#fucking sucks my dude

[thedemonsurfer]

the frustrating thing about about the Mental Eelness-- ADHD in my case, though I'm dead certain every neurodivergent person out there will have their own similar feelings-- is that I can be as kind and forgiving and understanding of myself as I want... but it doesn't? Change anything?

I can understand that poor time management skills is a result of my brain not being very good at estimating, but I still got fired from two jobs for being late a lot.

I can recognize that I have a hard time regulating my emotions when upset, and I'm trying to get better about putting myself in time out when I recognize what's happening, but there's still a couple of people that I was friends with for nearly a decade that won't talk to me anymore.

I can acknowledge that I have bad object permanence, that executive dysfunction makes starting important tasks feel like trying to climb a sheer wall, that my brain seeks out quick and easy shots of dopamine because it doesn't produce enough of its own-- but that doesn't really change anything.

All the understanding and forgiveness in the world doesn't make low payoff tasks any less painful and difficult than eating glass.

It's great that I know I'm not stupid or a failure, don't get me wrong. Modern society is already an enemy, I don't need to make myself into one more. I'm on medication and I'm old enough to have developed some strategies in the struggle against my own brain. But it's always going to be this difficult.

It's the first day of consciously starting a new habit, only it's every day, over and over. There is no routine that will develop. There is no schedule that I won't have to fight myself to stick to. I'm always going to have to force myself into doing things and then feel bad when I don't make it.

I'm not really going anywhere with this, and I'm definitely not looking for advice or strategies to help. I'm just, y'know. Yelling about it.

And to everyone else out there who has to fight the daily fight against the sack of pudding in their heads or the meat prison they call a body (or both), I'm pouring one out for you.

It fucking sucks, and I wish it didn't.

[scumdrug]

little angel, go away, come again some other day,

the devil has my ear today, i'll never hear a word you say.

[inkskinned]

it just sucks because nothing is ever fucking made for you, and if it is made for you like 75% of the time it gets chopped into little pieces by every person alive because this is the one thing you have, so it has to prove itself to you.

like, a thing can't just be for women. men need to assign it to women. women have to experience "must" or "should" before their hobbies and passions - women are allowed to do silly, passive things like tuck our ankles and titter behind a fan, or something. women are allowed to, they are welcomed to. like the world is a house and we are supposed to be in the kitchen and now we are being given the divine right to enter the living room if we bring chips

because when it becomes for you, or about you, that is when the thing is vile. you should/must wear makeup so you can appear beautiful to men. once you wear makeup for yourself, or because you yourself enjoy putting it on, then you are no longer doing the right thing. there is a reason men hate certain fashion trends. there is a reason men hate things like the pumpkin spice latte - because it's not about them. you are buying it because it is good for you. they degrade your passions and interests. there is a reason women-led fields are largely seen as being "not a real" profession. when you are a good cook, that is because you can provide for him. close your eyes. you're not going to be a chef, be honest. that is a man making food for himself.

bras are made so breasts will be appealing to men. they are rarely about comfort or support. you have given up entirely on the idea of pockets. young girls have to worry about a shorter inseam on their shorts. a girl on instagram gets her septum pierced, and men in the comments are rabid about it - i just want to rip it out of her face. she'd be beautiful without it.

and fucking everything is for them. even the media that is "for you" is for them, eventually. remember "my little pony"? remember how hard it is to convince any executive to believe that little girls are worth selling to? in the media that is for you, you see little ways that you still need to make it accessible for them - the man is always powerful, smart, masculine. he is a man's man. the media usually forgives him. it usually says okay, some men are awful, but hey! gotta love 'em. because if you don't hold their hands and say "this is literally just a story about my lived reality", they shit their pants about it. they demand you put them into the media that's for you.

these are people who are so used to glutting themselves on the world. they are used to having every corner and every dollar and every place of leadership. so you say can i please have one slice of cake, just for myself, please, holy shit. and they fucking weep about it. they say you're being unfair, because some of their one-thousand-slices aren't beautiful, and your singular cake slice doesn't have their name on it. and aren't you being rude by not offering to share?

and honestly. fucking - yeah, man. you were kind of surprised, because the cake is a little basic (you bake at home, you're way past this stuff). but holy shit, it was nice just to be offered cake in the first place. you're used to having to starve. you're used to getting nothing, but going to the party anyway, because you're expected (professionally) to show up. you liked that it is a simple cake, and that it is warm, and mostly: you like that there is, for once, a cake-for-you.

in the real world, outside of metaphor, it feels like fucking being slapped. barbie didn't even say anything particularly unusual; it literally just made factually evident points. there are less women in leadership than men. we can look at that fact objectively. that is a real thing that is happening. and the movie is aware that it has to defend itself! that it has to spend like half an hour just turning to the camera and saying: i know this is hard for you to understand, but this is a real thing that women experience.

it's just - this is that one kid on the playground who thinks its allowed to hog all the toys. he builds this hoard that nobody else is allowed to even look at, or he'll get aggressive. everyone's a little scared of him, so they let it slide, because his daddy gave him the golden touch. he hates when people cry and thinks bullying is cool. he writes boys only! on a big sign and makes all his friends take "alpha male" classes.

and then girls pick up barbies, because there was nothing left for them. and in the void they've been given, with their scraps: they make long, spiraling narratives about how barbie is actually descended from snakes and has given her righteous followers magical (if concerning) powers and can speak 32 languages (2 of which are animal related) and has big plans for infrastructure (beginning with the local interstate). and the boy comes over, and he has a huge fit about how the girls aren't "including" him. he wants to know why the girls aren't making the story about ken.

"we didn't like your story." the girls blink at him. they point to his war stories and the gi joes and the millions of male-led narratives and how still in the modern day men get two-thirds of the speaking roles in movies and they point to men making mediocre shows that don't get lambasted and they point to men encouraging toxic masculinity and they point to men everywhere, men and men and men. and they say: "how is this our fault? you had ken."

"no!" he is already back to screaming and stomping his feet and tearing at his hair and intentionally reminding them that men are holding back thinly concealed violence and he says: "if it's not for me, it's actually sexism."

[geddy-leesbian]

Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles–

❝The only thing that can defeat power is more power. That is the one constant in this universe. However, there is no point in power if it consumes itself. I will enlist the help of an old friend against our common foe. I will use one pawn to eliminate the other, and emerge with the spoils for myself.❞

➛DARK LEGACY

[themostdesperatehoney]

Hey y’all…… some fucking asshole reported me and got my blog terminated. Trying to get back all my moots but I have a shit memory. So if you remember desperatehoney pleaaaase follow that’s me. Feel free to spread the word about this blog:( I want y’all back

Sorry for the crime of being a horny trans person I guess. But I refuse to let this keep me down. You Cannot Kill Me In A Way That Matters.

[sssaturnsnake]

friend asked me to redraw this and who am i to refuse

‘s not like i’ve got anything better to do with my time

[ducktollers]

undying tales - red panda (1/15)

[puppyeared]

Pokeymon

@ask-willowleafeon @ask-shiny-umbreon

[the-meme-monarch]

fathers of the world. you have got to stop calling women service workers over the phone ‘dear’

‼️TERFS STEP AWAY FROM THIS POST YOU WILL BE OBLITERATED ON SIGHT

[moonkhao]

hi.

[spaciebabie]

at first getting diagnosed with cptsd was like, "yay my trauma has been validated (it always was valid)!" and i really thought that was going to be it, but then i started to do research as i do whenever i realize i have something and learned that!! the way i experience socialization is!! quite horrid actually!!

[bxriles]

Watching people in this godforsaken fandom get big mad about Nyxlin is almost as funny to me as watching people get mad about Elaingate/Tamberlain.

[nintendont2502]

btw i will forever recommend just. refusing to engage in discourse. its free its easy and you literally arent missing anything LMAO - 99% of discourse on here is just on the most pointless petty shit that literally doesnt mean a single thing to anyone in real life (i am looking directly at you "pRo/AnTi" shippers), and the other 1% is genuinely important shit... that isnt going to be solved in any productive way by insulting '''the other side''' online. arguing with strangers online never changes anyones mind all youre doing is making yourself *and* your cause look annoying as hell :thumbsup: maybe chill out. find a hobby.

[anachronistic-falsehood]

every time i get into a new media i end up thinking of a teen beach movie au for it. i never do anything w these aus but there r so fun 2 just play with in my head like barbies <3

[ladymariayuri]

This was not worth it

[kingscourthouse]

They're Evil Gendered

(I've no clue if the kitchen entrance is accurate and I'm too lazy to look it up)