#girl what is their to misunderstand lmao the ex is an ex

[vigilantewives]

him having the surgeon's card for half a year means, in the event that jiwon somehow developed stomach cancer again, she can get it treated right away. before it progressed further.

THIS MAN

[kitten4sannie]

pairing: ex! san x fem! reader feat. wingman seonghwa and instigator mingi

genres: omg actual plot ??, exes to lovers, romance, angst with a happy ending, fluff, an attempt at humor, smut finale

summary: during a winter getaway with your friends, you end up having to come face to face with Choi San, the man who broke your heart in two just last christmas.

w.c: 8.2k

tags: features the unholy trinity: misunderstandings/miscommunication/messiness, drama (i bring drama-ma-ma-ma~), alcohol use, mutual jealousy, mutual pining, lots of banter, third parties, poor sannie and reader are just two big dummies with even bigger hearts </3,, like 20 flashbacks (okay it’s like 2 but i like being dramatic sue me), too many winter analogies, insecurities, confessions, l bombs, tears, all that jazz

warnings: soft dom! san (literally the softest dom to ever exist IM SICK), subby! reader, pussydrunk san and cockdrunk reader (like these mfs are so desperate for each other it’s actually disgusting), dirty talk, pet names, praise, possessiveness, kissing, a lot of spit (leave me alone!!!), tit play, grinding, body worship, oral (receiving), passionate condomless lovemaking by the fire baybeeeee, breeding kink, bulge kink, creampies

a/n: so i listen to last christmas religiously every year and while i was jamming my hamster brain was like “WRITE WRITE WRITE” so i diddd and yeahh this happened??? lmao but fr this was the most fun i’ve ever had writing since feb filth fest…. like wtf. i gotta write plot forward fics more often this shit’s like a drug man. anyways i hope you enjoy my dear lovelies <33

*shoutout to my sweetheart bunbun @cottoncandy-girl for beta reading and hyping this fic up during the writing process. i would’ve second guessed myself twice as much if not for you. you’re a lifesaver!! mwah mwah ~~

song rec for the general vibe: last christmas by wham obv <3, fool by frankie cosmos, snowfall (slowed and reverb) by oneheart, know me by gemini, easily by bruno major, flowers and chocolate by eyedress

angst: pleaser by the wallows, do me right by gemini, homesick by wave to earth, cherie by hojean

smut: mice city by hotel ugly, between your thighs by jimmy brown, lock me in by hojean, touch by keshi, your love by brb

Masterlist

“Hey, Y/N,” your best friend began, walking around the side of your beat-up car to the trunk where you were busy shoving various suitcases and bags into the small space and trying to make them fit. “So, don’t get mad, but–”

With a case of wine bottles in hand, you slowly set it down on the lip of the trunk, side-eyeing your friend with the intensity of a thousand suns. It was so powerful, it’d probably melt the snow that had been falling around your feet for the past thirty minutes. “Why would I be mad? What’s going on?”

“Just breathe for me, okay?” she sighed, bringing a hand up to play with a few strands of her hair. “So, you know how Seonghwa’s coming up to the cabin with us?”

“Um, yeah…? I don’t care about you bringing your boyfriend with us, you know. Just let me know if you’re gonna fuck so I can put my headphones on,” you replied, lifting the case up and pushing it inside the empty space of the trunk, satisfied that your long game of tetris was finally complete.

She quickly waved her hands, shaking her head. “No, that’s not…” she started, taking in a deep inhale, before letting it out, a wave of condensation hitting the cold air between the two of you. “He invited…someone. Someone you know.”

You bent down into the trunk to move a few items around, making sure they wouldn’t collapse on each other. “Okay? I only know you and a few other people, bestie. Who could it possibly be–”

“It’s San,” she finally blurted out, her face scrunching up in anticipation of your reaction.

Once your ex was spoken into existence again, a flood of memories from the previous year bombarded your defenseless brain and heart, causing you to stand up so quickly, you hit your head on the edge of the trunk lid.

“Oh my god, Y/N, are you okay?” your friend gasped, already at your side, helping you stand up straight and placing her hand on the one you had held against the back of your head.

“Oh, yeah, I’m good. I think that just knocked all the bad memories out of my brain. Ready to head out?” you chimed, giving her a thumbs up with your keys in hand, stumbling a bit in place, your vision fading out slightly.

Sighing, your friend reached for the keys. “Yeah, I’m driving.”

❆ ❆ ❆

Your friend pulled her keys out of the ignition once she parked in a free space near the cabin you’d both be staying at, turning her head to observe the way you were playing with the drawstrings of your joggers with a pout on your sullen face. “Y/N, are you sure you’re okay? You know, we’re visiting everyone else later, so you can always stay at their cabin, if you’d like. It’s much bigger and has wifi, and definitely won’t have S–”

“I’m not a little bitch,” you suddenly whined, your eyebrows furrowed, your pout growing. “I can handle being in the same cabin with my dumbass ex, okay? I don’t even care that he’s here, actually.”

She nodded her head knowingly, giving you a gentle smile. “Just let me know if you’re uncomfortable, please. And if he starts up with one of his…unique personalities, tell me or Seonghwa, alright? He knows how to handle him.”

“I can handle him myself. There’s plenty of snow for me to toss him into, or some flames if our cabin has a fireplace,” you muttered, too stubborn to admit that your heart would most likely explode as soon as you had the displeasure of witnessing his disgustingly handsome face and charming dimpled smile.

Your friend shook her head slightly, unable to keep from smiling in your direction. “There is a fireplace, yeah.”

You sighed contentedly, admiring the expanse of dense snow, the sundry of oversized pine trees, the far away mountains covered in white, and the cluster of cozy-looking cabins beyond the frosted windshield. “Finally, some good news.”

Once you both got to the front steps of the cabin you’d be staying at, your arms full of the items that you could bring from the car, the front door swung open, almost giving you a heart attack on the spot.

“Baby, you’re here!” Seonghwa gasped, pulling your friend into his arms when she set her stuff down on the porch and spinning her around in a small circle, his eyes twinkling with pure adoration.

Once Seonghwa acknowledged your presence with a warm greeting, you stood off to the side while your friend and Seonghwa kissed and giggled with each other, your arms beginning to feel like jelly, wishing someone would just stamp the words “third wheel” on your forehead already.

“That looks heavy,” you heard someone say in a deeply familiar baritone voice, causing you to whip your head towards the origin, your wide eyes meeting San’s concerned coffee brown ones. “Do you want me to carry it in for you?”

“San,” you automatically blurted out, alarm bells going off, the mini versions of you running around in panic inside your head, your fingers clasping tighter around your things.

“Y/N,” he parroted back in the same cadence, already moving closer to you, his arms sliding underneath your belongings and holding them up with ease, his navy sweater doing nothing to conceal the solid mass of his arm muscles. “Is it like, misogynistic for me to carry your things?”

You opened and closed your hands, trying your get rid of the pins and needles. “No, I’d say it’s progressive since it’s a big dumb caveman carrying my things, so women: 1, patriarchy: 0.”

San offered you a dimpled smile, his wide shoulders scrunching up slightly, as a hearty laugh emanated from his throat. “Caveman, I like that. Should I go find a cave to explore?” He tilted his head, his eyes flitting between yours and your pleasing body line. “Maybe try to start a fire?”

Your heart leapt into your throat, forcing you to gulp it down. You sneered, already beginning to push past him to enter the cabin, only turning your head back to tell him, “Start a fire and jump inside, caveman.”

San smiled at you, seeing right past your act, watching you walk away, before turning his head to look at the two lovebirds still hugging on each other. “See that? She already gave me a pet name.”

❆ ❆ ❆

“Fuck,” you groaned, dropping yourself down onto the surprisingly comfy mattress in the cozy guest room you were occupying, finally done with putting your clothes and toiletries away in their respective places, for the most part, also noticing that the violent hammering inside your chest had subsided.

And then your door opened.

“Yo, this cabin is pretty sick, right? It’s got a nice, cabin-ey feeling to it,” San announced, walking into your room and looking around like he owned the place. Typical San behavior. Whistling casually, he eventually headed over to your side of the bed, picking up a few skincare products that were sitting on your bedside table to study them. “Does this retinol shit really work?”

“Excuse me, but are you lost? This is my room,” you combated, not bothering to get up from the bed you were currently sinking into, simply turning on your back and lifting your head up slightly to glare at him.

“Bro.” San clutched his chest like you had just emptied a clip right in between his tits, his eyebrows turning upwards, his bottom lip jutting out in a pout. “Why do you act like we haven’t been inside each other?” He climbed onto the bed, looking down at you past his black bangs. “Matter of fact, I know you better than your little friend downstairs.”

You stared up at him, cursing yourself for wanting nothing more than to grab him by his stupid face and kiss him — but you wouldn’t, not after what he did. “You’re so gross.”

“Like in a sexy way, right?” he quipped, chuckling when you just shook your head. San slowly laid himself down beside you, looking up at the ceiling, reaching up behind his head and cupping the back of it to get more comfortable. “You didn’t argue against the fact that I know you better than your own self proclaimed ‘bestie’, you know.”

You let out a small sigh, resting your hands down at your sides, gripping the quilted blanket underneath you, your heart pounding inside your chest just like it did last Christmas. Did you ever fall out of love with him? Was that why your heart felt so stuck? Frozen in place? Like it was waiting for San to make it beat again? “Well, for once, you’re not wrong. I…let you in back then, obviously, so yeah, you know me better than she does. You know me better than anyone.”

San began to reach for your hand, hesitating for a second, not even realizing his walls were just as high. If only he could gather the courage to bring them down. “Y/N…”

You turned to look at San just as he turned his whole body towards yours, giving you one of his infamous gazes, his eyes closed ever so slightly, his lips parted, drawing in a breath. He lowered his hand, touching the top of yours, rubbing it with his thumb. “You know what else I know?”

Why did he have to do this to you? Just what the fuck was his problem?

“What, San?” you questioned underneath your breath, seconds away from losing it completely.

His eyes lost their playful twinkle, instead displaying sorrow. “Y/N, I–”

Seonghwa popped his head into the room. “Y/N, have you seen– Oh,” he deadpanned, displaying an oddly delighted smile for a split second, before his lips evened out. “We’re heading to the hang out now. It’s gonna snow pretty hard in a bit so it’s now or never.”

You both sat up from the bed, your cheeks burning like you had just been caught, well, inside of each other.

Seonghwa was about to say something when your friend walked up behind him and pulled him into whisper something, causing him to whisper back, the both of them nodding at each other.

You and San exchanged glances, before all four of you looked at one another. “Are you hiding things from me, pookie?” you playfully asked your friend, pouting.

“No, I’d never hide anything from you, pookie wookie baby bear!” she cried dramatically, running into the room and tackling you back down onto the bed.

San looked to Seonghwa, making grabby hands at him. “Where’s my hug?”

Seonghwa clicked his tongue, pointing at San’s thin sweater as it rose past his hips. “You better put on some more layers before we go, pookie bear. It’s cold as balls outside.”

❆ ❆ ❆

Instead of hanging out inside your friend’s friends’ cabin where the party was at, you loitered outside in the snow, building yourself a snowman. Maybe he’d stay by your side longer than the last one.

“Hey, what are you doing out here by yourself, ba–” San started, standing with his arm just barely pressing into yours, immediately clearing his throat, sticking his hands into his coat pockets. “Y/N, I mean, heh, sorry I’ve had a few drinks.”

You almost broke the empty beer bottle you were using as the snowman’s nose inside your hands from hearing San almost address you as baby, turning your head to look at the adorably goofy smile he had on his stupidly cute face. You bit your lip, wishing he would just say it, the layers of ice around your heart starting to crack. “I figured. Well, how come you’re out here with me, instead of shotgunning a beer or something with your caveman friends?”

Amused, San nodded his head, impressed by your ability to keep up with your shtick. “They’re too busy hanging around the fireplace, you know. The fire’s so pretty, they got distracted.” He grinned at you, grinning harder when you began to smile back at him, his heart skipping a beat at the sound of the giggle that escaped your lips. “I missed your giggle…missed you…” he murmured absentmindedly, pretending to stay busy by helping you round out the head of the snowman, while you stuck a rock into it where one of the eyes would be.

You dropped the other rock, standing still, feeling your mouth go dry. You racked your brain over his words, wanting to ask him why he didn’t stay with you in the first place if he was just going to miss you so much. You missed him too. You wanted him to know.

By the time you had made up your mind, San had picked up the rock and stuck it into the snow, completing the snowman’s face. “There we go. Mr. Snowman’s looking real nice.” He waited for a second, before turning to look at you with a concerned pout. “He’s not cuter than me, right?” When you didn’t respond, he blinked, leaning in. “Y/N?”

Instead of responding, you found yourself wrapping your arms around San’s neck, pulling him into a hug. You didn’t even say anything — you just focused on feeling his warm body against yours, recalling what it felt like to be his. His baby. If only he would just say it.

“Baby…” he whispered just under his breath, so carefully, like he risked the chance of causing an avalanche if he spoke any louder, gently rubbing your back in circles, automatically resting his head on the top of yours like he did last year. “What’s this about?”

“I don’t know, I just–” you murmured into his chest, your own about to collapse in on itself from hearing what he said, hugging onto him a little tighter than before, wishing things were different. “I…I think I’m drunk…”

“Oh…” San replied, swallowing harshly, only pulling away once you started to. He tucked a bit of hair behind your ear, giving you a concerned look. “You should come back inside and drink some water, then. Seonghwa was right to tell me to check up on you.”

Your face fell slightly, the bottle that was stuck inside the snowman drooping inside the melting snow as if it was mirroring your disappointment. “You…only came out here because Seonghwa told you to?”

“Well, I mean, he was the one that noticed you were gone, so he just thought I should make sure you were okay, yeah…” San explained, rubbing his arm.

You nodded your head, a soft smile returning to your face, not wanting San to see the hurt you felt, not yet, anyway. You were still able to hide it as of late. “That’s nice of him.”

“Yeah, Hwa’s a sweetie,” San mused, noticing the sad snowman, reaching out to fix the position of the beer bottle. “Too bad he’s taken, otherwise I’d be wifing him up and giving him the exclusive Choi San Caveman Experience. There’s a trademark on that, by the way.”He gave you another goofy smile, his smile growing when you offered him a few small giggles.

“I think you need water more than I do,” you mentioned, gently punching his arm.

San chuckled, his smile softening, wanting to say so much more than just, “You might be right.”

After a few seconds of too much silence, and too much yearning for an important conversation to take place, you instead pointed to the lively cabin behind you. “You should go get some. I’ll be back inside soon.”

“Okay, sounds good.” He put his hands back into his pockets, lingering there for a moment, before heading back inside.

You stood there for a while, watching the makeshift nose of the snowman begin to droop again, before you reeled your foot back and kicked into the base of the snowman, watching it topple over and fall apart.

❆ ❆ ❆

You lingered near the spiked punch bowl that sat inside the corner of the cabin’s empty kitchen, drinking down a solo cup’s worth of the fruity beverage and tossing the cup into the sink, not noticing another person’s presence until you turned to the side and bumped your nose into their broad chest. “Oh, shit– I’m sorry,” you apologized, backing up a bit to see that you had ran into no one other than Song Mingi, the man you had trauma dumped and cried to for an hour before having mindless rebound sex with after San dumped you. “Min, hey. Long time, no see.”

“Y/N. It’s nice to see you again. Very nice,” Mingi mused, taking a long sip of his drink, just studying you with his amused, half-closed eyes, pointing upwards with his finger. “What are the odds of this?”

“Hm?” Your eyes followed where he was pointing until your gaze settled on the mistletoe that hung from the doorway above the two of you, a memory of the past immediately lighting up the insides of your brain like the flash of a camera, the snapshot still fresh in your subconscious as though it had never faded in the first place, much like your feelings for San — but who were you to admit that to yourself?

“Jesus, what is with people and mistletoe?” you grumbled, crossing your arms over your itchy christmas sweater, ready to shield your eyes so you didn’t have to look at the two people vigorously making out underneath the red berries that were hung from the ceiling of the crowded cabin.

San hovered near you, running a hand through his hair, his eyes studying your scrunched up, flushed face, wondering how you could be so cute. “The origin of mistletoe is actually really romantic, y’know.” Once you met his gaze, his lips curled into a smile, his dimples making an appearance.

You gripped onto your sweater sleeve, smiling softly back at him, your annoyance fading. “Tell me about it then, Mr. Historian.”

San’s eyes sparkled at your reaction, his shoulder gently pressing into yours as he brought his drink up to his mouth. “Mistletoe has always been able to survive in the harshest of winters. Even when everything’s frozen…” When he lowered his hand, the side of his pinky touched yours, sending warmth into the both of your bodies. “….it still finds a way to bloom.”

You took in a quick breath, having to look down at your feet before your heart burst out of your chest as an unintentional ode to Alien and ruined the annual christmas party. “I didn’t peg you as a hopeless romantic, San.”

“I’m full of surprises, baby.” San hummed, gently taking your chin in his grasp and pressing a kiss to your lips, giggling delightedly as you buried your scorching face into his chest, his heart pounding, wanting nothing more than to show you just how hopelessly in love he was with you, but too afraid to grant you access to the very intense, very full extent of it, let alone himself.

He was full of surprises, so full of them that he was able to show such a meaningful display of love to you and still break up with you on the very same night, with little to no explanation, just a simple ‘I’m sorry.’ Choi San was truly an enigma — one you cursed yourself for still wanting to grasp, to hold, to forgive.

You looked down at Mingi’s drink only for him to motion for you to take it, immediately downing the punch until you were sucking on an ice cube and crunching it between your teeth, satisfied with the buzz coursing through your body, bitterness still seeping its way in your veins. You knew that what you were about to do wouldn’t make you feel any better, but you did it anyway, grabbing Mingi by the collar of his ugly Christmas sweater and smashing your lips against his. What you didn’t know, however, was that San was standing at the end of the hallway, with his hand in his coat pocket, there to witness how Mingi pressed you into the wall.

❆ ❆ ❆

Your friend slowly inched her way towards you from across the brightly lit, festively decorated living room full of your boisterous acquaintances having a battle with each other to determine who could be the loudest, drunkest individual in the room. Currently, it was San, unsurprisingly, who had a beer in one hand while hugging onto the obscenely large Christmas tree in the middle of the room. You couldn’t tell exactly what song he was singing, but you were pretty sure it was a romantic, mostly cheesy pop ballad from the 80s.

“Having fun?” your friend gauged softly, sitting down on the sofa in the corner beside you, clinking her glass beer bottle against yours.

You shrugged, taking a few sips of the chilled beer, crossing one leg over the other. “I made out with Mingi earlier, so that was cool, I guess.”

“You what?” she gasped, pressing closer to you, grabbing your arm and shaking you. “Y/N, oh my god, that’s so —” Her gossipy tone turned into one of concern. “But what about San?”

“What about San?” you grumbled, internally annoyed that all you could think about was San when Mingi’s tongue was down your throat. “He probably already did the same thing, considering how torched he is.”

She sighed, sinking into the couch, very well aware of how San truly felt about you, last Christmas, and how much he wanted to turn things around. Of course she would know. She had to hear it from Seonghwa, who in turn heard it from San off and on for the entire year, but she wasn’t about to speak for him. He would have to do that himself.

“Are you going to play truth, dare, or drink with us?” Mingi suddenly asked you, leaning his hip against the side of the couch, causing you and your friend to look up at him.

“Ehh.” You shrugged your shoulders at him.

He put a hand on your shoulder, squeezing it, feeling someone’s eyes burning holes into the back of his head, figuring San was watching the both of you from the tree, who indeed was, his hands tightening around his beer and the scratchy pine needles he was holding onto. “It’ll be more fun if you join in, Y/N. How bout it?”

You sucked on your teeth for a second, your eyes moving past Mingi to gaze at San across the room, who was now talking to a girl who had came up to him, your stomach sinking at the clear appearance of his dimples. Stupid caveman.

You stood up, fingers squeezing around your poor beer bottle. “Fuck it, I’m in.”

“Good, good,” Mingi replied, smiling absentmindedly, bringing his own drink up to his lips, as if he wasn’t aware of the disaster he was about to bring into fruition — and all for the chance that he could recreate the events of last year’s Christmas party. It led to him having a pretty, teary-eyed girl in his bed to take care of, after all.

❆ ❆ ❆

“Yo, I can’t believe — he actually — I can’t breathe,” someone gasped out in between soundless laughs, falling back into their chair along with their other friends, pointing at San as he trudged back into the cabin past the sliding door, clad in only a form-fitting pair of Christmas themed boxers, wiping some snow off of his shoulders, before immediately going for his mixed drink and tossing it back victoriously, one hand on his hip.

“You bitches really thought I wouldn’t do it,” San chuckled self-righteously, taking another sip, before letting out a low ‘aaah’. “Someone owes me 20 bucks. Which one of you was it?” He held up an accusative finger to one of the girls nearby, who giggled and held her hands up defensively. “It was you, wasn’t it? Give it up!”

The rest of the group laughed in response, drunkenly leaning into each other, gleeful smiles plastered on their flushed faces.

“San’s pretty lively tonight,” Seonghwa said near you, nudging you gently with his elbow. “It’s almost kind of cute, huh?” Poor man was out of the loop, but he was trying, bless his heart.

“Cute?” you muttered, raising an eyebrow at him. “He’s butt-ass naked at a Christmas party. He’s a grown man wearing boxers with candy canes on it. What on earth is cute about that?”

Seonghwa pursed his lips, side-eyeing you. “I don’t know, I just thought you’d agree with the way you’ve been staring at him all night.“

You almost choked on your spit, bringing a hand up to your hair to smooth it out. “Well, it’s hard to keep my eyes off of him when he’s being an annoying ass pick-me like that.”

“But you picked…him.”

“I did. Ages ago, Seonghwa,” you corrected him, watching San out of the corner of your eye, unable to believe that he was letting the girl slip a twenty directly into the waistline of his boxers. As soon as you looked down, San’s eyes were on you, his lips turning into a frown, immediately pushing the girl’s hand away when it lingered a bit too long, his eyes filled with bitter determination. “You know what he did to me. He spent all that time getting my hopes up all year long, only to hit me with the ‘i’m bad with commitment’ card before he left the party last year. That’s bullshit and we both know it.”

Seonghwa sighed in defeat, sinking back into his seat, biting at his lip. “I get what you’re saying, Y/N, I really do. It was unbelievably shitty for him to do that to you, but San…I think he really regrets it. All he talks about is you, Y/N.” Seonghwa turned to face you, gently touching your wrist. “He’s always loved you. He just doesn’t know how to verbalize it.”

You started biting at your lip too, simply listening to your friend’s words, wondering if there was any truth to them. It’s not like you were hearing them from San himself. That would be a different story — though you didn’t know if he was even capable of that kind of vulnerability. “I’d like to believe that, Hwa. I just…”

“Oh my god! With tongue? My virgin eyes!” someone gasped loudly at something, covering their eyes, their friends laughing at his dramatic performance.

“At least someone’s getting some,” Mingi chuckled, while eyeing you, currently holding up the same piece of mistletoe you had encountered together earlier, only this time someone else was under it. Someone that made you wish you had never even came up to the cabin in the first place.

“There’s no way…” you whispered to yourself, unable to take your eyes off of San, who was holding that same girl against him, his hands clutching her hips, his tongue halfway into her mouth by the time you got up from the couch and grabbed a water cup from the coffee table, determined to keep your tears inside your body before you stormed out, but you had to answer to your demons first.

“Y/N, he’s just drunk! He’s trying to make you jealous, okay? He’s being an idiot! Y/N, listen–” Seonghwa tried fruitlessly to reason with you, reaching for your wrist, only for it to slip out of his grasp as you made your way up to San and the unsuspecting woman.

Your bitter, frozen heart quelled you to toss the water at San, watching it splash onto the side of his reddened face, the shock of it sobering him up almost instantaneously, causing him to pull away from the woman and look at you, the weight of his faulty decisions hitting him square into the chest when he saw the tears in your eyes. “Y/N…I…I didn’t mean….I just…” Tears began to form inside his own eyes. “I just wanted you to see me.”

“I see you, San,” you whispered, your voice cracking underneath the weight of your emotional turmoil. “I’ve seen enough, actually.”

San froze in place, while what felt like cement sink to the bottom of his stomach, unable to get himself to stop you from grabbing a freshly opened bottle of booze from someone’s hands and walking away from him.

Your friend tried in vain to reason with you, getting hit with a death glare, before you stormed out. She turned to Seonghwa, whispering “Do something,” encouraging him to run over to San, grabbing him by the shoulders and temporarily keeping him upright.

“San, listen to me.”

San sniffled, his nose sporting a pink hue, as hot tears began to drip down his clammy face, sinking down to his knees, watching as Seonghwa sank down with him. “Seonghwa, I fucked up. I just wanted her to want me. I wanted her to get jealous and take what’s hers. I didn’t know how– a-and her, and Mingi– I just thought maybe if I–”

Seonghwa shook San a bit, his nostrils flaring, his fingers squeezing into his friend’s trembling shoulders. “Get a grip and listen to me!” As soon as San took in a shaky breath and let it out, Seonghwa cleared his throat. “You’re going to put some fucking clothes on, nut up, and go after her. It’s now or never.”

San wiped his eyes, trying to control his breathing. “B-but what do I say, Seonghwa? How can I possibly–”

Seonghwa suddenly pulled him into a hug, clutching the back of his head, feeling San slowly begin to relax against him. “You’re going be honest with her, San. Tell her what you’ve always wanted her to know. The world isn’t going to end after you do. She’ll still be there, and you’ll be safe.”

San clutched Seonghwa’s back, blinking away a few remaining tears. “You promise?”

Seonghwa pulled away, curling his pinky finger around his best friend’s, giving him a firm nod. “Promise.” Seeing the trust inside San’s sparkling eyes, Seonghwa reached up to ruffle his hair, smiling softly. “Oh, and give her that Christmas present you’ve been waiting for her to open.”

A small smile slowly apread across his splotchy face, before he gave Seonghwa a stern nod back, reaching his hand inside the pocket of his coat to feel what had been sitting inside and collecting dust for the entire year. It was time. Things weren’t going to end up like last Christmas. It would be different this time. He would make sure of it.

❆ ❆ ❆

With each passing minute, you sank a little further into the abyss of your memories, as well as the freshly fallen layers of snow that surrounded you, splashes of alcohol melting into it whenever you took a lazy swig and dropped the bottle back down at your side. “You dummy…” you mumbled to yourself, sniffling, your warm tears and body doing its best to combat the chilly environment around you.

Once you reached a street lamp, the warm light glowing onto your damp clothes, the memories of last year, that had once been frozen over suddenly flooded into your mind so quickly, you had to lower yourself onto the gravel beneath you, resting your back against the metal of the large buzzing lamp. “Shit…” You brought your wrist to your eyes, smearing a fresh wave of tears into your slightly damp hair, realizing you had been there before, the deja vu hitting you harder than the icy night wind hit your flushed face.

“San, what’s wrong?” You stood next to your boyfriend, watching him simply stare at the Christmas tree in front of him, his hands in his coat pockets.

San clutched onto the present he had spent weeks waiting to be custom-made and even longer just staring at it inside his apartment, wondering if it was enough, if he was enough, for someone like you.

San slowly shook his head, taking his hand out of his pocket to gently grab your wrist, leaning in to ask, “Can we talk?”

“No, we’re not doing this right now,” you told yourself out loud, smacking the side of your head and shaking it back and forth to hopefully send the memory packing, but it persisted, much like the snowfall around you.

“I don’t understand, San, we were fine! We’re okay. Why are you doing this?” you cried, trying and failing to keep San from leaving the cabin, unable to catch the corner of his coat sleeve until you were both under a street lamp, the light blinking occasionally.

San slowly turned around to face you for a moment, shaking his head, keeping his tears at bay. He didn’t know what he was thinking. How would he be enough for someone like you? Poor San simply couldn’t see the beauty he saw in you in his own self. “I just can’t, Y/N. I’m so sorry. I really am.”

“Can’t what? Can you just talk to me, San? I want to understand, San, please, talk to me,” you begged him, your heart sinking further with each step you took towards him as he continued to walk away. You stopped eventually, in the front of his car, your breath caught in your throat. “So, that’s it? You’re just going to leave? Just like that?”

San stroked his hair with a shaky hand in an unconscious act of self-soathing, tears pricking the corners of his eyes, looking off to the side, before gripping the door handle of his car, as well as the felt box inside his pocket with his other hand, only seeing a blurry version of you by the time he looked back up. How could he explain how afraid he was of you and the love you offered him? How his many walls, like ice, were impenetrable, until you melted them away? It frightened him, so much so that all he could say was, “I’m so sorry, Y/N,” before he got into the car and shut the door.

“You…dummy…” you repeated, this time in a whisper, taking another swig from the bottle and choking down the strong liquor, about to force yourself to down it when you heard what sounded like a set of boots quickly shuffling through the snow.

“Y/N,” San gasped, almost completely out of breath from running through the rough winter terrain, bending forward slightly with his hands on his knees to catch his breath, sending puffs of condensation into the air around you. “I have to – tell you something–”

“Oh, now you have something to say? After all this time? That’s rich,” you scoffed, wobbling a bit as you stood up, trying to put up a front like you had done earlier, though your facade had since melted away, your quivering lips and red, teary eyes on full display. “…Go on, San…”

San finally caught his breath, his heart still hammering away inside his chest, reaching up to his head to stroke his somewhat damp raven hair, trying to swallow the growing lump inside his throat. “Y/N, I…I should’ve said this a long time ago, instead of just leaving you the way I did…”

The longer you stared at him, the longer he felt his walls crumbling around him, figuring that he had no choice but to tell you what had always been lingering on his tongue, buzzing in his heart and mind, and swimming inside his thoughts each night when he was alone. He realized it was worth the risk of having to return to a cold, silent heart, a bitter soul, and even higher walls that he could box himself inside of. To him, you were worth anything.

Your anger slowly subsided at the sight of his serious gaze, his warm coffee-brown eyes studying you like nothing else existed besides you. In fact, nothing did, inside his world, except for you. “San…” you murmured, reaching out to touch his hand, but he already beat you to it, interlacing your cold fingers together.

“I love you, Y/N,” he admitted in the softest, most convicting voice you’ve ever heard from him, slowly pulling out the box he kept inside his coat, opening it to reveal a small gold ring with a jewel shaped like mistletoe, gently sliding it onto your finger when you held your hand out. “I love you so much, baby. So much it terrifies me.”

“Oh, San…” you sighed, breathless, bringing your hand to your chest from being so overwhelmed with emotion. After a moment, you reached for his hand, squeezing it, moving closer to him, his confession and gift warming you up more than a raging, crackling fire ever could. “San–”

“If I had just told you how I felt back then, I wouldn’t have hurt you the way I did.” He squeezed your hand back, his chapped, lower lip quivering. “I wish I could take it all back. It’s all I’ve been able to think about– How I wish I could just turn back time and–”

You silenced San’s words with a gentle kiss, letting go of his hand to wrap your arms around his neck, his arms following suit, closing around your waist. You broke the kiss after a moment to whisper, “I love you too, San. Always have.” You caressed his face, making sure he felt the love pouring out of your words when you promised, “Always will.”

San let out a trapped breath of air, hugging you against him, protectively clutching the back of your head, unable to stop everything he had held inside from spilling out of him all at once.

You simply held him in your arms and stroked the back of his head, not noticing when the light above you had flickered once and went out for a split second, only to shine brighter than it did before, the light warming the exposed skin of your flushed cheeks.

❆ ❆ ❆

San sat on his knees beside the crackling fire, adjusting a piece of firewood, watching the flame catch onto it and travel along the cedar, enjoying the warmth on his skin, eventually turning his head back to admire the sight of you bundled up on the couch with a plush blanket on your lap, your hands clasped around a cup of tea, your eyes admiring your twinkling ring, before you noticed his loving gaze.

“Sannie, come here, love,” you spoke softly, taking one finger off of the cup to beckon him to you, sliding the blanket off and putting the cup down after one more sip.

“Coming, baby.” Eyes sparkling, San inched his way over to you, still on his knees, fitting himself in between yours so that he could wrap his arms around your middle, resting his head against your chest. “Mm, you’re so warm.”

You ran your fingers through his soft, still slightly damp hair, waiting till he looked up at you to caress his cheek, a small sigh leaving your lips. “I’m sorry for what I did to you earlier. I really shouldn’t have reacted like that. It was hypocritical of me.” You ran your fingers gently along his jaw, noticing the way he leaned into your touch.

“No, baby, I’m sorry,” he replied, rubbing his hands up and down your sides, pouting. “I did…that to you in front of everyone…It was really shitty…I just couldn’t think straight after I saw you with Mingi.”

Your face fell, your fingers sliding back into San’s hair to play with it. “I’m so sorry. It wasn’t…I want you to know that there was no meaning behind it, love. I was just bitter. And drunk.”

“I know, Y/N. It’s all forgiven, I promise you.” San reassured softly, responding well to your light touches, nuzzling your hand when it came back to his cheek, his fingers sliding underneath your sweater to squeeze into your sides, sending a light shiver up your spine. “But, you know what, baby?”

“What, Sannie?” Your body temperature started to increase as San brought himself up higher so that you were face to face, body to body, his palms settling onto your bare back.

“There’s meaning behind this,” he whispered, bringing his hands up to cup your face, before gently pressing his lips onto yours. You shared a few firm, passionate kisses, your lips moving against one another’s, hearing San whisper something else that sent a wave straight into your core. “Can you feel it, baby? My love?”

“Yeah, show me more, Sannie,” you murmured against his lips, his mouth slotting back onto yours, almost making you forget to breathe when his tongue began to explore the inside of your mouth.

San sucked lightly on your tongue, before moving down to kiss on your neck, his hands moving further up to unclasp your bra from underneath your sweater. “Can I please touch you, baby?” he asked with a desperation that made his deep voice go up an octave higher.

“Yes, please, touch me,” you responded with just as much desperation, arching your back into his touch when he slipped his hands up the front of your sweater, moving your tits in slow, gentle circles, his lips and teeth attacking your neck and collarbone.

“You feel so good in my hands, baby, fuck, I missed you so much,” San exhaled into your neck, squeezing the roundness of your tits in between his fingers, squishing them together, and lifting them up, only to drop them back down into his palms, groaning all the while. He pulled back slightly, rolling the hem of your sweater up a bit, his hooded, dilated eyes focused solely on yours. “Can I take this off?”

A quick nod was all it took for him to lift your sweater up over your head, your bra falling to the floor. Not wanting you to be alone, he reached behind his head and pulled his own sweater off, his sculpted, muscular upper body bathed in glowing, orange light from the fire blazing away behind him. “You’re so beautiful, Y/N…” he sighed, admiring your body like he did the very first time he saw you bare in front of him.

“So are you,” you replied, slowly running your hands up along his abdomen and back down, his muscles flexing slightly underneath your touch, his eyes following your fingers as they unbuckled his belt, pulling his pants down to reveal his cute custom briefs. “My Sannie, so precious.”

San blushed, his goofy smile slowly disappearing as he unbuttoned your pants, biting hard into his bottom lip once he got them off of you. “Baby…” Unable to just sit there and admire you, he reached forward to cup your tits, running his thumbs back and forth over your stiff nipples, lust clearly running rampant in his head and body by the way he was looking at you with such clear hunger in his eyes, his cock hard and stiff against your core. “Can I taste you?”

“Baby, you don’t have to ask, okay? You can have me, in any way–” you started breathily, feeling San’s cock beginning to pulse against you. “–Every way, Sannie. Please, take care of me.”

San suddenly clutched your hips, slowly grinding his clothed cock into your heat, while his mouth closed around one of your nipples to suck on it, his hooded eyes looking up into yours, his tongue darting out to lap at your tit.

“Feels so good, your mouth on me,” you breathed out, running your fingers through his hair, clutching it tight when he swapped your tit for the other, his jaw lowering so that he could fit more of your squishy globe into his mouth, sucking on it desperately. “Sannie…please…”

Knowing what you wanted, San pulled back to spit onto your tits, watching it drip down, before leaning back in to lick it up, his tongue cascading up and down your now slick skin, still guiding your hips against him, your legs already hooked around his slim waist. Your whiny moans were like music to his ears, taking a break from sucking and licking you to say, “You like it messy, don’t you, baby girl? Makes you so wet for me, doesn’t it?”

“Uh-huh, now come here,” you could barely get out, before you grabbed his face and slammed your lips against his, your mouths and tongues working in tandem, strands of spit dripping down your chins, San’s hands squeezing tightly into your hips, grinding against you so quick, so desperately, you were both about to reach your highs just from that.

“Sannie,” you sighed against his lips, caressing his jaw, his cock rubbing against your cunt in just the right way, your body pulsing with the need to be filled.

“Y/N,” he sighed back, pressing his forehead onto yours, the both of you breathing in the same air, the thick, throbbing length of his cock rubbing deliciously along your clothed slit until your lower halves began to jolt, your moans and gasps crescendoing in unison. “Cumming? Are you cumming for me, baby?”

“Y–esss, Sannie, m’ cumming for you,” you cried out, holding onto him as tightly as you could, your nails digging lightly into his back, feeling his muscles contracting. “Cum for me too, please, baby, let me see you.”

San let out a choked, whiny moan, panting heavily, losing his quick, focused thrusts, opting for sloppy, abrupt movements, barely about to get out the word, “B–abyyy…”

You both fell apart in each other’s arms, your eyes never breaking contact, your combined arousal soaking through your respective undergarments.

Once you both caught your breath, San reached down to rub your pussy with two thick fingers, able to see your slit through your shiny, see-through panties, his cum-covered cock already twitching back to life. “Fuck, baby, look at that…you’re completely soaked.”

“Just for you,” you nodded, spreading your thighs open further, pulling the hem of your panties up a bit to emphasize your puffy cunt, your clit pressing into the soft cloth material.

“Oh my god, baby, I need to taste you,” San suddenly whined, squeezing his fingers into the softness of your thighs, lowering himself down to take a deep inhale of your arousal, his head going completely fuzzy, unable to keep himself from drooling onto your cunt.

You slipped your fingers into his soft hair, bringing his face against your heat, sighing at the feeling of his nose bumping against your clit as he took another deep breath, shuddering when he began to tongue your cunt through your panties. “That’s it, Sannie, feels so good,” you moaned, your praise going straight to San’s cock, causing it to strain against his stained briefs.

“Mmmn,” San moaned against your pussy, licking one slow, long strip up your slit to your clit, filled with so much need for you that he couldn’t keep himself from tearing your panties off of you with one quick tug, making you gasp and release more slick, his mouth already on you to lap it right up, his other hand shoving his briefs down so that his cock could spring out against his abdomen, pre-cum smearing across his tan skin. “This pussy is all mine, baby…mine to eat, mine to fuck….mine to fill, isn’t it?”

“Yes, Sannie, all yours, it’s all yours,” you answered, clutching his hair, desperately grinding your cunt against his tongue when he held it out, looking deep into his eyes that never left yours for a second, suddenly gasping out when San spread your hole open, sending a wad of spit inside before his agile tongue slipped inside of you.

San grabbed the undersides of your thighs and lifted your lower half up so that he could tongue fuck you as deep as humanly possible, letting out a pleased moan each time his tongue entered your soaked, pulsing hole. He kept going until you saw stars, going ‘uh-huhhh, uh-huhhh’ as soon as you began to shudder, your arousal squirting out and soaking his flushed face.

“My pretty baby came so hard for me,” San sighed, licking your wetness up from your sensitive cunt and his lips, before he brought you in for another sloppy kiss, letting you taste yourself.

The longer you kissed, the more you wanted him inside you, needed him to fuck his love into you until you couldn’t remember your own name. You needed him so badly, you didnt even realize what you were doing until you had found yourself pushing San down onto the fur carpet below and straddling him, sitting on his lap in a way that showed the both of you exactly where his long, veiny cock would reach inside of you once he filled you up. “Need you, Sannie. Need you now.”

“You can have me, baby.” San’s cock twitched against your abdomen, his hands rubbing your thighs, eventually lifting you up and down onto his cock, groaning at the feeling of your pussy swallowing his length inch by inch. “Fuck, princess, have all of me.”

Instinctively, San began to buck his hips up into you, filling you up so well, you felt a bit dizzy, encouraging you to hold onto his chest, still taking his cock deep inside your cunt like you were made for him.

San must’ve agreed too because he couldn’t keep from groaning out, “Look at you, babygirl, look at the way you’re taking me, taking my cock so deep–” He pressed one hand to your abdomen, feeling the bulge his cock made each time he fucked into you, driving the both of you crazy. “Your pretty pussy was made for me, baby. Made just for me. You’re mine, babygirl.”

“Yours.” You quickly lowered yourself down to kiss him, his hands sliding up and down along your body to feel your warm skin underneath his touch, eventually settling his hands on your cheeks, wiping a few of your tears away when you began to cry from the overwhelming pleasure.

“Cum for me, Y/N…You can do it…Fall apart for me, baby, ” San encouraged in between heavy breaths, slowing the movements of his hips down, instead filling you up in a slow and meticulous manner, drawing your intense orgasm out of you. “Yes, baby, that’s it, that’s it…”

“Sannnn, oh my god, San.” The longer you fell apart, the tighter your pussy constricted around San’s cock, causing him to throw his head back, sweat dripping down along his straining neck, his veins growing more visible when he gripped your thighs tightly. “Fill me up, Sannie. Need your cum inside.”

“Cumminggg, princess, oh my god, baby girl,” San groaned heavily, lifting you up and down on his throbbing length, before fully sheathing himself inside you, coating your walls with white.

Panting, you both gazed at each other’s sweat-covered faces and bodies, knowing internally that it wasn’t enough. Not nearly.

“Again?”

“Again.”

San didn’t waste any time gently pulling you off of him and climbing on top of you instead, spreading you open and filling you back up, sighing at the sight of your mixed arousal forming a ring around the base of his cock each time he pounded himself into you. “You’re so full of my cum, baby…so full of my cock, aren’t you, pretty girl?”

“So full for you, Sannie, don’t stop,” you gasped, hardly able to breathe with the way he had you folded up, your legs over his shoulders, his cock slamming so deep inside you that you swore he was hitting your womb.

“Wasn’t gonna,” San exhaled, chuckling softly, his lips curling up to give you a smile, his eyes creasing with amusement. “Need to show you my love.”

“Show me, baby,” you sighed affectionately, smiling back at him, giggling at the sight of his eyes lighting up, before you pressed a kiss to his lips.

The wet, sloppy sound of your bodies joining together over and over filled up the otherwise quiet cabin, along with your harmonious moans, the remaining pieces of firewood still crackling away beside you. Time seemed to stop completely. It was just you and him, coming undone together for what seemed like a lifetime.

You both ended up back on the couch, your limbs and bodies entangled, snuggling together underneath the cozy blanket, talking with each other about anything and everything until your eyelids grew heavy, leading you to drift off, your fingers clasped together.

Before you could fully fall asleep, you nuzzled your cheek against San’s chest, gently inhaling his comforting scent. He smelled like aftershave, warm cedar wood, and spiced cinnamon. It reminded you of your time there at the cabin, the memories you spent together, both good and bad, swirling together to form a comfortingly bittersweet concoction, one that you would consume in every lifetime.

“San,” you whispered softly into the darkness, the fire beside the both of you now ashes and smoke.

“Yes, Y/N?” he whispered back, his arms closing around you protectively.

You sighed against his skin, your body and heart melting like the snow would begin to do as well, once the sun came up. “I love you so much, San…” You lifted your head up, hovering above him so that you could look down at him, your fingers clutching his jaw, your expression so soft San thought you might cry. “I want to show you how to share some of that love with yourself one day.”

San smiled up at you, his eyes full of so much adoration for you, it threatened to spill out of him, his fingers running through your hair. “You showed me, Y/N. Through it all, behind every word, every action, I still saw it there. That’s why I put myself first and confessed to you.” He smiled softly, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. “I’m…not nearly as put together as I seem. I just love you so much, it makes me want to be strong. For you. And…for me.”

You didn’t realize you were crying too until you saw your teardrops land on his face and slide down his cheek, wondering if your icy heart had finally melted, and that was why there were so many tears escaping from your blurry eyes. “Oh, San, my sweet San, I’ll be here to watch you grow, I promise,” you murmured, hugging onto him and laying back down to rest your head on his chest, gently rolling the ring around your finger.

San’s hand came up from underneath the blanket to rest on top of yours. He squeezed your hand and you squeezed right back. “Promise?”

“Promise,” you repeated softly, closing your eyes, your heart at peace. “As long as you promise to watch me too.”

San closed his eyes too, a few more happy tears dripping past his cheeks, squeezing you just a little tighter than before. San felt safe. Whole. “I’d love nothing more, Y/N.”

Apply for the taglist here ⇢ ♡

© kitten4sannie, 2023.

[lynlyndoll]

Taste

genre: -slightly- suggestive (the name of the song should be enough to realize what kind of fic this will be.), angsty (there are things that would provoke anger for reader and the pair!)

pairing(s): lee know x fem! reader, hyunjin x fem! reader, felix x fem! reader

appearances and specifications: ok, so we have each one of the guys here!! nothing bad, just please do NOT read this unless you are 18+ tbh... there may be just kissing, but it's in a suggestive way.

an: ok, God.. I had this idea for like.. around 2-3 weeks?! but didn't have the time to write it lmao (nor the guts). Anyway, since i listened to taste 20 times already (i can actually show proof for that) i said, WHY TF NOT?! so here it is!!

lee know - 0.8k wc

A party shouldn't be a big problem to you. You loved good parties. What you didn't consider about this party was that your ex was there as well. Everyone knew you and him used to be the power couple, the ones to set the barriers to sky limits in college. And everyone also knew how the most popular couple in uni broke up. It happened a few weeks ago, you came into the apartment both of you shared, full of stress. The only thing you wanted was to be next to your boyfriend. But when you came into the room, your boyfriend was nowhere to be seen. What annoyed you the most was that he came back with a wide, drunk smile at 2 am. You were sleeping on the couch, phone attached to your hand in hope that he would at least call. He tried to remain as silent as a drunk man could, but you woke up, staring at him with an annoyed figure on your face.

"Jagi-"

"No, "jagi". Not even a call, Minho? One fucking call?" You yelled at him, letting him look with wide eyes at you. "Where were you, at least...?" You massage your temples.

"At a drink with the guys.." he answered, startled. You weren't surprised. He did this almost every day. You never told him not to go, but sometimes he should consider you. You, his girlfriend, and your needs.

"Minho... I don't... I can't do this." You sighed, murmuring.

"Jagi, what do you mean?" His voice saddened and eyes on the verge of crying. He knew what you meant, but he needed you.

"Minho... you know what I mean." You sighed, getting up. "I can't stay with someone that doesn't consider me as well."

And that's how everything ended between you and him, with tears and misunderstandings. You moved in with your two other friends and everything was fine. At least, that's what you wanted to think. You always thought about Minho, about his scent and about his little jokes. About his cats and his family, which made you feel like you were already in their family. After the break up, everyone thought about both you and Minho, that the relationship was faked, since none of you looked worse then before, but which no one knew was the tears and thoughts both of you had during the night, when everything came back.

Tonight, you see him again. Drunk, with a smile on his face and girls around him, as if nothing wrong happened. You were already at the 4th drink for that night and your judgment was slowly affected. To stop acting like a jealous ex - which you were - you go more into the center of the party to dance.

Tonight he sees you again. Drunk and dancing with a random guy you just met on the dance floor. He tried to take control of his own actions, however, when he saw you and the guy you were dancing with almost kissing, he lost all his temper. He got up, got to you before you kissed the boy and dragged you out of the room, in the dark hallway of the house the party was held in.

"Minho, what the fu-" You yelled at him, interrupted by a kiss. Your eyes widen in shock as he presses your back on the wall. The kiss wasn't soft either, his tongue trying to fight for dominance with yours and you, allowing him. After some seconds that felt like minutes, he broke the kiss slightly, his breath still upon yours.

"Why did you do this, Minho...? We're not-" You try to say, still not looking directly at Minho, the only thing in your sight being his eyes.

"Because I'm addicted to you..." He murmurs in your ear, making your ears red and a crimson shade appearing on your cheeks.

"Minho, you're drunk. Your sober self probably wouldn't even want to do this. Maybe it's just the alcohol in your veins that made you kiss me."

"When I saw you with that guy, Y/N... I want you to just look at me, only me." He says, kissing you, this time softer and slower. You slightly smiled into the kiss.

"Min... I can't kiss someone that I love, without knowing if that someone would really take this seriously." You say after the kiss breaks.

"You either kiss me or hate me, Y/N. I promise to you that I'll never disregard your feelings, but the choice is yours." He says, causing both you and him to feel hundreds of different emotions. Both of you breathed against each other, until you took his head in your palms and smiled at him, locking eyes with his.

"Good. Because I would never want to hate you." You smile and kiss him, pressing him even more on your body.

hyunjin - 0.4k

Between you and hyunjin has always been an attraction. It was never spoken about though, because none of you was supposed to be seen near the other, your families being rivals.

One night, however, after too many shots of soju, he snapped at you, then you snapped at him and everything ended with both of you making out on his couch. In the morning, you were the first to wake up and be concerned of what happened, so you got up and left his apartment as fast as you could. However, with time, this happened more times, eventually wanting more than just sex, so slowly but steadily, Hyunjin and you started dating behind the backs of your families, your friends backing you up whenever it was needed. Tonight, however, you had to stop everything because of your parents.

Your parents found you a match and you had to have an arranged marriage with someone they picked. You knew that if you told the real reason to Hyunjin, he would ask you to leave with him, to forget about this life. You wanted to live and forget with him, but you had duties that had to be fulfilled, and for that purpose your family would never leave you alone. So you told him a lie. A lie that made his heart ache, which made your heart ache. However, he knew you were lying. He knew that your relationship meant everything for each one of you, he knew that arranged marriage happened in the life both you and him lived, so that should've been the motive, but he just didn't understand why you had to live this life.

"Love... " he says, taking your hand in his, his fingers linking with yours. With his other hand, he raises your chin.

"Hyunjin.." You say, your breath on his face, as he locks eyes with you. He leans in, slowly closing his eyes.

One last kiss was all he desired. But after you both narrowed the gap between you and him, he knew that without you, he can't focus on anything else. He knew he's in trouble, your heart full of lies was hurting him, but once you both started, you must be his. He knew he would do anything only to have you by his side. Forever.

felix - 0.5k

It was always the same with Felix, your best friend of 10 years. Stolen kisses in the moonlight, lies that could sweep every girl’s feet and the same sweet, but dangerous tone of voice. You don’t even know how everything happened, how from a perfect friendship, both of you wanted more and that want turned into a need, which slowly turned into a friends with benefits dynamic. No doubt that you wanted him, but you wanted him more than a friend who you fucked for interest, you wanted him as a person who you saw your future with, your partner. Tonight was, as always, the same. You and him, under the sky full of stars, and the silence that always occurred during these times. However, you had enough of his games. He never intended to make a move and if he didn’t, then it was your time to move further and stop this dynamic for good. From tonight, he either would kiss you as a lover, or he would leave you and never come back.

“Felix, I have something to ask you.” You look in his eyes, him already curious.

“Yeah, Y/Nnie?” He says, his sweet deep voice making you shiver again.

“Do I mean anything to you?” You say, your voice slightly shaking.

“Of course, love. You’re my starlight, my best friend, my-”

“Yeah, your best friend.” You look away from him with a frown.

“Y/N, what is it?”

“Oh, nothing, just my mind thinking we could be more than friends.”

“Y/N…” he says, but you cut him off.

“No, Felix. I heard enough and I agree. But I can’t continue with this.” You look at him, eyes focusing on his confused expression.

“Y/N, you don’t understand.” He grabs your wrists, switching his position on top of you. “This is the only thing you don’t get.” He smiles, making you confused.

“What…?”

“Y/N, if you think that I don’t like… No, if I don’t love you, then I’ll make you feel my love, I promise.” He says, leaning in even more, your lips brushing on each other.

“But you said… Now you’re only lying, you’re playing with my feelings.” You say, focusing on his lips, trying to stop your heart beat faster than it ever was.

“I don’t dare lie on this meaningful night, though. It’s my chance to finally make you understand how much I love you.” He says, kissing your lips with an affection and passion that you never felt from anyone, both of your senses shutting down, the only thought being the one of tasting each other as lovers.

taglist!!

@agi-ppangx @lisaaassophhhieee @hyunjin-lover20

[hyunjining]

hi, how are you doing? :)

getting right into it: you made a comment a while back on where you could possibly write an entire essay on how Larry and Larrries changed the 'landscape of fandom'.

this post: https://at.tumblr.com/larryalbum/709204686830452736/t5742yilryne

(hopefully the link works)

Gaylorlikeme continued onto your post, going further with a real-world application, and I'm thankful that it was really put into words as such. Homophobia is the root cause of a lot backlash when it comes to anything other than a W/M relationship.

Back to what you said, it got me thinking a bit more of what that means. I just wanted to ask if you might keep me in mind if you ever write more about it or actually write an essay one day. I love to read other's thoughts, especially on this topic. As well as having a conversation about it.

I'm really new to being aware of Larry and everything that the ID Fandom has to offer so your sentence just got me wondering about how Larries could have changed Fandom as a whole when it comes to speculation and shipping versus like characters. For example: Kirk/Spock and Dean/Cas or Sherlock/John.

Yeah, it's just really fascinating. Am I on the right track of what you meant by that?

thank u so much! hope you're doing well

hi, i’m alright, thank you 💕

i was kind of joking about actually writing an essay but a lot of people have actually expressed interest so you never know lol. for now i am open to talking more about it because i find it super fascinating.

you’re pretty spot on about what i meant. i think the major backlash that larries have received (spearheaded by 1d’s team, the members of 1d and everyone associated with them) for believing that harry and louis are gay and together has affected every corner of the internet. if you interact with any other fandom, you can almost guarantee that there will be people imploring you not to act like larries, meaning not to speculate on any real person’s sexuality under any circumstances and not to “ship real people.” and of course by that they mean to never speculate that anyone is queer or in a queer relationship, because people have no problem shipping men and women together based on pap pics or brief interactions or them being literal toxic exes lmao. i mean, just look at what happened with andrew garfield and amelia dimoldenberg after that one red carpet interaction: they went viral and fans, news outlets, and other celebrities were openly talking about shipping them.

and i think this deep fear of being perceived as larrie-adjacent has created a weird and honestly harmful status quo where people refuse to acknowledge people who are very clearly queercoding but are not out/haven’t literally said the words “i am queer.” so if you’re not out, you get accused of queerbaiting, of stealing queer roles from “actual” queer people, etc. people think they’re being respectful but they end up harming other queer people and creating this pressure for everyone to come out if they want to live their lives the way they want to. that’s what happened to kit connor (and yet people still misunderstand that situation and turn around and use it as evidence to not speculate on people’s sexualities, when the whole problem was people thinking he was STRAIGHT and playing a bi character, not people thinking he was queer).

and on the topic of heartstopper, people in that fandom are literally telling each other not to say that joe locke and sebastian croft are dating when they very clearly are and it’s just hilarious to me. you can’t tell me that if they were a man and a woman, people wouldn’t immediately assume they’re dating. we can use louis’ most recent stunt (or really any stunt, especially most of harry’s) as an example here: he was papped holding hands with this girl once and there are already update accounts about their “relationship” even though there’s been no official confirmation of them dating.

and i absolutely think this attitude is because of larry. one direction became a thing right as twitter was really taking off, and the band used twitter as their main source of interacting with fans and cultivating their image online. never before had there been something like larry, where people were believing that two male members of the same hugely popular, mainstream band were legitimately dating each other and compiling evidence to support this fact. and the subsequent reaction from their team was so uniquely aggressive that it made larry even more widely known. and so, cut to today, even though 1d hasn’t been a band for almost 8 years (jesus), anyone who’s been on the internet for any amount of time knows about it. but the main thing they know, if they never look any deeper, is how utterly hated we are and how we supposedly ruined harry and louis’ friendship. and they of course don’t want to ruin the relationships of their favorite singers, actors, etc, so they’ve created the environment i previously described.

it’s pretty awful, really. especially because a large amount of larries are queer themselves. but that’s where we are.

thank you so much for your message! i hope that answered your question and i hope you’re doing well as well 🥰

[relaxxattack]

hi! it's me :) fic rec anon. things have been hard lately so i have some more stuff to recommend bc it makes me feel better. uh, this one's mostly a like, grab bag of stuff? miscellany yknow. let's get into it (also if i have any repeats of stuff you've rec'd here before then Whoops)

pilot light, pale rapture is a post-game fic about jade and her Issues. jade/davepeta. has some excellent jane work in there and is meant to imply june pre-transition. i'd also like to recommend this author's other work, including the collected works of the originators, and the fanventure kittyquest which you can find on mspfa. both the collected works and kittyquest are about a richly detailed take on earth C, with accompanying myths; kitty quest is about jade and davepeta's daughter kitty harley-leider. very very good.

estrogamer girl is about trans girl roxy! very sweet. gen.

METHODOLOGY AND INTERPRETIVE "RECORD" OF SOULBOT WRECK AA109.23J2 – [DRAFT] is about a post-game grad student accessing the wreckage of one of aradia's soulbots postcanon, and experiencing the feelings of a doomed timeline's aradia. ararezi, outsider pov.

who could ask you to be unbroken or brave again is a fic about rose and vriska talking about trauma and child abuse post-canon. gen.

Metronome of a Night Queen's Heart and Other Unused Romance Novel Names is a fic in which kanaya asks dave to be her bloodbag after becoming a vampire, causing rosemary and davekat misunderstandings. rosemary and davekat.

Jade: Endure is about what it would have been like for jade to grow up with her corpse in her own house. short and very good. gen.

grant me wings that i might fly is about jade english raising jake english up to her eventual death. very good. gen.

DIRK TAKES A PISS is , okay listen i know from that title oyou might be like, fic rec anon, What are you recommending to me BUT LSITEN ITS ABOUT DIRK ACCIDENTALLY DROPPING HIS PACKER ON THE FLOOR OF A BATHROOM AND GETTING MEET CUTE'D. it's good. okay. dirkjake.

one more night (your ex-lover remains dead) is a junejasprose fic about trauma and what it means to be a rose left behind. if you're going to read ANY jasprose fic you have to read this one it's literally iconic to me and changed the way i see her forever. junejasprose.

Light Without Effulgence is a jake & rose friendship manifesto and it is HILARIOUS. "rose, you gather, is like dirk if he were a woman and capable of being happy" like that's hilarious to me. gen.

Bitter is a fancomic about jade and rose and i'm not going to spoil the surprise of what it's about but it's DELICIOUS. jaderose.

CHARGING THE VOID is a space opera roserezi au with hints of vrisrezi left behind and also both rose and terezi are trans and also it's DELICIOUS like i can't even say anything about it. if anyone has read baru cormorant and is familiar with it it's like that. roserezi, unlike pretty much anything else i've recced here it DOES have a sex scene so if you're uncomfortable with that it's not for you.

think about staying alive is a kidswap au! about rose strider my favorite kidswap <3 gen.

Postscript is about rosefef, rebellion au, being the last two left alive carrying out a rebellion against the condesce. rosefef.

Transperience is about calliope and the trans experience! fancomic, gen. very good.

goddess is about june egbert coming out! can you tell i'm a june egbert Believer gsdlkjfsakldj it's gotten to the point it's hard to read fic where she's called john lmao

I'm Hoping One Day Acting Cool Will Make Me Feel More Self Assured is about kanaya maryam and the burdens of being assigned mom friend. rosemary. also she and rose have a long furby.

we are the reckless is a space opera au in which vriska's a pirate captain and aradia's a helmsman. i love the blackrom in this. aravris.

i think this is enough for rn. have fun!

AND WHEN THE WORLD NEEDED THEM MOST…

THEY RETURNED!!!

thank you so much!!!!! these all look very fun and it’s definitely appreciated TwT and kind of you!!! 💞💞💞

[kyriolex]

I find it quite odd, how people think Himawari will be affected by Eida's Diablos Ex Machina and become Sasuke 2.0 and go on a revenge path to hunt and try to kill Boruto. What the heckie?

(Yes people believe that Himawari being affected by Eida's powers and going psycho killer mode)

Lmao First of all, we're talking about NARUTO and HINATA'S Daughter here. She's a perfect mix of the 2 characters who would NEVER go down a revenge path

We're talking about the Daughter of Uzumaki fucking NARUTO, the same guy who forgave Obito, the man responsible for the many deaths including his own Parents, and even called him "The Coolest Guy"

The Daughter of Hyuga fucking HINATA, who never hated Neji, even calling him her Brother, even when he was in the midst of trying to kill her.

What the hell would make them think Himawari would become anything like Sasuke let alone go down a cycle of hatred? 🤔

Also Himawari's name literally means "SUNFLOWER"!

Imagine a Blood Lusted, Revenge Thirsty character with the name Sunflower 🌻

The characters in the Naruto Franchise have been proven to have names that define the type of characters they are.

"Hinata" for example means "A Sunny Place". It was deliberately given to her to match her character. She tends to pop up when Naruto is in a Dark point of the story and it was also a subtle clue that she and Naruto were the endgame pairing since Naruto represents the Sun

Another example is "Itachi" who's name means "Weasel'. "Weasels" are often a name given to people known for being tricky and deceitful. Not only is Itachi a Genjutsu user but is also a Traitor to his own Clan

Why would a character named "Sunflower" go down a dark Sasuke route?

Even ignoring the fact that Kishimoto himself said that the idea of a girl with a "Sasuke-like personality" sounds terrifying to him. (It's the reason why Sarada takes more of Sakura's traits) it also sounds really OOC to me, for Himawari to suddenly go full Avenger just by going off of Kawaki's words without anything else to back it up, even if she is affected

We've seen how Himawari acts when secrets are being kept. She's not dumb.

In the first episode of Academy Arc she saw right through Kawaki lying to her about being on Mission and attempted to confront him about it

Later on she spied on him and Naruto conversating about the mission

Hima is the type of character who would ask questions first, look into things herself, and then take action

Her automatically deciding that Boruto needs to die doesn't sound like Hima at all.

I mean, even Shikamaru "smartest boy ever" Nara has fallen under Eida's jutsu, so I don't think intelligence or perceptiveness alone would prevent Himawari from resisting it. There's some mystery factor to the resistance, and it's unclear yet if she has it or not.

If Himawari falls under Eida's spell, I agree that she's unlikely to go into revenge mode immediately. But I could see her becoming a tracker-nin to find Boruto and attempt to talk-no-jutsu him the same way Naruto tried to do with his "brother" Sasuke. I don't know if Himawari would automatically believe Boruto's explanation, but she'd at least hear him out.

But knowing Kishimoto, there will be some contrived misunderstanding to push her into Byakugan Berserker mode anyway, solely so he can draw her and Boruto fighting. Then Toneri will show up on the sidelines, make some analogy to Hiashi and Hizashi Hyuuga, and monologue about the nature of fate.

[valleyfthdolls]

Thanks! So I’ll get into the relevant AU lore and my explanation for Michael possibly having BPD.

- In this AU, Michael’s motives for going to all the locations to try and undo his fathers actions were mainly because he felt obligated. William was the cause of everything, so as his son, he "needed" to put everything back together. However, there was also a need to gain validation from William that influenced Michael’s actions. To Michael, if he endured all of the harm that came from what his father did, it would somehow prove he was worthy love. (Self destructive behaviour caused from wanting validation.)

- I think this is main reason I considered that Michael could possibly be borderline. He has a fixation on Henry that reminds me of BPD attachment styles. Strong admiration that can become with blind idolisation, to the point where his self destructive issues intensify. Michael almost accepted his fate in the FNAF6 fire because it like a way to show respect to Henry (I don’t really know how to explain it right now.)

There’s more a bit more but the AU is still a massive WIP and I don’t want to spoil too much of the story I’m planning. And I may have spent way longer on this than I intended to-

Anyways, love to here what your thoughts are!

Ok I finally thought hey I need to fucking answer this lmao- be aware my commentary may sound negative but nothing you’ve said is offensive and it’s clear you care about properly representing things like this when you write them.

That being said, I think this is a bit of a misunderstanding of how BPD works. It’s hard to tell from just reading up on it, and this I know because before I realized I had it, or at least am suspected and have a lot of traits, I totally misinterpreted what it was like from reading about symptoms, but a lot of BPD symptoms come about in interpersonal relationships as a massive part of BPD is a fear of abandonment. This can manifest in the ways you mentioned above, however in the context of BPD I’m not entirely sure that it fits the criteria of the disorder. While Michael is seeking validation, he doesn’t seem to be doing it with the intent to keep someone close or avoid being abandoned in a relationship he feels is important to him. Him wanting to prove himself worthy sounds more like some sort of complex, wanting to prove to himself that he is worth his father’s love as opposed to trying to keep him around. With Henry I feel like the attachment style best known for BPD, a favorite person, often comes with a need for, again, a close and constant relationship. A description I’ve heard from someone who helped me sort out my feelings on my ex FP is that “just the idea of them leaving you feels like the world crumbling under your feet.” It tends to manifest as a sense of dependency on the person for emotional stability, extreme anxiety about them abandoning you, a desire to be with them as much as possible and a need for them to be happy for you to be happy. Idolization certainly does happen with BPD, as black and white thinking is a very commonly discussed part of BPD.

If you don’t mind me derailing for a second, I want to bring up a bit of my own writing, which also features a protagonist with BPD and a massive fire. The protagonist of this story’s biggest flaw is his black and white worldview, followed by his inferiority complex, social incompetence, stubbornness, poor relationship skills, emotional and somewhat unpredictable behavior, and the fact that he can’t stop thinking about horror for more than 5 minutes or he will explode and die. If you’ll excuse that tangent, as you can probably tell, this character is heavily coded as autistic and borderline. The black and white worldview, especially in how he views others, is the biggest symptom, but over the course of the story as everyone around him is basically dropping like flies, he develops an attachment to his friend(?)/crush, a girl he had previously seen as above him as a result of the aforementioned black and white thinking. At the end of the story, their school is set on fire with the survivors inside, and this girl is restrained inside the school. Despite constant pushing from the other survivors to get out and leave her because unfortunately they can’t save her and make it out alive, he physically attacks the girl pulling him toward the exit and runs back toward her. This relationship with her is so important to him that it completely dominates his thoughts in this moment, overtaking even his survival instinct as the thought of losing her is so painful that he’d rather be cooked alive than let her go.

While it’s a similar concept to Michael and Henry in your AU, the interpersonal relationship aspect is important. This isn’t me saying I’m a better writer than you, I just want to explain how I executed a similar idea with a character who canonically has BPD. If Michael is close with Henry or sees him as an important person in his life or someone who his relationship with is this important, then this does check the box. A close relationship really isn’t necessary for that attachment, but it has to be a relationship that is that important. Like in your analysis on Devon, who isn’t close with the girl you proposed as him being attached to, but he certainly is fixated on her and their relationship to the point it consumes a lot of his thoughts. If this is similar to your Michael’s view of Henry, then like I said, this is a pretty good depiction of a common borderline attachment style. However, as it is, while your Michael having BPD is possible as he has abstract(?) symptoms, it’s not really a dead ringer for BPD. However, if you imagine your Michael as having BPD, it’s also not really inaccurate as it’s different for everyone, but the relationship aspects are very common. And at the end of the day it’s up to you since it certainly is possible given what you’ve written

[ebdanon]

something is off with me because im not sure why you were worried about where i was going with the story 🥲 i mean i know its a shitty story but i never expect anything horrible to happen

and yeah there's never been a single reasonable parent between mine and my husband's parents lmao while his dont care about arguing in front of strangers as long as the scene looks like they're the victims, mine have always strived to appear perfect in front of strangers. i met my in laws a couple of months after we started dating, i was invited over for dinner, and my mil had no problem starting a screaming match about some local politician's election promises. on the other hand, i met my best friend over a decade ago, when her family moved to the apartment next door to my family's. the building is structured in a way where we shared a single wall across half of the rooms, e.g. my and her bedrooms were separated by a single wall, and if we felt like hanging out, we'd knock on that wall to let the other one know lol her family never knew about a single raised voice or argument or anything in my family despite those things happening regularly, because all those things happened in the room that was most remote from all other neighbors, so that my parents could continue presenting a pristine image to the rest of the world. now both sets of parents are irritated with us because we never have arguments, since we're able to sort out any misunderstanding calmly and quietly - no malice, vengeance, or ego - because we both understand how bad they are from growing up in a similar way. we both saw one of those "its not you vs me, it's us against the problem" quotes and took it to heart lmaoo

funny story, i feel like fate or the universe was involved in us meeting because it turned out we'd been orbiting each other's lives and friend groups the entire time before we first saw each other, which is kinda weird. like both of us being at the same time and place, but never seeing each other. ive seen pictures of us at the same parties in bars, separated by a table or two. or even just hanging out with friends, my friends had a preferred bench at a local park, turned out so did his, and it was literally the one 30ft away at the same park. we knew each other's friends but never actually saw one another so we could meet until we were in our 20s lmao the universe kept saying "not yet" till we grew up 😂 quite literally, my other best friend knew him personally but i never even saw him until years later lmao

anyway, a day after the whole shitstorm argument, and we have my mil twisting everything to fit her worldview. for example she claims she never called me a piece of shit, she was actually calling my husband that, despite me literally quoting when and how it happened, it's being turned into me "misremembering" despite it happening multiple times, but i only quoted one situation, but its fine because that's what narcissists do lmao

the fact that you WERE surprised i was worried is concerning 😭

also thats very sweet with your husband, the invisible string of it all 🥺 its crazy how you can orbit someone for years and not even realize it. i remember one of my best friends and i discovered we were at the same party one night our sophomore year of college and completely missed each other. i was there with my shitty ex roommates and met some people there who were also not the greatest to me but sometimes i think i needed that to get to where im at now

also my mom does the same thing tbh but idk if shes doing it maliciously or actually has memory issues 😭 girl had insomnia and lack of sleep can fuck your memory. but it drives me NUTS

[femaleboysblog]

fuck it. 3,6,11,23,24,32, and 69 godspeed soldier

03: Do you regret anything?

I honestly have been regretting so much lately lol, not treating my ex better (even if she didn't do it back tbh), drinking too much on that one weekend alone with that one guy. not going out the house for almost six months. always holding myself back scared of being the "weird" kid. sighs.

06: How do you want to die?

lee's ending from the movie bones and all (trigger warning)

11: Do you like someone?

right now I have celebrity crushes and online crushes(?) but no, I'm not even talking to anyone like that right now lol I had two talking stages over the last month and they both managed to scare the shit out of me in like. a span of a week. (cis men, am I rightttt)

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

ok. so. I have a septum piercing, had to get it pierced twice cause the first girl who did it was high on weed. I have a lip piercing on the left side. uhhh, two earrings? piercings? on both ears, but I still have them stretched a bit so I use dangly plugs (or whatever you call them on english). I've also had an eyebrow piercing and an industrial piercing twice. I've pierced myself a side nose piercing but I couldn't get the jewelry in so I kinda gave up for now. that's a lot

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

art, only. even though I started studying english by myself at nine years old watching skins uk and doctor who, I still sucked at the class and hated doing the lessons. the other ones I was so bad the teachers were the ones bullying me so I would skip class and smoke lmao. but yeah, art! drawing, painting, writing was where I got the biggest compliments ever including in senior year when I modeled an outfit made by recycled trash in a group project (work it bitch)

32: What is your favourite color?

I like black, pink, yellow, orange and maybe red? and like. water green and lilac.

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

that's where I feel like a vulcan instead of human lolololololol, I think it's illogical to think there's someone out there, that, for some odd reason, is a match for me (or vice-versa), that maybe they're waiting for me or something like that. I think most people have different levels of compatibility between them and it all depends on how you go through your differences and misunderstandings. however, as a spock kinnie, my human side does wish there is something illogical and silly like fate somewhere. out there. that maybe I will find someone who will understand my weirdness like I understand theirs. the troy to my abed.

[nanamomi]

✩°｡ ⋆⸜ 🎧 Welcome to my official get-to-know-me page or should I call “rant page” lol. I don’t usually post stuff about my personal life online but maybe you’ll find something strange abt me here :> Take note, some of my posts may or may be not directed at anyone. I will not reveal who I am pointing towards to as this may lead to misunderstanding AGAIN lmao.

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: Here are some random stuff about me :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧

˙˚˙ I was born with a skin tag on my ear. “Wtf is that?” It’s an extra skin that kinda looks like a smol pinky. I was so insecure about it before and decided to hide it behind my hair. Back in elementary, it’s required for u to wear a ponytail or headband😭… It was something that bothers me a LOT so I got it removed at 6th grade as a graduation gift. I waited so long for this moment to happen since I finally had the chance to wear a ponytail without worrying too much

˙˚˙ Are you currently writing a book? Yes! I’ll publish my book after I revise the last chapter. Since ur a special follower, u can get a sneak peak with the title :D I’m still making sum few changes abt it but I already have thought of a draft— “I Am An Introvert So Don’t Mess With Me.” This title kinda sounds a little off but I’ll try working on it. Introverts nowadays are determined to be “weak” cause many of us believe that if you’re alone, you have no role in society. In this book of mine, you’ll explore different experiences I had as an introvert my entire senior year. SHOULD I SELL THEM OR GIVE THEM OUT FOR FREE?? Any thoughts 💭

˙˚˙ What makes a person a “friend?” umm.. I have my own opinion about this. To whoever’s reading this, I hope you don’t get offended in any way. SOOO before I answer this question, let me tell you a story ;-; There’s this one girl who I considered as my friend but I felt like she only saw me as a friend of convenience— which means pretending to be someone’s friend in order to use them for your purposes. She messages me whenever she needs to rant about her so called “Ex” which is one of my friends too. As her “friend,” I mean acquaintance rather… I did what is right— told her to cut him off. After months of being her acquaintance, she suddenly treated me like TRASHHHH. I know she was bullied by sum mean girls during highschool but now she became the mean girl towards me lmaooo.. This generation kinda sucks for me since many people are trying their best just to fit in, no offense. I think you can only consider someone a friend if they’re genuine and consistent.

˙˚˙ Are you having a hard time to start a conversation and make friends? Yeah. I’m not used to be so extrovert-ish ;-; Though I may be a good listener, there are times that I just want to be on my own bubble. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate it when someone tries to approach me, but it just scares that the person I trust the most becomes my enemy. MY TRUST ISSUES are so high to the point that I might break your heart 😭. I don’t want that to happen tho. There are times that I js get scared and want to be careful w my surroundings. I’m so tired of having problems bro 🥲

˚˙ If you’re an introvert, why are you so active when it comes to acads/reporting? OKAY.. so there’s a huge difference between being shy and being an introvert. Most of us are confused between the terms but for me, an introvert can be vocal if they want to. I have two separate lives: school life and personal life. I am a different person when it comes on both sides. There are various types of introverts and I consider myself as a confident one 🤓. Because of continous reading and binge-watching stories, I’ve adapted many personal skills that made me successful in my overall academics. For example, my love for watching MSA videos allowed me to have a skill of public speaking. Personally, I am not a fan of talking in a crowd full of people but because of the inspiring stories, I am here today :DD BUT TO BE HONEST, I still have that anxiety inside of me whenever I try to speak in front 😭. I js know how to look confident, that’s all :’’3

˙˚˙ I get socially drained most of the time. If you notice me not talking, that means I need to recharge. I don’t like initiating conversations with a smol percentage of social battery. I swearrr!! I love meeting new ppl but I hope they don’t mind if I’m inconsistentz

[feuqueerfire]

Minato’s Laundromat Live Blogging

I’ve heard good things and I realized a few years ago that high school senior/way older is fun to read about (the peter/stiles fics on ao3 where i knew nothing about teen wolf and so though stiles was in college till i realized that no lol), so maybe it’ll be fun to watch too

Episode 1 (Oct 10)

Shin is very beautiful

I thought it’d only be in the younger character Shin’s POV but for now it’s in Akira’s

we got to the sponge bath very quickly

okay I guess Shin’s reaction to finding out Akira’s gay is bc now he’s like ‘omg i have a chance’ and doesn’t know how to deal with that while from the outside it def looks like he just ran away in a homophobic manner

girl all this talk about desires lmao

i wish they’d say the words for bro and old guy here so that i could try to hear it

Shin is freaking bold

Episode 2 (Oct 10)

had to read up on japanese suffixes and honorifics because they say a lot here. also think i’m gonna follow along with absolutebl’s watch-along bc i’ll def miss things otherwise bc i’m always lost with these japenese honorifics rip one day i’ll get em!

Shin put Minato as “Akira” on his phone... first name basis in secret lol while Minato just calls him Shin (nickname of firstname)

not only did Minato misunderstand Shin with a girl... he also acted as if he had something to be jealous about alksdjf so embarrassing

lmfao i’m flabbergasted at minato’s audacity and forwardness about liking Minato to his sister

shin intense as hell and a little scary “say ‘i like you, shin’” while holding minato like that

omg minato refuted him by saying “shin-chan” which i have now learned means that minato is emphasizing/teasing about shin being young and ‘lowering his status’

oh, is this the “teacher storyline” everyone’s meh about?

Episode 3 (Oct 11)

Shin’s “we’ll be dating soon” when asked if they’re dating by the classmate reminds me of this week’s The Eclipse ep 9 Ayan

Shin was saved by Minato from drowning as a child?

I think I’ve seen this clip of Shin jealous of his classmate who calls minato Akira-san being close to Minato

we got the talk to minato telling shin no and to stay away but shin really is very forceful and knows what he wants, doesn’t he?

Episode 4 (Oct 11)

I love Shin and his classmate Asuka’s conversations lol

dang Shin strong as hell

the teacher storyline is starting i guess

Episode 5 (Oct 12)

lol this is the bedsheet scene people were mentioning

tbh i don’t have much to say about this show like it’s fine, it’s handling the age gap interestingly, it’s very slice of life, Shin is very beautiful, I’m a little bored. This has been true for all 5 episodes so far

Episode 6 (Oct 12)

i forgot to mention this before but wow this really is so Food As Love Language

please Shin being so intense to the ex-gf like “What did you to do make Minato-san fall for you” because he wants it as future reference

we’re unravelling the ‘we met as children’ plot except only Shin was the child at 7 and Minato was 17 lol

Episode 7 (Oct 13)

i laughed out loud like twice

i enjoyed this ep a fair bit, i think more than the last few but idk what the difference is or what made me like it more

on the reddit on-air threads i’ve seen multiple people say they want to save shin from minato and i kinda don’t get it. it’s not like minato is purposefully cruel to shin and do they want him to just get with a high schooler without consideration? they’re both flawed characters and shin shouldn’t get to date minato just because he wants to? i don’t get it.

Episode 8 (Oct 14)

“The summer I spent with you, it will stay as my precious treasure” awww

oof yeah this is the T.T hurty ep. if i was more invested in the characters (esp shin) i would’ve been devastated but now i can just be like yeah, this was well written and well acted in an objective way but i don’t have much of an emotional connection or reaction to it. also irl minato should’ve let shin down like this monthssss ago

Episode 9 (Oct 14)

Shin’s tryna get Minato and Sakuma-sensei together now? lmfao

i love Asuka and Sakurako’s friendship and conversations lol Asuka tryna give details that’ll make Sakurako give up on Shuu-sensei but her just liking him more instead

Episode 10 (Oct 14)

the end of the teacher subplot

Episode 11 (Oct 17)

went away for the weekend + am now sick, so here’s to finishing this today finally 

Shin is just so unbelievably beautiful

lmfao this whole ep is just Shin having the audacity and it making Minato lose his whole mind

Episode 12 (Oct 17)

Asuka and Shuu-kun’s (interesting particle? maybe?) story feels like the same as Minato and Shin’s so ehh idc

If Shin doesn’t go to the university they toured in Tokyo, this show is getting a 5.5

well lol 5.5 it is

cute ending ig but i wasn’t that invested rip

I am who I am meaning my fave character is Sakurako, Shin’s younger sister, who is soo cute, a little doll. Also, Shin’s actor has suchhhh a beautiful face :0

I wish I felt more for this but I don’t. My comment from ep 5 is still true at the end “tbh i don’t have much to say about this show like it’s fine, it’s handling the age gap interestingly, it’s very slice of life, Shin is very beautiful, I’m a little bored.” I’m not even invested enough to feel anything about the characters’ actions even though I feel like I should have loads of thoughts. I think I get bored with longer Japanese shows, the next few will be movies, so maybe I’ll like them more?

Rating: 5.5/10

Tiktoks

Shin asking asuka about his relationship with Minato

Minato’s ex (+ Shin’s interactions w her)

bold Asuka

“I can’t date you”

Ep 12 beach scene 

[kiwinatorwaffles]

everybody’s powers in the hero au

how could i make a superhero au without thinking of awesome powers for every character involved? exactly!

take this combined effort from me and my friends to come up with hilarious and interesting powers from both the main and side characters <3 full post under cut!

update- may 26, 2022: i have an updated version! it's much more elaborate and is in the style of an archive document, so check that out in this post!

WARNING: MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS

x: void portals. he can open them in space and they transport either himself or other people/things out of another one. strong on his own, but even better as a support power (which you’ll see with ex)

ex: none. but he knows martial arts and has weapons that he will use without hesitation. works tremendously well when paired with x.

wels: basically has the power of Cool Sword. he can summon different weapons (think erza from fairy tail, if you know what that is) which are strengthened by his spirit, but only if he sings out their names. he’s incredibly good at singing because of this!

hels: he just sets his own sword on fire basically and he’s jealous of wels’ power

boatem incorporated

grian: used to just be an alien bird with crazy batshit insane powers, but flew into a waffle house and got bitten by a radioactive human (jevin). now he can also turn into a human! he can breathe fire and has super strength, but he only has those powers in his bird form.

pearl: same species of alien bird as grian (they are lost siblings) except she Got Good and learned how to maintain a human form and use her powers. she can shoot lasers out of her eyes, fly, and has super strength.

scar: cartoon logic! he can defy gravity, but only if he doesn’t look down. he can summon a comically large hammer out of nowhere. he can summon banana peels to trip his enemies. all he needs to do is put on a hat and a silly mask and suddenly he’s mr. goodtimes and nobody recognizes him! but he has a weakness to pianos and anvils.

mumbo: a robot! basically becomes vision if connected to wifi, but his power depends on the ping. give him shitty wifi and he moves at 5fps. he can go offline mode, but will have no powers outside of limb stretching in this state.

impulse: candy summoning! as long as the candy meets the two requirements of having sugar and being unhealthy, he can summon it. the only nerf is that he needs to carry sugar on him at all times, which has led to quite a few misunderstandings.

big eyes crew

keralis: mind control. pretty fucking overpowered. but he often accidentally ends up using it in times that he doesn’t intend (however he does it to tango on purpose while playing it off as an accident)

bdubs: he is Literally just a glare. he hisses in the dark. he bites.

tango: his hair can turn into fire… but that’s about it? it can roast marshmallows, but it can’t really burn anything. he’s mainly used as a human torch and is the getaway driver LMAO

lulu: big eyes crew’s shitty getaway car. she looks like she’ll break down at a gust of wind, but she can go up to incredible speeds. she can also fly.

ungrouped

zed: none. he was an inventor before the whole hero thing, but joined the heroes league for his little brother as a part of the mechanical division :]

worm man: being… a worm LMAO he has the ability to go through floors and “swim” in them like water.

cub: he’s just a random alien they let be the front counter guy. his powers are currently unknown.

gem: she controls your math grade. so pay attention to her class or else.

other side characters

doc: psychokinesis- can control things with his mind. easily one of the strongest heroes, but his lack of morals and daydrinking tendencies make him very risky to deploy. he’s only called over for emergency situations.

ren: bloodbending. his power increases with the moon phases. also can make really good coffee

etho: literally a magical girl, with transformation and a magical girl outfit and everything. he has the power of anime logic, where if he has friendship, he instantly wins. also bdubs is his “animal” companion

tfc: minecraft logic. he can float blocks and do all kinds of batshit insane things. he’s retired, though.

cleo: she’s a zombie so she can easily regenerate in a strange way! she’s not a hero, but if anyone ever needed her for a situation, then she’s more than happy to help.

stress: flower power baby!!! grows lots of cool plants as combat.

that’s all i have for now! i’ll probably add more if i think of any.

[polyghostfacehours]

HOW DO YOU THINK REVERSE POLY!GHOSTFACE WOULD BE IN A RELATIONSHIP COMPARED TO THE BOYS 🤔

GOD YES. Took my time on this one because I wanted to really knock this out of the park, and also needed to get the outline for my part 2 of Bex's fic done so that it stayed consistent with my interpretation of this. I had so much fun doing this S1mp!

Love Ghostface!Sidney and Ghostface!Tatum

TW: some mild NSFW lines.

---

A Relationship with Reverse!poly!Ghostface:

Communication is significantly better with Sid and Tate compared to Billy and Stu. Neither girl is emotionally stunted like Billy. They're both extremely close and always make their feelings apparent to one another and you, so misunderstandings seldom happen.

Tatum will love, love, love shit talking other people behind their backs, and you'd be expected to participate, or at the very least listen. Don't act like you're above it or she'll get bitchy at you. "Like what murder is okay but smack talk isn't? Lmao okay bitch 🙄"

Tate never shit talks people she actually likes though. She isn't fake like that. So you won't have to ever worry about her talking bad about you or Sid.

Sidney is as smart and resilient as her OG counterpart. She's headstrong and isn't ever sloppy or unnecessarily brutal with her kills. There won't be any hanging people from trees or anything here.

Unlike Billy, she's willing to keep her and Tate's "hobby" completely separate from you if you so please.

If you get too chummy with Billy or Stu? You get the silent treatment from them. Sidney hates Billy with all her heart and seeing you just smile at him is enough to make her blood boil. And Tate just doesn't like you getting friendly with her ex that she's planning to kill.

Honestly though, Sidney and Tatum are actually much less possessive of their S/O than Billy and Stu are. They really only get like this when it specifically pertains to Billy and Stu, due to their respective histories with them.

Sidney and Tatum are very confident in themselves and secure in their relationship. They feel comfortable in knowing you won't ever stray from them.

Shopping trips are a must. Both girls, but especially Tatum, love going to the mall and hanging out there for the day.

Movie nights aren't as big of a thing with them as Billy and Stu, but they still happen, and you'll seldom watch horror because Sidney hates horror movies.

Killing is a very personal thing to Sidney and the slasher genre as a whole makes her scoff. She finds them too unrealistic and insulting to her intelligence.

Tatum will indulge in a horror movie with you if you want to though. She doesn't mind them at all.

It takes Sidney a much longer time to be comfortable getting sexual with you. Tate jumps right into it, but Sidney wants it to be special. So for awhile, it'll mainly be you and Tate in bed.

Out of all four of them, Sidney is the one who is most different when it comes to her public persona and her true private self. In public, she's the girl-next-door: sweet and kind, if maybe a little bland like in the OG Scream. In private, she's sharp, forward, and confident, think Scream 2/3 Sidney.

Tatum, like Stu, doesn't act much different in private than in public. While Stu does hide his more serious, intelligent side and only lets it out when with you and Billy, Tatum really wears her heart on her sleeve. She never hides who she is. Only what she is capable of.

Neither are super big on PDA unless you initiate it. Tatum will gladly sit in your lap or have you sit on hers though and she's more than fine with kissing and making out if you want to. Sidney is okay with hand holding and leaning against each other. But other than that, they are much more reserved in public.

Tatum doesn't have much of a bloodlust really. She only kills because it makes Sidney happy, and she's ride-or-die.

Sidney, however, loves to kill. But more than killing itself, she loves seeing those who wronged her hurt when they have a loved one pass away. In a way, she's the cruelest of them all. Because while Billy and Stu will kill people who wrong them, she'll target the loved ones of them instead, making them suffer and live through someone's death. It's her greatest joy.

Sidney doesn't have much of a blood kink, but Tate thinks it's super sexy to see you or Sid covered in blood. She'll definitely want to lick it up off your body like a lollipop.

Speaking of that, Tatum has a huge oral fixation. If you put anything in your mouth or bite/lick your lips, it gets her hot and bothered. You'll find yourself under her in a minute if you keep it up in front of her.

Both Sidney and Tate are switches in bed. They'll accommodate whatever role you want in that regard. But Tatum will looooove if you let her be a pillow princess.

Sidney and Tatum succeed in their plan, and this is because they are much more cautious and much less emotional. Sidney doesn't let excitement ruin her plan, and is as cool as a cucumber. She's excellent at quelling her nerves during a kill, and never hesitates. And Tate doesn't wig the fuck out like Stu does.

Tatum loves loves loves choosing your clothes if you let her. If you wear make-up, she will jump at the chance to do it for you. And spa days? Yes please.

During these moments, Sidney watches with a small smile on her face at the two of you interacting. It warms her heart. She might not have her mother anymore, but she has her dad and you two. And to her, that's more than enough.

Expect Dewey to be a big part of your lives. Tatum may be a ruthless murderer here, but she still loves her brother. Sidney encourages all three of you being close to Dewey. Having a cop right under your thumb, telling you where police are patrolling or how fast responses are is a huge asset to their hobby.

[fockinastro]

astro observations pt. 3

a/n: if u believe i took your comment/observation without credit, please reach out and let me know! i have no problem including you in my post (or taking it down if u ask :))

these observations are a lil wordy so sorry about that

i’ve got a nice theory/question/discussion for anyone open to talking about it :)

i’ve noticed that cancer placements tend to rlly like anime and i honestly think it’s because anime girls typically have this soft girl vibe and they may be rlly into that

gemini & scorpio placements together tend to be very curious and good at solving that curiosity

for example: they could wonder (gemini) why someone does something and be able to use their detective skills (scorpio) to find out what they want to know

moon in 4th overlays tend to create a long-lasting crush or that may create feelings of always having a soft spot for that person

similar to my last post, i think cardinal signs in angular houses are very good at achieving or going after what they want in those major life aspects meanwhile fixed signs in angular houses may be a little more fixated and expect certain life stages to go as planned and may not budge or give up when something doesn’t go as planned

these imo are interesting to see play out when different signs fall into different house types (angular, succedent & cadent)

for example: having cardinal signs in succedent houses can manifest as a person always trying to obtain or taking the initiative to go after themes of the houses

example example: capricorn in 2nd can show someone always working to achieve or taking the initiative to obtain monetary, material or inner needs, etc.

water signs in the 2nd house has a tendency to hoard things because it has ‘sentimental value’

having virgo, libra & scorpio influence in your personal planets is so powerful because historically, virgo & scorpio used to be one sign and represented the duality of humanity: feminine & masculine energy meshed together. libra then was placed between the two when they became separated as a bridge to marry to the two energies--if you look at the glyphs of virgo & scorpio, they are very similar but virgo is supposed to represent the feminine genitalia and scorpio represents the masculine genitalia

credits go to novembr-11th on tumblr because i read a post about this and thought it was super interesting! especially since it’s been circulating (not sure if it’s confirmed?) that virgo/scorpio used to be one sign that split into two

lmao bUT anyways, my point is that having these three energies in your personal planets (especially) makes one that’s very ‘whole’ if that makes sense lmao

personally, 7th & 8th house synastry isn’t always all that

i have these placements with someone and we do not mesh well 😐 but 8th house can also represent enemies so idk

sun in the fifth individuals tend to be very creative and have a powerful & sure way of expressing themselves

you tend to be attracted to those that have your moon sign as their sun sign and i honestly think this goes to the perspective of the moon person having this soft spot for the sun person because they express themselves in the way the moon person wishes they do or they’re inspired by the sun person because they admire the way the sun person express themselves (that the moon person may not be able to)

although it’s important to look at very aspect of astrology to understand it, i think beginners have a tendency to look at the signs rather than houses because it’s easier to understand but i implore those learning to study houses first before planets--idk it just seems easier because you’re learning houses & the signs in one go (kinda anyways lmao)--this isn’t even an observation lmao oop

the rising is honestly way more important than people think--i used to be guilty of this and disregard my rising until i rlly looked into it

mars in fire signs tend to be rlly selfish in bed and can be pretty similar to each other

sag mars rlly like to have their pleasure before their partners

leo mars like to have the attention on them

aries mars tend to do things fast--to get themselves off

scorpio & virgo mercuries tend to have this monotone (not rlly--it’s just dry if that makes sense lmao) way of speaking--like there may be a lack of emotions because they can be logical (virgo) and sarcastic (scorpio) that people may not pick up on that if they’re joking or whatnot

tbh capricorn (degrees especially) & aquarius influence can do this too 

interceptions can show what you lack (obviously)/misunderstand or what you may attract imo

pretty sure i literally said this in one of my previous posts but 🤷‍♀️

i remember an astrologer said that a theory of theirs is that your sun sign’s degree can show something important that has happened/will happen to you when you become that age

for example: an ex friend of mine has a taurus sun in 4 degrees and he was involved in a car accident where his father and brother died when he was 4 years old

an astrologer mentioned that the planet with the highest degree is the planet that is considered something you need to learn to do in your life

example: my best friend has trouble with communication and her mercury has the highest degree of all her other planets--she’s been doing really well though and learning to communicate better :)

i see a lot of astrologers frequently cover 0 & 29 degrees but usually not a lot of critical degrees such as 0,13 & 26 for cardinal signs, 8-9 & 21-22 for fixed signs and 4 & 17 for mutable signs

it’s assumed that it has a potent effect on that planet (or whatever i’m not quite sure because i don’t see it being spoken about in detail) but my assumption is that it maybe a focus in your life or more power is added to that

example: i have 4 degrees sag venus so i’m going to assume that there’s something going on there with my love life but tbh idrk 🤷‍♀️ pls educate me--i’d love to hear more about it and how it manifests

tbh major asteroids are so important to understand imo

i know some astrologers don’t gaf about them but i think they can be rlly important & definitely play a major role in someone’s personality & chart like pls don’t underestimate asteroids and their energies

i remember an astrologer stated that having a leo part of fortune is an indicator that it’s fated for you to become famous (or something along those lines)

dominant houses are important to your identity meanwhile stelliums may also be important to your identity but i personally think they carry lessons to be learned but idk this topic is very different per astrologer (this is just my personal take on it)

*just a theory and definitely open to discussion and idk if anyone else has spoken about this but do any astrologers here think that 3rd & 11th house can represent crushes as well--more like fast crushes vs longer crushes? since 3rd & 11th house can equate to your community while 4th is childhood--do you kinda see where i’m getting this from? lmao

i think it won’t manifest like 5th or 7th or 8th romance--it would be more likely to manifest as a person you had a crush on for like two weeks if that makes sense? i’d love to hear your thoughts :)

that’s everything i have for now :)

[lululawrence]

lululawrence’s May 2021 Fic List

Previous Fic Lists / Fic List Podcast Masterpost

May somehow managed to escape my grasp and here we are again! I got a weekend away from the kids this month, which allowed me the chance to finally read for hours on end, and I therefore have quite a few fics to talk about! They were truly amazing, I loved every single one, and I hope you appreciate them too!

If you’d like to hear me share my excitement about these fics verbally and in more detail, you can listen to this month’s podcast here.

As always, be sure to show your love and appreciation for all of the hard work our fandom authors have put into their fics with kudos, nice comments, and (when applicable) reblogging their fic posts!

Just for Tonight (I can be yours) by @sadaveniren / SadaVeniren (42k, E, Harry/Louis, Big Bang fic, A/B/O, Royalty AU, Alpha Louis, Omega Harry, Innocent Harry, Sheltered Harry, Arranged Marriage, Friends to Lovers, Angst with a Happy Ending, but HOW DO THEY GET THERE?? lol, Mpreg, Heat/Rut, Poor as shit sex education lmao, Okay but for real the world building in this was incredible, I can still see the pictures in my mind that I conjured up for certain parts of this fic, It is incredible and the PINING AND ANGST OMG)

reckless serenade by @thepolourryexpress /  thepolourryexpress (4k, E, Harry/Louis, Girl Direction, This one is a bit hard to explain lmao, ....Non-Established Relationship.... relationship, it makes sense in the fic lol, clueless idiots in love, there we go, friends to lovers, humor, fluff, This is beyond sweet and fucking sexy)

a little tenderness by @disgruntledkittenface / disgruntledkittenface (11k, NR, Harry/Niall, 1D A/B/O Fest fic, Alpha Harry, Omega Niall, Touch Deprivation, Nesting, Cuddling, Scenting, Ace Harry, Fluff, Okay listen this fic was so fucking soft I cannot express to you, It was HEALING, I cryyyyyy it was just so beautiful)

What if I'm someone you won't talk about? by @louloubabys1992 / louloubaby92 (58k, M, Harry/Louis, Fine Line Fest fic, Song Fic, Based on Falling, Famous/Non-Famous, Childhood Sweethearts, Exes to Lovers, Kind of but not really at the same time?, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending but there’s fucking angst okay? lol, Hurt/Comfort, Sex Work, Exploitation, References to Rape, PTSD, There’s a lot of dark shit in here, please please please read the tags and keep yourself safe, But if you can handle it then fuck it was an fascinating story for sure!)

When Least Expected by @all-these-larrythings / Rearviewdreamer (22k, M, Harry/Louis, Quarantine Fic, Single Parent Louis, Teacher Harry, Mentions of Depression, Online Dating? Kind of?, Maybe it’s more like Long Distance dating, except they’re in the same city, anyway, Pining, Flirting, Oblivious boys, Soft, This fic was the epitome of soft, It was so incredibly healing to read it, So cathartic and beautiful and lovely, It just made me so happy and at peace reading this fic, and I really didn’t expect that from a quarantine fic tbh)

so c'mon c'mon (and dance with me baby) by @rockstarlouis / theweightofmywords (3k, NR, Harry/Louis, New Year’s Fic, Meet Cute, Louke are together at the beginning but it doesn’t last long, Work Party, but neither Louis or Harry work there lololol, Humor, Drinking, Dancing, This fic was just so short and sweet and fun I loved it)

Pound Cake by @kingsofeverything / kingsofeverything (2k, NR, Harry/Louis, Butthole Series fic, Hurt Louis, Sad Louis, Harry’s birthday, Friends to Lovers, Crack fic lmao, Misunderstandings, This fic was so funny but also somehow sweet, while still being about buttholes, Lauren is a magician what can I say lol)

Get Burned By the Fire by Anonymous (13k, NR, Shawn/Niall, Heartbreak Weather Fest fic, Song Fic, based on Small Talk, Bartender Niall, Mysterious Shawn, Casual Sex, I think that’s how you’d define their arrangement? lol, Pining, Harry and Louis are together and Niall’s besties and coworkers, They’re hilarious through all of this, Even though it’s casual sex or meant to be anyway, It defo is also like... a Breakup Fic, and also Exes to Lovers, Supernatural Elements, It’s all complicated and sooooo fucking gooooood)

The Shooting Star Of Promises And Fears by darkpoets (2k, NR, Harry/Louis, Soulmates, Wishes, This fic is incredibly hard to explain or describe, because the style and feel of it is incredibly unique, It feels almost floaty while you read it, if that makes sense)

Getting a Room by bluespring864 (2k, G, Lewis/Niall, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Idiots in Love, Banter, Listen this fic is short but packed to the brim with feels, omgggggg SO MANY FEELS, and so so lovely the way it comes together, but also hilarious too?, it’s just very THEM, I could also hear all the lines Lewis says in this fic in his accent, I heard his voice speaking them in my head, and I was trying so hard not to laugh out loud as I sat reading, surrounded by strangers lmao, It was so awkward but worth it)

Caves End by @jacaranda-bloom / jacaranda_bloom (40k, E, Harry/Louis, Big Bang fic, Famous/Non-Famous, Farmer Louis, Rancher Louis is maybe better?, I’ll put both cause Dee said farmer lmao, Footballer Harry, Australia fic, Horseback Riding, Angst, Miscommunication, Dee’s tags about that are hilarious please read them, Hurt/Comfort, This fic is just EVERYTHING, okay, It was so incredibly good)

and all I think about is you and safer by your side (parts 4 and 5 of where the lights are beautiful) by @polkadotlou / twoshipsdrifting (1k each, T, Harry/Louis, Alternate Universe, A/B/O, Alpha Harry, Omega Louis, Established Relationship, Mentions of Heat, Drabbles, Listen this whole series is amazing, and if you haven’t read it then these drabbles won’t have the same power they do otherwise, but they are SO DAMN GOOD OKAY)

Counterculture by @sadaveniren / SadaVeniren (6k, E, Harry/Louis, Omega Harry Fest, A/B/O, Omega Harry, Alpha Louis, Famous/Non-Famous, Underground Clubs, Pack Dynamics, Scenting, Public Sex, Orgies, Pregnancy and Lactation Kink, Like... this fic is FILTHY while still having super cool worldbuilding elements in it, and it’s kinky as shit cause Sada, In other words this is fantastic)

Say Something by @kingsofeverything / kingsofeverything (105k, E, Harry/Louis, Alternate Universe, A/B/O, Alpha Louis, Omega Harry, Older Harry, Age Difference, Heat/Rut Partners, Friends to Lovers, Kind of?, It’s Complicated lol, MPreg, Divorced Harry, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Harry has a lot of shit to work through, It all works out and it’s so fucking good)

The Until Series by @allwaswell16 / allwaswell16 (62k total, Harry/Louis (parts 1 and 3), Niall/Shawn (Part 2), Big Bang fic and Heartbreak Weather Fest fic, Song Fic, Seriously the whole albums is basically the inspiration lol, Cowboy Harry, Child Actor Harry, Cowboy Shawn, Songwriter Louis, Singer Niall, Farm Fic, Enemies to Lovers, Misunderstanding, So good just all of it, Dumb boys in love lol)

That Smile and That Midnight Laugh by @uhoh-but-yeah-alright / yeah_alright (50k, T, Harry/Louis, but also Harry/Nick at the beginning, Big Bang fic, Girl Direction, Based on Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, It’s like an extension and starts where the movie ended, So cool in that way I loved it, Grimmy and Louis are step-siblings, Friends to Lovers, No Cheating if that’s a concern, Sexuality Crisis but it’s more of like a Gay Awakening, Coming of Age story in that way, So freaking soft like omg, I just really freaking loved this fic)

[bujorulgalben]

✿ :)

UH OH!!!

basic relation notes / accepting! (some will be more developed than others!!)  “send me a  ✿  and i’ll fill out the template below. bold for things i could definitely see or want, italics for things i could see or am unsure of and striked out for things i don’t want or cannot see.”

FRIENDSHIP.    

childhood friends  /  work buddies or coworkers  /  family friends  /  friends with benefits  / smoking buddies  /  adventure buddies  / fake friends  /  recently friends /  party buddies  / friendship of need  /  dying friendship (lol)  /  circumstantial friendship /  partners in crime  / old friendship  / [ your muse ] is the good influence  / [ your muse ] is the bad influence  / [ my muse ] is the good influence  / [ my muse ] is the bad influence  /  opposites attract  /  ride or die  /  frenemies (on a good day lmao)  /  roommates or flatmates  /  penpals (they absolutely were.)  / exes to friends  /  enemies to friends  /  other .

ROMANCE.    

childhood sweethearts  / [ your muse is mines ] childhood crush (two hundred odd years ago, maybe. she’d claim to be very sick.) / [ my muse is yours ] childhood crush  /  exes  /  exes to lovers  /  forbidden lovers  /  highschool sweethearts  /  secret relationship  /  opposites attract  /  long distance  /  unrequited [ from your muses side ] /  unrequited [ from my muses side ] /  unrequited [ from both sides ] /  skinny love  /  friends to lovers  / enemies to lovers  /  spurious relationship  /  power couple  /  newly entered  /  soulmates [ metaphorical ] /  soulmates  [ literal ] /  awkward  /  turning toxic  /  toxic love  /  cheating [ on your muse ] /  cheating [ with your muse ] /  other .

FAMILIAL.    

siblings [ half ] /  siblings [ step ] / [ my muse ] is an older sibling figure to your younger sibling figure(!!)  / [ my muse ] [was] a younger sibling figure to your older sibling figure muse (oh man oh man)  / [ my muse ] is a parental figure to yours  / [ my muse ] is a child figure to your muse  /  guardian figure  /  legal guardian  /  adoptive child  /  foster child  / [ your muse ] is taken under mines wing  / [ my muse ] [was] taken under yours wing (my hands are shaking wait for me to finish this)  /  other .

ANTAGONISTIC. (hang onto something boys and girls)

dangerous to each other  /  dangerous to others  /  unpredictable (lol)  /  rivals  /  petty (hugely)  /  developing into sexual or romantic tension  /  based off family matters  /  based of off circumstance  /  based of professional matters  /  based off misunderstanding or lies  /  conflict of ideology  /  betrayal (well, if you ask anica)  /  hero - villain dynamic (a very warped sense from anica, again) /  enemies  /  fight club  / friends turned enemies  /  lovers turned enemies  /  exes turned enemies  /  other .

hee hee hoo i have many thoughts about this too:

just in case someone not in the know is reading this, allow me to stress that anica’s animosity towards dmitriy here dominated the tone between the two of them nearly two hundred years ago; it’s nothing new. that being said, history dictated this reading and while i won’t be naming any conflicts, there will be hints to certain events.

namely, how anica read a wedge being driven between her and her brother by russian influence, and how her blood ticked well over boiling point. asides already being fiercely coddling and protective of her little brother, she also read this as a betrayal, a twist of the knife. that’s what makes it sting even more. that’s what keeps her snarling and spitting and quick to blame all of her life’s grievances on dmitriy; way too readily. think of that comic of a kid on his bike then shoving a twig into the spokes. that’s anica.

anica would love for you to forget how greatly she admired dmitriy at one point. she held him in very, very high esteem indeed as a brother in the faith; even if now she sticks up her nose in saying how his salvation is now only debatable. she looked to him with starry eyes, as a far-off savior from a closer foe. for three hundred years, things were fine! good, even, sometimes! but she made the wrong call, and that makes her angrier. these wounds are the freshest of the bunch. i don’t think anica kept the letters she wrote to, and got from dmitriy. that would hurt even more.

and that wrong call won’t leave her alone. between her and her brother, rivalling once for attention from her french cousin, anica will illustrate this all as a great burden. when she is just a whining little gnat. indeed, the intensity and passion of this hatred is, for the most part, immensely one-sided. their bouts of cooperation after her independence were always begrudging; she made an effort to not look him in the eye. when she does, it’s because she takes the bait from his goading and yaps back at him. no, anica, you’re not above that, not really.

yeah! i read these two as incredibly bitter-sweet! the romanticising of misplaced trust drives anica’s narrative! the only times the ice is broken between these two and the frosty air is warmed are from their heated, cruel spats!