#get to know strumpet

[thescholarlystrumpet]

Good Omens Fic Master Post

Smut fic

For Loving One rated explicit Father Fell x Crowley Human AU in WW2. Slow Burn. Complete.

Not Just Watching Anymore rated explicit Buffy X-over, M/M/M threesome with Giles. Sex Pollen + Consent

Softer than Rainfall at Twilight rated explicit An angel keeping his demon warm in just one bed. one shot

Silence is Golden rated explicit Smutty Angst follow up to The Rest is Silence

Like one of your French Girls rated explicit Aziraphale gets inspired by the Titanic film. Crowley models ;)

Eye Contact rated explicit "Look away and I’ll stop.” Dom Crowley one shot

The Tension and the Spark rated explicit “I think I like hearing you beg me.” Dom Azi one shot

In Perfect Unity rated explicit Double priest porn, PWP with feels.

To Err is Human Rated Explicit. Memory Loss AU, Aziraphale was never invited to Heaven. Slightly slow burn, Mutual Pining, Smut with Feels. Complete.

The Rest is Silence Rated explicit One-shot, Porn with Feels for the Smut War. They're Not Talking.

There's A First Time for Everything Rated Mature One-shot (with potential for more encapsulated stories to follow) about "Firsts" between Crowley and Aziraphale. Tickling, humor, fluff.

Chromatic Carnality Rated Mature Poetic prose: An Angel trembles before a kneeling supplicant and it is perfectly perverse. 

Lending a Hand Rated Explicit First GO smut fic, post S1, 3 short chapters, Complete A Demon lends a hand to his aroused confused Angel.

** Non-smut

I have brought her laughing (to my quietly dreaming garden) Rated T Fem Azicrow, Prohibition Speak Easy, Drug Use, PINING. Art collab with the incomparable @quona

Wounds Unseen Rated T Inspired by Zoeytime’s comic, an Angsty Aftercare ficlet

A smidge of celestial, a pinch of occult rated T Collection of Drabbles (each 100 words exactly) ranging from humor to angst to suggestive.

What I Am Rated T Post S2 Crowley POV ficlet, meta as inner monologue (3rd person)

To Know a Black Sheep Rated T published first draft of a Priest AU (am doing a whole new idea as a long smutty fic)

Linguistic Evolution - Rated G First fic I ever wrote for GO: Funny and fluffy one shot.

I also run the 18+ discord with the Masters of Sex streams and NSFW Sims channel. Link by request :)

[giantkillerjack]

Izzy Hands: [exists]

The entire fandom: Slut.

[jinkiezzsstuff]

LAYING NEXT TO ADAM IN HIS HOSPITAL BED AFTER EP 8 AND NOT BEING ABLE TO SLEEP SO JUST PLAYING WITH HIS HAIR??

LOVE YOU LOTS, FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS IF YOU WANT 💗💗💗

yesssssssssss i love this it’s so cute, i did it a lil short sweet and lovelyyyyy sorry it took awhile but i hope you enjoy it!

warnings: none really, descriptions of injuries, swearing and that’s about it, short drabble! gn reader w no psychical description, a little bit of a weird ending? didn’t know how to tie it off

You and Adam have always had an odd relationship, you would have moments of really open closeness followed by acting like it never happened. You were comfortable with this because the idea of anything more serious scared you, it wasn’t like heaven was keen on hookups or lust, which meant any relationship led to marriage. So you would ignore your desires and longing, and instead focus on working alongside him.

Adam was of the same mind, he couldn’t hook up with you because it felt wrong to use you like some sinner when he actually liked you. You were always there to listen, telling him that he had every right to hate Lucifer for taking his wives; which he knew but always needed to hear from others, just to reaffirm. Of course he was too afraid to start anything serious with you when the furthest he got was some open communication and occasional dirty jokes shared between you two. There wasn’t any room for him to have a third heartbreak especially when he was now in closer proximity with the devil himself.

That’s why it was a shock when he watched you decend from above spear in hand, wings fluttering lusciously around you. You came back for him, you saw Lucifer and chose to protect him. As you sat alongside him keeping him alive while you could, Lucifer attempted to coax you on his end. “Can’t you see the things he’s done? He’s the devil.” Lucifer boomed holding his daughter. “Cmon we have a good cause here!” - “Saving him means killing others, that’s not very angelic on you.” - “The first man only uses women to fuel his ego and get him off, cocksleaves he uses and forgets. How’s it feel to be that silly little strumpet?”

No matter the harsh line the devil hissed out at you as you tearfully held Adam’s wound, using all the magic you had to keep him alive, and ignoring the taunts and tempts Lucifer spoke. Thankfully what felt like eternity ended, and now you sat alongside the man himself, staring at his paled face. You’d never seen Adam’s face before, Lute wasn’t as strict you’d seen her plenty, but Adam was always skeptical of letting you see him.

You never knew about the exterminations, and although you weren’t entirely pleased he lied, and killed, you justified it by reminding yourself of all the rapist, murders and weird child diddlers that he wiped out of existence. Staring at the side of Adam’s face you admired the ride burns that climbed down his face and the little patch of hair that accentuated his chin.

Leaning onto the bed, you softly and timidly brought your hand up to his cheek, enjoying the feeling of his skin against your hand. Gently you caressed his face, trailing all around and up to his hair. You carefully brushed your fingers through his spiked and messy hair, scratching his scalp gently as you did.

A sigh of content escaped you as you began to play with his hair, twirling it and brushing it back away from his pretty face. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if you died, dumbass. I would’ve regret so much, but now that you’re here and okay I’m just as afraid to say.” You whispered to him quietly, watching his face as his muscle naturally moved and spasmed every once and awhile. He had been out a few days now, a medically induced coma until he healed internally, which was the hardest thing to witness.

Everyday you came and spent some time here with Lute, then Lute would leave and you would stay keeping him company. Sliding up on the bed with him, you situated yourself beside him, your wings curling around him like a safety blanket, head rested on his chest. You cradled his head continually toying with his hair while you gazed off into space, eyes watering as you did so.

You woke up to the doctor entering the room, scolding you for impeding on the patients space, and then happily explained the next plan of action. He was going to be weened off the medication and would hopefully be awake within the week then it was normal wound care from there.

The pattern for the week didn’t change, accept you found yourself enamoured with his hair and face in general, who could blame you, you’ve only seen it now after all these years. You waited everyday to see his eyes flutter open, pinning over the multitude of fantasies you had in your head when he did so. However it was as magical when the day came.

You had his wing over your lap one Saturday, humming a tune stuck in your head as you carefully preened his feathers. Some were still covered in char from the day, leaving a weird nostalgic feeling within you, but not the good kind.

You glanced over at him as his leg twitched violently, his wings puffing along with it. You watched his eyelids flutter just barely, his eyes moving rapidly behind them. Careful not to disturb him, you dragged your fingers through his hair, this time however, Adam’s skin prickled with goosebumps and his body twitched. “Adam?” You whispered, hope evident in your voice as you leaned in closer, investigating his facial expressions.

Adam shifted more at your voice his golden irises finally opening to meet your own. Your stomach lurched at the sight, tears gathering as you got overwhelmed by joy. “Holy fuck Adam!” You cried keeling over into his chest with a sob. Adam still lost, didn’t know what to do, and quite honestly couldn’t fully register who you were to him at the moment. After a second you pulled away gripping his cheeks softly between your hands, Adam looked at you eyes tired feeling sleepless. Finally it clicked, and the heart monitor kicked up with his beats, he nearly died.

“What the fuck?” Adam muttered confused, his voice hoarse and grainy from the lack of use. Tears continued to fall from your eyes as Adam cleared his throat, his own eyes manically hopping from object to object around the room. “You’re one dumb motherfucker yknow that? Fighting Lucifer!? God,” You shook his head gently to emphasize your anger with his decision. Adam only grinned lazily up at you with lidded eyes, his heart rate increasing as he did so.

“Woah, am i in heaven? Because you’re an angel.” Adam slurred out smirking smugly as he did. You gaped at him, he only giggle jubilantly his arms raising slowly to slowly pull you into a hug. You met his movements and fell into his hug with ease mind still trying to comprehend everything. “God you’re an idiot you know that?” You mumbled into his flesh, pushing yourself further into his chubby peck. “Yea babe but that’s why you love me.”

You let out a noise between a scoff and a chuckle before agreeing. “Very true, not even the devil could change that.” Adam tensed at the mention of Lucifer, but his brain tracked back to the day of thee extermination where you decended into hell just for him, to save him. Adam remembered all the things Lucifer was slinging at you, the snake was really trying his hardest to make you fall. “What’d you think of Lucifer?” Adam dared to ask, all the groggy wooze leaving him, focusing all his energy on you agaisnt him. “Nothing special, i was too busy tryna save you.”

Adam’s heart fluttered as did his wings, puffing out and subtly jittering happily. Pulling your head up from his chest you looked down at him positioning yourself over his lips. Adam thought he may have been kidding himself, still in his coma dreaming all this up. “Alright dickhead, i’m going to kiss you, then we’re gonna get the doctor in here and get your ass home, and you’re going to tell me why the hell you kept all that extermination shit from me.” You grit out strictly, a smile on your face as you did. He always secretly found it hot when you tried bossing him around, it stroked his ego when he could talk back to you and get into little competition for dominance and control.

However, Adam really didn’t feel like fighting, nor missing the option for a kiss, so with a smug smirk he puckered his lips and closed his eyes, almost expecting you not to actually kiss him. You smashed your lips against his, flattening his puckered lips and making him gasp with shock. Adam didn’t waste time to recover, messily mashing his tongue into your mouth, sighing at the feeling of you on his tongue. After a few moments of intertwined bliss you pulled away with a warm smile. “You really wanna fuck around with the original dick?” Adam urged a cocky look in his eye, but a part of you knew this was just his way of confirming you wanted him. “Yes i do, i have no clue why the others left for Lucifer when they had you. After all, without a nose, what supposed to bump your clit during head?” Adam sat up with excitedly, wincing at the pain. “Right?!” The exclamation made you grin, and with a pat on the chest you stood, ready to grab the doctor.

[salemontrial]

A list of things (in no order) they BETTER include in the movie

- Rule #1: Don't Get Caught

- "And they are not khakis they're chinos. Khakis are for white people."

- The magazine page

- Zahra stealing Alex's phone and shoving it in her bra after the emails get leaked

- "Numbers on me being into dudes?"

- Get Low at the new years gala (bonus points for "Fuck it up, vato!")

- Alex blowing a beer bottle

- If I don't hear Bea's emotional depth pie speech I'll riot

- "America: He is my choice."

- "Now, I'm standing here, and I'm thinking about it... A reliable, hardworking, honest, Southern Democrat versus corruption, and maliciousness, and hate. And one big state full of honest people, sick as hell of beinf lied to."

- "Say good morning to your strumpet, Henry" "Good morning strumpet"

- Honestly the entire facetime with Pez while him and Henry are in Wales--

- Idk man i wanna see dc dykes on bikes chase westboro baptish church goers down the street

- "I am the First Son of the United States, and I'm bisexual. History will remember us."

- "I've seen Jurassic Park. Did you know birds are directly descended from raptors? That's a scientific fact. Raptors in my bedroom, Henry. And you want me to go to sleep like they're not gonna bust out of their enclosures and take over the island the minute I close my eyes? Okay. Maybe your white ass."

- "i want to see a cage match between your grandmother and this fucking ghoul running against my mom"

- The "Sexual Experimentation With Foreign Monarchs: A Gray Area" powerpoint

- "Sería una mentira, porque no sería èl."

- "Dear Thisbe, I wish there weren't a wall. Love, Pyramus"

- "Oh I'm terribly sorry Pip! So awfully clumsy, I think all that cocaine I did must have done a number on my reflexes!"

- Them dancing to Your Song in the A&V

- Alex NEEDS to fall into that rosebush

- "Hey. We won." "Yeah. We won."

- "But that would be-" "Yes Alex, the day we met, nothing gets past you does it? 'What about you' he asks, as if he doesn't know-"

[ystrike1]

Since When Were You The Villain? - By Ecriture (7/10)

A mindless reincarnation story. Our protagonist is excited to leave her normal life behind to marry a Duke. She quickly slaps her abusive family, and she opens her arms, ready for her loving husband. Her brash, rude, excitement does catch his attention. His fake perfect mask comes off, to her dismay. His real love is much darker. Originally, she was just a marriage of convenience to him.

Sophie doesn't give one shite.

It's not subtle, but it is kinda funny.

Her average face is gone. Her dead end job is gone. She just has to marry her fiance and be happy. It's much easier than her previous life. Our protagonist is also a HUGE romance novel fan, so she's happy to play the game. Her old life was depressing, and she wants it all. The maids. The love. The handsome man.

It's easy for overworked women to understand her somewhat twisted logic and acceptance.

Sophie's situation is somewhat easy! She's skinny, pretty...and an unwanted daughter. Her father remarried. So her family is abusive. They see her as dead weight that exists to be married off. So they basically sold her to a high ranking man who hasn't even met her. She doesn't even know what he looks like...and the letters they exchange aren't exactly warm.

The original Sophie was wary, and deeply depressed. She had been abandoned by her family years ago, and she did not trust her invisible fiance.

New Sophie knows her mystery fiance is actually an ideal man! Every Male Protagonist is the same, after all!!!

Right!!!!!?????

The ML is only allowed to have rough edges. He has to be the perfect husband under that!!!!!!

She's excited to leave her family behind and get married, which is nice because so many stories are about hating/avoiding/delying/faking marriage.

She just wants the real thing.

She's ready to show off her power!!!!

Girlboss time!

The old Sophie was emotionally damaged. Destroyed by years of abuse since her childhood. New Sophie knows she's been married off to somebody POWERFUL! FOR $.

Which means her fiance isn't some pushover, and it's likely that her awful family is in need of money/unstable.

She sees her abusers as what they are.

Weak cowards who only know how to hiss and lie.

When a maid serves her low quality food she doesn't waste a second.

Why?

Well, it's the olden days.

Her new rich husband already owns her.

The maids/her family can't beat her up.

They can't chase her out.

If the Duke shows up with his men, and his bride is gone/in a coma he can legally prosecute the family. Which they probably can't afford.

Sophie had a hard life.

New Sophie happily takes revenge in her stead.

The Duke, Killian, isn't a nice guy. He's a criminal who wears a mask sometimes. He also needed a puppet wife, which is why he purchased Sophie. He intended to leave her in his castle alone basically forever after having one kid with her or something. He specifically chose a mousy, unwanted woman who would not betray him or run back to her family.

He wants to run his giant criminal enterprise freely, and being an unmarried man in the olden days makes you look....suspicious.

His first impression of Sophie was good and bad. He thought she was boring, depressed, and skittish. Unlikely to fall for him. Unlikely to bother him. Unlikely to risk death to expose his deep corruption. She was the perfect wife for him.

When he arrives he finds a flirtatious and happy strumpet, ready for matrimonial bliss.

She kinda sweeps him off his feet.

His love is not what she expects.

He comes to see her at night, covered in blood. As his feelings deepen more blood flies. I didn’t read the novel spoilers but he is a yandere.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

STAGED LIVESTREAM SUMMARY S1

BABYGIRLS, BITCHBOYS, AND BOYCOTTERS OF THE BINARY, HELLO MAGGOTS OF MINE. Can you tell it is past 5 am and I just took my sleep meds? We all know how well that goes for my post-making prowess *stares at my good omens part 1 update on Neil's blog*.

BUT that is a regret for post-sleep me to have. When the sun rises I'll go to bed, it's a fucked up sleep schedule but hey the sun and I can't be up at the same time we'd all combust from the hotness. Oh I'm going to regret this so much. But I feel like it's only in this state that I can do justice to that goddamn livestream.

STRAP IN BECAUSE THIS IS A LONG POST AND I WILL NOT CUT IT BECAUSE I WANT EVERYONE WHOSE DASH IT LANDS ON TO YEARN FOR SPIRTUAL EYE-BLEACH.

Soooooo without further ado, or should I say much ado about nothing (see I can reference Shakespeare):

The stream starts, and we are witness to David Tennant being pointy and chaotic, Michael Sheen being adorable and enraged, and Simon looking close to tears at all times, which is a fucking mood.

I am witness to a disturbing degree of thirst every time Michael turns to the side. Michael in profile, they all swoon. I am concerned.

I'm reminiscing about my lockdown memories. David looking confused in a hoodie is very fucking relatable. Once, I started sobbing because my wardrobe looked like a wardrobe. It was a time for us all.

However, everyone else is busy yelling about different showings of Hamlet, Richard the Something Number, etc etc. No one is paying attention to me and my poor poor memories.

Now, I read original Shakespeare when I was like 13, .I like him. But I do not have this level of expertise. FRIENDS, ROMANS, COUNTRYMEN, LEND ME YOUR EARS, I beg.

No one pays attention. I am sad.

I go off to sulk.

By which I mean I actually pay attention to the show. So maggots reading this and wanting an actual summary, this is the only time you're going to get it, because it was when I was watching.

Basically, Simon (I'm gonna refer to their characters as them but for the record it's scripted, I'm being so considerate to the people who're here for an actual summary) digs himself into a hole, Michael does not like him and makes that very known, David offers to get Simon out of the hole and in the process digs both of them into an even deeper hole, and Samuel L Jackson (is that his name) and Michael become unlikely allies to get revenge on David.

Rather than an apology dance, though, David has to stand in a corner. Meanwhile, Georgia and Anna are the only ones actually functioning at their lives, Michael gets blackmailed into servitude by his neighbour, and Simon holds back tears. Judi Dench is involved (that's her name right).

Now as you can see, I am paying full attention to the show until this point. At this fucking point though, I make the poor choice of opening the stream chat.

@thescholarlystrumpet's profile picture is a certain angel. Focused on... the lower half.

Everyone in the chat is talking about Aziraphale's thighs.

This derails. Everyone is now talking about Aziraphale's dick.

Strumpet insists vehemently that the thighs are the focus.

Everyone says the thighs are only there for framing purposes.

You know me, maggots. I'm drawn to chaos, shark to blood. So I end my sulk at not being the centre of attention, and delightedly hop into the chat.

Someone (@vitrilol it was you, I believe? until confirmation, I'll refer to them as Ari) says they wish someone liked their thighs.

So naturally I say I like your thighs.

Oh, swoon, the flirting, you maggots would be scandalised. I'm quite the charmer. It is delectable. We take it to the bedroom. The bedroom is the stream chat. There are gasps.

Another maggot says that this is simply mine and Ari's room, and they're just in it. So then I tell them, why simply stand and watch? They should join in.

They say they have mixed experience with threesomes. I ask who said we're capping it at three?

They are far more comfortable with the idea of an orgy. An orgy has now been initiated. Some people express concern. Others are entirely on board.

Some say they are afraid they're too old for the said orgy, they're old enough to be my aunt. I say nonsense, you wanna orgy, you orgy.

Ari takes this opportunity to wonder if I'm old enough to be their aunt. They then hasten to assure me that they like MILFs.

I find this hysterical, because I am a nineteen year old guy whom people have said gives off tiktok fuckboy energy in real life. I make that fact known. I'm glad that being a man and being 19 does not exclude me from being a MILF, however.

At this point, Ari points out that at least people find me attractive, even if it's a tiktok fuckboy way. I am unsure that being attractive is worth giving off tiktok fuckboy energy. (Thank god, this is not my only vibe. I also have unkept stinky teenage boy, witch and Jane Austen debutante princess, but weird).

Someone else says that hey, I'm closer in age to their son than them. I am about to ask whether their son is eligible and how many pounds he has a year, when they add that the son is 12. I tell them I am glad I did not ask those things. They agree.

The show is still going on. Someone is gasping on Georgia's phone, and I assume it is labour (I learned my lesson about assuming orgasms after the good omens pilot). I am correct. A maggot says that labour and orgasms do not sound the same.

I'm a clueless aspec boy. I don't know about labour or orgasms.

There is some debate then about whether screaming in pain is a difference or a possible common ground for those two things.

The orgy is expanding. Strumpet has to step in to say that while thirsting about the actors is entirely fine, please everyone refrain from sexting in the stream chat.

I feel like I should state here for the record that no one was sexting.

Well. Okay. That's a dubious stretch of the truth, but I love dubiously stretching the truth.

David abuses chairs and beds and his limbs with his posture. I relate.

The neighbour nearly dies, then does not.

The internet gives up on the stream. This is fair. Poor internet.

But while the video is lagging, someone mentions that one of their favourite fanfic authors passed away.

Comfort is offered, as is my brand of aggressively gentle love. Basically DON'T FUCKING APOLOGISE, sweetheart, your grief is valid. Strumpet says how in case she should disappear she's given a friend the authority to post her WIPs as a precautionary measure. And now people are crying.

I ask Strumpet to pause the stream. We all get really fucking emotional about the beauty of writing, of art enduring past the lives of the artists, and whether the author knew how much they were loved. This is getting really sad, but in a beautiful way.

We go back to the stream. Who knows what happens? Not me.

But what matters to me isn't what's on the stream, it's what's in the chats. The people I get to talk to. The hope that I can, at the very least, ensure that they are never, ever unheard. That they get the love they deserve.

I'm too sleepy to reread that. Meds have kicked in. Eyes shut time. If I fucked up somewhere in the post do forgive me maggots of mine, it's past 6 am which means the sun has risen and I need to go the fuck to sleep till noon is over at least.

I love you. Love love love. Send me anything you want anytime. My ask box is open. Go wild. You will not be fucking unheard. Yeah? Good. I love you, again, for good measure.

@howmanyholesinswisscheese ya proud of me, dad?

[majestichyuk]

Just the norm

Pairing :- Mark Lee x Fem!reader

Summary :- Just some college kids being college kids.

Genre :- College students, comedy (because I’m nice like that), text messages, fluff (you tell me), acquaintances to friends, flirty-ish, ass whooping, cringe alert (sry)

Wc :- 1.3k 

WARNING :- cursing. It’s never a peaceful day with the haechan & renjun, reader wanted the smoke, and jeno just being the peacemaker because he can. 

Notes :- THANK YOU FOR 100 NOTES ON MY LATEST BOOK kutabare starring Jeno T-T. I WROTE THIS, sry i wrote this in the spawn of the moment because why not, you either enjoy it or you don’t, but once again thank you for the love, don't be afraid to talk with me and send in some ask, I’m open. But anyways enjoy my crack cringe short story, LIKE, FOLLOW & REBLOG. 

🦹

“HAECHAN, GIVE IT BACK!,” you yelled as you leap forward to grab the nuisance by his light brown hair.

“Bring back what?!” Haechan asked as he stood on the other side of the table. “I have nothing that belongs to you,” 

“Haecha- ugh, RENJUN!” you called out to Renjun who’s busied himself with his phone on the other side of the classroom, with his legs crossed elegantly. “Haechan give her back whatever you stole from her,” Renjun ordered as he kept his attention on his phone.

Haechan snarled at you as he handed you back your phone, and pouted as he plopped himself at his desk.

“I always knew you were a lil bitch,” you stick your tongue out playfully at Haechan as you took your phone from his hands. 

“What'd you say you strumpet-” he was interrupted as Jeno entered the classroom.

“What’s with all the noise I was hearing outside?” Jeno questioned as he placed his barrel bag on your desk. “You two fighting again?” Jeno looked at both you and Haechan unimpressed.

“They’ve been at each other throats since this mornin-” Renjun was the second victim of being interrupted by someone.  

“There wouldn’t have been an issue today if he wouldn’t stick his nose out in other people's busine-” Haechan interrupted you as he jumped out of his seat, slamming both of his palms on your desk startling Jeno.

“Well, I’m sorry for wanting to know who has my dearest friend all smiley and shit!” He nearly gagged at the scene he witnessed this morning. “Who possessed you, babe?” Haechan looked at you worriedly as he reached out to check your temperature.

“Renjun whatcha doing after school?,” Jeno peered over you and Haechan getting into a brawl, completely ignoring you two as if it was a normal day.

“Mark asked me to help him with something so I’m probably going to his house,” Renjun told Jeno as he went into his bag searching for a snack. You halted yourself as you let go of Haechan’s neck, dusting your pants as you got up from the floor, kicking him in his ass before you walk over to Renjun.

“Want me to tag along, Junnie?” You sat on Renjun’s table and tried to muster your most irresistible puppy eyes.

“Look who’s the little bitc-” Haechan got slapped at the back of the head by Jeno as he struggled to get up from the floor. 

Renjun put his attention back on you. “Why you wanna tag along, don’t you have somewhere to be after school,” Renjun asks pushing more of a reaction out of you, even though he has an idea of your motives to join him and Mark.

“Well.. not anymore, I don’t really have to be there, the team will do fine without me for one day,” you reassure him, even though you’re kind of rethinking if your basketball team has that level of independence.

“They’ll be fine,” You brushed him off as you took a bite of the snack he handed to you.

“So who were you messaging this morning to have Haechan nearly puke everywhere?” Renjun questioned you as if he didn’t know.

“No one really,” You stuffed a handful of the chips in your mouth. “Jst marlk,” you were able to get out, thinking no one would be able to understand. Until.

“MARK? MARK FUCKING LEE,” Haechan pushed Renjun out of his seat as he planted himself in front of you in Renjun's abandoned chair. “Lee Minhyung has you smiling like that?!,” Haechan looks at you in concern and disgust.

“What’s so wrong with Mark?” Jeno joined in as he held Renjun back from pouncing on Haechan. “Calm down Renjun, calm down,” He gently stroked Renjun's hair and went over to flick Haechan’s forehead.

“Well for starters,” Haechan rubbed his red forehead. “He’s a total wimp that just smells bad and too uptight, AND HE CHEATS!” 

“You’re just mad because he beat you in badminton,” Renjun rolled his eyes whilst taking a seat next to you on his desk. 

“And because he beat you in Mario cart,” Jeno added as he propped by the window.

“And because he-” you stopped speaking when Haechan started to dramatically flop in his chair.

“Okay! Okay, I get it, I’m a jealous trainwreck, I can't help my competitiveness” he pulled out his white handkerchief and surrendered. Everyone chuckled at him until their attention was taken by the devil himself.

“Hey Mark,” Jeno got up and bro hugged Mark who reluctantly accepted the gesture.

“Hey,” Mark muttered looking quite tired as he went to take his seat at the back of the class. 

“You see what I mean? A total wimp, didn’t even greet us” Haechan loudly whispered as he watched Mark place his headphones on his head. Jeno went over the speak with Mark, leaving Haechan to ramble.

“I don’t think you should be talking considering your mom has to wash your underwear at your big age, and he looks tired” You retorted, gazing at Jeno and Mark wondering what Jeno was talking about.

“Well since you’re obviously so smitten by him why don’t you go over and talk with him?” Haechan challenges you as he looks at you expectedly. 

Renjun brushed him off “You didn’t have the balls to talk to youR crush face to face, all I saw was shriveled nuts,”. You burst out in laughter gaining the attention of the two boys at the back.

“You know what I’m not even going to waste my time with you,” Haechan glared at Renjun. 

“The only action you’re getting is from that hole in your pillow, you prude,” Haechan spat out as Renjun gasped at his words.

 “It wouldn’t be that way if you’d let your mom visit me mor- AH!” Renjun got up from his desk and ran towards the classroom door with Haechan trailing behind him screaming how he’d skin him alive. 

You sat there with your arms crossed, knowing after they’d had their little fight they’d probably leave the compound goofing around to only return until their next class. You watch as Jeno and Mark are still in deep conversation about god knows what, so you get up go back to your table, and take out your phone preparing to play a mobile game until lunch is finished. 

After five minutes of playing Roblox, you see you got a text from someone.

Marknificent 🦹: So no greetings when I arrived?

You quickly open the message, instantly thinking back and realizing you indeed didn't greet him, not that it was unpurpose.

You: I should be asking you the same thing 🤨

Marknificent 🦹: Touche

Marknificent 🦹: What ya doing?

You looked behind you to see him still engaging in conversation with Jeno, well he’s mostly listening but anyway.

You: I’m actually on the toilet 💀

You: Taking a fat shit

Marknificent 🦹: ew wft dude 😭 😂

Marknificent 🦹: Well I’m popping a huge pimple on my ass rn 

You let out a snorted laugh to look back and see Mark looking away from Jeno, smiling trying to hold his laughter.

You: Are you having a serious conversation rn?

Marknificent 🦹: Yes 🧍🏻

You: So why are you texting me?

Marknificent 🦹: Well I’ve noticed we don’t really talk much in person because we’re always interrupted, so why not cheat the system?

 You: That’s not nice bro ☠️

Marknificent 🦹: He’s too deep in his story to even notice

Marknificent 🦹: Plus ima pro at multitaskin, no lies detected.

You: Im intrigued 

Marknificent 🦹: Well I asked renjun to help me with something at my place

Marknificent 🦹: You could tag along and 

Marknificent 🦹: MAYBE, i’ll show you first hand (pun intended)

You: what was the joke? 💀

You: Boy-

You: what ya mean by that? 😏

Marknificent 🦹: I shall not tell ☝️

Marknificent 🦹: You have to be there to find out 🧍🏻

You: Aaaaand what if I’m not there Mark lee

Marknificent 🦹: Well Albert, Ig you’ll never know

You: Albert 🧍‍♀️, really? 👩‍🦯

You logged out

[justafairytailofinnocence]

Potc headcanon:

If their in love with you 😍💘

Jack sparrow🍺

Jack sparrow, can you ever picture the choatic, scoundrel in love with anyone.

Jack sparrow is flirty with women, strumpets, nobles, ladies, you name it. But when he mey you that's when it was different.

Jack sparrow had never been in lover expect the closest thing being angelica (but we don't talk about that).

Jack was quite confident, boisterous in his knowledge of the sea.

You coming in the picture was a whole new chapter to Jack's life.

"The pearl," he thought. "Surely it must've been a bad drunken dream he had with you in it ey".

Jack was, conflicted, confused about you or rather, your being.

His feelings are not one to be taken lightly for, he loved the pearl, he loved the sea but a person. How can this be?

Jack would act rash and odd, like odder then his usual self (and you know how odd he is most of the time.)

He would avoid you and hide away from you. Acting like a highschooler with a huge crush.

For one minute, he would be speaking to someone, and the next he would run from seeing you.

You felt weirded out at first, Jack Sparrow, a confident and adventurous buccaneer, was acting like a coward in front of you.

During the night, Jack would be hiding from you until he calls Master Gibbs.

"Master Gibbs," he whispers.

"J-Jack, is tha' yer, whaddya doin' hiding in tha barrells," Gibbs questioned.

Jack peaked his cattish eyes to see if you were nearby, "gah" he pulled Gibbs into the Barrell with him.

"Jack, what's wron', is tha' kraken after us?" Gibbs asked.

"No, somethin' way worse mate," Jack leaned up once more to see if you were around.

"Then, wha' is it Jack" Gibbs questioned once more.

"Him/them/Her," Jack muttered

"Him?/them?/Her?" Gibbs questioned

"The girl/the boy/the person" Jack admitted.

"The girl?/the boy?/the person?--" Gibbs realised who Jack was speaking about.

"Oh, that girl/boy/person" Gibbs figured out.

"But jack, she/he/they ain't out ta get yer, are they? Gibbs asked.

Jack's upper lip curled into something of disgust. "No, not yet at least, but I've been having these -" Jack's hands jestures toward the word "Feelings."

"Oh~, I see wha' ye mean, I see tha' way ye look at her/him/them" Gibbs nudges Jack in a teasing manner.

"Shhh," Jack hushed Master Gibbs. "Well, why Dontcha go n' tell er', after all, ye do ave' a way wit tha lasses".

Jack turned to Gibbs, widening his eyes. "Wait, it be more than tha' Jack?".

"Ohhh, Jack a-are ye admittin', yer in love wit' her/him/them" Gibbs questioned.

Jack pushed himself out of the barrel. "It ain't good mate, I ain't exactly sure what to do" Jack softly spoke.

He cared for you yet he was conflicted. He loved the sea and the pearl more then anybody (aside from rum).

He couldn't begin to imagine being with anyone. Freedom and the lust of adventure were all he knew yet he would need time to figure out his feelings.

Gibbs would give Jack advice for being in love yet Jack would still continue to act stranger.

Jack would give subtle hints, though. He would protect you and act to save you.

Other then that, Jack is weirder when it comes to love rather then lust.

At least you weren't left on an island, although that was more because he couldn't trust Angelica.

Jack would be conflicted, but he would still protect you only the downside is he would try to take time figuring things out for you.

If he did confess, it would be "I love you mate, I always have and always will" leaning into kiss "as do I Jack, as, do, I" y/n speaks softly.

Hector barbossa 🍏

Barbossa, a screaming, strong and fearsome captain that no one dares triumphs.

Barbossa is a man who gives no quarter to those that cross him.

When you picture someone being handsome, you're probably thinking, Jack Sparrow, Will Turner, or James Norrington. Definitely not Barbossa though what if there was something too him.

Barbossa is complex. There's no doubt about that. He's a character that is portrayed in the strong setting not the romantic kind.

Hector being in love would be quite extraordinary, though albeit rare.

Barbossa would often catch himself staring at you from the helm, spying on you through his telescope or eyeglass.

His expressions would be softer; his face pouting instead of smiling over the adventurous horizon.

He would watch over you, from above or far.

He would (Childish as this sounds) dream of you, secretly imploring to show you the true meaning of serenity.

His manner wouldn't change, of course. He would put on this facade of ordering you around or challenging you to keep your mind afloat of any ideas.

He would take advice from Jack on how to woo you but ignore most of it.

Jack would flirt with you but end up bewildered you chose Barbossa over him.

He has hidden himself away or has been quite vague in your presence where as, unlike Jack would speak to you if necessary.

He would be quite protective yet passive toward your nature. He doesn't want to give any hints until he was prepared.

Barbossa mended the helm where Jack caught him staring at you, "staring off again, eh Hector, or rather, are you staring at her/him/them?".

"Keep yer business ter yerself sparrah" Barbossa growled, warning Jack.

"You know me, mate, that ain't happening," Jack teased.

"Don't mind me asking, but how can something as fetching as that end up with something as hideous as you?" Jack crossed the line.

Barbossa pulled his cutlass out from his holster, holding it over Jack. "Shut yer trap!" Barbossa demanded whispering.

"No, I don't think I will" Jack was getting on Barbossas nerves.

"I think there's something about her/him/them hm, seems like you're revoltingly intertwined with the poor thing," Jack smiled.

Barbossa clenched his teeth in a growling manner. "She/he/they won't be wantin' anytin' ta do wit me, fer er/is/their admirer is a swine."

Barbossa withdrew his sword and tended back to the helm, ignoring Jack.

Eventually, Barbossa got to know you more and more, he did confess his feelings.

If Barbossa confessed, he would be emotionally sincere, and with only two words, he admitted "yer treasure."

Will turner🌊

Will Turner was at first a blacksmith, and he often visited Elizabeth.

Will being in love is quite a passionate experience. He would bring the whole world to you.

Will would be around you. He would travel the ocean just to be with you.

Will would team up with Jack to save you from anything.

When the events of Davy Jones took place, he swore his heart to you.

No doubt Will Turner was a strong lad and devoted.

Will was looking out over the horizon, deep in thought.

"Is everything alright, Will?" Elizabeth leaned against the railing.

"Yeah, just, contemplating is all," Will stared off into the distance, looking at you.

"You like her/him/them, don't you?" Elizabeth softly muttered. She had feelings for Will, but it seemed his eyes were on you.

"Aye" will glanced at the broken hearted Elizabeth.

"Least you two have a lot in common," she tried to smile.

Will walked over toward you and held your hand. "Y/n, ever since we first met, I haven't stopped thinking about you, I love you."

The day will confessed was the day he promised to come ashore once every couple of years.

Will Turner was a legend with a heart he held only for you.

Elizabeth Swann 🦢

Elizabeth was the pirate king. She had finally been elected to phase through with the next plan of killing Cutler Beckett.

She was tough, and you knew that, once a woman who was fantasised pirates now a powerful king destined to sail the seas.

She protected you, cared for you, and loved you.

Elizabeth swore she would keep you alive until the aftermath as to which she would dream of living with you.

Will noticed, he approved but felt broken hearted that it wasn't him.

Jack was walking up to her. "So, you and y/n hm, didn't think you'd fancy her/him/them. Thought you fancied dear William."

Elizabeth looked at Jack and looked away. "I did once," she held a playful smirk on her face, "though, things change, you know it intrigues me, Jack, why you're so curious about who I fancy".

Jack gripped the bottle of rum, and he sipped the bitter liquid. "Hm, just wonderin' love".

"Did you place a bet on me with Master Gibbs?" Elizabeth asked.

"What me, nooo~" Jack wasn't able to pull off the facade. "So, mabey I did."

Elizabeth rolled her eyes "unbelievable". She focused her gaze onto you.

"You love her/him/them, don'tch you" Jack blurted out.

Elizabeth turned back to Jack. "Mabey I do," she confirmed.

Jack in his mind knew he would win the bet, that barrel of rum is his.

If she confessed, it would be during the fight with Davy Jones. "I love you, y/n!" She would scream in the rain.

Henry Turner 🔱

Henry was the son of Will Turner, a boy that wouldn't give up on trying to release his father's curse.

Henry would be quite inexperienced when it comes to love, the boys like a puppy.

He would interact with you and be by your side.

He would take interest in many of your things.

Henry would get advice from Jack that would make Carina roll her eyes.

"Henry, are you with it" Carina waved her hand in front of Henry's eyes.

"Huh, yeah, uh I think so" Henry smiled innocently.

"Good, if we sail east, we should be able to find the trident," Carina showed henry the diary of Galileo. The Ruby showed a map that Carina had been using.

Henry had been averting his eyes to behind Carina once more seeing you.

"Henry, what's with you?" Carina asked.

"Are you staring at another girl/boy/person?" Carina grew annoyed."For heavens sake, Henry, we must concentrate if we ever wish to free your father".

Henry nodded, getting his mind back into the main goal.

Henry couldn't help himself by being around you though Carina got annoyed with Henry's gushing.

When he confessed, it was after he freed his father. "Y/n, I love you, you've been there when I needed it and I thank you for that" Henry would then lean in to kiss you.

Davy Jones 🐙

Davy had only ever gave his heart to only one person, a goddess of the sea.

He's cold, cruel and had his heart hardened.

Davy would in love again would be a rarity, he couldn't feel for anyone else.

It was break his grief, he would be able to move on and regain humanity.

It would be possible he may just be able to turn human.

Davy had finally admitted his conflicted feelings for you, seeing calypso before the final battle.

Tia Dalma appeared behind Davy. "You know what fate has woven you back".

"I dah naught need ta' see you" Davy said in anger.

"Your heart still beats, a life spared by your own choosing," Tia stood her ground.

"Ah spar nah one" Davy said in a short fuse.

"A heart that beats but not for my own," Tia admitted.

"You've spared a life, a life not given to cruelty." she caressed his cheek "a woman/a man/a person".

"AH DONT SPAR LIVES-AH!" Davy shouted, slamming his claw hand against the wall next to Tia.

"You broke my love," Davy muttered before calming down.

Tia whispered before Davy left, "Your heart belongs to me but it beats for her"/him/them.

Davy would take time, he would confess during the last maelstrom battle. He would see you wounded and that's when his rage was let out.

"Y/n," he would mutter before roaring and slaughtering the men.

"My heart belongs to you."

Cutler Beckett 🍵

Beckett is cold-hearted, he is ambitious and an intelligent man.

He wouldn't usually show how soft of a man he would be, but that changed.

Beckett would at first try to manipulate you, for you to give up sparrow.

He would hire you on occasions to spend nights with him as a strumpet.

He would keep these occasions on the down low in private.

He would use you, but he also holds affection for you, attraction.

So when the time came, he had to choose you or the company.

"We got him, sir, we got him, Captain Jack Sparrow" The navy officer said.

Jack was trapped in chains between his hands and feet.

Beckett gave a wry smile of amusement "well, if it isn't captain Jack Sparrow".

Jack glanced up to see the lord.

"After all of this, a filthy scoundrel trapped in chains" Beckett smiled with amusement.

Beckett pulled out his flintlock pistol, aiming it at Jack.

"Send my regards to Jones for me, will you, Mr Sparrow?" Beckett smiled.

You come in the way of the between Jack and Beckett.

"Y/n, move," Beckett ordered.

Since you refused, Beckett aimed the pistol directly in front of you and Sparrow. "I'll give you the final chance to turn away now, girl/boy/y/n".

Beckett was frustrated that you defended Sparrow. For a moment, he lost his composure.

His cold eyes drew into one of regret for a moment, as if he truly treasures you.

Yet his morals kicked in and shot you. Blindly, he didn't know, he couldn't tell where his mind was but his ambitions had gotten in the way.

He looked distraught and shocked, as smoke left the pistols' end point.

Beckett hadn't really meant to kill you, not really, but his ambitions were tremendous.

If he confessed it would be "you make me content, a sweet girl/boy/person in this devastating world betrothing herself/himself/themself to my desire. What a despicably beautiful act."

James Norrington 🎖

James had his heart broken by the woman he was devoted to.

He was honorable, polite, and a man with high morals.

The admiral has been in love before but could never really express it.

If he were to love another, it would be better for him so he could move on.

James met you when he betrayed Will and Elizabeth when he retrieved the heart of Davy Jones.

Beckett dismissed the admiral as he was set out to be promoted and restored once more.

"Y/n, what are you doing here?" James said in concern.

"I had to see you, the chest of Jones, did Will and Elizabeth destroy it?" you asked in a huff.

James looked down in shame, he betrayed the only friend he had.

"So they didn't?, why?" Y/n asked.

"Listen to me y/n, there may not be much time, Beckett's men will hunt you if they find out you're associated with Sparrow" James whispered.

"You need to leave, don't come looking for me anymore, your safety is my highest concern" James looked around the hall outside of Beckett's office.

"You're precious to me, more than any I've known," James suddenly pushed his lips to meet yours, like it's a goodbye kiss.

"Now go," James ordered you.

You listened and left without a word as James breathed a sigh in relief and attended his duties toward Lord Beckett.

If James were to confess, it would be like "y/n, you're a fine woman/man/person, and you would make an even finer wife/husband/partner."

Tia Dalma 🐚

Tia was a wild woman. She was extraordinary compared to the rest, she likes to explore those she's interested in.

Tia had only loved once, a man from a long time ago but he betrayed her.

Tia being in love would finally heal her wounded heart.

She would be able to move on but not destroy Davy Jones as he was her past.

Tia was greeting Jack Sparrow, an old friend.

"Jack Sparrow," Tia smiled at the captain.

"Tia--" Jack noticed you behind the back "question, who's that" he pointed.

"She/he/y/n is a child with a destiny," Tia said no more than that.

"New friend, congrats, love," Jack smiled.

"She's/he's/their more than just that," Tia implied.

Jack was astonished, although he didn't know the full story.

Tia had guided you from the beginning, she was a goddess you fell for.

When she confronted Davy Jones, you felt Jealous knowing her past.

Davy would kill you for taking his lover.

If Tia confessed, she would do it after her Goddess form "my y/n," she whispered.

Carina smyth ✨

Carina was a very smart woman, an astrologist curious to know who her father was.

Carina being in love is more likely to involve her being caring toward you.

She would spend time with you and tell you about the stars and her past.

Carina was talking to Henry; Henry respected her decision but felt bad for himself as he had a crush on her.

Carina was watching over you as you were tied with Henry and Jack to lead Barbossa and his men toward the trident.

"I don't believe now's the time to be asking odd questions, henry," Carina whispered.

"You like her/him/them. I understand, but what would happen if the captain killed us? " He whispered back.

"I think you should tell her/him/them, or they'll be no other time," he said.

Carina looked toward you as Captain Barbossa untied her to guide them over the waters.

She quickly demanded a word with you, or she won't tell them. Barbossa impatient said she had 5 minuets.

"Y/n, listen, I should've said something earlier, but I'm glad you're here with me," she admitted. "If I ever did meet my father, he would be proud of us".

If carina confessed, it would be after she found out who her father was. "I love you; I really do."

Armando salazar 👻

Salazar was sailing the seas, hunting down pirates until he died from the hands of Jack Sparrow.

Armando was human and when he fell in love he showed it through his soft side.

When he turned into the un-dead, he became cruel, cold and merciless.

Salazar kept an eye out for only one thing; revenge on sparrow.

He looked over the deck to reminisce over his past life.

He remembered you, your warmth and soft touch.

It was the only part that made him feel human.

You were probably long gone by now since Salazar had lived on for quite sometime.

That was until Jack had an encounter. After Salazar had become human from the trident breaking.

His flesh and memories were flooding back, ones of love and joy.

"I am back mi amore, I am alive," he muttered.

However, it was short lasted when Barbossa sacrificed himself to the sea killing him in the process.

"I-am-alive" as his last and final vision was you.

If he confessed, it would be when he was human and did it in a shy yet ambitious manner. "Sounds stupid, doesn't it, but te amo y/n."

Phillip swift 📔

Phillip was captured by the infamous blackbeard.

He was forced to work under his name, as a servant of the pirates.

Phillip had been tortured, physically and mentally by the captains cruel nature.

The only thing that kept him going was his bible.

When Phillip was in love it would've been with you either as a captive or a mermaid/merman/merperson.

Phillip escaped the treacherous crew from the fountain and ran back to find you.

"You came back" you said with your hands tied up to a tree "why".

"God gives love to all, gods creation shall be protected." he used a small dagger to untie you.

"I am his messenger, I will not let you die," he tried hard to uncut you.

"Phillip, I'm not special, I'm not worth your time," you said.

"What, of course you are. You are god's beautiful gift to this world, as you are mine" he finally uncut the bonds holding you.

You fell back into the water as he let you escape.

You had some options to take him with you or leave him on land.

If he confessed, he would say outright, "You are a beautiful creature, made from the heavens above."

Syrena 🧜‍♀️

Syrena was caught by the crew for her tears.

She didn't know the human world, but she knew cruelty.

You were a boatswain on black beard's ship. Angelica prompted you as she thought you were more tougher.

You kept an eye on everything, the riggings, the crew, and the order.

Syrena became friendlier with you and Phillip. However, you were short lasted as you started to have feelings for syrena.

One night, while Jack was hunting for the chalices. You stuck out.

You brought a small cutlass with you and cut the bindings.

With no word you grabbed syrenas hand and ran.

"Where are we going" she said.

"To freedom" you replied.

Phillip got up and went to check on syrena when she was nowhere to be found.

The crew had no idea where the mermaid or you went but it put angelica and her father in a heap.

They were ordered to hunt you down and kill you.

She looked into the sea yet without a second thought looked back.

"Come, come with me, you save me, I do the same in return," Syerna held your hand.

"I, I can't, you're a mermaid, and I'm a human it wouldn't work," you said sadly.

Syrena looked up and kissed you before diving into the sea. Her tail sparkling in gold.

"I understand, but what's left for you up here?" she pointed toward the way back.

You held your hand out as Syerna dragged you into the sea, never to be found again.

If she confessed, it would be, "I feel it for you, a human feeling for you, I love you."

Angelica tech 👢

Angelica was under the eyes of her father, she had to play a very strict role in order to survive.

She was no mere lady, she was the first mate of her father.

She was Jack sparrows ex-lass, an old flame, broken woman of the seas.

Angelica trusted no one. She didn't want to be played for a fool ever again.

Angelica in love would be like having a second chance only, be careful not to break it.

One night, you set up a romantic giving that was until Jack ruined it.

"So let me guess this straight, she likes you, you like her, and you hate me," Jack questioned. "And you're just here," he pointed to the bard, who smiled and waved back.

"Aye, Jack, this is none of your business," Angelica spoke.

"You should've known. If you wanted me back, you wouldn't have left, " angelica concluded.

"Nah, but see here, love, she doesnt know who you are" Jack turned to you.

"Jack, she/he/y/n doesn't have to know of my life," angelica persisted.

"Though you proclaim to be the daughter of-" Jack nearly spilt her secret.

"I'll cut your eye out Jack!" Angelica interrupted.

"I got a second chance, a chance that you never gave me, and I'll be damn sure you don't ruin it" Angelica threatened.

"Hang on, don't she/he/they know that's blackbeards daughter" the bard spilled.

"Now that wasn't me," Jack defended.

"You're a pirate," you question.

"Yes, yes I am, at heart like my father" angelica admitted.

"Pirate or not, you're still the heart of my sea," you asked.

If angelica confessed, it would be sweet and passionate. "My y/n, you are always mi amore."

Edward tech🏴‍☠️

He was one of the most fearsome pirates known to date.

In the fountain of youth, you were captured as a concubine/concubinus/partner.

You weren't exactly treated with care, always expected to somehow pleasure and entertain all the crew and its captain.

You grew to be tough once you were in the fountain of youth you were forced to join.

Phillip and syrena were the closest you had ever gotten to a friendship.

One night, you entered the cabin to confront the captain.

Though it wasn't as planned as you were held back.

It wasn't easy, but as time went on, you had grown soft for his daughter.

On the other hand, it was decided you were to be made as a pirate bride/husband/partner.

You grew to hate the life but slowly developed feelings.

As you got to the fountain of youth, it was surprising he chose to sacrifice his daughter instead of you.

Though in the end, he may have died, but it was revealed he indeed had feelings for you as he muttered out your name before falling to bone.

Joshamee Gibbs 🍻

Gibbs was Jack's loyal first mate, a member of his crew.

Gibbs was more logical than Jack was and acted like a father figure toward him as a dear friend.

Gibbs was surely never once had been in love as he valued the sea more.

One day, you came on board as Jack's "friend" to see the pearl.

as he set sail, Gibbs had taken more of a liking to you.

Jack would certainly get jealous of all the attention Gibbs is giving you.

Usually falling off the barrels as you walk past from drinking as he was caught off guard.

He would speak to you about the ways of the ship, boasting on about Jack.

Gibbs eventually settled his mind on one thing yet he had to make a hard decision to choose you or the sea.

Gibbs one night decided to take you on a date with the help of "jack".

One day, Gibbs came in to admit something.

"Ah, Master Gibbs, glad you're here, I need yo-" Jack noticed Gibbs's words.

"Jack, it ain't easy, I thought it be the sea, but oh, miss/mr/y/n was certainly a sight." Gibbs reminisced.

"Who, the girl/guy/person, well bloody didnt well know that," Jack furrowed his eyebrows.

"Jack, ye've been intertwined wit lasses before, whaddya do ta reel them in" he asked for advice.

Jack smiled, thinking, "Guess I won the bet, ye owe me a lot of shillings and doubloons Hector".

"Right mate, first you have to set the mood hm, then add some passion t'your evening then--" Jack gave Gibbs a sly look.

"Then wha" Gibbs smiled following along.

"Then you leave the next morning and set your sights on the sea," Jack smiled.

"Jack, I ain't spendin' a crack at jenny's teacup wit her/him/them," Gibbs firmly said.

"Hm, then that's on you, mate," Jack wandered off to find some rum.

If Gibbs confessed, it would be like the old school couple kind "y/n, I ain't usually interested in many bah, ye be one o' a kind, I love ye from the bottom o' the briny deep ta tha top o'tha shining stars".

Ragetti and Pintel 👁💢

Ragetti and pintel are two of the same, not the smartest but not the worst either.

One day in tortuga, the two spotted the sight of a good looking lass/lad/person.

"Look o'er there, quite a looker ey" pintel winked.

"Yeah, bets they taken though" Ragetti thought.

"Only one's way ta find out," Pintel smiled.

"Wait, we's can't just goes o'er there, i means look at them and looks at us" Ragetti halted pintel.

"Who cares if she/he/they's aint inta us, well plunder er/im/em," pintel replied.

"I wouldn't do tha', I would take em out ta sail unda' tha stars n' then dance wit them under the moonlight, reciting some love words" Ragetti swooned at his idea.

Pintel looked at Ragetti like he was repulsive "I would's bring er/im/em ta tha brigs n' if cap'n don't want er, then I'll take em" pintel smiled at the evil thought.

"Ya's ave' ta be in love ta treat em right, I wouldn't hurt em otherwise" ragetti intervened.

"Love, it's repulsive t'ward pirates, keeps us doin' mushy stuff tha aint them" Pintel cringed.

"N'alright, if ye ain't gonna treat em right, then i's will." ragetti approached you.

Pintel grabbed him by the arm. "Hangs on who's says you's get firsts claim".

"I did" ragetti growled. Then the two grabbed out their cutlasses and started to sword fight over the pettiness of you.

If the two were in love, it would be weird yet funny to watch. Ragetti would be intelligent in his ways of speaking to you while pintel would probably scare you off.

Captain Teague 🎸

Teague is an old sea salt, the keeper of codes and the first in the Brethren court.

He would be seated in the Brethren courts meeting when Jack greeted his dear old dad.

"Ello' Jackie" Teague greeted his son.

"Dad" Jack greeted back.

"Been a while, hasn't it" Jack admitted.

"Hm, seems so" Teague replied.

A woman/man/person comes around and greets their husband with a smile and curtious look.

"Who's that" Jack asked.

"They be my new mate" teague didn't reply much more then that.

"Does this mean I ave' a new parent now" Jack looked confused.

"How's mum" Jack asked curiously.

Teague pulled out a shrunken head of her as Jack smiled awkwardly. "She looks great."

You on the other hand smiled at Jack's reaction as you wrapped yourself around your husband.

"Sparrow" you muttered.

Teague treated you with respect and sometimes played his guitar to you.

If he confessed, it would be sudden. "Hmm, guess I would say I love you, but be a bit cliche really".

Bootstrap Bill🐚

Bootstrap was apart of the cursed crew on the Dutchman.

He had no free will and even missed his son.

You were the only bright part of his life, he would protect you from Davys grasp.

Bootstrap Bill in love would bring back memories of his former, dead lover arabella.

You looked after bootstrap as he talked about his son.

One day bootstrap got punished by Davy Jones.

"No, it's not her/him/them it was me" bootstrap defended.

Bootstrap held his end for you and got whipped at the boucan.

Bootstrap would be the most protective man that would stick out for you.

Bootstrap admitted his confession when you were hurt. "I'm sorry y/n, I loved you, I couldn't go through with Davy hurtin' you."

Redd the pirate 👩‍🦰

Redd was a tough woman. She was previously a wench and now she's a pirate.

Redd would be protective of you and she would defend you in any way she could.

She would hold many adventures with you and let you set sail with her.

"Seem's the ol landlubber knows how ta sail" she smiled to you.

"Seems the ol' lass knows her words" you replied.

Redd would be hanging around Tortuga while having fun.

She was auctioned off originally for being a pirate bride however she sailed with barbossas old crew on the wicked wench.

You showed redd respect compared to the rest of the drunkards.

If she confessed, she would kiss your forehead while saying, "Be not many like ye, a true lady/gent/person ta show this lass a yey ol time. I be willin ta spend e'ry shillings on ye if ye take this lass out on a blissful evenin".

Anyways that's all I have for now:

Ta Ta ✨

[moncherellie]

the few truths on the seven seas

a/n: back with a pirate AU!ellie lets gooo. i wanted to provide some fluff because i've seen some people asking for it :D

content/warnings: 1.4k words, sfw, gn reader, fluff, slight angst/yearning, mentions of pirate violence, kinda historical (?), innuendo, r gives ellie a massage but nothing happens lol

While wayfaring the vast seas, there are few truths. Pirates, by nature, are underhanded beasts with no integrity, taking every chance they can to scramble ahead, pulling you under the waves if the opportunity arises; Debaucherous lowlifes operating with the highest level of chicanery despite being, for the most part, bumbling idiots. If one makes the mistake of trusting a pirate, it may prove to be fatal. You know this all too well.

There are few truths. Sleep with one eye open- never lay on your side, or you'll be stabbed in the back. Know that you have allies, but understand you have no friends. Keep your allies close, but your enemies closer. Everyone operates under the same assumption- "everyone is out to get me," and they're right. The second someone becomes comfortable on their ship is the perfect circumstance for mutiny.

There are few truths. The key word is few. Despite pirates holding nary a thing precious, there is an unspoken understanding amongst all who traverse the waters around Jackson Island.

Captain Williams is the Lord of the Ocean, the Scourge of the Seven Seas.

Her ferocity and strength know no bounds. How else could she have risen to such an infamous position? She pushed down the part of her that felt... anything... the moment she stepped off the dock and gained her sea legs. When the Captain struts into a tavern she holds her head high, sneering as even the most revered pirates make way for her, trembling and cowering behind crates. She sits at the bar and orders potent rum while the bawds in dingy corners flutter their lashes at her, hiding their flush behind silken fans.

Every so often, she'll watch with a spark in her eye as the strumpets attempt to seduce her, but the Captain never gives in. The women eventually give up, coming to the conclusion that she truly was as cold-hearted as they all say.

When the Savage Starlight docks at the port and Captain Williams comes bounding down the creaky gangway, those who wish to live flee.

Except you. With a bright smile and open arms, you run toward the danger and the hands that have slain hundreds pick you up and swing you around, greeting you with a hearty laugh coming from deep within her soul.

"Evening, lass. Fancy meetin' you 'ere," she rasps in the euphonic husk that makes your head spin. Her voice is shot from yelling commands down to her crew, not the smooth, mellow voice she once had, but it's home all the same. It's not often that Captain Williams can make her way back to Jackson Island, but whenever she can, she makes it a point to visit her anchor; You.

You met as young street urchins with matted hair and sack clothing. You were the warmth the Captain had lacked back in the day and the warmth she desperately needed now. At that point, she was still just Ellie, idealistic and naive. She would take a wooden pike in a dank alley and stand tall, brandishing the stick as a cutlass. She'd scream to the high heavens about her future plunders, and as she mounted a barrel, you would be below her, sitting with wide eyes and admiring the glory that was Ellie Williams.

You had always known Ellie would grow up to be a woman of great power and you'd done everything you could to support that dream. You were all she had, and she was all you had. Your parents were long gone, you were abandoned by society, and old enough that the charity of strangers had run dry.

Ellie would snatch a loaf of bread and you'd trip the merchant she'd stolen from, the both of you bounding down the streets laughing up a storm. You'd share the food, giggling and pushing each other playfully. Sometimes, after being caught by local authorities (they couldn't hold you long anyway), you'd hear a ruckus above the dungeon and know instinctually that your foul-mouthed knight-in-shining-armor had come for you with a key and a new series of scars. (Presently, you liked to trace her scars while laying in her bed, recounting fondly your childhood together.)

It wasn't long before the bond had turned into something more- how could it not, after everything you two had been through? Playful shoving turned into bashful looks and touches that lingered suspiciously long. You were an inch away from being more than "just friends". With time, you'd discovered each others' feelings, and while the passion of being hers had never and would never subside, neither would the bittersweet feeling of having her leave every month, not knowing if or when she'd return.

Many days, you didn't know what to do with yourself, seeking her touch and warmth but knowing that she was living her dreams. Joining her was not an option, as Ellie would never put you in danger like that. She had seen too many allies slaughtered mercilessly to ever put you in the position to witness that. So you stayed on Jackson, twiddling your thumbs. Every day, without fail, you left your house to walk to work and your eyes would momentarily flicker to where the sky blended into the hues of the ocean, hoping that the mast and sails of the Savage Starlight would creep slowly over the horizon. There was some comfort in knowing that every day, you grew closer to when the Captain would return, and with her, your Ellie.

Ellie would never let the crew into her quarters when you were with her. She didn't want to be bothered, instead opting to make the most of her time with you. She adores how genuine you are. Being around pirates who could, at any moment, betray her, left a mark on her soul. She was constantly looking over her shoulder, never quite letting her guard down. But with you, she could strip herself of the Captain persona and feel safe, something she treasured beyond your understanding. She would take her shirt off and lay down in her bed, the plush mattress dipping as you followed her suit. Straddling her, you would knead your fingers into the muscle between her shoulder blades. She can hear the teasing lilt in your voice when you ask her how it feels, but she doesn't mind so long as you keep relieving her like that.

The biggest compliment Ellie gives you is when her eyes flicker shut, entering deep sleep and letting out small snores. You brush her bangs out of her face, kiss her cheek, and hold her close, admiring the subconscious smile adorning her face. You love that she feels comfortable in your presence. You won't let anything happen to her, and she knows that. Ellie usually has to be the arbiter, the guardian, but with you she is subdued. The door remains deadbolted, though, for if her crew saw her in this manner, they'd lose respect. But for a few days out of every month, you both find solace from the hardships of everyday life.

You hold her in the crook of your body, entangling yours and her limbs until you can't tell who is who. That's how she likes it- close, blended, one. Ellie can forget about the violence she's accustomed to (which, she admittedly seeks out) and lets the world fade away, instead focusing on the warmth of your body on her chilled skin.

When you wake up, she's already dressed, used to rising at daybreak. She sits in a chair with her legs spread, pants billowing around her legs, and elbows resting on her knees, covering her mouth with her hands. She rubs her face as her eyes take in the sight of you bathed in golden sunlight. Ellie hopes to save the feeling you give her, commit it to memory, or at the very least, savor it for the time being. Because, at the end of the day, there is no certainty on the open ocean. Who knows what could happen?

There are few truths, she thinks, as she ruefully hoists the anchor and climbs the mast. Her hair flows in the wind and she watches you wave goodbye from the creaking dock. Ellie grips the wooden finish of the crow's nest, feeling splinters slide into her palms, but the sting is nothing compared to the pain of leaving you again. She hopes she'll come back. You pray she will.

There are few truths while faring the seas, except for those that are given:

Captain Ellie Williams is irrevocably in love with you.

⚓⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪 <33

[weyounthevorta]

EDIT: Check out the newer version here, which has juicy new spicy content and two new characters (Harriman Gray and the Captain)

I saw something similar posted by @undeadgayboynes and was inspired to create my own. Which Combs character would you date?

Thy’lek Shran (Star Trek Enterprise)

‪Pros: Strong sense of justice, good at what he does, sexy, energetic. He’ll fight for what’s right and he’ll protect you with his life. He has a soft side and he’s not afraid to show it.‬

Cons: Hotheaded, a bit rash.

Anton Mordrid (Doctor Mordrid)

Pros: Fights evil, lives a quiet life. Financially stable. Has a romantic streak. Is an all around sweet guy who will bring you breakfast in bed and read to you. He teaches you wizardry.

Cons: Absolutely tragic sense of style.

Chaz (Dead Man Walking)

Pros: Is objectively very cute. He’d risk his life for yours without question. He works past his fear to achieve his goals. No doubt a snuggler big on showing affection.

Cons: Is a bit whiney, possibly has the plague. Tragic taste in nicknames.

Crawford Tillinghast (From Beyond)

Pros: Brilliant scientist and inventor. Submissive and sweet. Romance with him would be chaste and old fashioned. He’d do his best to keep you safe. Cute little guy in a big sweater.

Cons: Sexually repressed. A bad luck magnet. Despite his best efforts, trouble finds him.

Andrew Paris (Phantom Empire)

Pros: Strong sex appeal. Wears the tightest pants in existence. He wouldn’t object to spontaneous adventures. A relationship with him would be impulsive and quirky.

Cons: Any girl who flirts with him is a legit threat. He’s a slutty, wanton little strumpet.

Bill Knight (Felony)

Pros: Handsome, charismatic crime fighter. Eager to hop in bed with you if you show a smidgeon of kindness toward him. He whimpers very prettily. He’s quick and agile.

Cons: He is a total hazard. You’re in the line of fire if you hang with him. He may break into your house. He’s flown through an absurd number of windows.

D-Day (Fortress)

Pros: Adorable, good with machines. There’s kindness in him. He will risk his life for his friends. A relationship with him would consist of tentative, shy, and guarded advances.

Cons: He is easily led into dangerous situations. He needs a dentist. Hes in jail.

Weyoun (Star Trek Deep Space 9)

Pros: Ethereal. Obscenely sexy. Knows what he wants and how to get it. If he chooses to be devoted to you, he’ll be loyal unto death. Loves to have fun, and loves to tease. Kinky.

Cons: Religious nut. Can’t appreciate art, food, and many simple pleasures. Manipulative.

John Reilly (Castle Freak)

Pros: Handsome DILF. He wants to improve his life. Repentant of his sins, affectionate.

Cons: Touch starved, desperate, directionless, alcoholic, and when he falls off the wagon he falls all the way off. He also comes from a family of lunatics so there’s that.

James Wilkins (Hunter S07E13)

Pros: Sensual as fuck. Life with him would be a roller coaster ride of sex and danger. Tattoos, leather, fast cars, and he can’t keep his hands off you.

Cons: He’s a thief and a murderer. He’s attracted to women more dangerous than he is.

Milton Dammers (The Frighteners)

Pros: Once upon a time he was probably a sweet guy. He wants to rid the world of evil so desperately that he’s sacrificed his own sanity to do it.

Cons: He’s a broken man. He’s completely lost his grip on reality. He’s scarred, scared, troubled, and no you can’t fix him.

Herbert West (Reanimator)

Pros: Definitely handsome. On some level he wants to do something great for humankind. He’s capable of affection in his own bizzare way. Life with him would certainly never be dull. Despite his abrasiveness he’s got an undeniable magnetism.

Cons: Morals? Never heard of ‘em. Healthy boundaries are a non starter. His definition of intimacy likely won’t be aligned with yours. He will latch onto you like the codependent, murderous, evil little gremlin he is until one or both of you is dead or in jail.

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls, Season 2, Episode 21- Lorelai’s Graduation Day, Aka Lovesick Stepcousins In The Big City, Part 3

I'm cheering Rory on as she leaves school grounds, leaving these 35 year old classmates in the dust, and as she manages to pull it off under the eyes of two teachers or administrators. Yes yes yes! Well from here on out it's going to be pure Literati appreciation with only minimal anger and rage, you know, my usual shtick. That being said, when that happens I start to sound a little disjointed, like, this episode is so pure and precious and enjoyable that I really don't have much snarky commentary on it and I can just watch it. What am I without my snark powers?

Destiny awaits. In one of many examples of what I call "Gilmore Girls Poor"*, which is a term I coined myself for how AmyShermanPalladino views lower/middle class/urban/city life, Rory manages to end up in the Port Authority Bus Terminal in another dimension. The Alternate Dimension, 100% white, Spotlessly Clean, Nearly People-Free New York City Bus Terminal where she stared down a scary dude without being stabbed and she was offered a locker to store her book bag. (*More examples of GGP: In season 4, Jess is 19 years old, a high school dropout, and is living in a clean, rat and roach free, enormous New York City apartment with working utiltiies and large windows that in today's housing crisis people would murder him to get, he just needed a bed frame and to pick his shit up off the floor but we are supposed to believe its a crack den; Rory and Lorelai live in a beautiful home and eat take out and restaurant food every day on nothing more than an innkeeper's slary)

This was cute. Rory the little mouse getting ignored by city folk. I love it so much.

I think AmyShermanPalladino inserted this smoking guy to make it look like Rory was in a rough part of town. Someone finally gives our little mouse an abrupt answer on how to get to Washington Square Park where she can meet her stepcousin and her destiny.

The little smirk before he turns around! And then, and then...and then...the big grin when he sees her!

I am STARVING for stepcousins!!!!!! ..And the Emmy Award for the whitest words ever spoken on teleivison goes to Alexis Bledel, as Rory Gilmore in Gilmore Girls:

Baring his naked forearms like a saucy strumpet. Book sticking awkwardly out of his back pocket. He either finds the smallest books or has the roomiest ass pockets that he keeps pulling that off. How does he do that?

This is all so precious and pure I could die.

He is RAPT with attention listening to her silly stories. Show me where Dean or Logan ever paid this much attention to her telling one of these stories.

We know, Bubs. We know :(

Red alert! Red alert! Our first display of physical contact!

Jess says he eats from this hot dog cart every day. Let's unpack this: 1) Holy child neglect, Batman! I mean, Liz Danes. You can't even make your kid a peanut butter and jelly sandwich once in a while? This boy is feral. These are survival hot dogs. This may be all he can afford to eat on his own. 2) How are you still as skinny as a rail? 3) How's your blood pressure? 4) Where are you getting the money?

This sweet bubba unquestionably paid for Rory's lunch like a true gentleman.

I refuse to acknolwedge any sort of Behind the Scenes Hollywood mumbo jumbo like "Milo wasn't ACTUALLY eating the hot dog" or “umm, it’s a prop hot dog”. i am firmly committed to a scenario where everyone on the set for this episode was like "Milo our precious vegetarian baby boy we will get you a tofu hot dog to eat"

Ending this chapter with this adorable face.

[rmd-writes]

Firstprince eating off each others plates! (See my DM about specific vibes if I’m allowed 😂)

I’ve assigned each prompt I received a number and am using a random number generator to choose which prompt to write because I got quite a few from you all! If you’ve sent me one, I promise I will get to it!! Because I’m using these prompts to try to shake words loose after a bout of writer’s block, these are all just whatever I can come up with in ~20min and barely edited 💖

Thanks for the prompt, Ally! Hopefully I’ve captured the vibes you asked for here 🙏🏽

Seeing as it’s Sunday night, I’m taking the opportunity to use this as my seven sentence/snippet Sunday post!

24. Eating off each other’s plates

“Hello, strumpet,” a familiar voice says from the doorway.

Alex twists in his chair to confirm what he knows – Pez is standing in the doorway.

“You look in dire need of an intervention, poppet,” Pez declares as he crosses the room.

“Hey Pez,” Alex says, leaning forward to accept the cheek kiss that Pez offers. “You’re looking fabulous.”

“Always,” he replies, spinning so that Alex can get the full effect of his cropped, lavender hair, floral blouse and tight black jeans cuffed above embossed black patent leather combat boots. “This is an intervention by the way. Henry sent me up, certain that I might have better luck coaxing you out of this den.”

Alex looks around. There are stacks of paper covering his desk, and the floor. As well as textbooks, pens and several empty coffee mugs strewn across his desk.

“I’m studying, I don’t need a fucking intervention,” he insists.

Pez wrinkles his nose. “Oh honey, you do. Trust me. Up you pop! Haz tells me you’ve found some amazing food trucks close by and there are empanadas calling my name.”

—

Alex sits beside Henry, their shoulders and knees pressed together as they eat, while Pez sits across from them moaning obscenely as he eats the empanadas and declares them “the best thing I’ve ever put in my mouth.”

“High praise, considering the long list of things that have been in your mouth,” Henry says drily.

Pez is clearly delighted by his friend’s response and Alex grins. He loves it when Henry is like this – happy and relaxed enough to let his snarky side out. There are very few people who get to see this side of him, but it might be Alex’s favourite.

Alex had ordered every kind of empanada on offer in rapid-fire Spanish, gesturing at Pez and explaining to the woman behind the counter why he and Henry weren’t just ordering their standard order.

There’s an array of paper boats holding the crescent-shaped pastries on the table and Alex has one in front of him.

“Is that the chorizo?” Henry asks him. Alex nods. “Here, swap, I have your favourite spicy beef ones.”

Alex sucks a bit of filling off the end of his thumb before reaching for the paper tray in front of Henry. He doesn’t miss the way that Henry’s eyes dip to his mouth as he does so, or the way that Henry’s pupils dilate a little. He smirks.

And if he makes sure to get some of the coriander crema on his finger when he dips his empanada into the container so that he can lick it off again, well, no one can prove it was deliberate.

(You can read all of my intimate moments prompts here)

Thanks for the tags @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @redshirt2 💖

Tagging @welcometololaland @lightningboltreader @everwitch-magiks @clottedcreamfudge @rosedavid @lilythesilly @nontoxic-writes @stutteringpeach @inexplicablymine @daisymae-12 (art wip maybe?) @jesuisici33 @hippolotamus @stereopticons @kiwiana-writes @carlos-in-glasses @liminalmemories21 @reyesstrand @freneticfloetry @strandnreyes @three-drink-amy @alrightbuckaroo to please leave me with snippets to wake up to??? 💖

[cricketnationrise]

Congratulations on 500 followers omg you definitely deserve it!! I love, love, LOVE your fics I swear your writing never fails to make my day!!<3

16:04

Anywhere in the brownstone

Percy Okonjo

(I'm ThePlayfulFairy on ao3)

PEZ MY BELOVED

thanks for the excuse to write some more of him, with bonus Henry friendship because i love that too.

read the rest of the ficlets here

❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙

4:04pm, the brownstone

Now

“Henry, I’ve found it. I’m sending you the address right now, so get your royal backside in gear and get here as soon as bloody possible.”

Pez sends the voice note with a distracted tap, not taking his eyes off the facade of the building in front of him.

Then

“What do you think about me helping out more with the shelters?” Henry’s wringing his hands—not playing with the signet ring as usual, although Pez has his own private suspicions about where that particular heirloom fidget toy has gone—which means he’s nervous.

“You’re already donating every cent you can get away with, Hazza—”

“I mean— What if I were more hands on?”

The lightbulb goes off in Pez’s head. “The New York shelter. You want to move to The States.”

Henry ducks his head with a blush. “It would be a good way to give back more immediately than donating could ever be.”

“And you want to be closer to your strumpet.”

Henry blushes again, but doesn’t deny it. “It would be enough to be in the same time zone more than a few times a year.”

Pez pulls his best friend in for a fierce hug. “Then let’s make it happen, babes. The Brooklyn location will need a Director once it’s done being renovated.”

Now

A sleek SUV with blacked-out windows pulls up to the curb where Pez is waiting. He bounces on his heels while the PPO’s do a sweep of the building. When they return with the all-clear, Pez bounds forward to haul Henry out of the car.

“See? Isn’t it bloody perfect? The whole building is up for sale—not on the general market, my realtor tipped me off that the current owner is looking to move out of the city.”

“Pez…” Henry’s speechless, gazing up at the perfectly maintained brickwork and welcoming front stoop nestled among the rest of the brownstones on the block.

Then

Hazza: PEZ PEZ I GOT PERMISSION DISGRUNTLED, BACKED INTO A CORNER, RELUCTANT PERMISSION BUT PERMISSION NONETHELESS I’M ALLOWED TO MOVE TO NEW YORK

Auntie Pezza: [excited.gif] [muchexcite.pic] [sqealing_charlotte.gif] HEN YOU BEAUTIFUL BEAN SPROUT YOU’RE EVEN MULTIPLE TEXTING IN ALL CAPS I’M SO BLOODY PROUD

Hazza: The situation did seem to call for it. I guess Alex has been rubbing off on me.

Auntie Pezza: HENRY I’M—

Hazza: Wait.

Auntie Pezza: I’M SURE HE IS 

Hazza: Don’t. I beg you to not.

Auntie Pezza: IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE

Hazza: I really should know better by now.

Auntie Pezza: 🍆💦🍆💦🍆💦 You really should.

But seriously you should send me whatever draconian security measures your new abode will have to accommodate and i’ll get someone looking asap

Now

Pez escorts Henry up the steps and into the brownstone with unrestrained glee, delighting at the awe and dawning excitement on Henry’s face as he looks around.

Each room they pass through is well taken care of, and clearly well-loved. Nothing is pristine; doorways and floors and furnishings bear the hallmarks of age and growing children. There’s heaps of windows letting in natural light, catching the edge of Henry’s smile as he drags his fingers along countertops and railings. Henry doesn’t interrupt Pez’s monologue about the specifics as they climb the stairs to the top floor, content to listen as Pez rambles on about bedroom size and how long it's been since the bathrooms were updated. He doesn’t speak at all, in fact, until they get to the main suite.

“Oh,” Henry gasps, staring at the bay window overlooking the street. Pez watches him move toward it as if drawn by magnets, one hand already reaching out to stroke the window frame reverently. Pez congratulates himself—he knew Henry would love the rest of the house, but that the window would sell him completely.

“I’ll take it,” Henry says, resolute. He’s sat on the cushion in the window now, looking down at the people bustling on the sidewalk below. He looks at home there, like the house was designed with this moment in mind.

“I’ll get my realtor on it,” Pez says, already texting furiously. “And I know a few contractors from the shelter that could do the security updates the Crown will insist on and—”

“Pez.”

“Hmm?” He pauses and looks up at his best friend at the sound of his name.

“Thank you.”

Pez crosses the room, pulls Henry up and into a tight hug. “It’s my genuine pleasure, Henry.” He squeezes a little tighter before pulling back, smirking. “Reckon Alex will cry when you tell him?”

[jmagnabo92]

Funny Moments of Others with First Prince

Here's a list (in no particular order of funny moments of others with regards to First Prince):

Cash opening the door of the supply closet: "This looks Cozy" - "Yep, we're really Bonding."

Bromance Alerts - Comment "OMFG, Make Out Already."

Luns: "Instead, let's talk about your little European vacation. Can I expect a joint Christmas present from you and the Prince this year." Alex avoids it, later, "Okay, okay. He's a looker, huh?" "Yeah, I mean, if you're into, like, fairy tail princes." "Is anyone not?" "I'm not." "Right."

Alex calls on Christmas. Apologizes and goes to hang up. Henry: "Alex, Christ. It's fine. It's half two here, everyone's gone to bed. Except Bea. Say hi, Bea. "Hi Alex! Henry's got his candy-cane Jim-jams on -" "That's quite enough."

Later, June: "Oh my god, Alex, you made a friend!" ... "I'm so proud of you." "... He's not my friend..." ... "Nope. Tell me everything about your new best friend, who a royal. That's so bougie of you. Who would have guessed it? Omg this is like all those romantic comedies where the girl hires a male escort to pretend to be her wedding date and then falls in love with him for real." "That is not at all what this is like."

June's reaction to the Polo Match: "I'm sorry, Zahra said you're bailing on the fund-raiser this weekend because you're going to a polo match in Connecticut?" "Listen, I'm trying to keep up a geopolitical public relations ruse here." "Dude, people are writing fan fiction about ya'll -" "Yeah, Nora sent me that." " - I think you can give it a rest." "The Crown wants me there!" (in his thoughts, Alex notes a look that he should be concerned about if he wasn't thinking about Henry's mouth.

At the match. Amy: "I don't like that look. You look... sweaty." "I'm gonna go, uh, say hi to Henry." "Please don't elaborate." "Yeah, I know. Plausible deniability." "I don't know what you possibly mean." "Sure. Yep." "Enjoy your summit with the English delegation."

Zahra sends him a link to the "Best Bromance Ever" and writing "Good work, you little shit." Oh, Zahra, if only you knew.

Alex's Hickey. Zahra: "Is that a Hickey?" "I... um, no?" "Do I look stupid to you, Alex? Who is giving you hickeys and why have you not gotten them to sign an NDA." "OMG, if I needed an NDA, you would know. Chill." Zahra does not appreciate being told to Chill and goes onto threaten him.

Pez answering Alex's phone call to Henry. "Alexander, babes. How lovely for you to give your auntie Pezza a ring on this magnificent Sunday Morning." "Hi Pez, where are y'all?" "We are out for a drive, taking in the scenery of Carmarthenshire. Say Good Morning to your strumpet, Henry." "Good Morning, strumpet. What's got you up at four in the morning this time?" ... later, Alex gets Henry to say the name of where he's staying and Pez says, "I was hoping you two would start talking dirty, please do go on."

There's more but this is long. This book is just so funny.

[bloodycyrano]

Old slang words I had to learn in middleschool that I feel are certainly in Team Tadpoles vernacular.

Arfarfanarf- A drunk. Used to describe someone who's had a few too many- I feel like Gale used it once or someone read it in one of his books, and they immediately started making fun of it because it just sounded like a funny word. But then they started using it so often as a joke that it just became part of regular speech among team tadpole.

Gigglemug- Used to describe someone with an infectious smile.- Usually in reference to Karlach.

Pine overcoat- A coffin.- Primarily used by Durge and Astarion. Need I explain?

Strumpet- a whore or prostitute.- I feel like Astarion got into an argument with someone and called them an ignorant strumpet. We all know he would call someone way worse if it came down to it.

Church bell- Referring to someone who talks so much that their voice reminds you of the incessant jangling of church bells. Maybe in the baldurs gate universe, it would be Temple bell.- Some NPCs just talk too much, and you know it.

Gal-sneaker- In reference to a man who tries to seduce every person he sees.- I feel like this was used when gossiping about act 1 Astarion.

Mutton-shunter- Slang for police officers in the Victorian Era, similar to how "Pig" is used today.- I feel like anyone who's had to sneak around Baldurs Gate at night doing illegal shit would get used to hearing this/using this in reference to the iron fists.

Coffee sisters- Used in reference to a group of gossiping women.- Astarion and Shadowheart gossip, you can't tell me otherwise. This has 100% been used in reference to them and possibly even to try and get them to shut up.

Dizzy age- A term meaning Elderly, or in reference to really old people.- Astarion. Grumpy, cantankerous old man Astarion. I feel like people would tease him and make comments about him being in his Dizzy age; much to his own frustrations. His voice would probably get a bit high, and he'd likely get extremely defensive. "Uh-! *Dizzy age?* I'm a *Vampire.* Eternally young. One of the first things that *should* come to mind when you think of vampires, darling." He may be a little pissier if it came from Jaheira, resident old lady.

[bitbybitwrites]

A number of lovely folks have tagged me in both Six/Seven/Some Sentence Sunday and WIP Wednesday ( and even the last line tag game) these past couple of weeks and I haven't been ignoring you. I actually have been meaning to post something. I've just been busy with Real Life.

So thank you so much for thinking of me: @sunnysideprince, @iboatedhere @onthewaytosomewhere @wordsofhoneydew @getmehighonmagic @daisyishedwig @forabeatofadrum @itsmaybitheway @nocoastposts @fallevs @taste-thewaste and I apologize if I've forgotten anyone😳

So here's some words for you ( definitely not 6 sentences) from 2 WIP (one Klaine and one RWRB)

From how ardently I admire and love you (RWRB online auction fic)

“Alexander, darling, to what do I owe this pleasure?” Pez leaned back in his chair, grinning.  His hair was electric blue today, as were his nails. His suit was bright, bold and couture, but only something that Pez could pull off. “Help me, Obi-Wan Okonjo, you're my only hope.” “With what now?  You do know Hazza is at a luncheon with more prospective donors for the shelter.  He should be back in an hour or so.” Alex huffed as he  plopped himself down in the chair in front of Pez’ desk.  “It’s why I came now.  I didn’t want him to be around to overhear.  I need help with his birthday present.  I can’t figure out what to get him.” Pez’ laughter rang out rich and warm.  “Alex, my dear Padawan, why are you stressing out about this?  You do know that you could just tie a bow around your . .” Pez coughed lightly, his eyes drifting downward as he smirked suggestively. Alex groaned.  “I know.  I know.  I was thinking something else would be better. . . I don't know . . something more spectacular.” “You are seriously underestimating how spectacular Haz finds your dick, my sweet strumpet.”

from I Know You Wanna Take Me Home (Klaine Valentines Challenge 2024/Pretty Woman!AU)

“Kurt!” a familiar voice said happily.  “You made it!” Kurt sighed as he looked over to his ex, and now best friend, Adam Crawford, who was clutching a whisky glass in hand, his eyes scanning the various young men that were cruising the room for attention Some of the young men were scantily clad in tight boxer briefs and barely buttoned Oxford shirts.  Some were in actual full private school type uniforms, wearing a navy blazer piped with red, each with a distinctive “D” monogram on the chest. They sauntered about the room: ties undone, hair rakishly disheveled. All of them gorgeous. Adam was obviously searching for someone in particular and  barely seemed to hear Kurt who snarked: “Were you missing home, Adam?  Does this posh-boys-private-school atmosphere do something for you?” “Ahh, Kurt, tease all you want, “ Adam said as he slung his free arm around Kurt's shoulders grinning widely.  “You've never enjoyed the delights of British boarding schools.  These Dalton boys would fit right in with the chaps from Eton any day.”

Kurt raised an eyebrow.  That was what he heard.  The young men from Dalton House weren’t just lookers.  They were well versed in everything from English Literature to economics. They could hold their own in academic debates while also using those dexterous mouths and tongues to suck your brains out of your cock.  Brains and beauty - and all of them looking for older (preferably more financially well off) “patrons”. Or so the rumors went.

I'm going to leave this as an open tag for anyone who reads this. :)