#goombas are not harmless

[lore-of-the-mushroom-kingdom]

Goombas Bite And Bunt

There is apparently an old interview with Miyamoto that talks about how when you bump into a Goomba in Super Mario Bros. and take damage, you are being bitten by the Goomba. The reason you don't see it is because of sprite limitation. The reason other games don't show it is basically they simply didn't animate it, and nobody was enforcing the depiction of this. However, there is some media that does depict this.

In Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars, one of the attacks Goombas use is to bite you. While not canon to the games there is a scene in The Super Mario Bros. Movie where Goomba is biting on another Goomba, a reference to this characteristic. Finally most recently in Super Mario Bros. Wonder when you run into Goombas an animation of them biting you plays.

Also, Goombas don't just try to bite Mario and friends, Goombas also charge at you as well. This can be seen in any 3D Mario game, and even in Minion Quest: The Search for Bowser. Bowser's Minions actually calls attention to this. Captain Goomba: "I'm used to fighting Mario! For now...I'll just keep bashing!"

This is also why hypotheses that have Mario as evil and Goombas as completely harmless don't work, it contradicts was is established in canon.

[itsamenickname]

Guys, I've been watching & playing a lot of Mario Superstar Baseball lately and I have a hilarious thought.

Bowser's baseball team, but it consists of the following 9 players:

Bowser

Bowser Jr.

6 random bad guys/villains (Koopa Troopas, Goombas, Magikoopas, what have you)

And finally, the one and only Luigi

Now, I have a very rough idea of how this story can go, so I'll try to summarize my ideas the best I can (including a cut because this is a long one).

At the beginning of the story, Bowser asks his new boyfriend, Luigi, (since I see them as being a very new couple) if he wants to join his baseball team. While Luigi would be interested in joining Bowser's team, Luigi explains that there are two problems:

a) Luigi is already on Mario's team and

b) Even if Luigi wasn't on a team, joining Bowser's team would pretty much give away the huge secret of them being a couple (since no one knows that they're dating).

Bowser ponders this for a few minutes and comes up with an idea for Luigi to still be on Mario's team, but at the same time, join Bowser's team with a disguise (i.e., Mr. L's costume from Super Paper Mario). Luigi thinks about this for a minute and while hesitant, he agrees to Bowser's plan.

The next major event would be Bowser introducing "Mr. L" (the fake name Luigi will be using for Bowser's team) to his baseball team. Now here, I like to imagine that it never occurred to Luigi that all of Bowser's teammates are going to be (to put it bluntly) villains. Now, some of the teammates are pretty harmless (i.e., Bowser's minions), but if you wanted to make things interesting, I can see King Boo and/or a few Boos being some of Bowser's teammates (which would terrify poor Luigi).

The next few days/weeks would consist of Luigi switching between playing on Mario's baseball team and playing on Bowser's baseball team. Throughout this time, people (especially Mario, Peach, and Daisy) would hear a rumor that Bowser has a really good player who goes by "Mr. L" (i.e., Luigi).

The final baseball game would be Mario's team vs Bowser's team. Now, here is where Luigi faces a really tough dilemma. Obviously, he can't be in two places at once, but he's already too far into his secret double life. Telling Mario about his relationship with Bowser would shatter his brother's heart.

So I currently do not have an idea on how Luigi leaves Mario's team (whether it's from an accident that causes Luigi to sprain his ankle or Luigi plays hooky and lies to Mario about being sick the day of the big game), but somehow, Luigi leaves Mario's team and plays on Bowser's team in the big game. Now just because Luigi is playing on Bowser's team, this doesn't mean that he feels good about lying to his brother. Hell, for most of the game, Luigi doesn't play very well because the guilt of lying to Mario is internally destroying him.

At the bottom of the 9th inning, all Bowser's team needs is a home run to win the game (the bases are loaded and there's 1 out). Luigi's up next to bat, but there's one problem: Luigi can't do it. Luigi just can't deal with the guilt of lying to Mario anymore. This turns into a deep conversation between Luigi and Bowser, with Bowser eventually admitting that he doesn't care if he wins or loses the big game. All Bowser wanted was for him and Luigi to have fun playing baseball with each other. Somehow, this conversation gave Luigi the motivation he needs to go up to bat.

There are now 2 outs as it's now Luigi's turn to bat. The bases are still loaded and Mario is pitching. Luigi gets two strikes, but when Mario throws that third pitch, Luigi not only hits the ball, but Luigi actually gets a home run.

As Luigi's running around the bases (and as Bowser's team are celebrating their win), a Toad on Mario's team (being a sore loser) sticks his foot out right in front of Luigi. Without time to react, Luigi trips, but when he gets back up, there's a plot twist: Luigi's mask came off during the fall, meaning that everyone can now clearly see that "Mr. L" was actually Luigi in disguised. Everyone is absolutely speechless upon realizing this discovery, especially Mario.

After about a minute, Luigi just runs off the field (with tears in his eyes) and to Peach's Castle (since the big game would take place at Peach's Garden). Mario quickly follows his brother, but it's not long before he loses sight of Luigi. Mario gets an idea and goes to the guest room Mr. L/Luigi is staying at. He tries to open the door, but seeing that it's locked, Mario tries talking to Luigi. Luigi is at his room and he can hear everything Mario is saying, but he doesn't say anything nor does he unlock his bedroom door.

Mario doesn't know how to help Luigi. Eventually, he saids to Luigi that he understands why Luigi kept his relationship with Bowser a secret (seeing Luigi unmasked somehow made Mario realize that Luigi and Bowser are dating). Luigi lets out a "You...You do...?", to which Mario responds with a yea. He then confesses to Luigi that he and Peach have secretly dated for 2 months before they told anyone (including Luigi). During those 2 months, Mario did want to tell Luigi about his relationship, but...he was afraid. Mario was afraid that by revealing his relationship with Peach (even to his twin brother), the Toads would give Mario a hard time and would try to convince Peach that he isn't good enough of her.

Hearing this, Luigi eventually unlocks the door and comes out of his room. He apologizes to Mario about not telling him about his and Bowser's relationship, to which Mario explains that it's okay. The brothers eventually hug and share some wholesome brotherly moments.

Bowser eventually comes into the scene and tries to explain why Luigi was on his baseball team, but Mario stops him. Mario then explains that he knows about his and Luigi's relationship and expresses his support for their relationship. However, Mario (being the older brother he is) tells Bowser that he will not hesitate to kill him if he (Bowser) hurts Luigi in anyway.

[yakkolicious-writing]

Don't Go Chucking My Heart

Genre: Crack, Romance Fandom: Super Mario Bros. Central Relationship: Luigi x Chuckya Wordcount: 1,704 words Summary: In the greatest love story since Twilight, Luigi, number two hero of the Mushroom Kingdom, finds himself smitten with a Chuckya, a minion of Bowser's with hidden depths. Can the two overcome the odds and realize that they aren't so different? Warnings: None Rating: G. Suitable for all audiences.

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54872599

This fic was inspired by @silly-lil-lee. I hope you enjoy!

Luigi stood in front of the hole in the airship. He knew he couldn’t; he knew he shouldn’t. But yet, something in his heart said that he had to. He must. Luigi jumped into the air, slowly fluttering down by kicking his legs, and landed in the hole. Inside of the hole was a cannon. The cannon raised itself, Luigi inside of it, and aimed itself before firing. Luigi flew through the rainbow ring, and then, he grabbed onto a flagpole. He looked down, and there, he saw him: the hunkiest hunk to ever hunk. There, he saw Chuckya.

Luigi admired Chuckya’s round, perfectly spherical body, with an amethyst hue that shone in the sunlight. His diamond orbs were full of passion, and his ball-like antenna was as red as a cherry: and it looked good enough to eat too. Perhaps the boxing gloves he wore on his hands weren’t the most welcoming, but Luigi didn’t mind it. He knew what it was like to wear gloves all the time and be ostracized from society because of it. The Toads of the Mushroom Kingdom never treated him with kindness. To them, he was always “green Mario” or “the green man.” Even Princess Peach didn’t respect him. Maybe he didn’t put in as much work as Mario, but he still helped. A “thank you” or even a tiny slice of cake would be nice every once in a while. But alas, it wasn’t meant to be. Peach was always going to prefer Mario to him. It was a blessing in some ways, but a curse in others. Luigi may not have been interested in Peach, but he wanted someone to love, and there was something irresistibly charming about that Chuckya.

“No,” Luigi thought, clinging to the flagpole like he clung to heteronormativity, “I can’t.”

Like Romeo’s feelings for Juliet, Luigi knew his feelings for Chuckya were forbidden. After all, Chuckya worked for the enemy, that fearsome foe Bowser. Sure, Chuckya may not have been Bowser, but what would Mario think? Mario was a great older brother, but like all great older brothers, he was prone to worrying about his little brother. Bowser was always up to no good, which gave Mario reason to think that Chuckya was also always up to no good. Besides, Luigi was always being bullied in the Mushroom Kingdom by those callous Toads. What would they think if he came back with Chuckya? Mario would at least give him a chance, but the Toads would never do something so kind. Luigi could come back with someone as harmless as one of those pink female Goombas, who could easily be crushed underneath one’s feet, and the Toads would still relentlessly bully Luigi for it. Unlike a Goomba, however, Chuckya could very easily fight back. He was known for his violent tendencies. He would pick up people and throw them in a random direction of his choice: Mario knew this firsthand. It was why he told Luigi to stay away from Chuckya. But yet, Luigi was the moth to the flame that was Chuckya. Chuckya’s magnetic personality drew Luigi closer.

Eventually, Luigi decided he had to make his move. He slid down the flagpole, catching Chuckya’s attention. Chuckya scratched his head.

“What are you doing here?” Chuckya asked, even though he had no mouth.

“Oh! Um, well, I, uh,” Luigi stuttered.

“Whatever,” Chuckya said, “I’m on duty. And now, it’s chucking time.”

Chuckya slid towards Luigi and picked him up. He held him firmly yet gently in his boxing glove-covered hands. Luigi could tell that Chuckya wasn’t going to drop him. He felt so secure in his hands. Maybe one day, he could feel this same way again, and Chuckya could have less violent intentions.

Chuckya turned around and tossed Luigi through the rainbow ring as if he were a basketball. Luigi soared through the air like a green-clad missile before landing back on the airship.

“Oof!” Luigi cried; his eyes were wide like saucers, and his jaw was clenched.

Luigi stood up and dusted off his overalls before jumping back into the cannon hole. Luigi shot back through the rainbow ring and grabbed onto the flagpole once more. Chuckya looked up and gasped.

“How did you get back here?” Chuckya asked, surprised.

“It’s very easy,” Luigi said, “but since you’re throwing me like I’m a ragdoll, maybe it’sa best I don’t tell you.”

“Fair point,” Chuckya replied, crossing his arms.

Luigi slid down the flagpole once more, and Chuckya sighed.

“Look, man,” Chuckya began, “I’m on duty, and my job is to chuck people. If I chuck ‘em away, the big guy pays me the good money, and the good money pays better than any other job. If you come back again, I’ll have to tell him, and he might fire me. I’m already struggling to make rent, and if I get fired… I don’t know what’ll happen to me.”

“Oh,” Luigi said, “why can’t you just lie to him?”

“I’m not a good liar,” Chuckya explained, “and besides, the big guy doesn’t like liars.”

“Oh… that’s so sad…”

Chuckya’s eyes grew softer, but he couldn’t let himself go soft. The only thing the big guy hated more than liars was softies. He rapidly shook his head and put on a fake glare.

“I don’t need your pity!” he shouted.

“Oh, I’mma sorry,” Luigi replied, cowering, “but… do you want my pity?”

“What?” Chuckya asked, raising an eyelid.

“Do you want my pity, Chuckya?”

Chuckya sighed and crossed his arms. A single, shiny teardrop rolled down his face.

“Well, I didn’t know anyone would ever feel bad for me,” he explained, “it’s just… I hate being a minion. Sure, I’m good at chucking things. I was great at the shot put back in high school, but chucking things isn’t all that I want to do with my life. I wanna see the world, go backpacking, meet a nice person and settle down when I feel I’ve done enough, and then, I could open a gym or something.”

“Oh, you have-a so many dreams,” Luigi said.

“Oh, I got tons of dreams,” Chuckya replied, “it’s just that I was born as the wrong species in the wrong kingdom. Maybe I’d be traveling right now if I was a Toad born in the Mushroom Kingdom. Instead, I was born a Chuckya in the Bowser Kingdom…”

It was at this moment that Luigi knew what he had to do. He ran up to Chuckya and embraced him tightly. Chuckya gasped.

“What are you doing?” Chuckya asked.

“I’m giving you a hug,” Luigi explained.

Chuckya didn’t know how to feel about this new form of touch. Chuckya lived in Bowser’s Kingdom, where hugging was forbidden; the turtle king didn’t want to promote kindness in his army of coldblooded killers. Yet this hug, as Luigi called it, felt so nice. Chuckya didn’t want it to end, but if Bowser found out that he had hugged someone he was supposed to chuck, he could lose his livelihood. Chuckya groaned, causing Luigi to let go of him.

“Oh, I’mma sorry,” Luigi said.

“No, it’s alright,” Chuckya replied, “I’m sorry. I… actually really appreciated the hug. It’s just… oh, what’s the big guy gonna think? He hates hugs!”

“Oh, well, that shell of his definitely would make hugging hard,” Luigi suggested with a giggle.

“No, no, it’s not even that. He doesn’t like it when his employees get… affectionate. We have to be able to stop Mario at a moment’s notice, we don’t have time to be nice!”

“Oh no. I never realized how badly you guys had it.”

“I just want to do more with my life! There has to be more to life than chucking for minimum wage!”

“Do you want to run away with me, Chuckya?”

“What?”

“I want more in life too, Chuckya.”

“Really? You live in the Mushroom Kingdom! It has to be great over there, especially since you’re one of its heroes!”

“Not to the Toads I’m not. They just see me as Mario’s annoying little brother. They call me ‘green Mario’ and get upset whenever they see me. The princess doesn’t treat me much better. I’m not entitled to love just because I help save her, but I don’t even get a ‘thank you’ most of the time. I never get a slice of cake. I don’t know what her cakes taste like. Mario is my only friend, but sometimes he’s so busy he doesn’t even have time to say ‘hi’ to me.”

“Aw, that is sad… maybe the Mushroom Kingdom isn’t all it’s cracked up to be either.”

“Yeah. We should find somewhere else to be. Somewhere where we don’t have to worry about this silly game that Mario and Bowser play. Somewhere where we can just… be. Somewhere where I don’t have to be the sidekick, and somewhere where you don’t have to be the guy who chucks people.”

“You know what? Let’s do it. If the big guy sends people to find me, I’m gonna tell ‘em to shove a stick up his-”

Before Chuckya could finish his unclean thoughts, Luigi put a finger over his mouth.

“Don’t,” he said softly, “this story’s-a rated G.”

“Oh,” Chuckya replied, “good point.”

Luigi looked down from the cobblestone platform.

“I might need a little help getting down,” Luigi explained.

“I can carry you,” Chuckya offered.

“Oh, I’da like that,” Luigi said.

With that, Chuckya picked up Luigi, as if he were going to chuck him. However, he didn’t throw him. Instead, he slid to the edge of the cobblestone platform and jumped off. Holding Luigi tightly, though not tightly enough to crush him, the two flew through the air, landing on green grass. Chuckya set Luigi down, took off his cap, and ruffled his hair gently, making the green-clad plumber laugh. Chuckya set Luigi’s cap back on his head and offered him his hand. Luigi took it, and together, they ran as far away from the Mushroom Kingdom as they could. Chuckya finally had someone who understood what it was like to want more in life, and Luigi finally had Chuckya’s heart, and he knew now that he wouldn’t go chucking it.

APRIL FOOLS!

You have been PRANKED! BAMBOOZLED, even! I don't actually ship Luigi with Chuckya, I'm just a normal Luaisy shipper. Either way, I hope you enjoyed this!

[super-paper-swap]

Super Paper Swap: Ch. 1-1 (OLD)

This is a post version of my 2017 Super Paper Mario AU Fanfiction, Super Paper Swap.

Word Count: 2,037 words

Chapter Summary: Luigi’s multiverse-spanning adventure begins! As he and Blecky travel across Lineland Road to find Bestovius, they meet strange new friends and foes.

In a feat far greater than anything before, Luigi had been tasked with saving not one world, but all worlds in the universe. This, of course, would not be a small task. Could he really prevent Mistress Tempo from from pulling off her sinister plot? Would he reunite with his friends and brother? These and many more questions buzzed through Luigi's brain as he transversed the very fabrics of space to the start of a truly inter-dimensional adventure.

Chapter 1-1: The Adventure Unfolds

A bright morning sun greeted Luigi and Blecky when they passed through the other side of the red door. To Luigi's surprise, all traces of said door quickly vanished when it closed behind them. Leaving an empty spot where it had previously stood.

The world of Lineland was a typical plane: grass everywhere, colorful flowers popping up here and there, tall hills with gentle slopes, the usual. What wasn't usual were the illusions in the sky that seemed to depict mathematical equations and the still prominent Void looming above.

Blecky's ears twitched as he circled the area around Luigi, quickly returning with some excitement in the way he was flying.

"I can sense the Pure Heart!" Exclaimed the bat.

"Oh good! Is it close by?"

"Of course it's not close by you big goof, it's still far away from here! Lucky for you, my keen sense of direction will get us there in no time. First things first however, we need to find Bestovius."

"Then so be it." The plumber mumbled as he moved forward, the most logical direction given that a sign reading "Lineland Road" was placed in that very direction with a noticeable dirt road next to said sign, also heading in that direction. Needless to say, it was quite obvious which way they needed to go, so they walked, admiring the brace new world around them as they did so.

Aside from luscious variety of flowers and a single species of tree, there wasn't a lot of life in the area until our hero approached a tiny pink creature with many legs and a little round mouth. The tiny hairs on its head shuddered by the approach of the tall man in green.

"What is that?" Luigi asked, the pink thing squeaked and bounced in response to the loud man.

"That is a squiglet, its power is tantamount to the common goomba in your world. Their immediate instinct when they meet someone new is to bounce up and down and squeak in the most persistent manner, so their completely harmle-what are you doing?" Blecky watched in confusion as his partner pulled out a small package of crackers and gave one to the squiglet who happily nibbled on the salty disk.

"Completely harmless, right?" Luigi stood up and walked past the content critter as his pixl companion followed in annoyance. When Blecky himself was offer a cracker, he begrudgingly accepted the snack and perched on the plumber's head as he ate.

Soon they approached a locked door edged inside a small hill which, in turn, was surrounded by a fence made of a type of brick or stone. The fence had no defined signs of having an entrance and even covered the top of the hill, which left climbing it out of the question, not that it mattered to Luigi, he was too busy trying to figure out the meaning of this 'door to nowhere'. He eventually caved in and asked Blecky, who at this point had long since left his perch on Luigi's head, about the situation.

"Listen closely my friend, this 'door to nowhere' is actually a lesser dimensional door and our only method of cutting some huge time off of our journey, don't ask me how, but they will. Unfortunately there's no way for us to get in under normal circumstances, we'll have to find the owner of this barrier."

Luigi nodded as they shuffled pass the door and continued forward. He asked Blecky why he couldn't just teleport them to the Pure Heart like he had when they arrived in Flipside. The bat explained to him that his job as a pixl was not to teleport, rather this 'special ability' as it was called was temporarily gifted to him by Merlee to find the one of the legendary heroes. When pestered about what his actual powers were, he insisted that he could unveil illusions and analyze things of interest. Luigi found these powers to be rather pointless, claiming that anybody could do either of those things, not realizing how soon he would be eating those words.

The two of them had found a particularly tall and steep hill with a small, cream colored house on top. Based on the local points of erosion, it looked like there had been a time where a smaller hill lived next to the taller one but had long since vanished, in the place of this humble, smaller hill was a ladder. A broken, and therefore unusable, ladder.

It was at this point Luigi showed his partner what a 'real' special ability looked like and used his famous Super Jump to reach the house. Upon entering the house, he was surprised to find the building completely empty. This didn't shock Blecky in the slightest.

"I do believe this is where MY abilities come in." The bat said in a smug voice as he pressed a claw on one of the walls, revealing a hidden door. "Bleh heh heh, you sure are lucky to have me around aren'tcha? I guess you could say my illusion piercing abilities aren't as useless you initially thought?" He teased, his voice saturated in sass.

Luigi invited himself into the next room where he met a very angry old man and a terrified pixl. The hero couldn't let out a single 'hello' before the elder lunged and attacked him with his cane. This attack resulted in a chorus of screams from members of both parties for a good number of minutes before Luigi could scurry away from the brutality that was a senior citizen with a big stick. The old man, being rather persistent, continued to chase Luigi around the room for a decent amount of time while Blecky and new pixl decided to become aquatinted with one another.

Eventually, Luigi was able to reason with the old man who introduced himself as Watchitt, Old Man Watchitt to be precise. Now that he wasn't being chased, Luigi was able to notice the details of Watchitt's person, such as his deep blue tunic, the pair of yellow glasses hidden under his sombrero-like hat, the mustache-and-beard combo he was sporting, and his uncanny habit to blurt out 'WATCH IT!' between sentences.

"I suppose I should apologize for my aggressive mannerisms. WATCH IT! You see, this darn fairy fella is a friend of my cousin, who I rarely meet now in days. Apparently there's some commotion going on in our childhood home of Yold Town and he sent this pixl over so I could WATCH THEM until some legendary hero shows up or something. WATCH IT!" Old Man Watchitt explained to his visitors.

The pixl he spoke of, known as Laddie, had the appearance of being part of a ladder, with purple sides, two blue-green rungs, a visible pair of eyes between the rungs, and two pairs of semi-circular wings.

"Nice to meet'cha." Greeted the somewhat shell-shocked pixl, its wings still shivering long after the race of a thousand minutes had ceased. "If I might ask, how did you get here? The dimensional door from Yold Town is locked, the ladder outside is out of order, and the door to this room should be invisible to the naked eye of almost every creature imaginable."

"Well you see, we came here from Flipside-"

"FLIPSIDE?!" Laddie was quick to interrupt Luigi. "Did-Did Merlon send you here?"

"Only because I need to receive the power to flip between dimensions from Bestovius." Was Luigi's brief answer as he anticipated another interruption.

"About that, Bestovius gave me some of his 'flipping powers' before sending me off and told me to only give the power to a mustached man in red garments."

"Red garments? He must have been expecting a visit from my brother then."

"Your brother?!" Both of the pixls asked in surprise.

"Yeah, we're twins...kinda. He's just a bit older than me."

"Where is he?" Laddie continued to question the hero.

"I...don't know." Every other person in the room wanted to fall at the ground at this respond.

As the inquisition between Luigi and Laddie continued, it became increasingly obvious that the ladder-shaped pixl would need to follow the bat and plumber duo for them to find the Pure Heart and save the universe.

"I suppose there's no other choice, you need to find the Pure Heart, and I need to find the man in red. We have to work together for either of those things to happen, so from this point onward, I'm sticking to you guys like mentally traumatized glue." And just like that, Laddie joined Luigi's party, upgrading the dysfunction duo into a troublesome trio.

Before leaving, the group requested a key to the door outside. Watchitt was happy to oblige, provided that they never entered the vicinity ever again, a simple request really. It was agreed, and the misfit musketeers that were Luigi, Blecky, and the newly recruited Laddie continued onto their heroic endeavors.

Reaching the locked door, Laddie used their recently acquired ability to 'Flip' the team into a place known as the 'Next Dimension', otherwise known as the Next. While everything looked relatively the same, there was a feeling of extra depth to the world, like turning a statue a certain way to view it from another angle.

In the new perspective, Luigi noticed large chucks of the fence were completely nonexistent, the gaps were large enough even for Bowser to squeeze through. Laddie returned them to the Normal Dimension when they entered the inner boundaries of the fence where they could now unlock and go through the illusive 'lesser' dimensional door.

When asked about the properties Next Dimension, Laddie explained that the length, width, depth, and even existence of objects between the two dimensions varies, hence why the fence from before did not fully exist in the Next.

Out of curiosity, Luigi asked about Laddie's normal powers.

"Well, normally I have the ability to create and repair ladders. As of right now, however, my gift has been overwritten with Bestovius's; until I give the flipping ability to somebody, it's the only ability I can use, so we better hope there aren't any ladders in the near future in need of being fixed." He answered, the ladder-shaped pixl finally growing accustomed to the plumber and his odd partner, as hinted by the lack of shivering in their presence.

The obstacles ahead of them were few and usually required a brief a trip to the Next. One visit in particular had occurred near a tall hill with a spring next to it, Luigi requested a flip to see if the hill could be passed through in the Next, his explanation being that he considered springs a challenge to his jumping abilities. They flipped, Luigi was right about the hill being hollow, as expected; what wasn't expected was the hoard of hungry squiglets living inside the hollowed out hill. They ultimately used the spring to spare Luigi the grief of having to attack the harmless critters.

And then there was the squig. "It's just like a squiglet," Blecky said, "expect its purple, and it-"

"OW!"

"-shoots rocks at people." He didn't even bother hiding the grin on his face when Luigi was assaulted by rocks during his feeble attempt to feed this different-colored and semi-hostile squiglet.

Other the the occasional squig attacked, curtesy of Luigi eventually squishing the first one with his hammer, nothing else seemed to stop the hero as he eventually approached a sign indicating his eventual arrival to the mountainous region of Lineland, Mount Lineland, leading to Yold Town. With the afternoon sun shining bright, our hero headed forward in anticipation to finally meet the mysterious Bestovius in his town of residence, unaware of the dangers ahead.

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Hermite Crab

Debut: Mario & Luigi: Dream Team

Hey, remember all those years ago when we did our Crab Week event? That was nearly four years ago! Jeez! If you were a follower during that time, you are entitled to a free legacy content pack, containing exclusive skins as well as some premium currency. Check here for details on how to claim it!

Anyway, there are always so many crabs to post about! So so many! And Hermite Crab is one of them! Society wants to condition you to believe that Hermite Crab is a hermit crab, but I know you are strong, and you can overcome that. Are you ready to learn Hermite Crab’s true identity?

It is... a TRUE crab! Abdomen neatly contained under the thorax, not to be used for inhabiting shells! Hermite Crab is just a regular crab that ACTS like a hermit crab, carrying coconuts to protect itself and hide under!

It likes to stick just its eyes out from underneath, and look around all sneaky-sneaky. Just a pair of cartoon eyes sticking out from under a prop, like a Banjo-Kazooie character!

If you were hoping for some Evocative Facial expressions, do not worry! Hermite Crab is not ALWAYS angry. Just usually angry, but sometimes it is absolutely gobsmacked. This can happen if it trips while throwing its coconut at you, because even though its coconut is its primary weapon, even Hermite Crab messes up sometimes, and that’s okay. Everyone makes mistakes.

To me, one of the most interesting things about Hermite Crab is actually comparing it to a Real hermit crab from the same game! I cannot for the life of me find the sprites for these precious creatures online, and do not know how to get sprites from games myself, but Dream Team contains a minigame based around digging hermit crabs out of the sand! And look how cute they are!!! These are harmless little creatures, and far less cartoony than the enemies in the game, making it clear that these are “regular” hermit crabs, just like the ones we have in real life. And that brings up some weird questions about enemies like Hermite Crab!

Hermite Crab is clearly not a “regular crab” when stuff like this exists in the same world, on the very same island. So what is it? Simply a more aggressive, Mario-exclusive species related to regular crabs, or something more sinister? Does it only exist as a Bad Guy version of a crab, a wicked reflection? Does any given animal in the Mario world have a Bad Guy version? Enemy species like Goombas and Koopas have free will and can easily be peaceful, so can a Hermite Crab have anything other than malice in its little crusty heart? Or does it truly put the Mal in Malacostraca?

Anyway, I will end this post with a Real Crab! While Hermite Crab is not a hermit crab, it is not detached from reality, as true crabs in the family Dorippidae will carry whatever they please as camouflage and protection! This one is carrying an urchin, to protect itself from Marios!

[earthnashes]

Also, is there any crime problems in the Koopa Kingdom? Not necessarily kingdom-threat scale, but is it there? I'm considering making my Goomba OC's father be a former criminal who was forced back into doing crime. I'm also considering making a Kaiju-koopa in the same group of the criminals who the Goomba's father is forced to work with, who's just working with the 'gang' to make ends meet for his family, and dreams of being a comic-book author.

Crime in any kingdom within the Convention is notable for being at an all-time low. I can imagine crime once did happen at a higher rate in Koopa Kingdom specifically because of how it was ruled up until Bowser, but it isn't something I'm terribly invested in exploring.

Any crime that does happen in the AU is generally petty, overall harmless, and rarely results in harsh punishment. The name of the game is to try to give resources to people who do commit these crimes so they don't do it again, since it's often a symptom of being unable to get what they need for survival: food, clothes, tools, even money in specific cases.

Punishment in cases like this is often monitored community service and trying to meet their needs, but repeated offense after gaining needed resources are punished a little more harshly, with some time in small facilities that works to try and figure out why, exactly, these small crimes are being committed by the individual.

Violent crime doesn't really happen, not within the Convention kingdoms at least. Name of the game is world-peace, and they've almost achieved that; that includes the lack of violent crime, so there's really no such thing as gangs or crime syndicates in any kingdom. Basically it's so safe no one really fears anything.

Which is why the most Pirates are so horrible in this AU; they're the exact opposite of what the kingdoms stand for and do all and any heinous crime they want: Murder, kidnapping, trafficking, violent robbery, so on.

[skinks]

so i watched the to do list this morning cos i saw your post abt it and bills good in it but WHAT is UP with his hair. Its awful. I love it.

it’s GREAT, but then, I’m the one who likes long metalhead hair so my judgement’s skewed. he looks like an unkempt goomba it’s awful and he has never, ever looked better to me, To Do List Bill is the pinnacle of Bill hotness, not just because of his wet arm hair that I want to lick until it’s spiked up like a hedgehog, but because it’s a sweet fun role. Harmless dumbass stoner who feels misguidedly responsible for teenagers, and who stands up to shake the hand of the father of the girl he’s literally still inside, and kinda keeps fucking her a little bit while holding her up? Ding ding ding ding ding

Also I’ve been writing a lot of ankle touching recently, so when he held Plaza’s ankle I sort of curled in on myself like a shrimp and went hnuhn hg

[thebigpapilio]

Mario Super Sluggers: Theoretical Human AU!

DISCLAIMER: By Human AU, I mean that all the playable characters are human (which seems sort of obvious to me, but you never know)! As such, they live as long as your average human lives in a non-harmful environment.

With that noted, well... as Mario would say, “Let’s-A Go!”

Captains:

Mario & Luigi: Mid-late 20s, maybe early 30s. Old enough to have the mustaches, but young enough to seem young. They run their unfortunately deceased fathers’ plumbing business.

Peach & Daisy: 2-3 years younger than Mario and Luigi tops. Working to inherit their families’ crazy rich companies - the Toadstools run a produce business, the Sarasas sell gardening supplies.

Yoshi & Birdo: Yoshi is midway in their teenage years, about 14 to 16 years old. Birdo is a little older, but still a minor (16-17). Yoshi x Birdo. Each of their families run rival diners, and Mario is a family friend of the Munchakupas family (slightly edited last name of Yoshi).

Donkey Kong & Diddy Kong: Donkey Kong is a young adult (early-mid 20s). He takes care of his nephew Diddy (13-15), and makes money by helping his family in their businesses here and there. A former criminal who turned his life around after his old team killed his grandfather without him knowing, he occasionally helps the police in their fight against his old team - the Kremlings to atone. The fuzz don’t know he was one of them.

Wario, & Waluigi: Wario and Waluigi are a bit older than the Mario Brothers, but not by much. Late 20s to mid-30s. Salesmen and occasional thieves/robbers/et cetera when desperate.

Bowser & Bowser Junior: Leader of the closest thing Toadstool and Sarasa have to a rival company, the Darklin family run the leading business for meat and general grill-based items. Tensions are high between the three companies (well, just for the Darklin - Dr. Isaac “Dry” Darklin pales before the other two), and when the boss has enough of not being number one, he has his personal blackmailed bodyguard/hitman Bowser Koopa (mid 30s to early 40s) go to eliminate Peach & Daisy (that, or his preteen Junior gets it). Mario and Luigi, who were called to fix something (there was nobody else open and not rude), notice and step in. Although he gets away, they still are rewarded for more than the plumbing job. Word spreads of the “Super Mario Brothers,” and from there, things get better and worse for all parties involved.

Minor Characters (assume all multicolored characters are about the same age):

Baby Mario, Baby Luigi, Baby Peach, Baby Daisy, & Baby DK : Nonexistent in this AU. Maybe flashbacks?

Toads: Workers at Toadstool and Sarasa. If you look around the hotel for all of them, you’ll usually see 5 of them at most.

Toadette: Toadette is Sarasa’s Head of Staff.

Toadsworth: Toadsworth is Toadstool’s Head of Staff, as well as Peach’s personal assistant and teacher.

Piantas and Nokis: Mario Brothers’ neighbors. Three brothers and three sisters

Dixie Kong, Funky Kong & Tiny Kong: Diddy Kong’s girlfriend. Dixie met Diddy when DK saved her and the other two from the Kremlings (though they lost not only family members Chunky & Kiddy but close ones such as Bluster and Lanky). Sharing the same last name is actually coincidental.

King K. Rool & Kritters: Leader and lower members of the Kremlings. K. Rool always butted heads with DK before K. Rool became leader. Responsible enough to put their differences beside them... for a while; then he tried to have DK offed. DK lived, of course.

Goomba, Koopas, Paratroopas, & Paragoomba: Used to work for Darklin in its dirtier deeds, but now freelance in crime as hired workers. Often seen working with the Wario Duo, these 6 have a weird dislike for the Kremlings (with the even weirder exception of Donkey Kong; they secretly make sure anyone after the Kongs or their close ones are dealt with). Paratroopas and Paragoomba often work as messengers and part-time at the post office for honest work.

Magikoopas: You might think they have a religious role, what with the robes and all. WRONG! They’re scientists for Darklin. Led by the one known as Kamek, they’re known as the Magikoopas because Bowser introduced them to Dry and their ability to accomplish crazy scientific feats. They aren’t actually part of the Koopa family, however; Bowser is merely longtime friends with Kamek, and rumors spread. Bowser still isn’t entirely sure if they actually know/use magic or not. Unlike Bowser, they willingly work with Darklin, as he provides means for their experiments, and that difference threatens to divide the old friends in the end.

Dry Bones, Blue, Green, and Dark Bones: Dry’s kids who were lost in an accident. The scientific skill isn’t the only reason Dry hired the Magikoopas... 

Boo & King Boo: The security team for Sarasa which Daisy occasionally lends to Toadstool, the Boos are brought in after Bowser’s attack. When on break, they like to pull harmless and wisely-targeted pranks on Luigi while he’s there.

Petey Piranha & Wiggler: Old friends of King Boo called in as extra support. Petey and Wiggler is Daisy’s tutor in gardening business; think younger but bigger and far more intimidating Toadsworths for Daisy.

Shy Guys: A gang. They’re seen redeemed and working for the Sarasas at the end.

Monty Mole & Blooper: Thieves who follow the same path as the Shy Guys for Toadstool.

Weapon Brothers (Hammer/Fire/Boomerang Bro): Construction workers called in after Bowser’s attack. Paid off to keep quiet about him before a later attempt.

What do you guys think? I worked hard on this, so I hope you like it!

Valete,

TheBigPapilio

[racingtoaredlight]

RTARL’s 2020 NFL Season Week 7 Extravapalooza

With the way the COVID-19 situation in America (and lots of other places around the world) is rapidly heading in the wrong direction, I’m beginning to genuinely wonder if the NFL is going to have to pause the season for a few weeks as some states potentially decide that the gatherings that come with staging a football game are less than necessary. 

Once the league decided to start the season as scheduled, I figured there was no way they’d stop the train once it began lurching forward, even if some unlucky teams were forced to start someone like Brian Hoyer at QB instead of their normal guy. Ahem. But, I also didn’t think things would deteriorate virus-spread wise quite to this degree. I was really giving us as a society way too much credit, it would appear. Given the resistance to the first round of shutdown measures, I think there’s a real possibility that shit could hit the fan in a way few of us have seen before if another batch were implemented, but it seems like the only option going forward for some places if they don’t get their shit together. Our choices in the very near future appear to be: court massive civil unrest spurred on by the very worst among us, or do nothing and let many of those same people carry disease to every corner of the country as hospitals become overwhelmed and people die alone and miserable. Hooray for letting the dumbest assholes dictate the courses of everyone else’s lives. 

Now for some football picks!!!

My picks are in BOLD, and the lines come to us courtesy of our friends at Vegas Insider. I use the “VI Consensus” line, which is the line that occurs most frequently across Vegas Insider’s list of sportsbooks. Your sportsbook of choice may offer a different number, and if you’d like my opinion on said number A) you are insane, and B) leave a comment below and I’ll try to answer at some point before things kickoff today.

EARLY GAMES

Detroit Lions at Atlanta Falcons (-2)

Ah, a team who recently fired their terrible head coach against a team who desperately needs to. I’m glad it finally appears to be dawning on Detroit’s offensive braintrust that D’Andre Swift is the best RB on the team and thus should get the bulk of the touches. You could even say he deserves the LION’S SHARE. Sorry. 

I was ready to declare Matt Ryan officially washed heading into last week’s games, but then he went out and threw for 371 and 4 TDs against the (admittedly trash-ass) Vikings defense, and now I just don’t know. Does having Julio Jones in the lineup really make that much of a difference for him? Maybe! This game should be enjoyable slop and I don’t have any strong leanings one way or another. I’ll pick the Falcons just because a Lions loss gets them one step closer to freedom from their dipshit Goomba-from-Mario-Bros-lookin’ motherfucker of a head coach.

Cleveland Browns (-3.5) at Cincinnati Bengals

I like to make fun of the Browns just like everyone else, but I’d prefer to see less digital ink spilled on QB Baker Mayfield’s crappy play and more celebration of DE Myles Garrett instead. Garrett is AWESOME. Through 6 games he has 7 sacks (2nd in the NFL) and 3 forced fumbles (also 2nd in the league), and those numbers don’t fully capture how disruptive and nightmarish he is for opposing offenses most weeks. Sure, he maybe tried to kill a guy with his helmet last year, but c’mon. That was just a harmless little goof. No reason to hold it against him, in my opinion. Like, have you seen what Mason Rudolph looks like? He had it coming.

I feel bad every time I pick against Joe Burrow because I want he and I to be friends, but *points to previous paragraph about how Myles Garrett swallows planets whole*.

Pittsburgh Steelers at Tennessee Titans (-1.5)

Last week I wrote a whole big thing (with stats to back it up!) in the Titans blurb about how Derrick Henry wasn’t playing well and was potentially wearing down, and then he proceeded to rush for over 200 yards and 2 TDs, including an unreal 94-yarder. I concede that I may have been misguided, and that attempting to use research is for lameass nerds. That said, I HIGHLY doubt he’ll have a huge day against the Steelers defense, but the combo of Henry and the Ryan Tannehill-led passing game should be able to put up enough points to win. 

These teams are both very good and very evenly matched, but I don’t want to pick Pittsburgh because I actively dislike them. You won’t find that kind of analysis on Football Outsiders, friends.

Carolina Panthers at New Orleans Saints (-7)

New Orleans will be without WRs Michael Thomas and Emmanuel Sanders for this one, and I think QB Drew Brees is too far over-the-hill to make chicken salad out of the chicken shit that remains in their group of pass catchers. RB Alvin Kamara is great, but he can’t do it by himself. Oh, and speaking of Michael Thomas, a report came out yesterday that the Saints are open to dealing him. This report came from Mike Florio, so grain of salt and all, but it did lead to me reading a rumor that Thomas’ teammates hate him and secretly call him “Can’t Stand Mike,” a play on his “Can’t Guard Mike” Twitter handle. I found this hilarious and very much want it to be true.

Let’s raise a glass to Panthers backup RB and fantasy football savior Mike Davis, as his gravy train likely comes to a halt after today with the impending return of Christian McCaffery. The New Orleans rush defense is very good, so I don’t see him going out in a blaze of glory, but his out-of-nowhere statistical bonanza deserves to be celebrated.

Buffalo Bills (-10) at New York Jets

LOL Jets Head Coach Adam Gase still hasn’t been fired despite losing 24-0 to Miami last week. What’s it gonna take, I wonder? A second consecutive shutout may do it, but the Bills defense has been terrible, so it’ll take a real commitment to ineptitude for the Jets to put up their second squadoosh in a row. NY QB Sam Darnold is returning to the lineup, but he’s going to be without his best weapon, WR Jamison Crowder. I honestly feel terrible for poor Sam, as he was drafted into the worst situation I can remember. At least David Carr was hit enough that he likely doesn’t remember ALL of the bad stuff. 

Nearly all of the Bills’ TEs are in the COVID-19 protocol, so I’m not sure how they’re gonna address that. BRING BACK JAY RIEMERSMA!

Dallas Cowboys at Washington Football Team (-1)

The Cowboys being underdogs against Washington is hilarious, even more so because it’s justified. I thought QB Andy Dalton would do a decent job leading the Cowboys offense last week against Arizona, and I was very, very wrong. I still think he can get his shit together somewhat, but the ceiling for this team has been lowered to “Darren Sproles might have to duck a bit” height. I can only condone watching this game for schadenfreude purposes, but even that’s stretching it. Any more than a quarter is just straight-up masochism.

Green Bay Packers (-3.5) at Houston Texans

I’m simultaneously excited to watch this game and struggling to come up with anything novel to say about it. I’m interested to see how Green Bay deploys their awesome CB Jaire Alexander, as whichever Texans WR avoids him is likely to be peppered with targets. Shoutout to Will Fuller’s hamstrings for holding up so far and allowing him to kick ass. 

As of right now it looks like Green Bay will be without studly RB Aaron Jones and sexy touchdown beast TE Robert Tonyan, which isn’t great. But, if there’s one opponent where you should still be ok using a backup RB, it’s the Houston Texans and their atrocious rush defense. Wait, why am I picking Houston? Whatever, fuck it, the heart wants what the heart wants.

LATE GAMES

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-5) at Las Vegas Raiders

A couple of days ago, it looked like the entire Las Vegas offensive line might miss this game due to being placed on the COVID-19/Reserve list. As of this writing, all those beefy boys are cleared to play, which is good news since they’re going against Tampa Bay’s top-shelf defense (ranked #1 in defensive DVOA). Even with their full compliment of offensive personnel, I still predict many hilarious angry and frustrated faces from Jon Gruden.

Tampa Bay has decided to sign WR Antonio Brown, despite already having two Pro Bowl-caliber receivers in Mike Evans and Chris Godwin. It’s pretty clear this signing was done entirely because QB Tom Brady wanted it, as Brady has been pushing for his team to sign Brown going back to last year in New England. It’s so weird, Tom Brady doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who would advocate for an emotionally unstable and supremely narcissistic accused rapist who’s left multiple organizations in disarray upon his unceremonious departure.  

Kansas City Chiefs (-7.5) at Denver Broncos

Fuck yeah, our first potential snow game of the year! The gametime forecast as of right now calls for 5-degree windchill temps with a 35-40 percent chance of flakes throughout. That sounds horrible to play in, but glorious to watch. If we don’t get at least one shot of steam rising off of an offensive lineman’s head I’m gonna be pissed. I’m curious to see what Kansas City does with newly acquired RB Le’Veon Bell in this game. He’s definitely played in more winter-weather games than my boy Clyde Edwards-Helaire, so do they give him more carries this week than they would normally? I hope not, but I can definitely see the argument for it.

San Francisco 49ers at New England Patriots (-3)

I’m a little shaken (relatively, I’m not a complete lunatic) by how shitty New England, and Cam Newton in particular, looked against Denver last week. The lack of practice time due to multiple COVID-related outbreaks is a valid reason for it, but still. I think the Niners are the much better team when healthy, but they’re gonna be missing their best RB Raheem Mostert for this game (and the next few), which does impede their power-run game somewhat. Backup Jerick McKinnon is still very good, he just has a different, less-demoralizing style. Handsome Jimmy will have to make some plays, and I think he can do just enough. The overall talent gap will be too much for NE to overcome, I fear.

Jacksonville Jaguars at Los Angeles Chargers (-7.5)

The Jags have lost five straight games coming into this one, while the Chargers have dropped four in a row. Something’s gotta give! I will say that the Jacksonville losses seem more depressing (3 of them were by double-digits), while even though L.A. is losing, they at least feel exciting. A shiny rookie QB who looks decent will do that, I guess. Still, I’m riding with my man Minshew to cover one last time here. If he fails, well, I think it’ll be time for us to go our separate ways. “Separate Ways” by Journey is also what plays in Gardiner Minshew’s helmet speaker instead of play calls, coincidentally. 

SNF: Seattle Seahawks (-3.5) at Arizona Cardinals

Seattle’s already abysmal secondary is going to be down Pro Bowl safety Jamal Adams for this one, so Cards QB Kyler Murray should be able to sling it around with relative ease. His best weapon, WR Deandre Hopkins is Questionable with a lingering ankle injury, but he’s been playing through it so far and it hasn’t seemed to slow him much. I think this is the week the magic runs out for the Seahawks, and they take their first L of the season. Russell Wilson can’t bail them out EVERY time. Probably. This game is likely to be the stylistic opposite of the Monday nighter, because...

MNF: Chicago Bears at Los Angeles Rams (-6)

...all signs point to this being a butt-ugly game. I like good defense, don’t get me wrong, but nobody should purposely watch Nick Foles and Jared Goff play QB against competent defenses. I suppose I can see some entertainment value in getting to see both Aaron Donald and Khalil Mack torment quarterbacks in the same game, but I think I’m gonna pass for the same reason that I don’t really like to watch animals get eaten in nature shows. I get that it’s the way things are meant to happen, but damn. I’m a real wimp, by the way.

Last Week’s Record: 7-7

Season Record: 44-38-4

[lore-of-the-mushroom-kingdom]

Wild Goombas

So there is a location you can go to in Super Mario Odyssey located in the Mushroom Kingdom. When you read about it in the brochure it's established as a place overun by Goombas. The place is refered to as Goombas Woods because it has a bunch of Wild Goombas in it. But something I wonder is how exactly do wild Goombas work?

The reason these Goombas are called wild Goombas and are Goombas that are clearly not working for Bowser. But the also attack Mario and the brochure mentions having to deal with these fearsome beasts. So are these Goombas like feral? Because we know while there are Goombas that work for Bowser who are traitors, but we also know friendly Goombas exist throughout the world including ones that didn't betray the Mushroom Kingdom. We also know Goombas are just as intelligent as any other character in this world.

Side note honestly creatures that aren't sapient are very rare in the Mario World. The Wild Goombas are obviously living in the Mushroom Kingdom but seem to be generally aggressive. So I question are they feral?

Another instance of something like this the Gloombas. In Paper Mario 64 you can come across a species of Goombas called Gloombas. These Goombas are described as nasty Goombas that live in the tunnels of Toad Town. They aren't described as working for Bowser, or residents of the Mushroom Kingdom. They are attack Mario and friends as well seemingly acting similar to the Wild Goombas. So are these Gloombas wild Gloombas?

[crusherthedoctor]

Am I the only one who thinks that people underrate Chaos 0 as a threat? Like, I heard people complain about Tails acting as a coward towards him which I can understand their point as I didn't like that either, but it also annoys me that they seem more annoyed about the fact that he was afraid of Chaos 0 himself, implying he was just as harmless as any other mook unless he transforms :/

It’s probably because Tails was able to confront and defeat Chaos 4, so him not trying to fight back against a weaker form is all the more strange.

Still, as disappointing as it was to see Tails cower, at least Chaos is the God of Destruction himself. Compare that to the Nightmares - the Goombas of Dark Gaia spawn - that he ran away from in Unleashed.

[spicynbachili1]

Check out the blogs of 10/7 to 10/13/2018 and ponder the worth of Waluigi

WAAAH an exquisite world

When Tremendous Smash Bros. Final was introduced, and Masahiro Sakurai promised that it’ll each bit value that “Final” moniker, followers of various fringe characters have been thrilled. Every hoped that their beforehand ignored favorites could be included on this most final of online game celebrations.

Waluigi followers have been the loudest. In any case, Waluigi was the king of fringe.

And so, in a fated E3 2018 Nintendo Direct, Waluigi was revealed… as an Help Trophy, confirming his absence as a playable character. That’s the purpose during which one thing unusual occurred. For some motive, Waluigi followers sprang via the online, converging collectively in a important mass of “WAAAAH”s and “WALUIGI TIME!” cries.

It was the explosion of a little-known web meme into full-blown mainstream recognition and outrage tradition. Predictably, the tireless Sakurai was harassed and harangued repeatedly, the sport was dismissed by a vocal minority and followers of different characters have been flamed in on-line boards for not agreeing with the WAAAAH brigade.

For some motive, the king of fringe was anticipated by some to participate within the sport, as if his place in it was solely pure. This outrage, if nothing, assumed that it makes primary sense to incorporate Waluigi within the sport.

This ignores one primary reality.

The truth that, as a personality, Waluigi simply plain sucks.

Let’s assessment the character historical past. Needing a doubles associate for Wario within the Nintendo 64’s Mario Tennis sport, Camelot Software program (who have been creating the sport for Nintendo) simply threw collectively this character. He was a spin-off of a spin-off character, who can be a rival of a spin-off character. Every thing in his design is thrown collectively, together with the identify. The Wa, in Wario, was a pun for evil in Japanese. It was meant to roll off the tongue and be a corruption of the well-known plumber’s identify. Waluigi is simply an extension to Luigi’s identify; “Evil Luigi” mainly. All signs of inventive chapter, as if he was created by some Sonic fandom web site moderately than Nintendo themselves.

From that time ahead, featured solely in Mario spin-off titles. Leaping hoops in a single sport, driving maniacally in one other, and to the riotous pleasure of his followers, signaling his crotch at one time. Within the sum of those video games, he’s simply one other additional character, somebody to spherical out the numbers.

Whereas the characters who impressed him, Wario and Luigi, each went on to have their separate solo video games that showcased their character. Waluigi simply “WAAAAH”-ed his manner into extra spin-off video games. One motive is that, like Daisy, the character merely had little character to showcase.

Within the newest Mario Celebration sport, the place you’ve entry to lots of Bowser’s minions as playable characters, Waluigi’s faults are laid naked. Even probably the most harmless of Goombas have extra attraction and character than this web celeb.

For some motive, the web mistook their created meme, one thing fully unbiased of the character as Nintendo have utilized him, and took that as his canon character. Perhaps, simply possibly, the internet-created Waluigi is value contemplating for Final.

Nonetheless, not like the true Waluigi…

A Goomba could be a greater and extra iconic match.

“WAAAAH!”

*- Agent 9 has showcased seven completely different online game tracks within the final week (as you’ll be able to see under), and the highest one, in my view, is the spooky “Unusual Home” theme from Pokemon, which rivals the legendary “Lavender City” theme with its model and creepiness.

S- Like final 12 months, Agent 9 is again along with his October themed weblog collection the place he discusses one horror-themed tune every single day and sometimes provides out prizes. This is a wonderful collection that goes into respectable depth on the background and impact of every tune. Listed here are the blogs he wrote this week:

The Pokemon collection has its fair proportion of spooky tunes and spooky ranges, and the “Unusual Home” theme provides “Lavender City” a run for its cash.

Sonic just isn’t a collection you normally affiliate with horror tunes, and “Mystic Mansion” from Sonic Heroes is unquestionably a extra playful tackle a haunted mansion theme.

This tune is a extra unsettling monitor than typical, and might be a bit extra unsettling than a sport known as Leap Scare Mansion warrants.

The unique Rayman had a superb atmospheric soundtrack, and I see that the sequel continued in that model, if this creepy tune is any indication.

Ghosts will be scarier than monsters, and this creepy however hauntingly stunning theme from Oxenfree simply pulls me into taking part in a spooky sport. It has a tragic and melancholic pull to it that’s tough to let go of.

It isn’t an unusual opinion that there’s an eerie and disturbing background to many Nintendo video games, like Pikmin, for those who cease and give it some thought. As such, it’s no shock that Agent 9 selected a boss theme from the sport, “Waterwraith Assault,” as a tense reminder of the numerous Pikmin cries of agony you expertise all through.

Even horrible video games can have good music, as this monitor from Steel Gear Survive can verify. Would not change anybody’s opinion concerning the sport although.

S- This can be an enormous enterprise by depheonix, who’s writing a horror story the place the Dtoid group can select what occurs subsequent. Give this story a learn and assist the characters survive (or ensure that they die you sadistic monsters).

S- Becoming the theme of this month, Xeo shares this story of his expertise rising up in a haunted home. I do know that not everybody believes on this type of metaphysical factor, however the story is value it only for the immersive writing.

R- If I needed to guess, I might say that every one the video games Kerrik52 will assessment this month might be horror themed, and we begin off with this assessment of Koudelka, a little-known title that’s impressed by JRPGs and the primary Resident Evil sport in equal measures.

R- There might be every kind of arguments for the genius of Shenmue, however Spazzzh20 is having none of that on this assessment of the newly launched assortment of the 2 Shenmue video games.

R- Like along with his final assessment, Spazzzh20 does a fantastic job within the textual content. This time they’re reviewing the DS model of The World Ends With You, however I really feel the assessment desperately wants a number of footage to showcase the sport.

A- Now we have many gifted individuals at Dtoid, and triggerpigking will take artwork commissions from the group at demand. Go over and take a look at samples of the work and see if you’re .

F- Now we have an enormous Dr. Who fan in our midst, and that needs to be nice for any followers of the physician who need to focus on the most recent episodes in a wonderfully spoiler-rich setting. Boxoftreatsman214 will focus on every new episode of Dr. Who as they arrive out, so learn on if you’re .

F- If the above dialogue does not curiosity you in any respect, with Dr. Who being utterly alien to you (HAH), then it is best to learn Boxoftreatsman214’s weblog right here that particulars precisely what there’s to like concerning the present.

F- The discharge of Venom was extra profitable than most critics thought, however not everybody who loved the film, regardless of its failings, is happy with its extra campy facets, as Ryu2388 reveals on this assessment of the movie.

T- With the ever rising graphical constancy of TV screens, this tech-focused weblog by Retrofraction is a stable argument towards being pulled by the most recent in 4K tendencies. It is a nice learn for anybody considering shopping for a brand new shiny 4K TV.

Final week, we managed to get 29 blogs, which is up from the earlier week and appears prefer it’s selecting up in the course of the month. We’re certain to get extra horror themed tunes from Agent 9 as nicely, and we are going to in all probability get some extra horror themed blogs too. We nonetheless want some contemporary blood on the recaps group, so give us a shout out if you’re keen to affix.

Subsequent week, you’re going to get one other Weekly Recap, protecting the times from 10/14 to 10/20. So preserve studying and writing blogs!

Be Fortunate

Weblog Depend: 18

FPotW

Final Posted Recap (9/30 to 10/6)

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[lore-of-the-mushroom-kingdom]

Cheep Cheeps Are Not Harmless Part 1

In Super Mario Bros. Wonder a little detail was added for the Red Cheep Cheeps, that detail is that they bite Mario. This explains why Mario takes damage when he touches them similar to Goombas and Koopas.

We've known for a long time that Red Cheep Cheeps become Boss Bass or Cheep Chomp try to eat Mario, and one type of Cheep Cheep bites Mario in Super Mario Sunshine. But we've never known how normal younger Red ones harm Mario, especially since they never actively target Mario like say Spiny Cheep Cheeps do. The only indication we had that they do this was from The Super Mario Bros. Movie, which only parallels this behavior.

This is also why hypotheses that place Mario as evil and Cheep cheeps as harmless are just wrong.

Bonus

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Wanderin’ Goom

Debut: Wario Land: Super Mario Land 3

Everyone knows Goombas. Many know Galoombas. A handful know Goombrats. A few know Goombuds. The truly worthy know Goombos. But wouldn’t you know, that’s still not all the Goomba-like creatures in the Marioverse!

Here we have the Wanderin’ Goom, the most anatomically divergent of all- looking more like a bun with sesame seeds than a Goomba- but its name suggests at least SOME relation. 

You may notice that Wanderin’ Goom radiates no malice whatsoever. No fangs, no angry eyebrows, not even a frown! And that’s intentional, because these are 100% harmless. As dangerous as a baby manatee. I was going to just say manatee, but I suppose a manatee COULD theoretically cause you harm, it it were to somehow be dropped on you, so. Baby manatee.

So basically, this is the perfect creature to serve as the Goomba of a Wario game! I don’t think this legally qualifies as an enemy at all. This is just an innocent creature trying to live its life and avoid predators, but Wario is the apex predator in any habitat he enters! 

The first Wario Land really does a great job of feeling like a “corrupt” Mario game. All the elements of a Mario game are there, like platforming and little creatures to bop and blocks to get goodies from and silly music, but it’s all just off. Wario is slow and lumbering and solves his problems with violence rather than agility. The little creatures fear HIM. The blocks are sentient, and NOT happy about being hit. And the music is... well, it’s definitely music for Wario to jaunt around to!

I’d consider Wario Land to be a flawless series, where even the least enjoyable can be described as “really great” at the absolute worst. And I do not consider Master of Disguise to be part of this series. Not even with the funny ghost dolphins.

But as I was saying! All the Wario Land games are great, but as the sequels developed the series’ unique identity, the first one remains the one that feels most like an “anti” Mario game. Try it if you haven’t!