#i was on a fucking bus coming back from a school band trip

[candieduranium]

yes, pinterest, i will absolutely take a look at some resources that may help improve my mood

[ladykailitha]

Never Hold Back Your Step... Part 3

It's been so long since I updated this you probably should go back and read parts 1 and 2.

Steve gets to the competition and tries to settle his nerves.

Part 1 Part 2

@mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @emly03

****

The trip to Chicago was a hard one. As much as Steve just wanted Eddie to come it would have looked suspicious, so Wayne and Jeff came too. Steve had been hoping for time with Eddie alone in a big city where they could get lost and spend time just doing couple-y things, as it was a school event it would look suspicious if only Eddie came.

So he grudgingly accepted the support of Jeff and Wayne to see him go up against this region of the country’s best swimmers. If all went well, then they would all get scholarships and go on to nationals. If it didn’t, then they could at least say they made it this far.

When Steve got to the school he realized how much he really hadn’t thought the trip through. The school was sending the four of them and both coaches to Chicago in a fucking school bus. He would be bunking with Ezra while Lyle and Nick would share a room. Wayne grinned when he realized that he would get a hotel room all to himself. Eddie just groaned.

So the five hour drive to Chicago was dreadful instead of laughing with Eddie and Jeff, he ended up in an argument with Lyle whether Depche Mode was alternative rock or new age pop. Steve was firmly in the alt rock camp. He was about to throw hands when he realized that he had heard a similar argument between Brian and Jeff about whether hair bands could be considered metal or not. In the end? It didn’t matter because something could be two things at once.

Suddenly he started laughing and Lyle looked at him like he was crazy.

“Are you okay?” Nick asked, cocking his head to the side.

“Yeah,” Steve said with a grin. “I just realized that the argument was pointless because they can both. Some of the stuff can be classified as new age pop while others are more alt rock. Why argue about it? We both like them. Who cares if we don’t agree what genre they are?”

Nick and Lyle glanced at each other while the coaches snickered to themselves. Ezra tilted his head and smiled fondly at Steve. Steve looked up to find Ezra’s eyes linger on him for a moment longer than necessary. He flushed under the sudden attention and ducked his head. When he looked up again, Ezra was talking to Lyle about The Cure.

All through the rest of the trip to Chicago, there were times Steve was sure Ezra was looking at but he didn’t dare look up to confirm it. If he hadn’t been with Eddie, Steve would have been sure that Ezra was flirting with him and sure he would have mocked his co-captain for being queer. Now though? Steve could be imagining the longing looks and blatant yearning. Because he had to be careful not to accidentally out himself before he graduated.

They got to the hotel and checked in. The first thing Ezra and the other boys wanted to do was check out hotel’s swimming pool, as if they weren’t going to spending enough time drenched in chlorinated water as it was. So Steve waved them off and said he was going to grab some dinner and catch up with them later.

He walked into the hotel dinning area and breathed a sigh of relief. There at one of the tables in the back was three of his favorite people, Eddie, Wayne, and Jeff. It wasn’t that he didn’t like the boys on the swim team. Because of course he did. He just didn’t consider them to be friends.

“Hey,” he called out and they wave him over, allowing him to slip past the hostess to their table.

He sat close to Eddie with Jeff and Wayne on the other side of the table, picking up a menu.

“You guys order yet?” he asked, distractedly.

Jeff shook his head. “We were waiting for you. Eddie ordered you a Hi-C though.”

Steve smiled at Eddie. “Thanks.”

Eddie shoved his hair in mouth as he looked away shyly. “It was the least I could do since you had to take the giant bread loaf from hell.”

Steve snorted. “It wasn’t as bad as it usually was as there was only six of us, but yeah. It was a hot as the devil’s anus.”

Jeff barked out a laugh. “Holy hell, dude. Warn a man, I could have been taking a drink.”

Wayne just rolled his eyes.

A few minutes later, the waiter arrived and they ordered their meals.

They chatted happily until they finished their meals. Steve and Eddie slipped away for moment before Steve had to make it back to his room for “curfew.”

“I love having you here, sunshine,” Steve murmured, their bodies pressed together in one long line. “I feel I can take on the world because my real family is here rooting for me.”

Eddie kissed him gently on the lips. “And we’ll always will, baby. Okay?”

Steve nodded.

“Do you think Jeff would be pissed if we kicked him out of our hotel room tonight?” Eddie asked with a feral grin.

“Yes,” Steve said with a giggle. “He would be absolutely livid, you menace.”

Eddie pouted. “But, sweetheart...”

Steve kissed him fiercely. “I’m not say no to you fucking me into some horrible hotel mattress, all I’m saying is ask your best friend nicely to go site seeing with Uncle Wayne tomorrow afternoon after the first meet so I don’t have to look into those big brown puppy dog eyes of Jeff’s and tell him I went along with your madcap plan.”

Eddie cackled. “Yeah, all right. That’s fair.”

“I’ve got to get to my hotel room before Coach Hall does a room check,” Steve murmured. “I’ll see you at the meet?”

Eddie nodded. “Love you, baby.”

Steve kissed him again. “Love you, too, Eds.”

****

Steve got back to his hotel room just under the gun. He had just toed off his shoes when Coach Hall knocked on their door. Ezra stood up and let him in.

Coach Hall turned to Steve. “Don’t think I didn’t see you make a mad dash for your room, young man. Tomorrow I expect to see you in room before the curfew and not at the curfew. Do you understand me?”

Steve nodded. “Sorry, sir. It won’t happen again.”

“Our practice time is at 6am sharp,” he continued. “I will see both of you there on the dot.”

Both boys nodded.

Coach Hall eyed them warily, but nodded curtly. He left to meet Coach Burton who had been checking on Lyle and Nick out in the hallway.

Ezra closed the door behind him with satisfying thud. It wasn’t slammed, the coaches couldn’t claim that, but it sounded with a finality that pleased Steve to no end.

“What’s the point of having the curfew at ten if they’re going to make us be in our rooms before that?” Ezra asked. “It’s fucking ridiculous. You made it before curfew. That’s all that should matter.”

Steve blushed from the way Ezra defended him. “Thanks, man. I think they’re more nervous then we are about tomorrow. Hopefully after the individuals tomorrow they’ll feel better about our chances.”

Ezra shrugged. “I guess, but it’s still bullshit Hall took it out on you. Burton is usually the hardass, not Hall.”

Steve nodded. “Well, we better get to sleep before they start bitching about our lights being on.”

And as if on cue, they heard Burton yell, “Lights out!!”

Ezra and Steve looked at each other and then started to laugh.

They hurried to get into their pajamas and hit the light. They each crawled into their separate twin beds and laid there looking at the ceiling in the dark.

“Do you think you’ll be scouted for any of the major colleges?” Ezra asked, rolling over on his side to face Steve.

Steve tucked his arm under his head. “God I hope so,” he murmured. “Otherwise, I’m not getting in.”

Steve couldn’t see Ezra’s expression in the dark, but he could hear his confusion when he asked, “What do you mean?”

“My concussion pretty much tanked my grades,” Steve explained. “I am barely passing my classes and I have to get at least a C average to get into those schools. Which I’m not even close to hitting right now.”

“So getting to regionals is really important for you, huh?” Ezra asked. “I hope they scout you, man. You deserve it.”

“Thanks,” Steve mumbled. He thought about all the things he wanted to do with his life. And how he thought, not too long ago, that he would just work for his dad, get married, have six kids, and die.

But now? A future without Eddie doesn’t seem like any kind of future at all. He thought of Eddie’s band, wondering if they would make it. Maybe after high school instead of college the two of them should just runaway together.

It all seemed jumbled up in his head and with all those whirling thoughts, Steve drifted off to sleep.

****

Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16

Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @danili666 @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @justforthedead89 @vecnuthy @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon @counting-dollars-counting-stars @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @dragonmama76 @scheodingers-muppet @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @angels-of-hades @mugloversonly @greeniebean911 @birbsauce @y4r3luv @acingthecounts @cryptid-system

[morganbritton132]

The juicy drama of Steve still inviting his mother to things, though?

I know you said in the tags she has never come but I am living for a very petty Eddie seeing Steve’s mom after all these years and going “you look great, Helen. Haven’t aged a day since you begged me not to marry Steve.” (Not sure if you’ve named Steve’s mom yet. Helen is just my head canon name for her.)

I’m not sure if I’ve named Steve’s mom in this AU yet or not, but she is universally known as Angela in all my work thus far so I’m going to keep it the same here.

 

Steve might have had virtually no contact with his mother over the years despite numerous attempts to reach out to her, but Eddie has.

Eddie has a tour bus and final say over their touring schedule, and Angela Harrington still lives in Hawkins. Eddie is a petty bitch when he wants to be, and trust him. He wants to be.

He always ensures that Corroded Coffin plays at least one gig that’s close enough to their hometown that they can make a day trip. Some might say that he’s keeping close to his roots and others may say that he’s giving the band a chance to visit with family, but Gareth knows Eddie too well.

Wayne doesn’t live in Hawkins anymore and Eddie would only ever step foot in that town to cause a problem, so he tells him. He says, “Don’t get arrested” and then he goes to see his parents.

Eddie paints pentagrams on his fingernails and lines his eyes with the darkest liner he has, and then he makes his way up Loch Nora with the windows down and the music loud. He parks in front of the Harrington residence and he pounds on the door until someone answers it.

Angela never looks older than she does when she’s glaring at Eddie and it makes him smile, “Hiya, Mom.”

She never slams the door in his face despite how much she looks like she wants to. It would cause too much of a scene and Eddie has caught her in the middle of her book club – a bit of good timing on his part (and a lot of listening to Steve Facebook stalk everybody that has ever lived in Hawkins). She looks him up in down like she’s already annoyed, puts her hands on her hips and says, “Absolutely not.”

Eddie’s already slipping passed her by then and into the house. He looks around like he’s never fucked her son there before and says, “Wow, Ang, it almost looks like a human being with a functioning heart lives here.”

She hisses at him to get out of her house or she’ll call the police, but Eddie just got here. And anyways, he’s too busy introducing himself to her friends, “Hi. Hi. I’m sure you’ve heard a lot about me from Angie. I’m her son-in-law.”

Gosh, some of these girls are young enough to not know that Angela abandoned her son because one of the girls says, “Oh, I didn’t know she had a daughter.”

“Yeah, no,” Eddie says, pouring himself a glass of their champagne. “She doesn’t. A son. Hot as hell, great ass, wonderful person – he’s fantastic. That’s actually why I’m here, you see.”

“My girl, Angie, here married a violently homophobic man and when he kicked her son out, she didn’t do jackshit about it. Still hasn’t,” He continued, despite her actually picking up the phone to call the police. His smile dropped a bit when he made eye contact with her, “But Richard is dead now and there’s nothing stopping her from reconnecting with her kid, right?”  

Eddie’s smile picks up again when he addresses the rest of the book club, “You see, a couple years ago, Stevie went back to school to get his masters. He’s has a few sets back - ‘cause he’s still got that head injury, Ang. The one you never ask about – but he’s set to graduate end of the semester. I just happened to be in town and though, you know what?”

“Wouldn’t it just mean the world if his mom came to his graduation?” Eddie continued. “You know, since you missed the high school one.”

“I think you’d do very well to leave now, Mr. Munson,” She tells him, and Eddie makes a big show of listening to her. He leaves behind an invitation to the party that Joyce is throwing for Steve and the info of when graduation actually is.

Eddie doesn’t see her if she’s there, but he doesn’t spend a lot of time looking for her. He’s there to see Steve walk across the stage and to cheer him on with his real family.

[sirenlulls]

satellite → r. keating (b. skeetz)

pairings — robert keating x fem!reader

summary — what bobby skeetz would be like as your annoying boyfriend <3

spinning out, waiting for you to pull me in. i can see you're lonely down there. don't you know that i am right here?

i feel like you'd be a long-term relationship (like teenage years long term)

ik they went to some fancy all boys school so let's say you went to an all girls school near theirs that would often go on trips together (pls tell me that wasn't just my school that did that)

either that of you'd meet through extra curriculars or overlapping friend groups

EITHER WAY met when ye were young (13-14) and got together when ye were 16-17

tbh most people thought you'd only last a few months bcs it was a teenage relationship after all but you're so chill with each other that it became very clear very quick that ye were just different

major "my girlfriend's my best friend" vibes

because of that, every inhaler fan knows you

you're no longer referred to by your name

you're just "mother" now

it's low-key a problem

like in any of your instagram posts or cute little tiktoks, at least half of the comments have a silly little inhaler pfp and are calling you mother

anyways

he's so annoying

definitely a very playful relationship

mocking eachother and all that

telling anyone else (outside your friendgroup) to fuck off if they do the same

he himself wouldn't be very public with the relationship

like you wouldn't be the face of every instagram post but you'd be in a story every few weeks and you'd pop up in the middle of a photo dump here and there

the inhaler_on_tik account however....

fans play where's wally with you in the tiktoks

usually hiding in a window reflection or the hem of your jacket poking into frame

enough to know you're there

you'd be best friends with all the fans

gigs are your opportunity to make new friends

they all adore you

so many fan tiktoks from gigs just have you dancing away with them

they'd bring you flowers <3

but yeah even if bobby himself doesn't post you a lot, fans would get pictures of you two together and they'd be so cute 😭

most of them are taken before gigs when he's helping you out of the bus or ye're walking into the venue together

but someone got a picture of you two once at some silly little market in spain and you were looking at flowers and he was looking at you

they posted it to tiktok and you asked them to send it to you

it was your lockscreen for a bit x

BIRD BINGO!!!

if you're ever traveling without him, you'd take pictures of any birds you pass and send them onto him

i really need to make sure it's known that he'd be annoying

like imagine you're just lying in bed, reading or on your phone, and he just bellyflops on top of you

no warning

no escape

you're trapped

i said the same in my eli headcanons but i don't really get spooning vibes from him

no matter what way you fall asleep, at least some part of him will be touching you

whether he's full on wrapped around you or just got an arm thrown over your torso

it helps him sleep better

you're best friends with the band ofc

i mean, you practically grew up together

you and rob never have a moment of peace with them on tour

you could be curled up in bed, and all of a sudden, elijah's busting down your door and lying down beside ye to tell you about a new song idea

you finally think you're free for a moment having a smoke by the back of the bus? nope, ryan's there now purely because he wanted to annoy ye

josh is nice on ye though (not really) (he makes fun of ye all the time) (he's my little pookie bear angel) (he can do no wrong)

they love having you around

and even if you leave the tour bus to get some snacks and come back to them trying on your dresses and robert doing josh's eyeliner you love having them around too

you're starting to get the mother thing

they do feel like you're hyperactive little children

bobby skeetz, the man that you are, you'd be a great boyfriend

[edenshiba]

Thank you for writing my request! It turned out amazing! I hope you don’t me doing another? Could you do a Tsuji x Reader? Reader is the younger sister of 9. Reader and Tsuji have been talking for a long time when Tsuji confesses to her. Reader has no idea who to respond and gets interrupted by her brother picking her up from them hanging out. Tsuji kisses her cheek before they leave and tells her to think about it. 9 just looks confused and before telling them you can’t date you know that right

(I don’t think being 9’s younger sister would give much of a social life or romantic life)

(Tsuji helped Reader when some students from another school tried to jump her)

Character: Tsuji x Fem! Reader

Note: I forgot to update..... Sorry. SOMEBODY PLEASE DO MORE OF TSUJI AND SHIBA 😭. also @mrskenpachizaraki this is for you 😊

The bell ring loudly as the whole students packing their bag without caring of the teacher’s words. You sat there, zoning out since while looking at the athletes training at the field.

“Remember class, I need your parents to sign the form or else you can’t participate in the field trip.” The teacher said.

You put on your headphones before playing the One Ok Rock song. You are a big fan of that band since you entered high school. Thanks to your former best friend.

Since she passed away, you didn’t socialize anymore. Only wake up, go to school, come back, play the guitar and finish your homework and sleep.

The routine oy change if you brother remember to come home, otherwise you will do it every day. Anyway, you can just forge your brother’s signature. 9 never home so it's not a big of a deal.

While walking to the bus stop, you saw several girls with a different uniform than you. You went to Seiho All Girls School and the uniform there are brown. Those girls wear blue.

Ah, must be from the rich school

You tried to ignored them but the one with the pony tails stops and push you.

' Fucking bitch. You thought.

The melon bread that you were eating laying flat on the ground before one of them stepped on it.

That was supposed to be your dinner.

“So this is the girl that Keiji like?” You stared at her before trying to remember the name.

Who the hell is Keiji?

“I don’t know that people from Seiho is are this shameless.” Their accusations making you felt dizzy.

First of all, who are they? And second of all, since when you talk to people?

The last person you ever communicates with was your homeroom teacher. She said your grades are good enough to be accepted to the top Universities in Japan.

“ Who do you think you are, huh? Taking another girl’s boyfriend. Are you that shameless?”

Ah, now you understand.

Despite being a loner, you are quite popular among other people. Since you are the president for the chess club and the top student of the school, people talks about you a lot.

But of course, nasty rumours do spread around.

You give them an annoyed look. Do these girls thinks that you are THAT cheap?

“Ah, him? Sorry but he’s the one who like me. I can’t do anything about it girl.” You replied.

If they wanted to act like a mean girl, then you can also do the same.

You saw how her hand almost touching your face until a big veiny hand appear. You opened up you eyes after not feeling anything, only to see two stranger. One with the red hair was holding her hand and one with the blonde hair covered your body from them.

“ Five versus one? My, you guys really that pathetic huh?” The girl tried to snatch her hand back but the man’s grip tighten.

“ Mind your own business!” The girl says.

She tried to act tough even though you see how her leg shakes. You did felt a tinge of pity but then you chose to forget it.

“How can this not be our business? How can an elite group came here? Didn’t you guys too far from home?”

The girls were to stunned by their words. The red head finally let go of the girl’s hand. She wince at the pain before covering the wrist. Her white skin turns red.

“This is not over yet!” She yelled before walking away with her group of friends.

You waved at her before looking tried to walk away.

“Thanks for your help but I can protect myself.” You said before disappearing from their sight.

You put on your headphones back before turning on the music. Well, that will be the first and last time you see them.

Meanwhile, Tsuji and Shibaman were stunned by your reply.

“Nee Tsuji, we shouldn’t help her you know.”

Tsuji scratch the back of his head before looking at his partner.

“Well, it’s not wrong to help her. Besides, she’s cute ya know?” Tsuji smirked before walking away.

Shiba followed him but still puzzled at his words. There is no way in seven hell Tsuji like that girl.

The next day, you put on the headphone as soon as the class is over. The field trip talk is unnecessary. You brother did came back last night to give you the monthly allowance before going back to his usual work.

You didn’t care, as long as he gave you enough money to survive then you are okay.

Your instinct told you to take off the headphone and you did. A big figure towering over you, making you tilted your head a bit.

It is him, the guy from yesterday.

“ You shouldn't walk while listening to the music. Somebody might jumped on you .” He said before taking the headphone off your head.

“ What are you? Stalker?” You said before snatching the headphone back.

You walk past him but before you could put on the headphone again, he grab it and put it around his neck. You glared at him before trying to get it back.

“U, uh. I’m taking this.” He said.

You groaned at his actions. How old is this guy anyway?

“ I’m Tsuji by the way. Nice to meet you.” He said.

“Fuck off.”

Several months went by and you and Tsuji has a pretty good friendship. If he didn’t hang out with his Oya High friends he would hang out with you. Depending on his mood, usually he would walk you home and have a dinner with you.

Surprisingly he can cook.

“Hey.” You raises your head, just Tsuji and Shibaman is nowhere to be seen.

“Where is Shiba?”

“Well, his sister wants to meet him. What are you listening to?”

Tsuji took your left earbud before putting it on his ear. You play the song to let him hear it.

“It’s cool. Who’s the artist?”

“Halsey.” He nodded.

Without him knowing, you blush slightly. You find it hard to push him away lately. Both of you have been seeing each other everyday and sometimes he even walk with you to school despite Oya High is on the other side of the town.

“So, are you free tonight? We can watch the star.” He asked while opening the café door for you.

“My brother is coming tonight. Sorry.” You apologize but the man just smile.

“It’s fine. Let me order the drinks” You watch him walking to the counter.

Your heart beats faster than usual. Oh my god you are in love with this guy.

You can’t deny it, Tsuji is a good guy. He walks you home, he bought flower whenever he visited you at your apartment, he accompany you whenever you study at the library despite him just watching without doing anything.

You can’t help but like him. Well, this tiny little crush will never be known by him of course.

He can’t know. You have a reputation to uphold.

“Hey they run out of (f/f) smoothie. Is coffee fine?” He said worriedly.

“ It’s fine.” You said before taking the cup.

Good bye to your sleep.

You took out your exercise book and your notes. Tsuji just watching you solve the math questions. After several minutes, you change to the other book.

“Do Seiho always gives their students lots of homework?” He asked while sipping his coffee.

You look up before putting the pen down. You just realized that you got another three subject to finish by tomorrow.

“Oh this? Well, English and Math from three weeks ago and Physics and Chemistry is from last week. Yeah the Japanese need to be submit by next week.” Tsuji scratches the back of his head.

You chuckled at his actions. Well, Oya wasn’t known for their intelligence. You don’t really blame him.

“Don’t study too much. You might go crazy.” He said before switching his focus to his phone.

“ Ok dad.” You rolled your eyes before continues to finish the whole essay. Tsuji smiled at your words.

He don't really paying too much attention on his phone. He has been staring at you secretly. He loves it whenever you bit your lower lips whenever you didn't know the answer.

The sun already set by the time you finish the Chemistry homework. You put all the pens and pencils inside your pencil case before putting it in your bag. You saw Tsuji just got back from the toilet.

“You done?”

“Yeah my brother will fetch me so you can just go home.” You said before sipping the remaining coffee.

“ Don’t be stupid. Let me walk with you.” He said before taking your bag and sling it on his shoulder. He grabbed you by the hand before both of you leaving the café.

You blush at the gesture. Thank god he didn’t see it.

The walk to the bus stop is quite. You didn’t know what to say or what to do. The way he holds your hand say it all but you don’t want to put your hopes too high.

Does he like you?

“The moon is beautiful right?” You heart skipped a beat.

Wait, what?

He suddenly stop before looking at you. Your eyes met his and he smile.

“ (y/n), I like you.”

You aren’t dreaming right?

Did he just, confessed his love to you?

“I, I....”

A loud honk shocked you. You look at the car, shit!

“Your brother?”

“Yeah.” Tsuji chuckled. He patted your head before kisses your right cheek.

“ I don’t need the answer tonight. Feel free to tell me when you are ready.” He said before wave good bye.

You still at the froze at your spot. He kissed you.

YOUR CRUSH KISS YOU!

You will never wash your face after this. Oh my god!

Before your brother loses his patience, you quickly went to his car and sat at the passenger sit. 9 gave you a weird look.

“Is that your boyfriend?" He gave you a confused look.

How come he never see that guy. Are you dating without him knowing?

"You know you can't date right? What will happen to your study if you got pregnant? Oh my god you got the entrance exam this year!"

You gave him an annoyed look. This is why you and him never in a good relationship.

Too overprotective. It’s suffocating.

“Shut up and drive old man. I want to eat sukiyaki.” You said.

Sleep well pretty. I’ll walk you to school tomorrow.

You smiled at the message. Ah, love is great.

“ I’ll send you to cram school if your grades drop. Also quit smiling like an idiot.” 9 can’t accept this.

You’re growing too fast.

“ I know okay.” You grumble.

Café date tomorrow?

Alright.

You grinned.

“I told you to stop smiling already!”

“Shut up old man!”

[dumbbullet]

11, 15, 20, 22 and 23 for music asks ✨😊✨

woof ok this was tricky but here we go:

11:A song that you never get tired of

Dinner & Diatribes by Hozier - this is like… THE Hozier song to me. I know take me to church is the one everyone knows him for but Dinner & Diatribes man. The way I’ll stop what I’m doing just to do a little stomp clap along with the drums at the beginning.

15:A song that is a cover by another artist

Summertime Sadness by Stoneside - no lie i had to look up who sang the original version. I need heavy guitar riffs man. Also bonus points for not changing up the lyrics

20:A song that has many meanings to you

The Bus Song by Jay Som - Bit of a stretch but this was another song i used in a project in school, specifically my capstone, so while i STRONGLY associate it with that entire project, I also associate it with my friend group from that time. All of us live in different states now but we still talk and one of them is coming to crash on my couch this weekend and then I’m going on a trip with 2 of them for a bachelorette party and AUGH! I love my friends!

22:A song that moves you forward

Live and Learn by Crush 40. I’m not explaining this one. It’s burned into my soul. I know who i am.

23:A song that you think everybody should listen to

OH IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE I’VE BEEN SO PATIENT

TAKE ME BACK TO EDEN by Sleep Token - FUCK!!!! FUCK I LOVE THIS SONG! The ambience the tonal changes the KEY CHANGES. This song has LEITMOTIFS. You’ll go “wow! this is like 3 songs in 1” and then I'll say “wait for it”.

I’ve fallen so in love with this band over the past few months and I can’t quite explain how the lyrics “I don’t know what’s got it’s teeth in me, but I’m about to bite back in anger” made me feel the first time i heard them but I FELT them.

[xoxo-bunnydumpling]

My son has a band competition this coming up week, state championship. He was really nervous today, got tired of being nervous, and asked me if I've ever fucked up.

Oh boy.

So I decided to tell him about the time I just kinda made shit up at a Shakespeare festival. What had happened was...when we moved back to California from [redacted] we moved to a city with a performing arts school. Public, no tuition, but you had to audition. I'd been drumming a while and thought I wanted to do that 5ever, so even though my mother had sold my drums to put a down payment on our apartment I rocked my little ass down there on a city bus after not practicing at all for several months and auditioned for the music program.

I got accepted, somehow, and they put me in the jazz band. After my first semester, I don't remember what happened but the jazz guy left and we were put into concert band which I struggled with a ton. See...jazz guy was teaching us to read music, the other guy expected us to already know. I still don't know how, because I beefed with this guy so so completely, and he with me, that I left the program. My only other choices for "major" were theatre and visual arts so I went for theatre because I incorrectly assumed it was easier.

I wasn't supposed to go to Shakespeare fest as a freshman. That was a senior thing, but not enough seniors wanted to go that year. So they kinda just started asking people "hey kid, wanna learn Shakespeare?" And I did because the trip was a whole weekend away from my shitty living situation.

I'm pretty good at memorizing things. We had a whole month, surely that's enough time with rehearsals and whatnot.

As it turns out, it might not be. I'm on stage, in the gorram fuck middle of a monologue and my brain goes poof. I was given some advice for in case that happened..."riff your way back" and so I tried to. I tried so hard to get back on course and it was not happening at all so I'm up there sweatin' like three bitches just making shit up.

Shakespeare isn't really a make shit up kinda vibe.

It was awful.

So terrible.

My god I can still feel the embarrassment in my soul.

I threw up after.

I told him all this, and he looked at me and said "shoulda stayed in band, dude."

Yeahhhh, probably.

The thing with that is, someone was an asshole. They told me, "there's no way you're gonna make it here. You're not one of us and you're not an actor. You should just go back to normie school."

And so I decided to stay in theatre after jazz guy came back. I did everything I had time for and some stuff I didn't. I auditioned for shows I didn't even want to be in so that person would see me every single time and when I beat them to a role they assumed they'd get because they were an actor and I wasn't it was the best day of my petty little life.

Am I an actor now? No. Am I still petty? Hell yeah. I see kids in my son's band neg him for not having played music since birth, etc all the time. But he's made it to the FUCKING STATE CHAMPIONSHIPS because he's amazing and also because being petty is apparently genetic. He could have left for sports, he's good at that too, but I know he stays because he loves it and also to let them know he won't be ran off.

However this competition goes, I'm proud of him...and if he fucks up like he's afraid he'll do, then it just be like that sometimes.

[goldheartedsky]

2008 🌹

so this is less a random fact but drama that 15 year old Goldie suffered through

So in 2008 I went to Boston with my band class as a school trip. Mind you we're all pissed about this because previous classes got to go to Italy and Scotland and we're going to fucking Boston because, idk, patriotism?

I'm dating this dude who's a couple years older than me and we've been dating for maaaaybe 4 months? It's not going great. I like to argue and am A Lot™️ and this dude is Grade A pushover and it's not vibing. I'm trying to make it work because he's nice but the cracks are already appearing. Now one of my friends in my year is also dating a dude who goes to a different school and is not on the trip with us. Mind you this other dude is the WORST. We've been telling her to dump him for years. She won't. Go figure.

So on this trip, she has this big fucking meltdown because she (finally??) realizes how awful this dude is after we find out they had sex for the first time and used Saran Wrap and a rubber band as a condom substitute and me and our other friends proceed to lose our minds. She ends up breaking up with him after a two hour conversation in the bathroom that we are all absolutely listening to. One of my guy friends is the main one to comfort her and we're all like 👀 when he pets her head while she's crying.

The giant bus we're on ends up getting into a car accident on the way back from this trip and I absolutely cannot deal with the dude that I am dating because he's hovering and being extra clingy and I can't do it anymore. I end up dumping him the day after we get back from this trip via two page letter.

Now, since my friend is newly single, she and my guy friend end up dating. Which doesn't last long and he ends up coming out as gay after their breakup. She then proceeds to date my ex bf and they actually got married right after HS and are still married like, 10 years later.

idk but I feel like I dodged that bullet *hardcore*

[jedivszombie]

okay because I think this is literally the funniest thing in the world I am going to share this extremely niche story that like only one of you may appreciate.

anyway, picture this it is July of 2010 and I was in Year 9 (I was 15) at school and my drama club ended up going to London to the O2 Arena to perform our abridged version of Much Ado About Nothing (which was set on a boat a lá the loveboat, thank you Mr McCarthy for being a legend and genius) on the streets outside as part of this festival we were participating in. 

so we do the performing during the day and then with a boat load of other UK schools get to go to a festival at the O2 with people like The Saturday’s, Eliza Doolittle, Tinchy Stryder etc performing. so Melvin from KISS radio and one of his co-hosts are hosting the festival and like it takes ages for everything to get ready so we’re doing mexican waves upon mexican waves while McCarthy has bogged off pretending to be security to see how far down the corridor he can sneak himself. 

so The Wanted are at this festival and after we’ve all screamed and cheered along to The Saturday’s these dudes that no one of us have heard of rock up on the stage and start trying to amp us up (when like dudes we’ve just had The Saturday’s it’s literally 2010 they are massive we don’t need to be amped up more) and they’re all like ‘It’s Wanted Wednesday’ and keep trying to get us to say it, which of course we do but my school (like 20 people out of thousands) are like wait what? it’s a Tuesday? so we start shouting ‘It’s fucking Tuesday’. we were like ‘who the eff do they think they are? we wanna see tinchy stryder’. so they sing all time low (which we end up discovering is a banger) and then like a week later they release it and we’re all like oh dope we heckled them a week ago. and then they ended up getting reality tv shows and released three albums. 

[ihavenocluedude]

The Visits ~ Planning (part 1/?)

Eddie Munson x Fem!reader 

Link to reading this on Ao3       Link to my main masterlist

Link to The Visits masterlist

A/N - This first part is hella short but it’s mostly sort of a prologue ish thing? All of the other parts are going to be much longer though. The plan was to start posting this once I’ve officially written it all but I desperately want to get this out before volume two comes bc I am so not ready for vol.2... Jfc.

Summary - Eddie’s been your best friend for as long as you can remember. Even nowadays when you’re at college several hours away he wants and makes the effort to visit. And now he wants to visit for a whole week. 

The last part(s) are planned to be 18+ so... I recommend not reading this if you’re a minor but if you want to read the chapters leading up to it then fine but dni with the ones I actually warn are going to be 18+ thnks. 

Word Count - 689

Spring, 1986

”I want to visit.”

”Yeah?”

”A week. Start of summer break.”

”A week? You’ve only been here like a day at most before. Are you sure you’re not going to get sick of me?” Well, that maybe wasn’t completely true. But the first visit had just been a weekend, where he got there late on Friday night and left mid-Sunday. And the second was just one night.

”We literally spend almost every day together when you’re in Hawkins-”

”True.”

”- and I would like to get there and not have to drive home the day right after or to just have one single day of not being on the road.” He explained, his voice sounding rushed but trying to talk slowly as to let every ’argument’ settle in, and sighing before he added ”And… I miss you.” He did have some very good arguments. And having Eddie in your apartment for more than just a day, in the city you honestly loved more than you’d ever loved Hawkins? That would make the city infinitely better. After all, Eddie was one of the factors that made Hawkins way better.

”You do know you’re just going to sort of delay my arrival to Hawkins if you visit when summer break begins?”

”Perfect, I can drive you back so you don’t have to sit on that fucking bus again.”

”Eddie. The bus is fine.” It was expensive, uncomfortable, and had once caused you to get sick for two weeks because someone with a cold they shouldn’t have been traveling with sat right next to you. So it wasn’t great but it was fine.

”But it would cost way less to just come with me. The trip would be almost completely free in fact.”

”Almost completely?”

”Well I do expect you to pay for snacks.” Eddie scoffed with a laugh with a tone that told you that it was clearly obvious. You loved those kinds of moments where you could hear the grin on his face through the phone. The sort of moments where you could just picture him.

The grin on his face, his jacket thrown just somewhere on the floor, him laying on his bed, probably smoking, and some music playing way too quietly for being metal music in the background. You missed laying there beside him, sharing the smoke or just talking shit, feeling the warmth of his body next to you.

”Of course…” You chuckled in response before letting out a sigh and continuing, ”Fine Eddie. I’ll let you drive me back. So, when are you visiting?”

~~~

You’d known Eddie for longer than you could remember.

Which meant that you remembered the fluffy-haired child who’d smile at almost every person he met. That you remembered the more sheltered kid who’d buzzed his hair one day impulsively. That you remembered the teenager who’d rant to you about music and almost force you to all of his band’s performances. And that you know the Eddie who still reminds you so much of that fluffy-haired kid.

But all of this also meant you had seen him through the process of him building up the walls to try and protect himself from others. Seen him stop being that child who’d smile at everyone. Seen how it affected him when the kids at school first started calling him a freak.

It wasn’t like any of it affected your friendship, not in a bad way anyway. It was all just cruel kids, or just in general cruel people. You were just happy you were there for him. That you could be the person he’d biked to in the middle of the night when he was 12. Scared shitless because of a nightmare he’d had when his uncle was working his regular night shift. Or be the person who’d constantly shout back insults at the bullies whenever they called him a freak until he pretty much forced you to stop doing that.

Eddie Munson might just be one of the most valuable people in your life. And that is scary as fuck when you’re both still growing up and currently not even doing it together anymore.

[harveywritings92]

BNHA Dad scenario: You get your quirk! 2

Izuku: [You inherited your grandmother's quirk, you can telepathically pull objects towards you, but your is a tad bit stronger then hers.]

He was worried when you didn't show any signs of having a Quirk, and was mentally panicking that you'll wind up singled out like he was growing up! Of course today that was all going to change Izuku was taking a nap, when he heard something topple over, his green eyes opened as he looked over and saw you weren't sitting in front of the TV watching cartoons, he sat up now fully awake. "Y/n?" called out looking around the living room for his four year old.

then heard something fall in the kitchen. "Y/N!" Izuku jumped from the couch and ran into the kitchen to find you sitting on floor, mouth and hands covered chocolate with snack cake & cookie wrappers surrounding you; whimpering and holding your stomach, obviously not feeling well... Izuku was about to scold you for sneaking into the snack cupboard! But paused when he realized the snack cupboard was on top of the fridge... Way too high for you to reach. "Y/n, how did you get those cupcakes?"

You looked at him like a deer in the headlights... before turning green in the face and throwing up all the snacks you had stolen, causing your broccoli haired dad to briefly forget about what he was inquiring, pick you up and rush you to the bathroom! 

He made sure you were on empty and got you in the bath and than cleaned the kitchen, he then went checked on you... just in time to see you telepathically pulled a bottle of bubble-bath off the shelf towards the tub, ready to pour it all out! only for him to grab it at the last second. "Nice try..." He huffed giving you a stern look, yes he's happy you weren't Quirkless, but that didn't mean you were off the hook for raiding the snack cupboard!

-----------------------------------------------------

Shoto: [Your mom's Quirk is called Cyclone breath, she can breath in air and blow out powerful winds, His ice half combined with her wind quirk, Creating yours: Frost-breath, which is pretty powerful on it's own, the only downside is that just like your mom if you over use it, you get asthma like symptoms, so you gotta carry around an inhaler.]

Your family had sat down to dinner, you were having mac and cheese, but it was little to hot so naturally you did the logical thing and blew on it! both your parents flinched at the sudden drop in temperature they looked at each other, then at you to see you gawking down at your now frozen dinner shock, giving them both this help me look.

It took a lot of training with your mom to figure out how breathe with without turning everything in front of you into a skating rink! It sucks you got to carry around an inhaler around now, but ever since your quirk manifested it been harder to breathe without it, That Your older cousin [Dabi kid.] and her creepy friend {Shigaraki kid} seemed love using you as their personal Air conditioner and popsicle maker in the summer despite your uncle Dabi telling them to stop!

---------------------------

Warning here: Hawks scenario is fricking long! Cos my lazy but decided to combined two ideas into one, it might as well be it's own one shot!

________

Hawks: [Technically You inherited your mom's quirk Cheshire, it's a teleportation quirk it kinda works like.... um, If anyone played God of War 4, It's like how the dwarves can slip between realms, like people can see it, but their minds can't properly comprehend it, so it just look like your walking behind a tree, only to be seen coming out from behind a flagpole a few feet opposite the way you were just walking, however you also have little red wings on top of your head.

that are pretty much useless, but they're the only thing (aside from his eyebrows) that you got from your dad, Which Hawks finds adorable especially when they flap up and down when your happy or puff up when your angry.]

You ran away from home some bullies at school and your mean babysitter had convinced you that you weren't Hawk's real daughter and your Quirk seem to solidify that theory, so while your sixth babysitter? (You lost count) was distracted, you packed up some clothes and a sandwich and left, the whole time watching this delusional woman, (She thinks she's dating Hawks) rummage and steal from your mom's memory box, not even concerned that you've been quiet this entire time.

That was fine you'll be long gone by the time she notices... you thought as you put your hat on to cover the tiny wings on your head, ignoring the itchy feeling you got from your fuzzy down feathers brushing against their nylon prison, You looked at your room one last time as you remember all the fun times had here before slipping away into oblivion... and stepping out of the haze from behind a light-post across the road from your apartment building, and started walking you didn't know where, but anywhere was better then here, maybe if your lucky you'll find your real parents... You paused and glanced back at the apartments one last time then kept walking... sniffling all the while.

Meanwhile...

Hawk took a break off patrol he had weird feeling in the pit of his stomach that something was wrong, as soon as he step through the balcony door his heart dropped, he couldn't sense you anywhere in the nest! his instincts were on fire! as his feathers surveyed the penthouse for you, then stilled when they sensed someone moving around in his room. Keigo's eyes narrowed as he silently walked to his room to find your babysitter going through his late wife's belongings wearing her jewelry…

"What do you think you're doing?!" he said through gritted teeth causing your baby to jump and whip her head around to see Hawks glowering at her rage in his eyes. "Honey...I mean Hawks! y-your home early...um um." she stammered something whizzed by her embedding itself in the wall behind her, she hastily started taking off the earrings and necklace and his wife's engagement ring, telling him it's not what it looks like! 

He noticed her phone on the floor before she could stop him, his feather's snatched it he saw all the dating crap she'd lying and posting about, but really set him off was text she had sent talking about you... calling you an orphan and plans to send you away once Her Darling "opens his eyes" Keigo's rage reached it's boiling point, people can say whatever they want about him, But don't ever involve his little girl... it won't end well. Your babysitter watched in horror as Hawks destroyed her phone, then took a step back turned his death gaze on her.

"Get out, you're fired."

"But but… Hawks baby I lo-"

"Did I fucking stutter? I said get out!"

"*runs out of the penthouse crying*"

He knows that delusional woman was in the hall outside of his penthouse waiting for him come after her, she's not the first woman he hired who thought they're were the heroine to whatever fantasy they've concocted in their head, She'll find out pretty quickly that Hawks didn't give two craps about her as the apartment's security had been called to escort her out, what he cared about at the moment was; where. in. the. fuck. was. his. daughter? After the rage had subsided panic had soon set in as Hawks barged into your room the drawers were opened , your backpack and sleeping bag and [fav plush] were missing! Your dad started hyperventilating.

That woman... Had she done somethin to you?! He was going to call security and put her in holding ….Then Keigo felt it, that chill in his wings the familiar feeling of being physically pulled out of reality... he followed the feeling and he looked in your closet and found one of his feathers stuck...no, fused the wall, *You have her Quirk, Why didn't you tell me...* he thought then remembered what your mom had told him told him to do when his feather gets stuck in something... "Just clear your mind and think of me, your feather will find me …" Taking a deep breath Hawks closed his eyes thought about you, seeing you...finding you... like that the feather was free.

Meanwhile.

It had started to rain as you walked down through a park not sure how far you walked, but your feet and knees were hurting from the fall you had earlier, you saw some kids from your school got scared and ran you ended up tripping and rolling down a hill, scratching up your legs and covering your clothes in mud and grass stains...

While you were looking down at the ground moping a pair of shoes walked into your field of vision as a shadow sudden casted over you, your [y/ec] eyes looked up and saw a man wearing a dark hoodie that covered most of his face, his cerulean eyes regarded with mild concern. "You okay there kid?" he asked eyeing your legs and puffy eyes, That broke the dam all the stress and torment you endured the passed couple months all came out in loud wail..

The guy standing over you to panicked and tried shushing you, before picking you up and carrying you off, luckily bystanders mistook it for a parent dealing with their child's tantrum, and that's how you found yourself sitting on a bench under a bus shelter. while the man who introduced himself as Dabi put band-aids on your legs...which was strange, cos someone who looked like Dabi didn't look the type to carry glow-in the dark neon-rainbow band-aids! "They ain't mine...I got a kid about your age back home." the stapled faced man stated as if reading your mind, he sighed taking a seat next to you and examined your miserable expression, you looked very familiar but he couldn't quite place it... Something about those eye brows...  he shook his head.

"Speaking of home, you gotta a number on ya? I bet yer parents are probably looking for yo-" You cut him off. "I don't have parents and no ones looking for me!" You huffed stubbornly Dabi cocked a brow very skeptical at that claim, and was about voice that thought when something red caught his attention... His cerulean eyes squinted at the pole the bus schedule was nailed to and was surprised to see a familiar red feather just kind of shot itself out from behind it...

He watched it kind of sway around before pointing directly at you. "You're sure no one's looking for you?" he said watching feather bristle then harden when he spoke up, his eye twitched knowing that was a mistake, if that was here then that meant... *Ew, someone actually reproduced with that Kentucky Fried Dumbass?!* Dabi snorted.

"I know he's not looking for me, he wasn't my daddy he just felt sorry for me...Just like everyone else."

"Well everyone else is an idiot... and your old man obviously cares for ya!"

"No he doesn't... he didn't even go to my school on parents day..."

"look, kid I don't know what's going on with you and Chicken-Tenders, but he obliviously loves you."

"How would you know?" You wept keeping your puffy eyes on the ground and tears fell from you eyes, Dabi's voice had nervous edge as he spoke up again. "Because he's here..." You looked up at the scarred man in disbelief, only to see him starring dead ahead with a serious expression on his face, the little wings on your head twitched under your hat as you followed his gaze just in time to see your dad land, But something was off...

His wings were darker than usual and his eyes were feral and scary looking, like he was going murder someone... "Dabi.." he growled fist clenched as he slowly walked towards the two of you, when said cremator slowly stood up causing your dad's feather's to go haywire. "Easy Hawks... You know I'm not in that business anymore." Dabi said calmly holding his hands up, this only made Hawks more agitated a low growl escaped his throat.

"Leave..." the blond hissed obviously giving Dabi one chance, the scarred just put his hands in his hoodie pockets and walked, but as he was passing your dad. "Might want to set that kid's head straight, cos you're on the verge of losing her for forever." Hawks shot him a glare as he went over to you who was curled up on the bench looking at your dad scared.

Dabi watched from a good distance as his old enemy resolved things with his daughter there was a lot of yelling at mainly him screaming "Why did you run, what were you thinking Y/n?! I already lost your mom I don't want to lose you too! …"  a bus drove pass blocking out whatever else he was saying, as the bus passed Hawk now crouched at your level, he's guessing you were telling him what's going on... 

Hawks looked devastated with every word you were saying. He said something to you before taking you hat off, giving Dabi a view of the little red wings on your head he looked at Hawks managing to read his lips "You may not have my power, but those are definitely my wings!" the two of you hugged before Hawks picked you up and flew away.

Dabi waited a few seconds before taking out his phone looking through his contact and picking [My Fairy] and waited a few moments. "Hey babe... how goes the homestead?" his wife told how things were going at the dive and him it was al none of the rowdy guys bothered her. "Good to hear... is the kid still up?" Dabi waited a few second hearing his wife call his daughter over. "Hey, Firefly, how you doing?" he smiled as his daughter told him how her day went. "That's good, I'll be home tomorrow, give yer mom a kiss for me alright?...I love you too, Firefly" He hummed and hung up started walking down the street.

Back to Hawks

You both took a few days off to cool down they went out of the city for a while and visited your mom's grave, Hawks hardly let you out of his sight if he wasn't in the room one of his feathers was always there. He let you sleep in his bed for the first couple nights, when it was time to go back to school.

You sighed expecting another babysitter or sidekick to take you, instead you were surprised to find you dad waiting for you, which was bewildering he's usually gone or sleeping when you leave. "Why are you here?" you asked bemused you dad smiled and patted your head. "I'm taking you school obviously." He said taking you over the balcony and picking you up.

"Hang on tight Chickadee." he said before lift off the wind felt nice blowing through your down feathers the little wings on your head started subconsciously started flapping, which caused your dad chuckle at cute display, when he finally made to your school all the kids were in awe to see the #2 pro-hero landing in there playground, but what really got the kids was the fact that he was carrying you! 

Your teacher nervously came out the greet him where Hawks loudly exclaimed. "Oh, yes sorry for the late introduction and  thank you for looking after my daughter." His sharp eyes carefully caught every face in playground and noticed a certain group of kids looking like a deer in the head lights. It didn't take him long to figure out who putting all that orphan crap in your head, he made note to have a word with they're parents...

Keigo was brought out of his thoughts by you tugging on him. "Daddy let me down." he looked at you bemused before remembering right school!... Damn it, he didn't want to let you go! your first day was months ago! He reluctantly set you on the ground but didn't let go of your hand. Why the hell was the separation anxiety kicking in now? *because you weren't there the first time...* he mentally berated himself for missing out on that mile stone several in fact.

 The blond was confused why the school hadn't been calling him about you, he found out that one of his PR directors had been intercepting anything school related meant for Keigo and sending random representatives or sidekicks to attend them... Because apparently being a widowed father didn't look cool or edgy enough for the #2 hero's public image, Needles to say that guy wasn't part of Hawk's PR teams by the end of the day.

Keigo walked you the front door then crouched down at your level. "I'll be waiting right here when it's time go home, alright?" You nodded the and hugged your dad, (who may or not of slipped a feather on you, just in case.) "Have a good day, I love you." You nodded as walked inside leaving your dad outside, he stared at the school by before taking a deep breath and flying off...

=================================

{Wing horns photo source from a Manga called: Demon mother!}

[youweremyversaillesatnight]

Since I don’t have time to write this at the moment (or a plot for it), I’m going to share all my thoughts about a marching band au with y’all.

Instruments:

Simon is the color guard captain.

Wille plays mellophone. They’re not section leader, but they are a soloist.

August has two possibilities—he’s either the trumpet section leader or a quad player. I mean no hate to quad players with this. I do mean hate to trumpet players.

Erik was definitely the trumpet section leader. He’s graduated by now, but he still comes back to visit all the time.

Madison is the color guard vice-captain/co-captain. She’s better at flag, whereas Simon is better at rifle and sabre.

Felice plays clarinet her first year but switches to euphonium once she stops doing everything her mom thinks she should.

Sara plays euphonium too! Low brass are the weirdest people you’ll ever meet, so they make Sara seem positively normal. This is not an insult to either Sara or any low brass section. I love you weirdos.

Alexander plays the flute (he’s the token boy in the flute section), but for marching band, he’s a drum major.

Vincent and Nils are second trumpets. If Nils ever gets out from August’s thumb and stops being a dick, I could see him switching to bass drum.

Stella and Frederika are flutes. If you’ve ever been in marching band, the reason for this should be obvious. Flutes are gossipy as fuck.

Henry and Walter play tenor and baritone saxophone. They’re on the edge of all the drama, but like to pretend they’re Switzerland. Also, they have petty beef with the rest of the low reeds always.

Rosh and Ayub are pit kids. Rosh plays synthesizer and Ayub plays drum set now, but they definitely started out on rack.

Linda isn’t a band kid but she gets an honorable mention here because she’s the band mom that is involved with absolutely everything. She volunteers for every competition, sews silks for the guard, hems uniforms, helps build props - literally everything.

This is the vague beginnings of a plot:

Wille and Simon meet for the first time at band camp. My thinking is that Wille transfers their sophomore/junior year, instead of partway through their first year, so Simon has already been established as captain.

Wille is walking across the quad to get to the band room when they spot Simon on the grass, practicing one of the solos from the previous year, and promptly trip down the three stairs there and fall flat on their face because Simon is wearing a crop top and leggings and has a little heart sticker on his cheek and that’s just too much for their queer heart to handle.

Simon sees them fall— “Are you okay? Is your instrument okay? That looked like a pretty bad fall.” and Wille is just staring at him with heart eyes, absolutely no thoughts in their brain other than “pretty boy saw me fall and asked if I was okay”.

They end up hanging out a lot because the show that year has a mellophone solo accompanied by a sabre solo. The rest of the band has to learn drill and choreography for that section, so Wille and Simon are just chilling (the band director forgot about them).

That’s how they become friends, and then eventually get together.

And now for the rest of my random thoughts:

August is the biggest DCI bitch and he’s so pretentious about it. As in, he goes to finals every year, but always talks down on the corps and the shows when he gets back. He thinks that the only good shows are from before 2000, pretty much, and always puts those on when he gets ahold of the projector on show days. Also, he complains constantly that their school marches straight leg instead of bent leg.

This might be a thing that only my school did, I’m not sure, but as soon as we got off the freeway on our way to any competition, a section leader would call “silent bus” and no one would be allowed to talk until we were parked. In winter season, we would run through the show, but most buses didn’t do that for fall. All that to say, August is definitely the one to call silent bus and shush anyone who talks, but then turns around and talks to his seatmate or whichever tech is closest.

As color guard captain, Simon gets to help choose which section they share a bus with for the season, so obviously, he makes sure it’s the mellophones so he can sit with Wille. They bring comfy blankets and snacks and watch movies/listen to music and cuddle on the buses. Also, they’re definitely the couple that fucks on the bus on the way home.

Simon takes his role as captain super seriously—he’s always willing to help out the freshmen (or anyone that needs it) and he has extras of literally everything in his locker or his backpack. He and Maddie help all the guard kids do their hair and makeup on show days, and when Wille’s hair starts growing out, he helps them put it up so it will go under their shako too.

If they have time before a show, Simon will paint Wille’s nails. Kristina doesn’t let them have their nails painted, but no one can see it on the field because they’re wearing gloves, and she either doesn’t come to the shows or doesn’t say hello to Wille at all, so they’re safe in the performer side of the stands to be themself.

Wille marches DCI one year (my thoughts are probably Blue Knights for world or Pacific Crest for open) and Simon steals their corps jacket all the time. Wille pretends to be annoyed by it, but they secretly love being able to claim Simon as theirs like that.

(To anyone who doesn’t know: most people don’t march corps to begin with, so having a jacket is very much a status thing, and, more importantly, corps jackets are typically monogrammed with the performer’s name, so Simon is literally walking around with Wille’s name over their heart.)

I will not apologize for projecting here: Wille's favorite shows are SCV 2018 and The Cavaliers 2019. Simon doesn't care much for DCI, but he loves the vibes of Bluecoats 2019. His favorite winter guard show is Diamante 2019 (I know next to nothing about winter guard but I love this show).

Simon is still an amazing singer, so any time they need a vocal soloist or someone to record samples, he’s the one that does them. The band director loves him because he’s so multi-talented.

If Simon were to play an instrument, I think he’d probably play bass clarinet. This is both me projecting and also genuine thought—he’s very much a supporter and he’s always trying to help everyone else, and that’s kind of what a bass clarinet does. they’re not meant to be heard, but they add an undertone that isn’t there otherwise. Also, everyone gets very excited when they see a bass clarinet in a marching band and I think Simon would love those quiet moments of recognition when they’re passing another band on their way to the field.

Those are my thoughts, I hope you enjoyed them. If anyone else has thoughts, feel free to add them.

[lambden]

Here’s some belated Geraskier fic that I finally get to post, as last week’s flash fic challenge has wrapped up! This was originally published anonymously; kudos to those of you who guessed that I was the author. Head to the collection to see the picture prompt that inspired this, as well as view the other works. I've been having a great time participating in fandom events like this; I promise there's more on the way!!! (Read on AO3)

Up To Date

prompt: "You were so hot that when you asked if I was the blind date you were looking for, I lied and said yes. But then your actual date comes up to introduce themselves and I'm so embarrassed."

G, 2.3K words, modern AU, Geralt/Jaskier

It shouldn’t be this difficult to find inspiration. He never used to struggle like this in high school, finding his muse in everyone and everything. Even his mundane trip on the city bus to and from school would give Jaskier hundreds of ideas, for poems too personal to publish or lyrics too deep for his band to use. Back then he had thought he lacked discipline and experience, so the clear choice had been to take his interest in poetry one step further and go to university.

The problem, as he’s now discovering halfway through his second year, is that he maybe hates university. He loves it, of course; he loves the praise from his professors and peers, he loves learning about the history of literature and art. He even loves the academic rivalries that wax and wane every term, and the competitions that ignite a mean streak in him he didn’t know he had.

But his assignments are of worse quality than anything he’s ever written before, and try as he might, they aren’t getting any better. Putting words on the page just to meet a count is impossible for a poet, not when the space and thoughts and images are all supposed to be cohesive. Poems used to flow from him so freely he hadn’t been able to keep track and now his well of motivation has just about run dry.

That’s what led him here, for the third time this week. His creative dysfunction has forced him into the day-to-day habits of an elderly man who spends his days reading in public gardens. It hasn’t helped so far, but maybe this third time will be the charm. Jaskier finds his favorite place: right by the koi pond, next to a strange art installation with ivy crawling along it. He sits at the base of the giant question mark, dropping his backpack onto the bench beside him.

“This better fucking work,” mutters Jaskier to himself and the koi, opening today’s book to a random poem. He refuses to let his mind wander at first, gluing his eyes to the page and reading with intense intent. The first poem he sees is about love.

Groaning, Jaskier flips the page. The next poem is also about love.

The third poem is about war, and Jaskier thinks that might be alright, until he realizes what this long-dead poet is trying to tell him, which is that war is also about love. Because it is, of course, but also of course it is. Jaskier scowls deeply and flips through the book to a random page, hoping to find something to spark inspiration that won’t just make him feel hopeless and single and hopelessly single.

Before Jaskier can get through the title, someone speaks to him, startling him so badly he jumps. “Are you Yennefer’s friend?”

Jaskier scrambles to catch the book by its cover and nearly drops it. He hadn’t even heard anyone approach. “Sorry?”

The stranger audibly sighs, as if Jaskier has inconvenienced him terribly. With all the force of someone announcing their presence at their own death row, he grits out, “I’m here for a blind date she set up. With you.” Jaskier looks up at the man and sees him wearing a blank expression, pointing at the question mark in front of the bench. “By the thing.”

“Oh,” Jaskier says, still looking at the man. It takes a second for the words to sink in because the stranger is perhaps the most handsome person Jaskier has ever seen. He could write a thousand poems and still fail to capture his beauty. He has golden eyes, for one, and a sharply chiseled face. Even grimacing like this, his jaw is set in the loveliest way, and his stern brow is framed by platinum white hair, half-tied up. He’s wearing a fairly gloomy outfit for a blind date, but maybe he told whoever Yennefer is that he would be dressed in black. Regardless, he’s making it work.

The gorgeous stranger is still waiting for an answer, scowl worsening as Jaskier tries to make his decision about how the fuck to handle this. Really, there’s no decision at all— he just impulsively takes the leap. All his best ideas come when he’s stumbling forward blind anyway. “Yes,” he finally says, jumping to his feet. “Yes, um, I’m sorry, you caught me off-guard. I’m Jaskier.”

“Geralt.” They’re of a similar height, but Geralt is so much wider. Jaskier wants to climb him like ivy on a question mark. “I’m sorry I interrupted.”

“It’s fine! I got here a while ago. You know, can’t be too early!” Jaskier has never been early for anything in his life. He sits down again and shoves his books into his bag as quickly as he can. Geralt shifts his weight back and forth between his feet before awkwardly sitting on the bench next to Jaskier, looking out at the garden. “I’ve never done this kind of thing before,” he admits, which is true. His usual lies and schemes are much less chaotic.

Geralt doesn’t reply to that, leaving Jaskier to privately wonder about his dating life. He stares at the plants, giving the impression that he might be hideously nervous. Jaskier has no idea why someone like Geralt would be nervous about anything but it’s an awkward situation, to say the least. Right as Jaskier’s about to suggest they get out of here before Geralt’s real date shows up, the man asks, “What were you reading?”

“I was studying, sort of,” Jaskier says. “I’m a student.” Then abruptly he wonders how much Geralt knows about who he’s supposed to be, and he swallows, pulse racing.

Glancing over, Geralt’s yellow eyes meet his. There’s no obvious doubt there, just a curiosity. “What’s your major?”

“Poetry,” Jaskier grins as their conversation starts to pick up something resembling a rhythm. “What about you, are you in school?”

“No,” says Geralt, cutting his dreams of a normal date conversation short. “Are you any good? At writing poetry?”

What a weirdo. Jaskier’s heart thrums. “I’d like to think so!” This, at least, is something he knows how to talk about. Except, of course, it isn’t really the truth. “Well… recently, I’ve been in a bit of a creative rut. Just waiting for the right burst of inspiration to come along.” Perhaps this blind date that he’s stolen will suffice, but he doesn’t say that. “This place is great for that, actually. I mean, it hasn’t worked yet, but I’m sure any day those fish will sing for me.”

Geralt blinks. Jaskier feels a bead of sweat run down the back of his neck. He tries a different tactic, crossing his ankles and asking politely, “Are you a reader? What kind of things do you enjoy?”

“Nonfiction,” Geralt answers, slightly stilted. His gaze drifts over to the plants once more. “Not biographies, more like… encyclopedias and field journals. I like field journals.”

“Alright,” Jaskier says, shrinking into himself. This is going terribly. “I’ll have to go bribe some scientists for their field journals, then.” The corner of Geralt’s lip twitches, and Jaskier’s stomach flips. Gorgeous and weird and maybe, although he’s trying his best to hide it behind seven layers of nerves, maybe a little amused by Jaskier. Jaskier is going to fuck him right here in the garden. “Do you take journals of your own for work?”

A rather roundabout way of asking ‘what the fuck is it that you do’ but somehow, it lands. “I’m a… researcher,” Geralt mumbles. How very vague. “But I don’t publish my findings very often.”

Jaskier raises an eyebrow. “Do you work… for a company?”

“No.”

“Right. So you’re just keeping all your findings to yourself for no good reason at all.”

“No.”

“Then it sounds like you’re a pretty terrible researcher, actually.”

Geralt’s eyes flash as he turns to glare at Jaskier. “What?”

“Well, if you don’t share what you’ve found with anyone—”

“My… colleagues—”

“Aha! So you have colleagues!” Jaskier pokes Geralt’s side. “You aren’t just holed up in some depressing storage unit with months and months of research just for you.”

Once more, Geralt half-smirks. Not even half— more like a one-fifth smirk. “Years,” he admits.

“Years…” Jaskier tilts his head to the side thoughtfully. “Why do I have the feeling that you’re perhaps a significant number of years older than me?”

“I had the same thought when I saw you sitting here,” Geralt mumbles.

Jaskier snorts. “Seems like something Yennefer should have warned us about, perhaps. I would ask you directly how old you are, but I’m fairly certain that the only response I will get is a very gruff no.”

“No,” says Geralt, nearly smiling.

Making a show of pouting, Jaskier folds his arms over his chest. “Is that your favorite word?”

“No.” Geralt breaks into laughter as he repeats himself, and his whole face lights up with it. Jaskier laughs too, delighted by how joyous Geralt looks. He’s even more beautiful when he’s happy like this, and Jaskier wants very badly for this not to be their last date. “If I tell you my favorite word, you’re bound to judge me for it, as a poet.”

“As a poet, I swear not to mock you,” Jaskier raises his hand to cover his heart, barely restraining himself from grinning.

But before Geralt can share whatever it is, someone else approaches their bench. A second stranger— a woman about his height with short brown hair, wearing a pretty blouse. Jaskier notices her much more quickly than he’d noticed Geralt, and he makes the connection instantly. This can’t possibly end well.

“Oh, Yen wasn’t kidding,” says the stranger, eyeing Geralt. “You are very distinctive!”

Geralt stares back at her, slack-jawed for a moment. “What?”

“I’m Renfri,” Geralt’s date introduces herself. Jaskier wishes the earth would open up and swallow him whole, especially when she glances over at him. Her gaze slides back to Geralt, as does Jaskier’s, and yeah, he is very fucking distinctive with that white hair and those yellow eyes. Damn. “My friend Yennefer set us up for a blind date…?”

As Jaskier contemplates throwing himself into the koi pond, Geralt twists to stare at him. Jaskier can only imagine how mortified he must look right now; his face burns as both Renfri and Geralt look his way. Perhaps Renfri will figure it out before Geralt says anything; she looks like a smart woman.

But Geralt just gets up, dusting himself off and shaking his head. “No,” he tells Renfri, which would almost be funny if it weren’t the weirdest thing Jaskier has ever seen anyone do. Then Geralt leaves, turning to walk away from both of them, leaving Jaskier and Renfri alone together in the garden. Renfri frowns, watching him go with obvious increasing confusion. Jaskier also jumps to his feet, equally confused but determined not to lose sight of Geralt.

He chases the man— and it does feel like a chase, Geralt must be fucking speed-walking away— and finally tracks him down well outside the garden. Geralt is thundering down a set of stairs leading to a parking lot and he doesn’t stop at the sound of Jaskier careening towards him. Only when Jaskier desperately calls his name does he finally stop, slowing until he reaches the bottom landing and then standing there, still.

“I’m sorry,” Jaskier calls down the stairs, breathless. He begins to descend them but Geralt doesn’t turn around. “Fuck, you’re fast! Shit. I’m sorry, Geralt.”

Without looking his way, Geralt complains, so quietly that Jaskier nearly misses it, “Yennefer is going to kill me.”

“I would have fucked off,” Jaskier says quickly, hurrying down the rest of the steps until he gets to the bottom. Geralt still doesn’t look at him so Jaskier slides none-too-gracefully into his space, demanding his attention. He’s hardly red in the face or anything, but he looks embarrassed. Jaskier crumbles. “I’m sorry. I— seriously, I don’t care, I would have fucked off. I should’ve left, I should’ve— You should go back there, she’s beautiful!”

Geralt’s nostrils flare but he doesn’t look away. “Why did you lie,” he demands, flat.

“Well,” Jaskier deflates. “Um. You’re beautiful.”

“Hmm.”

“I really am sorry,” he offers.

Geralt, still watching him closely, says, “You don’t sound sorry.”

“What do you want me to do?” Jaskier throws his hands in the air, breaking away from Geralt’s stare— in the greenhouse, surrounded by bright lights and open, manmade nature, it had been easy to sit under the weight of Geralt’s eyes on him. Down here, at the end of a staircase and the entrance to a dark garage, chest still heaving, it feels too intimate. He puts some distance between them, sighing. “You want me to go back there and explain the whole situation to poor Renfri?”

When Jaskier finally turns around again, Geralt’s gaze hasn’t left him. “I want you to come have dinner with me instead,” he says, slowly but purposefully.

“Oh,” breathes Jaskier. “That’s— well, if you want that.”

“I already made a reservation for two. My name’s on the list.” Geralt is fidgeting with the end of his sleeve at first but when he approaches Jaskier he drops it, striding forward without hesitating. “Table for Geralt and one young brunet friend of Yennefer’s.”

Jaskier chokes on his own surprised laugh. “I don’t actually know Yennefer,” he needlessly explains.

“She’s going to hate you,” says Geralt, half-smirking, and then he adds, “Well, she’ll hate both of us now.”

They get to the restaurant twenty minutes late, Geralt’s hair mussed up and lips a bitten red and Jaskier wearing his backpack and a shit-eating grin. The host sees them and immediately tells them their table has been cancelled, and they end up getting terrible two-dollar slices from a hole-in-the-wall pizza place. They eat on the way back to Geralt’s car and then he drives Jaskier back to campus, kissing him soundly in the door to his apartment until Priscilla comes home and yells at Jaskier to get a room. As they squabble Geralt apologizes, polite and nervous, and kisses Jaskier’s cheek and tells him it was nice to meet him.

Jaskier goes inside and spends the next thirteen hours writing the best poetry he will ever write.

[chaoticparker]

The Bite

Peter Parker x reader

w/c: 3.7k

warnings: swearing, blood, broken glass, tiny bit of angst but mainly fluff

a/n: Let me know what you think <3

masterlist

~~~

“All right everyone off the bus and wait inside the lobby!”

Everyone sprung off their seats on the bus and ran to the door. Today everyone was visiting Oscorp, Norman Osborn’s lab, it was some sort of publicity thing so Norman would get elected mayor of New York. 

You and Peter were sitting next to each other during the bus ride, it was early in the morning and you had to wake up much earlier than what you would of liked to, so you both were still half asleep. “You ready to go?” You looked over at Peter who was still sitting in his seat, staring off into space. “come on Pete get up.” You pulled Peter up which seemed to snap him out of his trance. “You ok?” 

“Yea, I just spaced out sorry.” Peter got up and walked into the aisle with you close behind him. Once you got outside the air was crisp and cold, making you and Peter shiver. You ran into the building to get warm and meet up with the other students.

“Where’s Ned?” Peter asked, you swore you saw him get onto the bus with you this morning, but you’re not sure who he sat with. 

Eventually you spot him in the corner talking to someone, “He right over there, but who’s he talking to?” You turned Peter around and inconspicuously pointed to him and the girl.

Peter took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes and the lenses and put the back on to get a better look. “Thats Betty from the schools morning announcement team I th-”

“Thats Betty?” You whisper shouted. “Ned kept bringing up a girl named Betty and I swore her name was Annie, I mean, she looks like an Annie. But I thought Ned just made her up, I didn’t think she was real” You looked over to Peter who was looking a mixture of shock and surprise. “I am so stupid.”

“First off how did you not know Betty’s name we have homeroom together? And second how did you know Ned had a crush on her?” Peter kept his voice down so he doesn’t draw attention to you both, not wanting Flash to overhear and ruin Ned’s chances.

“I think just have a knack for knowing when someone is in love.” You joked

Only Peter didn’t realize you were joking, “Wait what-” Peter started but was interrupted by Mr. Harrington by splitting the groups in two.

“Groups 1-7 on the left and groups 8-15 on the right! AND REMEMBER TO STAY WITH YOUR BUDDY! I DO NOT WANT TO LOSE ANOTHER KID” He yelled, followed by the women working there having a shocked face and her hushing him. 

You and Peter were group 7, you caught Ned’s eyes and he pointed to the right while you pointed left. Ned also pointed to Betty with a big smile on his face, followed by Peter giving him a thumbs up. 

Peter was worried about what you said, you had a ‘knack for knowing when someone was in love’? What did you mean by that? Peter started to worry that you knew he liked you, and you’ve never confessed anything to him because theres nothing to confess. 

No No No, don’t think like that Peter, he thought, trying to hype himself up, if she knew you liked her why is she still around? Surly if she did not feel the same way she would of left. Or she simply does not know. There is still a chance. 

Peter was snapped out of this thoughts by you tugging him on his sweater, “come on the groups about to leave.” Peter and you speeded walked to the rest of the group so you were with the group but just in the back. “Are you doing ok Pete? You seem distracted.” You looked at him worried. Sure, Peter was an anxious guy, you even talked to him about if he wanted any professional help, but he assured you that he’s fine, just a tad overwhelmed, but this? He seemed so much more stressed and anxious, not to mention the constant spacing out.  

Peter cleared his throat and put his arm around you, “I’m sorry, I guess theres a lot on my mind and I’m not too sure why.” Of course he knew why, he was stressing over the fact you might know he likes him! And also the fact that you might never love him and it was all too much for him too handle. 

“Ok, but you know you can talk to me right?” You said as you gave him a side hug, “We’ve known each other for forever and the most important part of us being so close is that we can talk to each other.” You hoped Peter caught what you were trying to say. In complete honesty you’ve loved him for a long time. Ever since you saw him with his oversized glasses and his star wars shirts. But how could Peter Parker, the selfless, kind person ever love you? And how could you ever love someone so sickeningly sweet? 

You don’t deserve him, you thought, he is completely in love with Liz and never will be with you.

“I know that,” Peter pulled you out of your thoughts, “I just don’t know whats wrong. I just kind of have a weird feeling.” 

Peter hoped you would drop the conversation at that point. He didn’t want to spill his guts to you especially on a school field trip, where you were stuck together. But you just nodded and you turned your attention to the man walking you through the tour. 

“And this here is the bio testing.” He pointed towards a room, “everyone needs to put on goggles and a lab coat-”

“Can we keep the lab coats?” Flash asked.

“No, you cannot keep the lab coats they are not complementary. Now hurry up everyone! If we are lucky we will be able to see the lab techs at work!” 

Everyone started to quickly put their coats and goggles on, and people started to take photos on your phones. One of the people was you and Peter, “Smile!” He said and you both gave a cheesy smile. “I’ll send it to you.”

“Everyone please put your phones in here.” The tour guide handed out a white buckets and everyone groaned. “It is apart of Oscorp's privacy policy. No recording in certain areas such as the testing rooms.”

Everyone gave quite mumbles about how ‘stupid’ and ‘bullshit’ this was, some a little louder than others, and soon enough you were going thought the door with Peter on your side.  

“And here is where we research different animals.” The tour guide showed off the different animals including, snakes, birds and- 

“S-spiders” Peter was stunned, he hated spiders. He claimed that how they just don’t make sense, they can climb onto walls, shoot webs and for some reason are strong? He learned everything about them so if he was ever faced with one, and aunt May or Uncle Ben was not around to get rid of it for him, he would know how to get rid of it himself and stay alive.

“Come on Pete, they are harmless. But it is weird in here, it doesn’t seem like there is any research work, more.. testing.” Why were they testing on animals? Oscorp had branded it’s self on being cruelty free, but the again they did say they help the environment, which was a HUGE lie. 

You grabbed Peter’s hand and shoved in front of of everyone to the front of the group, “excuse me but what exactly do you do with the animals here?” You ask as a man in a dark suit appears behind a door.

The tour guide starts but the man interrupts him, “And whats your name dear?”

“Y/N”

“Well, Y/n, we do research on the animals to see how we can use some features they have, replicate it, and use it.” The guy is clearly mansplaining, his attitude was intolerable.  

“But the equipment you have around here looks like your testing on the animals?” You started but then Mr. Harrington stepped besides you.

“Y/n, I’m not sure if Mr. Osborn can answer your questions thoroughly, lets just continue looking at the animals.”

“Ah, yes thank you. And please make sure not to touch anything.” And with that the man, or apparently Mr. Osborn left. 

It shocked you that you were just talking to the founder of Oscorp, and how blatantly rude he is. 

“Wow whats that” Flash yelled near the window. You, Peter and the rest of the students all ran toward the window to see what was so cool. In the process a kid knocked over the glass container. As the tour guide saw he pressed the emergency button. “EVERYONE OUT NOW!” 

Everyone ran out bumping into each other. Flash bumped into you causing you to trip and fall. “Fucking hell” you groaned. Your whole body was hurting at this point, you started to get up but you cut your hand on the broken glass. “Fuck” Another groan. 

“Y/n? How do you feel?” Peter kneeled besides you trying to help you up but ended up slipping on the glass too cutting his hand and causing his glasses to break, “fuck, come on we need to leave.”

He moved his hand let out a small scream, “PETER ARE YOU OK WHAT WAS THAT?” You completely ignored the pain of your hand and helped grabbed his shoulder.

Peter was shaking his arm violently, “The spider just bit me and it fucking hurt.” Peter quickly got up and you both ran out of the room. You followed the others back to the lobby, the tour ended with Mr. Harrington giving your a band-aid thinking that would help and all of the students were pushed onto the bus.

You were bothering Peter with questions asking if he’s ok, “What about your glasses? How bad is your vision? Does your head hurt? My head would hurt hen I couldn’t see.” You looked over at Peter who sat down in his seat and was tapping his foot.

That question took him off guard, his vision was perfect, like he had contacts in. “I can see just fine, but what about you? How’s your cut” He reached for your hand and looked at you. The cut had stopped bleeding but the cut still looked sore.

“At least we have matching cuts now, hows yours?” You reached for his hand, you saw no cut so you looked at the other, also no cut, “didn’t you get cut too?” 

“I thought i did, maybe it just grazed me, and not enough to actually hurt me. You should probably rest, you fell pretty bad.”

“Your the one that got bit with by the spider I should be asking about you, i’m surprised you aren’t freaking out that a spider was on your hand.” 

“Don’t worry about me I’m fine, do you wanna listen to music?” Peter held up an ear bud and you nodded taking it.

Truth be told everything was too much for Peter, it was like he could feel everything. He felt like he just had 10 red-bulls mixed with 20 cups of coffee. He tried his best to ignore what was going on and sleep but he soon learned he could never ignore what was going on with him.

~~

When Peter thought he got these powers, he did nothing with them, sure he used them to his advantage, maybe to show off at the schools weight room, but other then that he didn’t. If anything his powers made him more confident with himself, he thought that maybe this was a sigh that if he could get powers, he could ask you out.

But all of that changed when we saw Uncle Ben die.

Peter started to be more closed off, he overworked himself to the bone. 

As he started to become Spider-Man, in the process he was losing Peter Parker. 

Peter lost some of the few friends that he had. His friend circle mainly consisted of you, Ned, and MJ. He only saw MJ at decathlon practice and lunch, Ned and him still had their playdates with building legos but he was clearly not as cheerful. 

And with you, he started to text you less and less. You were there when he lost his parents but he was not 6 anymore. He understood death more than anyone else, he saw death happen right before his eyes. You thought that he just wanted some space, maybe you reminded him of him when his parent died. But it got to the point where you were starting to lose your best friend.

You stoped walking to school together, and it hurt. Although you would never admit this to anyone, you felt as though you were losing a part of yourself. Peter was your other half, you completed each other, or thats what you used to think.

You decided to throw yourself into your hobbies. You were trying your best to forget about Peter. Maybe he just outgrew you. Maybe he didn’t need you.

But you need him.

And you hate needing someone. 

But Peter felt the same way. When he decided to become Spider-man, he wanted to make sure no one would get hurt from it. And he even made a costume that would hide his identity. 

And it was far from good looking.

“Peter dude come on you love her! You’re gonna lose her if you keep pushing her away!” Ned was on the phone with Peter, he didn’t know what was going on with him, no one did. He just wanted his friend to be happy, and thats why him and MJ devised a plan. 

“Y/n come on I know you are sick and tired of not talking to Peter! I even think you like him!” MJ yelled on the phone. “You need to talk to him it’s destroying you.”

“She’s the one who’s pushing me away! Im just respecting her wants!” Peter yelled back.

“MJ you’re not listening! You need to realize that Peter grew out of me! He does not want to see me and I don’t know why! I don’t want to hurt him anymore than what i apparently did!”

MJ and Ned had a whole script planned out. They knew how to push you both just right so that you would fall onto the trap. 

“Peter just listen to me! When you next see her confess your feelings! If she does not feel the same you will get closure and nothing else will really change from whats going on! You need to talk to someone with whats going on with you. Tell her everything” Ned delivered the final push, almost done then we can get our friend group back he and Mj thought.

“Y/N! Go find Peter and get your closure! Please, if not for you do it for him! You know how he’s acting weird and you are the only one that can get him to open up! SO GO DOWN ON YOUR FIRE ESCAPE AND KNOCK ON HIS WINDOW AND CONFRONT HIM! NOW!”

“Fine Ned, next time I see her, I’ll tell her.”

“Fine I’ll go see him, bye”

And with that everyone hung up on their separate phone calls. 

You climbed out of your window and onto the fire escape. It was weird how even though you lived so close together you felt so far apart.

You climbed down one, and looked inside. He was walking around his room, being all stressed, which for some reason was relaxing to you. 

You knocked, nothing, so you opened the window and fell into his room with a big thump. “ow”

“Y/N? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU OK?” Peter rushed over to you helping your get up.

“Yes I’m fine Peter but what is wrong with you?” You didn’t mean to sound harsh, but you needed to be. “Why did you stop hanging out with me?” You looked up to him and finally met his eyes. It was refreshing to see him, anytime either one of you caught a glimpse of the other, you ran. “Why did you stop being my best friend?” You voice was quiet now, you didn’t want Peter to know that your voice was cracking. 

It really broke Peter, he was just trying to protect you, but in the end - as cringe as it sounds - he just pushed you away. 

“You seem completely different, you’re not even wearing your glasses anymore. And fuck Peter I just miss you and your dorky glasses. Did you meet someone? Did you get a girlfriend? Did she not like that we were close?” You were just spitting out whatever came to mind, and this scenario was one you were thinking of all the time.

Peter jumped back at your words, “What no! I would never want to date someone if it ment that I could never see you again.” 

Just tell her everything Peter thought about Ned’s words. Everything was a lot. How is he suppose to answer this, just spit it out?

Might as well start with the basics, “I’m Spider-man” Peter blurted out.

“What, you mean like you have a crush on him? Peter thats nothing to be embarrassed of, you know you can talk to me, you know i go both wa-”

“NO I MEAN LIKE I, PETER PARKER, AM SPIDER-MAN!” Peter shouted. Honestly it felt good to say it out loud the first time and he just wanted someone to know. And what better person than you.

“So in the month that you have been isolated from me thats your best excuse you could come up with?” You were appalled by his unbelievable excuse.

“I swear please believe me, like ummmmm HERE” Peter got his ‘suit’ from the  space in his ceiling and gave it to you. “Thats my suit.”

“you and every other fanboy has this.”

“What about... this!” Peter went over to you a picked up. 

“what the fuck put me down!” You did not look impressed, Peter was looking around to see how he could prove to you that he was not lying. 

“Remember that day we went to oscorp and how you questioned Osborn and when you fell?” You nodded, it was your last time you really hung out with him, how could you not? “I got bit by the spider and they were doing radioactive testing on it, which caused me to be well... spider-man.”

Then an idea sprung in his head, he quickly move past you and went on the fire escape and you followed. “Here, if this does not prove it, nothing will.” Peter jumped onto the railing with one hand on the wall.

“Peter what the fuck you’re gonna get yourself killed please I just want you to be honest with me and talk” You reached for Peter but he jumped off the railing and towards the wall and somehow... did not fall and stuck to it?

“Peter what the fuck?”

“now do you believe me?”

“If i say yes will you come back inside?” Peter nodded, “then yes i believe you”

Peter jumped on the side of the building and back onto the fire escape and you pushed him inside and you followed behind him. 

“So since you really are spider-man, why were you so distant?” You finally asked. You were now sitting on opposite ends of his bed, and you were hugging and pillow trying to explode with everything you just learned. Peter fucking parker was spider-man? Nerdy little parker saving everyone, stoping cars with just his body, and defeating criminals? But, he did just stick to the side of his building, thats pretty damn good proof.  Your Peter Parker was Spider-man, the spider-man. 

You thought this was just a dream but you didn’t want to wake up because that would mean Peter and you were still not talking.

“I wanted to protect everyone around me. When Ben died,” Peter took a breath and you reached over to squeeze his hand, “When Ben died, I had my powers but I did not do anything. I could of saved him, but i chose not to. So I decided I would become Spider-man so no one else would get hurt. And if anyone found out that you knew spider-man you would be in danger. So i thought if i pushed the people closest to me away, they wouldn’t get hurt.”

It was all too much for you to process. You felt terrible for feeling angry at him when he was saving lives. 

“Why were you so distant from me?” Peter looked back up towards you and it was a fair question you both avoided one another.

“I thought I reminded you of your parents deaths. Other than Aunt May, I am the one person that has been in your life since their death and I thought you didn’t want to see me because of it. I also wanted to give you space to grieve.” You felt a weight being lifted off your shoulders by telling him. It was calming. “I also didn’t want to hurt you more, so i thought i would wait for you to open up to me like we normally do, but i should not have been so relaxed about all of this. I just didn’t want to ruin what we had” You took one last deep breath. “I’m sorry.”

You glanced up toward Peter and he leaned in and kissed you. It was shocking at first, it took you a second to process what was going on but then you felt light as you melted into the kiss. You felt as though you two were the only ones left in the world. 

Peter pulled back to take a breath, “Ned told me to confess my feelings towards you. I’m sorry I didn’t me to spring it on you-” Peter was interrupted by you hugging him, rapping your arms around his waist and your face on his stomach. 

“I feel the same way, Pete. Just please, I don’t want to do that ever again.” Peter at this point was now hugging you back. You missed this, but there was also something knew, and it made you smile.

“I never will, I promise y/n”

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and Dating Randall “Pink” Floyd

(Excuse the shit gif)(Requested by anonymous)

(Fun fact: I had no idea Jason London had a twin and literally just found that out)

- You and Pink met for the first time after you missed your bus. He’d just finished talking with his friends and was heading out to his car when he noticed you stressing over the payphone, trying to fish quarters out of your bag so that you could possibly get a friend to pick you up.

- You were just about ready to walk home when he tapped you on the shoulder and asked if you were alright. Sighing, you gave him a quick rundown and he immediately offered to give you a ride. You were a tad hesitant, mostly because you didn’t want to be a bother to someone you barely knew but he insisted, telling you that it was no problem.

- A wave of relief washed over you and you gratefully thanked him, following him as he led you to his car. To be clear, you did know of him. You vaguely recalled your friends telling you about him and how nice he was, and of course you’d seen a few of his football games so it wasn’t like you were just hopping into a total strangers car.

- The thing about Pink is that he’s pretty much friends with everybody. No matter who you are, where you come from, or what clique you’re in; he’s down to chat and he’s pretty damn good at it. You’d expected at least a little discomfort and awkwardness during your car ride but there really wasn’t any. He was as sweet as could be and you found yourself actually really enjoying the conversation he’d started.

- Once you arrived at your house, you thanked him profusely to which he only laughed and assured you that it was no trouble at all. Before he left, he gave you a smile and said he’d see you around school. As he pulled away, you realized that you might have unwillingly developed a crush on the boy. ...Little did you know he felt the same.

- When you went to school the next day you hadn’t really expected anything to happen. You figured that he’d given you a ride and that would be that but as you were putting your things in your locker you felt a familiar tap on your shoulder. You turned a bit and there he was, standing behind you with a smile that made you melt.

- He greeted you and asked if he could walk you to class to which you obviously agreed. This sort of thing continued on for nearly a week before he stopped you outside of your classroom and asked if you’d like to come hang out with him and his friends after school. You weren’t about to pass up an offer made by a boy you were really starting to crush on so you said yes. He smiled and told you he’d meet you by your locker after the final bell.

- You spent the entire day anticipating the moment school let out. The instant the bell rang it took everything you had in you not to shoot out of your seat and run down the halls. You took a second to relax, checking yourself over before you started the short trip to your locker.

- By the time you made it there, Pink was already leaned against the lockers beside yours waiting for you. You got your things and the two of you headed out to his car, driving over to where his friends were meeting.

- Once you got there, he introduced you to everyone and excused himself to talk with the guys for a few minutes. You spoke to some of the girls in your grade before he came over and stole you away, leading you to a more secluded area where the two of you could chat in private.

- Prior to this, you only ever really had short conversations so you were more than happy to finally start getting to know each other better. As the two of you sat down, he jokingly proposed that you play twenty questions. You responded “ask me anything” and so the game began.

- For a while, you were both just asking whatever came to mind: what’s your favorite color, favorite food, favorite subject, favorite band, etc. Then you got to the good stuff, the questions that prompted jokes and stories which had you laughing till you nearly cried. It was after one of these stories that he got to ask the question he’d been saving all week.

“When’s the last time someone took you out for dinner?”

“Hmmm,” you laughed, tapping your chin as you pretended to think. “I don’t know. I can’t remember.”

“How about tonight?” You nearly choked on your drink.

“Tonight?” You questioned, wanting to make sure he was saying what you thought he was saying.

“Or now or whenever....” he added, shrugging his shoulders as he attempted to appear nonchalant.

“Yeah, sure. I’d really like that.”

A smile spread across his face as you agreed. “Great,” he told you. “So I’ll pick you up at six?”

- Later that day, he took you to the drive-in and bought you that dinner he’d promised. The two of you went bowling afterwards and you ended the night with a long kiss in the parking lot.

- After a few more dates the two of you became official and you were both as happy as could be.

- There’s not a ton of pda in your relationship but he makes sure everyone knows you’re together. 

- Hanging out on the moon tower. 

- He’s always ready to defend you when things suddenly go south. 

- He’s constantly subtly looking out for you. He always has you walk in front of him so he knows where you are, asks a bunch of people if they’ve seen you when you disappear somewhere, walks on the side of the sidewalk closest to the street, etc.

- It’s the little things that show you he cares. 

- He can cuddle any which way you want but he’s a pretty big fan of laying his head on your chest while you thread your fingers through his hair. He’s a big baby but you’re the only one allowed to know that.

- When you want to be cuddled he pulls you into his side and traces patterns down your hips and thighs. 

- Goodbye kisses. 

- Handholding.

- Handshakes. 

- Sitting on the back of his car with him.

- Getting him to think more rationally and stop overreacting about the sign up sheet or whatever else is bothering him. 

- Inside jokes.

- Playing with his necklace.

- Constantly swapping cars throughout the night. 

- It was the 70′s, everybody smoked weed, and he has a pretty good dealer so if you want to try a little bit of the devils grass then he’s down to supply you with it. 

- Concert dates.

- Late night cruising.

- Sometimes he’ll stumble through your window late at night or really early in the morning, a little drunk and wanting to cuddle... or fuck. 

- Early, early morning drives where the two of you are still a little buzzed but also tired. 

- Cheering him on at his games even though he isn’t fond of playing. 

- Hanging out on the football field. 

- Ruffling his hair.

- Doing a lot of stupid, reckless shit together. 

- Making out a lot. 

- He’s a horny boy, especially when drunk, so be prepared to be felt up every once and a while, or at least for him to attempt to. 

- Let’s not forget that Pink cheated in his girlfriend, alright? Scummy move, obviously, but I feel like their relationship wasn’t the greatest to begin with? Like he really did not seem into her at all 90% of the time and she seemed like she knew exactly what was up whenever he was doing something. So I feel like under different circumstances he wouldn’t cheat on his girlfriend. 

- He flirts and teases you a lot. He loves getting you all shy and flustered. 

- Hearing about all the crazy shit him and his friends get up to, he just scratches the back of his neck and shoots you shy smiles when you look over at him.

- Laying your head in his lap. 

- Sitting on his lap, he sits really far back in his seat in general so you’re always able to gently plop yourself down without any fuss. 

- Since Pink is a bit of an overreacter I can imagine he gets quite jealous. When he does, he doesn’t say anything but he noticeably watches you and the guy until you come over to him. 

- When you’re fighting, he gets super passive aggressive and annoying so you tend to just sigh and give up after a while. Give him some time  to himself and hope for the best, that’s all I can say. 

- He really can’t stand seeing you cry. He hates when you’re upset, he always gets super uncomfortable and just tries his best to cheer you up as quickly as possible. 

- Whenever you have a test, he always tells you not to worry and that you’ll do great. He likes being able to calm you down and be the reason you feel better. 

- Constantly being introduced to new people since he makes friends every other minute. 

- Hanging out at the emporium.

- Going to parties with him. 

- Double dates with Michelle and Pickford. 

- He has a habit of holding/pulling you by the belt/belt loops. 

- Watching him and Dons little comedy routines. 

- Being gently rough with each other, like he’ll “tackle” you down and start making out with you or you’ll slap each others hands away to keep each other from something. 

- Letting him rant when he needs to, even if you think what he’s getting upset over is a little silly. 

- Spending entire nights together. 

- Jamming out to rock albums and going to the record store together. 

- Playing pool and Foosball together. 

- He’s really good at charming your parents and other relatives. Leave it to him, he’ll make them fall in love with him in the span of a barbecue. 

- He loves when you gently touch him. Brushing something off his cheek, pulling something from his hair, things like that. He has and will always melt when you do. 

- Letting him copy off your homework and notes when he ditches class. 

- He says “I love you” sparingly so it always means a lot when he does say it. 

- You don’t really talk about the future but he’s convinced it’s going to be much better than high school... maybe because you’ll be married?

[vanmccannonlyfans]

Cocoon

part i.

But in hell, there was relief in the utter helplessness. Here, your actions had both consequences for yourself, and others. You weren’t sure which was worse.

“How do you have so many of these?!”

Alicia had 10s of boxes of tests in her suitcase, as if they were hotel shampoo bottles or restaurant breath mints. The pink floral branding stuck out against the sea of black leather and denim that comprised her wardrobe.

“Get em in bulk on amazon, cheaper that way and saves me a trip to the store.” As if bulk buying pregnancy tests was as casual as ordering toothpaste or tampons.

You moved to the bathroom to take the test, stepping over used towels strewn across the floor. You were glad you were doing this in a place so impersonal, however uncomfortable. Whatever the outcome, good or bad, you would be able to leave without any memories tainting the space, never to return and have to relive the feeling. If this was your bathroom at home, you’d be reminded every time you had to go.

Alicia camped in front of the mirror, smacking her lips together after every layer of strawberry gloss, the wand alternating between tracing her plump lips and pumping the tube for more product. Leaning against the fake granite hotel counter, she fussed with her raven black bangs and adjusted her top.

“Is it ready yet?” She asked, without averting her eyes from their own contact, her lips now more reflective than the mirror.

“I can’t look..” The room was twisting more than your stomach as you picked up the test, double vision making it impossible to count the number of lines.

Was there just one? Two? How dark does the second one have to be?

“Does this look positive to you?”

Alicia cocked her head at the test, brow furrowed.

“The second line is faint...but it’s there.”

“Fuck,” You exhaled as you fell against the wall, exasperated.

“Didn’t you always want to be parents?”

“Well yes, but...not so soon. We don’t even have a place to live...”

Life on the road was hollow and lonely, even with your best friends. Playing shows every night to strangers who saw you as enigmas, then returning to cold hotel rooms to sleep until the having to get back on the bus or plane for the next event, repeat ad infinitum until you had crossed off a laundry list of places you had stepped foot in but not actually experienced. It all seemed so fun and exciting until you realized that you didn’t know anyone anywhere and were too tired to do things even on days off, and ended up just sleeping the day away and ordering in pizza. It wasn’t a viable situation for raising a child, and hardly sustainable for an otherwise healthy adult.

-

You laid on the scratchy quilted comforter, each tick of the clock intensifying your anxiety, like a bomb about to detonate. Every second brought you closer to confronting a situation that felt neither fully real nor fantasy. Like your whole world depended on what he would think.

The beep of the key card brought you back down to earth from the peaks of your existential dread. You couldn’t wait to be held, comforted, told it was going to be alright, even if neither of you had any idea what to do. His touch was a balm to your aching soul, one that no antidepressant could rival.

Van entered without a word.

“Baby?” You called to him, as if he couldn’t see you.

He remained silent, dropping his guitar case on the ground. After what felt like eons, he looked up toward the window behind you, as if you were invisible.

“I think you should go.” His eyes were sallow, skin dehydrated from all the smokes and shitty fast food and beers every night.

“What?” The single word came out like a croak, your voice evading you. First you couldn’t be seen, now you could hardly be heard, as if you were dissolving from material reality. As if only his acknowledgement made you real. “Van--”

“No,” He cut you off, wiping his nose with the back of his hand, the other on his hip, swiveling him towards the wall. His adams apple rose and fell without a word, bobbing like a buoy on a choppy sea.

“I don’t want to fight about this. I just want you to leave.” He looked down, running a hand through his hair before tucking it under his armpit as if he were chilled.

You were in disbelief. The same man who had invited you to accompany him across the world was discarding you as easily as you had tossed the test that said you were carrying his child into the bin.

“But Van--”

“JUST GO!” He belted, shaking the room with his volume. You had never heard him yell like that, hardly had ever seen him genuinely angry.

You struggled to catch your breath, hot tears erupting from your eyes.

“--I’m pregnant.”

There was a loud crack as Van’s phone hit the wall, leaving a mark.

“STOP LYING!” He thundered, grabbing your shoulders.

He was finally looking into your eyes. His were red and glassy and you could smell the last cigarette on his skin, so much so that you found yourself on the floor throwing up, then running to your suitcase like a wounded animal, then in the brass elevator, then out the lobby and into the street. You weren’t sure where you were going or how you would get there, just that you wanted to be gone.

When your legs finally collapsed from exhaustion, you found yourself out of breath in front of a bodega, simultaneously sweating and shivering from the physical and emotional trauma. You went in to buy a bottle of water and drank it in greedy gulps while scrolling on your phone to take your mind off of your predicament. At the top of your inbox was a flight confirmation, forwarded from the band’s manager. It was a plane ticket back home.

-

The sterile, unfriendly design of airports had always thrilled you. They were an exciting gateway to a new place in the wide world you hadn’t explored much of. You had never even been on a plane before Van had toured outside of the UK. The complete lack of rules and disregard for conventional social norms enchanted you; how strange a place to have bars open at 6am next to designer shops and restaurants more expensive than you had ever eaten in. Van would order bailey’s in your coffee while he had a morning beer, before sneaking tipsy kisses in cheap seats at 42,000 feet.

Now the airport felt like a portal to hell, sucking you back to the place you had escaped from.

You hadn’t told anyone you were coming home, or that you had broken up, or...anything. You hadn’t spoken a word to anyone besides the cab driver who asked which terminal to drop you off at. You weren’t sure who you would tell first, what you would say. If you opened your mouth, nothing would come out. Except maybe some incoherent stuttering and word salad, which fit how you felt inside--both numb and acerbic, cold to the touch but teeming with a pain so primal and acrid it could kill a horse. The water in your stomach felt like it was curdling, and you hoped you could make it through the flight without throwing up.

-

The cab dropped you off on the corner of your parent’s property where the guest house loomed, hardly visible through the gloaming. You fumbled with the key, hoping it hadn’t been changed since the last time. The door rattled open to dusty furniture and soupy air; musty and untouched as if it had been abandoned. You and Van used to sneak in here in for quickies and hold clandestine parties, lighting candles instead of turning on lights to not tip off your parents that you were present. The stain from when someone dropped a bottle of whiskey still marred the floorboards, and you wondered if anyone had been in here since you left.

You had hardly surveilled the place before the door snapped open behind you.

“Fuck, you scared me!” It was your brother, shaking the dew from his trainers. “Why are you back? I thought you would be gone until next year, at least.” You sucked in the thick air, scanning the room for alibis. Stretching the last few moments before you had the acknowledge that you now walked the earth all by yourself.

“Oh, you know. Just felt homesick.”

Your brother respected your lie, letting it dissipate in the stale air like the smoke from a snuffed wick.

“I never liked him, anyway”

-

Your parents were happy, albeit a bit startled, to see you. They had converted your room to an office and all of your old things from high school, like notes from Van and old chemistry notebooks, were collecting dust in the attic. It was good to have the guest house to yourself, to be miserable in peace without the lingering tension of having to acknowledge the reason for your return, or to have anyone ask why you were throwing up so much and sleeping for 14 hours at a time.

Your dreams were so deep and lifelike that you had trouble discerning reality from fiction in your own memory; your nightmares even worse. Once you dreamt that Van had come into the guest house bedroom with a cup of tea asking how you’d slept, how his baby was doing. When your eyes had burst open, you were cold and alone. Anguish gripped your stomach, forcing it’s contents up your throat then down onto the floor.

Other times the dreams were of him fucking you.  Most nights it was just replays of your breakup, repeating every time you fell back asleep after being jerked awake from the sheer horror of that moment, worse than any organic monster ridden nightmare you had ever had. Each iteration more fresh than the last, as if someone was rewinding it over and over again on a cassette tape, starting at a high pitched blur then ending only when you could feel his hot breath ghost across your face.

Some days you woke up so paralyzed by your grief you wondered if you were in hell. Each moment was unbearably painful and eternal, the mere act of breathing felt sisyphean. But in hell, there was relief in the utter helplessness. Here, your actions had both consequences for yourself, and others. You weren’t sure which was worse.

-

The clinic was on the outskirts of town, far enough away you weren’t likely to run into anyone unless they were there for the same reason. The ultrasound tech didn’t make eye contact a single time, snapping her gum as she dispensed the chilly ultrasound gel in a single deft shake.

Your chest tightened when you heard the heartbeat for the first time, eyes prickling with tears. The rhythmic thump, thump, thump ticking through the monitor flooded your heart with a profound sense of relief.

Finally, something that was yours.

-

Tour stretched on, every night sold out. Press junkets, radio shows, interviews, and photoshoots were plastered all over social media, news papers, television, even the bus station adverts and shop bathroom posters. You quickly learned not to check your phone outside of calls and avoided the media. It was easy when you hardly had the energy to lift your head in the first place. Isolation was easier than breathing, and a lot less painful.

You had learned the hard way when you had tried reading the paper each day. You could leaf through mindlessly, until page 6 which always featured a half page spread of Van and a nameless girl, all uniquely the same. They always took similar form, as if made in a factory by formula: tight jeans and low cut blouses, cakefaced and bottle blonde; each one skinner, prettier, and younger than the last. Some looked like they had school the next day. You stopped reading the paper.

-

When you told your family you were pregnant, your mother cried--whether out of shock or happiness, you weren’t sure. Your brother punched a hole in the wall, then went outside to smoke. Your father just sighed--a long, deep sigh that validated his disappointment in your circumstances and choices.  His reaction was the most heartbreaking.

Unlike your mother’s reaction, you knew unequivocally that his was one of disappointment.  You were supposed to go to uni, maybe Oxbridge or a fancy American school or even elsewhere in Europe where you could learn a new language and lounge on picnic blankets in the sun with a bottle of wine and fancy cheese while mulling over your Literature seminar readings. You were supposed to be interesting and clever and successful and far away from here. Instead you were back where you had started, some wash up’s discards, nothing to show for it except a new dependent on your taxes.

Your brother followed you back to the guest house, determined to argue as ever. He was a man of few words until he was upset, and then every word cut like broken glass.

“Are you sure you want to keep it? It isn’t too late for you to finish up and go to uni.”

You had almost forgotten that you basically dropped out to follow Van on tour.

You had told your family that it would just be a couple stops, then you never came home. Until now.

-

One day your mother phoned in a rage after receiving a letter from the school that you had been expelled on the grounds of truancy. You remembered you told her you were turning in your work remotely—an obvious, bold faced lie.

Your relationship with Van had changed you from a studious rule follower to a fool, lucky in love, dropping out of high school to accompany someone else building their dream. Loving Van was like climbing a tree, higher and higher with no thought of how you would get down. But now you were flat on your ass, with another between your legs.

Your personality change had sparked concern in your friends in family, allegeding that you were “not that type of girl” to abandon everything for a man.

“I’m not really sure what type of girl I am,” was your only response.

After all,how could you know who you were meant to be when you were so young? Being with Van, being Van’s, was fun and exciting in a way you had never experienced. You’d never really dated, and didn’t have a lot of friends outside your brother’s friends, which was how you met Van. He was always nearby, goofing around and causing trouble.

Your earliest memories of Van were of riding bikes through town, collapsing in the cool grass when your legs turned to jelly and you could hardly peddle anymore. Van would blow dandelion seeds in your face while you giggled and rolled away from him. All of the hours spent under the gushing lemony sunshine ended in grass stained knees and freckled cheeks that lingered long after the popsicle drippings had been washed from your fingers.

That was the beginning--the familiarity; the quintessential bedrock of love that matures as you do, which each outgrown shoe and lost tooth. The type of childlike innocence entwined with companionship that warms your stomach just to think of, having had such a pure memory to call your own; an endless syrupy summer’s day that no one can take away from you.

-

As you grew and changed from girls and boys to women and men, your love morphed right along with it. There were many long stretches of time you hadn’t seen him at all, either from busyness with school or a row with your brother. But whenever you saw him again, that warmth returned right back to you, starting in your stomach and burning up to your sternum, bright and effervescent.

Your relationship mutated from platonic to romantic one night at a house party. Alcohol was still a novelty to you and two bottles of beer was your limit. You and Van were sitting together on a couch, the dim room filled with your other friends, illuminated only by fairy lights and the occasional flicker of a lighter. Van was telling ridiculous stories all while gesticulating wildly, each one making you laugh harder than the last. The combination of the alcohol and throwing your head back with laughter so many times had made you feel like you were on a rollercoaster, vertiginous and bubbly.

As if you hadn’t had enough, you got up to get another drink and fell back down onto the couch--except you missed your original spot by several inches and landed squarely on Van’s lap. You laughed out loud at your clumsiness. If you were sober you would have been so embarrassed! But your lowered inhibitions helped you see the humor in the situation. The room was aglow and the world was still big; the energy of youth electrifying the room.

Van instinctively placed a hand on the small of your back to steady you, and quickly jerked it up towards your shoulders as to not make you feel uncomfortable. A twinge of excitement seared in your stomach. You had never really touched before, and this felt nice in the most unexpected of ways--as if you had found something you didn’t know you were looking for.

You studied Van’s face, having never been so close to it. The perfect slope of his nose, the confetti of reddish freckles across high cheekbones, the pink pillowy lips that outfitted his wide mouth.

He must have been staring at your lips, too, because they clashed together as if drawn by magnet. There was no saying who kissed who as your heads met, puckering together needily. You wrapped your hand arms around him, leaning into his warm body so that your heads were resting on the couch, lips married together. His mouth tasted sweet like fairy floss, the room spinning like a carousel. You weren’t sure how long you made out for, but it felt like you were alone in the room full of people, coiled in the sweetest embrace that made time stand still. When you finally came up for air Van was grinning like he knew something you didn’t, gingerly tucking your hair behind your ear.

“I hope your brother didn’t see that,” he joked, making you blush.

You didn’t remember much of how the rest of the night went or how you ended up in your own bed the next morning, but the mere thought of having kissed Van so publicly both thrilled and mortified you. Surely people would talk--or were they all too drunk to notice? Did this mean he fancied you, or was it alcohol fueled happenstance?

At school the next week you heard his voice echoing in the halls, and turned to see him hanging on another girl while fraternizing with a group students the same year as Van and your brother. He tickled and teased her before hugging her from behind, then kissing her cheek with fervor. White hot shame flared inside you, ruddying your cheeks. You hurried home in a daze, scolding yourself for being so naive. He was a flirt and you were a fucking idiot for allowing yourself to be involved with someone like that--your brother’s friend, no less.

But the next weekend the same booze soaked gathering reoccurred, this time with more warm bodies packed into a smaller room. You sipped from a can while exchanging small talk with a girl from your chemistry class, wondering if you should leave or have another drink. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Van had arrived with the same girl from earlier, making a scene as he greeted his friends.

You decided to have another drink.

Cracking open a fresh can, you turned away hoping Van wouldn’t notice you. You smiled and nodded while your classmate blathered on, not registering a single word she said, unable to concentrate on anything other the imaginary tension in your head. The slick condensation beading on the aluminum can was your only anchor to reality as your body flushed from the discomfiture as much as the humidity. Though you hated to admit it, you wanted to be the girl next to him. Instead you slurped more beer, hoping to reach a level of inebriation where someone else started looking better.

Eventually the heat of the room became too suffocating to bear, and you excused yourself for a smoke. The noise of the party was barely a low thrum from the cement patio, despite being eight feet away. You sat on the very edge of the pavement, stretching your legs out into the dewy grass. The damp chill grounded you, your heart rate descending as you exhaled into the ether. The stars scrambled against the inky sky, floating in and out of focus as your nerves melted away with each crisp breeze. You were more drunk than you thought, but it felt nice out here where you weren’t being choked by calefaction and confronted with Van with the other girl.

The first drag of your cigarette was interrupted by a body shuffling next to yours, thumping down beside you on the cement.

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing out here by yourself?” It was Van.

You scanned over the back of your shoulder to see if the girl was around you. She was not.

“I’m alright,” you sighed, tapping the ash from your cigarette onto the curb.

Van wrapped his arms around his crossed legs, shaking his hair out. From under his fringe, his eyes searching your face for clues to decode your expression.

You exhaled the smoke so at least there would be something between you to shield you from his intent gaze. The chirp of crickets in the distance filled the silence. Snuffing the butt out on the cement, you got up to leave without a word. Van grabbed your hand, stopping you in your tracks.

His expression nearly broke you, wide eyes begging for an explanation, confused as it was hurt. Letting out a deep sigh, you weighed your options: stay with him and exchange meaningless platitudes or leave. Leaving seemed like the better choice.

“I’m going home.”

Van sprang up. “You shouldn’t go alone this time of night after drinking. I’ll walk you home.”

Secretly, you loved the initiative he was taking. He wasn’t asking, he was announcing. This type of attention and caretaking were foreign to you, even as the kid sister and tagalong. No one ever fussed over you. Even though Van was known for being sweet to everyone, you were pleased as punch he was fussing over you.

Dark was the night as you trudged home, guided only by the flaxen incandescence of streetlamps and drunken intuition. For a long time neither of you spoke, reveling in the quietude of the sleepy town in the dead of night.

Van broke the silence. “So how’ve you been?”

“Same as it ever was,” you sighed, still uncomfortable with the hidden motive of his small talk. “Is your girlfriend gonna be upset that you’re walking me home?” Van laughed to himself, even though it wasn’t a joke. “She’s not my girlfriend.”

Only partially did those words alleviate the tension that had been badgering you all night. The alcohol poisoning your bloodstream was making you bold.

“So you just kiss all your friends like that,” You kicked a bottle down the road. Van’s head jerked up, turning towards you.

“Let me kiss you not as a friend then.” You stopped dead in your tracks. Of course he could be bolder than you. For the second time that night, you looked into his eyes and saw he was serious. You could feel yourself freezing in place like a deer in the headlights, but your bodies were being pulled together as if magnetized. Van grabbed your face as your lips married; exchanging greedy, hungry kisses. His arm migrated around your lower back, pulling you into him, subsuming your bodies as one. You kissed as if you couldn’t breath without the other’s air, desperate and smacking.

Even when your lips finally parted, your figures remained cocooned together. Your noses brushed at the tip, studying each other’s faces. Never had you seen Van so still and ruminative before. He brushed his thumb across your cheek before imparting a final kiss.

“How’s that for not friends?”

-

Soon Van was coming to your house to see you more than your brother and their friends. He would meet you in the hallway to exchange forbidden kisses, risking demerits and suspensions. Now instead of lurking on the outskirts at parties you were right next to him, the center of attention, with his arm wrapped around you.

You could tell your brother wasn’t comfortable with your arrangement, but he never said anything discouraging. You had never smiled so much in your life, and people sometimes didn’t recognize you next to him. You drank more and wore less. School began to feel like a prison, entrapping you 8 hours a day when you’d rather spend time with your sweetheart. Even in subjects you loved, you couldn’t focus. You tried to study while the band practiced, but you’d always get distracted by how cute Van was and his never ending questions about their creative direction. You started helping manage their shows, calling venues and arranging transport and making sure every piece was in its place.

Soon you were helping out so much that you were hardly home and rarely saw your other friends. As the band became more successful, you would occasionally skip school to accompany them to far off gigs and events, reveling both in the rebelliousness of playing hooky and the sheer delight of watching your favorite person achieve their dreams.

-

One of your favorite teachers had warned you against following Van, confronting you during office hours when you had dropped in to ask about an assignment.  There was genuine concern in his expression, as if you were his own child that was making a stupid mistake.

“I shouldn’t be saying any of this, but you really should rethink your decision to leave. You could go to a great school and study whatever you wanted. You’re brilliant and clever and could charm the most stoic of souls. There are plenty of people in the world like Ryan, who will want to harness your energy to use for themselves. Don’t let them.”

You had thought he was just jealous, or perhaps had a tiny crush on you. You smiled at your past naivety. He was right. Your brother agreed.

“He picked you because you were hardworking and clever and too sweet to realize he was taking advantage of you! You were the best girl at that school and he fucking knew it. None of the girls like Alice or Nia would have lasted longer than a second with him! They would have crumbled from not being the center of attention, nor do they have a brain cell to show for it. He wanted someone to support him and do all of the hard work while he took credit for all of the glory. I mean, he didn’t even arrange you as a manager or assistant like Larry so you could get paid by the touring company!”

You hated when your brother was right, because it was a gut punch every time. He was a man of few words, but those choice words stung.  You had organized much of the band’s earlier endeavors, like communication with agents and venues and examining contracts for faulty clauses and loopholes. The band was hardworking and talented, but still too hungry for success to make good judgements on their offerings. Without you, they surely would have fallen prey to a lecherous label under a contract that would have destroyed them.

“I know it wasn’t malicious, because he can’t pull his head out of his ass to think about anyone else. He surely knows you could achieve more without him, the thought just never occurred to him because it’s his world and the rest of us just live in it. And now you’re having his child in the town he abandoned while he’s living out his rockstar fantasies. Did he ever even call you to make sure you made it home, and the plane didn’t fucking explode with his unborn child on it? Does he even fucking know your pregnant? Does he even care?”

You turned away so that your brother wouldn’t see the hot tears in springing from your eyes.

“You can go now,” you mewed, hoping he would take the hint.

“If he sets foot in this town again, I’m going to fucking kill him.”

It was a promise.

-