#giving these watered-down versions is so fucking disrespectful

[mikeysbabygirl]

Everybody portrays this man as a virgin loser bark bark ouaf ouaf who's just so nice and so shy, and I like it ! Don't get me wrong, he's such a sunshine.

But I'm thinking about this version of him, the dark one we saw after Manjiro's death (💔) and I probably shouldn't but man...

This is NSFW short draft so don't say you weren't warned. Word count : around 1000

Well for me, at least, this man is a menace.

He was such a sweetheart to you, before everything that happened. He couldn't even believe someone finally agreed dating him, moreover, you, none of his friends believed him when he told them about you two because "she's way outta your league", but it doesn't matter because at the end of the exhausting day at S&S motors, he would come to your place, hold your body closer, and sleep in your bed.

Now it was all water under burned down bridges, now he barely talks to you when you occasionally visit to make sure he's eating at least a decent amount. You don't blame him, after the traumatic events he's been through, you rather alternate between being there for him and giving him enough space.

Lately he's been taking a lot of space... and well you just wanted to know how he was doing, it precisely is what brought you to his place, what got you standing in front of Shinichiro sitting on his couch.

-" Gotta smoke " Wakasa lies, wanting to leave you both alone. He gets up from where he was sitting on the armchair and as he walks by you, his hand reaches to rub your waist in a comforting move. You both miss the blaze flickering on Shinichiro's deep abyssal hues.

-" Careful, he's not... " Wakasa whispers, almost a soft gaze on you as you give him a knowing smile.

Alone in the living room with him now, you dive deep in his dark ocean of eyes. He has never stared at you with such an empty glare, both arms resting behind the sofa, legs parted, weary expressionless face, and you anxiously playing with your fingers in front of him.

-" I just came to check on you" you announce, you finally dare to raise your head only to be met by yet another empty glance. " And to see if you needed anything from me".

-" Do I look like I need anything from you ?"

You swallow it, you've grown used to this dryness anyway.

-" No but..."

-" So ? Why the fuck you here for ? " He insists, his stern tone kind of intimidates you, he can see it, he wishes he could feel the slightest guilt... But along with the destructive thoughts colonizing his mind lately, the last straw and last thing he needed was seeing Wakasa's hand on you. He wanted to hurt you...

-" Shin I just wanted to kno-"

-" You just wanted Waka's cock. And I wasn't in need to see that. "

Well you tried at least not to take it personal, but your nerves are also easy to get at.

-" I'm sorry about everything that happened, okay ?" You finally dare raising your voice, though he doesn't seem the least impressed. " I'm sorry that I did not yet found a way to help you, Shin. I'm sorry I can't seem to be a good of a girlfriend. "

His foggy eyes drink in your shame whilst you get closer to his sitting form, standing right above him.

-" But... You don't get to talk to me this way. "

Nothing, not even the slow lift of his eyebrow could've prepared you...

-" You deserve better than all of this shit, but so do I. And I'm not just gonna sit here and let you disrespect me. I'm out."

It could have been a beautiful, dramatic moment, the rebellion of a woman in all its glory.

Yet Shinichiro's ticking bomb of nerves exploded right there and then, a strong, deadly firm grip is tightening around your fist, and with a gasp from you pulls you straight up into his lap.

You're frozen, because as much as he was so dry toward you lately, he didn't touched an inch of your skin. Deep inside, Shin wanted you to keep the memory of his old gentle touches instead, but oh well, you played first.

And you gulp down, as his hands come to squeeze your hips tightly, adjusting your body his left thigh.

-" Y'know what ?"

You're not sure if it is his face getting closer to yours, his fragrance mixed with the smell of smoke, or just his magnificently cursed aura, dark hair and eyes swallowing you like a black hole. But something about the way he looks at you tells you...

-" I think there's indeed something you can help me with..."

And the way his voice drops, becomes a growling whisper tells you...

-" Oh ? " You nervously scoff, a coping mechanism, probably, never had he been so... Creepy. " And what is it ?"

Shinichiro's hands sliding under your shirt, rubbing your bare skin up and down tells you...

-" Fuck yourself on my thigh".

To run.

-" You ain't fucking serious, are you ?" You raise an eyebrow, and immediately lower your tone in front of his unimpressed expression. " That's so toxic, Shin. We need to talk your issues th-"

The sudden thrust of his knee against your clothed clit, however, leaves to place to talk. Your eyes widen, he tightens his grip around your waist.

-" so we're not running the cute mouth anymore, huh ?" He scoffs, and you think, it's not your boyfriend in front of you. " you said it. You wanted it. "

And suddenly, his thigh won't stop meeting your clit, again, and again, stealing the breath from you and you're forced to hold on his broad shoulders. It is wrong, so wrong... But it has been so long since you've been showered with his touch, the drought left you as thirsty as to drink the poison he was spilling.

-" You wanted to help me. And I'm asking you, ride my thigh like you mean it. Like the fucking gorgeous slut you are. "

It felt like, his degrading words left by the window, while the need of him came by the front door. He saw your walls of seriousness stumbling down, saw your cheeks heating, your eyes beginning to roll back in your head, and he thinks that's crap because he really missed you.

-" yeah, that's it... " He groans in your ear, feeling the way you begin insidiously grinding against his thigh. " Fuck yourself on me, might just wanna take this pussy next"

And along with the twisted thoughts living in his mind right now, a smirk creeps up on his lips, hearing the ecstatic sounds breaking through the barriers of your mouth.

A rather forceful, abrupt thrust of his thigh, coming with a sudden hand pulling your hair back got you releasing a higher-pitched sound between a moan and a gasp, Shinichiro brushes your lips with his, making you face him.

-" and you're gonna make him hear. " You don't quickly understand he talks about Wakasa. Smoking somewhere in the kitchen or whatever. " Make him hear how loud I can make my bitch scream, before I'm pulling them from you by ruining this puss' , yeah ?"

At some point, you're even way too far gone to think about what he is saying. The only thing on your mind being your near orgasm, as his thigh relentlessly abuses your clit. Shinichiro suddenly pulls your face closer, fingers intertwining in your hair seeing the damp spot you're leaving on his pants.

-" That's it... That's what 'm talking about... See how good of a girlfriend you are for me ?"

I know I'm supposed to be revising BUT I COULD NOT STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS HELP. I'm probably just good for horny jail ( only for these manga boys tho)

Also it's not proof head so if you see a weird word just close your eyes on it lol

[sixx-writes]

                                                                 _observing

Kurotsuchi Mayuri x Reader

Word Count: 4,143

cw: slight dubcon, biting, choking, voyeurism, bruising, rough sex, insults, bruises

AO3 Version | Masterlist

Summary: You become infatuated with your captain and it seems that he knows about it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Other Works In This Series: experimenting | experimenting alt ver.

18+  ONLY NSFW BELOW THE CUT

When you'd first joined the 12th squad it was because you had taken a keen interest in it's eccentric captain. You weren't sure why his strange antics had drawn you in so easily like a moth to the proverbial flame but you had made up your mind somewhere along the way that you needed to be closer to him. Kurotsuchi Mayuri was aloof and cruel most of the time towards you and many of your squad mates and that should have deterred you from where your path was inevitably headed.

It should have painted a very clear picture that you shouldn't take such an interest in someone with so little regard for others. However, what had first started as a curiosity of yours developed into something more. It was a tired but familiar story of wanting what you couldn't have which led to you developing more of a sickening secret infatuation with Mayuri the more he showed zero interest in you. You were just meat; there to complete tasks around the lab as needed so you found yourself buried in your work most of the time.

What was worse was how little you saw of him as time went on.

Mayuri was a very busy man as well as yourself and sometimes you would go for as long as a week without so much as a glimpse of him outside of his personal laboratory where you were forbidden to enter. It was funny in a way how many soul reapers went to great lengths to avoid Mayuri yet you couldn't seem to find yourself in his orbit more than a few minutes whenever he happened to be around.

In short, you were frustrated.

You were frustrated at your own frustration because you didn't even know what it was you wanted.

You didn't know until your hand found it's way into your panties one sleepless night of many and your mind wandered through a plethora of lecherous scenarios involving Mayuri, your subconscious giving you the answer at last. Shock ran like ice water down your spine at the revelation of just how fucked up you'd became. It was disrespectful to touch yourself like that imagining it was his slender fingers slipping between your puffy dampened folds instead of your own.

Even that made you feel overheated wondering just how Mayuri would discipline you for such behavior if he knew how you really felt about him.

You could picture his sneer perfectly as he degraded you for such absurd notions as one image melded into the next, Mayuri having his fist in your hair pulling it painfully hard from behind as he fucked you up the wall, not caring who heard your screams.

"..Mayuri..ah..."

You couldn't fully stop the small desperate pleas of his name interspersed with your mewls of enjoyment as you came clenching around your thrusting fingers.

You fell asleep drenched in your shame knowing you'd do the same thing the next night and the night after.

                                                          o0o

After nearly five months of being a member of squad 12 you were allowed entry to more sensitive areas. Those sensitive areas being where Mayuri frequented most.

In fact you found yourself on duty for Mayuri's personal requests quite often bringing him various implements from around the lab directly. Somehow you managed to keep a professional air in his presence without blushing like an idiot any time his hand accidentally brushed yours when you handed him something. Another more troubling habit of his that you discovered fairly quickly was his lack of care for personal space when he visited you at your lab.

Now that you were allowed to work in the restricted area your workstation had moved as well and that had resulted in Mayuri coming to look over your shoulder to examine your notes making comments on what was and wasn't viable in your current hypothesis.You barely even heard him with the way he practically draped himself around you so close you could feel his body heat radiating through his clothes. It led to him being annoyed on more than one occasion, tapping at the paper and demanding if you were listening.

Mayuri smelled of chemicals and spicy undertones that you committed to memory for later use.

However, it just wasn't enough.

It should have been, you got to see him almost every day now, but you were getting greedy.

In turn it made you foolish and it led to you fucking up after only two and a half weeks of getting your promotion.

It was like any other day when Mayuri came to see what you were working on; your current assignment was something about exploding gigais that turned the users own spiritual pressure into a destructive force and their practical use in the event of a soul reaper turning traitor. You didn't really see the point in it other than Mayuri just liked blowing shit up and needed more creative ways of doing it.

You were painfully aware of how you and he were the only ones around, not even Nemu was present at his side as she usually was, so you accidentally leaned into him when he was leaning over you craving any extra contact with him you could get, enjoying the odd scent of him. It was supposed to be a subtle gesture that he wouldn't notice, but then you remembered, this was Kurotsuchi Mayuri and very little escaped his attention.

"What are you doing?" he asked, his voice dangerously soft in that way that made it difficult to gauge his emotions.

You jerked away from him as if you'd been electrified, your cheeks red hot. Mayuri was watching you sidelong as you gaped at him like a fish unable to answer, all the oxygen in your brain and lungs having evaporated in shock.

"N-Nothing, sir. I'm just a little tired is all. I'm not s-sleeping well," you trailed off when your answer made you even more embarrassed knowing the root cause behind your insomnia. You couldn't stop your stupid fucking nervous habit of toying with a strand of your hair under this much stress even though you hadn't done it in years.

He continued to stare for an uncomfortable period of time until you were screaming internally for him to speak or something and then he was gone without saying a word, his haori billowing behind him elegantly.

You wanted to sink into yourself and disappear.

What the hell was that reaction?

You didn't see Mayuri again that day and it left your brain to fester in over-analysis mode that night after you'd fingered yourself a couple of times to orgasm imagining a completely different ending to your encounter with involved you being bent over your desk and begging for mercy.

You were mentally and physically exhausted the next morning so much so that you considered making up an illness just to avoid going to work. The idea didn't sit well with you as you were no coward after all and you decided you would just have to deal with whatever came next. It didn't stop you from dragging your feet the whole way wondering if you hadn't just been a fool after all and overthought everything; your other stupid fucking habit you couldn't seem to get rid of.

Mayuri was nowhere in sight which wasn't that unusual as he sometimes had responsibilities in other parts of the Soul Society. You slumped in your chair staring at your notes through blurred eyes rubbing at them to dispel your fatigue.

Had you slept at all last night?

You genuinely didn't know.

Nothing made sense on the pages in front of you and you wanted to wad them all up and throw them away in your frustration. You were pathetic, you realized, pining after someone like Mayuri as if you were a teenager with a crush. It was becoming disruptive to your work now and that meant you would probably end up losing your rank and eventually your position serving under him. He'd get sick of your stupidity and you'd be stuck finding another squad to take you in if he didn't dissolve you in acid or some other awful method of killing you.

Your internal self derogatory monologue continued until Nemu spoke right next to you and you jolted out of your seat while she watched passively unaffected by your comical reaction.

"W-What?" you asked, so deep inside your own head you hadn't heard her.

"Mayuri-sama wishes to speak with you," Nemu repeated.

"A-Ah, I see."

Nemu waited expectantly indicating that you should follow her.

You tried to stay calm as she led you deeper into the facility than you'd ever been before, down several long corridors past many dark labs that gave off an ominous feeling that made you not want to know what was inside. The two of you continued until you reached your unknown final destination; a room with dim green light spilling across the floor from a source you couldn't see from the doorway. Nemu departed leaving you alone and your stomach going into knots.

This was it, you thought. Mayuri had finally had enough of you being a dumbass, you'd crossed the last line and he was going to turn you into goo or some incomprehensible experiment. No one to miss you or know you were gone.

You forced yourself to go inside taking in the room before you. A wall of screens flickered on the opposite side with varying levels of static and unsteady wavering images; the source of that ominous green light. A singular catwalk led to a row of consoles beneath them, all of which were currently abandoned only deepening that foreboding feeling in your gut that something was off.

"...sir?" you whispered, trying to peer into the bottomless shadows and not seeing or sensing anything.

Maybe Mayuri just wasn't here yet?

You dared to venture deeper inside, closer to the rows of monitors, trying to decipher any of the distorted images that weren't just pure white noise if only to distract yourself.

A singular monitor was clearer than the rest and when you squinted you could just make out what it was broadcasting.

What you saw turned your blood to ice.

It was your own face.

As if on some unknown queue all of the monitors changed at once, all of them reflecting back your own appearance.

All of them showed you in bed in varying states of arousal, lips parted, skin stained with sweat, eyes rolled back, your fingers frantically pumping your own cunt for that sweet release.

A silent collection of your shame reflected back at you over and over until a single word played over the audio system..

 "..Mayuri..."

Your own voice condemned you, your own moans and pants echoed in the surveillance room, accusing you from every direction.

Because of course he's there when you whirl around, remote in hand, the green light making his face paint appear ghoulish in the darkness as he grins.

Of course he knows, he's probably known from the start and that's why he brought you closer, he wanted to observe you. Maybe he thinks your little crush on him is funny and the idea of that makes hot tears burn threatening to spill over. Killing you would have been far more merciful than this public display of humiliation.

You had known he was cruel that was part of the fucked up reason you were drawn to him in the first place.

So why did it hurt so much now that it was directed at you?

"What's wrong?" Mayuri asked and you almost want to laugh if you didn't think you'd cry instead.

You want to cover your ears to block out the sound of your own voice saying his name over and over but you fall to your knees on the floor unable to take the weight of everything anymore. You don't notice that he's moved closer until his feet are in your field of view in front of you where your gaze has settled unable to look him in the eye.

His fingers are cold when they meet your chin tipping it up so you're forced to face him. He is no longer smiling and stares down at you with the faint reflection of yourself barely visible on the glassy surface of his eyes. It felt like a dream or perhaps a nightmare depending on how things ended up as he stroked your jaw thoughtfully with his thumb.

Just being touched by him sent shivers down your spine and you wondered what would happen if you bit him, what it would be like to run your tongue across the pad of his thumb so near to your mouth. You settle for wetting your lips instead and don't miss how he follows the motion with his eyes.

"I've been thinking the past few days on what to do with you," he said in a musing way. "Usually I wouldn't indulge in such nonsense but it would be a shame to waste potential like yours."

 Potential?

 Was he.. complimenting you?

Your stomach did a small hopeful flip still not fully grasping what was going on just yet.

That was until his hand slipped down and around your throat, squeezing threateningly, "On the other hand I sympathize with you for recognizing greatness when you see it. It's only natural for you to be unable to resist me I suppose. However, it's became disruptive to your work and that's a problem."

It was more like Mayuri was talking to himself, running through his own internal notes and voicing his thought process out loud like some deity proclaiming your fate while you knelt at his feet in fearful adoration.

"What do you want me to do with you, hm?"

The question is sudden, unexpected, and you can't stop the small involuntary sound that slips out past your constricted airways. You had imagined this very moment so many times in your darkest fantasies yet the reality was somehow so much more perverse. Being confronted with it in such a way had disturbed you to the point that your brain wasn't working properly and Mayuri rolled his eyes at your inability to go along with whatever game he was playing with you.

"I guess that means I'll just have to do whatever I want.."

He squeezed harder and black spots popped at the edges of your vision, your hands instinctively flying to his wrist in a plea for air as he dragged you along half crawling across the floor. Mayuri flung you across the guardrail separating the observation area and your stomach exploded into pain, quickly forgotten when he grabbed a handful of your hair yanking your head back forcing you to look at yourself, fire spreading across your scalp.

"Filthy woman. Are you so desperate to be fucked?"

Your eyes watered and your cunt throbbed with every heartbeat as you grew wetter. In an act of defiance you slipped a hand behind you and onto his cock, already hard beneath his hakama, giving it a hard squeeze. He gasped in surprise and you continued giving him a few strokes over his pants before he stopped you, "You really are a bitch in heat aren't you? No self control whatsoever."

There was strain behind his words and you smiled knowingly. For all of his talk, cruelty, and arrogance there was something you were curious about.

How much experience did Mayuri actually have when faced with someone interested in him sexually?

Given his reputation around the Soul Society probably not much.

You ground your ass against him instead never more annoyed with a zanpakuto as you were in that moment as Ashizogi Jizo's handle poked you uncomfortably. A literal cock block. You forced yourself to speak, "Did you like watching me all this time?"

It was no more than a whisper but Mayuri froze against you having heard you just fine.

"What stupid nons-"

You cut him off before he can finish, "You say I don't have any self control but how many times have you watched this footage of me, sir? Just out of curiosity."

You can't believe how steady your voice is and how reckless you're being entirely off the assumption that Mayuri wasn't here to incinerate you.

His anger is a twisted mask as you're spun to face him, his features contorted and lips locked into a sneer, "Don't get too carried away. There's still room for one more specimen jar in my lab."

It's a bluff and you both know it.

You could see how worked up he was, his breathing coming a little harder than normal, dilated pupils, and of course the erection you now knew he had. Mayuri needed to have the advantage in every situation including sex it seemed.

If you were already caught in your degeneracy there was no need in holding back anymore, you rationalized.

Your hands were restrained but it didn't stop you from slipping your foot from your waraji as slyly as you could and pressing it against his groin, unrelenting in your pursuit at riling him up. Mayuri's grip on your arms tightened to the point of cutting off the circulation but you didn't stop, only pressing harder and feeling him twitch beneath the ball of your foot.

Ashizogi Jizo is thrown aside with a loud clatter as you're released, his grip suddenly at your ankle but not to stop you. He pulled you in harder for one final rough grind before he's between your legs invading your personal space with his hips. "Insatiable slut," he hissed. "If you want it so badly then beg me for it."

Your eyes widened. "Please.." you said hesitantly.

"Please what? If you don't say it clearly I won't understand."

"Please fuck me, sir. I need it. Please."

Mayuri grinned, "Guess it can't be helped then. Strip."

The surveillance room was fairly dark and provided you a little modesty as you worked at removing your obi. Mayuri became impatient halfway through when you fumbled with the knot a few too many times, slapping away your hands and easily untying it with deft fingers. Your hakama was peeled away from your upper body making your nipples harder in the cold air and raising gooseflesh where his fingertips ghosted over the skin between your breasts.

"Your nipples are already like this when I haven't done anything to you yet. I wonder how wet you are then, hm? Let's see."

He didn't wait for you to remove your pants, slipping a hand down the front and into slick throbbing flesh, stroking and testing your reactions. It was alarming how he seemed to know exactly how to touch you to bring you the most pleasure as if it were your own hand instead of his and you truly wondered how many times he'd watched you masturbating to the thought of him.

Before this you couldn't have even dreamed of Mayuri debasing himself with something as crude as masturbation but now you could see it clear as day; Mayuri alone in his lab, cock in hand furiously pumping in time with your own thrusting fingers as he watched you from the surveillance room. It made you nearly delirious that he'd been fantasizing about you as well maybe since the beginning. You were already close and you may have even been embarrassed for how quickly he brought you to your climax if you weren't in heaven already. Except that just as you were about to come he stopped and you couldn't suppress the whine of protest at having your orgasm edged away.

Mayuri's fingers were covered in strands of your arousal as he held them up in front of your face, "You've gotten my hand dirty. Clean it."

His skin was cold despite having been inside you and tasted salty on your tongue as you sucked yourself off of him swallowing every bit of your own juices.

You made a show of it, rolling your tongue around them in an imitation of what you would do if it was his cock instead, applying ample suction and hollowing your cheeks with a soft moan. The desire to fuck you was clearly starting to win out over the desire to shame you, Mayuri's expression darkened at your provocation into something that set your insides into a flutter.

He pulled his fingers from your lips with a pop and gripped your jaw forcing it open, smearing your spit across your face. That was when he kissed you and you were startled by the ferocity and hunger behind it. It felt more like you were being devoured as Mayuri's dexterous tongue swept across the inside of your mouth taking in the remnants of your taste and fighting for dominance against your own tongue.

He only broke away when you were gasping for air, breathing out the words against your lips, "I thought I told you to strip?"

You might have sliced off your pants with your zanpakuto if it wasn't already forgotten on the floor somewhere in your need to have them off as fast as possible. Your ass had long since gone numb from sitting on the bar but you no longer cared about that as you finished undressing and spread yourself open to him. You couldn't imagine how debauched you must look with both your upper and lower lips swollen and slick from Mayuri's assault on your body. You hadn't even noticed that Mayuri's cock was freed from his hakama at some point, loosely grasped in his other hand while he'd kissed you.

He positioned himself at your opening gathering copious amounts of your slick and coating himself in it before unceremoniously penetrating your cunt in one movement. There was no time to adjust to his size, and there was certainly alot of it, as he started to move burying himself again and again in your quivering flesh, his thrusts inspired by anger.

Mayuri was angry at his own weakness and yours, he'd wanted this game to last longer when he finally confronted you but it seemed you knew exactly how to incite him into giving you what you wanted. You were so very needy for him after all, your walls clenching around him, sucking him in, as if you didn't want his cock to leave your body for even an instant. Your head was thrown back with your moans joining the chorus that still played on the audio system and your vulnerable throat was a welcoming target for Mayuri's teeth.

He bit you there sucking his mark onto your flesh, leaving himself behind so you couldn't hide what had happened, causing you to clench down around him harder still in response, enjoying the pain. He continued marking you all over your breasts, leaving purplish bruises all over those perfect globes of fat, spoiling you all for himself. Your first orgasm hit when your nipple was between his teeth, his own rasping moans heating your skin, and you sobbed in pleasure gasping out his name.

Your cunt had turned sloppy with your cum and relaxing muscles as Mayuri kept fucking you harder than before. He was a mess by that point with the paint around his mouth smearing into grey with strands of his hair sticking to his sweaty forehead above hooded lust blown eyes. It made the coils in your belly tight knowing it was all because of you that he'd ended up this way.

"Filthy fucking.. bitch," he snarled when he saw you watching. "Beg me to come inside you. I want to hear you say it."

He changed the angle of his hips and started hitting the sweet spot inside you that had your eyes rolling back and speech became a forgotten memory. Mayuri slowed down once your body started to peak, moving in short unsatisfying thrusts.

"Say it."

"Please.. I want you to come inside me. Fill me up with your cum.. Mayuri."

His name was the magic word it seemed as he resumed fucking you with a vicious intensity as if he were trying to kill you with his cock and he practically had by the time you came again it felt as if you would evaporate. It was much stronger than the first accompanied by the feeling of Mayuri's cum splashing your walls as you milked him dry in time with your own orgasm made you scream.

Your body was ruined from Mayuri's abuse, covered in bruises and leaking his cum from your cunt you had never been more sexually gratified in your life. One glance down at his still hard cock told you that it was far from over as you met his eyes and saw his self-satisfied smirk.

You couldn't help your own smile in return as he slid himself back into you, continuing your game.

[divine-jupiter]

Some of ya'll talk so much shit about Scorpio Venuses, Aquarius Moons, Capricorn Moons, Pisces anything (seriously wtf is everyone's problem with Pisces) without actually having one of these placements and it shows.

[movedtolilmouzee]

𝕭𝖔𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖓'𝖘 𝕼𝖚𝖊𝖊𝖓 𝕻𝖆𝖗𝖙 շ...

this will focus on more details from the first (same as first, Reader is female in this version)

𝘕𝘰𝘵𝘦 - 𝘐 𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘯𝘰 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘴𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦'𝘴 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 (𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘺𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘪 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘺𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘪𝘹𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘬𝘢𝘪 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘵.)

"How's it feel having all the love in the world? How's it feel to be with criminals? How's it feel to have all of them lusting after you Y/N? How's it feel to know they could easily kill you if you considered leaving them." These were the type of questions you got far too often when you told friends and sometimes family members about your current relationship. Some were easy to answer and ignore, but others weren't so simple. It didn't matter, you were happy that's all that mattered to you and them.

"What are rindou and Mikey like in bed?" Your friends asked curiously, the markings and bruises always making them ask questions. Rough was one way to label sex with them, but it went further. Rindou loved man handling you. Holding you up against the shower wall/Shower door, Pinning you down on the kitchen table keeping your legs spread apart as he ate you out like he was starving, pleases and whimpers falling deaf to his ears. Mikey loved overestimating you, Promising that this would be the last time you'd have to cum for him, you always believed him too. By your fourth orgasm you couldn't even speak straight, babbles falling from your swollen lips, begging for Mikey to fuck you and he obeyed, Watching your cunt greedily suck his cock in while you crying about how good it felt.

"How about Ran and Mochi?" They asked again, smiling as you rolled your eyes. Gentle, Soft, So So Sooo caring. Ran loves to take care of after a long day with Rindou or Mikey. His touch is so gentle it's like he isn't even touching you, He makes sure everything is perfect with your bath before he'd help you get in. Letting you soak in the warm water, relaxing your aching muscles as he gently washes your body. Mochi loves cuddles with you, It makes him so happy when you come into his office asking for cuddles he happily drops everything just for you. Mochi will place soft kisses on your neck and shoulder, taking in your sweet scent with each kiss he gives you.

"What do kokonoi and kakucho in the relationship?" Your friends teased much to your annoyance but you continued on. Both adored spoiling you to the max, to anyone on the outside would just think it's you being a gold digger but anyone close to you knew better then that. Kokonoi's favorite thing to do was get you any knew clothes and jewelry he saw you eyeing or talking about. You didn't even have to talk about it for him to sudden hand you the surprise gift, He just loves seeing how your face will light up and Your eyes sparkle while you thank him, Kokonoi did always say pretty girls should have pretty things. Kakucho loves to buy you new snacks and drinks to try, he could listen to you talk all day about the different foods you'd love to try. He isn't a big foodie but he'll gladly take you out around town to let you buy snacks and anything that catches your eye.

"Ok last one! We wanna hear about sanzu!" They asked between giggles noticing the annoyed look on your face. Sanzu was something that's for sure. You loved that he would gladly do whatever you asked him too, especially when it comes to getting rid of any trash that dared to disrespect his queen. Sanzus droopy eyes following your body as you'll trail into his office, plopping yourself onto his lap. Looking up at him with those doe eyes he loves so much, even so slightly pressing your breast against his chest smiling at him. He'd almost immediately say yes when you ask him to get rid of some dirty man, He needed the stress relief.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

I have never read Persuasion. I have never seen a single version of it.

And even I know "We're worse than exes, we're friends," is the worst thing you could do to any of Jane Austen's writing.

Like, what the fuck do you think you're doing rewriting any gut-wrenching Jane Austen scene into this watered down bullshit. Jane isn't Shakespeare. Her words are close enough to our own people can get it.

And more importantly: If you give some fucking context to Shakespeare (thank you, Baz Lurhman) it's very easy for teens and tweens to get what's going on.

It's disrespectful to new fans to assume you have to make the old-timey words hip in order for them to "get it." The reason "10 Things I Hate About You" is so fucking good isn't because it's dumb-downed Shakespeare; it's because it's well-done modern Shakespeare.

The new Persuasion with it's "we're friends" line feels like some incel thought they had a total vibe for Jane Austen.

How fucking dare you.

[ryosmne]

Calling out AOT simps.

Hey again, I did this last time with jjk, here's the aot version cause I felt like it, been pretty sick recently and bored out of my mind. This isn't ment to disrespect anyone, everything I say is meant as a joke and not to be taken to heart. I included the characters I already have an opinion on, idk maybe I'll expand the list. Anyways enjoy reading :>

Hange simps: Ok I see y'all, you're valid af, Henge is Hella hot but on a serious note how's your mental health doing? Carrying your friends issues isn't fun, pls take a break, have a cookie and sleep in fuzzy blankets you deserve it. They'd treat you like royalty, I can't roast you, congratulations on your choices. Either just as insanely upbeat as them or very relaxed and you need a person with a very upbeat personality to keep you leveled. 10/10 you're sweethearts and I've never seen an army of simps as hot and with different styles. Casual indie music enjoyer<3

Levi simps: You have attachment issues. There I said it. It's been like what? 9 years since the anime came out and you're still so down bad for this man ever since he baybladed his way into your heart. Most of y'all would drop every anime crush for him, he's top dog for you. Let's face it no one could get him to open up but I don't think you're ready for this conversation. Your family knows about Levi, your friends know about Levi, you're probably never letting him go. For that I'll say you're extremely loyal also you have unrealistic standards in dating. Pretty sure you're great cooks. You have low-key adapted his personality and you're badasses. Also valid 10/10 I think you like chill rnb, idk I can't read y'all.

Mikasa simps: You fell for her cause she's hella strong and gorgeous, she deserves the world and so do you, but for the love of God if I see another word about the unspeakable things you'd do with her menstrural products im coming for your internet connections. I'll skip the obvious need you have for her to beat you up, I love her too I'm down bad for her but I get my daily dose of grass touching, y'all should try it too. I hope you know she hasn't washed her scarf ever since eren gave it to her. 9/10 you need to chill, fucking mappa made us all feral. Dark clothes, You listen to mitski.

Eren simps: Welcome to group therapy, do you want to share something with the circle or shall I go first? :> You have extremely unhealthy habits. No you don't need more caffeine for today, I beg you have a sip of water and some fruit. You don't care if he destroyed everything on earth as long as you got destroyed by him too. You probably read a lot of modern au fics to escape the pain (don't be shy drop your recs in my comments pls, it's a need at this point). If you started the simping campaign in season four you probably simped for Levi before that. You now have a thing for long hair and man buns now. Dog person, alternative look idk I picture y'all with piercings and tattoos. You believe in traumatising people back, who am I to judge? How does it feel to have your entire simp list be villains? If mikasa simps need to touch grass y'all should probably go to a field and start chewing it up, you know what I'm talking about, I won't elaborate. 15/10 if you also simp for his Titan form, bmth enjoyer, if you don't know what music to play you go an Eren Jaeger playlist.

Reiner simps: Who hurt you? I'll just say it, daddy issues. You think you can be a therapist to him, probably give him comfort, you can't I'm sorry. I feel like he'd treat you ok, but please stop going after people who have issues it's not good for you. But I feel you he's so hot and troubled also honkers. You have a thing for big chested anime men, probably also a toji or Nanami simp, dare I say Yami? Can I be honest tho I really like y'all, you're chill and gorgeous with taste, I can ignore the mental health issues too cause this man is something else. 20/10 you give me grunge music vibes.

Armin: Smarty pants, you like control. I low-key think you're a bit crazy in a good way, you seem very calculated but lmao every decision you make is last minute :') you are very well spoken and seemingly calm. He'd treat you great I can't roast you at all, I'm sorry. 10/10 very good choice, let the rest of us burn, dark/light academia aesthetic, I think you get down to some K-pop.

Jean simps: People of culture, you're also cocky like him but not as hot headed. Another man that would give you the world, I also can't roast you, you make better decisions than I ever did in my life. MCU fan. You have a thing for side characters, I think you always like someone other than the MC. You have a thing for hands. 10/10 great street style looks, classic rock enjoyer.

Erwin: Unhealthy, he'd lead you to death just so he could see that basement. He's a crazy bastard, make better choices, you don't deserve to be eaten by titans. You have a thing for authority figures. -100/10 I picture y'all in sundresses and you'd look amazing, you deserve better.

[bakerolivias-archived]

just to clear things up, i don't think people are understanding when i say that a.laric is extremely insensitive about hope's parentage, i don't mean klaus should be made out as some kind of woobified uwu meow meow.

first off, alaric is a hypocrite because his best friend is d.amon salvatore, a serial rapist, misogynist, confederate (although whether that was d.amon's choice or not is, i suppose, debatable, but he was a white man over the age of eighteen and thus complacent) murderer, and d.amon raped the woman who gave birth to ric's children, who also happened to be his ex history student, and nobody badmouths d.amon in the name of historical accuracy, especially not to d.elena's daughter. d.amon did little to earn ric's forgiveness regardless, but because he cared about damon he chose to anyways. alaric could at least be empathetic and realize that hope loved a man who did horrible things, same as ric himself, and those two relationships are very different. one is a best friend who is very much alive, at peace, and has a family. the other is a father who sacrificed himself so hope could have a good life of her own.

hope is old enough to be properly educated about klaus's actions, no one has to sugarcoat it. but he died and his death, for obvious reasons, still hurts her. she has every right to mourn her father while also understanding that he hurt other people, but the way alaric is trying to, supposedly, "educate" her is extremely unkind on his part. he chooses to throw hope's parentage in her face in a moment when she is vulnerable (aka in the process of facing the life altering decision to become a "tribrid") and needs external support from people who care about hope's safety and quality of life. alaric doesn't have to forgive klaus, but he could have at least had some tact and respect for hope during this time. even lizzie and josie were indignant when alaric chose to play the Klaus Is A Baddie And I Don't Want You To End Up Like Him card. he also said "this is your father and i won't allow it" during a time when hope was being emotional and felt betrayed and angry, and expressed this in ways that is perfectly normal for a teenage girl? like how was that supposed to help her at the time?

klaus did some fucked up things which negatively impacted ric's life and his loved ones, but hope was already aware of her dad's more violent nature long before he died, way back in TOs5. he doesn't have to constantly put her down for the fact that klaus was a Big Bad, and she's not the right person - a grieving daughter who lost her dad - to vent his and klaus's issues to. there should definitely be some kind of boundaries there that need to be enforced.

marcel and freya are clearly better candidates for addressing the issue, than alaric. they both were klaus's family which theoretically means they would be more biased, but marcel was able to put that aside for hope's sake and give her a watered down version of klaus's darker side that was acceptable for a seven year old (your dad doesn't trust many people, kid) and freya was levelheaded and supportive of hope's choice to become the tribrid, and the fact that it would be a very difficult decision for her. she addressed the fact that klaus was complicated and unethical, but also told hope about the qualities she loved about her brother (loyal to a fault and "would burn the world to protect the people he loved"). alaric says he doesn't want hope to turn out like her father, but disrespects the fact that she loved the qualities of his personality he showed her as a father and as a person. freya assured hope that she had many of her father's loveable traits, and her mother's as well (which legacies should do more often but i digress), and that she was not just a better person than her father, she was better than them all, for making a decision that would selflessly save the lives of others even at her personal cost. there is a way to maintain a realistic balance between klaus having done several bad things and klaus being a person whom she loved and who loved hope in return.

[tossawary]

I need to know more about “SVSSS - Baby Brother Liu Qingge” bc I love tiny and very deadly baby LQG

I have a 3k-ish Shang Qinghua POV that was supposed to be the introduction to this fic concept! So... ah... baby Liu Qingge does not appear in this, but you can see the setup for how an 8yo-ish Liu Qingge was supposed to be introduced. My hope is that this will someday become a "Shang Qinghua and Shen Jiu go on a mission with Baby Brother Liu Qingge" one shot.

-cut-

Shang Qinghua didn't really have the words to describe what it was like having Proud Immortal Demon Way's characters finally come into his second life.

He didn't have the words to describe a lot of his transmigration experience, honestly! His words had described a lot of this world already, haha, hadn't they? Sometimes a person just had to put up with it and keep going.

And then excuse himself later to go scream into a pillow! Many times!

At first, life was just him in a body that didn't fit and strange memories that slipped between his fingers like sand. His memories of a past life had settled eventually, the System finally came fully online, and his relationship with his second family was fully fucked forever. That was fine, though! That was fine! With some unsolicited prodding from his System, he left to go seek his fortune soon enough and he never had to talk to his character's birth parents or siblings again.

But Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky had never said much of anything about Shang Qinghua’s family or home village, besides saying that the man had dreamed of more than his mediocre origins, so everything had been unfamiliar and original and real. Getting to Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, which he had described in great detail, was a real headfuck. There were no words for the experience of recognizing things that he’d written in another life.

He saw the glistening rainbow bridge and the intimidating sect entrance and the majestic meeting hall on Qiong Ding, and he nearly screamed. He definitely squawked. His vision got really fuzzy for a minute there and he had to sit down on the ground before he fell over. What the fuck?! What the fuck?! He’d made a world! The System had really made a world out of his web-novel! He was really stuck in Proud Immortal Demon Way!

There were upsides and downsides to joining Cang Qiong Mountain Sect. Downsides included: the hard training, the harder workload, the dangerous missions, the disrespect towards An Ding Peak, and being surrounded by arrogant and foolish teenagers looking to look down on someone. It was really something else to look some of them in the eye and think, "Bro, I don’t know your name, but you kind of owe your existence to me. Could you stop being such a fucking asshole about leaving your chores for me to do?! Respect your father!"

Upsides included: actually becoming a cultivator (pretty cool, even though the work of cultivation sucked more often than not), better living accommodations and food, and actually getting to see some of the cooler places, plants, monsters, and magic that were a part of his world. Sure, carting a monster corpse brought in by Bai Zhan Peak to Xi Jiao Peak for butchering was smelly and heavy and altogether miserable, but seeing an impossible animal was still kind of incredible. If this unwilling Shang Qinghua could stop being pushed around and stepped on long enough to appreciate the upsides, he’d really appreciate it!

It was interesting and infuriating to log the differences between what he’d imagined, what he’d written, and what the System had created. What sort of author described every single object in every single room? Who had time for that? Who wanted to read that? The System had filled in all the living details of An Ding Peak - the Leisure Houses, the training grounds, the storehouses, the warehouses, the kitchens, the lesson halls, the leisure gardens, the farming fields, the livestock fields, the stables, the cart lot, the water supply, the sewage systems, and so on - so that people could actually live here. Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky as an author had done many things worthy of complaint and criticism, but wasting his readers’ time with sewage systems was not one of them!

The System had also filled in all the little details and decorations - the paintings on the walls of sect history, the detailing on the rooftops supposedly offering protections from dream demons, the chipped and faded paint of old storehouses that disciples would be tasked with replacing, the statues in the fields to scare off scavengers, the carvings on the doors meant to reduce resentful energy, the childish etchings of bored students the surface of the lesson hall desks, the old bench where the An Ding Peak Lord liked to sit and eat flatcakes - so that it really seemed like people had built this place and maintained it and added to it for generations.

Shang Qinghua had his quibbles here and there. Sometimes the System had made choices that he objected to! He would have done it differently if it had asked him, the author, to contribute. He really felt as though the System should have asked him to clarify the plot holes and the gaps in detail, instead of choosing precedence randomly or building off random implications taken way too literally.

Sometimes he found out that the System had built things out of throwaway lines that Shang Qinghua himself had completely forgotten about. It turned out that Ku Xing Peak made a lot of purification tools and containment vessels because Airplane had offhandedly mentioned that this was their specialty, and now Shang Qinghua had to cart around delicate ceramics to be sold to city merchants or other cultivation sects. He never would have dared to write that if he’d known that it would one day in another life be his job to do things like take inventory and chase down signatures for successful deliveries.

Places, items, and creatures were one thing, but logging the differences between the people he met and the characters he’d created was something else. At first it was okay, because he was surrounded by nameless An Ding Peak nobodies - his fellow disciples, their teachers, the hardworking managers and merchants, even the peak lord - none of them had ever mattered in Proud Immortal Demon Way. If Airplane had been the one to name any of them, he didn’t recognize the names or remember them.

Then he met Yue Qingyuan.

Wow, it was a worse headfuck than first arriving at Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, when Shang Qinghua finally realized that this was the young version of one of his actual characters. It took him a minute. As a lowly outer disciple, Shang Qinghua hadn’t received “Qinghua” as a name yet (his name was Houhua, not that anyone ever used it) and the future Yue Qingyuan was still called Yue Qi.

Shang Qinghua was fourteen at the time. Yue Qingyuan must have been around the same age, so he didn’t strike the tall and handsome figure of the sect leader Airplane had described. The boy was broad, but actually a little short. He had freckles. He had acne.

But he also had a warm smile that seemed to go all the way to his eyes when he offered to give Shang Qinghua directions to the right office on Qiong Ding. He had a steady hand when he helped Shang Qinghua up, after the An Ding disciple had suddenly tripped over nothing upon being introduced. Yue Qingyuan - Yue Qi - walked him to the right office and did his best to make small talk, friendly and kind even though Shang Qinghua was having difficulty stringing more than a few words together in his shock.

Even then, it was obvious that the boy was developing the calm surety and the social charm that would make him a greatly admired sect leader someday! It was all Shang Qinghua could do not to blurt out: “Holy shit, you’re REAL?!” Which would be closely followed by: “Hey, is Shen Qingqiu really real too?!” And then maybe closely followed by: “FUCK!!!”

As the years went by, Shang Qinghua met more of Proud Immortal Demon Way’s characters, and it was weird every time. None of them were exactly like he was expecting. He kept expecting… well… he kept expecting them to look like the fanart, like flawless character models, more or less. Instead, he kept getting… people.

Wei Qingwei, head disciple of the sword-focused Wan Jian Peak, was also shorter than he was expecting, kind of stout, with a wide face and a wider smile. Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky had apparently had the man crack a few jokes upon his rare appearances in the web-novel, usually during tense situations, as he was reminded by the System upon thinking to himself: “Why is this guy LIKE THIS?!” So, because of just a few lines, the real Wei Qingwei had a relentless sense of humor and loved telling jokes.

Upon their first meeting, when Shang Qinghua was fifteen and had been sent over to help renovate some Wan Jian dormitories, fifteen-year-old Wei Qingwei had pretended to fumble a sword and, using a packet of dye and a sleight of hand, made it look like he’d accidentally cut off his own hand at the wrist. Of course Shang Qinghua had screamed and panicked! Anyone would panic! But Wei Qingwei had laughed at him and said, “Got you! Shang-Shidi, the sword wasn’t even unsheathed!” Asshole!

Qi Qingqi, the head disciple of Xian Shu Peak, was much taller than he was expecting. Apparently Airplane had once described a group of some of the peak lords by saying something like: “Each one of them was like a giant to young Luo Binghe.” That group had included Qi Qingqi. The System apparently had taken that to mean that Qi Qingqi was of a height with the likes of Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu. Shang Qinghua discovered this adaptational choice when he was almost sixteen, when this giraffe-like girl came to An Ding Peak to complain about an order someone along the pipeline had dropped completely, and he accidentally found himself (still waiting on a really good growth spurt) eye-level with Qi Qingqi’s chest.

Airplane had apparently once said in Proud Immortal Demon Way that Qian Cao Peak Lord Mu Qingfang appeared a little older than his colleagues, by which he’d probably meant that the man was just tired or something, but this head disciple Mu Qingfang appeared to have ten years on all the other head disciples. Which was good! Shang Qinghua approved of their future head healer not being a teenager and having more training!

On the bad side of things, Airplane had also once said in Proud Immortal Demon Way that the Zui Xian Peak Lord Zhang Qingyan liked his drink too much. This was the peak specializing in alcohol, so it had seemed to make sense! It was supposed to be funny, if anything! Well, at sixteen, Shang Qinghua found out that the System had focused too much on the “too much” part of that statement and now the head disciple of Zui Xian Peak was pretty clearly a budding alcoholic. (Sometimes a cultivator’s constitution and ability to “cure” themselves just… made a person drink more. A lot more.) Which was… not good.

At seventeen, Shang Qinghua met Mobei-Jun.

He didn’t know where to get started with Mobei-Jun.

Somehow he’d… forgotten that Mobei-Jun had been originally based on Airplane’s idea of “the perfect man” and not the super pretty, muscular but slim-waisted protagonist type? The real Mobei-Jun was… tall… and big… and thick. Mobei-Jun’s intimidating features were… more striking than pretty. The first time Shang Qinghua had come back to his Leisure House and found this spoiled brat of an ice demon napping shirtless on his bed, and gotten an eyeful of all that heavy muscle and chest hair, he’d nearly knocked himself out on the doorframe trying to turn away before he had a heart attack.

Mobei-Jun really was going to be the death of him, holy shit.

Especially because this ice demon really was a spoiled brat! Airplane had described this character as being arrogant and apathetic, so now Shang Qinghua had to deal with a Mobei-Jun who took long baths and then carelessly dripped water all over the floor and all over fresh sheets! Who ate all of Shang Qinghua’s cooking and ungratefully only demanded more food, sprawled over furniture not really fit for someone of his size, and then watched Shang Qinghua like a fat tiger! Ahhh, this demon really was lucky he was handsome!

Mobei-Jun was also kind of violent, and mean, which was… well, it sucked.

Back to the sect that Shang Qinghua was now actively betraying, however, as far as he could see, there was still one future peak lord missing.

It wasn’t Shen Qingqiu, who Shang Qinghua had thought would be the last one to show up. Shen Qingqiu had shown up and had been advancing through the ranks of Qing Jing Peak before Shang Qinghua had even met Mobei-Jun, which meant that Yue Qingyuan had finally stopped looking like someone had torn out his soul. (Shang Qinghua had been forced to grit his teeth every time that someone mentioned how privileged that Yue Qingyuan was to have been granted that year of secluded cultivation in the Lingxi Caves at such a young age.)

No, of all the peak lords, it was Liu Qingge who Shang Qinghua had yet to meet.

After meeting Mobei-Jun and becoming an inner disciple, the System had given Shang Qinghua three years to make it to head disciple, probably because the deadline for a new generation of peak lords to ascend was fast approaching. He was working hard to achieve that! Not only did he have to sabotage the current favorite, but he had to make sure all his own training, missions, work, and research were as close to flawless as he could get it! All while keeping an intruding ice demon happy! He wasn’t totally sure that he was going to make it at this rate, even though he’d been here for years.

So it was a little concerning that Liu Qingge hadn't shown up yet. There was so much left to do. A world-state that had yet to be established. Liu Qingge had work to do here!

Liu Qingge and Shen Qingqiu still had to develop a hatred for each other as disciples that would extend to everyone believing that Shen Qingqiu had murdered Liu Qingge as peak lords, after all. Granted, all Liu Qingge really had to do was beat everyone else on Bai Zhan Peak up to obtain the position, and it wasn’t exactly hard to get Shen Qingqiu to develop a lifelong grudge, but the guy was still cutting it pretty close.

It was possible that Liu Qingge was already on Bai Zhan Peak and making good progress, but that he was just so solitary and focused on searching out the next big battle that Shang Qinghua had just never had the opportunity to meet him. Shang Qinghua did his best to avoid Bai Zhan Peak most of the time, honestly! He was curious about where Liu Qingge was, about what the man looked like, but he didn’t let himself sweat at not seeing the future war god, when he already had so many things to sweat about. The System had taken care of bringing in everyone else, so Shang Qinghua was sure that Liu Qingge would follow sooner or later.

Shang Qinghua’s first sign that something was wrong was that, on the day that Liu Qingge finally announced his existence by beating up everyone on Bai Zhan Peak, everyone was saying things like, “I can’t believe some kid managed to topple all of Bai Zhan like that!”

He… may or may not have ignored this sign.

To be fair to this poor writer-turned-disciple, though, he’d been up all night finishing some paperwork catastrophe the An Ding Peak Lord had thrown at him to fix, as some kind of “test” of his logistics skills. Upon hearing the latest gossip, Shang Qinghua thought, “Oh, finally?” And then his overtired brain collapsed from the effort of thinking two words together in a sentence, and all he could manage from there was to feel the intense need to go to bed at a maximum, static-y volume. No words. No more thinky thoughts. Just the need for speedy sleep.

He stumbled through the rest of his day and then passed out for 18 hours straight. In hindsight, this would have been the time when the gossip was at its hottest. He missed all of it.

When he woke up, everyone was still dealing with the aftermath of what had happened on Bai Zhan Peak, but the conversation had shifted more towards replacing Qian Cao Peak’s depleted supplies and the repairs to Bai Zhan’s training grounds. Liu Qingge was the name on everyone’s lips, still, but everyone knew the basic information now. Now, everyone was just exclaiming over and over again how unbelievably young (and pretty) he was to have bested every other disciple on the sect battle-focused peak. This didn't seem too strange.

The System probably would have based the War God's appearance on his sister, Liu Mingyan, a strong contender for the most beautiful woman in all of Proud Immortal Demon Way. Liu Qingge apparently being a very pretty boy fell neatly into line with all the other character design surprises that Shang Qinghua had gotten smacked with so far.

If Airplane had known that he'd be transmigrating into his novel, maybe there would have been even more handsome men! And everyone would have lived happily ever after and nothing bad would have happened ever, probably, but also there might be more sexy guys too.

-

TBC

[tomtenadia]

My knight in shining armour

Rowaelin month Day 2 - University AU

I literally just finished this. I wasn’t going to write for this prompt but then an idea finally hit me.

The title as usual is bad... sorry

2k words

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Aelin had days in which she hated men. That was one of those days. 

After finishing high school she decided to took a challenging course at the University of Terrasen. Her dad, before he retired, had been an airforce pilot. She had grown up going around his base, visiting him when he was back. In doing so, she had become obsessed with planes. As she grew up, her dad had let her get friendly with his engineer and the man had started teaching her all she needed to know about aircrafts. From the basic physics to the more obscure detail of how the jet worked. Aelin had been fascinated. She had started reading all the possible books, and as she got older, her dad’s engineer had also started having her to actually help her in the hangar. In the summer when school was out, she would actually get a part-time job as an apprentice at the base and she had loved every moment of it. She had also become very close with the two female pilots and together they had spent time talking about the life of a woman in a boys club. The two women had become her role models very quickly.

Terrasen was quite and open minded country but some ideas were still quite obsolete.

In high school at the question “what you want to be when you grow up?” She always answered an aircraft engineer for the airforce. She never faltered or never doubted. That’s what she wanted to, that was her path.

But when time for uni arrived and she applied for a degree in aeronautical engineering, that’s when she realised that the boys club extended far more than she expected.

She was basically the only woman in the class. None of the guys had approached her and on the first day she had walked in the classroom, one of them had the guts to tell her that the humanities department was in the annex c. She ignored the bastard and sat down at the front. She belonged in that room and she would prove it to every single one of them.

Day after day she had shown her knowledge and surprised her professor who was amazed at the fact that she could answer such in depth questions. Last time it happened, she had turned to Chaol - the asshole who had told her about the annex c, and gave him a smirk. That had removed his stupid grin from his face. It felt amazing.

During a private one-to-one with her professor she had confessed to him she had been working at the airbase as an apprentice during the past three summers. Her teacher had luckily been very supportive and encouraged her to keep up the good work.

Now, six months in, she still hated with a vengeance the arseholes she had to study with. Some of them even had the guts to ask her for some help after they realised she was actually good. She had answered that surely they didn’t want the help of a woman, and walked away.

After another class it was finally lunch time and she was meeting Rowan down at their spot on the grass. They were a couple. He had asked her out in the summer after high school was over and they had been together ever since. He was a med student and he knew her pain about choosing a challenging degree. Both their degrees were very intense and required a lot of time so they would just try and spend as much time together as they could. They had a flat together but the public library was were they spent most of their time.

And when their schedules allowed it, they would enjoy lunch together, venting about their academical choices.

“I fucking hate that bastard.” She raged, dropping her bag on the grass and sitting at his side, depositing a kiss on his lips. She felt better almost immediately, being in his arms was all she needed to feel okay again.

“What did he do now?” Asked Rowan knowing of her struggles in her classes.

Aelin grabbed her bag and pulled out her food, the dinner that Rowan had prepared the previous night and then packed away for both of them.

“The teacher gave us an exercise where we had to design an aircraft with what we had learned so far.” She told him, while munching away her food “He was up first and his project was a effing disaster. Seriously, I’d wouldn’t want to fly on a plane designed by him.” She took a sip of her water “the teacher asked us to say what was wrong and it took me ten minutes to stop. I mean, a two year old would have done a better job with lego bricks.”

Rowan giggled at her side “then my turn came and the bastard had the guts to tell me that the aerodynamics of my plane were off and that my ailerons where wrong as well and would not allow the plane to function properly. I took my laptop and shoved it in his face and told him to find the error in my math. He had no clue.” Her face turned smug “then the teacher took over and said that actually my project was, among all, the only one that could actually fly. I felt smug as fuck.”

Rowan pulled an arm around Aelin’s shoulder and pulled her to him. He was proud of her. Every damn day.

“Then after class, he threw me a paper plane and inside it had a message saying this is the only plane you will ever build or work on. I swear, the guy is still alive only because I am not looking forward to finishing my degree via distance learning from a prison.”

She calmed down “how was your day?”

Rowan leaned back against the tree “I had anatomy and physiology. Today we covered the endocrine system and it must be one most boring of them all.”

“Well,” she added with a big smile “when you cover the reproductive system you are welcome to practice with me…”

He laughed and squished her to her chest “I am a very big fan of your… bits.” She kissed him deeply not caring that they were in public, she wanted him and hated that they had more classes before being able to go home and then alas, study more. Maybe for one evening they could study something different.

“Aelin?”

“Yes, buzzard?”

His tongue gently teased her and she opened for him while his hand brushed off a rebel strand of hair.

He pulled back “Nothing, you had tomato sauce on you lips. I was just wiping it off. Did you think I wanted to kiss you?” 

Aelin gently punched him on the shoulder, in return he gave her a massive grin. Rowan was a very reserved man who struggled with stranger, but she had her own version, the goofy one, the one who made jokes and loved to cuddle with her. She would treasure that version forever. That was just for her.

They were busy chatting away and she was showing him on her laptop the exercise she had been working on and her plane prototype and although what she was saying was greek to him, he still listened to her in fascination.

She was telling him how a plane flew and the four forces when a figure stopped in front of them.

“It must be exciting to brag with your boyfriend about your hopeless projects.” Said the man.

Rowan raised his eyes and finally saw the face of the man that had been making Aelin’s life miserable.

“What did you just say?” Rowan stood and towered on the brown-haired man by twenty centimetres. Chaol also looked frail compared to Rowan’s muscular frame.

“Chaol, you’d better go.” Not that she cared about the man, she just didn’t want Rowan to get into trouble for a petty man.

“You’d better give up while you still can, Galathynius. Aeronautical engineering is not a field for a woman.” He crossed his arms at his chest trying to look intimidating but the look in Rowan’s eyes told her it was a useless attempt. Her boyfriend was ready to attack. She knew he had never hit anyone, but had a feeling that if Chaol didn’t stop it could be a first for Rowan.

“Chaol,” she stood as well and growled his name in warning.

“Oh, so you are one of those arseholes who believes that certain jobs can be done only by those who were born with a penis. It’s the fucking 21st century. Grow up, idiot.”

Rowan swore, alarm bells rang in Aelin’s head. He only swore when he was extremely mad, something that her unflappable boyfriend rarely was.

“Oh look, Galathynius, you have a knight in shining armour.”

Aelin moved between Rowan and Chaol, trying to separate them when her boyfriend moved a step closer to the other guy.

Chaol chuckled “Did you sleep with every professor—” but Chaol never finished his sentence. She saw the scene develop in slow motion in front of her. At those words Rowan’s face had turned feral and as on instinct his arm moved and a second later his fist found its target in Chaol’s face. 

Rowan then grabbed Chaol by the collar and lifted him up slightly “You take it back, immediately or I’ll smash all the twenty two bones in your skull.”

“Go on,” said Chaol, nursing a broken lips.

Aelin stopped in between and grasped Rowan’s hand gently “Put him down, Ro, he is not worth it.”

Her gaze then turned to Chaol “now you go back to whatever shithole you came from and perhaps go back working on your project and design a real aircraft.” She moved closer to him “I know what the fuck I am doing. And I know I will have a job in the airforce after this. You will just go back being daddy’s little spoiled boy.”

Chaol glared at her and Rowan finally let go of him, bur before he fully released him he pulled the man close enough that his mouth was near his ear “you disrespect her like that one more time and you’ll finish your degree from a hospital bed while sipping your food from a straw.” Rowan flashed his teeth in a threatening gesture “you leave her alone, because if I hear you have been a bastard to her one more time, I will make your life a living hell.” And eventually released him. Chaol shrugged his t-shirt back into place and walked away without adding another word.

Rowan sighed and then turned to her, his expression back being soft as soon as she looked back at him.

“You didn’t have to punch him,” she said while snuggling against his chest. His arms quickly around her.

“Yes I had to. What he said….” She felt him tense up again “he made me so mad, fireheart.”

“Seeing you thump him was very sexy,” she kissed him gently on the lips “my knight in shining armour.”

Rowan chuckled and looked into he blue eyes “you don’t need a knight. You are fierce, brave and strong and do not need any protection,” he added, his lips on her head. Nesting under his chin was her favourite position. They fit perfectly “I, on the other hand, as a male who is hopelessly in love with you, felt the desperate need to avenge the sullied honour of my amazing other half.”

Aelin giggled hard “you really sound like a knight.”

“Come on, Sir Rowan Whitethorn of Wendlyn, let’s finish our lunch, I have an hour of mechanics of flight coming up and I need sustenance.”

“Yes, my queen,” he said kneeling in front of her.

Aelin laughed and kissed him deeply “maybe I can be your queen tonight in bed as well.”

His smirk grew wider and Aelin felt heat pool at her core at his expression.

“Whatever m’lady commands.”

They finished their lunch in peace without any more interruptions and eventually they parted ways, going to their respective classes.

Chaol did not bothered her anymore. He didn’t even met her gaze and him ignoring her was all she asked. She was there to learn, he could just go and sulk in the afterburner of a jet, perhaps while on, for all she cared.

Aelin texted Rowan a thank you and his reply was a simple To whatever end.

[divinefireangel]

Shower

Soft Dom! Zuho x F! Reader smut.

You can come at me but this is the hottest Zuho ever (other than good guy Zu)

Disclaimer: This is just a work of fiction. If this piece of fan fiction is offensive to any celebrity, fandom or culture please let me know so I can take it down. Also note that this is my version of a character or celeb, which will vary from person to person.

Author's Note: I woke up horny for Ju. So I wrote something steamy. Hope you like it!

Copyright: Please note that this is my work and if you want to publish this on any other platform, take my permission before doing so. Taking an author's work and posting it somewhere else without any intimation is just disrespectful. I readily welcome suggestions and criticisms. That being said, Happy reading! 🤍

Warnings: 18+ and for Female reader (nothing specified with respect to appearance, etc of reader). Shower sex. In case you couldn't tell 😂. There is choking, Soft dom Juho, begging, unprotected sex (reader's on birth control), creampie (maybe a lil filthy line) and a cute ending 😉. Lmk if I need to add more!

Pre-Requisite/Summary: Basically porn with no plot. Shower sex. Juho and his deep voice doing things wink wonk

1351 words

"May I join you? " Your boyfriend asks you from outside the shower. Humming a quite yes, you open the door, letting him enter the confined space of the shower. The water from the shower cascading down your bodies, drenching you both. Stepping closer, Juho places a soft kiss on your temple. Glancing back at him over your shoulder, he offers you a small smile as his hands begin to wander around your arms, coming to rest at your waist, pulling your back flush against his now wet chest.

"What are you doing? " You asked in a whisper.

"Helping you shower. " He replied grinning like a cat making a smile of your own form.

"I'm sure I'm capable enough to do that on my own! " Laughing you lean your head back on his shoulder.

"I know. But you've had a rough week and I want to take care of you. " He said using his deep voice, sending goosebumps through your body, a need awakening in your core. Damn him and his deep voice.

"Oh" Is all you can say as his head dips to your neck, hands moving from your waist to your thighs, rubbing them up and down. Kissing solfty on your neck, then roughly, then harshly, licking the spot then nibbling on it till there is surely a mark. His right hand leaves it's spot on your thigh coming up to grab your breasts and squeeze them as he continued to marked your neck soothingly.

Pulling him closer by his hip, you gasp at the feeling of his cock getting hard against your butt. Humming in approval of this action, his fingertips starting to run along your inner thighs.

"What exactly is your plan my love? This isn't really showering. " You say trying your best to not moan desperately. Trailing his lips up to your earlobe, he let's out a breathy moan as he grinds his semi hard member into you.

"Would you like me to show you my plan? " He questions raspily, whispering as you gulp in anticipation. Then it clicked. Nodding your head frantically, knowing exactly what his plan was, you try to turn your body to face his. His strong grip on your body prevented you from doing so, but before you could complain, his lips find yours, intoxicating you with his kiss, as one of his hands trail up to your throat, gently pressing his fingers around it.

Moaning into the kiss, your hands find his almost hard cock, stroking it slowly to match the pace of your make out. Breaking the kiss, you moan out his name, his fingertips brushing and caressing your folds, occasionally teasing your clit, making you wetter. He loves how even when your are dripping under water, just his fingers can make you drenched for him with your arousal. Increasing his pace, he draws out more moans and curses from your lips, making your hole contract around air, begging to be filled by his cock. Dragging your juices from your inside your warmth to your clit, making you jerk at the sensation, you open your eyes to his, begging for more silently, as he smirks knowing exactly what he's doing to you.

"Ju, I need you. Please. " Moaning out, fueling him perfectly, just the way he likes, you jutt your hips against his, hoping he'll give you what you want, what you both want. Turning your head to one side, squeezing your throat tighter, choking you, pushing you till your front touches the shower wall, he eases the tip of his dick into your entrance, gliding in easily due to how wet you are for him. How wet he made you for him.

"Fuck" You both say out load at the feeling of each other in the most intimate parts of yourselves. The coolness of the wall you feel on your breasts and nipples make you moan softly, as you adjust to his size, closing your eyes at the feeling but not before noticing the smug expression of satisfaction on his face. Tilting your head back he captures your lips again beginning to move his hips through your entrance a little, just the way you love and hate. Love, because this action never fails to have your eyes rolling back as your mouth hangs open and hate because the tip of his cock almost brushes your sweet spot, but not quite, giving it light feather strokes.

"Tell me how it feels baby" He nudges your to speak, to use your words, as he continues with the same action and pace. Whining you move your hand to the back of his head, trying to kiss him again. Licking the shell of your ear, he lifts up one of your legs by placing his hand at the underside of your thigh. Drawing his cock out completely, he stills for a moment, driving your insane as he waited for you to ask. To beg.

"Please Ju. I need more. I want more. " Squirming by the wall, you look at him with lust filled eyes. Satisfied with your request, he snaps his hips with yours, entering your with his length all at once, making you scream in pleasure. Repeating the action again and again, making you breathlessly whimper out his name like a spell bound baby.

Slowing down for a moment, grinding into you, feeling your ass on his front, groaning your name, he pulls out. Turning you to face him without question, he lifts you up by the back of your thighs and ass, his large hands gripping your flesh, as he enters you again, this time your back on the cool wall, legs wrapping around his slender waist.

Tightening your walls around his cock, he savours the moment as the feeling makes his head dizzy. Biting his lower lip he moves his body to flush against yours, holding you up with as much force as he can.

"Please Ju" You request again, loving how his body makes your feel, but wanting to release after being too worked up by him.

Following your words, he finally quickens his pace, mouth instinctively attaching to yours, engulfing your moans for a moment, before resuming it's place on your neck, so as to hear your moan his name repeatedly. Moving your hands around his broad shoulders, you scratch his skin softly with your nails, shrieking as his fingertip finds your clit, stimulating it roughly at a fast pace, to match his cock ramming into your entrance.

"Fuck, baby, you feel so good around me. I swear I can stay like this forever. " He sighed into your neck, breathlessly feeling himself getting closer to the sweet satisfaction of a release, getting lost in your warmth and how incredible you feel around him.

"Cum for me baby. I need you to. " He begged out loud, his orgasm approaching sooner than he anticipated. Nodding your head yes you clench your walls around him again one last time as you cum around his cock, the stimulations to your clit and g-spot enough to make you go crazy, arching your back off the wall, pressing your nipples on his chest, shaking your legs around his hips, as you release holding onto him as you get lost in the sweet pleasure of your orgasm.

"I love you." And with that he shoots hot white strings into you, filling you up with his creamy cum, fucking you a few more times, making you whimper at the feeling of oversensitivity, before pulling out completely. Holding your up in the same position, catching your breaths, you feel your mixed releases leaking out of your hole onto his now soft cock.

Smiling satisfactorily at this, Juho sets you down on your feet, adjusting the shower temperature to help you shower properly this time. Pulling you both under the water, he takes your shampoo, squeezing some onto his palm, he begins massaging your scalp, just the way you like it, applying the right pressure at the right spots. Feeling dizzy you let him take control again. After all, there is nothing more intimate than washing each other's hair.

[ddaenggtan]

say you want passion (i think you found it) | M

you’re a tease. he’s tired of it.

pairing | shownu x fem!reader

wc | 6.5k

genre/warning | Covid doesnt exist sorry, big dick shownu, sweetheart shownu, dom shownu, sub reader, shownu is called hyunwoo in this, he also likes to be called daddy dont judge, sloppy blowjobs, but still, blowjobs, Shownu eats pussy like a CHAMP, Strength Kink, praise, degradation, degrading praise, this is HIGHLY specialized, you've been warned, deepthroating, DEEP deepthroating at that, nsfw pictures, aka shownu likes to remember it when he does a good job so he takes a picture bc it lasts longer uwu, talking with your mouth full (ill let u guess), doggystyle, teasing, brief nipple play, hickeys, begging, dumbification, rough sex, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, coming inside, gspot shenanigans, this is genuinely so unrealistic please do not think sex is like this ever in real life, i mean literally ever if you ever fuck someone and it's like this then they aren't real they're a fae or a god or some shit okay, aftercare, shownu uses 3-in-1 because He Does, Barely Edited by the grace of @personawife​‘s beta that she fit in when she could ilu, 

a/n | first n last shownu smut specifically bc its leilas birthday (@honiboyyoon​). u better enjoy this. (side note for anyone who isn’t into shownu smut, but is curious: there’s a namjoon version on ao3 that i’ll link here), but this took entirely too much effort and i did my damndest to fit as many things that ur into in this one fic as i possibly could. i hope this makes up for u probably never getting the vampire maknae line foursome i kept promising you sdfkldjsfasdf

The front door opens as you step out of the car, and you grin as your boyfriend appears in the frame. He grins at you and your best friend and you search his expression for a sign of anything other than his usual sweetness, but find none. You resist the urge to pout - you won’t give him the satisfaction. 

“Good luck!” Your best friend teases. You roll your eyes at her - she knows precisely what you envisioned upon arriving back to the quaint little house you call home with Hyunwoo. It’s the reason you wore this outfit, and tried on the clothes you did whilst shopping, and sent him selfies in the poses you did. 

You’re on a mission, dammit. It’s been weeks - literal weeks, not even an exaggeration - since you were properly fucked, and you’re fairly tired of prancing around the house in your shortest shorts and deepest v-necks so that when you bend over just right to water your fern, he gets the perfect eyeful. It’s exhausting to try to send all these signals all day every day - but you know how flustered he gets when you ask him directly, so you tried a different tactic. You were being nice!

And it hasn’t worked. At all. He’s offered to help you water your plants, to let you borrow his flannel pajamas in case you’re cold, and even to buy you a sweater, at one point. 

In August. 

So suffice to say, you’re getting a little tired of him being oblivious. So you’d called up your best friend and invited her to go shopping with you, and yes, it was also very fun to hang out with her and get boba, but she’s also the master of hyping you up and making you feel sexy and desirable, so it was truly a win-win.

Plus, she color-coordinated her own houndstooth pantsuit with your pink houndstooth skirt/blazer combo, so really, you should send her a fruit basket or something. Maybe cookies. 

The point remains that your boyfriend hasn’t responded to any of your borderline pornographic selfies or the very pointed videos of you holding various sex toys and asking if it would fit. You’re at your wit’s end, and you were really hoping that it would truly get through to him this time that you want nothing more than to be railed against the mattress so hard that you cry. 

You’re a simple girl, after all. 

But no! He’s got that sweet smile on his face as you carry your shopping bags in one hand and your purse in the other, carefully sidestepping the cosmos he’d just planted the other day so you wouldn’t step all over his hard work. His smile widens when you reach the door, and he presses a sweet, gentle kiss against your forehead that has you on the verge of tears. 

He waves again to your best friend as she drives off, and as usual snags your shopping bags out of your hand so he can place them beside the door. You’ve already pulled your blazer off to hang in the entryway closet by the time he’s shut the door, and you gasp as you’re jerked back. His hands are on either side of your head, braced against the front door like it’s the only thing keeping him up, and you struggle to focus on anything that isn’t the way his muscles flex.

“Do you have any idea what today was like for me?” He growls. The sound of it brings heat between your thighs, and you resist the urge to cheer. 

“Sorry, should I not have sent you any selfies today?” You ask, keeping your voice as light and innocent as you can. He makes eye contact with you; there’s a fire in his eyes you haven’t seen in what feels like forever. “Did you not like them?”

“You know damn well what I thought of them,” he mutters, one hand coming down to rest on your hip. “I’ve tried so hard lately, y’know? The tiny shorts with your ass hanging out, the shirts that show everything when you bend over. God, the bending.”

“Really?” You breathe. It’s always exhilarating to know that you’re desired, but this is nearly heady. He fixes his gaze on you, eyes burning, and your smile softens slightly. 

“I was trying,” he says, clearly holding himself back, “To be a good boyfriend. To make sure that you know that I want more from you than just sex, and that I value you as more than just someone attractive. I was trying so hard to prove that you– that we have more between us than that. That I respect you more than that.”

“So don’t respect me.” You say it like it’s obvious, because it is. You’ve been laying down signals galore the past few weeks, and clearly he did not get the memo. 

“I’m always going to respect you,” he says instead, sighing slightly as he leans in to press his forehead against yours. “I don’t want to disrespect you, you’re worth more than that. But fuck, all I wanna do is fuck you stupid right now.”

“Please,” you whisper, biting your lip. It’s all you’ve wanted for weeks and now you might finally - finally - get it. “Disrespect me, daddy.”

The hand on your hip tightens, no doubt bruising the skin, and you gasp at the feeling. Hyunwoo makes eye contact - just long enough to make sure that you’re on board for whatever it is he’s about to do. 

He could probably suggest a number of things that you’ve never considered and you’d say yes, at this point - you’re not ashamed to admit that you’re desperate. 

The hand on your hips lowers - he traces all the way down your thigh and to the back of your knee before travelling back up, this time under your skirt. He kisses you as he does it - long, heated kisses that make your head spin so perfectly that you don’t know what he’s doing until he glides a finger across your clothed core. 

You gasp into the kiss, but it doesn’t deter him. He pulls down, kissing and biting down your jaw to your neck as his fingers trace over you once more. You can feel him smile against your skin. 

“You’re already soaked,” he tuts. “You’ve ruined this pair, princess. How naughty of you. Would you like daddy to take them off?”

“Yes!” You moan as his fingers ghost over your folds once more. 

“Yes what?” He asks, and you could cry with how much you want him. 

“Yes, daddy,” you tell him, and he smiles once more. It’s blinding, how bright he is when he smiles like that, and for a second you’re breathless. Then you feel them - his hands, burning a trail along your thigh to tug at the band of your underwear. It only takes him a few seconds to pull them down as he bends, and he kisses your thigh as he brings one of your legs up so he can slide them off completely. 

He was right - they are ruined, the evidence of your arousal immediately apparent by the large wet spot in the center. He doesn’t bother to slide them off your other leg, though - just lets them hang from your ankle, no doubt as a reminder of how strongly he affects you.

He presses kisses to every bit of skin he can as he stands fully upright once more, suckling a mark into your collarbone that you’ll absolutely cherish when you have to cover it up before work tomorrow. 

His hands don’t leave your thighs - warm and strong and utterly distracting, you can’t take your mind off them as he kisses you again, heady and intoxicating. You feel it as one hand travels back underneath your skirt again, gliding between your thighs. 

A moan sticks in your throat as his fingers slide in between your folds - the feeling of them teasing against your hole before they move to rub light circles into your clit is nearly too much to handle. 

“Hyunwoo, please–”

“Patience,” he interrupts. You can hear the smile in his voice as he slides over your hole once more, spreading your arousal across your lips before teasing your clit again. “Good girls have patience, right, princess?”

You whimper, hips arching off the door to try to guide his finger inside of you. It’s a futile attempt - he just returns to the slow, infuriating circles on your clit, and you would cry if it didn’t feel as good as it does. 

It could be hours or it could be seconds that he continues this pattern - slow, maddening circles on your clit, then the slightest bit of a tease at your hole, just enough to make you think that maybe he’ll fuck you with his fingers, before he returns to the circles. It’s enough to make a stronger woman cry, and you can’t help the whines that you let out when he once again deprives you of the fuck you so desperately want. 

“Please just fuck me,” you finally break, hands moving from where they’re wrapped around his neck to circle his waist and do your best to pull him in closer. You can feel him against your thigh, warm and thick and big, and you want him. 

He hisses when you grind against him, and the one hand that remains on your hip tightens ever so slightly. “You’re being very bad, princess,” he chastises, but you couldn’t care less. Your mind is focused on the memory of what he felt like inside you, and you’re ready to burst with need.

“I don’t care,” you tell him firmly, hands sliding up under his shirt to run your nails against his muscled torso. “I don’t care, I need you, please, I just want–”

“I know,” he cuts you off. His hands disappear from you entirely, but only for a moment - before you know it, two large hands wrap around your wrists, guiding yours out of his shirt. You can't stop whimpering, caught between the memory of the last time he was between your thighs and the reality of his lips against your skin.

Hyunwoo drops - he hits the wooden floor with a muffled thud, and before you can even react, his hands are underneath your skirt. He pushes it upwards, muttering something almost reverent about thighs as he does, and then he’s pressing soft kisses to the inside of your thighs. His hands don’t stop, though - they keep going, shoving your skirt up until it pools around your waist.

“H-Hyunwoo—”

“Ssh,” he whispers, giving your thigh a light bite. A heartbeat later and you can feel his warm breath against your folds. “You wanted to feel good, right?”

“Yes, please,” you breathe, hands instinctively tangling in his soft brown hair. 

“Then be a good slut for me, and stay still while I make you feel good." 

You stifle a whimper - he knows what his words do to you, and you jolt as his tongue gently nudges against your folds. There's no stopping the soft sigh that falls from your lips as he delves deeper, ghosting across your swollen clit to nudge against your hole. He's tentative, teasing with his movements - he likes to make you wait, tease you until you're grinding against his mouth.

You doubt this will be an exception.

A moan is thrust out of you as you feel your hole stretch slightly. Not much, not far - just enough to accommodate him as he fucks your hole with his tongue. It's just the right side of unsatisfying - you're aching, absolutely dripping for him, and this is just enough to whet your appetite and make you hungry for more.

You can feel his smile against you, and you already know what's coming - still, it's disappointing when he pulls his tongue out. You whine, unashamed of how you must sound or how loud you may be, and he chuckles.

"Patience, baby girl," he breathes. Warm air flows over you, and your hands move to tangle in his hair. His tongue shifts again, lapping at your clit for long enough that you think you may cum before he stops to draw mind-numbing circles around it instead.

Time bends around the two of you - it always does when he's between your thighs like this, when he's teasing and deliberate with every swipe of his tongue against you, every press of him against your hole. He edges you for so long; slow circles around your clit turn to quick thrusts inside of you that shift into laps against your hole that drag upward, just barely catching your clit before they stop.

You're sure there would be a puddle on the floor were it not for his dedication. The entire house is filled with the sounds of his mouth against you, only drowned out by the sound of your cries as he begins to suck on your clit.

Your knees quake on either side of his head, and he doesn't hesitate to bring his hands up behind your thighs. Without a second thought, he lifts - not even pausing in his mission, tongue still thrusting into you at an almost absurd rate - and then your thighs are resting atop his shoulders. You gasp, both in shock and in pleasure as he lets his teeth graze ever so lightly against that bundle of nerves.

This isn't the first time he's done this - put you on his shoulders and left you there while he eats you out within an inch of your life - but it's the first time in a long time, and it has you seeing stars as one of your hands stays tangled in his hair and the other is braced against the wall beside you.

"Hyunwoo, please–" You beg, but you can't catch your breath long enough between moans to say anything more. He sucks again, the flat of his tongue gliding over your clit as it's pulled into his mouth once more, and your vision goes white. Your knees quake, and you're sure that if you had been standing, you wouldn't be anymore.

"That's my girl," Hyunwoo praises after he's done cleaning up your cum. When you can see again, you realize he's set you down on the floor and is slowly massaging your thighs.

"Hyun, I....please....can you–"

"You want me to fuck you stupid, baby?" He asks. His tone is a little patronizing, but that's okay, because it only serves to turn you on more. "Does my sweet little whore need my cock in her?"

"Yes, please," you whimper, hips tilting upwards against nothing of their own accord.

Hyunwoo stands and hooks his thumbs into the waistband of his grey sweats. A few moments later he's pulled them down just enough to free himself. Your mouth drops open slightly when you finally lay eyes on him - you know he's big. You know that he is big, you've had his entire length inside of you several times now and you've felt it for days after each time, but it still never fails to shock you.

Because he is big. Thick, so thick you can hardly wrap your entire fist around him, and long, with the perfect curve that hits that spot inside of you that makes your toes curl. His dick is nearly as perfect as he is, and that is a very high bar.

It's also so hard that you can see it throbbing, jumping every so often as his muscles tense.

"You want me to make you come with my cock, right, baby?" He asks, once again using that patronizing tone that makes heat creep across your cheeks.

You nod.

"Then you're going to have to ask nicely, aren't you?" He prods.

"Please, daddy," you say without hesitation, "Please fuck me, I want you to make me cum so hard that I cry, I want to be a good slut for you."

"Very good, baby," he praises. "Now I want you to prove that you mean it. Can you be a good little whore and suck my cock?"

You lean forward, not even bothering to use your hands because your bones still feel like jelly. You run your tongue across the tip of him, giving small kitten licks to the slit just how he likes. A groan rumbles through him, and he lets out a soft gasp as you slip your tongue down to wet the shaft as well. 

"Fuck, princess," he moans, "I think you've gotten even better at this."

Encouraged, you let your mouth hang open– just barely wide enough to get your lips around the shaft– and let your tongue rest on your spit-slick lips. You glance up long enough to see that Hyunwoo's eyes are blown wide with his desire before you mouth sloppily down his dick. It's messy and would probably be disgusting if it were anyone but the two of you and Hyunwoo didn't have that look in his eyes that promises you'll remember tonight for several weeks. 

His hands move, one adjusting his grip on the doorframe as you suck the head of his cock between your lips while the other comes down to grip one of the two buns you put your hair in that morning. He tugs - not hard, not yet, but firmly enough that it stings slightly and makes you keen.

"If you're going to make a mess, don't you think you should clean it up?" He asks. You lift a brow and he grins. "Clearly you're not that tired if you still have an attitude."

"No," you whine, "I am tired, my bones are basically nonexistent right now thanks to you."

The hand in your hair loosens slightly, and Hyunwoo tuts. "I have to do all the work, huh? Then get on your knees for me, baby girl, so I can use you like a good toy." 

You rush to comply, and only wince a bit at the feeling of the cold floor against your knees. His hand stays where it is the entire time you're moving, but he waits until you're sitting still, legs folded under you and giving you that extra bit of height you'll need. 

"Let me know if it's too much," Hyunwoo commands, and you nod. His eyes darken, slightly, and he runs his thumb along your jaw. "What's the signal?"

"Two taps on your thigh," You tell him, not for the first time. He's always so careful beforehand, and while you appreciate just how much he cares about you, you also are sick of just staring at his cock, and your mouth is beginning to water. 

Hyunwoo coos slightly, and the hand in your hair shifts to guide rather than just anchor. "You're always so good for me," he mutters as he slides the tip past your lips. "Always such a good little slut." 

You don't stop the whimper that escapes your throat – he loves them, and you know it. Your mouth is lax, nothing more than a hole for him to fill as he sees fit, and there's the slightest twinge of complaint as your jaw begins to stretch. 

You ignore it, determined to get as much of him as possible this time. You've practiced for this, nearly every day, since the last time and you're not stopping until you beat your record. 

Hyunwoo sighs as he hits the back of your throat. "God, you're perfect," he mutters as he begins to slide back out. You let your jaw relax a bit as he does, and when just the tip rests on your tongue, you give it a small kiss, just because you can. 

Hyunwoo smiles, gaze softening for a split second. "Hands in position, baby girl," he reminds you, and you do as he says – one hand on back of each of his thighs, so you can tap out if you need to. 

Also so you can feel those incredible muscles flex as he starts shallow thrusts, rippling and tensing under your fingers. If your mouth weren't otherwise occupied, you'd bite them. 

Hyunwoo continues carefully, testing just how much of himself can fit before you start to gag on his length….and just how long you can choke before you really start to need air. 

He pulls back before you even need to tap out, always careful to keep an eye on you for any warning signs. He slides back in and waits until he hits the back of your throat again, pushing slightly further, and just as he's about to begin pulling back out, you look up at him with wide eyes.

You know you look like a mess; drool gathering on your lips because your mouth is too full to hold it, tears streaming down your cheeks from your attempts to stop gagging. Hyunwoo loves it when you look ruined like this, adores taking your perfectly crafted image and crumbling it to pieces in his hands. 

So it's no surprise when he lets out a low moan, or when he lets himself slip a little further down your throat. This is as far as he's ever gotten and you want him to know how good you are, how hard you've been practicing  with the toys underneath your bed. He slides out, precum dripping onto your tongue as he does, and you bat your lashes at him.

"Use me," you tell him. "Use me like the toy that I am for you, Daddy." Something darkens in his eyes and he doesn't hesitate to thrust  back in.

Your eyes water with the force of it and you don't stop the moan that escapes you as he slides deeper down your throat than he's ever been before. There's still a couple inches left before he'd be fully sheathed, but Hyunwoo doesn't even seem to notice as he pulls out just to thrust back in.

Neither of you are quiet — you can barely hear the wet squelch of your mouth. It's drowned out by the moans he draws from you, which in turn pull moans from him between the words he growls out.

"God, you're so perfect," he mutters as he fucks your throat with abandon. "The perfect angel slut, so good at getting throatfucked, just made for my cock no matter where it goes, huh? You're such a good whore, you're probably fucking soaked just from my dick in your mouth, aren't you?"

You whimper around him and he speeds up, relentless; he's not wrong either — you are soaked, can feel it between your thighs as your hips rock fruitlessly against empty air.

"Oh, look at you," Hyunwoo coos, "So desperate to be fucked while sucking me off. Maybe one day I'll get one of your buddies over here to fuck your throat while you ride my cock, since you're so desperate to get used like a good slut. But I don't even think that'll be enough, will it? Because they won't be me." He thrusts a little deeper, a little rougher, and you aren't sure if the noises you're making are as loud as they seem to you but either way, they only serve to egg him on. 

"No," Hyunwoo continues, "They won't be Daddy, will they? They won't be able to get this deep in your throat, won't be able to fuck you like this. And you know why? Because this is my hole." He punctuates the sentence with a sharp thrust and you squeeze the backs of his thighs to show your agreement. "You're my perfect slut. My good little whore. Isn't that right, baby girl?"

You squeeze the backs of his thighs again, but it isn't enough. He stills, still buried nearly to the hilt inside you, and cocks a brow.

"Well? Aren't you my perfect whore?" Your face flames, heat burning in your cheeks. Your jaw aches from being stretched for so long, there spit and precum dripping down your chin  and you can feel him throbbing in your throat. 

And Hyunwoo looks expectant. He wants to hear you agree with him, wants you to remind yourself of this fact.

You don't even blink when he pulls his phone out of the pocket of his sweats. You can't see what he does, but based on how he angles it and the shallow thrusts he gives without looking away from the screen, you can guess. 

"Aw, is my baby girl getting shy now?" He teases as you make eye contact with the lens and feel your face heat up. "Don't even worry about it, baby. I just wanna remember how fucking perfect you look right now forever. My perfect cocksucking slut."

You whimper, pussy clenching around nothing and you're overcome with a sudden need to feel him inside you.

"Are you gonna be a good slut now?" Hyunwoo continues, still recording. "Are you daddy's good slut?" You nod and can't stop the reflexive swallow as he goes even deeper. Hyunwoo groans at the feeling and you can see his grip on his phone tighten for a moment.

"Say it," he commands when his eyes open once more. "I want to hear you say it."

" 'm 'a'y's 'er'ec' 'ore," you moan. It doesn't even sound like words, at this point, but when you look back up at him with wide eyes. Hyunwoo looks proud.

"You absolutely are," he whispers. He hits a button and then pockets his phone again. He slides carefully out of your mouth and casually strokes his cock with one hand as he wipes spit from your face with the other. "I think you've been a perfect angel, baby girl, so you've earned your reward. Where would you like it?"

"Bed, please, Daddy." Your voice is hoarse and scratchy, but you don't care, and Hyunwoo doesn't seem to either as he pulls his sweats up and then bends. The world spins for a moment and then steadies, and you realize he's got you in his arms. Hyunwoo carries you like a princess towards the room you share, and tosses you on the bed without hesitation.

Your eyes widen as he starts to strip out of his clothes, and you can't deny that you enjoy the show. The torso of muscles all rippling, the golden skin all shining, the desire in his eyes. Then the sweats — they hit the ground with a thud and you idly hope his phone is alright before you remember there are more important things right now.

He is, unsurprisingly, still hard — almost painfully so, a deep swollen pink at the head and jumping every so often. The vein running up the underside is throbbing, and you can actually feel yourself get wetter with anticipation.

One knee rests on the mattress, then the other, and Hyunwoo is crawling towards you on his hands and knees, and you can see every muscle as it shifts and fuck you love this man.

"I love you," you tell him, not for the first time. He breaks for a second, a bright smile taking over his face.

"I love you," he replies, pressing a kiss to your thigh. "Can we take those clothes off now, baby, because as great as you look, you're even better naked."

Breath catches in your throat and you nod. Hyunwoo is almost reverent as his hands glide up your thighs and is exceedingly gentle as he slides down the zipper and then the skirt itself. He smiles again, almost shy, and you can't help but marvel at the fact that this is the same man who bad you gagging on his dick not five minutes ago.

He leans in and gently nudges your nose with his, but when you lean forward to kiss him, he backs away with a playful grin. His warm hand rests on your waist and he leans in again only to dart back when you try to kiss him — not far, though. He's still close enough that you can feel the heat of his breath mix with yours, but it's still infuriating. 

You pout at him, and his smile just grows. "What is it?" He asks, teasing. "What do you want?" His lips ghost over yours as he speaks and it nearly breaks you.

"You," You whine. "I want you."

"You have me." He leans forward then, capturing your lips with an intensity you haven't seen in a long time. His mouth moves against yours and it's firm, commanding, and absolutely intoxicating as he pulls back just to lightly bite your lips. It's not rough, not really, but it's fiery and exciting and everything you've wanted. 

He presses closer, nimble fingers undoing the buttons of your blouse in what seems like an instant. Warm hands cross your spine and then your bra is gone, too. His skin seems to meld to yours, hands moving everywhere as he lays you back. 

Your breath hitches when you feel him against your entrance and he smiles into the bruise he's sucking into your throat. 

"You're so fucking wet, baby," he breathes as his tip teases against your entrance. "You're always so wet for me, so ready to be fucked. Just a perfect fucking whore, huh?" He slides in then, but only a bit. Just like before, it's just barely enough for you to feel him stretching you out. Just a tease of what's to come.

"Hyunwoo," you whine. You can see the amusement in his eyes as he chuckles.

"What is it? You want more?" He slides in further, but just a centimeter. You whine again, pushing your hips up against his to try to push him deeper. You can feel yourself throbbing, aching, for him, and you're tired of being teased. You want to be full. 

You tell him as much, watching his pupils dilate with every word until there's hardly any iris left to be seen. 

"Is that so?" He mutters, almost to himself. "Well, your wish is my command." He slides in, slowly, but this time he doesn't stop. He just keeps going and going and going, until you can feel him at your cervix. It stings – you're stretched so far, and he's so deep inside – but you relish it. 

"Beautiful," Hyunwoo mutters as he begins to slide back out, inch by agonizing inch. You whimper as the tip nearly slides out, too, and your hips lift of their own accord. Hyunwoo takes the hint and pushes back in; he creates a rhythm, one so slow, so maddening, that you're on the verge of tears as you whine and whimper underneath him. 

He notices your frustration, pulls himself away from lazily mouthing at your nipples, and hums. 

"What's wrong, baby? You aren't satisfied yet?" He gives you that Boy-Next-Door grin that you know hides a demon behind it. "Are you going to ask nicely again? Tell me no one fills you up like I do and beg me to fuck you the way you want? You look so pretty when you beg."

Any other time, you wouldn't. You would at least hesitate, make him work a little harder for your pleas. But you're desperate and frustrated and have no shame, so you don't hesitate. 

"Please, Daddy," you beg, letting your legs fall open and arching your back so his eyes drop lower and lower. "Please, Daddy, no one can fill this pussy like you do, no one can fuck my holes like you. Pl–please," you moan as he slides entirely inside once more, "Please fuck me right, make me come on your cock, I wan– wanna be fucked stupid, want you to– to fuck me stupid, please, wanna be Daddy's perfect slut, pl– Ah!"

You can't help your surprised gasp as Hyunwoo flips you onto your stomach with a low growl.

Warmth drapes along your back as you rise up, palms splayed across the sheets and elbows locked to keep you upright; his skin is sweat-slick and heated against your own, and a shiver runs down your spine when he pauses to runs his teeth along the lobe of your ear. 

"You are the best part of my life," he announces.

Butterflies explode in your belly a split second before he slides out of you.

"And I'm gonna make you cum so hard that you'll never forget that fact."

"Hyunwo— Oh!"

He thrusts into you with enough force to toss you into the headboard, had he not planted one hand firmly on your hip and had the other curled around your breast to tease your nipple. 

"You like that?" Hyunwoo asks with a smile in his voice. He repeats the movement and you clench around him as you gasp out a moan.  It's all you can do to nod and he flicks your nipple in response. "Good."

He lifts up, both hands now holding you steady by an iron grip on your hips, and readjusts his legs so yours are spread slightly wider. Your arms are trembling but you pay them no mind. 

Until Hyunwoo thrusts forward, pulling back just as quickly only to bury himself again, a heartbeat later. His pace is absolutely merciless; the sound of skin hitting skin fills the room, mixing beautifully with the wet slide as he shoves back in and the rough, throat moans that he pulls from you. Your vision swims, and you can't concentrate on anything else as he gives you the fucking that's been haunting your dreams every night. 

He adjusts his grip, one hand moving to sit firmly on the small of your back and press you down just a bit. The angle shifts – not much, but enough that the next time he pounds into you, he thrusts right up against that spot that makes your toes curl. 

You cry out, vision going white as he hits it again, and again, and again, absolutely ruthless in his mission. Your muscles go weak, biceps twitching as they give out, and then you're face down in the mattress. Hyunwoo doesn't hesitate, just ghosts his palm down to rest between your shoulders and keep you in place. 

He might be talking – you certainly think you hear the low tones of his voice as he speaks to you, but you can't make out words. It's too much work, too many syllables, too much effort to try to work past the haze that blankets your mind. You can still feel him, pumping in and out of your gushing pussy — the stretch barely stings anymore, and he throbs inside of you.  Each thrust is still perfectly angled to hit that mind-numbing place that keeps you from doing anything more than screeching his name. 

He slows, immediately switching from speed to power as he manages to put even more force behind his hips. The hand in your back moves, as does the one on your hip and then you're rising.

A warm palm across your throat – not choking,  just keeping you in place while the other traces along your spread thigh. 

There are words – something your brain is too fried to make out, and then a rumble that vibrates through you. A laugh. His thrusts get a little faster as he fucks up into you, and you're dimly aware of his fingers slipping between your folds. 

Someone screams — no, not someone. You. You scream, something so loud and provocative that it can't even be called a moan anymore, as he begins to rub circles around your clit. Orgasms rock through you,  every part of your body going boneless even as you shake from the force of it. It's impossible to tell when it stops, if it stops – the aftershocks are strong and he still hasn't stopped fucking you, though he's slower and gentler now, letting you ride it out on his cock. 

"……perfect for me, " you hear him whisper as you're senses come back. "Absolutely perfect, an amazing fucking— just divine, you are."

"Hyun," you manage, and it's no shock that you sound absolutely wrecked.  "D– Daddy."

"I'm here, baby girl," he mutters, "What do you need?"

"You," You respond instantly. "Want you, wanna fee– feel it, want you to fill me, please, in– ah, inside, want you dripping ou–" You're cut off once more as your body heaves with yet another aftershock, clenching around his hard length again. 

"Whatever you want, baby," he promises. "Can you come once more for me, baby girl? Just one more time so we can come together?"

"Mm…." You pause, taking the best inventory you can as your muscles jolt again. You consider lying to him, or just omitting this, because you know he'll never stop reminding you of it, but decide against it. Instead, you quietly admit,  "I don't think I ever stopped."

"Oh, fuck," he breathes. Within moments, you can feel his thrusts turn more erratic, more frenzied, and then you're impossibly fuller even as something warm drips down the inside of your thigh. 

He's gentle as he lays you down on the bedspread, exceedingly so as he pulls his softening cock out of you. His weight disappears from the bed for a few minutes that seem to stretch into hours, and then the mattress dips, and his soft smile appears once more. 

"Here sweetheart, drink this." He hands you a familiar cup and when you take a sip, the water is cool and refreshing. Wet warmth, surprising but pleasant, glides along your inner thigh and you look down to see him cleaning you up. 

"Mm, this is quite possibly the perfect view," you tease, wagging your brows as you make a show of checking out his muscular arms. It makes him laugh, the soft one that's just for when you're being ridiculous. 

"Drunk your water, you menace," he commands as he continues to wipe. "You're gonna need to replenish your fluids, after all that." He looks pointedly towards the bed and you follow his gaze, face heating when your eyes land on the rather sizable wet spot staining the sheets. 

"Whoops?" You offer. When you look back at him, he only looks fond. 

"Don't even start, it was hot. Besides, they needed to be put in the wash anyway.  I'll start them after you get into the bath." He gives over you, taking kisses along every piece of skin he can until he reaches your lips. You can't help the way your breath catches – even after all this time, he manages to make you breathless over the smallest things.

He peppers kisses along your cheeks, and nose, and everywhere else until you're giggling and trying to turn away from him. Unfortunately, with his arms on either side of you, you're fairly well trapped, so you settle for fucking your head into his neck instead. 

You pause. Sniff again. Back up. He looks sheepish, like he already knows what you're going to say. 

"We were out of the fancy stuff—" He tries, but you don't let him. 

"You used that 3-in-1 shit again?" You demand. "Actual body wash isn't even fancy, it's what normal people use! That's it, you're coming into the bath with me after you start the laundry so that I can make sure you didn't use it in your hair, too."

He smiles again, though you have a sneaking suspicion that he's just humoring you when he nods and says, "Whatever you want."

[woulddieforperrytheplatypus]

What're some of your favorite moments between Doof and Perry during Phineas and Ferb?

You have absolutely no idea how fucking long I spent making this video fhdsjahkjaf I’m gonna gush under the cut about why I liked each one so y’all don’t have to deal with me if you don’t want to lol

These are in no particular order. They’re just numbered to line up with the reasoning. I added lil descriptions to each of them but you’ll probably have to either watch the video first or have a pretty good memory of the show to understand them lol

1. “Dr. Wexler, you’re a platypus?” (A Hard Day’s Knight)

Literally just the way he says, “Dr. Wexler, you’re a platypus?”

2. “Is every platypus named Perry?” and then Perry bites him (AT2D)

M O N C H (also Heinz calls him cute) (also also “We do not bite the elderly!”)

3. Perry tries to fly him and Heinz home from the desert but Heinz flips the turbo switch and they lose the jetpack (Road to Danville)

“Like you didn’t know about my switch-flipping compulsion!” They’re literally an old married couple omfg I can’t even (also moment of appreciation for the fact that they’re close enough that Heinz just assumes Perry knows about his switch-flipping compulsion) (another moment of appreciation because Perry probably does)

4. The end of the Perry/Doof subplot of Terrifying Tri-State Trilogy of Terror

First of all, the way Perry decides to run under his giant floating head when going around would take two extra seconds? Beautiful. And, of course, Perry’s fucking smirk because that’s just not his problem lmaooo

5. The pause in the FIGHT FIGHT IT’S A PLATYPUS FIGHT (Doofapus)

I love that they literally just stop mid-fight to have tea. I firmly believe there is no other pair of nemeses that would do that and this is just how Heinz and Perry work. Also, Perry’s smile? He feels so understood? It’s so pure?

6. Vanessa lets Perry in before he can break down the door with his rocket launcher and then Perry accidentally shoots it through the wall (My Sweet Ride)

“This is why I can never have anything nice -_-”

7. Heinz doesn’t trap Perry (Road to Danville)

He’s so confused fjdahfksdhfak he literally goes out of his way to get trapped at that point (even if he pretends he doesn’t) and Heinz flipped the script on him without telling him and his lil shrug is so cute and I just jsfhkjadhsk

8. There’s a Platypus Controlling Me (Brain Drain)

You had to know this one was gonna be there

9. “In your letters, you said your nemesis was a suave, semi-aquatic personification of unstoppable dynamic fury” (Oil on Candace)

The fact that Heinz sent his ex-professor a letter gushing about his nemesis is just *chef’s kiss*

10. Perry and Dennis are fighting in giant puppets in the street and Heinz recognizes Perry piloting the puppet because of his fighting style (The Return of the Rogue Rabbit)

I’m pretty sure this is the only time Heinz ever recognizes Perry without his hat on (correct me if I’m wrong tho) and the fact that it’s literally just because Perry punched the fuckin camera kills me every time

11. Heinz is worried they won’t make his play in time so Perry tells him to flip the turbo switch (Road to Danville)

Perry just trusts him so much??? Flipping the switch was what got them into that mess in the first place??? But Perry cares so much about Heinz making his LOVEMUFFIN play that he’s willing to give it another go??? I love it???

12. DANCE BABY DANCE BABY HANDS IN THE AIR (Candace Disconnected)

I feel like we don’t get to see Perry just kinda hanging out like that a lot. He’s always doing that steely glare, even when they’re having fun. I don’t think Perry really realizes how emotionless he can look sometimes (the beginning and end of Sidetracked are from Perry’s POV especially at the end, the way he acts with the boys shows too much character for a secret agent, so even though he seems to think it’s obvious that he’s all lovey dovey with them, he does much too good a job at hiding his emotions) but it’s nice to see him drop the facade every now and then

13. Heinz calls Monogram because Perry hasn’t shown up (Perry the Actorpus)

I know Perry’s not technically in this one but I love that Heinz a) calls OWCA when Perry doesn’t show up and b) looks so nervous as he calls OWCA because Perry hasn’t shown up

14. Perry brings Heinz a glass of water (Road to Danville)

Half this episode is just them being mad at each other because they blame the other one for sticking them in the desert with way home, and I love that even though Perry’s been fuming pretty much the entire time, the second Heinz actually starts yelling at him, he’s immediately hit with a wave of guilt (also I love that he somehow found a glass of water in the middle of the desert?)

15. “YOU PEED ON MY COUCH!” (AT2D)

Not gonna lie, I mostly picked this one for shits and giggles BUT that doesn’t mean I can’t overanalyze it because that’s what I do best. Perry’s whole role in the show is to tie together the two completely unrelated plots, and that’s only so entertaining because not only does neither side know the other, but neither side knows what version of Perry the other side knows. This is the first time Heinz has really connected mindless pet Perry with Agent P Perry, and I feel like that was the most interesting part of the movie was that Phineas, Ferb, Candace, and Heinz all saw a side of Perry they didn’t know. 

16. Heinz invites Perry out for lunch (The Quietest Day Ever)

Heinz doesn’t even know he got hit with the de-handsome-inator. He literally just thinks he lost, and his immediate reaction is to ask if Perry wants to hang out. I just love those lil insights into their relationship when they’re not fighting. Also, perry.exe has stopped working.

17. Honestly just all of Father’s Day

I hate knowing that chronologically, Father’s Day had to happen probably less than halfway through the summer and not towards the end like it does in the episode order. It’s such a sweet turning point in their relationship. Perry’s head all these horrible backstories about Mr. Doofenshmirtz and I can only assume he hates the guy, but he’s still so supportive of Heinz trying to win his approval -- and he’s supportive when that fails and Heinz needs someone to lean on.

18. Perry Lays An Egg

T H W A R T   M E   P E R R Y   T H E   P L A T Y P U S 

19. Heinz proving he knows how to shut the fuck up by refusing to shut the fuck up (Road to Danville)

Perry’s literally about to fight a bitch and I can’t blame him. I also like the lil look into Heinz’s thoughts with the “it’s not like I have to fill the space” line because it really explains a lot about him.

20. Perry waiting for the New Year’s ball to drop and for Heinz to finish his scheme (Happy New Year!)

Once again, a beautiful look at how their entire relationship is based on their routine and knowing what to expect. It wouldn’t be Heinz and Perry if there was not punching and kicking involved. (Also, Perry’s smug face while he waits) (Also also, Perry’s lil shrug)

21. Heinz invites Perry to hang out in his house in the suburbs (Put That Putter Away)

GIVE PERRY A DAY OFF (but for real I love that Heinz literally just asked if he wanted to hang out, AND that he assured Perry that he’d make sure he didn’t get in trouble with Monogram for it)

22. The end of Sidetracked

THEY? HOLD? HAND???

23. “The thing that’s kept me from succeeding all these years is YOU!” *turns finger around* (Road to Danville)

PERRY IS SO DONE WITH HIS SHlT I CAN’T FDJAFHDJLSFHDSAKJ

24. Roger tries to say hi to sleeping Perry (Just Our Luck)

How often does Perry have to fall asleep around Heinz for the guy to know he gets testy when someone wakes him up?

25. The brief New Year’s dance break (Happy New Year!)

THEIR DANCING IS SO FAST AND SO IN SYNC EITHER THEY REHEARSED THIS OR THEY JUST KNOW EACH OTHER SO WELL THAT IT JUST HAPPENS NATURALLY AND I WOULD DIE FOR THEM OKAY

26. Perry accidentally became famous for advertising tools and then shows up at DEI (Perry the Actorpus)

He’s so happy to see his nemesis again :,)

27. “You think I’m evil, right?” *finger guns* (Oil on Candace)

Perry is at least partially responsible for how horribly that day went, but that’s his job is to make sure evil scientists don’t impress other evil scientists. You don’t want, like, an evil scientist team up or whatever. But I’m decently sure there’s nothing in the job description that says Perry has to stick around and assure his nemesis that he’s good at being evil, so that’s all Perry’s doing.

28. Perry pulled an all nighter and shows up at DEI asleep and Heinz has to try not to wake him up (Just Our Luck)

The amount of respect it takes for Heinz to see his nemesis sleeping on the job and go out of his way not to wake him up (but to make sure he’s still included, of course; he’s not a disrespectful guy, even if he is evil) warms my heart

29. Perry shows Heinz a bunch of their pictures together (This Is Your Backstory)

a) I love that Perry carries those pictures in his wallet 

b) I love that those pictures exist at all

 c) I love that Heinz has enjoyed his nemesisship with Perry so much that it basically negates every tragic backstory

[thebestpersonherelovesbucky]

hey could you please write a thing where bucky gets captured to have leverage against the new captain america?

Leverage

Rating: M Warnings: N/A Length: 7.1k words Chapters 1/1 complete

Summary: They kept their relationship a secret for a reason. They thought they'd been doing a good job. They were wrong.

Sample: The tapping grabs Bucky’s attention. The noise makes him lift his head out of his hands but he cannot recall when he sat down on the bench and got in the position. On the other side of the glass is the same woman as earlier. Immaculately dressed. Posture regal and proper. Dark brown hair pinned up and back with a streak of purple through it. At the moment, she’s wearing sunglasses. Indoors.

When Bucky doesn’t respond beyond lifting his head, she taps again on the glass. Even after all those years in cryo, Bucky’s never felt more like a fucking goldfish.

“Can you hear me, darling?” she asks. “Am I getting through to you?” Bucky folds his arms over his chest and that must be enough confirmation for her. “Ah. Good.”

She removes her glasses and assesses him with a pair of dark brown eyes. Precise. Calculating. There’s much more to her than meets the eye. Bucky wouldn’t be surprised if she’s the one who orchestrated the entire trap that got him here in the first place. Sending him that video of kidnapped children. Demanding he come alone if they were to be saved. Exploiting his desire to make up for the horrible things Hydra made him do and be an actual hero. To find his balance as he stumbles through this new version of life.

“Can I get you anything? Food? Water? A blanket, maybe?”

All of those things are very tempting. Bucky can’t remember when he last ate and the air is too dry in here and, yes, he is very cold. It takes a lot not to shiver. But he’s not going to give her the satisfaction of letting her know any of that so he just deepens the glare.

“Straight to business, then? Very well.” She laces her fingers and rests her hands in front of her. “I suppose you’re wondering why we’ve brought you here.”

“No.” Bucky shakes his head. “Not really. I’m used to people trying to use me.”

“Oh, I’m sure you are. You know, I must say, when I…” She chuckles softly to herself. “When I saw you in Madripoor with Baron Zemo and Mr. Wilson, I--”

“That’s Captain Wilson, to you.”

Bucky’s assertion gives her pause. His jaw tightens. It isn’t smart to say anything, he knows this, but he won’t let this woman--he won’t let anyone--disrespect Sam. Not in front of him.

Unfortunately, Bucky’s desire to defend Sam also makes her smirk. Hidden in the corners of her mouth are vulgar interests.

“I stand corrected.” She concedes with a slight nod of her head. “When I saw you with the Baron and Captain Wilson, I thought I really hit the jackpot. Which.” She pauses for another chuckle. “If you’re someone like me who has no need for a jackpot is really saying something. You’re quite the hot commodity, Mr. Barnes. Do you have any idea how much the Winter Soldier would go for on the black market?”

No, not really, but Bucky isn’t surprised that there are people out there who would pay for such a thing. At least he knows he’s an expensive son of a bitch. Bucky gives her saucy grin.

“What can I say?” He shrugs a shoulder. “I’m honored.”

As if completely disinterested in his sarcasm, she flicks her eyebrows and licks her teeth before getting on with it.

“Since I can buy, well, pretty much anything I want, I’d been hoping to purchase you and put you to…good use. Oh, don’t worry, dear.” She waves her hand as if Bucky shouldn’t be concerned about any of this. “We’ll figure out a way to do that eventually. After all, why settle for one supersoldier when you can have two, am I right?”

Two supersoldiers?

“I knew normal persuasion wouldn’t work on you so I found a new way to use you. For now.”

Bucky doesn’t have time to worry about who the other supersoldier is. Right now, he needs to be more concerned with how she intends to, as she’s put it, use him.

Which starts with her taking her phone from her back pocket and holding it out like she means to take a picture of him. Bucky scoffs.

“You want me to do a song and dance for ya, too?”

“No, no, dear,” she says. “This will work just fine. You look fab.”

“I’m so happy to oblige.”

He briefly wonders what she might do with the pictures she’s taking. Maybe upload them to the internet for some reason.

“I do wish you’d smile.” She clicks her teeth. “I’m sure your new Captain America would like to get one picture of you smiling.”

[ooc-but-stylish]

freezedive:

I think I said it in one of your other beautiful posts, but I thought I’d mention it again. All of the ridiculous cutscenes did give us a golden nugget of information on Luna that most of us who are brutally critical of her (like you and me), suspected all along: Luna openly admits to Gentiana that she doesn’t think she has anything to offer Noctis outside of being an oracle. And Gentiana makes it worse by speaking in fancy words by saying some bullshit about her being the oracle is her being human or something and that she is fulfilling her true calling and that is what Noctis needs? Idk but it reeked of emotional manipulation. 

I hold little to no regard for Ravus because there’s evidence Luna was being brutally beaten right under his own nose while he was busy being the Emperor’s lapdog thinking it could maybe give him the power to save his sister? The man should have opened his eyes and defended her against the men that kept them jailed

I happened on this reply to roxainn’s post while trying to recapitulate all my other FFXV critical posts and reblogs on the way to making new ones. 

Crawling back to find anything about this point, I find that it was posted 3 years ago. But at least I reblogged the reply to it.... and missed that it was literally @ ME. Goddamn did I slack.

But here’s my reply, 3 years late, which should elaborate on where I stand on this.

Yes, the flashback that gets triggered by a random creepy little girl in Tenebrae is about Luna and Gentiana. Somehow the little girl knew about that conversation even though she wasn’t there to witness it first-hand? Or maybe Noctis was imagining what the conversation would be like between Gentiana and Luna off of the vague suggestion from the girl, and it’s just him telling on himself that his imagination of Luna says all that? Otherwise the not-altogether-tinfoil-hat theory says it’s Gentiana in the form of a little girl, telling Noctis something that IMO should piss him off but just makes him sad and guilty because Luna loved him so much, don’t you see. She loved him so much that after wrapping her entire life around him, she’d just want to keep that going for the rest of their lives!

Gentiana opens the conversation with, “At first, the father had mourned the fate of his chosen son. Yet in Tenebrae, the two found solace. It was not the Oracle who assuaged their fears. But the girl…she holds…the true power.”

Then Luna replies, “I have little to offer a king, other than the voice afforded the Oracle. Nevertheless…” She turns to look at the wedding dress. “And—I’m afraid he might find this foolish… But…to be together with Noctis again, even if only for a short while… It…would mean the world to me. I do not seek to guide him, merely to stand beside him.”

The exchange is all types of fucky.

First off, she was twelve. What comfort could she have offered Regis and Noctis? What comfort was she capable of when Sylva was right there, an adult with experience of an Oracle and a personality thanks to a presumable full life not hampered by grooming of the gods? 

Second, every other scene of Luna as a child is of her telling Noctis his duty, and that it was her duty to see it through. Did that assuage his fears-- the fears he didn’t have at the time since he never knew the entire meaning of his fate and was being told a saccharine, embellished version of it by Luna right there? Did that comfort Regis, knowing a little girl would also die to protect his son if the gods wanted it, but that she wouldn’t have the will to avert their fates whatsoever? 

Third, even she thinks Noctis would think her desire to be with him is foolish. So... was she expecting that Noctis himself didn’t have feelings for her or want to spend time with her of his own volition for reasons outside of her job? She was looking forward to a marriage with no emotional security, where her desires are one-sided and unreciprocated, and the man she cares for think she’s worthless outside of her powers? She would’ve been willing to put herself through that, given a choice?

We know what we know and think what we think, but the fact that this was placed right in the vanilla game and no one thought that was wrong, and instead they doubled down on it in patches, is pathetic on their part.

Moreover, what does The Girl have, that was separate from The Princess and The Oracle? Every facet of her being wrapped around Noctis since age 4. She was nothing but her duty by the time Noctis met her; they had no scenes where they acted as children would. Even supplemental/promotional art for other XV media and related locales cement that. Little Luna serves Little Noctis pastries, she’s not seen eating with him. Luna teaches Noctis how to play piano, she’s not playing with him. Dawn of the Future came out with its own art, and Noctis is afforded the liberty to sit in a chair, and his son(?) sits on his lap, while Luna and her spitting image child(?) are both on their knees, looking up at the dudes. 

In most of their art together, Luna and Noctis are either not meeting each other's gazes, she's bending or kneeling to him, or he's supposed to be holding her close but he hover-hands her, or there’s that one time where they took a selfie and the picture was of their Pocket Edition versions. They’re still not looking at each other in that one. And it’s not canon.

Anyway yeah, any conversation Gentiana has with Luna about Noctis is emotional manipulation on Gentiana’s part, but the writers manage just enough to make everyone involved seem creepy and reprehensible in their own way. 

In DOTF, Luna has a death soliloquy that confirms she sunk into the water at the end of the game’s Chapter 9, but the soliloquy is about how she was prepared to die even at the age of 12, and she put on a smile and resolved to be strong for Noctis’s sake, so that he wouldn’t remember her having a look of despair. There’s a line there about how she would cry herself to sleep but Gentiana would wipe her tears. Gentiana does nothing else except allow her to cry and wipe her tears afterward, and makes no effort to save her from her fate or at least take her out of terrible situations so that she would cry fewer tears. But there is cut dialogue from the game, and used in the novel, where Gentiana revealed herself as Shiva when Luna was <16 (probably still 12 at the time), when she thought she was being held back from forming the covenants, so there’s that. And Luna still somehow ignored that this meant Shiva allowed Sylva to die, and thanked this useless goddess for her nonexistent generosity. 

For whatever reason they had to add a passage where Luna superimposes the image of an eight-year-old Noctis onto the adult version-- quote, "the image of him as a child, burned into my eyelids, overlaps with his now-grown face"-- even though Noctis has canonically sent her photos of him as a teenager (15-16, around the time he met Prompto in high school, see: Brotherhood). Granted, that's a translation from Luna's voice actress reading an excerpt as if it were first person POV. The English version says she sees the child image first, then the adult version is superimposed. Then not much after that there's a passage where Noctis smiles as his child self and it was "that smile she loved that had been in her heart all these years, giving her strength, always and forever".

So she was groomed and turned into a shell since age 4, believes she has no value outside of her job and turned her grooming on a similarly vulnerable child, and her strongest image of him, the one she fell in love with and kept in her heart, is of the helpless boy that promised her the world without knowing the cost. The smile of the carefree boy that didn't know his journey would end with his soul annihilated. It couldn’t have been that hard to have her see an image of him as the 30 year old True King of Light that he would become. At least she'd sound a little less like a weirdo who continually places herself (and is placed by the narrative) as below him, unworthy of him, etc. but also has strong feelings and memories toward a goddamn child.

Re: Ravus: you already got a reply to that, but for real? Ravus was also shafted by the plot and beaten down by terrible, amateur writing. The narrative shits on him as if it’s written by a high schooler or otherwise emotionally arrested adult trying to push a Mary Sue Protagonist. The modus operandi for those stories is that everyone who disagrees with the protagonist in any way has to suffer tremendous humiliation including but not limited to death, because the Protagonist Is Just So Good And Perfect And Always Right. 

Nothing Ravus does justifies his treatment in-game or in-fandom like he’s a one-note out-and-out villain who wanted nothing but to kill Noctis and disrespect his sister, to the point where his corpse is defiled multiple times in Chapter 13 and he’s twisted into a perversion of himself that begs to die.

Chapter 13 has Noctis land next to Ravus’s corpse and all his letters to Luna, and Noctis has piss all to say about it, either out loud or to anyone. He looks at the Sword of the Father, glances at Ravus, and without a word takes the Royal Arm and lets the Magitek arm-- still dripping, still gross-- fall onto Ravus’s body and doesn’t even move it.  

He had no way of knowing beforehand that Ignis and Gladio knew of Ravus being killed. WE didn't even know they saw security footage until Ch13V2 was added in. Noctis happening on his late fiancée's dead bro sounds, I don’t fucking know, like something you’d want to tell everyone else about later. Along with the letters he wrote evidencing that he intended to return the Sword of the Father to Noctis!

An aside: The Letters from Ravus are just weird to behold; it isn't 100% clear whether Luna ever received all of those letters. She had to have received the first one, at least. But the idea that Ardyn intercepted even one other letter so that Luna never heard from her brother between Tenebrae and Altissia is farfetched. He shouldn’t be able to intercept those messages as if they were delivered conventionally. Luna has a pair of magic space-bending Shiba Inu that send letters instantly across continents. If she’s sparing their use to send Noctis one-liners and stickers but can’t afford that for Ravus to send her discrete updates on Noctis’s status, she’s a piece of shit. 

They do meet in Tenebrae as Ravus wanted her to, and they have the conversation where he gets on her case about her “throwing [her] life away” for Noctis. So chances are higher that Ardyn only got a hold of all three letters after Luna received them and no sooner, but then he shouldn’t be tossing letters from Ravus at the dude’s body when it makes more sense for him to toss down letters to Ravus, since the writers wanted to make a point of Ardyn having a vicious streak. It makes way more sense for Ardyn to deprive Ravus of Luna’s writing, then insult him with them post-mortem, unless Ravus’s notes were really all he could acquire, meaning Luna never once wrote back to her brother. 

The Doylist explanation is that the writing team sucks and couldn't be assed to think of anything for Luna to say because they didn't think of her at all. The Watsonian explanation is that Luna’s a piece of shit and that tracks with her in Kingsglaive watching her brother burn alive in response to the Ring, but ignoring him and running to Regis’s aid instead, but then the rest of the plot presents her as morally pure through her white clothing and “unconditional, self-abnegating love” for Noctis.

Back to the topic: I don’t know, maybe I’m being old fashioned, but Noctis should’ve given more of a shit that his dropping the Magitek Arm on Ravus’s body was probably what turned him into a mutated abomination begging to die, and he thought so little of Ravus that the dude isn’t even in the glimpse of "people who helped me get this far" in the Beyond. Ravus doesn’t even get a spot to wish Noctis and Luna well on their afterlife wedding, not that it makes any sense for any of them to have words to say since Noctis is already dead, no one was there with them, and none of the bros expressed any sign that they knew that Noctis was bound to get married after his sacrifice (he sure doesn’t mention it in the final campfire scene and that’d be a better place than any). But anyway, Regis is in the Beyond at Noctis’s side even though he never told Noctis a damn thing and still never spoke to him from within the Ring, but Ravus? Nah, he’s the real asshole somehow and doesn’t deserve any recognition whatsoever.

The only other characters I know of that have a remotely similar dynamic to Noctis, Luna, and Ravus (lovers, but the girl has a straight-edge protective brother working for the bad guys) is Nero, Kyrie, and Credo (see: Devil May Cry), but as much as I think the writing in that series is hokey as fuck, at least the writer(s) for DMCs 4 and 5 had enough sense to make the love story simple and based it from a line from Amagasaki City-- “I love you, so I love the city that you love.”-- and opted against portraying Credo as an outright villain because if Nero killed him, Kyrie would resent him for it even though she knew Credo was working for the same Order that threatened her life. 

Shouldn’t Noctis care about the shit Luna cares about even if he has no personal investment in it or it’s inconvenient to him? Shouldn’t he care about Tenebrae and its prosperity? or about Ravus? Nah, it’s okay, Noctis doesn’t have to respect Luna’s love for her brother or her kingdom because for all intents and purposes, she doesn’t care for Ravus or for Tenebrae as much as she loves Noctis. Her love for Noctis and her looking forward to the wedding is what matters here.

The yaaaas queen vicious clapback from Kingsglaive!Luna about how Ravus is the Empire’s dog is especially rich coming from her when she’s fellating the gods all through the game even though Eos’s equivalent of The Holy Bible says the Hexatheon’s Revelations destroy cities and that undoubtedly means people are killed by the gods, and their summoner is complicit, because there’s no such thing as a perfect evacuation. See: "Revelations left great devastation in their wake, with entire cities being laid to ruin," noted in the Cosmogony long before the True King even exists. 

Luna herself didn’t see a problem with this and helped in the effort, with no regard to the collateral damage she would cause with the summoning: bonus points for the part where Leviathan is hostile to humanity and threatens to eat every living being if Noctis fails! She had even less regard to the damage Niflheim would cause in their attempt to kill the gods even though she was first-hand witness to them sacking Insomnia. Waking and defeating Titan deprived Lestallum of the meteor they derived power from. Waking Leviathan destroyed Altissia. Luna’s refusal to leave Insomnia when told to by Regis led to her being used as bait and taking the whole of the Kingsglaive out of Insomnia in time for their Face Heel Turn and Insomnia being destroyed. Everything else leads to the eventual World of Ruin where people also die. 

All because she killed herself prematurely from the covenants and didn’t hold back the longer nights as she promised to the public’s face and on her honor as Oracle she would do. Her dying words in Chapter 9 were her being completely satisfied with her fate because “[her] prayers were answered, [her] calling fulfilled”, even though the calling requires that she dies and she should’ve known better than anyone that her death, even if it was for Noctis’s ascension, would endanger the rest of the world for 10 years and helped the Starscourge spread. But instead of fighting for her own life to stem the plague for as long as possible, she let herself die under the belief that "Noct can handle this" to give him the chance to be the revered King of Light. She also didn’t make a single appearance on the world of the living in her spirit form during those ten years until Noctis needed help with a piddly imitation of the Magic Wall, only then does she come down in her ghost form with seemingly all of her power intact, and summons five of The Six as if Noctis can’t easily do it himself.

But Ravus is the lapdog? Luna’s the one with her “ends justify the means” behavior and what looks like general neglect for actual human beings.

Anyway, Ravus stabs Caligo in the back and kills him, and that move only makes sense in light of the idea that Caligo was manhandling Luna as seen in the Dawn trailer. Ravus was 16 when Tenebrae was overrun, and there’s no reason to believe he was magically immune to institutional abuse, so there’s a high chance that he was abused by the Empire too, held resentment of that, and waited for the time he’d be able to retaliate with no repercussions. Gentiana as a goddess is 1000000% more on the hook about letting Luna be beaten than Ravus is, since he saw his mother die in front of him while Regis ran away. Regis had the power of the Ring and could have used elemancy to put out that fire, or void magic to banish Glauca and his MT army, didn’t do that, but he totally spares enough magic during the treaty signing to toss around Thunder spells straight from his hand, cast barriers, and summon some Royal Arms straight at Iedolas, and that’s bad enough. Gentiana who’s been the Fleuret family attendant since Luna was born and also is Shiva who can freeze people with her fingertip had even less excuse to let that fire rage, to let Sylva die protecting her son, and to stand by and allow her ward(s) to get thrown around by some random Imperial soldier.

[peachyunjinnie]

❝secret obsession❞ bgc ― s.

― summary:

chan finds out your secret obsession for his hands and gives you what you have been craving for.

dom!chan/female!reader | fluff, smut | 2.2k ↬ content warnings: hair pulling, hand kink, breath-play, spanking, unprotected sex, fingering, teasing, degradation, praise, orgasm control, orgasm denial,slightly biting, a little bit of overstimulation.

a/n: i decided to cool off from the threesome and take some new requests, i re-wrote this 3 times now and i really hope you can enjoy this final version! 

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“Channie! I need help!” I called out for him after I tried and tried to get this pizza-dough under control. Flour everywhere, I was covered from head to toe and this goddamn ball of sadness and frustration in my hands. He rushed from the bedroom where he was currently cleaning up and he started to laugh.

“What the heck- what are you doing?” He couldn’t stop and just continued to giggle at my failed attempt to be affectionate and just make some food for us. I cannot believe the disrespect and the audacity he has to laugh at me. How rude!

“Can you help me, please?!” I said as the flour-water mix was getting more and more out of hand. He leaned his hand on the kitchen table and had to breathe for some seconds to get the laughter out. 

“No, like this.” He has come behind me and  was holding my hands in his hands and helped me knead harder than I already did. I was starting to feel the familiar thing in my belly. Not because of his sudden closeness nor his chin resting on my shoulder. His hands, looking at them. The feeling of blood rushing out of my head and dizziness taking over the fixation I had for his hands. 

I had to sit down for a second, escaping his warm and welcoming arms to rush to the table to get this feeling to go away. I breathed in out patiently to get my heart to calm down completely. I couldn’t let him know about this, he will think I am a freak. Hands, what is so attractive about this specific body part, I couldn’t tell you but there is just something so hot about those hands of Channie. My knees automatically went a little weaker, a very good decision to sit down. 

“What’s wrong? Did you drink enough water? Do you feel dizzy?” He asked, kneeling down in front of me with his hands trying to hold mine. I couldn’t keep my panties dry from that little to no interaction with his god-like hands. 

“I did, it’s just- Ah” I couldn’t end the sentence because of Chan’s hands caressing my thighs, letting his fingers tap along my trembling legs. I moaned out loud and he stared at me, I prepared myself that he will take his stuff and leave me but he surprisingly didn’t. He had a smirk decorating his lips and his eyes instantly switching darker. After some seconds he understood everything and all of the actions that I have made. He understood why I couldn’t be myself around these fingers

„Aw, I get it. You are needy, now aren’t you.“ He didn’t stop massaging my thighs sensually and slowly. He didn’t stop getting me to moan even louder and more desperate than ever.

He didn’t let me calm and down and even though I was sitting, threw me over his shoulder and smacked my ass hard. All of the blood that has left my head was now rushing in and made me feel like on the top of the world and kind of what I imagine what it would feel like to take every single drug on this earth.

Reaching the bedroom he threw me down the bed, my back hitting the mattress hard but this sudden action made me not realize anything but just him.

„I finally get it, you like my hands and want me to please you with them. Am I right?“ He asked, hovering over me and touching my lips with his fingers. His usual so soft and warm eyes melting me into pieces, were now two black holes of nothing in it but the pure lust and the bare desire.

„I-I Ch-cha-...“ I could not get a single word out without having a major stutter attack, he just drives me to insanity.

„Use your words like a good girl.“ He purred slowly.

„Chan, c-canyoupleasefuckmewithyourfingers?“ I sped up with my tempo of speaking. Almost not audible for him, but he caught the main words ‘fuck me’ and ‘fingers’. He smiled at the harsh redness of my cheeks. 

“Babygirl, why didn’t you tell me earlier.” He asked still having his fingers over my lips and brushing it teasingly. I had a hard time getting out this sentence, but with his fingers on my face I couldn’t keep my non-existent cool anymore.

“I-I Chris-I did-didn’t cu-cuz I..I.I Uh, I-” He was keeping eye contact, chasing my gaze and trying to get my eyes to give a gaze back. I had my eyes on my lips, better said on his hand down there still caressing it. He stopped and went southwards. He went down to my chin to my sensitive neck.

"Honey, you're not as innocent as you look," Chan said in his deep and thick accent. The harsh grip on my neck was getting harder and tougher. He continued to look deeply into my eyes, not leaving my surprised and shocked look on what I have been needing since I realized my obsession with his hands. 

He then flipped me over to my belly, the unexpected and fast movement made my breath stop and all my thoughts that were buzzing around in my head to be now completely gone. I was face down to the mattress, his hands on my hips and pulling it upwards. 

“Ah, Chan-” I squeaked out, from this feeling that was building up in my belly. I was shaking into the cushion underneath me, I couldn’t keep my voice down anymore. Needing to let out what was creeping up on me. 

“You dirty little kitten. I will give you what you need.” He groaned against my ass. He had his big hands on them, spreading my cheeks apart. His hoodie I was wearing, was the only thing I was wearing. Underneath this big and comfy hoodie had a nude surprise beneath.

“Not panties? You slut.” He kept my core openly presented to him and he slapped my ass. He didn’t stop with one little slap, he got me in position in where he sat on the edge of the bed with me over his lap. For the love of god I couldn’t tell you what he was trying to do with me.

“Chan-“

“You can count, do you?”

“Y-Yes, what ar-“

“No questions, use your slutty mouth to count until I am done with you.” I could hear the smile in his deep and sharp voice.

He caressed my cheek before he hit it hard with his bare and rough palm. My body tensed up at the realization that he was spanking me now.

“One-“ I moaned out loud, his palm not giving me any time to comprehend this situation.

“What a good girl.” He softly stroke my tingling spots with a kiss on my cheek.

Another hard hit on my other cheek. Tears slightly forming in my eyes.

“T-Two..” I whispered with a choked out moan. I wiggled in his touch, trying my hardest to be quiet.

“Louder, Kitten. Let the whole entire city hear you.” His voice echoing in the bedroom, his dominant and demanding voice giving me chills.

“Two.” I said louder and more audible for him to hear. He kneaded my ass, making the redness appear even harder.

“Good Girl.” A pet on my bare upper thighs, a shiver going down my spine and the goosebumps being visible for him to see.

This whole thing continued and the spanks stopped with the 20th. With teary eyes and red butt cheeks he told me what a good girl I was with many praises.

He kept me there with my heated cheeks, he started touching my folds and pushing his finger in. Stretching me out so much. He hissed and groaned at my wetness. He thrusted in and out of my core with a slow and teasing way, driving me to insanity.

“Plea-Please, Ah-” Leaving my mouth parted and moans escaping my lips.He curled his finger up and adding another finger and pulling my hair hard. 

“Be quiet until I tell you to make any sounds.” He said next to my ear, letting go of my hair in his grip. I tried my hardest to not let out any kind of noise. I looked around and just bit on the blanket next to me. I bit as hard as I could as Chris was thrusting in and out fast and with no mercy. 

I bit harder and harder until I could feel my orgasm slowly and nearly unconsciously creeped up on me. I couldn’t keep quiet anymore as he noticed it and added another finger.

“I-I Cu-Cum!” I screamed as I couldn’t keep quiet at this point. At my outbreak of emotions and announcement made him stop his actions abruptly. I shook hardly and couldn’t keep my body to function normally. 

“Look at you.” He said, admiring at my trembling and violently shaking body. I couldn’t hear him through the whole panting I was enduring, my heat clenching around nothing and my mouth again on the blanket and trying to catch my breath. My hair still messily on my shoulders from the harsh pull Chan had before. 

He flipped me over on my hands and knees. My hands giving up on my, leaving my upper body to be on the bed whilst my ass was where he positioned it. He yanked my hair, getting me to use my hand to place them on the mattress. He quickly got off his hoodie I was was still wearing, his rough and big hands on my boobs, massaging them needfully. He took off the joggers he was wearing and lined up behind me.

“You’re so tight.” He groaned, his eyes closed and his lips slightly parted. I couldn’t keep up at his tip that touched places i never knew you could touch. I was full of him, I leaned away from him to get some air. 

He violently gripped on my hips and pushed me on his cock as he thrusted into me, no time to even adjust to his size. I moaned as loud as I could, giving him a smirk on his lips. He continued to pound into me as he leaned in to my neck as he was biting on my flesh, the bite was not hard but still hard enough to leave a teeth-print on my throat.

“Ch-Chan, Fuck.” I moaned out. The fullness I had was out of this world. The most intense thing I have ever been through. He rammed me through fourth dimension and further. My hands couldn’t keep up again and my head was now again on the bed, 

He jerked me by my hair again and kept his hand around my throat. Keeping my back to his broad chest. The thrusts getting deeper and harder. The deep and sensual groans from deep of his throat was driving me crazy. i felt this overwhelming sensation again. I saw the stars circulating around my head, I felt every single movement and most importantly I felt his hand tightening it’s grasp around neck. To the point of where my lungs were burning from the unavailable air. 

He noticed my trembling thighs and was quick to put his free fingers around my clit and rubbing it fast, My eyes rolled back and my moans were stopped by the tightness around my throat. Various sounds of begging him to go slower were not understandable for him,as my cries got louder and sincere. 

The dazzling sensation of his hand and his dick got me to a moment of complete silence as he as well was as close as I was. He groaned loudly as he was filling me up to the brim, the hot load of seeds spilling inside me got me to loose every slight bit of self-control and to release everything that has been building up the whole time. 

He let go a little of my throat as he still didn’t stop to play with my clit. I quivered uncontrollably as he was groaning against my ear and whispering the dirtiest imaginations I could ever have. After a short time I was somehow painfully numb to every touch, extremely sensitive and vulnerable. I couldn’t stop choking out the same words ‘stop’ and ‘please’.

But little did I know that this was just the beginning of a long and filthy night.

[darkshrimpemotions]

I posted 11,515 times in 2021

2287 posts created (20%)

9228 posts reblogged (80%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 4.0 posts.

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#👴🏼👵🏿👵🏼🧓👴🏻👵🏾👵🏽🧓🏾🧓🏽 <<< me & my fellow fandom olds sitting in our rocking chairs on drabble hill

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Something about Dean being the main character when he wasn't supposed to be and Cas being the endgame love interest when he wasn't supposed to be and Dean being bi when he wasn't supposed to be and the story being queer when it wasn't supposed to be and just the irrepressible power of queerness and queer identity and queer stories and queer love taking this hypermasculine power fantasy and turning it into a queer love story despite the network's best efforts.

All their token background queers and their bury your gays and their white picket fence heterosexual ending and their endless fucking attempts to give us some palatable watered-down backup singer version of queerness that would let them keep the toxic manly-man b.s. intact and we said NO, FUCKER. This story is queer this story is ours your red-blooded American heroman is QUEER in fact the archetype he's based on is QUEER TOO and you can't do shit ABOUT IT.

Supernatural is the story of a few small, mean, unimaginative little men trying to straightwash the archetypal American man so they could stand in his skin and claim he always belonged to them, and millions of queer people dragging them out of that holy place and saying NO, this story is ours and you do NOT get to steal it from us.

3078 notes • Posted 2021-01-16 07:00:29 GMT

#4

Do we ever stop and just appreciate how every time Jensen shares one of his Dean headcanons with us it's the angstiest shit you ever heard but also leaves you sitting staring at your wall for days completely recontextualizing everything you thought you knew? Like somehow Dean becomes exponentially sadder and more complex every time Jensen Ross Ackles opens his goddamn mouth and I live for that shit.

3138 notes • Posted 2021-03-31 12:46:59 GMT

#3

I like how Cas eventually learns enough about humans to realize that Dean is actually a fucking weirdo and his response to this is to fall even more in love with him.

4511 notes • Posted 2021-01-07 23:12:54 GMT

#2

I think I'm just fully realizing, as I’m half-rewatching the show via YouTube reaction videos...we really weren't supposed to love Dean. And we really were not the target audience, and by we I mean a much larger segment of folks than you may think. Eric Kripke (and also Robert Singer) didn't want a bunch of queer OR mentally ill folks OR women OR people of color OR abuse survivors. Hell, he didn't even really want an audience of macho manly men!

Eric Kripke was aiming for an audience of Eric Kripkes--the kind of whiny pseudo-intellectual nerdbro who finds men like s1 Dean threatening in real life, thinks being rejected romantically by a woman is comparable to real hardship, views any unfamiliar form of intimacy with some base level of suspicion, and expresses disgust at other men’s promiscuity not because he has more “respect” for women (and don’t get me started on the puritanism of equating sex with disrespect automatically), but because he resents that he can't do the same.

Eric Kripkes hate men like Dean and envy them in equal measure. Dean is aspirational, a power fantasy, but he’s not the character Kripke actually identifies with. That's s1 Sam: the soft-spoken, smart, nerdy, sensitive guy who is special and whose niceness is rewarded by women improbably throwing themselves at him.

Dean’s hook-ups in the early seasons are almost all girls he blatantly, openly hits on or pursues in a way that, according to Nice Guy(TM) logic, would be creepy if he didn’t look the way he does (it’s still creepy, to be clear, only Nice Guys(TM) ever think it’s not). Whereas Sam’s hook-ups during these seasons almost always initiate things first, despite being in situations where hooking up with the 7-foot rando who just rolled into town would realistically be the furthest thing from their minds.

Dean is the Nice Guy(TM)’s power fantasy of being able to “get away with” whatever he wants by virtue of being hot (and assuming all women are just completely shallow), whereas Sam is the Nice Guy(TM) self-insert that, in fiction, actually “wins” girls by being comparatively respectful.

That’s why Dean is written the way he is in the early seasons, where he rides this weird line between being downright irredeemably sleazy and accidentally actually deconstructing toxic masculinity in his characterization. Kripke wants to be Dean but also resents the very existence of Deans (that is, the surface-level Dean, the Masculine Performance) in the world, and resents his own inability to inhabit that role.

They confuse him, and they make him feel insecure, but instead of bucking that whole worldview he fully buys into it via the way he makes fun of it. So Dean becomes this weird hodgepodge of highly performative toxic masculine traits interspersed with moments of genuine emotion that were probably intended to read as weakness. And it’s supposed to be over-the-top and vaguely ridiculous and ultimately, kind of pathetic.

But then he made the inspired mistake of casting Jensen fucking Ackles, the man who’s forgotten more about gender performativity than most of us will ever fucking know, in this highly gendered, highly contradictory role.

When you hand Jackles contradictions he just turns them into character complexity, so suddenly instead of watching a show about Regular Guy being sucked into his toxic family’s heinous world of monsters, you’re watching a show about Manly Guy desperately trying to hold his family together against impossible odds through increasingly self-destructive means while his facade of masculinity systematically crumbles around him.

And it’s fucking fascinating, so fascinating that every subsequent writer leans further into that, until that’s almost the entirety of the show. Hell, even Kripke leans into it somewhat, maybe subconsciously, fairly early on. Watch the back half of season 1: it’s extremely Dean-perspective heavy where the first half of the season was more evenly split. Still, the perspective remains more or less balanced in seasons 2 and 3, only to slant extremely far towards Dean in season 4 and never really course-correct after that.

In retrospect it should’ve been obvious that Ruby was playing Sam from the get-go, because the show simply does not invest much time or effort into getting you invested in her relationship with Sam. Certainly not as much time and effort as it expends on making you feel Dean’s worry and distrust, or in building up his parallel relationship with Castiel. And boy, once that relationship takes off, there’s really no more hope of this ever being the Sam show again.

The most it can hope for is to evenly split focus between the two brothers, although most of the time it doesn’t even manage that. By the time we get halfway through the show, it’s pretty solidly the story of Manly Guy having a constant gender and sexuality crisis trying to keep his increasingly queer found family together from within the confines of his glass closet, while the angel who pulled him out of Hell chips steadily away at the closet’s walls.

There are hardly any women in the story at that point that aren’t written as sisters or mothers to the main characters. There are precious few hook-ups for either brother anymore, either, pursuing and pursued alike. There’s no power fantasy to speak of, and no low-key competition between the brothers related to any of these things.

Instead you have Manly Guy embracing his homemaking skills while forming affectionate homosocial bonds with men who are more secure in their masculinity than he is, which he finds both freeing and comforting. And you have Regular Guy setting boundaries, going vegan, and bonding with the women in his life over surviving similar kinds of trauma.

They co-parent a child with their gay angel best friend who likes pop music and is Manly Guy’s most profound significant homosocial bond. Oh yeah, and they also hunt monsters and save the world sometimes, but mostly those plots exist as allegories for the things they’re working through, or catalysts for their continued character development.

Like no fucking wonder Kripke (and later, Singer) didn’t get the audience he was after. And also thank fucking god he didn’t.

5628 notes • Posted 2021-02-17 00:27:37 GMT

#1

One of the frustrating things about Supernatural being filmed in and around Vancouver instead of on actual U.S. backroads is the lack of batshit religious signage that's a key feature around the Bible Belt and in especially rural parts of the Midwest, and would have taken on a deliciously ominous tone in seasons 4-5, season 11, and season 15 in particular.

Like where are the Jesus Lives signs painted in what might well be dried blood on rotting wooden planks nailed to random trees along the state highway? Where are the falling down barns no one has bothered to repair, but someone sure put in the effort to paint GOD IS ALWAYS WATCHING on the side facing the road? Where are the gigantic white crosses looming over the interstate like pale angels poised to rain God's wrath upon us? Where are the wackadoo church bulletins trying to sound cheeky and relevant?

Truckstop America's aesthetic is steel, concrete, and the smell of gasoline, true. But throughout a good third or more of the country it's ALSO batshit religious signage and I think it's pretty indicative of how they failed to go hard enough with their own premise that in fifteen seasons we never see any.

7790 notes • Posted 2021-11-17 05:40:14 GMT

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