#fuck you for being able to understand what ur body says to you when i can’t

[st-danger]

saint may i trouble u for somethin quick rough and nasty idc which ghouls or how or what or why their fuxkin but im obsessed w ur writing please and thank u 🙏

Dew can't breathe. There's no hand on his throat, no palm covering his mouth, but his knees are folded up to his ears and Ifrit is an imposing, impossible figure above him, pressing in and knocking the air from his lungs with every thrust. Mouth parted, looking dazed. Intense and relentless is a nice look on him, even if that's the only nice thing about him for the time being.

Dew has some hair sticking to the corner of his mouth, his sweaty forehead. His nerves feel oversensitive, his body aches already, and he isn't sure what he says please for. Not sure what he's asking, but it feels correct to say, a soft puff of air knocked from him with a particularly nasty roll of Ifrit's hips. His hands press ineffectively against Ifrit's broad chest, clawing at him as the angle lets him drill against a sensitive spot inside. It's so good and Ifrit won't let him forget it. The irritation from that will be a problem for future him, and he'll roll his eyes and play stupid when Ifrit dares to call him out later, telling him he knows he's the best he's had and that it's so obvious he needs it again. Needs to be put in his place, because the others are too nice to him. Too kind, too loving. The others don't understand the ways in which Dew needs to be fucked brainless.

"Please?" Ifrit mocks. "What more could you want?"

Ifrit buries himself deep, holds himself in, leans in further and Dew's sure he can feel him in his throat. Arms bracketing him, boxing him in. Not that he has any leverage like this, but even if he wasn't folded up to be used, ankles over his shoulders, he still wouldn't be able to wriggle away if Ifrit's on him. He's possessed, thoroughly and inescapably, and he'll have the bite marks and bruises to show for it when he's finally finished using him. He will ache, he will wince, and nothing will ever feel as good as when Ifrit uses him like an object.

"Please," Dew wheezes again, and knows his cock is leaking a spot of pre onto his belly. Knows that each thrust he gets is moving him, smearing the wet spot around his skin, cock trapped between their stomachs. He can finish from this. It's barely enough friction on his dick, but it's enough with how keyed up he is, which how perfectly Ifrit nudges inside him right there. The sum of it all is enough, the helplessness, the cruelty. "Use- me, make me, c'mon, make me cum."

Ifrit adjusts enough to where he can lean all his weight onto one arm, freeing the other to grab Dew's face. Thumb digging into one cheek, fingertips into the other, forceful and aggressive and squeezing, squishing his face. Reflexively, Dew's hands fly to his arm, though not to pull it away. To anchor. Ifrit's eyes burn into his, brow knit together, staring at him like he can see more than anyone else. Something secret and shamefully weak.

"I'm fucking you until I'm done," Ifrit warns, voice dark and low. "You don't want to cum early." Dew nods, eyes wide, and Ifrit drags out slow and then slams back in. Fucks a pathetic whimper out of him. Repeats. The hand on his face is painful. He has to look stupid. "Yeah? You wouldn't want to take my cock all sensitive like that, would you?" Each snap of his hips makes Dew's eyes struggle to focus, little toes curling. "That'd be awful for you," Ifrit grunts, throbbing hard when he pauses before drawing out again. "All used up and cryin' for me. Be a fucked up thing for you to want."

Dew nods again as best he can with his face being gripped the way it is.

"Please," he says again, weak.

[shakespearean-dream]

last of the big five yall!!!!

happy late fourth of july! remember to keep boycotting, speak out and listen to palestinians, the people of congo, native americans, queer/trans people and women currently being oppressed this independence day because america fucking sucks!!! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅🦅🔥🔥🔥

here are a couple good places to donate! please remember to do your own research and take care of each other, it’s getting scary out here.

ohhhh nimdok, where to start with you….

i have been dreading doing him because he pisses me off so bad but i actually had some decent fun with him :D. designing him and branching out farther away from his canon self was nice, but im not touching his backstory or personality really, that stays about the same for me in my head.

speaking of whichhh! like benny, i understand how the game makers had a short amount of time to fit an entire character arc of an old man undoing his deeply internalized racism/xenophobia/ableism in a singular short scenario, but unlike benny i actually somehow like his better?? nimdok had a lot more to get over (well not saying being a dickhead murderer isn’t a lot but 😭) and i enjoyed seeing him actually help out the people he would’ve previously turned in. it still feels a little hollow/unrealistic because again, he’s been like this his whole life, but considering how much AM takes him away from the group to (most likely) psychologically torture him for his actions he’s probably had a bit of a revelation.

doing his scenario was unfortunately funny at times because of the strange way we had to go about redeeming him with the golem guy😭giving him a smooch caught me off guard but ykw? i’ll take it for being able to kill mengele like immediately afterward. also speaking of whichhhh…

i would go into more detail about nimdok and mengeles relationship to give it some depth because god i love me some queers, but that is??? a real fucking guy???? a real life monster???? im less than comfortable picturing the fucker in my mind, much less giving him depth with a character who i also don’t like. like why ship ur essentially OC with a REAL LIFE N/AZI??? just another one of the reasons harlan elision creeps me out. (if that just pissed you off google search him s/a-ing 2 people, marrying a 19 year old when he was in his 40s and defending a child r/apist i really don’t feel like arguing with you. the guy was a horrible fucking person and he makes me sick, i just like this franchise.)

i cannot cough up anymore thoughts about this fella pls forgive me; these past couple days have been rough on my 3 brain cells. AM will for sure be next and after that fully rendered/decked out full bodies are in order!! so look out for that:]]]] i may also start posting some art fight things since i was just complaining about the lag a post or so ago☺️ jk ily artfight. team seafoam lets goo

ok i love u guys!!! if u have any requests for me drop a comment or an ask, and thank you so much for the continued support on my art❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ lots of links on this post but one more quick reminder to take a look at my commission page if you’d like!!! yolanda is still in the shop because they cannot figure out what’s wrong with her :(

have a good night friends 🫶

[nereidprinc3ss]

so um, i wanted to rant in here for a little bit. so far, i have loved your dybmn series and this makes me think that the way you write your characters complexities is so good. i’m a little afraid of sharing this as everyone here seems to love dybmn spencer.

because god, spencer is so unfair and insufferable. reader is insecure but not as unbelievable unbearable as spencer, i understand if i might be misinterpreting this but it was easy to deduce he would be the one projecting his own insecurities on reader.

it annoys me how he won’t give her the opportunity to truly enjoy her body as she wants to sexually engage with him. he claims he wants her and cares for her pleasure but sometimes it doesn’t really look like it, it feels like some sort of manipulative traumatic tactic to actually hold her hostage even though he says he’s not.

it’s contradictory. just because everything went wrong with elle, which is WEIRD considering his whore phase doesn’t gives him the right to expect that much from reader. god, he’s a profiler. he might not be able to actually read minds but i’m pretty sure he’s perfectly capable of picking up clues with his IQ.

specially during her first fucking time with a man. how would he want her to tell him she loves him if she’s still soooooooo inexperienced? literally how? i feel bad for reading it this way but the andromeda chapter fucked me upppp. there were all sorts of theories going on my mind after i read it.

she knows nothing about relationships and is constantly put into the dangerous position of wanting to please him, he never forces her but it’s pretty obvious she TRIES. how is that not enough for him? and it’s not just the sex, he has always had her affection at his disposition (i say this according to the way she’s agreed to accept his invitations to events like the bar or film festivals, the way she’s constantly kissing him without being sexual and always asking for him).

nevertheless, i’m really excited to see how the series will be evolving as they go. every chapter comes up with something new and i love that we’re able to theorize about it. i just really hope we get a big apology from spencer because….

i’m keeping this one:

💐

thank u so much for taking the time to share ur thoughts!! I rlly appreciate it lovely!! and honestly i don’t think you’re alone in disliking dybmn spencer😭 he gets a lot of hate!!

me explaining stuff abt reid below👇 there are reasons for him being the way he is it’s not ALL inexcusable i promise!!

he is honestly probably more insecure than reader. one thing a lot of people have asked me is “how does it make sense for him to be so traumatized from what happened with elle and still have slept with a ton of women after” and honestly psychologically speaking it’s really not a reach that he would have done that! often when people are really insecure about themselves they seek reassurance and validation from other people, and sometimes they go about getting that validation through sex! i imagine since elle he’s never had a real committed romantic relationship and it’s all been very casual hookups, sometimes w the same people but never breaching into romance territory (don’t mention maeve idk if she’s canon or not in dybmn universe lol)

and I don’t think he’s holding her hostage, he just truly can’t imagine that she loves him back. and if you think about it he has every reason not to. his affection hasn’t been reciprocated or received well for most of his life (elle, his dad, his mom, jj (sorry for bringing up jeid)). even if you’re receiving all the input that someone likes you, if you hate yourself enough you’ll go to crazy lengths to not believe it.

i agree that it’s not super healthy, but he knows that! in my mind that’s actually why he told her on the phone that they didn’t feel the same way—he was trying to essentially be like hey girl you should know im pretty sure you don’t like me as much as i like you, and that’s fine, but if it makes you uncomfortable then we should talk about it because i don’t want you to feel like there are terms and conditions on our relationship that you didn’t understand.

also it might be helpful to realize that in some ways spencer really is not more experienced with romantic relationships than she is. he had a situationship with elle that never went anywhere and a bunch of hookups (and maybe maeve but even if that happened it was like a fake relationship lmao they were e dating and I don’t believe he really loved her but that’s a post for another day). but he doesn’t know how to exist in a healthy relationship with a partner who really cares for him any more than she does. most of dybmn is from readers perspective and she FEELS that he’s way more experienced but that experience is pretty much limited to sex which is obviously a big hang up for her so not surprising that she focuses on it so much and his experience seems so vast. but yeah romantically he is also a late bloomer and fairly stunted. he’s kinda figuring it all out for the first time just like she is!

so anyway that was me defending reid for four paragraphs!! but also maybe he’s just an asshole idk men suck why am I defending one of them

thank u again for giving me an excuse to talk abt this!!! ily

[shadeslayer]

I wanna thank you for being so open and real about fat love and fat liberation and all. I've known for a while that I like fat bodies, my own, my partner's, others', but it felt like something I had to keep quiet even within my own mind. I could admit to it but I couldn't be proud of it, you know? but after having followed you for a while and seen other perspectives, I've gone from tentatively acknowledging my feelings to fully joyfully embracing them. being fat makes me happy! seeing fat people makes me happy! I felt overwhelming amounts of joy about this. thank you for sharing what you do it's changed my world.

YES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i saw this as i was going to sleep last night it melted my heaaaart <3333 FAT IS SEXY !!!!!!!!

theres a lot of stuff with marginalization where we can only be allowed to exist if we're ashamed of it, if we don't enjoy it, as long as its not a choice and as long as we dont actively want to be the way we are. and theres been good moves along trans joy, queer joy, being proud of your heritage and your skin and the same is happening if quietly within fat movements too and its the best shit ever. i understand peoples concerns but personally im fucking over it and im done with having to play nicey nice "im so sorry im fat skinny people look prettier skinny people are the ideal" games because im NOT sorry and fat people DO look prettier and fatness IS the ideal IMHO (in my huge opinion) !!! its great being fat and i love being fat and i love it when other people are fat and when other people are fat they look hot as fuck and the world is literally a more beautiful, more sexy, more vibrant place with fat people visibly existing in it. if people wanna be fussed about that thats THEIR problem !

if youre interested in fatlib and anti-diet movement/s i do have some book/blog/zine recs i can give you! but honestly its like. its so good to be able to say truthfully w ur whole chest that yeah i love the way fat people look, i love fatness, seeing fat people makes me happy and fat people are the ones who turn me on.

im also deeply flattered bc there are people im friends with / who i follow who have been formative like that for me, and im surprised i blog about fatness enough to count LOL. i feel a lot of it is all on my nsfw blog which isnt like suuper popular or anything. but honestly if u love fat talk u shld see me in the dms with my fat femme bestie bc we tear bitches up in there. i dont like to make waves too much esp w fatness bc it can be sooo divisive and intense (bc there is so much trauma in all of us over it, so i get it!) so i dont post much of my Real Hot Takes but im glad the fat love gets across. impossible 2 contain, same as my SEXY TUMMY IN THESE TINY SHIRTS !

literally it is so healing in ways that are innumerable. the way i live in my body has improved so much now that im proudly loving and excited abt and happy abt fat. so many little things and moments in my life have been turned around where i see myself as sexy when my shirt rides up, when my pants dont fit, when i get food on my shirt. that shit is hot. and dont let any COWARDS tell you differently

ALSO: being into fat and talking abt it as a fat person w ur fat partner is so fucking amazing and i promise if u start that discussion you will get some of the red hot sexiest pics u will ever see from ur partner bc thats happened in my rship and its like. [redacted for nsfw]

took a couple selfies to trace and drew this for u darling. go forth and be FAT

[crippleprophet]

i hope this is okay to ask, really sorry if it's not!! i was wondering if u or ur followers have any tips for getting a doctor to actually do tests (i can't get a different doctor), or if anyone has better understanding than me of the wording and tests used for fnd

i have a neuro appointment at the end of the month and from our one previous appointment he's already decided i have fnd even tho my symptoms don't particularly fit (and like.. he said i had positive hoovers when he also said i have near normal strength? all the things i have read about hoovers sign talk about it with people who have one very weak limb and other limb with normal strength. he also said i have "give way" weakness but it wasn't that i could hold my limbs up and then collapsed under gentle touch; i could push back for a few seconds but then would be weaker and buckle because my weakness gets worse with exertion. i dunno if he's using these things correctly because from what i can read it doesn't sound like the typical ways it's used but i also can't read a lot before getting triggered). i want to get a EMG with repetitive nerve stimulation because my GP thinks i have seronegative myasthenia gravis, and would like to get a muscle biopsy to look at other neuromuscular causes like MD or mito, but i have no idea how to get him to order these. in the time since my first appointment with him i realised i have scapular winging and that that's probably the causes of my neck and shoulder nerve pain and i know from an old CT that i have loss of cervical lordosis so am hoping that maybe?? bringing up these structural changes in the areas i get a lot of my muscular symptoms Might help convince him it's not functional but i don't have a ton of hope. i'm bringing support people with me but other than that and saying things like "to rule out" rather than "because i think i have" when asking for tests do u have any advice?? or knowledge on the fnd things? i am So Scared for the appointment shshdhdjdj

oh god i’m so fucking sorry you’re dealing with this, that’s such bullshit. i think emphasizing that your GP wanted the EMG is the aspect that’s most likely to be effective, if possible you could also try to get your GP to send the neuro a letter listing the tests they want ordered (which could include ones you propose). i think the fact that your gp is considering seronegative MG is a really good sign so i hope they’ll advocate for you!

idk if you’re in a system / situation where you can go to a different neuro but if that’s a possibility i strongly recommend you consider it. i’ll get into this more in a second but the fact that he’s framing your symptoms through the lens of these signs & that he invoked fnd without conducting any tests is a strong indication that he’s going to push an fnd diagnosis no matter what your test results actually say.

the strength signs aren’t “my area” so to speak so i’ve called in a consult with my gf who is a med student planning on going into neuro :)

so both of these signs are bullshit because they exist as a metric of whether or not to invalidate someone’s symptoms, which it seems like is exactly what your neurologist is trying to do to you. so for me the issue is less how he’s using these signs than the fact that he’s using them, if that makes sense

hoover’s sign is technically defined based on how you’re moving your body rather than muscle strength but some doctors may use it in that form. it’s generally like “your right leg moved when i had you move your left leg so i’ve decided you’re lying about your right leg being paralyzed,” so it’s weird that he’s using it in a context where you’re not telling him you’re paralyzed but it doesn’t mean he’s necessarily acting outside the bounds of the test as it has been constructed, if that makes sense

what you describe you doing – pushing back for a second & then not being able to – is how “give way” weakness is defined; the example you described of holding a limb up & then collapsing without pushing back would be written as a separate exam finding. so as my gf said, “i don’t think he’s using these terms incorrectly per se, i just dispute the value of them.”

you may have already done this for your first appointment but for what it’s worth a lot of people with myasthenia gravis discuss having strategically worn themselves out immediately before going to the doctor (by talking on the phone, darting their eyes around, etc). obviously this takes a certain level of familiarity with your energy capacity on any given day because you can’t then be too tired to get through the appointment… there are definitely certain risks involved as with any intentional act of making ourselves sicker so it’s up to you whether that’s worth it!

there are also some other get sicker MG tips in another post in my myasthenia gravis tag if you want to check that out!

i’m really sorry again that you’re dealing with this, you deserve compassionate & comprehensive care which imo functional diagnoses are fundamentally at odds with. wishing you the best of luck getting the testing you want asap <333

[possibilistfanfiction]

"the neoliberal rhetoric of the pronoun (ESPECIALLY in english) as the ultimate form of advocacy" -- it's such a relief to hear your take on ava's thoughts on pronouns bc i've always been frustrated by how limiting they are? how much stress they cause? i know pronouns are important for some folks but also we're so much more than that...

whew like ok i work in dei, mostly for youth (sport, schools, etc) but also doing lgbtq 101 workshops for upper level execs who run big sports orgs, school districts, blah blah, & it's like... people really think that getting someone's pronouns right (or even trying to get someone's pronouns right) is like........ you have done it! u are not transphobic! u understand the nuances of everyone's gender if you use the right pronoun!

& like... i get paid a fair amount of money to lowkey sell out & explain what a pronoun is (lol) but at the same time it is the fucking bane of my existence. i personally hate pronouns. i think they are legitimately so stupid lol. like... to distill the vast nuanced experience of both having a gender identity AND being perceived at all times as a gendered being (which sometimes match & sometimes don't) into a PRONOUN is just baffling to me.

i think cis people (especially those who don't really want to do the work needed to understand what abolition means -- how queerness & especially gender expansive trans identities are a crucial part of the intersection of where that ethic is rooted) just see pronouns as a sort of easy way out. like you're cool with trans people if you can remember someone's they/them pronouns. it's so gross & so deeply tried up in representational politics (diverse oppressors are still oppressors, white supremacy can be present in ethic & politic even without a white person in the room, etc).

& of course like you said pronouns are definitely important to some people (it is always nice to feel seen & respected at the most basic level 🤪) & definitely not at all saying that anyone should like get people's pronouns wrong, obviously, but i just really hate the concept of how my entire experience as a dyke & a person in general has to be reflected to the world at all times in a silly word which is so vastly incomplete. & i genuinely (not anyone's fault!) hate how that can get tied up in my writing, especially my writing about queerness. when ppl rly care abt terms & IDs etc i can understand bc the common messaging is all rooted in neoliberalism & "representation" instead of anti-state resistance, etc, so it's like. okay lol. but i am intentional in the way i write queerness bc of my own ethic & politic, so you know

ANYWAY yes. queerness & transness is so deeply expansive, to make it only about (or mostly about) pronouns is, to me, ethically against what queerness & transness really is, especially if those pronouns are mostly talked about in the context of english. & i would be remiss in saying that using non-normative &/or neopronouns is a privilege rooted in safety. often i don't disclose they/them pronouns bc i just don't want to explain myself, & i deeply do not care, but i'm always protected in a lot of ways by my whiteness (& that i'm educated, able-bodied, cis-passing, employed, etc etc etc). for a lot of people, for a lot of reasons, pronouns aren't safe. being out as trans isn't safe. but that doesn't mean their gender identities are any different or less important or less vital.

so yah ur right sorry this is a rant lmfao & once & for all.... ava is the most anti-state anti-institution character lmao. she genuinely would not give a flying fuck about her own pronouns. god doesn't fit into a pronoun anyway :)

[i-think-were-alone-n0w]

ill speak my fucking truth, the TUA s4 ending was BULLSHIT.

alright alright, i get yall's issues ab five and lila, but i also understand it to some extent.

but one thing we can all agree on is how full of plot holes, unanswered questions, and how shitty of an ending we've got. also, it was so fucking rushed! hell.

to address the ending; why the fuck? why? why would our comfort characters cease to fucking exist? in all timelines, they've fought so hard to build good lives. it was bound to be ruined, but them to fucking cease to exist? thats wild!

and alright what about the other kids with marigold? (?) there were about what, 40+(?) born, right? where are they? this cant be real.

to address some other plot holes..

ray: what do you MEAN he just.. walked out on allison? they loved each other dearly, we sidnt get a fucking explanation?

sissy, SLOANE??: what, did these characters just disappear into thin air? if ray is alive, why couldn't sissy be, too? mostly after the big part harlan played in the third season. also, where the fuck did sloane go? so ben survived, but sloane just, what? disintegrated??? turned into pure marigold? hell.

ben?: why is no one talking about him? his love story was rushed, his motives were a bit stupid (not entirely, so i could excuse this), also he just fucking died and nobody seemed to actually care? klaus had little to no reaction and he was the closest to ben? what the hell is going on?

viktor: we ve gotten none of his backstory. we see a supposedly ex gf of his at the start, and they say he s getting every girl in town. what is he, afraid of commitment? a player? not able to sort his priorities? also, how come he didn't suffer any consequence after literally sucking those particles out of ben!? i mean, his body's got a fuck ton of marigold, and in theory when coming into contact with that bs particle; he should've what, exploded!?

reggie: how and why is reggie for once, supposedly nice? until now he played a role snd at the evnd revealed a facade and it being some evil plan. this time over though, what we see is what we get. he trusted viktor, he followed up on his word, gave him time, gave him chances, called so many times, and in the end, told his wife that he wishes to save it and couldnt believe it was her behind it. so why is he no longer evil? what's up with that?

jennifer: soo why was she inside a squid? what happened to her parents? how did she get that power? why is she destined to meet ben? erremmm.. so many plot holes w her.

commision: (i might be very wrong here and not remember the past seasons, feel free correct me if im wrong.) but ure telling me, that in NO timeline the commision still exists? lila and five have managed to travel through hundreds of them over the span of 6.5 years. and all of this, none of those timelines were helpful? or.. anything at all? i wish their arc wasnt so rushed, maybe more ppl would see through it. it didnt feel like 7 years. it felt like 2 months.

diego: throughout the season we see him getting clowned on for being a "failure" and being "fat" only for him to look the same, fucking ripped too, and be normal, react like a normal person would. he was a good, hard working father and good husband with pure intentions. what was all that for?

claire: i need to see more of her. we know klaus' been sober for 3 yrs, but its been 6. which menas that claure has seen that "bad, sick" side of klaus. we see her know how to recognise that he was relapsing. i wish we saw more of her childhood, her with allison and how she got so closs to klaus.

it all was so rushed. idk ill add more if i remember more chat.

if any of you want to see me address lila and five, i've made other posts. i think their arc was important, not necessarily asked for, but justified, too. i'll folloe up with more posts and answer questions. no hate here.. js opinions:).

[gothsuguru]

HI HELLO IM BREAKING INTO UR INBOX W TEARS IN MY EYES…………… 😭😭 i just read all ur tags on my sugu fics and when i tell you i CRIED YOURE SOO??? so so SO sweet and thoughtful????? I HOPE YOUR DINNER WAS THE TASTIEST EVER bc ur tags made my whole weekend <333333 literally every single thing u said made me go YES YOU GET IT like… im just gonna mention a couple things phsjdhs IM REALLY SOSO GRATEFUL <333 

FIRST OFF just . everything u said abt my writing in general??? is soooo unbelievably kind??? T_T like abt the setting and prose and etc!!! i got soooo happy every time u said u felt like u were really There LIKE THAT MEANS SO MUCH…. ”it’s like i’m living inside your words” ARE U TRYING TO KILL ME </3 sob. thank u :’< 

and aaa im so glad u liked all three fics even though theyre a bit different!! 🥺🥺 i just rlly feel like u understood what i was trying to convey w certain characters and lines and stuff and it means soooo much??? SUGU IS A DEVOTED LOVERBOY YESYESYES U GET IT!!!!! U UNDERSTAND!!!! ”devoted” & ”intense” are the PERFECT words for him i cant tell u how much i agree. AND SOO NURTURING YES WE’RE SO LINKED he’s so mother he’s so husbandwife <333 IM JUST NODDING ALONG TO EVERYTHING U SAY like genuinely. food as love was the theme for that particular fic hehe im so glad u noticed!!! 

AAAA AND UR TAGS ON THE CHILDHOOD BESTIES FIC ……. thats probably my fave sugu fic out of the ones ive written ngl i was sooo happy to see that u liked it 😭😭😭 U GET IT U DO… like their love could be platonic or romantic but it doesnt rlly matter bc they just love each other sooo much. HE’S A GHIBLI BOY YES i’m so glad u see the vision <33

IM SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG i just need you to know that i see you and i love you and i appreciate you <3333 tysm for reading my silly lil fics and taking the time to write such thoughtful tags!!! 🥺🥺 im tucking them all away into my heart hehe. wishing u the most wonderful weekend ever !!!! mwah mwah mwah <33

OMG PLEASENDNDNDND your writing is literally SO stunning methinks you have the best rendition of suguru out there… like it’s so TELLING how much you love suguru (and satoru bc TRUST i’m gonna be in the tags of those fics too) and also i just really like how much personality you give to the reader as well! like everyone just is so fleshed out & 3-dimensional like they don’t feel like Just Characters In A Story they feel like real people & honestly magnificent writing to me always makes me feel like i’m watching a movie - and your writing does that! as i’m reading i’m envisioning everything like a movie & that’s the best compliment i can give fr <3 again it’s a testament to your beautiful dialogue, scene setting, storytelling, and YES PROSE!!!!! THAT’S THE WORD I WAS LOOKING FOR THE ENTIRE TIMENFNFNFNF your PROSE is beautiful 😭 it’s very COZY & PRETTY i love it

& OMG I WAS ABLE 2 UNDERSTAND BC YOU CONVEY EVERYTHING SO WELL!!!!! i was never confused i was Always In It <3 AND YES YOU SPOKE #REAL bc sugu is the ULTIMATE devoted loverboy… & i love how his intensity is just innate to him like he can’t help but love fully and with his whole entire mind, heart, body, & soul! and i also like how it isn’t an uncomfortable intensity or overbearing in a bad way - it’s just like a really nice weighted blanket and i LOVE that. & omg i’ve come to love food motifs so much………. whether it be hunger for something, cannibalism to get to the core of someone’s being, peeling clementines as an act of selflessness/love for someone else, or just sweet soft feeding your lover in bed bc you want them to eat well… that’s some delicious fucking food. & YESSSSSS nurturing caretaker sugu my beloved………. i think i read somewhere i forgot if it was just a random post here but someone said that suguru has such natural paternal instincts and that’s so real… like he’s mother he’s father he’s husbandwife he’s Transcended everything… the ultimate DadMom of the group… i just know his tote bag has bandaids, water, & snacks for everyone and he’s just the One you go to talk to about anything (again just like your sugu <3) OH AND ALSO i really like how devoted the reader is too! i Myself am a devoted lovergirl so i Feel seen

THE CHILDHOOD BESTIES FIC WAS SO FUCKING &/@/$/&//@/&:! why’d i get transported to a quaint town w the boy i’ve been in love since childhood and now he grew into a wondrous handsome man… trust that for Me if it involves sugu i’m immediately going romantic mode like i’m sorry i’m so Desperately In Love with him i can’t be normal <3 that fic is so fucking rich and filled w real problems that teens/ppl in their twenties face! the fear of the unknown but it feels like anything is possible and doable with someone like suguru by your side! AND YES HE IS SOOOOO HAKU-CODED TO ME (my first bf since i was a kid… coincidence? methinks not…) and also i reallllllllly love your fic of suguru going to reader’s apartment to declare war but he instead goes & has tea & cookies instead… i think i read that fic ages ago on ao3 and i could never find it again so it’s so Poetic Cinema that i found it here and that it was YOU and that you created so many more amazing fics… like i’m so well fed omfg & i’m super excited for anything you have coming out next!

AND OMG IT’S ABSOLUTELY MY PLEASURE! THANK YOU FOR CREATING SUCH BEAUTIFUL STORIES THAT I WILL KEEP TUCKED IN MY BRAIN & HEART <3 i will never forget you twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat… for as long as i live 🫡☝🏼 BUT FR!!!!! thank you for creating such wonderful premises for stories! i’m ecstatic to read anything you come out with next <3 mwah mwah mwah

^ me when reading your fics

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

HIIII MACKINTOSH goob morning,,, pd episode 11 update ASHE MOMENT hi. hi oh my god. everyone HAS to be obsessed with him right?? he has to be like a fandom favorite guy HES GOT A CURSED GRIMOIRE!!! awsome. awesome sick i love him.

REALLY chewing on all the dakota & william stuff this episode... what will said about his wisp form being kind of terrifying because he never knows if he'll really be able to return to his body... ohh man thats so good. kid who's soul is just kind of held in by a thread rattlin around in there... + also this ep was great re: the trivia point u mentioned last night ab dakota & will clashing morality!! bc yeah!!! wild that wiwi's hesitance to Torture People wasn't because of the Torturing People part but just bc he's afraid of himself... dakota just having to Leave partway through... aughh. vyncent also holy shit!! all of these guys are having such a bad time.

I LOVE ASHE oh my godd. such a specific type of alt kid i love him. type of guy i would befriend like a shy stray cat at orchestra camp after complimenting his red jumpsuit apparatus hoodie. also there HAS to be insane amounts of discourse re: wavelength (holy shit. mark. mark. shrieked at that. i feel like i cant call him that its too weirddddd) parenting methods?? there HAS to be people who r like well i can excuse the murders but i draw the line at homeschooling ur bound-to-a-demonic-book kid. yeah youre right he & tide r so divorced 2 me. single dad & single mom. why is he so intent on getting tide back hmm??!!

anyway... hghghbk. good episode i won't make this even longer & start talking ab the spirit world stuff (!!!???!!!?!!?!!) BUT i hope u r having a good dayyyyy <3333

FUCK YEAAAAAH IM SO EXCITED YOUVE FINALLY MET ASHE I LOVE HIM SOOOOO MUCH. I LOVE HIM SO VERYMUCH . AUAGHGHHH. ashe winters my boy forever... i KNEW u would like him i could feel it in my BONES. hell yes. love love love a grimoire guy :]

I CANT WAIT 2 SEND U THE TRIVIA FOR THIS EP i started writing it out at the beginning of my shift this morning and then had to go to like a billion meetings so you dont get it until i get home. but theres some TASTY behind the scenes characterization discussion. ohhh thays my favorite. esp irt dakota this ep :] i love him so much . i love all of them so much

ANYWAY. william ashamed of his powers mkment!!!! my boy he is made of catholic guilt. anyway. i fucking loved how he ghost shaped his spirit form for intimidation instead of actually using it. hes so smart hes so cool hes everything to me if i start thinking about william wisp for too long ill go fucking bonkers crazy.

MARK. MAAAAAAARK. DUDE IM SO FUCKING GLAD YOUVE FINALLY LEARNED HIS NAME BC IVE ALMOST CALLED HIM MARK IN UR NOTES SO MANY TIMES AND IVE HAD TO CORRECT MYSELF. wavelength who. this is my deadbeat dad best friend mark winters. HES NOT A DEADBEAT DAD. IM SORRY. ok ok ok. i cannot say much irt him rn but there IS a reason hes like this hes not just shitty for the sake of it. he does care very much hes just bad at it. uhhhhhhghdgdgdgggdgdrrrghg i love him. a lot . #1 mark winters apologist blog right here. im not even sorry. luckily..luckily i have not seen the discorse about him yet but i know its out there somewhwre. sigh.

u know whats funny. youll hear this a little bit but its mostly in the bts stuff. grizzly fucking HATES mark. and that bleeds into how he plays dakota which makes sense but its SO FUNNY in the rolleds just how much he gets mad at mark. which !!! understandable he sucks hes terrible. but im built different i love him.

AND TIIIIIIIIDE. hey. hey remember when william was interrogating mark the first time. in the holding cell. and he tried to use a ghost shaped tide at first but mark called bullshit right away because "tide's never spoken to me like that before" hey . fellas.

[yuukei-yikes]

kind of a specific random question but do you think theres a possibility that shintaros the first one to try and stop being so attached to takane. like one day takane is all haha hey do you need me for anything then shin goes well uhhh- actually no its okay. takane goes what no you arent let me help you with something COME ON

ive drawn this before. so yes i do (from here)

YA i totally think it's like this AT FIRST. takane is totally shamelessly clinging to shintaro and shintaro's like GET. OFF. MEEEE!!!!! and takane's in his room like carpet she's a fucking parasite roach infestation of 1.

like immediate post str i picture this bitch just sleeping over every single day stealing all his clothes and shintaro's like COME ON. i love how in the novels shintaro dresses in front of ene and no one gives a shit in fact ene is like YOU LOOK SO HANDSOME UR SUCH A MAN'S MAN like. when takane has her body back shintaro's like at least get out WHILE I GET DRESSED!! and takane's totally unbothered like whaaaa im not even looking and u never seemed to care to dress in front of me as ene whatever dude. shintaro seething. he's like this sucks she's right ive been getting dressed in front of her the whole time. also takane changes his nasty bed sheets bc she also sleeps in his bed. literally existing symbiotically. srry they're so close and have no privacy i need u to understand.

shintaro acts incredibly grumpy about it and is actively kicking her out daily but takane never seems to get mad at all and if anything she's just pathetically begging him to stayyyy pleaseeeeee u must need me for SOMETHINGGGGGG and shintaro. while yes he is like NO GET OUT also come on. he's so weak if someone especially someone girl coded flutters their eyelashes at him he immediately just goes YEAH ALRIGHT...haruka ayano or takane can all just flutter their eyelashes and shintaro will do anything they say its hilarious.

we've seen ene do this and while shintaro manages to stay strong i think post str he's very weak to takane because he's so guilty over route xxx so sometimes he just gives her whatever she wants out of guilt. like retaining is shintaro's big demise if it wasn't for it maybe he would've been able to just set his foot down and force takane to grow out of her unhealthy attachment.

but noooo... he starts enabling/reciprocating her behavior LOL!!!! like it's indeed takane the one to start the dynamic. she's always been the most attached of the 2. but shintaro is so guilty over the bad route and realises she's always been here even in all other routes. by just saying ugh yes whatever at everything she says he is accidentally becoming part of the unhealthy attachment. i think at first while he WAS attached it wasn't to the point takane drives it. and since she was shameless and pathetic abt it like not hiding it at all that's why he's unconscious it goes both ways bc he's like well ive been acting all grumpy abt it obviously its not me its her!!! but he doesn't realise that as time went on he started liking the dynamic bc its comfy LOL and takane is good company and they love each other ok. hold me im gonna pass out.

this is so early on post str. while takane still struggles with stopping resorting to opening eyes whenever anything gets uncomfortable and while shintaro is still sort of processing all timelines and how he feels about them and stuff. u know me i love flipping dynamics thats why eventually its shintaro following takane while she's like ermmm erm ermmm bc she's been healing while shintaro's been going downhill.

ALSO i think shintaro's mom "knew" of ene. like SHE DOESNT but shintaro was constantly talking to himself in his room so she asks if he's calling with anyone?? shintaro's like ERM...ERMM... YEAH... ITS AN ONLINE FRIEND.... so shintaro's mom is like omg this is THAT friend who was with him while he was all depressed in his room!!! so ratio + shintaro's mom loves takane and since she's always staying over keeps asking if they're dating and is very confused that they say no and neither is EVER flustered they're just like no we aren't 😐 also if shinaya are dating and kisaragi mom knows she probably talks to shintaro like Hey isnt this weird u have a gf and u seem to spend most of ur time with someone else. and shintaro's like UGHHHHH STOPPP ANNOYING MEEE!!! and like momo, kisaragi mom is also sorta scared of approaching shintaro in fear of scaring him away now that he's out and about. so she's like erm okay (still watches from afar)

sorry for going crazy abt shintaro & takane again. they drive me so crazies. they love each other ur honor and its so fucked up

[codecicle]

HELLO !!!! Wondering what. Ur favourite video game is rn. And persnaps🦀 things in it u enjoy ??? (*^_^*)

OHHHHH THANK YOU FOR THIS I GET AN EXCUSE TO TALK ABOUT SUBNAUTICA >:DDDD

Subnautica and Subnautica: Below Zero will be my favorite set of games forever and ever man. Mentally I'm still there and I will never leave those games gave me my passion for both robotics and deep-sea travel/creatures in real life its what made me as insane as I am today ^_^

The Reaper leviathans (and all the leviathans in the game for that matter. reefbacks are peak fuck the haters 🔥🔥) always have a little compartment in my brain and I will never shut up about their design and how effective they are when it comes to horror. The way they're introduced AFTER the player runs into the completely friendly reefbacks so their fear of "loud noise/big = bad" is subdued and broken down so their guard is lowered right before entering the dunes and feeling true primal fear for the first time apon seeing them is just executed SO perfectly I've never seen something come even close to comparing. I wouldn't say they're my favorite thing across BOTH games though because oh my goddd that spot is definitely reserved for AL-AN

Him and his whole planet will forever live in my head rent-free (both because I'm not a landlord LMAO and also. Insane about him disease) every little detail about him makes me so insane. The fact that his species is mainly robotic and mechanical so he doesn't understand a majority of Robin's feelings and experiences that she's been through, the way they built apon the original virus on 4546B by explaining the way it showed up and mutated to annihilate every species on that planet was BECAUSE of the very architects that meant to protect it. Them having to build the original quarantine system that crashed Riley's ship (The Aurora) because their bodies weren't entirely mechanical, and all of their biological components were made out of the most efficient and compatible parts of 40-ish species which means once they caught the original disease, every other species that they pulled from could now get it. That only makes them trapping the Emperor Leviathan so much sadder because they didn't realize she could communicate with them and actually give them what the whole planet so desperately needed because they talk through entirely closed off mental frequencies, so even their bio components couldn't let her talk to them. AL-AN being one of the few to try and go against the current and felt bad about what they were doing to the queen is just so in character for him, especially with how he acts to all "lower" lifeforms that Robin runs into. Him being cut off from his entire family and neural-link is just so fucking devastating and him finding that comfort and connection through Robin, going so far as to rescue her and take her off-planet with him once she builds his body will NEVERR leave me man godd what an ending

Speaking of his body, I've gotta say it's the single coolest alien design I've ever fuckin seen. Look at this shit

like oh my god??? what the fuck right??? everything about it makes me so insane. NOT TO MENTION this concept art (which IS his final design btw just not 3d rendered yet) is made by Pat Presley, who also ended up making concept art for all the other Archetects that we haven't met yet and will meet in Subnautica 3 (whenever the fuck that will begin development LMAO)

like look at how different they are from him. how much more mechanical and less colorful, more hivemind-esque and lifeless they seem. even just down to the pose he's standing in gives off so much more life than they do and it makes me INSANEEEEE his time with Robin absolutely changed him and his physical form reflects that. He is such a combination of all the other archetects while also being NOTHING like them at the same time. The fact that he is literally able to move and change the shape of his arms and be fluid the same way he is fluid and willing to change unlike all of those on his home planet is crazy to me.

Speaking of his home planet too, it's also sick as fuck and I just need to show this finale screenshot real quick because oh my GODDDD I'm losing it. You have no idea how hyped I was to watch this shit when the full game released

AND ONE MORE THING!!! speakkkinnggg of the full-game release, the game actually released in beta testing with a different opening than the final version!! and in the beta testing, you started out in the final area where the finale takes place in the final release version. Visiting that old station again at the very end of the game feels like such a nice nod to the beta-testers that feels perfectly planned out. It really makes the game come full circle, even if you don't have the context of the beta testing version to appreciate.

Subnautica is (either story or gameplay-wise) probably the objectively better game imo, but Below Zero holds such a special place in my heart for the AL-AN story line alone. Godd he makes me so insane I love him sm <3 <3 rant over thank you for the ask

[eldritch-spouse]

Hmm I think neomorphs would understand bonds and maybe could bond w humans?? I also think they *could* be smart enuf to understand human culture

Like imagine ur horny and u start shedding ur clothes and the neomorph immediately knows exactly what u want

I think I heard u say this abt breg in one of ur fics, but they would def also make low noises to comfort a mate bc I imagine them as very territorial

I also feel like they could have have a crush on a human if said human took care of them(or they just find them mate worthy) so they try to pursue u.. I remember one scene in a movie where rhe neomorph just stood quietly infront of a human (b4 getting killed oop) literally towering over them.. if I was there and had it staring at me like that I’d feel some romantic tension

Yes, that's what I was hinting at with this ask.

To me, I believe their ability to form bonds outside the species would stem more from the fact that they're the "blank slate" before David 8 starts fucking with them to make the xenomorphs we know. But take what I say with a grain of salt, I'm rusty on Alien lore. Anyhow, I don't think David could have made xenmorphs into such a social/colony-based species if the neomorphs themselves didn't already have some level of surprising social adaptability.

The scene you're mentioning is a tad dubious because the person standing in front of the neomorph was David, who is a synth. Xenomorphs can tell a human apart from a synth, so I'm keen to believe neos can do the same, and they might have hesitated purely out of morbid curiosity. It could also just be the fact that the neomorph had recently eaten, and therefore might not have had as much of a violent drive at the moment. Though the way they reacted inquisitively to David's exhale, as opposed to violently, is a good start.

My idea with that comic was to explore that hypothetical bond a little bit more, this time in a setting where you meet one in a premature stage and experiment with the possible outcomes of raising one of these beings (which makes absolutely no sense from a realistic point of view, but all my brain cells were effectively shut off when I sketched it). You're under the impression his obsession with you is typical of pack behavior, and to a degree it is, but you mean more to him. And that only sinks in when it's already too late to do anything about it. Now, I'm a yandere blog primarily, so of course the neomorph was implied yandere in that comic.

The bond implies that he'll get to know your body through scents and gestures. Just as he'll be able to decipher your intent from the tone of your voice and you'll pick up on the different meanings of his vocalizations. It's a learning curve, but they're very fast learners and extremely adaptive, so you might "synchronize" much faster than expected. Naturally, this would definitely lead to him understanding what abrupt stripping means, or if nothing else, gouge your arousal through some sort of scent stimulus. Mimicry is likely to happen at some point, wherein the neomorph will attempt to reproduce your own sexual gestures in an attempt to behave more like you and further erase any sort of communication barrier.

When it comes to noises, I haven't really thought about it too much, but I like to imagine they might be capable of differently pitched rumbles, judging from that same scene where they interact with David. Not all of their high-pitched vocalizations might be born of hostility/fear/alarm, but if they're quiet around you it's probably a good sign.

I'm on the fence about them being territorial. I can see neos being protective, but I just haven't seen enough to determine if they'd stick to one place and become attached to it.

[helmarok]

me & my friendgroup were hoping ganon would get more backstory and humanization in totk for the entire time since the sequel was announced :( the idea that he might get revived was so exciting. i didnt think it would happen but i hoped for a sequel where youd switch between link and zelda at different points- zelda being more lore and archaeology/exploration focused so youd learn more about ganon and the events causing the calamity and how to stop future ones as you also tried to understand why he was so enraged and what exactly happened to him and link engaging in direct dialogue and confrontation with ganon so the player can see his pain and character depth. the game wouldve been more about defeating the calamity possessing him vs ganon himself being bad and acknowledging that hyrule never really tried that route which lead to the constant devastation...sorry for rambling but tldr i feel you 🫡 ur ganons strongest soldier

literally this entire ask. i don't know why i had my hopes up cuz now i'm disappointed over something that was gonna happen anyways... i just wish that after throwing in the excuse of "oh well we use the same formula over and over because DEMISE'S CURSE causes hatred to reincarnate!" they actually built upon that, but they only focus on how the curse affects the chosen hero and zelda. like they never actually go into how the curse affects the man who is born asab (assigned satan at birth 😢)

heres what i think under the cut if youre interested, it's kind of a long story so whatever

my personal hesdcanon completely and totally disregarding anything totk says is that hylia chose ganondorf to be her hero. she chose him and the 'calamity' wasn't actually ganondorf himself based on the more lizard-like appearance of it in the tapestry: it was demise, hence the reason why it not only took a hero and princess but the divine beasts as well.

based on his outfit in the original trailer, i think he was invited to the castle. but while he went dressed his best, it was a trap. throughout his time as hero the kingdom questioned it because of their awful history. after defeating the calamity, ganon was invited for dinner and was betrayed. being poisoned by people he loves and cared about who he thought cared about him but their generational hatred just... led to this.

it broke his heart when they broke his trust because the male gerudo 'king of evil' could never be our chosen hero, the symbol of courage in the kingdom. he's the bad guy, and always will be even if it's a different man from the one in OOT and TP entirely. his broken heart turned into anger and rage while he was coughing and dying at the table as people he cared for watched it happen. his eyes turned red, his mane and tusks grew and his triforce shined. when he tried to grab the sword it burned his hand. hatred took over and changed him- keep in mind that demise's entire being relies on the existence of hatred. with so much hate in his heart the demon was able to grab ahold of it and use that as a second chance to win.

nobody could stop him but the princess, who did with hylia's help. his body and spirit was sealed under the castle before it got too bad. but over time, the betrayal ganon felt had 10k years to brew and demise used it to his advantage. ganon's hurt combined with demise's raw energy- malice- created what we see in botw as that ugly beast calamity ganon.

now here's my favorite part! everyone had to have wondered why the fuck hylia wasn't willing to help zelda this time around when zelda was unable to use the powers in her blood that her mom could use, and hylia never bothered to help her awaken them. well the reason for this is because hylia felt betrayed by her people. her people were so full of hatred that they tried to murder the hero SHE chose! not only that, but after ganon's murder, the sheikah strongly opposed, which led to what you can see in the tapestry- sheikah being pushed by guards, and then the game tells us their technology was destroyed and sealed away.

as punishment for the problems her children were causing, she decided to abandon them. they would get no help from her. no prayers would be answered, no assistance with light magic- they were on their own now. there wouldn't even be a chosen hero- link was actually chosen by fi when fi knew a hero had to come but hylia wasn't going to bother.

hylia only decided to step up after she felt sorry for zelda. when zelda prayed and begged her she ignored her until the hero died and she felt her child's pain. she finally decided to be a mom and make zelda's powers fucking explode. zelda walked into that castle and sealed the demon the best she could without the assistance of a hero. from then on after a hundred years, hyrule basically accepted the flying boar demon cloud over the castle as part of their life along with corrupted guardians and such.

basically i think ganon's story was about hatred and betrayal and that the reason calamity ganon is so insanely powerful, and the reason he takes on a more demonic form not made of flesh but physical hatred, is because of how much it hurt him. he is hurt and hatred took advantage of that.

demise's easy control of ganondorf is kind of a nod at how you'll see that hurt people can often get easily taken over by hatred. a wife who is cheated on might kill her husband. a trans man who has suffered his whole life might bully trans men who are happy. a victim of misogynistic culture might be manipulated by others into becoming a terf. it's sad how easily hate can take over hurt people.

for the hylians, it's how for generations their kingdom was destroyed by a ganon, so they can't think of him as anything other than a threat even if he is a good man.

so yeah, there's my ganondorf take. he's just some guy who is stuck in a cycle and i wish nintendo would stop acting like hyrule is a perfect kingdom and the royal family has no flaws because theyre the Goddess Children when time and time again there's been hints in the games at their treatment of others, especially the sheikah. basically what i want is for them to give their special little good guys and special little race of blue eyed bitches some more depth instead of just being like "theyre good and nothing more because they're the Good Guys so they can't do anything wrong and opposers like ganon are the Bad Guys". cuz it's 2023 and we deserve more advanced stories than "hero and princess defeat the big bad evil and save the day!"

[birb-boyo]

It wasnt that it SOUNDED ableist, it literally WAS ableist. ??? everyone can see that so why arent you apologizing for an ABLEIST COMMENT?

but anyways if ur not part of our "little group" then fuck off the pall blog please nobody wants u there. and its not throwing a tantrum to be upset about ableism wtf? You and moss suck at communicating, for people who LOVE to preach it to others. ur made for eachother lmfao. and moss is only friends with you becuase they dont want to lose another friend.

"what Shade did is on them. Not me. I dont wanna fuck up more friendships and fall apart more with them" - moss

You know what. I guess I’ll answer this.

Shiver me timbers. I don’t care if Moss said it or not because if those words really mattered as much as you make them out to, you probably would’ve just sent me the picture of it the second they sent it to you. But no. You want to use it as a way of getting to me. Huh

Now I guess it’s time to pull up the dictionary guys

“Discrimination in favor of able-bodied people”

Now, what I said, after misreading something, was, if I remember correctly, “I may have caught dyslexia” and I actually do believe that I apologized because Jay took it personally but anyway-

Where in “I may have caught dyslexia” am I making fun of or degrading a nonable-bodied person?

Maybe if I said something like, “I caught your dyslexia,” I could see why you would call me ableist, but I didn’t say anything like that.

Also, here’s another thing. My sister has dyslexia. We bond over her dyslexia. You know, with me being a writer, I know what word she’s looking for or what word she can’t read. I’m not a stranger to dyslexia, even if I don’t have it. I couldn’t count how many times I said a word terribly wrong and my sister followed it up with some joke about me having dyslexia too. I know I don’t. We both do. That’s another thing. No body knows anyone else’s background.

For example, I was whopped when I was younger. By getting whooped, I learned how to act right. It’s discipline. But people outside would look at me horrified if I told them that I used to get whooped. That’s because they don’t understand.

Now, if we could stop throwing around “Shade is an ableist,” I’d appreciate it. Or keep saying it. I know I’m not an ableist

And when I said that you’re throwing a tantrum, it was because of how sudden all of this “this u messager boy” stuff was. You would’ve had to think about making a whole random account. So, thanks for committing that time to make a new blog just to send me stuff about what happened early January.

I also feel like staying on the blog just to spite you all ngl🤷‍♂️

[kriegborderlands-moved]

Pretty lame move on ur bf's part to assume I'm fetishizing fatness and then when I stand up for myself, replying to and blocking me before I have a chance to respond. I didn't even get to read his response, I saw the notif on my phone and opened it up and his comments are gone and I can't find his account. If he assumes everyone means him harm and then blocks them before they can explain themselves they are forever cemented in his mind as being harmful which will just lead to him thinking that more and more people mean him harm and he will live out a sad, lonely and terrified existence. For his sake I hope he cultivates a thicker skin as it's is important to living. Being able to be uncomfortable but still open to people and ideas is imperative to learning stuff from others. For my part, I was joking about love handles because I think it's funny to not know parts of the body with weird names that are often critisized and used to shame people. I didn't know what hip dips were until I was 19. I knew that love handles were something in the lower torso to upper thigh region but I wasn't sure until you told me today. I pride myself on not having much body issues (appart from gender things) and very consiously not judging people on their bodies. I genuinely don't understand how he got fetishization or thinking fatness is dirty from me joking about not knowing the meaning of a word.

I'd actually love to be told how what I said was interpretted that way, so I can avoid from doing something similar in the future. So if you or he want to tell me I'd genuinely really appreciate it. I like learning and I don't like hurting people's feelings.

That's literally all I asked for, to know what went wrong for my message to be misinterpretted. The heart might have come across as sarcastic, but I was trying to mimic the energy of his reply.

Sorry if this is an overwhelming text wall, I just get really upset when this happens because I don't know what I did wrong and I want to be more informed but people just block me and I have no way to stop feeling like I'm secretly a bad person and just don't know it. Also the first paragraph is kind of meanly worded, it was the first thing I wrote and I was still really mad. I reworked some of it to not be as mean but I still believe in the point I was trying to make.

first of all never put an essay this big in my ask box again. i’m dead serious i will just block anyone else who does this because i have a life and shit to do and do not want to spend my time on internet arguments.

secondly, it was a positivity post about something that is frequently insulted and belittled. just google love handles and see what comes up. REALLY not the time to make jokes.

my boyfriend states “Tell them that like. I’ve been antagonized enough so the whole “sh sh sh I don’t want to know” came across as if talking about fatness was something that had to be silenced because it was taboo or was being treated like it was some disgusting kink that had to be shielded from the public’s eyes.”

third, you’re insulting my boyfriend (whether you realize it or not) so if youre expecting me to just calmly approach this, youre dead wrong. speaking of which, really interesting that you’re saying my bf needs a thicker skin when he’s been subject to fatphobia his entire life, and then when he blocks you you send me this.

this is in fact a really weird thing to send someone. my bf can block whoever the fuck he wants and thats his business alone. and if you feel guilty about it that is not his or my problem. quite frankly the only emotion i feel right now is annoyance. i am not interested in continuing this conversation further

[mogai-sunflowers]

I NEEDED TO HEAR THIS SO MUCH. I am an autistic person and honestly, I felt like an idiot for many years for not being able to understand most things. Like, it's hard to research, I know the basics but everyone seems to know everything and I feel like I don't even have the right to have an opinion on the subject because I literally don't know every detail of it, EXCEPTIONALLY political.

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! like i've seen so many people be blatantly fucking ableist and acting like intensely academic political posts are just automatically easy to understand. i try so hard to understand nuanced social dynamics surrounding things like gender, race, disability, i try SO HARD!!! but i get it wrong so much because i genuinely can't understand many things that most people understand. i never mean to offend anyone or anything but come on, people need to understand that you don't have to be good at language, social cues, socializing, or political stuff to still give a crap about social justice. i'm absolutely terrified of ever mentioning my autism in relation to this because i'm sure i'd get a hundred messages telling me i'm weaponizing my neurodivergence to avoid accountability but the thing is, whenever i make a mistake, sometimes it IS because of my autism! autistic people are allowed to make mistakes and discuss why they made it being their autism. it's not inherently wrong to bring up connections between mistakes you've made and the way they were impacted by your autism. i would never be like "omg i'm incapable of doing anything wrong because im autistic so if you criticize me ur ableist" and i feel like that's how people see autistics. we're either perfect at everything and beyond criticism, or we're babies who just use our autism to avoid accountability. and don't get me wrong, that's something people do. there are absolutely white autistics who use their autism to avoid accountability for being racist, cis/straight autistics who use their autism to avoid accountability for being queerphobic, etc. but that doesn't mean that it's always for that reason. there have been times when i've said something inappropriate race and queer-wise because i didn't understand a particular social context that is literally impossible for me to understand. i apologized for what i said/did, but people were angrier at the fact that i didn't understand a social norm than they were at the fact that i acted inappropriately. it shows that people care so much more about the aesthetics of social justice than about actually giving a fuck about the people they claim to support.

another thing that drives me up a wall is when someone offers a public apology for something they did, and literally everyone breaks down every part of the apology to try and "prove" that the person didn't mean it and was just trying to escape being called out. because literally all of that seemingly sound "analysis" is literally just "did they say the right thing for this social situation" which is literally fucking hard and sometimes impossible for neurodivergent and specifically autistic people. social justice has been my biggest passion since i was literally 5 but somehow i feel less valuable and like a horrible person just because i don't always know how to express it and it's so tiring to feel like i don't belong in a place that is supposed to care about me. other things factor into it too, like i feel isolated from social justice spaces because of my queerness and body too, but a lot of it is my autism that makes it so hard. also the way so many social justice posts are like. long ass posts with no tldrs is like. fucking impossible for me to read but then people are like "you can't even read a post this proves you don't care about people" i fucking hate it. sorry for ranting anon i just feel you so much. if you ever need any help understanding something or need support or to rant or anything i'm always here, cuz this is seriously frustrating. but i can promise you that you're not bad for not understanding some things. you deserve to feel free in having your own opinions and beliefs and no one should feel they have the right to make you feel any different.

TLDR: Not everyone understands social nuances as easily as others. Not everyone has the ability to always discern what is appropriate for every social context. Autistic people can bring up their autism and how it impacts them without it being them trying to escape accountability. Autism is not shameful, and these things are natural, not bad. We still deserve love and acceptance in leftist spaces. Please respect us.