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joshlmbrt · 2 months

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˚ ✦.·˖✶ ⋆.✧̣̇˚ SOMEONE WHO LOVES YOU WOULDN’T DO THIS | e. munson x reader

w; part of ‘truck driver!dad!eddie universe’ - but can be read as a standalone, parent death, grieving, mentions of pregnancy, eddie has a sister, usage of pet names, mentions of past alcoholic father

playlist; even if we try - night beds, infinity street - richard walters, let down - radiohead, a quick one before the eternal worm devours connecticut - have a nice life, family line - conan gray, waiting room - phoebe bridgers, motion sickness - phoebe bridgers, happier than ever - billie eilish, mum - luke hemmings, i’m tired - labrinth, zendaya, solas - gibran alcocer, think of me once in a while, take care - take care

an; this one is a bit deeper, i apologize. but i hope you all enjoy :)

NOVEMBER 15TH, 1989

Eddie didn’t know why he was here in a hospital waiting room, waiting for any news for the man who caused him torment for most of his life until had kicked him out of the trailer.

His knuckles rests against his chin as his eyes stare at the shiny floor. He’d left work without a word. He still smelled of grease and had tied the arms of his work uniform around his waist. He still hadn’t called you or Wayne. He knew you’d be getting worried, especially if Warren, his boss, had called and asked if everything was okay at your end.

He glances up at the time, standing from the uncomfortable chair that had made his lower half numb from sitting. He walked towards an exit - he needed a smoke and to call you.

He’s reaching into his pocket, pulling a cigarette from the pack and lights the stick with shaky hands. He hadn’t had one in almost three months, trying to stop since you were pregnant.

He broke his streak all because of his father - if he could even call him that.

His eyes land on a pay phone when he blows out some smoke, walking towards it. He lifts the phone from the receiver, pulling his wallet from the pocket on his shirt, fishing out some quarters.

He slots two into the machine, deciding to call Wayne first. He still needed to collect his thoughts on what to say to you. He knew as soon as he heard your caring and tender voice, he’d break down.

It picks up after the third ring. “Hello?”

Maybe he shouldn’t have called anyone. He can feel the burning of tears.

“Hello?” Wayne repeats.

“Uh,” Eddie clears his throat. “Alan’s in the hospital.” Eddie used to call him Dad, of course. But now that he’s older, he feels like he never earned that title.

It’s silent on the other end and Eddie glances towards the door where he can see a nurse in green scrubs leave a room. He brings the cigarette to his lips and inhales deeply.

Eddie clears his throat again, looking towards the silver keypad. “If you… wanna come to the hospital, I’m here too.”

Wayne asks if you’re there with him.

“No, she’s… she’s still at home. Would you mind-”

“No. I don’t mind pickin’ her up. We’ll be there soon.” The line goes dead before he could even say anything. He looks at the last two quarters he had laid out before slotting them into the machine again.

You pick up on the second ring.

“Hello? Eds?”

His heart clenches a bit and brows pinch together. “Hi, sweetheart.” He hears a sigh on the other end.

“Baby, jesus. Are you okay? Where did you go when you left work? Why didn’t you call me? I was worried sick when Warren called me and told me you left in a hurry.”

He scratches at his throat with his ring and pinky - he’s trying to sooth the knot forming in his throat. He shakes his head to himself - don’t cry. Do not cry. He doesn’t deserve the tears. “I’m okay, sweetheart, don’t worry your head,” The cigarette seemed to have burned faster and he hisses quietly when the heat tingles at his fingers. He drops it to the ground, stomping it out with the toe of his boot before picking it up from the ground.

“Wayne is coming to pick you up.” He says.

“What? Why? Eddie, honey, what’s going on?”

His fingers scratch at his temple and he shifts on his weight. “I… I’m at the hospital. And before you freak out, I’m okay. At least, I think I am. It’s kind of hard to know what I’m feeling right now. Or understand it.”

And he wasn’t lying - there were a bunch of emotions swirling around his mind and he didn't know which one stood out more.

Bitterness because his life was actually turning around - he’d gotten into school to study for truck driving and he was doing excellent. He was about to have his own little family with you. And now, somehow, Alan had wiggled his way back into his life even if he didn’t know it just yet.

Anger because there was nothing he could do besides sit there and feel as if he’s losing someone - something - who was never in his life and doesn’t deserve an ounce of sympathy.

Shame because he's feeling that anger bubble up in his chest when he knows Alan never really knew how to be a father so he can’t blame him fully for his actions.

“Baby, I'm so sorry,” Your voice is soft and it sounds like it cracks at the end of your apology that you shouldn’t even be giving him. Because he doesn’t care.

Right?

“Wayne and I will be there soon. He just pulled in,” There’s a small weight lifted off his shoulders knowing that he won’t be alone in his thoughts much longer. “Have you tried to call Jess?”

The weight is added back on. Jessica, his oldest sister who he hasn’t spoken to since she had left, doesn’t know anything. He doesn’t even know if she would answer the phone.

“No.” He finally says.

You let out a small sigh, deciding to drop the subject since you know how tender it is. “Okay. That’s okay, honey. We’ll be there soon, okay? I love you.”

There’s a small catch in his throat and he blinks away the tears that had dried up once, and decided to come back. “I love you.”

The line goes dead on the other in and he’s placing the telephone back onto the receiver, sniffing when his nose starts to tingle. He stuffs his hands into his pockets, walking towards the doors he exited out of.

His fingers graze over two quarters and he stops in his tracks.

He turns back towards the phone and pulls the telephone from the receiver once again, slotting the coins in and punches in Jessica’s number. He’s hoping it’s the same number or he would just be embarrassed by punching in the number of a ghost sister.

The phone picks up and he holds his breath.

“Hello?”

It’s Jessica. And the only way he knows is because he sounds like their mother - soft-spoken with a hint of raspiness around the edges of the spoken words.

“Uh, Jessica?” He asks, even though he knows for sure it’s her.

“Eddie? What’s going on? You okay?”

“I don’t exactly know,” He says truthfully. “Dad’s in the hospital. The doctor said he doesn’t have long.”

It’s silent on the other end. He wonders if she is feeling the way he feels at the moment. Confused and conflicted about the way he feels.

For a moment, he thinks she’s hung up the phone and walked away like she did before.

He doesn’t blame her.

But then again, he hates that this is the only time that they’ll talk until something else happens. Eddie and Jessica are the same - whether they like to admit it or not.

There’s a small sniffle over the other end. “I don’t know why you’re calling me about it. I could care less. Let him die.”

That makes Eddie’s heart clench a little, eyes closing slowly as his brows pinch together. “You… You can’t even try to come down. To see me at least?”

“A car works both ways, Eddie.”

The line goes dead then.

He stares at the telephone when he pulls it from the curtain of curls and blinks, a tear rolling down his flushed cheek. It’s bitter outside and Eddie can’t help but think why didn’t I bring a coat?

Why did this have to happen?

What’s next?

It only takes thirty more minutes after the call with Jessica to see you walk in.

You pause in front of his seat, fingers brushing back the fringe that rests against his forehead. “Hi, sugar. I’m here.” It’s soft spoken and the world seems to shatter then.

His shoulders shakes as he sobs, fingers pressing into his eye sockets before his arms wrap around your waist, face pressing into the small bump that was hiding under the sweatshirt you wore.

Your eyes tear up from his sobs, a gut wrenching, soul crushing sob that comes deep from burying it inside a metaphorical glass bottle - it shatters and leaks over.

Because you thought you could handle one more thing going inside that bottle.

His head rests on your shoulder and Wayne had gone back first to see Alan.

‘It’ll give you a bit of time.’

Your thumb traces over his knuckles and you lift your shoulder slightly to catch his attention. “You okay, baby?”

He nods, lifting his head as he sniffles, nose red. He lifts his hand, wiping at his wet cheeks. He opens his mouth but you’re quick to cut him off.

“It’s okay,” He turns to look at you, brown eyes swimming in tears. His chin wobbles. Your hand lifts and you give him a small smile. “You don’t have to say anything right now. I know it’s confusing how you feel. But when you’re ready to talk, I’ll listen for however long you need me too.”

He nods, cheek sliding against your palm. There’s a clearing of a throat that catches his attention. He sees Wayne, a man who he’s only seen cry twice.

When Mary passed away - Eddie’s aunt who made the best homemade cobblers and had a singing voice you could never forget.

And when his own mother passed. A woman who smelled of cinnamon and hints of vanilla honey. A woman who truly was an angel and would do anything for anyone.

This makes Eddie’s third time seeing Wayne’s swollen eyes.

He’s crying for his brother now.

“You can, uh-” He pauses, clearing his throat as he shifts on his tired feet, blinking a couple of times as he sniffs. “You can go back and see him.”

Eddie looks over at you and you smile at him softly, leaning in to press a kiss to his temple. “I’m right here.” You whisper softly.

His eyes close momentarily and he nods against your lips before standing slowly.

His steps are slow, his mind's racing, and his hands are fuzzy. He makes a fist a couple of times before shaking them out.

The last time he’s seen Alan was when his face was plastered on the news for a break and entering he was running from - now he’s in a bed with tubes poked into his arm.

His breath hitches and he flinches when the heavy door closes.

He glances over his shoulder before walking towards the right side of bed, staring down at his hand. His own hand twitches at his side.

He lifts it, fingers tracing over the course and rough skin of his fathers hand. He watches as Alan’s fingers twitch and his eyes dart up towards his face.

His eyes are heavy, but they're open.

“Why did you hate me?” It’s coming out of his mouth before he can stop himself. He didn’t know what he wanted to say, or what he was going to say - but that wasn’t in his mind.

“Why did you hate us?”

There’s a slow blink and a small quirk at the corner of his lips. Eddie’s brows pinches and he feels the all too familiar sting in his eyes as he notices it.

Even near death, he’s a man dulled by any sort of emotion.

Eddie leans down slowly. “I’m so glad I’ll never be like you,” There’s a certain fire to his voice - raw emotion that makes the words crack. “Mom deserved better than you. Jess deserved a better father than you. I deserved better,”

His hands clench at the bedsheets. “Why? Why did you do what you did?”

He sees a small quirk in Alan’s lips again, anger burning in his chest when he hears the flatline. His head whips around before his hands grip at the hospital gown covering his chest.

“No! No! Why?! I want an answer! I deserve an answer!” The doors are opening and he feels a tugging at his arm. “No! Get off of me!” His arms slip from the grip and his arms are gripping at the tattooed arms of Alan Munson’s dead body.

“Wake up, you coward!”

“Eddie!”

“I hate you! I’m glad you’re dead! I wished you would’ve died sooner!”

He’s sobbing and hitting Alan's chest, but he’s still babbling, ‘why? Why did you make me feel this way?’.

Your hands pull at his arms, pulling him away from the lifeless body who left in silence again like he always did.

Eddie’s head drops onto your shoulder, knees buckling as he grabs at your shirt. Your hands smooth back his hair as your eyes watch them roll Alan away.

Wayne’s hand meets the back of his neck, gripping softly. Eddie chokes out another sob and turns to lean into Wayne. Your forehead leans against Eddie’s back.

Wayne’s eyes close, a hand cupping the back of Eddie’s head. “It’s okay… It’s okay, son.”

Wayne has to keep Eddie’s legs from buckling, his arm wrapping around his back and keeping him up straight as he sags into him.

NOVEMBER 20TH, 1989

There’s a certain distinct smell to old photos.

Eddie couldn’t describe it if he could, but he still pulls the photo up to his nose, eyes closing as he inhales, hoping to catch a whiff of the day that was frozen in time permanently.

His hand pulls away from his nose dejectedly, finger tracing over the small version of him standing in front of his mom, her hand placed on top of the sunflower floppy hat that she always loved to wear on sunny picnic days.

He always remembers those days. She would try her best - make finger sandwiches, little lemon bars, and pack some fruit and chips on the side - and Alan would sip a cheap beer on the open field, eyes filled with a certain emotion Eddie could never place when he was younger.

Now he thinks he could place it - Anger. Resentment.

“I hope he looks like you.” Eddie flinches when he hears your voice. He has no energy to turn and look at you - he feels angry at himself that he can’t, but you’d never hold it against him.

He feels you sit down on the rough carpet, the feeling of sandpaper scraping against the palm of your hands when you make a small noise. You lean into his side, pushing an unruly curl away from his cheek.

“You okay?” You whisper softly.

His thumb traces over the picture, blinking slowly. “I remember this day,” He says instead. Your eyes cut away from him and look at the photo. There’s a small smile that plays on his lips. “It was Wayne, Jess, Mom, and I only… That was one of our happier picnics.”

You smile and reach out to turn his hand a bit so you can take a better look at the photo. “She's beautiful. Now I know where you get your looks from.”

He smiles a bit and places it in the keep pile. There weren't many photos he was keeping.

The throw away pile was a bit more.

The next photo he pulls from the shoe box that had chewed holes from rats and a tear in the side was one that made him stop a bit.

Alan sits on the ratty flannel recliner that he always refused to get rid of, a beer bottle in his hand while Eddie sits on his lap.

Blind by child joy, he’s grinning - two missing teeth - as he waves at the camera, baby hairs stuck to his forehead.

Alan sits back, mouth pulled into a frown as he stares at the camera.

Your hand rubs at his back.

“He couldn’t even hold me right.”

You know what’s coming when your ears pick up on the catch in his voice.

He turns to look at you, lip wobbling as he shakes his head. “Why did he hate me so much?”

Your head tilts and you pull him closer to your chest, holding his head when you feel his shoulders start to shake.

You couldn’t answer that even if you wished you could.

There’s a knock at the door. Eddie glances over at you, shifting in the bed as he pulls the covers up more over your shoulder.

He places a kiss against your forehead, smiling softly when he notices your nose scrunches softly.

He turns and walks towards the living room, flipping on a light. He unlocks the door and swings it open.

“Hey.”

He’s a bit sleep disoriented from the little sleep he had. He blinks. “Jessica?”

She smiles softly. “I, uh… I couldn’t come to the funeral.” It’s too final. I don’t want to see him again.

He nods. “It’s okay.” I understand. You don’t have to apologize.

She scratches at her neck and clears her throat, a tell. He steps closer, staring at her for a moment, nodding slightly.

It’s choked but a sound leaves her throat and she tries blinking away the tears. His arms wrap around her neck, her own arms immediately wrapping around his side.

“I’m sorry,” She breathes out shakily. “I’m so, so sorry. I should’ve… I should’ve been there with you.”

He shakes his head. “Don’t apologize. You did what I wished I could.” He pulls away, giving her a small smile - it’s shaky.

“It’s… I should’ve called you more. I should’ve come to visit you more. Now… now you’re gonna be a dad.”

He smiles softly, nodding. “And you’re gonna be an aunt.”

The laugh she lets out is watery and she wraps her arms around his neck again. “You’re gonna be the best dad.”

His eyes squeeze shut at that because he’s been afraid. Afraid that he’ll become his dad even when he doesn’t want to.

“I’m so proud of you, Eds.” It’s whispered.

He lets out a little sigh, eyes peeking up at the stars. He watches as one shoots across.

Hi, Mom. I miss you.

“I’m proud of you too, Jess.”

ᡣ𐭩 thanks for reading. reblogs, comments, likes, & feedback is welcomed, encouraged, & deeply appreciated.

— @stveharringtn 2024

[ special tag; @corrodedcherry ]

#cherry writes ✿#eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson angst #joseph quinn x reader

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gonesgone · 1 year

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[🧷] / so close, yet so far, part one.

[🧷] \ bridging the gap, part two.

[🫀] / heart to heart, part three.

— synopsis: Izogie comes face to face with her emotions, as well as her past in regards to love.

— pairing: Izogie x black!fem!reader.

— warnings: angst, discussions of loss and grief.

— author’s note: firstly, thank you all so much for journeying with this story. seeing your love and support was really reassuring to me. this last part is long (at least 10k words) but I believe it’s worth it. take care, everyone! — side note: I highly recommend listening to the music attached as you read. it helps to set the mood.

— taglist: @shinsousliya @manibaby13-blog @thewifeoflevi @briacreations96

it’s happening again.

that was the thought that crossed Izogie’s mind when she saw you laying in the middle of the courtyard, lifeless.

after hearing Amenza’s words, her feet had ran directly towards the palace to confirm that they were not true.

“y/n isn’t breathing.”

the weight of those words bore down on her body like a heavy boulder. the sun’s sweltering heat only adding to her already brewing headache.

this has to be some sort of a sick joke, Izogie thought, her heart racing a mile a minute.

when i enter this gate, she’ll be there waiting.

for me.

but upon arrival, the entire place was filled to the brim with people. the agojie, Migan’s men, palace workers, trainees, King Ghezo’s wives and other tribal leaders who came ahead of time for festival day.

as everyone talked amongst themselves, Izogie pushed past their bodies to get to the front. she was covered in sweat, a serious expression on her face. despite the crowd, she managed to make it up close and that was when she saw you.

a look of disbelief instantly found its way onto her face as she slowly approached your frame.

on the ground, your body was limp with bruises all over. you had a black eye that was turning a dark shade of purple. fresh blood stained your lips from a cut you sustained and there was sand on your uniform and in your hair.

before she could get any closer, Nanisca stepped in front, blocking her way.

“Izogie,” the older woman called out.

she didn’t even look at her, gaze still focused on you.

“you shouldn’t be here,” Nanisca continued, her tone filled with worry.

“miganon,” Izogie spoke, her firm voice wavering. “that’s not her, right?”

Nanisca sighed as she held Izogie’s arms.

“please, go back to your quarters. i will brief you on what happened in the evening but for now, just go.”

Izogie swallowed hard.

“tell me that’s not her.”

a pitiful look spread across Nanisca’s face as Izogie’s voice cracked.

“tell me that’s not her and i’ll leave.”

the miganon’s head hung low.

“i cannot do such a thing.”

Izogie’s lips trembled as she stepped to the side, attempting to reach you. Nanisca held her back tightly.

“no one is allowed close to her body until the physician gets here.”

the younger’s jaw clenched, tears welling in her eyes. she stepped forward again, trying to break free from Nanisca’s grasp.

“miganon, please.”

the older woman locked her hands around her body.

“i’m sorry, my child.”

Izogie began thrashing around in Nanisca’s hands. she could feel her throat tightening as her teardrops fell. looking down on you, she felt like she couldn’t breathe.

why?

why was this happening again?

now, the entire courtyard was watching. Nanisca quickly motioned over two agojie soldiers. they held Izogie back as her cries filled their ears.

“bring her back to her quarters,” Nanisca said firmly. “make sure she stays there.”

immediately, Izogie’s legs gave out. as all four of them knelt on the ground, a trance-like expression appeared on her face. it was as if her body had decided to shut down right then and there.

in that moment, the palace physician arrived and ordered for your body to be moved to the infirmary.

the miganon sighed as she gently cupped her successor’s face. the younger’s eyes already seemed so far away.

“be strong, Izogie. for her.”

she then got up and turned on her heel to follow those carrying you. Izogie watched, unable to move.

for the remainder of the afternoon, the physician worked on you. he had Nanisca doing chest compressions as he mixed all sorts of herbs and applied them to your wounds.

outside, Migan was doing his best to keep the order and Amenza went to her quarters to pray with her sacred stones.

by nightfall, news spread that you had regained your breathing. the palace rejoiced upon hearing that you were alive, but there was still an issue.

you were not conscious.

Amenza was tasked with relaying your condition to Izogie but when she arrived, she was heartbroken to see the state her friend was in.

few candles lit up the space and Izogie was sitting with her back against the wall, a blank stare on her face. her brown eyes were devoid of all emotion and Amenza noticed the untouched plate of food the others had brought.

she sat down next to her and gently held one of her hands. it was silent for a while until she spoke softly.

“she’s breathing. we thank the ancestors.”

instantly, Izogie’s hand squeezed hers tightly without saying anything. they watched the candle flames together.

“i want to see her,” the younger said, voice hoarse.

Amenza sighed.

“i’m afraid that is not possible.”

Izogie inhaled and exhaled deeply as she kept her gaze straight ahead.

“why not?”

a heavy pause.

“they say she is in a coma.”

Izogie slowly retracted her hand and turned her body away. Amenza held onto her shoulder.

“i know it’s not what you want to hear but at least it’s not worse. we just have to wait and pray tha—.”

her sentence was cut short.

“Amenza,” Izogie said, voice low and filled with exhaustion. “please leave. i want to be by myself.”

this was a request that a huge part of Amenza wanted to deny. she knew Izogie. if left alone, her friend would think herself into a mental hole she could not come out of.

she’d seen it happen before.

but at the same time, the only thing she herself had to offer Izogie in this moment was space. so, Amenza forced herself to stand up.

“i’m always here for you,” she said. “we all are.”

she squeezed her shoulder and then headed out.

after that night, more than a week had gone by and you were still unconscious. as for Izogie, she had stopped speaking entirely. she only ate and bathed with the help of Nanisca, Amenza and some others, but she never left her quarters. not even to see you.

it was as though time came to a halt for her.

on the other hand, King Ghezo canceled festival day. he believed there was nothing to celebrate, seeing as such an incident took place just a couple feet away from the throne room.

instead, he was going to hold a council meeting to discuss what transpired. afterwards, the punishment for Nanare and the other girls would be announced.

Izogie was one of the people Ghezo wanted in attendance and Nanisca was sent to deliver the message in the evening.

upon entering, Nanisca saw her sitting in the same spot she’d always seen her sitting in, staring at the same wall she’d always seen her staring at.

Izogie made no movements as the miganon sat down next to her. they both looked across the room and soon, the elder spoke.

“there’s a meeting about the matter tomorrow. the King wants you there.”

Izogie said nothing, eyes still. Nanisca continued.

“i need to know that you’ll be there. you cannot continue on like this. it’s not good physically or mentally.”

they both sat in silence, the sounds of crickets and indistinct chatter from the outside filling the air.

then, for the first time in a while, she spoke.

“miganon, i was late again.”

Nanisca turned to her with a confused look.

“what do you mean?”

Izogie stared for a couple more seconds before reaching into her pocket. she pulled out the bracelet she had bought you at the marketplace and handed it over. Nanisca eyed the piece of jewelry as she waited for the younger to talk.

“that day, after we got meat for festival day, i went to buy her that. i was late because of it.”

a sigh left Nanisca’s lips.

“do you blame yourself? for not being back in time?”

“how can i not?” Izogie asked, voice low and raspy. “while i wasted time picking that out for her, she was over here getting—.”

the sentence couldn’t even roll off her tongue.

“Izogie,” Nanisca began. “it is not your fault. none of us could’ve known that something like this would happen.”

a grimace appeared on her face.

“something like this has already happened before. you and i both know how that story ended.”

she paused for a second before scoffing bitterly.

“the ancestors must be punishing me for not learning my lesson the first time.”

“and what lesson would that be?” Nanisca asked.

“love makes you weak,” Izogie said through gritted teeth. “if i had not been occupied with thoughts of making her happy, i would’ve never gone to the marketplace. i would’ve been here in time.”

“you’re a human being,” Nanisca said. “wanting to love and be loved does not make you weak.”

tears pooled around Izogie’s eyes.

“what has love itself ever brought me? nothing but pain and heartache.”

“is that why you have not gone to see her?”

she lowered her head, voice coming out strained.

“i cannot bring myself to go. it’ll hurt too much.”

Nanisca swung her hand over to hold her shoulders tightly.

“we’re the agojie,” she said. “we do not shy away from pain. instead, we have to learn and heal from it.”

“i’m tired of learning and healing.”

“then i’m afraid you cannot become the next miganon.”

Izogie looked up at her in shock.

“what?”

Nanisca began. “if you cannot learn and heal from your pain, especially ones that concern matters of the heart, you cannot lead the others.”

Izogie fell silent as she continued.

“every time we step onto the battlefield and we lose a warrior, it feels as though i have lost my own child. each time, the pain is more unbearable than the last. but i need to keep pushing. if i let it consume me, we will all fall apart.”

“how do you do it?” the younger asked.

“one foot in front of the other, one day at a time. our fallen would want me to carry their memories into battle. they would not want me to sit by, dwelling on their deaths. it is so hard on certain days but i keep going. for you all, and for them.”

Nanisca gently held Izogie’s face as she spoke.

“there is something you once said to my daughter and i would like to say it back to you. you are powerful. more than you even know. do not give your power away to pain and what if’s. go and see her. cry all night if you need to. then, come to council tomorrow and keep pushing. it’s what she would want."

she placed the bracelet back in her palm and pulled her in for a tight hug. they stayed that way a while.

as night fell, the miganon took her leave and Izogie went to the infirmary. the physician greeted her before proceeding to step out, giving the two of you space.

off to the side, you were laying still in a bed with your eyes closed. your chest rose and dropped softly as she approached. some of your wounds seemed to be healing already and overall, you looked peaceful.

Izogie sat at your side, gently taking one of your hands into hers. she then brought her lips to your knuckles, softly kissing them. her eyes watched you for a while before she pulled out the bracelet.

as she clasped it shut around you, she placed a tender kiss on your inner wrist. one that lingered for a moment. for the remainder of the night, Izogie slept at your side with her hand wrapped around yours.

the next day, the council meeting was held in the throne room. it was mid-afternoon and some were arriving from lunch while others came from their previous duties.

in attendance was King Ghezo, Queen Shante, Nanisca, Amenza, Izogie and the palace physician.

guards stood in far corners of the walls, surveying the space. everyone took their seats and when they all settled in, Ghezo spoke.

“you all know why we are gathered here today so let us not beat around the bush.”

he motioned over with his hand.

“bring them in.”

the large doors swung open and Nanare, along with the other two girls, walked in. their hands were tied in ropes and two other agojie soldiers followed behind them. when they reached the front, all three of them kneeled as the soldiers stood at their backs.

Izogie watched Nanare with a blank expression on her face, gaze unwavering.

“Nanare, Nanare, Nanare,” Ghezo began, a look of disdain on his face. “you were one of the trainees Nanisca told me to look forward to. what a shame.”

Nanare’s head hung low as she spoke.

“i’m sorry, my King.”

“i’m sorry, too,” he said. “i should’ve never allowed a person like you to enter the palace in the first place.”

he pointed his fingers at them as he continued.

“can you even explain to me why you, dumb and dumber, did what you did to that girl?”

silence filled the room.

none of the girls said anything and soon, Ghezo started clapping.

“so now none of you can talk? Shante told me she heard the rumors you three were spreading about her. your mouths were running like parrots before but now you can’t talk?”

Nanisca got up and stood in front of the three.

“the King has asked you a question. respond.”

again, silence.

Izogie’s jaw clenched as one of her legs started to bounce. Amenza quickly placed a hand on her knee to calm her down. Ghezo continued.

“since none of you want to speak, let us speed this up. you three will not waste my time today.”

he turned his head to the physician and asked.

“how long has the girl been unconscious for?”

the man spoke. “in three more days, it’ll be two weeks, my King.”

Ghezo nodded and addressed the room.

“then here’s how we will proceed. in three days time, if the girl these three put in a coma is not awake, they shall all be put to death.”

the eyes of the other two girls instantly widened as Nanare showed no reaction. Amenza shot up from her seat, utter disbelief on her face. Izogie’s features had a stone cold look to them and Nanisca turned to speak, concern in her tone.

“my King, we’re not here to kill our own.”

Ghezo scoffed.

“they stopped being ‘our own’ when they decided to beat their fellow comrade within an inch of her life.”

Amenza stepped forward, worry filling her voice.

“they are still Dahomey, no matter what they’ve done. i’m begging you to consider exiling them.”

the two girls who had begun crying furiously nodded their heads in agreement.

“please, just send us away.”

“we beg of you. don’t do this to us.”

“silence,” boomed Queen Shante’s voice. the girls quickly tucked in their quivering lips as she looked down on them. “how dare you speak when you were not spoken to?”

Shante turned her head to look at the others.

“i agree with my husband.”

Nanisca sighed.

“this is too harsh a sentence. i know we’re all frustrated but we cannot resort to this. i vote for exile.”

the Queen rolled her eyes.

“how do we look to the other tribes if we let those who caused harm to us, as well as broke our trust, walk free? they will think we’ve grown weak.”

she turned to the King.

“imagine them thinking of us as weak. we cannot have that.”

Amenza spoke, a confused look on her face.

“since when did we concern ourselves with the thoughts of others? exile is the best punishment to pass down. we can move on from it quickly and work on rebuilding our unity. we already see enough death as it is.”

the entire room waited for Ghezo to speak and in that moment, his eyes fell on Izogie.

she had not said a single word about the sentence and her searing gaze was still on Nanare.

“Izogie,” he called out. “what are your thoughts?”

“it does not matter what i think,” she said, still not looking at the King.

Ghezo sighed.

“i know this must be hard for you. Nanisca told me that you and the girl were very good friends.”

Izogie said nothing as he continued.

“the members of this council are on two different sides. since you will be miganon soon, i would like you to voice your opinion. whatever you choose will be the final decision.”

everyone fell silent.

they awaited Izogie’s next words.

tension hung heavy in the air.

one could’ve heard a pin drop.

then,

“i vote for their deaths.”

ear piercing screams rang out from the two girls as they began weeping loudly. Nanisca let out a deep exhale, a distressed look appearing on her face.

“Izogie,” Amenza exclaimed, pure shock on her face. “what do you think you’re doing?”

she quickly stood in front of the younger, speaking with urgency.

“take back what you just said. you cannot be in support of this. it is not who you are.”

Izogie got up to meet her at eye level, face stoic.

“Amenza,” she said, tone deadly serious. “if these three are exiled and she does not wake up, you know who i am. i will find every single one of them and handle it myself. exile was never an option.”

Amenza furrowed her eyebrows.

“are you that blinded by rage that you cannot reason? an eye for an eye makes nothing right.”

“i’m not trying to make anything right,” Izogie spat, voice rising. “if someone harmed any of the agojie, i would not allow that person to see the next light of day. do you want to know why? because you are all my family.”

she paused, pain engulfing her eyes as the next words came out strained.

“i’m in love with that woman. why would i not do for her what i would do for you? and even more?”

Amenza’s lips parted slightly, unable to form words.

for what seemed like an eternity, no one spoke.

then,

small laughter could be heard.

it came from Nanare.

all eyes instantly shifted to her.

she started off with a low chuckle but soon, the sound erupted from her chest, filling the room.

confusion fell upon the faces of all as this continued.

well, almost all.

before anyone could speak, Izogie was already walking towards Nanare. she clutched the collar of her shirt, yanking her up to her feet.

“laugh again,” Izogie said through gritted teeth. “i dare you.”

the two agojie soldiers from behind stepped forward to separate the two but Ghezo stopped them.

a smirk appeared on Nanare’s face.

“you’re already sentencing me to death,” she said. “the least you can do is let me laugh at this little show you’re putting on.”

Izogie threw her down to the ground hard.

Nanare’s body made a loud thud as she winced in pain, struggling to stand. Nanisca took a step forward but Ghezo also motioned for her to stop.

Izogie squatted down next to Nanare, sitting the girl upright. she then wrapped her hands tightly around the younger’s hair, tugging it harshly. they both locked eyes with each other.

“you don’t feel remorse for what you did, do you?”

the other shrugged, trying to keep her composure.

“your girlfriend was weak. i can’t feel sorry for those who can’t hold their own.”

Izogie punched her right in the face.

the force sent Nanare’s body colliding with the floor. her nose started bleeding heavily but Izogie could care less. she grabbed the younger and sat her up again.

Amenza quickly spoke.

“my King, this is going too far. allow us to stop it.”

Ghezo said nothing as he watched the scene unfold.

Nanare’s head was hanging low, blood dripping onto her uniform. Izogie lifted her chin up, digging her nails into the sides of her jaw. a small whimper escaped Nanare’s lips as Izogie looked down on her.

“it was the three of you against her but you say she couldn’t hold her own?”

Izogie delivered a hot slap to Nanare’s cheek.

“you call her weak?”

she slapped her again.

“in front of me?”

another slap.

tears fell from Nanare’s eyes as her cries were muffled. Izogie smirked, the whites of her teeth showing.

“would you like to fight me instead? here and now?”

Nanisca instantly stepped forward, separating them.

“Izogie, you’re not fighting this girl,” she said firmly.

Izogie stood up to face her, fire behind her eyes.

“miganon, allow me to do this. for her.”

Nanisca shook her head no.

“if you call for a challenge, it would be an unfair fight towards Nanare. i will not allow my successor to stoop to that level.”

Izogie’s tongue poked the inside of her cheek, just as Nanare was shuffling to her feet. when the younger eventually got up, she staggered towards Izogie. Nanisca held Izogie’s shoulder back as Nanare spoke, blood staining her teeth.

“you seem so intent on fighting for that girl. if only you had this much zeal to fight for my sister.”

the brows of both women furrowed as a puzzled look found its way onto the faces of those in the room.

“what?” Izogie asked, tone low.

Nanare spat blood onto the ground.

“you really don’t know who I am, do you?”

Izogie’s face displayed an even more perplexed look as Nanisca spoke, her own patience wearing thin.

“enough with this nonsense. if you claim to know Izogie, enlighten the room on how.”

she sniffled as she stepped forward to Izogie, mere inches separating their faces.

“I am Nanare, the younger sister of Nossa.”

Queen Shante’s eyes immediately widened as she covered her mouth in shock. Amenza’s mouth hung open, a stunned look on her face. Nanisca blinked rapidly, absolutely awestruck.

as for Izogie, her entire body had gone rigid. it was as though a cold chill had run down her spine, leaving her completely paralyzed.

Nossa.

a name she hadn’t heard out loud in so long.

“what is happening?” Ghezo asked. he seemed quite surprised and confused by the reactions.

“who is Nossa?”

upon hearing her name again, Izogie felt like all the wind inside her had been knocked out. she fell to her knees, a dazed look on her face.

Nanare looked down at her kneeling figure, tears falling from her own eyes.

“now you remember,” she said. “when my sister needed you, you were not there. you told her you loved her but you were not there.”

Izogie inhaled shakily as her lips trembled.

why?

why was she being reminded of that memory again?

had she not suffered enough?

Nanare swallowed hard, spitting her next words out with spite and conviction.

“do your best not to forget that Nossa died because of you.”

utter anguish spread throughout Izogie’s face as teardrops fell from her eyes.

before anyone could speak, the doors to the throne room swung wide open.

standing in front was a boy. he was the helper of the palace physician. beads of sweat trickled down his forehead as he spoke rapidly, not even trying to catch his breath.

“my King, i’m sorry for entering like this but i need the doctor.”

the palace physician spoke.

“what is it, my child?”

“the girl who is in a coma,” he said. “she’s having a seizure as we speak.”

immediately, the physician, Nanisca and Amenza ran out with the boy. Ghezo ordered for the soldiers to take Nanare and the other girls back to their holding cells as he left with Queen Shante.

in the middle of the throne room, Izogie knelt with a tear stricken face, unable to move.

at the infirmary, the wooden doors burst open and Nanisca saw you convulsing in bed. she quickly rushed to hold you down in place as the others ran in. the physician noticed what she was doing and ordered her to stop.

“no, no, no. you must not do that,” he said, tone frantic. “we need to lay her down on the floor.”

he quickly cleared the ground of chairs and small objects. Amenza held your feet tightly while Nanisca gripped underneath your armpits. you were still writhing as they set you down.

the physician turned to the boy.

“grab the covers and roll them up. place them under her head for protection.”

he quickly did as he was told.

“is there not some medicine we can give her?” Amenza asked, visibly scared.

the physician knelt beside you.

“a person suffering a seizure must not have anything put in their mouth.”

“so what are you saying?” Nanisca questioned. “are we just supposed to sit here and watch this happen?”

a solemn look appeared on the man’s face.

“i’m afraid so. if the seizure is not severe, it should stop soon. all we can do it wait.”

instantly, Amenza began praying over your body. after a couple minutes passed by, you stopped shaking. the physician tilted your head back gently and checked your airways.

“she is breathing. we thank our ancestors.”

Nanisca and the boy let out a sigh of relief as Amenza held your hand. for the remainder of the night, they all worked on taking care of you. each of them even took turns watching you as you slept.

the next day, your condition was stable enough.

but there was another issue.

no one had seen Izogie since yesterday afternoon. she was nowhere to be found in the palace or around the village.

Amenza had suggested forming a search party to look for her but Nanisca decided against it.

“Izogie needs time alone,” she said. “it’s been a while since we’ve talked about Nossa. seeing her sister must’ve come as a huge shock.”

due to yesterday’s events, training was suspended for today. Amenza decided to use the opportunity to pay Nanare a visit. as she arrived at the holding cell, the guards opened the door and she stepped inside.

the space was relatively dark, the only light sources coming from small holes atop the walls. the floor was bare and sitting on the ground was Nanare.

when she noticed Amenza, she stood up and bowed her head slightly. her nose was wrapped in a white bandage and the side of her face was swollen.

“please, sit,” Amenza said.

they both took a seat and looked up at the holes, watching dust particles dance in the air. for a while, neither spoke.

then, Nanare turned to her and asked.

“is she alive?”

Amenza shook her head yes.

Nanare nodded as well and went back to looking up. they sat in silence again for a couple of seconds.

“why did you do it?”

“do what?”

“the beating.”

the younger sighed, a somber look on her face.

“what ended up happening that day. it was never my intention.”

Amenza gave her a confused look.

“if you didn’t mean for it to happen, why were you so angry at her in the first place?”

Nanare fiddled with her fingers as she took in a deep breath, exhaling shakily.

“ever since I came here,” she began. “every time I saw y/n and Izogie, I would think to myself, it’s going to happen again.”

“what’s going to happen again?”

“what happened to Nossa.”

Amenza looked taken aback by her words.

“is that why you spread rumors about y/n?”

Nanare nodded.

“I saw how close her and Izogie were getting and I wanted to do anything that could separate them. Izogie isn’t a good person. I didn’t want what happened to my sister to happen to y/n.”

Amenza paused, a sigh leaving her lips.

“why do you blame Izogie?”

Nanare swallowed hard, finding it difficult to speak.

“take your time.”

the younger nodded and soon, she began the tale.

“you know how Nossa was studying to become a seamstress in our village, right?”

Amenza gave her a warm smile.

“I remember. every time the agojie passed through, we always noticed her beautiful clothing. sometimes, we even caught her sneaking a peek at us.”

Nanare smiled softly.

“it was always Nossa’s dream to design and make clothes for the agojie. she admired you all, even though she was the weakest in our family.”

she paused before continuing.

“around that time was when she first laid eyes on Izogie. I believe it was the first time my sister ever fell in love.”

“you know,” Amenza said. “Nossa was Izogie’s first love too.”

Nanare scoffed playfully.

“I figured. there was always a youthfulness to them. they constantly snuck around to meet each other and some days, Nossa would come home with gifts that were only made in the palace.”

“did you ever have any issue with their relationship?” Amenza asked.

“no,” the younger said. “I was the only person in our family who knew. I was just happy that my older sister was happy. then, that day came.”

Amenza held one of Nanare’s hands and squeezed it as she continued.

“Nossa told me that she would be meeting Izogie somewhere and I begged her to let me go with her. I was quite young at the time and I wanted to see an agojie soldier up close. she was a bit hesitant at first but she finally gave in. when we got there, we waited for a while but Izogie never showed up.”

tears started welling in her eyes.

“as we kept waiting, we heard the sound of warning drums in the distance. apparently, an enemy tribe was attacking our village. Nossa quickly took my hand and we ran deep into the forest; but one of the attackers had spotted us.”

a teardrop fell from Nanare’s cheeks as Amenza swung her hand over to hold her shoulders.

“by the time we realized we were being pursued, Nossa only had time to hide me in some dense bushes. then—.”

Nanare stopped talking as her head hung low, tears falling in her lap. Amenza held her tightly as she spoke between sobs.

“the man kept asking Nossa where I was but she wouldn’t say anything.”

at this point, her body was shaking.

“in that moment, I remembered shutting my eyes and praying so desperately for Izogie to show up. when I eventually opened them, my sister was laying in a pool of her own blood. the man long gone.”

Nanare’s cries filled the space.

“I wished Nossa was strong enough to defend herself without needing someone. did you know that Izogie didn’t even come to see Nossa’s body until a week later? I wish my sister never met her. maybe, she would still be here.”

a look of realization appeared on Amenza’s face.

“so that’s why you were angry at y/n for being weak. she reminds you of Nossa, doesn’t she?”

Nanare shook her head slowly as she sniffled.

“y/n is a good person with a kind heart. I acknowledge that. I’m just worried that one day, on the battlefield, she’ll be in need of help and not I or Izogie can do anything for her. I don’t want to relive that again.”

Amenza held Nanare’s head gently and placed it on her shoulder. she wrapped her arms around her body and they both sat in silence for a while.

soon, she spoke.

“would you like me to tell you why Izogie couldn’t be there that day?”

Nanare quickly looked up at her.

“it all started with a gift.”

“a gift?”

Amenza nodded.

“that day Izogie was supposed to meet your sister, she told me she was going to give her something special. the plan was that when evening came, Izogie would pick up the gift from Queen Shante and then head out.”

the younger’s eyes immediately widened.

“Queen Shante? she knew they were together?”

Amenza smiled.

“Queen Shante visited your family’s shop frequently because she loved Nossa’s clothing. she wanted your sister to be her personal seamstress one day. on one of her usual visits, she happened to stumble upon the two. she wasn’t upset though. Izogie said she even swore on the spot to keep them a secret.”

“so what was the gift then?” Nanare asked.

“well, the Queen knew how much Izogie wanted to impress Nossa. so, she had one of our traders go to Ouidah to buy mulberry silk. it is the most expensive silk fabric on the market but Queen Shante didn’t care. she really adored the two.”

“then what happened?”

“everything went wrong.”

Nanare listened intently.

“Queen Shante was in a council meeting that ran late so Izogie had to wait a little longer. when they finally wrapped up, they headed to the Queen’s quarters to get the silk. as they reached the entrance, they both heard the warning drums. the village was under attack and some of the enemies were already in the palace grounds.”

Amenza sighed as she continued.

“in that moment, the only person on Izogie’s mind was your sister. so, she locked the Queen inside her cupboard as a way to protect her and ran out. as she was figuring out which route would be the fastest to Nossa, she ran into Nanisca.”

a slight chuckle bubbled from Amenza.

“Izogie was so adamant about leaving and that was how the miganon found out. Nanisca was angry that Izogie hid something like that from her but she understood nonetheless. as she was telling Izogie of a secret route, Ghezo appeared in front of them. there was nothing they could do. as part of the agojie, one of our duties is to protect the royal family. so, they stayed and fought.”

Nanare looked at Amenza, utter shock on her face. because she was always so angry at Izogie, her mind never once considered the possibility that maybe, just maybe, Izogie really did try her best to reach Nossa.

the younger’s jaw quickly clenched in anger.

“if that was the case, why did Izogie not come to see my sister after the fighting stopped? why did she wait a whole week to come see the woman she said she loved?”

a sorrowful look formed on Amenza’s face.

“Nanare,” she said. “think back to the times you’ve seen Izogie. have you ever noticed a long, jagged scar on the right side of her neck?”

Nanare thought about it for a bit before nodding.

“yes, i have seen it. all the trainees always wondered how someone ever got close enough to cut the Izogie that deeply.”

Amenza gave her a sad smile.

“that scar was why she came a week later.”

“what?”

Amenza began, a look of pain forming on her face.

“while the fighting was still happening, I remembered looking across the palace and seeing how Izogie fought. it was as though her body was there but her mind was not. I do not say this as an insult but it was the worst she had ever been in battle. and then, it happened.”

Amenza casted her eyes down as she spoke.

“because Izogie was not focused, one of the enemies managed to slice her neck with a dagger.”

she exhaled shakily.

“I saw my friend fall to the ground, her own blood staining her fingers as she clutched her wound. I couldn’t help her in that moment and it pained me. if it wasn’t for Esi who managed to kill the man and drag Izogie to safety, she would’ve died there.”

Nanare’s eyes went wide, guilt engulfing her heart.

“Izogie came a week later because that day was the first day she could move since her injury. even in all of her pain, the first person she looked for was Nossa.”

tears pooled in the younger’s eyes as Amenza swallowed hard.

“the Izogie I know would’ve died for your sister a thousand times over if she could. please, do not blame my friend for the death of her first love.”

Nanare’s lips trembled as she bursted out crying. Amenza held her tightly, allowing her own tears to flow freely.

“i’m sorry, Nanare,” she said. “i’m sorry that in that moment, you had no one to help your sister. no matter what ends up becoming of you, i pray that the ancestors know you did the best you could.”

Nanare cried even harder, her throat trying to grasp air. Amenza gently rocked the both of them, encouraging her to let it all out. they both stayed in that position for the rest of the night, hearts heavy.

the next day, Amenza spoke to the King about letting Nanare visit her sister’s grave for what could possibly be the last time.

the likelihood of you waking up by tomorrow night looked quite slim so now was the best time.

Ghezo had been hesitant at first, not being too fond of granting prisoners any wishes. Amenza quickly assured him that she would escort Nanare to and from the burial ground safely. after much debate, he agreed.

late in the afternoon, the pair set out.

Nossa was buried atop a hill and when they arrived at the foot of it, Amenza held Nanare’s hands softly.

“i’ll wait down here while you’re up there,” she said. “do not feel rushed. spend as much time as you need.”

Nanare thanked her as she walked up the pathway. when she arrived at the top, she took in the view.

birds flew freely in the sky as luscious green grass swayed in the wind. over the horizon, mountains stood tall, clouds nestled on their tops. the air was cool and crisp, giving the space a sense of peace.

as she looked around, she noticed someone was already there. next to her sister’s grave, Izogie sat, watching the landscape.

Nanare froze for a couple of seconds, unsure of what to do. she had figured the next time they would meet again would be at her execution. now that Izogie was here in the flesh, she was at a loss.

what was she even supposed to say to her?

the younger wanted to spend time with her sister but she couldn’t just ignore the other woman. not after learning the truth.

as Nanare pondered what to do, a gentle breeze blew at her back, almost as if urging her to walk forward.

before she knew it, she was putting one foot in front of the other, walking.

within a couple steps, her feet arrived at Nossa’s grave. she knelt down and said a prayer, paying her respects. as she did this, Izogie did not move an inch.

when Nanare was done, she stood up and walked in her direction. she sat down next to her, the both of them gazing at the scenery.

in that moment, so much could’ve been said, explained, unpacked, divulged and even more.

instead, Izogie spoke, words sincere.

“I’m sorry.”

Nanare took in a deep breath, her tone earnest.

“I’m sorry, too.”

for the remainder of the afternoon, they both sat there without exchanging any words. each of them now had an understanding of why the other did the things they did and said the things they said. the innermost parts of their souls had been revealed and atop that hill, they could just be.

as the sun set, the pair walked back down the path and spotted Amenza. she had been waiting for hours and her face looked tired. nevertheless, she greeted them with a warm smile as they headed back to the palace.

along the way, the trio was silent. not in an awkward way though. more so calm. they watched villagers pass by and small children chase chickens, their laughter filling the air.

as they continued on, an agojie soldier saw them from afar. she began running towards the three at full speed. upon taking a closer look, they saw it was Esi.

a collective feeling of fear ran through the women.

when she finally arrived in front of them, she spoke rapidly, a hint of annoyance in her voice.

“exactly where have you all been? i’ve been looking for the hill Ghezo said you were at for almost half an hour. you know i’m bad with directions.”

Amenza looked at the others and dared to ask the question that was on their minds.

“has something happened?”

Esi gave them the biggest smile in the world.

“she’s awake,” she said. “y/n is awake.”

upon hearing those words, Izogie’s eyes widened as her heartbeat quickened. it felt as though new life had been breathed into her lungs.

Amenza loudly uttered a praise to the ancestors as she squeezed Nanare tightly, the younger smiling from ear to ear.

now, the only thing on Izogie’s mind was you. she needed to see your eyes on hers. she needed to hear your voice. she needed to hold you. she needed to breath the same air as you.

she needed you.

before Izogie could do anything though, she turned her gaze to Nanare. the younger was already looking at her with a smile.

“go,” she said. “it’s what Nossa would want for you.”

Izogie thanked her with her eyes and immediately took off. as she ran, her feet felt light as the wind whooshed past her ears. her heartbeat thumped with anticipation as she neared her destination.

a second chance, Izogie thought.

that was what she was getting with love. this time, she would not close herself off to it.

at the infirmary, you laid in bed, eyes still adjusting to your surroundings. you had woken up an hour ago but so many things were still a blur.

the last thing you remembered was speaking to Nanare in the courtyard. nothing else.

as you tried to sit up, your mind quickly reminded you of your injuries. everywhere ached and you winced painfully as the physician helped you lay back down. your could feel that your muscles had grown weak as a result of not moving for so long.

“some of the wounds are not fully healed yet,” he said. “try not to push yourself too much.”

he gave you some medicine to help with the pain. afterwards, you stared up at the ceiling, trying to organize your thoughts. soon, Nanisca entered.

“miganon,” you said.

she greeted you with a smile and sat by your side. the physician went to another corner of the room, working on his herbal remedies.

Nanisca held your hand gently and it took you by surprise. ever since you joined the king’s guard, you’d never had a conversation with her. it didn’t bother you though. she was a busy woman after all.

“how are you feeling?” the elder asked.

a crestfallen look found its way onto your features.

“i’m not really sure,” you said. “it just feels like i’m behind on everything.”

Nanisca nodded thoughtfully as you sighed.

this was truly how you felt. ever since you woke up, all you could do was wonder about all sorts of things.

what happened between you and Nanare?

how many trainings did you miss?

would you be healed in time to take the final test?

where was Izo—.

you were snapped back to reality as she squeezed your hand firmly.

“do not feel pressured to learn everything today. allow yourself to be in the present. when you are back of your feet, we will all be here to guide you.”

warmth spread through your body as you listened to her words. you never wanted to do any of this alone.

“thank you,” you replied, tone sincere.

Nanisca laughed. “no, I should be thanking you.”

you gave her a confused look.

“why?”

“well firstly, you woke up. secondly, it was just in time. you have made four people very happy.”

before you could ask her what she meant by that, the wooden doors swung open.

standing in front was Izogie.

her face, shoulders and biceps were covered in sweat. her lips were slightly parted, displaying some of her white teeth. through her uniform, her chest heaved up and down and her eyes frantically searched the room.

when her gaze landed on yours, butterflies erupted in your stomach as your heart raced.

then, you remembered.

on that hot afternoon day, as you were being beaten into the ground, Izogie was the last person your subconscious thought about before you blacked out.

you thought you would never see her again.

you quickly tried to sit up, eager to greet her. instantly, a hot sharp pain ran down your spine. your entire body trembled as a whimper escaped your lips. Nanisca gently laid you back down, tears forming around your eyes. Izogie looked at you, anguish engulfing her face.

“take it easy,” Nanisca said. “you are all right. you just have some bruising around your back. you should feel better in a couple of weeks.”

as the miganon stood up to leave, you tried to keep your composure. Nanisca squeezed Izogie’s shoulders as she motioned the physician over. they both headed out, leaving the two of you alone.

in that moment, you felt so angry with yourself. your own body was betraying you and there was nothing you could do about it. you quickly turned your head in the opposite direction.

why must i always look weak in front of her? you thought to yourself as footsteps approached you.

teardrops cascaded down the side of your face and before you could wipe it, Izogie’s palm gently cupped your cheek, slowly tilting your head back towards her.

you refused to make eye contact as you swallowed hard. then, for the first time in a long time, you heard her voice again.

“do you really not miss me that much?”

your eyes quickly shot up to meet her gaze. your lips parted slightly as you noticed how much she towered over you. her broad shoulders and defined muscles always had an effect on your entire body.

she had a small smirk on her face but it wasn’t boastful like her typical ones. there was a hint of something else underneath. you had other things to worry about though. you softly pushed her hand.

“i’m not in the mood,” you said, voice cracking.

Izogie watched as you wiped your tears angrily.

“would you like for me to leave?” she asked.

instantly, you were at an internal crossroad. a part of you just wanted to be left alone with your thoughts. you already hated how vulnerable you looked. her being here would only add to your anxiety.

but at the same time, your eyes never wanted to lose sight of Izogie ever again. even in this moment, your body yearned for her touch. you missed her antics, her scolding, her confidence, everything.

you winced as you felt a dull ache in your head. all this thinking was doing you no good. you knew so much about what you wanted and yet, you knew so little.

“do whatever you want, Izogie.” you said weakly, voice filled with pain. “i just woke up from a coma, my body is not functioning and i feel the weakest i have ever felt. i fear that at this rate, i may never become a part of the agojie.”

your throat tightened as tears fell from your eyes.

“it’s so overwhelming to wake up to all these thoughts. i know that i have you all to help me but i’m still so scared.”

Izogie’s jaw clenched as she quickly averted her gaze. she hated seeing you cry. not because crying was a bad thing, but because she never knew how to comfort you.

for a while, she listened as your sobs filled the room. then, she spoke.

“would you really like me to do whatever I want?”

you sniffled as you looked up at her, taken aback by the question.

“what?”

she looked down on you.

“i don’t want you to cry anymore so there’s something I want to do.”

now, you were even more confused. why was she saying something like that to you? your palms suddenly felt sweaty as your heartbeat picked up. with all the strength you could muster, you asked.

“what do you want to do?”

“i want to kiss you.”

your thoughts came to a crashing halt. your eyes widened as you stared at her, a dumbfounded look on your face. you blinked rapidly, unsure of what you just heard.

“what?”

Izogie kissed her teeth slightly. she lowered her muscular frame down to yours, a silver glint residing behind her eyes. your breath hitched in your throat as her face was mere inches away from yours.

“i want to kiss you,” she said again.

“is this supposed to be some sort of a joke?” you asked, voice coming out more shaky that you intended.

Izogie’s eyes flickered down to your lips.

“i don’t make jokes like this.”

she looked back up at you, sincerity swirling in her brown eyes.

“i will only do it if you want me to.”

you lips parted slightly. Izogie always seemed so far away from you. so unattainable. never in your wildest dreams did you imagine her saying these words.

“why?” you asked, trying to shrink into the bed as heat spread through you. “do you like me or something?”

a small smile formed on her lips.

“congratulations. you’re officially slower than Nawi.”

instinctively, you slapped her shoulder. Izogie quickly took hold of your hand and held it gently. she stared at the bracelet, a somber look appearing on her face.

“i can’t bear the thought of losing you.”

your eyes widened.

she lowered her lips down to your inner wrist, pressing a tender kiss to it.

your mouth hung open in disbelief as your heart pounded in your chest.

after setting your hand down, her eyes met yours.

“i need you by my side,” she said softly. “if i lose you, i lose myself.”

“Izogie,” you muttered softly.

her hand came up to the side of your face, gently caressing your cheek. she rested her forehead on top of your own, her eyes closed.

you didn’t move as you felt her breath on your lips.

“i thought you said love makes you weak.”

“you do make me weak,” she whispered. “but i will not give my power away to fear. i want to train with you, eat with you, fight with you, laugh with you—.”

she took a pause, lifting her head slightly to look at you fondly.

“i want to love you.”

you instantly leaned forward, placing a quick kiss on her lips.

for a split second, she looked taken by surprise.

“me too,” you said, eyes eager and twinkling with joy. “i want to love you too.”

as you said those words, Izogie dipped her head low, capturing your lips in hers. she kissed you softly, her hands cradling your face gently. her lips were warm, sending shivers throughout your body. you let out a small gasp as your hands clutched the collar of her uniform. her tongue slipped inside your mouth, sucking on your tongue languidly. you moaned softly, quickly pulling away when you realized.

Izogie’s lips chased yours, love and lust heavy in her eyes. in that moment, your entire existence felt as light as air. you pinched her nose softly, giving her a small smile.

“close your mouth,” you said, voice below a whisper. “you look like a fish.”

Izogie scoffed, her infamous smirk appearing on her face. before you knew what has happening, she gave you a quick peck on the lips.

the thumping of your heart filled your ears as she looked at you in pure adoration.

“you have nothing to be afraid of,” she said. “i will always be here with you. in our line of work, i cannot guarantee you safety but i can promise you this. i will always do everything in my power to protect you.”

you quickly wrapped your arms around Izogie, hugging her tightly. she buried her face in your neck, chuckling deeply as she placed kisses on you.

tears welled in your eyes because for the first time in a long time, you felt like you could finally breathe. the romantic feelings were mutual and you now had a companion who would really help you every step of the way. it was as if a huge weight had been lifted from your shoulders.

as night fell, you both sat there, simply taking in each other. going forward, you knew that you had much to catch up on. there was still conversations that needed to be had and lessons that needed to be learned.

but for tonight, you thanked the ancestors for bringing you and Izogie together.

🫀, the end.

[🫀] / heart to heart — extended scene.

today was the anniversary of Nossa’s death.

six months had passed since everything happened and you’d gained a newfound understanding on love, life, pain and family.

after hearing the entire story, King Ghezo and Queen Shante decided to pardon Nanare and her friends. they even allowed them to stay as part of the agojie.

at dawn, you woke up and headed to the palace garden. Izogie, you and Nanare were going to Nossa’s burial site to watch the sunrise. you wanted to bring some flowers.

as the three of you walked up the hill, there was a comfortable silence. at the top, the sky was a golden shade of orange and the birds chirped excitedly. a light breeze blew around you and your feet relished in the softness of the grass.

each of you took turns praying and paying your respects. after setting the flowers down, you stood up and took Nanare’s hands in yours. you gave her a soft smile as you squeezed her hands. the younger smiled warmly back at you.

soon, the three of you turned your attention to the rising sun and basked in its beauty. Izogie rested her arms around you and Nanare’s shoulders, a peaceful expression on her face.

in that moment, you felt that Nossa’s spirit was with you all. you never knew her personally but her presence was always there. in the wind, in the trees, and in the hearts of her sister and your lover.

as a gentle wind passed by, you could say with certainty that Nossa was looking down on the three of you, her face beaming with pride.

🫀, the end.

#izogie #izogie x reader #izogie x black!reader #lashana lynch #the woman king #gonesgone #Spotify

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