#gender and identity are weird

[mamamittens]

Well, I've made minimal progress drawing my weird little alien alter (the face and appendages keep fucking with me, ngl, I really don't draw animals often lol) but I've had fun mentally plotting out a little story to entertain myself at work.

I thought it'd be fun to explore identity, disassociation, and relationships through this funky little dude. Mostly cause several of my earliest OCs are low-key excuses to explore myself cause I'm not very socially aware. I won't say stupid but like, it took 20+ years to even consider that I've never had any real attraction towards someone before in my life.

It's the tism

Anyway! So I was playing around with the concept of what would happen to your sense of self if you were stripped of your previous physical form and given a new one totally alien that didn't change with time. There's no aging. You can't grow into this body. Bond with others over the unique difficulties time gives you as you age.

Any friends you make, it's a real possibility now that they won't be there for anywhere near as long as you are. This clashes with the curse idea I started with but only if I dedicate to naming what it even is to start with. Whatever it is, it definitely isn't working like it was intended to.

And so, to do this for OP, I needed to start sometime before the main story to let this existential horror really sink in. And because I liked the idea of the timing, I figured the island Roger and Whitebeard fight would be a fun meeting point.

First idea was that they (cursed OC) go there recently-ish. Enough to know the island but not establish any super dedicated base. This goes into shenanigans where they steal a weapon to reach their only remaining human clothing item from a branch that it caught on when they fell into the verse. Naturally talking to the blade and promising to leave fruit as an apology for taking it. Maybe with an audience of a very amused owner.

The second idea is that they've been there for a very long time. The WBP and Roger pirates fight taking place just around the time their only human companion has passed, leaving them bereaved and alone. Extra sad points here. Maybe they lived together for several decades in a cabin and now it's so empty the prospect of leaving it behind feels as necessary as it is upsetting.

The third is even worse, the fight taking place several years after their friend's passing and with the lack of human company they've sort of devolved into something closer to an animal than a person. So much so that they have trouble talking for a while after suddenly being prompted to speak up. Initial idea is that Buggy is eaten by a giant frog and is saved but they tell him "wash. No hurt, wash" when they mean to say "you need to wash off the stomach acid or get 3rd degree burns in under an hour". Eventually leading the two captains to the abandoned house for tea but finding all the supplies for it having gone bad for some time.

Naturally, regardless of which one I go with, the custody battle is epic. Though I'm leaning with the third, ngl

Kiwi (their name for now, it's just my baby nickname lol) either goes with the WBP or Roger. If it's Roger the split goes badly and Kiwi ends up half feral again having been aggressively on the run to draw attention away from Shanks and Buggy. It's a few years before they're found again.

I'm leaning on the size thing being connected with state of mind. Like, vulnerable and afraid is the smol bean version. Feral is either the middle 'grown' version or full space dragon depending on how bad it is. Wholly aware and in control is usually smol bean but when talking to people 'on their level' or super comfortable, it's the grown version. So this fighting ring is a very feral, growly grown version with cat pupils.

I had a really horrible and sweet idea that Kiwi ends up in a fighting ring and nearly guts the newly appointed commander Thatch (like I could resist, who do you think I am???) Before noticing his jolly Roger tattoo.

"...friend?" And feels really bad about injuring him. He's confused but rolls with it, busting them out and is delighted to discover that Kiwi is in fact, an old friend of his captain. The rehabilitation is easier this time cause it hasn't been quite so long since Kiwi talked to people and didn't just exist in a fugue state.

Kiwi keeps more animalistic traits such as climbing people, chirping, purring, grooming, and expressive ears/tail body language. Maybe some face rubbing. You know. Like a cat lol

Not sure how human form comes about. But it'd be funny if they admit they miss certain aspects regardless of form. Like having four arms and finding clothes that fit without messing up thick fur.

[femmeloverboy]

You should support, love, celebrate, and uplift trans men's manhood and/or masculinity more than you hate [cis] men. Btw.

[femme-ftm]

real trans men who get gender euphoria from treating me like a fakeboy ❤️ who feminize and misgender me and have me affirm their gender by worshipping them in return ❤️ who always talk about me as their girlfriend and praise me for never trying to correct them or pretend like i was anywhere close to the man they are ❤️ real trans men ❤️❤️❤️

[mentallycoinsane]

🦝 — i cant live with what you've done. 🪦

new term and flag : introducing ... OBSCURIUSGENDER!

meaning : where ones current gender is too obscure for the mind to understand. one can identify as the word obscure, be obscure or have anything related to obscurity (or even just like the term) to be obscuriusgender

color meaning : the dark colors contrasting with the lighter colors showcase "weirdness" or obscurity . the spiral in the middle stands for being obscure

pronouns : obs/cure , obscure/obscures , weird/weirds , obscurius/obscuri , doubt/doubts , confu/sed , diffi/cult , difficult/difficults , spiral/spirals

xtra : pleasepleasepleaseplease promo my blog PLEASEEE reblog me it helps alot!! @radiomogai @mogaimagic @liom-archive dm me if you wanna be put off blehh

[mamawasatesttube]

hmmm... halfbaked thought percolating in my mind but i gotta say. sometimes i do get kinda skeeved out when people do genderfluid tim wrt timkon while leaving kon as just a generic cis guy. like obviously i love timkon and i love trans tims!!! but sometimes i just go are we sure we're not just slapping on a trans label in order to put the shorter, physically weaker, (and often drawn paler) guy in a dress so he can be The Girl in the relationship? like are we sure this is actually about being trans and not just about gender roles again? and like obviously i cant say every single genderfluid tim wrt timkon post is doing this specifically but it does sometimes make me go eeehhhh... (a lot of the way fandom treats trans guys in general as women lite™ is this same way tbh.) sigh...

[beebfreeb]

Little things about Marcille make me so so so sick. Reading a book with the first character that's anything like you at all in even a somewhat respectable way and falling in love. She doesn't know anything about the food her mother grew up eating. She is subtly different from her peers and has never been sure where she fits in. AND despite those experiences she still falls victim to prejudiced thinking. She and Kabru should be besties who verbally fight like rabid dogs.

[lovelyrotter]

ill probably delete this in a minute but ive just been fuckin boggled by what ive seen across tumblr in the last few days in particular. its why i havent really been around. like holy fucking shit, its really like some of yall just dont want a chunk of the trans community to exist. like some of yall are thisclose to saying it verbatum. way too many already have. 'shut up sit down be quiet and smile for us' type shit, gee where have i heard that before. oh yeah my entire life cause i was forcefully gendered as someones daughter. shock horror i know. you might be surprised to remember and/or learn that very few trans folks know theyre trans before we're 5, or even 10, and that that gendered experience stays with all of us in both/either small or large ways. either bc we literally dont have a solid identity yet (bc we're very small children), dont have the words, we're repressing it out of fear from how others will treat us, we're actually enjoying or enjoyed being another gender in our childhood, or we just genuinely didnt fuckin know until shit lined up later in life. weird isnt it that transmascs dont pop out as 6'1 brick shithouse cis men when we're born so yall know for certain that we're confused lost girls/women oops i mean big dangerous scary men. its almost like we're transgender too. none of yall actually know what intersectionality is or means

[transformersconfessions]

I’ll never not be bothered that the most diverse TF show, Earthspark, seemed to be turned on by all the biggest and most well-known activists in the fandom… who like or have grace for things like IDW, TFP, and TF One. And the reasons these people hate Earthspark make zero sense at all, but it’s impossible to argue because I saw them harass people and send their big fanbases after people. I remember when one big-name fan engaged in harassing a Black woman for thinking Earthspark was good and that people should support the show? I’m still angry about this today. I’m sorry, but if you characters like the IDW or TFP Decepticons but do this it’s just embarrassing!

PSA you can dislike a show without claiming a show obviously pro-immigration is secretly anti-immigration or that a show that has heroes who are abuse victims in it is secretly vilifying abuse victims.

*

[shallowseeker]

the way that even in early usa, extended families often lived together or within walking distance

the idea that each nuclear family should have its own house, own appliances, own everything and that adult children should move out at 18 is a relatively recent post-WWII, suburbanization-era invention

and it just so happens to be highly profitable

[nattitopher]

welcome to the instability of gender

I am a trans woman. I am all genders as I am no genders and therefore you are gay. I hate being stuck being seen as one way. I want to be a man sometimes. Be an andro. Be made into whatever gender makes it gayer. Have my gender set by someone else.

and because of that I have been alone. There isn’t even a force masc community on reddit. Let alone a space for a trans woman to be a man. I get told I’m fetishizing trans masculine people. But I fucking do it because I am trans masculine. I have a feminine body I assigned myself. And its my prefered default form. But some days I want to shift into a different form. Some days I want to bind my chest. Paint on some facial hair. Wear the clothes I used to. Get a manly kilt. Kiss a man in a gay way. Kiss a girl in a straight way. Be convinced to go a week off of estrogen. Because being a girl forever is wrong to me. mostly I am but i crave variety. Gender is a costume and I like others to dress me.

also, please stop it if you want to ask if I’m a detransitioner. I’m a fucking infinitely transitioning shapeshifter that will never stop transitioning. Edit: This was a bit harsh towards detransitioners, I've learned alot, y'all are cool. I dip my toes into detransition at times but more so I just want to always transition over and over.

fascists and terfs and binary essentialists will be blocked

Critical posts:

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

Editor’s note: This hypothetically open letter was originally posted by its anonymous author on Medium and was rapidly removed as “hate speech.” We found it to be a refreshing dose of honesty, a charming and relatable open letter from one parent to other parents (not to the child, obviously!) about dealing with a challenging and dangerous moment in raising children, especially “weird” adolescents who search for their identities harder than others and risk making life-damaging mistakes in a way never before possible. We are reposting it here on New Discourses with the permission of the author.

--

By: Donna M.

Published: Mar 5, 2021

My dear, sweet, son,

I’ve got to break it to you: you’re not trans, you’re just weird.

This seems like a cruel thing to point out right now. Clearly, you are struggling and feeling pretty awful about things. I can see that you are in a rough patch, and one of the first rules of parenting is to not pile on. The world is pretty heavy on your shoulders. You’re fifteen. There’s a pandemic going on. But here I come anyway. I’m about to throw more on you.

When you were two ­– a happy, chubby, little tyke in pull-ups, you watched the world with wary eyes behind the thumb in your mouth. You leapt with joy in the rhythm of the toddle music classes. You chattered and shared stories about your stuffed animals. You loved your little sister. Enjoyed cookies and finger painting. That was all pretty normal.

But you also started to count to one thousand on our walks. And you started to call out the store names as we drove around. And you preferred reading books rather than playing with the other two-year-olds at preschool. And you hated sitting in the circle when instructed. And you hated the feel of blue jeans. And you threw big tantrums when you lost any kind of game. In other words, you started to show signs that you were… weird.

The grandparents were the first to notice. They said gentle things like “You oughta keep an eye on that one,” and sent us links to Wall Street Journal articles about child prodigies. And then the other parents in the play groups started to comment; “He’s pretty intense, huh?” And the teachers were on to it pretty quickly. They started to use fancy terms like “asynchronous development.”

By third grade, we realized you were different, but we still didn’t realize you were weird. Truthfully, we’re used to people like you. Our family is full of engineers, artists, musicians, computer programmers, and a lot of “free-thinkers.” Family gatherings always have chess, political debates, and quartets around the piano. That’s just us.

And besides, you had a small but solid group of friends. There was Pokémon, then Minecraft, then Magic, then Dungeons and Dragons, then Catan. You were never in the center of things, but you weren’t alone.

But then, in middle school, things started to change. By 7th grade, school finally started to require some effort, and it turned out you were pretty disorganized. People kept calling you smart, but the teachers were annoyed at your humor, and frustrated that you wouldn’t or couldn’t follow the guidelines for assignments. Classmates didn’t appreciate your frank (if accurate) descriptions of their efforts. I’ll admit, we got pretty frustrated with you, too.

And then puberty arrived, with its triple curse of acne, braces, and bizarre growth. The girls appeared to have it all together (I know they don’t, but they do appear that way). And the popular boys seemed to know exactly what to do. They can talk sports to each other, they brag about their romantic exploits. They never get in trouble for stupid reasons like forgetting an assignment three times in a row. Your anxiety started to kick in, and it seemed like you got smaller. And some of your guy friends moved on.

So you drifted over to the weird-o crowd. Well — I’m not sure what you call yourselves, but that’s what we would have called you back when I was in school. At different schools these are the geeks, or the theater kids, the math team kids, or the artsy-fartsy kids. This used to be where the gay kids ended up, but I think they’re more dispersed now. You get some kids whose parents are going through some rough times. Some girls with anorexia. A few boys who are edgy and angry. Kids with a great sense of humor and big hearts.

And some of these kids are really passionate. Just full of righteous anger about the injustices of the world. And some of them are dramatic. And truthfully, that looks pretty attractive to you. Because you share some of that confusion and anger about the world. And though you may not be sure what you think or what you feel, you are certain you don’t want to be on the bad side. You certainly aren’t like those popular boys with their suave charm and dominating manners. You’re not like them at all.

You’re actually more like those vibrant girls who can speak for hours about their ideas. Well, you would be if you could find the words to speak. And there is something so fascinating about those girls, but you can’t quite put your finger on it. You’d never think about talking to those girls anyway, because that’d be weird. Because you are weird. You’ve never been good at chit-chat, or eye contact. Or girls. And besides, you wouldn’t want them to get the wrong impression. You understand that your peers are starting to date, but you really don’t see the point. Sex is still gross and weird to you. It’s better to just call yourself “asexual” or “pansexual.” It’s like a get-out-of-jail-free card that helps you avoid the whole mess. And your group of friends tell you that you are super cool and brave for being able to say that about yourself.

But you’ve fallen into a funk. Anyone can see that. But computer games help. And there’s always trying to beat the speed record for that one game you’re kinda good at. And that one guy on reddit always has good tricks. And the people on that message board seem to get your humor.

So when one of them posts a meme about trans rights, it makes sense that you’d check it out. You’re curious! You’re a free thinker! You’re not like the normies. And the web quiz hits home. You do feel discomfort with your body. You don’t like sports. You do wonder what it would be like to be a girl. You’ve always felt like something was different about you.

You’re right. There is something different about you.

But you’re not trans, you’re just weird.

So we’re right here for you. We’ll always be here for you. But those online folks who urge you to “crack your trans egg” and rush to hormones and surgeries don’t know you at all. They don’t know that gifted kids and ADHD kids and Autism kids and Asperger’s kids are slower to develop emotionally and sexually. They don’t know that sexuality takes time and experience to figure out, and that the majority of trans teens seeking medical treatment haven’t even masturbated or kissed someone yet. They don’t know that 80% of trans children end up becoming comfortable with their birth sex if you just give them time. They don’t know that there are increasing numbers of desisting and de-transitioning people in their twenties. They don’t realize that hormones permanently stunt your growth, decrease your IQ, and can cause sterility. They don’t know that these hormones are prescribed off-label and there’s no research on the long-term outcomes. They don’t even know that the most recent research shows that short-term outcomes are clearly worse.

They don’t realize that you’re weird. But I do. You’re weird, kiddo. You’ll figure that out in a year or two. But that’s okay. We are all weird. And I love you anyway. You’re going to be just fine.

==

You always hear stories and justifications like, "she never liked wearing a dress," or "he always hated having his hair cut." This is post-hoc confirmation bias. Not only does this confirm everything critics say about this being a movement based on gross stereotypes, but they always leave out things like, "she refused to eat anything yellow," and "he was obsessed with elevator and crossing buttons and would cry if he wasn't the one to light it up."

It's okay to be weird.

[viktheviking1]

Reasons I've never been Cis

Part One

1. I liked that Wubbzy from Wow! Wow! Wubbzy was a boy with a high pitch voice. Androgenous icon.

2. I was disappointed when I found out that Blue from Blue's Clues was a girl. I didn't know why. But I think it's because that made it a "girl thing" in my head and I didn't want to like girl things

3. I was obsessed with the texture of my dad's beard scruff

4. I stopped shaving because of "feminism?"

[purefuckingthoughts]

it's wild to me that so many people are fine with someone building their life and personality around their gender and gender identity until someone does it the "wrong" way

like a cis man can be ultra manly and do everything in an exclusively masculine way, and be praised for it or deemed normal

a cis woman can be super femme pretty in pink girly girl and she's valid for that

but someone talks about being nonbinary or a binary trans person and is proud of their gender presentation and suddenly they're "shoving it down people's throats" and "being too much"? what's the deal with that?

[carnage-cathedral]

genuinely though. normalize not sharing your agab with the internet because it actually is no one's business and should not actually affect the way people see you or treat you

[fayevalcntine]

Positioning Louis as the "Edwardian wife who becomes trapped by her husband" in a literal sense does no justice to analyzing his actual place and role as a Black man in his society and in his relationship with Lestat. Any interpretation or analysis you do of him when it comes to their relationship cannot be stripped of the racial aspect because it's constantly there. Texts analyzing Edwardian wives (and particularly ones this fandom loves to bring up) typically were white and the dissection of their place in societal rules are always viewed from the aspect of gender that is within these texts only allowed to white women, but never to Black men or even Black women. And gender and race become inseparable when you discuss the latter, no matter how people may view it.

This is why I can't take this approach to analyzing Louis' story seriously because if you don't consider the racial aspect in his relationship even to himself and his sexuality, what's the point? You're still centering the standards that were more placed upon white male/female couples than you're willing to look into the unique structure of Black families, religion, their view of homosexuality and how that sooner heavily influences Louis than the family's "need" for him to be sold off to an Edwardian husband. Even in Louis' own story, him and Claudia being Black is more centered on than any demeaning "housewife" comment he tries to go against from Claudia's perspective. She makes that comment once, whereas we have at least two episodes from Louis' perspective that have very blatant hints and showings of the racism he still suffers from under the Jim Crow era and how it affects his self-worth as well as his relationship with Lestat who doesn't seem to take into consideration how any of the blatant racial aggressions and objections still affect Louis and what he considers to be important to achieve in his own life.

Then there's also the pointed topic of Louis' position as a Black man who is a pimp to the Black women he has as sex workers, as well as how his position as a Black father affects Claudia, another Black girl. If you insist on Louis being centered as this "Edwardian white wife" who is confined by his implicit gender in his marriage, where does that leave Claudia and the blatant misogyny and disrespect she gets from both him and Lestat? Lestat who is her white father abuses her. Positioning Louis within the strict confines of "being her mother" doesn't do her any favors because he didn't hesitate to choke her when he was deeply emotionally distressed, nor does it make him look any better when he's fine with chopping up her diaries and then delivering them on a silver platter so that Daniel, another white man, can read and dissect. Even if he does this under the sole pretense of "doing right by her", how does it in any way help when he also can't face up to his failures towards her?

[daydark4k]

thinking about how tied queer and autistic experiences are. queerness by definition is something or someone strange or odd, which is obviously something autistic people are used to being viewed as by allistic people. and so many of my experiences are caused by a connection of my strangeness through being a lesbian, by being transgender and nonbinary, and by being autistic. i think thats why despite my own narrower labels that define me, ill also still always identify as queer because i feel like it perfectly encapsulates who i exist as. like yes i am weird, i am strange and i don't exist in the traditional sense that people expect me to. i am queer, not only because of my gender identity or who i am attracted to, but because of my strange existence in a world that expects and hammers in normalcy that will never fit inside my body. even if i was cishet i would still be considered weird because of my autism and thats a solidarity that is not only there due to a large overlap in queer and autistic identities, but because we are both used to being forced into a box of societal norms that will never work on us