#goo swamp

[thecrowslullaby]

Spamming with more butterfly!Janus pictures bc it's what I deserve <3

[villainihavedonethymotheronao3]

AU where the rage of seeing his brother with That Witch triggers his curse and Philip has a horrifying transformation that he can’t control. He does still very much try to kill Caleb but Caleb assumes it’s the curse and he and his wife and some townsfolk manage to subdue him.

Since Philip can’t figure out how to turn back yet and being a ten foot swamp monster does make it hard to carry out his wicked plans, he lets himself be soothed. Caleb explains that it’s alright, he’ll find a cure, and they’ll stay with his wife’s family in the meantime. Internally Philip is seething but he figures it’s best to play nice. He doesn’t have many other options.

It takes him decades to figure out how to temporarily reverse his transformation and in that time he gets 5 satanic nieces and nephews who are very fond of using him as a jungle gym. Caleb is constantly fussing and the Clawthornes, though wary at first, have accepted him as a sort of Family Beast. (Caleb didn’t mention the eating palismen thing.) “Yes, that’s our Philip! He’s a bit odd. Made out of grime and muck, can only communicate through deafening roars or by scratching words on the ground. Bit angry but I’d be too under the circumstances.”

The elixir he gets off of a traveling salesman works! But only for a day. And, he realizes rapidly, he can build up a tolerance to it. He needs to ration his use.

The first thing he does is go looking for the Collector, who he did his own research on while trapped with the Clawthornes (nephews are surprisingly useful for turning book pages). Caleb is distraught when he disappears, of course, he runs himself ragged looking for him. But Philip pops back up eventually (plus one mirror tucked in his mud flesh and a plan to kill all witchkind) and the Clawthornes just kind of accept that Philip disappears now.

Since he can’t overuse his new cure he instead sticks close to the Clawthornes, relying on their trust for him as cover while he enacts his plans more subtly. He gets money by murdering people on the road and then uses that to bribe agents. It takes some effort to hold a pen in his larger form but anonymous screeds and books about the purity of magic are almost as convincing as a preacher, especially when accompanied by attacks on border towns by a strange, indescribable monster. There’s a surplus of wild palisman around the Clawthornes, no one notices when a few go missing, everyone assumes that they found new people or new places to live. And when he really needs to make a scene he chugs a potion and goes to spread his message in person.

‘Belos’ is the name of a rabble rouser who won’t show his face, who keeps spreading unsettling stories about the Titan and magic itself. Philip is just a large, unfortunate, slightly sticky guy with eyes everywhere and deer horns. He’s good at lifting heavy things and has a seemingly infinite patience for small children and he sometimes goes into the woods to nap or chase rabbits or something.

Eventually Caleb dies (80, in bed, surrounded by children; it’s more than he deserves, the traitor) but Philip still stays with the Clawthornes. They make a very nice cover story and he does need one as pushback to Belos reaches its peak. Even when his message starts to win the war, when there are more adherents to his makeshift religion than nonbelievers, when his puppet monarch (he used Caleb’s bones, which he had such easy access to, to make a grimwalker and claimed the child was Titan sent) is actually crowned, he stays. The elixir really doesn’t work that often. He needs to save it.

He is, he’ll admit, passingly fond of some of the little mongrels his brother produced. Lilith, for example, is clearly willing to do what it takes to accomplish her goals. Edalyn, on the other hand, spells trouble. He can see it in her strongwilled glare, the way the Collector balks at the curse hanging over her, in that smile so like Caleb’s. Because she’s a very real threat to his rule (and because he could be closer to the castle, his latest grimwalker is getting rebellious and might need replacing) he accompanies her when she runs away from home. Cursed Clawthornes have to stick together, right?

He’s astounded when she stumbles on the portal—the actual portal! He’d thought Caleb destroyed it, guilty that they couldn’t go home. Instead it’s here and it’s whole and he steps through it with her, this little witch with his brother’s blood…

And then they go back. He’s not fit for the human realm, not yet. When all the witches are dead, when he’s cured, then he’ll let himself enjoy air that doesn’t smell like rot.

In the meantime he lives in the Owl House and waits.

[seagullcharmer]

[guy who's only watched gravity falls and the owl house, watching amphibia]: man sure am getting a lot of gravity falls and the owl house vibes from amphibia

[alizalayne]

Whats the ventilation and heat like in the suit head? I can't tell if it would be warmer or more cool to wear in compaison to a faux fur fursuit head. The only thing I worry abt is how durable needlefelting is and if it can be cleaned like a traditional fursuit head. That being said I really hope you continue making these, they're cool as hell 👍🔥👍

Okay first of all I'm super jazzed to be able to talk about this with people, and I kind of went overboard answering this, but thanks for asking! Putting this up in case anyone else is curious.

The main answers to your questions are 1: wool is cooler than acrylic fur and less stinky

2: A fursuit head is a swamp and i am snorkling in it.

I mentioned this in my behind the scenes post and there are pictures there but I literally just made a snorkel out of a snorkel mouthpiece and two collapsible automotive funnels, the kind that you can bend into a shape so that you can get goo into a weird part of your car.

that snorkel piece goes straight out of a vent hole in the inside of the ear and I felted a pink skin flap in front of it and then felted white fiber into that so it just looked like a tuft. it worked perfectly, it's just that I couldn't talk in it that well. But I'm definitely going to keep using it if I can't think of a better mouthpiece for it because as SOON as I breathed inside the head instead of through the snorkel I was like oh my god everyone is living in hell.

You can see it in this picture a little bit. nobody noticed it at all!

My friend had made a much more traditional head with a bigass electric fan in it and he was having more heat issues than I was, because I cannot stress enough that acrylic fur is like, one of the most horrifically hot fabrics you can wear. I don't know how everybody is even alive!! and there's a layer of ACRYLIC BACKING on it! Also check out how "short-pile" my fur is, most of the head is only an inch thick, it's a half-inch bucket head made out of foam covered in maybe 1/3 of an inch of wool? the less space you have between the fibers the less heat gets trapped. I was shocked by how comfortable I was, and I was having migraine symptoms that day and was extra sensitive to heat. The con where we were had the air turned down and it was chilly outside, but I was shocked when I took the head off and shook my hair out and I wasn't even sweating. I had long hair in a wig cap under that thing and I wasn't sweating. It was crazy.

As for cleaning the wool, I cannot find anyone else who has done this who has cleaning tips for me, but the foam is what I'm worried about. After a few hours of wear there's nothing wrong with the wool at all, but i can TELL the foam is ever so slightly nasty, because the foam is polyurethane and wool is what you make hiking socks out of. I have some wool cleaner coming in the mail that's made for delicate needlefelted items like scarves and deposits lanolin, which is what keeps wool "alive" kind of like how you have to care for leather. It's definitely an experiment! Nothing ventured nothing gained!

I don't have an idea in mind for a second head right now and the next thing I want to make is a cowl so I can wear lower-cut tops with this head, but I might try something else if I think of an idea! I'm probably never gonna sell these because I'm weird about selling sculptures for whatever reason. They're like my living beasts.

But I definitely hope this encourages other people who might be interested in bringing needlefelt or other fiber art sensibilities to this space, that would be a massive complement and a high honor to give people a new way to enjoy a hobby that I know means a ton to a lot of people.

[bonefall]

what are the main prey animals that Shadowclan eat in better bones? because in my rewrite, i can only find like 5 british marshland birds, the frogs like canon, and a common lizard, while the other clans have dozens of prey species. I don't think 7 prey species can feed 50 cats for the generations i need them to, yknow?

This is hard to find out because of the unfortunate reality that wetlands are an "unpopular" natural biome. It's hell out there. No one appreciates their local swamps and marshes </3

But I'M here, NUMBER 1 GOO FAN. Quickie on some of the most common species ShadowClan will be hunting, in an English wetland. 5 for your convenience.

Small intro/recap to BB!ShadowClan's food culture; For a mixture of several reasons, including early collaboration and trade with WindClan, living in an area heavily affected by seasonal changes, and cultural pride in being able to eat anything, ShadowClan has one of the most varied diets of any Clan. Mammals, fish, birds, if they can get their mouth on it, they will eat it.

(Yes. This means predators as well. Other Clans will avoid eating predators for culture and taste reasons. ShadowClan finds it offensive to just let good meat rot.)

The most important reason in that list must be stressed; winter is CRUEL to ShadowClan. The RiverClan river is a moving source of water which rarely completely ices over, most animals in ThunderClan don't hibernate, WindClan's rabbits are active in the snow. For most Clans, they will not feel the "bite" of winter until towards the end, when the prey populations crash. ShadowClan feels it immediately.

That's a problem because Prey Item Number 1 Will Surprise you. The most popular prey in ShadowClan is...

1: Ducks.

And with the most common species, mallards, at about 2 pounds on average (with males being slightly larger) you're looking at 5,442 calories each. Enough to feed 15 warriors for a day.

(Note: This estimate is low; actual value would probably be higher. This measurement is taken from this chart which measured whole carcasses and caloric value rounded from 5.9 to 6, and this particular duck was "dressed"-- so its organs, the most valuable part of the animal, were already removed.)

Ducks are SO valuable as prey it's hard to oversell them. They're huge, they're highly nutritious (thiamin, vitamin a, vitamin b, iron), and they're PACKED with fats. They also lay eggs, TONS of them, which ShadowClan will happily snatch from inattentive hens.

The problem with ducks is, they don't stick around in the winter. Mallards might stay if the weather is mild, but if the water starts freezing, they're a-leaving.

That means that right when ShadowClan needs them the most, they'll vanish. If the marsh freezes, which is VERY likely because it's stillwater, they can't access ANYTHING under the ice. So Prey Animal Number 2 ALSO becomes an issue;

2: Carp

Their size and weight varies immensely, but the european carp is a species that AVERAGES 6 - 15 pounds. Using our rough estimation numbers and only a 6 pound fish, that's 10,884 calories. That's a whole Clan fed, if it's rationed perfectly.

Many carp are larger and heavier than cats. Here is a picture of a human fisher with two 5-pound bass so you can get a feel for just how big fish are

The biggest problem with carp, aside from the fact that icy winter conditions will block access to catching them, is that their gallbladders are poisonous. Carp bile is the only dangerous type of bile Clan cats encounter (that I know about so far). When being eaten, Clan cats must take care to gut them gently and remove the organ without spilling toxic green slime everywhere.

(ShadowClan actually collects and uses this bile for other purposes. Dried and diluted, it can be used as a medicine for treating parasites, and wet and mixed into a poultice it can be used to dress wounds. If gargled, it can also dissolve and loosen stuck bones in the throat, VERY important for unknowing kittens who tried to eat cooked bird bones.)

These two are the most common animals in the highly varied ShadowClan diet. Hunt in the shallow marsh, and you're bound to bump into either a duck or a carp at some point.

But when winter rolls in, they start to rely on mammalian prey.

3: Rats

While some rats can breach 2 pounds (SHOUT OUT TO ALL MY NEW YORKERS) most of them only clock in at about half a pound-- 250 grams. That's 1,250 calories. About 3 cats fed.

(NOTE: These estimations of how MANY cats they feed assumes that these bites are being distributed evenly, such as if the animal was being put into a soup or meticulously portioned. It's more likely that a single rat is eaten alone or only shared between two warriors who then bulk up. The sensation of "fullness" is determined by weight rather than caloric value.)

Rats are highly adaptable omnivores, but most of their diet is actually plants! Humans associate them with garbage and filth, and yes, the rats from carrionplace would certainly taste awful. But most of the rats ShadowClan catches would be living in natural conditions, eating nuts, fruits, and smaller animals. So it doesn't make sense that canon sees ALL rats as dirty-- they should actually be a HUGE part of a warrior's diet!

Especially in ShadowClan, where the invasive brown rat has all but eliminated the native black rat population. Brown rats are huge, thick-tailed, excellent swimmers who stick around in the winter and find themselves right at home in a marsh or swamp.

In fact, ShadowClan thinks hunting them is a two-way blessing. A cat stays fed through the winter, and more resources are freed up for the rarer, but more delicious water vole. ThunderClan isn't the only Clan that understands population management.

And speaking of...

4: Squirrels

Significantly smaller than carp and ducks, gray squirrels are usually about 500 grams. I've heard it said that they triple in mass over the winter, but since I'm not sure if that means they triple in weight, I'll simply rule that a wintertime gray squirrel is 1000 grams. Which means about 5,000 calories, enough to feed 14 cats.

...but also. don't underestimate how big a squirrel is. You are a 200-pound bipedal ape, these are 10 pound cats. They are also eating all the organs you, a human, would usually toss.

The general term, wetland, refers to all land that is... take a guess... wet. The difference between a marsh and a swamp is that a swamp is wooded land, which means squirrels can live there!

ShadowClan often finds itself in conflict with ThunderClan over squirrels. The native, endangered red squirrel is a cultural icon to ThunderClan and they believe it's important to protect it at all costs by killing gray squirrels whenever possible. ShadowClan, meanwhile, agrees red squirrels are beautiful, but isn't willing to be aggressive with gray squirrel populations to protect them.

5: Cheating

In true ShadowClan fashion I do what I want and use number 5 to babble about several animals they turn into grub

And SPEAKING of grubs, they love to forage for larval treats. They regularly make snacks out of chafer grubs, stag beetle larvae, cutworms, and if they can manage it, baby honeybees. Chafer grubs are their absolute favorite, which is another reason why WindClan is so passionate about maintaining their moorland; when it turns into grassland, ShadowClan is energized to fight for grub foraging space.

The "problem" with the meat of predators is that it's said to be tough and taste strong and unpalatable. ShadowClan doesn't entirely mind it, but if they end up with a predator in spring and summer, they like to use the seasonal stream (called a syke) that cuts across ThunderClan to soak the meat in running water for a few days.

Not to mention that they really will just grab at any animal, in addition to those lizards and frogs they're notorious for. Hedgehogs, crayfish, waterbirds, snails. There's all sorts of spices they'll use to try to season a strange meat, between mushrooms, pellitory, juniper, rosemary, so on.

It's harder to find something they WON'T eat.

[monsters-conquer-the-world]

OOZEPUNK

WHAT IS OOZEPUNK?

Oozepunk is the term I'm coining for the microgenre of urban heroic sci-fi horror-fantasy that first exploded in the mid-80s with movies, shows, and comics like Ghostbusters, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Toxic Avenger, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Hellboy, Street Sharks, and others. Lots of natural crossover with Biopunk and Cyberpunk, aesthetically and philosophically.

Your childhood trauma didn't let you forget Roger Rabbit heavily featured colorful nightmare slime, did it?

A ragtag gang of weirdos (often horribly mutated--more on that soon) band together to save a city that doesn't understand them. Grimy sewers, abandoned buildings and graffiti'd brick walls are lit up by neon lights, streams of mysterious, glowing goo and/or the unearthly lights of futuristic particle weapons--ideally all of the above!

Beyond the "cracked concrete and gutters full of liquid plutonium" aesthetic, Oozepunk prankishly asks "What if catastrophic aberrations of science, particularly DUMPING TOXIC FUCKING WASTE STRAIGHT INTO THE ENVIRONMENT created fucked-up monsters... but they're HEROIC fucked-up monsters!" These catastrophic aberrations of science grant the heroes incredible powers, but COST them their place in human society. (Ghostbusters and Roger Rabbit eschew character mutation in favor of discovering that the undead and olde tymey cartoons are real [and exploitable!], respectively. 'Busters and 'Toon sympathizers alike are treated like insane idiots and/or frauds in their respective universes.)

Oozepunk heroes are challenged not only by strange supernatural beings, but by human society itself. The Ghostbusters battle with local politicians as much as they do the undead. In the recent (and delightful) TMNT: Mutant Mayhem, Splinter warns the Turtles of humans and their obsession with "milking" mutants for their blood--on top of the villainous mutants they're trying to thwart!

Crank up the creep factor in Oozepunk and you get awesome anti-establishment goo-horror like 1988's The Blob, The Stuff, Street Trash, and probably a bunch more. Toxic Avenger is a batshit crazy splatter-comedy (i.e. classic Troma)... and still garnered sequels, a kid's cartoon and toyline!

And there's a Shredder's Revenge-style Crusaders beat-em-up coming out next year??

This looks dope as shit

Ghostbusters and TMNT are the only current, "evergreen" (or radioactive green!) Oozepunk franchises I can think of off the top of my head, but Oozepunk elements are buried in almost all of the stories and settings I love the most. Heroic kaiju like King Kong, Godzilla and Gamera paved the way for our freaky friends, but so did comics characters like Fantastic Four's Ben "The Thing" Grimm, The Hulk and Swamp Thing. Hell, I think I blame SESAME STREET of all things for starting me down the Oozepunk path.

Surprise! I've loved screaming trash monsters with secret hearts of gold since I was a fucking baby, and they've ALWAYS been there for me!

But it's not just Oscar, Sesame Street as a whole is a proto-Oozepunk utopia, years before the big Ooze-splosion of the 80s. Muppets, monsters, talking animals and chill humans all live and work together to scrape by with a little dignity in a gritty-but-wholesome urban world!

Sesame Street, a decades-long reminder that educational childrens' programming can and SHOULD be cool as hell looking and loaded with all kinds of friendly mutant freakuloids.

OOZEPUNK! Whaddya think?

[toastydoll]

My Favorite G1'rs that Need to Come Back

I'm loving the new season of g3 so far, so to celebrate I'm making a list of my personal faves from g1 that I'd love to see in g3 again!! Plus at the end I'm gonna include the monsters I don't personally need but think will probably be back somehow :3

Gooliope Jellington! My late addition queen. I love her goopy design, I love that she's so giant compared to the other boos, I love her circus aesthetic!! Ideally her doll would be ginormous again, plus I think they could integrate some novi stars moonbow slime so she's lava lampish. At her giant size, she could probably even still have articulation plus goo! Her character could also be potentially fascinating in g3--is she the daughter of the Blob? Or are her parents mad human scientists, creating experiment 8108?

Wydowna Spider. Her design is PEAK. A doll with six arms would be so cool to see again, especially since the varying body types mean the clothes aren't meant to be swapped like before (so her unique shape shouldn't be much of an issue!). In this gen she might even be a were-spider?

River Styxx! Ever since Draculaura brought up pastel goth aesthetics in Nightmare Nightmore I've been seriously missing River. Yes, she was only in one movie, yes, it was for like thirty seconds, but her design is so creepy cute! Plus her ghost design, semitranslucent with bones peeking through, is one of my absolute favorites. Maybe more focus on her candy love?

Luna Mothews. She was done SO DIRTY in the original (sorry to those who loved her she just was not for me). As a mothman (and Mr. Mothmanson) stan, I need a mothier, West Virginian Luna. Maybe she bonds with Scarah over their shared bad luck prophecy powers. Speaking of...

Scarah Screams. I feel like we're getting a banshee in Mrs. O'Shriek considering her name (and a throwaway line about her yelling), but Scarah was such a sweet and lovely character that I'd just love to see her again. And more Irish this time too! An episode explaining the history of bian sidh lore, complete with explaining the Anglicized spelling, would be super cool!

Sirena von Boo. This is almost purely on design alone. The ghostly mermaid tail, the shadowy finned hands, the chain detailing?? She is so iconic in her design (plus her characterization was p cute). Her color scheme is similar to Spectra, so maybe an update for that. Her character could be a really interesting foray into monster afterlife this gen (aka maybe she's the ghost of a teen mermaid, not a ghost-mermaid hybrid).

Kiyomi Haunterly! Yeah, I loved the ghosts lmao. She was such a cool concept! I loved that her face was barely visible yet still there, her lesbian moments w Drac were all ADORABLE, and it was super cool to see ghost lore from Japan. If they bring back monster exchange I think she'd be so fun to see again through that route.

C.A. Cupid!! Chariclo Arganthone, we've all been missing you since 2013. Please come home to Monster High!! Absolutely adored the concept of a bone elemental, for one, plus her radio persona was so fun! I could see her hosting a matchmaking podcast in g3, plus a missed connections EekTok. Since I hc aro Deuce for g3, I think they'd make really great friends. Plus he could teach her that romantic love/matchmaking isn't for everyone!

Elissabat! With all the focus on the were-ruler this season, plus the focus last season on Dracula's PFFT title and what it meant for Draculaura, I think it could be really interesting to see the traditional Vampire Queen return to Monster High. How do tradition-dependent vampires deal with a power struggle between the original vampire royalty and the premiere, first and foremost top monster? Also getting a GOTH goth character might finally get people to stop griping about how g1 was "way gother!!"

Honey Swamp. Okay yes, same as River, she was in one (1) movie for about forty five seconds, but her crocodilian design was one of my favorites in the entire generation. I always thought she was particularly cool since Lagoona ended up more sea monster than "Creature from the Black Lagoon." Honey was the actual swamp monster!! Plus we've already got New Orleans through Apollo, so why not a little New Goreleans as well? More exploration of human cities and their monster counterparts please!

Robecca Steam. She's so far down the list, but I cannot emphasize how much I need my steampunk queen back. More goggles, more gears, more copper and steam! I loved that her father was human, which frankly could be a really cool idea to explore in g3. What are the ethics of monsters created by humans? If humans are monsters too, was Hexiciah alive during a time of peace?

Rochelle Goyle. Her design was always so classic and chic. We've seen some gargoyles in the series so far, but none of them have been animate (or made their sentience known). Plus she could be great friends with Deuce, and maybe even save the day if his gorgon gaze gets out of control.

Hoodude. I'll be honest: as much as I like the idea of a living Voodou doll, the first generation handled him like garbage. Having Frankie practice rituals from a closed religion to make herself a boyfriend was uh...yeah. G3 could take Hoodude in two interesting directions. For one, they could get a consultant who actually practices Voodou to help design the character. He would be a living doll created by a Voodou practitioner, introducing kids to the idea that Voodou is a real religion currently practiced today that isn't evil, isn't witchcraft, and is deeply culturally important. If they're not willing to put the work in (which, honestly, they've been so much better about in g3), he could also make a really fun renamed living doll/plush.

Vandala Doubloons. Another ghost who showed up for thirty seconds in Haunted? In my list? It's more likely than you'd think lmao. This is solely bc I love pirates and I love ghosts, and think a pirate ghost character is always fun. I prefer her design to Dayna Jones's, but I like the daughter of Davey Jones aspect.

Operetta. Last but absolutely not least, I need the phantom of the oprey back again! Her rockabilly pin up style was so cute and her origin story is so batty (her dad is a human, guys). Honestly she'd work so well in g3 with her "monstrous" human father!

And there they all are! My personal faves from g1, brought back into g3. Some of them are just there for the peak design, some for how their lore could work really really well w g3, all bc I love them :3

Bonus list of characters who should probably come back too (due to importance in g1/popularity):

Jackson Jekyll/Holt Hyde (hello human monster conflict!)

Casta Fierce (and Spelldon) (maybe from witch camp?)

Amanita Nightshade (unless Frankie smushed her when they dropped a gargoyle on the corpse flower)

Moanica D'cay (not g1 but a really cool zombie)

Slomo (more zombies!)

Neighthan Rot (more zombie unicorns!)

AstraNova (love an alien)

Catrine DeMew (a solid Scarisian were-cat)

Valentine (I mean. Come on.)

Gigi and Whisp Grant (except less Orientalist this time)

Inivisi-Billy (is he a ghost? is he a normie?)

Lorna MacNessie (her dad is iconic and so is she)

Ari Hauntington (again not g1, but interesting in the g3 politics)

Garrott (I just want gargoyles)

Isi Dawndancer (please hire a cultural consultant this time)

Kiersti Trollson (loved the literal troll who games)

Batsy Claro (a were-bat would be so funny guys come on please)

[ragingstillness]

I’m only now really realizing how utterly insane the end of RE7 must have been for Chris Redfield.

I mean, he’s an experienced BSAA agent. He’s survived the worst bioweapon disasters his world has known. He’s lost friends and whole squads to monsters straight out of people’s nightmares.

Then one afternoon he gets a report, detailing a horrific outbreak where Tyrant-Class Bioweapons have been making people disappear in the Louisiana swamps. There are reports of explosions, fire, gunshots, screams.

Chris hops into a helicopter, mentally preparing for hell on earth. The helicopter reaches the site, Chris looks down, and sees what looks like a giant petrified tree sprouting out of the ruins of a house, destruction in every direction and there, standing in a little clearing near the collapsed tree, holding a rifle, is a Olive Garden breadstick of a man, his hands cupped around his mouth, shouting up to them “hey my wife and I could use some help!”

He’s wearing fucking jeans and a fucking white button down shirt. He looks like a suburban dad coming off of work. He looks like he drives a minivan. He looks like the most excitement he sees is the office Christmas party when his boss hands out free champagne.

He’s blue-eyed and has blonde hair, light skin, he looks like a Sim come to life. Like a mannequin from The Gap.

Chris, still floored, rappels down to the man. He asks his name.

“Ethan,” the guy says with the faintest California accent. He’s smiling exhaustedly.

Chris scans the scene for any monsters. There are none. This fluffy Texas Toast white bread man took out all the monsters? By himself? With a flimsy rifle? That was several years old? While protecting his wife?!

Chris wouldn’t have entered the house without at least three squads. He’s learned his lesson from the mansion outside Raccoon City.

One man. One, regular man. It’s beyond impossible, it’s unbelievable, it can’t be true.

Chris pinches himself to make sure. Yup, not dreaming. “Ethan, are you human?”

Ethan frowns at him like a confused puppy. Chris is reminded of a beagle retriever mix. “I’m pretty sure I am.”

“I’ll check you just to make sure.” Chris runs a scanner up and down Ethan’s body. He looks at the results. “Are you *sure* you’re human?”

Ethan laughs self-deprecatingly. “I did get a lot of that goo on myself but I didn’t eat any of it, pretty sure I’m fine.”

Chris looks back down at the scanner. Incredibly high concentrations of the virus. By all accounts, Ethan should be a morphed bloody mess right now, extra eyes and hands mutating out of his torso, half his face melted. Chris looks back up at Ethan. He’s smiling nervously, happy in his delusion. He reaches up to scratch some dirt out of his hair then winces as he realizes he’s tried to use the arm that appears to have the hand stapled back onto it. Chris googles at it. Regardless of mutations the pain and blood loss from that alone should render Ethan dead. “Why are you here Ethan?”

“I got a cryptic message from my wife who’d been missing for three years. I figured she was in trouble so I went to find her.”

“And when you found her?”

“She’d been infected and cut my hand off with a chainsaw.”

“What did you do then?”

Chris expects Ethan to spin some tale about blundering through the forest and killing an infected tree. Instead, this man looks right at Chris with the eyes of a madman and says “I went and found a cure to save her.”

“You…what?!”

“Well admittedly Zoe did help me out with that. I hope she was out of the house when it collapsed, she was a great friend.”

“The fuck?” Chris muttered under his breath. Most of the people he knew, including his BSAA teammates, would run for backup upon finding someone they cared for had been infected.

Chris himself had made a promise with Claire that if either of them got infected they’d do each other the honor of a mercy killing.

Cures for any virus outbreak were one in a billion. But Ethan had been totally confident in his ability to rescue his wife and cure her of the infection that caused her to cut his hand off with a chainsaw! “Who the hell are you?”

“Well I’m a systems engineer by trade, originally from LA. God the drive down here was so long.”

Chris blinked. Then again. Then again. Still didn’t seem like he was losing his mind and hallucinating. “I have to make a call, I’ll be right back.”

Chris passed the oblivious Ethan off to one of his lieutenants, instructing him to get Ethan some medical attention.

Jill picked up on the first ring. “Valentine.”

“Jill it’s Chris.”

“What’s up? I heard you were sent out to Louisiana. Rough stuff, I hope you’re alright.”

“Yeah…about that. I need to bring a bioweapon into the BSAA as an agent.”

“Are you out of your mind?! They’ll never go for it!”

Chris looked over at Ethan, now waving a tiny green bottle at one of the medics, demonstrating pouring it onto his injured arm. “I think they’ll make an exception.”

[wannaeatramyeon]

Could you please make another unhinged reader piece but this time with her going against Charles Choi? (I really love the one you did on Vin Jin!!)

Anon, so so sorry for the delay and tysm for reading! I've been putting off Charles in the first place cos it just seems big y'know?

Unhinged F!Reader links here (or check masterlist): Gun Park | Goo Kim | Samuel Seo | Samuel Seo Part 2 | James Lee/DG | Jinyoung Park | Eli Jang | Tom Lee | Ryuhei Kuroda | Eugene | Vin Jin

Charles Choi with Unhinged F!Reader

"Huh," Charles wonders, "Why do I hear final boss battle music?"

How long has it been since Charles has felt this?

An overwhelming, crushing helplessness.

To think his downfall would come from a nobody. Somebody so insignificant that their existence was completely unknown to him.

An easy, fatal mistake.

"Elite?" the sound of your mocking tone reaches his ears despite the blood trickling out. "Elite compared to what?"

Silly boys and their silly nicknames. They're all the same. Elite, Big Daddy, Rabid Attack Dog, the Legend.

Compensating much? Pathetic.

Some little boys just never grow up, having tasted an ounce of power and thought that was all there was. Such big fishes in a tiny putrid swamp.

Your fingers scrape along Charles' once carefully groomed beard, now smeared with blood and spittle.

"What a silver fox. Guess that's a benefit of you being so past your prime."

The words should hurt, but Charles can face reality. He's no longer the young man he once was. Not sure he would even be a worthy opponent for you if he was.

How strange that in these moments it is Gapryong that he thinks about. How he wasn't really a worthy opponent for Gapryong neither, needing to secure his way to the top with underhanded dealings and James Lee.

Charles drifts in and out, thinking about the Pre-Generation, about Tom Lee and Jinyoung Park.

About how nobody has warned him about you, how he didn't see you coming until it was too late. Swaggering towards him in a deserted street with soulless eyes and a chilling grin.

"Charles Choi?" you had asked, tucking away a slip of paper into your breast pocket, "Or should that be... Elite?"

And that was the beginning of the end.

Or maybe it was the beginning of the end years ago, and now his chickens are coming home to roost.

Charles felt your first lethal attack before he could see it, remaining arm snapping and the heat of blood gushing and pouring out. Voice screaming on reflex before he could register it was his own.

Now, even with you easily in touching distance, Charles can't bring himself to move. He has nothing left to give. And was there ever a time he ever felt truly depleted? Not trying to brute force or scheme his way to the very end?

All fight has left him now.

In his delirium, words escape and leak unhindered under his breath. Some names that ring a bell with you.

You chuckle. "Tom Lee? Jinyoung Park? Oops, I got to them too."

Then you lean down, closing the gap between your bodies, lips ghosting over his ear, sending shivers down his spine.

"Gapryong Kim though? I heard you got to him years before I could." You look Charles square in the eye, your words landing and his eyes widen in panic.

His final secret out.

With that you throw your head back laughing, uproariously and deranged. That is what he's worrying about now? What a wretched man.

"I'll give you anything you want," Charles pleads.

Your laughter abruptly stops and replaced with a scathing look. How fucking predictable. Ugh. This whole thing is starting to bore you.

"I've heard it all from that that twink already. Eugene or something. It didn't end well for him."

"Maybe," you think outloud, examining your hands caked almost completely in red, not remembering if you actually painted your nails that colour or if that is Charles' blood too-

"I want your other arm."

"...I see." are his final words to you, recognising any further pleas will fall on deaf ears. Tone calm yet all he can hear is the pounding of his own heart.

The last thing Charles see before he closes his eyes is the quirk of your lips and bloodlust etched all over your face.

In the darkness, he waits for you to decide his fate and for his empire to crumble.

[gingerjunhan]

falling asleep with xdinary heroes

☆彡 ahh this is my first work! I hope you all enjoy it!

word count: 1,108 | pronouns used: none | genre: fluff, established relationship | cws: mentions of stress w/ gunil, mentions of overworking w/ ode, vague mentions of eating? (ode brings you snacks), lmk if I missed any!

goo gunil

He noticed that work has been stressing you out lately, so he invites you over to his place

Very determined to help you have a fun, relaxing evening

No talk of work allowed 🫵🏻

It’s movie marathon night!

Greets you at the door with a tight hug and probably some flowers (because you deserve them and he loves to see you smile)

“I got you something…”

Made his bedroom extra cozy- tidied up, extra pillows and blankets, lit a candle or two

Your favorite food has been ordered and it’s already on the way

There’s also ice cream in the freezer

Once your food has arrived and you both get comfortable, he lets you pick the first movie

Hours pass of just the two of you enjoying each other’s company, and you’re starting to doze off

About halfway through the third movie Gunil excuses himself to use the bathroom, and when he comes back you’re fast asleep

He can’t help but to stare at your sleeping form

For the first time in a while, you looked totally relaxed (and not to mention: super cute)

Climbs back into bed with you, pulling the blankets over you both, placing a kiss on the top of your head

“Sleep well, my love.”

Finishes the movie so he can tell you about it in the morning

kim jungsu

He stayed at practice late one night, so you decided to pay him a visit

You find him alone in a practice room

He looks tired, but his face lights up when he sees you, greeting you with a sleepy smile

“Hi honey!”

Invites you to come sit on his lap

Wrapping your arms around each other, you ask him about his day

After some talking, he gets back to work with the song he was working on, telling you, “just ten more minutes and we can go home.”

Ten minutes turns into 20 minutes

20 minutes turns into half an hour

And you’re getting sleepy

Between the soothing feeling of his breathing, the scent of him and his cologne, and the sounds of his keyboard, you’re falling asleep in a matter of minutes

Jungsu notices almost immediately

He feels bad for keeping you out so late, but he can’t help but giggle at you

He quickly finished up the line he’s working on- writing it down so he won’t forget it- and he wakes you up with a kiss on the cheek

“Lets get home hmm? It’s pretty late.”

kwak jiseok

You’re hanging out in xh’s dorm after one of your monthly game nights

You were all on the floor sitting around a messy pile of Uno cards

After Ode beat you all twice in a row, everyone decided to call it quits for the night

You had your head in Gaon’s lap, enjoying his presence and the current conversation that flowed through the room

Gaon started to run his fingers through your hair, and just like that

You were asleep

If he could’ve melted into a puddle, it would’ve happened right then and there

The others make fun of him for how hard he’s blushing

He tells them to be quiet so they don’t wake you up

By doing so, he wakes you up

Feels bad for waking you :(

Offers to let you spend the night with him in the dorm

“You can sleep in one of my shirts if you’d like.”

oh seungmin

You have been swamped with homework lately

Spending most of your free time reading, writing papers, or studying

He hates it

Yes he wants you to work hard and be successful but

You could be spending that time with him

He brings you snacks/ meals while you study

He brings you a snack one evening and finds you asleep at your desk

His heart breaks a bit because this means you haven’t been getting enough rest

He puts your snack down and wakes you

“C’mon baby, it’s time for bed.”

You try to convince him to let you finish your assignment, but your arguments are futile

He drags you over to your bed, pulling back the covers and making you comfortable

He then crawls into bed with you, pulling you close to him

“Your assignments can wait, you need to rest.”

You can’t argue back because you just feel too cozy!

You pull yourself closer to him, finally letting sleep take over

He smiles softly at you, quietly keeping you company until you wake up or he falls asleep himself

han hyeongjun

Jun Han has been dying to show you the new anime he’s been watching, and a rainy Saturday afternoon is the perfect time to do so!

You’re laying together on his couch, wearing one of his hoodies (that he totally didn’t leave at your place “on accident”)

You’re about four episodes into the show, and your eyelids are starting to get heavy

You tried your hardest to stay awake, knowing that he was excited to watch this show with you

But the way you were surrounded in him

The scent of his hoodie, the sound of his laugh, his heartbeat, the way his fingers traced shapes on your back as he wrapped his arms around you

All of this mixed with the pleasant background noise of his show mixed with the rain outside

You found yourself losing the fight of trying to stay awake

When he notices at the end of the episode, he can’t help but smile

He turns the tv off and holds you tighter, deciding that nap time didn’t sound like such a bad idea

Since we know this man can sleep anywhere and everywhere

Laying his head on top of yours, he closes his eyes, taking in the feeling of having you so close

lee jooyeon

He just came home from a long day of promotions

It was late, and you were already in bed

When he came stumbling over his own feet into the bedroom, you woke up just enough to process his frame standing at the end of the mattress, starting to get ready for bed

“Hi sweetie. Did I wake you? :(“

He changes quickly- knowing that you’re now awake- hoping to talk to you a little bit before falling asleep again

He finally gets under the covers and you wrap your arms around him, asking about his day

He lets out a yawn as one of your hands find its way to his hair

He begins to tell you about what happened to him at work today, but he soon realizes that your breathing has slowed and you aren’t listening anymore

He places a kiss to your jaw and makes himself comfortable

“I’ll just tell you in the morning.”

[tonberry-yoda]

Take a Break - Asra

notes - IM BACK FROM THE DEAD AND WITH A FIC?!?!?! Hi guys! <3 I've been in a bit of a block feeling like my writing is meh, but I wanted to pump this out to get out of said block. I'm finally on a short break for school, but I'll be working then, but now, I had time to write and wanted to give you all something, even if it's short and sweet. I also wanted to thank you all for the support even as I've been on my hiatus. I nearly have 200 followers, and I just can't thank everyone enough for being so loving! Sorry this note was kinda long, but I really want you all to know how much I love you <3 word count - 941

“Hi Asra.” You smile, giving the boy goo-goo eyes as he walks into the shop that the two of you owned.

“Hello, y/n.” he says, not once looking at you. He was too busy looking down at a list of some sort to notice you staring at him while you stood behind the counter.

“Busy?” you asked.

“Mhm.” was all he let out before walking up to his office.

You sighed and ran your fingers through your hair. Another busy day that clouded both you and Asra. You were used to it by now, but a break sounded nice every once in a while. So instead of that break, you played with a bottle full of tea leaves that you were proud to say you made yourself. You didn't hate your job, if anything, you loved it more than any job you’ve had before. The problem was Asra. He looked constantly stressed and beyond tired. You hated that he was starting to look like he was the one who hated his job. He had so much passion years ago, but now he just looked swamped.

“Good evening, y/n!” you heard a familiar voice say as the bell rang above the door. Your ears perked up and a smile spread across your face as you saw one of your regular customers walk in.

“Evening, Mr. Bennet! How are you?” You set down the little bottle and walked over to the man, shaking his hand.

“Fine, fine,” he said. “Busy as always. You?” He hung his coat on a rack next to the door and started browsing.

“I'm all right,” you admitted. “Bout to close up shop, so that’s nice.”

“I won't be too long.” He looked at some of the tea you had made, carefully reading the instructions. “Where’s Asra, if you don't mind me asking?”

“Oh, he's upstairs. Probably working as always.” You rested your cheek on your hand.

“Go figure. Poor man needs to catch a break.”

“Tell me about it.” you chuckled.

“Well, when you see him again,” Mr. Bennet said, walking to the counter with a box of tea leaves. “Tell him that he has to get that break, for me, of course.”

You laughed and took the money from the man, locking the door behind him as he left.

“Was that Mr. Bennet?” you heard Asra ask, making you nearly jump out of your skin.

“Yeah,” you said nonchalantly as you began to clean up for the night. “He just got some tea, that’s all.”

“Dammit,” Asra groaned, leaning against the wall. “I had to ask him something.”

“You know he’ll be back. He’s in here all the time. Plus, he told me to tell you to take a damn break.”

Asra ran his fingers through his white hair while his other hand clutched some tarot cards. “You know I can't do that.” he sighed.

“Whatever you say.” You finished sweeping up the rest of the shop and walked past Asra.

“Where are you going?” he asked.

“To my room. To take a break.” So, you did. You walked straight to your room and laid on your bed. It was soft, as always, and all of your stuffed animals gave you soft smiles.

Through your window, you could see the moon peeking over some mountains behind the town and a smile spread across your face. You quickly jumped out of bed to open your window to bring in some cool night air. It smelled fresh. You saw crows fly overhead and could see the lights from the rest of the village turning on as the night market began overflowing with people. You’ve been needing this relaxation for weeks, and finally, it was a weekend where you had time for it.

At your door, you heard Asra clear his throat. When you turned around, he had Faust wrapped around his bicep and the tarot cards were still in his hand.

“Need something?” you asked.

“Not really.” he said quietly.

“You look tired.” Your voice was softer than his.

Asra chuckled. “I am tired.”

“Then take a break. Please.”

Faust slid her way off of Asra’s arm and slid over to you. You picked her up and she wrapped herself around your wrist. “Break!” she said to Asra.

“There’s so much to do before the weekend is over though.” Asra sighed and leaned against the frame of your door.

“Like what?” you asked.

He thought for a minute. You assumed that he was going to try to make some excuse to keep himself busy. There were probably things he had to do over the weekend, but you also knew that Asra was the kind of guy who always felt the need to be productive.

You walked over to him and put your hand on his shoulder. “Asra, I'm serious, you need a break. Those eyebags don't look good on you.” You ran your thumb underneath his eye over the dark spots there.

He softened to your touch, leaning his cheek on your warm hand. “What if everything falls apart because of me?” he asked.

“I think you’re just making excuses.” you giggled.

He took your hand in his own and smiled softly at you. Faust, you noticed, had disappeared, but you didn't mind, especially when you just saw her curling up in a little cage you had made for her.

“Do you want some hot cocoa?” you asked Asra as he took a seat on your bed.

“That would be wonderful, y/n, thank you.”

You pressed a kiss to his forehead and pushed him so that he was laying down. “I'll be right back.” You winked.

~~~~~

the arcana masterlist | pinned post | ko-fi

2023 @tonberry-yoda – do not repost or claim ANY of my work as your own! likes, reblogs, and comments are not only welcome, but appreciated

~~~~~

[lindsayvanekart]

"Swamp Goddess": originally painted in 2018, cleaned up in 2022.

I painted this piece back in 2018 and it is one of my most popular prints to date. It is an homage to my home of Muskoka and the swamp by my cottage that we call Goo Lake.

Fun fact: my dad brought home to me a baby snapping turtle to keep as a pet when I was around 10 years old. I named him George Bush. (why, you ask? No idea, I am not even American 😆) I had George for one week before he escaped and my mom found him under their bed, so we had to release him. We brought him to Goo Lake, and I like to think he is lord of that swamp now.

Prints found through my website: www.lindsayvanek.com

[stirpicus]

Very curious about the locations that Jack mentions in MC:SM Season 2. Were there actual ideas (written or visual) about these places or were they just made up on the spot so he could say them?

Either way, I kinda wish they appeared in Minecraft: Dungeons. Would've been a fun callback.

The locations in question: Try’bal Cliff, E'gesh, Tristy Cove, The Upper Lowlands, Spider-Peak Mountain, Ice Crags of Doom, Har'lang Swamps, Whispering Mountains, Mushroom Archipelago, The Sea Temple, Sur'gao Pass, Shu'jay Forest, Shimmering Plains, Goo-Loon Bay, Doom Sea, Foon-jar, Hon'bar Crevasse, Li-Argh Mountain, Pur'gan-gah, Te'ag Tem, Twisting Death Cavern, Mooji Lake, Winding Ridge, Na'pow, Choongie-Choongie Forest and Dresh-Najell Valley

(Wow, there's a lot.)

Hahaha some of them (like Choongie-Choongie Forest) were improvised by Jack’s actor, Fred Tatiasciore; but most of them were me making up nonsense.

When we started making up Jack’s backstory I wove some of them in - like Pur’gan-Gah is where Nurm’s family lives, and the Whispering Mountains was a place that Jack trained - but they’re mostly just for fun. Seeing them all listed out is funny.

[bubbiegumprincess]

me when

starkid fans when they hear Linda, black friday, wiggle, foster, doll, Nordstrom, black coffee, blue goo, business suits, piano, "show stopper", numbers, seeds, just a list of male names, swamped, sugar in their coffee, meteor, nerds, bowties, homecoming, dirty dudes, and letterman jacket