#bungou stray dogs incorrect quotes

[incorrect-quotes-4-u]

BSD Quote #4

Ranpo, looking at a map: It’s a barren, featureless wasteland out there, isn't it?

Dazai: Other side, Ranpo…

[f1ght-or-flight]

Dazai, in a high voice, holding Barbie: hey Ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!

Chuuya, in a deep voice, holding Ken: nonsense Barbie. You're staying home and having my kids

Kouyou: what the fuck are you guys doing?

Dazai, still holding the Barbie: playing systematic oppression

[hopefully-helpful-daemon]

Dazai: *casually taking four stairs at a time*

Chuuya, falling behind, taking two stairs at a time: Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you-

[candysmiles373]

Atsushi: "You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?"

Kunikida: "Several traffic violations."

Yosano: "Three counts of resisting arrest."

Ranpo: "Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks." <-- Drank all of them.

Dazai: "Also, that's not our car."

[incorrect-bungo-stray-dogs]

Port Mafia Enemy: I invited you into the woods because I crave the most dangerous game.

Young Dazai and Chuuya, nodding: Knife monopoly.

Port Mafia Enemy:

Port Mafia Enemy: I was actually gonna hunt you for sport, but now I'm interested in whatever the fuck knife Monopoly is.

[saelxa]

Kouyou : You're grounded

Chuuya: No I'm not >:(

Chuuya: *floats on ceiling defiantly*

Chuuya: Now I'm ungrounded see

[darkreunioniscoming]

Fyodor: I donate my blood in the hopes that my blood will overpower theirs and take control of their body, so I can gain another vessel to use at my own will.

Dazai: Is that why you haven't been attending my tea parties?

Fyodor: What?

Dazai: I have to invite Chuuya! And sometimes Atsushi.

Fyodor: Why would I go to one of your 'Tea Parties'. You're seriously just going to poison my drink.

Dazai: I don't poison the drinks. Chuuya does.

Chuuya in the back, pouring poison into a tea cup: It's so much fun!

[all-too-random]

BSD Incorrect Quotes

Chuuya: I’m going to take you out

Dazai: Great, it’s a date!

Chuuya: I meant that as a threat.

Dazai: See you at five!

[sakyira]

Dazai: We are taking this young lady hostage!

Chuuya: No. Overruled.

Dazai: I overrule your overruling

Chuuya: Must you be so difficult?!

[b33sblog]

Atsushi: I owe you one.

Dazai:Thats ok. You can just date me.

————————-

Dazai: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. no response

Atsushi: wow they sound stupid

Dazai:But they’re not, they’re really smart actually just dense

Atsushi: Maybe you just need to be more obvious. Like I don’t know….”hey! I love you”

Dazai: I guess your right. Hey atsushi I love you

Atsushi: See! Just like that

Dazai: Holy fucking shit

Atsushi: if that flys over their head they are way to dumb for you dazai!

Dazai: Atsushi.

————————

Atsushi: so if you where in bed with me what would you do?

Dazai: that depends…..is your bed comfy?

Atsushi: I would like to say so.

Dazai: I would sleep.

———————-

[noose-lion]

Chuuya: Nothing can dent our unbreakable bond.

Dazai: What if I have a secret boyfriend?

Chuuya: You mean Doppo?

Dazai: ...

[koiblossom5]

mushitaro: my life is in the hands of an idiot! atsushi, pointing to himself and kyouka: no no no, TWO idiots!

[hopefully-helpful-daemon]

Dazai, literally just existing:

Kunikida: If karma doesn't hit you, I fucking will.

[littleholmes]

*during dinner with the Port Mafia executives*

Mori, picking at his meal: Kouyou, where’s Kyouka? Elise won’t stop whining about wanting to braid her hair again and I was hoping she—

Kouyou: She’s with the Armed Detective Agency

Mori, grimacing: You mean the child protective agency?

Chuuya: *starts choking on his wine*

Mori: It’s not funny! This is the third child Fukuzawa’s taken from me.

Kouyou: Now, Ougai, Dazai wasn’t quite a child when he joined the Agency—

Mori: First Yosano, then Dazai

Chuuya: Boss, are you okay? Wait, are you crying?

Mori, wailing: and now Kyouka…it’s only a matter of time before you or Akutagawa join them next!

[rae-pss]

(y/n), at dazai's funeral: i need a moment with him.

everyone: of course. they leave

(y/n), leaning over dazai′s coffin: okay, listen here you little shit. i know you’re not dead.

dazai: yeah, no shit.

[saelxa]

shin soukoku would be so awkward at first

Atsushi, pointing: Can I sit there

Akutagawa: .. That's my lap

Atsushi: is that a yes

Akutagawa: