#fun fact i legitimately started crying at that image

[candieduranium]

yes, pinterest, i will absolutely take a look at some resources that may help improve my mood

[tblsomedoodles]

Got any more ideas if Raph being a telepath?

Yep! i was just thinking i should probably do some sort of summery about his telepathy abilities so it's less vague and more solid. (if anyone has anything they want to add, feel free.)

soooo i'mma gonna put this under a 'read more' since...um...i may have went a little off the rails again. like 1.2k off the rails.

So yeah. Info dump under the break!

Like the twins, Raph has had these powers for his whole life. Unlike them he's actually aware he has them and just doesn't realize his brothers don't.

At the start, it's mostly just psychic bonds he shares with his brothers. Little strings of emotions that are always running in the background; if he focused on one of the bonds he can pick up on some vague thoughts. Unfortunately thoughts aren't the easiest to translate so he can really only understand the gist of what each sibling is thinking. (Like Mikey's thoughts are bright colors and pictures often too abstract for Raph to fully understand, Leo's were words but they scattered around so fast the ones he can pick up didn't always make sense together, and Donnie's were a seemingly random mix of images, numbers, and words that Raph had trouble understanding how they would relate let alone what Donnie was thinking of to make them do so.) But he learned each thought language enough to know when one of them had something wrong or if they needed him for something.

When he was little, he had a knack for knowing exactly what each of his siblings needed. Splinter couldn't get Mikey to eat dinner? Raph tells him Mikey has an upset stomach but will eat some chicken noodle soup if given to him. Donnie crying for seemingly no reason? Raph magically appears with some earmuffs explaining it's too loud for Donnie today. Leo's cranky and keeps snapping at his siblings? Raph somehow knows he didn't sleep a lot last night because of a nightmare and is already wrapping him in a hug intent not to let him go until he takes a nap.

Splinter asked him about it once and Raph simply said that "They tell me in my head." which a confused Splinter took as a toddler's way of saying 'he just knew.' Raph, on the other hand, took that whole conversation as 'oh it must be rude to talk about your siblings' thoughts like that' and, not wanting to be rude, never outwardly explains it again.

Later on when Splinter taught them about the Ninja Mind Meld, he thought that is what he's been doing this entire time.

fun fact! (that i just came up with)

Raph doesn't actually know how to legitimately mind meld the way Splinter tried to teach them. For this Mind Melds are just sharing a singular thought with one teammate. (ie battle plans.) All Raph does is tune into his bond and pickup on whatever thought his brother is trying to send him (which is a lot easier to understand b/c they actively want to be understood) and goes with it. None of his brothers have questioned why it's so much easier to 'mind meld' with Raph, or why Raph seems to pickup on the thought they want to send almost before they actually send it.

SO! Savage episodes!

Savage episodes, are when Raph's bonds go quiet too quickly for him to compensate/prepare. Those bonds strengthen and weaken by distance. So the combined stress of finding himself physically alone, the constant hum of his siblings suddenly disappearing, and his head going silent, sends him into a panicked savage Raph episode.

Sometimes his brothers can snap him out of it if they come back in range quick enough so Raph can hear them again. But the longer he's in a savage episode, the more he starts actively suppressing the silent bonds on instinct and his brothers will have to snap him out of the episode first before he reopens them.

AFTER NIMPO

After the Nimpo gets unlocked, Raph's powers get stronger to the point where he can hear his siblings thoughts all the time even if he's not trying. He has to start actively keeping the bonds partially suppressed just to get some semblance of quiet like he had before (basically the bond is stronger now so he's actively limiting it to only let through what it used to before.) He also finds that with the bonds so much stronger, the distance he can go without them going silent has drastically lengthened. He can be half way across the city hanging out with Cass (b/c Casey and Raph r bffs in every version. those are the facts.) and still know exactly what Mikey is making for dinner that night if he wanted to.

He can now also see further into their minds, even see their dreams (not that he does that often. I think he accidentally ended up in one of Leo's dreams turned visions once. He only actively tries to do it when Donnie ends up in that waking vision and they're trying to snap him out of it.)(OH! Wait! What if Raph's accidentally Dream hopping most night! like he goes to sleep and just keeps ending up in his brother's dreams! like sometimes he'll sleep and have his own but now a lot of the time he has to put up with the ridiculousness that is his brothers' dreams. (or simply coax them through nightmares from the inside.) I kinda like that.)

He now finds he can also tune into minds that aren't his brothers, not nearly to the extent he can with his siblings, but enough that he can pick up on surface thoughts and feelings. (but, again, the thought language barrier is a thing. it takes time to translate each person's way of thinking, time he doesn't really want to put into b/c it feels rude to invade their privacy like that. Cass is probably the only one he actually does so with b/c once she heard he can do that, she wouldn't stop bullying him to try it on her lol.)

He might be able to form new bonds like he has with his siblings but i'm not exactly sure about that. (maybe it's something he will grow into? again, idk.)

HOW THE POWER'S DISCOVERED

ok, so everyone else finds out about Raph's telepathy very casually. Like everyone (Draxum included) is there probably talking about the twins' visions. (this is post first waking visions so everyone knows about them by now.) And Leo says at one point that Raph's almost always there when he wakes up from a vision to give him a hug. to which Donnie states that Raph seems to always know when he's had one as well.

Raph just shrugs saying "Raph can't see your visions so if Raph can't see what you're seeing then Raph knows it's a vision."

Draxum asks him to elaborate. And Raph calls it 'mind meld' but it becomes increasingly clear that whatever Raph is describing is not ninja mind melding.

by then, Draxum is just beside himself. When he had created them, all he wanted was basic super soldiers. Instead he ended up with both seers, an OP mystic user that can bend the fabric of time to his whim, and an extremely powerful telepath.

if they had stayed at his side the earth would have been doomed.

no wonder he lost so damn much to these teens when he was their enemy.

Ok, so that turned out a lot longer than i thought it would. So yeah. Hope you enjoyed this info dump!

Thank yoU!

[steamedtangerine]

A confirmation!

I started my Tumblr blog nearly 6 years ago (before the terrible cataclysm known by the refugees dwelling in the outer hills as THE BAN), and I did not hide the fact I posted NSFW content among the quirky, squinky stuff I had to share (so, if there are any under 18 hormone larvae lurking my account, I must ask you politely to POUND SAND! Beat it! Go play stickball or rob a bank or something equally productive.).

The close of 2018 cast a terrible shroud over Tumblr. For the year and half time I was on here (so far-not including the years I randomly lurked and kept holding the site up to different viewable angles to get a better grasp of what I was witnessing-I mean, I only became computer interactive back in 2010), I never once saw anything illegal. I did report one account claiming to be from Eastern Europe (that was reblogging my Silent Hill posts), that kept posting images of a shirtless boy that he claimed would come to his house to “have some fun”.

Nudity was being allowed on Pinterest and Flickr, and yet, no talk of Fosta Sesta was being applied to them. Could this be that Tumblr was purchased by the conservative corporation Verizon (home to Trump picks Ajit Pai and William Barr) in an attempt to squash the unanimous talk of Net Neutrality  that Tumblr championed (remember when that was a very BIG topic here on Tumblr?) by chasing off all us deviants who also picked on Trump and Kavanaugh and killer cops?....so, they thought.

Many of us persevered. We endured Rittenhouse trolls (oddly enough, only during the trial and no time before when the impact of the ugly murderous matter was fresh in the public’s mind), the insurrection, and Russian trolls trying to steer folks away from supporting sanctions. Pornbots still lingered in an attempt to frame smut alongside with RW politics (a complete abstraction from the years of Al Goldstein  and Larry Flynt), despite the fact that many archived accounts on Tumbex showed that many smut-loving accounts with a good eye for iconic and ironic content also were very left-leaning with every political matter that developed.

The issue of “Tumblr alternatives” came up (the point of this post), and many of them seemed too good to be true. One promised a well-moderated “Tumblr alternative” that would not allow Nazis. It was NewTumbl.

 After waiting to see if it endured, I set up an NT account before COVID. I already noticed it was a far cry from the pre-ban Tumblr: hentai was very absent, any of the usual Devainart fare that dominated pre-ban Tumblr (with fetishes ranging from furries to inflation to morphs, etc.) was nonexistent, noone was identifying actresses/models/performers, hashtags were scant, there was no creative or abstract use of images or gifs that had a self-conscious ironic take on smut in general, social interaction was nil, vintage was scant, original content died on the vine, even established accounts like the famous retro-fucking gave up after four months.

What was on the site was a lot of cruddy porn....bad, bad, bad stuff. Ugly, geriatric amateurs and people screeching “Gooner/sissy/”reblog if you....’” nonsense. There were also a lot of highly unimaginative caption posts and really bad incest fantasies. It seemed like someone wanted to troll the site....but even the usual telltale signs of 4Chan’s influence was absent from this swamp. The whole site seemed artificial and very removed from anything legitimately erotic online.

Yet, I tried to push on. My account was naturally above board. I posted vintage, ethnic, celebs, interracial, some gay, size fun, punk, public....but most of all, I did my research and made sure to list names of actresses/models (I learned the hard way, that even legit celebrities featured in mainstream movies and publications does not mean that they were “legit” at the time-that’s why it’s good to research between sites like VEF, namethatpornstar, Reddit, etc.-so, DO THE RESEARCH!) and hashtag things)....all this along with my goofy gifs, political posts, Steamables, and slack-driven content-which all pretty much was DOA from the getgo there. I was getting over five blank accounts following me daily (Dean-the supposed creator of NT-told folks not to block blank accounts, which was....odd). I noticed that the front page of NT defaulted to BS boomer MAGA crap. In fact, a lot of the RW crap on there was supported by the same insular fake crowd. Then I started noticing reposts....fake RW accounts would take rare content from me and others to pad their crap set-ups.

It got worse.

I started seeing material of questionable content. If it wasn’t straight-up “88″ Nazi shit, it was heavy drug use (ie. “slam”), bestiality, or it was gratuitous race-subjugation blogs (something absent even from pre-ban Tumblr). Then I started seeing models who seemed way too young. I started to report them; then such account activity disappeared. I thought it was just an ugly wave of some agency trying to shutdown the site.....buuuut they came back later...even heavier. Certain legit blogs were calling out the problem. I took to reporting more and more accounts, and I got the feeling that some blogs that were sent in to exclusively “follow me” were throwaways testing to see if I would report their underage content and single me out as a whistle-blower. I considered getting off the platform.....but before I could, I was banned.....never given a definite reason why....just removed permanently. No appeal. Nothing.

In the aftermath, II found at least three posts on Reddit with lots of users complaining explicitly in consistent detail the very same thing that happened to them. They were legit, longterm accounts that never posted underage content, and they had gay material and/or frequently reported the bad stuff (Nazis, pedos, etc.) flooding in. We all brainstormed on what was the gross angle of that site, and why the pedo crap persisted, despite the reportings, and we were the ones getting the boot.

Wanting to shake out that pebble in my shoe, I decided to open another NT account under a different email. Anything I did there is gone. All hastags I had are gone. I found many accounts I trusted are gone. I found Askthecrankyfairy was still around, but his last three posts for April are odd. In the first was one listing accounts that went MIA....many of them LGBT contributors. The last two laid out in full detail what had been going on at NT since October. Basically they were an appeal for any remaining folks to leave that site for good. They outlined everything from the issue with reposts to the failed reporting of underage crap to the removal of legit accounts to the MAGA dominating front page to the Nazi crap.

Yet, the most suspicious fact to surface is how some folks tried to be moderators to remove the bad stuff, and they were denied. The very accounts that were designated by staff as moderators were posting the very bad illegal stuff that banned accounts had reported (as many found out). Basically, the foxes (or pedobears) took over the security of the henhouse and were wrecking it with their garbage!!

BOTTOM LINE: I take it as a great honor to have been removed from such a horrible shitsite as NewTumbl.

....it’s just a shame there was never a decent “alternative” to Tumblr, and now that Imgur has removed NSFW content and Tumbex is having issues (again), there is a concern of where to find a decent image host site and what the landscape of NSFW material might be in the next few years. One thing is for sure, any loss to NewTumbl will go unnoticed, have zero impact on the world, and would be for the overall best.

[phoenixyfriend]

In Which Palpatine Leaves the Door Open

So, @purronronner suggested this on discord:

au where anakin finds out about palpatine during clone wars era like, coming in for a visit and overhears a conversation with Dooku about war planning he’s been pulled between palpatine and the Jedi/obi-wan/various things but I want to see him pulled between palpatine and his men could go either way on the sith part of the reveal even

palpatine is not aware! unless anakin’s course of action is to go “hey palpatine I must have misunderstood something right? :(“

(This was a group effort but there's a thing I wrote that requires this context so please bear with me.)

I'm just imagining Anakin backing out, closing the door, and turning to the Corrie Guard by the door to say a thing... and not finding words.

Eventually "Did you guys know he was evil?" "He's a politician, sir." "But like the evil ranting..." "He's a politician. Sir."

He's willing to use his men to save R2, but that's because R2 was part of the team and helping, not arranging battles to make things worse.

Anakin: Normally, I'd go to Palpatine to talk about my problems, but right now he is the problem... Obi-Wan and Yoda are off-planet.... Anakin, phoning up Padme: Help?

Per @atagotiak we also have some Intense Thoughts

Oh hey. The deception arc. And the subsequent argument that we don't see and stuff. Like there's all the ways you could justify it especially from an opsec standpoint (If Anakin acts like that around Padme why would anyone assume he can keep a secret about anything?) And it was a pretty tactically important thing for the war as far as anyone knew. But just. I've heard some people say that perhaps also Obi-Wan reasoned that hurting Anakin is an ok price to pay to make sure someone Anakin cares for doesn't die for real which seems plausible enough.

Anyways. My point is. Anakin gets a front row seat to sheevception when he actually sorta knows whats going on. Gets sidetracked halfway through yelling and stuff to think about how convoluted this whole mess is.

For more clone-centric things all the times Palpatine's like "I wish I could do more, it's truly regrettable, but..." Would just seem awfully fake now.

Anakin, belatedly: Wait, does this mean that, behind all the layers of bullshit, Palpatine was the one trying to kill Padme at the start of the war???

WHICH IS WHAT LEADS TO A WHOLE LOT OF FUN and yes this is the part I'm sort of proud of.

Okay so: Anakin's a shit liar, yes?

After he meanders over to Padme and has a breakdown, he then goes off to tell the Council about all this. I imagine she goes with him as moral support, and also because she wants to protect him from them calling him out on his legitimately terrible decisions. They're trying to come up with a plan to take Palpatine down without tipping their hands too early, because they need to investigate; for the sake of this plot point, we'll say that Palpatine mentioned a contingency plan while talking to Dooku, even if he didn't directly name the chips.

Someone mentions that Palpatine is going to ask to see Anakin, because he does regularly. And, as experience has shown, there is very little that will stop Palpatine from insisting that Anakin come see him. They can stall for a bit, maybe, but not for long.

"You could send me to the other side of the galaxy," Anakin suggests. "Short notice, so sorry, won't be around for a bit."

They point out that won't work forever.

"So... arrest me, or put me on a mental health hold?" Anakin tries. "Say I got violent at civilians or the clones for no reason and you need to make sure I won't hurt him, and then even if he visits me in the cell, I don't have to act normal 'cause he'll EXPECT me to be upset."

Palpatine presumably has spies all over, so he'd know that hadn't actually happened. Also, Anakin's too important to the war effort for anything short of a cold-blooded murder of an innocent, and they can't just take him off the field without an absolutely massive violation of the Code or his orders.

"Tell him I Fell," Anakin offers.

A Sith Lord would be able to feel that from across the galaxy, if it had happened, especially with the amount of time that he's put into grooming Anakin.

"Oh," Anakin says, and his stomach drops out as he realizes that he can either keep his secrets, or keep people alive.

He thinks about how Palpatine had targeted Padme already, and how if Palpatine thinks Anakin's betrayed him, then he'll probably do that again.

He thinks about 'a Sith Lord would know' and realizes... well.

Anakin values his freedom, but he also values his men, his padawan, his master, his wife... the wife that's in danger if Palpatine knows that Anakin caught him out.

The Order has to keep Anakin away from Palpatine. They need an excuse to arrest him. They need an excuse to hide him away, one that Palpatine won't question too hard.

A Sith Lord would know if Anakin fell. Even if he came back afterwards.

"So... so tell him you found out about the Tusken Massacre."

The what.

"...tell him you found out about the time I actually did Fall," Anakin says, squeezing Padme's hand. She knows. She's the only one who knows, on Coruscant, other than the Sith they're hunting. "On... on Tatooine. You can claim it was an anonymous tip. He already knows about that one. He's one of the only two people outside Tatooine that do. He might not question it."

(He won't question it.)

What did you do, Skywalker.

"I killed... a lot of people. A Tusken tribe. Including the children. Right before the war hit."

----

It's a hell of a way to fall on his figurative sword.

(Mace is... both impressed that Anakin would take the hit to make sure they can handle the Palpatine problem, and horrified about the Massacre, because... who wouldn't be.)

(Mace is unfortunately Anakin's main handler on this project.)

Anakin puts in so much effort, all the time, into not Falling, so it’s surprisingly (terrifyingly!) easy for him to fake a 'near miss' with the Dark just by thinking really hard about things that make him angry. Nobody wants him actually Falling for the ploy if they can help it, but they need to sell the bit, and Anakin's... well. He's Anakin. It's easy to think about his own emotional volatility until any control goes out the window.

He's sacrificing a lot for this mission! It's fine! He's fine!

(Padme, the council is judging you so hard right now.)

Palpatine comes to visit Anakin in prison, and it is very easy for Anakin to disguise his anger as... a different anger. I have a very intense mental image of Anakin working himself up into a frenzy when Palpatine comes to visit, and then at some point in the following conversation he just snaps something about how "you said they were animals who deserved to die."

The Council can even eke it out a bit, make it so they don't want to admit why Anakin's in prison or under a psychiatric hold or whatever they claim it is, so their "I'm hiding something vibes" look like "I'm hiding the fact that one of our most recognizable war heroes just came clean as a mass murderer and we have no idea how to handle it" instead of "I'm hiding that we know you're a Sith Lord and are working to take you down."

Obi-Wan comes back from an off-world mission to find out that Mace arrested his former padawan and Ahsoka hasn't stopped crying for three days because nobody will tell her what's going on.

(The Council decided this couldn't be risked on even an encrypted comm.)

(They maybe tell him soon enough? But also they might treat it like the Hardeen thing and use his reaction as fuel to keep Palpatine convinced.)

SKYGUY GOT ARRESTED AND NOBODY'S EXPLAINING WHY.

Rex is overwhelmed because it's been his job to keep her calm.

Anyway, padawanship has been temporarily transferred to the grandmaster. You were half-training her anyway.

Insert a subplot about Obi-Wan being horrified and betrayed and aiming the feeling at Padme because she knew about the Tuskens and never told.

[grimoireofwritings]

Hi! Could i get a nsfw scenario where William masturbates for one night thinking about his fem s/o?

.......

So here's me, casually appearing randomly from the void to finally post this months later 0_0

I'm so sorry y'all, mental health has been in the gutter lately and suffering from major heart and brain damage at age 21 is just not a fun gig. Nonetheless, I hope this was worth the wait, you thirsty hoes >.<

Warnings: smut, light femdom ( I headcanon William with a lean towards sub )

Scenario: William's female s/o walks in on him jerking off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Guilt.

It was all William could really feel in that moment. Well, aside from a general, looming sensation that had been plaguing the poor gentleman for a while now. It made his stomach all fluttery and nauseous with two completely contradicting urges... Which didn't result in a good state to rest in, as he lay propped up on his simple bedroom mattress. It had even prevented him from getting proper sleep lately. One such part of the equation was his complete and utter shame, which replayed punishing thoughts in his mind on repeat... Mentally battling with himself on how wrong it was to think such filthy things about a woman so pure and angelic. A body like that, he could easily imagine it sculpted from marble like the most honored and beautiful of Goddesses in ancient times. Every curve, and the warmth of that soft skin that he could dream of... How could he ever imagine desecrating it? Dirtying it, and perhaps staining it with his intent?

Apparently he could, and he did... Quite frequently. Such horrendously ungentlemanly thoughts popping into his mind had him mortified with himself.

For this reason, he kept his uncontrollably growing desires a secret from his partner. It seemed to him that she was comfortable with their current level of intimacy in their relationship, therefore.. he would remain quiet and allow her to call the shots. It had always been this way, with him considering himself lucky to have her in his life at all, what with a face like his... As well as his history. So he kept quiet, allowing her to make all the first moves so as to not make her uncomfortable. Despite the longing and craving he had for her, and the shame it brought him, he would suppress every last desire, and would never utter a word or clue about it.

It was getting harder however, every passing day. More and more challenging not to notice the lump in his throat when he had to refrain from staring at certain parts of her in particular outfits, and keep his hands from wandering over the perfectly smooth plains of her thighs, or even passionately gripping on to those breasts that took his breath away.

He gave a slight audible whine, there in his bed, tortured by these thoughts popping up once again.. because once they started, they couldn't stop. This time around for some reason it was particularly agonizing to ignore the growing need in his pajama pants, which was legitimately painful to disregard at this point. He'd end up sweating, palms gripping on to the sheets, as he refused to touch himself to the thought of her. Absolutely not... Never.. he could never be so degrading and perverted towards someone who deserved only the highest respect.

Even as he told himself this for the millionth time, the words had been losing their influence that week, and it was at that moment that he caved, giving a strangled whimper of regret whilst his right hand crept under his waistband. From that point on his vision went blurred and brimmed with red, framing pictures in his mind that could only consist of her.

And goodness was that woman breathtaking. He somehow felt starved for a touch he'd never quite experienced before with her... A deep craving as he could practically feel those lips of hers, divine and smooth like rose petals, grazing over his sensitive neck. Would she perhaps moan his name out softly into his ear, as his hands wrapped around her rear to slip a finger between her wetted and ready slit? Yes... Not only could William picture it, but he could almost feel it, too.

Hands, on her velvet skin, squeezing and caressing here and there.. her labored breaths brushing past his cheeks. By this point William had thoughtlessly worked up the courage to start stroking himself, his movements terrified and shaky, slow but gradual. The tortured man could not help himself.. he really couldn't. Despite the fact that he felt like an atrocious person, that previously sick feeling in his stomach was being replaced by mind splitting pleasure.

Warmth.. so much warmth he was feeling down there, in fact it was warm enough now that it was exactly what he imagined her hot, inviting mouth would feel like. This time he let out a soft but much more discernable moan, a couple of lost syllables and stutters rolling off of his lips as he imagined her tongue massaging in place of where his fingers currently were. He vaguely had a couple of thoughts warning him he should stop soon... She'd be back in their shared room any moment now, after finishing up her nightly chores around the headquarters. But he was way too far gone, and foggy in the brain, to give a damn and have the self control to even do so.

Not to mention, the slightest surfacing of precum wasn't helping, given that it added a slight lubricant to the situation and really solidified the illusion in his mind he'd created for himself. His greatest fantasy would be to have her ride him, perhaps..

Absolutely. Just her, in all of her glory, above him and in her rightful place where he could worship and adore from below. The image alone of her hair framing an expression of ecstacy like a curtain, eyes hazy with pleasure all because of him, whilst he allowed his hands to boundlessly wander over every surface of her divinity.. maybe his lips would latch on to her skin and travel down to a breast, all the while drowning in her sounds.. it was enough to drive him mad in the most beautiful way possible.

By that point, poor William Vangeance was too far gone to even notice the barely audible creaking of the door whilst his girlfriend stepped inside their now shared room. A slur of pathetic, whiney mumblings and moans were leaking out into the air for her to hear in utter shock, as well as her name whispered breathlessly to confirm that he was, in fact, masturbating while thinking of her.

"William? What are you doing?"

It was about as sudden as flipping off a light switch. Light to dark in an instant.. except this time it was his voice and his movements. In the dim room, the only light source being a small candle which cast an orange glow on his face, she could make out a look of complete panic, his entire frame completely paralyzed in his position. Had he gone catatonic?

While she had found the display amusing, she was now distracted, more worried about him than anything else. "Love? Are you alright? This isn't very expected of you.." she trailed off, but before she could finish, William snapped out of his trance, causing her to gasp and glance up at the unexpected tone of his voice.

The poor man could hardly form any coherent words in his next jumbled sentences, sometimes the only noticable parts being things like "I'm so sorry for-" and "I will get my things and go out to the front room couch for the night-" to which his partner was dumbfounded by his amount of panic. In fact, William looked to be on the verge of tears, utterly destraught, much to his partner's worry and dismay. However.. she figured she could easily fix this.

Sauntering over to him, she sat beside him on the bed, placing a finger to his lips in an instant to hush him. Leaning forward to speak directly to him, she could tell he thought he was in for a scolding, but what came next had his jaw practically hanging from its hinges in a gape.

"Touching yourself without me here to take care of your needs? You've got some nerve doing my job for me, Captain William Vangeance. I was surprised you hadn't asked me sooner for favors quite like the ones you were probably just imagining.. but now that I know you've been naughty and doing this in your own time, don't expect any mercy from me tonight. I'll prove to you why I'm far more efficient than your right hand. And I'd better not see this again."

She gave a cheeky smirk, completely digging that expression he was wearing. He 100% never would have guessed such lewd words could ever come out of her, and honestly, it already had his entire body lighting up with heat. That confidence from her.. the domineering and sexy edge to her lips, curled into a dark sneer.. it was all blindingly amplified the moment she straddled over him, looming over his body to speak in a low tone towards his ear. "Are you prepared for me to devour you?" She asked.

This was really doing it for him, and he caved, his pent up desire mixing with his excitement and impatience of the moment... Unable to handle the anticipation. As a result, he resumed, feeling already quite close to an orgasm as he frantically jacked himself off with her weight and presence above him. He just... Couldn't wait anymore. And she was too dazzling, too seductive, much too hypnotizing with those devilish words.

"You have the audacity to continue right after what I just said? Bold move, Captain. Either I underestimated you or you're fucking desperate for me. Which one is it? Care to share with me? If you do, perhaps I will let you off the hook... A bit."

"Y-y/n... P-please! L-let me-"

His begs and pleas were interrupted by a deafening, breathless, gasping cry as he came on the spot, a few whimpers following in a perfect sequence as the white hot pleasure seized violent hold of his body, almost aggressive in nature after having been repressed for so long. Panting, he watched his partner witness his helpless and needy state, almost amplifying the experience to a degree.

She was dead quiet, watching with sharp eyes and an intensity in her stare as he slowly came down from the high, body naturally going limp with exhaustion and his breathing evening out. He chuckled sheepishly then, eyeing her with a noticable hint of anticipation and excitement in his gaze, slightly curious if she'd follow through with her previous promise. "B-better to ask forgiveness than p-permission, right?" He tried meekly, biting his lip at that irresistible smirk returning to her face.

"Incorrect" she stated, which set his nerves aflame yet again.

"See... You're the one who wanted me so bad, aren't you? I honestly had no idea... Especially with how shy you are, I was waiting, but it seems you've made me wait longer than necessary. Not to mention, after directly disobeying me, you owe me a couple rounds. Understood? You'll bear with it like a good boy... And I'll be sure you enjoy it too."

There.. that softer look in her eyes at that last statement, despite how perfectly and wonderfully dominant she was - it made his heart melt. William found it very comforting that he didn't have to take charge right away and that she was naturally the one in charge in such an environment - he spent so much time worrying, being afraid, stressing, overthinking, and telling people what to do... That giving up control to someone he trusted was just a complete relief.

"Yes ma'am," he stated, having gained back some composure. "I'll do my best to endure whatever my goddess intends to give me.. please allow me to touch and praise you."

"Good boy," she cooed, encouraging his words of loyalty, as she slowly lowered herself to gently and sensually take him into her mouth to start off. Almost immediately, a tortured cry of overstimulation escaped him, but at the same time it felt completely euphoric.

It occured to William that one of the best nights of his life was about to take place, so he closed his eyes, and placed a hand down on the head bobbing over him.

~end~

[myimmortalisimmortal]

Why Chapter 39 of My Immortal was due to an actual hacker

After considering some findings, I’m confident in this theory. And thus, I’m confident anyone who claims to be Tara Gilesbie while claiming the hacked chapter was faked is not being honest. Below I will explain why I believe so and how I came across this information in the first place.

All this was from a long chain of breadcrumbs. Let’s go back... all to the mid 2000s in the LiveJournal days when Tara Gilesbie had a dedicated fan club.

The Tara Gilesbie Fan Club

One thing that particularly stuck out was members mentioning finding Tara through IMDb. Yes, you heard right.

[ID: Two comments on the Tara Gilesbie Fan Club LiveJournal.

The first is from ‘golden_helikaon’ on 2008-01-19 writing, “I found it on the Order of the Phoenix IMDb board. There were several long threads dedicated to ripping her apart with every new chapter.”

The second comment is from ‘heartdreamerz’ on 2008-01-20 writing, “It was almost 2 years ago and I've told this story many times. I knew Tara a month before My Immortal was published. It was on IMDb's board for My Chemical Romance. When the story came out I knew about it but didn't pay attention because I wasn't into HP at the moment. Then, like icarus_malfoy wrote, there were the threads about her and that's when my interest started. There were also another troll on the His Dark Materials...” (Image cuts off.) End ID.]

According to this, Tara Gilesbie was already tyrannizing the internet before she posted My Immortal. This actually is very consistent with the fact “Tara Gliesbie is totlly Gottik” was a petition that existed in November 2005. (My Immortal was posted in March 2006.)

This IMDb profile seemed very intriguing. It hasn’t been mentioned much, and isn’t considered to be official by most people. Was it a legitimate account? If so, was there gothicness we were deprived of all along? I searched to try find out more about it, hoping screen captures or something would turn up. Luckily, one of the same members copied and pasted Tara’s bio in another comment.

[ID: A comment on the Tara Gilesbie Fan Club LiveJournal by ‘heartdreamerz’ on 2007-05-05 writing, “All her posts are deleted now. I can still visit her profile because she's on my friend list. Her bio:

‘hi im tara. im a goth (n prode!). i have died blak hair n blu eyez. i wer eyeliner a lot of da time. i hav a bf. his naym is justin. he rox! i liv in Dubia.

likz: eyliner, goffik makep, beng goffik, GOOD CHRALOTTE, death, sleting my rists, drak colorz, hot topik _

dizliks: beng alive, bo, pop music, brite colors, pink, brabie, hiraly doof da music i lik: linen prak, GOOD CHRELOTE, evinezenz, simpl plan, akon, arvil levine, blink-183, panik! at da disko, foll oot boi, mcr. HIRALY DOOF IS A PSR!

fav moviez: when a stranger kallz, da grudge, da grudge 2, korps bird, da nitemare b4 krismas, da ring 2, da ring, shrak attak, undreworld 2, da texas chonsow massakre da bogenning

ps 2 all da prepz nd pozers tryin 2 diz me u r jus jeloz!!!! so yolsentik nd hartdremer u kan go fok ur momz 4 al i ker ok U SUK!!!111′

I feel so special to be personally insulted by her on her profile.” End ID.]

People like to copy & paste things stupid things to laugh at all the time (no offense Tara), so I thought: why not Google some of the bio? Maybe whoever did that posted additional stuff.

And it worked! (I found more content from Tara’s supposed IMDb, but more on that for a different post.)

When searching the bio, a Reddit thread about Rose Christo popped up.

During Rose Christo’s brief reign, a user said Rose’s claims seemed to check out. This user actually happens to be the same commenter, Heartdreamerz, in the LiveJournal thread. (Which makes sense, considering she’s the one who originally had the bio I was searching.) 

If you don’t feel like clicking the Reddit link, basically she confirmed Rose’s claim that two Filipino users from the forums hacked the account.

Because of Heartdreamerz’ long involvement in My Immortal and the fact she never claimed to be Tara or Raven, I take a lot of trust in her word.

Heartdreamerz linked the FF.net profile of the original hacker: Coruscate Corruption.

Looking up “Coruscate Corruption” had me come across this from the LiveJournal fan club, which implies that there were two hackers.

[ID: post on the Tara Gilesbie Fan Club Livejournal by 'nicespice' on Dec. 28th, 2006, writing, “Just a little thing I drabbled down. Hope it's not too horrible. What do you think?

There is an evil on FF.net and All who encounters it feels their Respiratory system give out And become too scared to scream. Gruesome, it is. The anti-christ fanfiction, My Immortal, written by a total idiot. Does she Leave you to cry tears of blood, because I have before. EarnestInBerlin and Coruscate Corruption, the hackers, Sought to bring My Immortal redemption. Too Bad the real Tara had to come back so soon to ruin the fun. I wish she had at least continued her story, I look at her fic Everytime I go online, wishing she'd just update so I could laugh at... Tara Gilesbie." End ID.]

While searching “Coruscate Corruption”, a few posts popped up from a forum for The Bartimaeus Sequence called Bartiforums.

[ID: Two images showing 3 forum posts by Mwamba.

The first post was a reply to, "Mwamba, how did you crack both passys? Just guessing or what?"

On December 8th 2006, Mwamba replied, "Tara's was just pure luck. It didn't take long to get. The password was tara. *snorts* Post's was just guessing too, but I remembered when his passy was cracked on here, so I tried out the same password. It worked. Oh yeah, and I wrote a fanfic for Post, it's a rip off of Tara's story, but meh.”

The last two posts were made on January 14th, 2007. The second post wrote, "It was me. I had complete control for two days. And then EarnestInBerlin had to hack in too and change the password. But then she told what it was and then the real Tara had to come back and rechange her passy so nobody could get in. But that's old news. That account is most certainly not mine. I could not continue that fic for 39 chapters, I'd get bored after the first fifteen.”

The third post wrote, “*Shrug* It doesn't matter. Call me whatever. Though if I have to pick, I suppose you can call me by my FF.net name, Coruscate Corruption. What book category are you writing this fic in? Just curious.” End ID.]

Chapter 39 was posted late November 2006, so that first post was only a few weeks after it happened.

The password was “tara”... does that ring a bell at all?

[ID: A screencap from Rose Christo’s now-deleted blog. It says, “And My Immortal? You can come to your own conclusions. This was really never about the fic; it was the marketing team at SMP that decided to make My Immortal the main part of the story. Our email address was gofikchick@hotmail.com and our password was tara.” End ID.]

-- Rose Christo’s claim before deleting

 You may be asking, “Rose Christo? The woman who lied about her family, being Native American, and writing My Immortal to sell a book?” Yes, that Rose Christo. Yes, she was a fraud and a scammer, but she peppered in some little-known true details to make her claim seem more legit. For instance, she talked about a Voldemort rper in the reviews, and that ended up being true. You can actually find this Voldemort reviewer in the web archives of Raven’s stories. (Apparently, that Voldemort even came out and said “hey, that’s me!” Cannot find it unfortunately.)

Keep in mind the only way I found any of this was because Rose Christo made that claim. Without it, Heartdreamerz wouldn’t have made that post that led to Coruscate Corruption and those posts on Bartiforums. It’s possible Rose somehow came across the same information I did, but it’s more likely she was there. Rose Christo may not be the author of My Immortal, but it was likely she was a spectator as it all went down. (As I was a spectator for Rose’s ordeal when it all went down.)

 Since it was said the hackers posted on the fanfiction forums, I sought to find it by searching “Tara”, “My Immortal”, etc. on FFnet’s search. The posts are unfortunately long gone, but there is a surviving forum called “My Immortal Forum Tara Gilesbie is a genius!”

[ID: A screencap of “My Immortal Forum Tara Gilesbie is a genius!” from Fanfiction net. Someone named Ebony Dark’ness wrote, “I have personally logged on to Tara’s account when her password was revealed after she got hacked.” End ID.]

TL;DR: Multiple, separate people made consistent claims over the span of years. Because of this, I personally believe Tara’s account was legitimately hacked.

(Sources/links will be added in a reblog.)

[blossom-hwa]

also since the drabbles request is going to close soon, i thought this might be a good way to end it: how would your biases (across different groups) interact with one another if they're in the same room 👀 -baker anon (loosely inspired by the texts you made recently bc i LOVE THEM SO MUCH😍😍)

ANON OKAY SO I KNOW YOU SAID YOU WANT MY BIASES INTERACTING BUT ASLKDJGHA I THOUGHT. WHAT IF THEY ALL INTERACT AT WORK. SO THIS IS JUST SOME OF THEM BEING FUCKING IDIOTS AT THE MALL CENTER THEY WORK AT LKSJHDLG I’M SORRY IF THIS ISN’T WHAT YOU WANTED

3-year anniversary drabble game: send me an NCT/WAYV/Stray Kids/The Boyz member + a prompt (check out the post for ideas) and I’ll write a drabble for you!

I know this isn’t all of tbz but trying to fit all 11 of them in was overwhelming I’M SORRY

~

Title: Mall Shenanigans

Pairing: no pairings, just the boyz and stray kids being dumb

Triggers: a lot of cursing, suicidal jokes (again, along the lines of ‘pls kill me’ but if you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts I wouldn’t read this)

~

cafe workers:

chan: better than tony

changbin: chingban

jisung: gremlin

chanhee: new kid

jacob: angel

tutoring center workers:

seungmin: seungman

jeongin: you better watch your foxing mouth

sangyeon: papi

kevin: moon scribblez

eric: the better jae

build a bear workers:

minho: lino

hyunjin: hyun

felix: fel(e)x

changmin: starbucks tissues

juyeon: professional rollerblader

~

better than tony: if Jacob didn’t exist you all would be dead

chingban: as in you would’ve killed us

chingban: or he’s prevented us from accidentally killing ourselves ?

gremlin: both

new kid: both

better than tony: both

chingban: fair

angel: :( stop hurting yourselves accidentally

angel: it hurts me :/

gremlin: oh my god his power

gremlin: with one single emoticon he changes my entire life perspective

new kid: see I'd say the same except Jacob tries to convince me on the daily that my only life goal shouldn’t be to put changmin in the grave

better than tony: that... that shouldn’t be your life goal

angel: ^^^

chingban: idk if someone scares you that much with a horror movie mask I think you’ve got a right to murder

angel: changbin

angel: n o

gremlin: idk I think it says something more about chanhee

new kid: say what bitch

gremlin: if you keep getting scared I think there’s something wrong with you

new kid: says the little BITCH who got startled by someone DROPPING THEIR COFFEE yesterday and legitimately SCREAMED 

chingban: you say this as if you aren’t the biggest coward on the planet jisung

gremlin: did I ever deny there was something wrong with me???????

angel: STOP there is nothing wrong with you all

better than tony: idk I think there is 

better than tony: there’s something wrong with all of us

better than tony: except maybe Jacob

new kid: Jacob just put his head in his hands

angel: all of you have a horrible self-destructive and self-deprecating instinct and I don’t appreciate it :/

gremlin: Jacob I will do my best to take your words to heart

gremlin: I will listen to you unlike these other assholes

new kid: you might take his words to heart but your actions prove you can’t handle them

gremlin: try me bitch

chingban: did you already forget the time you set a refrigerator on fire?

better than tony: PLEASE don’t remind me

angel: maybe we shouldn’t bring that up

better than tony: you were all horrible

better than tony: jisung just laughed

better than tony: changbin went home

better than tony: seungmin and jeongin came over to take pictures of me while I was about to cry

better than tony: only Jacob comforted me :/

gremlin: and this is why we only listen to Jacob

chingban: ^^^

new kid: ^^^

new kid: he’s the only one who has a truly good heart

better than tony: why can’t I inspire this kind of loyalty??

angel: chan has a good heart too :/

gremlin: maybe so but

gremlin: he’s a complete mess and is easier to clown than listen to

new kid: ^^^

chingban: ^^^

better than tony: watch me just commit die

angel: no don’t commit die come here I'll give you a hug

better than tony: I like Jacob more than all of you combined

chingban: um

gremlin: did you think we were going to get offended?

new kid: news flash we all like Jacob more than we like you

better than tony: on an ordinary day I would be crying

better than tony: today I am fine because Jacob is giving me hugs and not you assholes

better than tony: suck it <3

chingban: I hate it when he’s right

new kid: :/

gremlin: I'm going to set the refrigerator on fire again if I don’t get Jacob hugs right now !

new kid: I thought you said you didn’t know how you set it last time?

gremlin: I can still try

angel: no don’t do that I'm coming to hug you now!

gremlin: :D

better than tony: can’t believe jisung bribed Jacob into leaving me to give him hugs

chingban: just shows he’s smarter than you

better than tony: remember how jisung said he’d haunt this cafe if he died and I said I'd just enjoy being dead?

better than tony: starting to consider Jisung’s plan :)

new kid: terrifying

chingban: horrifying

gremlin: I can hear the deadpan ringing through the cafe and it honestly gives me life

better than tony: I hate you all

new kid: so do we <3

angel: :(

~

watch your foxing mouth: sangyeon you’re fucking evil

papi: ?

seungman: it’s eric’s first week and you’ve already given him ashley twice 

seungman: are you trying to make him quit?

moon scribblez: I entirely agree with what they just said 

moon scribblez: we’re already low on staff because everyone graduated last year and you’re trying to run eric out of a job too???????

papi: look eric handles her much better than all of you do

papi: I think he’s doing fine

the better jae: I’M NOT FUCKING FINE

watch your foxing mouth: the proof is in the fucking pudding

moon scribblez: pudding?

watch your foxing mouth: it’s an expression

watch your foxing mouth: your canadian ass wouldn’t know

moon scribblez: I'm going to stick a pin on your chair

the better jae: SANGYEON WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME

the better jae: YOU TOLD ME THIS JOB WAS LOW KEY AND CHILL

papi: it kind of is

the better jae: NOT WHEN YOU PUT ASHLEY AT MY TABLE EVERY SINGLE TIME SHE COMES IN

papi: but you’re handling her so much better than the other three combined :/

watch your foxing mouth: I take offense to that

papi: ignoring her is not a valid strategy jeongin

watch your foxing mouth: well it’s better than seungmin visibly getting frustrated

seungman: well at least I'm trying

seungman: kevin just lets her draw jfc

moon scribblez: look I'm a junior in college and I'm on the verge of just faceplanting into the ocean from a thousand meter cliff I don’t have the time or energy to deal with a bitch who wants to draw and not learn math

papi: do you see what I mean now Eric???????????

the better jae: I'm this fucking close to losing my shit sangyeon I Do Not Care

the better jae: the next time she comes in on my shift I better not have her

papi: fine :/

seungman: did

watch your foxing mouth: oh my god

seungman: DID ASHLEY JUST SAY TO SANGYEON THAT ERIC IS HER FAVORITE ISNTRUCTOR ALREADY

moon scribblez: [ 1 image attached ]

moon scribblez: I think we need to glory in the horror on Eric’s face

watch your foxing mouth: she’s going to ask for Eric every time now oh god 

the better jae: I'm not fucking do this I'll quit first

papi: pls no

papi: I don’t want to hunt for more tutors :/

the better jae: you better not fucking put her at my table every time I'm here !

seungman: just make sure your table is full

watch your foxing mouth: foolproof

the better jae: I guess :/

moon scribblez: working here is such an experience

moon scribblez: minho and chan threaten to fire their kids every other day

moon scribblez: meanwhile we’re the ones threatening to quit every other day

seungman: well what the fuck did you expect from tutoring a bunch of rich assholes four times a week

watch your foxing mouth: ^^

papi: not all of them are assholes guys

seungman: oh we know this very well

watch your foxing mouth: Alex is a fucking blessing to this earth

the better jae: so is Kaylee

seungman: but people like max? ashley? nina?

seungman: they outweigh any good that comes out of here

papi: well if you think the kids are shit imagine the parents

watch your foxing mouth: I hate to say it but sangyeon has a point

moon scribblez: I guess he deserves some pity

papi: finally some respect in this fucking household

the better jae: not on my watch

the better jae: I respect the sacrifices you make

the better jae: but I'm still quitting if you keep sending Ashley to my table

papi: sigh

moon scribblez: and I'm quitting if I find another cockroach in a mop

watch your foxing mouth: THERE WAS A NOTHER ON E???????

papi: bigger sigh

moon scribblez: WORSE

moon scribblez: THE LAST TIME I SHOOK OUT THE MOP T H R E E STUPID FUCKING COCKROACHES CRAWLED OUT

moon scribblez: YEJI HAD TO KILL THEM FOR ME

papi: I'm giving up on gaining respect

moon scribblez: you’ll gain my respect when we get this fucking place fumigated

watch your foxing mouth: aren’t the kids rich? what the fuck are they paying for this? why can’t we afford some roach spray jfc

papi: that’s the owners’ call

papi: and the owners are assholes

moon scribblez: headdesk

seungman: wow he really did just slam his head down on the table

the better jae: thank god we’re already closed

papi: thank god for that I can leave and not deal with you for the rest of today

watch your foxing mouth: oh don’t worry we’ll be back tomorrow <3

seungman: <3

the better jae: <3

moon scribblez: <3

papi: every day I wake up and face an existence of pain

~

lino: who’s taking the front today and who’s working the back

lino: for once all of you are here today so you don’t have to work two jobs at once how nice

hyun: I CALL THE BACK

fel(e)x: SO DO I

professional rollerblader: fuck

starbucks tissues: I brought my nun mask today does anyone want to switch?

hyun: is that

hyun: is that a threat

starbucks tissues: it’s whatever you want it to be <3

hyun: I know better but I'm going to assume it’s just a fun fact

hyun: I can’t deal with children today

starbucks tissues: I guess I have free reign then

fel(e)x: now that sounds like a threat

lino: no threats at work

starbucks tissues: so outside of work is fair game?

lino: yes

hyun: mINHO YOU CAN’T LEAVE ME TO THE WOLVES LIKE THIS

lino: who the fuck is the wolf? changmin?

fel(e)x: he’s just a sweet boy don’t be mean hyunjin :/

professional rollerblader: bitch about changmin again and I'll cut you in half

hyun: WHY AM I BEING ATTACKED

professional rollerblader: that’s what you get for attacking changmin

starbucks tissues: I love juyeon and felix

starbucks tissues: <3 <3 <3 <3 

hyun: I feel like

hyun: changmin is the favorite child and I'm just cast off to the side

fel(e)x: who’s the child

fel(e)x: he’s literally older than both of us

hyun: it’s an ANALOGY

professional rollerblader: well it isn’t a good one

hyun: oh fuck OFF we know you always have a soft spot for changmin asshole

lino: deadass thought that read changmin’s asshole for a second and nearly spit out my coffee

starbucks tissues: MINHO PLEASE

fel(e)x: minho I did not need that image in my mind

professional rollerblader: petition to murder Minho in international uncharted waters and dumb his body overboard

starbucks tissues: seconded

hyun: CAN WE GET BACK TO THE POINT

hyun: ALL OF YOU HAVE SOFT SPOTS OR ARE TERRIFIED OF CHANGMIN AND I GET PASSED OVER EVERY TIME

fel(e)x: I mean changmin’s just more likable 

professional rollerblader: he’s cuter

lino: I'm terrified of him

starbucks tissues: <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

hyun: I'm quitting this fucking job

lino: oh wow nice usually it’s me who threatens to fire you but now you’re taking initiative!

professional rollerblader: clap for hyunjin!

fel(e)x: *claps*

starbucks tissues: *claps*

hyun: I want to die I want to fucking die

starbucks tissues: I can bring out the mask!

hyun: I honestly might take you up on that

hyun: give me a fucking heart attack so I can die and haunt you all for the rest of your pitiful lives

professional rollerblader: you’d honestly be the pitiful one

professional rollerblader: literally got scared to death

fel(e)x: Juyeon has a solid point

starbucks tissues: agreed !

lino: this is why I hired juyeon he’s so smart

hyun: are you all purposefully forgetting the time sangyeon fooled him into thinking he had some strange wild disease

lino: hmm on any other day I'd clown him for it but you’re more clownable today so I'll just ignore that

starbucks tissues: I like juyeon more than you so I'm ignoring it too <3

fel(e)x: ^^^^^^^^^

hyun: brb gonna jump off the third floor

[nicknellie]

I hope that this didn’t take too much time to do so that you were able to get your schoolwork!! This is definitely after the fact but I wish you the best of luck with your work.

(Accidentally forgot to answer about Reggie having a box similar to Rose’s so I’m going to do that briefly)

1. Unlike Rose’s box which was going to be used by someone else Reggie’s was just going to be used by himself also probably only looked at by the rest of Sunset Curve so he probably didn’t think/care about what it was going to look like.

2. The fact that Reggie would go to Luke’s parents and ask for baby pictures is perfection. Also the fact that he just casually stole a box of baby photos and or has pictures of a random baby (if it’s not Bobby) is hilarious and I was laughing so hard at that.

3. Yes, and that would explain that why Reggie didn’t recognize the box at first just because it was a mindless one he made, maybe not even one of his boxes that he put thought into it (what photos/items should I use ect) but just random stuff

Now onto this post (just starting at 2 so the numbers line up)

2. Yes, maybe the guys don’t even get a chance to ask him what’s wrong but Reggie randomly blurts this out and then about five minutes later they’re all crying. Bobby forces all of them to talk, even Alex.

3. Yes that’s exactly what I mean! Just because although he does have his moments of indecisiveness he’s mostly not really an indecisive person so once he believes in some thing he stands with it 100%. For sure, if someone (usually Alex) points out why/how he was wrong Luke will admit that he was wrong (depending on the reasoning it’s mostly begrudgingly)

4. You took the words right out of my mouth and I also love the fact that you said that it’s usually when he’s writing and not in general, because I feel like outside of writing Luke tries to be as conscious as he can about his bandmates well-being and stuff. (‘Luke, once again you are not a solo artist if that was the case then Reggie would already have a country album out and me and Bobby would make our own little band of ourselves just to spite you’ Alex at some point)

5. Alex definitely has quick wit, however a lot of time he just doesn’t say it (unless it’s the boys)

6. Oh, that’s just hurtful thinking about that. After they passed Bobby was never the same, especially since everything that he loved and did had so many memories of the boys that for the longest time he couldn’t do some of them without thinking of them. Also when he went to the garage he was so overwhelmed with memories and the fact that they would never be anymore Sunset Curve memories.

8. Yes, I love that so much. Also I think part of the reason why the police alerted Emily and Mitch was because Luke was supposed to be a missing person so once Bobby confirmed that the body was Luke’s that’s when they were reached out too (long shot but just thinking)

The Rubik’s cube aw, maybe that’s the one thing that Bobby took just to remember them (a drawing of Reggie’s and a small jigsaw of Alex’s)

10. The theme park idea is genius, and I love the detail of Reggie feeling like a proud parent although the boys would gladly go onto a ride that Reggie is comfortable with (for some reason he loves roller coasters as long as they up closer to the ground, with being afraid of heights definitely not not something that goes up high). However Reggie doesn’t want to be a problem and has no issue watching them for a ride or two, hence the feeling of being like a parent.

Yes, and although Alex can tell that it’s a lie, Reggie gets rather emotional about it. (Reggie might have been the one who gave him the drink with the 6 shots of toffee nut and burst out into tears upon realizing)

11. That’s exactly what they are like, I feel like people may be able to tell that Reggie is lying however that’s a normal thing that he does so he easily could not be. (He is)

Luke “where is your kitchen by the way?” Patterson is the great thing I’ve seen. (yes Bobby is so causal to a point that it’s very obvious that it’s not causal hence for it being easy to tell that he’s lying)

13. Phew, wasn’t sure if I would be able to get the link to work or not so I’m glad that it was! (They are so talented, and that is such a great drawing of Reggie in my opinion)

Line dancing, yes also they random break out into square dancing. (Also the boys in cowboy hats and cowboy boots, all the fashion, is an image that I never thought I would need in my life)

14. I’m glad that you liked it! Also yess, also I just want to see one of the boys kind of make fun of Caleb with the devil point of view (bonus points if ‘nick’ is there and has to see everything)

Also I completely forgot to comment this last time, but Reggie is a huge Johnny Cash fan and those three songs are his favorite from the artist. (They are the most played songs and whenever the other boys hear them they are so done but eventually start singing along)

15. Also just randomly has Star Wars characters in the drawing, for the longest time a small Han-solo is what he used instead of a signature.

16. Wait yes I love that. I wasn’t thinking along those lines but that’s exact what happens. Reggie would also be the one who always tried to eat the batter (as does Luke and technically they are both banned from the kitchen)

17. Oh my goodness young Alex. I completely agree with what you said, also picturing a baby Alex with frosting all over his face from baking gone wrong

19. Yes, also Reggie randomly has the boys join him for dancing in the rain (thought of that due to the fact that you said rain is relaxing so Reggie would just always want to be out in the rain but not when it’s storming)

20. This is literally it’s the mindset of anyone who meets Alex

Even Willie gets on board, especially when he fell off his board (worst line I’ve ever said but Willie would be the pun making type of person)

Also if it was for anyone else then Emily and Mitch wouldn’t let them however since it’s Alex exactly as you said ‘boys let’s get in the car’

21. Yes, Alex always randomly shows up. Even has his own key for whenever he needs to stay there but no one is around, honestly Mitch doesn’t have a lot of characteristics (I mean the song is mostly focused on Luke’s mom and stuff) so him being a supportive father figure is everything

23. Agreed, I want all of this. Honestly anything and everything Rose is needed

24. I just want more performances from both actors because they are fantastic. Also the fact that Flying Solo didn’t have Flynn singing at all was a lost opportunity to be honest. Not sure if you’ve seen lemonade mouth however with Flynn as their rapper they would be that band

Willie and Alex singing together is everything I need, just a duet needs to be in season 2. Also we were robbed of them dancing and I blame Caleb, so them dancing is also needed in season two.

Exactly, Flynn is so loyal and we need more of her (also her and Carrie moments)

25. I agree I think it took him sometime to go to therapy. (Possibly when he had Carrie just because he didn’t want to fail as a father and thought it would help him stress less about being a father, also raising a kid with no support from his friends that would’ve definitely helped out)

26. Wait yes, I want to see all of this as well. Especially him explaining his actions and apologizing, and that idea of him being their manger is brilliant. Going on with that, just like with Sunset Curve he books the gigs and stuff and Flynn is their social media manger (just because she can not be apart of the band somehow)

27. I didn’t think about that fully but yes, the fact that Julie is getting older and he’s not would definitely hurt him

28. I love those songs titles, we also have ‘if you wake me up at 4AM again it will not be nice’ ‘Bobby I don’t care how much I love your pieces if you keep leaving your yarn in random places I will scream’

30. Yes, yes, that is precisely what happens and the only way Ray should find out that the boys are ghosts. Tia Victoria does react that and her and Alex bonding is everything (also her and Willie bonding because)

31. There are so many ruined photos and Reggie being so upset about it which is exactly what causes Bobby to master the skill.

32. Alex always has about five stickers, some that are for Reggie and a handful that fans also give to Alex because they can. Legitimately Sunset curves fan base is so supportive and one of the best boy band fan base ever. Luke was once given a portrait of the bandmembers as animals and it is probably framed somewhere, also Bobby has one that someone painted of the band. Honestly the reason why Alex was probably given a jigsaw is because Reggie randomly said that he liked them to a fan and they just had to give one to Alex.

34. Yes, Luke also got stuck in a fridge once much to everyone’s confusion. Him randomly being in a suit of armour is the greatest thing I have ever heard

35. Willie is extremely photogenic, yes. Legitimately Reggie has so many pictures of Willie and Alex and Willie being photogenic has just cause Reggie to take even more. And once this discovery is made, on the photography account there’s a lot more photos of someone skateboarding (also just in general photos of Willie). Just photo shoots with Reggie, like everyone has had one at some point (even Carlos)

37. Alex just gives Julie a massive hug, all of the time and especially when she is sad. Also she definitely takes that hoodie, all of them take his hoodies. Legitimately by this point it’s not just Alex‘s clothes it is the bands (also Flynn has a hoodie) (Willie has takes hoodies)

39. Wait yes, (possibly could’ve been Trevor who gave Carrie that idea for costumes because he remembers when Sunset Curve did). All of those colours fit so well, also I can kind of see Bobby is yellow. They definitely have matching onesies, like two or three pairs to be honest.

Best photo ever, that is exactly what they look like

40. Alex teaching Willie how to dance is adorable and I’m just thinking about how cute that would be. Due to seeing Willie dance during ‘the other side of Hollywood’ Alex thinks that he would be able to waltz pretty well (at least be a better beginner than the rest of the band who can’t dance) and then is mistaken very quickly

This is just me saying the boys about 100 times because I can’t say three names together apparently 😂😂

You know the drill, under the keep reading 😂

I did manage to do my school work thankfully! We won’t mention the fact that I handed in every single piece late, but I don’t really think that’s my fault, it’s theirs for not explaining how all this was going to work. Anyway! Not the point! I keep getting so excited to respond to these lmao let’s gooo!

1. Yeah exactly, he was probably more concerned with just finding something to hold all his random bits and pieces. Or I just thought right now it could be like not just a “normal box” but maybe like an old case for his bass? Like he got a nice newer one and needed something to do with the older one, and it had locks so that was handy, so he just uses it for that. Or another type of less boring box maybe idk

2. Lmao yeah I laughed so hard when I came up with it and I like I totally think he would! Like if he couldn’t find real Bobby photos (I reckon there weren’t many anyway) then he just got those and Bobby was like “Reggie that baby looks nothing like me” and Reggie just shrugs like “close enough”

3. Yeah exactly! As if he’s only just starting to make the box and is putting whatever in it, not just the things that mean something

Ok now non-box-related stuff lol

2. Yesss omg I love that. They’re just in the middle of playing through a song and Alex notices that Reggie is slowly dropping out and turning distant and he stops drumming (which makes the other two stop playing as well) but before any of them can ask Reggie what’s up he just kind of explodes. Tears all round, mostly Luke because he’s so guiltily relieved it’s not just him feeling like this

3. Totally! Alex points out all the logical stuff and Luke is just frowning the whole time like a furious puppy, and when Alex is finished he just says “right Luke?” and Luke just keeps scowling but nods at him. Doesn’t work if Reggie or Bobby try it, it does work when Julie does it, and surprisingly also works when Willie does it (because Willie is really good at reading people, as seen with Alex, so he knows how to approach any situation like that)

4. Yes exactly Luke is so caring (like in ep 7 when Alex is practically attacking his drums and he just gives a quick “hey Alex you alright?”) it’s just sometimes he lets his passion get in the way, that’s usually where music comes in! And omg that’s so perfect lmaooo I live for Alex kindly telling Luke off to get him back on track I love it

5. Yeah he knows the boys won’t take him seriously but he’s more careful around other people - the first time he says something sarcastic to Julie that he meant as a joke he worries for like a split second but then she immediately comes back with something terrible (because we all know Julie is terrible at comebacks and does not have Alex’s quick wit) and from then on they have this friendly-mean banter going back and forth between them

6. Yes exactlyyy 🥺😭 I feel like he went back to the garage once and then either he couldn’t make himself go back there ever again OR he couldn’t make himself leave for a long time and stayed there alone for days on end - either way he suffered a lot, being alone with his thoughts and his guilt. He started trying to talk to the boys - like Julie talking to her mum when she runs out of the Orpheum in ep 9. “I don’t know if you can hear me guys, but I am so sorry. I’m sorry I let you down, that I wasn’t there, that I can’t make this right. I miss you so much and... I don’t know what I’m ever going to do without you.”

8. Ohhh yes that makes way more sense actually, I like that a lot! They probably just passed Bobby as he was leaving the morgue and they were coming in to see Luke and that hurts to think about actually oh god. And yesss he so took the Rubik’s Cube and for a long time he would fiddle with it when nervous; he never managed to solve it though, not even once

10. Yes definitely!! He loves rides like the Spinning Teacups (or whatever variation they have at the theme park of that ride) and it’s Luke who will sit out on that one because the spinning makes him feel ill. He’s less happy to sit out than Reggie is because he worries he’ll miss out on the fun, but he’d rather not vomit everywhere. Now it looks like I’m going off on a theme park tangent so I’m just gonna let it happen - Alex adores rides, there’s nothing he won’t go on. Like he’s unafraid even though people would expect them to hate it but he knows they’ve been tested and they’re safe so he’s more than happy to spend all day on the biggest rides. Bobby likes water-based rides and logflumes and stuff like that - they always make sure they go on those at the end of the day because they have to do it for Bobby but they don’t want to walk around soaking wet all day. Reggie likes getting/taking photos with all the dressed up mascots wandering around, Luke is thrilled by any interactive rides (except ghost trains because we’ve already established he hates horror movies and he thinks it’s like being in a horror movie), Alex also really enjoys just wandering around the big park and seeing people have a good time, and Bobby actually likes co-ordinating their day and making sure everyone gets to do what they want to

Yes I can totally see that! Like Reggie somehow didn’t know what one of his best friends was allergic to and felt so guilty afterwards. It’s a sore spot, they can’t bring it up or he’ll just start crying and hugging Alex for hours on end. Reggie will say “I’m so sorry Alex I could have killed you that day!” and Alex just goes “dude we all died anyway”

11. With Reggie it always turns into a game of “is he lying or is this actually some totally messed up thing he really did?” The most difficult time anyone’s ever had to figure it out was when he said he’d met Queen Elizabeth - like yeah it’s unlikely but it’s definitely the sort of thing Reggie would somehow accidentally do so??? (It was a lie, but not on purpose - he thought he had met her but it was just some random old lady at a store)

13. Omg yes!!! I feel like they just get bored during the day and Luke would just go “hey Reggie, come and Dosey Doe with me” and it would turn into all four of them dancing around the studio. And yes I think out of all the unlikely things I want in season 2 full cowboy outfits is very high up on my list

14. Ahskfldo YES Nick witnessing the entire thing!! Assuming lifers still can’t see the boys next season it’ll be so funny if Nick can see them because obviously he’s actually Caleb so he has to mentally restrain himself from reacting at all to them mocking him because he can’t reveal himself. So it’s just Nick shaking with anger and Julie saying “Nick? You okay?” and how biting back something mean about the boys and growling “fine” instead. And yes 100% Reggie plays those songs on repeat and the guys pretend to hate them but they can’t deny good music when they hear it so they do join in

15. THAT IS THE CUTEST THING EVER OMG THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT! A tiny Han Solo in the corner of every piece, no matter if it’s Star Wars or not omg I love it I will never get over this

16. Yes lmao both of them are trying to sneak around Alex and duck under his arms to get at the batter and he’s just like “GUYS I am literally using an electric whisk, are you trying to get your fingers chopped off? Don’t even answer that, you’re banished from the kitchen, goodbye. Go annoy Bobby instead”

17. That is so cute omfg and like all over his clothes and in his hair. He just looks an utter mess but he’s smiling so wide and is the cutest baby ever (he was easily the cutest baby out of Sunset Curve, Reggie as a close second)

19. Wait yes I love that! Reggie’s just like “y’know it’s a lovely day outside d’you want to go dance with me” and Alex just goes “Reg it’s tipping it down. Of course” and it takes a while but Luke and Bobby eventually join them. Lots of splashing in puddles because the four of them are literal children and think it’s funny

20. That is the greatest thing ever andkdllf and I love how that was literally my reaction after episode 1 of the show too like wow Alex really is just that lovable. That pun as well I literally laughed out loud - I’ve reblogged/added to a post a while ago where I said Reggie and Willie communicate with each other only in ghost puns so I wholeheartedly support that. And exactly! If Luke suggested throwing eggs at anyone else’s house he would be sent to his room but he mentions it’s the Mercers’ and Emily just goes “I think we’re out of eggs, I’ll need to go shopping first, come on”

21. Yes omg idk why but the image of Alex having his own key is the sweetest thing ever - maybe because it symbolises him finally having a place to call home?? And yes I totally agree, Mitch doesn’t have a lot of characteristics (I wrote a massive list before where I made a load of headcanons about him because he didn’t have enough screen time lol) and he would develop so much if he took Alex under his wing

24. Omg yes you read my mind! She so should have had a verse in Flying Solo! Like thinking about it it’s totally plausible that Julie read her the poem before and Flynn, being Flynn, wanted to add her own verse about how much she loves Julie and how she’ll always be there for her! Or she could have at least like added harmonies or something?? Idk it’s just that Flynn is in the music program too and frankly I’d like to see her do a little more music. And I haven’t seen Lemonade Mouth but I did see a commentary video about it on YouTube (I think it was I’M LEMONADE MOUTH by Danny Gonzalez if you’re interested (but that might not be the title idk)) and if I’m remembering it right then YES absolutely! And yes exactly Willie would have danced with him if Caleb hadn’t made him leave! I’m still really angry about that because just think about how much fun they would have had together!!!!

25. Omg yes! I love that, I agree that it was because of Carrie being born that made him finally go. He wanted to be strong for her now that he finally had a second (third I guess?) chance at getting family life right and he knew he wasn’t in the right state of mind for it. And omg that mental image 🥺 if the boys had lived they would have been Uncle Luke, Uncle Alex, and Uncle Reggie to Carrie (and possibly even to Julie if they stayed friends with Rose too) and they would have raised her and maybe she would have grown up to be a little nicer and she and Julie and Flynn would have all stayed friends 🥺😭

26. Yes yes yes!! He gets back into his role of managing the band and even though the boys haven’t totally forgiven him he still finds himself able to write good music again and make jewellery again and he steps foot in the garage for the first time in decades because he has his band back and he feels so much happier and freer and he’s just ecstatic to have another chance!

28. Lmfao yes those are perfect! “Bobby I don’t care how much I love your pieces if you keep leaving your yarn in random places I will scream” was written after Reggie tripped over a bit of yarn that was somehow stretched all the way across the garage like a trap and when he fell he somehow managed to get totally tangled up in in

30. Omg yeah I can totally see her and Willie bonding!! I feel like Willie is kind of like an old soul and can just get along with everyone but he takes a special liking to Victoria for whatever reason and loves finding ways to talk to her

32. Yes! Sunset Curve just have the nicest, friendliest fan base and everyone is kind and respectful and all they want to do is give them stickers and fanart! Luke absolutely adores that portrait omg so Reggie and Luke would be puppies, I feel like Bobby could be a cat, and Alex would be something like an owl or something idk but they just are all captured as whatever the perfect animal for them and it’s adorable. Yeah you’re right I think Reggie just likes talking to fans and casually mentions it one day and the fans show up to the next gig with a 1000-piece puzzle for Alex

34. In a fridge omg I love it that’s brilliant. The boys laughed at him for a solid hour before helping him get out

35. Yes to all of that I love it!!! I also thought about Ray helping out - like he can’t see Reggie, but he goes along to all these photoshoots (and mostly can’t see who they’re taking pictures of either) and helps with angles and lighting and says well done to Reggie whenever he does a good job - Ray can’t see but Reggie smiles so wide at that

37. Ahsklfskdlfl yeah Alex has no hoodies left because they’ve all gone to a different band member or Flynn or Willie

39. YES OH MY GOD. When Carrie was just starting Dirty Candi she was saying about how she needed something to make them stand out and Trevor just immediately said “matching outfits, colour co-ordinated” without even thinking about it

40. Oh absolutely - but at some point Alex has to wonder if Willie is tripping so often because he can’t dance or so that Alex is forced to catch him. Willie is very eager to learn how to do lifts and stuff like that (even though it’s been years since even Alex did them) and he thinks it’ll be romantic. It is, but not because the lift is like this perfect moment, because it’s them messing up and being silly and just enjoying each other’s company 🥺

Not gonna lie this whole post might be my favourite we’ve made so far 😂

[slutabed]

I wasn’t going to watch Advanced Dungeons & Dragons since I didn’t even know about it until like a month ago but I’m weak so I watched it and holy fuck that is a dark episode even for Community

Jeff just getting furious at Pierce without an ounce of humor behind it and Neil legitimately crying like what the fuck they didn’t really need to do all that. Like this wasn’t even classic Community-levels of emotion, this just fucking hurt. And yeah most of my complaints about Community episodes come from the fact that it’s a sitcom and so is only the length of a sitcom, but I feel like they definitely needed Jeff to have a moment with Neil at the end? And also Jeff “Body Image” Winger coming up with the nickname “Fat Neil” probably would have been a thing to address??? Fuck I don’t even know I just felt so sad for Neil the whole time.

just constantly feeling like a fucking hypocrite because I’m fat positive/body positive and all for reclaiming fat for just the descriptive word that it is but fuck when it’s used as an insult like that even against a character it shrinks me right down to childhood and adolescence never feeling good enough because I was fatter than all of my friends and I just want to cry with Neil because fuck. what the fuck.

Fuck. That like...wasn’t a fun episode at all lol. It honestly started out as one of the funnier episodes I’ve seen in a while, between Jeff’s reaction to Britta saying he’s bad at sex to the whole Annie-and-Abed sex scene, but it just got so fucking dark and sad I don’t know if it even balances out. I can’t even tell if I’m overreacting or just projecting my own body image issues but like fuck dude. 

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-05-19

Figured an upd8 was coming, it’s felt like enough time has passed for one.

Huh, looking at my last post I’d completely forgotten I was supposed to play through Pesterquest sometime... work is busy and stressing me out a bit, I’m not sure when I’ll have the energy on the side to do that.  (Maybe I’ll livetweet it like I did Undertale a while ago, but this time not looking at my twitter replies so I don’t get spoiled by One Guy™?)

Also, including bonus commentary on A Threat Sensed.

Okay, going in completely blind.  I’d guessed from context that we’re hopping over to Meat side to get a chapter there before we can come back to actually see Yiffy?

Yep.  Okay, what is this about exactly?

(Agh, dammit, I’ve been copying and pasting so much at work remoting into Windows lately that now I’m automatically trying to hit control-C instead of command-C to copy.)

> CHAPTER 9. How Goes The Eulogizing, Dear?

CONTENT NOTE: This chapter contains Child Abuse.

Which one???

Wait

JANE: (Where is he?) JANE: (It's a question I've found myself asking many times in recent days.)

Holy SHIT we get two Candy chapters in a row???  So we might see her right away??  No, it’s gotta just be another tiny glimpse.

(Has two Candy chapters in a row happened before?  Future Boots, scroll back up and put this here. FUTURE BOOTS: “I forgot to scroll back up and put that here.” EDIT: Also, not the first time with two in a row, but it IS the first time with THREE in a row, huh.)

So Jane has to be talking about either Tavros or Dave.  --Oh, if this was a Candy Side chapter title, I guess Rose or Jade is eulogizing Dave for John?

> (==>)

JANE: (Where now is our merry savior?) JANE: (Where is the horn that was honking?) JANE: (Where is the cape and the codpiece, and the...) JANE: (The...) JANE: (Oh, fiddlesticks.)

What?  Is she reading a childrens’ book?  --Oh.  She’s eulogizing Gamzee.  So that gives us a third option, where the rebellion crashes the funeral somehow, probably audiovisually rather than in person.  (Which would make sense, given Candy practically began with Gamzee crashing Dirk’s funeral.)

> (==>)

Ah never mind, she’s still writing it.

That sure is a single button drama-remote that’s going to be pressed at some point.  Oh, and who the fuck keeps a spork in a pen cup???  --No no, don’t say it’s one of those pens with a spork at the eraser end, either ready-made or rubber-banded to the side.  That would make sense.  You totally know it isn’t that and is just a spork.

JANE: (Okay, poetry is out.) JANE: (What else?) JANE: (Hrm...) JANE: (I've always been pretty good at crying on cue.) JANE: (Could I try staging an emotional breakdown?) JANE: (That could work; playing to people's humanity.)

Why were you crying in Jake’s arms about his death if you didn’t care that much?  Did you just want him to hold you and kinda make him feel in on things again?  Or did you just cry yourself out about him?

JANE: (Or whatever is the more inclusive term.)

I bet the rest of Earth C figured out a more inclusive term millenia ago FUCK I accidentally added millennia to my dictionary misspelled instead of correcting it hold on--

...There, killed the entry for it.  ...Huh.  Take a look at my Chrome dictionary’s custom-added words over the years, apparently:

Caliborn Eridan Kanaya Matriorb Meenah Tavros alchemiter dichotomic nephilim reblogged uncaptchalogues uncaptchaloguing

That’s fun.

Okay back to reading. Millennia.  Phew!  Where was I.

JANE: (One really good and calculated weep could do it, I think.) JANE: (But then there's the danger that I might get carried away and do it for real.) JANE: (And I can't risk that.)

So still feeling something, just too used to calculating over the past years.

JANE: (What can I say about him that will stir up their emotions?) JANE: (Do I mention the stuff about the milk?) JANE: (Think Crocker, think.)

WHY would you-- how much did Gamzee normalize adult breastfeeding?!

JAKE: Ahoy over there!

Not the best time.

(The thing with the divorce papers from the Epilogue and John implying he was planning with Jake to execute something that sounds like a divorce... is that going to be sprung here?  Did her lawyers send the divorce papers way back when she was in a fit of pique, and he just had them available to sign now at the tactical moment? Or... let me pull the exact text...)

JOHN: now, harry anderson, i know that you and tavros haven't always gotten along. JOHN: but i am going to have to ask you to try and look out for him for the time being. JOHN: your uncle jake and i... well, i'll explain later. JOHN: let's just say that gamzee isn't the only family member jane is losing today.

(So is John going to submit the papers? Or did they already go through a while ago and default custody to John or something who’s going to adopt him too or some nonsense?  And did he plan this out with Jake NOW, or a while ago, and if only a while ago, is Jake going to KNOW whatever John’s about to pull in that respect is about to happen??)

> (==>)

Butte

Janepalme

> (==>)

JAKE: Er... how goes the eulogizing, dear?

Gah.  I completely forgot again that capitalized-first-letter chapter names don’t mean KANAYA is saying them.  That probably makes a lot more sense out of my wondering about the chapter title earlier to those of you who didn’t realize I was making that mistake.

JANE: It turns out that it's mighty difficult to find touching things to say about a person, the relationship with whom was predicated on deep-seated mutual loathing.

Hah!

--A loathing you regarded as largely more important to you than Jake ever was, by the way.  You asshole.

JANE: I imagine this is one of the reasons no funerary tradition was ever established on Alternia, besides the barbarism of their culture. DIRK: Jesus christ. JANE: Not only did a significant proportion of their interpersonality depend on romance in the form of hatred, but it was a society based on cruelty and violence. JANE: What reason could they have had to provide for the dead? JANE: What kind of last rites could they have even imagined?

I wondered for a moment why (bg!)Dirk of all people would react to a single line of her starting to bring up prejudices, but then I realized that (1) Brain Ghost Dirk is a little more Jakey, and (2) Dirk knew that more ranting would follow the first line.

JANE: I can't think of anything good to write about him because deep down, I hated his guts. JANE: But he was and is beloved of the multitude, so I have to think of something regardless. JAKE: Im not sure i understand. JANE: Don't worry your pretty little head about it. JANE: This is politics, Jakey. JANE: Lying through your two front teeth about people you hate is about as good a definition as it's possible to get. JANE: But, by gum, is it tiring work.

Mm.  It’s a position Jane put herself in, but it’s still a legitimate position once you’re there.

JANE: The funeral is tomorrow, after all.

Got it.

DIRK: Dude, the bowl. JAKE: Hm? JAKE: Oh, right. JANE: What is it now, Jake. JAKE: I brought something for our guest as well. JANE: You mean the prisoner. JAKE: Y...es.

Wait, bowl?

Oh god damnit which of you had the idea to feed her with a DOG BOWL.  Either of you could have thought of it, and either of you would be horrible for it.

> (==>)

Huh, that outfit on Yiffy looks familiar, like a reference to something.  And a black tail?  This definitely isn’t quite the look I was expecting from Jade Plus Rose, but I suppose the snazzy tie is a Roseish vibe.  Also reminiscent of Jade’s old Dead Shuffle dress.  Formal wear and soccer cleats??

JANE: She's over in the corner. JANE: Don't worry, she won't bite. JANE: I've seen to that already.

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN.  I don’t see anything over her mouth!  Did she stick something in it, or drug her?  File her fucking teeth???

I mean I did forget the Child Abuse trigger warning to be fair.  Hoping whatever would be on her mouth is just not shown in-panel yet for stylistic reasons.

> (==>)

JAKE: Its only mac and cheese, sorry. JAKE: Its all I know how to make, haha. JAKE: ... JAKE: I um... hope you can safely partake of cheese? JAKE: ... JAKE: Well, JAKE: Bon appetit.

How the fuck did Jake eat on his island then?  --Oh right, preserved food cans that Grandma Jade stored up, I think I remember.  Why would cheese not be a thing for them, if it’s fine for Jade?  I know he’s probably not just worried about lactose intolerance.

Either way, if she’s drugged here, that’ll mean we won’t get a good idea of her for a while, so which is it...

> (==>)

DIRK: Bon appetit. DIRK: Seriously dude? JAKE: (What? Did i pronounce it wrong?) DIRK: Jake. DIRK: You put the food in a fucking dog bowl. JAKE: (It was all there was, ok???) JAKE: (I feel awful enough as it is without you getting on my case about it.)

Ah, missed the bone pun.  AND, yeah, Jake, you’re a fucking idiot, you could have put it in a cup or something.

JAKE: (So far ive yet to see anything come of that brilliant plan of yours.) JAKE: (Are you sure sending that message to the others was enough?)

Okay, so he IS coordinating this slightly.

> (==>)

Horrifying image to contemplate, eh Jane?

Or anger-inducing?

> (==>)

Seems about right!

> (==>)

Oh that’s a GREAT exasperated Jane face.

JANE: I hope you're not expecting dessert, young lady.

I like how Jane didn’t notice, comment on, or care about the bowl.  How can you hate a kid so much??

> (==>)

Oh I know why I felt like I recognized the outfit style, it’s because it’s ANIME AS FUCK.  Feels like some Persona 4 Arena nonsense, and I say that not having played any of those games or even remembering what they looked like.  Also, white hair, black fur’d dog parts?  Nice change of pace.

YIFFY: GRRRRRRRRR... JANE: Oh no you don't.

Red text?  What color exactly... “#D00009”?  Huh.  That’s nowhere near Alt-Callie’s #FF0000, and darker than Dave’s #E00707.  In fact, let me go back and check those spilled color pins the commentary pointed out from an update or two ago...  no, the red pin is #E63225, closer to Dave’s color.  (Also, is Yiffy blocking the doorway out?  That’s a pretty slack chain then.)

Did Jane see to it that she wouldn’t bite with like, a water spray bottle?

(EDIT: Oh my FUCKING GOD, THAT's why it's #D00009...)

> (==>)

FUCK I didn’t notice the shock collar in the Yiffy image!  FUCK YOU, Jane.

> (==>)

Keeping someone in line with collars, especially ones that punish whenever one strays out of line, has always been a decent way for her to mix in some Doomy control of others to show how she’s “grown” to balance her main role and her Tiara-controlled-like inverse for more power.  Doom in part represents boundaries that you can’t cross without getting hurt or punished.

> (==>)

FUCK, those little buck teeth!?  D’:

JANE: That's more like it.

She HAS to have more of a reason for hating her than hating her parents, right?  Like, more than that and general racism applying to partdogfolk?

> (==>)

Hey fuck off with that!

> (==>)

This is a pretty cool ima-- are those piercings on her dog ear?  I didn’t notice that in the first shot, neat.

JANE: You've been a thorn in my side ever since I agreed to enroll you at the academy, little madam. JANE: Back then, I was doing a favor for two old friends who made a disgusting mistake. JANE: I'm no longer going to play nice with you just because of your parents, however. JANE: That truce is over. JANE: Do I make myself understood?

What the fuck?  WHY would you do that?  Why does Jane run "Ms. Paint’s Home for Inconvenient Girls”?  What did Yiffy do to piss her off so much there, how much trouble could she have caused?

I don’t know if she’s referring to the behind-Kanaya’s-back part as disgusting or she’s just being MORE racist.

> (==>)

JANE: We don't want you passing out during the ceremony, do we?

Oh, just showing the hostage off during the clown funeral, huh?  Classy much?

> (==>)

JANE: Now, be a good hostage and get some rest, Yiffany dear. JANE: We've got a big day tomorrow.

For a politician, Jane’s not good at looking at herself in a mirror.

> (==>)

JANE: Night night. JANE: Hoo hoo.

> (Yiffy: Lights out.)

Huh, dream stuff is gonna be relevant out in Candy then? *click*

Okay, dark background all of a sudden.  Properly dramatic?  You even have to highlight the non-link “>” part of the Next link to see it.

> (==>)

-- thespiansGlamor [TG] began pestering adamantGriftress [AG] --

Well, I don’t know WHY it’s happening, but the white-backed pesterlog suddenly on the dark site framing is certainly evocative.  Of like, a mood, or something.

TG: i thought he was pretty quiet down there. TG: we'll make a rebel of him yet! AG: Lol. AG: I think it's more that he can't sleep. AG: I know how he feels. TG: yeah. TG: today was a lot. AG: ... TG: do you wanna talk about it? AG: Ugh, not you as well.

It’s really jarring to transition between Homestuck’s “kids jarringly mentally resistant to freaking out about the end of the world” to HS^2′s more realistic “kids traumatized by their first firefight even though it was an overwhelming victory-escape”.

TG: but seriously, do you? AG: Not really. TG: not even about... you know? TG: her? AG: No. TG: ... are you sure? AG: A8solutely. AG: What are you, my moirail? AG: Just leave it, Harry. TG: ok.

Are they about to have an “I wonder what Yiffy’s like” talk?

> (==>)

Very similar Tav/Vrissy convo to the previous one.

GG: I havent ever shared a bedroom before,,, GG: Not even for a slumber party,,, AG: Tavvy, you are just a8out the saddest person I've ever met.

Well, we have an even better idea how horrible Jane can be with kids, now.  From Nanna to THIS is quite jarring.  I wonder how the double Nannasprites that must still be around here somewhere feel?

> (==>)

TG: nothing about my dad is cute. TG: what are you even saying. AG: Lmao. TG: seriously! TG: i think he has something against that word, even. he gets super weird about it. AG: He's a strange and funny m8n. TG: yeah. TG: ... TG: i think something bad must have happened.

...um.  What?  Why would John have some sort of trauma about the word cute or being called it?

Did John dress up as a hint of his buried June ambitions as a kid and Dad lavish him with “SO CUTE” praise in an epic supportiveness backfire that caused him to shelve the idea of wearing non-masc clothes and being happier on the flipside of gender ever again???  Because if that’s how June gets canonized as promised, it’s a little harsher than the back of my mind was hoping.  I guess it kind of had to be though from the premise of how it was read into his childhood for the original idea, though.  Fuck, I hope this Cute business is about something different from that (like a Terezi reference or such) just to get less John Sads.  (But still June.  Definitely still want to get June.)

> (==>)

Oh, and now Vrissy is doing nothing but talking about what she said she didn’t want to talk about, of course.  (Also I like how JANE’s now being called the Batterwitch.)

AG: And the worst part was they didn't even fight a8out it! AG: That made me madder than 8nything else. AG: It felt like I was the only person who even W8S mad! GG: I dont think thats true,,, AG: What would you know a8out it?! GG: Maybe nothing,,, GG: Sorry,,, GG: Its just,,, GG: To me,,, all the way through the conversation,,, aunt kanaya looked even angrier than you,,, AG: ... AG: Adults are so fucking weird.

Guh, I don’t want to be reminded how hurt a good chunk of the fanbase is by Kanaya getting hurt this badly.

Original Tavros was always SLIGHTLY perceptive of others sometimes, but maybe perceptiveness is being hinted at as a Tavros specialty?  We still don’t know his classpect/hero-title or have any firm guesses based on purely him evidence.  (Also, frightened kids of abusive households tend to learn to get perceptive pretty fucking quickly I hear.)

> (==>)

TG: dad was sitting in the cafeteria with aunt jade and your moms. TG: it looked like they were discussing something important... they were whispering and stuff.

[etc etc] Alright, the what-happened-to-Dave bit.  And I imagine they’re kind of helping John grieve there, since Rose and Jade have talked that out already.

TG: aunt kanaya's was the only face i could see. TG: she was standing next to them, but she wasn't looking at what was going on. TG: almost like she couldn't bear to. AG: I doubt it. Kanaya's got a8out as much Emotivity as a very reclusive stone. TG: ok, i think that is bullshit but whatever. TG: she saw me standing there, but didn't say anything. she just shook her head slightly, and pointed back out into the hallway i came down.

Yep, giving them some space to grieve.  Also-- gosh, shouldn’t Vrissy have the same emotive senses that Aranea implied Vriska shared with her?  Kanaya isn’t that EXPRESSIVE but she’s certainly full of emotion.  Also, I hope part of her not bearing to watch wasn’t lingering anger toward Jade and Rose mixing with that, but there probably was a bit of that too, though Dave being gone is so much harsher than that. --I just realized they might not have broken the news to Karkat yet, either.

AG: I guesadxcxzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz TG: vrissy?

Put to sleep by someone slumping down on your phone keypad, or surprised by something about the other conversation?

Oh shit, “other conversation” reminded me I didn’t look at Tavros’s chumhandle:

glutinousGymnast [GG]

HHHHHhhhhuh.  Hm... huh? hhhh.  huh?  what, but.  Why would.  ?????

I really don’t understand what that chumhandle or any of its entendres should signify in this context.

Also, this means for our new four kids we have TG, GG, AG, and ??.

> (==>)

GG: I think she might have succumbed to sleep quite suddenly,,, GG: It would explain the,,,,,, interesting messages I've been getting for a while,,, TG: hehe. TG: i guess that tracks. TG: she does that from time to time.

That’s... strange.  Homestuck’s taught us to be suspicious of that.

TG: ... TG: tav? GG: Yes,,, harry anderson,,,? TG: what does it feel like to know someone who's died?

Who is Harry referring to? (EDIT: Yes I know Gamzee for Tavros, but I meant Harry talks like he's worried he'll have to feel that way soon?)  Is he just kind of inferring that something bad might have happened to Uncle Dave?  Got that perceptive “parents are about to tell me about a death in the family” vibe?  Or did he overhear more than he let on to Vrissy?

...alright, that’s the last page of this update.  Looks like this chapter is going to continue to have a good bunch of grieving, or talk around it.

---

Now for Bonus Commentary for A Threat, Sensed.  For some reason I have a dim memory of like... reading this myself without commenting on it?  Or skimming it?  But I’m pretty sure I didn’t do that.  Weird.  Must have imagined doing it.

Ah, I think I saw the opening paragraph scrolling Patreon, and my mind kinda filled in the blanks, this is still looking new to me.

Okay, mostly banter and japes in the commentary here.  About Dirk “throwing a huge tantrum in his philosophy cave”.

We’ve had quite a bit of speculation on whether this is “really” Andrew. To that, I think we’d say that it doesn’t “really” matter.

Really?  That was speculated about?  :/

Here we discover that Dirk has not, as some people have speculated, been directly intervening into the Candy timeline, or influencing it in any way. In fact, he has a very hard time seeing anything going on there at all.

Mhmm, and that was a pretty important thing to learn.

A couple of years ago I might have agreed with the take that everything happening in Candy is simply too outlandish to ever happen naturally, without direct, villainous interference, but that was before literally every fucking batshit insane thing that has happened on Real Life Earth started going down, and now I will believe literally anything. 

This is a nice bit of distraction from the idea that at least the opening parts of the Candy story were written/narrated by Original, Alive Calliope over on meat side.  To refresh your memory of what was pointed out to me:

ROXY: back when jade first got all effed up callie saw somethin and it made them freak out ROXY: it took me weeks to convince them that it was safe to come home ROXY: but now we got the opposite problem and they arent leavin the house at all ROXY: they stay home all day with the blinds drawn paintin some weird ass shit on the walls TEREZI: WH4T? ROXY: its not as bad as it sounds i promise ROXY: some of it is like ROXY: weird and violent?? ROXY: like lotsa nasty purple blood and um ROXY: nudity???? TEREZI: >:? ROXY: yeah yikes ROXY: but MOST of it is cute stuff like... various combos of all of us being happy and gettin married and shit ROXY: anyway thats kept callie kinda busy

Which tracks with the initial out-of-character-seemingness of almost everyone at the start of Candy, and how they kind of tried to railroad things back onto the “Happy??” track after Dirk derailed it with his weird self-accumulation suicide, along with some of the flowery-idyllic descriptions of characters seeing each other bathed in a halo of light and such.

Of course, they’re not going to out-and-out STATE that Calliope was at fault for that narration, helping the Candy story not necessarily fall out the way it did “naturally”, until we finally get a glimpse of her on the heroes’ ship in Meat probably still painting the continuing Candy events, inspiring them into the void of the singularity with her latent powers.  Til then, it’s a bit of misdirection whenever the topic is to be brought up.  Along with a mix of Roxy’s late-Candy point to John of more or less “why COULDN’T we have done this naturally? you don’t know”.

He might even think that he has more direct power over the narrative than Hussie does himself. Surprise, motherfucker, you are a fictional character. 

:p

I’ll quote this next part in full:

There’s been talk of whether or not this bonus was written in the two days between its release and the Yiffy reveal chapter. The answer is--no. It was written over a month ago. But I think the things it addresses were not difficult to suss out. Obviously, Dirk is highlighting the issues that the readership are having with Yiffy, in his typical Dirk fashion. If it seems a little defensive, well...I suppose it is. Yiffy is one of the two hard lines drawn in the sand, and all of us love her, and we’re hoping that everyone else will love her too. But more than that, it focuses on the fact that update culture has a rhythm to it--shock, revulsion, acceptance (or not), and then excitement (or not). Will it follow that pattern this time? Who knows. I guess we’ll find out. 

Yeah, given what was going to be dropped on us I expected they would have had exactly this lined up, especially because Andrew specifically mandated Yiffy.  --I wonder why they aren’t mentioning that somewhere in the commentary and only on one of their Twitters?

Also quoting this:

There’s something both incredibly “cringe” and self-indulgent, as well as philosophically intriguing, about the author arguing with his villain, especially since he’s writing both halves of the conversation himself. You are, for all intents and purposes, trying to solve a problem that you have created for yourself. You are looking an aspect of your personality in the eye and asking, hey, what the fuck, man?

But in the end, isn’t that what every story is? Trying to untie knots that you put in the rope yourself?

Since it’s part of the central struggle of this story, and kind of the question Andrew’s tried to imply with every Homestuck work about what right we have to keep these characters trapped in a story, and if they’d be better off escaping it.

I’m really trying to avoid quoting so much of this, since the commentary is paid...  but I think we can make an exception here?  I’ll have only quoted about half of it; just, the really plot-important half.  Plus, I left out a LOOOT of japes.

Dirk has a certain idea of how stories are supposed to go. That’s pretty much what the Epilogues is about. The audience also has a certain expectation of how a story is supposed to go. In a way, the Epilogues were also about that. They were taking a story that had reached the traditionally “acceptable” happily ever after, and saying, wait, no. What happens next? Thinking past happily ever after in any story is a terrifying prospect. Once Cinderella marries the prince, what then? Sure, she got what she wanted, but who knows that it will be everything she dreamt it would? What if she changes her mind, if not today, what about ten years from now? What if the prince dies of malaria? 

And I’m...

Yeah I don’t have anything else to add here, I’m kind of out of brain juice to think about this tonight.  BUSY day I had.  Y’all take care!

[thewebcomicsreview]

What’s that? I’m talking about Homestuck too much lately? Well, too bad, it updated and I’m-a livebloggin’ it. This chapter contains a content warning for child abuse and I’m thus putting the rest of this post below a Read More, though I’m live blogging and don’t know what the child abuse content actually is. 

Looks like we’re with Jane, so this might be the chapter with Yiffy in it! But probably not, because they’re gonna drag it out. Incidentally, since the rebellion consists of two max-level characters, four god tiers (John, Jake, Rose, and Jade), and now Vriska who is the 8est fighter 8y far, how does Jane even stand a chance? Good thing for her that she pre-emptively took a hostage! 

JANE: (I've always been pretty good at crying on cue.) JANE: (Could I try staging an emotional breakdown?) JANE: (That could work; playing to people's humanity.) JANE: (Or whatever is the more inclusive term.)

I do like that Jane, a genocidal human-supremacist dictator, is worried about being “inclusive” in her propaganda. I wonder if she’s starting to drift from Trumphitler into Nancy Pelosi, now. Also interesting: She’s apparently using Gamzee’s death for propaganda value, cool and all, but her superpower is literally raising the dead. I can buy that Jane would rather use her ex-boyfriend for propaganda than revive him, but won’t the people of Earth C have questions? 

DIRK: Dude, the bowl. JAKE: Hm? JAKE: Oh, right. JANE: What is it now, Jake. JAKE: I brought something for our guest as well. JANE: You mean the prisoner. JAKE: Y...es.

I realize that Yiffygate made the patreon rocket to the stratosphere, but I hope we’re not actually getting to see her so soon. It’s more fun to speculate. For instance, she’s apparently getting meals in a dog bowl. Is that because she’s literally half dog, moreso than Jade, and is feral in some way? That’s been hinted at a little, but it’s also possible Jane’s just tormenting her to be a bitch. As we saw when she was Crockerfied in Act 6, Jane’s got a bit of a sadistic streak in her.

Well, that was answered pretty fucking fast! Okay, let’s not click next just yet. If we’re only getting one panel to speculate, let’s milk it like a dying webcomic franchise: Preppy bording school outfit, but with cleats, so she’s apparently an athlete. Lots of pink highlights on her outfit (shoes/socks/tie). She’s got a black dog tail, but appears to have light hair? I like this design, actually, or what little of it we’re seeing. I was half-expecting Yiffy to be a full-on Deviantart parody, but I think the angle we’re going here is “a mostly normal girl, besides being part dog, who’s just been absolutely shit on by life and every adult she’s ever encountered”. It’s not her fault her name is Yiffany, y’know? She didn’t ask for this. 

Let’s see how right I am.

JANE: Well, go on then. JANE: She's over in the corner. JANE: Don't worry, she won't bite. JANE: I've seen to that already.

The fact that this chapter had a content warning for child abuse makes this read a lot more “Yikes” than it might’ve otherwise.

DIRK: Jake. DIRK: You put the food in a fucking dog bowl. JAKE: (It was all there was, ok???)

I feel like this is actually worse than if Jane put the food in a dog bowl to torment Yiffy.

I told you we’d fall in love with her. I told you dog.

....I don’t know if the MSPA art style lends itself to slightly raised camera angles like this, it looks like Yiffy’s face is 50% forehead. 

*Lore hat on*

Okay, first off, dick move electrocuting a child. That out of the way. Yiffy is communicating in wolf howls (she must be a big fan of Toast, from my webcomic Saffron and Sage!), but she’s also literally being electrocuted so lets cut her some slack. What’s more interesting is that her Awoos are in red. 

Vrissy shares a font color with Vriska, who she’s trying to emulate. They even use the same CSS class in the site code. Tavros shares his with Gamzee, his abusive uncle (and doesn’t have the same CSS class). Harry Anderson has a unique font color that’s pretty close to his dad’s, but isn’t quite the same (possible to make Harry/John chats more readable, whereas Vriska and Vrissy being hard to distinguish is the joke?). Yiffy, however, does not speak in either Jade’s green or Rose’s purple, she speaks in red. It’s a unique shade of red, I checked, and while it could potentially be in reference to Dave, let’s get real

Obviously, she’s the new Handmaid. This was obvious enough that I was making that comparison even before we learned her red text and rebellious personality. So I’m starting to see what they’re going for here (and, god help me, I’m starting to come around to Yiffany Longstocking Lalonde Harley as a concept). She’s not a one-dimensional joke of a character, she’s just a normal girl having a fucking rough time of it right now and also always. Speaking of time, red is connected to the Time aspect, which isn’t confirmation of anything but a little note to put in the back of your pocket.

Also to put in your back pocket, Jane’s the new Condesce and Yiffy’s the new Handmaid. The Condesce killed the Handmaid. 

JANE: You've been a thorn in my side ever since I agreed to enroll you at the academy, little madam. JANE: Back then, I was doing a favor for two old friends who made a disgusting mistake. JANE: I'm no longer going to play nice with you just because of your parents, however. JANE: That truce is over.

That’s some efficient expositing! 

Man, I really am coming around to this Yiffy thing, holy shit. I actually think her reveal last chapter was actively designed to get fans to hate the concept as much as possible, and not just from a Controversy Creates Ca$h kind of way (though that didn’t hurt).The entire fandom has been calling Yiffy a disgusting mistake for three weeks, and now here’s Jane doing it, and we’re being asked to consider this from Yiffy’s perspective: Given a stupid name as a joke, shunted off to boarding school by parents who were ashamed of her existence, repeatedly told she’s a disgusting mistake and tortured, even the fans all hate her on sight, and she literally hasn’t said a word yet! That’s....legitimately pretty cool writing, right there. A deft and entirely intentional juking of the fandom’s emotional state to get us to hate a character conceptually so that now when the comic’s trying to get us to sympathize with her it’s an easier sell because we feel a bit guilty. I dig it. Shit like this is why I still read Homestuck, it can be very clever at times, even now.

(Pierced ears, in case the punky aesthetic wasn’t obvious). Also, the page with a gif of everything going dark as Yiffy passes out has a black background, which is a nice touch.

TG: but seriously, do you? AG: Not really. TG: not even about... you know? TG: her? AG: No. TG: ... are you sure? AG: A8solutely. AG: What are you, my moirail? AG: Just leave it, Harry. TG: ok.

Then we cut to a chatlog (with the all-black background, which is just really nice here at selling the mood), and even Vrissy doesn’t want to talk about Yiffany.

AG: It was Cute, 8lright???????? AG: Or, at the very least, a 8*cketload less vomit worthy than everything else that Went Down with our parents.

She’s “vomit-worthy”

I think the update that introduced the Candy Kids was the most enjoyable, but this was, by miles, the best thing to come out of the Homestuck EU. It completely redeemed everything this comic did with Yiffy so far and made it all work. And this black-background-no-image gimmick, while simple, was shockingly effective at conveying the lonely empty mood they were going for (admittedly it probably helped that I was already listening to spooky music), and it’s something Homestuck had never done. This was....

This chapter was great. This was Act 5 great. Like, it’s literally just beating up a child for a whole chapter, but in terms of getting the emotional response they wanted, this is Homestuck at its absolute best. It wasn’t just “here’s a cute girl, let’s beat her up a bit for sympathy”, all the stuff in the last chapter, infuriating the fandom like nothing I’ve seen in webcomics in years, Jade’s dog dick, it was all for this. It was all to get us predisposed to fucking hate Yiffany Longstocking Lalonde Harley so that they could flip the switch and make us love her, make the very fact that we hated her so much part of the reason we love her now. No other webcomic would do that, no other webcomic would have the balls to do that. This is why I read Homestuck, this is why I’m still hanging on to this rock has the wave of cheating dog dicks keeps smacking me in the face. This is avant-fucking-garde, man. I’ve done a full 180 on Homestuck 2. I’m sold. I stan. I’m Homestuck trash again. 

EDIT

Oh, and Vrissy suddenly passed out mid-sentence right around the same time Yiffy passed out (hmmm!), and apparently she’s narcoleptic like Jade (hmmm!)

[nellie-elizabeth]

Outlander: Never My Love (5x12)

I... Have... Issues.

Cons:

I don't want to blame the show-runners too much for the story-line with Claire, as it is lifted straight from the books. But do you know what occurred to me as I was watching this? The rape was actually completely unnecessary to the story. Like - seriously. Change nothing else. Show Claire being beaten and bloody and tied up, and it's awful and it's hard to watch and the performance is raw and honest and all that jazz.

But why rape? Why rape again? We've already had a story-line about Jamie being raped, and a story-line about Brianna being raped. At some point it's just torture porn. And the fact that she is sexually assaulted makes Jamie and the other men's journey feel like this really gross macho revenge fantasy. Again, I know this is all lifted straight from the books. And let me tell ya - it's one of my least favorite things in the books, too.

They added in this interesting thing where Claire is fantasizing about a happy life in the twentieth century with all her family around her, at Thanksgiving. So we keep cutting between Claire tied up and crying in the forest, and these happy idyllic snapshots, of Jocasta and Murtagh, Ian in a uniform, Marsali and Fergus and their kids, Claire and Jamie happy together. There were things about this idea that I liked, but I had two big problems, as well.

For one thing, the thought that the fantasy Claire escapes to is of the future, of her own time, is... really sad, isn't it? It's not poignant, it's just depressing, to think that while Claire fantasizes about Jamie and the rest of her eighteenth century family, she longs for the trappings and safety of a twentieth century existence. That's not the sense I've gotten from her character at all, that she's still missing her old life. It felt really awkward and out of place.

And secondly, why did Brianna and Roger and Jemmy die in this little fantasy escape of Claire's? I guess it has something to do with the pain she feels at not thinking she'll ever see Bree and Roger again, but it felt out of place in the fantasies, which in turn felt out of place in the scenes.

Speaking of Brianna and Roger... I already felt like last week's goodbyes with them were really tepid and unmotivated. I didn't understand why they were leaving at that exact moment. In the book, as I said, there was a very clear reason for their departure. But here, they go through the stones, and end up back where they started. Ian is startled to see them, and it turns out that when Brianna and Roger thought of home, it took them back to where they started, because the Ridge is home to them now.

Ugh. Barf. That's... way too cheesy for my taste, I'm sorry to say. And it makes last week's weirdly underwhelming goodbye... even more underwhelming. After all of that, the Mackenzies are just content to stay in the past? And it just made the plot more confusing, because this final episode wasn't about them, and their choice to stay after all. It was about rescuing Claire from Lionel Brown. So Roger shows up, Jamie is glad to see the family, but there's no time to really process it - Roger is coming along on the mission to save Claire. Why not change it up, so that Roger and Bree decide to leave, but before they can set off, the attack happens and they have to stay because Claire was taken? Then they could have a talk, after it's all over, about how they don't want to leave while things are so uncertain, and maybe they don't want to leave at all.

This season's timeline is very disjointed to me. We just saw Marsali give birth to her baby girl, right, but now she's pregnant and showing again? When was it that months passed without my noticing? Did anyone else feel some whiplash with all of that?

I'll finish off this "cons" section by circling back to a complaint I already made last week, which is that this did not feel like the natural culmination to a season of television. The Browns were barely characters, the whole subplot about Claire being Dr. Rawlings was hardly a thing. This was a season about Bonnet, about Roger almost dying (and oh boy that didn't get very much screen-time did it?), it was a season about the War of Regulation. This attack on Claire feels like it came out of nowhere and only existed to make something dramatic happen in the finale.

Pros:

Okay so I didn't actually despise this episode, despite my litany of complaints about it.

To start with, while I had some problems with the revenge fantasy aspect of Claire's rescue, I did think the fight choreography was really good and conveyed the brutality of the violence being committed. That's something Outlander very often gets right. The image of Ian and Fergus looking down on Claire as Jamie kneels beside her, so much compassion and honor for their mother-figure... that was really powerful. And Roger taking a life, the significance of that, and the way he confessed it to Brianna in the dark... all of that left quite an impact. I also love how seriously Jamie takes Claire's oath as a doctor, that she will do no harm. It's a great moment from the books that was borrowed here, where Jamie says that Claire cannot kill for herself - "it is I who kills for her."

While I question the whole point of the twentieth century fantasy stuff, it was still fun to see everyone in more modern, recognizable clothing and hair-styles. Very much of the '60's, but still. It was strange to see Marsali with the long straightened hair, and Jocasta and Claire with their conservative shortened styles. Seeing Ian and Jamie in modern garb was legitimately disconcerting, which goes to show how wonderful this show is at total immersion. The setting and time period is very solidly 1760's, and I get totally swept up in that to the point where it was really fascinating and kind of fun to see them all in this different setting.

I'll go ahead and say that Caitriona Balfe did a great job with her performance. It was hard to watch the torture porn but I did appreciate her dedication to Claire's experience, and she did a great job with some frankly clunky dialogue when she was listing all the trauma she's experienced and talking about how she won't be broken by this.

The real show-stealer of the night, though? Marsali. This is the best thing that the show-runners have changed from the book to the show. Placing Marsali in the position as Claire's protege, giving her more personal agency and more to do outside of being a wife and a mother, paying off the difficult beginning of her relationship with Claire. All of this is top-notch stuff. When Claire comes back after Jamie rescues her, we see her and Brianna embrace, and that's sweet or whatever, but I felt so much more when I saw Marsali approach, with her face all bruised, to embrace Claire. They weathered the attack together.

And then Marsali killing Lionel Brown... chills. When she said "I've taken no such oath," and then Jamie finds her and she's freaking out about killing him, asking if she'll go to Hell. There was just so much going on in that performance, so many layers to what was happening, and I was totally spell-bound.

I try not to harp on and on too much about the books vs. the show, but in this case I want to praise the show for taking out a part of the book that I hate, which is Jamie being worried that Claire might be pregnant from one of her rapists, and wanting to have sex with her right away so he can have plausible deniability that he might be the father. I am just... grateful that they didn't include this aspect in the show. It's gross. I don't want to deal with it.

In place of that we see Claire grieving what has happened to her, we see her telling Lionel Brown: "I will do you no harm," we see her breaking down but finding inner strength, and we see her curled up in the arms of her husband, taking strength from him. I really wish this story hadn't happened like this in the show, but I did appreciate the care and attention given to the aftermath.

So there you have it. This season was... disjointed at best. I really do wonder if season six will be the end of Outlander. It would make a certain amount of sense, given how many of the plot threads from the books have been excised/shortened into a more streamlined format for the show. Unfortunately, I feel like there were a lot of misses this season, and I hope they can come back with something stronger in the future!

6.5/10

[ironcaptainnataliabarnes]

Red Roses (A Harry Hook x Reader/OC)

A/N: Yall. This chapter is hella long. I hope you all enjoyed it!! If you see any mistakes at all please let me know so I can fix it pronto! This is such a fun story to write and I'm glad people are liking it! If you have any ideas or requests you would like me to add in future chapters, let me know! This is for you guys! <3 :)

Summary: Ruby Hearts, daughter of the infamous Queen of Hearts, was abandoned by her mother when she was young and forced to live with her father, the King of Hearts, in Auradon.  Harry Hook himself may be the only one who finds her madness enchanting. Will Ruby find her self falling for the rugged pirate, or will the roses bleed red?

Prologue / Chapter 1 / Chapter 2: The Pool of Tears

It only made perfect, logical sense that Uma, Gil, and Harry managed to weasel their way into every single one of Ruby's classes. Suddenly she wasn't a person made of stone hidden in the back of the class anymore. She had friends. Friends that legitimately either didn't care that she was mildly insane or refused to believe she was crazy at all. Surprisingly, Ruby found herself enjoying her newfound gang of friends.

At first, Ruby thought her little mind palace she enjoyed in Art 101 would be ultimately ruined, but she enjoyed teaching Uma and Harry how to paint and keeping Gil from drinking another bottle of paint. (He claimed the white paint was milk, and continued to drink it all until he got sick.) The boys had even joined the Tourney team, and even though Harry dissed the game everyday, Ruby knew he liked having a way to expel his own frustrations.

Ruby and Uma became close friends after they shared their mutual hatred of Mal. The purple haired girl had given a particularly nasty glare at Uma when Ruby asked if she had disliked Uma.

"Dislike?" Uma had scoffed. "That girl hates me. And trust me when I say the feeling is mutual."

"What happened between you two? Does it...is that why you were crying that day?"

Uma had nodded and told the story of how she earned the nickname Shrimpy from the daughter of Maleficent. The normally calm and collected pirate even broke down into tears, and Ruby had held her in the comfort of Uma's dorm room, consoling the girl like she had wanted to years ago.

But that had been weeks ago. Uma had now made Ruby an official part of her pirate crew, not considering the fact the majority of her crew was still on the Isle, but that didn't seem to bother Uma. The two girls were sitting on the bleachers, waiting for the Tourney game between Auradon Prep and Hogwarts High to start.  

"Goddd it's so hot," Uma complained, fanning herself with her hand.

"It's a good thing I told you to ditch all the leather. You'd be fried like a walrus in winter by now if you were still wearing it," Ruby replied, giggling at the thought of a walrus covered in snow.

Uma snorted, "Right. You'd think this place being full of magic, someone would come up with a way to fix the heat."

"Exactly," Ruby nodded in agreement. "This weather is not the best for tea time. Unless it's iced tea. But then it wouldn't really be tea at all would it?"

Uma made a confused yet amused face and jumped in surprise when Auradon's band began to play, trumpets and drums echoing across the field as the Tourney team ran out. The crowd began to cheer and clap, but of course Ruby and Uma were mainly cheering for Harry and Gil.

The game had gone by quickly, Auradon beating Hogwarts High to a pulp, winning 16-3. Of course it was only possible for Ben and Jay to score because Harry was basically mauling down every enemy in his way.

As Uma and Ruby stepped off the bleachers to go find Harry and Gil, they were stopped by Evie, ever present smile on her face.

"Hey!" She greeted cheerfully. "Sorry to bother you, but Ruby I was wondering if you were free Friday?"

"Next Friday?" Ruby cocked her head in question. What was Friday? It would be the 24th of the month then, the only thing she would be doing was-

The 24th.

Friday was Ruby's birthday.

She told only Evie of her dislike for her birthday last year. Why was she bringing it up? Did she tell anyone else?

"U-um, no I wasn't really planning anything I guess. Why?"

"Just checking! Toodaloo!" Evie skipped off, locking her elbow with Doug as the band walked back towards the school.

"What's Friday?" Uma asked Ruby, shaking the girl from her thoughts.

"Oh, nothing important." Ruby dismissed the question. It wasn't a lie.

Just then, Harry and Gil ran up, helmets off and sweating from the game. Ruby somewhat hated her mind for even thinking it, but she couldn't help but find Harry even more attractive after he finished a game. Something about how his muscles glistened, and his blue eyes seemed brighter with the rush of the game-

They were looking at her. Shoot. She had been ogling at Harry for what felt like ages that her mind blocked out any and all conversation around her.

"W-what?" Ruby asked, ignoring the way she felt her cheeks flush when Harry smirked slightly. It was as if the pirate could read her thoughts. How scary that would be.

"Uma just told us about the special Friday," Gil told her, still exuberant even after an exhausting game.

Ruby flashed Uma a glare. Clearly her dismissal of the day didn't work on the girl.

"Tell us, Heart," Ruby felt an involuntary shiver at Harry's given nickname for her. "Wha's so special about that particular Friday, hmm?"

"Honestly, you guys, it's nothing. 'A tea party with iced tea instead of tea tea' nothing," Ruby covered her nose in mock disgust. "Now you two need a serious shower. You smell worse than the freezing walrus."

Jay ran up to the group, having been talking to the coach, and gave a pat on the back to Gil. "Nice work, man! When you dodged that guy in the second half, dude that was epic!" he exclaimed.

"Dude, no way! When you spun off of Ben to make that shot, that was so incredible!" Gil jumped with excitement.

"We totally deserve a celebratory drink for that win. Whaddya say, man? You down?"

"Definitely, dude! I'll catch up with you guys later," Gil said before running off with Jay.

Harry scoffed, and ran a hand through his hair. "Hones'ly. 'S like I didn't just batter down half the enemy's team to win. I LIKE DRINKING TOO!" He yelled towards the boys, though they were already out of earshot.

Ruby giggled while Uma rolled her eyes at her first mate. "You can drink in the shower for all I care, you really smell like dog."

"Ughhh fineeee," Harry complained head thrown back in defeat as they walked back to the dormitories.

It was ritual by now for the gang to meet up in one of their dorm rooms at least once a week for no particular reason other than to be stupid in the confines of their own rooms. Ruby's curiosity had gotten the better of her, and she actually brought four iced teas for the group. Not a one of them enjoyed, especially Gil, who's knack of liking everything had its limits. Uma had the marvelous idea of sneaking into the kitchen, it was late after all and no one would be there. Needless to say, the school food storage needed to be replenished, and soon.

Thursday classes had come and gone, and Ruby's illusion of her vase of roses singing a sweet tune was broken by knocks at her door. She had expected Harry, of all people, but was quite surprised by Ben's form in her doorway. It had been a while since she and been had talked; ever since Uma and the boys showed up and Ben having to take on more kingly activities, there hadn't been much time for the two friends to hang out. Ruby instantly felt guilt at not having at least tried to find time to hang out with her first friend.

"Ben! Hey, what, uh, what can I do for ya?" Ruby asked, pushing down her guilt and putting a smile on her face. Her hair probably looked a mess, and her clothes were most definitely wrinkled, but she knew Ben really didn't care.

"Hey, Ruby. It's been a short while, hasn't it?" He greeted her back. He seemed kind of nervous, his hands wringing together in front of him.

Ruby's guilt instantly resurfaced. "Ben, I'm so sorry-"

"There's nothing to be sorry about, Ruby. I actually came to ask you something," He said, smiling at the shorter girl.

Ruby raised an eyebrow in question.

"I was wondering if you could paint something for me?" Ben asked her, hope in is voice.

"Oh, OH. Yeah, of course, sure!" Ruby paced back into her room excitedly, images already running through her head of what she could paint for Auradon's king. "What were you thinking? Because I've been having this idea of like a half beast thing that-"

"No actually, Ruby uh," Ben's eyes flicked towards Ruby hesitantly, as if he was scared of her. That's odd, Ruby thought.

"I was hoping you could paint Mal for me," Ben finished.

Ruby stopped her mind's ideas and stood frozen on her rug. She looked at Ben somewhat accusingly. "What."

"I know, I know," Ben said, arms out and moving to stand in front of Ruby. "I know you two don't really get along but I want to do something nice for her and she mentioned to me about how all the royalty here have their portraits hanging everywhere and I thought it would be nice if I could do that for her and well you're the best painter there is Ruby and I just-"

"Ben, oh my aces, calm down!" Ruby told him, effectively stopping Ben's rambling. She put a hand to her head. She did have a hatred for Mal, but Ben had tried hard to be Ruby's friend since she was first brought to Auradon. She couldn't just tell him no.

She sighed, "Okay. Okay, I'll do it. But I'm going to need a picture or something. I don't find myself gazing misty eyed at your girlfriend all that much, Mr Benjamin."

Ben had already turned to walk back out of Ruby's dorm. "No, it's okay I get it- wait, you'll do it?" Ruby nodded. "Oh, this is great! Here-" he pulled out his wallet and handed her a picture of said girlfriend. "Thank you so much Ruby. You really are the best."

Ben pulled her in for a hug as she answered with a smile. "No problem."

Friday morning Ruby rolled out of bed sluggishly, gasping when she saw the time. She dressed quickly in a simple red top with black jeans, and threw her long hair up in a pony tail before practically running to her first class. As her classes rolled on, she tried not to think about what shenanigans Evie was up to.

Ever since Ruby had moved to Auradon, her father saw her birthday as a spectacular event. He tried throwing her birthday parties, but of course no one would come. He tried taking her out for ice cream, but it was unbearably hot and the ice cream melted. Birthday's just weren't meant for Ruby. In her time on the Isle, birthdays were treated as every other day, nothing special in it whatsoever. She used to wake up hoping her mother would have something special for her, but Ruby was greeted with the same fear as always. Ruby was used to this, and never saw any importance in her birthday anyway. After all, it was just like every other unbirthday, wasn't it? In her first year at Auradon Prep, Evie had questioned her, claiming it odd a whole year had gone and she never celebrated on any single day. Of course, Evie found out the truth, but Ruby eventually convinced her to not make a big deal out of it, and made the blue haired girl promise to not tell a soul. "No one would want to come to a party for me anyway," Ruby had claimed. "They'll be too scared I'll go off with their tiny hatless heads."

Evidently, this year, Evie had different plans. And Ruby was slightly scared.

Ruby had barely been in her room for five minutes after classes were finished before Evie materialized at her door.

"You, my wonderful friend, are coming with me," the overly excited girl said.

Ruby blindly threw her bag on her bed as Evie grabbed her arm and tugged her along to Evie's dorm. Ruby marveled at the clothes along one of the walls; Evie's room was always filled with outfits she had designed, and they were always incredible.

"Any particular reason you dragged me to your fashion show of a room, E?" Ruby asked, feeling the silk of white skirt with black patterns.

"Yes, actually," Evie answered, grabbing Ruby by the shoulders and spinning her around.

The sight of the dress in front of Ruby made every coherent thought leave her brain.

She must have gasped, or made some sort of awestruck face because Evie smiled and wrapped an arm around Ruby's shoulders. "Do you like it?" the blue haired girl asked.

"Evie," Ruby started, taking slow steps toward the wonder of a ball gown and cautiously ran a hand over the intricate rose design on the front. "I honestly don't have the words. I think the Hare must have put some sort of drug in my tea today. I can't- Evie this is beautiful."

"Good. I'm glad you love it!" Evie clapped her hands excitedly. She walked to the back of the dress and unzipped it from the mannequin. "Now let's get it on you."

"Yes, let's- wait, what?" Ruby shook from her daze.

"Come on, no time to lose. Undress, Ruby!" Evie exclaimed.

Despite Ruby's confusion, she really wanted to wear the gorgeous dress. Maybe this was what Evie was planning. To make a gown for Ruby. Any thoughts about her birthday disappeared once Ruby saw herself in the dress.

Evie danced around her, making last minute adjustments while Ruby gaped at herself in the mirror. Evie stepped away, looking proud. "Give us a spin," she said.

Ruby lifted the sides of the dress slightly and twirled. The gown was light and it swirled around her legs as she came to a stop. Ruby couldn't help the huge smile on her face. "This is so amazing, Evie," she turned to her friend, "but what exactly is this for?"

Evie's eyes sparkled mischievously. "You'll see. Now come, sit."

Ruby did as told, and watched as Evie deftly pinned a braid to the crown of Ruby's hair and brushed the tangles out of the rest. It was when Evie placed a small crown inlaid with a heart-shaped ruby that Ruby became nervous. "Evie, really, what's going on?" she hated how her voice shook with the question.

"Put on these shoes, and let's go find out," Evie answered, handing Ruby a pair of dark red heels.

Ruby quickly slipped on the heels and tried not to trip as Evie rushed her out of the door. She led the girl to what was unmistakably the school's ball room. Ben was waiting outside the doors, dressed immaculately in a deep blue suit. Evie gave him a nod before disappearing, not before smiling widely at Ruby.

"Ben, maybe you'll give me some answers?" Ruby looked up at her friend, and saw the same glint she had seen in Evie's eyes. Ruby was hopeful, clearly Ben wouldn't keep her in the dark, would he? But her hope simmered as Ben kept his mouth loyally shut.

Suddenly, Fairy Godmother opened the doors. "It's time!"

Ben gave a bow to Ruby, gesturing towards the open doors with a hand, "Shall we?"

Ruby hooked her hand onto Ben's outstretched elbow, and he led her through the doors. Ruby put a hand to her mouth to stifle another gasp as they walked out to the top of the ballroom steps.

The filled room collectively yelled "Happy birthday!" upon seeing Ruby enter. She couldn't believe it. There were actual people here, for her.

"Ben, what-"

"Welcome, dear Ruby, to your birthday party," Ben bowed once more. Ruby caught sight of Uma, Gil and Harry at the bottom of the stairs, but her eyes found themselves stuck on Harry.

He was dressed like a gentleman but still looked ruggedly handsome with his black tousled hair and smudged eyeliner, his hook hanging from his belt loop. He winked at Ruby, shamelessly devouring how gorgeous she looked in her ball gown.

Ruby would have been stuck at the top of the stairs all day had Evie not once again materialized next to her, dressed in a beautiful blue gown. She grabbed Ruby's hand. "Come on, it's much more fun at the bottom of these stairs," she whispered to her. They made it to Uma and the boys on the ballroom floor, Evie leaving Ruby with a hug and a "Happy birthday, Ruby" before disappearing to find Doug. Ruby turned towards her gang of friends accusingly.

"Did you guys know?" She asked.

"Since las' week, Heart," Harry answered, ever present smirk on his face.

"Yeah, Evie told us the whole deal and had us outfits made. I honestly didn't think I'd look this good in a dress," Uma said. She was right. Her sea green dress was really alluring.

"This place is so amazing, there's tables full of food!" Gil exclaimed, charming in his suit.

"Guys, I-"

"It's okay, Ruby," Uma assured her, giving her a hug. "It's your first birthday party. Let's have some fun," she smiled and winked at her friend. Ruby hesitantly smiled back.

Suddenly trumpets blared as Ben appeared on the overhead balcony, Mal at his side.

"Thank you everyone for coming! As you all know, today is our very own Ruby Hearts' birthday! I think it's about time we get this party started!" He announced, earning cheers from the crowd.

Ruby just stared, silent and still shocked at the whole ordeal. Were these people really here for her?

"'S alright, Heart," Harry's unmistakable voice whispered behind her. His breath was hot on her ear as he spoke, "You deserve this, lass."

She turned around and saw a genuine smile playing at Harry's lips that somehow eased her own fear. She smiled broadly at the pirate. "Thank you, Harry," she whispered back.

"Whoooo!" Gil's cheer broke the moment, the boy jumped in and began dancing wildly to the music. Laughing, Ruby and Harry joined in, Uma reluctantly joining the sway.

The night flew by, song after song, the gang stayed dancing together the entire time. Ruby could tell it was late in the night, but no one at the party seemed to care. She felt a poke at her shoulder and turned to see Carlos, Jay, and Evie. She gave each of them a hug as they wished her happy birthday.

"Evie, you know I'm so thankful for this," Ruby started, as she waved to Carlos and Jay who were whisked away by the crowd. "But a whole ball?"

"You know I would only have the best for you," She answered, giving Ruby a smile. "Besides, it wasn't just my idea."

Ruby's curiosity was instantly piqued. "What do you mean?"

"Well, Ben and I might have let it slip to Uma and Harry about your birthday coming up and how we really wanted to do something for you and Harry came up with this marvelous idea to have a ball since you're technically a princess so Uma and her gang helped us set all this up and we invited literally the entire school and-"

"Whoa, whoa wait," Ruby interrupted her. "This was Harry's idea?"

Evie nodded right as a slow song started. She was pulled away by Doug but winked at Ruby when she noticed Harry showed up at the girl's side.

"Ruby," Harry greeted, dipping into a bow, amused look on his face. "Will ye do me the 'onor of dancin' with me?" He held out his hand for her to take.

Ruby knew her face was flushed. She was still processing how this was Harry's idea, and what did Evie say about him saying she was a princess? She didn't know if her brain would function enough to be so close to Harry Hook, gazing into his eyes as she danced with him to the slow tune-

Ruby blinked out of her daze. She could do this. Her hand met Harry's outstretched one and his smirk grew to a smile as he pulled her closer. Her breath hitched when his other hand came to her waist, and he immediately pulled her into the dance steps.

"Don't tell me Harry Hook's been taking dancing lessons, now?" Ruby questioned amusingly, fighting down her blush.

Harry spun Ruby with the waltz, pulling her closer so that she could feel his breath when he spoke. "'S almost like sword fighting, really."

A blur of blue captured Ruby's eye, and she craned her neck to peer behind Harry. Uma stood, watching the two dance and Ruby almost missed the wink she gave her. At the food table behind Uma, Ruby caught sight of Gil chugging down the entire punch bowl and Jay seemingly egging him on. She snorted and turned her gaze back to Harry, feeling bold.

"So, Mr. Hook," Ruby danced her fingers up Harry's arm. His jaw tensed ever so slightly. "What's this I hear about you planning this whole thing?"

Harry's ears immediately turned pink. "Well, er," he cleared his throat. "Uma an' Gil came up with the plan too, ye know."

Harry let go of Ruby's hand to come rest at her waist and she wrapped her arms around his neck. The waltz was over by now, but neither seemed to notice or care. "How kind," she looked up at the pirate. "You know, this party is kind of for you too," she said.

"How so, Heart?"

"Well, it's my birthday, but that means it's also you're unbirthday! And really that's just as worthy as celebrating in my opinion." Ruby's tone was joking, but Harry's eyes were piercing as they held each other. He moved his head so that his mouth was next to Ruby's ear. Her arms tightened around him, fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

"Ye've no idea how beautiful ye are, Ruby," Harry whispered, husky voice making a shiver course through Ruby's body. "All these other goons are jealous of my own little princess,"

Her breathing hitched, and she pulled her head back to peer at Harry's face. His eyes seemed filled with that same sensation Ruby felt but couldn't quite name. His striking blue eyes darted to her lips as his left hand cupped her face. Ruby was quite aware of the almost nonexistent space between them, of the erratic beating of both of their hearts. She whispered his name, not believing her eyes as the moment played out.

"UGH! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING!" a girl's voice yelled, causing Ruby and Harry to jump apart. They shared a look and made their way to were the commotion was.

There was a circle around Uma and Mal, the former's dress covered in punch.

"You ran into me!" Mal yelled at Uma. "Maybe you should watch where you're going!"

"Look, I know time in Boradon has made you insane, but I would think you know how to walk," Uma snapped back, giving up at wiping off punch from her dress.

Mal scoffed. "If you're so uncomfortable here then you should have stayed in that sandbox where you belong!"

In the blink of an eye Uma pounced on Mal, snarling with her arms outstretched. A full on girl fight broke out, hair being pulled and dresses being torn. It lasted all of two seconds before Ben and Gil rushed in pulling the two girls apart. They continued to yell insults at each other, but all Ruby could see was the floor covered in ice. She watched as every step and stomp of feet caused it to move to the brink of shattering. Ruby had had enough.

"STOP IT! BOTH OF YOU!" She yelled, effectively surprising and silencing everyone in the room. "It's PUNCH! You're not dying and if you don't stop this petty little fight then the frozen floor with collapse and we'll all be eaten by the Jabborwock!"

"Just as insane as ever! You should have stayed with your crazy mother," Mal scoffed before marching out, Ben casting an apologetic look before running after her. Uma tried to apologize to Ruby, but she couldn't hear a thing over the cracking ice.

"Just-..no," was all Ruby could say before she too left the ballroom. She couldn't make it to her room before the tears came.

She fell down onto her bed, letting the water flow. She knew a party was a horrible idea. No one wanted to be there for her, they were there because it was just a party. Maybe Mal was right. Maybe she should have stayed on the Isle with her mother. Maybe she would have learned how to scare everyone away and build a wall around her heart, so maybe then she wouldn't be hurt as easily.

After what felt like ages, Ruby heard a knock at her door. She sniffled as whoever it was walked in and sat next to her on the bed.

"Tears don't belong on that pretty face, lass," Harry said, pulling Ruby up and wiping said tears from her face. She sniffled as he did so.

"I just don't understand, Harry."

"I know, Heart," he said, sad to see her so upset. "Some things are jus' too hard to understand."

Ruby nodded, her mind just registering her sore feet and legs.

"Oh! I, erm, I've got something for ye, Heart," Harry said, changing the mood of the conversation with just a singe sentence. He had something for her?

"What is it?" Ruby asked, rubbing an eye.

"Well, I've been wanting to give it back to ye for a while, but it jus' never seemed like the right moment," Harry told her, ears turning pink as he pulled out something from behind his back.

It was a little stuffed rabbit.

Ruby gasped, new tears forming at her eyes as she recognized her old toy, the one she had lost that fated day.

"Look at ye, getting all happy over a wee toy," Harry joked, happy to see the light in Ruby's eyes again.

"Harry Hook, you thief!" Ruby exclaimed, tackling the boy in a hug. He fell back on the bed, arms wrapping around Ruby's form.

They laid on the bed holding each other for a while, Harry's hand making mindless patterns on Ruby's scarred arm. Ruby had never been more happy than she was in his arms. What is happening? She thought.

"D'ye think they're mad?" Harry asked.

Ruby wasn't sure who exactly he was talking about. "They can't help it," she answered anyway. "We're all a bit mad here."

[gay-jesus-probably]

Non-Ridiculous Cold Weather PSA

Because I’ve been seeing a lot of hysterical PSA posts about surviving the cold weather, and while watching americans be terrified about negative temperatures is deeply amusing to me, the polar vortex is still dangerous and some of the ‘advice’ going around has been useless, stupid, or just straight up wrong.

So. Some calm advice from your local canadian that’s actually helpful, because let’s be real here there’s a reason that all this panic has been aimed at American’s, and that’s because we’re already used to this shit so we’re not freaking out.

First, debunking the stupider advice I’ve seen:

You don’t have to sleep naked. That’s weird and unnecessary, but I’ve actually seen people advising that. You’re not going to freeze to death in your sleep because you sweat. Wear your damn pajamas. Wear socks and a hoodie to bed if you want. Pile on the blankets. You don’t need to take survival precautions overnight in a heated building, and even if you did, nudity wouldn’t do anything.

Don’t build an igloo. Why the fuck have I even been seeing that as a suggestion? If your home loses power for heating, first step is to pick a single room, and have everyone in the house cuddle up together under a mountain of blankets. Body heat, yo. And if you still feel there is a legitimate risk of freezing to death, leave the building AND GO SOMEWHERE WITH HEATING. If you try to build a fucking igloo to survive, you’ll waste your time and energy getting cold and wet fucking around in the snow, and if you manage to actually create a structure (which is unlikely), it’s probably going to fucking collapse on you when you try to use it, and then you’re freezing cold and soaking wet. And that’s if you don’t suffocate under the snow. Don’t build a fucking igloo. I don’t remember who was suggesting that, but I’m going to kick your ass.

Your dogs can still go outside. Obviously, not for long, and under supervision, but you don’t need to get a fucking kiddie pool full of grass for them to go in. Seriously? It’s not a hurricane. You're not in mortal peril the second you step outside. Your dog is covered in fur, it can handle going outside for a few minutes, doing its business, and then coming back in immediately. If you’re that worried, get a dog coat and put it on them, or cuddle your dog to warm it back up once you’re back in. If you have to go out along with your dog... well sucks to suck, but you can also put on a coat and handle a few minutes of cold.

And now the actual advice that you need, that I haven’t seen anyone getting.

Wear a hat. Cannot emphasis how important a warm hat is. Canadian’s aren’t wearing toques as a fashion statement (tho we do look good), it’s cause your head is a major heat loss, so you stay a lot warmer if you cover it up.

Anything wet will drain heat. If you have the choice between wet clothes and nothing, take nothing. Do not leave a heated building with wet/damp clothing. Do not leave a heated building with wet/damp hair. On that note, if you DO leave the house with wet hair, it will freeze, and it can break. That’s not a safety thing thats just a tip, don’t touch your hair if it freezes, just wait for it to thaw on its own unless you want an impromptu haircut.

Wool/fleece/any fuzzy thing isn’t always the best idea. If it’s dry? Perfect, excellent insulator, good warm winter gear. But it gets wet, which it easily does, you’re fucked. Mitts/gloves, coat, boots, and snowpants should all be waterproof. Everything else, there’s not really any point lmao. Non-waterproof gear is better than nothing, but be careful about getting snow on it.

There is no style to winter gear. There is no shame in wearing weird shit to stay warm. There is no such thing as too bundled up. Seriously, when it’s this cold, ideally you’re not exposing any part of your body to the outdoors. I live in the prairies, and regularly see people wearing ski goggles out and about during cold snaps. Myself included. Seriously, you don’t need to look good, you just need to be warm. I promise anybody looking at you is just wishing they’d thought of that. ...Just remember to remove all facial coverings the moment you enter a bank, or any kind of business establishment, because otherwise you will be giving the wrong impression about your reasons for being there.

Do not sleep in shoes/boots. Never do that. I don’t care how cold your feet are, put some socks on and suck it up. Sleeping in boots messes with your circulation, and makes it worse. Take em off.

Do not use alcohol to warm up. It will seemingly induce warmth, but it actually leaves you colder. ...That’s not a metaphor, that’s just a fact, it will feel like it’s warming you up, but it doesn’t actually help. Go for an actual warm drink or something.

Bring your cats inside. You shouldn’t have outdoor cats at all! Do you know how much shit can kill them out there? More than that, they’re an invasive species, they’re devastating the ecosystem. But they’ll freeze to death in the cold, so bring them in and (ideally) never let them out again, you’re an irresponsible pet owner.

On that note, stray cats often use cars for shelter in the cold. Before starting up your car, check the wheels, and then bang on the hood. I’ve seen warnings about checking the wheels already, but cats can also get under the hood, and will curl up there for warmth. If the car is turned on while a cat’s on the engine block... well, I think you can guess it’s not pretty. Smack the hood of your car before you get in; anything in there will wake up and bolt, or at least announce its presence. Either way, you don’t accidentally shred a cat. Apologies for that mental image.

If you’re homeless: I can’t give you any specific locations cause idk, check other posts for that, but seriously you do not want to be on the streets right now. Libraries are good, as are coffee shops/restaurants that are open 24/7. Libraries you can’t get kicked out of, but businesses... worth a shot, honestly. You might need to try and buy something, and honestly I would advise just straight up asking the employees if you can camp out there all night despite only buying one thing at the start, but strong odds says they’ll let you stay. Be honest and polite, apologize for the imposition, and you’re more likely to be left alone all night. The employees had to go through the cold to get to work, they know it’s miserable out. Or go to a shelter or warming station or something. Seriously. DO NOT SPEND THE NIGHT OUTSIDE.

If you have exhausted every single option and are stuck outside overnight. Do not sleep. Do not stop. It is going to be the most miserable night of your life, and you will be lucky to survive, but it’s not impossible. Keep walking. Doesn’t matter where you go, just that you are on your feet and moving. Movement creates body heat, and that is desperately needed. If you fall asleep, you will never wake up again. You’re probably going to be tempted to do it anyways, you will definitely cry, and it will literally feel like torture, but keep going. Survive. Nobody should ever have to endure an ordeal like this, but if there’s no other options, staying on your feet is the only way to survive. If you pull through the night, find a local library, and go in the second it opens; you’ll need to warm up and get some sleep, and a library can’t kick you out.

I know that last one sets something of a grim tone, but seriously, stay calm. You’re going to be fine. That’s the worst case scenario advice, and I hope to god nobody needs to use it. If you’re homeless, yes you should definitely be worried about this, and take every possible precaution to avoid being out on the streets overnight. If you’re not homeless... Seriously calm the fuck down, you’re okay. I know, for most of us it would literally be warmer in Antarctica, or on fucking Mars. But what else is new? Up north we’re surviving this shit every year. The only time frostbite isn’t on the table is May to August, and I mean really even then.

Anyways, stay calm, stay safe, and stay warm. Worst case scenario, you can always try singing the Canadian national anthem, it gives you an automatic resistance to cold. If nothing else, you’ll definitely come out of this understanding why Tim Hortons is such a Thing here. My condolences to all of you for having to endure this cold without any timmies. We’ll pour one out in your honour.

Oh yeah and if you start hearing things like gunshots, despite it being America it may not actually be gunshots this time; when it’s really cold sometimes trees explode. Liquid expands when it freezes, so if enough of a tree freezes... boom. Don’t approach until the trees stop exploding, tree shrapnel can fuck you up. Have fun!

[aleteia-ff]

A Decade To Find You - 2

Also read on: AO3 | FF.net

Thank you all for your lovely comments so far! I hope you enjoy this chapter too!

Summary: Astrid didn’t think much of the guy she bumped into just after midnight on January 1, 2010. It was just a hasty apology, a quip and a lop-sided grin from his side. It wasn’t supposed to be special.

Hiccup felt the same way. That was, until he locked eyes with her again one year later. And the year after that. And the next.

But somehow, their destinies only seemed to intertwine that one night a year… On New Year’s Eve.

Chapter 2: New Year’s Eve 2013-2015

December 31st, 2013

Being an university student who lived away from home left Astrid in this awkward spot between not quite being a foreigner but also not really knowing where every single new thing was in Berk. Of course, she was also too proud to admit that. So when Heather, who still lived with her parents, had told Astrid to meet her at this hot new bar,  Astrid had assumed she would be able to find it without any problems. And that she didn’t have to buy more data for her mobile plan in case she got lost.

She had been wrong.

She was walking through the inner city of Berk, a few blocks away from the Winter Wonderland market, through the streets she knew bars used to be in, but of course, this particular one wasn’t. She supposed she could old-fashionably call Heather, but she didn’t want to. She could do this. Berk was her home, it shouldn’t be difficult, and she couldn’t admit to herself that she didn’t know everything. Not again.

She’d already been doing enough of that the past weeks.

The exams she’d had before the Christmas holidays had not gone well. The first year of her studies in Medicine had flown by, and had covered a lot of material she’d already excessively studied for her entrance exams. It had given her the opportunity to join sports clubs, student associations, and spend a lot of time with all the amazing people she’d met. More often drunk than sober. Parties were simply more fun that way, and after a bit of trial and error, she’d gotten a good idea of her tolerance. Although last year’s New Year’s Eve was arguably still one big blur.

This year was different, however. They’d started with a lot of new material, the pressure amped up significantly, and while some of her classmates were able to sit in the library from nine to five every day, she just couldn’t. And she didn’t know why. There was no need to cut down on any of her weekly club and sorority meetings - she had time to study during the day. But in those hours she set aside for her studies, something was missing, a certain drive that others did have. And which she didn’t.

She wasn’t used to not being able to get what she wanted.

Perhaps she simply needed some time to charge up, to get back in the zone. Refocus, just like preparing herself for another kick-boxing round. She was looking forward to spending New Year’s Eve with Heather and other friends from high school. To them she was still Astrid Hofferson, who was always on top of things, who was fun to hang out with and who, most importantly, never screwed anything up.

Luckily lots of people at university still thought her to be fun. And they didn’t pry beyond that.

She stuffed her hands in the pockets of her favourite ‘it doesn’t need to be fashionable, just warm’ dark blue winter coat, blowing hot air into her pulled-up scarf and warming her nose. Thank the Gods she’d gone to study in the south. She didn’t miss the Berkian cold one bit.

Still not having spotted Drago’s Dragon Den, she turned right into the next street, hoping to get luckier there. She let her gaze wander over the terrace at the corner, looking for her best friend, but came up with nothing. She bit her lip and decided to check once more, just to be sure.

And fell right into a pair of bright green eyes.

But they weren’t Heather’s.

She didn’t know why she hadn’t recognised him on her first survey, because now that she saw him, she could hardly look at anything, or anyone, else. She’d thought that, after him not showing up last year, the sight of him vomiting into the snow would be the last she ever saw of him. But there he was, looking back at her. Fake Foot Guy.

Fake Foot Man, now.

She was pretty sure that if he stood up from his chair, she’d no longer have to look down at him. He had become impossible taller, his shoulders broader, no traces of puberty awkwardness remaining. His round face had been reshaped into a square jaw, covered in slight stubble, making him look so handsome her legs turned to jelly. He no longer matched the image she had of him in her head, of the awkward yet slightly adorable teenage boy. Yet those green eyes were still there, his auburn hair even more messed up than before…

And only then did she realise that she had seen him last year. A hazy memory, a gaze across the dance floor that she thought had been a distorted image of the guy she’d made out with. But the shots of tequila had lied to her. Because she would have remembered kissing someone who’d Neville Longbottomed as hard as Fake Foot Guy had.

And for a moment, she deeply regretted that he hadn’t been the one she’d kissed. And that she didn’t even know his name.

Until her phone rang in her back pocket and Heather snapped her out of it. She didn’t know how long she’d been gaping - which wasn’t like her, how the Hel did he make her do that? - but judging by the lopsided smile he gave her when she waved sheepishly, he didn’t mind.

And when she walked off, following Heather’s instructions on where to go, she found that the only thing she herself minded, was that she hadn’t stayed around longer.

--------

December 31st, 2014 

Hiccup didn’t know what he was doing here. He didn’t know why he was out of his house - his house, his, only his. Why he hadn’t stayed home, watched his blu-ray copy of Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and gone to bed on time. Even his dad had loved the movie, after being reluctant to go to ‘just another superhero film’ at first. But he hadn’t wanted to ruin ‘Men’s Night Out’ with Snotlout and Uncle Spite, and had ended up happily surprised.

If Hiccup was perfectly honest with himself however, he knew he would just end up crying and not fall asleep for a long time if he’d gone through with that plan. So he might as well be an insomniac anywhere else.

He made himself more comfortable in the booth, peeling at the label of the empty beer bottle on the table in front of him. He was glad Snot and Fishlegs were getting to get another round. Because he could use some more beer, and he could no longer handle the way they looked at him with overwhelming pity.

He hoped the twins would get here soon. At least they would act normally. Or at least, according to what was normal for them.

He didn’t need people to feel sorry for him all the time. He could handle himself. He’d done the responsible, adult things. He had called off his semester abroad, had put his studies on hold entirely, and had moved back to Berk to take care of everything that had needed taking care of. Which was way more than he could have imagined.

It was already enough that Uncle Spite and Gobber came over to help him on Saturday nights. Instead of to drink beer like they were supposed to.

That they hadn’t had a proper Men’s Night in half a year.

That he’d made tea for and had politely nodded at the stories of more cops than he could count. Let alone whose names he could remember.

Given that he had to enjoy all that, he really wasn’t looking for more reminders of the fact that he was now officially an orphan. And that he would never, ever see his father again.

Living with that knowledge every day was already painful enough.

He wondered if it would ever end. If he could ever stop looking at the occasional man or woman in blue walking by, making sure everyone was safe on New Year’s Eve. If he would at one point stop asking himself how much longer those police officers had to live, because his father should have been on duty too tonight, like every other year. Every normal year.

Stoick Haddock shouldn’t have been fatally stabbed while saving an innocent woman from a regular, everyday mugger. And Hiccup shouldn’t have gotten that one call that had turned his entire life upside down.

He’d never known his mother. She was someone he could mourn, based on her pictures, but couldn’t really miss. Not like this. His heart torn out, leaving this huge, gaping hole which refused to be patched up. Making him wish that he had never moved out, that he had stayed in the home that he had now inherited, mortgage paid off, to simply live in it with his father for a while longer. Sure, they’d always had their differences, their disagreements, their fights…

But even though he’d now had several months to figure it out, he still didn’t have any idea how to live his life without his father in it.

People told him it got better. He couldn’t imagine that it would.

He looked up from his beer when he had successfully undressed it, the slightly damp label mocking him by reminding him there was only 5% alcohol in it. That wasn’t enough to make him forget. Perhaps he should have asked the guys for something stronger. But with how legitimately, uncannily concerned Snot had been the past few months, he knew he was more likely to upset them, and put his own misery in the spotlight.

He didn’t want to do either of those things. So he slightly turned his heavy head, burying his hand in his hair, his elbow on the table, and gazed out of the window.

At the exact same moment Hot Chocolate Girl sneaked a glance inside.

She looked better than he did. Which wasn’t difficult. She always did. But today, the difference was even more glaring than normal. More so than last year, when she’d looked surprised to see him, suddenly more uncomfortable than he’d ever seen her before. Like somehow, she’d forgotten to put up her defences, the walls he hadn’t realised were there until that moment crumbling.

He had considered walking up to her then, before she’d gotten that phone call. He’d hoped to see her in the days that followed, to get the opportunity to try again. Because part of him had thought that it couldn’t be a coincidence that their eyes had met for what was now, as of this exact moment, the sixth year in a row. That perhaps, fate was on his side, that her kissing that other guy in the club two years ago wasn’t something he should still be bothered by. And although he’d slowly forgotten about her again when spring came around, somewhere deep down, his wish to see her had remained.

But now that he had the chance to get up and talk to her, her pace faltering as she looked back at him, he found he couldn’t. After all, if 2014 had shown him anything, it was that the Gods, if they even existed at all, didn’t favour him in the slightest.

So he shook his head at her, his heart stinging with grief, but he forced his lips to curl up regardless. Even though he knew his smile wouldn’t reach his eyes, not today, he felt the need to apologise to her. For being himself. And for all the baggage he carried with him.

Despite his rejection - cowardice? depression? complete and utter defeat? - she smiled back at him. Thoroughly, genuinely, lighting up her face and the otherwise dull, grey world along with it, her hair shining golden in the light that came from her alone, the street around her non-existent. And somehow, that smile managed to pull on the heartstrings he thought he’d buried with his father. To fire up a heat in his chest he hadn’t felt for months.

Her image stayed with him after she walked way, the world seeming just a little brighter. More hopeful.

And for a moment, he allowed himself to think that perhaps, maybe, life would get better again after all.

------

January 1st, 2016 

Astrid needed another cocktail. And then two. Have ‘uptown funk give it to you’, whatever Bruno Mars might mean by that. It didn’t sound so bad right now.

Somehow, she had ended up alone this New Year’s Eve. She had decided to hit town anyways, because she was twenty-two and by now excelled at making bad life decisions. Because Heather and her other high school friends were on holiday this year, and she hadn’t been able to join them.

Since she’d spent all her money on parties and expensive tuition fees.

To get a degree in something she no longer liked, the thought of spending even another week in the library learning medical mumbojumbo by heart instead of doing anything - anything - remotely practical killing her. Let alone the years she still had to go to become an actual doctor. If she could even get there with the grades she’d achieved so far.

She would have to drop out. She knew it. University had finally decided she was failing too many courses, and just before Christmas, she’d blown her last chances to make up for it. As it turned out, going to the gym, along with drinking and partying even more, because those were the only things she still enjoyed, didn’t exactly help in passing exams.

She had to tell her parents. Inform them that all their support had been for nothing, that their formerly high-achieving daughter, who had never struggled in high school, had completely blown it. That she would have to move back in with them, and that she didn’t have a plan for what was next.

She’d always wanted to help people, which was why she’d wanted to become a doctor in the first place. But apparently that desire didn’t beat her inherent need to completely ruin herself.

Diagnosis: helpless and clueless.

Tonight, she simply longed to forget about that. To start 2016 out right. And the longer she spent away from home, the better. So she could postpone telling her parents the truth for a while longer.

She was on the hunt, looking for a guy, or girl - that was perhaps the only useful thing she’d learnt about herself these past few years, that she didn’t mind female attention either - to go home with. Someone who would show her a good time while she was just sober enough to consent but too far gone to regret. And who wouldn’t question it when they woke up to an empty bed.

Walks of shame were good early-morning exercise, after all.

Gruffnut’s Grunge Grotto was a good place to start. A more obscure venue, somewhere between a club and a bar, reliving the glory days of Nirvana and co two and a half decades after the fact by letting a live band disfigure modern-day songs, like Mr. Mars’, into glorious 90’s grunge. She’d personally been more of a Spice Girls fan as a kid - she’d always been very good at telling people what she really, really wanted - but this was a nice way to spice up her life regardless. Or her night, at least. It was refreshing to be somewhere where she could wear her ripped jeans and didn’t have to care about her mascara smearing, because she could actually pass that off as fashionable.

She accepted her next drink from the bartender, downing the shot in one go. She fixed her hair into a lose half-up bun and turned around, intending to seize up the band. Bands usually knew how to have fun, no strings attached. Perhaps they had a handsome guitarist, or a drummer…

But then she saw someone in the corner of her eye.

Him.

Fake Foot Guy was sitting on a stool at the other side of the bar, leisurely leaning back against the timber. She still remembered the way he’d looked last year, the bags underneath his eyes, the clear exhaustion in his gaze when he’d looked at her. The way he hadn’t really smiled. How she had wanted to rush inside and hug him, because somehow, she’d felt like he’d needed it. But he’d shaken his head at her, chipping off a piece of her heart with that simple motion.

She hadn’t really understood why. She’d spent more days than reasonable - more days than made sense considering she didn’t even know his name, that they weren’t anything at all - trying to figure out why he, out of all men on Earth, had rejected her.

He seemed to be doing much better now. He fit right in with his black leather jacket, the heel of his good foot tapping on the ground, along to the band’s rhythm, because his legs were actually long enough to reach all the way down. He was simply wearing jeans, nothing special, nothing she had never seen before, but she found them incredibly sexy nevertheless… And found herself wondering how it would feel to wrap her thighs around his, to bury her hands in his gorgeous, thick auburn locks, to kiss him senseless while he pushed her against his bedroom door…

She wanted someone to make her feel good.

Why not him?

She entertained that idea for a moment, feeling the heat rise to her cheeks and biting down on her lower lip. She only had to walk up to him. Somehow, she knew they didn’t need to talk, that if she simply wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down, their lips meeting, that everything would be alright.

It felt right.

But when he turned his head, looking away from the band, and saw her too, his eyes opening up in surprise, those green eyes that immediately drew her in, she suddenly understood. She no longer wondered why he hadn’t wanted to come over the year before.

As much as she felt that this was right, that he was right, she couldn’t ignore the other voice in the back of her head.

Not now.

She could use anyone to ease her sorrows. But not him.

He was simply too special.

So before she could make another bad decision, she ran, leaving him to stare at her back as she rushed outside, longing to get to the bicycle that would take her back home.

She knew she would regret leaving tomorrow, knowing that she hadn’t seized the opportunity that only seemed to offer itself one night a year. But it was simply part of the mess she had to clean up.

So that hopefully, she would be ready next year.

A/N: Definitely darker years for this fic's Hiccstrid... They didn't talk to each other in these years... Will next year be different?

[sweet-cool-twins]

Thank you Inazuma Eleven & GO

Hey everyone, I do have an important thing I need to share regarding my absence both back in 2014 and 2019. Mostly 2019 after I uploaded my Raimon Junior High Chapter 4. I know people expect a chapter update on my Raimon Jr High fanfic, I’m sorry to disappoint on that. 

I haven't been feeling mentally well since 2019 cause I realised that it had been 9 years (back in 2019) since I joined IE and those times were the best days of my life. I got to show my creative side, my love for an anime, and made so many friends on FF.net and here. I was basically the happiest those times. Every break in school I had, on the bus ride home, or even resting at home, I would be thinking about new ideas for stories, or writing them in my phone notes, or just reading IE fanfics.

All those were lost when I went into high school (basically college in my country) and had projects with deadlines to complete which took up majority of my time due to my then pre-formed anxiety issue of not hitting deadlines. Then 2019 came and Idk how I came back to IE (i guess I wanted to watch Kusaka x Morimura, not too sure what happened really), I watched the last Galaxy episode and heard Ten Made Todoke! which is the GO first season opening song which is basically a nostalgia song for me, not just my preference, the tune and music itself would bring up some sort of nostalgia to everybody to be honest. And then they bought back Tenma's dribbles which was the skill Tenma showcased in the first GO season (Holy Road) but slowly lost it when he became captain and Chrono Stone season onwards as he matured as a captain.

Then I felt very mad and depressed cause I knew I lost all my creativeness and writer's sense (if that's what you call it?). I used to be able to picture how the characters would act in certain situations, how they speak (which are quite on-point judging by a review or message from a reader who I could not find the username, such a lovely person!), and these would just flow out of me as I sit in front of my laptop and type in docs page back then. The grammar and writing style was very childish and painfully cringy, but I had a lot of fun writing and it gave me a lot of hope and happiness just from reading the 3-5 reviews from readers (Bless u guys for favouriting, following, and reviewing my stories!).

Still, I sort of pushed myself to publish this Raimon Junior High fanfic as I was forcing myself to get back all the skills I had lost before I came back in 2019. Each time I review my drafts, I'm completely stumped and shocked by some of the phrases I'd used, even some of the conversations don't make sense to me anymore (and I know my past self's character's speech patterns are on-point as stated in the previous paragraph). My brain couldn't even think of those phrases and convos when I was writing this fic. So the depression, stress, feelings of loss, all lead me to slowly delay the update of this fic to practically leaving it hanging. It irks me by the way, to leave it like this. I just couldn't take it anymore and I guess the easiest way was to leave it.

Then my younger brother (I don't know if anyone knows this but yes I do have 1 sibling) and his girlfriend were watching Cells at Work! anime on Netflix and the main white blood cell voice actor is the same voice actor for Tsurugi Yuuichi in GO. Hearing him made me recall back the times I searched about the voice actor due to his singing capabilities (his singing was kyaaaaa (long time no type that lol) in the Onaji Yume Wo Miteru Tsurugi brothers character song) and also 'cause IE GO basically blew up many voice actors' fanbase as it was a pretty popular anime in Japan. So I checked back on IE GO again to hear his 2011 voice and sort of hear his improvements as a voice actor. I knew I was going to feel all the sadness and loss again upon hearing the GO first opening again (which it did), worse the Tsurugi brothers arc made me legitimately cry cause I sort of related to Yuuichi in a way better than when I was in middle school.

The feeling of happiness in the past and having to leave it for 6+ years until the present, to then realise you are probably too old to continue persuing the thing which you love back then (because to start to be a professional sports player, you have to be young like before 22 years old young, at least that's what I've heard of.) and the fact that you have to relearn everything which takes pretty much a long damn time, and even more if you want to do so professionally, is gonna eat up the years you have to pursue the job. This thought hit me so hard that I had a mental breakdown. Their character song (as I said I got back to IE GO and started relistening to the character songs which I've never heard in a lonnnnng time for Yuuichi's voice) added this depression even more. The first line by Tsurugi Kyousuke, "We always used to run together, chasing after a ball..." and the image of the two brothers flashed in my mind would break me to pieces as it was a happy moment for Yuuichi and it reminded me of my happy days here, although now he's stuck in the present with a disability similar to me being stuck with my depression and loss writer sense.

Which lead to me typing this long text out. I've reviewed the existing drafts of Raimon Jr High (they weren't automatically removed yet as 1 year hasn't passed since I updated on FF.net) and just felt I should just end this fic in a way with a plot plan at least because I know the me right now probably could not finish this fic. Please kindly read it and imagine the scenes you could possibly think of for the chapters. When I do get better, I want to edit some of the drafts to whichever chapter I am most confident in completing. The fic itself is following the GO season (1-20), then Chrono Stone (21-30), then Galaxy (31-50). I won't do Galaxy (i will explain in detail in the Galaxy Rant portion in a separate post) as I left the fandom during that time and aren't as close to the characters compared to the previous 2 seasons (to say it nicely).

I want to say, thanks if any of you read this till the end. I really appreciate it. It really irks me to leave this (or any) story hanging, yet I want to at least give a reason why, the process of it happening, and the fic plans for each chapter so you guys at least know roughly how Raimon Jr High fanfic would have ended. I'm still trying to find myself and love myself again like back then. Therapy is terribly slow and sometimes I feel better after a therapy, and then I encounter another negative thing in my life and feel all this sadness all over again (especially any past regarding IE). I dearly wish I could go back to the past yet time doesn't allow that and you have to move on. I don't know what to make of the future. I don't know if I will ever get better. I do hope what when I do get better and gain back the creativeness, I would have the time to continue this fic until the Chrono Stone 'season' ends as that was my main motivation for writing this fic. I do wish all of you the best and all the happiness in the world cause we all deserve it, even if you think you're normal or average. Cause I am average and aren't as happy as I was, and I deeply wish I could feel that happiness again. Thank you guys again! Hontou ni arigatou! (Long time no type that too lol)