#golfing cameo

[sonichedgeblog]

In the free-to-play PC game 'SEGA Splash Golf', Sonic can be your caddy, and you can unlock Sonic themed clubs.

[telomeke]

WANDEE GOODDAY – DIRECTOR GOLF'S CAMEO

The official Wandee Goodday trailer is out, and the airdate has been announced as 4 May 2024. 😍

Now GMMTV has a long-established track record of producer/director cameos, where each appearance usually can be read as imbuing some sort of meaning to their onscreen role, or perhaps to their intentions behind the series. 🤩

And Director Golf Tanwarin's Wandee Goodday cameo appears briefly in the trailer too – though it's a cameo in name only, not in-person:

As the hospital is also named Tanwarin, this cameo seems to be messaging that Director Golf may be taking on the role of a healer with Wandee Goodday, or perhaps the conduit through which healing can take place? (This is somewhat similar to Director Au Kornprom's cameo as a school in My School President, which was possibly telegraphing the message that MSP was also working to impart the wisdom of older queer experience to the younger generation. 🤩)

Though how a BL about a doctor and his muay thai boxer friend-with-benefits will live up to this suggested therapeutic or health-giving mission I can't even begin to guess! 🤣

Waiting eagerly for 4 May 2024. May the fourth be with us all indeed! 💖

‌

[acmeoop]

Snakie Go Down The Hole… “Guardin' in the Garden” (1993)

[emdotcom]

Remember! If you share, more answers will be there.

[fragileizywriting]

marinette calls her children little sugarcubes uwu

[kimije]

Mini mini golf card for my dad

[arielries]

Bowser and Luigi are in love - but there's a spanner in the works: Mario! Across multiple universes, Bowser and Luigi find each other again and again.

You asked, we answered! The legendary Bowuigi Zine print edition is BACK for a limited time, 10 day only preorder campaign. I've teamed up with ShortBox for one last tango, bringing you a bumper edition of the original zine. With 11 new pages of content (including two minicomics!), the book is now a whopping 44 pages in total.

It introduces new characters such as "cunty luigi" and "golf", and even includes a cameo from the one and only Princess Peach, who shows herself to be an ally for the ages.

Preorders close on the 14th of April, and this will be--and I can't stress this enough--your absolute last chance to get the zine in print. The book will not be for sale in the ShortBox store after this period.

So don't delay, grab your copy here!

[g-xix]

Pub golf Forfeit // ArthurTV

🙏 xLoving mr ATV eternally 🙏 Content: kinda fluffy ig, extra-long 5k+ wordcount CWs: Alcohol

------------------------------------------

‼️READ THIS IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT PUB GOLF IS‼️ (if you do, skip this bold writing and move onto the main story)

Pub golf is a game where you visit a set amount of pubs and get different drinks at each one- and you need to try and finish these drinks without having to lower it, as many times as possible. 

TheBurntChip has used this concept with Harry W2S, ReevHD, Theo Baker, ArthurTV, ChrisMD, George Clarkey, and more- and that is what this oneshot is based around.

KEY TERMS: "Hole" -> the name of the pub. e.g. Hole 3 is the third pub that's been visited "Par" -> Number of sips/gulps it took to finish the drink Forfeit -> self explanatory but whenever the rules are breached/smth bad happens, a forfeit card is pulled and needs to be done. 

Reminder to always drink responsibly as per usual, only drink when you're legally allowed to do so and stay safe when going drinking.

-----------------------------------

"ArthurTV and Maddie!"

I turned to look across the line, my eyes meeting Arthur's.

It was my first time doing a pub golf on the TheBurntChip channel and I was somewhat terrified. Sure, I'd known all the other boys ranging from years to just a few months- but I'd grown just as close with George Clarkey, who I had only met a few months ago, to Harry, who I'd known for years, having first met him when big brother Chris and Harry filmed their football videos together.

But one thing that all of the boys knew for certain, was that I had developed a little online crush on ArthurTV. Of all of Chris' friends, I'd never had the pleasure of meeting Mr TV in real life until that moment, when Harry had let it slip to Freezy who'd let it slip to Chip that I liked Arthur... thus Chip DMed an invite to for a pub golf video alongside Harry, Reev, Chris, George Clarkey, Theo Baker, and of course, Arthur.

Oh and as if it wasn't bad enough, Chris, my very own half-brother, knew I had a crush on Arthur.

"That's quite a interesting pairing isn't it, Maddie?" Chris snickered from the side with a grin I knew meant that he was going to have the time of his life teasing me for the next few hours. 

"Bit of a coincidence if you ask me, Chrissy." Harry sneered from besides Chris, making my insides churn.

I wasn't so much a YouTuber as the rest of the boys- I was originally Chris's one and only member of the camera crew and production. In that small bedroom in Jersey, Chris and I would sit together on a desk and make lists of ideas for football challenges, ways to execute them, different shots to make the video dramatic... Then, we would hit the pitches and try to film without the older boys telling us to bugger off so they could play on the pitches.

Then, people started noticing the voice behind the camera, leading to me making a BROTHER VS SISTER  video for the channel, which was only the start of coming in front of the camera more. As Chris hired professional camera men and got set production budgets from serious producers, I was pushed more in front of the camera, making videos with Harry and Chris before lurching into the British YouTube scene, initially gravitating towards the e-boys content, before relocating moreso to reaction content with George Clarkey and Cam Kirkham. 

And we don't talk about that Stephen Tries sketch I attempted.

The fans were pleased with my occasional cameos in videos on the British YouTube channels, always finding new ship names for whoever I collaborated with, or new clips to edit, or rumours to spread... but overall, I couldn't be happier with where I've ended up. 

Well, not where I'd ended up whilst filmed pub golf- right in the middle of Chris and Harry's teasing. 

"How's it a coincidence?" Arthur asked, wide brown eyes swivelling between Harry, Chris and I like a deer caught in headlights.

"Oh, just because I said I uhm..." I started. Shit, quickly Maddie, think of something quickly... My thoughts began racing. Of course Chris would begin hinting towards the fact I had a crush on Arthur not even five minutes into the recording."Chris pointed out on the way here that us two were the only ones that have never collaborated together before... Like, you know... on a video..."

Yes he knows you meant on a video, genius. Great, you sound as thick as a brick now. 

"Oh yeah, that is true actually," Arthur realised, his face lighting up as the thought seemed to land in his head. He was so expressive with his voice- like an animated Pixar character, seemingly straight out of the movie. His voice was so calm, and slightly husky, and somehow matched his face perfectly. "You should come onto the channel if you like watching those 90 day fiancée type of programmes-"

"Arthur's playing the 9 minute fiancée game right now, by the looks of it-" George giggled, nudging me from behind which only made my cheeks burn red, Arthur simply laughing it off before responding.

"Is it working though, Maddie?" Arthur flashed a grin with a quick wink, myself pretending to fall into George's arms and fan myself with my hands, jokefully pretending I was falling for it. 

The real joke was that I wasn't just pretending to fall for it.

Arthur's biggest asset were those fucking eyes. They had me melting with how wide and doe-like they were- his eyes seeming to light up whenever he started a topic that interested him. 

"You're not chatting her up are you, Arthur?" Reev raised his brow and crossed his arms to ask. Out of all of the boys, Reev was the most like a brother in the fact he was so protective- always trying to make sure I was safe. The others were more like brothers in the fact they'd just tease me and get under my skin at every opportunity. 

I watched as Arthur's eyes widened, as he assumed Reev was trying to intimidate him.

"Give him a break, Reev, he's just having a laugh," I defended Arthur, not letting him respond to the allegation in fear that Arthur would shake his head or say that he really wasn't interested in me. That could wait until a few more holes, when I was too peppered to care.

"Well, listen to this you two, for your couples outfit, you two will be going as... The prisoner and the policeman...! or woman!" Chip exclaimed, throwing the outfits to us. 

I looked a the policewoman outfit he had handed to me- the costume coming with a short skirt, unscrupulous tie and lopsided police hat.

This was gonna be a long video...

...

"Hole one, the rule on his hole is that you must drink it with your left hand!"

Hole one was easy. Arthur sent his pint down in one and after Harry and Reev, it was my turn to have my pint of lager. 

"You want me to hold your hair back?" He offered. I searched for a band on my wrist and almost facepalmed as I realised I hadn't thought to bring one.

"Yes please, I completely forgot to get a hairband... Just come up behind me and grab my hair, while I do it" I said, scrunching my face up with realisation of what I'd said only once it had come out of my mouth.

"What was that?" Harry asked, bursting into laughter.

"Get in, Mr TV-"

"Please, not at that at the drinking table-"

"Not on the Chippo YouTube channel, you won't, but I can think of another site where you could-"

"Shut up I didn't mean it like that..." I groaned and put my head in my hands. "Look, I'm just going to send off the pint-"

Arthur's hand wrapped around my hair, the other one on my shoulder, rubbing it and giving soft words of encouragement. I let the drink tip down my throat easily as I felt the face heat up, his words landing hot on the back of my neck and making me want to shiver, despite the fact I was holding the drink. I could feel my face burning when I dropped the glass back down, grinning with the fact I had done it in one...

"That was really good- I didn't think you could finish it in two." Harry commented, nodding his head in surprise.

"I did it in one though?"

"Counted as two points though- you drank it with your right hand." Chip explained with a devious grin. 

Of course I had been stupid enough as to forget the rule- too fixated on gorgeous bloody Arthur instead of what I was actually meant to be doing. Drinking.

"That one's Arthur's fault- Maddie was too distracted by waiting for you to come up behind her-"

"SHUT UP, GEORGE!" Arthur's face went into his hands this time, both of us clearly a blushing mess from all the comments the boys were making. 

...

"What does your forfeit card say?" Arthur asked as we travelled to the next hole, not downcast despite my mess-ups, as we were still in joint second. 

"Sing a song with your partner at one of the holes." I read it off. "Sorry for getting you roped into it..."

"No, no, that's actually one of the only one's I'd happily be roped into," Arthur shook his head. "I suppose we just need to think of a song to sing... You a fan of Harry Potter?"

"Am I?!" I repeated enthusiastically. "You have no idea how much I used to love those books, movies... Even the Cursed Child I went and saw."

"Seriously? I just get called a nerd whenever I say I like Harry Potter," Arthur gawked. "Do you have a wand?"

"Yep, Ginny's wand- black and fourteen inches." I proudly nodded. "You could see those fourteen inches later ya know..."

"Only if you're trying to see a rather bendy, sixteen inch one with waterproofing." Arthur retaliated with confidence. 

"You got Hagrid's wand?"

"Duh, it came with an umbrella."

"Of course that's why you'd get it."

"This is hole two to the left, here!" Chip bellowed from behind. I lagged behind slightly to walk with Chris and Harry- catch up with them for a moment.

"You and Arthur getting cozy, eh?" Chris wiggled his brows, looking forwards to Arthur who was petting a dog with Reev- the both of them looking completely out of place, dressed in a bright orange prisoner jumpsuit and Reev as ketchup bottle (with a hat for a lid)- though the dog seemed pleased nonetheless. 

"Just don't let me catch you two snogging after a few more drinks." Harry put bluntly, making my eyes go wide.

"Just because you guys know I like him doesn't mean he likes me back, unfortunately." I reminded them, though I could feel my heart melting as Arthur scratched the back of the dog's ear and tickled his chin, the dog happily wagging his tail with his tongue lolling out as Arthur pet him. 

"Seems to like you enough." Harry shrugged. "Like you enough to come up behind you and-"

"Seriously shut up... Did I sound that stupid when I said that?"

"Yeah."

"No"

Chris and Harry responded simultaneously.

"Okay you sounded a little flustered when you said it, but then Arthur was blushing and looked shy as well- and everyone knows he's a bit awkward around women he likes," Harry pat my back comfortingly. "If anything he looked like more of a tit than you."

"Great, thanks Harry." I responded, somewhat flatly and yet somewhat happily. 

"Maddie, your team's getting another forfeit because Arthur scared the dog away." Chip addressed me as we neared the bar.

"Like hell he did, that dog loved him!" I exclaimed, head swivelling to find Arthur guiltily wavering his eye contact.

"Theo tried to take the dog away from me by offering it something so I tried to bash him with his wheelchair but the dog got scared and ran off." Arthur explained, kicking at a pebble on the ground. 

"Did you hit Theo?"

"Yes-"

"Well then... At least you hit him."

"What the fuck, Maddie." Theo deadpanned. 

"Don't try steal Arthur's bitches I guess." I shrugged, watching as Arthur withdrew a forfeit card, his face dropping as he read it. 

"What does it say?" I asked, leaning over to try and read it. He smacked it against his chest before shoving it into a pocket, eyes wide as they met my own.

"Uhh- nothing." Arthur spluttered. "We can sort it out when we get to hole five when forfeits are actually activated... What did you say the rule for this hole was, Chip?"

"Drink with your partner holding the glass." Chip responded. 

I looked at Arthur.

"You're quite a bit taller- you're gonna have to crouch down for me to hold it." I realised, picking up the bloody mary and wrinkling my nose. "They really couldn't have picked a worse drink."

"They're foul aren't they." Arthur gave a dirty look to the glass. 

Each pair began seeing their drinks off, using a variety of methods to check whether it was too much or they needed a break.

"Do we need to do the hand-squeeze method to indicate whether it's too much?" Arthur asked, looking distastefully as Reev squeezed Harry's hand, signalling for Harry to tilt more. 

"I'm thinking we just raw-dog it." I shrugged, looking up for Arthur's reaction. He nodded in tasteful agreement.

"That's how I usually do it, anyways."

He picked one glass up. "You first," He stated instead of asking. "And open wide."

Reev gave him a neck-slap and a "Watch it, Arthur..." before I opened my mouth and tilted my head back, finishing it in one. 

"Alright, sit down so you're lower down, Arthur." I spoke through a shudder, the bitterness of the bloody mary giving me a whole-body shiver. 

Picking up a glass, I stood to the side of Arthur and held it up to his face, leaning over slightly due to the awkward angle I stood at. 

"Just come 'ere-" He reached out, steadfastly placing his hands on my hips and manspreading- pulling me between his legs so that I was closer and presumably so that he had a better angle to drink from. I felt my body react to his touch, cheeks warming and knees feeling a bit wobbly as he held his hands there for a moment longer, his grip firm but not forceful. I tried to maintain composure and stop myself from running my hands through his fluffy hair and kissing him right then and there.

"You watch your bloody hands, Arthur." Chris warned, causing Arthur to hold them up by his head as if pleading innocence. As he finally released his hold, I couldn't help but notice how the closeness between us left a lingering sensation, like an electric current still pulsating through my skin. His presence was intoxicating, and I struggled to steadily hold the glass for Arthur to down. I turned to death-glare Chris as I placed the glass back onto the table once Arthur had finished it. 

"Why would anyone voluntarily order that, that's awful... I feel like I've lost my soul after drinking that..." Arthur shivered at the bitterness. "Who knew dementors could be put in drinks..."

Laughing, I sat down besides him and leaned my head against his shoulder as if it were second nature. It felt so natural and cosy against the crook of his neck, and I felt warmed even more as he put his arm around my shoulders, watching in a comfortable silence as Chip choked on his drink from across the table. 

"You're so cute..." I murmured, and only once the words had been said did I regret them slightly. I facepalmed internally as Arthur struggled to reply for a moment, myself wondering why I had to be such a lightweight; only 2 drinks down and already I was making careless comments.

"Am I really cute?" Arthur asked after a moment, and I pulled away from his shoulder to dopily smile at him. 

"Of course you are, you have a cute little smile." I grinned, causing his lips to stretch out into a smile as he laughed slightly, eyes curving into happy little crescents as he did. "See? Cutest smile I've even seen." I giggled, and Arthur looked down with such domestic happiness in his glowing chocolate eyes I felt as though my heart were melting, simply so infatuated with him.

"Hope I'm not interrupting anything here-" Harry planted himself between Arthur and I on the bench, forcing Arthur's arm away and my head from his neck. Arthur cleared his throat and looked at the ground whilst Harry looked between Arthur and I. "What, something wrong?" Harry responded to my blank face, before grinning and giving a wink which Arthur couldn't see. 

"Prick," I hissed as I passed Harry on the walk to the third hole, causing Harry to burst into laughs and start explaining to Chris what he's done- only making Chris laugh alongside him. 

Pricks.

...

Hole three was easy- just a glass of wine and pub quiz Arthur and I managed to lose a point at for winning the quiz. 

As the smallest person there, I was also the least able to handle large amounts of alcoholic units- and it had begun showing, from the moment I went to stand up and almost fell back down. 

Arthur had to walk with his arm around me to the next pub, though I wasn't complaining- instead holding his hand and making him skip with me to hole four. 

"Long Island iced teas on this one," Chip explained. "And the rule here is that one member of the team must drink it blindfolded."

"I think I'm more sober than you at the minute," Arthur stated the obvious, as if I hadn't just made him skip to this hole. "I'll wear the blindfold for this one."

"You sure? I'm not completely gone right now, just a bit...Well..." It was a pointless proposition from myself. Arthur just shook his head, handing me the blindfold.

I slipped the material over his eyes, placing the drink on a separate table to that the boys wouldn't dump ice into his drink (which had just happened to Theo's drink), and directing him to the glass- though Chip had better ideas. 

"Maddie, could you please regulated the hand-" Arthur spoke waveringly, and I noticed that Chip had a hand on Arthur's arse.

"Oi, chip-" I reached over for the space hopper which was besides the bag, whacking Chip with it before being hit in the face with it myself.

"Fuck!" We both exclaimed. Arthur had found his glass and drank it in one towards the side, meanwhile Chip found Theo's wheelchair and he began fighting against me and my space hopper. "Chip, I don't think you're gonna win this one," I huffed as the space hopper bounced off of his side, making him stumble slightly. 

"Like shit won't I win- I've been going gym you know-" I cut off his rambles by throwing the hopper at him, causing him to stumble back and trip slightly over the curb so that he was sat on the pavement- allowing me to put my arm around his neck, squeezing only slightly.

"Tap out already, Chip..." I groaned whilst Chip shook his head whilst struggling.

"Chip isn't used to tapping out, he usually passes out before he gets the chance." Theo sneered from the side. That seemed to be enough to make Chip tap out. 

We finished our drinks after that before agreeing on a short grace period, where we sat around and chattered for a few minutes.

"The blindfold makes you feel like, ten times more drunk than you actually are." George said, the other who had worn the blindfold agreeing. 

"You should try it, Maddie- you're by far the most off your head right now- it'll be funny to see how you react to it."

That's how I ended up on the pavement, blindfold on and hands outstretched as Arthur directed me, his fingers occasionally brushing against mine as he'd insisted on walking beside me to make sure I didn't get a concussion from falling over anything.

"Watch the curb here, it's quite difficult navigating- WHOA" As soon as Arthur had said that, I stumbled, almost falling but Arthur held me up from behind whilst the others laughed from the table at my stagger. "You sure you wanna continue? I don't think it's safe, Maddie..."

"It'll be okay, I'm just gonna get back to the table and pull it off..."

I took a few more staggered steps, Arthur holding my hand to guide me whilst I was blinded, his hand warm and reassuring, and I felt confident with Arthur's unwavering presence by my side. His touch sent a gentle electrical ripples down my spine, igniting a spark that brought butterflies to life in my stomach as I focussed less on walking and more on Arthur.

But then I felt a blow to my head- not painful- but extremely forceful.

Some voices screamed "CHIP!" whilst another shouted "Maddie!" as I staggered, waiting to fall- before feeling hands on my back and the crook of my knees, gravity seeming to turn upside down for a moment, before the blindfold was ripped off. 

Arthur's face was above my own, looking forwards as he walked- his two strong arms holding me flush to his body as he carried me in what I assumed was bridal style- having prevented my fall. He looked gorgeous from this angle- his chiselled features accentuated by the soft glow of the sunshine through the dull English clouds- and his eyes, like pools of warm honey, never not making me melt.

"You okay, Maddie?" He looked down and questioned, eyes full of concern and yet also alighting sparks within me as they met my own.

"What? Of course I am... What even happened?" I asked in confusion as I looked back and saw the boys with open mouths looking between myself and Chip, who had a look of upmost guilt on his face. Arthur sat down on one of the seats surrounding the table and lowering me onto that same seat before replying. Nevermind- I was actually sat on his lap, and was NOT going to complain about it.

Chris was going to instead.

"She can sit on her own seat, Arthur-"

"She's almost been bloody ran over, she's sticking with me for now." Arthur huffed resolutely, wrapping his arms around my waist as he spoke to make his point. I felt my head go fuzzy from the touch, leaning back into his touch and resting my head onto his shoulder where it felt like it belonged... Before pulling it back off quickly as I digested his words again.

"Hang on, almost ran over? What the Hell just happened?"

"Chip thought it'd be a good idea to whack you with the space hopper whilst you were blindfolded and he knocked you off balance- you would've fallen into the road if Arthur hadn't got you." Harry explained, a small smile playing on his face. 

"Good man, Arthur." Reev nodded his head approvingly before turning to Chip. "And you, you're no better at handling your drink than her- what if she had gotten run over?"

"Good riddance, in that case." Chip sipped his water calmly, making me throw an ice cube at him.

In the end, Chip made a formal apology (which was of course easily accepted), and drew another forfeit card, having to take 3 shots to make up for almost brutally murdering me- which I thought was very fair. 

Hole five happened so quickly I didn't even register it- though that may have been also due to the knock to the head Chip had delivered. 

However on the walk between hole five to hole six, the alcohol began taking its effect on more people. 

Namely, Chris and Chip.

Chip had found the space hopper once more and began hammering Chris with it whilst Chris balled up onto the ground. "YOU STUPID BOY-" Chip was yelling between blows, Harry and Reev slapping each other between laughs. 

Then, Harry set off on his bike to the next hole as Chip let Chris get up- before we all slung our arms over each other and began the journey to hole 6, singing Backstreet Boys all the way there. 

Arthur lagged behind slightly, and though I was busy singing with Chris and Chip, I did notice they were having quite a hushed conversation, and looking our way every so often.

"Hole six- forfeits are now activated!"

"Can I know your forfeit yet?" I whispered to Arthur, and he simply shook his head with a small smile. 

"I know what it is, Maddie," Reev giggled to the side, rubbing his hands together with a look of glee on his face. 

"Is that what you two were talking about whilst we walked here?" I gasped at the realisation, looking between the two as they shrugged with all-knowing smiles on their faces. 

Hole six was easy- sambuca shots with no hands. I managed mine, though I almost choked it and chipped it when it clattered onto the table- whereas Arthur was found out for trying to dilute his drink, and was made to do two shots instead. 

Still, he didn't seem to be off his head at all.

"Arthurrr," I sang I skipped up to him, on the journey to hole seven.

"Madelyn." He nodded cordially, saying my full name before smirking as he saw my face wrinkle in disgust. "Not a fan of your full name?"

"Not when it's bloody Madelyn, I'm not," I responded, shuddering at the thought.

"Maddie sounds like you're mad," Arthur pondered. "You should just go with... Lyn."

"...Lyn." I repeated, trying to hold a laugh.

"Yeah, it's cute- just like you." Arthur grinned down, making me turn away so he wouldn't see the stupid blush that began spreading across my cheeks.

"Suddenly I quite like that name." I smiled bashfully back, and Arthur just laughed, sliding an arm around me casually and allowing me to rest my head against his shoulder as we walked in a comfortable silence.

"You're so fine, Arthur." I said after a while. "You know I like you?"

"I like you too, Lyn." He patted my head and pulled his arm away, instead slipping his hand into mine as we walked. I didn't feel satisfied with his reaction. Did he not realise I meant that I liked him romantically?

"No, I meant that like- I really like-"

"AND HERE IS HOLE SEVEN!" 

Trust Chip to ruin a romantic moment. 

just an fyi im swapping the order of the holes- everything that happened in the vid at hole 8 is now assumed to have happened at hole 7, and vice versa

"Lyn I don't think I an do another pint," Arthur put down two drinks onto the table before sitting on my lap instead of the bench, allowing me to plop my policeman hat onto his head and hug him from behind, shaking my head.

"I've been finished since hole three, Arthur- I don't care what happens now, you can just sip the whole thing and I'll be fine with that." I groaned. "I'm definitely doing this in at least three different pars..."

I did exactly that. Arthur managed his in five, alongside my words of encouragement which made Chip awhhh.

"I love how everyone hates each other and is beating each other with the space hopper between holes whilst Arthur and Maddie are too busy holding hands and being wholesome with each other, walking alone to each hole." Chip said with a disoriented smile at one of the cameras, louder than he thought he was being as both myself and Arthur watched him say it to the camera.

"Bit early to be holding hands isn't it?" Chris asked, dopily swinging his head back to Arthur and I, only just registering Arthur was also sat on my lap. "Naughty, don't be sitting on each others laps like I have no idea what's going in where when someone sits on someone's lap-"

"That's enough from you, Chris." I shushed my brother, pressing a hand to his mouth which weakly attempted to paw away from his mouth.

"On to hole eight, final hole?" Chip proposed and everyone nodded in agreement- all too ready to get this over and done with.

"I don't think I've ever been this drunk before." I admitted to Arthur as we exited the pub, hands clasped together and swinging joyfully back and forth as we walked, as though we were kids. "I feel like I'm not even walking."

"And now you really aren't even walking," Arthur said as he placed his arms on my legs and back, scooping me back into his arms, carrying me as though I were nothing. I wrapped my arms around his neck and stared up at his face I'd grown so fond of over these past few hours. 

"What song d'you wanna sing for my forfeit at the next hole?" I questioned, myself also wondering what we could sing. 

"Oh it'll come to us when we get there..." Arthur spoke lazily, jumping me up to readjust my grip causing me to let out a squeak before relaxing against his body. Did he have abs under that shirt? It felt like it. He is so fine. 

My thoughts died out as I realised this was the final hole and after this it would be all over. Thank God. 

We all clinked our jaeger bombs together, the lightweight drink easily going down in one for everyone before Chip reminded Arthur and I that we still had forfeits we had to complete.

"What is your forfeit Arthur?" Harry asked inquisitively- somehow looking as though he hadn't had a single drink, although he had in fact had the most, having ordered an extra pint for good measure.

"That's what I'm asking- he still hasn't told me, either!" I exclaimed, looking for Arthur to give his game up and show the card. "C'mon, surely you can reveal it now that it's the last hole-"

"Not before you do your forfeit-song to the bar- look- they have a karaoke machine nobody's using there, go use it before someone else takes it!" Arthur rushed, pointing at the TV screen connected to a microphone and speakers. The other boys began clamouring their agreement before pushing me up to the stage, a bundle of nerves as I stumbled up the stairs, slotting a coin into the machine and waiting for the next song to come on. 

"ArthurTV this is a GROUP FORFEIT- GET UP ONTO THE STAGE!" I shouted and held a hand out to Arthur, causing him to take my hand and get onto the stage with the help of the boys, as they cheered upon hearing the first few chords of the infamous song we were only singing a few hours ago.

I Want it That Way, by the Backstreet Boys. Of course. 

I held the mic out for Arthur to hold with me as we sang the first line.

You are... My fi-ire, the one... desi-ire

I opened my eyes and faced Arthur, the look of joy melted into his caramel eyes and making me feel soft and gentle hearted as we went to sing the next line.

Believe... When I say... THAT I WANT IT THAT WAY

I looked out to the crowd and saw that some tables had turned to face us, singing alongside the tune- and all the other boys had huddled together, arms around each other and swaying back and forth as they joined us for the chorus. 

Tell me why Ain't nothin' but a heartache

Arthur closed his eyes as he virtually shouted the lyrics into the microphone, getting so into the song I had to pause to laugh before continuing

Tell me why Ain't nothin' but a mistake Tell me why I never wanna hear you say

Arthur and I leaned it to sing the final bit of the song, heartily enjoying as the rest of the bar joined us to finish it.

I want it that way

I looked at Arthur, his own eyes meeting me own- full of a tender sort of love I had only ever seen in the movies...

Cause I want it that way...

The song ended with whistles and claps from the rest of the bar, before I dropped the microphone to the ground, wheeling around to face Arthur with a squeal and outstretched arms, as my arms wrapped around his neck, his arms found my waist, pulling me right off of the floor as he hugged me, spinning me around once before I pulled my head off of his chest and looked up at his glowing face.

My eyes only flickered down to his lips for a milisecond before I felt his on top of my own, a billion tiny fireflies lighting up and racing around my stomach as I closed my eyes, relaxing into his hands which were positioned lazily around my waist, holding me lovingly as his lips caressed my own, tuning out the world around us as I focussed on just him and I- together - his lips perfectly top of mine.

...

"What was your forfeit in the end, Arthur?" I asked, eyebrows scrunched as I sat on his lap at the table- arms around his neck and my police hat and tie around Arthur's neck. 

Theo was close to nodding off whilst Chip besides him already had. Chris had taken to the stage, wowing the bar with his drunk dancing and (not) killer vocals. Harry, George and Reev still seemed alright however, and were sat making warm conversation around the table, laughing and joking like there was nothing wrong. And truly- there was nothing wrong.

Arthur smiled slightly at my question before tugging at his pocket and pulling out the card, sharpie pen scrawled across it saying:

Give a kiss to the fittest person in the group xoxo (Doesn't have to be on the lips, Chip- we know you will anyways, but everyone else- just know you don't need to go that deep)

I laughed at the bracketed side-note before looking up to Arthur who smiled goofily down at me, looking so pleased- as though he wouldn't rather have anyone else in his arms.

My hand found the side of his face, thumb tracing his jawline and running up his cheeks before padding at his lips. Closing my eyes, I leaned it, finding his lips as we kissed once more, still with the afterglow of embers burning in my heart as I realised I couldn't be happier in anyone else's arms. 

-----------------------------------------------------

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[corazondebeskar-reads]

you know you never stood a chance - deleted scene: "hey, sister"

you know you never stood a chance series

deleted scene: hey, sister

series masterlist

Joel Miller x f!reader

Words: 4.6k

Summary: you and joel try to patch things up with ellie before the baby comes. this takes place before the epilogue but I recommend reading the epilogue first!

Note: posting this now as part of Moth & Birdee's Mother's Day Fic Challenge! This is the final deleted scene for the series. (also if the first bit seems familiar, I posted a snippet during febuwhump).

Warnings: established relationship, technically spoilers for tlou pt 2 but no one goes golfing, terrible communication, makeup sex instead of communicating, p in v, two idiots at the end of the world, fluff, brief Tommy & Maria cameos, baby used as a plot device, vague descriptions of childbirth (nothing graphic in any way), vague depictions of breastfeeding, pregnancy, postpartum depression, family trouble, joel and ellie aren't speaking, estranged family dynamics

also on ao3

dividers by @saradika-graphics

Joel has the nerve to look sheepish when you storm into the house, door smacking against the drywall. You fumble when you try to grab for the edge of it, eventually grasping and slamming it closed.

“You lied to me,” you said, low and dangerous, heart thrumming with all you’ve been told. You clasp at your chest for a moment, sure that your hand will come back red. 

You let the accusation hang, daring him to grab it and throw it aside. 

But he doesn’t. He can’t. He knows he’s been flayed and left open to burn. 

“I lied to everybody,” he says after minutes have crept by. 

“You lied to me,” you snarl. The corner of your lip jerks, an involuntary sneer. You’d trained yourself to do it in the dingy mirror of your first Boston apartment, holding the other side down until you looked as nasty and tough as the rest of them. 

It worked. It was just a twitch now, unstoppable, popping up when you needed it, whether or not you wanted it. 

Oh, but you do right now. You want it. You want him to see the way you’re rethinking this whole fucking situation.

“I had to,” he says. 

“Oh, fuck off. I trusted you.” 

“I never asked ya to,” he snaps. There he goes. There’s the Joel you know and thought you loved. 

The fight slips from your fists, unfurling and folding over your chest instead. “You’re right. You didn’t.” 

He doesn’t stop you when you go upstairs, but oh, does he wish he had when you come back down a few minutes later. His brain almost doesn’t put it together; the sight of your backpack straps so incongruous with your life here in Jackson.

“What—” he starts, but you don’t let him finish.

“Don’t. I’ll come back by in a few days. And you can think about if it was fuckin’ worth it, Joel.” 

“Worth it to save her life?”

“For fucks sake, Joel, I’m not mad you did it! Jesus, is that what you think of me?” 

You had been trying to keep quiet before, but that’s dead and buried. He raises his voice to match.

“How the hell am I supposed to know what you’re thinkin’?”

“You’re supposed to talk to me, Joel! You’re supposed to tell me shit. You tell me when there’s chili at the hall, you tell me when Tommy has a stomachache, but you can’t fuckin’ tell me how close it came? Can’t tell me what you had to do to save that girl? To bring her home?” 

It’s too late. He’s shut down; you can see it. “I ain’t sorry. About any of it,” he says, and it’s clear and crisp, but you feel like it filters in from across town, something too distant to be sure what you heard. 

But you know. 

“Figure out if it was worth it to lose both of us,” you snarl before you can stop. And it does exactly what you meant it to. It whips across his face like a snowball packed with ice. 

His own sneer twitches to meet yours. You think you might burst if you stay there too long, held perfectly still between him and the door. Might spill more words you don’t want to watch him hear, might throw and shatter the vase on the foyer table, might break down into tears. 

Part of you wants to break, to give in, to try to pull the confession from him and pray he didn’t mean it. That he wants you to trust him. That he is sorry.

But you leave, and when you hear the door slam after you’re down the road, you don’t turn back.

You don’t cry until he opens the door, brows knitted together in confusion.

“What’re you doin’ here this late?”

But your lip trembles. “Tommy—” you start, and it breaks into a crackling, shaky breath. “Did you know?”

Tommy pulls you in for a hug. “Shit,” he says quietly. “No. Just this morning, too. C’mon."

You’re reading in bed when you hear them. 

“I don’t think it’s a good idea. She seemed awfully upset, and I think she’s already asleep.” Tommy’s voice carries easily up the stairs. He’s not a quiet kind of man. 

“Jus’ let me talk to her for a minute,” Joel says. 

You hold your place in the book with a finger shut between the pages, waiting to see who wins this round. It’s a toss-up, really, for who’ll crack. They’re both stubborn as all hell. 

“I mean it, Joel,” Tommy says firmly but kindly. “She was cryin’ all evening and she just finally fell asleep.”

“Fuckin’ hell,” Joel says. “Fine.”

You hear the slow creak of the door and heave a shaky sigh, unable to tell the difference between the relief and disappointment. 

He had come looking for you. You hadn’t expected that, not really. 

But of course, you don’t get to go Miller-free for the night. Tommy knocks shortly after. 

“Hey,” he gives a weak half-smile. “So, how much of that did you hear?”

“All of it,” you admit. 

“He seemed pretty upset,” Tommy says. He sits on the edge of the bed. 

“Good,” you mutter, scowling. 

“I just—look, I don’t want you to think I’m pickin’ teams. But y’all worked hard for what you’ve got. It’d be a shame if ya walked away from it.”

You sigh and lean back against the headboard. “I know. But he really hurt me this time. I trusted him.”

Tommy sighs. “I hear ya. I didn’t know, either. He really didn’t tell anybody. I think he was plannin’ on takin’ it to the grave.”

You know, because you know Joel. You know he didn’t want to put you in a hard place between him and Ellie. Didn’t want to ask you to shoulder his decision. And you know you’re going to forgive him. Maybe not today. But it’s already settling in your bones.

Joel meets you in the foyer. He must have heard you coming up the porch. You slip in and shut the door before just… standing there.  Just as you had three days ago. 

“Sweetheart,” Joel starts, and with it, takes all your resolve. 

You sniffle. 

“Don’t cry,” he pleads, but it just tips the tears over the crest of your eyes anyway. 

You let him fold you into his arms, one hand cupping the back of your head to hold you against his chest. Your fingers twine into the soft green flannel, the lingering cinnamon and wood smoke as soothing as ever. 

But as soon as you’ve pulled it together, you extract yourself. “We’re going to have to talk about it,” you say to the button on his breast pocket. 

He tilts your chin up with two curled fingers. “I know. You gotta promise you’re gonna hear me out this time.”

You nod and before you can speak, he’s kissing you, one hand soft against your cheek.

“Don’t ever do that to me again, ya hear me?” he murmurs against your lips. “Don’t run away.”

“Don’t you do that to me again,” you retort, but there’s little fire behind it as you lean up to kiss him again.

He’s sweet from the honey he puts in your tea. He always tastes it before he gives it to you. 

“Hang on, how’d you know I was coming home?”

He grimaces. “Didn’t.”

“But—“

“Shut up.” It’s not sharp, but embarrassed. His cheeks are a little flushed.

You can’t help the fond smile. “What a sap you are, Miller.”

He kisses you again, unable to stay parted for long. “M’serious,” he murmurs. “Don’t run away. Y’can be mad at me all you want, but do it here.”

“I am mad,” you say quietly.

“I know,” he says, pulling your head against his chest and holding it there under his wide palm. “I deserve it.”

“Yeah,” you nod, but there’s no heat behind it. “You’re an ass.” 

“M’your ass.”

“No, this is my ass,” you wiggle a little. 

“Now see, that’s where you’re wrong, sweetheart,” he gives it a hard smack, squeezing with his wide palm. “This is all mine. Said so yourself.” 

It’s as if you blew out a candle, the way his eyes have gone dark and encompassing. You can’t help but moan a little, and his lips quirk up at the corner. 

“Right?” he prompts, backing you over to the couch. 

“Uh-huh,” you squeak as he lies you down, tugging your sweatpants down as he goes. 

His fingers slide down and cup over your cunt, pushing your body close between his legs. “And this greedy little pussy is mine.” He wastes no time in pressing inside you, giving you no room or breath to adjust to his cock.

His hand slides back up to brush along the side of your breast. “Pretty tits just for me,” he murmurs in your ear, tweaking a nipple to hear you whine. His voice has gone low and rich, his Texas twang a little thicker. 

His thumb rests on your lower lip. “Perfect, eager mouth.” He pulls his thumb away right as you try to suck on it and replaces it with his lips, tongue dipping in to taste you. 

“Hmm? Anyone home?” he taunts. 

The sound you make is more like a strangled balloon than an actual word, and he chuckles. 

“See? I know what you need, sweetheart. All of you is mine,” he murmurs against your lips, pulling out torturously slow and pressing back in until your hips are flush. 

“Fuck, Joel, please,” you whine. You want to be mad that he’s distracted you from being mad, but, well… it’s working. 

The thick emotions of it all don’t leave so easily. Your throat is clogged with it, his breath is heavy with it, and the way he works at your clit is an apology on repeat.

Until it isn’t anymore. Until it’s less “I’m sorry” and more desperation. You’re writhing a little beneath him, the ache at a breaking point, pleading for him to push you over the edge he’s brought you to again and again and again.

“No,” he pants. “Not until you promise. Promise you won’t leave.”

“I’m not,” you nearly sob. “Joel.”

It’s the way you cry his name. He can’t keep pushing you; he pulls all the way out and drops to his knees on the living room floor, burying his face in your cunt with all the fervor he’s been fucking into you.

He goes straight for your clit, three fingers in your cunt, and wrings you dry over and over before he relents and plunges his cock back in you to the hilt, setting a punishing pace, though you aren’t sure which one of you is being punished by it.

Maybe both, but in reality, neither, since he comes deep inside you moments later.

It’s not the first time, but it is rare for him to slip up that way. Still, you think nothing of it, given how low the chances are. 

Lulu is born in the peak of July. It’s hotter than hell and you’re glad that Ellie had gone with the other kids on the trip to the lake. It had been the reason you stayed behind, originally planning to go along with Maria and Alé. 

Joel hadn’t wanted you to go at all. It wasn’t far and even though you weren’t due for another month, he didn’t like it. 

The due date was kind of made up, though. It was really up to you and Joel counting on your fingers to see if you remembered the last time you had a period. 

Not that your period was very consistent to begin with.

His eyebrows had climbed higher and higher as you went back a week at a time to see if either of you could associate an event with it, like if he had fucked you in the ass for a few days or something. 

He had, but really, that wasn’t a great predictor, since he was still coming home from patrol riled up the way he used to in Boston. For the sake of your poor, well-loved cunt, you mixed it up a lot. 

You waited another four weeks before going to see Alice at the clinic. 

After she confirmed what you frankly already knew, you tried to talk to Ellie. 

The first time you visited the shed, you almost chickened out, rocking back and forth on your heels while you waited outside. She cracked the door open, mouth twisted until she saw you. 

“Hey!” She gave you a hug, and you held her as long as she allowed (which wasn’t long; she was a teenager, after all). “Wanna come in?”

“Sure, kiddo, I’d love to see what you’ve done with the place.”

She beams and lets you in, shutting the door behind her to keep out the late autumn breeze. 

You’re not sure what you were expecting. You had feared something bare and cold, where she’d be lonely all winter. But the space is all Ellie. You look over, and she’s clearly bracing herself for your judgment.

“This is so cool,” you tell her, and she lights up. You drink in her toothy, genuine grin, and decide this is not the time. 

“You think so?” she says.

“Kiddo, I would have killed to have a place like this when I was your age. I had a treehouse, but that was nothing compared to this. Where’d you get all this stuff?”

“I traded around town for it; you know I’ve been—” and she stops, smile gone. “Well. I guess you don’t know. I’ve been doing some jobs after school in exchange for cool stuff.”

She’s guarded again, maybe expecting you to tell her off or nag at her for not telling you.

“That’s great, kiddo. That was a clever idea. What kind of stuff have you been doing?” 

You end up on the couch while she sits on her bed across the room. You don’t think the space is intentional, but you don’t want to cross it in case it is. 

She tells you about babysitting and cleaning, helping other residents with their jobs in the gardens and the stables. She shows you some of her prizes as she goes, gushing over a thick astronomy textbook. It’s beyond your knowledge level, but she’s clearly been devouring every word. Its real value, she says, is that it was printed in 2003 for some college. But the textbooks they had in the QZ were from 2001. 

“Did you know that after we discovered all the moons the other planets have—like did you know Jupiter has fifty moons? They told us it was 38—and then people were getting confused about our moon being the moon, so they started calling it Luna in all these research papers. It's all so fucking cool.”

“That’s incredible, Ell. I’m so proud of you.” 

It’s the wrong thing to say. Sometimes, you forget she’s still a teenager. 

“Yeah, it’s whatever,” she says, shifting uncomfortably. “Did you need something?”

“No. Just wanted to see you,” you lie. 

It’s the wrong thing again. 

“Did Joel make you come here?”

“He doesn’t even know I’m here.” That, at least, is the truth. 

“Okay,” she says. 

“I—” you start, not knowing what you’re going to say, but hoping your runaway tongue will do patchwork here. But she doesn’t let you get that far.

“Hey, so, I was actually going out when you got here, so.”

“Oh, okay. Sorry to have kept you.” You believe her about as much as she believed you a minute ago, but you’re not going to push. You get up, and she lets you give her a hug, but it’s not returned very enthusiastically this time. “It was nice to see you, kiddo.”

“Yeah, um, see you later.” 

When she shuts the door behind you, it feels uncomfortably final.

You don’t try again for another month, when you have the excuse of Christmas to give you gumption. 

When you knock, she’s slow to open. Her face is unreadable, and she crosses her arms over her chest. 

“What?” she says. 

You nearly shove the bundle in your arms at her. “Merry Christmas. I know it’s early, but it’s supposed to be real cold this week, and—”

Anything else you were about to word vomit catches in your throat while she opens the gift. You’re terrified she’ll reject it, reject you. You’ve been working on it for a while. Since before the fight, even, worried about her in that damn shed all winter.

This quilt is patchwork blues, different shades and patterns. Over top you’ve cut out and stitched the galaxy together for her. It’s maybe childish, but you don’t think she ever had a chance for many childish things. And it’s not nice, not like the ones they used to sell at Pottery Barn when you were a kid that your parents could never afford. 

“You made this for me?” she says. 

“Yeah, kiddo, of course. Sorry it’s not quite accurate, I—”

Her hug knocks the breath from you for a moment, but you hold her to you and try not to cry. It doesn’t last long, and you can see the way her conflicting feelings are making her uncomfortable. But she surprises you.

“Wanna come in?” she says.

“Oh, um. Maybe later, I’m-um, I’m on my way to dinner at Tommy’s. Do you, um. Do you want to come with us?”

The scowl is back. “You mean with you and Joel.” His name was a dirty word spat from her mouth. 

“Well, yeah. We miss you, kiddo. I miss having everybody together.”

“He put you up to this.” It’s harsh and she knows it, sees the way you blink against the offense. 

“I’m capable of doing things of my own accord. Is it so hard to believe that I want to see you?” 

“Sorry,” she mumbles. 

“S’ok,” you say glumly. “I knew it was a long shot, I just—“ and you’re mortified to find tears burning at your waterlines, “just thought I’d ask anyway. M’sorry.” You had intended to ask, and Joel knew. You just wanted to tell her so badly. 

You hug again before you leave, but you have to hide in the half bath when you get to Tommy and Maria’s to weep. 

Joel slips in after a few minutes. He wraps you up in his arms while you try to smother the sounds of your broken heart. 

“I know, darlin’,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. 

You tell Tommy and Maria after dinner. Tommy picks you up and swings you around in a hug, which makes Alé giggle. 

You go home first, exhausted. Joel tries to insist on going with you, but you know he needs some time with Tommy. As much as he’s trying to share Sarah with you, this is a whole different rodeo. 

The light is on in the shed when you get home. You hover on the porch, wobbling between your split instincts. In the end, you go to bed. 

Winter passes quietly. The layers help keep your secret, but you know it’ll be harder come spring. When Maria tells you that Ellie stopped by to wish Alé an early happy birthday because she wasn’t coming to the party, you cracked again. 

You pound on the door of the shed. She answers, guarded as always, and clearly surprised to find you there.

“Can I come in?” you blurt.

“Sure, yeah,” she says, and though she hesitates, she steps back to let you through. 

It’s not a frigid day, as you head into spring, but you stay layered up in your winter gear. Your bump isn’t big by any means, but it’s unmistakably there. It could be passed off as weight gain, but Ellie isn’t stupid, and you aren’t about to insult her by pretending. 

“Alé’s going to miss you at her party.” 

Ellie shuts the door of the shed, but hovers there, arms crossed. “She’s turning three. She won’t remember.”

“You’re her family; you should be there.”

“You want her to see us fighting?”

“Ellie, please. Just come over, come have dinner. We can talk. All three of us.”

“No,” she snaps. “If all you’re going to do when you come over is try to get me to talk to Joel, stop coming.”

“I just want our family together.”

“I’m not coming over there to get lectured and have you do nothing but side with him like always. You’re too damn scared of him leaving again that you never side with me. Guess what? I can leave, too. Get out.” 

“No, Ellie—”

“Just get out.”

“It’s not about him, just please give us a chance—”

She opens the door and stands there, not looking at you. 

You hesitate when you reach her, but she flinches back, so you just go home.

When Lulu is born, the sun rages at the apex of the horizon. Joel sends one of the neighbors for Alice, and busies himself getting everything ready while you pace the length of the upstairs hall and breathe through the pain. 

He’s filling the tub when he finds you with your elbows against the wall, head down, and teeth gritted. In an instant, he’s at your side, rubbing his hand over your lower back. 

“I’ve got you, darlin’,” he says, as he always does. “What do you need?”

“Just you,” you whimper. “Need you with me.” 

“Okay, sweetheart, I got ya.”

It’s far too soon to push, but he helps you into the tub anyway, hoping the cool water will help since you’re flushed and sweaty. He climbs in behind you, perched on the edge with arms wrapping around the top of your chest above your breasts. His lips press up and down your neck, and he takes a rag to wipe the sweat from your face. 

That’s how Alice finds you, and she nods at Joel approvingly before telling you she’ll be in and out to check on you. 

Between contractions, you slump back against Joel. Alice dropped water bottles off and he coaxes you to sip while you can. 

When the time comes, you’re exhausted. You can tell Alice is worried that you won’t have the strength. 

Joel isn’t, though. “You’re tough,” he murmurs. “You just hold onto me and do what you need to do.” 

It hurts. There’s no way around that. You push back against his chest, arching and screaming while he holds you tight. When each break comes, it’s too short. Your head flops back onto his shoulder, and he wipes you down with the cold rag again.

“You’re doing great. Fuckin’ incredible. Just a little more, baby, I promise.”

After, Joel helps you stand on shaking legs just long enough to get dry. Once you’re safely seated on the bed, feeling absolutely ridiculous in what was more or less a heavily lined cloth diaper, he helped you into one of his flannels, leaving it unbuttoned so you could nurse the baby. 

The day is a blur. You’re not sure what time she was born and you’re not sure how long it is before Tommy shows up. You’ve been mostly asleep, rousing when Alice brings the baby in to eat. She’s an absolute miracle, watching over little Luna while you and Joel sleep. 

“Getting rest today is critical to your success in the coming weeks,” she had said. 

You sleep even better once Tommy’s there. Maria stayed back with Alé, just for today. They were coming over first thing in the morning at your insistence. But Tommy came to help with the baby and stay the night once Alice went home, as you had done for them. 

It wasn’t that you didn’t trust Alice. But knowing Tommy had Luna made you feel safer than anyone, other than you and Joel. 

You might have slept better still if not for the specters haunting the room. 

The next time you wake, the sun has set. You can hear her cries from downstairs, and sure enough, Tommy brings her in moments later. 

“Look, Lulu, your mama is up and ready for you.”

You take her into your arms and get her latched before it registers. “What did you call her?”

“Lulu! Ain’t it sweet?”

No, you think, but he has his biggest, dopiest grin on. You settle on a noncommittal hum, which you would regret later when he takes it as enthusiasm. 

You go to say something, but it dies when it finally clicks that you’re alone in the bed. 

“Where’s Joel?” 

“He, uh—”

“Tommy.”

“He went to try to talk to Ellie. They all just got back.” He rubs the back of his neck. “Sorry, I tried to stop him—”

“No, it’s okay,” you say, closing your eyes tight for a moment. When you gently cradle Luna against your shoulder to burp her, you take a deep breath against her tiny, downy head. “He should. It’s good.”

“He didn’t need to leave you alone. I told him to wait until she got back.”

“I’m glad he didn’t. She deserves to know right away. Hell, we both tried to tell her before, but…” 

The silence sits like the river in the winter—a thin, false calm on the surface. After you latch Luna on the other side and get settled, Tommy sits on the bed beside you and lets you rest your head on his shoulder. 

That’s how Joel finds you when he gets back. Luna’s gone back to sleep, cradled in your arms, and Tommy’s thrown his arm around your shoulder while you cry. 

“It’s normal,” he had said. “That’s what Alice told us after Alé was born. Baby blues, she called ‘em. And I think you got a real reason to be sad, anyway.” 

You look up, blinking away stray tears, when Joel comes in the room. The look on his face tells you everything you need to know. 

“She took one look at me and took off with Dina. I tried to call out and tell her it was real important, but she wasn’t hearin’ it,” he says once he’s crossed the room to you. He presses a kiss to you and Luna’s foreheads. 

“What about me?” Tommy grumbles playfully, and Joel gives him a little kiss, too.

They both laugh. You wish you could. You think you would have. It’s right there, sitting at the bottom of your diaphragm. But it doesn’t rise, doesn’t bubble up. Instead, it goes cold and sinks down where you can’t reach. 

Joel and Tommy exchange a look. 

“What?” you say.

Joel just shakes his head and lifts Luna from your arms to place her in the crib. “Let’s get some sleep, sweetheart.”

“I’ll be just across the hall,” Tommy says, tipping his head and shutting the door quietly behind him. 

Joel slips under the covers and wraps you up in his arms. It eases a heavy sigh from your lungs, one that trembles on the air in its own wake. 

He kisses your head and tucks you in close, trailing off into soft snores. But you can’t follow. Your heavy eyes blink slow, that brief darkness the only barrier between your gaze and the crib.

Your chest is tight. It’s like icicles are forming inside your lungs. It’s a testament to how tired Joel is that he doesn’t wake when you slip out of his grasp. 

The soft knit socks from Mrs. Davies muffle your shuffle across the floor. You tug the throw pillow and crocheted blanket from the armchair. The crib sits low to the ground, so you lower yourself beside it, wrapped in the itchy pastel, and watch the rise and fall of her little chest. 

You don’t sleep.

*title from "Hey Brother" by Avicii

[glamrock-azbear]

My ✨Ruin✨ Experience (Story Spoilers, be forwarned)

Lobby

God damn Gregory, wasn’t enough to damage to animatronics you had to light the bitch ablaze too?

Ooo, HUD looking fine

Who needs a flashlight? I’ve got light up shoes!

Ah, yes, I remember breaking Chica’s ankles in this lobby…

Gregory kinda sounding sus

Okay, now super sus

Of course I’d have to go the long way around. If I were Gregory, I’d be at Roxy Raceway in half a minute (adjust crocs)

Cassie could’ve died counter: 1

Ladders are a really interesting addition… but the ability to look around concerns me

Vent… Tiny Music Man?

Cassie could’ve died counter: 2

Atrium Kitchen

This kitchen dirty af

Cassie could’ve died counter: 3

Chica there is no need—

Nevermind, she cool… for now

How’d this area get so messy? When the Pizzaplex crumbled there was nothing here

Welcome back to “Kids becoming technicians” Today’s guest: Cassie!

Two hands are better than one (Why didn’t you think of that Gregory?)

Backstage Area

Oh, hey, this looks familar… where’s Monty?

Oh sh—

Cassie could’ve died counter: 4

Found Monty BTW, me and the homies hate Monty now

Monty Golf

Lovely, 5 minutes in the Pizzaplex and not a single pizza, but I’m almost killed four times

I’m definitely down here with Monty, aren’t I?

Map Bot’s been rebranded, Map Bot will be missed 😔

I wish my virtual plushies were real

I refuse to believe an AR mask that should only let you see AR elements would allow someone to phase through objects

Must look super trippy to people observing from a different POV

“Look mom—” (Clips through wall)

Surprising the other animatronics are event still alive given it seems most charging stations have been decimated

Freddy’s probably still in Low Power Mode, unless Gregory jailbroke him

Gregory search history: How to jailbreak Freddy Fazbear

Of course the only surviving thing in all of Monty Golf would be the Monty Golf Arcade Game (I’m not telling you how long I played)

Can I take my chances with the electric door?

Something tells me a rabbit is behind all this…

So can Monty crawl through this area? I hope not, I’m not that fast

LSD jumpscare! Too bad I say “no” to drugs (takes off Vanni Mask)

Oh shit— Monty quiet af

What? I already deactivated the nodes so open up— Oh… I deactivated the Wet Floot Bot… oops

I don’t care that Monty crushed himself with a wood plank, I’m running and not looking back

The Daycare

So is Moon gonna be hunting me? Cause like none of the ending explicitly showed him being destoryed so—

Well there he is

Oh, he’s insane

And he’s Peter Pan

Can I get my free weapon now?

I’m surprised the Generators are still around

You know, if Gregory had a FazWrench, maybe he wouldn’t have to have gotten physical

So Eclipse is real? Check that off the list, now where’s Ballon Boy?

He really loves slamming them doors

One thing I’m grateful for is Moon not being a menace this time around

Theater

Ah shit— the night ticklers

Nu Uh— they give eye contact 💀

I thank the Basement for reminding me that the night ticklers are not to be trifled with

They killed Comedy Bot 😭

Vanny Cameo, she is literally getting more screentime than in SB here lol

Also damn, from another POV she was literally chasing Gregory in broad fluorescent light

Oh sh— he got m— wait it’s and Endo?

WTF happened?

Oh sh— oh it’s a giant Endo… welp, into the throat

Girl being dramatic for what

Bruh I can’t run—

Hm, so the Monty Carts still work… interesting

GASP— LORE!!!

Confirmed, Monty is the Band’s adopted child

Bonnie passed the torch fam— HE PASSED THE TORCH—

Oh yeah… the Pizzaplex is run down…

Monty Golf Catwalks

Cassie could’ve died counter: 5

And I’m back

Another Monty fight up here and Monty finna lose more than his bottom half this time

Navigating this area reminds me of something… (Insert ToTK Fire Temple)

Proof all comic endings were drawn by Gregory

Suddenly: Portal 2

The Pizzaplex is out to get Cassie— I’m convinced

Portals don’t transfer velocity do they?

Oh my—

Don’t rush me, Gregory, I’m doing the best I can (Misses another target)

“I’m sorry little one…” (Deactivates Wet Floor Bot)

Wait, if the Monty Cart I was riding in to get here derailed, then why isn’t this one?

Basement Kitchen

R. I. P. Pizzabot, he didn’t make it to Ruin

Chica’s Bakery

Chica in a silly, goofy mood 🤭

The cupcake does not approve of the vibe

Chica, honey, you’re being a bit too silly now

Ok, someone here is shitting battery acid all over the Pizzaplex and didn’t tell me, not cool dudes…

Cassie knows the drip must stay clean

Fire has done a number on Chica’s awareness

Chica’s Feeding Frenzy!

Server Room

Okay, so, where exactly am I?

Freddy Foreshadowing

So if I could take off the mask right now, what would I see.

How’s LSD Trap gonna be all big and do nothing

Roxy’s Salon

They really said “Feel free to play our arcade games! Just not princess quest…”

Oh shit— wait, so like after Roxy antagonized Gregory in the Afton Battle, she leaves and comes here?

Legit proof that when Roxy said “You have no friends” to Gregory, she meant it

This area is actually much better than its counterpart with all the staff bots

Yeah, “Gregory” saying not to get police or adults involved is sus

Absolutely valid reason to be mad but how would Roxy know Gregory took her eyes, what did she see him do it?

Apology accepted

She’s totally gonna save me later isn’t she

Sewers

Bruh, he’s a real gator now

You know, with how high I’ve seen that demon jump, I would’ve though jumping on a floating piece of debris would be nothing

Wait, so if he was in the water the whole time being a menace, then why did he die now?

Roxy Raceway

Ok but with this place in such a destroyed state, who’s to say I couldn’t just break the floor to the sinkhole?

Roxy!

Roxy no— I thought we were friends! 😭

Als what was that hitbox

Runaway go-kart—

Cassie could’ve died counter: 6

Bonnie Bowl

The Mystery Mix is gone 😫

So… we gonna work with Bonnie? That little show earlier feels like a sign 😏

Oop— Mini Music Man… looks like he’s gonna be here, but I mean I can step on one—

Oh… He joined a gang

And with amazing strategy I lure the gang away— and there’s still one here!

Ok fair, it’s more believable that it takes 3 to take down a child

Gasp— FredBonnie? In my Pizzaplex?!

They were sadistic for giving these robots feelings

Fazer Blast

Vanny’s hideout is wrecked

And they said “No Princess Quest!” again

What are the chances of me getting a FazerBlaster?

0 apparently…

There’s Daddy Deady

Wait— “Prototype?”

Mmm… so… yeah… that thing Freddy said about other Freddys… yeah… yikes

Ok but why tho—?

He got a present inside him

Yes, I tried to claim the present, didn’t work

Uh… wait, so he wasn’t real?

Oh lovely… the Mini Music Man’s back

Bruh, I was already out of the vent, how’d he kill me

Roxy Raceway Sinkhole

The Plushies show the future

That “Save me Cassie” sounding kinda skinwalker-y

Was there always a vent there?

Oh lord

Well to be fair, deactivating her seems to be the only real path, don’t think I can lift a forklift (I’m not forklift certified)

She probably can’t either (Roxy not looking too forklift certified either)

Ok, but, how did Roxy get pinned?

With all the destroyed locations, this area looks the least destroyed now

You know, with how weak the fence seemed, did we really need Monty’s claws?

How is the elevator back?

Holy shit, the legend— Candy Cadet!

Yep, that story checks out for potential skinwalker ending

Afton’s Lair

It be so wild to run into Afton’s corpse corpse here

Wonder if the Blob is still hanging around

Also now being in this side it’s actually strange that there’s working cameras and a flame button on the other side

So you’re telling me villainy is stronger the lower you go

Ooo— the boss fight—

Nevermind, he ded I guess

Haha! Now I’m forklift certified!

Gregory, I didn’t kill you with the Forklift did I?

Yep, definitely a skinwalker

Ooo— called it!

Also, hey, didn’t I deactivate you?

Cave

Yep, Fuck that

Ok but I’m still using the same walkie the fake was contacting me with so who’s to say there aren’t two fakes?

R. I. P. Roxy, hope you get to see Monty again

If I had my crocs in sports mode, I could total dust you

How do I know I can trust you (Goes opposite direction, find dead end) ok fair

Do I really have time for this?

So like where is Gregory contacting me from

Or even how?

Also another level to this place, what?

Oh, guess she just dead then

Oh fuck she’s fucking dead

So you’re telling me Chica and Eclipse are still alive

Y’all can’t do that— Roxy is too?

Wait, where’s Vanes/anny in all this mess?

[tomsretales]

Retales Retold - Day Twelve

-I met a man who looked like an alternate universe’s Stan Lee, wherein he opted to pursue professional golf rather than movie cameos

-A woman asked me to run her mother-in-law’s check with her husband’s driver’s license, and then got angry once it worked. I am not sure what outcome would have been a win for her.

-An old woman gave me a penny. Never has a sweeter gesture been made towards me. I very much want her to adopt me.

-Four people left all of their bags before leaving the store. They each returned. One person left their credit card. They never returned.

-I handed a woman a strip of stickers to give to her children. She pocketed them before her kids could even see them. How dare she hide my gift from my loyal subjects. Who does she think she is, their parent?

-I met my mortal enemy. A child with a deadly fear of stickers. His mother attempted to put one on him. He shrieked and tried to get away from it. He would not stop screaming until it was taken off of his body. I do not know who he thinks he is, but he will not get away with this disrespect.

-A kid spent the entirety of his mother’s transaction reminding her of how many toys he had and how few she had. He had a good point. I can think of no better marker of value, and I am glad he asserted his dominance in this way.

-I continue getting excited when a total comes out to a palindrome or a repeating number. I continue to get judged heavily for this excitement.

-One woman asked another, regarding an outfit, “Do you think that would be rocking for me?” It would be as rocking as your slang, which is to say, phenomenally.

-A man came through with, by far, the supreme facial hair of the day. He had a goatee and a mutton chop. A single mutton chop. The other side of his face was cleanly shaved. He is living proof that you can have the best of both worlds.

[sonichedgeblog]

In the free-to-play PC game 'SEGA Splash Golf', there are special Sonic-themed clubs. These are the Sonic & Tails clubs. Support us on Patreon

[goaliekisses]

Wait wait wait what’s this about Sidney and Turbo’s mom?

for @confused-castiel and @starshine-hockey-girl too:

back when he was still ours (</3) turbo went on an instalive with his mom and coach back home. his mom dropped the CUTEST details about him, including how his nickname is BRAN MUFFIN and how he is a sweeeeetheart with her. and then, it being mother’s day, he gave her the BEST present ever: a cameo by noted milf and milf fucker (description courtesy @goatisbetheres) sidney crosby, who he was out golfing with, and who mrs tanev, like her son, is in love with.

rink, bless her, archived all this:

sid with a special message for sophie

the gifs

more interview cuteness

[sidewayspeace444]

LONG ASK.

There is a reason 'the crazy fans' narrative was thrown around and reiterated by His brother Scott on a podcast that was strangely very eager to post on all their socials, repeatedly. Articles were written too. 👀

There is also a reason DM put out a narrative about his family not standing/liking her. Trying to keep some out of the controversy, maybe?

There is a reason why there was a Bermuda vacation where some of his friends were suspiciously present but not in the same place. Why they posted on a platform that they never used before. There is a reason why Justin dad made that Facebook post about the wedding and marriage , there is a reason Justin posted that invite and then deleted.

Notice how everyone of these people would keep the post up long enough for the fandom to pick it up, make some noice and then delete or go private. But claim harassment,repeatedly.

There is a reason those photos of him golfing with his buddies the 'same time period' the 'girls and gays' were on a 'hot girl summer' vacation,were released .The friend who posted, did what exactly after they were out there.

There is a reason she cropped out her hand. It created a buzz about a possible engagement ring and therefore being a bachelorette vacation with the girls including some of 'his' friends.

There is also a reason that on Saturday, there was a lot of commotion here. Alot of drama from one side especially. A PRIVATE AND EXCLUSIVE EVENT DOES NOT HAVE THIS MUCH ATTENTION esp where there were supposed NDAs and confiscated phones.

EVERYTHING HAS BEEN PLANNED FOR A WHILE.

We can argue about the validity of the wedding, whether it happened or not, whether they are married in real or it's just a PR stunt. The fact is the news is already out there that HIS FANS ARE CRAZY. HIS BROTHER WHOM THEY ARE VERY CLOSE SAID SO.No matter what evidence there is that something is fishy, it doesn't matter. The GP has already bought into it. People keep asking why the many articles; because the public NEEDS to buy into the wedding having happened. Who is being talked about the most, Alba! Why? Chris is already famous. So they never needed to sell her to his fans but to the GP.

The 'AVENGERS FRIENDS' that were 'present' are the ones who DO NOT have any current MARVEL WORK coming up; THOR, IRONMAN and HAWKEYE!!! We know how tightly Marvel runs it's ship. NO controversy.That Should have raised some eyebrows that Mackie and Seb were each in different places doing things that they could have easily cancelled for their buddies special day(???) Yet a few months ago they could make cameos in his film?Then the ADDITION OF SCARLET to the mix AFTER people started wondering why his closes film buddy of over 20yrs wasn't present.

SHE'S FAMOUS NOW!!

Now, IF ITS REAL, Chris showed himself to be the MAN HE REALLY IS, A HYPOCRITE. But the public doesn't care. They are already saying she needs security and what not. Turning her into a victim of his 'toxic fandom's. Funny enough, the ones rejoicing that 'they were right' were at the forefront of stalking, analysis of photos and all the crazy fan behaviour.

BUT GUESS WHO ARE THE TOXIC CRAZY FANS NOW: THE ONES WHO ACTUALLY HOPED HE WAS BETTER THAN ASSOCIATING WITH RACIST.

Whether it's a real marriage or a PR stunt, she got what this whole thing was about. EVERY SINGLE TIME, THERE WAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH HIM, SOMEHOW THERE WAS ALWAYS SOMEONE RIGHT HERE MAKING IT ABOUT HER.

EVERY SINGLE TIME.

I really hope that the people who loved him & being in the fandom and are hurting will heal. Those who ' were right' there is literally NO PRICE.

A lot of good points.

[ryunumber]

What about the Golfer from What the Golf (assuming the references count as crossovers)?

The Golfer does not have a Ryu Number/has a Ryu Number of 3.

(clarification below)

I'm under the impression that most of the references are to mechanics and aesthetics rather than specific characters.

I even checked the "IT'S SNOWTIME!" update to see if Santa made a cameo, and that doesn't seem to be the case.

There are a few levels involving portals that parody Portal, and to access those levels in the hub your ball does get transformed(?) into what is clearly meant to be read as a/the Companion Cube.

So as with Bubble, the Ryu Number comes down to how much of a "character" the Companion Cube is. Certainly, it's a completely inanimate object (probably) and there's at least explicitly two with more implied, but also treating it as a character is arguably the core of the Companion Cube in the first place and I believe this is the only instance of the Companion Cube in What the Golf?, so you can pick and choose depending on how strongly you feel about the bit.