#getting blocked for being some crazy weirdo or whatever. i just. it's a big worry i guess is what there is to say

[petrichorvoices]

we finally caught up on WTNV

[disastercomingfaster]

Spilling Secrets (Bechloe Fanfiction)

Alright, so this is my first attempt at a fanfiction in...months, I think. Please go easy on me, I’ve been trying to get over my writer’s block and an awesome user named @lyricalmuse91 recommended I write a fanfiction based on the song “If You Love Her” by Forest Blakk and so I came up with this slightly angsty but also very fluffy fanfiction. Please enjoy! And if it’s not great, my apologies, hopefully this will get me out of my slump. Please know I am open for more requests in the future, just inbox me. 

Take it If she gives you her heart Don't you break it Let your arms be a place She feels safe in She's the best thing that you'll ever have

 “I’m in the room, yet all you can do is stare at your phone?” Chloe’s giggling voice snapped Beca out of the trance she was in.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Beca quickly swiped out of the page she was in and set down her phone.

Chloe grinned and made a grab for Beca’s phone. “What kind of porn were you looking at?” She teased.

Beca grabbed the phone and stood up. “Nope, nope!” She held the phone above her head.

Chloe burst out laughing. “Are you serious Mitchell?” She reached up and easily grabbed Beca’s phone. Beca blushed; Chloe was a good two inches taller. This had been a rookie mistake.

“Chloe, please don’t.” Beca let down her guard and pleaded with the red head.

Chloe looked at Beca in surprise. “What’s wrong?”

“Just please, give me back my phone.” Beca begged. Slowly Chloe handed her the phone.

“Whatever it was, you can tell me.” Chloe reminded her.

Beca sighed and shoved her phone back in her pocket. “Let’s talk about something else, please.”

Chloe sighed. “You always do this.”

“Do what?” Beca asked.

“You’re my best friend, and I feel like I know nothing about you.” Chloe told her. “I’ve told you everything about me, every detail about my life. But I only partially know you.”

“You know what matters.” Beca insisted.

“Do I?” Chloe asked, sitting back on the ground. “Do you not trust me?”

“I don’t trust anyone.” Beca said impulsively.

“I didn’t think I was just anyone.” Chloe snapped.

Beca sighed and sat down next to the red head. She wrapped her arms and pulled her into a hug.

“You’re not just anyone.” Beca assured her. “I’m just…I’m just scared you won’t like what you see. I can’t lose you, Chloe.”

“Have you murdered anyone? Because I think I can handle anything else from you.” Chloe teased.

“Don’t worry, I haven’t killed anyone that mattered.” Beca teased back. Chloe gently smacked the younger girl’s hand and they both laughed.

 She always has trouble Falling asleep And she likes to cuddle While under the sheets She loves Pop songs And dancing, and bad trash TV There's still a few other things

 Beca pulled her keys out of her pocket, doing her best to not fall right asleep at the door. Somehow her group project had underestimated how long it would take to finish up their report. She hadn’t gotten out of the library until nearly midnight.

Beca pulled the front door open, trying to be as quiet as possible, only to be greeted by Chloe in her pajamas.

“Hey bestie.” Chloe waved.

“What the fuck are you doing up, hun?” Beca sighed. “Don’t you have class at seven tomorrow?”

“I couldn’t sleep, so I wanted to watch some Jersey Shore reruns.” Chloe shrugged.

“Again?” Beca asked.

“I mean…” Chloe shrugged. “You know what always helps me fall asleep, right?”

Beca rolled her eyes. “Are you serious?”

“Please, Beca?” Chloe pleaded.

Beca sighed. “Let me put my stuff down in my room and change, I’ll meet you in your room.”

Chloe was already comfortable in bed by the time Beca made it to her room. Beca rolled her eyes. “Move over, weirdo.”

Chloe grinned and made a space in bed for Beca to slide in. Beca wrapped her arms around Chloe.

“Thank you.” Chloe snuggled into Beca.

“I can’t believe you make me do this.” Beca complained.

“Oh, shut up. You love this just as much as I do.” Chloe laughed.

Beca rolled her eyes, but Chloe was partially right. Beca both loved and hated cuddling Chloe until she fell asleep. She hated in for the same reason she loved it.

She was in love with Chloe.

And Chloe had no idea.

 Take it If she gives you her heart Don't you break it Let your arms be a place She feels safe in She's the best thing that you'll ever have She'll love you If you love her

 “So, you two are literally spooning almost nightly, but you can’t tell her you love her?” Jesse laughed and took a sip of his beer.

“I wouldn’t call it spooning.” Beca practically whispered, looking around the bar.

“No, it’s literally spooning.” Jesse said, not bothering to keep his voice down. “You are straight up friendzoned.”

“And you clearly can’t handle alcohol.” Beca said, grabbing his drink out of his hand.

“Hey!” Jesse protested.

“You can get this back when you stop being an asshole.” Beca said. “Which means you will probably never get it back.”

Jesse laughed and grabbed his drink. “Becs, she likes you. She needs you to help her fall asleep. That’s sickening and possibly adorable.”

“Yeah, and what if you’re wrong?” Beca snapped, taking a swig of her beer. “What if you’re wrong and I completely ruin our friendship and make things totally awkward?”

“You’re probably already making things awkward because you’re in love with her and you’re pretending you aren’t.” Jesse pointed out.

“God.” Becca groaned. “I hate it when you have actual points.”

Jesse winked and took another sip of his beer. “Look. Beca. She’s crazy about you. You two are together all the time and she has these desperate-looking googly eyes whenever you’re around. She’s into you. And it’s really gross, to be honest. Go for it, kid. What’s the worst that will happen?” Jesse laughed. “I mean, I told you I was hot for you and here we are getting drunk on a Tuesday night three years later even though you have absolutely no feelings for me.”

“I mean, that is a good point.” Beca admitted.

“Just go for it, Becs. You hold everything in, why not try trusting people every now and then?” Jesse took anther chug of his drink. “How about the next round is on me?”

“Sounds good.” Beca finished her drink. “I think I’m going to need it.”

  Kiss her with passion As much as you can Run your hands through her hair Whenever she's sad And when she doesn't notice How pretty she is Tell her over and over So she never forgets

 “You’re doing that thing again.” Chloe’s voice interrupted Beca’s thoughts.

“What?” Beca asked, locking her phone.

“Beca, something is clearly going on with you.” Chloe insisted.

“Just drop it, Chloe.” Beca insisted, shoving her phone in her pocket.

“We’ve been best friends for over three years. I’ve told you every stupid thing about me but now something is clearly going on that you think I can’t handle hearing about and you’re keeping me in the dark!”

“It’s complicated.” Beca muttered, avoiding eye contact with the red head. To tell Chloe what was going on with her phone could easily lead to Beca sharing she had feelings for the red head which could lead to Chloe never speaking to her again.

“I’m listening.” Chloe said, taking Beca’s hand. Beca bit her lip, trying to control the rush of emotion that went through her.

“I can’t-”

“Beca, if you don’t want to tell me, it’s fine. I just want to make sure my relationship with you works on both sides. It can’t just be me sharing to you, me complaining to you. I want you to feel like you can trust me, hun.”

“Michelle’s pregnant!” Beca burst out.

“Michelle?” Chloe asked. “Who’s Michelle, Becs?”

“She…we dated…we had plans and we were…” Beca sighed. “It doesn’t matter. She moved on…and I mean I guess I should have by now, and I thought I did…it was high school for Christ’s sake…but I mean, we were going to get married and…fuck, I’m pathetic…”

“Beca, you don’t have to judge how you feel.” Chloe squeezed her hand.

“I was crushed years ago and now I’m…I’m this.” Beca laughed.

Chloe laughed. “And what’s wrong with this? I think this is pretty cool.” Chloe squeezed Beca’s hand. They both stared at each other for a moment. “I think ‘this’ is perfect.” Chloe whispered.

Before Beca knew what was happening, Chloe had pressed her lips against Beca’s. Beca immediately pulled Chloe closer.

“You…you wanted…you also…?” Beca sputtered out in-between kisses.  

Chloe pulled away and giggled. “Honestly, this is what I thought you were hiding.”

“I mean, it was.” Beca laughed. “But I thought if I shared anything all my feelings would just pour out.”

“I knew you were just a big softie under all that attitude.” Chloe giggled, giving her a kiss on the forehead.

“Hey! Beca Mitchell is no softie!” Beca laughed and put her lips back to Chloe’s.

“Wait, wait!” Chloe pulled away. “Does that mean you trust me now?”

Beca laughed. “Chloe. I always trusted you. And I was so, so fucking scared if I told you the truth, I would lose you. And I don’t know what the hell I would do without you, Chlo.”

Chloe grinned and kissed Beca. “I’ll make sure you’ll never have to find out.”

 On days when It feels like the whole World might cave in Stand side by side And you'll make it She's the best thing that you'll ever have She'll love you If you love her like that

[dekus-afro-pic]

A freak and a Monster

Satori Tendo x Reader

Warnings : Slight Profanity and Tendo being a cutie patutie. Also, Reader is called a “freak baby” by other classmates.

A/n :: Idk what this is. I just typed whatever came into my mind. Also I didn’t proofread :)

You’ve always known that your appearance was...unique to some people. The way your eyes were slightly larger and your h/c hair was longer than others. You barely uttered a word to your classmates, preferring to keep to yourself.

In primary school, the other kids called you a “freak baby”. How could you not talk? Were you mute? And why were your eyes so big?

The name-calling continued throughout middle school and continued to now. You’re currently a third-year at Shiratorizawa Academy and the setter for the female's volleyball team. In your first year, you met Wakatoshi Ushijima, who was currently the Captain of the Boys Volleyball team. The two of you had almost every class together, so it was no surprise that you two became friends. You helped him with his spikes and blocks in your first year. So naturally, in you guys’ second year, he convinced you to try out for the volleyball team, which you unsurprisingly made.

“Why do people avoid you?” Ushijima asked as you prepared to serve another ball.

“They think I’m a freak baby” you huffed. “Whatever that means”

“Ushijima” a voice blared through the gym.

Before you knew it, a rather tall man appears behind your nonchalant friend. The stranger had big dark red eyes with spiked hair to match. You recognized him as soon as he was standing next to your olive haired friend. He was the middle blocker for the boys' team. You shifted your weight to your right foot nervously.

“Hello Tendo,” your friend greeted the man. “This is Y/N. She’s the setter for the girl's team”

You waved at the stranger as he started to introduce himself.

“I’m Tendo Satori. I’m Ushijima’s best friend” he smiled brightly. “I like your hair. It’s long”

“Thank you. Yours is spikey” you said nervously

Tendo laughed at your nervousness and turned his attention back to your mutual friend. Taking that as a cue to leave, you began to grab your bag.

“Y/n-chan where are you going?” Ushijima asked putting his hand on your shoulder.

“You and Tendo are talking. I didn’t want to be a burden” you mumbled.

“Don’t worry y/n” Tendo smiled as his arms shot up in the air. “A friend of Ushi is a friend of mine.”

And with that being said, the bell indicating that lunch was over rang. You parted ways from your friends and walked to English alone.

“There she goes. Always alone”

“What a freak baby”

You settled down at your desk and sighed. After years of calling you the same name, you’d think that they come up with something more unique.

“Why do they call you a freak baby?” a voice asked behind you, startling you in the process.

“Holy shit” you gasped. You turned to see that it was only Tendo giving you a confused look. “Oh hi Tendo. I didn’t know you were in this class”

“I didn’t know you were in here either. Now about this Freak Baby name. Where’d it come from?” He tilted his head to the side.

He’s adorable.

“It started in primary school. It’s because of my large e/c eyes. I don’t think they can come up with another name” You joked, causing you and Tendo to snicker.

“I don’t think you look like a freak” he smiled with his eyes closed.

You had half of mind to squeeze his cheeks together. But, your thoughts were cut short when your teacher walked in.

—————————

10 minutes before class was over, Tendo slid you a piece of paper. The jagged edges indicate that he tore it off of a sheet of lined paper.

Will you come watch my practice today? I’d love to see your serve against Semi’s

~S. Tendo

You smiled at the letter and gave the redhead a thumbs up without turning to face him. When the final bell rung you gathered your stuff and waited for Tendo in the front of the classroom.

You watched how people eyed the tallboy suspiciously. The same people turned to look at you and laugh. You rolled your eyes and flipped them off behind their backs.

Lousy cunts.

“They used to call me a monster,” He said, taking long strides towards you.

“Now why would they call you a monster? You’re adorable” you cooed. You squish his cheeks together and laughed at his facial expressions.

“The same reason why they call you a freak baby, because of my awesome appearance. Come on. I want to beat Ushi to the gym” he grabbed your hand and dragged you through the hallways of Shiratorizawa.

———————————

“Guys look. I bought a life-sized babydoll” Tendo twirled in front of you. He pranced behind you and put his hand on top of your head. “Just kidding. This is my new best friend Y/N”

The redhead skipped around the gym as the team introduced themselves. He stopped behind Semi and did a little dance.

“This is Semisemi. Our setter” he sang loudly.

“You’re the setter for the girls' team, correct?” Semi asked with a competitive smirk as he shook your hand.

You nodded and pulled your hand away. “Correct” you grimaced. “You want an autograph? Or perhaps you want to witness a flawless serve?”

The ash-blonde haired boy’s eyes widened. The rest of the boys around you were going crazy, running wildly around the gym screaming from the top of their lungs.

“Oh, I like you. I’d like to see that “flawless serve” of yours sometime” the blonde smirked.

The blow of the coach's whistle cut your conversation short. You made your way to the bleachers to watch your newfound friends practice.

Near the end of the boy's practice, a group of girls found their way to the bleachers.

“Look at Ushijima down there he’s so hot”

“He looks mad all the time. Goshiki has my heart”

You rolled your eyes at their gawking. They’re so airheaded it’s hilarious. You ignored them and continued to watch the practice.

“Isn’t that freak baby over there?” One whispered loudly.

“I saw her and that red-headed weirdo hanging out earlier”

You usually would’ve let it slide. But the way the whole group giggled at the mean comment rubbed you the wrong way. You stood up from your seat and walked passed the group with a smirk. “If he’s such a weirdo why are you the ones watching him so closely”

“I’m surprised that you can talk” one with purple hair spoke, “sticking up for your boyfriend are you?”

“Keep talking and I’ll stick something up your a-”

“Y/n” you heard Ushijima’s voice call. You turn around to see him walking towards you. “Your vocabulary is so vulgar”

“Vulgar vocabulary for a vulgar looking creature” one of the girls spoke

“Hey” a new voice blurted “y/n-Chan is not vulgar looking. She is beautiful. You’re vulgar looking” Tendo appeared behind Ushijima with an irritated expression.

The group tripped over each other to get out of the gym. You turned back to Tendo with a shocked face. He just smiled brightly at you and skipped back towards the net.

“Would you like to practice your serves while you're here?” Ushijima asked. You nodded your head and followed him into position. Tendo danced on the other side of the net, preparing to block your serve.

You tossed the ball in the air and took two long strides. Everybody eyes widened at how high you jumped. You hit the ball with a strong force and watched how the boys tried to block the ball. Which they did unsuccessfully.

“Woah” Tendo gasped. He wasn’t even close to blocking the ball. One second it was in the air and the next it was bouncing off of the floor. He twirled in one spot singing “I think I’m in love with a powerful woman”

Your face heated at the statement. You saw Semi smirk grow wider out of the corner of your eye. You flashed him a smile and a peace sign.

“That was good Y/N” Ushijima stated “Remember to time your jumping”

“Yes captain” you salute.

Tendo spun, literally, in front of you. “Would you like to go get ice cream with me”

“Of course Tendo” you smiled.

“It’s a date” The redhead jumped in the air, smiling like a kid on Christmas.

God he’s adorable.

[ourloveisforthelovely]

In Love and Death. Part 7

Harry Potter AU 

Link to chapter 6

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader. Implied Harry Potter x Reader 

Rating: M-minor smut

______

Nice summer heat…

You thought with a smile before running a hand through your sun-drenched hair. Several months had passed with no mentions of Evan. It seemed as if your father had dropped off of the earth. This led to your current situation. You lay back on a beach chair with Regulus beside you. The two of you had snuck off to the Canary Islands for a “break.”

This was the time to go and do it. Tonks was due in a few short weeks and that “crazy” would keep you busy for a while. Moody and Remus thought that it was a little reckless to go sneaking off alone to screw each other on a beach (Moody’s words). Remus suggested taking someone with the two of you but Regulus immediately shot that down.

“I am not taking someone to come watch us, you weirdo.”

Regulus muttered when Madeye suggested it. Moody was genuinely confused as to why it was such a problem to take someone else along. He even suggested Sirius, who automatically shook his head.

“I am NOT about to spend a week of my time watching them hook up multiple times a day. I already have front row seats to the Regulus and Y/n snog fest. I do not want to see more. I already hear how talented Regulus is with his pretty little mouth. You know, I am stopping this conversation”

You giggled at the thought of the way that Regulus was glaring at his brother over that comment.

“What?”

Regulus questioned. His eyes were blocked by black sunglasses as he turned to you. You turned on your side to run your finger down his chest.

“Just thinking about you calling Madeye a weirdo and Sirius being...himself.”

Regulus scoffed.

“I am not about to have some twat come watch us on our private vacation. I could get used to this, you know.”

You had to agree. Sure, it wasn’t possible for the two of you two be alone in some warmed climate vacation spot forever. Both of you were needed much back home to think of selfish wants.

“Love?”

Regulus questioned. He knew that frown well. You were considering his words too closely. He waited a few seconds before reaching out and pulling your body on top of his.

You immediately smiled and leaned down for a kiss.

“This bikini has been teasing me from the moment that you put it on.”

You reached down and gently took Regulus’ sunglasses off to look into the eyes that you loved so much.

“Are you going to do something about it, beautiful boy?”

Regulus slipped his hand between your bodies to push your bikini bottom out of his way. You gasped the moment his index and middle finger slipped inside of you. Regulus sat up enough for you to wrap your arms around his shoulders.

“That's it, baby. Moan for me.”

“Reggie, there are people nearby. They’ll hear.”

Regulus gave you a smirk before curling his fingers. You moaned a little louder. Regulus gently pulled your bottom lip into his mouth as his phone began to ring.

“Damn it!”

Regulus cursed as he quickly fixed your bikini back and reached around for his cell phone. He frowned seeing Sirius’ name.

“Fucking Sirius. I swear he acts worse than a 40-year-old housewife with nothing to do.”

You giggled as he answered. Reaching down you stroked your hand over the bulge in his shorts as Regulus listened to whatever Sirius was saying. Regulus reached down and took your hand in his as his erection started to quickly vanish.

“We’ll be there soon.”

Regulus ended the call before focusing on your confused expression. He understood. You were curious as to why he shoved you away. Regulus never shoved your hands away from him.

“We have to get back. Tonks had the baby.”

Your mouth dropped as you quickly pulled on the loose maxi dress that had been thrown on the ground.

“Why did they just call us? Did all three of them forget how to work a phone?”

Regulus had pulled on his black dress pants and a matching shirt. He was not about to show up to a hospital half-naked.

“I am slightly thankful that they didn’t call. I didn’t want to witness that.”

Regulus didn’t give you time to object before wrapping his arms around you to apparate to the hospital.

Seconds later, Regulus was practically running after you into the hospital. You were on a mission and wasn’t about to slow down. Tonks was your best friend and she needed you! It wasn’t until Remus stepped out of the hospital room did you stop. He smiled.

“Everything is fine.”

“Fine? Did you forget how to work a phone?”

Remus chuckled as he hugged you.

“Things happened rather quickly. You can come in a minute. They are getting things settled. I’m going to get some tea. Sirius is in the waiting room trying to calm himself down. Harry, Ron, and Hermione are in there too.”

You were thrilled to hear that your school friends were in the same building as you. It had been a good bit since you had seen Harry. Despite being in rivaling houses, you had always liked Harry, Ron, and Hermione. There was the little voice in your head that said Harry had always liked you a little more than he let on but was too polite or too scared to say it.

Meanwhile, in the waiting room…

Harry sat beside Sirius, who still hadn’t said more than three words. He kept glancing between his godfather and the doorway. Remus said that you were on his way and Harry was eagerly waiting. He had wanted to see you for some time. Since you had gotten your job as an auror, you weren’t as available to your friends as you once were. The last time that he had actually spoken with you was before you left for a mission in Greece.

He regretted not talking to you sooner. Maybe it was his confusion over who he liked more Cho or you. Being a teenage boy and having two girls that he liked was hard.

The moment that you walked around the corner, Harry was on his feet. You smiled immediately.

“Hi, Harry.”

You said cheerfully before he pulled you into a hug.

“It's good to see you! I haven’t talked to you in ages.”

Harry replied. He was the first to pull away before looking at you. You had, if possible, gotten prettier. What stopped Harry’s attention was a healing love bite. Harry frowned. The last he heard, you were single. Just who were you dating?”

You let go of Harry before turning to hug Hermione and Ron. Harry didn’t have to say anything for Hermione and Ron to see the disappointment on their best friend’s face. It didn’t help that Harry had commented on how he was going to tell you how he felt about you. Now that was shot to hell.

When you stepped backward and wrapped your hand through Regulus’, Harry’s frown intensified.

“This is my boyfriend, Regulus.”

Harry blinked a few times.

“I thought you were dead.”

Regulus shrugged.

“Yeah, other things happened.”

Regulus turned his attention back to Sirius. His brother was pale as a ghost as Regulus fought a laugh. Why Sirius’ current state was so funny...he had no idea.

“Sirius, are you okay?”

Sirius shook his head.

“I saw things that I never want to see again.”

Regulus turned his attention back to you before motioning to a chair. You quickly sat down on Regulus’ lap enjoying what was left of your closeness. Regulus, who had picked up on Harry’s annoyance, decided to play into the other boy’s jealousy. He knew that he had nothing to worry about with Harry but Regulus’ own jealousy and insecurities were beginning to flare. Regulus pulled you into a soft kiss.

Ron leaned over to Harry.

“If they keep on like that then Y/n may be having a baby soon!”

Harry had to look away so he wouldn’t lose his temper. It didn’t help that when Regulus’ hand reached up to touch your face, Harry saw the dark mark on his arm.

“They’re snogging in a hospital.”

Hermione whispered, feeling slightly embarrassed.

You were the first to stop the little snog fest as Remus stepped out and motioned you over.

“Coming, Reggie?”

He shook his head. That room was the last place that he wanted to visit at the moment.

“I’ll be right here, darling.”

You gave him a smile before going to join Remus.

The moment that stepped into the room, Tonks looked up at you with a smile. She was relieved to see you standing there.

“Y/n, I’m so glad to see you.”

You quickly walked to her side and gently kissed Tonks forehead. Wrapping your hand around hers as you sank down into the chair beside the bed.

“Was it horrible, Dora? I’ve been really worried about you...especially since you started getting ill for a second time.”

Tonks shook her head.

“You worry too much. The worst part was the pressure...pushing wasn’t fun but watching Sirius and Remus near panic was hilarious. You would have enjoyed that.”

You smiled.

“I’m sure Regulus would have been panicking too if it were me.”

Tonks laughed. She didn’t foresee Regulus getting too panicky over anything. The boy always seemed to be keeping his cool on most things.

“I think that he would be the one man that would be calm. Now hold your arms out. It's time for you to start working on being a godmother.”

Your eyes showed fear as Tonks put the baby boy in your arms. Sitting motionless for a moment, you looked down at the baby with a smile. You remembered Regulus’ advice of not saying that the baby looked like a potato.

He’s darling…

You thought with a smile as the baby boy opened his big blue eyes. Tonks watched with a smile as your finger stroked his cheek.

“His name is Teddy. I think it's safe to say that Remus is the father.”

You nodded in silent agreement as Tonks sat up a bit more. She wanted to beg you to consider seeing a healer but knew that you wouldn’t hear of it. Tonks couldn’t tell you that she had heard Regulus make a comment to Sirius about “it being regrettable that Y/n and I won’t be able to have a child.”

The moment that Teddy started to cry, Tonks was pulled from her thought and giggled at the expression of terror on your face.

“Dora, what do I do?”

“Hand him, here. You have a lot to learn.”

_______

@fairywriter-oracle

@amelie-black

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@swinginsoulbailiffrascal

@sunles

@hello-love06

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@stuckinsaudi1

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[rainbowcaleb]

impossible magic

fictober prompts: 4 "incantations" mixed with 5 "you are here"

CW: blood, implied torture, imprisonment, chains, disassociation, hurt with a dash of comfort at the end, also mutual pining~

((also available on ao3 if you’d rather read there))

--------

 If he died, there would be no coming back.

 It was a secret Essek kept carefully hidden away. It was the reason behind the argument that pushed his father away to a place he didn’t return. His mother must know. There was nothing that escaped her notice and his father had no love enough for his son to keep his secret. But Essek knew his mother was like himself in one important way; she was a master at compartmentalizing information if it could be used.

Right now Essek didn’t really care about whatever political machinations he had inherited. The tiniest whisper of regret was trickling across his consciousness much like the drops of blood that had finally slowed their flow down his forehead.

He had woken from unconsciousness held strictly in place by manacles and chains. His arms were pulled taut behind him, mere inches of chain holding his wrists down to the shackles on his ankles. Every link, every piece, every ounce of the metal was heavily enchanted to block any magical escape. Even if Essek had any feeling left in his fingers, he wouldn’t be able to cast.

 Sparing no expense, his captors had his neck collared with a thick heavy ring, just tight enough to drag painfully when he tried to swallow. Another enchantment laced through it and he knew if he tried to speak magic it would shock him with lightning. He knew because he had already attempted one desperate incantation. The collar was attached by a short length of chain to the wall behind him, so he wasn’t even able to find relief by lying on the ground without choking himself. He was forced to stay upright, his voice the only boon still left to him, but all his decades of magic rendered useless.

 Essek had long stopped feeling the pain of his legs against the uneven stone floor and he had long lost track of the time. It was more than a week. He had scraped bloody lines on the floor with his knee to keep the time, but after the days kept going and going, he had lost the motivation to bother. No water came. No sustenance. No visitors. But they didn’t want him dead, otherwise he would be already.

 This was calculated torture. They were waiting for him to break. Since his captors had taken the risk of leaving his voice in place, clearly they were hoping for him to give information. Otherwise, why not just slash his throat and be done with him? Perhaps they knew, impossibly somehow they knew Essek only had this current life and to kill him would end the trail of any of his secrets. He could be locked away by an enemy that intimately knew him. And now they were simply waiting. Essek wanted to heroically believe he could last until a rescue came, or perhaps he could overpower his captor, but he knew he was too weak. They had already won when they captured him.

 It was some amorphous time between one week and two when the first visitor came. A bucket of ice cold water was dumped on his head, waking him from a feverish daydream, and he opened his mouth trying to catch whatever drops he still could.

 There was a laugh from some distance a few feet away, male or female he couldn’t tell, and then footsteps receding before the slam of a door.

 It would be another week before another bucket of water. They were doing the bare minimum to keep him alive. They were waiting. They were patient.

 All Essek could do was try and keep his mind. He had lost motivation and strength long ago. If it wasn’t for the collar and chain holding him upright, he would have collapsed many days ago. Essek had to hold grasp onto his mind, the most important part of him, his most powerful part. He could not lose this too. He repeated lines of incantations, imagining their sigils and components in his mind's eye, but being careful not to move his mouth. He did not know if anyone was watching or what they were watching for. He started with the first spell he ever learned, testing his memory too, and then worked through each spell variation until he advanced to its final form. And then he would pick the next simple spell, working through each one like a library in his head, keeping his mind occupied. His whole body had surpassed from pain into nothingness. Essek felt completely detached from anything material around him. All he had was the repetitions of incantations, the words a rhythm in his head that kept his heart beating.

 Another ice cold drench of water. It woke him from a fitful sleep, having dozed off somewhere between reciting dunamantic spells. His body protested, the tension against his shackles friction again as the water trickled down. It was a terrible reminder of where he was.

 He coughed out his first word spoken since he was brought here. “W-who?” Essek didn’t need to know why.

 The voice just laughed again, mirthlessly. He heard the door shut again.

 Even though time had completely slipped from him, Essek had come to expect the water that came in a regular pattern.

 It did not come that week.

 There was something warm and glowing near his legs. His first thought was that perhaps his mental incantations had impossibly broken through the spells on his manacles and a drift globe had materialized. Something small and soft patted his knee. He smelled sulfur. Then there was an earthshaking explosion and the door he assumed was somewhere in this room was knocked down onto the ground. Essek’s eyes were still closed, he barely opened them anymore, but he could still see shocking orange light through his eyelids. Then it dimmed.

 He heard scuffling, metal being dragged, multiple footsteps. Something grazed his face, but it was so light it felt like he imagined it. Essek felt the tension of the chains snap and he toppled sideways, suddenly loose from his bonds. Softness caught him instead of the hard stone floor. The last string of fight that had been forcing him to stay awake snapped.

     Essek woke lying down. It felt like the first time in a decade that his body wasn’t twisted into a terrible position. He opened his eyes. It took more strength than he expected to force his eyelids open. He didn’t bother trying to move his limbs. The pain was greatly dulled, but the exhaustion was filling his bones with lead.

 He didn’t recognize where he was. The whole room emanated a soft amber glow, the walls a plain ocher paint, the floor a polished wood. Essek tilted his gaze as far as he could and he saw a small nightstand beside him, a pitcher of clear water next to a glass, and several emptied potion bottles beside it. He was in a bed. Someone had found him and cured him and tucked him into bed. Essek knew who. As his senses woke up from however long he’s been asleep, he knew. The magic he felt flowing through this entire room told him with certainty. Caleb.

 There was a click and a door opened. Essek didn’t turn his head to look, but several footsteps entered. He saw the familiar blue of Jester lean over him.

 “Oh my gosh we were getting so worried, it's been days, we didn’t know when you would wake up and it’s been kinda crazy having to haul you out and have Caleb recast the Tower and stick you back in and-”

 “J-jester.” Essek’s voice felt tight with under-use.

 “Yes, that’s me!” She gave him a blinding smile. “You remember! You were kinda delirious when we found you, like you didn’t recognize us and were mumbling spells under your breath. You didn’t cast anything though, I don’t think you had anything left in you.”

 Caleb was over her shoulder, looking at Essek with a guarded expression.

 “H-how, there?” Essek asked.

 Caleb finished his thought. “We heard you.”

 He had so many more questions, but his voice wasn’t cooperating. Jester picked up on this.

 “It’s a long story, but I was trying to send you a message about Vess, ‘cause we were gonna do this thing for her but there were some crazy red flags and we thought you might’ve heard something, any anyways your reply was super weird. It was like you were whispering on the other side of a door and it was hard to hear you and it didn't even make any sense. Just a couple words in between some long pauses.”

 “It was a spell. When Jester repeated the words to us, I recognized it as your Echo spell.”

 Essek had no memory of a Message, or doing any magic. The only thing he could imagine was that somehow his repeated incantations had briefly broken through the shackles.

 “Well, whatever it was totally made me worry! It was so random and weird for you to respond like that. And then when I scryed it was like a big blank space and then I got booted out from the vision with a painful shove! It was scary enough that I Messaged our housekeeper, gosh I had almost forgotten we had gotten one but thank goodness we did, and had her go look at your house and there were some weirdo guards posted outside who said you were not to be disturbed. But they were totally unconvincing and weird.”

 He was barely following the story. The drag of sleep was threatening him again, and nothing felt better than the soft bed he was resting in at the moment. Essek tilted his head to look properly up at Caleb. There were bags under his eyes, nothing new, although they looked darker than he last remembered. There was a mostly healed cut across his cheek and the cuffs of his coat looked dusty black with ash.

 “Jester, can you find Caduceus? I think this calls for some tea.”

 “Can’t you get one of the cats to-”

 “Jester.”

 “Okay, fine, fine. I can take a hint.” She winked at Caleb and stepped out the room, closing the door behind her.

 Essek kept his eyes open, trying to take in Caleb’s face as the guarded expression was faltering under the weight of something happening in his thoughts. Caleb’s arm jerked forward, then paused, but he completed his movement to gently brush a lock of hair from Essek’s forehead.

 “I will not ask, because I know the answer will be ‘no I am not okay’.” Caleb gave him a wry smile but then it faded again “We were...We investigated and what we found, or didn’t find that is, was disturbing. So many lies so easily spread, and you-” The hand returned to Essek’s face, the lightest sweep of Caleb’s thumb across his cheek. “We were worried.”

 Maybe he still had a tinge of delirium, but Essek had to ask. “And you?”

 There was the briefest shock in Caleb’s eyes, like he hadn’t expected the question. But Essek had to know. In between the flow of magic words that kept his mind occupied, the daydream (painful, beautiful, impossible) that came to him was the memory of teaching spells to Caleb. Of wanting to teach him more. Of wishing to spend more time with him. Of pursuing that thread of something that seemed to keep pulling them back to each other. He had to know.

 Caleb leaned over and pressed his lips to Essek’s forehead, familiar yet unfamiliar, the touch feeling much more intimate in this position while alone in the room.

 “I was worried.” Caleb’s words were a puff of hot breath across his forehead. Then he straightened back up and pulled his hand away.

 “Caleb-”

 “Do not make me say more.” There was a small smile on his lips, but Caleb’s eyes looked sad.

 “Not now...We-,” Essek was really wishing his throat felt less like glass. “Can we talk later?”

 There was a noise at the door as the handle turned. Caleb didn’t turn to see who it was and instead kept his gaze on Essek.

 “Yes.” He stepped back as Caduceus and Jester walked into the room. “Yes, later.”

 Essek was given another cold potion and warm hands of healing, and then he drifted off into unbothered sleep. Whatever they had given him was preventing any restlessness or dreams. However, Essek still found himself chanting a spell to himself as he sank into sleep; it was the first spell he had taught Caleb, its words as familiar and soothing as that memory itself.

[sisoyyoalgunproblema]

SKAM ESPAÑA SEASON 1 EPISODE 1

Sooo.... Here we go! If you’re wondering what is this crazy girl doing writing these long ass posts about episodes of a TV show that aired a year ago... Well, I explained everything here, I also analysed the Trailer, I know that in the website it looks like the first clip, so if you’re wondering why it doesn’t match, that’s your answer.

This is gonna be full of spoilers for seasons 1 and 2 because it’s impossible for me to watch it and not add all of that baggage, sorry. I’m going to do this clip by clip because I think it’s the most organized way of going about it, although I also thought about doing character by character... If you think it’s better that way, let me know. I’m also going to compare it to the OG and the other remakes and, no, it’s not because I think Skam España is the “superior remake” or whatever people call it, it’s because they are so different in so many ways it’s difficult to compare. 

SKAM ESPAÑA SEASON 1 EPISODE 1 “LAS RARAS DEL INSTITUTO” “THE HIGH SCHOOL WEIRDOS”

CLIP 1 ➡ SUMMER AGAIN

So, after all of that, we get the first clip, with Jorge, Lucas and Eva hanging out on the stairs after a day at the swimming pool, I love that they tease each other, they feel like an amazing group of friends, none of them feels isolated until Eva and Jorge start kissing and Lucas just leaves because no one likes being the third weal.

I really like how they make Lucas feel part of the group, it’s not Eva and Jorge and Jorge and Lucas, it’s Lucas, Eva and Jorge, but Eva and Jorge have sex with each other.

I don’t have too much to say about this clip, it’s a nice introduction to their dynamic, with Jorge always trying to reason with Eva and to reassure her by saying that everything is gonna be OK wile teasing her and making her laugh and Eva being scared and allowing herself to believe Jorge.

CLIP 2  ➡ ALONE

In this clip we get the mandatory slow motion walk of the Ingrid character, Inés in this case, and she at least just looks at Eva, with so much superiority she’d make an elephant feel small, but she doesn’t insult her or show her the finger. What a good way to start the school year!

Here we meet the boy-squad. I love that we get introduced to them in the first season, they all have such a chaotic energy, laughing at Hugo’s bad luck and making plans for the next big party.

I really like how much they actually wanted Eva to go to the concert, and that, if you think about it, they probably got the tickets before her and Jorge started dating, so it’s not that they didn’t tell her but that they didn’t think about her that way, not yet.

I also really like how understanding Eva is about all of this, she doesn’t get mad, she just basically accepts it and encourages Jorge and the boys to go and have fun and not worry about her.

I feel so much for Eva here, it’s really relatable how out of it Eva seems, she knows these boys, they all know her, they like her, but she is not part of the group, she isolates herself and doesn’t participate in the conversation, she tries at the beginning, but she can’t help feeling that these are her boyfriend’s friends, not hers. I love how this clip ends with the boys being loud and blocking her form their little circle without realizing it and with her being quiet and accepting it.

CLIP 3 ➡ THE NEW GIRL

Here we get the introduction of faux-Noora, but it’s not what I love the most about this clip. We get so much information about Amira in the background, people whispering about her because she hasn’t worn the hijab ever before and they think it’s weird. I love that we get this bit of info and that we see what our hacker queen must go through every day.

About Lara I’ll only say how relatable this whole thing is, I have a friend who says that you have to choose carefully who you talk to on the first day of school because you’ll never talk to them again and to be weary of people who come and talk to you on the first day because they’re probably just looking for someone to explain them the dynamics before they find their real place within the school/work environment/whatever.

CLIP 4  ➡ FRIENDS

I love when Skam posts clips like this, just the character in their room, doing absolutely nothing. She is scrolling through Instagram and eating some crackers. Her mom tells her to get off the phone and that she’s going to work. Nothing else happens, Eva wonders if she should follow Lara on Instagram and she doesn’t.

CLIP 5  ➡ AND WHO IS HE?

¡Ay...Viri…! We meet her in this clip, when Lara still seems to be Noora and is being nice and asking Eva how to get to her next class. Viri comes so full of energy, with so many propositions and ideas, she just comes on too strong, bless her soul, she tries too hard to fit in and it shows. We see Cris for the first time here and I love how they state that Viri is new in school and doesn’t know anyone. This is a change from the OG that I didn’t understand until season 2.

And then in comes Alejandro. Can we all just stop a second to appreciate how corny all of this is? The fact that the second Eva says his name is Alejandro, Alejandro by Lady Gaga starts playing? How Lady Gaga says Alejandro the second Viri mouths Alejandro? Like, did they have the song playing on set so that she could nail the timing? How Alejandro looks right at the camera when the song ends? It’s all so amazingly corny and cheesy and right out of one of my daydreams about the moment I’ll meet the love of my life. It’s cringy and gold and I love it.

CLIP 6  ➡ YOU ARE A GRADE A ASSHOLE

I think on the 14th of September of 2018, if you listened closely, you could hear the screams of all the confused and angry fans. I remember how I felt after watching who I KNEW was the Nora equivalent hanging out with Inés, it was devastating, I didn’t know what was gonna happen next, little did I know that with Skam España it’s always better to expect the opposite to what you’re used to.

I love how, here, Eva goes to Inés and tries to apologise, doesn’t ask for things to go back to the way they were, just for forgiveness and admits that she’s made a mistake and is so sorry that she’s hurt her and that it wasn’t her intention to do so. I really like how BRUTAL Inés is. She’s so hurt and has a reason to be so, even though we don’t know what the reason is I think that here we realize so much more than in the OG that it’s Eva’s fault, both because she says so and because she is completely understanding of Inés behaviour.

But, poor baby, she basically just lost the only friend she had in school, then went and tried to fix things with an old friend and finally it all backfired and she’s left alone.

You know what I really like about Skam in general? How they make you understand why characters do what they do, so, even if you don’t agree with their actions, you can’t make them the bad guys of the story, because situations are never black and white. 

CLIP 7  ➡ All for you

Okay, let me just begin by saying that I love how they stablish the girl squad in the background even before we know they are the girl squad, like they are part of the high-school, we see them getting in and out of class, moving around.

Jorge is so sweet. That’s all I have to say, like, the way he notices that Eva is not OK? How he tries to get the truth out of her??? Just heart eyes everywhere, I honestly think he’s the sweetest Jonas of the bunch and Eva is probably up there for being the clingiest Eva, but I love her.

😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

CLIP 8  ➡ End of the year trip!!!

Here we discover Eva’s love for pizza, I can relate. And I love that she’s not mad at Jorge for being out with his friends and, even though she is jealous she is not there, she understands the situation and still tells Jorge to have a good time and means it.

Also here is the first time we see something that’s become sort of a recurrent theme in Skam España, the “I post on Instagram pretending that everything is alright and that I’m having the time of my life when I’m dying inside”.

CLIP 9  ➡ Hungover

So this is a clip that changes with its second viewing, I was so sure Lucas was jealous at Eva because she was kissing Jorge and, don’t get me wrong, I still think that he’s jealous, but more at the fact that they can be out in public and kiss and no-one will bat an eye than at the fact that Eva is kissing the boy he likes.

Also, if you want a sign telling you that you need to get some friends ASAP, sitting alone on a Saturday watching your partner play football, or whatever they play, with their friends as you sit alone on the bleachers eating Cheetos should do the trick.

Oh, and I love Jorge, have I mentioned that? How supporting he is? The way he encourages her and tells her how amazing she is while teasing her and making her laugh is amazing, I’ve never had a relationship like this, but I’m pretty sure being with someone who’s self esteem is as low as Eva’s is right now must not be easy, but he does it with such an ease, he loves her so much he’ll support her through thick and thin and he’ll be by her side for whatever she may need as long as she wants him to.

Also, Eva not being mad that he forgot that they where supposed to hung out together is something I have conflicting feelings about because, OK, you shouldn’t put on a show and scream and all of that, but it was important to her and she doesn’t say anything because she’s afraid that she’ll lose him if she does, she should have made it clear that she was hurt and that it was okay, for this once, but that she hoped it never happened again because she was counting on spending the day with him and now her plans are ruined and that’s not OK.

So I think this clip shows how much Eva depends on Jorge, so much so that she won’t stand up for herself for fear of loosing him, and that’s sad, but also so fucking relatable. And I’m not blaming Jorge here for forgetting it, I’m sure that to him the “I’ll be all yours” comment was just not as important as it was to Eva, he should’ve remembered though, and Eva should’ve shown him he hurt her.

CLIP 10 & 11  ➡ Shitty meeting

That meeting was painful to watch, but can I just state how much I hated Viri during that first season and how much she’s changed and improved, like here she is: “I don’t get you and you don’t follow the society’s way of thinking or acting so you’re weird” and now she’s all: “I don’t get you and you don’t follow the society’s way of thinking or acting, but you’re my friend and I’m here for whatever you need”.

I also love the little hints they drop here and there about Amira and her hijab being a new thing, like how she says she’s planning on buying a burkini and Cris is all like WTF? But then Amira looks at her like saying, are you my friend or what? And Cris is all like, OF FUCKING COURSE AMIRIS FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER, so she ends up supporting her.

And Nora’s introduction, I think it’s amazing, and I was so FUCKING confused on my first viewing, like, girl, she’s literally called Nora so she MUST be Noora, but, then, who the fuck is Lara? Little did we know…

I’ve also noticed how much Amira’s changed, she’s so closed of and defensive in this episode, both clips, like she is not sure whether the girls will accept her or not, so she puts up this wall between them to guard herself and is brutally honest, maybe even cruel. Looking at this clip now feels so weird, because this is not the Amira I know now, the Amira I know is quiet, and loving and caring, and loves to talk about her religion and her culture, and is always ready to help her friends, or to fight for them… It really takes me back to what Skam really is about, loving one another and creating safe spaces where we can grow and become who we are meant to be free of prejudice.

Final thought on this clip, I really, really, really hate Cris’ make up here, like, girl, WE are supposed to be the clowns here, not you.

CLIP 12  ➡ The weirdos

So, Eva and Nora, I love their friendship, the way Nora picks up on the fact that Eva is NOT okay, and asks her if everything is alright a couple of times before she leaves???? Heart eyes everywhere.

Also I’m going to use this to address the criticism about Nora’s introduction, honestly, I don’t remember where I saw it, it was more than a year ago, but it basically said that it was the least gay out of all of them and I’m like, WTF???? People, aren’t you tired of being queer-batted? Because I am, I’m so over queer-batting, and that you’re asking for it is weird. Because, if they are not meant to be anything more than friends, I’m grateful that they don’t have any kind of interaction that could be considered as “gay” (although I don’t really know what a “gay” interaction actually is, I guess I would already have a girlfriend by now if I did, instead of sitting in a coffee shop writing very, very, very long Tumblr posts about things no-one really cares about).

In defence of anyone who likes Noreva, I get it, we are all starved for good wlw representation, and on the original the only thing remotely close we had to that was Noora and Eva’s friendship during the first season, but here we’ve got Cris and Joana, so having Eva and Nora be just best friends is totally fine by me.

The clip ends with a heartbroken Eva watching as Jorge laughs with Inés, I don’t know. I have nothing to say about it, other than the fact that I’m glad I’m no longer 16 and have better communicating skills and higher self seem than Eva, not that I did at 16, I was an absolute mess at 16, still am, in a different way.

Sooo... This took longer than I expected,  if I’ve said anything you don’t agree with, tell me and we’ll chat for a bit😘

[blastthechaos]

Nonexistent - Prologue

>Start Game

New Game >Load Game

>Lincoln Loud

Play Time: 11 years

Last Saved: 5/11/2016

Game Progress: 1%

Life Progress: 5%

Level: 0

Loading...ERROR

Data corrupted

>Lincoln

PLay Time:

Last Saved:

Game Progress:

LIfe Progress:

Level:

Still wanna load?

>Yes No

Game loaded...

In a forest close to royal woods, animals were running around going on with their normal life.

a small white rabbit was going around his business before going back to his home with his family, but then he spotted something, a glowing light.

The rabbit got curious and decided to get close to it.

Lincoln woke up in a hospital bed.

He didn’t remember why exactly he was there, he had vague memories of what happened before, but he still retained his memories, so he guessed it was the event that brough him here that are absent.

The young albino looked around confused by his surroundings, mainly because...everything seemed negative now.

Literally, everything was like it was put through a negative filter.

Everything looked still, as if time itself stopped, no sound or anything, even the rain from outside looked completely still.

Then everything flickered for a bit before returning to normal.

Then he felt a sudden tiredness go through his whole body and a sharp pain through his head, he clutched it with his hand...and was shocked when it was photo negative for a bit before returning to normal.

“Wha?” Was the only response he could muster.

Nothing happened again for a bit, so he decided to ignore it, maybe he was hallucinating...he hoped, though maybe that’s worse...who knows really?

He continued to lay in the bed, he was recovering a bit for headache he received, plus he waited for someone to arrive and explain to him what happened.

He wondered if his family was here, worried about him.

Suddenly a doctor came to the room.

He looked surprised.

“You’re awake” Said the doctor eyeing him.

Lincoln was a bit uncomfortable by this, but shrugged it off.

“Yeah, how long was i out?”

“Well, for some hours”

“That’s good, at least i wasn’t knocked out for a very long time”

“Hn, so it’s everything ok?”

“Besides some headaches, yeah i’m fine”

“Well, we are gonna do you some check ups and then we allow you to go”

“Kay thanks”

“Just one question”

“Yah”

“Who are you?”

Lincoln was weirded out by that, he guessed it could be understandable the doctor may not know who he was, but he guessed his family...or whoever may sended him there, filled the people on who he was.

“Lincoln Loud, why?”

The doctor raised an eyebrow

“Loud eh? That's weird”

“Weird why?”

“Because the people who sended you here were also loud, yet they told me they don't know who you are or where are you from”

…

…

…

Lincoln ran a million of ways to make sense out of the situation.

Was he talking of different people? Did there was another family with the loud last name? Was this a prank?

If this was his family, why would they play a prank like this? Did everyone suddenly gained Luan's sense of humor in her worst days?

He kinda felt it was his family, since the latest memories before waking him in the hospital was with them.

Maybe the doctor was wrong and playing a prank?

He just didn't get it

“Excuse me? Where those people a family of mostly girls with blondes and brunettes with a black haired one”

“Yeah, that was them”

…

Maybe what happened earlier wasn't an hallucination, maybe it had something to do with what was going on right now.

“emmm...ok, I think there might be a misunderstanding or i'm worse than I thought, but I’m part of that family, like, the only son”

“They didn’t mention anything about a son”

“Ok ok” Lincoln was smiling, but it was clear that he looked like he was about to go into a mental breakdown.

“Maybe whatever happened to me affected me more than i thought, i guess, yeah that be it, haha” He was nervous at this point.

He should probably go see his family to make things clear, but he didn’t want to arise suspictions to the doctor.

“So how long will those checks up take?”

“Perhaps a few hours, maybe more, do you have an adult that takes care of you?”

Lincoln had to lie, since whatever it’s going on with his family means there’s a chance they deny being related to him.

“Eh, no”

The doctor gave him a look.

“So you been alone? You don’t look like it”

“Appearances can be deceiving”

The doctor thought about it for a second before seemingly accepting it.

The check ups took some while, since for some reason everything turned photo negative a few times and time slowed down or flat out stopped, then Lincoln would feel tired afterwards, he also had to lie a few times during it to avoid making people in the hospital think he’s crazy.

After leaving, Lincoln gave a good look at himself, the clothes (which are is usual outfit) are a little charred and thorn in places, he should probably find something new to wear soon, he suddenly got the urge of making a change of outfit, for some reason.

He tried wracking his brain to try and remember more about the incident that led him into the hospital.

The last thing he remembered was Lisa and...something.

“Figures she had something to do with this”

He looked at his surroundings and did a few stretchs.

“Well, time to find out what’s going on”

Select a difficulty

-Wanna go for a walk in the park? (Easy)

>-Lincoln's usual life (Normal)

-Strode through hell (Hard) may change stuff in the story and game

HUB:Royal Woods

Now were at the first hub world and what you could call the tutorial level.

Lincoln can move left and right, crouch and look up with the analog stick/D pad depending on your preference, can jump although not very far with the jump button (A/X), throw a two hit combo with the physical attack (spoiler) button (X/SQUARE), block with the block button (R2/RT), accelerate with the dash/boost button (L1/LB), taunt by pressing the analog stick and use items/weapons with the object button (Y/TRIANGLE).

This isn’t all he can do but were getting ahead of ourselves.

At the start you go around exploring Royal Woods, talking to the people who always give you responses in the likes of:

“Who are you? I never see you around here and i’m sure I remember seeing some of your hair color”

“Leave kiddo, i don’t know your game but I can assure you I never saw you in your entire life”

“Never heard of you”

“Nope, haven’t seen you around until now, then again you’re probably such a loser from just looking at you i’ll probably don’t even bother to remember you”

And so and so forth.

This causes Lincoln to panic a bit, as his sprite changes to a more distressed one, though not full out there.

As you check around Royal Woods, you’ll notice some particular structures that can while you can’t do anything with it, they look and feel like they could be interacted with it, if you do Lincoln will react like this.

“...I check this later after i sort this out”

Afterwards you continue to wander around Royal Woods, eventually you’re gonna come to another section of this hub:Franklin Avenue.

Once there you’ll eventually arrive at the loud house.

Lincoln walked into the loud house visibly shaken, at the start he had a hard time believing it but now after having talked to people it just furthered his fears that everyone had forgotten him, still, he needed to see if his family remembered him.

He knocked on the door, he did it a bit hard since the ruckus from inside make it hard to listen to.

He patiently waited until someone opened the door.

It was his sister Lori.

“Hi” He said.

The way she looked him all but confirmed his fears, it wasn’t the look you give to family, even the ones you’re annoyed with.

It was the look you give some stranger you don’t want to deal with.

“Hi...eh, who are you? Never see you around here” She said while eyeing him.

...You could listen to Lincoln’s heart rate going at 700 MPH

“I am...Lincoln, just Lincoln, I was wondering if you had a brother?”

“...No, i don’t have a brother and never had, this family doesn’t have a boy”

...And now you can listen to Lincoln’s heart shattering in a billion pieces.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah I am, why do you care anyways? You weirdo”

“No, no, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, i kinda made a mistake, I’m sorry, I’ll take my leave”

“Yeah, whatever, bye” She closed the door.

…

With no idea of what to do now, Lincoln wanders off.

Meanwhile at the loud house.

“Hey Lori, who was that?” Asked Luna.

“Just some nobody,it’s not big deal”

Level:Royal Woods Forest

At this point it’s dark and still a little rainy, Lincoln is there wandering around with a...defeated look on his face.

“What I’m gonna do now?...Thanks a lot Lisa” He mutters.

“Then again, i’m the idiot who said yes to her...what did she do anyways? I think it had something to do with a machine”

Then he spotted a glowing light on the forest.

“What’s that?”

Then you gotta go check it out.

This is a small stroll, nothing important but just walk forward.

When you arrive you notice that what looks like a energy ball is causing this light.

Lincoln stared at it.

“Should i touch it? What if something bad happens...then again, it’s not like I have stuff to lose anyways”

Once you get close to it you’re given the option to interact with it, once yo do, this happens.

The glowing ball of light rises up and immediately goes inside of Lincoln, making him scream in agony as he becomes a glowing yellow light that soon turns orange.

Then the shining stops and that leaves Lincoln who falls unconscious to the ground, though his white hair now has orange stripes on it.

Now my friend, is when the game starts.

Game Saved...

Lincoln taunts as normal:

"Moron"

"Come and get me"

"What? Scared?"

"Want a piece of me?"

Lincoln idle animations as normal:

Crosses his arms and taps his foot annoyed.

Points to his wrist as if there was a watch there condescendingly.

Starts dancing a little.

Falls asleep while standing up.

Lays on the ground while trying not to fall asleep.

Looks around and up outta boredom.

Stretches a little.

Yawns.

[lady-zombies]

My final thoughts on Rupaul’s Drag Race All Stars 3 HEEENNNYYYYY

Hold on to you’re wigs children, it’s a long ride.

Morgan McMichaels-

I’ll admit it, I thought Morgan was a total bitch and I absolutely did not care for her.

HOWEVER, once she came back, and we got to see the other sides of her, I was like “wow, shame on me for completely and totally misjudging her”

Now I’m low key disappointed that she didn’t get more screen time

I would have loved to really see what she could bring

All in all I’m happy that she was able to get back into the spotlight and earn some hella respect from a whole new fan base ❤️

Thorgy Thor-

I absolutely love me some Thorgy Thor gurllll

I love how crazy and cucky she is, her whole vibe I totally dig it

I just wished she would believe in her self truly

I felt she spent so much time exerting so much energy into jealousy and paranoia that she didn’t really get a chance to shine for her true self.

All in all, I’ll always love me some Thorgy Thor and I can only hope that she’s able to see past her demons and become her best self ❤️❤️

Milk

Ohhh big and Milky gurlllll

I liked milk in her orginal season

I thought she was a weirdo in the best way and just totally misunderstood

That being that, I was a bit disappointed when she came in with her total holier than thou kind of thought process, which I totally called btw

Yes, you got to work with Marc Jacobs but that don’t make you the queen of England honeyyy

Tho on the other hand I think it’s never really a bad thing to be to confident in life

Milks confidence, tho it sometimes makes her head swell, will take her super far in life

Stay big, stay milky

Because honey I’m not lactose intolerant and I want alllll the Milk 🥛 🥛🥛🥛❤️❤️

Just you kno, chill sometimes 🙃

Chi Chi DeVayne-

Chi Chi is a precious baby who deserves to be protected at all cost

I love Chi Chi so much okay

It pained me to see her feel like she wasn’t up to par with the other queens

However i also admire her for her self realization that yeah, maybe she isn’t

But it’s all good baby because she had grown from her original season

And just like a beautiful blooming flower, she’s just gonna keep growing ❤️❤️🌸🌸

Sending any kind of hate her way is like stepping on puppies okay

Aja-

I am so proud of Aja okay

I think for having the smallest amount of time between seasons, she grew absolutely tremendously

I was neutral about her in her original season

But when she came back I was absolutely sold heeennnyyy I love me some Aja now

I truly wish she had been chosen to come back because I felt she had the best track record of the eliminated queens and had the most to offer

I highly expect her career to take off to the stars and I wish her all the best of luck❤️❤️❤️

I literally say “heyyy yo sissss” all the time now, thanks a lot Aja

BenDeLaCreme

Ohhhhh miss BenDeLa !!

I did not expect her to do as well as she did at all tbh

It actually kind shook me cause I was like ohh gurl if she keeps doing well, that means she’s gonna win

And that mean Trixies not gonna win...

I’m usually really good about avoiding spoilers but I totally seen that she was going to eliminate herself

I didn’t want to believe it but when I watched it, it was like I couldn’t really feel it cause it had been spoiled

However I do truly respect her for doing what she did

When it comes to confrontation DeLa is literally me

I hate it so much, it makes my skin crawl

If she wouldn’t have eliminated herself I think it’s obvious she would have won

All in all, DeLa is truly a pure soul in the world and doesn’t have a mean bone in her body. ❤️❤️

Bebe Zahara Benet

I didn’t really know how to feel about Bebe at first tbh

I had watched season 1 once like a long time ago

And honestly I was like okay... when she won

Now that she was back, I do truly see why she was picked to be the very first winner of Drag Race

Everything she does (except maybe choreography😅) she’s great at !

I did think she was a bit divalicious but who wouldn’t be in her position

I also love her love for her home country

It goes so well with her over all “brand” and what’s better than being absolutely proud of where you come from ?

Bebe is an embodiment if that

All in all, great well polished queen

And like she said heennyyy she’ll still always be the ORGINAL Rupaul’s Drag Race winner ❤️❤️❤️

Kennedy Davenport

Kennedy is a grumpy old man who just wants some lovin

I’ll be honest I felt like Kennedy was sort of a Roxy Andrews situation

There were many times where I felt she should have went home

However I can understand the struggles she’s had and in the end yes, I do truly believe she deserved a spot in the top 4

Top 2 ?? Ehhhhh, not at first I’ll be honest

But the more the eliminated queens and Kennedy herself talked about how all the other queens are basically so much more well out than she is, and how she kinda did need the win more than the other girls, the less mad I was

In the end I was like yeah, Kennedy does need this win, and even thou I am a die hard Trixie fan, I would have been absolutely 100% okay with Kennedy winning 🙌

I hope everyone gives her the proper love she deserves at DragCon as well as any other meet and greets

She is truly an amazing dancer, she paints a beautiful mug and she’s the kind of person who will tell you the truth, and the shit you need to hear even tho you don’t wanna hear it, you know what I mean Vern

I admire Kennedy and I wish her the best of luck in her career and life ❤️❤️❤️

Shangela

Like I said before, I am a die hard Trixie Mattel fan, like I would take a bullet for her

However.... I truly truly believe, Shangela was robbed and should have won !

I straight up thought she was gonna win !

You can clock my previous post about where I straight up say I think Shangela is going to win

And she damn well WOULD HAVE DESERVED THAT WIN!!

Shangela is the epiphany of a GLO UP !!!!

I remember the days where she was that kinda ratchet, not so polished, kinda short tempered, says whatever the hell she wants kind of queen and I’ll be honest, I did not care for her like at all

When season 3 came along I was like oh great, this bitch again

And I feel like that was the over all vibe she had in her drag race career

But nowwwww OHHH HONEEEYYY

I fucking love Shangela

I cannot describe how proud of her I truly am (word of the day: truly)

From the first episode when she came in, in her box and her cute little blue dress I was like I gurlll something is different about you in all the best ways

I can’t even describe how amazing her blossoming into a beautiful butterfly has been to experience

Shangela’s Drag is on point af now

She killed just about every challenge

I didn’t expect that

But I love it

I love Shangela

It killed me to see her reaction when she lost

She’s gonna go super far in life and I couldn’t be more excited for her ❤️❤️❤️

TRIXIE MATTEL

So apparently I ran out of text blocks so Trixie’s is going to be one long thing separated by... first of all OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG... I literally fucking cried when she won... I just about had a heart attack when she was pick for the 2nd queen... I really did not think she was going to win... but I couldn’t be happier what she did... Her as3 journey was an emotional roller coaster tbh... I thought this season was going to be kinda like season 2 how it seems like it was made for Alaska... I thought this season was going to be made for Trixie... it really thru me off when she didn’t start off so strong... I also felt bad because she would always talk about how she felt like she was letting her fans down... I wanted to do nothing but shower her with love but I didn’t even realize what kind of pressure was set on her... I was legit worried for a bit that she would be eliminated... and tbh when Ben went home, I was low key relieved because I was like there is now way Trixie is going to win with Ben out her slaying every challenge.... I don’t know what happened when she snapped out of it and finally brought it... but am I sure glad she did... obviously I think Trixie deserved to win, but I can still appreciate her fumbles and reasons on why LOTS of people are mad about it. But seriously, it’s just Drag !!! Just like anything else in the world, shit happens, and then we move on !!! Trixie is my queen, and I don’t know how that happened because all my life I’ve totally despised country music and basically any country folk stuff at all. Opposites attract heeennyyy...CONGRAULATIONS TO MY BOO, couldn’t be more happy and proud of you bb, I can only hope to be able to graze your presence at DragCon this year 💗💗💗💕💖💕💖💖💖💖💖💖💗 on a side note: I am just a simple 20 year old Bisexual girl from Colorado, and I just want to say, never in my life did I ever think that I would be so obsessed with (mostly)men in makeup. Please, please, please don’t send Trixie hate. Don’t send Morgan hate, don’t send Thorgy hate, don’t send Milk hate, don’t send Chi Chi don’t send Morgan hate, don’t send Aja hate, dont send Ben hate, don’t send Bebe hate, don’t send Kennedy hate. Drag race is this beautiful thing where all kinds of people can come together and enjoy and embrace their selves together as one. I love the LGTBQ community and it just absolutely blows my mind how quick things can get so ugly. All these queens make it a note to point out the importance of mental health, and I don’t understand why anyone in their minds would want to go to a specific queens page, be it Twitter, or Instagram or Facebook or whatever, and take time out of their day to write something with such intentions of making someone feel bad. It you have a negative thought about a specific queen, that’s cool, you’re totally obligated to have that, but believe it or not, you won’t explode or anything if you DONT post that rude ass comment. All the queens worked their asses off and it all payed off in different ways. Just be kind to each other people, because at the end of the day, it’s just drag and no matter what everyone’s lives will move on the next day. IDK I GOT KINDA RANTY Okay I’m done

[jae-yoonie]

Smooth - Johnny [4]

Pt 1  Pt 2  Pt 3  Pt 4  Pt 5  Pt 6

Part 4 - He’s Alright

Genre: Fluff, Subtle Angst

Rating PG

(slight language, suggestive content)

Word Count: 2,434

“So where are we going?” you asked looking out the window.

“Somewhere,” he replied secretively.

“Somewhere?”

“Yeah.”

“Why can’t you tell me?”

“Because I want it to be a surprise…”

“Fine,” you sighed.

The rest of the drive was pretty quiet. He would ask some simple questions or make comments every so often, but nothing major enough to spark an actual conversation.

“We’re here,” he finally announced pulling up to a very large and fancy building.

“Whoa, what is this? A museum or something?”

“Pft, no. This is my house,” he boasted.

“Oh…”

“What, not impressed anymore?”

“Meh.”

“Well, I’d have to say, out of all the girls I’ve brought here, you’d be the first.”

“I told you, I’m not like the girls you probably sleep with.”

“Yeah, you’re right. You’re not like them… you’re much better,” he smiled at you as he put the car in park.

You could feel the heat building up in your cheeks as you thought about his comment. I’m better? Maybe he really is sweeter than I thought…

“You’re blushing,” he smirked.

“No…” you replied quietly, looking away.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed about liking me, it’s normal.”

Never mind, not sweet. “I don’t like you… and for the record, I don’t appreciate you making assumptions about me, thanks.”

“Hmph, you’ll admit it one day.”

“In your dreams.”

Johnny quickly helped you out of the car before guiding you into his house. As much as you didn’t want to admit it, his house was pretty nice… okay, really nice; it was honestly breathtaking. It made you wonder how he had so much money… from what Emily said, it didn’t even seem like he had a job.

As you continued to follow him, he led you to a room, which you assumed was his bedroom. It was pretty big but it was very tidy and organized, which you found rather surprising.

Suddenly, a realization hit you. You were supposed to be on a date… so, why were you in his bedroom?

“Uh, Johnny… aren’t we supposed to be going on a date?” you raised an eyebrow at him.

“This is the date…” he replied flashing a confused look at you.

“In your bedroom?! What kind of date is this? Netflix and chill?”

“Uh… yeah… is that wrong?”

“Yes! I thought you said I was different than all of your other hoes…”

“You are different! That’s why I made my room so nice. I tidied everything up, vacuumed, washed the sheets and fixed the bed, I even wiped down the windows and nightstand and tv… I tried to make everything all nice for you…”

Awww, he’s so cute… “O-oh… I mean… that’s nice of you… but uh… Netflix and chill isn’t really a date… that’s for like, a fuck buddy.”

“Well, I was gonna make dinner after too… a late dinner… but I suppose we could have dinner now if you want.”

“Sounds good to me… it’s definitely more of a date than your uh… ‘clean Netflix and chill’ idea.”

“I was trying to impress you! Women like organized men right?”

“Sure…”

“Ugh,” he groaned, clearly flustered.

You let out a little laugh, amused by his frustration. It was kind of cute.

“What are you laughing at?”

“Nothing,” you smiled, attempting to hold back your giggling.

“Okay… well um, I’m gonna go make dinner… You can stay in here if you want or you can check the place out. Make yourself at home, just like don’t break anything.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to break everything,” you teased as he rushed back down the stairs to the kitchen.

“You better not!”

You laughed out loud at Johnny’s comment, the boy now out of sight as you plopped down onto his bed. His room honestly was really tidy and organized, and it was filled with a clean, fresh scent. It was very pleasant to say the least; you could tell that he put a lot of effort into the ‘date’… even though it wasn’t much of a date. For a few minutes, you just sat on the large bed, observing his room. It was pretty simple, nothing crazy other than a really huge closet for all his clothes.

A small digital clock sat on top of his nightstand next to his bed, along with a few Polaroids of him and Emily together. They’re such cute friends, you thought. It honestly made you wonder why they never dated each other.

“Whoa,” you gasped suddenly as your eyes drifted to the side of the room where a large, wooden bookshelf stood; though, it wasn’t the bookshelf that caught your attention. On one of the shelves, a small Polaroid camera sat next to a cardboard box. You’d seen Polaroid cameras before but you’ve never owned one nor used one. They always interested you, but not enough to make you buy one.

“Make yourself at home,” he said, “just don’t break anything.”

I’m sure he won’t mind if I just have a look… as long as I don’t break it, right?

Climbing off of his bed, you made your way towards the bookshelf.

“Shit!” you exclaimed tripping over yourself as you reached for the camera. A loud thump followed, as the box which sat next to the camera fell to the floor.

God dammit, you fucking klutz! you scolded yourself.

“Y/n?! Is everything okay?” Johnny came running up the stairs.

“Yeah! Everything’s good!” you rushed out of the room quickly blocking him from entering and seeing the mess you made. “I just uh, tripped when I was climbing off the bed is all, nothing to worry about.

“You fell?!” he burst out in laughter. “I know my house is nice and all but don’t kill yourself over it!”

“Shut up!” you yelled, giving him a little shove, making him step backward.

“I’m just kidding, calm down,” he continued laughing as he backed up just a bit further. “Well I gotta go back and finish cooking. It’ll be done soon.”

Turning around, he headed back downstairs. As soon as he was out of sight, you quickly ran back into the room to clean up whatever it was you knocked down. You didn’t get a good look at what it was earlier, but you nearly screamed when you finally did.

Oh my god, Johnny…

The box was filled with sex toys, condoms, and a few tubes of lube and lotion that were now scattered on the floor. You puked in your mouth a little at the thought of having to touch them, but you knew you had to… you couldn’t just leave them there.

Hesitantly, you approached the pile of sex items, crouching down to pick them up. You cringed as you pinched each one with only your index and thumb, attempting to make as little contact as possible.

Fml, I could’ve lived my whole life not knowing he had these… even more so, having to touch them!

Finally after a long five or so minutes of cautiously putting everything back in its rightful place, you rushed to the bathroom to wash your hands.

Well that was absolutely wonderful! you thought to yourself sarcastically as you finished rinsing your hands off.

Just as you stepped out, you were startled by Johnny who had unexpectedly reappeared in the room.

“Well, you’re jumpy aren’t you?” he chuckled.

“Jumpy? No, why would I be jumpy? I didn’t do anything!”

“I didn’t say you did anything,” he smiled raising an eyebrow. “Did you break something?”

“No! I didn’t, honestly!” you quickly protested.

“Okay, okay, calm down,” he laughed. “It’s not really a big deal if you did break anything though, it’s not like you broke my whole house.”

“I didn’t break anything!”

“Okay! Geez! Well, anyways, I came up here to tell you dinner is ready.”

“Wow this is really good,” you nodded as you chewed your food.

“Were you expecting it to be bad?”

“Well no, but you definitely don’t look like the cooking type.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard that one before… from a friend of mine.”

“Emily, I’m assuming?”

“Y-you know Emily?”

“Yeah, childhood friends. Knew her since like first grade. Never saw her all through high school though, because she moved away. I ran into her earlier today though, so we talked a bit and caught up. She told me about you too.”

“She did?! What did she say?” his eyes widened.

“Oh just everything,” you teased, a grin spreading across your face.

“Oh god no…”

“I’m just kidding,” you laughed. “She just told me in general about your friendship with her in high school… how you guys met and stuff.”

“Aw man! Why’d she tell you about when we met, that’s when I was a weirdo dork.”

“Well, to be honest, I think I like weirdo dork Johnny better than this fuck boy Johnny.”

“Ouch. I prefer ‘ladies’ man’ but sure, I guess ‘fuck boy’ works too.”

“You know you only bring home women to fuck, Johnny. Let’s be honest.”

“Not always. I’ve made exceptions… well an exception.”

“‘An ‘exception’? Really? And what would that be?”

“You.”

“Me?! Pft,” you scoffed. He has got to be joking, right? “Were you not just planning to bang me like… thirty or something minutes ago?”

“Well, not really. I wasn’t planning on it… but I mean, I was definitely hoping for it. Okay, I was pretty confident I’d be nice enough to be able to convince you, but honestly if you didn’t give in I was gonna just continue with the movie or whatever. It wouldn’t change my feelings for you or anything.”

You paused for a moment at his response. Was he serious? He probably says this to every girl he brings home… right?

“See… you wanted to do it… ”

“Well, duh, who wouldn’t wanna have sex with a beautiful girl like you? But I’m honestly telling you, that wasn’t my primary focus. I wanted to have this date to spend time with you, get to know you, and I was hoping after tonight… I’d make a good enough impression for you to give me a chance… a real chance at being with you.”

You wanted to think he was joking but the look on his face said otherwise. His expression was serious, but the underlying emotion in his face was apparent. He genuinely seemed like he was speaking from his heart. You honestly didn’t know whether you should believe him or not… everything he was saying just seemed so… out of character, so unlike him.

I’ve only known him for a day… maybe this really is his true self, the Johnny that Emily knows and loves. Maybe…

You didn’t really know what to say at that moment, so you kept quiet. You could tell he was expecting you to say something, but you just went back to eating the food in front of you. As soon as you finished, you grabbed your purse and stood up from the table.

“Johnny… thanks for dinner. I should really uh, head home now though, it’s getting late. Could you drop me off?”

“O-oh yeah, alright. Let’s go.”

A look of disappointment washed over his features as you walked back out to his car. You couldn’t blame him; you knew he wanted some sort of confirmation, but you gave him none.

The whole trip to your house was quiet. You could tell he didn’t want to talk, so you didn’t bother; you didn’t want to get him more upset that he already was.

Finally, he pulled up to your house putting the car in park. As he waited for you to go out, he sat still, no eye contact, and he didn’t say a single word.

“Walk me out?” you said breaking the silence.

“Oh, uh yeah, sure,” he replied slightly startled. Turning the engine off, he removed the keys from the ignition and climbed out of the driver’s seat. He met you on the sidewalk in front of your house, walking you to the front door.

“Well, I hope you had fun tonight,” Johnny sighed. Turning around, he started heading back to his car.

“Johnny, wait…” you called, chasing after him. Just as he turned around, you ran into him, your arms wrapping tightly around his torso, your face buried in his chest. You felt him gasp at the sudden act of intimacy, taking him a few moments before he returned your favor. “Thanks for tonight, Johnny. I know it wasn’t what you planned or as long as you planned, but I really did enjoy having dinner with you. The reason I cut the date short was because after I heard what you said, I needed time to sit and think. I needed to figure out how I felt and what I wanted… and actually, our silent ride gave me plenty of thinking time. Originally, I wanted this to be a ‘one and done’ type of date, but after tonight, I’ve decided that… I’d um, really like to go on a date with you again sometime.”

You could see the shock on his face when you looked back up at him. He looked like he wanted to speak, but he was at a total loss for words.

“R-really?” was all he managed to say.

You nodded, a warm smile forming onto your lips, causing his shocked expression to quickly turn into one of relief.

“Just let me know when you’re free to go out again. I’ll definitely make time in my schedule for you.”

He let out a small laugh, his eyes darting to the ground then back at you.

“I will.”

“Just make sure you have a real date planned out next time…”

“Oh yeah, for sure.”

“Alright, goodnight, Johnny.”

Suddenly, you felt like your heart was going to burst out of your chest feeling soft lips pressed against yours, one of hand on the side of your neck while the other crept down to your waist. The feeling you experienced at that moment was unlike any you’ve ever felt before, not even with your ex. You were almost sad when he pulled away; you didn’t want it to end.

“You’ll have to wait until next time if you want more,” he smirked.

You could feel the redness in your cheeks, embarrassed that he could read your feelings so effortlessly.

“Goodnight, y/n. I knew I’d break you sooner or later.”

“I hate you.”

“Sure you do,” he chuckled before heading back to his car.

What a cocky bastard, you sighed walking back to your front door.

But… he’s alright. 

Pt 1  Pt 2  Pt 3  Pt 4  Pt 5  Pt 6

[aloneandunreal]

october 8, 20

oh wow, i haven’t posted in here in AWHILE. i know i said i’d post after i started school or whatever, but i forgot and got busy and i guess didn’t have the time to really write anything. but i think i want to kind of... talk about something now i guess? just to get it out. obviously i could talk to my friends or rant on the internet, but i don’t know, i just feel like i’m probably being dramatic and annoying. plus all of this took place in the past, so why am i still so pressed about it? but before i get into that, i guess i’ll speak a bit about how school is going and my insecurities (as usual).

welp, school started and it’s interesting to say the least, especially considering it’s online. i’ve gotten used to it, but getting called on in class is always really awkward and so are the damn breakout rooms... god, my heart sinks when i have to do that stuff. the other day in my english class i had to present a video i made about myself to the class and man, that was so nervewracking. in my head it felt like a life or death situation. speaking of english, it’s been kind of... tough i guess? i mean, not really, i just don’t know how to feel about the teacher. honestly none of my teachers have stuck out and i haven’t stuck out to them (i never do). i’m taking my first AP class, AP psych which has made me insecure. i’ve wanted to major in this since last year but had never taken classes because i had decided too late. anyway, i just found it interesting. so, i decided to take the classes this year, to see if this is really what i wanted to major in for college. it is interesting, yes, but i also feel kind of dumb in the class. it’s a big fast-paced (as expected for AP) but i just feel like i’m not retaining any of the information. my teacher teaches us like 50 new vocab words every day and it’s just... ugh. especially when he gives out quizzes (that i get mixed scores on... usually B’s or C’s). whenever i get a “bad” grade, i get really upset about it because this is what i want to major in! how the hell am i going to major in this subject if i can’t even have a good grade in the class or on assignments? sometimes i think i know what’s going on, but then the quizzes come along and it’s just...ugh. it makes me feel real bad, that’s all. i feel too dumb for this major. i wish i hadn’t decided so late what i wanted to do. and i had such high hopes for it, i wanted to get my phd and everything... yet have a B in a high school psych class. most of it is memorization, okay, but i’m TERRIBLE at memorization type things. i’m trying really hard in this class and i don’t know if it’s paying off or not. i still find it interesting and am still going to pick it as my major, but this AP class is just making me wonder, what if i’m not good at this at all? but at the same time i don’t want to pick something else to major in.... first of all i don’t even KNOW what i’d major in! there’s no second option! anyway, yeah, i’m just really insecure and sad about it. my grade in the class fluctuates a lot, but normally it’s a high B. which isn’t a bad grade per-se, but at the same time, how am i gonna major in this if i have a B? that means i’m not that good at it, right? i don’t even know. sometimes i wonder if it’s because of this situation (online learning) and/or my teacher’s style of teaching but honestly i’m just going to blame it on myself. i don’t know if i’m smart enough for it. but after all of this talk about majoring in psych, getting a phd, etc, i don’t want to throw that all away now. as i said, i still want to major in it, and of course find it interesting. the only question is: am i good enough??

other than that, my classes have been fine. i’m taking french 3 honors which has been... ok. it’s a little nerve-wracking because she makes us talk in french a lot and the class is kinda confusing but i think i’ll be ok. she’s a new-ish teacher, replacing my old french teacher who moved a couple years ago, and she seems nice but i don’t know if she’s the best teacher. everyone else in the class seems confused too so... i definitely don’t think it’s just me. then i’m taking sociology which is really interesting and i like the teacher - probably one of my favorites - though i kind of have something against her now because she’s forcing us to speak in class now FOR A GRADE. hopefully she changes her mind. then i have probability and statistics which has been ok so far. my teacher is really nice and the stuff we’ve been doing has been alright so far. a bit hard, but not insanely hard. 

anyway, that’s how my senior year is going. not the worst, but not the best either. i wonder what things would be like if everything was normal... it’d be way different. it’s weird how i’m starting to forget how things used to be. this quarantine stuff used to be weird, but now it’s turning into the norm, whereas my “old” life before all of this is starting to become distant. i don’t know how to feel about that. i’ve talked about this in previous entries but i still want to live that indie-film teen dream... it’s not happening, though, even after all of these years i’ve been in HS. definitely won’t happen this year with all that’s gone on. but aside from that, i’ve been definitely stressed about college and all of that stuff. i’m really anxious to go and don’t know what to expect. well, first of all i need to get INTO schools which is a whole other thing. i’m working on it, but it’s really overwhelming (the common app). i really wish i could have finished my junior year and things were normal, because then all this college stuff would be done (or at least most of it). i still need to do my SAT - which first of all i probably won’t even include in my application to schools because it’s optional, but my mom still wants me to take it. other than all of this crazy “applying to schools” stuff, i also am of course insanely nervous about college. i’ve probably talked about this in previous entries, but i guess i’ll mention it again. i’m not AS worried about the academic stuff (well, still am) but not as much as the SOCIAL stuff. i’m HORRIBLE at socializing, and it makes me SO anxious. i can’t do normal people things, so how the hell am i going to go to college? let alone if i will even be GOING.. who knows what corona will be like around this time next september. ugh. it’s just really stressful all of this college stuff..... i don’t know if i’m ready, but at the same time i WANT to go. i don’t even know. 

anyway, that’s all that’s going on with school right now. i’ve had some really, really bad days the past couple of weeks which hasn’t happened in AWHILE. obviously i have bad thoughts, but lately it’s just been real bad. i’m okay now, though. 

this is already long enough, but now i’m going to finally talk about what i originally came onto tumblr for. as i’ve said, there’s likely no one reading this, and this is just for ME to read in the future. ok, anyway, yadda yadda, here we go on another big rant (what’s new).

i became friends with this girl... we’ll call her angel, in 6th grade i guess. we didn’t really become “friends” until 7th grade but 6th grade was when we met. she was a bit of a weirdo, and was particularly obsessed with this one girl who obviously found this creepy. angel would always obsess over this girl, calling her so pretty, always wanting to be with her etc etc. angel and i were kind-of friends i guess, as well as with my best friend at the time. an average friendship. 

seventh grade was where things really picked up, i guess. i don’t exactly remember when; but it was probably because we had a lot of classes together. i don’t exactly remember when we started talking, but we did. she was a bit weird but i was just happy to have a friend at the time, i was feeling very lonely and unwanted. she had been dealing with mental health issues a lot and it was obvious because she told me. even in 6th grade i remember she’d wear a huge hoodie on the hottest of days to hide her self-harm. anyway, she was really not doing well. i remember one day she said she saw this post online that said to draw different colors on your wrist to show what you struggled with or whatever (eating disorder, depression, etc) and she put the colors for almost all of them. she glorified mental illness a lot and it was obvious. we were in 7th grade, though, so i don’t really hold that against her because i likely was doing the same thing. what i don’t condone (at least now) is the other things she did. 

first, it started off a little creepy but nothing that totally freaked me out. she’d call me pretty all the time, tell me she wanted to look like me, be as thin as me (keep in mind i thought i was fat and definitely was on the verge of an ED as well, if i didn’t already have one), have the same hair as me, etc. it was nice getting that attention since i was so insecure, but then all of a sudden she’d begin to insult me. “your nose is big”, “your chin is long” and she’d also roughly  touch me; pinch my cheeks hard and would touch the “fat” on my body to i guess make me feel bad? to make herself feel better? it was of course a jealousy thing. anyway, this made me feel real bad about myself since i already was dealing with insecurities. but then she’d go right back and start complimenting me again. it depended on the day i suppose. i don’t know if this really happened since i blocked this out of my mind, but i remember she pinched me so hard she left marks. she’d play it off as a joke and i’d just let her. 

angel joined me and my best friend at the time at recess sometimes, and she’d also call my friend “skinny” and “so pretty” and how she could be a model. basically the same stuff she told me. my friend wasn’t as bothered by it. anywho, angel and i became better “friends”. she’d text me literally 24/7, and sometimes i’d have to lie to her to get her off my back. she’d force me to go on facetime with her for hours even if i didn’t feel like it, etc etc. i stayed friends with her because i was lonely and “she wasn’t always bad!” i’d think to myself. my parents didn’t really like her and when they found out she self-harmed, they really did not want me being friends with her. my dad called her a “slicer”. i know he didn’t mean any harm, and was only looking out for me, hoping i didn’t do the same thing, but it still made me angry. angel was my friend. still, i listened to my parents and began ignoring angel; it was the only way i could get her to stay away. or at least that’s what i thought. she would harrass me all the time, begging me to talk to her again. i would just not answer, or if we were at school, look at the floor and not say a word. it made me feel awful. and then something happened that truly was a disgusting thing to do. she came over to me one day, and begged me to be her friend again. i kept my head down. then when nobody was looking, she raised her sleeves to show her scars, and said “if you keep ignoring me, i’ll cut myself”. i didn’t know what to do, so i didn’t do anything. i was terrified. i didn’t want her to do that. but she wouldn’t, right? it was just a tactic to get me back. well, i was wrong. i remember she came back the next day and showed me her fresh wounds and i felt awful. it was all my fault that she did that. so, i began talking to her again. i guess because i didn’t want her to do that again. looking back, that’s horrendous and disgusting. but i was naive. always was. 

so angel and i were friends again i guess. she hogged me from my other friends, but thankfully i’d push back a little bit and hang with my other friends. there were other smaller instances, but things that still impact me, such as when she told me i had a big nose and a long chin. yep, now those two things are huge insecurities of mine. not blaming it on her, of course not, but it was definitely a factor. 

as i mentioned, i was really not happy with my body and myself. i hated my body. thought i was so fat, at 108 pounds. so i’d starve myself at lunch. it was the only time i could successfully do it. angel saw me doing this one day, and got really upset with me for whatever reason (even though she had an eating disorder as well). i never understood why she did/said this, but she told me that if i kept on doing this, she was going to tell the guidance counselor (that i was starving myself). this freaked me out, because i didn’t want my parents to know. i kept doing it, praying that she’d forget, which she did. 

there was another time when we were walking in the hall one time, and i mentioned that i was in an enriched english class. now, keep in mind, i’ve been called dumb and looked down upon my whole life. so this wasn’t anything new. still hurt, though. anyway, basically i told her i was in an enriched class and she looked at me like i was crazy, “no you’re not” she said and laughed, “prove it” i got really flustered, because i WASN’T lying. so i proved it to her by asking the teacher if i was in her enriched class to which she confusingly said yes to. angel was surprised i guess. these small instances still make me feel bad about myself to this day. something so small can truly impact you.

other than that, i can’t remember much. i blocked a lot of it out except for those things. i shoved it in the back of mind, telling myself it wasn’t a big deal. for years. after seventh grade we drifted apart but were still mutuals. and still are to this day. i don’t have anything against her.. i guess not. but she truly was a terrible person, and i pray to god she’s changed. of course she wasn’t in the right mindset, but that doesn’t excuse her doing those god awful things to me (and other people as well). i never realized in 6th grade that, like the girl she was obsessed with then, i would be the new obsession. a lot of it adds up now, the way she’d compliment me and then put me down. all jealous, manipualtive things. she was of course a weirdo to everyone, but i was friends with her because i was naive and nice and alone. i think she has friends now, and nobody thinks she’s as weird as they used to. i don’t really know what’s up with her now. i don’t hold anything against her... but should i? i don’t even know. anyway, the only reason i’m speaking about this is because i needed to get it out for once. but i felt too uncomfortable telling a friend. plus, i feel like i’d just be dramatic and should just get over it - this was five years ago. i don’t know if i ever will, though. i just can’t help but think about the things she did and how i would STILL so easily fall for something like that again. which is sad after all of the toxic friendships i’ve had throughout the years. 

either way, that’s the end of angel. there’s probably things i could speak about concerning her, but i either forget or just don’t think it’s worth mentioning. we were twelve and thirteen, and i still wonder if i’m just being dramatic. we were just kids. she didn’t know what she was doing. but did she? either way, angel was sick in the head. she probably forgets all of this, or blocks it out of her mind, maybe even makes it seem like she’s the victim. i don’t know. i just wanted to get that out.

of course throughout the years there’s been a bunch of toxic friendships i’ve been apart of, or just people who have taken advantage of me. but that would make this terribly long. and it already IS terribly long. 

but, i am now thinking, why do i glorify seventh grade so much? i always miss it so much, but once i truly think about it, it was an awful year. my anxiety was insanely bad, i was starving myself, i hardly had friends, my “best friend” was toxic (and of course i stayed with her), was getting groomed that summer (before & during 8th grade), was s*xually harrassed by a boy at my school (which is a whole other thing), angel was obsessed with me, etc. so i don’t know why i make it seem better than it actually was. but i still miss it, god i hate myself for that. why? why do i miss all of the terrible times in my life? i’ll never understand why. i know i sound like i’m overexaggerating, but i’m not. all of these things have happened. why would i lie? it’s not like there’s anyone else reading this. i just need to let it out somewhere, which is why i’m doing it here. some day i want to speak about the boy in 7th grade who s*xually harrassed me, but it definitely makes me very uncomfortable and ashamed. i’m going to need to let it out some day, though. i’ve never told anyone except for my mother, but there’s nothing we can do about it now. boys will be boys, right? it was five years ago, anyway. but i’ll speak of that in another entry (perhaps). i know nobody is reading this but i hope, if anyone does, they don’t think this is an attention thing. everything i write here is true. it’s for me, but of course i’m posting it online in public so anyone can see it. 

so, anyway, i suppose i’ll end it here. that’s all about angel and about what’s going on currently in my life. i don’t know when i’ll write next, but goodbye for now. i hope things get a bit better; with the world, with myself. so, future ava, if you’re reading this, are things better now?

[90simaginesandfanfics]

Ok first of all: thank you for doing this here

You looked in the mirror as you left your apartment, trying to ignore what stared back. You were supposed to meet up with your friend Lacey at a club tonight for a Soundgarden concert, but you really weren't in the mood. It wasn't that you didn't want to see the show, as you had been listening to the Louder Than Love album for months, and were ecstatic to get tickets. It was just that you felt like everyone would stare at you as soon as you would walk in. You were 5"11, and everyone else in the whole of Seattle seemed to be a foot shorter than you. Everyone would always make a comment like, "how's the weather up there," and "Don't you play basketball". In fact, during high school, you had been given the nickname giraffe by some of the girls in your grade. The name had stuck and you had never been able to get rid of it. Even when you bumped into someone you used to go to high school with, they would refer to you as giraffe, not even knowing your real name. All of your friends were short and petite, which is what every guy in the country seemed to want. Whenever they would go anywhere, you would be shunned while your friends got hit on. You knew you weren't unattractive, and were a genuine human, who people seemed to like, but any time you started talking to a guy they would just get intimidated. You felt like Bambi, whereas all your friends were comfortable being sexy, cause they didn't have the extra limb length to worry about. Regardless of how you felt, you made your way to the club anyway, hoping to see your favourite band for the first time.When you arrived, Lacey was waiting out front in a tight black dress. You leaned down to hug her and you both made your way inside. As soon as you walked in, guys turned there heads towards Lacey and looked her up and down hungrily, some even wolf whistling. It was clear that they didn't pay any attention to you, which made you feel worse.You had been at the bar for 20 minutes when the lights went down and someone introduced Soundgarden, with people screaming like crazy to see the band."Let's go to the front." Lacey screamed at you, dragging you towards the stage. You felt uncomfortable being so crammed together with people, and didn't feel like you belonged with everyone who was having a good time and moving about. The sound of drums and a shrill guitar made you pay attention to who was on stage."YEAH, I KNOW WHAT TO DO.." Came the high pitched scream from the stage. You looked up and saw Chris Cornell standing near the front of the stage, in long black shorts and Doc Martens, without a shirt (which was very distracting) and swinging his long hair about while headbanging. You recognised the song as Big Dumb Sex, making you blush knowing that such a hot guy was the voice behind it."DON'T YOU, DON'T YOU WANT TO THRILL ME?" you looked up from his abs, which you had been staring at way too long, and looked towards his perfect face, carved by the Gods. It wasn't until you made your way up to his crystal blue eyes, however, did you realise that he was looking directly at you. Your mouth opened a little in shock, wondering if you were dreaming it and he was actually looking at Lacey. A confused expression came across your face and in reponse, between a line of the song, he smiled and winked at you. You nearly fainted. "YEAH, I,I,I, KNOW WHAT TO DO," he looks directly into your eyes again, "I'M GONNA FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU."Soon the concert finished, with the guys giving an amazing performance of Loud Love, in which Chris made eye contact with you again. Even though you thought it was too good to be true, you jokingly told yourself that he must have been looking at you, as none of the other girls were you're height, so he couldn't have made eye contact with anyone else.You and Lacey made your way to the bar after it finished, and you sat there, watching every guy in the room try to hit on your friend. Until a guy came over to you both."Hey girls, you wanna come backstage?" You looked at him completely confused. Why would someone randomly offer to take you backstage without passes, especially when there are tonnes of other people in the club. He could be a murderer who's going to lead you to your death. You were just about to say no when Lacey turned to the man."Hell fucking yes!" She jumped off her stool and started following the man. You didn't want her to go with him alone in case he did hurt her, so you silently followed. Luckily, he actually did take you both backstage. You stood in a corner of the room, still feeling uncomfortable even though you were standing in a room full of well-known musicians. You think you even briefly saw Stone Gossard of Mother Love Bone before the room got really crowded, blocking any view you may have had. After another thirty minutes, you made your way to the mini bar in the room, pouring yourself a coke with rum. You just about put the rum bottle down when you felt someone poke your back. You turned around quickly, ready to throw your drink at whoever had violated your personal space, when you were met head on with a mass of darks curls and a white toothy smile."Hey." It took you a few seconds to process that Chris Cornell from Soundgarden was standing in front of you, and had just poked you in the back. You felt guilty for even thinking of throwing your drink at him."How are you doing on this fine evening m'lady." He said after you didn't respond straight away, in what she assumed to be an English accent . You nodded your head and smiled at him, trying to gain the courage to say something that wasn't completely idiotic."Very good, my kind sir." Immediately after the words had left your mouth, you regretted them. You sounded like a complete weirdo. But what surprised you was when his face lite up with an even bigger smile than he already had on. He laughed gently."You have a better British accent than me. God, now I feel inferior." He crossed his arms, pretending to sulk over what had just happened, and all she could do in response was let out a loud laugh. He laughed in return."I would offer to get you a drink, but you've already done that yourself, so how about we go and sit down cause I've been stomping around all night and my feet are tired." You accepted his offer with a nod, and you made your way over to a sofa pushed against the back wall of the room, which was away from the rest of the party. As you made your way over, you noticed Lacey looking at you both in shock, and a glare passed her face as she looked at you. Whatever the reason for that, most likely jealousy, you were determined to ignore it, and have a good time with Chris. You both sat down on the sofa and started talking about yourselves and your interests, talking about anything and everything in between. You were having such a good time, you didn't even notice that the room wasn't as busy as it was before, and that Lacey had left without you. You were currently talking about how big a fan you were of his music."Trust me, Hands All Over was perfect, there was nothing you could have added at all." You reassured him after he said he thought the song was a bit unpolished."Really?""Yeah, I wouldn't lie to you about it at all since I'm a major Soundgarden fan.""Well I'm a major fan of you." You looked into his eyes as he said this and blushed in embarrassment."I'd like to see you again, if you don't mind?" He asked suddenly, making your heart flutter. You nodded laughing a little, and wrote your number on a small piece of paper. You handed it to him."I better be going now anyway.""I'll give you a call, maybe we could go for dinner somewhere tomorrow?" He asked you, making butterflies appear in your stomach."Definitely." You went to get up off of the couch, but decided to be bold for once, and leaned over to kiss his cheek. You then got off the sofa and made your way to the door, turning back to see Chris with a dazed grin on his face. You closed the door and left the club, knowing that you'd finally met someone who could be a giraffe with you.*****Hope you like it. I really loved writing this. Send me some more requests as I enjoy these oneshots.

[thirstyfortom]

High School Band AU: Chapter 6

Hope you like this! ^^

“Hey, bro, come here! MC was about to tell me about her first kiss!”

“What… what?”

“What the hell?” Saeran asks, joining you and Saeyoung at the cafeteria table.

“He’s not… he’s not talking serious right now…” you say, trying to avoid both twin’s gaze.

“So you’ve kissed before?” Saeran asks, and it doesn’t look like he’s teasing.

“What? I… this doesn’t have anything to do what I was trying to tell your brother! I was trying to talk about something really weird that happened at Yoosung’s place that night after fisrt rehearsal.”

“Something weird?”

“Yeah, I… no, forget it.”

“What? Noooo, don’t be shy just because Saeran is here, he can make part of our little pact too…”

“What the hell are you talking about, Saeyoung?” you notice as Saeran widens his eyes and gets flustered, just like you did when he came up with this “pact” thing.

“Oh, haven’t you heard, bro? My relationship with MC has evolved enough for us to do a ‘No questions asked’ pact.”

“Relationship?” you ask

“Friendship, whatever. The only thing important here is that something happened at Yoosung’s place, MC needed someone to talk to and came to me, but… she doesn’t want me to ask much, though. So she agreed on a ‘no questions asked’ deal.”

“Of course you did, since you’re stupid enough to do whatever this fool wants!”

“Yeah, for the first time I guess you’re right, this was stupid. It’s just… I didn’t know who to talk to, and this thing has been bothering me a lot, so… desperation got the best of me.”

“Oh, why didn’t you talk to your precious Zenny about it?” Saeran scoffs, and you roll your eyes.

“Because… of something you told me about Rika, Zen and Jumin.”

“I don’t remember doing that.”

“What do you mean? That day in Yoosung’s house when you helped me getting out of that dress.” Saeyoung widens his eyes and looks at his brother.

“Oh my… so many revelations today, what is that about, by the way?”

“No-nothing! I just helped her unzipping that hideous dress you put her on, idiot!” you notice a pale shade of crimson across Saeran’s cheeks. “And you! You… realize you’re not making any sense right now, don’t you?” you groan in annoyance and glare at him.

“Okay, let me make myself clear so this slow brain of yours can follow. You told me Zen and Jumin fighting has something to do with Rika, which was why I thought it wasn’t a good idea talking about it with Zen.”

“Because…?” Saeyoung aks.

“Because… I met Rika at Yoosung’s house and… she was… kinda… weird.”

“Why?” both twins ask at the same time.

“I…” you look at Saeran, embarrassed. Talking with Saeyoung felt right because, despite him being odd, he seems like someone who would listen and try to give you an unbiased opinion, unlike his twin, who had picked on you from the moment you showed up.

“I told you before I’ll always be honest with you because unlike these softies, I won’t spare your stupid little feelings, didn’t I?” Wow, great way to make someone feel comfortable… “So spit it out! You know if the bitch did something to harm you, you have to let us know, right?”

“Oh my god… did she hurt you?” Saeyoung asks with widen eyes.

“No! No, she didn’t… she was… really nice… too nice, actually.”

Time for what? A flashback!

You excuse yourself to try calling your father. As much as Yoosung’s family is adorable and welcoming, just like him, you really need to go home. It’s getting late and you have class tomorrow! How come your dad forgot about this? It’s not like you would like him to be all over you 24/7 like he was a little after your mom left him, but… right now, he’s just a hypocrite calling you out for being irresponsible, when he is the real irresponsible one here! And… your phone not getting any signal is not really making things easy right now!

“I always tell Yoosung this house is kinda like a giant elevator. There’s always no signal here!” she shows up in the hallway and comes towards you. “Let’s get upstairs and I’ll show you the tricks to get some bars there.”

She grabs your hand and drags you upstairs, her blonde waves brushing against your face lightly. Hum… she feels really different from what you remember of that day in the record store… and why is he here? Wasn’t she on tour with Taylor Swift or… Carrie Underwood? Or… ugh… how were those rumors again?

“Here, it always works best here! Try now!” right she was! The signal bars increase in the screen phone.

“Thanks, Rika.”

“You’re welcome, honey!” so so different…

Oh! So your father answered your texts! Last one was a few minutes ago, telling he was coming to get you. Hum… maybe he wasn’t that irresponsible… but he is still pretty hypocrite.

“Who is that? Your bf?”

“Uhm, no. My father.”

“Why isn’t your bf coming to pick you up?”

“Because I don’t have one?”

“Oh… no boyfriend? Hum… that’s too bad…” she pouts and giggles. Okay… “So you must be enjoying a lot this attention from all these guys in the band. Of course, you could enjoy that even having a boyfriend, but… being single you can do it with no guilty, right?”

“I… wouldn’t know. And I don’t get attention, I mean… probably not in the way you’re talking about.” Another giggle.

“You’re really adorable! No wonder V kept talking how perfect you were to be a good understudy for me!” Oh yeah… V…are they still dating even with him in college? Wait, why are you even thinking about this? “He was so impressed with your knowledge on music, your voice, your charisma… and Yoosung looks really impressed too, doesn’t he?”

“You… should ask him that. I wouldn’t know.” you two hear the noise of a horn downstairs. “Oh, it’s my father! I should get going. Bye, Rika.” You try to go, but she blocks your way with one of her arms.

“What would you know, then?” she asks, smirking, then playing with a lock of your hair in her fingers. “I think you know much more than you look. I’m sure there’s a really clever mind behind this cuteness, oh… and this is trouble, isn’t it? Smart, cute and talented, how can those poor guys resist? How can anyone resist?” what… what is happening? Why is she so close?

“MC?” you jump when you hear Yoosung’s voice. “Rika? What are you two doing?”

“Oh, we were just talking about hair. MC said she was thinking about dying her hair to blonde just like mine. What do you think, Yoosungie?” what the hell?

“It would look really great, MC! Rika’s hair color is really beautiful! You would look even cuter!

“Yes, that’s exactly what I told her. Even cuter…” she smirks and takes her arm out of your way. You say a quick goodbye to Yoosung and his family before your father decides to stop horning and starts yelling.

“Wait! What about the kiss?”

“Ugh… I told you there was no kiss, Saeyoung!”

“Ah yeah, usually there isn’t a kiss after the classic tsundere move of blocking the girl’s way with the arm and doing some flirty threats… but let’s have the tsundere himself share his thoughts. What do you think, bro?”

“What are you even talking about, you weirdo? Don’t encourage this crazyhead here with your anime bullshit!”

“Crazyhead?” you glare at him, your voice is louder than you would like.

“Paranoid, narcissistic, you name it. You just have this big complex on thinking everything is about you. There are always guys fighting for you, a girl wanting to kiss you…”

“Which girl wants to kiss you, MC?” the three of you spot Jaehee and Yoosung coming with their trays. You immediately freeze when you see Yoosung.

“There is no girl! She’s just imagining things like she did before when she thought Jumin and Zen were fighting for her.” Saeran scoffs “Like someone was going to be stupid enough to fight for you… or kiss you.”

“You know there’s a big difference between being honest and being an asshole, right?” you say and get off the table, your voice finally reaching the right tone to deal with this jerk.

“That was really mean and unnecessary, Saeran.” Jaehee says coldly.

“Yeah, bro! Too much tsuntsun and too little deredere…” he says, crossing his arms and shaking his head.

“Shut up, Saeyoung.” Jaehee and Saeran say at the same time.

“I’m gonna see if she’s okay, guys.” Yoosung goes after you.

He finds you angrily flipping through your books in your locker room. You look quickly at him and goes back to the books.

“Hey…” he says almost in a whisper. “MC?”

“Yes, Yoosung?” you look at him, he looks almost scared and… worried.

“MC, I… think you should not take things too personal when it comes to Saeran. He… doesn’t think much before talking, but… I don’t think he meant what he said.”

“That’s because you’re too nice and tend to see the best in everybody, Yoosung. With Saeran or…” you were going to say Rika, but why? You’re not even sure if she was flirting or threatening you, like Saeyoung said. “Saeran is a jerk, okay?”

“Well, he’s one of my closest friends and I don’t think he’s as mean as he tries to come across next to you, but… I… I do disagree on him, if you want to know… I-I… think there’s nothing crazy about wanting to fight you… or-or… k-kiss you…” both of you blush with his sudden boldness. “I mean… I think you’re great! And you should think the same about yourself! So don’t mind Saeran too much, okay?” you laugh softly at the way he rubs the back of his head, embarrassed.

“Okay, I’ll try. But just because you’re asking and because you really killed with our little Vanessa Carlton duet. Why don’t you sing more often?”

“Oh, you know… it’s just… we have Zen to steal the spotlight, and I… feel comfortable in the background with the keyboards, the spotlight is for people like… Zen and you…” wow, you’re being compared to Zen now, it’s a really long way after being offended by Saeran in such a little time…

“Tsk, too bad. I think we work really great on a duet. Maybe we would be even better with a song from this decade, you know?” he laughs.

“Oh, we could sing Little Mix one day! That one with Jason Derulo, or… or… Oops with Charlie Puth!”

“Well, you would have to do the whistle part, since I don’t know how…” you look away.

“You don’t know how to whistle?” his bright eyes widen in amusement.

“I don’t!” you pout, and he laughs. “Hey, don’t laugh!”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh at you! Just... just wet your lips and pucker them.”

“W-why?”

“To whistle! You just have to wet your lips and blow some air, with your tongue relaxed, like this.” The sound comes from his mouth effortlessly, which doesn’t happen to you, making you both chuckle “That’s… that’s so cute, MC.”

“There’s nothing cute about being such a dork!” you say dramatically.

“Well, Rika says I’m a cute dork… what do you think?” Oh yeah… Rika… what would it happen if you told him what happened between you two? Would he call you crazy too? Well, considering how much he seems to idolize her, probably… Yoosung is probably the last person you would like to upset with your… craziness?

“I… I wouldn’t know…” you shrug, and he smiles softly, almost like he was waiting for this answer.

“Alright. See you in rehearsal later, MC.” Oh no… did you upset him?

The bell rings and the hallway gets crowded with students running to get to class in time. Well, maybe Saeran is right, you’re crazy. But nobody can convince you that Rika isn’t a little crazy too, not even Yoosung.

← Chapter 5 | Chapter 7  →

[thesrhughes]

Resident Evil 7 : Review

New Post has been published on http://thesrhughes.com/resident-evil-7-review/

Resident Evil 7 : Review

Why would an author write a Resident Evil 7 review?  It’s a video game, after all.

Because this author plays a lot of video games.  More on that in the near future.

(Also because I have access to a blog platform and the absurdist millennial belief that anyone cares a spit about my banal thoughts.)

The TL;DR version of this review is as follows: purchase this game.  If you’re a fan of the franchise (which I’m not, really) or a fan of survival horror (which I am), you’ll love it.  I might recommend waiting for a sale (I didn’t), since it comes in a bit short for its price point.

Alright, now for the long version.

Selling Point 1 : You’re Not Helpless.

I’m pretty sick of helplessness as a game mechanic.  If a game is only scary because the player is helpless, it’s secretly not a very scary game.  Anything can be scary if it’s done in low light with tense music and ALSO YOU’RE HELPLESS.  This entire trend is even more absurd because, very often, the player character is walking around an environment often littered with weapons.  Look, Outlast scared the shit out of me, despite having some of the most eye-rollingly ‘shock’ moments in gaming history, but at a certain point I started rooting for the monsters.  The player character may be a journalist, but he’s a journalist walking through halls full of possible improvisational tools!  Pick something up!

People and, by extension, fictional characters, have a tendency to create tools and even weaponry with pretty much whatever is at hand.  They don’t call it ‘The Stone Age’ for fun, they call it that because the tools and weapons were made from stone.  Human beings are so desperate for tools and weapons that we literally made them out of stone.  But apparently our frightened avatars in modern horror games are too busy panting from terror to stop for a second and gather tools.

[/rant]

Resident Evil 7 assumes your character wants to make and use tools and weapons.  That assumption changes everything.  The environment is littered with resources, from big fuck-you-up guns to various chemicals and herbs to garden tools.  It creates a more interesting dynamic than helplessness.  Holding an ax gives you a sense of possibility, of strength.  Swinging it gives you a sense of power.  Whacking it into someone’s neck in a moment of desperate terror gives you an inch of control.  Turning around to find the corpse mysteriously missing…

One of my favorite horror games ever was FEAR (and its sequel, FEAR 2.)  It armed me from the start.  The game handed its player a series of awesome, fuck-you-up guns.  And then it peeled away the frail veneer of your confidence and dropped you into a situation far beyond your depth.  Resident Evil 7 does something quite similar.

Selling Point 2 : A Dreadful Sense of Intimacy

The primary setting of RE7 is a sprawling plantation estate in rural Louisiana.  It’s a family’s property.  A fucked up family, but a family nonetheless.  And the banality of that fact, the familiarity of a house’s interior, serves to create an unsettling intimacy.  Family photographs, sports paraphernalia, book shelves, kids’ trophies, etc… the details of a family history are all there.  There are even receipts and passive-aggressive sticky notes.  And the player is pressured by game mechanics and curiosity to check everything, to look into every corner, to experience as thoroughly as possible this maddening juxtaposition of the familiar and the grotesque.

Perhaps this is what I like most about the game: the minimal scope.  You are a lone human maneuvering through a minuscule slice of the globe.  The massive, overarching lore of the franchise is missing.  The vast scale of backstory is unimportant.  This is a game about the protagonist and the antagonists and very little else.

Franchises tend to bloat.  Scale expands and exposition piles up.  This game, ‘reboot’ or not, solves that problem with a sharp, indifferent knife.  It delivers what it needs: a tightly-focused story.

Selling Point 3 : Something For Everyone

Horror is lush with sub-genres.  RE7 does its best to tap as many as possible.

Supernatural horror is immediately dangled in front of our faces.  Body horror is omnipresent.  Sci-fi horror is the franchise staple.  RE7 even incorporates moments of splatterpunk and, of course, general action-horror.  Oh, I almost forgot, there’s a whole SAW-inspired puzzle-solving section, too.  Not to mention shades of Chainsaw Massacre throughout…chainsaw very much included.  Which also reminds me that southern gothic archetypes and references are everywhere in RE7.  There are also cosmic horror references, though that particular sub-genre doesn’t make any real appearances in the game proper.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that there’s something for everyone.  And though the run-and-hide mode of helplessness horror isn’t an expressed requirement of the game, running and hiding is often the wisest course of action.  So they’ve got that, too, if you like it.

One might worry that the ‘dash of everything’ approach might overclutter the game, but it doesn’t.  It provides different levels to the gameplay and, what’s more, always seems in service to the story.

Selling Point 4 : Sadistic Antagonists

I saw an article online lamenting the ugly gameplay necessity of key gathering, narratively lampshaded with the idea that the antagonists want to make it hard for you to escape.  The article pointed out that the antagonists didn’t bother reinforcing the walls, blocking the doors, or bricking up the windows.  I imagined that such measures would take away some of the ‘fun’ for the antagonists.  As much as they claim they don’t want to chase anyone down anymore, they seem to get a wicked joy out of doing just that.  If they made it too hard to escape, they’d lose the ecstasy of chasing down the desperately hopeful escapees and butchering them!

Such is the rabid sadism of our front-and-center antagonists.  Quite early in the game, during my second playthrough, I discovered myself gravely wounded by my pursuer.  Instead of finishing the job, he set a healing kit down on the floor and cooed at me to use it.  Once I’d patched myself up, he even gave me a headstart before coming after me again.  So, in my mind, the key hunting has nothing to do with making it difficult for me to leave; it has everything to do with providing the antagonists with entertainment.

These batshit crazy sadists provide the main antagonism.  Hordes of faceless monsters provide secondary, supporting antagonism (the ‘nameless goon’ variety, mostly.)  And then, behind it all, there lurks a vast, faintly-inhuman force (oh, wait, I guess those cosmic horror references make some sense after all).  Each layer of antagonism serves a purpose both to story and to gameplay.  The front-and-center villains are charmingly psychotic and extremely terrifying.  The nameless goons provide tense, strategic combat.  And the terrible intelligence behind the whole show creates a layer of moral and intellectual questions the game would otherwise lack.  It’s quite an exquisite array of enemies.

The Downside : It’s a Bit Pricey.

Currently, the game goes for $59.99, not including DLCs or soundtrack.  My first playthrough took 10 hours, my second took 7.  There’s an in-game achievement for managing it down to 4.  Though it’s a bit replayable, if only for the sheer moodiness and the awesome realization of its setting, replayability isn’t its prime directive.  I’ll certainly be prancing through it a third time, but I’m a particular sort of person.  In the main, I doubt most people will go through it more than twice.  So what that settles down to is that the base game provides, say, 10-20 hours of gameplay for a ~$60 price tag.  No thanks.

It was worth it, for me, because I love the genre and I’m utterly sick of helplessness horror.  I’ve played through twice and will be playing a third time at least.  I enjoy the game from a gameplay perspective and from a horror theory perspective.  I also sprang for the DLCs, not yet available for PC, which I hear add significant replayability–but we’re not discussing the DLCs, are we?  No.  We’re discussing the cost of the base game.  And the cost of the base game, unless you’re a weirdo  like me, is simply too high.

But I guarantee it’ll be on sale in the near future.  So if you’re the patient sort, you’re in luck.

Final Thoughts

RE7 provides an excellent experience.  It’s nerve-wracking, unsettling, frightening, and fun.  In my original 10-hour playthrough, I sweated and panicked through the first 2 hours like a man on the edge.  For the few hours after that, my mood shifted between anxiety and joy.  Anxiety at every door, every corridor, and every corner; joy at my increasing competence at solving my dilemmas.  Most of the last hour was spent in full action mode, all sound and fury and laughter.  It was an incredible emotional journey.

In my second playthrough, I was more confident.  My relatively eased anxiety allowed me to appreciate the setting and the art of the game more deeply.  The narrative flow, the peaks and valleys of fear throughout the story, etc.  It was during my second playthrough that I really fell in love with the game.

So, yes, it’s an exquisite game, an excellent bit of interactive horror media, and a decently written (if also unevenly written) story.  My only dismay is at the price tag, a number I think is a bit high for people less fanatical about their devotion to horror media and video games than I am.  But I suppose that’s for them to decide.

[vividwolves]

voltage » peter parker au [part one]

hi! i published this on wattpad as well, so if you see a repeat don’t worry, i own both:) the only change is i’m styling this more as an imagine, rather than as an actual fanfiction, so the main character will be Y/N instead of Valentina, like it is in the Wattpad version.

word count: 885

warning(s): none

-

Y/N wasn't staring at Peter Parker. She was just admiring the way he smiles when Ned tells a stupid joke, how he always blushes when someone brings up something dumb he did two weeks ago, and how he fiddles his fingers when there's an awkward silence.

So she likes Peter Parker. Big deal.

Lots of girls like Peter Parker. Actually, only two girls like Peter Parker. Her and MJ. And MJ doesn't even know if she really likes Peter. It could've just been an off day for her.

But Y/N knows she likes him. She's liked him since 3rd grade when he came to school with an animal themed bandaid on his chin after falling off his bike.

Of course, she doesn't spend all her time thinking about Peter Parker. She reads, plays the saxophone, and helps her batshit crazy dad electrocute things. It's been his life long passion to become the Dr. Frankenstein of the 21st Century.

His goal is to be able to bring back a person from the dead after more than 24 hours with an electric current. His current test subjects? Rats collected from Queens very own subways. She finds the whole "coming back from the dead" part weird, but she figures it could be worse.

Her gaze leaves Peter and falls down to her buzzing cellphone.

Pa [11:52am]:

Be home on time today. I got some exciting stuff.

Y/N [11:53am]:

k u freakin weirdo

Pa [11:53am]:

Love you spawn.

Any other teenage girl would be mortified to spend most of their time with their dad, especially when their dad loves to play with hundreds of volts of electricity. It's not Y/N's favorite thing, but her and her dad stick together, they always have ever since Y/N’s mom died, and they promised they would never let each other down.

"Why don't you just TALK to him already?" Tia groaned as she plopped down next to Y/N, snapping her out of her trance.

"Yeah, and say what? 'Hi Peter I know you don't know me, but I love the way the light glistens in your eyes, you look like an angel on earth!'" Y/N flatly responded.

Tia rolled her eyes, "Stop being so dramatic. Introducing yourself to another person isn't that hard..."

"It is when you have zero people skills." She responded

Tia shot Y/N a glare before smiling, "So, any exciting plans after school? It is Friday you know, football game? You should totally go! I'm always there with the girls!"

The girls and Y/N did not get along. Tia was friends with a lot of people, including girls who dislike Y/N for being Y/N.

"Can't T, Dad needs my help today."

"Seriously Y/N, just one day...for me?" Tia said, sticking out her bottom lip.

Y/N scratched her head in thought, "Hmm, sweaty teens, shouting adults, shitty football team? I'll pass."

Tia opened her mouth but the bell rang just as she was about to say something.

"Thanks for the invite Tia, but it's just not my thing. I appreciate you thinking about me, and we should definitely hang out soon!" And with that she walked away, leaving an annoyed Tia behind.

*

4th Block Physics with Mr. Brown. And with Y/N and Peter Parker sitting only tables away.

She could hear Ned whispering to Peter, well everyone could hear Ned whispering something to Peter. Even Mr. Brown could and he was starting to get fed up.

"Coulomb's Law. Can anyone tell me the definition of this term?" Brown asked.

"Right. It was crazy! And I couldn't believe-" Ned was interrupted by a sharp voice.

"LEEDS! How many times must I ask you to shut your trap in one class?" Brown questioned.

The class chuckled as Ned turned bright red, "Sorry sir."

Brown looked at both Ned and Peter, and it was almost as if a lightning bulb went off in his head

"Leeds, switch with Y/L/N."

Y/L/N.

Y/N looked at Brown and he made a motion for her to get up.

In her 11 years of going to school with Peter Parker not once had she sat next to him. She would've remembered it if it actually had happened.

She could feel the gaze from her classmates burning holes into the back of her head as she hurried across one side of the room to the other. Peter gave her a weak smile as she sat down next to him.

"Sorry about that." He said.

Val returned a nervous, giddy smile, "It's okay, it's not your fault."

He nodded and turned his attention back to Brown, who was droning on and on about whatever the hell a coulomb was. Y/N turned to a page to start taking notes, but she could feel Peter staring at her notebook. She looked over at him and saw his eyes focused on one of her doodles.

"Do you like Spider-Man?" He asked, pointing to her drawing of the spider that's on Spider-Man's suit.

"He's pretty cool I'd say."

He laughed, "Yeah, he is isn't he?"

With that, Peter turned his attention back up to Brown for good, gazing at Ned every once in a while, who was making weird hand movements trying to communicate with him from across the classroom.

Y/N’s focus on anything disappeared the second Peter Parker told her he was sorry.