#getting introspective again

[moonchild-in-blue]

If you choose to look at Sleep as an allegory for depression/mental illness, the romantic and co-dependent nature of Vessel's lyrics hurt that much more.

"I hate you and you're bad for me" "I don't know who I am without you" "Please set me free" "Please don't leave me" "You're an intrinsic part of me" "I must become someone new".

Ya feel me?

[illyrianbitch]

what do you think is your biggest red flag

i write fanfiction on tumblr dot com

[artiststarme]

Steve couldn’t understand why the Party wanted him around. He didn’t see why anyone would want to hang around some deadbeat that peaked in high school, he certainly wouldn’t. Case in point, all of his friends were going somewhere. Dustin was a genius, Robin was brilliant, and Eddie was going to be a world famous rockstar like Freddy Mercury was. Max was healing nicely and she would be something important, Lucas was great with people so he’d have a bright future, and Mike was… passionate. El and Will were fabulous so he was sure they would amount to everything.

Why would any of them drag themselves down with Steve? Robin could choose so many other soulmates better than Steve. He couldn’t relate to being a “band geek” in high school or working full time to save money for college, he couldn’t even get into college. In his mind, anyone could be a better friend to her than he could.

And why was Eddie dating him? Beautiful, smart, strategic, funny Eddie. He could have anyone he wanted and yet he settled for Steve. No matter how many times Eddie told him he loved him and couldn’t imagine life without him, Steve couldn’t wrap his head around it. What was so special about himself that all of these people stuck around?

Nothing had changed over the years, really. He was still the neglected boy sitting on the bleachers after baseball practice, waiting for his parents to come pick him up. Even back when he was little, his parents knew he was nothing special. They’d taken the first flight out of Hawkins and had hardly looked back since.

Hell, even Steve’s friends in high school figured it out. Tommy and Carol hadn’t said a word to encourage him to stay, they sent him away with silent glares and indifferent shrugs as if being a friend to Steve was more of an effort than it was worth.

And Nancy, his first heartbreak. She dropped him like everyone else always had. As soon as another boy showed her kindness and affection, she dropped Steve like a hot potato and broke his heart on the way out the door.

Steve knew it was only a matter of time before the Party grew tired of him. Every outing, Steve watched them like it would be the last time. Because just like everyone else, they would all leave and move onto better things. And Steve would be left broken with no one to pick up the pieces.

[confused-stars]

i need to actually remember for my writing that my main hc for why Childe is Like That is that he saw something real and true just once in his life and has been chasing that high ever since despite it being a massively traumatizing experience

kind of like a very weird Lovecraft protagonist

[coldjustness]

Always remember that Neve Gallus thinks that mages who use magic to do trivial casual tasks (opening doors, lighting candles, torches, fireplaces, etc) are flashy and like to show off. She'd rather light her candles by hand, and I half blame this on her growing up in a non-magic household and the other half is her humble mindset.

However, she makes an exception for ruined fashion and cold coffee.

[attractthecrows]

Sanemi is trans thanks to the parentified oldest sister -> transman pipeline

Genya is trans thanks to not realizing that he's trans until she's at least in her mid twenties and built like a mack truck

Tengen is trans because he has always viewed gender as her best performance and they don't like being consistent anyways #flashyfluid

Gyomei is not trans because he's always been too goddamn busy to put any thought in that direction. "Am I experiencing Gender? I don't care I've got twelve orphans to feed/a million demons to kill"

[shouldprobablybereading]

Officially at the halfway point (well 49%) and so far it’s a lot better than what I expected. I’ve had a lot of fun with days 4 and 5 specifically

Biggest disappointment so far is probably the spiritual realm flashbacks. They’re not bad. But I don’t feel like they reveal enough to be worth how much space they are taking up each. Which is a bit about how I feel overall. It’s using so many words but not effectively. It’s also a bit repetitive so far since all plots points are based on doing essentially the same type of thing over and over.

Which becomes a problem when I’m expecting this to be the last time I see at least a few of these characters. That was expected as it was my main problem with the lost metal. If this is the last 400 pages that I get with the characters then I want them to be at their most interesting. But instead they get split off on 45 different missions and the entire book becomes about describing action scenes

Surprisingly Szeth is actually the best part of his own book so far. He’s never been one of my favorites so I thought his flashbacks would be a bit boring. But no shinovar is deeply fascinating and I’m starting to actually get his character

[coldjustness-archive]

Neve Gallus, nearly crying, while you help her light the lantern for Brom, Rana's partner who she feels responsible for getting killed, because she's so torn up and crushed in guilt over it, and even feels responsible for all the people who have died around her???

[briannysey]

I’ve been so excited to get to this point in my lit of the Harlem Renaissance class!!!

It’s hard to quantify the impact Delany’s work has had on my life. The only piece of his Ive truly read so far is “Aye and Gommorah” which I red in December 2021, weeks before realizing my true gender identity. “Aye…” is a very queer story, and I read it while preparing a submission for the inaugural Delany Fellowship (which I wasnt even longlisted for. Which was more than fair, my work wasnt ready). But that’s when I first seriously encountered Delany’s work.

Delany’s history as a gay writer coming from Harlem and shaking up the Science Fiction world was really important to me. I’d read contemporary queer works (all my followers know how much I love Dickinson’s The Masquerade) but I was less familiar with our history in Science Fiction and family. Delany’s work inspired me to learn more about the history of queer fiction, which prompted my research into vampires that got me the scholarships and awards that moved me fron my beloved community college to my current private 4-year institution.

It was my failure to land that fellowship but my discovery of our history that prompted me to actually go back to school. And Delany’s work being part of the coursework for this specific class is what prompted me to take it and read all the incredible (and incredibly timely) work Ive read this semester.

Anyways Im excited to dig and read more deeply on Delany’s work! Im grateful for the opportunity, and for the material and emotional impact his work has had on me. I also just have? Idk a renewed appreciation of literature because of his works.

[phoenixkaptain]

To be completely honest, I can excuse any writing flaws - plot holes, discrepancies, boring moments, etc - as long as I like the characters.

[coldjustness]

Unless Harding can do stitches I’m 50% sure Neve stitched herself up when she was injured at the ritual at the beginning of the game.

(Let’s also remember she’s fixed herself up before in the book when her arm was slashed open. lady can do old fashion ‘not gonna die’ non-magic methods of helping injuries.

[margindoodles2407]

i. wow. i am. so lonely

[asterbats]

i think for the shitty scorpion family, their entire dynamic is definitely toxic (heh) but also neither dusk nor bruno is an inherently terrible person? its just that they’re a) horrible together longterm as they are and b) people who should not have had kids.

[giantkillerjack]

Anastasia the Musical sucks so bad. They really said "We're gonna cut the best song from the movie - just axe the absolute banger that is 'In the Dark of the Night' - because we are being SERIOUS and GROWN-UP now. We are A Big Historical Realism Musical Now. This is FOR REAL, okay!? We don't have a SILLY villain like Rasputin! We have Gleb! [Please Just Clap.] We are HISTORICALLY GROUNDED. -- Anyway, here's a musical unironically glorifying the Russian monarchy~~ 💖😌💖😌💖😌💖"

[seaofreverie]

Wait so this means we're going to have the most Sparks-filled Sparkstember there's ever been, right???

[desalvar]

Ive never played a character that introspects so little and while yeah it's tough to build posts somewhat, occasionally when he has to face the state of things he gets hysterically unbalanced about it so yk what, you lose some you win some : )