#funniest moment in all of this tbh

[vvettell]

i think about it at least once a week anyway but now that brazil is next i keep thinking about brazil 21 and how much of a rollercoaster ride it was the narrative was SO rich that weekend it was better than any script anyone could have written

when after mexico it felt like max already had one hand on the trophy because the points gap was big enough that lewis would have had to win all the remaining races and first the freight is stuck in miami and arrives late so teams can't work as they usually would and the first rumours pop up of lewis taking yet another ICE and it feels desperate because why would they take yet another one but then quali happens and lewis gets pole by FOUR tenths which was one of the biggest gaps we had in quali all season and it's okay because he'd start the sprint from p1 but then the race from p6 and he did a mega lap

ONLY THEN after the session reports come out about the fia checking lewis's car forever and bam lewis gets disqualified because his rear wing flap opened only 0.02mm more than it should on one side and merc fight it immediately and video emerges of max touching lewis's rear wing in parc ferme after rb had been baffled by merc's straight line speed and newey met the fia about it but the stewards refuse to come to a decision that day and it feels like the championship is already over just hand the trophy to max while the merc admin is posting about lewis being the dj in the garage as if nothing's happening so saturday happens and merc lose the appeal and max gets fined 50k for touching another car in parc ferme

lewis starts the sprint dead last and has one of THE drives and gets 4 cars in the first lap alone and ends up p5 on the grid in a matter of 24 laps which sets a record for most overtakes in that amount of time and it kinda feels like you're watching something special like history being made like maybe..... but WAIT!!! he still has to take the engine penalty

so sunday comes around and lewis starts the race p10 and gets up to p2 after a small battle with checo and the car is so fast lewis is catching and catching and on lap 48 he tries to overtake max in turn 4 who doesn't even TRY to turn the car and punts him into argentina basically and the stewards don't even note it and wheatley is on the radio about how it's all about letting them race and hard racing while merc complains and masi tells them they've looked at it from all angles which turns out to be a bold faced lie after the race because they didn't have max's onboard and couldn't see his steering inputs at all and he's not referring it to the stewards and lewis puts his head down and sets it up and gets a beautiful move done 1 lap later the crowd goes absolutely wild and after the last two races in that triple header it feels like this championship is on again

he picks up a brazilian flag from a marshal in the cool down lap and drives the lap with it and brazilian commentary literally chokes up on live air and lewis stands on the podium with the brazilian flag around him and brazil celebrates him like he's their own and call him the boss and it was the most beautiful thing he came back from what was essentially a 25 place grid penalty and overtook every single car on the grid some of them even twice and still WON!!!!!

[fearsomefive]

Try your ninja nonsense on Mr. Banana Brain, my fine feathered FUCK

[ssaalexblake]

sooooo pathetic that that shitty little pestule of a human managed to get the first dw serial pulled off of iplayer's collection i s2g

[elfilibusterismo]

funniest experience of my life is a korean man calling me strange for having black painted nails

[magentagalaxies]

related to my tags on that last post: even tho i have had alcohol each time i'm in canada with my kids in the hall friends i still have never smoked pot even tho i've had many opportunities to. see rn i'm caught between "holy shit i could also make it so the first time i smoke pot is with scott/paul" vs "both times i got secondhand high in high school i got super paranoid and i do not want to risk that happening while i'm with these people who i still very much look up to even tho they're basically my uncles." tho also tbh i've been around people smoking weed indoors often enough in toronto that i've probably gotten secondhand high since then (especially at the buddy cole afterparty lmao) and that felt fine so idk i might try it at some point. idk if i'll have my first with a member of kids in the hall but if i end up liking it i WILL smoke with them someday. in any case i still appreciate that paul and scott always offer a joint to me even if i refuse it and are totally understanding when i do. it's a small thing but it makes me feel included

[nururu]

Sanji: that's the disgusting guy who saw u guys naked in the bathhouse while I was secretly hiding in the bathhouse to see you get naked

nami&robin: and we think ur a pathetic uncool virgin for that btw

[poppyseed799]

I miss roleplaying with random people online cuz the funniest stuff would happen

[elliesdoll]

pt.2 to my angsty loser!ellie drabble 𝜗𝜚

nsfw! ellie gets caught and that’s literally it. i hate this so bad but it’s whateva

(part 3 will have lesbian gay lesbian boob vagina butt sex i promise. no more ellie masturbating)

find pt.1 here! & pt.3 here :3

daily click! don’t buy tlou free palestine

after ellie’s pathetic masturbation sesh, she vowed to herself to fucking pull it together.

she wasn’t gonna let herself mope over you, because she knew you had an active sex life. she forced herself to be fine with it. to be fine with the people you decided to bring to your bed. she wanted to be near you without feeling this suffocating feeling of yearning and lust filling her insides.

and if that meant tucking her feelings to the deepest pits of hell, then so fucking be it.

a few weeks had passed since that little moment you and ellie had. the one where she had showed up to your house in the middle of you hooking up with someone.

the morning after, she has awoken to a string of texts from you, all apologizing for that awkward moment.

11:34pm

ellie i’m so sorry you had to see me like that. i didn’t mean to come off rude.

i wanted to go after you but i couldn’t really leave her alone in my house lol

els?

i’m really sorry. i hope u don’t think you can’t come to my house ever again ☹️ i actually thought it was sweet you showed up like that.

2:12am

goodnight ellie. i hope things aren’t awkward between us.

god, you made her feel awful. you were too fucking sweet to her. the way you never missed a single night when telling her goodnight, even after something like that. she rubbed her swollen face, mainly from crying, and typed a short message to you.

9:47am

hey, sorry for rushing away like that. idk why i did that lmfao

and things aren’t awkward at all, i shouldn’t have just showed up unnanounced

no els seriously! you should do that more often. tbh i wanted to hang out with you more than that girl… but yk i couldn’t 💔💔

she smiled at your kind text, glad that you two could just put it behind yourselves. her moment of relief was quickly replaced by disgust, when she saw the state of herself and her bed. her inner thighs sticky with dried cum, and her sheets below her still damp with all the extra release.

“gross..” she mumbled to herself, getting up and immediately throwing on some boxers and a tshirt, feeling way too vulnerable being naked like that. she went to the bathroom and cleaned herself up, then threw her sheets in the wash.

since then, you two have been fine. you do your weekly hangout sessions, where you grab food and talk about anything for hours on end. it’s almost as if nothing happened.

until one of your sleepovers.

you always convinced ellie to spend the night at your house, at least every other week. whenever it’d get dark outside and ellie would start to get up, you’d give her that irresistible pout and “ughhh, c’mon els.. just spend the night. it’s too dark out for you to go home.”

and every damn time, she agreed. how could she ever say no to you?

one night, you and ellie are high out of your minds, talking about god knows what. all giggly and soft, you two exchange jokes and stories that really make no sense. but, to you two, it’s the funniest thing in the world. after a laughing fit between the two of you, you wipe your tears and sigh.

“god, i love you.”

you say, still catching your breath from that tummy tensing laugh. the words were just an expression of admiration for her. but to ellie, they were so much more.

“i love you too.”

she says, looking you in the eyes. she’s high, so she’s not thinking too hard about how sincere she sounds. but she really should’ve, because that soft tone of her voice and the glint in her eyes make it sound way too fucking real.

“woah,” you let out a nervous, breathy chuckle. “that was a bit theatrical.”

“wh..what do you mean?”

ellie asks, getting a bit nervous. she’s not her usual, stuttery self though. she keeps it together. thanks to the weed.

“just the way you said i love you. it felt like… deep.”

you move your hands as you talk, and ellie just shrugs. but she knows she’s fucked. before she could stop her feelings from resurfacing, she gets that familiar tingle in her belly and pounding of her heart.

“shut up,” she rolls her eyes, trying to play it off.“you’re dramatic.”

her voice wavered with those last words. fuck, her voice wavered. why did she feel like she was gonna have a breakdown any second now? she had to get the hell away from you.

“gotta piss. be back in a bit.”

ellie says quickly, so quick you don’t even have time to retort to her calling you dramatic. you just sit there, confused. you could’ve sworn you heard some uncertainty in her voice, but you let her go.

meanwhile, ellie made a beeline for your bathroom. she shut the door and leaned her head against the wood. she let out a deep sigh, trying to calm herself. the fact that she felt the most intense feeling that she couldn’t even describe over a mere “i love you” had her cringing.

she just couldn’t get over you. the entire night, she tried her best not to think about how good your tits looked in your pajama top, or how badly she wanted to just shove her face into your ass in those little shorts.

her thinking over these details led to the predicament that she’s in right now. sweatpants around her knees, legs slightly spread as she rubs one out while leaned up against your bathroom sink. her eyes are shut and her head is thrown back, letting out the quietist grunts she could muster.

she knew she shouldn’t be doing this, she promised herself that she would stop. but god, you made it hard. she was so wet, it made her cheeks flush red. the simple thought of you had her literally dripping around her own fingers.

you were still in your room, biting your thumbnail as you wait for ellie. you start to get worried, thinking you made her upset by commenting on how she said ‘i love you’. so, you being the thoughtful friend you are, go to check on her.

you quietly walk to the bathroom, putting your ear against the door. you were going to knock and mutter a little “els? are you okay?”, but the sounds you heard made you lose all the words in your mouth.

soft, sharp inhales and tiny sticky noises is all you can hear through the door. it’s a bit hard to listen to, since the soft buzz of the yellow light in there overpowers it. what the hell is she doing in there?

you knew this was wrong. an invasion of privacy to the max. but your curiosity was getting the better of you, and you were worried. you put your hand on the doorknob and slightly twisted it, not expecting it to open. but it did.

did ellie forget to lock the door?

ellie doesn’t hear the soft click of the door opening, too lost in her own pleasure as she practically humps her own hand. it had been too fucking long since she could touch herself to the thought of you. her only guilty pleasure.

her head was still thrown back, eyes squeezed shut as she rubbed her clit at a shockingly fast pace. and you saw it all. you had opening the door just enough for half of your face to see through the opened crack. your whole body froze at the sight in front of you.

she was so captivating. her face looking all fucked out, her pale thighs that were so tensed up, the shininess of her slick that smeared on the heel of her palm. even the quick glimpses of her gorgeous auburn bush that you could see if her hoodie rode up enough.

your tummy felt weird. first, you felt guilty for eavesdropping on your best friend. second, you were confused why the fuck ellie decided now would be the best time to masturbate. third, you were turned on. disgustingly turned on, at that.

a few seconds of watching ellie made your panties get all sticky and wet, and that burning hot feeling in your lower belly. you couldn’t look away.

“ohh, fuck— please,”

your brain short circuited hearing ellie say that. god, she was so lost in her own pleasure. so lost that she accidentally knocked over your toothbrush and hand soap on the sink, causing her to jolt and snap her eyes open.

she looks down at the bottle of soap and toothbrush that landed in front of the bathroom door. the door that’s cracked. her eyes shoot up, and there’s where she sees a glimpse of you running away. a quick flash, but she knew it was you.

she is so fucked.

I HATE RHISNSO BAD RRRR😡

btw i finished this literally like 3 days ago and didn’t wanna post it hut i did anyway ☺️☺️

[kings-highway]

haikyuu ships but its things about their relationships or moments that I think would surprise their friends/teammates

starting off with my boys Daisuga: honestly definitely the rest of the team forgets that they haven't been together forever, and are never expecting when either of them are acting like, well, teenagers in a relationship. Specifically in regards to being shy in front of each other or wanting to impress each other, the rest of the team always is surprised by it because in their mind, like, why are you feeling insecure in this relationship I thought you've been dating for 2 years and Suga is just like "try 3 months BITCH now I need you to find out what his favourite kind of chocolate is I'll pay you real money if he doesnt realize why you're asking."

right along to Kagehina and honestly, literally even just realizing they have a normal relationship. I think everyone absolutely understands how they got together, but I imagine the first time ANYONE sees them out in public together they ALL have a moment thats like "oh shit they like... are actually dating" and every time Kagehina is just like... on a lunch date, or going shopping, walking a dog, just chatting. Like people are surprised that they genuinely spend time together outside of sports. The first time Kageyama goes with Hinata as his date to a family wedding the entire family is flabberghasted bc they definitely thought this was an on-court obsession only

Iwaoi is really simple, literally just people realizing that Iwaizumi has genuine romantic affection towards him is the funniest thing to me. There's a week where Iwaoi is worried bc Iwa had to go to school with a hickey on his neck but literally NOBODY bats an eye or even mentions it because "yeah Oikawa obviously-" but when theyre changing for practice and they see that Oikawa has a hickey on his neck the entire team goes feral and practically tackles Iwaizumi like "you committed to kissing him for that long?????? YOU?????" like they cannot comprehend Iwaizumi actively participating. (obviously this is also the only time they every see Iwazumi embarassed enough to visibly blush which only compounds things.)

Bokuaka's is so stupid but honestly - the first moment the team realizes that Akaashi is, like, attracted to Bokuto and isnt just his best friend that got carried away. Konoha catches Akaashi checking out Bokuto's ass as he's leaving the changing room and it legitimately ruins Konoha's day. What is he supposed to do with this information.

To be completely fair, Ushiten as a concept probably absolutely baffles the entire Shiratorizawa team for multiple reasons. I think though the obvious one is that the rest of the team cannot understand how little Ushijima is bothered by any of Tendou's antics, where Tendou is VRRY touchy and goofy and lots of PDA and affection and Ushijima is completely receptive and unbothered by it, if not going out of his way to intentionally make Tendou laugh to invite him to more. Like Tendou absolutely would sit on his lap during lunch and Reon would be sitting there losing his mind bc last time he sat too close to Ushijima he got a lecture on personal space. Oh, but now suddenly he's super chill and relaxed and nothing bothers him its tendou doing it.

Asanoya's is a little sad tbh but I think, specifically the second and first years, would be surprised by how serious Noya is about the relationship and how little he tolerates jokes about them being opposites/a surprising pair or any of that. Like theyre shocked to find out how seriously he's taking being a boyfriend and really trying to make sure Asahi is happy. The idea that it isnt superficial or just for fun for him is surprising to them.

Arankita - in a comedy of errors Atsumu accidentally finds out they they are ~no longer virgins~ and legitimately has to leave practice for 20 minutes. There's a piece of him, and the rest of the team, that had 100% believed Kita was a robot and they just.... the idea that this was something that happened organically and not for "procreation" doesnt fit in their worldview. Kita smacks the next person who brings it up and that ends the conversation.

[dvrcos]

more mic’d up andrew minyard when?? mic’d up AARON minyard when?? other mic’d up fox when??

Aaron Minyard Mic’d up

Hes reluctant to do it for a long fucking time

He thinks its kinda dumb

But he mostly doesn’t wanna get scolded for what his mic would pick up

Because my boy is a shit talker

He’s saying everything and anything he can to rile up the other team

He’s even trying to rile up the other foxes tbh

So when he finally agrees he makes coach promise he won’t get in trouble

He body slams the opposing striker (because if there’s one thing Aaron’s gonna do it’s put his all into a body check)

And the opposing striker is mad like visibly fuming

He’s all up in Aaron’s space, a moment away from starting a fight

And Aaron thinks it’s the funniest thing ever

He’s laughing his ass off while loudly crashing their raquets against each other

‘What you’re upset I hit you? I’m five foot nothing dude sounds like a you problem’

And he’s lucky the striker gets pulled away by his teammates cause he’s over 6 foot

And Aaron is all bark, no bite

*whispering into the mic as he walks away* ‘I’ll be honest guys, he would’ve kicked my ass but that was to good of an opportunity to pass up’

His best moments come from when he trips up a striker

*sends the striker sprawling onto their ass* ‘womp womp’

*body slams one into the wall* ‘maybe next time man’

*slams the ball out of their racquet* ‘that’s not yours cmon now’

He flirts with the opposing team but in German

Because he’s discovered that when they can’t understand what he’s saying it really gets to them

And he’ll slip in a word in English so they figure out he’s flirting

And they’re even more pissed and distracted that they mess up what would’ve been a solid play

‘What the fuck did you just say to me!?’

‘Hey, hey sorry just trying to have a nice conversation’ *winks and walks away to start up play again*

*Opposing striker, absolutely baffled and fuming*

His striker accidentally trips him up and gets past to Andrew

And Aaron doesn’t even have to look at Andrew to see the heavy bored expression he’s giving him

Aaron knows he’s probably plotting where to hide his body if he does it again

*Andrew, shaking his head in disappointment as he smacks the ball away*

*Aaron rolling onto his knees and pleading for mercy while laughing* ‘my bad, let’s just talk this out I promise it won’t happen again it was Nicky’s fault’

This happens a lot whenever they’re both on the court

Because making a joke out of Exy is one of the only ways they both actually enjoy it sometimes

And it’s something they can actually bond over

But oh god forbid if someone on the other team says something about Andrew

That’s when Aaron just looses it

Doesn’t matter if the player is ten times his size, he becomes all bite

‘Put your psycho pet brother on a leash already’

And Aaron’s helmets already off and he’s going for his gloves next

*Matt grabbing him and holding him back* ‘cmon Matt it’ll be good, he asked for it, it’ll be good’

‘No Aaron, no red cards’

‘But it’ll be fun’ *tries to throw his helmet at the other player*

He gets a yellow card for it but he proudly displays it by tucking it into the front of his jersey

‘I’m gonna frame this one coach’ he tells Wymack as he sits on the bench for his penalty

Kevin’s always the most annoyed by Aaron’s shit talking because it threatens the game and Aaron’s wellbeing

And he also gets the most riled up whenever Aaron’s turns it onto him

*Kevin storming over to Aaron after he almost gets ejected* ‘Stop saying shit that’ll get you kicked out of the game you idiot’

‘Oh cmon Day I know you like em a little feisty, I’m just trying to make you happy my Queen,’

And Kevin just smacks the top of his helmet and turns to walk away

‘I can get on my knees to apologize if you want, I know you like me on my knees’

And Kevin just has to tune him out cause Aaron won’t stop if he feeds into it

He gets really into the game sometimes though (because he’s competitive and he can’t help it)

Like he’s screaming and cheering so loud at certain points the mic is crackling

*Kevin and Neil scoring the goal that pulls them into the lead* ‘LETS FUCKING GO’

When he’s on the bench he’s the one banging on the plexi glass

He’s screaming at them to get their heads out of their asses or cheering them on even though they can’t hear him

And then he gets out of his competitive streak and he’s lowkey embarrassed

‘If that gets posted online I will never recover’ he mutters after he’s just jumped into Matt’s arms in celebration

When the foxes listen to his recording later they’re shocked by how creative Aaron gets with all of it

And they find it hilarious

And endearing

And they like that they’re getting to see a new part of Aaron as he gets more comfortable with the team

He is by far one of the most aggressive of the foxes when he’s on the court, both physically and verbally

And the fans absolutely eat it the fuck up

But Wymack doesn’t mic him up often because he is lowkey a liability because of what he says

[dsmp-lainey]

all i know is c!tommy is queer. in which ways? up to you and ultimately undefinable tbh

is he trans? yeah sure! in which way? whatever way is funniest in the current moment ofc

he’s simultaneously the straightest character in his group and the gayest little creature to ever exist. yes he is also aroace. he is somehow part of beeduos relationship and actively disgusted by them at the same time. he is married many times without ever having been in a romantic relationship. it’s beautiful and insane

all of these are true at once, don’t worry about it too much, it’s just the c!tommy way

[baddestbittyontheblock]

april fic recs

𖤛 hi everyone!! i've read so many great fics this month, so i hope you all enjoy my faves of april!! 𖤛

⚘ remember to like and reblog the works you enjoy in order to support each incredible writer!! ⚘

֍ however, make sure you read the information on each story themselves such as triggers & warnings ֍

◈ if you’d like me to remove your fic from this list, message me! ◈

f1

lewis hamilton

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 it sounds silly by @pickingupmymercedes lewis hamilton x reader | bit of angst, self image problems, body image discussions

-reader is struggling with a self image issue and where lewis gives words of encouragement

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 lewis drabble by ^ lewis hamilton x reader

-lewis where he casually mentions in his gq interview that he has a longtime gf or wife.

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 lewis blurb by ^ lewis hamilton x reader

-reader comes home drunk and Lewis reacts to seeing roscoe with those marks next morning

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 pipe down by @thef1diary lewis hamilton x fem!reader | 18+ smut, oral, fingering, reader says ‘sir’ like once, pussy obsessed lewis tbh, allusions to riding

-you were straddling lewis, stripped down to nothing but your panties.

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 unexpected find by @waterlilydrops lewis hamilton x fem!reader | 18+ only, nsfw, explicit sex content, threesome f/f/m involved lewis, sex tape, reverse NTR, p in v sex, masturbation(f), slight dom/bub,spanking, dirty talk, blowjobs, mirror. If you feel uncomfortable, please exit promptly, 4k

-as you were helping lewis tide up the old apartment, you suddenly found out a video tape. however, as you inserted it into the vcr and pressed play, you realized just how interesting the content of this tape was.

lando norris

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 dad!lando blurb by @russellsppttemplates dad!lando norris x reader | fluff

-lando posting or sending his family pictures of his milk drunk babies because he thinks it is the cutest/funniest thing

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 lando blurb by ^ lando norris x reader | fluff

-reader always forgets or looses hair ties and lando noticed this so he started to always wear one on his wrist for her

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 what i'm missing by @uglyducklingofthe2000s dad!lando norris x reader | fluff

-lando comes home from a race weekend to find his wife and kids in a moment that makes him wish that he wasn’t gone so often.

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 my boobs by ^ big yitties!reader x lando norris x reader

-lando loves his girlfriend's boobs and she's just got used to him in private and public, in fact half of the time others notice before she does

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 the slip up by @loveluvrs lando norris x reader

-max was streaming with lando at his place. lando drags his feet over to the stream room, sitting on a chair next to max. he was scrolling on his phone, trying to pass the time. 

carlos sainz

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 cooking up some fun with the sainz’ by @eccentricwritingbaby dad!carlos sainz jr x wife!mom!reader | fluff

-y/n sainz is a successfully famous chef with her own restaurant and ever since covid, she has been cooking on instagram live once a week. fans adore the sweet interactions between her and carlos and their little baby girl. 

tlou

ellie williams

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 ellie drabble by @elliesprettygirl ellie williams x reader | fluff

-ellie desperate for reader but reader is always acting hard to get just for their ego. but ellie doesn’t back down..

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 ellie blurb by @ourautumn86 ellie williams x fem! reader | +18 content, mdni

-she tries to shush you but you’re scratching her naked back and it feels so good…

woso

alexia putellas

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 the mountain is you by @ceesimz alexia putellas x reader

-barcelona. once a place that felt like home to you, yet now as you clamber into the back of your taxi outside of the airport, it's the same but different.

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 golden key to the sweet life by ^ mom!alexia putellas x mom!reader | fluff

-there was something intoxicatingly endearing about the way alexia interacted and whole-heartedly cared for her family and friends' children.

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 our sun is setting by ^ alexia putellas x reader | mentions of homophobia and grief for a parent. It's quite a heavy fic, please keep that in mind.

-"i told my mami about you today."

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 close your eyes by @ktgoodmorning alexia putellas x reader | mind-numbingly fluffy, inspired by the song "close your eyes and count to ten" by grouplove

-you and alexia take a moment to yourselves on your wedding night, soaking in your time together.

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 familia by @barcaatthemoon alexia putellas x reader | fluff

-how alexia realizes that you're the one.

alessia russo

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 make yourself at home by @p0orbaby alessia russo x reader | SMUT 18+, not explicit but smut adjacent, oral (alessia receiving)

-all you want is a quiet night in with alessia, and tooney?

call of duty

simon riley

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 simon blurb by @cntloup simon riley x reader | smut

-it's safe to say simon is utterly and completely devoted to you. 

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 ghost losing his ring by @ch1n1tahwrites simon riley x reader | fluff

-he was just coming back from a long mission, awaiting to be in his wifes arms in his big comfy bed.

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 tommy by @simonrileysfavteacup simon riley x reader | fluff

-he came out looking exactly like his father. he acted exactly like him. he didn’t sleep, he had nightmares too often, he loved watching telly, he wouldn’t sleep without you near him, and so much more. 

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 the next of kin by @soapybutt17 simon "ghost" riley x wife!reader, oc daughter (cassandra "cassie" riley), john price | mentions of injuries, drug consumption, slight angst, mostly fluff, 1.6k

-simon needed to update his contact information, as dodgy as he was for giving everyone even a glimpse of his private life, he did so. who would have ever thought that it would become handy after an injury left him high on painkillers and needy for his girls back home.

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 like mother, like daughter by @anangelwhodidntfall  dad!simon riley x reader

-in which you and ghost have a baby girl who loves to copy your facial expressions

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 olderbf!simon by @heavenbarnes simon riley x reader | fluff

-thinking about your older bf!simon that cannot cope with being far from you.

celebrities

harry styles

𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 that 4am cry by @signoferoda dad!harry styles x mom!reader | fluff

-harry’s daughter has a set routine when it comes to her night time feed

✦ dividers by @cinnamoncafe, @saradika-graphics, @thecutestgrotto, @silkholland ✦

[rendezvouz-fling]

Astro Observations #20

• Is it just me or do most saturnian moons (Aqua/Cap) tend to grow up with single mothers who only care about making money and having multiple boyfriends? Lmao.

• I feel bad for Gemini risings with Aries mercuries because they’re so genuine and they might be very chatty but it’s their biggest love language.🤎 I think this might also apply to just about every other Gemini rising too!

• I feel bad for Aries moons with Libra mercuries/risings because yes they can be a little hot headed but they won’t be flat out bold and they might beat around the bush a lot! On the other hand though when they’re really arguing with somebody they might switch to intellect and surprisingly demolish that person.✋🏽

• People with mercury at a Fire degree (1, 5, 9, 13, 17, 21, 23, 29) love to exaggerate things! Calling myself out too, chile!😩😂

• Virgo suns with Leo mars can be very sweet and caring but also very scorning, abrasive and wants themselves/their partner & kids to look/dress their best almost all the time! Pretty much the always picture-ready type moms.

• You better believe that even if a Sagittarius moon won’t say it they might feel hurt and start detaching until they’re completely gone out of your life and you’re left wondering what went wrong.

• Tbh idk why but Libra mercuries also be out here saying mean, out-of-pocket stuff just not normally in people’s faces so maybe that’s why their friends might not take them seriously.

• Whereas Aries mercuries probably have a reputation of arrogance and downright disrespectfulness but they can also be very nice especially if you’re close with them. You’ll notice they just like to cuss for fun lol.

• Scorpio mercuries need to stop being on interrogation mode!😭

• Gemini mercuries be telling some of the funniest stories and their facial expressions/hand gestures make it even more funnier than it has to be.😭🤣

• Dear Cancer mercuries, you guys are so thoughtful and caring Ilysm!

• Capricorn mercuries, you’re not boring and I love how also detail oriented you are!

• Can I just say Cap mercuries so be out here clowning too! 😂 I have a close friend who’s a Cap sun & mercury and she says funny things often, she just has a very articulate way of speaking but besides that she’s hilarious!🤣

• I recently noticed people with Air/Earth placements tend to have speech impediments and other stuff. E.g. my little sister is a Virgo sun/moon & Libra stellium and she can’t pronounce the letter ‘R’. I have a Gemini rising at 23 degree, Capricorn mars & other air placements and I used to have a speech impediment and developed selective muting. 💀

• Having Air/Fire placements can be such a challenge! 😭 My Aries mercury just be saying anything along with the super chatty Gemini rising but then later my Aquarius moon has a pep talk moment and makes me say “Why the fuck did I say that? Now they’re going to think I’m—” 😂😂😂

• People with harsh aspects between the sun and pluto might be known as open books but they might become self-conscious about it and have the urge to remain a mystery yet they can’t help but overshare!😭

• They might also think about it often! Like it might haunt them.💀

• Gemini venuses are soo fun!! I’d literally take these people with me if I was to go on a road trip because they’d keep me entertained and we could just goof around & talk about anything lol.

• You might also find yourself attracting/being attracted to people who’s venus sign is your rising sign!

• Pisces venus, for the sake of your own life please stop staying in toxic relationships because you fear being abandoned and think it isn’t worth it because you’ve been with this person so long—LEAVE. ✋🏽

• Cancer venus, you know I love you but sometimes you gotta stop trying to control people. 😭

• Scorpio venus, with you I feel like we’re always on the same page and see eye to eye in most things/interests.

• Capricorn venus you are literally one of the most giving venus signs! I literally love you!!<3

• Sagittarius mars men having a thing for smacking their girlfriend’s butt.🤣

• Leo mars want only the best of the best especially if there’s Taurus in the mix!

• While Libra risings might develop people pleasing tendencies, Gemini risings tend to develop social anxiety.

• I’ve seen so many Gemini suns always point out that they either have or think they have a mental illness. Especially ADHD.😨😰

• Yes Earth suns are normally very chill and grounded. But add some Air and especially Fire in the mix and they’ll be the most erratic, short tempered people you’ve seen!🙃

• Fire mercuries/mercuries at Fire degrees, how does it feel to get shouted at your whole life then gas-lighted and blamed when you turn out to be a sharp-tongue individual?

• Gemini moons and their many 1-3 Am shows in their rooms.😭 Same for Aqua and Libra moons but Gemini moons do it more often lol.

• If somebody is very generous, bold, funny, and gets pissed off/defensive very quickly then they��re an Aries dom.❤️‍🔥

• Taurus moon, why are you so stubborn?

• The best thing to hear is “Okay fine.” From an Aquarius/Taurus moon when you’ve finally got them to change their opinion that they stubbornly wouldn’t let go of lol.

• 9H moons tend to be very attached to their ideas/opinions/beliefs. I can testify😂

• I’ve noticed some 2H moons tend to stress eat?

• 7H moons looove music and fashion!💗

• 9H Aquarius moons are normally cultured people.

• Fire moons are the loyalest friends hands down. I said what I said.✋🏽❤️

• Scorpios suns with Sagittarius moons/mercuries somehow be coming up with the funniest life-stories??😭🤣

• I’ve noticed Sagittarius mercuries tend to be awesome yet underrated songwriters! E.g. Nikki Sixx of Mötley Crüe who wrote most of their songs😩🖤

• Say what you will but some Leo risings literally exude not only a very charming but bright aura! David Lee Roth is literally your typical Leo Rising!🦁🌞

[fairyhaos]

how seventeen act with their black cat s/o

requested by anon : hi! can i request how seventeen would act with an s/o with a "black cat" personality? thank you! :>

notes: while writing this i realised i only Kind Of understand what a black cat personality is lmao. so, uh, just go w it u guys okay

masterlist

seungcheol

black labrador x black cat pairing all the way. when you're exhausted with no energy, he's being your protector. when he's upset and feeling terrible, you're his protector. mutual protecting, you know? but it also feels like the "i'm only my softest when i'm with you" feeling with seungcheol, like being in one another's presence allows you to truly and fully relax

jeonghan

he's still coddling and cooing over you no matter what. you could be the most tsundere, grumpy, annoyed person in the world at that moment but he's calling you adorable and asking you in a cute tone how your day was. it's a good thing that you're really really weak for him tbh, bc if anyone else was calling you a little kitten while pinching your cheeks then they are getting punched.

joshua

still as gentlemanly as ever. calls you extravagant nicknames like "my lord" or "my lady" bc he likes to tease that you having a grumpy nature is just bc you're a very picky person, like royalty. slides an arm around you and goes "is he bothering you queen/king?" whenever someone is talking to you who's obviously annoying you. when you're in a bad mood, he's attacking and tickling you until you fall into laughter again

junhui

tabby cat x black cat supremacy yeahhhh!! he's like the curious, innocent, playful cat to your black cat vibes. tsks when you emerge from your room wearing all black to go out somewhere, makes you go back inside and change one (1) piece of clothing into something with more colour. peppers your face with kisses and then demands kisses of his own too

hoshi

head over heels for you, but needs you to initiate everything. grab his hand while walking down the pavement, give him a kiss on the cheek at random times throughout the day. you don't need to tell him "i love you", though, because he knows that already. knows that you tolerating and even enjoying his hyper nature is an "i love you" enough

wonwoo

so basically, you're just two cats that don't go outside and amuse yourselves at home. it's not that you don't like going out, but when both of you are both content with staying indoors, what's the point? silent communication galore, having the ability to read each other's minds and simply knowing, without having to say anything, just how much you mean to each other

woozi

lowkey, he enjoys it because it means he gets to be the one to talk the most in the relationship. bro has a lot to say, okay, with the funniest opinions and adlibs and really does love talking. he's still a great listener ofc, and sometimes there are days where the both of you just sit in silence. which he finds absolutely brilliant, because he's actually found someone to sit in silence with who's just like him

minghao

the sassy duo. lowkey also the fashion duo, bc i can just imagine you two in matching sunglasses and matching fashion styles, sitting cross-legged and peering, unimpressed, over the rims of the glasses at whoever is being weird this time. the best thing ever is how you just Get each other's sense of humour, and i can imagine endless weird inside jokes between the two of you that make you grin over at each other during big gatherings

mingyu

golden retriever bf (1). bouncy and bumbling and excitable. thinks you're the brightest and loveliest angel in the world. sure, maybe you have your introverted moments and won't let him hug you but personal boundaries exist, right? he gets that. he's your Protector™ fr, even though he knows you're one badass mf that doesn't need protecting

dokyeom

golden retriever bf (2). loud asf. a ray of sunshine that would have blinded you if he wasn't also just adorably soft and sweet. the type to lean over and whisper "so, we don't like them?" when he catches sight of you glaring at someone while you're meeting up with friends. whines like a dejected puppy when you (jokingly) tell him to go away

seungkwan

is kinda sad that you're not all too keen on receiving his kisses and his hugs, but to make up for it he engages in all the other love languages instead until he finds the one that you adore the most. the most accommodating and attentive, bc you may not communicate your opinions that much, but don't worry because he's trained himself to be attentive to your every move

vernon

vernon is normally a listener, but like woozi, being with you allows him to talk more, and also allows you to laugh more. he has the craziest stories which make you smile after a hard day. he enjoys talking, when it's to you, who'll watch him attentively, humming and smiling and he enjoys that it's only him that you'll be so sweet and gentle with

chan

your Biggest Supporter Ever. you don't even need to be doing anything, he's just gonna support you no matter what. would fully believe you if you said that you were taking part in a secret space project to go to Mars. backs you up whenever someone is making you uncomfortable/annoyed/angry no matter the situation. you don't need to say the words "i love you" to him, don't worry, because he says it enough for the both of you.

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reactions tags: @jeonginssa @magicaltonaru @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @turningcarat @zarara @bunnyiix @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @iheartyujin @summery-bat @newgirlygirl @moonlitskiiies @ejspencer14 @mirxzii @wonranghaeee @saythename-chess @yonabutnotyuna @youthoughtiwasfeelingyou @crackedpumpkin @wqnwoos @sunshinekyeom-sang @ocyeanicc @zozojella @thesmellofcoffeeandrain @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @kawennote09 @a-wandering-stay @icyminghao @nananacomeonnnn @valenhui @sweet-like-caramel @hansolaria @gam3bo1z @marisblogg @evasaysstuff @odxrilove @kyeomyun @chansburgah @pepperonijem @jeonride @kellesvt

[prince-liest]

TBH I maintain that the funniest thing about Vox is that he IS clearly cunning and charismatic and competent, but also all of that flies out the window whenever Alastor shows up. Every single time.

I know the Vees are supposed to be the main antagonists of season two, with special focus on Vox and Alastor, but like. I have little to no faith in Vox's ability to pull himself together as soon as Alastor confronts him.

God, this is EXACTLY what I want from season 2, hahaha. I genuinely really enjoy Vox having this hilarious contrast of normally being an extremely competent and charismatic CEO type that just loses literally all of his rizz around Alastor because he's too down bad. Him being so condescending to Valentino about not chasing after Angel Dust in canon being immediately followed by Vox himself having a public meltdown on live TV just because Val mentioned that Alastor is back was peak character moment to me. "Fu-u-uck!" + QAQ at the end of Stayed Gone lives in my mind rent free.

All that said, I just sometimes feel kinda bad because I mostly write Vox in the context of Alastor and I feel like sometimes I don't do him enough justice as a result, hahaha. I promise I think he's competent! I hope he does the equivalent of stepping on a rake and slamming himself in the face with the handle every time he sees Alastor in season 2, though.

[maikissed]

and the day after that, and day after that part 3

jude bellingham x reader in honor of this a-hole for scoring tonight and winning la liga (scandalous, cuz i'm a barca fan, don't jump at me) i'm turning sloppy with these continuations, not a fan of this one tbh. but i hope you'd like it a bit sorry for typos

! sexy times here

Blissful, sharply clutching at your heart but making you light in your limbs, almost tingling at the skin of your neck and your chest as you focused on it. But when you lingered there, trying to catch it to correctly define it, it stumbled you over, crushed everything in it’s path, like a sudden wave sinking you down, with the great power to swallow you whole. Something so gentle and delicate turning into a potent and striking feeling of absolute infirmity. The funniest and trickiest thing about these sensations was that they turned, switching places, changing their courses, making you fall and fall all over again. Like at the end of it, at the moment when the sweet feeling was supposed to end for the other, the more prominent one, to take place, you took a minuscule step and stumble. Fell into it. An elation. That how you’d call it, you realised, as you noticed your chest rising sharply under your sight. Your eyes on him this whole time, innocently observing him making a simple conversation with his friends just few meters away. He smiled at something and it took you a short moment to realise that the corner of your mouth rose a little too at the sight. That’s when he looked back at you, his bright smile turning into a more tender one when he caught your eyes. And those mad stirs fumbling inside of you turned violent so unexpectedly, tickling, no, hitting you in your gut, making you almost stop breathing.

He winked at you then. And your smiled turned bigger. You reached for your phone.

still can’t wink, mate

You watched his expression change as he read your message. A smirk slowly appearing on his face.

Yeah? Can see you blush from here

You chuckled to yourself, biting your lip as you typed a response. Placing your phone back on your thigh you waited.

take me home?

It didn’t take him long to approach you, of course. His hand extended to you to help you stand.

There were boundaries set at the very beginning of the new course you decided to take your relationship on. You had been indisputably terrified of many repercussions that might came if you made a mistake. Still not many knew, it was just Mia, really, but your trip to Madrid has already spoke volumes. At least you suspected it has. Wanting to take it as slow as you can you put the boy in a constant state of suffering, denying him too much physical contact in these last few months. You perceived it wise, he considered you cruel.

“Want something to drink?” Jude asked as you entered the saloon.

“I’d love some lemon water” you answered softly, taking your shoes off “Iced, if you please”

“Yes ma’am”

You sent him a playful smile, heading to the balcony. Of course one fell quickly in love with the pleasant weather in this country. Though the midday heat was a lot for you, you enjoyed the still lukewarm, now almost refreshing breeze coating you after the sunset. You hummed at the contact of your bare feet with the still warm tiles, resting on one of the chairs.

“Don’t rock on your chair” you could hear Jude’s voice when he joined you, your head thrown back as you succumbed to a peaceful night coating you soothingly.

You smiled at his reprimand. Then you heard him placing your glasses on the table, and then you loosed your balance. A sharp yelp left your throat at the feeling of falling, but when you opened your eyes you spotted Jude’s wide, playful smile centimetres from your face, his hand at the back of your chair. You gasped quickly realising he tricked you, pulling the chair further back. And of course it wasn’t the first time you let him fool yourself like that.

“You prat!” you swat at his hand and he just laughed at your reaction.

“Oh is it so funny?” you jumped from your sit to throw more punches his way.

“Yeah, your little squeak was ridiculous” your eyes widened at his comment.

You swung your hand with intention to hit his bicep once again but he blocked it before you could reach it, grasping your wrist in is grip. Being stupid enough you brought your other hand to action but he captured it too, stopping your attack altogether. When your heart slowed down a little you just huffed, feeling laughter filling your lungs as well. This time you didn’t stop to consider, simply leaning in to kiss him on the lips sweetly, your hands still in his hold, close to your head. But you had no intention to continue, pulling away from him when he begun to chase you.

“What?” he laughed and you beamed at the joyful glint in his eyes “You consider this a payback?”

“Yes, I always win, Bellingham”

“Oh, we’ll see about that” he lowered your hands but still kept his fingers wrapped around your wrists.

With a gentle push he forced you to step back and a chuckle left your lips uncontrollably when your back collided with the railing behind you.

“What are you doing? You’re not getting a kiss this way or another” you said feeling him stepping into you, the closeness fogging your brain just a tad.

“I’ll take it different way then” he bit back with a smirk and you hummed with a sneer.

You flinched and giggled when he started peppering barely there kisses on the skin of your neck. And when you curled your neck to make this task difficult for him, and because of the reason that his nose quickly following the trace of his lips on your skin made you incredibly ticklish, he let go of your left hand, using his fingers to remove one of the straps of the dress you were wearing. So when he reached your collarbone he slowed down, using his tongue at the swell of your breast that appeared after the top of your clothing slipped lower. He took his time, you realised with a deep breath, moving to the other side. The feeling of a scrape of his teeth on your shoulder surprised you, so you looked down to spot him biting on the material of the other strap of your dress, slowly dragging it down your arm. You giggled.

“I’m happy to keep you entertained” he murmured between kisses he caressed your skin with on his way up.

“Oh, I love watching your attempts” you bickered.

A bright blink in his even darker eyes made you shiver and you were mesmerized. Your eyes glued to his beautiful face, full lips just slightly parted, all his attention on you.

“Oh yeah?” he smirked “You look a little breathless, love”

Something in your chest squished at the way he accented the sweet little name he called you and you swore to hell you blushed right now. You could feel your cheeks heating up. What were you? Twelve? Maddening, at this point.

And any words you wanted to voice out, you didn’t even remember them, died at your tongue as you realised his hands were lower now, slowly grabbing another fold of your long summer dress to reach your skin underneath. You anticipated, focusing on the sensation of light air kissing another part of your legs as the material rose up with another grasp of his hands. You blinked, keeping your eyes keen and hard in contact with his when his fingers reached the delicate skin on your thighs. He hummed, content with the feeling, bringing his attention back to your neck and chest.

“Suddenly so quiet now” he muttered into your skin.

“’m waiting for something interesting” breathless, indeed.

That’s when his hands glided up to sharply grab your bum, pressing you tight against him, the feeling of his hard on prominent on your stomach. And the movement met with the lick of his tongue in the valley between the top of your breast. You moaned grabbing the railing behind you with one hand, the other placed on the crook of his neck. So when he kissed your throat you opened your mouth for him, ready, wanton for him to kiss you now. He did, and it was rough and forceful and you loved it. With a quick grip on your thigh he hiked up your leg to rest highly on his hip, the skin uncovered now. You rose slightly on your left feet, searching for him, yearning for the right contact. He groaned into your mouth when you pressed against him, using your pelvis and your right leg now, almost wrapped around him. You worried for a moment that someone could see you this unveiled since you were out in the open. The property was well separated, but there still were neighbours in some distance and even worse, Denise on the other side of he villa.

“Ah, fuck” he sighted against your lips “Aren’t you a delight?”

You would answer to that, but he didn’t let you, using his hand placed on your lower back to press on you harder, grinding against you, and you whined pitifully, closing your eyes in the meantime. Chasing the pleasant feeling to wash over you. Your hands started wandering, slipping under his shirt, desperate to feel his skin, his muscles hard under your touch.

“Will you let me tonight? Will you let me fuck you tonight?” he mumbled when you pressed your chest against him, your lips centimetres away.

Your eyes opened, a little smirk dancing on your lips when your fingers grazed delicately his skin, just above the button of his pants.

“Take me to bed, Jude”