#gonna go play zelda to do something fun

[herefortarlos]

Mother's Day always makes me feel off, and I never realize it until later in the day when I'm like, "why do I feel weird and not get as much joy from things I normally do?" I have a better relationship with my mother in law than my own mother, and I also see her close to 10 times a year to my mom's 1-2. Blah, I'll feel better tomorrow, it's just annoying now that I still feel this way about our relationship after all these years

[waywardsalt]

i made this a few months ago for a discord and i figured i might as well share it here too

[ruairy]

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[gender-euphowrya]

yay finished four swords adventure yayayay

[flowering-thought]

Ganon brainrot won in my heart so here we are-

Please know that this version of Ganaon is influenced by BOTW and TOTK as I never got the chance to play the older games and I'm hopefully going to purchase TOTK soon (I'm a broke bitch so I look at spoilers in envy and awe). Also note that due to the complicated timeline of the games I'm going to say that Zelda has traveled back maybe 10,000 years because as of right now there's no telling how to fit it into the timeline for sure-

Not gonna lie I wanna do more of this, maybe a part two?? Should I do a part two?? I want to do more but I didn't want to make it too long-

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four

WARNING - MINORS DNI

AFAB reader and reader is described as feminine and chubby/plus sized.

Yandere themes, obsessive behavior, hints at stalking

Yandere Ganondorf x Archeologist Reader

Zelda and Link. Two people you had come to know well as you had helped Link grow used to life in Hyrule after waking from his 100 year nap.

You were an assistant who occasionally helped Purah but also looked for things to research on your own when you could.

And when Link had saved the kingdom from Calamity Ganons grasp? You had grown close to Princess Zelda, who shared many interests with you. You two got along quite well, having fun and sharing research with each other and having long conversations about the past and the link between technological advancements and a declining birthrate.

And with Link? You appreciated the times when you could just relax. You would both sit by the fire and relax or you would tell him stories to pass the time.

Before Link had managed to defeat Calamity Ganon you would empathize with the struggle of not remembering his past, of the emotions that came with the weight of the world on his shoulders. And you would help him find ways to find happiness in the small things, even talking with him and having conversations to make things seem less stressful than they were.

So with Link and Zelda by your side with ruins of the ancient past? What would you have to worry about? Zelda is knowledgeable about ruins and Link is strong enough to help either of you if something were to happen.

But things don't always turn out how you want them to be huh?

Walking up to what looked to be a corpse deprived of light and dehydrated to the point it was practically a standing mummy, a hand attached to its chest and a spiral of light emitting from the contact.

And as though it were fate, that hand detached, a stone falling with it. A part of you felt as though you weren't supposed to be here, you took a step back, behind Zelda and Link, your eyes fixated on the mummified corpse.

As if you had walked into some tale of horror, the cracks of bones could be heard from the body, it slowly moving in what could only be described as terrifying.

Just as it opened its eyes Link blocked the first attack, and you grabbed Zelda's wrist, ready to run with her if need be. And the shattering of the master sword echoed through the chamber.

"The sword that seals the darkness? Such a fragile sword cannot defend you from me." He stated, a raspy voice speaking out.

"Zelda.. And you who carries that sword are Link." He continued.

The conversation did not last, another attack carried and both you and Zelda are knocked into the abyss. And even if it would be your death, you did not let go of Zelda, knowing that you'd rather be together in death should you die from that fall.

But all you saw was a burst of light before you inevitably passed out, your consciousness fully collapsing as the world around you changed.

And then there you were, in a field in Hyrule, both you and Zelda lain among the grass for a certain King and Queen to find you.

Zelda was the first to awaken to their voices, explaining who she was to them before they explained their own title.

And just before Zelda could gasp, you awoke. You held yourself as you woke up before fully awakening and looking around frantically for Zelda.

You didn't mind the strangers as you crawled over quickly to check for wounds, "Are you okay? You didn't get hurt?" You asked.

And upon realizing where you were, and looked upon by strangers, both you and Zelda explained what had happened to the young King and Queen as they brought you to the peak

Of course what followed was being brought to the founding kingdom of Hyrule, Rauru and Sonia treated Zelda like their daughter, smiling and making sure she was well fed.

They had claimed that both you and Zelda were distant relatives despite you saying you were not a part of the Hylian royal family. But they stated it would be better to claim that for now.

And while they treated Zelda like their child, when it came to you they were gentle as though you were someone they loved. You did not have powers like them and so they made sure you had a guard with you at all times.

Often times you would be found by the pair with Mineru, both of you enjoying different topics and you found immense enjoyment from learning everything that the Zonai technology could offer.

Sometimes you would actually fall asleep in Minerus office, and you could have sworn one time to hear Sonia and Rauru conversing as your head was supported by a lap and your hair pet gently. It was such a warm and gentle feeling so you eventually drifted back to sleep only to wake up in your chambers the next day.

And then, the one and only Gerudo King known as Ganondorf made his appearance.

Far too many times had you seen the depictions of a monstrous beast called Ganon, and upon hearing the name in another form you could feel shivers roll down your spine.

You stood next to Zelda, deciding to take your mind off of the King and look to his group, finding the differences in the attire of the past and future was fun to you rather than thinking about the anxiety that came with meeting Ganondorf.

And while you gazed at his group, Ganondorf had been staring at the stones for a time, noticing Zelda had one so he assumed that you would as well. And as soon as he noticed you did not have one he should have brought his gaze back to Rauru but he couldn't.

The way those robes fit on your figure, your soft looking features and that gaze of intelligence and warmth in your eyes had him nearly move his head to look right at you. But of course he knew better than to make his interest clear right in the throne room.

He couldn't keep his eyes off you, even when he and his group of warriors were escorted to different chambers to rest he had your face in mind. And before he was escorted to the separate nicer chamber he would stay in for his standing in the Gerudo tribe was the highest, he pulled two warriors aside and told them to keep an eye on you in secret, to learn more about you.

"And what kind of information on her would you like us to gather?" One asked, prepared for whatever her king would ask of them.

"Everything." He stated, turning to follow the Hylian maid who stood quite a bit away.

And so for an entire week, while observing many schedules of those who had the secret stone, he would try to find the places you tended to wander in.

He learned of the foods you prefered, how you spent a lot of your time either in the garden or the library, snacks such as fruit you often snacked on. He also found out the size of the robes you wore, getting a messenger to send that information back to the tribe to prepare you clothing. And he also tried his best to search into your orgins, but even most servants of the palace did not know where you came from.

It was frustrating that oftentimes you were with a member of the royal family or in places he couldn't get to without arising suspicion when it came to trying to get close to you.

Until finally, you were in the garden, only a single guard standing a couple of feet away as you sat in the grass and with a sketchbook open drew the different kinds of plants in front of you.

He found it beautiful. How your fresh flowed around you in the grass and your hunched form taking in the details of nature.

A part of him thought it suited you. But another thought how much better you would look smiling at him and waving him over.

But alas he had to make the first move.

So that's what he did, he stepped into the garden and made a light cough, the guard startling and immediately formed a stance while you turned to face what was only a pair of legs till you craned your head up to look at him.

You stayed completely still out of shock, till Ganondorf tilted his head a bit, wondering why you merely stared.

"Am I truly that shocking to see my lady?" He asked, a small smirk adorning his face. You nearly wanted to run but at the same time a part of you didn't want to create problems for Rauru or Sonia or even possibly Zelda so you decided to be neutral and scoot over a bit.

"Not as shocked as you would think, sit down and maybe I could see your face without needing to break my neck." You said, hoping that maybe he wouldn't be too interested so you wouldn't have to be too on edge.

But much to your surprise you heard a loud chuckle and next thing you knew had the King of the Gerudo sitting next to you in a garden of flowers.

You couldn't stand the awkward silence so you decided to form a conversation with him instead. "So how is your stay? I hope you're finding things enjoyable?" You ask, fumbling with the pages of your sketchbook, the notes written between the pages among illustrations and dried flowers and plants.

Ganondorf took in everything. How lovely your face looked up close, how tiny your hands were as you held that book in hand, and how your fingernails would get under a page to flip to another as you tried to make conversation.

He wanted you. He knew for certain then and there that he wanted you. It was love at first sight yes. But it wasn't the kind that he would throw away everything for until this point.

Now he understood the tales of foolish people throwing things they had worked hard for away for love. But it's a good thing Ganondorf is a greedy man. He'll have you first even if it means abandoning his first plan. He can always create another.

So as his mind processed these thoughts he gave a hum of confirmation before gazing down at you, "Do you know anything about the desert?" He asked. You would never know this was a conversation to prepare you for the harshness of the desert when he would eventually find a way to sweet talk his way into taking you there.

But unexpectedly you nodded and smiled, "Yes! While during the day it reaches its hottest point at noon, and its coolest point at midnight. But the sunsets and sunrises in the desert are breathtaking!" You started, smiling as you opened another page to some of the flora and fauna you've observed in the future.

"See I love how things can still manage to survive, it's so interesting how they form their own ways of survival and manage to thrive. Just like people do!" You stated.

"And how clear the sky looks at night when you're in the desert, it almost looks like an endless sea of stars. It does get cold at night but I've never been one to grow cold easily." You add, a bright smile on your face only keeping the man stunned in place.

How positive you were when he had only seen the negatives of his homeland. The vast desert is dry and harsh. He hated the Hylians who had taken for granted their habitable home and yet here he was, in love with a Hylian even before you would confess of your love for the desert.

You went on about how to build the most efficient homes, how staying near an oasis is the best move, and how white paint or tiles would help reflect the sun off the roofs. How different muds and rocks and soil can affect how to build a home there. And how you enjoyed the feeling of warm sand on your feet.

It took you at least an hour of talking to realize he had listened intently for a whole hour.

It left your face feeling hot and putting your book to cover your mouth and nose, hoping to cover up whatever blush had formed on your cheeks. "Sorry, here I am drawling on and talking your ear off." You muttered, avoiding eye contact but also realizing that looking at his well-toned body was a bigger mistake as you felt your heartbeat rise and then looked to the scenery to try and calm yourself down.

Ganondorf only chuckled, smiling as he set a hand on your head and gave your hair a little ruffle. "It's okay little Vai, I quite enjoy listening to you talk." He claims, getting up before looking down once more, "We should talk again." He adds.

And with that he walked off, leaving you slightly bewildered.

Unknown to you, that guard had reported back to Rauru and Sonia at the end of the day after making sure you were safe in your chambers.

The next day Rauru and Sonia would pull aside Zelda and Mineru while you were in one of the libraries researching.

"What do we do? Why on earth would he take an interest in Y/n?" Zelda asked, her hands held together in anxiety.

"He should have been targeting one of us. Someone who holds a secret stone. Y/n doesn't even have a stone!" She adds.

Mineru and Rauru sat silently in thought while Sonia put her hand over Zeldas, "Do not worry. I don't think he has the intention to hurt her." She claims, her calm voice carrying Zelda out of all the thoughts of you becoming hurt.

"But that doesn't mean he doesn't hold other intentions with her." Rauru says, looking slightly agitated as his gaze stays focused on the table.

"She wouldn't betray us. That much is certain. So if he doesn't seek to harm her or get information out of her, what could it be?" Mineru asks out loud, her question plaguing the thoughts of all four of them.

And they all knew only time could tell.

And unfortunately for them, Ganondorf would come to find you often, growing closer to you and making you feel comfortable around him. And due to that, coming up with a new plan to propose to his tribe and the warriors who followed him was easy.

He would take you as his wife. A surefire way to ensure a "peace treaty" between the Gerudo and Hylians. And your knowledge of the landscape and ways to improve their housing would prove useful for keeping his people safe, many warriors agreed with this plan as the longevity of their tribe mattered to them more than stealing a stone.

If they managed to strengthen their tribe with knowledge you could lend then they could form a better plan to take over Hyrule.

So with the support of his warriors, he asked to meet with the Hylian court, including you.

And it was tense. When you stepped into the hall, you could have sworn Sonia was on the edge of yelling and Rauru was bewildered. Zelda took notice of you and immediately brought you close to her and went closest to the thrones to keep you within reach.

You had made it late so you didn't know that Ganondorf had just announced his wish to marry you.

"Are you insane? You propose such a thing to keep the peace between our people?" Rauru asked, his voice commanding an answer from the brazen Gerudo King.

"But it is not unreasonable. I understand that Y/n is a distant relative yes? Not only is she of noble lineage she is also intelligent and capable of helping my tribe prosper. Would it not benefit both you and me? You would have my word of peace and know that your relative would be in capable hands and protected by my people as she would become one of us by wedding me, trying our people together." He concluded, looking straight at Rauru.

You were shocked at the information, never expecting to be proposed to by such a man. Yes, he seemed to be kind to you but how would you know he would keep his promise of peace? The history you read was different from this!

You felt overwhelmed as Rauru and Sonia went on about rejecting and Ganondorf would try to talk about the benefits. It took you a minute to collect yourself so you could speak.

"That's enough!" You yelled. You hated all the attention turning to you but this was your life. You were not going to allow anyone else to choose anything for you.

"Give me a couple of days. And I will reply to your proposal Ganondorf. Please allow me that." You stated. Rauru and Sonia wanted to object, and Zelda held onto your hand desperately.

Ganondorf smiled, giving a nod before speaking, "I hope you will give me good news soon my lady.".

After the meeting Rauru, Sonia, Zelda and Mineru profusely asked you to reconsider saying anything but no. That this was insane and that you don't know any of his intentions. It took at least an hour of their constant pestering for you to hole up in a library with snacks and comfort items.

You quite literally locked them out and spent your time reading to try and find any wisdom to help you.

Eventually you came across an old scroll, your body wrapped in a blanket and a few grapes in a bowl nearby while you read what this scroll had to say.

"Time is a complex device. One that has too many layers to have one conclusion. Some say time is final, that the past cannot be changed, and nor can the future. But some say that one single element can change that. The outcome is split into multiples and time divided. Should you find yourself at a crossroads and the future you envision challenged, take the chance for there is no telling if the future is sure. And if changed with a sure future, know that while things around you may change, you will not."

And with that you had decided.

You had bathed and gotten dressed and called a meeting to answer Ganondorfs request. And Rauru, Sonia, Zelda, and Mineru looked as anxious as can be.

And with a couple of words, fate was changed.

"I accept your proposal."

[ickyarson777]

Ooooh requests! I have one! I am dying for gamer boyfriend iii. Maybe playing games with him? Or just snuggling up with him, playing with his hair, while he slaughters digital zombies? XD Whatever you think!

GODS YES PLEASE

ahem anyway, of course love i can definitely do that for you! and thanks for the request! i hope it lives up to your expectations!!

content warnings: none!! just fluff and games today. tried to stay as gn with the reader as i could. only things used for them is 'love,' and 'lovely.'

notes before we start, this is about *not* about the actual people in the band, just the characters they’ve created on stage.

that being said, here you go! it's a bit short, wish it was longer but this was fun to write :)

Word count: 843

I curled up in bed, scrolling mindlessly through my phone, glancing every now and then at III, back facing me as he played his game. Since he’d downloaded Skyrim, he’d been playing it every chance he got. He talked a lot while playing, so I now had my own fair share of knowledge about the game.

“These damned draugr,” he’d mutter every now and then. “Fuck, dragon’s gonna eat my ass!” he’d groan as his character got snatched up. 

He was never one to scream angrily while playing, something I appreciated. He would, however, get very worked up, shaking me around and celebrating when he finally would pass a section of the game that was giving him trouble.

He’d lean over, ask if I saw how many times he’d died trying to pass that specific section, I’d tell him, laughing, ‘yes, I did see you die over and over, you sure you didn’t do it on purpose?’ He’d gasp in mock offense, ‘Seriously love? You think I’d willingly get fucked over by that shit over and over like that?’ then he’d lean in for a kiss, something to make up for the lack of focus on me, and get right back in. 

Tonight however, we played together. He’d recently bought a Nintendo Switch, and we’d spent the past couple nights staying up playing Mario Kart. We sat next to each other, leaning forward on our knees, deeply focused on the race. I’d hit him with a shell, he’d throw a banana peel. Each time I overtook him, or vice versa, the other would cry out in both frustration, laughter, or an attempt to rile the other up. Eventually after we’d played for a few hours, we’d lose count of the score and take a break to go get some snacks from the kitchen. After making our way back to the room, arms full of snacks and drinks, we’d lay back in the bed and he’d talk my ears off about anything and everything he could think of. 

“There’s a new Zelda game that came out, a sequel to Breath of the Wild! Supposed to have two whole new maps and shit,” he’d tell me, running his fingers through his long hair. “Can’t wait to play it.” 

I smile at him and yawn softly. 

“Getting tired, love? Or tired of losing Mario Kart,” he said with a stupid smirk. 

I scoff at his question, “You’d like to think I was losing wouldn’t you?”

He chuckles at me, “Of course I think that, ‘cause it's the truth.”

“Whatever,” I say , rolling my eyes. I lean back in the bed and slip under the covers. “Think I’m done for the night.”

He sighs dramatically, “Guess we’ll have to settle our score tomorrow then.”

“Mhmm,” I hum in agreement. I watch him as he picks the controller up again, and closes the game. He turns the tv down a bit, and opens Skyrim again. I watch through eyes fluttering, trying to stay awake a bit longer as he begins his in-game trek across the map, trying to reach new locations, every now and then stopping to fight some monster, creature or enemy in his path. Carefully, I nudge him with my foot and he glances back at me. 

“What’s up, love?” he asks.

I hold my arms out to him, wanting to cuddle up to him. He smiles at my gesture and crawls across the bed, leaning back against me, head on my chest, still facing the screen. I kiss the top of his head, and run my fingers through his hair, and listen to him talk. He’s always so loud, but now he mutters queitly to himself, perhaps trying to mind my tiredness, perhaps feeling his own tiredness start to take over. 

“Love you,” I murmur sleepily into his mess of red hair. 

“Love you too, lovely,” he mutters and then exclaims loudly, “Motherfucking dragons!”

“III,” I groan, having been snapped out of my almost sleep. 

He chuckles, “Sorry love.”

I smile, taking strands of his hair and braiding them carefully. “It’s ok,” I tell him. “What are you doing in the game?”

And then it begins again, his nonstop talk about the game. Eventually his accent gets thicker with sleep creeping into his voice, and I have no idea what he’s saying anymore. I drift off into my own slumber.

At some point, he’s gotten off the game and shifted to lie next to me, because the next morning, I wake up to him, arms lazily wrapped around me, mouth hanging wide open, soft snores excaping his mouth. I smile at his goofy expression, his messy hair tangles and spread over his pillow, over his face. The quiet moments with III are rare. Odd but not uncomfortable. 

I curl up next to him, and drift off to sleep again, knowing the moment we both wake up, its back to the games again.

‘Gonna need my rest if I’m gonna beat his ass at Mario Kart,’ is the last thing I think before drifting off again. 

---

how do you end stuff like this :')

anyway pls y'all give me more

[yanderelinkeduniverse]

Reader who makes plushies... That have literal bombs inside of them that they can throw on the battlefield

Imagine if one of Links accidentally sets it off

Jk jk, it’s just funny to see this ask when you have Klee from hit game Genshin Impact on pc, PlayStation, and mobile devices as your pfp.

Personally I actually really love the concept of characters with bombs that are hidden inside plush dolls, they’re always so fun and cute! Now as for a (y/n) with those dolls…

She is not gonna be using them as freely when the time comes.

At the start I think the Chain would actually be really chill with her primarily using bombs in combat, I mean as long as she can control where they go. In fact, they’d prefer her using bombs than using nothing at all since - and I mean this as politely as possible - if would not be good if they had member of the group basically be deadweight.

*side eyes canon (y/n) who is not a combatant in any capacity*

And in all fairness, I’m pretty sure everyone who’s played a Zelda game has accidentally blown themselves up with their own bombs at least one time. Realistically would that kind of injury be severe and heavily impact her relationship with the Chain? Of course, but since when have I stuck to realism?

(y/n) being a combatant from the get go would certainly impact the Chain’s view of her fighting later on when they start becoming obsessive, but I think they’d still go through a phase where they think (y/n) shouldn’t be using them at all when their concern for her safety reaches its peak.

I mean, if these guys can blow themselves up with their own bombs when those bombs are just a side item then what about when they’re someone’s main weapon? I heavily doubt this variant of the reader would be without some bandages from accidentally blowing herself up on occasion.

Those who become a little too paranoid for her safety, such as Four, Twilight, and probably Wild just from his own personal experiences accidentally setting off a remote bomb too close to himself or using a bomb arrow in the Eldin region, would argue that she’s safer without them than with them.

And while most of the others would be in agreement, the problem is…she’s had these bombs and this method of fighting since before she ever came to Hyrule. Who are they to say what she can and cannot do to defend herself with?

It’s a struggle between the overwhelming desire to keep her safe and the need to respect her as their superior, after all they are barely worthy to hold a candle to her.

So, a compromise is made.

They politely ask (y/n) if she can limit her bomb usage, perhaps using a bit of well meaning manipulation to say that their ears are more sensitive than hers and as such the sound of the bombs going off hurts their ears.

They don’t want to limit their darling, don’t want her to feel caged and like her wings are being clipped, but they also want her to be safe above all else.

And if there were ever a time when (y/n)’s style of combat proved to be more detrimental to her well-being than not then they wouldn’t hesitate to take those bombs away, even if she protests.

On a slightly happier note, the plushies themselves are something the Chain would coo over a lot!

Some might even try to give her inspiration for new ones to make, even if they aren’t bombs(they’d be happier if they weren’t bombs tbh). I’m sure Hyrule has a bunch of dolls that look like himself saved up and Wild’s got pictures of Riju’s sand seals, those would be adorable!

But yeah, a reader who utilizes bombs in combat would challenge the Chain’s dual desires to both respect (y/n) as their ultimate authority(not that she knows) and keep her safe. But as long as she properly uses them, then she’ll be fine.

For now.

[sporeclan]

is it alright if i make stimboards for some of your cats? its totally okay if not!!

OMG yes of course!! I'd love to see what you come up with if you end up making something!!! <3<3<3

@looking-at-other-ppls-stuff

YAYY I'm glad to see a fellow Zelda enjoyer in the wild!! :D I've been a huge fan of the series since I was a kid, and played every game on release since Skyward Sword! I think the only games I've yet to play at least once is proobably the Oracle games, but the gameboy's sound chip gives me a migraine so I think I'm better off anyhow :') Glad you could get some joy out of my blatant nerdiness though haha! <3

Honestly, it really depends on what motivates you! My main drive to keep drawing is seeing all the lovely responses to what happens to my little group of silly kitties <3 But I do have a few tips;

- I personally like to only play about 5 moons ahead at a time, so that you can play a little between a couple pages. It keeps it feeling fresh for me

- Don't feel obligated to post on a schedule, and if you do decide to do so, be kind and lenient to yourself about it. Stressing yourself out about making the comic is just gonna ruin the fun of it.

- Try not to spend too much time perfecting every little detail of a page. At least for me, spending too much time on a single piece tends to leave me frustrated and bored.

- It's also important to follow general art advice; remembering to take breaks, stretch, get some fresh air and drink some water really does do wonders for mood!

I think that's about it?? Good luck with your clan if you decide to go for it though!! <3

[ganondoodle]

so i sort of half accidentally did the end of totk on monday, i had over 130 hours and slightly over 50% of the game done and did the second to last fight with 3 hearts left and no way to heal but fairies after i gave up multiple times thinking the game might be trying to force me to fight a certain way xD

so im still playing it and am aiming for the 100% but i dont think theres gonna be much more to discover story wise the game is really fun and has a lot of detail and love put into it that you can really see, the music is fantastic as well, some of the characters get more love which is great but the story is … well disappointing but not surprising, especially in its treatment of ganondorf, who still feels incredibly flat as a character, which was to be expected but also … you cant fault people (including me) for faintly hoping theyd do something more interesting tho i will say the end fight is really well done and i cant think of a way to top that in terms of epicness xD

anyway, some unfiltered thoughts and opinions in no particular order (keep in mind i know its viddy game logic uwu but still some things can really destroy the immersion; and also i like to think too hard about the stuff i care about so take this with a grain of salt, i never expected the story to be world changing but i want to remind you that i am criticizing it bc i love this franchise)

--what the hell happened to all the sheikah tech?? botws story gets mentioned a few times but never is it mentioned what happened to all the tons of tech lying around everywhere? if they dismantled the towers for purah to build her new ones around i guess thats fine, but all the srhines? the titans ??? THE SHRINE OF LIFE??? its all gone, esepcially the shrine of life irks me bc the cave is still there and its still called by its bame but its nothing but a cave in a vague shape of how the buidling was it absolutely drives me crazy bc its so dumb?? even if it all stopped working for some reason why would you dismantled it all and even then where did the material go?? why would you dismanlted an neitre building like that anyway?? if you want to have a cave there just have it be half collapsed, if all sheikah tech has gotten useless just leave it there but overgrown?? and why is all of purahs tech still working then? zelda doesnt seem to care about it anymore either even tho shes been so obsessed with it for so long? the titans how would you even MOVE them?? you CANNOT tell me that all this tech that survived tens of thousands of years just went poof within a few years; and sometimes it even feels .. insulting? like you know how much robelo cared for cherry and now shes tiny and just serves as a way to buy fotos for your collection? the fact that the shrine of life is fully gone but the cave is vaguely shaped like its interior and where the bed used to be is a healing pool of water too? like idk if im just insane but it feels like 'haha lol remember what used to be here? get it? the water heals you like the bed in the shrine of life and lol there was the stairs HAHA remember? its gone now for no reason.lmao.' to be clear i like having some mysteries and all but that is just …. so weird? when i discovered the shrine of life i was so taken aback i didnt know what to do, it really broke my immersion, by alot even, it just makes it feel even more like all sheikah tech was replaced by much cooler (tm) sonau tech

--what happend to the sonau people? we only know that rauru and mineru are the last two remaining ones back then but … what made them die out like that? this is by far not as important to me as the issue with the sheikah tech but still feels like a point that could have been mentioned

--as much as i like the open world and how free you are to do things your own way but, regardign the dragon tears i think they should have been locked more behind story progression, i got all of them rather early on and it made it a lil frustrating to play through the other story parts bc you know the truth but you cant tell anyone and everyone around you is acting like a dumbass running after fake zelda while the real one is floating around above you, and i know thats partly my fault for getting them all so early but it still felt like some could have been more well hidden or locked or something since theres no hint to when it would fit to do which one; i expecpted impa to travel to each one but it seemed like she appeared on only a few here and there- additionally i fully expected her to be more important, that she would have an actual involment trying to help zelda undragonfy but that turned out to be very wrong lmao

--why are the enemies in the underground mining sonanium? ganondorf didnt seem itnerested at all in any of their tech, only in the mystery stones (only one too, he didnt seem to want any more of them either) they dont use it for anything? at least the ones on the surface collected stuff they could eat or use for fighting?

--did mineru really build herself a robot body just to fight ganondorf for a bit and then leave? as the last of the sonau, even tho long dead too, why wouldnt she tell their history and knowledge or something and instead if just helping a lil in the fight and then go poof (i half expected purah to be a surprise sage since the spirit one would have fit her i think)

--the zelda being the white dragon plot point lost alot of weight to me when it was just .. resolved like that in the end, i know she spent thousands of years like that and all but it seemed like a much heavier decision that later on felt a little less flat after fidning mineru even tho i felt like i didnt care at all at first bc of the way i found out ,and i half expected there to be an extra mission to try and find her soul again since that apparently gets lost when you do the whole dragon thing, but in the end that wasnt a problem at all, two ghosts and link (somehow naked again) blasting her with some magic(tm) and boom shes back and well and fine woohoo it was a non problem after all i didnt expect her to stay dragon since that would mean the end of the legend of zelda basically, but still it took away alot of the weight of her decision to me? like i get undragonfying her before the end would be difficult since you can get material off of her but still i hoped for something other than boom it resolved itself and i thoguht and worried about it for nothing honestly a post game or even another title where the main focus wouldnt be desstroying yet anyother one note evilest guy of them all and isntead the goal is to bring zeldas soul back and undragon her or something would have been a cool idea tbh tho i know its unrealistic

--did ganondorf think turning himself into a dragon would end the world somehow? did he mean the lil evil goo clouds he spit at you in the last fight to end the world? and how come that he was vunerable to fight? none of the other dragons could be hurt and for an 'immortal' dragon he sure went down fast also how did the stone get back on his forehead? you need to eat it to dragonfy yourself and zelda doesnt have her stone out either (i know viddy games logic but still) (on another note, gan shoving half his arm in his own mouth felt really cursed to watch)

--into WHAT exactly wanted gan to reshape the world into?? only destroying it is such a non reason if you want to rule it? theres nothing left to rule if you kill everything in it?? he just gonna play cards with some bokblins or what -i really wanted to fight ganondorf on the surface, not in his lil miasma incubation cave again :(

--so …. why he evil? are we really doing the and WHOOP suddendnly theres the eviliest guy of the world and he hates your guts for some reason thing again? no tension with the gerudo that seemed to follow him in the lil cutscene we see and the ones that went on raurus side? no actual origin? does he have ANYONE to talk to normally or did he just surround himself by monsters all the time or abadon everyone that once followed him once he got his power up?? you can make any design or fight as good as it can possibly be but in the end its still gonna feel hollow if the character has no character besides evil even the fake zelda wasnt actually him and just a lil puppet made of miasma so even him fucking with people is a little less interesting when he was actually just marinading in his lil goop cave, and the lil hand wink he gives you at phase two can only do so much lmao

--ganondorf is cool and all, but tbh he feels more like the evil miasma goop guy than anything else --why are the old sonau ruins in hyrule so different from the rest? like we know now that they arent actually a civilization from the sky alone but were even in the underground too, and all of their ruins have that blocky white style to it, the supposedly sonau ruins in phirone for example, albeit they share the dragon theme the style on the outside is very much different? and the ancient ruins from the other races dont match it either --are the sheikah descendants of the mixing of sonau and hylians? the white hair and third eye theme would fit to the only alive sonaus we see having white hair (fur?), the literal third eye and their affinity to techonology similar to the sheikah, and zelda having both light and time powers would make sense if its yet another descendant thing, but that would mean zelda was at least part sheikah .. (ngl white haired zelda might look pretty neat actually) but also … it didnt seem like sonia and rauru have been together all that long and no mention or even hint to them having children … which given that both of them die would be an important thing to mention no?

--why cant you do anything with the dongos but feed them????????? i wanna ride them :(

--where is kashiwa????????????????? they talk about him like hes a lost legend

--putting in all the amiibo stuff is cool and annoying at the same time, i spent 5 hours fighting my way throguh the underground to follow treasure maps and found 3 nigh identcal link hats from past games in a row, then two other parts of similar, then two aiimbo weapons and then jsut yesterday another one from a bigger quest that i expected more of; getting the armor sets of past games is cool if you want them but if i did i would have just gotten the amiibos back in botw, my inevntory already feels super bloated with all the new and old armor sets and now the amiibo stuff as well even tho i have like .. half of it all atm (and dont go and argue 'oh so complaining about more content for free???' yes. yes i am.)

--whats with this game and making link almost naked? rauru saving you from death? naked. (annoying) survival shrines? naked. weird teleport to alternate ghost dimension to blast zelda with magic power tm to solve all problems? naked.

--(added in edit) im glad dorephan didnt die!! i fully expected him to have died offscreen or something to make way for everyones favorite fish

--(added in edit) so are definitely other lands besides hyrule if yona came from there, also lol

--the story feels, espeically once you see the last cutscene, very …. uncomfortable to me if dare to think about it more than just taking everythign as its said to you, like … the oh so perfect descednants of the gods(what) marry a normal hylian lady and sourround themselves with perfetly obedient faceless servants of the other races so the perfect and good kingdom tm is born and oh suddendly theres an evil brown man (makign him grey doesnt change the implications, if anything, it makes it worse bc they wont even stand for it and instead are trying to hide it behind uuuuh no no its fine hes blue actally kinda way) from the desert that attacks the perfect good kingdom and king, then he swears alliance to them only to betray and murder da queen right away to get his hands on a super power the perfect and good king held and would have never never used it in a bad way nono and now they need to defend it by all means and at the end woohoo zelda has now again the perfect kingdom with no opposition except the yiga who are (as much as i love them) mostly played for laughs or .. well, evil(tm) as epic and cool the dragon fight was, zelda being the slim tiny white/gold/blue dragon and ganondorf being the evil spiky big black and red dragon and them literally being called white/black dragon feels like wow they arent even trying to hide the black and white storytelling huh (i know its a design trope to the bad be black(color) and the good anything else and spiky vs round and soft blah blah but that doesnt make it any better .. maybe even worse? idk)

the way nintendy was keeping stuff a secret and hinting around so much made me feel like it would finally be a little more nuanced and then it turned out to be even flatter than before and all that secrecy(?) was only to keep dragon zelda plotpoint a secret, something that was resolved no problem in the end anyway (i didnt need zelda to stay dragon but .. it all just lost so much weight the way it was done at the end)

-- (added in edit) master koga is the best character and no one can beat him, the most joy i felt was seeing him again and i am not joking, i wish i could talk to him normally tho without him being able to see through my yiga disguise :( im so glad he didnt die tho bc if he actually went to gan he would 100% be dead within seconds

--(added in edit2) i forgot to mention but was just reminded that link getting his arm back felt super weird too, so really everything that meant major changes got reversed basically ... coool ...back to status quo i guess, couldnt he if he wasnt missing it at least have it be discolored somehow? or scarred? any reminder? zelda too even, could she also have some sort of scar or similar due to her transformation ??

--(added in edit2) so where did the mystery stones even come from? gans and zeldas are gone after dragonfying i guess so ...what?

so in summary, im not eloquent enough to properly analyse all the problematic/questionable stuff and put it into the right words, but these are my random thoughts just spilled out, theres gonna be things i missed, forgot, or gonna think about later, maybe ill add it maybe not

again take it with a grain of salt, the game is still one of the most fun games i have ever played, my problems with it lie majorly in the story, its still very much worth playing!

[hollysoda]

Okay so I know that totk turned one year old a couple of days ago but I was away for the weekend and didn’t get a chance to post something about it. Now I’m home again, I think I wanna just put some thoughts down

Firstly, I still love totk. It was a really fun game and had just as much fun playing through it complete blind as I did playing botw with only a loose knowledge of the game. In fact, I enjoyed it more than botw. Maybe it was because I knew more about Zelda than what I did back in September 2022 when I first played botw, or maybe it was because I could see the improvements they made when it came to dungeons and overall exploration. For at least six months totk was my favourite zelda game. Now, a year on, it isn’t.

I think on reflection totk is a very flawed game. While it is technically genius, story-wise it’s incredibly weak, possibly the weakest in the entire franchise. Here are a few points worth mentioning:

Why bother bringing back Ganondorf if he isn’t going to have any real motive? Is there a reason why he’s fighting with Rauru and seeking his own secret stone, or is he just doing it for funsies? Part of the reason why Wind Waker Ganondorf is so good is because he has a strong and clear motive. Without any motive, totk Ganondorf just feels like an enemy rather than a main antagonist

The main thing that drives forward a story is a theme to take away from it. Breath of the Wild’s theme was exploration and lost memories, Skyward Sword’s theme was loyalty and/or devotion, but it’s hard to tell what totk’s theme is. Sacrifice could be the outstanding one, seeing as both Zelda and Rauru make crucial sacrifices for the sake of Hyrule, but where else is it seen in the story? Totk just tries too many things, and having a clear theme would just help to solidify things

For a game that was supposed to solve the mystery of who the Zonai were it sure did a poor job at doing so. I absolutely adore the Zonai and in my opinion Rauru and Mineru’s designs as some of the coolest in the entire franchise but my god. Their lore is so underdeveloped it hurts. We know the bare minimum about their civilisation and culture. We still don’t know why they died off, why they built the labyrinths (and by extension who the Lord of dragons/owls/boars are), why they have secret stones in the first place, why is the Temple of Time in the sky when it was originally on the ground and most importantly why is draconification a forbidden act. If you’re gonna imply that the three dragons introduced in botw were once people then tell us!! Totk deserved a dlc that could explain all of this and not leave us in the unknown

Saying that the Sheikah technology just “disappeared” is an absolutely awful way of saying “uh yeah we never thought about that”. That’s some god awful world-building and planning on the developers behalf. Even if they just said that after the Calamity it lost its magic and then parts of it were repurposed for new technology, like the Skyview towers, it would be so much more believable. The Divine Beasts should have at least been in the game somewhere, perhaps in the depths. The lack of Sheikah tech makes the game feel so disjointed from botw, and makes totk feel as though it’s only a sequel because it has the same characters in it

The ending of the game just doesn’t sit right with me. Why bother having Mineru beg Zelda not to swallow her secret stone if in the end she would be able to turn back into a human. I understand the developers want a happy ending but at least let there be consequences. Let Zelda’s memory be a bit hazy or give her dragon features like many artists have done and let Link permanently be an amputee

Also the Ancient Hero angers me. I’ve got no problems with him not being a hylian because honestly it makes it wayy more interesting knowing that not every hero was hylian, but just explain why. If he’s some sort of Zonai, why doesn’t he look like Rauru and Mineru? Is he some sort of hybrid or a different breed of Zonai? And why does the tapestry depict him as a hylian if he’s not? Seems like an oversight more than anything

I think I should stop there because this post is getting long but uh TL;DR totk could have been a phenomenal game if they spent more time planning out the storyline and fleshing out lore. I get it, the game was originally botw dlc, but after so many delays we at least deserved a better story.

I do still love this game though Tears of the Dragon goes HARD

[errorwarblesrr]

do you like totk or botw better?

In short: Yes, I like botw better.

Here are my reasons, though!

I know a lot of people view it as the better experience, which is completely subjective and valid if you do and like it better, but I just view botw as being better in almost every way.

I will give it to totk. The dungeons have a lot better atmosphere. The game has some extremely high highs with the build-up to the wind temple, the whole great sky island segment, and the final boss is a much better fight (though dark beast ganon has a better theme song imo).

Other than that, I prefer botw. Totk has a much grander story, but it's completely mishandled. You can argue that totk has a great story but has poor execution, and to me, execution plays a big role in what makes a story good. You can have good ideas bit it all falls apart if they aren't executed well which ends up making the story bad. It's not that totk has a good story with poor execution, it has good ideas but the bad execution leads to a poorly told story. (I hope that makes sense). Botw has less of a story and is more like a set of events. Botw has history and backstory that is told more organically. Link has amnesia so he slowly regains some of his memories of the past with some people trying to help fill him in. It feels more real...in a weird fantasy way. I guess totk is similar with how we see Zelda's memories, but not really? It's weird to explain. Everything 100 years ago is felt in present day botw while in totk most of those things don't really matter as it happened so long ago. Things only start to resurge because Zelda wanted to investigate under the castle. Totk also has twists like a story. Idk if this is making sense but that's how I feel on their stories. There was just not much botw could mess up on story wise as the way it was presented.

Gameplay wise I can not lie totk is technical marvel with the zonai tech. That's the most impressive thing about it. Tbh building contraptions isn't my thing though, it takes too long to make and experiment with a machine when I can just do whatever that machine was gonna do much faster. I see why people have a lot of fun with it though, it just isn't my thing. One thing I HATE in totk though is the amount of menuing I have to do. Elemental arrows had a serious downgrade. Yeah it's cool to fuse stuff to arrows, but not when I have to do it to ever single individual arrow and if I want to try something new I have to scroll past 50 other items in a single line. It's just tedious. If I want to use a good weapon I have to go to the menu, drop an item, and menu again to fuse it to a weapon that will still break. Item breaking is still an issue but it's more annoying and the weapons no longer look cool. Totk has some cool abilities, but idk I'd trade them all for remote bombs lmao. I hate going through caves, especially early game, and having to deal with the rock walls where they want me to fuse a rock to a stick 10 times to get through one cave. There's just a lot of little things gameplay wise that bug me. They doubled down on botws gameplay issues and added some more annoying ones. I don't even have to mention the sages abilities, that's a whole mess.

On the topic of gameplay, botw just has the better world. Idc, exploring that world for the first time is an unforgettable experience. Totks main world is too similar so the magic is gone. The sky and depths are also unimpressive and repetitive. Botw also has the benefit on how the word felt so lonely yet alive. Everything had a purpose or a story. The world has a history. And totk just doesn't have that. Outside of the upheaval, totk doesn't really build on botws world that much. I was hoping to see if they would've added new towns or see how they'd rebuild hyrule, but they really didn't do that. We only got lookout landing, which doesn't really count as a town, and a bunch of building stuff lying around which is cool I guess. Hateno has a school and Terry Town expanded a little, but with the estimate of about 5 years since botw it makes you wonder...what have these people been doing? We can theoretically build Terry Town in one day. There could be new towns.

Totk is a sequel that doesn't really acknowledge it's predecessor which is so odd. Botw stands on its own and is an overall more cohesive experience. Everything in the world feels purposefully crafted for that world while totk just slaps things on top of it with not much thought. Botw has some amazing world building while for totk it's either "the Zonai did it" or has some contradictory world building. For example, the old sages lifted up the sky islands so that Link would be protected from Ganondorf shenanigans, but then other sky islands suggest how they've been around long before Rauru since young Zonai used to train in them or something. There is also how Zelda says Link never leaves her side, but people she interacts with on an almost daily basis do not recognize him and how even treat as if he doesn't know some facts about her. So either she is overexaggerating by a lot and/or lying in her own diary or that people in hyrule have the collective memory of a rock. There's also Zelda supposedly never giving Link the champions leathers yet as a gift, but we see him wearing it in the beginning. Idk there's more contradictories, but I haven't experienced this for botw??? Totk is so disconnected and disjointed in comparison.

I'm trying to be vague but there's a lot to say, I'm sorry. I really was enjoying this game at the beginning but the more I played the more I noticed or saw things that bugged me and just kept adding up and up on each other. Botw was never like this for me. It's just more cohesive and I like that. There are so many other things I haven't brought up like the repetitive cutscenes, or missing characters/characters that SHOULD know Link but don't (namely Bolson and Hestu). But this post is long. I can't keep complaining about this game. Botw really is that one of a kind experience, and totk tries to replicate it but worse. Botw had a vine that totk lacks. You feel so alone, but you meet knew people and make friends. You build connections as you learn about the past and help those around you. There is no story, you're just a person going through the motions and exploring the vast world around you. Totk can't replace that for me. I'm the main character playing a side role in a disjointed world where not much makes sense. Everything is similar in all the wrong ways.

And most important of all, they took away Link's fun dialogue and personality now he really is bland asf and used to defend that he wasn't.

[waywardsalt]

tag rant but man i fuckin hate the new direction for loz

[gaarakun]

stay in for the night

charlie slimecicle x fem!reader

warnings: just fluff, i don’t think it needs a warning but you can let me know if i should add something

be kind pls, english isn’t my first language

—

You and charlie always shared stay at home hobbies, if you could stay with each other inside of your home, then that’s what you will do. He’s very domestic, he prefers to stay inside with you.

Your favorite nights consists on him, sitting in the couch while he plays a game he is hyperfixating with at the moment, the current game being the new Zelda, while you lay your legs on top of his lap, crocheting your new project.

Most people would consider you lame for staying in all nights, but did you need to go out and party if you had the most perfect men waiting for you at home?z. His arms open every time you need some cuddles, making you laugh with every silly thing he says and that beautiful smile while he looks at you.

Tonight was one of those nights. Charlie was comfortably sitting in the couch looking so cuddly while wearing a random shirt and some pants, his messy hair resting on his forehead. So you decide to join your very buff and huggable boyfriend.

You grab your new crochet project and water bottle and sit beside him, taking the liberty to put your legs in his lap. He looks at you and smiles.

“Hey, love. Are you joining me?” he says as he pauses the game and looks at you with the biggest smile, he moves his hand to your jaw and places a sweet and quick kiss to your lips.

“Yeah, you just look so comfy and cuddly so I decided to join” you giggle as you move your head to kiss his hand that was holding your face. “I hope you don’t mind”

“Mm, of course I don’t mind. I love spending time with you, specially when you come here and sit in my lap while you watch me play” He says and drags you so your sitting fully on his lap.

He kisses your forehead and wraps his arms around you, trapping you inside his arms while he holds the controller in his hands. He starts the game again. You move a little bit to get comfy in his lap and then cuddle up to Charlie while resting your back in his buff chest. You grab your crochet project and start working on it.

“What are you working on, baby?” Charlie asks.

“I’m doing a plushie! it’s a little kitty” you smile proudly at your own work.

“Oh my god, I’m excited to see it finished” he says paying attention to your work.

You giggle at his excitement. “Once I’m done, I’ll crochet you a slimecicle plushie” you look up at him, to watch his reaction.

He has the biggest smile ever and hugs you tight while he places little kisses to your face. “I will love you even more if you do. I swear I’ll put it in my set up and everything”.

“Then I’m absolutely gonna crochet it” you say as you take his cheek and kiss him passionately. “I didn’t know you like my work that much”

“What do you mean? I love what you do and I love even more watching you having so much fun while making it”

You smile happily and continue working on your project. He continues playing and snuggles closer to you. A few hours later, you decide to stop the project for today and continue tomorrow. At this point of the night you just cuddle up into Charlie and watch him play.

He murmurs something and sighs because he can’t get a puzzle right. So you giggle at him, watching him struggle and say such incoherent things when he fails.

“Why are you laughing at me? You like watching your perfect, handsome, boyfriend and love of your life struggling?” he reproaches as you laugh even more.

“It’s just funny how you keep repeating it but you can’t get it right” you giggle as your caress his arm, trying to make him feel better. “I’ll tell you what. If you get it right in the next 2 tries, I’ll give you all the kisses you want but if you don’t get it right then you will have to take all of my turns to clean the dishes for a week. What do you say?”

He smiles and offers his hand to seal the deal. “It’s a deal” he says. You shake his hand and he immediately starts trying to get the puzzle right but he fails the first time. “I have one more chance and I’ll do it! I promise” he prepares himself.

You give him a little kiss on the cheek for good luck and he starts the puzzle, actually making it this time.

“Yes! You owe me so much kisses now, I will kiss those lips until they fall” he laughs and starts peppering kisses all over your face and hugging you tight with his arms so you can’t move too much, making you giggle.

“No, I don’t want my lips to come off, please!” you joke as you try to break off from his strong arms and you actually escape from him, as he chases you while laughing.

“Come here, you promised me those kisses!” he tries to get you as you move around the living room. If a stranger were to see you, he would have thought you two were crazy, running around the couch.

Suddenly he jumps across the couch and grabs you as he wraps his arms around you tightly. “Yes! I told you I was going to get you!” he says between giggles as he leaves tons of kisses in your face and lips as you laugh and squirm in his arms.

He picks you up and throws you to the big and comfortable couch, as he gets on top of you and places a lot more kisses, making you laugh like crazy.

“Okay, okay, I give up!” you say the moment your tummy starts hurting from laughing so much.

“I win” he lays down besides you as he get your hair out of your face that was there from all the squirming and running.

“Can you stop being such a leo for a moment?” you joke making him chuckle.

You both calm yourself and cuddle, falling into a comfortable silence. You start getting sleepy but Charlie continues his game as he is laying down with you and cuddling.

The relaxed atmosphere just makes you drift off to sleep in your boyfriend’s arms. After some minutes he notices you fell asleep. He pauses the game for a moment to check up on you, noticing you’re not deeply asleep, so he resumes his game and plays until you completely fall asleep. He turns off the tv and the console to take you into his arms and carry you to your shared bed. You wrap your arms around his neck, lean your head in his shoulder and wrap your legs around his waist in your sleep.

Once he takes you to your shared room, he lays you down softly, making sure you are comfortable, he wraps you around the blankets and goes to his side of the bed to lay down with you, the light movement when he sits in the bed makes you awake softly. He hushes you to sleep, as he cuddles into you, making sure you’re comfortable.

He places a small and light kiss to your forehead. “I love you” he whispers the moment his lips separate from your forehead.

Since you’re slightly awake, you shift a little bit to cuddle into him closer. “I love you too” you say with that cute and sleepy voice that Charlie loves. You completely fall asleep, feeling safe and loved in his arms.

He caresses your hair softly and admire your perfect face smushed up against his chest, as he tries to fall asleep. A few minutes later, you’re both asleep, in the tranquility of your home.

[haunted-xander]

It's been some time since Monaca started living with them and Nagito revealing his... new hand. A couple of weeks ago, Makoto and Kyoko had visited them to inform them about the Neo World Program being under testing. Apparently, the Neo World Program is supposed to undo Junko's brainwashing and completely rehabilitate the Remnants of Despair.

Chiaki is a bit wary, simulations like that tend to have something go wrong with them, but despite that, she is excited. If there's a chance to save her old classmates and friends, she will take it, no matter the risk.

Right now, though, she has a more pressing matter.

Getting Nagito's chain collar off. She noticed he's been trying to scratch his neck a lot lately, but couldn't because of the collar. Unfortunately, Monaca lost the key during Bing Bang Monokuma's attack and picking it proved difficult, even for Izuru.

Didn't help that Nagito resisted their attempts at getting it off. Guess that's Ultimate Despair for you... They take pleasure in things they hate. It must be so uncomfortable. He'll probably get markings on his neck from all that chafing...

Everyone's sitting on the couch playing together. Today, Chiaki had set up her Gamecube and had started up Legend of Zelda: Four Swords Adventures. A fun 4-player game they can all enjoy. Nagito was having a bit of trouble, on account of only having one functioning hand, but was doing well enough. His Ultimate Luck may be to thank for that, or maybe he's just that good.

Unfortunately, their play session was interrupted by a notification coming from Chiaki's phone. "...Oh, it's work. I need to send in some reports, so we'll need to pause the game for a bit." In reply, Monaca started whining, "But we just got to the booooooss! Monaca doesn't want to stop playing. Big sis should ignore any Future Foundation work and continue playing with Monaca and Big Bro! ...Oh, and Mr. Stalker, I guess."

"Sorry, but I can't do that. I've been putting these reports off for a while already, so I really need to deliver them. Munakata-kun's gonna be mad if I put it off anymore." Chiaki put her controller on the table and stood up. As Monaca tried to grab at her skirt, Nagito gently laid his hand on the little girl's shoulder. "Now, now Monaca-san, don't be so impatient. Let's play another game for a little bit while Nanami-san does her work, alright? She unfortunately can't abandon her duty forever."

"Hmmm... Okay! But Mr. Stalker isn't allowed to play with us." Monaca brightened up instantly and made to swap over to the Switch. Chiaki didn't get to hear what they ended up deciding on, but could tell Monaca was happy with whatever she started playing.

She walked into the isolated corner she's fashioned into a make-shift office, and sat down at her desk to get started on those reports. After a few minutes had passed, she heard a knock on the door and steady, even steps heading to check who it was. Faintly hearing the door opening, she deciding to let Izuru handle it and focused back on the reports in front of her.

At least she planned to. "Hey! Nanami-san, Nanami-san! I've got great news! ...Ah, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to interrupt you while working! I'll just, uh, get back to you later...?" Makoto shouted as he burst into her office, almost completely covering up the sound of Kyoko dicussing something with Izuru and Nagito. ...With the occasional snide comment from Monaca. "No, it's alright. What did you come here for? Did something happen?"

"Yes! Or, um, kinda...? Nothing really 'happened' per say but... Anyway, it's good! Really good!"

"...Well, what is it then?" Chiaki was honestly getting a bit impatient, eager to get back to writing the reports so she can finally be done with them. "Um, I told you we were working on a way to undo Enoshima-san's brainwashing, right?"

"Yeah, the Neo World Program, right?"

"Yeah! It's finally operational! We can get started on rehabilitation now! Kirigiri-san and I have already made plans with Togami-kun to have the islands and the pods readied for the 15 of them! We've got boats and everything ready to sail them all over too! I don't know how no one has caught wind of it yet if I'm being honest, but everything's going super well!" His excited rambling almost managed to lose her with everything he was saying, but she somehow managed to keep up. Somehow, I doubt it's just that they haven't been caught. Someone must have noticed it by now, it's far too big an operation for no one to notice. Which means someone is trying to help cover it up. ...Could it be...?

"...Hey hey, slow down a bit. Islands? boats? Where exactly are you taking them, Naegi-kun?" Chiaki had a few questions regarding the plan, but decided to point out what she deemed most pressing. "Oh, sorry! I totally forgot to mention that! The server for the Neo World Program is located in a small archipelago in the Pacific Ocean consisting of six islands called 'Jabberwock Island'. Apparently, the Future Foundation reconstructed an old administration building on the central island into a base so they could rebuild the island." Why do you say that like you're reading it off a tourist guide? "...I'm not sure why they didn't go throught with that plan, but now we can use it to help the Remnants recover!"

"I see. And I guess you're planning on the Remnants continuing to live on the island after rehabilitation too?"

"Um, well, that's the plan, yeah! They... can't exactly just wander around freely, even after being freed of the brainwashing. The Future Foundation -no, not just the Future Foundation, the whole world wouldn't like it if we just... let them go. As much as I hate it, they did kill a lot of people. Rehabilitation can't undo all their crimes."

"...Yeah, I get that. They'll serve their time living on the island. ...Much preferable to prison, I'd say. Maybe... after enough time, they can get the opportunity to visit the rest of the world. Maybe they can help restore the world in exchange for getting to leave the island occasionally."

"...I hope we can get to that point. I'm just worried about if the Future Foundation will ever come to accept that they're rehabilitated, even long after the fact. These guys are a real stubborn sort, you know?" Makoto let out a sheepish laugh, trying to cheer himself up. "...Hey hey, are you going to stay on the island too?"

"Huh?"

"I mean, you'd need someone to watch over their recovery after the program... probably. Some of the Remnants don't seem to be doing so well, physically speaking. I ran into Owari-san during patrol some time ago and she... looked like she hadn't eaten a thing in weeks. And everyone has heard about the ones who traded their body parts for Enoshima-san's." Nagito's hand was a prime example of one such instance, but even that was far from the most disturbing one. ...Tsumiki-san will need to be kept a close eye on. Out of everyyone, her health will probably be the worst...

"Oh, yeah, you've got a point... I was considering it, but there's no way we'd get away with being gone so long. Of course, we'll take some time to watch over them after they first wake up from the program! But..."

Chiaki understood what he meant. As the leader of the 14th division, and the fact the Future Foundation already knows he has plans of some sort regarding the Remnants of Despair, there is no way he could just up an disappear. That said...

"Then, I'll do it."

[demdozeguys]

Strap in for a long one, because it's time for:

REVIEWING AND RANKING EVERY GAME I GOT FROM THE STEAM SUMMER SALE

ramblings under the cut:

UNRANKED: ULTRA STREET FIGHTER IV

okay look I know I said I'd be ranking all of these but putting a fighting game up against six linear-progression single-player adventure type games feels a bit unfair.

as for whether I liked it: yeah it's alright. it's street fighter, it's fun. only time will tell how much my brother and I will get out of it, but I'm already feeling like I don't like it quite as much as 5. how much of that is due to 4 not having Urien is anyone's guess.

#6: CROW COUNTRY

I'm gonna be honest I didn't fuck with this game nearly as much as I thought I would.

maybe it's because I'm new to the genre. maybe it's because I've been spoiled by autosave. or maybe it's just because I can't aim to save my life. but losing upwards of 20 minutes of progress every time some creature I failed to hit or juke tagged me one too many times got frustrating pretty fast.

I didn't hate my time with Crow Country. the environments are gorgeous, the story kept me intrigued, and filling out my mental list of "oh shit I can go here now"s was still satisfying. if this is your thing don't let me dissuade you, I just wasn't built for it.

#5: KAMIKO

Kamiko is decent fun, but there's not really a whole lot to say about it. It's a short and sweet zelda-esque game where the meat of the playtime comes from trying to go through it as fast as possible, and as you'll see later I happen to enjoy going fast. enjoyable, but not super meaty. if you like routing and time management give it a shot.

#4: PONY ISLAND

Alright, this is where we get into the Good Shit.

Pony Island is a game in which you play a game called Pony Island made by The Devil From The Bible. every few minutes there's some new weird meta setpiece to keep you on your toes, plus the code puzzles and pony sections between are solid fun on their own. it's a great time. and if you're interested, there's a pretty solid reward for getting 100%.

if I had to dock points, it didn't seem to have much in the way of replayability, but that's not a huge dealbreaker. I really need to get my hands on Inscryption now.....

#3: SPOOKY'S JUMPSCARE MANSION REMASTERED

I'm not normally big on horror but Spooky's kept me coming back. despite going into it already knowing what all the specimens did, they managed to keep me on the edge of my seat because you never know when they're going to show up. combine the legitimate building terror with an offbeat and self-aware sense of humor and you have a damn fun package.

it's worth noting that as of writing this, I've only completed the main story. the DLC campaigns probably won't affect the final ranking? but I have a feeling they'll make me appreciate the game more.

#2: PEPPER GRINDER

Pepper Grinder is fucking awesome.

The level design is great, the soundtrack rips, and just moving around with the core gimmick of "what if you could drill and then jump out" is so good. I just really wish there was more of it.

I was able to get all the major in-level collectibles and reach the end in under 3 hours. the bulk of my playtime came from the time trials, which do manage to hit a sweet spot of encouraging you to push yourself without requiring CBT perfection. demolishing the gold medal on the final boss took me well over an hour's worth of attempts and may have been one of the most viscerally satisfying challenges I've ever completed in a game.

Pepper Grinder is really, really cool. But if it had another world's worth of levels it would be even cooler.

#1: CHICORY: A COLORFUL TALE

Man. I fucking love Chicory.

The vibes are immacculate. The story made me really feel for these gay little animals. The soundtrack is delightful (Lena Raine, everybody!). The exploration is rewarding. The painting mechanics made me actively want to go back to areas I'd already been to and recolor them better than I did originally, which is like. not something most games do. You can even draw penises everywhere if you want. There's something for everybody.

I'm having a hard time putting down exactly what made me fall head over heels for this game as much as I did - especially when I wasn't expecting to going into it. Maybe it was just in the right place at the right time. No matter how it cheated the system, Chicory is easily the best game I picked up.

And that's that. this was my first time doing something like this (especially on tumblr) so it felt kinda weird but idk lmk if I planted any seeds in your brain

[thegeminisage]

So You Want To Get Into The Legend of Zelda But Don't Know Where To Start: A Masterpost

this discussion came up in my zelda stream the other week so i thought since i'm a longtime fan and Extremely Normal i'd make a guide to people who are just now getting into the series because of breath of the wild/tears of the kingdom. there's a lot of games and it can be confusing on how they're connected, where to start, etc. this is going to be an EXTREMELY LONG guide, sorry - if you want a short version you can check out this post i wrote a long time ago.

The Timeline

so the good news is that the zelda games were published non-linearly, meaning that the game that takes place first chronologically was not necessarily the first one ever made. they didn't even HAVE a timeline until like 2011 or so. for that reason, with a few exceptions*, you can jump in pretty much wherever you like. most zelda games (or pairs of games*) are spaced hundreds or sometimes even thousands of years apart, featuring different links and zeldas and other characters, which means you don't need to know anything about zelda to start with any game. the series is deliberately made so that each title works perfectly well as a stand-alone game.

*the exception is that a very few games have direct sequels - for example, majora's mask takes places just a few years after ocarina of time, phantom hourglass takes place after wind waker, etc. luckily even with these games, you can still jump in without having played their other half and have a good time without getting lost.

The Introduction

that said, the zelda series is extremely eclectic. while they all have the undercurrent of "zeldaness" that makes them special they can be as different as night and day. 2D or 3D, happy or edgy, mainline or spinoff, story-heavy or story-light...which game is best for you to start with will depend heavily on your own personal tastes.

the short version: if you haven't yet, i recommend most people new to zelda start with either ocarina of time or breath of the wild. these games, released almost 20 years apart, were both completely revolutionary and redefined their genres (or, in oot's case, the entire industry). they usually have something to offer everyone and they're both games with standout tutorial sections that teach new players the lay of the land with ease. there's a reason most people start with one of these two - which one you prefer depends on whether you can enjoy an older game or would prefer something newer. for brand-new gamers, i might also recommend skyward sword because of how much the game holds your hand - it's frustrating for more experienced players, but for those just getting started in gaming in general it might actually work out well.

the long version: OBVIOUSLY i'm going to do a game-by-game write-up. sue me. if you're looking for information on a particular title, ctrl+f it. otherwise, settle in. time for a cut!

The Games

how to read this guide:

which games: most of them. this guide is long enough as it is, so i'm not doing a whole ass writeup for REALLY niche spin-offs like the tingle games, the crossbow training game, the bs releases, or the much-loathed cdi games, even if i think the crossbow game ruled. i will do hyrule warriors and cadence of hyrule because they're properly fleshed out games. ports and remakes are gonna get grouped together with the originals to save time and space. if there's something missing from this list you want to know about, the wikipedia article with the complete list of zelda media is right here and it's a genuinely fascinating read. have fun!!

release date: self-explanatory. using japanese release dates for overall accuracy, and the games are in order of release date as well, but you DO NOT need to play them in that order - that would be madness

console: original console, other consoles it's available on (not including the weird experimental stuff like satellaview, c'mon), and whether or not it is available for switch. why? the switch is the latest console, how many new fans got into zelda, and because of nso, it will be the easiest access point for people who can't or don't want to buy new consoles/emulate on pc. nso stands for "nintendo switch online," which is a the online membership you can purchase from nintendo. the basic plan allows, among other things, emulation nes, snes, and gameboy titles. the expansion pack tier adds emulation of n64, sega genesis, and gameboy advance titles. i think nso is a good service with great value if you can afford it - read about it here. virtual console is just buying the game, usually for a low price, and downloading it digitally to play on newer consoles, but most of those services have been shut down now. there's also backwards compatibility - the wii u can play wii games, the wii can play gcn games, the original ds (and ds lite) can play gameboy advance games, and the gameboy advance (and gameboy sp) can play gameboy and gameboy color games. the snes can also play gameboy and gameboy color games with the super gameboy, and the gcn can play gameboy, gameboy color, and gameboy advanced games with the gameboy player.

average playtime: this comes from howlongtobeat.com - if it seems off, take it up with them

mainline game: this just means whether or not this game was a "big entry" into the series - typically, mainline games are devloped by nintendo directly (though nintendo develops side-games too), and they have a higher budget and a longer dev time, but this doesn't necessarily mean they're better - some mainline games are received more poorly than the ones that aren't mainline. also sometimes people argue about which games count as mainline games so take it with a grain of salt

sequel: whether or not a game is directly tied to another game in the series - again, even if they are tied to another game, you don't HAVE to play that other game first

story-heavy: how many cutscenes/cinematics/character stuff is going on

edge level: how much grimdark and serious stuff is present and how "on-screen" it is. zelda games are infamous for a careful balance of cheerful and dark stuff in all games, but some games are more forthright about the darker elements than others. i prefer those, but you may prefer it the other way!

the premise/the good/the bad/the verdict: the actual write-up. unfortunately not even i have played/finished every zelda game (someday...), so for the games i can't speak on personally, i will make a note on it so you can seek a second opinion.

now let's get started!

The Legend of Zelda (1986)

original console: nintendo entertainment system

available on switch: yes, with nso (basic)

also available on: gcn & gba (ports), gcn (gameboy player), wii, wii u, 3ds (virtual console), original ds (backwards compatibility), pc (emulation)

average playtime: 8-10 hours

mainline game: yes

sequel: no

story-heavy: no - in fact, for games in this era, reading the instruction manual is a must if you want story content; because the file size had to stay small, story content that couldn't fit was often added to manual instead

edge level: low

the premise: explore hyrule to find and put together eight fragments of the triforce so you can rescue princess zelda from ganon, prince of darkness.

the good: a solid introduction to the series, you can waste HOURS exploring this game, which is kind of a miracle considering the whole thing is only 128kb. (if you enjoy emulation, any computer will be able to play this. like doom, it could probably run on a microwave.) it's charming enough for when it was made and the music is all catchy as hell, even though it contains only a dozen or so tracks. this game is pretty light on puzzles, but most of the fun comes from the exploration - in fact, it was this game that the dev team for botw drew inspiration from when they were trying to figure out how to "reinvent" the zelda series - what they actually did was take it back to its roots.

the bad: well, it's that you can waste HOURS exploring in this game. back when it was released, the intent was to get players talking to one another - you would get one piece of the map explored and fine one secret, your friend would find and explore a different piece and find other secrets, and you'd trade! many people even had their own hand-drawn maps put together one screen at a time. since it really isn't possible to play this way today unless you get a bunch of friends together to do it blind, you almost certainly need a map or guide for this game when you're doing it on your own, otherwise you're never going to get anywhere, because there aren't usually indications that certain walls are bombable or bushes burnable.

the verdict: if you're a veteran who liked alttp (particularly the combat), if you have a high tolerance for aged games, or if you wanna see what this series looked like during its humble beginnings, you will like this game. if you're looking for a more guided experience or something with a lot of cinematics or puzzle-solving, pass. don't forget to read the manual!

Zelda II: The Adventure of Link (1987)

original console: nintendo entertainment system

available on switch: yes, with nso (basic)

also available on: gcn & gba (ports), gcn (gameboy player), wii, wii u, 3ds (virtual console), original ds (backwards compatibility), pc (emulation)

average playtime: 11 hours

mainline game: yes

sequel: yes, to the original legend of zelda

story-heavy: no - ditto for story being in the manual, like with the original loz

edge level: low

the premise: dive into six ancient palaces to place crystals there to wake princess zelda from an era long gone, who has been sleeping for hundreds of years. avoid being caught by ganon's minions, who want to use link's blood to revive their master ganon.

the good: because this game began life as an independent title which eventually got zelda-fied, it's quite different from most games in the series. it has side-scrolling combat and rpg elements. the soundtrack is very catchy, and this game also introduces dark link, an extremely cool popular doppelganger of our beloved hero. the map is HUGE in comparison to the original so there's tons more to explore here.

the bad: this game is HARD. not, "challenging," like, "bordering on impossible." i've never beaten it. i got just a couple of dungeons in and i was so miserable i had to give it up. even playing the "special edition" on nso (which is with all the unlockable upgrades to make it easier), it's a fucking slog. that's it! that's the only flaw.

the verdict: even with all its good qualities, even with how fresh it feels, it's so damn frustrating that only gluttons for punishment and very unique souls will truly find joy here. if you do decide to brave it, remember to read the instruction manual.

A Link to the Past (1991)

original console: super nintendo entertainment system

available on switch: yes, with nso (basic)

also available on: gba (port), gcn (gameboy player), wii, wii u, 3ds (virtual console), original ds (backwards compatibility), pc (emulation)

average playtime: 15-17 hours

mainline game: yes

sequel: no

story-heavy: medium. this was the first game to actually HAVE a proper story with named characters and extended dialogue. it wouldn't be considered story-heavy by today's standards, though.

edge level: medium, but like, on the high end of medium

the premise: one stormy night, link and his uncle receive a telepathic message from zelda begging for aid. link's uncle goes out into danger and doesn't return, so it's up to lik to go rescue her in his stead. from there you'll have to explore hyrule to locate the master sword, and explore the mysterious golden land behind the seal of the seven wise men to locate their missing descendants.

the good: alttp set the blueprint for the rest of the series - we finally have our first dungeon-crawler with proper puzzles, real dialogue from zelda, named bad guys, a huge array of funky items, and jammin' tunes still used in the games today (hyrule castle anyone?). plus, link has pink hair! the opening to this game is utterly iconic in every way, and traverse through not one but TWO world maps that overlay one another makes exploration even more exciting.

the bad: truly, no complaints here. it does require some patience. it's a little aged, and it's always possible to get lost without a guide, but so is it true for every game with a big overworld like zelda's.

the verdict: again, this game isn't story-heavy by today's standards, but back then it was more story than we'd ever gotten from a zelda game. as long as you don't go in expecting it to have an rpg kind of story, you'll probably enjoy it. if you don't like 2D zelda combat or need shiny graphics to keep your attention, give it a pass.

Link's Awakening (1993, 2019)

original console: gameboy/gameboy color, and a switch-exclusive remake

available on switch: yes - you can play the original with nso (basic) or the switch-exclusive remake

also available on: snes (super gameboy), gcn (gameboy player), gba, original ds (backwards compatibility), 3ds (virtual console), switch (remake), pc (emulation of any version)

average playtime: 14-19 hours for the original, 14-21 hours for the remake

mainline game: yes for the original, no for the remake, technically

sequel: technically a sequel to a link to the past, but they truly have nothing to do with each other

story-heavy: medium - similar story style to a link to the past. smaller cast and less overall dialogue, but more character work on marin specifically

edge level: usually pretty low, but in the rare moments when it jumps out it REALLY jumps out

the premise: while sailing, link becomes shipwrecked, washes up on shore of a remote place called koholint island, and is rescued by a girl named marin. with his boat in pieces, he has to go on a bittersweet adventure exploring the island and getting to know his rescuer in order to wake a mysterious being known as the windfish so he can go home.

the good: a tiny yet vast map, foreboding dungeons (hello, face shrine), a strange and quirky world that's impossible not to love with a small but charming cast to match (though, of course, the real stand-out character is marin), fun minigames, and a soundtrack that only got better in the remake. this game has it all! the story will surprise you by leaving you weeping at the end. there's not a huge difference to the gameplay between the original and the remake - it's mostly a graphical update, though they did add some side content.

the bad: it's one of those games that's different from the rest of the zelda series, which means it's not for everyone - there's no zelda, no ganondorf, no hyrule. also, getting the best ending is absolutely painstaking.

the verdict: what a wonderful game! the story is sparse but rewarding. if you don't like 2D zeldas, story-light games, or don't want to cry through the credits, you can give it a pass - but everyone else should love it.

Ocarina of Time (1998, 2011)

original console: nintendo 64, and a 3ds-exclusive remake

available on switch: yes, with nso (expansion pack)

also available on: gcn (port), wii, wii u (virtual console), 3ds (remake), pc (fan-port or emulation of either version)

average playtime: 25-40 hours

mainline game: yes

sequel: no

story-heavy: yes, medium-high. it wouldn't impress by today's standards but back then it WAS the standard

edge level: medium-high. it's horrifying in some respects, but overall very wistful and bittersweet

the premise: link, the local outcast, is ousted from his idyllic home after tragedy strikes in the form of ganondorf murdering his forest's guardian spirit. from there you'll explore hyrule to open an ancient doorway, and go on a time-traveling adventure in a last-ditch attempt to prevent a terrible future and heal a broken world that didn't always want you.

the good: what can i possibly say about ocarina of time that hasn't already been said? critically acclaimed as the best game of all time when it was made and still 25 years later (with only breath of the wild threatening to unseat it), this game is everything. this is the game that taught me to love stories, to love gaming, to love zelda. the world is full of secrets and places to explore, there's a kind of dual-overworld thing happening the way there was in alttp, there's a lot of collectibles and sidequests and TONS of minigames, there's a huge cast of characters with real depth, you can RIDE A HORSE, and the quite literal coming-of-age story has actual plot twists that affect the gameplay. this game defined the official timeline for zelda (massive spoilers at the link), it defined the series itself, it defined the genre and even the industry - games everywhere are still using concepts introduced (or made popular) here, like targeting enemies, context-sensitive buttons, dynamic soundtracks, and day-night cycles.

the bad: one of the dungeons is a shitty goddamn motherfucking royal pain in the ass. you know what i'm talking about. unless you don't, in which case i'm sorry. maybe it's less horrible in master mode, i don't know. also, like, it's not that the game has aged poorly, it's still a solid adventure, but it HAS aged. since basically every game you've ever played has emulated oot with stuff like lock-on targeting, these features won't feel as revolutionary and special to a new player today as they did to new players in 1998. that's not bad, but it has caused some people to get excited to look into the hype, pop the game in, and then go "wait, i don't get it."

the verdict: unless you absolutely cannot deal with playing a 25yo game, pick this up - for the historical value, if nothing else. i cannot more highly recommend any game that ever existed than i do this one. that said, for people who are new to GAMES IN GENERAL, it may not feel as intuitive as it did to new players in 1998, because speak a slightly different language now. new gamers should definitely still play this, but they should either use a guide or consider not making it their very first game. more experienced gamers should still be fine making this their first zelda game.

bonus verdict: as for which console to play it on - the 3ds version has a lot of quality of life adjustments, including gyroscopic controls and a master mode (gcn version also has master mode), and the graphical improvement is absolutely astounding...but it's on a teeny-tiny little screen. i think the best way to play ocarina of time, if you're able to, is to emulate the 3ds version with the fanmade 4k upgrade. of course, this requires a good pc, emulation skills, and a properly connected controller (i haven't done it yet myself) - so don't feel bad playing anyway you can access it.

Majora's Mask (2000, 2015)

original console: nintendo 64, and a 3ds-exclusive remake

available on switch: yes, with nso (expansion pack)

also available on: gcn (port), wii, wii u (virtual console), 3ds (remake), pc (emulation)

average playtime: 20-38 hours

mainline game: yes

sequel: yes, it's a direct sequel to oot. the opening may be a little confusing if you haven't played it but otherwise you're fine

story-heavy: yes, VERY. the character-work alone is unparalleled even by modern standards

edge level: EXTREMELY HIGH. this is without a doubt the darkest and most haunting game in the series

the premise: link, trying to escape his problems back home, gets thrown into an unfamiliar world where the moon is going to fall and destroy everything in only three days. with the help of multiple forms (link can shift into a deku, goron, or zora), and time travel, link relives the same three days over and over again, exploring clock town and the lands around it, and getting to know its people, so he can find a way to help everyone and prevent the oncoming apocalypse.

the good: holy cast of characters, batman! as with every zelda game, there is exploration and dungeon-crawling, and these are phenomenal here - of particular note is how the use of 4 different forms plays into puzzle-solving - but the real meat of this game comes from its incredible cast. near the beginning of the game you are given a journal, in which to note the schedules and habits of each and every resident of termina as you learn them. you play the same three days over and over, so while the clock is always ticking, there's an infinite time to get to know them. each character reacts to the upcoming armageddon differently: some are resigned, some are frightened, some are brave, and some are in denial. (notably, one minor character who appears brave crumbles in the final hours, begging not to die.) who these people are and the sorrows they carry around with them to the end of the world define this game and make it like no other.

the bad: look, it's a game about an upcoming apocalypse. you're on the sinking titanic and the clock counts down every precious second and no matter what you do there will ALWAYS be that time limit, which not everyone likes. it's stressful, and it can be sad and tragic, even upsetting at times, which is kind of a requirement for the powerful catharsis it also offers. it's very different to the usual zeldas - no zelda or ganondorf or hyrule - which also isn't everyone's bag. it's also a huge timesink - you really miss a lot of the point if you don't 100% it or at least get all of the masks, which takes a long time and a guide (although it is fun as hell the whole time).

the verdict: some people really hate the time limit and find it imposing. i mostly don't have a problem with it - sometimes i have to race to finish a task before i run out of time so i HAVE time to travel back before i get blown to bits, but without this mechanic, the game wouldn't work at all. famously, this game was made in only one year (hence the reused assets), so the pressure the devs felt really came out in their work. i think it's a fucking masterpiece, but it is a game about death, among other things, so if you need a feel-good title this one probably isn't your stop. that said, the incredibly powerful cast makes this game timeless - if not for the graphics you'd hardly know it's aged at all. even newer gamers should enjoy this one, but use a guide! for a game this complex it's more important to find everything than it is to do it blind.

bonus verdict: while the graphical improvements on the 3ds are wonderful, and the added fishing minigame is great, i mostly preferred the controls of the original. new players may not notice the difference, though!

Oracles of Ages & Oracle of Seasons (2001)

original console: gameboy color

available on switch: not at the time of writing, but nintendo has confirmed it is coming to nso (basic)

also available on: snes (super gameboy), gcn (gameboy player), gba, original ds (backwards compatibility), 3ds (virtual console), pc (emulation)

average playtime: 16-25 for oracle of ages, 15-21 for oracle of seasons, leading to about 31-46 hours total

mainline game: no

sequel: not linked to any other games in the series, but they're technically both sequels to each othjer - more below

story-heavy: no, about medium-low

edge level: low

the premise: link hears the triforce calling out to him, and when he investigates, is thrown into one of two words, depending on which game you're playing. these two games stand alone, but they can also be linked via a code so that your playthrough on one can be transferred over to the other (like golden sun, if you've ever played those games). you can choose which game to play first. at the end of your playthrough, you can get a code, which can then be entered on the other game - complete both and you get a secret special grand finale. somewhat like pokemon games, the games complement each other in their differences, thoguh the differences here are much more drastic - they have different overworlds and dungeons, a slightly different set of items, and a different way of interacting with the world (by either traveling through the ages or by changing the season). oracle of ages is focused on puzzle-solving, while oracle of seasons is focused on combat and action.

the good: what a dense and detailed little adventure these games are! with a double of everything from items sets to overworlds, there's a ton to do. the worlds have a ton of variety and can feel endless at times. and since they were built on (i think) the link's awakening engine, gameplaywise it's kind of like getting to play a really good sequel to that game for the first time...twice. the lore is fun, the lands are fun, there's a couple of unforgettable tracks i still listen to. since you can play the games in either order, there's a good bit of REplayability involved, because hardcore fans will want to experience it both ways - leading to two playthroughs of each game, meaning four total playthroughs, for up to a whopping total of 92 hours of gameplay. talk about bang for your buck!

the bad: the codes are a real pain in the ass to work with, and you really can't get by without them. not only is it essential for moving your file from one game to the other, but you can also use them to get special items from one file to another. it's SO EASY to enter these codes in wrong and SO TEDIOUS to have to check them character by character. here's hoping the nso version has a better way (though i'm not holding my breath).

the verdict: an absolute must for any 2d zelda fan. first-time players, i HIGHLY recommending playing ages first. there's an important side-character in ages whose story gets resolved in seasons, but not if you play seasons first. of course, if you really like the games a lot, you can always start over and play them in the other order for different cutscenes.

Wind Waker (2002)

original console: gamecube

available on switch: no :(

also available on: wii u (hd port), pc (emulation)

average playtime: 25-60 hours

mainline game: yes

sequel: technically, this is one POSSIBLE sequel to ocarina of time (which splintered the timeline, leading to multiple possible branching paths), though it takes place hundreds of years later. it has the same ganondorf from that game, but you should understand everything just fine whether you've played oot or not.

story-heavy: yes

edge level: medium-low - there are some more serious moments, and this is technically a post-apocalypse story, but overall this is one of the more bright and joyful games

the premise: this is a hyrule that was flooded by the gods when the hero of an ancient era could not show up to defeat ganondorf. people live on former mountaintops, now islands, interconnected by only the sea, and sailing is very dangerous. when link's younger sister is kidnapped, he has to leave his little island and go on a sea-faring adventure with pirates in order to get her back and unlock the mysteries of the hyrule beneath the waves.

the good: the game is vibrant, colorful, beautiful, and full of life. even if you don't like the cartoony art style (and i have mixed feelings), you can't deny the ambiance. there's a new combat system where for the first time you can pick up the dropped weapons of enemies, and the cast is stand-out - the "zelda" of this game is more hands-on than in any other title, and ganondorf is at his most sympathetic here, not to mention all the minor characters and their various sidequests. the characters are truly some of the funniest and most endearing yet - this game will make you laugh out loud. the enemies and bosses are unique and fun to grapple with (special shoutout to helmaroc king) and there's no shortage of stuff to do.

the bad: firstly, we have to mention the art style, which has been a little divisive over the years. it won't be for everybody. i like it for the most part, because you couldn't get the same vibe without it, but i do wish it was just a little less stylized - just a little! secondly, the game is just not finished. the development was rushed, leading to the cutting of an entire dungeon and a poorly-implemented second half where the focus shifts from exploration and dungeons to a near-ENDLESS fetch-quest for triforce pieces which involves a LOT of incredibly tedious and time-consuming sailing. (as kids, some trips were so long we could just set the direction and leave the controller on the floor while we took a bathroom break.)

the verdict: overall, the flaws aren't enough to ruin what is a truly great adventure. fans of the more serious games (hi! me!) may find themselves wishing wind waker had leaned into its post-apocalyptic setting and mysterious drowned world aspect more, and fans of lighter zeldas will find themselves wishing the damn thing was finished, but overall, everyone should find it's worth at least one playthrough, unless you absolutely cannot tolerate the visuals. fans of lighter zeldas, combat, and pirates will all love this one.

Four Swords (2002)

original console: gameboy advance

available on switch: no :(

also available on: 3ds (single-player remake), potentially pc (idk if emulation of the original is possible considering the connectivity, but you could almost certainly emulate the remake)

average playtime: 3-17 hours

mainline game: no

sequel: technically, it's a sequel to minish cap, but minish cap hadn't been made yet, so whatever

story-heavy: not at all

edge level: non-existent

the premise: link pulls the ancient "four sword" in order to defeat bad guy vaati and becomes split into 4 selves. this game was the first multiplayer zelda, and you had to have three friends, all with their own gameboys and link cables, to even play this bad boy. from what i understand in most of the game you just compete to see who can get the most rupees? a single-player version was released on the 3ds a few years later but i don't know if you can still buy it legit or if the 3ds store was shut down. since it was so inaccessible, pretty much no one played this, including me, so i can't give it a proper writeup. probably nobody reading this will ever get a chance to experience four swords how it was originally meant to be played either, but you can find this game's spirit in similar titles like four swords adventures or minish cap, which are much more accessible.

Four Swords Adventures (2004)

original console: gamecube

available on switch: no :(

also available on: uh yeah that's it. just the gamecube. you may be able to emulate it on pc though - i've never tried

average playtime: 15 hours

mainline game: no

sequel: teeechnically a sequel to the original four swords, but nobody played that, it's fine

story-heavy: not at all

edge level: very low

the premise: a sequel to four swords, this was intended to be the sleeker and (somewhat...) more accessible version. you can play this one as a single player, but my brother and i did it on co-op with a link cable and a gameboy sp - just the two of us, and no need to find two other friends - we each controlled two links each, to simplify it.

the good: the game is FUNNN as hell. the graphics are sleek as fuck because it's a 2d game running on a system capable of rendering 3d ones (just look at those flame effects!), the gameplay is addictive, and co-op puzzles are a blast. nintendo has always come out strong when it comes to in-person multiplayer (even if they have yet to catch up with online multiplayer...) and this is no exception. for anyone who ever wished they could sit on the floor and play zelda with their siblings the same way they played mario kart or smash bros, this game is a dream come true.

the bad: this game is still so GODDAMN inaccessible. we were lucky enough to have the gameboys and link cables we needed, but i don't have any idea how you'd go about playing it with other people now without some extremely tedious emulation or buying some extremely old (and expensive) gaming equipment. sure, emulating the single-player version on gcn is no big, but the game really shines in its multiplayer aspect, which is all but impossible for most people to enjoy now. it's incredibly frustrating.

the verdict: if you're lucky or rich enough to own a gamecube, a gameboy, and a link cable (multiple gameboys and link cables?) in 2023, AND you have a friend or three to play it with, please pick this one up. unless you just hate 2d zeldas, it is a FUCKING blast, and zelda fans the world over are probably envious they can't experience it for themselves.

Minish Cap (2004)

original console: gameboy advance

available on switch: yes, with nso (expansion pack)

also available on: original ds (backwards compatibility), 3ds, wii u (virtual console)

average playtime: 15-27 hours

mainline game: no

sequel: no, but it is a prequel to the four sword series (made well after those games were released)

story-heavy: medium-light - about the level of most 2d zelda games

edge level: very low - this is such a bright and cheerful adventure

the premise: in an adventure meant to explain vaati of four sword fame's origins, you meet teeny-tiny people known as the minish, who live in teeny-tiny spaces all over hyrule. they mend shoes, use pots and old boots as houses, fight dust mites, and leave surprise gifts such as rupees and hearts beneath pots and the like to help adventurers. by shrinking and growing you explore various nooks and crannies and solve a ton of puzzles, and through fusing items called kinstones with strangers you can change or uncover more of the overworld and unlock even more secrets

the good: the game is beautiful, bright, and fun. the soundtrack is catchy, the gameplay is addictive, the puzzles are very fresh, and the kinstone fusion feature means you'll be doing a lot of backtracking and replaying to see all this game has to offer.

the bad: besides zelda, i didn't find myself terribly enthralled with most of the cast. the reused sound effects from other games can be nostalgic sometimes but sometimes they feel a bit cheap, since they had to be downsized; they're the audio equivalent of a pixelated jpg. and as great as the soundtrack is, it suffered from the same thing.

the verdict: my nitpicks with this game are minor - i think it's a wonderful and fresh entry into the series, and probably one of if not the best 2D zelda. if you like 2D zelda at all, you'll want to pick it up.

Twilight Princess (2006)

original console: gamecube AND wii (i know)

available on switch: no :(

also available on: wii u (hd port), pc (emulation)

average playtime: 30-56 hours

mainline game: yes

sequel: technically, this is another possible sequel to oot, taking place 100 years later, and involving oot's ganondorf. (it has nothing to do with the timeline wind waker is on.)

story-heavy: yes, very - the cutscenes look great, the mocap for this game is wonderful

edge level: very high

the premise: 100 years after ocarina of time, darkness falls across hyrule in the form of "twilight," desolating every part of hyrule that it touches by turning its denizens into ghosts, and forcing princess zelda to surrender to zant, the king of the twilight realm. when link's village is destroyed by this twilight and he is turned into a wolf, he leaves to save zelda, save hyrule, and save his home. this game was meant to be a gcn title originally, but development was delayed for so long that they began co-developing it for the wii and released it as a launch title for that console.

the good: where do i start? this game was intended to be a return to oot's more realistic artstyle after many years of the wind waker art style in spin-off games, and was in fact a spiritual remake of oot in many ways. it is similar graphically, tonally, and gameplay wise - it's the oot they wanted to make in 1998, only with a more powerful engine, and fans loved it - check out this video of its announcement at e3 - it still gives me chills. famously, this game introduced horseback combat, which the devs had really wanted to implement in oot and were forced to give up on due to hardware limitations. the cast and the puzzles are all great on this one, and the world is huge and full of surprises, but of particular note is your partner midna, who comes with a better story and more personality than any partner before or since (sorry, king of red lions). lesbians and their associates will LOVE whatever the hell she has going on with zelda in this game. twilight princess also has the most fleshed-out swordplay of any zelda game - the various techniques you learn from the ghost swordsman are fun as hell, and every single boss battle in this game absolutely fucks.

the bad: despite its high moments, the story in this game is just a little weirdly paced. ganondorf was brought in kind of suddenly, and link's childhood friend from his village, whom the story focuses on a lot, is maybe not the most compelling character (sorry to ilia fans - she's okay, just not my favorite). not everybody liked this game's emulation of oot, and some people felt it was uninspired. personally, my gripes are mostly about the dual-console release; having played both versions multiple times, i think they both suffered from being co-developed. because the wii version uses motion controls and most people are right-handed they switched to a right-handed link for the wii (BLASPHEMY), meaning they actually flipped the entire world horizontally, and there are times when the laziness of this action is very apparent when playing the wii version. while the controls are superior on the wii (there's a mandatory shooting minigame that's all but impossible on gcn connected to a crt tv), the graphics just...look a little aged for a wii game, whereas they look damn good for a gamecube game. the hd remake fixes this, but since it's only on the wii u, fucking nobody has played it, and it remains inaccessible to most players except through emulation.

the verdict: if you can get your hands on this, do it. despite its flaws it's a classic meat-and-potatoes zelda adventure. fans of combat and more serious stories will especially love this one. personally, i preferred the gcn version because of left-handed link, but i do think the motion aiming on the wii (and wii u?) was a great addition, so it's a matter of preference as far as if you want the hd graphics and what controller feels correct in your hands.

Phantom Hourglass (2007)

original console: nintendo ds

available on switch: no :(

also available on: wii u (virtual console), pc (emulation)

average playtime: 17-31 hours

mainline game: no

sequel: a direct sequel to wind waker - not sure if you need to have played that to understand; from what i can tell there are actually a few plotholes

story-heavy: medium, i think?

edge level: low, as far as i know

the premise: after tetra gets sucked into a ghost shiop ad vanishes, link has to set sail on a new ship to find a way to free her. that's all i really know because, okay, up-front, i did not finish it. i did not give it a fair shake. it's got great reviews and they can't all be wrong, but i found controlling link with a stylus (the ds had no control stick) frustrating, the game hard to see (the graphics are trying to emulate ww's style on less capable hardware), and the story uncompelling (tetra? a damsel??). i know a lot of people really love linebeck and i wanna love him too one day, but until then, get your answers from the people who love this game!

Spirit Tracks (2009)

original console: nintendo ds

available on switch: no :(

also available on: wii u (virtual console), pc (emulation)

average playtime: 20-33 hours

mainline game: no

sequel: to wind waker and phantom hourglass, technically, though it takes place 100 years after those games

story-heavy: medium, i think?

edge level: low, as far as i know

the premise: 100 years after wind waker and phantom hourglass, a new hyrule has been founded above the waves and it has TRAINS. for some reason zelda gets zapped out of her body and can now follow you around as a cool ghost who possesses bigass statues to help you out. that's right, your partner for this game IS ZELDA. the main theme for this game is so catchy it's a crime. i never played this since i didn't finish phantom hourglass, but it looks so fucking cool that i wanna power through phantom hourglass despite my initial reservations just so i can take a crack at it.

Skyward Sword (2011)

original console: wii

available on switch: yes, as an hd port

also available on: wii u (virtual console & backwards compatibility), pc (emulation)

average playtime: 30-58

mainline game: yes

sequel: no - in fact, it's the prequel to every zelda, being that it's the very first one in the timeline

story-heavy: yes, very

edge level: mostly low, but it does have its serious moments

the premise: taking place at the very start of zelda's long and complex timeline, this game seeks to explain the origins of hyrule's creation and and some of its mythology. link and the other proto-hylians live in islands high above the clouds and attend the school for flying around on bigass birds, not knowing if there even is a world below, until one day zelda (not a princess but the headmaster's daughter) gets dragged down by a dark force, and link must venture into the land below to save her.

the good: skyward sword is oozing ambiance. a standout area of this game is lanayru desert, in which you can use a timeshift stone to shift the area directly around you back in time by 1000 years or so and watch it come to life with greenery. this soundtrack is fully orchestrated, we get to hear zelda sing (her first voice acting debut!), and when the motion controls are on, they're REALLY on. sometimes the swordfights feel like actual duels. the cast of side-characters all get a lot of development (shoutout to my man groose!), and the villains are creepy and quirky. the dungeons in skyward sword are especially good - the cistern in particular is one of the best in the game, but we can't forget the ghost ship or the sky temple either. minor spoilers for the story, here, but finding out WHY there are so many zelda games and the struggle against evil never ends (it's a literal curse) was really cool and really reframed how a lot of people saw the series and the characters - it's a lot more tragic that they have a fate they can't escape from so long as zelda fans want more games.

the bad: minor spoilers for the story here too. as far as prequels go it did not make a lot of sense. there's nothing about the three goddesses we've come to know and love, only about the minor goddess hylia, and the ancient hyrule features species that don't ever make another appearance mole guys and seahorse dudes. there aren't any zoras or gerudo or koroks/kokiri, there's only one goron, we only see two sheikah...it feels so far removed from the hyrule we know that it doesn't feel like a prequel at all. additionally, when the motion controls aren't good, they're REALLY bad - especially on the switch version, which has less precise controls than the wii. finally, while i personally didn't mind it (puzzles!), a lot of people disliked how linear the overworld was and complained there was no exploration. another common frustration, one which i share, is how much the game holds your hand. (this famously inspired toriel in the game undertale to LITERALLY hold your hand and do the puzzle for you.) this game will present a puzzle and then have the nearest npc (most often fi, poor fi, she undeservedly gets all the blame for this) explain how to do it before giving you even one chance to try for yourself.

the verdict: it has its flaws, but i still enjoy it a lot. i think more experienced players will be very frustrated with it at times, and people who hate motion mechanics or constant alerts/lots of useless dialogue will be miserable. (you can turn motion controls off in the switch version but it feels unnatural because of how sword-swinging works.) on the other hand, the game's linear and hand-holdy nature actually makes it a perfect start for brand new gamers, especially given where it falls on the timeline.

A Link Between Worlds (2013)

original console: 3ds

available on switch: no :(

also available on: pc (emulation)

average playtime: 16-23 hours

mainline game: no

sequel: takes place at least 100 years after a link to the past, and even uses the same overworld! you don't have to play that to understand this though.

story-heavy: medium, about the level you expect for 2d zeldas

edge level: medium-high

the premise: link turns into a little flat guy so he can go more places! this is a sequel involving the inhabitants of lorule, a parallel world to hyrule, one without a triforce. go back and forth between kingdoms to save hyrule from suffering the same fate, all while trying to kick a giant rabbit guy out of your house.

the good: the puzzles in this one are really fun and fresh, the old overworld map feels super nostalgic, the music is charming, and being able to tackle the dungeons in any order is a nice touch. i especially loved getting to know certain inhabitants of lorule.

the bad: the non-linear style won't be for everyone, and i wish i had been able to spend more time getting to know hilda in particular.

the verdict: this in my opinion is one of the best 2D zeldas - if you're a 2D zelda fan, especially a alttp fan, don't miss it!

Hyrule Warriors (2014, 2016, 2018)

original console: wii u

available on switch: yes, as a remake/collection

also available on: this is complicated. the game was originally released on wii u, then ported to the 3ds with new added content but i think mising some other content, and then FINALLY released on the switch with ALL the content. you can also emulate any version on the pc

average playtime: 17-38 hours, though people report up to a whopping 366 hours to 100% it

mainline game: no

sequel: no

story-heavy: medium-ish. there's cool cutscenes but it's not that deep

edge level: low, this shit is just balls to the wall crazy-ass fun

the premise: a crossover between dynasty warriors and zelda. turn zelda into a beat-em-up and add cameos from popular characters doing increasingly batshit anime fighting moves. what's not to like?

the good: this game is insane. the electric guitar soundtrack, the cameos, the nostaliga - it's all here. the gameplay is good mindless fun you can really sink your teeth into, and despite it not being the point i had fun running around and exploring all the maps. there's so, so, SO much to do (366 hours!) you will literally never see the end of it.

the bad: the OCs are maybe not my favorite people. i don't know if they come from other dynasty warriors games but they were a little annoying and truly, uh, underdressed. also, as someone who likes to 100% games, it annoys me that i'll likely never 100% this, just because of the sheer timesink/grinding required.

the verdict: if you like fighting games and combat, this is for you. if you're into zelda for the serious story stuff and the puzzles, give it a pass. completionists beware, 100%ing this game is NOT for the faint-hearted.

Tri Force Heroes (2015)

original console: 3ds

available on switch: no :(

also available on: pc (emulation)

average playtime: 14-26 hours, but up to 56 hours to 100% it

mainline game: no

sequel: takes place a few years after a link between worlds - not sure if you need to play that to understand this, but it seems unlikely

story-heavy: doesn't look like it

edge level: low. oh my god, he's in a little cheerleader outfit. look at him

the premise: i don't really know, i think you crossdress to gain superpowers and then solve puzzles with your buds. i didn't play this one because i didn't have 2 friends with a 3ds and a flexible schedule. apparently there's a one-player mode, but it just doesn't seem as fun, and the lack of a 2-player mode is sad because my brother and i could've rocked it. like the four swords series, this looks like great multiplayer fun, but it's inaccessible to people without the time or coordination to get 3 people together. it looks fun as hell, though.

Breath of the Wild (2017)

original console: dual launch on wii u and switch

available on switch: yes, obviously :)

also available on: pc (emulation)

average playtime: 50-100 hours, though to 100% everything and enjoy the dlc it could take up to 210!

mainline game: yes

sequel: technically, it's a sequel to everything, since it takes place at the end of (somehow) every timeline. but you don't have to have any prior experience to enjoy it

story-heavy: medium-heavy? this is the first zelda game with voice acting, and what cutscenes it does have are amazing, but you can expect to see only a very few of them

edge level: very high (this is once again post-apocalyptic), but not as high as majora's mask or twilight princess

the premise: link wakes after a 100 year sleep with no memory of who he is or what happened to the ruined world around him. explore a completely open world in your own way at your own pace, recover your memories, rescue zelda.

the good: this game hit the industry at a thousand miles per hour and six years later the hype still hasn't slowed down. this redefined the series and the genre in a way we haven't seen since oot in 1998. this game is revolutionary in the way that oot was revolutionary back then, but updated so that newer players find it just as surprising and refreshing as new players in 1998 found oot back then. the exploration, the physics, and the world are all totally unparalleled - three decades later, this zelda truly gets back to the original explorer and adventuring spirit miyamoto tried so hard to capture in the very first legend of zelda game all the way back in 1986.

the bad: as much fun as this world is to play around in, i found that most of my joy came from the exploration and not knowing what i'd find around the next corner. it's still a very, very, VERY good game, but i found that on my replay it just didn't have that same shininess that other games in the series do when i replay them. and, of course, because it's so different it's very divisive - there's no human ganondorf in this game, no dungeons - all your puzzle-solving comes in microdungeons called shrines scattered around hyrule. weapon durability is also a hotly debated feature - even i found it frustrating at times, although in many ways the forced improvisation it brings to the table is more than worth the cost of admission. and overall the enemies are all the same and have no real difference between them, even the bosses, and the boss fights kind of suck. it's a really good game, but it does have its flaws.

the verdict: this is the perfect starting point for anyone new to the series. many people have started with this game and learned about hyrule alongside the amnesiac link - i had an extremely interesting discussion once with someone on tumblr about how the game is different if you've grown up loving hyrule and see it get torn apart, vs if the only hyrule you know IS the one that's torn apart. both ways are wonderful experiences, and i think even non-zelda fans would find something to love in the freedom this game offers.

Cadence of Hyrule (2019)

original console: switch

available on switch: yes, obviously :)

also available on: pc (emulation)

average playtime: 6-11 hours, but you can add up to 12 more if you play the dlc

mainline game: no

sequel: no

story-heavy: not really

edge level: low

the premise: a crossover with crypt of the necrodancer, a roguelike rhythm game. there's no real story here except, notably, a brief cameo of a younger ganondorf, though his back is always turned to you. (if you could go back and kill ganondorf as a baby...)

the good: well, a rhythm game's gotta have good music, right? both the rehashes of the old songs and the new music are absolutely stellar here. i'm normally iffy on rhythm games but i found the gameplay addictive (there's a strong tactical element to moving around) and the exploration fun. getting to play as zelda (!!!) if you want is a great bonus, too. there's really nothing not to love.

the bad: the kind of movement you have in this game doesn't lend itself super well to boss fights most of the time. they weren't bad by any means but definitely one of the weaker parts of the experience.

the verdict: unless you hate rhythm games or hate fun, you'll like this one, especially if you're a crypt of the necrodancer fan or a fan of zelda's music in general. puzzle fans might be disappointed there aren't as many mind-twisters in this one, though.

Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity (2020)

original console: switch

available on switch: yes, obviously :)

also available on: pc (emulation)

average playtime: 25-40 hours, though it can take up to 76 hours to 100% it

mainline game: no

sequel: a direct prequel to breath of the wild and its eventual but as-of-yet unreleased sequel tears of the kingdom

story-heavy: yes

edge level: relatively low, i'm told

the premise: so this is a prequel to botw, taking place during the era just before the apocalypse. i didn't finish it because it came out right around nov 5 2020 (iykyk) and then someone spoiled the ending for me and i thought it sounded stupid, so i was less motivated to play. what little i did play of it was great, though - it was exciting and fun in all the ways the original hyrule warriors was but bigger and badder in every respect, and with a little more of that somber botw flavor. i intend to finish before totk comes out despite my reservations about the story.

The Conclusion

it's a great time to be a zelda fan because out of the 22 games on this list, only 8 of them are unavailable on nintendo switch, and only 2 of those are what i would consider to be mainline games. that means you can access two thirds of the ENTIRE SERIES, spanning almost 4 decades, on a single console! your only limits are your time and your wallet. most of the ones that AREN'T available on the switch can be played on a 3ds, so if you have or buy one, nearly the entire series is at your fingertips. (you can emulate the shit out of your 3ds, btw, and play a lot of these gameboy, gba, and ds games for free - nintendo isn't looking anymore so they don't care.)

sorry i couldn't fully cover all games - i welcome opinions from people who have played games i've missed in the tags. when i do get around to playing them, i will come back and update this guide! expect an entry for totk eventually too. thanks for reading and i hope it was helpful to someone!