#giant!janus

[lavender-actualy-posts-shit]

Giggling like a little girl because if we agree that Patton gets to be a small frog like Jan gets to be a snake, and Pat is canonically a large frog beast, then Jan would get to be a beast too, right?

I. Want. Hydra. Janus.

[jaratedeguadalupe]

snarky asshole meets snarky asshole,, hijinks ensue..

don't forget the angsty shared history and talking about the other any chance they get. no proper communication about their feelings allowed of course,, not on this page

it's the bitter exes bitter how things ended up and refusing to admit any wrongdoings relating to it and deep underlying insecurity of the other truly knowing them (and the fear of them using it against them) whilst simultaneously missing that sentiment and connection for me.

[muppenthings]

The final part of the Sanders Sides "Giant merman" au story. It is the end of the au.

First -- Previous

CWs: while everything is kept very brief the story does mention abandonment, injury, person being called monster, mentions of self-neglect, kidnapping, being tied up, and death.

Part 4

On the local morning news, a cargo ship was reported to have had an unfortunate run in with a supposed whale; the hull dented, propeller and rudder smashed. The ship drifted at sea before it was successfully towed back to safety by the coast guard.

Logan chokes on his morning coffee. No way a whale could manage that. And with the state of mind that Virgil left the beach in… Logan worries Virgil’s gotten hurt.

He calls Janus. There’s a long pause. “You don’t have to worry about him anymore. We’ve got him.” And he hangs up. Leaving Logan even more jarred. He tries calling him again, but he’s been blocked.

Roman calls him next, having seen the news too (Patton is still sleeping cause he’s not a morning person). They both rush to Patton’s place, calling in to get the day off their respective work.

The trio then tries to figure out what to do. Janus had straight up told them that the company had Virgil. So, he was at a mainland harbor or something similar. Did he go willingly? Only one way to make sure. They find a map and start plotting, locating all possible harbors. They’re not abandoning their friend! Meanwhile Logan feels responsible and quite guilty.

Scene changes to a mainland harbor, where the company is keeping Virgil.

Janus is staring up at his sleeping form, his gaze travels to the side of his tail, a large gash adorning it. An injury likely from smashing the cargo ship’s propeller. He’d call for someone to look at it. 

One of his team members walks up to him. Janus asks if the sedatives shouldn’t have worn off by now.

The former shrugs. Probably. The mer was exhausted before so he’s probably just catching up on some Z’s.

Janus frowns. This wasn’t how he wanted things to go.

Part 5

Flashback to before the capture:

Janus had explained to the company board about the three friends and his own plan of the giant coming willingly. They had agreed to it.

Since they already had placed a tracker on the giant, they were confident that the giant wouldn’t escape even if he declined the offer. ((Virgil must drink freshwater, there’s a stream that he frequents on the mainland. The “tracking team” could easily figure it out and wait for him to visit it, thus plant a tracker from afar on him.))

But the board had completely lost their cool after hearing that the mer had attacked a ship; Seeing the tracker’s location along with the location of the cargo ship… They put two and two together. (The company has their own ship at sea, keeping an ear on the marine radio channels. Just in case) 

The board gives the instruction to just go ahead with plan B; which is to sedate the mer and tow him into their harbor. The mer was growing too unpredictable for their liking, it’d be safer for everyone to just bring him in. What they’d do with the mer was still being discussed.

Janus opposes but the plan is already set in motion during the early morning.

While he waits for his team to bring the sleeping mer in, he receives a phone call from Logan; talking about the cargo ship on the news, worrying about Virgil. Janus tells him not to worry about Virgil anymore; they’ve got him. He then blocked his number; the three didn’t need to be weighed by company business anymore. Janus may also be a bit salty because the trio didn’t keep him updated on Virgil’s status; they didn’t hold their part of their deal so he’s not keeping his.

End flashback.

Part 6

When Virgil wakes up, he’s not very cooperative. He’s tied up, confused, scared and angry all rolled up in one. He refuses to let anyone approach or tend to his injured tail. So Janus does a “villain speech” and basically shoulders the full responsibility for Virgil’s capture (he’d rather have the mer angry with him only so that his team could tend to his injuries and hopefully feed him). This allows his team to work better with the mer, but Janus isn’t having a good time.

A week passes

Somewhere during this, Virgil learns about the fate of the researcher that created him. The person he viewed as a parent, that he still views as a parent. Learning that she unfortunately died in an accident shocks him, but there’s also relief in knowing that she never abandoned him. That he was never an unwanted creature; she was going to come back to him. He starts bawling; for the loss of a parent, for the years of solitude, for being stuck in a place with unknown people, for attacking the ship. And above all, missing his humans. 

Virgil is so miserable. Janus considers contacting the trio again as it’s just not working. What Janus doesn’t know is that Logan, Roman and Patton have been scouting all possible harbors where Virgil might be kept. 

The trio ends up finding the harbor just as Janus gets the green light to get the trio involved again. He calls Logan, the ringtone echoing loudly in the back area, effectively getting them “caught”.

Virgil initially doesn’t want to greet them, recalling his actions towards Logan on the beach prior. But the two have a heart to heart and reconcile. Logan also addresses his guilt from not noticing the bad state Virgil was in.

Everyone has a talk. It’s eventually decided that Virgil can swim freely in the ocean again and spend time with Logan, Patton and Roman like they used to. But he has to return to the harbor for health checkups and to eat; so he doesn’t impact the area's ecosystem as much by staying in it.

In the end, Virgil is free and can spend his time with the people that he loves. He mends things with Janus too. Getting another human friend. And they lived happily ever after. :)

[trevlad-sounds]

Invisible Waves 30.

28.07.2024

Intro 00:00 Kenny Ueda–Office 00:48 Edward Hopper – Office in a Small City Roland Juno-6 Casio SK-1 Chapter 1 03:52 Giants of Discovery–Heather Island On The Marsh (lying-holmr) 09:41 RINGS MARBLES ARBHAR Valhalla FX Soma Terra Moolakii Club Audio Interface events Hymns for Robots Point Surrender–echoes 12:41 Original Point Surrender “echoes” Youtube Sequential Morpho x4 Behringer Neutron Electron Digitakt Steinberg Cubase DAW Cyclical Magazine Chapter 2 16:50 Time Rival–Creased 19:44 Inaction album Star Mother EP Robert F. Young TC Parmelee Time Rival IG Kiasmos, Ólafur Arnalds, Janus Rasmussen–Grown 22:35 Kiasmos (first album) Chapter 3 28:00 Go Outside–on a sunny day 33:40 Go Outside IG Koen Holtkamp–Atmos Four 36:58 Chapter 4 38:25 Francesca Heart, Polonius–Flux Faux 43:06

Spotify link: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2sMhr55qqEKeeokQ0nTwbv?si=83332119f26b4e01

[oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat]

Remus' Name Reveal - A Mini-Rant

Okay, so idk if y'all remember how Remus revealed his name to Thomas, but I think about this all the time. Like, specifically how Logan reacted to it.

Everyone else was kinda like "I'm sorry, wut." when Remus straight-up (haha, 'straight') told Thomas his name. There was no hesitation. The Sides offer up their names as a sign of trust towards their host, except for maybe Logan. His name was revealed because Patton said it, instead of him. Logan wasn't bothered by it (at least, he seemed so). But that's a different story.

Anyway: Logan's reaction to Remus' name reveal was basically a hum of curiosity. Like "That's interesting." I figure it's because since the Sides' names are a 'gift of trust', that Remus giving his out so quickly is kinda intriguing.

Ya see, Remus has every right to not give out his name. In fact, he has good reason to never give out his name to his host. Remus had been repressed for years, wandering aimlessly around Thomas' mind. Sure, he had Janus (and Virgil, before he left). I wonder about Roman. While they seem to share a room, or Remus at least is just in Roman's room all the time, Remus seems to be a bit ignored by his brother.

So, the point: he gives his name quickly and without hesitation. Some reasons for this may be because Remus tends to be very impulsive, but he also has proven to be quite smart (have you seen his traps from WTIT?). He also may have done this to prove a point about Virgil, if y'all remember that sideways glance and the words along the lines of "I would never keep anything from you." Hell, maybe Remus revealed his name just to f*ck with Thomas or something. But I theorize another option.

What if, despite all that Thomas has done, Remus still trusts him? Or at least, desperately wants to be trusted by Thomas?

Like I said, he's been repressed for a very long time. As both the twins have mentioned, Thomas tends to 'shackle his Creativity', which is both of them. So, maybe at the first sign of being confronted and even allowed in any sort of spotlight, he jumps straight in. Being isolated in any way gets lonely, and if suddenly you're able to get attention from someone? Yeah, it can be an instant shift.

Maybe he's just grasping at whatever attention he can get? Like he's very impulsive and is literally Intrusive Thoughts, so he'll be blurting out random sh*t (whether he likes it or not). But, maybe since he's used to being so alone, he takes whatever time in the spotlight he can. No matter how annoying he gets or how little that time is.

When he revealed his name, he was calm about it. In contrast to most of his interactions in this specific episode (DWIT), he offered it with grace. There were a few other calm moments from him, like his "you tickle me, emo" moment with Virgil.

It just seems different though, when he reveals his name. Just a different type of calm? I guess??

I mean, literally no other Side's name reveal was that quick. Not even the core/light Sides'. It took a giant leap of trust from both Janus and Virgil before they revealed their names. So, why was Remus so quick??

It's just interesting how quickly Remus gave that sign of trust to Thomas.

Idk, discuss your own thoughts about it if you want. I'm curious to see what others have to say about this.

[ask-gt-roceit]

Tiny!Snake!Janus: *coils around Roman's finger*

Roman: Now I have you around my finger, does it mean you'll do as I say?

Tiny!Snake!Janus: *nips*

Roman: Rude!

-

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[ashs-random-writing]

Building Up Burned Bridges

Chapter 13

Ao3

—

Humans are widely regarded as myths. Myths of Giant monstrous beings whose only goal is to destroy magic and all magical beings. That was a stereotype.

Janus is a human who's been in hiding, alone for seven years. He was always careful, he always protected himself, and now there was a fairy in his cave.

—

Janus bounced his child. The magicals were still there. Blocking the door.

He needed to go hunting, but it was too dangerous to take Roman with him, and it was too dangerous to leave him here with the magicals

They hadn’t hurt them yet, but he wasn’t going to give them a chance

He growled, watching their reactions carefully. They flinched. The unknown walked slightly closer, softly saying something to the other two. Janus clutched Roman to his chest. They turned to him and said something

They were asking if he was okay, he was fairly certain. The feelings being sent out felt concerned, questioning, and like they were attempting to comfort him

He stared, wondering why they would ask that, and almost without realising it, he shook his head.

He couldn’t decipher the face they were making and he turned away from them, whispering reassurances to Roman (and maybe to himself as well)

Roman mimicked him, though not getting every sound correct

Janus smiled, a tired smile, one that wouldn’t be hard to knock off of his face.

“I’m sorry you were born into a world as messed up as this, but I’m so glad I found you” He whispered, stroking hair from Roman’s face.

He was aware of the magicals’ eyes on him as he spoke, but he simply ignored them. He hoped they’d show him the same mercy as he showed them and not hurt him or Roman

They were still staring, still sending out comforting emotions that had to be a trap. They walked closer, and closer still. Janus held Roman closer, bearing his teeth at the intruding magicals. They stopped, and Janus shuffled backwards.

They backed away too, strangely calm. He hated this. At least last time he was in an enclosed space with magicals, he’d been the one pulling the strings, so to speak.

He gave another glare to the intruders.

They didn’t leave. He was so frustrated. His mind was in pieces, and he was trying to concentrate on keeping Roman safe, keeping Roman happy, keeping the magicals away, finding out what they wanted, figuring out why they hadn’t attacked yet.

They were still sending out emotional signals. They were trying to trick him, he knew that, but it felt so real that he couldn’t figure out why.

He bounced his child. He had done plenty of bad things to keep himself safe. He had done several things that he really regretted, that he definitely shouldn’t have done. He was barely grown, himself.

Roman was supposed to be away from all that shit.

He found that he really didn’t like that they’d dragged his son into this.

He and the magicals were at a standstill for several tense (minutes? Hours?) but they backed out of the room, whispering to each other

This did nothing to quell his suspicions. He put Roman to bed and watched the doorway. He didn’t fall asleep, despite his tiredness. He knew a trick when he saw one; they were trying to lower his guard and then they’d attack.

They were back after a few hours, more emotional signals being released, and more comforting words.

They were back every day for weeks. Janus had let his guard down ever so slightly. Roman liked them being around. Janus didn’t

He was starting to understand their language. Not much, but more than he used to. He had never really tried before.

—

Virgil felt bad for the human.

They were sat in the same room for hours, and not once did their emotions change from suspicious, upset, fear and anger. The child was not scared, but Virgil thought it should’ve been. For all the humans knew, Virgil and his friends were there for bad reasons

They had started sleeping in one of the other giant houses. Every day they came back to their human’s house, the human seemed to lower their guard ever so slightly.

Of course, no one was allowed near the child, still.

They were able to share names, eventually. The adult human was named Janus, the child named Roman. He, Patton and Logan shared their own names. Patton reported on different emotions they were feeling during their visits, and they were very slowly shifting from scared to wary.

Virgil was scared as well. He had a not-very-good experience with this particular human, and (while he understood that it had been an act of desperation) he couldn’t help but think of his imprisonment

It had been several months of his life spent in a dark cave, living in fear (he realised rather suddenly that that was Janus’s whole life before they made the treacherous journey up north)

He felt so sorry for them, and yet, he couldn’t help but feel some kind of resentment for the months taken from him. Their entire life had been taken from them. It was a conflicting feeling. He wanted to be fine with them (he knew that everything they did was an act of desperation, he knew that they had been through worse than he’d ever been. But what he had been through was at their hands)

The child was curious, playful. Virgil would be lying to say he wasn’t somewhat scared of a baby that was bigger than him. Babies grabbed anything in sight. It was good that Janus kept Roman away. Virgil didn’t have very positive experiences with being grabbed

He waited for a while, watching out of the giant window of the house he and his friends were staying in as Janus started hunting for food. Roman had been left in the house the humans were staying in, as usual, likely asleep.

Virgil didn’t know what to feel about anything anymore.

X—X

@a-chilly-pepper

[orbmanson7]

Me, with every fandom I fall into: okay but how do I make a wayward children crossover for this

[an-organized-confusion]

I’m mostly going to paraphrase but me and co-conspirator thought about how some members of Team Z in the iZ!AU are dealing with the whole... being zombies thing.

Roman is going to box it up and compartmentalize it and try not to think about it for like a month... and then he has to again, in order not to go Full Romero. (Or if the brain he’s on is particularly rough.)

Virgil, having had a long history of a good therapeutic relationship for his anxiety issues with Patton... he’s a bit less of a mess. But lbr, nothing’s going to really prepare you to deal with any of this zombie nonsense.

Remus is like, “This is great! No more cancer! No more aching joints! My scars have healed-!“ Patton (or Logan in all honesty): They’re still there- Remus, insistent: “My scars have healed!“ Patton (or Logan): “But-?“ Remus, with more intensity: “My. SCARS. Have. HEALED!“

Janus? Janus is not going to say shit about it.

[regallibellbright]

Bro’s playing Chrono Trigger, hopefully with intent to finish this time, I suspect.

I stalled out when playing DS during the final sidequests, but therefore functionally played the entire game and have been trying very hard not to spoil That Particular Plot Point. (If you have to ask you don’t know which it is.)

This led to me going “wait, how far in is he” after he got kicked out of Zeal the first time, which led me down the rabbit hole of the Chrono Compendium wiki, which does not just have theory pages but DISSERTATIONS on how time travel would have to work in these games. So now it’s 3:45 AM. I’m pleased with how I have spent this time.

[januscorner]

I’m taking requests!

I do Moodboards, stimboards, art requests, wallpapers, gif sets, playlists, userboxes, and trades!

Just shoot me an ask of what you want, I’ll do characters, ships, songs, ocs, vibes, pride flags, kin stuff, etc.

For OC requests please include details about the character

I’m in the following fandoms but I might do some others:

Sanders Sides, Steven Universe, BRCU, Gravity Falls, The Owl House, Disney, Musicals, Bigtop Burger, Hazbin Hotel, Helluva Boss, Dead End: Paranormal Park, Ever After High, Monster High, Roleslaying With Roman, Total Drama, Kipo Age Of The Wonderbeasts, My Little Pony, Summer Camp Island, The Amazing World Of Gumball, The Amazing Digital Circus, Morel Orel, The World Of Mr Plant, Baby Sitter’s Club, Sanrio, Tangled The Series, Trolls, The Muppets, Giant Days, Lumberjanes, Ghosts, LOL dolls, Spiderverse and Battle Kitty

More info here!

I’m also doing a project of make characters based on songs! If you want me to do a specific one shoot me an ask!

I’m also also, making characters based on lesser represented Pride flags, feel free to request any

AO3 Unvale Art Fight Kin Help Blog

Userbox hoard under the cut

@/lgbtq-userboxes

@/cherry-blossom-labyrinth

@/hacker-the-simp

@/queerpridedits

@/jeweledviolets

@/burntoutuserboxes

@/ophelian-darling

@/sweetpeauserboxes

@/transmasculine

@/chronicallyleggless

@/butterscotch-goat

@/userboxvariety

@/satyrradio

And Me!

[bruisedribs]

wait what if i was gay for janus

[jaratedeguadalupe]

remus and virgil tasted and reviewed every single monster flavor once to find out which one was superior 

[redandyellowbracket]

FINALS

It's the moment you've all been waiting for, folks! It's the final showdown between our two semifinalists for the title of ULTIMATE Red and Yellow!

On the left we have Sideswipe and Sunstreaker from Transformers. These terrific twins can transform into Lamborghini cars! They've defeated everyone who crossed their paths: their transforming adversaries, Knockout and Bumblebee; magical girls Kyoko Sakura and Mami Tomoe; the reason this bracket was formed, Red and Yellow from AvA/M; and most recently, they battled against Touhou's protagonist and deuteragonist, Reimu Hakurei and Marisa Kirisame, sweeping by pretty much exactly 70%!

And on the right we have Dick Simmons and Dexter Grif who, while actually maroon and orange, swept through their competition by the will of the fans and committing to the bit: basketball anime boys Kagami Taiga and Kise Ryota, Homestuck hotshots Aradia Megido and Sollux Captor, Rise!TMNT's very own Raph and April, and in the semis they battled and absolutely destroyed Thomas Sanders' Roman and Janus by a whopping 74.8!

Will the giant transforming robot twins come out on top, or will Grimmons take down one final foe and earn a title that would make Grif furious? Good luck to both of our finalist duos! And please, for the sake of myself and your fellow voters, be courteous in the notes.

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Role Reversal

Roman kept mentioning that he doesn’t like transformations and it kept reminding me of Patton turning into a giant frog and Janus disguising himself as other sides. It would be very cool and epic if you could make some Roman angst based off this concept (no pressure obviously) – anon

The song "I Am in Great Pain, Please Help Me" by Crywank reminds me so much of Roman (specifically, your brand of Roman angst). I was wondering if you had the spoons for it, to write something inspired by it? No pressure to, ofc! – anon

Perhaps something where Roman is comforting Logan and then after Roman leaves, Logan is like, “Wait, shit, I should have been comforting YOU!”. You know the scene in What Makes A Perfect Gift where Logan asks for Roman’s input and Roman looks genuinely surprised? The angst potential for Roman not thinking he’s needed at a BRAINSTORM is so slept on. I know you’ve had a lot of Roman angst asks lately so I understand if you don’t want to do it, but I definitely wanted to ask just in case! – anon

Roman angst disguised as Logan centric. Logan Sherlock fic about him trying to figure out why Thomas’s mental health is so bad. – anon

Read on Ao3

Warnings: roman being insecure, logan being insecure

Pairings: logince can be platonic or romantic you decide

Word Count: 3143

Logan feels stressed about Thomas's mental health and goes to Roman for help discussing a possible upcoming video, only for Roman to accurately guess that Logan's feeling insecure about his own role in keeping Thomas happy and healthy. Little does Logan know: there's more going on than meets the eye and it isn't until later that he realizes Roman's far more fragile than anyone could've guessed. After that, well, there's really only one course of action.

If Logan had not been paying very, very close attention, there is every possibility that he could have missed it.

He almost did; despite being entirely focused on his goal, he has to admit that it wasn't something he saw as necessarily related, and as such, dismissed initially as not relevant to solving the problem of why Thomas's mental health had been in a steady decline since the wedding. However, upon further reflection, he can conclude that not only was the sudden tightening of Roman's expression related, it was most likely the strongest indicator he's seen since he began.

"Sorry, Specs, I think my hearing cut out of a second there." Roman scratches the back of his head almost sheepishly. "Can you—can you say that one more time?"

"I believe it would be helpful for Thomas for us to do another 'low-key' video, as it were, and for you and I to work together."

"Yes, I heard that part."

"As we want to focus on recapturing some of Thomas's whimsy and zest for life—" here Roman's expression quirks towards amusement— "it would be apt for you to try and recreate some of the dreams Thomas has held onto in the past."

"Right, but not like—"

"Including transforming into those he aspired to be or the roles he aspired to fill," Logan finishes, frowning when there's that momentary tightness in Roman's smile again, "do you concur?"

"I—so I'm all for helping Thomas fall in love with his dreams again, you know, but, um…" He twists his fingers together. "I'm not sure that this is…the best way to do it?"

"You are the embodiment of Thomas's Hopes and Dreams. Who else would be better equipped to help me?"

Roman blinks as if he hadn't been expecting the comment. Which is in and of itself a little odd; Roman typically never passes up the opportunity to remind them of his standing in Thomas's psyche, nor to claim credit for half of the things Thomas does even when it's far more of a group effort. "Right, but I don't see how me turning into various things would be helpful."

"Thomas is a very visual learner. It's been proven in the past via various theater productions and other activities that he thrives in environments where he can immerse himself in what it is he's doing. By having you, his Creativity, directly mimic the dreams he wishes or wished to obtain, we draw a more substantial connection between the Thomas that he is now and the Thomas he aspires to be."

Roman's mouth works. Logan frowns.

"If you have something you want to say, Roman, by all means, speak your mind. This brainstorm won't be nearly as successful if only one of us is contributing."

"Where is this coming from, Logan?"

"I'm not quite sure what you mean."

"This." Roman gestures back and forth between them. "This sudden need to 'fix' Thomas. You've been pretty clear with the rest of us that you don't think staying 'in his head' would be helpful, not when you're working so hard on your lists that you want him to do."

"Well, it's been pretty clear those aren't working, so—"

"But they have been. You know they have been—we all celebrated when Thomas finally managed to clean his kitchen and you were right, he did feel better afterwards. Your methods were working, are working."

Logan swallows. He did feel very accomplished after the last bowl had been placed in the cupboard, and no one had been happier than he when Thomas not only made himself dinner but cleaned up afterwards, but this was different. "Thomas deserves the drive to go after what he wants as well as doing the maintenance required to sustain his current lifestyle."

Roman nods. "And what sorts of things are those?"

"Roman, I don't understand—"

"Please," he interrupts, holding up his hands, "humor me?"

"You're the one who's Hopes and Dreams," he protests feebly, "you're Creativity. I'm not going to be good at coming up with them."

"Just try. You're better at it than you think."

"O-oh." He blinks. "Thank you, Roman."

"Of course."

"Uh—well, I think Thomas has a passion for filmmaking that he hasn't fully realized in shooting the YouTube videos due to the constraints of the channel."

"Okay."

"He's been enjoying doing the modeling shoots for Instagram as well. And he has a few shows that he wants to catch up on—not a dream, I know, but something he wants to do."

"That's good, Logan. What else?"

"Does he still have the dream of being an actor? On a more professional level?"

"I believe so, yes."

"Well, there you are, then."

Roman nods. "And if we go off of your transformation idea, what—what exactly would I be transforming into?"

He furrows his brow. "Well, you would be—if you were doing—I suppose you—ah. I see your point."

"It's not that there's something Thomas isn't that we need to make him into," Roman says quietly, "we can just remind him of the things that are already inside him that he can chase and pursue."

"…that is a very valid conclusion to have reached."

"He doesn't have to work all the time—I think both you and I know the dangers of letting yourself believe you can," he says with a gentle nudge to Logan's shoulder, "he can give himself time to rest and work on things that he wants to, not things that he has to."

"And I suppose making another video would be counterproductive to this aim, as it requires a level of work that would not be outweighed by the reassurance it might provide."

"I don't know if I would've said it nearly as well as you, but yeah, pretty much."

Logan sighs, closing his notebook with an almost despondent flap. "Then I suppose I have nothing else to work on."

"Good."

He frowns at Roman. "'Good?'"

"Well, now that means you can do the things that you want to do."

"M-me? What on earth are you talking about?"

"Did we not just go over how important it is to not be consumed by work all the time?"

"Well, yes, but—"

"Did we not just talk about how it's necessary to rest and do the things you want to do from time to time?"

"I don't—"

"Did you not just say that you have nothing else to work on right now?"

"I know what you're doing," he says, meaning for it to come out accusatory and missing dreadfully, "it's not going to work."

"Me convincing you to take time for yourself and enjoy spending your time how you want to spend it isn't going to work?" Roman grins, leaning forward onto his elbows, propping his chin on his hands. "Are you sure?"

"Roman," he warns.

"What? It's not like I was the only one who came to this conclusion about Thomas a second ago, you were instrumental in figuring it out, Specs."

"Roman."

"And we all know that you're way smarter than I am, so if you're going to take your own advice—which you should, then—"

"Alright!" Roman laughs as Logan buries his face in his hands, trying not to smile too obviously at the praise or blush from how many compliments Roman's just given him, "you've made your point, you can stop now."

"I think you mean I've just reiterated your point, but that's alright." A warm hand pats his shoulder. "You're doing great, Logan. You don't have to stress out about this right now. Thomas has earned a break and so have you, okay?"

"…I suppose there are a few things I've been waiting to do that could occupy my time."

"There you go!" Roman claps his hands and gets up, affectionately ruffling Logan's hair and dodging his attempts to swat him. "Let me know how it goes, I'd love to hear about whatever you're working on."

Logan aims another swat at his shoulder and misses, watching Roman sink out. He shakes his head, unable to keep the growing smile off his face as he thinks about his own projects. Yes, there are several things he could do, he could work on refining the data for the experiment, he could read that study he's been eyeing for a few days, he could look over the manuscript he's drafting…

It isn't until he gets back to his room with a different notebook open on his desk that he pauses.

Why had Roman been upset at the suggestion of transformation?

They had agreed upon resting and doing what they wanted, letting Thomas do what he wanted. They had agreed that resting was good, pursuing one's own passions was good. What about transformations had rankled Roman so? He hadn't directly addressed it—something virtually unheard of for Roman. Perhaps it had been something to do with the act of transforming itself? But no, Roman had always been among the first to thrill at being someone else, or pretending to be someone else. What had caused such a dramatic shift?

What sorts of transformations had they done recently? There had been the whole thing with Remus—Logan suppresses a shudder as he remembers Remus's song and everything that happened in it—but Roman had been unconscious for most of it. Aside from that, it had been…

Well, Janus had been transforming into them more often than not, but that was him, mostly, not Roman. And Patton had become the giant frog, but that hadn't really affected Roman that much either. No, the last time Roman had been the one transforming, it had been…for…

Logan stands up, eyes still fixed on a point in the distance as his mind races.

Roman hadn't transformed for himself. It had always been at the whim of someone else. Roman was Hopes and Dreams—Thomas's Hopes and Dreams. Roman did things for Thomas. He was Thomas's wants. Despite how often they all called him selfish, he…he didn't really fight for the things that he wanted.

Could he name a single thing that Roman wanted that wasn't something for Thomas?

I think you and I both know the dangers of believing you can work all the time.

There's nothing that Thomas isn't that we need to make him into.

"Oh, Roman," he whispers into the quiet room, "when did you get so good at hiding?"

He doesn't want to know the answer, but his mind is already coming up with a helpful list of every time he can remember where Roman let himself get pushed to the side, overruled, scolded, overlooked, for the sake of someone else. He thinks about the times where Roman had been obviously uncomfortable with what they wanted him to do, and then did it anyway. He thinks about how long it's been since he's actually heard Roman say what he wanted, not what Thomas wanted, not what Patton or Janus or even he wanted.

How long has it been since someone wanted Roman for Roman?

He looks back down at his desk and pulls out a different notebook. He's underestimated Roman. He won't go into this upcoming conversation unprepared.

***

He knocks on Roman's door as softly as he can, waiting for the quiet come in to push it open. Roman looks up from his—

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, no.

"Oh, Roman," he murmurs before he can stop himself, crouching next to Roman's slumped figure and carding a hand through his hair, "I'm so sorry."

"N-no, I'm sorry, 'm sorry, I can—" he scrubs a hand harshly across his face— "it's fine. What, um, what do you—"

Another sob interrupts him before he can finish asking if Logan needs anything, which only makes his chest ache all the more. He eases himself down next to Roman's buckled legs and wraps a comforting arm around his shoulders, pulling him close enough to wipe a thumb across his cheek.

"Shh," he says when Roman tries to speak again, "don't stress yourself. I'm not here for anything other than this, little one."

The pet name rolls off his tongue before he can stop it, but at the slightly wounded noise that leaves Roman's lips, he resolves to use them as often as he can. He scratches his nails lightly against his scalp, shushing him again when he tries to stifle another sob.

"I'm here because I realized I'd hurt you earlier," he continues, still speaking gently, "and I did not attempt to comfort you in any way. No, no—don't pull away from me, dear. Shh, don't fret, don't fret, I'm not upset—look at me, Roman, do I look upset?"

Roman's eyes, still filled with tears, roam frantically over his face. Logan keeps his expression as soft and open as he can, letting the concern write itself plainly over the furrow in his brow. After another moment, Roman sniffles and he's already reaching for the tissue box he can see perched haphazardly on the end of the desk. He takes it with a grateful mumble and blows his nose with a honk.

"You were right. You don't need to change to be worth something, or to be fixed. You don't need to become something you're not—oh, darling, hush, now," he says when Roman's eyes grow wide with distress, "I'm not angry, I'm not—oh, you poor thing."

For Roman had begun to sob in earnest, trying in equal parts to pull away from Logan's embrace and push himself near into his chest. Logan slides an arm under his legs and pulls them into his lap, tucking Roman's face into the crook of his neck and kissing the crown of his head. There's a moment where Roman tenses and he fears he might pull away, but then he all but collapses into him and buries his nose in Logan's shirt.

"There you go, little one, shh, it's alright. You can cry, crying is good. You're alright, you're safe, I'm right here." He runs his hand up and down Roman's back. "Shh, shh, that's it…that's it, my dear."

"Sorry—'m so sorry—"

"Shh-shh-shh, no apologies from you, not about this. You're overwhelmed and overworked, it's perfectly alright for you to be emotional right now. You can let it out, I don't mind at all. In fact, I'm here to help."

"Help?"

"Mm. You took great pains to comfort me earlier, even when I did not ask, and you," and here he gives Roman a little shake, "have not let anyone comfort you in quite a long time. So yes, I am here to comfort you, to help, and if that means letting you cry in my lap for as long as you need, then that is what I shall do."

"It's so hard," comes the sniffling whisper from under his chin, "I keep—I keep trying to be what they want but they don't know what they want and then it's my fault and I can't—they keep changing and wanting me to change and I can't—"

"Shh, shh…hush, my dear, it's alright. That's right, just let me hold you…"

They spend a great deal of time like that, curled up on the floor. Logan keeps carding his hand through Roman's hair, soothing away the more violent of sobs with gentle touches up and down his back or patting his chest. How long has Roman been holding this in? How long has it been since their prince has let himself fall apart without remorse? And how long has it been since they took pains enough to notice?

He pulls himself from his own thoughts when Roman's head turns, bumping slightly against his chin. He tilts his head to press a kiss to his temple, leaning back just enough to see the blotchy face come into view. Taking another tissue, he carefully dabs up the last of the tears he can see, holding it so Roman can blow his nose again.

"…thanks, Logan."

"Of course, my dear." He raises an eyebrow at the little shudder that goes through him. "No?"

"N-no, yes. Yes. Very much yes. Sorry."

"None of that now, my dear. Do you feel any better?"

"A little bit."

"That's excellent. Shall we sit here for a little longer, or do you want to move somewhere a little more comfortable?"

"C-can we just stay here for a little longer?"

"Of course we can." He runs his thumb over Roman's cheek again. "I am truly sorry it took me so long to figure out what was going on, little one. But I'm here now."

Roman averts his gaze and once again Logan is struck by how different Roman is right now; no longer does he see their fiery prince who so eloquently made him take his own advice mere hours ago, instead he sees a shell of a Side who shies away from a gentle touch like a dog too scared to eat. The comparison alone is enough to coax him to lean forward and kiss his cheek, cuddling him against his chest.

"I'm here now," he repeats, "let me look after you."

"You will?"

"Yes, Roman, I will. I'm right here—" he pulls him a little closer— "I've got you, little one, you're alright."

"I don't know what to do."

"Right now?"

"…anymore."

Logan's heart clenches in his chest and he forces the ache away, running his thumb over his cheek once more. "Well, what do you want to do right now?"

"I want to stay here."

"Then we shall stay here. And when you're ready to figure out what you want to do next," he says, adjusting them until they're both comfortable as can be, "I will be here to help."

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[incorrectsanderscharactersquotes]

Remus: Lol heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this Janus: What did you do Remus? Remus: A MISTAKE