#freya prayer beads | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

anonwriter27 · 3 years

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Trust in Me Ch8

Hey! Hope you enjoy the latest chapter :)

“Am I not your mother?”

With a pained gasp Loki shot up from his bed, sweat beading on his brow, when would these night terrors end? This nightmare had been a particularly bad one. He could handle the torment of his torturer, the menacing grin, the promises of pain; but the memories of his mother would inflict the most grief. It didn’t matter if they were happy or sad, they were a reminder that she was gone.

Loki could not stay in his room this time, he had to move, he had to distract himself. He made his way to the living room.

At 3am Loki had thought he would be alone, but in the corner next to a small lit lamp was Bella. She was wearing a wool blanket as a shawl, clutching an empty cup of tea in one hand, and in the other a copy of Tess of the d’Urbervilles. Her white fuzzy socks peaked through the cocoon she had made for herself in the armchair; she looked so innocent and content with the world.

“I believe I’ve tracked that as your fourth book of the week.” Loki spoke softly, grabbing her attention, “and it’s only Wednesday.”

She laughed quietly, “I seem to have chosen some riveting books this week.”

“So riveting they’ve kept you from sleep?” Loki asked.

She shook her head sadly. Loki walked into the kitchen, filled the kettle, and switched it on to boil.

“Nightmares?” Loki pressed.

Y/N looked thoughtful, “In a way…they make me more sad than frightened.” She explained.

Loki made two cups of tea and brought one over to Bella; she smiled at him gratefully. Loki took a seat on the sofa across from her, looking out the window at the bright lights of New York. His view was obstructed by small gathering raindrops, delicately hanging on the glass.

Y/N had noticed the tired expression on Loki’s face the past few weeks. He tried to disguise it as boredom, but slowly dark circles were forming under his eyes. She had begun to worry for the trickster.

“Is that what’s keeping you awake? The nightmares?” Y/N asked quietly, still afraid of crossing a line.

Loki looked over at her and she could have sworn he seemed relieved; relieved someone had noticed or that he did not have to admit it, she wasn’t sure.

Loki hesitated, debating whether he should divulge this information. The God of lies decided to be honest; she had shown him nothing but trust and he wanted to return the favour.

“Not all of them are nightmares. They are mostly memories, good and bad.” Loki admitted, his voice low, almost inaudible.

A long silence followed, comfortable but weighted. There was a lot to be understood from what had not been said. Y/N knew Loki would not reveal more about his dreams, nor would she reveal the details of her own. It was enough to know that they were both haunted by their pasts.

Loki changed the subject, not wanting to dwell on what he had wanted to escape from.

“I hope Thor is treating you kinder.” He said.

Y/N had noticed Thor had been more hospitable towards her. When making a drink he would offer her one or if asking the group a question he made sure she was included in the conversation. It was a small change, but a significant one. Y/N had wondered if Loki had had something to do with it.

She smiled, “He is. I don’t think we are friends just yet but maybe in time… I don’t blame him for being wary.”

Loki sighed and brushed his hand through his hair. Y/N liked it when he looked casual like this, he seemed relaxed with her and in turn she relaxed with him.

“My brother should know better than to judge a person for their family. How many would judge him due to their hatred for Odin?” He scoffed.

Bella’s lip quirked upwards remembering her father, “My father would be on that list.”

Loki looked up at her, noting her startled expression, as though the words had slipped out of their own accord.

“Oh? Your father did not care for the almighty Odin?” Loki said, with a devilish grin and a humorous tone.

His teasing smile gave Y/N the permission she needed to carry on without fear of causing offence.

“My father did not care for the Gods. His brother Regin was devoted to Odin, he even raised his sons to worship him. But my father always told me to never trust the Gods.” Y/N said, hearing her father’s words echo through her head.

Loki was surprised. Despite the Tatum Clan being unpopular in Asgard, they were devoted subjects. He would hear their battle cries to Thor on their many raids. He suspected this dedication would dwindle throughout time, but he hadn’t expected a Tatum to cast aside the Gods outright.

“May I ask why? He asked curiously.

She remembered her father’s warning, “He said that people spend their entire lives trying to please the Gods, to interpret their teaching and follow them whole heartedly; but the Gods are fickle, what they would teach, they would reinterpret, never to be satisfied with what man can offer. He said he would not live his life depending on their false courtesies and small mercies.”

Y/N stopped and smiled.

“This annoyed my uncle to no end.” She chuckled, “I think my father would say it just to annoy him.”

Loki chuckled with her, “Your father sounds like a wise man. Your uncle’s faith never wavered?”

Y/N shook her head, “He remained loyal to Odin most of his life. He had four strong sons with strong Norse names. He thanked the Gods for them every day, prayed for their safety every day, begged for their bright futures every day.” Y/N’s voice grew quieter towards the end.

Loki noticed her smile had grown sad. “Most of his life?”

“My cousins… Regin’s sons, were some of the first to die when the family were…well.” She never knew what to call the demise of her family, a slaughter? A cull?

“Regin felt as though his prayers had been ignored. He asked my father why Odin had forsaken him; my father simply told him what he had always told me, that Gods are fickle. They say on his last day Regin did not pray.” She spoke sadly, “Despite my father’s waring, I do hope he and his boys are in Valhalla…it’s all he wanted.” Y/N said.

Loki pondered her father’s words. Pandering to ‘false courtesies and small mercies,’ is that not what Loki had done his entire life? Had he not waited for scraps of kindness from his supposed father only to be condemned for doing just what the Allfather had done himself? Odin had hated the Tatum’s, maybe Rafael was the reason why. Could Rafael see what others had been blind to?

Y/N could feel Loki overthinking, she could see it in his eyes too. When Tony began to worry a simple touch of his hand would soothe him; Y/N did not wish to be too forward with Loki, so she changed her method of comfort.

Y/N tightened her blanket around her shoulders and grabbed a few cushions from the neighbouring sofas. She scattered them in front of the giant window, arranging them much like she did the night they watched the fireworks. She sat down in the little den of cushions, looked over to Loki and patted the spot next to her.

Loki was slightly bewildered by her actions. For a woman wise beyond her years, he had never seen her look so youthful and relaxed. The seat she offered was inviting, it promised warmth and comfort. He took her offer and sat down beside her.

The pitter-patter of rain against the window was calming. They watched the city continue to go about its business for a little while before Belle spoke up.

“My Uncle told me many stories about the Gods when I was a little girl. Did Thor really dress up as the Goddess Freya?”

Loki couldn’t hold back his laughter, “Yes my dear, he did. It all started when the giant Thrym snuck into Asgard…”

Loki continued to recount Norse tales from long ago for many more hours. They grew more and more tired as the night went on and eventually fell asleep on the pile of cushions. Y/N was the first to fall asleep, her head resting against Loki’s shoulder; not long after, Loki gave in and rested his head on top of hers, he drifted into a dreamless sleep.

Loki awoke just two hours later; the tower was still quiet, and the sky was still dark. He looked down to see Y/N resting peacefully in his arms, they appeared to have gravitated closer together in their sleep.

She was curled into Loki’s side, safe and secure. Loki had one arm tucked behind his head, the other wrapped around the young woman beside him. His cheek rested against her forehead, the gentle flutter of her eyelashes brushing against his chin.

Loki couldn’t shift the feeling of contentment, no matter how hard he tried to convince himself that it meant nothing. The warmth of her body soothed him, her even breathing calmed him. It was the first time he had slept without his memories interrupting him.

It was a big statement of trust for Y/N to fall asleep in front of him, one that Loki would not take for granted.

Slowly and carefully, he lifted her into his arms and carried her over to the sofa. After making sure her head was gently placed upon one of the soft cushions, he draped her blanket over her sleeping form.

Loki made his way to his own bed and tried to continue his peaceful slumber, but for some reason, when he closed his eyes, he felt like something was missing.

Y/N was confused by her surroundings when she awoke the next day. When the memories of the night before came back to her, she blushed profusely and hoped she had not offended Loki by being so forward.

“How come you slept out here?” She heard, making her jump off the sofa and onto the floor in shock.

She turned to find Bucky smirking down at her.

“Bucky you scared me!” She said regaining her lost breath.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” He said sheepishly.

Y/N felt guilty, “I know…I’m sorry. I’m not quite awake yet.” She got up and made her way to the kitchen where a fresh pot of coffee was brewing.

Bucky smiled, “That’s okay, I was just wondering if you wanted anything from the bakery?”

Y/N looked at him surprised, “You’re going out today?”

Like Bella, Bucky did not leave the tower much. He would go out much more frequently than she would, but he had fears of his own. Loud noises startled Bucky, but over the last year or so, he had tried to get used to them and pushed himself to go visit new places.

“Steve is going with me. It’s been a week since I last went out and he’s getting anxious.” Bucky chuckled at his friend’s over protectiveness.

Y/N gave him a big smile, “That’s great Bucky.”

As they made a small shopping list for Bucky’s bakery trip, Loki came into the room. He hadn’t interacted much with the winter soldier, but he seemed civil.

Y/N noticed Loki enter and found that she felt something akin to nervousness. Was it nerves? Why did she feel this strange flutter in the pit of her stomach? She felt her skin heat up too, making her aware that her cheeks had turned as red as cherries.

Bucky noticed this change in his friend, he had never seen her so flushed. It was somewhat entertaining.

“Morning.” Loki said.

“Morning.” Bucky replied with no malice or trepidation.

“Yes morning, it’s…um…morning.” Y/N fumbled over her words.

What on earth had gotten into her.

Loki also noticed this change, but believed she merely felt embarrassed about having fallen asleep together. Loki wasn’t offended by this; to rest with someone is an intimate act, especially for someone as timid as Bella. He just hoped she did not regret it.

“Okay…” Bucky said, trying to move away from the awkwardness of the encounter, “I’m heading to the bakery if you want anything?” Bucky asked Loki.

“The bakery?” Loki questioned.

“It’s just around the corner from here. I can show you if you like?” Bucky offered.

Loki hesitated, “I’m not sure that is wise…”

“If it helps, Steve’s going to be there to make sure I don’t mess up and scare everyone. I’m sure he can babysit the both of us.” Bucky smirked.

His dry sense of humour had caught Loki off-guard. Loki had been somewhat made aware of the circumstances that brought the soldier to the tower. Bucky’s situation was not too dissimilar to his own.

“Well if you think he can handle it...” Loki joked, earning a chuckle from Bucky.

Bucky got up from his seat, “They don’t call him a super soldier for nothing, shall we?”

Loki was about to follow Bucky to the elevator but stopped to speak to Y/N first. He suddenly felt very shy.

“We could go to the library this afternoon… if you wanted?” he asked.

Y/N was surprised, but so very happy. She lowered her head, hoping her hair would shield the pink of her cheeks from his gaze. “I would like that.”

Loki smiled, “I had better get us some pastries then.”

With that he left, leaving Y/N to think about the God of Mischief and how good it felt to have him so close.

#loki x reader #loki fandom #loki odinson #loki laufeyson #thor #tony stark #bucky barnes #avengers #steve rogers

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tsgaustintexas · 4 years

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2019 Holiday Gift Guide

The 2019 Holiday Gift Guide is here! We’ve SCOUTED high and low for unique gift ideas to create ten lists of our favorite LOCAL finds! All of the items featured below are either designed, made or sold by independent businesses in Austin. The holiday season is the most important time of year to support small businesses, so spread the local love by sharing this gift guide with friends and family! And don’t forget to check out our 2018 + 2017 + 2016 + 2015 guides for even more great ideas - shopping local never goes out of style… We hope this list will help you find the perfect gift for everyone on your list.

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xo - Leigh Ann

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autumnsvoice87 · 2 years

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Freya prayer beads I made.

#heathenry #norse pagan #freya #freya goddess #paganism #pagan #norse heathen #norse paganism #norse deities #norse #norse gods #norse pagan witch

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crookes-library · 5 years

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I know I’m mostly a ghost on here but I uh.. wrote a thing...enjoy?

Uhtred was cold. Stupidly cold.

They had been tracking a Welsh raiding party for days to little avail. Bastards were quick, grabbing what they could and retreating back into the spring mists.

“Colder than a witch’s tit, eh Lord?”

Uhtred, who was already wrapped in as many furs as he could find, only grumbled at his Irish companion.

Finan passed over a mug of ale with a smirk and sat down next to Uhtred with his own.

“That’ll warm you up some, rest of the lads have turned in ‘cept those on watch.”

“Good, they will need the rest, we make a final push tomorrow so that we can be rid of these earslings and go home,” Uhtred asserted. “They are still keeping close to the river Seafern we just need to get ahead of them.”

“Easily done if we knew what steading they were headed to next but they seem to be weaving all over the place like a drunken priest.”

Uhtred sighed and took a gulp of his ale, glaring at the fire as if it were responsible for the Welshmen eluding them.

“We’ll kill them and be on our way home to Coccham in no time Lord,” Finan assured, “in the meantime you should get some sleep too.

“Fine you Irish hen, I’m going,” Uhtred smiled, took another gulp of his ale and passed it back to his friend before heading to his own pile of furs.

“Good, if you call me a hen again though I’ll knock you on your arse, oath-lord or not,” Finan called after him.

Uhtred laughed, cold forgotten as he settled down to sleep.

Uhtred was true to his word, they rode the horses hard the next day, pausing only at farms and settlements to ask if the Welshmen had been spotted.

Eventually they had news of the raiding party, a farmer’s wife had spotted them at the crest of the hill above her fields, heading west.

“Maybe they’re fucking off home?” Finan questioned.

“Not if I have anything to say about it,” Uhtred snarled. He stood slightly in his saddle and called back across his band of men, “Come on! We slaughter the Welsh bastards like the thieving pig-shits they are!”

A cry went up amongst Uhtred’s men and Finan next to him grinned in anticipation of a battle.

They pushed on, following where the farmer’s wife had pointed them to the crest of the hill and the valley beyond.

It wasn’t long before they spotted the Welshmen, a few cattle and sheep in tow and a cart surely full with Mercian silver. They rode till the Welshmen spotted them and were forced to turn and form a shield-wall.

Uhtred and his men dismounted, forming their own shield wall, Finan at Uhtred’s side as always. The Welsh screamed wildly and Uhtred started his men in the battle rhythm of swords and axes thumping against shields.

The Welshmen were outnumbered and they knew it but they looked determined to take some of Uhtred’s men with them before the end. Uhtred would have to trust he had trained his men well enough to stand firm.

As they began to make their approach to the Welsh archers appeared behind, they got off one volley just as Uhtred yelled for shields up. Uhtred felt as Finan pushed him slightly to the right just as an arrow slammed down at him. Then the second rank had lifted their shields above the heads of the first rank and they were protected again.

It was a desperate last attempt at survival and as Uhtred glanced at Finan and down the rest of the line it did not appear that anyone had been hit.

Uhtred screamed his own battle-cry then and pushed forward the last few steps to meet with the Welsh shield wall where the real work began.

It was over quickly, the Welshmen despatched and the livestock and goods gathered to be escorted back to the nearest burh.

“I reckon Ceaster is our best bet to drop these off Lord,” Finan called to Uhtred as he wiped his sword on the grass to clean it of blood.

“Likely as not,” Uhtred answered, thumping Finan in the arm on his way past. From the corner of his eye he saw his friend wince and paused.

“You are hurt?” Uhtred asked, turning back and scrutinising the state of Finan’s chainmail more closely.

“Just a scratch,” Finan shrugged as he showed Uhtred a notch on his left arm where an arrow had broken through the mail.

“You should still bind it,” Uhtred bent and ripped a strip of tunic from a dead raider, walking to Finan he wrapped it round his arm and tied it off. “Come on then,” Uhtred jerked his head towards where Oswi had been keeping the horses.

“Now who’s the hen…Lord,” Finan laughed.

“Earsling,” Uhtred growled, Finan only laughed harder.

They made good progress that afternoon and found shelter in a small copse of trees for the night. A drizzling rain had begun but they managed to spark a small fire to keep them warm.

Uhtred was still cold but not as cold as Finan it seemed who had begun to shiver as he sat by the fire. Uhtred watched as he ate some of the hare they had caught, drank some ale and excused himself for the night.

The boys were loud and rowdy after their victory, it seemed strange that Finan went to sleep so early but Uhtred soon got caught up in stories of battle scars and thought nothing more of it till the next morning.

Uhtred woke in the dawn light needing to piss, he walked a little way from their camp to relieve himself then wandered back and checked on the horses. The rest of the camp had begun to stir when he returned, Oswi packing up for the days travel and the men donning their armour and swords.

They were all but ready to leave for the merchants road up to Ceaster when Uhtred noticed Finan still asleep under his furs.

He went and nudged him with his foot.

“Come on you lazy arse,” Uhtred joked. Finan groaned and rolled over slightly. Bending down Uhtred saw that his friends face had gone pale and clammy.

“Finan?”

“Lord?” Finan’s eyes fluttered open slightly.

Cursing Uhtred pulled back the furs and rolled up the arm of Finan’s tunic to inspect the arrow wound. The binding was black and yellow with blood and pus.

“Oswi!” Uhtred yelled, “Here, now!”

“What’s wrong m’lord?” Oswi asked, the rest of the men looking over.

“His wound has become infected, we must carry him to the cart and get him to a healer,”

With Uhtred at his head and Oswi at his feet they lifted Finan to the small cart they had taken from the Welsh.

“Sihtric bring the furs!” Uhtred called.

“Yes m’lord,”

Finan groaned in pain as he was settled in the cart, Uhtred pulled the furs from Sihtric’s hand and bundled them round the Irishman.

“We go now!” Uhtred yelled to the rest of his men as he jumped from the cart and mounted his horse. They all moved with single purpose and haste, Finan was well loved amongst his men Uhtred knew and they would be devastated to lose him.

They rode as fast as they dared, ever mindful of the rocking of the cart as they met up with the road to Ceaster. Uhtred rode next to the cart, one eye always on Finan who only seemed to grow paler and more restless. Sweat beaded on his brow even as he pulled the furs closer about him.

Uhtred prayed desperately to Thor and Odin and Freya that Finan would last till they got him to a healer. He even sent a prayer to the Christian God, if he ever had a care for his believers to watch over Finan now.

By the time they reached Ceaster Uhtred was near frantic and all the men were tense, Finan had begun to thrash and cry out in his sleep for the last few miles as if he had become possessed.

They passed the goods they had reclaimed from the Welsh to the guards on the gate to deal with and asked for the nearest healer. Uhtred looked as fierce as he had ever done as he glared at the Saxon soldier waiting for an answer.

“T-two streets that way,” the guard pointed, “there is a healer woman in a small home 3 doors down from the Dragon’s Head alehouse.”

Uhtred was moving almost before the guard had finished his sentence, when they got there he left most of his men to rest in the alehouse, taking only Sihtric and Oswi with him to help him with the cart.

Uhtred knocked on the healer’s door and Sihtric and Oswi lifted Finan from his makeshift bed in the cart.

A pale woman with long dark hair answered the door, she glanced at Uhtred and then at Finan being carried behind him.

“Bring him in,” she opened her door wider and stepped aside to let Sihtric and Oswi through.

It seemed to take hours for the healer to inspect Finan as Uhtred hovered. Sihtric and Oswi left to rejoin the men, the room too small to fit all of them.

The woman peeled off the binding on Finan’s arm and hissed at the black mess there, leaning forward she sniffed at the wound and then spat on the floor.

“Poison,” she muttered.

“Fucking bastards,” Uhtred growled, “they’re lucky they’re already dead or I would go back and kill them slowly.”

“That will not help now,” the healer said as she stood from where she had been kneeling by Finan’s side, “go draw water from the well, I will need it for the work to come.”

Uhtred went, heart still hammering in his chest, as the healer began picking herbs from her store and throwing them together in a bowl to grind up.

She gestured him over as soon as he returned, dipping her hand in the water and cupping a little to add to the mixture of herbs. Uhtred placed the bucket of water down and kneeled on the other side of Finan as the healer mixed the herbs and water to make a paste.

Once satisfied she began to spread the paste over the wound and then went to a cupboard to collect some fresh cloth and bound the wound back up.

“Start a fire,” she commanded Uhtred as she opened another cupboard an pulled out a pot.

Pot hung over the fire she poured in the rest of the water from the bucket and left it to boil as picked more herbs.

Uhtred, having returned to Finan’s side after lighting the fire, watched in admiration as she went about her business.

Finally he broke the silence.

“What is your name?”

“My name is Bergliot,” the healer answered as she continued cutting herbs and adding them to the pot.

“You have my thanks Bergliot,”

“Do not thank me yet Lord Uhtred, we must see if he lasts through the night,”

“You know me?” Uhtred asked.

“Few do not know you Lord,” she replied with a wry smile.

Once she was satisfied with her mix she spooned some into a clay bowl and put it aside to cool slightly.

“Come, he must wake and drink this,” Bergliot moved to Finan and lifted his head. “He likely will not answer to a stranger but he will answer you, you need to call him to wakefulness,”

Uhtred looked at her and nodded.

“Finan? …Finan?” His friend stirred slightly but did not wake.

“You can do better than that,” Bergliot said, raising a dark eyebrow, Uhtred shrugged and grinned, accepting the challenge.

“Oi Finan you Irish bastard son of an earsling, I know you’ve only got straw in that thick skull of yours but do try to use some of it to wake up you dog-turd!” Uhtred shouted in Finan’s ear.

“Who’re’ya calling a dog-turd, you dog-turd,” Finan slurred, eyes barely open but open all the same.

Uhtred barked out a laugh even as Bergliot handed him the bowl, still keeping Finan’s head up with her hand.

“Drink this you fool,” Uhtred lifted the bowl to Finan’s lips letting him drink the potion down in small increments.

Exhausted by the effort Finan fell back asleep as soon as the bowl was emptied and Uhtred settled in for a long night.

Bergliot, satisfied that she had done all she could passed a blanket to Uhtred and then retired to her own cot and blanket for the night.

Uhtred soon found he could not sleep so he stood and went to draw more water from the well. As he left he spotted Sihtric waiting by the wood-store.

“Any news Lord?” Sihtric asked.

“The healer has done all she can, all we can do now is wait,” Uhtred sighed.

“Did you need water Lord?” Sihtric asked, glancing at the bucket.

“Yes, I was going to get some more,”

“I will go Lord, you stay here, Finan would never let you hear the end of it if you became an errand boy for him.”

“All too true,” Uhtred laughed though it sounded brittle in his ears, “Thank you Sihtric.”

Uhtred returned to Finan’s side and when Sihtric brought him water and left again he found more cloth and wiped the sweat from the Irishman’s brow.

He was sharply reminded of their time on the slaver ship, looking after each other when they grew weak or sick. They had kept each other alive through that hell and Finan had been a solid presence at his back ever since.

Heart suddenly in his throat, Uhtred leaned forwards pressing his forehead against Finan’s.

“You are a warrior, Finan the Agile, this is not how you die,” Uhtred whispered.

“I think that’s yet to be decided Lord,” Finan croaked.

Uhtred pulled back, Finan’s face still looked pale and wan but there was a familiar teasing light in his eyes.

“Ale?” Finan asked, his lips cracked and dry.

Uhtred stood immediately and poured a cup from the jug on the side. Returning to Finan he slid his hand behind his head to lift him up enough to drink.

Finan managed to drink about half the contents before he pushed it away.

Uhtred stared at him intensely.

“How do you feel?”

“Like absolute shite what do you think?” Finan muttered.

“The healer is good, she knows what she’s doing,”

“Aye she may well be the best healer in all of Mercia and Wessex but if it is my time then it’s my time,”

“Don’t be an idiot, we haven’t reclaimed Bebbanburg yet and you haven’t had revenge on your brother, you’re nowhere near done,” Uhtred argued.

“Maybe I don’t get those things, maybe I’m being punished,” Finan sighed.

“Punished for what you earsling, much as it pains me to say you’re a good man and a loyal friend.”

Finan was already slipping back into unconsciousness, eyes drooping closed.

“Punished for wanting what I shouldn’t, punished for wanting you,” Finan whispered before he was gone again, fast asleep.

The only evidence he had ever woken up at all being the half drunk cup of ale in Uhtred’s hand and the dumbstruck look on his face.

Uhtred was not aware of falling asleep but he must have at some point because he woke to a cock crowing and Bergliot collecting more wood for a new fire.

Seeing that Uhtred had woken she spoke.

“He is less feverish, this is a good sign,” Uhtred’s gaze dropped to Finan who did indeed look less clammy and more peaceful in his sleep. He had a moment of hopeful relief before he remembered the night before and worried he was staring too intently.

Scrambling to his feet and clearing his throat Uhtred declared his intention to pass the good news onto his men before hurrying out of the hut as if Fenrir himself were at his heels.

When he reached the alehouse and told those of his men who were awake that Finan appeared to have taken a turn for the better they were indeed overjoyed. Uhtred stayed awhile for food and conversation but his mind remained with Finan.

If Finan meant what he thought he had meant by wanting him Uhtred did not know where they went from here. Finan had never so much as hinted at it before for all the years they had been together.

It was true that Finan had never really settled on a woman, there had been the odd one at Inns and alehouses just as Uhtred had had his dalliances since losing Gisela but no-one who had turned his head for more than a night. Uhtred had thought nothing of it before but now he wondered if he was the reason Finan had never sought a wife.

It troubled him that his most loyal friend may have been suffering in his account. It was not like Uhtred had never lain with a man, there had been a beautiful boy at a nearby farmstead when he was growing under Ragnar’s care but he had found he loved Brida’s company more.

He considered Finan in this new light now and found it strikingly appealing. He had loved Finan since they had been bonded together in slavery but this new thought of bedding him had Uhtred flush with a new awareness.

Food finished he excused himself from his men and returned to Bergliot’s home up the street.

As he knocked and pushed the door open he heard retching, Finan was half bent over a bucket, Bergliot glanced up at Uhtred and then went back to pressing a wet cloth to the back of Finan’s neck.

“His body is expelling the poison, another day and he should be fit to ride,” Bergliot informed him.

“Good, you hear that Finan? You can get off your lazy arse soon,” Uhtred teased.

Finan leaned back from the bucket just far enough to curse at him before another bout of sickness washed over him. Uhtred laughed and settled in next to Finan’s bedside to wait while he regained his strength.

Finan drifted in and out of sleep most of the day but when he was awake he was his usual flippant self and made no mention of remembering what he had said the night before.

Sihtric and Oswi stopped by halfway through the day and ribbed Finan for getting bested by a poxy Welsh arrow. Finan threatened his revenge when he was on his feet and that was that.

Uhtred ordered Oswi to start getting everyone packed up, they would ride for home the next morning.

Dawn broke damp and chill the next morning, when Uhtred woke he turned to see Finan already awake next to him.

“Good?” Uhtred asked.

“I’m not as likely to keel over and die if that’s what you mean,” Finan shot back with a wry smile.

“You better not or I’ll find a way to bring you back just so I can kill you myself,” Uhtred grumbled and Finan laughed at him.

It was not long after that they had gathered the men and the horses to head home. Despite Finan’s protests Uhtred insisted he stay in the cart at least another day till they were sure he would not fall of his horse. Finan had a few colourful words in response to that but he conceded eventually.

Uhtred pressed silver into Bergliot’s hand and thanked her again for saving his friend.

“You have a good man there, he’ll do anything for you, I hope that you will look after each other,” she said as they were leaving.

“We always do,” Uhtred replied with a smile, she looked at him knowingly and Uhtred excused himself, suddenly overcome with awkwardness.

The road home was thankfully quiet, the damp mists discouraging most from travel. By the next day Finan had his way and was riding beside Uhtred once again. Uhtred kept a sharp eye on him but couldn’t find it in him to begrudge the Irishman his pride, just happy to have his friend next to him again.

By the time they found shelter that night they were only another day’s ride from home and the relief was tangible. What should have been a short venture to deal with a small raiding party felt like it had aged Uhtred another 5 years.

Finan organised the watch, already resuming his role as second-in-command, and the rest of the men turned in a few at a time till it was just Uhtred and Finan again watching the fire crackle.

Finan filled their cups and raised his to Uhtred.

“To hearth and home.”

“To your health,” Uhtred replied pointedly, Finan laughed and waved his concern off. They drank in silence for a few moments before Finan cleared his throat.

“Lord, I just wanted to make sure you knew anything I might have said whilst the fever had hold of me was just the fever and nothing more,” Finan began, avoiding Uhtred’s eye. “There’s nothing you need concern yourself of and no reason to talk of it again.”

“So you do remember,” Uhtred replied, staring at his friend as if trying to figure out a particularly complex battle strategy.

“I think it best we both forget Lord,”

“What if I don’t want to?” Uhtred countered.

“What do you mean what if you don’t want to? Have I not done enough for you for you to overlook one thing you absolute arse,” Finan hissed.

“I mean what if don’t bloody want to, you Irish shit,” Uhtred’s voice had raised slightly and Oswi nearby rolled in his sleep and muttered something about chickens.

Uhtred and Finan froze, they glanced at each other and stifled a shared laugh but the longer they looked at each other the quicker they sobered again.

Uhtred jerked his head towards the trees and rose from the fire, leaving his cup where it was. Finan followed of course.

They stopped just out of earshot of the camp but close enough still that the light of the fire flickered on the side of their faces.

“Listen, was it truly the fever talking?” Uhtred asked.

“Does it matter?” Finan responded.

“Yes it matters!”

Finan stared at him inscrutably for a long moment, their breath misting between them.

“Then I guess it wasn’t just the fever,” Finan finally answered.

“Good.” Uhtred looked as fierce and decisive then as he ever had on the battlefield. Wrapping his hands in the front of Finan’s tunic he pushed him up against the nearest tree and laid siege to his mouth.

Finan’s mouth opened to him with a surprised intake of breath and Uhtred’s tongue quickly laid claim to the warm cavern beyond. Finan predictably did not stay passive for long, pushing and pulling at Uhtred like a starving man suddenly provided with a banquet.

Finan’s hand rose to the back of Uhtred’s neck as he bit down on Uhtred’s bottom lip, leg jammed between his thighs. Their moist breath mingled heavily in the cold air as they pulled at each other furiously. Trying to get closer, impossibly close.

Many minutes later Uhtred pulled back slightly, forehead resting against Finan’s, he ducked in again, once, twice to kiss tentatively at Finan’s reddened lips. Finan chuckled and Uhtred could not help himself grinning back at his companion.

“Well not quite what I was expecting but not unwelcome,” Finan teased.

“Mm it will do,” Uhtred smiled and ducked in again for another taste.

Epilogue:

Higbald had not been Uhtred’s oath-man for long, this would be his first venture into battle with his Lord and he was eager to prove himself. He had been the first to volunteer for watch and set to it willingly.

Sihtric had been posted with him, more experienced, there to keep an eye on him he imagined.

It was a cold night and Higbald shivered as he sipped at his ale and chewed on some bread. Most of his companions had already retired to their furs, when he left left for his post it had only been a handful of men still sat around the fire with Lord Uhtred. Finan was there as ever, Higbald was in part awestruck and terrified by the Irishman.

He had seen him wield a sword and knew that Finan could cut him down in an instant and would do so were he ever to betray Uhtred, not that he ever would of course. Still there was a bond between them of Lord and right-hand man that Higbald found he envied.

As the moon rose and Higbald’s attention wavered there was a sudden crashing in the nearby bracken. Higbald thought it a boar perhaps until he heard faint laughter. He glanced at Sihtric who seemed unconcerned.

“Should we investigate?” Higbald asked, Sihtric smiled and shook his head

“It is just Lord Uhtred and Finan,” Sihtric answered.

“Are they alright? Do they need something?” Sihtric laughed at his questions.

“No, Lord Uhtred is likely just cold, Finan will warm him up,” Sihtric smirked.

It took a moment for Higbald to realise what his companion was implying and when he did his eyes went round. He had heard of such practice amongst some Danes but most Saxons thought ill of it. Sihtric’s gaze went dark.

“If you mention this to anyone I will cut your throat myself,” Sihtric threatened.

“No Lord, of course not! I am sworn to Uhtred and would never betray his confidence!” Higbald protested.

Sihtric smiled again and ruffled his hair.

“Good lad,” Sihtric acknowledged.

In the darkness of the trees laughter turned to moans and Higbald felt his face blush bright red at the thought of his commanders enjoying each other so. Sihtric laughed and went back to drinking his ale.

#uhtred x finan #uhtred of bebbanburg #the last kingdom #the saxon stories #finan #idiot boys

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