#gave myself a fever from being so stressed about school and I get to think about them as a treat

[scopop08]

Not feeling good and can't organize my thoughts well so i might write something for this later cause I'm thinking about it so hard but.

Tango proudly showing Jimmy Decked Out, and Jimmy being in absolute awe of how incredible it is. Having a little "And you said you weren't a builder, huh" moment as Tango leads him through the catacombs, making Jimmy listen to all of the sound effects and showing him the redstone so proudly even though Jimmy has no idea what it is in the slightest. He's just happy to sit back and listen as his soulmate goes on about something he cares so much for, watching how a sharp smile breaks across Tango's face after showing each new thingamajig redstoneinator and how the dungeon master attempts to hide the way his cheeks flush every time Jimmy stands a little too close and leans over him to compliment his work.

[mariana-oconnor]

The Naval Treaty pt 3

Yes, we apparently have got to the point where I'm memeing myself.

Right, last time, after Percy, Watson's old 'pal' from school failed magnificently at understanding how to protect confidential data, he followed an old woman into the night and the stress gave him a brain fever. Meanwhile, I'm still certain that Joseph Harrison, who has not been implicated in any way, is involved because I am a well-balanced and entirely reasonable person.

Mr. Joseph Harrison drove us down to the station

See! He's trying to get rid of you! 🤣🤣😂

“It's a very cheery thing to come into London by any of these lines which run high, and allow you to look down upon the houses like this.”

Last time we had Holmes looking out a train window: Ugh, look how terrible the countryside is! I can't bear it.

The contrast is palpable.

“The board-schools.” “Light-houses, my boy! Beacons of the future! Capsules with hundreds of bright little seeds in each, out of which will spring the wise, better England of the future. I suppose that man Phelps does not drink?”

Board schools are not the same as boarding schools, the internet tells me, but the first state run schools with no religious affiliation. I was about to be cynical about Holmes' view of children and Victorian educational standards, but I can't. He's right, those schools were important and really did pave the way for a brighter future.

And then a bit of mental whiplash as he snaps back to the case at hand, because he's Holmes.

In answer to the question, I can't say whether Percy drinks alcohol, but he definitely has a caffeine addiction that he should work on. If not for that, he wouldn't be in this mess.

Also, it was unreasonable of his uncle to expect him to copy so much text in a foreign language in one night. But even so, Percy needs to work harder on curbing his need for coffee.

"Then came the smash, and she stayed on to nurse her lover, while brother Joseph, finding himself pretty snug, stayed on too."

Oh, so he's just hanging around leeching off people, huh? Exactly as I suspected! This is just the beginning. Clearly, he's been a wrong'un all along and I will be vindicated.

"But to-day must be a day of inquiries.” “My practice—” I began. “Oh, if you find your own cases more interesting than mine—” said Holmes, with some asperity.

First of all, Watson does have a job, Holmes. I get that you want to play with him, but he does have responsibilities. You really shouldn't be bitchy about that.

Second, if Watson actually cares enough about his patients to ditch you, that would be the first time ever.

“I was going to say that my practice could get along very well for a day or two, since it is the slackest time in the year.”

See. No problem at all. Why would Watson ever do his actual job when he could be running around with Holmes? What a preposterous idea!

"...there is Lord Holdhurst.” “Lord Holdhurst!” “Well, it is just conceivable that a statesman might find himself in a position where he was not sorry to have such a document accidentally destroyed.” “Not a statesman with the honorable record of Lord Holdhurst?”

Oh Watson, my sweet summer child. Out there believing in unicorns and fairies and honourable politicians.

I discounted him because honestly, a political plot involving the politician uncle and corruption seemed too spy thriller. Also, the time frame of everything being nine weeks ago, I think discounts a political motive because if there were spy games going on, it would be far too late to do anything about it. Of course, it might be the case. These stories have surprised me a few times so far.

“£10 reward. The number of the cab which dropped a fare at or about the door of the Foreign Office in Charles Street at quarter to ten in the evening of May 23d. Apply 221b, Baker Street.”

The Bank of England inflation calculator tells me that's equivalent to approximately £1000 today, which is a pretty impressive reward for a little bit of information. Honestly, I'd expect people to be climbing out of the woodwork to say they saw Queen Victoria herself driving the cab and dropping off Jack the Ripper.

"Why yes, Mr Holmes, I saw a man with a long white beard and carrying a large sack. No, it was right odd, y'see: he didn't go in through the door. He climbed up on' roof and went down the chimney, that he did."

"And then, of course, there is the bell—which is the most distinctive feature of the case. Why should the bell ring?"

This is what I'm most interested in. What is up with that bell?

He sank back into the state of intense and silent thought from which he had emerged; but it seemed to me, accustomed as I was to his every mood, that some new possibility had dawned suddenly upon him.

Tell me! Tell me! I need to know. The bell is plaguing me.

a small, foxy man with a sharp but by no means amiable expression.

So Lestrade is a ferret and Forbes is a fox. Must all police officers be described as animals? This appears to be a pattern.

“You are ready enough to use all the information that the police can lay at your disposal, and then you try to finish the case yourself and bring discredit on them.” “On the contrary,” said Holmes, “out of my last fifty-three cases my name has only appeared in four, and the police have had all the credit in forty-nine. I don't blame you for not knowing this, for you are young and inexperienced, but if you wish to get on in your new duties you will work with me and not against me.” “I'd be very glad of a hint or two,” said the detective, changing his manner.

Forbes changes his tune pretty quickly here, so he seems open minded enough. Although it does seem a bit like he doesn't understand the purpose of Holmes. Yes, he's supposed to take all the evidence the police give him and try to solve the case. That's kind of how being a detective works. I get the emphasis here is on 'yourself', but still.

I like this exchange, because we've already seen in the stories that Holmes really doesn't care about the notoriety or the accolades - though he's more than willing to display gifts he's given in his own home - it's entirely the case and helping the people involved that he cares about.

Not sure he really needed to say that 'you are young and inexperienced' bit, though. Seems a tad direct.

“We have set one of our women on to her. Mrs. Tangey drinks, and our woman has been with her twice when she was well on, but she could get nothing out of her.”

OK, I thought it sounded unlikely that there were female police officers in the late 1800s, and it seems like the first female police officer in London was in 1919. But it definitely appears from this that they have women working for them - unless one of them has set his wife on a suspect, which... fair. Fascinating either way.

Also, Mrs Tangey has an alcohol problem, that could be an angle.

“What explanation did she give of having answered the bell when Mr. Phelps rang for the coffee?” “She said that he husband was very tired and she wished to relieve him.”

Alright, so it either was her, or she's involved in some way. Which I think we already suspected, but this clarifies that no one impersonated her without her knowledge, at least.

“Did you point out to her that you and Mr. Phelps, who started at least twenty minutes after he, got home before her?” “She explains that by the difference between a 'bus and a hansom.”

That's fair. Not everyone can afford their own taxi. Check your privilege, Holmes.

Standing on the rug between us, with his slight, tall figure, his sharp features, thoughtful face, and curling hair prematurely tinged with gray, he seemed to represent that not too common type, a nobleman who is in truth noble.

I may have rolled my eyes at this bit. Watson sometimes needs to back off on his earnest belief in the glory of England and its political and social systems. He's so classist it's actually painful at some points. Even if he's saying the type is 'not too common' it just makes me wrinkle my nose.

I also don't like Lord Holdhurst, but that's mainly because I believe hereditary nobility is immoral and also because he is a tory politician. There was never any hope of me liking him. I don't think he murders puppies, but I bet he'd pass legislation saying that murdering puppies is okay in certain circumstances if his old chum wanted to start a puppy murdering business and was a generous donor.

"I fear that the incident must have a very prejudicial effect upon his career.”

Yeah, that I do agree with.

“But if the document is found?” “Ah, that, of course, would be different.”

This, I do not agree with. Not after nine weeks, anyway. If it had been a couple of hours and the document was found to have fallen down the gap between the desk and the wall then he could probably just be given extra training and not allowed to touch confidential documentation without supervision for a few years. But it's been nine weeks. That treaty is lost. Even if it's returned, he still lost it for nine weeks.

“Did you ever mention to any one that it was your intention to give any one the treaty to be copied?” “Never.” “You are certain of that?” “Absolutely.”

OK. That cuts off that line of thinking, as Watson's insistence on him looking 'noble' clearly means we're supposed to believe him. But we already knew it wasn't him.

Because it's Joseph Harrison.

“If the treaty had reached, let us say, the French or Russian Foreign Office, you would expect to hear of it?” “I should,” said Lord Holdhurst, with a wry face.

Like I say, any political motivations would have been thoroughly completed by now, before Holmes was even called upon, so that's not likely.

“Of course, it is a possible supposition that the thief has had a sudden illness—” “An attack of brain-fever, for example?”

Given he called Holmes in, I sincerely doubt Percy's involved. Again, if this weren't a Sherlock Holmes story, there's a slim possibility it could be that his brain fever cause amnesia meaning that he doesn't remember taking the treaty and causing the whole problem, but that doesn't seem like a likely plot here.

“But he has a struggle to keep up his position. He is far from rich and has many calls. You noticed, of course, that his boots had been re-soled?"

OK so now we give him a motive, when you've all just gone on about how he's a 'fine fellow'? Are Lord Holdsworth's money problems going to be relevant to the plot? Maybe. We've heard nothing of Percy having any cousins, so as it stands he might be his uncle's heir. Not sure how that would lead to the treaty being stolen, but we'll bear it in mind.

Ah, and then Watson is racist again. Native Americans this time. These stories are really trying to spread the racism around, aren't they. This whole section is strange though, because it's about how Watson can't read Holmes' face, when multiple times (in this very story) he's said how he knows Holmes so well that he can instantly tell from his face what Holmes is thinking.

“God bless you for saying that!” cried Miss Harrison. “If we keep our courage and our patience the truth must come out.”

She and Watson should get together and have optimist meetings.

Although, it's definitely your brother, Miss Harrison. I don't know how, but it is. It's got to be. We're running out of suspects. Mrs Tangey seems like she might be involved, but I doubt she's the mastermind behind events.

Maybe Joseph just bribed her into trying to discredit Percy, she saw the paper and thought 'well this looks important' and took it not really knowing what it was.

But that doesn't explain the bell. Unless it's because she was drunk and she stumbled and grabbed it. Or she didn't really want to be doing it, so she pulled it in a weird attempt to get caught. Or she let Harrison in and then saw him stealing something and pulled the bell, only to be threatened if she said anything.

“Yes, we have had an adventure during the night, and one which might have proved to be a serious one.” His expression grew very grave as he spoke, and a look of something akin to fear sprang up in his eyes. “Do you know,” said he, “that I begin to believe that I am the unconscious centre of some monstrous conspiracy, and that my life is aimed at as well as my honor?”

He's probably right to be worried - maybe not for his life, but I'm pretty sure this entirely thing is aimed at him, not the treaty. But at the same time, this does not sound like the thinking of a mentally healthy person.

"A man was crouching at the window."

No. No, you see it could be him. Of course you're going to want to make it seem like it was someone from outside forcing their way in. To keep the suspicion off the people who live in the house. It has to be him. Has to be.

Did he have a knife, or was it just something that looked like a knife... like...

uh...

The thing he used to unlock the window?

"As it was, I rang the bell and roused the house. It took me some little time, for the bell rings in the kitchen and the servants all sleep upstairs. I shouted, however, and that brought Joseph down, and he roused the others."

Oh oh... convenient, being the first person on the scene, huh? Was that because you weren't in bed asleep at all? Mr Joseph Harrison?

(If I am by some miracle right about this, it will be entirely undeserved as literally the only reason I decided it was him is because he seemed too happy and his sister is getting married)

"There's a place, however, on the wooden fence which skirts the road which shows signs, they tell me, as if some one had got over, and had snapped the top of the rail in doing so."

Okay... well... well... that doesn't really fit with my theory at all, but maybe it's a coincidence. People climb over fences all the time. Maybe it happened ages ago. I bet they don't check the fences every day. Totally not a sign I'm wrong.

“Oh, yes, I should like a little sunshine. Joseph will come, too.”

Why?

No, seriously. Why? Percy says Joseph will come, but not his fiancee? That's weird. Is it because Joseph is stronger if Percy needs to be carried back?

"I should have thought those larger windows of the drawing-room and dining-room would have had more attractions for him.” “They are more visible from the road,” suggested Mr. Joseph Harrison.

And right here we have the classic Columbo moment. I know Sherlock Holmes came first, no need to send me angry messages. But this is something that happens in Every. Single. Columbo. It's part of his method, it's kind of his whole method. He makes a comment about 'I wonder why the murderer didn't do x' to the person he (and the audience) knows is the murderer and the villain, in an attempt to cover their own tracks, immediately presents an explanation.

“Do you think that was done last night? It looks rather old, does it not?” “Well, possibly so.”

Aw shucks, is Holmes not falling for your clever ruse? What a pity!

“Miss Harrison,” said Holmes, speaking with the utmost intensity of manner, “you must stay where you are all day. Let nothing prevent you from staying where you are all day. It is of the utmost importance.” “Certainly, if you wish it, Mr. Holmes,” said the girl in astonishment.

Not the weirdest thing Holmes has ever asked a person to do - still remember Watson pretzeling himself behind the headboard that one time - but still kinda weird. I hope she has some sort of enrichment in her enclosure. Tell me she has a bookcase at least.

“Why do you sit moping there, Annie?” cried her brother. “Come out into the sunshine!”

Look! LOOK! He's trying to get her out of the room. He hid the treaty in the room and now he's trying to get it back but he can't! All aboard the Joseph Harrison train, next stop: Vindication.

Got to assume that even though Joseph wasn't present when Holmes was speaking to Anne, or when he was speaking to Percy, he will be aware that Percy is not in the house. But he'll only be able to break into the room by the window again, so I guess that is the plan. To catch him red-handed.

[dp-marvel94]

Fanwork creators self rec! When you get this, reply with your five favorite fics/art/podfics/etc. that you've made, then pass on to others. Let’s spread the self-love 🌼

(No pressure if you don't want to though!)

Hope you have a good day! ✨

This is too sweet! 🥺🥰🤗

In no particular order:

Face to Face should be a surprise to no one. I've been writing it for three and a half years. It's almost 280K long. I'm so proud of myself for sticking with it this long. A lot has changed in my life since I started this. Writing the story actually was very important to understanding and accepting myself as an autistic person. I'm in a much better place emotionally now. And I literally just have the epilogue left to write. 😭 I'm going to finish it after Invisobang, I swear!

Speaking of Invisobang!

This is the 76K monstrosity I wrote in three months for the first Invisobang. There was a lot of tears in writing it. I'm pretty sure I gave myself headaches just about every day with the stress I was putting myself under. Honestly, I never want to do that again. 😅😓💀 But there were a lot of emotions in there I think I needed to get out of me. It helped me deal with some things; there were a lot of emotions I needed to get out of me so I'm happy I wrote in, even if it hurt.

So apparently, I'm going to be a debby-downer for all these. :( This was the first multi-chapter fic I ever wrote, my first real dip into writing fanfiction (after a one shot I wrote near by birthday in 2018 to cheer myself up). I wrote it in the month or so after graduating from graduate school. I wrote with a fever and excitement I hadn't felt in a long time and my sister beta-read it with me, just as excited as I was.

*Religious discussion to follow*

Honestly this story saved my life. For the past year or so, especially the last semester of grad school, I was in the deepest depression and anxiety I've ever experienced. I kept running into road blocks in my research. Nothing was going the way I wanted. I never got to see my family; with my sister being my best friend (and still is) that was a big deal. I did many things I am deeply ashamed of and I felt so alone. And I was so angry at God for letting me get that deep. I felt like he'd abandoned me. I was convinced if He didn't even care about me at all. Which was absolutly earth-shattering for me; I'd never had my faith shaken like that. In all honestly, I came really close to leaving the church. I'd already checked out mentally. I stopped listening to Christian Music (yes even Disciple) because I couldn't enjoy it anymore; all those promises in the songs felt like getting stabbed when I knew that God had forgot about me.

The point, the depression and guilt and running from God (because I was running from Him; He never abandoned me) turned into a vicious cycle, driving my deeper and deeper, farther and farther away. Things only started getting better once I graduated. And something finally pushed me to start writing. And writing Double Discovery was the first step in climbing out of that depression and coming back to church. Or rather.... it was what Jesus used, completely oblivious to me, to start to pull me out of the pit and bring me back to Him. Looking back now, I have no doubt. God lead me to the DP community. He gave me the special interest I have, the passion, my talent for writing, the ideas. I remember praying (ie begging), before things got really bad and I can't even stomach the thought of talking to God, for Him to help me. It didn't come when I want it to or how I would have imagined or even wanted. But He did help me. He never abandoned me.

*End Religious Discussion*

Okay, these last two will just be fun, I swear!

I wrote this for my first Phic Phight. It's the first story of mine someone made fanart for. Check out this piece by @paenling

Another Phic Phight offering, this one from 2021. I had to include one of my numerous clone sibling stories. XD

[missmorosis]

sick manager :)

-> feat. sugawara and kuroo

part 1 with bokuto, oikawa, and tsukishima here!

genre: fluff!

synopsis: y/n, the manager of her school’s volleyball team, finds herself sick after days of hard  work, yet she still goes to school to support her team~ 

warnings: the reader is sick, and she passes out in kuroo’s scenario :))

pairings: sugawara x reader, kuroo x reader (separate!!)

total word count: 1.5k

a/n: OKAY SO HAHHSLKDFJ RIGHT WHEN I WAS WRITING THIS CHAPTER I GOT SICK W/ A FEVER- I THINK I JINXED MYSELF OMG

i tried to make the scenario KINDA different, but with the same idea hehe

anYWAYS i’m so sorry if this makes like zero sense AHSLDKF- i wrote a lot while i was sick SO ill blame it on fever delusion if it flops 😌

OH AND THIS IS FOR @haikyuuheartsclub ty for reading the first one and asking for a part 2 hehe <33

You getting sick was inevitable.

You knew that you were bound to get sick with all of the work you had been doing and all of the late nights you spent preparing volleyball strategies, planning practice tournaments for your team, or studying until your eyesight blurred.

Being your school's volleyball team manager was not only hard, but it was ridiculously time consuming. Not to mention that you were bombarded with schoolwork, and you had exams coming up. Your stress levels had never been higher, and you were practically living off of caffeine with the amount of sleep you were always lacking.

So when you woke up with a sick feeling and the worst headache, you weren't completely surprised. Annoyed would have been a better word.

You knew that your team was getting ready for an important tournament, so you would have to stay extra long for practice. Groaning as you got ready, you weren't sure you could make it through the day.

You sluggishly pulled on a hoodie and brushed your teeth, taking note of how warm you felt as you washed your face. Grabbing a thermometer, you quickly measured your temperature.

100.4 Fahrenheit. Not too bad... just a low-grade fever. You tried to shrug it off and ignored how disgusting your body felt. You slung a backpack over your shoulder and walked out the door, heading to school.

You waited at the bus stop, shaking your head to try and make the sickness go away. When the bus arrived a while later, you plopped down onto the closest seat and you couldn’t stop your eyes from closing. You were just so... tired...

You drifted off to sleep, the soft sound of the bus driving across the road comforting you.

...

“Uh, Y/N?” Someone was shaking your side, and you immediately lifted your head from the bus window you were leaning on. It seemed like you just closed your eyes a second ago... where were you now?

"Mm?" you hummed sleepily, blinking slowly. You rubbed your eyes as the sunlight filtered through the window, and it made you feel warmer than you already felt.

"Hey, sorry to wake you, but we’re already at school." You looked outside, and he was right; you saw Karasuno in the near distance. 

Your brain processed the fact that Sugawara, a third year from Karasuno’s volleyball team, was sitting next to you. You saw his blurred figure lean next to you, and he brushed some hair out of your face. His fingers grazed against your forehead, but he quickly froze. 

"Y/N- Y/N! Why is your forehead so hot?" He studied your face with concerned eyes, noticing how tired you looked.

"Hm? No, it’s not. It wasn’t that high when I checked... probably the sunlight..." you mumbled, leaning on the back of your bus seat behind you. You put a hand on your forehead, and it confirmed that you were indeed burning up; it was considerably warmer than earlier in the morning. You groaned and got up.

"You don’t look too good, don't you think you should go home-" Sugawara started, but you interrupted him.

"No, you need your manager today, you guys have a game soon," you said, your tone tired but strict. Sugawara eyed you anxiously, but you waved him off. "I'll be fine," you reassured him. Grabbing your backpack, you got up from your seat, heading for the bus’ exit.

Woah.

You knew you were sick, but you didn't think you would be this dizzy. Everything seemed to sway to one side, and you put one arm on the seat of the bus, leaning on it for support. You rested your head on your arm, and you felt Sugawara’s arm wrapping around you for support.

“Alright, now you have no choice. You’re taking a break, whether you like it or not, clearly something’s not okay,” he told you, and you were too lightheaded to argue. You just nodded along and he helped you back into your seat. 

You clutched your head as you tried to make everything go away. Sugawara went to talk to the bus driver in the background, and miraculously, the driver made an exception for you.

“We’re ahead of schedule anyways,” the bus driver reasoned. He turned the bus around, heading back towards your house.

“Okay, now that that’s done, you can sleep if you want to. You could probably use the rest, I can only imagine how tired you are...” Sugawara said softly, and you gave a small nod. You scooted further down into the seats, making enough space for the boy to sit next to you. He gladly obliged, and he couldn’t help but smile at the sight of you drifting off to sleep. Your head subconsciously drifted onto his shoulder, but he didn’t mind.

“Hey, Koushi?” you mumbled, your voice coated with sleepiness.

“Yeah? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing... I just wanted to thank you.” Your eyes remained closed, and Sugawara couldn’t tell if the blush on your face was from your fever... or something else? 

“You need to take breaks, you know. You work really hard, it’s a wonder you haven’t dropped dead yet,” he said, half jokingly. “Thank you.” You smiled, and finally fell asleep.

Kuroo found you in the classrooms; your head was down, and your headache was terrible. You were almost asleep; you were trying your best to stay awake, and you weren't sure how long you could keep it up.

He was walking down the halls, casually glancing into your classroom to see if you were finished, and he softly smiled at the sight of you.

"Tired, Y/N?" Kuroo asked, smirking as he tapped your shoulder.

"Hm?" You lifted your head up, surprised at the unexpected touch. "Oh- Kuroo, shut up," you replied, rolling your eyes as you stretched. He laughed and grabbed your backpack for you, slinging it over his own shoulder.

“Ready for practice?” he asked, looking down at you. You nodded, and the two of you walked to the gym.

Your head was killing you with every step you took, but you had no choice but to ignore it. You looked to the distance, trying to ease your headache. Kuroo’s voice was slowly melting into background noise. 

Suddenly you froze and stopped walking, earning a curious glance from Kuroo. You were forgetting something...

“Wait- where’s my... backpack?” You spotted it on the boy next to you, and you shook your head. “Sorry, forgot that you had it,” you said, with a sheepish laugh.

“Something wrong?” he frowned. “You’re acting distracted... more distracted than usual, anyways.” You shook your head, deciding to keep your sickness to yourself.

“I’m good, just tired,” you assured him. He nodded slowly, and walked into the gym, you following close behind.

Only you, Kuroo, and the coaches were in the gym; you were early. You flashed a quick smile as you waved hello.

"Great, you guys are early. I have a couple strategies to discuss," the coach said, gesturing to a whiteboard in front of him. The two of you nodded, and he began to explain.

"Alright... if we're going to win this next match..." he started, but you couldn't make yourself pay attention. The only thing on your mind was how your head wouldn't stop hurting, everything seemed to echo, and just overall how sick you felt.

"What do you think, Y/N?" Kuroo asked, quirking an eyebrow in your direction. You snapped out of your sleepy state at the sound of your name.

“Wha-” You blinked, looking around at all of the eyes on you. You tried to remember what the others were talking about... oh. Strategies. Right. "I just think we... we need to..." You looked at thr whiteboard, but you couldn't focus. You swayed to one side, blinking hard. The world really seemed like it was tilting to one side... "Woah, sorry-" you tried to say.

"Y/N?" You saw Kuroo reach out towards you as you slowly lowered down into a fetal position, resting your head on your knees. "Hey, Y/N? You okay?" You swallowed.

"Yea- yeah. Just... give me a second," you breathed. You felt Kuroo kneel down next to you, and you were right; someone's arm wrapped around you for support, and you knew it was Kuroo's. You knew you were safe as you lost consciousness, falling further into his arms.

...

You awoke, and the first thought was how bright the gym lights were... they weren't this bright before...

"Oh- Y/N! You're awake," Kuroo said, rushing over to you. He put the back of his hand on your forehead. "You're still burning..." he said with a frown.

"Sorry," you muttered. "I don't know, I've been sick all day and I guess I couldn’t handle it..."

"Why didn't you tell me you weren’t feeling well?" he asked, concern clear in his voice. You smiled softly.

"It wasn't important... besides I have manager duties to take care of," you said with a sigh.

"Not if I can help it." He picked you up in one swift motion bridal-style, smirking as you struggled to get down. "I'm not letting you down; I'm taking you home and getting you some proper medicine for this fever of yours. Health is more important than volleyball." You huffed and flopped into his arms in defeat.

"Fine." You leaned closer into Kuroo's chest, and he smiled, satisfied with your surrender.

"That's my girl." You rolled your eyes, but you couldn't help but smile.

A/N: THESE WERE NOT THE BEST- I ADMIT BDHDDJNDJEW

hopefully these weren't too bad though-

haikyuu taglist: (send an ask to get added hehe) @floralkawa <3

MWAHH THANK YOU FOR READING!!

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

COSMIC - S1:E4; Chapter Four, The Body- [Pt. 1]

A Will Byers x Male!Reader Series

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘺 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘌𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘠/𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘺 𝘰𝘥𝘥 𝘴𝘺𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘴 ���𝘧 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘨𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘧.

|| 𝟑𝐫𝐝 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐏𝐎𝐕 ||

Mike flips through the drawings Will had given him what seems like ages ago. He found himself unable to tear himself away from one of Will's favorites. It was the party. But they were their dungeons and dragons selves. Will the Wise stood proudly amongst his fellow party members. Together they stood triumphantly.

Mike was pulled from his thoughts at the sound of the feedback from the supercomm.

"Can you please stop that?" He asked exasperatedly at El, who sat in her fort fiddling with the device.

El looks to him, before returning to the com, the crackling of the feedback whining throughout the room.

"Are you deaf?" Mike snapped.

El was determined to keep tinkering away.

"I thought we were friends, you know? But friends tell each other the truth. And they definitely don't lie to each other. You made me think Will was okay, that he was still out there, but he wasn't. He wasn't! Maybe you thought you were helping, but you weren't. You hurt me. Do you understand? What you did sucks. Lucas was right about you. All along."

El's eyes bore into Mike's as he yelled at her. However, she sat there, unfazed before turning back to the com. With the final crackle, the distinctive voice of Will Byers rang over the comm and across the room. He was singing.

"So come on and let me know, Should I stay or should I go?"

Mike slowly looked up from the picture and towards El, goosebumps littering his skin. She was looking to him expectantly, blood dripping from her nose.

"Should I stay or should I go now? Should I stay or should I go now?"

Mike jumped off the couch and ran to El, who slowly handed him the walkie. Mike stared at it in disbelief as he listened to the unmistakable voice of his best friend.

"If I go there will be trouble. If I stay it will be double."

Mike gladly took the comm. His finger pressed firmly on the speaker button he practically yelled into the speaker. "Will, is that you? It's Mike! Do you copy? Over."

El stares at the boy, wishing she could help him more. Alas, she knew Will would be unable to hear him. The room was met with the dreaded static of the other line as Mike waited for a response that would never come.

He tried again.

"Will, are you there? Will!"

Mike saw the look on El's face, knowing she had done her best. He dropped his hand to his side.

"Was that...? Was it...?"

El gave Mike a bittersweet smile.

"Will."

There was a soft knock at the door.

"Michael? Hi, honey. How are you feeling?"

Karen poked her head into her son's room.

Mike stuttered as he lay under the blankets, and she crosses the room to sit at his bedside.

"I, uh... I don't think I can go to school today."

"Oh, that's fine, sweetie. I need to drop off Nance, then I'm gonna check in on Barb's parents. Why don't you grab a book or something and come with me? We can stop by the video store on the way back, pick out whatever you want. Even R-rated."

Karen offered, a small smile on her face.

"I think I just want to stay home today. I mean, if that's okay?" He asked, tentatively.

"Well, are you sure you're gonna be all right here by yourself?"

"I think so."

"Okay." She sighed, patting her son on the arm comfortingly."If you need anything, call Dad at work."

Mike softly nodded his head.

"Okay."

"Okay."

Karen leaned forward and kissed her son on the forehead before stepping out.

"Bye." Mike softly called after his mom.

She turned to him as she closed the door, a smile on her face.

"Bye, sweetie."

As soon as his mother closed the door, Mike jumped up from under the covers, fully clothed. He reached for the supercomm on his bedside table and extended the antenna.

"Lucas, do you copy? Lucas, come on, I know you're there! This is urgent. I'm serious."

Mike stood up from his bed, continuing into the walkie. "I'm not gonna stop until you answer. Lucas. Lucas!" He took a deep breath. "Lucas, Lucas, Lucas, Lucas, Lucas... Lucas, Lucas, Lucas, Lucas, Lucas, Lucas, Lucas--"

"Go away, Mike." Lucas had sat up in bed, frustrated as he extended the antenna.

"I'm not in the mood, all right? Over and out."

Before Lucas could close the supercomm antenna, Mike's voice had stopped him.

"No, not 'out.' I'm not messing around, okay? This is about Will. Over."

Lucas paused, not letting himself get his hopes up.

"What about Will? You mean about his funeral? Over."

"No, not his funeral. Screw his funeral!" Mike spits.

"What?"

"Just get over here stat. And bring Dustin and Y/n. Over and out."

|| 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕 ||

I blink away the tears as I stare at the same wall my eyes haven't left since I woke up. Lucas saw me and Dustin off and made sure we got home. My whole body has been numb since last night. The image of Will laying lifeless on the gurney hasn't left my mind.

I never would have believed it but, I wanted more than anything to be at school rather than staying home today. Mom thinks it was the stress and trauma that made me sick today, but whatever it really is, she insisted I stay home.

I locked myself in my room as soon as I got home, Dustin had filled Mom in on what happened. She had woken me up this morning, apologizing and asking if there was anything she could do to help. But she couldn't do anything. Nobody could. Will, my best friend, is gone.

Apparently, I was burning up because Mom began freaking out when she felt my forehead. I didn't feel any different apart from grief and heartbreak.

"Alright, Pumpkin, I called the school and they know you're staying home. I wish I could stay with you but I can't miss another work day. I'll be back at the regular time, and you know what number to call if you need anything, right?"

I felt her hand rub my shoulder as I never broke eye contact with the wall. Tears were falling freely down my face, through my scalp and into my ears ears pillow. My left arm had become numb from laying on my left side.

"Mm." I couldn't even bring myself to speak.

"Bye, sweetie."

I heard her footsteps recede followed by the closing of my bedroom door.

I closed my eyes, trying to sleep. But every time my eyes closed I saw it all over again. Will being pulled from the water. I tried to push through it. But my mind began creating scenarios of how he fell in. Countless images of him stumbling over the cliff. Or even the horrific thought of his already lifeless body being tossed into the water by a faceless figure that I only assumed to be his murderer.

Countless, horrendous scenarios playing like a slideshow in my head and the second wave of pain washed over me as it felt as if someone reached into my chest and squeezed my heart into dust, while another hand punched my gut.

I rolled over on my back, I felt the anguish surging through my veins and all the way to my fingertips as a wave of anger erupted from deep within. I heard items fall to the floor somewhere around my room and I figured that in my fit I had slammed my fists too hard against my bed, shaking the room somehow.

I quickly dismissed the odd thought and the second wave of hot tears streamed down my cheeks.

My palms began to sweat as I felt my body temperature rise out of what I could only assume was anger. That must be where my fever had come from but I still didn't understand how that all happened.

I was angry my best friend was taken away from me. I loved him, and he was the closest friend I have ever had. And now he's gone. I still refused to believe it yet my mind was cruel enough to replay the worst moment of my life everytime I close my eyes.

Sniffling, I wiped my eyes and sat up. I couldn't stand being alone with anything else to think about and I looked around my room for anything to take my mind off everything that's been happening.

My eyes scanned the room and then they fell on the all too familiar mix tape Will had lent to me just months ago. A bittersweet smile had made its way onto my face and I got out of bed. I put the tape in the boombox and pressed play.

"Should I stay or should I go?"

I sat listening to Will's favorite song and I felt a different wave of emotion wash over me for once.

I think it was a stubborn hope.

[merry-kuroo]

My Top 10 Anime of 2021 (Non-Seasonal)

This year has been amazing and beyond stressful. While making this list, I could pinpoint what animes I was watching while I was in graduate school in Wales, and what I was watching when I came back to the U.S. to work on my dissertation. I actually ended up rewatching animes or watching older ones because it gave me comfort.

Despite how tumultuous this year has been, I was still able to watch some incredible shows and it really helped me get through lockdown when I was alone in my flat and uncertain about the future.

So, I hope you can find something great to watch next year too 🥰

1.) Fate/Zero

No cap 🧢🔥

This is the best anime I’ve ever seen in my life.

Like I started having anime burnout after finishing Fate/Zero because I knew deep in my heart that no other anime would ever compare to this one.

2.) Gakuen Babysitters

This was the first anime I watched in 2021. I wanted to watch something happy and light after being put in lockdown again.

This is honestly the cutest anime I’ve ever seen in my life. Like...I had a warm fuzzy feeling after watching every episode. This show definitely needed a season 2.

And hell I’ll admit it. I had baby fever after watching this 😂😂 That shows how much the show got to me.

3.) World Trigger

This anime has such a unique concept and I can’t believe it’s not talked about more! I’ve had World Trigger on my watch list since I was in high school, and I finally decided to watch it back in August. I quickly fell in love with this show, and I’m so glad that it got a second and third season! I will definitely be reading the manga from now on.

Please go watch World Trigger! It has amazing characters and awesome openings 😉 You’ll want to binge watch it too!

4.) Bungou Stray Dogs

I rewatched Bungou Stray Dogs because I was writing a fanfic for it and I needed to reacquaint myself with the characters and the setting. I totally forgot how much I enjoyed this show, and I’m very excited for season four! 🥰

5.) Kimi ni Todoke

This was another anime I wanted to rewatch! I never finished season 2 because I think I was irritated with Sawako and Kazehaya lmao. I always felt bad for never finishing it, so I decided this year it was time to watch it again.

Kimi ni Todoke is one of my favorite romance animes, and I just love seeing the natural progression of Sawako and Kazehaya’s relationship. They’re like the sweetest couple, and watching them slowly fall for each other made me very happy ❤❤

6.) Bleach

BLEACH TYBW LET’S GOOOOOOO! 🔥🔥🔥

I couldn’t believe that Bleach was getting its final arc animated! So, of course I had to rewatch the anime in order to reacquaint myself with the series. It really hit me with nostalgia. Like I wish I could go back to those days where I watched Bleach on Toonami every Saturday night (2009 Toonami hit different 🥺).

Rewatching Bleach has given me a new appreciation for the show, and the characters. When I was younger, I only cared about Ichigo and a couple of other characters. Now, I’m really invested in the other characters too (like the Captains). I hope I can finish my rewatch before October!

7.) Monster

Okay, so I haven’t finished Monster yet (no spoilers!) I hope to finish it in January or February!

This is such a good thriller/psychological anime! The premise intrigued me and each episode left me wondering what was going to happen next. Dr. Tenma is a cool guy, but I hate that he’s burdened with this.

I'm really worried about him tbh 👀

8.) Given Movie

The Given Movie was great and it gave me a new insight into the character’s relationships with one another. It hurt seeing the toxic relationship Akihiko and Ugetsu had, but I couldn’t help bawling like a baby when they broke up for good.

“Bye Bye, Akihiko” just hit different, ya know? 😭💔💔💔💔

Overall, I really enjoyed it and the new song Mafuyu performed was amazing. I love that the OVA gave us a acappella version of it too.

I’m definitely going to read the manga next year!

9.) One Piece

I was on a “Wow, One Piece is too long and it’s not even that good!” tour for three years, then all of a sudden nostalgia hit and I was like “Well, maybe I can at least finish the Alabasta Arc!”.

So, yeah, I don’t know what I was smoking back in 2018...but One Piece is pretty good. I finished the Alabasta Arc, and I really appreciated the character designs...and the characters themselves. They were all really unique. Some new mysteries were brought up after the Alabasta Arc, and I’m very interested in Nico Robin, so I guess I’ll have to keep watching now 😅

I’m going to start watching the Sky Island Arc next year, and we’ll go from there.

10.) Boruto: Naruto Next Generation

I have a love/hate relationship with Boruto, but the Kawaki Arc was really good. The animation and fights were amazing. It was just nice to see some manga canon content 🥲

[yzkhr]

Love Language miniseries for Shinran!

I dedicate this corny and cringe worthy miniseries to @meitanteisachi for giving me inspiration through her gifset and her wonderful fanfictions.

-

Acts of Service- a language that can best be described as doing something for your partner that you know they would like, such as filling up their gas, watering their plants, or cooking them a meal.

"Not sick, huh?"

Shinichi glared as Ran leaned back from the table, unamused. He was working on a difficult case in their—now only his— mansion, when she showed up unannounced after he forgot to attend school. He was wearing his school uniform but lost sense of time being too absorbed at the new case Inspector Megure gave him.

"I told you I'm fine." he avoided her scrutinizing gaze, being stubborn. Ran wouldn't have any of it however, bringing her left hand to her waist like a stressed mother.

"Fine? You're burning hot and your face is even redder than a traffic light!" she argued and his face produced an even darker shade, acknowledged.

He wanted to protest and retaliate how can it not be when she literally put her face in front of his without any sort of warning, brushing his unruly bangs upwards with her soft hand and letting their foreheads touch as he froze while she remained unbothered.

The detective restrained himself however, not wanting any further embarrassment to occur.

He heard a sigh from Ran, forcing him to turn around. She was now arranging the stack of messy papers and documents, bringing them to side.

"Oi, what are you doing?" he frowned as he stood up from the swivel chair and held Ran's hand to stop her. It didn't go unnoticed how Shinichi flinched at the coldness of her skin.

Ran eyed their physical contact before giving him a stern gaze.

"I'm fixing all of these so you can rest. You won't be touching files until your fever's gone." she effortlessly shook his hand away, continuing.

"Ran, I told you I'm fine. I have to end this case cause if I don't---"

"Then you can let Megure-keibu and the other officers to handle it until you're well again." she was consistent at putting all the paperwork aside, not even sparing a glance.

"I told you I'm fine didn't I? It's just a fever."

Finally done with her task, Ran faced him with an expression that resembled his mother way too much for his own comfort.

"You're not fine. You have a horrible fever and along with it is a terrible headache. You didn't actually expect to read all of these with those blurry eyes of yours, did you?"

She squinted, gesturing at more than fifty papers on the side. He opened his mouth to deny her claims but retreated seeing her eyes squint even more, as if challenging him to lie. Ran was right. He'd been trying to ignore the throbbing of his head and the haze in his vision while reading through the entire case.

He sighed as his misty eyes finally having the time to observe her. She was still wearing their uniform, which means she went here as soon as classes were over. He suddenly remembered an important thing.

"Wait, don't you have an upcoming Karate competition? You have training everyday after school right?" he smirked internally, finding out a plot hole.

But instead of seeing a look of panic and rushing out the of the doorway like Shinichi expected her to do, Ran simply grabbed his hand towards the door making his cheeks turn red out of surprise and something he would never dare name of.

"I'll just skip it for today. Besides, I have something more important to take care of." she squeezed his warm hand, hinting what—or who— important thing she meant.

Blushing even more at the implication certainly did not make his illness any better.

-

After a few stumble here and there, they finally got to the bedroom in one piece. Minutes seemed like an eternity, with his headache feeling like he was being hammered. He was freezing and sweating at the same time not knowing if he should undress or add more layers. It was good thing that Ran immediately slumped Shinichi down the bed, and started removing his blazer.

Wait, what?

"Umm..." he spoke weakly, but still complying and accepting her help. He thought that she was done but she suddenly kneeled in front of him and leaned in, making Shinichi hyper aware of everything around him. Her hands went straight to his uniform which he did not predict. She was now untying his neck tie, making their faces inches apart. She was so close that he could feel her breathing at the open part of his longsleeve. Despite his mind telling him not to, Shinichi's eyes went directly to her face, which seemed too focused at her task, with her slightly furrowed eyebrows and violet orbs concentrated at undoing the knots. He would never admit it, but Ran looked too innocent and pure that it was killing him.

It didn't help that her scent was literally intoxicating him. A combination of honey and lemon, Shinichi noticed. Flustered and a bit shameful, he looked up,having butterflies in his stomach with his childhood friends' soft and nimble hands slowly removing the fabric from his neck.

He jolted awake when she begins unbuttoning his polo however. On instinct, Shinichi took a hold of her hands before they can go further. Shocked and confused, Ran looked up.

"I," he breathed heavily. "I think I can do this myself, Ran."

As if broken by a spell. Her face instantaneously turned crimson red at the realization that Shinichi might have thought she was the one with the fever. She stood up straight away, turning around and making a beeline to the door. She had been uptight all day that he was a bit glad the usual Ran came back.

He wanted to laugh at her reaction but was too tired to do so. Even slightly moving drained him, but it didn't mean he wasn't capable of undressing himself.

"I-I'm sorry! I got lost in my thoughts! I'm going downstairs!" she squeaked and left in an instant, closing the door with a loud thud.

Now alone, Shinichi struggled to move his shaking hands to undo the buttons. After a few more attempts, he was finally able to fully strip and drag himself to the closet. Nauseated and feeling like the world weighed on his shoulders, he randomly put on a white pajama and went straight to his bed, curling a bit like a kitten. His eyelids getting heavier and heavier, Shinichi closed his eyes, immediately falling asleep.

-

"Shinichi? Shinichi?"

Hearing a faint voice from behind, Shinichi turned around languidly and opened his eyes, meeting a concerned Ran.

"Hmm?" he hummed, still sleep deprived.

She brought up a steaming hot bowl of food, smiling.

"I cooked you chicken soup. Sit up, you have to eat." she ordered gently.

Despite feeling pain all over his body, he obeyed, knowing that he needed energy. Sitting up groggily, Shinichi faced his caretaker.

Ran sat beside the empty space of his bed, chicken soup in her hand. He frowned at the sight of the food.

"You still cooked my favorite style? Even though you know I won't be able to taste it anyway?" she shrugged as a response, bringing a spoonful near her and blowing weakly.

"Well, you might not be able to taste it but your stomach will surely enjoy it, so why not?" something in his chest swelled after hearing such words. Still, he kept it to himself.

After a few more blows, Ran brought the spoon near his mouth, gesturing for him to eat it. Face flushing and coughing slightly, Shinichi took a bite at the soup. Albeit tasteless, he couldn't help but smile mildy, knowing the effort put in.

Ran laughed a little looking at him as well, but said nothing and continued feeding him.

After five minutes or so, the bowl was finally empty. She told him that he could have just ate half but Shinichi argued that he was hungry(he really wasn't but he would never stand having a food Ran cooked for him go to waste but he'll die before she even find that out).

He was now inclining back to the comfort of his own bed when Ran spoke.

"Seriously, don't overwork yourself Shinichi." she berated, masking her worry with exaggeration as she arranged the plate and the soup, slowly making her way outside.

"I wasn't, I just got a little busy that's all." her saw how Ran rolled her eyes at his excuse as she replied.

"A little busy? You rarely get sick. I was so close to believing you were invincible to fevers." he scoffed at her remark, being defeated with yet another fact. Maybe the pain he felt was a lot worse than he expected.

"Look, I'm glad that you're trying to save as many people as you can but you also can't forget about yourself." he winced at the obvious disappointment and seriousness of her scolding. Instead of meeting her gaze that bore holes into him, he averted his stare into the lamp.

"I'm fine."

"No you're not. And besides, if you don't take care of you, think of all the people that will need you but won't have you." he stayed quiet, getting her point. Shinichi knew it was irrational being stubborn and pushing himself to the limits but he just couldn't help it. He may be a cocky bastard as a lot of people call him, but he wasn't someone that can stand not being able to help when he clearly can.

He sighed, giving in.

"Fine. I promise I'll take better care of myself." his answer seemed to satisfy Ran as she smiled contently.

"Good." as he heard the creaking of the doorframe, Shinichi instinctively flipped his head towards the sound.

"You're leaving?"

He didn't know why, but an infallible amount of upset coursed through him at the thought of Ran leaving. She paused by the door and looked back, inclining her head to the side.

"You want me to stay?" she teased in a light-hearted manner, making Shinichi's cheeks flushed.

"N-no, just wondering.." he played it cool by keeping his voice even, now being reminded how pathetic he must have sounded like asking her if she was leaving.

"I'll stay. After all, someone has to make sure a certain mystery otaku doesn't go back to the library just because he's feeling a little better."

He glared at her jesting and turned to the other side, lying down.

"Barou, it's not like I can do that with my entire body in pain."

Ran laughed, knowing she annoyed him enough.

"Then that's more reason for me to stay right?"

Before he can even think of a reply, she already closed the door and all Shinichi could hear were the sound of her shoes walking downstairs and the erratical beating of his heart he hoped was a side effect of the fever and not..... entirely something else.

[acid-hydrangea]

“I”

There was a boy named Sig, who had many, many questions.

*Note: Sig uses he and they pronouns in this work interchangeably.

Sig awoke to the gentle, blue hues of his room flooding his vision. The quiet morning air tinged with the sounds of birdsong and the beaming of harsh sunlight. It was 5:32 AM. The Fever Bird month had just begun.

They hoisted themself out of bed and opened the window, breathing in the crisp morning air soaking in his surroundings, he’d neglected the rough, coarse sensation on--in--through? his shoulder... He moved to the other end of his room, and upon checking the mirror they discovered that the ‘totally not worrisome’ crimson growths had spread further, practically covering his whole left shoulder, almost touching his neck. The natural ringing in his ears felt louder than usual. He stared for a moment at his reflection, his thoughts clouding his mind like an intense thunderstorm. Eventually, he broke eye contact with his reflection and got dressed for the day. 

He donned his typical shirt with the rest of his usual clothes, he went on his way, considering wearing their turtleneck sweater more often, despite the spring-summer heat.

--

    Sig’s gaze was transfixed on the clouds moving across the clear sky, like a herd of lazy sheep. Their thoughts drifted in all sorts of directions, but he wasn’t able to attach any words to anything he felt... Not even one, this time. He looked down at his desk, Accord’s voice and the sound of chalk against the blackboard fading into white noise as they scratched one of his left claws upon the desk’s surface. 

...What… was happening to him? Why didn’t anyone ever bother to tell him? He’s not a little kid, he could handle whatever they told him. Did he do something that scared everyone? Ever since he transferred to this class, his arm and eye suddenly changed. People gave him weird stares, and tried to avoid him. When his caretaker Akuma found out, he tried every single spell and magic seal he could, to reverse the process. None of it worked. Every now and then, he tried again, rinse and repeat every so often. Fast-forward to the 'incident' nobody wants to talk about, involving bookworm. Fast-forward again to that blonde witch's potion... Ever since that, no... Even before that, he swore he was--

    His thoughts were disrupted by the sound of the school bell signalling the end to another day.

“... And that wraps up our lessons for the day! Be sure to review your notes, and do your homework, everyone. I will be here for the next hour if you need help.” 

He just sat there, trying to think through his memories, to make sense of it. Most students dispersed, the sound of students’ papers rustling and bags being picked up off the floor slowly replaced the white noise in his head. Klug and Raffina probably left separately, Amitie rushed to Accord’s side for help with the homework, and Lidelle was off to do her observations on the moonsunflower this week. 

Sig remained in his seat, having wordless conversations with his little bug friends, instead. Asking them about their days, as he always did, mostly oblivious to the events of his own. He’d have been last to leave if Amitie and Lidelle weren’t there. He did things at his own pace typically, leaving whenever his bug friend did.

...Today was different, though. Something felt different. A gnawing feeling that used to feel trivial had grown over time. The deformations from his left arm had been spreading constantly, no amount of Akuma’s rites, treatments, or spells slowed it down. It’d been a year since that incident happened, and a few months later, something else... Two incidents, and no answers. All he had were questions that were shunned away with words like “It’s nothing for you to worry about,” or “We’ll take care of it, so don’t ask too many questions.” All he could do was believe them, because they had his best interest in mind, right...?

Akuma never provided actual answers when asked, only empty words of... What felt like false reassurance,“Don’t worry your young head about it”, while chanting mysterious incantations with paper, “We’ll heal you someday”, casting archaic-sounding spells, handing him multiple charms,

“Don’t think about what scares you, only think happy thoughts, kuma.”

Scary? Was something wrong with him in the first place? Something that felt like a part of him, ingrained in him since birth, treated as a curse and a disease once his hand and eye turned that shade of crimson? It got him in trouble so many times, in ways he had no control, something he was forced to be at the center of. Fate was drawing chaos towards him, like a violent vortex. Was he never supposed to think about ‘himself’ ever again? What could he even do about the world revolving so sporadically around him? 

The ladybug flew away, right out the window, to greener pastures.

--

    Eventually, Amitie left the classroom. She waved goodbye to Sig, seemingly getting the sense that he wasn’t in the mood to walk home together that day. She flashed him a worried smile, and then disappeared out the door. 

He wasn't feeling up to talking to his teacher in the first place, but... The nagging feeling wouldn't go away until he did. Sig stood up from the desk and walked over to Ms. Accord’s desk.

"Good afternoon, Sig. Do you need any help with what we learned today?"

"Something... else."

“Oh? What is it, is something troubling you?”

He... Didn't know how to ask, what to ask...? He was prepared to just be told nothing, anyways, but... They really wanted to know. They were feeling... Confusion, anger? Fear, sadness... Any mental script they had in mind was gone. He didn’t realize just how intense his fear of the unknown was.

"I.... Is there something wrong with me? Am I... going to become something bad... Do you know what's... Happening to me ...?"

They didn't realize how scared their expression was, like a deer in headlights.

"Sig...? Dear, are you alright? Did something happen?"

He was trying not to cry when he ended up thinking about everything he was told not to, gripping his arms tightly. Sometimes, it felt harder to breathe, or think... Was it just him, or something else? His vision grew blurry from held-back tears...

--

Sitting in a chair Ms. Accord pulled up, he didn't have it in him to look her in the eye. Everything was silent for some time...

"I'm... scared. You, Akuma, everyone... You all know things about me..."

He tried to make eye contact with her, if barely, only able to meet eyes with her puppet.

"Why don't you want me to know? Do I need to be fixed...? Is something bad going to happen with me...? To people around me? I've always... been like this... So I don't know. Everyone acts like it's forbidden stuff..." 

Digging his fingers into his arm, he was shaking...

"I don't want to live like this. Knowing nothing about myself... It's so scary. No one likes scary people. No one wants to be around someone who hurts people. It makes me feel like I'm going to ruin everything, someday..."

"... I told you, you all shouldn't keep secrets from him, nya. Lookit what it did to the poor kid...", Popoi whispered to her. What could she say? The cat was right...

"Sig... I'm sorry, I truly am. It was never my intention to cause you such anxiety... Please, try to look at me..."

"I... can't..." 

"Please know, then... You're not in any danger, and your friends aren't, either. No one's going to get hurt just because you're here... You said you've always been like this, right?"

Sig nodded, wiping his eyes on his sleeve.

"You've always been a prized pupil and friend to many, Sig... That won't change just because of your arm or eye... Those make you who you are, and you're a wonderful person."

"... Thanks... teacher..."

Taking some deep breaths, he sighed... He still had more questions. Many more.

"... I want to know... Something else..."

"You have my word that I'll answer to the best of my abilities, from now on."

Having wiped his tears away, putting faith in her words, 

"... What made me like this? Does it have something to do with what happened a year ago...? I know... you know something... You were helping... him... Lemres."

Silence permeated through the room.

"Akuma informed me, when you enrolled, that your sudden changes were nothing to worry about. As far as my knowledge goes, there's nothing abnormal about your condition that would warrant any worry. As for the incident..."

"... Teacher?" 

"I promise I'm being honest, my knowledge of what happened... Is very little. I only know what it is that Lemres told me about those 3... objects."

"Which... is...?"

" Those... The items, they are connected to a certain item of ill omens... I do not know anything more. He kept such details to himself..."

... Did she think he forgot about the bookworm's book? He wasn't clueless, he knew there was something weird about it. Bookworm always makes the effort to tuck it away specifically when he approaches. He almost seemed to prioritize making sure he never even so much as touched it. He got annoyed when others did, and downright terrified when he did. He wasn't fooling anyone, Sig simply didn't pay the thought any mind until now.

Having almost-fully regained his composure, he stood up, 

"Teacher... If that really is all you know... I'm going to find out more, by myself.", making himself clear, he was finally able to project his voice a bit louder.

"... I'm  sorry, that truly is the extent of my knowledge, but... Sometime soon, I could invite him over, and he could tell you what he knows...?"

... It was reassuring to see she actually parted with details. All it took was... Crying. Stressful. He just wanted to get out. He especially wanted nothing to do with that candy weirdo.

"I...don’t want that. See you next week, teach."

With that, he left. 

Tomorrow, it would be time to visit the bookworm Klug, instead.

Ms. Accord, too, had her own plans for the weekend.

--

End Notes: surprise surprise i’m gonna be uploading fics up here from now on. this fic’s been in the works for awhile and it still is- but i’m really excited to show everyone it! if it’s possible, i’d like to affix art to every single chapter going forward. thank you for reading, and feel free to let me know what you think via. replies or asks. reblogs and likes are especially helpful for getting the word out! catch me on my main blog at @marxsoul, or my twitter at @marxsoui, and see you when the next chapter’s out~

[deansmom]

Anxiety about covid is so weird because I have generalized anxiety disorder and all of my anxiety is based in control (losing it, not having it, etc) right? So it’s mostly completely irrational things that control my anxiety and I’ve always had a germ thing. Always, since I can remember, I’ve always been Wary about germs and cleanliness of things in general.

You know why anxiety about covid is weird? Because it’s not so irrational that I can outright dismiss it or talk myself out of it. Like yeah, I’ve been working since June in a state and county that doesn’t require masks and schools are open for face to face and cases are obscene - I am arguably the biggest vector/possibility of bringing it home. [knock on wood] if I’ve had it, it wasn’t bad enough for me or my doctor to feel like I should get tested.

But my brother tested positive officially on Sunday (I was negative), my mom got tested Monday and yesterday spent most of her day in bed feeling not sick but weird (y’all I’m hanging on by a thread over here lmao) - I had to basically knock myself out with a Xanax and too much melatonin to fall asleep at all last night because all my brain could think was we have the air on, Josh doesn’t wear a mask in his room, nobody’s taking the quarantine procedures as seriously as I am and I just. There’s a part of my brain that knows I’m being irrational if only because omicron is so contagious, I’ve probably already been exposed and should get tested again (my mom ordered at home tests that should be here tomorrow).

But just existing in the world feels like being gaslit. It’s insane to me that someone in my house who I share a bathroom with (not currently, obviously) has covid and I have to go to work?!?! And continue to potentially expose my coworkers and customers and I just - if I gave somebody covid even unknowingly and they died? I couldn’t live with myself. That’s irrational but also like, the only way my body is allowing me to express that emotion.

Oh and a coworker is out probably with covid (sick either way, she had a 101 fever Monday night) and there’s only four of us including her and my store manager has kids who can’t be vaccinated and I’m fucking losing my mind. This is to say NOTHING about my 91 year old grandfather who lives with us (!!!) and my immunocompromised, diabetic, asthmatic mother who I can’t even imagine losing without having a full on breakdown. And I’m just supposed to go to work and be fine even though our truck didn’t come today AGAIN which means everyone in the warehouse is STILL out with covid and I just. My autistic anxiety ridden ass was not designed for this much stress my dudes. I’m literally one wrong word away from just needing to be sedated & put in a coma or something lmao

Please wear your masks, please stay home if you feel weird, please get your booster and your vaccine if you haven’t already.

[c-c-cherry]

Terribly sorry for the wait, but I’m back and I’ve got some Fugo for y’all!! 

To be honest, its not that I don’t like Fugo, I just find his character really hard to nail down and write about which is why I haven’t written much about him in general. @jjadegreen​ helped SOOO much with this because I was so blocked when it came to writing this past week, so thank you!!

//content warning for whump-related shit (sickness, major injury, etc..)

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Pain Tolerance

-Out of everyone in the group, he surprisingly has one of the LOWEST pain tolerances Narancia comes in first though

-We all know he’s riled up pretty easily, so it's his nature to panic over minor injuries

-If there’s blood? You bet he will freak out

-It’s hard to take advantage of him because of how on-guard he is, but if he’s ever kidnapped or drugged, he’s absolutely the kind of person to kick into fight mode more than flight mode

-He tries his best to keep his composure, but if he’s backed into a painful corner and there’s nothing he can do about it, he will be loud

-Unlike Giorno or Mista, who tend to bite their tongue and shut themselves down during intense pain, you’ll know when Fugo is really hurt because of the way he carries himself

-He’s always really ashamed of the way he acts when he’s in pain because he’s supposed to be in Passione and shouldn’t be getting so worked up over minor wounds (or even major wounds at this point) :(

-Bruno always makes sure to remind his team that getting hurt does NOT equal being weak, but there’s always the lingering feeling in the back of his mind that he’s useless and nothing but a burden for the team for reacting the way he does

Injury

-He tries not to get injured, but when he does, it's not good :/

-He’s had his fair share dealing with inner pain or broken bones, but if its bleeding or an actual open wound, that’s when he starts to really freak out

-I headcanon that he has a fixation on being clean so to speak. He doesn’t have a problem if someone else is getting hurt, but he gets this shitshitshitshit reaction the moment he realizes that he has an open wound

-His mind can’t stop thinking that it’ll get dirty and infected

-It leads to him usually overcleaning them if he’s left to his own devices, which ultimately puts him in more pain and more strain on the injury

-If ANYONE tries to help him, he’s all “no no no, I can handle this myself, stop. Stop stop don’t get closer, I'll handle it on my own.”

-During times where he’s hurt pretty bad, he can’t “suck it up” as much as he wants to. He’s panicking because he’s terrified of someone being there and close to him when he’s at his weakest and most vulnerable

-He has no idea where his emotions will go and even more terrified of losing control of his stand

-He doesn’t like being touched without warning and it's even more amplified when he gets hurt

-If it’s “minor” enough to get past the gang without them knowing, he’s tense even after he tries to deal with it himself. No matter what, it just doesn’t feel clean or healed enough (and sometimes it really isn’t)

-Narancia’s usually the first one to notice and ask why he’s so pale, or gripping his side so much, etc,,

-People try to keep things on the downlow when Fugo gets hurt because they don’t want to wind him up, so it usually ends with one of them telling Bruno, who in turn gets Giorno if he needs to

-Bruno’s always been one to calm him down and he’s usually the one to patch him up (or hold him and keep him grounded so Giorno can heal if the injury is bad enough) :’)

-Even so, he’ll try to deny painkillers and insist on changing his own bandages regardless

Sickness

-On the contrary, he actually doesn’t mind being sick when the time comes

-No one likes having a fever, but he can take it. Throwing up or being so tired that you can’t move is an awful feeling, but he can take it

-Between vigorously studying how the human body battles illness thanks to purple haze, he knows the ins and outs of his own body and also knows that getting sick is just a normal human response to bad bacteria

-That, and years of Bruno’s constant reassurance and parental charm have rubbed off on him a bit :)

-Narancia freaks out a bit anytime anyone is ill because of the fate of his mother, which is why Fugo feels a bit of responsibility to act calm and collected when he’s sick so Nara doesn’t feel as intimidated or threatened by it :)

-When he isn’t feeling well, he tells someone. He knows that taking a break is important and when he’s sick, he already knows from the start that he can’t get the work done properly even if he tried

-He doesn’t mind people taking care of him in that sense, but if you try to coddle him, he will choke you

Emotional Stress

-Its not uncommon for anyone in the Bucci gang to suffer from nightmares once in while, but something crucial to know for Fugo is that only Bruno can wake him up

-Out of everyone in the gang, the two of them have the strongest bond (they were the first two in the bucci gang after all) and sometimes when things are too much, Bruno is the only one who’s able to ground him again

-If anyone else tries to shake him awake or try to get him out of his sleep, he’ll panic. He gets scared. When he’s scared, people get hurt

-Sometimes, he has no idea who’s in front of him and won’t hesitate to go for the kill if he thinks he’s in immediate danger

-Narancia tried to wake him up one night and he panicked, stabbing him in the stomach. Narancia could care less because he has another cool scar, but Fugo felt awful about it and wouldn’t sleep or see anyone for days

.

.

-Despite being a bit unstable himself, Fugo has a vast amount of knowledge and knows himself and his needs like the back of his hand

-If he doesn't like something or doesn’t feel comfortable, he’s learned to speak up about it as much as possible

-They all have an unspoken rule with him to ask before they touch him in any scenario. He doesn’t mind physical affection, but permission please :)))

-Also. He is the KING of stress toys. Don’t even tell me that he doesn’t have a giant box of things to do with his hands when he gets overwhelmed (yes Bruno bought them all for him)

-Also weighted blankets? Perfect for someone who wants warmth but sometimes not touch

-I headcanon that in my Storm-verse, he lends things out to Giorno all the time when he needs them

-He’s also the one who explains a lot of terms to Giorno (flashbacks, panic attacks vs anxiety attacks, dissociation, etc,,) and he and Giorno end up bonding a lot because of it

-Fugo isn’t exactly ready to fully confront his past and his traumas, but he knows that he’ll have people there for him when he’s ready :)

And some sad shit to leave y’all with, of course >:(

-Fugo is scared of people, despite his demeanor. People have science, but are overall unpredictable

-He feels the need to always prepare for the worst because people are the one thing he can’t analytically predict

-He trusts Bruno with his life, but sometimes, even he doubts that

-He’s terrified of death, which is partly why he hates getting injured so much. He knows where untreated wounds will get you and it isn’t pretty

-Sometimes the tiniest injuries can ruin you forever. He’s terrified of that happening to him and he takes advantage of that fear because it's something he can control the probability of

-His biggest fear doesn’t have to do with the unknown, though; he’s terrified of being a failure

-His entire life was planned out for him: the best academic scores, the best schooling...now look at him. A gangster. A criminal.

-He hates his past self as much as he hates his current self. The constant pressure in the back of his mind of being so hungry for praise still resides in him today and he hates it

-He knows he can’t disappoint Bruno, and would have to do a lot to disappoint the others but it still never left his head

-He knows he’s with people who love him now, and would treat him right regardless, but part of him doubts that

-How could they love him? What had he done to be worthy of something like that? Half the time, he’s so angry he can barely speak

-And beyond all that, beyond his fear of death, and people, and failure?

-He’s just scared of being alone

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Jade gave me the saddest shit to work with after that last line that involved canon character deaths BUT MY TINY LITTLE HEART CANNOT HANDLE THAT TODAY so I leave you on merely a bittersweet ending instead :3

Got an ask? Hit me up, askbox is open!! <3

[solastia]

Shadow Of You | 2

Pairing: Seokjin x Jungkook

Summary: Alpha Seokjin is sixteen when his best friend’s baby brother is born. When he finally gets to visit and meet the new baby Jungkook, he’s dismayed to discover the infant is his true mate. Or: Seokjin and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Long Wait For His Mate.

Seokjin bounded down the stairs of his family’s entirely too large house with his backpack slung off one shoulder. His hair was still damp as he’d rushed through getting ready and his clothes were thrown on without a thought. He hadn’t even had enough time to finish up his homework this morning like he’d been hoping.

“Where do you think you’re going without breakfast?”

He grinned sheepishly at the old housekeeper as he stuffed his feet into his shoes.

“Sorry, Yeona. I’m going to be late as it is.”

She sighs and offers up an apple she had in her apron, obviously having expected such an answer.

“At least eat this. It should tide you over until your first break. And stop staying up so late. You look thin and ragged. Do I have to move in to make you behave?”

Seokjin chuckles, having heard the same threat since he was a young boy.

“But Yeona, I have to study well so I become a doctor someday and can steal you away!”

“Oh, off with you. Have a good day. I’ll make your favorite for dinner tonight, alright?”

He cheekily saluted her and munched on the apple as he rushed to his car, finishing the fruit in just a few bites and throwing the core in a random bush for the gardener to find later. His poor stomach wasn’t happy with just a few bites of fruit, but hopefully, it would hold off until he had a chance to sneak off the grounds and get himself a real meal.

His phone was already rumbling with a barrage of messages, probably from Hoseok complaining that he’d had to walk to school since he’d never showed. He felt bad, but he’d hadn’t even been sure he was going to go to school today since he was just coming off of the most horrible rut in his life - never mind that it had only been his second.

After the life-changing visit to the Min household, Seokjin had rushed home, expecting to shut himself in his room to think about things. However, his body had decided to take matters into its own hands and he’d been horrified to feel himself going into his second rut - three months too early.

For once he’d been thrilled about the fact that Yeona had the weekends off and that his parents were at an event in Jeju. While it probably would have been safer to have someone around to check on him, he was glad he hadn’t had to explain why he was in so much agony. Why he refused to touch himself - instead curling up and sobbing as his body wracked with pain.

As someone who actually paid attention during his science classes due to his future career, he knew that it was simply his body's way of preparing itself since he’d found his mate. And since there was no mate around to sate him, his body increased its demands and he’d been forced to deal with high fevers, horrible cramping, and vomiting. He probably would have been able to reduce the severity with a couple rounds with his own hand, but it felt horribly wrong considering what had triggered it in the first place.

Jin drives with the radio off for once, the silence forcing him to finally think about his situation. And the honest to God truth was that he had no idea what to do. He’d never heard of anything like this happening before. He didn’t even know how to start looking for the information he needed.  

When he was being realistic he’d always thought he’d never even find his true mate. It was becoming a rare thing for anyone these days. He’d pictured his life looking pretty much exactly like his fathers - marry someone his parents picked and work at the hospital until he was forced to retire. If he was lucky like them, he’d at least become friends with his mate and maybe pop out a pup before they start a life of celibacy (hopefully. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to know if his parents had others).

Now...what kind of life could he have, always being drawn to something he couldn’t have? Now that he’d scented his true mate, had skin to skin contact as he’d held him in his arms, his body was going to be thoroughly fucked.

The horrible ruts were just going to get worse for at least a couple of years before his body would finally accept the loss. His scent was going to spike enough that he’d probably have to start showering several times a day and practically smother himself in scent masking products.

Worst of all, if he decided to just move on with his life and let his parents assign him a mate, no bite would ever take. He could marry and produce pups just fine, but he’d never be able to officially mate anyone else in the traditional sense. That would be a big deal-breaker for a lot of people.

Even in this modern world, the wolf and their instincts were still held in high regard. Being married without being mated would be looked at as taboo by his family and their circle, right up there with him mating a beta or becoming a janitor.

Jin sighed as he pulled into the school’s parking lot and finds Yoongi standing there with his arms crossed, giving him no chance of escaping unless he drove off and skipped school entirely.

Jin was many things, but a total coward he was not.

He grabbed his bag and slid out of the car, pasting a grin in his face that he hoped would pass for authentic even under the shrewd eyes of Min Yoongi.

“My darling Yoongichi, were you waiting for me? Chivalry isn’t dead!” he says dramatically, heading straight for the school building and ignoring Yoongi’s grumbles as he tries to catch up to him.

“Don’t give me that. I’ve been trying to call you all weekend. What’s going on?”

Jin shrugs, going for nonchalance, even as that subtle fragrance clinging to his friend began to call to him. “I guess all the stress from school got to me. Went into rut early.”

“Really?” Yoongi clucks in sympathy. “That sucks. Wait...weren’t your parents gone? You spent your rut alone?”

Jin waves away his worry. “I was fine. Some mild cramping. Five packets of beef jerky and a few rounds with myself and my Kumi Koda poster and I’m good to go.”

“You’re gross,” Yoongi groans as he pushes past him to open the door to their first class, which happened to be together.

He was incredibly happy to slide into his first period for once, as that teacher was notorious for not allowing talking and making everyone turn in their phones before class. For now, he was free from any more questions and could simply focus on his shitty schoolwork in peace.

Until lunch, that was.

And when it came around, the nerves roiled in his gut but he sat in his usual spot anyway. He watched his friends quietly as they all settled in like a pack of hyenas on a sugar rush. Yoongi settles into the spot right across from him and Jin nearly groans because that scent is still on him. Understandable, considering. Was he ever going to be able to eat strawberries again without thinking about how fucked up his life was?

“What about you, hyung?”

He snapped to attention when Hoseok jabs him with his elbow. “What?”

“We are heading over to shoot hoops at the park then have dinner at Yoongi’s.”

“Oh, ah,” he stammers, scratching the back of his head as he searches for a way out. “I was going to work on my biology project. Really big deal. At least forty percent of my grade, you know?”

“You can do it there,” Yoongi says with a shrug. “Ma has been asking about you, and you know if you make her wait much longer she’ll kidnap you.”

And that was the heart of his dilemma because the Min household was basically his real home, and he longed to be there. Ached for the feeling of belonging and acceptance that the family gave him. But he also knew that all of it would fly away if they learned the truth.

“Besides,” Yoongi continues after swallowing his food (the only one of his friends that actually bothers to do that by the way), “She’s been really worried since last time. She said she had a feeling she knew what was wrong but she wouldn’t tell me. Like having a rut is something to be embarrassed about,” Yoongi scoffs.

Jin’s nerves went wild. Did she know? Mama Min knew? He supposed she had been closer to him at the time so she would have seen his eyes, and he had growled at her but...shit. He was so fucked. She only wanted him to come by so she could warn the destined pervert away from her son.

But...he supposed he should go. Just one last time. One last moment to soak in as much of that feeling of home as he could get before he was banished. And now that the initial imprinting and rut had passed, he’d even be able to look at him without losing his mind. So maybe he’d take the chance to apologize to Jungkook too because he was going to grow up longing for something he couldn’t understand and unable to bond properly all because fate had chosen poorly for him.

He sighed and pushed around the food on his plate. “I’ll go.”

“Great, hyung. Ma will be happy and stop blowing up my phone.” Yoongi smiled gummily at him.

That seemed to be the end of it, as they all went back to eating and talking over each other about video games. Listening to them made Jin feel ancient, despite the fact that just last week he had nothing better to talk about than video games himself.

The rest of the day went by much too quickly. All of his teachers seemed to be in great moods and willing to cut classes early or assign easy work, so there wasn’t much to keep Jin’s mind occupied. He declined to play basketball with the others afterward because he felt the overwhelming urge to go home and get prepared to go to the Min’s.

It wasn’t until he noticed that he was wearing Burberry from head to toe and had spent twenty minutes styling his hair that he realized he’d been primping for his mate. For an infant that would be more likely to vomit or piss on the outfit than admire the cut or pattern. He scoffed aloud, practically hating his wolf at that moment.

“Get used to disappointment, you bastard,” he muttered wryly.

Still the wolf wouldn’t settle. Jin drove with gritted teeth, wondering what his instincts were screaming at him to do now. It wasn’t until he passed a shopping center and he nearly crashed into someone trying to control his arm from turning the wheel that he understood. Shopping? Why the fuck did he want to go shopping?

The urge grew until stopping abruptly, letting Jin’s mind clear.

Oh! The bastard wanted to bring a courting gift. Not in this lifetime, buddy.

He breathed with mingled relief and wariness when he finally pulled into his usual spot at the Min household. He saw all the scooters and skateboards laying in the lawn that meant his friends were already here.

He gulped and climbed out of his car, walking towards the door with an odd sense of deja vu. It was just a few days ago where he made this same journey that changed his life forever.

He stared at the door, suddenly wondering what to do. Normally, he barged in like he had the right to...but did he any more?

The choice was taken from him when Yoongi flings the door open and scowls at him like he’d just grown three heads.

“Why the hell are you just standing there, weirdo? Come in already.”

“Yoongi, be nice!” Came the familiar command from the living room.

“Yes, Ma,” Yoongi grumbled as he closed the door behind Jin and waited for him to take his shoes off.

They walked together towards the living room as Jin tried to control his racing heart. He was so nervous but his wolf finally seemed content with that strawberries and cream scent filling his nose like a balm.

The moment they walked into the living room, Mama Min pierced him with a meaningful look. Then she turned and handed Jungkook to Hoseok.

“Take him into Yoongi’s room and you guys hang out in there for a bit. I just want to check on Jin without you guys hearing a bunch of embarrassing questions.”

They all chuckled, having dealt with the same concern after one of their own cycles. Jin eyed the bundle in Hoseok’s arms warily, both wanting to run from it and to protect it from Hoseok's too loose grip.

“Seokjin,” Mama Min said softly, bringing his attention back to her.

She was...crying? Was she going to kick him out right away then?

She held out her arms and thickened her scent, the comfort and reassurance she was exuding exactly what he’d needed.

“Come here, sweetheart.”

He keened and ran towards her arms, letting her pull him close. She rocked him as he finally cried for the first time since it happened. He could feel the wet droplets as she joined him.

“Oh, you sweet boy. I’m so sorry. So, so sorry,” she crooned, pressing a soft kiss to the top of his head.

“I’m sorry, Mama. I didn’t do anything. I won’t do anything! I promise!” he cried hysterically, desperate to keep her from ever looking at him with disgust. “I can stay away from him, I will.”

“Oh, darling boy. I know you would never do anything you shouldn’t. I’m just sorry it’s like this,” she said softly, cradling his cheeks to make him look up at her. “I always knew that you were meant to be a part of this family, but this seems like such a high price to pay for it. I wish I could have had him sooner for you.”

“What do I do now?” he asked softly, sniffling.

She sighed and pet his cheek. “I don’t really know, Jinnie. I’ve never heard of this before. I suppose your parents don’t even know about this yet?”

He shook his head. “No. They’re not even home right now.”

Her eyebrow raised in shock. “But...Kim Seokjin! Did you just have a rut all alone in that mausoleum of a house?”

“Uh, yes? Yeona is off weekends and my parents were out of town so I had no choice. BUT! I didn’t do anything! I swear! I just slept a lot and I swear I didn’t think anything bad.”

He clutched at her as he swore, and her eyes softened even as they filled with more tears.

“Hush, sweet thing. This is an...odd and difficult situation, but I like to think I know you well enough to know you’re trying your best. I’m not going to automatically think you’re feeling...things...for an infant. If anything, your alpha should just be feeling super protective of him, and judging by the way you growled at me last time, I think it’s safe to say you are.”

He cleared his throat with embarrassment. “Sorry about that.”

She waved it away. “It’s alright. You can’t help it.”

The conversation lulled to silence after a few moments, with him simply enjoying the way she was petting his hair.

“Mama Min?” he finally asked softly.

“Yes?”

“Should I...um...do you want me to stop coming by now?”

She sighed and tilted his chin up to face her.

“No. You are always welcome here, sweetheart. Always. I trust that not only will you be able to control yourself, but that I will be able to be a fair judge of whatever is going on.”

She waited until he nodded in acknowledgment. “However, if at any time it becomes too hard for you to be here, know that we understand and will love you no matter what you decide. If you think it’s better to stay away, that’s fine. I’ll still expect you to write, call, send a pigeon. Whatever. We won’t be upset if you decide to find a mate your own age and move on with your life. You deserve to. No one will judge you for not waiting for eighteen years for a mate. That’s unrealistic and unfair.”

He nods and looks down. “Does Yoongi know? He’ll be pissed.”

“Not yet. I’ll tell him tonight after you all leave. I think he’ll take it better one on one. But you know him. He’ll take the night to process it and then he’ll be angry at you for two days because you thought he’d get mad at you, not because of the situation.”

That much was true, he supposed.

“Alright,” she said with gusto, pecking him one last time on the head. “Go round the hooligans. Dinner will be done in a moment.”

He jumped up, feeling lighter than he had in days. His life still royally sucked, but at least for the time being he still had his home.

“Everything okay?” Yoongi asked the moment he flung open the bedroom door.

They were all gathered in a little circle in front of Yoongi’s bed, with Hoseok sitting on top of it. He was bouncing and singing something entirely inappropriate for a child.

“Yeah. It’s cool. Dinner’s almost done.”

“Finally!” Namjoon huffed, his stomach rumbling loudly to agree.

“Here!” Hoseok huffed and shoved the bundle towards him. Jin accepted it without thinking.

He looked down and locked eyes again with the creature that had so changed his life. His wolf quieted almost instantly, finally content to be in the general vicinity of its mate. The others shuffled out of the room and he barely noticed, so enthralled he was by the eyes blinking up at him. The baby was so quiet. Aren’t they supposed to be loud?

And...he supposed as far as infants went he was decent looking. Didn’t look like a potato like some infants he’d seen. His eyes were larger than the rest of the Min’s, and his nose seemed a bit longer. Maybe it was just a baby thing and he had to grow into himself.

All he knew was that he was very glad that all he scented was strawberries and pup, and it just made him protective. He didn’t feel any crazy urges or have bad thoughts - he simply wanted to make sure this pup was safe and happy.

Huh , he could live with that.

“Well, how’d I do?”

He looked up to find Mama Min watching him from the doorway, leaning against it and smiling softly.

“He’s only seven weeks old and already makes Yoongi look like a gremlin,” he scoffed playfully, standing up.

She laughs and holds out her arms. “He is a pretty one. Yoongi’s not so bad either when he sleeps more than four hours and showers.”

He hesitates, his wolf unwilling to release the pup now that he had it. But no, he was more than instincts. He thrust Jungkook towards her and pretended that his wolf wasn't howling against the loss.

Who else would he be safer with than his own mother, you bastard? He growled to himself.

When they gathered for dinner it was the usual chaos. Everyone was screaming and talking over each other, tons of laughter and teasing. Amazing food and even better friends.

Maybe I can keep this, he thought to himself. He smiled hopefully as he observed everyone he cared about sitting around him. Maybe things don’t have to change too much. Jungkook will just be another friend. Eventually. When he learns to talk that is. I can keep on with the plan.

Nothing will change.

[jazziwritesthings]

Crazy Part 2- Derek Hale

I do not own teen wolf or any of its characters.

Word count: 2,803

Pairing: Derek Hale x Reader

Summary: Part 2 to this

Warnings: Fighting? Parenthood?

Inspired by It Won’t Be Like This For Long by Darius Rucker. Lyrics in Bold. 

A/n: Read Part 1 Here

************

He didn't have to wake up

He'd been up all night

Laying there in bed listening

To his new born baby cry

Ever since you had brought her home, Derek hadn’t been able to sleep. He was constantly listening to her heart beating from the other room. He was paranoid that something was going to happen. You had reassured him multiple times that nothing was going to happen. He knew you were right, but he just couldn’t shake this feeling that something was going to happen the minute he closed his eyes. 

He makes a pot of coffee

He splashes water on his face

His wife gives him a kiss and says

It gonna be OK

Knowing that he wouldn’t be getting to sleep anytime soon he got out of bed slowly, trying not to wake you. Before he even thinks about it he is walking towards the room next door. Peeking his head in the door he saw her lying there, sleeping peacefully. Taking a deep breath of her scent he walked into the kitchen and started to brew some coffee. Making his way to the sink he splashed some water on his face to wake him up a bit. Making himself a cup of coffee he sat down at the kitchen table. Resting his head on his arms, he slowly falls into a light sleep. 

He was startled awake when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He jerked his head around to see you standing there in his shirt with your own cup of coffee in your hands. Shaking his head he looks up at you with his eyebrows knit together. “I found you here about 4 hours ago. It’s 9am. She’s awake if you want to get her up.” At the sound of a soft cry he was out of his chair and down the hall to get his little girl. 

It wont be like this for long

One day soon we'll look back laughin'

At the week we brought her home

This phase is gonna fly by

So baby just hold on

It wont be like this for long

She had been so cranky the past two weeks and neither of you could figure out why. Deaton told you that it wasn’t safe to try to take pain from a baby. You didn’t understand why but he was adamant. So you and Derek were feeling all sorts of helplessness. Then Melissa showed up and told you what was wrong immediately, “ Guys, she teething.” Both you and Derek looked down at the little girl currently crawling around the living room. “Just get one of those teething toys and put it in the freezer. It should help. Don’t be surprised if she gets a fever, it’s known to happen.” Thanking Melissa as she left you looked over to where Derek had just been to find him missing. Looking around the loft for him you find him in her room. Sitting on the rocking chair with her laying on his chest. He was gently rubbing her back and just staring at her lovingly. The sight before you melted your heart. “Remember when we first brought her home and you didn’t sleep for days?” He looked over at you and smiled while looking back down, “ I wouldn’t change a single thing. Except maybe her being so grumpy and in pain.” Walking over to him you press a gentle kiss to his head, “ It’s not going to be like this all the time. I promise.” You stepped back and pressed a kiss to your daughters head before heading into your bedroom and getting ready for bed. 

Four years later bout four thirty

She's crawling in their bed

He heard the pitter patter of little feet before he actually saw her. Then there she was, standing in the doorway to your bedroom holding her blanket and teddy bear. Without saying anything she walked into the room and towards Derek’s side of the bed. He smiled at her when he saw that her eyes were glowing a precious golden yellow. She was already using her eyes to see in the dark. He picked her up and placed her in the middle of the bed between you two. You turned onto your side feeling the bed dip down. Seeing your daughter smiling up at her daddy made your heart feel full. You silently watched as she pushed Derek's arm and weazled her way to be nuzzled into his side. He kissed the top of her head before his eyes met yours. You smiled at him reaching for his hand and intertwining your fingers with his. “ I love you.” It may have been dark but you could see the smile on his face, “ I love you too.” It amazed you that no matter how long you two had been together. Whenever you said that to him it caused him to get shy and adorable. 

And when he drops her off at preschool

She's clinging to his leg

The teacher peels her off of him

He says what can I do

She says now don't you worry

This will only last a week or two

She was starting preschool in less than a week and to say that both of you were stressed would be an understatement. You knew it wasn’t going to be easy because of what happened a few weeks back.

You and Derek were in desperate need of a night out. No baby, no pack. Just the two of you. So when Scott volunteered to babysit you were more than ecstatic. You took your time getting ready before going and dropping her off at Scott’s. Pulling into the driveway you were surprised to see Stiles’ jeep in the street. He had been in virginia for over a year at this point and you missed him like crazy. You didn’t even wait for Derek before getting out of the car and running to the door. You weren’t surprised at the fact that it opened before you got there and Stiles stood there with his arms open. You leapt at him wrapping your arms around his neck and placing a kiss on his cheek. He wrapped his arms tightly around you. He set you down and you grabbed his face just looking him over. The pudginess of his cheeks was gone, there was now stubble on what was once smooth skin, and he was muscly. Your baby had grown up and you weren’t there to see it. You didn’t even notice that you were crying until he wiped a tear from your cheek and pulled you into another hug. “ I missed you mama.” He rested his head on top of yours. He only let go when he saw who else was walking towards him, “ Oh my god! You’re so big! Do you remember me?” He squatted down so he was just a little taller than her. She looked at him with a bit of a glare and then she smiled and walked into his waiting arms, “Sties!!” You all smiled at how she tried to pronounce Stiles’ name. Scott came and stood on the porch as well and pulled you into a hug. “Hey mama.” Stiles put her down and she came right over to you and you gave her the biggest hug ever, “ You be good for the boys okay?” She looked kind of confused but nodded her head. Then she walked over to her daddy and demanded to be held. He held her tight before he tried to hand her off to Scott, “ No!” She had a death grip on Derek’s jacket. “ Hey, It’s okay. You're gonna play with the boys tonight okay? Mommy and Daddy will be back later, Okay?” That was when the water works started. You immediately knew that your night out was not going to happen now. She had Derek wrapped around her finger that when she started to cry, whatever was making her cry would be stopped immediately. He looked at you and saw that your face had fallen and you were smelling of sadness. “What’s wrong?” You shook your head, “ Nothing. Are we going?” He knew what you were asking. He knew he never did anything that made her cry. “Babe, I can’t just-” He didn’t get to finish his sentence before Scott stepped in and pried her hands free from Derek, “ Yes you can. You both need this. We got this. Now go.” Derek couldn’t disobey and order from an alpha so he nodded and grabbed your hand. 

Now here you were. Waiting for Derek to get back from dropping her off at preschool. It was nerve racking and you didn’t know what to expect. When he came home by himself it was a relief but it also concerned you how he had been so quiet. “What happened?” You asked as you stood next to where he sat at the table. Beginning to rub his back you saw him visibly relax. “She had a meltdown. She grabbed my leg and wouldn’t let go. The teacher had to pry her off of me because I couldn’t do it myself. I don’t think I can do this again.” You rested your head on his shoulder, “ Well, you have too. I go back to work soon and I won’t be able to drop her off. It won’t be like this for long. I promise.” 

One day soon she'll be a teenager

And at times he’ll think she hates him

As you arrived home from work the first thing you heard was a door slamming. Taking a deep breath and walking deeper into the house you saw Derek on the couch with his head in his hands, “ What happened?” He didn’t even look at you before and threw himself back on the couch, “ She hates me.” Shaking your head as you take off your heels, “ No she doesn’t and you know it.” He looked over at you with a look of defeat all over his face, “ She said she hates me.” You walked over and kissed him gently, “ I’ll go talk to her.” You walked up the steps of your little home and made your way to your 14 year old daughters room. “ So. You hate dad now?” She just groaned from her spot on her bed. Walking over and sitting down she moved until her head was lying in your lap. Gently playing with her hair, “ What happened?” Looking down at the beautiful teenager in your lap, all you could see was the little baby you had made. “ I got into a fight in school. I got detention and then I came home and Dad just started in on me about the fight.” Stopping your movement, “ You got into a fight and detention?” She closed her eyes, “Not now mom. Please.” You sighed and decided to let it go, “ What happened, why did you get into a fight?” This time she sat up and faced away from you. “ There were these kids. They were making fun of Stilinski. I couldn’t let that just happen.” Nodding your head your thoughts drift to Stile’s oldest boy, he was about 4 years younger than her. All the kids in the pack were referred to as cousins. So when someone hurts one, all of them are hurt. “Did you tell that to dad?” She looked over at you, “ I didn’t get that chance. He was just so mad about the fight and then add onto that the detention I got. I just couldn’t take being yelled at. So…” You nodded, “ So you told him you hated him to get him to leave you alone?” You saw her face fall as the gravity of what she had said finally sunk in. “ What do I do mama?” You stood up and held out your hand. She took it in her own and looked into your eyes, “ Tell him the truth. That’s the best thing to do.” She walked out of her room and stood at the bottom of the stairs watching them interact.

Derek saw her walk into the living room. She didn’t say anything, she just sat next to him and curled into his side. He looked over to where he knew he would find you. You nodded your head as you walked into the kitchen to start dinner. “ I love you daddy.” His heart swelled at the words he would never get tired of hearing. “ Want to tell me what happened?” She told him everything that had happened. From the kids picking on Stilinski to her throwing a punch when they said something about her family. She just spilled her guts to the man you both loved. 

Then he'll walk her down the isle

And he'll raise her veil

You stared at the women standing before you. In a few short hours she was going to be married. She would no longer be Miss Hale. She would now be Mrs. McCall. She was marrying Scott’s oldest boy, who was only a few months younger than she was. You hugged her one last time before leaving the room to go find your seat. You sat down next to Scott and grabbed his hand. He gave yours a squeeze, “ It’s going to be okay mama.” he gently kissed your cheek as you looked up at the man standing at the altar. It was just so hard to believe that at one point in time, he was just a baby that you had over for playdates. You had always had your suspicions. Every time the pack got together they would go off somewhere just to hang out. Being the oldest 2 of the pack's kids they didn’t want to hang around the younger ones, but they were too young to hang with the adults. You heard the music and knew it was time.

Derek stood at the door waiting for his daughter to come out of a room. When she did he had to do a double take. This woman, she couldn’t be his daughter. His daughter was just a little girl. Still wearing pigtails and tu-tus. Not this beautiful woman wearing this white dress about to change her life forever. “Daddy?” He hadn’t realized that he was staring, “ Do I look okay?” He didn’t trust his voice as he felt tears well up in his eyes. “ Oh daddy.” She saw he was crying and she walked closer and pulled him into a hug. “You look beautiful baby. Absolutely stunning.” He pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head. He heard the music start playing. He offered up his elbow and she laced her arm through it. “ You ready?” He looked down at her. Seeing the big smile on her face, “ Born ready.” Then they started the walk towards the altar. It seemed like it took ages to get there. All he could see was this gorgeous woman beside him. His mind was flashing with memories. Everything from the day they brought her home, to her first tooth, first step, first word. Then to her riding a bike. Her first full shift. Her first car accident. Her first boyfriend. All the things he never thought would happen because he didn’t believe that he was father material. Buth this girl right next to him, she proved him wrong. He was father material. He was the best dad ever.

But right now she up and crying

And the truth is that he don't mind

As he kisses her good night

And she says her prayers

He lays down there beside her

Till her eyes are finally closed

And just watching her it breaks his heart

Cause he already knows

It wont be like this for long

One day soon that little girl is gonna be

All grown up and gone

“Derek?” The voice startled him awake, “What happened?” He looked around and realized that he was still in bed, in the loft. Shaking his head thinking of what he just saw, “ It’s your turn to feed her.” He slowly got out of bed and walked down the hall. Walking into her room he saw the infant crying in her crib. He felt a pang in his chest as he picked her up and made his way to the kitchen. Getting a bottle for her, he makes his way to the couch and lays on it and feeds his little girl. “This isn’t going to last long enough, is it?” She made a noise as she continued to drink from her bottle. After she finished he burped her and stayed lying and just talked to her. He told her all about the dream he had and how it had felt so real. Looking down at the little girl, now asleep on his chest, “ I’ll love you no matter what.” 

[sanderssidesfanfiction]

If There’s A Place I Could Be - Chapter Forty Three

If There’s a Place I Could Be Tag

March 12th, 1998

There wasn’t anything hugely important about it. It wasn’t Remy’s birthday, or Christmas, or any other holiday. It was just a regular day, and that was what made this so special. Toby had come home from school with a tiny recipe book which he had given to Remy. “Obviously, that’s not the end-all be-all of recipe books, but it’s something to start you off so you’re not stuck with ramen every time Mom makes you cook your own lunch or dinner.”

Remy looked at the book in his hands almost reverently, and grinned. “Thanks, Tobes!” he exclaimed. “This looks like it’ll be a huge help! Making ramen is kinda relaxing, but it does get old after a while. This will help a lot.”

Toby gave him a smile and a one-armed hug. “I’m glad you like it. Now, I gotta scram and figure out how to explain to Mom why I need a ride to my girlfriend’s house, but I hope that sometime soon we could try a recipe in there together.”

Remy was touched. “Yeah, I’d love that,” he said.

  September 11th, 2001

It started with a ripple but soon tore into the entire coffee shop. They had seen it on the news, gotten a call from someone who knew someone who was involved. The Twin Towers were going down in flames. The Pentagon had been attacked. Everyone was bustling around, talking about it, trying to call loved ones to make sure they were all right, trying to get their coffee fast so they could pick up their kids from school and hug them tight and never let go. Remy’s head was reeling as he heard the news. He didn’t live near New York City, and Washington DC wasn’t a hop skip and a jump away, but it was still startling to hear about.

Startling was an understatement, but Remy didn’t have the words to describe what he felt. He scratched the back of his neck as he continued working on his shift. He had a job to do, no matter how much he didn’t want to do it. He worked and worked, making coffee after coffee and passing out pastries as needed, and he knew that he wouldn’t be able to sleep well tonight.

At the end of his shift, Remy had just hung up his apron and Emile walked in, looking dazed. He took one look at Remy and pulled him in for a tight hug, which Remy desperately returned. “You heard the news?” Emile asked.

“Yeah. Obviously, you did too,” Remy said.

“Mhm,” Emile confirmed, voice sounding small, and scared, and uncertain, and that terrified Remy to no end.

They broke apart and Remy said, “Let’s just go home.”

“Yeah,” Emile agreed.

They got in Emile’s car, but Emile wasn’t starting it. Remy looked at him. “Emile? You okay?”

Emile stared at his lap and shook his head. “This has me thinking...” he started, but stopped. “I just want...” Another beat. “I don’t want to miss my chance with you.”

“What do you mean?” Remy asked, heart starting to beat harder.

“I mean...I mean life is short, and we never know when it’s going to end. I don’t want to land in an early grave without telling you that I love you,” Emile said. “Because I do. I do love you, Rem, more than words can say. That’s why I fought back so hard when you said what you did. It hurt more coming from you than anyone else. I don’t...I don’t want to live without you, Rem. I want you by my side. And as more than a friend. I want...I want to love you for the rest of our lives, however long or short that may be. And I know commitment is scary, but...there’s no one else I’d rather commit to.”

Remy stared at Emile in shock. “You’re saying that you’d, like, marry me?” he asked.

“Hypothetically. One day. If you wanted. Not right now, obviously, I’m not proposing, but...I want to be your boyfriend, with the option of maybe, one day, being your husband,” Emile said. He turned pink. “Is that weird?”

Remy leaned over and kissed Emile softly, but with every ounce of adoration and desperation he felt combined. Emile kissed back, placing a hand at the nape of Remy’s neck. When they pulled apart, Emile lightly squeezed the back of Remy’s neck. “I take it that’s a yes, then,” Emile said.

“Definitely. Yes,” Remy agreed. “I really want to be with you, too.”

Emile offered Remy a shy smile and they finally drove home. Remy squirmed where he sat, clearing his throat. “Kim was going to be moving her practice the week after this one,” he said. “I’m not sure if she’ll be doing that anymore.”

“Well, we can always find someone else in the area,” Emile offered.

Remy shook his head. “No offence, Emile, but I think I’ve made all the progress that I can make. At least, right now, you know? I know not to dump everything on you, and I have coping strategies for when the uh...the flashbacks pop up, and I know how to be a little more open-minded to other people’s experiences. I don’t want to rehash everything with an entirely new therapist, when I don’t exactly need one, you know? Other people need that time more than I do, and besides, I think I’m mostly well adjusted other than a few...uh...hiccups.”

“Obviously, I can’t force you to go to therapy,” Emile said reluctantly. “And we’re not in a position where if you don’t go I risk seriously hurting myself helping you. But I do wish you’d reconsider.”

“I know you do,” Remy said. “And I get it, really. But when it comes down to it, I’m just...I know I’ve said it before...but I don’t need a therapist, Emile. I don’t think I’m cured, but I do think that I’ve processed everything that can be processed at this point in time.”

“Therapy isn’t just for processing trauma, it can help you with the little things, too,” Emile pointed out.

“Well, yeah, but what little things are there, other than our occasional fight and my occasional stress over work? Those don’t happen often, like I said, and other people need that time more than I do,” Remy said.

“I don’t want to start an argument,” Emile said as they pulled into the parking lot. “I just request that you keep it in the back of your mind. Sound good?”

Remy nodded. “Yeah. That’s fine.”

“You’re going to forget this conversation even happened by tomorrow, aren’t you?” Emile asked knowingly.

“Probably,” Remy agreed. “Anything I don’t want to address I just bite the bullet if I have to or else I ignore it until it goes away.”

“That’s not very healthy,” Emile said, voice pitched just a little too high to be normal.

“You can’t exactly stop me,” Remy sang at the same pitch.

“I know,” Emile sighed. “And I try to not let it get to me, but sometimes you really do worry me, Rem.”

“I know,” Remy said softly. “And I appreciate the fact that you care. But I can handle a lot of things well on my own, remember?”

“Yeah,” Emile said. “Although that stomach flu you had last week was not one of those things.”

Remy pulled a face. “Tell me about it. I’m just glad I got a clean bill of health on Friday. We need the money for rent.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me that money is tight, please,” Emile groaned. “I’m stressed enough.”

“Today is a stressful day,” Remy replied simply.

An awkward silence hung over them as they stepped into the apartment and put their things away. Emile came out of his room around the same time Remy did, and they looked at each other uncertainly. “We already know what’s going to happen if we turn on the TV, don’t we?” Emile asked.

“Unfortunately,” Remy sighed.

The silence took over again. Emile cleared his throat. “Want to drown our sorrows in cartoons?”

Another long pause. “...Sure, why not.”

Emile grabbed some movie or another, Remy wasn’t really paying attention, and he settled on the floor seeing as how they had yet to get a TV stand and therefore buying chairs wouldn’t help them whatsoever. Emile put the movie in and settled next to Remy. Remy scooted closer. Emile looked over at him curiously. Remy took Emile’s arm and wrapped it around his shoulder, nuzzling into Emile’s side. “You’re just a giant cat,” Emile said with a fond smile.

Remy stuck his tongue out at Emile and Emile laughed. “You even do the tongue thing! You’re a cat!”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Remy said, but he was smiling and nuzzling further into Emile.

Emile laughed softly and pressed a kiss into Remy’s hair. “Shh, the movie is starting,” Emile said.

Remy rolled his eyes and rested his head on Emile’s shoulder, feeling thoroughly exhausted. This was why he was letting Emile putting on some movies and cartoons for them both. He didn’t have the mental energy or the will to watch normal TV, his brain wouldn’t comprehend words on the page like they normally would when reading a book, and he hadn’t slept soundly since Emile and him had broken up. Even when he was sick with a stomach flu, his sleep would be interrupted by vomiting or fever or chills. He hadn’t gotten a good night’s sleep in a month, so having cartoons on to watch if he could even stay awake made things simpler. Easier to follow. Low-stakes games that didn’t feel rushed or forced. It was dumb, but it was comforting.

Well, no, it wasn’t dumb, purely because it was comforting. It was why Remy reread his favorite comics, why he reread books when he knew the ending. Everything turned out all right in the end; he didn’t have to worry about the characters dying an unforeseen death or really going through anything he couldn’t handle, because he had been through it all already. He knew what was going to happen. And Emile derived similar comfort from cartoons.

...Huh. That explained a lot. And also made Remy feel a bit like a dick for not understanding that for a year.

Emile shifted underneath Remy and Remy opened his eyes. When had he closed them? “Hey, sleepyhead,” Emile lightly teased. “I need to pee. You mind?”

“Hm? Mm-mm,” Remy hummed, sitting upright.

Emile put a hand on Remy’s shoulder and offered him a smile, a murmured, “I’ll be right back,” and a gentle squeeze.

Remy watched Emile go and leaned back against the wall. He looked at the TV, which had been turned off. Apparently, he had slept through the entire movie. Whoops.

Emile walked back over to him and leaned against the wall. “Do you want to head to the shelter to help out tonight?”

“Wouldn’t we miss dinner?” Remy asked.

“There’s ways to help out other than cooking. Childcare, helping people with paperwork for food stamps and such, or even helping with finances, either the shelter’s or the individual people there,” Emile said. “Usually the childcare dies down after dinner, but when the kids’ parents have to talk about something serious, someone has to keep the kids occupied. And besides, we might not get there before dinner wraps up, but it never hurts to just talk to Bernie and see what he might need help with in the future.”

“True,” Remy allowed, stretching his legs. “I’m just not full of energy at the moment.”

“Yeah, but that’s why we should go. Most people won’t, and they might not help today, when lots of people will need help.”

“I know,” Remy agreed, standing. “We’d better get going if we want to be there soon, though.”

Emile offered Remy a thankful smile and Remy offered him a hopeful one back. They had been on good terms again, falling back into their old routine like nothing had happened. Though Remy couldn’t deny there was a certain shift in the dynamics since their fight. As he grabbed his jacket, he wondered if it was just what had happened today that made Emile behave differently, or if this would stay. The fact that they resumed dating would definitely remain, but Remy found he liked this new feeling. It wasn’t like they weren’t equals in their relationship before, but something seemed a little different about today. They seemed like...partners.

Obviously, they had been partners before. That was how relationships worked. But more than the sense of partners in crime. More than the sense of passionate declarations of love, or simple lingering touches on each other’s bodies when they wanted to discreetly show affection. This partnership felt like it would last through fights, through trouble, through any and everything. Even through a break up. Remy felt like this partnership wasn’t just something between him and Emile romantically. If he inspected it closely, he was a little surprised to find that it ran deeper than romance, deeper than platonic love. This was a bond he hadn’t experienced before. It wasn’t a familial bond, but it felt similar. Like he and Emile had somehow always known each other and never wanted to be without each other in their lives. It was cliché, but Remy could have sworn that...this was what soulmates should have felt like.

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

COSMIC - S1:E4; Chapter Four, The Body - [Pt. 1]

A Will Byers x Gender Neutral!Reader Series

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘺 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘌𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘠/𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘺 𝘰𝘥𝘥 𝘴𝘺𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘨𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘧.

||𝟑𝐑𝐃 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐏𝐎𝐕||

Mike flips through the drawings Will had given him what seems like ages ago. He found himself unable to tear himself away from one of Will's favorites. It was the party. But they were their dungeons and dragons selves. Will the Wise stood proudly amongst his fellow party members. Together they stood triumphantly.

Mike was pulled from his thoughts at the sound of the feedback from the supercomm.

"Can you please stop that?" He asked exasperatedly at El, who sat in her fort fiddling with the device.

El looks to him, before returning to the com, the crackling of the feedback whining throughout the room.

"Are you deaf?" Mike snapped.

El was determined to keep tinkering away.

"I thought we were friends, you know? But friends tell each other the truth. And they definitely don't lie to each other. You made me think Will was okay, that he was still out there, but he wasn't. He wasn't! Maybe you thought you were helping, but you weren't. You hurt me. Do you understand? What you did sucks. Lucas was right about you. All along."

El's eyes bore into Mike's as he yelled at her. However, she sat there, unfazed before turning back to the com. With the final crackle, the distinctive voice of Will Byers rang over the comm and across the room. He was singing.

"So come on and let me know, Should I stay or should I go?"

Mike slowly looked up from the picture and towards El, goosebumps littering his skin. She was looking to him expectantly, blood dripping from her nose.

"Should I stay or should I go now? Should I stay or should I go now?"

Mike jumped off the couch and ran to El, who slowly handed him the walkie. Mike stared at it in disbelief as he listened to the unmistakable voice of his best friend.

"If I go there will be trouble. If I stay it will be double."

Mike gladly took the comm. His finger pressed firmly on the speaker button he practically yelled into the speaker. "Will, is that you? It's Mike! Do you copy? Over."

El stares at the boy, wishing she could help him more. Alas, she knew Will would be unable to hear him. The room was met with the dreaded static of the other line as Mike waited for a response that would never come.

He tried again.

"Will, are you there? Will!"

Mike saw the look on El's face, knowing she had done her best. He dropped his hand to his side.

"Was that...? Was it...?"

El gave Mike a bittersweet smile.

"Will."

There was a soft knock at the door.

"Michael? Hi, honey. How are you feeling?"

Karen poked her head into her son's room.

Mike stuttered as he lay under the blankets, and she crosses the room to sit at his bedside.

"I, uh... I don't think I can go to school today."

"Oh, that's fine, sweetie. I need to drop off Nance, then I'm gonna check in on Barb's parents. Why don't you grab a book or something and come with me? We can stop by the video store on the way back, pick out whatever you want. Even R-rated."

Karen offered, a small smile on her face.

"I think I just want to stay home today. I mean, if that's okay?" He asked, tentatively.

"Well, are you sure you're gonna be all right here by yourself?"

"I think so."

"Okay." She sighed, patting her son on the arm comfortingly."If you need anything, call Dad at work."

Mike softly nodded his head.

"Okay."

"Okay."

Karen leaned forward and kissed her son on the forehead before stepping out.

"Bye." Mike softly called after his mom.

She turned to him as she closed the door, a smile on her face.

"Bye, sweetie."

As soon as his mother closed the door, Mike jumped up from under the covers, fully clothed. He reached for the supercomm on his bedside table and extended the antenna.

"Lucas, do you copy? Lucas, come on, I know you're there! This is urgent. I'm serious."

Mike stood up from his bed, continuing into the walkie. "I'm not gonna stop until you answer. Lucas. Lucas!" He took a deep breath. "Lucas, Lucas, Lucas, Lucas, Lucas... Lucas, Lucas, Lucas, Lucas, Lucas, Lucas, Lucas—"

"Go away, Mike." Lucas had sat up in bed, frustrated as he extended the antenna.

"I'm not in the mood, all right? Over and out."

Before Lucas could close the supercomm antenna, Mike's voice had stopped him.

"No, not 'out.' I'm not messing around, okay? This is about Will. Over."

Lucas paused, not letting himself get his hopes up.

"What about Will? You mean about his funeral? Over."

"No, not his funeral. Screw hs funeral!" Mike spits.

"What?"

"Just get over here stat. And bring Dustin and Y/n. Over and out."

||𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐕||

I blink away the tears as I stare at the same wall my eyes haven't left since I woke up. Lucas saw me and Dustin off and made sure we got home. My whole body has been numb since last night. The image of Will laying lifeless on the gurney hasn't left my mind.

I never would have believed it but, I wanted more than anything to be at school rather than staying home today. Mom thinks it was the stress and trauma that made me sick today, but whatever it really is, she insisted I stay home.

I locked myself in my room as soon as I got home, Dustin had filled Mom in on what happened. She had woken me up this morning, apologizing and asking if there was anything she could do to help. But she couldn't do anything. Nobody could. Will, my best friend, is gone.

Apparently, I was burning up because Mom began freaking out when she felt my forehead. I didn't feel any different apart from grief and heartbreak.

"Alright, Pumpkin, I called the school and they know you're staying home. I wish I could stay with you but I can't miss another work day. I'll be back at the regular time, and you know what number to call if you need anything, right?"

I felt her hand rub my shoulder as I never broke eye contact with the wall. Tears were falling freely down my face, through my scalp and into my ears and pillow. My left arm had become numb from laying on my left side.

"Mm." I couldn't even bring myself to speak.

"Bye, sweetie."

I heard her footsteps recede followed by the closing of my bedroom door.

I closed my eyes, trying to sleep. But every time my eyes closed I saw it all over again. Will being pulled from the water. I tried to push through it. But my mind began creating scenarios of how he fell in. Countless images of him stumbling over the cliff. Or even the horrific thought of his already lifeless body being tossed into the water by a faceless figure that I only assumed to be his murderer.

Countless, horrendous scenarios playing like a slideshow in my head and the second wave of pain washed over me as it felt as if someone reached into my chest and squeezed my heart into dust, while another hand punched my gut.

I rolled over on my back, I felt the anguish surging through my veins and all the way to my fingertips as a wave of anger erupted from deep within. I heard items fall to the floor somewhere around my room and I figured that in my fit I had slammed my fists too hard against my bed, shaking the room somehow.

I quickly dismissed the odd thought and the second wave of hot tears streamed down my cheeks.

My palms began to sweat as I felt my body temperature rise out of what I could only assume was anger. That must be where my fever had come from but I still didn't understand how that all happened.

I was angry my best friend was taken away from me. I loved him, and he was the closest friend I have ever had. And now he's gone. I still refused to believe it yet my mind was cruel enough to replay the worst moment of my life everytime I close my eyes.

Sniffling, I wiped my eyes and sat up. I couldn't stand being alone with anything else to think about and I looked around my room for anything to take my mind off everything that's been happening.

My eyes scanned the room and then they fell on the all too familiar mix tape Will had lent to me just months ago. A bittersweet smile had made its way onto my face and I got out of bed. I put the tape in the boombox and pressed play.

"Should I stay or should I go?"

I sat listening to Will's favorite song and I felt a different wave of emotion wash over me for once.

I think it was a stubborn hope.

[courtofjurdan]

One Chance part 8

Jurdan College AU - previous chapter

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*This chapter was not suppose to come out like this out all, but what I wanted to add didn't seem right without this piece sooo I hope you enjoy!! Feel free to give me prompts on what you would like to see!! *

Warning: mentions of sexual and physical abuse

She woke Wednesday not feeling her best. She went to her first class at school but ended up leaving after that. She didn’t have the energy or will power to continue her day. 

 She had to call her lawyer and let her know that she wouldn’t be able to make it in person to their meeting. But, she did let them know she could do it over the phone. Jude didn’t want to push things back. She just wanted to get it over with. 

And that’s exactly what they did, they went over every detail on the phone in preparation for tomorrow. Jude was stressed about it. She was nervous. What happens if it doesn’t go as planned? 

Cardan called her at lunch, worried because he didn’t see her again in her other classes but she let the phone go to voicemail. She didn’t want anybody to know she felt bad. You know, she has to put up that good front. 

But, Cardan took matters into his own hands. Instead of going to lunch somewhere, he goes right to Jude’s door. 

He knocks and says, “Hey Jude, are you in there?”

Jude rolled her eyes, but tried to be a good friend and kept her groan of annoyance quiet.

“Yeah, come in.” She said in a weak-ish tone. 

When Cardan walked in Jude was in her bed wrapped in her blankets.

“Are you okay, Jude?” He walks over to her and sits on the edge of the bed. He was clearly worried. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He didn’t quite believe her.

He put his hand on her forehead and cheeks to check for a fever. When that was okay, he said, “You look pale. Are you sure you're okay? Have you eaten anything?” 

“Well I’ve been nauseous and I have a gigantic headache, but I’m okay. It’s probably because of the recent stress I’ve been through. And no, I haven’t felt like eating.” Jude’s heart broke to see this side of Cardan, concerned. 

Cardan got up, walked outside her bedroom, and looked around the small dorm room and saw bread and a toaster. 

“Would you eat some toast if I fixed you some?”

Jude nodded. 

Cardan quietly left and Jude was trying extra hard to focus on the noises so she could make sure he was actually fixing toast and not snooping.

All of a sudden Cardan yelled, “Do you mind if I fix some for myself?” Jude flinched at the loudness of his voice.

“Yeah I don’t mind.” 

Soon enough he comes into her room carrying two plates of toast and two cups of orange juice. Jude sits up and Cardan lays the tray on the night stand beside her. 

“Here is your food, Princess.” Cardan says playfully.

“No, no not princess, Queen.” 

“Yes, Queen Jude, forgive me.” 

They both started laughing at each other. Jude patted the empty space beside her for Cardan to sit on so he wouldn’t have to eat standing up.

He raised his eyebrows and said, “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m not going to make you stand there and eat while I’m sitting here eating.” 

He walked around the bed and sat down with his back against the headboard. 

They ate in silence until Cardan looked at his phone and realized the time. 

“Oh Jude, our next class starts in ten minutes.”

He hadn’t realized how long he had been with her. They ate and watched a show on Netflix on Jude’s phone and the time went by fast. 

“Oh ok. Well, thank you for checking in on me. And for taking care of me.” Jude said while a blush covered her cheeks. 

“It was no problem, really. Even though you don’t feel well, I still enjoyed it. It was a nice, silent company.” 

He was about to walk out of her bedroom door when he turned around. 

“I’ll call to check on you later, get plenty of rest and if you need me - and I mean need me for anything- call me. I promise I’ll come.” 

“Okay, Cardan, thank you.” 

He just nodded his head at her and left. He was quite pleased with the impression he made today. He gets to his one chance back, and by God, he is not going to ruin it. 

Taryn called Jude about an hour after Cardan left. He must have told her I wasn’t feeling well. Or maybe she asked about me? Which would be surprising since Taryn has never given two scents of care about me. But, hey, people change, right?

“Hey Jude, Cardan told me you weren’t feeling well. Are you feeling any better?” There was so much sincerity in Taryn’s voice. 

“Yeah, I’m actually feeling much better. The headache is still lingering but the nausea is much better.” 

“Okay that’s good. I’m going to stop by and see you later if that’s okay.” 

“Yeah, Taryn that’s fine. Well, I’ll see you later.” 

“Bye.” Taryn hung up the phone.

That’s weird. Taryn wants to hang out with me, instead of Locke. She never wants to do that, like never. Maybe she misses me. I doubt it. She is probably wanting something and is being nice to me to get it. Jude is always scheming about things. Always thinking. 

Not too long after that Taryn walks in and sees Jude in the bed, sitting up. She looks much better since Cardan has been there but she is still trying to fight off the headache that still lingers. 

“Hey Jude, how are you doing?”

“Much better. Do you need anything?” Jude said quite sharply. 

Well she just cut to the chase. Her wanting to know things fast is getting the best of her.

“Umm, I came to see if you needed anything. I thought I would be nice company, instead of you being lonely. Why would you think I wanted anything?” 

Jude clears her throat before she says, “Well you chose to come over here rather than hang with your precious Locke.” 

Jude saw sadness in Taryn’s eyes as she said, “Have you not noticed?” 

Jude just raised her eyebrows in response so Taryn continued, “Me and Locke aren’t together anymore.” 

Jude put the biggest smile on her face. “Well it’s about time.”

Taryn stood up and started to walk away. She was hurt by the way Jude showed no sympathy to her. Hurt that Jude didn’t care. 

“No wait I’m sorry, Taryn.” Taryn stopped and turned to Jude so Jude continued, “Why did you break up?” 

“He thought it was acceptable for Valerian to violate you. He knew of the plan and he let it take place. He could have stopped it. Could have told somebody. But no, he didn’t. So not only did he lose his friend, he lost his girlfriend.” There were tears running down Taryn's cheek now. 

Jude couldn’t believe it. Taryn broke off the relationship because she obviously loved Jude more than him to know there was a boundary. There was a line. And Locke crossed his line. For Taryn, he lost his chance. 

Jude had been so caught up in herself that she didn’t even realize they weren’t hanging out anymore. She was so distracted that she didn’t notice her sisters own pain. Not just sister, twin. She felt kind of guilty.

“Taryn, you did that for me? You broke off your relationship basically for me?” Jude was shocked.

Taryn nodded and sat back down on the bed. Jude drew her in for a hug. It was her turn for Taryn to cry on her shoulder. Taryn did it for her, it was time to give the same thing back. 

Taryn ended up staying for a couple of hours and they watched a movie and ate popcorn. They both could say that they really enjoyed the presence of each other. They missed times like these. Missed this bond. 

Cardan texts her during the movie to check up on her. 

C: Hey, feeling better??

J: Yeah I’m feeling much better. Taryn is over. We’re watching a movie.

C: Okay, enjoy your movie. Text me if you need me. 

J: Yes, sir. 

Jude could just see him rolling his eyes at the “yes sir” she gave him. 

When Taryn left and she was alone, she had to call one person. She knew the news that she had to tell would benefit him to know. It was no other than the Ghost. 

“Hey.” Ghost said softly.

“Well hello Ghost, I’ve got something to tell you?” Jude was trying to keep her voice cool and calm but she was just so excited. 

“Please, amuse me.” 

“Taryn is no longer dating Locke, that means she is up for grabs. That means I would take your chance while you got it.”

“You have got to be kidding me, you called me for this?” His voice was a little shaky, probably nerves.

“Of course I did. I’m not stupid I know you probably already know because you observe everything quite well, but I’m here to push you further. There is no other possible future brother in law I rather have than you.” Jude said in a quite sarcastic, cheery voice, but he knows she means it wholeheartedly. 

She could basically hear the eye roll from him, “I’m flattered, Jude, but I can’t.” 

“And why is that? Are you crushing on someone else? Woo wait, do you have someone else?”

“No, no Jude, I have nobody, I just can’t talk to her. It might be too early to ask her out. She probably is still hurting, or what if she rejects me? That’s so embarrassing.”

“So what? Are you just going to wish from a distance? And let me tell you, she is ready. The quicker Locke is off her mind, the more I don’t have to worry about her going back to him.” 

“I don’t know, Jude”

“Great, it's a plan. Tomorrow you will ask her to come to lunch with us.” 

“Uhh, Jude-” Ghost began.

Jude interrupted, “No buts.”

She heard Ghost groan and an even bigger smile spread across her face, “fine, fine, I’ll do it. 

“I know you will.” 

“Goodnight, Jude.”

“Night.” 

Jude went to bed that night feeling victorious. She was so excited to see how this pans out. She is pretty sure it will go great. 

It’s Thursday. The day Jude has been waiting for. She has to go to court for the Valerian situation. She is not feeling too bad. She just has this gut wrenching nervousness in the pit of her stomach. But, that’s to be expected. 

Jude does go to her morning classes first though. All her friends know what today is for her so they try to calm her as much as they can but Jude is defiant in help, but they do try. 

Before they left school to eat lunch, Jude pulled Ghost to the side. 

“Okay, When she walks out those doors, you're going to go ask her.” 

“JUDEEEE.” Ghost groaned.

All Jude did was smile and watch. When Taryn walked out the school building, going down the stairs, Jude nudged Ghost forward as if to tell him to go. And that’s exactly what he did. 

When Taryn was walking to her car, the ghost stopped her halfway in the parking lot. 

“Hey - Hey Taryn, would you like to go eat lunch with us?” You could hear the nerves in his voice.

 Then he motioned to his friends by the Bomb’s car. Jude looked and waved. 

“Did Jude put you up to this?” Taryn asked looking at Jude then back into his hazel eyes. 

“Umm no not really. I’ve wanted to ask you but you were with…. and then I didn’t have the nerve to ask you after so now she is just encouraging me.” Well that is not where he wanted this to go.

But his fears finally vanished when she touched his upper arm and said, “Yes, Garret, I would be delighted then to eat lunch with you.”

They all had a really good time. Ghost had the biggest smile on his face and the rest of the gang didn’t miss it. They knew he was beyond happy. Unfortunately Jude’s happiness came to an end when she looked at the time and realized she had to go to the Courthouse.

Jude gets to the courthouse and she sees her lawyer. They set her down up front. About five minutes later, Valerian, a police officer, and his lawyer walk in and sit on the other side of her. 

Valerian is in handcuffs, and is wearing the ugliest orange jumpsuit. He looks mad, really mad. He is giving her a stare of pure death, but Jude gives him the purest smile, trying to hide all the nervousness she is feeling.  

The judge starts with why he is here and goes over the details that she has read upon. They then asked Jude to come up front and sit, and tell her part. She shows them the pictures of what valerian had done. 

Valerian lawyer tries to downplay everything. The lawyer knew he would be serving time, but he was trying to lessen it.

Unfortunately for Valerian, fortunately for Jude, his lawyer wasn’t good enough. Or Jude’s lawyer was just too good because the judge went over the information again and she proceeded to give Valerian his sentence. 

“You are guilty.” 

Valerian would be spending the next couple of years in prison for sexual abuse, and physical abuse. Jude was happy. Happy that she didn’t  have to see that face for a long time. Maybe prison would change him. 

She gets back to her dorm and it is about 5 o’clock in the afternoon. She calls Cardan and tells him everything. Cardan is proud of her. Proud that she put her foot down. Proud that she went through with the whole ordeal. Proud that she won. 

Next Chapter

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________________

I hope you enjoyed!! The next chapter I will be revealing something BIG!!!

Taglist:

@newwifeyy | @aelin-queen-of-terrasen | @afexiss | @mi-mavencalories | @roseygirl25 | @spideygirlstuff | @deargreenbriar | @b00kworm | 

[icharchivist]

Thank you for taking the time to reply to my ask! 😊

Now... How much, out of 10, are you of each summer troupe member?

I hope you also find this a fun ask to answer!

ahah sure <3 thanks for sending them and well, indulging in my answers!

i do find it fun to answer it's just that i worry my justifications may be too much infos ahah

anyway for summer...

for the vague notes: Tenma: 1/10, Yuki: 4/10, Muku: 7/10 Misumi: 2/10, Kazunari: 8/10, Kumon: 3/10

under the cut for more justification (again which are infos about me so go in with caution)

if we don't see again under the cut, now i say, take care! :3c

(Links: Spring, Summer, Autumn , Winter ranking)

Tenma: 1/10. I don't. think i actually relate to Tenma all that much dKLJFDLFK I think all i can really relate to is that he loves his friends even if he doesn't really know how to show it at times. I adore him but i really don't know if i have anything in common with him DLKJFDKLF

Yuki: 4/10. Yuki's interesting to me because i was a lot like him when i was his age, actually, but i'm so different now that i can't say i relate to him as much, but i still see my younger self in him? When i was his age i was really rejected by my peers for a lot, lot of reasons, one of them being the way i decided to dress (though it was not like. the worst reason. i think?). Early teen i was a recluse but at 14, i developed thick skin and would snap back at people pretty easily, i would try to stand out proud about who i was, that doing stuff i enjoy is worth going through this sort of humiliation. There is a lot about Yuki's defense mechanisms, from his sass to the way he tries to keep people at armlength, that brings me back to middle school. He's healthily growing past that in a way i don't as much relate to (took different path and all) but it makes me happy to see him grow and feel safer. So it's a weird one to answer to ahah, when i was 14 i'd say i would have given him maybe a 7/10? but nowadays maybe just a 2/10 just because now i dress very cutesyly and always wear dress and stuff, or the fact i don't feel interested in being in romantic situation myself. i'll make it round at 4/10 for that.

Muku: 7/10 Oh, to be an anxious romantic with passions for lovestories and blaming yourself for everything you ever do because you MUST be doing something wrong. I feel that. I relate more with Muku now that i did when i was his age for instance ahah but yeah that'd be the gist of it. Also relating to his habit to get lost in his own fantasy world, in unrealistic scenarios, wanting to be something you can't realistically be. I do relate to how much he loves lovestories though (like i just mentioned tho i just. don't like the idea of being in one irl. so i really love stories much more about it where i can explore all of this in a safe way with no engagement ahah) But for various reasons (from his athletics to the confidence boost he can get) i can only give him that much point LDKJF

Misumi: 2/10 Misumi's complicated to discuss for me DKJFDFLK but as for what i relate about, some elements about his family life hit ways too close from home and i don't like thinking about it too hard, it's too real dLFKJDFLK. Other than that one of the major thing i can relate with for Misumi is the way he's genuinely taken aback when people say they care about him and his health because he's not used to his family doing that for him, and that he's been really lonely because he's been considered "weird". While not to the same extend though i do understand the happiness of seeing stuff you care about somewhere (though for me it may be plushies kjfdhdf) but really not to his extends

Kazunari: 8/10 oh yeah we're in it now he's one of the first chara i actually projected on hard (because i didn't think about whenever i related to spring charas before and he was before the slaps in the face). Anyway i too, am a massive people pleaser who don't really know how to voice my own opinions on stuff when it's not too important. I'm indecisive as hell when i don't have a strong opinion about something and i will generally just be trying to go with the flow. I've been trying to work on that those past few years and be a little more assertive, but so i can also relate to how Kazu tries to push himself out of this comfort zone in later plotpoints. As much as i think i'm more assertive now it's a constant work and it's not always linar. I don't like upsetting people, i'm extremely conflict avoidant, and i always feel like i have a responsibility to keep up a cheerful Face. I was a very quiet kid then a very quiet teen and i didn't have much friends then, until about high school, where i was finally in good surrounding at school and made a lot of friends, though i do keep my friends at a distance in general and wouldn't say i form. very deep relationships. so like him. though different reasons why. When i was in high school i was so much more loud and i faked a lot of confidence i didn't have and pretending to be always happy and unbothered by anything. It completely disappeared after high school though, i'm. so much more calm in general nowadays. anyway, turns out people always complain i'm very loud when i do talk especially if it's something i'm excited about (which is something i'm super insecure about when people points it out but LDKJFLDF ANYWAY). To that i'll just add too that i also pursued art school and art cursus but i stopped because [spoiler alert for why i relate to Kumon]. When Kazu ends up showing his enthusiasm about art it brings me back to back then tbh. Even though i don't do art anymore i'm really appreciative of that in general. Points off because of how social he can be or how he seeks getting into social situations like. Nope. Not for me. But i'm happy for him.

Kumon: 3/10 this kid is too energic he exhausts me just when i see him, so in general i have to keep the number low because. Kid. I can't keep up TwT. That said the two things i'd relate to with Kumon is, first, his geeky side in general which is very cute. A bit like Muku, in the way he lives in his own fantasies, though he's more ashamed than Muku to talk about it and i relate to that too bc i refuse to share what my fantasies are about DLKJFLDKFJ. Second, as i first hinted at, is that i had to give up a lot of what was important to me because of my deteriorating health, more specifically, illnesses related to stress that made themselves.... too dangerous for me to ignore. I gave up art school because a deadly skin sickness i had developed because of stress was eating my right hand (well not just there but it is the biggest problem) and by the end of my first year i couldn't hold a pen anymore. It was only one of the various illness i had manifesting from the stress, but i stubborningly tried to ignore the others and push through and it's just that this one was not ignorable anymore. It crushed my spirit ngl and it was even worse realizing i didn't manage to bounce back - i haven't drawn anything since, and i can't use my hand at my full capacity so i can't do other stuff to bounce back - and i'm stressed about getting stressed and triggering back all those illnesses and so i end up even more stressed and yeah. So when Kumon's fevers hit and it's explicit that it's due to his stress while still being very real and not something he can ease off just by "calming down", and that he can get stressed about his fevers triggering, and Juza talking about how he worries that if Kumon's sickness acts up it might break his spirit, it. hit very very close from home ahah. Tho despite the long entry i don't relate to anything else about Kumon, he's too energic, too athletic, has a good relationship with his family and all that jazz i can't relate to ahah. But yeah this one was. A Painful thing to have to face back dLKFJDF.

So yeah in general i can say that i don't relate as much to Summer as i can relate to for Spring or Winter. I see more of my younger years in them (to some details here and there) so there's also a much bigger distance with what i'd relate to them about.

but yeah that'd about sums it up o7

Take care :3c