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jakegasm · 1 year

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who you belong to | jake sully

genre: smut ♢

pairing: jake sully x omatikaya!reader

word count: 3.4k

warnings: jealous jake being mean?, spanking, vulgar language, crying, rough sex, 18+ (MINORS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DONT INTERACT)

brief info: jake just being jealous and also a meanie 👀

notes: this is my first smut in a loooooooooong time so pls go easy on me ;-; also shout out to my bestie who helped me write this @sinsandsuccubus , i love you bitch 🥺🤍

You were growing restless.

Each morning was the same. Wake up, have breakfast, and sometimes if you’re lucky you’d get a quick kiss as a departing gift. Though some days he’d be gone before sunrise leaving you to wake up to an empty hammock that the two of you share. Unfortunately for you, this was one of those mornings. Huffing you carefully swung your legs from the hammock and set your way to getting things ready for breakfast, grabbing your basket you followed your usual route to your collection site.

The walk was peaceful you couldn’t lie. The crisp morning air filled your nose sending you into absolute bliss. You enjoyed morning walks like this, the quietness soothing you in ways you wished your mate would again. The irritation builds back into you as you thought about your mate, the lack of attention from him is becoming too much to bare. You understood his absence despite you hating every bit of it. Your mate was Toruk Makto, the new olo’eyktan. Your people thought highly of him, so you understood the new responsibilities that were set before him but yet you still found loneliness within your home. It sometimes vexed you when you saw others interacting with him. Getting his attention that you so badly yearned for, yet he still wouldn’t take the hint of your desperation for him. Your fingers picked the last of the fruits from the bushes and trees the dew from morning air coated your digits and palm. With ease, you picked up your freshly picked fruit swinging the basket to your side to rest on your hip. The walk back was a bit rocky due to the extra added weight, though it was manageable. You nodded your head at others, as the forest began to wake up sending them a warm smile as a greeting.

“Would you like some help with that?” Your head turned to the side to see a rather familiar face coming into view, your face lighting up with a smile.

“I am fine. Thank you for your kindness Zu’häi.” Your smile bared your teeth at him earning you a smile in return. You didn't know Zu’häi that well, the two of you only had small conversations here and there and you could not deny that the male was very helpful and kind for a young na’vi. His hands gently and securely grabbed the basket filled with fruit from your grasp giving your slightly reddened hip a break, easily holding the basket upon his shoulder his smile wider than ever.

“I insist. Please, guide the way.” The boy was persistent and you knew that so you decided it was best that you’d let him have his way, turning your back to him you guided the way back to your hut. It was nice of him to go out of his way to help you with your daily morning routine, so in return, you wanted to thank him for his kind gesture. You held the drape that covered the opening of your hut for him to enter instructing him to place the fruit by the makeshift table you had constructed for meals. Dusting his hands the boy once again smiled beamingly at you his hands now resting on his hips. You walked past him to one of the stumps that resided at the table and tugged his hand downwards to the seat next to you.

“Please sit. I will make breakfast for you, for your kindness towards me.”

“Oh no, that is fine. I just wanted to hel-”

“Sit Zu’häi.”

Your voice is more assertive and demanding now but, your eyes never left the fruit that your hands gently sliced and peeled. Quietness was filled between you two though it was a comfortable silence. Your eyes glanced up at him every now and then, his wide eyes filled with amazement as he sat in the olo’eyktan’s home. A smile crept up on your face as you sliced a fruit holding outwards in front of you and him. His face holding confusion at the gesture.

“Eat it, it is one of my favorites.” His face relaxed though you could still see that hesitation in his movements. Rolling your eyes playfully you gently pushed the fruit to his lips, his mouth opening slightly for the fruit to have easier access. “Bite.” You instructed and as quickly as you gave orders he followed. You watched his eyes light up brightly, the amber color even more vivid as the delightful taste of the juicy fruit melted among his palette.

“Oh my that is–”

“Amazing, I know. Here–” You pushed the bowl filled with the fruit towards him.

“Take it. Take it to your family. I have more than enough.”

“Oh no I can not–”

“I insist, Zu’häi.” You finished off with a comforting smile, a smile that reflected on to him as his hands gently grasped the bowl securing as you pushed it even more towards him, persistent with your offer.

“Oh, I didn’t know we were having guests this morning.” The voice of your mate is now the center of attention. The young na’vi sprung up from his seat nearly knocking all of his fruit out of the bowl. His hand nervously brings his fingers to his forehead to properly greet your mate.

“I was just leaving, sir.” Your mate’s eyes never left yours his face already telling you what he was thinking, after a while, you looked away rising from your seat to approach Zu’häi placing a hand on his arm. You felt his body slightly jump at the sudden gesture your face itching away a smile, out the side of your eye you could see your mate was growing irritated as you touched another in front of him your smile breaking through after seeing this.

“Zu’häi, enjoy the fruit. I will have more for next time you visit.” To tease a bit you gave his arm a soothing small rub before patting his back sending him on his way. The na’vi bowed slightly before quickly passing your mate basically running out of the hut to avoid the intimidation of the olo’eyktan. Eyes burned into the back of your head when you turned your heel to him, taking a seat and continuing your task beforehand. He stood there quietly his irritation radiating off of him as he shifted his weight in place. He watched your hands delicately cut and place the fruit onto a separate leaf carefully organizing them into place, he opened his mouth the speak but was quickly cut off by the sound of your voice.

“Sit, eat.” Pushing the leaf he watched you work on previously he noticed how your eyes never left your task and how your voice didn’t have the sweetness in it like it usually did. You were upset. And he knew it was all his fault. But his stubbornness wouldn’t have allowed him to admit that. Following instructions, he adjusted the brace that rested around his torso snapping it open to remove the piece of clothing before setting it aside next to him on the ground.

The two of you ate in silence, it was killing him that you merely spoke a word to him. His mind practically begged him to ask you about the events that occurred before his arrival. Picking his eyes up from his meal he watched your figure across from him, everything about you was angelic to him. You ate staring out the small cut of your hut the sunlight beaming on your skin hitting you at all the right angles. You were glowing. He hadn’t noticed how long he had been staring before your hands were clapping in front of him. Confused he snapped back into reality to realize that you were asking to take his leaf and that he wanted seconds. Denying the offer he gave his now empty leaf watching while you discarded the leaves and cleared the table. He observed your body closer this time, starting from your head to your toe. Your lips had just the right plump to them something he always loved imagining how it would feel to suck on them lightly or even nip at them. The curve of your breast which was currently covered by a neckpiece designed with red and white feathers gave him access to peek at your nipples that poked through every time you bent down slightly. His eyes traveled more down your body stopping at your hips, his eyes squinting when he noticed the red marks that resided on your hips. His hand wrapped around your hip the size of it securely holding it, a loud gasp escaped your mouth at the sudden action. His thumb grazed the spot tenderly careful enough not to hurt you in case it was causing you any type of pain. You were about to make a fuss until you studied his face, his eyebrows were scrunched together and his lips were slightly pursed.

“It is from the basket I was carrying earlier.” His eyes never left your hips the roughness from the pad of his thumb never leaving your skin. “Though Zu’häi came by to help me carry it.” His nose flared at this, the more you mentioned his name the more he felt the fire in him spread and grow bigger.

“Zu’häi huh?” Was all he could say biting the inside of his cheek, his irritation now turning into anger the more you two spoke about him. He knew the male all too well. He was olo’eyktan after all, he needed to know his people. Inside and out. This name you two spoke of whispered amongst people in the forest gossiping on how the male wanted you despite you already being mated. He had heard the male was determined and willing to sacrifice anything just to have you. But this isn’t what triggered him. He had caught wind with his own two ears of how the male wanted to mate you, every detail of your body explained, every position he’d want to put you in, and how much he wanted to implant his child within you. This is what set the fire ablaze within him. Jake knew he always had the upper hand when it came to you, though somehow as of lately he felt somewhat intimidated by the other male. Something that rarely ever happened. He needed to set the record straight, and let everyone know who you really belong to. You had only hummed a response to him ignoring how the grip on your hips got tighter, but not tight enough to keep you in place as you glide your way across the shared room. You felt his intimidating eyes bore into the back of your skull and you’d be lying if you said it didn’t bother you though you refused to acknowledge him and his death stare.

“What are your plans for today?” Clearing your throat you waited for a response while busying yourself with the folding of your blankets that were gifted to you by one of the elders. You heard him shift in his seat and shuffle with something you couldn’t make out. “Why was Zu’häi here?” He ignored your question, his curiosity now getting the best of him. His breathing now slowed and controlled as he tried his hardest to not raise his voice not even an octave to make you suspicious of the question, though his tone had already given away his frustration.

“The boy helped me when it was not needed, so I thanked him in return for a meal.” Your answer was solid and straightforward, though the thought of you two being in here alone knowing the male's intention sent his blood boiling at your cluelessness. “He likes you, ya know?” You only gave him a laugh in return shaking your head in denial. “He wants to mate you too.” The words that slipped past his lips sent his anger into overdrive, only this time you actually made eye contact with him. Your hands rested on your hips and your face scrunched up in confusion.

“Now why would you say that jake?”

“Because it’s the truth, I heard it for myself. I don’t want you talking to him anymore.” You scoffed at him clearly not believing anything he was saying to you, and boy did that finally flip the switch in him. Quickly he sprung up from his seat and approached you in a determined stride his body now looming over yours. Finally looking into his eyes you noticed the anger that swirled in them, you almost felt bad for him. Almost. Your previous nights and days of loneliness came flooding back to you, how you desperately yearned for him but were always met with a cold place in which he held.

“I do not care what you have to say about him. Zu’häi is a nice boy, I will continue to talk to him if I please.” You were about to walk off but a strong grip on your arm yanked you back into your place, the death grip on your arm burning. “I’m not asking you, I’m telling you.” His voice spoke lowly with a warning tone to it, he was fighting every ounce in his body to stop himself from finally snapping. “And I am telling you. I will continue to see Zu’häi if I ple-” your sentence was cut short by his quick and swift motion of pining you down face first on the woven hammock nearly knocking all the air out of your body from the sudden action. His grip on your arm never let up as he now rested it against your back while his body pressed fully into you. You wiggled in his hold but to no avail you couldn’t free yourself, his grip being too tight.

“I tried to be nice about it but you make everything so fucking difficult.” His words spit venom out at you while he admired how delightful the curve of your ass was propped up so nicely in the air for him to see. “Looks like i need to show you who you belong to.” He felt himself twitch just below his navel at the site, his other free hand smoothing over the skin of your ass tenderly before delivering a powerful smack to it followed by another tender caress. The repeated actions had you whimpering before him with tears pooling in your eyes not realizing how much this was actually turning you on, the last smack he delivered landed way too closely on your sensitive bud allowing a loud moan to erupt from you.

“Oh? You like getting spanked?” You shook your head vigorously though you knew he knew that you were lying, your dampened cloth proving it. His fingers traced the outline of your loincloth before hooking two fingers under and pulling to the side to reveal all of your glistening glory. He smiled to himself before leaning into you just enough for his chest to touch your back, his breath hitting your ear as he spoke to you. “You know I don’t like liars.” His fingers massaged gently between your folds while he spoke to you enjoying how you were writhing underneath him.

“What did I tell you what happens to liars?” He continued his middle and ring finger teasingly pushing at your entrance sending your brain into a frenzy. You mumbled out a response while desperately trying to relieve the ache that was getting too much for you to handle.

“I didn’t hear you babygirl, you have to speak louder than that.”

“They get punished!” You were basically yelling at him but you didn’t care, you were becoming an absolute complete mess under him. He hummed in satisfaction before leaning up again straightening his posture, your arm now being freed from his grip though he knew you weren’t going to try to run away. Not now anyway. In a blink of an eye, the cloth that shielded all of your wonders dropped at your feet, your body now out on full display for him. Watching your body exposed to him made him realize how long it's been since the last time you two had done anything like this. Definitely too long, that's for sure.

He was practically drooling over you when he used his thumbs to spread your folds watching as your hold clenched over nothing, his own ache now becoming too much to bear. Wasting no time he quickly undid his own loincloth letting it fall to the floor, his dick springing up hitting just the base of his lower belly grabbing ahold of his own length he gently teased and pushed at your entrance. “j-jake.” He ignored your pleas and continued his torture, you rocked your hips back just enough for his tip to slip in, a moan emitting from the both of you. His hands gripped your waist urgently to prevent you from moving back any further before pushing you off of him, your body fully sinking into the hammock.

“Don’t get too bold now baby, or you’re not gonna cum. I’m just going to use you like the toy you are for my own pleasure and leave you high and dry. Is that what you want?” He spoke with a grunt, placing his hand on the lower part of your back to hold you down.

You shook your head no, earning an immediate smack to the ass.

“Use your words.”

“No.”

“No, what?”

“No sir.”

“Good girl.” He pulled you back into position by your hips, your back arched, breast pressed into the hammock.

“Spread it for me.” He spoke huskily, to which you rapidly moved your hands to your cheeks, pulling them apart as he moaned, running his tip over your slick.

He slipped into quickly, drawing moans from the both of you, before he pulled out, a “pop” sound coming from your pussy. He repeated the action, teasing you for what felt like hours, your hole clenching around nothing.

“Please… sir…. Fuck me please.” You moaned out, your body beginning to shake.

“Well, since you said please.” Jake slipped into your solidly, pounding you immediately at a fast pace, giving you no time to adjust to him.

The tip of his dick kissed your cervix, skin slapping sounds echoing through the room, alongside the wet sounds from your pussy.

“Push back into me.” He grunted, landing a hard smack on your ass. You followed his order, matching his speed as he fucked you, a hand slithering down to rub your clit.

That is, until he bent down and grabbed you by the throat, pulling you against his broad chest.

“You don’t touch yourself without my permission. This is MY pussy, MY clit. Do you understand me? You just carry it around for me.” He spoke, his grip getting tighter on your neck.

All you could do is moan and nod your head, Jake moving his hand from your neck to cross your chest, his other hand that rested on your hips now moving to your clit.

“Shit! Jake, please!.”

“Mhmm. Feels good doesn’t it. You wanna cum don’t you?”

“p-please!”

“Apologize. Apologize to me and I’ll let you have it.”

“I’m sorry Jake, m’so sorry. It’ll never happen again. I promise.”

“And you won’t see Zu’häi again? Not even look his way?”

“y—y-yes! god, yes! I won’t i—i promise!”

“Mm, good girl. Now go ahead, cum for me.” And at his command you came, euphoria flooding your veins as you creamed all over his dick, him pushing you off of him to release on the small of your back.

“Fuck.” He grunted, running his hand up and down his shaft quickly. Your knees buckled underneath your brain completely turned into mush while you struggled to catch the breath that escaped your body. You felt the hot strings explode across your back before his chest collided with your back propping himself up to avoid putting all of his weight on you, his breathing rough and ragged.

“You okay?” he asked you puffing out spurts of air, you only nodded your head unable to form any words. With the little bit of strength he had left in him he carefully took a place behind you as he moved the both of you fully into the hammock, your face nuzzling into his chest listening to his heartbeat pound against his chest. You two lied there for a few moments not speaking a word, only this time the silence was peaceful.

“I’m serious about you not seeing Zu’häi. I don’t want it to happen again or ever.” His voice rumbled in his chest while your fingers danced along tracing shapes and words into his skin, your lip captivated by your teeth to hide your smile.

“You have my word.” And with that, the two of you decided to make the best of this moment and enjoy the peace and serenity of your embrace, letting all of the days duties drizzle away.

#avatar fanfiction #jake sully #loak sully #avatar twow #neytiri #neteyam #jake sully x reader #neteyam x reader #avatar angst #loak x reader #jake sully fluff #jake sully smut #avatar smut

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vampyrsm · 1 year

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warnings; mentions of death (not bakugou or reader), injuries mention, blood mention, teeny tiny bit of angst that turns into fluffy comfort, baby used as a pet name.

There's a buzz of your phone on the kitchen table at 8:32pm, you don't make a quick dash to get it - already cooking dinner for when your husband gets home later that night.

Another 15 minutes pass, and there's no more buzz which can only mean it's one thing. Katsuki tried to call you. He's never one for calling twice, he likes to be quick and precise. If you're busy, he gets it. He doesn't pester. You love that about him, he respects your space because you respect the time he takes for his job.

Finally meandering over to your phone, you're not surprised to see the (1) New Voice Message! on your screen. You press it, going through the motions of pressing 2, then 3, and finally it starts to play.

There's some sort of background noise, maybe just the busy street he's currently patrolling. It's awkwardly quiet at first, always is with Katsuki on the phone. A man who prefers a face-to-face conversation.

"Hi, I was just callin' to uh—" He clears his throat, and there's a scuff of his boots on the concrete. "Just callin' to tell you how much I love ya, you mean the fuckin' world to me and—...yeah, I love you."

It's uncharacteristically sweet, so to say, for Katsuki. He only reserves that kind of adoration when he's in the safety and comfort of your arms in bed, or when you both share a late-night glass of wine on his weekends off.

It makes your stomach drop. There's something in his tone, he sounds sad. Something Bakugou Katsuki is not known for. He's known to be brimstone and fire, with sharp edges and mean scowls to anyone who doesn't know him.

Something just isn't right.

It's around 11:12pm when Bakugou finally gets back to the agency, his shoulders ache and his neck burns something fierce from holding up the weight of his gauntlets all evening. He rubs a gloved hand through his hair, pushing it out of his face when graced with the beautiful blast of the A/C when he crosses through the threshold.

The agency is quiet at this time of the night, something he's thankful for. The receptionist is usually gone by now, and only the night shift sidekicks should be on the 14th floor where they get ready for a long night of chasing villains.

He's a bit late returning from the end of his patrol; some fucking idiot trying to mug an elderly man on his patrol route. It should've only taken him five minutes tops but the guy had some sort of slime quirk, aka ridiculously difficult to get a hold of.

But he did it, and now he's back in the safe confines of his agency. He can shower when he gets home he reasons, he doesn't want to be apart from you any longer than necessary.

Today was... rough. To say the least, one of the first cases he has to take point on was difficult. Not in the sense that it was a skill issue on his end, he's a well-seasoned pro. Instead, this was because of the parties involved. There was a woman, a fiancée. Bakugou had arrived at the scene midway through, a call from another hero requesting backup. It wasn't on his usual route but it wasn't too far.

Anyway, once he got there he was confronted with something that had his heart genuinely aching. The woman mentioned before, was covered in soot and ash, the colour of her hair a muted dusty grey from what must've been from the concrete walls next to her that had been blown open.

But the most damning thing was the blood coating her face, and her hands and she was crying. God was she crying, it took everything in Bakugou to focus on the part of his training he had to take over and over as an up-and-coming pro. He had to be supportive, he managed to wrangle the woman down from near hysteria until she was crumpling in on herself as he held her whilst waiting for the ambulance.

The words she spoke stuck with him the most, she had mentioned the blood wasn't hers. Nor was it the suspects. It was her fiancé's. She said that she was just meeting up with him, that he had been away for a few days at work and they were going to go for a nice lunch together.

But it never happened, the wall of the shop next to them crushed him on impact leaving her standing in the aftermath.

"I never got to tell him I loved him today, I was—I was so busy with work. I, I thought I'd wait until I saw him. To kiss him, tell him I love him but I—I never got to."

It fucking made Bakugou sick. The thought of you being wiped away just like that made him uneasy, you both knew it was possible but he did his hardest to ensure it never fucking happened.

Because Bakugou doesn't know what he'd do without you.

So he left that voicemail, he wanted to actually speak to you but he was just starting his shift and he knew you'd be busy. He didn't think much about what he said, nor did he think that it'd get him into so much trouble the second he stepped into his office.

Immediately, he freezes at what he sees.

Eijirou is comforting you. Now, Bakugou isn't a jealous man and he doesn't make assumptions. But he is confused as to just why Eijirou is comforting you, and why are you crying?

He doesn't get the chance to speak though. You practically leap out of Kirishima's arms, the redhead startled enough to actually let you go and he wishes he doesn't when he sees you lunge for Bakugou.

But he relaxes, a bit, when you glue yourself to Bakugou's front with your arms tight around his neck to pull him a little more down to your level.

"Baby, wha—"

"You! You motherfucker!" You all but hoarsely yell, your eyes are all puffy and red from crying and he can't fucking think what the fuck he's done wrong to be called a motherfucker whilst also being hugged by you. Just what the fuck is going on?

"I thought you were dead!" Now he's even more confused! His eyebrows furrow, lips parting as if to silently ask what you mean but you continue anyway. "Never, ever, send me a voicemail like that again. I thought it was your dying declaration or something!"

Ah. He gets it now. He did send that voicemail right after he was free to leave the scene, he didn't realise his emotions were so visible when he sent that voicemail.

His face softens, tired arms wrapping around you until you're crushed against him. Bakugou presses his forehead to yours, taking a deep breath in to be washed over by the soft scent of your body wash.

"'M so sorry baby, just... Just had a rough day, really needed you to know how much you mean to me."

"You're so stupid, you know that? Of course I know you lov—" He cuts you off with a shake of his head, quietly asking you to not fight him on this. So you don't. You just let him hold you, let him kiss your cheek - your nose, and finally your lips.

Kirishima awkwardly clears his throat causing Bakugou to uncurl himself from you. Kirishima only offers him a wobbly smile, something Bakugou knows as Ei trying his hardest to not cry about how 'manly' it is to say how much you love your partner.

"You should check your phone more man. I was two seconds away from sending out a search party to find Dynamight." Kirishima is always one to continue a conversation, easing it away from the sad atmosphere that developed.

Bakugou scoffs, cocking an eyebrow. "Two seconds? Why hesitate, Ei? You want my spot that bad?"

Now it's Kirishima's turn to splutter, scoffing in disbelief but Bakugou can't focus on whatever Kirishima might be saying in response when he hears your soft laughter.

A reminder that you're right here with him, in his arms, and that you know just how deep his love runs for you.

#bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader

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zhongrin · 11 months

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| ◆ ch. vago mundo ⑊ zhongli

--⟢ i. tales passed down for generations | the people of liyue know of many tales…

𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑚𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 ⬙ 𝑚𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝑚𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 ⬙ 𝑡𝑎𝑔𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡

◇ tags ◇ (all tags from the series masterlist), sagau, pure fluff, dragon!li

◇ a/n ◇ yk what i told myself i won't post this until after i wrote the liyue chapter but ✨i✨don't✨care✨anymore✨ hsdlkfjskldjf i have no idea when i'll update universe abound and this has been sitting on my drafts for FAR too long... besides, it can be read as a standalone anyway. now. once again i am here to tell you that dragon!zhongli is love, dragon!zhongli is life. thank you for attending my ted talk-

you stare.

dark brown scales, decorated with shining gold lines seem to pulse under the sunlight filtering through the curtains.

you stare harder.

the long appendage twitches before it shifts to hide behind the man standing right in front of you.

"your grace," morax coughs awkwardly into his fist and upon being greeted with your silence, decides to go back to fiddle with the coat he was halfway putting on before you barged in, "i believe it is still… thirty minutes before our scheduled stroll. is something the matter?"

instead of answering, you blurt out in an amazed voice, like a young child that just spotted their favorite candy, "you have a tail!"

"i… yes, well, considering that i am a dragon, and they do have tails-"

"it's so pretty! why don't you have it out more often?"

the genuine enthusiasm in your voice makes him smile.

"it's- ah, it could be an inconvenience sometimes."

you blink, not understanding the meaning of his words. he gives you a bashful look and proceeds to focus on his garments instead. knowing that he's not going to elaborate anymore, you choose to study the scaly appendage - unlike morax's still body, it's twitching and swaying around where it rests on the floor, almost as if…

….. hmm?

"zhongli."

"yes?"

"i love you."

the sudden confession makes him go still, and you observe his reactions in interest.

"i love you too, dearest."

aside from the short pause and the elegant smile on his lips, the man looks as dignified and unaffected as ever. however, your impossibly wide grin strains your cheeks as you eye the rhythmic thumping of his tail against the floor.

"rex lapis," you gasp, "… are you wagging your tail???"

"ahem. c-certainly not, i don't-"

"oh. my. god. that is the cutest thing ever!"

"............ beloved….."

"no no no no no if you hide your tail then i'm revoking our daily walks and regular kisses!"

zhongli's tail perks up and begins to sway anxiously, and you feel like crying from how adorable this whole thing is.

"now, let us not take such drastic measures, darling. i believe this matter can be discussed, perhaps over some tea-"

"please please please let me pet your tail!"

your lover's cheeks flush pink, and you feel like the happiest deity in teyvat.

people of liyue have heard of many tales. stories about adeptus protecting liyue behind the city itself, of fearsome plains drenched in monster dust as they were struck down by their god, of the stone gate collapsing and effectively cutting off supply routes from the city of freedom - not that it has been used for quite some time now….

people of liyue have seen many things. terrifying disasters almost sinking their whole city into oblivion, their beloved archon appearing once more and taking charge against vicious monsters overrunning teyvat's landscapes, their own creator coming into liyue after continuous years of prayers and offerings…

but never in their life they would have thought the day would come when they see the god of contracts himself - known for hurling stone pillars that now stand as guyun stone forest, vanquishing countless gods in the archon wars, and sealing many divine beasts who have run rampant across the land - stroll about the city arm-in-arm with the divine creator, his draconic tail proudly in full display and gently swaying side to side as the two converses softly, eyes staring deeply into each other's akin to lovers who hadn't seen each other in eons.

they see it, and they think: yes, this tale too, shall be passed down to the younger generations.

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #rex lapis #morax #zhongli #zhongli x reader #universe abound #rin writes

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htchnr · 4 months

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03 ★ heartless love crime ❥ ch: no one else will do but you.

➻❥ masterlist. ➻❥ buy me a coffee!

CW ➻ aaron being a jerk again ⋆ mention of sex ⋆ piv ⋆ unprotected sex ⋆ creampie ⋆ name calling (slut) ⋆ if i missed anything, lmk!

SUMMARY ➻ Hotchner laughed on the other side of the line. "You sound sad. He turned out to not be the man of your dreams?" No. He was better. Bryan was the perfect gentleman, which was why you couldn't pursue anything with him. He wasn't Hotchner. WC ➻ 2,7k.

AUTHORS NOTE ➻ hi 😁 this is not a nice series! i want to make that clear!! Hotch is toxic, rude and awful in this. (yet so hot at the same time uhg)

★ - © 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 𝐇𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐍𝐑. 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲, 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦, 𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫! - ★

➻❥ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫. ➻❥ 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫.

Your foot tapped restlessly in the taxi cab. You dropped your head into your hands, cursing yourself over and over. Currently, you were supposed to be ten minutes into the date.

Unfortunately, you were ten minutes late.

Last night, you stayed slumped over the counter for another minute before you cleaned the mess. It was a feat wherein you wet one of your washcloths and attempted to crouch to the floor to clean, but you could already feel a soreness settling in and opted to lay on your side like Rose from Titanic and clean your floor that way. It was about as seductive as you felt, not at all.

Getting back up had been an even greater feat, your groans filled the apartment as you used all your core strength to lift yourself by gripping the counter. It was a sad sight to see. You managed to wipe down the countertop and nearly did your thighs, before deciding the rag was too dirty and tossed it in your laundry. Then, you showered and went to bed. Though, the clock was well past 3 by the time you fell asleep.

You wanted to be up by 9 am to get ready for your 11 am brunch. Instead, you slept through your alarm and woke at 10:30 and the fastest route to the cafe was 20 minutes away. Fine, right? No. You rushed to get ready and were still out the door by 10:50.

The cab slowed to a stop. You leaned forward and paid the fare, before stepping out of the taxi. You brushed your hair down, smoothed down your outfit, did any other last-minute fixes. It wouldn't help, you figured, being that you were late. The best you could do was dress colorful as well as warm, wearing your favorite sweater for this date. You made your way to the building, taking a deep breath to stave off the butterflies that threatened your stomach.

You placed a hand on your stomach the second you entered, only for your eyes to rake over all the heads. It was then you realized you didn't know which of these people was your date. God, it'd be ten times more embarrassing if your date left.

Thankfully, someone called your name from a table in the middle of the cafe. You made your way around the scattered placement of tables and chairs, to come face to face with a handsome man. The one way you would describe his attire was dapper. He wore a sweater vest and that was enough to hold your attention.

He stood from the chair to greet you, the both of you awkwardly standing, unsure of what to do, before he gestured for you to "please, sit" and you shook off your coat. You set it on the back of your chair, sliding in the chair with a polite smile. He returned it with one of his own.

"So," you started, "you're Susan's friend."

"Yeah, I'm Bryan." He nodded, opening his hand for emphasis. "Yeah, Susan got tired of hearing about my single life and she decided to play cupid."

You laughed. "She does that." You cleared your throat. "Uh, I'm sorry about being late. It was-"

"Oh, you don't need to explain yourself." He held up a hand. "Please, I got here a minute ago myself. I almost thought you left already and was about to get up to go until I saw you come in the door."

"That's reassuring." You didn't know what else to talk about, turning to take in the interior of the cafe. "This place feels so cozy."

"Doesn't it? It's on my way to work, so I stop by when I can."

You looked back at him, taking in his features. Dark hair, green eyes, thick, rectangular glasses that framed his round face. You didn't think you could guess his job based on appearance. He didn't carry the air of the people you usually were around. "Where do you work?"

"I'm a pharmacist."

"Oh," you nodded. Not a bad profession to be in, not at all. "And you stop here-oh, should we order drinks?"

"I already ordered."

"You did?"

"Yeah. When I was still holding out that you hadn't arrived yet. I hope you don't mind that I picked a drink for you."

"Not at all." You shook your head, a small laugh slipping past you. "I'm curious now. I like a little surprise once in a while."

"Glad to hear." His eyes flicked to the counter hearing his order. Standing from his seat, he dipped his head to you. "I'll be right back."

You placed your head in your hand, glancing around the establishment. In the pocket of your coat, your phone vibrated. You brought it out, seeing a message from Susan. She asked how the date was going. You sent her a reply that Bryan seemed nice, but your screen transitioned to an icon of a phone with rings rippling behind it. It buzzed in your hand, the name Hotchner flashed in bright, white font.

Your mouth fell open in your hand, but you quickly shut it. He knew you were on your date. You just stared at the screen, mind racing with too many thoughts. The frontmost thought among the rest was to answer the call, but you just set your phone on the table and muted it. The screen darkened but lit up again shortly after. You just held your mouth in your hand, elbow on the table, watching the screen.

"Do you need to take that?"

You looked up at Bryan, slipping back into his seat. In his hand, a drink carrier with two coffees on opposite sides, the other parts of the carrier with two wrapped donuts. He took the items out, sliding your coffee and donut to you, before taking his own. He glanced curiously at your phone.

You shook your head, covering the screen. "It's just a scammer, I think."

He hummed as you stuck your phone in your coat pocket. "Those can be annoying."

"So," you reached for the coffee, reading the label, "chocolate raspberry? That sounds good."

"I hope so. It's my usual." He beamed, watching you raise the hot cup to your lips. You took a small sip, mindful of the heat. His face glowed from your pleased hum. "Good, right?"

"It's more bitter than I would have thought, but still has a sweetness to it." You nodded. "I like it."

The rest of the date ran smoothly. You two opened the packaging for your donuts, iced chocolate with sprinkles over them. It was a nice change of pace from eating alone in your apartment, to have someone to share a laugh with from the frosting that coats your upper lips. All in all, you felt good.

As you both put on your coats and tossed your trash, he held the door open for you to leave first. You smiled from the gesture, unused to this kindness from a man trying to court you. He followed you to the edge of the sidewalk, waving down a taxi. Again, he held the door for you before getting in himself.

"Where to next?" You asked.

"The aquarium, actually." He gave the address to the cabbie, then turned back to you. "Is that alright with you?"

"It's perfect," you said. "It's been so long since I've been to an aquarium."

"Well, you're in luck. They've added new features to this one that I think you'll enjoy."

You took his word for it, engaging in small talk with him about your favorite films. He shyly admitted he enjoyed Star Wars the most, having seen the last movie in theaters as a kid. You waved off his worry and told him it was a classic. He knew how to hold a conversation and had you laughing lightly behind your hand the whole ride. You weren't even mindful of the traffic with him to distract you.

The aquarium was lovely. You took your time through each exhibit, admiring the seahorse exhibit most. In front of the large tank, a floor-to-ceiling glass window provided a view of all the larger aquatic life that swam on the other side. The blue waters reflected over your figures in soft light, waving over your clothes like you were underwater as well.

At one point, you two stopped at the baby ray tank, where you could pet them. You insisted Bryan did it first, a bit scared, but he only shivered when a ray swam under his hand. You laughed at his minute disgust.

"It's not as smooth as I thought," he said.

It was enough to convince you to feel for yourself, standing so close to him. Your eyes were wide once the baby ray swam under you, lowering your fingertips for a good feel, and shivering just as he did. You hadn't expected the texture to be so rough, like sandpaper.

At one end of the room, you both got hand sanitizer and paper towels to dry your hands. You glanced over as a few people yelped in surprise while others laughed. A number of them had wet spots on their shirts as a little ray swam away. You giggled with Bryan when he mentioned that could've been you two.

At one point, in a dark room, surrounded by moon jellyfish, you were next to him. He said something you didn't quite hear but still laughed at, then he turned to you. You turned to him. Both of you were smiling. The smile dropped as he leaned his head in.

Your heart fluttered, eyes half-lidded. You started to lean in too, closing your eyes fully. This would have been perfect.

Except, you imagined another man in his place.

Your eyes shot open, seeing the slicked back brown hair, rather than the dirty blonde hair of Bryan. You shook your head, leaning away and a small sound bubbled up to your throat. This was wrong. You couldn't kiss one man and fantasize about another.

Bryan opened his eyes, picking up on your discomfort.

It was a nice distraction from reality while it lasted. Grounded in reality, you backed away from him, shaking your head. His eyebrows knitted together, confused by your action. Your shoulders hunched, sinking into yourself as your lips pulled down the slightest.

"I'm sorry, but I don't think I can do this."

He nodded in understanding. "It's okay. We don't have to kiss. If you want, we can take it slow."

"No, I-" You wrapped your arms around your middle, looking down. You couldn't face this kind man. He didn't deserve you. He deserved someone better, someone, who wasn't preoccupied with another man.

The date ended shortly after. Exiting the building, he followed you down the sidewalk, waving a cab down and opening the door for you. He said he'd take a different cab. You bit your lip, feeling bad. "You seem like a great guy, Bryan, really, but I'm sorry. I don't think I'm ready to date."

He bit his cheek looking properly dejected. "I understand." In an attempt to lighten the mood, he forced a smile for you. "I enjoyed the date, nonetheless."

You returned his smile, just as bittersweet. "Me too."

You slipped into the cab and he closed the door for you. As you gave the cabbie your address, you pulled out your phone, seeing the screen light up. You clicked the call button and brought the device to your ear.

"Your date over?"

"Yes."

Hotchner laughed on the other side of the line. "You sound sad. He turned out to not be the man of your dreams?"

No. He was better. Bryan was the perfect gentleman, which was why you couldn't pursue anything with him. He wasn't Hotchner.

"Did you need something?"

"Yeah. Come to the video store."

He gave you an address that you iterated to the cabbie without a second thought. It didn't occur to you until you finished talking and he hung up that you were about to spend time with another man, right after your date finished. You couldn't allow yourself peace of mind for at least an hour before jumping back to Aaron.

He stood next to the entrance, leaned against the wall as your cab pulled up. You approached him, to which he rolled around a sucker in his mouth.

"Took you long enough."

"It's-" you glanced at your phone, well past one, "-the afternoon. You know traffic gets heavy around this time."

"Uh-huh."

You nodded to the sucker in his mouth. "You have another one?"

He sucked on it before he loudly popped it out of his mouth. "As a matter of fact, you can have mine." You didn't have enough time to process what he meant before he grabbed your chin and parted your lips enough to stick it in. A shiver rolled down your spine at the thought of his saliva in your mouth. "I didn't want it anymore, anyways."

You closed your mouth, sucker rested atop your tongue. Tentatively, you rolled it to the side of your mouth, holding the stick between pinched fingers to help move it. He pushed off the wall and entered the automated doors with you on his heels.

To your utter horror, you realized as you delved deeper into the store, Aaron made a beeline for the adult film section. You stopped several feet away, mouth shut tight and eyes wide.

He glanced over at you. "What are you standing there for?"

"I, uh..." You glanced from him to the label above the shelves. "What do you need from here?"

"Figured that'd be obvious."

You still had yet to move. "Um."

"Don't be a baby." Hotchner frowned just the tiniest bit, hardly bothered by your shyness, but wanting to make a show of how childish you were acting. He made a 'come' gesture with his hand, placing it on his hip. "Nobody's even paying attention."

"Yeah, but-"

"You'll make it weird by standing over there. Come here."

You sucked on your teeth, tongue flat on the roof of your mouth. You crossed your arms but made your way over to him, gaze locked on the carpet floor under your shoes to not make any eye contact with the other customers.

"There, was that so hard?" He said as you joined his side. Your gaze flickered up at the covers, scantily clad people in suggestive poses. Heat pooled in your belly and rushed to your cheeks, body aflame with embarrassment.

"I don't want to hear it." You pouted.

He scoffed, scanning the rows from top to bottom, taking a step back the lower he got. He hummed to himself at the selection. "You ever watched one before?"

You kept your gaze on the side of his face, to his sunglasses, not comfortable looking at the covers in a space where others could judge you for standing there. "No."

He tapped his fingers on his hip, turned to you, and cocked his head at them. "You pick."

"What? No. You pick it."

"I want to see what you'd be interested in." He smirked.

You let your eyes slide over to the shelves. You couldn't deny you were curious, just a bit, but you didn't want to be the one to decide. That'd only cement this all for you.

"What makes this any different from doing it yourself?"

You pouted at him. "I don't want to watch someone else."

He gave you a long stare, the corners of his mouth twitching. It was a short minute of his staring, before he broke into a smile, snickering to himself. "I'm just fucking with you."

It was like a bucket of cold water had been dumped over you, body alert and rushing with blood. All you could manage out was a shocked, "what?"

He walked to the other end of the video store to the counter. The teen behind the counter looked up from their magazine as he gave his name. He reached under the counter and pulled out a movie cover for some martial arts movie. Hotchner nodded to the kid and promptly left with you in tow like some kicked puppy.

"That wasn't funny," you said outside of the store.

He shrugged. "It was a little funny."

You only shook your head and pushed the sucker to the other side of your mouth.

Aaron went home with you. No surprise there. It should've been expected that, as the door closed behind him, he was glued to you and whispering dirty things in your ear. He said something about the adult films, something you didn't catch but was sure that anything spilled out of his mouth would be pure filth.

He didn't say anything about your date as he set his movie on your kitchen counter. You didn't think of your date as he undressed you in your bedroom. The day's events spilled to the back of your mind as you both fell naked onto the sheets.

The only thing that filled both your mind and body was Aaron. His muscles, his dick, his breathy moans that fanned your face. He kept his gaze locked on you while he fucked you. The headboard banged hard into the wall, but it was background noise to the sounds of your skin slapping at your pelvis.

You arched your back, gripping the sheets tightly. He had one hand on the headboard, his other arm wrapped around your thigh. You had one leg over his shoulder for better access, for him to hit you deeper.

He called you his slut, you said you were his slut. He called you filthy things, things that only spurred you on. Your body burned in a lustful shame, but you could only moan and cry and let him say those things. It didn't matter if they were true or not, it came from his mouth and that was all that mattered.

You managed five orgasms, probably a new record, before he came inside you. Breathless, slumped on the bed, your leg slid off his shoulder as he crawled off of the bed. He took out a cigarette and sat on the edge of the bed to smoke. Your head lolled to the side and you thought about opening the window after he left.

It was still light out, but you were overcome with fatigue. Sweaty, filled with cum, you had barely rolled over, bringing the comforter over you from the side and closing your eyes. You were asleep before you could hear Hotchner leave.

You dreamt of a man kissing you.

#⋆୨🩷©2024 htchnr #⋆୨⭐️aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner #aaron hotch hotchner #aaron hotch hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner smut #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner series #aaron hotch smut

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windsweptinred · 1 year

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Sir Robert Gadling, Champion of Earth

It was a rare thing, for someone of his somewhat, irregular age bracket to experience what could truly be defined as a new sight.

But Dream of the Endless, sprawled belly down on the grassy land that lay between the New Inn and the river bank. Dark coat, draped about him like great, dark moth wings. Ear to the earth, cheek settled gently against buttercups and dandelion clocks. Smiling serenely to himself. That was definitely a first.

Leaving the door to the pubs main entrance ajar and depositing the outdoor menu board on route. Hob sauntered over to the prostrate Endless, bending low at the waist to meet two blue eyes. Peaking out from behind a rather monstrous sprout of daisies.

"Taking a nap in the sun, Duck?"

Dream regarded him momentarily before rolling onto his back. His ebony mane a wash with errant leaves and wild flower petals.

"I was listening."

Kneeling at his side, Hob swept a stray dandelion seed from his cheek, smiling indulgently.

"Ah, communing with nature is it?"

Recieving nought but a small, mischievous smirk in answer, he huffed a laugh. Flopping down onto the grass to mirror his partner.

"Alright, keep your secrets. You great, silly creature."

Turing on his side, head rested on his palm, he reached out, idly stroking the under side of Dream's chin. Watching his lover extend the pale collum of his neck in pleasure. Feeling a purr of gratification rumble down the lithe body. Great creature indeed.

"Since you're here, I've been thinking. About what we talked about when we last met. About some humans, being... What was the word you used? Marked? Yes, marked for an specific Endless. Well, if I'm Death's because of... Well you know. Or Desire's or whoever. I wonder if they'd be up for swapsies? I'm not much of a wordsmith, I know. But if there's any cosmic entity I have to swear my allegiance to, I'd want no other monarch then you love."

Dream regarded him silently for a moment, before capturing his free hand, pressing a reverent kiss to the mount of venus.

" You are not, nor shall ever be bound to either myself, nor any of my siblings. Though you have thrived uncommonly in each of our realms. You owe fealty to a much kinder sovereign. "

Hob balked at that.

"Who, God? Because quite frankly no thank you! The few centuries worth of confesssional catch up alone is horrifying to consider!"

Stars flared in his companion eyes as he graced him with an amused look.

"They do indeed have their chosen. Those saints and prophets who serve them in life and are called in death to the Heavens. But no... "

Dream took his hand, placing it lightly upon the ground, so to not crush the shards of grass beneath. Then, placed his own atop, entwining their fingers, pushing their nails and fingertips slightly into the soil below.

"She who has laid claim to you, sits here, beside you, beneath and above you. There are few beings who have walked her lands as long as you, and have resisted the lure of the occult. You remain as human, as earth born as when your lady mother bore you. And you are loved for it. Robert Gadling, meet she who has been called Tonantzin, Hou Tu, Bhuma. Third child of Via Lactea. By the ancient lore of these lands, she is Danu. But perhaps you would recognise her as Gaea or Terra. The Great Lady Mother Earth."

He felt it then, the ground around him, bracketing his body, as if being craddelled protectively in the palm of a hand. The pulsing in the sway of the blooms, in each ripple of the river. Like breathing or the drum of ancient heartbreat. The knowledge of a mother's eyes upon you while you play. The assurance of her protective gaze.

"She has kept you sheltered under her branches when you lacked hearth and home. She has granted you food and water when human hands denied you them. She has kept the water below you calm and the soil underfoot steady. Even now, she keeps my younger siblings from nipping at your heals. In return you have asked for no more from her then what was needed. And conitue to honour and protect her. You have earned her favour above 8 billion of your brothers and sisters Sir Gadling. Not a meger feat."

Humbled by the magnitude of it, Hob lowered his forhead to the ground. His temple brushed the fine root of ancient tree that grew within the grounds. Like a supplicant, he thought. At his he's queen's feet.

" At your service, my lady."

A gentle breath of air blew down upon him, like a whispered blessing. In the distance, he vaguely could make out the water of the river, churning in joyus waves upon the bank.

Beside him, Dream gracefully rose to his knees. An evident expression of pride in his gaze as he regarded Hob.

"I will leave you to get better acquainted."

Leaning forward, he placed a tender kiss into Hob's hair.

"Farewell my Heart."

Angling his head, Hob dove forward, capturing a tender, shared kiss. Nuzzling their noses together playfully.

"Goodbye Dove"

At that, his lover rose to his feet, Righting his coat with a dramatic flared sweep.

"My Lady" He swept into a courtly bow, directed at a clump of dock leaves. "I thank you for you continued care of my most beloved. May you have sweet dreams of Sols warm rays."

At his feet, plumes of wild poppies of red, orange and yellow blossomed, earning a rare, glowing smile from the Master of the Dreaming. With a final nod to Hob, Dream turned and took his leave.

Watching his lover deapart, Hob crawled, quietly forward , whispering conspiratorially into the head of a fox glove.

"If I may ask a humble boon? Watch over him too, when you are able."

As Dream passed by the tree, a low hanging branch, unfurled, reaching out. Folliage sweeping his cheek in a tender caress, which he instinctively leaned into. Hob wondered when, if ever Dream of the Endless had known a maternal embrace. To his right, a tree root flexed and groaned, causing the ivy vines coiled about it to violently twang with a rip cord snap.

"Not a fan of them either ey? " He patted the ground beside him. "Well, he's got us now."

Flopping once more onto his back, head cushions by arms. Hob Gadling smirked daringly at the clouds above.

"So, which climate destroying, corporate dragon would you like me to slay first My Lady? My sword is yours."

#dreamling #dream of the endless #hob gadling #mother earth #the sandman #mini fic #This resplendent lady deserves her place in the Sandman Fandom

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stupidgalaxybrain · 1 year

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If there's one thing I'm proud of as an artist, it's the fact I'm a style chameleon. I decided to sit down and recreate 4 artists I really love, and who better to do it with than with the most varied character in the entire franchise: King Dedede! This isn't just for appreciation though, but a study on how other people translate DDD's design, since character design is a passion of mine!

Let's start with @miniiieevee!

Oh my gosh their art is super great, and I think the most important part of getting the style right was the sparkles. I have never seen someone do highlights this way, and it's both super recognizable and super cute! For the King himself, we have a nice round beak, visibly blue eyes, a distinct head, pointed crown jewel, an undershirt, and stripes along the top of the belt. Like most of us, they use the (owo) kind of mouth and really fluff up the coat. Separate fingers can also show up for posing, following Spongebob physics. The stitching on the gloves and the little round eyebrows are another really cool touch! Out of all of the styles I looked at, this one has the most pastel colors.

Next is @das-a-kirby-blog!

Das-a-kirby-blog has such a cool variety in their work, from really shapey sketches to super abstracted color schemes, which while super amazing, didn't provide me the best ref material. The colors here are frankensteined from a few sources, so I hope they capture their actual base color palette. They go for the pin-shaped route for body shape, with the undershirt (though sometimes there's no under layer), typically black eyes, extra belt stripes, and a chunky diamond shaped crown jewel. My favorite touch is the cottonball on the crown. Like I said at the top, they excel at shapes in their art!

Third is @jojo-schmo!

I've been silently reading their roleswap comic, but I should've been loudly reading it because I super recommend it! I'd also say design wise their Dedede is the most unique! Besides myself they're the only one here to pick the kimono, they have a single blue stripe at the top of the belt, a triangular jewel, and the coolest element of the style, spirals! I've not seen anyone stylize the trim this way, and it's so cool in execution. Another unique element that really adds to certain expressions is the spiky teeth (which matches real life penguins! ...Don't look it up).

Last but not least, @cosmicwhoreo!

God, their art is everything. The flow of the lines is so clean and smooth and everything they draw is super expressive. Their Dedede is by far the hugest, and also marks the 4/5 DDDs with a separate head, and 3/5 with black eyes. We have the belt stripes, occasionally a shirt, and a smooth tear drop jewel, but a uniquely shaped crown band. This design sees a lot of influence from the anime unlike the others here, so the color scheme is the most unique.

As a conclusion, it's really cool to see all the different design elements that we pick and choose for DDD. Some give him his smash outfit. Some people give him a body type closer to K64 or KATFL. Some people draw his eye color, or separate eyebrows, and others don't. There's no detail that's the same across every version, but they're all our lovable king. If you don't recognize one of these artists, check them out! I can only do a fraction of the incredible work they do, and let me know if there's any other characters or artists you'd like to see this exercise with!

#my kirby art #kirby #king dedede #art style study #I actually have no idea if @s notify the person or not #Probably?#I hope I did you guys justice

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jupiter-soups · 10 months

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guess I should've known from the look on your face

part one of begging for you to take my hand. part two here

pairing: joel miller x f!reader, friends -> enemies -> lovers (kinda)

summary: your tempestous relationship with joel was put to the test after a fuck up on patrol that left you embarrassed and overly defensive. despite every urge to exacerbate the problem, you tried your best to make the most of the situation and get along....mostly.

word count: 7.5k

Despite the ear-splitting gnashing of teeth next to your face and the painful clawing at the raw skin of your décolletage, you couldn’t help that in the back of your mind all you could think was: You fucking moron, you’re going to die in the most embarrasing way possible. Even fear seemed to have left you, as you struggled in the choking grip of the runner in front of you that was desperately trying to sink its teeth into the soft flesh of your neck. All that remained was adrenaline, humiliation, and the sinking feeling that if you were to meet your demise in this moment, it would be Joel Miller, of all people, that found your torn apart frame on the floor. Joel Miller, who had expressly warned you to stay where you were until he returned from checking the back of the building for intruders. Joel Miller, who somehow always made you feel like an incompetent child.

When you had first approached the roadside gas station and small bait shop that was the destination for your current patrol route, both of you had slowed down and pulled out your weapons at the sight of a beat up pick up truck haphazardly parked across the verge separating the gas pumps from the road. This was new, not having been reported by the previous patrol duo. Joel quickly assumed the position of the team leader.

“Stay here. I’ll check the back entrance,” Joel muttered as quietly as he could, still ensuring that he could be heard over the whistling wind from the snow that had been picking up speed since you first departed from the Jackson gates. As the snow crunched under his boots with each receding step, you were seething.

The audacity of this man who had spent the last ten months ignoring you to immediately try and give you orders, you brooded silently. You weren’t even supposed to be here, for God’s sake. It was the unfortunate result of poor scheduling over the Christmas holidays, as well as the skilled persuasion by your closest friend, Maria, that you were even stuck on this patrol to begin with. Sure, it was one of the shorter journeys for patrol pairs, one that only required travel on foot, but that was still a miserable three hours with Joel Miller. Three whole hours of curt answers and second-guessing your decisions. So, the instant he was out of sight, you tucked away your gun into your waistband and folded your arms across your chest, rubbing your ungloved hands against the sides of your arms to try and create some warmth.

The natural instinct in you to piss him off outweighed any logic that you’d previously believed you’d been in abundance of, as you made that decision to ignore his instructions so flippantly as soon as he had turned his back to you. Besides, the truck was clearly empty, the store shutters were undisturbed, and there were no tracks to be seen in the snow that had persistently been coating the floor for days now.

The irritation that only Joel Miller seemed to inspire had clearly blinded you to your next bad decision, as you spotted something through the windshield of the truck. A perfectly intact Spider-Man bobblehead, right there for the taking on the dashboard. Ellie would love that. You exhaled hot air into your icy hands to warm them up as you plodded along to the car, already picturing the teens’ excited face at the impromptu gift. The next few moments seemed to pass in bullet time as you heard it within seconds of leaning into the enclosed space of the front seat. The wind was no longer able to muffle the pained guttural groans.

Grotesque and dripping with congealed blood was an emaciated looking runner, face sunken in and ghoulish. It practically scampered up towards you from the floor of the backseat, moving in jerky convulsions while its teeth bit at the empty air in anticipation. You jumped back from where you had been leaning into the car, arm outstretched for the bobblehead, and your heel promptly made contact with a patch of ice. Your ass hit the ground, shooting a sharp pain through your tailbone that you had no choice but to ignore as you attempted to scramble back up to your feet.

The runner dove head first out from the backseat, the snapping of its jaw seeming to lead its body faster than any of its limbs, giving you the opportunity to send a hard kick directly into its head. Stumbling back up, you were able to grab the handle of your trusty switchblade in the few seconds it took for the beast to reorient itself.

With a quick dart forward, you plunged the knife into the closest spot that would have any sort of impact on its mobility: its kneecap. At least some of your survival instincts were still in place. You made sure to wrench the knife from side to side, a visceral squelching sound being emitted from the tearing ligaments. In a different life the sound probably would have turned your stomach, but now you were just flooded with gratitude that you actually remembered to sharpen the old blade before leaving.

“Jooooeellll!” You felt the scream for help rip out of your throat, and immediately regretted it despite the dire situation. He would not exactly be thrilled at your blatant disregard for his instructions.

The continued effort to stumble back while avoiding any more patches of ice was proving to be successful, until you felt your back slam painfully against the cold metal store shutters behind you. Fuck. You had miscalculated your distance and had nowhere to turn, despite the monster hobbling towards you being slowed down by its new injury. These creatures didn’t feel pain, so regardless of the fact that you could see the white of bone jutting out from the torn flesh of its knee, it continued to progress forward.

Desperately trying to lift your knife from your side while holding the full weight of the beast back with one arm, you were unable to stop yourself from thinking about what Joel would think of you for your mistakes. The blustery air did nothing to cool the heat in your cheeks as you continued to struggle, hating yourself for even thinking of someone like Joel in the face of literal death.

As you were beginning to lose hope, arms shaking from the effort of holding the runner back, strong hands suddenly appeared from behind its shoulders to drag it straight to the ground. You heard a sickening pop as the partially torn leg finally gave out after being heaved backwards at such a strange angle. You were practically hyperventilating, finally feeling time speed up again as you watched Joel take his boot and slam it into the head of the runner, over and over and over again, until all that was left was a puddle of viscera under his foot. The creature was clearly fresh, still more human than mushroom, and pieces of bone and brain matter decorated the floor. You stared, unable to tear your eyes away from the haunting sight.

Joel was breathing heavily as he finally ceased his brutalisation of the corpse, seemingly having decided that what was left of the zombie would probably not be able to get back up. He slowly looked over at you, undisguised rage clouding his handsome features, and he clamped his jaw shut. Any embarrassment that you were still feeling morphed into pure, unbridled shame under the weight of his disdainful look.

“I told you one fucking thing.” Is all he deigned to say. You were glad as you could barely hear him over the pounding in your ears, anyway.

Refusing to give you a second look, he shifted the entirety of his attention to unlocking and lifting the metal roller blocking the door, making it apparent to you that there had been no other threat in the area.

Something like anger and sadness both bubbled up in you simultaneously, and you kept your eyes trained on the ground as you walked to avoid giving him the satisfaction of seeing you upset. As he locked the door behind you both and began looking around the store shelves for something, you pressed your freezing fingers against your face as subtly as you could, trying to physically cool off the burning sensation in your cheeks.

You weren’t a child. You weren’t an idiot. The judgement of this man should not have been hurting you as much as it was, but as much as you insisted that you hated him, some semblance of respect and even care for the man still existed deep within you.

A quick glance up to where he was standing reminded you of something that you had somehow spotted outside, despite the carnage. His boots. Green laces. You were the one to find them for him, ten months ago.

His incessant muttering and pacing were really starting to piss you off. Fine, you made a mistake. Fine, you technically could have died. You were already mortified because of it. Did he really have to keep exhaling so dramatically and making as much noise as possible with each empty crate he moved in his not-so-subtle attempt at finding the supplies that he should definitely know the location of? All you wanted was for him to cease his incessant pacing around the dusty shelves, especially since he started to make deliberate eye contact with you over them to send you withering glares.

“Are you done?” You found yourself asking sarcastically from where you were perched on the long disconnected chest freezer pushed against the right wall. You had been fidgeting restlessly with your fingers since you took your seat, trying to calm the slight shake in your hands from the leftover adrenaline.

He lifted his head up from where he now stood, flipping through the worn pages of the log book on the counter. As annoyed as you were, it was hard to deny the way something in your chest still jumped with each brief moment of eye contact.

“Excuse me?” He asked with an exasperated tone, almost as if each word he spoke was physically exhausting him.

“I said,” You finally hopped down from where you were sitting and watching him sulk, and slowly started to take a few cautious steps towards him. A loud creak reverberated out from the rickety old wooden floorboards with each step as you closed the distance between the two of you.

“Are you done? You know, with the whole I'm Joel Miller, I’ve never made a mistake in my life act.” You drawled with an exaggerated Texan accent in your poor imitation of him, feeling emboldened by his increasingly frustrated look. “I fucked up, I know that. You can go right ahead and relax, you’ve already made it very clear that you disapprove.”

He straightened up in one swift movement and threw the pen down against the counter, hands coming down to rest on his hips. Suddenly you felt like a child about to be reprimanded by a teacher.

“Y'know, you’re bein’ awful ungrateful for someone that I could’ve just left there to die.”

It was so typical of him to insinuate that you weren’t as capable or strong as he was, despite the fact that when Joel first arrived in Jackson, you had been the one to show him the ropes. That is, of course, before Joel summarily decided that he no longer wanted to take instruction from you.

It had been a long ten months since that day, and your relationship had become practically non-existent, if not tense and uncomfortable in the few situations you were still forced to interact in. The bond you had built with Ellie meant that there were many days that you had to see him during mornings when you promised to walk her to the schoolhouse. Joel would be sure to give you a polite nod, his Southern manners enduring regardless of the change in your relationship, to which you would roll your eyes or just simply ignore him.

Maria, your closest friend in Jackson, would regularly invite you to dinner with her and Tommy, usually choosing not to warn you that the older Miller brother would be making an appearance. It would take all of your strength to suppress the urge to cuss Joel out at the slightest infraction, knowing that Tommy would be disappointed at how quickly your friendship had disintegrated.

Truthfully, you were well aware of just how petty and immature you were being. You just couldn’t help yourself when you thought about how good things had been before he made his choice to rebuff you. Your friendship had been easy, and caring, and you had even started to feel…things that you hadn’t ever felt for someone before. Pettiness made it easier to shove those feelings away, even if you knew it wasn’t exactly helping your case that you were definitely, totally, unaffected by his rejection.

You had reached the cracked acrylic counter separating you, and you tried to ignore the way his gaze remained trained onto your face as you approached. The quiet anger was visible in his eyes, like he couldn’t even believe your defensiveness when it was so obvious that you were in the wrong. You slammed a fist straight down on the counter, effectively shutting down the part of your brain that would always lose focus at the mere sight of his deep, brown eyes, angry or otherwise. The sharp pain radiating through your hand acted as the physical reminder you needed to keep your anger burning for him to see, rather than letting it falter under the power of his eyes studying you.

“Please,” you rolled your eyes dramatically, “I had the situation firmly under control. I mean, thank you, obviously, it’s not like swooping in like that didn’t help, but don’t act like I wasn’t a second away from killing that thing myself.”

Joel continued to watch you with an incredulous expression across his face, before he chose to merely scoff in response.

“Whatever you say, doll," he said in that low, dismissive tone that you were well acquainted with, before picking the pen back up to continue writing his note in the logbook.

The trait you had grown to hate the most in him was his dismissiveness. As if you weren’t even worthy of his anger, like you were just an incompetent child that he could be done with whenever he chose. It was a trait that was apparently reserved just for you. No matter what you would say to push his buttons, to even get a negative reaction from him, his response was to shut you down and not engage. It exasperated you that that hurt more than if he just yelled at you.

“God, you are the fucking worst, Miller. I’m not just saying anything, alright? I think most people would agree that it was an accurate assessment of the situation. What, do I need to be so fucking touched by your heroism that I’m on my knees with gratitude?” You paused before starting to stammer as you realised the unintended double meaning of what you just said. He clearly also heard the innuendo, if the tightened grip on the pen in his fist was any indication. “I-I mean, like, you’re not a God or…whatever… where I would need to beg for forgiveness at your feet! I fucked up, and you helped, but I would have been fine either way!”

His face betrayed no emotions, just letting you rant at him. You were running out of steam quickly from his lack of response, and your mouth grew dry as you realised that he really had no intentions of participating in your little outburst. It left you, as always, to be the one making a fool of themselves.

“Well, say something!” You insisted, shoving the book out from under his hand, in an attempt to get him to look up from where he was staring. “Say what you really think of me Miller, say why you always have to make me feel like I’m a fuck up.”

He finally moved to slowly close the logbook and place it back under the counter where it belonged, letting you stand there with your chest heaving in anger that was probably disproportionate to the situation. Joel finally looked back down at your face.

Something in his eyes took you off guard. It felt different to how he had ever looked at you before, almost heavy. In your peripheral vision you could see his hand shift across the counter top, gently tracing his index finger across one of the cracks in the acrylic while his eyes slowly scanned over your facial features. They finally settled on your eyes, and you could tell that any trace of visible anger you had in your face had faded away in anticipation for what he was about to say.

‘You could have died. Y’know that right?’ His tone seemed somehow defeated for even having to say the words.

You shifted on your feet uncomfortably as his eyes remained locked on yours, as if he was trying to make you understand something he was saying, something deeper than just the few words he had used. Your fingers fidgeted with the hem of your slightly torn shirt as you looked for words. Why did he seem almost…hurt at the thought of something happening to you? Anger or even disappointment would have been explainable, but this was indecipherable to you.

A loud crack echoed through the room suddenly, as some debris outside clanged against metal shutters from the wind. The spell was broken, as you both jumped in place at the disturbance. You decided to take the opportunity to take a small, stabilising, step back.

The only conclusion that you were able to come to about his statement was that he felt guilty. Maybe he thought that you were under his responsibility while you patrolled together, and that he somehow failed? You immediately balked at the thought of Joel somehow feeling responsible for you, as if he thought you couldn’t handle it outside of the walls by yourself.

“I know that I could have died”’ You swallowed bitterly.

You tap the hand still on the counter against the grimy plastic a few times, deliberating whether you should add something else but deciding against it at the last second.

And yet, as you finally walked past him into the staff room at the back of the store, it slipped out anyway.

“As if that would even matter to you.”

Pushing open the door with some effort, thanks to the rusted hinges, you were greeted with the sight of the supplies that Joel had been working oh-so-diligently at finding, sitting in plain sight on one of two metal storage shelves. The old ham radio that was the reason for you entering the room sat on the small table that took up the corner of the room.

Before reaching to grab the mic, you paused for a second and leaned back against the shut door, taking in a few deep, calming breaths that evaded you earlier. You hated how easily he was able to bring you to anger, how quickly your face would burn with indignation while he was able to remain as unaffected as always. Whatever you had done to inspire this distaste for you must have been unforgivable, given how it seemed to persist enough that he wouldn’t even be able to spend the effort to argue with you.

As you gathered yourself you couldn’t stop your thoughts from drifting back to your somewhat brief, yet impactful friendship with Joel.

He had shown up just over a year ago, Ellie in tow, and you had immediately accepted them with open arms. You were one of the lucky ones, finding Jackson with your two siblings while you were still in your mid twenties. Having almost ten years of safety and community was enviable to many of those who showed up in Jackson. It was your awareness of this fact that encouraged you to work harder and longer hours than the vast majority of those tasked with the safety of Jackson. It was the least you could do, after all, and if you were able to do anything that would spare the added trauma for those that had barely scraped their way into safety, you would do so with a smile.

Joel and Ellie weren’t the first to arrive at the gates hardened and traumatised at the brutality beyond the gates, and you pitied them. It didn’t come from a place of patronization. They were both clearly strong, physically and emotionally, for surviving what they had. But watching the weary look in their eyes at the comforts you had begun to take for granted had you wishing that the world had been kinder to them.

By the end of the first week, Tommy insisted that you take Joel on as a patrol partner. He felt that Joel making a friend could soften him up a bit, maybe even break down a couple of the walls that locked out everyone but Tommy and Ellie. Besides, he teased Joel, who else was patient enough to teach an old man like him the proper way to do things?

You soon found yourself spending all of your spare time with him and Ellie. Between instructing Joel about how to most effectively utilise their horses when facing small groups of raiders, to lounging on their couch as Ellie demanded that he let her get a tattoo for the millionth time, the two became fixtures in your life. As always, Joel’s answer would be a firm not until you’re eighteen to which Ellie would stomp off to the garage, leaving you both chuckling in her wake.

Joel appeared to like your presence. The one-word answers he had given you at the start or your relationship quickly shifted into full conversations. He always furrowed his brow with put-on disapproval when you tried to teach him your lesson of the week, before, like clockwork, admitting that your methods weren’t too shabby. He even regularly took your advice when it came to Ellie, valuing your input that Ellie was old enough to rebel a little bit.

Ellie had been so grateful when he finally allowed her to resume hanging out with her new friends following the weed incident, that she gave both of you a huge bear hug. The smile gracing Joel’s face for the rest of the day made your knees feel weak, especially whenever he directed it at you in gratitude for your advice. The embarrassed laugh that followed when you teased him about his own teenage years, courtesy of a drunk Tommy babbling at you one evening, resulted in you needing to grip onto the kitchen counter next to you for strength.

The third month of your friendship brought with it disapproving shakes of the head from Maria everytime she caught you looking at him for a second too long. You would promptly shrug and make a confused face to indicate that she was the one being weird for even implying that you might have been getting attached.

Family dinners and boozy evenings in the Tipsy Bison continued on a regular basis. Joel was still himself. Gruff and slightly mean towards anyone that wasn’t Ellie or Tommy, but he would laugh at your jokes. Really laugh, in a way that made warmth radiate through your chest and into your fingertips. The elbow nudges that Tommy would give to you in response were a lot less accusatory than Maria’s looks, merely appreciating that Joel had somebody to make him laugh. Ellie had been the one to change him, letting Joel give himself permission to feel joy again, but damn if it didn’t make Tommy relieved to see Joel allow himself that with other people too.

Whenever you would find small things outside the wall that you thought he could use, he would accept with a small smile, rather than immediately rejecting it with a short “I have everythin’ I need.”

Even on days that he wouldn’t be on patrol with you, you would find him at the stables, just coincidentally with an extra thermos of coffee in hand despite his insistence that he just had to check in with the stable workers.

It was these small moments that made you realise that you were falling for him. As much as you wanted to shy away from those feelings, wanting to avoid the potential awkwardness of rejection, you had almost convinced yourself that he was starting to feel the same way. There was something about the way his hand lingered when he boosted you onto your horse, or when he would wrap an arm around you for warmth the second you dared to shiver in his presence.

This delusion came crashing down one summer evening five months into your friendship, as you entered the Tipsy Bison and were immediately pulled aside by Tommy, before you even had a chance to raise a hand in a wave at the table where Joel sat with Ellie and her friend, Cat. Tommy quietly explained to you in the corner of the room that you were no longer patrolling with Joel, effective immediately. He grimaced at your attempt at protest, and even more so when you asked when he was going to tell Joel. The immediate suspicion at this reaction was quickly confirmed when you looked over Tommy’s shoulder at Joel, who was watching the pair of you intently before quickly shifting to look back at the teens sitting in front of him. His face said it all. This was his choice.

You decided to let Tommy off the hook with a quiet, “I understand,” before stalking out of the bar, shoving past the multiplying crowd that tried to funnel inside.

After a few days of trying and failing to catch him alone between shifts on patrol, you were finally able to grab Joel by the arm and physically pull him aside on his porch as he tried to enter his home late one evening. His refusal to even look at you acted as the fuel you needed to begin your aggressive diatribe.

‘What the fuck, Joel?” You asked, unable to stop your leg from bouncing while you stood.

“Did you need something?” Was his curt response, face hard and so deeply unlike the way he would typically look at you.

“Why did you want to switch partners? Did I do something wrong?” The wobble in your voice betrayed the hurt you had tried to tuck away inside of you, and you suddenly felt incredibly silly for confronting him. “Why wouldn’t you just tell me? I was having dinner with you and Ellie literally the night before. And you’ve been avoiding me since then.”

He seemed to think through his response carefully before speaking. The warm brown eyes that you were accustomed to were almost black, and his brows were tightly furrowed as he spoke. “Thought it’d be easier to get Tommy to pass the message along. He’s always been the more cordial type. Didn’ think it needed to be a whole thing.”

He started to unlock his front door, back turning to you as he continued.

“I jus’ felt that things were getting a little too cosy over here. I know what I need to know when patrolling, and I sure as hell don’t need any more hand holding from someone who’s barely known a life that wasn’ all…soft and easy.”

The door opened to the dark hallway and he stepped in and grabbed something from the console table by the door. It was your purple fleece blanket, the one that you, Joel, and Ellie had been sitting under just a few nights ago while watching one of Joel’s favourite westerns. He shoved it towards your hands. “There, been meanin’ to get that back to you. No need to drag this out any longer.”

Your jaw clenched as you stared at the blanket, quickly snatching it from him as the embarrassment flooded your body. How could you have let yourself think that he actually wanted you here with him?

“Y’know what, Joel. Fuck you.” You said with a sniff. You quickly turned and walked away, refusing to give him an opportunity to respond.

After throwing the soft blanket in the coat closet of your home haphazardly, you decided to head straight to the Bison for a strong drink. The first good looking man with brown eyes and broad shoulders that you saw ended up taking you home, in the first of your many attempts to extricate your feelings from Joel.

A scraping noise from the other room brought you back, reminding you that you had a task at hand, and with a click of the button on the small handheld mic, you spoke.

“Jackson, this is the bait and tackle shop, checking in.” While you waited for a response from Jackson, you sat on an old stool and angrily picked at the loose threads hanging from the ripped hem of your shirt. Stupid Miller, making you feel inferior and indebted to him. Not even giving you the decency of fighting with you.

At least a conversation with Alfred, the kindly old man who took the late shift for the radio office in Jackson, always made you feel better. His old war stories of encrypting and sending radio signals got you through many lonely evenings at the Tipsy Bison, and he had become sort of a grandpa-like figure to you.

“Hey there, birdie, we hear ya.” You heard some paper moving, as he shuffled through to find the appropriate area map. “Snow’s getting pretty bad out here, it’s looking like you’re going to need to buckle down and wait it out for the morning. It’ll be a longer walk than usual with the way the wind is whipping up the snow.” No, no, nope. Not happening.

You bolted up and leaned over the table with the radio, as if it was possible that you had merely heard him wrong and getting closer to the speaker would fix things.

“No, Alf, it’ll be fine, I can’t stay here overnight with-’’ You cut yourself off, suddenly aware of how loud you were talking and let out a long suffering sigh. “It’s just. The snow’s not that bad, we’ll probably be fine walking back.”

Alfred makes some deliberation noises, unnecessarily keeping his mic on the whole time as if he thought it would make you feel better that he was actually considering it, before finally responding.

“I don’t know, kid…I would feel guilty if you froze to death out there. I know you don’t get along too well with that Miller boy.” Alfred hesitates once again, before sighing. “I’m sorry, dove, I can’t let you walk in this weather.”

You groaned dramatically into the microphone, rubbing your spare hand across your eyes wearily. With a quick peek at the shut door in front of you to check for shadows through the frosted glass that might indicate that Joel is listening, you lowered your tone to what seemed like a sufficiently quiet level, and continued.

“I just. I fu-” you paused, remembering the old man's dislike for sailor talk. “I made a mistake. Everything's fine, no one is hurt! Just. He's doing that thing where he makes me feel like an idiot. And it just sucks because it’s like I proved him and his stupid doubts about me right. I hate when he’s right.”

“Birdie, you know that you're not an idiot. You do the same job as him, and I can tell you from experience that you don't call back to Jackson with any more issues on the road than he does. Who cares what that silly boy thinks about you? More importantly, are you going to let it get in the way of doing a good job?”

You let a small smile pass onto your face. He knew you well, and your bruised ego for the earlier mishap was already painful enough without adding any more unprofessionalism into the mix. People in Jackson relied on you, and you wouldn’t let a man who clearly didn’t think about you more than he needed to to get into your head.

“You’re right, Alf. If you say we need to hang out here overnight, we can do that.” You made sure to shake off any remaining angst that had uncharacteristically been plaguing you since you first got given this job, and tried to become the person that people in Jackson knew you as. “Just to confirm, we will be utilising the emergency supplies here, so please note down that the food, water, and oil for the lamps will need replenishing by the next pair out.”

You could practically hear the smile on the old man’s face, “Will do, dove. Good night. Don’t kill each other.”

After placing the receiver back in place you take in a deep breath, preparing yourself for what you were about to do. The herculean task of thanking Miller sincerely and being amicable for the rest of the evening was daunting. It practically made you shudder, but you would be lying if you didn’t acknowledge that there was a part of you excited at the prospect. You missed him, as absurd as that was given your history.

With an armful of sleeping bags, a lamp, a couple of pouches of jerky, and a glass bottle labelled ‘Pete’s- Hands off!’ you exited the staff room, trying to appear as confident as you would be on a typical, Joel-less day. You plopped the items down on the counter unceremoniously, looking up to find him now sitting on an old camping chair in the darkness. Barely any moonlight made it through the thin gaps of the shutters, so you focused your attention on lighting the lamp, ignoring the weight of his stare on your form as you did so.

“Heads up,” you called out a moment later, quickly grabbing and tossing a pouch of jerky at him. The trajectory of the throw was mostly aimed towards his hands, but you did use a careless flick of the wrist that would have absolutely resulted in it smacking against his body if his reflexes weren’t annoyingly good for his age.

The lit lamp that you placed on the floor between you and Joel brought the room into a softer state, and you could see that the earlier anger on Joel’s face had at least partially subsided. You dragged an old crate that once held fishing lures and flipped it, sitting down to his left hand side, before opening your own pouch of jerky and digging into the stale meat.

"So," You began hesitantly, lifting your eyes from the floor to where he sat, feeling a pang of an emotion you didn’t want to identify when you found him already looking at you. "I guess I just wanted to say thank you. Properly. For saving me, or whatever. I shouldn’t have approached the car without backup."

If it hadn’t been so awkward, you probably would have been laughing at his incredulous face, eyebrows lifted upwards in shock at your sudden attempt at sincere appreciation. When it became clear that you weren’t waiting to attack again, he finally spoke up.

"It’s alright. Could have happened to anyone, I suppose." He seems almost unsettled at your sudden shift in attitude, but also doesn’t seem to want to provoke you again.

You bit back any part of you that wanted to emphasise that it really could have happened to anyone, even with experience, and instead focused on chewing the tough meat. It was surprising to say the least, when Joel was the first one to speak again.

"Why did you, though? Tommy say something about needing another vehicle?" Joel’s tone was hesitant, as if he felt he shouldn’t be continuing the conversation any further.

"Oh. Um. No, I wasn’t going to check on the car. I just saw a bobblehead on the dash. Spider-Man. I thought Ellie might have liked it." Your eyes narrowed as you looked at Joel, expecting him to start on you again. What you didn’t expect was the short laugh that followed. It was nice, and you couldn’t help the small smile in return at your own expense.

"Spider-Man, huh? What a reason to risk getting bit." He passed you the final stick of jerky from the pouch he was holding as he spoke. A peace offering. With a wipe of his hands against his jeans, he continued. "Y’all are still close, aren’t you?" He asked, already knowing the answer.

Your leg bounced at the use of the term ‘still.’ As in, despite everything between us. You batted that thought away quickly. The friendship between you and Joel had crashed and burned after he decided that he couldn’t work with you anymore, but Ellie had only seemed to latch on tighter. Whenever you pointed out that he didn’t seem to think you were worth getting to know, Ellie would roll her eyes at you.

"Yeah, I guess we are. Is that a problem?" You said while shifting in your seat, knowing that he probably would be well within his rights to tell you to stay away from his child. "Because I can tell you right now that despite her insistence, I’ve refused to teach her how to throw knives, at least not until she turns sixteen-"

"What? No. Should I be concerned?" He cut you off with a concerned look on his face.

Realising that you may have just given Ellie up, you fake a laugh that Joel could have believed if he hadn’t heard your real laugh so many times before.

"No, of course not. That was just a hypothetical." He continued to stare you down, resulting in you giving in more quickly than you were proud of. "Don’t….tell her I told you that."

He gave you an actual laugh at your desperate plea, a sound you hadn’t heard for almost a year. That familiar warmth in your chest and fingertips returned at the sound, and you found yourself chuckling too. Thoughts of all of the times that he would begrudgingly break when you teased him, despite insisting that you weren’t funny rushed through your mind. And how he would threaten to sic Ellie on you whenever you teased him for his achy knees. And how tight your chest would feel when he would look at you over from on his horse while you rode beside each other. As if…No. Nope. Those memories had been securely tucked away in the back of your mind for months now, and you sure as hell were not going to let them out after a year of getting nothing from him.

You forced the smile off of your face in an instant and stood up somewhat abruptly.

"I-uh, found something in the supplies!" The broad grin you plastered on was an attempt at masking your strange behaviour, but, frankly, a smile from you aimed at Joel was strange enough in of itself.

Joel watched as you grabbed the glass bottle and lifted it into the air with a little shake to show it off.

"It’s fucking cold in here. This’ll warm us right up!" You said as you uncorked the bottle and immediately tossed back a healthy swig of the mysterious clear liquid. Yep, definitely moonshine. And yes, definitely strong.

A couple of drinks in, and things had already become so much easier between you two. Not only were you both warmer, in spite of the blizzard on your doorstep that was making your breath visible in the air, but you were both laughing freely.

"And then, he takes the shot and the bullet whizzes by, easily fifteen feet from the deer! The way that smug look dropped off of his stupid face…" You trailed off, cheeks slightly reddened from the alcohol that was far stronger than even the typical homemade stuff back at the Tipsy Bison. Whoever brewed this batch clearly anticipated the need for the strongest shit possible in a bottle small enough to fit in an emergency supply cache, and for that you were appreciative.

You were sitting on the floor,, one knee up and your back against one of the empty shelves that once held fishing rods. The crate you had been sitting on now held your winter coat, inadvisably discarded due to the sudden heat you felt. Joel sat back in his chair, a far sight more relaxed than he was a mere hour ago. He was chuckling at your mockery of Emmett, your current patrol partner who was definitely a beginner at hunting.

Joel’s shadows danced across the dark room as he lightly shook from the laughter, illuminated by the cheap oil lamp that sat in front of you, and you watched with a dazed grin. His presence used to be a comforting one for you, and seeing his shape fill up a room again made you feel strangely at peace. With the gift of alcohol in your system, it was easy to ignore the painful familiarity that came from being with him like this. You bring your chin over to rest on your raised knee as you look up at him while he speaks.

"That boy definitely has too big of a mouth for his own good. I heard him out in the Bison a week or so ago, going off at a couple of the other guys about how he’s always pullin’ all these different ladies." He shook his head in disapproval while bringing the bottle back up to his lips, taking a generous drink.

"Oh yeah? He say anything about me?" You couldn’t help yourself from asking with a teasing grin. Just the previous week you had to turn Emmett down after he insisted that he could show you a good time. He was a handsome young man, but his age and his use of the term ‘older ladies’ when describing his type made it clear that he would be too annoying to even spend one night with. Besides, you were only in your early thirties, and the thought of being with someone that considered that ‘older' made you physically cringe.

Joel’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "You into him? I didn’ take you for the type that would want a…pretty boy." He says derisively while picking at the label on the bottle.

You were momentarily distracted by the flex of his calloused fingers against the bottle before snapping out of it to respond, "Eh, I guess you don’t know me that well, then do you, Miller?"

His fingers froze in place and he looked at you humorlessly, causing you to awkwardly laugh and acquiesce "Nah, of course not. He just keeps pulling stupid shit to try and impress me. I had to finally put my foot down the other day and tell him that him wasting ammo on trick shots wasn’t gonna let him into my pants."

Joel let out a small breath that sounded sort of like a laugh but not quite, as he resumed picking at the crumbling label and confirming "I s’pose that means you aren't the cougar he was seeing, then?"

A dramatic gasp escaped your lips. "That son of a bitch! Oh, I am going to give him hell next week. No wonder his little buddies have been givin’ me weird looks recently."

Joel laughed for real that time and you were unable to help yourself from relaxing back against the shelf at the sweet sound.

"I don't know why they would partner you with someone like that," he chuckled, reaching over to finally pass you the bottle that he had been holding.

As you grabbed the bottle, your fingers briefly brushed and you sensed him tense slightly. This action, combined with his previous statement, made your stomach feel weird. The alcohol bypassed the part of your brain that was screaming at you to shut up, things are going well! and you found yourself saying, "Well, I guess they did that so I could teach him a coupl‘a things. Some people benefit from a little hand holding, I guess."

You trained your stare into Joel’s eyes, feeling a sick sense of satisfaction at the way his face fell at you directly addressing how you were once partners.

Quiet taps of your fingernail against the side of the cool glass bottle resting in your hand fill the room while he seems to look for words. Something about your statement caught him off guard, as if he somehow didn’t think that you would remember or care about his words. Realising this unsettled him, and you revelled in the glimpse of vulnerability that appeared across his face.

"I s’pose that makes sense." He finally acknowledged, looking deeply uncomfortable at the way you continued to stare at him bitterly.

"I guess it does."

A few more beats passed in silence as you waited with bated breath for anything, an acknowledgment, an apology, hell, even another insulting explanation for his choices, anything, but it didn’t come. You let out a quiet sigh, placing the bottle on the floor as you stood and dusted off your pants.

"I think I’m gonna call it a night, Joel."

He nodded without a word, eyes remaining stuck at the point on the ground where you had been sitting. Rather than waste your time waiting for anything else from him, you turned and grabbed one of the thin sleeping bags that sat on the counter, walking over to the side of the room furthest from where Joel was still sitting and rolling it out in one quick move.

Now that you were far away from the heat he naturally seemed to radiate, the cold suddenly felt a lot more biting against your skin. You crawled into the sleeping bag, rolling to face the wall and pressing your eyes shut in a desperate attempt to just fall asleep and get this confusing evening over with. The last thing you heard before you dozed off was a quiet, defeated sigh from the opposite side of the room.

a/n: nobody look at me rn okay, i'm juST TRYING SOMETHING OUT!!!!! okay. well. this the first fic i've written and it's looking like it's gonna be 3 parts. please give me any kind of feedback!!!

also a huge collosal thank you to @sinsofsummers for helping me SO MUCH and generally being the most incredible human angel creature to walk the earth with endless patience

#joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x reader #joel x reader #joel miller fic #joel miller x female reader #tlou fanfiction #tlou fic #IDK WHAT I'M DOIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGGG NOBODY JUDGE ME

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vaguely-concerned · 7 months

Text

Stray Gods Character Design Thoughts

In order we're going Pan, Apollo, Persephone, Eros, Aphrodite and a little bit of Venus! Disclaimer that I have no professional experience in character design at all, so these are only my vibes-based ramblings and observations purely for fun and because my brain simply won't shut up about this game haha. Also I will freely admit Pan probably gets the most attention in this because of who I am as a person and where my heart truly lies at the end of the day lol

PAN

Ok, first of all I have so many questions and they all delight me. This guy is the god of the wild places ("Where else would I be, but among the trees and the wild things?"), he lives in a magical garden on top of an office building... and he’s walking around everywhere in an expensive three piece tailored suit (when Freddie accuses him of being a sleaze in a cheap suit he protests mildly that his suit is anything but cheap haha). The cut of it is really carefully thought out and planned, but the bold colours under the grey coat and (studied I am sure) careless details like the tie also make it fun and playful. Which is pleasingly coherent with the general theme of his character in the writing too and I adore it.

This is not the point, I know, but I’m wondering how he makes that work just like. Practically now. Has Athena fixed up Olympus with in-house laundry service? And other sentences I did not expect to type out today lol. Ah well he’s wily I’m sure he has his ways.

I can't heap enough praise on it, this design is SUCH an interesting and elegant marriage of the immediately recognizable satyr features and thus animal symbolism with all its added pagan weight in a post-Christianity setting, and the sort of ‘man of wealth and taste’ imagery of the devil at the crossroads they clearly want to evoke, especially in his first scene. And partially through his mannerism there’s also an added element of like… eccentric but surprisingly competent college professor — just look at the way he carries himself whenever he isn’t putting on the charm or when he’s being guarded and self-contained. That little hands resting on his back pose exudes ‘nerd’ so deeply to me haha. (Incredibly fuckable nerd, to be sure, but still!)

you don't fool me buddy I know what you are. I know all the trouble you went to to get a book.

His body language shifts very quickly between wild playful expressiveness and a sort of nonchalant urbane detachment that borders on coldness sometimes, and it fascinates me. Especially since that more refined unavailable side seems to be something he’s deliberately cultivated, to some extent. When Grace calls him out on how boring it sounds to just let yourself go numb and distant to survive, he doesn’t deny that at all, only saying that at least it’s been quite effective.

Putting the rest under a cut to save people's dashes! I may, as they say, have gotten a tiny bit carried away.

Physically he’s not very imposing — he’s only a little taller than Grace, and the shortest of all of the love interests, which I find somehow very charming and also plays into him being more of a guile-based character. “Seeing as I am neither big nor truly bad, it behooves me to be wary of those who are both” indeed!

I’m fairly sure he’s the character wearing the most layers. Even his hands are mostly covered by gloves. He partially covers up his eyes with the tinted glasses — interesting, as one of the features that most give his real nature away with their sidewise pupils, and the lenses are tinted purple as the complimentary colour to yellow, so it downplays just how bright they are. All together it’s very much a ‘well, he’s certainly got to be in there somewhere’ sort of vibe at times. (Since he also seems to care about his clothes quite a bit — he complains about scuffing his pants during the climb in the Medusa mission if you go the lockpick route — I have drawn the conclusion that getting him out of all of that must take quite a bit of time, no matter how much practice he’s probably put in over the years of meeting 'delicious people' lol)

It’s a design that manages to give, at the same time: animal-featured ancient god, deal with the devil, teacher, overtones of con man if you’re inclined to be Freddie-levels of uncharitable lol, eccentric rich weird uncle… there’s a lot going on here and somehow it all works haha. He isn’t wearing any jewelry at all unless you count the glasses, which now that I’m looking at the rest of the character designs in this game is actually fairly rare among them!

His eyes really are incredibly bright when uh naked as it were, though. I like the implication that he is aware of this and actually goes out of his way to downplay it, even when he’d normally be wearing glamour anywhere it would strictly matter for it to show. Between that, the meaningful zoom in on him at the Underworld when Apollo says that all the Idols can be themselves there even if they don’t look human, Pan claiming he’s been distrusted and side-eyed by the others basically since the beginning and seeming kind of frustrated and hurt about it, in his deflecting way, and the implication of a hierarchy among the Idols at least under Athena’s leadership in this stained glass painting (notably all the visibly non-human Idols/hangers on are at the bottom, and Hecate, Asterion and especially Medusa are the characters most affected and confined by the oppressive status quo Athena upholds)...

this one! sing it with me now EVERYBODY LEAVES THIS PLACE ALIVEEE ok we can move on

you know, some possible Subtext and Implications going on here, I’d say. (It is only potential subtext and implication, though, so, you know, take my extrapolations here with a grain of salt!) He certainly doesn’t do himself many favors with the persona he’s built up in regards to being trusted and included either, but his status as a little bit of an outsider does seem to precede that so I feel like it’s more of a response than the main cause. Along the same lines he gets much more testy about the Green route of ‘I Can Teach You’ than he does about you just not choosing him in the Red one, he takes that pretty gracefully. So it is the being deliberately kept on the outside and openly distrusted and dismissed that gets to him. (To be clear I don't think openly distrusting a strange guy showing up in your living room like that is at all unreasonable either haha I just think the nuances of his response are enlightening as to where he's really coming from)

this one isn't even to illustrate anything it's just because I love him so much and think he's pretty I'll be real with you all

Anyway I just keep thinking about how incredibly tender it would be if sometimes, when they’re in private, Grace takes his glasses off to see his eyes better and he lets her. That shakes something deep in my soul apparently. That fucks me up but like in a good way.

APOLLO

- Apollo’s style of dress leaves his navel helpfully exposed for the copious amounts of depressed gazing he habitually subjects it to. (I say this not entirely without affection.)

a crumpled tissue of a man

In keeping with his incredibly emo mode, there’s very little colour involved and he doesn’t take much care to present anything with care (look at the state of that shirt and tell me if Apollo has picked up an iron in the last forty years), BUT interestingly he’s not entirely open and unadorned, he does wear that network of jewelry across his chest and neck. Which I think is to show that the old Apollo is not entirely gone (“There he is, god of the sun”), even if he has been a sack stuffed with sad for a long time now. I wonder how many of these things are leftover preferences from being only Lucas — presumably the tattoos at least are from before he fished Apollo up from the sea? If I’m reading the vibes right on that, the blue of the tattoos and the gold of the sun… thingy he wears with the jewelry are the main splashes of colour in his design aside from his hair, and they’re both ‘leftovers’ from both his previous lives, surfer bro and solar deity recently fallen on hard times. Physically he would be tall and imposing, parodically built, except that he carries himself with all the confidence and panache of a damp depressed dishrag.

Also I can’t believe this guy is walking around everywhere in sandals. Apollo makes sad flip-flop sounds wherever he goes, including when he steps up during ‘The Trial’. That’s so amazingly pathetic (affectionate).

We can see from the photo with him and Calliope that he wasn’t always quite this much of a mess. Once, he did his shirt up a whole maybe four buttons and wore something that wasn’t beige!

Intellectually I acknowledge that it's a design meant to provide fanservice, even though I personally could not consider this guy in a sexual or romantic light if you gave me a thousand years to build up to it. (I've said it before but if he's anything to me, he is the incredibly fail father figure continually letting me down in tiny ways I never had.) Godspeed to the Apollo-enjoyers out there, though, Summerfall gave him those abs and that poor little meow meow energy just for you and it's your right to enjoy that

- Pan and Apollo also bring out some really interesting contrasts both as characters and designs when you hold them up against each other:

Once you scratch the surface a tiny bit Pan clearly has just as much self-loathing as Apollo (“If Athena had taken me up on my offer, the Idols would have been better off” uh. Okay buddy we’re gonna have to process that one together later what do you say), but where Apollo is completely helplessly open in his misery at all times, you need to unbutton Pan at least three layers until you get a honest or straightforward emotion out of him and I think that’s amazingly carried through into their visual designs. It's Good Visual Storytelling Brent

PERSEPHONE

- I’m fairly sure the colour of Persephone’s suit is supposed to evoke pomegranate seeds. See and judge for yourself I suppose:

She also has details on her coat that depict foliage and growing plants, but colour-wise they and the rest of the detailing is in the blue-green that symbolizes the Underworld and so death. Her jewelry is gold, which — and I’m about to do some reaching here, I’ll be big enough to own — could play in with Hades being the god of riches as well as of the dead/the underworld. Probably it’s because it works well with the colour scheme, but I’m going to pretend that it’s because even if she didn’t get the throne she did get that motherfucker’s hoard when she killed him <3 Love that for her. Her jewelry is more rose gold than Apollo’s yellow gold, too. Watch me go for even more of a reach: between the necklace and the watch, those round discs of gold remind me of the coins put on the eyes of the dead but like you know repurposed since she doesn't need them to pay the Ferryman. I never promised I'd be reasonable in this did I.

The short hair works real well for the butch vibe and looks amazing no notes, but I think it’s also a deliberate way to differentiate herself from her younger self — when speaking of Demeter’s death, she says that moment was also the final death of that young her, ‘that girl with the long hair who loved her gardens’. Clearly the Idols do a lot of reinventing themselves over the ages in more and less conscious ways.

She has a tattoo of what looks to be foliage and a skull across her left chest and arm. I really like that idea of her having the testament to both sides of her — goddess of spring, queen of the underworld — directly on her skin, under two layers of clothes that each represent those aspects. The one on her arm looks like stalks of grain tied together to resemble the bones of the hand/forearm, maybe? which is metal as fuck, needless to say.

She is TALL and scary and the staging always plays that up, Grace tends to look up at her like O.O. I love how sharp she is too.

Also she is incredibly hot but you don’t need me to tell you that you all have eyes I assume.

EROS, APHRODITE and VENUS:

- I love literally everything about Eros’ design except his hair. Not even the concept of the haircut and colours or anything, just the way it’s rendered. It looks like one strange flat cap I can’t quite make understandable in three dimensional space as hair in my head lol. Other than that it’s a banging design though, the delicate see-through material over the leather BDSM harness is genius. Choosing this form of sensuality and attractiveness for him to embody -- one that is so deeply queercoded -- also works super well. The warmth and vulnerability of his body language on top of it is *chef's kiss*. just. please define his hair a bit more and it's perfect haha.

- I'm not sure I have that much to say about Aphrodite’s design except that of course she is beauty she is grace etc., it takes a lot of thought to make such a simple design shine and by god did they do it she’s so stunning. Also interesting how her dark blues and greens with cool/silvery details contrast with Venus’ warm reds and pinks and… brass? Idk I don’t really understand jewelry haha. All warmth and soft romanticism, anyway, it looks nice. (Side note but I love Venus’ rose tattoo.) Eros and Venus have much more matching colour schemes and they both bring those islands of warmth standing around Aphrodite in her shimmering ocean coolness. (Which of course is something she has to deliberately put on before going into public these days, and is unselfconsciously glamorous in the way of an old timey Hollywood starlet, as the blue route of 'The Ritual' lampshades)

:') *whisper* everybody...

Venus is wearing pearls, which is pleasing considering her connection to Aphrodite (and the backgrounds of the 'Lost in a Moment' variant of 'The Ritual')! and both of her and Aphrodite's outfits go for a shoulderless look to great effect.

ETA: When the camera is close on Aphrodite you can actually see that she has dark circles under her eyes, only partially covered by the makeup :'( I didn't notice that before I played through 'The Ritual' on a bigger screen today

All in all I just want to acknowledge what a fantastic job the character designers at Summerfall Studios have done! There are some really fresh new takes on these mythological figures here, and it makes so much sense within the world the game presents without resorting to well-worn and tired iconography, I really do admire it greatly.

#stray gods #stray gods pan #stray gods apollo #stray gods persephone #stray gods eros #stray gods aphrodite #sorry about the varying quality of the screenshots I have done my best lmao #if there's anywhere you can get the sprites in high resolution I couldn't find it so uh well be gentle lol #it's SO hard to track down scenes where you see them all in full figure and decent clarity #stray gods meta #meta #i don't even know if this is coherent anymore but it IS out of my head which is what I needed it to be haha I am free!! for now

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chosonore · 2 years

Text

summary: your most prized possession was childe’s red scarf that he’d given to you before he left. a simple item really but it brought you so much solace and comfort while he was gone, easing your heart and worries until he came back. that was, until you lost it.

a/n: hello i am not okay after all the harbingers were just dropped onto us like that like i need a moment or two. but that being said, i kept seeing childe in his red scarf and oh my god i love how it looks on him? the big ass coat? the scarf? he looks so nice and i want it as a skin in-game.

“excuse me? is this what you’ve been looking for?” a lady came up behind you, tapping your shoulder gently to get your attention. immediately, you whirled around and teared up at the sight of the bright red scarf that she was holding in her hands. you’d spent hours upon hours looking for it after losing it sometime during the day, your frustration increasing with each hour that you spent looking for it.

you hadn’t noticed how it was gone until you were home, trying to place it at its usual spot on your armchair. your heart sank to your stomach, dread filling your chest. it was an uncomfortable feeling, like immense pressure on your chest, the air being pressed out of your lungs. the one most precious item that childe had given to you, you couldn’t have lost it. you needed to find it. on any other day, you probably wouldn’t have been as upset but you just didn’t have a good day - a good week really. everything that could have possibly gone wrong, went wrong. from breaking your favourite mug to getting into an unpleasant confrontation at work, not having heard of childe for months, and now losing the scarf was the cherry on top.

to the best of your abilities, you held back your tears as you traced back every single route that you took today, hoping that it was still somewhere on the way and that nobody had taken it from you. perhaps it was silly to attribute so much meaning to a simple item of clothing but it was so dear to you. it was one of the few items that childe gave to you, that you treasured in his absence. in a way, you kept it with you at all times to feel like he was with you wherever you went. so it would ease the ache you felt whenever you thought of him, whenever you missed him.

“do you really have to go?” you questioned quietly as you stood at the harbour, staring at your lover in sadness. the ice cold wind and flurrying snowflakes were nipping at your skin, slowly numbing your fingertips but nothing could compare to the heartbreak you felt upon childe’s departure. you knew it was part of his work but it didn’t make it any easier, knowing that he disappeared for months on end and sometimes only returned for a short period of time before vanishing again. it was hard on you but you couldn’t help it - your heart belonged to him and would always be his. and so you would wait, as long as it takes, for him to come back. because you prayed, you knew, that he always would.

childe whirled around to face you, his tall frame towering over you. “i’m sorry, baby, you know how it is,” he mumbled, stepping closer to you. the large coat shielded you from the curious gazes of the other fatui, it was rare that they could steal a glance at the infamous harbinger’s partner. though they might not look like it, childe knew they liked to gossip and he wasn’t very fond of it - the less they knew about you, the better. it was one of the rare instances that he couldn’t convince you to stay away, knowing that you would have found another way to find him just to see him off.

childe’s gloved hands found yours, eyebrows furrowing upon seeing that you weren’t wearing any. “i told you to wear them,” he grumbled, pulling you closer and wrapping his coat around you. “you’ll get sick.”

“will you come home sooner if i get sick?” you teased him, wrapping your arms around his waist as you huddled closer to his warmth. inhaling loudly, you tried to take in as much of him as you could before he left. his warmth, his unmistakable scent, the way he always held you in his arms - it was so hard to leave behind. would it be selfish of you to beg him to stay with you or to take you with him?

“you know i can’t do that, i’ll come home once i’m done with everything. properly.” childe reminded you again, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head.

“how cold and cruel of you, just leaving your lover here to wonder when you’ll come back.”

“is that a challenge?” he grinned at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “i’ll be back in no time, don’t you worry. i just have to clean up the mess scaramouche left behind, nothing new. i’ll bring you some souvenirs.”

before you could give him a snippy reply, childe stepped back and took his large, red scarf off and haphazardly wrapping it around you. as he neared the ends of the scarf, he fumbled, clumsily trying to tie it around you. “what are you doing?” you laughed at your boyfriend, shaking your head at his clumsy hands.

“i wanted to make it a nice bow,” childe pouted and settled for a simple knot. “keep it, you’ll get cold otherwise and i know you don’t like the cold.” he couldn’t help but smile at the red bundle that you now were, looking comically small in the scarf. truthfully, he worried about you a lot while he was away but had taken precautions - there was always some fatui agent stationed near you, just to keep you safe. he knew you were more than capable of defending yourself, having sparred with him before and being a vision holder but he couldn’t bear the thought of someone even getting close to hurting you. especially since it was no secret that he was dating you; his reputation of being a protective partner who considered you his family as well preceded him.

he knew that you visited his family frequently to take care of his siblings and that they adored you, his whole family did. teucer had sworn up and down that he would always protect you while childe was away, telling him that he had nothing to worry about. seeing you so comfortable around his family, as if you’d always been there and belong there, it simultaneously warmed his heart and stirred a dull ache. oh how he longed for the day that he would finally find what he was looking for all this time so he could put his mind to rest and come home to you for good. to start a family with you one day, to be able to wake up to you everyday without fearing that he would have to leave the next.

“but it’s yours! i have one at home and i’m not cold, really,” you protested, trying to wiggle out of the tightly winded fabric.

“i said keep it,” childe silenced another protest by simply kissing you, continuing to do so whenever you opened your mouth until he rendered you speechless. you didn’t have the energy to say anything else, hiding your face in the scarf in embarrassment. “wherever you might be, it’ll be easier to spot you this way. i’ll always find my way back to you, hm?”

“are you implying i’ll run away from you?”

“i know you won’t.” you really wanted to wipe the confident smirk from his face. “but i’m saying that i might come home sooner than you think and surprise you.”

“thank you, thank you so much,” you thanked the kind lady profusely, wiping your tears quickly as you took the scarf and hugged it to you. you were still shaking slightly, whether from your frustration or the coldness, you couldn’t quite tell. you quickly offered her some kind of help in return, simply wanting to somehow repay the kindness. however, she shook her head, insisting that she didn’t do anything and simply held onto the scarf as she was sure someone was looking for it. in the darkness and the dimly lit alley, you couldn’t see the uniform she was wearing, unmistakably a fatui uniform. had you spotted it, maybe you could have put two and two together.

wrapping the scarf around you, you said goodbye to her and made your way home - only now did you realize how late it was, almost midnight. childe would scold you, if he only knew that you were still roaming the streets around this time of the day. you turned at the corner of the street, almost close to your home when someone grabbed your arm. in panic, you whirled around, hands on your weapon before your eyes fell onto a familiar figure.

“found you,” childe grinned at you as if he hadn’t been gone for months without sending any notice to either you or his family. so nonchalant and lighthearted as always. “told you the scarf was a telltale sign, i was able to spot you from miles away. what are you doing out at this hour, huh?”

not even greeting him, you jumped into his arms, hugging him tightly to you as the tears finally broke free from you again. “you idiot, you absolute idiot,” you sniffled, punching his chest lightly. “why didn’t you send any letter for months? do you know how much i’ve been worrying? and your family as well? and you come home like nothing happened?”

childe caught you, rubbing your back gently as he attempted to comfort you. maybe it wasn’t his smartest move to stay radio silent for months, his work got the best of him. he held you as he carried you the remainder of the way to your apartment, knowing it like the back of his hand. you didn’t let go as he tried to place you on the armchair, opting to carry you with him as he prepared the kettle for some tea. “i’m sorry, i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to, i swear,” he apologized to you, gently pecking your cheeks. “i won’t be leaving anytime soon, promise.”

“i’m still mad at you,” you grumbled, letting go of him as he set you on the counter to grab some mugs.

“i know, and i’ll make it up to you.”

“to teucer, anthon and antonia too.”

“of course.”

you watched as he prepared your tea as you liked it. it almost felt unreal that he was back after all this time. in between your pent up frustration and anger from the day, your joy about his return made your heart soar, you could hardly get it to calm. that was until he faced you with raised eyebrows. “a little birdy told me you spent all this time outside trying to find the scarf? i could’ve just gotten you a new one, you know. it’s not that important.”

“to you. i was devastated. and how do you even know that? are you spying on me?”

“that’s for me to know and for you to find out.”

#genshin impact #gi #genshin childe #childe #tartaglia #genshin tartaglia #childe x reader #childe x you #genshin x reader #genshin x you #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact fatui #fatui harbinger #tartaglia x reader #tartaglia x you #writing

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ownedbythescribe · 11 months

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Liyue | Lost In You

ıllı Synopsis: Lost in your eyes, in your voice, and in your touch. Even with a simple turn, these men are captivated. For them, there is only you.

ıllı Genre: Fluff, Romance, Slight Angst-Comfort

ıllı Notes: Gender Neutral Reader

ıllı Warnings: Use of pet names

ıllı A/N: It’s been so long since I wrote, and this is quite short. I hope I still did them justice. Enjoy!

🍁 BAIZHU — LAGENARIA

Winter was quite heavy this year, an unexpected affliction to the season. Liyue was covered in soft blankets of white in the morning with children playing outside much to their content. In the evening, snow would pelt down harshly, barring anyone from exiting their homes to travel or do work. Quite a predicament for adventurers and herb gatherers who longed to travel at night due to their commissions’ specifications or because certain herbs only bloom once the sun sat down. However, it did not deter you or Baizhu from going nonetheless.

With heavy coats and mittens on your person, you three (Changsheng included) ended up stuck in a cave as you wait for the wintry winds to pass. The road outside was impossible to see, and the thick coats could only handle so much. It was wise to let the snowstorm die down first before trotting the route ahead. While waiting, Changsheng and you fell asleep while Baizhu insisted on staying up to read his patient’s prescriptions. A worried look was plastered on your face, but he assured you that doing this relaxed him. Plus, he wished to see your peaceful face which caused your face to erupt in hundred shades of red.

“Seriously… Don’t worry, I’ll just take a short nap then I’ll be in charge after. Good…night.” You yawned, resting your body close to him. The greenhead smiled softly and pulled the blanket over to your neck. Changsheng hissed a goodnight as well before slithering from his left to your side for warmth. Baizhu lightly chuckled before kissing the crown of your head.

“Rest well, Darling.”

Time passed, and by the time you opened your eyes, dawn was just breaking out. Rising from your position, you turned to the man beside you, and it seemed like he must have fallen halfway through his reading. His notebook laid on his chest, and his eyeglasses were still on. You reached out to take it off and place the blanket on his person instead. Changsheng, who was around your neck, nuzzled on your cheeks and looked at her contractor. She snickered at how ridiculous his position was.

“Tssss, this guy. What a stubborn lover you have, (Y/N). Hayst, hmm, could you take me outside, Dear? The sun would feel wonderful on our skin.” The snake asked. You obliged and went out to meet the new day.

The sun had not fully risen, and the wind was biting as ever, but the rays slowly warmed up your and Changsheng’s skins. It was a nice feeling, and the gorgeous view of the mountain caused you to appreciate Liyue even more.

“I wish Baizhu could see this amazing view. Qiqi would have also loved this. Don’t you think so?” You asked your companion.

“Maybe. This view is nothing new to me, but seeing this with a dear friend makes me think this is the first time I’ve seen it. You really have a strange effect on others, (Y/N).” Changsheng replied, slithering around your stomach, causing you to giggle at how ticklish it felt. You two bathed in the sunlight for a long time before a rustle was heard from behind. You turned your head and saw Baizhu stretching, his hair flowing out like rivers. Not to mention, the ray enhanced his beauty.

‘I can’t believe I have such a hot man for my lover! Thank you, gods, for this blessing!’ You giddily thought. Smiling, you reached out to his arm and pulled him to your position to show the view outside.

“A beauty, right? Next time, maybe in spring, let’s come here again!” You grinned. He nodded and tucked a loose hair in your face before turning to stretch around. What he missed was the way your cheeks flushed at that. Changsheng simply snickered before slithering back to Baizhu who remained oblivious to your predicament.

“What a lovestruck fool. Tssss~ But what can I say, they’re a cute couple. Hehe~”

🍁 XIAO — ALATUS NEMEOSES

“Hmm? Qingyun Peak, Mount Aocang, and Huaguang Forest. The last one should be Mount Hulao for Jueyun Karst. After that, I can head to Luhua Pool!” You cheered, seeing that you were still on schedule with collecting regional specialties around Liyue for your journal.

“What are you doing here?” A cool voice from behind asked.

“Holy sh— Xiao!? You scared the Archons out of me. Please make some noise when you appear.” You heaved out a frightened sigh. He merely gave you a blank look before raising his question again. Blinking, you happily told him about the reason you were in Jueyun Karst.

Adepti and gods alike had lived for hundreds and thousands of years. They trudged through several civilizations with the responsibility to guide and lead. As an interstellar adeptus, it was your duty to guide and protect the people of Liyue at night using the wind and moonlight as your medium. Xiao had been your companion throughout those times. As memorable as it was, time progressed, and those little moments soon began to fade like wind brewing against dandelion flowers. You realized that with the ever-changing world, only by seeing through one’s own eyes and carrying pieces of those moments would they be preserved. Needless to say, memories also carried tragedy in their wake. The grief and loss brought by war still laced the mind, but you had already come to terms with them. Albeit not easily as it took centuries to fully move on.

Zhongli did once say that each being we meet along the way will shine like gold in our memories. He was right. Guizhong, Sky Bracer, Marchosius, and other gods lost to time left an impact on your mind.

“That’s why, I hope that with every piece I collect and put in this little scrapbook of mine, I get to remember the past. Oh, here, do you remember this sketch, Xiao? Hehehe~ I remember pestering a human to create this for me in memories of Menogias.” You recalled, softly smiling at the memories of the Geo General elaborating his design. Bosacius and Alatus barely listened while Bonanus and Indarias were busy picking out their favorites.

Just the thought of them squeezed your heart. The sound of their joyful peals of laughter rang in your ears, and tears immediately formed in your eyes. However, before one could fall, a finger gently wiped it away.

“Their dream of living as mortals may have been deserted, but protecting this very land until their very end was their pride and joy. What they shared with us will be our greatest treasure and this present, we should cherish. I hope that brought you a little comfort.” He voiced, lips turning upwards at the thought of his family wishing for them to see the future for what it was worth. The contented look plastered on his face caused you to break into a smile as well.

‘They’re smiling now. What a relief.’ He thought to himself.

Suddenly, a gust of wind blew, and the page of the scrapbook turned to another item you forgot you placed there. You gently caressed the item like it was a fragile object, which was definitely how it was considering the passage of time. Gently closing it, you turned to Xiao and pulled him down the mountain.

“I’m going to Mount Hulao to get some Qingxin flowers. Come with me.” You urged, pulling him with a grin. Startled, he let himself be dragged to the said place.

“Hey, slow down!”

“Thank you for everything, Xiao!” You shouted as you two fell. He shook his head at your antics before shifting your positions and carrying you in his arms.

“Reckless as always, but it’s because of that that I adore you.” He whispered in your ear, causing you to flush. Words like that were rarely uttered, and they would always make you feel like crystalflies fluttered inside your stomach.

🍁 ZHONGLI — LAPIS DEI

Night in Liyue Harbor remained bustling with people as the day merchants call out to sell the last of their products. Evening shops began to open and local diners started to become full as customers flood their establishments. On such night, the moon shone brightly on her people.

“All right! One more bottle, Master!” You shouted as you swing the empty bottle in your hand with vigor. Cheeks flushed and mind dazed in alcohol, you did not see a slight disappointment (and amusement) dancing in your companion’s eyes.

“Now, now, (Y/N). You might want to slow down on your alcohol. It’s not wise to get drunk when you’ve barely eaten anything.” Zhongli advised, gently taking the cup from your hands while signaling the master for a cup of water instead. You lightly pouted and told him that you ate a few fried vegetables here and there, but he knew better. The plate of the said dish was barely gobbled.

Laying your head on your right hand, your eyes drifted to the harbor below. Flickering lights danced in your eyes, and watching the people shop around joyfully warmed your heart.

“I’m so happy the people of Liyue are thriving well on their own. The Qixing did a good job leading them toward progress. But… do you regret living your post, dear Morax?” You asked, a lilt in your tone.

The refined man sipped his tea calmly before his piercing eyes reached yours. A small smile made its way to his face, a forlorn one that carried resignation. He replied that his ‘death’ might have been abrupt, ending his reign, but it was for Liyue’s sake. It was important for them to be able to stand on their own feet. After all, life was unpredictable and even a god like him could be slain with the right weapon.

“Hmm. I guess you are right. However, I must say, this is a nice change. No wonder Ping decided to live with the mortals.” You joked, stirring the cup in your hand.

Zhongli grabbed a fried lotus when the waiter came in to give your order which was fried squid. You immediately saw the way he recoiled at the dish making you laugh out loud. Taking your chopsticks out, you grabbed one and savored the taste. The seasonings were just right, and they ensured it did not taste fishy.

“Yum~ You’re missing out on these savories, Dearie. They taste absolutely fantastic.” You teased, but you were met with silence. Zhongli, who had his mouth lightly open, was astounded. The endearment you gave him was a first. Usually, you would not call him anything other than Li, Zhongli, Rex, or Stoney.

Glancing back, your eyes squinted at the flush present on his cheeks. Despite how muddled your mind was, the gears still worked, and a chuckle erupted from your lips.

“Li, Dear. Are you flustered because of that? Hayaa… So cute. Maybe, I should call you that just to get that adorable reaction!” You cheekily voiced, liking the unexpected outcome of your words. Unfortunately, you did not notice the way Zhongli stood up and face you until you felt something warm on your lips and the squid disappearing from your mouth.

“I am right. It still tastes awful as I remember, but it was quite bearable coming from you. Oh, Master, another cup of Jasmine Tea please.” He innocently called to the man of the establishment. It was now your turn to blush at his boldness. Immediately, you covered your face with your arms and even tried to hide it by resting your head above the table.

‘This idiot! That was uncalled for!’

Zhongli noticed it and simply chuckled. You were and would always be adorable in his eyes. He wished the master would hasten his brewing though. The squid was too rubbery for his liking.

Please do not copy or repost my stories, but notes and reblogs are always appreciated!

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin x reader #romance #fluff #baizhu #xiao #zhongli #baizhu x reader #xiao x reader #zhongli x reader

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two-white-butterflies · 1 year

Text

coaxed you into paradise - c. 25

Description: The life of Saera Targaryen told in four acts. She was her father's forgotten daughter, cast aside as she looked nothing like her mother. Her younger days were spent beside her uncle. Years following her marriage with Ser Harwin Strong, she catches him in an affair with her older sister. She returns to seek solace in the arms of her uncle, that she's loved all her life.

(Coaxed You Into Paradise and High Infidelity Rewrite.)

masterlist for this series

Chapter Twenty-Five: Bastards of House Targaryen

Alyssa found the river calming - it was enough from the city that its waste couldn’t potentially harm her, but still close enough for her to visit. The river was her home - the closest thing to a clean beach. She exhales deeply, allowing her body to be fully submerged in the river.

“It’s not safe here, princess.” Ser Aran, a member of the gold cloaks, reminded her - holding his sword close to his body. This was the route of the bandits, and despite being seasoned in warfare - he was no match to their large number. Alyssa closes her eyes, water barely reaching her neck.

“Don’t be a coward, Ser.” She rolled her eyes knowing that no harm would come to her - not when her mother’s husband was the Rogue Prince. “We must head home, princess.” he pleads - watching her relax under the harsh pulse of the water. Alyssa looked like a river nymph, whose beauty could enrapture the gods. A true jewel of Kingslanding.

A chuckle escaped her lips, toes gently kissing the rocky soil. “You would rather return to the messy capital?” she teased, a sigh escaped his lips. Alyssa was petulant and mischievous. Only Princess Saera could control her.

He looked at the sun, it was early in the morning - no harm would come from a bit of strolling. “We may stay, my lady - but we have to return in a few minutes.” he gave in, her smile deepens - watching as his figure walks away, allowing her privacy.

Ser Aran has been in her kepus’ dispense since she was born. Alyssa valued his company - and appreciated his soft-heartedness. She allows her body to be submerged in water again. Queen Alicent often told her that she was as green as summer grass, knowing nothing but the warmth of the sun.

A person clears his throat, and she is sharply reminded of reality. She turns around, meeting the eye of the One Eyed Prince. “You’ve arrived,” she smiled - offering her hand for him to join her. “I apologize for being late, my lady - I had to greet Princess Saera.” he smiled, quickly shedding his coat and making his way to the river. “You are slow, my lord - Ser Aran was about to send me home.” she teased, waiting for him to make his way beside her.

“I’m sorry,” he hummed - burying his face on her neck.

“Did you tell my muña?” Alyssa questioned, feeling the fear creep up her throat. She’s spent six-years alone in the capital - her uncle the only ally that she could be true with. “I-I could not, she’s scary, Isa.” his face flushed into a crimson hue, and a childish giggle escapes her mouth.

Aemond could be a scary creature but he was a coward when it came to Saera and Daemon. “- but she’s one of the few people that would understand us.” Alyssa reminded, tracing her hands on his back. “We’ll say it at the same time then,” he offered - and it was her turn to flush crimson. “What?” her eyes widened - a small laugh escapes his mouth.

—

“Viserra,” Saera gently calls, attempting to pry the small dragon away from her daughter. The child crosses her arms with a huff, running away to the other part of the room. “It is past your bedtime, my sweet girl.” Saera cooes, holding the small dragon in place. Viserra was her most difficult child - the child was a mixture of Daegon’s ambition, Alyssa’s petulance and Daelon’s sensitivity. She was difficult - but her parents loved her.

“No,” the girl rolled her eyes - quickly bolting to the other part of the room. Daemon enters the room with Daelon in his arms. “Is our Princess unable to sleep?” he inquired, giving his wife a small smile.

“Kepa!” the child ran to her father, wrapping her small arms around his legs. “I don’t want to sleep yet,” Viserra complains with a pout. “How else will you grow?” her mother inquires while taking Daelon away from her kepa’s hands. “I don’t want to,” Viserra crosses her arms.

Daemon began to regret naming Viserra after Viserys and his aunt (with the same name.) It seems like the child has inherited all of their persistent features. “You wish to be small forever?” he inquired with an unamused stare. Viserra was staring at him too - not wanting to break their little contest.

“I’ll take care of our little dove,” he whispered, quickly kneeling to the child’s level and picking her up without a second thought. That was when Viserra began to giggle, laughing as she was placed on her father’s back and carried to her room.

A sigh escapes Saera’s mouth. Viserra is going to be a headache once she’s grown.

—

“They’re finally asleep,” Daemon breathed a sigh of relief, slumping on his chair and pouring his wife a goblet of wine. “They remind me of you,” he added with a small chuckle, wrapping his arms around Saera. “I do not remember having personality as a child,” she tilted her head.

“You were always running around, refusing to listen to your kepa.” he remembered, smiling at the thought of his wife. He didn’t know that she’d be his wife, then - and he does not wish that he knew sooner. “Our children can hear us, but they refuse to listen.” she chuckled, knowing that the children preferred to have their own opinions.

“It’s a sign of an intelligent mind,” he praised - only seeing the best in his creations. “I wonder where they got it from,” she hummed, leaning her head on his shoulder. The Princess was about to fall asleep, but a knock on the door springs her back to life. “Open the door,” she commanded - and Daemon stands up from his seat, opening the door slightly to peek his head and stare at the unwelcome visitors.

To his surprise it was his daughter, Alyssa, and his nephew, Aemond.

“May we come in?” Alyssa inquired, he nods - and opens the door.

“Who is it?” Saera asks, placing her goblet on the table. Daemon finds his way beside her, sitting on the chair and staring at the children accusingly. He had his doubts about them. He analyzed the way they spoke when around each other. It reeked of love. “Muña,” Alyssa smiled, gently nudging Aemond.

“I wish to ask for your daughter’s hand in marriage,” Aemond spoke, keeping his eyes on his sister. “What?” Daemon raised his voice, in shock that either of them would have the audacity. “If it is what Alyssa wants - I do not see why we should disapprove.” Saera looked at her husband - seeking his permission. “Your kepa did not ask my father for my hand in marriage, and I am relieved that you found the time to inform us.” Saera smiled, but deep inside - she was fighting a battle.

Was it going to be the best choice?

Shouldn’t she betroth Alyssa to Tygos Hightower or Cregan Stark?

Was Alyssa going to be happy?

“It is what I want, muña.” Alyssa nodded, holding her beloved’s hand. “Then, we give you our full blessings.” she hummed - smiling as her daughter beams in joy.

—

Daegon opens the door to Helaena’s solar, his eyes moving back and forth from her children to her. “Hel,” he greets and she continues inspecting her signature centipede. “Dae,” she replies in a low tone, allowing her children to play with the beatles. “I wasn’t aware that you’d be returning,” she added, and he began to sit down on the floor beside her.

“We didn’t announce our arrival,” he smiles and she hands him Jahaera. The little girl looked like his sister, she had big bubbly cheeks and coarse white hair. It was clear that she was a Targaryen.

He holds the baby gently, remembering the times where he had to take care of his own siblings. He pities Helaena, as rumors tell him that her husband isn’t a good person. “Are the dreams better?” he asks, basing the conversation off the letters that they sent each other. She shakes her head, placing the bugs on their jars. “No,” she whispers - her attention remained plastered on the insects. “What are they about?” he asks, finding beauty in her dreams.

She was a perfect poet - the way she delivered her poems. He loved listening to her.

For the first time, she turns her head to look at him.

Her mouth was pressed into a thin line. Her attention would have remained on him, if not for her son who babbled and tried to reach her hair. “Spools of White, become Spools of Green. Spools of Black, become Spools of white.” she rambles - her eyes zooming off. The Dance of the Dragons was about to begin.

next chapter>>

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heesdreamer · 2 years

Text

it will be

PAIRING ➩ sunghoon x reader x jay

SUMMARY ➩ starting your life in college filled with your mothers paranoia and lack of social skills, you befriend three boys with a long twisted history. a history that somehow leads to the handsome boy with the cold stare.

GENRE ➩ slight mystery but mainly college slice of life strangers to enemies to friends to lovers (lol) with a love triangle

WARNINGS ➩ mentions of character death and suicide (not proofread)

WC ➩ 14.6k

Your mother had always made it clear to you what type of people to stay away from.

You’d hear countless stories and lectures, paranoia fueled nostalgia about girls who smacked their gum too loud and teachers who have bushy mustaches.

She spent most of your childhood passing on her warnings to you, preparing you for the trials and many characters life would throw in your path, and you held onto every word.

It almost became a game between the two of you, you’d lean over in public and tug on her sleeve, giving a subtle nod towards a stranger while out in public. She’d either give you a soft shrug, a smile and a nod, or she’d furrow her eyebrows and wag her fingers.

The latter was the expression you saw the most, and it was her way of telling you, that person was absolutely up to no good.

It’s times like this you wish your mother was here with you and that it wouldn’t be a total social disaster if she was. You considered for a second pulling your phone from your bag and giving her a call, asking her read on the people around you in a soft hushed whisper.

And there was lots of people around you. It was the first day of college orientation and you were standing in, what was apparently, a student hotspot. You’d wish you’d known this sooner so you could’ve mapped out your route better and avoided this mess of uniforms and loud voices.

You imagined the way you were raised saved you from a lot of awkward situations, possibly helping you to avoid ever being pranked or taken advantage of throughout high school.

But now that you were a freshly turned adult and starting your new independent free life, you started to think her paranoia had rubbed off on you completely. You were a mess and no amount of keeping your head held high and shoulders back was disguising it.

You don’t think you were standing still for that long, although maybe your figure stood clutching your single book was just too hard to avoid in the rushing foot traffic around you, but you realized you must’ve been dazed out when you felt a body slam into you from behind.

Propelling forward, your hands went out in front of you and collided roughly onto the cement. A hiss of pain shot it’s way out from between your clenched teeth and you shut your eyes tight in a silent prayer you hadn’t broken any skin.

“Oh my god, oh my god.” The voice coming from your right was pitchy and frantic, guilt and panic coating the words and you sighed softly, furrowing your brows at the sidewalk below you. When you finally took a glance up at your collider, you attempted to tame your expression to a neutral one.

You were slightly taken back to see, not one, but three people around you. All of their gazes held different levels of upset and you quickly pieced together the one with the red face and jittering hands was the one who had run into you.

“I’m so sorry.” The boy was frowning deeply and tugging on the sleeve of his knitted sweater, for a moment you wondered if he was going to cry. “I’m really so sorry, they always tell me I need to watch where I’m walking.”

You scanned your eyes to the two boys next to him and one gave you a soft shrug in approval to what he was saying.

The other was suddenly kneeling down beside you, reaching over to grab your book that had been abandoned in the grass for the length of your conversation. He looked at the cover for just a moment before smiling and nudging it in your direction.

Despite the short duration they’ve been in your line of sight, you could practically see your mother next to you, giving you a warm smile and a thumbs up as she pointed at the trio of boys.

That was all you needed to give you a jump, taking your book back and standing swiftly. You didn’t bother brushing the rocks from your knees or checking if they were bleeding, you needed to get out of here as soon as possible.

“Not a big deal.” You muttered, trying to keep it as genuine as you could muster. And it truly was not a big deal, the boy was sorry and obviously meant no harm. Yet the embarrassment of both falling and your terrible social skills was getting to you.

You heard a soft squeal like groan and your eyes widened, shooting back to the boy who had hit you.

“You’re bleeding.” He practically shrieked and now you were truly convinced he was going to start crying any moment now. “Let us make it up to you, do you like chocolate?”

“How about coffee?” The second boy, the one who had shrugged, was speaking now and your eyes floated in his direction before going back to the first who was now digging through his bag, presumably for chocolate.

You were fully furrowing your eyebrows now, not bothering to mask your expression of confusion. The boy who had picked up your book was smiling still, playful amusement now gracing his features.

He felt your gaze on him and met your eyes, startling you slightly, he furthered your confusion by raising an eyebrow at you and adjusting his glasses. For a split second you mistook his expression as flirtatious and you felt sleazed out before realizing it was simple adoration for his friends antics.

“I think,” You cleared your throat and thankfully the first boy halted in his backpack rummaging, still looking flustered. “I’d prefer a free coffee over…. your backpack candy.”

The three remained frozen for a moment before the second boy started to laugh, swaying into the one with glasses. “Jake, seriously dude. Why would she eat candy from a stranger?”

The first boy, who you now knew was called Jake, looked insulted and even more taken back as the conversation went on. “I literally go here, look at my beanie. Am I going to poison her in broad daylight right in the square?“

Your eyes trailed up to his beanie and you almost laughed, now noticing your universities logo knitted onto the fold. The boy with glasses was still smiling as he watched you, seemingly gauging your reactions to the current topic.

“To be fair the coffee would be free regardless.” Your attention went back to the second boy and you were starting to feel used to the dizzying pace of conversation changes. “Our friend works there, we don’t have to pay.”

“Sounds like a friend I’d want to have.” You were proud of the way it flowed off your tongue, feigning like you weren’t dripping in awkwardness was working in your favor.

With soft smiles you watched them turn on their heels and for a moment you lagged, wondering if you were meant to follow them or if they were just joking about hanging out with you. The paranoia was quickly lost when the boy with glasses glanced behind him, waiting for you to catch up.

——

It didn’t take long for you to understand that ‘getting free coffee from our friend’ more so meant they were planning to beg and plead with the pretty boy behind the counter for drinks.

The second you had walked through the door, a chirpy whistle ringing through the speakers to announce your arrival, the boy wearing an apron had sighed and rolled his eyes in your direction.

“Guys, not today. It’s busy okay.” He was waving a hand in dismissal but he had no annoyance on his face despite the exaggerated expressions. Still despite his warnings, the trio of boys all rushed towards the counter top and you followed hesitantly behind them.

“It’s urgent this time Sunoo.” Jake rushed out and the pink haired barista, Sunoo (apparently), put a hand on the counter and gave Jake a knowing look. “No I mean it this time, our new friend is injured.”

You completely froze at his word choice and four sets of eyes looked in your direction. Sunoo’s eyes softened seeing your bloody knees and hands, getting a closer look as you awkwardly waved as an introduction.

“What’d you do Jay?” He was asking and you felt confused for a second before remembering you hadn’t even gotten the other boys names.

Your silent question was quickly answered by the boy in glasses yelling out in defense and smacking a hand on the counter top. “Why would it be me?“

“It was Jake.” The second boy, still unnamed to you, was talking again and you watched him silently. “But it was an accident and we are here requesting an apology coffee.”

Sunoo’s eyes were flickering over their shoulders and back to you now and you held his gaze, curious about his thoughts on the situation. “Did they offer a real apology first?”

The other boys turned back to look at you and you once again saw Jake’s eyes well up with guilt for hurting you. You shrugged softly and dug the toe of your shoe towards the floor.

“I like coffee.”

——

You’d been spending the last few weeks waiting for your genetic ‘bad person’ radar to go off.

At times you felt guilty for almost looking for a reason to not trust the four boys who had quickly become your first and only friends at college and quite frankly, throughout your entire school career.

During one of your many movie nights, you’d just sit and watch their faces. Waiting for a moment of fake expression, a slight glare towards the others or a glitch in their nice facade. But you were quickly understanding that you had simply hit the lottery on friends.

You were especially fond of Jungwon, the final nameless boy had swiftly infiltrated your daily routine and become your closest and most trusted friend. You knew you weren’t his bestfriend, considering he was the type of person who made friends anywhere he went, but you found yourself feeling lucky he was yours.

The other three were just as good, although slightly more extroverted than you were prepared for. Jake was loud and puppy like, and absolutely clumsy, something you should’ve realized considering your first encounter.

Jay wasn’t around as much as the other three, rarely texting back in the group chat but Jungwon assured you he was just busy studying and that he also was on the football team, which surprised you.

When he was around, he was typically quiet and silently moving around with an amused look remaining stuck on his face.

And most of your mornings throughout the week, you spent with Sunoo, sitting in the same spot in the corner of the small coffee shop and attempting to show gratitude for all the free drinks he gave to you.

It was taking you some time to catch onto their rhythm, they were obviously familiar with each other and had learned each other’s patterns and behaviors but you felt a small bud of hope and pride knowing you had managed to make friends despite how sheltered you felt on your first day.

Now however, you were regretting it.

Somehow, unbeknownst to you, Jake had not only managed to drag all 3 of you to Jay’s first football game of the year, but he had also gotten you all to coordinate supportive outfits.

“I definitely don’t like the school enough to be wearing this.” Your mouth was downturned in a slight pout and your arms were crossed tightly in front of you, resisting the urge to scratch at the paint on your cheeks.

“But we like Jay.” Jake argued, stretching his leg over the bleacher and tumbling into the spot next to you. You heard Sunoo groan from the other side of him as pieces of his popcorn spilled overtop. “And you look sort of badass.”

You turned your head to scowl at him and met his smiley face, the mock war paint across his raised cheeks was mirroring yours.

“You do a bit.” Your eyes shifted slightly to watch Jungwon’s head peek out from behind Sunoo. They looked like three meerkats all staring at you with big smiles. “The pout really adds to the intensity.”

“Oh I can be intense.” You argued and uncrossed your arms, placing them firmly down on the bleachers. You tried to hold back the shiver that wracked through you when your hands touched the dewy droplets.

Then the game was starting and Jay was following his teammates out onto the wet grass, his eyes focused and more intense than you were used to.

“Let’s go Jongsung.” Jake was springing from his seat suddenly, arms up in the air and you jumped back to avoid the rain of popcorn that he seemingly forgot he was holding.

You were stopped in your slide away from Jake and his food tornado when you smacked into somebody’s side, you quickly swung your head around to glance to your right and froze up at the icy glare being shot your way.

The boy sitting next to you was staring daggers down towards you as you leaned back onto your hands, attempting to distance yourself from his face while also not wanting to sit on the wet popcorn.

There was a beat of silence that passed between the two of you, the sounds of your friends cheering and the plays of the game being announced slightly drowned out but the rush of anxiety in your head.

You weren’t sure what you were waiting for, if you were expecting the boy to snap at you for colliding with him or maybe even pick a fight with Jake for spilling his popcorn all over the surrounding area. His eyebrows were downturned still and you imagined whatever it was, couldn’t be good.

For a second you could see your mom, frowning and wagging her finger in you in a haste to alert you that this guy was bad news, and then he spoke.

“You have popcorn in your hair.”

Your mouth parted in surprise and it took you a moment to process that he was speaking, and that it was directed towards you, and he hadn’t called you an idiot for hitting him so suddenly. Without moving you glanced up at your hair, still frozen in your seat.

“I’m sorry about my friend.” A voice was coming from behind you now and you realized Sunoo had climbed out of his seat and was now sitting on the bleacher above you, watching the interaction with a curious look. “She’s an idiot.”

This knocked you out of your trance and you scowled, turning your body to smack his leg and push him as he started to laugh and scoot back towards his seat next to Jungwon. You turned back to the boy and your scowl dropped when you met his stare again.

“I’m sorry.” You tried to keep your voice steady but your eyes failed you, bouncing all around his face and back over his shoulder to avoid looking at him. He didn’t respond to you, only watching you intensely for a moment and then turning back away from you.

Once the hold of his gaze was lifted you slowly turned your body back to face the field, locking eyes with your friend who was standing against the fence down on the greenery. He raised an eyebrow in your direction and you titled your head in confusion, but a whistle was blown and he was jogging back to the benches before you could get an explanation.

——

The boy eventually left and you were able to relax, the game went by faster than you had thought it would and you even found yourself having a lot of fun watching them play, despite not understanding exactly why you were standing and cheering as you followed Jake’s lead. You were glad to be leaving the stands now though, hands cold and stiff, your nose was most likely bright red as you sniffled and walked down the slippery steps.

Out in the parking lot, it was dark now except for the bright lights from the field causing a slight white hue onto the parked cars. You carefully avoided puddles as you listened to your friends animatedly talk and recap the plays.

“So you enjoyed it then?” A voice was calling out slightly, cutting off Jungwon mid sentence and causing the three of them to stop their pace and glance behind you. You followed their actions, turning around slowly to see who had spoke.

There was two boys you didn’t recognize approaching you and you felt a spike of anxiety run through you at the unfamiliar situation. Their football uniforms showing your schools logo slightly calmed your nerves as you figured your friends must know them.

However you felt a hand wrap around your arm and turned your head to see Jake scowling and pulling you back towards the three of them. You hadn’t seen Jake with such a negative expression before and the fear built up again.

“What do you want Nishimura?” His voice was deeper than usual and laced with anger and annoyance. The two boys across from you kept up on their strides to approach you, stopping a few car lengths away.

One of the boys, still wearing his football gear but loosely holding his helmet down by his side, smiled and held a hand out in mock surrender. “Since when are we so hostile Jakey? Don’t be so formal.”

“Don’t ask stupid questions then.” The tone of Sunoo’s voice was one you had heard before, when he scolded Jungwon or complained about the noise of you all, but the intensity was completely new. He lacked all the affection that normally followed.

Your eyes turned to the boy who hadn’t spoken yet, he lacked the cocky smile that the Nishimura boy was sporting but he held your gaze tightly and cocked his head to the side.

“We can’t ask how your night was?” Nishimura was speaking again but you kept your gaze on the other boy, a silent staring contest. “Or who your new friend is?”

At the mention of you, you broke your gaze on the other boy and looked towards the one speaking. He was watching you with amusement and slight curiosity but there was something else behind the surface emotions and you once again heard your mothers voice.

This boy was absolutely no good.

“It’s none of your business.” You barely registered that you had spoken, the anger in your voice unfamiliar even to you but you had judged his character and your mind was made up. You felt Jake’s hand squeeze your arm but you weren’t sure if it was in support or warning.

“She speaks.” You were slightly surprised when the other silent boy spoke, head whipping to look at him. He was leaning on his side against the car near him and keeping his stare on you still.

“What are you guys doing?” A third unfamiliar voice was chiming in now and you were reminded of the first day you had met the boys next to you, although the vibe of the situations were complete opposite’s.

Nishimura turned his head to look behind him but the other boy kept his eyes on your frame, causing you to shuffle in discomfort. He seemed to know who was approaching without looking.

“Just catching up with some old friends.” Nishimura kissed his teeth and shook his head like he was disappointed in the outcome of the situation. “Shame they’re not up for conversation.”

When the third unknown boy finally caught up to you, the light from the stadium bouncing off the water to highlight his face, you were taken back slightly to see the boy you had bumped into earlier.

He seemed just as surprised, quickly masking it however. He slowed his pace as he stood in between the other two boys, analyzing the situation that was unfolding.

“Niki.” He was speaking, his voice low and almost commanding. You watched as Nishimura (Niki rather) slowly lost his amused grin and glanced at the boy next to him, waiting for his next words. “Don’t cause unnecessary issues.”

A scoff caused your attention to go back to the boy leaning against the car and you heard Jungwon sigh from behind you, obviously familiar with said boys antics somehow.

“Whats the issue? Because they’re Jay’s friends we can’t talk to them?” You didn’t miss the way he spat your friends name, like it pissed him off just to say it and you frowned.

Weren’t they on the same football team? Why did they seem so upset at your friends, and you just by association.

“Is that what we’re doing?” Sunoo was laughing behind you but it was dry and humorless. “Yeah some of us are talking.”

The sarcasm seemed to upset the third boy more and he pushed off the car, taking a few steps in your direction but stopping once the boy from the bleachers held a hand out against his chest.

He turned towards his friend and glared, shoving his hand away from him but not taking another move to approach you.

From your left, a car alarm chirped and you jumped slightly, bumping into Jake who hadn’t let go of your arm yet. All of you, including the boys you didn’t know, looked towards the noise and you felt both relieved and scared to see Jay standing by the car with the keys in his hand.

You waited for a moment to see what would happen again. If the boys would make a slick comment, if Jay would explain what was happening or laugh and say it was some prank. Maybe a fight would even break out considering all the tension.

However, in true Jay fashion, he didn’t spare a glance at the three boys in the distance. He simply nodded his head towards your group and unlocked the car. “Let’s go.”

——

“Okay are you going to keep sighing or just ask me.”

You felt bad for disturbing Sunoo on his break but you couldn’t help your overflowing curiosity about the other night. After a silent and tense ride home, nobody had spoken about the situation.

When you showed up to movie night the next day you were expecting some sort of conversation or maybe even attitude between the boys but they carried on like nothing had happened, like you hadn’t almost had a twilight style battle in the parking lot.

“Will you tell me if I ask?” You turned your head slightly and fiddled with your straw in your empty coffee cup.

He shrugged and sucked in a tight sounding breath. “Depends what you ask I guess… it’s not all my business to tell.”

You nodded and contemplated for a moment. Despite your dying need to know and understand the dynamics of what had happened, you had no interest in prying or sticking your nose where it didn’t belong. Especially since 1/3 of the boys you’d encounter had 100% failed the ‘type of person’ test.

“Can you tell me who they were at least?” Your voice was soft and you watched him intensely. Your mouth turned down slightly and you shifted in your seat. “I don’t know… they seemed mad, should I be worried.”

“They’re harmless.” His words tumbled out quickly, almost like he hadn’t meant to even say it. He seemed surprised at himself for coming to their defense so easily. “We all use to be friends… kind of. The one by the car was Heeseung, then Niki, and then Sunghoon.”

You mouthed their names and nodded along to what he was saying, pausing and waiting for him to continue. When he didn’t you felt more confused than you did before.

“Why did you talk to Sunghoon like you didn’t know him then. On the bleachers.”

He looked embarrassed slightly and you were becoming desperate to understand, but you were realizing you weren’t getting all the answers anytime soon.

“I don’t know him. He moved here right around the time we…. We stopped being friends.” He seemed like he was going in another direction but caught himself mid sentence. You felt bad seeing the dark expression on his normally cherry face.

“Just know they won’t hurt you.” He assured and you felt better hearing the genuine tone in his voice, he placed a hand overtop yours and squeezed it softly. “They normally don’t even talk to us.”

You were furrowing your eyebrows at that, opening your mouth to ask him what was different about the other night then for them to break a silent agreement, but you were cut off by the sound of the doors chime and Jake’s loud laugh.

You and Sunoo turned your heads towards the door to see your three friends pushing through it, seemingly racing for who gets to the table first. You felt guilt rise up at the awkward air between you and Sunoo and quickly tried your best to smile at the incoming trio.

Jungwon and Jake didn’t seem to notice the tense situation, clobbering into seats and urging Sunoo to go back to work. However it only took a brief glance at Jay to confirm he knew what you were talking about.

He sat in the chair closest to you and you held back a frown as he placed his arm on the back of your seat.

“I saw you talking to Sunghoon.”

The cafe suddenly seemed to fall silent and your mouth dropped open, struggling to find any words at his sudden accusation. You heard a chair creak like somebody was shifting uncomfortably.

“Jay…” Jungwon was awkwardly starting, nervously attempting to defuse the conversation that hadn’t even begun yet.

“They were already talking about it.” Jay cut him off, not sparing him a glance and keeping his eyes on yours. You were reminded of the boy from last night, Heeseung. Except Jay’s eyes lacked all anger or upset.

You felt slightly reassured at the soft look on his face, but also hurt that he would put you on the spot infront of the others considering his unwillingness to talk about it beforehand.

“He sat next to me. It was totally random I think.” You finally offered and he seemed taken back by this information.

“I didn’t even see him man.” Jake was slowly saying, approaching the situation like it was a live bomb. You were starting to think it might be.

“You don’t think that’s weird?” Jay finally removed his gaze from you and you took a deep breath, happy he was facing away now. “Has he ever come to one of the games before… ever sat on the stands like he gave a fuck what was happening on the field.”

Jungwon was sighing and sitting back in his chair. Out of all of them, he seemed the least hostile about the situation. If anything you were thinking he was more torn about what to do or what to say.

You thought back on the way Heeseung had spat the boy across from you’s name. There was no room for misinterpretation, something had happened there and he was definitely not forgiving in the slightest.

It confused you further that they were talking about the boy in the stands. Sunghoon had seemed like he was slightly agitated at his friends for approaching you the way they did. Almost having an authoritative energy towards Niki and reeling him back.

Why did his presence seem to upset Jay the most…. He had seemed nice enough on the stands and that was when he was given a perfectly good reason to cause a scene.

“What are you implying.” Jungwon voiced one of the questions you had but his tone was bitter and he let out a dry laugh. “That he purposely sought her out just to get under your skin. How would he even know we’d be there with her.”

“Let’s maybe not talk about her like she’s not right here.” You hissed and leaned back in your chair. The dismissal of your rightful curiosity and talking around you was getting to you.

Jake was frowning fully now and leaned over to pat you on the knee, keeping his hand there when he noticed your leg shaking in irritation.

“I’m sorry.” Jungwon sighed and you nodded at him, signaling it was okay. “It’s a touchy topic.”

“Really I didn’t notice.” Your tone was sarcastic and he smiled slightly. “Can you just tell me if I’m in danger or something?”

Jake nearly laughed at that and Jungwon started to shake his head quickly.

“No way dude, they’re completely harmless.” Jake assured, using the same word Sunoo had earlier. You frowned and looked at Jay who didn’t confirm or deny.

“We mean it Y/N.” Jungwon urged. “The worst thing Heeseung probably would do is steal your hoodie or something.”

You felt more confused hearing them speak so casually about the same boys they were spitting venom at the other night. The look on Jay’s face was filling in the blanks for you on who the issue had been between.

There clearly had been a moment when sides were picked and a line was drawn between them all for whatever reason. You didn’t sense any anger between the others individually, maybe secondhand in defense of Jay.

You decided that for now, you’d leave it where it was.

——

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Your foot was stinging from where you had kicked the vending machine seconds prior, after it had successfully stolen three dollars from you.

You placed your bag down on the ground, wrapping both hands around the large machine and shaking it as you rocked your frame back and forth. It rattled and buzzed, but no can fell from inside the stupid machine.

“What a thief you are.” You gave the thing a large shove and lept back when it teetered back ominously in your direction.

“I think you pissed it off.” You truly jumped now at the sudden appearance of a real voice, for a moment thinking the machine was responding to your insults. You whipped around to see Sunghoon, leaning against the brick wall.

You scanned his figure quickly, taking note of a sports jersey underneath his large leather jacket. Confusion wracked through you but you quickly looked away from him and frowned.

“I don’t think I’m supposed to talk to you.” You mumbled, squatting down and attempting to peer inside the machine. You sighed and considered sticking your hand up inside of it to retrieve the can yourself.

“Don’t do that.” Sunghoon had seemingly read your mind, you heard his jacket rustle and scrape against the rough brick. “Aren’t allowed huh?”

You felt anger surge through you at the smug tone in his voice and shook your head, not standing or facing him. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of a reaction.

“What I meant to say was that I don’t want to talk to a dickhead who upset my friends.”

He was silent behind you after your outburst and you felt fearful of his reaction for a moment, regretting not biting your tongue. Eventually he let out a hum of agreement.

“Which one are you dating by the way?” His question surprised you and you stood up quickly and turned to face him, a glare shooting from you.

“What the hell are you talking about?” You spat and tugged down your coat that had ridden up from your crouched position.

“I thought it was Jake for the way he practically turned into a feral dog in the parking lot protecting you.” As he kept talking you realized you had somehow managed to misjudge somebody’s character for potentially the first time ever. “But then I saw Sunoo holding your hand at the cafe.”

This threw you off guard. “You were spying on us?” You took a step away from him back towards the vending machine.

He watched you for a long beat of silence, an eyebrow raised like he was trying to see if you were serious. The word “harmless” was playing on a mantra in your head.

He sure didn’t look harmless, face slightly hidden behind the shadow of the machines. He was a lot bigger than you and his bleached hair made his eyebrows look ten times angrier than they possibly were. It didn’t help that he seemed slightly amused by your fearful demeanor.

“He works at the most popular cafe on campus.” He offered an explanation to you and you felt slightly dumb for not putting that together, but you were still on guard. “I just happened to pass by.”

You scoffed and bent down to pick up your stuff you had abandoned in your fight against the money stealing machine. “Well it’s none of your business, but I’m not dating any of them.”

His stoic demeanor seemed to falter for a split second before he stiffened his features again. You wondered why he seemed confused by that, if it was potentially rare for new friends to be brought into the existing group.

He took a few steps towards you and you locked up in fear, watching him intensely as he pushed off the brick wall. You kept your gaze tracked on him as he approached the vending machine, smacking it on it’s side.

You ignored the smile he shot your way as you heard the can thunk.

——

It was driving you a bit crazy, occupying your mind even when you were sat in class and meant to be listening to the important lecture your professor was giving.

You were blaming it on nothing but natural human curiosity. As far as you were concerned it had absolutely nothing to do with the way Sunghoon looked leaning against a brick wall or the fact you couldn’t get a read on him to save your life.

The mini version of your mom that tends to follow you around also seemed to be at a loss, offering you a shrug and half smile anytime you passed him on campus, which was an increasing amount you should mention.

At first you thought he might actually be spying on you like you had assumed a few days ago. He was turning up in classes you’d never seen him in before, he was sat lounging on tables in the square despite the cold bite to the weather, and he even had come into the cafe once or twice.

And that brought you to your current situation. You were sitting in your usual corner of the small building, but instead of your typical relaxed demeanor in your favorite place, your arms were crossed and your brows were furrowed.

Sunghoon was sat a few tables away from you, drinking from a straw and pretending like he didn’t feel your daggers in the side of his head. You didn’t miss the quirk of his lip every once in a while.

Even Sunoo placing a drink down infront of you didn’t break you from your one sided staring contest. He was invading your happiest place now and your patience for your new shadow was wearing thin.

A soft sigh from beside you made your frown deepen, you shifted your gaze up to Sunoo’s face as he watched you with exhaustion.

“Either talk to eachother or you’re both banned.”

Sunghoon seemed just as surprised as you at being directly addressed but he quickly masked it into an expression of indifference, the dip in your brows increased.

You didn’t say anything, looking down at your hands and fiddling with the coffee cups sleeve. Sunoo groaned but left you be, swiftly turning on his heel and going back to the other side of the shop.

A few moments of silence passed before your head the metal legs of the chair across from you squealing against the floor. You looked up through your eyelashes to watch Sunghoon swing his leg over the chair and sit widespread onto it.

“I don’t want to talk to you.” You hiss out, your leg starting to bounce in irritation and anxiety. He didn’t seem bothered by your tone, only lifting his shoulders in a loose shrug.

More silence passed between the two of you and you felt thrown off at the fact he hadn’t tried to start a conversation or make a smart remark back to you. Despite your threat of silence, you felt antsy at the lack of talking.

“Why are you following me?”

He let out a laugh before the final syllable even fell from your lips and quirked in an eyebrow in your direction, annoyingly calm and smug. “Why would I be following you?”

“You’re in my lectures.” You rushed out, not deterred by his fake casualness. “And why are you even here right now.”

He lifted his half empty coffee cup, shaking it around as a way to signal his reason for coming. “I’m in your class, not my choice.”

You were shaking your head now, leaning forward so your elbows rested against the cold table. He studied your expression as you got closer, not moving from his relaxed way of sitting.

“What’s the name of the teacher?”

Your lips curled into a smirk as he lost his facade again, this time it was prolonged and unmistakable. His eyes widened and his mouth formed an ‘O’, clearly not expecting you to question something that seemed simple enough.

You waited for him to get ahold of himself, snap back into his usual character and quirk back at you for noticing his presence in the first place. Instead he remained silent, watching you intensely with a weird expression.

He took one long final drink of his coffee and then stood up, leaving you in the shop with his empty cup.

——

It’d been a week since your strange encounter with Sunghoon, which meant it had also been a week since you’d seen the boy at all.

A large part of you felt extremely guilty, plagued with the thought that your questioning had caused him to disappear again, missing classes that he WAS apparently in. (You checked the attendance sheet.)

You were sat alone in the square, criss cross on a seat at one of the tables and laying your head down on your arms. You felt tired and the thought of hanging with your friends sounded draining for some reason.

The cold fall air was helping you stay grounded and you took low and deep breaths, enjoying the silence.

“Waiting for somebody?”

The universe must hate you. You froze mid breath and squeezed your eyes shut, willing all patience left inside you to come to the surface and help you appropriately deal with this situation. It would need a great amount of delicacy, considering the devil himself had spoken.

You opened your eyes slowly and titled your head to lock your gaze with a familiar pair, although the scenario you were in now was completely foreign.

Heeseung was sitting across from you, leaning forward on his elbows and watching your reaction to his presence. Unlike Sunghoon, your annoyance didn’t seem to amuse him. If anything, he seemed angry at you.

“Who would I be waiting for?“ You challenged causally back to him despite knowing exactly what he was implying.

You watched him closely, his jaw ticking as he tongued at his cheek in anger. You weren’t quite sure why he was talking to you and even less sure where this was heading.

“He told me to tell you he’d be back soon.” Frustration was coating his words as he recited them like he was being held at gunpoint. “He had shit to take care of.”

Shoulders lifting in a shrug, you uncrossed your legs and planted your feet firmly on the ground. “Why would I care?”

He gave you a look that implied he thought you were stupid but you were genuinely baffled that Sunghoon would think to tell you about his whereabouts. Did he somehow know you were overthinking his absence or was he just making sure he wasn’t leaving your mind despite being out of sight.

You and Heeseung fell into a weirdly comfortable silence, you continued to take your deep breaths and he was finally not staring you down, opting instead to look around at the changing leaves.

“Why do you not like me?” You cursed yourself and the lack of impulse control you possessed for interrupting the brief moment of peace, but he didn’t seem too angered.

“Do I seem like I like people much?” He wasn’t teasing or being accusatory, a genuine question in his guarded voice.

Shrugging softly you picked at your sleeves loose thread. “Sunoo said you’re harmless.”

He frozen slightly as the boys name fell from your lips, watching you with a curious expression. “What else did he say?”

“Jungwon implied you’re a hoodie thief.” You tried to keep your voice steady and nonchalant but when he let a small scoff escape him, your lips quirked in a half smile.

He seemed to be lost in thought for a moment, you wondered if he was lost in nostalgia and thinking back on whatever memories he had made with your friends or if he just wasn’t sure how to respond to your banter.

“I didn’t mean to scare you.” He finally spoke again and you raised an eyebrow at him. “The other night, I mean.”

“I was more worried about your little side kick.” You tried to keep your tone light and jokey but he seemed to somehow sense the truth behind your words, guilt flashing over his features.

“He’s a good kid.” His voice was soft but urgent like he wanted you to believe what he was saying. “He took what happened really hard, he wasn’t like that at all before.”

For a second you considered playing along, baiting Heeseung into telling you details of the story that he seemed to think you already knew. This could potentially be your only chance at finding out what had occurred between the boys.

“It’s none of my business what happened.” You said instead, shaking your head and leaning on your elbows in similar fashion to him. “Is it really just something set in stone though?”

He sighed deeply and ran a hand through his hair. For a moment you remembered back to when you’d first met him, to the way he swatted Sunghoon’s hand off his chest.

He didn’t seem to hold the same respect for the other boy that Niki did, if anything, some of the anger in his gaze seemed directed at Sunghoon too, not just Jay. You were curious why he ended up on the side he did.

“I’ll get back to you on that.“

——

Considering how the last time you’d been in this scenery ended , you weren’t feeling the slight bit optimistic about how the night was going to play out.

You were squished in between Jake and Jungwon, a coat and scarf doing it’s best to warm you up although proving no match to the bitter cold night air. It was an understatement to say you were questioning the reasoning behind the months football was active.

Jay had actually requested you don’t attend this game, groaning and shaking off Jake as he hugged the former and plead for permission to come.

And here you were, shaking and already starting to sniffle, but you couldn’t help the adrenaline that pumped through you at the sound of the buzzing crowd and loud speakers.

The stands almost seemed blood thirsty, you felt anticipation and worry at the eerie undertone of their chants and yells. You decided you were just being paranoid, the game hadn’t even started yet.

When Jay ran out onto the field, recognizable to you despite being in a line of other boys in similar gear, you wasted no time, following Jake’s lead instinctively this time.

Your friend didn’t look in your direction but you watched him shake his head, a smile on his face beneath the slight embarrassment. You laughed as Jake flew back dramatically in his seat, yelling about his idol noticing him.

The crowd was vibrating as the game started, conversations flowing and passing by in a blur. Your cheers melted into your shrieks of laughter when Sunoo threw water in your direction, melting into groans of disappointment at a bad play for your team.

You felt drunk on social activity and everybody around you seemed just as amped up, worries about the high tension snapping escaped you and you finally leaned into the fan culture of the game.

And then a player, sporting colors unfamiliar to you, turned his shoulder completely and rammed into Jay’s chest.

The crowd took one collective breath, and then fell into complete silence. There was no mistaking the move as unintentional, the opposite player had completely changed his course of action and purposely struck your friend.

Jay was active and of course stronger than the average boy you knew, but his frame was still lean and more made for running long and fast rather than taking full frontal blows.

It seemed like hours passed in the seconds it took for him to hit the ground, shooting backwards a good few feet before smacking onto his back against the wet grass.

Before you even gave it a second thought, you were standing. Suddenly the cold and sticky air was nonexistent and you briefly registered the sounds of your friends stampeding behind you, down the bleachers and onto the asphalt.

You were stopped by the fence separating viewers and the field but now that you were closer, you could see firsthand the way Jay took staggered breaths and clutched where his chest would be beneath the gear.

It was a mess of refs and the standby emts, the coaches shouting at each other and pointing fingers close enough to touch the others face. You frantically looked around in an attempt to access the disorienting situation, looking for the guy who had hit Jay.

However, someone else had found him before you did.

The second you locked your eyes on the guys squared frame, he was hitting the ground with a shout and the crowd once again hit the play button on their screams and cheers.

This time their cheers were directed towards the boy who had tackled your school’s opponent, straddling his chest and shaking him aggressively. You watched in horror and shock as he ripped off the guys helmet and threw it carelessly away.

You barely registered a hand gripping your shoulder as you watched the boy on tops arm pull fully back before slamming forward into the others face, over and over again he put his full weight and muscle into assaulting his target.

Your body shook from the force of the hand on your shoulder and you glanced over to see Jungwon, his eyes wide in fear and shock. His gaze was also locked on the scene despite his attempt to get your attention away from it.

Before you could even begin to wonder why he seemed so fearful, a second player from your team was sprinting towards the fight and throwing off his helmet.

“No, no.” His voice was booming and desperate and you watched as Heeseung wrapped his arms under the boys armpits and attempted to rip him off of the other schools player, who had stopped moving at some point.

Heeseung was thrashing his body against the force of the others attempts to throw him off and when he finally managed to toss the boy backwards, you caught sight of who it was.

Niki was panting intensely, entire body shaking as he took a few steps back and forth, almost like a wild animal backed into a corner. His knuckles were bloodied and you weren’t sure if it was his or the other guys blood.

Heeseung was saying something to him that you couldn’t make out, freezing up when Niki’s glare turned towards you and the boys around you. The older boys hands were raised in an attempt to soothe his rage but Niki glared at him, sparing one last look towards Jay on the ground before storming off the field.

——

You’d practically gone numb from the cold by now, your thighs had lost feeling about an hour ago and the shaking of your hands felt natural.

You were sat on a lone bench outside of the schools medical office, only a few stragglers from the game remained and a couple of staff who were cleaning up spilled popcorn and discarded cups.

Jay had been rushed off the field and into the small building just a bit in the distance. It’s main use was for sports injuries apparently, you hadn’t even noticed it before tonight.

Luckily, the boy who had struck Jay wasn’t inside with him. He had been loaded up onto a gurney and rushed somewhere past the field where you presumed, more intense medical help awaited.

The scene was replaying in your mind on a loop and your stomach was tight with nausea at seeing such an intense display of violence.

Not to mention the glare that Niki had sent in your direction, almost like he faulted you for being the reason he had to hurt the boy. You weren’t sure if that was true because you didn’t understand the reasoning yourself.

You didn’t understand why the other player had struck Jay, if some game typical shit talk got out of hand or if they had a history. It only confused you further that Niki had been the one to come to your friends defense, possibly ending up in a lot of trouble.

No one chased after him when he stormed off and you weren’t sure if punishment would come later for him or if this was something both sides wanted to get ahead of.

Heeseung had looked around in a panic, eyes flickering to the stands like he was expecting to see somebody up there who could help, and then landing on where you stood by the fence. The desperation and upset in his eyes made you feel for him but they had quickly hardened and then he was off, similarly to his younger friend.

“You waited?” The sudden voice coming from infront of you caused you to jump in your seat and you trailed your gaze up to see a tired looking Jay standing and looking down at you.

His shoulders were low and you didn’t fail to notice the puffiness around his eye, or the slight shutters he took as he breathed in and out.

“Of course I waited.” You kept your voice calm and cautious, not sure if he was happy to see you or frustrated at the company. “Everybody did, but Sunoo made the others go home so they didn’t overwhelm you.”

He nodded along with you as you talked, an arm going up to push his hair back out of his forehead. It was a wasted effort considering his bangs fell back down on his face. He was staying close to where you sat, only a tilt away from your knees touching his shins.

“Are you okay?” You whispered when he didn’t reply to your rambles, you leaned your upper body forward slightly to try to look him in the eye. He nodded again, looking behind him out onto the field.

“Did you see where he went?” His voice was firm and you quickly understood that his vague question was referring to Niki and not the boy who had rammed into him.

You were standing now, slightly embarrassed by how close it put the two of you, nearly toe to toe. His breath was visible from the cold night air and you were worried if he turned his head back to look at you, your noses would touch. Despite your awkwardness, you reached down to grab his sleeve.

“Heeseung went with him.” You offered, instinctively giving him reassurance regarding the boy.

The unanswered questions you had still weren’t necessary for you to be able to tell that, at some point, Jay had cared deeply about the estranged boys. And clearly the feeling had been mutual.

Niki hadn’t hesitated in throwing his all into protecting Jay, risking everything in a moments notice. Whilst you were scared and slightly judgmental of the exact way he had handled it, you admired his loyalty.

Jay’s head turned back towards you and he looked down at where your red fingers were clutching his sleeve. You took a step back from him, still standing a little closer than you were used to, and he cleared his throat.

Before he could open his mouth to speak, somebody else was beating him to it and causing both of your heads to spin in it’s direction. This time you took a few steps away from Jay, completely giving yourself distance.

Sunghoon was standing slightly near the medical building and watching the two of you with a raised eyebrow. The sight of him after radio silence was intimidating enough and it didn’t help that he was stood with crossed arms and dark eyes. “Interrupting?”

Your eyebrows turned down in confusion before glancing towards your friend and piecing together what he was implying. You glared back at Sunghoon, not faltering when he held your gaze with his own annoyed one.

If you weren’t mistaken, he almost mirrored the expression of betrayal.

He quickly neutralized it however and uncrossed his arms, looking over towards Jay who had his shoulders squared now, awaiting whatever quick remarked was going to come his way.

“Are we going to go and find him, or what?”

—

The car had been quiet for the entirety of the ride so far, you were barely breathing to avoid adding any noise to the delicate air.

When Sunghoon had spoke back at the field you had expected Jay to dismiss him, to question why on earth he’d go with him anywhere. But he was always surprising you, only giving a firm nod and sending you a look that implied he wanted you to come with.

You were wondering if your sole purpose was to sit in the passenger seat of Sunghoon’s car so Jay didn’t have to. It was starting to feel like the worlds worst Uber and your head was hurting from the tension.

Still, it didn’t seem right to speak. As much as you wanted to ask Sunghoon about where he had been or ask Jay if he knew where you were heading right now, you figured you’d get answers shortly regardless.

Eventually you were pulling into a long driveway somewhere outside the city. When Sunghoon put the car into park, still no one spoke. Your body rocked with the car shifting and you leaned forward against your seatbelt to try and gauge your surroundings.

It was nearing 3am now and you were worried the bright lights pulsing into the windows would disturb the house owners, whoever they could be. Your worries were quickly silenced when a face appeared in the window, pulling back the half open curtain to glare outside in the cars direction.

It only surprised you slightly when you realized it was Heeseung, his eyes hardening when he saw Sunghoon’s car but his shoulders relaxed at the familiarity. Once again you questioned the tone of their friendship.

You felt eyes on the side of your head and slowly turned to look at Sunghoon who was watching you with a guarded expression. He raised an eyebrow and for once he seemed to lack his normal mocking look, a genuine question on his face.

Giving him a nod, you unbuckled your seatbelt and only faintly heard Jay do the same in the seats behind you. You waited until both of them were outside, doors shut, before following quickly on their heels.

Heeseung only looked taken back by Jay’s being there for a second and then he offered him a sharp nod and looked away. His gaze landed on you, standing hesitantly in the door way, and his tense glare softened slightly in confusion.

It was beginning to make you feel sick that nobody had spoke, the silence making your skin tingle and your head spin.

“Are you okay?” Your own voice surprised you, not even realizing you were starting to speak when you did, and by the way Sunghoon whipped around to look at you, you weren’t the only one.

The question was directed towards Heeseung, who was watching you intensely. His eyes were shooting down to your shaking hands and you hoped they weren’t still red from the cold. Although Heeseung had been the least physically impacted, you couldn’t shake the desperate look in his eye as he ripped Niki from the body.

“Are you?” You nearly bumped into Jay at the sudden appearance of the formerly mentioned boy and you clutched onto his arm instinctively.

Niki was rounding the corner, peering down at you from the kitchens doorway and you held his gaze for a moment before looking down at his hands and then back to him. He seemed upset at your fearful reaction to his voice and then a wave of understanding passed by and he offered you a small nod.

You felt bad for not answering him verbally but your gaze once again fell to his hands, eyeing the bloodied wrap around his knuckles. They were puffy and swollen and panic passed through you that he might need to go to the hospital.

“It’s not as bad as it looks.” He seemed to read your mind and your eyes snapped back up to his. He was being uncharacteristically neutral but you had to imagine the nights events had drained the fight out of him. “You should see the other guy.”

The silence broke at his poorly timed joke. Heeseung let out a humorless scoff and walked off into the living room, aggressively flopping back against the couch chair. Sunghoon laughed for only a second before shaking his head and sighing.

Jay’s immediately took a step towards the boy and tilted his head, a dangerous anger radiating off him. “You think this is fucking funny Riki?“

The younger boy seemed to deflate for a moment, once again giving you a glimpse of that natural obedience he had shown Sunghoon in the parking lot. He quickly recalled who was speaking to him and his gaze turned into a glare, also taking a step forward.

“They could expel you.” Jay was spitting, close to the boys face. Your eyes shot over to Sunghoon who was watching the situation closely with crossed arms. “What if they charged you with assault?”

“He hit you first.” Niki was shaking his head in anger, seemingly genuinely distraught by Jay’s anger. You wondered if his loyalty made him so blind that he thought he was immune to consequences.

“It was too far.” Sunghoon was speaking now but his tone was far gentler than Jay’s. You started to feel bad for Niki considering the way all three of you were standing on one side and going against him. “You took it too far.”

Niki pushed off the wall he was near and paced a few feet in a circle around the living room area. You followed his figure with tightly locked eyes, not yet being able to predict the outcome of this talk.

“He was on the ground.” He turned back towards the three of you, frantically trying to justify what he did. The disappointment from the older boys seemed to hurt him deeply. “You didn’t even look like you were moving.”

The last sentence was directed towards Jay solely and you watched as his back deflated, locking eyes with the panicked boy infront of him. He took a few steps towards Niki at the same time Sunghoon took a large one back, closer to you.

You looked up at him in confusion to find him already staring down at you, an unreadable expression on his face. Your eyes floated back towards Jay and Niki but you were distracted again when you felt a hand trailing down your arm and eventually locking onto yours. This time you really kept your gaze on Sunghoon.

He started to drag you away from the scene despite your tug for release, it was no use and you couldn’t fight against your feet that started to follow him out of the room and down a hallway. For a moment you were confused where he was heading, watching as he opened the door furtherest away from the living room.

He stood in the doorway, waiting for you to enter the room first and you glared at him as you did, taking in the area. The door closed behind you and you turned your head to make sure he hadn’t locked you in alone.

Sunghoon was standing against the closed door, feet away from you and looking down at you with clouded amusement. Despite the tense and emotional night, he still seemed to find humor in your reactions.

“Why are we in here?” Your tone was low and annoyed, just above a whisper like you were worried about disturbing the moment down the hall.

“If you don’t already know what happened,” He started, titling his head while he looked from your feet back to your eyes. “This isn’t how he’d want you finding out.”

It aggravated you that his reasoning was so simple and so logical, and that he seemingly read your mind again about your knowledge on the situation. Also confusing you further that he’d protect Jay and offer him such privacy.

“Is he safe?” Your voice was shaking slightly and you felt embarrassed to show such vulnerability. You were simply exhausted both mentally from the laps it took to understand the smallest thing and from the late hours this night was bleeding into.

Sunghoon hardened and took a step towards you. You didn’t feel scared of him or his reaction towards you, letting him approach you and place a hand on your shoulder. He turned your body slowly and led you towards the bed in the room, letting you sit down.

“Niki would never hurt Jay.” He said firmly, assuring you as you sat and took a deep inhale. He stayed standing, looking down at you. His serious expression was overtaken by a look of amusement as he started to laugh.

You looked up at him with a deep frown, playing anxiously with your fingers and waiting for him to explain what he found so funny in this serious situation.

“It’s weird seeing you in my room.” He offered and looked behind you like he was accessing the picture. Your eyebrows shot up in confusion.

“You live here?” You weren’t sure why you had figured this was Heeseung’s house just because he seemed comfortable and had answered the door. “I thought this… that Heeseung did.”

“He does.” He explained and your confusion grew further. Why would they both live so far away from campus and considering how hostile all their interactions seemed, why would they be living together.

“Can I be honest?“ He raised an eyebrow at your tone and sat next to you on the bed, keeping a good distance between the two of you. “I thought he didn’t really like you.”

He let out a bark of a laugh which caught you off guard, never hearing such a genuine noise come from the boy.

“Heeseung doesn’t really like anybody.” He offered, shrugging and looking at you with a half smile. You thought back to the conversation you had with Heeseung in the square, the way he seemed filled with childlike curiosity regarding what Jungwon and Sunoo said about him.

“I know it’s not my business,” You started slowly, not quite sure how to word what you wanted to get across to him.

“It’s driving you crazy, isn’t it?” He filled in the blanks for you and you glanced over at him with a half smile, you imagined your eyes were heavy and tired as you nodded.

He looked especially handsome right now, you couldn’t help but note. You were so used to seeing him in passing, normally adorning a cocky grin or a tight demeanor. Yet he looked the best now, here in his own room, casually sitting on his bed with tired eyes.

Neither of you spoke as you studied his features and expression, him doing the same towards you. You were wondering what he was thinking and if he was coming to any sort of conclusions about you when a knock sounded on the door. It opened before Sunghoon had a chance to invite them in.

You watched as Jay’s head peered around the door and your cheeks flushed at the surprised look on his face upon seeing you and Sunghoon sitting near each other on his bed. Standing up swiftly, you played with your fingers in front of you and awkwardly watched your friend.

“I called Sunoo to come and take you home.” He explained his reasoning for coming to fetch you and you furrowed your brows slightly. You felt a weird heaviness settle in your stomach at the thought of leaving him here.

He seemed to sense your apprehension and took a step into the room. “Everything’s fine.” He offered but you weren’t sure if ‘fine’ meant for this specific situation or if they had patched things up in general. You doubted it was the latter considering how deep it seemed to run.

You glanced back at Sunghoon to find him uncharacteristically looking down at his lap, avoiding your gaze or maybe avoiding Jay. You thought about taking a step back towards him but opted instead for muttering a soft goodbye and following Jay out his door.

Jay’s hand fell onto your back as he guided you down the long hallway comfortably, obviously familiar with your current environment. When you passed back into the living you were surprised to see the other two boys still there.

Niki perked up when he saw you, looking like he had something planned to say to you, but he didn’t get a chance when sharp knocks echoed throughout the house.

Jay took a step forward to open the door, and you felt a wave of relief and comfort upon it revealing Sunoo. He looks mildly irritated and his hair was messy like he’d just left his apartment in a hurry but seeing him was enough to calm you down.

“We have an issue.” He sighed and whilst his tone lacked any real seriousness you still felt nervous at the thought of more conflict arising tonight. You quickly pieced together what he was saying however when you heard Jake’s loud yell from outside.

You stretched on your feet to look around Sunoo’s frame and smiled softly when you saw Jungwon and Jake clambering out of the car and quickly making their way over to the house.

They also seemed completely familiar with it, making their way down the path and up to the porch despite the darkness of the night concealing the steps. You glanced behind you into the living room to see Heeseung perking up at the loud voices.

He was still sitting but now his hands were tightly gripped on the arms of the furniture, sitting straight up and rigid. He was forcing down an intense swallow and you looked back at Sunoo and tilted your head.

Your pink hair friend simply sighed before taking a reluctant step into the house, successfully avoiding Jake by only a second before he barreled through the door. He had tripped over the mat that was sat outside the door and Jungwon was standing behind him, watching with an amused expression.

Sunoo, however, didn’t look pleased at all by the situation. If anything you’d think he was being forced at gun point to be inside of the house. You felt guilty at the exhausted look on all of their faces.

“They insisted.” He started to offer a casual explanation and you had no doubt in what he was saying. You briefly noted the sound of Sunghoon’s door closing as he approached the now crowded room.

Jake was pushing past you to smack into Jay, wrapping him in a tight hug and lifting him off the ground for a second before seemingly remembering the events that caused your current situation. “Oh my god, oh my god.”

You stumbled from his push, catching your footing to watch him repeat the familiar lines and check Jay for any sign of discomfort or pain. Jungwon approached from behind now and swiftly smacked the back of Jake’s head for his mistake.

A throat cleared from behind you, directly behind you, and you looked over your shoulder to meet the sight of Sunghoon’s chest. You must’ve stumbled in his direction in your haste away from tornado Jake. He was watching the trio from over your shoulder.

The creaking of the weight changing on the couch caught all of your attentions and seven pairs of eyes turned to look in Niki’s direction as he stood. The air was heavy and silent and you waited to see what he was going to say.

“Dude.” Jake’s voice from behind you was ringing out instead but you kept your eyes on Niki who looked surprised at being addressed so directly. “If I knew you could hit like that I would’ve stopped calling you short like 2 years ago.”

The silence rang out again as the joke landed, you winced slightly, not sure it would be reciprocated well.

However, loud laughter sounded from behind you and now you finally turned around, eyes wide as you watched Jay bend over slightly and squeeze his eyes shut as he laughed at Jake’s words.

You were baffled, wondering what conversation could’ve possibly happened in the few minutes you were gone that could drastically change his mood towards the situation.

Clearly you weren’t the only one judging by the way Heeseung was shooting up off the chair he was sat on and pushing past all of you, swiftly making his way out the front door and into the cold night without a word. You frowned deeply and watched as he went, not quite sure he’d want somebody following him.

A hand was pushing against your back softly and you looked back at Sunghoon for clarification. He was watching you with a soft expression and gave you another nudge towards the direction Heeseung had went, signaling for you to follow the boy.

You looked towards Sunoo who had come to pick you up but upon seeing him in low voiced conversation with Niki, you figured they wouldn’t mind waiting here for a bit.

Sucking in a deep breath, you followed Heeseung out the door.

——

Apparently you didn’t take into account the length of Heeseung’s leg, or his haste to get far away from the situation, because by the time you’d gotten outside he was nowhere to be seen.

Still you had a general direction to follow and the further you walked along the dark foggy street, the clearer his final destination was to you. A park was coming up in the distance and you faintly could make out a figure sitting still on one of the swings.

You weren’t exactly sure how to approach him, but eventually you took a deep breath and decided to just offer him silent company. If he found it in himself to want to talk, you’d be an open ear.

He didn’t say anything when you approached, and still when you sat in the swing next to him and rocked just a bit so you could sway.

You both sat and listened to the sounds of the chain creaking.

“I had a sister.” Eventually he spoke and you slowed you swing to a stop, looking over towards him and watching the side of his face as he talked. “Same age as me. As us, I guess.”

The tense in which he talked about his sister didn’t pass by you and your stomach felt heavy at the countless scenarios that could’ve happened. You took a baited breath and waited for him to continue.

“Growing up I never really liked having her around much I guess.“ His voice was deep and sad but there was a small amused smile on his face. “She was loud and talkative and I was worried my friends would like her better than me or something stupid like that.”

“Jay did I think.” You furrowed your brows as he talked and he spared a quick glance at you before starting to talk again. “Sophomore year he came to me and told me he was inlove with her. He’d said he didn’t know how it happened and he was sorry, but he was and he didn’t know what to do about it.”

It hadn’t dawned on you to ask any of the boys how long they’d known each other and you were slightly taken back by the fact Jay and Heeseung had so much history. Then you were further in your confusion at his second revelation.

“I was pissed, I mean who wouldn’t be right.” His voice was tighter now but he was shrugging to himself, like he was still trying to convince himself he did the right thing. “So I told her what he’d say. I just wanted her opinion on it, you know? Then she tells me she was in love with Sunghoon.”

Your heart fell deep in your stomach and you looked away from Heeseung once his face twisted in a grimace. Things were starting to make sense to you, atleast why Jay and Sunghoon didn’t get along but you felt like it was something deeper than just liking the same girl.

“We went off to college, Sunghoon didn’t go here with us at first. I guess he still couldn’t bring himself to face Jay even though it wasn’t really his fault. We still hung out sometimes, with Niki.”

It suddenly made sense why Sunoo and the other boys didn’t seem as familiar with Sunghoon as everybody else.

Without thinking you reached out a hand towards where Heeseung sat on his swing and watched as his eyes shot down to it and then back up to your face. He offered a sad tired smile but eventually took your hand in his and squeezed it as he continued.

“One night,” He took a deep breath and shook his head. “Sunghoon comes banging on my door, Jay answers it and they both just look at eachother. Hoon is breathing all hard and can’t seem to get a word out and now I’m standing and we’re both trying to calm him down and it was just a mess.”

“He tells me….. well he says.. that he’d just seen my sister and she had told him that she was still inlove with him and had practically begged him to accept her after all these years.” He was pushing the story out now and you used your free hand to wipe your wet cheeks.

“And he didn’t.” He says it softly and drops his shoulders. You aren’t quite sure what the meaning of his words are but he delivers them like it’s the answer to all your questions. “And she couldn’t handle that I guess.”

You both fell silent for a few minutes and you squeezed his hand tightly so he would look in your direction. When you locked eyes with him you felt sick at the despair and guilt he seemed to hold.

“Heeseung.” You started and he squeezed his eyes shut tight like you’d hurt him. “That wasn’t your fault.”

He shook his head again and scoffed, taking his hand from yours and looking to his left out into the dark.

“Wasn’t it? Maybe if I let her hang out more, or given Jay the chance to confess without being so angry and protective, she could’ve fallen for him too.”

“She loved Sunghoon.” You spoke softly, not quite sure you were allowed to give your opinion on such a delicate subject.

He looked back at you and held your gaze. Eventually he gave you one single nod and chewed on his lip, eyes heavy and wet.

When he stood from his swing and pulled you up into a hug, you final took a deep breath and wrapped tightly around him. Neither of you spoke once you broke apart and started the walk back to the house but your mind was racing.

It was suddenly making sense to you for the most part. Why Sunghoon and Jay both seemed torn and betrayed at you being with either, the look Niki had given you almost like you’d brought up past emotions, even the fact all boys seemed shocked at your appearance in the friend group . It still confused you why Heeseung had chosen Sunghoon over Jay but you figured you could ask him at another time.

You looked over at Heeseung when you rounded the street back towards his house and you were remembering his unsupported anger towards you when you first met.

Maybe you had reminded him of his sister, down to the similarities of age and your friend circle. You no longer felt angry at him for the way he scared you or tried to intimidate you.

——

Days were passing by quickly after that long cold night and you were focusing back in on your studies and daily life. It was getting colder and colder each day and you felt the world around you preparing to slow down for the winter.

You’d still been seeing the boys on occasion, even meeting in new pairs and groups with familiar faces in different settings. It was interesting to watch things settle back into an old rhythm you hadn’t been around to witness the first time.

Niki and Jungwon arguing over video games and who’s turn is when, Heeseung sitting at the counter while Sunoo completes orders and sometimes Jay would be with him too although they’d keep one seat empty between them.

It was an early morning now and you were sat watching one of the boys final practices before the football season ended. You weren’t sure when it was added to your routine or when you started to find comfort in it but watching them play off of each other was something you enjoyed a lot lately.

Today you were accompanied by Jake who was uncharacteristically silent as he watched them throw the ball back and forth.

You were studying the side of his face for a bit, watching the way he chewed on his lip and fidgeted slightly in his seat. He seemed to be locked in thought and far away.

He must’ve felt your gaze on him because he nervously glanced at you and then away again, scratching his neck when you didn’t look away at first. “Sorry.” He murmured and you cocked your head.

“I’m just thinking about how weird it is we all are friends again.” He shrugged and you sighed softly.

“A good weird though, right?” He nodded in confirmation at your words but he still looked a bit saddened. You figured he must be worried it wouldn’t last long, another problem arising and hurting everybody for the second time.

You scooted closer to him on the bleachers and wrapped your arms around one of his, hugging it towards you and sitting flush against his side. “Don’t think about it too much. It’s good right now and that’s what matters.”

He glanced down at you glued to his side and offered a half smile, not quite reaching his eyes like it normally did. But you were slightly relieved to see him nod in understanding and pat your head with his free hand.

You both sat like that for a while, watching the practice continue on, until another person was stepping onto the bleachers and glancing up at you and Jake, clearly looking for you.

Peering down at Sunghoon you took a deep breath and you felt Jake laugh slightly against you at your obvious nerves. He squeezed your arm and gave you a slight nudge.

Reluctantly you stood from your spot and started to walk down the metal steps, meeting Sunghoon at the bottom of the stands and following him when he turned on his heel and headed towards the exit gate.

“I haven’t seen you much.” You were speaking to the back of his head, and it was true. You hadn’t seen him practically at all since everything happened, going back to only interacting in passings full of heavy stares and glances.

“I needed to figure some things out.” He turned to look at you and you studied his red nose and shifty eyes.

“Did you?”

He shrugged and looked at his foot that was twisting anxiously into the cement, his fidgeting was causing you to shift in your own place.

“Do you think I’m a monster.” He eventually asked with a curl of his lip and furrowed eyebrows, almost like he was afraid of your answer. Your features softened as you looked at him and shook your head. “You should.”

“Why would you say something like that?” You questioned and took a step towards him, a hand coming to rest on his arm. “It wasn’t your fault.”

He was looking down at you with a pained expression, glancing at your hand on him for just a moment before going back to your eyes. You hoped they showed how genuinely you meant what you were saying to him.

“Don’t disappear again.” You added earnestly, squeezing his arm to further prove your desperation. “I was just starting to not find you annoying.”

Thankfully your joke made him laugh, although it was a small chuckle you felt better at the slight smile on his face reappearing. Taking a deep breath, you decided to stomach your nerves and move towards him.

You pulled him into a tight hug, wrapping your arms around his middle and stuffing your face into his chest. It was silent for a few seconds as he froze up, but then you felt yourself similarly embraced by him.

“Is this a bad time to ask you to go to the final game with me.”

——

The final game had gone completely different than the previous ones and you felt like things were finally starting to settle down, both in real life and in your thoughts.

As you all sat decked out in school colors and merchandise, rocking into eachother and singing the team anthem and nearly filling up a whole row of bleachers with your friends, you could see your mom one last time. She was giving you a big thumbs up and those soft teary eyes she’d get whenever you made her proud.

The same eyes you had as you all ran down to the field upon a victory goal, pushing past the gates and tackling Jay, Niki and Heeseung in hugs and back pats that sent them flying in multiple directions with a smile on their flushed faces.

A smile that stayed on everyone’s face through Christmas, a day you all spent crammed in Sunoo’s living room as you watched Niki open gifts from the rest of you.

When you had heard that his family was in Japan and that’s why he was so close to the older boys, you and the others immediately called home and explained why you needed to stay behind for the holidays.

And the smiles stayed even when Sunghoon found you crying on New Years, outside on the fire escape with red cheeks from the cold and a sniffly nose.

“What happened?” He rushed out as he swung his leg through the open window and joined you outside on the icy metal. “You disappeared.”

The more time you spent with your friends, the more you saw the boy infront of you as far more than that. You’d gone out dozens of times, just the two of you, but it hadn’t advanced further than soft glances and touching hands on accident.

“I was so worried for the holidays.” You sobbed out, embarrassment escaping you due to the few drinks you’d had at the New Years gathering. Vaguely you could hear Jake announcing the minutes left. “I wasn’t sure what to do after my mom passed.”

Sunghoon watched you with a gentle gaze but didn’t say anything. You hadn’t told them about your family much, always changing the subject or giving vague answers. Truthfully you had been dreading the cold air, knowing eventually the day would come where you wouldn’t get to fly home for Christmas.

You constantly were paying extra attention to the weather, feeling sadder every time your nose started to run or you needed to put on an extra layer.

Sunghoon crouched down next to you, falling back onto his butt and hissing at the feeling of the wet and cold steps. Still he pulled you closer to his side and wrapped an arm around your shoulders.

“I know we aren’t her.” He started and you looked at him, comforted by how close your faces were. “But you don’t need to go anywhere to be with family anymore.”

You didn’t need to ask him to clarify, knowing exactly what he meant when the cheers of the countdown started from inside. You glanced back through the window to see all your friends huddled together and starting to count.

Jungwon was looking around the room, eyebrows furrowed in confusion and worry and you realized he must be looking for you, not wanting you to miss the ball drop.

Sunghoon squeezed your shoulders and helped pull you up from the ground, steadying you as you stood and guiding you back inside through the window.

He kept close to you as you approached your friends and you smiled despite your grief and teary eyes when your friends cheered at the sight of you, swiftly pulling you into the huddle and jumping slightly together.

It was messy and loud, knees knocking and multiple near accidents but you laughed freely as you all hit one, a chorus of happy New Years and well wishes following.

You registered Sunghoon standing behind you, pushed flush against your back in his attempt to join the huddle and you spun around in your spot so you were back to facing him. “Hi.”

“Hi.” He laughed as he spoke at your sudden greeting, smiling down at you with fondness. “Happy new year.”

You nodded at him in agreement, watching his face for a moment. He raised an eyebrow as you studied his features and leaned towards you a bit almost instinctively.

“Yeah.. it will be.” Before he could ask you what you meant — and before you could lose the small amount of courage the look in his eyes gave you, you pulled him down to you and into a kiss. Sunghoon hesitates for a moment before kissing you back, and you smile against his lips as you feel his arms slowly make their way around your waist.

Pulling away after a couple moments, Sunghoon looks down at you, the fondness in his eyes replaced with a look of love. Hearing the whoops and hollers from the boys around you, your courage crumbles as you bury your face in his chest.

Laughter erupts through the group as Jake mutters “It's about time...” Pulling away slightly from your embrace with Sunghoon, you look at your friend group to see them all looking at you both with bright smiles, and you laugh as Jake playfully rolls his eyes.

"You're just jealous since you’re still single, Sim." Jay nudges Jake with his shoulder as more laughter erupts through the group. Sunghoon rests his head against yours, his arms still loosely wrapped around you as you watch the antics return, and you swear you can feel your mom pat you on the shoulder, her voice ringing out in your head with an “I’m so proud of you.”

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