#fun fact: while on a date with someone i discovered we had both attended the same wtnv live show in 2015 lol

[beaft]

omg your post just reminded me of wtnv…i haven't listened to it since 2015? i think?? which is weird because i saw them live in 2014 but i can't remember why i stopped. anyways i've been looking for new podcasts to have on in the background for my new job, do you think it'd be worth just starting from the beginning? does it hold up/is it still good?

i haven't paid real attention to it in years, so i'm probably the wrong person to ask, but sometimes when i'm sad or stressed i'll pop on an episode and let it play in the background. it's like a surrealist version of the shipping forecast.

[true-blue-megamind]

FAN THEORY SUPPOSITION SUNDAY: The Warden

SPOILER WARNING!  It’s still a thing, and, if you haven’t yet, you still need to watch Megamind.  (If you have seen it already, however, you need to see it again.  Because it’s awesome.)

Yes, yes, the post is three days late this time.  Real life has to take priority and such. So sue me.  (Don’t really do that.  LOL!)

For that same reason—or more accurately because this week has exhausted me—I will attempt to make this post shorter than usual.  We’ll see how that goes.  My money is on “not well.”  LOL.

Anyway, today we’re going to look at a subject that often divides the Megamind fandom: the Warden and his relationship with Megamind. There are several fan theories—I mean, suppositions—surrounding this, but I’m going to be focusing on a few of the main ones.

The first of these is that the Warden was actually a father figure to Megamind when he was young, allowing him to be raised in jail not out of cruelty or disinterest, but because it was the only way to keep him safe from shadowy government agencies that otherwise would have performed all sorts of experiments on the blue alien.  This both accounts for why a child would be allowed to grow up in what is clearly a high-security prison for dangerous adult criminals—something that, admittedly, needs some sort of explanation—and fits with widely accepted sci-fi and comic book tropes. (From Area 51 to mysterious “Men in Black” type organizations, fiction is full of government agencies created to study extraterrestrial life and technology.)  Some even go so far as to suggest that the Warden may have tried to adopt Megamind officially, but was blocked from doing so by these same entities. On top of this, such an idea also offers room to re-imagine the Warden as a much more interesting, complex, and sympathetic character.  Indeed, there has been some excellent fan fiction written about this pseudo-parental relationship.

Art: Fathers And Sons Day by tabbydragon

There is some evidence to support this.  The first is that, although the Warden behaves harshly toward Megamind in the “jail-break” scene near the beginning of the film, Megamind himself seems to be trying to engage in a playful exchange: pranking the older man, wishing him a good morning, and even teasing him.  While some say that this is simply Megamind’s personality as well as his determination to always appear indominable, others suggest that, perhaps, the blue man is trying to recapture a lost amiability between himself and the prison Warden.  It is possible that, when he was younger and less villainous, Megamind might have exchanged friendly jokes and greetings with the man in charge of the jail he called home.  It has even been suggested that the Warden is so hard on the blue man at the beginning of the film not because he hates Megamind, but because Megamind’s life choices have hurt and alienated his father figure. This idea finds some support in the facts that, when Megamind leaves jail to confront Titan, the Warden wished him good luck, and at the end of the movie, that same man seems genuinely happy as he watches the television broadcast of his one-time prisoner being named Defender of Metro City.  Finally, there is some evidence from the comics which, although not truly considered canon, as I’ve mentioned before, do offer some material for fan theories.  In the “episode” entitled Bad Minion! Bad! Megamind runs into the Warden in a bar, and the latter offers the former advice.  There is certainly a somewhat fatherly feel to the scene.

The second theory is exactly the opposite: that the Warden either did not care for or outright disliked the former supervillain.  Unfortunately, as fun as the Warden/Father Figure concept is, this second, darker idea has far stronger evidence to support it in the film itself.  (Try not to hate me, everyone.)  These clues range from the obvious to the subtle, but there are quite a few of them to be found.

During the first scene in which we see Warden interact with Megamind, he doesn’t behave like an angry, disappointed father—at least not a good one.  He isn’t merely surly toward Megamind; he is absolutely nasty. The Warden verbally condemns the alien, telling him that he’ll “always be a villain,” and essentially steals what he believes is a gift for the blue man, even taunting him by saying: “I think I’ll keep it!”  This hardly seems like the actions of someone who once felt any sort of affection for the extraterrestrial.  That same portion of the movie holds another clue as well: the screens monitoring Megamind’s brain activity.  Indeed, in original concept art for the film, the system appears both more invasive and more nightmarish.  It seems that, far from protecting Megamind, the Warden may have actually allowed him to be experimented upon.

Next, there is the newspaper article at the beginning of the title sequence, which bears the headline “Hometown Boy Makes Bad.” It’s hard to see what the paper says, of course, even if you bother to really notice it, but luckily for us Liz (Demishock) wrote a wonderfully thorough blog post which, among other things, provides a transcript of the “news story.”  In it, the Warden is quoted as referring to young Megamind as a born villain as well as abnormal.  

You don't know this kid. I've watched the little criminal since he was in diapers. This kid is just a bad seed. I've got experienced, hardened criminals in here who are afraid of him - I mean, have you seen the size of his head?…  It's not like he's a normal kid… I mean, have you gotten a good look at his gigantic blue head? I don't know where you come from, but where I come it's just not right.

Granted, there seems to be some truth to what the Warden is saying, as the article also mentions that Megamind, who can hardly have been more than seven years old at the time, has basically been put into solitary confinement for the safety of other prisoners following an unnamed incident, adding that the other inmates “refused to point fingers for fear of retaliation.”  (This fits with the fan theory that young Megamind would have had to both fight and develop a fearsome reputation in order to protect himself. You can read more about that in the post How Strong is Megamind?) However, the Warden seems to dwell a lot on the fact that Megamind looks alien, and he displays an obvious dislike for the young boy.

Finally, there is evidence hidden in the school scene, although it’s easy to miss. In an amazing two-part video series, Megamind: A City of Deception. YouTuber The Theorizer illustrates several hidden clues about Megamind’s early life and how it it led him to embrace villainy.  (I will very likely write another post going into more detail about that at a later date.)  One thing that The Theorizer discovered is a seemingly innocuous detail in the background during the popcorn scene.  Take a moment to examine the images below.  Look closely at the blackboard and you’ll see a paper cut out of a school bus.  Look even more closely at that and you’ll find something odd: the bus is full of crayon-drawn children except for one figure: an adult male, riding in the back of the bus, who looks suspiciously like the Warden as he appears at the beginning of the film. 

In a movie where so much attention is given to small things—I mean, seriously, the animation team actually went through the trouble to write a news story for a paper that was on the screen less than ten seconds—this cannot possibly be a coincidence.  (You can learn more about the artists’ amazing dedication to detail in my post What’s Hidden in the Animation?)  Although it is vaguely possible that Megamind, painfully aware of how much his appearance was despised, chose to draw the Warden’s face instead of his own, most fans believe there is a darker reason for this oddity.  

Think about it: the Li’l Gifted School for Li’l Gifted Kids is built close by a jail with a strangely similar name: Metro City Prison for the Criminally Gifted.   It’s clearly a small academy, yet the only two known aliens in the city—who, by the way, have extremely different social backgrounds—both just happen to attend there.  And now the prison warden appears to be somehow involved with the elementary school?  It’s bizarre.  Add to this the fact that the young alien adopted by a privileged family—a boy who possessed super-strength and laser vision—seemed inclined to be a bully, (as is made obvious by the kickball scene,) and a disturbing fan theory emerges.  Adults realized that Wayne Smith, the child who would eventually become Metro Man, might prove dangerous if left unchecked, and came up with a plan to turn him into a hero instead.  Wayne was showered with praise, conditioning him to seek public approval, but a superhero needs a nemesis.  The strange-looking, unwanted blue boy who’d already been labeled a criminal would have seemed like the obvious choice.  If this is true, then Megamind was purposefully, albeit covertly, groomed to become a supervillain from a young age, and the Warden played a major role in doing that.

So there you have it.  Two competing fan theories concerning the Warden’s connection with Megamind.  Both have some evidence supporting them, and there are fans who are firmly dedicated to one or the other.  Which is true?  Did the Warden care for Megamind like a son but distance himself when the boy turned to villainy?  Or did he judge and despise Megamind but come around to liking him when he finally realized what sort of person the blue man was deep down?  The fact is that those questions can be argued for hours on end.  No matter which of these suppositions you prefer, however, the mere fact that even a minor supporting character is complex enough to offer room for this debate speaks to the impressive amount of work and devotion that went into creating this amazing animated film.

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

big brother to the rescue.

BEN MILLER

TRIPLE FRONTIER. ┃ USEFUL LINKS.

❝ request by @meteora-fc: hello hello! hope you're doing well :) i was thinking about a ben miller fic where when they're in the bar towards the beginning the reader is there with her friends and the boys push benny to talk to her bc he's getting distracted from conversation by her across the place. thanks a ton 💖

❝ words: about 1.6k.

❝ a / n: if you'd like to read a second part, lemme know! don’t forget to comment and reblog if you liked it, i’d really appreciate it!

“C’mon, little brother. She’s been looking at you the whole night”. Will says palming his back, after catching him distracted for the third time.

“Go, before I do”. Frankie challenges him with a petty smile, knowing it’s going to be enough to force the boxer to take the step.

Taking a deep, deep breath, finding in that gesture the encouragement he needs, Benny goes straight to you, waiting for the bartender to serve you another beer.

At first, you don’t notice his presence, until the unknown guy stops by your side leaning too over the bar. You two cross your gazes, sharing a soft smile that makes your knees tremble. The blonde looks really good, but for some reason, you have the feeling that he could be an idiot, so when he throws at you one of those horrible pickup lines, you can’t help but roll your eyes.

“I’m gonna give you advice. Don’t hit a girl like that”. You just reply with a chuckle, referring to his words.

“I’m more into hitting men”.

For a second, where you were about to leave with your drink, you squint at him having a sip and trying to understand the meaning of his affirmation.

“I box, professionally”.

“Oh…” You nod your chin, puckering your lips, showing him that this fact doesn’t impress him at all. “Congrats. Good luck in your next fight”.

Not giving him the chance to continue the talk, you come back to your table under the attentive looks of your friends, who are laughing at the poor guy and the gesture on his face. His brothers, on the other hand, have slapped their faces whilst shaking their heads disappointed. As soon as Benny joins him, Santi slaps the back of his neck, causing him to choke in his beer.

“There must be something wrong with my eyes, ’cause I can’t take them off you? Really, Benny? Really?”

The guys are laughing when Pope repeats his sentence, as Will puts an arm over his shoulders. “You’re lucky to have me… Big brother to the rescue”.

Anna nudges you, making you turn on your stool to watch a second guy walking towards you, very secure of himself. The only thing you wanted tonight was to have fun with your friends and seems it’s not going to be an option. Crossing a leg over the other and nailing an elbow on the table, resting your chin on your palm, you force a smirk when he offers you a kind smile.

“Good nights, ladies, sorry to interrupt. William, a pleasure”.

The man holds your free hand without asking for it to stretch it. Firmly. Like only a soldier would do —as your father does. He turns for a second to his friends, laying his oceanic and hypnotic eyes on you with a charming and funny grimace on his face.

“Sorry ‘bout my brother, you know... too many punches”. He has captivated your friends, who are gasping for him and the honeyed tone he’s using, covered by a raspy voice. “He has watched you looking at him and he was nervous, but he’s not a bad guy. Just a little asshole. But he’s worth it, believe me”.

“Okay”. You reply slowly, raising an eyebrow earning your attention little by little.

“He has begged me to not come, but I think you’re too smart to not have a date with him”.

“Your brother was right, you didn’t have to come. And you’re wrong, more or less. I’m very smart, but having a date with him doesn’t seem a very intelligent idea”.

“Got it. But he’ll be waiting for you at seven in Kaleo’s, tomorrow night”. A negative it’s not an option to the soldier, showing you his perfect white teeth in a huge smile clapping his hands before leaving. “Good night, ladies. Have a good time”.

Since last night, you've been debating with your friends if you should go to the date just to prove both men were wrong. Lucy would call you crying if you text her in case the guy is another idiot.

The first test is to see if he'd wait for you, arriving thirty minutes later than the hour William told you. Your heart can't help but race a little when you find the blonde boxer sitting on the hood of a black Mustang, in front of the restaurant. Wearing a white t-shirt and black jeans, he has both legs crossed and his hands laced over his lap. Head bowed down and a sigh escaping his lips as he checks the clock on his wrist. Poor guy, he's thinking you are not going to come.

You send a picture of him to the chat group where your friends are asking you if he's still there and, in less than a second, you receive a bunch of heart emojis from all of them. Keeping your phone in a pocket, as you tuck in your hands too, you begin to walk towards him. Step by step. Taking your time with a soft smirk curving your lips as you come closer and closer. Watching him texting someone too, you roll your eyes, imagining it's to some random chick to hang out with, due you have stood him up. Until you're almost leaning above his shoulder and you see he's texting his brother —who is very interested in knowing if you're there or not. You melt as he replies: “amma wait another thirty minutes, maybe there's traffic”.

“You can say to your brother I'm here”. You whisper into his ear, taking him by surprise and causing the boxer to jump off from the hood.

“Oh, fuck. You scared the shit outta m— Where you readin' my phone?”

“Nah, I've some witch in me”. You lie terrible, feeling goosebumps on your arms when his gesture changes suddenly.

A grin like a Cheshire cat decorates his face, offering you his phone as he pressed the small microphone in the bottom right corner.

“Hey, big brother, I came. I hope you weren't wrong”.

“I'm Ben, by the way”. He introduces himself as keeping his phone in a pocket, to offer you his right hand.

“(Y/N)”. You stretch it then, feeling a little nervous at his touch.

“So, this is the plan. We have a beer, and if you think I'm a freak, you can run away before dinner. No questions, no explanations. You just… leave”.

God, that's really sweet. He's nervous too and you can see in his blue eyes how scared he is if you really decide to disappear.

“Deal”. You accept, tilting your head to the restaurant.

A couple of minutes later Ben is sitting in front of you and the first thing that captivates your attention is the fact that he doesn't put his phone on the table. Living in the technology era, everybody keeps an eye on their devices. Constantly. But he's not like everybody. He wants to talk. Know about you. What you do in your free time, what you do for a living, what unveils you at night… And you talk for hours.

Ben tells you what pushed him to be in the army, why he decided to dedicate his life to boxing and he also jokes about how you could fix him up after his fighting. Something like a plan of the future. Together. As friends —as he points out to not make you feel uncomfortable, thinking that he is forcing you to have a relationship. You also discover that your taste in music and movies are very similar, just like your hobbies. And that makes you think about the fact that William will tell you “I wasn't wrong”.

The boxer gladly takes you home, not stopping your chat even when one of the two of you doesn't know what to say, Benny has shown you in some way he enjoys too much the sound of your voice though —how it goes a little higher when you're excited about something, how your throat vibrates when you laugh. And he's falling in love with the disgusted tic that wrinkles your nose when you don't like something, in a funny gesture.

You would die for staying together a little more, but you have obligations to attend tomorrow and your friends haven't ceased sending your texts asking you how it's going. As Ben stops his car next to your house, you sigh not knowing what to do —if just say bye, thank you, ask for his number, kiss him? Yes, you'd like to kiss him right now, but what does it say about you? Should you wait until the second date?

“Got a fight tomorrow night if you're free”. His proposition pushes you back to reality, turning at him on your seat while resting a shoulder against it. “You can invite your friends, mine will be there”.

“Your brother too?” You ask giggling, noticing the change on his grimace to somewhat underwhelmed because of your interest.

“Yeah, he will come”. Ben mumbles pressing his lips after nodding briefly.

“Ugh… Is he the kind of person who has fun saying I told you?”

Ben's gesture suddenly changes again. The shine in his blue deep eyes reappears and you provoke him a strong laugh when you furrow your nose like he literally adores.

“You've had a good night then?”

“Yes”. You don't hesitate to respond, leaning towards him to press your lips on his cheek with a loud kiss.

“See? He told you”. Ben can't help but make fun of you, earning a soft punch to his shoulder that makes him laugh one more time. “It's in the Holou gym, at seven”.

“Okay, I'll not forget it”. You reply, taking your phone and setting an alarm an hour before starting to have time to get ready. “Good night, Ben”.

“Good night, (Y/N)”.

GENERAL TAG LIST: @mayans-sauce @peoniarose @destynelseclipsa @band-psycho @myakai13 @petlaufeyson @-im-fantastic- @horsesandwolvesaremyanimals @rocketqueen @rosieposie0624 @ellyseveronica @jessprins13 @diaryofkali @ravenmoore14 @starrynite7114 @kenbechillin @miahelen @monkeyluver4546 @sheeshgivemeabreak @jadesamhart @rawrlittlepanda-95 @megapeacelovemusic-blog @katsav17 @skits90s @wildsould1221

TRIPLE FRONTIER: @phoenixhalliwell @goldielocks2004 @pedritomando @spideysimpossiblegirl @im-an-adult-ish @chibsytelford

[creativeashproductions]

What If...? I // Alive!Luke Patterson

Summary: The story of Sunset Curve if someone had been able to stop them from the fatal street dogs. A rock and roll family legacy, the reader meets Luke at a concert where he decides she is his endgame, this is a story of their life together.

Warning: Swearing, fluff, female!reader, do street dogs count now??

Words: 3.0k

Requested: By @beautifulblogsblog . The request was detailed so this request with be 5 parts and shorter since I have no clue where 3.0k came from?! Enjoy.

A/N: Interesting fact about the stand where the guys get the streets dogs is the name of shady business is a play on words. Say the name fast and you’ll catch on.

TO BE TAGGED SEND AN INBOX PLEASE!

Masterlist

Los Angeles, Early 1990s

Sunset Curve started as a fun little project for a group of four teenagers from all walks of life and different stories. It came about when a kind blonde boy was trying to find a socially acceptable way to hang out with someone he was currently seeing. It worked because Alex had learnt drumming as a way to work his frustrations out, he didn’t feel like he could punch someone, so boxing was a no go. Luke, the guy he was seeing, had received a guitar from his parents and self-taught himself how to play. The Patterson parents believed it would be a phase and he’d get serious about education.

The duo found out that an acquaintance had been having taken guitar lessons for several years, as a date Luke and Alex discovered him in the music room at school. Somehow another guy, Bobby, joined and then when the relationship between Alex and Luke mutually ended the band floundered. Alex, however, refused to let the breakup affect their friendships. Luke refused to give up the band. Sunset Curve was then forever changed to a permanent band.

In 1993 Luke attended one of his favourite local bands at a venue where he bumped into you. Chemistry and attraction instantaneous between you two, unlike anything before. IN that few second you both knew that you had see the other again.

“Hey! Sorry!” You called out over the loud music glancing over his shoulder at your friends grinning in response. After a bad breakup, Jay and Ro had been pushing you into failed blind dates.

“No worries!” Luke replied, “Gnarly song, hey?”

You nodded glancing at your friends once more, “I better get back to my friends.”

Luke frowned as you gave no indication you felt the spark, he did in the minute of interaction, but he hoped he could change your mind. The encounter settled in his mind as the concert finished, and the clock struck midnight.

Ro and Jay hounded you for leaving a gorgeous guy with the same music taste, but you just felt wrong to lead him on. Sure, you felt something for the guy but look how the previous relationship turned out.

“After James…”

“He’s an ass,” Ro spoke frowning at the tone you used for your ex. A two-year relationship with a guy you thought would be your forever love, “Girl, I would date you in a second! You’re a strong woman who doesn’t need a man. But that doesn’t mean having a little fun…”

“He’s gorgeous.” Jay supplied looking over at the boy whose attention was sucked back into the music by the band Weezer. The band is an inspiration for his music, “Look at his arms. Cut off muscle shirts were explicitly made for him.

“If I see him again. I’ll think about it.” You sighed chuckling as Jay made a face at the song being played. Jay didn’t like this kind of music, but she loved you too much to not be there when you were still hurting.

A few weeks later in a bookstore, you waited for your Aunt’s book club to end so you could help close the store and go home. The sound of a guitar brought your head over the couch to see that guy with a band from the concert; all of them playing instruments. Godlike he couldn’t get any more perfect, then he started singing. You were a goner.

“You should try the cheesecake bites.” You spoke coming up behind the guy at the snack table, “So you like Weezer, play guitar in a rock band and you sing?”

Luke was surprised at the sight of you, “Hey. I..uh…yeah. Always been a fan of rock.”

“I grew up on it. My parents met at a Rush concert, and a year later they were married.” You spoke leaning back against the wall, “Dad’s on the road right now.

Alex noticed Luke talking to a girl across the room as he packed up his kit, a pinch of sadness felt, but he pushed it away. They ended for a reason, and they just didn’t care about each other the same way. Alex was happy for his friend.

“Is he in a band?” Luke asked glancing at the band shirt you tied into a crop top and a pair of shorts. It was gorgeous but straightforward on you.

“Yeah. The tour bus was kind of my first home, I guess.” You chuckled looking at the guy, “Hey sorry for being standoffish at the concert. It was lame of me.”

Luke smiled, crossing his arms and smiling when he noticed your eyes wander to his arms before you met his gaze again. He usually wasn’t so confident, but God, there was something that drew him to you. He’d hoped he would bump into you again.

“It’s cool.” Luke shrugged, “If I say something really cool, could I get your number?”

You smiled, grabbing the sharpie in your back pocket before gently taking his arm. Scribbling the number on his arm to glanced up to his awed expression.

“Call me.” You replied before pushing off the wall to head to the where your Aunt was starting to close up, “I have a personal line.”

Luke beamed happily following Reggie out the door, a grin that didn’t leave his face. He called. After a date, he called nightly, and a relationship was born.

Your converse slapped on the sidewalk as you sprinted to the band studio beyond excited to see Luke after two weeks of family time on the road. You missed him. He was coming out of the studio they rented when he glanced up. He stumbled back when you slammed into him full force.

 “Whoa!” Luke yelped as he caught his balance and squeezed you close to him, breathing in the scent that was just you, “I missed you so much.”

“Me too.” You breathed hurriedly kissing him in response, “I just got back, and I had to see you.”

The entire world fades away as you guys kissed as if you hadn’t seen each other in months rather than a few weeks. His one hand moving to cup the back of your neck and the other squeezing your hip. Yours wrapped around his neck.

Your heads tilting to deepen the kiss when a voice interrupted you.

“Gag me with a spoon.” Bobby spoke, walking by with a grimace, “Nice that your back so Luke will stop moping but too bad since I’ll have to see that.”

“Oh, shut up, man.” Luke shoved him playfully before he picked up his abandoned guitar case and held your hand tighter, “You’ll understand when you find someone.”

Reggie and Alex waved as they continued on, Reggie would have to endure a tense supper with his parents, and Alex had family plans as well. Luke, however, was bringing you home to see his parents; out of his life choices, Emily and Mitch adored you.

“Come on.” Luke smiled, kissing your cheek as he tugged you to the sidewalk refusing you let you go on the walk to his place. Luke listened as you told stories from your time with your parents; he had allowed to meet them. Every time, however, last-minute details kept Luke from meeting your father.

“So, I have some news…” You playfully said coming to a stop at the front door of his house with a grin. Luke’s little grin appeared at how happy you looked and the sunburn on the tip of your nose.

“Yeah?”

“You know Poison Monarchy, right? The club.” You questioned moving to lean against the brickwork, you were expected to see his reaction. Luke’s eyes brightened at the mention of a famous club that jumpstarted a few bands.

“Of course! The guys and I snuck in to see this radical band. We got kicked out, but man it was such a cool night.” Luke grinned slipping into the memory of being where local bands got big, and most went on to place The Orpheum.

“Well-“

“Luke.” Luke’s dad Mitch spoke from the open doorway with a look of displeasure at the guitar case resting at the teen’s feet.

Luke automatically straightened his posture at the sight of his stern father waiting in the entrance. His hand keeping yours when it started to slip out.

“Dinner is getting cold,” Mitch spoke, turning his attention to you. His stern expression breaking into a genuine smile, “Y/N, it’s nice to have you over.”

Luke was led into his own house by you as you enthralled Mitch in a story about something you saw on the road. His Mom was putting the last dish on the table when the kitchen livened up with the new additions. Emily was quick to tug you into a huge before everyone washed up.

Luke was kind to walk you home after dinner with his parents where he could breathe again from the expectations in his home. His arm slung around your shoulder, humming a new melody that had been in the back of his mind.

“So, I hope you guys are free Friday.” You spoke nestling further into his side content in his jacket he had draped over your shoulders.

“Why?” Luke questioned, tilting his head to kiss your temple. His fringe tickling your forehead as he did so.

“The regular band isn’t able to play, and they were looking for a replacement. My Aunt-“

“-who owns the book store you finally talked to me at-“

You chucked at Luke’s words, “Anyways, her brother-in-law went to high school with the owner, and I may have dropped your band, and well you have a gig.”

“I love you,” Luke exclaimed stumbling back at his words. Your eyes widened in response, “Oh god. That is not how I wanted to tell-“

“You love me?” You shyly spoke, staring at the boy that held your heart in his hands ever since the first real conversation. Luke’s face turned bright red as he stuttered out mindless words. Something in your eyes changed that, and the confidence returned with a shade of shy.

“Yeah. I do. I have for a while, but I know how that loser broke your heart, and I didn’t want to rush you.” Luke spoke cupping your cheek in his hand, “But I really love you. Like, not some puppy love either. I see two things in the future. Sunset Curve and you.”

“Luke-”

“And I know it’s only been a year, and we’re barely seventeen, but I’ve only been sure about two things in my life. You don’t have to-“

“Luke! I love you too.” You laughed, reaching up to kiss him with all the love you could pour into it. Love you loved him, and God help him, he adored you, “Well Rockstar, better plan your setlist.”

You breathed cradling his hands still cupped on your cheeks each bearing a grin of pure happiness because this was a perfect moment; just Luke and you in love. That was all that was needed.

Two years flew by for Sunset Curve and your relationship with Luke did as well and with every relationship came ups and downs. After a nasty fight, you came to a compromise to never go to bed angry, Luke had spent the entire night on your porch. He got sick, and you made up. After performing at Poison Monarchy, the first time they had monthly gigs there, they would busk on the street for extra cash. Luke bought you a promise ring with his busking savings just before the big blowout with his parents on Christmas.

“Luke?” You yawned opening the door to a sobbing teenager. You were quick to yank him in the house out of the cold.

Luke broke down that night after running out on his Mom for the usual argument he had based on his dreams. The next few months he would alternate staying at Reggie, Alex’s or your place if your parents were gone. The subject was too sensitive, so you ignored the elephant topic in the room instead of addressing it.

“Babe, we did it.” The glee in his voice was by far one of your favourite things to listen to. You were sitting on the bar with him leaning back between your legs. Both your eyes scanning the empty area of The Orpheum.

“You guys did it.” You breathed, “You pour yourself into this band. You guys finally get the accomplishment.”

The rest of the band had joined you guys in complete silence to take in the monumental moment in their lives. Something you didn’t want to tell the boys was that with a little nudging, your father had spread the word of an up and coming band. His words would be bringing people in the business tonight.

“So, I’m thinking we close with Now or Never.” Alex offered, “It’s our high-level energy song, and to close with it would be perfect.”

“Our third song could be ‘Home is Where My Horse Is’ and go int-“Reggie cut himself off when the band gave him the usual look, “Oh come on! We need to give a little taste for when we dropped a country album.”

“I-“ Luke shook his head disregarding the same thing that happened at every gig they had done, “We’ll start practising. See you in a bit.”

Luke swiftly kiss you before shoving around with the boys to the door backstage glancing over with a heart-stopping smile. You watched intently as they began their soundcheck for the gig buzzed on the excitement.

“They’re good.” A beautiful girl spoke wiping down the counter beside you—her brown eyes watching the band perform.

“They are. I’m Y/N.” You grinned as she introduced herself as Rose, “The two on the ends are single.”

Her chuckle spoke for itself as she moved away to put glasses away behind the bar, her tight curls bouncing as she walked. You see Bobby and Reggie had their eyes pinned on her while Luke’s head was in the clouds or his eyes meeting yours.

“So, the restaurant is ready when they are.” The gritty voice spoke from behind you. Standing in the flesh was your father who you immediately jumped at.

“Dad!” You exclaimed happily that he had finally been able to come to see the guys play. It was always a wrong time when he was supposed to meet the band.

It’s what happens when he happens your father happens to be in one of the biggest rock bands around. Little people knew who your father was, even Luke just knew he was in a band and called him by his last name out of respect. He had never met him face to face, however.

“So, the frontman is Luke?” Lancaster, Lance for short, questioned his daughter leaning beside her, “Remember when your type was a football player?”

You snorted at his words since he had never liked your ex-boyfriend James. Lance had heard stories from your mother and you about Luke. Lance so far liked the teenage boy. He trusted you wholeheartedly to make responsible decisions.

“Oh, shut up.” You spoke, pushing his shoulder, “How was London?”

“Same as usual. Met up with the guys.” The sombre tone was enough for you to know he had been celebrating a close friend. Even with Freddie’s illness, your father hadn’t been able to leave his side and even four years after the death of Freddie Mercury, it still cut Lance up.

“I’m happy you’re home.” You spoke smirking when the band finished their soundcheck heading to the waitress immediately after. Bobby, no doubt flirting while the other searched for you, “Man, this is gonna be good.”

You raised your hand to your boyfriend, who quickly made his way over with a huge grin and heavy breathing.

“Man that was as exhilarating as our-“

“Luke!” You nervously chuckled quickly kissing him before he could embarrass himself in front of your father. Luke frowned at your tone before he glanced over to the side. Alex and Reggie making their way over, “Guys, things aligned perfectly. I want you to meet my father.”

Luke’s eyes widened as it clicked that he had almost told his girlfriend’s father he was sleeping with her. His Adam’s apple gulped at the fear that flooded his veins. The father in question turned, and the band as a collective released the most hilarious gasp of shock.

“That’s-“

“Lance Y/L/N. By your expressions, I assume you know my stage name.”

“Lancaster Jameson.” Alex squealed having to grab Reggie’s arm to keep himself upright.

“Your father is Lancaster Jameson?!” Luke exclaimed, “You didn’t tell me you’re a literal rock legacy!”

You could hold back the laugh waiting to fall from your mouth at their reactions to your family history. The excitement was overpowering everything else.

“He just watched us perform.” Reggie breathed, hitting Alex in the chest, “My dream has been reached. My goal is finished.”

“While they calm down, I’ll see you later,” Dad spoke kissing the side of your head as he whistled his way to the entrance. The group was collapsing almost only regrouping to make fun of Bobby. You are tugged with them.

“Ok, well, I’m thinking we fuel up before the show. I’m thinking of street dogs.” Luke announced happily, whereas you made a disgusting face.

“No.” You shook your head at the suggestion. There was no way you were going to down a street dog before their gig.

“It would be fitting.”

“No. I have a feeling that street dog would have been your last. The place is called Sam N Ella’s guys, if you say it fast, it comes out salmonella.” You spoke glaring at Reggie went to say something, “No. We’ll head to have food with my folks and some of their friends.”

“Getting food with a rock legend? Heck, yes!” Alex spoke already heading for the door with Reggie right behind, “Street dogs are in the past!”

It was a beautiful night. Sunset Curve got a ton of offers, and many demos were taken from the group as well. They also didn’t die.

Tag List (PLEASE SEND AN INBOX TO BE ADDED!)

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[anya-grace]

Two beautiful people sent me an ask about my rivetra actors au, and boyyyy let me tell you, it was so fun making them again 😍 thank you to the pretty souls who asked this! 💘

The first actors au were from season 1 and 2, this one will focus on the filming of season 3 until the last season :) here you go!

more rivetra actors!au headcanon (some are nsfw-ish)

- Let me get straight to the point: lots of sex. Car sex. On-set sex. Dressing room sex. Name it.

- Both of them are aware that it was unprofessional, but there was a time when they did not see each other for more than a month because of their (especially Levi’s) busy and conflicting schedule, so when Petra surprised him on set, the frustration and longing just piled up and they had sex.

- Then it became a habit.

- And this habit, of course, didn’t go unnoticed by the other casts and even crews of the show. Armin heard them once, and the poor boy made a mental note to never ever come close to Levi’s room again.

- The older casts are fine with it since, you know, normal adult stuff. But for the love of the three Walls, can you lovebirds tone the moaning down? People are trying to get some sleep wtf.

- Levi’s make-up artist had to deal with the pain of covering his hickeys (courtesy of Ms. Petra Ral) every shoot. The ones on his neck, especially those near his adam’s apple were the most visible. And since Captain Levi rarely wore a cravat in season three, part one, it made the work harder for the make-up artist.

- As compensation, Petra always bought a special souvenir for Levi’s make-up artist whenever she flies overseas for her theater shows.

- For the premiere of season 3, Levi took Petra as his date on the red carpet. It was the first event they attended publicly as a couple.

- It was a big milestone for their relationship because they are both public figures. And we all know what happens when celebrities publicize their relationships, it is prone to issues and controversies.

- And you can very well guess that Levi Ackerman showing off his beautiful girlfriend to the press was big news. As big as the AoT premiere even.

- During the air of season three, Levi became more famous and he attracted many overseas fans as well as international actresses because of his brilliant scenes with Kenny.

- Although Petra is not the jealous type, she admitted that somehow it affected her when other international actresses expressed their admiration towards Levi. Some even said that Levi is their type and they are looking forward to working with him in the future.

- When Levi sensed this, he immediately headed to his IG and posted a picture of Petra with a very cheesy caption lmao. Forgive him, he's new to this kind of relationship.

- Did I mention he also posted a picture of them kissing in front of the Eiffel tower?

- Only a few know this, but the real Levi is one clingy boyfriend.

- He is very touchy when it comes to Petra. He just really loves holding her. Sometimes he just randomly hugs her, caresses her, nuzzles her. He just loves having skin-to-skin contact with her.

- His love language is actions and gestures.

- His favorite gesture to do to Petra is a back hug with his arms under her boobs. It was a soft gesture and it wasn't sexual in any way...until it did.

- More than half of their sex started with Levi touching Petra’s underboobs tbh.

- Sometimes Levi thinks that he's neglecting Petra and more than once he considered quitting the show business for her. But then he’ll see her smiling at him, and she tells him that she's very proud of what he’s doing and that she's happy that she gets to support him with doing the things he is really passionate about and just… all he could think of that time is that he wants to marry this amazing woman.

- He is also supportive of Petra’s theater actress career, of course. And he hates the fact that he needs to hide whenever he watches one of her shows since people eventually gather around him asking for an autograph and he feels that it’s rude for Petra. This is her moment and he doesn’t want to ruin it for her.

- Hence, his all-black and mysterious get-up whenever he watches her show.

- AoT season three was a huge success and plans for season four are already on the move. Casts were given a long break before the shooting began again and both Petra and Levi took this as a chance to bond together.

-Petra's favorite thing to do with Levi is playing with animals. She has a soft spot for animals, and she wanted for them to adopt a pet but she knew that the poor animal will only be given less attention because both of them are always busy.

-When Petra's theater world tour ended, she and Levi started living together. They didn't have the chance to do it before since they were both busy.

-Them living together is probably the height of their relationship. They fought, they had sex, they laughed, they played, they bathe together. They did everything together and it was a beautiful experience.

- For their third anniversary, Levi booked a vacation on a private island for a week. It was also their last bonding because Levi is going to start filming again for season four in less than a month.

- They did not communicate with anyone during that one week. It was just them, and they made the most of it.

- Mornings were spent for morning sex and breakfast in bed. Afternoons were for swimming, sleeping, cuddling, hugging, kissing, and every activity they could think of doing. They explored the island, they petted stray animals, they dived into the ocean, they build sandcastles, they ate different dishes, they had sex in caves and while swimming on the beach, they climbed trees, they bought souvenirs, and most importantly, they took many pictures together.

- Evenings were the most romantic of all. They had sex in the darkness of their own room while they hear the ocean waves crashed to the shore outside and as the sea breeze cooled their sweat-slicked skin. They took the time to explore each other’s body like it’s their last (because it will be in a matter of days).

- On their last night, Pet cried while they’re having sex. Levi’s face was buried on the crook of her neck and she was moaning one moment, and then the next she’s sobbing like a poor little baby.

- She said that she’d gotten used to life with Levi always by her side and she didn’t want it to ever change. Levi comforted her. He petted her hair, and he said that it’s going to be okay. He kissed her head, then her hair, her face, and her body. Then they had the most emotional and meaningful sex of their entire life.

- Levi started shooting again for season four. Petra, like the past seasons, visits him as much as she can. It was hard adjusting to this type of life again, but she’s a strong woman. And besides, she’s going to start rehearsing for another theater show again.

- They need to undergo medical check-ups before the casting and she found out then that she is pregnant with Levi’s baby.

- It freaked her out. She and Levi never talked about babies before since they’re busy with their careers, and their relationship has always been just the two of them.

- Levi was out of town for the shoot, and she didn’t want to tell him the good news on the phone so she patiently waited until he got home.

- He was greeted with a fancy dinner, and a “Welcome home, Daddy” by Petra. Levi thought that it was her being cheeky and naughty at first, but when dinner ended and she ran for her life to the sink, that’s when he started getting worried. And when Petra showed him the positive result in her medical check-up, well, let’s just say that on that day, Levi Ackerman received a good reminder of what he did to her on their vacation months ago.

- But seriously, he was seconds away from calling his manager and dropping his AoT contract just so he can take care of Petra and their baby. Petra said that it was fine, and she doesn’t want him to quit.

- Levi apologized to Petra many times because he wasn’t there when she discovered it, but she assured him that it was alright and it wasn’t his fault. God, he’s with the perfect woman.

- Since Levi is a big shot in the industry, he demanded control over his schedules. Honestly, he wanted to be at her side 24/7. He wanted to see her belly swell as months went by. He wanted to be the one to satisfy her midnight pregnancy cravings. He wanted to kiss her face and her belly first thing in the morning.

- He convinced Petra to move temporarily to the Ackerman family house where Levi’s parents are staying. Kenny and Mikasa also lived in the same affluent neighborhood. He had doctors, and helpers, and bodyguards hired for Petra. But she said that she’s too uncomfortable with many people around her.

- Petra and Levi’s mom build a bond of their own. She’d gotten to know more of Levi through his mother’s perspective. The older woman showed her Levi’s teenage room, his past awards, his photos, his audition tapes that weren’t out for the public, and she fell in love with him more.

- They had a super private wedding with their relatives and closest friends. Petra was six months pregnant by that time and season four is planned to air three months from now.

- So, you know about that one holy Rivetra panel where Petra is looking back to Levi? The reason why the scene was not in the actual show was that she is pregnant. That’s why the directors are forced to use old scenes from season one instead.

- Despite all the efforts of being private, paparazzi and the media still caught wind of the secret wedding, and rumors about Petra being pregnant started circulating over the internet. Levi shut down these rumors every time someone attempted to question him in his interviews.

- When the shooting ended, Petra was already eight months into pregnancy. As per tradition, the cast and staff held an after-party, but Petra was surprised when it became a baby shower for her instead.

- The baby was supposedly due in the third week of December, but Petra’s water broke around the first week instead and she started her labor. She ended up having the same birthday as their healthy baby boy.

- The baby was named River Ackerman. He was named after Levi’s role where he won the Best Actor Award when he was seventeen. It was also a tribute to Levi’s role in AoT since his name was sometimes spelled as ‘Rivaille’ on many occasions.

[bbugyu]

how jeonghan knew

a journey with yoon jeonghan, lee seokmin, and you.

there was always something about his infectious laugh and his genuine nature that felt like fate to jeonghan, and maybe you were the muse that kept their red thread in tact.

prelude | part one | part two | part three | epilogue

wc.10662 (LMFAO) | fluff, smut, courtship, angsty in the beginning, polyamory, sugar daddy!jeonghan musician!seokmin escort!reader, hi cheol, hi gyu (again), hi boo, hi wonu, gay pining, jk he's pan probably, discovering sexuality, daddy kink, special guest seokmin!!!!!, threesome, lots of mlm, oral, cumpla, handjobs, choking, butt plugs, male penetration, there's a full on reader-less memberxmember sex scene idk, unprotected sex, please use condoms, jeonghan gets overwhelmed, the TEASING, jeonghan being a home improvement freak, don’t mind han jisung he’s just vibing, required listening is positions (2020) by ariana grande because it’s a perfect album

and here we have poly seokhan: the gayening!!! this is going to be the end of my scheduled updates for neverending artistry, but i’ll be posting an epilogue when i finish it - probably after i post a couple of other fics. this chapter.... is my fave......... i think u will see why lol. i went ahead and got a lil carried away with the house stuff but LISTENNNN i watch a lot of architecture videos ok LFJDSJ

thank you all so much for your continued support and incredible feedback on this series! it seriously means so much to me and i love seeing asks and messages from everyone telling me how excited they are to read more. i hope this satisfies you!!!

~

jeonghan is pretty sure he always loved seokmin. it wasn't something he would ever be able to change about himself, he figured, as he watched his friend date woman after woman in college with varying seriousness. he decidedly ignored any amount of feelings he harbored for the younger, especially after he dropped architecture as his major and he saw less of him. 

jeonghan tried to get over the destined musician (he would always be singing or fiddling with his guitar when he was meant to be helping jeonghan with a diorama) with several women, and after decisively focusing on his career for a couple years, he found success in another man. his short lived gym buddy, but lasted quite a bit longer as his boyfriend. they had connected first when jeonghan had offhandedly commented that he liked the logo on his shirt, to which the long lashed, broad shouldered man had said he had gotten it at the brand's store down the street, making jeonghan chew his cheek before he admitted that he had helped design that location. they connected the second time later that night, clumsily but intensely, and jeonghan liked his plush pouty lips and how his messy black hair felt between his fingers.

while that didn't last forever, he found varied success in other men, and he figured this was why dating women had always been so difficult for him. definitely not that he had been given small choice amongst the rotten apples that attended his college.

he was single again, and at an industry party when he reconnected with an old friend from college who happily reminisced about the fun their small group of friends had back then. he asked if jeonghan remembered seokmin, the guy that dropped the program.

"lee seokmin?" he asked, his brows knitting as he tried to react normally to the name, and mingyu hit his shoulder, laughing.

"yeah! guess what? that son of a bitch is teaching my niece piano!"

jeonghan smiled at the idea of seokmin as a piano teacher, nodding along as mingyu talked about how he had volunteered to take her to her lesson one week, only to be put face to face with a long lost friend. jeonghan laughed as mingyu imitated the face the other had made, laughing harder when he recognized it and remembered seeing it on seokmin's face in the past, then telling mingyu about how he had once pranked him by making the poor guy think that he was going to fail a project because seokmin had accidentally destroyed a diorama. it had already been graded, and he was going to take it apart to save on materials anyways, but the younger nearly cried when he thought he had wasted hours of jeonghan's time and cost him the grade by accidentally kicking it off his desk.

he asked how seokmin was doing these days, and mingyu told him he seemed well, and that he takes his niece to her lessons as often as he can spare, just to chat for a while. "i could give you his number," he said, feeling his pockets for his phone. "i'm sure he'd love to hear from you."

mingyu had been right. seokmin did love hearing from him. and he loved the way seokmin made him laugh with his ever joking tone and physical comedy antics. the way his eyebrows creased as he tried to keep a stern face but was unable to hide the smile across his lips. the way he always fought with him for the check despite jeonghan being older and notably better off.

he didn't love, however, how seokmin nodded his head after the waitress and asked him if he thought he had a shot.

maybe he was desperate, or maybe he wanted an excuse to not date seriously, or maybe he just wasn't ready to let go, but jeonghan continued to invite seokmin out, despite the fact that their relationship would never develop past friends who met in college. he enjoyed his company anyways, even if it felt bittersweet.

he poured himself into his work for several months, taking more contracts than usual and keeping himself occupied, only really seeing others for meetings and constructions, or when he was depressed on a friday night and caved, asking seokmin to join him for drinks somewhere. he continued this cycle for too long, his personal assistant noticing his mood changes before most.

"are you taking your vitamins?"

"yes, seungkwan, i'm taking my vitamins," jeonghan bit back, fully aware that he wasn't asking about vitamins at all, but about his state. confirming he was still making an effort to take care of himself rather than spiraling, sat in his living room on a tuesday after being told by a doctor to rest, for god's sake as a solution to him nearly collapsing several hours earlier. seungkwan shifted on his feet, tongue running over his teeth as he stared at the architect, hands folded in front of him.

"you need to stop seeing him. it only hurts you."

jeonghan sighed, staring at the black screen of his television. "i know."

his assistant studied him. "you should come out with the team sometime," he said. "we get drinks on wednesdays, usually. come tomorrow, it could take your mind off things."

jeonghan looked up at seungkwan, who was clearly sucking on his cheek. he knew he was right. more importantly, seungkwan knew he knew, but jeonghan had a hard time wanting to take his mind off this one specific thing, considering the way this one specific thing laughed like a hyena, poured himself over a piano like an ocean wave, and sang along like an angel. his head fell back on the couch, and he had to take a long, conscious breath to lower the ringing in his ears at the silence. "i'll be there next time."

seungkwan exhaled in defeat, eyes flickering around as he excused himself and said goodnight, knowing his boss was lying.

jeonghan found you on accident - put in an uncomfortable corner by an ultimatum from his publicist and the circulating rumor that he sleeps with men because he can't keep a woman around that seemed to pile on top of everything else on his plate - and the second you opened your mouth, he knew you were special.

he remembered the profile he had seen from your broker, and knew you were attending university. he asked you your major, and when you told him you wanted to produce music for a living, something deep in him stirred. you had been sitting in his car for all of twenty minutes, and you nearly had him under your spell already.

he couldn't understand his fascination with you, but he continued to book you for dates, sometimes deciding what event he would be attending by asking what day you were available that week. he figured if he needed to prove to the world that he wasn't gay (which he was, he was pretty sure), you were the only one he was interested in doing it with.

maybe he had a thing for musicians.

he had taken out quite a few escorts before you, but none of them were nearly as fun. you always did an incredible job engaging in whatever event he brought you to, but also hit his chest as you tried to stifle a laugh at something he muttered into your ear, guiding you away. his friends liked you, too, the few he had. the ones that had met you. yongsun had even tugged him aside briefly, asking if he really liked you. you seemed nice, she had said. and good, in general, but also for him. she wanted to make sure he wasn't just leading you along to quiet some stupid rumor. he glanced at you, smiling wide as you excitedly discussed music with one of his other friends (the fifth and last person he liked at this event, the two of you included), and wasn't quite sure why he told her he actually liked you, but didn't feel the need to correct himself.

then you told him you were quitting, and he realized what he would be losing. then you kissed him, and he realized what he had been feeling. then you looked at him with wide eyes, just as shocked as he was by the explosion of fireworks you had both just experienced, and he realized what he had been missing out on all this time.

he figured he must have always loved you as his eyes scanned the hotel bar, confused at how you had managed to get away so quickly. he was running into the hall to see if you had escaped to the lobby when someone caught his arm.

"hey, you seen yongsun?"

jeonghan blinked at his blonde friend, recognizing her play. "have you seen y/n?"

"try the bathroom," she said, throwing a thumb over her shoulder in the direction she had come from.

he looked down the hall at the restroom signs, nodding. "i saw her at the chocolate fountain a minute ago."

byulyi patted his shoulder as she walked past him. "good luck, yoon."

it felt good telling you the truth, while sitting in your well organized and tastefully decorated studio apartment that you had insisted he would hate, even if he was too scared to admit all of it. why he had needed you before, but wanted you now. his heart nearly beat out of his chest when you agreed to his conditions, though he recognized that he had given you just about every advantage in the deal. it would have been near impossible for you to say no, especially after the way you had kissed him before someone had finally tried to enter the bathroom you were hiding in.

for a while, he only kissed you as a farewell, mostly because he enjoyed the old school romanticism of kissing a beautiful woman in the moonlight, her back against the passenger door of his black vehicle parked on the street outside her studio apartment. then, when he had invited you to his home after the two of you had ditched a boring dinner several hours early, you had curled up in his side to watch a movie. at some point, he caught you staring at him, and you put a hand on his cheek and kissed him sweetly. slowly. kissed him in a way that only made him crave more. you smiled, settling back into his side for the rest of the movie, and even though you had done it unconsciously, the back of your hand rested against his thigh in a way he had a hard time ignoring, and he decided he must have just had real shit taste in women before he had met you. 

the following sunday, when you mentioned how pitch black the sky seemed at that late hour, having gotten caught up binging some drama, he not-so-vaguely hinted that he'd be okay with you spending the night in his bed. you eyed him, and he shrugged playfully.

"or i have guest rooms. up to you."

"i have class tomorrow," you tested.

"i can take you," he responded. "if you want."

you paused, watching him as he recorked the wine bottle the two of you had opened earlier in the evening but only managed to have one glass of each before abandoning it to cuddle on the couch. he was always so thoughtful, even in his teasing. he cared about your comfort. he wanted to maintain your boundaries. but it had been a really long time since you had gotten laid, and everything in you yearned to say yes. jeonghan's voice in your head reminded you, no expectations. this could be whatever you wanted out of it.

so you went to bed with him.

jeonghan would swear up and down that you were the most beautiful woman in the world, and his beliefs were only confirmed when he pulled your shirt off of you, dragging your pants down your legs, and got a real look at you for the first time. you felt unexplainably embarrassed under his gaze, asking if he was okay.

"yeah," he said breathlessly, a hand running up your side, your back arching slightly to his touch. he curled over you before he whispered "god, yeah, i'm more than okay," against your lips.

not even ten minutes had passed before you told him you loved him between your panting, and he was so ecstatic when he could tell you, wholly and truthfully, that he loved you, too. and after your pulses had died down and you were falling asleep in his arms, he said that if you were staying under his roof, you were not allowed in any guest rooms. that if you needed space, he would find a different bed to sleep in, because this one looked best with you in it, and he refused to have it any other way.

jeonghan never got bored with you. over time, you began going to his place after events and dinners more than he dropped you off at your apartment, becoming an often enough occurrence that he had asked you one night to fill an online shopping cart with clothes for you to keep in his closet, so you could stop this silly packing bags nonsense. he had already bought you a full set of toiletries for his bathroom, started keeping your favorite snacks in the pantry, and even gone as far as to buy you the house slippers you had offhandedly said were cute when the two of you wandered aimlessly around a mall together. you were becoming a part of his home in more ways than one, and he was happy to have you.

he offered you an unused office on the second floor when you started studying for finals on the peninsula of his kitchen counter one monday afternoon, and you asked what was wrong with you doing it where you were.

"because you're not going to clean it up," he pointed out.

"maybe if we had a rewards system," you argued. "if i clean up, i get a prize."

he laughed, rounding the small jut of countertop, thinking about how he would probably need a proper kitchen island if you were going to be sticking around. "just because i give you an allowance, doesn't mean you're a child. you're not supposed to focus on the baby part of sugar baby."

you pouted as you turned on the stool to face him, a hand gently tugging his tie to pull him into you. "what if i focus on the daddy part of sugar daddy?"

a hunger dropped in jeonghan, gazing down at you as you sat at his kitchen counter, surrounded by textbooks and notes. your eyes sparkled under the lights, and his fingers went behind your neck before he kissed you, muttering against your lips to try calling him that again, angel.

the kitchen remodel had gone about as smoothly as it could have, given the fact that it was nearly impossible to transport such a large slab of granite for his dream island without it snapping in half from its own weight, but they managed, and when the light fixture finally turned on for the first time after the new cabinet doors had been installed, he felt justified in remodeling a kitchen that had hardly needed updating. he felt even more justified when he came downstairs to find you, having woken up in an empty bed, only to have you yell at him as you flipped pancakes on the griddle of his new gas range, saying you were going to bring him breakfast in bed and if he didn't cooperate, he wouldn't see you for a week. he laughed at your threatening spatula, putting his hands up in surrender, unable to stop smiling as he made his way back up the stairs.

you had enrolled in online courses for your last year of school, mostly so you didn't have to be anywhere specific for several hours every day, and instead could keep your schedule massively open to cater to jeonghan's needs. this also meant you usually attended your afternoon lectures at his home, waiting for him to get off work and distract you.

then the two of you started attended wednesday drinks with the team. seungkwan had thanked you, though you hadn't realized that you were deserving of a thanks.

"he'll tell you when he wants to, i guess," he said, twirling the beer in his hand. "but he wasn't in a great place before he met you."

you could hear the subject of your exchange laughing further down the bar, and you wondered what kind of place he meant, but tapped your glass against seungkwan's instead of asking the question. "to better places."

he chuckled, bringing the beer to his lips. "cheers to that."

jeonghan enjoyed having you on his lap on the couch, listening to whatever r&b record you had chosen as you worked your lips against his. he nudged several kisses down your neck, and you mentioned offhandedly that there was a perfect place in his living room for a bar, pointing at the wall behind him. he pulled away from you, turning his body with an arm over the back of the sofa, and his head cocked as he stared at the wall that only held a painting. he silently agreed with you, wondering why you seemed to inspire all his recent projects as you nipped at his neck, drawing his attention back to you with a smile on his face.

the bar was finished in time to hire a bartender for a halloween party. he hadn't told the guests that it was an anniversary party, but you had been made aware of the secret arrangement during a conversation the two of you had over a private meal in your favorite restaurant the week before. 

"a threesome," you asked, hoping for clarification. 

"with a guy, preferably," jeonghan said. "but i could be convinced to approve of a girl if that's what you would like."

"you're being serious?" you seemed to find yourself asking him that a lot. every time he suggested something that he knew you wanted, you wondered if he was pulling your leg. "and you want me to choose?"

"yeah, at the party," he said, watching you shake your head incredulously with a smile on his face. the two of you had discussed the possibility in the past, and he thought it made a fun gift. an unexpected one, from someone who had enough money to comfortably gift you just about anything. "i have to approve, obviously, but you get to pick the candidates."

you thought a moment. "what if we can't agree on anyone?"

"then i take you to bed alone and we have fun anyways." 

he laughed when you squinted at him.

"if the opportunity comes up down the line, we can try again later," he said. "but i thought this would give you something fun to do while i'm hosting guests."

and it had, as you sneakily scoped out the guests, flitting around the party of both familiar and unfamiliar faces in your angelic cheerleading costume. visiting and laughing heartily with the team, as well as your uni friends that jeonghan insisted you invite, offering them more drinks, then saying something about having to play hostess so you could continue your search. byulyi and yongsun were there, and you complimented their matching rapunzel and flynn get up, jeonghan catching you for just a second to ask if you needed anything.

you settled in on one target perhaps too quickly, without even really having made an effort to see all the options. you had been struck by the same sharp cheekbones, puppy dog eyes, and crooked smile that jeonghan had once fallen for. when he saw you tucked into lee seokmin's side, recognizing your flirting even from a distance and noticing how receptive the musician was to it, his heart fluttered, and he couldn't tell if it was a good or bad thing.

a good thing, he decided, when seokmin had asked him permission before he came in you. because, seemingly, sexuality was much more of a spectrum than jeonghan had once thought, and perhaps his college crush just needed the encouragement of an incredible woman to try something a little beyond his experience, much like he had.

and when you wouldn't stop mentioning the musician the two of you had enjoyed the company of while schmoozing guests at the opening of him and his friend's collaborative art exhibit, he got a slick idea. on the way home, he told you that you weren't allowed to make a noise until he hung up the phone, but you were already writhing in the passenger seat just as the phone rang.

and when he answered, you clamped a hand over your mouth, a bare foot landing on the dashboard as you tried to grind against jeonghan's hand, his voice steady as he talked to the younger.

and when he mentioned you, your walls pulsed around his fingers, a smile finding its way into his lips as he spoke. he tried not to take too much pleasure in the way you looked at him with begging eyes and your fist between your teeth, or in the way seokmin's tone dropped as he confirmed that he would get a cab, but he truly couldn't help himself when he made eye contact with seokmin as you sucked him off, his hips canting into yours recklessly, forcing seokmin to break the contact as he reacted to your moan on his cock. 

he noticed the way seokmin's hips began to move on their own, begging for enough control to chase his nearing high in your mouth but having it brought right to his doorstep instead. jeonghan felt your perfect heat cling to him in reaction, and before he could think to stop himself, he pulled you into his chest by your throat, not daring to let you claim it all as he lapped cum from your mouth. you whimpered against him, your orgasm lasting impossibly long as he fucked into you, getting milked by your needy walls.

when he caught seokmin staring directly at him, he grinned and wiped the back of his hand across his chin and lower lip, languidly licking any escaped cum off it, and asked if he wanted to try his, too.

seokmin agreed, nodding shakily before jeonghan massaged at your sides, pumping himself into you a few more times. he told you to give seokmin's mouth a ride. you groaned, his cum dripping down your thighs.

jeonghan watched the younger's cock twitch as you moaned over him, one hand on the wall and the other on his scalp, his fingers digging into your thighs. he stared at how it never lost hardness. he didn't even realize that his hands were on seokmin's hip and thigh before he even asked if he could touch him, but a large hand left your thigh to shakily bring jeonghan's to his thick cock, answering the question despite you occupying his mouth, his fingers lingering over jeonghan's as he pumped his length.

he couldn't deny that how badly he wanted to fuck seokmin, but he could settle for making him cum in his hands until he was ready for something more, especially with the surprising amount he had to give after already having cum once. he let himself indulge in a single lick across seokmin's sensitive slit - though it was hard to stop there - triggering a garbled moan before he left to shower.

a week or so later, jeonghan asked you if you were interested in dating seokmin. you put your phone down and rolled over in bed, propped up on your elbows as you asked him what he meant.

"i love you," jeonghan assured, pulling you to lay closer to him. "and i can tell you like him."

you studied his face. "but i'm with you."

"that doesn't have to stop," he said, smiling at you as he tucked a hand behind his head. you eyed his arm briefly, then refocused on him. "but you know how things get in the winter, and i would be okay with you trying things out with him while i'm busy."

"you're being serious?"

jeonghan laughed at the familiar question. "yes, y/n, i'm being serious. i know you want me, but i also know you want more than me."

you had never told anyone about your desire for multiple partners, not even admitted it out loud to yourself, so his candid assessment caught you off guard. "how did you-"

"just little things you've said," he teased, leaving you to question how much you had revealed about yourself without realizing. "besides, no one can deny the chemistry."

you paused. "boundaries?"

"just tell me," he said, putting his arms around you and tugging you into him. "i just want to know when you're seeing him. and, eventually, i would like to be invited every once in a while."

"invited to dates?" you asked, throwing a leg over his lap to straddle it as you laid over him. "or invited to bed?"

he smiled up at you, hands running over your rear. "either. both. whatever you two want."

you agreed, but only after you made him promise he would tell you if anything changed for him. that he had to tell you about every doubt and worry he had. "i'll always choose you," you stated plainly, lips brushing against his as he gently rolled his growing length up against your clothed heat. "no matter what, i'll choose you."

"i know, sweetheart," he said, a hand on your cheek as he kissed you. "i promise."

after he came back from a business trip in december, you admitted to him that you and seokmin had exchanged i love yous, and he just put an arm over your shoulder and turned down the volume on the tv, telling you that he was pretty sure he loved seokmin, too.

"it was him, wasn't it?" you asked, studying his profile. "he was the guy you couldn't get over?"

jeonghan rubbed his face with one hand, sighing. "yeah, it was him."

"why didn't you say anything?"

he thought a moment. "i didn't want you to feel obligated, i guess."

your fingers straightened the seams of his long sleeved shirt across his shoulder. "obligated to win him over for you?"

"obligated to love him, too."

"jokes on you," you giggled. "he's very easy to fall in love with."

jeonghan supposed that was true, thinking of how quickly he had fallen for him, even back before he had admitted he liked men. how he had fallen into the same spot even years later, just over a shared meal and a few bottles of soju.

but you were easy to fall in love with too, he thought, remembering how he hadn't even understood his feelings towards you until you had kissed him, but he had felt them strong enough to want you to stay by his side anyways. maybe jeonghan just fell easily, but maybe he was lucky enough to have found his people at such a young age.

you settled back into the crook of his arm and asked him what he thought about seokmin coming over to join you two for christmas. while much of the world celebrated with family, it was more of a hallmark holiday in korea, often times spent with a long time sweetheart or a budding romance. or both, in your case, jeonghan supposed, when you were distracted trying to find the third christmas music lp you had specifically gotten for the occasion (out of eight, of course, because you didn't want to run out of christmas music). he was leaning against the tasteful home bar that had been hardly touched since halloween when seokmin shyly admitted that he knew jeonghan was interested in him.

he said nothing for a moment. "she told you?"

"kind of, back when you were in japan, but-" seokmin paused. "i think she was just suspicious, but i should have known. you were always too kind to me."

"not too kind," jeonghan said, hiding behind his wine as he sipped at it, trying not to show his embarrassment.

"i think i'm interested, too."

he looked at seokmin, who was staring down at his hands. "are you sure?"

"i'm-" he paused, catching jeonghan's eyes for only a second before scratching the back of his neck. "i think so. i've never even thought about doing anything with - uh - men. until you."

"that's okay," jeonghan said, looking to where you were flipping through records. "i didn't like women until y/n."

seokmin faltered. "wait, really?"

he nodded, a small smile on his face. "i thought i was gay. turns out i'm not."

"but you-" the musician stretched his jaw. "weren't you kind of a player in college?"

he almost said something about how having sex to meet an end and keep an appearance was different than enjoying it, but stopped himself when you announced that you had found the lost record, switching the lps with a flourish and setting the player again. and while he was curious about the level of seokmin's interest in him, he was happy to leave the conversation where it stood when you excitedly rejoined them at the bar.

"do you think i could be a bartender?" you asked, leaning over the counter and grabbing an unused shaker.

"probably," seokmin said.

"for sure no," jeonghan laughed.

you pouted at the latter, holding the shaker between your hands as you directed your attention to the former. "thank you, seokmin. i appreciate you encouraging my dreams."

"any time," he joked.

jeonghan rolled his eyes. "what about that music degree i'm paying for?" he asked, taking another sip.

"just because you've known what you wanted to do forever, doesn't mean everyone does. maybe i'll change my mind." you tried to spin the shaker in your hand, but the force you used was too little and it stopped on your palm too quickly, clumsily clattering to the counter. you stilled it, exhaling sharply when jeonghan giggled beside you, looking to seokmin. "he might be right."

"it's almost like i know you," jeonghan teased, nudging you. "she was convinced she could become my personal bartender for all of two weeks."

"i tried," you whined. seokmin laughed. "the tricks are harder than they look."

"and you hated shaking drinks."

you put the shaker back, defeated. "the ice made it cold."

"isn't that the point?" seokmin asked.

jeonghan smiled at you. "you're lucky i like wine."

"i'm gonna talk to you now," you announced, turning your body to seokmin. "because you're nicer to me than he is."

"aw," the architect chuckled, and seokmin watched you react to a squeeze at your butt. "did he make you soft? can't take my teasing anymore?"

you ignored him, trying to ask the man in front of you about his lessons, but you yelped when his hand firmly landed on your ass, grabbing seokmin's arm in reaction. he looked at you, seemingly just as shocked, and you tried to continue the conversation, but jeonghan's hand didn't leave, and your entire body was reacting to the way it was slowly hiking up your skirt and running between your thighs.

your eyes fell shut, and you muttered for him to cut it out as your grip on seokmin's arm tightened, but jeonghan just made eye contact with the other male, asking him instead if he should.

without thinking, seokmin shook his head and put his hands on your jaw, pulling you in to kiss him. your moan against his lips was involuntary, and jeonghan grinned as his fingers ran over your core, making you whine.

"did you tell him?" you gasped out, asking seokmin with hooded eyes. he shook his head, saying that he hadn't told him everything.

"told me what?" jeonghan asked, interest piqued as he put down his glass, pulling his hand out from your skirt and placing them on your hips instead, squeezing gently as he stood behind you, and your head fell back into his shoulder without much intention as you licked your lips. "seokmin?"

he pulled his gaze, trained on your mouth, to look at jeonghan, and he felt his breath stop in his throat as he fully processed the sight in front of him. you gasped again, as jeonghan's hand came up to knead at your breast, and you tried to pull seokmin closer, but he didn't stop moving even when he was pressed against you.

jeonghan thought he might faint. he wasn't sure what he had been expecting, but when seokmin's hand found the back of his neck and pulled him over your shoulder, his mind went blank. when his lips found his, his vision went white. when he felt his tongue against the inside of his teeth, he couldn't help but moan, one hand gripping your waist and the other aimlessly tugging on seokmin's shirt, seemingly just to hold something that belonged to him.

"fuck, okay," jeonghan breathed, staring after the musicians lips even when they left. you giggled, recognizing the feeling. "okay," he repeated. "got it. understood."

you spun around, hands on jeonghan's chest. "we prepared something for you," you said, and seokmin's cheeks and ears were bright red when he sheepishly nodded with you.

jeonghan looked between the two of you, swallowing suddenly. "what?"

you tugged on his hand, then grabbed seokmin's, too, when he didn't move right away, leading them both to walk around the couch. you pulled jeonghan onto the cushions with you, kissing him briefly before he realized someone was between his knees. when he saw him, that was when jeonghan's dick woke up, suddenly realizing what was happening.

"be nice," you muttered against the shell of his ear, your hand running down his torso. "it's his first time."

seokmin's hands were strong but gentle, and despite never having touched a dick that wasn't attached to him, he knew what felt good. he needed a bit of guidance from you to begin, less from lack of knowing the process and more because he was nervous, but quickly found a comfortable rhythm. jeonghan sighed when he finally got pulled out of his pants, and you were sucking a mark into his neck, his arm wrapped around you and his hand kneading at your rear. his eyes could hardly stay open when seokmin ran his flattened tongue up the underside of his cock.

"isn't he pretty?" you asked, whispering, a smile on your lips. 

he groaned, threading his fingers behind seokmin's ear, desperately trying to hold back his release because he hasn't even put you in his mouth, yet, jeonghan, for god's sake, keep it together. the younger's eyes flickered up to his, and he nearly came just from the feeling of his soft lips around his member, sinking slowly.

"fuck, you're too good at this," jeonghan said, the half chuckle on his lips falling quickly when seokmin's tongue ran over a vein, the warmth of his mouth feeling like heaven. his teeth bit down on his lower lip, watching your hand run through seokmin's hair. he hummed at the contact, his grip tightening slightly, sending a jolt through jeonghan's system. "fuck, i'm gonna cum already."

"there were lessons," you giggled, your hands wrapping casually around his neck. his breathing hitched, eyes falling shut, focusing on the mouth sheathing his cock as he recognized your fidgeting fingers over his pulse. "merry christmas, daddy."

he inhaled sharply right before you squeezed at his throat, and he thought that he should maybe let you lead more often if it was going to feel this good. seokmin seemed surprised by the feeling of jeonghan cumming in his mouth, but he did his best to pump every drop from him, swallowing thickly. you only smiled when jeonghan sat up, leaving you behind as he pulled seokmin's face to his, his hands running up jeonghan's thighs as he kissed him.

jeonghan decided the sunroom extension was all wrong, and that he'd have to redo it.

"you just built that," wonwoo said, having been the contractor that oversaw the construction. "besides, it's snowy season, we can't do outdoor construction. you'll have to wait til spring."

"not outdoor," jeonghan said, rolling out the drafting papers he had drawn up over the course of his new year break, the final pieces being completed in the wee hours of that morning. he had sent wonwoo a text as soon as he thought he would be awake, asking for a meeting despite it only being two days after the new year. "the shell can stay the same, we just need to build indoors. besides, i need this done in february."

wonwoo blinked at him. "when in february?"

"it has to be fully furnished by the 18th."

the contractor laughed at the deadline, only a month and a half out, as he looked over jeonghan's drafts. it would be a tight schedule, considering the structural changes he wanted, but he recognized his long time work partner's determination and knew there was little he could do to argue. "okay. let's get to work."

he turned down a contract for a café to make time for the new home project, but not before recommending they contact a kim mingyu, giving him the vaguest thank you for introducing seokmin back into his life. he didn't have time to draw several attempted variations of every café he had ever designed, he was too busy mapping out the logistics of adding a lofted space to the two story sunroom. too busy planning to tear out the outer wall of your office and picking the right sliding glass doors that would lead to the loft. you had to ask him several days in a row before he finally told you what he had planned.

"a music room?"

he tried to gauge your reaction. "is it crazy?"

you broke out into a smile, studying his design, gripping the mug that held your latté that morning. "absolutely, but i love it."

he asked you to help him pick instruments, saying his wishlist included a white grand piano and three to five guitars that could be displayed together. he also told you to pick out your dream computer setup for production - you were graduating that year, afterall, and it was about time you started using something other than your laptop and a midi controller to make music - and you almost started crying from how fucking excited that made you.

hiding the plans from seokmin was the hardest part, especially when he started spending weekends at the house. he saw the construction area often, and one friday afternoon, he had even asked if he could help, leaving you to usher him away and assure him that jeonghan didn't like help when it came to these things. he believed the white lie, allowing you to distract him with the option of watching shit television in bed, even convincing him that tonight was the night to surprise his new boyfriend. seokmin laid in bed with his arms wrapped around you, trying not to move too much, fully aware that even the slightest movements in his body caused his dick to come to life, until the last of the workers left and jeonghan appeared, asking if there were dinner requests before he went to take a shower.

seokmin had been training with you for over a week. you had bought him some toys, even helped him try them out in the comfort of his loft, and he got increasingly excited - generally, but also in those moments - to show jeonghan what he had learned. the surprise he had been keeping had already made him beg you to cockwarm him as he waited, but you refused on account of knowing him, and by extension, knowing that he would not being able to stop himself. he had a bit more confidence, though it may have only been fueled by horniness, when he pulled the vaguely sweaty architect toward him on the bed. he tried to say something about how he should really wash up, but seokmin just kissed him, hands gripping around his skull in desperation, his dick already hard against jeonghan's pelvis.

jeonghan's hands wandered, as they usually did, and when he reached down to palm at seokmin's ass, he reacted in a way that earned him a questioning glance.

"we - ah-" his eyes shut, jeonghan's hands getting closer to his surprise. "she's been helping me-"

and that was when he felt it. the small, hard handle of a plug, situated between seokmin's perky asscheeks, easy to feel through the loose fabric of his shorts, and jeonghan felt his arousal tenting his pants just from the concept.

jeonghan hadn't even noticed your movement off the bed until a bottle of lube hit his leg, looking down at it briefly before looking to you.

"i'm gonna go clean up," you said, running a hand through your hair as you retreated to the bathroom, leaving jeonghan with an already flustered seokmin. 

before long, he had him on his back, naked, and finally got to see how sweet his little ass looked when jeonghan pushed his knees towards his chest. when he saw the black knob fitting tightly into his hole, he groaned, his own bare cock flinching in need. he put a hand on seokmin's dick, gripping it lightly, then put a thumb against the plug.

"nngh- fuck," seokmin stammered, fingers gripping at the bedsheets as his neck stretched out against the pillows, bucking into the hand wrapped around him. "j-jeonghan…"

"this is cute," he said, slowly moving his thumb in a circular motion, the plug's movement making seokmin let out choked moans. "but i really need to play with you now."

seokmin nodded, hurriedly, brows knit together. "please."

he hooked his fingers under the knob of the plug, slowly pulling it out and relishing in the reaction. the younger's back arched in a way that jeonghan wished he could see from every angle, knowing that the way his shoulders and back looked must have been incredible, but satisfied by just watching the way his mouth hung open and his eyes clamped shut, his fingers gripping at jeonghan's hand where it stayed on his dick.

he began to pump the dick in his palm, setting aside the plug and grabbing the lube, popping it open with just his left hand and quickly squirting a healthy amount onto the tip of seokmin's penis, making quick work of spreading it completely over the engorged member, the slickness making him moan even louder and reach out for jeonghan's shoulders.

he let seokmin tug him over him, kissing him briefly before looking down at where the younger's thighs spread over his, wanting nothing more than to just fuck him already.

jeonghan's hand left seokmin's cock, leaving him whining against his lips, but it was short lived as his lubed fingers slid down to his puckered hole.

"seokmin," he muttered, studying his face. "you're sure, right?"

"fuck, i've been wanting this for since christmas, jeonghan," he sputtered out, eyes barely able to focus when there were fingers teasing his entrance. "yes, please, i'm sure."

jeonghan slid a digit into the tight hole, watching seokmin's face as his brows creased and his head fell back, a moan tumbling from his lips. another finger, jeonghan decided, and the reaction was similar, making him smirk.

"god, you're ready, aren't you?"

"please," he begged. "i want you."

jeonghan sat back, and the musician got on his elbows to watch as he readied his cock with lube, putting more on his finger and spreading it around seokmin's hole. he whined when jeonghan placed the head of his dick at his entrance, tugging him over him again.

"i'll go slow, okay?" jeonghan assured him. "tell me if i need to stop."

seokmin just nodded, eyes trained on his, and they locked lips as jeonghan pushed his hips forward slowly, the man under him immediately moaning and huffing against his mouth.

jeonghan really liked sex with seokmin. he also really liked sex with you. but he was pretty sure he liked it the most when you were both present.

seokmin didn't walk right for a day and a half, and while he was slightly embarrassed, you told him it was a badge of honor he should wear proudly. afterall, he had done the same to you on halloween. 

"how's your butt?" you asked when he came down the stairs, the sunday morning after they had done the deed without you, making him choke out a laugh as you got his tea out of a cabinet in jeonghan's kitchen.

"better than yesterday," he said, gingerly seating himself at a stool. "but not as good as friday."

you eyed him. "before or during?"

seokmin thought a second. "both."

"good morning," jeonghan said, quickly planting kisses on the man and then you, cheek and lips respectively based on the convenience as he walked past you, making his way to the espresso machine. "i think i'm gonna work on the sunroom today."

"today?" you asked. "wonwoo's gonna say no."

"wonwoo isn't getting invited. i still have to find furniture," he said, rinsing out the espresso shot glass and wiping down the portafilter. "we're getting close to deadline, i need boo to order the upholstery job on tuesday and i have a meeting tomorrow."

"when's deadline?" seokmin asked, wondering why he had one for a home project.

jeonghan blinked at the wall, not even turning towards the younger. "don't worry your pretty head about it."

you pouted, closing the short distance and wrapping your arms around him, your chin on his shoulder. "it's sunday. can't we cuddled puddle?"

"you mean like we do every night?" jeonghan asked, but grinding espresso beans so you couldn't answer the rhetorical question, packing down the grounds. "if you want to cuddle puddle, don't get out of bed so early."

you huffed as you dropped your arms, leaving him to prep a glass for his americano. "whatever. seokmin and i will have fun without you."

"what kind of fun?"

you stick your tongue out at him, using a teasing voice when you said "wouldn't you like to know."

innocent fun, was the truth, but you thought it was a victimless bluff. you spent the morning sitting on the couch with seokmin while a record played, discussing everything from your favorite movies to your weirdest dreams. you had to get up every six songs or so to flip or change the record, but seokmin liked that every time you rejoined him on the couch, you got closer to his side until you were eventually snuggling into his side, arms wrapped around his torso.

the innocence stopped when jeonghan emerged from his study, joining the two of you for a break. he planted himself on the other side of seokmin, under his arm, letting his hand not-so-subtly run over his thigh. you noticed the contact, peeking around to jeonghan.

"what kind of break are you looking for, hannie?"

he adjusted. "an inspiring one."

you giggled, recognizing the euphemism he used whenever he was stuck on something for work as you leaned back again. "that means he's horny."

seokmin sputtered out a laugh, jeonghan chuckling at your direct observation. "it's hard to not think about you two sitting out here, having fun without me."

"you may not believe it," seokmin said. "but i don't think sex was even on the table for us two today."

jeonghan's eyes met his, and he swallowed harshly. "can it be on the table for all three of us?"

the comfort of returning to bed was hard to deny, especially when they had you laid out against seokmin's chest as he was pressed against the headboard, his mouth attached to your neck and his fingers twisting a nipple, all while jeonghan was digging his digits further into you with his tongue flicking against your clit. 

seokmin grunted, rutting his hips against your back. "fuck, he looks good there."

you gasped, nodding, biting at your lip as he kneaded your breast, your fingers digging into jeonghan's hair. "you both do."

jeonghan never struggled to pull you apart, his deft fingers and teasing lips making you squirm and moan until you were shaking, mouth hanging open as your vision blurred and he told you you tasted like candy.

"minnie," jeonghan prompted, making the younger sit up with you whining against him to clean your taste off his fingers. his dick throbbed in need, watching the singer's agile tongue against him, wishing it wasn't just on his fingers.

seokmin had to practically beg jeonghan to fuck him again, but his only hesitation was that he may not have recovered yet. seokmin  was on his back and gripped at jeonghan's thighs, urging him forward as your hand twisted around his thick, throbbing cock.

jeonghan swallowed, pausing despite being covered in lube and in position. "you're sure?"

"yes," seokmin said, gasping at your hand on him. "jeonghan, i appreciate you asking, but i'm always sure when it comes to you."

you weren't sure you had ever seen jeonghan blush like that in bed, and you smiled against seokmin's neck as he groaned, his cock firming in your grasp as the older pushed into him. you admired seokmin's silent scream, his head lolling to one side at the feeling.

"angel," jeonghan sighed, settling into the way seokmin squeezed around him. "what do you wanna do?"

you teased a thumb over seokmin's slit. "i wanna ride."

"f-fuuck-" seokmin panted, his hips resting against jeonghan's spread thighs as his knees hung to either side. "i'm not- nngh- gonna last."

"you don't have to," you said matter of factly, adjusting to straddle his torso. jeonghan winced, watching your form as he pumped into seokmin. "we're done when daddy says so."

you put your hand, palm up, over your shoulder, and jeonghan chuckled at the recognized motion for him to spit on your fingers - usually, so that you could slick his dick to sit back on it. you worked jeonghan's spit over seokmin's engorged cock, then slowly lowered yourself onto him.

seokmin stared up at you, eyes fluttering and mouth open, suddenly not only feeling impossibly full, but also absolutely stuffed into you. he moaned out loud when jeonghan bumped into his spot, overwhelmed by the simultaneous pleasure. you fell forward onto his chest, holding yourself up with shaky arms as your face hovered over his, both of you trying to hold off your own demises.

then, jeonghan pushed himself deep into seokmin, who whined, his dick pushing up against your cervix. you nearly collapsed, whimpering as your forehead fell to his, gasping into a desperate kiss. jeonghan groaned, his hand running over your hip as he looked at the intersection of you all, staring at the way you barely contained all of seokmin before he leaned forward and kissed your spine.

"you two will kill me," he said, one hand holding you firmly at your waist while the other gripped seokmin's thigh as he picked up his pace. you both moaned, fingernails digging into the plushest part of your thigh when seokmin questioned how much longer he could hold out at jeonghan's unrelenting pace.

a long, high pitched whine fell from his lips. "fuck, i need to cum," he rushed out, bleary eyes barely opening as he looked at you.

"hang on, baby," jeonghan said. "ladies first."

you babbled against seokmin's lips, somehow never being able to get used to the way he filled you, though jeonghan pushing him into you didn't help. you could do nothing but repeat curses in increasing pitch, pushing your face into seokmin's neck as your walls clamped down around him. his mouth gaped, desperately trying to not succumb to your plush insides before he got the okay.

jeonghan smiled at how seokmin tried to focus on him, despite his hands gripping you as you shook against him. "go ahead, baby."

so seokmin went. and god, he went, coating you internally, immediately squeezing out around his stuffed cock and onto his lap, making jeonghan pant as he kept his hips moving, chasing his own end. he leaned forward, chest pressing against your back as he fucked into seokmin, not stopping until his eyes were clamped shut and he was painting his walls white.

there was a long period of time where none of you moved, then another after you had all managed to untangle from each other. jeonghan sat back, leaning against a hand and scratching his brow as he breathed heavily.

"bathtub cuddle puddle?"

you laughed, chest heaving as you looked over to him, but it was seokmin who spoke. "that sounds nice."

he started to get suspicious when his birthday got closer.

jeonghan told you to suggest a dinner outing for that night to divert attention, but he had caught you moving one of the guitars for the music room only a few days before his birthday, and he looked at you with squinted eyes when he asked if it was for him and you hurriedly said no, hiding the guitar behind your back despite him clearly being able to see it. 

"i panicked," you told jeonghan, eyes wide. "he saw it in me. he could tell it wasn't just the guitar."

"it'll be fine, y/n," he said, pushing around potted plants until they satisfied him. "he has to think it's weird that we haven't let him see this room yet, anyways."

you chewed your cheek, looking around the almost completed sunroom. the tall windows showed the light snowflakes falling from the sky, not quite thick enough to leave a layer but enough to make the enclosed yard look slightly pastel. despite the open space that looked out into the cold seoul winter, it stayed cozy, heat radiating from the floorboards and the faux fur rugs laid across them. the space near the entrance had a raised floor with a grand piano, along with several guitars hanging upon the wall, while the area partially covered by the balcony had two heavily cushioned, dark heather gray couches and a bright armchair, adorned with pillows and cable knit blankets.

jeonghan had a slight obsessive nature when it came to his home projects. he was meticulous with contracts, too, but he truly wanted this house to be perfect - not just for him, but for the people he loved. so you watched him rearrange pillows about four more times before you ran up the stairs to the loft to see if he had changed anything there since you had looked the day before.

it almost felt as though it was outdoors, with plants hanging off the edge of the railing and the rustic desk he had originally picked for your office placed to one side. you imagined doing schoolwork here, fantasizing slightly about watching seokmin play piano from your vantage point as you wrote essays. you slid open the glass doors to peek into your new office.

he had painted the walls white, taking a hint from the styling in your own apartment when he picked out a neutral toned couch and light wood shelving, your early graduation present of a computer set up spread across an L shaped desk. he had even paid to have your upright piano moved here, and cut into the next room over to give you more space for an electric drumset. you couldn't help but smile, imagining your friends coming over to record stuff with you. you had always felt strange about inviting them to your rich boyfriend's house, despite him insisting they were welcome, but he had really gone through the trouble of making a room so perfect for all of them that you had no choice.

and it was brighter, you thought. you had told him you worked better in bright spaces.

despite jeonghan's promises, the music room renovation felt like it was as much a gift for you as it was for seokmin. though, maybe he couldn't help it, when the reasons he loved you both overlapped so much.

you went to seokmin's apartment the next day with a bagged gift for him, arriving again right as his client was leaving, and you smiled at the same young man you had seen the first time you had come to visit seokmin. you knew his name now, not because you had spoken to him much, but because you had been told about him by his teacher, and you congratulated him on getting a gig the upcoming weekend.

"oh," jisung said, glancing between the two of you. "he talks about me?"

you laughed and gave him a fighting, seokmin looking upwards to hide his embarrassment as he ushered his student toward the door. "have a nice week, jisung! i'll try to be there this weekend," he said, throwing you a look as you giggled. 

"it's not for guitar, you don't have to come," the younger assured. "but if you want to, bring your girlfriend!"

"yeah!" you said, putting your fists on your hips. "i'm getting you dinner for your birthday tonight, the least you can do is take me to an underground rap show!"

"okay, both of you, no more talking," seokmin said, trying and failing to prevent jisung from stopping in his tracks at the news that it was his birthday.

"woah, teach, happy birthday!" he laughed. "you weren't gonna say anything?" he kept talking even as his teacher pushed him out of his apartment.

you couldn't stop grinning when the door closed, seokmin turning to you. he pointed at you, trying to hide his smile as he could only get out a vaguely annoyed "you."

"happy birthday, baby," you said, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into a kiss. he softened against you, smiling as you pulled away, his hands on your waist as he thanked you quietly.

"he asks about you a lot," seokmin said, joining you when you laughed at the fact. "i think he has a crush on you."

you rolled your eyes. "stop bragging about me, then."

"i don't brag," he said, smiling into another kiss. "i just tell the truth. i can't help that you're a dream come true."

you only pulled away from him to grab the two thick paper bags that you had set on his couch. "c'mon, we gotta head out. open your presents."

seokmin's mouth dropped open when he saw the logo on the bag. "wait, you didn't."

"i had to," you said, giggling as he grabbed one and tugged it open, moving to the couch to pull the garment out. "you said you wanted it."

"where did you find one?" he asked, staring at the corduroy parka from the brand you saw him wear constantly. "they've been sold out for weeks!"

"i got it before then, duh." you poked his cheek when he pouted at you, his eyebrows knit. "there's more, stop getting distracted."

seokmin hugged you extra tight as a thank you for his romantic crown haul, and he decisively pulled on the golden yellow shirt with the pizza on the back, making you grin at how perfectly jeonghan had predicted his thought process before you dragged him out of his apartment to go get dinner.

"we're just picking it up," you said, jangling a keychain. he gave you a quirked eyebrow, and you giggled, pulling him over to jeonghan's car. "do you wanna see it self drive?"

you pushed the side door closed with your butt and called out to jeonghan, saying the birthday boy was here. seokmin took the pizza boxes from your arms and put them on the kitchen counter as jeonghan walked around the stairs.

"well one of us has to change," jeonghan said facetiously, and seokmin looked down at the yellow shirt peeking through his half zipped parka, looking back up at jeonghan, who was wearing the same shirt.

"wait wait wait," you giggled, turning around to undo the zipper of your own jacket, pulling it open as you spun around to reveal that you, too, were wearing the shirt.

seokmin looked between you two with wide eyes, his eyebrows creasing. "you got us matching shirts?"

"pizza shirt gang!" you giggled, stripping off your jacket. "do you like them?"

he smiled into a disbelieving laugh. "how did you know i would put it on?"

"because we know you, minnie," jeonghan said, reaching for his hand after he took off his new coat. "before we eat, i finished the sunroom today, wanna see it?"

"hang on," seokmin stopped, making his hand fall from jeonghan's. "that's not the gift, right?" he looked at you. "the sunroom isn't the gift?"

you pursed your lips, looking at the ceiling, and seokmin started to argue, making jeonghan laughed. "who cares if it's for you, i just want you to come look at it."

jeonghan is pretty sure he always loved seokmin. it wasn't something he would ever be able to change about himself, he figured, as he watched his lover cover his face with his hands, sinking to crouch on the floor as his eyes looked around the large room that was lit by fairy light. the first thing he had seen was the piano, which made him gasp, then he saw the guitars, and looked at your smiling face, suddenly connecting dots, unable to stay standing from the shock as he understood why he hadn't been allowed to help.

and then he started crying.

the two of you ushered him to a couch, sitting him down as he sniffed back the tears. you sat beside him, wrapping your arms around his shoulder and cooing, jeonghan crouching on the floor in front of him.

"i'm sorry," jeonghan said, smiling slightly as he gave him an apologetic look. "i didn't mean to overwhelm you."

seokmin choked on a laugh, wiping at his cheeks. "how did you think i'd react?"

"i don't think he thought about it," you whispered, knowing full well jeonghan could hear you.

"i got a little carried away," he admitted, hand rubbing comforting circles on seokmin's leg. "you're special to me, so i wanted to make something special for you."

"this," seokmin said, looking around, gesturing at his surroundings. "this?"

the older huffed out a laugh, almost embarrassed. "yeah, this."

seokmin laughed too, eyes wet as he looked into the other's. "i can't believe you would make something this incredible for me."

"you're incredible," jeonghan said. "i want you to feel welcome in my home."

"i couldn't believe the record wall, either," you offered when seokmin seemed speechless, pressing your cheek against the his shoulder, hand rubbing his back. "jeonghan's love language is a little unique."

seokmin sniffed one more time, studying jeonghan's face, his brow creasing ever so slightly. "holy shit, i'm in love with you."

your heart stopped as you pulled away slightly to look at him, then jeonghan, who was frozen.

"i didn't realize that's what this was," seokmin said, hand gripping the one on his thigh. "i knew i liked you, but this is-"

jeonghan rose quickly, seating himself at seokmin's other side and kissed him. "i love you," he said, thumbs wiping over his slightly damp cheekbones. "it's taken me years to admit it, but i love you."

seokmin kissed him again in response, his face feeling hot from the continued attention. he broke away, only to look around the room again, jeonghan studying his face with a smile as he did.

"i think," seokmin said, clearing his throat when the words came out weak. he looked to you, then to jeonghan. "i think this is the best birthday i've ever had."

jeonghan laughed. "we haven't even had the pizza yet."

[psychospeak-blog]

Won’t Go Slowly // 69

One // Two  // Three // Four // Five // Six // Seven // Eight // Nine // Ten // Eleven // Twelve // Thirteen // Fourteen // Fifteen // Sixteen // Seventeen // Eighteen // Nineteen// Twenty // Twenty One // Twenty Two // Twenty Three // Twenty Four// Twenty Five // Twenty Six // Twenty Seven // Twenty Eight // Twenty Nine // Thirty // Thirty One // Thirty Two // Thirty Three // Thirty Four// Thirty Five // Thirty Six // Thirty Seven // Thirty Eight // Thirty Nine // Forty // Forty One // Forty Two // Forty Three // Forty Four // Forty Five // Forty Six // Forty Seven // Forty Eight // Forty Nine // Fifty // Fifty One // Fifty Two // Fifty Three // Fifty Four // Fifty Five // Fifty Six // Fifty Seven // Fifty Eight // Fifty Nine // Sixty// Sixty One // Sixty // Sixty One // Sixty Two // Sixty Three// Sixty Four// Sixty Five // Sixty Six // Sixty Seven // Sixty Eight

The thing was, you were used to going to rinks and hockey events with Tyler.   You were used to the meeting up with him, to the feeling like you were somehow being signaled out when it was obvious that he knew you or that you were getting special treatment.

You were not used to going to these events as his girlfriend.

You also think you'd only been to Biosteel Camp once before, that week the marking the separation of his life with you and his life in the NHL. 

But some things were different now that you had a child with who you wanted to share new experiences.  So when Tyler had asked you to come, you'd agreed, realizing that having Bentley come along added a layer of excitement to go to a hockey game, even if it was just a scrimmage.  Which is exactly why you had Bentley dressed in Dallas Stars colours, even though Tyler himself wouldn't even be wearing them.  You'd decided that you didn't want to drive into the city by yourself, which is why you had Bentley packed up to head in with Tyler for the day, in his jeep which seemed to be your new family vehicle.

"You might want to get into this lane here," Tyler said, leaned forward, and then looking over his shoulder, "But there's a car right behind you so -"

"I have driven before, you know," you laughed, and Tyler sheepishly sat back.

"Sorry, sorry," he said, "I like to be in control, especially when you're driving my car."

"I've driven your car before, too," you said.

"Well, I still like to be in control."

"You're in control of him," you said, nodding towards the backseat, where Bentley was in his car seat.  

Tyler turned in his seat, looking at the mirror that reflected Bentley's face back at you.  "He's sleeping."

"Tyler," you whined, your whole body moving in a sigh.

"What?" he asked, completely oblivious.

"You never, ever point out that a baby is sleeping when you really don't want them to wake up."

"Is that a thing?"

"Yes, it's a thing."

"Well, I didn't attend the parenting classes, I don't know," he said, "It's not in my book."

"I didn't go to a parenting class," you laughed.

"Yeah, you did," Tyler said, looking at you, and you wracked your brain until you remembered.

"That was a childbirth class.  And I went to a baby CPR class," you said, thinking, your eyes glancing towards him, "Would you go to one of those?"

"A baby CPR class?" Tyler asked, and you nodded, "If you want me to?"

"I just think it would be a good idea for us both to know it if we're gonna be living together.  Officially," you said, "And he's gonna be starting solids soon so he could choke."

"He could choke?" Tyler asked, in alarm, "I thought babies ate like... mush."

"Well, they do eat soft stuff," you confirm, "but it's a different texture.  They have to get used to it."

"I'll go if you’ 'll come with me and take it again?" Tyler asked hopefully.

"Deal," you agreed, "I mean if we can find someone to watch Bentley."

"We can find someone to watch Bentley," Tyler said confidently.  "Jamie can do it."

"Jamie?" you repeated.

"Yeah, he's great with kids," Tyler said. 

"Yeah, but it's just not about being great with kids, watching a baby isn't the same thing as hanging out with an older kid."

"You let me watch him."

"Yeah, but you're different," you said.

"What? How?"

"You know...." you said, taking your hand off the wheel for a moment and gesturing back and forth between him and Bentley in the backseat to demonstrate that connection and Tyler cleared his throat loudly, and you placed your hand obediently back on the wheel.

"Well, I wouldn't let any of the guys watch him unless I knew they could do it," Tyler said, "He's got a niece, he babysits for other kids on the team."

"Really?" you asked in surprise.

"Yeah, we're more than just hockey players, you know," Tyler said, "we have skills."

"I know, I know, I just -" you laughed because you didn't quite know how to put into words that it felt overwhelming to think about having someone other than family watch your baby, even though you knew it was okay. 

It didn't really feel like your home there, yet.

"We just started dating babe, and I know we were fucking for like a year, but that's different."

"Tyler," you said in shock, with the baby in the back seat, so blunt, and you felt his eyes on you.

"Moving in together is a really big deal.  When you've been together for years and just ---"

"You think we shouldn't move in together?"

"What? No," Tyler said, "I'm just saying that.... we need to make sure we have time for each other. It's not just us, there's a kid and I just...if we're gonna do this whole parent thing, I think we just need to make sure we work on our relationship too. And I don't mean like pawn the kid off as soon as we get there, obviously, I want to hang out with him.  I just mean like...once a month or something."

And now you were imaging the anticipation that you might feel picking out just the right dress for a dinner out that Tyler had promised you after a long road trip, or sneaking moments throughout the day to find someplace fun nearby that Tyler hadn't discovered yet.

 "Okay, deal," you said, your wide smile giving away what your feelings about actually getting to date Tyler.

"I know where I'm taking you first," Tyler said, the smile evidence in his voice.

"Where?" you asked by reflex, even though you realized he'd want it to be a surprise.

"To the backyard," Tyler said, laughing even before he got the words out.  "Then you won't have to worry about worry about Bentley because we'll be right there."

"Okay, I wasn't that bad," you clarified, "The was the first time that I'd left him with someone who....wasn't involved in making him," you finally decided on, and Tyler burst out laughing.  

"It's fine, babe, I get it," Tyler said simply, his voice filled with an understanding that you didn't think you had until you actually had your own child.

"Love you," you said simply, because you couldn't put it into words how much it meant that he never questioned would feelings when it came to Bentley.

"Love you too," he replied, your tender moment being interrupted by Bentley's abrupt cry.

"Oh, what's the matter?" Tyler asked his voice sickly sweet, turning in his seat to see what was going on in the back.

"You're okay," you soothed, "we're just going for a car ride."

"Yeah, you're gonna go watch hockey," Tyler added, to which Bentley let out an even louder cry, "Okay, I guess you don't like hockey."

"He likes hockey," you said.

"How do you know?" Tyler asked.

"Because we used to watch it all the time when he was a newborn."

"Oh, so you who never used to watch hockey suddenly became a huge fan, huh?" he asked, his voice playful.

"Tyler, you literally watched the whole of Grey's Anatomy with me and baked everything I wanted with me even though you hate measuring."

"Well, it's so specific," Tyler said, waving his hand, and you laughed because you could somehow at least always convince him to hang out in the kitchen with you while you whipped up a batch of muffins or cookies.

"But, yeah, Bentley and I watched every game because we missed you."

"Aww," Tyler said, clearly exaggerating how adorable it was, but you could hear the smile in his voice.

"This'll be a test to see if he can handle going to a real game," you said, Bentley still making himself known from the backseat.

"Well, it'll probably be easier to take him to a Stars game," Tyler said, turning and reaching into the backseat, you assumed to see if he could grab Bentley's pacifier with the way he was reaching around.

"Why?" you asked, the simple amount of people seeming overwhelming to you because the person you felt understood Bentley just as well as you did would literally be on the ice.

R 5 4th 344

"Because you can just take him into the family room if you don't want to sit with him in the seats or need somewhere to feed him or change him or whatever."

"What's that?" you asked, Tyler huffing out a laugh, and you were reminded just how foreign this whole world was to you.

"It's a suite where all the girls hang out," Tyler said, "There's a bunch of toys and stuff for the guy's kids.  He'll probably be more psyched to hang out there than watch the game."

"Oh," you said quietly, still trying to process this all, and focusing on the fact that he was referring to the players’ kids, and not just family friends.

"When do you think he's gonna be able to walk?" Tyler asked, drawing you out of your thoughts.

"Umm...after he learns to crawl?" you said, Tyler making noise to let you know that was rather obvious.

"I'm just stoked for him to run down the hallway towards me after a game," Tyler said, his arms raised and flailing about, mimicking the determined and yet awkward way that toddlers ran.

"Yeah, that'll be cute," you said, caught in that place where you wanted your baby to stay little forever, but were also looking forward to seeing how his personality would continue to emerge.

"You fed him before we left, right?" Tyler asked, Bentley still making himself known from the backseat, and you nodded your affirmation.  

"He's just fussy," you said, recognizing his cry.

"What do I do?" Tyler asked, "Like how did you even do this by yourself?"

You laughed a little under your breath, Tyler turned in his seat, looking at you like you had all the answers.  And although you'd driven with him before so many times, it was always him driving, and now he seemed a little out of his comfort zone like he was doing the wrong thing, even though you knew if Tyler had him in the car by himself he'd figure it out.

"Just talk to him," you offered.

"Like about what?"

"Anything," you said.  "he just wants to hear your voice.  Like when I was taking him to my mom's on Father's day, I told him all about what Father's day was. And why we were getting you a gift, and why you were spending time with your dad.."

"Awe," Tyler said, "Hmm..."

You didn't even realize you laughed until Tyler instructed you not to laugh at him because he was thinking and that he was under pressure now because you'd told Bentley something sweet, so he just couldn't tell any old story.

"Oh, I know," Tyler said, his voice even and thoughtful, "I'll tell you about the first time I realized that your mom was going to be a good mom."

And now you were pretty sure that you were paying even more attention to the timbre of Tyler's voice than Bentley was.

"So one time Grandma Jackie and Papa went to go out, so Uncle Ty-Ty had to babysit your Auntie Candace and Cassidy," Tyler said, "And because Mommy's awesome, she came over to help."

"That's when you knew?" you asked suddenly.

"Shh..."Tyler said, "I'm telling the story to Bentley, not you."

"Oh, sorry."

"Anyways," Tyler continued, pointedly, "Because Mommy was secretly in love with me she gave up her Friday night to come to hang out and help me."

"Don't tell him that," you laughed.

"Oh, right, it was because she was a nerd."

"Tyler," you laughed.

"Anyways, I appreciated it," he said, "So we were just hanging out watching a movie or something after we the girls had gone to bed, and then we heard this big crash from the kitchen."

And now you knew exactly what he was getting at, still feeling like that teenager responsible for someone only a few years younger than you77 even though you now had a child of your own.

"And of course we ran up there, and there was glass all over the place," Tyler said, his voice showing just how shocking it was, "Because Auntie Cass wanted some water and she didn't think she needed to come ask for help because she wanted to do it by herself."

"Which is why you'll be drinking out of a sippy cup until you're 12," you said.

"Yeah," Tyler laughed, "Anyways, so because Uncle Ty-Ty didn't think about what was doing he yelled, and what did Auntie Cass do?  She cried.  Yeah, even louder than you're crying right now."

"See, Uncle Ty-Ty was just scared that she was going to hurt herself more and he didn't think about how she might feel, but Mommy did," Tyler said, "She was so calm, and she just knew the right thing to say."

As Tyler's voice softened, you could hear the noises coming from Bentley softening, too.

"She knew just how to calm her down," Tyler said, "Because Uncle Ty-Ty didn't even know why she was crying, and if Mommy wasn't there, Auntie Cass probably would have been crying until Grandma got home."

"That's why I knew she was going to be a good Mom," Tyler said, more to you now than Bentley, "Because she cares a lot, but she also thinks about how other people are going to feel. She always knows just what to say to make people feel better. So I was really, really glad she was there."

"Well, I was glad you were there," you said, "I was freaking out."

"You were not," Tyler said, "I was freaking out."

"So was I," you confirmed, "You know how I hate that stuff."

"Well, you couldn't tell," Tyler said.

"Well, you couldn't tell you were freaking out either," you confirmed.

"'Cause you were there," Tyler said, even though it was the same for you, "I don't know why my mom didn't just ask you to babysit."

"Because you had it under control," you insisted, "It was your idea to take them to the corner store and let th6em pick out a chocolate bar to have with our ice cream."

"Yeah, cause they always take my money," Tyler said, a subtle uptick of his lips.

"You can't say no," you laughed, Tyler no longer able to hide his smile.  And it was him who suggested Cassidy come sit with you on the couch after you'd cleaned up the glass, Tyler carrying her to bed after she'd fallen asleep during the movie, something which had made him seem so much older than the sixteen years he'd been at the time, Tyler looking over his shoulder now.

"Okay, apparently we were boring before he got here," he said.

"A little bit.  I think he liked your story though," you said, "But you gotta stop only telling him good stories about me. We need like a storybook."

"Don't tell me what I can and can't tell him," Tyler said, his voice playful and teasing.  "I'll always hype you up, babe. I'm like your hype man."

"Well, listen when you're out there because we're gonna cheer for you," you said.

"I will," Tyler smiled, looking back again.  "He's already got the shirt though."

"He's got all the shirts, one for each game of the season, " you said, Tyler laughing.

"Do you think he'll wake up at all?" Tyler asked as you pulled into town, getting closer to that arena you'd spent so much time in as a teenager.

"Oh yeah," you said confidently, as Bentley was getting more and more interesting and aware of the world around him each day.  "Where do you want me to drop you off?"

"Just up here," Tyler said, pointing to an open spot, and you noticed the 6other guys arriving after having driven to the rink on their own, whereas you felt like you were drawing attention to yourself with the way you were arriving.

"I feel like I'm your mom dropping you off at practice," you said.

"Nah," Tyler said, leaning across the console towards you, pressing his lips easily to yours before you even had a chance to process what was happening.  "I'm not embarrassed to kiss you in front of my friends."

You weren't expecting him to grasp the back of your head though, pulling you to him for a deeper kiss, his hand tangling in your ponytail, and you knew you'd have to fix it, but you didn't care, smiling against his lips.  

"You need anything before I go?" he asked.

"No, we're good, we're just gonna go pick up Brooke," you said, Bentley still sleeping, hoping he'd be able to get a bit more of a nap in while you did that, so he'd wake up rested and hopefully on his own.  "Dani's gonna meet us here."

"K, well tell Bentley to look out for puck bunnies."

"Tyler!" you scolded, which he scrunched his nose up at, laughing.

"Hey, I said watch out for them, like avoid them, not look for them."

"Mhmm," you said, teasingly.

"I'll see you in a bit," he promised, and you kissed him once more, certain that he was being even more quiet than usual when getting his gear out of the back as if not to wake Bentley, hearing him talking to the other guys although you couldn't hear what they were saying, part of you wondering if he was explaining why he was arriving with such an entourage.

You were, however, thankful that you had brought your somewhat of an entourage with you, setting up a spot in the stands with your diaper bag which you'd tried to pare down as little as possible, Bentley curled up in Brooke's lap, eyes blinking drowsily as he began to realize that he was somewhere new.

"Oh, you made it," you said, when Danielle found you, knowing that she'd have to come by after work, your summer this year so much different than last, when you were still working regular hours.

"Well, yeah, I got to spend as much time as possible with you guys before you leave," she said, leaning down to hug you.

"I know," you said, your voice bittersweet, but as you felt the excitement of the kids around you thinking about getting a chance to see their favorite hockey player in person and your eyes watching Bentley's reaction, you couldn't help but think that this was even better than the love you'd imagined you'd have in your life last year, the experience of getting to see all these things that seemed so ordinary before through Bentley's eyes your new favourite thing.

"You look like you're having an existential crisis," Danielle said, laughing as she sat down next to you.

"It's just...I used to spend so much time here in high school," you said, looking at the rink around you, "just because it was something to do and because we would all go get food afterward.  And I never even paid attention to what offsides were and barely noticed when Tyler scored and now I'm like... if you told me I would be sitting here with his baby completely invested, I would have thought you were crazy."

7

And yet it made you smile, having all this history with him.

"Careful how loud you say that baby part," Danielle said, eyebrows raised, although this was more about the kids getting a chance to see their favourite players in action, not so much the gossip and rumours that swirled online.  "We are going out to eat though, right? Because that's the only reason I came."

"Yeah, Tyler said there's a good sushi spot we can check out," you said, which was pretty much all he suggested when you went out to eat, knowing how much you'd missed real sushi while pregnant. "We brought Bentley's stroller in case he naps."

"Tyler's paying, right?" Danielle asked, her voice giving away that she didn't care either way. 

"I mean, it was his idea.." you said.  And although he teased you relentlessly about whose turn it was to pick up the cheque he pretty much always did.  Although he was more appreciative of when you grabbed him eggs at the store before he even noticed he was running low or arrived at his house after work on a warm summer day with a frozen lemonade for you both.  "We'll have to wait a bit though, he's doing this video interview piece or something? For a YouTube channel called Spittin Chiclets?"

"That's fine," Danielle said, leaning over towards Bentley, "you want to spend more time with Auntie Danielle,  right? Before you have to move because of silly hockey?" 

And you tilted your head at her, wanting to just enjoy this time you had left at home with all of your people, not thinking about how you were currently uprooting half your life.  It was almost like when you went away to university, leaving your summer essentials at home, except now you were a full-fledged adult and would be in a completely different country, not just an easy drive down the road.  

There had to be a handbook for 7y.

"He's doing Spittin' Chiclets?" Brooke asked, and you broke your gaze away from  Bentley in his Dallas Stars onesie, so much bigger than the first time he'd spotted the gear, noting the look on her face.

"Yeah, is it...not good?" you asked.

"No, no, I mean it's fine, everything's fine," Brooke said.  "They're just gonna definitely ask him if he has a girlfriend."

You still froze, even though he'd kissed you’d in the car, and been the first to be vocal about the fact that he had a girlfriend.

"Do a lot of people watch it?" You asked, hesitantly, wondering if this was going to be where things really started getting serious.  

"Kind of?" Brooke said, her tone letting you know that, in fact, a lot of people would be paying attention to Tyler's actions and words, and you wondered if you should have talked about this with him, even though he'd been being followed the whole camp.  "I’m sure it will be fine though."

"And it's not like it's live," Danielle added.

"Yeah, it's edited, I'm sure they'll edit it out if he says something dumb," Brooke said, the slight uptick of her lips indicating that Tyler would be the one to not think before he spoke. 

But you weren't exactly so sure how they could blur out that tattoo he had of your son's name across his ribs, the date so clearly connected with that game he'd missed in April, especially with Tyler's propensity to take his shirt off well working out.

Or anytime, really, part of you wishing that it was as inconspicuous as that tattoo he got for you.

But Tyler had never really been the one to shy away from sharing things, even if it was the declaration that it was personal.

So, instead, you focused on the fact that this was Bentley's first time in a hockey arena, getting to see Tyler play for the first time in person in the same place you had.

It was a lot easier than you thought, getting lost in the screams of excitement from around you, and you found yourself picking up Bentley, joining the group of kids who were waiting to see the players emerge from the tunnel. And, because you couldn’t resist when you heard the delighted calls trying to gain Tyler's attention, you tried to sneakily ease yourself in on the end, taking Bentley's hand in yours and extending it as if he was waiting for a fist bump too.  Tyler might have missed it had it been during the season but he wasn't forced to focus, looking up talking to the kids as he passed by in greeting, his grin growing wider when he saw you, eyebrows raise in acknowledgment that he'd get to you, so you stood up a little more, easing out of the way.  

When Tyler got to you though, he didn't reach out his glove towards Bentley's hand like you thought he would, instead of shaking it off and tucking it under his arm, extending his hands out and motioning with his fingers for you to hand the baby over.  

"Give him to you?" You asked like you weren't understanding him properly.  Tyler didn't answer you but nodded emphatically, so you shifted Bentley, holding on tight to his torso as you held him over the railing, Tyler reaching up to support his weight quickly, and then easily shifting Bentley onto his hip, Bentley's eyes going wide with interest, Tyler's large hand splayed easily across his stomach.  You weren’t going to lie and say that you didn’t hold your breath when Tyler stepped onto the ice with your four-month-old, but Tyler was watching him carefully, Bentley's body barely even moving with the movement.  Somehow, Tyler managed to turn around without his feet even moving, giving you a view of him watching Bentley's reaction. 

And then your brain caught up to where you were, that you couldn't stay stuck in this moment forever, fishing your phone out of your pocket to take a picture.  You could see Tyler talking to Bentley but couldn't hear what he was saying, pointing towards you like he thought he could encourage a baby to not only make eye contact but smile for a picture.  You thought you'd got a decent one but Tyler frowned though, motioning back a forth between you and then spinning his hand around, gesturing for you to turn around.  Cluelessly, you looked behind you, seeing Danielle and Brooke there, realizing that Tyler wanted you to get in the picture too, and you swire you could hear Tyler giggling at you, shooting him a look over your shoulder as you inched up near the glass, hearing Tyler's laugh grow even louder as you shook your head.  You focused on smiling for the picture, resisting 6he urge to just watch Tyler and Bentley the whole time, knowing you’d get to enj9tseeing the picture later.  When Danielle put her phone down, you walked back over to meet Tyler to get Bentley, leaning your body over, getting closer to him than you'd probably ever been with him in full ge8ar.

"You got him?" Tyler asked, his voice louder than you were expecting. 

"Yep," you affirmed, your voice confident and yet Tyler kept his hands his hands around Bentley's waist for a moment too, and then dropped him them suddenly with a gasp like he'd just dropped the baby, your heart skipping a beat even though you knew you had him.

"Tyler," you chided, pulling Bentley into your body but not looking at him quite just yet, giving Tyler a stern look.  "Don't do that."

He laughed, his lips turning up in a smirk, and then you could have sworn he puckered them just a bit as though blowing you an apology kiss before sprinting onto the ice in a way that would have had you landing hard on your backside.

You shook your head, addressing Bentley.  "Did you go on the ice?" You asked enthusiastically, using your hand to fix his onesie where it was riding.  "What did you think? Mommy's not so sure how she feels about it."

"I’m surprised Tyler hasn't bought him skates yet," Danielle said, and you smiled, shifting Bentley onto your hip and then sitting back down.

"I told him there's no point buying him skates until he can walk," you said, holding Bentley in your lap, bending over to get him something to hold out of his diaper bag, not wanting him to get restless too soon. "And then I'll deal with it once Bentley can walk."

"He's totally gonna convince you, you know," Danielle laughed.  

"I know," you sighed because Tyler could smile in a way t h at was so damn charming that he was pretty much the only one who could convince you of putting a bra and real clothes back on after you’d gotten home from work to go out for the evening or give up your paid time off to fly down to visit him for only a day or two. 

"It goes both ways though," Danielle said, and you smiled at that main example of that that you had sitting in your lap.  "He looks at you all googly-eyed all the time, and like finally I don’t have to pretend not to see it like I did all last summer." 

"Okay, he was not looking at me like that all last summer," you clarified, because that you would have noticed.  And maybe he did look at you a little more often but he was just being ... caring.

"Little bit," Danielle said, and now you smiled a bit, her sitting down next to you, flipping the ears on Bentley's toy.  You all jumped though, when there was a large bang on the glass in front of you and you didn't even have to look up to now it was Tyler and that ge was trained on your reaction.  

"Why does he always do that?" You said, laughing when you took in Bentley's startled expression.

"Flirting," Danielle said matter-of-factly.

"Well, he can stop," you said, "he already sweet-talked me into moving in with him."

"Well, stop blushing then," Danielle said, and now you felt the heat in your cheeks.  

You were so screwed.  

"I’m not, it's just a bit warm in here," you tried.

"It's an ice rink," Brooke pointed out, and you bit back a laugh, looking out onto the ice, the reason that you were here.

The baby.

"Do you think he's warm enough?" You asked

  You'd actually put pants on him for the first time in months so he was in layers, but you hadn't actually expected him to go out on the ice.

"Tyler?" Brooke asked, and you had to look over at her to know she was joking.  "Yeah, pretty sure the stuff they have them wear is pretty warm."

"No, Bentley," you said, "I don't care if Tyler's warm enough.  Well, I care, but he can deal with it, he's the one who chose to play this ice sport."

That garnered a laugh from both Brooke and Danielle, Bentley looking around curiously as if he didn't understand what was quite so funny, yet wanted to be in on the joke.

"He doesn't feel cold," Danielle said, taking Bentley's hands in hers, feeling them.  You leaned down anyways, pulling his blanket out so you could tuck it around his feet.

"I was gonna put a footsie pajama on him but Tyler said he'd be too warm," You said, "And he's too old to be going out in his jammies now."

Danielle stifled a laugh, which came out as a snort.  "Wait, he thinks he's a baby stylist now?"

"He gets disappointed if he comes home from the gym and I already have Bentley dressed, " You said.  He was actually good at it, too, picking out coordinated outfits and often pairing them with a hat, which he said was to keep the sun out of Bentley's eyes but you suspected was just for looks.  He'd asked you a couple of times for certain things that you didn't have, making you feel confident 5hat Bentley's wardrobe was going to be growing once you moved to your seasonal home. 

"Whatcha looking at?" You asked Bentley, his eyes gazing around in front of you, the sound of skates against ice surrounding you, and you spotted Tyler immediately, watching his arou3nd the front of the net. You took his Bentley's hands in yours, clapping them together like he was cheering. "Can you say 'Go Dada'"?

As soon as you heard the word come out of your mouth you tipped your head back, letting out an exasperated sigh. 

Sure, it wasn't the first time that you'd done that, but you really, really had to stop doing that.  

Especially when there were people around.  Yet, you couldn’t really do it in your head either as that just made it more real, the word could slip out that much easier.

"I can't believe that I did that again," you said because Brooke and Danielle were looking at you, like maybe you'd maybe that transition and you'd hadn't told anyone yet.

"..he's still not?" Danielle said, her voice soft and yet you understood her words.  

You shrugged and shook your head easily because you’d slipped up a couple times already and he hadn't mentioned it, but he'd referred to himself as Uncle in the car.  "It would be so much easier if he just....stopped acting like a dad," you confessed. You laughed because it was so much easier to stick to the uncle’s word when Tyler was looking to Bentley to play with and was ready to look to you the second he started fussing.

"You know he's committed though, right?" Danielle asked, turning to you.

"Yeah, I know," you said because that was one thing you'd never doubted.

"As he asked you to move in with him," she continued.  "That's a huge deal.  Especially for Tyler."

"What is that supposed to mean?" You laughed.  

"You know how he always talks about girls being 'clingy' if they spend the night," she said, "and then you spent practically every night at his house last summer."

"I did not spend every night at his house," you protested, and Danielle gave you a pointed look.  "Okay, but it wasn't like a thing."

"Yeah, exactly," she said, with satisfaction, as if you just proved her point. "He, like, wanted you as his "friend" there.  Now imagine living together on purpose."

"Yeah," you said dreamily because that was what you were really looking forward to, not the casual keeping things at each other's place that could easily be packed up, but having your lives so intertwined that you no longer knew which things were whose.

"Okay, let's just...stop talking about the move," you said because you'd been so focused on packing and planning that you just wanted to escape for an afternoon. "We're supposed to be here to watch the game, and we have no idea what's going on.."

"Yeah, you're so into him," Danielle teased, her smile matching yours. "Never have you been so interested in hockey."

"Well, I got to teach Bentley what's going on," Tyler's not gonna help me explain when he's out there."

You were glad, though,  that you were able to catch bits and pieces of the game between your chatting and keeping Bentley entertained because you caught Tyler's goal, standing Bentley up on your lap.  "Go "Yay!", you said, dancing him around on your lap until he let out a happy giggle, just catching Tyler's glance towards where you were seated.

"The only one you're gonna have to compete with for Tyler's attention is this guy," Danielle said, her fingers tickling Bentley's belly, causing a delighted squeal.  

"And the dogs," you said, "but I am totally okay with that, that’s exactly what I signed up for."

You were also glad that Bentley was handling the big outing like a champ, especially with him being awake for longer periods during the day now.  But you were definitely grateful for the extra hands, Danielle soaking up as much time with Bentley as she could.

"Wow, so this is what being a WAG is like," Brooke said after you’d given your name so you could go and meet Tyler after.

"Okay, this is no different than before," you said, leading the way through the hallways that were so familiar to you, finding Tyler leaning against the wall, his damp hair curling around his face.

"Hey," he said, pushing himself off the wall when he saw you, hand curving around your waist as he pressed a kiss to your cheek.

"But that's different," Danielle said, and you laughed under your breath.  Tyler raised his eyebrows a bit but didn't ask about it.

"Hey, guys," he said instead, reaching out to brush his finger against Bentley's hand.  "Was he okay ?"

 "Yeah, he stayed awake the whole time, he was watching," you said, meaning that he was looking at everything going on around him, not at just what was happening on the ice.  But Tyler didn't need to know that. 

"Yeah, I saw you cheering, " Tyler said in his baby voice, "while mommy was sleeping."

"It was the one time," you defended, which made Tyler laugh, your smile betraying your false annoyance.  "Are you ever gonna let me forget it?"

Tyler shook his head, a smirk played on his face. "Don't even with the pregnancy thing, I know you can stay awake when you really want to."

"You fall asleep too," you insisted.

"No, I don't," he scoffed, and you nodded.  "When?"

"You slept his whole first night on the hospital," you said, nodding towards Bentley.  

Which was a bit much, because it wasn't like it was his responsibility to wake up to check on the baby, but Tyler just tilted his head, a smile spreading across his face.

"Okay, you're right," he admitted, looking through the doorway to the gym where there was a small crew setting up for the shoot.  "I'll probably be like 20 minutes or something if you guys want to go ahead, I can meet you there."

"We can wait," Danielle answered for you, bouncing Bentley, and you nodded your agreement.  

"K, we're ready for you, Segs," a voice said and you followed the voice to see a tall man, just a little surprised that Tyler was talking to a group of people, yet he seemed to recover quickly.

"This is Biz," Tyler introduced, at the same time as he introduced himself as Paul and you looked at Tyler in confusion, even as you introduced yourself.  "Hockey thing," Tyler clarified.

"Oh," you said, redirecting yourself to the handshake and repeating your name once more, which you were certain you heard Tyler snicker about.   You enjoyed watching Tyler more than you thought you would actually, listening to him talk about his training routine and summer schedule while Danielle walked down the hall with Bentley, a quick glance making you think she searching for your grad class photos to point out to Bentley, even though so many more photos of Tyler alone or with his hockey team existed amongst those walls.  

"So, usually come out here early and train and then get on the ice for a bit, then I drive back to the lake, unwind, do stuff around the house, cook dinner.."

"By yourself?" Paul/Biz asked now, and Tyler's lips ticked up into a mischievous smirk.

"Maybe."

"So are you extending the invite then?"

"I mean, just with the guys I train with," Tyler said, Biz's eyebrows raising.

"Well, I don't think I got the invite."

"Currently still train with," Tyler clarified. 

"Hey, I think I could still jump in here."

Tyler's eyes trained up and down his body as if in evaluation.  "Yeah, you look pretty ripped."

"Oh, not like you," Biz scoffed, gesturing towards Tyler, wheels seeming to turn in his head.  "Any girlfriend?"

You watched Tyler's eyes dart towards your direction and then bounce back as they'd never been there, his lips turning up in a boyish grin, arms crossing over his chest. "Yeah."

You watched as Biz's eyes bulged out of his head in shock, examining Tyler like he wasn't sure if he was telling the truth.  

"No shit," he said, pushing Tyler in the arm, and then somewhat glancing where you were standing with Brooke.  "Is she here?"

Tyler shook his head, running his hand over his chin.  "No," he said, settling his hand on his jaw before he smiled mischievously.  "Is that all about her then, like..?"

"I mean, unless you have something else to say about her then," Biz said, speaking with his hands.

"I mean, she's awesome," Tyler said, "I like her."

And you brushed the confusion of that you felt off until Tyler siled back up next to you, afterward, his voice low like it was just meant for you.  "Hey, I just said you weren't here cause," he nodded towards Bentley, "I just don't want anything to slip by accident."

"Okay," you said easily, thankful your mind didn't go there, but equally appreciative that he'd thought to explain it to you, your eye wandering over the walls behind him.  "It’s weird being back here, eh?"

"Eh?" Tyler teased, "I mean, I've been here pretty much every day this summer but.."

"You know what I mean," you clarified.

Tyler ran his hand over his chin, taking his time in response.  "I don't know, I kind of like where I am now."

You raised your eyebrows, giving him a look to show he was right, and he returned your gaze, looking briefly over his shoulder, and you got the impression he was ready to leave. 

"We're good," Biz said, making his way back over, your head turning as you thought you heard Bentley starting to make fussing noises. "So this the girl then?"  He asked, nodding towards you, and you shot Tyler a look as Biz waited for his response, because Tyler really wasn't as subtle as he thought he was.

"Well.. yeah," he admitted, letting out a breath of laughter like he’d been caught with a secret he'd just been waiting to reveal.

And now Biz was reintroducing himself to you again, and you had a brief glimpse into what it felt like to be Tyler Seguin's girlfriend rather than just you.

"How'd you guys meet?" He asked, and you found yourself deferring to Tyler, like you weren't sure how much he wanted to share.

"We went to school together actually," Tyler said, "high school.  She was smart enough to go to University."

"Really?" Biz asked like he'd expected Tyler to say you met at a party or through Instagram, not that you'd met when Facebook was just becoming a thing.

"Yeah, her picture's up around here somewhere."

"You got any good stories?" Biz asked, turning his attention back to you.

"No, she does not," Tyler answered for you, his arm coming around you, pressing a kiss to your temple,  and you felt yourself relax with his presence.  You turned only when you heard Bentley cry, Tyler allowing you to pull away.  You instinctively reached out to take Bentley from Danielle,  bouncing him as you turned back, trying to settle Bentley's head against your chest, knowing that he must be getting tired.

"Kid too?" Biz asked, and you failed to notice it was a joke,   freezing when you realized that Tyler's hand was settled on your waist, both of you leaning in towards the baby like attentive parents.

Tyler's hand shifted on you as he turned, his hand moving across his face as he spoke.  "It's...kind of a long story.," he said, and Biz looked at you both apologetically, realizing he hadn’t thought through his words before he spoke. But it was okay. "I'll have to tell you about it sometime."  

You were glad that that quelled everything, half-listening to the small talk about the start of the season, putting Bentley into his carrier, not wanting to miss the window for getting him to sleep.  Brooke and Danielle went ahead to get you a table at the restaurant while you and Tyler took your time saying goodbye a little more slowly, moving your body to soothe Bentley, and getting a few comments about how cute he was.

"You okay with him?" Tyler asked once you were making your way out of the arena like he hadn't just been playing hockey.

"Yeah, I don't want to move him and wake him up," you said, keeping on hand on Bentley's back, but using the other to reach for Tyler's hand, Tyler's lips turning up into a soft smile as he intertwined his fingers with yours.

"No, we don't want that," Tyler agreed.

"I barely even held him in there, either," you said with a smile,  loving that everybody loved him as much as you did.

"Oh, look whose Mr. Popular," Tyler teased.

You heard the excited little gasps which meant you turned to see a group of kid's yelling "Tyler Seguin!" like Tyler needed to hear his full name in either to respond.

"Looks like you're Mr. Popular," you said with a smile, and Tyler gave you a slightly sheepish look, you letting him slide away, and he instantly turned his attention to the kids, just as excited to see them as they were to see him.

You leaned down, pressing your lips to Bentley's head, your hand rubbing up and down his back as you listened to Tyler talk excitedly with the kids about what position they played, and what made them love hockey in between pictures and autographs.

"Sorry'" Tyler said when he appeared back at your side, easing into you like he had something to apologize for, and you weren't just spending the entire time loving him.   And you shook your head, smiling, and leaning in to kiss him, Bentley nestled between you.

Because him you’d wait forever for.

[callme--starchild]

I Could Do About Anything

Della was able to see all angles, she was sure of that since she was a child. She couldn't remember if it was a skill that she had always had or that she developed as she grew up, but it was undeniable that it was there. Also, there were other possibilities that the sight of it offered her, and that was to read people, particularly her brother.

Of course, there were non-believers (including Donald himself) who claimed otherwise, and there were others who argued that it was because they were twins that Della was able to know what he thought, and that was partially true. Because while there were times when they found themselves thinking the same thing, the truth was that both also worked individually, and Donald himself was a different world from her.

A world that was commonly incomprehensible to many, including her. Not exactly because of the way her brother speaks, but because of the way he acts. It was not a secret that they were completely opposite, even Della had heard such comments since they were in high school, and she knew that he did as well because of the erratic way in which his behavior changed despite remaining like the typical shy boy from the corner.

Perhaps that was why she had sensed the discomfort of her twin throughout the journey, even if she was a few kilometers from him and even if she turned her back to him, as if it were a gentle breeze brushing her feathers and fiddling with her clothes. Her gaze remained focused on the sky, a path that she recognized on the way and that she recognized back; however, a part of her was focused on the conversations that were going on behind her. Goofy chatted with the children, Max's name popping over and over with such a familiar fondness that it left an emptiness in the pilot's stomach,

(Especially since it reminded her of her brother while talking about the triplets, but it didn't make sense: would Goofy have a child?

Her brother always got on better with him than her, but she had always known him as a loving guy, and surely she would have known of a child before she had taken the Spear of Selene; particularly what will his wife be like? She must be very gallant if she, again, had managed to conquer Goofy of all people.

Which, in turn, made her wonder about Mickey and Minnie, because so far the only clue she has had since her return has been that melon that Donald had with him on the island and—)

on the other hand, and now that she had stopped talking to LP, she could hear her brother having a pleasant conversation with Agent— Beakley. And though Della couldn't figure out what they were talking about, her hands were shaking on the wheel. Because Donald's desire kept tickling her mind.

Specifically, on his reason for asking it.

Not having to worry about the family being captured or lost.

"Della." Her uncle's calloused hands on hers made her blink, and she returned to focus on the flight — much to the extent that Launchpad took care of it to her apparent distraction, though she did let her uncle know that she was listening to him with a gesture, "are ye okay? Ye've bin very… quiet since we got on the plane."

In fact? No. At least, not quite. Lost, lost. Lost. The word poked at her brain incessantly, and it frustrated her.

Della cherished having discussed the Spear's topic with the children, and having her uncle's support despite yelling at each other — it was to be expected, though, with their tempers. However, she acknowledged that she still owed her twin a conversation; not only about the rift that she had formed between them a decade ago, but also about the time when he was the one who was on the moon and her apparent disinterest when he told her through that bizarre melon. Her brother had always been someone who refused to talk, particularly if it involved his feelings, but he had even refused to speak after the invasion and it made her stomach clench.

Lost.

Della knew she was lost even when she returned to her home. From the terrible second impression with her uncle to the relationship with her kids. She had no idea how to be a mother, she had barely read a thing or two even when she was waiting for the triplets because her thoughts were more focused on the world behind that stardust she saw through her window after every adventure, and when she landed on the Moon her priority had been to repair the rocket and return to Earth. Instead, her brother had read all the books on parenting the moment he discovered that she was waiting, and even she could claim that he had been made from other sources that she was still unaware of to date.

Her mind had always been in the clouds and that had led her to be stranded in space without being able to develop her motherhood. But Donald had always been on Earth, being the father and mother of her sons; But having wished Gene for a normal and perfect family, she had a feeling that perhaps it could be something more.

"Yeah, yeah, Uncle Scrooge," she said in a distant voice; though she knew she had been slow to respond, her uncle's concerned expression confirmed it once she returned to concentrating enough on the vast stage in front of her, “but I need to think a few things. Launchpad, would you mind continuing the flight to the mansion?"

Of course, the other driver was an incarnate sunbeam, and he only responded with a thumbs up and a smile without reciting any words or questions before taking the wheel again.

But no matter which direction her mind took, they all came to the same conclusion: she should speak to Donald soon.

It was with that thought in mind that she headed for the houseboat, feeling her shoulders grow heavier as she approached. The triplets and Webby were watching TV, and she had literally seen Beakley in the kitchen not long ago. Scrooge had retired to his office with Isabella's journal and Duckworth was away, doing ghost things; ergo, there was no one who could interrupt her during her conversation with her self-proclaimed best friend, but that did little to relax her and, otherwise, made her tenser. Not just because it wasn't a secret that Donald was more emotional, the lamp incident had proved it to her, but because with their infamous temperaments it was a lousy combination in case the situation got out of control, what if …?

When she was least aware of it, her metal foot stepped onto the hatch that gave her access to the boat. And even though she knew it was more sensible to go to the door and knock, especially remembering how strict her brother had been about his privacy from their distant adolescence — that, on second thought, it made no sense when it came to Donald because: what could he hide from everyone that required a dress code that never existed? —, the truth was that she was very impatient to discuss this issue to walk the deck only to go to the bow and also wait to be attended.

No. If she was going to do this she was going to do it now, and with that conviction, she raised the hatch.

"Donald, listen. I know I'm coming unannounced, but you and I have to…" Down the stairs, her words died in her throat when she saw the aforementioned accompanied by… a strange-looking duck, who had also become tense at her presence. They appeared to be looking at a framed photo, but the abrupt way in which they parted, as if they had been caught doing something wrong, did not go unnoticed.

This puzzled Della much more than expected, perhaps due to the fact that...

"Dumbella! I told you to knock.” Donald was really calm, when he used to be on the alert for a visit from any stranger. If that in itself was strange, he just looked a bit annoyed at her sudden entrance.

"Don't worry, D," however, his features seemed to relax when said stranger addressed him, approaching to murmur something that caused him to stifle a laugh. That definitely didn't twist something in his stomach.

Her brother looked relaxed, off guard, more cheerful than she could remember, and it took the pilot out of focus on the reasons that brought her to the houseboat in the first place. Sure, she remembered seeing him like this during junior high and high school with Mickey and Goofy, or in college with José and Panchito; but right now there was something in his gaze that she was unable to define.

Particularly, there was the fact that her brother used to chat about the antics he did with his friends all the time, and the visits did not wait when they were in the mansion on an almost daily basis, not to mention the multiple sleepovers that her little brother did per week.

In one way or another, they had adopted a small place under their roof, allowing her to know and grow fond of them, even if they got on better with her twin.

But this guy? She didn't recall Donald mentioning an outrageously dressed mallard, not even in a slip; there were no antecedents, there were no visits. Still, his calm in the face of this unfamiliar new face tickled the back of her neck, and she didn't like it.

"Er…" She cleared his throat, and it seemed that they too had been pigeonholed into their little bubble. There was also the look that this guy gave her at all times, as if he was watching her and reproaching her for some reason she did not know. "Donnie? Don't think I'm planned to be rude, but who is he?"

Having to fight her willpower not to point him out because Donald would scold her for the rudeness, she instead pointed her eyes at him, and the frown of her strange companion didn't soften - at least, not with her. That did less to reassure her, especially considering the way her brother's eyebrow arched in confusion, at least until he met his partner's gaze and his face lit up in an unusual way, and it lit a small sparkle in the pilot's gaze.

"Oh, where are my manners?" he exclaimed with a small blush blurring the feathers of his cheeks, and her desire to make fun of him increased but she was held back when she noticed that Donald was really sorry and her conversation with him continued in a pendulum.

"Easy, Ol-Don," he cleared his throat, letting his hand rest on the sailor's shoulder for a second, though of course, it would be enough for him to relax, before addressing her again with a serious face, all traces of complicity that he seems to have with her twin fading away.

And judging by the way his eyes widened, he noticed it too.

"Uno Ducklair, Donald's old friend. Nice to meet you.” His voice had certainly turned strict, enveloping in a dark aura that mystified Della as he shook her hand, with a smile that might look real if not for her keen eyesight.

She wasn't sure if the other duck in the residence would have noticed, but it seemed to be eyeing the blissful Uno with an indecipherable expression. Most disconcerting was the way he tried to hide his outstretched arm from her brother, as if he were trying to protect him.

But from who?

"Erm, I'm... Della Duck, Donald's sister. I'm sorry for the… intrusion, but I didn't know my brother was expecting visits" and she was really sorry, considering they both seemed to be in the middle of a chat when she arrived "nice to meet you."

Before shaking her hand with the mallard's, she sighing aloud at the grasp.

"Wow, you really have a strong hand, huh?" Laughing nervously, she heard her brother reproach her in the background.

But Uno knew.

Uno knew he wouldn't find himself in the Ducklair Tower again until years later as Odin Eidolon, when Donald and his adventures as Paperinik, as well as the friends and enemies they had made along the way, were nothing more than a vague memory in the abandoned lair. However, there he was: the tower reviving while he was reactivated and his data was transferred, the memories that he had kept hidden from his creator becoming overwhelming during the moments in which he became accustomed again to the environment that was the hiding place that once witnessed the tommyrot of two partners who saved the city and saw Anxieties in their spare time.

Uno knew that the first image in his database after that memorabilia was Donald's face, cheerful and full of life, always telling bad jokes as he faced Evronians and the misadventures of daily life. The glint in his gaze as he thought of the future with his nibling, who would later become nephews. And Uno knew that he should appreciate that look again, being almost instantaneously that he looked for his old fellow in the system while his arms were in charge of giving the last details to the body that had begun with so much care before being deactivated.

He had missed him, he had to confess. He was not ignorant that many of the machines of the time of his partner of crime were incapable of feeling any emotion; but after meeting Lyla and himself learning about them after his friend, that stereotype had been erased from his data or, in Donald's words, thrown out the window.

As he polished the finishing touches to what would be the new recipient of his data, he hadn't gone unnoticed the adding of some Gizmoduck and Darkwing Duck as saviors of the city. And though he found the absence of Paperinik alarming, that concern was forgotten the second he found the whereabouts of said vigilante.

In just a few minutes, an Artificial Intelligence had given way to an android that was heading to the McDuck Manor. That, while he took in every detail, feel, and color that the city was from a new perspective.

But as an AI, Uno's data was collected, and he was able to remember.

And he remembered every afternoon they watched every episode of Anxieties, new or old, while they both tried to disguise the effect that Saxony Starbright had on them and made a few comments about the plots and absurd twists that the writers made even if they used to be on the edge of the seat at such absurd twists like the hypocrites that they were.

He remembered every mission he did alongside Paperinik, being his eyes and ears in the tower as the hero took care of the casual villains and the Evronians in his umpteenth futile attempt to increase his army, as both would joke about it later while he checked the little scrapes and bruises between his feathers.

But he also remembered those wounds that were not generated by the occupational hazards, those occasions when Donald had to work harder and not smarter due to the adventures he faced every day in the company of his sister and his uncle. Those moments when he limped into the secret apartment, refusing to be checked to retire to put on the suit of his second job despite the reprimands he gave while Donald was dressing or when the situation was resolved, when the hero was too mentally and physically exhausted to fight the worrying intelligence.

When Donald was on the brink of hypothermia from some magical ice he was on.

When he came in exhaling a cocoa scent and trailing bright-colored plumage, his sensors detecting sensitive peck marks under his own feather coat, particularly in the cranial area.

Or each time he came in with more and more scars, his clothes shattered, bald spots, and even obvious bruises. Many times because of some crazy adventure, other times because he fought someone at school, the character of his partner added to the physical ability that he possessed from his self-induced training.

When he arrived depressed due to an argument with family members, because he refused to go out with them to the next hidden temple, because of his bad luck or even his cousin's getting in the way of each meeting, or because he was still not understood metaphorically and literally by his family or a third party.

For his family.

For his family.

For his family.

Uno did not know how, but until he discovered that Della was waiting even before Donald, the occasions in which he had seen him truly smile, at least with his family, could be easily counted and that because he had collected them, and on the other hand he really stood out when he was with friends, including him.

He really didn't want to feel some things unless they involved Donald, and while this technically involved his partner, he also knew the fondness he had for his family, so his confusion at his reaction was not only valid, but justifiable.

"Uno?" He blinked, and they knew what a relief it was for the sailor to mutter that name again even if there were no words in between, and even blinking out of his thoughts was so strange and wonderful to him, "Is everything okay?"

It was then that he recognized how nervous Della was in front of him, and tried not to feel joy at it because this was his best friend's sister and while he wanted her to fear and more, he did not want to get into an argument with Donald after a decade of estrangement and a lot of time to recover.

"Yes, yes, my apologies," and though he wasn't really sorry, it was gratifying to see Della tense enough because that was the least he feared every time Donald had to leave Duckburg with them. "I'm not that used to physical contact."

And well, that wasn't entirely a lie. Donald has been the one who has gotten him used to it, and that because he used to be very affectionate back in the tower, and getting used to the body was also new to him, but he did not know how much he had changed in recent years if the first thing he had done when he saw him was to keep clung.

But Della was watching them warily, and somehow both knew what the next question would be before it exited the pilot's peak:

"And how did you meet?"

"During the time you were in flight school," Donald began almost instantly, finally intervening between his sister and Uno even if he tried his best not to make it weirder than it already was, "I was looking for a part-time job and coincidentally Uncle Scrooge had just bought the Ducklair Tower so I started working there. Uno is... one of the sons of Everett Ducklair, the previous owner of the tower" Donald had to accept that his lying skills had rusted over the years — after raising the triplets on honesty, but the least he could do and he was grateful for was dancing around the truth because he had become the custodian of the Tower while his sister soared through the skies in search of her pilot's license, as uncomfortable as it was for him to even mention the name of his old friend's master's name.

But he also didn't want to know her reaction to knowing how involved he was with artificial intelligences, aliens, droids, and time travels. Especially when it was all over and it had been a lot to him at the time.

"Hmm, well Uncle Scrooge said you changed a lot while I was in school, that you had become more sensitive or something, and more alert," she commented out of nowhere and with a thoughtful expression, and Donald blinked after hearing someone snort, rolling his eyes after recognizing Uno's giggle even though a smile was visible on the edge of his beak, because if he had heard that several times during his time as a janitor and superhero, many times for teasing or bothering him, the truth was that he missed the teasing a lot — coming from his partner — because, unlike the ones he had heard on multiple occasions, they were not malicious. Besides the fact that facing bad boys had indeed helped his temper during his studies "it must have been for that. I guess I must thank you… Uno."

Still, neither of them missed the discomfort on Della's face, or the way she fiddled with her scarf, and her smile became strained as she spoke more.

Maybe it was because of the fact that Donald had secret friends? Because of the looks Uno gave her behind the back of his brother? Was it some older sister instinct that hadn't been around since high school coming to life and yelling at her to protect her brother from Uno at all costs?

And that was the hardest part, because Donald didn't look at all overwhelmed or alert by the mallard's presence. Indeed, she felt her twin relaxed in a way that only happened when he was with José and Panchito, and that had been while they were in college.

"I was just telling Uno to introduce him to the rest of the family, that you came in was a mere coincidence," Donald commented, with a smile so bright it puzzled Della, when was the last time you saw him so happy about something that surrounded him?

But she couldn't question it too much when Donald's face turned strange, blinking as his expression changed.

"What brings you here anyway? Not that it bothers me!" He clarified quickly, grinning nervously, and Della could have sworn the third duck's face turned warmer, and that was something she could share: she had also missed seeing Donald turn into the same nervous wreck as to when they were young adults. The duck cleared his throat and crossed both arms behind his back, “it's just, well, the only times you come unannounced are when you can't sleep. Now that I think about it, you seemed to want to tell me something… is everything okay?"

As he looked thoughtfully, he acknowledged that sooner or later he would have to talk to his sister about his desire and what happened next was more than evident. However, he did not expect it to happen so soon, and Donald preferred to wait once the situation with Uno was over and he had had enough time to think about what to say to her.

Unconsciously, that little consideration from the sailor had been enough for Della to remember what had dragged her into the boat in the first place, it can't be that she has forgotten so quickly!

However, the pilot couldn't help but wonder if now was the right time, especially seeing how calm it was in comparison to the cave. Actually, it was as if he had never had a breakdown in the first place.

She wanted to preserve that for a few more moments. Furthermore, she would never have known how to start that conversation even if she could chat with her brother at the time.

"It's not that important, it can wait." She shrugged, maintaining a serene expression that she now felt more sincere. If Donald noticed that tiny detail, he didn't say anything. "Don't you mind if I keep you company to the mansion? If anyone had the audacity to put up with my brother's plover head, it's worth knowing."

She olympically ignored her twin's reproach in favor of sneering at him, feeling satisfied when the mallard giggled despite the faint reddish tinge in the sailor's feathers.

"I don't see why not," Uno commented. And even though he still looked relatively tense, his shoulders looked more relaxed when he side hugged Donald. Della could not gloat over that small victory given the strange glint in Uno's eyes. It was a bit inhuman, though the pilot didn't want to jump to baseless conclusions, but they seemed to be on the alert, "but I'd rather wait: the plover head was thinking of wait and respond with the whole family present, he doesn't want to leave anything unsolved."

Unlike her, there seemed to be an iota of homesickness when he used the same nickname to poke fun at Donald, and though he rolled his eyes this time, an exhausted smile took place.

Della flinched when Donald suddenly raised his voice, his voice raspier with the effort.

"Family, can you come over for a second?!" Even Uno smiled, wincing at the future state of the sailor's throat. "I want you to meet someone!"

[masterjedilenawrites]

Blueberries and Cowboys: Chapter 2

A choose-your-own-adventure style fic. First, 2 platonic chapters for set-up/build-up. And then, the story will split into 2 paths depending on your romantic pairing preference: You and Thrawn, or You and Eli.

Chapter Masterlist

Chapter 2: The Plan

Pairing: None...yet...

Chapter Warnings: Mentions of bullying

Length: 2k

AO3 Link (In case you like it better over there, it’s okay, no judgement)

The rest of the week saw the three of you using every bit of free time outside your classes and studies to gather information for Thrawn to build a solid plan.

Eli tailed his pesky classmate Arden everywhere, even skipping a class one day to break into his dorm, trying to learn anything about the guy that could be useful to get him involved in the plot. Thrawn analyzed the simulation software and protocols that would be used to administer the tests, mapping out every possible way Commander Burdick could hijack it. And you were the one spying on the Burdick himself. Since the commander didn't seem too interested in your grades, you were able to shadow him without suspicion, and had been able to slip a bug into his offices to eavesdrop on any potential conversations about his plans for sabotage.

Your classmates and the staff were none the wiser. That was the advantage of being social outcasts. Half of them avoided you all like the plague, and the other half already thought you were weird people doing weird things. So it wasn't long before you'd all gotten enough intel to work with.

It was late in the evening at the end of the week. You found yourself in Thrawn and Eli's shared dorm, which looked identical to your own in the opposite wing, because the Empire couldn't bother with things like individuality or comfort. Eli sat on the edge of his top bunk, his legs swinging casually, and his coat unbuttoned to reveal a wrinkled undershirt you knew he hadn't bothered to wash all week. Thrawn paced about in the middle of the room, his long strides only allowing him about four good steps before he had to turn around. He still had his uniform on, boots and badges and all.

You leaned against the railing of the bed, watching Thrawn as he went back and forth. Sometimes he sat still when he was scheming, with his fingers steepled and his gaze seemingly reaching into some unknown dimension beyond your comprehension. That usually happened when he was running through variables that didn't concern you, at least from his perspective. You and Eli had accepted long ago there would always be parts of his plans he would never share with you. He was kind of a control freak like that.

But tonight, he seemed to be more welcoming of collaboration, hence his steady rhythm of pacing in front of you.

"Only one variable remains, as I see it," he was saying. "We understand how the commander will manipulate the system to cause a redundancy in the simulation, thus rendering the test impossible to finish successfully."

You and Eli shared a glance; the only person who truly understood how that was going to happen was Thrawn. He'd tried explaining numerous times but when it came to codes and tech, the two of you weren't able to fully keep up.

"We also know through your investigating," Thrawn motioned to you with what you thought was an impressed look, causing you to feel a little pride, "that the commander plans to only sabotage my test, believing it will be too suspicious if Eli also fails. He will also manipulate his false code to originate from the computer of his former lover Eva Carroway, who currently works in HR. So if an investigation does ensue, it will be traced to her and not him."

You and Eli chuckled under your breaths. It had been a little amusing when you'd discovered Commander Burdick was using this plan to not only undermine Thrawn, but also get revenge on his ex-girlfriend. But even more hilarious was how awkward Thrawn treated the subject. He had been quite perplexed to learn people could be so vindictive after a break-up. And any time he explained that detail of the plan, like he was doing now, he hesitated over his word choice. You couldn't tell if he only pretended to be confused about romantic relations, or if that was truly an area he found himself lost in.

If Thrawn noticed your snickering, he didn't respond to it, only continued to recap the plan. "We have also determined how we will expose the altered code naturally, so it does not cast suspicion on us... What was the word you used?"

"Backfire," said Eli.

"Yes. It would not due to have anyone suspect that we altered the test ourselves, or to have our concerns disregarded altogether. Thus, arranging for the maintenance crew to get a mild case of food poisoning so their performance checks are postponed to occur right before the tests will take care of that variable. At the least, they will fix the altered code and I will take the test as normal. At the most, they will report it and the commander faces expulsion."

"So..." said Eli through a yawn as he stretched. "What's left to work out, then?"

Now it was time for you and Thrawn to share a look.

"Were you not interested in involving your classmate, Arden Fey?" asked Thrawn in his soft, contemplative voice.

Eli shrugged. "Yeah. But Burdick's already got his scapegoat, his ex. So it'll be easier to keep him out of it. Whatever."

You could tell he was trying to be nonchalant. But just this morning, he had spent the entire walk between classes ranting about some new insults Arden had come up with, and how badly he wanted to show the guy up once and for all. You knew your friend wasn't feeling "whatever" about it.

"It's not a matter of ease or difficulty," Thrawn stated plainly. He had stopped pacing and was standing with hands behind his back, highlighting the broadness of his shoulders and the height of his stance. His presence seemed to fill up the whole room, and not for the first time, you were glad to be his friend and not his enemy.

"Yeah," you added in encouragement. "We just have to get creative. Find a way to make Arden a more appealing scapegoat than Burdick's ex. In fact...."

You trailed off as an idea occurred to you. You darted out of the room, surely leaving your two friends perplexed, but you would only be a second. You sprinted down the corridor toward the lifts, where a bulletin hung against the wall with fliers and pamphlets. One notice was a bit larger than the others, a promotion of an upcoming gala event to celebrate the Academy's anniversary. You ripped it off and went racing back to the boys' dorm room.

Eli had come down from the bunk and held a concerned look, probably prepared to follow you if you hadn't returned so quickly. Thrawn was still standing composed, but there was a curiosity in his eyes that made you smile.

You held up the poster in front of your chest. "What do you think the likelihood is of us playing successful matchmakers this week?"

Thrawn understood your idea almost immediately, looking down on you with a pleased smirk. It made you flush a little, to know the Chiss was impressed. You rarely had a chance to contribute good ideas when his mind worked so much faster than yours.

Eli caught on next, and he started to grin, the happiest you'd seen him in a while. His smile was infectious and you grinned back. Happy looked good on him.

"We know Eva's not shy with younger guys," you explained. "Before Burdick, she was fooling around with some intern in the med bay."

"And Arden's vain enough," added Eli. "If he thinks anyone's interested, he'll go for 'em."

"So we get him to ask her to the gala as his date...." you said.

"Burdick sees the two of them together...." said Eli.

"And realizes he can get back at his lover in another way, by pinning the sabotage on another student...." joined Thrawn.

The three of you stood together, proud and satisfied that yet another plan had finally worked out. It was almost worth the stressful studying and petty bullying and all the other unpleasant things you had to endure at this god-forsaken school, just to have fun moments like this with trusted friends.

"We should attend this gala as well," Thrawn said eventually, holding out a hand for the poster. He inspected it thoughtfully. "It is only a few days before the tests, so I hadn't planned to pay it any mind. But now...."

"Yeah, we should make sure Burdick's as jealous as we want 'im," nodded Eli.

You were secretly pleased. The plan was already a win-win, but now you would be able to go to the event yourself, too. You hadn't mentioned your desire to go to either of them before, figuring they weren't interested and not wanting to sound silly if you suggested it. But you did love dancing, and it was so very rare you got a chance to wear something other than your Imperial uniform.

"It's a dance," you noted, in case they couldn't tell by the details on the poster. "We'll need to go in pairs."

"I suppose it would make the most sense for you and Eli to go together," said Thrawn quietly.

You looked between the two, realizing both of them were flushed slightly. Eli's cheeks were dotted with pink, standing out amongst his dark brown features, while Thrawn had more of a purple tint to his face now, a color you'd never seen there before. You could feel yourself growing warm and uncomfortable as well. It was only a dance... only a way for you to enact a much more important plan... but it was the first time your trio had had to engage in anything other than platonic friendship. The balance of your group seemed to be shifting ever so slightly in this moment, and you had no way of knowing if it was for good or ill.

You cleared your throat, pushing away any feelings that might have been brewing in your chest, and instead calling focus back to the mission at hand.

"Actually, I think I'd better go with Thrawn. Whoever doesn't go with me would have to find their own date, and no offense Thrawn, but I think Eli has the better chance of asking someone else."

You hoped they hadn't noticed how hollow your voice sounded, how hard you were trying to keep yourself emotionless.

Eli was pinker than ever. "Uh, I highly doubt that..."

"You're not completely hated around here, you know," you said quickly. "Definitely not with the girls. You're not bad looking, you can be charming if you try, and you're... you know, human." You glanced at Thrawn and added again quietly, "No offense."

Thrawn shook his head. His color and demeanor had already slipped back into his usual neutral self. "No, I agree. Those are the dynamics of our peers and we must work with it. I will take you to the gala, Eli will find his own date, and all three of us will push Arden and Eva together as well. It's a good plan."

You all nodded in agreement. But there was a knot in your stomach, a nervousness you didn't quite understand. You cared very much for both Thrawn and Eli. They were your best friends, your only friends. As a group, you were bonded by your ostracism, protecting and supporting each other on your journey out of this hell-hole.

And separately, you had something special with each, too. You and Eli came from similar backgrounds, and had the same need to disconnect from your surroundings and just have a bit of fun every once in a while. The two of you had spent many late nights together, either hopping between bars, exploring the city, making each other laugh uncontrollably, or quietly sharing the honest thoughts you both buried far too deeply inside. Some nights you'd done all of the above, and returned to your dorm feeling both exhausted and renewed.

But Eli didn't always appreciate the finer things in life, and that's where you connected with Thrawn. He wasn't necessarily an optimist, but he had this way of noticing the beauty that existed everywhere around you, even in the most simple or mundane of moments. Everything had the potential to be interesting. His calm but strong presence had kept you grounded and sane throughout your studies here so far. Sometimes you would talk, other times you would simply be in the same space. And either way, you felt better about life.

You didn't exactly want your relationship with them to change. But you couldn't help but feel this gala would do just that....

Next Chapter: The Preparation >

Blueberry Path | Thrawn x reader

Cowboy Path | Eli x reader

[readyplayerhobi]

Flower | 38

; Hoseok x Reader

; Genre: Fluff, slight angst

; Word Count: 4.7k

; Warnings: Slight mentions of body insecurity/self-hatred

; Synopsis: You finally decide to take a dip into the world of online dating and find the Flower dating app. One of the top matches for you proves to be a guy who looks to be your complete opposite; tattooed, pierced, a metalhead and oh…incredibly handsome. What happens when you throw caution to the wind and reach out to him?

; A/N: Only two more chapters after this one! I apologise if this isn’t good or anything...I wrote it all today as I wanted to make sure I keep hitting one a week for you! This should mean that Flower should officially end in two weeks! 😢 it’s sad to think about but I hope you’ve all enjoyed the journey with me too! Also...once you’ve read the chapter then you might want to look at this link....it’s an important link

; Flower Masterpost

-

The dress shop you’d chosen for today was exactly how you’d imagine a wedding dress shop to look inside. The elegant interior design gave everything an expensive appearance; creams and golds and muted greens tastefully blended throughout the furniture and the walls. While you knew that wedding dresses weren’t cheap anyway, the whole atmosphere of the shop made it all appear so much more costly.

You had no real idea of how you were meant to find a wedding dress, and your first suggestion of just ordering one offline had almost given Chungha and Soyeon a heart attack. Even Hoseok had looked at you a little funny when you’d mentioned it, making you realise quickly that you’d made a bad decision.

Just ordering one from the internet wasn’t a good choice because you likely wouldn’t get the dress you imagined. Plus, Chungha had pointed out that you had no idea whether you’d even like the dress in person or whether it would look good on you.

That had been all you needed to realise that going to a store would be the best option. You were just a little nervous about it, worrying that they might not even have wedding dresses that would fit you or something. Or that you’d look too fat in front of everyone or you’d rip a dress accidentally.

Despite the reassurance your best friends had given you, you were still convinced that you weren’t going to find a dress you liked. Maybe a dress that didn’t look half-bad as long as you didn’t look in a mirror or any photographs in the future. You may have come a long way in terms of self-acceptance, but you still had your moments of doubt and self-hatred.

Formal events were most definitely one of them. The knowledge that your wedding was supposed to be the one time that you would look perfect and be the centre of attention was horrifying for two reasons. One, you were terrified that you’d just end up highlighting the fat on your stomach or your arms and two, you still hated being the centre of attention.

Already you’d been discussing with your therapist about this, pointing out that you were dreading your wedding day instead of being excited. Hoseok was understanding of it as well and was trying to help you overcome the issues and instead get you hyped up for it, but the knowledge that everyone would be focused on you was nauseating.

How did people enjoy it?

Still, you’d searched around for dress shops that looked to be friendly and held the kind of styles that you’d be most interested in before finding the best looking one. You knew there was every chance you might not find a dress you liked here so you also had a list of backup stores to visit at a later date.

For today though, you had your mom, Hoseok’s mom and your best friends here with you. All the people who would give you the right advice about what dress to pick. You’d told them all to be honest as the last thing you wanted was for them to try and cheer you up by lying.

At the moment, you were sitting on one of the couches that were set around the small room as you waited for the assistant to come back. The store had three rooms that were used for bridal parties to try on dresses and pick their favourites, away from anyone else who might happen to wander by. You’d like the privacy it offered which had been another factor in choosing them.

Before attending, you’d specified the types of dresses that you’d prefer to try on and the colour schemes. Upon arrival, she’d looked over your body with a critical eye that had made you feel uncomfortable before disappearing out of the door once more. As she had a lot of experience in helping brides find the perfect dress, she was now weeding out the dresses that she knew for a fact wouldn’t suit you.

Maybe someone else wouldn’t like that, but you appreciated the extra effort. Plus, you knew that you could always ask to see them if you didn’t find any from the dresses that had been specifically picked out for you to try today. You figured that you’d let her get on with it though. She had way more experience than you did in this area.

You were nervous though, your leg bouncing quickly while your fingers were tapping at your jean-clad thigh. Everyone else just seemed to be excited but the large mirror on one end of the room filled you with dread. What if you looked fat and ugly in every dress? You wanted to look perfect but you weren’t unrealistic. There was only so much to do with an average base, after all.

Unsurprisingly, your mom notices your quiet and shy demeanour. Not that you were naturally outgoing anyway, but mom’s notice these things. 

Reaching over from where she’s sat next to you, her hand firmly takes your own and presses it against your leg, stopping it from jerking. Glancing over to her, she gives you a soft smile before running her fingers along your cheek in a gentle movement.

“What’s wrong? Worried?” Nodding self-consciously, you try to avoid her gaze as you feel heat spread through your body. Even your fingers tingle with embarrassment, not wanting to cause a scene in front of everyone.

“Aren’t I supposed to be worried?” 

“No, you’re supposed to be excited. But don’t think about what you’re supposed to be. Just enjoy the moment and have fun dressing up!” She encourages you, giving you a bright smile while squeezing your hand. It attracts Soyeon’s attention from your other side, causing her to stop chatting with Chungha and Hoseok’s mom on the opposite couch.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Now it’s her turn to try and comfort you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder before hugging you tightly. It causes you to smile softly before looking at her, shrugging underneath her embrace.

“Nothing. I’m just...you know me. If there’s one thing I can stress over then I will.” You can almost hear the audible sigh in the room. There’s no doubt that it’s not meant maliciously, but you know that everyone was probably hoping that you’d be able to enjoy today and get excited. Instead, you’ve just made it clear that they have damage control to do.

“What are you stressing over? Not finding the right dress today? The wedding itself? The cost?” The questions are peppered at you from your mom and each one is almost right. As excited as you were to get married to Hoseok, you’d never been one of those girls who fantasize about a wedding. As such, you’d never particularly cared to pay attention to what weddings require.

What Hoseok and you had discovered over the last few months was that weddings required a lot of money and a lot of different people involved. The florist, the venue, the interior design of the room, invite makers, catering, suit makers, wedding dressmakers and so much more. It was a headache to think about and you’d tried to get everything sorted as quickly as you could and for something that wasn’t going to bankrupt you both.

Despite that, you were still looking forward to finally getting to marry Hoseok. It was just the whole process getting there that was causing you anxiety. You wanted to look your best for him. Blow his socks off and all that jazz.

“Yes and no. It’s stupid,” Your voice lowers, almost to a whine. “You’ll think I’m being stupid.”

“Hey...no. No, we won’t. You know we won’t, we never have.” That comes from Chungha and you can see that she’d like to be part of the ‘physically comforting’ crew. But there’s not enough space for her, so she’s relegated to just talking to you from over the glass coffee table between both couches. There’s a fresh bouquet in a pretty vase on the tabletop alongside copies of wedding magazines scattered along the surface.

A quick, unsure glance takes in Hoseok’s mom and you feel even more anxious as you wonder whether she’s judging you. Is she unhappy at what she sees? Uncertain whether or not she wants her son to marry you after getting to witness firsthand your anxiety and fears? You know that she knows about that stuff. Hoseok had told her over the years with your permission, but it was another thing entirely to see it in person.

There’s no judgement in her eyes though and it settles you a little. Instead, there’s concern, a frown on her forehead as she leans forward and watches you closely.

Swallowing, you sigh before finally deciding to just be honest with them. You needed their support right now and you wanted to be excited about picking a dress. This was going to be the dress that you’d remember forever. The one that you hoped would make Hoseok cry when he saw you.

“I just am worried. That...you know...I won’t look good. In my dress. Or any dress. Or that I’ll look fat. Like it’ll highlight my fat bits or something. I know he’s going to look gorgeous because he’s always beautiful and a suit is just going to make him stunning. So I’m afraid that I won’t look good next to him.” The little ball of anxiety in your stomach is growing bigger as you speak, paralysing your chest and making it a little harder to breathe as you imagine all the ways a dress could highlight your bad points.

Your mom can tell, purely, by the way your movements beneath her hand start to get a little more forceful as you try to fidget. She presses down a little harder, forcing you to stop and look at her. There’s so much love in her eyes, but you also see the concern and upset.

“You’re going to look beautiful, sweetheart. You know why? Because you’re already beautiful! Everyone will be in awe of you, thinking you’re the prettiest girl in the room on the day and that’ll be because you will be. Because you are.” She finishes, squeezing your hand while a firm smile is pressed onto her face.

“She’s right,” Hoseok’s mom interrupts, causing you to look over and see that she has her supportive smile. “You’re going to look amazing. And as someone who knows my son pretty well, I have every confidence that he’s going to cry like a baby when he sees you. Hoseok thinks you’re the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen. You in a wedding dress is just going to be the cherry on top.”

That makes tears fill your eyes as your breath catches. Pulling your hand away from your mom’s grasp, you wipe at them daintily before sniffing. You’d carefully applied makeup this morning in a possible replica of what you might want your wedding makeup to look like. Smoky eyes and a neutral lip with a subtle natural look to your face. The actual makeup would be more in-depth but you figured this would be enough to get an idea with the dress included.

Before you can say anything in response to her, the door opens up again and a moveable clothing rail is rolled inside. It’s loaded with beautiful dresses, all carefully wrapped up in plastic or paper to keep them pristine for their potential bride to try on. The sight of them makes your stomach knot up in both anticipation and fear.

Your assistant, Fatima, closes the door behind her before giving you that brilliant white smile, full of customer service as she gestures to the dresses.

“Okay, so I’ve kept almost all the ballgown style dresses. I know you said that was your ideal silhouette and I’ve picked out all the ones in ivory for you. There’s only one or two that are shoulderless. I know you said you weren’t fond of that but there are some really pretty ones that I think would work with your body. Minimal lace as well though there’s one or two with some nice designs on them.” Standing, you head over to the rail and gently finger through the dresses with wide eyes.

There were so many of them.

As if she could hear your thoughts, Fatima speaks again. “You don’t have to try them all on if you don’t want to. If you find the dress then just let me know! Don’t force yourself if you’ve fallen in love with one, okay?” 

Nodding slowly, you look over at everyone else with raised brows. Understanding the silent question, almost everyone laughs and gestures to the dresses with excitement.

“Oh my god! Get trying!” Feeling shy, you carefully take the first dress off the hook before disappearing into the en-suite changing room. Taking your clothes off and carefully folding them onto the little seat in the room, you let Fatima in once more to help you slip the dress on. She hurries around you, adjusting bits of the dress and smoothing out areas before bringing you back out into the main room.

This one is pretty plain and simple with a ballgown style that reaches down to the floor in gentle swathes of soft, ivory fabric. The bodice consists of what seem to be two pieces of the same fabric, carefully designed so the right side slips underneath the left side in a criss-cross over your chest. It gives you a classic neckline that only gives the slightest hint of cleavage and helps to enhance your breasts while the straps rest on the very edges of your shoulders.

You love the style and overall design of it, appreciating that the shoulder straps are thick and the sweeping bodice manages to highlight the good parts of your body. For a moment, you wonder if you’d managed to find the dress on your first try, but turning around and examining it from all angles you soon realise that you haven’t quite got it yet.

Turning to the others, they all tilt their heads in various directions and make contemplative noises. Slowly, you spin around for them to get a good idea of the whole dress before you look at yourself once more in the mirror. Running your fingers down the luxurious cavenza, you acknowledge that it’s a beautiful dress.

But it’s not yours.

“I don’t think this is the one,” You say. “I think it’s too simple?”

Raising a brow, you look at the girls to get their opinion. They hum for another moment before nodding agreement with you.

“It looks beautiful but you’re right. It’s not quite...right. A little too boring. You look amazing though.” Smiling shyly, you turn to look at the mirror once more with a little hesitation.

You’d been so worried that a dress might just make all of your more unsightly bits even more obvious than normal such as the belly you could never seem to get rid of or your thick hips and butt. Thankfully though, the silhouette style you’d decided to try seemed to be doing a great job of disguising all those bits.

The only thing that you weren’t quite happy about was your upper arms, the fat there a little too much for your liking. Frowning, you take a deep breath and try to ignore it before looking at Fatima.

“Not this one. Can I try the next?” She nods eagerly before gesturing for you to re-enter the dressing room.

The next hour carries on like that with you trying on dress after dress and finding a reason to dislike every single one. It begins to get a little disheartening and you worry if you’re not going to be able to find the right dress. What if it didn’t exist or something? Wasn’t there supposed to be some magical moment when you’d put on a dress and it’d just feel right?

Like a sign from the heavens that you’d found the One?

Shaking your head at the mirror in exasperation, you turn back into the dressing room and begin to peel off the dress you’d been trying. This one had been an instant dislike with the train being far too long and the bodice making your body look particularly frumpy. You were more than happy to get out of it.

As Fatima helps you, undoing the laces at the back and making sure the dress comes off without any tearing, you give her an apologetic smile. “I’m so sorry. I hope I’m not wasting your time.”

She laughs at that, shaking her head as she carefully places the dress back into its protective wrap and hangs it up. Taking the next dress off the rail, she pulls it out of its wrap and turns to you with the same happy expression on her face.

“It’s okay, honestly! It’s what I get paid to do. Besides, it’s all a process. You wouldn’t believe how many brides have to go through multiple appointments before we can find the right one for them. Don’t stress yourself if it’s taking a bit longer than you might have hoped for. It just means that the right one for you is still out there! And trust me, you’re a lovely bride compared to some I’ve dealt with.” Fatima says, smirking before gesturing for you to spin around.

Wincing slightly, you wonder how many bridezillas she’s had to put up with over the years. You’d think it was a sexist term but you’d certainly read enough Reddit to know that it was, unfortunately, true for a sadly large number of brides out there. Hopefully, you wouldn’t even remotely be considered one.

“Not many left to go through now.” Fatima sing-song’s, carefully zipping up the pearl buttons on the back of the dress. Inhaling, you hold the top to your chest to help her along before watching as she continues her routine of making sure any unfortunate creases disappear.

Lifting the skirt slightly, you follow her back out into the room and stand in front of the mirror. It’s not one mirror, but more like a mini-wall of mirrors. There’s five, with one big one in front of you, two slightly smaller to either side and at an angle, while another two are angled even further in. It helps to give you a good look at everything from as many angles as possible while the bright lighting illuminates all the good points of a dress.

Tilting your head, you examine it closely before turning from side to side to try and look over all the angles. Humming lightly, you spin and watch as the skirt flares out dramatically. It had a slightly longer trail than some of the dresses you’d tried but it’s not so long that you’d need someone to carry it or anything.

“What is this one made of?” You ask, letting your fingers trail over the delicate design that makes up the bodice of the dress and spreads down onto the skirt. It feels soft and you feel pretty wearing it, admiring the leaf design and the way it creeps up your shoulders to cover up the straps.

“The leaf design on the bodice and the shoulders are ivory lace, tulle and Royal Organza with an ivory gown, tulle illusion and beading,” She gestures to the material that covers the bottom of the gown, the material light and see-through in an elegant manner. “The back of the dress is a v-design and the leaf design also continues around here. I must say, it looks beautiful on you!”

At any other moment, you’d be wondering if she was just trying to hurry the appointment up to get it moving and have you putting a deposit down already. You’d taken up so much of her time today that you wouldn’t be surprised.

But she sounds genuine, and you’re too busy admiring the dress to care. Because you agree with her. It’s a stunning dress and for once, you think it does look beautiful. It hides all the bits you were self-conscious about yet outlined your body perfectly to give you a body silhouette that you loved.

The lace design extends along with the skirt in all directions but it’s only directly in the front and behind where it extends almost to the edge. It’s intricate and so delicate, causing you to wonder how people managed to make these. You certainly wouldn’t have the patience for it.

“I...I love it.” You find yourself saying, eyes wide as you look yourself over in the mirror. Shifting around, you turn to everyone and give them an expectant look. Posing for them slightly, you shift in all directions to make sure they can see it all properly before spinning and letting the dress flow out.

“Oh my god, it’s so beautiful.” Chungha breathes out, pressing a hand to her chest as her gaze is focused firmly on the dress. Soyeon is nodding too, a huge grin on her face before she squeals and claps her hand as her excitement takes over.

“Ahhhh! It’s amazing. Oh my god, it’s perfect!” 

Hoseok’s mom nods, standing up to move over to you and get a closer look. She slowly moves around you, taking in the gown up close before reaching out to gently trail her fingers over some of the lace. You let her, watching closely to see what she thinks.

“Oh my, Hoseok is going to cry. You look amazing.” Her words cause a sudden surge of emotion in you as you look over your shoulder, taking everything in once more. It’s not the fairytale moment you’d imagined it might be, but it feels close enough. There’s not a single thing you hate about the dress.

You don’t even particularly hate yourself in it. Biting your lip, you try to imagine yourself on the day itself; the veil trailing down your back while your makeup has been professionally done and a specially made bouquet is held in your hands. The feeling in your stomach isn’t anxiety or self-hatred but...excitement.

“Mom?” Looking at your mom, you see the way there are tears in her eyes too. She’s got her hands covering her mouth and you frown, hoping she’s okay. Stepping over to her carefully, you reach out and take her hands gently.

“Mom? Are you okay? What’s wrong?” You’d crouch in front of her but you didn’t want to potentially do anything to ruin this dress. Not when you’d taken so long today to find it. Maybe you were just lucky that it had only taken one session to find it. You didn’t know, nor did you care anymore. 

You’d found it.

“Oh honey, you look so beautiful! I told you that you would, didn’t I?” Wiping at her eyes, she gives you a watery smile before giving a weak laugh. Slowly, she stands and places her hands on your shoulders, taking you in from a little distance with such a fond and happy look.

Feeling a little shy under her stare, you look down at your hands before taking a careful step back and letting her look at you from all directions. Chungha and Soyeon are almost vibrating with excitement as they stand to the side, clasping their hands together and giving you the biggest smiles possible when you laugh at them.

Looking over at Fatima, you smile at her. The look on her face is satisfied and you guess she’s probably content that she’s managed to fulfil her job today. Another bride was satisfied with her choice, after all.

“I think I’m going to have to put a deposit down on this one.” Looking back down at the dress, you run your hands down it once more in wonderment. It was odd to think that you were going to be wearing this in a few months, only then you’d be walking down the aisle to Hoseok. For a moment, you imagine what his face might look like.

Glancing at everyone else, you smirk slightly as you feel a little mischief taking over at the thought of him.

“Hoseok was bugging me this morning about if he could be allowed to see the dress. Trying to say that traditions are silly and everything. I’m going to call him, right now. Wearing this. Just to tell him I’ve found it. It’s going to drive him up the wall knowing I’ve picked it and he’s not allowed to see for months.” That makes his mom snort in amusement while Chungha let’s out a whoop of delight.

Your mom is shaking her head, amusement thankfully drying up her tears. Reaching to her, you embrace her in a tight hug that’s a little rare from you. But you’re thankful to her for everything she’s done and for all her support so far. Plus, you get the feeling she needs to have a hug right now.

She hugs you back just as tightly, patting your back before rubbing at it in soothing motions that make you feel young and small once more. When you pull away, she gives a slightly exasperated look before rolling her eyes.

“Go on then, go call him. Honestly. Do you two ever go a day without teasing each other relentlessly?” Laughing, you nod at Fatima who exits the room. You presume there’s more to go through before you’ll finally be able to leave but at least you can stop getting in and out of dresses finally.

“Never. Besides, this is revenge for him eating the last of the Crunchy Nut this morning.”

[lov3nerdstuff]

Voluptas Noctis Aeternae {Part 7.22}

*Severus Snape x OC*

Summary: It is the year 1983 when the ordinary life of Robin Mitchell takes a drastic turn: she is accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Despite the struggles of being a muggle-born in Slytherin, she soon discovers her passion for Potions, and even manages the impossible: gaining the favor of Severus Snape. Throughout the years, Robin finds that the not quite so ordinary Potions Professor goes from being a brooding stranger to being more than she had ever deemed possible. An ally, a mentor, a friend... and eventually, the person she loves the most. Through adventure, prophecies and the little struggles of daily life in a castle full of mysteries, Robin chooses a path for herself, an unlikely friendship blossoms into something more, and two people abandoned by the world can finally find a home.

General warnings: professor x student, blood, violence, trauma, neglectful families, bullying, cursing

Words: 4.7k

Read Part 1.1 here! All Parts can be found on the Masterlist!

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The two weeks that followed upon the dancing class were no different than Christmas time at Hogwarts always had been: it was snowy beyond reason, cold as hell, but the decorations that were put up actually brightened most people's mood and rendered everyone almost disgustingly cheerful. However, there were differences this year, and no matter how subtle they were, Robin still had no trouble pinpointing them with a striking accuracy.

One, both Cas and Jorien had chosen to stay at school over the holidays, mostly due to the fact that they were now in fourth year and thus officially allowed to attend the ball even without being someone's plus one. Besides that, they wanted to spend Robin's last ball at Hogwarts here with her, just once, all six of them together. Well, seven technically, but Robin still didn't know how she was supposed to get Snape into that equation.

Two, Robin spent significantly less time working for Sprout or Hagrid than she had during the last years (she did already work with them in the plenty during the school weeks at this point after all), and instead spent significantly more time with Snape, playing wizard's chess or reading during the days when the work was done, and drinking mulled wine, firewhisky or plain old coffee in his rooms at night.

And three, the two previous changes in addition to the revelations that had come up during lunch after the dancing class now made it near impossible for Robin to get the girls' words out of her head. Did Snape really look at her all that differently than at other people? Well, he certainly did, but that after all might merely be due to the fact that she was his best friend, just like he was hers. It didn't mean anything that his eyes followed her through the halls during meals, or that she slinked through the corridors on her way from his room to her own in an increasing frequency and like a bloody first year trying not to get caught after curfew. It didn't mean anything that he would sometimes just observe her with an expression that made her skin tingle while she rambled on about whatever had caught her attention now, and it most definitely didn't mean anything that he had gifted her that Japanese dictionary she had been trying to get her hands on for over a year now for Christmas. Without losing a word about it, of course, and in complete denial that it had anything to do with the holidays.

Put shortly, Robin couldn't help keeping her eyes open now that Jorien had so bluntly prompted her to. And every little thing she discovered made her want to sink back into deep denial indeed, and build a twenty feet brick wall around herself. Sometimes being the god of a universe of illusion is easier than being a peasant in the hell that is reality.

Honestly, she had never before actually considered that she might be scared to see the reality she found herself in, and found in herself. That she was scared to death not only of his true feelings, of being rejected, but also very much of her own emotions. It had been quite blissful to live in the easy fixed knowledge that she loved him, without actually paying attention to the reality of her feelings. And in reality, she felt something so intense and overwhelming that it terrified her to pieces. If only things were as easy as saying she loved him… Because if she was keeping her eyes open now, not only to her surroundings but also to herself, it was so much more than that. He was her best friend after all, her family and home, and after seven bloody years, there was no denying that he had also become a part of herself. Sure, she would be able to live without him, but what really mattered was that she would move heaven and hell to ensure she would never have to. Bloody hell, what a mess that would become once she left school in no more than half a year… And then, she could only hope that he would want to keep her in his life as well.

"Earth to Robin!" Jorien waved her hand in front of Robin's face, which was the first thing Robin noticed when she snapped out of her thoughts. "If you keep daydreaming like that, we'll be late to the ball!"

"We still have three hours until it's time to head up there." Robin huffed while rolling her eyes, but still shut the book in her lap she'd been failing to read for the last thirty minutes anyway. "I don't plan on sitting around in my dress until then."

"Are you sure that you want to wear the same one as last year?" Cas inquired in what sounded close to a whine. "I still stand by my offer to lend you one of mine!"

"Pff, yeah, Robin in a peach coloured glittery dress…" Jorien snorted, shaking her head at her friend. "You might be close to the same height, but your style is entirely different."

"I know that!"

"Obviously you don't. And Robin has a completely different body shape than you do, in addition to that."

"Hey, it's not my fault that I have muscles in my body!" Cas huffed with a glare at her friend. "Making the Quidditch team and staying on the team requires at least some level of physical fitness."

"Hey, I do have muscles!" Robin protested immediately, but she couldn't say that she felt offended by the girl's words. It was no secret that Cas definitely was the athletic type, whereas Robin's virtues were of a more academic nature.

"Yes, that, and I was actually referring to the fact that you are quite a bit more gifted in the upper regions than Robin." Jorien added with a pointed look at Cas, who crossed her arms over her chest with a blush and a pout.

"Guys, it doesn't matter, alright? I'm actually very much looking forward to wearing the same dress as last year." Robin tried to mend the field with diplomacy and an easy shrug. "The only reason I'm wearing a dress in the first place is so that I fit in a bit better."

"With Snape or with the crowd?" Cas returned with a smirk, all embarrassment forgotten. "Because while the former is quite the success with your dress, it logically eradicates the possibility for the latter to be too."

"That sounded way too Simon of you." Jorien snorted, then dodged the pillow that came flying her way. "What! It's not my fault that you guys are adopting each other's speech patterns more and more."

"So what's the plan for tonight?" Robin barged in before Cas could come up with a reply to get their bickering going again. There had been enough of that at breakfast. "Simon obviously is Cas' date, Gideon asked Lisa and Micheal's still trying to find someone. What about you, Jorien? Any prospects?"

"I asked Melissa." She shrugged casually in return, then started picking at her nails. "She'd rather go with a boy than with me. Better a date than a friend-date, and all that… Perhaps I should set her up with Michael, if both are so desperate to find someone to bring along. Quite pathetic, if you ask me. I'd rather go alone than be someone's last resort."

"Going alone is perfectly fine, I haven't ever had a date to the ball either." Robin shrugged with an encouraging smile. "You can be my date, if it means anything to you."

"You've been someone's unofficial date for all the past years, from what I was told, and I'm not getting in between that!" Jorien held up her hands in defense, and Robin rolled her eyes. "Upsetting Professor Snape wasn't on my agenda for tonight."

"Anyway…" Cas said after a few seconds of weird silence. "My plans for tonight include lots of dancing, hopefully some spiked drinks and of course some casual snogging."

"Cas!" Robin tried to sound scolding, but her laugh betrayed her exasperated tone. "That's nowhere near appropriate behaviour for a school dance!"

"Hey, I'm no saint and I never said I was!" The girl laughed in return, and the mischief that settled on her face should've been more disconcerting to Robin than it actually was. "Who knows, perhaps we'll visit the fifth floor hallway if things go well enough."

The mention of that make-out spot alone made Robin pull a face in distaste, and she couldn't help frowning deeply at her friend. "I would like to think that Simon has a bit more class than that."

"What, and I don't?"

"You just suggested going there, without a concern in the world. So please excuse me if I question your standards."

"She's got a point." Jorien added with a snicker and a shrug, and Robin gave her a high five with a smirk. Two against one; nobody was going to the fifth floor tonight.

"Fine…" Cas groaned and crossed her arms again. "But wherever else should we go, huh? Being classy while being a student isn't all that easy if you're not entirely immune to every boy's charme like Jorien or best friends with a bloody professor like Robin! How am I supposed to have fun, can you tell me that?"

"I'm not giving you pointers on how to snog your boyfriend, Cas. Or worse." Robin replied calmly, for she couldn't decide between being flustered and laughing at the girl's exasperation. "If you guys want to sneak around, you better do it without my knowledge. You know I can't lie, and chances are high that I would have to if I knew what you're up to."

"The alcoves are said to be a pretty good spot for making out." Jorien shrugged, completely ignoring Robin's previous statement. Great… now Robin would have to actively not listen to both of them. "And there's always our room, if you wanna go all out. With some sixth year charms work, it shouldn't be too difficult to find some privacy in the dorms… And I'd planned to sleep over at Melissa's tonight anyway. To hear all about her conquests."

"I did not just hear that, nope, absolutely didn't." Robin sighed to herself under her breath and turned on her heels, deciding that it was due time to take a shower. She'd gotten through puberty without too many losses, if she'd even had one in the first place, but she would be damned if she got dragged into her friends' shenanigans now as a late payback for that. So she grabbed her things and fled the room, after triple checking that everything she needed was safely tucked under her arm. She would not be smelling like pineapple tonight.

… … …

Luckily, when she returned to her room an hour later, the conversation had moved on and the girls were now discussing Cas' options for the dress she was to wear tonight. That was a topic Robin could very well live with, could very well ignore, and so she went back to reading like she'd originally tried to do before her thoughts had strayed. With a content sigh, she stretched out on the bed and focused on the article in front of her, until a light tap on her shoulder drew her eyes up and away from the page.

"It's just ten minutes until we're leaving, so you might want to get ready now at least." Jorien said to her with an amused smile, which only broadened when Robin's jaw dropped.

"But I literally just started reading! It can't be that late!"

"Yeah, well, that was two hours ago." The girl chuckled, then turned around to Cas for her to close the zipper of her dress. Both of them were already done with their preparations, in full makeup and beautiful hairdos, just a smile away from ready to go… and Robin was still in her pajamas.

With a groan under her breath, she flipped the book shut before tossing it onto her nightstand, then she scrambled to her feet to dig out her dress from the trunk at the end of her bed. Ten minutes; ridiculous, impossible… Well, not if she screwed decency for now. Without wasting any of the precious time on contemplation, she just went with it and shed her Queen shirt first, then her flannels without a second thought. Should they see her in her knickers, who cared at this point. They'd known each other for years now. Still, what she hadn't considered was the very reason why both girls gasped now and stared at her even as she stepped into the heavy black fabric of her dress and pulled it up her body with one swift move.

Robin sighed under her breath; she could very well imagine why the girls looked at her like that. It was one of the reasons why she never changed in front of anyone, and even less let them see her in any state of undress. "It's just a scar, guys. No need to be weird about it." She stated before either of them could say anything that would make the situation even more uncomfortable. "I told you that I was stabbed last summer, it's no big deal. Not a pretty sight, I know, but it is what it is."

"Didn't that hurt?!" Cas was the first to blurt out her thoughts. "I know that you told us about it happening, but… somehow I never really thought about the implications of that."

Robin snorted at the question, while she moved her hair out of the way to let Jorien close the many tiny buttons of her dress now. "Obviously it hurt. I almost died from blood loss, that's not going to happen from just a scratch. But it healed well for what it is. The scar really is a small price for my life."

"It's so weird to think that you've gone through something like that! I mean… you're just Robin, a bookworm too smart for her own good. To think that all those adventures you told us about actually happened is like imagining Professor Sprout in a wrestling tournament." Cas gestured wildly as she spoke, and Jorien just snorted at her friend's dramatics.

Robin shrugged all of it off with a smile that was as apologetic as it was evasive, then straightened her dress and put on the one pair of more or less dressy shoes she owned; they'd be covered by the dress for the most part anyway. Then she twisted her hair up with her wand like she usually did, and that was about it. Makeup still wasn't getting anywhere near her face, or any other body part for that matter.

"Wow… You look amazing! Powerful and dark and… pretty damn hot." Jorien commented when she got a glimpse at the front of the dress as well. "Like you're the essence of night itself."

"Right! That's exactly what I said last year!" Cas grinned and nodded in agreement, while Robin simply tried not to blush. Compliments about her wit and brains were fine… compliments about her looks however were just unusual and therefore weirdly uncomfortable.

"Thanks guys, but I'm really just trying to fit in." She shrugged, and both girls frowned at her in an instant.

"Fitting in is actually the last thing this dress does for you, I think." Jorien smirked as she slung her small bag around her shoulders, seconds before all three girls made for the door. It was time they got going, after all, and thus they mostly hurried through the common room and out into the hallways. "If anything, you'll draw attention. Make an impression on some people. Seize a few hearts, and steal a soul."

Robin just snorted while rolling her eyes at the comment, but Cas caught straight on to it.

"YES! Absolutely! Robin, you've got to take advantage of those killer looks… Try to seduce the subject of your affections!" Cas beamed, in a way that spoke volumes of her excitement about meddling in foreign affairs. "Use your womanly charm and go for it! Make him fall for you!"

"I love you, Cas, but do shut up."

"She's right though!" Jorien obviously had to side with her friend, and Robin groaned under her breath upon having both girls plotting against her now. "If he doesn't find you delectable now, he's truly as undeserving of you as every other male in this castle."

"And who would you be talking about?" Snape's deep voice made all three girls jump all of a sudden, and they each spun around to stare at the dark figure in the middle of the hallway behind them. They hadn't even made it out of the dungeons yet; they should've known better than to talk this loudly.

"Professor!" Cas shrieked, eyes wide and cheeks flushed as if she'd been caught doing something terribly wrong. Robin sighed under her breath and resisted the temptation to roll her eyes; so much for getting the two sides in her life a little closer together tonight.

"Nobody!" Jorien was quick to reply, and even quicker to regain control of the situation. "We were just on our way to the ball, actually."

"Obviously." Snape and Robin replied at once, and Cas snorted in return. Oh, this was going great alright… more fuel to their flames.

"Yes, it is fairly obvious, isn't it? So we should return to doing just that, or we'll be late." Jorien flashed a quick smile, then turned on her heels and grabbed Cas by the arm to drag her along while looking back over her shoulder at Robin. "You go ahead, and we'll find the guys and meet you in the hall later, yes?" With that, the two girls disappeared down the hallway and around the next corner mere seconds later, leaving Robin frozen to her spot with a frown on her face.

"Is it me or are they being even weirder than usual?" Came Snape's dry remark from just behind her then, and Robin's eyes flew to meet his while an involuntary smile pulled at her lips.

"Oh, they're absolutely bonkers. Delusional, really, if they seriously believe that I am looking delectable to anyone tonight." She chuckled, in the honest hope that he hadn't heard more of the girls' pep talk than that. But then again, he knew how to take their ridiculous ideas and teenage delusions by now, so it really didn't matter all that much. "It would take a blind man to find that mess on my head attractive."

"If you say so." He quirked an eyebrow at her in amusement, then offered her his arm instead of the usual subtle hand on the small of her back. "Let's make an effort to make it to the ball before we miss the headmaster's great speech, shall we?"

Robin's smile brightened before she could help it, and she didn't even hesitate to accept. This was the closest thing to a date she would ever have. "We shall indeed."

They arrived in the great hall just seconds before Dumbledore rose to gain everyone's attention, and luckily therefore nobody paid them much mind. A few glances here and there, more likely than not accompanied by frowning faces that studied the sight of the two dark figures in the shadows by the doors, who looked almost indignantly bored. And boy, the headmaster could talk and talk forever if he fancied it, about courage and justice and kindness and all those nimble ideals Robin fancied a more practical approach to. But finally his words faded into applause, and the crowds began moving and talking again.

"Is it me or does the speech get more righteous every single year?" Asked Robin, while she let Snape lead her towards their usual table in the far corner, only to find a group of adults sitting there already. In immediate confusion, they halted in the middle of the room, and her eyes found his in a silent question. Good thing it had become almost a bit of a routine that whenever she failed to take notice of something that was going on around her, he would know exactly what she had missed and could fill her in.

"Dumbledore opened the ball to a larger public this year." He explained, with a quiet yet undoubtedly disdainful tone. "Parents, important families, retired professors, ministry officials and the like."

"Why on earth would he allow them at a school ball? I mean… isn't this technically supposed to be for the students' enjoyment?" Robin inquired, while they continued moving through the room in search of an empty table, but finding none.

"Remember what I told you about the reasons for bringing this ball into existence in the first place?" Snape mused, and his eyes continued scanning the room, but not for a table anymore. Robin wondered who he was searching for.

"Oh. Yes, I do remember that."

"Well, let me assure you that this decision on the headmaster's end has something to do with the very likes of it."

"Great…" Robin sighed under her breath, and finally they settled for just standing at the edge of the dancefloor like everyone else who hadn't yet put a claim on a sitting spot. Somehow, the entire thing didn't seem like a fun night with friends anymore, but the very thing that was prone to make her anxious. Too many people, too many strangers mostly, and no certain place to sit and endure it all from the ranks… this was going to be hell. Or maybe, not entirely.

"May I have the first dance?" Snape asked, just when the occasion was announced and the musicians got ready to lead the way through the night. He held a hand out to Robin, in an expression of calm neutrality rather than the usual scowl even though they were surrounded by hundreds of people. Robin's heart skipped a beat, and she had to remind herself not to grin like a fool while yet her lips parted in surprise. Had he actually just asked her to dance? With words, in public, and for the first dance out of all the possible ones tonight?

"Isn't the first dance just for important people and their dates?" She quirked an eyebrow at him in mild amusement at last, choosing humour over astonishment and tingles, which would border dangerously on allowing herself to hope again.

"It is also reserved for the professors and overall staff, and even if you rightly so keep ignoring that, this group also entails me. As it is, I do not dance with anyone but you, so they will have to bear with the two of us, or live with neither." He replied so smoothly that Robin had no time to doubt or question his words when she placed her hand in his and let him lead her onto the dancefloor. Bloody hell… now all eyes were on her indeed, and she actually couldn't care less for once.

They got into position as did the other couples around them, some of which Robin knew and some of which she hadn't seen before, but when the music started, the world faded in return and left only Robin and Snape and the music behind. This wasn't hell, she found, but rather a piece of heaven on earth. Just the two of them, moving through the open space while never once looking at anything but each other. And in the very spirit of two weeks prior, Robin yet again couldn't help the smile on her lips as she held his gaze. The only thing she missed was the warmth of his hand on her back, the almost scorching touch, as now the thick fabric of her dress dimmed it down quite a bit and left her to feel the comforting pressure of it more than the heat. How nice would it be to have his fingers dancing across her skin? To dwell in his warmth for a bit and let it burn out the cold winter within her? She could only dream.

"I believe we make quite the sight." His quiet voice broke through her haze of excited, calm ambivalence, and the world regained it's hard corners and outlines. Gone was the dream, delayed to haunt her in her sleep tonight.

"We simply know how to dance." She replied with a subtle smirk, and found that the world wasn't quite so bad either if it still entailed the two of them together. "They probably don't get to see that all too often."

"I was thinking more along the terms of our common choice of… unusual wardrobe, but yes, I agree with your assessment as well."

"What other than unusual would they have expected of the dungeon bat and the insane girl?"

"Is that how people think of us?"

"I believe so." Robin smiled, but it took everything she had not to show the true effect his words were having on her. Was she so far gone by now that all it took was an 'us' ghosting past his lips to unravel the walls that contained her emotions? It seemed so.

The music stopped then, fading off the last strings as their flowing moments came to a halt as well. Too bad it was over. But perhaps they could do this again, now that the first dance had officially proclaimed them as partners for the night. It was an official custom after all, right? Robin held onto that string of hope at least as they made their way off the dancefloor and straight towards the far corner where their usual table lay empty now. Too bad for whoever had vacated it; now it was Robin's to keep.

They sat down to face the hall as always, and while it was significantly more crowded this year than it had been in the years prior, that also gave them quite a few more victims to observe and comment on. They got exactly two hours to themselves before their social invisibility was broken by the still distant but determined appearance of Cas. In her tow the other six people, who looked a lot less eager than her to get anywhere near Snape tonight. Robin sighed to herself in mild disappointment before anyone even spoke up; she would have to make a choice between her friends and her best friend now, and she hated that beyond measure. Why did life have to be so unfair at times?

"I know what you're thinking." Snape said then, quietly even though the ground of people still had to come anywhere near the table. "And you shouldn't be concerned, I understand the problem fairly well. I will leave if they wish to spend time with you."

He was already up on his feet and ready to just walk away when Robin caught his hand, and held onto it so tightly that his eyebrows lifted up when he looked back down at her.

"Don't think it's a decision I want to make, okay?" She asked with a sadness she didn't bother to hide. "It's not a decision I can make, actually, and I simply would've told them to deal with it or be the ones to leave if they've got a problem with your company."

"I know. And since it isn't a decision you should have to make, I made it for you now, by offering to leave."

"I don't want to spend the evening without you…" The words spilled past Robin's lips without any restraint now, and she was glad for that. It made the corners of his lips curl upwards for a fleeting moment at least.

"In that case, I might have to come and rescue you from their fangs in two hours for another dance. Good solution?"

"Make that one hour instead and we have a good solution indeed." She smiled up at him, and only now realised that she was still clasping his hand like a lifeline. Reluctantly but necessarily she finally let go. "I can't have four teen girls and three boys around me for much longer than that."

"As you wish." He returned a knowing not-smirk for a second, then turned on his heels and disappeared in the crowds just when Cas reached the table.

______________________________

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[everyhowlmarksthedead]

✨ Seven days of:

DAY #1.

✨ REQUEST: Congrats again on the 1000k, a testament to your awesome writing. Could I request bishop on a first date with a single Mother please ❤️

✨ MADE BY: @narfea

WORDS: about 1.5k

❚❙ A/N: this writing hasn’t been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I’m sorry about that. If you find a description about body or a word out of place, or something that it makes you feel uncomfortable / unrepresented, let me know by a private message and I will change it delighted ❤

❚❙ OBISPO ‘BISHOP’ LOSA MASTERLIST.

❚❙ MASTERLIST.

❚❙ JOIN MY TAG LIST.

It's the first time in years that you have a date, and you would be lying if you say that you aren't nervous, turning around in front of the mirror to check again how good that tight black dress fits your body. At first you were reticent to the idea, but Bishop has been insisting since he met you two months ago. When you threw over him a coffee, after being pushed by a rude customer in the cafeteria you work at.

Ready, sweetly perfumed and grabbing your bag and your jacket, you step out to the living room. Your five years old son is eating pizza on the sofa, while watching a cartoon movie on TV. You're worried of leaving him there, even if Grace is going to take care of him. She knows exactly where to find you in case something happened.

“Matt”. You call him, kneeling close to him. “Behave as the good little man you are, okay?”

“Yeah, mom. Have fun”. Wrapping your neck with his tiny arms, he leaves a short kiss in your lips.

“Te amo, mi chiquito”. You mumble, poking the tip of his nose.

Walking out of your house, by holding Bishop's arm, you can't help but feel excited for having some time with him with a bar between both and an awful boss with his eyes on you the whole shift. The man is happy too, showing it to you through the grin constantly installed on his face, guiding you to the black car stationed in front of your sidewalk. The moment he opens you the door, you know that he's pretty different from what you had heard about El Presidente of Mayans.

“Thank you”. You mumble for a second, taking a seat on the copilot place.

Talking about your day and some funny situation you have been through today, Bishop drives to the surrounds of Santo Padre, where a new mexican restaurant has opened a few weeks ago, close to the border.

It's such a nice place decorated with lights of all colors and typical stuff from Mexico, like poncho, big sparrow hats, katrinas and a lot of bottles of Don Julio. It has a huge and wide terrace, a crowded one with people from all around the both sides of the border, enjoying their dinner while talking. A bartender brings you to the booked table by Bishop on the last day, helping you to sit like a gentleman before taking a place in front of you.

“You like the site?”

“Yeah! It's really… beautiful. And it's the first time in, I don't know, like years that I don't have some time for me”. You confess them, while he intertwines his fingers with yours over the table. “Thank you. You know… for the date”.

“You don't have to. Sounds like I'm not going to have fun”.

His laugh infects you, shaking your head slightly before being interrupted by the same bartender, who has led you to your table minutes ago.

It's amazing how easy it is to open yourself to him, just like Bishop does. Since you sat there, you haven't stopped talking about everything. Work, hobbies, life, concerns about existence… You're not only discovering things about him, nice ones you must say, but about you too. Matt's father never let you talk this much, usually getting bored of whatever you like to speak about, or simply telling you not now, or I don't want to hear your shit. You have always felt off with him, until one day you decided to end that life of silence, of feeling small by his side, of living inhibited.

Now, it seems like you have a new opportunity with another man. A man who is respectful, who cares about you, about your son. A man who really looks like he wants to be with you. And even if you tried hard to not make illusions about it, you couldn't help it. You couldn't help but imagine how it would be to live under the same roof. How would be seeing Matt growing up with someone like Bishop.

But what feels like the perfect night is suspended by an unexpected call from Grace.

“Don't be scared, okay?”

You are already scared.

“Matt has fallen from the stairs. He's okay. He just has a bump, but we're in the hospital”.

Everything after that last word happens too fast. Bishop pays the bill and takes you to the car parked outside, driving quickly to the center town. Running through the hallways and dodging other people there, you find the waiting area.

Your son is sitting on Grace's lap, licking a lollipop and with his eyes reddened after crying. Throwing the sweet to the floor, he jumps to it to run towards you. Raising him up between your arms, you hold your kid against your chest as tight as you can.

“You okay, mijo?”

The man places a hand on the back of Matt's head, gently caressing it. He nods ashamed, resting his cheek against your chest.

“Does it hurt, baby?”

Your son shakes his head this time, wrapping your neck with his arms covered by his pajamas. You can see Bishop taking off his jacket to put it over him, showing you a sincere smile, before going to talk with Grace.

“I'm sorry, mama”.

“It's okay, baby, don't worry”. You sigh, leaving a soft kiss on his temple.

You feel bad for the man, having failed to enjoy the night you promised him. Having to act like your chofer, to bring you back home. And you feel bad for the illusions you have made, breaking into pieces inside you. You don't blame Matt, or Grace. You couldn't and it wouldn't be fair. You blame yourself, being aware that you were the one who should be taking care of your son. Because, yes, that could happen to you two, but you wouldn't drag anyone else to it.

After tucking Matt in bed and waiting for him to be asleep, you leave his door half-closed, coming back downstairs to the living room. Bishop is having a look at your photographs together, around the years, around California and that time you went to Disney.

“He is finally sleeping”. You say, calling his attention.

“He feels good?”

Pressing your lips, you shrug your shoulders.

“Listen… I'm so sorry about what happened. It's okay if you… don't wanna call me again, I would tot—”.

“And miss another adventure in the hospital?” He chuckles interrupting you, tilting his neck to a side. “This has been by far the best date I have ever had”.

You know he's just trying to add some humor to the night and you also know he's just trying to make you feel better, but that doesn't change the fact that you're aware he's not going to call you again, or to propose to you a second date.

“I have to leave, got to wake up early tomorrow”.

“Okay”.

With a hand on the back of your neck and another holding yours, he places his lips on your left cheek. A kiss that feels like a goodbye. Even if he shows you a last smile, you can't help but feel sad seeing him leaving your house.

Sitting on your sofa and pressing a cushion against your face, you let the tears filling your eyes wet the fabric. You don't want to wake up Matt, you don't want to make him feel bad for something that wasn't his fault.

Knocking on his door and opening it to find him reading a comic on his bed, you come in to caress his hair.

“Lunch is ready, baby”.

Tossing it over the mattress, he jumps off from it, to follow you to the kitchen. The bump is less swollen and he hasn't complained about it yet. Putting his plate full of macaroni with tomato and cheese in front of his face, you're about to sit too when the doorbell rings. Weirded out, you go to the entrance to attend the call by opening it.

Bishop turns around, taking off the sunglasses from his eyes, with a gentle smile drawn on his lips. You're surprised. And he's confused because of that.

“Can I come in?”

“Ye—Yeah”. You answer, taking some steps back to give him more space.

“How's him?”

“Feeling better. We just… started to eat lunch. Do you… wanna stay?”

You don't understand why he has come, but you're feeling again the tickles in your belly when he nods closing the door.

“Without counting yesterday, I'm not sure when it was the last time I ate something decent”.

Leaning towards you, he kisses your cheek again like last night. But this time, it feels different. It feels like you really have a second choice. And you can't help but hug him, with your arms around his middle back. Bishop chuckles embracing you without doubting, kissing your forehead before you hide your face under his chin.

“I was being serious last night, querida. I wouldn't let someone like you escape from me”.

[hannie-dul-set]

wc: 2.7k | no warnings!

the sun was about to set the moment you reached the courtyard, jogging up to jaemin who had a disapproving look on his face. the rays of light gold painted one side of him, and he quickly ran over to you to close the distance in between. you were breathless when you found yourself before him, hands on your knees as you panted.

"oh my god, you're unbelievable," jaemin breathed out, crouching down to meet your face. "i told you i can wait. you didn’t get hurt, did you?"

“i’m okay, don’t worry,” you shot him a smile, but you were still heaving from your little marathon. jaemin wasn’t satisfied by that, though, so he scanned you to check if you had any scratches or grazes on your skin. he took your hands, examining your palms and knees for any injuries, and sighed in relief when he saw none. afterwards, he finally rose from his position, though he still didn’t let go of you.

“you shouldn’t be running so carelessly.”

“i can handle myself, nana.”

you removed yourself from his grasp, lips curled in assurance, but he only pouted at you. “alright, if you can handle yourself then i guess you don’t need me to tell you that your hair looks like it has a mind of its own.”

a sudden surge of embarrassment rushed through you, and you scrambled to get your phone from your bag to use as a mirror. gosh, of course all that running would have turned you into a haggard mess. jaemin laughed at your flustered state. you seemed to be having a lot of trouble in finding your phone, mumbling incoherencies under your breath of what he assumed were apologies. he smiled to himself before holding onto your shoulder, catching you attention and bringing you to a halt to face him.

he hummed, satisfied by your reaction. using his other hand, he brushed away the strands of untamed hair from your face, a serene look in his eyes. “there. should we go now? it’s gonna be evening soon and i don’t want you to get home too late.”

“ah, thank you,” you gleamed, nodding at him. “where are we headed?”

jaemin’s expression faltered. he didn’t know if you noticed or not, but if you did you didn’t say anything. why weren’t you reacting? he pressed his lips together and just decided to bury his confused frustration, bringing back the smile on his face that rivaled that of the warmth of the sunset. you two had a date to attend to, and he was gonna make use of this time to at least get something out of you.

quickly, he grabbed your wrist, marching outside the gates in an enthusiastic manner.

“let’s go get something to eat first,” he grinned at you. “you must be hungry after your run earlier.”

the two of you stopped by a convenience store to get some quick snacks, and you remembered that this was the same store where renjun was working. you hoped to catch at least a glimpse of him here, looking around the limited isles in your seat, but you were disappointed to see that he was nowhere to be found.

“are you looking for something?” jaemin asked, his face suddenly in front of yours which caused  you to snap away from your silent search. he must’ve returned from his trek to get more snacks as he was now before you, his concerned eyes hovering over yours in a close proximity. “what are you looking for? just tell me and nana will be sure to find it!”

you blinked at him, noticing the eager look in his eyes, the long string of jelly candy hanging from his lips, and you let laughter overtake you. it was out of mere instinct— you mindlessly bringing your hand above his head to pat his blue hair with eyes crinkling in delight.

“you’re so cute, nana.”

jaemin froze upon contact, and was still frozen when you removed it, gleaming at him one second and dismissing him at the next. what the hell? he didn't get it. he didn't get how unaffected you were by his actions earlier, yet something so simple and innocent as this messed up his mind like uninvited waves crashing onto him in a foreign ocean that was yet to be discovered.

was it normal to have his heart suddenly racing like this?

“did you get anything you need?” your voice caused a rupture in between the waves, and all of a sudden he stopped thinking. “i assume you have another destination planned after this.”

the glass window behind you displayed the mixture of purple and orange skies, and somehow he was able to notice all of your nuances, the hints of worry that creased beneath your smiling face, the way your eyes seemed to be looking past what was before you. he didn’t get it. he didn’t want to get it because he had a feeling that if he did, he wouldn’t be able to feel things as they normally were.

it was scary.

things would be better if he didn’t start to act like this in the first place.

“nana?”

again, your voice broke through him, but this time he was finally brought back to his senses. his eyes flickered, right before his pretty smile bloomed on his face once more. “yeah? you don’t want to eat anymore?”

“it’s fine, i can just bring them home,” you enthused. “are you alright, though? we can go out another time if you’re not feeling too good.”

there you go again. jaemin isn’t to have other people worrying for him. it was usually his role with his friend group. it was him asking people whether they have eaten, whether they weren't having a good day just to get a little bit of attention from them. it was him that was supposed to have people’s hearts fluttering over to his hands— not the other way around.

he hated it and yearned for it all the same.

“is y/nie worried about me?” he sang, bringing his fingers to pinch your cheeks, to which you responded with a pout and a grimace. “you don’t need to worry about me, angel. it’s alright, we can go now.”

“of course i’m worried about you. it’s only natural that i do,” you huffed, getting out of your seat and getting ready to leave the store. “i’d be a bad friend if i didn’t.”

jaemin had his lips pressed into a thin line. of course. he shouldn’t be relishing in this fact because you’re probably the exact same with everyone else. it was nothing special. hell, you only went out with him because you wanted jeno’s number, for fuck’s sake.

“are you ever gonna tell me where exactly we’re going?” you asked, pushing the glass doors open. the wind blew past you when you did, and it was already starting to get even darker. you looked to jaemin for an answer, and he only smiled at you in response, taking your hand in his to go wherever he had planned.

“ahh! almost— awh, oh no.”

clang! the sound of the claw machine’s gears getting back into position was like a noise of mockery to jaemin, and just like that, another coin was wasted in his mission to snag one of the many stuffed bunnies inside the machine. you two had spent a good hour at the arcade, monopolizing the majority of the games since there weren’t a lot of people around. your last conquest was the claw machines, and jaemin promised that neither of you would be going home unless he got you one.

“i was so close…” he whined, clearly dejected from his fruitless efforts.

“nana, it’s okay,” you assured him, tenderly holding onto him to comfort him. “you can do it, i believe in you!”

considering what you knew about jaemin so far, you didn’t expect him to bring you here— but you didn’t have any complaints. it’s been awhile since you’ve dedicated your time to just having fun.

“i promise, this time i’ll really get the bunny,”

“don’t stress yourself, okay? we can try again next time if you don’t succeed today,” you started, looking at him with a smile. “it’s also getting kinda late. your parents might get worried if you stay out for too long.”

“they won’t. trust me,” he blandly spoke as he inserted another coin to try again. “oh! but wouldn’t y/nie’s parents be worried?” music started blaring from the machine, indicating the start of his next attempt, but his attention was directed to you instead. “we’ll leave after this one, okay? i’ll make sure you get home safe.”

you nodded at him, and jaemin went back to focus on getting a bunny for you. he wa determined, eyebrows scrunched together in his concentration, but just like his last attempts, this one also ended with the rabbit mockingly falling back into the rest, and all he could do was sigh.

“y/n, the world is against me today,” jaemin dejectedly announced. “i’m sorry i couldn’t get you one.”

he looked over to you, but you weren’t looking at him at all. instead, you had your attention focused elsewhere, and jaemin’s concern was stirred. “y/n?” he followed your gaze, but by now what you were looking at had probably disappeared because he didn’t see anything. “what is it?”

“someone was looking at us earlier,” you could feel him against your back, his hand resting over your shoulder, and so you stepped away to look at him. “i made eye contact with her once before she left.”

“she?”

jaemin had a feeling as to who that was, but at the same time he wasn’t sure considering his affairs. pressing his lips together, he looked at your confused gaze before deciding to grab onto your wrist, and he was thankful that you took this as a sign to start moving without questioning him.

“let’s not worry about that anymore, alright?” he smiled at you. “let’s go home.”

it was already dark out when you exited the arcade, the sky pitch black and littered with small, twinkling diamonds all over. the breeze was slightly chilly, but not enough to bite your skin. jaemin was still in dismay for not being able to win you anything after a dozen attempts, and he declared that he wouldn’t be able to rest until he did.

“nana, it’s okay. you don’t have to do that for me,” you laughed at him, swinging his hand back and forth as he walked you home. “i had fun today, and that itself is enough.”

jaemin stared at you. did you ever think about the effect our words could have on people? he managed to swallow down these emotions while he was busy trying to win the machine, but now since it was only the both of you, it was inevitable for it to resurface.

“nonsense!” he exclaimed. “it was supposed to be a remembrance of our date today.”

there was a pout on his face to which you couldn’t help but giggle at. you couldn’t deny the fact that jaemin was naturally adorable. after a few more of his grumblings, silence overtook you, but not for long as you decided to rouse a question.

“nana,” you started. “is it alright if you give me jeno’s number now? i mean, the date is now over so this should be the right time.”

oh. jaemin didn’t know why but hearing those words fall from your lips felt like a weight suddenly coming along to crush him. he forgot about that, he stupidly forgot about that when he was having such a good time with you. were you only thinking about jeno the entire time you were with him? but if you were that shouldn’t matter right? he shouldn’t care about that because he shouldn’t care about you.

he shouldn’t care about that, but he hated the very thought of it.

before he can even think any longer, his body moved on its own.

you were walking, but jaemin stood in place. it felt worse when you didn’t even notice him stopping until he spoke.

“is that all you were thinking about?” 

jaemin saw you pause and turn around, a mixture of surprise and worry in your creased eyes. he walked up to you, the familiar feeling of both of your hands tangled into his. “it kind of hurts how you’re thinking about someone else when you’re with me, y/n.”

he let out a hollow laugh, directly mostly to himself because of how stupid he was acting, but he couldn’t help it. “i’ll keep my end of the deal later, i promise. but right now—”

your eyes met.

“can you only think of me tonight? can you do that?”

jaemin inched closer to you, his face so near that you can see all the unveiled stars littering his dark eyes. you could feel his breath against your skin, foreheads touching. but even at nonexistent distance, his soft, fragile voice was barely a whisper.

you didn’t say anything. he was waiting for you to say something. and even when he was in front of you, your eyes were still looking past him.

and he was starting to regret what he did— something he hadn’t felt in so long.

“i’m sorry, i—”

“wait right here.”

you cut him off, slipping away from his grasp in such a hurry that he didn’t even register that you ran off, that you were gone until a few moments after. he could hear your footsteps slowly disappearing, and a new wave of emotions bubbled inside of him.

god, you’re such an idiot. jaemin sighed, throwing his head back in frustration as he stared at the star littered sky. he did a lot of things that he didn’t expect to be doing today, and it was because he was absolutely stupid. you weren’t coming back, he had expected that, so he swiveled his heels and decided to just head to the bus stop to go home.

he didn’t expect you to return, but when he turned around he saw you running back towards him. 

jeamin’s eyes widened when he saw your bright face, and he noticed that something was dangling from your hand. he jogged up to you, and the closer he got, the clearer the objects in your hand became.

“nana! here!” you looked the same as you did at the courtyard earlier— hair a mess, breathing erratic, but somehow it still made jaemin feel all sorts of things that buried all his previous frustrations. “i noticed a vendor selling this on the sidewalk earlier while we were walking. you said you wanted to give me a remembrance for today, but it would be better if we both have something, don’t you think?”

jaemin was taken aback when you suddenly grabbed his hand, pressing something into his palm with a wide grin on your face as if the previous events just hadn’t unfurled. but he came to an understanding when he saw it.

it was a keychain— a pink bunny with a bow on its neck that looked similar to the ones in the claw machine earlier.

“it’s really nice isn’t it?” you gleamed at him, the heat burnings in his chest suddenly spread throughout his cheeks. “i’ll put mine on my bag!”

he watched as you hung the identical pink keychain on your bags zipper, stuck in a trance that only you could bring him out of. a satisfied hum left your lips when you finished, showing off to him the result of your work.

“there! now everytime that i look at it, i’ll immediately think of you, nana.”

it was dark out, the night sky painting everything in a murky hue, yet somehow looking at you felt like he was looking at the sun— bright, burning, and tugging him around your center of gravity. he smiled at you, slipping past a thank you from his lips, and you were flushed with relief. the walk to your house was resumed, until you both finally exchanged your goodbye's, but not without sending you one last sentiment to set him ablaze.

"nana!" you called out, just before he was about to leave. "text me when you get home, okay?"

a little more closer and he’d think he'd start burning.

"okay."

you beamed at him, nodding, before running inside your house. underneath the stars, he took out the keychain that you gave him, a lingering feeling tickling his skin when he did, and a ghost of a smile sneaked into him. 

even without it, jaemin knew that he'd be only thinking of you.

he pocketed the pink rabbit, trudging towards the long walk to the bust stop to catch the last ride home.

AN EYE FOR AN EYE // A HEART FOR A HEART

as they say, what goes around comes around. so when you break a hundred hearts out of the selfishness of your actions— be prepared to get your own heart broken a hundred times, as well.

16 // only think of me ✒

a/n: HUHU I’M SO SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE I GOT WAY TOO CARRIED AWAY WITH THIS HUHU gosh, watch the next written part be like 3k or something i rlly hate myself. anyways!! i hope you liked this part because i know i did <33 pls lmk what you think!! ily mwah

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[blouisparadise]

Although most of us aren’t able to go on vacation at the moment, we hope this rec list will make everyone feel a bit better than that. Upon request, here is a rec list of bottom Louis fics where Harry, Louis, or both boys go on vacation at some point during the fic. Happy reading!

1) This Is Where I Sleep | Explicit | 3678 words

Harry and Louis go camping while on break and make some memories.

2) Under the Vanilla Sky | Explicit | 8006 words

Who the hell wears a hat like that on a yacht?  That's one of the things Louis thinks when he sees Harry from across the deck of the most expensive, ridiculous boat he's ever been on.  He also thinks he'd like to get closer.  Just to see what's under those aviators.  Just to verify that, yes, in fact, those white swim trunks might be a little see-through when wet.  Just to see if someone could really be that hot in real life.  On a yacht.  In the Caribbean sea just off the coast of St. Barts.  

Here's what really happened on that yacht.

Or, my opinion, at least.

3) Rather This Than Live Without You | Explicit | 10715 words

Harry decides to give it all up. Louis refuses to be left behind.

4) Ready To Run | Explicit | 11940 words

After being left at the alter by his boyfriend of five years, Louis goes on a vacation to try and clear his head and fill the empty spaces in his heart. On the way, he meets a new group of life-long friends, and maybe a little more than that.

5) I Know You Have A Heavy Heart (I Can Feel It When We Kiss) | Explicit | 14489 words | Sequel

In which Louis is spending New Year’s alone in France but he’s definitely not running away, and Harry is a french florist with an ever present smile who cares a lot. They meet a cold night in the outskirts of Paris.

6) Don’t Put Out The Glow | Not Rated | 15007 words

"He fists out a pair of skinny jeans and a plain black tee. Nothing wrong there. Then he sees an atrocious Hawaiian shirt in Zayn’s hand and he starts digging through the bag urgently, pulling out more and more items that don’t belong to him."

7) Pleasure Over Matter | Explicit | 152014 words

Harry is a bit out of his element, and an unsuspecting stranger provides him temporary relief.

8) All I Want Is To Fall With You | Mature | 16254 words

The weekend ski trip where omega Louis discovers that he can’t change a tire and his skiing skills are debatable but still manages to find the alpha who will change his life.

9) Some Flowers In Your Hair | Explicit | 23015 words

A magical camping AU in which Louis is jealous of Harry's magic, Liam's a little too enthusiastic about surviving in the wilderness, and Niall might have misunderstood the rules.

10) Force of Nature | Mature | 25672 words

Louis is a shy, young musician who doesn't want to go to Harvard.

Harry is a confident,  second year athlete who likes to have a good time.

When their paths cross while their families are vacationing at the same lake resort, what begins as a summer of fun becomes a defining journey that might just change everything.

11) A Trail Of Honey Through It All | Explicit | 27085 words

The boy in front of him, well really, the man in front of him, was like something out of a confusing wet dream. Built, tall, tan and muscular, his skin glistened with sweat after a long day of working outdoors with his hands. He was wearing a cut up old American football shirt, the bottom hem was torn and the sleeves were cut off to the point where the t-shirt was really just a loose tank top. The shorts he had on had clearly been full length jeans at one point, and were now just crudely cut off above the knee. His white socks were pulled up too high on his calves, and the brown work boots he had on were old as fuck, the leather peeling along the edges of the soles. Curly brown hair stuck out from the edges of his backwards snapback, and there was a smudge of grease wiped along his brow bone. The smattering of hair along his jaw proved that he hadn’t shaved in a week or two, the hair growing in thicker across his upper lip and around his chin. His sinfully bowed mouth was pink and plump, and Louis was suddenly hyper-focused on the way that he chewed at the toothpick stuck between his lips. He looked like he needed a shower. Louis wanted to lick him.

12) Rivers ‘Til I Reach You | Explicit | 29315 words

AU. Louis studies astronomy; Harry studies Louis. They spend their summers on the water and it shouldn't be complicated (spoiler: it is).

13) The List | Mature | 32094 words

'In the weeks that follow, Harry opens his old journal more than he has in the past two years each time he remembers Venice or thinks about Louis. He always flips to the same random page in the middle of the book, marked by the picture of himself that Louis sent him a few days after they got home. There’s a message on the back that says, ‘Spontaneous looks good on you! See you soon,’ and it makes Harry’s chest warm each time he reads it. He wedges their list out from between the worn pages, and it feels silly staring down at a folded up piece of paper with a strange sense of nostalgia for experiences they’ve yet to have; for places they’ve never even been.'

14) (Your Heartbeat) Rang True Inside My Bones | Explicit | 32945 words

Harry goes as Louis' date for a weekend wedding. He ends up taking the role a bit too seriously.

15) Let Me Feel Your Heartbeat | Explicit | 34572 words

Harry is 98% sure Louis hates him. So he feels like his bewilderment is justified when the omega offers to help him through his rut.

16) And Touch Me Like You | Explicit | 35971 words

The one where Harry and Louis agree to be each other's New Year's kiss and it ends up being a lot more than they bargained for.

17) A Red-Dusted Planet | Explicit | 38265 words

A one-night stand in a small town in Australia turns into a weekend that Harry could've never predicted with a boy he may never forget.

18) A Rhythm In Rush | Explicit | 40010 words

Harry is a WWF journalist with big dreams and Louis is a glaciologist that flies helicopters for fun. Greenland is an odd place to spend Christmas, but just maybe, the perfect place to fall headfirst into love.

19) Nobody Does It Like You | Not Rated | 58520 words

Louis isn't looking for a home, but he finds one in Harry.

20) Waiting For The Tides To Meet | Explicit | 59873 words

Soulmate AU. Everyone is born with heterochromia — one eye is their own eye colour, while the other is the colour of their soulmate's. It's only when they meet their soulmate for the first time that their own eyes match properly. After a hazy night at a frat party, Louis wakes up to blue eyes and the shocking realization that he had met his soulmate, without any sober recollection. Seven years pass where Louis comes to terms with the fact that he'll never know who his soulmate is. Then one fated summer, a beautiful green-eyed photographer arrives at Louis' workplace, with promises of endless laughter and a familiar feeling in Louis' heart.

21) Tug-Of-War | Explicit | 63000

Louis' husband dies suddenly and he is left with nothing. Well, not really nothing. He has Harry. And a St. Bernard puppy named Link, whom his late husband left behind for him. Louis takes care of Link and Harry takes care of Louis. Everything is okay until suddenly, it isn't.

22) This Wicked Game | Explicit | 70010 words

An AU in which The Bachelor is gay, Louis is a contestant, Harry is the bachelor, everyone drinks a lot of champagne, the entire world gets to watch them fall in love, and no one plays by the rules.

23) Don’t Tell the Gods (We Left a Mess) | Explicit | 71556 words

After a misunderstanding with Liam’s mother, Louis agrees to accompany his best friend to a family wedding and pretend to be the world’s best boyfriend. But their simple plan goes awry when he learns that Harry, ex-boyfriend/ex-love of Louis’ life, will also be in attendance. (aka: fake!boyfriends with a twist ft. bromance, romance and cake.)

24) Perfect Storm | Explicit | 80230 words

What do you do when your best friend asks you and your (now) ex to be the best men at his destination wedding? You can either tell him the truth, tell him you’re not together anymore, and deal with the consequences, or you can pretend you’re still together and roll with it, just pray you don’t spiral. Fake it ‘til you make it. You know, for the sake of the wedding.

Harry and Louis choose the latter.

25) Nothing Worsens, Nothing Grows | Explicit | 102528 words

Another roadtrip au featuring Harry as the misunderstood hipster, Louis as the bitter psych major, Liam as the one with the secret boyfriend, and Niall as the one who just wants everyone to be happy.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[imaginejamesandsirius]

this is like, a super weird idea i've have had in my head for a long time: So, trans Sirius and James are both famous singers (they are together) and Sirius is outed as trans, maybe someone posts and old picture or his dead name, and James is the best boyfriend ever comforting him:) (sorry if i had mistakes, English it's my second lenguage)

((A/N: Warning for forced outing and some mild transphobia- aka people see old pictures of Sirius and assume he’s a woman))

Sirius had made a career out of being a bloke that dressed feminine at times. Technically, he'd made a career out of singing, but more people talked about his outfits, his makeup, and his hair, than his songs. Which was fine by him. He wrote all of his own lyrics, but it's not like he thought they were anything groundbreaking. He'd done three albums so far, and each of them had a single, poetic song that was basically a love letter to James. The rest of the songs on the albums were pop. Maybe pop rock, if the reviewer wanted to be generous. Incidentally, his poetic songs were always the least popular ones, but again, it didn't really bother him. He was a pop artist. He was successful at it in large part because people thought he was gorgeous. It was a nice stroke to his ego, which he always appreciated. 

James had made a career out of actually being a good singer and songwriter, which Sirius thought was hilarious. They were quite a pair. Every time a fan discovered that they were married, they expressed shock at how different their styles were-- usually followed by wondering how the hell they were together; Sirius didn't understand how different musical styles were supposed to make them incompatible life partners, but he thought that was pretty funny too. 

"I don't want to go on tour again," Sirius said with a frown-- not that Benjy could see it. The beauty of phone calls was also the biggest drawback: Benjy couldn't see what Sirius looked like. It meant that he could stay in his pants while talking, but it also meant that Benjy couldn't see his expression and react accordingly. 

"I know you said that, but-" 

"But nothing, Benjy. I've got a husband that I do like seeing every once in a while, and I can start on the next album like you wanted." 

"It's an over exaggeration to say that you starting on the next album is what I want," Benjy, Sirius's manager said. "I offered it as an alternative to going on tour." 

"And I've accepted, so what's the problem?" 

Benjy sighed. "Nothing, I guess. Tell James hullo for me." 

"Will do. And thanks." Sirius knew that he was a pain sometimes, but whenever he was too nice to Benjy, he never ended up getting what he wanted. He once hadn't seen James in person for three consecutive days for a year and a half because he had kept telling Benjy that it wasn't the end of the world if he stayed on the road. 

"Uh-huh. I know it's your time off, but keep in touch, yeah?" 

"Yep. Bye." 

Benjy echoed, "Bye," and they both hung up. 

"Hey sweetheart," James said, putting an arm around Sirius's waist and pressing a lingering kiss to his cheek. 

"You're cuddly," Sirius noted. 

He hummed, not denying it. "Just love you is all." 

"Aw, you love me? How embarrassing." 

"I've always been in love with you, and not once in my life has it embarrassed me." 

Sirius flushed a light pink but pretended like he hadn't. James saw it anyways but kept his mouth shut. There had been times where Sirius didn't like himself in the slightest, but James had always liked him. Every inch. When he had his dysphoric days, James loved him just the same; it helped. 

*

James was plucking tunelessly at his guitar as he frowned at his music notebook, and Sirius was laying on the ground with his feet propped up on the armchair in front of him. Ah yes, the glamorous lifestyle of popular musicians. 

Sirius was having a pretty good time of it. Doing nothing was quite a bit of fun. It was one of the only things he really missed from their school days. Even on his days off, where he purposefully sat around doing nothing, it felt like he had been run ragged. Sirius loved his life, and he liked performing, but a part of him couldn't wait for the day when he got to retire. They'd be able to sit around like this all day, every day. 

It was as he was having that thought that his life decided to take a dip. His phone was sitting on the coffee table, and it buzzed several times in quick succession from new messages. "Can you kick me my phone?" Sirius asked, not wanting to get up to see if it was important. 

James paused playing, then did as Sirius asked and kicked it off the end where it landed near Sirius. 

He picked it up and unlocked it, then frowned. "What's Benjy texting me for?" 

"Well, he's your manager. I'm sure he has lots of reasons." 

Don't panic. 

Well that was comforting. 

I'll take care of it.

People might say some shite, but your #1 defence is to just not look at it. 

Sirius itched to get on twitter and see what he was talking about, but to date, Benjy hadn't given him bad advice. If he said that Sirius didn't want to see it, then it was probably true. Still, he needed to know what the hell he was talking about. 

What's going on?, he texted back. 

Someone found an old photo of you and James at school. 

Oh. Sirius swallowed. If it was from Hogwarts, then Sirius hadn't come out, and he sure as hell hadn't transitioned yet. James was back to plucking at the guitar strings, evidently coming to the conclusion that if Sirius hadn't told him what it was about, then it wasn't important. It's not like Sirius was going to keep it from him, but he wanted to know what was going on, and James would tell him not to bother with it. He'd tell James what was going on-- as soon as he figured it out himself. 

You're gonna get pissed at me for looking, aren't you? 

DON'T. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SIRIUS DO NOOOOOT. 

Sirius read the text and didn't reply. He wasn't going to look at all the comments-- really, he wasn't. He just wanted to know how this had started. 

It wasn't hard to find. 

Some fan of James's was attending Hogwarts and had recognised him in an old photograph. They'd snapped a picture on their phone and uploaded it. Guys, teenaged James Potter!!! I guess that's his girlfriend before he got married :P Sirius had hair down to his shoulders now, but back then, he hadn't cut it once and in the picture, it was in two low pigtails. He'd had to wear the girl's uniform back then, which meant a pleated skirt and a blazer in red instead of trousers and a yellow blazer like the boys had gotten. He'd hated that uniform. He'd gotten more detentions for wearing the wrong uniform than he had anything else, which was sort of amazing considering how often he'd acted out in other ways. 

Someone else had said that the girl in the picture looked an awful lot like James's husband. 

Someone new put that picture side by side with one of Sirius's current ones. Dude, does @siriusblackpotter have a twin sister or smthn?? He has mentioned "family issues" before... 

It went from there to someone unearthing the names listed for the original picture, to someone pointing out that he never took his shirt off for photoshoots, to someone finding both records of him changing his name. That shite was on public record. The only reason he'd gotten away with it up until now was that no one had thought to look for the first one. 

Sirius exited out of twitter and crawled over to James's chair, leaving his phone where he'd been sat before. 

James stopped playing, peering at him curiously. "You alright, love?" 

"Mph." 

"Benjy trying to get you on tour again?" 

"Nah." 

James threaded his fingers through Sirius's hair, scratching lightly at his scalp. "Then what's up?" 

"Someone found an old picture of us in Hogwarts." 

There was the briefest pause in James's hand before he resumed. "All over social media?" 

"Yeah." 

"What did Benjy say? That was Benjy texting you, right?" 

"Yeah. He said he'd come up with a statement or summat, and I should just wait it out." 

"Good advice," James said mildly. 

"You disagree?" Sirius asked, tilting his head back to look at him. 

James gave a small shrug. "I dunno. I'm sure from a PR point of view, that's the smart thing to do." 

"But?" 

"But all I want to do is... I dunno. Something mushy. Let everyone know I love you." 

"Pretty sure they already know that. I think the marriage might've tipped them off." 

"Might've," James agreed with a small smile. With the hand still holding the guitar, he held it off to the side and leaned forward to kiss him. They kept it short since it was an awkward angle, and if James tried to stay that way for very long, he'd probably fall off the chair entirely. It did Sirius a world of good to feel it, brief as it was. Feel him. He leaned back in the chair again, but he kept the guitar away. Evidently, the time for figuring out a new chorus line was done for the moment. 

"I love you," Sirius said. He knew that James knew that. But he liked saying it, and he knew for a fact that James liked hearing it. 

James's eyes lit up like Sirius had given him the world-- just like he did every time Sirius said it. "I love you too. You want to do something fun?" 

"Fun how?" 

"Eh, dealer's choice. We could watch a horror movie and eat ice cream." 

"I hope you realise the only part of horror movies I like is the part where I cuddle up to you." 

"Liar," James said with a grin. "You also like the blood sprays." 

"I just think they're funny is all," Sirius said. 

"Thinking it's funny counts as liking it." 

"Hm, disagree." 

James rolled his eyes. "Does that mean we're on for a horror movie?" 

"Absolutely." 

[iamtrebleclefstories]

I Was Made For Loving You

Soulmate AU series where Jo and Alex discover that they are soulmates under different circumstances

Feel free to leave your ideas for different ways of discovering your soulmate!!

Part 1 - Where You Have Matching Soul Marks

His mark was tingling. It had been tingling for the past two weeks. It was strange. Never had his mark tingled before. Not as a kid, not when he was with Rebecca, not when he married Izzie (who wasn’t his soulmate but Denny died and Izzie no longer had a soulmate so he thought it could work). It didn’t tingle with Lexie or Lucy or any of the various women he had slept with in the past month. But occasionally, while he was in the hospital, his mark would tingle.

His soulmate was nearby. He knew that much. She was around here somewhere, just out of reach. He never thought he would meet his soulmate. The phenomenon was so rare. The only people he had know that found their soulmates were Meredith and Derek, and Mark and Lexie. Everyone had a soul mark, but not everyone would get the chance to meet the person with the matching mark. Mainly because, people are impatient. Even though everyone had someone designed specifically for them, people were too impatient to wait for that person. Everyone wanted the love and the fun quickly. No one wanted to do the work. So, eventually many people ended up in committed relationships with life mates.

Having a life mate wasn’t a bad thing. There were plenty of people that were perfectly happy living their lives with a life mate. It wasn’t uncommon. In fact, nowadays, you were more likely to find that people were settling down with a life mate than a soulmate. That’s why he married Izzie. Her soulmate died and he hadn’t found his, so he thought he could make them both happy. He thought he could be a good, decent, honorable man. But that went out the window when she left him.

Since then, he hadn’t really gotten into anything serious. He gave up searching for someone that might make him feel like a little bit less of a screw up. Sure he had a girlfriend or two, but he made it pretty clear that it wasn’t anything serious. He filled his loneliness with a string of one night stands and hookups. He never slept with a girl more than twice. They’re less likely to get attached that way. It worked for a while. He almost forgot about the constellation on the inside of his left wrist.

His mark was itching and burning like crazy. Not for the first time he cursed the fact that the mark was on his wrist and he was a surgeon who needed his hands to work. Resisting the urge to rub it, he hurried over to the pit where he was paged for an incoming trauma. He reached for a trauma gown and bumped into an intern he had never seen before. He pulled on the gown and gloves quickly without sparing a glance to the woman, “Do you mind?”

“Sorry.”

The sound of her voice made his heart speed up a little and his mark tingled. He ignores it and kept walking to the ambulance bay, noticing that she was trailing him, “Why are you following me?

“I’m your intern for the day.”

“Hello intern. You have a name?”

“Jo Wilson.”

“Nice. I like chicks with boys names.” He glances at her and feels his heart pick up bit, but ignores it. Again. She was pretty. Beautiful even. He was sure if he looked into her eyes they’d be beautiful too.

“Karev.” Callie interjects, pulling him out of his thought.”

“What? I do it’s hot,” He smirks and finally locks eyes with the beautiful young woman in front of him and it’s almost as if time stops. He feels it immediately. The burning sensation on his wrist as he clutches it tightly and gasps. He hears the intern exhale sharply and watches as she holds onto her side as if she just got the wind knocked out of her.

They stare at each other for a moment with equally terrified expressions when they hear a voice in the background, “Holy shit.” They break eye contact and look for the source of the voice, Callie Torres, who’s eyes are wide in shock. “You guys are... woah.”

He takes a deep breath and looks back at his intern. Jo. Her name is Jo Wilson. She looks like she might run. You and me both. He was too damaged for her. She was a nice, normal looking girl and all he had ever known was crazy. He couldn’t possibly be her soulmate. He was an asshole. He was the last person who deserved to meet their soulmate.

The sound of the ambulance arriving was enough to snap him out of his thoughts. Soon, he was so preoccupied with the sixteen year old girl’s injuries that he had slipped into attending mode and focused on controlling what he could. He sent her to work on his pre and post ops and watched her leave as the elevator doors closed.

“You can’t be serious,” Callie shakes her head. “You could’ve let her scrub in. You two could’ve talked and gotten to know each other in surgery. It would’ve been like the least stressful first date ever. She’s your soulmate for crying out loud.”

“I can’t right now Torres. I just can’t,” he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “I know what they say about me. I know I’m an asshole and a manwhore. I’m so screwed up. She doesn’t need that crap. She’s a bright, wide-eyed intern that’s got a lot going for her and she doesn’t need me and my baggage messing it all up.”

“Alex,” Callie smiles softly and sighs. “Do you know how rare it is to find your soulmate? The one person who will put up with your crap no matter what? The person who was quite literally made for you? Now I don’t know much about this Wilson girl but if she’s your soulmate, I’m pretty sure she’s tough enough to handle it.”

The elevator doors opened to the OR floor and they hurried to scrub in. As he was prepping for surgery, he tested the waters to see if what he had heard was true. They say you could sense your soulmate. If you try hard enough you could feel them and sense what they were feeling. So he closes his eyes and reaches out in hopes of maybe finding the connection.

Within seconds, he feels confusion. Frustration. Nervousness. Excitement. Fear. Uncertainty. He chuckles to himself, yeah me too princess. He pushes all thoughts aside and begins to focus on the task at hand. About halfway through the surgery, he can feel her presence in the gallery. Sure enough, he looks up and sees her observing the procedure.

“You could tell her to come down here you know.”

He ignores Callie’s comment and proceeds to tell her to go check on his patients again. He knows he’s being an ass, but maybe if he’s enough of a jerk she’ll forget about him and just move on to someone better. He knows it’s futile though. Once you meet your soulmate, you can try as hard as you can to distance yourself and be with other people but it’ll never be right. Because your soul has already found its missing piece. Take Meredith and Derek for example. Derek was married and tried to stay with Addison, while Meredith tried to date and forget about Derek. In the end, the connection was too strong. The bond was too deep. The pain was too much to stay apart. Mark and Lexie were a mess but when she died, she died loving him. A part of Mark died with her and eventually he succumbed to his injuries as a result of heartbreak.

Hours later when the surgery is over and it’s time to check on his patient, he knows he’s gonna have to see her again. He knows the minute they are in the same room together his heart will race. He knows the minute they lock eyes he will feel as if all the oxygen in the world won’t be enough to restore his lungs after he forgets to breathe at the sight of her. But most of all, he knows he will feel like the worst person in the world for treating her badly.

He sees her talking to Torres outside the girl’s room. He breathes in deeply and walks over to them.

“Oh Alex! Your... intern brought you coffee.” Torres smiles and looks pointedly at the young woman in front of her.

“Cool.”

They look at each other awkwardly for a moment when Callie clears her throat, “Wilson here was wondering if she could scrub in on your next surgery.”

The young woman in question looks over to Callie and glares, shaking her head. “No... that’s not... I mean, I would love to scrub in on your next surgery but um, you don’t have to...”

“Can I talk to you for a minute? Alone?” Alex says.

The intern looks over at Torres again and who nods at her encouragingly, “Yeah... we can talk.”

He turns around and has her follow him down to the tunnels, where hopefully he could find some privacy for the two of them to have a conversation. It felt right to bring her down here. So many significant things happened down there in the tunnels, so it seemed appropriate to have his first real talk with his soulmate in the same place. He stops and sits in a gurney. Just as he’s about to open his mouth and say something, he’s interrupted.

“Look. You obviously hate me. I don’t know what I did to piss you off or what you might have heard about me that made you decide that I wasn’t worth your time but I’m not a bad person. I am a kind person. I am smart. I was valedictorian of my high school, I went to Princeton, and Harvard Med. So what am I missing? What am I not getting? Please tell me so I can move on.”

“I don’t hate you. You haven’t pissed me off,” he insists

“I haven’t?”

“No. I just... it may be possible that I’ve... dated other interns...”

“You mean Heather.”

“Yeah...”

“And Leah.”

“Uh huh,” he nods sheepishly.

“And Susan, Stacy, Tina, Irene. Don’t worry about lying to me or trying to spare my feelings. There isn’t much that I haven’t heard about you already since you’ve screwed every one of my friends. But I am willing to put all of that aside if you are.”

He stares dumbly at her for a second, “Yeah. I’d like that.”

“Okay.”

He wasn’t expecting her to know how big of a douche he was. He realized that he made a few mistakes but he hadn’t noticed that his reputation was scarily similar to what it was his intern year. If that wasn’t a slap in the face, then he didn’t know what was. “How about we start over. I’m Alex.”

One side of her mouth twitches as she reaches out to meet his outstretched hand, “I’m Jo.”

“Well, Jo, I have a Nissen tomorrow morning at 8am if you’d like to join me.”

Her smile grows wider and she nods enthusiastically, “Yes! I’d love to.”

“But for now, how would you feel about joining me at Joe’s bar for a drink tonight?” he asks, hoping she’ll say yes.

“Yeah, what time should I meet you?”

“I’ll come get you in the intern locker room at the end of your shift.”

“Okay. Yes that sounds good.” She gives him a bright grin and he decides that it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen, and vows to make sure that as long as he’s around, she’s got something to smile about. “I’ll see you in a few hours, Alex.”

He takes a giant breath in and mirrors her grin, “See ya in a bit, Jo.” He turns and walks toward the attendings lounge, hoping to run into Meredith in order to share the big news. Alex Karev had found his soulmate.