#like im gonna barf here

[simmeons]

im normal about silly characters (lie)

[ofcowardiceandkings]

sometimes u jus gotta do something sickly as a treat

[chinhands]

[elegyofthemoon]

day 3 went from "its soooo over" to "LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO"

not that i have a schedule but i am proud that i am fighting against anxiety by shoving myself into situations to get some work done

[bonestrouslingbones]

oh yknow what i can already tell im gonna enjoy the hell out of having a secret blog. there is no need for a filter or to be scared to rant about weird fandom bullshit if it feels like im talking to a void

[the-kipsabian]

once again fellas, its time to Stress

[rebellum]

Motherfuckers will talk about the need to "curate lesbian spaces that don't allow anyone aligned with manhood at all in order to curate a safe space" which means all multigender people that identify with manhood aren't allowed because a safe space is for woman and nonbinary* (I am vomiting) only

(*obvs not all nonbinary people! Because anyone too aligned with manhood is dangerousevilbad)

And then they'll be white

Agshejtlylh

[cjrights]

part one: over you - paige bueckers

previous ➔ next. blue masterlist

lyric: “id like to mean it when i say im over you”

pairing: paige bueckers x oc

warnings: language, small pain infliction, anxiety talk, (both for literally one second) pining, underage drinking

an: hey fam 😋 im so sorry this took so long, and this chapter is not the most interesting! i promise its going to make more sense later let me cookkk :) thank you for reading and enjoy — for context: caroline has a dog named murphy & paige is purple and calista is orange for the texting portions

word count: 2.1k

the radio softly plays as paige grips the steering wheel. i look over at her, laying against the headrest.

i hum along to the radio as i look at paige’s nose. it’s a perfect slope, and it takes everything in me to not reach out and trace it.

my eyes subconsciously move to her lips, which paige is chewing on, eyes fixated on the road.

i wonder what it would be like to… oh my god. stop it. that’s your best friend.

i wonder what’s going on inside her head. my head is really a sea of confusing thoughts. sadness, anger, confusion, exhaustion.

why is she perfect? why am i like this? get a fucking grip. hold it together.

“cali? you okay?” paige glances over at me, while still trying to pay attention while she’s driving.

“hm? yeah. im okay, just… tired.” i hope my pause wasn’t too suspicious, but paige is oblivious and nods. “i understand. do you wanna talk about it? i really wanna know what happened.”

i sigh and ball my hands into fists, stabbing my nails into my palms. this is something i do to help me calm down whenever my anxiety is high. paige doesn’t know about it.

“i… okay. let’s go back to the beginning.”

6 HOURS EARLIER

december 15th, 2022 - 7:32 PM

“i love you more.”

“no, i love you more.”

“not possible. i definitely love you more.”

“can you guys stop? im trying to eat over here, you’re gonna make me barf.” i look over from my phone to shoot daggers at my roommate nia. she has a look of absolute disgust on her face.

“king, literally bite me.” you say before blowing her a kiss. nia sticks up her middle finger, smiling condescendingly. “bitch. you know… there’s a party tonight. i think one of your little boyfriend’s minions is throwing it.”

i shake my head. “nia, it’s like you don’t know me at all.” nia rolls her eyes and flops her body off of the couch. “you did that to me. just so you know.”

i sigh. “are you proposing something? or just whining?” nia chuckles. “you're coming with me to that party tonight.”

an objection comes from the person im on the phone with. “um, she can’t! she’s very busy dog sitting murph.” i purse my lips as i run my fingers through the ball of fur laying on my lap.

“baby, not anymore. it’s my last day with murphy. carol is coming to pick him up in about 30 minutes.” i take my lower lip in between my teeth. “maybe i will go. i mean, what’s the harm?” i see my boyfriend’s eyes widen through the phone.

“HELL YEAH!” nia squeals. “this is gonna be so fun babe. screw you cole.” cole scoffs through the phone. “whatever bro. im hanging up. king, when i catch you it’s on sight.” i giggle. “yeah okay. whatever you say.” nia comments sarcastically.

as soon as i hang up, nia takes my face into her hands. “calista, we gotta get you ready. you’re gonna look so fucking hot.”

8:37 PM

“are you on aux? can i have it please?” i finger the aux cord between my pointer and middle finger, jutting my bottom lip out. nia covers her eyes. “don’t give me no puppy dog eyes. that’s not gonna work on me.”

i groan in frustration. “i don’t know your shit. im trying to get ready and pregame in peace. not in… whatever the fuck your music is.”

“bitch, my music is glorious. plus this is expanding your music taste. win-win for you cali.” nia pulls her goddess braids up into a half up half down. “what are you doing with your hair?” she throws her arms down In exasperation.

“yeah okay ni.” i cock my eyebrow. “i was just gonna leave it down. does it not look good?” i scrunch my brown curly hair, examining the minor frizz at the top.

“no, it looks good. i was just wondering because-” nia is interrupted by my phone ringing. the contact name:

“p 💗”

i smile and pick it up. “hi paige.”

“hey kiddo. i heard about the party tonight. can you please come?” she’s already begging. damn.

“im one step ahead of you. im going.”

i can hear and feel her shock through the phone.

“im sorry, what? you, calista elani hart, are going to a party? and i didn’t even have to ask you? who are you? cause this is not my cali girl.”

i snicker and lay back in my chair. nia is eyeing me menacingly. “put it on speaker.” nia mouths silently.

i roll my eyes and pull the phone away from my ear to put it on speaker.

“it’s me p. im feeling adventurous. it’s the holiday season. i feel like something’s going to happen tonight, and i am sure as hell not gonna miss it.”

paige chuckles. “okay, it’s definitely you. you’re my favorite fomo warrior. im here for you kiddo.”

“shut the fuck up paige. you’re mean. im hanging up.” paige whines. “don’t be like that. im just joking. hey, we pregaming at my place or what?” i look back over at nia. she shrugs and nods.

“yeah perfect. nia’s coming, is that cool?”

“sounds great. i know someone who really wants to see her.” nia must’ve forgotten that paige wasn’t aware of the fact she was on speaker, because she shrieks. “hold the fucking phone. who wants to see me?”

i smack my hand on my forehead and let it run down my face.

“wowwww. speaker phone? really? am i another one of your hoes?” paige sighs and pretends to start sobbing. “i thought you were different.”

“you’re annoying as fuck. we’ll see you at nine?”

“i love you too. text me when you’re on the way please.”

i hang up the phone and sigh, bringing my eyelash curler to my eyes. “what are you smiling so big for? nia sneers at me. she leans her body against my bed and crosses her arms over her chest.

“what? im not.” i laugh nervously. i definitely am. “okay girl, whatever you say.”

as im sitting at my vanity, i turn around in my chair to look at her. “stop making fun of me. it’s not nice.” “girl. im not making fun of you. i just think… hm. do you remember that one night? between you and paige?”

my stomach lurches at her comment. “nia, don’t. we were drunk. it meant nothing to paige so it means nothing to me. end of story.” nia throws up her hands. “alright. i understand. i just think y’all need to talk about it again. clear the air… you know?”

i frown. “i think that’s the exact opposite of what we need. we’re finally good again.” i lick my lips. “whatever. i don’t wanna talk about this anymore. im ready whenever you are.”

nia nods. “cool. im ready now.”

8:49 PM

On my way!

fuck

Wow! You’re so excited!

hush

LOL see you soon

9:00 PM

i walk up the long staircase to paige’s dorm room. i have my black heels in my hand, so im barefoot.

“damn what floor does blondie live on? im tired from these stairs.” i chuckle. “she lives on the top floor. it’s only 4 flights nia, you’ll live.”

“will i? im wiped as fuck. maybe i need to take my shoes off too.” i shrug as we finally reach the top floor. i start to walk down the hallway, reaching her room. i let out a shaky breath and knock on the door.

“you good? what are you so nervous for?” i look over at her. “w-what? im not nervous! im fine.” nia raises her eyebrows in a “yeah OHkay” expression.

the door swings open and a slightly shorter girl stands in front of me. she smiles and god that smile. that stupid fucking smile. she glances down at my feet. “why are your shoes off kiddo?”

i giggle. “cause. i had to walk all the way up here.” i push past her and walk into her dorm, shivering at her stare. she doesn’t notice.

paige looks nia up and down, biting her lip. “hey nia. you look good.” nia rolls her eyes practically into the back of her head. “good fucking bye. you think you’re so funny bueckers.” paige smirks. “i am funny.”

“whatever helps you sleep at night.” nia says as she walks in behind me. paige shakes her head and shuts the door, grinning.

all of a sudden a head of curly black hair walks out of the bathroom. “oh hey! you guys are right on time.”

“hey azzi.” i beam. azzi is genuinely one of the prettiest and most kind girls ive ever met. her smile lights up any room she walks in, and there’s really something about her personality that makes her so easy to be around.

“hey cali.” azzi cheeses back. “you pregaming with us?” i ask, nudging her in the shoulder. before she can answer, paige interrupts. “she’s not. she’s a baby, im not letting her drink.” she sticks her tongue out at azzi.

“wow, very mature. you should definitely be the one drinking here. and im not a baby! im 20. you’re an asshole.” nia giggles. “clock her shit az.” nia then holds up a finger to paige’s face.

“hold on, by your logic i cant drink either. but you sure as hell don’t look like my mama, so im not listening to you.” paige scoffs. “well excuse me for looking out for you two.” she steps over towards me, slinging an arm around my shoulder. “me and calista aren’t your mommies. we don’t wanna be responsible if anything happens.”

i turn a horrifying shade of crimson red.

she’s so warm. even though she’s wearing that dumb blue crop top that covers none of her skin, she’s so fucking warm. why am i thinking about this? cole. your boyfriend. you have a boyfriend calista. this is your best friend since the sandbox. hell, since diapers.

“y-yeah.” fuck. i clear my throat. nia covers her smile with her hand. “we love you guys, but we aren’t babysitting you. or bailing you out of jail.”

azzi walks over to nia and mimicks paige, slinging her arm over nia’s shoulder. for some reason, nia seems to shrink in size. “we don’t need you guys to bail us out. me and king look out for each other. isn’t that right?” she smirks at nia, who is nodding ferociously. “we will be attached at the hip. y’all do not need to worry about us.”

me and paige look at each other. i cock my eyebrow.

“you’re seeing this right?” i say with my eyes.

paige nods, and i sigh.

“whatever. paige, pour us shots please.” paige removes her arm from my shoulder, and i shudder at the loss of heat.

“yes ma’am.” paige salutes as she walks into her kitchen. i roll my eyes and follow behind.

9:48 PM

“kiddo, it’s pregame, you need to calm down.” paige puts her hand on my shoulder and furrows her eyebrows in concern.

i wipe my mouth after downing my 3rd shot. of tequila. “what? paigey im fine.” i brush her hand off my shoulder. “how many did y’all have?” “one.” nia and azzi say in unison, looking at each other and giggling.

i frown and look at paige. “i didn’t have any.” she holds up her keys. “unless you wanna walk?”

i purse my lips. “whatever. let’s just go please.”

1:56 AM

paige pinches the skin on the bridge of her nose, leaning against the window. she has one hand on the steering wheel. “okay cali. as much as i’m loving the replay, i was there for this part. you still haven’t explained what happened. why were you crying?”

i groan. “god, you’re so impatient. can’t you see im building to get there?”

paige rolls her eyes. “im trying to be patient. you’re my best friend and you’re obviously going through something. but can we get to the good part?”

i pull my knees to my chest in the passenger seat. “the good part? my trauma is just a story to you?” i fake pout.

“you know that’s not what i- wait. are you not buckled?” i punch her arm. “shut up. is that really what you’re concerned about right now?”

she sighs. “i guess not. go on please. and buckle? im not trying to get pulled over with a drunk unbuckled girl in my car.”

i nod. “thank you. and ill tell MY story how i want to tell it.” i put my feet on the ground and grab my seatbelt. i pull it over me and shove it into the buckle until i hear a click.

thank you for reading! with love, cj ᡣ𐭩

tags: @iminlovewithpaigebueckers @sunkissed-zegras @bueckersstrap @ijustlovepinky @xxloveralways14

[sanjisboyfie]

one piece smau: dating luffy edition

— modern au!! these r so fun

— luffy x male reader <3

— i like making the pairings usernames match i think its so cute "returnto[name]" and "im[name]"

liked by returnto[name], dni_nami, roro.zoro, and 7k others

im[name]: i cannot even sleep in peace hes lucky hes cute

tagged: returnto[name]

returnto[name]: I LOVE YOU [NAME] LETS ALWAYS TAKE NAPS TGOETHER OKAY?! :DDD

-> im[name]: ofc my love 😭

dni_nami: im gonna barf why r u guys being so cute on my tl i didnt ask for this

-> uso_pp: i second this

-> im[name]: yall jus b homophobic huh?

-> dni_nami: DO NOT EVEN TRY TWISTIN IT THAT WAY [NAME] ILL KILL YOU

-> im[name]: LMFKAOAOAO

robinkills: very cute post of you two <3

-> returnto[name]: THANK U ROBIN HAHA

liked by im[name], uso_pp, and 10k others

returnto[name]: i miss my bf :/

tagged: im[name]

uso_pp: "i miss my bf" yall saw each other THIS MORNING im beggin u to stfu

-> im[name]: usopp wanna come over and play games w me and luffy later

-> uso_pp: yeah im down

princesanji: i cannot believe this idiot got a significant other before me...

-> dni_nami: i can

-> roro.zoro: i can

-> skullnsoul: i can

-> SUPERCOLA: i can

im[name]: imy too lu, but we saw each other this morning 😭😭 ill b back after classes soon

-> returnto[name]: why couldnt u jus bring me?

-> im[name]: pls we cannot keep arguing abt this

liked by returnto[name], robinkills, and 8k others

dni_nami: its crazy how the only person who can remotely calm luffy down is [name], i respect him

tagged: returnto[name] and im[name]

im[name]: hes just a little pookie cutie wootie patootie

-> dni_nami: i think i might block u

-> roro.zoro: wtf does rhis even mean.

-> dr.law: none of these words were in the bible

returnto[name]: I LOVE CUDDLING WITH [NAME] hes so comfy 🥰

-> dni_nami: we know ur loud snores were enough to show how comfy u were

-> robinkills: i was wondering what that sound was.

SUPERCOLA: MY FAVORITE COUPLE THEYRE SO CUTE

-> im[name]: i love u franky ur so sweet <3

im[name]'s story:

happy 3 yr anniversary w my absolute heart (@)returnto[name] TO MANY MORE

returnto[name] replied to your story: I LOVE YOU [NAME] HAHA

liked by im[name], dni_nami, robinkills, ans 15k others

returnto[name]: im hungry 😋

tagged: im[name]

im[name]: babe wtf do u mean by that caption 😭😭

-> returnto[name]: im hungryyyyy

roro.zoro: average gym buddy.

-> im[name]: yessiirrr

-> returnto[name]: thanks thats my boyfriend 😋

boahancock: well...this is definitely a photo

-> returnto[name]: thanks photo creds go to me because im his boyfriend 😋

purrrona: shit [name] looks rlly good here DAMN

-> returnto[name]: yeah hes my boyfriend 😋

dni_nami: THATS [NAME]??? WHAT THE FUCK

-> returnto[name]: yes!!! thats my boyfriend [name] :DDD

uso_pp: luffy what is going on in these comments......

-> returnto[name]: nothing i just love MY boyfriend

-> im[name]: lu 😭😭😭

princesanji: why does the idiot look good here...

-> dni_nami: damn not sanji hoppin in this LMFOAOA

-> returnto[name]: THANKS THATS MY BOYFRIEND IN THE PHOTO :PPP

[frogchiro]

hi me again i know its not eremites but my brain has been HAAAUUNNNNTEEED by omegaverse and COD i just know for a fact Ghost n Price share a role as "leader" of the pack, more Price than Ghost (warrior cat brain: DEPUTY GHOST *WACK*) and yes the entire pack takes care of their sweet omega but they feel the most weight of keeping her happy n healthy :<< Ughehrgrgrgrr Ghost is a silent lover, (this can really apply for annnnnyy au im just barfing my brain out here) brushing your hair out of your face as you sleep, cheek smooshed against your pillow. Oh my god you know that man would invest in silk pillow cases if you mentioned that silk is better for your skin n hair. That one stuffie you can't seem to sleep without, it never seems to get dirty, you don't think much of it. That's cause Ghost brushes it out for you, making sure theres no limp neck syndrome either (basically the fluff gets separated from body n head leaving none for neck) mention that you like a certain snack? or found a childhood snack you had but could never find after a certain point? at least 5 of them in the cupboard, 2 if they come in big packs.

John loves to spend time together with his sweet girl, he doesnt often have the time for it but when he does he loves to savour it. Loves Loves Loves being able to have you on his lap, a cigar in one hand, the other on your waist and a whiskey on the table next to his recliner. Memorizes your routine, if you have somewhere to be that you have to wake up for, he wakes you up, very gently. Kisses against your shoulder, traveling to your face. Kissing your cheek before turning you onto your back, just admires your relaxed face before he whispers your name. ASS!! GRABBER!!! grabs your ass, sure here n there he'll greet you with a gentle spank but he. grabs. ASS. He memorizes your coffee order too!! He may tease you a bit if it something like, 80% cream, 12% sugar and 8% coffee but still. sniffle snorgle so sorry for the long ask snifhghgrngr i love them. and i LOVE your blog, been following for a super long time, found you from pierro tags and just been obsessed. Take care of yourself okay?? MWAH (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

AHHHH THANK YOU FOR THE KIND WORDS DARLING *MWUAH* I'm really glad you like my humble little blog so much and stick around for such a long time <3

I'm gonna go with omegaverse with these again bc I'm obsessed :<

And yes yes you're right!! Alpha Si is a silent lover but he's so expressive when he wants to be! If you're close enough you'll see all the little things; ticks, micro expressions even with the balaclava and/or mask, the little noises like chuffs or rumbles, everything! It's like a whole new world opens up and that's when makes being mated to Ghost beautiful <3

And he can be surprisingly clingy and touchy too! Definitely not right from the start but give him time and soon you'll have a 6'3 baby clinging onto you. What he may lack in verbal communication he compensates with physical affection and little noises; he will literally purr like an engine and make little chirrups in answer to your own as you nuzzle and preen each other in your nest.

Another thing about him are his surprisingly strong nesting instincts! He never really got to make a nest, or rather felt safe enough to do it. With his past, his father who always mocked him for nesting it never felt right until he got with you. Will take up the whole bed and literally roll in it so it's covered with his scent and pheromones and let out a pleased rumble when he finally deems his den good enough and safe before dumping you in it <3

Alpha!Price on the other hand loves quality time spent with you <3 He's much more verbal with you than Si and is quite touch himself in the privacy of his office or den, will always try and keep a hand on you and never let you out of his sight. He's the oldest of the alphas, much more mature and secure in his position as head alpha but will bellow and growl like crazy if he went out for a second out of the den to check up on something and upon returning he notices that you're not there anymore only for you to return from the bathroom confused what's all the commotion about.

Would never admit it out loud but he loves loves loves scenting you! Especially if you're on base with him. John has a strong masculine smell that screams 'ALPHA' in the most pleasant way; will make you go weak in the knees just from a whiff <3

Likes to rub on you when you're laying in your nest at night, his face shoved right into your scent glands and your delighted giggles bring him immense joy as he tickles you with his beard <3

[rotting-butterscotch]

so uh i just rewatched community for the 3rd, and possibly the last, time, and I'm gonna rant about it, especially because it's being taken off Netflix this month.

Community is literally the #1 best fucking show on this planet (with Brooklyn 99 and The Good Place being a 2 and 3), and no one can tell me otherwise. The writing is so fucking beautiful (except the writing of the romantic entanglements within the group, but im sure the fandom knows that already), and can be so funny yet heartbreaking at the same time.

Let's take "Geothermal Escapism" for an example (which to point out how amazing the writing is, has never failed to make me cry at the end of it). The symbolism of the hot lava game, the fact that Troy had to play into the whole "clone" thing just for Abed to be able to cope with him leaving (which proves yet again how much Troy and Abed do for eachother, and yes that *is* one of the reasons I ship trobed, but let's not get off-track more than we already have lol), the group saying all their good-byes at the end, and the way those good-byes characterize them so perfectly, it's literally a masterpiece of an episode.

And the fact that the viewers as a whole were supposed to just forget all of that the next episode baffles me, like make up your mind Dan Harmon, are you gonna make the best show of all time or ruin it by shoving jeffannie down our throats at the last episode???? (sorry, went off track)

Anyways, back to the writing: it's beautiful, but can be so dumb at the same time. Like, another example: "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television", a.k.a. the finale, which not only kind of does a call-back to s1 Jeff and Abed (Abed being ready to let go and embrace the future, and Jeff being so against it), but omggg the symbolism towards the end, where Jeff has driven Abed and Annie to the airport, and he's hugging them good-bye, and Jeff goes in for a second hug, because yet again he's afraid of change, and you can tell Abed is confused, but he goes with it anyways, because he gets it (actually I'm making this point based off of a comment under a compilation of Jeff and Abed, but whatever).

Jeff and Abed in s6 is literally Abed and Jeff in s1, and not only then, but literally everywhere in the series, you can tell how alike they are, how their traumas and troubles are so alike, yet they dealt with it differently, one with acceptance and one with denial.

And another point about how the writing can be so dumb sometimes: how can you literally point to jeffannie being an illogical and impossible ship, and literally have both members of this ship finally realize how unhealthy it in the *same* episode as is that ship's kiss scene?!?! Like, how does that make sense.

Anyways, my conclusion to this rant is: there's no conclusion lol, I just wanted to barf out all of my thoughts on this show onto here (and these aren't even all my thoughts on this show lol), as incoherent as they are. I'll miss this show so bad😭😭.

[drdemonprince]

Im sure some of them have been way over a line but if you’re feeling petulant at vulnerable disabled people saying fuck yall to society imagine how we feel to see someone “reticent” to talk about covid issues because “people take it too far”. Sorry that’s probably not entirely fair I’m just so fuucking sick of it. Like of course their exceptions to masking. But don’t tell me how to speak after what I’ve been through. The paternalism makes me want to throw up

Yeah, I think a lot of people think this is about tone policing disabled people who are rightly outraged and despairing, and that's really not what it's about.

This is about the Joe Bidens and Lori Lightfoots of the world blaming covid spread on individuals behaving badly, while systematically dismantling the very social programs that would have made it possible for anyone to behave "well."

There are two conversations happening here that keep getting flattened because of context collapse on the internet. There is the conversation about which feelings disabled and high risk people are allowed to voice. there is no virtue in tone policing that. Disabled people need to express their hurt, hopelessness, and outrage, and no one can stop them from doing that. no one should stop them from doing that. It is not an act of shaming for them to say how they feel. it's important.

There is a separate, more tactical conversation to be had about which kinds of messaging are effective in altering behavior. This is the question for the public health researchers and the activists and the people planning outreach. We have to be able to talk about what works and what doesn't and why.

Just as disabled people who are despairing about COVID have the right to express their pain, disabled people also have a right to discuss how to best movement build and influence public behavior.

I am gonna talk about what the research shows about persuasion and why a lot of organizations are utterly fumbling in influencing people's COVID mitigation behaviors, and I do that because I care about those things changing. I have no interest in silencing my comrades who are experiencing deep grief and terror and outrage and wish to express that, and certainly no one will be silencing me. Even if listening to people who do find masking and social distancing hard and trying to meet them where they are at so that we can practice harm reduction does make you want to barf.

It's understandable you feel that way, and you don't have to do that kinda work. it's work I have the bandwidth for though as someone who also finds doing the "right" things hard here. no amount of people being mad about that is gonna change the fact that strict COVID mitigation adherence is difficult for me. if that fact becomes unspeakable, my behavior wont become perfect, it will just become more secretive.

a person can be angry at me for not being perfect and that's their right but it won't "fix" my behavior. it will just make me feel like a murderer for having pressing, life or death needs of my own. conversely, someone listening to me and caring about me and helping me meet my needs while also reducing my risks helps a whole ton. and so I try to extend that to others as best I can.

[blue-sadie]

Fuck Up

Lo'ak x Nerd Reader

Series Masterlist

Prt 4 of the Fucking The Nerd Series

Summary: it's going great till someone appears at his front step

Warning: none

Yn/3rd person pov

Its been a few months since neteyam left and lo'ak has improved a lot he doesn't fuck other girls, takes me out on dates and cuddles me after sex and lets us watch tv while we recover.

"f-fuck" i panted i riding out my orgasm as lo'ak's hands ran over my body "dam I love how your boobs bounce" he growled out and groaned out as I slowly came to a stop.

Giggling to myself as I lifted myself off of him and planted myself down next to him "I can't believe you have to leave now" he grumbled.

I smiled rolling myself off the bed to get dressed "I have to my brother is coming over for a visit" I murmured slipping on my skirt and clipping on my bra.

"I don't see why he only comes for one day" he huffed and getting up and wrapping his arms around me stopping me from putting my shirt on.

"Come on lo'ak" I giggled squirming in his hold "but I don't want my baby to leave" he chuckled kissing my neck.

"But I have to" I smiled kissing his cheek, he groaned and let me go and put on his sweats as I put on his shirt.

"Come on I'll walk you down stairs" he murmured grabbing his hand and kissed my knuckles and lead me out his room and down the stairs.

"Text me when you get home" he said opening the door and gasping as a beautiful girl stood in the door "oh hi nete" she sung sweetly it made me want to barf.

"I- ari'ek what are y-you doing here" he stuttered letting go of my hand "oh I just came to see my one and only love but whose this" she smiled but it dropped when she turned to me.

"Oh a-ah this, this is yn my a-ah g-girlfriend" he stuttered and ushered me out and only gave me a half assed goodbye before bringing her inside "back to square one".

When I got home I sent him a text saying I got home safe but he left me on read I bit my lip and decided to talk to him after supper.

-time skip-

"Uh.... hey lo'ak your phone keeps going to voice mail and I just wanted to say it hurt my feelings that you kinda just passed me off like that" I murmured.

"I-Im gonna go goodnight" I said before hanging up and stuffing it into my pocket "hey whats up pipesqueak" my brother said as he leaned onto my door frame.

"Nah its nothing it's just some boy troubles" I huffed "while I have an offer for you" I tilted my head his words intriguing me.

"Well if the boy gives you more trouble you can always come stay by me" he murmured and I actually began to think about it "yea I think I might".

-Next day-

I smiled as I walked through the school hallway and as I came close to my locker I saw lo'ak "hi" I smiled and hugged him before before opening up my locker.

"Did you get my text" I asked "oh no I ah ari'ek stayed over last night and had my phone" he murmured "she had your phone" I questioned he hardly ever let me see his phone.

"What did she mean by one and only love" I asked closing my locker "oh we used to date way before us" he bit his lip and tried to change the subject.

Till she popped up and dragged him off using the excuse of not wanting to get lost "fucking bitch" I muttered and stormed off to class.

-Time skip-

"Yn what the fuck" lo'ak yelled as he pulled me to the side of the hall "what" I whispered clenching my books to my chest.

"Why would you hit ari'ek" he muttered I looked at him confused "I didn't" but he didn’t believe me "I can't date a bully" he snapped.

I was taken a back by his out burst "b-but" I didn't know what to say "you know what just leave us alone" he growled and left and down the hall ari'ek was laughing along with kanu.

Tears streamed down my face as I left it was the last day so they didn't care if I left and I went straight home not looking up for anyone.

"H-hey bro I accept your offer"

Tag.List

@avatar4eva @lik0 @greekgods15 @sweetirilly

[cheesysoup-arlo]

Cady’s Cousin (pt.2)

(pt. 1)/(pt. 3)/(pt. 4)

A/N: sorry this is mostly like “texting” also the relationship/couples I have in here are (karen and gretchen), (cady and regina), later I’ll add (janis and reader) and maybe (aaron and kevin g) idk maybe lol I won’t be tagging the ships since they’re not the main ship I hope y’all liked this lol

(Sunday 8:30pm)

*Cady created a group chat*

Cads 🦁: hey guys I made this group chat so (Y/N) can get to know you guys, you guys can get to know them, and just for fun 👍

???(1): aw Cady that’s so sweet, this is Aaron by the way lol

(Y/N): can everyone send their name please 🙏

???(2): karen 💕

???(3): Beyoncé

???(4): that’s Damian ^, this is janis 👾

Damian🌟: janis you’re no fun this is homophobia

Janis👾: yeah I hate the gays 🙄

karen💕: ??? u hat me 😞

Janis👾: no not you karen just Damian

karen💕: o okie 😽

???(5): the hottest bitch you’ll meet

(Y/N): hi Regina

Cads🦁: Y/N!!!

(Y/N): cads chill I know she’s off limits

Regina👛: aw baby you’re so cute when you’re jealous

Janis👾: barf 🤮

(Y/N): 😭😭😭

(Y/N): wait where’s Gretchen?

karen💕: sleping 😴

Damian🌟: Important question! Y/n are you one of them queers?

(Y/N): I would be offended if you thought I wasn’t

*damian has named group chat “fruit loops”*

Janis👾: I-

(Y/N): oh that’s-

Damian🌟: OK STOP BEING HOMOPHOBIC TO THE GAY BLACK MAN IM A MINORITY HERE

Regina👛: how’s everyone feeling about school tomorrow? I’m kind of excited mostly because the school cheese fries just hit different yk?

Cads🦁: I’m excited too but for classes I picked an extra math class this year

(Y/N): ha nerd 🤓

(Y/N): I’m nervous lol but at least I have you guys

Janis👾: I’m not excited I hate school it keeps me from doing more important things

(Y/N): like what?

Janis👾: sleeping

Damian🌟: I’m excited I decided that I’m gonna take the new senior only theater class which is a little out of my comfort zone but I’ll manage

Aaron🧍‍♂️: I was supposed to be graduated last year so I’m not excited at all

(Y/N): YOU GOT HELD BACK?!?! WHAT?!?!

Aaron🧍‍♂️: yeah I failed English and history so I couldn’t graduate

Cads🦁: it’s ok Aaron now you get to be with us for another year 😊

(Sunday 11:50pm) fruit loops

(Y/N): guys I can’t sleep

Janis👾: same I’ve been lying very still and it’s not working

Damian🌟: janis did you take the melatonin I gave you?

Janis👾: yeah but it’s not working 😔

Damian🌟: welp that’s a you problem then

(Monday 2:30am) fruit loops

(Y/N): do you think I can fit 40 mini marshmallows in my mouth?

Janis👾: oh absolutely

(Y/N): omg ur still awake too?

Janis👾: yeah lol

(Y/N): I just put 35 mini marshmallows in my mouth idk if I can fit more

Janis👾: if you fit all 40 I’ll give you 5 bucks

(Y/N): challenge accepted

(Monday 2:37am) fruit loops

(Y/N): I fit all 40 and almost choked lmao

Janis👾: lmao nice your $5 will be given at school

(Y/N): yippieeee

(Y/N): dude I literally can’t sleep

Janis👾: wanna call? That’s what me and Damian used to do before he got a good sleep schedule lmao

(Y/N): um sure me and my friend back home used to do that too

*incoming call from Janis👾*

“Hi” you whispered suddenly feeling a little more tired with her company even if it was only over the phone “hey” janis said with a small yawn “nice shirt” you say seeing her Lego movie shirt “oh um thanks” she says with a laugh “so what’s up?” “Let’s take turns asking each other questions until we fall asleep” you say with a little yawn “hmm ok favorite color?” She asks you “ooo definitely (your favorite color), how about you?” “Hmm either green or purple” “ooo good choice, hmm hobbies?” “I sing and write a little but I guess art even though I don’t consider it a hobby it’s more of a lifestyle” “art? Can I see some?” “Yeah sure I’ll show you some stuff tomorrow” you both yawn “shit it’s 3 am” janis sighs “fuck” you chuckle sleepy “um I’m getting tired” janis says with a tired laugh “me too” you say starting to close your eyes “good night (y/n)” “good night Janis” you say with a yawn falling asleep as she hangs up

Monday 5:30am

“Pst…(y/n)? You gotta wake up” your cousin said lightly shaking you “ugh five more minutes” you mumbled “no come on up you gotta get ready” she insisted, you got up against your body begging to go back to sleep “good morning sleepy head” Cady said with an enthusiastic smile “cads what time is it?” “5:33” “doesn’t school start at like 8:30?” “No it starts at 8 and I wanted to make sure you had enough time to get ready and have breakfast, breakfast is very important” “uh huh…mm thanks cads” you say with a yawn deciding to get up and look through your clothes “meet me in my room when you’re done getting dressed, ok?” Cady said “um ok?” You said grabbing your favorite jeans and shirt then going to look for your jacket as your cousin left

(Monday 5:40 am) fruit loops

Gretchen🌷: good morning everyone soooo so sorry for not texting yesterday I went to bed early

Regina👛: it’s ok Gretch don’t worry about it

Regina👛: also damn I think Janis and (y/n) our new insomniac duo

(Y/N): unfortunately yes I’m so fucking tired also good morning Gretchen

Aaron🧍‍♂️: why are you guys up so early it’s not even six yet? I literally woke up because of all the buzzing

(Y/N): cads woke me up :(

Regina👛: my skincare and makeup routine take like and hour

Gretchen🌷: I like mornings ☀️

You finished getting ready and headed over to Cady’s room like she asked you to. “What’s up cads?” “Eee (y/n) ok so first of all how are you feeling about your first day” “a little nervous and tired I only got like 2 and a half hours of sleep” “oh goodness (y/n) why didn’t you sleep sooner?”cady says concerned “Because I wasn’t tired?” You half joked. Cady hands you a paper. “That’s a map of the school the way Janis sees it she gave it to me on my first day I feel like it could be helpful for you” “oh um wow thanks cads” you say giving her a half hug. Your aunt knocks on Cady’s open door “hey girls good morning” “good morning mom” Cady says enthusiastically, you yawn “morning” you say with a small smile “I’ve got to head to work but I’m assuming you girls have a ride?” “Yeah Aaron’s gonna pick us up I think?” Cady answers “alright I love you two, be on your best behavior and call me or text me if you need me” your aunt says as she leaves “bye” you and Cady say at the same time. You head to the kitchen and pour yourself a bowl of cereal

(Monday 6:40am) fruit loops

Regina👛: my mom is doing a coffee run what does everyone want?

Damian🌟: iced coffee, oat milk, vanilla

Gretchen🌷: just the usual for me and Karen

Janis👾: iced coffee, oat milk, lavender

(Y/N): um (your coffee order) please

Cads🦁: can you just get me a tea?

Regina👛: yeah of course I’ll get your favorite

Aaron🧍‍♂️: regular coffee, cream and sugar please

Regina👛: ok also who’s picking up who today? I can get Karen and Gretchen as usual

Aaron🧍‍♂️: my mom said I don’t have car privileges this week so I can’t give anyone a ride

Damian🌟: I can get janis for sure but if anyone else needs a ride I can get them too

Cads🦁: can you give (Y/N) and I a ride please we’re ready whenever you are 👍

Damian🌟: yeah I’ll be over in 10 then we’ll go get Janis because I know she’s not ready yet

Janis👾: I would be offended but it’s true

Regina👛: alright meet at our usual spot?

Aaron🧍‍♂️: 👍

Damian🌟: sounds good see y’all soon

[the-kipsabian]

.

[disco-tea]

Okay so obviously in Lover’s Walk, the point of Spike’s dislike and commentary on Buffy and Angel and saying it “makes him want to heave” is because in that episode he’s playing the somewhat cynical but brutally honest voice of reason. The voice of the narrative. BUT because Fool for Love recontextualizes literally everything after Becoming ii it means that from a Watsonian point of view Spike gets told he’s deep down in love with Buffy, digs his heels in and says “NOPE. Absolutely not. I’m so not in love with Buffy that im gonna go back to Sunnydale. Because im angry! Obviously. Not because its suddenly like the center of the whole world and thats where Buffy is. That would be stupid!” And then he gets there only to find Angel is very much still around and ensouled and Buffy still likes him and he’s like everything is Awful. I’m going to BARF. I hate it here. I’m going to kill myself.

[27-royal-teas]

literally on my knees begging for the phoenix essay because it’s my all time fave fall out boy song and it makes me feel emotions on the shrimp spectrum

ok!! well!! ask and you shall receive, dear anon, your wish is my command :)) and because i love when people are excited about what i have to say and you are very nice <33 however, i will warn you, this is less of a structured essay and more of a massive infodump, so be warned !!

OK SO. THE PHOENIX. first off musically it's a fantastic song. and its actually scientifically proven that typically strings are used to increase musical tension and emotional tension so usually when you hear fast strings it means that they (the artist) want you to feel stressed, angry, or excited. We can apply this to the beginning of The Phoenix specifically because fob wants you to get hyped!!! It's their opening song for their newest album and for them, this shit is TERRIFYING. will you still want them or will you skip to another song? It's such a stark contrast to the first line of cork tree ("brothers and sisters, put this record down") because they want you to do the exact opposite of that. This is the one they want to use to hook you, to pull you in. Fall Out Boy is back, and this time they've brought even more intensity than before. They want to know: will you still be here? will you listen? these strings are not quite the old fall out boy, will you find them compelling and stick around?

andys drum work on this song is also INCREDIBLE. It's got this pounding, heavy beat. i constantly say that andy is the backbone of the band and i feel like that's more musically apparent in this song than anything. If i really want to scrounge for symbolism, I can say that by making andy's drumbeat stand out so much more in this song, the band is saying that they as a whole are more stable and reliable, just like their backbone. the drummer keeps the beat, the pace. they keep the band on track. together, the instruments (drum, strings, bass) bring the song together into a really rounded sound and it feels so FULL. there are some songs that are spiky, but this one is round all the way through.

and now that we're through with talking about the music itself, let's talk about the lyrics. i love the lyrics in this song so fucking much. it's so pete wentz and even more than that it's the most perfect song to open with. im gonna try to discuss every line and how it relates to the album and fall out boy's history at the time of release + they message they attempt to convey with this song and album. ive been wanting to make an essay on this for a while actually so thank you for giving me this ask as an opportunity to barf my stupid brain out onto tumblr

ok anyway let's start off with the first line-- "put on your war paint". this line is repeated twice: the very beginning and the very end. Why? because it's bold. this album is called save rock and roll. it is giving us a mission to accomplish from the very start. we are gearing up for a war. this is the image that is being painted of the entire album, and it starts from the very beginning- put on your war paint, prepare for battle. the first song is us (cough, the band, cough) preparing for the war as a whole. this is the intro, the gather, the plan. because we are saving rock and roll, through this album. this is the revival. we are bringing it home. this part musically is very strong and it feels like structure. we are showing here how much power and stability we have. also it makes me think of that one picture of pete putting on eyeliner

i am skipping the entire first verse for now but i will be back to it in a bit i promise! i want to talk about the chorus: “hey Youngblood/ doesn’t it feel/ like our time is running out/ im gonna change you like a remix/ then I’ll raise you like a phoenix”. we’re just going to go over the first half first because it’s kind of long. I think it’s in interesting choice, ‘Youngblood’. it kind of makes me think of mcr’s killjoys. it’s the motif, i guess— this haunting youth. ‘Youngblood’ addresses us ourselves, full of life and blood and rage. it again goes with the plot line of the album. the chorus has a paced feel, like running through a field at top speed. ‘like our time is running out’ references again the portion of ‘we were gone for so long, will you still listen?’ fall out boy’s limited time is nearly out here. they are fighting the clock. they are years older and more mature and they’ve GROWN. their time is running out and they are begging us to listen. and then my FAVORITE line, probably in this whole song. ‘I’m gonna change you like a remix, then I’ll raise you like a phoenix’. This entire album is a result of change. Folie a Deux was harshly criticized by the media and the fans because it was a change from fob’s norm. they were mocked mercilessly and basically TOLD TO CHANGE. now, here, they are back, they have made it through alive, and they are better than ever. basically, they have changed but on their own terms. you know how a phoenix is reborn through their ashes? They burn to a crisp when they’ve reached their limit and 100 years later are reborn as babies again. This is why the phoenix is such an important song to open with from the beginning of the album, as well as a fantastic metaphor for the band themselves— because it tells you from the start. Fall out boy is the same, but they have changed. They have grown. And they are better than ever, musically and mentally. This is also good symbolism for rising again even when defeated, which I’ll touch on again later

now, onto the second half of the chorus. The phoenix line is repeated, but preceding that is "wearing our vintage misery/ no, i think it looked a little better on me". fall out boy is kind of known as being part of the 'emo trinity' which, at the time of release, consisted of MCR, FOB and Panic! At The Disco. Personally id replace panic with paramore just because i dislike brendon urie strongly but thats just me. anyway, emo as a subculture in itself is incredibly emotional, and that's the point- emo is short for emotional. (feel free to correct me about any of this at any point of time btw, i am in no way an expert). a consistent trend was a lot of black clothing and the haircuts. i guess this isnt relevant. the relevant part was the emotion. fall out boy in 2009 was miserable. all the members were constantly at each other's throats, and eventually they just called it quits (everyone thought they would never come back, which is why the phoenix metaphor works here). by saying 'wearing our vintage misery' they are saying that they are bringing back that sort of emo-emotional aspect back into their new music, their trademark depressing lyrics, but it's improved. it's a better look on them now because they are doing so much better mentally than they were doing before.

let's backtrack a step to discuss the prechorus: "so we can take the world back from a heart attack/ one maniac at a time we will take it back/ you know time crawls on when you're waiting for the song to start so dance alone to the beat of your heart". pete fucking went OFF in this entire song but this section specifically. musically, the prechorus slows it down. it gives the song tension before exploding into the chorus. the first half of the prechorus again brings up the image of SAVE ROCK AND ROLL. i cant exactly recall what horrific events happened in 2013 to give the world a metaphorical heart attack, because i was very young and stupid and unaware of a lot, but i love the word choice here. one MANIAC at a time we will take it back. we are uniting the beaten, the broken and the damned. pretty much all the big names in emo have made their alliances clear: we take in the ones you don't want. they are the hufflepuffs of music. we will take your maniacs, we will take your people. we will build an army of the ones no one loves and we will take back our world together. possibly im interpreting this wrong but. i just think that's a really lovely image.

(also, pete has a motif in his songs-- mania. theres the entire album, for one, but this, as well.)

"time crawls on when youre waiting for the song to start so dance alone to the beat of your heart" is less obviously clear about rebellion and taking back change but it still is incredibly strong about this nonetheless. you can't sit and wait around for change. you can't expect the good things to come to you immediately, that isn't how the world works. when no one is there to lead you, to guide you, you're gonna have to do it yourself. your heart is steady and it knows the way. trust it. dance alone to the beat of your heart.

ok so now im going back to the first verse. sorry for skipping around the song so much. "you are a brick tied to me that's dragging me down/ strike a match and i'll burn you to the ground" i feel like honestly this line is kind of obvious- someone is holding him (pete) back. i'm not going to outright say it was about ashlee (his current ex-wife) because pete never explicitly confirmed it but it definitely seems super likely judging by the time this was written (pete and ashlee divorced in 2011, which was two years before this song was released).

at this point in writing this essay brain barf my thoughts have become a little dead so im looking at lyricgenius to see what they're saying and it is. so not helpful. like bro pls. add some context to WHY these lyrics are arranged this way. but never mind that FOCUS ON THE WRITING TOBY FUCK

ANYWAY. the next line in this verse is "we are the jack o' lanterns in july, setting fire to the sky/ here, here comes with this rising tide, so come on/ put on your war paint". another theme constantly in Pete Wentz Lyrics is summer. i am drawing the connection here specifically from this song and fourth of july. and there it is again! put on your war paint!

fun fact: the story of the jack o lantern apparently is that some guy named jack made a bargain with satan and was doomed to wander the earth with only the company of a hollowed out turnip. again-- the wanderers. we bring in the wanderers, we take them as our own. we are the light in the darkness. we will set the world ablaze. so come on! get ready for war! we will roll in with the tide, and like a tide, we will destroy if we have to, not because we want to, but because it is in our nature.

final line in the verse: "cross walks and crossed hearts and hope to die/ silver clouds with grey lining". these are two popular phrases that have been altered in minor ways that make a huge difference. ive noticed pete tends to do that often. here hes changed 'cross my heart and hope to die' and 'every cloud has a silver lining'. this change is super important because it flips the themes of the two phrases (The Truth Has Been Spoken and There Is Always a Positive, respectively) and it darkens it. what is the correlation between cross walks and hoping to die? the cars. and by saying 'silver clouds with grey lining' he is flipping the saying to read as 'even though something seems light, there is always a dark side... kind of like a yin yang. which makes me think of the current logo, the smiley-frown. it's always about balance and it's always about an even distribution. but that is irrelevant.

and let's have a chat about the second verse: "bring home the boys in scraps/ scrap metal the tanks/ get hitched, make a career out of robbing banks/ because the world is just a teller and we are wearing black masks/ 'you broke our spirit' says the note we pass". this is the most important verse in the song, because this is where the entire theme shows the best. i think from the very start we can make two connections just reading this here, and i bet i can guess what you thought from the start. I bet you saw 'bring home the boys in scraps' and thought oh, toby is totally going to connect that to their motif about 'bring together the unwanted.' and i bet you saw 'we are wearing black masks' and thought ah, toby will definitely relate that to the first line in novocaine. and yeah, you're right. you know me too well, i am a predictable guy. because i 100% will. we KNOW fall out boy. the best example i can use to argue my first point off the top of my head is that they were initially marketed to teenage girls. they were a pop band. i mean, no one can really call them pop now (god, i miss music from the 2000s) but, yeah. no one in the rock or punk scene wanted teenage girls to like their music (because clearly teenage girls were so uncool or whatever) so fall out boy marketed themselves to them. they took in the fans no one wanted.

also, a bank teller is the person who handles customer cash, which is something i did not know until about twenty minutes ago. in the case of a bank robbery, the robber would pass the bank teller a note so that there would be less of a scene. these kind of robberies are called 'note jobs'. so by saying "make a career out of robbing banks/ because the world is just a teller and we are wearing black masks/ 'you broke our spirit' says the note we pass" essentially the band is using a bank robbery as a metaphor for taking back the world and the injustice that has been served to them, as the youth youngbloods. we are trying to take it back as peacefully as possible, but we are still the ones on the side with the gun. the 'note we pass' is the robbery note. lyricgenius was absolutely shit it did not help me with this i feel very proud that i connected all the dots by myself but maybe i am just an idiot and this is already common knowledge.

we are almost done- this has gotten long, a lot longer than i thought it was going to be. hope that's okay. anyway we just have to go over the bridge and then i'll summarize the song as a whole: "the war is won before it's begun/ release the doves, surrender love". this repeats five times. the war is won before it's begun. this is connected to the second part- release the doves, surrender love- because the band doesn't really WANT to fight. they don't want to HAVE to take in the people who aren't given a category. if we could just learn to love those who were different, we might not have war. we would have won it before it's begun. on the third repeat, there is chanting in the background-- 'wave the white flag'. the white flag is a sign of surrender pretty much universally, and it goes hand in hand with what's being said here. and again. i feel like i keep repeating this- it's the intro song. why would they say this? because they don't really want to fight. remember, the point of a note job is to attract as little attention as possible. we don't want a war. we don't WANT to save rock and roll- but we have to. it is our job, as youth- as youngbloods. and THAT'S the message of this song. we are preparing for a fight for justice that we would rather not take part in, but we have to, to protect ourselves and our past and our future and our people.

this is what the band is saying-- we have been gone for so long, but we are back. and we are here to help. we have changed, but you have changed too, and we are better, and together we will take back what we have lost to achieve peace, even if it takes a millenia, even if we go down fighting. because ultimately, we, ourselves, the ostracized and the mocked and the hurt, we are worth it. We will rise above it like a phoenix reborn from the ashes because we are always worth it, and we will always come back.