#gets reminded i’ve met the actor man (the other one too) and

[lyricswrittenbythesecretdreamer]

Haunted

“You remind me of a man I used to know.”  

I was watching the embers in the fire die, and the thought just came, out loud. The Ghoul chewed an unknown meat off the stick he’d skewered it on, not looking up to dignify my statement with even so much as a grunt. Maybe not then, I thought sadly. Maybe all the men like Cooper had died when the bombs dropped. I certainly hadn’t met a man like him since we’d said goodbye to each other at that party. Still, I continued.  

“He was a lot friendlier than you – though I suppose actors are predisposed to high levels of charisma.” I smiled to myself from behind the handkerchief covering my face, thinking of how simple the past now seemed in comparison to the present.  

“Actor?” It was first word I’d heard him speak since he told me to put out the fire that had cooked our dinner and it brought me from my daydream of my old life.  

“Yeah, actor. One of the good ones, most of the time anyway.” I chuckled to myself, remembering the tantrums he used to have on set if something wasn’t entirely accurate.  

“How would you have known an actor?”  

“Well, if you must know, I was-”   

I was cut off by a knife flying past my face and narrowly missing my eye, and then there was a body on top of mine, all flailing limbs and trying to stab me, grabbing a hold of my neck and head to hold me down. I grabbed the pocket knife hidden in my coat and wounded my attacker, before rolling the both of us over and pushing his face into the dying ashes. Their screams echoed out against the darkness of the wasteland, and I heard several gunshots. I took my pistol from my belt and shot whoever had tried to jump me in the back of his skull, letting him fall limply beside me.  

I look up through the dying light to see the Ghoul surveying our surroundings, before looking down at me and I realised with horror I didn’t have the handkerchief covering my face anymore.  

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t Rosie Ryder,” he let out an audible laugh, “What are you doin’ out in the Wasteland?”  

My face went bright red, and I huffed.  

“Even after the apocalypse, people still just know me as the girl who played the hooker that got her titties out for Cooper Howard,” I rolled my eyes and sighed, “I’ve done other movies, you know.”  

“Yeah, you were great in Under the Covers,” he chuckled again, “although for you that film must have mostly been about shooting all that kissin’ you did to the poor bloke. I bet his lips were chapped at the end of every day!”  

“You a fan of Cooper Howard?” I asked, looking him up and down, “this get-up of yours seems pretty inspired by his work.”  

“You could say that, Little Miss Ryder.”  

I laughed bitterly and gestured down at the three bodies around us.  

“We should probably find somewhere else to sleep tonight, in case anyone heard the gunshots.”  

I checked the pockets of the bodies but couldn’t find anything other than a couple of caps and a gun with some ammo still left in it.  

“No chems?” he asked, and I shook my head.  

“No chems.”  

*** 

As we continued in our direction, the Ghoul became more talkative.  

“So, if you were Little Miss Rosie Ryder, you must be at least two hundred and something years old,” he began, “So how are you here right now?” 

I shrugged.  

“It’s a long, long story. We don’t got that much time, Ghoulie.”  

Eventually we came across a shabby-looking shack that looked just about safe enough for the night and might potentially keep us safe from any radstorm that might decide to descend onto us. And maybe from any raiders, too.  

The Ghoul went in first, checking the inside whilst I set a bear trap up in front of the door, before following him inside. It seemed as if someone might have been living here for a bit – there was a sofa and a little table, as well as a small counter with what looked like to be a broken-down hob. No signs of life anymore, though. Everything had a thick layer of dust coating it, and any essentials seem to have been hastily removed when the last occupier had left. 

“The walls seem pretty sturdy and the roof’s secure,” he said, “did you put a bear trap outside the door?”  

“Yeah, don’t wanna take the risk we did earlier.” I sighed. “Still, can’t help but think we’re still sitting ducks if someone breaks in. We’re not exactly in the safest area – I know at least two Raider groups who have bases nearby.” 

“They’ll break in and come face to face with my pistol aimed at their skulls, sweetheart.”  

“Oh, I’m ‘sweetheart’ now, am I? Now that you know what I look like under all these clothes?”  

The Ghoul stepped closer to me, the shadow of his hat towering over me.  

“Maybe I jus’ appreciate those actin’ skills of yours,” he murmured, “on top of that fine figure.” He stepped back from me and sat down on the sofa, slouching.  

“I’ll take first watch, Little Miss Rosie. I’ll wake you in a few hours and when the light comes, we’ll continue, and you can tell me that long, long story of yours.”  

*** 

Susie Wellington was coiffuring my hair for my first scene, as I sat tugging on my cotton skirt trying to psyche myself up for the scene ahead. We’d rehearsed it a bunch of times in table reads but this was the real thing – closed set and all.  

“Susie, I think the leading lady’s hair’s done up enough for now,” came a voice from the corner, “and you should be making your way back to the dressing rooms. I’m sure Little Miss Rosie Ryder here doesn’t want another cast member staring at her tits.”  

I looked up in relief as Cooper appeared beside us, cigarette in hand. Susie didn’t look to happy about having to leave her creation as it was, but only pursed her lips and bid me goodbye.  

“You excited for your first scene, Little Miss Rosie?” he asked, and I felt a strange sense of deja vu come over me at his words. I ignored it and put a shaky smile on my face.  

“I’m excited to get the nudity outta the way, that’s all I’m gonna say!” I giggled a bit, and he laughed alongside me.  

“Well, there’ll be a barrier in place of everythin’ and that dress of yours ain’t comin’ off completely. Gotta keep them perverts on their toes.” He winked at me, and I tried to keep the smile on my face, but under it all, I felt as if this was very dangerous.  

As he kissed me softly in front of the cameras and rolled his eyes playfully as the director asked him to push my dress up to show more of my skin, I felt something lurking in the shadows. Once this was shot, there was no going back and for some reason, I felt completely doomed.  

*** 

I woke up with a start, flinging my body forward. From the sofa, the Ghoul shushed me, holding a gloved finger over my mouth.  

I could hear something outside, and I assumed that was what woke me up. It was a strange sound, of someone dragging their feet through the dirt and the mud. We sat there in silence for a full half an hour, until the dragging sound moved away from the hut and back out into the darkness.  

“You mind takin’ the next watch, Sweetheart?” he said, “I need to get a couple hours kip in before we set off tomorrow.”  

“Sure,” I say tentatively, pulling out my pistol. “I’m glad you finally trust me.”  

“Well, I’m a huge fan.” He laid heavy emphasis on the ‘huge’, winking at me through the dusk light. I rolled my eyes, but inside I felt a little proud for some stupid goddamn reason.  

Back when I started acting, I didn’t think I’d have any living fans – never mind a half-dead irradiated man from 200 years in the future. Is he half-dead? It’d never been explained to me at the brothel – I’d just done my service and taken the RadAway. None of the others had ever stuck around to tell me their life story.  

We switched places, I sat myself down on the sofa and the Ghoul lay down on the bedroll on the floor.  

“Damn, this shit is fuckin’ uncomfortable.” I heard him say, and I let out a laugh under my bed.  

“I didn’t complain,” I whispered, and he made a grunting noise. I wasn’t sure if it was meant to be an insult or not, but I just chuckled quietly and pulled out my pistol, aimed at the door ready for anyone who tried to force their way through.  

The sun rose quickly after that, and by the light of the sky, I was able to get a better look at the Ghoul’s sleeping face. There was something so familiar about him, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I decided it was the cowboy look – it reminded me of the niche I’d almost fallen into after my three-month contract with Cooper’s team. The audience had loved our chemistry on screen in The Man from Calabasas, and the studios knew they’d get a lot more money if we came as a package deal – so we shot Under the Covers, City of Starlight and Valley of the Gun together. It took me back to the last film I’d shot, the one I hadn’t finished shooting.  

I looked down at my clothes – the same clothes I’d been wearing 200 years ago on set. The ‘Western Hooker’ dress, of which there had originally been five different versions. The hat, which I’d stolen from my co-worker as a joke, but had still been on my head when we’d been told to start running. For a moment, I could still smell the food that they’d made us on set. I could still smell the horse manure, and the flashing of lights.  

I looked back at the Ghoul, awake now, and almost came to a realisation.

Part 2

[savagewildnerness]

I’ve done separate piano & violin improvisations for Nicolas’ unfulfillable yearning. This one is more for me, so I’ll add the Nicolas book reference to the violin one.

I really relate to Nicolas in some ways. When I first read TVL, I was a 12-year-old. I’d played violin for 4 years, but only from free lessons in school. I’d also *just* begun piano lessons. I’d adored music since I remember (I danced from age 2 & felt the music - it conjured images within me, like a magic), but I knew I was too old when I started playing instruments. Nobody was musical in my family. I only had short, free violin lessons. 12 is very old to just begin on piano and 8 is quite old on violin. I’d never be great at either. I knew. And for me, great had to be perfection as a child - the utter best. I relate to a certain despair & yearning in Nicolas. And I do not have Lestat’s charisma, drive or enduring personality.

But I see the world entire more like Lestat. Aesthetically, I see the world Lestat’s way. Art is my love. I feel the savage beauty of the world. I believe in the goodness of art. I never believed in religion in any way. I also try to put positivity into the world & actually I relate to Lestat in that I think he too has a lot of internal darkness that maybe Nicki doesn’t know & I imagine Lestat feels seen when he feels Nicki’s art - Nicki who can turn his darkness into art for others to feel from. Whereas Lestat can only make others happy with his art! And yet, he would have been hugely successful as an actor, I know, had he remained mortal.

I cannot relate to Nicki’s feelings around religion, nor to his envy and cynicism. I find it sad he doesn’t think on Lestat’s struggles - Lestat, still illiterate now, as an adult. And a tragedy Lestat sees Nicolas through rose-tinted love & doesn’t understand the depth of despair & desperation within Nicki & the chasm of pain at his core that could never be resolved. Lestat thinks “if only Nicolas could understand what I mean when I say art is goodness!” - it’s a beautifully naive and simply idealistic hope - a hope that Nicolas could never feel. Yet both Nicki and Lestat are sensitive & artistic and there is a sense on which their differences create something - they create the space in which their conversation can take place. Nicki sees Lestat in ways he has never been seen before. Had Lestat never met Nicki, I think he may have lacked some internal sense of his self worth. But Nicki turns his torment into art, whereas Lestat shows the world his radiant light. And sadly, Nicki is right that he could never fully reach the greatness he would wish. I mean, I knew I'd never be a great violinist having begun to play aged 8. The idea Nicki could be (sorry Anne Rice!) is frankly, ridiculous! Even if Mozart did teach him! As if Mozart would teach a beginner anyway though!!

I think even had Lestat remained mortal Nicki and Lestat would have ended in tragedy. But that’s not to say there wasn’t love. Lestat absolutely loved Nicolas & I think Nicolas truly loved Lestat too. It’s just his own self hatred was so all-consuming it nearly took Lestat as well as himself.

I’m reminded of a man who once told me: play your music with your friends! Get their input! Create together! With (apparently) zero understanding how isolated my entire life is & always was.

Oh, I might not understand Nicolas fully because in some ways he is too close to me & in other ways he is too different. But Nicki’s pain & yearning with regards to his art, and his existence - the impossibility that always was and ever will be for him... that, I understand.

[czache78]

Turned on the 2013 Romeo and Juliet movie today cause I wanted to watch something while doing embroidery, I’ve heard it’s not good lol

It actually wasn’t too bad?? I mean I like the 1996 version better, but this one is pretty accurate to what the original play is and hey it had good background instrumental things. One thing I did notice was that it changed some of the dialogue a bit, which I get for things that people wouldn’t know (like “put up your sword” means “put down your sword” lol) but then some of them didn’t make sense? Like they switched “thou wilt” to “you will” for some parts but not others?? They did add a couple bits of dialogue that were cool though, like Romeo said when going into the tomb and seeing Tybalt “I will now kill the man that killed you” which is kinda cool (paraphrasing)

Ok one thing about the 1996 movie is that benvolio didn’t have a big role in it at all. However, with this one he has a lot bigger role. He’s the one rather than Balthazar that is outside the tomb when romeo goes in, which I always think is a cool take to give benvolio more of a connection to Romeo. I think they added dialogue there too? anyway ;(And ahh it was so sad when benvolio went to tell Romeo about Juliet’s “death”,,, that was one of the parts that stood out to me. Also benvolio looks so young in this compared to Romeo and Mercutio lol, I’ll have to look up how old the actors were bc Romeo did NOT look like 16 or smth. A couple other characters I felt had a bit of a bigger role in this were friar Lawrence and the nurse. With the friar, they added some bits at the end after r&j die where they just show him grieving. And the nurse, well first of all literally every time r&j would make out the nurse would just like walk in on them lol, but anyway the scene where she finds Juliet “dead” was really good and sad, another part that stood out to me. Ummm what else, oh yeah, that was an interesting little scene where (I think it was after r&j met and kissed and Juliet was going back inside??) Tybalt pulled her aside and was like “I love thee cousin” and Juliet just moves his hand off her, she’s so done lol. I think it’s always an interesting thing when the directors directly state that Tybalt is in love with Juliet,,, I don’t think so and um that’s a little weird but whatever ig. The actor playing Tybalt did a pretty good job at being angry ig, he reminds me of Tybalt in the Hungarian version of romeo es julia. And also I like Leonardo DiCaprio’s romeo better than this one,, this one looked older and didn’t really idk show emotions?? Some of his scenes and lines with Juliet I got creepy vibes from and with the 1996 version romeo just shows how he’s absolutely devastated at well, everything. Even the 1968 version he’s crying on the floor at friar Lawrence’s. This one was just kinda basic idk lol,, he didn’t really show how much he loved Juliet (or mercutio honestly, he did do a good job of screaming at Tybalt tho lol)

All in all it’s not my favorite but it’s decent and has some extra parts added that I liked :)

Alrighty anyway,,, sorry if that was messy lol I just wanted to comment on some stuff :))

[puffins-studio]

Gallifrey One!

I was just going to do a post about me giving my dolls to the different actors who were there but the whole experience at Gally was just something in it own. Warning I can and will ramble so this is long

I think this kinda set up my weekend. But one of the first things I got to do at Gally was meet Katiegangel. It just special as she is the first well know person online I meet and the first person I have meet in person who I’ve mailed a doll too. I did that thing were you see someone you recognized online and I didn’t know if I should go up to them or not. I just got there after like like a 7 hours in the car I had literally just gotten my tag and walked into the met room. And it was funny as, as I was waiting these two people came by like ‘ribbon?’ And I was just shaking ’yes!’ And they give me a Jo themed ribbon(I love Jo, I feel if I was in doctor who I would be a bit like her and I have a special place for 3 as he remind of my grandpa) but I was just like ‘I love Jo’ as I had nothing else in my brain.

But when I went up to Katie I very much not knowing what I should say was just ‘am the one who made the dolls’ and with the mask and the noise I had to say it two times but I think just the little noise she made at realization and the and crushing hug she give. it made everything feel like it will all go okay. the hugs were just very sweet and just us both trying to compliment each others works

And I had to get a picture

I also got to met my friend @picnokinesis! and for a moment I was reunited with my master doll ahah

I had a blast with them and their friends! when I wasn't running around the con and I was hanging with them, and I actually felt apart of a group of friends for once! there were all amazing and I hope I can see them all in person again! we even had a proper fam goodbye hug and I will remember that

Frazer Hines / Jamie McCrimmon

He was the first one I did the pictures with and the first one I give the dolls too. I kinda made it that why as he was the reason why I decide to go to a con(it also went how you expected and his dolls were the last ones I finished). I went into the pictures and he was like “oh did you make this?” and I was just “yes!” He thought it was lovely. And when I give them to, he immediately showed his handler and was looking at the details and when I asked to take a picture of him with the dolls he asked if I wanted to be in the photo too and he popped up and rushed to came to the other side of the table.

Also just them being held up by a box of Girl Scout cookies, is just really funny (and now I also must share the idea of if the dolls your alive, imagine mini Jamie and 2nd doctor just siting on the table both trying to eat a normal size cookies as people walked by. )

Bonnie Langford / Mal Bush

I took a picture with Bonnie and the dolls and she said the doll was perfect with the right colors. And she called me sweetheart. When I went to give her the doll I was chatting with her handle a little bit as Bonnie was in the middle of story and the handler noticed the doll I was holding and silently asked if I was giving it to Bonnie and I nodded and then I talked about how I made my river book, my coat, and scarf and she thought it was cool. I said I was thinking of set and costumes design and she was like “it all make sense now” And when I mentioned that I crocheted my scarf, the handler was like yeah! And held up her crochet she bought and said I did mine really well (lol I had some practice crocheting a tiny 4 and 13 scarf) and she was also amazed I got the puffy sleeves. But even Bonnie was like you should sell them,

Katy Manning / Jo Grant

Katy Mannibg! Jo!! So Jo is one of my favorites! I love her to death. And when I went to take a picture before I could even say anything, it was just HUG like an octopus

When I want to get her signature/ give the dolls, without even doing anything she leaned across the table and give me another hug. And when I handed her my river book she did a little doodle in my book as she felt like it and then she grab the grey pan and was like ‘oh now she gray’ to give Jo/herself greyed hair. and when I give her the dolls an she thought they were so nice, she said I was very clever for making them and got up and to come around to give me a big hug. I was just really happy to see her. I was very happy I got to tell her she does some of my favorite audios and I love all version of Jo as she said talking about how some people like the old Jo and some like the new Jo. she was just sweet and keep talking, she even mentioned how her grandkids would look at a Jo doll and say she their grandma. it was just so love to have meet her. and there's also just something about Katy calling you darling that make you feel special.

Colin Baker / 6th doctor

Colin was like “bye little me” when I was leaving the photo and I thought that was great (I got scared for a bit as I sat on a panel and was remind he have said he didn’t like the 6th doctor’s coat before) but he seem very excited, when I give him the doll he was like “it just like me, he has the perfect facial expression” And then he give me a ribbon! (it was one of his quote from the show, but I left it in my pocket it in the coat I left in the car and I been stuck on campus since the con so I can't go get and write what it says right now)

Sophie Aldred / Ace Mcshane

I was dying, when I was going down the elevator in the morning, the doors opened on one floor and it was Sophie!! And she came into my elevator. My mom was there with me and I knew she was confused as someone in the elevator was just like ‘yes of course we have room for you!’ and my mom could tell she was important by just the name tags so I leaned over and whisper she is ace. And in the car my mom said I looked like I was going to cry in that moment (it also was funny as my mom knows am asexual and I always say ace when talking about it, so when I was like ace this and ace that at the con she was confused for a bit.)

But I think she love the doll, it had all the embroidery on it. And she immediately showed her handler. and I think she was one of the ones who had the doll on display. She also liked she could pick any page in the river book I made, as she closed her eyes and opened it to a random page and I thought that was sweet.

Ace is one of my favorites and if you like her you should read Sophies's books she wrote for Ace. in her talk Sophie said she wrote the origin story one all on her own (and if you have read it, you know a little special thing she did in it that makes that she wrote it very sweet) and she said she originally wanted to have he master be the villein in that story, and I was there like !!! my brain started running with ideas of the mater with the doctor she wrote in the story (am like it would be funny if it was Ainley!master or any other master). the scripted with her was so fun! she hid behind a curtain at one point. and did lines for the 7th doctor. at the end there were also singing as the script was of the story Ghost Light. I felt very proud as I was probably the young person of the 20 who were there and I was able to raise my hand when they asked if we all seen that episode.

Jodie Whittaker / 13th doctor

When I did a picture with her I brought my master doll too as I had to (I also had him photobomb the 13 going picture and I've wondered if anyone have spotted him in the photo yet, as some spotted him when we were doing the last picture at the 13 meet up)

Am pretty sure she said they were nice when I want up there, my brain was and is all fuzzy, but a few said that. The lines for her autoghic were really line and really fast so I felt wried if I held it up since they had a box for gifts but I wanted to see her reaction. But she called my dolls brilliant 💕and she was happy to see I did Anna too from adult life skills. I was all shaky because of my anxiety. but just her calling them brilliant is everything.

Wendy Padbury / Zoe Heriot

For Wendy am sorry but she was one my brain was mush for as I was starting to get drain I had just give Jodie dolls so I was all jelly and can't really remember everything she said. But am pretty sure she liked them. I have picture of her looking a bit shock when she saw them, so that makes me happy. I think she liked the 2nd doctor one too.

For the dolls I was trying to make he character in doctor who and I made their doctor for the old companions who the doctor has passed, I though of it as I especially wanted to do that for Frazer as he voiced 2 in some audios and Katy as she just did a little story about always remembering her doctor. And I had to give Wendy a 2 as I wanted to and am a twin so I had to make it fair. I made two of Jodie as I kinda wanted to make more then one but I didn't want to play favorites with the fam.

Janet Fielding / Tegan Jovanka

My anxiety was kicking my butt at the time as the weekend was starting to get to me. For Janet she liked it and then I think she thought it was nice/ funny as I was in the 13 script read and I got to go up and read lines for Tegan and I totally forget I had a little Tegan in my pocket I was so excited to be up there. but I had to told her the little Tegan was my good luck chem. no picture of her with the dolls as I didn't want to hold up the line even more. and again I don't have the photo I took with her on my phone and can't take a picture of it right now.

It was really funny as when they were trying to pick someone for the script read. A guy yelled out he was Australian to get the part but they said no they wanted someone with a bad Australian accent and so I took my chance and randomly yelled out “people thick am Australian” As I have lost count of the number of people who have asked because of my screech impairment and the fact I can talk fast, if am Australian(I keep track of all the places people think am from as I find it fun). And then Jodie picked me! and this was a funny picture is from of just me being over excited, all the others are of me grinning like an idiot. I didn't think she actually picked me for a moment and I thought it was someone behind me, but I ran up and forgot my script and then I had to run back to get it.

there also this (https://twitter.com/trulyafiasco/status/1627374277946384384) just happy jumps as the Master! it also funny that am dressed like 13 as like yes the one dressed as 13 is reacting just like how the actually actor is. And I don't know if you can see, it might just be because I know he is there, and this isn't the best picture for it. but I have a mini O doll on my tag. and if anyone have a video of Jodie doing the master's lines can you send it me please!, I couldn't enjoy it as I was there shaking. Also just how people stater to give her a hug at the end, I was just like oh yes me too. and just how when we were getting off the stage the host like 'were my hug?' and I joined Katie in teasing him. that was me in my truly in my happy silly mood.

When I was in the last line before I had to leave Gally. I was talking with someone and they mention how they saw the actors had the dolls on display and they had asked where they gotten them and they all just said someone came and give them the dolls. after hearing that I just felt a bit proud from. Over they had them on display and people were asking about them. it also made me happy I was able to get all the main ones, as at one point I thought I missed Janet and I was like noooo. And when I got to Gally and I given the first doll, I had the thought of "what if the actors talked among themselves and mentioned the dolls popping up" as I told Bonnie I just give one to Colin and I bet Frazer showed people.

Gally was just a very nice place. like we all know we are weird so why not we all be happy about it. like the first day I walked into a elevator with strangers and one was "good morning" and so we all said good morning back. Just how everyone gushed about each others costumes and props, feel to nice. and the ribbons were so nice I was worried about not having any to trade as this was my first time but some people just started handing them out. towards the end I was in another elevator and one person pulled some ribbons out and then another person did the same and then we all started trying to pass them all around before the doors close.

I think it great that the people who were in the classics still want to be apart of doctor who and come to these cons. as like think of all the people who just got into the classics, they wouldn't get to experience it. haha and you can tell my brain is stuck on classic, as I did a little quiz when I was there and one of the questions was list 5 male companion and I was just “Adric!” as you have to yell his name, and then my partner listed all the guys from new who.

I think if I go next year am definitely going to get ribbons and with my dolls I want to do more funny pictures with other people in costumes like I want to find someone dressed as the master and take a picture with a mini dolls or bring my tiny Dalek. I did get this picture and it a bit funny to me. also the idea that I was like "oh can I get a picture... with my dolls?"

if I seem shy, just know I can be like this and I will talk your ear off if you let me.

For Gallifrey I made a 13 scarf, a 13 coat, I re bounded my river book, and made 12 big dolls and 3 mini dolls. and with classes I did a lot of it last minute/during winter break, I even leaned how to cable stitch for a little hat. I will post all the new ones soon, I just need to type up posts. I also have more pictures from Gally I just had to limit myself

[lorilane33]

FanExpo Dallas Write Up

So I went to FanExpo in Dallas yesterday 6-10-23, and it was one of the best days of my life! 🥺 I really went because I wanted to meet Jon Bernthal, and he happened to be within a car drive of me. But Gabriel Luna reminded me why I fell in love with him in the first place when he played Robbie Reyes in Agents of SHIELD, and I’m so glad I followed my gut and met him too. Oof. My heart 😩💜

Random cute guy in line with me named Jacob and I bonded over the Punisher while we were waiting in line to meet Jon. I feel like we were getting along fabulously. As we got to the table to pay for our stuff, I pulled out my photo op with Charlie and Jon to put my sticky note with my name on it. Jacob saw it and leaned into to me, telling me “I think that’s a really good photo. Not to pry or anything, but it’s really cool.” I then explained to him why I did it and he immediately turned back around to me and said, “well your parents are idiots if they can’t be proud of every part of you. And that was a brave thing to do.” 😩 you guys he was so sweet.

Jon Bernthal

I’m 100% positive Jon Bernthal is the first actor I’ve met to make my brain stop working almost completely. I was absolutely on the verge of crying to the point of me grimacing in the photo, but I walked up to him with my bi pride flag and explained to him that my parents will never be proud of this part of my life. I want to make a statement with people who are proud of me. He made sure to double check with me that it was right side up because he wanted to do it right, however we all see how well that went over because my own pride flag was upside down 🤣🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ We then turn to the camera and take it, and as he’s handing me my flag back he looks me very earnestly in the eyes and said, “well I am proud of you, sweetheart.” I swear I was fine until that very moment. He’s an intimidating man, and it was hard for me to look him in the eyes for very long. He absolutely murdered me.

I had a duo photo op with him and Charlie as well, and because I looked so not happy in the first one, and my flag was upside down, I decided to redo it with them. I walked up to Charlie and even though this was the first time I was seeing him I said, “I almost cried in my last photo so I want to fix it.” He gladly took the the corner of the flag from me, and I stood between them with Jon on my other side holding it again. Jon looked at me and smiled and said “thank you,” and Charlie gave me a very genuine smile and said, “thanks for being here,” as he handed me my flag back. It turned out so well and I’m so glad I redid it. 🥺 Charlie looks like such a goober and I love it 😂

I’m also so happy the handlers and Jon decided to let us get in line for his autos after his afternoon of photo ops at 6. They had ticketed people who were cut off when he had to leave for his panel that they had to honor first, and they originally were only going to do those and no more because everything shut down at 7. But there weren’t really that many people waiting to be in line behind them so they decided to let us in. We had a short convo and I thanked him for everything, and then he signed my photo op with him and Charlie. I walked away and that was that. I couldn’t have asked for a better interaction with him. Frank has come to mean so much to me, and I’m so happy the man portraying him is just as great. 💜

Gabriel Luna

He was so chill at his table, he was out in the line talking to the people waiting, and he took someone's FaceTime call. I had a chance to talk to him about how Nic Cage may have introduced the character of Ghost Rider to me as a kid, but his portrayal of Robbie Reyes cemented my love of Ghost Rider, and we ended up having a really good conversation about him. 🥺 then I mentioned that him in the Last of Us brought him back to me started him on a whole new discussion about that show and how hard we both think it is to like the second part of the video game 😆 we took some selfies, and during it he told me I had really great hair, but then corrected himself and said, “Oh wait. We both have really great hair.” I hugged him and said I had to go get in line for his photo op but I’d see him over there. He said "okay, and seriously your hair is great!" as I walked away.

His face lit up when he saw I was next in the line for a photo op, and when I got up to him he grabbed my left hand like we were dancing to pull my arm out so he could look at the tattoo that was there (it says ‘you are not alone, and is signed my another actor I met in 2018) 🥰 he said that’s really good advice to yourself, and then we faced the camera. I accidentally blinked when we did our first photo, so I got pulled out of the exiting line to go back and redo it. I’m honestly okay with that because as great as it was holding his hand i think it would have looked odd lol I walked back into the booth he was in and his back was to me, talking to the other people in the room. Once he realized I’d walked in he turned to me and smugly said “Oh! So you’re my blinker 😏” he was happy it was me! I immediately replied, “yeah. I swear I didn’t do it on purpose though,” and the whole room laughed 😆 so he pulled me in for another pic, and after he was done he gave me a really big hug, took my hands and looked very earnestly into my eyes when he told me “but for real, your hair is fantastic and you need to know that.” I said “you too, thank you again for everything.” We said goodbyes and I left. 🥰

I can’t say enough good things about Gabriel. Holy shit. He’s so kind and generous with his time, and cares about all of us so much!

[eclipse-song]

I can't stop thinking about a tweet I saw a few days ago commenting on some completely unsourced comment on the Rider wiki. It was trying to say Kobayashi hated showa rider and coming up with a whole conspiracy theory on hating Inoue because his dad wrote a lot of Showa rider and this made him not like her. It was all pretty ridiculous and a lot of people were laughing at it as they rightfully should. But...idk it got me thinking about how toku fans especially have a tendency to form a lot of strong personalities and ideas about these writers that we quite frankly....don't know much about personally. Especially when many people are basing these ideas off of their writing, which I know from my work, it's broadcasters and producers who have a lot more say on story direction. Depending on the production, the writer is sometimes even working until they create something they dislike but pleases the client.

Kobayashi has very few interviews to be found but most of them indicate she has no problem working with certain people, and honestly it would be fairly unprofessional to outwardly state that she did in the middle of an interview. She's even expressed how she and Inoue have quite similar writing processes in one that I did happen to read.

and for Inoue...I feel like I maybe just have this very glass half full mentality or at least a tendency to assume the best of people but....I get confused by how a lot of people in toku fandom talk about Inoue. Like the guy isn't without fault but also I see people talk about him like he is malicious and intentionally seeking to harm people when everything I've read about him is that staff and coworkers of all ages have had extremely good experiences with him. He's old and in his 60s and can put his foot in his mouth sometimes (like the rtr question in that one livestream he did say he thought it was a bit ridiculous to have two Kam riders having gay sex) but also in that same answer he said he wanted to do something he wouldn't be allowed to show on TV which is equally true. He also in other places has said a major reason was simply that he thinks Tezuka's actor is a good looking man. There's also the fact he's been writing queer storylines in shows since the 80s (dirty pair trans episode is legit a banger episode) and in the zio vs decade stuff he has Heure and Ora have a meaningful conversation about how it's perfectly fine to be a boy who likes other boys. IDK! I think those aren't really the actions of a person who is actively looking to harm people, it reads a lot more to me as a 60 year old man who is making some genuine attempts at shaking things up and is just sort of missing the mark in places. Him being a 60 year old cis dude is also where I just go “yeah that’s why he writes a lot of women like that” though he does have some stand out characters as well who can be excellent. He reminds me of a lot of my old uncles who are ultimately well meaning but just say shit sometimes. Along with the fact he said he's attracted to people regardless of gender I don't see him really as some huge big bad villain who's "queer baiting" or any of that nonsense.

Ultimately this is a conversation that happens at my workplace a lot these days too which is why it makes me feel some type of way. Directors and story artists and writers I've met who have been painted as not so nice turn out to be lovely people who've had their actions misconstrued. Then I've met people who I've been rather excited to work with and ended up severely disappointed in their behavior. I just can't help but feel it's really strange to have tons of focus on writers who we mostly know through their work that they're paid to do according to how some client wants it. I've definitely been guilty of this in the past but formulating personalities of strangers we don't know, especially when painting them in a wholly bad light, is just sort of uncomfortable to me.

[jujumin-translates]

Event | the Rad Red | Chapter 8

*Clapping*

Rento: Banger job!

Banri: That was a nice finishing touch.

Juza: This should be no problem for the real thing.

Azami: Yeah.

Taichi: Even though our rehearsals are good, I’m sure I’m still gonna be nervous once the audience gets here…

*Door opens*

Director: Pardon us.

Omi: Good work.

Sakyo: Already done with rehearsals?

Rento: You’re a second too late. You’ll have to wait until the show to hear the performance.

Director: Tsuzuru-kun said he wanted to use the performance as reference for the script, so he’ll be here for the show.

Rento: RadRe is some top-tier stuff, so I’m sure he’ll be able to use it for all it’s worth.

Juza: RadRe stands for…Rad Red, right?

Director: Taichi-kun, you’re the one who decided on the name for the band. Is there a reason for it?

Taichi: I took “Rad Red” from “Radical Red” which means like, “intense red”!

Taichi: I originally got the idea from my trademark red hair.

Taichi: I’ve been thinking about for a while now how long I can keep this red hair, and how if I stop having my red hair, I’ll give up something that’s important to me and become an adult…

Taichi: I kept thinking about it, and I realized that I have no clue what the future holds, but I know I don’t want to let go of my red, which is what’s important to me no~w.

Taichi: I’ve come to believe that I’m gonna wanna keep dying my hair bright red, no matter how old I get.

Taichi: I also thought that maybe it’s possible to become an adult by letting go of something, but…

Taichi: Since we’ve met, all of the older members have always been proud to say, “I don’t want to lose on stage”.

Taichi: That’s why I’m also holding onto my favorite color that I found during my teenage years within some da~rk memories!

Director: Not wanting to change the parts of you that are important to you… The lyrics and the band’s name are filled with that wish.

Omi: It’s a great name.

Taichi: Ehehe, I know I put a lot of my personal feelings into this, but…

Juza: It’s your song, Taichi, so you were free to put whatever you wanted into it.

Omi: I’m glad you were able to put that into words into something that can be left behind.

Azami: That reminds me, the other day Taichi-san said that the person he associates with being an adult the most is Shitty Sakyo…

Azami: And to think he’s the one who’s still dyeing his hair blond at this age.

Sakyo: Hah?

Taichi: Ahaha! So how long are you going to be keeping your hair blond, Sakyo-nii?

Sakyo: Haah… Fine, I’ll be a blond, old man until the day I die.

Taichi: Yeah! Then I’ll have my red hair even when I’m an old man too!

Taichi: I knew you were always the “adult” I wanted to be, Sakyo-nii!

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Sakyo: …Almost time.

Director: Tsuzuru-kun isn’t here yet, so I hope he’s okay…

Audience Member A: I wonder if Banri-kun and the others will be doing more music-related stuff in the future.

Audience Member B: Seems like it’s only a one-time thing.

Audience Member A: Maybe it’s advertising for the next play~.

Omi: Looks like some Autumn Troupe fans came here too.

Director: Hopefully this will put Taichi-kun at ease more.

*Door opens*

Tsuzuru: Just in time!

Manager: Barely made it~!

Director: Ah, I’m glad you did!

Tsuzuru: Haah, haah… The train… Was a little late and I was wondering if we’d even make it in time…

Omi: Are you okay? Do you need to get a drink?

Tsuzuru: Ah, I got a drink ticket but… How do I use it?

Manager: This kinda system takes some getting used to~.

Director: --Ah, here they come.

Taichi: Hya! Now I’m nervous because there’s so many audience members!

Omi: He seems surprisingly relaxed.

Banri: Taichi, thought you were gonna introduce us.

Taichi: Ah! We’re the Rad Red!

Taichi: Usually, we’re theater actors, so we’ll be playing one song as the opening act and then getting off stage right after, but…

Taichi: We’ve been practicing this song with all our hearts and souls so, please enjoy!

Azami: Hope you enjoy it.

Juza: Yea.

Taichi: The song is an original composition, composed by Ban-chan, who’s standing next to me, arranged by the manager of our theater troupe, and with lyrics written by me for the first time in my life.

Taichi: The reason I wrote this song was to leave something big behind in my last year of being a teenager…

Taichi: I wrote this song in the hopes that when I listen to it as an adult, I’ll be able to vividly remember who I am now.

Taichi: I looked back on my teenage years, when I went through a lot of tough times, did a lot of things I shouldn’t have, and lost myself in tons of different ways to be able to write the lyrics.

Taichi: But even so, I put all my thoughts about the incredible bond with my friends and my identity into this so I don’t lose sight of them anymore!

Taichi: I wanna sing with Ban-chan, who is next to me right now. He’s one of my greatest supporters and my friend and also both the leader and rival of Autumn Troupe.

Taichi: So listen up! This is “Dawn of the Red”...!

*Dawn of the Red stars playing*

Director: !!

Director: (Wow, the sound is resonating through my whole body. I didn’t know live house music could sound like this.)

Director: (It’s like the power of a storm hitting a punching bag… This is what Autumn Troupe is all about…!)

Sakyo: It ain’t a bad song.

Omi: …I agree.

Tsuzuru: …

Manager: Yeah!

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

*Applause*

Taichi --.

Taichi: Thank you so much!

Taichi: We’re also performing during our play on Veludo Way, so definitely come to see it!

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

*Door opens*

Taichi: We’re back~!

Banri: ‘Sup.

Director: Welcome back. Did you have fun with the opening?

Taichi: It was super fun! Everyone loved the song!

Banri: There were people from the music industry and whatnot, and it was interesting to hear what they had to say.

Juza: The atmosphere was a lil’ different from the usual company-related openings.

Azami: Yeah, didn’t seem like it was ending anytime soon, so we just decided to head back.

Director: Good job, everyone.

Tsuzuru: Taichi, can I talk to you for a sec?

Taichi: ?

Tsuzuru: When I was watching you perform today, I got an idea for the Autumn Troupe script.

Tsuzuru: I wanna write a story about a band called “Rad Red” with that song at the end of it.

Taichi: Eh!?

Tsuzuru: I don’t want it to be just a success story, I want it to be a bitter coming-of-age story like what I felt from the song today.

Taichi: Uwaah, really!? That’s crazy that a script can be written from just a song…!

Tsuzuru: If you have any other requests, lemme know.

Taichi: Any other…? Hmm, well…

Taichi: I want the main character to be a guy who yearns for an intense red, but thinks it doesn’t suit him.

Taichi: I want it to be a story where he can finally sing that song with confidence at the end.

Tsuzuru: …Got it.

Tsuzuru: I feel like I’ve got the whole plot of the story figured out all at once. I’ll definitely make sure the story will be an important one for you, Taichi.

Taichi: Thank you so much!

[ ⇠ Previous Part ] • [ Next Part ⇢ ]

[superghfan]

Drew Cheetwood Returns to GENERAL HOSPITAL for a “Tough” Episode

Despite Feb. 14 being Valentine’s Day, it was a sad day to be working on the set of GENERAL HOSPITAL: It was the day that the cast taped a tribute to Sonya Eddy (Epiphany), their beloved co-star who unexpectedly passed away in December. In a heartfelt post shared on Instagram and Facebook, Drew Cheetwood revealed that he was invited back to GH to reprise his role of Milo Giambetti for the special episode — and he wouldn’t have missed it for anything in the world.

“Almost 20 years ago, I taped my first episode of GH. I was almost 20 and now I’m almost 40,” he began the lengthy post, going on to share all of the great blessings the soap has given him, like sharing the screen with his real-life brother, Derk Cheetwood (ex-Max). “After filming yesterday, it really hit me how grateful I am for all the [opportunities] this show has afforded me. I worked with my real-life brother playing brothers on the show for 10+ years. I’ve worked with actors on the show I only dreamed of when I was a kid just dreaming in Ohio. I got to see such craftsmanship and professionalism behind the scenes… production, writing, camera, casting, props, and the list goes on. It molded everything I do to market homes in real estate today. This show is literally how I met my wife and now why we have our three beautiful girls. It doesn’t get any bigger than that for me.”

Unfortunately, Cheetwood’s return to the set wasn’t a happy occasion as the actor-turned-realtor was mourning a real-life friend. “Yesterday’s episode was a tough one to film,” he confessed. “Sonya Eddy lit this world up with an incredible light. She was so many beautiful things to so many people. We’ll miss her greatly. Yesterday, I was asked to help pay tribute to that light. After all the show has given me, it was such an honor to give back in this way.”

His bittersweet return to Port Charles also served as a reminder to Cheetwood of how “fragile” life is. “And man, it is moving pretty quick,” he marveled. “That’s not to stress, though. Just means we need to hold the people we love and care about closer. Pick up the phone and make that call. Get to it today. Make amends where you can. Pray. Often. I’m saying so much of this to myself too… just so you know. May we try and fill more people with love, laughter, and light… the same as Sonya did for me and so many others.”

x

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

i have so many things to post about, and many photos to share--including cat stories! and my new rapid-bruising superpower--but i’ve been trying to spend almost no time doing ‘fun’ things while i’m struggling so hard to focus on ‘work’ things. 

about a week ago, i finally gave up on that strategy, since it hasn’t been working, and i switched to aiming for acceptance about my limitations (rather than hoping i can overcome them with caffeine, or not sleeping, or self-shaming). @actuallylukedanes was a huge part of that, just by being my best friend and loving me as much as they do. it’s harder to believe you’re a terrible person when the person who knows you best disagrees. anyway, i’ve been feeling better this last week after letting go of that self-inflicted stress.

so tonight i’m going to a local ‘yarning’ group at the library for the first time, where they plan to make a knitted/crocheted vegetable garden to display there. little yarn vegetables! it sounds so fun. i’m nervous because New People, but it helps that i went to a group like once when i lived in utah, and i suspect the people i’ll find here are likely to be similar to the ones i met then--mostly older women who are genuinely friendly.

i enjoy my online social life and i don’t actually want to stay in our current city, so i don’t feel a driving need to make local friends. but my general leaving-the-house skills AND in-person stranger skills atrophied during the pandemic, and i’ve always been someone who actually enjoys those brief stranger interactions that come from shopping or appointments or public transit, so it is important to me to get those skills back (and go back to getting fresh air). 

thus tonight’s meeting, and my movie pass, which will be taking me to see m3gan on wednesday. last month i read two op-eds that felt as though they were trying to send me a message: one was about how movie trailers don’t represent things accurately, so people should just see movies for their own reasons and not bother with trailers. when i read that, i sort of agreed, because i once saw a movie with a comedic trailer that turned out to be a thriller. and THEN right after reading the op-ed, i saw a man called otto and agreed even more.because  while the trailer did show vaguely what the movie is about, it also left out a central storyline that i wish i had been prepared for going in. (maybe i’m just really dense and it was implied in the trailer? but i didn’t catch it.)

and the other op-ed was encouraging people to watch more movies outside their comfort zones. i no longer remember what the argument for that was, but it did remind me that my viewing habits have narrowed a lot over the years. i used to watch just about anything when i was younger, in terms of giving movies and tv a chance--i followed actors i liked more than caring about genre. and starting to watch more theater movies has reminded me of that as well, because i see more trailers and that can mean i become aware of movies that otherwise i would probably not even hear about. 

there was a trailer for a new creed film, for example, and i’ve never seen any movies in that series, so if i hadn’t seen the trailer i doubt i would have known or cared. but it stars michael b. jordan, who i adore thanks to his work in the black panther movies (i will always melt for truly good antagonists) and jonathan majors! (who had such heartbreaking range and power in lovecraft country i will follow him anywhere) and tessa thompson, which just makes it, like, a cast too good to be true. and my immediate thought as the trailer played was, ‘well, but it’s a boxing movie.’ and then i remembered, i watched a boxing movie! i saw the one with meg ryan, because at one point i tried to watch every meg ryan movie. so why wouldn’t i do the same for another boxing movie with a cast i love? i didn’t used to reject movies categorically the way i do now.

and then on top of all that, my favorite movie podcast (you are good) discusses all kinds of movies. but both the hosts are huge fans of horror movies, classic and current, and that means they discuss them a ton even when they’re not covering them officially on the episodes. i have never been a huge horror fan, so i’ve had fun listening to their episodes about old ones that i haven’t actually seen and don’t want to. (friday the 13th, halloween, texas chainsaw massacre.) and the frequent exposure to horror movies in a nice vicarious way...has made me kind of want to become the sort of person who does watch horror movies. at least sometimes, to see what i think. 

i saw the whitney houston biopic with kayla at the theater, and one of the trailers they played with it was for m3gan, and kayla was so horrified--she just started shouting ‘no’ at the screen at increasing volume, lol. but i think it looks kind of awful in a fun way, (the trailer gave me such pretty little liars vibes somehow) and once i realized that the lead actress was also from get out, i decided to make it my first ‘who knows if i’ll hate this’ movie day. (i want to see missing next, i feel similarly about that one.)

anyway, i’m actually letting myself have fun plans this week, and i’ll just have to balance work and appts and fun going forward. i bought a really pretty planner that will make figuring all that out more fun...and on top of the rest of it, i now have a therapist whose first focus is on how important sleep is to her with every client, so now i’m struggling to live on a sleep schedule--which isn’t something i even had as a kid! so it’s a work in progress. but aren’t we all? hopefully soon i’ll start catching up more here. i miss you guys. <3

[cosmicwavelength]

.

[buckydaisy]

cast parties

pairing: sebastian stan x reader

request: “I would also like to make a request for Sebastian Stan x reader. The reader and the Marvel cast are all sitting together talking and the reader is playing with Seb's hair and he falls asleep because he was up filming a scene late last night. Mackie and Evans notices and teases them” - @bbl32

word count: 1.3k

“We don’t have to go in if you don’t want to. We could go home and order some takeout.” Sebastian suggested, letting his hand inch up your thigh. You instantly shook your head. “You told your friends we would come to this party.” You reminded him.

He groaned, placing a kiss on your cheek. “I just got back from filming for three months, and I want to spend time with you. Just you.” He said, pouting.

“We have all day tomorrow to spend time together. Besides, I’ll be by your side all night.” You assured him.

Whenever he came back from filming, he became the clingiest man alive. All he wanted to do was wrap you up in his arms. His love language was definitely physical touch. You loved that about him. You loved watching your giant muscular boyfriend turn into a cuddly teddy bear.

He finally agreed to go inside, but you still almost had to drag him to the door. As you opened the door, your ears were overwhelmed by all the people that were talking to each other.

Robert had organized a party with most of the marvel cast, which by now was a lot of actors.

Sebastian’s fingers naturally interlaced with yours as he walked further into the house. You followed behind, weaving through the crowd of people.

He recognized Chris and Anthony and made a beeline for them. “Hey, there they are!” Chris said, turning to face you both. They gave you both hugs with big smiles on their faces.

As soon as you pulled away from them, Sebastian wrapped his arms around your waist and rested his head on your shoulder. “Didn’t you just get home from filming?” Anthony asked, shocked that you both showed up to the party.

He nodded his head, still clinging to you. “I landed this afternoon. I was home for maybe an hour before we drove here.” He explained.

Chris chuckled to himself. “So that explains the clinginess.” He joked, earning a laugh from you. You nodded your head, still giggling at the joke.

Chris was one of your close friends, and you may have mentioned how affectionate Sebastian gets when he comes home from filming.

“I’m going to get a drink. I’ll be right back.” You said, pressing a light kiss to Sebastian’s cheek. He nodded before returning his attention to Anthony and Chris.

You skillfully weaved back through the crowd until you got to the kitchen. “Oh my god, you’re here!” You heard someone exclaim. As you turned around to see who it was, you felt Lizzie pull you into a hug. “I can’t believe you made it. We all assumed you and Sebastian would have been at home asleep on the couch.” She said, giggling.

You felt a small smile slip onto your cheeks as you remembered Sebastian suggesting that exact idea. “I was able to convince him to come somehow. It had been too long since we had seen everybody. We might end up leaving early, he’s exhausted from his flight.” You said, as you poured your drink.

“Speak of the devil.” Lizzie said, laughing to herself. You turned around to see what she meant. You were face to face with Sebastian. “I missed you.” He whined, pulling you close and burying his head in your neck. You instantly noticed the giant smirk on Lizzie’s face as she watched him turn into a man-child.

“I was only gone for maybe five minutes. Go hang out with the guys. Besides, I haven’t gotten to gossip about you with Lizzie yet.” You joked, pushing him towards the doorway. He pouted before walking back into the living room.

Lizzie’s smirk stayed plastered on her face. “You both are my favorite couple, it’s official.” She told you. You felt a wave of pride wash over you. It always made you beam when people told you that yours and Sebastian’s relationship was adorable.

“So what’s new?” You asked her, taking a sip of your drink.

By the end of the night, there was barely anyone left at the party. The few of you that were left standing were gathered in the living room. There was Robert, Evans, Hemsworth, Lizzie, Anthony, Bettany, Zoe, Hiddleston, Sebastian, and you.

You had chosen a seat on the couch, and Sebastian was sitting in front of you on the floor.

He was only half listening to the conversation. The only thing he could think about was how he would get to cuddle with you when he got home. He had missed your touch, but his lack of sleep was starting to catch up to him.

He glanced back at you to be met by your gentle smile. He leaned over, resting his head on your thighs. Naturally, your fingers found your way to his hair.

It wasn’t uncommon for you to run your fingers through his hair. Actually, you did it all the time. So, you should’ve known that it would put him right to sleep.

You ran your fingers through the brown locks. His hair was longer than the last time you saw him last. It was still just as soft though. Your nails scratched against his scalp, relaxing him just enough.

You happened to glance down and you realized his eyes had fluttered closed. He was peacefully asleep. A smile crept onto your face as you admired him. You continued to run your fingers through his hair, while half listening to the conversation.

Hemsworth was telling some funny story about something his kid had said, but no matter how hard you tried, your sleeping boyfriend still stole your attention.

“It’s past somebody’s bed time.” Evans teased, being the first to notice. Everyone followed his gaze and saw Sebastian dead asleep. “It’s cause somebody keeps him up late.” Anthony said, sending a wink straight your way.

The joke earned a few laughs from the gang. “Oh shush, he’s just tired. He’s had a long day.” You said. You could hear his soft breaths in and out.

“How is it that he’s asleep and still as close to you as possible?” Anthony asked, not passing any opportunity to tease you and Sebastian. You brushed his hair out of his face, loving the way his hair felt between your fingers. “I think it’s adorable.” Lizzie said, watching the sweet gesture.

Sebastian stirred under your touch. “What’s going on?” He asked, realizing everyone was staring at him. Before you could dismiss it, Chris took the opportunity to tease him. “Somebody fell asleep because it’s past their bed time.” He said, in a baby voice.

Sebastian realized what was happening and rolled his eyes. “Ha ha ha,” he pretended to laugh at the joke. You giggled to yourself as you watched. “Question for you: do you always fall asleep when she runs her fingers through your hair?” Anthony asked, continuing the teasing.

You stood up, grabbing his hands. “Come on. I think we should get going, considering you’re so tired.” You said, pulling Sebastian to his feet.

“You both are adorable. Don’t listen to them.” Lizzie said giggling. You wrapped you arm around his side, guiding him towards the door. “Goodnight everybody. We’ll see you soon.” You said, leaning into Sebastian’s side.

Once you both got into the car, he pulled in for a kiss. “Hi there.” You mumbled, smiling at him. He pressed another quick kiss to your lips. “I’ve really missed you.” He said, softly.

After all the time apart, it was nice to just be able to sit together. There was no place you would rather be than in Sebastian’s arms.

“Then, let’s go home and get to bed.” You said, giving him one last kiss. He pulled out of the driveway, one hand in yours. “I love you.” He said, leaning over to kiss your cheek.

“I love you too.” You said, happy he was finally back home with you.

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Requests OPEN

[yourtamaki]

the broken melody of us

matsukawa x f!reader

word count: 4k

request: mattsun hurt/comfort + neglect?

warnings: hurt/comfort, neglect, body worship, praise kink, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, creampie, cockwarming

it was a song and dance at this point. a well rehearsed play with a blinding spotlight on the exhausted actors onstage. both of you go through the motions, no life behind the words you’ve spoken so many times they held no meaning anymore. you don’t know why you keep up the charade. you never expect a different result yet still you pick up the phone everyday and call your boyfriend. 

“you think you’ll be home in time for dinner?” 

sometimes you get a different, automated message. “maybe. might have to stay late,” or “can’t, i’ve gotta finish something up,” or your least favourite. a simple, clipped, “no.” 

“don’t stay out too late.” you should cut this part from the script, he never listens. 

“i’ll try.” 

“i love you.” this line is always to be spoken quietly, followed by holding your breath while you wait for his response. it’s the only reason you make these calls. this is your only chance to hear him say it and pretend he means it as much as he once did.

“love you too.” the line goes dead, the lights dim and he’s gone. you’re alone on an empty stage staring out at a bored audience. bored of the foolish protagonist who keeps them locked in the theatre, playing the same ending over and over and expecting something to give, to change. they watch on, silent and judging while you barter away what little dignity you have left. 

let them watch. 

the rejection doesn’t sting as badly as it used to. you’ve learned to bear it, swallow down the hurt that sits like a stone in your gut and go about your day, filling it with any meaningless errand that would stop your mind from wandering back to him. 

mattsun was subtle, you could give him that much. the way he slowly pulled away from your arms until you could hardly remember how he felt beneath your palms. the realization that you don’t really know your boyfriend anymore was slow to hit you but it knocked the air out of your lungs when it did. it crashed down on you when you woke in the middle of the night and turned to stare at his back gently rising and falling with every breath. his hair is longer then you remember and you don’t know why the thought has a lump forming in your throat. you focus instead on the broad expanse of his back. he’s tense, even in sleep, shoulders rigid and you’re sure if you could see his face, his brows would be furrowed. subtle changes that are enough for you to realize you’ve been shut out of his life.

you used to know him. when you were university kids who thought the future would never catch up to them and spent countless days in each other’s company. it wasn’t so much you knew him, it felt like you were him. and he was you. less attached to the hip and more intertwined with one another. you two were of one mind, to the point where you knew what the other needed before they’d even say it. 

your mattsun who was always just a text away. 

your mattsun who would indulge your late night drives, who would look at you with a permanent crooked smile on his face and love in his eyes. 

“you think we’ll always be like this?” you said one night, straddling him in panties and a baggy hoodie in the backseat and lazily kissing beneath the stars. and because he was yours and understood every little anxious thought that crossed your mind, he didn’t question why you were asking, didn’t make you explain what you meant, didn’t try to make a half assed joke about it. 

his hands trailed up your sides as he contemplated his answer, sending shivers up your spine. “probably not. things always change. we’ll change with them.” 

“what if things get worse?” 

“they might. but what if they get better? just cause it’s different doesn’t mean it's scary, angel.” 

“i know. but i hate thinking about it cause things are so good right now. i want it to last forever.” 

“we got time. let’s make the most of it, yeah?” he gripped your hips, slowly grinding you against his growing bulge and pulling you back into a kiss, sighing as your lips slotted together. you took control of the pace and grinned against him when a groan spilled into your mouth. 

“is that your way of saying we should hurry up and fuck?” 

“it’s working, isn’t it?” before you could pull your sweater up over your head, he cupped your face and brought your forehead to his, sincerity shining through his dark eyes. “i’ll always love you. that’ll never change. got it?”

“got it.” you managed to push the words out despite the lump that formed in your throat. he kept his eyes locked on yours as he slid your panties to the side and sank inside you, the familiar stretch a welcome one. 

it was nothing special, one night of many spent panting into each other’s mouths with an unspoken promise still hanging from your lips. but it was a memory you circled back to often, so often you could hear the echo of his vow ring through your head. 

your fears came to pass not long after that. life caught up and tore him from you, leaving you a shattered mess in the aftermath. you tried to fit jagged pieces of yourself back together in an attempt to remake the person you used to be but what stared back at you only left you keenly aware of the empty space he used to reside. 

these days, you like going to the roof of your apartment and letting the wind blow through those countless gaps in your soul. you feel whole for a short while as it whistles through you, the air filled with the broken melody of you, of the relationship that slips past your grasp more everyday. it’s shrill and ear piercing and leaves goosebumps littered on your skin. 

you can’t stop listening to it. 

it’s where you were now, staring out as the sun dipped below the horizon and listening to the haunting sound that’s been your only company in recent memory. later, you’ll go home and crawl into bed desperate for any warmth and no time to miss the heat of a body next to yours. your phone lights up bright in contrast to the darkening sky and it takes you a few moments of staring blankly at the screen for it to sink in that mattsun is trying to call you. 

this isn’t part of the script. 

you don’t know your lines. 

and yet you find yourself answering anyway, hitting the green button before the call drops and you raise your phone to your ear silently. 

“are you okay?” his voice comes out rushed and strung together almost before your phone is pressed to your ear. 

“why’re you asking?” 

“remember that time you failed that essay? i think it was third year and you hid in your room all day and wouldn’t answer the phone?” you did remember. how you couldn’t bear to face the world that day with the crushing weight of failure hanging over you and how shocked you were to see mattsun standing at the front door. “did i ever tell you why i checked up on you?” 

“no.” 

“the whole day i felt, in my gut, like i needed to see you. i can’t describe it, it was like a stab that just dug deeper until i went to your place. would you believe me if i said i have that feeling right now?” 

“i- i would.” you say quietly, wondering if he could even hear you over the roar of the wind. 

“are you okay?” he repeats. there’s a weight behind his words that has tears springing to your eyes. 

“no, issei ‘m not.” 

“i’m almost home, i’m parking right now. i’ll be up in a few minutes, okay? wait for me, angel.” 

you were always waiting for him, weren’t you? what's a couple more minutes? you hang up and try in vain push down the wave of anxiousness that hits you. it’s just mattsun, you try to remind yourself. even if it’s been awhile since you’ve really felt like a part of his life, he’s still the person you fell in love with. right?

even if the issei from the past would never have made you feel so alone. the issei that was free from the hardships of real life, of 9-5s and bills due and rent to pay. you miss that issei, mourn for him on empty rooftops everyday. maybe he’s still alive somewhere within this new issei but it’s not like you would know. 

you head off the roof, shivering slightly as you make your way home. the days were only getting colder, you should’ve known not to stay out for so long. you were trying to get your shaky hands to cooperate and unlock the door when you hear the elevator dings open and your name being called out. 

“you weren’t home?” he asks, gently prying your keys from your grasp and opening the door for you both. as soon as he locks it behind you, his hands are covering yours once more. “baby you’re freezing.” 

words. where were your words? you couldn’t call up any as he brought your joined hands to his mouth, blowing hot air on them and rubbing them between his to warm them up. this is the closest you’ve been to him in who knows how long and you couldn’t summon up a single sentence. it’s not your fault. his attention has always stunned you into silence. 

he thought you were painfully shy the first time you met and though that was half true, you mostly found yourself silently panicking about the handsome man that suddenly sat beside you. the professor had paired the class off to discuss the readings for that lecture and your interest had only come to life when you saw the dark haired man make his way to you. 

“i’m gonna be honest.” he said as he plopped down beside you and showed you the blank document open on his laptop. “i have no idea what we’re supposed to be doing right now. do you?” 

it was his eyes, you decided much later, hugging your pillow and staring at the text you just received from a new number. you came alive under his gaze like you could finally catch your breath, everything dull until his eyes landed on you. you don’t believe in love at first sight, this was something different. it was the dust of collapsing stars finding each other once more. it was strings of fate being braided together. it was more profound, more important than love and it all happened in a moment. 

you nodded in response to his earlier question though it was clear neither of you were paying any attention to what was going on in class, too caught up in the small bubble that surrounded you and drowned out the rest of the world. 

“matsukawa. i’m- my name’s matsukawa.” you must’ve given your name in return judging by the smile he gave you in return. “so what’re we doing, partner?”

this time, you forced a proper response, intensely aware of how you held yourself in a way you’ve never been before. “yeah, she just wants us to talk about today’s reading.” 

matsukawa watched you pull up your notes, resting his head in his hand while you began explaining the general concepts. you paused when you noticed he was still looking at you and not at the notes you had angled towards him. 

“am i explaining it okay?” 

“we’re a month into the semester, how have i not noticed you before?” 

“guess you don’t notice something you’re not looking for.” 

just then the professor grabbed everyone’s attention, the student’s quietly migrating back to their seats but matsukawa stayed where he was. instead, you could just hear him speak under his breath, more to himself then to you but you still managed to pick it up, your face going hot as it echoed in your head. “trust me, i’m looking now.” 

the memory leaves you more vulnerable than you expected, soft in his arms as the numbness finally fades and the shaking stops.

“where were you?” he says.

“the roof.” his brows furrow, lips pulled down in a frown. it’s strange feeling yourself falling back into reading him so easily, not needing him to ask to know he wanted you to explain why. “i like going up there. this place is too quiet with just me in it.” 

the longer you watch him, the more you pick up from his body language. the confusion then understanding that flits across his face, the underlying care you’re so familiar with as he smooths his thumb over the back of your hand. but more than anything you start to see his guilt. his muscles are rigid with it, it swims in his eyes that never quite seem to meet yours. 

“i’ve fucked up, haven't i?” he finally says when he realizes you won’t be the one to breach the subject. 

“issei…”

“no, i have. things have been so endless, i feel like i’m half awake and i’ve hurt you because of it.” 

you squeeze his hands, trying to reassure him. “just talk to me. please.” 

“i hate it. work is nonstop, everyday is the same shit over and over. it’s just a wave that keeps knocking me down and i can barely get my footing before it pushes me down again. and every day i think about quitting just to get ready the next morning. 

“if i was alone, if… if i didn’t have you i would’ve quit so long ago but i want to give you the life you deserve and i can’t do that if i’m broke. and it all might be for nothing cause i might’ve lost you already.” 

the confession ends with mattsun clearing his throat, blinking fast and concentrating solely on your laced hands. you can’t seem to catch your breath, struggling under the weight he had carried silently until now as he finally shares the burden with you. 

“you haven’t lost me, issei. look at me.” you wait until his eyes meet yours before dropping your voice to a whisper. “you haven’t lost me.”

“i don’t deserve you.” 

“it’s not about deserving, i chose you. i chose to love you, i chose to stay when things got bad. yeah, you hurt me.” it’s impossible to miss the full body flinch at your words, “and i’m not ready to forgive you just yet. but that doesn’t mean i’m giving up on us. i don’t want you working yourself to death for me. i don’t care where we live or how much money you spend on me. i don’t need all of that, i just need you. got it?” 

“got it.” you see his adam’s apple bob as he swallows down whatever feeling overcomes him, “i’m sorry.”

“i know.”

“tell me what you need, please. i need- i need to make this right.” 

you answer by leaning forward and mattsun meets you halfway. the kiss is soft in contrast to the way you bundle the front of his shirt in your fists, afraid the moment might end before it’s even begun but mattsun takes his time cherishing you. there’s regret and gratitude and love that dances across your tongue and the taste has pressure building behind your eyes. 

it isn’t enough. you need him closer, need him to line the cracks of your soul with his touch. you pull just far back enough to break the kiss and mumble against his lips, “more, ‘sei please. i’m so cold.” 

“anything you want, pretty baby. let me make you feel good, yeah?” 

his lips crash back down on yours with renewed eagerness. there’s a desperation that wasn’t there a moment ago fuelling you both and urging you to stumble blind into the bedroom, barely letting your mouths detach as you fumble and undress each other. 

it’s not until you’re naked before him that your head clears a bit and shyness comes creeping in. he cups your face as though he could sense you curling into yourself and simply says, “beautiful.” 

the utter conviction in his voice is enough to dispel any insecurities before they have a chance to latch on and you turn your head to kiss the center of his palm, silently telling him you were all right. together you land in a tangled heap in bed, his half hard cock resting on your thigh. mattsun kisses his way down your neck, licking and sucking at every sensitive spot he had mapped out over the years. 

“issei…” you say, impatience tinging your voice as you feel your core throb with need. 

“i’ll get you there, angel, you know i will. let me take my time, i missed you.” 

true to his word, he began kissing every inch of skin he could reach. your tits, your stomach, your thighs all the way down to your ankles, he made sure to shower with affection. it’s nearly overwhelming. you knew you were starved for his attention but it feels like something breaks loose inside you the longer his mouth trails over your body, whispering declarations into your skin that left you tingling in his wake. by the time his fingers dip between your legs, your thighs are sticky with arousal, clit thrumming and begging to be touched. 

“look at my pretty baby’s pussy. all wet just for me?” 

“mhmm ‘s all for you, issei.” 

he hums, swirling his middle finger around your entrance and pressing the thick digit inside with ease. it’s only a few pumps later he adds another, stretching out your gummy walls. his other hand drifts over your mound, his thumb finally giving your clit some attention as his fingers graze over a spot inside you that has your hips rising off the bed. 

“stay still. you want to be my good girl, right?” the quiet authority that radiates from mattsun has you clenching around him, doing your best to do as he asks and keep your legs spread for him. “there you go. you’re taking me so well, baby. you’re close, aren’t you? i can feel it” 

mattsun loves showing off how well he knew your body, how it never took long for you to crumble beneath him. a few more idle circles with the pad of his thumb and your orgasm washes over you, rising gently and leaving you relaxed in its wake. 

that state didn’t last long as he replaces his thumb with his mouth, sucking at your clit that twitches against his tongue, still sensitive from your high. “issei! w-wait please give me a sec-” 

his glare is enough to cut through your babbling, his fingers never slowing in their strokes against that sweet spot. you let out a low moan as he adds yet another finger, the stretch just shy of uncomfortable but it’s quick to fade into pleasure once again. the flame in your gut is far more intense this time and you can’t stop the whimpers he pulls from you. you thread your fingers through his dark curls, tugging on them and pulling him deeper into your folds.

“that’s it, princess. cum on my tongue and i’ll stuff you full, i promise. you can do it, c’mon baby.” 

the encouragement has the coil in your gut tightening once more and the lewd sounds of mattsun lapping up every drop that escapes you is enough to snap it. when the blood stops ringing in your ears, you realize he’s shifted your positions. he’s sat cross-legged on the bed with you pulled into his lap, legs locked around his waist. his cock is pinned between your stomachs, smearing precum on your skin and your mouth waters as you catch sight of the blushing tip. 

he whispers your name to grab your attention, naked devotion plain on his face when you gaze up at him. “i love you.” 

this. this was your breaking point. the words you longed to hear every time you picked up the phone for those dreaded calls. your vision blurs with tears that well up and spill down your cheeks before you could blink them away. “you do?” 

“i do, baby, with everything i’ve got. i-“ he falters for a moments, visibly steeling himself for what he wanted to say. “i want to spend the rest of my life with you. there’s not a future i can picture that doesn’t include you. you’re it for me.” 

“i want that too ‘sei.” you hiccup, more tears trickle out faster than you can wipe them clear. 

you feel his whole body relax, hands rubbing at your sides to soothe you. “don’t cry, angel. wait till i’m inside you at least.” 

“shut up.” your laugh comes out watery but it feels good to smile. “how do you go from sweet to nasty so fast?” 

“just wanted to see you smile.” you try and fail to suppress another grin that only widens when mattsun peppers your cheeks with loud kisses. “so pretty and all mine.”

“all yours.” you repeat, grinding your soaked folds along the underside of his cock. “and you’re mine, right?” 

“that’s right, princess. go on, take what’s yours.” 

sinking down on mattsun feels like coming home, the empty ache finally gone as he fills you and you both moan when he bottoms out. there’s no way for you to bounce in this position but you find that you don’t mind. you feel closer to him like this, what little space there is between you vibrating with how vulnerable you both were. 

it’s relaxing, slowly rolling your hips against each other, not building towards anything and indulging in the other’s touch. your hands roam across his broad back, sucking dark marks into his neck while he grabs at your ass, kneading and groping so possessively you clench around him. 

“fuck.” he groans next to your ear. “keeping squeezing me with that princess cunt, you feel so fucking good. just like that, good girl.” 

“issei…” you whimper, pressure gradually building in your gut as your grinding gets sloppy and legs grow weak. 

“what is it, baby? use your words.” 

“want more, ‘sei i want your cum.” 

“yeah? want me to fill up this greedy pussy and keep you warm with my cum?” he leans forward, keeping you cradled in his arms as your back hits the mattress, your legs still crossed around his waist keeping him as close to you as possible. 

you nod, half delirious with need and mattsun begins thrusting in earnest. his cock is so thick he nudges against every sensitive spot along your walls, his tip battering just below your cervix and hitting so deep you swear you can feel it in your throat. his hands pry yours open from where you had been gripping the sheets and laces his fingers with yours. a swell of love rises in you and has you gasping for air as he fucks you into the mattress. you can’t even hear your own moans over the squelch as you grow wetter and wetter and the smack of his heavy balls against your ass.

your orgasm takes both of you by surprise, ripping through you so violently you’re left a shaking mess. mattsun’s hips stutter, bucking wildly into you as he nears his own high and you stare in awe as he reaches it. it’s a sight you’ll never get enough of, how beautiful he looks as he spills endlessly inside you, mindlessly grinding it deeper with his softening cock. 

“you okay, angel?” he asks, pulling you in for a sweet, lingering kiss. 

“mhmm. can we stay like this?” you weren’t ready to put any space between you, not so soon after reconnecting.

“‘course we can.” he settles over you, knowing exactly what you need. his weight a reassurance that grounds you in a way words never could. it’s a conversation in its own right, one that could only pass between two people who knew each other as well as you knew each other. in the quiet afterglow he tells you that he’s here with you. that you were going to work on being okay again. that he wouldn’t let you feel that lonely ever again. and you believe him with every fibre of your being. 

dedicated to: @honeykeigo @ohno-otome @keigobaby @saintdabi @toshidou @sawam0chi

[hozierandco]

Henry Cavill x Reader / Lessons / SMUT

A/N: Henry has to learn how to play golf for a film but his teacher may teach him a bit more than golf. In which Henry is a clumsy cinnamon roll. Inuendos intended, sorry not sorry. SMUT: oral sex (female receiving), vaginal sex, teasing, cursing, cumshot. Read at your own risk.

For the sake of a film in which he would play an aristocrat, Henry had to know how to play golf. He had agreed to it though he never had one single piece of knowledge on the matter.

Him who had done life-endangering stunts was not going to abandon for golf. He had three weeks before the beginning of the set and had decided to spend his holidays at a golf resort off in Scotland where he was determined to master the skills to that sport.

Y/N had been working at the Baurheid Club for the past five summers. The rest of the year, she lived in Glasgow but since her uncle was the club's manager and since she knew all about golf, she kept on working there.

The season was about to start and she was in charge of giving private classes for top-notch clients. Her rock solid privacy was celebrated by all and she was the perfect fit to deal with bankers and members of the idle class. An actor was about to complete the list.

"Y/N, here's the list of your clients for the next week"

Three names as each client required all attention. Quality over quantity was the motto of the club on that regard. The second one rang a bell to Y/N: Henry Cavill.

"Why does that name sound familiar? We've already have him, perhaps?" Y/N asked to Olivia who was welcoming the clients in the resort and who happened to be a close friend to Y/N.

"He's an actor, you fool" she replied in a moment of rest from the wave of clients "A handsome one too, lucky you!"

Instead of rejoicing along with Olivia, Y/N just hoped he was not the megalomaniac kind and that he wouldn't be a nightmare to work with. She went on with her day, many things had to be fixed before her first classes the next day.

Henry arrived by the entrance desk where Olivia acknowledged him and welcomed her just like any other client, in spite of her shouting internally. He had packed the bare minimum so his installment was brief.

The next day, it was almost noon when he woke up so he took himself out to the cafeteria.

Y/N had finished her first class of the day with a young member of the Dutch royal family and was gaining back the main accomodatio, up to the staff's lunch room. She had not changed clothes as she was not to meet any client.

Or so she thought.

"Oh, come on now!" Y/N heard someone grunting in her back as she was about to open the door to the place where she had left her food. She turned around only to see a frustrated Henry Cavill.

"May I help you, sir?" Y/N asked.

"Yes, please!" Henry jumped on the occasion "I'm looking for the lunch room but I always end up in this corridor... It's a bloody labyrinth there", he added holding back a nervous laugh.

Henry came back from his frustration as his misery was coming to an end with Y/N's arrival and that's on his way back that he noticed just how splendid Y/N was.

"Please, let me be your guide"

"Thank you very much. By the way, I'm Henry"

"And I'm Y/N", she responded making the connection with the photograph of Henry Olivia had shown her on her phone.

Along their journey to the lunch room, the two of them made some small talk while Y/N had to keep her composure. Olivia was right, he was bloody handsome. Even more so that on any photograph. And besides, he was visibly not a douche but an angel, making her feel at ease early on in their conversation.

As they arrived by the cafeteria filled with expensive furniture, the actor accompanied his "thank yous" with an offer: "I'm all alone at the resort, I could use some company for the lunch"

It was tempting if it wasn't for the fact that Y/N and the whole staff wasn't allowed to eat with the clients.

"Oh I see..." Henry said as Y/N explained the situation "But what if it's the client's decision. Isn't the customer always right?" he completed, glad he had found this trick to make her stay.

"Well, I suppose that it's the rule, yeah..." Y/N had been upset to decline the offer but she figured that indeed, she could stay a little while. Besides, the cafeteria was big enough for her not to be seen by anyone.

"It's a yes, then?"

"Yes, it is"

"So, what do you do here anyway?" Henry asked her as he came back from the buffet.

"I'm a golf instructor"

"Well, in that case, I'll probably see you on the green"

"About that, I should probably tell you that I'm the one who's gonna take care of your lessons for as long as you stay"

"I cannot wait. Though I should apologise in advance"

Y/N quizzed him by fixing his eyes. Shit, those eyes... Don't stare, don't stare, Y/N thought.

"I'm probably the worst golf player in Britain"

***

"You want to hold it like that" Y/N informed the way to seize the putter as she placed herself behind the impressive stature she had in front of her.

She could not believe that she was giving in the cliché of being glued to get someone to play golf.

Henry had not exaggerated, he indeed was pretty bad. In fact, he lacked of coordination and Y/N had to constantly remind him of how he was supposed to swing his body.

"May I?"

"Yes!" Henry was relieved to hear that he would get more help from her as she suggested than she could grab his arms to show the move.

She took his arms by the elbows. Henry being in a polo, she could feel all of his muscles under her touch.

"There, that's right! You've got the move. Now try to hit the ball"

And Henry executed himself but failed to even graze it. He snickered and then gave in a frank laughter that Y/N echoed.

"Right, you're gonna need to spend more time with me, Mr. Cavill"

"It's all I'm dreaming of. Dinner with me tonight in the garden?"

The class ended and for Y/N, it meant the beginning of her third and last class of the day.

As it was only 4 pm, Henry joined the games room where he had a view on the green where Y/N was helping an old lady to practice.

Of course, Y/N was too busy to notice him but it didn't stop him to smile like a child at her.

He was admiring her grace and her air of benevolence when a man came to him "She's a beauty, isn't she?"

Henry nodded at the stranger who in turns carried on "It must run in the family"

As Henry took his eyes oof of Y/N to see whom he was talking to, the stranger introduced himself "I'm Max, the club's manager. Y/N's uncle"

"Oh! How do you do? I'm Henry"

Max nodded, knowing very well who his select guest was.

"Is she a great teacher to you?"

"For sure. It's just that I'm a terrible pupil"

Max laughed along with Henry "Ah, son, she'll make a great player out of you"

The dinner happened. Henry had changed into another polo paired with camel chinos.

Y/N too had changed into a strapless floral dress with brown sandals. She greeted Henry as she sat down in the grass on which Henry had displayed a basket of fruits.

They started drinking and talking as the moon rose in the sky.

"I've talked with your uncle this afternoon"

"Oh have you? He's quite something, isn't he?"

"That he is. According to him, you're the greatest teacher out there"

"And you doubt it?"

"I'll try to be as good as a lamb for you"

After dinner, Y/N suggested that they take a walk around the resort. Any way to make the night last longer was worth seizing.

Everything was calm. No one around. Under their feet, the grass was slightly wet as dew had started forming and tinting their shoes.

Y/N took off her shoes, soon followed by Henry who had not done something as spontaneous as throwing a picnic in a very long time.

With their shoes in their hands, they carried on walking on the grass as crickets were going for a symphony and more and more windows got dark afar.

"It's been ages since I hadn't spent a lovely night like that" Henry sighed with pleasure "but that being said, I should hit my bed if I want to be at the top of my performance for my strict instructor"

The two of them had gotten very close to one another "If I stay now, I'm staying the whole night" Henry commented as Y/N's lips were dangerously close to his.

"I would let you" Y/N replied.

***

Henry and Y/N had met regularly apart from the times set for the classes over the last two weeks and if Henry had barely gotten better, the two of them had grown fond of the other. They had kissed on the fourth night, but both of them were not craving for more. Henry did not wish to rush things, nor did Y/N though the tension became unbearable.

"Do you think your uncle would kick you out if you spent the night at my room tonight?" Henry ventured as the class was over, wishing that he could kiss her right there, on the green.

"I wouldn't mind being kicked out if it meant spending the night with you" Y/N answered as she put back the clubs in the trolley.

After they finished eating at their favourite spot, Henry seized Y/N's hand and together they traveld to his room.

As Henry opened the door, he preceded Y/N,cupping her face with his hands to make her follow him in the suite.

He shut the door behind her and took her in his arms, only letting go on her after having carefully laid her on the bed.

"It is my turn to teach you a lesson, baby", he purred in her ear as he had let his lips wander from her legs to her face.

He placed his body over Y/N's but suddenly he got repentant and cursed "Fuck, I came here with nothing..."

Of course, Henry had no plans of making love to his instructor when he had booked holidays at the resort and found himself caught off guard, without protection for the night.

"In my purse" Y/N told him where to look.

"You might just be the most prepared teacher ever"

"Just grab it" Y/N begged him as he was going for encores, giving another sequel of kisses to her skin.

Henry ripped the scabbard and took his apparel out of his trousers, dressing it for the occasion.

Gracious God! There was lot to look at...

Fully erect, Henry came back in bed where Y/N was trying her best not to stare at the length.

"You sure about this?" Henry inquired as he aligned himself.

"Never been more sure in my whole life"

Henry then slid his member, inch by inch to be sure that Y/N was coping with what she was given.

He was just half through when it began to hurt.

"It's alright, doll!" Henry consoled her "I'm sorry, I'll go slow, I promise"

Henry found his way out as he had an idea to ease the process. Y/N still under him, he got down on her and made a feast of the flesh flashing before his eyes.

There was no doubt: he was much better at this than with golf.

As Y/N looked down at the face that had found shelter between her legs, she noticed just how dedicate he was. He was giving it all the attention required.

His eyes were glistening by the feeble light above their head.

Henry's cock was beating a rhythm of its own, pleased at it was that Henry was able to make Y/N moan with just his tongue and fingers.

The resort was known for "its quiet nights" and "tranquil setting" but tonight, Henry was eager to go off the rails.

It did have the expected effect on Y/N since her lair had gotten damp. Henry let her come back from the mountain she had climbed before he dived inside.

This time around, the whole length got in no sooner said than done.

"You're just so gorgeous!" Henry articulated with difficulty as he was carrying his moves, putting more energy by every second that went by.

Y/N's fingers borrowed the path drawn by his torso which was dripping with sweat "You're one very good student. And a very hot one too"

Henry's heart was pounding in his chest as he lifted Y/N's legs to put them by each side of his spine. That way, he reached a new spot with the tip of his penis which made Y/N pant with his name on her lips.

"Henry!" she cried her lungs out through the dark of the night. The tranquil nights long gone.

"Come for me, doll!"

She didn't have to hear twice as she was unleashing her falls.

But Henry was insatiable. Though teased twice by the sight of Y/N coming for him, his cock was still showing no sign of weakness.

He was willing to let go of her lover to give her some rest while he would take care of himself but Y/N stopped him as he was about to take off the condom.

"I wouldn't mind a third lesson" she told him "Let's change the angle. Show me how your swing's going. As for your stamina, Mr. Cavill, it got much better"

Y/N got on all fours, spreading her legs for Henry to come up behind her. As he entered the well, Y/N stretched herself so that she in turn allowed more of Hnery to get in and out.

Henry was admiring the view as he held Y/N by her hips, pounding her.

In and out, fast at first, the sounds of his cock hitting the bottom of her cunt.

Then Henry who got tired of the the action - and who was not going to hold it back for very much longer as Y/N's moans were rushing his climax - got slow, savouring every second he had ahead of him before he would come too.

Sensing that Y/N was close to get her third orgasm as she got tight around his cock, he decided for her to come to do so as well, and hoped that it would arrive soon.

She did come, shouting and laughing as she came back.

"I don't want you to come in that. I want to see you coming for me, Henry"

Henry then quickly removed the piece of latex which was soiled with pre-cum. The sole fact of taking it off almost made him come.

Henry kneeled on the bed by the level of Y/N who was laying down and emptied himself on her stomach.

"I cannot wait for our next class" Henry said in a sigh as he rested his limbs by Y/N.

[itsallyscorner]

Gray Spot

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x reader

Summary: Reader appreciates that gray spot in Seb’s beard even though he hates it.

Warnings: None, kinda fluff.

A/n: I’m definitely writing about his gray spot more because I find it so cute, I have no idea why.

(Have ya’ll noticed that prominent gray part in Seb’s beard? Cuz I have and now I’m writing about it:))

Dragostea ~ Love

“Dragostea?” Sebastian called from the bathroom. You placed the knife you were holding on the cutting board and quickly rinsed your hands.

“Baby, can you come in here?” He called again, urgency in his voice. Growing concerned, you threw the dish rag you were wiping your hands with onto the counter.

Speed walking down the hall to the bathroom you ask, “What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything!” His voice softly replied down the hall. “Just come in here.”

Stopping at the doorframe, you see Sebastian bent over the sink with his face almost flush against the mirror. His head is tilted as his hand holds his chin up at an angle. Sebastian’s eyes meet yours through the mirror.

“Hehe, hi.” He greets you with an adorable smile.

“Hey...what are you doing?” Your voice trails off as you see a box of hair dye on top of the toilet seat. Sebastian stands straight and wraps his arm around your waist as you enter the bathroom.

“I’m just thinkin’.”

“Thinkin’ bout what, Seb?” You leans against his chest as you look into the mirror with him.

“I want to dye my beard.” He tells you. Your brows knit together as you turn around in his arms.

“What? Why? What’s wrong with it?” You begin to question him. Sebastian looks down at your frowning face. Your hands cradled his jaw, fingers stroking his beard.

“What do you mean? It’s turning gray, (y/n)! Especially that spot!” He roughly motions to the place where your thumb is stroking. The spot right on the side of his chin that’s grayer than the rest of his beard.

“So? That doesn’t mean you have to dye it! Seb, your beard looks completely fine!” You reassure him.

“I hate it, it reminds me that I’m getting old.” He huffs grimacing at himself in the mirror. You sigh realizing it was probably making him insecure about himself. You honestly didn’t mind that his beard was turning gray, in fact it didn’t even cross your mind that he was “getting old”.

“I mean, if you want to dye it you can. Whatever you’re comfortable with, it’s your beard.” You start as you stare at the gray spot. “But I like the little gray specks in your beard.” You hum pressing a kiss onto the spot.

Sebastian takes his wild eyes off himself and brings them to look at you. “You like it?”

“Yeah! That’s my favorite spot!” You answer, your thumb brushing against the gray hairs of his chin.

You loved Sebastian’s beard. It was all nice and fluffy, it framed his face perfectly, and it felt really good in between your legs when you guys were getting intimate. You loved Seb with or without the beard, but you thought he just looked more complete with a beard. You were never bothered when he decided to let it grow out. You didn’t care if it tickled or scratched your face when Sebastian would kiss you. You actually became fond of the little gray spot on his chin. You weren’t sure why, but it became one of your favorite places to kiss him. Maybe it was because it stood out compared to the other short gray strands of his beard? Either way, that little spot was just one of the many little things you loved about Sebastian.

“That gray spot is your favorite spot?”

“Yes, it is.” You confirm. “It’s my favorite place to kiss you besides your lips.” You shyly confess sinking into your shoulders.

Sebastian’s eyes remain on you as he thinks back to the multiple times you’ve kissed his chin. He’s noticed that once he began growing his beard out, you would kiss his chin more. Usually you’d go straight in for a kiss, but when his beard became a thing, you’d always kiss his chin first and then kiss his lips.

You guys were getting ready for dinner with some of the members of the Avengers movies. Sebastian’s been invited by Robert Downey Jr and he even suggested that Seb should bring you along. So there you two were standing side by side in your shared bathroom.

You were wearing a beautiful black silky dress that hung by spaghetti straps on your shoulders and stopped at your knees. You were doing your makeup while Seb stood beside you fixing his hair. You reached for the tube of red lipstick and pull the cap off. You’re about to apply the lipstick but Sebastian stopped you, holding onto your wrist.

“Wait, give me a kiss first.” He muttered, taking the lipstick from your hands and placing it beside the sink.

“Baby, I could still give you kisses with lipstick on.” You chuckled against his lips. He’s pulled you close, your chest against his as his large hand pressed onto your back.

“Yeah, I know. But I don’t want to mess with your lipstick once it’s on. I just watched you put all that work in to put makeup on and if I kiss you I might mess it up.” He huffed out pressing a peck onto your lips.

You smiled against his lips and wrap your arms around his neck. “You are such a sweetheart, I appreciate you not wanting to mess up my makeup. I love you.” You hummed.

“I love you too.” He whispered, as you pressed a kiss onto the gray spot on his chin that has appeared once he began growing his beard out. You moved you lips to connect with his and pulled him into a deeper kiss.

When your lips pulled away you motioned to his beard, “I like the beard, you should keep it.”

Sebastian shook himself out of his thoughts and cradled your face.

“So you don’t care that my hair is getting gray? Or that I’m getting old?” He asked towering over you. You stare into his steel blue eyes and wrap your hand around his wrists, thumbs stroking the outside of his hands.

“Sebastian, those things are normal, they’re going to happen even if you try stopping it. But no, I don’t care if your hair is getting grayer or if you’re getting older than me. They’re the things that make you—well you. And that’s all I care about Sebastian, I love you for you. I’m with you because I love you, not because you’re hot or some actor. I love you because you’re the most sweetest man I’ve ever met. You’re so smart and you make me laugh all the time. You’re always so kind and caring. There’s so much more to you than your age and some specks or gray hair, Sebastian. I hope you realize that one day. And if you don’t, I’ll make sure you do, because, I love you.” By the end of your little speech Sebastian’s eyes have teared up, a little drop spilling from his eyes and down his cheek.

“Seb.” You coo as you wipe his cheeks. He sniffs while he wraps his arms around you for a hug. Though he was much taller than you, his head was in the crook of your neck. You felt his tears fall onto your shoulder as he held you tighter.

“Thank you. I just— I was feeling insecure and thought you wouldn’t love me anymore, it was stupid.” His voice is quiet as he continues to hold you.

“It’s not stupid, your feelings aren’t stupid.” You pull away from him and hold his face to look at yours. His blue eyes were a bit gloomy, a frown was on his face, and his cheeks were wet from his tears.

“How about next time you’re feeling like this again, you tell me. We’ll find a way to get through it, alright?” You suggest.

“Yeah, I’d like that.” Sebastian nods, “The same thing goes for you, you know.” He presses a kiss onto your palm, the gesture making you smile.

“I know.” A few seconds pass before you speak again.

“Alright, do you wanna help me make dinner now?” Sebastian stands upright, eyes back to their bright blue.

“Aren’t we having pizza?” He asks softly, smile hinting on his lips.

“Yup.”

“Of course.” Before you can both leave the bathroom, you press a kiss onto his gray spot and to his lips. A little gesture that Sebastian’s grown to love, now that he knew the meaning behind it. The two of you make your way back to the kitchen, the box of hair dye now forgotten.

[blissfulparker]

A Work in progress→T.H

Parings: Tom Holland x Actress!reader

Summary: when You and Tom both have each other as a celebrity crush, you two unknowingly take on the role of each other’s lovers in a new movie and are expected to make it real. When the director puts the two of you in a house for the weekend to get to know each other there is little more to rehearsing than just your lines.

Warnings: awkwardness in the first half, smut(oral female), sexual tension

A/n: this is based off of a blurb I did, where it was just from a physical affection prompt list that I went off on! I hope you guys enjoy 💗

Wc: 4k

Tom didn’t know why he was so nervous as he opened the large glass doors to the conference building. His palms were sweaty as he walked alone rather than with his brother and assistant Harry.

He loved working on new projects, new films, meeting new people but the scare of not knowing the new people made him nervous. At this point he normally would be able to get some sort of name, do some research on said person but this time they gave him nothing but a script.

The script was more of a love story. a serious role but one where he could be more seductive and serious, he could let go of the goofy teenager character he seemed to be stuck with.

His character, Jack, who would be the corrupt business man who falls for the one trying to bring down his company, the main female protagonist, Beth.

The meeting started at 10:00. Always being early he seemed to see someone else was too. You stand in front of the coffee machine, trying to get it to work as you waited for the meeting to start—or at least people to come in.

“Oi let me help you with that—“ he offers but a small Yelp comes from your mouth as you quickly turn around and hit your head against the British accented stranger.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry! You scared me half to death—“ you hold your head as you look up, a wave of heat washes over your body and you don’t know if it was just because you hit your head hard enough or if it was because you finally figured out who you were working with.

“I should’ve said something else first, I’m so sorry—“ fuck. He thinks as he looks at you. You who managed to make a way onto the list of celebrities he wants to work with. You who also made it on the list of celebrities he wants to date.

The fans knew quickly he had a tiny crush on you. As he once liked a fan edit of the two of you on the read carpet. He seemed to be one of the firsts to like your Instagram photos and even mentioning your name in an interview saying how pretty you were.

You were the same, with smaller fame of course. You along with half of the other population who enjoyed marvel movies and dorky characters, you fell in love with the curly haired British boy. Finding him extremely talented and a heartthrob of course, you quickly dreamt about working with him but laughed about it never coming true.

Now he was in front of you. His chin red from where your head collided with it and he only stares at you in response.

The awkward silence quickly filled as the two of you tried and laugh off the interaction.

“Tom—“

“(Y/n)—“ you both say your names at the same time. Him going in for a handshake and you going in for an awkward hug. The two of you stop and laugh it off before deciding a simple handshake was the way to go. You had never wanted to quit your entire career more than now.

“Oh! Perfect!” Finally as the tension was cut the director walked into the room. Two people followed behind and you took a deep breath already nervous for the new film and exactly what Toms role was. As far as you read, the main female character, who you were to be playing, had to be in lingerie a few times in front of the main male character. There were also sex scenes, plenty of kiss scenes and sexual tension. You were fit for the character but you were not fit for Tom. All your fantasies about him were just fantasies.

“I see the two of you have already met. But If not, (y/n) meet Tom, Tom meet (y/n) you two will be working together for the next few months as I’m sure you are aware of your roles. (Y/n) will be playing the lover and spy where Tom you will be playing the businessman. I’m sure we already know our positions…” the director starts and you swallow hard.

Tom doesn’t know if you’re looking or not to see the pink shade coming to his cheeks and making him hot. You were just an actress, he thought, an actress who just had to play the role. He was an actor as well, he reminds himself. A very good one for the fact so he didn't want to mess this up all because of one silly crush.

“We want to put you two in a house together.” The director claps his hands together making you nearly spit out the coffee you had in front of you. Tom's head snaps to look at you as you cough a bit trying to digest the words.

“You want us to live together?” Tom speaks for you it seems.

“We only want to see your chemistry! The fans, the academy, loves chemistry! Trust me, people will love the movie but they will not care if they see just two other actors acting to be in love. Not really caring you know? We want to see you guys build a bond, passion, some sort of love even if you lie to us about it to make it believable. Run through your lines, skinny dip with each other for all we care we just want to see passion!” You feel like his words are turning into a dream as he speaks. You feel your heart pounding at his words and try your hardest to keep your calm.

“And where will we be going?” You finally find the strength to speak. If it was anyone else you would not care, reminding yourself you are a good actress and have acted like you wanted to fuck a man you hate. But this was a man you actually wanted to fuck, a man you actually wanted real passion with.

“We rented you two a flat in spain,” he mentions, right, where you’ll be shooting, you think. “It’s only three days and if you want more we will give you more if you don’t we will let you free. Every expense is paid for, go to dinner, have wine, everything will be on the film. This is both of your chances at big awards this year. This is for you and for us.” You could almost feel Toms body heat as he was just as nervous as you, you didn’t know why though. He was the heartthrob, he was the actor that was wanted left and right, this was your big chance at a movie that can skyrocket your career.

The next hour feels torturous as all you could think about was what this house looked like for the two of you. Did it have two rooms? Two bathrooms? Why did your head hit his chin? Is there a bump? What if he hates you? What if he’s secretly seeing someone and just doesn’t want to announce it? All thoughts ran through your head as you had to make this your best acting gig yet. Except the most acting might be pretending not to love Tom the way you do.

-

Three days. That’s all it was. You would spend three days in whatever this house looked like and all you would have to do is pretend to get to know Tom. All while trying not to expose how much you truly like him.

There were rumors he had a crush on you, of course you saw the interview and noticed how he liked your pictures but you also knew his co-stars from Spider-Man so your thoughts were friendly.

Taking an Uber to the destination, you pull up to this beautiful Italian cottage. Gorgeous stone walls and large driveway, If there was one emotion to be real about this entire thing, it would be that you were spoiled with this house.

You were already nervous as people started to catch on through social media, his fans seeming to know his constant move now quickly knowing yours.

‘Stars (y/n) (y/l/n) and Tom Holland possibly take on a new film with one another: here’s what we know’

‘Why is Tom in Italy?’ ‘Is (y/n) in Italy?’ ‘Rumor is they are filming together soon’

Your heart rushed with comments you had read. Maybe this wasn’t for you, maybe you should stay with doing small movies where you were a side character or something simple. Keep the small amount of followers you had compared to Toms 40 million.

As you go up to knock on the door wondering if he’s already beat you to the place, the door opens and reveals the sight of Tom.

Another Yelp escapes your lips as you jump at Tom opening the door so quickly.

“If we’re living together I think you should hold off on scaring me.” You take a deep breath. His hair was wet, he was fresh out of a shower.

“Sorry darling! They told me your flight landed at 2:00 and well...it’s 2:00 so you aren’t supposed to be here until like 3:00.” He claims and you take a deep breath. Three days, you remind yourself, don’t mess it up.

“Oh…” you swallow.

“Not that I didn’t want to see you! It’s nice to see you again, you look really nice!” He says as you wear the sweats and the sweatshirt from the airport. “Let me help you with those.” He grabs your bags for you and you smile letting him take it. He leans in just close enough for you to smell the aftershave he put on, his muscles flex as he grabs your bags making this all the harder for you.

The night was young, fans already knew, this was your shot at making it big, Tom's shot of winning an Oscar, you two needed to work together. Pushing aside the worried one sided emotion and be able to make a movie that blows people away

“Have you ever done anything like this before?” You asked as you walked into the kitchen. It was now late, you were starving, you and Tom already getting to know each other but it was strange.

“No, I mean the most I’ve done for a chemistry read is take the person out to dinner.” He laughs a little and then runs a hand through his hair. “Speaking of dinner...should we grab something or make something. Unless you had plans of your own then that’s totally fine—“ he starts to ramble and you laugh.

“I cannot cook, so unless you can I prefer to pick something up.” You cut him off to make sure he doesn’t go on and on.

“Have you ever pizza from Italy before?” He asks and you lean against the counter.

“I’ve never been in Italy before.” You shrugged and he grew a smirk. He turns on his heels as if he already has an idea.

“Then I know a place.” He walks out of the room to grab his phone.

You feel your heart pounding as you check your phone. You made a mistake by opening your Twitter, 10k new followers, 50k mentions and plenty more all regarding Tom. You only hoped he wasn’t the type to use Twitter as it was flooded with people wanting you guys to be together.

Your mind swarms with the thought of your character again. Soon you’d have to stand in front of your celebrity crush, half naked, trying to seduce him. It was going to be more awkward if you guys were friends.

“Are you coming?” He calls out and you quickly shove your phone in your back pocket before grabbing your purse to go.

Three days and you feel like you’re already going to snap.

-

It was a lovely little place he brought you to. You didn’t know If he’d come to Italy often but he clearly knew a decent way around the city. The two of you sat in the corner of a dimly lit Italian restaurant, sharing pizza and feeling more comfortable with each other as the night went on. He was just another person, you thought, nothing to worry about.

“We didn’t order any wine.” You stop the server as he pours both you and Tom a glass. Tom already drunk off of the beer he had and you only enjoying his presence.

“Ah it’s on the house, such a lovely couple in such a lovely city! You two should have fun!” The server winks. You almost protest to stop him telling him that you and Tom were nearly just coworkers stuck in a house for three days.

But rather Tom thanks the server and takes the glass. Your heart pounding as you pick up the glass as well, the boys eyes already red from how much he’s had already and you can tell you have to take him home.

“You know I was nervous to be working with you.” He took a sip before setting it down. “When I saw you I was like ‘shit this is happening’ and freaked out.” He admitted and you try to hold back the butterflies in your stomach.

“You freaked out for working with me?” You swallowed and he nodded.

“Well look at you, you’re gorgeous! Anyone would be lucky to work with you, as your lover as well.” He falls back into the booth and stares at the décor on the ceiling.

“So you read all the scenes?” You ask and he nodded.

“Of course i did! I only improve when I feel like it.” He shrugs, taking another sip.

“You said you’re method too.” You remember from one interview you watched years ago. Your voice was more of a whisper, more to yourself but he grows a soft smirk as he turns his head to face you.

“So you watched my interviews.” He says feeling cocky. You roll your eyes taking another sip of wine yourself to hopefully drown out the embarrassment you just gave yourself.

“As if I don’t see you being the first to like my posts, Holland.” You avoid eye contact and rather look around the room but Tom only focuses on you.

When you catch his eyes they’re sober, this whole time he was telling stories in a drunken state and now he looks at you with glossy soft eyes as if he wants to hear more.

“So you see me liking your posts?” He teases and you finally look at him.

“I see everyone liking my posts. Why do you follow me?” You challenge and he holds back a smirk.

“You’re friends with Z, why do you follow me?” He asks back and you feel yourself straighten.

“Z is friends with a lot of people, I don’t see you following all of them?” You argue and he falls back into the booth again with a soft chuckle.

“So not only do you follow me but you stalk me?” He teases and you groan.

“Not what I meant.” You see how much wine you have left, not a lot as your nerves filled you and the wine didn’t calm you. “You liked a fan edit of us a year ago. We’ve never met until a few days ago.” You rest your head on your hand that props itself up against the table. That’s what makes him lose his game, he turns a light shade of red before quickly straightening himself up.

“You’re talented, why don’t we see more of you?” He asks about your roles.

“You’re about to see everything in a few days.” You mumble and he chokes on his wine.

Page 281

*Beth removes her robe in front of Jack, slowly stalking towards him wearing the tight black lingerie* *she crawls on top of his sleepy figure and points a gun*

It was embarrassing that such a scene turned him on after finding out who it was with. After finding out it was you, he read over every single sex scene, strip scene, makeout scene to make sure everything was real.

“Oh relax.” You hold back a smile. “You’re the Method actor, remember?” You tease. He leans forward, he’s not sure how he’s gotten so confident but he takes your glass and drinks from it before setting it down.

“Yeah, I am. We should rehearse some things, get more comfortable.” He suggests and you look at him up and down. His lips slightly stained reddish pink from the wine, his skin damp from how hot the room was, and he looked at you as if no one else was in the room.

“And where should we start?” You swallow, you can’t get shy now. You’ve dreamt about this moment and now it’s happening.

“Well, if we’re starting with their meeting, I think it would go something like this.” He leans in and places a soft kiss on your neck. You’re frozen as his lips are soft and warm, he pulls back and realizes what he’s done. His thoughts of you, his crush on you, the warm alcohol that ran through his blood all while being in Italy got the best of him.

“I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done—“ he started and you leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to kiss lips. His eyes go wide softly as if he was a school boy getting his first kiss.

“More wine?” The waiter comes back and Tom snaps out of it for a split second.

“We’ll take the check.”

-

Your hands tangled in with his messy hair, his shirt already off as he was warm from the summer heat Italy provided. His lips trail down from your lips to your neck as he plays with the strings of the summer dress you wore.

“I can’t believe this is happening.” His words mumbled into your chest as he lets the shoulders of your dress fall.

“Why? You want to admit you have a crush on me now?” you teased and when he looks up his eyes are darker. The sweet chocolate puppy dog eyes before now darkened as his lips were swollen and his face was hot. His hands rest at your hips with a tight grip as he wants more.

“You admitted to stalking my interviews and who i follow so i should be asking you that question.” he teased and you rolled your eyes. Your Only respond by pushing his head back into your chest where he planted soft kisses trailing down.

“So soft,” he takes off the bra you wore. Hes thought about this moment but would never admit it. Hes thought about how soft your skin is and how you looked under his touch with his head in between your legs—

“Do something tom.” you groan as he is on his knees for you. Your dress bunched at your waist, all exposed for him as he takes off the black lace underwear you wore under the dress.

“All for me?” he asks and your head hits the back of the wall, your hands go to his hair and he kisses gently at your thigh. “Say something, darling.” darling, you think about the way he says that word. The simple nickname that made you melt. Darling, that was going to be the death of you.

“Y-yes!” you find the words. “I-I don’t think this is apart of the script though.” You still try and be playful and just below your eyes you can see he has a playful and cocky smirk.

“This,” his thumb rubs at your clit as he looks up. His lips cherry red and his smirk is full view to you as he sees your eyes flutter shut as your head was thrown back. “This is where I improve.” he replaces his thumb with his tongue as he pumps his middle finger in and out of you. Your hands grip his hair as you moan his name, his name that you thought of so many times before this in your dreams.

Your knees go weak as his one hand pins your hips against the wall and his other fingers thrusted in and out of you while his tongue works at your clit.

“Tommy!” The nickname slipped, you didn’t mean it but you imagined it sometimes long before you met him and just had a crush.

“Huh darling? Like that? Want to cum?” His words horse and his accent thicker. “That’s right...” he almost laughs as he can see how much you’re whimpering. “Cum for me.”

You fall under his touch with soft moans leaving your lips. The wave of euphoria washes over you and you struggle to open back up your eyes and come back to reality.

He comes back up to face you, this time you have a thin layer of sweat over your forehead and your chest rises as you catch your breath. You take Tom's fingers and take them into your mouth. Acting as if it were him in your mouth you work your tongue around his finger before taking them out with a pop.

His eyes stare and he almost winces at how hard he is. How hard you've made him.

“This is going to be the best damn movie i've ever filmed.” he nearly whispers as you bite down on your lip before pulling him back into your lips.

This was going to be the best six months of your life.

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[watchmegetobsessed]

REMINDER

a/n: i’ve had this idea on my mind all weekend and finally got around to write it! just a short little oneshot of Bucky finally realizing he should make his move 😌

pairing: Bucky X Reader

warnings: blood, gunshot

word count: 3.7k

masterlist

(gif is not mine)

Bucky hated Tony’s luxurious parties, but as part of the team, he could just never avoid them, someone always came into his room and forced him to join the others, telling him it would be so much fun. It was never. He doesn’t even know what he would find fun anymore, having his life back after all these torturous years, it’s hard to find what brings him happiness, but schmoozing with Tony’s friends and the team and all the agents is just not his cup of tea. He would rather hide in his room, read a book or catch up with whatever show he has been watching lately.

The night he met you was a similar one. Steve was the first one to drop by his room, trying to convince him to get dressed and join the rest of the team for a drink, but Bucky resisted until his friend gave up and left, but then came Natasha. She just always knew how to play the strings to make him do what she wanted. After a bit of persuasion he finally agreed to make an appearance, though he made it clear he wouldn’t be there too long.

After changing into a pair of dark jeans and a black long sleeved shirt that hid his metal arm quite well, he made his way to the party, already feeling grumpy that he had to socialize. It was just like the last time. He got himself a drink, talked a little to Steve, then Banner and Nat and then hid in the corner of the room, avoiding any new faces, not in the mood to introduce himself. He was about to sneak out and go back to his room finally when he first saw you.

You were a relatively new agent in the tower. Having only been there for a few weeks, you didn’t have the chance to meet Bucky since he was on a mission up until a few days ago. You were a bit of a social butterfly, it didn’t take you too long to make friends in the Tower and you found yourself getting the closest to Wanda for some reason.

When Bucky saw you that evening you were talking to her near a high table, nursing a drink in your hands. You wore a white, tight dress that made it no secret how much all the training had helped to form your body through the years. He couldn’t hear your voice, but when he saw your smile, he swore his heart skipped a beat.

Your eyes caught his gaze lingering on you and he quickly turned away, feeling his cheeks growing hot, as if he was a kid caught red-handed of something troublesome. Bucky hoped you didn’t notice it or that he didn’t cross any lines, asking for another drink for himself he was planning to chug the whole thing down and then leave before he could embarrass himself any more. What he was not expecting was you making your way towards him to introduce yourself to the man you’d only heard about, but hadn’t met. He was so busy with making up his plan about how to escape and then thanking his drink to the bartender, that he didn’t even notice you approaching him. So when he turned to the left and was about to walk away he bumped right into you, some of his vodka soda spilling to your dress, making it stick to your skin on your thigh.

“Oh shit, I-I’m so sorry, I didn’t—I wasn’t looking, I’m so so—“

“It’s alright,” you chuckled, shrugging your shoulders as you grabbed a few napkins from the bar to soak up some of the wetness.

“I totally ruined it, right? I’ll buy you another dress or pay for this one, I’m so sorry,” he kept rambling, feeling like a total idiot.

“It’s just a dress,” you smiled at him warmly. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Well, it’s… it’s a pretty dress,” Bucky found himself saying and when he saw your eyebrows raising, he almost wanted to take it back.

“I’m afraid we haven’t met before. I’m Agent Y/L/N and you must be Sergeant Barnes,” you smiled at him, holding out a hand for him that he took and delicately shook.

“Just… call me Bucky,” he nodded with a shy smile and that was the start of something new in his life.

He found himself bumping into you all the time, in the controlling room, the gym, the kitchen, you were everywhere. Though it might not had been that coincidental, Bucky found himself learning your routine pretty fast and made his own schedule according to that. He couldn’t help it, you were the sweetest and most beautiful creature he had ever seen and he found himself being drawn to you. And you didn’t mint it, not even a bit. A special bond started to form between the two of you, movie nights, shared missions, runs around the city, you always had something to do together and Bucky was falling for you more and more with every passing day.

Nat and Steve liked to tease him about his growing feelings, but utterly with the intention of forcing him to make a move finally.

“What are you waiting for, Barnes?” Nat questioned him one afternoon when she caught him eyeing you in the controlling room.

“What are you talking about?” he cleared his throat, pretending like he had no idea, but he wasn’t a good actor.

“Just ask her out.”

“No,” he shook his head, folding his arms on his chest.

“Why not? She has the same heart eyes for you that you have for her,” she rolled her eyes nodding in your way. You were sitting behind a desk, oblivious to the conversation that was happening across the room.

“She is just friendly. That’s all we are. Friends.”

“We are friends, Barnes. You and her? That’s more than that,” Nat pointed it out and he looked in your way, chewing on his bottom lip as he watched you type something out on the computer. As if you could feel his gaze on you, you looked up, eyes meeting his and a warm smile tugging on your lips. Bucky could feel his heart fluttering in his chest, just like every time you looked at him with those bright eyes of yours.

He couldn’t bring himself to make an actual move. He was always so afraid you’d reject him and the friendship you shared was one of the most important things in his life. He didn’t want to risk losing it. Besides, he always thought he would have time to figure out what to do. Even if he decided to confess to you, he couldn’t just do it out of the blue, he needed time which he thought he had. It was up until the two of you went on a mission together and it didn’t go according to plan.

You were supposed to stay together during the raid, but you convinced him to split up when you started chasing some bad guys and they parted ways.

“It’s going to be fine, Bucky. You go that way and I’ll meet you by the jet, alright?” you told him before running off the other direction. He wanted to go after you, not let you go alone, but he didn’t listen to his instinct.

Now he is running through the maze of hallways after you asked for help through the com. Natasha is on her way too, but she is way farther from your location than he is.

“Y/N? Are you alright?” he calls out, trying to find the right way. Gunshots are heard outside and Tony makes some stupid joke about Steve, but Bucky ignores it, he just wants to hear your voice.

“Yeah, but I’m out of bullets, hurry—“

A series of gunshots rips through the com and he hears your painful grunt, the sound of your whimper turning his blood cold right away.

“Y/N! Y/N what happened?!” he shouts, speeding down the hallways leading to the place where you’re supposed to be according to your tracker.

“I got—Shit I got shot,” you groan, the end fading out as your voice breaks.

He bursts through the double door and immediately sees the man that most likely shot you, holding up his gun Bucky shoots him in the chest so fast the guy didn’t even have time to aim at him.

“Y/N!” he calls out, frantically looking for you.

“Bucky!” he hears your faint voice coming from behind a desk. He sprints to you, kneeling down next to you and horror shakes through his whole body when he sees the relatively big pool of blood around you as you try to push your hands to the wound on your thigh. “I think… I think it grazed an artery,” you faintly tell him, a few tears rolling down your cheek.

“Fuck, no, no, stay with me, okay? You’re gonna be fine!” he tells you, ripping off the sleeve of his shirt, wrapping it around your leg as tight as possible to try to stop the bleeding. “Y/N was shot, she is losing blood rapidly. We need to get her out now!” he demands through the com while you are slowly losing your consciousness. “Don’t fall asleep, alright? Stay with me! Talk to me!” he begs you as he cradles you into his arms and heads out to the jet.

“I can’t…” you breathe out, your head falling to his shoulder as he carries you in bridal style.

“Of course you can. And you will. You are not dying on me, understood?”

“It’s not like… I have a choice,” you tell him with a faint smile, your eyes slowly closing.

“Y/N, don’t fall asleep! Just hang in there a little longer!”

He makes it out of the building, Natasha and Steve joining him on the way, the jet already waiting for them. You try to keep your eyes open, Bucky keeps asking you questions and doesn’t leaves you until he hears an answer.

“This was not how I imagined my death,” you mumble, lying on the floor of the jet as it takes off, heading back to the Tower where Dr. Cho is already waiting for you.

“It’s not that, Y/N, that’s not happening now. Just stay with me okay?” Bucky begs you, holding your hand in his while Natasha works on your leg, trying her best to keep you from losing any more blood.

“So eager to keep me alive, hmm?” you smile, eyes dropping closed, but Bucky squeezes your hand, making you to look at him.

“Of course. I still owe you a new dress, don’t I?” he tries to joke, but you don’t answer. You lost your fight and let yourself lose consciousness as Bucky keeps calling your name over and over again, but you never answer him.

The next twenty-four hours is a blur to both you and him as well. For him because he refuses to leave your side once you are out of Dr. Cho’s hands, he stays sitting on the uncomfortable chair by your bed no matter what as members of the team drop by every once in a while. And for you because you keep drifting in and out of consciousness, but you’re never strong enough to actually open your eyes, you only hear voices. Mostly Bucky’s.

One time you hear him talking to Steve, their voices sound distant, but you can understand the words clearly.

“I shouldn’t have let her go alone,” Bucky mumbles under his breath.

“It wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t have known this would happen,” Steve tries to convince her, but it sounds like Bucky is too stubborn to listen to his friend.

“We were supposed to stay together. It was my fault.”

You want to protest. You want to tell him it was none of his fault, but you can’t bring yourself to speak and the darkness pulls you in again, cutting you off of the world. Next time your mind wakes up, you hear Natasha’s soothing voice.

“Why don’t you go and sleep a little? I’ll stay with her,” she offers and that’s when you feel a warm hold on your left hand.

“No,” Bucky answers from beside you. “I’m staying, but thanks.”

“Alright, are you hungry then? I can bring you something.”

“I’m fine,” he answers shortly and you can tell just from his voice that he is so broken, beating himself over what happened. But once again, you are not strong enough to speak and you fall back asleep again.

But the third time you wake up you can actually bring yourself to open your eyes. The bright neon lights are a little blinding, so you need to blink a few times before you get used to them. It takes a couple of seconds to take in your surroundings and then your eyes fall on the sitting form next to your bed.

Bucky is reading a book you gave him a few weeks ago, it’s the first Hunger Games, you thought he would like the story a lot and judging from how far he is in it, he really does. He is so lost between the lines that he doesn’t realize that your eyes opened.

“Bucky?” you call out, your throat feels as dry as a desert and his blue eyes immediately snap at you, putting the book aside as he leans forward to grab your hand gently in his again.

“Hey! You’re awake! How are you feeling?” he asks you, brushing a strand of hair out of your forehead.

“Like shit,” you chuckle, making him smile as well, but his eyes still hold a lot of pain from seeing you like this. “I’m thirsty.”

“Here.” He grabs a bottled water from the bedside table and pours some into a paper cup, helping you drink it and you feel like you were reborn.

“Thanks. What… How long have I been out?” you ask, pushing yourself up a bit so you’re leaning against the headboard.

“A little over a day. Dr. Cho said it could take you a few days to wake up after all the blood you lost.”

Now that he has brought it up, you realize that your thigh is wrapped up, a constant, blunt pain gripping your nerves. You push the white covers off of yourself so you can take a look at the slightly bloody bandages hugging your leg. You already know it will leave a nasty scar on you.

“I should have been there,” Bucky speaks up seeing you eyeing your leg. You look at him shaking your head.

“No. You couldn’t have known and I was the one who told you to go the other way. It wasn’t your fault.”

“But I could have just told you no. I should have.”

“Bucky, stop,” you breathe out, gripping his hand tight in your hold. “You brought me out of there, practically saved my life. If anything I should be thanking you.”

“But I shouldn’t have let it happen in the first pla—“

“Shut up, Sergeant,” you chuckle softly. “I’m still here, aren’t I? Isn’t that all that matters?”

Bucky’s face softens as he stares back at you nodding shortly. He can’t even describe how thankful he is to hear your voice again, the silence in the room was like torture for him, watching you lie on the bed completely still and there was nothing he could do to help you. But now he has you back and this whole fiasco made him realize that he doesn’t have all the time in the world with you.

Your recovery is faster than expected thanks to Helen’s amazing work. Two days after you woke up you are dismissed and you are back in your own room. Bucky has been by your side all along and you had to send him back to his room during the night because he wanted to sleep in that uncomfortable chair again. Eventually you convinced him to get some sleep but he was already in the room when you woke up in the morning. Now that you are out of medical care he is still following you like a little puppy, ready to do anything you need help with.

“You know, I just have to use my clutch for a few more days, but I’m totally fine,” you chuckle when he helps you put your stuff away arriving back to your room while you lie down.

“I know, but I want to help,” he smiles, nodding shortly. “And… I have something for you,” he then adds with a boyish smile.

“A surprise?”

“An ‘I’m glad you didn’t die during mission’ surprise,” he smirks, making you chuckle. He shuffles out of the room and then returns with a baby blue paper bag in his hands. Walking over to the bed he sits to the edge handing the gift to you.

“When did you have time to buy it? You never even left my side,” you ask with a suspicious look.

“Nat helped me a little,” he admits with a nervous chuckle. You dig into the bag and your fingers find a soft material, making you gasp before you could even see the item. You just already know what it is. Pulling out you’re staring at a white dress, similar to the one you wore at the party the two of you met officially. The one he spilled his drink on and promised to buy a new one.

“Bucky, you shouldn’t have,” you breathe out, eyes softening at the man who is now eyeing you with a gentle look, clearly feeling shy and nervous about the gift.

“I don’t know if you remember it but when we were in the jet I told you I still owe you one,” he explains as you lay the fabric across your legs, smoothing your hand over the silky fabric as you smile to yourself.

“I do remember that. Actually, that’s the last thing I remember.”

“I wanted to keep my word,” he mumbles under his breath.

Pushing yourself up from the bed you are about to head into the bathroom when he stops you in panic.

“Where are you going?” he asks, clearly wanting you to return to bed.

“I’m gonna try it on, don’t you want to see me in it?” you ask coyly and you see his cheeks blushing at your question before he just nods shortly.

It’s a little challenging to put it on, but you manage to succeed, walking out with your clutches, bare feet and your hair in a messy ponytail, but still, Bucky’s breath gets caught in his chest when he sees you. Suddenly, you feel self-conscious about the way you look, especially with the ugly bandages on your thigh that peek out from under the dress. Stepping to the mirror next to your dresser you take a look at yourself, expression hardening when you see that the scar will probably be seen from under most of your dresses once it’s healed. You try to tug the dress down a little to hide the bandage, but there’s no use, it’s showing no matter what.

Bucky realizes what you’re doing and stepping closer to you he takes your hand that’s fumbling with the fabric and keeps it between his palms.

“All my previous battle wounds are hidden somewhere, but this one will be on full display,” you whisper sadly, eyes dropping to the floor. Bucky cups your cheek in his hand and makes you look up into his eyes with a soft smile on his lips.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“I know, I just…” you sigh, not even sure what you wanted to say.

“You know, in a way this…” He starts, brushing his fingers through the bandage gently. “This is going to be a reminder for me.”

“A reminder?”

“Yeah,” he nods. “Because I always thought I have all the time in the world with you, but I almost lost you. And I don’t want to waste any more time.”

His hands find your waist, pulling you into his embrace as your palms slide up his arms to the base of his neck. You are both so nervous to be this close without sparring, your heart is beating so fast, he can probably hear it, but he feels the same way.

“If you think of me as just a friend, now might be the best time to tell me,” he whispers with a soft chuckle that makes you smile too. You lean closer, your nose touching his, lips almost brushing against each other.

“You are so much more than that,” you breathe out before he closes the gap between the two of you, kissing you the way he wanted to so many times before.

It’s like the rest of the world stops existing, there’s only you and him, his lips on yours, fingers digging into your waist, flesh and metal ones as well, bunching your dress under his touch as you press up against him, your kisses growing hungrier with each passing moment.

When it’s just about to get a little more heated, someone clears their throat and you are forced to snap back to reality, seeing Steve and Nat standing at the door, watching the two of you grinning widely.

“Just wanted to check on you Y/N to see if you need help with anything, but you clearly have everything you need,” Natasha teases you, making your cheeks heating up as you rest your forehead against Bucky’s shoulder, his arms circling around you tight, hands running up and down your back soothingly.

“Glad to see you finally made your move, Bucky,” Steve nods smirking.

“Alright, alright. The show is over, guys,” Bucky waves them off. Natasha winks at you before leaving the two of you alone.

“We will never hear the end of this,” you growl, your head dropping back, but Bucky just smiles and kisses your forehead sweetly.

“If they keep teasing us we’ll just kick their ass,” he grins making you laugh before you press your lips against his again in a short, chaste kiss.

“Deal.”

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!