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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 10 months

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So, the other day, I posted this video, because I figured enough time had passed since I last posted one of the clips of the thing I'm inexplicably obsessed with (late-night 00s Edinburgh shows), so I could get away with posting that one again. This led to a conversation with @lastweeksshirttonight, in which they asked me whether old Edinburgh Festival was always that unhinged. To which I would say - I watched a 2-hour documentary on it that went through years of weird shit that's happened there and didn't even mention Cowgate (though I think that's mainly because Daniel Kitson didn't do the documentary, obviously, so they glossed over his era of hosting a bit, and only really focused on him in a clip of one time when he was being a dick to Ava Vidal, for some reason). Maybe more significantly, a bunch of comedians got a collective nickname for pioneering the groundbreaking, so remarkable they got named after it, idea of not getting drunk every night during Edinburgh late-night shows.

Anyway, this made me think of the guy singing in the above video, whose name is Seán Cullen. He's Canadian, I used to occasionally hear him on CBC radio when I was younger. From 1987 to 1998, he was in a band called Corky and the Juice Pigs, with comedian Phil Nichol, and Greg Neale. I actually remember Corky and the Juice Pigs a bit too, from when I was young. They used to play on CBC radio, and I think they had songs on a compilation tape (like, an actual cassette tape) of Canadian comedy songs that my dad used to play in the car when I was about eight years old. Arrogant Worms, Bowser and Blue, Three Dead Trolls - those are the three Canadian comedy bands that I remember well being really into as a kid (and not just when I was a kid - the number of Arrogant Worms songs in my music collection has three digits in it, I last saw them live when I was well into my twenties, and I'd see them again tomorrow if the opportunity presented itself). I only very recently made the connection that Corky and the Juice Pigs - that other band that I used to hear play very Canadian joke songs - is the same as the band that Phil Nichol was in with that guy who sang Oh Edinburgh in that video. Turns out I've known who those guys are for way longer than I'd previously thought.

I definitely remember this song from those childhood road trips:

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I fucking loved this song during my childhood phase of thinking Canadians making fun of Americans was the funniest thing in the world (this phase didn't start with Rick Mercer's Talking to Americans but it was certainly fuelled by it).

Anyway, I didn't realize until last month that I've known who Phil Nichol was since I was maybe six years old, when I suddenly made the connection between his band and those childhood cassette tapes. But I did know that part of the answer to "was old Edinburgh Festival always that unhinged?" is "Well, the guy singing the song in that 2001 video that prompted the question was used to be in a band with a Canadian comedian named Phil Nichol, who won the Perrier Award in 2006 for an anti-Iraq war protest show that ended with him removing all his clothes and having about twenty other people on stage with him do the same and encouraging the audience to do so as well, and the in 2008 he called into Daniel Kitson's Melbourne radio show at 3 AM while clearly high to tell him that he loves him, and also that he's just made out with a woman in a car."

Of all the comedians I’ve discovered through my obsession with 00s Edinburgh comedy, Phil Nichol is one of the ones I quite like. At some point after his Corky and the Juice Pigs days ended in the late 90s, he moved to England and has been a comedian there ever since.

He has two old specials on NextUp: Nearly Gay from 2005 and The Naked Racist from 2006 (that’s the one that won the Perrier Award). Nearly Gay is a show that started because of what I think was Corky and the Juice Pigs’ most popular song: The Only Gay [word I, personally, would not use for Inuit people]. Apparently American comedian Scott Capurro repeatedly accused the song of being homophobic, so in 2005, Phil Nichol wrote a whole show about how he can’t be homophobic because he has lots and lots of gay friends and has done lots of stuff that could be considered “gay”, even though he’s heterosexual. And the show is… shockingly, much, much less awful than you’d expect, given the premise. I mean, it’s not perfect. But you know how bad a show you’re imagining based on my description? It’s a lot better than that.

Most of the time, I would say it would be annoying to spend five minutes listening to a straight dude explain how he’s exempt from homophobia because he kissed his male friend as a joke while drunk once and he has gay friends; it would be unbearable to listen to a guy do that on stage for a whole hour. But Phil Nichol gets away with it, because… okay, I have to admit, he’s got a point. He’s got a lot more to his defense than just an “I kissed a guy when I was drunk once” story. He makes his claims and then backs them up. Especially for 2005, when it was way less acceptable for straight guys to do anything that could possibly be perceived as gay. He had me at some point thinking – okay, fair enough, I think this straight guy might actually be sufficiently connected to the gay community to get a little bit of a pass.

It also helps that I don’t think the thing for which he was defending himself really needed defending. He was accused of homophobia over his song The Only Gay [word that I, personally, would not use for Inuit people], and you will notice there’s only one word in that song’s title that I refuse to type, and that word is not “gay”. I’ve heard the song, and I don’t think it is offensive to gay people. Whether it’s offensive to anyone else… I mean, it’s got a racial slur in the title. And I realize that word is not a racial slur everywhere. I realize in some parts of the world, it’s even the term that’s preferred by people it describes. But not in Canada. I was a child in Canada in the 90s, and I knew back then that that word is offensive, so I think it’s fair to say that Canadian band Corky and the Juice Pigs should have known that, even in the 90s. It’s a whole big thing here – we recently had the city of Edmonton change the name of a major sports team because you don’t use that word.

Having said that, there are multiple people in the YouTube comments saying they’re Inuit and they love this song. I do actually know a couple of Inuit people who have no problem with that word, but I know others who absolutely hate it. It’s down to the individual, and I wouldn’t tell any Inuit person not to use it. But overall, I would say the problem with the song that has a racial slur in the title is not that it pokes fun at gay stereotypes. It pokes fun at gay stereotypes, it pokes fun at Inuit stereotypes, and as a gay person, I’m authorized to give Phil Nichol and co a pass for one of those things but not the other. I’m happy to grant the pass in this instance (even though I’m not really authorized, as those are pretty specifically gay male stereotypes).

I’ll admit it also makes a difference to me that comedian Scott Capurro, the guy who complained about this, is on Comedy Unleashed these days. So he hasn’t got a lot of cred in the area of complaining that someone else is being offensive toward his minority status.

Honestly, the song isn’t really about gay people or Inuit people. It’s just an excuse to do an impression of a bunch of different bands, which they do entertainingly. I have to admit, I rewatched it just now and it still made me laugh. Here, watch the video and make up your own mind:

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So that’s what Nearly Gay was about. His hour-long rebuttal to Scott Capurro’s claims that he was homophobic because he sang a song about a gay guy being turned on by the North Pole. Some weird beef between a Canadian comedian and an American comedian, that he decided to bring to Edinburgh. Again, I might try harder to see Scott Capurro’s side if he weren’t [I almost linked to a video of him on Comedy Unleashed here, then though better of it, just trust me on this].

2005 was also the year that Daniel Kitson did a show that had a fair bit in it dedicated to refuting a female journalist who called him a misogynist. I guess that was a big year for straight men explaining how people were wrong to call them these things. But I have to say… Phil Nichol made a better case than Daniel Kitson. They both had a point. But Phil Nichol did just happen to have a massive arsenal of stories ready to explain why he might be the most gay-adjacent straight man of the decade.

This was the first Phil Nichol show I saw, when I got into him earlier this year. It certainly made an impression. It takes a while to adjust to Phil Nichol, no matter what you’re watching him do. Just to train your brain to get used to the breakneck pace at which he talks, his relentless enthusiasm. Listening to a Phil Nichol show is like having a conversation with an extremely excitable friend who absolutely cannot fucking wait to tell you about the eighteen different thoughts in his brain at any given second. This is partly because he talks in such a conversational style, if you assume it’s a conversation with someone who’s just ingested a lot of amphetamine-based drugs. “Okay, okay, so then this happened, and okay, I have to tell you this part – yeah, okay, and then, right, he comes up and does this, so I fucking don’t know what to do, right, because what are you supposed to do there, so then I just start screaming, and…” It’s like that. He talks like that. Non-stop. For an hour.

There are a lot of act-outs, both physical and verbal. I’ve never been hugely into physical comedy, and his acts aren’t very physical. It doesn’t really rely on the actions to show you the joke. It’s more than he runs around the stage, he waves his arms around to emphasize his points, every once in a while he’ll bring in a gesture to show you what he means. Like he has more to say than he could possibly say in a lifetime and is trying to get across as much as possible. I like the verbal act-outs, though, if that’s the right term for it, which I’m almost sure it isn’t. There’s probably a word for it. Sound effects? Telling a story, then immediately doing something onomatopoeic to demonstrate how something in the story sounded, then right back into the story. Act-outs with audio description.

It's a wild style, it doesn’t always work. I’m sure it doesn’t work for everyone – I can imagine some people (justifiable) really not liking him. Honestly, I found him a bit of an acquired taste. The first time I watched him, I got about ten minutes in and thought this probably won’t be for me. It took me about twenty minutes to really buy into it. But once I did, I found it very entertaining. He can take up all your attention, draw you right in so you don’t get distracted until he’s done.

Are his jokes well written? Honestly, I have no fucking idea. I suspect not. I cannot, off the top of my head, think of a good joke I’ve heard him tell. Is he using stage presence and delivery to cover for a lack of really strong material? I don’t know, probably. But that should be allowed, shouldn’t it? If it works? If you can still make people laugh? Some people get away with just getting on stage and slipping on banana peels, and because they look funny when they do it, it counts as good comedy (to people who like that sort of thing). So surely Phil Nichol’s stuff counts even if it relies on the way he talks.

He probably does have some good jokes. I don’t know, when I try to pick out individual pieces of his set, thinking too hard about the minutiae of something that intense makes my head hurt. I just sit back, spend an hour with no idea what’s going on, and once it’s over, I realize I had a good time.

The next show I saw him do was The Naked Racist in 2006. Perrier winner. Beat out other nominees David O’Doherty, We Are Klang, Russell Howard, and Paul Sinha for it. I want people to know I wrote that sentence without looking it up, then looked it up, and I was correct. I know too much. The point is that it won this award, and not in a particularly weak year (whether you think it was weak depends on your view of those other four acts, but they’re so different from each other that I think any comedy fan would like at least one of those four - personally I'm partial to all four, at least the 2006 versions of them, they represent four very different sides of what I enjoy about 00s comedy).

This was, essentially, an anti-war show. That was big in 2006. It’s almost weird now, because it’s been so long since the invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq, and advances in technology have made the state of “being at war” so much more nebulous (not that Western countries weren’t attacking Central America and the Middle East and various bits of Africa in covert ways during the twentieth century, but it became a lot more common with increased military technology in relatively recent years), so everyone is always at war. In the early 00s, the idea of the US and the UK being “at war” was a relatively new one, to people who’s grown up in the 70s/80s/90s (again, you do have to ignore a lot of shit to believe that, including some stuff pretty close to home for Britain, but that’s how it seemed), and wanted their countries to continue to be at peace. “Pacifist” was a more coherent political stance then, I think, and more common than it is now.

The Naked Racist is a pacifist show. It’s not a general political show, it’s not a general hippie show, it’s not even only an anti-Iraq war show (although it talks significantly about Iraq) – it’s a show about the specific and coherent political position of pacifism. I find that interesting, just for what it says about the changing political landscape since then.

It’s a show with a pacifist message, but it certainly doesn’t seem like political comedy. It seems like a bunch of stories about doing a lot of drugs and having a lot of sex. Because it is that. It’s a hundred stories all at once, at any given time he’s trying to tell at least eight, before moving on to the next ones. It’s a collection of stories that unfold enough so you realize – okay, I’m pretty sure this is a fairly wild life even for a touring comedian. Sorry, what was that one about the sex club? And it’s not a story of the novelty of the weird time when he walked into a place that turned out to be a sex club. It’s the story of how he likes going to sex clubs and doing drugs and listening to certain music and pushing himself because that makes him feel deeply alive, and it’s something we can all do with our inherent desires to hurt other people, and humanity doesn’t need war, we can all sublimate our violent urges into all this other shit instead. Which might be, you know, a small oversimplification of how deadly global conflicts work. But let him make you believe it for an hour, it’s beautiful.

I should give a warning – there are some N words in this show. Late in the show, at the crux of it. In the most justifiable context that word can have – repeating what got said in another instance while clearly stating that it’s bad that it got said. I just don’t think that particular word has any context that’s actually justifiable. I don’t even want to talk about changing times since 2006, because I don’t think it was any better then than it is now. But also, just because I don’t think context fully absolves him doesn’t mean I won’t consider it at all when judging the show. I enjoyed the show anyway. Just like, I guess, I laughed at the Only Gay song anyway. I will turn against a comedian I otherwise like if I think they say something shitty in a way that clearly shows them to actually be shitty (Alfie Brown). But I don’t think this is that, even though I don’t agree with his choice to use the word. If we start getting rid of anyone who’s ever said that word in any context then we’d have to start with Stewart Lee, and that would be a whole big thing.

The show ends with some other stuff that… completely reasonable people could take issue with. Phil Nichol’s clothes come off, then dancers and other people who are part of the show join him on stage and their clothes come off (that didn’t include anyone I recognized in the DVD recording that’s on NextUp, but the description says that when this was performed in Edinburgh, they had Pappy’s Fun Club and Phil Kay and whatever other comedians they could convince doing it), then the camera pans around to show dancers spread across the crowd taking clothes off, and then they encourage the audience do the same. They don’t, to be clear, try to make anyone do it. It’s a very “join us in this if you want to!” situation. So the audience has a choice of whether to take off their clothes, but not in whether to see a lot of other people do that.

And I do mean all their clothes. Full frontal. I’ve seen a lot of Phil Nichol. I’ve seen all of Phil Nichol, it was on display to the audience and camera.

I think this is a grey area, morally, which can sometimes go from a vague academic discussion into something with consequences. See: Jerry Sadowitz, last year. I should say that I don’t have much of an opinion on the Jerry Sadowitz thing, because I can’t have much of an opinion, I’ve never seen a moment of any of his comedy, much less whatever he did the night he got canceled. I’ve read a bit about what he does, I have an idea of what happened, I’m pretty sure I think the venue was probably right to get rid of him. Probably. But I don’t call that “much of” an opinion because I don’t really know.

I know that last year, part of why his venues canceled on him is they said he took out his dick and showed it to an audience member. And I know that some people defended him by saying seeing dicks is not uncommon at a late-night Edinburgh show, people should know what they’re getting into. And my view on that is… I don’t know enough about it to be sure, I can’t really definitely say. But I know context matters, and my guess is that context is violating. Someone can be okay with the possibility that someone’s dick will come out, without being okay with having it shoved in their face specifically, to humiliate them because the comedian gets mad at them. Phil Nichol got his dick out and jumped up and down for all to see, but he didn’t single anyone out with it.

I have seen enough other Late ‘n’ Live clips to know it is true when people say that sometimes people get their dicks out during late-night Edinburgh shows (or they did, at least – not sure if it’s so common these days). And while full frontal nudity is relatively rare, I’ve seen plenty of comedy things, in stand-up and TV, where a comedian ends up in their underwear. It happens. Sometimes that’s a natural consequence of escalating a bit. And Phil Nichol is nothing if not an escalator of bits.

I think whether it’s okay always depends on context. Is it reasonable to say the audience should have expected the amount of nudity they got? If not, and unsuspecting people had this thrown at them, that’s anything from a shitty and cancel-able comedy show, to a serious crime. If the audience knew what they were getting into, then I think it’s fair to say the comedian didn’t violate anyone. They chose to show up.

I’ve read the description of The Naked Racist (it really is all in the title – I enjoyed this show a lot, but when writing about it, I’ve felt the need to warn people that there is, in fact, nudity and racism in it), and I know a bit about Phil Nichol in general, and I think anyone who’d done those things at the time should have had a reasonable expectation that he might at some point get his dick out. He didn’t spring that on anyone who shouldn’t have known.

Honestly, it looked like fun. I don’t know what the fuck I’d have done if I’d been in that crowd. I mean, I know my clothes would have stayed on. But I don’t know if I’d have been uncomfortable with what was happening around me, or gotten caught up in the excitement of it. Because that’s what it was. That was the idea behind that as the finale – that people should do wild exciting things like take their clothes off, instead of fight wars. Again, an oversimplification of global policy. But it sure looks cathartic.

After that, I went to Go Faster Stripe and bought his 2021 show Your Wrong. That one was very slightly calmer, but no less intense, I think. He was a little older, slightly less animated, but that’s still more animated than most people I’ve ever seen do anything. But the story stayed intense because it was more personal, some fucking striking stories about his family and his upbringing. It explained a lot, to be honest. It was like learning about him out of order. I normally like discovering a comedian’s work in chronological order, so I start with their earlier stuff when they tend to be more autobiographical, and then I get to seeing the person they became as a result of that autobiography. Phil Nichol went the other ways. I heard his wild edgy stories of the wild edgy person he was in 2005 and 2006, and then I skipped to 2021 and heard him tell me how he grew up, and I said, “Oh, that explains a lot.” That he was raised in a hardcore Christian family and then ran off to Britain, where he immediately dedicated his life to drugs and sex clubs to be the opposite of his family.

Well, after having this conversation the other day, I decided to buy another Phil Nichol thing off Go Faster Stripe, his 2015 show that I hadn’t seen yet called I Don’t Wanna Talk About It. I watched it for the first time today. I enjoyed it a lot. He’s still very fucking animated, though a few breaths less mobile than in 2005 and 2006. It’s a breakup show, and I tend to like breakup shows. It’s a show that oscillates wildly between hope and despair, and I tend to like that too. It ends with a traditional really "big finish", including a fakeout and a song, and I like that.

It also had some stuff about Canadian politics, which I really liked. Specific stuff, about our political parties and scandals they've had and the issue of Quebec's separation referendum. I don't see that often. I don't see much Canadian comedy, and political stuff is such a small percentage of any comedy I see. I see huge swathes of British comedy, and still have to pick through just a few comedians to get political stuff. So in my smaller pool of Canadian comedians I'm into, the crossover with political comedy is almost zero. I really enjoyed some jokes about it.

“We had a referendum in Canada – this is true, a true story. I don’t know if you know, but the Bloc Quebecois – a separatist group from French Canada, they want to separate on the grounds that they’re a different people, right – and at one point the Liberal Party in Canada was decimated by a scandal, and so the Bloc Quebecois rose to power, right, and became the Official Opposition in the House of Parliament, against Conservatives, who are right-wing fucking Christian motherfuckers. So, at one point, in the Canadian government, there was all these French guys who wanted to fuck off out of Canada, and a whole bunch of English guys who wanted the French to fuck off out of Canada. It was amazing!”

If you're not from Canada, you should know that extract I just quoted is 100% accurate. He's right, one province's separatist party did become the Official Opposition in our federal government once. People should be making jokes about that all the time.

This show gets into a few specifics of his life that I hadn’t known before. Apparently he grew up in fucking Pickering – I didn’t know that before. I know Pickering well. I live about four hours away from it. There’s a major wrestling team there, and they host several tournaments every year, so I’ve been there to coach a lot. And even when I’m not actually in Pickering, I’ve spent a lot of time with people from there, competing against people from their team in tournaments held in other places.

I kind of love the idea that one of those people raised in that fucking place turned into Phil Nichol. Because that place as I know it is pretty much what he described. Small, insular, reputation-driven, Christian. His show mentions that two of his nieces from that place got pregnant as teenagers, and were shunned by the community as a result (he's the cool uncle in this story, not one of the people doing the shunning). Personally, I know two different people from Pickering who got teenage pregnant or teenage impregnated someone. It’s common there, what with the whole Christian thing, the lack of sex ed and everything that comes with that. I’ve met so many bright promising teenagers from that conservative repressive place, and I've seen how few options they have. I hope every fucking one of them follows in the footsteps of Phil Nichol. I hope they all move to England and do a lot of drugs and make out with women in cars and call into radio stations to tell Daniel Kitson they love him and protest against wars and win major awards for it.

I think I started this post with the idea that it would build up to something, but I can't remember what that thing was anymore, and this seems like as good a note as any on which to end it.

#Youtube

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jangofctts · 3 years

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omg I just read so much of your writing and I’m 🥺🥰🥲🥵 the absolute royalty shit that we see here today. i’ve recently discovered I am very into ~thigh riding~ so do u have any thots on how our boys (especially our clone babes) feel about it? much obliged

IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS ALL DAY KEJHKJRH SO HERE YOU GO OMG

boba: yEs--boba absolutely adORES when you crawl into his lap and straddle his thigh. he’ll either pat his lap and invite you up or it’s one of those times when he’s intentionally ignoring you and you have force your way onto his lap so he has to pay attention. imo the first time you ride his thigh you weren't intending to, you wanted to fuck him but with boba, if you want something from him he’s gonna do it his way or twist it into something to tease you. so he’ll say something like “if you’re so desperate, ride my thigh” or maybe “ride my thigh and then we’ll see if you deserve my cock.” he’ll sit back and enjoy the show with a smug grin, one hand gripping your hip. he’s not controlling your pace, it’s mostly just there as an anchor bc you’re gonna be doing all the work. you’re lucky if you get to ride his bare thigh, but most of the time he’s got pants on so they always end up soaked after you cum and boba always teases you for it, “ruined another pair of pants, little one” but really he isn't even one to talk, he’ll be rock hard and leaking through his pants too. he’ll also nine times out of ten put his fingers or thumb into your mouth to suck on while he flexes and pushes the hard muscle of his thigh up to your cunt. he likes that satisfaction of knowing that even his thigh can make you shudder and whine his name--a bit of a power trip esp if he’s sitting on the throne. he’ll fuck you nice and hard afterwards if you’re a good little princess for him

din: din wants you to ride the beskar thigh plating. he doesn't realize it’s a thing he finds arousing until you sit over his thigh and he sees the heat from your thighs fog up the metal while your arousal smears over the shiny beskar. literally it’s like something just CRACKS in him and he goes feral for it. a dark thrill that comes from seeing your cunt drip over his precious armor, something so sacrilegious that shouldn't be arousing but it’s the hottest thing he’s ever seen. sure, it’s a bit cold at first but the more you get into it the quicker it heats up--it’s slippery too, not a lot of friction unless you drag your clit over the seams of the armor, but with din’s hands holding onto your hips and dragging you over his thigh, it’s not long before you cum. din is gonna be encouraging you the whole time, just a constant flow of praise and little moans of his own. he might bury a hand in your hair or slip off his glove and touch your clit when your hips roll up into his hand. he’d loose his mind if you lended a hand and palmed him through his pants. he doesn't even care if he ruins his trousers, he’s just so...fixated on the hypnotic motions of your hips rolling over his thigh, your wetness dripping off the plating and onto the floor. he might focus on your mouth, parted with gasping moans or how they roll the syllable of his name. he likes to watch you come undone like this, shuddering and whiney as you cum and eventually roll off his thigh. he probably busts a nut right then and there if you start to roll your tongue over the beskar, happily cleaning up the mess you made. but....sometimes...lick it off himself just to get a taste of you

paz: big boy blue ALSO likes when you ride his beskar, but he likes it better when the armor is off and he gets to feel your wetness for himself. he has big ol’ beefy thighs and likes when you straddle one and start to ride him like that. imo he likes it when youre pressed up right near his cock so when you roll forward your own thigh brushes against his cock. it’s also just easier for him to grab your hips, set a pace and watch you squirm and whine. ngl he’s more interested in fucking you, so he’ll get cheeky and start jerking his thigh or holding you in place while he circles his thumb over your clit. p much will sabotage your wild ride and convince you to slide onto his cock instead. though,....if you were to tie him up, tease him bye riding his thigh, he might like that :)

rex: oH rexY BOY--listen, rex has heard ALL about thigh riding, or rather what the clones like to call it, “paint job”. he doesn't understand the big deal, thinks that it’d be a complete hassle to clean and what not. in my oPiNiOn he’ll be sitting with you in an empty break room or on a couch, you both have feelings for each other but nothing's been said yet. somehow the topic of paint jobs come up and he tells you what he thinks and how it “couldn't possibly feel good, blah blah blah”. you just roll your eyes and you ask if he’s even tried it. he definitely blushes and mumbles out a no and with a leap of faith you ask him if he wants you to ride his thigh. baby boy rex gets very shy and embarrassed about it but he’s not gonna say no. so you’ll flash him a little grin and peel off your pants and your over shirt, make rex relax against the back of the couch/chair and sit over his plastoid covered thigh. even though when you start to grind on his thigh you still have your underwear on, rex with pick a corner of the room to just stare at. it’s not because he doesn't like you, he’s just incredibly shy and afraid he’ll cum in his pants if he looks at you. you gotta cup his jaw and force him to look at you. when that happens his eye will immediately drop to between your legs and just moan at the sight. he gets it now. seeing your arousal that’s already leaking through the thin fabric and staining the blue and white plastoid--he has to grip the fucking sidearm to anchor himself. his armor is one of the only things that he owns and is proud of, so seeing you riding his thigh, moaning and whimpering his name he goes wild for that shit. unfortunately he does end up cumming in his pants but eh fuck it. it was worth it

cody: he likes when you ride his thigh in semi public places like the 79′s, debrief room, gunships, you name it. imma explain the 79′s scenario bc im a whore but anyway, cody likes to bring you on dates there, one because the drinks are free for him, two it’s dark and so unless someone is really looking at the two of you, it’s pretty secluded. he always chooses a back corner table and after a couple drinks you start to get handsy--nuzzling his neck and wiggling your fingers between the gaps separating his thigh and codpiece. it alWAYS starts like that. cody will chuckle, push his nose into your neck and nibble a line up to your ear, then bite down onto the cartilage. in that dark, rumbly voice he might sigh “such a depraved little creature. we’re in public”. but you can feel his smile and how is pulse quickens under your fingertips. cody will sigh and shake his head as he pulls you onto his lap, bUT--he’s gonna have you with your back to his chest plate, your dress/skirt/pants rolled up or down just barely in the view of anyone who glances over or looks a little closer. it’d be no secret what you both were up to but cody likes that. dude doesn't have any shame and so he’ll wrap an arm over your hip, push you panties to the side and slide his fingers through your folds. once they're coated in your arousal he might pop them into his mouth or yours, clean them off then flex his thigh onto your pussy. when he asks you to grind on his thigh you readily agree. while you ride his thigh he’ll nibble at your throat and suck bruises onto your skin, either watching your wet pussy slide over the plastoid armor or on the look out in case one of his brothers comes near. one time, just as you started to cum, a couple fresh shiny’s got an entire eyeful of you arching and burying your nose into cody’s neck as he rolled his fingers over your clit. safe to say they were a bit spooked--but of course, cody thought it was the funniest thing and couldn't stop laughing even if you were close to tears with embarrassment. now....he doesn't invite anyone to watch, but he wouldn't say no to a few prying eyes

wolffe: I feel like with wolffe, it’s gonna be right after a mission--one of you might've almost died or gotten real hurt so he’s not thinking about fucking you properly--he just want his mouth on yours, hands buried in your hair as he pins you against the wall. I dont think he initially meant for you to ride his thigh, but when he wedges it between your legs and you moan into his mouth the second he increases the pressure, he freezes. he’ll do it again and when it receives the same reaction from you he smirks and tugs on your hair and might say smthn like “you like that? if you wanted to ride my thigh you could've asked sooner”. he’s either focused on your face or on your pussy, just soaking up all your little reactions or twitches when you roll your cunt over the plastoid. he'll have both hands on your hips, helping you grin up on him, while you either cup his face or grip his arm. either way youre in for a wild fucking ride--wolffe tbh wants to see his armor dripping by the time he’s done with you. sO do nOT be surprised if he just, doesn't let you stop, pushes you to keep going until he’s satisfied. imo I think he’ll make you lick it up after, or just in general would really Like It if you run your tongue over any part of his armor. he likes to be Appreciated :)

wrecker (im sorry I just nEEDed to include him kejkejh): honestly since baby boy wrecker is uh, so big, thigh riding is some of the first things you try with him. you’ll both be butt ass naked bc it’s just easier to explore like this, and while wrecker is eager he knows he has to think about his strength in order not to overwhelm or hurt you unintentionally. he’s a bit of a goof ball so when you straddle his thigh and bring his thicC fingers to your cunt he’ll smile and say some shit like “wow, you’re wet” or like “is it always this wet/soft?” he doesn't mean for it to be teasing, it's more like he’s just stating a fact bc he’s curious about you. you just nod and say it’s all for you, baby/only for you. the second you put your cunt over his thigh he’ll curse and clamp his hands around your hips or ribcage, and just to make the experience all that better for him, you’ll jerk him off while you ride him. wrecker is very vocal/loud and so you’ll know exactly what you’re doing that he likes--he’ll probably tell you how pretty you look, or how good you smell etc., that bOY IS SO FULL OF LOVE and just wants to tell you! it doesn't take long for him to spill into your hand, he shakes and no doubt wakes up half the barrack/ship but who the fuck cares. you just smile and continue to ride his thigh, chasing your own thigh. once he recovers a bit, you can grab his fingers and show him how you like to be touched. he’s a surprisingly quick learner with this and so it doesn't take long for you to cum. afterwards he’ll run his fingers over his thigh, collect the mess you left and taste you and maybe say “you should ride my face. can we do that?”

#yeeHAW this was #whEW #jkkjehr #boba fett x reader #din djarin #paz vizsla x reader #commander wolffe x reader #wrecker tcw #wrecker x reader #boba fett #paz vizsla #captain rex x reader #captain rex #commander wolffe #commander cody #the bad batch #my writing

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lady-raziel · 4 years

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hey i’m the person who watched all of unus annus in a week! because unus annus was really my introduction to ethan and mark, i haven’t seen any of their other content. do you have any recommendations for what to watch from them?

i do! i’m sure that other people will add their recommendations and this certainly isn’t an exhaustive list, but here are some of my personal favorites!

First of all, the Gingerbread House Building Challenge is one of my all time favorite videos, and one of the funniest in my opinion. It features Mark and Ethan, as well as their friend Tyler too. Absolutely check this one out.

youtube

Next, if you liked the kind of energy Unus Annus had, I’d recommend you check out Ethan’s ‘We’re NOT Eating Peanuts” video. It kind of feels like an UA video but before UA was a thing.

youtube

If you liked the silly “trying crazy things” energy of Unus Annus and want to see more of Mark and Ethan together, the “Markiplier Makes” series is good for that. Most videos feature Mark, Ethan, and Tyler doing crazy silly shit, and it’s got some good laughs.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL3tRBEVW0hiDtWbfQx3THissyfLsfwT4z

Now for some of Mark and Ethan’s individual videos/projects:

If you haven’t watched A Heist with Markiplier, this is the FIRST thing you need to watch. It’s the most recent big project from Mark and is AMAZINGLY well made. It’s a choose-your-own-adventure type thing, and it’s very fun!

youtube

Heist ties into Mark’s ongoing fictional lore-verse that features different iterations of Mark called “Egos” including characters like Darkiplier and Wilford Warfstache. If you watch Heist and like it, definitely check out Who Killed Markiplier, Wilford Motherloving Warfstache, and A Date with Markiplier too.

As you might know Mark was also for a very long time mainly a gaming youtuber, so he has years and years of gameplay videos. All of the Five Nights at Freddy’s ones are pretty famous and kind of what catapulted him into the level of fame he has nowadays.

youtube

Mark’s Subnautica series is also very good and very long if you need something to binge-watch.

One of my personal favorite series is his playthrough of Firewatch, but probably just because that was the first video series of Mark’s that I watched. It’s a super pretty game and I loved hearing Mark just go on a bit about his childhood over the course of playing the game.

youtube

Some other random videos I love are the playthrough of the fan-made game Hearts and Heroes, as well as the hilarious time Mark did Grand Theft Auto roleplay with “Stan the Water Man.”

https://youtu.be/jHcbLgNQ4Co

https://youtu.be/VhN5vrJLWgA

For Ethan, I’ve loved watching his most recent Among Us playthroughs. They’re a ton of fun and addictive to watch!

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLAU1boowJkqAourBP1uLj5BX_qO8g_Zvc

I also love the couple videos he did on Just Cause 3, but that might be because I’m super biased and that’s one of my favorite games of all time lmao

https://youtu.be/B7WWqcqYm2g

Ethan also did a great Undertale playthrough, which is great if you like the game and even better if you haven’t!

https://youtu.be/TIfoTvsMaYY

If you want some more chaotic Unus Annus-like Eef energy, try Ethan’s “ASMR cooking” videos, they’re all WILD

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIOgcSi59KU&list=PLAU1boowJkqApcphoeZ0eQUv1u0HIolEr

Whew, okay, I’ll stop there, I don’t want to overload you with videos. But I hope you like these suggestions and discover some of the other stuff Mark and Ethan have to offer! They’ve both been on Youtube for ages before Unus Annus, so they have years and years of great videos to check out! Enjoy!

#long post #mossytoad69 #asks

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nekasu · 3 years

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SnapCube’s Until Dawn Real-Time Fandub Sentence Starters (Part 1)

"I didn't bring my phone. It was in my other pants!" "This is a really long high five." "...I won't tell anyone about this." "Ya see, that's a joke thinger." "Can you see me? Don't answer that." "Who talks to screens? Maybe you can." "We're here in a strange time at a strange place." "Hopefully you enjoyed whatever the hell THIS video was." "When those girls died? That was funny." "My phone still has battery? Holy shit, I gotta keep that warm." "I'm trying to get like 100% on Animal Crossing." "Check it out, I have this gun. It's really really cool." "Are you McCree from Overwatch, hit video game?" "Make sure you don't shoot any guys with that." "Never mind, I do have the key. I just found it in my pocket." "We're all just really good beans at the end of the day." "Why did you hit me? That hurt so much!" "Sorry, I've been in jail a while." "My arm really hurts. Do you have any first aid?" "I just got off the big train in the sky." "This is my Smash invitation and frankly, I deserve it." "It was gonna be a surprise for your birthday, motherfucker!" "Jesus, everyone is so rude. What is this, Rude Mountain?" "This mountain fucking sucks." "I'm here to be rude to people." "I think this is sus. He's definitely the impostor." "As a gamer, I know all about Among Us." "Is this...Tamriel?" "Well, that's a cliff." "No, you got arms!" "I don't speak corn." "Grab my stinky hand!" "I will live on in the vibes!" "No, that's too fast! Oh, god!" "2x4? You're not even a 1x1." "You look so stupid right now." "Hehe, I'm under the bed now!" "It was for a prank video. Come on!" "It's fine, honestly. She has a blanket." "Women never listen to me when I talk..." "Everything's a big deal when you make it." "Oh my god she has pants! What the fuck?!" "No one told me I was wearing pants today!" "It's pretty cold because it's DEAD of winter!" "Hey, tree! Look at me, I'm looming right now!" "Not a blanket, but maybe I can keep you warm." "This fuckin' candle doesn't keep me warm at all.” "At least you're not calling it 'arm pants' this time." "Oh, wow! SHE'S looming! Oh, she can teach me!" "I don't want to play any of your Among Us games." "I have this weird feeling someone's looming around here." "Answer a question for me: how are you feeling today? YEAH!" "Well now, wise guy. Let's see who among us really is the funniest." "Helloooo there! I am Doctor Rabbit. The world's only rabbit rabbit." "Whoa, that guy was straight up looming! I wish I could loom like that.” "Was that that Anus Unnus guy?" "Hey, babe, you wanna go and record a blog with me?" "So are my pranks as good as Markiplier?" "Wait, when did they get the hugging perk?!" "See, that's what I think of your problems, is that they're just some sort of joke." "Got in real trouble with the locals, I did. They don't let me back there." "Maybe you're just trying to be woke or something." "Your insurance isn't covering these sessions, by the way." "We can send, like, aura to each other. You know like, uh, vibes." "I don't guess, I know. I never guess, I know everything. I do the math." "Two plus two equals you're my friend. Just kidding, it's four." "I just hurt all of my bones." "High five? No, you're too far away. My bad." "Did you solve my wolverine puzzle?" "Did you know doors hurt?" "Everyone has a raccoon!" "Why don't you keep it to yourself, tough guy?" "Save the fight until I have the camera ready, okay?" "That's not a view, that's a snow." "I think you're in the corridor of the monkey." "If you throw that me, I'm gonna fuckin' flip my goddamn lid." "You want some snow, bitch?!" "Lady? Girl? ...I should really learn her name." "Water's looking a little green, that's just the way I like it." "Did the ghosts take my friends again?" "I'm actually half ghost." "Is that a lightsaber? Like from Star Trek?" "I'm gonna level with you, I hate being in the same room as you." "BOOOOOOOOOOOK!" "You like the new office? I fuckin' don't." "You didn't read through the contract, did you kiddo?" "I can get fucked? Finally!" "Even the ghost agrees." "I should have fucking known. This ghost is such a libro." "That's great and all, but I'm gonna look like a jackass!" "This is what happens when you pull mean pranks. God punishes an elk." "THAT was a HEALING spell?! Oh god!" "Door key? You're pretty dorky!" "I can imagine a lot of dipshits, in fact." "Get un-naked! Get un-naked! Get un-naked! Get un-naked!" "I'm casting a hex on you now. Have fun getting hexed, idiot." "See? The Kinect causes psychic powers." "I can't believe Blue's freakin' clue is on here." "Ugh...I freaking hate doors." "Blue save me..." "Telling them the vibes made you do it won't hold up in a court of law." "Oh, would you look at the time. It's time for me to rip you a new one again!" "I cannot wait, but I suppose I'll have to." "The hex worked great. Now let's see if I can go shoot what remains of her." "I love running through the forest like a fucking weirdo." "You look like an idiot on the ground there." "If I have anything to say about it, you won't make it back." "I wanna see you, whatever you are, you funny-looking fellow." "Why do I have so much trouble with doors?" "Hey, funny voice! Fuck off, please!" "It's a saw trap, you dumb piece of shit!"

"Seems mysterious, but I won't shoot him this time. Gotta weaken him with the hex." "You're gonna get fucked if you can't say goodbye to a ghost. Trust me on that one." "Hey, uh, do you wanna stop having trouble with doors, now'd be a phantasmical time!" "Unless you want to work with me here, well...we're gonna be stuck here until dawn." "Not like you've ever done anything on purpose in your entire life, you fucking hack." "What, not even a goddamn laugh? Oh, it's gonna be a rough fuckin' couple weeks." "I can't believe I made it up to Rude Mountain only to be discovered by rude people." "I've got all my gamerscore on my phone, so I'm hoping that nobody really touched it.” "That's pretty cringe of you, buddy. I'm gonna put you in my Cringe Tuesday compilation." "If I wanted to talk about beans, I'd hang around with the fuckin' Among Us crew down there." "You know what? I have two arms, so I guess I CAN carry both of them at the same time." "I just got my lips unstuck. Aw, geez. I've been trying to talk to you guys this whole time." "I left some beans in my backpack. They might be a few years old, but they don't really expire." "I should've known that coming to Rude Mountain would have made you worse as a person." "I've just been playing a lot of Among Us recently and I've just been trying to really get good at lying. "Oh, so NOW you're a funny guy, huh? You think you got your own jokes?! Ya think this is stand up?!" "I have blankets in the back, but I'm gonna go to the front just to see if I can spice things up a little." "I'm here to help you, and whaddya do? You spit in my goddamn face! ...Metaphorically, of course.” "What do you take me for, some kind of clown?! Some kind of Boo Boo the Fool that ain't done this rodeo before?!" "Here at therapy we're here to answer the one big burning question everyone's got: what the FUCK is wrong with you?" "I noticed you don't have much of a sense of humor. That might explain all the shit you've gotten into recently, wouldn't it?" "Well with my ten step plan I'll be happy to go plumb the depths of your sad, scared little mind and see what makes you...tick, as it were."

#memes #just went through the whole part 1 making this #feel free to reblog #long post #own memes

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sunnysilver8 · 3 years

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Lemme Go Off About Philza Minecraft

Admittedly I discovered Phil somewhat recently (only about 3-4 months ago) but he is wonderful and deserves all of the praise.

Not only is he a comforting dad who gives his chat advice, he's a chaotic being who works really well with other streamers.

It's extremely obvious that off stream, he cares a lot about Wilbur, Tommy, Techno and Tubbo, and they care for him back. They simultaneously have sibling vibes, friend vibes, and dad vibes.

If Phil sees someone weird in his chat, he tells Tommy and Tubbo so they can ban them. He helped Tommy choose a new computer. In (both) SMPs he and Techno made an awesome team. Wilbur and Phil talking about anteaters and eating sand is some of the funniest shit I've ever seen.

And in return, everyone loves and respects Phil. Tommy likes to just hang out and chat with Phil after streaming, and Phil can tell when he's crashing and getting sleepy 🥺. Tommy, Tubbo and Wilbur (and Vikkstar) went off on the Sidemen for daring to disrespect him (even though it was a bit). Tubbo bought him a gamer dad shirt.

Overall, he's such a genuine person and he deserves all of the praise. Please share your favorite things about Phil in reblogs/comments, since I know there is a lot more great things about Phil that I missed.

#philza minecraft #sleepy bois #sleepy bois inc #teamphil #mcyt #dadza

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moqra · 3 years

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Thanks for the tag Kait 💖 (@diaz-eddie )

Why did you choose your URL?

Because I love Schmico ❤ I've thought about changing it to maybe a Nico centric one or a neutral one but we'll see.

How long have you been on tumblr?

Not that long I'm a baby in tumblr years, 3 years I think. I was lurking here for a few months before I finally bit the bullet and made an account.

Do you have a queue tag?

I don't have one. I should though.

Why did you start your blog in the first place?

For the love of all things Schmico. Nobody in my irl cared about Nico as much as I did lol. I'm glad I found my fellow Nico fans.❤

Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

I looovvveee space!Alex.💖 Nobody can see it but I edited it a lil and I love it. He looks so pretty.

Why did you choose your header?

I'm a gif loser but I like to play around with pics and I wanted sth different than my previous all pink layout. I really like the colours of my current one.

What’s your post with the most note?

I don't really have a v popular post but maybe this one?

How many mutuals do you have?

How many followers do you have?

340

How many people do you follow?

Have you ever made a shitpost?

does that linked post count as a shitpost?

How often do you use tumblr each day?

A few times each day unless I've taken break.

Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

A few people have attempted to start shit but I mostly block/ignore. I'm not here to fight with clearly racist, *insert white character who's done way worse things* apologists.

How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

Too anxiety inducing for me and for other people, I don't do them.

Do you like tag games?

I do, I love them. Kait is my tag game partner.❤

Do you like ask games?

I'm more likely to send asks in an ask games because I rarely reblog them myself and when I do nobody sees them :(

Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

Crista ( @glassesandkim ) the OG bnf Nico fan. Co-founder of the Kim clan hcs. One of the best writers here, and the kindest,most welcoming person in the fandom.💗

Sibel (@orthoglasses) also a co-founder of the Kim clan hcs. The most talented person I know here, she sings, she writes, she makes gifs, video edits she does everything. Also one of the funniest people here.💗

Alie (@buckleys-diaz ) very clearly tumblr famous in every fandom she's in because of her amazing gifs and edits. (Her whole blog is why I thought Buddie was canon, her power.)💗

Do you have a crush on a mutual?

Yess Kaittt ,who I've v recently discovered is tumblr famous too.💖

And Crista, who recognises me as her co-number one fan.💖

Tagging (no pressure) : @pb-nj @herrera-n-hayes @schmico-shenanigans

#tag games #things I'm tagged in

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keepyourpantsongohan · 4 years

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Ayesha Liveblogs Death Note

I’m watching this show specifically because of that text post that said, “Watch how quickly this one guy decides to be the worst person ever” and he has killed two people in the first ten minutes

Though 2 be fair he’s killing people to save people so it’s a trolley problem kind of thing for now

“In fact I’ve been waiting for you... Ryuk” ok weird flex Light but u do u

“You’re the first one to use to this extent in five days” WAIT DID HE MURDER ALL THOSE PEOPLE IN FIVE DAYS I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST LOOKING AT A LIST OH MY GOD??

“So there isn’t a price to using Death Note?” said Light, as if killing people is just a normal thing that we all do

Fhkjfhfkjb Ryuk really went ‘u used the book so we’re friends now’

I was wondering why the book was in English, and I guess that makes sense British and American imperialism really Did That

“I can write down the names of criminals, and slowly reduce the number of evil people” uhhhh doesn’t u being a Book Murderer also make you a criminal Light

“Human lives shouldn’t be taken so lightly” bah dum tss

Also I guess that revelation lasted about thirty seconds for you huh

Update from 15 seconds later: Even less than that

“I would create a world of earnest, kind humans” really because I don’t think places that allow the death penalty are generally nicer societies

It’s interesting that they use English in the classes and the notebook but the conversation at Interpol takes place in Japanese (despite the implied internationality and Ryuk’s aforementioned claim about English being most common)

Huh I won’t lie I do think it’s confusing that the main characters are L and Light, which also starts with L

“I am justice” I mean if anything this show just proves that no one should be allowed to use the death penalty on apprehended suspects in criminal justice cases ever

OH SHIT PLOT TWIST HIS DAD’S A COP (IT WAS IN THE TEXT POST I THINK BUT I FORGOT)

Wow this show is full of mind games already I guess I can see why like, crime show fans would dig it

“But I’m going to say this as your roommate” OH MY GOD THEY WERE ROOMMATES KJHRGKJHKJHG

Interesting that someone is following Light specifically already

I mean not to poke too many holes in your plan Light but wouldn’t it clash with your plan to become God if you die at like 35 or smth

“You’re already much more of a shinigami than they are” Ryuk said my friends are BORING I want to hang out with this MURDER TEEN

“I may not look it, but I’m pretty popular” Light is exactly the kind of guy who ends up in a true crime special where a bunch of people say he seemed like a nice, charismatic young man

Man this poor girl that Light brought on this date is going to be straight traumatized after this

I mean isn’t it MORE suspicious if someone dies around someone with direct ties to the police even if it’s not a heart attack

“You were indeed a brilliant FBI agent once, but now you’re my fiancée” kjhfkjhg WHAT FBI AGENTS CAN’T BE MARRIED

“Once we have a family, you’ll be so busy that you’ll forget that you were an agent” I’m not a fan of Raye Penber

What’s the point in killing Raye at all???? He told you he was part of a special investigation so clearly he’s not that suspicious of you

Light sure is bold to announce his Killing People Experiments in the middle of a busy sidewalk

Incredible that consistently no one notices Light’s increasingly threatening declarations????

Fjkfkfhk these five cops finding out their Hail Mary is this strange little goblin man,,,, wow

This woman has really pushed Light to the brink just by giving a fake name, I admire her tenacity

Cops wearing fake IDs really did not age well oh boy

SERIOUSLY HOW DOES NO ONE EVER HEAR LIGHT SAYING SUSPICIOUS THINGS IN PUBLIC THOROUGHFARES HE LITERALLY JUST SAID “I AM KIRA” AS A DETECTIVE WALKED BY, WHILE HE WAS TALKING TO SOMEONE HE KILLED IMMEDIATELY AFTER

Wow it really took only eight episodes for L to track Light as close as one of two families

“You have a wife and daughter, right?” “I know!” I mean..... not 2 be that guy but... cops

“To me, apples are like... Well, like cigarettes and liquor to humans” Vcvhcjhj every once in a while Ryuk says something that really tickles me

I know the word sociopath is kind of outdated but man does Light have actual interests outside of school or does he just do stuff to fill the void of his lack of interests (outside of murder)

JKHGKJHGKJHKJHG I cannot believe that this has turned into a fake classmate situation first of all 1) are you going to become friends and 2) How old are you Ryuzaki/L?

“Where is that rich kid from? And he’s even at the top of his class? What a jerk” honestly a mood

I DESPERATELY want Light’s mother or sister to overhear his evil cackling will someone finally eavesdrop on this god complex

“If I sit normally, my reasoning skills drop by 40%” weird flex but same

Sidenote: I can’t believe how many episodes of this show I already have watched

Ngl I was VERY shook that Mr. Yagami had a heart attack. Also does Light care if his family lives or dies or is he kind of neutral on the subject?

“If Kira is an ordinary person who gained this power, then he is a very unlucky person” Dad and L said ‘if u ARE Kira could you please stop murdering thank you <3′

Light really underestimated how much cops hate anyone who has killed a cop oops

OH SO IT’S NOT LIGHT I WAS WONDERING WHY HE HAD NOT MADE AN APPEARANCE THIS WHOLE EPISODE U MEAN THERE ARE TWO GUYS WITH THIS EXACT SAME IDEOLOGY AND PLAN? INCREDIBLE

Update from ten seconds later: Two people, I guess

Well this explains the girl in the short dress which serves as the Netflix thumbnail of this show I was wondering when she would show up

Also she sounds like she’s very young? Clearly Shinigami don’t have a minimum age of informed consent when it comes to their Murder Eyes Contract

Hahah I bet Light didn’t imagine that his petty and fucked up apple joke would bite him so quickly in the ass

Dhkjdhdkjhd Misa is so bold dropping her Death God deets in a video for anyone to see

“The way to kill a Shinigami, is to make them fall in love with a human” does this mean that Ryuk is going to fall in love with Light or Misa? Both would make me uncomfortable

Oh wild guess Misa became a Death Note Wielder through the Power of Unreciprocated Voyeuristic Love

“Yeah, I have a girlfriend now,” said Light, after a girl contacted him through a series of anonymous video tapes implicitly vowing to be his disciple

“No one could tell who he’s attached to if I’m with this many people” [20 seconds pass] “Found him!” HAHAHA the funniest part of this show is consistently watch Light going “got ‘em” before it immediately is revealed that he doesn’t got ‘em

Why is Light so incredibly searchable??? I think the only way people people could find my height online is if I happened to answer it for one of those Facebook note memes in 2007 lmaoooo

“There are many places that will go and sell your personal records” ah, data breaches; a problem that has not gotten any better in the last 15 years since this anime came out

HKJHFHKJFHF Light immediately jumping into fake-dating his weird disciple in front of his mom... what is this show

“Please make me your girlfriend” OH MY GOOOOOD

This is one of the weirdest romantic dynamics I’ve seen in recent memory but you know what? Whatever, at least it’s not Anxiety and Murder

“Does that mean I’ll have to deal with her until she dies?” Light is truly exuding some Ladybird Book of Dating Energy rn:

The fact that to kill L all Light had to do was get an obsessive girlfriend... astounding

Beautiful that it took Misa less than a week of knowing Light to ruin his whole 15 episode game plan and also life

“I think I may be Kira” Well this show keeps taking one escalation after another this is exhausting why can’t Light just be a normal person who found it, tried it out of interest in the occult, discovered he’d committed a horrible atrocity and then went to therapy for the rest of his life only to confess to Magical Murder on his deathbed while his family goes, ‘Wow, Grandpa’s crazy’

Does L not think that keeping three different people imprisoned for days on end will lead to some psychological repercussions for him

FOR WEEKS ON END????? OH MY GOD???? The fuck L, I know two of these people are murderers but there are some minimum conditions of correctional facilities and this seems a little Stanford PE

THE DRAMA OF THIS EPISODE I KNEW IT WAS GONNA BE A BLANK BUT HOW FUCKED UP TO PUT EVERYONE THROUGH THIS L I THINK YOU NEED THERAPY!!!!!!! I MEAN LIGHT AND MISA ARE MURDERERS BUT FORCING A MAN TO HOLD HIS SON AT GUNPOINT AFTER IMPRISONING THEM FOR OVER A MONTH IS REALLY A REFLECTION OF A COMPLETE LACK OF EMPATHY (especially when you think that this version of Misa and Light don’t know anything!!! Oh my god!! The fuck)

“I will make arrangements so you and I are together 24 hours a day” call me crazy but I would not want to spend 24/7 with the man who imprisoned me for over a month while playing cruel psychological games all the while

“I’m one of those people who’ll accept Kira, I’d think of ways I could help him” Misa said Bimbo Rights

“I could never toy with a woman’s emotions like that” Light’s dating life and personality has gotten a LOT funnier since he forgot he was a murderer I kind of wish THIS could be the whole show

Also: Nice to know Light USED to have standards of how to treat women

Honestly fair play to both L and Light they both deserved to be punched and it’s funny to see eighteen episodes of mind games culminate in punching and kicking each other in the face

“Matsuda’s being an idiot again” “Well, Matsuda is a natural at that” wghkjhgkj what has Matsuda done to any of you

"He’s punishing criminals as a front, and killing people for the benefit of this company” is Light unknowingly going to solve the murder chain he himself started... inspiring

“I was testing you” this is why Light is your only friend, L, Aizawa has kids and it’s a dick move to ask him to put his convictions before them

Poor Matsuda realizing he’s got the least to offer to their team... me in high school science labs

I understand Aizawa’s moral crisis but why do NONE of these cops care about their wives or daughters they’re just kind of like, ‘I will provide for you but I have no interest in or fulfillment from being part of your life’ (ACAB)

Matsuda is truly about to die for being dumb and eager to help 😔 Rest in Pieces

“We must not allow Yotsuba to figure out that we are investigating them,” said L, just after it cut from Matsuda being obvious about investigating them. Oh Matsuda 😔 you’re so bad at your job 😔

MATSUDAAAAAAAA oh thank goodness; Bimbo Rights save the day

“I can’t go along with your idea, it’s wrong!” said Light, despite the fact it took him 15 seconds to get over murder the first couple of times he did it

Staaaaaaaaay Good Light, I don’t want ur Deathnotesona I want this young man with moral convictions!!

The level of hubris it takes to answer a phone call during your secret Murder Meeting while people continue to talk about their Murder Plans is just out of this world

“If I die, you could probably become the successor to the ‘L‘ name,” said L, to the person he has been trying to catch for twenty episodes

“I won’t say anything under any kind of torture” “Yes that’s true” Which he knows because he tortured her for six weeks!! You see that that’s fucked up, L, right? RIGHT??? RIIIIIIIIGHT? (LIIIIIIIGHT???)

Seriously not to beat a dead Shinigami but Light is so much better like this. He doesn’t want to throw people’s lives away for the investigation! He wants to protect Misa! He thinks Kira is wrong! Why does he have to be a murderer!!! Why can’t this show be about a nice young man!!!!

“Hey Ryuzaki, that’s messed up!” THANK YOU LIGHT AGAIN I KNOW YOU BOTH HAVE KILLED PEOPLE BUT YOU DON’T KNOW THAT RIGHT NOW SO FOR ALL MISA KNOWS HE’S JUST A GUY WHO TORTURES HER AND TELLS HER CRUSH WILL DIE IF SHE DOESN’T HELP

Wow Rem is so ride or die for Misa protecting Misa from creepy Higuchi, giving her info and telling her to trust Light, that’s love bitch

Props to Misa for getting a confession out of Higuchi after one (1) car ride

Why do I feel like L is going to be responsible for reawakening Bad Light is it because he psychologically tortured him for six weeks? Had his dad hold him at gunpoint? Forced Misa to investigate on his behalf? Constantly and unerringly presses him on what Kira would be thinking as he’s handcuffed to him 24 hours a day? Maybe!! This is like Build-a-Bear but he’s customizing his Teen Murder Friend

“Only Mr. Matsuda can do [the mission to lure out Higuchi!Kira]” Death Note really said the Himbos, Herbos and Thembos shall inherit the Earth

They keep saying they don’t know how he kills but it seems pretty obvious that he writes down their names to kill, they literally saw him do it

I really don’t want any of the investigation team to die but things are not looking hot :(

“Ryuzaki, I never knew you could fly a helicopter” “It’s just intuition” what does that MEAN

“Those aren’t allowed in Japan,” said Light, about a gun, as if he had not killed probably thousands of people without one

In spite of this fact I really do want Good Light to stay 😔 Why! Can’t! This! Show! Be! About! A! Nice! Young! Man!

Also they really are playing into this father-and-son duo I will be very sad when the dad inevitably dies as I’m sure he will

Family side note: I’ve been wondering this since the prison ep but where do Light’s mom and sister think he IS now that he’s dropped out of first year uni to be a teen criminal investigator handcuffed to a maladjusted homebody private eye

AIZAWAAA and also the other two guys I guess there was a plot relevant reason for him to rejoin the police huh

Well what a clean ending to this Kira arc. No one died and the killer was caught! Yikes that the next ep is called ‘Revival’ tho 😔 Rest in pieces Good Light

Also a new and very threatening intro???? What happened to the Twilight Apple Hands

BOOOO I knew Light would get his memory back but I was hoping it would at least fuck him up for a while he sorted out his two personas but I guess all roads eventually lead to Bad Light

Full disclosure I stopped watching for a few days just after Light got his memory back and let me tell u coming back later hasn’t made it any more tolerable I am truly not built for this EUGH

“Do you really want to halve your life a second time” “Well, that can’t be helped” REALLY???? CAN’T IT BE HELPED MISA??? WHY ARE YOU AND LIGHT SO CRAZY

Oh I guess we’re back to Light saying incredibly suspicious things right near the investigators lmao what if those cameras secretly had audio or you know, L simply knew how to read lips

“Misa, let’s make a new world together” Remember a bunch of episodes ago when Good Light was all ‘I could never toy with a woman’s emotions’?? What was the reason!!!

“Have you ever told the truth at any point in your entire life” L cutting straight to the core lmao (also the answer is obviously ‘no’)

This show has taken a jarring tonal shift why are they having a post-rain-confrontation massage and towelling each other off this is a level of intimacy I was not prepared for I NEED PEOPLE TOOK LOOK AT THIS:

OKAY OKAY OKAY I KNOW THAT IT WAS PROBABLY NOT THEIR INTENTION BUT THE ONLY WAY I CAN READ THIS SCENE IS AS “Don’t kill me Light~ 🥰 I’ll fuck you~ 🥰”

I guess L knew he was forcing Rem’s hand to kill him if he disproved the rules written in the book?? But to what end omg how does this help anyone

“In April 2012, Light Yagami, age 23, joins the National Police Agency” should’ve known we’d land here eventually (ACAB)

Ah, I see another person who doesn’t know how to sit, clearly they will inherit the L title next lmao

Update from the first few mins of the next ep: “Near should succeed L” told you

“There’s no way I’m letting Sayu marry a detective” ahjfkhkjf he’s a little old for her I think but it wouldn’t be the worst thing this show has done romantically lmao; maybe Sayu would get to investigate her brother

“I might’ve considered going out with you, if you were a little younger” HA GOOD FOR HER

“[...] the Japanese police are unreliable. In order to solve this case, we want you to hand over the notebook to our country.” Of all the Japanese-speaking Americans in this show, this is the most accurate jkhfkhf the US government really is Like That

Ah, so that’s where Mello’s gone, oh how the turn tables

Also way to sell your subordinates out immediately, NPA Director, will you give them the Kira task force’s home addresses too

The real question is if Light actually cares about his sister enough to prioritize her over the notebook

“Call me... N” Oh my good L... M(ello)... N(ear)... Oooooooooooooooo

It’s my saving grace that I only need to get through 9 more eps but as always I must wonder where this is going will Light just die and end up in Shinigami purgatory while the people who knew him after the fact go, ‘hey, that guy was fucked up’

“If things get bad, I’ll have to kill Sayu” well I guess that answers that question, my expectations of Light are so low and yet he continues to find new ways to be awful

Good for Mr. Yagami and Sayu for getting out of that alive I guess but hoo boy I think this is going to have some psychological repercussions for both of them

Uh oh this episode is called ‘Father’ I’ve been dreading this one bc I think that means Mr. Yagami is about to die 😭😭😭

“It was an institution for brilliant children, to raise them to become L‘s successor” okay calm down Professor Xatari that’s not what children are for lmao

Well I guess it’s a lot easier to track down info about these two guys than it was to figure out L lmao

HAHAHA Sidoh haunting Ryuk to ask for his stuff is a fun addition to this madness

“He’s scary for a human” jkhhfjh how unhinged does Mello have to be to threaten a literal Shinigami

I truly don’t understand the logistics of how they revealed Ryuk to the police force isn’t the second Kira notebook supposed to belong to Actual Kira, in the police force’s eyes????? I do not understand how Light can just turn up with another notebook and everyone’s like ‘sure cool’ did I miss something

Mr. Yagami killed for being unable to take human life ugh this is the worst

“You’re not Kira. I’m really glad.” WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS SO SAD MR. YAGAMI NOOOOOOOOOO THAT’S WHY HE RENOUNCED OWNERSHIP OF THE NOTEBOOK

Neither Mello nor Near seem overly concerned with the lives of people around them does being a Super Genius Investigator also mean you have to be a dick (is this Benadryl Coddleswab Sherlock syndrome)

Lmaooo genuinely love how it’s constantly apparent that Light is the least smart of all of the smart people Light spent five years working on his reputation and it took Near one (1) phone call to destroy it

Ghjkhgkhgkgjh Light outsmarted by Near yet again never think people will prioritize principles over money

Lol yeah Aizawa needn’t have given a name after he said the “Deputy Director Yagami would kill Kira and then himself” thing, you don’t do that just for anyone who was he fooling

How does Light keep track of all the renunciations and notebooks bc I certainly can’t

Ffhkfjhfj Mikami truly looks like the son of L and Light it’s like Light missed him and was like, “Miss u boo :( (even tho I kinda killed u) I’ll adopt An Evil 27-year-old in ur honour :)”

Is Mikami’s story really, ‘I got bullied in high school and have mommy issues so now I think people I don’t like should die’ ok Shonen Snape

“I just want you to meet with me and hear me out” Light really proving to Aizawa that he can lie AND manipulate people’s feelings

“The truth is, she’s not smart enough to be my partner” first of all Light I think this show has proven you’re not that smart, and Misa’s Herbo Energy is effervescent and will outlast you, and third of all go to jail

“He’ll look suspicious if he doesn’t say something soon” “Ide, have you ever been in love” Matsuda continues to be the only good part of this show

“You’re the only man I’ve ever respected and admired in my life” GET SOME THERAPY KIYOMI

“You’re going to be the goddess of the new world” so it’s not enough for Light to be a murderer he must also be a cheater

Lmao Near’s powers of perception do seem a little B/BC S/herlock because L tried for literally months to work out the possibilities and Near is just like ‘I KNOW IT NOW’

“The only thing I can deduce from this is that Light Yagami is popular with the ladies” HEAVEN KNOWS WHY (PUN NOT INTENDED)

Every moment Aizawa gets closer to proving Light is Kira is another step closer to death 😔

“This is definitely Mikami’s handwriting” Not to be a know-it-all, Near, but handwriting analysis has been proven faulty many times in multiple courts of law

This truly is a game of Cat and Cat. All these hidden plans give me a headache fkjhkfjh call me Misa-Misa and spin me sideways I don’t have the braincells to spare

Well this is definitely some kind of s*xual assault absolutely fucking hate it wow this show truly just drains the life out of you

“Matt, I never thought you would be killed” why wouldn’t you think that at this point anyone who comes close to this investigation eventually dies (also wjkhkjhgk why is Matt special didn’t you kill all those thugs you had before -- Mello said ‘the lives of my allies are only important if they are drawn in handsome protag style’)

As of yet I haven’t really talked about Near’s wild toymaking but hoo boy is that L finger puppet something to observe

“Everyone who knows about the existence of the notebook will die” I’m still pulling for their survival, particularly Matsuda (himbo rights!!!)

Imagine if they just shot Light Yagami on sight how ironic would that conclusion to all these mind games be

“I’m waiting, for the one who will solve everything, to arrive” Lmao if it turns out L is alive I’ll pee laughing this show is so fucking stupid

Take a shot every time there is a Humpty-Dumpty-in-Puss-in-Boots style explanation about how everything actually happened

“I’ve won, Near” I bet/hope what gets Light caught is his inability to hold in his hubris for one (1) minute

Although the last episode is called New World, in which case maybe he wins in a very weird ending to a very weird show

Sjkfhkjhfkhfkjhf well I guess what gets Light caught is that the person he invited to be his murderous disciple keeps calling him God

“A second ago, you said ‘I win.’ That’s as good a confession as any” HA hubris strikes again also bold of Aizawa to clap Light on the shoulder knowing he is a mass murderer

Ohhh Matsuda he’s so nice and believed the best of Light :((((((((((((

Watching Light become increasingly desperate and crazed is very uncomfortable give it up dude u’ve been beat (though I suppose there is time for everyone here to be murdered still lmao)

LMAO LIGHT SAID “IF YOU CAN’T BEAT ‘EM, CONVERT ‘EM”

Yeah I figured if one of them was gonna shoot it would be Matsuda :( :( Good for him for not killing Light tho!!

Huh I guess that’s the end of the show I thought Light would die but I did think we’d at least get to see him in Shinigami Purgatory or smth... what a wild ride. This certainly was a show.

#ayesha talks anime #ayesha liveblogs dn #liveblogging #long post #sorry for any dn fans who stumble across this lmao i don't have the constitution for it

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queen-of-my-goofball-army · 3 years

Text

Haikyuu Thoughts Season 2 (Episodes 1-10)

"Hey Kuuro" "ShUt uP"

"I haven't even said anything yet!"

"Damn right I'm like a SuPeR gEnIuS"

"So you can teach this owl frosted tips a lesson!" "So you wanna talk hair hah?!"

(I had to do the gif for this one because the facial expressions had me all out cackling)

"Like if your balance is off and you feel like your sure to be blocked if you take the shot you hit the ball against the blockers on purpose so it can bounce back and you can set it up again! Make sense?"

"But a lot of the times it doesn't work and the ball winds up getting slammed back in your face."

"Yeah... that happens to you a lot Bokuto..."

"That was your cue to say it hasn't been happening to me that much lately!"

"Spiking isn't all about slamming it onto the floor, ya know? You just stay calm and have a clear head at the moment of truth."

"Yeah that has not been happening to you a lot lately."

"Watch it Akkashi!"

"We need to stay calm Bokuto." "I aM cAlM"

Sorry about that guys, I had to do it. I've been watching the dub so far and it's got some of the funniest dialogue that I've ever heard. I mention the dub because one of my more recent husbandos has one of my favorite voice actors voice acting for him. So far season 2 has been an absolute blast to watch. With that being said, let's talk about husbandos because I have three of them that I need to hit. We are now at a capacity of six and one of them I was kinda surprised by.

The one who caught me completely off guard is that my love of Kuuro has grown ten fold since this season started. I saw more of him I think and that did a lot for my love of him! He wasn't just the leader of Nekoma anymore, I saw him as a person who just wanted his team to be the best but he could also be an absolute goofball troll at the worst of times. His teachings for Lev and Hinata were also something that I wasn't expecting! It's obvious that he wants for them to do their best and I loved that for him. The mentor was a really good look for him and I absolutely loved that he took on that role. Kuuro as a character is one that grew on me since I started to see him interacting off of somebody that he's actually close to, that being Bokuto. I love their friendship and the way that they both interact off of each other. They can be so side split-tingly funny with Kuuro's more troll sense of humor. I really, really hope that I get to see more of him coming! He's a lot of fun and I love the way that he interacts off of other characters.

(I have grown to 100% love this dumbass, he cracks me up and I love his relationship with both Kenma and Bokuto.)

Speaking of Bokuto, let's talk about everyone's favorite number five wing spiker in the nation, Koutarou Bokuto! Going into this show, I just knew that I was going to fall ass over tea kettle in love with him. He has the voice of one of my biggest heroes, Ian Sinclair and every roll that he has he brings all the energy and enthusiasm to the table that one comes to expect from him. However, what I was not expecting was for me to absolutely not even know how bad this was going to get. Even though @moons-and-stars-and-shit warned me that it was going to be bad, since Bokuto is her number husbando but hoo boy I was not at all prepared for him whatsoever. Ian is a fabulous choice for his voice for starters, he nails everything that he has to do, from the comedy to the "sad" Bokuto hours when he loses his cool, to his banter with Akaashi. I loved everything about him. He had me rolling on the floor laughing, but also I loved his mentor/mentee relationship with Hinata and how he helped him learn to move forward with his spikes. As a whole Bokuto is just so, so much fun. I've only known him for only a few episodes but I already love him so much.

(I do absolutely adore Bokuto but part of me is afraid of Lexci and taking him from her so going into this I was like I could either go full simp for one or the other and I decided in this case to go the other route.)

We've reached the final one, I swear. He's the last one hopefully for forever (I say this now I already have a fear of meeting Satroi Tendou since I've seen clips of him dubbed and it cracked me the hell up). For those of you that don't talk to me on a regular basis my tastes have gotten a slight upgrade recently within the last year. In watching Promare and Sk8 The Infinity I have discovered that I have a thing for calculating pretty bois that usually interact off of the himbo that they get paired up with (Lio with Galo and Kaoru with Kojiro) So this means that you've probably all figured out that if you had to twist my arm who I'd consider more husbando material from the last ten episodes. Can I talk about my boi Keji Akaashi for a hot minute? I absolutely love, loved the little glimpses that we got of Akaashi in the episodes that we had him in. To me he's the perfect amount of grumpy yet at the same time caring. It's obvious that he cares about Bokuto it's just that he knows how he gets and when he gets into a slump it's really hard to get him out. He's caring, but not overly so to the point where he's bouncing off the walls like Bokuto which makes them the perfect setter/spiker pairing in my mind. Akaashi is just adorable, I loved how his voice matched with his personality and how I could still detect the lightly teasing lilt when he would poke fun at Bokuto. These roles could easily switch from which one I prefer at a later date, when they both get more screen time but for right now Akaashi is my favorite between the two of them and I have a feeling that it's going to stay that way.

(Look at my curly haired beauty! I love him so much, I kind of wasn't expecting to find a calculating type in this show but I had my heart stolen by Akaashi.)

Whew! Sorry if this was a lot of me rambling to all of you, it became a lot bigger of a problem than I thought it would. If I had to pick just one of the three than I'd probably surprise even myself and say that Kuroo was my favorite of the three. I wasn't expecting him, he kinda just came out of nowhere and was like "That heart of yours, you don't need it to do you *yoink*" I plan to be done with the show by the end of next week. Does anybody know where I can watch season 3 dubbed?? Hulu tragically at the moment does not have it.

#haikyuu #hq kuroo #hq bokuto #hq akaashi #husbandos #binging #show binging

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werezmastarbucks · 4 years

Text

Whitmore Guy and more dead bodies

Whitmore Guy masterlist

word count: 1877

She sat on her couch and watched Mal bring all the plates from the living room and place them on the kitchen counter. Somehow, him being a massive creeper and a liar liberated her from cleaning her own house. Mal really looked like he enjoyed it though.

“Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask you”, he said nonchalantly, like he wasn’t noticing the intense look Y/N has been giving him, “that little whole on the wall, what’s the story behind this?”

He walked up to the wall crossing the line and cutting the kitchen space from the living room and pointed at the little notch in the dark wood that looked like a cut.

“I threw a plate once and it crashed into this place, knocking out a piece of wood”, she said. They both looked at it for a second.

“Why?”

She rubbed her knees.

“I don’t really remember. I know it was late at night, and I was sitting at the table, and I panicked for some reason. I couldn’t eat again. So I threw my plate full of potatoes away, and there was food everywhere. But I don’t remember what made me so angry, and definitely don’t remember cleaning. It was like… a thousand years ago”.

“Hmm”, he said and walked to the couch slowly, placing himself next to her. They fell silent for some time.

“I told you, I’m going crazy. I keep forgetting simple things, like from half a year ago, or a year ago”.

“That’s normal”.

“It’s very weird how I forget separate fragments. And recently I found this playlist with music on my phone that I don’t remember making. What’s that all about?”

She looked at him, testing his concentration, like he was also guilty about her amnesia and madness.

Mal replied with his understanding look, the one they shared when they spoke without words. His eyes said, that sucks, and she said, I know.

“And I remember being happy, like last summer, that’s the funniest thing. I don’t know what happened, but it just drained, and I can’t go on pretending like I’m still me. Something’s happened, and Damon refuses to tell me. But I remember vividly being very, very happy last year. But get this – I don’t remember why”.

“Don’t freak out”, his hand laid on her palm and squeezed her fingers lightly. Y/N absently looked at his hands and couldn’t move.

“You’ve lost a friend. It’s been a tough spring. It gets better, yeah? I promise you. By Christmas time you will be happy again, no – I predict you will be. I know it”.

He sighed deeply and let go of her hand. Her fingers went cold.

“Why were you watching me sleep, Mal?”

He wasn’t taken aback by her question. He blinked twice, confused, like she was asking why the space is dark.

“Because you fell asleep in my bed while I was in it. Who told you I was?”

“Bonnie touched you and saw it. She’s a witch, remember?”

“She does look like a witch, it’s hard to forget-”

“You were in my house. You were watching me in my house”.

Mal looked emphatic, like he was treating a terminal patient who was also insane. He didn’t look guilty, or awkward at all. Y/N secretly admired the nerve of this guy.

“So, I was”, he said quietly, and his neck swayed like a snake as he tilted his head. His eyes went completely bleak, like he was about to eat off her face.

“How did you get into my house?”

“That’s not the right question you’re asking. It’s not difficult to get into a house”.

She felt cold shivers run down her spine, unwanted arousal together with horror – for the first time, finally, he scared her properly. And what did she feel? Horny.

“Who are you?”

“I’m Mal Osbourne”, he replied when she barely finished the sentence.

“What do you want?”

“You know what I want”.

There was a heavy pause filling space between them like poisonous gas. She realized she couldn’t hold on anymore. There was the sense of fear, but no danger. She was either numb or stupid; she couldn’t see him as a threat. She knew he was one, but it felt fake, it was double fake – his personality, and then, his supposed danger that he had to present. All she wanted to do was to grab him by his shirt and pull him to her face to breathe him in.

“God, you’re not even fighting it, are you?” he whispered, little dimples appearing on his cheeks although he wasn’t smiling.

“You’re the only real thing that’s happened to me in months. And you just happen to be a sociopath with a plan”.

“I’m no menace to you”.

She didn’t like the way he emphasized ‘you’.

“You want a ham sandwich?”

She shook her head no, and said to herself, ‘I want you to kiss me’. She couldn’t utter it out, but he read her mind. How, she didn’t know. Mal leaned in and Y/N grabbed his neck like her life depended on it; their mouths crashed into each other, and she took a deep breath as he touched her teeth with his tongue. Shivers vibrated on her ribs, and she could feel both his hands wrapping her, and it felt right, like it was his place. Mal pressed her into the couch pillows and his hand slid down to her thigh, his touch firm, possessive. Y/N’s limbs were magnetized, moving towards him, like her body didn’t even belong to her anymore. All she knew, brain or skin, was him, that he pulled her to himself, pressing, devouring her slowly, as he drank from her mouth, heating her like a match. How hot could it get? She couldn’t think. Y/N scratched his neck, delving her nails into his skin in an animalistic urge to come closer. Her knees spread by themselves as she let him slide in between, his smell making her dumb. Nothing. There was nothing in her head except the sound of her own breathing and the way he kissed her. They couldn’t let go of each other, running short of breath, and the thunderous sound behind didn’t make sense at first.

Y/N shivered and pulled away, opening her eyes and discovering her knee was high under his arm. Someone called her by the name. She looked at Mal, his mouth slightly open, his eyes, mad like his brains were completely fried. She turned around and saw Elena standing in her hall.

“There’s bodies. Your neighbors. You guys… please…”

It took about five seconds to process. Mal came to his senses quicker. He stood up, letting go of her legs, and ran his hands through his hair.

“What?”

“We were almost at the end of the street, and then the smell hit us. We checked, and there’s bodies in the house next door. Those new guys who moved in last year?”

She thought of Gray the cat.

“Larsons”.

“Exactly”.

Elena was tugging at her own hair, visibly embarrassed by what she saw. Both scenes.

“They’re all dead”.

“And the cat?”

Mal gave her a look.

“What cat?” Elena whispered.

Heavy footsteps rocked outside, and the door was pulled open. Damon looked into the living room.

“What the hell were you doing?”

Y/N blinked slowly.

“Did you call the police?”

“Is it bad?” Mal asked.

“It’s bloodbath”.

They left the house and came round the driveway, entering Larson’s yard.

Coming close to the front door, Y/N could already smell them.

“Maybe you shouldn’t go…”

She entered the hall and Mal followed her. She covered her nose with her palms as she saw three dismembered bodies in the living room. Mal didn’t let her turn the lights on.

“Don’t touch anything”.

“You’ve been with us the whole time, right?” she asked, thinking as she spoke. Mal turned to her, and his eyes shone with indignation in the twilight.

“You go from thievery to murder? Are you okay, Y/N? Why do you blame me for everything?”

They turned to make sure the vampires stayed on the porch.

“I’m not blaming you for anything, just thinking out loud”, she hissed. Her face was still hot.

“Yeah, and in your way of thinking, you gotta make sure I didn’t sneak out of the house to fucking butcher your neighbors because..? Are you seeing this shit? How am I supposed to physically do it?”

She rubbed her face and turned away to leave. Mal followed her again.

“You lied to me, didn’t you? Aw, you’re going through stuff, I understand”, he mimicked her voice, making it too thin, “you understand shit. You think if I lie about one thing I lie about everything else, too”.

She turned to him with a swing. She didn’t really want to talk about it with all the people they knew present, but the moment might be fleeting, and if she wanted to catch him, she had to do it on the spot. It didn’t help that she was still immensely aroused as she even looked at him.

“That’s how it works, Mal. And what exactly are you lying about?”

He opened his mouth angrily to answer, but someone called.

“Let’s go, I called the FBI guys”.

“The FBI?”

“Yeah, well, they said to call if anything else like this happens”.

Mal turned to Damon and looked him in the eye, directing all his frustration towards the vampire.

“Where were you?”

Damon’s face got beautifully distorted with annoyance.

“You know where I was, you creepy lizard”.

“Everything that’s happened was connected to you, Damon, and you’re notorious with your temper, and you weren’t in your best mood today”.

“He never is”, Caroline noted.

“I can’t believe this guy”, Y/N nearly yelled, “you basically just admitted lying to me…”

Everybody started talking at the same time. Mal crossed his arms on his chest and did the thing she almost learned already. He pretended to be the victim.

“Y/N, you can’t stay at your house, it’s not safe for you”, one reasonable voice said.

“Great, we’ll go sleep over at your house”, Mal nodded. Stefan was taken aback.

“What? You think I’ll leave her with you monsters?”

Y/N raised her eyebrows so high her face hurt.

“You’re going home, Osbourne”, Damon barked. Mal was standing next to him and it seemed like he even got a bit taller with his own shadow helping him. He let out a small smile, looking right into the vampire’s eyes; the amount of energy suddenly bursting around him was insane. Bonnie’s head snapped towards them two in a bird-like gesture, and she looked concerned as hell.

“I’m going with her”, Mal said quietly. Something in her stomach did a flip, and as he turned, she gave up. Stefan did, too.

“Alright, maybe… maybe it makes sense, okay? He was with us, too, and if… this is an attack on us, or a sign…” he shook his head slowly, looking at Elena, as if asking her for help.

“Let’s just go, all of us, Bonnie and Caroline too, alright? It’s better if we all stay together in one place”.

Y/N pushed through them and walked back to her house to grab some things, followed by several pairs of eyes.

#kai parker #kai parker imagine #kai parker x reader #vampire diaries imagine #vampire diaries #legacies #tvd #whitmore guy

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metoo-desu · 5 years

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so i’ve recently discovered a thing called kimetsu radio, where the seiyuus for the cast of kny talk in asmr, and it is the funniest shit i’ve ever listened to

a twitter account called NomiMatsu has a few translated clips and y’all gotta watch it if you haven’t already ٩( ᐛ )و

#kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #demon slayer x reader #kamado tanjirou #kamado nezuko #inosuke hashibira #agatsuma zenitsu #tanjirou #nezuko #inosuke #zenitsu

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princecharmingmendes · 5 years

Text

Paris | Day One

When your parents decide to travel with your best friend’s family that you haven’t talked to in a while, who you have a massive secret crush on, what could go wrong, right? Right?! (best friends to lovers)

*It’s my first series, hope you love it!

*Word Count: 6.3k

*Warnings: cursing, slight angst and Shawnie boy being cute.

*Posted: December 7th, 2019

-*-

Pants? Check! Gloves? Check! Fuzzy socks? Check! Charger? Check! Passport? Check! Phone? Shit! Where’s it again?! Oh, yeah, I’m holding it.

I rolled my eyes to my own stupidity finishing my mental packing checklist. I think I might have everything I needd with me. Well, I’ll only find out whenever I need something from across the ocean and notice that I probably forgot it on top of the sea of clothes that I decided not to pack laying on top of my bed.

I don’t even know why I’m so apprehensive about this whole family trip thing. We always travel together at least once a year, the only difference is that this time, the Mendes’ family would be joining us, which wasn’t the first time as well. I mean, maybe the first time in a few years, but still, nothing that I haven’t been through before. Shawn is not even going to be joining us! I mean, not that I care.

The buzz from my nightstand captured my attention from my thoughts and I stretched as best as I could to reach for my phone without getting up from the soft spot on my bed. I internally rolled my eyes at the photo of my younger sister lighting up the screen.

“Sup, kiddo?”

“I’m not a kid anymore, you know?” She said trying to contain the anger laced on her tone.

“Yeah, sure, whatever you say, kiddo”

“God, sometimes I really hate you”

“Awn, I love you too, Flo, so, why did call the most amazing human being on the whole wide world?”

“Y/N, seriously, you’re so annoying”

“Whatever, but, ‘seriously’” I said mocking her tone, earning a light chuckle from the other side of the line “what can I do for ya?”

“I’m just calling you to check if things are ready, mom’s been driving me crazy” Florence said and I swear to God that I could imagine her rolling her eyes in annoyance, but I could not blame her.

I mean, I love my mom, but she is a general when it comes to traveling, she needs to double check every little thing possible, finding mistakes where you could not even imagine. But after all that stress, you could be 100% sure that nothing would go wrong if she planned everything, because she had a plan “D” for everything. That’s right, a plan “D”.

“Everything’s in the right place, double checked and ready to go” I said between giggles.

“Great, she said you can leave in ten if you want, dad’s just finishing some stuff so that we can go to the airport”

“Kay, I think I’ll just go now, I’m pretty bored anyway”

“Fine, see you in ten”

“See you, kiddo” I said ending the call before she could kill me.

I took a deep breath and got up, closing my huge suitcase, but not before going through the whole mental checklist thing, and with all the strength I had, getting it on the floor. I grabbed my phone and tossed it on my backpack, put my sunglasses on the top of my head and got out of my small apartment. Took a deep breath again to lift my suitcase to put it on my car, and got it, starting it to go to my parents house.

It was weird saying their house, I mean, they bought it, so it’s theirs, but I sort of grew up there and I just recently moved out, so I guess I’m just getting over the fact that I don’t live with them anymore. It’s not like I live that far, it’s just that I decided to move closer to college to make my daily routine easier, so I moved to a small apartment that’s just a seven minute drive to campus, or a twenty minute walk. But it’s not like in a non insane traffic rush it would take me more than 10 minutes to get to their house. And since we moved almost five years ago to Toronto, we got much closer, since we had to readjust and make new social circles in the Big City, so I guess that’s why it’s so weird to me to not be around them the whole time.

After the whole nostalgic thoughts and a few jamming sessions on the car, I entered the building and parked on my spot, typing quickly on my phone saying that I was already there to my sister. She replied almost instantaneously, telling me to wait in the garage and that they were on their way down. So I just sat on the car, waiting for them, scrolling through social media and feeling my heart beat a little faster when I saw a picture Shawn posted on his stories, on a FUCKING airport. That had to be a coincidence. He wasn’t going to Paris with us, he simply couldn’t.

Let me get this story straight. My family and I used to live in a small town in Canada, called Pickering, and we used to be the Mendes’ neighbors. Our parents clicked almost automatically when they moved, because someone took French classes with someone when they were like seven and whatever, you know what I mean. So me and Shawn, Florence and Aaliyah kind of didn’t have an option on not becoming like best friends. Flo and Aaliyah had a similar age, my sister is 17 and Liyah is 16. Shawn is 21 and I’m 20, and since we’re literally at each other’s houses all the time, we automatically became best friends basically since the day we were born. And I wouldn’t want it any other way.

The problem is that Shawn Peter Raul Mendes is the definition of perfection. He’s not just the hottest person to live on earth and probably the whole galaxy, but also the funniest, kindest, most talented and caring human being I’ve ever met. And there’s a bonus, he knew me better than anyone. So it was impossible to not fall for him when I discovered what that is/was. Okay, maybe not fall for him, but I did have a major crush on him growing up, but I never said anything, cause, duh, who would?! I’d never do anything that could make our relationship weird. Even because he never showed any signs telling me he felt something as well.

So yeah, I had to swallow seeing him with other girls, having a heartbreak because of other girls and all that with a smile on my face, like it didn’t feel like having someone pinching my heart every damn time. But what made everything worse was the day I found out we were moving to Toronto when I was like 15. I ran into his house, straight into his room and cried the whole night, and when I told him the reason why, he couldn’t hold it in, so he cried with me. In the end, he helped me pack and promised me that we would still be best friends, no matter where I was moving to, that he would call and text all day, that he would be only a couple miles away, and I believed him. And I can’t say he didn’t keep his promise, at least for the first year.

We would se each other every holiday and text non-stop, but than he started dating some random girl and suddenly, he couldn’t come on the holidays or answer my phone calls. And to avoid another heartbreak, I decided to let it go. It’s not like we don’t talk anymore or don’t see each other in years, it’s just that, it’s not the same as before. But I don’t blame him, this is inevitable, our lives are so different. He’s one year older and he travels a lot, he took a whole year just to wander around the globe with his friends, he’s in music school somewhere and is dating a girl that looks like just got out of a runaway. I’m just someone who finished high school and went straight to college to become a doctor, so my life is quite boring, I study a lot, work an insane amount of hours for a student with my stepfather to gain experience (and that’s it, no money for me), I’m finishing a research and my last fling didn’t go as well as I expected, turned out I was not his only one. So yeah, completely different lives.

He cannot come to this trip and mess with my head that I took many years to get in the right place. He simply can’t.

“Darling?” The voice of my mom reverberated through the whole garage startling the shit out of me.

“Geez, mom, are you trying to kill me or something?” I said jokingly standing up from the seat and going to greet them.

“It’s just a little revenge for every time you scared me”

“Hi, Y/N, where’s your suitcase?” Dad asked me kissing my forehead.

“Hi, dad, it’s in my car”

“Okay, you girls get your stuff on the car and I’ll grab the suitcases, Okay? Karen said they’re already here, waiting for us to go to the boarding area”

“Kay” Flo said getting her backpack and jumping on the backseat of the car. Mom was already on the passenger seat.

“Do you need help, dad?” I said as I watched him get my bag from my car, putting it into his.

“No, sweetheart, I’m done, the rest is already here, thanks”

With that, I just nodded and climbed on the car, that a few moments later was already on the streets of Toronto heading to the airport.

-*-

“Oh my God, is that Shawn?!” Flo whisper yelled to me, getting my attention that was on my phone to her. We were close to the check-in desk where our parents where checking-in our luggage.

“Dunno, don’t care”

“Oh, come on, Y/N, he’s your best friend and there’s like ages since you last saw him, it was on summer!”

“Yeah, so? Six months it’s not that much”

“God, you’re so annoying”

“What are you two already arguing about? This is vacation you guys, try to chill a little bit and behave, please” Mom said as they approached “Now let’s find Karen and Manny”

“I think they’re there, love” Dad said pointing towards what Flo said Shawn was, but I just didn’t want to look just yet.

“Oh, yes, that’s them, let’s go!”

Shit.

“Karen!” Was the first greeting to be heard as we got closer to the them, obviously it came from my mom, cause she was born without the power of being embarrassed.

“Oh my god! You look amazing!”

And than everyone started talking and hugging and all that stuff. I was a little behind, too focused on the level I was on CandyCrush to look up, but when I bumped into a wall I immediately looked up and tried to stabilize myself, but that was just a stupid idea. It wasn’t a wall. His scent was the first thing to make me weak on my knees. But than my eyes met his honey colored ones and that beautiful grin that showed all his perfect aligned teeth. And before I could fall on my butt, his strong hands gripped my waist firmly, steadying my body and keeping me close.

“Sh-Shawn” I sighed practically a whisper “oh, shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t see you” and all I could hear was my heart beating wildly and his melodic chuckle.

“S’okay, honey, still playing CandyCrush?”

“Uh... yeah, yeah, it’s a nice game”

“Yes, it is, God, you look so...”

“Y/N, my dear!” Karen cut her son in the middle of the sentence, making my heart skip a beat. I don’t know if I should thank her or be mad at her “Shawn, can you please let her go, I didn’t see her in a while too”

“Sure” He said, cleaning his throat and letting go of me, scratching the back of his neck. Am I really missing his hands on me?!

“Hi, Karen, how are you?” I said smiling politely before being engulfed in a bear hug.

“I’m extremely happy to be here with you guys, and you? Oh, you must have so much to tell me! You look so good, you get prettier everyday! Are you dating someone new? How college?” She asked too many questions making me dizzy for a second.

“Sweetie, calm down, you’ll be with her for a long time, don’t make her regret coming just now, hey there, Y/N” Manny said giggling, making Karen smack his arm playfully.

“I’m good, college is amazing, too much in such a little time, but still amazing. And thank you?!” I said trying to answer everything.

“That’s really good, dear, but don’t worry, we’ll have time to catch on everything”

“I’m pretty sure we will”

“Y/N!”

“Liyah! Loved your hair” I said hugging her.

“Oh, thanks!”

As we walked down the aisles to the boarding area, everyone was talking cheerfully to each other, catching on everything they could. I was a little behind in the middle of Flo and Liyah, listening to her new crush when I felt something reaching for my wrist, making me look back, seeing Shawn with a shy smile on his face, so I went a little to the side to walk beside him instead.

“I never greeted you properly”

“I guess you didn’t”

“Hi, Y/N, how are you?” He said reaching his hand out, I grabbed it smiling and you shook them.

“Hi, Mendes, I’m fine, and you?”

“So much better now” he said winking in my direction, making me blush lightly “I can’t believe that I can still make you all flushed that easily”

“Oh, shut up, pink cheeks”

“Oh, drop it, you’re sister’s right, you’re annoying as heck, but I still missed you”

I froze as the words fell off his lips.

“Everything okay, honey?” Shawn asked turning around with concern written all over his face “did I say anything wrong?”

“Hm?”

“You stopped out of the blue”

“Oh, I just remembered that I have no idea who I’m sitting with on the flight, ya know?”

“Oh, didn’t know that was a issue, are you still afraid of turbulence? Is that why?”

“Hm, yeah”

“Oh, than you can chill, you’re with me, your parents and mine put us together to catch up”

Great. Just what I needed.

“Oh, that sounds nice”

“So, how’s life?”

“Same”

“Really? But what about that guy... Roger?”

“Rick? Oh, turned out you were right and he was a dick”

“What did he do?! Did he hurt you?!”

“Well, he did cheat on me, so he kind of hurt me, but not physically”

Shawn mumbled something I couldn’t hear.

“What was that?”

“Hm? Nothing”

“Shawn...”

“Nothing, honey, I swear” he said looking straight ahead. So I decided to just drop it. He’s just too stubborn.

“So... how’s your life?”

“Mine? Great, I’m moving back to Canada”

“Really? When?”

“Actually, just moved back to Toronto like two days ago”

“I can’t believe it!”

“Me neither” Shawn chuckled “I was supposed to surprise you, don’t know, just show up at your door or college”

“You thought about surprising me?”

“Of course, you’re my best friend, honey”

“Oh”

“‘Oh’? Why do you sound this surprised?

“I don’t know, we just aren’t that close anymore, and we didn’t see each other for like six months, and you didn’t call on my birthday and...” I couldn’t finish because someone was asking for my documents and stuff.

So we went through the whole process and going through the gate, sitting down close to each other on the plane without a word. After what felt like ages, I felt something brushing the sides of my thigh. I look down and it’s Shawn’s knee bouncing. And for now, I just ignored it, knowing he had a lot to say, just wasn’t comfortable enough to do it now. So we got in the plane and sat on our seats, I sat next to the window, and I let him take the aisle due to his gigantic legs.

My headphones were quite loud when I felt the plane starting to move, making my hands grip the seat tighter involuntarily. Before I could start feeling sick to my stomach, I felt a hand covering my knee, giving it a little squeeze. I just breathed in a little deeper and looked at his face, but he was already looking at me. He leaned in, kissing my forehead and letting go of my knee, turning his palm up, so I instantaneously held it, threading my fingers with his.

“It’s okay, princess, you’re fine and I’m here with you, okay?” He said in a calm and low tone near to my ear, making my whole body melt into the seat “do you want me to do anything to make it better?” I just shaked my head “no? Is this enough?” I nodded “okay, so just breath for me, eh? Can you do that for me, honey?”

I nodded starting deep breaths and felt my hand being lightly squeezed, in encouragement.

When the plane was finally stable, I slowly let go of his hand and snuggled into the wall. I could feel Shawn’s stare on me, but I couldn’t simply look at him, so I just closed my eyes and focused on whatever artist’s voice was playing through my earphones.

An hour or so later, when everyone seemed to be asleep, including mister “I miss you”, my bladder decided to work, so I really needed to go to the bathroom. I got up and started trying to jump the sleeping giant by my side, but something made him stir wake while I was literally in the middle of jumping him, with his legs between mine, and he just grabbed me by my hips.

“Hm, Sorry, did I wake you?” I practically whispered, trying to gain some balance I placed my hands each side of his head on his seat.

“No, baby, whatcha doing?”

“I need to go to the bathroom”

“Oh, sorry” he said with his eyes not completely open, in a zone between sleep and consciousness.

I just gave him a tight lip smile and ran to the bathroom. Okay, did he just called me “baby”? I shook my head and threw cold water on my face. Getting back there made my heart get a little warmer. Shawn was laying with half of his body on my seat, with his arms crossed and the softest look on his face.

“Shawnie?” I whispered laying my hand on his chest and he whined still asleep “handsome, I need to get back to my place”

Shawn slowly opened his eyes again, rubbing his whole face, mumbling a “sorry” and sitting straight. I jumped his legs back and sat down.

“Do you want to lay on me, big guy?”

“Can I?”

“Sure” and as I said, he quickly lifted that seat divider and placed his head on my chest, snuggling on my side and wrapping his arms around me.

“Thank you, honey” he said as I started running my hand through his hair, making him groan softly, and in a matter of seconds, drift off to sleep again. So I just chose a random movie to play and tried to fall asleep, since I didn’t have much to do other than stay quietly because of Shawn standing basically on top of me.

Fortunately, I ended up dozing off pretty quickly, but half and hour later, I felt something on my neck making me wake up, but I didn’t want to open my eyes just yet.

“What?” I groaned as lowly as I could.

“Shh, baby, you can go back to sleep” Shawn murmured against the skin of my neck.

There he goes again with the baby thing.

“Shawn? What are you doing?”

“Nothing” he said nuzzling his face even deeper in my neck.

“Shawn?!”

“Shh, baby, there’s people trying to sleep, and you should be doing the same” he said and I felt his lips brush against my skin, giving me goosebumps.

“Seriously, what the hell are you doing?”

“I just missed you, do you want me to back off?” He asked and I pondered for a while, than I shook my head and he mumbled a simple “good”.

He peppered light feather kisses along the side of my neck, making me feel those damn butterflies on my stomach, and also making me feel like I’m 13 all over again.

“Go back to sleep, honey” he said running his nose through the extension of my neck.

“You woke me, I can’t”

“Sorry, you’re just so warm and cozy, I couldn’t resist”

“Resist...?”

“You” Shawn said like it’s obvious giving a longer kiss on a particular sensitive spot, pulling from me a little whine and making me thread my fingers between his curls. Shawn chuckled lightly against my skin “yes, honey, anything you want to say?”

“You”

“What about me?” He said leaning his head against my shoulder, turning my head by my chin to look at him.

“You’re just confusing”

“I’m confusing?”

“Yes! Why did you wake up?”

“The person behind me tripped on my feet on their way back to his seat”

“Oh, I see that, do you... hmm...”

“Do I...?”

“Do you want to go back to sleep?”

“I wouldn’t mind” he said straightening his back and getting back to his seat.

“Where are you going?” I asked pouting involuntarily and he just smiled. More of a cocky grin than anything else.

“Just adjusting so you can lay on me”

“Oh, okay”

“C’mere, honey” he said patting his chest and I just laid there, wrapping my arms around his middle, and having him do the same “now sleeps, I’ll be right here”.

“Kay” and with that, he kissed the top of my head and held me even tighter, starting to play with my hair. How can you not immediately go back to sleep with that?

-*-

I woke up a while later with the sound of the flight attendant offering dinner to another people a few seats ahead of us. I grabbed my phone and saw that we still had a four hour flight to Paris and sighed. Well, at least I had a giant warm pillow by my side. I tried sitting properly but Shawn wouldn’t let go of me, so I just gave up and relaxed against his chest, grabbing my sketchbook to look through it.

I got so lost in over analyzing my past few drawings that I didn’t notice that he was awake and looking through them with me. At least, not until I quickly went through one that I didn’t finish and he placed his hand over the page, stopping me from turning it. I looked up to meet his honey colored ones already looking at me.

“What?”

“What is this one?” He said extremely low due to the nap we took, making me warm inside.

“It’s nothing, I didn’t even finish sketching it”

“Is it us?” He said taking his hand from the page and looking at it.

“It was supposed to be, it’s a recreation of that picture we took at your place on Christmas, wrapped up in christmas’ lights”

“Why?”

“Dunno, guess I just missed you a little bit more than usual that day”

“No, why didn’t you finish it?”

“Oh, sorry, I... I guess it seemed odd to draw the both of us, especially because at that time we weren’t even talking because of...”

“Yeah, and I’m sorry about that”

“It’s okay, I guess, it’s over”

“She was wrong though”

“Your ex? Obviously, she was jealous for no reason, you’ve never seen me as more than friends”

“And neither have you”

“Yes, I know that, she didn’t”

“I made a lot of dumb choices, eh?”

“Yeah, you did, Shawn”

“And I wish I could just go back and fix them”

“Fix what’s not broken? You don’t need to fix anything, I’m right here, aren’t I?”

“Yeah, but you are hurt”

“Am I?”

“Honey... we need to talk about it, we’ll never go back to normal if we don’t”

“I don’t have anything to say, Shawnie”

“But I do, honey” he said taking a deep breath “I know I’ve been the shittiest friend in history, that you didn’t always come first in the past few months and I’m truly sorry for that. I’m also sorry for promising things to you that I didn’t keep, like always being there for you when you need me and stuff. And sorry for the ex girlfriends that made us go further apart, obviously for my mistake, but anyway, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that...”

“Shawn...”

“Please, Y/N, I really need to get that off my chest”

“And I will let you do that, is just that she’s...” I didn’t finish the sentence, just pointed to the flight attendant offering dinner.

“Oh, sorry” he said flashing her a smile that probably almost killed the poor woman. Yes, that’s Shawn Mendes effect.

We grabbed our trays, thanking her and placing them on the little table thing.

“Okay, keep going”

“Okay, and I’m sorry for everything I did you wrong, for example, not calling you on your birthday, just a quick text, but I just did that cause I was so ashamed of all of the things that I did to you, I almost didn’t come to this trip to not put any sort of pressure on you for forgiving me. But specially, the most important thing I should be apologizing for is for making you feel like you don’t mean the world to me and that you aren’t one of the most important women in my life, and I love you with my whole heart and I missed you like hell, and being away from you was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my entire life. And I never want this to happen again. I’m sorry, Y/N, for everything”

I couldn’t breath. Really, all the air that was on my lungs simply disappeared. I just stared my shoes for what felt like a really long time.

“Honey? Y/N? Are you okay? Do you need me to leave?”

Oh, okay, it was a long time.

“Hm, Sorry, I’m just trying to, ya know, absorb everything”

“Okay” he said stating the back of the seat in front of him.

“Hey” I said placing my hand on his thigh squeezing it lightly “it’s okay, big guy, I’m not mad at you, I love you too, and it’s okay, I just figured we were going through different times in life and stuff... but it’s okay”

“It shouldn’t be, you should hate me”

“Not really, but I just can’t” I said and he placed his hand on top of mine.

“I love you so much, Y/N”

“You’re my best friend, dude, you kinda have to”

“Yeah, yeah, that’s it” he said sighing.

“Isn’t it?”

“Of course it is, honey”

“Good, now can we eat? I’m starving” I said and he giggled.

“Yes, we can, Y/N”

After that, we chose a movie and started watching it. His hand made a discreet way to my knee, and I just looked at it, but didn’t say a word. The movie was a random rom-com movie and I can say it was starting to get boring, but since people around us were falling back asleep, we didn’t have much to do. I felt his fingers starting to come higher on my leg, stopping in the middle of my thigh.

“Shawn?”

“Hmm?”

“What are you doing?”

“Watching the movie”

“Hm, yeah?”

“Yup” he said popping the ‘P’.

“What’s the name of the main character?”

“Susan?”

“Yeah, you’re such a bad liar, where are you, big guy?”

“M’here”

“No, you’re not”

“I’m just... enjoying you...r company” he said tracing random figures with the pad of his thumb “I really missed you”

“What do you mean?”

“I just feel the need to touch you”

“Well, you are”

“I know”

“Do you mind?”

“Not really”

“Okay” he said squeezing my thigh and than grabbing both of them and putting them over his lap, pulling me even closer.

“Dear?” Karen called making us both jump in our seats “oh, sorry, didn’t mean to scary you”

“It’s okay” I said chucking and trying to take my legs from Shawn’s lap, but he wouldn’t let me move “what happened?”

“Nothing, I was just going to the bathroom and wanted to check on you guys on the way back, do you need anything?”

“We’re fine, mom, I think we can handle this”

“I know you do, sweetheart, doesn’t mean I don’t get worried”

“Well, everything’s great, Karen, thank you” I said giving her a smile, which she gave back.

“Okay, I’ll just go back to my seat, we have another two hours” she said going away.

“Shit, she scared me” I said and Shawn laughed “shhh”

“Oh shit, sorry”

“It’s okay, dummy”

And that’s pretty much how we spent the rest of the flight, laughing, talking and watching that movie.

-*-

A few hours later, we were already at the hotel, checked in and heading to our floors. Both of our parents were at the same floor. Me, Shawn, Flo and Liyah were almost at the top, both of our sisters were in the same room at the left of the hall, and me and Shawn were to the right, but each one in one room.

Five minutes after I closed the door, someone knocked on it, so I turned around and opened it. Shawn was standing awkwardly in the middle of the hall scratching the back of his neck.

“Yes? Can I help you?”

“Hm, nope, I thought maybe you needed some, with the bag and stuff”

“Well, I didn’t even take a look at the view, so I guess maybe? Well, you can come in, I don’t think I’ll be sleeping any time soon, we slept a lot during the flight”

“Yeah, exactly... so, where do you want me to place your bag?” He asked stepping into my room.

“Hm, there?” I said pointing to a random corner of the room and going to the balcony, opening the doors and heading outside, just staring at the view of the Eiffel Tower.

“Holy shit” Shawn mumbled behind me.

“Yeah, it’s so... magical”

“Mhmm” he said standing by my side “we’re lucky we both got his view”

“Really?”

“My room is right next door”

“Is it?”

“Yeah, I think we even have a door between them”

“Oh, wouldn’t you like that, Mendes”

“What do you mean?” He said flushing hard under the moonlight, making those stupid butterflies appear again, making me remember everything I’ve ever felt for him “honey?” He called making ME flush for being caught staring at him.

“Oh, shit, sorry, well, you always like to scare me randomly and stuff, so that would make things a lot easier”

“Do you think I’m twelve?”

“No, of course not, big guy, I’m 100% sure”

“Oh, please” he said rolling his eyes at me playfully and chuckling “let me check that door thing again”

I just laughed as he walked back to the room. I just leaned on the balcony railing, enjoying the view and the light breeze from the cold night, that was giving me light goosebumps. And for a second, just a little moment, I allowed myself to imagine what would be like to have something with Shawn. I mean, I’ve done that a lot when I was younger and stuff, but nowadays I just don’t allow myself to do that, not anymore.

But being with him would probably be amazing. He always do this thing where he just puts his whole heart into everything he does, especially when he loves it. So just imagine being with someone so passionate, and caring, and kind, and sweet, and smart, and hot as him. I just can’t see any bad points in it.

“What’s going on on that pretty little head of yours, honey?” Shawn said lowly next to my ear, making my heart skip a beat and almost die.

You see, I wouldn’t mind the closeness and stuff, cause that guy has no idea of what personal space means. BUT, I would always see it coming and prepare myself to not freak out. But I did not see him coming, and did not expect him to be right behind me, close enough so that I could feel his hot breath on the back of my neck, since I was with my hair in a messy bun. His hands grabbed the railing in front of me, standing beside mine. Shit, he’s close.

“Nothing”

“Mhmmm, I don’t believe you” he said pressing his lips gently on my skin, making me bite me bottom lip to hold back a whimper.

“I... it’s nothing”

“See, it is something” he said rubbing the tip of his nose against the extension of my neck “I know you, baby, just tell me”

“I was just thinking how this trip would be a perfect scenario for me to be with someone... you know... romantically involved with someone”

“Oh” he said and I could feel his arms tensioning around me “anyone in particular?”

“Hm?” I said playing with my fingers but I felt one of his hands on my waist, turning me around to face him, but I just couldn’t, so I stared at our feet.

“So...? Anyone?”

“Oh, shit, sorry, no... not a single soul in particular, no one, no”

“Sure?”

“Yeah, sure”

“Yeah, don’t believe you right now, but I think I’m going back to my room to let you rest, you seem really tired”

“Do I?”

“Yes, you can’t seem to concentrate on what I’m saying, and you were staring at nothing in particular when I got here, so I guess you’re just tired”

“Yeah, that’s probably it”

“So... let’s go back inside?”

“Mhmmm”

“Honey?”

“Hm?” I mumbled looking up for the first time since he turned me around, and I regretted it almost instantaneously, why did he have to look so fucking good? And than he smiled, making me feel like my legs were turning into jello, making me grab his arms for support.

“Do you want me to carry you to bed?”

“I need to take a shower first”

“Okay, let’s do it like this, I’ll take you to the bathroom and I’ll let you shower and I’ll leave the door between our bedrooms open, so I can shower and come back before you, than I’ll tuck you in bed and go back to my room, okay? Sounds nice?”

“You’re perfect” I said without thinking and than flushing, because I noticed what just left my mouth.

He just chuckled wrapping his arms around my middle, taking me off the ground and to the bathroom, placing me on top of the sink. He went back to the room and returned a few moments later with my PJs, my shower bag and my bag of underwear.

“I’ll leave you to shower and stuff, and whenever you’re ready, I’ll be waiting for you in your room, okay, honey?”

“Okay” I basically whispered and he smiled, placing a delicate kiss on my forehead before leaving.

I just hopped off the counter top and locked the door, stepping into the shower a few moments later. A nice steaming hot shower later, I had my hair in a messy ponytail, makeup free face, lotion on my body, fuzzy socks and sweats on, and with that, I stepped out of the bathroom only to die a little more.

The room was already dark, only with the tv on, my things were nicely organized on the nightstand or on top of the suitcase, and Shawn... He was laying in the middle of my bed, with his curls a little damp, wearing his flannel plants and hoodie, barefoot, scrolling through some social media, oh so casually. God, he’s going to kill me without even trying.

“Hi” I said in a really soft tone, softer than I intended.

“Oh, hi, honey, are you ready for bed?” He asked and I just nodded “c’mere” he said opening his arms for me and I just crawled into bed with him, getting lost in the warmth of his body and scent.

“You’re the most caring person I’ve ever met”

“Thank you, I truly try to be”

“I know, and you are, and I love you”

“I love you too, Y/N, you have no idea”

Oh, I do.

“Thank you, for everything”

“You don’t have to thank me... but I won’t turn this into a discussion, so... what time are we getting up tomorrow?”

“Dunno, what time is it?”

“A quarter past midnight”

“8:30? So we can be downstairs at 9 am for breakfast? They said they’re going to leave the hotel at ten o’clock sharp so if we do this, we’ll have time”

“Yeah, that’s nice, but since I’ve been to Paris before, if you wanna do something separate or something they don’t want to, just tell me, and I’ll take you anywhere”

“Okay, great to know I have my own tourist guide” I said between a yawn and he chuckled.

“Okay, I really need to let you sleep” he said letting go of me and getting up, straightening the duvet on top of me and kissing my forehead “goodnight, honey, knock if you need me, okay?”

I nodded and held his hand.

“What, baby?”

“Thank you, for apologizing and making up for it, I missed you too” I said and he gave me a half smile.

“I’m still on the process, I hope someday I’ll be able to make it up to you”

“You already have... I... goodnight, Shawn” I said nuzzling on my pillow and letting go of his hand, but not before squeezing it lightly.

“Goodnight, Y/N” he said almost like a whisper as he left the room and I let the slumber take over me.

-*-

*Please reblog or like this post if you liked it so I'll know if I'm supposed to keep posting this series thing.

*I'm sorry if there are any spelling mistakes.

*Please do not repost this without giving me the credit, this is a completely original piece and I do not give permission to copy this!

*Hope you guys enjoyed it!

*xoxo*

-🌙

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saltine-kakyoin · 4 years

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hii for the ask game 28/29 maybe🥺 also if u have any song recs for me I could really need it i mean we all remember the wuthering heights incident 😳 anyways hope ur doing ok!! wishing u the best🤼‍♂️💕

jules!!!! howdy hey! even though i see you on the daily, i’ve missed you!!! 🥺🥺🥺 thank you for sending these in! i ended up writing quite a bit, so i’m putting this under a readmore! ^^

28. Name a book you don’t mind reading over and over.

oh man, this is a tough one bc it’s been so long since i’ve Read a book ;w; one book that I remember thoroughly enjoying in high school and wishing I could read again (every month i flip-flop about whether or not to order it haha) is A Tale for the Time Being by Ruth Ozeki! I don’t remember it super well anymore, but I recall it really opening sophomore Sarah’s eyes to many things. if you’re interested in checking it out, I would just advise caution bc I do recall it discussing suicide

29. Do you collect anything? And what are some hobbies you have?

so i already answered this one BUT i realized i forgot things! alongside plushies and score-books, I also collect the programs from my performances + any shows I’ve gone to see, alongside any ticket stubs I may have received from those! i keep thing in a big ole binder- I actually had to move them all to a new binder a few years ago because there were too many qwq I also like collecting sheet music for the songs I’ve performed, but I haven’t ordered any new sheet music in a long time ^^;

i also wanted to elaborate on the asmr thing, bc some people read that and go 🤢👉🤢👉🤢👉 mic-licker! but that’s the not asmr i want to make! (when i originally posted this i was typing WAY too fast and completely missed typing ‘not’... pls know i am not that kind of gal ;o;) The asmr I really want to create one day would kind of be similar to the content from Goodnight Moon and ATMOSPHERE: really story-driven and detail-oriented! i also want to incorporate aspects of Latte’s style, where she’ll jump to a close-up shot for certain actions (ie pouring a cup of tea), and Dana’s style with all the special effects! i think it’d be such a fun way to explore Foley artistry and work on my acting skills, but i’ve always been too shy to start recording 🙈🙈

as for song recs.....bro i feel like the one girl at the party w the beam coming out of her, i always get so PUMPED when we share songs!!! (never forget the wuthering heights incident 😳😳) here are my recs!

I’m Not Calling You a Liar by Florence and the Machine!! admittedly, i heard the dragon age 2 version of this song before i heard the actual version, and it is gorgeous too, don’t get me wrong!!! but i personally prefer the original instrumentation more uwu

Fool’s Errand by Fleet Foxes- jules i am DEEP in the throes of my fleet foxes addiction and this song has me in a mfin chokehold.. i love this song so so much, i love how the singer’s voice just soars during the chorus. another song i really enjoy from fleet foxes is I Am All That I Need / Arroyo Seco / Thumbprint Scar, which ouughhh it makes me so sad. I listen to it a lot when thinking about my DA2 player character ;_;

Feet of Clay by Vashti Bunyan- i recently discovered vashti’s songs and oHH they all hit me emotionally T T this one makes me feel many many things, and I’d love to dance to this song if/when i get married someday 🥺 i also love if i were/ same but different, which is a much sadder duo

Locket by Crumb- this song is a bit repetitive and 1000% an earworm kinda song, but god the instrumentation is SO good

Television Romance by Pale Waves- okay so frfr i originally decided to listen to this song bc i thought that the vocalist was hot umu;; however, it’s really catchy too!! I like that the lyrics kind of run counter to the sound of the song, and I really enjoyed the wistful, almost regretful?? or maybe resenting?? expressions the singer pulls between the choruses and verses

The Machinist by Japanese Breakfast- so i’m sure you’ve probably already heard this considering you introduced me to japanese breakfast, but!!! i’m recommending it anyways bc i have been JAMMING to this song lately... when the song goes ‘it could be bliss’ i’m like bRO IT IS BLISS ;_;

Need Your Love by Tennis- this was the first song i ever heard from them, but I really like their sound! the ‘baby you’ve got more poison than sugar’ section is SO fucking good, oh my goddd

Waltz Me to the Grave by Kimbra- i will love kimbra’s entire discography until i die, but god this song has always been really dear to me. I listened to this SO much when I was trying to rewrite nge so that basically everyone lived (ikik, i was like 14 ;__;), and it has kind of lingered in my head every since. i love the instrumentation through the middle of the sing, that shit SLAPS in the dark at 2:23am.. some other faves from her are the build up, 90′s music, like they do on the tv, and version of me! but every song from her is so so good i honestly recommend them all

Stone by Raveena! every single raveena song is the best song in existence, but this one.... ooh it hurts ;__; i originally listened to this song as inspiration for one of my characters, but i’ve really been relating to it more personally lately. Raveena’s entire Lucid album is *chef kiss* if NOT *chef marriage*, but I also really love Headaches, If Only, Sweet Time, and Temptation!

Valentino by FKA Twigs- so this is actually Mary Magdalene, Cellophane, and Home With You, but the specific way they’ve been blended for this fashion show is TRANSCENDENT!!! I’ve loved Twigs’ music for so many years now, but her entire Magdalene album is such a new and interesting development for her already kind of abstract sound to take, and I’m a huge fan! c: daybed wasn’t featured in the fashion show, but it’s another one of my favorites from this album!

this last one is like... a Bonus and also Not An Actual Song, but JULES my brother and i heard it and IMMEDIATELY started crying, it’s the funniest thing i’ve heard in a long time. if you’re in need of hysterical laughter, pls give Monkey Type Beat a listen ;w;

#whenever we share music recs i ASCEND ;w; ilysm jules!#i've been doing a bit terribly lately but i'm hoping this upcoming week will be kinder! i hope you're doing well!!!#sriracha ask game #plaguelikeits1347

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purplesurveys · 4 years

Text

1047

What’s the most historic thing that has happened in your lifetime? I can think of a few things. There’s 9/11 though I was barely conscious then, Osama Bin Laden’s death, the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami, 2011 Japan earthquake, and the H1N1 and Covid pandemics. In my country, there were typhoons Ondoy and Yolanda, the Manila hostage crisis, and the Hello Garci election corruption scandal. Out of these, though, I’d say the heaviest ones to bear have been 9/11 and Covid.

What happens in your country regularly that people in most countries would find strange or bizarre?

We use a spoon and fork to eat and only really fancy shmancy restaurants give you a knife and a fork. Many eat with their hands as well, though this is way more common in provinces.

Everyone is late to everything and punctuality isn’t a thing, which is a big culture pet peeve of mine and I still like arriving early/on time anywhere.

This applies to Asia in general lmao, but shoes typically aren’t allowed or at least frowned upon if they go beyond the main entrance of houses.

We start Christmas as early as September, and we end it by the last week of January

When families get together, aunts/uncles will usually greet their nieces/nephews by asking if they already have a boy/girlfriend and/or telling them that they got fat. Horror relatives will greet you with both.

People generally like to keep to themselves, so striking a friendly conversation with strangers even if you have the pure, genuine intention to be simply friendly will just lead them to think you’re being a creep lol

What has been blown way out of proportion? The effects of video games and the question of it increasing violence among kids. Sure there’ve been gruesome accounts and no one’s invalidating those, but the overwhelmingly vast amount of people who play video games end up okay. I had so many killing binges on GTA but to this day I can’t even look at a real gun without shuddering, lol. When was a time you acted nonchalant but were going crazy inside? This is me every morning at work. 9 AM-11 AM is always the busiest period and it’s a lot of shit happening at the same time and a lot of morning deadlines to meet, but unlike college I can’t exactly call for a timeout whenever I want and have panic attacks anymore.

What’s about to get much better? I hope my fucking life is next in line. I’m tired of being tired of being tired.

What are some clever examples of misdirection you’ve seen? Probably all the times WWE would mislead viewers on a rumored return or debut of a big name by saying they’re in another city, implying that there’s no way they’d be appearing on a WWE show. This happened with Ronda Rousey and it was so fucking exciting when she finally showed up, haha.

What’s your funniest story involving a car? I don’t know, really...I don’t try to be funny when I’m on the wheel lol. Probably the time I let Angela use my car on campus, and when she needed to make a u-turn she ended up doing an awkward 90º turn and had an SUV nearly crash towards us. She had only driven a handful of times at that point so she was a little clumsy, but neither of us had any idea she’d fuck up a simple u-turn as badly as she ended up doing lmao.

What would be the click-bait titles of some popular movies? I can think of more clickbait posters than titles, but I can’t seem to remember what those films are called right now.

If you built a themed hotel, what would the theme be and what would the rooms look like? Themed hotels generally make me cringe. The most theme-y place we ever stayed at was the lodge in Sagada and it was really just more homey than anything. I’m not into themes when it comes to hotels as I find it a little cheap lol and I’ve always preferred a straightforward experience in the places I stay at for vacations.

What scientific discovery would change the course of humanity overnight if it was discovered? A way to live forever. < This is a good one. Also, maybe a huge asteroid or meteor bound to hit the planet that will make widespread extinction a certainty? I can’t even begin to imagine the panic that will rise from something like that.

Do you think that humans will ever be able to live together in harmony? I doubt it. It sounds difficult especially when you realize we’re 7 billion in total.

What would your perfect bar look like? As long as there aren’t any annoying younger college kids, who are almost always the loudest crowd and not in a good way, I’m okay with any kind of bar.

What’s the scariest non-horror movie? Some shots in 2001: A Space Odyssey are freaky as fuck. There were several scenes that included sudden HAL shots, and I did not enjoy those. How the fuck Kubrick managed to make a computer scary is beyond me. I’ve also always skipped the vortex scene with the creepy face shots after seeing it once.

What’s the most amazing true story you’ve heard? This is a really vague question... a few months ago I watched this video diary of parents who had a child born at like 25 weeks. Just way too early, basically. And they recorded the kid’s weekly progress, how she kept fighting, and her journey of being transported from one machine to another while she still needed them. It was beautiful to see her get bigger and plumper with each week that passed and it was just such a feel-good story to watch. I was so relieved when they showed footage of her as a normal, healthy toddler by the end of the clip.

What’s the grossest food that you just can’t get enough of? I know balut is pretty unpopular in the Western part of the world, but I’ll gladly eat a dozen of them in one sitting. In general Asian street food is usually considered gross - pig intestines, chicken intestines, chicken feet, pig ears, etc., but all are normal in the culture I was raised in.

What brand are you most loyal to? It’s annoying and I can’t help it, but Apple.

What’s the most awkward thing that happens to you on a regular basis? I try not to make it regular, but sometimes a mistake on my end will slip through in an email I’m sending and I have to send another email correcting myself and apologizing for the oversight. One of my least favorite parts about work.

If you had to disappear and start a whole new life, what would you want your new life to look like? I’m not wishing for much. I just wish it was easier to remove any trace of me on social media sites and have it be as if I never existed because I think that would make it easier for me to move on from...well, you know what. I still have trouble verbalizing it and I don’t feel like mentioning it tonight.

But idk, I like staying connected to my family and friends, so idk if I can ever achieve that. And that said, I think I’m bound to always keep seeing her around.

What movie or book do you know the most quotes from? I memorize a pathetic amount of dialogue from Love Actually, Twilight, Titanic, and The Proposal. What was one of the most interesting concerts you’ve been to? I guess Coldplay? They gave assigned lightsticks for each section and the crowd looked amazing when the production crew activated the lights for certain songs. I still have some of the clips because I posted them on Snapchat, so I’m really glad I did that; otherwise I would’ve lost the videos forever.

Where are you not welcome anymore? I’ve felt pretty unwelcome around her. How she could do a 180 and just not be interested in having anything to do with me is really soul-crushing.

What do you think could be done to improve the media? Fact fucking check, please. Also keeping sources balanced, avoiding clickbait headlines, being more objective than neutral, and don’t fucking sensationalize. How timely that this landed on a journalism graduate, hahaha.

What’s the most recent show you’ve binge watched? Start Up but I haven’t continued in the last two weeks :/ I think it’s because I know I’m nearing the finale and I subconsciously just don’t want to run out of Start Up episodes to watch lol but yeah, I still have four episodes left and I have no clue when I’ll watch it again.

What’s a common experience for many people that you’ve never experienced? Being close with their mom and considering them as their rock.

What are some misconceptions about your hobby? I don’t know enough about embroidery to know misconceptions about it.

What did you Google last? 2001: A Space Odyssey because I needed to be sure of the scenes I planned on citing in the question above that made me mention the movie.

What’s the dumbest thing someone has argued with you about? Not being able to find a restaurant to eat at. The backstory is a little complicated but it’s the same fight that led my younger brother to slap me across the face, and what subsequently led me to stop speaking to him.

If money and practicality weren’t a problem, what would be the most interesting way to get around town? Probably a tank.

What’s the longest rabbit hole you’ve been down? It’s always the ones on Wikipedia lol. I find weird and interesting articles on there all the time; there’s always something new to read.

What odd smell do you really enjoy? The rain, though sometimes it can be too overpowering when the humidity has been high. I like it for the most part, though.

What fashion trend makes you cringe or laugh every time you see it? Streetwear is so fucking dull to me. I never saw the appeal.

What’s your best story of you or someone else trying to be sneaky and failing miserably? Hahahaha this happened just a few weeks ago actually. My parents and I were headed out to have some ramen, and I opened the car door to hop onto the backseat. They didn’t prepare beforehand and they left the Christmas gift I asked for - a corkboard - in the backseat, so I was able to see the whole thing, unwrapped and with price tag and all. Their mortified faces knowing that their secret’s been blown were hilarious. They had no choice but to just give it up, and the corkboard has been on my wall since.

If you had a HUD that showed three stats about any person you looked at, what three stats would you want it to show? I guess the stability of our relationship, their general mood for the day, and erm how badly they need a hug because I’m always willing to give some.

What’s the best way you or someone you know has gotten out of a ticket / trouble with the law? My mom fake-cries her way out and it’s always been hilarious to see a grown ass woman do it and pull it off every time.

Tear gas makes people cry and laughing gas makes people giggle, what other kinds of gases do you wish existed? I don’t really want to manipulate people’s action in this way, so pass.

#survey #surveys

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