#god i fuckign love this stupid ass show

[moodywyrm]

This is so mean(I’m sorry Abby) but imagine basketball!Abby doing some corny ass shit for chubby!reader’s attention like “babe this one’s for you(insert an unironic lip bite)” and the she fucking misses the hoop

this made me Cackle oh my god. ok this is what I mean when I say that u are no longer allowed to be in practice any sooner that 5 min before it's over. bc abby does goofy shit like this. it's so cute but unfortunately she does have to actually practice soooo.

just like, imagine, u show up to her practice in the early days of ur relationship and ur outfit is extra cute. a flouncy but tight lil baby blue dress n one of abby's big zip up hoodies, n she's Obsessed with how cute u look. u walk in and her eyes are immediately on u, narrowly missing getting hit by a ball she was supposed to catch. she runs over to u like "hi baby :]" all smiley n cute, giving u a big big hug, while her coach is like Anderson. Please. so she plops a kissy on ur forehead before letting u sit on the bleachers.

Nora passes her the ball and abby seizes the opportunity to be cheesy. so she whistles n calls ur name, winking at u before being like "This one's for you, pretty girl", acting all cocky n not looking at the hoop. she's sooo confident, thinking she's gonna get it, but she misses terribly n almost gets her coach and the entire team is cackling. n u can feel the heat clawing up ur neck, both in second hand embarrassment and how fuckign cute she is it's stupid. her coach is like. Anderson. and abby is like yup, yes ma'am, won't happen again. this is 100% the incident that leads to the 5min rule for u being at practice. she's such a fucking dork I love her

also! general question for any of my black readers/readers with darker skin! I try to avoid describing a physical blush but I still feel like the feeling of blushing is still relevant, and I usually describe that as heat crawling up ur neck. is that cool with y'all? bc like im brown but u can still see me blush, but I know that isn't the case with everyone. if I ever use 'flush' it's gonna be in the context of like a flush of heat that the reader would be feeling and not what can be Seen.

[your-local-uwu-artist]

mysterion design >:D

notes under the cut

-i'm imagining for this au everyone's middle school aged, so still like, kids, just a bit older

-ignore the fact that i fucked up the colors on all the text i SHOULD have had the colors shift between lines it helps legibility but i didn't fsr??? i'll figure that out in later art dw

-GOD THESE COLORS TOOK FOREVER the og colors are SUPER desaturated and also more on the pink side of purple but I prefer to use saturated colors and wanted to go more towards the blue side of purple (than the colors are closer to complimentary colors between mysterion and kenny)

-ended up going with a very soft look (rounded edges and ovals and softer lines) i was thinkng off of the batman inspo actually and thinking about that scene in the lego batman movie where the brick notes batmans design isn't very hero looking, i mean it is by western standards but like when i think of a good hero and symbol of justice and hope i think of twintaild magical girls with ultra frilly skirts and cute mascots and sparkles and stars everywhere but like.. i'm biased.... anyway I chose the softer lines to make him feel softer and instead relied any edgy vibes on the colors and body language rather than the shapes (i mean i still used triangles but yeah)

-I ended up not going with brown boots cause i didn't want to have to tie in another color, and i had the epic idea of the little question mark symbols on the soles of the shoes and the m logo on the ... toungue i think it's called?

-so I originally wasn't gonna show his hair but I thought it would help to balance the colors more as the white shorts felt too bright

-i didn't plan to post this or else i would've tried to better phrase all the writing lmao

-i went with rounded feet to make him feel like, floaty?

-one smaller challenge was keeping a short stature for kenny while still making him look like, menancing and powerful, another reason why i went with the graceful floaty feet, I also had the shorts flair out with that triangle shape like they do to emphasize and blend together the general shape of the body

-miiight have accidentally made him more androgynous~ my ass spent years studying and learning how to make characters appear masculine than said 'yeah no thankyou everyone is going to be at least a LITTLE bit pretty <3'

-ah look how nice and not over crowded the doodles are... yeah say goodbye to empty space cause Cartman/theCoon's completely lacks it. I like drawing fluffy animal ears and found the need to label all the drawings "furry" or "menance" so yeah

-i'm that one bitch that says fuck canon even canon doesn't give a shit bout canon so why should i? and never draws kenny with blue eyes, always either light brown or preferrable purple. mostly cause i feel blue + blonde is too basic and I find that the purple makes for a nicer contrast and overall pallete. Cause brown kinda just blends in, cause then his entire color scheme is all within the same hue range, but purple sticks out better + leaning into the magenta side of it looks great with orange

-petition for the southpark fan wiki to acknowledge how fuckign similar Mysterion and the mysterious mare do well are

-funfacts!! considered having the buckles be silver instead of gold (changed to balance with the blonde hair and tie back in the orange/yellow hues) considered having the inside of the cape be a lighter shade of purple either pulling in more pink or blue tinted shades, changed cause it made the overall color scheme to bright

-in case you were wondering 90% of my art has the same stupid level of thought put into it as posts i do add notes onto, I just figured most people don't want a ramble about shape launguage and colors on their silly blorbo fanart posts lmao. but if you find any of this interesting or heck if you ever have a ramble about your own art my inbox is always open~ i love getting to discuss drawing :D

[bi-demon-ium]

LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOO

s2 ep1 liveblog!!!

[voiceover comes on] HIMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sticky at the boatwright academy!!!! getting the appreciation and awe he deserves!!! also holy shit his voice sounds deeper

ALSO HILARIOUS MADGE IS LITERALLY SENDING THEM LETTERS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SCHOOL DAY AND EVERYONES JUST LIKE??? OKAY

also great job madge you’ve mastered the art of conveyance and round-trippery

wetherall farm! bittersweet for me

kate & milligan!!!!!!! also it looks like milligan might not have known about this scavenger hunt ahead of time lkghjfgh although im not sure its very funny if he just got the note and was like ADVENTURE????

CURTAIN’S STUPID ASS POSTER LMAO

also “family” 🥺

new theme!!! I mean new theme like. animation not song but like. ldkfjgldkfgj

im pausing to look at each one now and then switching it again

BRIEF THEME INTERLUDE:

mr benedict’s: a book with a space carved out for a safe, two portraits that are inverse blue/green and labeled NOT identical (dgfljdgfgh) the BOOK THRONE (and it’s got “ivanhoe” and the “katsuta precept” on it!! from last season!!) and then the plaid note they all just got—notably not green plaid—labelled MOST CERTAINLY NOT CALMING fghlkfjghfgh

CURTAIN HAS THE GOLF CARTA AND SFGLJDFGLKDJGDKFG AN APPLAUSE SIGN LABELLED “LOUDLY PLEASE” HES SUCH A LOSER (also the “NOT identical” portraits again!)

number two and rhonda both have worldly wisdom which is sweet but also rhonda has two different fluencies in language at least and also “arctic sailboat crew”?????

milligan has “dog man” and boots labelled “1.5 litres”????? also the multi tool 🥺 the little I watched muted earlier I remember him giving her the multi-tool 🥺

miss perumal has sciences and humanities (a good balance girl!) and what looks to be a handmade compass?? also the stolen motorcycle drove by f;ghgh

reynie having “apollo” gets me somehow

sticky with a euripdes quote lkfghjfgh but I mean “there’s safety in numbers” + comfortable being uncomfortable (ohhh) a room key (guess we know which room they have lmao) and playing cards labelled “high-opt counting (generally frowned upon)” dlfkgjdfgj sticky and co banned in vegas canon???

KATE HAS BUCKET AND LOCKPICK AND ALSO HER NEW BOOMERANG

ohhhhh constance has her own now instead of it being obviously separate….. but also it’s all arctic crew themed???????? and a bear<3

okay and now I just rewatched without pausing and man I missed the theme song<3

loving the new starry background tho I think that’s a ocol way to do it. wonder if s3 will have clouds or something

OKAY INTERLUDE OVER

god I want to punch curtain so bad

constance looks like she’s trying to explode him with her brain

OH WE’RE BLAMING DR GARRISON HUH?

okay the questions are: a) is she in on this and it’s part of the plan or did he just straight up take her shit and throw her under the bus? and b) is this, writing-wise, going to be an explanation for why dr. garrison just straight-up isn’t in this season, or is she going to show up again regardless?

GOD I WANT TO DESTROY CURTAIN SO BAD I WANT TO KILL HIM OH MY GOD

literally literally I want to kill him what the fuck

like partly bc it’s just UNFAIR which might be childish but like NO YOU DIDN’T DO THAT STOP but also because like. YOU. YOU LIAR. YOU FUCKIN LIAR YOU LITERALLY CAUSED THE EMERGENCY YOU SMUG LITTLE BITCH I HATE YOU IM EXPLODING YOU

his stupid fucking back cover photo seeing up close does not make him look any better

ridding the world of sadness objectively sounds bad actually

yes the ups and downs are what make us human that isn’t a naysayer thing what are you fuckign saying girl

like. sometimes being sad is good. what are you. what

that pointing is going to brainwash her somehow

his creepy ass face and her weird response yeah okay

I hate him and the close ups are making me uncomfortable

sir I hate you

it’s funny bc it’s like [close up of curtain] mm uncomfortable [close up of mr benedict] HIM!!!!!!!!!! <33333

oh constance was about to straight up destroy the tv lkgjflghjgh and rhonda just casually was like no <33

….dutch baby. dutch baby?

LDKFGJLKJ NUMBER TWO YOU DIDN’T RECOGNIZE HER VOICE IN FRENCH

“a character of my own. a gullible traveller” and rhonda’s face in response ldkfgjg

oh so here’s the logging thing!!! dlkfgjldkfgjdlfkj number two SCREAMING I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

oh mr benedict<3

IRRITABLE AND ANNOYING??? MAAM :(

the injustice of course hes hung up on the injustice

…..why do I have a feeling that abruptly cut off call is the last they’re going to hear from each in some time.

torn between two emotions: a) mr benedict………adorable…… the windswept corls thing…. b) second-hand embarrassment.

I mean here’s the thing I genuinely don’t think he’s just jealous (????? what????) I think it’s a) genuine concern that curtain is going to do something else dangerous (“we seem pretty safe” number two I love you but curtain is extremely terrible and everything about his current media presence screams suspicious and evil lkgjfgkhjfgh????) and b) less “I am jealous HE is getting attention not ME” and more like I was saying earlier just that. slightly childish like. but that’s. UNFAIR. not in a “*i* deserve the attention” but in a “he’s LYING and no one’s NOTICIED?? he’s just taking credit for things he didn’t do???” and part of it is “taking credit for things *I AND THE KIDS* DID DO” but like. I think it’s a lot more worry and also the injustice thing. and it is slightly childish but like. a) I get it. I mean. same. b) what’s that quote about children think the world should be better and are deeply mad that it isn’t, and they’re right

but also the fact hes apparently planning to just crash a symposium and tell everyone curtain is fake like that’ll work, especially considering thy’ve tried before, is.

im shriveling in my seat.

mr benedict please I love you and you are smarter than this

uh oh number two lsot him in the crowd that’s not good

not that it’s her fault but you know

milligans like. have you considered. a change of clothes????

kate please youre going on a (as far as you guys know) planned adventure you need clothing. what are you saying.

ohhhh the multi-tool…. for the bucket…… it’ s so thoughtful..

also “I don’t have room” that thing is tiny kate

and his [not changing tone at all] you fit a winch in there.

“I can take care of myself” accepting a multi tool is not . not taking care of yourself

also “additionally” kghjfglhfgh

and the whole “what if I got my own bucket. a pail, perhaps” dlgfjkfghh I know we’ve seen that but lmao

oh sticky’s boatwright friends…. I wonder how relevant they’ll end up being

ohhh miss perumal :) she is. pretty

oh…. reynie’s letters…….i get it Reynie i’m the same way

I love miss perumal so much

she gives good advice but is like but we can still wait

ah! constance’s terrifying smile

OH SHES PRACTICING FOR THEM……. OH……….. OHHHHHH

im perishing

I love the music playing

ohhhh she gives a small but real smile when she sees reynie outside….ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

everyone meeting again,,,,, AAAAAAAA…………….

and yeah everyone’s visibly older that’s so weird

GANGLY AND WEIRD THERE IT IS

“we’re all grown” “no. that’s not it” constance I love you

YES REYNIE HUG PLEASE

kate goes for the mildly painful high five instead

lfgkhjflkgh they’re like “you did explode the whisperer with your mind we have questions” she STILL HASN’T TOLD THEM

oh…… milligan’s whittling the “dog man” thing from his theme intro

DLKJFKG “….dog man?”

the montage of all of them working/studying(?)/playing together….ohh……

and now they’re lal on the couch where they first found out about everything (I think?) but this time constance is sitting with them, aprt of the team………

YEAH THAT PHONE CALL WAS THE LAST ONE FUCK I WAS RIGHT

if you really think that they’re not going to participate yall are crazy

also rhonda and milligan look so good……. shame they’re speaking in French

obviously we know, even if we hadn’t seen any trailers or promos, narratively it has to be curtain but it’d be very funny if this was just like. yea the mob in like. idk france or whatever gottem. hold on kids we gotta go blow up a warehouse full of cocaine

constnace abruptly hugging rhonda like that’s not deeply suspicious I love you constance you tricky little girl

is it me or does constance’s accent sound different

also again that entire post I made about constance’s reaction to this dlkjfghh

yeah reynie maybe that’s the prize. get invested!

so reynie is the one who suggests that this will get them to their last location! (although it’s not impossible constance also thought of this as mentioned in post)

have the adults. not thought about this? or will they?

“I crave the frontiers of human experience” constance I love you

THRE’S THE NAME AGAIN

“Rhyming is the lowest form of poetic expression” DON’T YOU LITERALLY DO RHYMING?

I love riddles<3

REYNIE EXPLAIN YOURSELF BEFORE JUST RUNNING OFF

oh so we’re not going to actually see them kidnapped they’re just. in the car now. lkgjfghh

OH YEAH SHOUTING “DRIVER” IS GOING TO WORK NICHOLAS I LOVE YOU IDIOT

AND HSEJ UST STARTS DOING IT TOO LOUDER WHEN HE GIVES UP FGLKHJGFHJFGH

helop I love them os much

shes just like [SCREAMING] [KICKS SEAT] and hes like [disgruntled pat pat]

AND PLEASE I know we already saw part of this but their expressions when the snacks come out,,,,,, his “oh. oh” and just befuddled bewilderment and her wide eyesl kdgjfkjhfgh

and that’s like fancy food, prepared food that probably requires refrigeration, it’s fresh,

(“pork rillette?” “no” “[chomps]”)

ohhh mr benedict is trying to convince himself this is some powerful benefactor who wants to help bc they are providing snacks. sir. I understand being an optimist but you are locked in a car

although to be fair that does happen in tv shows sometimes.

so who knows.

and also we don’t know how they got in the car were they knocked out, grabbed and shoved in, or did they call a taxi and then find they oculdn’t get out and were going the wrong way, like. what

number two’s skeptical expression DID HSE UJST BREAK OFF THE HANDLE LDKGJDLKGJDLGFKJFGH

“which dictionary though? benedict’s obsessed” lldfkgjdg

“a lot’s happened since you left, george [menacing smile] many dictionaries acquired” and he just looks kinda cowed ldkdgfjfgh

WOW THAT’S AL OT OF BOOKS

“I’ve never understood his shelving system” “there is no system” of course

NOTHINGNESS CLUB I LOVE THAT ACTUALLY THAT’S VERY FUNNY

oph reynie you are not. subtle. sir

I’m with him tho in that situation if I were in his shoes I’d be the same way

“what do you harvest? loneliness?” ldkjghfghh

OHHH UNEXPECTED HEART PUNCH

“just you and your father against the world” “kinda like you” “ha!” “what’s it like, having benedict for a dad?” “not dad, roommate”

respectful distance, intelligent conversation. I mean. high compliment from constance (remembering in s1 ep1 when they were like [horrified tone] you GAVE HER A ROOMMATE?)

but also shes gonna acknowledge hes her dad this season isn’t she

god I hope so anyway

“I ALLOW HIM TO BELIEVE HE IS GOOD AT CHESS” DLGJKGKLHJFHLKJFG I LOVE THEM OS MUCH PLEASE

constance consistently calling out kate dlkgjghfgh

also “YOU LIKE ME! YOU ADMITTED IT!” and constancebeing like :/

OH YOU’D LIKE MORE OBOKS ON THE FARM???? I KNOW MY COLLECTION SKEWS HEAVILY TOWARDS HISTORICAL THRILLERS,

 oh milligan I love you so much…. his deep suspicion/concern

I adore him please

also I know we’ve talked about itbut still not over his new style

constance continuing to call her out without even saying words

“no, now I’m just snooping” kgljfkfgh

a book in a book! hey this is the one from mr benedict’s opening theme!

ohh his handwriting

he had a gibberish book made an dprinted lkdjgffgh

stop flipping like that flip faster

also the overlays lkdjghlkfgjhfgh

“Very clear” “What does it mean” yeah

of course kate looks for the structural/physical answer

YEAH HE WOULD IF IT WAS A GIBBERISH BOOK

even kate is like let’s not desecrate a book

put the page back in

dlkgjfgk so she did just rip it out ofr no reason . love her

“george, as a young man, that is sad” dlfkgjfg I love you

“the point is, benedict knows you like … things nautical” “yeah we’ve talked about it a lot” YOU HAVE??? 🥺

ALSO his answering almost shy smile when kate says “he knew you’d know!” ohhh

also this is a pattern but still funny how everyone doesn’t even call him mr benedict they just straight up call him benedict

rhonda and and milligan and number two get first names come on

well. number two. is . questionable and technically so is milligan but . STIL

“EVERYBODYK NOWS THAT KATE” please constance

“I have faith” oh, reynie

they all agree!!!!!!!<3333333333

and rhonda and milligan unfortunately oblivious for now…..

oh is kate tempted to stay behind? she’s holding the note so reluctantly….

but of course these resourceful kids—OH NO THEY’RE BIENG WATCHED OH NO OH NO OH NO

I assume that’s the water polo team

ohh….. the shot of millign standing there with the curtains blowing right before rhonda screams MILLIGAN!

and mdlgkjgfhlkfjgh missp erumal’s “WHAT?!”

ohhh they don’t have the tickets dlfkgjdfg

“SHIP NOT BOAT” “stern haha” “what. OH”

obviously they’re too resourceful to not get on but very funny if rhonda milligan and missp erumal arrived in a panic to find them trying to get tickets desperately ldkghjfglhkgh

and they all take a page from constances book and stowaWAYUFSGKJDFGJ DLKGFJ CURTAINS DANCE SCNRENIORTHMYHODLSDFFG

help im in actual tears

this is not hyperbole there are literal tears in my eyes

WHAT IS THIS WHAT IS HE DOING

lkajlkjdlfkgjdlkfjg and someone walks in and he just keeps going

same energy as the master tbh

the smooth turn out of it when the guy calls l lkdfjglkdfjg

also mr benedict being like “well at least they’ve given a nice breakfast” and number two saying “how pleasant of him” HIM implying she already thinks this is curtain despite her being the one to imply everyone was probsbly fine earlier????

CURTAIN IN HIS STUPID LITTLE GOLF CART

oh she definitely didntk now they both reacted him with “OH GOD. OH NO. FUCK. AAAA” and her with immediately about to launch herself forward and fistfight him

actually would have been very funny if before anything even happened she just leaped forward and punched him in the nose

I mean there are no guards SUPER close by so presumably they could stop her from killing him but not from breaking his nose

BROTHER HE CALLED HIM BROTHER

“and your associate”

HE KEEPS CALLING HER THAT

“im not privy to your organizational flow chart” dlgkjflghjfg that’s her name dumbass

oh well that’s terrifying!

“I can’t wait to share that with you… I know that you’ll be…………… elated :)”

AH THERE THEY ARE!

rhonda noticing the suitcases lkgjfghfh

“they believed us” ohhhhh damn right they did! uh oh!

[defective-comics]

catching up to batman #900

SPOILERS FOR BATMAN 900

okay so like. this was really fucking cool and probably the best way you can handle a multiverse deal.

[ failsafe arc ]

story so far is that penguin framed batman for his death, activating a robot underneath wayne manor created to take out batman as a contingency. cool idea, batman of zur en arrh shows up, i like that dude and i like the way he's handled. he's like this mix of dkr batman and 60's batman.

thank god people don't write batman as the kind of person who views the people who help him as his soldiers anymore he LOVES his kids and his friends so much. he fights hard to protect them and that's clear in all of zdarsky's writing.

you may hate me for this. but i like batman falling from space and surviving, that's the kind of stupid shit i like in batman writing. the only thing i dont like about the story is failsafe taking over gotham, gotham got taken over like five thousand fucking times from that city of bane shit to joker war and to the stuff with peacekeeper-01 [ which that guy had a FUCKIGN cool design and i wish the magistrate had like... a bit more development time ]

but like, the final part of the story. that was written good... and then we get to the red mask arc.

[ red mask arc ]

batman got sent to a whole-ass different universe, one where bruce is gone and never became batman. this dude who owns his company is the alternate version of the joker but he's just a normal dude. gothams taken over again, but like it was already like this so i dont mind.

honestly this part of the story i liked too, the different status quo of batman villains being more like a hierarchy of a bigger organization worked out well for the story told. i liked seeing the alternate alfred being used to bridge an emotional resolve for bruce because, while it'd be easy to say "yeah there's a ton of alternate alfreds out there" he still lost his, and getting to talk to someone about it mutually is good.

but the part i REALLY liked was the second half of issue 135, holy fuckin christ that little multiverse bit was written with so much integrity. the fact that they bothered to write actual shit that made these appearances matter was good, seeing arkham batman, 60s batman, and dkr batman written as these helpful dudes with their own perspective of things. it was so good!

also jesus christ jorge jiminez can draw anything.

speaking of. this fucking batsuit.

this is my favorite batman design. a dark knight returns suit a bit thinner with blue reflections to it, and the 60's belt. it just, it just feels right which is something i haven't said about a batman design in so long.

anyway that was my unorganized thoughts on zdarsky's batman run so far. i hope you have a good day and make sure to read good comic books.

[autobot-ratchet]

MTMTE 17-19

MTMTE 17

“No cure for cybercrosis, but you can bet they've invented a million new ways to kill someone...” GOD. FUCKING. THE ABSOLUTE FUCKIGN STATE OF IT ALL I AM GOING TO CLAW MY OWN FACE OFF

“Not everyone's ready to give up on this- this very seductive idea that we're immortal,” he says while fiddling with his hands. Man he knew from the very beginning, huh, or at least had a feeling, even way back in issue one. Like sure, his hands were giving out, which meant the end of his career, but I think Ratchet knew his time in general was running out too. And getting Pharma's hands and being able to continue working never tricked him into thinking otherwise, just let him keep himself occupied while waiting it out

aaauufgdsjk Cyclonus is so upset... he likes Tailgate a lot but he can't bear to say it or to even properly express his grief...

Percy's smile is cute lmAO

Cyclonus is trying to give Tailgate a one-of-a-kind experience before his death...... aaaaAAAAAA........

to this day I am still so sad that Luna-1 igniting after Rodimus and Rung touched down on its surface was because of Rung and not Rodimus because I had so much fun with my “Rodimus knocked up the moon” jokes and it just doesn't hit the same with Rung lmfAO

“We could be looking at the next Optimus Prime or Ultra Magnus!” or the current Megatron, even

eyyy it's Dr. Giggles McChainsawhands

MTMTE 18

aww, Swerve considers Skids his best friend, they're both so cute

I love Swerve's big stupid blaster, I want a model of it for myself, where's that toy line, Hasbro

big fan of Cyclonus disobeying Rodimus's order not to engage with the decepticons alongside Whirl. Also a huge fan of Whirl asking Cyclonus if he wants to attack them with him as if he just invited him over for tea

love Rodimus cursing Tyrest out lmAO same buddy

God Pharma is so weird and gay at Ratchet lmfAO I said it before, I know it's actually pretty tragic how hard he fell off but also god. Look at this fuckin guy

I completely fucking forgot about Star Saber lmfAO

like. Pharma really did just remove Ratchet's head and spark from his body just for shits and giggles huh. I remember the first time I saw that panel with the reveal I thought Ratchet was dead for sure but nah, he's back to normal not much later and we just don't talk about the whole out-of-body experience ever again

love Rung subtly agitating Minimus until he snaps at him to test if he's actually Magnus, love that it works too lmAO

MTMTE 19

poor Magnus getting yelled at by Tyrest, it's not his fault the Lost Light is a disaster ship filled with a nonsense crew

Whirl was actually the first one to refer to Rodimus as Rodders lmAO I always remembered that as a Brainstorm thing

love Ratchet goading Pharma into putting him back in his body. He took him out of his body just to show off, why not have him put him back in, just to see if he can? 'course, it comes back to bite him in the ass but y'know

Whirl talking about how he doesn't get his claws replaced with hands because then the anger might fade and then he'd have no motivation is so fuckin real lmfAO I used to be so much more motivated than I am now and it was 100% out of rage and spite and lemme tell you, depression is starting to overpower the rage and spite and leave me not feeling much at all and it makes a big fuckin difference

aaaaaaaand rip Ambulon

eeeyyyyy it's the Circle of Light! Shame Drift got exiled right before we caught up with them lmAO man that still makes me sad, he was so excited to see them again...

YOU.

There's. Something to be said about Tyrest's bit about cold constructed bots being predisposed towards sin and that they'll eventually slip beyond god's reach, considering, y'know. Who he is lmfAO That's an entire post to be made in and of itself and I do not have to words or brainpower to make it right now but damn is this bit making me feel. something

and yknow what there's something even more to be said about Tyrest's new take on the law what with him being Who He Is. The whole concept of integration of religion into law (as in forcing the rules of your religion to be everyone's rules that they have to follow or be punished, regardless of whether they practice said religion or not) skeeves me the fuck out to begin with but this is. This is a lot lmfAOgfdhsjk a god not knowing he's a god but being a fanatical believer of god to the point of literal genocide is. It's something

[frogboyandzombieface]

Hey !!! I heard your bored , so am I :) I have a few questions for you , you can answer them if you want <3 ( I‘ll only ask stranger things questions I hope that’s ok )

Favorite season ?

Favorite characters ?

A scene you want to see in season 4 ?

Is Mike gay or Bi ( or straight ) ?

What season 4 storyline are you most excited to see ?

Favorite ships ?

Favorite quote?

Least favorite character ?

Least favorite ship ?

I can’t think of more questions right now lol sorry 🙈. Have a great day and stay safe!! 💗

HIII OH YM GOD THANK YOU!??? I LOVE YOU???? DHDHDHS 😭i did NOT expect to get this many ... yes of course it's totally fine non !! (that's my nickname for anons lolol) THANK UUU ok here we go

favourite season?

SEASON TWOOO BAYBEEEE i just LOVE THAT motherfucker . it's got the BEST 80's vibes and awesome soundtrack and THE BYLER!!!!😭😭😭😭and also MAX AND STEVE AND ALSO I LOVE PUNK EL I KNOW THAT THAT PART OF THE STORYLINE IS CONTROVERSIAL AND I AGREE IT HAS SOME ISSUES BUT I LOVE PUNK EL OKAY and i love her exploring her darker side and using her powers to get revenge but she too much of a sweetie to be like kali. she's an angel. i love el . adore her <3333 and the colour palettes and the scenes and GAH!! i just love season 2 okay. though season 1 is SUUUPER close because holy fuck that one is so beautiful and emotional especially with joyce and will being missing and learning about hoppers past and GOD !!!! just fuckign great. And I LOVE THE LITTLE KIDS THEYRE SO CUTE ! AND SO MUCH FUN!!! god i love it . season 2's my fav but s1 is So So close by like a sliver ...

favourite characters?

MAX . ROBIN. UHH WILL. DUSTIN. MIKE. uM .... csnt fucking decide oKAY 3)33&28/8922 i love them all!!! they're all my blorbos and i adore them with every bit of my tiny little pathetic gay heart !!!?2! THOUGH.... my fav FAVs are max will and robin. im not gonna chose they're all at the same level i love em thoigh robin maybe just a tiny bit less because we don't know as much about her yet , i get more attached the more we learn though i guarantee that when season 4 comes out and we get a bit more robin stuff (hopefully)... she will definitely be with max and will. I just love them. though I LOVE DUSTIN AND MIKE TOOO!!!! dustin is such a great character he's been such an awesome staple and the show definitely would be bad as hell without him. and i love mike because i LOVE HIS FUCKING STORY AND HIS CHARACYER ARc he's just my pathetic little sad gay repressed homosexual. this is probably not making sense im so sorry😭

a scene you want to see in season 4?

GOD. anything. i just want to see A SCENE . i am so desperate for content that i will literally take anYYYTHINGZZZ ... though we have gotten some new shit lately in the lead up to s4 but it's been like what?? 3 years since we've had new stuff ? or is it 4? no it's gotta be 3 .. im terrible ag maths. but tbh i reALLY REALLY want to see ronance content , el discovering herself and like finding more things she's happy about specifically a hobby, i really want her to have an interest in something because she's had like . literally NOTHING except like all her trauma or just interest in like . mike. lIKE WHAT DOES SHE LOVE OTHER THAN THAT?? can she paint? will she write ? like give me a hobby pls!!! 💀as max says there's more to life than stupid boys please let her flourish as an individual . but like dude .. there as so many scenes i wanna see and this is So long already and i think i will leave it there before i go on an incomprehensible annoying ass tangent thank u

is mike gay bi or straight ?

ohhhkay so this discourse i been seeing a lot lately . ummm ima be dead honest he seems to be more queercoded as gay rather than bisexual like .. he throws himself into a relationship with el and like yes he does show genuine interest at first and like im going off the top of my head but basically just read @beepboop358 's byler proof google slides. that will summarise my whole opinion on the whole thing tbh. BUT !! im not opposed to him being bi!!! we have no idea at this standpoint guys rememebr that ! mike has a long way to go in terms of accepting himself and coming to terms and discovery etc let's just see what the duffers are gonna do with it !!! :)) so im gonna say it can be either one but i am leaning slightly towards gay because of all the subtext .

what season 4 storyline r u most excited to see ?

ALL OF THEM !!!! literally all of them. god im so so fuckimg exicted we're gonna get CONTENT BAYBEEEE i been watching the same 3 seasons for what feels like a goddamn lifetime like PLS.. ima be a bit basic and say the pizza gang mainly because i wanna see byler develop (and it looks like they're really leaning into it now !! HOLY SHIT FHDHDJDJB!!!!! i been shipping them since 2017 and ppl thought it was like a crack ship my god we've come so far .. ) though also very excited to see the older teens storyline especially with eddie seeing what kinda character he is !!

favourite ships ?

ummm obviously byler 😭😭😭😭and also elmax GOD elmax ... and also lumax !!! fucking love them. but also ronance and stoncy and also byclair and henclair .... like so much. i love em all. AND HENDERHOP very cute <3 and hopclair!!! i just love them ALL and also steveddie even though we barely have any content yet but i have a feeling it's gonna be really fun :))

favourite quote ?

mmm this is a good question honestly !!! i really like jonathan's quote "you shouldn't like things just cause people tell you you're supposed to" i love that honestly . makes me very happy :)) but like .. also hoppers letter at the end of s3??? it just gets to my heart in a way i can't explain... like damn. i remembr first time i watched it i CRIED my eyes out like jesus but also. half the quotes from season 1 i love 'em . so many iconic bits in that season

least favourite character ?

lonnie and brenner . those cunts can go rot in hell 🥰

least favourite ship?

umm i don't know to be honest. i don't have a ship that i hate , well actually h*rringrove i DESPISE they can fuck off .. hate the billy / karen thing years are taken off my life ever time im forced to see it..

i don't like j*pper very much (but only season 3, im not about to get into it rn i cant be fucked though i don't hate it) j*ncy is eh and m*leven . i don't hate melvin but i don't think they right for each other same with j*ncy. but otherwise idk i don't hate that many ships .. there's not that many that get under my skin except i don't prefer it if they don't really have chemistry or have issues though not saying relationships can't ever have issues that's unrealistic ,

and ITS OKAY THATS PLENTLY OF QUESTIONS FJDJDJ and i hope u like my annoying long ass answers becaude i have so much shit to say !!! I HOPE YOU HAGE A GREAT DAY/NIGHT TOO ANON THANK U I LOVE U <3333

[crazygaysex]

incomprehensible conjecture and rambling about sunny/rcg under the cut! idk man I got 1 hour of sleep in the past 24 or wataver and my brain is an abandoned swamp Good Nigte

i certainly am not arguing that mac Absolutely Isnt a stereotype of a predatory gay man/self-hating homophobe or whatevr. i wont argue the homophobe one at all really,not great even if they rectified it and further tried to make up for it or whatever w mac finds his pride (which i love, regardless). but honestly i dont think the predatory complaint really makes a whole lot of legitimate sense considering every charatcer on the show is Extremely predatory in their own right. if he wasnt i’d be irritated to be honest. i do agree w wat mcelhenney said something like that its cool that they decided to acknowledge he was gay without changing him fundamentally as a person; he still needs to fit into the show or watever. like idk he’s not Ideal Gay Rep ofc but he’s awesome still. To Me. I like when character’s sexuality can be an improtant acknowledged facet of them but doesnt overtake the rest of te narrative! It never occurred to me that his behavior toward dennis would be seen as predatory ina stereotypical way seeing as how their relationship dynamic is so fckign bizarre. charlie has the same level of dogged cluelessness about the obj of his affection’s true feelings, so it didnt occur to me to see mac touching dennis’ knee or stuff of that variety as being any different ig or as making fun of queers or watevr. if i am wrong/misunderstanding i apologize. i have never considered mac from that perspective before.

honestly i kinda get the complaints. i’ve never rly thought rcg all have 10000% pure intentions with the insensitive kind of humor they are into, no matter their loophole justifications for shit. sometimes i almost believe their reasoning and do basically understand but it still seems flimsy when you considers stuff like the blackface stuff which is indeed kind of funny at times mainly bc the joke is the absurdity of it all, like mac in the shower with the brown dripping off him like he’s melting; it’s not funny at the expense of black ppl but more so at the expense of how goddam stupid and unaware mac is. i havent seen the blackface/brownface ones in years sos i dont have a whole lot to say excepe they seemed to be clearly against using blackface as the moral while still using it to get laughs. so. really honestly i don’t know that it’s Liderally Ever edgy white people’s call to use something like blackface regardless of context, regardless of their obvious intent? i dunno i have tried to find Black ppls opinions online a couple times but struggled to find any tangible results. the only other thing i have to say with ym white person words is that i think it’s stupid that the streamig companies take down all insensitive episodes like theyre trying to brush them under the rug and pretend it never happened in wake of a changing political climate. i get it, but kinda just seems like corporate scrambling ie disney getting ridof all of song of the south but still profiting from splash mountain eprhaps. something seems dodgy to me about pretending it doesnt exist anymore just to cover their asses. i understand the sentiment i guess but i dont think that’s really the main goal of the BLM movement, to purge streaming services of any questionable/racially insensitive/Fully Racist material; there’s surely more important things at the top of the lists besids Good Branding . im not sure if that makes sense

also a lot of episodes the joke is the blatant but somehow woefully oblivious homoerotic overtones present between the guys, like a Lot of the time. it is very funny though is the thing and a lot of thm are my favorites. i dunno. i also thought hte pooping transgender bit was pretty funny mainly cause it was absurd. i think maybe because i have my own what i think are reaosnable and empathetic views about certain stuff like queer shit it doesnt necessarily occur to me that they are trying to make fun of queer people.. like people make fun of conservative fans for having completely missed the point of it all being satire, and wat if i am being tricked to into assuming rcg has kind intentions and isnt trying to make fun of queer people just cause the thought didnt occur to me? instead of taking all the gay subtext serious- WHICh i Do, i should probably be more aware that to rcg it is just a bit and not really that deep. but mac and dennis were totally fucjing in s5 canonically. anwyays like aside from the carmen shit which is handled So Fuckign Bad and it makes me so upset cause i actually love carmen they were just very clearly not bothered with actually representing trans people accurately. so in the bathroom one if even fuckin dee reynolds is like, saying a trans woman in a woman’s bathroom is obviously normal.. it seems like they’d rectified some of their previous Very flawed rhetoric surrounding trans women (ie the whole “u slept with me when i was still a man” line. makes me cringe a bit ebery time)u get wat i mean?? not that it atones for it obviously. i love carmen she desreved better

butreallt i dont have any like. Pure Faith in rcg to be super accountable or honest about their intentions or to have the most accurate or agreeable beliefs or whataver. theyre just fucking about really because they can without any lashback. and people i think like being able to laugh at offensive shit thru scenarios which supposedly distance you from bigots/evil people and make u feel better about yourself watching these dumbass evil people talk slime. when like. glenn yelling supposedly arabic-sounding gibberish for example: it is funny in this context not just cause it’s wildly inappropriate and absurd but also because there’s prob significant amt of people who actually dont have an issue with it who could watch it and not have that takeaway whatsoever. i dont kno wt im talking about anymore btu honestly if youre trying to watch a show that isnt rife throughout with controversial/offensive/insensitive language and story beats, i dont know why you would try to stomach it with sunny. like for gods sake they used blackface more than once! i dunno man

[cassyapper]

Apart from Jotaro and Kakyoin (unfortunately) what are your other favourite jojo ships? I’d love to know

OHHHH POST YOUVE OPENED A CAN OF FUCKING WORMS LET ME GO OFF

i have a disease that makes me invested in the joestars’ happiness to an absurd level so bc of that a lot of ships i enjoy involve,,,one joestar,,,but there r others i swear let me just start rantingi

jonaeriwagon is soooooo so so cute it involves the most wholesome and purehearted jojo characters and it makes me smile so wide. erina and jonathan r childhood sweethearts and erina helped jonathan back on his feet after he lost EVERYTHING in the first fight against dio at the mansion. jonathan and speedwagon are best FRIENDS OKAY!! SPEEDWAGON LITERALLY CHANGES HIS ENTIRE WALK OF LIFE BECAUSE OF JONATHAN AND THE KINDNESS HE SHOWED HIM. i know erina and speedwagon didn't interact a whole lot in part 1 but like they're BEST. FRIENDS. in part 2, so much so joseph thought something was going on between them. i bring this up bc then it’s proof that this ship is full of ppl who just care for each other so much. they just adore each other and love each other and I'm crying

caejoseq is my FAVVV OKAY they're so stupid and in love. i love love love love imagining caesar and suziq falling in love slowly when he’s first training as lisalisa’s student and like they never do anything about it cause they're both so shy (yes caesar is shy bc these feelings r more genuine romance rather than sexual, unlike his other flings) but it’s obvious enough they both understand to a degree the other knows they like them sjkd;dn cuties. but then JOSEPH BARGES IN with his stupid hamon-breathing mask and his stupid blue-green eyes and his stupid lax personality combined with the moments he takes thing seriously during which is works hard as fuck/smart as fuck. he just completely sweeps them off their feet they had no fuckin warning whatsoever. so after a bunch of messy and intense pining from the both of them they eventually sit down and are like okay. we should do smth about feelings actually. so they Do and it ends with the polycule and I'm (”: smiling so wide they loved each other do u understand

AVPOL!! DO NOT GET ME STARTED OKAY it’s the survivor’s guilt and cherishing and longing for me sis!!!!!! I'm just saying both have pasts (araki said avdol’s backstory was so sad he didn't wanna put it into sdc so that’s where I'm drawing this from) that leave them focused on things other than their direct happiness/their own futures but then they connect and even though they're so fucking different they are SOOO different they're still the same on this level and i think!!! that would be everything for them finally someone who understands...listen I'm ging to go insane do you hear me. avdol loves this stupid fucking Frenchman so much because said stupid fucking Frenchman just cares so much about everything. meanwhile polnareff is in love with this fuckin god of a man who’s patient and kind and funny and a skilled enough fighter it’s stated explicitly in canon “oh avdol’s the one we need to worry about most not jotaro” like fuck polnareff is ENAMOURED WITH HIM!! AND I DONT FUCKING BLAME HIM!! and just dude. when pol thinks avdol came back to life and he starts crying tears of joy and hugs him so tightly and avdol just laughs but hugs him back imfmfjfj help. help. help. help. help. POLNAREFF LITERALLY ASKS HIM OUT ON A DATE THIS IS FUCKIN!!! CANON!!! i cant do this stupid fuckign idiots i love them

JOSUYASU!!!!!! TWO GUYS BEIGN DUDES WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT??? like listen we have such a SLEW of wholesome moments between these two the opening to the tonio episode is literally just them going on a date OKUYASU WAS GONNA FEED JOSUKE AND JOSUKE DIDNT EVEN FUCKING QUESTION IT OKAY THAT’S KINDA GAY THAT HAS ROMANTIC FUCKING UNDERTONES!! and them fighting against shigechi idk man i just love their dynamic it’s such a pleasant bro relationship and i love them. but even beyond the wholesome moments when okuyasu fucking dies josuke loses his SHIT!!! DO YOU HEAR ME HE GOES FUCKIGN INSANE!!!!! HE’S SCREAMING AND CRYING AND BEGGING OKUYASU TO WAKE UP AT THE EXPENSE OF HIS LIFE FUCKIGN HAYATO HAD TO SHRIEK AT HIM TO MOVE HIS ASS OUT OF THE WAY OF KIRA’S BOMB LIKE!! listen the recklessness and furiousness of josuke’s tactics after okuyasu “”died”” haunts me. he didn't want to live in a world without him and meanwhile okuyaus LITERALLY TRIUMPHS OVER DEATH BECAUSE HE DOESNT WANT TO LEAVE JOSUKE’S SIDE HELP ME GIRL FJKF;NDJN FUCK. fuck. so yeah i lvoe them

fugionara... any combination of this ship makes me go nuts okay okay. the dynamics in the bucci gang will forever leave me in tatters but THE ONES BETWEEN THESE THREE IN PARTICULAR. FUCK ME UP. it’s the healing it’s the animosity it’s the regret it’s the trying to figure out your own mentally ill self while also the world ur in with these ppl u love so much and I'm going crazy okay okay okay. idk how to quite put my feelings for them in worlds i just have a lot of them and they are fuckin. overhwelming. just narancia for example meant EVERYTHING to fugo as evidence by purple haze feedback (literally every other paragraph is a flashback) and the only time giorno cries in the anime is when narancia dies. meanwhile fugo saved narancia’s life and giorno knew when to take narancia seriously as opposed to a joke. and then THE WHOLE DISCUSSION ABOUT GRIEF FUGO AND GIORNO HAVE IN PURPLE HAZE FEEDBACK? listen something about these three make me go insane and feral

foolymes like okay. okay. I'm shaking like a dog trying not to go overboard on this justification just listen to me. hermes and jolyne first find someone to trust in prison in each other. jolyne cares abt her enough that she first learns how to use stone free’s string-on-a-telephone ability bc she wanted to watch over hermes. hermes loves nd respects jolyne that after she wakes up from getting a stand shes like “hm. wonder where jolyne is” and goes to find her before all that bullshit happened just hey okay LISTEN TO ME!! and then they get foo they save her it’s just like fucking kakyoin they give her another chance and they show her what relationships are supposed to be like (fulfilling) they enjoy her company and make her laugh and she makes them laugh in return ohmy god EVERYTHING FOO FIGHTERS DID WAS FOR JOLYNE AND HERMES DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!!! the marilyn mansion debt collector arc. the kiss of love and revenge arc. foo fighter’s death. I'm going to eat rocks in an attempt to stop feeling oh my god JOLYNE DIDNT EVEN BELEIVE FOO FIGHTERS WAS DYING AND THEN SHE GOT HYSTERICAL LIKE “BUT WE CAN JUST REMAKE YOU RIGHT WE HAVE YOUR STAND DISC??” SHE DOESNT WANT HER TO GOOO HELP ME HELP ME. I'm in tatters these three girls loved each other so fucking much they just wanted each other safe and they DESERVED to be safe and happy together but araki is fucking evil

jotaweather I KNOW THIS IS A CRACK SHIP I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW DONT FUCKIGN LOOK AT ME JUST HEAR ME OUT. jotaro and weather r both of similar demeanor that is quiet soft-speaking intimidating strong big aura of sadness coming from them. both have powerful stands and both had real fucked up luck in the love department. i also hc both to be autistic so that’d be another similarity. i jus think them settling down together after everything went down in a stone ocean au would be very soft and sweet yknow? they wouldn't even necessarily start it off in a romantic sense but they just take the time to try and heal with each other and eventually it just kinda veers that way. yeah

gyjo for OBVIOUS reasons like are you serious? gyro changed johnny’s fucking lfie from the SECOND they first interact johnny begins to push himself and tries to reach further/go further. and in turn johnny shows gyro you cant always be a wet blanket you need to take a stand this both helps his resolve to save the kid AND helps him to take the measures necessary to get to his goal. like gyro would not have been able to find johnny in the “who shot johnny joestar?” arc if he hadn't gone through, say, the ring roadagain arc with johnny first. listen man their relationship is literally the catalyst for this whole part it’s the driving force i just. they love each other they love each other thank you goodnight I'm emo

yasugap is just so so so so sweet it makes me so happy,,like okay josuk8 literally has a daydream where all that happens is he gives yasuho some candy and she eats it and is like “aw josuke this is so good thanks!” and she smiles at him and that’s IT THAT’S THE DAYDREAM 😭 listen they just love each other so much and i am emo. they literally SAVED EACH OTHER OKAY LIKE yasuho pulls him from the dirt and like she mentioned during the flashback chapter with the hairpin and her dad, it was also the other way around....saving josuke also saved herself and just LISTEN TO ME. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. it’s a very sweet and healthy relationship and i hope to god araki makes it canon please sir ill bite you

anyway yeah these are the main main ones ? that i ship ship. like you'll get me excited if u mention them. anyway this post has gone on long enough so I'm gonna end it here by saying i really do have a thing where the relationship focuses on healing/helping one or both parties to save/improve themselves

[narcosmx]

narcos mexico: love language head cannons

a/n: I NEEDED SOMETHING SOFT OKAY i’m soft at heart and this made me happy to write because being fluffy is my life okay kill me i apologize for bothering you all with ths 

amado: 

i chose recieving gifts for amado because that focuses a lot on being thoughtful and gestures and i just amado.... 

even though i have devolved into like writing him as a fucking DADDY who will constantly rearrange his guts, i still stand by the fact that he would be so fucking whipped for his girl and he’s not afraid to show it 

he’s never going to forget an important day, he’s never going to make you feel like you’re underappreciated 

just gestures are everything for him 

he hasn’t been home for a while, fuck it we’re going on a trip and he can fly you out in his little avioneta and he probably has everything fucking set up already 

i’m just imagining this little like sunset dinner on a hillside where he has dinner and wine waiting for you and why am i doing this to myself 

would be one to splurge on whatever the fuck you want and whatever the fuck you want to do

like you want to go try this new restaurant in butt fuck who knows where, amado is there for it

you’ve always wanted to go snorkling or some shit, amado’s taking you 

he remembers these things about you and like keeps them in his back pocket for later 

and if you remember something about him oof it’s over for him like i just remembering how he takes his coffee and looking at you with this little smile like “mira nomas mi mujer hermosha”

always showing up with flowers and chocolate for you; exactly the way you like it because he remembers every fucking little detail 

miguel 

miguel’s love language would be quality time with focus on giving undivided attention 

he knows that the time that he gets to spend with you is few and far between so he has to do fucking everything to make sure that the time is well spent???

like i just have this feel of like when he notices you really need him, he tells all of his men to leave him alone just miguel standing there like ‘no quiero oir de nadien, no quiero ver a nadien, se arreglan solo cabrones’ and giving them the fucking look™️

i just him coming to find you and being like, craddling you and sitting on the couch and having you settled in his lap

pushing your hair out of your of your face and placing it behind your ear and kissing your forehead gently

asking you what’s wrong in this cooing tone and just !!! eye contact !!! he wants you to know that hes truly there with you; not just physically but he’s emotionally spending this time with you i am crying

long walks out in sinaloa, like holding hands or with his arm wrapped around you and quiet whispers, him kissing the back of your hand constantly

like i can see you prompting that like, he’s freaking the fuck out about something and just as he’s starting to rage you’re like sabes que vamonos a caminar and i just 

chapo/palma 

so imma fucking do these two together because they give me the same vibes and their love language would be acts of service as fuck

so acts of service focus on “easing a burden” and i swear these men would make it their live’s mission to make your life as easy as possible 

they make you a fucking priority, they are the ones that if you need them without question they are dropping shit and coming to get you 

any responsibility they can take on for you and you let them oof they will jump on that shit immediately 

bringing in the groceries and they’re like NO NO NO MI REINA YO TE AYUDO and by ayudo he means you’re not lifting a finger again like... actually become playfully offended if you bring your own groceries in 

“amor, mi carr-” dont even have to finish the fucking sentence they’re already up and out to look at it 

“me haces un favorcito” and there is no way that the answer to it is no; no matter what comes after it, they will be like FUCKING YE S!!!

is it the stupidest thing like can you go get me my favorite ice cream bebe and um yeah they’re already gone 

and you doing acts of service for them has them falling in love with you all over again 

like could you imagine, you wake up early to make him breakfast because you know he’s going to go somewhere important and is leaving earlier than usual

and like he comes into the kitchen and you give them a little sleepy smile in your pjs as you serve them breakfast they would be d y i n g 

“no, bebe, no mi amor hermosa” in like disbelief as they come to pick you up and kiss you i’m not okay

TAKING THEM LONCHESITO AT WORK ALERT BECAUSE EVERYONE SEEING YOU’RE WILLING TO GO OUT OF YOUR WAY FOR THEM FUCKING OOF

ramon: 

this man is a literal motherfucking baby so he needs all the love but if i had to pin point a specific one for him it would be words of affirmation 

words of affirmation focuses on words that build security in the relationship and god is that what ramon fucking needs

the amount of times that you need to grab his face and probably bring him down to face you because he’s a tol bby and tell him that he’s doing enough fucking wow 

the amount of times you have to reassure him that’s he’s not just the stupid ass younger brother 

celebrating when he doesn’t fuckign do a pendejada or when he doesn’t go rage and kill someone 

but another reason i chose this one for him is because it also involves bragging and like building someone up in public and dear god ramon would never fucking stop talking about you 

if you did anything for him he’s telling everyone he encounters for the next four years about “mi novia es un angel, pinshi chulada que me cuida”

god forbid you dress up because he’s out here GASSING YOU UP about how gorgeous you look

benjamin: 

🥺 THIS MAKES ME SO FUCKING EMO NO ONE FUCKING LOOK AT ME BUT BENJAMIN’S LOVE LANGUAGE IS PHYSICAL TOUCH .... HE JUST WANTS TO KNOW THAT THERE’S SOMEONE WHO IS THERE FOR HIM AND HE CAN RELY TO LOVE ON HIM REGARSLESS OF THE CHOICES HE’S MADE 

and the way he knows you’re there is having that physical contact with you 

when he’s really going through it, you’re never out of his reach; he needs to be holding your hand, have his arm wrapped around you, 

i just how would you cure a sad or grumpy min?? literally just put your hand on his shoulder or like grab at his arm and he’s already instantly calming down 

just pouting at him with arms open and grabby hands for him to come hug you and he’s literally melting in your arms

holding benjamin, just the idea of it has me crying in the club like 

it could be when you’re hugging him and he is like leaning on your, and he’s putting his head in your neck and you’re just holding his head and rubbing his back as you like sh sh sh him 

or in bed like you’re in bed when he comes home and he’s visibly not okay so just reaching out your hand for him and him curling up to your chest

and benjamin being physically affectionate towards you like he doesn’t even have to think about it 

he can’t leave the house without giving you a goodbye kiss, it’s physically impossible for him to leave

whenever you come to see him, he’s automatically moving from wherever he is and moving beside you

just him bringing you into his chest and kissing the top of his head

likes standing with you having your arms wrapped around his torso i 

rafa

mi bebe you see also recieving gifts but another vibe to it 

he’s the one that buys you little things from wherever he’s been like coming home with twice as much shit as he left with 

and him being like “es que esto me hizo pensar en como...” and listing off all these stupid little things and how they made him think of you 

like this dude would be like but this is the color dress you were wearing on like your 3rd date 

this is the album that has that one song that we fucked to that one night in ensenada, no not that time the other time 

he’s such a fucking emo he would be the one writing you fucking love letters to send home and even when everyone else is shitting on him for it, he’s still there writing away about how much he missed you

the guys are like “la puedes llamar pendejo???” and he’s like “ ES QUE NO ENTIENDED CABRONES “ and him getting all fucking poetico 

could you imagine leaving him little notes for him to find; like in his shirts or in his car or literally anywhere

and when he finds it he goes so fucking heart eyes and never lets it go

will read it so many times he fucking memorizes it, keeps it with him at all times like he has a collection of all the notes you’ve ever written him i am 

[misterbitches]

i had the misfortune of finally watching/getting through what happened in whatever episode where he gets raped so im gonna talk about it and tag it cos that's what a bitch fuckin feels like, got it? i do what i want aint no limit bad ass bitch aint never been timid. woopsie realized i got the nicknames confused oh well lmao

it's just logistically and plot wise like there's literal plot holes in this and i'm taking the production and set-up into account along with the actual content and development. im an ARTIST OKAY im jk i mean i am and i am pretentious and terrible but look. i didnt get that degree and im not in a house worth of debt for nothing ok. it's called writing on tumblr about my grievances of shows that dont matter and do not respect me as a fat black american woman either so it is my fault yet here i am.

anyway it was worse than i imagined and their talk after (with chengren) was even worse. that's what i mean about making the lines their own (the actors) bc teng teng sounded like a straight up motherfucking moron and im like

bECAUSE IT'S HIM EVEN THO IM LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DID U JUST SAY U STUPID BITCH? but then it's like awwww and they also care about his wellbeing obviously??? but no? but it's like ok still teng teng said it even if it's stupid because he is a character and charles puts that forth. the people that fail the most to do that are xing si's family but that's not the actors fault because it's the literal material. you're like wait what but you just said...?

so i know they have no script editors i guess i think i find this season ACTUALLY fascinating because of just how egregious it is. i also went back and watched history: obsessed which i thought i liked because of their chemistry even though god the production....but i tried rewatching it and i was like wow this is worse than i remembered and the production issues were even worse because some of the music was SO LOUD AND BAD HOLY FUCK and their whole rship isssssss a sight to behold lmao

so man i guess it really is the power of anson/charles. which is good cos we love to see it...sort of but also a lot.

i honestly....because i've been able to pay attn more to the aftermath of the rape going back and putting it into more context and focusing (just barely lmao) is hm even worse. the inconsistencies are insane. it's not even just about the act but the writers have zero idea where they are going because they have no interest in exploring it. but the way in which it happens is like fascinating. yong jie literally thinks he owns xing si and it doesn't matter if he was kissing him or not or asked for a kiss on the lips (which dude what the fuck? i'll get to that) because he was plied with "extremely strong drinks" and his mom knew about it....which girl congrats you're an accomplice to the rape of your son by your other son?

but first of all...the kissing thing. in what fucking world would he (xing si) want that unless he thought he (yong jie) was someone else. i can't say their attraction is evident because we are being lead by this team to think so; they create this false sense of sensuality already so to me that signifies that they never intended for them to have a bond as brothers. it just feels cheap and fucking lazy (which it is.) even if he did, which doesn't make sense considering the context THEY CONSTRUCTED, it wouldn't matter because he was so fucking drunk which.... at that point nothing is fun, you feel sick, who wants sex like that? does he not have whiskey dick? did they have a condom? was it not painful for him considering? even if this was something to easily get over like was the dick good? it couldn't have been. and then, on top of that, there's the fact that you can change your mind or whatever but also that people do get aroused in these situations bc it is human nature (that's if they can literally get aroused which if the drinks were allegedly sooooo strong that nigga would be out so....again like even practically here it doesnt add up. have these people ever been drunk? if not, write what you know girl. cos sometimes it's like i think some of u r trying to be cool when u dont have 2 b lmao)

so yong jie coming on to him previously may be seen as like push-and-pull but here's the thing. right after it happens (the rape and it's rape so call it that you'll be okay) xing si gets up and goes home and is terrified and upset. he acts like what we have seen or even felt after a violation. he's scared, clutching his bag, it's like...you know...decently coming off as truly distressing (the actor isn't bad at all and i like that he's dark. i just massively hate this for him but hey at least he can show some chops.) like honestly man that fucking sucks and hurts to see. if we've been there we feel it. or part of it is realizing belatedly what happened. a lot of times that drop in your stomach is the worst.

but somehow for some reason, to which i cannot understand, the three of them begin to talk as if xing si pressured him? which maybe i missed something and that is possible—dont feel like going back to look—but that also made no sense. like what kind of false memory is this? why would he think he wasn't willing? and if he thought yong jie wasn't and that he pressured him how does he remember like...anything about the sex?!?!??!? besides waking up and being with him. like i guess he felt yong jie's MASSIVE DONG imprint but ??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!!!!!

god then the logic of the top/bottom thing is like i said i wasnt going to get into it but it's actually really funny. this whole thing was hilarious. honestly because I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS. he could have totally raped him in that way but how did you get to this CONCLUSION FROM THAT??????? BY YOUR LOGIC THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS? IF HE IS THE BOTTOM AND PENETRATION IS THE ONLY FORM OF TRUE CONSUMMATION AND RAPE BECAUSE APPARENTLY, BASED ON ANATOMY, IF YOU HAVE A DICK IN UR BUTT UR A GIRL THEN HOW. DOES. THIS. MAKE. SENSE. AND THEN

AND THEN

AND THEN

AND THEN

this whole stupid conversation happens so we get to the conclusion that xing si violated him ok cool but that means that something is wrong. that is the CONCLUSION WE CAME TO A SECOND AGO?

also the other rapist is a villain and muren isn't in love with him so, once again, you're breaking the rules of your own world about acceptability which is why most of this is absolutely mind bogggglinG that iit's fuckign comical. like i actually when i can stomach it start laughing or my jaw is slack because it's so insulting as a viewer because there is like 0 logical followthrough.

because whatshisface barges in, kisses him in front of his friends without permission, then says whether you were willing or not which is hm. at that point how u gonna change that around but let's not bother with logic here. i am simply here to point out how this makes no sense according to the rules they set up even outside of the basic rule of life which is hm dont rape people maybe.

so now we know xing si was raped, they believe he was raped, he himself believes he was raped, and whatshisface literally says he doesn't care even if he was willing (he wasn't) so he admits to rape. i don't believe in the police and i hate them (BL industry needs the cops but dont get me down that road) but no one...thought to go?

because according to history 4 logic nothing matters so im sure if he went to the police you could handwave the homophobia since there's no actual context for anything besides their whimsy. but they dont want to do that because they aren't interested in an arc of growth; redemption isn't possible unless he is removed from the family but again no work on thinking this through or thinking about the victim's feelings. because gay sex? who fucking knows. supposedly progressive taiwanese writers of gay shit (like how supposedly progressive the world is. as in it is not and this behavior is the norm and bl perpetuates that) can't think of transformative justice?

and then they gave bad advice so we wont acknowledge that because teng teng doing anything wrong/stupid is frequent but hurts me and also that storyline is not real so i pretend they are not there outside of this post

so all of this is just straihgt up clownery now because it's fucking absurd like logically, practically, human-wise. the kissing thing is inconsequential but it was such a lazy cheap way out lmao cos they really wanted it to seem consensual but that's not how it works. on top of that their attraction makes no sense because whatshisface is just there. he is just there. he's nothing and no one so the sentiments are even more empty and on top of that he doesnt listen to a single request fucking obviously because the basis of their relationship is fucking rape so fucking listening and respecting his partner is not on his list of fucking priorities. he's literally so fucking annoying even without being a rapist it's like someone please beat his ass.

and then after all of that you want us to feel bad? with your horrible writing, poorly misplaced music, stupid costumes (those fucking SHOES THEY ARE HIDEOUS, AND MOST OF THIER CLOTHES DO NOT FIT IT'S LIKE WHY), questionable fucking editing. we're supposed to wnat them together? this sounds literally fucking crazy but bear with me lmao even with the rape they could at least have SOMETHING i mean like i cant believe im fucking saaying this. but like in addicted heroin which is fuckin tragic and awful at least there's a MODICUM of interest but honestly that show s a fucknig drag. idk they lookd good together? here we have 0. nothing. and it doesnt motivate. watching obsessed again i can see why i liked it in the beginning bc they have good chemistry but the acting and production adn like everything about it plus the rape-y vibes it's just too much. you need to pick one thing so if you're going to be a shit writer at least supplement it with something. this thing is nothing.

and even more nonsensical and what boggles my mind frankly out of all this is the mother's involvement and the father's final response. there are NO consequences? theyre all happy?

ok so lets go through this:

1. 2 boys grow up 2gether, one of the boys is fucking psycho, the mother knows but does nothing??????????????

2. one of the sons moves out so his father doesn't get a hint that's he's fucking gay. ok fine. he has 2 best friends, a job, an apt. he is fine.

3. aforementioned brother is obsessed with him for SOME REASON besides being crazy?

3.5 no one has done anything during him growing up to help him not be crazy?

4. mom says to husband who is their father also just in case we forget "im afraid he will lose his humanity"

4.5 again, do nothing. 0. just like oh man hes crazy. guess that's just our son ;)

4. who cares. plies him with alcohol purposefully to rape him. not even dubious (even though dubious is fucked and not okay or is just not. fucking real. these shows are contextless when they want to be or even movies or whatever so it's like largely not up to the task to understand complexity in human rships and then oversimplifies it constantly because that's what we do IRL. but people have fucking feelings you know and we realize when things don't feel good or right to us either very quickly after or having to process it. and once you're eyes are opened you may feel as something was fucking ripped away from you. for the modc couple this would be a very logical conclusion for the high schooler the thirty year old dated but again logic or feelings are up to their whimsy. no one cares bc everything can be counted as dubious so honestly it's a fucking stupid fucking topic like again why are we litigating what is and isnt consent when you could just like idk. read cues? consent? wait? not be a freak? like we all know what is proper human shit so even if we are watching this uncritically which u cant bc it's glaring and stupid it's just even more dumb) so it was honestly a rape plot like he literally planned it soooooooooo??!?!

5. aftermath of rape the victim is like literally fucking bereft and confused. and a rape victim. like that's what they are insinuating and what also he is to be clear.

6. boy tells him "idc if i raped u i luv u lmao"

7. mom ENCOURAGED THE BOY to get him drunk because her other son was too nice? she encouraged her adult son to rape her adult step-son (but her real son because she repeatedly says you are my son and the dad does too THEY GREW UP TOGETHER WHEN THE KID WAS IN AN IMPRESSIONABLE STATE) so THIS ALSO MAKES EVEN LESS MOTHERFUCKING SENSE

8. everyone finds out about his rape and he isnt mortified he's just concerned about himself being gay to his dad?????? except it's not really about his gayness bc now it's about his sudden love for his rapist brother? which? hm ok. understandable the dad is like wow i do not think i like this

9. dad knows all of it is fucked up, everyone does, knows the mother fucked up, knows he fucked up. doesnt like it because he is normal. so we know this is terrible? ok great so—

10. father says "i can't accept this...but i'm willing to give you my blessing" ok see here's the thing. when you write you have to think about the things you are putting on the page and what you have written previously. this quite literally made no sense how the fuck are you going to not accept them but give them your blessing? does this crew know what the fuck words are? i'm assuming they went to some sort of school to obtain jobs here bc there cannot be natural talent or experience. maybe most of them are rich. fuck i do not know but this also makes no sense. just the literal logic of it it's like fucking insane the whiplash.

10.5 apparently this father is also shitty. everyone here sucks and they are basically begging me to think xing si is a fucking idiot so i dont even want to look at him if he is an object he doesnt matter so now i want to kick him. thanks a lot you made the victim get absolutely fucking nothing

they KEEP PUSHING the brother thing it is so insane and it's liek GUYS WE GET IT WE UNDERSTAND THEYRE "RELATED" BUT NOT RELATED SO IT'S OK HE WAS "RAPED" BUT NOT RAPED but you're GOING BACK ON YOUR OWN RULES!!!!!!!!!! WE GET THAT THEY ARE BROTHERS!!! WE'RE OVER IT NOW BUT WHAT IS THIS WHEN WE ALREADY ESTABLISHED SOMETHING? I AM CONFUSION? they flip flop between my son, my brother my actual brother, and cannot fucking distinguish between love for your father and love for your romantic partner? so to me what i see is that the father wants to fuck the son. that's the conclusion i am garnering now considering nothing matters and his love for his "brother" is the same as his love for his dad lmao. they couldnt even do that in a way that made sense. like damn anybody can get anything. these ppl who are doing this have to be fucking rich and/or have connections.

also this guy sounds literally like a textbook abuser like he says constantly "im the best choice" is a rapist is awful holds capital (oh hees "saving" smh ur trapping her!!!!! RETIRE!!!!) also wears terrible shoes so i am like ur alllllllllLLLLL FUCKING CRAZY ur all literally crazy and then they are trying to set rules and boundaries in their fucking house like WHY ARE THEY LIVING TOGETHER EVEN? even tho oh my god they know he raped him and for some reason they are both allowing to live in the house but they dont want them to have sex??!?!?!??!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?! i get that this is their house but this is like at this point these ppl are writing anything and now whatshisface is acting like a 2 yr old again and we are supposed to find this cute? like it makes 0 sense why do u fucking care u literally encouraged ur son to rape him so they cant have consensual sex under your nose now and have to wait four years? this is coming from the son who couldnt wait until someone was sober enough to realize hes fucking psychotic and should be killed also the fact that they act like being 20 means u have no fucking brain like this kid is in med school supposedly how do we know like hes a liar and an idiot so. also wait do they mean undergrad? how are you in med school at 20? is he a genius? girl i dont care lmao i guess i missed that but it's not like it matters so whatever

even if we ignore the stupidity of the literal acts, the grossness of the content, the absolute inability to write coherently or even remotely in a way where we would even want to see them together which is like....u set it up at the beginning so he punches "the love his life's best friend" also holy fuck im sorry remember when he punches muren because xing si got too drunk. so i'm guessing whatshisface is that good of a bartender that he makes super strong drinks and gets xing si drunk but his alcohol is magical therefore it doesn't make him sick. his alcohol is the type that gets you drunk but somehow doesnt get to your liver even though that's how we get drunk but dont ask guys he's only in med school and a bartender so i think he knows best (seriously have the main writers had a day of fun in their lives? have they ever been drunk? are they toddlers? drunk babies could probably do better tho.) i get that he was also jealous but if this kid is SOOOOOO genius (he understands social cues lmao he has the cpacity to project onto his victim so im like miss me with the not understanding shit. go to a fucking therapist like seriously did no one care abt this kid? his mother thinks he's like almost a goddamn murderer. how is she not dead? how are they all not dead? how do any of them know how to drive with this type of brain?) then he would understand that they are very clearly friends since he watched them part in a very platonic way and since he apparently knows what love is cos he thinks....he can....make someone fall in love with him bc he loves them? again, i wouldnt know hes 20 and taiwanese and im 29 and black from AMERICA so im WESTERN* so you know. different life experiences i guess XD

even if we do mental gymnastics to get it to a place where they "had sex" and he didnt rape him there's 0 ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO ties to the literal story they wrote and the rules they set up. i'm going ot assume they dont know wtf theyre doing and i know for a fact we all care more about their dumb show than they do but it's actually startling how piss poor this is it's like idek what to compare it to. the continuity is awful awful awful they needed a script supervisor majorly and they are making bank and are going to make fucking bank fof this shit. and itll just continue like that until IRL material changes and that's facilitated by these very same groups they choose to profit off of and exploit by propelling it into the mainstream and litigating homosexuality through capitalism. and i'm being specific with homosexuality. i dont want a GL market like at all and i know why we wouldnt have it either and that has everything to do with the nature of BL, capitalism, coercion, and the fanbase being young girls and women. i don't think in this day and age we can safely say all the fans are straight; i'm sure a majority but many women or people on the gender spectrum and sexuality spectrum also consume it. frankly, it's possible the women who write it could be or something too. i dont rly believe any1 is str8 lmao but im just saying it's not out of the realm of possibility. but it isnt about that at all. that's why we wont see "good" female characters (like well written) often that's why we won't see trans women or kathoeys or fat people or black asians in it. a lot of it is is a choice we participate in whatever. but holy fuck dude u could at least respect the audience's fucking intelligence. i'm talking about everything i think that is encapsulated in the project but it's even more jarring and worse because it's so insanely inconsistent and poorly done. like how we jump from one conclusion to another is wild to me. even their first "night together" and he wakes up im like girl....u no ur ass felt it. this nigga broke into his house and was like "im gonna have u" like it's getting weird

just make xing si suffer offscreen not us the stupidity is staggering, mind blowing, hilarious.

how wong kar wai, a straight man from HK (or at least married to a woman), or barry jenkins, a striahgt black man, write/do stories well about people they wouldnt knw about their experiences directly is....well thinking like using their brains and like knowing all types of people? the man who co-wrote moonlight is a hOMOSEXUAL, leslie cheung was fucking gay or queer (and he committed suicide and that's important also RIP homie) both are hailed as queer cinema like WKW wanted to do something else and invested time into it, changed the way he played around with structure, moved away from his crime oriented stuff. he THOUGHT about it and this film is about their reality. it's a harsh film, idk how i feel about it (but my fav movies of his are the crime ones or the messy ones where it's clear he didnt write a script lmao fallen angels is one of my fav movies its' abt assassins kinda) but i know it means something. and he didnt like what HK had previously wasnt enough. it is not the only cinema that should be shown since it's such a stark reality and depressing but it is a real depiction so we can have all sorts of stuff. no this isnt WKW level or moonlight level but i know for a fact these people think they are doing something because artists always do i say this as one and someone who is equally as useless. you're making a statement.

i also hate the westerner component of peoples analyses. first of all dont do cultural relativism. we can critique and respect. but second of all how are we going to keep saying "dont put western ideals on this" when that is what is happening anyway because that's part and parcel for soft power and capitalism. how about taiwan's history with the KMT? what about the regimes young people fought about? aided by US imperialism which permeates through society and affects material conditions, views, democracy, identity and that goes into culture and media. hm? what about that? is that reality too fucking western for people? that we are doing the same thing again now? is that okay to talk about or is that only on your time?

then there's the argument that this is just entertainment. yea no shit but the thing is if we r gonna talk about marginalized groups and watch bc of marginalized groups and then be expected to identify then i dont see why i cant put this in context. even if it wasnt fucking serious we'd still judge it. but it's so pompous and again like i wouldnt say EYE think it's art but it is "art" in the literal sense and no self respecting artist would ever go "man this means nothing." of course im not sure if they do respect themselves so hey but u cant just go oh man it's entertainment when it literally rests on the fact that HOMOS are MARGINALIZED. it literally rests on the fact that WOMEN ARE OBJECTS. you either want progress or you dont. i dont understand being so demanding but not beign specific in the demands and not trying to use your brain. if you dont want to use your brain don't. but if you are looking , engaging, and keep making these arguments or telling ppl it doesnt matter whilst complaining about how much others care is hypocritical at best, willfully obtuse at worst. both bad. :)

(also all this + another thing; it is insulting to have this like wedding happen based off of this stupid relationship when people fought so hard and had to push it. now they can use the material conditions to their advantage but it's so ridiculous. also because there is difficulty still in getting married in taiwan i'm honestly like....the boldness of the writers...)

[ranboounlabeled]

Incorrect Quotes

So I had the bright idea one day to make incorrect quotes based on a DnD campaign and the players. Why not post them here? If any of them find this and request this to be deleted, I won’t mind. Blu - DM, any other character you don’t see listed here Tuck - Alzora Autumn/Me - Aria Maria - Yeet Bard - Tad Whipple - Niyana ~ Aria at 3AM: Alzora wake up Alzora, annoyed: What is it? Aria: If butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans/mobians in their stomach? Alzora: The rest of Team Supernova: Niyana: aria what the fuck Yeet: No no, wait. She has a point. Yeet: What if they’re mobian butterflies? Snipe: What if they just feel really tiny butterflies in their stomachs? Niyana: That’s morbid. ~ Aria: is pink panther a lion Alzora: say that again but slower Aria: i don't get it? Alzora: he's the pink PANTHER Aria: okay? but is he a lion? Alzora: Aria. he's a panther Aria: is that a kind of lion??? Alzora: no it's a fucking panther Aria: I just googled it. Are they not pink?  Alzora: AND LIONS ARE??? ~ Yeet: *gets shot* Shit. Alzora: Language! ~ Niyana: Is 4 alot? Aria/Alzora: Depends on the context. Aria/Alzora: Money? No. Aria/Alzora: Murders? Yes. ~ Yeet: Just a reminder that I'm non-binary so if you've got a crush on me, u gay bro ~

Alzora: if one of you says that stupid thing again I will not hesitate to give you frost bite Aria: aw that's so sad alexa play despacito Alzora: starting with you Alt idea from our DM (context, Alzora is an ice dragon and I compare her to Elsa alot): Aria: thats so sad, alexa play Let it Go. Alzora: you will die in 3 days ~ Niyana: THE FLOOR IS LAVA Yeet: *helps Snipe onto a chair* Alzora: *throws Aria off the table* revenge Niyana: There are two types of people ~ Alzora: If anyone says ‘mood’ ‘same’ or 'me’ in response to something I say ever again, I will throw you out the nearest window Yeet: Mood Aria: Same Niyana: Me Alzora calling tad: hello? Tad can you come here quickly? Tad: why what happened? Alzora: well lets just say there’s a gun in my hand, 3 dead bodies on the floor, blood on the walls floor and ceiling, and police on the way Tad: Tad: what Tad: The police are going to be there? Yeah, you're on your own ~ Aria: Mobius is a hot, molten core with a solid crust. Therefore, its a ravioli Alzora: Please stop Yeet, taking notes: No no let her finish ~ Aria: Comparing me and Alzora is like comparing apples to oranges. Aria: I mean, I like apples, and I really don't like oranges. Aria: Oranges are annoying. ~ nesta: fuck your cake! aria: 

~ Niyana: I’ve been working on my evil laugh! ‘Cause everybody’s got an evil laugh, you know, like... Ha ha ha ha HA! Like that. Alzora: Okay, here’s the thing. You’re not ready... for the evil laugh, okay, you can do a chuckle? Like a mildly upset chuckle? After MY evil laugh. ~ Snipe: You're smiling. Did something good happen? Aria: Can't I smile just because I feel like it? Niyana: Alzora tripped and fell down the stairs. ~ Yeet: So, why is Aria mad at you? Alzora: They sneezed and I accidentally said "shut the fuck up" instead of "bless you". Yeet: Alzora: Yeet: How do you accidentally say "shut the fuck up"?! ~ Alzora: Anyone who says 'uwu' or 'owo' again is being arrested for crimes against humanity! Aria: Cwimes against huwumanity. Alzora: I'm going to break your fingers. ~ Yeet, while crying: LOVE IS DEAD AND NEVER EXISTED! ALL YOU DID WAS BETRAY ME AS I LAY SICK AND FESTERING! YOU ARE THE DEFINITION OF DREAD! Snipe: Are you ok???  Yeet, crying even more: NIYANA STOLE MY FUCKIGN WEAPONS! [This breakdown is immediately followed by Yeet trying to beat the shit out of a 15 year-old] ~ Alzora: Good Morning!   Aria: Good Morning everyone Snipe: Good Morning. [ half of everyone else says their good mornings] Yeet: My god you all sound like robots! “good morning” this “good morning” that. Yeet: Spice it up!!! Niyana: HEY MOTHERFUCKERS ~ Alzora: *falls*  Alzora: Alzora: I suppose I’ll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies. ~ Aria: Tall people are the enemy! Alzora: I'm sorry, I can't hear you from up here. Aria: I will tie your fucking shoelaces together and you won't even know it! ~ Niyana: But rules were made to be broken! Tad: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken. Nesta: Uh, pinatas. Alzora: Glow sticks. Yeet: Karate boards. Aria: Spaghetti when you have a small pot. Niyana: And rules! Snipe: Don’t forget bones. Yeet: Ye-Wait no- ~ Aria: Onion rings are just vegetable doughnuts. Alzora, used to Aria: Sure they are, Aria. Aria: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed. Alzora: Okay. Aria: Lasagna is just spaghetti-flavored cake. Alzora: … Aria, oblivious: Lobsters are mermaids to scorpions. Alzora, crying: Aria, please stop. Yeet, fascinated: No, continue. ~ Yeet: Hey, Snipe, what are you doing here? Snipe: This is where I come to cry. Yeet: What. Snipe: I said this is where I come to be a cool guy. ~ [loud crashing comes from Team Supernova's room, Tad runs in to find the room completely trashed] Tad: What happened in here!? [The rest of the Team are on an elevated surface]  Aria, on top of the bookshelf, shaking: We saw a spider... ~ Yeet: Isn’t it amazing what friends learn from each other? Aria: I learn a lot from Phin because he makes so many mistakes. ~ Aria: AVJDJAHDHSHS Tad: what is that? Aria: a keyboard smash Tad: how do I do it? Aria: just press anything Tad: 7 ~ Alzora: Bitch. Aria: Blocked. Alzora: Wait, unblock me, I need to tell you something. Aria: Unblocked. Alzora: Bitch. ~ Alzora: Don’t say a word. Aria: Aria: Fergalicious. Alzora: I said no words. Aria: Oh, I see. Two weeks ago playing Scrabble, it’s not a word. Now suddenly it is a word because it’s convenient for you. ~ Aria: Olli? Why are you outside? It's pouring! Olli, drenched: The aesthetic, Miss Aria. Aria: Olli, please. Olli: ThE aEsThEtIc, MiSs ArIa! ~ Niyana: There’s no “i” in happyness. Aria: There is if you fuckin’ spell it right. ~ Niyana: Do you care if I take the skin off the Furby? Niyana: I want to make him a God. Once he is free of his sinful flesh he can begin the path towards enlightenment. He will take care of Us. Niyana: Also I want to softhack his circuits. Yeet: I literally could not care less but never say anything as frightening as that sentence ever again. Tad, not looking up from his sketch book: I could design some long furby designs if you need me to. ~ Stella: I have a mafia! Yeet: We have a Niyana. ~ Yeet: Bro. Snipe: What bro? Yeet: Tell the whole world we’re bros. Snipe: *whispers* We’re bros. Yeet: Why’d you whisper bro? Snipe: Because you’re my whole world bro. Yeet: B R O. ~ Yeet: Your house is burning down! You can only save one thing. What do you save? Aria: My house?? ~ Aria: Yeet, do you ever want to talk about your emotions? Yeet: No. Alzora: I do. Aria: I know, Alzora. Alzora: I’m sad. Aria: I know, Alzora. ~ Stella: *looking around in closet* What should I change into? Snipe: A better person. ~ Whatever characters Yeet writes into fanfiction: *hugging and vibing* Yeet: Who would ever want to harm such a loving relationship? Yeet, brandishing a pen: I WOOOOULD! ~ Yeet: Chillax~ Alzora: That’s not a word. Yeet: Sometimes the ones who deny “chillax” are the ones who need to chillax the most. ~ Aria: 13 year old me would be both terrified and in awe at who I am now. Niyana: 13 year old me wouldn't think I'd get this far. Yeet: I would fight a 13 year old me. ~ Snipe: Yeet came into my room in the middle of the night, I pretended to be asleep, and they stroked my hair for a minute then left. Are they planning to kill me??? Aria: No they just care about you, idiot. ~ Yeet: Well, I guess you could say I’ve fallen for you. Snipe: You just fell down seven flights of stairs, how are you even alive? ~ Yeet: I wish I could block people in real life. Alzora: A restraining order. Niyana: Murder. ~ Alzora: What the frick is wrong with you? Snipe: Please be more specific and resubmit with the proper paperwork. ~ [on a city bus] Stranger: Are you traveling for business or pleasure? Alzora, in full armor: Combat. ~ Aria: Who ate my fries? Yeet? Yeet: I don’t like fries. Aria: Snipe? Snipe: I don’t need food. Aria: Niyana? Niyana: …It was Alzora. Alzora: Yeah it was. Aria: wh ~ Alzora: They are completely literal people. Metaphors go over their heads. Yeet: Nothing goes over my head... my reflexes are too fast! I would catch it. ~ Yeet: Live by the ass, die by the ass. Tad: S t o p ~ Niyana: Is there a word that is a mix between sad and mad? Tad: Malcontented, disgruntled, miserable, desolate. Yeet: Smad. ~ Tad: If someone is trying to rob a civilian, what is the correct course of action? Yeet: T-pose to assert dominance Tad: No. Niyana: Say "Thank you Chaos, for this meal I'm about to have" and then- Tad, interrupting: even worse Yeet, taking notes: Wait, let her finish ~ Aria: Hey Alzora, do you think Snipe feels regret? Because i just saw him choke down one of Tad’s pancakes in half a second. Alzora: Snipe has only one emotion and that’s hubris. ~ Yeet: *peeling a banana* May I take your jacket lol Snipe: Do you think other people can't hear you? ~ Aria: You have to pick your battles, Alzora. Alzora: I’m full of rage and I’m picking all of them. ~ Nesta, T-posing in the hallway: Good morning, parental figure. Tad, not looking up from his coffee: Hello, problem child. ~ Yeet, throwing his head in Snipe’s lap: Tell me I’m pretty. Snipe, lovingly stroking their hair: You’re pretty fucking annoying, that’s what you are. ~ Yeet, hoarsely: I think I'm losing my voice. Niyana: Ha! That means you can't yell at me anymore! [later that day]  Niyana: Turns out, Yeet is scarier when they’re quiet. ~ Snipe: WE'RE SINKING IN DEEP WATER. Yeet: Don't worry. I learned this from a survival TV show. Yeet: OH TOOOOODLES-- ~ Niyana: Who else uses can openers to drink soft drinks? Yeet: This is extremely unhinged I must try it immediately. ~ Snipe: Boil up some mountain dew. It’s gonna be a long night. Aria: You could have said anything else. Yeet: fire burn and cauldron bubble, baja blast to fuel my trouble. ~ Aria: What do you want for dinner? Niyana: How about Sonic? Aria: *whispers* He's so fast how would we catch him-

[introducingmiggymackerel]

Finished my first KFAM relisten last night and I’m still reeling from the heartbreak of ep 100 so here’s a short list of some of my favorite things:

The Pomchi Palace jingle

Just the whole first Mission: Apparition episode. “Four score and a cap in your ass” is iconic. Also very good Bemily content

Also re: Bemily when she visits them at the first Best Small Town in America celebration and Ben just gets so cute and flustered and Emily almost says she loves him and aaahhhhhh

The little post-credits bit at the end of ep 61 where Herschel and Cecil sing Shake It Off

Any time Sammy laughs post-ep 75 (but esp in 79, it just hits particularly hard the first time)

Just Herschel and Cecil in general. This show endeared me to two very old men and I would die for both of them FUCK

MARY JENSEN. She’s incredible and I love her and she’s amazing

The Tim 1 vs. Tim 2 fight happening in the background of J Fink reading from the fucky list during the telethon at channel 3

Troy roasting the FUCK out of Gundersen at the debate

The whole bit Emily and Sammy have when they tease Ben for his “Ben-isms”

“Snap, crackle, pop, diabetes!”

Honestly? Calvin. What a wild concept. Chaotic evil at its peak

Also Gwendolyn. She sucks but she’s so funny and I get so excited every time she shows up.

The fact that they actually adopt “Jack-in-the-Box Jesus” as an expletive for the rest of the show

When Ben hears the recording of Can You Hear Me for the first time and hypes up his own vocal performance

“Let’s make this fuckin’ mean somethin’” is such an excellent line and moment

“It’s been locked up for far too long” also makes me cry every time without fail

Ben not knowing what nonbinary means when Sammy brings it up but immediately becoming a very excited ally

The first time Mr. X calls and Ben puts him on hold and they both say at the same time “I don’t like this”. It was early on in the show and they were so in sync it makes me so happy

Whenever Herschel says “my/our boys” 🥺 it has big Grunkle Stan and Mabel energy

(Or “my Cecil”)

Also whenever Sammy says “my Jack”

Agent Reagan Spears. I know I already made a little separate post about her but I just wanted to reiterate that I adore Reagan, she is the light of my life and she is so weird

Every time Ben and Dan get into a 90s boyband fight. It’s so dumb and so fun to listen to

Fuckign,, I know it’s incredibly awkward and strange but when Jacob and Pearl sing Satisfied in Troy’s car I just laugh until I cry they’re so WEIRD

The whole back half of ep 44. The music. The sound design. The acting. I just,,

Ben losing his shit at Gundersen in ep 73. That moment is painful and it sucks but I love me some quality acting and patented Ben Arnold rage

Every time they date themselves with cultural references that were topical at the time but are kinda outdated (ex. various Trump jokes, baby shark, Hotline Bling)

Sammy “Sassy Dad Friend” Stevens. Just whenever he does the dad voice and especially when he gets called out for it

Every Sammy “mmhmm!”

The Beauregard announcement at the Best Small Town in America celebration in ep 78!!!! The suspense and the shock are just very good

Ron just,,,, loves Kingsie so much

“What the f*** are you saying that for, Sammy?!” “I’m sorry, did you just say fuck?!”

Chet clearly caring a lot about the boys. He’s a shithead but everyone has just kind of adopted each other into their weird family over time and I live for it

The first time Ben says “bad times are tough, but not tougher than you” and Sammy is like “wtf did you listen to the tape??”

When #OperationKingFallsKringle showed up and Sammy got all excited like a little kid like “wait he’s here?? Oh my god he’s here!!! Look at what I’m wearing!”

Darlin I’m Gone is such an earworm I get it stuck in my head every time I hear it

Any episode where we get content that’s not from the show. Town hall debate? Channel 13 news report? Wright On? Gimme it all

Sammy being all big-brother protective of Lily when she and Katie start… hanging out and denying it when Ben gets on him about it

Sofa King Beer. Such a stupid pun

CECIL motherfucking SHEFFIELD!!!!!!! AAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And that’s just off the top of my head! I know there’s not a lot of Emily or Lily content here but I just wanna make sure I don’t spoil too much

[kuningannasansa]

A musketeers rewatch (that nobody asked for) 1x07

Here we go, my least favorite episode of the whole show excluding season three which I didn’t watch! If you have even a passing fondness for Ninon, I suggest you look away :)

We start with a royal procession through the crowd and there are quite a lot of waving people there. If they can fill the streets with extras for scenes like that, why can those same extras not be used for the court scenes?

Priest whose name I have forgotten is being robbed. The musketeers rush in to help. 

Meanwhile, a crazy girl tries to get close to the queen and ends up being ran over by her carriage. If this is meant to be some Emily Davison analogy, it sucks!

The dead lunatic’s name is Therese and she wanted to give the Queen a note. Constance takes it and says “Fleur, what does this mean?” Am I supposed to take from that that she cannot read for herself? Cause a merchant’s wife definitely, definitely would know how to do that. 

Fleur is nowhere to be seen, however.

“This is an age of glorious discovery!” says Ninon. “Galileo observes the moons of Jupiter... But what is the role of women in this age of wonder?” - well, gee, i don’t know Ninon. Maybe you could have mentioned some female scientists of the era in addition to Galileo? Catherine de Parthenay, anyone? Or Marie Fouquet? Hell, Ninon de l'Enclos, my atheist queen, for whom this Ninon is doubtless named, was a notable woman in her own right! But no, we have to make women look more oppressed than they actually were to make this waste of space look more awesome. 

“My women of Paris, seek your own enlightenment!” - wrong era!

Therese, an orphan from a humble background, wanted to hand a petition to the queen about women’s education.  

“If she was an illiterate orphan she could not have written this. It is misguided but not unintelligent.” - says Richelieu. And indeed he turns out to be right. She didn’t write it. Which is fucking bizarre. 

Anne asks him if he doesn’t favor women’s education and he replies: “I admire learning wherever it is to be found, but this amounts to an attack on the authority of church and state.” Any French history buff know what the actual Richelieu’s thought of women’s education? @tatzelwyrm​? I’m gonna start a biography on him soon, but not until I’m done with this rewatch.

Ninon barges in past the guards and yells “stay out of my way, I will address the King!”. I’m sure this is meant to make her look badass, but she just comes across like a complete idiot who doesn’t understand that she would do better to follow court protocol, no matter how much she might dislike it, if she wants to achieve her goals.    

Luckily for her she’s pretty, so the king doesn’t mind.

“I want to know why this tragedy happened. If your guards are to blame I want them punished.” And then she gives Treville a dirty look! How dare you, you waste of skin and oxygen! Don’t you dare blame Treville for this mess! 

“You knew this lunatic?” - lmao, Richelieu!

Therese was the daughter of Ninon’s servant whom Ninon decided to educate. So she was educated, she COULD have written the petition herself. But she did not. Because when Richelieu says “she wrote this and was killed trying to give it to the Queen” Ninon screeches: “Don’t be ridiculous! She didn’t write it, I did!” And I mean, who exactly is looking down on servant girls here and saying it’s ridiculous to expect them to write something intelligent. It’s not Richelieu. 

But more importantly, WHY?? If Ninon wrote it, why couldn’t she hand it to the Queen? Why did this poor girl have to die? This is so, so stupid! I mean, okay, maybe Therese heard Ninon speak well of the queen and got the idea to hand her the petition on her own, without being told by Ninon to do so. But why did she have it in the first place, if it’s Ninon’s petition?

“Apparently the Comtesse de Laroque believes herself above the normal laws and conventions of society.” ´- well that’s an understatement.  

“The treasury is bankrupt and the country needs a new navy. Ninon has the wealth to provide it.” And that is why Richelieu sends Milady into the salon to find something to use against her. These two are so good in this, I love their scenes together! Pity about the rest of the episode. 

Richelieu is now freaking out about lesbians and Milady is just like “really, dude? really?”. I love her!

“Ninon must pay up or face destruction, I want every last penny from her!” - so it was not his intention to kill her, just to get the money. Interesting.

Fleur’s father is Bonacieux’s cousin. I love that, the commoners having family connections and support circles of their own.

The robbed priest is called Luca! Richelieu is “delighted to see him”, apparently, cause they’re old friends. And Louis isn’t, because he wrote a pamphlet arguing that Kings should bow down to the Pope’s authority. 

“We can’t have a comtesse abducting young women and spiriting them away to her boudoir!” - Oh, Richelieu! Do calm down.

It’s odd watching Richelieu try to use homosexuality to take Ninon down while shipping Trevilieu thou. 

Athos barges into Ninon’s salon, demanding to know where Fleur is and Milady very discreetly hides behind a pillar. Lol! 

And Ninon starts hitting on Athos immediately. She tells him that she’s often thought he’s handsome but the “melancholy aspect” to his looks is “probably only mental vacancy”. Who taught you how to flirt? Why must you be so abrasive and confrontational all the time? Like really, I get she’s meant to be a Strong Woman Who Don’t Take No Shit TM, but she just comes across like a loudmouth. 

Athos likes it thou!

“Forgive our intrusion-” “I will not forgive it!” - Jesus Ninon, it’s just a figure of speech, a polite gesture. People use these in conversation sometimes. She’s so unnecessarily rude smh.

Aramis says he “gladly acknowledges the superiority of the female sex” and I throw up in my mouth a little. That’s not feminism, that’s slimy!

D’artagnan: “If that wasn’t flirting, I don’t know what is.”  Porthos: “Rubbish! She can’t stand him.”  Aramis: “One day I’ll sit down and explain women to you.” - cause we’re all the same and no means yes, right writers?

Luca: “His holiness is concerned about the direction of French foreign policy.” Richelieu: “Well the pope is Spain’s performing monkey.” - he really is so funny! I know I keep saying that, but he is!

Also, YAY politics! Intelligent dialogue! I love this scene so much!

“In matters of religion I defer to Rome, in all else I am my country’s servant” - lol, Richelieu inventing the separation of church and state

Luca: “Is this your final word on the subject?” Richelieu: “It is.” - and that right there is where Luca decides to kill him. The actor plays it really well, knowing it’s coming I can see the briefest moment of regret in his eyes, but without hindsight I wouldn’t notice anything. And he gives Richelieu the poisoned gift. 

Also, isn't it the same guy who plays Margaret’s new man in Harlots? 

Athos says that Therese and Fleur were so far below Ninon in status that they were not in a position to make choices of their own free will. Which is fuckign stupid. But Ninon saying that she views all women as equal regardless of their birth is equally moronic. I mean, sure, they should be, but in reality they’re not and ignoring that doesn’t help anyone. And Athos does point out that Ninon’s money and position gives her certain privileges, but it sits wrong coming from him and not from Porthos or Milady or Constance, who are from poor/less wealthy backgrounds. That said, this is still one of the few semi intelligent scenes in this whole episode, so whatever. At least someone said it. 

Now she kisses him and invites him to dine! And he just looks sad.

Luca tells Richelieu to “deal with” Ninon “firmly”, cause the Pope is dying and Richelieu could be the next Pope if he shows himself a strong defender of the church against “heresy”. What heresy thou? Women learning to read? Lol, that’s so cartoonishly evil and ahistorical, but whatever. This at least explains where Richelieu’s desire to have her burned came from.

Richelieu: “I wouldn’t go so far as to call her a heretic.” Luca: “A woman who openly defies God's laws, what other word is there?” - what laws thou? what has she done, other than hold some salon meetings, as every other noblewoman was doing at the time?

Richelieu promises to consider his options and Luca tells him to pray to the poisoned bone for guidance, lol.

This right here is Richelieu letting personal feelings cloud his judgement, thou! Which he said he has learned no to do. But he allows himself to be carried away with visions of becoming Pope and honestly I don’t see how he can possibly believe that could happen with his foreign policy and how hated he is by the Vatican, as stated in this very scene.  

Milady and Ninon! I love that scene! Ninon clearly thinks she’s super special because she “takes the initiative” by kissing men instead of waiting to be kissed. She’s so damn smug about it! And Milady is just like “oh I could never be so bold” and I swear I can hear her laughing internally! 

And she very cleverly charms Fleur’s location out of Ninon!

Athos’s idea of a first date is the morgue. Charming.

Athos saying that Ninon is responsible for what happened to Therese because she gave a lowborn girl an education doesn’t sit well with me. Classist ass! But she is responsible for not thinking of Therese beyond how daring and adventurous and fun and positively scandalous it would be to educate a servant girl and then not bothering to care for her when she got bored. Cause if she had done, Therese could have come to her with her plan and she could have prevented her death. Because yes, regardless of her education, her background predisposed Therese to be naive about the King and Queen and how petitions work. Where was Ninon in all this, when a girl under her charge decided to do this foolish thing that cost her her life? Because if you want to be someone’s teacher you do have a duty of care. In short, Ninon is a classist ass as well! They’re perfect for each other!

So Luca’s stolen bag is in the morgue with the body of the thief who stole it. And Athos promises to send for it in the morning. I know it’s CSI: Musketeers and all, but why was it not delivered to Luca the moment it was found, lol? He’s a pretty important guest at the palace and it’s his property. 

Athos agrees with Ninon that marriage is a curse. LOL!

Ninon’s reason for not marrying is that she does not want a husband to own her wealth and body. Makes sense and that’s why many independently wealthy women chose to stay unmarried. Just pointing out the few things that make sense.

“You are a rebellious woman” - oh good, we managed to squeeze the title of the episode into the dialogue! 

Aramis just tossed a red guard out of Ninon’s house. Can’t tell if he’s dead or not, but certainly unconscious. 

There’s fighting. The red guards have swords, the musketeers have books. Athos screams “where is your authority for this!?!” - well, the Cardinal, I’d assume, since they are his guards. Oh bear of very little brain!

Fleur and some other runaway girls are found sleeping in a secret chamber and Ninon is arrested for abducting them.

Athos is all like “you said she wasn’t here” and Ninon tries to explain that Fleur did not want to be found and begs “make them stop” to which Athos replies “sorry, I can’t”, his voice and face making it very clear that he doesn’t want to. Because a woman lied to him! This is the worst crime! Really Ninon is lucky she’s being arrested right now, otherwise she’d end up swinging from a tree.

“Four young women! In their nightwear! I can only speculate as to the horrors they have endured!” - Richelieu really has a bee in his bonnet about lesbians. The days before p*rnhub must have been hard for a catholic cardinal. 

Luca is even worse thou! “Your majesty is joking but Satan is real! And his female familiars are everywhere amongst us.” Jesus christ guys, calm down! Have a wank or something!

“She had the girls, she lied, she brought her fate on herself.” - Oh shut up Athos! Not everything is about you and your relationship issues! As Aramis points out. Thank you, Aramis! And I never believed I’d ever say that.

Ninon/Aramis  > > > > > > > > > > Ninon/Athos

Aramis gives Ninon the cross Anne gave him. This is quite sweet!

“It’s not so easy when you don’t have money” Constance says and she is right. But it’s like the show is saying that the only way women can be independant is if they are independently wealthy like Ninon. But that’s not really true, Fleur could get a job such as a seamstress or pharmacist or grain merchant or actress or even as a secretary now that she knows latin and greek thanks to Ninon. Women did have jobs in 17th century France and even belonged to guilds etc. Not saying that Fleur would not be more financially secure still with a husband, but if she really doesn’t want that she has options and I don’t like how this supposed “feminist” episode constantly erases women’s actual history. 

Fleur’s father rages “what does she need an education for? She’ll be a seamstress until she’s married and then she’ll be a dutiful wife and mother.” But if he is Bonacieux’s cousin then they are in the same social class, that is to say, the merchant class. And merchant women had to keep their husbands’ shops when their husbands were away. They needed to know how to read and write and do sums. They needed this to be an attractive marriage prospect to a husband of their own social class! 

And the father wants to hit Fleur and D’artagnan all heroically threatens him. How boring!

Richelieu: “Many of our young women are educated. It’s not something we’re ashamed of.” Fleur: “Not just embroidery and sewing.”  Me: “WELL OF COURSE NOT!!!”

Then Fleur says Ninon taught them the “secrets of our bodies” and Richelieu is a hound on the scent!

“Be quiet or you’ll be gagged!” - Again Armand, this is neither the time nor the place to indulge your kinks. 

ENTER MILADY! 

She does such a brilliant job of her testimony! This is again her lying about rape and I talked about before why that is bad, but in this case I don’t mind cause it’s for state reasons and doesn’t in any way invalidate her own story the way the thing with D’artagnan does.

Athos completely LOSES HIS SHIT!! Not doing the defence any good there, buddy!

The look she gives him as she walks out is priceless!

Queen Anne to the rescue, bringing clemency from Louis! Clever girl, must have manipulated it out of him! Season 1 Anne was intelligent.

And Ninon ruins it by saying: “I have never consorted with the devil until this moment. I am looking at him.” To which Richelieu replies: “Condemned from her own mouth.” As any person with half a brain would. Jesus christ Ninon, you should have been gagged! For your own safety! 

And then Richelieu stops breathing! And we get Treville’s reaction to it, thank you camera people! Thou Treville mostly just looks confused, like “what is that drama queen doing now?” 

Now he’s twitching! And I’m sorry but it looks hilarious.

Aramis carries him to bed on his back and puts a hand over his mouth. I’m not sure that helps with the breathing issues... 

Louis pushes Aramis out of the way and cries “please don’t die! please don’t die!” aawwwwwwwwwww!

Aramis really saves his life here, huh.

Anne is briefly jealous about the cross and asks Aramis if Ninon is his lover. Lol! She never expected him to stalk her for the rest of her life, she fully expected him to keep lovers.  

Luca: “Satan turned his blood to acid at her command!” Porthos: “We’ll add Satan to the list of suspects.”

Fleur: “You think I poisoned him?” Constance: “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard even by musketeer standards.” - THANK YOU CONSTANCE!

Fleur is to be married to a 40 year old butcher. Poor girl!

“Was it you?” - LOL!

“Half the doctors say you’re doomed, the other half claim you’ll make a full recovery. There’s a lot of professional pride at stake.” - Milady is very funny too! But I’ve always known that! 

“Whatever happens to me, I want you to extract this confession from Ninon.” - translation: it doesn’t matter if I die, the main thing is that France gets that navy. For France, always. I’m amazed by how much he trusts Milady here thou.

Milady thinks the kneebone of St. Anthony is gross and “as much use as the doctors”. Bless her!

Constance very sweetly talks Fleur’s father out of forcing her to marry. Go Constance!

Ninon: “There is nothing worse than a woman who betrays her own sex” Milady: “I can think of a few things, but let’s not argue.” - THIS!! This is my favorite part of this whole miserable episode, because yes, with her background she can think of things Ninon couldn’t possibly imagine. It’s also a fuck you to that “don’t encourage girl on girl hate” line terfs and white feminists always hide behind when they get called out on their bullshit, though this wasn’t the point here. I love how she doesn’t even explain, too. Let’s not argue, cause what’s the point. You’ll never get it.

I do want to stress that Ninon is not wrong for educating other women and she has been unjustly condemned (althou I would argue that she might not have drawn Richelieu’s ire if she went about it in a more subtle, less smug way, for the safety of the girls she teaches if not for her own). But Milady is employed by the First Minister of France and is doing her job here, a job which she depends upon for her own independence and safety. As she says, Ninon didn’t do anything to her, she’s just a victim of circumstance. 

“If you don’t confess, the women of your salon will burn in your place. Surely you wish to save the lives of your accomplices in Satan?” - Milady does a good job of selling it, but if you think about it, that makes no sense. These women have already been publicly proclaimed Ninon’s victims. And if they have legal trouble with burning her alone, how would they manage a whole bunch of them, most of whom are also high ranking noblewomen?

Ninon falls for it thou. Fail!

Richelieu orders Ninon burned and Milady says that the Queen and King won’t like it. Richelieu replies that: “she’s irrelevant and a new navy will soothe his dismay.” He’s really underestimating season 1 Anne here. But season 2 will prove him right, sadly.

“The kingdom of heaven is a dream. Our only life is here.” - Go Milady!

Richelieu says he won’t burn her for heresy but to be careful cause “one day someone else might” and idk, but it comes across like pretty friendly advice, considering what he’s currently doing with Ninon. 

Now he worries he might go to hell! And Milady says he’s already there, lmaoo! I LOVE THIS SCENE!!

They go to the morgue to retrieve Luca’s bag and discover that the thief was poisoned in the same manner as the Cardinal. Thus the plot is uncovered.

“Open his mouth!” “You open his mouth!”

Luca kills a red guard and is about to kill Richelieu (who fights him with a fork!) when the musketeers burst in. And Richelieu curses them for being late!

Richelieu had apparently worked out that it was Luca who was trying to kill him at some point during the night. No idea how. 

Athos begs for Ninon’s life while the pire is already burning. And Richelieu agrees cause burning her is all very “dark ages”, like he said to begin with. He says he’s not a cruel man, just a practical one. But practicality sometimes requires cruelty. He’s not a sadist thou, that’s what he meant and that’s true. 

Athos drags Ninon off the burning pire. So the great feminist character got duped by Milady and then had to be rescued by her love interest. So good, much feminist. 

“As far as the world is concerned, Comtesse Ninon de Laroque died on that pire today.” Richelieu takes her lands, her property and her money and sends her into exile. Then he threatens to execute her if she ever tells anyone the truth of what happened.

“My voice will never be silenced, but I promise you will never hear it.” - the stupidest line of the whole episode and that’s saying something. Seriously, what does this mean? Your voice was silenced! Richelieu got your wealth which you could have used to educate more women. You were completely defeated. Like really, who is the idiot who wrote this? And what made them think this is in any way empowering or even just a satisfactory conclusion to Ninon’s acr?? Ughhhh!!

I do love Richelieu and Milady getting a rare victory thou! 

“Nothing, no person, no nation, no god will stand in my way.” - HOT!

Aramis gets his cross back lol. Otherwise it would have burned. 

Lmao, Richelieu sends Luca’s ashes to rome with a threat to the Pope.

And Capaldi pronounces “Richelieu” in a very strange way. 

Milady: “You do realise you’ll never be Pope?” Richelieu: “It’s an Italian club and largely a clerical position. I prefer something with a little more influence.” - L! O! L!

Ninon plans to open a school for poor girls and be a teacher. Well, idk, I hope she does a better job of it than she did with Therese.

Athos asks Ninon if “Madame de la Chapelle” ever told her anything about herself. And Ninon is like “so you did know her after all?” and he says “in another life” and she warns him to be careful because she has the cardinal’s protection so “a blow against her is a blow against him” and idk, does she realize that Milady was Athos’s wife here? Is that how I’m supposed to read it? He did tell her before that he used to be married.

Then she kisses him and tells him she could have loved a man like him. And she’s just way more into him than he is into her.

Lmaooo, Fleur is not forced to marry and can continue with her education and she’s “sure” that the woman who convinced her father was Ninon. And Constance doesn’t correct her and doesn’t even want the credit, but I’m mad lol, as if Ninon even remembers you exist Fleur!

D’artagnan gives Constance the credit, at least! And then comes his declaration of love, which is actually very sweet and I really liked them together in season 1! Constance is so beautiful in this scene too! It’s very well lit and she’s wearing that lovely dress!

Aaaaand we fade to black on some PG13 kissing and groping! Sorry, this was very long, but there was a lot to complain about.

In conclusion, awful! Like, the thing that bothers me the most is that this token girl power episode would not even have been radical in 1970, never mind today. The message is simply that women should have an education, which no sane person today would disagree with. It’s very safe and bland. And erases women’s real history in the process. It’s almost as if these male writers are congratulating themselves “weren’t things ever so bad Back Then, we are so much more progressive now”, instead of doing the truly radical thing and showing women’s real history, showing women in positions of power running their literary salons and not getting burned for it, showing women as independent businesswomen with an education! Why not give Bonacieux a female rival in the cloth business? Why not go deeper than “women are human beings” and give the episode a truly radical message that still resonates today. After all, we might be ever so educated now but it’s not like women have achieved equality. More on that in this old post: https://kuningannasansa.tumblr.com/post/126434697304/the-problem-of-ninon 

Anyway, I really hope the next episode will be better! 

Red Guards killed: 1 or 2, impossible to really tell

Ladies killed: Therese

Best Dressed: Ninon. She did have some pretty dresses. 

[lairofsentinel]

I’ve finished this terrible game called Greed_fall. Really...

Spoilers ahead, and really a big amount of “negativity” [aka criticism] about this game.

I can’t believe it’s the same company that did The Technomancer. I mean, sure, no game is perfect. But, to begin with, this one is sold as RPG when you have no fucking way to decide if you want to massacre natives or colonialists, or like, for example, spit and punch the man who never told you that you were a kidnapped child of natives that European colonialists took and raised as their own.  That’s a terrible wound in History. It even had contemporaneous versions not long ago [for example, the Condor plan], and this game did not even give you the option to punch the man or simply not forgive him?. Because without being able to choose anything, your char not only is not angry with that fucker, but they THANK him for telling them the truth 25 years later. Ah. But the man “loved your mother”. A fucking asshole kept the identity of a native child for 25 years simply because... he loved her. Ugh. 

I'll try to be short, and concise. I truly don't want to waste more time in this fucked up game:

The Natives:

The first ones you meet during the first 10 hours are basically depicted as childish creatures that know nothing, and they need of the colonialists to “learn”. Somehow, that was getting a bit more complex along the game, and you see few tribes that are angry at the ravishing of their lands. But still yet, they are depicted as “too aggressive” most of the time. As if they had not enough causes to want to attack the colonialists.

Suddenly, by the second half of the game, the natives realise they have power and knowledge by their own which is even more valuable that all the bullshit that Europeans bring. So, they have this stupid revelation that they know a lot that colonialists don't. You feel the natives so vague and lack of self sense.

Some other natives seems to me like CEOs, that suddenly, are too worried about market and commerce with the colonialists. Like... seriously?. Capitalist Natives just right there, after 15 years of colonialism fucking their lands?? Meh.

As a personal opinion, I hate the repetition of the concept of natives as “tribes” that live in a “small rudimentary village”, in comparison with the complexity that “European architecture/society” shows. Like... they only keep using the concept of the most nomad natives, they don't fucking show a complex society with science and art development beyond the European, when you have a super close example with the Aztec Imperium. They had advanced and successful surgical interventions of the brain and deep understanding of Astronomy while Europe was dying because they didn't want to bath daily and kept burning their astronomers. But ok, that's my personal annoyance toward every game where natives are shown.

European architecture, is the only one.

This comes long the same mood that Spider showed with the natives: “I don't give a fuck”-mood. You have the Bridge Alliance, who are basically the “Muslims” in the old Europe, the ones with true knowledge and “turbans”. I was expecting to see “Muslim” architecture. You know, mosque-like? [I'm not even asking them to have extreme History accuracy, but hell, give me something that make me believe it's true that there are 2 factions here] But no. You see some fences and some random arithmetical design here and there, 3 big carpets in the palace, but the rest of the houses and the palace itself are all European-like. I mean... if you are doing a game which scenery is so elaborated, you can't be lazy about designing 3 types of architecture, since you are basing your fuckign game on Europeans, Muslims, and Natives. Natives have the most rudimentary design because “natives”. They are all about big houses with just a bonfire in the middle. Sure, I know, native groups in the old Europe and Britain used to have that kind of architecture. Celtic-like. I'm complaining because I would like to see, for once in my life, a native culture which is shown as an imperium. But whatever. The Muslim architecture is such a lazy development here.

Petrus:

This is probably the highest point of fuckery. The man [a religious one] “took care” of the main character's mother, a kidnapped pregnant woman, because “she was the only woman he loved” [this game is ALWAYS about the colonialists and their feelings and their problems. European problems= MAIN quest, native problems= side quests]. Her husband was killed trying to rescue her [aka colonialists killed him], and she was sent to the continent, because she was... “marvellous” [this game has the most sickly arguments I've seen in a long while]. She gave birth to the protagonist of the game in one of the Naut's ships. She remained in captivity, and asked Petrus [ the man who was supposed to love her] to kill her, because she could not resist that life. He didn't do it, because “love”. And now, the whole quest is about how guilty Petrus is about that, and about the slight tiny detail of having kept secret that the protagonist's origin is native.

And as if all this was not sufficient, this “RPG” game doesn't allow you to NOT forgive him, to spit him, to do something out of anger. No. The whole quest continues with the protagonist thanking Petrus for “telling him the truth 25 years later”. This is terrible. The problem here is not Petrus being an asshole, is the game giving you no options to have another reaction but thanking him.

Romance:

Yeah, yeah, we have crappy romances. For a game which claimed to be based on DAO, didn't learn a shit about development of chars and their relationship with the protagonist. You have 5 characters that interact very little with the protagonist or among them [banter? What's that?. DOS2 has no banter, but at least you have a lot of personal conversation with the chars, and they intervene in the quests and give their opinions], and the peak of laziness was when I saw the “romantic” scene of all of them. ALL, ALL romantic scene are a copy-paste of the ones in Technomancer. The worst is Vasco/Siora. They are in the place of Andrew, from Technomancer. They did not even change the angle of the camera. I dislike this so much because that scene was meant to be related to Andrew. The man had a prosthetic arm, so that's why the main char looks at his hand, as a gesture of acceptance. In Vasco/Siora's case is so out of sense. Looking at that hand like “did you wash them? I don't want fish/soil in my thingie”.

And again... beyond the stupid romance, the development of relationships is so weak. I would not complain if they were not claiming they based this game in DAO. Lol. You can't even speak about the main quests with them. They have nothing to say. Nothing.

Pace:

This is probably a result of the whole mess of the many irritating things I've been seeing in the game, but it was incredible boring and slow. The dialogues are wrongly done. Every time you meet a new char, the protagonist explains everything. Again. It's not needed. The player already knows that, since you repeated that 53 times!.

The endings And the endings... hell. I can’t even know where to start. Basically... you can destroy the whole natives and the isle included, just because you want to save your cousin—son of an European colonialist, with a lot of daddy issues—. Again, the whole game is highly focused on European pain and feelings. It seems we should feel pity for his useless ass, and understand him when he decided he wants to be a new god, consume the native god, and decide “what’s better for the rest of the world”. Most colonialist ending you can't have.

Thankfully, our fave “RPG” game gives us a loooot of options to end the game: 2. Kill him or join him.

If you kill him, you have four “branches” of endings. In two, you are trying to find “balance” between colonialist and natives, and one ending about natives tired as fuck of the European shit repel the colonialists from their isle and let them fuck off with the Malinchor, since the only thing they can do is drain and consume everything.

Of course, this ending is “bad” too. You can't let the native decide by themselves. That's “bad”.

In fact, to end the game, you need to meddle in native politics. Like, you have to choose who will be High King of the natives. Look at that!. Your parents must be native, but you were raised as another colonist.... who has the power to intervene in native decision. The imbalance of power and fuckery here is... big. And I'm not counting on all the killing and destruction of native “sacred” places you had to do to reach this [the amount of guardians killed without other option to evade them annoyed me as hell, what kind of balance you speak of if you destroy everything at your wake?].

The “better” world ending, is a world of “balance”, in which colonialist and natives “learn from each other”. Which seems more or less ok... but again, colonialists owning their own shit? Never. And again... why our protagonist should speak about balance when they did disasters to reach the end of the game?. 

This is a game where you truly can play and let free your “white saviour complex”, because you can tell me all what you want about the protagonist being a “native”, but they only knows about that by the end of the game... their mind and behaviour and purposes has always been super colonialists, without chances to choose to fuck off Theleme and all the other factions out of rage. This is the most gratuitous plot you get from Spider to “cover” their asses about any critic of “but a colonialist had been deciding over natives all the fucking game”. And you know what, you did. It doesn’t matter if the char has native parents. They are the embodiment of colonialism to the end of the game. 

The only “bad” ending in which Colonialists are repeled, you have to feel sorry, because “bad natives allowed the continent to be decimated by the Malinchor”. Sure, because colonialist presence in the Isle was not like a “Malinchor”?.Ugh. Honestly, super infuriating game. 

But, by far, the ending of the Cousin becoming, alongside with you, “new gods”, destroying the native root.... was so fucked up....but well, at least it's an option. Probably the only relevant option this “RPG” gave us.

I was so sick about all this game, that I just wanted to have an ending of becoming a Naut [after all, the protagonist is a sea-born] and go fuck the old world and these terrible depicted natives. Of course, this “wonderful RPG” never gives you a relevant option like that.

Less troublesome things: “open world” that  only allows paths.

This is something inherited by Technomancer. You waste HOURS running from a point to another because this apparent “open world”, is  just a bunch of mazes/tunnels, and you can't jump or descend by places that look like accessible just because they decided their “RPG open world” has to be a lineal game with a clear path to follow. The teleportation points are not enough, since you always need to run minutes and minutes to reach ones of these. This is of big importance since the game is full of stupid Quests of “go speak with A, bring me their answers. Go back again, etc, etc”. This had been a big criticism in Technomancer. They did not learn about it.

Less troublesome things: combat

Another issue inherited by Technomancer. It's quite common to get stuck in some texture in middle of a big boss, or the dodge has a weird lag, or chars are too slow in general. This exact problem was a big issue during the first encounter of Technomancer, turning it into a nightmare. It keeps being the same more or less.

Honestly, this game has several levels of wrongness in terms of plot [I dont even care about the bugs, about the waste of time running, or the stupid quests of being a silly errand boy, or the combat—though, more often than not it enrages you--. But the plot was a big pain. Like... really... guys, you did Technomancer! Bound by Flame, Of Orc and men, Styx, even Grey Matter [I didn’t play it, but I was told it was interesting and with a lot of progressive stuff]... what the fuck happened here?. Sure, none of all those games are spotless, but at least they felt more RPG than this one!. You could be a bit asshole, a diplomat, or an evil char.  

I think they put all their resources in scenery in Greedfall. Because, yeah, it’s beautiful. Probably the only good thing in this game [even though it has this shit about paths that make you waste a lot of time].

A lot of people also highlight about the presence of poc chars everywhere. I didn’t notice this “everywhere”. You have white natives and black people among the colonialists, true. Which seems a bit ok, but to me it felts as the free pass for Spider to do all the fuckery in the game XD “hey, we all have colonialist mindsets, but hey... black people fucking native ones! no side is right! yay, we are mind-blowing you! XD”. 

Probably I have to mention that one of the few things that are good in the game is Aphra. Because you never see black/brown scholars in games, and she gave me, for few seconds, some relief of all this mess in this game.  However, the way she forces others to teach her... is quite questionable. As I said before, “yay, black people on the colonialist side, they can fuck natives like History white people did! We are progressive! this game is so gray-mind-blowing :D yay”.

Truth be told, not a recommendable game. If you want a more decent RPG compared with this one, of the same company, go get Technomancer.

[vaguely-concerned]

TEMERAIRE LET’S READ: BLOOD OF TYRANTS, THE WILLIAM LAURENCE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT NG+ SPEEDRUN

- oh NO LAURENCE D:D:D:

I do love that one of his first realizations is that he’s definitely not dutch tho lol this dumbass remembered that he was english before he remembered his own name

- caught between OH NO TEMERAIRE (and it’s only page 9 it’s going to be one of those books huh) and laughing my ass off at the thought of him swooping into notoriously isolationist japan and yelling ‘HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN MY DAD???’

- “Yes,” [Laurence] said, unyielding, as he could not be otherwise. ahahahahaha way to summarize the entirety of old school!laurence with one fucking sentence

(I am very much enjoying this uh. ‘setback’ of his character actually? novik really did just roll him back to factory settings and went ‘now... from the top again, let’s see if you’ve been paying attention these last seven books’ haha. no one told me there’d be a test!!!!!!!!!!)

- Kaneko really has the patience and graciousness of a saint, @ laurence please... please try to be marginally less sketchy hm? (I guess his sheer obliviousness to how direly he comes across here must be why kaneko hasn’t dismissed him out of hand)

- y’know... at least laurence is in no position to have to worry about all this shit temeraire and the others are pulling. when people start talking about black-scaled celestials shaking the country to its very foundations he’ll be blissfully, innocently unaware. that’s something, I suppose... well who am I kidding we’ll 100% get a couple of paragraphs of him convincing himself this is all his fault somehow anyway

- . . . and His Majesty’s Government does not behave in such an underhanded a manner as to attack another nation with no warning or quarrel. aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha oh what a strange beautiful fantasy land you’ve been residing in for most of your life william laurence, hang on tight for the opium wars

- hahaha oh my god this is like a platonic version of that text post

temeraire: have you guys seen my dad??!?!

them: what does he look like?

temeraire, crying: beautiful and human and has gold buttons

- I take it all back old school laurence is such a tremendous idiot. just PRETEND you’re willing to cooperate at least you huge fuckign dummy, all you’d have to do was say something vague about how the ship can’t get too close to shore; it won’t actually help them and they’ll know it but you won’t make yourself look so unspeakably willfully suspicious

-  :( making me read things where temeraire is just hurting should be ILLEGAL actually

- NO LAURENCE STOP TRYING TO KICK LITERALLY EVERY POLITICAL HORNET’S NEST WITHIN REACH BAD BOY he is... a disaster but I love him and fear for him as a son so here I am anyway

- hahahahaha yeah wow laurence it sure would suck if you ever had to commit treason huh death probably would be preferable indeed

b o i

- i like that it took him like a week to even give a single thought to edith lol at least he remains aggressively himself

- I think temeraire basically just invented dragon baby photos and I can’t even think for how darling it is

also every dragon physician is delightful; they fear neither god, man nor huge ass patients who could swallow them in a bite

aw man I love gong su

- ahahahahahahah kiyo is the actual best I can’t breathe

KANPAI INDEED, MY LADY, MY LIEGE, I DON’T CARE WHAT ELSE HAPPENS I WOULD FOLLOW YOU TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH

Laurence was forced to at least moisten his lips in a show of accompaniment, and hope that he had indeed buried Caesar and not praised him, or for that matter raised him from the dead one act too soon; he was not perfectly sure. He did not think he had been this appallingly drunk since he had been a boy of twelve, trying to make good on every toast at his captain’s table. I. am. dying

thank you thank you thank you for the mental image of laurence drunkenly trying to stumble through the ‘friends, romans, countrymen’ speech as well as the entire rest of the play in a one-man performance

- oh no... I would die for junichiro, baby boy who loves his teacher SO MUCH ;____________; aaaaand there are laurence’s adoption instincts, I see, right on time <3 I like how they have had one actual conversation now and laurence is like ‘ah well nothing for it then guess you’ll have to stay on my ship and I’ll have to be your dad now, brash 16 year old child’

junichiro is being Full Teenager about laurence not knowing ~*obvious*~ things and it’s a delight

- y’know this period of japanese history is always portrayed in the west as paranoia and it could probably only be done because the country was a strict military dictatorship at the time... but having read oh, any history book ever, deciding that nope nah don’t think so no europeans ever is the greatest ‘fair enough’ in human history.  (...I guess this series is sort of AU fix it fic of the period in the first place haha)

- seeing temeraire this level of straight out angry is very interesting and also very unsettling

- ooooof whenever laurence almost-remembers temeraire... stab me in the heart why don’t you

- man churki really is the mom friend of these dragons she’s the only one who has a lick of sense

- *laurence, upon clobbering several men with an oar* “Ma’am, I beg your pardon,” Laurence said to the old woman, who was still sitting ramrod-straight in the ferry over the side from him and regarding him with a flat expression of utter disapproval and not the least evidence of fear; he put out a boot over the side and shoved the ferry off with a heave

god this book is just a continual parade of glorious mental images, just this old woman glaring at him like ‘RUDE’ and “Ma’am, I beg your pardon” fdslfhsdlkjh

- I have a lot of sympathy for hammond. imagine having to navigate the extremely delicate diplomatic situation between europe and japan, with the real prospect of a war breaking out over it, while temeraire is looking over your shoulder... real dragon in the glassware shop vibe going on here, i’m sorry about your life hammond

- AUGH laurence just sort-of-remembered emily he just half-remembered he basically has a daughter someone hold me (...junichiro is so so sweet ;___;)

- bwahahaha yeah I’m sure the only reason this impressionable young kid who’s slowly becoming very impressed by you has for sneaking glances at your bare chest is manly appreciation of your battle scars laurence, well done (I mean a supremely understandable innocent teen crush to develop but stay safely out of that, kid; I trust tharkay to survive the sheer field of mayhem around this man only because he’s got like 20 years, extreme competency and a world of cynicism on you)

- aw junichiro :(:(:(

- ...laurence you need to stop making your dragon boi think you’re dead because this is hurting me. my heart lies in sad little pieces on the ground right now. you are stepping on them with tapdancing shoes.

- “I am under an obligation to Junichiro,” [Laurence] said, quietly, “who you must know has aided me for love of you. If I surrender myself and am made prisoner in this way, will your honor be satisfied?”

fdsfhsdkfsdja  *ELMO SURROUNDED BY FLAMES GIF* this is all awful they’re all such good people why must this happen why this  

(what a way to remind me why I love this stupid wonderful man so much tho uuuuuugh)

- “He is a prince of China, and my captain.” “The devil I am,” said Laurence. This might be the funniest heartbreak I have ever experienced

- good job making me cry whenever I read the words ‘principia mathematica’ naomi novik that was real nice of you

- maximus is such a solid bro. not the brightest, but by god a good 80% of that boy’s gigantic body mass is pure heart

- I love the sheer trollishness of just dropping all these hints about whatever’s going on in the US and then moving on like nothing has happened lol at least it’s deeply implied that hamilton squandered his chances at the presidency by pulling his dumb hoe act in this universe too... constants and variables friends constants and variables

- bOY for a moment there I really did wonder if junichiro was going to die, thank god for a quick google to stop my heart from leaping up my throat and out into thin air to shatter yet again on the flagstones beneath

- in unrelated news I recently found out a bit more about the whole historical Situation in Australia at the beginning of Tongues of Serpents (incidentally, by reading Mark Forsyth’s ‘A Short History of Drunkenness’, which is very funny and quite interesting although I can personally testify that the chapter about vikings at least is completely riddled with misunderstandings or straight out factual errors about the mythology, the role of women in society and uh the entirety of how poetry worked so maybe take him with a pinch of salt lol), and now, in retrospect, I have to say Novik does a poor job conveying the sheer hilarity and madness going on at that time. Like. I was quite bored in those first few chapters, whenever Tharkay didn’t have page time. how could you make this incredible spectacular shitshow boring. it should have been easy comedy gold and not just like. misery. oh well great times, let’s return to the book at hand

- I remain utterly devoted to Lady Kiyo. livin’ life, drinking sake, giving no fucks, absentmindedly scoping out the western style ships and starting an entire modern navy for her country, getting some Theater up in here.... truly I would follow her into the jaws of hell itself, safely in the knowledge that she’d find some way to have a good time down there

- kaneko tearing up at laurence promising he’ll take care of junichiro 😭 this is so cruel to me, personally, specifically against my person, I am undone

- I like how the incan dragons are told like ‘don’t pick just one special person; you can love all your humans equally’ while the poor japanese ones are told ‘actually don’t love any of your humans very much at least not more than Honour’ lol they must have so many neurotic dragons running about b/c that when that attachment happens it seems extremely central to their psychology (and considering lady arikawa it’s not like they’re exempt from it, they’re just supposed to repress it to conform)

- laurence desperately trying to work out whether emily’s his daughter without actually asking anyone... delicious

the descriptions of roland’s letters: even more delicious

- temeraire sees the sad remnants of laurence’s robes and ‘hello darkness my old frieeeeend’ starts playing in his head... too bad laurence isn’t really in a position to experience the relief

- He is very much a one-note character, but O’Dea’s resolute dedicated fatalism is extremely funny

- hahaha poor temeraire... when you try to introduce bae to the family and they insist on being TOTALLY EMBARRASSING god

- The guilt of having caused pain to one deserving only consideration at his hand mingled with unanswered disquiet. I’m bawling laurence’s dad instincts are so pure and good even tho everything’s a bit messed up right now. like this whole paragraph is so powerful b/c you can see laurence’s natural loving impulse at war with his dad’s cold authoritarian parenting style and because his lived experience is removed he doesn’t know what is right.............. oh b o y

- oh okay I see my earlier comment about the opium wars proves unexpectedly prophetic

- it cannot be overstated how much I love junichiro or how happy I am that laurence is being so soft and patient with him. this kid has Been Through some shit

- emily roland shoulder to shoulder with laurence killing fools and he never doubts her for a moment... *chef kiss emoji*  

- the problem with these books is that there are just so many good characters and so many of them don’t get any real page time in any given one -- I’m sitting here plaintively like ‘I realize this is not the most pressing issue right now but how is demane and sipho doing. are they okay. does sipho have enough books’

- ouch memory loss isn’t stopping laurence from flashing back to victory of eagles :(

there’s something so disconcerting about knowing why laurence reacts to things the way he does when he doesn’t; novik is using that very efficiently, this is a very satisfying use of amnesia just from a writer’s POV haha

- I like how none of these suckers really have the tools (or in some cases even inclination) to understand how messed up junichiro’s political situation is in all this

they just expect him to come home to britain with them and meanwhile he’s just found out that The greatest threat to his nation (from his POV I mean china/japan relations irl seem uh complicated) has more dragons in one field than he’s ever seen in his life. it’s a rough and lonely deal being this kid in this book

- oh ouch yes hey there laurence there might have been... a little bit of treason. true. extremely justified treason tho. I mean. oh dear

we don’t have tharkay and his unique mix of deep cynicism, incisive sarcasm and surprising depth of concise moral clarity here to assist with the aftermath so this could get  u g l y

- listen what did I SAY about making me read about temeraire being miserable     :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

- SIPHO!! hey baby boy pls have some thought for your brother’s cardiac health tho

- aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw the fact that laurence is getting out of this crisis so much quicker this time because of his bone-deep instinctual knowledge of how much he loves temeraire, which doesn’t need specific memories to be true and felt. god. jesus. stars above

- laurence: approaches little

little: gay panic

- [Laurence] groped after the truth of himself like a prisoner in Plato’s cave, watching shadows. *clenches fist with great emotion* fuck naomi novik why must you be such an excellent goddamn writer im in pain

- oh hay arkady

poor poor temeraire feeling like a failure in every way is so awful but also kind of funny. ‘oh shit arkady’s egg oh fuck oh crap’

- I LOVE that hammond is so clearly and repeatedly shown to be a very astute political thinker and working shit out before everyone else! he may be a dumbass and a bit of a weasel but by god he’s great at what he does!

- laurence wouldn’t have changed anything if he could u guise. I . that. hm. oh

- thARKAY

.........arkady I am only a human and a small one at that but I will find some way to climb up there and wring your neck

(how cute is it that apparently jane roland realized she needed someone to find laurence and was like ‘well I need someone who can take care of themselves and knows the area and speaks dragon and Understands the chaotic ways of william laurence and also has looked uncharacteristically like a kicked puppy at the very mention of his name ever since being forced to leave him behind in australia.... hey tharkay you want a job’ fhkjshdfkalhsd)

- I’m very glad I googled ahead and spoiled myself a bit on this, because if I just read this part fresh I would have expired on the spot

- MISSION GET MY BOY BACK SAFE FOR GOD’S SAKE is a go

- general chu is pretty cool for an old dude you feel me

- . . . and Laurence knew him; knew him and knew himself.

ahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha

hahahahahahahhahahahaha

hahahahhha

haha

what... what pure undiluted soulmate nonsense is this. what. how. WHY would you do this

- I think I said something offhandedly in my victory of eagles reactions about how tharkay makes laurence remember who he is. I. thought I was exaggerating slightly for dramatic effect at the time. um wow

- I am having the sort of feelings about I need to write fiction about because my ability to express it any other way is failing me. That’s just about the highest praise I could give, really, Novik sure knows how to plant interesting seeds in her stories lol

- for the record this is not how I wanted him to end up in laurence’s bed

(im not thinking too much about how he got hurt b/c if I do I’ll start crying and that’ll just be embarrassing for everyone)

- “I hope you will forgive my mentioning it, Will,” Tharkay said, eventually, rousing Laurence from his reverie. “ -- I recognize there is a certain pot-calling quality to my doing so under the circumstances, but have you noticed that the top of your head appears likely to come off?”

a) my love for him is just. so pure. so complete. so deep b) consistent first name basis; the one sure way to make me swoon c) the implication that he’s just been quietly watching laurence while he was lost in thought... im so soft

- oh god laurence very gently helping out demane and roland because he remembers now....... i cry and my tears are blood welcome back buddy

- “I am of the opinion,” Tharkay said, “that you ought not assign to free will something more likely the consequence of a sharp blow to the skull.”

he truly is the gift that keeps giving. an endless cornucopia of sarcasm and delight. we do not deserve him.  

- [The man he was eight years ago] would not have valued his own feelings, on such a matter, higher than the law and the discipline of the service. *AIRHORN AIRHORN AIRHORN* there we have it folks that’s literally his character arc spelled out, he would have done SO MUCH BAD SHIT because he thought his own feelings didn’t matter and yet he chose another direction, stupendous, brilliant, revolutionary

also him trying to get his support across to both of them in as roundabout and discreet way as possible... laurence you beautiful disaster

- im just so happ. so happy. so happy temeraire has his dumb dad back

- oh so the russians think the BRITISH, of all people, are too soft on their dragons... ruh-roh

- sdfskadlfj yes good tharkay the ROBES (also the implied depth of fond schadenfreude-tinged amusement contained in that ‘those particularly magnificent robes’.... *prayer hands emoji*)

laurence is like ET TU BABE?????

I think this is very delicate gong su speak for ‘please do not be a dumb bitch your majesty’

hahaha chu knows what’s up -- I am growing desperately fond of him, please don’t have him suffer any cop-one-day-from-retirement style accident

- “If I may cut your Gordian knot,” Tharkay said, with a glint in his eye. fdsklfhsdkflhdsakjfhdskjh remember back in black powder war when he was all closed off and phlegmatic and purposefully distant... and here he is... with a glint in his eye and a crazy ass plan that requires other people and that he actually shares before pulling it off and calling laurence by first name in public......... we’ve come so far

- Also this means he’s close enough to Laurence’s height and build that he can wear his clothes without it looking weird, which is nice to know because Laurence is sometimes more preoccupied with describing what men are wearing than, y’know, what they look like lol. (probably not quite as broad in the shoulders, tho, since it’s pointed out every time laurence is described that he has shoulders like a linebacker)

- temeraire: eXCUSE me god didn’t do this the emperor of china did???!?! rude???

- pffffffffff tharkay and chu being jaded world-weary bros for a second there... this is what I read these books for folks

- NOOOOOOOOOOO chu this is the one thing I asked you NOT to do D: temeraire being sad and scared about it is slowly murdering me, thank god laurence is back online for him

- dunno this napoleon dude sounds pretty great and all but this also sounds suspiciously... like trying to invade russia in the winter time. immovable force and unstoppable object or something. I mean I don’t read history so I don’t know. might be a great idea. who’s to say.

- I see that tharkay and laurence have reached the ‘communicating complex information solely through eyebrow movements’ stage of their relationship. *drinks this excellent excellent OTP juice with both hands*

- god I love how cool temeraire!napoleon is, in a strangely believable way. he’s just so weirdly charismatic and novik is SO GOOD at setting up a situation so you understand just how brilliant a move he’s made whenever he seems to be backed into a corner and turns it all around. I kind of want him to win at this point (though tbf all of europe fucking sucked at this time so like he doesn’t have to doll it up TOO much to look better by comparison haha)

- boooyyyy Laurence is P I S S E D (also him being like ??? :D that the general basically agreed with him lol)

ALSO also the fact that laurence does not realize that he’s like the fucking horror story all the major authorities around the globe tell each other at night... fjksdfhsdkjlhf

ah russia. truly consistently one of the most shit places to be a peasant or apparently a dragon through so much of history.

- junichiro Y__________Y no wonder laurence is so protective of him, he’s finally met someone as stubbornly stupidly ~*honorable*~ as himself. godspeed bb boy I wish you only the best even though I know your story line is never properly brought up again

- I ship... roland and demane... so much. like with my heart. she’s so young and earnest and curious and misses him so much and casually scandalizes alice about it fsjdakfjhds

- well I mean. dragons eating people is clearly not  g r e a t  but also... karma. y’know?

- this is a lot of words to use to convey the sentiment ‘oh they are all so fuuuuuuuuuuuuucked’ naomi novik

(feels a little like she wrote herself into a corner here tho -- she’s set up such an impossible situation, in RUSSIA in the WINTERTIME, that I’d need a hell of a lot of convincing to believe they get out of it)

- aaaah okay I really enjoyed this one too, especially the first half! I feel like this series is often at its most inspired when it sticks to a tighter character focus (for example I still vividly recall the part in the first book where Laurence stays in his father’s house and it’s Bad. relatedly........ F U C K lord allendale), and this brought that in spades. I love this series so much, it’s shamefully underappreciated in the speculative fiction world.

also it brought *me* to my knees with a simple “Tenzing,” [Laurence] said, which... holy shit. fuck. damn. that’s my personal recommendation of this book, tbh, even beyond my wish for this series to be more appreciated within the genre: Tharkay was there and it was very gay and non-obnoxious soulmate vibes???? I never even thought it could be done but here we are

This is probably going to be my last reaction thingy for the foreseeable future, since my local library doesn’t have book 9 and honestly... having read a few summaries of what happens in it I’m not that keen on reading it? That’s not the ending to this story I want, so I’ll just live over here in denialville, I-realize-the-author-made-the-choice-to-not-make-further-use-of-Lien-AKA-THE-coolest-antagonist-in-this-series-and-indeed-did-not-wrap-up-numerous-character-arcs-or-plot-lines-but-I-don’t-like-this-choice-so-I’ll-ignore-it

(actually I do sort of appreciate the idea of not having one grand final duel or something, because that’s not how it usually works in real life, but that she’d just shrug and not mercilessly hunt for the revenge she’s so clearly motivated by when everything she loves is falling apart around her again... that’s too much of a letdown to bear, really)

let me just... live in willful ignorance and pretend anything could happen from this point onward haha.

- let me give a final shout out to my boy gong su, who’s been hanging around since book 2 (!) and yet we do not know One Single personal detail about him for certain except that he sure knows how to handle knives. that’s some good spy shit right there, he knows what he’s about

[iheartgrayson]

pizza order | grayson dolan

💘FLUFFY💘

Having a defenseless look on your face while looking at your sister Rosa, you couldn’t help but wanted to smack her across the face and wipe off the amused smirk her lips form when you looked so powerless over something so simple.

‘’But why?’’

‘’Because you are nineteen years old for God’s sake, Y/N. Seriously, you can’t act like a fucking child for a simple phone call.’’ She spatted with a scoff on her face. She was really rude and it made you mad at her.

You crossed your hands at her statement, leaning behind on the chair and looking at the floor- the white fluffy carpet way more entertaining that the conversation you had- all at the same time you tried to play the victim so you could change your sister’s opinion. Usually, you didn’t have a problem talking with people as long as it was face to face; phone calls made you quite nervous and it were countless the times you said stupid things because of your nervousness.

‘’But Rosa. I don’t like phone calls.’’ You defended yourself but it looked like Rosa was not having that. Well, she was right. You were nineteen and a grown ass woman which meant you couldn’t pout and argue over a simple phone call. But like any other normal person who just got to be an adult, phone calls that were not with friends, family relatives or love partners seemed to make them nervous and anxious for no reason at all; you were not the exception of the rule.

‘’Well, grew some boobs. Either you call and order the fucking pizza or let yourself starve.’’ She argued back.

What a fucking bitch!

It was true though. You wanted to order a pizza because your fridge was empty, there was no other source of food and your sister forgot to buy you one on her way home like you so politely asked her to do couple hours ago. It seemed extremely stupid to have an argument over the pizza phone call but your nerves were getting the best of you.

You watched as Rosa threw your phone over the bed she was sitting and looked up at you with the same smirk she had earlier and with avery audible groan, you grabbed it and sat back down while you stared at it debating with yourself what you should really do. Call or starve? When a loud noise came from your complaining stomach you knew the answer right away and with a sigh, you started dialing the all familiar number of the pizza place that was couple blocks away from your house.

You placed the phone by your ear, listening the ringing sound while picking on your nails. A very bad habit you still had while being all nervous. It ranged couple times before a very attractive, muscular, deep and kind of familiar voice answered it.

‘’Star Pizza, here. How can I assist you?’’ You just stood there, listening to the voice that belonged obviously to a man and trying to remember what you wanted. ‘’Hello?’’

‘’Oh, hi.’’ You said back when you shook yourself out of your thoughts.

‘’Hi, how can I help you?’’ He sounded polite and cute.

You bitted your bottom lip before you answered stuttering. ‘’I-I would like one small penis, please.’’ Before you could even think what you just accidentally said, your eyes blown wide and your mouth dropped to the floor, a loud but still cute laugh was heard from the other line.

‘’I only have a large one, is that okay?’’ The gye responded and that was when you wanted to find the nearest to cliff to jump off of and let the earth swallow your pathetic existence.

‘’Umm,’’ You started laughing nervously and rambling your neck. ‘’Sorry. I wanted to say I want one small pizza. I’m so sorry.’’

‘’Hey, it’s okay. Don’t worry.’’ The guy said assuring you everything was okay but obviously it was not. You wanted to die right there and then. ‘’Just tell me your address.’’

‘’1840 Black Oak Hollow Road.’’ You answered right away and before he could say anything else, you hang up the phone and threw it as far away as possible from you right before Rosa started laughing hysterically. You rolled your eyes and sighed. ‘’Please, just shut up.’’

‘’Are you serious? You just said ‘I want a small penis’?’’ She repeated your words as she wiped her laughing tears. ‘’Are you fuckign serious? What did they say? Who it was, Nancy?’’

Usually at this pizza place every worker was a female except the delivery guy so it was extremely weird that it was guy who picked up the phone call and that was also part of the reason why you got much more nervous. ‘’No, it was not. For some weird reason it a guy who answered the phone. Please, Rosa, stop. I was nervous.’’

‘’Nervous? You are stupid for acting like that.’’ She exclaimed and laughed again as your words came back to her mind. ‘’And a guy? They must hired a new one.’’

‘’Yeah, and that was the reason why I didn’t want to call. See? I say stupid things over the phone and that proves my point. Next time, please keep it in your mind that your sister just asked you one simply favor so we can prevent those kind of disasters.’’ You fired back and got up before walking out of her room and straight to yours. Let’s hope that event would be forgotten soon because Rosa won’t stop making fun of you for that and let’s say that Rosa had a very weird sense of humor.

Scoffing and sighing you fell with your face on top of the bed, letting a big scream that was muffled between the mattress and trying to prevent the tears of pure distress been fallen from your eyes. ‘’You are extremely smart, Y/N.’’ You talked to yourself and rolled your eyes. ‘’Well, I know what I am going to do. I won’t step a foot on that place again. At least until I know if that guy is fired.’’

It was a promise that soon would be broken, unintentionally

🍕🍕🍕

‘’Y/N!’’ Your mom’s screams woke you up from your daydream, or as everyone called it your studying, and sighed before answering her.

‘’Yes?’’

‘’Please, come here. I need your help.’’ She begged you and after closing your textbooks, you grabbed your phone putting in your jeans pocket and walked downstairs and straight to the kitchen. ‘’Oh, here you are.’’

‘’What do you want me?’’

‘’I need your help.’’ She started as she placed her wallet back inside her big bag and looked up at you.

‘’Duh. What?’’

‘’Tonight, some of my coworkers will come home and have something like a mini party and I ordered a bunch of pizzas and I am going to take them now and I need your help carry them.’’ She explained and walked towards you. It was a great offer and it was really a good sign for you to stop your studying because it was killing you to study now when outside it was a very good and sunny day.

You wanted to take fresh air and that was the reason why you nodded your head; forgetting simply the fact that she wanted you to go to the pizza place that was near your place and the fact that couple days ago you have a very stupid and embarrassing conversation with the employe there.

‘’Let’s go.’’ You told her and opened the door widely for her. You watched as your mom walked out and straight to her car before you walked behind her steps and sat on the passenger’s seat.

Five minutes later, you had already arrived at the pizza place and hopped out of the car still unaware of the previous days events and with an airy and comfortable manner, you pushed the door opened and walked inside with your mom right beside you. You stopped in front of the cashier and waited for someone to show up. As you were looking at the menu on top of the counter, you heard a very deep, handsome and masculine and extremely familiar voice. You didn’t dare to look up for two reasons mainly.

The memories of the phone call you had couple days ago flushed back to your mind and the heat shot up on your cheeks making them red and your tongue to be caught in your throat. And secondly now that you were hearing the voice clearly your mind flashed a picture of the guy that the voice belonged to and you couldn’t help but felt again nervous and at the same time happy to finally meet the guy of your dreams.

Grayson Bailey Dolan. Yes, the famous Grayson Bailey Dolan.

‘’Hello, how can I help you with?’’ He asked you or rather your mom since she was the one that was looking at him and not you. With a rather deep breath you looked up and your eyes met with the very famous and insanely attractively handsome man in front you, the stunning hazel orbs making your cheeks get even more red and those heart shaped lips made your knees to buckle.

He smiled widely at the fact that he caught you looking at him and repeated the same question. ‘’ Hello, how can I help you with?’’ You wanted to laugh at him; he was nervous and wanted to make a good appearance. You offered him a smile and as you opened your mouth to speak you closed it again but thankfully your mom saved your ass.

‘’I ordered a bunch of pizzas, ten to be precise, but I had time to come and get them.’’ She told him and Grayson turned his gaze from you to your mom and nodded his head.

‘’Yes, of course. Just let me check the order.’’ He assured her and grabbed the small notebook they had for the orders and with his fingers pointing to the orders one by one he checked them and when his eyes landed to the specific one and they widened before a wide smile appeared on his lips. ‘’Yo, Ethan, it’s the penis girl.’’ He screamed over his shoulder and to his twin brother.

Confusion radiated off your mom, the entire store stared at you, Ethan ran to the front and the only thing that went through your mind was ‘why couldn’t I have been born as a toothbrush’. It was the most embarrassing moment of your whole life and you couldn’t find the nearest cliff to jumped from. ‘’What are you talking about?’’ Your mom asked at Grayson obviously unaware of the mini accident you had over the phone with the guy in front of her and why Grayson, a complete stranger for you, was referring you as ‘a penis girl’.

You watched your mom and then your eyes traveled to Grayson who was stoned as well and was looking between your mom and you. You begged silently for him to not say anything and get you even more embarrassed than you already were. ‘’Um, I-I… nothing. It was a joke for my brother. I’m so sorry. Your order is ready. Just let me get the pizzas over here.’’ He rubbed the back of his neck and awkwardly walked to the back of the store as your mom turned her attention at you.

‘’Well, that boy is clearly over working.’’ She stated and you small laughed. “And in emergency of sleep.”

“Mom, that guy is a YouTuber. Didn't you recognize him or his brother?” You questioned her confused, deeply knowing that your mom was not into that kind of stuff, but tried anyway.

“Well, I didn't and I don't even know what we are talking about.” Just as she said that Grayson came back and all of them boxes of pizza were in his hands. He placed them on the counter and looked at the receipt.

“That will be 60 dollars, please.” He announced and your mom grabbed her purse and gave Grayson sixty dollars exactly before taking five boxes and signing you to pick the rest. You nodded your head and watched her leaving the store before your attention was brought back to the handsome male.

“Look, I'm so sorry about the other day. I just… I am not really comfortable with phone calls and I was really nervous about actually calling even though I begged my sister to do so and that was the reason why I said what I said. I was not messing around with you or anything. And I also wanted to say that I really admire you and your brother, I'm a huge fan of your channel and what the heck are you doing here?”

Grayson was watching you talking with a dreamful look and an amused smile while waiting patiently to finish your speech. When your mouth stopped moving finally he cleared his throat mastering a brave look before he talked. “Well, everything is okay. I knew it was just a misunderstanding and that was why I joked to lighten up the mood. I'm sorry if I put you in trouble with your mom while saying ‘penis girl.’.” He moved his hands while saying so and you could not help but smile.

“Yeah, cool.”

“And thanks for supporting us. And for your answer, me and Ethan are filming a video and we tried to be actual employees but we will stopped this today because we are going to destroy the place.” He giggled, his perfectly white teeth showing as he did that.

“Oh, cool.” You said again, unsure how to actually respond to that. Grayson's hand flew back to his neck, scratching it, before he spoke again.

“So, I-I was wondering. Do you, do you wanna go out sometime?” he was stuttering because he was nervous.

Your eyes widened at his question. The Grayson Dolan was asking you to go out with him? You, out of all people? Well, that was such a shock and probably a dream. There was not happening at all.

“I...I...I...yeah...I really want to go out with you.” You finally managed to say, while mentally face palming yourself because you were such a loser when it came to attraction men.

“Perfect. Here this is my number. Text me so I can have yours and we will setup the place, time and the date.” Grayson wrote his number in a piece of paper and handed it to you while having a wide smile plastered all over his face, lightening up all his features in the progress. “Also, I didn't catch your name.”

You looked up at him and smirked. “I didn't throw it.” What a turn of personality.

At the realization of your joke Grayson burst laughing, that contagious laugh of his earning a few glances from the customers, and then turned to you. “That was a good one.” he clapped his hands.

“Thanks. And it's Y/N.” You genuinely smiled while also blushing without a specific reason.

“That is a nice name. It suits your beautiful face just perfectly.” He complimented you making blush even more, you were so hot now that if someone would touch you they would burn themselves.

“Aw, thanks.” You replied and along with Grayson you had a staring contest before a loud horn echoed from outside the store probably your mother. “I gotta go. It was nice to see you in person Grayson.”

“Me too. Hope to see you soon.”

With that you left the store while grabbing the five boxes and your phone from your pocket and quickly texting Grayson.

-hey, it's Y/N. I would like a small date please. 😌