#gonna start crying out of anxiety | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

welldressedvillain · 2 months

Text

Promo clips.... the black armor.... THEY PAINTED OVER THEWIR ARMORS ENTIRELY ...... im killing myself

DID THEY REALLY NEED TO DO THIS????? ITS SO FOREBODING WHY WOUDL YOY

#bad batch eve used to be fun #this is the most stressful night of my life #i still haven't processed eps 10+11 and they're giving me THIS to deal with #oh we're so done it's so over #gonna start crying out of anxiety #see yall on the other side (only if i dont die in the process)#im taking melatonin tn #the bad batch #tbb s3 spoilers #the bad batch season 3

7 notes · View notes

sailor-aviator · 8 months

Text

.

#y'all my anxiety has me spiraling as of late because it just feels like my whole life is falling apart at this point #i got fired from my job a couple of months ago and i've been scrambling to try and find a new one #i work part time at a store i really love but it pays shit #and i've had all of these interviews and no one wants to hire me and i just feel unhireable at this point and it's hard not to despair #and on top of that i'm struggling with my self esteem again #i know i'm not ugly per se but i'm struggling with feeling confident in the way i look as a big girl #and all of my old insecurities are rearing their ugly heads and i want to cry just thinking about it #and i feel like such a failure right now even though i know that life has its ups and downs but my stupid brain just won't chill #and i don't really have any friends in the area because they all either moved away or didn't live here to begin with #and i'm tired of living at home because of my stupid student loans and not being able to afford to live on my own #i have one person i hang out with and we just met and i don't want to scare them off because they're a great friend and person #and i just feel like i'm never going to meet anybody who's going to love me the way i want to be loved because of my looks #also because it's me. and i feel like i'm so flawed as a person that no one will ever fall in love with me #and i've just been feeling really alone lately and i'm trying to do things to make me feel better but it's just so HARD right now #and i love writing because it gives me a chance to explore some of my feelings and it's something i genuinely love to do #and i'm sitting here waiting for the day things start to get better. and i know we all joke and i'm gonna sounds so dumb for saying this #but i feel like i was meant to be famous? or do something great idk and it's something everyone has always told me #and idk if my feelings of inadequacy are because of that or what but i'm scared that my life is going to mean nothing in the end #anyway this was a lot and you can pretend like you didn't read it. i just wanted to write some of my feelings down

11 notes · View notes

stuck-in-the-ghost-zone · 1 month

Text

having a category 12 "thought about william wisp for too long" moment

#that last scene in 40 . got me fucked up so bad. motherfucker. aauagahaghhhhrrghgh.#idk if its the paranoia anxiety of animal sounds in my ceiling again finally catching up to me but im srs like.#almost starting 2 cry right now and im not even LISTENING to the episode.#thought abojt david kaufman again. fuck . part of me is like god i need 2 go listen to his lines again but the other part of me is like.#no mac you have work jn the morning and youre ALREADY not gonna grt enough sleep due to the fucking animals in your ceiling.#head in hands. we need 2 dismantle capitalist society so i can spend the next 24 hours fucking weeping over william wisp.#then maybe ill get my thoughts in order enough to actually write about him #having soioooooo many blood and gore thoughts about [redacted for spoilers] . i havent seen ANY art of it #except one like. vague abstract thing. whcih was awesome dont get me wrong. but i want 2 see something visceral.#and im not good enough at blood and gore to do it myself . plus ive burnt myself out so hard on the painting projects.#and im still not DONE with them #ughhhghgh. anyway. on 24/7 wiwi lockdown ovwr here

2 notes · View notes

swallowtail-ageha · 2 months

Text

Whenever i see a photo of me from when i was 15 i get major whiplash GOD 2020/2021 sucked balls as a year

#if i didnt start doing drugs during that time then im probably gonna never start doing drugs no matter what happens #like.. between quarantine me seeing someone get stabbed and bleed to death my anxiety culminating in an ED and being actively groomed #i am surprised i. came out relatively normal i coulve ended up worse #i did end up having to leave the scout camp earlier that year because my mental health got so bad #that i was constantly crying and pulling my hair out (and i also acted like a major asshole to basically everyone which i still want to #punch myself for)#but now i am doing way better lol

5 notes · View notes

donttouchtheneednoggle · 9 months

Text

shout out to thomas from ghosts for yoinking me out of a panic attack before it could really get going

#was shaking and trying not to cry and floating somewhere on the ceiling #then friday im in love came on the radio and reminded me of him doing his stupid little dance and it made me smile and calmed me down a bit #but i gotta give myself credit for not panicking at the panic too much and feeding it more #time was when feeling the thing i felt from first year tm would've sent me into a week long spiral #feels so stupid tho all it was was my volunteering manager asked if i wanted to start doing a longer shift #when im already struggling doing two measly hours a week and nothing else like jfc #but that's cos im not on my adhd meds which make life yknow tolerable and im gonna try getting back on them next week #and i also don't wanna start anything else bc i wanna change my name first so it's not quite so complicated #hahaaa it's already complicated and confusing and frustrating as all hell #but ik if i can just be patient and take these few months to figure stuff out it'll be so much better in the long term #im getting support for the gender tm and I've made so much progress in a month #i still feel guilty and ashamed bc im not actively job hunting or doing more volunteering #and like im just making excuses to let my anxiety win when ik i can cope with it #but i can't handle going into another situation where im misgendered and uncomfortable with my name #im at the end of my tether with it and i need to figure it out #wahoo #mine #vent #in good news tho im pretty certain im a dude more sure about pronouns and have a potential name im thinking of!!

5 notes · View notes

nerdie-faerie · 5 months

Text

Feeling a lil vindictive, a lil nasty this morning

So context, my brother had a work do last night and before he left he told my mum he'd becoming back here and doing so alone. So tell me why he called me at 3am when I'm trying to sleep but travel anxiety and says he's bringing two mates back? I tell him he can't I'm leaving at 6 tomorrow he just goes yeah they'll just be passing through your room. No I've gotta get up in 3 hours you can't be keeping up, yeah it's fine. The fuck it is not

Anyway so my alarm goes off 3 hours later I've barely slept, my brain already woke me up several times prior but that doesn't mean I'm turning my alarms off immediately or getting ready quietly after the prick disturbed my sleep

#Demon Spawn #travel tag #the rest of my siblings got a nice goodbye but im not a morning person on a good night sleep let alone when i havent been able to sleep #like i wouldnt have gotten much sleep regardless because of anxiety but i woulda been able to fall asleep sooner if i hadnt been dragged out #of bed kept awake by the rage induced adrenaline and the sounds of sports being played on tv and chatter in the next room #and hes gonna spend all day in bed anyway so i dont feel guilty particularly when hes had guests over constantly for the two weeks ive been #home which denies me access to the ensuite and kitchenette thats accessible from his room and he constantly keeps me awake #i dont get to enjoy my comfy non student accommodation bed because the fcker never lets me go to sleep and my mum wont let me sleep in #i did fix my sleep schedule minutely was getting tired at 12 instead of 2am from where i fcked it during assignment season so small mercies #had to wake my littlest brothers up to say goodbye and the babby started crying 😢 my mum wanted me to wake her and the baby up too #but the baba was still half asleep and definitely not processing that i was leaving 😂 she was so unbothered guarantee ill have to facetime #my dad dropped me to the bus stop and hes as bad at small talk and emotionally constipated as me but he was just coming back from a night #shift so i appreciate that that was him putting in extra effort and him checking i had enough money is as close to sentiment as he can do #everyone else? cute goodbye. my sister was already awake when i got up to the house pretty sure she had an alarm set.....#my oldest younger brother? i hope the hangover sucks

6 notes · View notes

raystie · 1 year

Text

wow my last post was in Feb so despite not really having a following here I still feel obligated to say I'm going through a Bad Time both mentally and physically rn I can't even be bothered to think about or play Yakuza or do anything really. not dead but I sure feel like I'm on the way there rn. won't be here for a while take care everyone

#ray txt #well if you really wanna know the tmi details I'm putting it in the tags because I love overshsring #short version is entered depressive episode couldn't regulate my emotions constant crying and racing thoughts and mood swings #eventually psychosomatic symptoms caused by anxiety gets bad enough I start also having health anxiety and freaking out that I had some #disease or illness and that I was gonna die #if you've ever had your body feel like it's dying because of anxiety it's the typical shit #chest feels tight and like it's being crushed and like I can't breathe #random pains all over sometimes muscles or stabbing pains across torso #random nausea sweating and constant loss of appetite but maybe that was the depression #anyway after multiple crying sessions and nights where I couldn't sleep until like 8am and my parents considering putting me in #psych rehab (idea got scrapped) I go see some specialists #they check my blood piss uterus (irregular cycles I only get it every 2-4 months for years now)#and x-rays and they tell me actually everything looks fine physically! there's nothing wrong anywhere they can see and all my Levels are #perfectly Normal and Average I don't have a disease or illness or deficit #so all those pains and suffering really was just psychologically manifested and my brain made it up #andi know it's true because after that visit the chest pain was a lot less Andi can breathe better now #wait but that's not the end of it!#the gyne thinks I could have PCOS but can't confirm so I get my hormones tested and turns out I have more prolactin than normal #that fool made it sound like I Needed to get a MRI scan to check the gland that produces it in my brain or whatever #i go see an endocrinologist who says oh actually the extra prolactin is most likely just from your psychiatric medications #turns out if you take those it's commonly seen to go up so I didn't have to get scanned #this was optional but he suggested I take cabergoline to lower it and also get my menstruation regular again #and that's what I'm doing now but I feel like I had forgotten what having a period is like after always going for months without it #Oh and then I saw a new psychiatrist. because I had serotonin syndrome before and my body reacts badly to medications I've taken #he suggests a sensitivity blood test which I agreed to IMMEADIATELY because I've spent almost a whole decade taking all sorts of meds and #none of it working out #I haven't gotten the results back but he also said SSRIs are out of the question #although I've tried a bunch of antipsychotics and (prescribed) ADHD medications and they didn't work out #really want this fucking test because taking a med and then getting blasted with side effects makes me feel like a guinea pig being #experimented on

14 notes · View notes

simmeons · 8 months

Text

im normal about silly characters (lie)

#i think of them in a way that defines their complexity to me #and then i get sad #this goes for characters in general or ones i used in aus or ocs like like #the classical lil vampy and priest you guys seem to love a lot (that i haven't drawn in a while)#just thinking of them shaking and crying throwing up i want their relationship so complex and unhealthy for the both of them #i want them to be in love but a love that's like roses with thorns so the beauty you feel when it starts out covers up the inevitable damag #of holding on too long #FUCKINF HEAR ME OUUUTT GOF DMANNA IT #like im gonna barf here #Monty being in love with the vampire but the fear and anxiety of being caught with a man and a VAMPIRE no less is so suffocating #the anxiety and fear of it all causes him so much stress he has to break it off but it doesn't explain himself well enough for his lover so #so there's a mixup which leads our poor vampire to feeling betrayed and left behind #because for once in his life someone saw him for himself and not just some demon #and it's so hard to understand what Monty is going through because he'll never understand. he'll never understand the weight #the weight of upholding religious ideals and living up to what other people see in you #so he resentful and hates Monty for leaving him #and yeah #im normal

2 notes · View notes

britneyshakespeare · 1 year

Text

well i didn’t get my paycheck in the mail but i did get a referral notice from my doctor saying that i can expect to see an endocrinologist... in SIX. FUCKING. MONTHS.

#no. fucking. no #i can barely get out of bed on a good day. i've been feeling this way for months.#bloodwork says i HAVE hashimoto's disease. i have a family history of thyroid issues on both sides #i am NOT in acceptable health to be waiting six months. i wanna cry. maybe i will #tales from diana #another fucking phone call i have to make on monday. i still haven't called the other specialist i need to see to make an appointment #the secretary told me they'd take care of this one and schedule it for me #they said it might take until the fall #i can't wait until the fucking winter solstice #i have so much anxiety on top of all of this health shit i have barely been able to think straight this week #everything in my life is falling apart #reducing/managing stress is all they told me i can do for now (until i potentially start a treatment course)#to prevent myself from developing full-blown hypothyroidism #AND LET ME TELL YOU... CIRCUMSTANCES IN THE LAST WEEK HAVE NOT BEEN GREAT FOR THAT #i'm gonna have to drop out of society and be a recluse again at this rate. this is so discouraging #i'm not gonna be able to continue my education or pick up a steady job #luckily being a substitute teacher is super flexible but i wanna fuckin be able to pick up hours at that job #i haven't been able to work more than two fucking days a week since april #i don't leave the house to see ppl anymore bc if i so much as walk in a parking lot im unable to get up for the rest of the day #im PISSED #i do wanna cry #ok bye i can't be ranting like this anymore i wanna cry

2 notes · View notes

cerbreus · 1 year

Text

it’s been a hellish last couple months dealing with being caught in the crossfire between incompetent rental car agency that is mad at me and incompetent car insurance company that didn’t tell me the person handling my claim fucking QUIT and MY CLAIM WENT FORGOTTEN FOR MONTHS and it still isn’t resolved in fact things have gotten worse and tbh, when i have major stressful setbacks in life, my body and brains’ response is to just. not. do anything. just shut down. intense fatigue, inability to focus on literally anything because the background level of stress is so high.