#god I'm probably gonna have to actually try to make a game system at some point

[dragongirltongue]

New Pinned post <3

Hi there, the name is Zelda, or one of like, 20 other names that may or may not be listed somewhere around here. If you know a name I go by that isn't findable here don't use it. <3

I'm bigender which is made up of girl and fem6oy, as such I use she/her and sometimes he/him pronouns when I'm feeling fem6oy enough <3

I'm in my 30s, not getting more specific than that until I decide it's not true enough to change it, don't try to find my exact age as I don't like sharing that information publicly, I don't even update it on my birthday <3

I'm a polyamorous bisexual voraphile freak and if you're over 18 you're welcome to talk to me about how much of a freak I am. I love to flirt and encourage it. Also happy to share my Other Blog with anyone interested, again as long as you're of age. <3

I'm a film graduate and currently working on doing something with that experience as well as working on a superhero comic and a 2D zelda style game. Feel free to bug me about any of those I love to discuss writing and media and want to encourage media literacy. <3

I'm also an ex-jehovahs witness and as a result I'm hugely into the holiday season in a very against my old god kinda way. Also big into sinning <3

Also I'm like, a dragon in probably an otherkin/thetadelta kinda way, like, it's core to who I am and how I understand myself so yeah. Despite this my fursona is a fox, the dragon in my icon is literally me <3

I also draw sometimes and when I do it'll be posted to @dragongirldrawings but always reblogged here too.

Also I'm a member of a plural system, feel free to check out the rest of the system over here @haven-sys <3

Further on the identity weirdness I'm an imaginary friend for the person who used to inhabit this body, they've been gone for like, over 20 years so it's not really relevant but I have started embracing my nature as a fictional creation, it's comforting.

Btw, if one of my posts containing my typing quirk ends up on your dash I take no responsibility for it. I use it in posts that are for me only and if they happen to resonate with others that's their choice to reblog.

I had intended to set tipping up on my blog for a while but adhd caused me to never get around to it sooo, homebrew tip button on my original posts. Feel free and outright encouraged to steal this idea <3

So yeah that's me, hiii I love you all <3

this post is specifically a6out tum6lr user Zelda dragongirltongue

DNI list under the read more.

lmao imagine if I actually made one of those finally, that's how you'd know I've been replaced with an evil clone or something.

That being said if you're looking at my blog to send me an ask or dm about what someone gets off to please understand unless they're actively hurting someone I rly don't care. I have a lot of ignored and blocked anons about this.

This goes double if the person you're trying to alert me to is trans femme, we don't play that game here, especially given that I know I've been targetted for things as simple as engaging in vore the wrong way for some people or whatever.

Like, I just want to make it clear I rly don't give a fuck what another adult does in the bedroom, I rly don't care if the bedroom happens to include their blog and I rly don't care if they like to flirt about it with other adults on this website.

Also if your pinned post is a callout for anyone about anything it's likely to set off my paranoia around you, which is to say I will not be able to trust you if this is the case even if it's for someone who's actually a danger to a community, like, actively.

Like, this ain't a moral stance or anything, it's a mental health thing. I see that you want to make your first point of contact into a crosshair on someone else I'm gonna be scared you're gonna aim at me next even if it's completely reasonable that you'd never find anything objectionable with me. It scares me and I'm gonna spend every interaction walking on egg shells around you cos what if you're digging for dirt, like, I got no way of knowing.

Anyway as the opening joke implies I don't see any worth in having a list of things to not interact with me over cos the lived experience on this planet is so full of nuance and I've formed deem friendships with people who'd probably have avoided me if I had a DNI and they cared about it.

I think DNIs are dumb but this feels like a space to talk about some general limits on what I'm gonna put up with on this website. I'm just here for a good time with other freaks, anything else is optional. If you want to drag me into your discourse at this point then I guess this is whre I ask you to Do Not Interact. To anyone else, I love yall <3

If you've been directed here after sending an ask my way please apologize for wasting my time [here]

tl;dr DNIs are dumb but don't drag me into your personal grievances with others.

this post is still specifically a6out tum6lr user Zelda dragongirltongue [tip]

[girlfromthecrypt]

Okay so i already lost my mind alil during Sawyers route. But i truly did love the update!

I will not even mention that i already told you i didn't trust your damn hide and seek game....

It was great!

I loved every RO interaction tho Flo is just the sweetest most lovable dude in the history of IFs. I love him so much. He leaves my poor MC speechless alot. And him coming to save the day was kinda hot ngl.

I loved all the effort you put in with the kids interaction it truly is a reflection that this isn't just a romance game or a creepy let's freak out liz game. 🙄

But it's also about the kids and they are just the sweetest. I love how you wrote the whole bullying scenario. God i deal with alot of those and you wrote it so well! And the kids all shine and i love how they have such different personalities and that it actually differentiates and shows when you read about them.

Sawyer was....sawyer.... idk. I can't say anymore about them other than they are gunning for Flo's top RO spot

I also love all the effort you put into the special moments with each RO and the kids and especially just the tattoos. Those were so dope and alot of effort. Shut up. Don't say it was nothing 😒

The game really is becoming a great balance of fun, romance and creepiness... i always try to ignore the creepiness until I'm telling some creepy voice to fuck off and that they can't join but that's just a regular update with u at this point. 🙄❤️

Lol so is "let's freak out liz" a whole genre, or...? xD

Yeah I recently had to work with a bunch of elementary school kids in kind of a similar setting to the one I'm writing about (I may or may not have known I would be doing this for a long time and it may or may not have inspired me to write Such Happy Campers in the first place) and it was EXHAUSTING but damn, did it give me some fun ideas for SHC. Kids are so... weird and silly and they're ALWAYS fighting. So yeah this experience has convinced me even more to make the campers stand out.

Also, a lot of the stuff I write into SHC relates to stuff I've seen and common experiences from my friends and family and me growing up. And venting about school system.

And no, I won't even say the tattoos were nothing. That shit was so. Damn. Extensive. Especially for something that's probably not gonna come up again. I'm convinced that it was worth it but ayyy it was a lot.

Btw I'm really really glad you're still enjoying this game and that you still love Flo (and also Sawyer hehe) and thanks for always writing these long asks I love them!!

[circular-bircular]

I'm putting this blog to rest.

I'm done. I'm out. And god, is it a relief.

You might notice I'm posting this around the same time that SAS is posting a major post in an effort to light the tag on fire. I highly doubt it'll work, but it's the best attempt. Me and SAS are close. Nearly one in the same, some days...

You'll notice the end of the post says, "just wait for what happens next."

This is what happens next.

I'm deleting my syscourse blogs. Finally. No "maybe I will" or "I've been considering it." I've been considering it for a loooong time, and I've actually been intending on getting rid of Circular's-Reasoning for awhile now. I just... haven't had the energy to.

But now... My life is moving on. I'm moving on, quite literally, I gain possession of my new house... probably today when I end up posting this. I'm not sure, it's my first draft, we'll see how this goes. That's terrifying to realize. I'm like... an adult. I'm an adult who's craving good conversations about my disorder, about systemhood and how it's conceptualized, and more intricate parts of my selfhood. And... Syscourse just is not that.

I've done this sort of thing before, if you all know MotCR -- @memoriesofthecircularroom, for the uninitiated. That's the OG Circular Blog, and is an archive of the first few years of syscourse. But... Now, it's going to become a bit more. Here's my game plan.

I update MotCR to be the Circular Archive. Anything I think needs archiving -- good posts of mine, silly reblogs, or just good posts overall where I added something of my own -- will get reblogged there. It's gonna be busy for a bit.

In the meantime while I start that process, I answer any and all final questions/asks or drafts that've been in the works. I don't want to leave people hanging.

I delete a lot of blogs. And... I do mean a lot -- not even just the syscourse ones. Just the ones I think it's time to let go of.

I've often teased how many blogs I have. It's fluctuated wildly in the past. But here's the down and dirty. Here's what I own, and what I'm planning on removing.

@circular-bircular (Hi, Hello, You're Here)

@circulars-reasoning (Already planned to be gone awhile ago)

@systemquirks (I just don't have the energy to run it, and I'm so sorry for that)

@yourfaveissecretlysas (Yes, I am the one running that)

@system-confessions (Surprise! No name blog that barely exists, again, I don't have the energy)

@debunkingsyscourse (Look, I make these too easily)

@equalsys (Not sure how this is a shocker to anyone)

@ricejustdidthings (An old system-no-syscourse blog I have that I don't use anymore)

@my-systems-cringe (Been meaning to delete this for ages)

@circulars-answers (Unneeded)

And potentially one other, unnamed for now blog -- that's the one I've never told people I have outside of select discords...

So that's 11 blogs I'm getting rid of, potentially more. And that's with me still keeping 2 syscourse blogs and an 18+ system blog. Jesus christ.

It feels good to get it off my chest, though. It feels really good to be leaving.

"But Circ! Your posts make me happy!"

Fantastic! You can follow the new system blog I'm going to be making, @thecircularsystem (is that link working? I don't know, it's a brand new blog.)

Try this link out instead if that doesn't work!

I'm still going to be posting system related content there. I'm still going to be doing my normal random shit that I always do. I may even dabble in syscourse -- and definitely in sysconversation. I like that tag! But I'm not going to be doing syscourse nearly as often, and I'm going to try and stay out of that tag in search of reblogs and such. Too often, it results in me getting aggressive with someone, rather than just... spreading good information about systems, or existing online as I want to exist.

I just need a refresh. A new step, a big change. I'm moving on.

I really hope you all can too <3

[aqours]

ok i REAAAAAALLY need to make a dedicated sideblog for this shit now i realize bc this game is gonna fucking fully get me dragged into this discourse so i'm gonna make an active effort to stop putting these on main, but i can't see myself saying more beyond this in general but ANYWAAAAYS

so i recently made this post about the cognitive dissonance regarding this game and people using fucking CALL OF DUTY a game that is more or less a recruitment drive to make the US military look cool and try to get kids to join up and that GTA's wanted system is actually NOT rewarding you or something to try to play a dick measuring contest with coffin but this interaction really interested me and i wanna talk about it bc i just blocked them after they refused to answer the last question but this is a very specific kind of gaslighting tactic i'm very familiar with from my own days as an anti

i think p much all of us who are used to engaging with this discourse are used to like y'know, being called awful horrible disgusting things. this is not the first time some fucking weird random person came onto my content asking me if i was a kid didler or wanted to fuck my brother. ain't gonna be anywhere near the last time either folks, but i and Lord God knows that's not the case so i don't care what a rando on the internet says but here's the thing: you can't "win" this, but they want to win it. no matter what you say you are the absolute worst kind of dreg of society that should be shot behind a barn and no amount of anything would work. if i actually pulled a list of sourced all that would have happened was they would've doubled down on calling me an inc*s*ious p*d* that I would be willing to use articles probably written by "people like me." because YOU don't care about "winning" this argument, you just wanna get the facts out on your end. it's a catch-22 folks, nothing you say will get you out of it!

i started by calling them a karen, they immediately escalated the living FUCK out of it and tried to trap me in this catch-22 to keep feeling morally superior to me. me saying i don't have such desires and never will isn't enough because i like this game. nothing but me renouncing it will change it.

but here's the thing about antis- they fucking HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE it when you turn it on them. look at the difference. look at the difference between they were the one throwing the catch-22 at me vs. the other way around. what about you? you just came onto my post to harass me, so i'll say it back. how about you? are you just accusing me of these horrible things because you are projecting your thoughts on me? you told me to get a therapist: so maybe you're the one that needs help if so!

violent video games must encourage violence, riiiiight? and you support it because it's violent. Game of Thrones had in*e*t in it so everyone who likes it also is the same. and Demon Slayer, where the pfp is from is violent, so you support it. the main protag's little sister also gets a superpowered form where she gets physically older and a tits out kinda look. so clearly YOU want to see your sister in the same way, right?

and it went as expected. you can see the tone going from smug jerking off with a shit-eating grin to just annoyed while smelling their own farts like it's a rose. and the moment i started doing the same uh i got NO fucking answers and they stormed off. i waited half an hour for a response before blocking them

so why am i typing up this walltext? because i used to be an anti. i fucking guarantee you i would've called everyone who liked this game [insert horrible things] like 7-9 years ago. so let me tell you, you know what pisses off antis more than anything? more than ANYTHING? turning this catch-22 bullshit on them. this is the only way you can end this miserable conversation without blocking them.

it's all one-sided bullshit and the moment you turn it on an anti it IMMEDIATLY shuts it down. this fucker KNEW the answer and you know it. so i wanted to share that, if you ever struggle with this shit: well the best thing you can do is block them and to give a fuck about winning their imaginary argument, but this is the only way to make the headache end otherwise. just throw the catch-22 right back and that's the end. thanks for reading!

[heelycular-manslaughter]

I've been working on a ttrpg inspired by Hades and Kill 6 Billion Demons, modifying my Lumen game, Luminous Vein. It's definitely still early in the process, and I have so many projects that this one is a bit on the backburner, in part because I hate figuring out random generation and it'd feel more right to have a more official vibe to it with art & stuff. Anyway I do however think some of it is cool as hell so I put out a poll asking people what they'd like to hear about; you guys chose my problematic trans rep, who I dont have much to say about that I didn't already put in its description, so I'll just put it in full:

Hollow, Goddess of Rot

It/its, she/her, they/them

Feared among mortals to its elation, Hollow is a heavy shadow of positivity in the pantheon of gods. It loves trying to find new ways to disgust and horrify mortals, sometimes going so far as to create minor planes to trap them in and play with them. It, however, is not a real threat to anyone; her domain only ever affects those that have already died.

While plenty of wildlife loves her, human cults are rare to form, but those that do are often social outcasts, finding beauty in not just the way rot provides new life, but to death on its own merit.

Hollow is the shambling corpse of the first dead god, born in the abyss that could not be filled by anyone else. Its skin is grey and thin, tearing at the joints; its eyes have long been forgotten by physical existence; its form is too old and rotted to make out what the dead god once looked like. There's a gaping hole in the center of her neck, leaving its voice whispy, almost pained. They have a series of spindly, metal legs modeled by Eralth, the God of Craft, to support their slowly withering divine legs. Smaller beings of rot reside in the fungi and holes growing around their flesh. Hollow is extremely proud of the body they claimed, and, even as the gods respond to her presence with discomforted silence at best, they will all admit that she shows more joy than the first dead god ever did, or most other gods in the pantheon, for that matter.

Hollow loves dead things and is, therefore, happy to help runners escape hell so they can fulfill their full potential as dead things. She only shows confusion when asked for clarification.

Core Mechanic: Rot

When enemies inflicted with rot die, their bodies will remain to fight alongside you, becoming undead. Undead have the same actions made on the GM turn, but directed at enemies, and their health is based on how much rot you inflicted on them.

Boons of Hollow:

Rotting Wounds: Your weapon attacks inflict 1 rot

Trail of Death: Inflict 3 rot when you move away from an enemy

Decay: When you kill an enemy with an attack requiring 2 actions, they are given 1 rot

Spores: Your cast inflicts 2 rot to all enemies in Close range of the target.

Contagion: All undead attacks inflict 1 rot.

Self-Actualization: You can choose to target actions or casts on yourself, dealing harm but giving you any included rot effects as well.

Angry Dead: All undead deal +1 harm

Slough: Living targets inflicted with rot will take +1 harm.

Probably should've guessed the website with all the freak transgenders would vote for the freak transgender, now everything after her is gonna be a letdown. This is my best girl and also literally me so if anyone is mean to her I'll kill yo u

I'm not entirely sure how many possible boons I want the gods to have, Hades has a massive swathe of them but it turns out that can be kinda hard. I might add more mechanics to the core combat system to play with, the big issue I'll have to deal with is the randomness and the fact that the upgrades aren't weapon specific

Congrats! You read this far! or scrolled down and clicked words! You are now granted voting rights on what I should bring up next. if you want

[panelshowsource]

If you had to pick a top three favorite episodes of any panel shows EVER, which would you choose? One of mine would have to be Terry Wogan guest hosting old NMTB, which I am dying to watch again in my lifetime. Your old-NMTB-posting reminded me just how amazing and formative those old episodes were for me. Anyway, it got me thinking… I would love to hear yours!

as long as i'm allowed to answer this totally subjectively...! because the objectively most iconic panel show episodes are probably quite different to the ones i gravitate to especially for rewatching — and especially in this difficult recent climate 🫥

this choice is almost bizarre knowing me, a huge huge huge sean lock fan, but this episode of cats does countdown — without sean! and not even golden era, probably, whatever that is in my mind — is so ridiculous and chaotic and stupid that i've watched it about 1000 times. there's something very specific about the dynamic between jimmy, jon, roisin, and joe without sean; those four have been in quite a few episodes without sean and they're like actual children without an adult in the room: jon is goofier and completely lets go of the game, jimmy throws even more to roisin (we do not talk enough about what a fucking kick jimmy gets out of her), roisin and joe's insane sibling dynamic becomes next level. anyways—this episode, which includes rly funny mascots, glory hole, the fucking hoop game and joe eating an onion and jon eating peppers???, THE UNICORN, its sheer childishness just cracks me up every time :') (if we're gonna mention the golden age, 2.02 is very iconic — from rhod killin it and always arguing with jimmy to claude to nick x susie hahaha but i have sooooo many catsdown episodes i love love love)

i really love the episode of 8 out of 10 cats following jimmy's tax scandal. it's not one of my favourite panel shows in general, but the circumstances of the news and the discussion epitomised what the show was meant to be: panel show meets reality tv meets a comedy central roast. watching that live, as the news was running it so heavily that even the prime minister mentioned it, as the press and twitter were reacting to it... wild times. it holds up incredibly well — it's hilarious watching them rip him to shreds, because he deserves every word and they're having a ball doing it to him, and i really appreciate jon grounding the conversation in just how tax avoidance hurts their country and some of its hardest workers — a really interesting, engaging mix of comedy and anger and wit and disappointment and political commentary that is not only funny but strikingly relevant no matter how much time passes. like so, so many people who were so, so disappointed in jimmy, this was the foundation of his carrying the responsibility, shame, reflection, and growth that people wanted to see — and that he truly needed to. since then he's talked a lot about not only righting the wrong (in paying back what he owed in avoidance) but just how the system is so broken — and taking the least complicated, most honest road forward since.

now i want to pick 1000 different things this is why i don't make lists or rank things!!!!! while my instinct is to pick a big fat quiz, i'm actually gonna go top-level nostalgia and say this episode of buzzcocks when stephen fry was a guest. what can i say — simon, stephen, it was two intellectual, mildly bitchy homosexuals on a stacked panel including josie long, dominic cooper, and yet another skinny white rock man for simon to pretend he's not trying to flirt with. stephen saying "there is a history, in pop music, of recto-veginal insertion" and denouncing god, like, in the first 5 minutes? stephen doing the intros round?? did i mention history boys-era dominic cooper??? such a throwback!!! (not to cheat but this ep with josh groban & martin freeman is my runner up)

i want to apologise to big fat quiz, taskmaster, wilty... THE WHOLE HISTORY OF PANEL SHOWS... I WISH I COULD CHOOSE YOU ALL

[xbruised-peachx]

since you are staring to like fender do you have any headcanons for him 👀

SO, the problem I'm having is I actually know very little about Hungary, so often with my headcanons, I try to also make them accurate for someone who is actually that nationality. Unfortunately I don't know anyone from Hungary to ask either so unlike Gromsko, mine are gonna probably have some inaccuracies and I do apologize and they may seem a lil standard but, I'll give em a shot bc there is so lil content abt Fender anyway!

Fender Headcanons

Tags: none actually! these are just general headcanons that could be applied anywhere :)

Let's start with one that's basically canon you can't convince me otherwise; His call sign is Fender, the guitar brand, he has multiple lines referring to music ("Now we're jamming!" "Shows over!" "Get the fuck off my stage..." "Very rock and roll 🤔" "Let's get the band together!" etc.), and his voice actor can sing really well. He is definitely a musician of some sort and strikes me as a metal head for sure. Some of his favorites are System of a Down, Slayer, and Avenged Sevenfold.

His bio states he was father was a CIA op and mother was a "guerrilla revolutionary" in communist Budapest. Communism ended in Hungary around end of 1989, so at the youngest, he's 33 since the game takes place at the end of 2022.

With his father dying when he was young, he's definitely a mama's boy. However he also give off eldest sibling energy so I think he has a few younger half-siblings. He also has daddy issues, sorry that's canon.

He is definitely a gym rat with that gym skin he got April. But I want to combine it with the Mtn. Dew skin because he's gremlin coded and yeah no, he's combined his pre-workout powder with Mtn Dew and swears he saw God while using a stair climber.

He's had his tooth gap since his adult teeth first started coming in, but he absolutely despised the dentist. Being his mom's first child, and just generally not growing up in the most wealthy household, he managed to convince her he didn't really need an orthodontist or braces. Hence, his cute lil smile he has now.

In general, he's very confident in his abilities, a little abrasive but charming in his own way. He will always remain friendly at first until wronged. He got bullied as a kid so he does have his guard up and it takes a bit to truly gain his trust. He also is a bit hot headed and will stay angry for quite a few hours.

He will often use the fact he's half American as a joke... a lot. He says that's why he loves Mtn Dew, why he learned English so early in his life despite his dad already being gone, and that he definitely got his love for explosives from his dad's side of the family.

He's not super patriotic though for Hungary. He likes his home country but doesn't quite like speaking Hungarian around the others in Kortac knowing they won't understand him. Only rarely will they catch him talking under his breath to himself or when he's startled in battle (example, "VIGYÁZZ!").

He will however, cuss someone out in his language. There are no holes barred there, he will say some the most jaw dropping shit if they knew what he was saying. This often leads to him laughing mid-cuss out as they look to him incredibly confused.

[lock-my-feelings-in-a-jar]

For the ask game: 7, 9, 18, 19, 29 💚

thank you!!!!! excuse the fact that most of the songs will probably be russ ballard.

7. a song to drive to:

well, i don't drive. but if i DID. wait, let me think. well i just love listening to any music in the car, as a passenger. but i feel like driving would be the same for me as other things, like if i'm working on something or doing chores, i love having music to focus on while doing it, lately usually something with a story or a meaning to think about the whole time. i can still do what it is i'm doing, but i have something to also get lost in at the same time.

i... am trying to think of a specific song that would fit, but there's so many where i'm like "i could easily imagine myself driving and getting lost in this song". okay i'll just go with one of my favorite songs in general and because i'm imagining what it would sound like in a really good car sound system. your time is gonna come by russ ballard

9. a song that makes me happy:

oh my god SO MANY. but right now, i'm gonna go with just like me by russ ballard. this song somehow took away a large portion of my social anxiety and fear around interacting with other people.

18. a song from the year i was born:

okayokayokay. (why did russ's the seer album have to be released in 93 instead of 92) i'll go with this one: heart and soul by robert hart

19. a song that makes me think about life:

almost everything that russ ballard has ever written. especially the book of love album. okay wait i have to pick one. OKAY i'm between at least two, the song book of love annnnd in to the light, both by russ ballard(of course) but i guess i'll go with in to the light. the lyrics are some of my favorite lyrics ever(i will shorten them a bit):

"The door of the cell is open (x14)

Clinging by my finger tips Just every night and day For a refuge from the ghost inside This crying, waiting, yearning, longing For a sanctuary But I know that from myself, I cannot hide This plane of darkness Has been my house, my home Through the years, except for tears I've lived there all alone

In to the light In to the light From the dark in to the light I've been searching for the light to find a way When in my head, something said What are you searching for Just turn around, you'll see an open door You can walk from the dark in to the light

In this mad confusion, the maze inside my head It's been my cell, but I'll break down the walls There's a peace that's coming and it's not so far away Letting go of love has been the price I pay I've been clinging to the bars For the glimpse of light outside When if I'd only turn around, the door is open wide

In to the light In to the light From the dark in to the light I've been searching for the light to find a way When in my head, something said What are you searching for Just turn around, you'll see an open door You can walk from the dark in to the light

It's as though we were prisoners Straining at the bars for the light And looking for the glimpse of light that we see out there And wondering how we could get out towards it While actually, the door of the cell is open behind us If only we would turn around We could walk out into the street

The door of the cell is open (x8) "

i think about these lyrics like every day of my life now. (and the lyrics to book of love too. and more from the album. i love the whole album forever.)

29. a song that i remember from my childhood:

i could list a bunch of songs by sweet because they were my first band obsession ever, but i'm actually going to go withhhh a country song that made me cry when i was little when i was listening to the radio and coloring pictures. don't take the girl by tim mcgraw (i made the mistake of listening to it again and i can confirm the story still makes me cry)

[meirimerens]

god thank you for your response to that person I'm so tired of seeing takes that are like "the kin/the town are a 1:1 representation of the buryats" cuz... they're not... and honestly trying to hammer that point down comes off as quite insulting to the real and actual people they're supposedly represent.

the kin differs from the buryats by their economical system, faith and even medicine methods. the closest thing is the language cuz surprise, unless you're tolkien, coming up with a whole fictional language is hard

well, thank you, i'll guess. i'm not trying to start beef with nobody so everybody behave otherwise daddy's gonna get rude.

i also truly fully whole-heartedly believe the replier has no ill-intention, and probably has great love for the Kin (hence why they entered the discussion). it is also from great love for the Kin that i made the original post, AND from great love that i made my reply to the reply, which i felt ignored some issues that have for years been brought up + decided to seek the opinions of others who have more #knowledge than me.

wrt the kin i'm trying to like, be as... wide in my scope of it as i can and understand that yes, imaginary, bunch of shit not real, but also, very much real inspirations, and in these blurred lines of inspirations/imagination lies..... won't lie some racist biases, and perhaps what we could call intellectual colonialism: taking bits and pieces of real-life cultures for your Storey, while maybe not...... handling it.... the best........ again, i'm not like. The Best Person For The Job because. my sibling on this green earth i'm franco-french. but i try my best to read and listen what is said about the Kin by people for who their (mis)treatment matters most, and most of what i'm reading is. like Not Praise. ykwim..... i have no way of knowing if you, personally, are buryat or mongol or [...] & it's none my business, so i don't know how much of a horse you got in this race, but i'm trying to like. see things. a topic that demands careful examination and multiple perspectives? in the Multiple Perspectives video games? that's crazy.

there's also to me [as a storytellah] the fact that if patho wanted to fully represent all the peoples it is inspired by 1) it would be even more of a hodgepodge, and somewhat even more disrespectful, because the buryat and the mongols, while both Mongolic, are... not the same... they have different names for gods, places, different cosmogonies, [...]. the fact is, patho has multiple inspirations, and like. they're not... interchangeable... because central asian cultures are not interchangeable...... not monolithic......... and 2) it would make it so they can't go as quirky with the story as they did. the religion, the practices, the cosmogonies are invented (if inspired), and are not 1:1 to actual cultures. making it 1:1 to actual cultures would be disrespectful because you'd just... shove a new, fake religion upon these actually-existing peoples. or, you would have to write within the religious traditions of these peoples, which make it so. well. no living beating heart under the town, no albinos, no herb brides, no worms. you can make documentary-like games (i'd argue you should), but i think another thing that can/should be done is games by indigenous people about indigenous people and myths/stories, in the vein of "Never Alone (Kisima Ingitchuna)", by Iñupiat people, with an Iñupiaq main character, about Iñupiat stories/myths. we've discussed it in the big guy but lead writer D., being 1/16 Chinese, perhapssss doesn't really have the same relationship to the Central Asian cultures the Kin is inspired by as someone who is Buryat, or white/Buryat (like artemy), would have.

but at this core, i don't think patho wants to full represent the people it's inspired by. it's a story. it's interested in making a story. to me it appears it's interested in making associations and parallels, maybe even homages?, but never actual direct correlations or representation (which itself can be another discussion. the kin is obviously central asian, from central-asian inspirations: how much of it can be seen as representation? how much of it as appropriation?) it makes up fake people for its fake town dealing with its fake illness. all of those have foundations, have obvious, legible roots, but they're not the same, and i'd argue it's... more disrespectful pretending the kin is 100% [ethnicity] (because. uh. [70 pages document about the mistreatment of the Kin])

(i also think this... """blurred line"""... allows for a... in-game and out-of-game [esp. fandom] a certain like. distance. or maybe suspension of disbelief. about the racism. like "oh, they're not a real culture, therefore i'm not showing Actually Racist(tm) biases when i depict members of the Kin as engaging in ritualistic sexual abuse, as being sexually violating or violent,..., because they're Not Real, so it's okay" which is. methinks somewhat braindead take. seen with my two eyes against my will to be fair)

tldr

An Imaginary People that's Not Real while taking from obvious inspirations because that's what you do when you write a story; you make shit up, especially if you plan on getting quirky wit it in ways no Actual Culture is because you're putting. Worms and the living beating Heart under the town and a Tower that defies the laws of physics (fake and gay?) and nobody.. has those. + it'd be way weirder if those women you're killing and making sexualize themselves were meant to be Real Ethnicity. i'd argue that'd be worse. so yeah. imagined. HOWEVERRRRRR[1][2][3][4][5]

[skysometric]

why, thank you for asking! i've been thinking it through for the last few days, i just wanted to make sure my answer was all written and ready to go first. all... checks notes... 4,000 words of it.

ICYMI, last week i sent asks to a bunch of my friends with a simple question: "what's your favorite game you played this year?" as i hoped, y'all gave a bunch of EXCELLENT answers, all of which i reblogged on my side blog @autumatically! (if you didn't get an ask like this and you want to join in, ping me – i sent too many asks to keep track of and i probably just forgot to send one your way!)

of course i wanted to answer this myself, but i wanted to write about more than just one game! and when i sat down to write, i just kept going, and going, and going...

so we're splitting this up! every day this week, i'll be counting down my top 5 games that i played in 2023. not all of these are games that i've streamed, and only one of them has shown up on anyone else's lists so far, so i'm really excited to reminisce and share my experiences this year 💖

maybe you'll even find a new game to try out? i'm certainly really excited to dig through y'alls lists and try some of the ones i missed out on this year!

to kick things off, let's start with:

Honorable Mentions

two games came out this year that i would probably put in my top 5, no competition. so why didn't i? because i didn't actually play them!

see, as much as i love to play video games, oftentimes i also like to watch them just as much. this has always been great for games that i never intended to play in the first place, like the Final Fantasies and Fortnites of our day… but lately it's also let me take turns with my partner on who plays which new releases.

in fact, for both of the games i'm about to list, i watched my partner play them in full and i've watched no less than two separate people stream them as well. which means, with all that oversaturation, it's probably gonna be a while before i play them myself…

either way! here's my top two games that i didn't play in 2023.

Pizza Tower

this one likely needs no introduction! Wario Land 4 is one of my favorite games of all time, and the way Pizza Tower extends those basic concepts is a masterclass of game design. the moveset is perfectly geared toward accessible speed tech, the level layouts are top notch, the different forms are unique and funny, the art style is GORGEOUS, the combo system adds incredible replay value and pushes the player to their limits…

honestly the only thing stopping me from playing this right now is that the levels are too fresh in my mind, and i'd like a little time to let those memories fade before i dive back in and experience everything in a wave of nostalgia. seeing so much of the game already was totally worth it, though – i had the distinct pleasure of watching my partner learn how to P Rank most of the levels, and the simple joy of watching her build up her skills is one of my standout memories of 2023. proud of you, love!

god, Pizza Tower is a perfect slice of video game. i can't WAIT to play it myself!

Super Mario RPG

as a young kid, i always wanted a physical copy of this game. i could never justify it, though, because i already owned it on Wii Virtual Console, and it was one of the more expensive SNES games i had my eye on… a whole $40 in 2007 money! fast forward to the modern day, and not only do i no longer have easy access to that old Wii copy, but a physical cart now goes for like $90???

blessedly, along comes the Switch remake. i still can't believe this exists – it's a perfect remake in every way, shape, and form! the sprite-based animations are lovingly recreated, the battle system is rebalanced in fun ways, and the music is PERFECTLY re-arranged. even the dialog, which i expected to be completely retranslated… it's smoothed over, but mostly unchanged! the original game's unabashed weirdness and charm is fully intact, and i did NOT expect that out of modern Nintendo.

this is one that i didn't mind watching others play; Super Mario RPG is all about the vibe, and this remake captures that vibe perfectly. i'm excited to play it myself once it's had time to settle! but, for now, i'm perfectly content just vibing with others~

[imustbenuts]

personal thoughts about playing JP games in JP vs EN, a lot of weird thoughts that probably won't make sense to many

not a dig at localization or translation or anything, just a word vomit on how im perceiving things.

theres 2 main categories in my head when i play games made by japanese devs. Western Themed, and Eastern Themed.

for Western Theme, games like final fantasy (all of it), some/few entries of fire emblems, no more heroes, and elden ring all fall into this category.

for Eastern Theme, it's games like persona, shin megami tensei, sekiro, sengoku basara, tales of series and RGG games

in my head, games in the Western Themed box are games i find far more enjoyable in english localization or dub, and actually find some of the japanese script to be kind of off putting. the Eastern Theme would be the opposite, games that are far more enjoyable in full JP than EN.

learning japanese has done quite a bit to my brain and the more i learn the more i think, "@_@ oh god im in a weird place where people won't understand me help"

because see, if i try to explain, it becomes weird and very subjective. and one of the main factor is that language is kind of intrinsically tied to culture in my head, which, :v

trying to type it down to explain anyway:

as an example, calling people by titles such as "Lord", "Sir", "Madame", "Knight", works far better for a Western themed game than an Eastern one. like, yes, that makes sense if i think about it, historically and even right now, those terms instantly spring up the images of a medieval knight and societal system in stone castles. cool beans.

but we don't use the word knight for Samurais. this is a whole other thing referring to the Japanese class of people wandering around with swords serving their feudal lords.

and in JP, it works the same. Kishi is used for Knights rather than the word samurai. for Lords, 卿(kyou) is used for English lords, and 殿(tono) is used for JP lords. but the japanese pronouns are still there, with some of the roots just reminding me of how a stereotype in JP media would speak. the -sama suffix is the same, and other words like -chan or anime/japanese rooted verbal tics can totally get in there, pulling me out of the immersion.

its like running face first into "Tis but a flesh wound" in the script - you know that specific root is in monty python, a fully ENGLISH bit. a good example of JP would be running into a cat who says "wagahai wa neko de aru", refering to nastume soseki's book I Am A Cat.

especially in the case of Final Fantasy. with very few exceptions like 7, a lot of them fit better wtih an EN script bc of how much western themed theatrics and setting is packed in there.

as an example, i think i prefer seifer in ff8 for example going "One of these days, I'm gonna tell ya 'bout my ROMANTIC dream!" like a dumbass jock over "itsuka kikasete yarusa! ore no ro~~~~~mantikku na yume wo na!" like a dumbass JP highscooler (which he kind of is, but still not a dipshit jock)

so its really the little things like that. subs not dubs doesnt work for me anymore, im in a very strange place, kupo.

another thing is really, just... the tropes. the deep disconnect between how people behave irl and how anime thinks people behave irl. kind of like how Hayao Miyazaki puts it in 2014,

so, learning Japanese has actually done a weird bit where it's caused me to actually fully understand the JP, meaning when i pick up on the script getting off putting, it gets off-putting.

when people usually go "subs not dubs", its voiced from a sense that the JP voice is better than EN. but as the years go by this isn't really true anymore, some dubs can have serious quality that's unthinkable back in 2010 ffs. i think this is largely bc anglo-speaking audience do not understand JP, and so builds an imagination between the sub and the tone of the voice acting to carry the work.

but just like old ps1 horror games, that imagination is doing a good bulk of elbow greasing.

to explain:

there are times when JP writers puts in an objectively anime trope or thing. especially in the case of FE, where sometimes that it becomes 'ew' to people who aren't hardcore anime nerds. im talking things like the whole big booba onee-chan Camilla and the kawaii imouto/otouto Sakura and Takumi tropes thats kinda there in FE Fates. and the JP version of Anna's S support in Engage and the weird undertones thats going there.

masking it with subs can cause the audience to kind of brush it off as "aaah those silly japanese" or "ok this is just an anime trope". i mean, hell, check some discourse from people who yell about how this is censorship essentially defending it from what is effectively lolicon tropes and it's just. :v

and thats the thing. once that localization or sub barrier is removed, once im hearing actual JP and past any subconscious filter, i fully see the scene in its original form. i would then have a reaction exactly like hayao miyazaki.

having that ignorance kind of protects an audience from just how deep the writers ouroborous'd themselves into the nerd sphere. i kind of wish i had that sometimes. the creep vibes in some original JP scripts makes me want to crawl out of my skin, and there is no way i can explain this to an audience without first sounding like im disparaging the original work, shitting on the writers, and bringing in my personal bias into the conversation.

which, yeah i guess it kind of is. but man. if elden ring can commit to their bit with anime tropes used in a good/interesting/subtle way, then so can every one else.

when i started learning JP to play JP games never to see the light of localization, this was not the experience i expected, tbh.

so in summary, im totally disillusioned to the idea of Original = Best, Localization = Censorship at this point. that rose colored glasses are hanging on by a thread now. kind of wondering what other stuff i'll run into but it's been a real interesting journey that i totally get if people wont understand.

loneliness and language learning goes hand in hand lol

[bit-b]

Anti-piracy? Anti-emulator? Anti-consumer.

Disclaimer: I am NOT a lawyer. Do not take anything in this post as legal advice.

I just saw the promotion of a thing recently. For the sake of not inadvertently advertising their crap, I will not be naming who it was and/or what the product was that they were trying to push. I will say that it had to do with video game anti-piracy and emulation.

Lemme start out by saying that I avoid emulation whenever possible. I like playing my games the way they were intended to be played, on the consoles they were made for. In fact, people who follow me could probably vouch for the kind of crazy hurdles I've jumped through to pull off certain game streams.

Also, I DO NOT in any way endorse piracy. I'm a major advocate of paying for the content that you enjoy. If people don't pay for a group's work, that group won't have money. If they don't have money, they won't be able to do more work. Even if you wanna use a game or program a decade out of print, I still feel that it's a good gesture to own that product.

THAT SAID: EMULATION IS NOT PIRACY.

I can understand the confusion. After all, there are people online that host illegal copies of ripped games. And emulators have enabled people to be able to play those illegal rips without actually owning the game. It's easy to jump to the conclusion that every use of an emulator must be bad. In actuality, the emulators themselves are not illegal.

Pretty much all emulators out there are not based on the original code of the consoles. Emulation is possible due to years of 3rd-party tinkering and reverse-engineering to make certain games run on different systems.

So if you own the game, if you have the tools to rip said game, and if you use an emulator capable of playing that game on another device, then nothing was stolen. You're just choosing to play the game in a way that makes you happy.

It only becomes illegal if you choose to post those game files online for anyone to use. Because at that point, it can be argued that you're handing the files over to people that have not payed for the privilege to play. You would be denying the devs and publishers the right to profit from their work.But again, if you're not distributing content, no illegal actions are taking place.

So it makes me sad to see people look at emulation software and say "God, why do they let these kinds of tools exist?! Don't PIRATES use this software?? How is this allowed?!?" Because it tells me that people don't consider the context and intent of the use of these tools. It's like getting upset about hammers existing because some people have used hammers for murder.

For a different example, let's imagine that someone photocopied a card game, laminated them, and played with them in their swimming pool.

Now, imagine people complaining:

"Wait, you didn't scan those cards and print new ones to make those, did you?! That's a crime!!"

"You're not supposed to play card games in the pool!! It wasn't designed for that!!"

"Aren't you worried that the card manufacturers are gonna arrest and sue you?!"

"Don't you know they MAKE waterproof cards?! Why would you skirt around their official product?!"

And I say:

If any copies were made, it was only out of necessity for the tinkering process. Copies were not distributed to other people.

Just because a thing wasn't originally designed for something doesn't mean it CAN'T. If anything, showing that it's possible to make a thing do something it normally shouldn't is kind of interesting.

How is it illegal to take something you purchased and use it in a different way? You could buy a golf club and use it as a baseball bat. Should you be penalized for that?

Even if the product-maker makes the same kind of alternate product, what's forcing a person to use the official one over their own?

Like I said. DON'T pirate. Own your games and software. But I feel like people equate tools used by pirates as piracy itself. And that's not a fair judgement.

----------------------------------------

Now, that's just the FIRST part. The second is the anti-piracy.

Like I said, devs need money. I want to support them in their profession. I want to own what they create. And I encourage everyone to pay for the things they use. But what I can't stand is this idea that software NEEDS extra anti-piracy built in. (outside of the anti-piracy measures already implemented in your game launcher) In my opinion, adding extra layers of anti-piracy does nothing but harm the end-user.

Pirates don't use software with all the security stuff built into it. They use CRACKED versions. It takes a little time for them to crack it. But once they do, they have full unlimited access.

Meanwhile, I've heard only a handful of cases where 3rd-party anti-piracy measures are removed by the developers after it's no longer necessary. This means that everyone who bought legitimate copies of the product will likely be forever locked down by these stupid extra measures. And this sends the paying customers through all sorts of hoops.

They might have to always tag a security server on startup.

They might have monitoring software running routine checks.

The processes in the background might sap precious PC resources that the end-users don't want taken up.

Depending on how the anti-piracy was implemented, it could cause stability issues for the software.

The only true benefit I've seen for 3rd-party anti-piracy is the guarantee that the devs and publishers will be making their sales during the first 2 weeks of a product's life. Even then, people have managed to crack certain anti-piracy within the first 2 days. So it's not even a full guarantee. This type of anti-piracy is completely one-sided on benefits. The customer doesn't get anything out of these security measures at all. If anything, the customer would benefit greatly from NOT having them.

----------------------------------------

I've said it several times in this rant, but I really do want to see devs and publishers get their money. Especially when they've done a great job. I've just bought 2 games that just recently ditched their anti-piracy. But that's a privilege that I rarely give.

We live in an age where new experiences and tools are being made and released every single day. And thanks to this, I have a bounty of buying options available. I can easily pass on someone's product if I don't appreciate a company's distribution tactics. And I am more than happy to miss out on a fun experience if it means dealing with less bullcrap. And the more time that passes, the less relevant your product is.

I believe adding extra anti-piracy measures will only ruin your reputation. If you don't want to be consumer-friendly, I can easily find someone else that will. And don't you DARE be surprised when an up-and-coming developer blows past you, lacking all those shareholder-appeasing anti-piracy measures that you love so dearly.

[yandere-monoma]

WHOOO KYM 2 COMMENTARY while i stall on working on kym 7

lots to discuss about a chapter literally called 'the exposition' hjgkfsg. if you didnt know, the way ao3 multichap updates works is that you dont necessarily have to title a oneshot chapter but the second you update it, you really get shown the option to title your chapters. so it didnt actually occur to me that i needed names for each one until chapter 2. i believe originally i was going to use a similar system as kyd where every chapter title was a command a la homestuck. however, i wasn't really utilizing the commands in the same way, i didn't really end the previous chapter with one and the plan for the next chapter... technically involves a command but not one i wanted to spoil via the chapter title.

the current naming system came into existence probably 3/4s of the way or more into writing this chapter, once i made the realization that the fic was, in fact, going to be at least five chapters. at this point in time, the plan was the following: the introduction, the exposition, the climax, the ending, the epilogue. this changed even more as time went on and more chapter ideas rudely crammed themselves into my brain, though it helped the structure a lot, because giving me time to fill out the space between exposition and climax made my brain happy HJSKFG

so, moving on, the fun part about chap 2 is that it really establishes the 'narration' as its own living function, something that is vaguely independent of the story rather than just a tool to present the story with, that both voices the author's and the character's thoughts depending on who is grabbing for control. this isn't an aspect i planned when outlining the fic but it's definitely influenced by 1) how much fun i had reading the epilogues and subsequent epilogue flavored fics 2) my desire to find some way to one-up the first chapter despite the topic matter not being nearly as extreme 3) the impulse to add in another experimental element to the story, especially now that the more abstract and poetic style of the first chapter was being removed

it's also incredibly fun to play with, because every time i struggled with describing something or wondered how i could transition from one point to the other, i realized - oh! i can just make the narrator state that very thing. don't know how i'm gonna build up from the end of chap 1 to the narrative goal of chap 2 (rose's mkultra moment)??? let's just get that all out in the open, then! problem SOLVED

it ended up being a hugely fun choice that allowed me to inject some humor into what's otherwise just a big ole pile o' unrelenting angst. it also helped me take myself less seriously, which lent me even more creative freedom than usual, like. GOD. it really helped turn this piece into something so rewarding, it overwhelms me. goddamnit homestuck why do you have to be so good

i just rewatched butterfly effect recently, god. back to the future i've never seen though. time references haha get it cuz his aspect is still time-

speaking of time, this chapter was the first attempt to really try and describe a zeta kid's classpect without coming out and stating it. there's a few interpretations of different phenomena's in homestuck that point out the implication of classpect powers being active before reaching god tier, or even before entering the game (though, usually in a way that is incredibly weak, premature and subtle enough to be missed by the user). one of the strongest examples that i based this chapter on was something the epilogues described: the idea that rose's obsessive writing as a child was based on her light powers feeding her vague visions of her future character arcs and plotlines. i really loved that and wanted a similar sort of plight for dave. i'll go off about what his specific title is at the end of this chapter but it's really fun poking at it now and then

the multiple narrators? seriously??? bit was me realizing i had to add a Multiple Narrators tag on ao3 after this. at this point of writing, i had no idea if i would be visiting anyone else's pov besides dave's, though.

attempt at homestuckian humor GO

™️ jokes are so funny to me for no reason

wink wink hint hint this is one of dave's powers at work, actually!! so, dave egbert actually has a perfect memory. like, there is not a single thing he's ever forgotten in his life, if he's experienced it, he can recollect that knowledge. this power also extends to the imaginary, the subconscious, and the supernatural, ie: in the event that dave experiences any visions of the future, he will retain that information. likewise, he has memories of every dream and nightmare he's ever had. which is fun because considering he's a dersite and also a time player and also dave, he has a lot of them HAHA. more on that later

The two of you had hit it off instantly despite this, like you had known each other your entire lives, like any and every other relationship that had come before it had merely been a warm-up for the monumental connection that would spark instantly between you both. ... You’re pretty convinced she’s your soulmate. If not that, you’re at least assured by the fact that you’re absolutely head over heels in love with her.

sentences i had so much fun writing knowing how badly it's going to mess dave up to learn that they're actually related HA HA

Especially at the start, Rose was mysterious and she was hilarious and she was overwhelming, the brightest thing you’ve ever had the fortune of witnessing. 

get it because she's a hero of light get it she's the light of his life because shes a hero of light get it get it she's mysterious because her class mimics its opposite at the beginning of the story so everything about her pre-canon arc clings to void but she!! is bright! like light haha get i- 💥

see, reading sentences like this means i HAVE to at least write enough of their session to let dave both die and kill for his rose, like

also i need to write her killing and dying for him. well. killing for him. well.

killing.

perhaps just killing him. HAHAHA.

it is very fun to think about this because rose honestly just. does not talk about her relationship with dave much outside of mentioning that they're together. her narrative is so focused on the things that she wants the audience to focus on, so this was such a fun chapter to reveal the things she decided isn't important enough to ever let us in on.

like, she is so adamant that bro is the only important person in her life and the only person she loves, but she deeply cares about dave. she feels the same way, that they're connected in this way she can't pinpoint or name. and claiming him is exactly the right way to put it, because i don't think she knows how to acknowledge those emotions in herself, but she knows that she needs him with her always and wants him entrapped in a way where he can't get away from her.

i think rose is just incredibly attracted to what dave represents: safety, normalcy, the mundane, a reprieve from pain, but there are things about him that she just inherently gets. he's an outsider despite how much he attempts to fit in and i think there's something about that she relates to but also wants so badly to destroy and keep for herself.

also, this is a thing that belongs more in hcs than in kym specifically, especially because i imagine this taking place way earlier in their relationship, but bro absolutely knows about her relationship with dave. it isn't a secret. it's a thing that amuses him greatly. i actually imagine she shares a lot of details about him to bro, like allowing him this voyeuristic entertainment because dave isn't a threat to him, not really, and she shares every single one of her belongings with him.

in a perfectly pornographic world the two of them would spitroast the fuck out of him but this is a partially pornographic world that involves a meaningful plotline or whatever 🙄 smh

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh

this part was incredibly hard to write. not because it was difficult or emotionally taxing but because i reached this unfortunate impasse i find myself at every now and then while writing a lot of darkfic where i struggle with... it's not exactly the impulse to project, necessarily, more just.... feeling forced through into inevitability of it? or maybe it's the reluctance to use personal experiences vs the knowledge that doing it can benefit your writing (but also can hamper it).

like, very hard to write about a self-destructive teenager with violent tendencies without being reminded of the time when you were a self-destructive teenager with violent tendencies.

that reluctance is born from a rant i'm definitely not gonna get into unprompted but i'll just say that it definitely complicated things HAHAHA. i've definitely gone through a 'i'm going through a psychotic break and i'm going to ramble out 7835963463 crazy things into this dm window because the person on the other side said i could' phase. i've definitely just. been insane and vomited so many words out and ngl for a second there in the final draft when i was feeling too lazy to get into Stream Of Consciousness mode i was very tempted to dig up an old vent post and copypaste those thoughts in for rose but ultimately i thought that was disingenuous and a betrayal of her character SO

a fun but unexpected surprise was rose sounding far more like herself during her drugged moments of honesty. it's especially fun because even in the future when she doesn't have access to any sort of drugs or contact with bro anymore, i don't think she'll sound this much like rose lalonde either. it's like in her desperate search to find more of her brother, she's really just found a core part of herself that she doesn't have access to in this universe

'Is there a mechanical soul within me?' there is and his name is hal hi hal

it is actually incredibly fun playing with typing quirk punctuation. it's actually a style i utilized a lot in chatroom roleplay groups yeaaaaaaaaaars after homestuck ended, very much inspired by tumblr ventblogging typing styles, crytyping and all that. the idea that someone's mental state can and should be reflected in their typing style, which is something you really only see in canon in a character like gamzee (i cant remember if other trolls drop the quirk in times of duress in canon??? i think karkat drops his as a joke about volume sometimes but that's it). i don't even know if it even really comes across as blatantly as it feels when i write it, but it's so fun to see the consistencies in a way a character types slowly but surely fall apart as they grow unstable

so the way this is designed, it's as if rose had a moment of finally being in touch with the core of herself, with what ultimately makes her rose (complete with proper punctuation), before slowly but surely lapsing back into ro-stri as she loses her punctuation piece by piece, and then ultimately devolving even more as she abandons her capitalization to type in a way that's reminiscent of dave but, more importantly, bro's typing quirk

'I think there are lives inside me/the life inside me is his' is so funny to look at in hindsight. this chapter was halfway finished before the pregnancy plot had even come into being, and this was only ever supposed to be a reference to the identity blurring she's experiencing, and this half-truth, half-delusion about being able to sense everything lil cal has injected into her and her brother. it is so STRANGE to reread it now knowing that it's become foreshadowing to her pregnancy, especially with that next sentiment following it:

'Sometimes I wish it was yours'. again, that idea of being soulmates, being connected with someone permanently. and, again, that idea of codependency, and rose being unable to express or understand love without that need to merge herself with the object of her affection. and again this was befORE the pregnancy plot was a thing so now every time i read this line i sit here hoping people dont interpret it as rose wanting dave's baby HGJFKGSGSG i swear im not into breeding i sWEAR

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭😭😭

DAVE IS SO CUTE I ALWAYS DIE REREADING THAT PART HE'S SO CUUUTE

also i struggle so SO much writing comfort scenes especially dialogue meant to comfort someone but this came out so easily. perhaps because it's a futile attempt and i didn't have to worry about the recipient of that comfort actually feeling soothed...? hmmm!

i have nothing to add to the romantic cannibalism confession besides :3c

i don't actually reread this chapter all that often anymore so finding this paragraph was lovely damn shoutout to this sentence that made me choke on my water as i was reading it cuz i was so distracted by how much i didnt remember writing this that i forgot to swallow and my drink just slid down into my lugnshjskdfg

then it is a series of letters in a language you wonder if she’s made up, that is somehow so cohesive in its chaos that you start to doubt even that. 

more horrorterror references as if the literal last paragraph wasn't enough HAHA

a very fun part of designing and outlining the killswitch au is deciding who gets what plotline. for example, does rose strider get to go grimdark because she's rose? or does jade lalonde get to go grimdark because she's the lalonde with library access to the grimoire? unlike the characterization formula, there isn't an easy answer to this one. i'm mostly just going with what's more fun narratively and what makes a better and more cohesive storyline for the verse.

either way, though, ro-stri still has a connection with the horrorterrors, simply because she's a dersite and because i love a character that is so utterly doomed that every evil force on the face of the planet wants to take a turn on them. what's better than this... getting psychologically gangbanged by every demon in existence...

DID YOU KNOW I AM SO VERY FOND OF DAVE EGBERT AND HIS LOVELY PAPA WHO LOVES HIM SO MUCH

i am also so very fond of a dave egbert who cries alone in front of his computer cuz his girlfriend makes him so very sad every night like poor baby does Not Sleep and its so cute gjkgs

'its just prose' annoys the shit out of me to see because i wrote a similar line in a published piece of writing a couple of years ago so i can't reread this without being reminded of That hgjfkg

i will never write a strider rap i have the highest respect for any author who can but it'll never be me

their dynamic kills me HJKGFGKGS peak toxic romance right here god i wish i could write even more of it... i need to write more daverose so fucking bad....

a fun line because 1) i rly enjoy dave's half-forced half-genuine emotional voyeurism it's just a rly interesting aspect of his personality to write and 2) it's fun to have a moment with dave e's specific brand of humor since it's not as long-winded as a strider's would be

i rly forgot so much of this chapter HGFKGSGS oh dave... i love you... i love writing you so much...

stream-of-consciousness style writing is really fun like you get taken to so many unexpected places in the process. generally when i go SoC style i tend to have a few goals i want to land and this image, dave watching over rose in derse, was one of the big ones

ALSO THE IRONY OF DAVE CALLING HIMSELF HER PRINCE WHEN SHE IS ACTUALLY THE PRINCE OF THE SESSION HEHEHEHEHE

the lil cal staring contest is also another big one. it's just such a fun image to allude to like goddamnit i wish i could draw. it feels like an image that i can't even really describe properly what i want it to mean because it explains itself and there's not much minutia to pry free, it's just. them. rose inexplicably and perpetually being drowned in this cancerous evil at a rate that not even dave strider got to experience.

lmfao shout out to me explaining his memory power earlier forgetting that i explain it in the chapter HJSKFG

oh well NOW I GET TO ACTUALLY DISCUSS HIS CLASSPECT

so dave egbert issssss....

🥁 [drumroll] 🥁

the MAGE OF TIME!!!!

and changing classpects actually did something incredibly interesting to the story. killswitch never would have worked as a simple homestuck rewrite, because i dont think swapping the guardians is something that can ever be simple. so it didnt make sense to keep their classpects exactly the same, because they wouldn't have the same personalities or the same backgrounds to craft those personalities, or the same issues that were born of their uniquely shitty backgrounds. it also didnt feel as easy as making rose a knight of light and dave an heir of time, etc etc. like, while rose is not insecure in the classic way that knights should be (it can be argued that the 'i am my brother' facade can count towards knighthood... but her role in the story and what it will turn into once she joins the game definitely brands her a prince through and through)

through researching for killswitch i ended up coming to this conclusion about sburb and how i approach classpect and hs narratives in general:

and because of that, it was super easy to reassign everyone based on what they've been turned into through the switch in their roles.

it also made for another easy characterization formula: their aspect represents their 'nature' while their class represents their 'nurture'. so all the zeta kids still belong to the same aspect while their class changes rapidly, though how close or how far it is from their original class really depends on their character

anyway, mage of time is an incredibly fun role that actually breaks the rewrite narrative almost more than rose's classpect does. as the mage of time, dave actually steals the cryptic psychic role from jade and john harley (though, i do have thoughts on that matter, because there is still going to be a benefit for them from having access to prospit, and that plotline will still be involved in some capacity... probably).

and it's a very fun, partially accidental discovery within the au that the zeta kids are all... just a tad more prepared to enter sburb than their predecessors. rose is completely aware of the fact that she's training for something specific and dave... dave knows that the game is coming. he doesn't know the specifics, he doesn't know that it's sburb specifically that will bring them all together, but he knows there's an it, he knows the day he'll meet all his friends in person will be a day for the history books, and he knows that rose is in danger and that he'll be able to help her in a way no one else can.

some mage of time thoughts, many of which inspired and/or describe dave egbert's storyline:

source

source

source

the above was probably one of the first interpretations i read and really what solidified him as a mage, my initial thoughts to his classpect and how it interacts with rose's was the following:

and it's just so fun GOD rly hope i get to write in his perspective more in the future

haha yeah if we ever get to it yEAH if i ever get off my ass and actually finish writing this wholeass au which i nEVER WILL CUZ I DONT WANNA WRITE 500K WORDS GODDDD IM NEVER WRITING A HOMESTUCK AU AGAAAAIINNNN

[softgrungeprophet]

i had these in the tags on the trailer for the new game but i'm putting them in a post instead it's just less obnoxious that way + some extra thoughts at the end

HELLO? SIR?? HELLO??? MR KRAVINOFF, oh he's so tall, this makes up for the twunky movie casting and the fact that i can't stand the gameplay for the tasm2 game where he's 9 feet tall (i want to play it but i just... can't do it... the menace system is not good...)

wait are they gonna let us go to queens?? or just cutscenes, i guess it could be like the raft stuff in the first game where you can't actually go there...

OH PETER GROSS I LOVE IT, I'M READY SIGN ME UP, oh the jaw… that's such a cool way to do symbiote spider-man actually though…. sleek but meaty

WAIT YOU GET TO PLAY AS MILES AND PETER BOTH AS SPIDEY???? not just the civilian stealth stuff anymore... i mean that makes sense but i never thought about it really.... ough...

oh that slingshot animation is chef kiss mwah beautiful

HE CAN FLY?! (*glide)

sidenote still love how slender miles is compared to peter it's a good detail, gangly teen vs grown man—i know literally everything with miles in it does this but it's just. good.

ooh webline trapeze… seeing lots of very good mechanics here…. ohh spooky… oh thank god it's the lizard i thought it was gonna be a dinosaur and was like, no... but it's not.

miles has some realllllly nice animations very slick

i'm sorry i cannot help laughing at peter's hoarse voice. is that supposed to be evil venom influence??? lmao? it sounds goofy. just let him talk and put him through a vocoder or whatever it is they use for that stuff. voice modulation. like a turian. or glados. i guess the buzzing speech for turians is less #badass than Mr. I'm Trying Really Hard To Sound Gravely But I Mostly Sound Like I Have a Cold (which, it IS a parasite...) but I will say that my headcanon voice sound for Agent Venom IS literally just Garrus LMAO

Peter here sounds like what i'd expect from swine flu grim hunt peter 😂

oh this lizard section is giving me flashbacks to the arkham asylum sewer section… 😩 that shit was so tedious but this looks much faster and less drawn out esp if 2 includes the accessibility features from the previous game(s)

that "he's got sharp teeth" > *dark voice* ''so do i…'' LMAO I'M SORRY i like dark peter and I like symbiote spider-man in theory but it's just so.......... i cannot take it seriously..... it's the fake gravelly voice.... the knowledge that i just KNOW they're working from the "symbiote makes you bad" angle even though peter is just like that....

''he's never like that'' BULLSHIT HE ISN'T this is propaganda ugh but it's whatever, this is what i expected anyway, every media tries to push that peter is innately good anyway, even the comics that are actually in-character, so it really could go either way as far as peter's levels of goody-two-shoes-ness...

i'm excited regardless of the fact that it's probably going to be very par for the course as far as venom is concerned, even though the most the symbiote ever really did with peter was like... make him stay up all night... like... c'mon it doesn't change your entire personality, it mostly just makes your emotions less stable... the rage has to be there in the first place to be emphasized... granted i guess miles would not know peter's angry dark side ideally since peter should generally be a good teacher who is purposefully gentle but it IS still a lie to say that peter isn't like that tbh... like as corny as "so do I..." is it's like. Peter WOULD just say that even without a symbiote. like. he would. it just wouldn't have a long lingering dramatic camera shot—i think that's part of what's making it funny for me. it feels like parts of the gameplay trailer are slightly too protracted, where if they were just a little bit snappier, a little bit briefer and more to the point, with less waiting for quips/jokes, it would feel much tighter and a little bit less funny (though his gravelly voice is still just kind of inherently amusing to me)

hopefully the venom plot doesn't suck ass, i AM excited to use peter's nasty symbiote tentacles, that shit looks extremely fun and i love the weird organic look on the suit... appreciate that it's still glossy and slick, and very straightforwardly patterned in black and white while also being fleshy, cause the texture was kind of my least favorite aspect of movie venom personally, so i like this look... it's not as sleek as some designs (which i personally tend to favor) but i really do like the way the jawline appears to be worked into the "mask" and the way it kind of melds musculature and "clothing" together.

the real question is 1) will they force me to look at the "remastered" face for Peter and 2) if so will this game come out on PC, when, because I would rather not look at that face.

(also because I don't have a ps5 and will not be able to acquire one any time soon unless i suddenly come into a helluva lot of money)

[demon-of-side-quest-hell]

Gonna probably make the roleswap thing before curse of Calavecna. So here's my notes about it that I wanna say about that.

Rhymini sweep (I'm SORRY to all you Juvini fans, but also episode 30 has me fucked UP with that Rhyme interaction and I need to write a world .)

Hahaha, remember in the notes the last time I talked about it I said I wanted to make Gigi a God, mere days before episode 23 released? Yeah, we're going full steam ahead on that and because of that, I wanna make it clear, Gigi is probably gonna seen slightly out of character, but that's kind of a necessity with taking the direction I'm going. In my interpretation, episode 23 implies alot about the nature of Gigi prior to meeting Cody & Crew, she's a bully for one, and also she's likely alot more proactive and provocative. I kinda wanna make her God form a gaming headset so Rhyme fucking seethes about Gigi taking such a similar form to what SHE wanted.

In this I wanna reintroduce or remix alot of ideas from pre-release stuff, and so with that I've actually landed on PB's initial starting place. He's just straight up the same guy as in the base game, but he just got ascended sometime recently before the game started, it'll be left vague as to how, but it will be stated that he betrayed some cool kid and that he wasn't ascended via a God candidate. With that, Cody and PB actually knew each other before the events of the story since they both worked at lil greasers together until PB ascended, and PB's place in the world will be rough, Cool Kids think he stole someone else's place and losers think he's too cool to hang with.

Technically a continuation of the last thought but I I'm unsure of how Skatepizza will be there if at all, the ways I could do it are all each interesting, but I don't know if I even want to have that be a "build-up", People deserve to relish in a bit of Skatepizza stuff, I might just have it be "complicated" due to them being opposite statuses now.

I know Juvie's the one everyone thinks is the epitome of "Fuck The Rules And Fuck The People In Power" but that's really not how I see Juvie, Juvie likes to independently be rebellious, Juvie doesn't seem to have any intentions of existing outside the system in which they actually live until they're genuinely confronted with that choice by someone they know, and so, like Daniel in the base game, Juvie is maybe the most stuck in their ways about stuff, except Juvie wants to help push losers up towards ascending through any means necessary so, you can probably see what happened with PB.

Speaking of Pre-release ideas and people being anti-god, Holden! Holden is going the be the most Anti-God person but in the very background, waiting for his moment. As "The Coolest Loser", he's able to slip into cool kid spaces so long as no one inspects him too closely, and he uses that to his advantage, he often will sneak in and take things from cool kids or get info he shouldn't have. He and Juvie often work together to get losers ascended and cool kids descended, but he wants to spark outrage in the losers and sympathy in the cool kids, whereas Juvie just sees it as "justice".

G-ma is still overbearing and corrects Cody on everything, trying to make him "perfect", but she is more clearly trying to actually help him since she's not trying to prevent him from turning into a loser but help him turn into a cool kid. Think more like Aunt Nat and the other pizza family. Mini's allowed to do whatever she wants in G-ma's eyes, since she's already cool, which is a good mirror to PB, who's now allowed to do whatever but feels even more confined and restricted.

[junipaca]

jotting my thoughts on pokemon rejuv so far since im just finished battling hazuki.

likes:

hell yeah more utilization of double battle scenarios. those are my jam and butter i have so much fun calculating who's gonna target who and what the fuck should i go for. I'd like to thank my cinccino and weavile. fakeout helping hand combos so well with my tanky or fast sweeper pokemon.

the field options and crest system are cool as hell. its gen rlly creative and i had to get used to it and use my brain, it throws a wrench in usual pokemon play and style. it also lifts some underutilized pokemon! its manageable though. and the boss battles were gen rlly cool! rift pokemon my beloved. rlly hard in the beginning but i learned to cheese it eventually (curse + leech seed + whirlpool + toxic with corrosion)

the difficulty i think is spiked p well, its good enough that you aren't out of options, almost never, but you got to use your head around certain teams and foes. EV training is a MUST, luckily there are EV training centers. i hate IV hunting so i used the password for full 31 IVs all the way . you also need some basis of pokemon competitive i'd say.

speaking of passwords those are gen rlly nice to use, saves some time. i got a remote pc with me and that saves like 50% of the handling when preparing for a boss battle.

the aevian forms are so cool. my fav has been probably chandelure and leavanny so far but i just caught a feebas so who knows. i also have a gastrodon who's so silly i love that design

god the characters are so nice. i love the individuality of each character presented to the player, and you kind of got to twist one part to get to the other and know why the first part was twisted. that being said, if you asked who my favs are its adam ren and talon. silly dudes. but i also know i would EAT this up in my younger years a lot more. but even now i still adore them. found family is dear and nice, especially well done for a large cast jesus fuck

also worldbuilding. i don't want to say more but woah. good job.

i adore [REDACTED] very dearly and i have to apologize every time i see them. i wish i got to know them more. hopefully more appearances later??????

iffy stuff:

i want to like venam and melia's relationship a lot more than i do now. i think its just uncertainty with their previous known age gap before the time skip? eh.

I'm. very confused about Risa's whole schtick. i don't want to say more than now because spoilers and all. but i think too much information got laid on with that arc that my brain exploded there. wish it was just a bit clarified or so . (also is she 18 or 21??????? the internet and the game confuse me. this matters because i have to know whether to sock dylan or not)

some of the sidequest lines are misleading. they say "go to [here]" and when i go there nothing happens. its only when i search up the issue online is when i find out that i have to do Something Else first. just wish it was more clarified or such? if that makes sense? its like someone told you to go to the field or smth but didn't say you had to talk to the lady at the building first.

honestly i think the story confusions i have now are going to wait until The End of this game because rn it isn't fully complete. i will wait as long as needed until everything releases before i can make a full assessment. like. this has so much work put into this game. for FREE. NOTHING OF COST. like holy shit i can wait forever and ever. i have 130+ hours into this game. i can't believe this is nothing of cost. so a positive note here in this category.

comments:

honestly ive seen a ton of critique towards this game, so i was sort of jumping around trying to assess how hard it was going to be and whether or not i would be actually interested. i'm delighted to say i am. key note: don't listen to reddit when they say "too edgy". i know my edgyness. i i also quite enjoy some of it. i think its a matter of taste.

if you try out this game do have. a lil handful of pokemon experience in terms of speed, sweeping, and tanks. i think some basic knowledge there would go a long way. then again i played normal mode, there is an easier mode if i remember. either way, get ready to strategize.

also rec me more games im almost caught up w everything pretty please i need something to occupy my brain.