#god chami

[introspectivememories]

@chamiryokuroi YOUR MIND!!!!!! I AM SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS TWEET

[no-1-rosalind-lang-apologist]

Genuinely cannot believe that there are people reading immortal longings and thinks there is no queer rep like my brother in christ are you sure we’re reading the same book

[jimilter]

the damsel & her knight | j.jk. | mini-series

Extraordinarily intelligent, really handsome but insincere as heck, Jeon Jungkook is your childhood enemy, the Chairman's son, the apple of your parents’ eye and now also a co-worker that you are forced to rescue out of sticky situations every other day. You fear it is only a matter of time before he has you entangled in his mess as well.

pairing: jungkook x reader rating: m (18+) genre: humor | angst | fluff | enemies to lovers!au | chaebol!au | ceo!jungkook | vp!reader word count: 44 k +  note: so yeah. i gave up and accepted that this is gonna be a whole-ass series. i love these two too much to stop writing ’em! 😭 the overall word count and rating will be updated as things progress. tell me if anyone wants be added to the taglist! 💜

ps! unnumbered parts are extra drabbles that don’t contribute much to the main storyline.

— masterlist | feedback | ao3

▸ CHRONOLOGICALLY;

▸ 01 | knight in distress | pg-15 | 2.5 k | You hate him so much. And you also hate God for gifting him with such a delectable body when he literally has a peanut for a brain. Life is so unfair.

read here!

▸ 02 | damsel in shining armor | pg-15 | 4.8 k | Earth has completed a little over a revolution around the sun since Jeon Jungkook was brought onboard as the company’s CEO, but what does that change? Not a thing! You’re still his babysitter, he’s still an uncontrollably chaotic toddler, you still hate yourself for finding him hot, and he still needs you to save him from a crisis. Life is still so freaking unfair.

read here!

▸ 03 | disaster management | m (18+) | 17 k | An important investor wants to withdraw from a future project at Jeon Security, and you, the company's President, are to handle things before they blow over. A task that would have been easy despite the meeting’s location being the investor’s daughter’s wedding.  Only – the presence of your unruly CEO, Jeon Jungkook, by your side the entire night when paired with alcohol… may lead to way bigger disasters than what the two of you can manage.

read here!

– the ferrari guy | pg-15 | 5 k | You hire an assistant – and Jeon Jungkook loses his mind. Is that irrational of him? Not when the guy you’ve chosen flirts like a hooker, looks like a runway model and dresses like he’s Giorgio Armani himself. 

coming soon!

▸ 04 | make-believe it’s hyperreal | m (18+) | ~20 k | The Chairman of Jeon Security has finally decided he needs a Vice Chairman to shoulder the responsibilities. You know you're the only one at the company who deserves this post, so if everyone thinks the promotion should stay in the family? Well, fuck that shit; you're gonna get engaged to your frenemy-with-benefits, Jeon Jungkook, and join the damn family! Or, at least – you're gonna pretend to.

read here!

– out of time | pg-13 | ~3k | Maybe there was hope, once. Maybe if he’d apologized when you fell into mud because of him when you both were 6 instead of blackmailing you because he was nervous. But Jungkook still distinctly remembers exactly who it was that comforted you after that incident, too. Maybe there never was any hope, after all.

coming soon!

▸ 05 | name tba | m (18+) | ~15k | Jungkook has gone back to his womanizing ways. Nothing about this amuses you now. There’s a pressure on your chest you can’t decipher; you’ve never had your heart broken before.

coming soon!

© jimilter | 2022

taglist: @shrimpmsg @codeinebelle @afangirllikeme-blog @duchesskaren @opaljm @knjsnoona​ @lovelynamj @kookiya17​ @jub-jub​ @realisticnotes​ @chami @dopedreamfireparty​ @fanficscuziranout​ @prod-yuri @parkdatjimin​ @jkkkkkay​ @zshenbi @ahundredtimesover​ @ggukcangetit​ @jwlmnbt​​ @luv--you​​ @jiminscheekies​​ @hubbytaehyung @callmejimmeo​

[vaguely-yandere]

oh god chami ur brain is so big. so wise. UGH you're really good at this.... writing sm on the fly!! <333 hrrghhrghhh ur last response is making me so </3 im feeling so many things rn. what do you think would happen if sensitive yan ended up being your roommate? lets just say its you're a uni student who's dorming arrangements were switched around this year. you dont recognize the name of your roommate you were assigned, but you cross your fingers and hope that whoever they are, they're nice. you just want someone to get along with, really. your last roommate, while nice, wasn't exactly the type of person you clicked with; thus you were really hoping the dorming admin gods were looking favorably upon you when they put you in this double room w this person!

but oh, if only you knew. sensitive yan is freaking the hell out---THEY know who you are. you're only the person they've been majorly crushing on/obsessing over for the last year. you, who they've seen around campus and in their english class. you, you, YOU... how did they get so lucky?

i can only imagine how awkward the first few months are. you ofc, attempt to get to know them the best you can, in order to avoid the weird "never more than an acquaintance" situation you had with your last roommate, but god, they make it SO HARD. sensitive yan makes up any and every excuse to never be in the room the same time you are; they return in the early hours of the morning to avoid talking to you while youre sleeping, they leave even earlier to make sure they're not there when you wake up; its a never ending cycle of cat and mouse.

you honestly are getting a little tired of their behavior. was it something you did? you don't ever recall ever doing something to them; you havent even TALKED to them, for crying out loud. you were also getting a little concerned that they weren't getting enough sleep or taking care of themselves!

you begin to feel a little hopeless but you're determined to break the ice and finally speak to them. you had just gotten out of one of your classes early, and knew that you could catch sensitive yan off guard by booking it to your shared dorm right away. (somehow, they seemed to know your schedule like it was their own; they somehow managed to never be in the room when you were, which was honestly getting a little impressive considering its been literal months since the semester began. but you could tell that they were in the room while you were out by the various items in your dorm being shuffled around while they did what they needed to do )

you knew they wouldn't be expecting you, and you were hoping that they weren't in class right now. although, as you sneaked up to unlock the door....

"ah! a-ah! hnnn....!! darling....!!"

? was that... what you thought it was? with your keycard already pressed up against the handle, the door swung open before you could decide whether or not you wanted to run; and there they were!

on your side of the room... on YOUR bed... with their fingers shoved inside themselves and whimpering. their eyes looked glazed over and they were drooling, the room was humid and hot. it smelled like they'd been at it for a while, too. it took another second for your brain to realize that they were holding your shirt too, the one you thought you lost the first ever time you did laundry in the laundry room.

the moment they heard the door open, their head snapped towards you. your eyes met.

well, this is not how you expected your first meeting with your roommate to go!

-hehe!! sunny <3

SUNNY YOUR BRAIN IS SO BIG AND WRINKLY!!!!! I COULD SMOOCH IT!!!!

you're racing to your dorm, a giant smug grin on your face. you dont know why but you were invested in this game. sure, your friends said theyd be thankful if their roommate was never around but they didnt understand. you just knew they were avoiding you and you needed to know why! did they know you?! did you do something to them?! this is fucking university, if they had some sort of grudge over you then they should tell you to your face like an adult!!

and now your here. eyes wide. your roommates chest is completely frozen despite heaving only seconds before. theres two towels underneath them to keep from staining your bed. their hair is a mess. the entire room is blasting you in the face with humidity and heat like a sauna. you always kinda wondered why the room smelled like outside air after you got back everyday..

and your roommate. god, your poor roommate, theyre eyes are glassy from forming tears, theyre completely tense, you can barely comprehend the humiliation and embarrassment theyre experiencing right now.

so you take a deep breath (god, it smells so weird) and bring yourself back to the present. "i'm. gonna shut the door."

they nod, getting shocked back into their own body by their words and finally breaking eye contact.

"and you... do what you need to do and open the door when you're done. and if you run, i will chase you."

they nod again and you start closing the door, not before making the 'im watching you' sign just to be clear.

is it wrong of me to admit that this is extremely hot?

after a while, they open the door and obediently dont run, simply stepping aside to let you in.

when you walk in, the window is open, it smells like fabreeze and hand sanitizer, your bed is exactly the way you left it and the tshirt they were holding was no where in side (although the boxes under their bed are in a different order) so you take a seat on your bed, purposely avoiding the spot they were masturbating on, face feeling hot.

"sooo....."

they dont respond, eyes trained on the floor while they sit down on their bed, wringing their hands. theyre still emitting enough heat you could feel it from there, a small bead of sweat trailing down their forehead, to their brow bone before being wiped away. their fingertips are pruny and red.

".... i get it."

theyre head snaps up to you but the second they make eye contact, they tilt their head back down, biting their lip.

"no, no, seriously, i get it, just needed some... privacy but what i dont get is.. my bed." you graciously dont mention the tshirt. it was an old promotional tshirt that you had been using as a night shirt for a while so you werent really missing it but youd absolutely be snooping under their bed when they left. you felt like you deserved it and a lot of your other stuff had gone missing or randomly replaced so you were curious about their collection.

"ah..." they finally look up but at the ceiling, eyes flitting from tile to tile. another long beat of silence follows, pulling a sigh out of you.

"just tell me. this whole... avoidance thing is getting old. did i do something to you? is this.. revenge? just tell me like an adult and if you want, we can pretend this never ever happened! please, just tell me cause its starting to piss me off knowing my roommate, who i hoped was nicer than my last one, is purposely avoiding me and i dont even know the reason for it!"

"i-i...." they mutter something under their breath, eyebrows connecting and shoulders rolling to shake off the anxiety.

"i cant hear you, hun." the casual nickname makes them squeeze their eyes shut and a small shudder wracks through their body.

"pl-please dont... dont call me that.... you dont- uh- know what it.. d-does.. to me." they stuttered through their sentence, tumbling over their words and their voice barely audible.

"what does it do to you?! cause right now, you're kinda acting like a kid! i dont wanna be rude but its true and i dont wanna be roommates with a kid!"

the look of utter heartbreak makes you wanna shove your words back into your mouth and choke on them.

"please no! i just- i- being around you it-" they take a deep breath, biting their lip. "it does things to be and... its the type of thing that.. that isnt appropriate when the other person isnt uh... a-aware of the reaction their actions and words are um... c-causing.." they sound strained, trailing off at the end of every few words, fidgeting in their spot.

"... thats it?"

"huh?"

you shrug. "i get it. thats.. embarrassing and i dont understand why but clearly you care enough to not wanna have... that reaction around me without me knowing so that means you arent all that bad. im glad you-"

"p-please stop!" they whimper, bringing their knees to their chest and hiding their face.

"wha- seriously?! right now?!"

"yes right now! i c-cant exactly control it! if i could, i wouldnt ever have this.... r-reaction!"

"oh my god... thats.... thats kinda hot.."

their eyes widen to the side of saucers and they shoot towards you, pupils giant before they squint and their eyes roll back, forehead hitting the top of their knees and they fall on their side, twitching.

"did.. did you just...?"

they pause before slowly nodding, squeezing themselves tight enough you can see the whites of their knuckles.

"... huh...... hey, have you ever heard of exposure therapy?"

youre gonna kill me

[linopolitan]

immortal longings characters + their roman counterparts

i've not been on this blog in like literal ages but i just finished reading this book and i figured making these connections might allow for some foresight into the rest of the trilogy but god forbid i put some of my findings on goddamn twitter of all places so here it is

(spoilers under the cut for obvious reasons)

calla tuoleimi (cleopatra, ptolemy) and anton makusa (antony, marcus) are obvious; i think this is the cut and dry point stated for anyone even trying to look into this book

august avia and otta avia = octavian (later, augustus) and his sister, octavia, also mark antony's wife; while tuoleimi is an obvious bastardization of ptolemy, i'm not sure if shenzhi stands for something (or maybe i'm just dumb who knows)

king kasa = caesar/kaiser, bc like yeah

galipei weisanna = marcus vipsanius agrippa (this might be a stretch but its the closest approximation i can find both through their roles in the play and their names)

leida miliu = marcus aemilius lepidus, one of the triumvirates alongside antony and octavian

pampi magnes = sextus pompeius magnus pius, one of the rebels working against the triumvirate

eno = gnaeus domitius ahenobarbus (i could not find anything on this guy other than him being aligned with antony at some point and this pissing off octavian)

chami + yilas = charmion and iras, two of cleo's servants and advisors

pls let me know if i'm missing something or there's something you want to add on bc my brain is going haywire after that ending kek

[chamiryokuroi]

CHAMI!

ive been meaning to ask you this ever since you said you're reading the pjo/hoo/toa/*imsert rr acronym here*. what's your favorite character so far, excluding percy and annabeth? (im excluding them simply bc they're everyone's favorite. it's hard not to love them)

my favorite from the moment i read hoo, was always jason grace. i thought he was the coolest. the lightning powers, the roman-ness, the being raised by wolves for a year, the way he could make practical decisions even if they were kinda callous. (see: leaving nico in yhe jar) god i still remember the shock of coming online for the first time and realizing that everyone hated him. it really does suck that rr had no interest in developing his and the romans backstories.

tldr: who's your favorite character? what do you think about jason? and lastly, what's your biggest issue with rr's writing?

as always, sending you lots of love! <33333

Lmao I’m sorry I forgot about this ask until right now 😬 ok but now to answer your question my favorite (aside from Percy because Percy is the best) has to be the a tie between Nico and Hazel, I just love the Hades kids and their stories, they have such sad backstories but they’re doing their best (eventually, yes I am looking at you Nico, you know what you did, not you Hazel, you’re an angel and we’re so glad you’re here). Also the fact that their powers are absolutely badass and I love to see them showing off during a fight.

I love Jason, not gonna lie I was kinda angry at him too during that whole thing with Nico, but then I remember he was basically raised as a soldier so it makes sense why he said that, but also later on he is such a good friend to Nico. He definitely deserved better and I am so sad he had to die (absolutely hated Hera crying about him tho like bitch you were the cause of 99% of his problems the fuck are you crying for????)

I think my biggest issue with the writing is that sometimes it does feel too fanfic, like sometimes the story advances way too fast and we don’t get the development we could on the characters, then again this is a kids book series so it is understandable they need to keep their attention.

[echo-master]

I am obsessed with D&D

I spend two days a week just playing D&D. I also have work, so it's not like I just have the free time to do it. No. I work around it.

I love playing D&D, and despite loving kobolds, I've never played one in a campaign. This all changes on my next Wednesday session, however!

My old character, a barbarian bunnyfolk named Celeritus has died (I made everyone cry, proudest moment of my D&D career,) and I've made a new character! The DM has finally let me be a kobold, with a couple rules in place.

"Please don't be sexual, I swear to god-"

They are a bard. Who used to be the house pet of an abusive vampire. Horny is all they know, hun.

But actually, it's a pretty cool character idea. Their name is Chami, (Ka-Me) with the nickname of Chai because that's a lot easier to say, and they're a college of sketching bard.

Well echo, what's a college of sketching bard? It's a subclass I made myself, and focuses on using your bardic inspiration die to mark an enemy, making them much easier to hit and raises the damage floor on your spells against it. This all comes at the downside of when using these skills, the marked target gets a bardic inspiration die to use on whatever they want.

Chami also has a magical paintbrush called the "Brush of the Eight", which creates magical ink with different effects. Each ink type has an effect, a charge cost, and a fatal flaw (A downside to using the ink type.)

A fatal flaw can be negated by spending twice as many charges on the ink. Here's an example, the Orange ink:

Can be applied to a creature with a range of 20 ft. Increases the walking speed of the creature by 15 ft for two turns.

Fatal Flaw: Once this ink runs out after two turns, the creatures walking speed is reduced by 15 for two turns.

I'm very proud of myself, as I came up with all of this in just one day!

Read more for a bit of character lore!

Cool, you're still here!

Chami is a green fluffy kobold, definitely the best kind of kobold to keep as a house pet. She was kidnapped by vampires at a young age, around 13, succumbing to Stockholm syndrome and magically induced amnesia at around 17, forgetting what life was like before her time there, only wanting to serve her master through housework and other menial tasks. Once she turned 18, she was marked by her master, shown by a red diamond in her pupils. Her master also started feeding on her from that day onward, rotating between her and the other, less obedient servants. Her obedience and work ethic made her the favorite, however.

At the age of 23, she was out doing errands for her master, before getting lost, losing the map to get back as well. This is how she'll meet the party.

I'll add anything here that's important, or that I forgot! I'll also try to add the other ink types, as I get them! They're not all unlocked at once, sadly.

[captain-ozone]

Mid-Year Book Freakout Tag

I'm super late!!! It's Aug 8, 2023, and since BookTok/BookTube intimidates me, I'm posting here.

I've read/listened to 72 books/audiobooks this year so far, so here we go! Credit for the tag goes to BookTubers Chami and Earl Grey Books.

Best book you've read in 2023: "Best" and "Favorite" are two very different things. If I remove the emotional components and sheer feral love I have for certain books and look at it from a "craft" standpoint, the answer is probably Tomorrow & Tomorrow & Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin or Babel by RF Kuang.

Best sequel you've read in 2023: GOLDEN SON BY PIERCE BROWN. Red Rising has me by a chokehold and by god does Golden Son hit all of my checkboxes.

New release you haven't read yet but want to: A Day of Fallen Night by Samantha Shannon. I still have yet to read Priory of the Orange Tree too. I'm waiting for the former to go paperback so I can match the Priory copy I have lol.

Most anticipated release for the second half of 2023: A few weeks ago the answer to this question was Light Bringer (book 6 of Red Rising). But I've since read it (AND IT WAS SO GOOD), lol. As of today, the answer is Ruthless Vows by Rebecca Ross.

Biggest surprise: Nettle & Bone by T. Kingfisher. I listened to this audiobook from my library on a whim, and I just fell in LOVE with Kingfisher's untraditional heroine and the capacity she has to invent her own fairytales from the bones of others.

Biggest disappointment: Swordheart by T. Kingfisher. After Nettle & Bone, I had the munchies for more of T. Kingfisher's work. Swordheart isn't bad, I guess, but I definitely did not find the same level of enjoyment here that I did from Nettle & Bone.

Favorite new author (new to you or new debut): PIERCE BROWN HANDS DOWN

Newest fictional crush: Idk if I have one, tbh. Better question is who my newest blorbo is. That honor goes to Darrow of Lykos, Sevro au Barca, and Lyria of Lagalos, all from the Red Rising series.

Newest favorite character: Oh. I forgot this was a question. LOL. Still, I somehow have a different answer for this one than I do "favorite blorbo." Newest favorite character is Tress from Brandon Sanderson's Tress of the Emerald Sea. I found her so relatable and likable.

A book that made me cry: Will I ever read a book by TJ Klune that doesn't hurt so good? I read Under the Whispering Door this year, and I honestly think I'd recommend it to anyone. It's soul-food at its finest. Jade Legacy (Book 3 of the Green Bone Saga) is another that had me sobbing.

A book that made me happy: TRESS!! Genuinely such a wholesome story inspired by The Princess Bride. You don't need to read any of Sanderson's other works to appreciate this one. It's so sweet and fun.

Most beautiful book you bought/received as a gift: All of Brandon Sanderson's Secret Project Kickstarter editions have been stunning, but Yumi and the Nightmare Painter is next level. If we don't get an anime/manga adaptation, I may lose my mind.

The book(s) I need to finish before the end of the year: Lol, too many. My TBR is extensive and ever-growing, and I often go through my TBR in a pretty chaotic way. As in, I have a lengthy list on hold via my 3 different library cards on Libby. xD I think the only thing I for SURE want to read is ACOTAR. I'm sick of feeling left out, lol. I did Throne of Glass via audiobook, so ACOTAR is the next on the docket. I'm definitely planning to read that one with my physical copies because I heard there's more spice, and I've decided spice via audiobook is really, really weird. Don't really dig it.

ANYWAY, please feel free to fill out and tag me! I say "my TBR is extensive" like it exhausts me and I can't possibly suffer any more, but I WANT MORE OKAY???

[shimchangmins]

me whenever i see a pic of changmin: SHIMI CHAMIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 MY BABYYYYYY!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[no-1-rosalind-lang-apologist]

Calla: Should I kill off the characters in my book to make it more exciting?

Chami: What kind of book is it?

Calla: An autobiography

Chami:

Yilas:

Calla: What??

[clairenvk]

the fact that i didnt join the pinescone ship in its prime will forever haunt me and make me cry

[vaguely-yandere]

good morning chami <33

just woke up and now i have to go work at my silly little part time job :// school also begins for me tomorrow so now i’ll be a working student!! (ahaha save me)

i don’t even get sleep paralysis, but what about a sleep paralysis demon yan… one that initially scares the sh!t out of you one night when you wake up and see it out of the corner of your eye… it’s a dark, shadowy figure, vaguely human, but you can tell it’s looking at you. you’re freaking out but you also have been dealing with sleep paralysis for a while, so this encounter isn’t entirely unexpected, thank god. you’ve just never seen a figure before today.

each night it seems to get a little closer. sometimes, as you drift off to sleep, you can almost hear little whispers of awe and praise, but you’re certain you’re hearing things. the closest it’s ever gotten was at the foot of your bed, just looking at you expectantly, but never moving closer. like a good dog being told to wait. honestly, some fucked up part of your brain is telling you that it’s a little cute, always staring at you but never doing much more. you even managed to smile a little bit during one night, and it definitely wasn’t expecting you to look at it so fondly, because it looked shocked (as shocked as a wispy demon could be) and promptly disappeared. it came back the next night of course, but it was back to its original far corner of your room.

maybe it’s a little shy??

- sunny <3

entities,,,, <3 also, good... day? night? idk my sleep schedule is all over the place lol but i hope youve had a pleasant time at work! (and sorry it took me so long to get to this!)

but, well, i imagine paralysis demon yan being pretty one dimensional (pun intended!).... are sleep paralysis demons one dimensional..? mine kinda were! i think. i kinda blocked that out as much as i could! it was weird.

anyway!!!!! this is a good idea, i just don't seem to have the type of creativity to really build off of it! (if someone is reading this and does, pls pls build off of it, i will kiss you consentually) but i think it'd be fuckin terrifying to wake up and just see them laying next to you, hearing distorted panting, seeing their form squirm more than ever and they're just. staring at you.

you know that video game with the sleep paralysis demon that whispers to you? i think itd kinda be like that!! batshit terrifying. and scary. but you kinda just get used to it after a while and, well, sometimes they manage to move your blankets back into place or pick up a pillow/stuffed animal you dropped and tuck it back into your arms, sometimes you wake up with your hair in a more protective style if you went to sleep without one (highly recommend looking up sleeping hairstyles for all hair types, saved me SO MUCH time and tangles!!!)and yea, sometimes you see them when you're awake and yeah, sometimes you overhear someone who was rude to you talking about having terrifying sleep paralysis even though they've never had that issue before and yeah, if you leave snacks out specifically for them with a note attached to clarify it's for them, they're gone in the morning and yea, sometimes you can see them trying to push you down and tuck you in when you stay up too late but those are minor things!!! everyone has a completely crazy moment in their life where they have a very intense delusion their sleep paralysis demon is in love with them, right???? hahahaha (poor darling omg)

and i hope you're into somno cause that's the only way you'll be able to have sex with em. i mean, y'all've tried doing it without you falling asleep but it just leaves both of you wanting more. the faint tickly feelings that could maybe possibly be them touching you in the pitch black darkness of your room just isn't enough! and everytime y'all try, poor Yan just sits by the edge of your bed, pouting... maybe. it's hard to tell cause of the lack of a proper human face.

and just laying there while they touch you has GOT to be trippy. cause you're aware of it but also not? like being mostly asleep and unable to tell what's a dream and what's reality and you're just so comfy and warm that you don't care which is which, as long as you get to stay in bed <3

[cherryblossomsno1fan]

bsd characters except it's conversations/things me and my friends have said

Dazai: everybody attack Atsushi he's suppressing his emotions again

Junichiro: I mean?? same?? but yeah let's focus on Atsushi

---

Atsushi: Akutagawa is threatening me send help

Dazai: I mean what else is new-

Kunikida, from a distance: yeah not surprising

---

Yosano: shakespeare was bi, yes, but the bi was short for bitch.

---

Akutagawa, running in a hallway: aye you can't get rid of shit.

Atsushi, following him: it's me, I'm shit.

---

Ranpo: I just choked on ramen and felt it in my nose.

---

Dazai to Elise: why do you laugh like a child- oh wait.

---

Kenji: does british count as a language?

---

Kunikida: no one likes mushrooms until like college but they're really good.

Atsushi: I like mushrooms

Kunikida: so we do have someone with taste in this agency

---

Dazai: AYO. OK BUT THAT WASN'T GAY.

Chuuya: yeah, it's not gay if you didn't see it

---

Gin: bruh the trump stans are taking it too far

---

Q: CRYPTIDS ARE ABOVE GENDER!!! MOTHMAN IS NONBINARY!!

---

Kyouka to Atsushi: I'm going to be honest with you right now I have no idea what the fuck it is that we're supposed to be doing but like hell I'm going to admit that

---

Fyodor: I wanna be Russia's big daddy

---

Q: I'll just pour apple juice in a shot glass and pretend it's tequila

---

Mori: children die everywhere!

---

Kouyou: there was this girl with a really hot voice but then she started talking about christianity so i just left.

---

Atsushi: she also said that I looked gay

Akutagawa: I mean

Akutagawa: she's right

---

Kyouka: I'm just gonna chill with my lego baby yoda and pretend i never saw that

---

Dazai: I have a ball of aluminium foil I might just choke myself on it

---

Chuuya about to use corruption: you've shawtied your last shawty bitch

---

Ranpo: *to the tune of money by abba* honey honey honey, where the fuck are you

---

Dazai: no. I am a vacuum.

Chuuya, in the distance: that's why you suck

Dazai: yeah well at least I don't swallow, whore

---

Hawthorne: God is shining through my window.

---

When the ADA watched the dragon prince

Kunikida: why are there so many same-sex couples on this show?

Ranpo: because gay people exist, Kunikida.

Yosano: yeah, don't be a bitch Kunikida.

---

Kouyou, drunk off her ass: fuck anxiety, be gay for women

---

Atsushi, with the voice of an excited child: iT'S A SQUIRREL AGAIN

---

Atsushi: I can see my hair and I look like a lesbian

---

Dazai: I knew you weren't straight since you were 2

Akutagawa: how?

Dazai: you were always a fucking fruit.

---

Elise: my cat is more gender neutral

Q: I kin that cat

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Nikolai: PACK THE CHICKENS AND UNFASTEN THE SEATS WE RIDE FREE OF THE EXTRA WEIGHT THAT IS OUR HUMANITY AND WE CROSS THE SEVEN OCEAND AND THE 2 SEAS AT DAWN. DONR LET ANYTHING HOLD YOU BACK. THIS IS YOUR MOMENT TO RIOT. MY FRIENDS.MY COLUMNISTS. MY COMRADES. MY RUSSIANS.WE.LEAVE.NOW. OUR TIME IS HERE

---

Atsushi: HOW DID I NOT KNOW I LIKED HIM

Atsushi: LIKE HOW DID EVERYONE KNOW BEFORE ME

Dazai: bc you're a dumb gay bitch

Atsushi: fair point

---

Dazai: fuck short people and not in the good way

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Kenji: you drenched in pool water dorito

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Naomi: smirks in simp

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Kunikida, talking to the agency: let's face it, we're all just stupid gays

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Ranpo: why do you car turns into lighting mcqueen

Yosano, not even looking up: kachow mamas

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Steinbeck: hi hello I just found Cthulu x reader smut

Francis: who tf is cahtukl

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Chuuya texting Dazai: I HAT =W YOU

Dazai: you hat =w me ok bet

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Dazai: gay (dogatoty)

Atsushi: DOGATOTY??

Ranpo: dogatoty

Yosano: dogatoty

Dazai: NO

---

Dazai: hc that bald kurapika is a time traveler

---

Fukuzawa: what happened in this damn nightmare of a chat

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Chuuya: Fyodor is definitely homophobic

Dazai: we should all be gay for a day then

Chuuya's closeted ass: yeah,,, haha

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Dazai: "trickshot!" i say as i throw the (closed) lunch container. it in fact was not a trick shot because instead of going in the trashcan it hit my friends arm and exploded everywhere.

---

Ranpo: who's my sweet little pigchapm

Ranpo: pig-

Yosano: PIG

Ranpo: MY MISSPELLING DID THAT TO MY SWEET LITTLE PIGCHAMP

Ranpo: MY SLEEP DEPRIVED ASS KEEPS RYLING PIGCHAMO

Ranpo: PIG CHAMO

Ranpo: PIGCHAMP

Yosano: YOU ARE PIG CHANP.

Yosano: CHAMP*

Ranpo: CHAMI

Yosano: pig-chan

Ranpo: NO

Ranpo: yknow what fuck it

Ranpo: "oh pig chan thou eyes shine bright like the mid summer moon and thy thighs are as fat as they come, now make love to me under the moonlight , this holy night before the sun arises and you have to depart for the future" whispered Shakespeare in pig-chans ear

Yosano: I 'OEHHELAHEPP

---

Dazai texting the gc at ass in the morning: LOOK YOU KNOW WHAT I KNOW FOR A FACT SHAKESPEARE WOULD USE THE WORD STAN AND THE WORD PUFFERS

Dazai: POGEERS*

Dazai: PEGGERS

Chuuya: PUFFERS

Dazai: POGGERS

Dazai: DAMN IT

Chuuya: shakespeare is my pogchamp

Dazai: PLS

Dazai: "snakspeare is me pogchamo umye lads

Chuuya: what if i pegged shakespeare

Dazai: jail

Dazai: horny jail

Chuuya: #brocken

Dazai: "ah yes shakesapee rhat beard is so hot" moans

Chuuya: write me a poem bitch

Dazai: "talk victorian english to me " moans harder

Ango who supervises the group chat and is the only adult awake: I hate it here.

[chamiryokuroi]

Chami, Chami, I had plans, plans! for between christmas and new year, but then you made that post about looking for AC fic, and I saw the answers, and thought "why not? looks short", and that was a mistake. Thank you (honest), and if you have any recs (besides esama's) I would greatly appreciate them, I am about this close to going to ff net for more

Recommending once again my all time favorite, the slowest burn to have ever burned, the ultimate “oh god please communicate with each other I am begging you” fic.

Sass-Badger Versus Son-of-No-One by @bewareofchris

Mind you this might not be for you,it is modern AU, it is AltMal, and it does deal with some hard stuff so do keep that in mind and if you are willing give it a try, I promise it is absolutely worth it.

Eagle of Alamut by teecup_angel is progress, but so far it is amazing, Desmond Centric with time travel.

[singedblackfeathers]

@moonlitnoir​

The pillow smacks him in the face because he doesn’t react in time, but Chami snatches it away as wild laughter overtakes him. “Oh, God! You’re so gullible!” He starts wheezing, clutching the pillow to his chest.

[thirstyhellfirenacht]

The Ciarog Cockwarming Fic

Cia is part of The Conglomerate, a Beetlejuice Mafia AU. For more info visit @beetlebitchywitch, @sofasmut, @realmonsterboyhours @do-ya-hear-that-sound  @monsterlovinghours  @beetlejuicebeadoll

This fic was made specifically to kill @beetlebitchywitch because of our mutual thirst for one (1) Irish Demon.

The Clones belong to @yankyo from their amazing series “Who’s Who?”

Exhibitionism, public sex, cock warming,

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It had been months since you had the chance to go and visit Cia at his pub. The other had kept you so busy at home lately that you’d hardly been given the chance to leave the estate. Not that it was a bad thing- there was hardly a lack of entertainment with everyone around. But even with a large manor filled with so many people, it could still feel claustrophobic at times.

Not that being at Cia’s pub was much better in terms of crowds. In fact, the surprisingly small pub held quite a number of people in the small dining area. Out of all the Dons, you wondered how Cia could afford all that he could when it seemed like his Pub, while quite popular, wasn’t quite as... financially beneficial as the others fronts. You had asked him once, but he just gave a cheeky wink and said that after being alive as long as he’d been he was more than okay with a smaller mafia. You suspected that the Fae were involved somehow, but since he liked talking about that even less than the shadier parts of his dealings you decided to leave it well enough alone.

Normally when you visited, you sat at the bar and watched Cia work. He didn’t need to tend to the bar himself, but you got the feeling that he genuinely enjoyed it. Every time you were there he was bustling around and joking with customers and keeping your drinks topped off. He flirted and smiled and could make even the crankiest patron lighten up. Something about Cia just brought people in, even with that invisible wall he often put up to anyone who tried to get too close.

Tonight was slightly different, he had wanted to bring you here on a proper date. He asked you to wear a dress for him- not a completely uncommon request though that was normally when he and Bajo would take you out together. Even when wooing you he was still thinking of ways to tease his husband. But you'd been happy to oblige and had slipped on a flirty dress that Gio had brought you just the other week.

When you two had arrived, instead of taking his place at the bar he immediately started walking you around, introducing you to regulars and showing you off. It was a little embarrassing but the look on his face was so happy that you didn't have it in you to want to hide. He was proud to call you his partner, and you felt proud to be that.

Once he was done, he pulled you into a booth in the middle of the room with a perfect view of the stage ahead. For the next hour his attention was completely on you, buying you drinks and making you laugh. It wasn't often that you got his attention completely to yourself, oftentimes it was a tag-team with him and Bajo so this was very nice.

"This is nice." you commented after a few drinks, leaning against his shoulder, his arm wrapping around you easily. "I've missed you." you admitted.

"I'm sorry, leannan." he said, stroking your hair and pulling you onto his lap. "I know things have been busy for me, but I'm gonna make it up to ye, okay? I'm all yours tonight."

You smiled and leaned against his chest, playing with his hair. "I'm all yours too." you replied, leaning into kiss him. Cia kissed you back and ran his fingers along your side causing you to shiver a bit. The alcohol combined with being so close to your lover kept you relaxed and content even if there were other people around.

"Is that a promise?" he asked and you responded with a teasing nip to his neck and a sound of confirmation. "Good." His voice lowered into his chest, and it was at that moment you realized what your words would mean to the man.

Ah, fuck.

A hand slipped up your thigh and under the hem of your dress, tracing your sex over your underwear. A soft whimper escaped your lips at the feeling and you could already tell how amused your lover was.

"Hush now, we don't want everyone here to hear ye do we?" he purred lowly in your ear. You shook your head, but you didn't try to push him away either. The lights in the pub went dim, which almost startled you before you saw a few people hop on stage. Your eyes widened slightly as a few of his clones introduced themselves as the entertainment for the night. Cia had planned this well, hadn't he?

For the first two songs, Cias' fingers simply teased along your panties, stroking over your clit in small circles and occasionally tapping in rhythm with his fingers. Small jolts of pleasure were sent through you as he acted like he wasn't getting your panties soaked from his teasing. Occasionally his hand would stray down your legs and press into the hickies that his husband had left the night before, adding a little discomfort to the pleasure.

Once you were sufficiently squirming in his arms, he slipped your panties off. "Eyes on the stage, leannan." he chuckled. "They've worked so hard for this, so you better pay attention." Easier said than done as a finger slipped into your soaked entrance. Once again he was teasing you, not giving you what your body craved. His finger swapped between very lightly pressing against your g-spot and sliding in and out of you. Occasionally you'd snap back to reality as the drunken crowd around you would laugh and cheek for the clones onstage. It was a blessing and a curse- on one hand the volume of the crowd meant you were allowed to quietly moan and whine but on the other occasionally someone would be facing your booth and you'd have to pretend that you weren't being edged and teased to the point were you were close to begging for Cia to take you to the back room and fuck you senseless.

A firmer press to your g-spot had you biting your lip and a shudder ran through your whole body. "Hold still piseag." he teased, pressing another finger into you and massaging your insides deeply. You were trying so hard not to shake and writhe in his arms as he took you apart with so many people around. Your heart sped up as you made eye contact with another patron for a second, who just smiled before turning back to their friend.

"You're throbbin' around my fingers, piseag." He said in amusement. "Is this excitin' ye? Bein' all worked up while any o' these people could see?" You couldn't even try to deny it as you gave a miniscule nod. At that his fingers sped up for a moment and you let out a sharp gasp, clinging to his arms for a moment as you felt your orgasm approaching. You were so close, and stars danced in your vision as you tried to focus on the band. God it didn't help that Jazz looked at you while on stage and gave you a knowing wink. That nearly sent you over the edge before Cia's hands pulled away, squirming under you.

It didn't surprise you in the least that you felt his hard cock, but it did surprise you when you felt it slowly pushing inside you. Cia adjusted you in his lap, hissing in pleasure as you were seated. Oh god, his cock was inside you with so many people around. You tightened around him at the thought and his teeth nipped at your shoulder in response.

"Sit still." he ordered, holding you firmly on his lap. "And not a peep outta ye." God you wished you had never told these boys about your cock warming kink. First Zhuk on the train and now this. These boys really were going to be the death of you.

For a far too long drinking song, Cia held you completely still, not touching you other than the cock deep inside you. It was torture, you could feel yourself dripping and soaking on him and to make matters worse, you could see the clones occasionally glancing over at the two of you giving you carnal looks. Cia had promised tonight he'd be all yours and you wondered just how much of him there would be.

"I see you starin', piseag." Cia purred into your ear again. "Thinkin' about my clones while I'm inside ye?" You tried to shake your head, but you both knew that was a lie.

"Can't... can't help it." you panted quietly. "They look almost exactly like you."

Another song started, the upbeat tempo had the crowd cheering like made. You assumed it was a very popular song but you could hardly think to remember the name, especially when Ciarog's leg started bouncing in time to the beat. You almost let out a cry of pleasure as his cock bounced against your g spot as he jiggled his leg under you.

"Ciarog.... please" you begged quietly, but he pretended not to hear you- an easy task with all the noise in the pub at the moment. That Irish bastard, he knew exactly what he was doing to you at the moment. You were even begging and he still wasn't letting up. You let out a small frustrated whine as once again you were edged closer and closer to orgasm. You were so close now, closer than you had been before all he needed was to keep bouncing his leg just a little more-

As long as the last song was, this song was as short. You dug your fingers into his pants in protest at the edge, but he didn't seem to mind. After all, his husband had done way worse to his thighs before. The clones thanked everyone for coming before headed over to your booth, all of them piling in and looking at you hungrily. Each of the clones' hair was tipped magenta.

"Did ya enjoy the show, eun òran?" Jazz asked with a shit eating smirk.

"F-fuck off." you said weakly, earning a chuckle from the group before you let out a gasp as you felt something warm and wet begin to lap at your clit. You closed your eyes, rocking your hips forward desperately as that sinfully good tongue was giving you what you'd been craving all night. For a moment the group looked confused before Ren stuck his head under the table.

"Chamie, ye animal get out from under there yer gonna blow her cover!" he scolded, pulling the clone back by the collar. You let out a whine from the loss.

"But she smells so good...!" protested Chamie. "And Boss literally has his co-" Wasp was quick to throw a hand over Chamie's mouth.

"That's 'cause boss knows how to be discreet, amadan." Jazz snapped back quietly.

Ciarog held you tighter against his chest for a moment as he watched his clones squabble amongst themselves. As much fun as he was having teasing you, it was a double edged sword as he was also teasing himself. He was ready to drag you to the backroom and fuck you senseless against the barrels of ale.

"I think she's been good." Ciarog decided, finally dipping his fingers down between your legs to rub slow circles around your clit. Chamie tried to duck under the table again, but he was held firmly in place by the others. Cia had made it clear tonight- he gets first dibs on making you cum.

"Oh god... oh thank you thank you thank you." you whisper quietly, trying hard to look natural even as the clones stared hungrily at you, taking in every twitch and gasp that you gave as Cia's fingers slowly pushed you to the edge. Even when he was giving you what you wanted, Cia was still being a tease- how had he learned to touch you so gently but still keep you headed towards an orgasm. Oh, it was near torture as he slowly built you up as he started an easy conversation with the clones in front of him. Even though they were all chatting, their eyes never left your face, none of them wanting to miss the moment where your eye would roll back.

As you got closer, they moved in to keep you as best hidden as they could from the other customers. They didn't want a stony-faced orgasm from their girl- they wanted something more satisfying. So when you finally peaked from Cia's gentle stroking, you were okay with letting your eyes roll back and letting out a shaky gasp as your dripping pussy clenched around Cia's cock. He groaned at the feeling, rocking his hips into you just a bit to get some stimulation of his own. Oh, he was going to ruin you once you two were alone but for now he let you ride out  your bliss on his lap.

"Piseag mhath" He cooed as you came down. He nodded at Chamie who reluctantly slipped under the table again and helped you put your panties back on, unable to resist a quick taste of your dripping cunt before hand. You shivered at the touch to your sensitive clit before you were removed from Cia's hard cock.

He tilted your head to look at him, and he gave you a soft kiss before pulling back. "Backroom. Now." he said, getting up and out of the booth before offering his hand. "I'm not done with you tonight."