#get that gay man looking visibly queer again

[vampire-fanboy]

wow do you ever see something so ooc to a point they physically dont look like them bc someone changed their identity

[casiavium]

About to go on vacation with my friends and while I do like them and their company if I have to deal with one oh I love every woman ever too bad I'm stuck with my stinky gamer bf how ever did you manage to get a girlfriend I am going to fucking snap

[vanitasmagoria]

ok i'm eight episodes past it but playthings won't leave me tf alone. so here's a little queer reading of sam and dean's reactions to the antiquer allegations.

so clearly dean's awkward, shifty-eyed, fake-laughy reaction is very closet case coded. but sam? he spent absolutely zero seconds thinking about that reply. just deadpanned it instantaneously. which implies that this is something he's taken notice of before, contemplated it, and came to this particular conclusion himself. like this is how he's profiled dean in his head. and the delivery of it is so nonchalant. dean acts like he's being made fun of, but sam seems to just be making a statement, matter-of-factly. this is not his bitchy face or his teasing voice.

so with all this in mind, let's go back to the scene at the reception:

here, dean is visibly uncomfortable (as is susan, of course), and sam – while also a little rattled from having just been offered a king-sized bed to share with his brother – quickly jumps in and changes the subject. we can still see dean reeling for a moment after that (and he was fixating on it enough to bring it up again later). but doesn't this diffusing the situation seem very protective of sam, looking back? like he's shouldering dean's facework by very quickly pivoting off the offending subject (a bit of goffman for context)

dean's not as straight-passing as he thought he was, and sam is trying to protect his (fragile) ego/masculinity/feelings.

in conclusion: dean has some ISSUES with his (most likely queer) sexuality. meanwhile sam is not only comfortable with his own sexuality (whatever it may be – these scenes could just as well read as a straight man wholly unbothered by gay allegations or a queer man wholly unbothered by being clocked as queer – really the only thing that seems to get under sam's skin is the brotherfuckery) but he is also more comfortable with dean's sexuality than dean is.

[solarmagickstar]

Not super into Jessie Gender, but I watched their video on "how we talk about trans men" and I've gotta say it was disappointing asf.

As a trans masc/guy I feel like I can't really have an opinion? Like for me it's like I'm too scared to be angry, like if I am it's just gonna be thrown back at me like "oh it must be those testosterone hormones coming out" or "well of course your all angry your a man" like men can't be sensitive at all or something? It's almost always said in a way to "give me euphoria" cause that's how we're supposed to treat men.

At times it really feels like we're being pushed out of queer spaces because we'll if your a guy you wouldn't wanna be a part of the marginalised group ya know cause "we're escaping to get to privilege" right?

I don't feel like our experience with gender is allowed to be expressed openly and we're absolutely not allowed to be GNC. And honestly the same could probably be said for GNC trans fems too, I don't see a lot of them either.

I feel like in Jessie gender's video they kinda didn't *actually* wanna sit with what they said originally? Like when it came to the Barbie movie I wanted to participate in the conversation of girl hood and how that's still relevant to me and how it's shaped me as the person I am today, how much I enjoyed the Ken dolls experience and how they played with masculine fashion in a way I hadn't seen in a while. But honestly I felt like well this movies for the girls so I probably shouldn't say anything.

Sometimes I wonder if we partially do this to ourselves because a lot of us keep to ourselves and don't really wanna be seen half the time. I haven't talked to the trans masc I knew since we all left Facebook, it's so lonely out here and the more I look for trans content the more I see trans fems and basically only white trans masc (with like maybe 2 poc ones but is that really all we get?) It makes me feel like I don't exist. The only places I can see poc trans masc viking or existing is on sites run by a variety of trans people or is run by a trans masc person living free.

When I see that I think, thank god your fucking real. Thank god I see someone like me thriving and existing out there.

I wanna see more of y'all, like actually see y'all, I feel like I'm fading away as more and more content keeps talking about how bad trans fems (oh and non binary but let's not define what you mean or who you're talking about we just throw them in there cause let's be more inclusive right? But only to you? Great) but the amount of trauma that's in the trans masc community is horrific and is not talked about or addressed at all.

In men's spaces there's not room for queer most of the time, so to find a place to belong and essentially get told my issues aren't as important or that trans fems ("and nonbinary" cause again you're lying to yourself by saying this even if your non-binary) then you're fundamentally missing out on our lives. I don't even feel like we have enough data on us because even the trans masc get lumped in with nonbinary or GNC like that's just fucking normal.

I remember a study was out on trans masc and GNC women about how often all of us deal with sexual assault and it's the closest I've seen and it wasn't even good findings it was depressing. I wish I could find it again. But again that study put us with GNC (pretty sure it was cis) women!

Please not this is coming from someone who's been SA'd pre and post coming out as trans. Did you know some people see us as a way to see if they're gay or bi? Like experiment on us, get us drunk and tell us we should just take it because "well you're supposed to be a man right?" We can't even get to these conversations yet and I'm worried we never will.

Do we even exist? Are we allowed to voice our opinions? Are we allowed to be mad? Are we allowed to be upset with our community? Can we do our own studies? Should we be more visible? I'm scared to, I don't wanna show my face I'm a very private person, but do I need to address that? Is that a bad thing? Is it perpetuated by my environment?

I don't know and honestly I just wanna see more variety of trans masc people, I'm scared we're just gonna stay under the radar and continue to deal with the bullshit we always have.

Ps. Jessie gender 100% did the I have a trans masc friend, no matter how much they said "I'm not doing that" they literally were doing it and there was almost no self reflection on that at all. This wasn't really the video I think they thought it was cause all it did was tell me they don't talk to us very often and that at this point I've just seen heart reacts to comments on their video's comments and not any actual responses to what anyone's said on there. It'll be a process I get it but this video was not good at all and I feel like any trans masc who's getting excited about being seen by a bigish YouTuber is like me desperate for anything validation cause that's kinda how starved we are out here tbh.

[genderqueerdykes]

it has taken me a very long time to undo the violent lesbophobia that was drilled into me from a young age. being visibly intersex and masculine made it hard, getting called dyke, butch, lesbo, lezzie, everything, like it was the end of the world, like being a lesbian was a fate worse than death. i ran from it for a long time, wanting to be anything but, not because I saw with my own eyes that lesbianism was bad, but because that's what everyone said. if i was to be queer, i needed to be a gay man, because men are men and therefore happy and desirable, and at least gay men can get by being comedic relief. if i were to consign to being a lesbian, I'd never make friends ever again, they told me

i finally met lesbians, spent time with them, and spent hours and hours reading through historical lesbian literature, art, love letters... and i found myself. finally. i found people who looked, sounded, and acted like me. i found people asking the questions that kept me up at night. i found freedom and liberty. i found friends, i found community, i found lovers. i found that the misery was projected, and that that the love that lesbians share for themselves and one another is powerful, sacred and unabashed. to realize you're a lesbian is a celebration. to be a lesbian is a gift. it brings joy, and isn't anywhere near as uncomfortable as cishet society would love to tell you. it's natural to us just as bearing fruit is natural to trees and bushes.

[alarrytale]

I do feel sorry for Louis because I think he suffers from internalised homophobia from growing up in Doncaster where he would have witnessed his peers being bullied for being gay. Unlike Harry who has two gay managers, gay band members, support acts and close friends like Alessandro who are gay, Louis is largely isolated from his community as an adult especially when he's touring.

Hi, anon!

I disagree with you that Louis suffers from internalised homophobia. I think you are reading this all wrong and like the gp would. I've talked about this before too.

Louis probably grew up in a place where gay was used as a slur by kids, that i agree with. However, when Louis moved to London i think that was very freeing for him and he blossomed. Louis is proud of being gay and proud of his relationship with Harry. Louis has a triangle tattoo ffs, and half his tattoos is complementary to H's tattoos. He was behind the bears too. He sings i love him i hate it and has songs about holding H at an Ed Sheeran concert. He's bathing his fans in rainbow lights at his concerts.

The reasons why it might seem like he's suffering from internalised homophobia is because he is harshly closeted. Probably one of the worst cases of unwillingly closeted in history. Believe me, if he had a choice he'd be out and proud. Both him and Harry has been banging on the closet door for years wanting out. It hasn't been as visible these last few years perhaps, but he does what he can to tell us who he really is. You just need to look past the surface and his constructed het image to see he's gay and closeted. I don't neccessarily think Louis would be the poster child for gay men when he's out and go to pride etc, but that doesn’t mean he isn't proud of who he is and hasn't accepted he's gay.

I think Louis is close to his childhood friends, and they know about him and H and support him. Louis doesn’t have as many public friendships with queers, that's true, but then again he's more harshly closeted than H is. He is being kept from his community, but that's due to his closet. He does have queer openers and he does have queer members on his touring team, but i get what you mean.

Louis' public twitter account has been one of the most important tools for closeting him. People think it's him tweeting and it has a wide reach. It's easy, because it's low effort and high reward. You hide behind a screen and you don’t have to stunt or say anything on camera where the lies can easily be detected. It's super effective and to the point. You can gaslight the fuck out of people. You get the narrative you want out there. Everything that "Louis" says on twitter shouldn't be trusted. Same with things in printed interviews.

It's a fight to look behind all the bullshit and gaslighting they throw at us, but don't let them fool you into thinking he's an insecure, scared man who hasn't yet accepted he's gay and isn't proud of it. That's simply not true.

[pinkyjulien]

🌈 Queerness in CyberPunk 2077

I wanted to make this post earlier this month but got caught up in modding shenanigans, as per usual~

BUT! It's still June, still pride, so here it is :>

▶ DISCLAIMER

All of this is my analyses, headcanons, of different characters, some of them not confirmed at all in anyway or form! I'm a queer man myself, but I do not claim to know everything about queerness and being queer, everyone experience the game and interpret the characters differently 🤲 This is only my opinions, based off canon game events, clues, hints, as well as developpers's tweets, streams, files datamining etc etc Please do not see this thread as an attack, or as something invalidating! I'm more than curious to heard what you think about my personal analyses, if you agree, if you don't, and why! If you think other characters also display hints of queerness I'd love to hear it too! 💙

This picture is an update I did in 2022 of lil collage I did back in 2021~

I posted the first version on Reddit back in 2021 and it created this whole "what do mean JOHNNY is GAY?" (because a rainbow behind a man automatically means he's Gay and nothing else right) and a lot of biphobia over his character in particular (gasp- THE rockerboy?! Biseggsual?? In my viddy game??)

▶ You can look at the thread here and have a lil laugh

SO, NATURALLY, after doing the 2022 collage, I went and uploaded it to reddit once again! Because triggering bigots and seeing them stumble over their own tongues trying to debunk everything is really funny ✨

However, I instantly muted the thread and let it rot in its own sauce for some days, weeks, only coming back to it later and Oh Boy 👀

I did a thread on Twitter last year exploring everything that was said on the thread and explaining why I put certain characters on it

Thought it'd be cool and fun to re-explore that and share my thoughts with y'all here SO LETS GET BACK TO IT 😌🤙

▶▶▶

I'll mainly paste screenshots of what I already said on my twitter thread, but I might add some things there and there!

Damn I was kinda pissed off back then HGHFHGF but yeah, this is also the reason I won't ever make any straight or super straight flags I do not headcanon Delamain as Asexual, as there isn't any confirmation anywhere that he's interest in that kind of interaction or not, but I'll come back to him later!

Goro being canonly Queer is often missed, and this surprises me, considering he's one of the popular character! He is interested (or not) equally in both Fem and Masc V, giving he's replying to them the exact same ways! This isn't something done randomly by the devs :)

As said in the tweet, there isn't any direct and clear evidence of Mitch and Scorpion being a couple! Their relationship is heavily queer coded and queer people are more easily picking up on it than non-queer peoeple (and that's normal) Gay men have called their male partner Friend, Best friend and Brother through history maaaany many time, and that's part of my interpretation of their relationship too, especially giving they're both veterans who fought in the same war. The poem Mitch wrotes during "I'll Fly Away" (heavily implied) is romantic and gay coded, the gay novel in Mitch's tent (confirmed to be on purpose) is what we call environnemental story telling, it's subtle but adds to a character's backstory and lore! As for the datamining, I found a Mitch awkwardly explaining to V that no, Saul doesn't have any say in whatever he's doing with Scorpion stuff "because.... because... eh, that's just family stuff"

Note on Delamain here because I've heard it even caused some drama here on Tumblr that I said that? He uses He/Him to describe himself, the Main Entity, but multiples of his splites entities uses She/Her, meaning he's literally Non-Binary in how his entity is formed (I find it really cool for an AI ngl ngl) However if my headcanon offended anyone, I apologize! and I'd love to hear others interpretation :3

There isn't any open and visible MLM gay couple in Cyberpunk 2077! Bouncing off ElvenBeard's amazing analyses and thoughts on Kerry's sexuality, he can be seen as Bisexual (confirmed by RTAL themselves) and Homosexual (confirmed by the devs before and after the game released) he can be Both and Both are correct depending on how you view his character and how he grew from his past relationship (Bisexual with a masc preference, Bisexual who have to heal from his marriage, Gay man who realized his sexuality later after a wonky marriage, etc)

The whole "Responsability=Wife" Takemura take angers me to no end, taking its roots in heteronormativity- We see Goro care for his job above all else, to me that's what his "responsability" is and always was; his job

Nothing more to add here- Jackie's only relationship we see in game is with Misty, this doesn't confirm nor deny anything! (However with how he react to V pushing him, lip-bitting and all regardless of gender, I can totally see him as being queer)

AND That's about it!

It was interesting to dig into that thread last year and thought I'd share that here, as a refresher that Johnny is Bi, Takemura too, and smaller characters like Mitch and Evelynn still have clear hints of queerness to them ✨

I really like how CP77 touches on queerness, it feels realistic, it doesn't feel forced; which, sadly, create this problem of "UH?? This is pure LIES" if a character's sexuality is not splattered in your face, which then create the "Ugh why does it have to be forced down our throat" complains

Something something, lesson here is that people will always complain about queerness, be it loud, be it subtle, so fuck it! Scream it, go apeshit over small details, over-analyse everything cause chances are: this is intentional!

More Characters

I later noticed that Regina have a naked lady tattooed on her forearm, and since we know nothing is done randomly in CDPR's video games, makes me think that she might be sapphic in some way ✨

Mateo is also one of my fav "potential queer", how he could be a trans man, but there isn't anything really to support that other than that one interaction with V

▶ Link to the updated collage Reddit Thread

▶ Link to my Twitter breakdown

[paladibun]

personal gay/bi mike ramblings & other late night thoughts //

Been thinking about how I relate way more to gay Mike as a bi dude rather than to bi Mike. (This isn’t whos interpretation is right or anything) I’ve seen the post that was like both gay byler would portray different experiences under one label and show that no label outright owns a specific experience. A bi Mike’s arc would be more about choices in relation to others with less introspection and a gay Mike’s arc would explain internal turmoil and self depreciation in relation to a queer identity and the need to hide it, which would require more of it . And ofc gay people don’t own this flavor of experience but in Mike’s case would explain his actions if under that lense for me personally. Also noticed the later headcanon is more prevalent for those with a bigger Mike bias than Will which is interesting.

Also thinking about what a mess or I guess how much ambiguity there is in both Will & Mike’s characterization when it comes to their relation to their sexualities which ultimately causes people to develop strong opinions and get angry when people get their arcs or dynamics wrong. The thing is that the Duffers like ambiguity - it gives them freedom and they also don’t like to state things outright when it comes to identities and very important sociopolitical issues while trying to be “realistic” /half-neg ( ex: Karen & Nancy talking about feminism without mentioning women, the way Robin’s coming out was handled without mentioning any gay words while the show is comfortable using homophobic words )

Anyway almost got heated on a completely separate topic.

It is sometimes confusing as to what is meant to be presented as a “Will Arc” and a “Mike Arc” On the one hand Will struggles from overt homophobia from others and from Lonnie growing up, on the other hand he has Joyce, Jonathan, Mike, and the party who adore him and while I doubt Will understands that they would accept him no matter what, there’s definitely an earlier self acceptance in his identity as a hyper-visible gay man(you can see it with the Turing Project & the bravery with the painting). I define internalized homophobia as “a set of complex contradicting behaviors based on society’s homophobia and heteronormative pressures” and some people define it as “being sad that people are being homophobic to someone” I think both Will and Mike have degrees of both and sometimes it’s hard to see how much of either both characters have. And for Mike, it solely depends on how you read his sexuality thus explaining his actions and feelings. Again, it is vague which I think is humanizing and realistic.

I won’t touch the dynamics topic until the tag evolves beyond late stage fandom spoon/fork binarization of gay relationships but just noting that aspect of byler isn’t void of complexity.

One last thought for the night:

Just looking at the fandom and noticing unfortunate patterns. Mainly the desire to be right above all else and largely at the expense of collective fun and creativity which is like the main point of fandom. I think it comes mostly from having to fight the GA and m*levens to prove we aren’t crazy (insert Joyce Byers gif here) a year ago and that mentality sticking for way too long. Like the desire to to defend your thoughts and feel your feelings strongly about a topic is amazing and is another big fandom driver but at some point people getting angry for fanon, headcanons, people having fun making things in a way that isn’t popular loud accounts approved is honestly concerning. I see it a lot from the side I agree with too and it’s like. We can do better right? Not everything needs to be activism tinged?

Anyway anyway thanks for reading this far I’m passing the whole fandom edibles as we collectively rewatch the source material and resetting our very “seeing red at posts we disagree with” adled brains. 💕

[drdemonprince]

hi sorry if this is kinda ramble-y. im an 25+ introverted acearo who has never kissed or dated or "experimented" in high school/college cuz i was too focused on my grades and i think i'd would like to try sex once just see what all the fuss is about but i am also afab non-binary and i'm not "visibly trans" so i just get misgendered a lot as a "cis woman." would you have any advice on trying to not feel gender dysphoria when having sex? like, i feel like if i got flirted with by a cishet man or a cis lesbian woman, i feel like i would feel awkward and dysphoric like they are only attracted to me bc i look like a "woman" and also kinda bad like i am wasting their time. should i try to just put something in a dating/tinder/idk (dating app here) profile like "t4t" or my they/them pronouns or "ace4bi/pan" or "ace4other sex-favorable/curious aces" or a little trans flag emoji or something and hope people take the hint?

while i think i would prefer a 1-on-1 meeting for my first time, i also was worried about going to places like a total stranger's apartment/house/hotel alone and i had briefly thought about trying a public sauna since it did seem safer for the reasons that you gave to previous anon that there would be others around and security, but my city's gay baths is pretty. dinky? if google reviews of 2/5 stars are to be believed, it's kinda gone downhill since 2011 on facilities maintenance/showers/hot tub not working, etc., and is very pricey compared to other bigger cities' bathhouses. just generally disappointing i guess? and as an afab looking person, i think would only be allowed to go in on sundays which i think is their all genders day according to the website? but still, from my outward appearance, i was worried that i would get misgendered by any who approach me as a "girl" or get thought of as that stereotypical cishet girl invading gay bars/queer spaces, etc.

also, i dont like being touched on basically my entire torso/back or neck area, only limbs i think.

do you have any advice for a non-binary curious ultra-virgin/late bloomer with too many conditions for an ideal partner? should i just. try to think real hard about not thinking about getting misgendered and ignore any bad vibes/cbt/gaslight myself out of it??

or should i give up since i doubt that other extroverts who are experienced with no touch aversion issues and just looking to party/have a quick hook-up and have a good time would want to deal with introverted me and my picky-ness and gender/touch issues ruining their weekend/wasting their time?

(also i did kinda look into that surrogacy sex therapists/councilors that are apparently a thing now?? but they look like they're mostly in the cooler PNW/west coast areas. im stuck in plain boring uhh let's say think of ohio-pennsylvania-virginia tri-state area suburbs with limited car transportation. but i can get around the city by bus. its not even the cool east coast, its like mid-atlantic/midwest ugh. even some of those cuddle parties/councilors i had thought of for trying to lessen my touch-aversion are mostly west coast and texas for some reason?? my region is just too boring....)

(again sorry if this is a long ask! ^ ^ )

You should hire a sex worker!! When you're looking for something specific and you don't want to play the field it's a great great time to support your local sex workers and ask for exactly what you want. They'll treat you right. Try Tryst !

[trailerparkbard]

Dancin' in the Dark [Part One] (A Gay Bar/Eddie Bartender AU)

shoutout to Bruce Springsteen a master of queer feelings ✌️

Pairing: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson, Steve Harrington & Robin Buckley (Steve Harrington/OMC, Robing Buckley/OFC -- it's a gay bar au in the 80s friends, I'm sorry.)

Fandom: Stranger Things

Rating: T for right now but u know how it goes.

Content Notes: ehhh light feminization (nicknames)

The basement bar is loud and warm and crowded with bodies. Smoke from dozens of cigarettes fills the room, makes it feel shrouded like a dream. It is a dream in some ways. That this place exists at all is unbelievable. That it exists in the periphery of Hawkins is a fucking miracle.

The metal door slams shut behind them and they startle, shake out of the trance of ‘holy shit it’s real’ and move forward to become part of the tableau not just spectators. It feels like his first swim meet. Stepping up to the water with everyone’s eyes on him. Their expectations and his own, heavy around his neck as he slides in, proves he deserves to be here.

“Drinks first?” Robin asks and he ignores the slight shake in her voice and nods, eyes wide to match her own.

They move to the bar as one. Skin and hair, denim and flannel and leather and cotton and glass graze them, test them as they slowly make their way to wooden bar. Steve swears he felt a hand on his ass but doesn’t look back, doesn’t check, just blushes and keeps moving. He’s not used to this role. New meat, the pursued, young, unmoored and electrified.

They both cling to the sticky surface of the bar like it’s a sanctuary. Elbows and forearms anchoring them against the swell of bodies and desire. Steve looks sideways at Robin, pushing his hair back. Playing it off. Playing it cool. She sends him a grin in return, sees him. Before he can huff and tell her to shut up a pale hand covered in chunky jewelry knocks the wooden space between them. They both jump and turn their attention to the bartender. He smiles at their surprise, at seeing the same expression on two separate faces, all thick lips, sharp teeth and laugh lines.

He flips a stained bar towel over his shoulder and leans in to say “Welcome my little gay club virgins.” He lowers his lashes and takes his time strolling up Steve’s visible body from chest to hair like it’s nothing. ”What can I do you for?” and it is truly the worst line that has ever been uttered so seriously to Steve Harrington. But it hits its mark because he feels himself turning red, losing his focus. He forgets to scoff and roll his eyes. Just stands there with his mouth parted for a beat too long.

Robin laughs in his face, breaks the moment. “Dude. Does that ever work?” The bartender cackles and winks at her, at Steve. “Nah. But you can’t blame a guy for trying.” His smile is radiant. Joyful. Steve wants to feel that — to flirt without concern at anyone who catches his eye and not worry about anything — no fists or threats or his own corniness.

The guy pulls back, his his curly hair moving around him like it’s alive, acting on his manic energy. He slaps his palms on the bar rhythmically and raises his eyebrows, waiting.

“Two Miller Lights?” Steve orders — asks, like an idiot. He hums, leans forward again, invades Steve’s personal space. “I don’t know man. You sure you’re legal?” His eyes are deep brown and sparkling and Steve feels himself getting lost in the gaze. Opens his mouth to say something witty and sharp.

“Eddie!” Snaps someone else behind the bar and Eddie jerks away like he’s been smacked. “Stop flirting and get to work. We have a line, kid.” Eddie pouts and it’s theatrical. Steve wants to bite his lower lip, is shocked by that desire. “You’re so mean, Wayne,” he whines but obediently pulls out two bottles and pops the tops off. He leans back over, one beer in each hand and looks from one to the other, assessing. He’s serious now, voice lower. Something shifted. “If anyone gives you trouble come find me.” His eyes are on Steve. He waits for a nod before he releases the glass and moves back. Winks and twirls to the next customer. Leaving Steve and Robin alone to look at each other and laugh, yelling “What the hell?” with their eyebrows.

They turn their back to the bar and, protective beers in hand, scan the crowd. It's 11:30 on a Friday night and Steve and Robin breathe into the world of possibility around them.

By beer number three they're dancing together, wild and free. Loose-limbed and laughing in a way they haven't in a while -- and never around others. All the anxiety from earlier vanishing under a varnish of sweat.

Steve feels giddy when strong hands circle his waist, pull him close. He leans back into the hard chest of the man who's made his move, silently screaming "oh my god, oh my god" at Robin like he is an actual virgin. Robin is grinning and trying to tell Steve without words how hot he is, how he should go for it. He shores himself up and spins around, hands already reaching up to loop around a stranger's neck before he even knows what he looks like.

It's a thrill when this man tugs him close, lets Steve feel his dick's attention through his jeans. He's got a mustache. It's not Steve's favorite look but he's into it tonight. He's into it now. The guy grips his ass and Steve feels like he's on fire. They make out right there on the dance floor surrounded by other couples doing the exact same thing. It's messy, wet, a little too much and just enough. Steve loves it.

He pulls away when the song changes, realizes he Robin isn't next to him anymore. He looks around and finds her swaying in time with a girl. Robin's fingers are tugging a little wayward curl from her perm as she leans close. Steve allows himself a moment of internal applause for her moves, the student learning from the master. He relaxes into feeling safe and sways his way back to the bar for another round.

It takes Eddie a moment to notice him in the row of bodies vying for his attention and access to liquor. He slides over, ignoring the folks waiting, gives Steve a warm smile with a little wickedness tucked into the corner.

"Can I get--" Eddie puts up one finger and presses it against the lips of the guy who tried to jump into the silence to order. "Shhh, wait your turn. Princess comes first." He exaggerates his attention, drapes himself over the bar, curls a hand under his chin and blinks (big, beautiful) eyes at Steve. "Having fun, princess?" he asks like there's not a crowd around them trying to get a drink. Steve frowns at the nickname but it doesn't last. He feels too good, this guy is ridiculous and he likes it. "'M not a princess but yeah, Eddie, I'm having fun." Eddie's face lights up like this is the best news he's received all evening. He clutches his chest. "Aww! princess! You learned my name!"

"It's Steve," says Steve with a huff. Eddie laughs, pop's the top to his next bottle and passes it over.

"Oh sweetheart, I know what your name is," Eddie purrs. Steve feels heat prickle and rush all over his body -- can't form a response before Eddie is already gone, moved on to the next person trying to find get some social lubrication.

Steve dances the rest of the night away. Kisses three more men and is completely hard by the time the lights flick on. It's the best night he's ever had.

He finds Robin curled in a booth with the same girl as before. They're kissing and Robin has her hand on her neck and she has her hand on the side of Robin's boob. Steve slides into the seat across form them. "Hello ladies," he sings. He shakes his head when they don't even pause. He knocks the table and Robin jumps, presses her lips together and looks wildly around until she narrows her eyes at Steve. He grins, unbridled joy. "Hey Robs! Good to see you!" She rolls her eyes. Steve gestures around the bar, the lights the change in mood, everyone moving towards leaving. "Figured I should check on you crazy kids. Don't want you to get locked in when they close for the night." Robin wrinkles her nose, laughs sarcastically him and turns back to her date, eyes soft. She tilts her head at him. "Sorry about this guy, but um yeah. This was fun. Like really fun and uh." The girl laughs, slips some space between them. "Yeah, it was," her voice is quiet and her cheeks are red. She looks up at Robin, hopeful when she says "maybe we could do it again sometime."

The girls make their plans. It's a simple as a "Next week?" "Next week." and Steve saying, loud, annoying "of course I'll drive you next week, Robin, you don't even have to ask."

Steve can't wait.

---

pieces of part 2

[astraltrickster]

Once again thinking about fandom as both a reflection and a potential driver of real social attitudes and thinking about how holy shit, increased trans visibility has made everyone - even allegedly trans-positive people - get a LOT stricter about gender presentation, except now in queer-friendly spaces that strictness manifests as "oh this 'male' character is wearing EYELINER??? omg egg lolol no REAL man would EVER obviously!!" or "this female character isn't wearing pink and flowers, BUTCH QUEEN" or "this male character is short and delicate by white western standards so clearly he isn't a real man uh was born a woman is trans!!" which as implied often has a HELL of a lot of racist baggage in how often it's applied to characters in anime and other east Asian media and

[deep breath.]

I know that some of it is just us queer people grasping at straws for anything we can claim as Relatable. I know that a lot of it is, in fact! But that...that doesn't make it a good thing to hold people - yes, including fictional characters - to queerphobic, often racist as hell, patriarchal standards of What THE TWO GENDERS Should Look Like, as long as you turn around and say "but being the identity I prescribe you is a good thing"

Like, headcanon a character as whatever queer identity you want on whatever scrap you want, of course, but when you insist that your tiny scrap of circumstantial non-evidence that you're running with for fun is ACTUALLY deliberate coding and this is how the character is MEANT to be read even in the face of tons of cultural evidence to the contrary (and inb4 any deliberate bad faith readings whether in agreement or disagreement no I don't mean the white weeb "I know they SAID this character is trans but they clearly didn't MEAN that because that doesn't EXIST in Japan" BS), well...

What i'm saying is that I feel we're collectively Be Gay Do Crimes-ing a bit too close to old-fashioned gender essentialism, y'know?

[riverofrainbows]

In 10 days i am going to start outing myself as trans, and i am honestly really looking forward to it. I know it's going to suck at least a little bit, and possibly a lot bit, but i am really looking forward to being able to be myself finally. I've been stalling this for over a year now for specific reasons, and i am sick of keeping up the theatre. Especially because it's such bad theatre. I already look masculine or butch enough for people to repeatedly keep asking questions, and i am sick of keeping my mouth shut anyways. I am looking forward to introducing myself with my name, to be able to say "I'm a man" when the topic comes up, to be able to say I'm a son, a brother. To not awkwardly go into the women's toilet (because my voice still outs me every time even if i mostly pass), something that doesn't even work smoothly at this point anyway because i keep getting some really weird looks and have to stand extra gay to calm them down.

I'm not looking forward to having to wear a binder every time i go out, because it's going to be a pain and detrimental to my health, but I can't keep stalling t. I'm also not looking forward to possible harrassment targeted at me as a queer man, but i have been living as a visibly autistic butch person the last few years and haven't had many issues and i don't go places anyway, so I'm hoping it will be fine. Because I can't fight. I am also not looking forward to the whole deadname in the official documents while really passing as a man thing, but i hope it doesn't comes up too much.

But the waiting period is going to be over now, and I'm really really looking forward to living. I think i am going to feel like one of those desert plants when it rains again after 15 years and they come alive again. I'm excited!

[tastytoecheese]

Does anyone else think stranger things is a metaphor for being different/gay? The show centers around a gay boy and a socially disconnected girl, they are both the opposite of what people "needed" to be at the time.

👾sorry for spelling or grammar mistakes I'm dyslexic and wrote this very fast👾

In season one we see Will disappear. This is when he was eleven at was probably realising the fact he likes boys, more specifically his best friend, him getting lost in the upside-down was him loosing himself and in turn the people around him loosing him too. Eleven hadn't known how different she was until she met the party-not really fully grasping this until later-but she uses her difference to find Will. Because she didn't realise how other she was she didn't realise how other Will was either allowing her to help him (find part of himself again).

Season 2 is honestly the biggest metaphor for being gay I've seen in the show. We have the shadow monster (Wills internalised homophobia) he trys to fight it but it doesn't work and instead he ends up possessed (depressed and disconnected). The leak/opened gate represents Wills homosexualty. When this starts to effect him (coughing up dart) he trys to hide it and pretend everythings "normal" again. It's a physical presence that Will and the others can see and interact with and ,most importantly, judge him for because he brought dart here despite that being out of his control. Eventually this becomes to much for Will and he needs help, Joyce is the one who's the most determined to get the shadow monster (self hatered/homophobia) out of Will. But the thing that stuck out to me the most is "zombie boy", he's being bullied for something that he can't control, didn't ask for, trys to hide, is seen as scary and could potentially spread(the zombie virus) sounds familiar to a certain disease that was picking up traction and that time and was blamed on gay men, aids.

In season 3 we have a bit less to work with (Will wise I mean) but it leads in well to season 4s metaphor! Season 3 shows us every else getting into relationships, even his mum has something going on with hopper, but Will doesn't. He's once again the odd one out. The main problem comes from the monster of the season, the meat mindflayer, aka the physical embodiment of pupity. We see in this season the more physical reaction Will has to his crush Mike, we see him physically trying get close to him, blushing for no apparent reason, stealing glances at him ect... This is also when we get one of my favourite scenes! Will is in the mall with his friends looking for a gift for El when they come across an underwear shop and Will is visibly starteld looking at the (slightly raunchy) dressed female mannequins. For what I'm about to say next we need background and context so just stick with me! We know Lonnie tried to force Will to like something he didn't like-baseball-we also know Lonnie referred to Will as a queer and a fag, baseball may have been an attempt to "man up" Will. Baseball is heteronormativeity. Jonathan instead tells Will he should like what he likes because he likes it and not because he's told he's supposed to, it's also established Jon helped Will build castle byers. Castle byers represents freedom to be who he is and and like what he likes, it's the only truly safe place he has. After the byler fight and the Infamous "its not my fault you don't like girls!" Line Will destroys castle byers with the baseball bat Lonnie gave him while repeating the word 'stupid'. Will see his feelings for Mike and men as stupid and uses heteronormativeity to destroy his self comfort, an attempt to repres who he is. After the byers move both Will and Mike pull away from eachother. Will also leaves his DnD set, the physical representation of the young love he had for Mike, and him and Mike have a rather flirty extange.

I'm planning to write about season 4 separately as there's no way we can talk about gay metaphors in this season with talking about Mike and El too!

[personthattoleratesme]

tell me what the video Basically, I’m Gay means to you?

My answer will discuss suicide and death of a family member, so trigger warning for that

I feel like this might be a little trauma dump-y but also you asked and I want to give a genuine and honest answer, perhaps it's not what you were expecting/hoping to hear but my relationship with BIG is very unique and I do want to share it, so click keep reading if you want to hear it.

On June 6th 2019 my 24 year old cousin passed away due to suicide. He meant a lot to me, he was the only member of my family who was openly part of the lgbt community. We grew up very close - almost as siblings - so his death hit me incredibly hard, to this day it's the worst thing I've ever been through.

The weeks surrounding his death - when he was still in the hospital, and then afterwards the funeral arrangements - were extremely awful for me. My teachers at school were entirely unsympathetic towards what I was going through, none of my friends or peers really understood the grief I was feeling, and I essentially had no support system to help me through this time period. I felt so alone in so many ways.

I must've gone to bed early on June 13th, as the funeral was going to take place the very next day. I remember being in bed when the notification appeared on my phone. Daniel Howell. Basically I'm Gay. 45 minutes long.

You can probably imagine that considering the emotional roller coaster I was already going through at the time, this very notification - and with that the video - made me feel emotions so bizarre and complex that they're only visible to shrimp. I do think the whole dead cousin thing made me unable to truly appreciate watching that masterpiece the first time, and I am sad that I'll never be able to experience it for the first time again in better circumstances. But it did provide me with an interesting core memory.

The contents of the video hit incredibly close to home at the time. I remember being sad that I couldn't show it to him. That it was just a few days too late. That maybe he needed to see someone who made it, another queer man who had been where he was and has now gone to live a happy an unapologetic queer life.

I was mourning the end of my cousin's queer story, but also feeling pride because I was witnessing the beginning of Dan's. It was confusing and upsetting. It was the proof that queer stories can have happy endings, but my cousin would never be able to get his.

I feel many emotions when I think of the release of BIG. But I do think I am genuinely happy that it was uploaded when it was. It fucked with my brain in many ways, but it also gave me hope. It gave me a much needed light when I was spiraling deep into a depression in real time. Without it I would've felt even more hopeless.

I am genuinely very thankful that Dan has proved to me that there's hope and a light at the end of the tunnel. He's definitely saved my life a few times. And look at me, almost 5 years later I'm still here. And I'm not going anywhere. I'm sorry for my cousin, that he never got to find that light and have that happy ending. He deserved it just as much as Dan and myself. Which is why I'm living for the both of us now and holding onto any hope for dear life.

If you've made it this far, thank you for reading all of this. I hope it wasn't too sad. I'm kind of glad I got to vent about this I won't lie. Sorry about the length of it.

[batboyblog]

Things I like about Tumblr, 2022

first off, Tumblr isn't perfect, it's full of people, and people in general and on-line can be pretty crap, but in a rare move for me I'm looking at the good.

you are not expected to post under your own name/face. In fact people would think you were pretty freaking weird if you did. To the Best of my knowledge only one person posts under their own name with their face as a profile pic, Hi Neil Gaiman! If we keep this up Tumblr will not become a semi-work space like twitter

No one knows your follower count (and honestly you shouldn't know it either) The level of brain rot I see on twitter around having a big follower count is so embarrassing, "help me get to X million!" is so very cringe, much like blue checks its a meaningless thing and we're all better off not knowing who's "popular" there are popular posts not people.

I have a very popular post about the long term nature of Tumblr so I won't go too much into it other than to say that it's nice that we can have long term jokes and memes on here, because we're able to reblog things from the past without any shame and judgement and so a culture and in jokes and yearly (or weekly) events happen here in a way I don't see on more "now! now! now!" social media.

You can do whatever, linking to #1 because we're not a semi-professional webpage where people are selling their "brand" etc there's little to no pressure (outside of yourself) to stay on topic or theme, you can and should reblog that gif set of a funny show from 10 years ago, that moody art shot of a field before a storm, and that short video of puppies falling over, wild out.

You decide if people see your likes. How many times did people get busted for having porn in their Twitter likes, where here no one can judge you, again we're not a work space so if you like that picture of a man in jock strap, go for it reblog that shit, but if you're shy don't worry you can enjoy what you enjoy without having to share with the class.

We hate crypto, we hate NFT, we always have we always will and thats very sexy of us

you can (still) say what you like. The need to make platforms safe for advisors and influencers has lead to "unalive" and other ways to try to get around using bad words. On Tumblr I can say that Elon Musk sucks a whole bucket of monkey shit and I hope he's pushed down the stairs at Twitter HQ.

Tags my beloved, tags are funny, lovely cool little notes, a way to add a joke, say something heart felt etc without worrying "is this needed?" and guess what if the answer was "yes it was" someone will screen shot them and add them to the post for you, win win.

Long form thought, I know this is a semi-jokey list but like no joking I think having all our politicians, journalists and "thought leaders" spending all day on and mainly communicating through a webpage with a very small character limit was/is very bad for our society. Tumblr (as you can see) you can write an essay (I don't think those people should come here, but I never run out of characters)

there's nowhere better for formatting gifs or picture sets, I honestly can't imagine trying to post a series of gifs or pictures on Insta or Twitter and having them all folded up rather than laid out in order all visible at once (and not cropped down, well most of the time)

There's no algorithm, everyone says it but it needs to be on the list, there's no real hand holding pushing you to this or that, there's nothing boosting or hiding your post, you pick what you like and follow it, and then those blogs do something weird and different and thats chill and you keep on.

we're the gay trans sex website, pretty much no where else on-line can you find this much dumb, non sequitur queer humor or as supportive of the trans experience, yes there are TERFs but they are more fringe here than basically any where else.

we just don't matter, back to #1 we are not a place where you can market yourself or your brand or whatever, as such things are just not that serious, this is a social media website made for fun, to enjoy TV, books, and movies mainly but really whatever you do enjoy.

negative I'd like to address before I go, the on-going porn ban, I'm not in favor of porn itself on here, I don't think we need gif sets of studio porn or whatever. But once Tumblr was a safe space for a lot of queer performers to spread their self made work. It also was a safe space for Queer art, both photographic and drawn, to express sensuality and sexuality. And a safe space for Queer artists to draw art of characters totally fucking the shit out of each other. It was a place where enjoyment of the human form and sexuality could be mixed with all the other parts of life as normal. There were for sure problems, however in an ever more censored and sex negative world I think a freed Tumblr is more needed than ever, so I hope we figure that out soon.

[gascon-en-exil]

I guess this would be a little ironic, but I wanted to ask if any of your lovers are homophobic, or upstand those kinds of beliefs outside of when they’re in the bedroom with you. I think you’ve said before that you have some that are conservative, or at least you did at some point. I didn’t know if that extended to their sexuality as well, but it would be funny if it did.

I have indeed had quite a few conservative lovers, because they tend to be the most lucrative and because that's simply more common among men of my target age demographic. However, I'm not sure that those men would read as actually (socially) conservative in the US political landscape.

Queer culture has been a recognizable staple of life in New Orleans for centuries, and drag queens in particular have been a celebrated and quite visible presence here for generations. As such the homophobia that these men express is in reference to certain behaviors. They may look down on the "faggots waving flags on Bourbon and St. Ann" (Ste Anne being the cross-street where the straight bars in the rue Bourbon give way to the gay ones) because they find something pathetic about trawling bars when they're not doing it or identifying too publicly as anything. They'll spread twenty-years old rumors about such-and-such a politician or lawyer or doctor getting caught on his knees in a glory hole stall or getting railed in a bathhouse or attending "the ballet" - an old euphemism for at least one of the city's gay strip clubs. The very old queens, in their 70s and beyond, will call every man they talk about by feminine pronouns and insinuate that even the married ones are huge closet cases and come up with impossible-to-verify stories of mid-century Hollywood celebrities coming to New Orleans and getting up to all manner of entertaining degeneracy. I can absolutely buy Tennessee Williams picking up boys in the Quarter and scandalizing his patrons; I'm less certain about stories of pool parties where Elizabeth Taylor and Rita Hayworth ate each other out, etc.

I could never be a subject for derision for them in the same way, both because that would be hypocritical and because queer people in this city no longer exist publicly as a source of occasionally interesting society gossip. Again, I have no idea how much of that would read as homophobic to an outside observer, but I'm certainly not the type to lecture them on how they ought to look at the world. It would be financially imprudent, and more importantly - I'm a New Orleanian too. I understand fully well our tendency to follow our own rules and hold little regard for the politics and traditions of the US - liberal or conservative.