#goddamn gremlin

[civilhavoc]

i get to hang out with my sister today :3

[splickedylit]

Local cat deeply and desperately wronged by heartless owner who moved empty frappe cup (lickable)(delicious) out of little bedroom garbage can (tippable) into big kitchen garbage can (not tippable). Quoted in an exclusive three AM interview as saying "rustle rustle sniff sniff rrrRRROOWWW!!!! ROOWW!!! >8("

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

You ever think about how in spite of knowing their exact locations, the game never gives any indication that templar Carver has reported his mage sibling, Merril (a blood mage) or Anders (an abomination) to his superiors?

I do think about that a lot, even though I tend to ignore the Templar Carver route because I know Warden Carver to be true in my heart and soul... but I totally get the appeal of Templar Carver within DA2's narrative, y'know?

It's so fascinating, really. I've never played a run with Templar Carver, I just can't bring myself to do it, so I know I'm missing out on smaller details of it. From what I do know, this drives me crazy in the best way possible.

Deciding whether to bring him or not to the Deep Roads is such an important choice, not only because it affects his fate, but how it affects his relationship to Hawke. He tells you that he wants to go, he makes it very clear that it's important to him that he goes, too... and Hawke can just leave him behind and it hurts him. I don't think that registers enough with some people just because of how Carver is, like it doesn't matter what Hawke's motivations are [staying behind for his safety, not wanting to bring him, thinking someone should stay with Leandra, etc] it still hurts him because it tells him that Hawke doesn't need him, and Carver wants to be needed.

And yes, there are other contributing factors to why he joins the templars, but it doesn't matter what your relationship is to him, it doesn't change the fact that he doesn't turn Hawke or his companions in.

Sure, the meta reason is it's a video game and you're playing the main character. You're never in any actual danger of being captured by templars, and you're not going to lose your companions to them that easy.

But if we look at it through the narrative and Carver's character, that's when it gets interesting. You can max out his rivalry and be an utter asshole to him [there's a point where you can call him a brat and mock him for being stuck in your shadow, like Hawke can be real cruel about it] but it doesn't matter, you're still his sibling. He even makes a remark about how you might not know what that means [referring to leaving him behind] but he does. He refuses to kill Hawke in the end when Meredith makes the order, too.

Which can I just point out that Hawke has the option to let Bethany die in the end if she's with the circle and they side with the templars? Just saying, Carver NEVER does that no matter what, but Hawke has the option to betray Bethany like that and it's fucked and interesting and it makes me want to eat my chair-

As for Merrill and Anders, I think he knows that if he turns either of them in, then the chances of Hawke being brought in as well skyrocket. They're all friends, they're in the same group... bring one in, and you'll probably get the other two.

I also think Carver just genuinely likes Merrill. Yes, I'm a Carver/Merrill shipper, so I have a bias, but even if you remove anything romantic from their dynamic I believe that's true. Of all the companions, Merrill is the only one who doesn't make fun of him, or find him annoying, in party banters. He never snaps back at her, like he's never defensive with her, he's just a little awkward and nice.

Like, HE'S SO NICE TO HER! He tries to find common ground with her! She asks him about "swording" and he's taken aback by her saying he's good at it, but you KNOW that if someone like Anders asked him the same question, he's be all, "shut up, you're stupid, stop talking to me >:["

Think back to that banter Carver can have with Aveline post-act 1 where they're talking about how the guard wasn't the right place for him [hard disagree with you there, Aveline] and Carver says he was a bit of a tit, wasn't he.... and every companion will agree except Merrill. She doesn't say anything, whereas other companions like Anders will be like "ugh maker YES" and if you have a purple Hawke, they'll go on to other ways Carver was a tit like?? I think Carver and Merrill got along and he doesn't want to turn her in because she was nice to him! And she's a blood mage! He knows what will happen to her if the templars get ahold of her! He doesn't want to see her made tranquil or killed!

At that point, he's witnessed what bad blood mages can do, assuming you've brought him along for those quests, but even so. He knows Merrill isn't like that and he likes her, so of course he's not going to turn her in despite that being his literal duty.

Then there's Anders who Carver doesn't like. If you're in a romance with him, Carver will tell him that's why he doesn't turn him in but c'mon Carver, you know that's not the only reason. My theory is Carver may not like Anders and he knows the man's got a spirit of justice inside of him... but Anders also runs a free clinic. If he's ever taken in by templars, then so many people [including a LOT of Fereldan refugees] will be without free health care and will suffer for it. I think in Carver's eyes, Anders might be irritating but he doesn't more good than harm. Carver knows first hand how shitty refugees and poorer people are treated in Kirkwall. Anders' clinic is the one place they can go for help and actually get it, and he's not going to be the one to take that away because the templars say "magic bad."

So yeah, I'm not as informed about the Templar Carver route, but I do think about how if I did do that route, he wouldn't betray Hawke or their companions no matter what and what that says about him.

[exilethegame]

I 100% misread the character descriptions and spent an entire playthrough thinking Nikke was 5'4 like woah we stan a short king <3

I'm gonna be so real w/ you... I would be genuinely terrified of Nikke and what he could achieve if he was that short.

[idliketochill]

We made key lime pie and I just had to subject her to it

[the-game-spirit]

am I the only one who gets squicked out when people call Danielle Danny's daughter??? 🥲

its just.

that is a 14 year old child you're assigning parenthood to???

like I actually do think canon did one thing right: having Danny and Ellie's relationship be functionally "uuuuuuhhhh????? okay you can do your thing and. I will do mine. waaaaaay over there. see'ya cuz!" and then they both awkwardly dip out FAST

not because they don't have affection for each other! because they do! but one of them is a 14 year old kid, neck deep in hiding everything about himself from everyone except all of 3 people (also kids), who was just unwillingly cloned by his creep arch enemy-- and the other is a (???) 12 year old (??ig??) who may have only been around for a few months at best but is still functionally a 12 year old, FIERCELY independent, and just recently tried to murder the person she was cloned from-- then betrayed her dad-- then abruptly had nothing to her name, which also isn't even really hers--

I think they want to be friends-- family, even! but I also think they have ALOT of complicated Feelings about it. none of which touches on a "father-daughter dynamic"

[violet-moonstone]

putting so many of my headcanons into my fic right now. I few months ago I made a post about how Hiccup would react if Valka said Dagur with long hair looked like Stoick (and this does happen in the fic). This is the aftermath when Dagur and Hiccup are alone:

“So,” he started.

Uh oh, Hiccup thought, already sensing something ridiculous.

“I look like Stoick, huh?”

Hiccup rolled his eyes and scoffed. “I have no idea why my mom said that.”

Dagur leaned in. “You gonna start calling me Daddy now?”

Hiccup raised an elbow to Dagur’s chest and barked out a laugh. “Fat chance!” Dagur had in fact tried to get Hiccup to call him Daddy before. Hiccup just found it too embarrassing and weird. It didn’t help that Dagur did somewhat resemble Hiccup’s late father once he’d grown his hair out.

Dagur chuckled. “Heh. Maybe that’s why Valka likes me so much.”

“Dagur!”

[gremlins-hotel]

Everyday I grow closer to strangling a driver in this fucking city hit and run bastards this is my thirteenth reason

[leidensygdom]

at this point I refuse to praise any character creator as "great" if there's no option for fat people. I don't care about having half a dozen (binary) genital options if tummies are a nonexistent option.

[six-eared-gremlin-ao3]

Me and @monkiebois talking about our fics:

Stella: "-so Mac's had this baby for a week-"

Me: "Wait, a week??? You mean A Woven Song is in the timespan of a WEEK????"

Stella: *math noises* "Almost a week-and-a-half, yeah."

Me: *Confusion Noises* "You've got, like, 30 chapters; how is that only a week???? Peach Blossom Jade has been months now and I'm not even on Chapter 20-"

Stella: "Wait, MONTHS???"

Me: "Yeah, it was 3 weeks between Mac's hospital visit and The Flare-Up alone-"

Stella: "OH-"

Time is a thing that doesn't bother with this Gremlin-

[mayakern]

As a fibromyalgia sufferer I am so so sorry to hear you are in pain. I hope you get helpful treatment soon and that you are surroundes by supportive people. I just wanted to mention if you do go the route of creams or gels that they are toxic to pets who can lick them/rub on your soaked clothes/bedding etc so if you live with furry friends be extra careful! But they are genuinely amazing (I use a minty one that numbs me) and do a much better job for me personally than pills... I hope you find your thing soon or better yet the pain leaves you alone.

(Also you are sooo pretty and speak so pleasantly and your shirts are gorgeous)

oh that is a really really good warning, thank you!!

rodeo loves to lick any sort of moisturizer or fragrance off my skin (tho usually he goes for my legs and hands, sometimes my face, and not so much the back of my neck, which is the problem area) so i’ll make sure to be extra careful 🥲

also the man is unfortunately insatiable about earwax and it is the Worst

[invinciblerodent]

you don't understand i needed this out of my head urgently

[hussyknee]

Uninstalled Twitter and Tumblr off my phone and have been trying to disengage but the harder I try, the more the images rise up and refuse to leave. Yesterday I had a couple of hours of distraction and then my brain decided to throw up the video I saw weeks ago, of a toddler covered in ash, her little mouth a moue of surprise, conscious and blinking up at the ceiling while the medic cradled the back of her blown out skull. She died afterwards.

And it comes back to me again and again that there is no end to this, no respite, no help. And I feel half mad with pain.

I know it's entirely my fault that I engaged with Gaza at all knowing I was far too mentally ill to handle it, and then never once being able to disengage for over a month. Nobody with hyperempathy should go near something like this. But I kept thinking it would stop, it had to stop, they can't just systematically slaughter two million people with the entire world watching and protesting. But they're going to. They don't need bombs anymore because there's no food or water or medicine or place to escape the toxic smog of a month's worth of bombs and rotting corpses under rubble. They're just continuing to empty out all of Uncle Sam's toys on the heads of dying people because they're sadistic murderers who like to see their food writhing. And it's not going to end.

I feel unhinged with pain. If it hadn't been for my three little rescue kittens climbing on my lap and headbutting me for petting, I would have gone back to the hospital and demanded they fry my brain again. Six weeks of gaving my memory ripped up like lettuce leaves and tossed like a salad earlier this year was such a terrifying experience that I swore I would never get that desperate again. But I'd take my memory being wiped clean to just never have to remember any of this again.

[scarywary]

When you get serviced so good you gotta give props to the technician

[epitomees]

"Yeah, I'd totally kiss Death. Right on the mouth, too."