#girl help im just trying to do normal computer things and all the apps im forced to use take triple the time to do anything

[ninjasmudge]

im so glad they replaced programs with apps that take a full minute or more to open. 🙃 its great that the option to save things youre working on to your private files is not just difficult to find but gone completely in some cases. im so happy that windows continually prompts me to turn on find my device. in case i lose. the whole computer

[9tzuyu]

stay.

note: normally i try not to get too personal with authors notes, but #lolz feeling a little silly and goofy ig

i really debated posting this because all it is - is a huge vent/dump fic. i don't expect anyone to read this or for it to really go anywhere and that's fine with me. i'm actually a little embarrassed? i guess you could say? i don't know. a lot of issues are coming up revolving around my ed so i just had to get it out.

+ i do promise to try and work on requests and lighter stuff. i still cant afford a new computer so im doing everything from my phone. it'll take some time, i'm sorry about that. i'll try my best to get requests out as soon as i can.

warnings: talks about anorexia/eating disorders. if you decide to read this i strongly advise you to take a moment beforehand because i do go pretty in depth at some points. i dont want to trigger anyone or anything, so the warning is here.

**please note that this is heavy thought based at first before it moves onto dialogue.

**and remember this is just a vent/comfort fic i originally wrote for myself, so if it’s not as good as any of my other fics you guys like i’m sorry.

ALSO SORRY TO KILL THE HALLOWEEN SPIRIT HELP

++ please be safe tonight

ty moli for proofreading i love u <3

it was impossible to understand why such an awful thing could be glamorized

you were only ten when you first stumbled across the sites. sacred rules could be found plastered all over the home pages in cute fonts to distract from how twisted the demands were. lists of diets and calorie counting apps were always linked on the side, along with pages full of videos pertaining to weight loss. 

even at a young age, you knew it was obviously all wrong, that the people running these blogs had to be sick themselves. but that didn’t stop you from continuing your exploration of the community. once you started you couldn’t stop.

by the time you were twelve, you counted on laxatives and self-induced vomiting to ease your insecurities. it worked for a while, but then it wasn’t enough. you had to do more, be better than the person you were a few months prior. 

at thirteen, you joined group chats and ran your own little blog tied to those who could relate. the praise for losing weight easily became your biggest motivator. because if you were the smallest, you were the best. within a few years, you’d been perfectly trained into thinking that less was good, and that becoming more was the worst thing you could ever be. 

you were taught that losing hair and bruises on your skin were the things you wanted. if you didn’t have those, then you were hopeless, not enough. others in the community told you to look up to those cliche, horribly written characters with eating disorders. no matter how many stereotypes and stigmas they gave off, those characters would always be praised some way or another. you weren’t shocked to say that reading winter girls did you no favors at all.

the next few years were on and off between misery and glimpses of happiness. it was never ending. nonetheless, you ignored what every therapist told you and remained firm on the belief that your body was different from the rest. your body wouldn’t go too far like the others because you were strong. you’d come so far already, why would you stop now? 

you denied your diagnosis of anorexia because nothing was wrong. you weren’t in a hospital bed dying of heart failure. why were you supposed to believe what you were doing wasn’t right when nothing serious has gone wrong? that was your point, although you knew somewhere in your mind it wasn’t normal to cry over a turkey sandwich or panic at the thought of even smelling food. 

so you stayed true to your routine of hiding food, packing on layers of concealer, and lying straight through your teeth when asked if you’d stuck to your meal plan. 

it never lasted long though because despite your best efforts, your body would eventually give away the truth on its own. weigh-ins became impossible to trick, your extra small clothes hung two sizes too big over your body. anyone with eyes could see that you’d been less than truthful the entire time.

as you got older, you found that some years were better than others. your body could be healthy and you found yourself genuinely enjoying those around you. friends and family said you were more fun to be around. during those times they didn’t have to worry so much, they could laugh at lame jokes you’d tell without thinking it might be the last one they’d ever hear.

during those years, your eating disorder was much more quiet. you were able to eat food and not feel as guilty as you would when you were sick. the thoughts were always there; they were just more manageable than before.

but somewhere in your twenties, you found yourself still stuck in the cycle introduced to you at the tender age of ten. you were old enough now to know and believe what you were doing was wrong, but the fear of facing and fighting back against your eating disorder was too scary of a thought for you to handle. 

you knew now that when you were younger people brainwashed you into believing smaller was better. they took the lighter side of eating disorders and turned them into goals you’d want to reach.

the people you’d met on pro-anorexia websites romanticized the fuck out of the disease, leading you to believe you’d be beautiful and envied by others as long as you had a gap between your thighs and size zero pants around your waist. you thought someone would’ve wanted you as long as you were frail and dainty (two words commonly misused to describe someone who was actually weak and dying). 

it was a mystery to you at sixteen why you were so miserable when you were promised happiness and self-confidence. girls didn’t envy you like you’d been told they would. instead they’d stare at you, weirded out by how freakishly skinny you were. your name was constantly in people’s mouths at school, everyone wondering why you’d ever want to look like that. 

friendships didn’t last long either. you wore people out with your constant need to skip out last minute on plans that had been scheduled for over a week. things didn’t make your case any better when you’d snap at your friends for wanting to get something to eat because they were hungry. a few small, petty arguments too many, and they’d be on their way as far from you as they could go. 

you’d never felt more alone in your life when even your longest friends started to grow tired of your behavior. 

why couldn’t they think about how tired you were of it? you are with yourself 24/7 after all.

those in charge of the sites forgot to mention all the extremes you’d learn to go to when it came to avoiding or getting rid of food. it was more than just sneaking dinner into your dog's mouth. for you, it was hiding sacks of vomit in your closet, throwing them in a large plastic bag the night before trash day. for you it was throwing up in your friend's front yard while they ran inside for a few minutes to get something. for you it was hitting yourself in the stomach for over an hour hoping to replace hunger pain with physical pain against your body. 

no one ever mentioned the insane beliefs that tagged along with anorexia. like the ones you had where you thought fast food water had calories in it because it was surrounded by the smell of food, or thinking that shampoo and advil had hidden calories in them that would somehow leak into your body. 

you knew how stupid and irrational everything sounded, but those beliefs were so ingrained in your mind it was hard to challenge them. 

another unmentioned concern no one cared to bring up was the fact that you’d eventually have to tell people new in your life what you’d struggled with. you told natasha awhile before you started dating her and she didn’t run off or stray away from you. you were grateful for that, but it didn’t make things very much easier for you.

if things were bad, then date nights rarely ever consisted of going out for food. this hardly ever bothered natasha too much, but you could see the occasional falter in her eyes when you told her you’d rather do something else. she’d love to take you out hold your hand as you walked to the ice cream shop after you’d eaten dinner. she’d love to enjoy a glass of wine or two at a nice restaurant with a four course meal, but you couldn’t always give her that.

there had been a few dates ruined by your eating disorder. the worst of which came just a few short months after you’d told her about your issue. 

the fair was in town and natasha was over the moon about the idea of taking you with her. you weren’t in the best mindset that particular day though. the thought of being around fried, greasy food was enough to make your stomach churn, but you saw how happy she was and didn’t want to ruin her the surprise she had for you. 

half way through the night you had a panic attack, cutting the date short. words couldn’t even begin to describe how guilty you felt. natasha drove you back to hers, silence filling the air after you apologized profusely. she spent the night watching over you, making sure you didn’t do anything because she knew how angry you were with yourself. 

dates like those came few and far between, especially through the years you weren’t struggling as badly. 

you couldn’t say the same for now though.

you tapped your feet against the tile flooring as you sat in the lobby of your doctor's office. natasha sat next to you, hand clasped tightly over yours. she was worried. beyond worried, really. 

like many times before in the previous years, you’d managed to hide your relapse quite well from others. the only reason natasha knew now was because you’d passed out on the job. you’d woken up in the hospital to her setting a glass of water on the table next to your bed. 

you argued about it for three days before finally agreeing to go to the doctor. 

truth be told, natasha was probably more worried about it than you were. the only thing occupying your mind was the fear of having to gain weight again, but also the chance that you might lose natasha if you didn’t get it together this time. 

you weren’t a kid anymore. you knew very well she had the right to leave if she wanted to. you also knew the bind you were putting her in. if she left, natasha would run the risk of worsening your situation and in a month's time she might not ever see you again. but if she stayed, then she’d only be screwing herself over by destroying her own mental health. 

neither one of those options were ones you liked. 

“y/n?”

you looked up to see a nurse standing in the doorway of the lobby. natasha gripped your hand as you stood up and you nodded for her as an okay to follow you. stepping on the scale was the worst part, especially since the nurse had no idea of your current situation and decided to allow you to look at the number in front of you. natasha was about to say something, but you’d already seen what the scale said, anyway. 

she did, however, grimace at the sight of how skinny your arm was when you took off your jacket for a blood pressure check. just like the rest of your body it was too thin. 

“temperature and weight are low-”

you are slowly dying, was the translation.

“-but your blood pressure is just above where it should be.” she left the room after jotting down the reason for your visit, telling you that your doctor would be in shortly. 

you spent the next fifteen minutes waiting in an uncomfortable silence, watching as natasha fiddled with the ring on her index finger. 

“it’ll be okay, nat.” 

 “we’ll see what the doctor says.”

“i’m sorry.” she sighed, running her fingers through her hair. “i know you are.”

 her reply didn’t help the matter, only making you feel more guilty by the second. guilt you didn’t have room to feel when you were the one doing this to yourself.

a light knock on the door made noise and your doctor walked in, a smile on her face like the previous times you’d been in her office.

“hello dr. hill.”

“y/n,” she greeted. 

the doctor flicked through your files on her computer before she addressed you herself.

“want to tell me in your own words what happened?”

you shrugged, “hit another relapse. passed out at work. argued with my girlfriend over whether or not i should be here.” 

she hummed, taking your hands in her own, examining how blue your fingernails had turned. “a lot less pink from the last time i saw you.” 

her stethoscope met your spine, and you inhaled, exhaling as she moved it around the back of your body.

“lungs sound fine.” you waited patiently until she finished listening to your chest. “your heartbeat isn’t where i’d like it to be, but seeing as you’re a little over twenty pounds underweight, it’s exactly where i’d expect it to be.” 

dr. hill paused, jotting down a few notes on her clipboard. “i strongly recommend hospitalization.” deal breaker. you shook your head instantly, instantly regretting making the appointment. 

natasha swallowed back a sob full of anger and frustration. “why not?”

“i just can’t, alright? it’s not even that bad.” you mumbled.

dr. hill stepped out into the hallway, giving you and natasha space to talk.

“did you not hear her? jesus christ it’s like talking to a brick wall with you.” she paced around the room, emotions too high for her to think properly before speaking.

“well then leave, natasha. i don’t care anymore.”

“i don’t want to! that’s the last thing i ever want to do to you. but god, why can’t you just fucking eat?”

she couldn’t stop the words from slipping from her mouth. her heart broke when she saw the look on your face.

“and why can’t you understand it’s not always about that?” you whispered to the ground.

“i know. i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to say that. but please, we can do this together. i’ll there every step of the way, you just have to want it for yourself.” she pleaded, eyes watery with tear tracks tracing the edge of her jaw.

“i just want to go home. can we just go home, please?”

. . .

the smell of natasha’s dinner aired throughout the kitchen. you watched as she filled her plate with a variety of things. it looked good — good enough to eat — you couldn’t lie about that.

natasha hadn’t spoken a word to you since the appointment earlier in the day, too upset to even think about it.

you were conflicted about everything.

literally everything.

but seeing natasha sitting alone, face propped up resting against her arm, flipped something inside of you.

you could almost hear her voice telling you to try, just try, that’s all she wanted from you. the both of you knew you’d end up dead if you didn’t. and you didn’t really want that, no matter how many times you wished it would happen.

so you went to grab your own plate, filling as much as you thought you were comfortable with and sat next to nat. this was the first time you’d done this in months.

you inhaled, but made no move to take a bite.

your thoughts had never been this loud before. it was bickering back and forth, nonstop.

you wont be good anymore if you eat that.

– yes i will.

you’re disgusting.

– i’m just hungry.

it’ll go away.

– i just want to eat. it’s just food. nothing more.

you know you can’t do that. you’re bad, horrible, the worst person in the world. so be good.

“damnit!” you slammed your fork down, startling natasha.

breathe.

“you’ve got this.” natasha’s soft voice came from beside you and her hand clasped into yours. “how’s this? i can talk about something, anything you’d like to take your mind off of this.”

you cleared your throat with a small nod, “it’s almost halloween.”

“it is. do you want to do anything this year?”

“can we dress up and give away candy to the kids? and can we stay up and watch horror movies?” natasha giggled, “we sure can.”

she noticed how your fork began to circle around the food, pushing and shoving it around.

“can you take another bite?”

no.

don’t.

the metal hit your tongue, food leaving the fork and into your mouth.

“do you have any ideas as to what you would like to dress up as?”

“mmm. well i think we should definitely go as edward and bella from twilight.” you replied sarcastically.

“i love you, but there’s no way in hell you’ll get me to dress up as a sparkly vampire.”

her thumb rubbed the top of your knuckles. “another bite please. you’re almost there.”

your lip trembled and you could feel the lump in your throat start to form. you felt so stupid and humiliated that natasha had to do this for you.

with a shaky breath, you exhaled, pushing yourself once more.

“i think we should go as gay ken and barbie.” your lip twitched into a smile. “and who would you be?”

“well ken of course,” she confirmed.

“what it i wanted to be ken?”

“and what if i wanted to just wear a cat's ear headband with a black turtleneck and pants and call it a costume?”

“if you want to, we can.” the redhead smiled, shaking her head. “we can be anything your little heart desires. now, one last bite?”

and one last bite it was.

you liked that natasha didn’t clap and cheer when you finished your plate. too many times you’d been told “i’m so, so proud of you!” or “i can’t believe you actually finished!”, it was annoying. those types of things always made you feel like a child who couldn’t do anything to begin with.

instead, natasha went with a gentle “i knew you could do it” and went to put the dish in the sink. it felt nice to have someone really believe in you.

“c’mon, we can get ahead on our horror movie watching a little early.”

natasha went to grab your hand, leading you into the livingroom and onto the couch. you tensed when her arm wrapped around your body.

gross. disgusting. she shouldn’t touch you.

“hey, where’d you go just now?”

“hm? nowhere. i’m here.” she knew you were lying, but decided not to push.

natasha’s hand moved from your side up to your head, scrunching her fingers together to scrape her nails against your scalp.

not good. tainted. dirty. wrong.

“what movie would you like to watch?” she clicked the remote and scrolled through a series of horror movies.

ruined.

“bride of chucky?” when she didn’t receive a reply she pressed play anyway, knowing it was one of your favorites.

natasha tried her best to keep you as distracted as possible. she went from letting you play with her hair and rings to asking questions about the movie, despite already knowing the answers.

“we should go as chucky and tiffany. don’t you think? i’ve already got the red hair.”

why would you do that?

“yeah, that’d be fun.” your voice cracked, causing natasha’s previous hand movements to come to a halt.

“is there anything i can do to help you right now?”

“i just don’t want to be here right now.” natasha’s eyes widened, and you quickly went to clarify what you meant. “no- no- not like that! not like that at all. i just… i don’t know, i feel stupid.”

“why?”

“we have a bathroom. i just ate.” not a second later and natasha put the pieces together.

“oh.”

you nodded, “it’s stu-”

“it’s not stupid. it’s triggering.”

natasha moved to get off the couch, disappearing out of your sight. you didn’t have the energy to try and see what she was doing, so you stayed put.

“let’s go for a drive. i know a spot you might like. it’s quiet, away from the city. we can just talk or listen to music. we could also just sit in silence if you want, i don’t mind. whatever it takes until you feel ready to come back.”

you didn’t bother trying to tell her that she didn’t have to do this because she wouldn’t listen anyway. natasha’s stubbornness was honestly one of the few things that’s saved you.

“nirvana? stevie nicks? what are you in the mood for?” natasha asked you softly, thumb tapping her screen as she scrolled through her spotify playlists.

“will you play kurt’s version of the man who sold the world, please?”

“of course. and you know you’re always welcome to change the song. i put it on shuffle though.”

the ride there was more relaxing than you thought it would be. your mind and body were too focused on the lyrics of the song and fiddling with natasha’s free hand. the thoughts were still there, just not as loud as before.

soon enough, you and natasha both laid flat against the back of her car staring up at the moon. it was still. no noise could be heard apart from the sound of crickets a few feet away.

you had room to think, room to breathe.

you thought about what some of your friends were doing right now. you’d seen pictures on instagram of them representing their college, a couple of party posts, and the occasional travel selfie.

those were all the things you wanted to do, but couldn’t. it was easy to let yourself feel jealous. sure, you were more than grateful to have natasha, but there’s nothing fun about being in a relationship with someone so self-destructive. there was no doubt natasha loved you, but it’s hard to love someone who doesn’t want to be loved; or at least acts like they don’t.

so the choice was once again up to you. what was more important? spending days wasting away over something you’ll never reach? or living a new life, one that could be exciting, outside of your eating disorder?

“what’s on your mind?” natasha questioned, turning her head to the side to get a better view of your face. your cheeks were more hallow than she remembered and it made her stomach turn.

you hummed, “i was so caught up in my own pain i didn’t realize how much i was hurting everyone else around me. this race to be perfect; look where it got me.”

natasha didn’t know what the right thing to say was. your statement wasn’t necessarily wrong, so she couldn’t argue against it.

“i used to tell myself that my eating disorder never took anything from me. everyone always had something, whether it be a sport, or theater, or dance. i didn’t have that. and then i realized that’s exactly what my eating disorder took away from me. i haven’t done anything in the past decade except go through the motion. every day up until now i’ve lived to obey my eating disorder.”

there was pause, another inhale and another exhale.

“you could say i have someone; my family or friends, but after awhile they get tired. they stop trying and asking. they stop caring. a few years down the road and now i have a strained relationship with everyone i used to be close with. i guess it made it easier to accept what would inevitably happen to me.”

you turned to face her, a shaky breath leaving your mouth. “i don’t want to die, nat.”

the redhead had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from crying. she couldn’t imagine a life without you, she didn’t want to imagine it.

“had i known when i was a kid that this would be my life i would’ve never continued on like this.”

“you still have time, you can still get better.” she reasoned.

“i know, it’s just hard.”

“you’re in the fight for your life, it won’t ever be easy.” natasha affirmed. “but i know you can do this.”

“we’ll see.”

. . .

*gasp* an eating disorder fic that doesn’t revolve around the fear of getting fat? v tired of that stereotype pleek not everyone with an ed is like that.

[ptrbprkrs]

beautiful stranger

summary: you sneakily take photos of a cute boy on the train to send to your friend. when the cute boy sits down next to you, you realize you weren’t as sneaky as you thought you were. pairing: peter parker x reader warnings: fluff, mild language word count: 1.7k words

prompt: “I was trying to take a sneaky picture of you because i told my friend about the hot guy on the train and she wanted to see but you totally noticed and yeah this is awkward” au from here

gif created by me, please credit if using

is it illegal to be this cute????

You texted your friend on the way home from school, hiding your face in your phone while sitting on the subway. Only a few steps away from you, a beautiful boy in a blue sweater grasped onto the pole as he listened to music. He stepped onto the train a few stops ago and now, you couldn’t stop staring. 

istg im sweating n dying from the close proximity of his presence 

hes not even that close

is htis normal?????

Slowly peeking up, you stole another glance at the boy. His attention drifted to his phone while your eyes danced over his sharp jawline and strong features, which contradicted against his overall sweet face. 

Saying he was beautiful was an understatement. You were so drawn to him, like a moth to a flame.  

Suddenly, he began to smile and laugh from whatever he was doing on his phone. Your heart burst then and there, causing you to hold your phone close to your chest in hopes it would contain the invisible chaos. Your friend texted you back:  

-!!! send me a pic!!! let me see!!!

fine okay gimme a sec

Lifting your phone up a bit, you angled it enough to get a decent shot of the boy, but not too high to make it obvious. You attempted to take the picture as if you were taking a selfie. Although a bit difficult since the train rattled casually, you successfully took the photo and even had extra shots to send to your friend.

-okay he pretty cute 

-u should say smth!!! 

?? what would i say “hi i think ur cute lets go out sometime”??

-yea??? thats how meeting ppl works?? 

As you texted your friend back, the person sitting beside you stood up, ready to leave the train. Without moving your head, your eyes darted to the empty seat. Then, you glimpsed at the boy, who seemed to be making his way towards you. Your phone practically fell out of your hands when you replied:  

omg the seat next to me is empty i think hes going to sitdown 

-make ur movE OR ELSE U WILL NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN

-DONT BE A PUSSY!!

You tried your hardest to pretend you were preoccupied with your phone, but all you could do was wait for the handsome stranger to sit down. Without looking up, you heard the boy ask the lady standing in front of you if she would like to have the seat, but she politely declined. The pounding in your ears was too difficult to ignore, but you still tried your best to drown it out. It felt like forever before he sat down next to you. 

You weren’t even sure which app you were scrolling on at this point and you really couldn’t care less either. All you could think about was your friend’s text. 

Make your move. Make your move. Make your move or else-

“Hi.”

You froze, unsure if you heard a voice. You glanced around before your sight landed on the attractive figure next to you. The spotlight was all on you, with his earphones off and a smile plastered across his face as wide as a football field. Was he actually talking to you?  

“Hi.” 

Your eyes fluttered as fast as your heart in an attempt to look into his sparkling, brown eyes.     

He leaned a little closer to you. If you weren’t sweating already, you definitely were sweating now. Did you remember to wear antiperspirant today? You clenched your hands in a fist, with your phone still in hand, fighting against the urge to check. 

“Can I ask you something?” he whispered. Of course he had a sweet voice to match his face. You nodded. 

“Do I have something on my face?” 

Tilting your head in confusion, you shook your head in response. “No, I don’t see anything.” 

The boy sighed a relief, relaxing into his seat a bit. “Phew, that’s good. Just wanted to make sure I look good for my picture.” 

“Hm?” 

The mysterious boy gestured towards your phone. He came in closer to whisper again—

“Rule #1 of the Selfie Rulebook: you should always try different angles to get the lighting right. You kinda just stuck your phone out in one direction and that was it.” 

Shit. Shit, shit, shit. He knew. 

“Well, what if I’m confident in my selfie angling? Maybe this is my best side.” You held your phone out, mocking yourself from moments earlier. You were already caught, may as well die with the lie as long as you can.  

He chuckled.

It really was illegal to be this cute. 

“Then I can’t really argue with you. Please take my most humble apologies, oh, Selfie Master.” The boy placed a hand on his chest, dipping his head as if bowing. 

Almost instantaneously, defeat took over your body. You placed your palms against your face, covering yourself in shame. Maybe if you held still long enough, the embarrassment would fade and the cute boy would forget what happened.  

“Was I that obvious?” you groaned behind your palms.

“Only to me.” 

You peeked through the slit of your fingers to find him still smiling at you. 

“Why’d you take photos of me? Art project on collecting photographs of beautiful things? I had to do that once.” 

You wondered what (or who) he took photographs of for his art project. If this conversation didn’t end in flames, maybe you could ask him. Your hands drooped down, resting upon your thighs.  

“To be honest,” you closed your eyes and inhaled deeply, ready to confess. “My friend was curious about this cute guy I noticed on the subway. I needed proof to validate my taste in men.” 

After a moment to exhale, with your eyes still closed, you heard him reply:  

“Well, let me say that your taste in men is impeccable.” 

Opening your eyes, despite the warmth that radiated from your cheeks, you smiled shyly. Taking a chance, you introduced yourself and held your hand out. 

“I’m Peter,” he took your hand in his and shook it. Both of you lingered on the shake longer than expected, causing you two to giggle.  

“Which school do you go to?” you asked. 

“Midtown Tech. You?”

“Same!” 

“Really?” Peter wrinkled his eyebrows. “I haven’t seen you around before.” 

“Just transferred,” you shrugged in response. 

“Well, if you ever need help with anything, I’m always happy to help. Well, not anything, but, I mean,” he scrunched his nose while rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m always here. To help. With things. Most things.” 

Laughter filled the air between you two. You opened your mouth, but stopped in your tracks when you noticed your stop was coming up soon. Just because you two went to the same school, it didn’t mean that you would ever bump into each other, especially in the sea of a few thousand other kids. It was now or never to make your move. 

“I’d love to stay and chat, but my stop’s coming up soon. I don’t normally do this, but do you want to exchange numbers and maybe meet up for coffee or something?” The words spilled so quickly from you, you weren't sure if Peter caught everything. He stared blankly at you for a moment and you almost repeated yourself when he said— 

“Definitely.” 

In a hurry, you practically dropped your phone into his hand. His fingers breezed over your phone as he typed in his info before handing it back to you. You were about to text him to ensure it was the correct number, but you saw that he already did so. The name Peter Parker was at the top of the conversation and a “Hi!” stared back at you. 

“Got your text,” Peter held up his phone as confirmation. Unwillingly, you stood up, beaming down at him, and adjusted your backpack over your shoulder. 

“Where do you have to get off?”  

“Actually,” Startling you, he stood up too. “My stop passed already.” 

With your mouth agape, you shook your head. “Wait, what? Why didn’t you-” 

“I wanted to find out the name of the pretty girl who was taking my picture,” He mirrored you, adjusting the strap of his backpack over his shoulder as well. “but I’m glad I got more than I bargained for.” 

Your mind couldn’t compute what Peter was saying; all you could do was blink incoherently. The train slowed down as you walked towards the doors with Peter trailing behind you. Both of you stepped off towards an empty side of the station near a rusty pillar.   

“Well, I have to get to the other side,” Peter gestured towards the platform across from you. Still in awe, you smacked your lips together and nodded. “It was really nice meeting you. Hopefully, we can see each other soon. Get home safe.” 

His cheeks puffed from his emerging soft smile. You died a little on the inside. 

“You too, Peter. I’ll see you around.” 

You rushed away down the stairs, bolting away from what felt like a dream. At the edge of the entrance of the station, you paused abruptly to check your phone. 

-??? WHAT HAPPENED TELL Me

-dont leave me hanging like this!!!

According to the timestamps of the texts between you and your friend, the whole interaction with Peter lasted a mere ten minutes. You chuckled in disbelief as you answered your friend: 

i have the number for one (1) peter parker!!

he goes to midtown too!!! 

and he thinks i’m Pretty 

-!!!!!!!!

-im so proud of u!!!!!!

In the middle of replying, you had a notification of a text from none other than Peter. 

*Hi! Long time no talk. 

*I don’t want to come off as impatient or weird, but is it too early to text you? Should I wait? 

*(If so, we can pretend these texts never happened in the first place…)

He wasn’t even there anymore, but your cheeks tingled once again. With a grin, you said: 

(((you can text me only if we pretend i didnt take pictures of you on the train)))

You placed your phone back into your pocket and walked home, still revelling in all the events that just occurred. Coming up to your house, you opened up Peter’s response—

*Deal :)  

[cryinggameff]

Seventy-Five

Randi

Cameron’s crying woke me up early in the morning as usual. I started to get up but Cayden mumbled, "I got him," and got up from the bed. I looked over at the clock. It was 8am. Cayden would be leaving for work soon and I'd be going to drop Cam at my moms. I was trying to slowly get back to going to work, a couple of times a week anyways. Cayden worked a normal 9-5 schedule now, the ride share app he had invested in had blown up and now he was a cowener in a big time company which kept him busy. He really loved what he was doing which made me happy. I was co-owner of 2 salons now. After almost 2 years of back and forth, a second location was up. That required me putting in more regular hours though, which meant leaving Cameron. I felt guilty about working for months after He was born, but now a year later, Cayden and Ms. Williams,my therapist, both convinced me that working was good for me and that i wasn't evil for doing so. He was 1 now and I felt better about leaving him with someone else. I wasn’t breastfeeding anymore and he didn’t need 24/7 attention. But i couldn't deny being a mom came first on my list of priorities and consumed most of my time and thoughts, and i was fine with that.

"You going into the salon today?" Cayden asked, coming back in the room with Cam. I smiled reaching out for him. Seeing him in the morning was the best part of my day because after sleeping for a few hours I missed him. His face lit up when he saw me and he giggled, bringing out his cute dimples. When I looked at him I thought about the fact that I almost missed out on this because I was set on not having kids. I also thought about everything I went through to give birth to him and the fact that I’d do it all over again.

"Good morning mommy's baby," i cooed, nuzzling his face. "Yeah, i'm going in. I have so much to do for tax season," I said.

"My mom taking him this week?" he asked. I nodded. Our parents switched who would watch him. It was perfect because they all didn't work anymore. God knows i couldn't leave Cam with strangers. Cayden took his shirt off to go shower, revealing his perfect chest, well perfect except the gunshot wound under his right peck. He leaned down to kiss me and i met him. He kissed me for a long time and Cam started crying.

"You need to get ready, and i gotta get him some food," i said. We went separate ways and went about our morning routines.

At the door Cayden gave Cameron some last cuddles then handed him to me. He kissed my forehead.

"Imma see you tonight beautiful," he said. I smiled and nodded. I watched him get in his car and go. Then i had to get Cam and myself in my car and drove to Cay's mom's house. On the way there I thought about how normal life was now, Cayden going to work in the morning, to a legit job, m dropping of our kid, and going to work. Life was so different now.

I got to the salon later in the morning and went back to my office. I sat down and immediately checked my phone. It was habit now whenever someone else was watching Cam. I checked for texts or calls about him. When i saw nothing i reluctantly got my computer on and started pulling up my files. I worked for about 2 hours before i cracked and checked grabbed my phone to call Cay's mom. She didn't answer my call and i put my phone down angrily.

"He's fine Randi," i said to myself, turning back to my computer. The separation anxiety i felt with him was hard to explain. It was different than with Cayden. When he wasn't with me i got that feeling like when you think you're forgetting something really important, but constant. It was weird not hearing him cry or laugh for so long, it put me on edge. I wasn't sure how Cayden was able to just go to work like it was nothing.

Jada came in then.

"Hey, I put all those receipts on your desk, did you see them?" She asked.

"yeah," i said with a sigh. I glanced at my phone again.

"Whats up with you?" She asked.

"It's Cameron," i said.

"Why is he sick?" she asked with a frown.

"No. But Cayden's mom won't answer my calls. I just want a picture of him so i know he's ok," i said.

"She's probably busy watching him, it's a good thing she not on her phone," she said. She had a good point. "You worry too much," she said, leaving the office. I knew i worried too much, i didnt wanna be like this. It just came with the whole mom thing.

Later a knock came at my door and i looked up. It was a delivery guy.

"Mrs. Jones?" he asked.

"yeah, thats me,"i said. He gave me the clipboard and i signed it, looking around for the package.

"Package is out front," he said. I thanked him and went out to the front desk to check what is was. China turned to look at me.

"I hate you," she said. I was confused, then i saw the huge bouquet of flowers. I smiled like an idiot, jumping up and down a little. I picked up the card.

--->To my beautiful wife, because i can't stop thinking about you. Im sure you're thinking about Cam not me but that's ok. P.S he's fine, stop worrying. From: Cay and Cam

I teared up and held the card to my chest. I loved how thoughtful Cayden could be. That gave me the motivation i needed to get through the day.

I picked Cam up around 3 and made my way back home. Cole called me on my way saying that he was coming over. He beat me home and was waiting in the drive way when i got there. He helped me get Cam out of the car.

“My little man!” He said, taking him from his car seat.

“He just put on a show on the way home, cried the whole ride. He's so tired.” We went inside.

“You on your own?” He asked.

“Yeah, Cayden still at work.”

“Damn, he really taking this CEO shit serious. You can always leave him with me if you need a break,” he said.

“I’m seriously gonna take you up on that, but anyways, so bachelor party. I have everything set, just need to know what time you want the limo.”

“Like 10 probably. I plan on being drunk by then so it don’t really matter,” he chuckled, letting Cam play with his fingers.

“Ok. I still need an outfit, I’m always scared to be out dressed by the strippers,” I said. I was gonna be the only girl at the bachelor party, I wasn’t planning on staying too long anyways, I knew I’d be missing Cameron and I wanted to let Cole hang with his buddies.

"Aint that weird? Going to a strip club with your man?" He asked, putting Cam's pacifier back in his mouth.

"Not really. Im used to it," i said, "but he doesn't even go anymore. This will be the first time he's gone since Cam was born. But why are you going to a female strip club when you don't like girls is the real question?"

"Male strip clubs aint the same," he shrugged. "Only thing is i know Ty attracted to females so that's gonna be a bit weird." I went around the kitchen making something to eat for all of us. I started cutting stuff up for a salad and warming a bottle for Cameron. Cole came to sit at the island.

"Im sure he'll behave himself," i said. "He's marrying you, so clearly he's not checking for anyone else, male or female" i assured him. He nodded.

“Did you get nervous before your wedding?” He asked. I nodded.

“Hell yeah. You know i was a mess leading up to it. I had a panic attack day of too," i laughed remembering. "You getting nervous bout it?"

"A little," he shrugged. It was odd to see Cole unsure or worried about anything. He was always so care free, go with the flow type of guy.

"It'll go away once you see him on the day," i assured him. He nodded in agreement.

"One more week to go," he said.

Cayden

I was in meetings all day today which was tiring. Sometimes this job was more tiring than drug dealing, which i ever expected. I really liked doing something different though. When i thought about it, i kind of did the same thing when i was in charge of the warehouses, i handled all the business behind the dealing. Negotiated with cartels, contracted people, allocated supplies. That's pretty much what i did now, just not with drugs. I was really into the whole tech thing too, the dudes i worked with were crazy smart, inventing apps and shit.

After my meetings i went to my office to check my emails. I checked my phone too and saw the message from Randi thanking me for the flowers.

There was also a message from Keisha which I opened.  It was a photo of her son after a basketball game. Yes, i had stayed in touch with her, because that was my nephew, and the circumstances didn’t change that. Randi was all for it and we’d even have him over sometimes. So I’d see him here and there and she kept me up to date on what he was doing. I chuckled a little at his big gap smile, he looked so much like Trey it scared me at times. The more I was getting to know him the more I saw Trey in him, and that made me feel like my brother was still here.

After replying some emails I finally made my way home. It was an hour past Cameron’s bed time which meant I wouldn’t get to hang with him before he slept. I walked around downstairs and when I didn’t see Randi I went upstairs. I could hear her in the nursery. I walked over quietly and stood by the door. Randi was bouncing Cameron in her arms while he was fussing. She was so small he took up her whole torso now and he was only 1.

“Shhh, Mommy’s got you Cam ” she said softly,rubbing his back in circles. He finally got quiet and she went to put him back in his crib. She turned on the rain machine for him because he loved that shit and couldn't sleep without it. She finally turned towards the door and she jumped when she saw me, putting her hand to her chest.

“Jesus Cay, how long you been standing there?”

“Not long, but I can watch you with him all day,” i said, going up to wrap my arms around her waist.Her hair was all messed up, coming out of the bun she had, and she was wearing sweats, but she still looked fine. I looked over her head to Cam in his crib. “I tried to get home before he went to sleep," i said. I had stayed at the office later than usual.

“You just missed him. He woke up from a bad dream,” she frowned.

“I know what you’re thinking. We didn’t give him bad dreams Ran, he’s a baby, probably just wanted some attention” i could read her mind. Randi had this theory that Cameron inherited bad dreams from us because sometimes he would wake up crying or screaming. We both had a history of bad dreams so maybe it was possible but I still assured her that wasn’t the case.

“You don’t know that,” she mumbled. I tugged a piece of her hair.

"Come on, you gonna wake him up," i said, pulling her out of the room. I dragged her into our room so i could change. "I talked to Ty today, the suit is ready. Can you pick it up tomorrow for me?"

"Yeah, i have to go pick up my dress anyways," she said. "I'm so excited, I can’t believe this is finally happening" she smiled, folding her legs.

"Im just surprised neither one of them backed out yet, i thought for sure Ty would have wigged out by now," i said, taking my shirt off.

"Cole is the one I was worried about. He came over earlier, he was freaking out a little," she said, grabbing my shirt and straightening it out. "But i told him that was normal. I was loosing my shit before our wedding, but if i made it down the aisle, he can."

"True. I deadass thought you weren't gonna show up to our wedding,"i laughed remembering.

"Thought about running, my dad dragged me out of that room though," she laughed as well.

"Your ass lucky i still married you after making a nigga self conscious and shit," i mumbled. It was easy trying to lock her down. She grabbed my arm.

"I been lucky since the night you drove me home from the club," she said, referring to the first time we met. I thought back to that night and where we were now. "Even though you didn't say one word to me that whole car ride."

"I was having a bad day," i chuckled, "it wasn't personal. And i showed up to your house the next day didn't i. And day after that, and pretty much everyday after."

"You were,” she nodded. I sat down beside her and pulled her in to me. “I think that’s why I liked you. You were consistent, and I needed that,” she said like she was deep in thought. “Who would have thought back then that we'd be married and have a kid together?"

"I thought so," i said with a loud laugh. She looked at me like i was crazy. "Dead ass. I knew after that first day, that was it, you was the one. I never just wanted to be around someone all the time before,” I played with her hair.

“Why do you say all the right things?” She said softly, looking back at me.

“I also say the wrong things sometimes,” I reminded her. “You was just mad at me yesterday.”

“That’s true,” she gave me a  side eye remembering the petty argument we had gotten into. We didn’t really fight like that anymore. Having a kid together made other things seem irrelevant, and we had a different level of respect for each other now as his parents.

“You know what’s weird? Like a year ago we probably would have been sorting through duffle bags of coke right now,”I said randomly. She laughed.

“Yup, I’d be counting, estimating profits,” she shook her head, “that feels like a life time ago.”

“You was really ride or die for a nigga,” I said, “even when shit was hot,” I looked at the scar on my rib and thought about how she had taken care of me.

“I knew what I signed up for. It was hard for me after the shooting though, I can’t lie. After that day...I knew I was done. Then I got pregnant, and that just pushed me to say what had been in my mind for a long time, it was all about Cam from that moment on,” she played with my hand in hers. “Do you miss all that?”

“Nah. I was done with that part of my life. I was already starting my plan to get out before you told me, but that just made it that much more important to do it. I knew the life you wanted and I wanted to give it to you, and to our kid” I looked over her face. She nodded and we sat in silence for a little bit. After some time she looked down and put a hand to her stomach.

“Sometimes I miss having him inside of me,” she smiled. I raised a brow.

“Does that mean you ready for a second one?” I said excited, pulling her closer in to me.

“Hey don’t get excited. We talked about this, we said next year,”  she reminded me, pushing me away.

“We gotta start now if we gonna get 5 out the way before we old,” I said. She leaned back and looked at me like i was insane. I tried to kiss her and she was trying to run away.

“Cayyyyy” she complained as I planted my lips on her neck.

Cole

***a week later***

Today was the day, and to say I was nervous was an understatement. I had never been this nervous to step out on the football field, or even when I came out to my family. This was different. I knew I wanted to be with Ty forever, but it was the idea of ‘marriage’ that made it all so fucking scary.

It was funny to me because this was all Ty’s idea. He had asked me to marry him. It had crossed my mind too but I wasn’t sure he wanted all that. I was happy to just be whatever we were. Living together was the main thing I had wanted and I got that.

Our families now loved each other and we were both in good places with them. My mom and I were the closest we had ever been, which I wouldn’t have expected 3 years ago after all the family drama. But this wedding was a big part of why we came together. She wanted to be there for me and was happy to see me happy. She was helping me tie my bow tie, and crying while doing it.

“I’m really happy for you Cole” she said, “I can tell Ty is in love with you, and it’s clear you love him.”

“I do,” I said.

“All I’ve ever wanted was this for you. I know it may not always have seemed like it. I just hate that we weren’t on good terms for so long,” she wiped a tear, “when you’re my only son. I know now that I was wrong,” she said.

“I was wrong too mama. I was so angry I couldn’t put my pride aside and fix things with you,” I admitted.

“Well, that’s all in the past now. The important thing is everything is how it should be now. Just me and my baby,” she said with a smile.

“I love you mama” I said, kissing her cheek.

“I love you too baby,” she patted my cheek. “There, you look handsome as ever. That Ty is so lucky he scored you.”

“You ready to walk me down the aisle?” I asked, holding my arm out. Both of our mothers were walking us down. Ty was supposed to go first and I knew he was already there and waiting for me. That made me excited. The music started playing then and my stomach flipped.

“That’s our cue,” my mom said, opened the doors to the ceremony room.  

I could see Ty standing there on a suit, something I hadn’t seen since Cayden and Randi’s wedding, anxiously waiting. He was touching the cuffs on his shirt but then looked up and made eye contact with me. We both smiled and the nerves and anxiety melted away.

The reception was lit. We had a DJ and all our friends and family were on the dance floor. A slow song came on and Ty grabbed me to dance with him. I had been separated from him for a while talking to people.

“I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever,” he said. I smirked.

“Awe you missed me?” I said. He rolled his eyes.

“Maybe,” He said.

“Well you bout to be stuck with me for a real long time now if that makes you feel any better.”

“I still can’t believe we’re married, that’s kind of lame,” he said, looking at the ring on his hand.

“Yeah but it’s cute. We still gonna be the same so,” i shrugged.

“Yeah, I’m glad we did it. For our families too,” he looked around at the people around us and I did the same. There was a lot of people happy to see us happy, and that touched both of us since not everyone was ok with our life style. I spotted Randi then, standing just off the dance floor holding Cameron on her hip. Cayden had his arm around her. I winked at her and she winked back. Both our lives had turned around in a matter of a couple years, and we were happier than ever. It made a nigga a bit emotional. I had been at her wedding and now she was at mine, that was some movie shit.

“I hope your winking at your mother, or else I’m throwing hands,” Ty said, following my gaze. “Oh it’s Randi.”

“You jealous?” I teased.

“Y’all petty niggas deserve each other,” he said, shrugging. “The friendship still confuses me though,” he said.

“Me too. But I just know she been there for me like nobody else, other than you. She was my family when I wasn’t on good terms with mine,” I explained.

“I get that,” he nodded.

“Now i have it all, my family,my friends, and you,” i smirked. He smiled back at me and pulled me in to kiss me.We kissed like it wasn’t a room full of people.

Randi

I was standing watching Cole and Ty be cute when my mom came and took Cam from me.

“You two go dance,” she said, nodding at the dance floor. Cayden took my hand and pulled me in that direction. He put his arms around my waist and I put mine over his shoulders.

“This reminds me of our first dance,” I said, grinning like a little kid. “I’m just missing the dress, and I have an extra 30 pounds on me now but other than that,” I laughed. He slipped his hands to my butt as if we weren’t in public.

“I like the way you look now,” he said, “you sexy as hell to me,” sliding his hands around to my hips, “Shit, i been thinking about taking that dress off all night,”

“Thank you Baby,” I said, “you make me feel sexy.” He really did, even when I was pregnant and blowing up, or now when my body was still not the way it used to be.

When we got home I wanted to take off my makeup and shower so Cay signed up to put Cameron to sleep. I took a quick shower and then went to peak in the nursery wondering what was taking him so long. Cayden was sitting in the rocking chair with Cameron in his lap and a book in his hands. I stood outside listening for a while and i laughed quietly at the voices he gave all the characters. Creating a human with someone changed the relationship forever. Yes i loved him even before i had his baby, but loving Cameron together on top of loving each other was a strange and powerful thing.Plus him being caring and protective was such a turn on and made me wanna give him 5 more kids. He was such a hands on dad too, which i knew he would be. When Cam was first born all I really did was breastfeed or pump, Cayden changed all the diapers, got him cleaned and dressed, and took him when I needed sleep. That’s the kind of husband and dad he was.

"Randi I know you eavesdropping" he said once he was finished the book.

"What?! how did you know?" I moved into view and then walked inside the room.

"I could hear your ass laughing," he said, "You just salty he likes my reading better."

"You are really good at story time," i smiled, sitting on his lap beside Cameron. I looked at his adorable face and took him in like i did several times a day in disbelief at how perfect he was. The best part was he now had freckles coming in slowly just like Cayden’s. I touched his cheek and then Cayden's, comparing.

"Why you not in bed?" Cayden asked.

"Well, I had to tell you something really important," i said seriously like i was gonna drop some big news. His brows came together in confusion.

"What?"

"I been wanting to say this for a while..." i said, dragging it out. "But i wasn't sure how."

"You can tell me anything," he said, rubbing my arm. I sighed then paused.

"Ok, here it goes," i said, "Cayden, i...love you" i grinned. He kissed his teeth and tried to push me off him. I laughed and grabbed on to his neck to stay on. "Babe!" i pleaded, fighting to stay on while he was pushing me.

"Why you waste my time like you was gonna say something important," he said annoyed. He was really mad. I giggled and cupped his cheek.

"Im sorry," i said. "But i really have been wanting to tell you how much i love you," i said. His face changed to a little less mad. “I know I don’t always show my appreciation for you, and I’m not good at the romantic stuff like you, but I just wanted you to know that i do thank God everyday for you. You keep me grounded, and you're my rock” I finished. His cheeks were pink which was so adorable. He hated being complimented and never knew how to respond. He closed the space between us and kissed me tenderly.

“I told you i always got you, and I love you too." Cam grabbed my shirt then and i smiled down at him and picked him up. I held him close to me and he immediately closed his eyes. I looked from him to Cayden, and then back at him and i felt everything I couldn’t years ago during the darkest period of my life. I was filled with hope, and joy, and a fierce love for life.

[animaelynn-blog]

Rant about work, read at your own risk. (I’d appreciate it though)

I want to log this experience.

First, let me tell you a bit about myself.

I’m a trans girl.

It’s been awhile since I’ve had a job, I’ve been looking for work. I’m a very outgoing person and absolutely love to be around people.

One day me and one of my friends went out looking to help get me a job, i brought resumés, and i personally like to fill out paper job applications so the employer knows I’m not the type of person to fill out things online only to not show up, i like to show my initiative.

So, eventually i make my way through the mall and find a place one of my friends work at. It’s amazing! It’s like a gift shop with all kinds of unique things i have tons of interest in, so obviously i ask if they’re hiring and when they gave me a paper application i filled it out then and there.

So, i wait and make sure to either stop in or call to make sure they know I’m serious about working there. Got a date set up for an interview - Aug 15th.

The day come i show up 20 minutes early and rehearse what I’m going to say because i really really want this job. I casually walk into the store about 5 minutes early and say I’m there for the interview. To which the reply was “Could you come back in about 10 minutes, we just had something come up”

Im all like “yeah, not a problem. I’ll be back then.” I sat down on one of the benches in the mall in my free time and quizzes myself trying to drill everything i need to say in my interview into my head. When time expires i took another deep breath and walk in again. I was thanked for my patience and we headed out of the business to a few seats outside the store. (To me this is odd, shouldn’t the interview be in the back where it’s quiet?) regardless i follow and the interview begins and I’m told the reason we’re outside the store is because they just found out that they’re going to have to move locations within the mall and i know more than most of the people that work there because that’s what the interview delay was about. I was asked if that was a problem and i said “no, not at all as long as you just don’t want me strictly for moving things” i said jokingly.

So, the interview continues and I’m feeling great I’m nailing all these questions and one of the questions was something similar to “am i accepting towards other people” and without missing a beat i said “well, absolutely I’m trans so I’d be quite the hypocrite to look down on others.” Oops, accidentally outer myself i thought. I can kiss this job goodbye.

But, to my surprise i was told most of the staff is LGBT and not to worry and that relieved me greatly and i was told i would get a call back soon (i was impossible to get a timeframe because of the move, understandably.)

So, i continued to check in every week or so until i was told to come in and they’d go over the basics and rules with me and get me familiar with the layout. (I wanna say maybe a week later) So, obviously i show up and everything was explained super hap hazardously because i was told “you won’t need to know most of this since were moving to another location... fair enough)

They had me put ceramic and fragile items in the proper boxes and such and then the next week they did the same after those 2 days i filled out a tax paper and was told about the app they used to communicate with and was added and told the schedule would be posted there.

They have me scheduled for 4 hours one day that was all i figured ok cool I’m new that’s no big deal. I was careful packing things and was praised for not breaking anything accidentally because i was told i would and it happens to everyone.

A month and a half pass and i get called into the new store to help organization and learn the new layout. I was secretly upset so i asked my friend when we got off why they didn’t schedule me at all during the move and i was told that the owner doesn’t like women doing heavy lifting and labor because of a past accident (a bit sexist i thought but it made me happy as i was being referred to by my employer as female, so I’ll take it)

My friend also told me in confidence that she was going to be promoted to manager and not to say anything but she was excited and i was excited for her.

My first day working (basically, since i was never really given proper training still.) THEY HAD ME OPEN BY MYSELF. I was sick to my stomach but there was instructions written down to help so i wasn’t worried and under the instructions on what to do and such it read “if any questions please contact (my friend), Manager 1, or Manager 2. (In that order)

My friend was listed first so naturally i thought that was the progression to go through, plus knowing she was in the process of being promoted i figured it was that way to help her understand how manager varies from regular employee. I followed the instructions to a tee. Found things to clean and stay busy during all of my shifts. I loved when the customers would come in it was very easy for me to establish connections and help sell stuff which was ya know my job. Always with a smile.

I’d come in for shifts and people hired around the same time as i was we’re sitting down doing nothing. I’m not the type of person to just tattle on someone so i try to help them and tell them to do anything to stay busy. To me we’re all like a family and i loved my coworkers.

I picked up on things really fast but i have the habit of repeating what was just said or wanting reiteration so i know what I’m doing is correct and it helps me remember for future reference.

Since, i picked up on things easy I’d have my coworkers asking me things which i just learned (because the computer system changed during the move and they were having trouble adjusting to the new one) and i was glad i could help them. It’s my work family i want what is best for us as a whole.

Now, this is where things start to get weird because this comes the day after the whole Trump wants to erase trans people thing.

I was asked my shirt size as all employees needed to wear them on the weekends and was told mine was lost. A few days before i noticed we had a for hire sign in the window which initially didn’t even catch my eye because i was told someone was in the process of getting let go because they made fun of a coworkers weight and didn’t stop.

Later, we had an abrupt day where everyone was to be at the store for retraining (wasn’t surprised because they really didn’t do it to begin with- this included Manager 1 overseeing Manager 2 while Manager 2 reviewed the normal employees. We went through the basics and i nailed it again, i actually got ahead of the Manager on something and how they were to be done because i was so proud of what I’d learned by myself with basically zero training.

I left there estatic. I nailed it.

I was asked about a minor screw up on my part i was never told about so i wasn’t worried.

I was asked “why i clocked out an 30 mins after close” to which i replied it was my first day closing and i wanted to triple check my math to make sure all the earnings for the day was accounted for.” To which i was told 15 mins after close is the absolute latest and i told my manager that it wouldn’t happen again.

I was also asked about my friend (you know the one that was going to get promoted to manager?) i was asked if i was told she was a manager to which i said no. Because ya know when something is said in confidence it stays there and i wasn’t about to get someone i deeply care about in trouble or fired especially someone who worked there basically since the beginning. I’m not the type of person to ever bring this info to their attention or hold it over their head. I believe good things come to good people.

A few hours later, i got this message through the app we used at work.

“Hi (My Name),

As you know I was in today to review employee status at (The store). After reviewing the status of all team members with (the owner) and (manager 2), it has been decided that we will not be able to continue your employment with (the business) long term. You can continue to work the next week that you're scheduled, and we can schedule you for one more week of work after that. November 10th would be the last possible day. We wanted to give you the courtesy of an advanced notice so that you can make future plans for yourself.”

I sat in my car re-reading this message thinking it had to be sent to the wrong person.

My first, response to this message was vague and thankful for the opportunity type response.

However, after talking to a few of my closest friends i was convinced to inquire more about this to which i was sent this message.

“(My name),

The issues we have been observing include difficulty with approaching customers and difficulty taking instruction and focusing on tasks. As the final decision was made with (the owners) input, it is not reversible.

These were my strengths, the things i was most proud of. I would have understood if it was things i wasn’t great at. But, it wasn’t. Which besides telling me in person was another slap in the face.

It because obvious that they were not basing any of this on any of the days i actually worked but only on a few hours that day. Keep in mind i never worked with anyone longer than one hour and worked alone mostly. At no point until the review day did i ever work with any of my managers since the store opened.

I got fucked over and I’m now currently looking for a job that accepts trans people and a place that actually takes interest in me as an employee and not a number.

Sorry, for this rant. I just wanted to share my frustration.

[rennyji]

about party schools and proof and effect of their reputation...

May 27th tweets...

The reputed party school wants to spend 11 years wondering why “I don’t go out” in the sense of bars/partying. For their personalities or the kids they’re used to, from the low grade requirements for their school(nothing against anyone for getting admission there), -

-I suppose it’s to be expected. With my grades at Iona Prep High School, I had scholarships with free laptops at some decent private schools. But I chose to go to the Harvard of the SUNY’s: Binghamton University. -

-I transferred out, because I wanted a fresh start with a new major, late in my academic career, after an attempt at electricalEngineering. The only place that’d take me is a reputed party school. Theyre probably like F* you in reading this, but being the truth, it’s undeniable.-

-And at that point in my academic career, I thought, what's in a name to a school or its reputation. But look what happens when you go to some places. Leaving Binghamton was the worst decision for so many normal/abnormal reasons. -

- i mean, for one thing, your grades reflect on the kind of person you are. it can say your hard working, or equally smart but just want to take it easy and do things like party and alcohol and drugs all day. but different story, moving on...-

-I used to spend a lot of time in computer science lounge and in the faculty department common room, at said party school. Despite me being there almost everyday, and at the Starbucks in Colonie, NY for networking, where this location is at the center of multiple Universities,-

-the professors who had a role in this, sided with random kids they don’t see in that area often. I guess it’s because they partied and I studied. “Sided “in that they listened to random kids who don’t know me, rather than talk to the guy in their vicinity on a daily basis. -

-Such is the reputed party school. While in the common area, I heard one of their professors say, they take as many kids from a local community college: Hudson Valley, to boost their graduation rates. -

-I guess they don’t get the kids they need for that in normal admissions at a reputed party school. As I hear them talking sometimes, while making me look crazy for it, you should have heard their astonishment at the Binghamton common computer area in comparison to what they-

-have at their reputed party school. It says a lot about reputations. The orchestrators try to make it seem like, the way I am in a ridiculous situation(probably filmed or the equivalent all day), while living with my parents, is how I am. -

- They’ve been doing this for 11 years, after robbing me of my opportunities for 11 years. I had a life before this, and I intend to continue to, after, with my own network, family, etc, away from these orchestrators and their craziness.-

- &another thing, regarding the party school, think im just saying things? check the books. and are their graduates or students going to get mad at me, despite the school's clear role and for calling the students equally smart, a number of tweets ago? well, oops, OK..moving on.-

moving onto addressing something else...-

-The orchestrators are always misusing people under the pretense that I’m a picked on kid. I’m a successful, grown man. -

-Not because I’m conceited,  but from life experience, I wrote 11 yrs ago: “I’m not the last person people harass, but I’m also far from the first.” When it happens, with my image (while chubby, and not handsome now), I know somethings up. -

-Try me, and be direct about it, rather than do something ridiculous from afar. I don’t waste time on idiots. -

-The orchestrators perpetuate and take part, and make official and global, a small rumor of a girl I don’t know or knows me (or her misguided teenage friends who also don’t know me nor do I know them-big theme in this, with all involved) from 11 years ago.-

-The only thing that ever harmed me, abused me, or robbed me of health and opportunities, is the orchestrators. -

-Teenage kids have no power. Whatever effect they have dies down. It takes something big or reputable (like adults of a particular standing) to give their ideology power. -

-These adults...I don’t know them, they don’t know me...I don’t understand their 11 year project/vendetta/-whatever this massive lie is, against me. Maybe it started with just wanting to make money off of me and my life and my lifestyle. -

-In trying to address this 11 year problem, my true focus: my career, gets hidden, and you end up thinking I’m taking part, or after the cr*p-ola of the orchestrators. I’m big on what’s natural. -

-Anywho, I wrote this 1st in the “Notes app” on my iPhone yesterday, to publish on Twitter & tumbler today, in case I forgot. - in case todays posting was seen earlier...think it happens to emails sent to myself and other things...-

-Focus on what’s 4 each day on Twitter &tumbler, despite what cannot be helped i.e. the random relaying of everything @ any time, since no 1 helps me stop it by talking 2 me. Imagine what would happen if you told me-the power to save myself...what a great thing you'd be doing...

about that party school? before things escalated, as soon as I noticed the potential for a problem behind a situation occurring without telling me, I went to their Conflict Resolution office at their school and told them about my concerns and what I noticed-

- the next day, the guy that spoke to me, walks in a different direction, from a small distance, forces a head turn, and gives me a retarded smile. -

-Despite my "reporting things" like one does to the police in the face of a problem, that school went crazy against me on the day of my 2012 finals. can you imagine a school allowed to go nuts on the day of a student's final exams? -

-once again, goes back to the talk about reputations from several tweets ago - this morning. Ur reputation is who you are and reflects in your actions...and here we're dealing with a reputed party school...while they slander my reputation by putting me in retarded predicaments.-

- so many bad experiences with students and faculty at that school...in the first dorm suite i lived in, 5 guys pushed me into my room for pushing them back alone, by myself, for telling them to pitch in cleaning-

-&one of them - a stupid fraternity idiot - rushed to tell on me, saying i punched him. in a part time job, i told  the guy i was working w/to teach me the trade or get the phone in my cubicle working in an area with no cell reception. he just responds nastily and it culminates-

- on another occassion, i locked myself out of my room in a different dorm suite, b4 going to my next part time job, which was in their down town. took the highway to get there. went to the faculty and told them my problem - that i had work, can't be late, need to get in my room-

-they tell me that i have to wait 2 hours b/c that's when their services are officially available. what if it was class & i needed my backpack? when they eventually agreed 2 help me, the woman i was speaking with, probably saw me going to my dorm building, -

-& she drives around &past me w/a nasty look to spite me 4asking them, when saying she'll go to my room and unlock it. when i think i went back to their office &told them about it, she claims she went to my building &waited, but i didn't show up. i saw her drive in a circle.

- and that second part time job...to prove myself useful when things weren't busy with a computer job, i would, alone, move big shelves, i think desks, &other furniture, down a floor or two. It was a gesture on my part after hearing them talk about no one clearing their office-

-after the things i did for them, i emailed them if they knew anything about this, &never a response. -

this is the party school now wondering about why i'm not out, socializing, getting laid all day/everyday, hitting the bars, or whatever. To the orchestrators: leave my life alone. They're so much proof to all this...i guess amidst everything else, maybe they can see memories...-

- i mean would it kill these people to go the conventional route and use a lie detector with all involved? It's so easy to clear this up. Based on what I truly want for my life, all of this is a mess.

- based on tech they use, in claiming 2 help me(when i need no help aside from telling me whats happening), they try to justify lies 2slander me or try to get me 2write all day. They perpetuate nonsense 2get me 2write, 2 I guess, see if they can predict it-to put it another way.

and going back to conflict resolution at the party school? there was one thing i forgot to mention. not only did he allow this to transpire without telling me. -

-on the day of my exams, when the sounds projected 2 me, made threats 2 a relative of mine, there, by saying "maybe we should help him too", I called Conflict Resolution @ party school several times. They wouldn't pick up. I think I left messages, but no call back. -

- in the face of harassment, threats, evolving to what it is today, under a false impression by people of power, such is the party school.

- U gotta wonder amidst yrs of this mental strain, especially at party school, where was cr*p flowery Amerian psychology/counseling system, what was the school's Conflict Resolution doing. -

-at that party school, failures all around..at the time I was there, academic departments were closing like i think their French department. but whatever. orchestrators are people in power, parading as those of quality, when they're not. 11 years of torture attest to that.

and one normal tweet for when we can move past this...-

love the @onepeloton (peloton). love #leannehainsby (cycling trainer) for her appearance, personality, and training.

[phan-of-the-pen]

I Dare You To Stay: Chapter 3

Hey guys! New chapter! I also used the song Resistance by Muse. ALSO I’m on spring break today so I’m going to have more free time!! That means more chapters!! :D

Tags for chapter: fluff, lowkey flirting

Words for chapter: ~3.8k

Fic Summary: Dan Howell is a barista working a shitty job, frequenting his shitty apartment, and living a shitty existence, hiding his asexuality and going for a PHD in self-depreciation and depression. Phil Lester is a part-time intern, part-time employee at a local weather station, trying to get experience in his field and make a name for himself, while juggling a second job at the nearby Tesco’s to give him some financial breathing room. Their paths were never supposed to meet, but what happens when they do anyways, one rainy day in Manchester?

(ao3 link)

<-- Previous chapter Next chapter -->

~~~~~~~~~~

After about a week had gone by, Dan was feeling much more like himself. His mental health had balanced out a little, the chemicals in his brain righting themselves to as good as they ever got, and the few symptoms that he had experienced due to his concussion had faded away. Which was good, because Dan was sure that if he forgot what kind of coffee he had been in the middle of making one more time Jaime was going to kick him out of the store until he was fully healed.

Besides the normal mishaps that happened on a day-to-day basis regardless of concussions involved, the week was relatively decent enough and lacking in any special "charm", as Jaime put it. But it wasn't like Dan was complaining. Yeah, it was good to be doing something, but having a slower-than-normal week was perfect for giving Dan's health a little bit of time to catch up. Dan also didn't have to work with Steve at all this past week, which was an absolute blessing, thank god.

Dan did end up taking the whole "limiting screen time" thing a bit hard. There were multiple times where he would subconsciously pull his phone out of his back pocket to check the time or scroll through social media when there weren't any customers around, just for Jaime to pluck it right out of his hands with a tsk. And he would groan and mumble about how "unfair" she was being, but really he was kind of glad that he had someone to make sure he didn't screw his brain up any more than he already had.

And, because staying up until 4AM on Tumblr wasn't an option anymore, he was significantly much more well-rested, resulting in a much smaller consumption of caffeine, which his body seemed to be thanking him for. Funny how things can work out like that.

It was a Monday, and he was for once alone in the shop. Steve was in some other country for holiday and Jaime had come down with a nasty cold over the weekend. And, surprisingly enough, that exhausted all of their options. The store itself was small, so it easily got by with few employees, but as it was minus Dan, Jaime, and Steve, the rest of the help were teenagers still in school that took shifts on the weekends and some nights. What was Dan going to do?—call one of the kids and ask them "uh yeah hey I know you're in the middle of class right now, but could you maybe cover for someone who called out sick?". No, Dan would pass on that.

His phone dinged in his pocket, and his chuckled. That would be Jaime, for the millionth time today already, complaining that she was "literally dying". There was no one in the shop, so Dan palmed his phone, unlocking it with a swipe of his finger. He laughed at Jaime's message and replied, biting his lip to unconsciously try to hide his smile.

>> From: my maraschino cherry

dan i cant even get out of bed to write my will

how will ppl know all of my millions go to my cat

>> To: my maraschino cherry

two problems:

1 you dont have a cat

2 i know full well you have abt 37€ to your name

>> From: my maraschino cherry

i cant believe you would be this rude to me when im dying

>> To: my maraschino cherry

if ur gonna die im getting ur paycheck

>> From: my maraschino cherry

if im gonna die im gonna haunt your ass for the rest of ur miserable life howell

Dan laughed, but a teenager that was obviously skipping school walked in the store, so he pocketed his phone for the moment. She ended up ordering a coffee but didn't stray from the counter, instead she very obviously flicked her eyes over Dan and tried to flirt with him. Fortunately for Dan, however, she could tell after a few moments of his awkward stuttering and the uncomfortable hunch of his shoulders that he wasn't interested, and she backed down, wishing him a good day and walking back out of the store, throwing a "Thanks for the coffee!" over her shoulder.

When she was gone Dan let out a sigh of relief and relaxed against the counter. He hated being flirted with. It made him way too anxious and stressed out.

This Monday was the slowest day he had seen in a very long time, possibly the most empty he had ever seen the store in the entire time he had worked here, which had been quite a while. Three hours had passed since that girl had come in, and no one else had entered the store, leaving Dan alone. He'd made himself two coffee's, had his lunch break, played several games on his phone, and even face-timed Jaime. Now though, Jaime was sleeping, his phone was nearly dead, and he still had another four hours before his shift was ending. Would he last until six? Time would only tell, that was for sure.

Dan slumped through another forty-five minutes of him lazing around the coffee shop, counting the cars as they passed by. He nearly fell asleep once, and because he so happened to be working in a coffee shop, Dan made him a double caramel macchiato with an absurd amount of sugar in it. He quite nearly chugged it, just for something to do, but settled for a slightly more reserved series of large gulps.

Afterwards, he used the key in his pocket to unlock the manager's office. Well, "office" was a bit of a stretch. It was mainly just a tiny room where the security monitor was housed as well as the filing cabinet that was sure to hold things like employee records and information on ingredients purchased and such. Dan's key didn't open that, and since his key was actually Jaime's she didn't have access to that either. The only one who did was the owner.

Dan sat at the desk, looking around for some sorts of PA system. He had never really been back here, only seen Jaime come in to turn the store's music on and turn it off every day they worked together. And frankly, even if Jaime was technically the manager, she had given Dan the temporary title when he stopped by her apartment to grab the keys to the store when she called him to tell him that she was sick, and that meant that he could choose the music, today. He'd been playing songs on his phone for the day, as some source of background noise, but with the nearing death of his phone, he had stopped the app awhile ago.

Maybe music is the key to ending this suffering, Dan thought, shuffling papers out of the way, still looking. Maybe, if I can ever find the damn thing.

Dan huffed, defeated, slumping against the chair. He absentmindedly spun in it a little, rocking from left to right, thinking. So, there was obviously no little radio or something back here, connected to the speakers, so that was out of the question. There was also no microphone or anything of the sorts that could be used to broadcast music via an outside source like a phone, which wouldn't have helped him anyways with said almost-dead battery. He sat, turning the problem in question around in his head. Dan left his head fall back on the headrest, puffing out his cheeks and staring at the ceiling. He spun himself in the chair with his foot, watching as the peeling paint above him swirled with him. When he came to a stop he picked his head up, thinking about how that was probably not the greatest for his head after a recent concussion, and his gaze landed right on the computer.

He wasn't sure about his possible success rate, but he sat up, switching the monitor on. A screen for a password came up, and Dan looked at it for a moment before putting in his employee pin. The computer beeped but the screen didn't change. A pop-up surfaced: Your password was incorrect.

Dan frowned, but then lit up almost immediately as the pieces clicked into place. Of course his pin wouldn't work; he wasn't the manager of the store and didn't have a key to this back room, so it wouldn't make any sense for his employee number to work. However, Jaime was the manager, and they had clocked in for each other more than enough times at this point for each other to know their pins.

He typed out her six-number pin and hit 'enter' but this time when the computer beeped, there was no pop-up. The home screen opened and Dan smiled. There wasn't much on the screen, but he flicked his eyes over the small selection of apps lined up on the left side of the screen and clicked on one who's icon was a blue eighth note. What was basically a souped-up Spotify opened, and Dan scrolled through the music selection available. There was a history bar, but the only thing on there was the local pop station, which was obviously what Jaime played day to day.

Dan knew that this was a work computer and everything on it was probably recorded and such, and—not to mention the fact that at some point today there were going to be customers so he couldn't choose something nuts—as a result he passed by everything in the search that was heavier, more on the rock and roll side. He finally picked with a huge grin on his face, settling on one of the band's albums and hitting play, cackling when he heard the sound burst through the speakers in the front of the store. Dan raised the volume a little—just a tad, really—and stood, making his way out of the manager's office in higher spirits than he entered it with. Dan re-locked the door behind him and made his way back behind the counter with a bounce in his step.

The next half an hour was better with music to keep him company, especially with his favorite artist easing the boredom that Dan felt. He was enjoying himself, if only slightly. Darkshines faded out and Dan had just finished texting Jaime (who was probably still asleep) that he was having a ton of fun here by himself (which was only half true; the music was good, yes, but he would have preferred some company too). Dan wasn't really paying too much attention to what was playing through the speakers, but when the almost haunting sound was taken over by a wonderful piano solo and the backbeat of a drum that Dan knew so well, he dropped his phone onto the counter and forgot about it completely. Dan grinned so wide he might have been afraid of his face splitting right in two.

He sang along, gaining confidence in the vacant coffee shop with every verse. Dan drummed on the counter to the guitar, the drums, even the rise and fall of the vocals of the song itself. Dan laughed, dancing on his feet as the chorus crashed.

Love is our resistance,

They'll keep us apart and won't stop breaking us down,

Hold me,

Our lips must always be sealed

Dan was honestly having fun at that point. One of his favorite songs of all time was on, and frankly, it had picked up his whole mood.

So, really, Dan couldn't be blamed when he didn't notice the little chime of the bell on top of the front door over the music, but he did notice that he had an audience when he spun around—still, admittedly, dancing—to find a tall, skinny man with dark, dark hair and very pale skin standing, a few steps inside the store, stopped dead in his tracks, mouth open a little and eyes wide, eyebrows high on his forehead.

Dan yelped, startled and very nearly slipping on his own two feet. He felt his face flush immediately and the guy himself had a dusting of pink on his cheeks, but it was undoubtedly much much more controlled than Dan's. His mouth went dry and he suddenly wished very much that Jaime was here, because if she was, Dan wouldn't have had his choice in music, and him getting caught dancing by a stranger wouldn't have happened, damnit.

"Uh...sorry. C-can I help you?" Dan stuttered, his face still hot. One of his hands was shaking but he just slipped it into his pocket. The guy blinked and Resistance was over, the music fading into something else, and the spell between them seemed to break, returning reality to its original state. The stranger nodded, stepping forward, a small smile on his face.

"It's okay, I like Muse too, I just wasn't expecting it," he said, chuckling, "and I'll have one caramel macchiato, please," he finished, biting his lip a little at the end of his sentence. Dan nodded, turning around and started to make the coffee, grateful to not have to hold the guy's gaze, but Dan could feel his eyes burning holes into Dan's back the entire time that he mixed the drink. He tried not to feel more uncomfortable and embarrassed than he already was. It wasn't working.

"Here you go," Dan said, handing the drink over, "one caramel macchiato." Their hands brushed and Dan flicked his eyes up from where his gaze was resting on the counter. He was looking at Dan weird. Did Dan say something? Offend the guy?

But as Dan finally met the stranger's eyes with his own, he became abruptly aware of how blue they were. A memory surfaced, one of colliding head-first with a stranger on the street with similarly gorgeous eyes, causing Dan to look the guy over. He had the eyes, the same combination of pretty and handsome that Dan remembered through the haze of his headache, the same everything that Dan had remembered. Except for the pair of black glasses perched on his nose.

In all fairness, the guy had flicked his eyes over Dan too, and was looking at him expectantly, a question that Dan couldn't read in his eyes.

"Did you...this is going to sound weird, but did you happen to, ah, run into anyone? Like last week-ish? And them possibly fall over?" Dan squeaked, his small amount of confidence burning out mid-way through his question but Dan's social anxiety keeping him from dropping it.

The man smiled, and it was blinding.

"Yeah! I was wondering if it was you because you looked so familiar, but I didn't want to say anything and seem like a creep. I'm glad you said something!" He laughed, and it was the happiest sound Dan had ever heard. He could feel his blush. The stranger who Dan did-and-didn't know stuck his hand out, that smile still there.

Dan shook it, his head still whirling. His hands were just as warm as Dan remembered them, as utterly creepy that sounded in his head.

"I'm Phil, by the way, it's nice to meet you again."

"Uh, Dan. And...yeah," he replied lamely.

Internally, he groaned. Can he really be any stupider in a social conversation? Is that possible?

Phil was still smiling, but it dampened a little and he looked concerned. "How is your head, by the way? Better, hopefully?"

"Oh, yeah, it still throbs every once in awhile just to be a pain in the ass, but I think I'm good at this point. You were right though—I had a concussion. My friend ended up taking me to the doctor's."

Phil grimaced in sympathy.

"I can't say that I'm jealous of that. I'm quite a clumsy person, so I've had my fair share of concussions. I'm glad you're feeling better though! I was wondering if you were okay like, the entire rest of the day we ran into each other. I felt so guilty."

Damn, he'd probably double over if I told him that I stayed in bed for like 48 hours straight after that fall, Dan thought, eh, it was for a different reason though, maybe not.

Instead of voicing his thoughts, Dan chuckled a little.

"The whole day, huh? That's pretty empathetic, especially for a stranger."

"Oi! You looked like you were about to fall over! It was like walking one of my drunk friends home!" Phil said, almost a whine. Dan laughed, he couldn't help it really, there was just something inexplicably funny about Phil grumbling as he was.

"Besides, we aren't strangers anymore, so you're point is totally invalid."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. I'm Phil, you're Dan. Dan and Phil. Phil and Dan. We know each other's names so we're totally not strangers."

Dan snorted and shook his head. His phone beeped on the counter, definitely just Jaime replying to him, probably telling him not to have so much fun when she was dying.

"Aw, you're ringer isn't a Muse song. I'm disappointed now." Phil said and Dan rolled his eyes.

"I don't like Muse that much, mate."

Phil scoffed playfully, and gave Dan a look.

"Really? I walked in here with you giving your own little performance of Resistance by Muse. Quite entertainingly, really, and I can bet that no one who 'doesn't like Muse that much' would do that, mate."

Dan felt a little off at that. Partially because Phil saw right through Dan's bullshit and his easy-going jibe at Dan's use of 'mate'.

"Fine, you caught me, guilty as charged and all that—I love Muse. They're my absolute favorite music group and the owners of my literal soul." At the end, Dan had gotten a bit sarcastic, but overall the statement was true. Phil smiled, but this one was different, it was slyer, like he knew a secret that Dan didn't.

"I thought so, Dan."

Dan almost choked on his own spit when Phil said his name like that. And Dan wasn't even sure what 'like that' even meant, he just knew that there was something different at how his name rolled off of Phil's lips.

Phil's eyes went a little wide, his mouth forming an 'o' like he was remembering something.

"Oh yeah! I totally forgot to pay!" Phil reached into his back pocket, and Dan's eyes totally didn't follow the movement, thank you very much. He pulled out a leather wallet and opened it up, placing his coffee on the counter so he could use two hands and was already pulling out money, but Dan snapped back to attention and waved it away.

"No no, you keep that Phil."

"Dan, I've got to pay for my coffee."

"Nope, I won't let you. It's on me, okay? I ran into you that night, you walked me home and made sure I got in safely, trust me, you keep your money, Phil."

"Dan, we ran into each other, you can't really count that," Phil said, trying to hand Dan what was enough to buy two coffees. Dan pushed Phil's hands away, giving the guy an exasperated look.

"I can and I will. Look, even if you don't count that, you still walked me home, I still owe you."

"That's not how it works."

"You did a favor for me, I'm doing a favor for you; that's so how it works."

"Dan-"

"Take the damn coffee, Phil," Dan said, and following an impulse, plucked the wallet out of Phil's hands, slipped the money back inside and shut it. Dan leaned over the counter a little for a better reach, one of his hands braced on the counter, and put the wallet into the pocket on Phil's shirt. Dan pulled back, rocking on his heels a little, and flashed Phil a little smile. Phil shook his head, but there was a smile on his face.

"You are very stubborn, Dan"

"Thanks."

Phil laughed and picked up his coffee, taking a sip. His face lit up and he looked down at the steaming drink in his hands.

"Wow this is actually really good," he said, surprise in his voice.

"You are one of those really supportive friends, aren't you, Phil." Dan snorted.

"Hey!" Phil cried, indignantly. "How do I know that fall didn't, like, scramble your brains or something? Forever impair your coffee-making abilities?"

Dan laughed again, and honestly, he couldn't help it if he tried. Phil was just too...too Phil. Dan didn't know what was about him, but now that he wasn't severely concussed, he was aware of how fun Phil seemed to be around.

It turned out that Phil had been looking around for a place to stay and burn some time before he had to get into work, so he stayed up at the counter, and he and Phil fooled around for a little, joking and teasing each other. Dan had made himself a drink (a smoothie this time because he didn't think his system could handle any more caffeine without imploding) and Phil had another coffee and a danish from their display case (which he actually paid for because he quite literally just wouldn't accept Dan waving the money away). When it came time for Phil to leave, however, the process nearly took almost fifteen minutes because neither of them would shut up. When Phil was at the glass door and they were still trading jokes, he looked at his watch and said something about running late from staying too long, and even though he didn't seem too concerned about it, Dan certainly was, shooing him out with a "Phil! Go! I swear to god if you're late to work!". Phil had laughed his way out and so had Dan, really.

When he was gone though, Dan couldn't help but feel a little lonely. He hadn't really had anyone around all day besides the very few customers that had popped in for a few minutes, and Phil's presence was a welcome change in all of it. Now that he was gone the store felt much more empty than before.

Thankfully for Dan though, soon after, things started to pick up. More and more people came in for their evening coffee, and with the customers, Dan was busy, which was good enough. When his shift was over, and two teens had come in to take over the store, Dan had forgone getting a taxi home to walk under the gloom of the Manchester skies. He stopped by a fast-food place to grab some dinner on his way back to his flat.

And if he paused and looked around at a particular corner close to home, his spirits dropping a little at the sight of nothing and nobody around him, no one had to know.

[wasabi-duck]

romeo - namjoon

idk how to label this because romeo and juliet is obviously Straight so like im just calling it romeo namjoon so i hope you enjoy!! again, it’s gender neutral so!!

hey people i submitted all my college apps so i think i can maybe try harder with this blog

okay so for this au!! you and namjoon are fated to be together

the kim family is really really prominent in society today

not so much political or social, but economically-speaking they’re one of the top players across the board

his family controls the shipping market, whether it be post, or air, or sea

they control it all

almost everything goes through the kim family shipping industry if it isn’t public post

and that’s just the domestic market, they also do a whole ton of international business too, and have a presence all across the globe- from china, to the usa, to germany

growing up, namjoon knew that he was going to inherit the business

his entire life his family prepped him for the business, whether it be training in how to be polite and diplomatic, to going to the most prestigious schools in the country to make sure that he was over and beyond when it came to areas like economics and maths

namjoon’s entire existence revolved around being the heir for the powerful kim business, and it was almost like he wasn’t allowed to exist

he was there for the money, the power, the glory

never for himself

he always lived in the shadow of his parents, or the business

as he got older, things got worse

because more expectations were pushed on him, and suddenly the 97 in differential equations wasn’t good enough, he needed 100

and days where he used to sit in his room, messing around with a music program on his computer… he now needs to force himself to meet anyone and everyone who might have some relation to his future in the business world, half of them who are over the age of like… seventy-two

and as he got older, things also got worse because of well…

you

well, not exactly you, but your family

your family runs the most well-known media outlet in the country

and that’s just a nice way to put it

you guys are basically the paparazzi, and although there are other, smaller groups around, none of them compare to your family

seeing as how the kims are the most influential people in the shipping business, and some of the most powerful people in the business playing field, so your basically always trailing them wherever they go

it’s never a role that you wanted to be a part of

you always wanted to be a normal kid, with a normal life

but you remember one of your first gifts being a camera, and not like a cute lil baby camera, but a nice, expensive one

and you were like anyway i was like five but…

so your entire life you’ve been told that the most important goal is to find the truth, no matter what the cost

but your family definitely stretched that a bit, and you can’t help but think they invade to many private lives just to get a story, just to find anything that will make the public go absolutely wild

because of this, you’ve run into namjoon more than a few times

never personally, and never to chit-chat, but simply because you were on the scene, your camera held in your shaking hands as you tried to snap pictures of him getting out of the airport

you kind of… think he’s cute…

but it’s not like you could ever approach him

you know his family hates your family’s guts…

and your family isn’t necessarily a fan of the kims either

your family just sticks with them for the money, there’s no idolization there, actually quite the opposite, they dislike the kims for their disillusion towards the general public

when you sit down and think about it, more of the stories your family has published have been scandalous

which you know is because the public likes that…

but also because your family wants to see them pay for their general disregard and mistreatment of the public

because the kims are notorious for having prices much too high for the average person to pay continually, and since they have a monopoly on the industry, there is no competition and no incentive to work better

and so to say that there’s some animosity between your families… would be right

but you’re drawn to namjoon

he seems different from his family

where they all appear stiff and cold, his smile could light up an entire room

you’ve never seen him speak rudely to any of the paparazzi, or the public

he handles himself so professionally, and when you have had the privilege to sit in on press conference or public business meetings… he always is polite and courteous, and always listens to what everyone else has to say

and you kinda have a lil crush on him

but you’re just the shy kid behind the camera…

so like, he’d never notice you anyway

but then…

an invitation to a party shows up on your doorstep one day

your crazy mother realizes that ah yes, a party for the most socially elite means that you can get so much dirt on people there, so she’s like haha… you gotta go

and you’re like can i not i would rather sit inside and marry leo off to selena because they are my otp,,,

and your mom is like anyway you better figure out what you’re wearing

you wanna know how the hell you got invited in the first place, but you guess because your family is socially prominent you were somehow invited too…

okay so party time

it’s at some nightclub??

your girl is underage as heck so idk what they’re about

anyway i imagine some great dance music would be playing, with the bass super boosted, like idk… everytime we touch by cascada

and the lights are all dark but they have strobe lights going i think that’s what they’re called at least

and it’s, like i said, super dark, so it’s not like you can see anyone, and you maybe forgot your camera

and like there are so many people!! no matter where you go, there are at least twenty people accidentally bumping into you and it’s all a little overwhelming, so you grab a drink (grape juice) and head over to the back corner of the club where it’s less noisy, and there are less people around to bother you,,,

finally, some peace and quiet…

you close your eyes and take a deep breath

your parents would flip if you came home early, and there’s no use being outside, alone, in the dark, when everything is closed…

so you stay put, instead rummaging around your bag to see if you can find your earbuds and phone so you can just chill by yourself

you grab onto what you assume is your earbuds, but before you can pull them out, someone bumps into you, with enough impact that you topple forward

the person, apparently startled just as much as you, loses their balances, and falls on the ground right beside you

you look up

and everything slows down

it’s the part of everytime we touch where she’s like your arms are my castle btw

you blink, your eyes unable to focus in the dim light, and when your vision finally clears, you recognize the person to be none other than kim namjoon…

you startle, quickly pulling away from him, your face red in embarrassment

namjoon frowns, clearly confused, but then a look of recognition spreads across his face and he smiles a little shyly

“i think i know you.”

you nod slowly, not taking your gaze off of him

“i think i know you too…”

he stands up, then offers you a hand, which you take gratefully

he coughs awkwardly and you put your hand on the back of your neck

“um… i’m namjoon.”

and you introduce yourself too, and you almost feel the need to apologize because you’re sure that you and your family have caused him so much trouble

but you don’t know what to say, but you stay silent, unsure of what you should do next

namjoon doesn’t say anything at first, but then he sees something on the floor, and bends over to pick it up

it’s your earbuds

he hands them over with a small smile “i had the same idea.”

“parties aren’t really my thing…” you laugh softly

“mine either.” he pauses, shoving his hands in his pockets before adding, “so if you want to… maybe head outside?”

your brows furrow

“god that probably sounded creepy, i meant, like get out of here, i know a cool little diner that’s open twenty-four hours, the coffee sucks, but the dessert is pretty great.”

you laugh and nod sheepishly “yah, that sounds nice.”

so you and namjoon dip out of the party, and head down to the cafe where you talk the entire night away

you exchange numbers too hehe

anyway, as the weeks progress, you two talk more and more, and things get a little flirtier and flirtier

and you’ve become glued to your phone, and your cousin, yoongi, is like, “anyway who’s the hot babe and do they have a brother”

and youre like “yoongi,,, plz,,, it is not like that, namjoon is just a- ooPS”

cause you had namjoon under a code name like “B)” or something awful like that and you thought that you had this all under wraps but now you just basically admitted everything to yoongi isn’t that just the greatest

“kim namjoon? like the guy our family is so intent on stalking and tarnishing his name and everything? the kim namjoon who wears beanie when it is obviously bucket hat season?? that kim namjoon?”

“um…”

“he totally has a hot cousin.”

you blink “so wait, you’re not… telling on me?”

yoongi shrugs “i don’t see why i should.”

and you smile and hug him and yoongi just laughs and ruffles your hair

yoongi is the one who covers for you when you sneak out to see namjoon

and boy howdy do you see namjoon a lot

like yoongi always drives you to meet up with him, whether it be the diner, or the park, or the city!!

and he always makes awful excuses when your family asks where you are

and namjoon’s cousin, jungkook, does the same thing for him, and the two of them often meet up and laugh about it over bitter coffee

you and namjoon are so in love though, and it’s a passionate affair, not for the cheating aspect, god no, but because everything must be done in secret

every time you press your lips to his, you’re afraid that suddenly your mother will walk around the corner and rip you away from his arms

and when you two are out and about, walking down the streets, your hold his hand so tightly, so fearful that you could be torn away from him at any second

every time you call him it’s late at night, because you’re scared that your father might accidentally stop and listen in when you’re least expecting it, and your entire world will crumble to pieces

namjoon is the same way though, extra careful, extra cautious, and he always says it, says he hates how you two have to hide your relationship just because your guys’ parents hate each other

but it’s something he’s willing to hide if it means seeing you every day, being with you every day

except that you two aren’t as careful as you should hope to be, because one day you leave your phone unlocked and it just so happens that your mother was cleaning up your room a little bit, and she picked up the phone and read the messages and realized that these gentle “i love yous” were all sent to none other than kim namjoon

and she hurries down the steps, your phone in her hand, cursing and shouting and asking you what in the hell you’re thinking

and your eyes widen in horror as you realize your mistake and you rush over to try and grab the phone from her hands, but in a fit of rage, she throws the phone down and it’s probably an awful iphone or something so the entire thing shatters in a million pieces

this of course is your breaking point, and you start to sob, begging your mother to change her mind, trying to tell her that there’s nothing wrong about this, but she doesn’t listen, instead storms off to go talk to your father

you kneel down and hold the broken phone in your hands, continuing to cry harder

yoongi, startled by the commotion, comes racing in, and when he sees you, sees the scene, everything clicks

he holds you in his arms and promising things will be okay but you know they will not

after that, your parents ban you from leaving the house

you are confined to your room, and if you want to leave your room, you have to stay within the house, even being limited to indoors, as in, like can’t even see the garden

at first, namjoon thinks you’re ignoring him or something and his heart breaks because it’s not like you to ignore him, ever

but yoongi texts jungkook who tells namjoon the situation, and from that moment on, he is planning a way to get you back

one night, it’s been like a week since the incident, you are sitting on your bed, watching psych

when you hear a faint knock

you think it must be a squirrel or something like that outside?

so you ignore it

but the noise continues

so you head over to your window, and step out into the balcony, and standing there, with a large bag slung over his shoulders, is namjoon

he waves, and you cup your hands over your mouth

“are you coming?”

“like hell i’m gonna trust you to catch me!”

you laugh, and the tears have already started to prick the corners of your eyes

he smiles softly “i love you”

“I love you too namjoon…”

and im saying the balcony isn’t super high so you’re like fxxk it and you jump and he catches you and you’re both safe and sound

and when you are safely on your feet, you lean up and kiss him and he wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you close

and it feels like you kiss him for an eternity, and you want to kiss him for an eternity, but he says there’s no time, and that you two need to hurry before someone realizes something is up

he says that his friend hoseok is offering up his place for you two to stay

and with that, you two vanish into the night

obviously both sets of parents find out, and it doesn’t take them long to realize where you two are hiding

but namjoon is like nah not coming home until you recognize our love,,,

and so both parents are like our children and their happiness are most important so they are willing to make amends

you and namjoon come back home but he was digging the cute apartment vibe so he asks if you two can move out together if he still decides to manage the business in the near future

and your parents are all !! about it at first but they agree because you two are most important

and you and namjoon are happily in love and you have a cute apartment where you two snuggle and kiss all the time mwah mwah

[bodyglitter]

Part One

August 15, 2012. I remember this day very well. Actually, the only thing I remembered. The day my world turned upside down. The day I lost my memory.

Do you get that feeling that everyone hates you? Well, I know everyone hates me, for one reason. I’m Niall Horan’s girlfriend. Every time I login to my Twitter account, my mentions are full of hate. Why don’t I just deactivate?

The digital clock in my bedroom ticked from 9:59 to 10:00. I was sprawled carelessly across my bed, scrolling through my Twitter, teardrops falling down my face and splattering onto my phone. Why do I even bother? I silently cried, trying not to wake Niall, as I hugged my giant Pink pillow to my chest. I heard my door creak. Niall was peering in through the crack. I quickly hid my phone under my pillow and pretend nothing had just happened. He opened the door all the way, and came in, not shutting the door.

“Babe, what’s going on?” Niall asked, concerned.

“Nothing, what makes you think there’s something wrong? There’s nothing,” I say, sniffling. I clearly wasn’t a great actress. I know he had seen everything that just happened.

“Yes there is. I just saw what happened, don’t deny it.” He said, wiping my tears from my face, sitting down on my bed.

“But they all hate me. I don’t deserve to be your girlfriend, I don’t deserve to live.” I whispered.

“Brooke. Look at me. You are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. I chose you out of a million fans. Are you really going to let a bunch of people sitting behind a computer screen get to you?” Niall said, as I looked into his ocean blue eyes.

“I guess not.” I said, wiping away the remainder of my tears. I could always count on Niall to make me feel better, no matter what mood I was in.

He leaned in for a kiss, the smell of peppermint lingering on his breath. We kissed passionately, staying in that position for a couple moments.

“Let’s go somewhere.” he said

“That’s not a good idea. There’s-” he held up his slender finger up to my pursed lips.

“Paparazzi won’t be out this late. Besides, who cares if they’re there? I love being seen in public with you” he said, knowing what I was going to say.

“Well okay.” I said, as a smile crept up on my face. “Let me get dressed.”

He stayed there looking at me.

“Um Niall? Can I change?” I ask.

“Why can’t you change in front of me?” he asks seductively.

“Get out Niall!” I tease, throwing my pillow at him

“Okay okay!” he said, smiling, as he walked out of my room, closing the door quietly. Thank God.

I opened up the Twitter app and saw a tweet from Niall in my mentions.

“@NiallOfficial: Guys leave @brookiecookiee alone. Hating her won’t make me like you. Love you babe xx” Awh, what a sweetie, I thought. I laid my phone on top of my pink dresser.

I surveyed my walk-in closet for something to wear.

“Ugh I have nothing to wear.” I shouted at my overflowing wardrobe. 

Finally, after five minutes, I put on my favorite plain white sleeveless blouse and bleached high waisted jeans shorts both from Urban Outfitters, my favorite place to shop besides Top Shop. I bent down to pick up my wedges, when I felt a pair of hands on my waist.

“Niall, not now! When we get home!” I said, winking and biting my lip.

“I love it when you play hard to get.” he said seductively.

I reached on the top shelf for my makeup bag, and Niall slapped my hand.

“Niall, what was that for?” I asked annoyed.

“You don’t need makeup. You’re prettier without it.” he said, kissing the tip of my nose.

I smiled. He clutched my hand, and we walked down the stairs together. Niall grabbed his Ramones jacket off the counter and grabbed his keys. He had just passed his driving test a few days ago.

“Ready babe?” he asked while slipping into his jacket.

“Yeah.” I mumbled, fumbling with the zipper on my leather jacket.

We both headed for the front door, Niall in front. He grabbed his set of keys as we approached the door. He slowly opened the door, scanning the area for any signs of paparazzi.

“Coast is clear.” he uttered to himself. “After you, my lady.” He said to me, making a gesture to the door.

“Thanks.” I said, smiling, walking to his shining black Range Rover in the black night.

We hopped in the car. He shut his door and jammed his key into the engine.

“What do you want to listen to?” he asked

I fished around for a CD in my messy purple Gucci purse. I was debating whether i should choose Up All Night or Take Me Home. I decided Up All Night, because of all the good memories. I was just a fan back then.

I slipped the CD in the CD player. Niall had no idea what CD I put in there. “Everything About You” starts blaring through the stereo.

Although Niall’s eyes were fixed on the road, I could see a smile plastered on his face. He starts singing along to the track.

“So… where are go-” Niall held up a finger to my lips, shushing me, one hand on the steering wheel. All while he was completely focused on the road. Wow, I thought. His driving teacher must’ve thought him well.

“Shhh…. It’s a surprise!” he said as we came to a stop sign. In my side mirror, black vans started to appear. 

“Niall!” I whined. “You said there wouldn’t be any paps!“ 

“Princess, I’m sorry, I had no clue.” He said with true sympathy. 

He started to speed up to get away from the paparazzi, the numbers on the speedometer going higher and higher by the second. 

“Niall watch out!” I shrieked, as we neared a large tree. He noticed at the last second, and the Range Rover hit the tree.

Everything went blank. 

Part Two

Niall’s P.O.V.

“Niall watch out!” Brooke screeched as my car ran straight into the tree ahead of us, paparazzi still behind us.

“FUCK OFF!” I yell at them, flicking them off, causing them to scurry. Ugh, I thought, what will the tabloids make out of this? Whatever, I thought, pushing away the thought from my dark clouded mind, trying to focus on what was important.

I looked back at the passenger seat. Brooke was unconscious, seatbelt nearly choking her. The car was smashed, the windshield, everything. It was a miracle we were both still alive. Well, I don’t know if Brooke is, I thought, tears streaming down my face, forming a puddle on my jeans. There was no way I could drive this wrecked car. I unbuckled both our seatbelts, and opened my door. It fell to the ground, shattering. I picked Brooke up bridal style and patted my jeans down to make an attempt to find my phone. Of course, when I actually needed it, I didn’t have it. Fuck it, I thought. I started running, Brooke in my arms. I had no idea where I was going, but she needed to get to a hospital immediately. As I ran, it started to drizzle, then it started pouring rain. Brooke’s white top was becoming see-through, so I took off my jacket and wrapped it around her. She looked like an angel, even while unconscious. (ya girl dyin and you care that her top becomin see through? im..)

When I finally reached the hospital, I dashed through the doors, almost slipping on wet tile. 

“WE NEED DOCTORS NOW, IT’S AN EMERGENCY!” I half yelled, half panted.

What seemed like a million doctors came out of the ICU and took Brooke out of my hands, rolling her onto a stretcher, wheeling her faster than the speed of lightning. 

After five hours, a nurse comes out, heading in my direction. 

“Mr. Hor-”

“IS SHE OKAY?! IS SHE ALIVE?!” I screamed, shaking the nurse. People were staring, so what? I care about Brooke, I really do. That’s what I was going to tell her in the car. Maybe right now, I won’t even be able to ever tell her. 

“Mr. Horan, please calm down. She’s sleeping on pills but I’m afraid she’s lost her memory." 

Part Three

Niall’s P.O.V.

I could feel something warm running down my cheek, a tear. I push hastily past the nurse, running to Brooke’s room. She wouldn’t remember me?! I thought, angry welling in my cheeks. She wouldn’t remember the memories we shared, the short films we made, the little kisses we shared. Wait, the short films we made. That gave me an idea.

I ran down the narrow hallway, faster and faster, praying I would find her room. I slowed my pace, becoming out of breath. I looked in every room, and finally stood before the one she was resting in. I sprinted into her room, and examined her for a few seconds. I broke down in tears. I couldn’t look at her. This is all my fault, why couldn’t I just listen to her?

I kneeled down beside her hospital bed and took her hand in mine, tightly, and looked at her angelic figure. Not even a scratch.

"Brooke,” I said, lips trembling. “I know you can’t hear me, but I love you.” I took out a locket from my pocket and placed it around her neck. I kissed her forehead, shortly before the same nurse came bursting into the room.

“Mr. Horan, please listens to me. It’s just a temporary thing, it’ll come back in a few hours,because the crash wasn’t that bad. You’re very lucky this time.” the stout nurse said.

“Oh thank you!” I sigh in relief and hugged her tightly.“She may be discharged right now if you like, I can see she’s about to wake up.” the nurse says, striding out if the door.

I heard mumbling, so I looked back. Brooke was getting out of the hospital bed, hospital gown and everything on. 

“Brooke!” I ran up to her and hugged her. “How are you feeling?”“Who’s that? Who are you?” she questioned.“Your name is Brooke. Brooke D'arcangelo. I’m Niall Horan, I’m in One Direction, the worlds most famous boyband, and I’m also your boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend, huh? Prove it.” she said.

“There’s no time for that here. I’ll prove it when we get home.” I said. She shrugged. 

I helped her out of her hospital gown, and into her normal clothes.

We walked outside in the damp, humid weather. I used the hospital payphone to call a taxi. Within a few moments the taxi arrived. 

I helped her get into the taxi, climbing in after her, buckling my seatbelt. I realized I was sitting on a newspaper, so I picked it up and started reading. A certain words and a picture caught my eye.

“Niall Horan & Girlfriend Car Fiasco” It was a whole article about the crash, with the picture of the horribly damaged car, and of course, the picture of me flicking off the paparazzi. Great, I thought. Just what I needed to lift the spirit.

We arrived home, and I tipped the taxi driver, helping Brooke, cautiously, out of the car. We walked hand-in-hand up to the porch. I grabbed my set of keys out of my jeans pocket and unlocked the front door. 

I watched her walk into the house, looking puzzled.

“This is a beautiful house.” She breathed in wonder.

“Because you live here.” I say, with a smile on my face. I run upstairs to retrieve the box of home videos we made together. Brooke had always wanted to be a filmmaker. Hopefully this will jog back her memory, I thought.

I ran downstairs with the heavy box. I walk into the screening room and set the box full to the brim of DVDs in front of the big screen. I call for Brooke. She rushes in.

“Listen Brooke, I don’t know if you know this, but you lost your memory, and I’m going to try to make an attempt to get your memory back with these home videos.” She nods and sits down. I slip one of the movies in and sit next to her.

A video appeared on the screen of us baking chocolate chip cookies together for the boys. I’d never forget this memory.

Brooke was mixing the ingredients together, as I licked the leftover cookie dough from the package. 

“Are you going to help?” Brooke asks.

“Um… well you see-" 

"Fine, have it your way. You won’t be able to eat any of the cookies then.” Brooke teases.

“Okay, two can play at this game.” I say mischievously.

“Let’s go then.” Brooke says, ‘accidentally’ flicking a spoonful of dough at me.

“Oh, you like to play, don’t you?” I say, grabbing a handful of cookie dough from the bowl and throwing it at her. By the end of the video, we both looked like abdominal snowmen, but most of our fast wasn’t plastered. (’abdominal’…snowmen..)

“Maybe we should just buy cookies from the store?” she asks. I nod.

“You’ve got something on your nose.” I say, kissing the tip of it.

“You’ve got something on your lips.” she says, kissing me on the lips, even though there was no dough on my lips.

“I wonder how I’m going to get this dough of off me….” she says.

“Why can’t I just lick you clean?” I ask. She giggles.

We both look at each other, for what seemed like a thousand years, then to the camera. I leaned in for a kiss, and Brooke covers the camera with her hand.

I get up and slip in another DVD. I remember this one very well. I secretly videotaped the time me and Brooke were dancing before the charity event me, the boys, and their girlfriends were attending. I had to admit, we were both shit dancers. But that didn’t stop me. This video was probably the cutest one. 

“Niall, no! Right foot, then left foot, follow my lead.” she said, as I accidentally stepped on her shoes. The video went on for about five more minutes.

The whole day we watched the box of home videos. It was no use. I walked up to my bedroom. I sat on my bed, getting lost in my thoughts, until someone opened the door and then slammed it shut. It was just Brooke. She was walking towards me, her face twisted with anger. 

“Woah, Brooke. What’s wrong?” I asked, concerned.

“I got my memory back. I’m beyond furious. You see what happens when you don’t listen to me? Look at the shit you got us into. Look at what you caused.” she yells.

“What the fuck? Are you blaming me for this?” I yell back, standing up, clenching my fists.

“No, I promise there won’t be any paparazzi, my ass. Yes, I’m blaming you, this is all your fault!” she yells. This is the first time I’ve ever seen her like this.

“You were the one that agreed!” I screamed.

“I didn’t want to, but you FORCED me!” she yelled, eyes blazed with fury.

“You know what, fine. If all you want to do is talk shit, pack your bags and get the fuck out of my house. We’re done. It’s done.”

[strawberry-lemonade]

dont read this im just seeing if it works, its unedited and currently shit

"Excuse me, but I happen to think Mávri gáta is hilarious. Those puns are spot on."

Aria opened her mouth and paused, before closing it again.

"Zào Fortuna has got spots right?."

"Wait were you trying to aim a pun at her, but then forgot if she had spots?

"Uh, maybe..."

"Dude, you're an idiot in every sense of the word."

Aria hung her head.

"...I know."

"That's nice."

Aria threw a pillow at her before exploding in a fit of giggles.

"Mooncaaaake! You're supposed to give me a hug and say sorry!"

Marinette sighed and blew her nails before turning to look at Aria.

"We both know how that goes down."

Aria sighed and stood up.

"Have you heard from Adrien in the past few days?"

"You know what? I haven't."

"Last time I talked to him, he told me he got a boyfriend."

"He did? Why didn't I know about that?"

"Babe, weren't you on the other line?"

"Uh... I think I fell asleep."

"Wow. You really need to stop staying up all night on commissions."

"Speaking of, any news about that stuff?"

"Well, from what I've heard, my little sister from another mister is traveling to Gotham because her fashion business has taken off. 'The mysterious designer MDC has bypassed Gabriel Agreste in the polls!' 

"Well, what you heard is true-'

"I also heard that you get to stay in Wayne Manor and bring a friend. Maybe Sabine?"

"What? And risk her finding out that I parade around the city in spots every night? No thanks."

"Hm. Chloe?"

"The invitation would be wasted. She's already going to Gotham with her mom."

"What about Alya?"

"Since 2 heroes will be out of commission, Rena is going to be needed here."

"I don't know."

Aria collapsed on the bed with a groan before sitting up and smirking.

"Lila."

"Okay. Your guessing privileges have been revoked."

"Noooooo! How else will I find out who you're going to take?!"

"By asking. Like a normal person."

"How dare you assume that I'm normal."

"Now I'm beginning to wonder if I should actually tell you."

"Okay, okay! I'll shut up! Just please tell me who, so I don't have to stay up till 3, guessing."

"I wanted to ask you."

"Uh, I will give you an entire list of reasons why I shouldn't come. Plus, I don't really think they'd let me bring the cat."

"I'm asking right now, and if they say no, then I'll politely decline the invitation."

"I don't want you to miss ou-"

"They replied!"

"What? Let me see!"

Aria scrambled off the chaise and scurried over to Marinette, tripping in the process. 

"Wait! Let me get up!"

Aria jumped up and stumbled into the desk.

Marinette clicked the email and recited it aloud.

"Dear MDC, your friend's cat will be allowed. If you need to arrange anything to bring your cat on the plane, please do not hesitate to ask.

 Aria squealed and hugged Marinette.

"Ok. If we can start packing now, I'll come with you." 

"Why do we have to pack now? The trip isn't until Saturday and it's only Wednesday! Can't we just enjoy the first sleepover we've had in a month?"

"Babe, please? I hate procrastinating."

"What are you talking about? You love procrastinating!"

"I don't love it, It just happens to be my default."

"Same difference!"

"Um, no, not the same difference."

"Nyah."

-------

"Dante. I am begging you. Don't turn off the computer yet."

"Aria. it's almost 1 A.M and we both have class tomorrow."

"I knoooow! But I put my fucking heart into this, and if you turn it off right now, it will delete and I have no way of saving it."

"Aria. Go to bed now."

"Nooooo! I have to finish it!"

"Fine. But as soon as the clock gets to 1. I'm turning everything off. Just because you're my favorite doesn't mean I'll let you get away with anything."

"Boi! I let you get away with so many illegal things! Can I not just stay up for another hour to finish a damn design?!"

"Aria?"

"Hi, Minette."

"Are you gonna stay up again while binge-ing on coffee?"

"Maybe..."

"Marinette. Please tell my idiot sister that she needs sleep too."

"Aria-"

"Noooo! My favorites are teaming up to defeat me!"

"Aria. Go. To. Bed."

"No!"

Aria jumped up, seized the computer, shot into the bathroom.

"Ha! Now you can't stop me from finishing this!"

"Okay. I give up. Marinette, she's yours now."

Dante slowly backed out of the kitchen with his arms raised.

"Aria. Come out. Please. It's not a sleepover if it's only one person. Plus I need someone to binge-watch movies with!"

"...What kind of movies?"

"Um, MIB International, Charlie's Angels, Hanna, Atomic Blonde, La Femme Nikita-"

"I'm in. Just give me a second."

The sound of shuffling around could be heard in the unusually silent house. The bathroom door opened to show a dark room a few seconds later, and Aria emerged holding a closed laptop.

"I thought it wasn't going to save?"

"Yeah uh, I lied. I just wanted to keep working."

"Geez. I bet you'll be the only person in Gotham like this."

"Well, I do try to be unique!"

"Okay, we need to finish packing."

"But what about the movies?!"

"We'll watch them while we pack."

"Yay!"

-------

Five movies and two panic attacks later:

"Mooncake! Do you know where my-"

"Beanie? Downstairs in the tardis."

"Oh my gosh, thank you! I need to take a shower, are you almost finished packing?"

"Yeah, two more outfits and I'll be done."

"Kay. My phone is charging next to the window, the password is 314159, the flashy purple app turns on the TV."

With that, Aria walked out of the room and shut the door. Not even 2 minutes later, the sound of running water could be heard, along with the song 'Consideration' was blasting through the house. Marinette shook her head and laughed.

"Geez Ember. Too loud."

Marinette folded the last outfit and placed it in her suitcase. Walking over to the window, she was attacked by Kiro.

“Ack! Get off!”

Marinette started to try and shake the cat off and Kiro released her leg. She jumped onto the bed and yanked her legs up to avoid any further scratches. The door slammed open to reveal a soaking wet Aria in a towel. She still had soap bubbles in her hair and it had stuck to her face while she was running.

“I heard a screech! Is everything okay?”

Marinette stared for a second longer before laughing so hard she fell off the bed.

“OH MY GOSH! Did you just- holy crap! The cat just jumped on me!”

“...are you freaking kidding me? I literally jumped out of the shower to see what in the world was going on. I thought you were being abducted.”

“I’m so sorry! I just-” Marinette collapsed into another fit of giggles.

“Okay, since you’re obviously fine, I’m gonna go finish my shower. Next time, don’t screech unless it’s an emergency. Now my clothes are wet because of my idiocy. Goodbye, Little Missy Macaron.”

Aria walked out of the room, leaving Marinette to try and clean up the water mess. She just threw a towel over the puddle.

Aria walked into the bathroom while shaking her head slowly. She picked up her phone and pressed shuffle on her playlist. Once again, a song started blasting through the house.

————

Marinette grabbed Aria’s phone and unlocked it. She pressed the purple icon that Aria had told her about and clicked the red power button at the top. Nothing happened.

Right. The TV is downstairs.

Marinette sighed and checked under the bed before leaving the safety of the mattress. She picked up her two suitcases and took them downstairs. 5 minutes later, the sound of gunshots and suspenseful music coming from the living room rivaled the pop music coming from the upstairs bathroom.

—————-

Dante, Evita, and Armando came home to three girls shouting and running around, with another standing off to the side and filming. Chloe and Alya had come over to help after Aria had gotten out of the shower. Though it quickly turned into Chloe chasing Aria around and trying to get her to put on some clothes that weren’t covered in paint, and Alya filming Marinette freaking out about losing her deodorant.

“Dante! I stole your Pikachu boxers because they were in my drawers!” Aria ran past him, a disgruntled Chloe in hot pursuit.

“Why do I care?”

“Just thought you should know in case you start looking for them while I’m gone!”

“Speaking of being gone, shouldn’t you guys get going? Your flight leaves in 4 hours.”

“Crap! Evita! Do you have work soon? Can you drive us to the airport?”

“Can’t you guys just bike?”

Aria stopped and stared at Evita incredulously. Chloe didn't slow down quick enough and slammed both girls into the ground.

“Okay, are you stupid? Because we have like, 4 bags each, and the airport is like 45 miles away. ”

“Okay. I’ll take you, but I do have to work soon so we have to go now.”

“Okay. Akiv! Stop! Do you have your bags?”

“Yes, Ember.”

“Mousinette! Are you ready?”

“I NEED DEODORANT.”

“We can get some at the airport.”

“GAH! Okay, fine. Let’s go.”

The three girls ran to give Alya a hug before they left.

“Bye Als! Love you!”

“Adios, Vixen! Te Quiero!”

“Salut Alya!”

——————-

ONE EXCRUCIATINGLY LONG CAR RIDE LATER:,

Marinette, Aria, and Chloe stepped out of the Envoy and took their bags out of the trunk.

“Zai Jian, Evita! Te Quiero mucho!”

“Adios Mija! Je t’aime!”

Aria gave Evita a hug before slinging her book bag and purse over her shoulder and pulling her suitcase over to the entrance. The girls watched the car drive off before turning and walking into the airport.

“Ay Dios Mio…”

“What?”

“Look at the lines!” Aria gestured over to about fifty people standing in front of a counter.

“Oh, mon Dieu.” 

“Um, no. Look at your tickets. We have first-class. Which is the line over there.” Choe pointed over to a short line with only a few people.

“Oh, thank goodness.” Marinette sighed as she scanned over her plane ticket.

“Wait, really?” Aria scrambled for the small slip of paper in her wallet, accidentally dropping it.

A young male, probably around 15, picked it up. He smiled and held it out to her.

“Here you go, m’lady”

“Thanks, bro,” Aria grunted.

The boy froze for only a second, but it was long enough for her to pluck the leather contraption out of his hand and walk away with the other girls. When they were out of earshot, they all burst out laughing.

“Oh my gosh! Did you see his face when you called him ‘bro’?!”

“That was hilarious,” Aria wiped tears from her eyes.

“Welp, now we know how she keeps guys away.” 

“Who knew it was so simple?”

“No. It’s simple for me. I am the Goddess of repellent. You two are mere mortals.”

“She’s right! Oh, Great One! We are unworthy of your presence, but we beg to learn your ways!” Marinette got down on one knee, with one hand over her heart and the other being held out to Aria.

“Oh, get up Mooncake. They’re looking at us crazy again.” Chloe pulled the smaller girl onto her feet and ruffled her hair.

Marinette giggled, then bowed and took Aria’s hand. 

“I am forever indebted to you for teaching me.” She kissed the brunette’s hand before standing up straight again.

“Mooncake, I love you, but that was the weirdest thing you’ve ever done.”

“Thanks, Abelle.”

“No problem babe.”

Aria rolled her eyes. 

“Next!”

The girls looked up to see it was their turn in line.

“Please place your bags in the designated area.” The lady behind the desk gestured to a wire container.

Marinette looked to the side and placed her suitcase into the basket. The other girls quickly followed suit.

“Names?”

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng.”

“Aria Couture.”

“Chloe Bourgeois.”

The lady typed their names into the computer before waving them away. Marinette saw the dull look in her eyes and pulled out 3 macarons before whispering something and smiling.

“Excuse me, Madame? Here are a few macarons. I hope you have a nice day!” 

Marinette picked up her bags and walked away with her friends. She didn’t miss the small smile that appeared on the woman’s face.

“So, what’d you do to the cookies?”

“Let’s just say the rest of her week will be much better.”

“Minette, I have absolutely no idea what you're implying, and at this point, I'm too scared to ask.”

————

“This is why I hate flying. I’m already exhausted and we haven’t even been at the airport for 2 hours.” Marinette groaned.

“We’re done with all the security stuff, and our suitcases are already boarding the plane, which basically means we can currently do whatever we want. And don’t you still need deodorant?”

“Ugh. You’re right. Let’s go.”

Aria grinned and walked towards a sandwich restaurant.

“Aria, where are you going? The toiletries place is over there.” Marinette pointed to a little kiosk next to the bathrooms.

“Come on. You didn’t really think we would get deodorant before we got food, did you?”

“...I am kind of hungry…”

“Let’s go then!”

Aria grabbed Marinette’s right hand and Chloe’s left hand and yanked them over to the restaurant.

——————

“Flight Number 763, First class, Now boarding.”

Aria jolted awake at the sound of the announcement. She looked over at Chloe and Marinette sleeping peacefully and contemplated waking them up. She'd rather not lose an eye, or two.

Chloe woke up as the brunette picked up a small pink bookbag.

“Good morning Chlo,” Aria yawned.

“...hi Ari.”

Grabbing all of their backpacks, she took the tickets and passports out and walked over to the admittance booth.

“Tickets please."

“Here,” Aria handed him all three tickets and passports.

 Aria looked up at the man in the booth.

“Can we go in or do you need sleeping beauty over here to confirm something,” Aria pointed at Marinette.

“Um. You can go in…”

“Thanks, have a nice day!”

The girls walked to the plane and found their seats quickly. Chloe helped Aria set Marinette down and put the carry-on bags in the capsules above them. Both girls fell back asleep about 10 minutes after they buckled up.

——————

GOTHAM:

[michaelina520imvu-blog]

Imvu didn't receive credits when signing up for vip check out today

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[hannahcallaghanrp]

Stinto Chat--Hannah & Theo

Summary: Hannah receives an unexpected email and suspects Theo is somehow behind it. @theorcc

Theo: Theo had gone to LA to get some business done. He had saw how Hannah reacted to not get accepted to a college and he never wanted her to get that upset anymore. He went there and “somehow” fucked the person that reviews the applications. She was hot and still kind of young so he had no problem with it. He came back and went straight to the kitchen, putting his phone and wallet on the counter. Hannah: "Hey,“ Hannah started towards Theo when she spotted him in the kitchen. "You’re back. When’d you get back?” She asked him. “And what the hell were you doing there anyway?” Theo: Theo smiled and waved. “I just got back. I just went to LA again to finish something up.” He nodded Hannah: "Finish something up?“ Hannah raised a brow at him. "That doesn’t sound sketchy or anything,” she laughed. “What were you doing?” Theo: "yeah.“ He chuckled as he put an arm around her. "You feeling better? I just had to finish up the film. Like the credits and shit.” Hannah: Hannah shrugged. “I mean, no. Still rejected, Ryan’s still lurking, Val and Lo still suck so…nope,” she smiled a bit at him. “Show it to me. Don’t I get to be the first to see it? What’s this film anyway? A porno?” Theo: Theo smiled and let her go. “Pizza?” He asked before glancing at her. “Check your email, maybe they sent you a wrong one.” Theo tried to say it smoothly. “Shhh its won’t be on pornhub either. Im classier than that…just kidding i’d totally be on pornhub.” Hannah: "Always pizza,“ she told him, giving him a look. "Theo, it’s their job to do that shit. They do it like…all the time. They didn’t send the wrong one. I promise you. It’s fine, alright? I didn’t get in. Life goes on,” she shrugged. “Classier than PornHub? It doesn’t get classier than PornHub, Theo.” Theo: Theo nodded and put the pizza in the microwave oven then turning to her, leaning back against the counter. “Just check cmon.” he encouraged. “Im a fancy pornstar.” Hannah: "I’m not checking, Theo. There’s no point. Even if it was a mistake, they would’ve emailed me quickly after they rejected me, not like, two months after,“ she shook her head. "I heard a lot of straight guys do gay porn. That’s where all the money is.” Theo: "For me please.“ He pouted. "Cmon sometimes they fuck up. Damn it how’d you know? Was I a bottom or a top?” Hannah: "Alright. And when I don’t have anything in my inbox, you’re going to give me the whole fucking pizza because I’m not going to share,“ she rolled her eyes, pulling out her phone. "I don’t know. I don’t even know your normal sex habits. Forget gay sex.” Theo: "Deal and if there is a email, you have to feed me the pizza.“ He teased. "We’ve barely even kissed. So you don’t know all my sex shit.” Hannah: "Theo, if there’s an email, I’ll suck your dick,“ she shook her head at him, knowing there was no chance. "I kissed you once that was enough,” Hannah teased, stopping when she opened her email. “Wait…” She opened the email, reading it briefly before staring at Theo. “How did you…” Theo: "What you got an email?!“ He cheered, jumping up and down. ” Hannah: Hannah watched his reaction carefully. “How did you know I was going to get this email, Theodore?” Theo: "Faith?“ He shrugged. "I always believed in you.” Hannah: "Bull-fucking-shit,“ Hannah narrowed her eyes at him. "What were you doing in LA, Theo?” Theo: "I told you. I went to go finish up my film credits.“ he told her as he put the pizza on the plate.. Hannah: She crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Tell me again, what exactly did you do? Show me the film that you worked on.” Theo: Theo grabbed his computer and showed her the shortfilm he shot last week over break. “I shot this film with my friends. I just finished up the last things.” Hannah: Glaring at him, Hannah thought for a moment before grabbing his wallet and peaking inside. “AHA!” She grinned, holding it open to him. “Your spare condom is missing. The flavored one. So tell me again what you did?” Theo: "I had a good fuck, so what Hannah.“ He shook his head as he grabbed his wallet from her. Hannah: "A good fuck with who?” She looked at him. “Don’t try to lie to me. I know when you’re lying.” Theo: "This girl named Amy.“ he nodded. "Sure. I didn’t do anything Hannah.” Hannah: "You went to the school,“ she insisted. "You went to them about rejecting me.” Theo: "No I didn’t, I went to finish up my film.“ He told her, glancing at his phone when it lit up Hannah: "And when you went to finish up your film, you swung by the school.” Seeing his phone light up, she looked down at it. “Who’s that?” Theo: "No why would I do that? I don’t even know what school you applied to.“ Theo looked at his phone, reaching for it. "I think its from Justin, the guy that helped me with the film.” Hannah: Hannah quickly grabbed his phone from him. “Tell me the truth. Now.” She demanded. Theo: "I am telling you the truth. Why would I lie to you?“ Hannah: "I just agreed to trusting you again and you’re going to lie? Is this a good life decision, Theo?” Theo: "I didn’t lie okay.“ He shook his head as he grabbed his phone, shoving it in his pocket Hannah: "You’re a fucking liar, Theodore,” she rolled her eyes at him with a sigh. “But,” Hannah bit her lip, wrapping her arms around him tightly. “Thank you.” Theo: Theo smiled. “Its fine, she was pretty hot anyway.” He shrugged. “Happy?” Hannah: "No, not happy. I knew you fucking lied,“ she punched him in the arm. Theo: "Ow.” He pouted as he rubbed his arm. “So wheres my blowjob?” Hannah: "I reckon you already got one, didn’t you?“ She cocked her head to the side. "You don’t get one you lied to me.” Theo: Theo smiled, looking down at her. “You being happy, already got me a boner. So no blowjob needed.” He chuckled. Hannah: "Everything gives you a boner, Theo,“ she shook her head at him. "I can’t believe you fucking did that.” Theo: "Damn it youre right.“ He shook his head, snapping his finger. "What why? I hate seeing you like that. I would have fucked a dude if that was the one reviewing your app.” Hannah: "Okay, well, please don’t continue to have sex with people to get things for me. It’s eerily close to prostitution,“ she laughed. "Besides, having sex in return for shit is what got me into this mess.” Theo: "Its not, I didn’t even know… I went to her office and just fucked her.“ he said as he held the pizza up to her mouth. "What how?” Hannah: "Fine. If you enjoyed it, then I guess that’s all that matters, right?“ She joked. "Because I got rejected because of fucking an instructor for good grades.” Theo: "Thanks for that chocolate condom though.“ He smiled. "Hey it was a good fuck though right.” Hannah: "I’m just glad you’re using protection,“ she told him. "Eh, until he got fired and his wife found out but, he was good looking. No complaints. Plus, he gave me the A.” Theo: "Like how good looking? Do I have competition?“ He teased Hannah: "Competition for what?” She raised a brow at him. “You’re the one who’s been fucking everyone they bump into,” Hannah teased. Theo: Theo raised his brow and walked up to Hannah, bumping her gently. “Lets get it on babe.” he cheered and lifted her up onto the counter. Hannah: Hannah gave him a look. “I set myself up for this, didn’t I?” She groaned when he lifted her off of the ground and onto the counter. “I’m not fucking you.” Hannah pushed him a bit. Theo: "I was kidding.“ he nodded as he picked up the plated and took a bite of the pizza. "Plus I only fucked like one girl here. Calm yourself.” Hannah: "Yeah, Kelly,“ Hannah nodded, hopping off of the counter. "She’s got a thing for my sloppy seconds, I guess.” She grabbed a piece of pizza. Theo: "Sloppy seconds? We didn’t even do anything.“ he furrowed a brow. Hannah: "You were still my boyfriend. For like, a week,” she shrugged. Theo: "No. We should just forget that ever happened.“ He shook his head as he lifted himself up onto the counter. Hannah: "Why?” She took a seat, eating her pizza. Theo: "Id rather just not remember it. “ Hannah: She paused, watching him for a moment. "Right,” Hannah nodded, finishing her pizza slice. “I’ll catch you later then. Thanks.”

[rennyji]

June 9th evening afternoon tweets

U know looking back, at the state party school that I transferred to, in 2010, what they taught was done poorly & the subjects were out of date. I’m sure they’ll beg to differ. While they and their involvement of a “situation” strives to keep me writing in the midst of studying-

- other schools were teaching agile software practices, cloud computing, data warehousing, or even with a simple Java programming class: how to run JUnit test cases.-

- for months I tried contacting a professor for an old assignment and notes related to handling Java programming with sql database coding, never gives me what I want. Basically always says he’s too busy-

- in the party school, while their sister state university of Binghamton was teaching Java with Eclipse, enterprise style repositories and JUnit test cases, party school was using a baby program called Dr. Java.-

- my transcript is proof of the courses you teach. The duration of the situation and the kids is proof of a distraction in my priorities. My 4.0 high school GPA is testament to my academic caliber. Me, I like using the luxury of time to learn a course until it’s mastered.-

- students would say professor ravis course was 1 of the important courses. Didn’t do so well the 1st time amidst obstacles. Wanted 2 take theCourseAgain.  Ur partySchool’s conflictResolution VP insisted I take remaining courses @ a communityCollege so that Im out of their hair.-

-can you imagine this dip sh*ts advice? From a 4.0 gpa at Iona with scholarships and free laptops to a community college. The b*stars went out of his way to convince my parents I’m crazy after he had the faculty monitor me on the harassment on the day of my life 2012 finals.-

The amountOfDamage that partySchool, those spitefulKids did, along w/the rest ofThe “situation.”U should see some of theseFacesIm thinking why the f*k are U in myLife, while these randomly angry agenda fueled gamePlayers areIrritated theyre not wanted playing god w/some1’s life.-

- to some of the randomly angry agenda fueled game players, you wanna say have some dignity and move on.

The orchestrators are trying to figure me out. Put corny high school paths of doing what you love my way and things will follow. How old am I? How do you explain ur perverted presence in my life? Something can be learned from the Indian concept of arranged marriages-

- back in India, families strive to get their kids to perfection. Find a family, a women, that’s exceptional and meets standards. We wish a similar exceptionalism for careers, futures, education, etc. I come from this culture. In my family, father sought out opportunities in the-

- alien country of America and took care of his family and his extended family back home. Uncle went off to a different part of India and worked as the closest contact to Indian Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi with his Italian wife Sonia. My father, my uncle, did these things thru-

- hard work without distractions and American party schools constantly getting in the way. It is beyond me, why my parents aren’t defending their culture and allowing these racist Americans to walk all over us, especially me.-

- the thing that’s absolutely beyond me is, I don’t do drugs, I don’t drink, just minding my business, I’ve done nothing to no one, if there was anything to clear up-done it 100 times over. Why’s are these freaks pursuing me I.e. the orchestrators. For 8 years, I’ve put aside my-

-likes, habits, grasping with the American dictators cruelty. Now after all that, they want to prostitute my life for entertainment while not disclosing what they do. American or not, what human being stands by while the orchestrators electrocute someone? -

- what do the orchestrators tell their following? Hey everyone, on behalf of the party school, we want are Renny to party like it’s 1999…

Moving to normal tweets again…

Americans are worse than the Germans were with the Jews In Nazi Germany…everything they do is superficial and not from the heart…

#Loki airs today on Disney Plus…

You’d be surprised how many things from ages ago, or even eight years ago, can come in handy, in the present day, today…

Saw The Wedding Ringer the other day…great movie…seeking a female best friend though, not an audience…

You gotta check out the @TouchofModern app from the App Store or Google Play Store. They have the coolest things for sale…

so a thought...-

-in a very convincing manner, the orchestrators make it clear to me that they're going to, subtly put, "do away" with me, while in this, or at the end of this. Something this big, after 11+years, even if it were just legally, the "situation" does not have a happy ending-

-i don't think my own parents go through my written material...for one thing, i think there's something paraphrasing what i write to them. regarding the rest of America, I think a filtered version is being delivered to you of what happens to me or what I write. -

- for some of you, you're in a fun game. keep track of where he goes, send it to the medium/platform - i guess?! There's the children like sounds, but at least so that group will help me, there is another group doing something else. -

- both of which are illegal. The children like sounds are arrogant. They're convinced its just them. When this first started, I called the police several times about this whole "situation", from start to finish, in its peculiarity. They lied to me and didn't help me. -

- When I went to the FBI, they gave me something to perpetually write on, for the hackers. The party school wanted to get rid of me and had their Conflict Resolution help the kids who started this instead of me. -

- The secondary group of orchestrators - for distraction purposes - and the primary group of orchestrators (to make their cause relevant with past trivial issues) want me to perpetually talk about the party school, the girl, and the random kids from the beginning of all this.-

- thats done, i moved on, i left the country cuz I didn't want to be bothered. But the orchestrators - their whole band - followed me there. -

- You as a people, because instructed or otherwise, talk about the past garbage that happened at the party school, like its the most-matter-of-fact-thing. But there is something else happening: abuse. -

-In myLife, in these 11+years, firefighters willExtend a hand, but also hide "theSituation." The police exert authority&play in2 the situation. The FBI enables theSituation. The partySchool wants 2 save its ownSkin. In an American conspiracy against 1 person, I left out 1 group.-

- In just going through past job application emails, I see the part where they ask you, "if you're a veteran?" They ask did you serve your country. Some people join the military for better opportunities after their service, and some are in it for the service. But when a normal-

- person thinks of a soldier, they think of someq going off 2 the Middle East &nabbing some bad guys. But we say "Thank U for ur service." Well, guys, myAmerican citizenship is being violated. There is a massiveConspiracy against 1 American. Illegal all around with illegal tech.-

- everyone is taking facts for granted and taking the extra measure of not talking to the person involved, for 11+ years. Being an American requires the extra step of compassion and a heart in your actions. While I understand you blow things up, I am in need of your compassion.-

- I am in need of  an exemplary American, such as a soldier, "fighting for this country" (as they say), to defend my rights against a government that allows this to happen. It's been 11+ years. Why are you taking this for granted and not investigating?-

-If you were to help me, unlike the others who say through obligation, duty, what they were instructed, or mechanically: "Thank you for your service." , I would say it from the bottom of my heart. -

-Why won't even you not look into what's going and help me? Is it because of my Indian skin and do I remind you of the Middle Eastern Muslims that you're stereotyped to being against? Is it because I'm not a blonde white girl that you allow this to happen to me?-

- To fight for my citizenship's entitlement, you don't need to go to another country. Stop this illegal thing and the façade of the orchestrators from happening. -

-If its because you see me as an enemy, then do me the kindness of ending me like you do with the rest, rather than having these disgusting pigs of orchestrators keep their word of "doing away with me."

Verilux Sun Lamps - might give you an energy boost...

I think there are aromatherapy oils that you can apply on the skin for their health benefits...who knew...

June 9th morning tweets, right side up, in tumblr blog link below:

https://rennyji.tumblr.com/post/653508979370180608/june-9th-early-morning-tweets