#gender neutral ways to address people

[acornered]

i've never met a non-binary person before but if they were hypothetically my sibling? Would I call them my brother/ sister? Or does it depend on what they want to be called? (i'm so sry if this comes out as rude)

Not rude at all anon! My sister calls me her sibling/sibbean which is my personal preference, but every non-binary person has a different relationship to gendered terms, so I'd say it really does depend on the individual. Also it is very likely that you have met non-binary people before and just didn't know it!

[stillgeekingout]

something I have noticed spending more time in queer activism spaces:

people have made the effort to say "folks" as a replacement for "guys"/"ladies and gentlemen"/etc.

this leads to "folks" being a natural part of their vocabulary

this leads to people saying "folks" as a replacement for "people"

which is very funny to me. like. "we have [x accommodation] for folks who might need that" isn't THAT weird of a sentence I guess and I can't think of a more clunky example but I have heard "folks" used so many times when I'm like... you could've just said "people". "people" would've been a perfectly functional and gender neutral word in that sentence.

I've also heard it used to replace "anyone/everyone" for example "we have some lemonade if folks want to grab that" like??? there's nothing Wrong with it but Why. we already have perfectly fine gender neutral ways to say this.

[three-moving]

there is almost nothing that makes me happier than my manager starting a message to the work group chat with “hello party people”

[flowers-that-sing]

how come when a cis guy dresses fem ppl will still recognize him as a guy but when i, a trans guy, dress fem, ppl go "ah so youre NOT trans" or think it means i am "actually" a girl.

no. i am just a femboy. that is all.

[gardenstateofmind]

it's sort of instinctual to use pet names because you are taking on a care taker role, it's not that i see my full grown adult patients the same way i see children or pets, it's that i am stepping into the same role i play when i take care of others, which has been based around caring for children and animals.

idk it's a weird thing bc everyone feels different about it, like personally i do not at all mind being called pet names, and i think a lot of people respond better to it, bc being super formal makes them feel like the staff don't care. but it's so easy to use it wrongly that it's safest to just stick to mr. / mrs. / ms. (which still makes me feel weird bc i personally hate those labels)

[obsessivevoidkitten]

The Invasion

Cat Man Alien Yandere x Gender Neutral Reader

CW: Painful noncon, reader gets smacked, biting, collaring, owner/pet, pet reader, reader tied up, reader is an idiot, alien invasion, shapeshifting, general yandere behavior

Word Count: 1.2k

(Popped into my head, finished at 2-3am this morning, hope you all like it. Please leave comments and consider tipping to support the senior's bake sale, I love you all <3)

Twiggy was a rescue. He had been brought into the animal shelter you worked at and was pretty injured. Once he was nursed back to health, you immediately adopted him.

He was a bit standoffish, even by cat standards, but he slowly seemed to tolerate you. Then, almost actually like you. It's like he would enjoy affection and then catch himself and hiss before running off.

Even though you made sure never to let him outside, he always seemed to get out anyway, mostly in the dead of night. 

In an effort to discover just how he was escaping, you set up cameras. But they always ended up knocked down or broken before catching anything. Then you put a cat cam on him, but every night, he would fling it off after you went to sleep.

You had enough. It was getting creepy. You decided you would follow him. He never tried to leave while you were awake, though, so you had to pretend to sleep. 

The sound of the door could very faintly be heard closing, so you got up silently and slunk into the living room.

Astonished, you looked at the door. It had been unlocked, and Twiggy was missing. He had somehow figured out how to open doors. It wasn't entirely unheard of for a cat to manage a door handle, but the lock?

You quietly left the building and saw Twiggy moving with purpose down the road.

After a while, you thought yourself stupid. He was just going to do random cat stuff. Why were you following him? He probably just smelled something that gripped his attention.

But as he kept going through various alleys and back roads, a few other cats joined him without any reaction from him. They proceeded in orderly and determined fashion right into the old abandoned factory. 

You followed and had to hold back a gasp at what you saw. Down in the basement level was Twiggy standing on a pile of scrap with dozens of other cats gathering below him.

It was some sort of cat cult. 

But if you thought that was shocking, you hadn't seen anything yet. Suddenly, Twiggy effortlessly shifted into a nude man with curly brown hair, a tail, and cat ears on his head.

After he transformed, all the others did the same. The room was filled with naked men and women with tails and cat ears. This was getting too weird. The best course of action now was to make a silent retreat.

As you began to back away, Twiggy pointed in your direction and stated something you were too far to really hear.

In a flash, the cat people were upon you, dragging you over to Twiggy and forcing you to kneel before him before they tied you up and gagged you so you couldn't speak. 

He addressed the others without sparing a glance at you. 

"I infiltrated this human's place of employment and then their home." 

He stroked your hair in a manner similar to the way you would pet him in his cat form. 

"I have learned that we can use their workplace as a front and get adopted as their pets. We will use this method to infiltrate every home before taking over and turning humans into OUR pets!"

Twiggy turned to an androgynous looking cat person.

"River, I need you to take the form of this human and work at the shelter as we discussed at the last meeting. Come over tomorrow to my human's house, and I'll give you the schedule."

River nodded in affirmation.

After that, the meeting came to an end, and Twiggy dismissed the others. He pulled the gag off of you and allowed you to speak.

"Twiggy, w-what's go-"

The cat man smacked you harshly. It left an echo resounding through the large empty room. 

"That's a gross pet name. My real name is Declan."

You whimpered and then flinched when he pet the spot he had smacked gingerly. 

"Sorry, I shouldn't have hurt you, you didn't know… You probably have lots of questions."

Of course, you had questions. And Twig- Declan… answered every one of them patiently. 

He explained that the cat people were aliens who just happened to have a form that looked like a common earth house pet. They could also look like any human they wanted, though they had to hide their feline features. He was the leader. And now that you were aware of everything, you got to be the first pet. His personal one. He promised to treat you well.

After the Q&A, he put on some clothes he had and took you back to what was no longer your house. He put your gag back in so you couldn't scream on the way.

True to his word, he treated you like a precious pampered pet, since you had helped heal him and took such good care of him. He even gave you a jeweled collar for you to wear as proof he owned and cared for you.

Though he had started to care about you in ways that he probably shouldn't have.

But after a while, he couldn't help it anymore. One night when your head was laying on his lap while the two of you watched a show he liked, something he forced you to do as he stroked your arm and side, his cock stirred under your head, and he had to give in.

He stripped you of all your clothes; you struggled and protested, but his strong, lean body easily overpowered your own.

He pulled off your collar and bit your neck hard to get you to submit as he mounted you, before shoving his cock in you deeply all at once with no preparation. 

The cat man fucked into you ferally, going off pure instinct, pushing your head into the couch cushion so no one could hear your screams.

You were sure you were going to die, that you were going to be split apart by his girthy cock, that the last things you would hear were your muffled screams, the sound of his nuts slamming into you, and his animalistic growls.

Declan's cock pistoned in and out roughly as tears streamed down your face. You felt a sense of shame as he forced you to orgasm despite the cruelty of the way he was violating you.

It wasn't enough that he took your house, job, and way of life and eventually would take your planet, but now he was claiming your insides with his throbbing cock as well.

He came in you roughly and finally seemed to gradually come back to his senses. He licked away your tears and the blood and cum that were mingled and leaking from your hole.

"I'm so sorry, I just couldn't help myself! I'll be more gentle and use lube next time, okay?"

The cat man comforted you as best he could, bathing you as you sobbed. He sincerely regretted hurting you, but he couldn't deny his instincts and really needed some release. Going forward, he decided you would be his mate as well as his pet, so he didn't go wild with pent-up emotions again. 

[pomefioredove]

HIII I SAW THE FLIRTY PROMPTS EVENTS AND RAN HAHA

Can I please get "You're a shy little thing, aren't you?" with Rook please???? 🙏🙏🫠🫠🤍

anon this one is PERFECT omg screaming...

summary: "you're a shy little thing, aren't you?" type of post: short fic characters: rook additional info: romantic(?), reader is gender neutral, reader is not specified to be yuu, Rook being a little freak, shamelessly flirty, not proofread a part of this event

There's that feeling again.

Your heart rate picking up, muscles tensing, adrenaline urging you to find somewhere to run, a quiet corner to lurk until those eyes you feel on the back of your neck have turned away...

You're surrounded by people, but even the crowd isn't enough to hide you.

For so many years, you hadn't been noticed at all. An unsaved seat, a forgotten name, a dull, drooping wallflower with nowhere to root. Ignored and undesired, nothing more than a piece of furniture in everyone else's lives.

You had long come to accept that it's just how things are, even here.

And, so, the feeling of being watched is wholly unfamiliar.

You slip out of the midday crowd and into a quiet corridor. Your worst fear, really, is that whoever's keeping their eye on you is picking you apart at the seams, analyzing your every flaw...

As if being quiet didn't make you enough of a target...

"Ah, there you are! I thought I lost you,"

You nearly jump. For a moment, you're tempted to look around the vacant corridor for someone hiding in the shadows, because, surely, that voice isn't addressing you.

The boy at the other end of the hall tilts his head. "Ah, do not be frightened! I was only worried you had been swallowed by the crowd,"

You blink.

"...Me?"

"Oui," he responds, putting his hands on his hips. "You are such a tiny thing, I could not let any harm befall you under my watch."

There's something rather unsettling about his gaze. Familiar, even.

"Tiny?" you scoff at the description. "...Who are you, anyway?"

His smile is just as uneasy. Too eager, you think. "Je suis désolée, how rude, I have not introduced myself yet. Where are my manners?" he scolds himself, taking a step forward.

"Rook Hunt."

No, not familiar at all. You've never seen this man in your life, even if there's something about his gaze that strikes a chord with you.

You give your name in return, to which he hums.

"You are quite the interesting creature, you know."

Creature? You give him a sour look, and he chuckles.

"I mean it in the loveliest way. Like a flower which takes a century to bloom, or a comet one might see but once in their lifetime,"

He speaks enthusiastically, and thus fast, leaving you dizzy with metaphors and imagery.

"...Is that a compliment?"

A small smile graces his lips, and he leans forward. "Would you like it to be?"

Full of surprises. You instinctively lean back, further away from those piercing eyes.

He hums again, eyes shining with amusement. "Ah, ah, have I embarrassed you? My apologies,"

"I'm fine," you lie, and leave it at that. You can't seem to come up with a good excuse, and your face feels warm.

Rook tuts, circling around you like a predator surveying its prey.

"...There is no shame in being flattered, chérie. Though I would gladly embarrass you all day just to see that lovely look on your face again,"

You watch him carefully, though avoid eye contact as he stops, eventually, standing in front of you again with a little smile.

"It is a shame you hide yourself, even now. Your beauty should be appreciated," he says. "...Though, I admit, I find the idea of keeping it all to myself rather tempting."

He's going to give you a heart attack, you think. You can feel the embarrassment swelling in your chest, making your heart beat a little faster and averting your gaze to the ground.

He chuckles. "You're a shy little thing, aren't you?"

"I..." you cough awkwardly, eyes fixed on the floor tiles. "...Don't get complimented often."

Rook places a hand over his heart, as if offended by the very thought. "Non? What a cruel world we live in, where such beauty goes unnoticed! The very notion wounds me!"

"Well, then..." he says, getting down on one knee and taking your hand in his, kissing each of your knuckles.

"...Let me make up for it, chérie."

[yazmarina]

not just a figure of speech (you got me down on my knees)

paul aron (f2) x gender neutral!reader

flirting with your teammate seemed a good enough idea, until a not-so-good qualifying tears down every ounce of restraint from your body.

warnings/notes: smut, friends to ???, oral sex, semi-public sex, lots of flirting

a/n: anj stop using lyrics as titles challenge failed. a short and sweet one in honor of our barcelona pole sitter! enjoy <3

"You're here early."

You look up from the monitor in front of you to see Paul walking into the Hitech tent, an easy smile on his lips. He takes the seat in front of you, gently nudging your foot under the table.

"Only because I wanted to see you as soon as I could," you respond. A grin makes its way to your face at the way Paul's cheeks immediately redden.

"Good one," Paul commends, nodding as he avoids your eyes.

"What? You're not happy to see me?" You ask, leaning over the table, peering closer at Paul.

Paul meets your gaze and you can see that the red tinge has reached down to his neck. You giggle, your own stomach bursting into butterflies as his eyes scan over your face.

"I'm always happy to see you, ________," Paul says, reaching over to pinch your cheek.

You lean into his touch, laying the entire side of your face against his hand. He briefly runs his thumb over your cheek, retracting his arm just as quick. You straighten in your seat, clearing your throat.

The engineers and strategists around you don't even bat an eye at the exchange, or even if they had noticed, they've grown too accustomed to your and Paul's teasing, a habit both of you picked up towards the start of the season as a way to get around the awkward tension you two had as new teammates.

You'd tell him he looked handsome as he entered the room and he'd blush and return the compliment. You'd always follow it up with a hearty laugh, brushing it off as friendly banter whenever someone asked.

It's always been this way. And every time you thought it would go somewhere, when the pause and smile between cheeky compliments gets too long, or when hands wander during hugs, Paul would always turn away, distancing himself from you until you inevitably gravitate back toward each other.

You feel like it's something, something that you should probably talk about with Paul, or at least address. But what would you say? What is this?

"Track walk in ten, guys."

You jolt out of your thoughts, everyone around you already packing up to head to the track. You catch Paul's eyes again and he grins, rising from his seat before holding out a hand to you.

You take it without much thought, eventually snaking your arm around his, grip firm on his bicep. If people didn't know better, they'd think the two of you were stepping out for a date.

"I'm excited," you admit, peering up at Paul as the two of you exit the tent. "The track's great. Aren't you excited?"

Paul nods. "I am. Might be in for a win, finally."

You beam, squeezing his arm. "That's my guy."

You miss the way Paul's eyes practically shimmer as he gazes down at you.

-

"P fucking five," Paul curses under his breath, dropping his helmet with a loud clatter to the floor.

You listen and pause just outside his driver's room, the thin, opaque flap of plastic separating him from the rest of the team tent. You know better than to interrupt a driver in the throes of a bad qualifying result but as a teammate and his friend, you know that Paul would never dare lash out at you even if he was upset.

So you call out to him.

"Paul?"

You flinch back when he pulls back the cover of his room. His hair is disheveled, his eyes somber. Paul's frown softens when he sees you and he immediately widens the opening to his room.

You step in, fidgeting with the sleeves of your fireproof as Paul zips the canvas flap shut.

"I...," you begin, not really sure what to say. Paul avoids your eyes, messing around with some stuff on his massage table but you know he wasn't really doing anything of note.

Maybe it was a mistake to come in at all.

"Can you just...," Paul begins, straightening up, still unable to look directly at you.

You wait patiently for him to formulate his words, your own fingers twisting into the fabric of your race suit.

"I should leave, I'm sorr–"

"...stay here."

You blink, Paul's words registering in your brain half a second late. He finally looks at you, eyebrows creased.

"Don't leave," Paul says. "I said you could stay."

You exhale, finally letting yourself relax. Paul seems to mirror your demeanor because he finally slumps against the massage table, head hanging low as he stares at the floor.

You shuffle uncertainly forward, coming into Paul's line of sight. He's looking at you with this hurt look in his eyes, one you've never seen before. It's jarring, slightly unnerving, the way your teammate is being so vulnerable in front of you right now.

"A lot can be done from P5," you assure Paul. "I'm down in 11th."

"I'll reward you if you get a podium," you continue with a soft laugh, trying to lighten the mood, not really meaning whatever it is you're saying.

Paul raises his eyebrows, a hint of a smile gracing his lips.

"Reward me with what?" he asks, sliding backward to sit on the massage table.

You feel a violent blush settle on your cheeks as your brain finally catches up with your mouth.

"With dinner, Paul. I'll treat you to dinner," you deadpan, rolling your eyes.

Paul chuckles, leaning back on his hands, gaze unwavering as he continues to stare at you.

Your hand flies up to your neck, a nervous habit as you realize just how hard Paul is staring. Clearing your throat, you seem to snap Paul out of his trance, eyes blinking as he refocuses on your face.

"What do you want me to do, then?" You ask, trying to steer the awkwardness away.

Paul gives you a look and squares his jaw, a teasing glint in his eyes.

He jerks his chin inward, prompting you to realize that he's saying, 'Come here'. You swallow, stepping closer, breath hitching as you watch Paul part his legs. Your mouth falls open when it dawns on you just how close he wants you.

His hand reaches out tentatively, fingertips brushing gently against your arm. You let him tug you closer, closer, and closer still, until you're situated between his legs. With him sitting, you're nearly the same height. You can feel his breath on your face. He's within kissing distance.

"I can think of a few things," Paul finally says, his hand dropping from your arm down to your waist.

"Hey," you blurt out. Paul flinches and jerks his hand back, the amusement in his face replaced with genuine worry.

"Only if you want to, of course, I mean I wasn't suggesting anything that's–"

"Paul."

He pauses, eyes wide, as if scared he'd offended you somehow.

You realize that this is it. This is what it all boils down to. All that teasing and tentative touches have come to this.

"The reward only comes after the podium," you remind him.

Paul lets out a relieved laugh, both his hands now snaking around your waist. He holds you firmly in place, tilting his head to the side as if studying every inch of your face.

"A good luck charm, then?"

Your face breaks out into a grin, your own palms creeping up Paul's firm thighs. His bottom lip slips between his teeth as he watches you tug his race suit further down.

"I was thinking a kiss, but if you wanna do that, I'm not gonna stop you," Paul comments, nudging you teasingly.

"Would you prefer a kiss over me blowing you?" You ask, knuckles brushing against Paul's bulge.

Paul shakes his head.

He lifts his hips up for a second, allowing you to pull his suit all the way off, along with his bottom fireproofs and underwear.

You gasp softly as you're met with Paul's length.

"Surprised?" Paul questions, guiding your hand to it. You wrap your fingers around and give an experimental squeeze.

Paul groans, throwing his head back. He stiffens even more in your hold.

"Not at all," you answer, dropping to your knees in one graceful swoop.

"You're just as I imagined," you admit.

You lick a long stripe from the base of Paul's cock to the tip, swirling once over his head before spitting on it. Paul shivers above you, mouth hanging open.

"Fuck," he mutters softly. "You've thought about this?"

"Mhm," you confirm, wrapping your lips around him fully.

You feel a harsh tug at your scalp and you whine as Paul threads and twists his fingers in your hair. You retaliate by sinking lower around him, stopping only when you feel his tip against the back of your throat.

"Holy shit," he whispers, pulling your head back so he could peer into your eyes.

"Make it quick," Paul warns, tightening his hold on your hair even more. "Debrief is starting soon."

You don't have to be told twice as you pull back all the way before sinking forward again. You set up a rhythm, swirling your tongue over the tip every once and again, teeth lightly grazing his length as you come back down.

Paul clamps a hand over his mouth, not trusting himself to keep quiet, not with the way you're kneeling in front of him right now, his dick down your throat. He has a vice grip on your hair, sending your own arousal down between your legs.

You speed up when you hear voices just outside Paul's driver room, aware that a thin piece of plastic is the only thing separating the rest of the team and the image of their two drivers in the middle of a scandalous act.

As if reading your thoughts, Paul snickers, raising his eyebrows as you look up at him.

"They'd freak if they saw you like this," Paul taunts. "The second in the championship blowing the championship lead?"

You pinch Paul's thigh and he curses, laughing breathlessly right after.

"Okay, okay, sorry baby," Paul croons, loosening his grip on your hair.

You pull off him, panting, your hair in a sorry state.

"You've annoyed me now," you warn with a smirk. "You can use your own hand to finish the job."

Paul pouts. "Hey, now. I said I'm sorry."

"I know," you say. "If you can cum in the next two minutes, I'll let you do it inside my mouth."

"Fuck," Paul mutters, his hand already starting to pump along his length.

You snicker, laying your head on Paul's thigh while your palm strokes the other.

"Come on, Paul," you coax sweetly. "I'll give you more later if you can get that podium."

Paul grunts, speeding up even more. He eyes you darkly and you simply smile, digging your nails into the flesh of his thigh.

"Open," is all he says and you obey immediately, straightening up, your tongue sticking out as you anticipate Paul's release.

You yelp as you feel Paul nudge your head forward, his cock sliding into your mouth as it twitches, spurting hot cum straight down your throat. You swallow immediately, gagging slightly when you feel even more landing on your tongue.

You gasp as you pull away, some of the leftover dribbling down your chin. You swipe it off with your thumb, licking it clean, laughing as Paul slumps backward.

"Shit," Paul concludes, chest still heaving from the effort.

You pull yourself up, legs trembling slightly from the strain of kneeling for so long. Paul eyes you as you smooth your hair down, wiping at your face with the back of your hand in case you missed any trace of him.

"No podium, no sex," you remind him, leaning down to leave a kiss on his cheek.

You move to pull away but Paul tugs you back down, your feet stumbling over each other. You start to protest but all words die on your tongue when you feel Paul seal his lips firmly over yours.

"You should have just said that at the beginning of this weekend," Paul jokes, laughing when he feels you smack him on the arm.

-

"Well, would you look at that?"

You chew on your bottom lip to stop yourself from smiling as Paul approaches you, his 1st place trophy tucked under his arm. He glances at it momentarily before looking back at you.

"That's a podium," Paul points out, looking at you expectantly.

You shake your head, but the smile finally breaks loose on your face.

"Room 807. Come by before you go out and celebrate."

Paul snickers, leaning in briefly to kiss your cheek this time.

"Are you kidding? You're coming to celebrate with me," Paul declares over his shoulder, sauntering off.

"Double celebration, baby!"

[croquis-el]

Well, um, hiya☆

I've come to life a little here and brought you some interesting features in the characters' spoken language

To begin with, let's look at the male trio of main characters: Naruhodō, Mitsurugi, Odoroki (Wright, Edgeworth, Justice)

Some people know it, some don't, but in Japanese there are many options for how to refer to yourself, i.e. "I" can be said with different pronouns and they are all ranked by gender (there are also gender-neutral ones) and the level of politeness.

The first one we have is Naruhodō.

He always, regardless of the situation, uses the pronoun "boku" (ぼく) in relation to himself.

僕 (ぼく)

僕 (boku) is a first-person pronoun often associated with male speakers. It has earnest, polite, cultured connotations. Overall, 僕 (boku) has a softer, less aggressive than 俺 (ore), another common pronoun with masculine connotations.

Naruhodō uses it both in the first trilogy, when he is 24-26 years old, and after the 7-year gap, when he is 33-35. It doesn't matter if he is in the courtroom or talking to friends - he always uses "boku".

言わずと知れた、ぼくだ。 若手実力派弁護士として、 今年で3年目に入る。

Iwazu to shireta, bokuda. Wakate jitsuryoku-ha bengoshi to shite, kotoshi de 3-nen menihairu.

It goes without saying that it is me. I am a young and talented lawyer, and this is my third year in the industry.

___________________________________________

ぼく････今、弁護士を 目指して、勉強しているんです。

boku ima, bengoshi o mezashite, benkyō shite iru ndesu.

I'm studying to become a lawyer.

___________________________________________

いいや。ぼくは、 大学は芸術学部だったからね。

Ī ya. Boku wa, daigaku wa geijutsu gakubudattakara ne.

No. I entered the arts department at the university.

___________________________________________

When addressing someone, Naruhodo uses pronoun "omae".

お前 (おまえ)

お前 is a second-person pronoun that's masculine and rough — it's often used for cussing! It could also be a way to show affection to close friends, partners, and family in a very casual manner.

It is curious that he only addresses Mitsurugi this way, while he addresses the others (Mayoi, Odoroki, etc.) by name + suffix (Mayoi-chan, Odoroki-kun).

もしかして、おまえ････ やったんじゃないの?

Moshikashite, omae yatta n janai no?

Maybe you... did it?

___________________________________________

そういうおまえだって、捜査の時は 証拠品をつきつけまくってたとか。

Sōiu omae datte, sōsa no toki wa shōko-hin o tsukitsuke makutteta to ka.

Even you, who is like that, apparently presented a lot of evidence during the investigation.

___________________________________________

おはよう。思ったより早かったねえ ････オドロキくん。

Ohayō. Omottayori hayakatta ne e Odoroki-kun.

Good morning. It was earlier than I thought... Odoroki-kun.

___________________________________________

Next up we have Mitsurugi.

Mr. Politeness uses the pronoun "watashi" when referring to himself.

私 (わたし/わたくし)

わたし (watashi) is quite a common first-person pronoun as it's used regardless of gender, and both in casual and formal situations.It also has a certain elegant, sophisticated feel to it.

It also does not change over time, and is used by him both at 24-26 and at 34-35 years old.

私が異議をとなえれば、裁判長は かならず聞き入れるだろう、と。

Watashi ga igi o tonaereba, saiban-chō wa kanarazu kikiirerudarou, to.

If I raised an objection, the judge would certainly listen.

___________________________________________

私が検事の職をまっとうできるのも、 周りの誰かの支えがあってこそ。

Watashi ga kenji no shoku o mattō dekiru no mo, mawari no dareka no sasae ga atte koso.

It is only thanks to the support of those around me that I am able to carry out my duties as a prosecutor.

___________________________________________

礼を言うのは････ 私のほうだ、成歩堂。

rei o iu no wa watashi no hōda, Naruhodō.

I should be the one to thank you, Naruhodo.

___________________________________________

But he has a special attitude towards the informal address "you". And by the way, it depends on the situation Mitsurugi is in, and not on who he is addressing.

Because he uses at least 4 (maybe more, I couldn't catch them all) options of address!

The first is "omae". We have already discussed it, so I will not repeat myself. But the situation in which it is used is when Mitsurugi tries to be cheeky, when he makes fun of others (most often, of course, Naruhodō)

お前のせいだぞ。成歩堂。

Omae no seida zo. Naruhodō.

It's your fault, Naruhodō.

___________________________________________

異国でも証拠品のつきつけとは、

お前も相変わらずだな。

Ikoku demo shōko-hin no tsukitsuke to wa, omae mo aikawarazuda na.

You're still the same, presenting evidence even in a foreign country.

___________________________________________

Next, the address "kimi".

君 (きみ/キミ)

君 (kimi) is a second-person pronoun with various nuances. Some dictionaries define 君 as a pronoun you can use in a friendly way towards someone of equal or lower status. These days, however, the way 君 is perceived varies quite a bit from person to person.

Outside of hierarchical situations like the workplace, 君 is used a lot to sound literary or poetic.

成歩堂。折り入って キミに頼みたいことがある。

Naruhodō. Oriitte kimi ni tanomitai koto ga aru.

Naruhodō. There's something I'd like to ask you.

___________________________________________

キミのいない法曹界は 平和そのものだったよ。

Kimi no inai hōsōkai wa heiwa sonomonodatta yo.

The legal profession would be at peace without you.

___________________________________________

いや。････････だが、結局 キミの力にはなれなかった。

Īya. Daga, kekkyoku kimi no chikara ni hanarenakatta.

No... But in the end, I couldn't be of any help to you.

In the example, Mitsurugi asks Naruhodō for help, so I don't think it's a hierarchy thing. It's more of an equal thing. (Correct me if I'm wrong)

___________________________________________

And then comes the most epic part. Kisama.

貴様 (きさま/キサマ)

貴様 (kisama) is a second-person pronoun that's masculine and rough, it's often in combination with vulgar language!

Although it's associated with masculinity, that doesn't mean it's a pronoun only for men. Even if you don't use 貴様 regularly, it's a great way of expressing your anger.

貴様 can also be a way to show affection in a very casual way towards close friends, partners, and family. In this case, the above example would be playful, rather than showing genuine anger.

Mitsurugi uses it when he gets angry (usually in the courtroom) and sometimes in relation to friends. So, the area of ​​application is justified by its purpose as a pronoun.

キサマの娘が、人を小さなハコに 詰め込むというショーをな!

Kisama no musume ga, hito o chīsana Hako ni tsumekomu to iu shō o na!

Your daughter puts people into tiny boxes in a show!

___________________________________________

き、キサマなどに、美的感覚を 非難されるイワレはない!

kisama nado ni, biteki kankaku o hinan sa reru iware wanai!

You have no right to criticize aesthetic sense!

And the last one - addressing by name + suffix or without suffix (Mayoi-kun, Naruhodō)

___________________________________________

Next - Odoroki Hosuke (Apollo Justice)

He's a real manly man, haha. He always uses the pronoun "ore".

俺 (おれ/オレ)

俺 (ore) is a first-person pronoun with a strong masculine feel. It sounds "manly" and less gentle than 僕. 俺 is also a pretty casual pronoun and can be seen as vulgar, especially when used in formal situations. In order to use 俺 naturally, the speech style also needs to match the manliness of 俺.

オレは、ここの事務所の 所長さんに会いに来たんだよ。

ore wa, koko no jimusho no shochō-san ni ai ni kita nda yo.

I came here to see the director of this office.

___________________________________________

オレも、ちょっとならできるよ。

A odoroki ore mo, chottonara dekiru yo.

I can do it a little bit magic too.

___________________________________________

But he doesn't bother with addressing others, and always addresses them by name + suffix (Naruhodo-san, Minuki-chan, Garyu-kenji, Mitsurugi-kenji)

成歩堂さんが 弁護士をやめたのって････

Naruhodō-san ga bengoshi o yameta notte

Naruhodō-san quit being a lawyer...

___________________________________________

(みぬきちゃん。 片付け始めたぞ････)

(Minuki-chan. Katadzuke hajimeta zo)

(Minuki-chan, you're starting to clean up...)

___________________________________________

P.S.

I hope this will clarify the characters a bit and give you a new perspective on them.

One day, I'll do the same with the main female characters (because it takes a lot of time, but I bless those who post screen recordings and screenshots, thanks to them I can quickly find the right moment).

There may be errors and typos, don't be afraid to point them out to me

[heartsforhavik]

yandere mk1 men x compliant! reader

warnings: kidnapping, mentions of violence and murder, stockholm syndrome, all men are yandere and ooc, implied afab reader in johnny's, implied nsfw in bi-han's, mentions of an anxiety attack in zeffeero's, tomas is a masochist, gender neutral reader, reader doesn't care that they were kidnapped

summary: the mk1 men (johnny cage, bi han, kuai liang, zeffeero, tomas vrbada) are yandere, and they just kidnapped you. but you seem to not care...

a/n: sorry again for my late updates😭 anyways i was reading a yandere fic and i was like 'i would just give up and accept my fate if a yandere kidnapped me.' so here's some hcs based on that lil thought LMAOO

↠↠↠↠↠↠↠↠↠

johnny cage would be ECSTATIC when he notices how compliant you are. thank god he didn't have to force you to accept your new life, that would've been ugly. now, he can live out his fantasy of a perfect life with you! and don't worry about your needs such as food and water, he's got the money to take care of that. besides, now you're with THE johnny cage! other people would sell their soul to be in your spot. you're grateful for your new life, right? you have to now, because johnny is so excited to start a family with you very soon, whether you like it or not.

bi-han wouldn't be surprised that you submitted to him so easily. it was a wise choice to be obedient. if you didn't, bi-han would have to punish you. and we wouldn't want that, would we? obviously, bi-han's always had the power and resources to make sure you never escape in the first place, but since you're just so calm and compliant, he doesn't have to stress about that anymore. but that doesn't mean he's entirely trusting of you yet. he would still keep his guard up for the first few months of your capture, just in case you were deceiving him with your willingness. but overall, bi-han is glad that you are so compliant. he brings you outside every now and then as a reward for your obedience. who knows, maybe if you keep up your good behavior, he'll reward you even more.

kuai liang was not excited to take you in. he knew you'd probably resist him, but it's for the best! please don't kick and scream at him, he's doing this because he loves you. he's keeping you safe, there's a lot of bad people out there that could hurt you and he can protect you from them. as soon as you noticed you were in an unknown place, he braced for an argument of some sorts, until you casually addressed him and asked where you were. kuai liang explained your situation and told you that he was doing it because he loves you so much, and you'll understand someday. surprisingly, you simply nodded and shrugged, accepting your situation and deciding not to defy scorpion himself. he was relieved that you didn't have any qualms with your new life, especially after he put so much effort into mending your new living space to your liking. he worked very hard to provide you with enough of your necessities to make you never want to leave.

zeffeero is confused at how cooperative you are. he had an entire anxiety attack before he committed the act, berating himself for doing such an atrocious thing. he would've hated for you to despise him, even though he would've understood why. fortunately, his anxieties were put to rest as soon as he saw how casually you handled the situation. even though it left him wondering if you were as mentally sane as he thought you were. but that doesn't matter, because now zeffeero doesn't have to hold back on his affections. he took your compliance as a sign that you are okay with his twisted way of loving you. now, your life within those walls is a lot more suffocating than you thought it would be.

tomas vrbada had mixed feelings about the situation. if you woke up in an unknown place, surely you'd be pissed at him. so you would probably cuss him out, or even fight him physically. tomas doesn't want to hurt you, but at the same time, he would relish in your hatred for him. for some reason, tomas would get a strange high out of your assertion and he'd feel very flustered if you were ever aggressive towards him. you could yell at him for the smallest thing, and he'd just stare at you with adoration as if he was in a trance. even though he would love for you to yell and scream at him, he would ultimately prefer for you to be happy with him and your new life. tomas desperately wants to have a normal-ish relationship with you, so it would be best if you were compliant with him. thankfully, you ended up quite cooperative with tomas, and easily adjusted to your new life. it made him so happy that you accepted him, that he spoiled you with everything you could ever want. tomas is at your beck and call, and he will do anything to make you happy. except free you.

[lilacwants]

i don’t know if you weite for other The Boys characters but if you do i would love something soft with A-Train. he has a rare moment of downtime and he and his partner can go out on the town and try to have a quiet date night. they both get dressed up nice and head out to their reservation at some fancy new restaurant… chaos ensues in one way or another.

obviously he’s one of the most popular recognizable people in america so those plans for a relaxing evening together go to shit. people asking for photos and generally not respecting Reggie or his partner. they end up just going back in early for the night, cuddling up with takeout and a movie.

i would live for this to be with a gender neutral reader if possible.

if you do write this, thank you so much!

- 🎠

a quiet night in.

notes : of course anon!!! this is such a sweet ask <3 summary: A-Train's attempt at a quiet dinner date is disrupted by fans, but he and his partner find comfort in each other, ending the night with takeout and a cozy movie at home. warnings: tooth rotting fluff, we love a train :')

The city lights sparkled like jewels, a kaleidoscope of colors reflecting off the skyscrapers as A-Train, or Reggie as you called him, stood beside you. Tonight, he wasn't the supe, the speedster, the face everyone knew. He was simply your Reggie, dressed in a tailored suit that hugged his athletic frame perfectly. You adjusted your outfit, feeling a bit nervous but excited about the night ahead.

Reggie had managed to carve out some rare downtime and the two of you were determined to make the most of it. Your reservation at one of the newest, fanciest restaurants in the city was the highlight of the week. As you both walked hand in hand towards the entrance, you could feel the stares and hear the murmurs.

"Isn't that A-Train?" "Oh my God, it's really him!"

Reggie squeezed your hand gently, a silent reassurance that he was here with you, for you. Inside, the ambiance was perfect—soft lighting, a gentle hum of conversation, and the aroma of exquisite cuisine wafting through the air. The maître d' led you to your table, and you both settled in, hoping for an uninterrupted evening.

But as soon as you sat down, the bubble of tranquility burst. A couple at a nearby table started whispering loudly, their excitement palpable. Soon, one brave soul approached.

“Hey, A-Train! Big fan, man. Can I get a picture?"

Reggie forced a polite smile, his eyes flicking to you apologetically. "Sure, just one," he said, standing up for the photo.

One photo turned into three, then five, then what felt like an endless stream of admirers. The restaurant, which had initially seemed a haven, transformed into a circus of flashing cameras and excited chatter. You watched Reggie try to balance his public persona with his desire to be with you, his frustration growing more visible with each intrusion.

After what felt like an eternity, the waiter finally brought your appetizers. You both tried to enjoy them, but the constant interruptions made it impossible to relax.

"Hey, man, could you sign this?"

"Can I get a shout-out for my Instagram?"

By the time the main course arrived, Reggie looked ready to bolt. The final straw was when a particularly eager fan knocked over a glass of wine, splashing it onto your outfit. The fan apologized profusely, but the damage was done.

Reggie stood up, his jaw clenched. "I'm really sorry," he said, addressing both the fan and you. "But we have to go."

You didn't argue. The night, which had promised so much, was now a disappointment. As you stepped out into the cool night air, Reggie pulled you close, his arm around your shoulders.

"I'm so sorry," he murmured, his frustration giving way to genuine regret. "I just wanted us to have a nice night."

You shook your head, leaning into him. "It's okay, Reggie. I know you tried."

The walk back to his apartment was quiet, the city bustling around you but feeling oddly distant. Once inside, you both changed into more comfortable clothes. Reggie ordered takeout from your favorite place, and you set up a movie, hoping to salvage the evening.

When the food arrived, you spread it out on the coffee table, the comforting aroma of noodles and dumplings filling the room. You both settled on the couch, your legs tangled together as the movie started.

As the opening credits rolled, Reggie sighed, pulling you closer. "I hate that I can't give you a normal night out."

You looked up at him, seeing the genuine care and frustration in his eyes. "Reggie, this is perfect. We don't need fancy restaurants or big nights out. I just need you."

His expression softened, and he kissed your forehead. "I love you," he whispered.

You smiled, snuggling into him. "I love you too."

The movie played on, but it was more of a background to your quiet conversation and shared laughter. The chaos of the evening melted away, leaving just the two of you in your little bubble of comfort and love.

As you drifted off to sleep in his arms, you realized that these were the moments that mattered. The quiet nights in, the takeout dinners, and the feeling of being completely at ease with each other. This was your perfect night, after all. <3

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

Attention (M)

Part six to the Pathetic series

Summary:

Everyone keeps acting like you aren't over Jeonghan, and you are determined to convince everyone that you are.

Tags: 16k words (I lied omg), dub con for safety reasons, Porn with Plot, frat boy!Jeonghan, college student!y/n, best friend!Jeongyeon, soft!dom to hard!dom Jeonghan, mean!Jeonghan (and y/n loves it), submissive!y/n, female!y/n (sorry gender-neutral friends), impact play, masochist!y/n, sadist!Jeonghan, Jeonghan aftercare king, y/n crys in this but it's not what you think, Jeonghan is a huge tease also

-

Part Six:

“You’re being stupid.”

You were vividly aware of that. After all, how could you not be being stupid when you were sitting on your floor, a hand mirror propped up in front of you and a whisk on your neck.

Arguing with Jeonghan was one thing but this couldn’t really be considered arguing, could it? After all, you hadn’t even let Jeonghan explain himself. You had practically thrown a fit somewhere where he couldn’t do anything about it and then left.

You hadn’t ever thought that you would end up using one of your safe words with Jeonghan, and honestly, the safety phrase that you two had come up with left your lips before you could really think over it carefully.

You remembered what Jeonghan had said. How he got reassurance in the trust you gave him. You wondered how he felt considering in that moment it probably seemed like that trust was gone.

Jeonghan deserved to feel that hurt from lying to you.

… Probably.

You didn’t know why he was lying to you, so you couldn’t really say with full confidence whether he deserved to feel hurt.

You also couldn’t ignore the knot in your stomach. You didn’t want to hurt Jeonghan. You still trusted Jeonghan. You knew he wouldn’t do anything to physically hurt you. You just… Also didn’t trust him in some ways. Maybe he would do something to mentally hurt you.

Your mind started to bring up instances in which Jeonghan had showed undeniably that he didn’t want to mentally scar you and you shook the thoughts out as quickly as you could.

You didn’t want to think about this right now.

Your eyes narrowed at your reflection in the mirror.

“Y/n,” Yeongtae said, trying to garner a reaction from you. You ignored him in favor of twisting the whisk over one of your hickeys. Yeongtae sighed.

“Why is she so stubborn?”

Jeongyeon shrugged.

“She’s always been like that. Just let her be dumb. She figures it out eventually.”

You shot a glare at Jeongyeon.

“I’m being dumb?” You demanded. “I’m not the one lying to a fuck buddy about fucking other people.”

Jeongyeon gave you an annoyed expression.

“But you are the one on the floor using a whisk to get rid of hickeys that you know you love,” Jeongyeon pointed out. “And you’re also going to be the one crying in bed later when you realize that the one thing you still have left of Jeonghan has been literally whisked out of your neck.”

You pressed your lips together and focused back on your whisk and neck. You didn’t want to say that Jeongyeon was right because she couldn’t be… Right? This situation was not a situation that warranted crying. You weren’t that emotionally attached to him.

Sure, you had spent a lot of time together, and yes you were abnormally angry at him for just another fling but that didn’t warrant crying.

He hadn’t necessarily hurt you either. He just lied.

It was shitty that he lied to you, but you were mad because he was stupid. Mad because it didn’t make sense. But he hadn’t hurt you, so there was no reason to cry.

Still, Jeongyeon’s words worried you. You looked at yourself in the mirror, your eyes flickering down to the hickeys on your neck. You knew that they would fade with time regardless of you whisking them away, which sort of asked the question that you didn’t really want to address.

Was this it? Were you done with Jeonghan?

He had lied to you, you were mad, those were two things that you were acutely aware of, but did this situation warrant cutting him off completely?

You felt sort of like you were acting out for no reason. If you were a psychology professor evaluating this situation you might say that it seemed like you wanted extra attention from Jeonghan and that was why you were making such a big deal over something that was realistically a conversation.

But with the knowledge that you actually had of the situation that just didn’t align.

“I’m not going to cry over Jeonghan,” you said finally. “I’m over him.”

It didn’t take a genius to know that no one in the room believed you.

“Really,” you insisted. “Jeongyeon knows how I am. He’s just another boy to get over. I’ve been in this situation a million times.”

Jeongyeon shrugged.

“Well, she’s right there. If y/n is good at anything it’s at dropping flings that aren’t treating her right,” she agreed.

“But Jeonghan-”

“He lied,” you interrupted, shooting Jun a glare. “If he didn’t want me to leave, he shouldn’t have lied.”

You thought over your words, that residual doubt still lingering in your mind. You pressed your lips together. “Besides. He’ll be sleeping with other people in no time. I’m not the sort of person that Yoon Jeonghan would get attached to.”

-

The first thing that Jun was greeted with upon getting back to the Alpha Mu house was none other than a pacing Yoon Jeonghan.

Jeonghan hadn’t slept well at all since you had left him at the party, and everyone in the house knew. He wanted to check on you. He wanted to see you. He just wanted one conversation.

“Well?” Jeonghan asked, his eyes flicking nervously to Jun as he toed off his shoes at the door. “Does she miss me? What did she say? Should I call her?”

Jun gave Jeonghan an apologetic look.

“She says she doesn’t care,” he said.

Jeonghan cursed, his gaze dropping to the floor, but the conversation only made Seungcheol laugh humorlessly.

“I told you. I told you that if you treated her badly, she would leave,” he said with a shake of his head. “But what did you do? Used her, abused her-”

“That’s dramatic,” Jeonghan interrupted.

“You lied to her!” Seungcheol argued back.

Frustration filled Jeonghan to the point where he felt like he was going to boil over. The others didn’t get it. Seungcheol didn’t get it. They didn’t see the way he treated you.

“I can explain that to her I just need to talk to her,” Jeonghan insisted. “I’m just going to call her.”

Jeonghan pulled out his phone but just as he did Seungcheol grabbed it.

“No. You don’t get that chance,” he said. Jeonghan’s face was starting to turn red, and Seokmin and Minghao shared looks of resignation to the fact that they wouldn’t be finishing their assignments any time soon.

“Give me my phone back,” Jeonghan said, his voice dropping to a dangerous octave.

“No,” Seungcheol repeated, squaring his shoulders. “You can’t force y/n to talk to you. If she wants to, if she decides to you will get the chance to get her back.”

“You have been against me and her from day one,” Jeonghan snapped. “You don’t get our relationship. I don’t treat her like an object. This is the last time I will ask. Give me the phone.”

“If you call y/n now, you are risking your entire relationship with her,” Seungcheol said. “You lied to her. She is confused. She doesn’t know where she stands with you. You will only further confuse her if you talk to her now.”

“The solution to this is a conversation,” Jeonghan insisted. He realized quickly that Seungcheol wasn’t about to just give him the phone, so he darted forward, trying to grab it. Seungcheol easily pulled it out of Jeonghan’s grasp.

He hated how sloppy he got when he was emotional. If this wasn’t about you he would have grabbed the phone easily.

Of course, if it wasn’t about you, he wouldn’t be arguing with Seungcheol at all.

“Let her think first. If you don’t listen to me about anything else listen to me about this.”

Jeonghan turned again to face Seungcheol, now even angrier but the anger dissipated when Seungcheol slammed his phone into his chest, forcing them to look at one another.

“Y/n let’s you do whatever the hell you want to her and puts up no fights. She trusts you to respect her when she says no, but she never says no.”

Jeonghan’s eyes narrowed at Seungcheol.

“So?”

“So, she said no. She used one of her safety phrases.” Jeonghan reached up to pull his phone out of Seungcheol’s grasp and once he had it Seungcheol dropped his hands to his sides. “Go ahead. Call her. But if you do, I guarantee she will never trust you again.”

Jeonghan stared at Seungcheol, trying to will him down with just a stare but Seungcheol wasn’t just anyone. He’d been with Jeonghan long enough to know when Jeonghan was just throwing a fit. And Jeonghan had been Seungcheol long enough to know when he was right.

“Fuck off, Seungcheol.”

But he was still going to be mad about it.

-

“Moved on already?”

You looked up at Yeongtae who you hadn’t even noticed had been staring at you for the last few minutes. Your eyebrows furrowed and your head fell to the side.

“Moved on…?” You murmured. He hummed and gestured to your phone.

“You’re checking your phone every ten seconds trying to see if anyone’s messaged you. You must have a hot new boyfriend.” You stared at Yeongtae for a few seconds trying to figure out what would have made him think that but then a smirk started to cross his lips and you realized what this was about.

“Yeongtae, I swear to god-”

“Seriously? Still?” He pressed, a laugh leaving his mouth. “How dumb are you?”

“I’m not dumb, I’m not even checking my phone that often,” you protested.

“Okay, not every ten seconds,” Yeongtae relented. “But more often than usual.”

He closed the book in front of him.

“Has Jeonghan not reached out to you yet?” He asked.

“Of course, he hasn’t,” you replied. “He’s Yoon Jeonghan. Remember? Massive University fuck boy? He’s probably fucking someone else as we speak.”

Yeongtae rolled his eyes.

“I know you’re in denial but be so fucking for real.” You made a face at his choice of words. “Jeonghan was utterly obsessed with you. He certainly hasn’t moved on that quickly.”

You looked away from him, letting an unamused noise of disagreance leave your lips.

“He really hasn’t called you?” Yeongtae asked again, but this time he seemed to be talking to himself. “I would have thought that he would have reached out immediately. Especially considering the way he talks about you.”

You perked up at that, your eyes darting back to Yeongtae.

“The way he talks about me?” You asked. Yeongtae hummed.

“Yeah, some of my study groups overlap with his so I see him every now and then. People are always asking about you, practically everyone has heard about your relationship.”

He shook his head clicking his tongue.

“People are such pigs sometimes. They’re always asking Jeonghan how to score with you, and he gets downright scary. If you didn’t like me I would probably be dead. I’ve never seen someone as relaxed as Jeonghan get angry so fast. He punched this guy Seonghun over you.”

It was a bit hard for you to imagine Jeonghan getting physical with someone else over you. Sure he had gotten a bit rough with Hyeon but you had sort of assumed that was mostly for show because you were there.

“No, he didn’t,” you said with a shake of your head.

“Seonghun has the black eye to prove it,” Yeongtae insisted. “Regardless, Jeonghan didn’t show his face at the last study group. I was sure he would call you.”

“Well, he hasn’t,” you said finally. You let silence fall between you two for a few moments. “… And, he wouldn’t no matter what because I told him not to call me.”

You could feel Yeongtae staring at you.

“Y/n?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re a different kind of stupid.”

“Hey.”

“You told him not to call you?” He reemphasized. “And you’re checking your phone waiting for him to call you?”

“I’m not-”

“Yes, you are,” Yeongtae interrupted. “How long are you going to be in denial over the fact that you still want to be with him?”

“Yeongtae he’s just…” You trailed off, feeling a bit frustrated. “He’s just a guy.”

Yeongtae rolled his eyes.

“You know who is just a guy?” He asked. “Yunjun, Seonghun, Jun, Me.”

“You’re not just a guy,” you protested. “And neither is Jun. We’re friends.”

“Oh,” Yeongtae said, seeming to be actually surprised by what you had said. “So then, because we have a relationship, despite it being non-romantic, you consider us as not just guys.”

You were a little disheartened that he would think otherwise.

“Well of course,” you agreed. “I can’t deny that Yunjun is just a guy, and can’t speak on Seonghun but we spend so much time together, how could I ever think of you as just a guy.”

A small smile crossed his lips.

“So then, all that time you spent with Jeonghan? Him taking you home after you got drunk, him taking you shopping, him building lego sets with you. All of that still reduces him down to ‘just a guy’?”

And just like that you realized that Yeongtae had just been putting on an act to make a point.

“Yeongtae,” you blurted, leaning over the table so that you could hit him lightly. He raised his hands in defense against you, laughing.

“I’m just saying,” he said. “Stop being a hypocrite and I’ll stop getting on your nerves.”

You sighed, returning to your seat.

“Look, I get you mean the best, but I really am not hung up on Jeonghan,” you said. “It’s just the end of…” You hated to say it. “A relationship albeit a non-romantic one. It makes sense that I would feel a little hung up on it.”

Yeongtae rolled his eyes.

“And here comes the psych major.”

You sighed.

“I’m just saying, what ever emotional attachment I have to him-”

“So, you admit there is one!” Yeongtae interrupted.

“Will pass,” you emphasized. “And it will pass fast because Jeonghan and I were barely emotionally attached in the first place. We just got comfortable with each other. That’s all.”

Yeongtae clearly wanted to press the subject but after searching your eyes for a moment he simply shrugged.

“Okay, I relent,” he said. “I’ll let you be stupid as long as you pay for dinner tonight.”

You let out a soft laugh.

“Yeah, of course, you will.”

-

You could feel everyone’s concern in the air as you promptly began to bury yourself in your coursework and it only made your situation more frustrating.

You knew they meant well. You knew that they just thought that you were focusing on work because you were trying not to think about Jeonghan but that simply wasn’t true. He was just a fling; you didn’t get hung up over flings.

You probably just missed the reassurance that Jeonghan gave you. That was it.

There was a soft knock at your door, and you frowned. You glanced at Jeongyeon who looked up at you from the floor.

“Are you expecting anyone?”

She shrugged.

“No.”

You sighed and got to your feet, walking over and cracking the door open. You didn’t think you could have been more surprised by who was at your door.

“Seungcheol?”

The man gave you a tired smile.

“Hey.” A frown riddled across his face. “Did you check to see who was at the door before opening it? You know you should be more careful when opening the door like that.”

You were getting a bit of dejavu.

“What are you doing here?” And on second thought- “How did you know where I live?”

“That’s where I come in-” Seungcheol was suddenly pushed aside by Jun who smiled at you before pushing past you too.

“Jeongyeon,” he whined loudly as he walked into your apartment, falling face-forward into the couch. “I’m really fucking bored, and I need help with chem.”

“You didn’t even bring your bag stupid-”

As Jeongyeon and Jun started bickering you turned your attention back to Seungcheol, leaning on the door frame.

“I don’t suppose you came here for Chem help?”

Seungcheol gave you half a grimace.

“Can we walk?”

-

It was cold out. You hated April. One day it was in the 70s, the next it was in the 40s all over again. Class being cancelled today had meant staying indoors and you had barely bothered to put jeans and a tshirt on. You wished you had thought to throw on a jacket.

Seungcheol had been quiet so far but upon you wrapping your arms over your chest he sighed and shrugged his own jacket off draping it over your shoulders before you could argue.

“Look, it’s about Jeonghan,” Seungcheol started off. You rolled your eyes.

“Yeah. Duh,” you mumbled. You tugged Seungcheol’s jacket tighter around your body.

“I don’t want to intervene in you two’s business,” Seungcheol started. “It’s just that we’re all sick and tired of Jeonghan’s attitude.”

He looked away from you.

“Usually, he’s really easy going but he’s just been a grumpy asshole all week.”

You snorted, finding it hard to believe that he would be so upset over what happened between the two of you, but Seungcheol’s expression stayed scary serious.

“I’m not saying you need to forgive him for being an idiot or anything,” Seungcheol said. “It was stupid of him to pretend like he was fucking other girls. I don’t really know what was going through his head.”

Seungcheol’s eyebrows furrowed as if he was trying to make sense of it, but after a few seconds passed he shook his head.

“Look, I don’t know. Don’t you miss him at all?”

You sighed; a bit heavier than you really meant to.

“Why should I miss him? We were just fuck buddies,” you stated. Seungcheol pressed his lips together, a strangled noise leaving his mouth.

“I just thought you had some emotional attachment to him I guess,” he stated. “After all, you got really jealous over that Chaedom situation.”

“Hey, Chaedom is just a bitch!” You protested, your voice growing a bit higher and louder. You cleared your throat. “I don’t care if he sleeps or slept with other people. Just Chaedom-”

“Right,” Seungcheol agreed. “Funny, that’s what Jeonghan always says about Yeongtae.”

You scoffed, stepping in front of Seungcheol so that he had to abruptly stop.

“Why do you care, Seungcheol?” You demanded. “We aren’t close. Jeonghan will move on and go back to his old ways- If he hasn’t already, and you’re better off without me there all the time anyways. Should I remind you what I sound like?”

Seungcheol raised his hands in the air.

“I’m not trying to pry,” he insisted. “I’m not trying to make you mad, I just…”

He sighed.

“I’ve known Jeonghan for years and never has he ever settled for anyone. He has sex practically once a week.”

“Yeah, I’m sure it was rough for him to go back to his old ways,” you scoffed.

“He hasn’t,” Seungcheol said. You rolled your eyes and you weren’t looking at him, so Seungcheol grabbed your wrist. “He really hasn’t.”

“Give him until the next party,” you said.

“Y/n, he is obsessed with you. He’s changed,” Seungcheol insisted. “You made him want something that he’s never wanted before and that scared him. He wants to reach out for you but he’s respecting your wish for space. Can’t you just… Whatever- Hate him forever, but you have to believe that he-”

“What? Loves me?”

You laughed.

“He doesn’t love me. He’ll move on. This next party for sure.”

“Then come,” Seungcheol said. His face was serious. You just frowned at him.

“I don’t want him to see me and think I want him back or something,” you mumbled. That wasn’t completely true. You didn’t want him to see you at the party because you knew that if he saw you and wanted to… You would let him take you all over again.

“Then come in a disguise. We’ll get Mingyu in on it. A wig, and different makeup than you usually wear-”

“Do you think he’s stupid?” You blurted. “He’ll see right through it.”

“Not if we’re good enough,” Seungcheol insisted. “Just come. Please.”

You took Seungcheol’s jacket off your shoulders, shoving it into his hands.

“you said you didn’t want to get in Jeonghan and I’s business? Well, then actually stay out of it.”

You briskly turned away from him, heading back in the direction towards your apartment. You heard Seungcheol make a defeated sound.

“Just… Think about it, okay?” He called after you.

“Fuck off,” you called back.

-

Unfortunately, what your mind had told you to say wasn’t what your heart was willing to enforce.

You couldn’t sleep that night because of your conversation with Seungcheol.

You had been pretty sure at a time that the boys of Alpha Mu liked you. Enough so that you didn’t think they would like to see you hurt. So, Seungcheol’s words caught you off guard.

If he thought Jeonghan had bad intentions, he certainly wouldn’t come to try and get you to take him back. That being said, it was odd that Seungcheol didn’t seem to care if you actually took back Jeonghan or not. He just seemed to want you to believe that Jeonghan genuinely liked you.

“Are you thinking about Jeonghan again?”

You would think that Yeongtae would have been tired of you glaring at him at this point, but he didn’t seem to care.

“You are so annoying when you aren’t getting laid. How do you make friends when you are in between fuck buddies?”

“Yeongtae I-” You wanted to scream at him as if he was wrong about the fact that you had been overly frustrated but… He was right. You really needed to blow off some steam but no matter how hard you tried you couldn’t touch yourself without thinking about how much better Jeonghan could touch you.

Whenever you closed your eyes, you heard him telling you what to do.

Whenever you took your clothes off you could hear him chiding you and telling you that you didn’t deserve him, but he would fuck you anyway, just because he pitied you-

“Oh my god, I don’t have to hear your thoughts to know that you are fantasizing about Jeonghan.”

“I’m not,” you protested. “God, why’s everyone acting like I miss him so much? He was just a fuck buddy.”

“Yeah, but he’s a fuck buddy you are still hung up on. Apparently, he’s more than just a fuck buddy,” Yeongtae argued. You couldn’t figure out how to respond to him, so you just threw an eraser at him. He didn’t even flinch.

“Look, you won’t convince anyone that you are over him until you prove it,” he insisted. “So…” He leaned forward, propping his elbows up on the table and resting his chin on his hands. “Let me set you up on a date.”

“What?” You asked. “Yeongtae, I’m not interested in dating anyone right now.”

“Right. Because you are still hooked up on Jeonghan.”

“No,” you disagreed. “Not because I’m still hooked up on Jeonghan. I just don’t want to go on a date.”

“What’s the worst that could happen?” Yeongtae prodded. “Maybe you hit it off with the person. Maybe you just relieve some of the built-up horniness in your body. Either way he pays for your meal.”

“How would you even set me up?” You asked, unamused by his prodding. “You don’t have any friends.”

Yeongtae cocky expression dropped into a genuinely hurt one.

“Ouch,” he said. You shrugged. “I told you the guys in my study group are all dying for a chance with you. And despite the fact that any guy with eyes on you makes Jeonghan mad, Minhyuk makes him the least mad of everyone.”

You ignored the comment about Jeonghan.

“Minhyuk?” You repeated. “I actually think I met him at a party once with Jeonghan.”

“Perfect,” Yeongtae insisted. “You even know him!”

“It was like a two-minute interaction.”

“Well, did you like him?”

You thought back on your conversation, and from what you remembered you couldn’t really say that you hadn’t liked him. Yeongtae seemed to notice your hesitance.

“It’s just one date. You guys can go somewhere public, and you’ll see how it goes,” he said, waving his hand in the air. As he spoke, he pulled out his phone. He typed for a little bit on his screen and then looked up at you. “Well?”

You stared at him.

“If I go on this date, you promise you’ll get off my back about this Jeonghan thing?”

Yeongtae very seriously drew an x over his chest with his fingers.

“Cross my heart.”

You rolled your eyes.

“Set up the date.”

-

Despite the fact you were up early quite often trying to sneak out of the Alpha Mu house, you hated getting up early. So, meeting Minhyuk at a coffee shop at 9 in the morning made you want to melt into the ground.

Still, if it would get Yeongtae off your back then it was worth getting up so early. 

When you got to the coffee shop, Minhyuk was already there looking at the menu and you were surprised to find that he looked really well-kept when he wasn’t getting drunk at a party.

His hair was slicked back, and he was wearing a button-up and a pair of jeans. You felt a little under dressed in your tee shirt but you pushed aside the feeling. This date wasn’t that serious anyways.

“Hi Minhyuk,” you greeted, shooting the boy a smile. He turned over his shoulder, giving you a smile back. You noticed that two of his teeth looked like fangs.

“Hey! I can’t believe you’re actually here,” he said, his voice light. “I assumed Yeongtae was playing a prank on me.” He thought over his words for a second. “Yeongtae is a weird guy.”

You laughed.

“Considering you two aren’t friends, you know him really well,” you commented. You fell in step next to Minhyuk, looking up at the menu in front of you. Your eyes scoured the options but even as you did that your mind wasn’t entirely on the menu.

Minhyuk was taller than you, but not taller than Jeonghan was. Your eyebrows furrowed a bit as you made note of the distance that Minhyuk was putting between you two. Unlike other people in the past, Minhyuk was keeping a respectful distance from you.

Of course, you couldn’t help but think that it was nice when Jeonghan was holding you as close to him as you could get. When he had mentioned that he wanted you as eye candy, he really had meant it.

“So, what are you thinking about getting?” Minhyuk asked. Your attention snapped back to the menu, and you dragged out an exaggerated hum.

“A latte,” you said.

“Of course,” Minhyuk agreed. “But what flavor?”

“Now that’s the question,” you said. You crossed your arms over your chest, letting your head fall to the side. “What flavor?”

Once you had settled on a latte flavor, Minhyuk had insisted you go and sit down so that he could pay for the food. Even though Yeongtae had named one of the perks of going on this date as getting free food, you still persistently argued with Minhyuk over getting your drink paid for.

In the end however, you settled for him paying as long as long as you could repay him in the future.

“So, y/n, why the sudden change in attitude?” Minhyuk asked. “I thought Jeonghan was going to have my head the day that I proposed us trading numbers.”

You snorted.

“You have a good memory,” you commented.

“And then when Chaedom got back, I was starting to realize why he was so possessive.”

You rolled your eyes.

“I didn’t come here to talk about Jeonghan,” you said.

“You should have seen the way that Chaedom came back down the stairs,” Minhyuk added with a laugh. “It was not her day.”

You couldn’t help the smile that flickered across your lips at the statement.

“So, what about you? If you thought, I was so taken then why did you tell Yeongtae to hook us up?” You asked.

“Jeonghan has been testy recently,” Minhyuk replied. “Word on the street was that you two were taking some space.”

Your eyebrows furrowed slightly.

“Why are people so obsessed over Jeonghan and I?” You asked. Minhyuk hummed.

“Because Jeonghan is the guy who never settles and you are the one he settled for,” he replied. “Everyone who didn’t see you before is seeing you in a whole new light now,” he explained. “And I was just the lucky one who got to go on a date with you first.”

That was a weird thing to think about. The thought that people were interested in you now, partly just because you had messed around with Jeonghan for a little bit didn’t sit quite right in your head. Of all the things to come from all of this… That was the most unexpected.

“Well, some of your information is a bit inaccurate,” you said. “Jeonghan didn’t really settle for me. I was a phase just like everyone else.”

“True or not,” Minhyuk said with a wave of his hand. “I’m honored that you came out with me. I’m surprised that you’re over him so quickly.”

You rolled your eyes.

“I’m just another person Minhyuk,” you said lightly. “Besides, there wasn’t much to get over. We were just a passing fling.”

“I’m surprised to hear anyone say that so casually,” Minhyuk laughed. “But then again, you’re a psych major huh? It must be easy for you to sort through your feelings.”

“That’s not entirely true,” you said. “It’s just easier to name my feelings. Not to sort through them.”

Minhyuk hummed and nodded.

“And what feelings are you feeling right now?” He asked, his lips flickering into a smile. You took a drink of your coffee.

“I’m feeling happy,” you replied. “Relaxed.”

“And me? What am I feeling right now?” He pressed.

“Cocky,” you stated. “And flirtatious.”

Minhyuk broke out into a loud laugh, that quickly led to him covering his mouth. You laughed too, surprised by how funny he took your words.

“You’re right,” he said once his laughs had died down a little. “I have to lay it on thick though. If only to see you smile.”

You didn’t normally like people who flirted with you so brazenly, but Minhyuk was a lot more easy going than other guys like him. Plus, it helped that he was really attractive.

Conversation between you and Minhyuk turned quickly to other topics, and you were starting to think that it was going really well. Did you see you and Minhyuk dating in the future? No, probably not. But was it a relief to talk to someone who wasn’t walking on glass around you? Yeah, it definitely was.

You watched as Minhyuk’s eyes flickered over your shoulder, seeming to catch the attention of someone in the middle of your two’s conversation. Your eyebrows furrowed slightly at the action.

“Oh, Jeonghan-”

It was comical, really. Not only how fast that you turned around but at the fact Jeonghan’s full name didn’t even leave Minhyuk’s mouth before you were turning.

It only took you seconds to realize that no one was standing behind you, only seconds more to register the fact that Minhyuk was laughing. You pressed your eyes shut.

“God, not you too,” you groaned.

“Yeongtae told me that everyone thinks you’re still hung up on Jeonghan,” Minhyuk said lightly. “I had to see for myself outside of your vocal reassurance that you are.”

You turned back to face him, your shoulders slacking a little bit.

Okay, you missed him. 

You couldn’t really deny it anymore. You were dying to see Jeonghan. Every day that you checked your phone you hoped to see a message from him, every time you went to the library you hoped to find him studying, every day someone talked about the Alpha Mu party this weekend you wanted to go.

And of course, you missed him.

You had grown accustomed to being around Jeonghan. You liked how he treated you. It was fun to be with him.

You knew that no one had said it was shameful to miss him, but you couldn’t help but feel like it was. 

Because he had lied to you. Even if it was a small lie, it was a lie. You two had to have complete trust in your relationship.

But as much as you were homing in on that detail. The fact that he lied, you couldn’t quite put your heart into it.

“But really y/n. Why are you pretending not to be hung up on Jeonghan?”

You sighed and waved your hands through the air.

“I’m not pretending,” you replied. “I’m trying really hard to make it true.”

You looked down at the empty coffee cup in your hands, your eyebrows furrowing a bit.

“Okay, here me out,” Minhyuk said. “Let’s talk this out. Like… A school project.”

You looked up at him.

“Listening,” you said slowly.

“So, in this scenario there is a guy who everyone goes crazy for,” Minhyuk started. “And a girl who ends up catching his eye. Everyone can tell he is obsessed with her.”

“That’s-”

“This is just a random scenario!” Minhyuk interrupted, raising his pointer finger to his lips. You gave him a glare but let him go on. “So, if he is obsessed with her and everyone knows it. Psychologically speaking, why might she think otherwise?”

“Minhyuk-”

“It’s just a little on the spot presentation,” Minhyuk teased lightly. “Surely that’s easy for you to answer.”

Another sigh left your mouth.

“Maybe she thinks otherwise because he really isn’t obsessed with her.”

“What would other people gain by thinking that he is obsessed with her if it weren’t true?” Minhyuk asked. “After all, if he wasn’t then everyone who wanted to get with her instead would have no fear of repercussions.”

You fought the urge to argue with him.

“Okay, fine. There’s a couple of different reasons for it,” you said after a few moments. “Psychologically speaking she could be experiencing Imposter Syndrome.”

You thought over symptoms of Imposter Syndrome for a few moments.

“If not a specific syndrome, maybe she just has blocks to receiving affection, or maybe she’s clinging to negative core beliefs. She could even just be nervous to get into a serious relationship.”

“Okay, now that we’ve acknowledged what could be causing those thoughts, what caused the separation between the two?”

“I thought this was just a random scenario?” You asked skeptically. Minhyuk gave you an annoyed look. “He lied about sleeping with other people. Not saying that he wasn’t. He said he was, but it turned out he was only sleeping with me.”

Minhyuk’s eyebrows rose in surprise.

“Uh-” You saw him physically shake off his surprise. “Okay, so you find out. You’re mad?”

“Hypothetically,” you mumbled.

“So hypothetically, what is the logical next step to take?”

-

Of all the stupid things you had done recently, this might have to be the stupidest and it wasn’t even your idea.

Sure, looking at yourself in the mirror you looked a little different, but anyone with two eyes would be able to tell it was you.

“Keep in mind, it will be dark,” Seungcheol reminded you as if he could read your thoughts. “And you won’t be close enough to him for him to notice you.”

“And you never wear this kind of makeup,” Mingyu agreed. “And that wig looks nothing like what your hair usually looks like.”

“And most importantly, he isn’t expecting you,” Seungcheol added on.

You sighed. You supposed all that was true.

“I think he’ll still see through it.”

“He won’t,” Seungcheol assured. “This plan is foolproof. All you have to do is hang around my friend Yeonjun at the party, watching Jeonghan from afar. You’ll see that he hasn’t moved on and then you can decide if you want to have that conversation with him or not.”

It was still stupid. Hallmark rom com behavior. And yet, even so-

“Y/n, Yeonjun. Yeonjun, y/n.”

You eyed up the boy in front of you, give him a small smile despite your indifference towards him. He smiled a bit wider than you, his head falling to the side and his eyebrows scrunching together slightly.

“You’re y/n?” He asked, holding out his hand for you to shake. You ignored his hand. “You really do look different. That’s a good disguise.”

Mingyu personally seemed to take pride in that.

“Thank you,” he said with a smile. Seungcheol rolled his eyes and started to push Mingyu away.

“Okay, we’re going to go now so that Jeonghan doesn’t get suspicious of anything,” he said. He gave you a weird look, hesitating for just a moment. You raised your eyebrow at him. “Stick to the plan.”

Stick to the plan.

The plan wasn’t really a plan, and no matter how you thought about it you felt like you were in high school all over again. At your age, putting on a disguise to see if a guy really liked you was a bit childish. But, despite that, the plan was for you to spend the night at the party with Yeonjun, and watch Jeonghan from a far.

Why, Yeonjun? Because the salt and pepper haired boy was someone that you had never associated with before. So, if Jeonghan did think he recognized you, he would be thrown off by the fact you were with Yeonjun.

Maybe it was just the alcohol but as far as you could tell the disguise that Mingyu and Seungcheol had put you in was convincing. Nobody that had bumped into you thus far had recognized you. Even the Alpha Mu boys seemed to be none the wiser.

And Yeonjun, despite his excessive drinking, was proving to be quite the amusing partner in crime. As the night started out, the two of you had been located near the snack table. You had used this time to spot Jeonghan, while Yeonjun used this time to start drinking. At first he was quiet, just focusing on the alcohol, and then he seemed to go practically comatose. He stood next to you, completely silent, completely unmoving. It made him easy to ignore.

Jeonghan had started the night talking to Soonyoung and Seokmin, but as the night progressed, he started to move around the party. You hadn’t really pinned Jeonghan down as a particularly social person, despite the fact that he slept around.

You noticed that other than hanging out with the other frat boys he didn’t really associate with people. You were a bit surprised to find out that he was in a study group with Yeongtae.

Jeonghan didn’t stay with one group of people for very long. Instead, he floated from group to group, sometimes barely even partaking in conversation.

“It’s almost pathetic the way that you are staring at Jeonghan. You’re looking at him like most of the girls desperate for him look at him.”

You fixed Yeonjun under an unamused gaze to which he just shrugged unapologetically.

“Just thought I would tell it as I see it. You’re obsessed with him.”

It was the first time that you had heard anyone flip the tables on you. You were so used to people telling you that Jeonghan was obsessed with you that this felt weird.

“You’re drunk,” you said pointedly.

“Drunk but not blind,” Yeonjun argued back. He leaned towards you, his finger flicking across your nose. As he did, he tipped his cup of alcohol, spilling a few drops on the ground. His eyes widened in despair and he ducked his head to try and catch the spilled drink.

You laughed at him, shaking your head and allowing your eyes to turn back to Jeonghan.

“You really like him,” Yeonjun pressed.

“I’m just trying to see something,” you argued back.

Yeonjun hummed and suddenly his head fell against your chest.

“Hasn’t everyone been telling you? He’s been turning down people left and right for the last few weeks,” Yeonjun said. “Rumors on the street is that he is into someone.”

You rolled your eyes, but honestly found his behavior amusing. You raised a hand to his head, patting him like he was a dog.

“You always drink so much?” You asked him. He looked up at you with a pout on his lips.

“I don’t drink anymore than the next person,” Yeonjun replied. You fixed him with a skeptical look. “Okay a little more than the next person.”

He paused.

“We should get more alcohol,” he stated. Then another thought occurred to him. “You should drink some.”

“I think that if you are so drunk you’re spilling your alcohol than you are too drunk for more.”

Yeonjun whined his protests, but you ignored them. You kept your hand placed on the drunk boys’ head, staring at Jeonghan. A girl had joined him a few moments before. Her hand raised to his arm but he shook it off, looking like he was annoyed by her advances.

“Why are you so obsessed over Jeonghan?” Yeonjun asked. He paused. “Wait. Right. The plan. You don’t think Jeonghan is obsessed with you.”

You grunted, watching as Jeonghan walked away from the girl he had just shook off of him.

“I don’t believe this,” you murmured. Yeonjun peered up at you, his eyes wide and pupils dilated.

“What? That Jeonghan hasn’t fucked with anyone else yet?” He questioned. His eyes wandered over to the man in question who was practically social distancing from the girl in front of him. A completely different girl from the one he just turned down. “Isn’t this irrefutable proof that he actually does like you?”

“He’s got to be…” You trailed off in frustration. “Maybe he’s just being overly picky. He can’t just not be sleeping with other people because of me.”

Yeonjun looked back up at you. There was a moment of silence.

“Well, why don’t you try to seduce him then?”

Listening to a boy as drunk off his ass as Yeonjun was at this point was stupid.

“Yeonjun the plan-”

“The plan is stupid,” Yeonjun blurted out. “You put on a disguise this good just to stare at him from afar? You need to get into the action. Figure out for yourself if he really will sleep with someone else. You know him, what makes him tick.”

He gestured in the direction that Jeonghan was in, stumbling a little bit.

“Go make him tick.”

“He’ll recognize me,” you protested. Yeonjun rolled his eyes and gestured to the people around you two.

“No one recognizes you,” he replied. “Get it together and go figure out if that man is really your man.”

You really did no better than to listen to someone drunk, but something about Jeonghan really did make you stupid.

And yet, you still ended up finding yourself leaving Yeonjun with a girl whose name he had known, making your way towards Jeonghan in the crowd.

Your mind was screaming at you, begging you to not be stupid. Begging you to stay away from him. But even as you thought that, your shoulder was bumping against Jeonghan’s.

Time to see if you were really as good at acting as you sometimes pretended you were.

An innocent smile flickered across your face.

“Oh I’m-” You sucked in a breath that you wished you could say was rehearsed but really you had just really forgotten how nice it was to be in Jeonghan’s presence again. “I’m so sorry.”

You stumbled a little from the inertia of your bump and Jeonghan caught you by the wrist. A confused expression was riddled across his face. His eyes flickered across your body, his gaze pausing at your neck and then flicking back to your eyes.

Your heart stopped. You were sure you had been caught.

“And who might you be?” Jeonghan asked softly, a smile curling across his lips.

Game and point.

Pride surged through your body at the fact you had been able to trick him. Even more excitement buzzed through your body when you saw that undeniable glint his eyes. Lust, interest. His fingers tightened their grasp on you, causing your body to burn with desire.

“Is it important?” You asked. “All that matters is who you are.” Your eyes glinted in excitement. “Yoon Jeonghan.”

Jeonghan’s head fell to the side ever-so-slightly.

“So, my reputation proceeds me as it always does,” he said. His eyebrows furrowed. “I can’t help but wonder what you’ve heard.”

“Just that you always bring people to the finish line,” you replied your voice light.

You worried that your current conversation was too reminiscent of your first one with Jeonghan, but your worry over being caught was clouded by the knot that was growing in your stomach. Why did you feel like this? Wasn’t this what you wanted? To be right?

“Do you want to come upstairs with me?”

Jeonghan’s invitation was tempting, despite your disguise. Mostly because it reminded you just how much you craved him. Being mad at him was exhausting but this also showed that you were right and Seungcheol was wrong. He was the same Jeonghan that he had been when you met him.

Picky. But still willing to sleep with any person he thought fit his standards. You had simply been a glitch in the system. A break in a chain that was now put back together. You were forever just going to be a notch in his belt.

But you couldn’t help it…

“Yeah.”

You were reconsidering everything as you traveled back up those stairs. Now they were so familiar to you. Each little scratch and notch reminding you of a different time that you had traveled up them.

So Jeonghan hadn’t recognized your face. Did that mean he wouldn’t recognize your body?

Surely not, right? How distinct could your body be from others?

You shouldn’t let it get that far. No, you needed to make an excuse- Any excuse to get back downstairs to the party.

Maybe that would knock down Jeonghan’s ego a little bit. If suddenly, a conquest turned him down.

Yeah, that felt like good revenge and totally made up for the lack of self control you had when it came to Jeonghan. You would really have to unpack at some point why you really didn’t care if you were just a notch in Jeonghan’s belt.

Jeonghan opened the door of his bedroom, gesturing you in. He was being a little bit more detached than he usually was when he was about to fuck you, but maybe that was just a difference between you and the other people he slept with.

It didn’t necessarily mean that he liked you more than them.

You opened your mouth to make some excuse to go back downstairs but before you could Jeonghan was slamming the door shut with his foot. Your eyes widened as he suddenly closed the distance between you two. You backed yourself up against the wall and he trapped you there between his arms, his face mere itches from you.

“Did you think I wouldn’t recognize you?”

His entire demeanor was different than it had been just a second ago. You could practically feel a hundred feelings radiating off of Jeonghan’s body. Lust, desperation, frustration.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Jeonghan’s hand shot up and ripped your wig off of your head. He held it in front of your face, his lips pressed in frustration.

“Do you think I’m stupid? That I wouldn’t recognize you just because you had a little bit of makeup on and a wig?”

“I-”

“I understand my reputation,” Jeonghan said. He threw the wig to the floor and pulled away from you. You took a large breath of relief for the space.

Generally, when it came to situations like this, where you were stuck around an angry man. You were, reasonably scared.

But this was Jeonghan. Yoon Jeonghan. He only hurt you when you wanted to be hurt. And he never hurt you over actual anger. You knew you were safe.

“I’m Yoon Jeonghan, and I fuck around. But… Fuck that shit, I only want to fuck you. I thought that we were past this. I thought you understood that.”

You were ripped from your thoughts at that, your eyes wide.

“That’s surprisingly intimate,” you joked. Jeonghan looked at you.

“Y/n, I’m sorry I lied to you about sleeping with other people,” Jeonghan said. He walked back over to you, placing his hands on your shoulders so that you had to look at him. “I didn’t sleep with anyone. Not since we established you couldn’t sleep with other people. I haven’t wanted to sleep with anyone else.”

Again, the scariest thing about Jeonghan was just how serious he was acting. You laughed.

“You sound like you’re about to confess your love to me,” you joked.

Jeonghan’s eyes didn’t leave yours, but they saddened a little bit. His lips pursed together into a thin line. The smile dropped from your face.

“Jeonghan-”

He looked away from you, his hands leaving his shoulders.

“Yes, at first it was just sex. I mean, really. What are the odds that we would find each other?” He asked. “How many people like to get spit on and have their face smacked? You like it when I rough you up. That’s crazy.”

You just stared at him, unsure of what to say. He didn’t look like he wanted you to say anything yet anyways.

“Yes, I’m jealous of the people that you get to spend time with,” Jeonghan said. “Stupid, fucking Seungcheol… I’m not jealous of Yeongtae because I’m scared that you are going to fuck him. I’m jealous because you two have an emotional attachment that we don’t have, and I was scared we would never have it.”

“Why would you want an emotional relationship with a fuck buddy?”

There was silence from Jeonghan, and he turned around to look at you. He had a sad look on his face.

“Y/n, Jeongyeon told me once… In passing, that you weren’t looking for a real relationship.” The air in the room was suddenly so heavy you felt like you needed to sit down. “Why not?”

Your heart skipped a beat, the implications seeming unreal.

“I just...” You tried to figure out the right words to say. Tried to figure out what you were thinking. “I haven’t needed that in my life. No one has proved to me that we would really work out.”

Jeonghan stared at you, and you stared back at him. There was something in his eyes. You were scared that Jeonghan was going to say something that you didn’t think you wanted to hear right now. You needed a distraction.

“Jeonghan.”

“Yeah?”

“I really… I really need you.”

“Fuck,” Jeonghan said, turning his body slightly away from you. “I’m trying to apologize to you, y/n.”

“Apology accepted,” you agreed. You lowered your hands to the hem of your shirt, dragging it off your body. Jeonghan groaned, covering his hand with his face.

“Y/n, I am not that strong. This is the longest I’ve gone without sex since high school,” he said. “Just let me…”

You walked over to him, unbuckling your bra as you walked. You let it drop to ground, knowing that he heard the sound. You grabbed Jeonghan by the collar of his sweater.

“Come on, Jeonghan. I know you need it just as bad as I do. You want me… I want you… The door is closed…”

You took Jeonghan’s hands, pressing them to your bare sides. His fingers obediently wrapped around your body. You dragged his hands up your body by his wrists.

“Come on,” you whined. “Didn’t you miss me? Don’t you want to use me?”

A groan left his mouth.

“You’re not being very good y/n.”

Jeonghan looked reasonably torn. You could tell he was trying to be mature and take this the right way and that scared you even more. Coming to this party you had expected to see Jeonghan flirting with other people, but here he was doing everything that he could to actually amend things with you and you couldn’t wrap your head around why.

“And what are you going to do about it?”

“Fuck it. But we’re talking after this.”

Jeonghan’s hand tightened around your body, and his other hand came to your hair. Braided to keep it hidden beneath your wig. A growl left Jeonghan’s mouth.

“Never braid your hair before seeing me. Ever again.”

He placed his hands square on your shoulders and pushed you back onto his bed.

“Unbraid your hair right now.”

You scrambled to pull the rubber bands out of your hair, your fingers running through the strands of your hair as you struggled to get them out of your braids. Jeonghan meanwhile was watching you, a dark look in his eyes as he practically ripped his shirt off of himself.

“If I don’t have something to pull-”

Just as you got the last bit of your hair untangled from the braid, Jeonghan was climbing on the bed, fingers hooked in your pants as he pulled them off your body. You didn’t have to be told what to do from there and immediately shimmied out of your panties, tossing them to the side and propping yourself up on your elbows, simply anticipating what Jeonghan was going to do next.

You couldn’t help how your body was buzzing just at being in this position again. Being in Jeonghan’s room, being naked in front of him. Normally, you would feel embarrassed, but you really seemed to have no shame when it came to Jeonghan.

“Fuck, look at you,” Jeonghan mumbled, his hands lowering down to his pants. His fingers hooked on his belt and he began to unbuckle it and you had to literally wipe drool from your lips. Fuck. “You are so fucking gorgeous.”

He tossed his belt to the side with a soft clang.

“And even though you are being so bad in distracting me with sex,” he said, unbuttoning his pants with a single flick of his thumb. “You are literally on bed waiting for me to do whatever the hell I want to you, aren’t you?”

You nodded, and you were burning so badly that your core hurt. You needed to be touched by Jeonghan. You couldn’t just lay there under his gaze and watch him get undressed. God, you needed to do something. Anything.

“I know how badly you want to touch yourself,” Jeonghan cooed, dropping his pants to ground. You swallowed hard, trying to keep your eyes on Jeonghan. “But I also know just how badly you need to be good for me. Isn’t that, right?”

Your face was blazing and you could feel your pussy beginning to drip wetness despite the fact that Jeonghan hadn’t even touched you yet.

“Go on y/n. I wouldn’t blame you if you had to play with your cunt while you waited for me to finally touch you,” he said. Your eyes widened slightly but he shot you down quickly. “No that’s not permission. You will get punished if you touch yourself. But I know that you really need to touch yourself. I’m just saying I won’t blame you for succumbing to your own desires.”

A smile flickered across his face.

“What will it be huh? Are you going to relieve yourself? Ease that feeling of desperation that’s just building up in your body?”

Jeonghan laughed at you and dropped his boxers down to the ground. You didn’t speak to him. Too afraid of what you were going to say. You were excited now, thinking that since his clothes were off you wouldn’t have to choose between being good or bad.

You were wrong.

As soon as Jeonghan had stepped out of his boxers he walked up to the edge of the bed, but instead of joining you on it, instead of throwing foreplay out the window and taking you right there, he stopped where his knees brushed the comforter.

He wrapped his fingers around his rock hard cock, groaning at his own touch.

“I love that you let me do anything to you,” he said. “What would you do if I told you that I wasn’t going to touch you at all? What if I told you that I was just going to look at you and get myself off and cum all over you and then just leave you? Make you sit there covered in my semen until I decided that I should touch you.”

He thought over that for a second.

“If I even decided to touch you.”

“Jeonghan-” You blurted, your eyes wide as panic seized your body. “You wouldn’t do that.”

Jeonghan gave his cock a pump.

“Are you sure about that?”

There was something sadistic in his eyes, and it made you second guess everything you knew about him.

“You wouldn’t even-” Your voice cracked. “You wouldn’t even touch me?”

You swallowed hard, unable to help yourself from spreading your legs out a little further.

“Didn’t you miss me at all?”

“I missed you so fucking much, y/n,” And as he spoke his voice grew deeper, shaky even. “That’s why I can’t touch you. I need you to need me as much as I need you.”

You felt yourself whimper at his words.

“I do. I do need you Jeonghan, d-don’t do this to me,” you blurted out desperately. Jeonghan mostly ignored you, his eyes threatening to flutter shut from the pleasure of even just slowly pumping his cock. You thought that him touching himself made it that much more cruel.

“I don’t know why you are complaining,” he commented. “All you have to do is misbehave. Are you really that scared of misbehaving in front of me?”

You nodded, squirming in place.

“Yes. Jeonghan, please,” you begged. “I don’t want to be bad, I want to be good, I want to be of good use to you.”

“You’re good use to me right now,” Jeonghan replied, the corners of his lips quirking up. “You’re so pretty to look at and so good at begging for me.”

A loud whine escaped your lips.

“Jeonghan,” your voice was tiny now, your fingers balled in Jeonghan’s comforter as you fought the urge to do what Jeonghan wanted you to do. You honestly thought that this was crueler than any kind of punishment he could and had ever given you. You couldn’t help the fact that tears were beginning to sprout out of the corners of your eyes.

You scrambled to your hands and knees, crawling to the edge of the bed. Jeonghan narrowed his eyes at you, but you stopped before you really hit bad territory.

“Jeonghan please, I’m not this strong,” you pleaded. You let your eyes grow wider, and tilted your head to the side, puffing out your chest. Jeonghan’s eyes darkened.

“Yeah?” He asked. You nodded, scooting forward more on your knees.

“I need you Jeonghan,” you agreed.

Jeonghan’s eyes fluttered shut and you thought for a second that you were screwed and not in the way that you wanted to be but just as your gaze dropped to the ground, you felt a hand gripping tightly in your hair.

Your head was jerked up and you came face to face with Jeonghan, his nose millimeters from yours. He smiled at you, his tongue briefly flicking across his teeth.

“You promise?” He asked you. Your eyes briefly furrowed and your gaze darted down to his lips. A beat passed and then suddenly you remembered that he had spoken to you. You tried to nod, but found you couldn’t move. You swallowed thickly.

“I promise,” you breathed. Jeonghan snorted.

“Liar.”

You opened your mouth to argue with Jeonghan but you suddenly got pushed back into the bed. Just as your head fell into the comforter Jeonghan was grabbing you by your thighs, pulling you to the edge of the bed. You propped yourself up on your elbows again, but just as you did that Jeonghan was pushing two of his fingers deep into you.

You felt your elbows collapse as soon as he curled his fingers inside of you. A loud desperate moan left your lips.

“You don’t need me,” Jeonghan admonished. He pulled his fingers from you, humming as he slipped his fingers into his mouth. “No, you just think you need me because you do whatever that pretty cunt tells you to.”

His hand came down on your clit, causing your body to jolt and your head to press harder into the bed.

“And your pretty little cunt will get wet for any man who promises to put his dick in you.”

You felt the tips of Jeonghan’s fingers brush your skin, and he slowly dragged his fingertips down your body.

“J-Jeonghan please,” you managed to get out as Jeonghan teasingly ran his fingers down your body. “Th-That’s not true. I-”

Jeonghan’s fingertips slid between your folds, and when he raised them up in front of you they were literally dripping. His head fell to the side.

“That’s not true? Because I’ve barely touched you and you’re soaked,” he pointed out. “You’re either a slut, or you need me so badly you just can’t help yourself, and we know that can’t be true.”

He didn’t leave room for that aspect of the conversation to continue because then he was pushing his wet fingers into your mouth. You desperately sucked at them, hoping maybe Jeonghan would be tempted to do more to you, but he pulled his fingers disappointingly fast from your lips.

His hands returned to your sides, dragging up to your breasts. He cupped your breasts in his hands, giving them a small squeeze. You arched your back into Jeonghan’s touch.

“Jeonghan, please,” you whimpered.

“What?” He asked innocently. “This isn’t good enough for you?”

Frustration bubbled in your chest at Jeonghan’s words.

“You know it isn’t,” you replied, unable to keep the bite off your tongue. Jeonghan hummed and pushed two fingers back into you without warning.

“What about this?” He asked. “Is this enough?”

You opened your mouth to respond- To tell him that no it wasn’t enough- but before you could Jeonghan was sharply pushing his fingers back into you forcing you to raise a hand to your mouth, biting down on it to keep more noise from leaving your lips.

“You know, I almost didn’t recognize you,” Jeonghan mumbled as he pressed his fingers deep inside of you. “You being there in that makeup, with that wig, in those clothes with Yeonjun? None of it made sense. Not after what happened.” 

He shook his head. 

“But I saw through it. Even though it didn’t make sense I knew it was you, I just got really thrown off by one thing.”

His free hand raised to your neck, his fingers splaying across it. You knew immediately what he was talking about. 

“I’m sorry,” you blurted out. Your frustration gone now that Jeonghan was fucking you with his fingers “I don’t know why I got rid of-” 

Before you could finish talking Jeonghan was pressing his hand to your mouth. He raised an eyebrow towards you in warning.

“I don’t care why you did it,” Jeonghan replied. You pressed your lips together and Jeonghan pulled his hand away from your face. “The question is can I replace them?”

You felt another wave of heat run through your body.

“Y-Yes,” you managed to get out. Jeonghan smiled.

“Are you sure?” He asked, his voice dropping a few octaves. “Because if I leave more marks on you I expect you to leave them this time.”

You nodded, craning your neck.

“Yes, I’ll leave them, I promise,” he bit out. “I fucking missed them, I regretted getting rid of them so much.”

It was true. Ever since you had successfully gotten rid of the marks, you had hated looking at yourself in the mirror. You missed the marks on your neck even if you had been upset about the whole Jeonghan situation.

Jeonghan didn’t argue with you over it. He leaned forward, the tips of his fingers pinching at your nipples as his lips attached to your neck. At first he just peppered soft little kisses to your neck as his hands kneaded your breasts. The further he leaned down however, the closer his hard cock got to you. You felt the tip of his cock brush your swollen clit and you bucked your lips up, chasing the friction.

“Y/n, I’ve never seen you so desperate,” Jeonghan said teasingly, his hot breath making your head press back against the bed harder. “You’re acting like you haven’t been touched in days.”

“I haven’t,” you breathed. Jeonghan’s teeth bit down on your neck, and then his warm tongue flicked across the spot, as if to soothe your neck after the bite. “I-I- haven’t even touched myself since I got with you.”

Jeonghan’s body shifted further and once again Jeonghan’s tip pressed against your clit. You wiggled your hips so that Jeonghan’s tip slipped between your folds. Both you and Jeonghan let out matching groans.

“Even when you’re mad at me you’re still mine, huh?” Jeonghan said his voice low. “You still need my cock to get yourself off. Can’t come without my permission to.”

You nodded your agreement but as you moved Jeonghan was biting down on your neck again.

“Beg me to fuck you,” Jeonghan breathed against you.

“Jeonghan,” you pleaded. “I really do n-need you. Your cock is the only one that I can be satisfied with. I just, fucking, need you. So badly I need you.”

“It’s s-so hard to resist you,” Jeonghan mumbled and you literally heard his voice crack. You knew normally you would get in trouble for grabbing Jeonghan but you couldn’t help it. You raised your hands to Jeonghan’s forearms, wrapping your fingers tightly around them. You could feel how tight his muscles were, presumably from the strain of not pushing his cock into you.

“Then don’t,” you breathed. Jeonghan laughed humorlessly, picking up at you from your neck.

“I’ve got to take my time with it today, baby,” he said softly and your whole body shivered at the word. He pulled away from you, ignoring the way your hands tightened around his arms as he did. “I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. I never know when you are going to come around for me to fuck. I have to make the most of it.”

Jeonghan’s pulled back his cock, slipping from your folds and dragging a string of wetness from it. You felt tears prick at the corners of your eyes all over again. The frustration of not being fucked really building up in you.

He began to slide down your body, his mouth trailing kisses to your skin. Your toes curled as his lips trailed over your breasts, his teeth briefly nipping at you before continuing down your body.

“Jeonghan,” you cried out. You tried to move but Jeonghan pressed a hand to your pelvis, pinning you to the bed.

“You’re making it so much harder, to stop from fucking you,” Jeonghan groaned. His mouth came to a stop just above your clit and he started to press wet kisses to your thighs. So close to your pussy that his tongue was darting out to capture some of the wetness that had soaked your thighs. “I want to take you so fucking badly. Give you exactly what you are begging for.”

The tears slid down your cheeks.

“Pl-please.”

He finally wrapped his lips around your clit, sucking on it harder. You still tried your best to move under him, but it was pointless. You reached forward, your fingers burying in Jeonghan’s hair. As good as it felt to have him sucking on your clit, you were still desperate for any thing to be in your pussy. You fucking missed his fingers. You needed his cock.

Jeonghan’s mouth lowered and his tongue ran teasingly between your folds. You let out a wrecked sob, mixed in with a desperate moan and Jeonghan cooed lightly, his breath teasing your clit.

“Poor baby, you’re so desperate for me aren’t you?” He asked. You nodded.

“I’ve been so good Jeonghan,” you begged softly, your breath coming in hics. Jeonghan’s tongue dipped into your pussy and your fingers tightened in Jeonghan’s hair. Not pulling to get him to pull off of you. Just pulling because you couldn’t do anything else.

“You taste so good,” Jeonghan commented. “I could stay down here all day.”

Another cry left your lips and Jeonghan pulled his mouth off of you, sticking two of his fingers into your pussy. His head fell to this side.

“Look at me, y/n,” he said. You looked up at him, your eyes blurry from tears. He clicked his tongue. “Oh look at you. Do you really need cock that badly?”

You nodded and another hic left your lips. Jeonghan cooed at you and raised his body, pulling his fingers from you. He sucked his fingers into his mouth, and then, once they were clean, cupped your face in his hands.

“Don’t cry baby, I’ve got you.”

He slid his dick into you, making a relieved moan leave your lips. Your eyes fluttered shut as Jeonghan pushed himself fully into your pussy. You mewled loudly.

“Fuck, I can’t stand to be apart from you,” Jeonghan groaned. His hands lowered to the sides of your head and he pulled out before pushing hard back into you, your whole body shaking. You raised your hands to wrap around Jeonghan’s body.

“Th-Thank you, Jeonghan,” you breathed out. “But, pl-please, h-harder.”

“Harder?” Jeonghan’s voice was light, muddled with pleasure. “I’m trying to take my time. Really trying to savour this.”

“I know you want to use me,” you pleaded. “Like a slut right? Like your perfect little slut.”

Your fingers dug into Jeonghan’s back.

“I can take it, I can always take it. Stop holding back.”

Jeonghan’s hips stuttered and after recovering, his hips snapped, forcing his cock hard into you.

“Baby, I don’t think you can take it,” he said. “Look at you? Your mascara running, your face red. You can barely take my teasing. You think that you can take it if I fuck you the way I usually do?”

You nodded desperately.

“I can, I really can,” you insisted. “Please, I need it hard. I need to feel you take me. Own me.”

“Fuck,” Jeonghan groaned. “You little-”

He reached forward, his fingers capturing your chin between them.

“You don’t know what you are asking for,” he warned. You forced yourself to look at Jeonghan, your eyes wide.

“Jeonghan, I need you.”

Jeonghan lowered his hands to your neck, his fingers wrapping around them. His eyebrows raised as he stilled himself inside of you.

“What’s your safe word?”

You blurted it out, making Jeonghan laugh at your desperation.

“Good, fucking, girl.”

His fingers tightened around your neck and he began to fuck you fast, deep, and hard. It was a pace that you were familiar with but somehow it rocked your core even harder than it normally did. You felt it growning a little harder to breath as Jeonghan’s fingers tightened around your neck and a whine at the light-headed sensation was ripped from your body.

His fingers loosened at the whine, allowing you to gasp for a breath of air, but as soon as you did Jeonghan was tightening his grip on you all over again. You felt yourself clamp hard around Jeonghan’s dick as a wave of pleasure shot through your body. Your fingers clutched at Jeonghan’s back but just as they did Jeonghan raised his hand to your face, hitting you across it lightly.

“I’ve been letting you misbehave all day,” Jeonghan growled. “But if you want me to own you, you’re going to have to be good.”

His thumb swiped across your face.

“No touching.”

Your hands dropped to the bed, raising above your head. You arched your back, hoping for Jeonghan’s hands to return to your throat but he was much too focused now. You loved it when he became borderline animalistic. His hips were snapping into you, his lips curving up with every desperate cry of his name.

“You gonna tell me exactly how much you missed me?” Jeonghan asked. “Tell me about how I plagued your thoughts every day. How you can’t do anything but think about me and need me?”

You tried to find the words to talk back to Jeonghan, but you couldn’t find your voice no matter how hard you tried. Your silence earned you another slap which went right down to your core.

“God, you’re so pathetic,” he cooed. “So fucked out you can’t even find the words to respond to me. You always get like this eventually don’t you?”

“Only with you,” you managed to get out. Jeonghan lowered a hand to your clit and he began to messily rub it in circles.

“I know baby,” he said softly. “And you’re going to come just for me aren’t you? After all the teasing and the touching, you were able to hold back until just now. What do you think that makes you?”

“Good,” you blurted back. “I’ve been so good.”

Jeonghan’s lips flickered into a smile that you could just barely make out.

“You have been,” Jeonghan agreed. “So, fucking good for me.”

He shook his head.

“Even though you’re loud.” He gave you a particularly hard thrust. “Messy.” Another thrust. “Fucking shameless.”

He reached forward, pressing his forehead to yours.

“You are so fucking good. I fucking love-” His voice faltered before he quickly added: “Fucking you.”

Without warning you felt Jeonghan begin to unload himself into you, you screamed out in pleasure but Jeonghan cut you off by pressing his lips to yours.

“Come on baby, you have my permission,” Jeonghan mumbled against your lips. “Come for me, okay?”

You didn’t have to be prompted further. You didn’t care about being good. You raised your hands to Jeonghan’s neck, pressing him down further on you. Instead of screaming you focused on kissing Jeonghan, you whole body shaking as you came around his cock. As you were coming down from your orgasm, you felt Jeonghan pushing his cum deeper into your pussy.

Unfortunately for you, Jeonghan’s thrusts stopped, as soon as your grip on his neck loosened.

Jeonghan slipped his cock out of you, and a small whine left your lips. You covered your face with your hands finding both comfort and disappointment in the feeling of Jeonghan’s cum beginning to leak out of your pussy. Instead of immediately getting up to start a shower however Jeonghan wrapped his arms around your body, pulling your back flush to his chest and then proceeded to bury his face in your neck.

You let him hold you for a few minutes, focusing on his breath on your neck and the beating of his heart that you could feel against your back before finally speaking.

“Are you not going to start a shower?”

Jeonghan let out a humorless chuckle.

“I never thought there would be a day where you wanted a shower immediately after,” Jeonghan commented.

“It’s just uncharacteristic of you not to try,” you replied softly. Jeonghan was silent for a few seconds.

“It’s just I have to leave you to go start the shower,” Jeonghan said. You frowned at his words.

“And…?”

“And what if when I get back, you’re gone?”

Even as he spoke his arms were tightening their grip on you.

“Jeonghan I’m not going to leave,” you said softly. Jeonghan didn’t seem convinced. “Jeonghan-”

Jeonghan sighed.

“You’re right. I’m being selfish,” he said with a sigh.

He stayed still for a few more seconds, making you think for a moment that he hadn’t meant his words, but then he was pulling away from you.

Your first thought was that you shouldn’t have complained about him holding you. Now it was cold. And before when he was just holding you there was no need to address the situation you two were in at all.

“I’ll be right back,” he said softly. “Don’t go anywhere.”

He walked to the door and paused, looking at you before he left the room.

As soon as Jeonghan was gone you sat up in his bed, using your elbows to prop yourself up.

Just leaving while Jeonghan was gone hadn’t really been something on your mind until Jeonghan mentioned it, but thinking about it know you didn’t think it was a bad idea. After all, you still had a lot to think about.

Had Jeonghan really been unwilling to sleep with anyone who wasn’t you? Or had he known you were there to watch the whole time?

You swung your legs over the side of Jeonghan’s bed, and shakily got to your feet. You looked around the room trying to find your clothes but then you remembered your shopping trip with Jeonghan. You wandered around Jeonghan’s room, trying to see if maybe he had just thrown the bag somewhere.

You were about to give up hope when the brief thought to look in his closet. You pulled open the door, a small frown flickering across your face. At first the closet looked the same as it usually did, but then you noticed something odd about the clothes hanging to the right.

They were the ones that he had bought for you. Your frown deepened as you moved the hangers trying to see if you were right and you were. He had taken the time to hang up every piece of clothing he had bought for you.

Why would he hang up the clothes? Take up space in his own personal closet, just for some person he was sleeping with.

Your thoughts briefly flickered back to what Jeonghan had been trying to tell you before you had distracted him with sex but before you could think about it too much, Jeonghan’s door was creaking open again.

You saw him peak at the bed, a disappointed look crossing his face before you cleared your throat. His eyes flickered to yours and his head fell to the side. Without a word he walked over to the closet and grabbed one of his own shirts. He looked at you.

“Hands up,” he said softly. You did as you were told and Jeonghan slid his shirt onto you. He gave you a small smile and then quirked his head.

“Come on.”

Jeonghan led you to the bathroom, even though it really wasn’t necessary. You thought maybe it was because he genuinely was worried that you would leave. The shower was already running, and you expected Jeonghan to leave once you were inside, but instead he closed the door behind you two. You gave him a questioning look, but he just shrugged, raising a hand to his neck and glancing away from you.

“I thought maybe you would like some help.”

“Jeonghan, I don’t need help to take a shower,” you said. Jeonghan closed the distance between you two, his fingers coming to the hem of his shirt. His fingers briefly brushed your skin before he lifted the shirt back over your head. Once he had dropped the shirt on the floor he raised his hands to your hair, briefly brushing his fingers through it.

“I’ve always wanted to brush your hair,” he said softly. Your face burned hot under the attention. You rolled your eyes and cleared your throat.

“You’re really not going to take no for an answer,” you said with a sigh. Jeonghan’s eyes widened softly, and he pulled his hand away from you.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured. You pressed your lips together.

“Don’t be,” you mumbled. “I know my safe word.”

You stepped away from Jeonghan to step into the shower. You didn’t know how Jeonghan did it, but he always managed to have the shower at the right temperature.

“You can join me,” you said.

Jeonghan smiled.

“Well only if, you’re sure.”

He waited for your nod and vocal confirmation:

“I’m sure.”

Jeonghan climbed into the shower with you, but his focus was surprisingly on getting you clean. He had grabbed a clean washcloth from under the sink before getting in and he immediately put some soap on it to start running over you. You narrowed your gaze at the fruit scented soap you had never noticed before.

“One of your sluts leave that?” You asked. Jeonghan’s hand stilled from where it was rubbing soap suds onto your body. He looked up at you, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, it’s not Chaedom’s.”

You frowned at him, making him sigh.

“I bought it for you,” he said with a roll of his eyes. “As much as I liked you smelling like my body wash, you also smelled like every other boy in Alpha Mu.”

He focused back on cleaning you off, not elaborating on why he saw that as a problem. Not that you really needed him to elaborate. In all of your relationships, you had never taken a shower with anyone. Building on that, you had never had anyone touch you so gently.

Jeonghan was so focused too. Even though his hands were all over you it was clear he wasn’t trying to turn you on at all. Even though, him being so gentle was turning you on.

Jeonghan crouched down, rubbing your ankles with soap. You watched him for a second and then crouched down as well. Jeonghan looked up at you in surprise, his wet strands of hair falling in his face. You smiled at him and brushed the strands out of his face.

“You’re so weird Jeonghan,” you said softly. His eyes widened at your words. “Why are you being so gentle?”

“It’s after care,” Jeonghan responded as if it was obvious. You gave him a half-annoyed look.

“Even washing me is more after care than you normally give me.”

“Before I was scared of my feelings,” Jeonghan said. He thought about that for a second. “And yours.”

He cleared his throat and looked away from you.

“Besides, this might be the last time I see you. I want to make the most of it.”

Your heart hurt a little to hear Jeonghan say that, but you tried to push down the feeling.

“You worried about not having a pussy to creampie?” You asked, trying to keep the mood light. You laughed. “You gonna miss having someone who loves to be degraded by you so much?”

“I do love how you always do what I say,” Jeonghan replied, a smile flickering across his lips. “But you’re also the same girl who knows what she wants. Turned down Chan and threw a drink in Yeongtae’s face. All for me.”

You rolled your eyes.

“I turned down Chan to turn down Chan, not for you.”

“But you did turn down Yeongtae for me.”

You turned your eyes away from him, making Jeonghan sigh. He raised his hands to your face, turning you towards him. He stared at you for a few moments, his eyes flickering down to your lips before he reached over, putting some face wash in his hands. You groaned as Jeonghan start to lather the soap into your face. You let yourself fall back onto the floor of the shower, light-heartedly swatting away Jeonghan’s hands.

“Why’re you being so thorough?” You whined. Jeonghan just smiled, waiting for you to stop talking so that he could dip your head back under the flow of the water. He rubbed his fingers a little over your face until he was satisfied that all the soap was off of your face. He pulled your head back and grabbed a brush.

You groaned, but he ignored you starting to work the brush through your hair.

“Jeonghan you don’t need to be so thorough,” you insisted. Jeonghan just scoffed.

“Maybe I should have been helping you all this time. It seems that you were cutting corners,” Jeonghan mumbled.

“You know what’s nicer than a shower?” You asked Jeonghan. “Your bed. You have such a nice bed.”

Jeonghan rolled his eyes.

“You’re aging me,” he commented. He reached around to grab what you assumed was shampoo, He set the brush down and began to massage it into your scalp. You figured arguing with Jeonghan further was pointless, so you finally fell silent, resting your head on your hand while he cleaned your hair.

You watched Jeonghan’s eyes as he worked the soap into your hair, making sure to coat your whole scalp and get it even in the ends of your hair. His lips were quirked slightly up as he watched his own hands work through your hair. He was giving off such a strange aura.

“Y/n, you’re so beautiful,” Jeonghan mumbled. “More beautiful than anyone I’ve ever slept with.”

You didn’t want to humor him, so you didn’t respond to Jeonghan’s words. He didn’t mind.

“Do you remember the first time we met?” Jeonghan asked. You frowned slightly.

“Yeah, at the-”

“Not the party,” Jeonghan said with a shake of his head. “Freshmen orientation. I slept with your roommate.”

Your eyebrows furrowed, and you tried to catch Jeonghan’s eyes. It was pointless, he was too focused on your hair.

“We didn’t meet freshman orientation,” you denied. As you spoke, Jeonghan tilted your head back under the stream of water.

“Well, not entirely. I met your roommate immediately. The first few hours of freshman orientation and as soon as we got there, we skipped the first meeting to fuck in your dorm. You came in just after we had finished. You didn’t bat an eye. You were so nonchalant. You turned your back while your roommate got dressed and you two practically got to know each other while I just sat there and watched.”

Jeonghan laughed.

“And then you two just left me. You didn’t say a word to me.”

Jeonghan pulled your head forward again and then started to put conditioner in your hair.

“You never gave me the attention I wanted from you. Not then, and it drove me crazy. That whole weekend I was trying to get your attention without getting your attention.”

Jeonghan shrugged.

“Nothing. And then freshman orientation ended, and I thought I would never see you again.”

His fingers got caught in a knot in your hair and his eyebrows furrowed. He focused in on it.

“But we’ve had a few lectures together here and there. You make friends so easily. I just watched from afar.”

Jeonghan pushed your head back again under the stream of the water.

“Only at parties when you were forced to them by Jeongyeon. Never drinking when you did go. Nothing ever seems to phase you.”

Finally, Jeonghan’s eyes flickered to yours. You pressed your lips together, just taking in what Jeonghan had to say. You weren’t really sure what to think of all of this, but you forced yourself to stay in the moment. Just focus.

“When I say that I crave you, I mean it in a way you will never fully understand. I have wanted you since day one, but I have waited for you, and I never thought that I would have the chance to be with you.”

Jeonghan’s hands left your hair to cup your face with his hands. His eyes flickered to his thumbs that brushed over your cheek bones to your lips, your nose, and then back up to your eyes.

“And then I found you in my room and you were more amazing than I had ever imagined you would be.”

A sad look flickered over his face.

“I’m sorry I lied.”

“It’s okay,” you said softly. Jeonghan’s hands fell from your face, and he looked away from you.

“It’s not okay,” he replied. He cleared his throat and stood up. He leaned out of the shower and grabbed a towel, holding it out for you to walk into. You got back to your feet and did what you knew he wanted you to. He wrapped the towel around your body, and you turned around to look at him still standing in the shower. He pressed his lips together into a thin smile.

“I’m going to wash myself off. If you’re in my room when I get back, we’ll talk just a little bit more before we sleep okay?”

You opened your mouth, wanting to say something but no words left your lips. You didn’t know what today. You just nodded and did as he said.

Once you were in Jeonghan’s room your mind was racing and you were faced with your least favorite conflict of the mind. The choice between fight or flight.

You could leave now. Jeonghan was giving you the chance to leave, having already said what you assumed were the things he believed were most important to get out. If you left now you had a lot to think about.

Well, you had a lot to think about either way.

If you stayed, you could really talk through your feelings with Jeonghan. If you trusted him, you could really get some answers that you needed.

You thought for a while, drying your hair as you thought about what clothes to put on. You liked that Jeonghan had bought you all these clothes to wear while you were over but… Nothing hit quite like wearing one of his freshly washed shirts.

You put aside the thought and put on the pajamas he had gotten for you.

As you wrapped your hair in the towel that you had been left with you thought over the most important question in your mind.

Did you trust Jeonghan?

Could you trust Jeonghan?

It was a bit ironic that you weren’t really sure if you could considering you had done nothing but trust Jeonghan up until this moment. You trusted him not to hurt you. You trusted him to not tell others too much about what you two did. You even trusted that he wasn’t lying to you about the people that he was sleeping with.

Maybe that’s why it was a bit hard to trust him now.

You looked to where you had dropped your phone on Jeonghan’s floor when you first got in the room and you picked it up. There was a good way to test the validity of what Jeonghan had said.

You searched your contacts for the name of your freshman orientation roommate and let out a breath of relief when you found you still had it.

The phone rang only twice before Geumseong answered the phone.

“Hello? Y/n? Is everything alright?”

You pressed your lips together.

“Hi, yeah, no I’m fine I just… I had a weird question,” you replied. You gave it a seconds pause and then said: “Do you remember sleeping with anyone at freshman orientation?”

“Oh god, of course I do,” Geumseong replied. “That was the best sex that I’ve ever had in my life.”

“Do you remember…?”

“Yoon Jeonghan,” Geumseong said without much of a thought at all. “Fucking shame, he doesn’t sleep with anyone twice.”

You felt your heart pounding in your throat.

“Are you sure?” You asked, your voice kind of airy. Geumseong hummed a confirmation.

“How could I forget?” She asked. You sat there trying to figure out what exactly you were going to say back, but just then the door to Jeonghan’s room opened and Jeonghan appeared. To his credit, he look surprised.

“Okay, well, that was all I needed to ask. Thanks,” you said into your phone. “We should get together sometime.”

“We should!” Geumseong agreed. “I’ll call you later this week.”

The line between you and Geumseong disconnected and you dropped your phone to your lap. Jeonghan raised an eyebrow at you.

“So, you want to talk?”

“Let’s say I believe that you’ve liked me since freshmen year.” You did. Geumseong was practically undeniable proof. "Why did you never approach me?"

"Y/n, you’re too good for me.”

You blinked.

“Huh?”

Jeonghan turned away from you to get changed into pajama pants.

“I’ve never settled for anyone in my life,” Jeonghan replied. He turned around when he was dressed. “I just knew I was going to end up breaking your heart.”

Your eyebrows furrowed even further.

“So then why did you…?”

“Ever fuck with you?” Jeonghan finished. He closed the distance between you two and for a second you thought he was going to kiss you. Instead, he brushed past you, sitting on his side of the bed. “I’m selfish. You were right in front of me, and you wanted me. I honestly thought that maybe fucking with you would get you out of my system.”

Jeonghan laughed.

“I’m stupid,” he concluded. “You just became that much more irresistible to me.” He seemed to think for a few moments. “Did you ever wonder why I decided to retire to my room that night at the party?”

You thought about it for a moment.

“No,” you replied, but now that he brought it up, it was a bit odd.

“I was so angry that Jun introduced you to Chan. Would he have been good to you? Undoubtedly. But I wanted you. I couldn’t stop thinking about you two and looking over at you talking. Then you disappeared and I thought you were in Chan’s room…”

Jeonghan didn’t have to go on.

“Okay, so then why lie to me about being with other girls?” You pressed. Jeonghan sighed.

“I don’t know what it is about you, but you drive me crazy. I think about you all the time. Seeing you with other men when I want you is absolutely infuriating but you?” Jeonghan laughed airily. “It drove me crazy that you kept saying you didn’t care if I slept with other people. I needed you to be obsessed with me the way I was obsessed with you. So I lied.”

You glanced over at Jeonghan to find that this whole time he had been talking he had been staring at you. When your eyes met he looked away from you.

“And I kept lying because I thought that maybe the longer it went on, the further it got, then you would start to feel the same way I do,” Jeonghan stated. “But I think that I just ended up emotionally detaching you more.”

You didn’t respond because again you were at a loss for words. You didn’t think anyone had ever liked you as much as Jeonghan was making it seem like he did. Building off of that you had never thought anyone would ever like you as much as Jeonghan was claiming to.

And yet, here you were.

Jeonghan seemed to sense your internal struggle.

“You should sleep,” Jeonghan said softly. “Do you want me to sleep on the floor?”

It seemed Jeonghan just couldn’t stop surprising you.

“What? No. It’s your room, your bed-”

Jeonghan raised his hands in the air.

“Just want to give you space if you want it. Go to sleep then, okay?”

You didn’t think that you could fall asleep after this conversation with Jeonghan, but regardless you nodded.

“Right.” You laid down in his bed, taking note of the fact that he was pressed as far on his side of the bed as he could get. “Good night.”

“Good night,” he echoed.

But you couldn’t sleep. Minutes turned into hours and Jeonghan’s breath evened to the point where you knew that he was asleep. You propped yourself up on your elbows and looked over at his sleeping body. You thought carefully over his confession, running his words on repeat through your head.

Fuck, why was this so confusing?

He was in love with you. Well, he hadn’t said it in those exact words but you could feel it anyways. Looking back he had been fairly obvious about it. Every time he was with you, every time he held you, every time he kissed you he did it all as if it would be the last time he ever got to.

You knew how you should feel in this situation. You should feel relieved, and excited but your brain just refused to accept what Jeonghan was telling you as the truth.

It wasn’t because he had lied to you about sleeping with other people, even though you had made a big deal about it. You made a big deal about it because it didn’t make sense. Now you knew why he did it. Now it made sense. Even if it felt unreal.

Your lips pressed together as you watched Jeonghan. You kept having this feeling like everything was super complicated when in reality it wasn’t.

Jeonghan loved you.

Did you love him?

Part Seven: One Call Away

[davidtennantgenderenvy]

Addressing The Tinhatters: A Statement in Solidarity With @dtmsrpfcringe And Others

I've been active in this fandom for a little over a year, and in my time here I've kept my slate pretty clean. I try not to involve myself in drama and discourse, and when I see something I don't agree with online, most of the time I keep it to myself. I've been aware of the blogs I refer to in this post basically from the onset, but I've stayed quiet, partially to not come across as disrespecting others' opinions and preferences and partially to protect my peace and my own life as a creator. But what started as mostly harmless, if a bit unhinged and delusional, behavior, has turned on some fronts into unimaginable cruelty the likes of which I never imagined this fandom to be capable of. As someone who it seems people in this fandom have come to respect, I think it would be unfair and selfish for me to stay neutral any longer.

Fanfiction has been a genuinely transformative force in my life. It has helped me discover so much about my own relationships to love and desire, and I would never want to tell anyone that it is wrong for any ship to be that source of inspiration for them, including RPF. Nor do I think, as I've said, that it's inherently wrong to have speculative thoughts about David and Michael's sexualities. As someone who has been lucky enough to interact with David several times now, and probably will again, I choose not to do so myself in a public forum out of respect, but curiosity doesn't have to be invasive, and David and Michael being in loving partnerships with women certainly doesn't mean they can't be attracted to other genders too. There's nothing wrong with liking the idea of a relationship between David Tennant and Michael Sheen, or even, really, with believing they might have feelings for each other. If that's all you're doing, this post isn't about you. What I absolutely cannot excuse is the proliferation of hypocritical, nonsensical, and nasty rumors about the women in their lives.

Nothing Georgia Tennant or Anna Lundberg seems to do is ever good enough. Every expression of positivity is curated and phony, anything that could be perceived as negative vile and mean. I see these women attacked on a daily basis as partners, as mothers, as actresses. Georgia is simultaneously presenting a false ideal of a perfect, happy family for her own gains, while somehow at the same time being too irresponsible and incompetent to be a proper parent. Anna, a still young and up and coming actress herself, is expected to perform the ideal of an affectionate partner on social media, is perceived as unsupportive of Michael when she doesn't, when in reality she may simply be trying to make a name for herself in the industry without people solely associating her with the man she loves. Both of these women share in David and Michael's advocacy for marginalized communities, sometimes in different, more or less obvious ways. David and Michael are always brave and sincere, while Anna and Georgia's actions are always self serving and performative, though no evidence is ever given to indicate that the things they post or charities they support are any sort of cover or deflection. Nor are there ever any reasons given for their perceived lack of onscreen talent, other than that they're "boring" or don't have as many jobs as their husbands- never mind that both of them are in an extremely competitive industry and get perfectly respectable amounts of work, especially for mothers of young children. Worst of all, I've seen them accused of things as awful as child abuse and rape, all for the crime of simply being married to the wrong men. It's all so horribly gendered too, David and Michael often referred to as the "men" while Georgia and Anna are reduced to negative stereotypes of nagging, shallow gold diggers. As a fandom populated with so many queer people, many of whom, myself included, have found freedom from gender roles with Michael and David's characters' help, I thought we knew better.

I've been lucky enough to meet both David and Georgia now, and have witnessed firsthand the easy, joyful affection they have for each other when no one of consequence is watching, the way they giddily hold hands on the street and make each other laugh while tenderly looking into each other's eyes even and especially after sixteen years together. Georgia when I met her was incredibly kind, down to earth, and approachable, and my partner, who's met her several times more than I have, gushes about her constantly- how funny, authentic, and intelligent she is, and of course, how much she and David love each other, how they look out for each other and adore each other's flaws and quirks. David of course still gushes about Georgia every chance he gets in speeches and interviews, her strength and brilliance as well as her beauty, and Georgia, while maybe not always as effusive, shows her love for David in plenty of ways, the beautiful candid photos she takes of him, for instance. There's such a soft, painterly tenderness and fondness in them, for the man, not just the dazzling star everyone else gets to see. Her David, gentle, devoted, goofy, aging, melancholy, imperfectly perfect David. Where would we be without Georgia giving us these little glimpses of him? I suspect the same people who deride Georgia's social media presence as try-hard, cringeworthy, artificial, would feel a bit differently if one day they stopped coming.

I can't speak as clearly on behalf of Anna and Michael, but the accounts I've gotten of her and Michael's relationship from eyewitnesses have presented it as no less loving than David and Georgia's, albeit in slightly different ways. Even then, why should I have to? She doesn't owe me anything. I doubt anyone who's made the posts accusing Anna and Georgia of being nasty baby trappers has ever had children. There's no such thing as a perfect mother, and even one child is a massive task. It's normal to not be a shining ray of affection all the time, and Georgia I know more than makes up for it with her fierce love and support for her children in all of their endeavors. Georgia is also a diagnosed neurodivergent woman, and so many of the remarks I see directed at her are clearly discriminatory and often directed at women with her diagnoses. Everyone coos over how charming David is when he shows signs of being AuDHD, but the second his wife does too, she's careless and cold. And don't even get me started on when photos of Michael and David looking anything less than beatifically happy get interpreted as them being miserable due to their wives treating them so poorly. THEY'RE HUMAN BEINGS!!! NEUTRAL FACIAL EXPRESSIONS EXIST!!! WOULD YOU BE A SPARKLING RAY OF SUNSHINE IF YOUR DISNEYLAND RIDE GOT STUCK!!!

I say all this now not even because I think I have any hope of stopping the people in question, but because one of the main fighters on the front of the opposition, @dtmsrpfcringe, has been both a wonderful online friend to me and dealt with even worse abuse than that which gets hurled at Anna and Georgia on the daily. When my blog was briefly overrun by TERFs in light of the Tennant/Badenoch/Sunak drama, Tori was the first person to stand up for me, and as she recieves more vitriol in one day than I've ever experienced in my entire life online, I think I've taken far too long to do the same for her. This woman has dealt with doxing threats, attacks on her character, and most horrific of all, wishes of death upon her and her baby. No one would blame her for stopping, but she has remained steadfast in her mission to call bs where she sees it, and she shouldn't have to do it alone. Tori, I think you are so brave, and I am proud to stand in solidarity with you against the misinformation, meanness, and misogyny that threaten to corrupt this fandom we call home.

Even after all we've been through over the past couple of months, I still believe the Good Omens fandom and David and Michael's individual fandoms to be places of kindness, empathy, and inclusivity. Which is why such cruel behavior (because there's no other word for it) is utterly disappointing and baffling to me. You should be utterly ashamed of yourselves. You're the exact kinds of people David and Michael speak out against on a weekly basis, and I guarantee that if you engage in the kinds of behavior I've highlighted here, they would be disgusted with you. Or maybe they'd simply pity you, because your lives are so empty that you've decided the only way to fill them is to sacrifice the reputations and peace of innocent women on the altar of a relationship that in all likelihood takes place solely in your own heads.

And if you read all this and find you still ship David and Michael, which even I do sometimes, well, there's always polyamory.

I'm sleepy! good night and kindly fuck off! - Lauren

[genderqueerdykes]

Could you explain what being detrans is to me? I can’t find anything besides terf bullshit on the matter. I’m probably looking at it incorrectly but I genuinely don’t understand how someone could fake their gender for years and randomly decide to switch back, from my perspective as someone who’s known their (trans)gender identity since toddlerhood.

hello! yes i can!

detrans people are not "faking" their gender during the time they are transitioning. generally speaking, what happens is a person who thought transition was right for them finds out it is not. not every person who wants to transition or takes HRT finds out that it's right for them- there's no way to predict the changes that come with HRT, even if you're familiar with its effects. hormones affect everyone differently, and maybe someone starts undergoing HRT only to find out that it does not give them the effects its looking for.

many people socially transition and find that they do not being addressed the way they thought they would. many folks find that dressing, sounding and acting certain ways just aren't for them. again, nobody can predict what will happen during transition, and nobody can predict exactly how they would feel if they are seen or addressed by a certain way. sometimes transitioning to a gender that doesn't suit them makes them find an appreciation for another gender that they perhaps previously felt dysphoric or neutral about

many detrans people are actually still trans- many of which being nonbinary, genderqueer, genderfluid, multigender, and more. there are so many reasons why someone may transition, some people even detransition to avoid transphobia. some people transition in very transphobic areas and find the pressure too much, and go back to being stealth or closeted. try not to assume that the person is "faking" anything- it feels real to them at the time. just because someone changes their mind does not mean they were faking anything

identity can and does change. i didn't know i was trans until i was 18 or 19 year old. not everyone figures out they're trans during childhood. i had to be told what the word transgender even was at my local college's pride group. i had never heard it before. this doesn't make me any less of a trans person, nor anyone else. detrans people are human just like anyone else. just because someone doesn't figure out their identity right away doesn't mean they're faking anything. just because someone changes their mind after finding out something wasn't right for them doesn't mean they were faking

there is nothing wrong with being detrans. the terves you see online are a small, vocal minority. in reality, i know many detrans people who are still trans or gender non conforming, way more than i've ever met who have detransitioned and become hateful towards trans folk. the topic deserves to be approached with grace, kindness and respect- it may be worth reading into these subreddits, as opposed to using tumblr for this one. these two subs do not allow transphobia, terf or gender critical ideologies:

r/detransition_support

r/actual_detrans

[pomefioredove]

angelum

summary: morally insecure reader type of post: fic characters: rollo additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, yuu is at nbc now, hurt/comfort, a little fluffy, extremely self indulgent, rollo is ptsd coded as per usual

Perhaps he didn't know you as well as he thought.

But then again, perhaps he didn't want to.

Rollo had become accustomed to the comfortable home you had made yourself within his mind, warm and comforting and far, far away from the dark crevices he worked so hard to stave off.

It mirrored reality, in a sense; he saw it as his duty to keep you safe and away from all the evils of the world, the magic and sin and those who would lead you astray... some days, he felt that he could shrug the rest of his life off his shoulders and solely devote himself to your keeping. Others, he was bothered by nasty thoughts of doubt, those that told him he was only doing to you now what he couldn't have done all those years ago.

Rollo kept himself occupied enough to avoid thinking about it too much.

He did not see a reason to tell you of his mission, of course. You- pure, perfect, untainted by the sins of this world- wouldn't understand. No one would. But you never questioned it, either. Most days, you were simply happy to be treated well (the implications of which he did not want to dwell on; Rollo had made himself a promise not to pry too much about your experience at Night Raven College).

Always so grateful. So kind. Too kind, sometimes, that it caught him off guard. Rollo had not had a friend since...

...Never mind, that.

So perfect. So pure. Everything he could ever aspire to be, but never would, all captured in one person. An angel sent for him, and him alone.

But just as there were things you wouldn't understand about him, there was a sea of mysteries about you.

He can't imagine how you could cause yourself such grief.

Delicately holding your face between his hands, palms gently pressed to each wet, salty cheek, as if you were made of porcelain. He wipes away your tears with his thumbs, not bothering to pull away to retrieve his handkerchief. He can't even think of that right now. Seeing you in such pain is tearing him into halves.

"I'm a bad person,"

"No," he says, almost immediately. His voice sounds more desperate than he would have liked. He can't help it.

"I am,"

He had already spent thousands of nights wishing for some miracle that could heal unseen wounds, but that desire had become stronger than ever now. He would have gladly torn his heart out of his chest and given it to you if it would help.

He hates it. He hates that you make him feel this way. He hates himself for caring so deeply.

Yet, he still can't hate you.

Never you.

"You're not," he insists. "Tell me what's happened. I will make it better."

You don't respond, and it kills him. However you managed to get such an awful idea about yourself, he can't say. Perhaps it came from Night Raven College. Perhaps it's even older than that.

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, because it is not true.

It's not true.

It's not true.

After all, if you are a bad person, then what does that make him?

You avoid his eyes. "You can't," there's long pause to take a shaky breath. "You can't make it better. I've tried... I've been trying... it doesn't go away. It's like... I've been shattered into a million pieces, and I can't be put back together again."

Rollo winces, though he doesn't show it on his face.

There are these things you do, these brief moments, soft exchanges of words, certain looks on your face, that remind him all too much of himself.

He pities you. He pities himself.

"Stop it," is all he can think to say. "Do not say such things about yourself. You are not broken. You are not evil. Do you think I would dirty myself by associating with such people?"

You're quiet for a long moment. He does not like the silence, so he keeps talking.

"I cannot address what you won't tell me, thought you should know that no matter what you were told at Night Raven College or elsewhere, here, you are valued. You are wanted. You are the most..."

Rollo hesitates for a moment, taking but a second to compose himself and rephrase whatever it was he was about to say.

"...the most exceptional student I have ever met. Your humility is honorable, but I will not allow you to drown in it. Let yourself feel this, recover, but know that here, at Noble Bell, you are nothing less than an angel."

Failing to find anything else to say, another long silence is cast over the room, though this one significantly less tense than the last. The only noise between the two of you is of crackling fire, though it sounds miles away when he looks at you like this.

Eventually, you speak. "...Thank you,"

"My pleasure," he mumbles, finally releasing the hold he's had on your face for the past several minutes and leaning back to get a better look at you. "...Let me help."

He sits a little closer, bringing your head to rest on his shoulder as he's done a thousand times before within the private confines of his room. Though, this time feels...

The purple and gold of his handkerchief cloud your vision as he gently dabs at your tears until he's satisfied, which he marks with a soft hum.

"Don't get up yet," he says after, allowing you to lean against his body for much longer than he has before. "The fire is still warm."

[ishomieokay]

Terms of Endearment in Spanish: A Guide for Fic Writers

I saw someone doing this for terms of enderment in Italian and wanted to share one of my own in Spanish.

If you want Pedro Pascal or I dunno, freakin' Pablo Escobar (yeah there are fics of him, apparently) to call you/your oc/another character a cute nickname, follow this guide!

Gender Neutral

Mi amor - my love

A bit overused tbh but you can never go wrong with the classics!

Amorcito - little love

Mi cielo - my heaven or my sky

Mi alma - my soul

I almost never see this one in fiction but it's soooo sweet. If your character comes from a barrio or is some type of lowbrow gangster/criminal you can also make him say mi arma. It iterally means my weapon but it's also mi alma mispronounced. I would kill to see this in a mafia love story tbh.

Mi bien - my good

I'm not sure how to explain this one but if someone calls you this they are basically saying that you are everything good in their life. It's very old-fashioned, though, so take that into account.

Corazón - heart

Female

Bella - beauty

Linda or bonita - pretty girl

Princesa - princess

Mi reina - my queen

Mami or mamita - mommy

I know that for English speakers this one is weird, but this is actually the most common term of endearment in Latin America. It's a flirtatious way to address a woman, similar to "baby" or "sweetheart".

Consider the character's country when using it! If they are from Spain, they are not likely to use this word. On the other hand, if they are from a Caribbean country the word won't necessarily have a flirtatious meaning to them. There mami is a form of endearment that can be used with girlfriends but also with any female friend or relative.

Mi vida - my life

This one is tecnically gender neutral, but it's mostly used to refer to women.

Male

Papi or papito - Daddy

Unlike it's English equivaleng, to call someone papi in Spanish is not inherently sexual. The same rules that apply to mami apply to papi. It's very common and in some Carribbean countries it can be used in a platonic way with friends and family. Even men may call each other this, although usually in a joking manner.

Mi rey - my king

Guapo - handsome

Mostly used in Spain.

Osito - pookie bear

Mi marido - my husband

This one's a tricky one. You never say it to the man's face. It's what you call him when you are talking about him to other people, even if you are not actually married. It's a way of saying that your relationship with him is serious and it usually has a very possesive connotation.

This is not an extensive list but I hope it helps! I may add other nicknames later.