#fuckedupfamily

[skinnyblogsworld123]

I know that nobody reads these but here I go

.

.

10/27/2022

.

So I've been overeating lately a lot and I mean a lot. It's 5:18 in the evening right now. And I've ate chips and salsa and I've drank a rainbow machine smoothie and a watermelon aloe vera drink. And my stomach feels full already but it's like there's something else inside of me that just tells me that I need to eat more and it makes me f****** miserable. And I don't know how to stop it. It's like a never ending cycle and it makes me want to literally kill myself. And nobody understands how bad my eating disorder is because nobody really pays attention to that s*** anymore. They don't take our Eating Disorders seriously whether you're an anorexic or bulimic. And it makes me so angry because eating disorders are one of the world's most leading causes of death and depression. Along with a bunch of other things.

And we're being evicted from our apartment. Because my grandmother does know how to pay her f****** rent. We had this rental assistance helping us pay rent but she hadn't been checking up on that making sure that they were actually paying our rent. And so now we're Skyping money I'm using all of my paycheck to buy s*** for the house. And my fiance just got his job he's been working this is his second day now. I mean me and my fiance are only 19 years old and we're having to help my mother try and find a place as soon as we can. Because my grandmother sure as hell is not owning a house for we are all living in it because she already holds this apartment over our heads because she's the one who pays the rent on it and owns it. We don't. So now that we're being evicted because of her I'm pretty sure we have less than like 2 weeks to get all of our s*** moved out of here. And we don't even have a car anymore because the bottom ball joint on the front passenger side went out on me as I was driving and it skidded across the road and made white streaks across the black top. I mean guys I'm struggling so hard right now. To be honest all I care about right now is losing weight so that I can make myself feel better. I want to focus on myself and make sure that I have enough money to do what I want to do. I have $130 in savings right now and I hope that it stays there but if I have to use it then I will because situations have called for using money out of my savings but I have to be careful about transferring it because I only get certain amounts before they won't let me transfer it anymore. What I mean by transfer is that I have to take it out of my savings and put it back into my checking account through the app that my bank goes through. And right now my fiance doesn't get off work until 10:00 tonight so I got to figure out what I'm going to be doing. My mom is supposed to be back here before 6:00 because I have to go to urgent care so I can get a doctor's excuse for missing work today.

I mean f*** this is the most amount of struggle that I have had to deal with in a long while. I mean I'm already past 200 lb. I weigh like 240 pounds. And it f****** kills me of how fat I look and how fat I feel that all of my fat just Jiggles every time I walk or when my fiance tries to do the deed with me. And I can't get into it because I'm focused about how I look. It literally murders my soul inside out every single day. That I Can't Get Enough control to just stop. I mean I even told my mom to pick me up a burger from McDonald's. It's the Daily Double with no cheese add mustard and ketchup, because I'm lactose intolerant basically I have a milk allergy so I can't really have any dairy products which is really sad since I've drink milk my entire life. I honestly really f****** ate myself I feel like I could do so much better in life but if I wasn't so fat I feel like I could do so much more without being shy and I could be confident with myself and I can do what I need to do to get s*** done.

[beautifulnaturefreak]

some chrismas trauma thoughts 4 u lolz

[marlowe1-blog]

“Goodbye My Brother” (The Collected Stories of John Cheever)

So this was the first story I read in this collection and I read it well before I chose to make a project out of this book. I will have to apologize for the fact that I don’t remember it that well. Also I found it rather tedious. More importantly I found the characters tedious.

The little brother that does not want anything to do with the family - he’s great. He’s not the center of the narrative but he doesn’t drink and he doesn’t care about the New England family where he came from. So while his brother and mother and sister(?) are drinking it up, he’s being smug. As anyone would be if they actually had to deal with this family of rich tedious drunks. 

Was there a sister? I don’t remember if there was a sister. Ok. So anyone looking to use this blog as cliff notes for their John Cheever reading project, you can just tell me if there was a sister. And then don’t use this. 

Anyhow the narrator hits his brother on the head with a rock. Only the brother is not really saying much. 

I suppose I should have more to say about this since I just did a bunch of processing in the past year about my toxic famliy. Like I have a cousin that I still talk to but I don’t feel like calling her (even though she’s had a hard few months) because I don’t want to hear an anti-Fauci rant. And she praised the Italian fascist woman. And then there’s my other two cousins - one kind of reached out when my mother died and the other one is an Alex Jones fan whose mother is a total rightwing Xian bitch. 

I guess I was working with all the baggage from my mom trying to make me the center of her universe and never giving me any proper boundaries except the boundaries that I fought to maintain. And this has ruined a great many of my adult relationships. It’s rather strange thinking that ultimatley my Alex Jones spouting cousin could have been my story. He’s living at home with his mom even though he’s a full grown adult and he searches for conspiracy theories because they make him feel like he’s smart and accomplished and not a loser whose other escape plan was crystal meth. 

So I suppose I was already eager to hate the family on behalf of the brother who gets his head knocked in, but my family is white trash (there are some cool second and third cousins) descended from a Hungarian madame. While we have our share of drunks, it’s not the polite New England drunks. 

Anyhow, that’s my take on the first story. I did not think that I would keep going. 

patreon.com/timlieder

[tumbir-legacies-prized]

THOSE EXPLOIT MY SSI AND OTHER QUALIFIES NOT DOING DAMN THING BEING REALLY ANY BODY MY CATS!

#fuckedupfamily#nobodiesneighbors

[sssssss777sssssss]

My whole fucking family except my brother were RIGHT OUTSIDE MY DOOR when I did this just a minute ago :c

[lifeisntinteresting-blog1]

What to expect...

You’ll see dumb shit. Stories about my funnier friends,family, how I embarrass myself on the daily, and probably alot about the guys and girls in my life. Memes. 

[neilfresco]

Fucked up family

Why is everyone the way they are, a few days ago my ex girl told me that once when she was having a psychedelic experience along with her friends and her cousins. Her brother got so high that he asked her if he could touch her boobs, I mean WTF just happened , and what did i just listen. Like how can someone ever do that. That's ur sister. You should never have feeling like that for your sister in the first place. She was flipped and literally left the room after that moment. And u know what the worst part about all this is that her brother is one of my friends who hangs out with us all the time. I could have never imagined this about him. They say don't judge a book by its cover is so fucking damn true.

[dwhiggi]

Storytime

On leave in Alabama visiting family (from Tennessee) and holy fucking shit. My mom literally just said, “I don’t see anything wrong with slavery except when they beat or hung em’.” I don’t even know what to think about her saying that or my step dad agreeing... except that I’m so disgusted right now, and everything I said against them they “justified” their reasoning with bullshit excuses/ made up fucking dumb statistical statements that make ZERO FUCKING SENSE. Idk who to talk to right now, just needed to tell someone.

[nyborbwerdna]

This is meant for many of my loved ones. . Follow @nyborbwerdna and please support me through Patreon, link in bio. . . . . . #christmas #merrychristmas #holidaycheer #christmasfamily #intergenerationaltrauma #fuckedupfamily #fuckedup #parenting #lifelessons #lifequotes #lie #religion #organizedreligion #comicsofinstagram #cartoonsofinstagram #torontocomics #torontocartoonist #dailycomic #webcomic #canadiancomics #webtoon #comix #instacomics #comicsofinsta #comicdrawing #comicsketch #comicmemes (at Toronto, Ontario) https://www.instagram.com/p/B5vinZ_Al-_/?igshid=kfzn7hliegqk

[living-in-fallen-society]

biologically connected; emotionally..not

you know, i always thought i was the lucky one. I never had to deal with which parent im gonna be staying with for the weekend or having to figure out who i “rightfully belong” to. I was always told, “well at least you have a dad.” You’re right, at least I have a dad but that doesn’t necessarily mean I have a father. It’s actually quite easy being a dad. All you really have to do is get a girl pregnant and VIOLA! You’re a fucking dad. But guess what, that doesn’t make you a father. A father sets an example for his children. Protects them. Loves them unconditionally. He is one of the main pillars and foundation of a family. Things that my dad is not. Growing up, I didn’t really recognize my mom. My mom to me was a video camera. Dad always video taped us and sent it to my mom. So i guess you could say my dad was the only one that i felt that i had a connection to. After all, I am daddy’s little girl...or was. I only recently knew about my dad’s backstabbing affairs and ever since then, nothing changed. You know, it hurts quite a lot knowing that you don’t mean anything to your dad. The person that was supposed to protect you was someone who hurt you and your family the most. And it sucks. I cry about it to this day. It’s absolutely amazing that he rather be a fuck up that he is now than help us and help himself. He doesn’t wanna change and that’s the thing. He rather does everything that he’s doing right now than be with us. In some point, where did everything go wrong? Where along the road did it fuck up? Why isn’t my mother enough? Why aren’t we enough? There’s a lot of parents out there, fathers out there, who is fighting for his family...why can’t you? There are families out there without a man of the house. There are children out there without a father figure. You’re there but at the same time, you’re not. At some point, where did everything turn to a living hell? And this bullshit of yours needs to stop, pretending to be part of a happy family. You ruined that yourself. We are biologically connected but we’re nothing close to being emotionally connected anymore. You are my dad but you are NOT my father. 

[sp00kypanda82]

"I think we just picked up Dracula." - Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) #texaschainsawmassacre #tobehooper #leatherface #1974 #marilynburns #gunnarhansen #vhs #horrorvhs #horrorvhscollection #horrorvhscollector #horrorcollector #horrorcollection #vhsforever #bekindrewind #tapehead #feedyourvcr #horrorobsessed #horrorislife #horrorfiend #horrorfan #horrornerd #horrorgeek #horrorlover #chainsaw #70shorror #horrorflicks #cinephile #horrorjunkie #sawyerfamilybbq #fuckedupfamily https://www.instagram.com/p/CDzdn24FryE/?igshid=qotim5bx2o2w

[mrspteranodon]

So, one of the things I see online a lot is about how much addiction is caused by trauma versus how much it is hereditary.

My opinion, this is almost impossible to tease out.

Trauma definitely fuels addiction. Heredity likely does play a part, but that's where it gets complicated. Much like genes are passed down from parents to children, so is trauma. If your parents didn't know how to cope with their trauma and turned to substances, and they didn't know how to parent in a healthy way, you're likely to have trauma.

Now some people (I'd say more people than in the past luckily) are learning that they need to overcome their trauma in order to be functional people and functional parents. That's not everyone though, and historically I'd say it's not been most people. Now your parents, grandparents, however long going back, their trauma is just rolling down the generations.

But wait, you say, "what about skipped generations, where you have someone who isn't addicted to substances, but maybe their kids or grandkids are. Aha. It has to be hereditary." (Idk if other families have this, where the odd one out isn't the one addicted to substances but is the one who isn't).

That might be true. But it might not be. That particular generation isn't addicted to substances, so they didn't pass on trauma to their kids and all's good, right?

Nope. There are unhealthy ways of dealing with trauma that involve no healing, and you'll still pass your junk trauma onto your children in a different way. There's hording, gambling, shopping, sex, work, all sorts of escapes that can end up with similar results as substance addiction. However, often people with those issues will outwardly appear to be mentally healthy humans. They still generally impact their families and you can pass on trauma even without passing on your brand of addiction.

This is a bit simplified. I could go on for days on this subject.

sources: a product of generational trauma who never got addicted to substances, but sure as hell have wrestled my own unhealthy coping mechanisms.

[tumbir-legacies-prized]

CRAZY LIKE TO KEEP CROWD IN CHAINS

#fuckedupfamily#noisynobodiesneighbors

[manofallsorts-blog]

#incestwithaunt #fuckedupchildhood #trauma #drama #fuckedupfamily #wordsofanincestmind #incestinfection #discoveringsexuality #confession #madness #manofallsorts

[absolutelynoparking]

Don’t, you, fuck with my energy. I will lift this curse. I’ll fight till apocalypse to lift this curse. Of being stones. In this family. Magic is warm like the afternoon sun. Magic is soft like a baby’s kiss. Magic is the kind of love you long for. #curseinfamily #fuckedupfamily #castingspells #healing

[ketaminekendra]

so like

I found out a few months ago that the brother I was pretty sure I had is for sure my brother

and like

it’s been great, honestly. 

we’ve gotten really close even though he lives almost two thousand miles away.

the problem is that he’s not a legitimate sibling

so I’m super close to him but can’t actually admit it except to very select people in my family and people that don’t know my family at all. 

it’s just... 

it’s weird. 

but good god I love that guy.