#god... i AM a yapper

[sunjestic]

director's commentary for the Kintsugi comic i posted last week. i put a lot of thought into it, and i really wanted to talk about it.... i am a yapper

i am once again begging y'all to read this fic-

[starburstminibot]

Hey I loved your explanation of breakdowns development with bumblebee! I was wondering what bumblebee was thinking at the same time though? Like while he was carrying??

I love this AU though!! It’s the only thing I’ve been thinking about! 😩😩💗

It wasn’t easy for Bee either lemme tell you…

Bumblebee has the capabilities of seeing good in everyone… and he is very aware of how vulnerable it can make him. He’s been manipulated before, he’s been taken advantage of due to his child-like optimism. He’s been… hardened to a degree because of it. He’s not a young naive scout anymore. He still likes to see the good, but he’s much more cautious of letting that blind him to the reality.

Except everything goes out the window when it comes to Breakdown.

Bumblebee doesn’t know why. Maybe it’s because they were friends before the war, maybe it’s because despite everything Breakdown’s never really done anything to hurt him (at least intentionally)

Bumblebee is more aware than anyone how vulnerable he leaves himself by trusting Breakdown so wholeheartedly.

He knows how quickly Breakdown could give him a false tip and lure him right into a trap. And yet Bee would still take his words and trust them like the gospel.

Maybe it’s because he doesn’t value his life quite as much as he should. He doesn’t want to die… but he’s been in the trenches of a war far longer than he ever experienced living at peace (if that’s what you would call the civil unrest that was slowly tipping into war by the time he came online) he’s a bit desensitized to the extinguishing of a spark.

He knows the dangers of getting too close to anyone when you could lose them at any moment. Of course, he’s always been a friendly bot. Most Autobots favor him kindly and he always enjoys other’s company. But he doesn’t stick around long enough to actually get close. He’s a scout. Traveling across Cybertron, sneaking past enemy lines. He’s alone more than not. Perhaps the only true companion he has was the bot always checking in on him at the end of the mission, the one giving him the next orders, and seeking his unlikely advice. It was easier to get close to Optimus… he was less likely to get blown up in a random firefight and never come back.

Which only made his attraction to Breakdown more confusing. Breakdown was everything that Bumblebee tried to avoid: Reckless, foolish, thrill-seeking. Breakdown threw himself into fights he wasn’t likely to win for fun. Breakdown didn’t value his life quite as much as he should either.

They both were willing to gamble everything because neither of them had anything to lose. And that just made whatever they had that much more exciting

They didn’t see each other often. Years would pass before they could catch a glimpse of the other. It didn’t matter how long it had been… how many friends the other had lost… it was like their unspoken connection was the only true consistency in their lives. Sometimes Breakdown would give Bee information. Other times they would just play cards or race. Sometimes they wouldn’t have a chance to talk at all, being in the heat of battle surrounded by other bots.

They got pretty good at pulling punches and staging fights.

And then the war “ended” and Breakdown was nowhere to be found. Bumblebee would be lying if he said he wasn’t disappointed. He should have known better… of course Breakdown would have run, all the Decepticons did. And Breakdown was still a decepticon.

He’s pretty confident Optimus knows about their friendship at this point… or at least has his suspicions. But Optimus had also pardoned the ex-leader of the Decepticons so Bumblebee doesn’t think he has much room to judge.

Being sent undercover for over a decade wasn’t the post-war future Bumblebee had planned for himself. He hadn’t envisioned it would take place on an alien organic planet either. He could still remember a time when he dreamed of retirement and maybe he’d take up a “normal” job like the ones Ironhide used to talk about. He always wondered if he’d be good at something more domestic… if maybe he would have an apartment of his own to return to each night instead of recharging at whatever outpost was closest after days without rest.

Now he views those as delusional fantasies. He’s not really sure who he is outside of his title of Autobot spy. He doesn’t think he can be anything besides a soldier. (A hero… according to some people)

He wasn’t sure if it was boredom that triggered his search for Breakdown or if maybe he was just looking for some kind of company (he was used to solitude but it had just been… so long) but somehow he ended up at nearly every race he caught wind of. It wasn’t desperation, certainly not… he just… had a lot of free time is all.

He got close a couple of times. Breakdown was changing his alt mode regularly, Bee was sure of it. But still every so often he’d catch a streak of blue and white. Breakdown had always been faster than him…

Bee considered himself great at adapting to any environment or situation that he would land himself in, but nothing could have prepared him for his latest assignment… Sparklingsitting…

Why Optimus had pulled him out of 15 years of hiding for something so… mundane? Bee could only begin to question. He was convinced it was a waste of time. Bee didn’t know the first thing about younglings, there hadn’t been any since… well… him. And that was a very long time ago.

But after a while he hated to admit he found them… endearing. It was almost nice… it felt like what he used to imagine a peaceful life would be like when he was still naive enough to think true peace was achievable.

And yet… something was still missing.

Bee assumed it was the thrill of the missions he longed for. Considering Optimus was dead-set on sidelining him… Bee decided to resume one of his personal missions…

And thats when he finally reunited with the only bot he could ever consider his best friend. They had been apart for longer periods before… but somehow this felt different. This could be a new start. The war was over.

And then he lost Breakdown again.

To the same humans to claimed to be their allies no less.

He didn’t care how it must’ve looked when he demanded Optimus give him a status report on Breakdown’s condition when he was brought in.

Bee only got a lecture on how he was cutting it too close by getting involved with a race he knew G.H.O.S.T. was planning to bust.

So no, he didn’t really care what Optimus would think when he broke Breakdown out of prison. And he was only slightly hurt when Breakdown drove off ignoring his pleas of assistance. It wasn’t Breakdown’s fight… he had no right to be upset.

Of course Breakdown came through in the end… he always has.

And so what if they started meeting up periodically to race and talk and forget about everything else for s little while. Even if the times Bee had fallen into recharge in his arms and woken up alone hurt more than he’d like to admit.

Breakdown was quick to remind him, they were still on opposite sided. They could still betray each other in a moments notice… they both still had nothing to lose.

Except… that wasn’t quite true anymore.

Bee was carrying.

At first he didn’t do anything about it. Didn’t tell anyone. Didn’t even act like anything was different. A reaction he would later clarify was shock.

Then came the avoidance. The ticking time bomb until he had to do something about it was like a constant countdown in his head. He started seeking distractions. Lessons with the Terrans. Missions with Arcee. Drives with Breakdown. Anything to avoid thinking about the decisions he would need to make in the future. The very rapidly approaching future.

Breakdown was the first to know.

Looking back, Bee wished he had been able to break the news a little differently. He hadn’t intended to tell him that night at all… he wasn’t sure if he was ever planning on telling him period.

The reality of a sparkling was beginning to hit and for the first time in his life… Bumblebee couldn’t put himself at risk anymore.

And Breakdown was a risk.

It was supposed to be their last time… a chance to say goodbye, even if Breakdown didn’t know it. Instead in a moment of emotion, Bee accidentally let it slip.

He wasn’t expecting Breakdown to choose the path of caution too. To desperately pledge to stay by his side. To stop taking risks… to stop running… to finally face this emotion they’ve been dancing around for centuries

Bee almost felt guilty for assuming so negatively of the one bot he has ever loved, but then again Breakdown has never really done much to prove his loyalty besides never actually betraying him.

This was different though. This was their real new start. The desperation in Breakdown’s eyes, like he’d never seen before, was enough to prove it.

And he trusted Breakdown… because now they both had something to lose.

The hard part was convincing Optimus to do the same…

Bee is lucky he was always Prime’s favorite. Pretty sure any other bot could be charged with fraternizing with the enemy. And of course… the news didn’t go over very smoothly… Bee wasn’t expecting it to…

He’s grateful Breakdown survived to the end of the conversation, though there were a handful of blasters involved in the process.

But after the lectures and the disappointment and the numerous encounters of bots trying to convince Bumblebee to abandon whatever bond he had with Breakdown and allow the Autobots to assist in the Sparkling’s upbringing… Bee noticed for the first time just how hard BD was trying.

Breakdown never cared about what anyone thought of him. He never did things for the approval of others… so Bee knew it was his own decision when BD formerly defected from the Decepticons and took on the autobot mantel.

He’d never seen him more dedicated to anything before… and that’s when Bee knew. They were going to be okay.

He had only ever been a soldier before… he wasn’t sure if he was really cut out for this whole Carrier thing. Breakdown joked that the Terrans had been the trial run, and he had all the training he needed.

They both joked to avoid the spark numbing fear.

They had never experienced it before… not like this… the fear of losing.

Bee wasn’t sure when Breakdown became so… domestic. Sure, he still teased and flirted and ran his mouth. He still made bets he couldn’t win. But he also brought Bee his energon every morning, mixed exactly the way he liked it. And everytime Bee fell into recharge, he’d still be by his side when his optics opened again.

Bumblebee couldn’t help but be angry a little…

Why was he only now receiving this treatment? They’d known how they felt about each other for how long? How long had Bee tried to convince him to stay by his side?

But Breakdown didn’t need Bee’s anger to feel guilty. He barely felt deserving of the chances he’d been given long before this one.

And Bumblebee couldn’t bring himself to act on his anger… not when Breakdown was trying so hard for him.

For them.

Perhaps Bee’s dreams of peace weren’t so far off after all.

[god-syndicate-if]

Sigourney Drabbles

[Wrote a bit on the car trip here. I also have one in the bank for Harper. I’ll end up posting drabbles for the other characters who haven’t got a mini game, enjoy the unedited mess. ❤️]

Shortness of breath. Increased heart rate. Sweating. Chills.

Symptoms too irregular to diagnose as any one ailment, too frequent to ignore. Unfortunately the pattern suggests that the present symptoms only happen in the vicinity of…

The obvious cure would be to separate from the source, stop talking to it, stop thinking about it. She wouldn’t give this advice to her patients, of course. But she’s a surgeon, not a therapist, and as a surgeon cutting things out of people is her specialty. A scalpel for skin, scissors for muscles, a saw for bone. Nothing so clean for this though. It would be so easy to cut out… the source of these feelings. But it would be messy. Evidence suggests increased time away from the source only seems to cause a variety of new symptoms. Melancholy. Irritability. Chest pains. Stomach aches.

If a cure will only give worse symptoms, then Sigourney fails to see that as an option.

The cause of her symptoms lies beside her. She wasn’t an insomniac but she felt like one tonight. Grand. Difficulty sleeping added to the symptoms you cause. Surely there’s a logical explanation for all of this. She’s no hypochondriac but watching you sleep felt like an infection was taking hold of her.

The warmth of your body. Your fluttering, dreaming eyes. Your parted lips.

You probably didn’t feel the ways she did. You slept soundly whilst she could not. You were cool whilst she was not. You were divine.

Could divinity feel as humans do? Would it not make sense if they felt more than humans? Less? It’s a question she asked herself for years, a question she forgot about until you. Surely you feel less about her than she feels about you. You’re a god. She’s mortal. Gods could not… like mortals. Not the same as she… likes you. She wants you to feel the same way as she did. Even now she wishes to kneel at your altar and pray. A suitable desire to have about a god she supposes. But her desires only spiral as the thought persists. She doesn’t have an altar yet she wants to see you kneeling at one for her, head raised, fingers pressed against her thighs, tongue-

Was this blasphemy? She was raised too catholic to have an unbiased view of religion. Lingering fears poison most thoughts she has about your very nature. The nature she’s studied very intimately. But humans had relations with gods in your day. Wanting to fuck in a temple, on an altar, it’s only natural. Anyone in her position would feel the same.

She needs to focus. This wasn’t about lust. It wasn’t about worship either. Whatever was causing these feelings was clearly an illness, something she was used to dealing with. That’s all this was. Just because it’s name eluded her didn’t mean it wasn’t curable. If she just found the right disease maybe she’d be able to get rid of the symptoms.

Perhaps she should consult a colleague. Right. That’s what she’ll do. She needs a gameplan. Something to get rid of this. Something to make her normal again. Doctor Cassidy was an asshole but he’d at least take it seriously. She couldn’t trust him to keep a secret though. Maybe not him. Doctor Rahal was a bit too flirty for her to typically go to him. But he’d keep a secret for her.

Maybe none of her colleagues were right for this. She’d schedule an appointment with someone in midstate. No. Upstate. Far away, with good reviews. Someone who will tell it to her straight and someone who wouldn’t start blabbing to the first group of vaguely bored nurses they see. Or at least if they do talk it wouldn’t make it to the hospital.

“You’re spiraling again.” Somehow your voice makes things worse and better. It’s infuriating. Soothing and scaring her. Another reason why gods frustrate her. No mortal has done this to her, it's clearly some weird power you must have.

She turns and sees you, features soft and lazy from sleep. She shouldn’t look at you but she does, the little hum of energy inside of her exploding as you meet her eyes. “I’m not.” Her voice is firm, almost clipped, but you’re not deterred.

“You are. I can practically feel it.” Annoying. “You’re like a ball of static, Sig.” The way you drawl out her name makes her want to kiss you. Or bite you. Probably both.

“It’s winter. The air’s dry and we’re under a wool blanket. Of course I’m going to be staticky.” She says dismissively, words coming out quick and chaotic. Though she knows she’s wrong to do so. You can’t dismiss a god but you can turn your back on one. So she does, literally it seems. Turning to face away from you.

Infuriatingly you take this as an invitation, moving up behind her, nuzzling your face into her hair and wrapping your arms around her waist. “Mh.” You moan quietly behind her. “Tell me about it.” You whisper.

Ha! Like that would get her talking about her feelings. “I’m anxious.” Fuck. Where did that come from? She thinks quickly and continues. “About a patient.” It’s not a lie, there are only a few laws saying you can’t be your own patient, she can ignore those for this.

You run a hand over her stomach, pulling her closer. She can feel your breath hot on her back, it makes something in the pit of her stomach turn. “What’s happened?” You ask, voice still thick with sleep.

She shakes her head a bit. “She’s just sick. With something strange. She’s been dating this person and every time she’s near them she feels ill. Feverish symptoms, increased heart rate, sweating. And I don’t know what it could be.”

“Mh.” You moan quietly again. “Life threatening?”

She gently shakes her head. “I don’t think so.” Though it felt like it all too often.

“Sounds like love.” You whisper.

Her back tightens, going rigid under the words. If you hadn’t been holding her she would have run. “This is serious.” She says.

You laugh in that annoyingly fantastic laugh. “Sorry. Then maybe it’s allergies?”

“No.” She says. You don’t have any pets, after all. That wouldn’t make any sense.

“You should rest.” Your voice is a whisper, you press your lips to the back of her neck and the heat you bring makes her sink. “You’ll have a clear mind in the morning.”

She won’t. Not with you.

[napping-sapphic]

My legs have many important uses such as wrapping around you whenever you get close enough and trapping you so i can ramble about all my interests

[swordmaid]

a thousand quips DID come to mind.

[lolomustdie]

ok pop off Ms yapperoni

[angelsdean]

don't know how people multi-fandom. dipped my toe into another one and immediately backed out bc everyone there was insufferable.

[puppys-preytime]

Getting high and instantly plagued with thoughts of him noticing my state and asking me if I want to be tickled to “get those giggles out”

[speakofthedebbie]

*looks back* woo i was really going through it two posts ago huh? anyway i almost lost my ao3 account on the first day of its creation :)) (story in tags)

[hauntingblue]

chopper has become catholic

[racetrackmybeloved]

i need to chill tf out about this damn musical, i had an idea for a post that could be achieved in like. two screenshots and four sentences. three hours later i have a 1707 word draft, including not one, not two, but TWENTY FIVE SCREENSHOTS (not all of them being of the musical lmao). i dont even know how that happened

is that something youd even wanna see HAHA or should i break it up into chunks so that people actually read it? idk about breaking it up tho bc theyre all kinda related to the central point?? and id have to reorganise everything and idk if i have the energy for that

[coraline-piange]

17 & 20 (intimacy in general not just kiss) for our beloved morning after sequel <333

17. what is something you recently felt proud of in your writing?

uhm. mostly just that i actually managed to write 66k in a month? i've never written so much before!!! and i think that the consistency actually helped me a lot with my writing in general. just — i spend sm less time just staring at a blank page, instead i've gotten kind of used to just starting to write and see if it works. and if it doesn't? i'll have a magical shower and think of a way to make it work (and you'd know all about that wouldn't you dean? wink wink).

that being said, on a more specific note: figuring out character voices!! i feel like i've made such a big leap specifically with my dbda fics, where in my fics before i never really considered them as much. i think because edwin and charles have such a distinct way of talking that i was just determined to get it right. and with a dual pov fic (like i would worship him instead of you) it's even more important imo!

20. Share your favorite kiss scene from [insert fic]. If there's no kiss scene, share your favorite moment of intimacy (romantic or platonic)

again, how am i meant to choose??

alright okay so, i think i'm. going with an answer that you probably do not expect:

i think one of my favourite moments of intimacy is in hymn v when edwin, charles, crystal and niko are celebrating new year's eve/the beginning of edwin's birthday. i think it's just this moment full of love for everyone in this friend group and i really liked how i could just. turn it into a love letter to each of them (from edwin) and how they were there for him in return.

now, since this is a payneland fic, i'm also going to give you a payneland answer:

the thing is. this fic is basically just one long intimate scene between the two, with a couple of interruptions. and picking a favourite is like. impossible. however! because that just floated to the top of my mind: i still really love the scene in prayer v after edwin's panic attack because the way that charles takes care of him is just. god i love charles sm and he's so perfect and wonderful and i think i managed to portray the absolute devotion and love and care in that very intense moment quite well :)

as for kisses.... they kiss all the fucking time, i wouldn't know which one to pick. tho maybe my favourites are always forehead kisses hehe.

☾・☀︎・☽

ask me more questions from this ask game

[chiikawahypemomentsandaura]

I need to start posting more selfies and stuff so I can be comfortable posting my jinmay cosplay for Halloween next month.😭😭😭 UMM fit today!!!! It’s loosely inspired off of srmthfg if you can tell (the green skeletons and rainbow colors because of the monkeys and the low pigtails bc of jinmay and stuff) and I just wanted to dress up really colorful today since I usually dress in scemo and goth fashion!!! Or whatever I want really :3

[sadcabbages]

Sorry I can't sleep I'm up thinking about how Bill wants that old man

[lolomustdie]

10000 posts is crazy y'all lmao absolutely wild gng 😂😂

*suspenseful, serious music*

Alright now "tumbler" ... Listen here BUDDY... were the FUCK is my god of yapping award huh?

U fucking faggot site???

Ik I mistook that 25000 liked posts notif for how many posts I have but this is legit now ok fuckers??

U fucking weeaboo shits???

GIVE ME MY FUCKING TROPHY OR I'LL SUCK UR FUCKING BLOOD ‼️‼️😾😾😾😾

GIVE ME MY FUCKING AWARD OR I'LL CANNIBALIZE YOU‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️😾😾😾😾😾😾😾😾😾🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫

@staff the closest I can get to a Tumblr employee so it's worth a shot (they dgaf)

[fandomsoda]

Y’know what’d make for a good utmv video essay topic that isn’t just a rehashing of the same old “here’s the history and CRAZY fandom incidents of the undertale AU community!” and “I’m an outsider that researched undertale AU’s for a week and here are my thoughts” videos we’ve all seen at least twice?

The sheer amount of bizarre negativity that surrounds Underswap.

Like. Has anyone else realized just how much one of the most recognizable and popular AU’s in history is actively maligned and debated by the modern-day fandom?

The annoying asf fanonswap vs canonswap debates, the way that TS!Underswap and Inverted Fate fans actively talk shit about, belittle, and try to position these AU’s as the modern “replacements” for Underswap, the way that people still lose their shit at people for calling Swap!Sans “Blueberry” and equate it with “bad fanon” when the infantilization of Blue as a character has been a non-issue for several years now, etc, etc.

Like- good lord, does anyone else notice and get exhausted by just how goddamn negative people are about Underswap???

It is genuinely so infuriating that US, an AU that is somewhat designed to be simple, fun, and silly is either treated as inferior or as something that needs to be replaced with a more serious narrative or people will pretend that fanon has somehow strayed from this mystical lost “canon” version of itself that is somehow superior or more refined when it barely existed in the goddamn first place.

Underswap is fun and silly. People these days can’t respect fun and silly.

It’s to the point where hearing people act like “Swap” and “Blue” are two separate characters (when it’s just two interpretations of the same character) genuinely just pisses me off. Because I do not like having to justify myself for having fun and being silly!!!

It’d be nice to see a video talking about this, and not another 45 minute smear campaign on the UTMV fandom.