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saturnsummer · 3 years

Text

i don't mind forever.

AU: When Sol is handed a case, she doesn't realise how big the case gets. Luckily for her, her best friend is here. (AU of lawyers at Hankuk Law Firm.)

notes: all credits go to @thenerdywriter !! she gave me this prompt just days after i joined tumblr, and i’ve been working on and off on it ever since. my first au series, so please go easy on me! i know i’m practically killing myself for doing two series at once, but i’ll deal with it later. as always, big love to everyone! any grammar mistakes and all will be taken fully responsible by me!

ao3 link

words: 4035 words

one.

Sol scrunches her hair in frustration. She twists her long, wavy light brown hair in a bun, fixing it with a jab of her white, long chopstick hairpin. She adjusts her bangs for good measure and resumes with her report. She reaches over to her coffee mug, only to find it empty. Great, it’s the third coffee she had today, and it wasn’t even lunch. Hearing her colleagues nagging on drinking too much coffee in her head, she stands from her desk and pushes the glass door of her office to the staff pantry. Her heels click against the marble floors as she strides across, filling her cup with iced water before retreating back.

It would have been a normal day at the Hankuk Law firm, but it wasn’t when she had such a pressing case.

It's been weeks. A client of hers has pressed charges against Lee Man Ho, claiming that he scammed her life savings. Lee Manho was a convict that was charged for raping multiple women and on several occasions, sexual harassment. He had been on good behaviour after his release for a couple of years, with no complaints and no news. Only now did his name resurface. He was snarky in his speech, manipulative and quick with his tongue, but most of all had a sinister smile that sent shivers.

Sol, being Sol, couldn’t say no to the poor woman. How could she? She experienced her fair share of poverty from growing up in a single-parent family that made enough to get by. She sympathised with her feelings, knowing just how stressed this poor mother must be when she can no longer afford to pay rent for her home, even less so the necessities for her toddler kids. Because, too many times, Sol was found broke and skipping meals so she could have her younger sister, Byeol, be fed instead.

With the help of the local police, she found more victims to be scammed, all similar in their scenario. Manho would call under the alias of a financial aid consultant, sometimes an insurance agent or bank teller. Then, he would extract their bank numbers from them, effectively draining their money away. By the time they victims tried to call back, the number would be out of order, or picked up by another voice, evident that he used another number to cover up his.

None of his victims had anything in common. Some were rich, some were poor. Some were female, some were male. And Manho had long disappeared in the wind the moment he got out of jail. He was said to be sighted once and when the police placed eyes on him, they lost him that same day.

His digital footprint was an utter headache as well. The police had other things to matter, and figuring out his digital footprint was the least of their concerns when they had important murders and urgent matters to solve.

But two could play this game.

Seungjae was a good friend of Sol’s. They were close acquaintances in school and kept in close contact. He, unlike Sol, was a whiz with computer codes and had his fair share of hacking experience. She remembers how he would hack into the system during school events and broadcast short music videos on the school televisions during breaks. Despite their age gap, he was always courteous, nice and kind hearted in helping others.

Seungjae eventually found a job with the police force, using his skills to legally hack criminal networks and dark nets. He was essentially part of a task force that identified suspicious activities like mass radicalisation, fake news and essentially tracking down internet hackers. It was a no-brainer that Sol would approach him, even though she knew that he could only legally hack under his work orders, not for personal favours.

Well it’s best she at least try.

She called Seungjae, who was fortunately free, and agreed to meet at a cafe. The sun was out, warming them from the autumn breeze that chilled them. Sol grabbed her coat and placed a post-it on her door, informing her colleagues of her business. Sol, while dressed in a warm coat, was undoubtedly freezing from the breeze. If only she could go back to law school, where she wore jeans and sweatshirts all day. Instead, she had a light blue long sleeved blouse, a knee length pencil skirt and a midnight blue blazer, and her only coat she had weakly shielding her from the cold.

“Sol A, what gives me the feeling that you aren’t calling for the purpose of catching up, but for a favour?” Seungjae asks as soon as his ice coffee arrives. Sol is amused at his habit, that he still calls her Sol A to differentiate her from Sol B, her colleague just working next door to her. But in response, she gives a small frown.

“Oppa, please? You have to help me with this. This case is driving me nuts!” She says in frustration as she stirs her ice tea. “Look, he’s off the grid, like properly off. I can’t even track his number or his email accounts. When the police placed plainclothes on him, he was like a ninja and they lost him within the first hour.”

Seungjae’s frown deepens. He knows of people who are good on the internet, but for an ex-convict to be running this alone? Furthermore, a convict who had no criminal record of scamming, conning and IT based crimes? There was definitely more to this.

“Sol A, do you think that he’s working alone?” Seungjae asks, stopping Sol in her speech. She tilts her head, the way she does normally when she puts the puzzle pieces in order. From her bag, she takes out a notebook and scribbles down the facts, then pushes it to the centre of the table.

“Okay, so we know that Lee Manho was convicted of rape and sexual harassment long time ago. Now, he’s running scams, and has no known background of coding or conning people, yet somehow the money appears in his bank account and it disappears the next moment.” Sol states as she circles her notes with a pencil and Seungjae nods.

“I think… I think you’re right, oppa. He’s definitely not working alone. And he could just be the middleman bringing the cash from one place to another.” Sol breaths out, realising how big the case has gotten. She’s not just going after Lee Manho, but she’s going after an entire team.

“You said that you can’t track his whereabouts, people he communicates with and where the money is going to?” SeungJae asks. Sol nods.

“Looks like someone is covering up the transfers and his tracks.” Seungjae concludes. Seungjae furrows his eyebrows. Sol recognises his thinking face and tries to plea once more.

“Please, oppa? You helped me check out and verify Yeseul’s boyfriend, which saved her life! Please, oppa…” Sol pleads with him. Seungjae knew how much Sol was going to dedicate to this, and besides, he was legally going to hack. He was fighting for those who couldn’t fight. What difference would it make? It felt wrong to ignore such a desperate plea.

“Fine. But you have to let me use a laptop that isn’t mine. I can’t have my superiors know I’m hacking into a case that wasn’t submitted to me again. God, Yeseul’s ex-boyfriend case got me a bloody earful from the captain.” He finally agrees, getting up from his seat and grabbing his coat. Sol lets out a relieved sigh and picks her coat too.

“Thank you, thank you!”

“Save it for later, when I’m done hacking. Let’s head back to your office for now.” He says and walks to the door. At that moment, Sol’s phone rings, and she picks up, knowing who will call at this time of the day. If it’s lunch, it has to either be Yeseul or Joon Hwi.

“Are you joining us for lunch, sunbae?” Sol takes a moment to close her eyes in frustration. This man is going to drive her insane.

“Yeah. Are you all ordering?”

“That’s right. Extra pickles?”

“Always. Add one more jjampong and kkampungi, too.” The receiving end goes silent.

“Who’s joining?” Sol gives a knowing smile as she unlocks her car.

“An old friend of ours.”

-----

“Wah, it’s been a long time since Seungjae-hyung could eat with us!” BokGi says, as he passes out the chopsticks and Yebeom unpacks the meals. Seungjae only gives a small smile while helping out with the food.

Despite the cold weather, the odd group of friends found pleasure in eating outdoors as opposed to their office pantry. It was too noisy some days, too quiet on some, and knowing how chaotic the group can get during lunch, it only made sense to have their meals downstairs at some benches. Besides, they could use a break from being stuck in their offices all day and look at trees changing their colours to shades of red, oranges and brown.

“Thank your noona here, for convincing me to come.” He says as he nods his head over to Sol, who is busy unpacking her pickles and noodles. Joon Hwi gives a smile as he stares at the delight on her face when she sees those yellow pickles on a plastic saucer.

“Hyung, what are you here for?” Joon Hwi asks, as he unpacks his noodles.

“This lady here has enlisted my help once again for a case she is working on. But it has to be off the books. Thus, my presence here instead of my cubicle back at my headquarters.” Sol chokes and she quickly takes a sip of her tea.

“Oppa, why do you make me sound so law breaking…” Sol grumbles. Yeseul, sitting next to her only gives a small smile and squeezes her hand.

“Seungjae-oppa did help me bring Yeongchang to jail. So I would consider his work, whether under his boss orders or not, to be lawful.” Yeseul quips quietly. The table grows silent for a moment, knowing how this topic took a mental toll out of them, but Yeseul was hit the hardest.

When Yeseul first started dating Yeongchang, everyone didn’t mind it. Only when Sol witnessed how Yeseul would be frightened to pick up his call and spotting bruises on her arms did she get Seungjae to dig into his personal life. Lo and behold, not only was he abusive, he was seeing two other women and they were treated badly, if not, worse.

Yeseul’s heart broke, this being her first love and the man she envisioned marrying. But with her friends' support, she took it upon herself to press charges on him, for the women he tortured and for herself. Representing herself and the women that he had failed to protect and taken advantage of, it wasn’t easy for her, having been so blind in love and still harbouring feelings.

The group stood by and silently supported. They accompanied her trials, no matter how busy they were. Sol remembers Jiho running from one courtroom to another on one occasion when he had to immediately attend a court hearing for a client he was defending. Sol had Yeseul stay over at her apartment during the entire situation, while Yeseul searched for an apartment nearby after moving out of his house. Even Sol B, who was usually cold, bought her meals and stayed to eat when the girls spent late nights in silence and drinking.

Finally, the judge ruled that Yeongchang was to be charged in jail. For the sexual, mental and physical abuse of these women, including Yeseul. It has been months since then and time can only tell how much she has healed. The rest can only give their silent support and be there for her.

“I didn’t mean to make the mood bad. Come, let’s eat. Also, what is the case about, unnie?” Yeseul quickly breaks into a smile, an attempt to let everyone know she’s okay. Sol gives a brief description of her case to everyone while she slurps her noodles and pickles.

“This is going to be difficult. If you guys are right, you might be dealing with something bigger than just Lee Manho.” Sol B states and Sol gives a nodded reply.

“Please don’t tell Superior Kim or Superior Yang about this. I really need to break this case and Seungjae-oppa is my only way to.” Sol informs her group. They give half hearted murmurs, not wanting to be meddled into Sol’s affairs. Well, all but one.

“Yah, why didn’t you come find me? I have my own contacts in the police as well.” Joon Hwi asks, a slight frown on his face. From anyone else looking, it would have been easy to miss. But for Sol, she knew that he was upset, interpreting his complaints as “Why didn’t you come and tell me about this first?”

“Because, Mr. Second Round Judicial Exam Pass, you have been too busy! Do I really need to remind you to eat every damm moment? You drive me crazy some days!” Sol argues. They launch into a light hearted argument, as the rest of the lunch group watches with equal fervour as they eat their meals.

“Guys, stop arguing, my ears hurt.” Jiho said, his tone in slight annoyance as he dove straight into the kkampungi and tangsuyuk. Sol finally gave up fighting, earning a teasing smirk from Joon Hwi. They continued their noisy meal, chatting and catching up with Seungjae. Seungjae gives them some updates of his pregnant wife and some interesting cases.

After their meal, they separated their trash neatly. The sun now hides away in the clouds, leaving little warmth against the chilly breeze of autumn. Sol brushes her coat and rubs her hands and arms. If only she could afford a better one than this old coat she’s been using since her first year in university.

Joon Hwi notices her trying to warm up against the cold and takes his coat from the chair, layering it on her. He honestly didn’t feel cold, but he knows he has always been the stronger one to resist against the cold. For Sol, it must be freezing.

“Take mine.” He simply says, taking the packs of plastic from Sol. If Sol had a hint of blush, he pretended to not notice.

“Oh, thanks.” She said as she took wipes from her bag and wiped down the mess on the benches and tables. “But I don’t need it. We’re heading back to the office anyway.” She shrugs his coat off and drapes it over her arm, returning it to him. He pushes it to her, and leans in closer to her.

“Help me carry it, so I don’t have to, sunbae.” He teases with a smirk, sending Sol in a fit of frustrated squeaks, chasing him as best as she can in her heels. Sol knows Joon Hwi gets a thing out of his teasing, and sends him annoyed glares as she continues to clear the tables. Jiho manages to sigh and Sol B rolls her eyes as she dumps the trash in the bins.

The group grabs their bags as they head back into the office, where Sol checks Seungjae in as a visitor at the reception. The receptionist hands him a blue lanyard with a visitor pass as Sol leads him to the elevators. Jiho and Bokgi are off to meet clients, and Sol B is headed to court for a hearing. Yeseul stops at another floor to her office with Yebeom, who needs to pick up some reports from a colleague.

Joon Hwi follows Sol to her office with Seungjae, despite his office being upstairs. Sol grabs her personal laptop from her bag, which is separate from her desktop computer and passes it to Seungjae, who takes a seat opposite her and starts programming the computer to begin hacking.

“What, did you just let him use your personal laptop?” Joon Hwi asks in concern as he takes a seat on a spare chair.

“Let him do it. Don’t you have your reports to do?” Sol asks as she turns to her own reports before typing in her findings for the new Lee Manho case. Joon Hwi doesn’t reply, and Sol sends an annoyed glance. He’s not going to leave unless he knows all the information of this case.

“Okay, I got it.” Seungjae says after a series of clicks and turns the screen to show Sol what he has found. Sol leans into a chart of bank transfers.

"From what I can tell, it seems like the money enters his bank account and is transferred to an offshore account. I can't trace where the money goes from there anymore." Seungjae explains as he uses the cursor to show them. "I can't tell who owns the account either. If I could take a guess, it's probably the mastermind of this."

"Wait, look. Lee Manho is getting paid a constant amount every single time before a large sum comes in and leaves." Joon Hwi points. Sol grabs her printed papers as she matches the amounts that her clients have given here. They match exactly to the large sums, but have no relation to the constant amount that he gets every scam.

"He's getting paid to scam? Tch, God, I hate this crook." Sol says through gritted teeth. Joon Hwi sighs and observes the anger rising in Sol. He places a hand on top of her clenched fist for comfort and her fist stops clenching as she sighs in response.

"Sol A, I can't track his location with your laptop. It's not exactly ideal, since it can be tracked back." Seungjae says, eyes darting while continuously typing. Joon Hwi could sense the disappointment in Sol's face, but it can't be helped. It was too dangerous from her location and IP address.

"Oppa, thank you for helping. I owe you one." Sol says as Seungjae scrubs her laptop clean from hacking traces. Seungjae returns her laptop and stands up. "You should go back, oppa. You've been gone too long."

"I'll keep you updated." He says as Sol guides him out of the office. Once she shuts the door, she pulls the hairpin from her hair and crunches her hair in frustration. She has the information on where the money is going, but it's no use when she can't find out where he is. Joon Hwi takes a seat opposite her.

"Don't stress." He says softly, and Sol bites her lip in frustration.

"Don't stress? How can I not? The police aren't giving me any information on him, delaying his location tracking! I can't even find him! How am I supposed to get evidence to charge him, if he can't even appear to show up to court?" Sol angrily spills, her hands flailing. Joon Hwi sighs but grabs a hold of her wrist.

"Don't get swayed by your emotions." Joon Hwi firmly says, sparingly into Sol's anger-filled eyes. She pulls her wrist back, taking a deep breath before gathering her hair up again.

"Fine." She grumbles. "Get out of my office, Prosecutor Han. Don't you have work?" This earns a soft smile from Joon Hwi. As he heads to the door, he turns back before he leaves.

"Don't... Don't do anything stupid or impulsive, you hear me?"

Sol clicks her tongue and gives a half-hearted nod. She turns back to her report and updates her findings and tries to diffuse the thought of asking Seungjae to hack with her laptop to find Man Ho's location.

For Kang Sol A, such thoughts don't leave easily.

-----

"You sure?" Seungjae asks, seated in Sol's car. Sol takes a deep breath in and nods.

It was a few days after Seungjae visited the office. Sol called the police as much as she could, but they always left her on the line or just said "we're working on it." Thus, Sol told Seungjae to meet her at a park, before driving to a random alley and passing him her laptop.

"Yeah, I'll take my chances." She replied. Seungjae sighs and begins typing away.

"You know you're putting yourself at risk?" He asks, eyes never leaving the screen.

"I'll put myself at risk for the justice of my clients." She says firmly. A few minutes pass as Sol stares out of the car and watches the bright moon and the clouds floating by in misty swirls.

"Got it." Sol turns her attention to Seungjae. On the screen is a map and a blinking red dot of Manho’s location. Sol reads the map and puts her car back in drive before turning out of the alley.

"Woah, do you know where you are going?" Seungjae asks, grabbing onto the overhead handle for support and his hand securing the laptop.

"Seungjae-oppa, don't tell anyone about this, okay? Especially not Joon Hwi." Sol ignores his question as she speeds up the car, turning into a drop-off point of a train station.

"Sol A, you're-"

"Sorry, oppa. But I need to find him. I can't sit and wait for the police anymore. I promise you, I'll be safe." Sol says. Seungjae couldn't say no. He knows how stubborn Sol is, how when she decides on something, she will commit to it wholeheartedly.

"If he's armed, you could get yourself in danger." Seungjae exasperatedly sighs. It was too big a risk to see the junior he treats as a little sister put herself at risk.

"I'll be fine. Look, you're on my speed dial. You know that I can handle myself. There's a reason why I took years of self-defence classes." Sol tells him. Seungjae nods his head unwillingly.

"You better call me after you're done." He says as he opens the door and gets out of the car. "Please, please stay safe." Sol nods and gives a small smile.

"Thank you, oppa." Sol drives away immediately, leaving Seungjae to pinch his nose bridge in frustration and concern. Silently, as he boards the train, he prays for Sol's safety.

-----

Sol knows the area well. As she parks her car at a carpark, she checks to make sure Manho is still at the bar. The blinking dot stays stagnant at the bar, not moving ever since she dropped Seungjae off. Getting out, she tightens her coat around her and thanks herself for the long trousers she's wearing. At least she isn't wearing a skirt, if she needs to beat someone up.

Entering the bar, she naturally takes a slow walk around. But hidden by the corner of the bar tables sit a lone man, with a cap, dressed in black button up and holding a glass of golden whiskey. She knew that was her target.

Taking a seat next to him, she orders a glass of soda water from the bartender. Man Ho chuckles next to her as he sets his glass down. Turning his head, he faces Sol with sly eyes, lips curled at the corner.

"Prosecutor Kang, you're quick." She hears him say and a chill goes down her spine. She lets her eyes meet the cold stare of Manho.

"Oh, you think I don't know you? You're the one after me more than the police are for the past weeks." Man Ho sinisterly says, a sick grin on his face. Sol grits her teeth and takes a deep breath to soothe her anger.

"Why are you doing this? You think it's fun?Watching my clients suffer?" Sol says through her gritted teeth. He only scoffs.

"My, my. Don't want you getting agitated now, don't we? We just started." He says, sipping from his glass again.

"Answer my question." She says with force. Man Ho sips on his glass, swirling the golden brown liquid against the large square cubes of ice as he exhales.

As the words fall from his mouth, Sol grows as cold as the glass in her hand. Her hands slightly shake as she hitches her breath. When her shaky eyes turn to Manho’s, his eyes are sly with a mocking grin. No, he can’t know.

"You’re just as feisty as your sister, aren’t you?”

68 notes · View notes

chaoticdean · 4 years

Photo

(click on the banner for HQ, Tumblr somehow keeps fucking it up)

31 days and close to 39k words written later, here’s my Suptober20 master post! I can hardly believe that I managed to write everyday for a month, and I once again want to thank all of you for tagging along and being the nicest cheerleaders in the whole damn world. 💜

A special thank you to @winchester-reload for hosting this massive challenge and being the nicest gal around ✨

LINK TO THE SERIE ON AO3 | LINK TO MY TUMBLR TAGGED POSTS

(individual posts under the cut because this is a very long fucking post)

#1 — On the road again

The thrilling quest of gouda cheese — wc ~ 900 — Castiel is in charge of grocery shopping today, which could be a great thing if Dean could stop making him run back to the store multiple time. When his boyfriend decides they’re suddenly in urgent need of a special cheese, Castiel in turn decides he’s had enough.

AO3 | Tumblr post

#2 — Earth

A plastic and cardboard affair — wc ~ 1.2k — In which Castiel suddenly becomes hyperaware of the looming environmental catastrophe ahead and decides to start changing things in the bunker, and Dean... Well, Dean is sleepy, AND HE JUST WANTS TO CUDDLE.

AO3 | Tumblr post

#3 — Demonic

Demonic skills — wc ~ 1.4k — Before Cas, Dean could always count on his abilities in bed to get him out of conversations he didn’t want to have. Now, though, not so much. (also known as “post-coital pillow talk with Cas”).

AO3 | Tumblr post

#4 — Branded

Etched into my bones — wc ~ 500 — Against all the odds, Dean is the one who suggests it. He claims it’s just a mean to an end, but Cas knows better. After all, he’s the one who gets to witness the man behind the hard shell he shows to the world every single day, and he’s grown to love the soft side of Dean Winchester.

(Darkest Roads!verse)

AO3 | Tumblr post

#5 — Daydream

Dr. McHandsy and the curious case of the white lab coat — wc ~ 1.5k — They’re on a case and undercover, and that’s reason #1 why Dean shouldn’t be sitting here drooling over his partner. But really, who thought putting Castiel in a doctor outfit would be a brilliant idea?!

He’s gonna kill Sam.

AO3 | Tumblr post

#6 — Mask

A study in scotch and pampering — wc ~ 1.3k — If anyone had told Dean Winchester years from now that he’d be content letting his husband paint his face with foreign matter (not that kind of foreign matter, you kinky bastards) that smells like coconut and feels like whipped cream, he would’ve had the biggest laugh out of it. Nowadays, though, if that’s what it takes to get Cas to talk, he’ll do it in a heartbeat.

AO3 | Tumblr post

#7 — Domestic

The shirt in the dispute (and other laundry feuds) — wc ~ 2.1k — It all starts off with a sordid affair of mixed laundry, and somehow it’s World War III in the Men of Letter’s bunker (or the one where Castiel messes a batch of laundry up, and Dean’s Led Zeppelin shirt bites the dust)

AO3 | Tumblr post

#8 — Heartless

Ohio and the open secret — wc ~ 1.5k — Dean desperately tried to get Sam to pass on this case, hoping to finally get some alone time with his boyfriend for the first time in a while, but his giant moose of a brother decided to tag along anyway. Now they’re stuck in the same bedroom in Ohio, and Castiel is about to lose it, so Dean takes the matter into his own hands.

(it doesn’t go as planned)

AO3 | Tumblr post

#9 — Electric

Ocean waves — wc ~ 1.2k — It’s been 5 years now, and somehow they figured out their shit. A house on a the shore, a ring on their fingers, and despite everything Dean still wakes up to find Cas wrapped up in a panic attack on random nights, doubts and anxiety eating him alive. But they aren’t alone in the panic anymore.

AO3 | Tumblr post

#10 — Sweet Rides

Home is wherever I’m with you — wc ~ 600 — Until a few years ago, Dean didn’t have any home. He grew up in shitty motel rooms and inside the Impala, on the road and in-between schools. As he finally allow himself to fall into Castiel’s arms, he reflects on all the places he can call home, now.

AO3 | Tumblr post

#11 — Rock & Roll

Sharp Edges — wc ~ 1.6k — Castiel told him he loved him right before getting swallowed up by the Empty. Sam asked him to talk to someone, anyone really,, but words won’t come out, and how is he supposed to tell anyone how it feels to lose everything? So he writes. Letters on napkins, motel notepads, paperback books. He writes as he goes through every steps of grief, until finally there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

AO3 | Tumblr post

#12 — Rewind

Leading me, going home — wc ~ 900 — Dean and Castiel reflects on their past and what they would say to their past self if they had the opportunity to rewind. (also known as “Castiel uses too many Harry Potter quotes, which gets Dean to prevent him from ever binging the movies again”)

AO3 | Tumblr post

#13 — Ladies

The promise in the cocktails — wc ~ 800 — When a joke involving colorful cocktails designed to put his brother into misery turns into a promise for more steamy nights with Cas, Dean thinks he might have won the lottery (and God bless strawberry daiquiris).

AO3 | Tumblr post

#14 — Fun & Games

A fever and the whipped boyfriend — wc ~ 1k — Being in love with a being as old as the Earth is all fun and games until said ex-angel gets sick for the first time of his entire (overwhelmingly long) life and turns into an actual, honest to god, gigantic baby. Lucky for Cas, Dean turns into perfect boyfriend mode.

AO3 | Tumblr post

#15 — Third Eye

The blonde-haired witch and the little push — wc ~ 2.8k — It’s not the first time Dean’s ever had to listen to someone referring to Castiel as “his boyfriend”, but it sure as hell is the first time he has to sit through a diner listening to a witch referring to Cas as his husband without even batting an eyelash, like it’s the most normal thing in the world.

Which would be fine if it didn’t cause actual shivers to run down his spine.

(or the one where a friendly witch gives Dean the little push he needs)

AO3 | Tumblr post

#16 — Switch it up!

The spices in the suit — wc ~ 1.7k — Dean doesn’t know when he started taking advices from Sam when it comes to his love life, but after tonight he thinks he might be more mindful of Sam’s wiseness in the future. Especially if it gets him all the way to the backseat of the Impala with a former angel in his lap.

AO3 | Tumblr post

#17 — Autumn invading

Storms never come to stay — wc ~ 1.6k — Dean finds Cas in the wood behind their house, hours after they had a fight. They’ve been together for a long time now, yet fears still run deep.

(Darkest Roads!verse)

AO3 | Tumblr post

#18 — Dark & Stormy Night

The wayward gang and the questionable cocktail — wc ~ 1.9k — Castiel comes back to the bunker after a day on the road to find the wayward gang scattered over the map table for what appears to be a cocktail night. Sam wanted piña colada, but Dean Winchester bartender extraordinaire decided to go for something darker and stormier...

AO3 | Tumblr post

#19 — Pour one out

As days fade (and night grows) — wc ~ 1.9k — Castiel wakes up alone and cold, and decides that he’s had enough of Dean shutting him out. They’ve lost Jack, but it doesn’t mean they have to lose themselves too.

AO3 | Tumblr post

#20 — Home

The fire in my bones — wc ~ 1.1k — It’s not a secret that Dean Winchester isn’t particularly good with words, but when he fucks up and unintentionally hurts Cas, he knows he has to do better.

AO3 | Tumblr post

#21 — Fear

If I let you go, would you hold on? — wc ~ 1.6k — Castiel gets hurt on a hunt trying to protect Dean, and Dean is tired of having to wake up everyday not knowing if they’ll both be alive the next morning or if one of them is going to sacrifice himself to save the other. Finally, he makes a choice that will set he course of their future together.

AO3 | Tumblr post

#22 — “I cursed the gloom that set upon us, but I know that I love you so...”

Just a little rain — wc ~ 800 — Leave it to Led Zeppelin and Dean’s slow dancing skills to soothe the pain of letting your kid leave to tour the world.

AO3 | Tumblr post

#23 — Favorite

You feel like the sun on my face — wc ~ 700 — Dean awakes to Castiel sliding into bed after he just came back from a hunt, and somehow it’s kind of the best feeling in the world.

AO3 | Tumblr post

#24 — Family business

Wherever we are is where I wanna be — wc ~ 1.4k — It took them a few months, but once Dean and Castiel decide to move across the country and into a home of their own, everything falls into places.

AO3 | Tumblr post

#25 — Villain

The blue tie in the bathtub — wc ~ 1.2k — Dean has been a pain in the ass all day, so Castiel decides to drag him into the bathtub and tie his hand up the shower rail before teaching him a lesson.

AO3 | Tumblr post

#26 — Walk of shame

And I would walk 500 miles — wc ~ 1.3k — The one where they think they’re being subtle, but they’re actually being really loud (and Sam happens to have functioning eyes, too.)

AO3 | Tumblr post

#27 — Banquet

Drunk on love — wc ~ 800 — Dean’s analogies are usually spot on, but maybe he’s had a bit too much whisky to be clever tonight (or maybe the fact that Castiel’s mouth is currently glued to his throat is preventing him to think clearly, who knows?)

AO3 | Tumblr post

#28 — Hellscape

Adventures in Christmas shopping — wc ~ 500 — Castiel wants to go Christmas shopping, and Dean being a very whipped thoughtful boyfriend decides to tag along. It doesn’t go well.

AO3 | Tumblr post

#29 — Fragile

Anytime you reach for me — wc ~ 700 — A look into what sex used to mean to Dean before Cas, and how his world has been turned upside down ever since he got in bed with a former angel of the lord.

AO3 | Tumblr post

#30 — Dress-up

Entertainment in soapy water — wc ~ 800 — Castiel just went down the garage to see what Dean is up to, but when he catches a flash of red right above the waistband of Dean’s shorts, it seems like his boyfriend might have dressed up just for him to see.

AO3 | Tumblr post

#31 — Carry On

Scar tissue — wc ~ 1.6k — There are arguably a few things that Dean dislikes more than anything else in the world, but nothing compares to what it feels like to wake up in an empty bed in the middle of the night, and the insane bolt of fear laced with anxiety than runs through Dean’s chest when he realizes he’s got no idea where Castiel is.

AO3 | Tumblr post

#suptober20 #masterpost #jus writes #I've just spent the entire afternoon preparing this #so help me god if the links don't work I might have to kill someone @ tumblr #destiel ficlet #deancas ficlet #destiel #deancas #writer of destiel #dean/cas

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glitterytidalwavedragon · 3 years

Text

Expanding into my other Fandoms (I’m gonna have to take a stance) Read the whole thing please.

One of my oldest and most beloved anime is Inuyasha. As of late I have been binged watching the hell out of it as I am getting my BFF into different anime shows. We are really close to entering the Yashahime part of the series, and she asked if I planned to write fanfiction involving the one character which made me even watch the show as a 10-year-old.

Sesshomaru

The first episode I ever watched involved this aloof, entitled dog fighting his brother over the sword in their father’s grave. Specifically, it was part 3 of that whole episode series were Kagome pulled out the sword. I at the time had 3 dogs of German Sheppard/wolf hybrid, they were MASSIVE dogs, fell in love with the big white fluff that was Sesshomaru’s demon form. I use to sneak staying up and watch the show faithfully to see the goodest boy as it was only on at 11pm EST on adult swim. Which meant it was bad and I was breaking the rules, I felt like a rebel.

Now I hesitated answering that question. She has no idea of what is in Yashahime, she is being careful not to spoil it so I told her I didn’t know. Recently, to find out what the feel is for Sesshomaru content, I looked into the tag on tumblr…

OH MY GOD.

Sesshomaru’s tag is FLOODED with hate. Like every four post, there is hate, distain, and attacking happening. As someone who watches Yashahime, I quickly knew why.

Sessrin.

Even now I sigh. And I sigh HARD. I am not for, nor am I against the Sessrin train. Same for the Sesskagu train. I think both sides need to look at things on a logical prospective. I plan to do just that. I know I will get hate from the either side and maybe some support as well. But if I am going to do anything in this fandom (as I like doing ships and reader inserts) it will come up.

So, like my Kaiba post, and my Sebastian Heel post, I will use my research skills as well as my COLLEGE DEGREE WHICH HAS BOTH ART AND MEDIEVAL HISTORY labelled on it to explain why this progression in the story is normal to anti-Sessrin fans and why this isn’t a crime by story standards nor should we look at it as a crime.

AS WELL

Explain to Sessrin fans why it is so weird for non-shippers to see it play out and why so much hate formed.

As I let out another sigh, we shall begin. Let’s start at an historical prospective. (Links at the bottom).

PLEASE READ THE WHOLE THING! I’LL BE ABLE TO TELL!

I will start with the information I can access right away.

While finding charts on the life-span of common folk in 1590’s Feudal Japan is rather difficult, Ancient.edu states that the average lifespan was about 50. To put this in perspective, the average lifespan of Europeans at the time was somewhere between 40-45 with the latter being rare. Since most of us reading are not from Japanese descent, I will through Europe in this first.

If we look at the same time frame of 1590, we are looking at most of Western Europe had now entered the age of Renaissance. According to sources from Learning Resources in association with the National Gallery of Art, marriage was not what TV drama’s from HBO or Hulu depicted. By today standards they would be a crime, as the average age for marriage of an adult female was age 14…

The reasoning behind the young marriage age had multiple factors. First being, females were considered an adult once they were menstruating. Birthing also proved to be fatal, and since the lifespan was at best 40 and 45 if they were lucky, there was really no room to wait. Also Europe at the time had became hugely focused on making sure blood lines were legitimate, meaning to ensure the girl was a virgin, the moment she was able to reproduced she was married off. Those they married were not young teenagers either. Most marriages, a man would be in their thirties, and had probably multiple wives as women died more than men when not counting the battle field.

To make matters worse for the Renaissance Lady, these marriages would leave many young males unable to marry and if their husband died in battle, well, unfortunately they were not seen as desirable. This was due to the idea of a ‘free woman’. Should the girl not have a father, brother or uncle to return to as they too died, a widow had her freedom. But that freedom came at a cost. She would be assumed to have slept around, and in many writings, such as the Canterbury Tales, where Geoffrey Chaucer writes about a Window on a pilgrimage to the Holy Land survived her five husbands and the men in her family. In short, she was made to be a slut and to be looked down upon as no man controlled her.

The point of talking about Europe is because that is something most of us Non-Asian or Japanese people consume and like to paint in large romantic brush strokes of knights and magic. Honestly, reading G.R.R.Martin Song of Ice and Fire, he uses this model as we see the Queen of Dragons, Danny start off at age thirteen shortly after she had her first menstruation.

Now let’s look at Feudal Japan.

As stated before, the lifespan was around 50 years. In some populations, this was even shorter. Nagaoka, Hirata, Yokota and Matsu’ura’s on demographic data at the Yuigahama-minami area in Kamakura, Japan and found both male and female remains that suggested life expectancy to have ended around age 24-25. This was largely due to living conditions and public health. In areas like these, it would make the most sense to marry and repopulate quickly as the expectancy of life was half the national average at the time.

To my frustration, I could not find a clear marriage age for Japanese women at the time of the edo period. HOWEVER, where there is a will there is a way. I took a look at famous Lords or Daimyo’s of the time. The average age of marriage of their wives was between 12-14. Much younger than I expected, but it made sense considering this is a time where war ran the show and marriage was strictly about political gain. One of these Daimyo’s was Masamune Date, who was also 13, but then as he got older took concubines who became considerably younger than him as he became older. The goal was to have as many children as possible for hires and for political marriages to gain power.

Now lets look at Inuyasha the MANGA

Lets get the manga timeline proper here. The whole adventure took place in 11 months, a month shy of Kagome’s 16th birthday. Doing a few estimations, Rin would have travelled with Sesshomaru about 8-9 of those months. But before we get into the relationship, lets look at something the ANIME made a huge mistake with in the beginning and tried to fix as the story went on.

For some reason I could only fine gifs for the Early appearances of Sesshomaru so bear with me.

Early appearances in the manga

^ He was so fickle and a trickster then...

Now early apperances in the anime.

Later appearance in the manga

Laster appearance in the anime

Notice the issue here?

Sesshomaru was CONSIDERABLY younger looking in the start of the manga. In the anime, he started off looking like an fully adult male. But as the anime went on, they tried to make Sesshomaru look younger with subtle changes to his jaw line, eye size, and his height. Yeah, his height had changed. They made him shorter.

While in the manga, we see this young-teen looking demon, slowly mature over 11 months to look like he is in his later teens and by series end, closer to being in his late teens or twenty. Yes, art changes over time, but the anime went a reverse route. I can only guess they spoke to the author of Inuyasha about her ships, as they did Drama CDs, and realized the mistake that was made in making him more mature than he was.

You can’t tell me he doesn’t look closer to his manga self in the final act, because he does.

Since we are on the topic of the anime, lets be clear. The anime timeline and manga timeline are very different. The story in the anime (in the English) suggests that OVER a year has past since Kagome started her journey. They try to fix this in the final act, but it was still so muddled as previous seasons are to be taken as cannon. This could have been due to an translation error in the early production when the anime no longer had anymore manga material to reference. But whatever the case, for English viewers the time the group spent together felt much longer.

So now we come to the heart of the issue.

Because of the mistakes of the anime, a lot of anti-sessrin see the relationship as father daughter. I’ll be honest, watching the anime and solely the anime as a teenager and as an adult (as the manga was on hold for a very long time due to author’s health. I was in college when it finished.), I too thought it was just a father-daughter relationship and Jaken the nanny who got punched all the time. In fact, the English took hard liberties with Kagura, as the English dubs often do with characters, and made it very clear her feelings for the demon lord and Sesshomaru very much recognized them (though he never responded). Even in her death scene, it felt as if he was saying good bye to a friend more than love interest. But who really knows, as there are things that point otherwise. When another demon mock’s Kagura’s death, Sesshomaru gets super pissy.

The manga did also play with this fact when it came out in English, idk if the wording or message is different in the Japanese. Translation errors happen a lot even in todays releases, look at Kuroshitsuji. So of course most anti-sessrin’s did not see this coming in Yashahime when Rin was named mother. In fact it felt like a betrayal as we were sure Sesshomaru had no romantic feelings.

Then there was the Kohaku/Rin mashup that was hinted left and right. The English anime, with its overly dramatic and blunt emotions made it appear one way. That in the end the two kids would probably be married. Then the anime as a whole made Sesshomaru older than intended. I can see why and understand how this became a problem.

On the other side of that coin.

If you followed the dub, seen ‘Swords of an Honorable Ruler’ and read the manga… Sesshomaru was not fatherly to Rin at all. In fact, Jaken picked up all of that leg work. Rin worried for Kohaku, but clearly loved Lord Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru cared about Kagura but he almost CRIED when he lost Rin.

We have to remember that Sesshomaru and Rin’s relationship must have been very hard for the demon. While we never see his mental process expect for a few rare times, we have to remember he hated humans. In the movie, he blamed a human for the early death of his father, Sesshomaru killed without mercy. It made sense that he wouldn’t be fatherly to Rin as her just being there should have caused countless inner conflicts. Hell, he even says his father’s weakness was humans, and look who picked up that trait.

Sesshomaru was designed to, someday, walk in his father’s footsteps. So sess/rin, not a surprise. Also when you see it in a historical perspective, Rin having kids around age 15-16, makes sense. In fact you could argue he waited too long for the time period.

We also need to look more at the manga when concerned with Yashahime. 8-9 months is all Rin travelled with him and he was like hold up, and left her at the village because he KNEW she needed to come to her own conclusion. That no matter what she picked he would live with and protect her. Unconditional love on his end. She cannon wise spent YEARS living with humans and MONTHS with Sesshomaru. Again, by manga standards of cannon.

Now I can already hear the screaming about age and what not. Some sources say Sesshomaru is over 900, by the rule of thumb, if we look at anime and movie releases, we have Sesshomaru being over 500 with no define age and Inuyasha around 270 years old being more pinpointed due to the movie. Just by going by ANIME CANNON. Kagome and Inuyasha, you have a 15 year old with a 270 year old man. If you say being pinned to the tree doesn’t count, then you have 220.

Also, here is something very interesting. In the episode where Inuyasha meets the unmother, he tells her, thinking it was his mom, she died when he was very small and we have flash backs later in the series of him being small running from demons. Demons clearly age much slower than humans, even half-demons. Inuyasha can be 270 but mentally and physically be 15, the same logic works for Sesshomaru, who in the manga is not much older than Inuyasha.

In the manga, there wasn’t any grooming, in the anime, there was a ton of mess-ups but no grooming.

Would this fly in todays world? HELL NO! NO, its gross, she’s a kid. Stop.

I know any fanfic I write will lean heavily on the side of father/daughter because that is what I grew up seeing on the screen. I can’t think of Rin as an adult because years of seeing her as a cheerful little girl. It’s like seeing G.O.T Arya about to have sex for the first time in season 8… I remember when she was a kid on the show. It was way to weird and I had to look away until it ended. But that’s my 2021 mentality.

But Inuyasha is not taking place in 2021. Feudal Japan is a whole other era with its own beliefs, morals and way of life. Those who understand this have nothing wrong with them. They just understand history.

Also, just to bang some nails in…

Anyone remember Bleach? Remember the MOST accepted couple was Ichigo and Rukia…. Rukia who was hundreds of years old and Ichigo who was 15… or Ichigo’s mom who was a teenager and his dad also hundreds of years old.

Most of this also boils down to Sesshomaru being a dude. As in reverse roles in animes its accepted and they don’t have the same historical context. Inuyasha is based off of historical context of Feudal Japan.

We need to stop spreading hate. We can’t accept some forms of literature because its European fantasy but bash other fantasy based literature for doing the same thing.

Sure, its weird for those who were use to seeing the father/daughter dynamic. Yes, there are extreme sessrin fans who post really questionable illegal content when they decide to leave Rin as an 8-year-old…

But this wasn’t ever meant to be perverted. The story was meant to make sense on a logical and historical base.

I hope everyone takes the time to read this. I love Inuyasha, I love Sesshomaru. I am just sick of seeing so many people fighting over what should be the revival of a beloved series. While yes, there is still room for sess/rin not being a thing, until it is stated otherwise, why hate each other? This fandom will only lose people by doing this. Calling people names or accusing them of illegal endorsement can hurt someone these days over social media.

Tumblr allows you to block tags. You don’t have to read anything or watch anything you don’t like. We gain nothing from attacking each other but can lose so much by doing so. Fanart, really good fan fiction, friends, ideas, sharing fond memories. Both sides have the right to feel as they feel, but no right in hurting each other.

A fandom is meant to bring people together. Not start a war…

Thank you.

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/ajpa.20402

http://www.italianrenaissanceresources.com/units/unit-2/essays/husbands-and-wives/#:~:text=Marriage%20not%20only%20reflected%20order,to%20ensure%20the%20bride's%20virginity.

https://www.ancient.eu/Canterbury_Tales/

https://www.ancient.eu/article/1424/daily-life-in-medieval-japan/#:~:text=Just%20as%20Japanese%20people%20today,in%20Western%20Europe%2C%20for%20example.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Date_Masamune

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Megohime

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dinosaurtsukki · 4 years

Text

twenty shots of espresso | a barista!kageyama x gn!reader fanfic

pairing: barista!kageyama x gn!reader

word count: 3.8k words

contains: coffeeshop au kinda fluff, shy kageyama, y/n ordering weird drinks, university au, akaashi keiji as a store manager

summary: on kageyama’s first day as a barista, he encounters you, a very tired student, who ends up ordering twenty shots of espresso. he doesn’t know what to do except deliver

a/n: i wanted to write some fluff and i was inspired by that tumblr post about starbucks baristas encountering customers with really bizarre orders. also i love shy and confused kageyama UwU

“and that’s pretty much all you need to know,” akaashi, the current manager of the on-campus, student-run cafe ‘beanies,’ and kageyama’s new boss, said after wiping his hands on a paper towel.

“always keep an eye on the register. refill the coffee beans regularly. if you think that there’s enough ice, there’s probably not enough ice,” kageyama recited the most poignant pieces of information akaashi gave him.

“good, you’re all set,” akaashi gave a small smile of encouragement. “sorry to leave you alone on your first day but unfortunately, my groupmates need some kind of adult supervision for them to actually do something,” he rolled his eyes as he removed his apron and cap before hanging them neatly in the employees only room.

“it’s fine,” kageyama shrugged one shoulder. he was pretty confident in his ability to remember things and follow instructions and (hopefully) not panic, though, not as confident when it came to having to ‘greet the customers warmly’. ‘i hope that doesn’t matter too much. especially when it comes to getting tips,’ he thought as akaashi returned with his backpack.

“well, i’m off. if anyone asks for a manager just say you’re the manager,” he said, waving once before leaving the cafe.

luckily for kageyama, his first ever shift was during that two-hour downtime in the late morning when everyone was still either in class or actually going someplace to eat. the few customers who came in just ordered iced americanos or a slice of cake. ‘i could actually get used to this,’ kageyama thought as he washed the knife he used to slice cake.

but of course, that’s exactly when things tend to go awry.

“welcome to beanies. may i have your order?” kageyama asked, looking down at the cash register machine, partly because he still didn’t know how to interact with customers and partly because he just wanted to type up their order quickly.

“twenty shots of espresso.”

“alright. twenty sh-- what?” kageyama looked up in surprise as the order actually registered in his brain. he expected that the customer ordering what was probably satan’s regular starbucks order would look like a denizen of hell. or maybe, someone with a smirk on their face and probably a phone held up for some tiktok trend that kageyama didn’t know about but probably involved pranking baristas. instead, he was faced with what appeared to be a very tired, very haggard looking student. your hair was a mess and sticking up in all sorts of angles that kageyama didn’t even know hair could do, as if you had just rolled out of bed and jumped straight into a roller-coaster. in addition, he was ninety-percent sure that you were wearing a hoodie over your pajamas.

whatever it was, kageyama was very unprepared for this. nothing in the employee manual or akaashi’s short training session included having to deal with customers who ordered twenty shots of espresso. kageyama was just going to have to wing this.

“ma’am/sir, twenty shots of espresso would be extremely expensive.”

“i’ve been locked in my room for three days eating nothing but microwaved chicken nuggets,” you rasped. “i happen to have enough money for it. that should all fit in the regular-sized cup, right?”

“mathematically, yes,” kageyama slowly. “but i highly don’t recommend it. the taste would just be...”

“awful. i am aware,” you nodded. kageyama struggled with trying to remain calm or unshaken by this customer who was more than likely not human. although, the expression on your face suggested that you were unshaken.

“the... health concerns. and twenty shots of espresso are going to take ages to make,” he said, trying to make one final attempt at dissuading you.

“i’ve got time,” you smiled. “and if another customer comes in, feel free to make their drink first.”

“but… but… alright.”

kageyama had no other excuses to give. resigned, he picked up a regular cup and wrote twenty shots on the side before stating how much your drink would cost. you paid for it all in full and waited patiently by the side of the counter as kageyama prepared your drink. the hardest part about the drink was the terribly long waiting time while the cup was filling up with the super-concentrated coffee that was meant to be consumed one or two shots at a time. during those waiting times, kageyama tried to work out exactly how deadly twenty shots of espresso was.

‘the last time i drank two espresso shots i accidentally served a ball into the ceiling, yelled at a vending machine, yelled at a lamp post for being ‘too bright’ and crashed two hours later by sleeping on a bench. in what world would they need that much caffeine?’ his thoughts raced.

finally, he had a pretty full cup of twenty espresso shots. with careful hands, he handed the cup to you and you smiled gratefully when you accepted it.

“um, enjoy?” he said, phrasing it as more of a question.

“oh, thank god,” you sighed with relief as you accepted the cup from him, like a mother holding their newly-born child.

“wouldn’t you like some milk or sugar added to that?” kageyama nervously asked. just smelling the twenty espresso shots made his heart palpitate and his taste buds sweat. “maybe some steamed milk? it’s on the house,” he added, hoping that it would sway you.

you chuckled and went over to the add-ons table. kageyama prayed you would add something like a few packs of sugar at least. instead, you added three packets of cinnamon into your monstrosity of an espresso drink. he watched with undisguised horror on his face as you brought the cup to your mouth and took a long drink from it.

“ahhh, that hits multiple spots,” you sighed, licking your lips. “oh, almost forgot,” you scurried back to the counter with your cup. kageyama didn’t even know what to expect from you at this point but blinked in surprise when he saw you slip a few bills into the tip box. “thanks for the coffee,” you smiled, as if you hadn’t just downed your recommended daily caffeine intake in one go, and left the cafe.

a few hours later, akaashi returned to a very shaken kageyama. “why? did something happen?” he asked, surprised that the new employee he hired specifically for his unflappable nature looked, for the better word, very much ‘flapped’.

“someone... someone just ordered twenty shots of espresso,” he muttered.

akaashi felt himself gasp. and he never gasped. he knew it was a mistake to leave kageyama alone. “so... what did you do?”

“i... gave them twenty espresso shots,” he said. akaashi swallowed.

“did they at least leave a tip?”

...

kageyama spent ages thinking about you, mostly in the concerned sense. during all of his shifts, he’d find himself looking up at the sound of the door opening, only to be slightly disappointed when he saw it wasn’t you. sometimes, he’d even wonder if you had been hospitalized from drinking all of that espresso and worried about what specific degree of murder he eventually participated in. ‘i mean, the customers do have a right to order whatever they want but won’t i also be blamed for actually making that twenty-shot espresso?’ kageyama found himself wondering.

the second time you came in, he stood up so abruptly that you were a bit startled when you stepped into the shop. “w-welcome to beanies,” kageyama stammered. the other customers, and akaashi, who was thankfully working that day, looked at him in surprise. kageyama very rarely greeted customers who came in.

“hello yourself,” you smiled at him. kageyama blinked at you, searching for any sign that you had been hospitalized from caffeine overdose. unlike before, you definitely looked to be in a much better state. for once, you were actually wearing regular clothes instead of pajamas and you didn’t look like you rolled out of bed.

“is... something wrong?” you asked.

“oh, no. sorry,” kageyama cleared his throat. “what will your order for today be?”

“a regular iced americano please,” you answered.

“alright,” kageyama let out a little sigh of relief as he typed in your order. maybe you were capable of ordering normal drinks after all. “any add-ons?”

and that’s where he made his mistake.

“how about twenty pumps of hazelnut syrup and twenty pumps of that vanilla syrup,” you added.

“twenty... twenty pumps each of hazelnut and vanilla syrup,” kageyama repeated, looking at you wearily. “are you absolutely sure about that?”

“absolutely,” you said, nodding with conviction.

at this point, kageyama abandoned almost all attempts at being a caring but generally neutral café employee. “that’s going to be terribly sweet. toothachingly sweet. there are customers who’ve only ordered half-pumps of syrup because it’s too sweet.”

“then i guess my drink will be eighty-times sweeter than the regular drink,” you said with a glitter in your eye. you didn’t look like you needed all that sugar, unlike that time you first came in. you were clearly out for a good time and that good time meant downing a shit ton of syrup. kageyama gave up because there was absolutely no dissuading you.

“alright then,” he said, writing your order down a cup before passing it to akaashi who had just finished washing the pile of blenders and cups at the sink. he took one glance at the drink before looking up at kageyama with wide eyes.

“no.”

“yes,” you grinned from the other side of the counter. akaashi swallowed and looked at the order on the cup, then at you, then at kageyama, who gave the slightest nod of his head, before finally starting to make it.

kageyama didn’t quite want to look at akaashi, who was pumping the handle for the syrup as if he was giving someone CPR, and decided to watch you while you lingered by the glass display case of pastries and cake with your hands in your pockets while waiting for the drink. unfortunately for him, kageyama’s stare had always been intense enough for people to notice he was staring.

“what?”

“wh-- I,” he stammered, caught off-guard by you turning to look at him. kageyama felt his cheeks burn and prayed that akaashi was done with your drink but he was still pumping syrup and muttering under his breath. “i was just... wondering how you were still alive,” he said honestly.

“oh, after that espresso drink?” you cocked your head to the side. “that was like ten shots, right?”

“twenty!” kageyama exclaimed.

“is that so?” you laughed. “well, if you must know, i had pulled off two all-nighters in a row and had to do my exams so, naturally, i needed caffeine.”

“yeah, but, twenty?” kageyama emphasized. “didn’t you, like, collapse at some point.”

“i actually have no memory of those days,” you sighed wistfully. “according to some people, i was shaking the entire time while taking my exams and i passed out under a tree and that a campus guard woke me up. some of them said that i was talking to the pigeons but i don’t know how reliable that source is,” you laughed. kageyama found himself chuckling at the story.

“order up. one americano with... twenty pumps of vanilla and twenty pumps of hazelnut for y/n,” akaashi said, passing the cup to kageyama. he couldn’t help but glance at the abomination that was your coffee order. since the syrup always went first into the cup, it had settled in the bottom even after akaashi stirred the whole thing. from there, kageyama could clearly see that the ratio between americano to syrup was probably 3:4.

“h-here you go,” he swallowed, handing the cup to you with a straw. you took your drink from him but gave the straw back.

“are you sure you don’t want, i don’t know, maybe a little more coffee?” akaashi asked. kageyama had only known the cafe manager for a short period of time and knew instantly that akaashi wasn’t the type of person who was so easily shaken by customers.

“this is good. thanks!” you smiled before proceeding to open the lid and down at least half of the drink. kageyama felt his mouth hang open while akaashi gave a short gasp beside him.

“how... how is it?” kageyama asked hesitantly. he watched you smack your lips together.

“sweet.”

“i can imagine so,” akaashi said.

“thanks again,” you smiled, stopping by the cashier again to drop a tip before leaving the cafe. it was silent for a while before akaashi spoke up.

“you know, those forty pumps of syrup weren’t actually that hard to do. it’s all about the wrist movement really. so, i must say...” akaashi paused and put a hand over his mouth. “that was one of the funniest fucking things i’ve ever witnessed.”

...

soon enough, you turned into a regular customer at the cafe and every time kageyama thought you would run out of ideas for what outlandish drink to order, you exceeded his expectations again. it became more of like a game to you with kageyama egging you on instead of trying to hold you back. “so i’ll have five espresso shots with ice and five pumps of the caramel syrup.” “just that? you had eight shots last time.” “fine, eight then!”

even akaashi joined in on the fun and even looked forward to whenever you’d come in. while he worked on your drink, kageyama would talk to you while you lingered by the counter. he quickly learned that you were quite the chatty type and always had something new to talk about when you came in: the weird things your roommate did, your comparative analysis on the different types of instant ramen, and that one time you found a single airpod in the middle of the park. kageyama was more of the type to nod and listen, not that he minded, and he’d often find himself laughing at your stories.

it was actually akaashi, the ever-perceptive co-worker whose expert, Manager Eye didn’t miss the tiniest of details: from the amount of paper napkins per table to the earnest smile on kageyama’s face whenever you came in, who picked up on the tension between you two first. and as much as he loved pumping boatloads of syrup into your drink orders, he also kind of wanted kageyama to make his move already.

“ooh, you guys are hopping onto the bubble tea trend too,” you said, humming with amusement as you perused the new menu.

“believe me, that was not out of free will,” kageyama sighed, remembering how many orders for brown sugar bubble tea he received on that day alone, as well as the new task of having to cook the pearls every morning before they opened.

“hmmm, let’s see. what can i do with this,” you smiled to yourself and tucked your hair behind your ear. kageyama couldn’t help but feel drawn to the excitement on your face. “i know! how about your regular house milk tea with ten add-ons of pearls.”

“ten?” kageyama felt a smirk curl on his face. you narrowed your eyes at him but grinned nonetheless.

“i mean, twenty.”

“alright. regular house milk tea with twenty portions of extra pearls. is that all?”

“let’s make it fun and add two servings of that milk foam,” you said.

“good choice,” kageyama grinned as he wrote the order on the side of your cup. this time, instead of handing it to akaashi, he proceeded to make your drink himself. akaashi went on with his task of refilling the coffee grinder with new beans, once in a while noting how kageyama’s fingers would drum on the counter, bringing attention to his nervousness. on the other side of the counter, you were watching kageyama with an expectant expression on your face akaashi looked up at the ceiling and sighed softly. ‘there are just some things i have to do myself,’ he thought.

luckily, the opportunity came in the form of another customer.

“kageyama,” akaashi called to his co-worker. “i’ll finish that up for you,”

“oh, uh...” there was conflict evident on kageyama’s face and akaashi had to stop himself from smiling. kageyama wanted to make your drink but he also wanted to follow his store manager’s orders. “sure, i’ll take this one,” he finally relented, passing the cup that was alread half-filled with tapioca pearls to akaashi before attending to the customer.

while kageyama was occupied, akaashi added the tea into the cup before topping it off with milk foam. and, just before pressing the plastic seal, wrote down kageyama’s phone number on the side of the cup.

“caramel frappe with an extra pump of syrup,” kageyama muttered to himself.

“i’ll take that,” akaashi smiled, plucking the order receipt from his hands before he could protest. “go and give y/n their abomination drink.”

“sure!” kageyama nodded, a little bit enthusiastically. he took the cup from akaashi, giving it a little shake before handing the drink over to you. he didn’t notice his own number written on the side.

“here’s your drink that’s pretty much fifty-percent tapioca pearls,” kageyama handed it to you.

“hah, i had a mental image of how this would look like but actually seeing it takes the cake,” you laughed as you shook your cup, admiring the layers of milk foam, tea, and tapioca pearls.

“you know, this is probably the weirdest-looking drink you’ve ordered,” kageyama snorted as he watched you admire your drink.

“i know, it looks alien almost,” you chuckled. “well, time to try it out.” you took your straw and attempted to poke a hole in the plastic seal only for the plastic to stubbornly stay in place.

“oh, the plastic is a bit on the stronger and stubborn side. here, let me,” kageyama wrapped his hand around yours to take the straw before poking it into your drink with an expert flick of his wrist. it was only then that he realized that his hands had touched yours and that he didn’t quite ask for permission.

“i, um... sorry about that,” he stammered, backing away a bit.

“no, it’s perfectly alright!” you shook your head before taking a cautious sip of your fifty-percent tapioca pearl drink. as expected, you got a mouthful of tapioca pearls. kageyama snickered at the look on your face but kept watching with undivided attention as you tried not to laugh while chewing through all of the pearls for what felt like ages. meanwhile, akaashi watched the two of you from behind the counter, knowing full well that you and kageyama were a perfect match.

“how is it?” he asked, breaking the silence after you had swallowed all of the pearls. you can tell by the look of his mouth that he was trying very hard not to laugh.

“it has... a very... unique texture,” you said slowly, stifling your own laugh. you never thought that a trip to the local cafe to buy a fuck ton of espresso to get you through a few days of school stress would lead you to falling for the cute, dark-haired barista and to this moment now: ordering a drink with fifty-percent tapioca pearls and chewing a mouthful of them in front of your crush.

“maybe if you shake it you’ll get some of the actual milk tea drink this time,” kageyama suggested.

“that’s not a bad idea,” you nodded, looking down at your cup and giving it a few shakes, careful not to spill the contents. it was only then that you saw akaashi’s sneaky addition to your cup. right beside your name and ‘+20 extra pearls’, was a number. more specifically, a phone number. you felt your jaw drop and the blood rush to your face.

“what? something wrong?” kageyama asked. “too many pearls?”

“well, that’s what i ordered,” you laughed nervously. “not... an extra phone number.”

“a, ph-phone number?” kageyama stammered, feeling the hairs on the back of his neck stand up when you showed him your cup. “th-thats, my...” he felt his voice catch in his throat at the sight of the number that was undeniably his. meanwhile, the culprit, akaashi, smiled to himself as he served the next customer their caramel frappe. kageyama quickly caught on to what his manager did but knew, deep down, that he was unable to confront akaashi about it right now.

and besides, was that a hopeful look on your face? kageyama knew that he scored pretty low when it came to emotional intelligence, but even he could see that.

“yes, it is,” he said decisively. to him, it felt just like that moment when it was his turn to serve and he was deciding which part of the court he was going to send the ball to.

at that, you felt your eyes widen and your grip on your cup tightened. was the cute barista that you had consistently ordered weird drinks from, partly out of curiosity and partly because it just became Your Thing, kind of asking you out?

“i, wrote it down, because i want to get to know you a bit better,” kageyama said slowly. “hopefully, not just over weird drinks that you order here?”

you let out a chuckle at that last part and kageyama got the hint that he was doing quite well. akaashi secretly grinned to himself at a job well done. “well, you know me,” you shrugged. “i don’t exactly mind extras with my drink order.”

“i, what?” kageyama blinked, puzzled.

“they mean that they liked you giving their number,” akaashi called out to him. kageyama felt himself flush with embarrassment.

“yes, that,” you laughed. “um, i have a three-hour lecture and then another class to get to right now. i can text you right after?”

“sure! sure, sure!” kageyama said, a bit too enthusiastically but at this point, he was too happy to care.

“alright,” you nodded brightly. “i guess i’ll head out now. and... finish this,” you held up your cup. “text you later, kageyama.”

“yeah... later,” he grinned as he watched you leave. he was still grinning when akaashi appeared beside him with his arms crossed.

“i’m not going to apologize for writing your number on the cup,” akaashi said. kageyama rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

“i guess, i should thank you, then?” he swallowed, glancing at the store manager from the corner of his eye. akaashi smiled.

“you can thank me by making sure you text them right back,” he said.

“will do,” kageyama nodded.

he spent the rest of the day checking and re-checking his phone, especially during his breaks at volleyball practice. it was completely written on kageyama’s face that he was expecting something, but they knew that asking him would just incur his wrath.

finally, your class ended, and you grabbed your phone before staring at the screen, wondering what exactly you should text.

and then, kageyama heard the notification from his phone and opened your message quicker than he opened any other text he received.

from: unknown number

my jaw hurts from chewing all those pearls. i have made a Mistake

kageyama laughed out loud as he typed out his reply. you guys would get along just fine

taglist (still open to anyone who wants in): @montys-chaos @miyumtwins @strawberriimilkshake @pocubo @sugawara-sweetheart@akaashisbabydoll @laure-chan@therainroguefanfiction@atetiffdoesart@stephdaninja@oikaw-ugh @charliefredb @dramaqueenweeb1469@tremblinghearts @applepienation

#haikyuu!!#kageyama x reader #kageyama tobio #hq x reader #kageyama x gn!reader #barista!kageyama #coffeeshop au #university au #haikyuu!! fanfic #haikyuu!! one-shot #hi i made a boring ass coffeeshop au #because why not?

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lovewillthaw-j · 4 years

Video

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The centrality of All Is Found in Frozen 2

(I’ve gotten feedback that the video frame rate is low - that was not my doing, sorry. I think Tumblr scaled it down =(

All is Found appears 9 times in the movie, 5 times sung and 4 times as a musical theme. It is such an important song that is at the very core of Frozen 2, with multiple associations with Iduna, happy memories of times with Iduna, the scarf, the Northuldra, the death of Iduna 😢, Ahtohallan, Elsa’s destiny as 5th spirit and the death of Elsa 😢 .

This song is like a multi-purpose tool! I made this video and this post to appreciate this song. And I must give the utmost kudos to 1) Christophe Beck for incorporating it into his score with his masterful touch, affecting us subconsciously. 2) The Lopezes who wrote the song (duh) but also, solved the problem of how to make Show Yourself a great song by bringing in AIF in the bridge of Show Yourself. This was revealed to us in the ITU documentary - I can’t believe we ALMOST didn’t have SY in the film. SY carries the entire frozen franchise on its back!!! It is the other half of Let It Go and Elsa’s journey. 3) Evan Rachel Wood, whose voice is soooo perfectly matched to be Iduna. asdkjfhgl I can’t describe how I feel, it’s like I’m being mothered by her too. Here she is recording “Come my darling homeward bound” for SY

Description of my video

1. This is the song. (I only included 1 verse, due to Tumblr video constraints) Mmmhhhhphphphphh ERW’s voice!!! And all the mother-daughter moments. In my headcanon, which I expounded at length in this analysis (Ahtohallan, Iduna and the Voice), this was the first and last time that Ahtohallan was ever mentioned or the lullaby sung in the time period before F2. Anna’s accident happened on the same night and after that, Agnarr ordered “Conceal, don’t feel”.

2. Anna sings to Elsa. I believe this is the very first time Elsa has heard the lullaby since childhood. Darling Anna comforts Elsa with Mother’s lullaby. (and it’s the only sister-sister duet in the whole of F2) The scarf is introduced just before this. Also, we see the first indication of Mama Anna here.

3. Now it’s Anna’s turn to be soothed by Elsa with the scarf. The girls, the Northuldra and us learn that Iduna is Northuldran, a very significant revelation. This changes everything. And now we know AIF is a Northuldran lullaby, not Arendellian.

4. Elsa and Honeymaren sing together. Ahtohallan is mentioned. I believe this is the first time Elsa has heard the word “Ahtohallan” since Iduna mentioned it. As I mentioned in my other analysis, Elsa is starting to link Iduna, Ahtohallan, the Voice and the 5th spirit together.

5. Ship scene 1. (btw I split up the ship scene into 2 because I feel that AIF plays 2 different roles) This first part is creepy-horror-exciting because when they stepped into the ship they had no idea what they would find, and their adrenaline was rushing because they (and us) were totally not expecting to see the ship, and why is it here? And this map! Ahtohallan is real, it’s not some fairy tale location in a kid’s song. And Iduna was trying to find answers about Elsa all this time! BUT...(go to point 6)

How many of you remember the first time you watched this scene in the movie? I remember clearly. I was filled with horror thinking that they might find the parents corpses or something horrible!!!

6. Elsa, Anna and us have scarce had time to process this new information about the scroll and the map and Iduna’s intentions when Elsa decides to call forth the memories from the ship’s water and BOOM we are all slayed. The plot then abruptly shifts to Elsa’s heartbreaking sorrow+guilt+feeling she’s cursed all over again (I always say it’s amazing that Elsa didn’t freeze everything right there and then) and Anna’s selfless love and lovethawmode. (darling Anna never got to grieve over the parents cos she was too busy helping Elsa...and then she got pushed away by Elsa...sob...read my fic...)

7. Let’s shift our emotions to a happier place. Show Yourself. As I previously wrote, Thank God for the Lopezes who brought AIF into SY!!! Genius. (seriously, I can’t believe the entire writing team didn’t think of this?!) And duh, it’s fitting to hear AIF while we’re in Ahtohallan right? AIF is the song ABOUT Ahtohallan! Imagine Ahtohallan protesting “Hey Jenn! The audience is finally seeing me! I exist! Play my theme song!! Come on!!!” Lol. Ahtohallan’s memories are unlocked by Elsa stepping into her power. As the lyrics of the song say, all is found in Ahtohallan (literally). But not only Ahtohallan, IDUNA!! Iduna’s ghost sings to Elsa and Elsa melts (and so do we!!) Who doesn’t love that beautiful scene of Elsa crying when she sees her mum and remembers happy memories from 16 years ago!! As I mentioned in my analysis, at this moment, Ahtohallan, Iduna and the Voice have all converged. And Elsa is the fifth spirit. (she thought she was looking for the fifth spirit; instead she found Iduna and was given a fresh touch of mommy’s love after 16 years) mmmmphphhphph SY is SO GOOD.

8 and 9. The grim side of Ahtohallan and the warning in All Is Found. Elsa dies seeking the truth. Kudos to Beck, the notes of AIF when Elsa dies are so weighty and grave.

Like I said, AIF is like a multi-purpose tool!!

#frozen #frozen 2 #disney frozen #all is found #elsa #iduna #anna #christophe beck

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jjpmoans · 4 years

Text

t’aimer sans cesse

↦ song: Hesitate from Eyes On You

↦ lyrics: 'Yes, you, why are you making me this confused?/ I don't get you any more'

↦ word count : 9k+

↦ genre : roommates to lovers

↦ warnings : fluffs, angst if you squint really hard

↦ summary : Park Jinyoung. You. Jeong Jaehyun. As complicated as it seems, you’d be honest when you said, you didn’t expect to be involved in this whole love triangle. Have you been missing signals or have he been sending you absolutely invisible signals? Is your radar broken? How have you not know? How have you been so dense? How long have you been foolishly hurting him?

↦ a/n : Hey everyone! I’m back with a new fic! I’m soo sorry it’s been a drought here on my blog. But i’m back and looks like Mr Jeong is joining us this time~ Anyways, this fic is written for the GOT7 Alive Fest on twitter and if anyone is interested, go check it out on @/GOT7_Alive_2020. They have both artists and writers joining the fest! Most of them post on ao3 and I am probably the only one who post on tumblr. Nevermind that, I hope you love the fic! Thank you for reading!

Morning classes are by far, the most hated part of your schedule. You don’t like waking up early, which explains why you’re not a morning person. You don’t remember when was the last time you met the morning birds and the sunrise since you usually wake up after ten in the morning and the sun is already up. You missed the chirping and the first ray of the morning but you’d trade anything for sleep at the moment.

“Jinyoung.” you groan when you feel a finger poking your cheek and pinching it. You know it’s him, who else is patient to wake you up? Bambam and Yugyeom have long given up trying to wake you since you refused all their advances, even coaxing you with food. “I don’t want to wake up.”

You heard a few rustling and you exhaled in relief. Perhaps Jinyoung will let you off the hook and let you sleep this once. You don’t have that many morning classes, to be honest. You only have one, and that’s on every Tuesday. Usually you wake up and sign the attendance then go back to sleep since you had online learning for this semester, but since the situation has toned down and the university has reopened, today marks the first day of on-site class.

“Hey, sleepyhead.” you hear his voice and a few seconds later, you feel your face getting wet and his palm softly applying cold water all over your face. Another dip into the basin and he returns his palm to your face with another round of wiping the cold water all over your face which he carefully presses it on your eyelids. “Wake up. You have class at nine.”

You grumble, turning away from him to continue sleeping but at this moment, you’re almost wide awake after he technically washes your face for you. You can hear Jinyoung chuckling and you’re positive now that he has successfully woken you up. “Urgh. I hate how you wake me up easily.”

“Not my fault that I’m an expert.” he laughs upon seeing you getting out of his bed and into the bathroom. “Hurry up. I’m taking you to breakfast.”

“For what?” you appear again with your toothbrush inside your mouth.

“To eat, you dummy. Your class ends at eleven and you’d be starving by then.” he picks a book out of your shared bookshelf, flipping it to the page he left before. “Hurry up! I’m giving you ten minutes!”

You stare in disbelief at him and when he sees you’re unmoved, he throws you one of your small pillows to get you moving. “Tik tok, y/n! Move fast!”

“I can’t believe you shove me into the bathroom.” you frown when Jinyoung just laugh at your complaint. He indeed shoved you into the shower after you’ve been standing for too long while brushing your teeth. “We aren’t even late!”

“You’ll thank me later.” Jinyoung grins, walking into the busy cafe. People are getting their first coffee supply of the day and so do you. Jinyoung and you are both coffee people, it just made sense to start the day with a cup of iced Americano.

As usual, Jinyoung will queue up so you can find a seat for both of you while waiting. It’s easy to catch a spot in the cafe during the morning since most people pack to-go breakfast. So you carefully choose a table for two, a bit far from the counter and hidden from the excessive sun exposure but still be able to see people entering the cafe.

It’s just an unconscious habit of yours, to watch whoever that passes through the door. It’s just amusing to you how most people fall into the same time schedule, about fifty people probably have the same class to attend and twenty seven of them need coffee before class.

“Here.” a tray of drinks and food appears before you, you make space for Jinyoung to place the drinks out of the tray and put the tray away. It’s so obvious which one of the food is yours and which one is Jinyoung’s. He prefers to have croissants for breakfast while you prefer egg sandwiches since you’ll be fuller and can last until lunch time. “Saw anyone you know?”

You shake your head before taking a big bite of your sandwich, munching them happily. The man before you just laugh at your behaviour, fifteen minutes ago you were wrestling with him to get into the shower and now you’re just behaving like a child, eating her breakfast with joy.

He sees the corner of your lips smudged with the mayo and his heart skips a beat, wondering how can you be so adorable being so messy. He can’t stand someone munching loudly but here he is, watching the corner of your lips moving and the sauce is still there. So he extends his hand, wiping your lips and retracts to lick his thumb back, before going back to eat his own croissant.

You didn’t mind, it’s not actually out of the ordinary. Jinyoung smiles, knowing how comfortable you are with him. Sometimes he wishes you don’t, because right now he just wanted to let you know how badly he’s in love with you.

But of course he can’t. As best friends, he can’t. His feelings aren’t worth the awkward encounters or the cold treatment you’ll be giving him once you learn that he’s in love with you.

“Alright so for the assignment partners,” your professor announces, indicating the class is ending in ten minutes. During the quarantine, he has decided that all assignments will be graded individually since the quarantine was expected to run longer. However with the on-site classes coming to life again, he wanted to make the last assignment graded in partners, so that he can actually provide better materials for the lecturers audit session.

You heard your name being called and you swear your breath hitches when another name follows yours, loud and clear. “Jeong Jaehyun.”

“Oh my god.” your friend next to you gasps, utterly speechless at revelation of your partner. You as well, are shocked and completely blank out. “Oh my god. You got the golden boy.”

“Oh my god.” repeating the phrase over and over again, your friend taps you multiple times and you feel your throat dried. One of the reasons why she’s so excited is because you’ve developed a crush towards the golden boy from the start of the semester and she knows. She, who goes by the name Mina, is your only friend from the same course. However it was short lived since you only got three classes with him and the quarantine started. Either way, you’ve completely forgotten about your crush until he was brought up again,

You took Mathematics as an elective just because you thought it was fun and you wanted to try it. Jinyoung couldn’t make it, Psychology students are always packed and you, as the Language student, have too much time to spare.

“Mina. this is insane.” you are having a minor breakdown and Mina isn’t helping, squealing when she sees Jaehyun walking over towards your seat, nudging you not so subtly. “My lord, don’t nudge me like that-”

He stops in front of you and for a second you forget how to breathe, extremely mesmerized by his presence. Here’s why he’s the golden boy.

You knew from a classmate that he comes from the Engineering faculty, taking Mathematics as one of his complementary subjects in order to fulfill his credit hours requirement for this semester. It’s a given that he excels in mathematics as he’s an engineering student but his other achievements make him even more dreamy and absolutely golden.

Jaehyun is also very popular in sports, he’s one of the baseball club players, the one and only sport club that is making names for your university. It doesn’t need you to attend their matches to know how well he’s been playing. His fame makes up for it. They have been winning almost every match and well, he contributes about two third of the scores. Above all of that, he’s apparently a member of NCT frat, where every single member is magnificently handsome, carved and painted by god himself.

In short, he’s the standard boyfriend you’ll never get.

“Uhm.” okay he has a bit of a flaw — no, not a flaw. Despite how famous he is, he’s apparently an introvert. He gets shy quite easily, more reasons to like him. The tip of his ears will be red if he feels nervous or shy and you don’t know what is cuter than that. “Hey.”

You forgot how to talk just by looking at him. Never would you have thought you’d be able to talk to him, well given the situation and his social status, you have no doubt you’re out of his circle. It’s only when Mina secretly pinches your thigh that you manage to find your voice, clearing your throat to reply to him. “Hi. Sorry, I’ve been so rude. I’m y/n.”

He offers you a smile. Jeong Jaehyun offers you a smile. You can finally die in peace. “I know. I’ve heard a lot of things about you.”

Oh. What is this? How does he know about you? Scratch that, why would he know anything about you?

“Wha- what? Excuse me?”

He chuckles and Mina’s gasp is completely audible to your ears now, you have no idea if Jaehyun catches that. But you know he does, after all his ears won’t lie to him. “I know you. You’re Jinyoung’s girlfriend.”

Even nothing comes out from Mina, you know she’s laughing. Of course, your reputation is affiliated with Jinyoung. There isn’t any person on the campus who doesn’t know about you and Jinyoung. To say you’re Jinyoung’s best friend is absolutely underrated, so they upgraded your status to Jinyoung’s girlfriend. You’re so close to Jinyoung that it made a lot of his fangirls mad. Why? Because just like Jaehyun, Jinyoung is a member of a frat.

GOT frat specifically.

Things got complicated and you got his fangirls harassing you to the extent of harming you in your own house during your first semester. After much consideration, Jinyoung figured that it is safer for you to stay with him instead. No one will be able to harm you in a frat house, mainly because he is there but also, his members are very protective of you too.

Hence he got Jaebeom to go to the administration and arranged your residency exchange. You have no idea how Jaebeom managed to convince them since no girls are allowed to reside in an all boys frat. However he powered through and the news spread as fast as they could, making you officially Jinyoung’s girlfriend and off market.

“Lord, not this again.” you mutter quietly but goodness gracious of course he heard it. Jaehyun’s laughter resonates again and this time you decided to just fuck it. “Firstly no, I’m not Jinyoung’s girlfriend. I’m his best friend and I have no idea why people keep saying I’m his girlfriend.”

“Maybe because you act like a couple?” Jaehyun offers his thoughts. Probably it’s true, Jinyoung has a soft spot for you. Maybe because he feels sorry for what you’ve been through, however you don’t mind. You love when Jinyoung is being protective of you. It reminds you of how much he cared for you.

“Yeah. Nevermind that. Do you want to talk about the assignment?” you hate to ruin the moment but you figured he needed to go somewhere and you’re already holding him back. If you want to chit chat, you can do it when you meet for the assignment.

“Oh yes.” he quickly whips out his phone and scans the task given, quickly sliding his phone to your direction. “Okay so I’ve done question no 1 and just need you to look over them in case I did them wrong-”

He- what? He already did the assignment? Screw it, you’re in love with him already.

“So we just need to work on the second question.” he finishes his sentence and looks up to you, flashing his dimples away. Ah right, his deep dimples are exactly the reason why you’ve taken a liking in him. Whenever you have online classes, a strand of his luscious brown hair will naturally parted away from the others, his dimples showing up occasionally when he’s solving questions. Out of every single window on the screen, you’ve been intently watching his window, mesmerized by his good looking face. “I guess we can set the time and place for us to work on this?”

You unconsciously nod, before quickly snapping out of your thoughts. “Yeah, I’m actually fine anywhere. I’ll check my schedules and we can try to set any time for it?”

Jaehyun hums, hesitated before asking, “Will you be comfortable if we do it at my place?”

Another quiet squeal makes you roll your eyes, at this point Mina isn’t trying to be subtle anymore. Jaehyun has been laughing whenever she lets out any kind of noises, which embarrass you even more. “Wait- you mean NCT frat!?”

You can’t believe she just asked that.

“Wow, y/n. Spare me some of your luck, please.” she tugs on your arms to which you shrug her off easily.

“Shut up.” you tell her before catching Jaehyun’s attention again. “I’m okay with NCT frat. I’ll text you before I come over?”

“Yeah,” he replies distractedly when his phone shows an incoming voice call, seeming important since he freaks out, whipping his head to the door. “Sorry, the boys are having some meeting and I need to go now.”

He hands you his phone, his dial pad showing up. “Put your number in. I’ll text you.”

If someone ever tells you that Jeong Jaehyun will offer his phone to get your number, even for an assignment, you’d definitely assume that they’re insane and tell them to stop giving you false hope. But now you’re filling your phone number in Jeong Jaehyun’s phone and it feels more like a dream than a reality.

Only when he’s out of the lecture hall that you’re able to breathe, accompanied by Mina’s never ending teasing. Lord, why are you being extra kind today?

Unknown Hey it’s Jaehyun :)

You almost drop your phone before making unrealistic noises, your heart jumping in joy. You don’t wish to disturb Jinyoung who’s studying at his table but this calls for celebration.

“Oh my god!” you decided to let it loose and quickly dance in the middle of your room out of giddiness. Jeong Jaehyun has officially texted you and he’s waiting for you to reply. “Oh gosh oh gosh oh gosh!!”

Jinyoung stares at your dancing figure with an eyebrow raised, his pen in between his teeth. To say that your sudden dance abnormal is an understatement, he’s been watching you do even crazier and dumber things in the middle of the night during examination weeks but that’s out of stress. So he lets you cool down – not really since you’re still grinning while holding your phone. Definitely, something is wrong.

“Wait how do I reply-” you fumble with your keyboard, thinking of a proper sentence. It’s been three minutes since his text and it’s the perfect time to reply back. You have to act like you didn’t wait for him to reply.

Y/n Hi! Yeap, y/n here.

What do you say more? Did the meeting go well?

You contemplate writing another sentence when his reply comes in, startling you in the process.

Unknown Have you checked your schedule? What day are you free?

Y/n I did and I am free on monday and wednesday afternoon, then friday evening. Hbu?

Unknown Oh crap. I’m only free on wednesday evening

Golden boy curses too? Oohh, hot.

Y/n Uh… I don’t mind doing it on the weekend? If you don’t have practise or anything.

Unknown Unfortunately [Sticker] I have baseball practice in the morning. But

Y/n But what

Unknown Can we make it at night? We can do the assignment in the next two weeks. I have an upcoming submission and I’m fully booked this weekend. I’m sorry I promise you I’ll provide you snacks.

Y/n What am I? Five years old? [Sticker] I don’t mind. The due date is still far away.

Unknown Oh so you don’t want snacks?

Y/n Shut up. Give me McDonalds.

Unknown Deal. A princess will get what princess wants.

Your heart skips a beat. He calls you princess? From the first text? This sounds like a frat boy attitude. For a moment you laugh at yourself, of course he is. He’s technically a frat boy.

“Okay you’re creeping me out.” Jinyoung finally stands up from his study table and proceeds to sit on his bed. Your study table is next to his bed while his study table is at the foot of his bed. “You’ve been smiling creepily while texting. Who’re you texting with?”

You quickly reply to Jaehyun with a sticker and lock your phone, facing Jinyoung who’s still confused about what’s going on. You can’t handle this alone and you need to tell Jinyoung. If anything, Jinyoung is the first person that shall know.

“You know Jeong Jaehyun?”

He gives you an incredulous look, of course, who doesn’t know Jeong Jaehyun? One must be blind and deaf if they don’t know the golden boy. “Really? You’re asking me this now?”

You dismiss him immediately, moving to sit next to him on his bed. “He texted me.”

“He texted you?”

“Yes!” you almost screamed at him but hold back and throw yourself on his pillow, kicking the air. “We got partnered for an assignment and he texted me!”

Jinyoung is absolutely clueless because he stares at you again, confused. “So? Why are you so happy about it?”

“Oh god Jinyoung! You don’t understand!”

“Then tell me! And for god sake stop kicking already!”

You sit back up and watch Jinyoung carefully, before explaining, “Jinyoung. A handsome boy, from NCT frat texted me. And he’s not just any NCT member, he’s the golden boy. The standard boyfriend-you’ll-never-have. The Jeong Jaehyun.”

“And he texted me. And he calls me princess!” You watch Jinyoung’s face contorted with disgust and you push him away roughly. He would never understand. He’s not having a crush on Jaehyun.

“So what? I can call you princess too. What’s so special?” Jinyoung has now moved higher on the bed and his hands are crossed. This is why you need a girl best friend. When you have a boy best friend they are so dumb and they can’t understand this joy.

“Oh god. Because he’s so dreamy and I got a crush on him!” you lunge towards Jinyoung and shake him, forcing the information to sink inside his brain. “My crush just called me princess, can you believe it!!???”

“You have a crush on Jaehyun?”

“Urgh. You’re so slow.” you get up and reach for the door, yanking it open. “I’m going to Jackson. He’ll be more enthusiastic to listen to my story than you.”

You close the door and leave Jinyoung alone, stoned and unmoved on his bed.

You didn’t realise it but the previous sentence left Jinyoung speechless, sending him into a shock.

You like Jeong Jaehyun? Oh shit. Jinyoung is in a deep deep shit.

“Hi.” the door opens, revealing Johnny who looks like he’s been expecting you for a while.

“Oh! Y/n!” he screams, well not screaming but definitely a higher octave than usual conversation tone. “Come in! Jaehyun told us that you’re coming over.”

Like you have agreed, Jaehyun invites you to come over two weeks after You enter the house, a fresh smell greeting you softly. The layout of the frat is just like yours, except that it is bigger, well to accommodate 21 people in one house. There’s only a few minor differences from your house, like how the kitchen and the living room looks extremely bigger.

You spot someone at the kitchen and you nod timidly, showing your respect in someone’s house. Lord, you feel overwhelmed.

“Who’s at the door- oh!” a high pitched tone yell from the fridge and you see Lucas hugging a jar of milk, probably taking it out. “Jaehyun hyung! Your pretty partner is here!”

You blush at the nickname, quickly trail behind Johnny who offers to send you to Jaehyun’s room. You agree, you can’t possibly manage to find his room by yourself. Actually, you take your words back. This house has a different layout than GOT’s frat, definitely you won’t trust yourself around here. One mistake and you’d probably end up in a room with at least three naked men.

“I have no idea why you’d yell, Lucas.” Johnny comments, ascending the stairs. “Jaehyun can’t even hear you.”

“I know. I just want to call her pretty.”

“Oh god.” your face reddens when Lucas continues to tease you that by the time you reach Jaehyun’s room, you’re as bright as a tomato.

“Heyyy you’re here- wow what happened? Why are you so red?” as soon as he opens his door, Jaehyun bends over to see your reddening face, scanning for any suspicious injury. Johnny however, starts laughing and he’s lucky you just met him today or else you’d already jab him with your fist. “Come one, Johnny. Who did this to her?”

“Lucas that kid. He’s teasing her all the way up the stairs.”

“Oh.” Jaehyun laughs as well, beckoning you to enter his room. “Shut that one up for me.”

“Aite, golden boy.”

You manage to tone down your redness after fanning it while watching Jaehyun’s minimally decorated room, all in black and white, three beds lining up next to each other, the study table at one corner and their closet at the other end. It’s a big room and with three people living in it, it still has spaces to work on the floor.

“Sorry if you find it messy.” Jaehyun rubs the back of his head sheepishly when you seated yourself on the floor, in front of the folding table that he has prepared. “I forced Jungwoo and Jeno to clean the room since you’re coming over.”

“So if you find anything suspicious, just ignore them okay?” you chuckle at his choice of words, as if you’d probably find something. The whole room looks clean, or so how it looks. You doubt you can find anything.

“I’m serious. I always find questionable things and you don’t want to know what they are.”

“Oh.” now that is something you didn’t think of. You know how they always hold parties and a lot of people come over, but you definitely didn’t think of that. “Okay now I’m afraid to move.”

Jaehyun lets out a hearty laugh, seating himself next to you comfortably. “Don’t worry. Nothing can harm you here.”

“Knock knock!” instead of knocking, Haechan chooses to enunciate the sound and in a split second he opens the door, posing at the door frame. “The delivery man is here and I’m not rich to pay for it.”

Jaehyun sighs as he pulls out his wallet, throwing it to Haechan. “Swipe it.”

You turn to Jaehyun, halting in your calculation. “Did you really order McDonalds?”

“I promised you.” he says softly, looking back at his own paper. “What my princess wants is what my princess gets.”

You swear the air suddenly gets hotter and Jaehyun turns super flirty since his first text. You kept texting back and forth, the awkward texts have long forgotten, now it’s always him asking you about your day and sending memes he found on the internet.

“Are we flirting now?”

“Depends on how you define flirt.” he smiles and that damn dimples show up again, impossible making you even more giddy. “I’d say, I’m being me.”

“This is how you are?” you look at him up and down, giving him a disapproving look. “Do you flirt with every girl you meet?”

Jaehyun comes closer to you, looking at you straight in the eye. “I’ll have you know one thing.”

“I never bring any girl into the frat. Not even hookups.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t do hookups.”

“But I’m just an assignment partner.”

“Definitely not for me.”

You later learnt that Jaehyun has ordered every single meal on the menu because he doesn’t know what you like. You almost got tricked when you came downstairs and saw the food untouched when all the boys were practically circling the dining table but no one touched anything. It’s only after you picked your burger, fries and drink together with Jaehyun’s food that Haechan sprinted towards the table and started the food war with others.

“You just have to ask me, you know.” you tell him while he walks you home, smiling sheepishly while getting scolded. “You wasted a lot on the meals.”

“It’s not wasting.” he defends himself. “I let everyone eat the remaining. It’s not wasting.”

“Yeah, that’s one thing.”

The walk home is silent, a comforting silent. His house and yours is just a few houses apart but he still insists on sending you home. It feels so short because just in five minutes, you fall in step in front of your house. Tonight, you experience something new. You experience another set of happiness, surrounded by Jaehyun and his friends.

It’s different from being with Jinyoung and the boys, it just feels like it. With GOT frat, you feel like home while with NCT frat, you feel exhilarated.

“Hey.” you hear Jaehyun calls, making you turn to him. “I want to let you know that I enjoy talking to you.”

Your features soften, of course, you like talking to him too. “Same here, Jaehyun.”

He grins, walking backwards. “Talk to you later!”

“Good night pretty girl!” you shush him when he shouts a bit too loud. He laughs, running to his house while screaming the same sentence, absolutely madness. You love talking to him, perhaps a bit more than he does.

“Jinyoung.” he calls, trying to shake the said male into reality. However he gives no response, staring into space making Jaebeom sigh in frustration. “Stop making that face. It’s obvious enough that you’re jealous.”

“What face?” Jinyoung glares, putting his Americano cup down and exhales shakily. He knows what kind of face Jaebeom was referring to. His annoyed face. “I am not jealous.”

“Oh really? Geez, I would never know,” Jaebeom rolls his eyes sarcastically. If looks can slice, Jaehyun must have been slaughtered by the Jinyoung’s total concentration water breathing form and poof! He’d be a verified demon slayer.

“Shut up.” It’s been an hour and you are still there, sitting at the table by the window, talking to Jaehyun. He has been eyeing you since you entered the cafe and was about to call for you but realised that a certain male has followed you after, seating both of you further from people. He’s not mad, no. He’s a tad bit sad. He doesn’t like this unsettling feeling and it hurts even more when he sees Jaehyun’s concentrated eyes gazing on you.

He knows that gaze. That’s just how he looks at you.

Ever since you first told him that Jaehyun texted you, something has changed. You start spending less and less time with him and more time with Jaehyun. You start waking early and rush downstairs, just to go on a morning walk with Jaehyun. At night when it’s supposed to be your time with Jinyoung, you’d spend it talking to Jaehyun, if not texting all night.

You haven’t realised it but Jinyoung is extremely jealous.

He never had you that enthusiastic with him. You’re always you, nothing special you’d change just for Jinyoung. And the thought of it makes him sad, sad that he’s actually just a friend.

“I think you should tell her, you know.” Jaebeom starts. Ever since you revealed that you had a crush on Jaehyun, Jinyoung has been constantly broken. It’s like you pressed a switch inside his brain and he malfunctioned himself. It’s rare to see Jinyoung acting out of character but this is what love does to people. It made you go insane. “What’s the point of torturing yourself watching the woman you love talking to another handsome man with heart shooting out of her eyes?”

“So you agree he’s handsome?”

“Jinyoung.” Jaebeom shakes his head exaggeratedly. “It’s Jeong Jaehyun we’re talking about. We all know that NCT house has some magic shit going around because every single member from that frat is drop dead hot and handsome. Now don’t avoid this. Tell her before it’s too late.”

Jinyoung has officially gone blank. He wanted to tell her, he really does. Jinyoung can’t count those nights where he has drawn a perfect plan in his mind, watching you sleep while mouthing unsaid words to you. He really wanted to tell you that he loves you. He had been in love with you for so long, he has forgotten when exactly he harboured his feelings for you. All he knows, one day he woke up and he felt his heart threatened to burst at the sight of you.

However every single plan has its flaws and Jinyoung’s plan involves throwing your friendship into the mix. If only he’s not afraid to risk your friendship, he would have tried his damn luck. He would have confessed and he wouldn’t give any damn whether you’d be awkward or not. Things will be easier if he has no attachment. Yet, this attachment is the thinnest line he wouldn’t dare to cross.

“I can’t, Beom-ah.” he sounds helpless, the most helpless Jaebeom ever heard and they are childhood friends. He knew Jinyoung since they were eleven and nothing, nothing ever broke Jinyoung this bad. Jinyoung is never a quitter but this time, Jaebeom sees him quitting. “I can’t risk our friendship, Jaebeom. I can’t. I can handle her fawning over someone else but I can’t afford being apart from her.”

Jinyoung is never helpless but somehow, he’s helpless when it comes to you.

“So you’re going to let her date Jaehyun?” Jaebeom, though his heart wrenches seeing Jinyoung so broken, he’s not going to let Jinyoung give up. “Because I’m telling you, Jinyoung. Jaehyun isn’t playing. We know how someone looks when they’re in love. I’ve seen it on you and believe me or not, I saw it on Jaehyun.”

Jinyoung has never been unconfident. He’s always that one student who is constantly positive that it will turn out well in the end. He believes that even if it’s bad now, it will be better soon. Beat him but now, he sees nothing like that. He can’t bring himself to think that if he confesses to you it will turn out good. That even if something happens, even if you distance yourself from him, you will be okay in the end.

Because it won’t.

“Tell her before it’s too late please.” half pleading, Jaebeom just can’t see his friend being this lost. “Tell her even if it risks your relationship.”

“What if I lose her?” he can’t answer that, of course Jaebeom can’t. It’s not his place to make an escape plan, it certainly is not his place to come up with your answer. But there’s one thing he is sure of.

“Then she certainly doesn’t deserve you.”

“I need to talk to you.” Jinyoung starts, watching you focusing on your screen. Like always, you are grinning, probably laughing at some TikTok videos that Jaehyun sent you.

“One second, Jinyoung.” you quickly type a reply and lock the phone, setting it face down. Another thing that has changed ever since you started talking to Jaehyun. Before, you had nothing to hide but now? Jinyoung doesn’t know you anymore.

You’re now totally focused on him, your eyes staring straight into his eyes but it’s different. It doesn’t feel the same. It feels like you’re someone else. You’re not his girl anymore.

“Jinyoung?”

“Hm?” it’s bothering him how foreign his name comes out from you. It’s been a month and if he counts, you probably utter his name only twice a day. “Oh yes. The talk.”

You are sitting cross legged on your chair, waiting patiently for Jinyoung to start. You realised it too, that you’ve been spending less time with Jinyoung. You do feel sorry for him and you have an inkling that he wanted to talk to you about it. Jinyoung rarely needs to have a talk with you unless he feels bothered, and now you can see how bothered he is.

Taking a look at him, you suddenly feel your heart wrenches. How long have you stopped giving attention to Jinyoung? He has this frown on his face now, sometime you never see before. His hair is a bit longer and his hair colour is a lighter shade of brown.

Who dyed his hair for him? After all, it must have not been you, since you’re busy hanging out with Jaehyun. But usually, you dyed his hair for him, saying you’re the only one who knows how to dye hair properly. Now that you look back, this concern is probably bigger than you expected.

You’ve abandoned your best friend and you knew about it but you did nothing.

“Uhm.” Jinyoung clears his throat, snapping you out of your trance. “I don’t think it’s like- like a big concern.”

“And you know I don’t like complaining either.” he stops, gulping nervously as he continues, “I just feel like we’re too far away.”

“I came home and we’re roommates but I can’t feel you here.”

“You’re so near yet so far.”

You know it will hurt. You know Jinyoung’s choice of words are already the softest he would have chosen, yet it stings. It reminds you of how ungrateful you are, leaving him for someone you have a crush on. He is telling you how he is sad, sad that he gets nothing like before. Your attention is now unavailable for him. It hurts him and now he’s projecting them in words.

Now it hurts you.

“I’m sorry if you feel like I’m demanding. But I just don’t know you anymore. I don’t know how you are, or what you ate for lunch. We’re drifting apart and it hurts me.” he continues as you stay silent, feeling the guilt eating you alive. “I know you have someone new…..yet is it so easy to leave me behind?”

Jinyoung is officially breaking apart. He feels like he’s childish, pouring his heart out but this is about him. This is him demanding you to be fair. He can’t stop you from liking Jaehyun, he can’t force you to love him back. He just wanted to remind you that he’s there. He’s there and please do something.

“Jinyoung.” your voice cracks, slowly the tears fall on your cheek. “I’m so sorry.”

“I’m so sorry I made you feel this way. I was too blinded by the newfound happiness and I forgot you. I forgot you who have constantly made me happy.”

“I’m so sorry.” you cried harder, reaching Jinyoung and hugging him. “I’m so sorry I made you feel this way.”

You feel his body shakes and you know he’s holding back from crying. You hated yourself for making Jinyoung cry.

Jinyoung isn’t weak, no he isn’t. He’s been too strong that it breaks his limit. He wanted to let go. He wanted to let go for once and he’ll be fine. If nothing goes right after tonight, he’s done tolerating.

A few quiet sobs and some awful jokes later, both of you are lying on Jinyoung’s bed, holding each other close.

“Jinyoung.”

“Hm?”

“Can I sleep with you here tonight?” you ask Jinyoung, rubbing his arm. It’s been too long since you sleep in his bed and now you feel nostalgic. You’re overreacting but really, it feels too long.

“I thought you’re going to talk to Jaehyun?” he teases, earning himself a slap on his chest. “Ow! What was that for?”

You laugh, settling yourself comfortably in his embrace. “Say Jinyoung.”

“Hm, what?”

“Do you approve Jaehyun?”

He looks down to you, questioning eyes boring into yours. You know it’s too soon, you know perhaps it’s not the best time to bring it up. But you just want to know his answer.

“For what?”

“To be my boyfriend.”

Jinyoung wakes up feeling empty, his eyes stare blankly at the ceiling. You’re still sleeping in his arm yet he has this unsettling feeling inside him. Recalling your last question before you sleep, he inhales a deep breath.

Will you be happy? Will his approval make you happy?

Jaehyun is a nice guy, Jinyoung knows that. Looks aside, he has full potential to be the best boyfriend for you. Jaehyun is caring and also when he loves, he’ll love you to the fullest. It’s not a problem to approve Jaehyun, he won’t hesitate if that’s the only case.

However it’s not.

Will Jinyoung be happy with his decision? It feels like the burden has increased tremendously, from jealousy to pain in just one night. It seems like the one month is just a trial for Jinyoung, now he needs to be prepared to lose you for good.

With his fingers raking your locks, he watches you sleep soundly. This is probably the last time he watches you sleeping in his embrace. This is probably the last time he’ll see you wake up in his arms.

Lord, can you help me stop the time?

“Nope.”

“Jaebeom-”

“Nope. I won’t let you be as stupid as you are.”

Jinyoung lifts his eyebrows, offended by Jaebeom’s statement. He’s just offering a suggestion yet Jaebeom calls him dumb? “Hey! What do you mean as stupid as I am?”

“Jinyoung.” Jaebeom sighs exaggeratedly, holding Jinyoung’s shoulder in place. “When I told you tell her, I mean tell her your feelings your dumb ass. Not just telling her how you feel when she forgot about you!”

“I’m not a dumb ass.”

“Well you look like that to me now.” It’s another evening where you went over to Jaehyun place to finish the assignment and Jaebeom has no other way than to confront Jinyoung about how weird both of you have been.

Yes, both of you have been weird. Specifically, Jinyoung.

The morning you woke up in his embrace, you didn’t notice something was off. Probably because you forgot how it felt waking up with Jinyoung but definitely, Jinyoung was different. As if he had a switch in him, he started avoiding you, keeping your conversation minimal.

You thought it’s just you but one day Jackson asked you why you were both eating separately, one person at the other end of the table, then you realised that Jinyoung had avoided you. Yes, he made it subtle and you never noticed it until someone pointed it out.

Jinyoung still let you sleep with him and still woke you up like any other morning. He just doesn’t talk as much as he did before. And you brush it off, thinking it as another awkward change that you brought upon your friendship.

“You’re not a dumb ass?” Jaebeom asks. “Y/n has been at Jaehyun’s for hours and you’re still here, like a wife waiting for her cheater husband? Oh you’re just unable to think rationally.”

“Shut up. She’s not a cheater.”

Jaebeom had enough of these awkward encounters. It seems like none of you figured this thing out and he needs his lively frat back again. “Then I suggest you do something about y/n. It’s almost eleven and she’s not home yet.”

“Like what?” Jinyoung is now irritated. He doesn’t have any control over what you’re doing and even if he wants to, he can’t. “I’m not her boyfriend.”

“And Jaehyun is not her boyfriend either. So go get her.”

“What?”

“You heard me. As the house leader, I’m ordering you to get her ass from that NCT frat and bring her home.”

“She can come home by herself. Jaehyun will walk her home.”

“Park Jinyoung.” Jaebeom grits his teeth, pulling the said man towards the door and without hesitation, throws him out of the house. “Don’t let me put up ‘No Jaehyun is allowed’ in front of the door. Go fetch her home by 12. I mean it, Park.”

Then Jaebeom slams the door shut, locking it from inside. Though Jinyoung clearly has the key, he knows Jaebeom probably locked the door using the other lock instead. So he stood outside, leaning against the wall.

What is he going to do? Knock on NCT frat and ask for you? No shit he’s not going to look like a desperate man.

But indeed, Jaebeom is right. Jaehyun is not your boyfriend either and he has a valid reason to be worried and to go get you at his house which is only five minutes away. Yeap, valid.

“I must have gone crazy.” Jinyoung mutters as he exits the compound and starts walking on the sidewalk in a painfully slow pace. “I must’ve looked crazy too.”

Five minutes turns fifteen, courtesy of Jinyoung walking around the neighbourhood and standing like a stool against the lamp post, contemplating whether he’s going to knock on the door or not.

“Well.” he sighs, walking up the NCT house and stands nervously in front of their door. “Aite, fuck this.” he knocks, slow at first but gradually the third knock is loud, followed by fourth and fifth. He did it on purpose, he knows how boys can be. Yugyeom and Bambam can be so focused while watching Netflix that they can’t even hear any other noises.

Jinyoung fiddles with his hoodie sleeves, his heart beating nervously as he waits for someone to get the door.

“Who is- oh, Jinyoung!” Thank god, Taeyong shows up, not Lucas or Jaemin or else Jinyoung would have a hard time being less suspicious. “Why are you here?”

Now that’s another hard question? Does he simply say ‘well my roommate is here and it’s already 11.20 and why the fuck is she still here’? Or does he say ‘i’m jealous so i’m picking up my girl’? Nope. Nope.

“Uh. Is y/n here?” He hopes he doesn’t sound like a desperate man asking for his crush’s whereabouts because he feels like he’s one. “It’s- it’s 11.20 and uh Jaebeom is kinda mad? She’s not yet back.”

Taeyong takes like- 30 seconds to let the information sink in, before frantically shouting for Jaehyun. “Jaehyun! Tell y/n that Jinyoung is here to bring her home!”

An awkward silence follows him, well of course it’s awkward. All pairs of eyes are watching him from all directions, curious of why he’s here to bring her home? You have been patronising this house for like, two months now and suddenly he’s here to remind her of her curfew?

He hears you come down the stairs, shock paints your face as you see him at the door. Firstly, well since Jinyoung avoided you, you don’t know why he suddenly came to take you home. Secondly, since when do you need someone to take you home?

“Jinyoung.” you reach the door, Jaehyun trailing behind you equally as confused. “Why are you here?”

The amount of ‘why are you here’ irks him that by the time you ask him the same question, he feels like his blood is boiling. Why is it so hard to believe that he’s here to take you home? Don’t you realise what time is it already? Why are you still at Jaehyun’s? These voices inside his head are shouting at the same time and he just- can’t stop himself anymore.

“Why? I can’t come here now?” his question, as soft as he wanted to sound, didn’t come out well. It sounds plainly rude, like he’s picking a fight with you. “Do you know what time it is?”

“Not that. I’m just confused.”

“Jaebeom told me to come and get you.”

“But I can go home by myself.” you point at Jaehyun behind you, who stays silent between your conversation. “Jaehyun can walk me home.”

At this point, Jinyoung feels anger bubbling up inside him and if everyone squints really really hard, one can see that his jugular vein almost pops. All this ‘Jaehyun this and Jaehyun that’ is starting to get to him and honestly? He’s tired of listening to it.

“Can we just go home?” as much as he wants to scream at everyone, he doesn’t want to make a mess at someone’s frat. He knows how Jaebeom works hard to maintain a good relationship with other frats and how hard it is to clean after messes. “I don’t think we should be having this conversation here.”

You silently agree, bidding the boys goodbye and step out of the house. Jaehyun’s eyes follow you worriedly, as if he knows that you’d probably end up fighting with Jinyoung.

In your eyes, Jinyoung is irritated by the fact that you asked too many questions but in Jaehyun’s eyes, he recognises those emotions as anger and jealousy. He’s been asking you about your true relationship with Jinyoung, knowing that it’s impossible for one to be that close without any feeling involved. Tonight, he found out why.

Jinyoung is in love with you.

“Taeyong.” he whispers while watching both of you getting further away from his house. “Fuck, Taeyong.”

“What?”

“I messed up.”

“What??” how come Jaehyun didn’t realise it from the start? Of course, when he first got close to you, he thought that you and Jinyoung are just best friends and given he never really gets to talk to Jinyoung, well he just didn’t think of that.

“Taeyong.” his frantic eyes find Taeyong, who is as clueless as ever. “Jinyoung loves y/n.”

The leader’s vision switches to the couple on the street, looking at them with wide eyes. “Oh fuck.”

“I don’t understand him!” you throw your hands, ruffling your hair. It’s been four days and Jinyoung avoided you like a plague, refusing to talk to you even if you cornered him every time you got him. “He’s like, really confusing.”

Jaehyun bites the apple, listening to your story intently. You have told him through texts but here you are again, ranting about how Jinyoung is the most useless communicator and it’s impossible to take the words out of him if he decided to give you cold treatment.

“So you said he’s been weird after you asked him if he approves me to be your boyfriend?” he asks again, making sure he had his point right. Just like four days ago, Jaehyun has concluded that Jinyoung indeed, has been in love with you for so long but you’re just dense to realise it. It’s been proven true, you have the audacity to ask Jinyoung about it and not feel guilty at all.

“Yeah.” you sit on the foot of Jaehyun’s bed, settling yourself comfortably. You hang out more at Jaehyun since Jinyoung looks like he’s about to become mute whenever he sees you in the house. You figured you could give him some space. “I’m so confused right now.”

Jaehyun nudges you with his foot, making you look right up to him. Jaehyun has been too comfortable with you, becoming close just after two months. He’s at that stage where he just calls you with his feet now.

“You wanna know what I think?”

“What?”

“I think that Jinyoung is in love with you.”

“What the-” Shock is not enough to portray your feelings right now. It’s a mixture of shock, disbelief and suspicions. You don’t know if Jaehyun is playing around because right at this moment, his face shows no hint of joking. “Jaehyun! It’s not funny!”

Jaehyun rolls his eyes, annoyed with your ignorance. You’re the most clueless person he ever knows, and he knows Mark Lee! “Girl, listen to me.”

“What did Jinyoung say when you said I texted you?”

“He said, ‘so?’”

“And what did he say when you said you like me?”

“Is this another session to feed your ego?” you don’t trust Jaehyun, he has a lot up in his sleeves and you just knew him for two months. “I fed your ego too much, don’t you think so?”

“Shut up and answer me. What did he say?”

You roll your eyes. “He said nothing. Why are we doing this?”

“What did he reply when you ask about me being your boyfriend?”

“He didn’t reply. God, I don’t know where you are going with this conversation.”

Jaehyun takes another bite of his apple, munching while talking at the same time. “You see, he didn’t reply when you told him you like me. That’s fine, maybe he didn’t care. But when you ask him about me being your boyfriend, why didn’t he answer right away?”

“Well-”

“Because he doesn’t want to! Come on, Jinyoung can’t possibly tell you no right? You’d be too nosy and asked why.”

“Hey!”

“So what I think is, he likes you.” Jaehyun concludes, snapping his fingers in triumph. “Now the real question is, do you like him back?”

You shut up, eyes running away from Jaehyun’s. You don’t know, well you have no idea. You never thought about liking Jinyoung because you don’t want to risk your friendship. It might have crossed your mind a few times but you ignored the curiosity, you figured it’s the best to stay being friends.

Not that you don’t want to invest your feelings in Jinyoung, you’re just too afraid that it will backfire you. You don’t like rejection and you certainly don’t want to become awkward afterward.

“I don’t know.” you answer truthfully because really, you don’t know.

“Then find it out.”

You close the door to your room, putting down your bag on the floor and sit down on your bed. Jinyoung is at his study table, unmoved.

“How long are you going to give me cold shoulders, Jinyoung?” you ask, your feet kicking the air. You know he’s listening, even if he has his earphones in. That’s just Jinyoung style, to wear earphones so that no one bothers him, especially Jackson. Whenever Jackson comes over, he’d retreat when he sees Jinyoung stuffing them in his ears. “I know you can hear me, Jinyoung.”

“Let’s not fight anymore.” you look down, suddenly you feel sad. You feel like you’re losing Jinyoung. Is this what Jinyoung feels before? So near yet so far?

“It’s been hard without you, Jinyoung.”

“The mornings are extremely cold without your laugh and the lunch is plain without you cracking up lame jokes. Dinner is boring because you avoided me and night…the nights are even colder without your hugs.”

“I know you’d say, ‘so what? You have Jaehyun so go and ask him to eat with you, crack up lame jokes and give you hugs.’ but I don’t want Jaehyun. I want you.”

Jinyoung has stopped writing, listening to you intently. You noticed this, which is why you continue, “Jaehyun told me that he thinks you like me.”

You didn’t realise it but Jinyoung stiffens at the mention of his crush on you, catching him off guard. He knows that someone will eventually tell you about this but he definitely didn’t think of Jaehyun of all people.

“I don’t know if it’s true. Jaehyun isn’t exactly the best fortune teller so I definitely can’t gamble with his words.”

“I just want you to know that you’re extremely important in my life. I never thought of putting you second just because I found someone new. In fact, I decided that I’ll stay as friends with Jaehyun, I don’t find him that attractive anymore.”

You stand up and walk over to his side, sitting on his bed just beside him, forcing him to face you. “So if that’s the case, can you please stop being jealous now? I don’t have anything to do with Jaehyun. We are not dating and can I please have my Jinyoung back?”

Jinyoung is frowning, his eyes scan you from the top to the bottom. “You don’t find him attractive anymore? Really?”

“Well-” you grin, crinkling your nose up playfully. “He’s still handsome. I can’t deny that.”

You feel more at ease, now that you’ve told Jinyoung what you’ve been wanting to tell him. It feels lighter, your brain and your heart. You hated the days where Jinyoung ignored you and you’re left imagining what you would do without him in your life. The thought alone scares you, the fact that you’ve been so comfortable with Jinyoung beside you and you never thought he’ll leave you for someone else someday.

“So you still like him.” Jinyoung confirms and turns around to his note again, picking up his pen.

You scream, pulling him away from his work and tugs him nearer, trying to have all his attention on you. Jinyoung struggles to escape from your grips but fails miserably, laughing along the way. You join him, laughing together as you bring him nearer.

“Let me go, oh god. Since when you’re so strong?” he wrestles his way out of your grip again, hoisting you up and throws you on the bed easily. “Did you practise lifting Jaehyun’s dumbbells?”

“Yeah, I went there to exercise.” you reply deadpanned and laugh when Jinyoung tickles you as a revenge.

“Hey.” you call out, trying to get his attention again. Jinyoung’s arms have you caged, he’s on top of you while you lie comfortably on his bed. “Is it true?”

“What is?” Jinyoung’s eyes rake you face up and down, like how his thoughts are running wild inside his brain. He doesn’t know what to do, does he confess now? Does he confirm that it’s true? Does it mean you’ll be his? Can he do that? Can he kiss you?

“Is it true that you like me?” just as Jinyoung, you’re nervous. You’re conflicted. What if he doesn’t actually like you? What is Jaehyun really bad at guessing? You’re not surprised, nothing surprises you about Jaehyun anymore.

“What if it’s true?”

“I’d be so happy.”

“Why?”

“Because I’ve been thinking for a while and I don’t think i can ever end up with someone else other than you.”

“Oh yeah?” Jinyoung’s heart stops at your confession, then beats harder as he feels his adrenaline pumping his blood faster. “Can I kiss you now?”

You shake your head, watching Jinyoung’s eyes grow and a cute frown appears on his face. You wanted to laugh but you held back, looking straight into his eyes.

“Why not?”

“You haven’t said you like me.”

“Oh my god.” he curses, turning away from you when he feels his face grows hotter. “Fuck- fine. I like you. Are you satisfied?”

You laugh, nodding furiously. Jinyoung doesn’t waste any more seconds, diving right then to press his plump lips to yours, taking the perfect shape of your lips in his.

Finally. His mind says, Fucking finally.

“God. finally.” he mutters to himself, somewhat trying to convince himself that indeed, he’s kissing you. “Oh god.”

“Do you know how long I have been dying to kiss you?” he reaches down to press another kiss on your temple, another on your cheeks, nose and your chin, then pressing the last one on your lips once again.

You chuckle under him, pressing your palms on his chest to hold him. “How long?”

“Too long, I’ve forgotten already.” his reply earns another laugh from you.

Jinyoung moves to lie beside you, watching you play with the string of his hoodie. It’s funny how time works. About fifteen minutes ago you’re sitting on your bed, trying to fix things up and now you’re lying beside him after he kissed you breathless.

“I thought you’re dating Jaehyun.” he did. He really thought that after what happened, you’d hate him. “I hated myself for screaming at you.”

A strand of his hair falls on his forehead and you reach to swipe it away, pushing his locks behind. “Yeah, you’re quite rude.”

“Very rude.”

“I thought our friendship is ending.” you confess, eyes on his chest instead of his face. “I thought it’s the end of us. That you got fed up with me.”

“Then it turns out that you’re just a jealous boy.”

Jinyoung pushes your chin up, making you face him. “Just a jealous boy? You didn’t know how jealous I am when everything is about Jaehyun! Have you ever heard I talk about other girls? No right? See who’s rude now?”

Another laugh escapes you and you caress his face, calming him down. “I didn’t know, okay. I thought you were fine with it.”

“Yeah right.”

“But we’re here now, right? You don’t have to be jealous anymore.”

“Really?” Jinyoung’s finger finds your lock, playing with the strand. “Do you like me too?”

You really want to make him suffer a bit. Just a bit since he’s being a pain in the ass for ignoring you for one week straight.

“Hmm, I need to think about that again.” you grin, sending Jinyoung into a series of screams.

“What the- out!” he pushes you off his bed with you hanging onto him while your laugh fills the room. “Get out of my bed!”

“Oh my god. I can’t believe you! Did you just play me?”

“Is my feeling that easy?”

“Get out of my bed!”

“Jinyoung!”

“Out!”

You don’t know about your feelings, just yet. But there’s one thing for sure. You love Jinyoung’s kisses. You can deal with that. But his petty ass? That calls for a serious mental discussion.

[ Writings ]

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nerdywriter36 · 3 years

Text

Sleep So Long Awaited

taken from a post by @behindthemirrorofmusic on tumblr: 'apparently in one of the millions of Love Never Dies drafts, it was Erik who died. The final scene was very different with Erik pushing Raoul out of the shot's way and subsequently getting hit himself. As Erik lays dying in Christine's arms, Raoul assured Erik he will be a better father to Gustave and raise him in his honour and Christine tells him she loved him. Then Erik sings his last words to her: "Christine, don't weep, for I can finally sleep...I have heard you sing...once more..."

@phannah--montana asked me to write this, so blame her for the pain that follows. i cried multiple times writing this, so...my apologies.

AO3

FFN

Erik's heart was pounding. Over the course of his life, he had been in countless terrifying situations that had made his heart race and adrenaline course through his veins, but none compared to the way he felt as he rushed through a crowded amusement park, knowing that his only child was missing.

The roar of rollercoasters and giddy squeals of children did nothing to calm his anxiousness; every young boy he saw made his heart skip a beat, but none of them were his Gustave.

Despite all of that, though, what pained him the most was seeing how distressed Christine was. The panic on her face and the tears in her eyes made his heart ache and his nerves fire off more than they already had been.

"Erik, what if we don't find him?" she asked as she turned to him, taking a shaky breath before she looked away to scan their surroundings again.

"Don't say that, we are going to find him," he immediately replied. He tried to be gentle but kept his tone firm to reassure her. He refused to let her believe that they'd lose their son for good, and he didn't want to believe it either.

"But what if we don't? Or if we do, what if it takes hours? He could be anywhere out here in the dark, surrounded by strangers. What if someone has unsavoury intentions? They could just...just take him! Oh, and the water; Erik, he can't swim, what if he falls in?" Christine said, her rapid-fire questions finally ceasing as her tears overflowed.

With a quiet sigh, Erik pulled her into his arms and held her head to his chest. "Don't think of such things, my darling. We will find him and he will be alright and we will take him somewhere safe," he said, gently rubbing her back in an attempt to soothe her. "We must keep searching, though. Go with Madame Giry and search over there, by the concession stands. I will stay here and do another close look before we move on."

Christine nodded, taking his hand and squeezing it before she hurried off with Giry, leaving Erik to hurry the other way to continue the search for his son. As much as he had been trying to reassure his angel that Gustave would be found, he was beginning to realize that the exact same fears were running through his own mind. His son simply having gone missing was enough to terrify him, but what Christine had said about him being alone in the dark, taken away, or falling into the rough bay surrounding the island made his stomach twist in a way he had never felt before. He didn't even want to consider his one and only child being scared, possibly hurt, and god, if something worse happened, then-

"Mister Y!" someone called.

Erik stopped in his tracks at the sound of his pseudonym, knowing that almost no one could pair that name with him. As he tried to consider who it could be without looking, he heard the same voice use his birth name and finally turned around, only to frown right away.

"R-Raoul?" he stuttered out, too surprised by the man's appearance to use his formal title as he usually did. "What are you...I thought you left?"

"I did, but I couldn't get to the docks. Christine deserved more than a letter, so I came back to talk to her about everything. Explain my decision," Raoul replied, only to frown slightly when he noticed how frantic the man in front of him was. "Is something wrong?"

"No, no, n-nothing is wrong," Erik said immediately. "Christine is, um...she-she's not at the hotel."

"That's fine, I can wait, but something is clearly wrong," the Vicomte said with a sigh. "Not that I'm particularly concerned about you - I'll sleep fine tonight, - but it's inhibiting this discussion, so you may as well just tell me."

"Gustave is missing."

Immediately, Raoul's frown deepened. "What?"

"Gustave is missing, my-my son is missing," Erik repeated, running a shaky hand through his hair as those simple words made the situation all too real for him.

"Wh- how? When did this happen?" Raoul asked, pushing aside his past with the ex-Phantom to try and get to the bottom of the matter at hand, and while the truth of Gustave's parentage stung, he could see Erik's distress plain and simple; he was a villain no more, but merely a frightened father instead. "I saw him at the theatre before I left, he was meant to stay there."

"Yes, I know that much, but when Christine and I returned to her dressing room, he wasn't there. At first, I thought you had taken him, but it was confirmed that you left alone. Madame Giry isn't to blame either, so now we're trying to track Meg down."

Raoul thought to himself for a moment, only for the blood to drain from his face as a realization dawned on him. "She goes swimming every morning, near the bar where we spoke."

"Suicide Hall, oh my god," Erik breathed, exchanging a panicked glance with the Vicomte before he bolted towards Christine, who stood not far away, with Raoul right behind him.

"Raoul?" Christine said with a frown, turning to Erik for answers. "What is he-"

"Meg!" Erik yelled as he ran down the pier, his heart leaping into his throat when he saw his son held in the woman's arms. "Meg, stop, please!"

"He's going to help, but we think we know where Meg took Gustave, come," Erik immediately replied as he took her hand and started running towards the seaside bar and pier.

He immediately skidded to a stop, though, when he watched her pull a gun from behind her back to point it at him. "Stay there! I'll shoot if you don't! Or...or he'll end up in the water!" she threatened as she shuffled Gustave closer to the edge of the pier despite his efforts to squirm away.

"No, Meg, please! Leave him out of this!" Erik pleaded, sighing shakily when he heard Christine crying quietly behind him. "Please let him go, Meg, please don't hurt him."

"Why should I listen to you?! That's all I've done for ten years, only for you to refuse to even look my way!" the young Giry retorted. "And why does his safety matter to you so much? You hardly know him!"

"Meg, he is only a child, he should not be caught up in something like this," Erik said calmly, his eyes locked on Gustave, who was looking right back at him with distress painted on his face. "Just leave him be and keep this between us."

Meg shook her head, still holding Gustave tightly. "He is involved because he ties you to her! You couldn't just leave her behind, and then you had a child with her!"

Erik's heart sunk when he heard her and watched a frown form on his son's face. "What?" the boy quietly asked.

"And he didn't even know! The secrets never stop with you, do they?" Meg snapped, adjusting her hold on the gun still pointed at them. "The family resemblance is rather strong, though; he would have figured it out soon enough."

"Meg...Meg, please let him go," Erik said quietly, fighting to keep his voice steady despite the tears starting to well up in his eyes. "He hasn't hurt anyone, leave him out of this fight."

His fingers twitched as he waited for any sort of response or reaction from Meg, feeling Christine's hand on his back, gripping his suit coat, her anxiety palpable even though he couldn't see her.

What made the situation all the more heartwrenching, though, was what he heard his son quietly say with tear-filled eyes: "Papa, help."

"Oh, Meg, please let him go," Adele Giry piped up to say. "Let the boy go to his father, he has no part in this."

It was another moment before Erik released the breath he'd been holding when Meg pushed Gustave forward and the boy ran right into his arms. "I've got you, Gustave, you're alright," he whispered, holding his son tightly when he felt how he was shaking, then turned around so Christine and Raoul could comfort him as well.

As Gustave hugged his mother, he turned to look up at Erik. "So...so you're my real father?" he asked quietly.

Erik sighed and gave him a weak smile. "I am. I'm sorry you only just found out and that it happened this way; the situation is very complicated. Still, I'm glad you had Raoul to take care of you until now."

"So am I," Gustave replied, smiling back at him. "But I'm glad I have my real Papa now too."

"As am I, Gustave." Erik reached out to hesitantly smooth down his child's hair and simply stood looking at him for a moment, ecstatic that he was safe, but even that didn't keep him from noticing the sound of a gun's hammer being pulled back from behind them. Whirling around, he had hardly registered the weapon aimed at them before he shoved Raoul out of the way just as a shot rang out.

Then all he could feel was the searing pain in his abdomen.

There were screams as he stumbled and collapsed, that much he knew; two women - Christine, undoubtedly, and Meg along with her - as well as his son...oh, his son. The boy he had only just discovered, yet loved with all his heart, and was at the risk of leaving forever before even getting to know him, raise him, love him even more or-

"God, what did you do that for?" the Vicomte demanded, interrupting his train of thought for the second time that night.

Erik managed to find the energy to focus again and looked up to see both Raoul and Christine hunched over him, both looking rather worried, though that was more true of the latter, naturally.

"She was going to shoot you," Erik replied, stifling a groan as the Vicomte held his suit jacket to his wound to apply any pressure he could.

"So her shooting you was a better alternative?" Raoul retorted. "You...you have a family here."

Erik sighed quietly as he glanced up at Christine, who had moved to rest his head in her lap, then back to his former rival turned associate. "As do you."

He noticed the Vicomte seemed to pause at that; he looked up from the gunshot wound to his face and the pressure on his abdomen lessened momentarily. Erik wasn't surprised that Raoul had seemed caught off guard; earlier that very day, they had been at each other's throats, fighting to call Gustave and Christine theirs. That said, neither of them could have foreseen the way the night would go, so quick decisions had to be made, that much Erik recognized.

"Papa?" he heard a familiar, quiet voice say, which made him turn his head slightly to see Gustave next to his mother, fear all over his face and tears in his eyes, a few having already fallen onto his cheeks. "What's going to happen?"

Oh, how badly he wished he could say that all would be well, but he could tell that wouldn't be the case; he could already feel his strength waning and his breaths becoming more laboured with each passing moment.

"I'm sorry, Gustave. I wish you and I had had more time together," Erik said quietly, his heart aching as he watched his son simply shake his head in response.

"But I don't want you to die, I want you to stay here with us," Gustave said before he leaned over and much to everyone's surprise, hugged his father.

Erik winced slightly when he did but waved Raoul off when he began to tell Gustave to move. "I'm so sorry, my boy," he whispered, slowly moving his arm so as to avoid any extra pain and wrapping it around his son. "You're going to be alright, I promise."

"Please stay, Papa. I don't want you to go," the boy replied just before a quiet sob escaped him and he buried his face in the crook of his father's neck.

"Shh, no tears, Gustave. I'm sorry I cannot stay, but your maman has plenty of stories about me. I will never really go away, I promise you that."

"And your Papa will never break a promise if it is in his power," Christine quietly added as she gently pulled Gustave up and held him close while she fought back tears of her own.

Raoul sighed as he looked at his wife and her son, then glanced back at Erik, pulling his jacket away and feeling his stomach twist slightly at the amount of blood stating his shirt and soaking through his waistcoat. One look at Erik's face and seeing the expressions of pain that he was trying and failing to hide told him enough; the man was dying and unless help arrived that very moment, there was nothing to be done about that fact.

"They're going to be alright, Erik," he decided to say as he set his jacket to the wound again, even though he knew the ex-Phantom was well aware that it was pointless. "I am going to take care of them and I am going to do it right this time. Gustave deserves better than what I gave him, and if you can't be the one to do that, then...then I'll do it on your behalf."

Erik managed a weak smile and nod in response. "Thank you," he said hoarsely. "I...I trust you."

Raoul returned the nod and took Gustave into his arms when Christine leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss to Erik's forehead, then his lips. While a slight spark of jealousy flared up in his chest seeing that, he managed to smother it; the man was dying and deserved a moment with the woman he loved, the mother of his one and only child. Even someone with all his faults and flaws deserved that.

"I love you, Erik," he heard Christine say as he gently smoothed down his hair, no doubt trying to soothe him in his final moments. That was her way, after all; gentility and kindness whenever possible.

"As I love you, my angel," Erik whispered, lifting a slightly shaky hand to brush his knuckles against her cheek. "Thank you for...for all you've given me."

When his wife finally allowed a sob to slip from her lips, even Raoul found himself getting teary-eyed seeing her in pain. Still, he gave the pair their space, settling to hold Gustave close and wait for the inevitable end to the situation at hand.

"Oh, Christine," Erik said softly, a tear falling from his own eye, the Vicomte noticed, before his voice lifted into the weakest song he'd ever heard, which was undoubtedly all the man could manage: "Christine, don't weep, for I can finally sleep... I have heard you sing...once more."

All was silent and still at that, and Raoul hugged Gustave even tighter as he noticed the rise and fall of Erik's chest had stopped, the hand that had been resting just above his injury slipping to fall onto the deck of the pier.

"Papa?" Gustave asked quietly, lifting his head and looking over at his father's body as he started to sniffle again. "Papa, w-wake up."

"Shh, Gustave, he's gone. I'm so sorry," Raoul whispered, cradling the boy's head to his shoulder and shuffling closer to his wife to wrap an arm around her while she hugged Erik's head against her chest. "I'm sorry, Christine."

His wife simply nodded, pressing a kiss to the top of Erik's head before she turned to him. "Thank you," she whispered.

"For what?" Raoul queried with a frown.

"For everything you said. You brought him peace when he needed it and I can never thank you enough."

With a small smile, the Vicomte leaned forward to kiss her cheek. "Of course. He wanted his family to be safe and I wanted to reassure him that that would be a reality. He deserved to know that you two will be okay even when he isn't here to make sure of that himself, and I intend to ensure that happens."

#poto #phantom of the opera #lnd #love never dies #e/c #r/c #erik #christine daae #raoul de chagny #gustave #erik and gustave #oneshot #my writing

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forestwater87 · 4 years

Note

(first apologies if this is a duplicate; I got a "bad request" notification the first time I tried to send this ask) but anyhow; I saw your tags on my Lucretia post and i am not sure how to reply to tags?? but i want to see your version of that scene! (if you still want to share) I love Lucretia very much and love to see other peoples' takes on her. anyway, I hope you are having a good day!

OH MY GOD YAY!!

I mean, cool, whatever. I guess I could share a little bit of that fic. That’s fine.

(yayayayayayayay eeeeeeeeeee)

Okay, part of me wanted to blast you with the entire chapter, but that’s 25-ish pages so I’m forcing myself to show restraint here and only include the tail end. There’s a little bit of context missing, because it’s the last section of Chapter 10 of a fic that so far has at least 32 chapters, but I think it all makes sense. It’s basically just “here’s what happened in that cycle when everybody else was a statue person” and it was, you know, not a good time. (There’s some implied Magcretia, sorry not sorry.)

Plus it’s really good. I know that sounds arrogant, but I’ve spent the last 4-5 years hating every word I’ve ever written, and I’m going to enjoy this confidence for as long as it chooses to stay.

So anyway, I hope you enjoy!

There are no line breaks on tumblr anymore so this is the part where the actual writing starts:

When the Hunger arrived, it was a relief more than anything.

Lucretia had been in the middle of defending The Starblaster from a group of marauders climbing like ants all over the dented and hastily-repaired sides of the ship, trying to figure out if she could possibly shake them all free without having to resort to the magic she’d deduced made it possible for the court to find her, when the sky turned dark and everything went gray.

And her first thought was, Oh thank Pan. (She wasn’t a religious person at all, but enough time with Merle had made the casual prayers second nature.) This nightmare was almost over. In less than an hour, she’d have her family back.

She was so close to seeing Magnus again.

“Fisher, get back in your tank!” she shouted, abandoning the shield she’d been summoning and sprinting to the helm — she’d spent so much time this year running for her life that she could race from one end of the ship to the other without becoming winded. None of the marauders had made it onto the deck, but she felt the air above her head crackle with a spell that blazed past, and as she reached the controls she heard the now-familiar amplified voice call, “You are under arrest for multiple counts of evading the authority of the co — what the hell’s going on here?”

Oh, great. All her friends were here. Now all she needed was for the boar and crocodile to make an appearance.

As the officer began to interrogate the marauders (his side of the conversation still blaring loud and clear), Lucretia took advantage of the confusion to throw the ship forward. She’d had enough foresight to keep the way in front of The Starblaster clear for just this purpose, and while a few hundred yards of ash-colored grass were flattened, she was able to get the ship into the air.

She pointed it up, away from the Hunger — up into space, into nothingness, into any universe except this one, somewhere she’d stared at and imagined but now was finally going into . . .

If she could get the damaged, shuddering ship up to speed and break through the atmosphere, that was.

If not, everything ended here.

A tentacle of swirling darkness stabbed into the ground inches away from her ship, forcing her to swerve hard and nearly lose her footing. She threw all her weight on the acceleration as more of the Hunger’s tentacles latched onto the planet, the labored roar of the engines nearly drowning out the screams of panic from the people below.

As The Starblaster rocketed over a shining city with strange statues and up into the sky, a whisper made Lucretia look around — before realizing it had come from inside her own head.

We’ve been looking for you.

She frowned, clutching at the helm even tighter. Was this some sort of new thing the Hunger could do, or one last awful trick played by this hostile planet?

Another whisper, louder and lower-pitched: You’ve been evading judgement for some time now.

A massive column of the Hunger collided with the planet directly in front of her. It was so close, she had no choice but to try and blow through it, even though that meant taking the biggest risk she had all year. But The Starblaster’s momentum was impossible to halt, and the mile-wide column was impossible to go around, so she gritted her teeth, hunched over the controls, and slammed on the accelerator.

The second she crossed into the Hunger, everything went silent and black.

Everything, that was, except for the whispers:

Lucretia, you have always let others take action and responsibility while you sit back and watch. You tell yourself this is worthwhile, but you know it is a lie. And yet when it is smartest and safest to proceed with caution, you take the most reckless path, because you refuse to admit you might be wrong. Your past sins are sloth, envy, and pride. How do you plead?

How did she plead? She didn’t plead for much of anything, except to survive long enough to fly them into the next cycle. The Hunger buffeted at the ship, wrapping smaller tentacles around its sleek metal body and trying to keep it from plowing forward; it might kill her — kill them all — but not knowing what else to do, she used Mage Hand to open the nearest window without leaving the helm and cast Fire Shield around the ship. It was weak and flickering compared to the spells of protection Merle could create, but the Hunger fell back with deafening shrieks of pain as flames licked the air around The Starblaster.

The awful whispers weren’t letting up, though, digging cold fingers deep into her mind and sending a chill shudder down through her very soul.

Your present sins are no less grave. You kill without remorse. You have allowed yourself to become vindictive and spiteful. You have not abandoned your past failings, but have added new ones since our initial audit. We see fit to add to your current list of transgressions the crime of wrath. How do you plead?

Suddenly there was a break in the shimmering darkness, a bolt of ash-gray sky widening like a tear in heavy fabric — and then she was through, outside of the Hunger and so far above the doomed planet that she couldn’t see the ground below. She let out a scream of triumph, the noise tearing like sandpaper along her exhausted and dry throat, and angled the ship until it was almost vertical. The Starblaster shot forward as though with one last burst of strength, shuddering as its engines were pushed to the absolute limit . . .

The ship suddenly jolted to a halt, mechanisms whirring like a swarm of angry bees.

Lucretia turned to the still-open window and saw the entire view had been replaced with blackness, oily-iridescent tentacles spilling into the ship as others wrapped around it. She threw all of her weight on the acceleration, but it didn’t move; then, after a single grinding moment, The Starblaster began to fly backward, pulled back toward the core of the Hunger.

She could hear its gnashing teeth.

“NO!” The word exploded out of her, coming from somewhere far below conscious thought. She abandoned the helm just long enough to run to the window, ignoring the tentacles that curled around her ankles as she pointed her wand at the offshoot of the Hunger that had its hold on her, aiming for where the base met the rest of the massive column, and shot off a burst of lightning. There was another hideous wail and the tentacles around the ship shuddered and pulled away, just a slight loosening of their incredible grip.

Her entire body shaking with terror and fury, she pointed her wand at the same spot and cast Finger of Death.

The screaming was like a sonic blast — a thousand million voices filled with rage and pain and fear — knocking her onto her back and sending her skidding across the bridge. She scrambled to her feet, stumbling over her robe and lurching to the helm. The sound of the engines returning to full blast was like the roar of a furious animal loosed from its cage, and the last of the Hunger fell back as the ship threw itself up into space. It felt like the air was shouting with every conceivable emotion.

As the panic subsided and her head cleared, she realized it wasn’t the air screaming; it was those whisperers.

So much rage. So much wrath.

No remorse.

No different than the monster she tries to flee.

They were growing louder with every word, overlapping and running together until she struggled to pick out individual phrases —

She betrays the people she supposedly loves most

She destroys a family — destroys the memory of the family

Robs them of themselves

Who has the right?

No one has the right

The sound was becoming unbearable, deafening. Her ears felt like they were leaking; she lifted her hand to one and her fingers came back covered in blood.

It didn’t make sense — it wasn’t an external sound — it wasn’t an external force, but something ripping her apart from within.

It was the sound of going mad.

At that point she was barely able to understand anything

leaves him to die in agony in a hell she helped create

takes advantage of the innocent who make the mistake of believing in her

such a sweet boy, and all you do is lie to him

do you think you can make these decisions for the world?

the heartbreak you will cause

the betrayal

pride — such unfathomable pride

the deaths you will cause

the lives you will ruin

the blood that stains your hands

coldhearted — cowardly

wrath — envy — sloth

pride

PRIDE

Our judgement is decided.

You have been found wanting.

Something hardened in her chest, calcifying her lungs and making it impossible to breathe. Lucretia doubled over, her hands scrabbling to keep the ship moving, as her flesh turned hard, brittle, the feeling like casting Stone Skin but somehow it’d gotten inside . . .

She couldn’t move her tongue. She couldn’t breathe. Blackness crowded the edge of her vision — not like she was blacking out, but like her eyes just suddenly weren’t there anymore

everything went wobbly, the universe becoming untethered just for a moment

And when it stabilized, she realized she could move again, see again. She took a deep, tremulous breath and turned back from the helm, sliding to the floor in a heap.

It was less than a second, before the I.P.R.E. crew fully materialized, but she didn’t see it happen. As soon as the surreal, smoky outlines of her friends wavered into being, she dropped her head in her hands, a sob she’d been holding back for months finally escaping her throat.

She did it.

Magnus’s hands closed around her upper arms and he gently tugged her into an embrace. She could feel the cool steel of the bridge under her knees, heard the voices of all her friends speaking all at once. She was dimly aware she was talking, mumbling nonsense to herself as she waited for the world to stop spinning.

The last thing she was aware of before slipping into unconsciousness was Magnus’s breath on her forehead and his warm fingers combing through her hair.

78 notes · View notes

max-is-tired · 4 years

Text

Misconceptions: A Show

Pairing: Intrulogical

Characters: Remus Sanders, Logan Sanders, Roman Sanders, Patton Sanders, Virgil Sanders, Deceit Sanders.

Words: 3.941

Warnings: sympathetic Deceit & Remus, swearing, some graphic talk bc it’s Remus, screaming in caps

Notes: Finally, I can post this monster of a fic -hey there, @princeyssash, guess who was your secret santa? This fic was honestly so much fun to write, I swear -I loved all of the prompts I had, but this one just called to me,,, I had to,,

Big thanks to @purp-man for betaing this fic for me and listening to my 3am rambles, and shoutout to @afulldeckofaces for helping me flesh out some plot points, like Virgil memeing his way through Roman’s plans. You’re the absolute best <33

Commission me!! Buy me a coffee!! My Discord server!! AO3!!

It was a normal day in the mindscape.

Patton was humming happily in the kitchen, shuffling around with a pep in his step as he mixed the batter for some cookies. In the living room, Logan and Virgil were enjoying each other’s company while doing their own thing, may it be reading or half-slouching on the couch while scrolling aimlessly through Tumblr.

Everything was peaceful.

Until it wasn’t.

“YOU DIRTY LITTLE SEWER RAT GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!!”

Everyone jumped at the sudden shout, Virgil going as far as tumbling off the couch with a startled yelp. From upstairs, Remus’ unmistakable laughter bounced on the walls, followed shortly after by the twin himself bolting down the stairs with a maniacal grin on his face.

“Oh god,” Virgil groaned from the floor, pinching the bridge of his nose, “what the fuck did he do now?”

“Language, kiddo,” Patton called, emerging from the kitchen with a confused frown on his face.

Turns out, they didn’t have to wait long for an answer.

“REMUS!!” Roman screeched, running down the stairs. He looked thoroughly pissed, eyes flashing dangerously as he glared daggers at his brother.

Virgil took one look at him, blinked, and then promptly broke down cackling.

“Stop laughing, Hot Topic!” Roman exclaimed, cheeks flushing red. Not that his blush was very noticeable, due to the various scribbles and crude drawings covering his face. “Look at what he did to my beautiful face!”

“You just don’t understand real art, brother dearest,” Remus snickered, waving the marker in his hand around.

“Oh, I’ll show you real art,” Roman muttered darkly, unsheathing his sword as he stalked down the last steps of the stairs.

At the sight of the unsheathed sword, Virgil’s eyes widened in alarm, his body tensing slightly as it became clear the situation was starting to escalate. Beside him, Logan looked at the two brothers, sighed in resignation and snapped the book in his hands shut.

“That’s quite enough, you two,” he said, staring the two brothers down with a raised eyebrow.

“Specs, he drew penises on my face! Multiple times!!”

“Which you can easily snap off with a wave of your hand,” Logan pointed out, “I do not believe there is any need for all this screaming, or for weapons to be brought into the picture.”

“Logan, you don’t understand, I gotta fight him now! For my honor!!” Roman exclaimed, waving his arms around -and therefore further proving Logan’s point by almost cutting Deceit’s head off as the side rose up to check what the commotion was about.

“Oi, watch it!” Deceit called out, ducking to avoid another accidental swipe of Roman’s sword, “who are you, Zuko?”

“If Roman’s Zuko then Logan is totally Uncle Iroh,” Virgil added, still lying on the floor.

Logan shrugged. “If we are referring to the first season of Avatar: The Last Airbender then yes, I can see the similarities.”

Roman squinted at them, finally lowering his sword. “There is an insult somewhere in that phrase. I don’t know where, but I know there is.”

“It’s because you’re a dumb-head, bro!” Remus cackled, once again calling the attention to himself.

Roman growled, looking more than ready to stalk through the room and tackle his twin to the ground, but Logan anticipated him before the situation could escalate once again.

“Remus, I believe this is quite enough,” he said, turning towards the aforementioned twin.

“Aw, but Logan, I’m just having some fun!”

Logan simply raised an eyebrow, staring him down.

“Ugh, fiiiine!” Remus finally groaned, throwing the marker somewhere behind himself, “that does not mean I’m happy about it though!”

Then, he sank out.

Peace once again established, Logan hummed and leaned back on the couch, going back to reading his book.

Or at least that was the plan.

“What the fuck just happened?” Virgil asked, staring at him in disbelief.

“Virgil, language!!”

“Sorry Padre, but I gotta agree with Cout Woelaf here,” Roman said, sword laying limp in his grip, “that was nothing less but weird.”

“I honestly do not understand where all of this apparent confusion is coming from,” Logan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“You told Remus to stop!” Roman exclaimed, throwing his arms up, “and he listened to you!!”

“Roman, your sword!” Deceit hissed in frustration, having had to duck for the third time to avoid being cut in tiny scaley pieces. “If you don’t put it down this instant I might just try and stab you with it, do not try me.”

Roman grumbled but complied, making the sword disappear with a wave of his hand. Then, he crossed his arms, looking once again towards the logical side. “My point still stands though. Remus never listens to anyone, like, ever.”

“Yeah, I think I have to agree with them here Lo,” Patton said, still standing under the kitchen’s doorway, “that was a little weird.”

“Well, I do not know what to tell you,” Logan countered, “I asked him to stop, he complied and then sank out -it’s as simple as that.”

“If you say so,” Roman said, squinting at him in suspicion.

From the other side of the room, Deceit gave him A Look, appearing to be torn between amusement and concern. Logan subtly raised an eyebrow in response, making sure the others would not notice their silent exchange.

After all, it wasn’t like he could just tell them the truth, could he?

+++

When Logan finally sank up in his room, sometime later, he was not surprised to see a very familiar side sprawled on his bed, head hanging from the side of the mattress as he threw a tiny dagger up and down in the air.

“Lolo!!” Remus grinned, spotting him, “took you a while, I was starting to get bored!”

“I wanted to finish this novel first,” Logan said, putting the book in question back to its place in his large library, “it was rather interesting.”

“You know what would be interesting?” Remus asked, not looking away from the other as he kept playing with his dagger, “to find out what would happen if this dagger hit me in the eye!! Do you think it would reach all the way to my brain?”

“I suppose it would,” Logan hummed, sitting beside the creative side and quickly catching the dagger out of the air when Remus threw it again, “but between proving that hypothesis and spending the rest of the day with my not-injured husband, I think I prefer the second option more.”

“Oh really?” Remus grinned, sitting up -a slim silver chain fell out of his shirt with the movement, the golden ring hanging from it twinkling in the light of the room. “And tell me, how would you like to spend that time, my dear?”

Logan hummed, the light pressure of his own ring hiding under his shirt bringing a smile to his face. “Oh, I’m sure my dear husband will have some ideas of his own to share.”

“Oh, you are wicked,” Remus said, before leaning in to capture Logan’s lips in a kiss.

+++

For a while, it seemed like whatever had happened in the living room had been forgotten -the others were still confused by how easy it was for Logan to make Remus listen to him, but most of them waved it off as Logic easily overpowering Intrusive Thoughts with rationality and all that shit.

(Deceit knew better than that, but that was mostly because lying to him was next to impossible and Logan had been smart enough to let him in on their secret as soon as it had started to become a serious thing, both to help the couple lie to the other sides and to avoid him finding out on his own and potentially jeopardizing their cover.)

Point is, no one had yet discovered the real reason between the apparent chemistry between the two sides. But that didn’t mean they weren’t starting to notice things.

The first one to start suspecting something was, surprisingly enough, Virgil.

He had been sneaking to the kitchen around 3am, planning to grab a quick snack from the pantry and then tip-toe back to his own room, all the while hoping not to alert anyone of his nighttime escapade -he had already been at the receiving end of several stern talks about his fucked-up sleeping schedule and did not want to have to sit through another one, thank you very much.

What he had not been expecting, was to find himself staring at Logan’s back, the logical side looking busy filling two mugs with steaming water.

Virgil froze on his tracks, eyes wide in alarm as he tried to figure out how to sneak back out of the kitchen and up the stairs without being noticed. Unfortunately, Logan seemed to have other ideas and turned around before the anxious side could make up his mind about the next course of action.

“Uh,” Logan said, blinking in surprise, “hello, Virgil. I have to be honest, I was not expecting to meet anyone at this hour of the night.”

“Likewise, I guess,” Virgil shrugged, giving the other a tiny smile, “why are you up at this hour anyway? Weren’t you the one waxing poetry about the importance of a regular sleep schedule?”

“I got sidetracked, I guess. One late night won’t harm me in any way or form, I assure you.”

Virgil snickered. “I’m telling Patton you said that.”

“I don’t think you will,” Logan countered, calm as ever as he put down the kettle and moved to grab the two cups, “because if you do I will tell Patton about you sneaking into the kitchen at 3am with, as it appears, not a single ounce of sleep in your body.”

“... harsh, L. Real harsh.”

“Just stating facts,” Logan said, before walking out of the kitchen.

Virgil stared after him, watching the logical side leisurely cross the living room and walk up the stairs until he could not see him anymore. Then, he shrugged, quickly walking to the pantry and grabbing the snack he had come for.

He straightened up, holding triumphantly a bag of chips, only to freeze up again when a tiny detail finally struck him.

“Wait, why the fuck did he have two mugs?”, he wondered, turning back to glance at the stairs. Then, he turned towards the kitchen counter, noticing a little bag sitting just to the side of where Logan had been standing just a few seconds before.

“Kuding Tea” read the caption on the front of the bag, the inside filled with slim, dark tea nails.

Virgil frowned, rolling the name around in his head. He was sure he had heard it before, but where?

+++

The second one was Roman.

He had been strolling idly around the Imagination, humming a song under his breath as he walked along a path in the woods. Of course, his guard wasn’t completely down, not now that he was so near Remus’ side of the Imagination -while his relationship with his brother had greatly improved in the last year or so, he was still very much aware of the dangerous creatures lurking in his brother’s domain, and Roman had no desire to be caught by surprise by one of them.

Could you imagine the teasing, if Remus ever were to find out?

So yeah, he was still being very attentive to his surroundings -that’s probably half of the reason why he found himself hesitating when what sounded like distant laughter reached his ears.

Roman stilled, focusing on his surroundings. But all he could hear was silence, and after a few more seconds he was about ready to shrug it off to his imagination.

Then, the same, faint sound echoed from somewhere in the forest.

Curious, Roman started following the sound, watching his steps as his hand moved to hover over the handle of his sword -better be safe than sorry, he figured.

It didn’t take long for him to reach his destination, the forest receding just a few feet in front of him to make room for a vast, lush clearing. What he found, however, was something he could have never fathomed.

In the middle of the clearing, sitting on the grass in front of each other, were Remus and Logan, looking way too engrossed in their own conversation to notice the stunned prince staring at them from just behind a tree.

Remus seemed to be showing Logan something, looking completely enraptured by whatever Logan was saying.

The logical side was talking animatedly, waving his hands around with a grin as he occasionally gestured to something sitting between them. And Remus, well, he was staring at Logan with an expression Roman was pretty sure he’d never seen on his twin’s face.

He was looking at Logan like he was the sole holder of every secret of the universe, like he was everything he could see and hear.

He looked absolutely, utterly smitten, and Roman did not know what to do with that information.

+++

For Patton, well, it was more of a gradual realization.

He may not be the smartest in the group, but he was not by any means an idiot. He had noticed right away the potential chemistry between the two sides, the way Logan never seemed to be fazed by Remus’ shenanigans or the way Remus seemed to enjoy poking fun at the logical side.

Initially, he had not been very thrilled about it. But as time went on and they started to get closer to the dark sides, he could see how those two being friends could be highly beneficial for everyone, Remus and Logan included.

And he thought that was all it was -a blossoming friendship!

But the more time passed, the more Patton started to realize how that wasn’t exactly the case.

He didn’t know what initially tipped him off, really. Maybe it was the shared glances when one of them thought the other wasn’t looking, or the smile both of the sides seemed to fight down when in the presence of the other.

Maybe it was the subtle change in Logan’s demeanor, the way he’d grown calmer, happier, metaphorically softer around the edges ever since he and Remus had started growing closer.

Something was starting to bloom between the two sides, and Patton was not so sure it was a simple, innocent friendship anymore.

+++

Things came to a head one fateful Saturday afternoon, with Logan stuck revising schedules with Thomas and Remus doing who-knows-what in the Imagination.

The other sides were all lounging in the living room, all doing their own thing.

Then, Roman spoke up.

“Do you guys think something’s going on between Remus and Logan?”

Virgil, who was very much not expecting to hear something like that in the foreseeable future, jumped up from where he had been sprawled on the couch, headphones hanging limp from his neck as he stared wide-eyed at the creative side.

“Please tell me you’re not implying what I think you are implying.”

Roman shrugged, looking away as he scratched the base of his neck. “I don’t know what to tell you, Panic! At The Everywhere -I’m just asking.”

“If I have to be completely honest, actually,” piped up Patton from his place on the floor, stopping the episode of Parks & Rec they had been using as a background, “I have noticed some strange things too.”

“Right??” Roman exclaimed, “I saw them in the Imagination, last week, and I swear to god at one point Remus’ expression almost rivaled the way Logan usually looks at a jar of Crofters.”

“Whoa there Princey,” Virgil said, “don’t you think you’re exaggerating a little?”

“I know what I saw, J.D-lightful.”

“And I think Logan could be developing some feelings for Remus, even if he probably hasn’t quite realized it yet,” Patton added.

Virgil went to argue, but suddenly a realization struck him.

“Oh fuck,” he whispered in shock, suddenly looking like he was reevaluating everything he’d ever known.

“What?” Roman asked, confused.

“I caught Logan down in the kitchen, the other day,” Virgil explained, “he was brewing two cups of tea -which I found rather strange, really, but it was something like 3am so I didn’t question it too much. But I saw the name of the tea he brewed, and it felt familiar but I didn’t connect the dots until now.”

“Well?” Roman prompted, “We’re on the edge of our seats here, Marilyn Morose.”

“It was Kuding Tea, aka Remus’ favorite,” Virgil revealed. “He made us brew it all the time, and he was the only one able to drink that stuff because it’s one of the most bitter things you could ever try to swallow.”

Patton hummed, looking deep in thought. “Looks like those two might be closer than we thought.”

Roman grinned, something akin to mischief glinting in his eyes. “How about we help them grow just a little bit closer, uh?”

“We can discuss all of that later, Ro, but first there’s another thing we need to talk about,” Patton said, before turning to look at Virgil with a stern look on his face. “Virgil Sanders, what’s this I hear about you being up at 3am again?”

(Engrossed as they were in the new revelations, none of the sides noticed the tiny smirk stretching on Deceit’s face as he watched the scene unfold. He could have tried to stop them from trying to meddle, sure.

But where would be the fun in that?)

+++

As it turned out, not a single one of the sides’ plans came even close to its goal.

First came Patton’s idea, which was arguably the most subtle. They set up a family dinner, pestering the two sides until they confirmed their presence at the table. Then, very last minute, everyone gave random excuses as to why they couldn’t come. Everyone was sure it would work, even if they didn’t stick around to find out -knowing Remus’s tendency to make things rather… spicy, they didn’t want to find out what would happen after the two finally confessed their feelings.

However, when, the day after, they asked Logan how the dinner had gone, the logical side simply leveled them with a confused stare.

“Since you all weren’t there we just agreed to bring the food back to our rooms and keep doing our work -I still had some possible scripts to read through so it worked just fine for me.”

So, it looked like plan A had been a failure.

Roman, in all of his finesse and “romantic prowess” (his exact words), decided to put his own plan in action -which consisted of not-so-subtly shoving the two sides in the same room and “accidentally” break the doorknob, effectively trapping them inside.

(“Wow, a true Cupido alright.”

“Oh, shut up, you Emo Nightmare.”)

However, Roman’s incredible, astonishing, foolproof plan (again, his exact words) did not account for one specific aspect, aka Remus’ tendency of not letting puny, material things like doors keep him trapped.

In less than five minutes, the two sides were free once again, easily sidestepping what little remained of the door with Remus still holding his morning star in his hands.

And just like that, plan B joined its predecessor down the metaphorical toilet.

Last came Virgil’s plan, which was quite different from the other two’s -it was succinct, concise, and the farthest thing from subtle you could ever think of.

“Hey L,” he called one day, not even looking up from his phone, “what if you went and kissed Remus?”

Logan slowly looked up from his book. “... I apologize, what?”

Virgil shrugged, smirking. “Don’t worry, I’m just kidding. Unless…?”

Logan blinked at him, looking thoroughly confused. “Virgil, are you unwell? How many hours of rest did you get last night?”

And that’s how plan C joined its sibling down in the metaphorical sewer.

(“Your plan was a meme??”

“At least I didn’t try to cliché them into a relationship, Princey.”)

Point is, by the end of the week the three sides had still to come up with a tactic that could actually work. So, they planned another brainstorm question in the living room.

Only, they appeared to have greatly miscalculated Remus and Logan’s whereabouts.

“Alright, you guys want to share with the class what the fuck is going on already?”

The three sides jumped in unison, whipping their heads around to stare at the two sides standing at the bottom of the stairs. Remus was leaning on the railing, looking at them expectantly, while Logan was standing just beside him with his arms crossed in front of his chest, one single eyebrow raised in a silent question.

“Uuuuuh…” Patton spoke up, looking at the other two in search of help, “language?”

“Pat, I think my language is the least of our problems now,” Remus retorted, refusing to drop the subject, “so, who wants to start talking first?”

The three sides, who looked like three deers caught in the headlights, seemed to grow more panicked by the second, searching for a possible explanation and coming up empty-handed.

“We found out you guys have a crush on each other and wanted to help you two get together!” Roman finally blurted.

“Roman!” Virgil growled, turning to glare at the creative side.

“I’m sorry!” Roman squeaked, throwing his arms up in frustration.

“You could have been a little more… tactful about it, kiddo,” Patton said, smiling nervously as they all waited with bated breath what the two’s reactions would be.

Logan and Remus blinked, dumbfounded. Then, they turned to look at each other, before Remus decided that the best course of action was, of course, to break down into hysterical giggles, compete with wheezing and tears prickling at the corners of his eyes.

As for Logan, well, he limited himself to chuckling, looking downright amused by the whole situation.

So yeah, not exactly the reactions the others were expecting.

“... what?” Virgil asked, “please tell me I’m not the only confused one right now.”

“Apologies, Virgil,” Logan said, as Remus kept merrily cackling his lungs out on the floor, “we just thought something serious was going on, since you have all been acting strangely during the last week or so. Discovering that the reason behind your strange behavior was that, well, is rather amusing.”

“Wait, is that your way of telling us you actually don’t like Remus?” Roman said.

“Actually, I do like him, in a romantic sense,” Logan chuckled, throwing a fond look at the side wheezing on the ground. “We have been engaged in a romantic relationship for a while now.”

“... I know I probably sound like a broken record but what?”

“He wants to tap this booty, Vee!” Remus cackled, “and I’m 100% down for that!”

“ By the horn of a unicorn, please spare us the details,” Roman muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“So that means you guys are already in a relationship?!” Patton exclaimed, a wide grin on his face as he clapped his hands in obvious delight, “oh my gosh, that’s so cute! I’m so happy for you guys!!”

“I don’t know if I want to be angry because you guys didn’t tell us or because my brother somehow managed to score a boyfriend before me,” Roman grumbled.

Logan and Remus shared a glance at that, mischief twinkling in both of their eyes. Then, once it appeared they were both on the same page, Remus spoke, barely stopping himself from giggling in anticipation.

“Actually we’re married, but go off I guess.”

Silence fell, seconds ticking by as the news started to sink in.

“Now hold on a second you guys aRE WHAT-”

And then, chaos.

#sanders sides #intrulogical #lomus #remus sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit #sympathetic remus #swearing #caps #intrulogical fluff #lomus fluff #ts fanfiction #sanders sides fanfiction #maxiswriting

962 notes · View notes

adorpheus · 3 years

Text

on fujoshi and fetishization

Lately, more and more, both here on tumblr and on other sites, I keep seeing people spew unfiltered hatred at fujoshi - that is, women who like mlm content such as gay fanfic and fanart featuring men with other men. And I don’t mean like a specific type of fujoshi, like the ones who are genuinely being weird about it, but just like a general hatred for girls (but especially straight identifying girls) who express love for gay romance.

I hate to break this to you all, but women (including straight women!) actually are allowed to like mlm fanfiction and fanart, even enthusiastically so. A woman simply expressing her love of gay fanfic, even if it is in kind of a cringey way or a way that you personally don’t like, is NOT automatically fetishization.

I’ve been on the receiving end of fetishization for my entire life, from a very young age, as many black and brown folx have, so I consider myself pretty well acquainted with how it works. Fetishization isn’t just like, being really into drawings of boys kissing, or whatever the fuck y’all are trying to imply on this god forsaken site.

Fetishization is complicated imo, and can encompass a lot of things, such as (but not limited to):

1 - dehumanization, e.g. viewing a group of people as sexual objects who exist purely for entertainment purposes, rather than acknowledging them as actual people who deserve respect and rights

and

2 - projecting certain assumptions onto said people based on their race/sexuality/whatever is being fetishized. These assumptions are often, but not always, sexual in nature (like the idea that black people in general are more sexual than other races, etc etc etc).

I’m going to use myself as an example to illustrate my point. Please note this isn’t the best or most nuanced example, but it is the most simplistic. A white person finding me attractive and respectfully appreciating my black features as part of what makes me beautiful is not, on its own, fetishization. A white person finding me attractive solely or mostly because I’m a PoC is now in fetishization territory. Similarly, assuming I’m dominant because of my blackness (like saying “step on me mommy” and shit like that) is hella fetishistic.

That being said, theres definitely a difference between how fetishization works in real life with real people, and how it shows up in fandom.

Fetishization manifests in many different ways in fandom, but most commonly on the mlm side of things, I personally see it appear as conservative (or centrist) women who love the idea of two men together, but don’t actually like gay people, and don’t necessarily think LGBT+ people deserve rights (or “special treatment” as its sometimes dog whistled). These women view queer men as sexual objects for entertainment rather than an actual group of people who deserve to be protected from systemic oppression. I’ve noticed that they often don’t even think of the men they “ship” together as actually being gay, and may even express disgust at the idea of a character in an mlm ship being headcanon’d gay. In case its not obvious, this is pretty much exactly the same way a lot of cishet men fetishize lesbians (they see “lesbian” as a porn category, rather than like, what actual LGBT people think of when we read the word lesbian). There’s a pretty popular viral tweet thread going around where someone explains seeing this trend of conservative women who like mlm stuff, and I have also personally witnessed this phenomenon myself in more than one fandom.

The funny thing is, maybe its just me buuuut.... The place I see this particular kind of fetishization happen most is not in the anime/BL fandom, from which the term fujoshi originates - I actually see these type of women way way more in western fandom spaces like Supernatural, Harry Potter, and Hannibal. I can’t stress this enough, there’s a shocking amount of people who are like, straight up trump supporters in these fandoms. If you want to experience it, try joining a Hannigram or Destiel group on facebook and you will probably encounter one eventually especially if you happen to be living through a major historical event. Like these women probably wouldn’t even be considered “fujoshi”, because that term doesn’t really apply to them given they aren’t in the BL/anime fandom, yet they’re the ones I personally see actually doing the most harm.

Of course this isn’t the ONLY kind of fetishizing woman in the mlm/BL world, there are other ways fetishization shows up, but this is the most toxic kind that I see.

A girl just being really into BL or whatever may be “cringe” to you, or she may be expressing her love for BL in a “cringey” way, but a straight woman really enjoying BL is not, on its own, somehow inherently fetishization. Yes, sometimes teenage girls act kind of cringe about how much they like BL and that might be annoying to you, but its not necessarily ~problematic~.

That being said, IT NEEDS BE REMARKED that a lot of the “fujoshi” that you all hate so deeply, are actually closeted trans men or nonbinary people who haven’t yet come to terms with their gender identity, or are otherwise just NOT cishet. I know because I was one of these closeted people for years, and I honestly think tumblr and the cultural obsession around purity is one of the many reasons I was closeted so deeply for so long. STORYTIME LOL!!! In my early adolescence, I was a sort of proto “fujoshi”. I identified as a bi girl who was mostly attracted to men, or as most (biphobic) people called it, “practically straight”. I wrote and read “slash” fanfic and looked at as well as drew my own fanart. We didn’t use the term fujoshi back then, but that’s definitely how I could have been described. I was obsessed with yaoi, BL, whatever you want to call it, to a cringe-inducing degree. I really struggled to relate to most het romances, so when I first discovered yaoi fanfics (as we called them at the time), I fell in love and felt like I finally found the type of romance content that was made for me. I didn’t know exactly why, I just knew it hit different. LGBT+ fanart and fanfiction brought me an immense amount of joy, and I didn’t really think too hard about why.

At some point, in my early 20s, after reading lots of discourse™ here on tumblr and other places like twitter, I started to get the sinking feeling that my passion for gay fanfiction was ~problematic~. I had always felt a sense of guilt for being into mlm content, because literally anyone who found out I liked BL (especially the men I dated) shamed me for liking it all the fucking time (which btw is literally just homophobic, like can we talk about that?). In addition to THAT bullshit, now I’m seeing posts telling me that girls who like BL are cringey gross fetishists who inspire rage and should go die?

Let me tell you, I internalized the fuck out of messages like this. I desperately wanted to avoid being ~problematic~. At the time, I thought being problematic was like the worst thing you could be. I was terrified of being “cancelled”, before canceling was even really a thing. I thought to myself, “oh my god, I’m gross for liking this stuff? I should stop.” I beat myself up over this. I wanted so badly to be accepted, and to be deemed a Good Person by the internet and society at large.

I tried to shape up and become a good ally (lmfao). I stopped writing fanfic and deleted all the ones I was working on at the time. I made a concerted effort to assimilate into cishet culture, including trying to indulge myself more deeply in the few fandoms I could find that had het content I did enjoy (Buffy, True Blood, Pretty Little Liars, etc). I would occasionally look at BL/fanfic/etc in private, but then I would repress my interest in it and not look for a while. Instead I would look at women in straight relationships, and create extremely heterosexual Couple Goals pinterest boards, and try to figure out how I could become more like these women, so I, too, could be loved someday.

This cycle of repression lasted like eight years. Throughout it all, I was performing womanhood to the best of my ability and trying to become a woman that was worthy of being in a relationship. I went in and out of several “straight” relationships, wondering why they didn’t make me feel the way reading fanfic did. Most of all, I couldn’t figure out why straight intimacy didn’t work for me. I just didn’t enjoy it. I always preferred looking at or making gay fanfiction/fanart over actual intimacy with men in real life.

Eventually, I stumbled upon a trans coming out video that someone I was following posted online, my egg started to crack, and to make an extremely long story short, after like 3 years of introspection and many gender panic attacks that I still experience to this day, I realized that I’m uh... MAYBE... NOT CIS..!? :|

I truly believe if I had just been ALLOWED TO LIKE GAY STUFF WITHOUT BEING SHAMED FOR IT, I probably would have realized I was trans way way sooner. Because for me, indulging in my love of gay romance and writing gay fanfic wasn’t me being a weirdo fetishist, it was actually me exploring my own gender identity. It is what helped me come to terms with being a nonbinary trans boy.

Not everyone realizes they are trans at age 2 or whatever the fuck. Sometimes you have to go through a cringey fujoshi phase and multiple existential crises to realize how fucking gay you are AND THATS FINE.

And one more thing - can we just be real here?

A lot of anti-fujoshi sentiment is literally just misogyny. omg please realize this. Its “women aren’t allowed to enjoy things” but, like... with gay fanfics. Some of the anti-fujoshi posts I see come across my dash are clearly ppl projecting a caricature they invented in their head of a demonic fujoshi fetishist onto any woman who expresses what they consider to be a little too much enthusiasm for gay content and then using their perception of that individual as an excuse to justify their disdain for any women, especially straight women, ‘invading’ their ~oh so exclusive~ queer fandom spaces.

god get over yrselfs this is gatekeeping by another name

idk why i spent so long writing this no one is even going to read it, does anyone even still use this site

*EDIT: HOLY SHIT WHEN DOING RESEARCH FOR THIS POST I FOUND OUT THAT Y-GALLERY IS BACK OMG!!!

#rant #fujoshi #I SAID WHAT I SAID #personal #gender stuff

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evandearest · 3 years

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The Garden of Eden Explanation

Series Masterlist: The Garden of Eden Series

Warning: Read After Part Two: Reflection!! SPOILERS AHEAD.

Hey guys, it’s Emilie (@evandearest)! So I’ve just decided to pop in here and make a post about my current James March x reader series, The Garden of Eden. This is just something that I’ve decided to do just to clear things up, both for any readers and for myself <3.

This series was requested by @etoile-writings , who is now one of my good friends here on tumblr :). This post will contain spoilers, so if you haven’t read part one and two I suggest you do! After I finish writing the entire series, I will do a separate review post to explain the symbolism and references in depth with the entire story. This post will just contain an explanation for the concepts and symbolism in the events so far.

JUXTAPOSITION:

The original request was juxtaposition, which is basically just an idea: the fact of two things being seen or placed close together with contrasting effect. It’s just simply a comparison - a contrast between two objects. In this story’s case, the two things are the reader and James. The contrast is revealed as the story goes, but it’s basically the fact that the reader constantly looks at everything in a religious view, while James is completely against religion, as we’ve seen in the show. This will get more prevalent in part three, which at this point in time is still being wrote.

READER’S DARKNESS:

As the story goes on, this will be revealed further, but there has already been multiple instances in which the reader has seemed passive towards violence/physical hurting, the seriousness of the situation seeming to go over her head; no empathy shown. This occurred in two instances: when James killed her husband, and when the man in the hotel was in pain. As I said, this will be explored further, but is to be kept in mind, as it ties in with the juxtaposition concept.

WHITE ROSES:

Now let’s talk about the flowers, which were included as part of the request as well. They mainly tied into the whole “Garden of Eden” biblical concept, which we will get into next. I specifically chose white roses as the flower of interest because of their symbolism:

“ White roses often represent purity, innocence, and youthfulness. White roses are sometimes referred to as bridal roses because of their association with young love and eternal loyalty. White roses can also symbolize a new beginning and everlasting love. ”

In part two, you find out the origin of James’ and the reader’s love; how it all started in the garden, with the roses. However, the roses are very prevalent throughout the entire story, as well as what the owner of the garden said about them: “if you kill the rose, the rose no longer profits you.” (keep that in mind)

They are what is known as a motif of literature.

The first and simplest symbolic thing about them is the fact that they are the readers favorite flower, which is explained in the flashback in part two. Since they symbolize purity and innocence, it’s only right for them to be the reader’s favorite flower, as she is the same symbolic representation.

So far, they have briefly appeared in part one when James arrives at the reader’s house, and then again throughout most of part two.

To recall to part one:

“ Before you knew it, the man you had dreamed of for so many years was standing before you. You gasped as your eyes met his, the same dark brown framed by his sharp masculine features. It was as if you had seen the sun after years in the dark. Your eyes took in his features before shifting to look at the object in his hands. A bouquet of white roses lay clasped between his hands; your flowers. He had remembered. He really had come back for you. Finally, you had your James again. “

Since white roses symbolize a new beginning and everlasting love, I thought it important and fitting to include them as a symbol of just that. James and reader have always loved one another; everlasting love. James has come back for reader and they are starting their relationship again; a new beginning. The new beginning symbolism also applies to when the reader and James first met, or began.

BIBLICAL REFERENCE:

Now here’s where ideas collide a little bit. The Garden of Eden idea intertwines both of the previous topics into one another. First I want to establish what the real Garden of Eden story from the Bible is for anyone who doesn’t know. (Disclaimer: There are many many many interpretations of this story, and I just tried to find the simplest one.)

The Garden of Eden was essentially paradise. God placed an innocent Adam and Eve in the garden and tells them that they can eat freely from all of the trees in the garden, except of a tree of the knowledge of good and evil. When they are coerced by snakes of evil and eat the fruit, they gain the knowledge, and God banishes them from the garden as punishment for disobeying him. They were both sent down to Earth as God’s representatives. In some interpretations, Earth is often thought to be hell. So in a way, they were sent to hell.

That being said, here is how that fits into the story. James and reader meet in a white rose garden when they are young, which implements both the roses as a symbol of youthfulness and the innocence that is said to come with that, as well as a comparison between James & reader and Adam & Eve. When James and reader get older and gain more knowledge, they are forced apart, are no longer together in love, and their paradise is lost. This compares to Adam and Eve’s banishment to hell, when their paradise was lost. So in a biblical way, James and reader have been forced apart (losing paradise) to live in hell (which is just living without one another) as a punishment or consequence for gaining knowledge, or getting older. (Read that a few times to process it lmao)

As a side note, reader’s mother had also warned her of this. In the flashback, reader recalls her mothers words, “One day when all the distractions of young age are gone, you’ll realize why you need to be prepared.” You can assume that she had known that reader would be married off by her father, signifying that the same thing happened to her (it was common in the time), which ties into the “cycle of life“ concept (more about that down below). This is also basically saying that when you get older and become no longer oblivious (gain knowledge), you won’t live life the same carefree way. You loose your inner child. Reader’s mother was just trying to prepare her for that.

GOD CONCEPT:

Now we get to the reader and James’ new beginning, where all James wants is to recreate that paradise for the reader. The reader in turn views James as a God because of multiple reasons: he saved and freed her from hell, returned to her, he’s always been the one she can rely on and always loved (chose) her, made her feel like she was invincible when by his side, and also the fact that he went from being a poor boy to a rich man and built an empire (the hotel) on it.

And from here I’d like to talk about just a few more things; first being the last little bit of part two. I just feel like I need to explain the meaning of that part’s ending in conclusion to everything, to wrap everything up.

To recall once again:

“ You smiled once more at his words, thinking back to that day in the garden once more, and to your mother’s words. The feeling you had now was a reflection of the feeling you had then. He’d always made you feel so incredibly self-assured. You felt like no matter what happened to you and James, nothing could break you at this point and time. And your mother had been right: gaining the knowledge was important.

Now that you’d ate the fruit of the garden and survived hell, what could possibly stop you?

You felt invincible, so long as he was by your side. You no longer feared the past or the future; you were completely centered present, all cycles broken. And it had took James less than a day to make you feel this way. Your excitement soared as you thought about your future with James. You knew that so long as you had him, you were unstoppable together. You were gods.

You didn’t need the garden, after all. Paradise lost stood no match to you, because with James, you could survive anything. “

I’m going to specifically talk about the bold parts. Okay, so “eating the fruit of the garden” means gaining knowledge, as we’ve discussed, and for James and reader that represents their separation when they got older. So it’s basically saying that now that the reader and James have survived everything (from being separated to surviving without one another {hell} to then finding their way back to each other), what else could they possibly face that would break them? And the last line is similar: the reader realizes that they have survived so much already, and feels that they can take anything. They don’t need to “go back” to anywhere; they can survive in any circumstance; they do not need the garden or paradise.

More about the god concept: since the reader views James as a god, and then feels invincible by his side, she feels as if they are now gods together.

CYCLE OF LIFE:

The cycle of life idea was not apart of the request, but upon approaching part one, I just kind of threw it in, as it added to the story quite a lot. The cycle of life ties straight into the whole reflection part of the story, with the reader having flashbacks to the past events that seemed to almost mirror the current events. This happens mainly in the two situations in which it was pointed out: when the reader was being abused by James father in the past and her husband in the present, and the feeling the reader had when she first met James being the same as she feels for him now in this new beginning. It’s a repetition. In the beginning of part one, it also begs the question: do the lessons we’re really meant to learn in life recur without us noticing?

END NOTES:

And that’s it! I hope that cleared some things up if you were confused! Let me know any questions you may have and I will certainly reply as quick as I can! I’m so unbelievably excited to finish part three! Thanks so much to everyone for the support <3. Happy Holidays if you celebrate! Sending love to all~ xoxo

#the garden of eden series #james march #james imagine #james x reader #james march imagine #james march x reader #james march smut #james patrick march #james patrick march imagine #evan peters imagine #Evan Peters #evan peters x reader #ahs #ahs imagine #american horror story #american horror story hotel #american horror story imagine #ahs hotel #hotel

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twinkle-320 · 4 years

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The Climb

This is my submission for the Quote me on this challenge. The quote I was given appears in the mood board below and is bolded in the fic.

This is my first fic on tumblr so I am a little nervous. I tried really hard to keep it to 1000 words but admittedly went a bit over (1490ish 😬).

Since my writing is new you can Meet my MC here.

Song for this Drabble: “The Climb” by Miley Cyrus

Warning: light language and suggestion of lemon

Tag list for Quote me on this:

@riseandshinelittleblossom @leelee10898 @ao719 @darley1101 @theroyalrookie @bobasheebaby @texaskitten30 @batgirlassociationofgothamcity @burnsoslow @drethanramslay @openheart12 @candy72008 @bebepac @twinkle-320 @h3llostrang3r @lucy-268 @dcbbw @oofchoices @blackcoffee85 @anotherbeingsworld @walkerswhiskeygirl @twinkleallnight @trappedinfandoms @hopefulmoonobject @losingbraincellseveryday @god-save-the-keen

Drake woke to the sun streaming in through the windows of the master suite in Valtoria. Blinking to adjust to the harsh light, he noticed the drapes had been pulled open and a breeze flowed in through the French doors that had been left a jar. When he turned to reach for his wife, instead of her warm, soft skin, he found a ball of fur where their corgi Fletcher lay sleeping in Riley’s spot. Pulling on the pajama bottoms he had left folded at the bottom of the bed, Drake slowly made his way to the balcony, stretching the sleep from his body.

Outside, as he suspected, he found Riley already dressed for the day, curled up on the comfy outdoor sectional with her usual chai in hand. What he hadn’t expected to see was the chaos she was surrounded by.

In her lap sat a textbook and a notebook in which she was furiously writing notes. On either side of her where multiple binders with color coded tabs, bursting at the seams with papers spilling out. An empty mug, presumably from an earlier chai, sat on the table surrounded by dozens of post-it notes, fabric swatches, and paint samples.

Leaning down to clear himself a spot, he pressed a kiss to her forehead before she even looked up and realized he was there. Drake laughed as she jumped in surprise. “Morning, beautiful.”

“Good morning, Marshmallow,” she replied, finally looking up and giving him a smile.

“You’re up early.”

Riley sat down her pen and mug, and ran a gentle hand over her growing belly. “Bean decided to start kicking practice at the crack of dawn. I have so much to do, I figured I’d take advantage of the quiet.”

Drake lovingly placed his hand over hers and leaned down next to her belly. “You’re supposed to let Mommy sleep, Bean.”

Riley rolled her eyes playfully and ran her free hand affectionately through Drake’s hair as he kissed her belly. Drake had softened even more when they found out about the baby and it made Riley’s heart swell.

“So what’s all this?” he asked, sitting up gesturing to her organized chaos.

“Well...this,” she said patting the book in her lap, “is case study. I have a predictive memo due next week for my legal writing class. These binders are for duchy work...one is all the research for my tourism proposal that I have to get to Liam in the next day or so and the other is plans for the lantern festival that’s coming up.”

“And that mess?” he asked pointing to the table.

Riley laughed. “Random thoughts I’ve written down so I don’t forget...appointments, calls I need to make, baby names, nursery themes, plus some ideas for paint colors and design.”

“Hmmm, well, you are notoriously forgetful Nevin.”

“I blame the baby.”

“Shhhh, don’t listen to her Bean,” he said leaning back to her belly. “She was plenty forgetful before you came along.”

Riley playfully nudged Drake away. “Baby brain is a real thing, Drake!”

“Okay, okay...I believe you,” he said, holding his hands up in surrender.

“So...is there any chance you can help me with some of this? Maybe look over my tourism proposal or weigh in on nursery stuff. I’m starting to wish we knew if this little one was a he or she. I could design a kick-ass nursery in no time if I knew.”

“It’s not too late to find out, Nevin.”

“You know we can’t Drake. I’m sure Liam wouldn’t care but Bertrand...ugh, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard him say ‘One must follow all Royal protocol when one is carrying the Royal heir’. I almost recorded him to set it as my ringtone when he calls.”

“I don’t know how my sister puts up with him,” Drake said, shaking his head. “Anyway, I’ll help however I can when I get home but I have to head to the capitol. One of the mares at the palace stable is due to give birth and I have to be there as part of my clinical rotation.”

Riley sighed. “Who’s bright idea was it for both of us to go back to school while running a duchy and having a baby?”

“I believe it was your idea, Your Grace,” Drake jested as he stood up and bowed.

Riley swatted him on the ass. “You think you’re so funny.”

“Correction...I know I’m funny.” Drake leaned down and grabbed her pen and a stack of post- it’s, scribbling a quick note. “I’ve gotta go. But here is your top priority for the day.”

“Draaaakkke,” she whined, “I already have too much.”

“This will make it better.” Drake placed the note in her outstretched hand.

“Ask for help,” she read. “Drake, you know...”

“Yes...I know...I know you like to do everything yourself but you have Gladys and Hana here. Delegate and don’t try to be super woman; promise me.”

“Fine, I promise.”

After a quick shower, Drake threw on his scrubs and headed to the kitchen for coffee and a light breakfast to-go. Gladys was there conferring with one of the chefs and Drake took the opportunity to ask for her help with Riley’s to do list. Gladys was more than happy to offer assistance. With his coffee in hand, Drake grabbed his nap sack, tossed in an apple and one of the protein bars that Riley insisted were filling and waved on his way out the door. ——————————— Hours passed while Drake waited on the arrival of the foal. When he realized he wouldn’t be home for dinner, he had sent Riley a text. Judging by her brief reply, he was positive she was hard at work.

It was after 10 PM when he arrived home to find Gladys still in the kitchen. “Everything okay, Gladys? Shouldn’t you be off for the weekend by now?”

“I’m headed out now, sir. Just making some final notes on the lantern festival ball for the chefs.”

“So Riley let you help?”

Glady looked timidly toward the ground. “Well, sir...if by help you mean follow her around while she made plans and then handed me this completed binder, then yes...she let me help. I’m sorry, sir. I tried.”

“Don’t apologize. Where is she now?”

“She took supper in her study and has been there since.”

Drake thanked Gladys and saw her out before walking upstairs in search of his wife. Passing the nursery, he saw a soft glow of light and peeked inside. There were large bolts of fabrics all over the floor and 2x2 squares of 10 paint colors on the wall. Clearly Riley had been busy.

When he reached the study, he knocked and received no response; only the sound of her ‘thinking music’ playlist. He gently opened the door and saw Riley sound asleep with her head on the keyboard of her laptop. On her desk sat both her completed proposal and predictive memo. On the screen, there appeared to be a new proposal, half written before she nodded off. Drake rubbed gentle circles on her back and spoke softly not wanting to startle her; she was not pleasant to wake up.

“Mmm, Drake,” she groaned. “You’re home.”

“I am. Sorry it’s so late. So...should I even ask if you kept your promise?” Riley looked away without a word. “I figured as much.”

“I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t over do it, I promise. I just...I guess I nodded off because I’m a little stressed.”

“I have the cure for that,” Drake said with a seductive smile.

Riley grinned at him. “You think that’s the cure for everything.”

“Am I wrong?”

“When it comes to that?...no. You certainly know how to make me forget my troubles.”

“So let’s go...I’ll relieve that stress and pleasure you till you forget all about to do lists.”

“I want to...I do, just...let me finish this proposal I started and...”

Drake pressed his lips to hers, interrupting her excuses. “Nevin...this is too much, you’re gonna burn yourself out. When are you gonna stop trying to do it all?”

“Don’t stop until you’re proud,” she replied, noticing the look of confusion on Drake’s face. “That’s what my mom used to say to me and Drew; don’t stop until you’re proud. She knew we’d feel better from accomplishing something than we ever would from giving up.”

“Asking for help is not the same as giving up, Nevin. It’s just a shared accomplishment.”

“I know, but...”

“No buts,” he said, reaching around her to close the laptop. “This will all be here tomorrow.” Drake swept her into his arms with ease and carried her toward their room. “Right now, I’m gonna ravish you till you’re screaming my name and forget your own, because that makes me proud. I promise it will be much more satisfying than any proposal.”

#quote me on this challenge #trr #choices fanfic #drake walker #trr mc #drake x mc

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ja0-s-blank-canvas-fic · 3 years

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Chapter 54 - Sports Festival: Awards Ceremony

AO3 - here

Fanfiction.net - here

So...uh, I accidentally hit post on AO3? So you're getting this a day early? ^___^;

Thank you everyone for your comments last chapter! I was a little worried about writing a satisfying last match especially after the confrontation. I even had to take a break from writing that part to work on future parts just to refresh my brain from writing fights. Which helped a lot and let my mind stew on it in the back of my mind to come up with more ideas. And thus last chapter was born. So yay to y'all liking it! :D

With chapter 54 we finally have arrived at the award ceremony! :D We have quite a few pov changes this chapter. Parents, Heroes, students, and a Villain.

Warning for swearing for Bakugou and the Villain this chapter. Also warning for teasing near the end of the chapter. From "So...if we're best friends..." to just before "Hitoshi merely hummed in answer...".

Also, we got fanart!! :D I made a fanart section to the discord so if you make anything, please share! I will love any and all that you give me. ^____^ Anyway, thank you so much CyreneHime and Canon on discord for the arts! I've added the links to them in chapter 6.

Also also! I was looking through my sports festival pictures and decided to make a tumblr post of the various team flags the students made for the festival. I added the link to chapter 35. I did say I would make one for the team chants and I will but I'll need to go through my closet to find them.

Anyway! Check those out if you'd like and let's get on with the chapter! :D

Linktree to all the things!

End notes for the chapter are under the line.

Well that was an array of reactions. First off, good parent Inko and Hisashi being proud of their son. Second, the students being proud of their placement or mostly. Bakugou certainly isn't but his inner voice isn't going easy on him. I hope you liked my version of his reaction though 'cause the canon version where he's basically foaming at the mouth is just wrong. Calm the fuck down, explody boy. Third, Aizawa hates life and judgmental people and wants to yell at all the idiots. While Awkward Might is awkward. Fourth, Shiggy makes an appearance again and has shown interest in Izuku! Watch out broccoli boy! Handy man's got his eye on you. Fifth, the crowd. Gods that hurt to write. I don't want to but I feel that's how the world would react in this AU. Izuku is challenging long standing social norms in regards to quirks and power. He's got an uphill battle ahead of him but what else is new. Guess he'll just have to keep trying.

So Bakugou is very much still in trouble. Aizawa is keeping an eye on explody boy. And Izuku sort of tells Hitoshi what happened though more of a summary than anything. He's still feeling overwhelmed by the confrontation so doesn't want to talk about it. Hitoshi is a good bestie and hugs are just freaking necessary sometimes, ya know?

Just a reminder in regards to Present Mic announcing like that, back in chapter 34 that was what Izuku asked him to do. To wait until he either lost or won first place. :P

Fun Facts About Japan:

Once the sports festival is done, the students form into their groups before the podium and the judges. They do have judges that come to be unbiased in the points. I would guess people from another school or part of the Board of Education. Based on my experience serving as judge for the English speech contest the next city over at one point and that same city would send judges to watch our students. To be as fair as possible. Anyway, at the reveal of the winner, they like to be all dramatic about it. The schools will show the scores putting one number up at a time. During the entire festival, the points would be updated and reach the triple or even quadruple digits on the school's scoring system. For the final score, the schools I went to would put the ones place first followed by the tenths and then the thousandths place if there are multiple teams in the same thousandths or they will put the tenths place followed by the hundredths then thousandths if there is a clear winner. For example from one of my schools' reveal:

Blue: ---3, Yellow: ---6, Red: ---5, Orange: ---9 Blue: --83, Yellow: --36, Red: --35, Orange: --89 Blue: 1-83, Yellow: 1-36, Red: 1-35, Orange: 1-89 Blue: 1383, Yellow: 1336, Red: 1435, Orange: 1289

They really like building up the tension. XD Of course the winning team freaks out. The team leaders get presented a trophy by the principal along with a certificate. Typically when receiving anything anything in Japan, whether a certificate, business card, book, trophy, etc., you grasp it with both hands. I believe the right and then the left. Then both parties give a bow before the giver lets go and the receiver keeps it in their hands. If it's on a stage, the receiver would then turn around to the crowd and bow to them before leaving the stage. So there's an award for the winner of the sports festival but there is also an award for cheering. Whichever team showed the most spirit and enthusiasm in their cheers both during the cheering competition as well as from the sidelines during the events. So the cheering part is very important along with the events.

Once the awards are handed out and the principal, a few teachers, and the team leaders make speeches, the students get in their groups for group picture time. There are photographers there the entire time btw taking toooooons of pictures of the events and the students in general.

That's it for this chapter! This marks the official end of the sports festival arc (thank goodness), but not the end of this day. Izuku is just so busy all the time. Next chapter we have Izuku reflecting on what happened, best friend Mei, people being idiots, and friend times! ^___^ Until then, thanks for reading and report any typos or weirdness!

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parasighting · 3 years

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Top 20 albums of 2020

New place for Parasighting (here you can find the old blog), as it seems that Facebook and several social media platforms in general don’t very much agree with Blogger. Oh well, if we don’t change we die, isn’t that what they say? So, this will be the new place for posts from now on, including the Rodon Underground playlists (that is, if I manage to wrap my head fully around how Tumblr actually works). For now, and as a fitting starting post, here are the best 20 albums of 2020, always in my opinion and always in a mood for fisticuffs:

1. Fontaines D.C. - A Hero's Death

This normally shouldn’t come as a surprise, but it’s not like we haven’t had our fair share of scares in our lifetime when we’re dealing with a sophomore album following after an explosive debut. Last year’s Dogrel gave everyone what they wanted/expected, since basically it was, more or less, a gathering of all the great singles Fontaines D.C. had released in a 2-year period prior to that. As it seems, we are indeed dealing with an absolute gem of a band that, this time around, did anything but staying safe with an already tried-out and successful formula. Instead, they chose to give all weight to feeling, proving their songwriting genius at the same time. A Hero’s Death doesn’t contain intended typical radio hit songs (although it plays a lot on today’s radio, something hopeful for the music industry in general), instead it’s full of meaningful introvert compositions saturated in melody and atmosphere, while Fontaines D.C. themselves, despite their huge and abrupt success the last years, keep a low profile and support their material exemplary. This record is music history, and one to be mentioned for years or even decades from now in music in general.

Listen to A Hero’s Death

2. C.O.F.F.I.N. - Children Of Finland Fighting In Norway

Many have wondered about the air in Australia. Or the water. Or maybe it’s the crazy wildlife that makes one either to be on their toes all day or to “yolo” it like there’s no tomorrow. These lads right here sure seem to be the latter. It would be futile to try and get right now into the history of Australian music and what this country has offered the world, especially when it comes to garage/punk. So, it shouldn’t surprise us that C.O.F.F.I.N. have released this record this year but, then again, uncontainable excitement gets usually mistaken for surprise. It’s not that they had been under the radar or something until now, but Children of Finland Fighting in Norway is the flag all Turbojugends around the world should gather behind this year. This album is the Apocalypse Dudes of the band and, mind you, I’m not talking about copying Turbonegro or anything like that. I’m talking about the spontanity and the pure energy that is emitted here throughout. The band, although they surely step on the foundations of (especially the scandinavian) rock ‘n’ roll history, the final result can’t be mistaken with any other band. A look on the videos the band has put out will give you a total idea that here we’re dealing with original Aussie craziness, and that is something not to be messed with, if you ask me.

Listen to Children of Finland Fighting in Norway

3. Napalm Death - Throes Of Joy in The Jaws Of Defeatism

I don’t think that the name Napalm Death needs much introduction, even to those who have little contact with the extreme sound in general. Pioneers of hardcore punk, grindcore and so many sub-genres at their birth, they have been shaping much of the contemporary extreme music scene through the years. And, in order for this to be achieved, it couldn’t be without constant musical unrest and experimentation. Shane Embury & co returned in 2020 with their 16th album, in which they push their (and music’s in general) boundaries to new territories. Of course, this in no way means that it is a soft or mellow record, even for Napalm Death standards. Instead, the band incorporates even more diverse elements from bands that one could say have been their followers, only to prove once again that they are the true pioneers. Throes of Joy in the Jaws of Defeatism is a full record where something exciting happens each minute, and this is the chance for any listener that (maybe has been living in a cave up until now and) hasn’t yet captured the grandeur that a band like Napalm Death exhales.

Listen to Throes of Joy in the Jaws of Defeatism

4. All Them Witches - Nothing as the Ideal

What is “rock” anyway? If there was a faceless recipe, then everyone would be able to just follow the rules and do it. Instead, through the over-production in today’s music, it’s damn hard to find something original and spontaneous, as most bands can’t do anything better than copying a “recipe” or reverse-engineering their idols, at best. And this is why bands like All Them Witches shine brightly and justly from within the pile. Nothing as the Ideal elegantly showcases that this band basically carries a significant amount of all the weight of today’s rock music. Yes, they started off having been labeled as “stoner” or “desert” or whatever, but the signs were always there. Dying Surfer Meets His Maker was the first blast, but, with this one, All Them Witches establish themselves among the leaders. After all, how can you go wrong with a band that sounds better playing live than on their studio recordings?

Listen to Nothing as the Ideal

5. Hurula - Jehova

It’s safe to say that the name Robert Petersson is nothing short of a landmark when it comes to Swedish punk. Showcasing some fine moments of hardcore skate-punk with Epileptic Terror Attack, hardcore rock ‘n’ roll with Regulations, melodic punk with Masshysteri (among others), finally Hurula is his personal musical vehicle, where he is in absolute command of everything. And, although this is already his fourth full-length release and, thus, it’s not like we had no idea about the potential, Jehova proves to be his grand opus so far, in a sort of unexpected way. The general orchestration remains “rock”, but the multiple melodic layers all over make for a unique experience for the listener who is not limited within specific musical genres or styles. The Swedish lyrics throughout might make it a bit unaccessible to many, but don’t let this minor detail keep you from discovering an incredible record.

Listen to Jehova

6. Wailin Storms - Rattle

Wailin Storms are a “where had they been hiding up until now?” case. Although they released their debut album not before 2015, Rattle is already their fourth one, and what a kick in the head it was for me discovering them last year! Going through their discography in retrospect, one should not be surprised, of course. The North Carolina rockers always carried their certain and specific type of lyricism amid their heavy and, at times, almost noise/sludge guitars. Fitting all this alongside the mystical atmosphere and Justin Storms’ agonizing vocals, the speakers exhale a strangely attractive as well as condemning dark beauty through the speakers. Many things come to mind as to what one could say Wailin Storms sound like through their definitely personal identity; in my ears, it’s kind of like the Black Angels jamming with Unsane and smoking whatever Electric Wizard passed them through. If this doesn’t make you want to check out Rattle, I have no idea what could.

Listen to Rattle

7. The Hawkins - Silence Is A Bomb

All those that know me, also know what a huge sucker for swedish rock ‘n’ roll I am. But, ever since the great scandinavian rock ‘n’ roll revolution by Gods like the Hellacopters and Gluecifer started to happen, a lot of things have also happened in the meantime. Especially to the younger rockers, the aforementioned bands now carry a “classic rock” label, but then again that kind of makes sense if you were born around the years Supershitty to the Max! was released. Time for the new generation to show what they’re worth, then. Through the flood of copycat and mediocre bands (justifiably, in a way), luckily from time to time there will be one or two cases to stand out, and these four kids from Arboga, Sweden surely make the cut. Although their debut album three years back was definitely a beautifull high-energy record, Silence Is a Bomb is what adds a special kind of maturity in rock ‘n’ roll, while still maintaining its edge. The Hawkins take their Hellacopters, but they also add several doses of Queen in them, maybe making the final mix too soft for purists; but who cares about them anyway?

Listen to Silence Is a Bomb

8. Chubby & the Gang - Speed Kills

It feels like nothing short of a fresh breath of life, a feeling that there is still hope in this damn world, when debuts like this one right here appear out of nowhere. Chubby & the Gang are just some kids from West London who, with Speed Kills, give you, if not something else, a feeling that here we’ve struck pure gold. Carrying a hardcore tone, apart from that they’re just a bunch of absolutely fresh and fun punk rock ‘n’ rollers, and, if this is not exactly what we need these days, I just don’t know what is. With gang vocals throughout the whole record and with the average running track time below two minutes, this band has automatically climbed near the top of my bucket list of bands I want to see live at first chance.

Listen to Speed Kills

9. This Is Nowhere - Grim Pop

Plainly put: In a fair world, This Is Nowhere would be globally greeted as one of the greatest bands of today’s psychedelic heavy rock; and this is not an exaggeration. Then again, them being from Greece and their members being scattered in three different countries are not factors that objectively help. Even at that, it’s astonishing how they’ve obviously achieved a certain chemistry between them through the years in order to achieve such a feat, like Grim Pop definitely is. Their two previous albums contained a significant amount of all the mystical energy the band emits on stage, but, if you ask me, there was always something missing; something I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Well, with Grim Pop, it’s like everything is finally falling into place. This Is Nowhere have irrevocably and definitively left terms like “stoner” or “psychedelic rock” behind; instead they have unrepentantly dived into the ‘60s, distorted everything they found there through their personal prism and created an inviting sound vortex ready to suck you into its very own black hole. Who cares if we never return?

Listen to Grim Pop

10. Στράφι (Strafi) - Παραδομένοι στη Γιορτή (Paradomeni sti Giorti)

If you asked me some years back, I could never imagine myself including a street punk record in a yearly music list. I have to admit that Strafi being from my hometown Larissa played its role; but this role played a part only for me to take note of them. Because genre-wise, the band’s sophomore release is just perfect. Having gone over the somewhat general “shyness” of their beautiful debut album, here the band presents an absolutely confident and sturdy face. The sound production contains no faults, the compositions are meaningful and inspired, the lyrics carry a level of poetry rarely found in the genre (and yes, one would have to speak Greek in order to enjoy them, unfortunately for many). Really, this is one of the cases that there’s not much to be said, as music takes over all the talking. We need more music coming straight from the heart, and Strafi are here to deliver exactly this.

Listen to Παραδομένοι στη Γιορτή

11. Minerva Superduty - In Public

Another Greek entry, one that the world definitely has to discover. I find it a bit strange how Minerva Superduty started their discography, which was with an instrumental metal record that, amid its creativity, left the listener with a somewhat lack of closure and fullness. 2016′s Gorod Zero came to showcase a new potential for the band, and In Public, coming just days before last year’s end, fulfilled this potential to the fullest; well, until their next album, at least. Minerva Superduty merge their mathcore foundations with Converge-like hardcore and, under just 20 minutes, they deliver the absolute soundtrack for the chaos 2020 has left the world with. Do not let this gem pass by.

Listen to In Public

12. Yovel - Forthcoming Humanity

Blackmetal is a genre that has been through a lot. Of course, through its extremity, it has given way to experimentations that could never have taken place within other kinds of music but, on the other hand, this very extremity has always served as a twisted fortress for far-right and generally fascist ideologies. Yovel emerged in 2018 to rectify this problem and restore part of blackmetal’s infamy. Hɪðəˈtu had made clear of these intentions of the band, but Forthcoming Humanity drops like a milestone to declare that this was anything but a one-time wonder. Yovel take blackmetal forms and orchestrations but add atmospheric (not shoegazey) elements borrowed from folk music and create a concept album that speaks loudly against racism, fascism, bigotry, oppression. Interludes dressed with poetry and melody give place to wrecking sound outbursts and, if there is one thing they do, that’s passing on the message clearly and successfully. Yovel are here to stay, and that’s one encouraging thing about extreme music today.

Listen to Forthcoming Humanity

13. Oily Boys - Cro Memory Grin

Ahh Australia again. And a debut that has surely turned heads. Oily Boys come from Sydney and this is their hopeful debut, that being an understatement. This new band delivers an outburst of a record, bringing to mind New York hardcore at one time, taking you to sick psychedelic noise rock at the next. It all feels so cold and unhospitable in here, yet something urges you to look at it straight in the eyes. Of course, there are a lot of Converge elements in here, but this never stays in that place, as, before you know it, it jumps to post-punk and to other experimental lengths, always maintaining a chaos that may be baffling but, then again, you don’t exactly want for it to fall into order. Fans of Old Man Gloom will also find many things they like in here. Bizarre listen for bizarre times. It’s an uncomfortability we just cannot ignore.

Listen to Cro Memory Grin

14. The Good the Bad and the Zugly - Algorithm & Blues

The Norwegians with the funny and long name (one can only wonder after how many beers it was conceived) struck for the fourth time in 2020. Although their debut Anti-World Music in 2013 made an impact in the scene breathing Turbonegro with a hardcore twist, personally I can’t say the same for the next two albums; it always felt to me that something was amiss. Maybe it was that humor was taking over a bit too much or something. Mind you, the Good the Bad and the Zugly are not a joke band by any chance, but the playful sarcastic elements were always a basic ingredient in their overall sound. Coming on to Algorithm & Blues then, I think this time around thay have managed to balance it all out perfectly. With Ivar Nikolaisen being the lead vocalist of the mighty Kvelertak for a couple of years now, this might be a factor that has made the band mature compositionally. Algorithm & Blues is more melodic, more substantial, more sing-along-y, but it never loses its humorous charm, preserving the band’s identity. And with song titles like “Fuck the Police” and “The Kids Are Alt-Right”, you know they’re also on the right side.

Listen to Algorithm & Blues

15. Pallbearer - Forgotten Days

One of the most tired genres of extreme music is definitely doom metal. Ever since the “stoner” plague came into existence, the world has been saturated with kids that, discovering the pentatonic scale, thought they were the new messiahs drowning us in a sea of boredom. It was not all bad of course, but, having to surf through oceans of mediocrity in order to find something that stands out, can be quite tiresome. Pallbearer from Little Rock, Arkansas surely did stand out at the start of the last decade but I think it’s taken them a while to perfect their craft. Alas, Forgotten Days. The monster riff that starts off the opening title-track is more than enough to set the mood straight. Black Sabbath riffology, Candlemass atmospheres, even Electric Wizard and Cathedral hooks; all done in a modern manner breathing life into the genre which, with bands like Pallbearer, can look hopefully into the future. The incredible cover artwork and the lamentful lyrical themes revolving around family loss surely add to the big picture. This is the definite release of 2020 for doom fans.

Listen to Forgotten Days

16. Video Nasties - Dominion

Another debut of another band to definitely watch out for. Video Nasties from UK start off looking like they know exactly what they’re out for. The whole image is brought out from ‘80s horror video tapes and this is enhanced by the movie samples all over the place paying homage to John Carpenter. Musically, here we have some exceptional death/black ‘n’ roll, and what a pleasure it is when done right. Yes, the band takes a lot from Swedish melodic deathmetal but, to my relief, they surely sound like they detest metalcore and its sub-genres as much as I do. Dominion is an absolutely enjoyable record that flows beautifully, always maintaining its theme and atmosphere and calling for repeat plays. Fans of death, black, thrash and extreme genres in general will surely feel at home here. Sometimes it’s as simple as that.

Listen to Dominion

17. The Frights - Everything Seems Like Yesterday

The Frights from San Diego, California started in 2013 as garage surf punks carrying their own distinct feeling and melody. They were always enjoyable with the lyrical themes being more esoteric, something that set them apart from the usual stuff in the genre. At first, the songs of Everything Seems Like Yesterday were intended to be released by the band’s main man Mikey Carnevale as a solo effort, but something apparently changed his mind. Many were obviously surprised by this new acoustic direction the name Frights has taken, but, setting aside specific expectations, the best thing one has to do is appreciate the artistic worth independently. And how rewarded they’ll be doing that with this album! Everything Seems Like Yesterday is a beautiful introvert, substantial and entirely acoustic album, ideal to keep you company after a hangover or through many types of hard times. It’s one of those times that this type of quiet sounds just liberating.

Listen to Everything Seems Like Yesterday

18. Umbra Vitae - Shadow of Life

With Jacob Bannon from Converge and Jon Rice from Uncle Acid & the Deadbeats on board, here we’re dealing with nothing short of a super project. And especially when Bannon (apart from all his many other musical projects) decides to venture into death/black metal areas, this is absolutely something you don’t want to miss. Shadow of Life is anything but your average deahmetal fix, and it demands your undivided attention throughout. Explosive in its grim and dark temperament, and with stunning artwork dressing it perfectly, this is an album that grabs you by the throat. Not that you haven’t offered it willingly in the first place.

Listen to Shadow of Life

19. Idles - Ultra Mono

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for many years, there is no way that you’re ignorant on the Idles phenomenon. After Brutalism and Joy as an Act of Resistance, I don’t know what we all expected from them. It’s not the easiest task to surpass two albums that have set new standards in today’s punk music (”punk” being used as broadly as possible, as a term). And, to put it bluntly, Ultra Mono doesn’t do anything like that, like, it would be something impossible, especially so soon. Then again, Idles are a band just incapable of releasing a bad record and, although it didn’t make it to the top spots of 2020′s list, Ultra Mono is an Idles-trademarked sharp and edgy album (musically and politically) that preserves them at the top where they indicate to the rest of the world where music is going.

Listen to Ultra Mono

20. Protomartyr - Ultimate Success Today

Protomartyr from Detroit have always served their unique blend of post-punk. In Ultimate Success Today, they continue their gloomy journey in symphony with this dark world. Joe Casey, always carrying a Nick-Cave-like vibe in his tone, delivers his grim lyrics atop the heavy basslines, the strange drumbeats and the almost free-jazz saxophone. Always melancholic and dystopic, Protomartyr is the band this world needs and deserves.

Listen to Ultimate Success Today

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