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littleoddwriter · 2 years

Note

So this is my first time requesting so it’s probably really hard to read.

Maybe Ns/fw of our boy the riddler <3? Ed as the dom if you write him that way.

The reader is male, a bit shy and is Eddie’s neighbor.

When the reader introduces himself Edward gets absolutely smitten.

Somehow IDK, they become friends and the reader confesses, albeit a stuttering mess and Ed finds it so cute yet is also really flustered (poor boys).

Just two socially awkward men figuring it out

You're Mine | Edward Nashton/The Riddler x Male!Reader | N/SFW (18+)

Hi there! You did very well, it wasn't hard to read at all. :') Gosh, thank you very much for this request, I really hope you like what I've done with it! He's more of a soft dom, who just becomes a bit possessive at the end, heh. Hope that's fine! <3

summary; See above.

notes; (Cis) Male!Reader; Meet-Cute; Friends to Lovers; First Kiss; First Time; Lots of Consent because consent is sexy; Blowjob; Handjob; Light Dom/Sub; Possessiveness; Both Reader and Eddie are Virgins; Socially Awkward Men; Love Confessions; Fluff and Smut. Minors DNI.

Moving out all on your own was scary; especially after having lived with different people for all your life up to this point. After you had first moved out from your childhood home, you shared multiple apartments with all kinds of roommates, but now you felt like it was time to finally be on your own. Thus, you searched for a small apartment you could afford, not particularly in the centre of crime in Gotham City - although that was a hard feat, considering all of Gotham was a pool of various criminals. But you had found an apartment to your liking and now you had finally moved into it.

For the first couple of days, you were simply busy unloading all your stuff and setting things up in-between work and sleep. And while you did that, you debated whether or not you should go and introduce yourself to your neighbours. You've seen people do that before and they had even become friends with their neighbours, so maybe you could do that as well. But you were afraid, too. You had no idea who your neighbours could possibly be and maybe it was better that way. Right?

The decision was eventually taken from you when you were running up and down the building to load the trash from moving into your car to get rid of it the next day.

On your way out of your apartment with another box full of waste you've created - mostly cardboard and Styrofoam - you crashed into another person, who was probably just walking past your apartment to get to the one next door or the stairs.

Instantly, you dropped the box on the floor, which spilled all its contents over it, and you also lost your balance, landing on your ass.

Jolting up, you kneeled and started putting the things back in the box, while apologising frantically, "God, I'm so sorry! I hope I didn't hurt you or anything. I'm sorry. I didn’t see anything with the box in front of me—"

You interrupted yourself when you saw a second pair of hands starting to pick up your trash to put it back in the box. Looking up at the stranger, you saw it was a handsome young man with clear-framed glasses, wearing a white button-up shirt underneath his opened blue jacket, and neatly combed dark blond hair. You were kind of floored by how beautiful he was to you.

He even smiled at you. You only wanted to see him smile more often.

"It's all right. Nothing really happened," he said gently, continuing to pick up the rest of your things.

"Thank you for helping me," you told him sincerely. "Uh, I'm Y/N, by the way. I just moved in this week."

"Ah, so you're my new next door neighbour, then!" the man exclaimed in recognition. "I'm Edward."

"Nice to meet you, Edward. I've been meaning to introduce myself all week long, actually. I'm kind of glad this happened now," you admitted softly, feeling a little embarrassed about it.

"Me too," he smiled, "I mean, I'm glad too. Yeah,” he chuckled awkwardly. “Anyway! My door is always open if you need anything. I know moving out is scary. I'm kinda assuming this is your first apartment. Correct me if I'm wrong, please."

"No, you're right. I've lived with a bunch of different roommates before this and so it's quite scary to just be on my own all of sudden. So, thank you. I might have to take you up on that offer eventually,” you said with a small smile on your lips, getting up from the floor with the box back in your hands. “I should probably let you go now, though."

With a few goodbye’s the two of you parted.

______

A couple of months after this initial meeting, Edward could barely believe his luck. You and him have grown to be great friends. He’s certainly put in a lot of effort to make that happen; even though he was far too awkward and feeling slightly uncomfortable throughout. It was worth it.

Ed has been absolutely smitten with you ever since he’s first met you. You were so sweet and shy and kind of awkward, which he was relieved to notice, and you seemed like a genuinely good person. A rarity in Gotham. He’s wanted to make you his ever since.

And so he’s put in all the work to make it happen. He rang your doorbell every other day at first, talking to you, checking up on you and offering his help to you. Every time you took him up on it. He’s almost spent more time in your apartment than his own during that first month or so.

After that he let you hang a little on purpose, seeing as you had fully moved in by then and gotten used to everything. All he wanted to see with that was whether or not you would come knocking on his door after a couple of days of not talking to him at all. It would prove for him that you liked him back, and that you were worth pursuing further.

And, lo and behold, you did knock on his door after just two days, asking to come inside because he’s only ever been to your apartment, while you had never seen his. Smiling to himself, he let you inside. Things were going according to plan for him.

Now, you two sat beside each other in his bed, listening to music, while you were talking.

It has become sort of a routine for the two of you on a Friday night to unwind from the week you’ve had respectively.

“Uh, Eddie?” you suddenly voiced shakily, after a comfortable silence had settled between you two.

“Mh, yes?” he turned his head to look at you.

You weren’t looking at him, as you gnawed on your bottom lip and wrung your fingers nervously.

Edward wondered what was going on with you. What kind of terrible secret were you going to tell him that made you act like this? You haven’t been this nervous around him in a while, actually. Both of you had grown pretty comfortable with each other. He loved that.

“Uh- well- So, over the past couple of months,” you stuttered out, briefly looking at him, “we’ve become really good friends. And, uh, I really like you. And I don’t, um, I don’t- I don’t want to ruin things between us, but, uh-”

“Y/N, it’s okay,” Ed interrupted your absolute mess of whatever you were trying to tell him, “It’s just me. You can tell me anything. I’m sure it won’t ruin what we have.”

Inhaling deeply, you exhaled slowly before continuing, “I’m, uhhh, I’m in love with you, Eddie,” you quickly shot out, squeezing your eyes shut and curling in on yourself.

Feeling his face grow hot, Ed laid his hands on yours, causing you to slowly look at him. He couldn’t suppress the huge smile that fought itself on his lips. While he had wanted to be the first to confess his love to you, it made him feel all sorts of wonderful things that you had taken it upon yourself to do it before him.

Chuckling awkwardly, Edward tried to compose himself, but by God, he was so flustered by your sudden confession, he was speechless.

Eventually, though, he was able to voice his own for you, albeit not any less clumsy than yours.

“Oh, Y/N, uh, I- God. My God,” he breathed, chuckling nervously, “Um, I’m so in love with you, too. I really am.”

He could feel his neck, his ears and his entire face becoming hot with embarrassment. He was so flustered and in awe.

Even though this was exactly what he’d been working to achieve, he could barely comprehend that it had actually worked. That you had actually fallen in love with him. He’s never been with anyone. He had tried, but everyone had always rejected him. But not you.

“May I, uh, may I kiss you?” was your response to his own confession.

Nodding frantically, Ed shifted around so he could cup your face in his clammy hands. You held onto his neck and shoulders.

Smiling at each other, you both moved in for your first kiss.

Once his lips pressed against yours, he heard angelic choirs sing in his mind, while electricity seemed to explode from his lips and run through his entire body.

When you parted, both of you only leaned back enough, so you could breathe and speak freely, while merely a few inches apart.

Shyly, you licked your lips. He followed the movement with his eyes, feeling his cock stir slightly.

“Wanna do it again?” he asked after a moment. His gaze flickered between your eyes and your lips.

You simply nodded and leaned in to capture Ed’s lips in a chaste kiss. But he didn’t want it to stay innocent. He wanted more. He moved his right hand to the back of your head and tilted his own slightly, so he could deepen the kiss, putting all the love and passion he felt for you into it.

Edward heard you make a surprised, but excited, sound in the back of your throat in response. He wanted to elicit more of those noises from you.

As he licked your lips, you opened your mouth for Eddie’s tongue to explore it, making you moan slightly. He could feel your face grow hot under his hand that held onto your cheek.

As he kept making out with you, he shifted you both so he lay on top of you, between your spread legs. When your crotches touched and he could feel your hardening cock against his own, you both moaned in unison, breaking the kiss at last.

“Too fast?” Ed asked, looking you over to assess you.

“Perfect, actually,” you admitted shyly, “I, um, I’ve been thinking about this a lot.”

Smiling, he pecked your lips, “Me, too.” He paused and then asked, “How far do you want to go tonight?”

Hesitating, you opened and closed your mouth a couple of times. He thought you were entirely too endearing and kissed your cheeks.

“I don’t know,” you said softly, “Let’s figure that out as we go, okay?”

“Okay,” he agreed before capturing your lips in another passionate kiss.

This time, he broke it pretty soon, though, and kissed along your jaw and down your neck. Experimentally, he sucked on your skin there. As you let out a moan, he felt assured enough to keep going. He wanted to bruise you, so everyone knew that you were his now.

When he thought that there would be a nice purple bruise, he let up, admiring your reddened, spit-slick skin.

“God, you’re so beautiful,” he breathed, exhaling slowly and letting it turn into a groan.

He was so far gone for you.

In response, you hid your face in your hands and shook your head, “Thanks.”

Chuckling, he gently took your hands into his and removed them from your face.

“Believe me when I say that you’re the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen,” Eddie told you sincerely.

Looking dumb-founded, you nodded, “Okay,” you swallowed thickly and continued, “I think that’s you, though. The- the most gorgeous man, that is.”

Edward really couldn’t believe his luck with you. You were absolutely perfect to him in every possible way.

Gently running his hands down your torso, Ed took the hem of your shirt into his palms, silently asking to take it off. You nodded. He pulled it up and you sat up slightly so he could pull it over your arms and head.

Uncaring, he balled it up and threw it over his shoulder. Both of you smiled at each other, enjoying yourselves.

Then, he took his own shirt off and quickly let it join yours wherever it may have landed.

Leaning back down, Edward supported himself on his forearms, as he made his way down your naked torso with his lips and tongue, following a trail from your collarbone to your nipples, which he swirled his tongue over until they stiffened and you thrust your hips up in desperate need. He kissed down your stomach, nuzzling your happy trail, and eventually reached your pants’ waistband.

“May I?” Eddie asked, pointing at your crotch. He could see the outline of your hard cock and it made his mouth water. God, he wanted you so badly.

“Uh, sure!” you smiled nervously at him, making Ed pause in concern.

“We don’t have to go any further, Y/N. Just be honest with me, please. Okay?” he said, stroking over your thighs soothingly.

“No, no, uh, I want this. Please, Eddie. I’m just nervous is all. I really want this, though.”

He believed you. He trusted you.

And so he undid your pants’ button and unzipped your fly, pulling your pants off and letting them fall to the floor. Your underwear and socks soon followed, leaving you naked and vulnerable underneath him. This was the first time he felt powerful when he wasn’t being the Riddler. It was absolutely intoxicating.

“Can I touch you?” he asked after he took off his glasses and put them on the bedside table.

Nodding, you smiled bashfully, “Yeah, I’d like that.”

With a smile of his own, he wrapped his hand around your hard, dripping cock and just held it for a second, admiring its weight and its warmth. You made an appreciative sound in the back of your throat in response.

“Tell me if you need me to stop,” Eddie said before he shuffled down, so he was face to crotch, and planted a short kiss on your tip, making you moan in surprise and pleasure.

“Okay, keep going,” you told him, as your hands found his hair, gripping it lightly.

While Ed has never actually done this before and he was feeling anxious of fucking it up, he trusted you to not judge him for that. From what he could tell, he was your first, too.

With that thought, he held your cock around the base and licked the pre-come off the tip, taking the head into his mouth and lightly suckling on it. The taste was a little weird, but he would get used to it quickly, he knew.

Hearing your moans spurred him on, and so he started to take more of your cock into his mouth, stopping when he could feel himself resist. He didn’t want to gag on it.

Breathing shallowly through his nose, Ed stayed like this until he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Is it okay like this?” he asked, feeling uncertain, but unwilling to stop or to outright tell you that. He could do this.

“More than okay, actually,” you said, breathing heavily.

Feeling assured, Edward took your cock back into his mouth, less this time, and wrapped his hand around what he couldn’t take otherwise. Then he bobbed his head slowly, trying out how it felt to move with your dick in his mouth. Once he got the hang of it, he went a little faster and sucked on it whenever he reached your cock head. With his own spit slicking the way a little, he also started moving his hand along with his head.

He internally felt relieved that he seemed to be doing a decent job so quickly, as he heard you moan and groan loudly above him and you seemingly involuntarily pulled at his hair, making him gasp in surprise.

“Fuck, Eddie!” you exclaimed, “I think I’m gonna come soon!”

Letting up, Ed raised his head and kept stroking your spit-slick cock with his hand.

Staring at you with half-lidded eyes, he firmly said, “Tell me that you’re mine.”

Moaning, you arched your back a little, thrusting your hips up to meet his quick strokes.

“Tell me that you’re mine,” he repeated.

“I’m yours, oh, fuck, Eddie, I’m yours!” you groaned in pleasure, throwing your head back, “All yours!”

“Come for me,” he commanded, letting whatever possessed him to go down this route suddenly take charge. He needed this.

Moaning loudly, you arched your back, let go of his hair and buried your hands in the sheets, gripping it until your knuckles turned white, while you came all over your stomach and Edward’s hand.

“I love you, Eddie,” you sighed, once you’ve come down from your orgasm and he wiped down his hand and your stomach with wet wipes he kept in his bedside table’s drawer.

Smiling, Ed kissed your lips and murmured, “I love you too, precious.”

You closed your eyes with a blissful smile on your lips. He knew you were beat and that you would probably drift away within seconds, so he didn’t even attempt to remind you of his own erection, which was still straining against the confines of his pants. He could wait until later.

Lying down beside you, Eddie pulled up the blanket over your naked body, so you wouldn’t get cold, and wrapped his arms around you.

“All mine now,” he whispered, smiling to himself.

#nsft fic #minors dni #this is nearly 3k words long wtf #anyway i hope this is okay? i have no idea i struggled to write this for no apparent reason tbh #x male reader #male reader #male reader insert #edward nashton #ed nashton #edward nashton x reader #the riddler #the riddler x reader #dano riddler #dano!riddler #dano riddler x reader #paul dano #danonation #fanfiction #fanfic

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forbidding-souda · 2 years

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since im already here im gonna leave another yasuhiro request because gosh darnit i love that man ʕ； •`ᴥ•´ʔ

can we get some yasuhiro x m reader hcs where the reader gives yasuhiro the silent treatment after he says something really dumb/offensive and yasuhiro is trying everything he can to apologize?

(you don't have to, but if the reader accepts his apology at the end, could you write that he smothers them in kisses ok thank you (｡>﹏<｡))

Yasuhiro Hagakure trying to apologize after saying saying something dumb and making his boyfriend give him the silent treatment

i'm not doing daily posts again but I'm so fucking bored right now so I'm writing once again LMFAO I got this batman comic but it ended up being a volume 2 but harley is in it so I'm still gonna read it even though I hate reading just random volumes in stories which is a little stupid but

also update on the man I'm with since he's all I can think about uhhhh we are sharing clothes with each other and calling each other pet names which is so fucking hadnjksfdh because I'm friends with a girl he was fw and awhile ago she mentioned all the things they ain't never do together and ykkkk I be doing them with himmm.. I got him to start using tone tags for me (which turned into the gc using them) and I'm the only one who's unmuted on his phone. my contact name even has a <3 HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I call him hvlambisha holitopa because it means "my most treasured and beloved Bat" in my language since he's EMO.

currently listening: training wheels by melanie martinez

playlist: spotify blend

-Mod Souda

❤ He just be saying shit sometimes. There is a certain trait of his that you had to learn about through experience. He won't realize that something he said is offensive until he sees your reaction. Words slip from his mouth all the time, and sometimes he can catch them before he finishes his sentence (as in, he's offended you with it before, and he's learning his lesson).

❤ When he finally says something that really irritates you, the first thing you do is squint at him. Is he going to take it back? Is he going to apologize after he realizes his audacity?

❤ But no, he just continues.

❤ I don't think he'll notice the silent treatment until like a the next day ngl.

❤ He'll be like "oh they must not be in a good mood," and then google what to do and it'll be like give them space and he's like okay!!!

❤ And then it doesn't get better and he's like wait I think they mad at me...

❤ He will like be awkwardly scratching the back of his neck trying to figure out if he should approach you or not. Like literally, that's what he's doing, and you can see him in the corner of your eye.

❤ He'll like leave some snack out on the kitchen counter with a small note that says sorry :( in his sloppy handwriting. That's his first move.

❤ He is like - what do they do in the movies? Is he supposed to buy flowers?

❤ What flowers should he buy?

❤ He does not end up buying the flowers but god was he thinking about it.

❤ He mostly focuses on brainstorming. If words cause the problem then maybe words will help solve it?

❤ He still leaves tiny things around that he knows you like along with notes.

❤ He decides that if those won't work then he will just confront you and apologize.

❤ The thought of making you more upset is what lingers in his mind so that's what prevents him from apologizing immediately. Give them space, give them space, give them space. That's all that's in his head.

❤ When he finally does apologize he does so by walking up to you, trying to make it look like everything is perfectly fine. He tries to look confident but it doesn't work. You can see sympathy written all over his face (at least!).

❤ He stumbles over his words a little, which you think is cute. You honestly get a bit prideful seeing how much he cares about you, he obviously feels very bad.

❤ "It's okay," you say. "It's perfectly fine. Thank you for apologizing."

❤ When your hand cups his cheek, he absolutely melts. He missed your touch so much.

❤ He smiles and wraps his hands around your chest, bringing you in and pressing kisses to your cheek, his pecks trailing up your temples and to your forehead. "Thank you so much!"

❤ "What are you thanking me for?"

❤ He pauses. "I don't know."

❤ After rolling your eyes, you grab his face and press a kind kiss to his lips.

#yasuhiro hagakure x reader #yasuhiro hagakure #hagakure yasuhiro #danganronpa #x reader

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mashiraostail · 4 years

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Hi! Can I please get some Gang Orca, Aizawa, Vlad King and Present Mic when their S/O knows they've been having a rough week and they surprise their mans with lingerie and an evening of... *ahem* Stress relief? Also some pampering and snuggles!

o my gosh i love this song this is kinda on the longer side i have diverged into the world of p o rn

ns fw under the cut (i think it’s pretty gender neutral lmk tho!)

Kugo Sakamata/Gang Orca: Kugo tended to wear his emotions on his sleeve in private with you, stress was no different. He was clearly stretched out beyond his normal limits, and by the looks of it, he still had a ways further to go. He always got a little short with you when his work became tedious, not in a mean way just in a curt way. One word answers to your questions became favorable and for better or worse he mostly just liked to be left alone. He apologized after things were sorted he knows you’re only worried and trying to check in with him but when things pile up he gets overwhelmed even by your simple questions. You could feel the irritation appearing on Monday night, and it only piled as the week progressed, by the end of it the poor man was about to spill over with his annoyance. You were working quietly across the room from him, much less stressful and more leisurely assignments that didn’t make your heart leap out of your throat, you watch him tap his pen around on his desk, prattling the black plastic as he sat on the phone, after a moment he just hung up and sighed, that was the fourth interaction like that within the hour. You watched him forlornly, you wished there was some way for you to help relieve the tension in his shoulders, something you could say or do that would put him at ease rather than overwhelm him further. As you pondered it you realized that maybe there was something. You stand up suddenly, and the unexpected motion leads Kugo to turn and look at you expectantly. “I’m going to get ready for bed I think.” You sigh, “I’m pretty exhausted so it’s probably best to call it an early night.” It was at least worth a try, even if he’d say no, “you look tired too.” You press a kiss just below his eye, “why don’t you join me?” He shakes his head, “In a little while. I’ll be quiet.” “I wasn’t worried about that.” You squeeze his shoulders, “don’t work too hard, okay Kugo?” He just hums back at you as you leave. You were sort of worried you’d lost it, you’d boughten it a while ago but got too nervous to even put it on by yourself let alone in front of someone else. It wasn’t that you thought he wouldn’t like it, you were pretty sure Kugo could find a way to compliment you if you were wearing a trash bag, it just felt...strange. Embarrassing maybe. You couldn’t pin the word but it made you flutter nervously. When you do manage to dig it up you contemplate it for a second. You decide the nervousness will be worthwhile if it helps relieve Kugo even a little bit. You wonder how to go about it, should you just walk across the hall and bust in his office? That feels sort of curt. You look around for a moment before an idea percolates. “Kugo!” You call out to him, trying to keep an indifferent tone, “can you come here a second? I need a hand!” You hear him sigh, and you’re half expecting him to call back that the step ladder is in the kitchen. But you sit on the edge of your bed in wait, trying to look less nervous and more appealing. “What’s the matter? I’m very-” Blue, dark navy blue and barely there. He really wasn’t expecting this. He could practically see all of you, sitting on the edge of the mattress, legs crossed, thin satiny straps hardly holding the frail garment together, he’s sure just one tug from his finger would send it fluttering to the ground. He feels sort of bad for letting so much annoyance bubble up in him when you called for him. But now something else was bubbling up. It was like you’d packaged yourself up for him.. well he supposed you quite literally did. “Are you busy?” You can feel his gaze latch onto you, his eyes taking you in, up and down rapidly over and over again. “No..not...very..”

It really doesn’t take much coaxing to get him undressed and into bed. After a while of kissing him while his hands roam around the sheer blue lace that just scarcely covered you, you lower yourself to your knees in front of him. You’d been together for a while, and you were never one to hold out on him, he isn’t sure why he’s on cloud nine right now, it’s not like he’d never gotten this sort of thing from you before, your hands, mouth, and a lot more than that were always there. If he wanted you all he had to do was ask. But something about you doing this for him, because he was stressed...the way you did all this just to relieve him? It was too sweet, combined with the sight of you in that perfect outfit on your knees for him and the feeling of your lips and hands playing with his already hard cock was more than enough to wash the tension away. It cleared his head of anything but you. Big hands pull your mouth off his length, the drool and precum around your lower lip, paired with the redness washed over your face and the obscene plumpness in your lips that the stretch of his cock left behind would have been enough to make him beg if you felt any need to withhold from him. Lucky for him you did not. “Kugo-” You let him spread your legs, tread careful fingers between them pressing in one, then another while he holds you up in his lap, leaning you against his chest for leverage. “What a sweet thing you are...” His chest rumbles with it, “did you go to this trouble all to make me feel better?” His fingers knew their way around too well, his other hand splayed on your chest, careful to simply push or slide underneath the lace rather than remove it, palms and fingertips occasionally brushing over your nipple, all you can do is keen and nod. “You did?” His hand on your chest pushes you closer, “that makes me so happy my love.” “Kugo-” You call for him again and he hums as you clutch his wrist, the one between your legs. “I’m right here. Hm... What would I do without you?” He murmurs it close to your ear, it sends a full-body shudder down your frame, “you always take such good care of me, and I was being cold to you wasn’t I?” “No,” you shake your head, your whole face is burning, a mixture of arousal and embarrassment at the exposure, “you weren’t-” “But I was.” He sighs, “and now I’m sorry, how can I make it up to you?” “Kugo- I just want you,” you gasp, fingers tightening around his arm, “please Kugo,” his fingers leave you at that, the loss makes your whole abdomen stutter. “Turn around and face me.” You follow his order with shaking thighs. “Aren’t you lovely?” His tongue slides over your chest as two big hands curl around the small of your back. “Can you do it?” His question falls on deaf ears, you’re already lining him up and starting to take him in, the groan that rumbles out of him only spurs you on until you’ve worked yourself up to hysterics bouncing in his lap, his low grunted praises pushing you closer to the proverbial edge by the second. You’re a nice view, Kugo’s surprised he’s lasted so long with it. He watches the flush extend down your chest, his hand occasionally treks down the small of your back to your hips, then down still to feel the stretch of you around his length, until he's just about there, then he’s guiding all your movements, pushing and lifting you with ease, an almost bruising grip gets you to roll your hips against his. You’re sheathed totally in his lap when you both finish. He enjoys watching your chest heave as you come down from it, then you fall against him. “You really do look lovely.” He wraps his arms around you, keeping you in place. “You think so?” You shuffle up his chest, “well I’m glad. I don’t know why I was nervous..” “Nervous?” His tongue glides along your neck, “about how you looked?” “Maybe, I don’t know. I thought maybe you wouldn’t like it, I...I guess I don’t know what I thought to be honest.” “Whatever you want to give to me I’d be delighted to have.” He nips your earlobe and you sigh, coiling a leg around him as he continues, “even when I get a little short with you, you’re always what I want. I’m a pushover when it comes to you.” He concedes, and then you remember. “Sorry to pull you away from all your work. I just wanted to help...” “No need to be sorry, you did help..” He’s rubbing long, tender strokes up your back, “and anyways it was an emergency.”

Shouta Aizawa: Stress wasn’t foreign to the erasure hero, though stress that came from being behind on work presented a certain dilemma. He dealt with stress by sleeping, but in this case...well sleeping would only make it worse. So he got even less sleep than normal. He was irritable at best and downright rude at worst. He’d apologize later, he always did, but at the moment all he wanted was to be left along to plug away at all the responsibilities he’d neglected until now. You felt bad, you wished there was more you could do to help him out, but as it were all you could really do is be there if he wanted to lean his weight on your arm or complain about his day, normally you’d offer a nap with him but that seemed like the last thing he’d want. You’d already left him to get ready for bed, you’d showered and were rummaging around for some pajamas when you find it, you don’t think you’d even worn it before. You wouldn’t say you and Shouta didn’t have a lot of sex, you had a decent amount, but normally fancy lingerie was left to fantasy, it looked fragile and not at all like something that would hold up against Shouta’s semi-destructive bedroom tendencies, you wonder why you bought it in the first place. Though you realize that it may be useful right about now, especially if he was in a being taken care of mood over a, doing the caring mood. You wonder how long ago you even got it, it still fit fine so it can’t be all that old. You peek out the bedroom door to make sure he’s still sitting, unsuspecting at the table in the kitchen, his back to you. When it all checked out you made your way over, sliding your arms around his neck. “Shou.” You rest your cheek against his temple, “it’s so late.” “I know.” Is his deadpan reply. “Do you need the time?” He points to the bottom right of his screen, a small digital clock displaying the hour. You huff at that, you knew he knows that’s not what you mean. “Come to bed with me.” You rub his chest over the ribbed fabric of his shirt, “please?” “In a minute.” “Shouta..please..” You whine at him and duck down to kiss his jaw, he reaches behind himself to hold onto you, he finds your shoulder, by the crook of your neck, expecting to feel the fabric of a t shirt or a tank top strap, but there’s nothing, just skin, he slides his hand over your shoulder, in search of something. His other arm reaches around too, lower, to your legs, thighs, and hips. “Are you naked?” He asks incredulously. “Maybe,” His hand finds one strap around your thigh as you continue, “or better.” He pulls away and stands, facing you, you’re still bent over resting on the back of his chair. “You-” His eyes latch onto the purple, royal purple, dark, and figure-hugging, leaving nothing to his imagination, purple that he wanted to pull away with his teeth, leaving marks on your skin behind in its place. “Where’d you get that-” “Why’s it matter?” You laugh, pulling him closer by his shoulder, “want a matching set?” “Shut up.” He wraps his arms around you despite his words. “Ready to call it a night now?” Your own arms come around his neck and he sighs. “You’re such a brat.” “You were the one being mean, if you work like this too much I’ll worry you don’t love me anymore, you know?” The trek from the kitchen to your bedroom is mostly lost in your memory. You aren’t entirely sure why you considered the possibility that Shouta would want to lay back and let you take care of him, as soon as he touched you back in the kitchen you realized all he’d really want to do was blow off steam. But you were fine with that too.

That in mind...he can be utterly cruel when it suits him.

“Are you still worried I don’t love you anymore?” His voice is low and gruff beside your ear, his lips and stubble scraping down your jaw to your neck. If you’d had plans to get on your knees for him he nixed them before you could even get started in favor of getting you where he had you now, back to his chest three fingers inside you at a grueling pace, pushing and curling and rubbing until your eyes were watering and you were arching against him, trying to get enough leverage to close yourself off. “Keep your legs open.” His other hand is at your collar bone, keeping you pressed against him, “come on, or I’ll tie you up how I want you.” You grip his arm at that you can feel him grin into your skin. “You’re gonna rip it-” You turn into him, chest stuttering, he hadn’t gone to the trouble of removing the lingerie, just pushing and twisting it out of the way of his hands. “I’ll buy you a new set if I do.” He’s teeth close around your neck, “don’t worry about it. Don’t worry about anything.” You dig your nails into his arm unsure of what number orgasm this was, honestly after 2 you felt like they just melded together anyways, it’s not like he let up nearly long enough to let you recover. “Are your eyes watering?” He mutters it into your jaw, “aren’t you cute? Is it too much?” You’re just shaking your head, keening and arching into his touch, chest heaving with helpless breaths. “No?” His voice is thick with faux sympathy, “are you gonna cry? It hurts a little to be so close, doesn’t it? Can’t take it? You’re right there aren’t you? Why can’t you cum?” He doesn’t mind the scratching, and it’s a good thing, cause if he did..he’d be an unhappy man after this all let up. “You didn’t say-” You barely get the breath in your lungs to push the words out. He’s grinning though, it’s the answer he wanted, exactly how he wanted it, breathless and needy. “You want me to say you can?” His other hand rubs your stomach comfortingly, a stark and unfair contrast to the pace of his second hand. “Is that what you want? Will you cry if I don’t?” “I’ll cry if you do too-” “I’m willing to test that, come on. Cum now.” It happens like clockwork, with Shouta it always was. Stuttering thighs, your stomach taking in shaky uneven breaths. Once your peak is there and gone both hands are softer, slower, rubbing long strokes against your sex then your stomach and chest. “That was good.” He’s murmuring it into the soft skin behind your ear, “that was so good. You’re so sweet.” His hand’s rubbing small circles over your belly, his thumb brushing over your navel. “Is that all you can do tonight?” “No,” You shake your head vehemently, “no I want you too-” He hums affectionately into your skin at that. “You are sweet tonight.” He squeezes you a little, it’s a blink and you’ll miss it moment, but you feel it. “Okay then, if this is what you want then I won’t feel bad. Lay on your chest.”

Sekijiro Kan/Vlad King: Despite how he looked Kan really wasn’t very brutish at all. But when he got like this sometimes his own strength evaded him. It made his emotions obvious, when he got too stressed even a fountain pen was liable to snap in his fist. He’d worked through all the wooden pencils in your apartment, they’d been halved and discarded in rapid succession, he was currently working through all the mechanical pencils. You hoped this all got sorted before the fountain pens, that was a mess you’d rather avoid. He was usually good at dealing with stress, long runs, combat trainings, things in that vein were usually enough to relive him of a bad couple of days. But if the discontent extended past that normally he liked talking with you, when he was stressed, upset or exhausted he liked having you hauled up in his lap, squeezing him, combing your fingers through his hair and babying him into perking up a bit. But when it got past even that stage was when you had to worry about fountain pens. He’d brush you off, just a grunt or nod as a reply as he slunk back into his seat. You tired your signature knuckle kisses to get him to warm up to you, but all you’d gotten out of him was a huff of breath. He didn’t pull his hand away from you though, until his phone started to ring, and by the time he finished his conversation and hung up he didn’t look keen on offering it to you again. “Sek.” You slide your hand into the crook of his elbow and he nods. “You should come to bed. It’s late and you don’t feel good.” “I feel fine.” He shakes your hold on his arm, “you go ahead. It is late, there’s no need for you to be up now.” Normally he’d kiss your head with a phrase like that, but all he did was break the pencil in his right hand. You sigh, “alright. Well wake me up if anything okay? If I can help at all I want to.” “I know. Thanks.” You kiss his temple as you stand up, “Don’t be too late.” He just nods at that and you close the door behind you as you leave. It’s there in your closet front and center when you open it up. You were planning on using it for his birthday...but now..well maybe it’d be enough to rescue him yet? You only got it a few days ago, you hadn’t even tried it on yet. You look between it and your reflection before settling on an idea. You stand before the closed door, separating you and Sekijiro, you’re just a little nervous, if he brushed you off dressed like this you’d be sort of crushed, but he got such tunnel vision sometimes it was a possibility in your head. But you were almost 100% there now, so there wasn’t any use in turning back. “Sekijirio.” You open the door and try to seem less anxious. “Mhm?” He doesn’t turn to look at you. You approach him without responding. “Sekijiro.” You say it harder this time and he nods more obviously, still spinning a barely together pencil in his fingers. “Yeah,what’s wrong?” You’re standing beside him and he still doesn’t look at you. “I though you were going to bed?” He says still without looking at you. “I was.” You agree. “So why didn’t you?” “I got lonely.” You put a hand on his shoulder, hoping to get his gaze on you, though you’re ineffective. “I’m really busy.” “Sekijiro.” You spin his chair. “Baby what gives, I-” He stops, maybe chokes on something. “You’re being such a brute.” You take his hands and slide them up your stomach as you drop into his lap. He hears you but all he can think about is red, lacy and showy fabric highlighting the best places, like a guide for all the places his wants to put his hands, the band around your thigh squeezing, making you look even fuller and more supple in his lap. “What happened to my big sweet man Seki?” His mouth feels dry, your holding the sides of his neck, drawing him into a kiss, and clearly encouraging him to just put his hands all over you. It was like he was having some embarrassing high school fantasy, like someone dug around his brain and picked out his most perfect fantasy and laid it out like a trap for him. “I say that..but it’s so sexy when you get all worked up..” His stomach swarms at that as your eyes cast to the abandoned pile of broken writing utensils. You’re practically whining into his lips, “ and I know I shouldn’t distract you, you said you were busy, I’m sorry I’m so needy-” “I’m not busy at all.” He barely lets you finish, “this is nothing. Don’t be sorry. I can do it tomorrow.” He was sure his class would understand if he..waited an extra day or two to return the exams.. “Just keep working.” Your hands are sliding into his shirt, “I’ll take care of you.”

He could not keep working. It was unfair of you to hold him to that standard, when you were so good at this, when you looked so good on your knees between his legs, taking him to the back of your throat, when your hands felt like that braced on his thighs. No sane person could keep working. Not when your hair was begging to have his hands in it, or when you clearly needed to be guided up and down his length by the nape of your neck. He only had two hands. And when your’s started wandering, up his abdomen, around to his waist, begging him to toss his shirt somewhere else..the work can wait, for your sake. He doesn’t mean to pull so hard, but the moan that flutters past your lips when he does indicates it may not be the worst mistake he’s ever made. He pulls you off his length and you let him go with a pop, a thin strand of something obscene connected your lips to the head of his cock, the sight of it alone was enough to make him buck his hips up into nothing. “Let’s just go to bed.” He’s guiding you to stand, “I’m done here. Let’s just go bed.” He can’t tell if the ditzy stumble and blown out pupils are just part of the act or if blowing him really does shut your brain off a little. “if you want-” Your voice jumps as he swipes you up via the back of your thighs, once your settle though you take the short walk to your bedroom as an opportunity to get your lips on him again, his shoulders, his chest, just around the neckline of his hero costume, if it even tore a little one stood the chance of sticking out. He loses his pants on the way. He just tosses you on the bed once you’re close enough, before you can protest or complain he’s kissing you quiet, then trailing his mouth down your neck and shoulders, to your chest and stomach and legs, kissing and biting and fingering, enjoying the feeling of your fingers twirling and tugging his hair, and the way you’re spreading your legs to allow him closer. He enjoys it until he’s hooking your legs over his shoulders and lining himself up, your hands brace his hips as he presses forward. If anyone asked him this was the best of both worlds, he got the physical work out plus he got you cooing in his ear? He wasn’t really sure what he was stressed about in the first place. “Fuck-” You’re gasping it out, pressing his face into your neck, “you’re amazing-” Even subtle praise makes his stomach jump, and you’re just babbling it out thoughtlessly at this point, he doesn’t blame himself for not lasting much longer after you start. His weight drops onto your chest after you finish and you heave, “jeeze Sek-” “Sorry.” He presses his face into your shoulder, “sorry.” But he doesn’t move. The way you wrap your arms around his back say you don’t want him to. “That was really good.” He’s still huffing into your skin and you hum, dragging a hand up his back. “I’ll help you grade that stuff tomorrow.” You twirl the hairs at the base of his neck around your fingertips. He groans thankfully. “I’m sorry I was being mean.” He rolls over and traps you against his chest, “you’re the best.”

Hizashi Yamada/ Present Mic Hyperactive was an understatement, manic was an intense downplay of the current state of your boyfriend. And he was doing everything but the things that needed to get done. “Hizashi-” “I can't now I need to do-” (insert thing that doesn’t need to be done at all). He had plenty of reports to fill out, from what you heard it was a busy week for patrols in the area, plus his usual grading and any work for the show. But instead of doing that he was reorganizing a record shelf. “Hizashi I-” “You don’t understand how badly I need to organize these alphabetically by title.” He doesn’t let you get a word in. “Clearly I don’t at all. Can I help at all?” You sit on the ground behind him. “No I don’t think so.” “Alright.” You concede, “I’m gonna call it a night.” You sigh, “call if you need me.” “Aye aye.” He’s scrutinizing two records as you leave him. You just needed to get him to focus on something, then he’d be fine. But what could you get him to focus on...something starts to bubble up, it might just work too..if you could get his feet on the ground in anyway at all you were sure it’d stick. It doesn’t take you long to find the box, you’d bought it for a special occasion, though with Hizashi you normally didn’t get much in the ways of planning and preparation, when valentines, your birthday, his birthday, an anniversary etc.. rolled around he was jumping your bones the moment you rolled over in the morning. You don’t think he’s ever even seen this one on you. You don’t take long to get changed, you’re inspecting yourself in the mirror when your bedroom door opens. “Babe I know you said you were going to bed but I hope you aren’t asleep because while I was cleaning out that box that I use to prop up some vinyl sleeves I found these hilarious pictures from high school of you and Nem-” He drops the pictures. “Oh.” You turn to him, “well I wanted to give you a surprise.” “You did-” He chokes it out, red flush creeping down his neck, “why are you wearing that-” “Because.” You go over to him and take his wrists, pulling him further into your bedroom, he just stumbles along with your pull. “You need to calm down Zashi baby.” “This does not make me feel calm-” It’s strangled, if he got any redder you were sure you’d see steam coming out of his ears. “You need to get all your energy out.” You press him down until he’s sitting on the edge of your bed. You roll your hips against him, and drag your lips down his jaw, one hand braced on his shoulder and the other against his chest, but you can still feel his attention waining. “Zashi.” You drop all your weight into his lap and it pulls his eyes from your dresser back to you. “Focus on me.” You guide his hands up your waist and all the fluster that had been lost as his thoughts wandered away from you returned. You realize the better thing to do is stand up and let him have things his way. “You can look or touch however you want.” You pull his hands down your hips. “So just blow off all that extra steam okay? Whatever you want, just tell me.” He looks mildly like he’s about to pass out. His hands go where you expect, your hips, around to cup your ass and his lips flutter around your stomach and waist. You elect to just sigh good naturedly and curl your fingers in his hair to keep him with you. “Can you turn around?” “Hizashi.” You frown, “don’t be distasteful.” “You said whatever I wanted-” You suppose you cant argue that so you turn around and try not to let out an embarrassing squeak or squeal when 100% of his attention is directed at your ass, one arm circling around you to hold you in place. Various articles of clothing are lost or rearranged to accommodate the touching and kissing. He manages to pull you into bed with him, still keeping your legs on either side of his head as he lays down. His arms wrap around your thighs fingers and palms running slow strokes over your sex as his teeth scrape the surrounding skin, tongue fluttering against your hole occasionally. You press against his chest for leverage and he encourages you to rock your hips against him. You eventually go for his cock, as he starts to work you up too much, getting you too close. You thumb at the head before leaning down and taking him past your lips. He seems contented with that for a while until he’s laying you out on your chest, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and pushing into you. He doesn’t stay pressed to you for too long before he’s pulling back to watch your whole body react to him. It held his attention exceedingly well. “Zashi fuck-” To say that the way you reached back and fumbled for his hand where it held the bend of your hips heightened the experience would be an understatement. “Fuck you’re really sexy-” He presses his fingers into your skin harder, “god you’re so fucking hot,” he groans watching your back shift to accommodate the way your hand searches for some purchase. Instead though he’s pushing it away and using his grip on you to turn you to your back, he pulls your legs around his waist and you follow his pull with no protest. “Fucking god,” He grunts, bottoming out as if he hadn’t pulled out in the first place, “shit, look at you.” “Zashi-” Your chest flutters with it, he can feel it under his hands. “Say my name like that again.” He mutters it, maybe more to himself, he’s unhooking one of your legs from his waist and aligning it over his shoulder. He seriously had way too much energy, you could barely keep up you felt so dizzy. “Zashi!” You keen at the deeper angle and he groans. “God you sound almost as good as you look.” He presses his forehead into your shoulder, “I’m gonna fucking cum babe-” The way you were gripping him like you’d float away if you didn’t was already more than enough for him, but the way you’re nodding, eyes squeezed shut as you gasp it out at him, “me too!” If that didn’t do the trick then nothing would. He’s against your chest, heaving. “Feel better?” You ask pulling a long strand of hair between your fingers. He hums and presses his face into your neck. “Yeah I do..” “It’s still pretty early.” You curl your arms around his back and drag your fingers over the shifting muscles below. He nods at that and takes a deep breath of you. “So..” You prompt him. “I could help you work out what you need to get done tomorrow?” “We could go again?” You speak in unison. “Again!?” You flush, “Zash you have way too much energy!”

Bonus Aizawa ending hehe: “Are you sure you’re okay?” He’s looking at you where you lay below him the next morning, he’d reached over you to click off his alarm when he caught sight of you, he’d really done a number on you. Red in all the places he’d grabbed or smacked, shapeless hickeys outlining where the lingerie had been the night before, the map on your skin the only thing left of the garment as far as you were concerned. “I’m fine.” You wave, “I’ve gotta get up soon though, I’ll be late.” You pin some of his stray hairs back, “what really matters is how are you feeling? Did I help at all? I was worried I’d only make it worse-” “I feel much better.” He leans down to bridge the gap between your lips, “I shouldn’t get so stand offish. I’m sorry. I hope you don’t really think I don’t love you.” “Of course I don’t.” You laugh, sitting up, “I’m glad you feel better now. It’s okay to need space Shouta.” You squeeze his face in your hands, “I love you and I know that you love me. I’m always here for you, even when you need space okay?” He hears your words and appreciates them, but his attention is taken by the state of your thighs, which was 1000x worse than that of your chest and stomach. “Are you sure I didn’t do too much? You can be honest with me. I know I was in a really bad mood.” He asks pushing the blanket to reveal more reddend skin. “Positive. Now you should get a few more z’s Shou.” You stretch out, “I’ve got a meeting.” As soon as your feet hit the floor your legs protest the weight of your body with everything they have. “Are you sure you’re sure?” Shouta can see your hickey covered thighs trembling as you walk around the bed to your closet, the way you hold the door knob like a life line makes it obvious. The backs of your thighs are still stained red and tensed taught to carry your weight. “Yeah I just...need to stretch is all..” “Uh-huh. Stretch.” Shouta’s just laughing at you.

#aizawa shouta x reader #gang orca x reader #hizashi yamada x reader #vlad king x reader #present mic x reader #kugo sakamata x reader #kan sekijiro x reader #bnha x reader #bnha request #aizawa shouta smut #bnha smut #smut

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canon-transgender-virgil · 3 years

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Check In (Intrulogical)

A/N: Finished this fic relatively quickly! It's a lot shorter than the Roceit one I posted earlier this week but it's still kinda a long fic lol!

Summary: Directly following the events of WTIT, Remus pops into Logan's room for what he claims is a quick chat, but that quickly grows into something more when the two actually get to talking.

Content Warnings: innuendos, swearing, intrusive thoughts, implied NS/FW (but nothing happens, dw), hurt-comfort

Logan had taken shelter in his room the moment Thomas got home from his outing with Nico. The logical side couldn’t stand to be around the other sides at the moment and he needed to sort out what was going on in his head.

The spectacled side took a deep breath and sat at his desk, staring at the wooden tabletop before slamming his fist down on it. “Fuck!” He yelled at the top of his lungs, infinitely thankful for the magic soundproofing around everyone’s rooms. What would the others think if they heard the rational, level headed (yeah right) Logic yelling expletives at random in his room?

He straightened his tie and glasses and got up, summoning a straw dummy labeled “Thomas”. He stood in front of it and glared at the doll, visibly angry, before he began ranting to it. He talked and talked, yelling at the dummy about how angry he was at being constantly ignored and pushed aside and made fun of, and if the familiar 10 notes announcing a certain Creativity’s presence hadn’t gotten his attention, he would have continued.

“My my Logan, you’ve got so much to say and no one to say it to, huh!” The moustached side raised an eyebrow, smirking at the nerd.

“...what do you want, Remus.” Logan’s words were curt, like he was trying to say just little enough to make the Dark Side leave.

“Gosh, I can’t just talk to a friend?-”

“We are not friends.”

“Ouch!” Remus pretended to be injured. “You’re so prickly, like a kinda sexy cactus! What’s up your ass today?”

Logan stopped and consulted his flashcards, hearing Remus snicker at this and trying to ignore the fact that his face was burning slightly. “Um… Ah.” He found the card he was looking for and examined it a little. “Nothing is ‘up my ass’ today, Remus. You know full well why I’m upset.”

“Uh huh, cuz I called you out on your lying ass.” He sounded irritatingly proud of that fact.

“Yes, well, you got what you wanted. Are you just here to rub it in my face?” Logan stared at Remus, though he noticeably avoided direct eye contact with the gremlin of a side.

Remus frowned. “No, actually.”

“Then you’re here to make me… feel… worse, correct?”

“Nope!” The green-sashed monster grinned.

“Then what do you possibly hope to gain from this interaction?” The blue tied Side frowned. Remus wasn’t here to bug him, or to upset him further? What reason, then, did he have to come to Logan’s room?

“It’s like I said earlier, I wanted to talk to you!”

“...what about?”

Remus shrugged. “I dunno! What do you wanna talk about?”

Logan blinked. “...excuse me?”

“Yeah! Let’s hear what you wanna talk about!” The Duke sat down on Logan’s bed and grinned up at him.

“...” The teacher was silent. “...you’re mocking me, aren’t you?”

“Huh?” Remus blinked and raised an eyebrow. “Why would I-?”

“Yes, I figured as much. Remus, I don’t have time for your games and if you’re simply going to make fun of me you can just-”

“Woah! Pump the brakes Lo, who said I was making fun of you?” The green side looked legitimately confused.

Logan crossed his arms. “Remus, statistically speaking, a total of… Zero sides share any of my interests. A total of three sides have shown aversion to or have mocked the things I consider interesting or enj- er, have a vague liking towards. Why should I believe you aren’t here to add to the latter set of data?”

“First of all, because I sat through that whole talk.” Remus joked. Seeing that Logan just rolled his eyes, he continued. “And secondly, because we also have some of the same interests! Your census of mockery only includes J-Anus, Emo Boy, Hop-Pop Patton and my dumbass brother!”

“Really? Then what are some of those shared interests, oh Duke of Imaginary Death?”

“That was terrible, one.” Remus held up his pointer finger. “And two, we both like chemistry, and poisoning, and astronomy-”

“Wait wait wait.” Logan held a hand up to silence Remus for a moment. “You… like astronomy?”

“Sure! What’s more existentially terrifying than imagining going hurtling right into the sun, or a black hole, or-” Remus’s eyes widened as he talked about the possibilities.

“Thank you, Remus.” Logic sighed. “But… why talk with… me?”

“Cuz… I kinda owe it to you? After being a dickhead all day?”

Logan blinked. “You didn’t have a phallus for a head today?-”

“Figure of speech, teach.” Remus explained curtly.

Logan ‘ah’d’ and nodded.

“And anyways… I wanted to apologize.”

That caused Logan to stop. “...you… wanted to apologize… to me?”

“Yeah, it’s weird for me too, but it’s true! I didn’t mean to make you so mad you - figuratively - blew up, I just wanted to prove a point.”

“I appreciate your use of the word figuratively Remus, and… thank you.”

“No problem!” Remus grinned and thought for a second. “So… wanna talk about forensics?”

Logan’s eyes lit up. “Do I ever!-” He stopped. “Ah, uh, I mean… If you’d like to…?”

Remus giggled. “Cute! But you don’t have to hide that, not around me at least!”

“...thank you…” Logan smiled softly and the duke’s heart just about stopped.

“Uh, um… no problem Nerdy Wolverine.” Remus smiled weakly at the cute nerd.

The logical side rolled his eyes and playfully pushed Remus’s shoulder, which brought the moustached side’s attention to just how touch starved he was - a problem for another day, Mus.

“So what d'ya wanna talk about? Black lights, true crime?”

“Both interesting conversations, but… how about another topic you mentioned earlier?” Logan sounded timid, like he was scared Remus would stop listening if he dared to change the subject.

“Oh? What’d you have in mind?” The intrusive thot tilted his head at a sickening 180 degree angle, but that didn’t seem to bother Logan.

“You mentioned being fascinated by astrology as well. Would you like to talk about that?”

“Of course I would, my nerdy Astro-Boy Toy~” Remus laughed at his own nickname, to which Logan rolled his eyes again. “What about space, starlight?”

Logan’s smile grew ever so slightly, thankfully drawing Remus’s attention to that as opposed to his pink cheeks. “Well… let’s talk about constellations. You’re a storyteller of sorts, what’s your favorite constellation origin story?”

“Ooh, how fun!” Remus grinned. “Well, I personally love the story of Aquila, the king who got turned into a golden eagle messenger thing because Zeus got jealous of how much people liked him! You know, he’s the one who brought Zeus his cupbearer, Ganymede? That’s where the Aquarius constellation comes from! He was some Trojan prince, he ended up being the god of homosexual love! Historians think his name was a euphemism, since it’s a combination of the Greek words for ‘gladdening’ and ‘genitals’!”

Logan nodded and watched Remus explain the stories, smiling at how enthusiastically Remus shared the information. Remus noticed this and stopped. “Well, how ‘bout you, teach?”

“Huh?” Logan blinked, being pulled from his thoughts by the sound of Remus’s voice.

“You wanted to talk about constellations! What’s your favorite story?”

“Oh, um… I enjoy the story of Orion, the hunter who killed so many innocent creatures that Gaea sent a large scorpion to kill him and then put both of them in the stars for all eternity.”

“Huh! So that Scorpio constellation…?”

“Yes, that’s its origin story as well.” Logan smiled.

“Funny! I would never have guessed it!” That wasn’t true. Remus knew each and every constellation origin story like the back of his palm. He loved Greek mythology, but the only thing he loved more than that was seeing how Logan’s face lit up when he got to explain it. “Any other stories?”

The teacher blinked and adjusted his glasses. “Oh, um… I also enjoy the Cassiopeia story…”

The duke’s face brightened, eagerly awaiting Logan’s explanation. The spectacled astronomer’s face turned pink when he realized this, not sure what to do with this sort of attention.

“Well, Cassiopeia was a queen in Ancient Greece and she claimed to be the most beautiful thing in creation, which Posideon took personally since he had made what he considered to be the most beautiful creatures, and those were the sea nymphs. So Posideon sent Cetus, this giant sea monster, to torment the town, and he told the citizens that if they wanted him to get rid of the monster, Cassiopeia would have to apologize. She didn’t, so they asked if they could do anything else, and Posideon said if they sacrificed Cassiopeia’s daughter Andromeda to him that Cetus would go away, so the townspeople kidnapped her and brought her down to the pier. Poseidon didn’t like that, of course, since he was really just trying to get Cassiopeia to apologize and didn’t want some poor mortal’s blood on his hands so he let Perseus save her and kill Cetus.

“As punishment for almost letting her daughter die to save her own pride and for insulting the gods, they put her in the sky upside down on a chair to humiliate her for the rest of time.” Logan had gotten pretty excited while he explained the story, grinning widely as he finally finished it.

Remus was silent the entire time, watching how happily Logan told him a story he’d heard a million times before and thinking about how nice it was to be able to hear it from the nerd’s perspective.

Logan, finally remembering Remus was there, coughed softly and adjusted his tie, his smile fading. “Um, apologies, Remus. Thank you for letting me ramble.”

“Lo, you were telling a story! That’d be really dickish for someone to just cut you off during a story, you know?”

“I know, but I still appreciate it.” Logan yawned and Remus realized he looked tired, like the story had exhausted him.

“You wanna take a nap, teach?” The duke frowned and tilted his head.

“I… I have to finish up my work for the day…” The logical side moved his glasses and rubbed his eyes.

“...Lo?”

“Yes…?”

“You had a long day. Yes it was cuz I was being a bitch, but still, you need to get some sleep. Or, y’know, I’m gonna be even more of a bitch to deal with!” Threatening intrusive thoughts usually worked to get Janus to go to bed when he refused to sleep, so he figured he’d try the technique out on Logan.

The nerd however simply shook his head and laughed softly. “I don’t think so, Remus. I can… I can handle you…”

“You couldn’t today, could you?” Remus accidentally blurted out before immediately covering his mouth. “Oh my god I didn’t mean that-”

“It’s fine, Remus.” Logan stated, rubbing his eyes. “You’re right. I couldn’t handle you today. But I really do have to finish working on this-”

“I’ll stay with you if you go to bed!” The duke once again blurted out. “Cuz I don’t think you’d wanna stay alone with Orange so close by, y’know? I can stay and like, fend him off!”

Logic blinked at the proposition and squinted. “...you… want to stay with me? Why are you so adamant about me getting proper sleep?”

“Well one, cuz it’s already 10:30 at night, and two, cuz… you know, I don’t wanna end up actually hurting you!”

That further surprised Logan. “You don’t want to end up hurting me? I was under the impression that that’s something you enjoyed.”

“Well…” Remus was hesitant to explain - that tipped Logan into the fact that it was probably something more than that.

“What’s really going on Remus?” The stern side crossed his arms and stared at the Creativity.

“...okay, I don’t wanna be alone tonight!” The duke stomped his foot and crossed his arms, looking away. “My nightmares have been getting worse and Janus is hanging out with Roman and Patton today and Virgil hates my guts so I figured I’d at least try to hang out with the one side that for some reason still tolerates my dumb ass!” He sounded a little hurt, and added, “Or, one that wouldn’t immediately kick me out or hit me with a broom at the mere sight of me.”

Logan blinked. “Nightmares? You suffer from nightmares?”

Remus sighed and tugged on his sash. “Yeah, they suck ass - not in a fun way - but it’s part of the job description, y’know?”

“I don’t. But… does this mean you also suffer from intrusive thoughts?”

“...yeah… They’re kinda the reason I came in here in the first place...”

The logical side sighed. “Remus, you could have told me sooner you just needed company. I’m not the best at keeping up conversation but I could have at least put on a movie for you to refocus on something other than your intrusive thoughts.”

The duke blinked. “You… you’re not gonna just kick me out?”

“Why would I? You’re in need of assistance and I’m going to provide it for you.” Logan got up and rummaged through his DVD stack. “What would you like to watch?”

Remus stretched and looked over. “Whatever ya want, Sub-astute but Super Cute Teacher.”

Both sides flushed red when they realized what Remus had said.

“...interesting nickname, Remus.” Logan gulped, looking down.

“Yeah, uh…” The duke laughed weakly. “Well, I guess that cat’s out of the plastic bag it was choking in, huh?”

“What, that you think I’m cute?” The teacher looked over at the moustached Creativity. “You already called me sexy.”

“Well yeah, but that felt less… sappy, than calling you cute. And anyways, I meant that I was into you. Ooh, do you have Coraline?”

Logan stopped. “...repeat that, please?”

“The Coraline thing?-”

“The thing before the Coraline request.”

“Oh yeah, I like you.” Remus was right to the point, like always. “When I saw you take the shuriken to the face and just keep on moving right along… God, that was an image!” The duke gripped his thigh and shook his head, stopping himself from reaching down his pants.

“And you’re telling me this now… why?” The teacher was still reeling from the initial confession.

“We don’t get to talk one-on-one a lot! Plus, I don’t really like talking about cutesy emotions - that’s Roman’s department, y’know?”

Logan nodded slowly.

“Anyways, I changed my mind on the movie, can you put on Monster House?”

The spectacled side nodded and got the CD for Monster House, putting it in the DVD player and sitting next to the green-sashed side. He should have figured Remus wouldn’t be the type to linger on his feelings, and he was grateful for that at least. He couldn’t handle talking about feelings for long periods, especially not his own, but to have one of the most passionate sides just drop the fact that they liked him and immediately move on from that fact? It was odd. He almost couldn’t believe it.

Remus meanwhile was laying on the bed and watching the movie intently, smiling brightly at the screen before realizing that Logan had gotten into bed next to him. He turned over a little and growled “seductively” at the teacher, who laughed softly at the dark creativity. The sound caused butterflies to erupt in the duke’s stomach, flustering him a little. He smiled back at the logical side before returning his attention to the movie.

Logan meanwhile admired Remus, watching as he talked excitedly about the movie. He found it strangely endearing, how excitable Remus got when he was able to talk about things he found interesting. He didn’t have much time to think about it though, as he found himself falling asleep soon after the thought passed through his head. The astronerd yawned and passed out, sleeping peacefully next to the intrusive side.

The duke didn’t notice until he felt warm arms wrap around him. It startled the hell out of him, but he relaxed after he realized it was simply the sleeping teacher clinging to him. He carefully took Logan’s glasses off and turned off the TV before closing his eyes and falling asleep.

**The next morning**

Logan woke up first the following morning, still a little tired but feeling much better than he did the previous night. Vision blurry, the blind scholar felt around his nightstand for his glasses before realizing he was curled up into another person. He quickly got his specs on and saw the sleeping form of Remus below him, remembering that Remus had asked to stay with him the night before.

He looked at the sleeping creativity, who looked much more peaceful (and admittedly much cuter) asleep than he ever did awake. Still feeling somewhat tired, the Sherlock kinnie looked away and closed his eyes, feeling his face start to burn. When did he start thinking of Remus as “cute”?

Logan didn’t have too much time to dwell on it as he heard Remus start to stir. “Ugh… morning starshine…”

The teacher jumped and sighed. “Oh, good morning Remus. Did you sleep well?”

“Like an asphyxiated baby… you?” Remus groaned and stretched, waking up a bit more.

“I slept well too.” Logan fidgeted with his hands. The dark creativity, sensing the spectacled nerd’s unease, sat up and went to get off the bed. He was somewhat shocked to feel Logan tug on his sleeve. “Stay. I wanted to talk about what you said to me last night.”

“Oh… that.” Remus sighed and sat back on the bed. “What about it?”

“I… I’m not entirely sure what it feels like, but I think I reciprocate your feelings?”

Remus’s expression changed from slight concern to a poorly hidden malicious grin. “Oh? You’re into me?”

“I… think I am.” Logan nodded slightly.

The duke was silent for a moment before bursting into a grating cackle. “Oh- oh my god! Oh my god, you’re gonna kill me nerd!”

The scholarly side tensed up and blinked. “Excuse me?-”

“Are you fucking kidding me?! What kind of goddamn loser are you, to think I - or anyone really - would like you?! Especially after the bullshit you pulled yesterday, like Jesus Christ you’re pathetic!”

Logan’s heart sank as he heard Remus say this. “So you were, what, mocking me?!”

“No shit, Sherlock!” The intrusive side cackled once again before morphing into a huge octopus-human hybrid monster and grabbing the teacher. “You’re so fucking stupid! What on Earth made you think someone like me would like someone like you?! You’re lucky any of the others even talk to you anymore!”

Logan panicked as the tentacles pulled him up to Remus’s razor sharp teeth, about to chomp down on his head, when-

“Lo! Logan, wake up!” The logical side heard Remus’s voice coming from somewhere it should not have been, and Logan woke up with a start. Remus frowned as the teacher practically flung himself away from him.

“Get away from me!” Logan’s voice sounded frantic and panicked, like a cornered animal.

“Woah, woah!” The creativity held his hands up in surrender. “Teach, it’s me!”

The teacher took a few deep breaths and grounded himself, looking around. “...right, right… Apologies, Remus…”

“No problem, Nerdy Wolverine. Now, care to tell me what happened?”

Logan sighed and moved over to Remus, explaining to him his nightmare, tentatively telling the nightmare inducing side that he’d tried professing his mutual love to the other before getting horrendously mocked and belittled.

“Sounds a lot like my Nightmare Nico scenario. Has this happened before?” Remus had managed to ignore his thundering heartbeat and the cheering going on in his head - Logan likes me back!! He could focus on that later. Right now, Logan needed his help.

“No. I don’t normally dream, period, so to get a nightmare is extremely unprecedented.”

“Huh… so, I’m the reason you had the nightmare?”

“That would be the logical conclusion, though I had assumed that your effects would be… muffled, in my room?”

“Maybe it’s a mix of psychological and my effect on you guys? Like you were stressed or anxious about last night so my ability to give people nightmares got amplified?”

Logan nodded. “Interesting hypothesis, and it’s… definitely possible. I apologize for yelling at you earlier.”

Remus shrugged. “Eh, it’s okay, I’ve heard worse.”

The nerd nodded and the two were silent for a moment before Remus sighed and asked what they were both thinking. “So. I like you, and you… apparently like me back? What does that make us?”

Logan hesitated. “I… I’m not sure. What would you like us to be?”

The duke grinned. “How about boyfriends?”

The scholar smiled. “I think I’d like that.”

Remus beamed brighter and moved a bit before stopping. “Can I kiss you?”

Once again mildly surprised by the other’s bluntness, Logan nodded and scooted closer to the dark creativity. Remus quickly pulled the former into a kiss.

Logan was the first to pull away, flushed red and smiling to himself. “I think I could get used to this.”

Remus grinned and took the scholar’s hand. “Me too, Lo. Me too.”

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #intrulogical #ts logan #ts remus #tw innuendo mention #tw swearing #tw implied ns/fw (but nothing happens)#hurt comfort #long post #sanders sides fanfiction #lucifer writes

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homielander · 3 years

Note

Bestie I followed you for Outer Banks so that one for the ask game

you- you followed me for outer banks? i am so sorry

the first character i ever fell in love with: pretty sure i started liking all of the pogues at about the same time? but i believe it was pope since he was introduced as the Nerd and i was immediately in love

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not: i really liked ward in the beginning! it was fairly apparent from the get-go that he would be the villain (i think it clicked for me in his third scene or something) yet he was still charming enough for me to appreciate him. but it quickly became clear how awful he was to his children and that made me :/ i can excuse murder but i draw the line at child abuse

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not: can't think of any for this show

my ultimate favourite character™: jj maybank, light of my life and actual human disaster. but also pope, rafe, and kiara

prettiest character: i have thought ever since i first watched that both sarah and kiara look like the very two moxie girls dolls i had as a kid. they're so pretty

my most hated character: limbrey's brother. not relevant enough for me to remember his name. what an ass

my OTP: jjpope and jiara!

my NOTP: i've seen a lot of people ship rafe and kie and like, aside from the fact that they've had a total of three scenes together... he’s also attempted to murder her in 2/3 scenes? what is wrong w y'all why do you hate her so much

favourite episode: oh my gosh. 2.10 was fantastic! it was so fun!! i loved all the boat shenanigans, i loved seeing cleo again, i loved that rafe and john b scene where rafe came off as a slasher film villain, i loved poor wheezie just wanting to play a game with her sister, so on and so forth. and i also adore 1.06 (where they go to the spooky mansion to extract the gold). it's scarier than so many horror movies and i love the moment of celebration that the pogues have at the end. it gives me... i think they call it serotonin?

saddest death: peterkin! listen i rewatched s1 after the second season came out and tbh, she was a little bit corrupt. but ultimately she had the best interests of the kids at heart and i was so sad when she died.

favourite season: definitely liked season 1 the most. god i honestly miss early quarantine so bad and obx1 was a huge part of that for me.

least favourite season: season 2. it was still a fun watch, don't get me wrong, but i think at times it prioritized high-thrill action sequences over authentic character moments. i read something about how obx is very unique in that it managed to capture a large male audience (around 50% of its viewers), and maybe that's why? however, i think the first season managed to be lowkey but also high stakes and i do believe they'll try to replicate a similar vibe for the third season. i just miss my kids chilling at the beach ya know?

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate: can't think of anyone. the main cast is very likable

my 'you're a piece of trash, but you're still a fav' fav: RAFE CAMERON! it took me so long to accept that i liked him because i was so upset about peterkin, but they gave him so much depth in the second season and drew starkey delivered such an excellent performance. and when i rewatched the first season i ended up just feeling awful for him :( he needs jail but also therapy

my 'you're a beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this' fav: jj. kiara. pope. sarah. john b. they all deserve better i will protect them with my life

my 'this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it' ship: not going to lie i kind of fw rose and ward. it was just so unexpected to me that she ended up being more cold and calculating than ward himself and helped him rein it in when he was freaking out about another murder he'd committed. power couple that needs to stay far away from their three kids <3

my 'they're kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i'm not too invested' ship: jarah! to be honest their buildup was SO GOOD but everything after that first kiss fell flat for me which is disappointing. i feel like both of them lost a lot of personality after getting together. i still want to see them be happy and in love, but i would also really like for them to spend some time apart in season 3 (not necessarily broken up, just not on screen together)

#my one and only original obx post is also my most popular post #and it was so low effort too #which frankly is kind of hilarious and really speaks to how dead my main fandom is #but i appreciate you for continuing to follow me anon!! i still love my gold-hunting children i promise #even though i never post them #also thank you for the ask!!#outer banks #asks

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eleanorbloom · 4 years

Text

[OH] When You’re Ready (Bryce L. x f! MC x Ethan R.)

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything of the Open Heart World, it belongs to Pixelberry Studios. The name Eleanor Bloom and her story was created by me.

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x f! MC (Eleanor Bloom) x Ethan Ramsey.

Word Count: 2.7k

Warning: Some angst, adult language, some adult situations. This is definitely a NS-FW fanfiction so anyone under 18 years old MUST NOT READ IT.

Summary: Bryce has decided to let go of Eleanor because she’s in love with Ethan Ramsey. But a turn in her relationship with the attending might change Bryce's plans.

_____________

Chapter 1: Why.

So many nights trying to find someone new

They don’t mean nothing compared to you

He opened the door of his apartment, staggering. The celebration at Donahue’s had been wilder than he expected. Too many tequilas he couldn’t deny to Jackie. And too much anxiety to kill with alcohol.

Bryce sat on the sofa and sighed. He finally had a break to process what had happened today. Eleanor was safe. The Ethics Committee had decided to not suspend her, and Teresa Martínez’s family had withdrawn the lawsuit against Edenbrook, as they were grateful for what Eleanor did for their mother. In the end, all her effort and dedication had been rewarded.

He was happy about it, but more relieved that Eleanor wouldn’t leave. Bryce had been feeling increasingly afraid of that possibility, although he was trying to stay positive. The world wasn’t a fair place, the doctors didn’t have to understand the real reasons that led Eleanor to help Teresa Martínez. They would only see incompetence, malpractice, but never the honest desire that Mrs. Martínez enjoyed her last days traveling, just as she always dreamed since she was a child.

The very idea that things had been different caused him intense pain. Thinking of all the suffering that Eleanor could’ve to go through was almost unbearable. Also, the fact that she had to leave and he couldn’t see her anymore. But mainly it was her pain that affected him the most. She was one of the few people who deserve all the good in the world, for her kind heart, her dedication, her solidarity with her colleagues and patients. She didn’t deserve anything that was happening to her, but at least it was all was over now.

And now another thought came to his mind: Eleanor was with him right now. With Ethan Ramsey.

He wished with all his heart that whatever they had now would work for them, because she was truly interested in him, to his misfortune. But he respected her decision. From the day she told him that they couldn’t keep their casual hookups because she was feeling things for Ethan Ramsey, he respected her decision and wished her well. Every time Bryce saw her or saw them, he wished them all the best from the bottom of his heart, although they were apparently far from it.

Since Ramsey had left the hospital, he hadn’t reached out to her not a single time, not even to ask how she was or to support her in the difficult process she was living with the Ethics Committee. What asshole leaves Eleanor at a time like that, when she was supposed to be someone Ramsey cared about? When she heard from Eleanor that Ramsey had not contacted her, he felt uncontrollable anger but did his best to not say anything. Yes, he was suffering for his friend, Naveen Banerji, but Eleanor, with his life on the verge of collapse, still cared for Banerji and him, she hid the secret from her friends and colleagues, and then, when she found the cure for the old man, she used her time to cure him instead of preparing for the Ethics Hearing. But the Great Ethan Ramsey couldn’t give her a fucking hour just to support her because it was more important his suffering and sense of failure than what Eleanor was going through.

Eleanor had left him for a selfish, insufferable ass who was unable to use his position or his freedom and time to support her when she most needed it. Instead, Bryce had spent all the time he needed to recover from the poorly sleeping hours every surgical resident has since Medical School, acompannying and helping her to get the support of senior physicians from Edenbrook.

Well, yes, in the end, Ramsey did use his contacts to help her. But of moral support? No signs.

And now she was with him. He saw her approaching Ramsey when he entered Donahue’s, and how quickly they left.

Bryce couldn’t judge her; it was her feelings after all. But he sensed that the following events wouldn’t be good news. There was the rumor that Ethan Ramsey would return to his old position at Edenbrook, so he would continue that stormy dynamics of setting limits with Eleanor because he was her boss, but still breaking those limits at the slightest pressure. And he would continue to have Eleanor in limbo, waiting for him to make up his mind and choose her despite his fears. Waiting for him to decide to give her everything she deserved without conditions or hesitation. All that love, attention, and affection that he wanted to give her, and that somehow were still there, waiting for his chance.

He sighed again.

“Everything happens in time, Bryce. Don’t rush it, ” he said to himself before making his way to his bedroom to catch some sleep.

The next day, the good news were announced. Harper Emery left her position as Chief of Medicine and would return to her scrubs as Head of Neurosurgery. Naveen Banerji would take her position, so Ethan Ramsey was officially Director of Diagnostics. The last big news was that Eleanor had won the junior fellow competition and would be spending her second year of residency as a junior member of the Diagnostic Department.

He was so happy for her because it was something she really deserved. All the sweat, blood, and tears that she had put into that competition had found its reward. Besides, she deserved it for her human qualities. However, he also knew that the news implied a turn in her relationship with Ramsey. Aside from being her boss, now they would be colleagues, they would work much closer, and if Ethan already intended to put boundaries between them, her position in the Team would put much more difficulty on that. Bryce didn’t want to take this news as a light at the end of the tunnel, an opportunity after so much confusion, but he couldn’t lie to himself. Deep down he wanted this to complicate things, but on the other hand, he didn’t want to see Eleanor suffering again. He wasn’t a selfish bastard to want something like that.

Bryce saw the exchange of awkward glances between Ethan and Eleanor, while Naveen Banerji gave them a knowing smile. It was clear that the old man knew what was going on between the two and didn’t seem to care at all. Probably Naveen would be in the front line encouraging Ethan to stop being such an idiot and accept his feelings for Eleanor. Hell, if he himself didn’t have feelings for Eleanor, he would be by Banerji’s side, with popcorn cheering Ramsey to finally make up his mind and stop making Eleanor suffer. But of course, that was not the case. He was hopelessly in love with her.

Ethan looked away, embarrassed, and quickened his pace to catch up with Naveen. Eleanor turned to him. Her smile was so bright that the sun would be jealous of the light, warmth and beauty that emanated from her, happiness and pride swelling her heart.

Bryce opened his arms, inviting her for a hug.

“C’mere!”

Eleanor cheerfully received the hug, rejoicing in the warmth she only found in Bryce’s arms. From the first hug many months ago, both hiding in a supply closet, Eleanor had been conscious of the healing powers of his hugs. At that time, he consoled her of her first breakdown on her first day at Edenbrook. And now, that embrace was simply showing the pride and happiness Bryce was feeling for her achievement. He, who had always trusted her, even more than herself. He, who had always shown her the way to self-confidence and fight for what she believed in.

“You did it, Elle. You really did it”

“Yes! I am still in shock. Yesterday, this time, my life was still threatened, and look at me now! I won the competition. Well, not technically because it was finished when Ethan left … But I was chosen by Naveen Banerji himself, my mentor’s mentor”

“Yes, and the guy whose life you saved. It was the least he could do”.

“Well, I think so,” She shrugged, “But I’d like to think that I made it for all my merits in the competition.”

“Of course, Elle. You deserved this spot more than anyone, apart from being an excellent doctor, you are an extraordinary human being. And that’s what makes you better than anyone.”

“Aww Bryce,”Eleanor hugged him again, touched, “You’re always so flattering. I hope someday I know my qualities just as well as you know them.”

“Well, just keep hanging out with me and this self-assurance will infect you. But be careful, our friends could stop tolerating you as they do with me sometimes because my ego is too big.”

“Oh, I think I could reach a healthy balance between knowing my worth and not overstepping the limits of self-centeredness”

“Oh, are you implying I’m out of it?”—Bryce raised an eyebrow, serious.

“No, but you are always very close to the verge. Since you haven’t surpassed it yet, that’s why I still consider you my friend”

“Oh, you honor me,” He feigned a modest bow.

“Well, I should get back to my patients before the attendings chew me out for wasting my time with a scalpel jockey.”

“Oh my gosh, Eleanor, how can you be so cruel to someone who treats you well and fills your soul with self-confidence? I think the position went to your head”

“Who are you again? ”She asked, looking at him from head to toe.

Bryce grinned, “I’m going to become Harper Emery’s favorite and I’ll be the one to ask you who you are. We all know that surgery is more popular than internal medicine.”

They both laughed.

“You are such a child, Lahela. Never change.”

Eleanor raised the palm of her hand.

“I won’t, "Bryce replied as they high fived.

He saw her leaving to the Nurse's Station at a light pace. He couldn’t suppress a smile. He was extremely happy to see her succeed on her first day back at Edenbrook. She deserved that and more.

As he supposed, things between Eleanor and Ethan didn’t go well. From what he could observe and the things he heard from Eleanor’s drunken babbling, Ethan was trying to set serious boundaries between them, but not strong enough to prevent them from ending up kissing in his office to kill the tension or suppress the pain of not being able to be together as much as they wanted, simply because Ethan didn’t want it that way.

As the weeks went by, the situation became increasingly annoying to Bryce. Although he had made up his mind to forget Eleanor, he still unconsciously wanted her to realize that he was everything she needed and deserved. And he felt stupid waiting for her because it was clear that Eleanor had no eyes for anyone but Ethan, even if he kept ignoring her.

His annoyance reached such a point that one day he made the decision to avoid any contact with Eleanor and her friends as much as he could. He began to spend time with his surgical mates in his interest to meet new people and lose himself in the sea of parties and girls with whom to spend the night.

That night, he went to Donahue’s with the interns knowing that Eleanor and her friends had a night shift, so he wouldn’t have to meet her. He took a seat next to Rosa and Charles.

“You had a fight with your nerdy medical friends, or what?” Rosa asked when she saw him take a seat.

“No, why?”

“Because you have been spending a suspicious amount of time with us lately, when you used to be with them all the time.”

“I needed a change,” he shrugged nonchalantly,“Now that the competition’s over, there’s not so much gossip around them.”

“Sure, ”Rosa replied, not convinced.

A few shots later, several surgical residents were gathered. Including a third-year resident Bryce had always found attractive because she had an air of Shania Twain, and she was the first musical crush he had ever had.

Apparently, the reputation of being Bryce Lahela was also well received by older residents, because after two hours of drinks, Bryce was there, crossing the door to his apartment with his arms wrapped around Caroline’s waist, the attractive surgical resident who aspired to specialize in plastic surfery.

The woman was incredibly neat and was dressed impeccably. She had an exquisite aroma and a look so inquisitive that it seemed like she was looking through his skin. Although, she was actually scrutinizing his skin.

“I can’t believe it’s real,” she said, touching his cheeks with her fingertips.

“Me? Of course I am.”

Caroline rolled her eyes up, “No, your skin. I was always struck by how smooth it looked, like you were a doll. And I think you are.”

“I think this level of observation is more intimidating than having to pose for an hour naked in front of the whole hospital”

“I bet you wouldn’t mind spending your life walking naked with that body you have.”

“And I won’t in a couple of moments either.”

Caroline cut the distance between their bodies with one swift movement, kissing him. They continued their journey to the room, where the clothes went down the floor and the four walls muffled the moans and exclamations that came from their bodies. And so came the culmination of that long-awaited search for pleasure on the skin of another woman, with the intention of erasing the marks of someone from the past, believing that it would help him end his agony.

“Crap, Lahela. I always try to have low expectations, but you have proven me wrong.”

“Prove you wrong?”

“I thought you weren’t the wonder that people said, but you are.”

But no. Instead of ending with the ego energized by ending up banging with the woman he intended to, and even more flattered for his performance; Bryce ended with an existential void that decomposed him the entire night.

“And you are as attractive as I imagined you would be, since my first week as a surgical intern.”

Caroline didn’t know it, but those were the hollowest words Bryce had ever said. Without true charm, candor, interest, or desire. And he said them just to not be rude with her.

“Shut up, it sounds like you have a crush with your elementary school teacher, and we don’t have that much of an age difference”

Bryce simply gave her a humorless smile.

He woke up the next morning with the bed empty.

He sighed with relief. The truth was he had no intention of dealing with Caroline or faking a smile or joking about the night before, because he was in such a shitty mood, he hoped it would at least let him greeting the staff and patients before locking himself in his bad mood.

In his intention to try to be better about the situation with Eleanor, he was worse now.

Weeks later, he tried again, but with the same result. During the encounter, he couldn’t help but wish that she was the one in his arms, or that she was by his side after the act was over. Was it Caroline, or any other resident, or even a Tinder date, the result was the same. He still missed her, he still imagined her features and the beautiful expressions on her face when he had another woman in his bed.

Bryce finally understood that the lie of filling the void she had left with other women had only increased his pain, so he decided to not be with a woman again until he had begun to heal. And to do it, he had to learn to deal with Eleanor and her friends. He couldn’t use the technique that so much criticized Ethan Ramsey, so he stopped being so reluctant to the company of Eleanor and her roommates, and returned to spend time with them. It wouldn’t be easy, he was sure about that, but it had to be done.

_________

A/N:

Hello everyone!

So, here I am posting my first Choices Fanfic ever. I’ve been working on it for a while because I have the bad habit of publishing things and then don’t finish them.

This is a challenge for me because it’s written in English, which is not my mother language. I’m a Spanish speaker, so, I’ve been reading and polishing my vocabulary and looking for more informal expressions and slang to make this fanfiction less boring or formal. So I apologize in advance if my narration is weird, my grammatic is wrong or if I have misspelled words. I appreciate your patience and if you have any advice of how I can better my writing skills, it’s welcome!

I’m an old school fanfiction writer, which means my fanfic will be LARGE compared to most of the fanfics that are here. I really admire the people who write drabbles or one-shot fanfics without previous fanfics to referred or just with a prompt list! This will have at least 20 chapters (I’m still deciding if I merge some or not, so that’s why I don’t have an exact number) because it’s a slow burn story.

Oh, another thing. The title of the fic and all the chapters are song-inspired. The title’s fanfic and the plot are inspired by Shawn Mendes’s song. At the beginning of each chapter, you’ll find the lyrics that inspire the plot of each one.

Well, enough verbiage. Welcome to When You’re Ready. I hope you enjoyed it!

Let me know if you want me to add you to the tag list.

Eleanor.

____________

Chapter 2.

#bryce lahela #bryce lahela x mc #bryce #open heart #open heart choices #oh choices #choices stories you play #ethan ramsey #ethan x mc #choices fanfiction #open heart fanfiction #oh fanfic #bryce x mc #bryce x casey #bryce x f!mc #ethan x casey #ethan x you #ethan x f!mc #fanfic

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princesskokichi · 4 years

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ns / fw alphabet for gundham

tbh let me be absolutely real and say i wasn’t expecting anyone to request gundham for this but i’m glad you did because wow he is uh,, y ea h, ,, - mod kokichi

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

very gentle !!! needs to make sure you're cared for firstly, but also he's really tired so omg please let him know it's okay for him to rest too. it's times like that where he goes into overdrive

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

i feel like he really likes your thighs. i don't even know why. i have no reasoning behind this. i just.. i feel it,, i feel it in my heart that he's a thigh kind of guy

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

he refuses to cum inside unless you explicitly tell him too. it's just a preference of his. i can see him as the kind of guy who likes to see you painted, specifically on your thighs ( there it is again,, i don't know what's up with that i'm so sorry )

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

public sex. public sex is probably one of those secrets that he'll never admit to anyone but boy does he want it. he's the kind of guy who's very public about things, and enjoys the thrilling idea of public sex. will he ever do it ? that truly depends on if the Perfect situation arises

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

inexperienced as FUCK. he learns as he goes, and he's not perfect at everything immediately. but will he ever admit that to anyone ? absolutely not, what a ridiculous idea.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

probably with your ass in the air and your face down. i forgot what it's called, but i feel like he likes that position a lot. it's easier to grab your hair or slap your ass like that, and he has the perfect view of your body

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

he's,, exactly like he is outside of the bedroom. still has that specific gundham personality, but he speaks a little less and does a lot more moaning.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

he probably shaves it all. i just can't see him being the kind of guy who likes hair down there. it probably gets on his nerves no matter what he's doing.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

moderately romantic, this one is !! he loves holding onto you and making you feel special while fucking you senseless.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

gosh he is very loud !! and likes to see if he can edge himself a few times before he actually cums if he has enough time by himself

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

breathplay. don't argue with me i know i'm right. he likes to choke you. he probably also has a huge thing for being called master and honestly that's pretty hot of him

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

honestly if not the bed then the couch. he likes being in an open place where someone can hypothetically walk in, even though the front door will be locked

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

hearing you gasp ! not necessarily moan, but gasping hits different for him. it means you were caught off guard in a good way. he also likes when you're vocal about what you want in bed.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

he will not, and i repeat, will NOT slap you in the face. he will slap everywhere else, but he will not slap you in the face. at all. he's also probably against spitting in your face and being incredibly negative towards you. he would much rather call you his pet than a whore.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

he doesn't really have a preference, but i think if he had to choose, he prefers you going down on him.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

somewhere in between ?? it depends on his mood honestly, like most other things about sex. he's a bit of a surprise, that boy

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

i feel like quickie is pretty common around your place. just whenever he needs to release some tension without actually spending a lot of time during sex. if you're not down with them, though, then he can easily give them up. they're not mandatory for him.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

he likes to experiment, but he's always a little nervous about it !!! he takes risking things slowly and barely edges past his comfort zone. slowly, he'll get there though.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

i can see him going for a few rounds, but for casual everyday sex it's probably just one round of foreplay then one round of intercourse. on special occasions though, it can go all night

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

he probably doesn't !! he thinks about buying some, but just never gets around to doing so.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

it's more verbal teasing than it is literal teasing. like " do you want it ? " and stuff like that. usually if you beg right you get whatever you want

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

it depends on what's going on. if he's really into sex that day he doesn't care about how loud he is and he'll be LOUD loud, but for the most part he more or less just grunts / pants under his breath

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

nipples. his nipples are sensitive. but you didn't hear that from me.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

uhh this is a hard one. i can honestly see him being big but i can also see him being a pretty decent size. so i'm going to say in the middle between " tear you apart " and " alright this is perfect " so ?? ? around the " holy shit don't go too fast or i'll cum in two minutes. "

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

moderate, i feel like ??? like he doesn't always want it, but he doesn't hate the idea of having sex at least three times every week. whenever it crosses his mind that it's been awhile since you've had sex is when he'll initiate it, unless you do so first

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

immediately after aftercare, he's out. there's no waking him up unless you really want a grumbly upset boyfriend. he says he'll wait for you to go to sleep but he never makes it that far. but you don't mind, because that gives you some time to yourself.

#danganronpa #danganronpa 2 goodbye despair #goodbye despair #gundham tanaka #danganronpa gundham #ns / fw alphabet #danganronpa imagines #imagines #mod kokichi

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plague-doctor-jules · 5 years

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ANSWER THE FOLLOWING SO PEOPLE KNOW HOW SHIPS WORK ON YOUR BLOG

WHAT’S YOUR OTP FOR YOUR MUSE?

Not considering OC’s, my OTP is Lucio x Julian. Also, I like the Asra x Julian just for the angst, and also Valdemar x Julian for the creep factor. Generally the more complex and angsty dynamics between the 2 characters, the more chances for OTP with me.

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE? :

Julian will NOT do anything with minors, either romantic or sexual. That’s pretty much the only line that I am drawing. Other than that, he doesn’t have any issues with age.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING? :

Not really. However, there are certain dynamics I prefer. Do not expect Julian to fall for your muse immediately. If there is no chemistry, there is no shipping.

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY’RE CONSIDERED NS/FW?

Eh, NSFW is NSFW I guess, so whenever things start getting physical. In real life the muse is asexual, so they will only write NSFW when it comes to the ships with the best chemistry.

WHO ARE OTHER MUSES YOU SHIP YOUR MUSE WITH? :

Julian x Lucio (my favorite is @stiletto-cunt, for some reason their antics play SO well with my Julian

Julian x Julianne ( OC by @timmys-and-scribbles. Gosh I love her so much, for some reason she fits so well with my Julian. Also, for the love of all that’s good, please go check out their art, i’m a huge fan.)

Julian x Asra (I’m open to any Asra rpers out there, but I have only interacted with @ask-asra-the-magican. Lovely RPer, go check them out!)

Julian x Valdemar (I have rped with @plaguehostwiththemost in the early days of this blog, still miss rp’ing with them)

Julian x Valerius (specifically @ask-valerius. I don’t even know how it happened, but i’ve been converted into this ship and there’s no turning back)

Julian x Nadir (OC by @tenebras-autem-nadir. For now, this is more of a brotp. These two love teasing and playing pranks on each other, so if anything is to happen between them it is bound to be a slow burn)

Julian x Cyan (shameless self-promotion here. Cyan is @vesuvias-undertaker, a.k.a my MC. I doubt their relationship is physical -mostly because Cyan is agender (quite literally; they lack genitals and all secondary gender characteristics) so their relationship resembles the one between Julian and Nadir.)

ANY NOTPS?

Not that I can think of.

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU? :

No, especially if they are rping a canon character. For OCs though, it would be prefferable that the shipping doesn’t start right away, for the sake of chemistry development.

HOW OFTEN DO YOU LIKE TO SHIP? :

VERY often. Julian’s naturally very flirty, so it just happens.

ARE YOU MULTISHIP? :

YES. However, all ships with OCs happen in separate verses. I think the only ships that could happen in the same verse are with @stiletto-cunt, @ask-valerius and @tenebras-autem-nadir, since their characters like to interact with eachother regurarly.

ARE YOU SHIP-OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS? :

Oh, my shipping is just a little more than the healthy amount.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM? :

Jucio. It has all the ship dynamics that I like: power imbalance, multiple layers of angst, violent, obsessive and somewhat abusive, selfish love vs self-sacrificing love, a little fluff and a LOT of BDSM

Also, JuJu (Julian x Julianne) because this amazing person exists: @timmys-and-scribbles

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU? :

Send me asks!! Tag me in stuff!! Do not be shy!!!

TAGGED BY: @tranquilarya and @timmys-and-scribbles

TAGGING: @stiletto-cunt @ask-valerius @tenebras-autem-nadir @halfblooddragonghost @plaguehostwiththemost @mazelinka-daughter @unicornfatty @o-i-am-a-squid-o @small-apprentice @biakela @7oxic-7rash @ask-asra-the-magican

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alleinmeilen · 5 years

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SHIPPING INFO !!

Answer the following for your muse so people know how shipping works on your blog.

(I’m answering for Miles mostly of course but any of my muses are available for ships!!)

WHAT IS YOUR OTP FOR YOUR CHARACTER?: Oh gosh I like so many ships. I dunno if I can name just one??

WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO WRITE WHEN IT COMES TO SHIPPING?: I love fluff!! I also can do some angst, but hurt-comfort is a favorite for sure!

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?: I’d like the other muse to be at least 18 with the main verse of course! Miles is usually about 24 when I write him, so up to 30s or so is about my limit on the flip side. (I write Miles from anywhere between 9-35 depending on the verse though, so really it depends on which age he is in the thread!)

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?: Nahhh not really! So long as I think the chemistry could be there I’m usually down!

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED NS/FW?: Anywhere much more than kissing really. I’m very awkward y’all hhh

WHO ARE OTHER CHARACTERS YOU SHIP YOUR CHARACTER WITH?: Welll when it comes to Miles I like to keep pretty open! There are a lot of ships I haven’t considered, so really anything that makes both muses happy! (Currently my Miles is shipped with a few people and just to let you all know- I love EVERY mun I have a ship for Miles with! They’re all great and thanks to you all for putting up with my enthusiasm!)

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?: I’m usually pretty lax I think! So long as it makes sense I’ll usually try to go along with it! I do like to be asked/ask though, because I like to make sure I’m not misreading things X,D

HOW OFTEN DO YOU LIKE TO SHIP?: Anytime bby! I love ships!

ARE YOU SHIP OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?: I lean towards obsessed pffft fluff threads/revealing feelings threads make me so happy!

ARE YOU MULTISHIP?: All the way!!

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?: See question one- I love too many!

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?: Ask! I don’t mind at all, I promise. I love to try new ships!! I will absolutely gush about cuteness with you if you do want to try a ship!

Tagged by: @blindjustixe (hhh thanks!!)

Tagging: Steal it, y’all! Just tag me so I can see <3

#a cat's the only cat// ooc #tagged #mobile tag

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all-pacas · 2 years

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HUGE BIG SPOILER ESSAY UNDER THE CUT so i played more FW last night

plot happened

i also looked at some art

* KOTALLO’S PROSTHETIC ARM IS SO COOL * AND HE EVEN PAINTED IT * ugh okay i actually like that he has accepted the loss of his arm in such a pragmatic way. he’ll use the prosthetic when he needs it, but he’s fine the rest of the time as he is. so good * HAHAHAHA TILDA LITERALLY HAS THE NIGHT WATCH * i was joking w a friend that she would have had it on her living room wall because it was the first massive-sized dutch painting i could think of but NO SHE LITERALLY HAS IT * tilda seems slimy but i can’t decide if it’s because she’s an immortal capitalist or actually evil * like she seems fairly sincere but i get the feeling she’s more … idk, she wants the art of the world more than to save them * i loved her art history lessons lmao * whoever wrote that had some fun with painting symbolism 101 * i also REFUSE to believe varl is dead unless we SEE HIS DEAD BODY. refuuuuuuuuuse * anyway i was right and i love this sylens thing — he really did think the zeniths were good guys when he told aloy to trust them, and as soon as he realized he was wrong he’s been working to take them down. probably wants apollo of course, but he’s actually doing the right thing — just in his usual insane ends justify the means way — and naturally he and aloy could be great allies if they didn’t HATE one another so fucking much lmao * now that they’re talking about aloy’s focus i’m reminded that during that HADES lab scene, erik had a conversation with SOMEONE but we didn’t hear who. was it tilda?? and the game didn’t want us to know by letting us hear her voice???? IS SHE THE ONE IN CHARGE * tilda is calling elisabet “lis” ohohoho * tilda was a spy yeah i don’t trust her * and now tilda is trying to flatter aloy by saying she’s elisabet but better i don’t trust herrrrrrrrr that’s such obviously calculated flattery * gosh her manufactured meet cute with elisabet, too, like it’s a cute story but also she planned and scripted it and makes it into this charming encounter i don’t know if she was sincere and really did want to be friends with elisabet and beta and even aloy, but i do believe — she cut off beta not out of a real need for her safety, but because beta got attached? maybe? it’s a very self-first, immortal capitalist way of dealing with people. * OH GOOD aloy doesn’t trust tilda either * awwww betaaaaaaaaaa * THAT IS BETWEEN ME AND MY SISTER * god varl better be alive and in the base when aloy shows up * FUCK * i am fucking crying varl was my faovirte part of this game * ughhh * and zo is pregnant and * aloy * UGHHHH * okay so i cried a Lot and went to bed and am still crying * thinking about sona, who has lost both her kids in two years and doesn’t even know, no one is rushing to tell her, she failed at the one thing a nora is supposed to succeed at and her son’s friends don’t even care to tell her * thinking about vala putting flowers on her spear and sona hating them, and so zo finding those flowers for varl, to grow at his grave * thinking about how varl was aloy’s best friend and most trusted friend and partner, the first person she met after leaving the embrace, who the first game showed us she always clicked with, who was willing to follow her to meridian and then follow her for months. he brought zo into the group, he brought erend, he reached out to beta and made her into a friend. he called aloy out and brought up rost because she knew she needed to, he was the fucking HEART of team base, aloy’s second. * he was the one who kept going on missions with aloy, not sidequests. the tutorial. the cauldron. the beta base. aloy didn’t even ask him if he would join her for the gemini mission, she just took it for granted that he’d be with her, because he was. * his focus is in her room and he went from a religious nora to someone who just wanted to see the stars and space and fly, and wanted to return to the sacred lands and teach the nora everything he’d learned * and he died. pointlessly. he died trying to defend aloy and beta, he died fighting, but he failed. he didn’t hurt erik, he didn’t save his friends or GAIA. and then they left his body there and zo and the others found him like that, alone and dead, and it’s fucking devastating * on the one hand, he died doing what he would have wanted: trying to help aloy, helping aloy, but it’s devastating because of how pointless it was * not in the way where i’m mad they fridged ersa because it had no purpose or meaning or point, just killed her after a long snipe hunt where no she’s alive, no just kidding, no she’s alive and dead and it makes no difference. i’m fucking devastated about varl and i want him to be alive because i love varl and aloy and zo and erend love varl and miss him, but also WOW do i want some space capitalists fucking DEAD now. like it’s so devastating because it was so well done. i hate it. i’m so sad. * i had been thinking about the pacing of this game. it’s missing a lot of the drive of the first one: there’s not much of a mystery, it’s much more of a “gather the mcguffins” plot. obviously the zeniths are bad and we’ll confront them, but there didn’t seem to be much urgency aside from the game telling us we’d get to it. but NOW there’s urgency, not because the situation has really changed but because _varl is dead_. they did that. they killed him for no reason and with no need. he had friends and family and his girlfriend is fucking PREGNANT and he had a purpose and dreams both silly (going to space!) and concrete (teaching the nora!), and now he’s dead and if you have aloy sit at his grave she’s just silent. no monologues, no story recaps. she just sits there quietly and the button prompt is farewell and i am fucking. crying. over. varl.

#FORBIDDEN WEST SPOILERS

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kiwii-berry · 2 years

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HI HELLO THIS IS AN ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!1!

FIRST OF ALL, if someone can teach me how to make Lil skele babies out of clay that would be great

Second of all, I'd like to say that like

AAAH y'all are so cool I can't contain myself

Anywgsjs,,

This is a rant of how my experience has been with Tumblr so far /pos

Gosh Tumblr is such a form of seratonin to me everyone here is so nice and I know this place used to be full of ns/fw I think but since the apple thing people have been clean (I'm on android and won't do that stuff anyways, really) so this place is so much more wholesome and less scary and intimidating than twitter

Besides the fact that Twitter is literally full of like (I'm sorry raccoons I love you and this is definitely hurting your name but) Twitter is like the raccoon version of Tumblr if Tumblr was a cat

Just saying I don't like how it's basically the negativity of a news station forced into a social media and if it had nsfw and bullying teenagers and controversial stuff

Anyways back to umblr,,

Everyone I've followed here has been so sweet and to the like, two people who like my art here that's more than I can say for the one person on Twitter who likes my stuff that I've gained over like a year

And Everytime I come on here it's just like,, wholesome content,, I love it so much- I mean I'm sure this place has it's negatives and drama somewhere but eeh

Ok thank you for coming to my Ted talk I've been having a lot of negative things happening lately and I needed a way to express how much serotonin this place gives me

This is a safe space for me, even more than amino, which I've been on for over 5 years

Anwys I need to get back to making content for you ppl

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rwt-mystic-corner · 5 years

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I’m sick from equal parts stomach bug and emet*phobia (basically: Phobia of Exactly what the Stomach Bug Does to you, for days on end... i’m finishing up day 6 at this point)... Figured, while I’m resting I’d pass some time filling one of these out.

Questions from here: https://prettyalice13.tumblr.com/post/125172483728/witchcraft-asks-1-105

1. Are you solitary or in a coven? Solitary. I've tried to find a coven, but Wicca has a pretty firm grasp on witchcraft in the area. (They even opened a "Witchcraft Museum" about 20 minutes away, and it's literally all entirely dedicated to Gardenian Wicca. I refuse to go in because I haven't figured out how to tactfully point out just how badly they're misinforming everyone...)

2. Do you consider yourself Wiccan, Pagan, witch, or other? Pagan and a witch!~ Though the term I like most is "mystic", because it's the Forces of the Universe that I play with, more than personal forces or tools. (I did start out as a Wiccan 12 years ago, though.)

3. What is your zodiac sign? Which zodiac? Chinese: Water Rooster. (And I absolutely claim that.) Greek: Aries Sun, Scorpio Ascendant, Cancer Moon.

4. Do you have a Patron God/dess? I have two, actually! Mielikki, and, well... the other one is one I'd rather keep under wraps. It involves pop culture paganism, astral travel, and something kind of, vaguely?, fiction-kin adjacent, but not like My ID, so even that technically isn't it? It's wild. Ask off anon if you'd like to talk about it, we prefer that she's only discussed in private.

5. Do you work with a Pantheon? No, the deities that have spoken to me come from all sorts of pantheons.

6. Do you use tarot, palmistry, or any other kind of divination? Rarely, anymore. I mostly go in with meditation (I think the term for it nowadays is "Accessing the Akashic Record"?), though I used to use tea leaves, scrying into teacups and rivers, and asked for Clues from the Universe when I'm out and about, and I read signs from whatever's around me. I had a serious knack for tarot when I was using it, though.

7. What are some of your favorite herbs to use in your practice? (if any) Oh, definitely lemon balm! I love that little mint. I've had it growing in my room twice. The first time, the chinchillas got to it, and for some reason it never grew back? The second time, it got hit with aerial blight when all the rest of the houseplants did. :c That little plant had hung in a lot longer than the others, but eventually it succumbed, and no amount of coaxing would bring it back.

8. How would you define your craft? "Shadow witchcraft", because I do a lot of the "confronting personal stuff that's really hard but necessary to grow", AND the "working with energies of the shadows, feeling safer in the dark, and using darkness as an energy source to recuperate, divine, and move energies for spells".

9. Do you curse? If not, do you accept others who do? Yes (but I've only actually done it once), and I accept others who do, yes. (I do not, however, accept those who only do it for selfish, malicious reasons. I recognize that there's a gray area, and I won't bother you for that, because it's your craft to do whatever you want with, not mine to judge. But if you're cursing just for the hell of it, I don't want you anywhere near me. Also, any kind of curse that could be considered Hate Speech or Incitement gets you blacklisted and blocked in my book.)

10. How long have you been practicing? Ooh, this one's complicated. See, consciously, intentionally, while calling it "energy work" or "witchcraft"? Since I was 14, so that's 12 years. But well before then, I was sensing energies, from plants and animals, I was acutely aware of others' emotions, sometimes even accidentally manipulating them. For as long as I can remember, I would lean against trees and "listen" to them, or wonder how I knew what it felt like to have your heart broken, when I'd never even been in a relationship? (Because I felt it from others!) So, I guess, I've been "practicing" without knowing there was a word for anything I did my whole life.

11. Do you currently or have you ever had any familiars? Not many, considering the sheer numbers of pets I've had, but: ~ I had a ring-necked dove once, who would come sit with me, in the dark attic half of my room, when I was meditating. Sometimes he'd drop in during a ritual, and join me in the circle until it was complete, and then he'd leave the room. He brought me feathers. Once, when his foot was injured, he stood absolutely still to let me perform a healing session on it for a week or two until it healed, and if you know doves, you know it's very rare for them to hold still for ten or fifteen minutes at a time. ~ I'm convinced my chinchilla Dusty is becoming a familiar. I don't practice nearly as often as I used to, but he always goes very still, and seems to be watching over me, whenever I'm meditating or energy-working. He always knows when I'm upset, and if I go near the cage when I'm depressed or in pain or struggling with chronic health issues, he'll sit at the door until I open it, and then he'll put his paws on me in this very specific way, and he just sits there for a minute. And when he finally goes to scamper off, I feel much more calm and able to cope with things.

12. Do you believe in Karma or Reincarnation? With all the memories I've had? There's no way I CAN'T believe in reincarnation. (As for Karma, I do believe there's a sense of balance the universe must keep, but I don't believe reincarnation is, at least not entirely, dictated by your other lives. There are too many errant patterns in the people I know to believe that.)

13. Do you have a magical name? Yes, a very personal one. "RWT" is the abbreviation, hence my URL.

14. Are you “out of the broom closet”? For most people, yes. I try to remain open and honest whenever the subject comes up, mostly due to a lack of fear. So what if people disapprove? It's my practice, not theirs. I don't go around totally advertising it to everyone I meet, but all of my friends and the closest members of my family know I practice.

15. What was the last spell you performed? Oh gosh, probably a healing to try soothing my stomach cramps? It worked... temporarily.

16. Would you consider yourself knowledgeable? More in a "jack of all trades" way, but yes.

17. Do you write your own spells? I rarely "write" them; to be honest I've always just kind of... improvised. I performed a couple rituals guided by Scott Cunningham's suggestions, but after that I was building my own meditations and doing whatever felt Right and Useful with the energies.

18. Do you have a book of shadows? If so, how is it written and/or set up? Closest thing I have is a "mirror book". I don't have the attention span to Compile Everything I know, I kinda just... act like a walking healing / empathic / meditation / astral projection / herbal medicine encyclopedia. 8F

19. Do you worship nature? What kind of pagan would I be if I didn't? "Nature" is such a broad term, but for me it involves wonderment and awe at the Earthly creations, receiving energies from celestial bodies, delighting in my connection to all forms of life, and even animism (though that one's more of a Venn Diagram with nature, where there just so happens to be some overlap.)

20. What is your favorite gemstone? Lapis lazuli! (It was my favorite long before SU personified it into such a relatable character. ;P) Sodalite is a close second, I really love larimar (but gosh it's expensive), obsidian has been the best grounding stone for me since I was a baby bat, it's not technically a gem but still a favorite-- actually, I don't think any of these are, oops. My favorite Actual Gem is probably Aquamarine. (Just so happens to be my birthstone.)

21. Do you use feathers, claws, fur, pelt, skeletons/bones, or any other animal body part for magical work? I use a lot of feathers (legally obtained from my own birds, don't worry-- being an ex-wildlife rehabilitator, I learned ALL about the MBTA), though I've collected fur from other pets just in case.

22. Do you have an altar? I used to. Now I kind of just... have a shelf, and a portable mental altar. Mielikki prefers to meet in a forest, and my other Goddess basically requires astral projection to get ahold of.

23. What is your preferred element? Water, far and away.

24. Do you consider yourself an Alchemist? No, since alchemy is the transformation of materials using tools, and the only "transformation" I get involved with is the transformation of negative energy or injuries into a production or "packet" of positive energy in healing.

25. Are you any other type of magical practitioner besides a witch? ....I don't know any other terms, what else would you call a magical practitioner? Energy worker, perhaps? Astral traveler? Does empathy count as magic (since, though I never use it on people, I DO have the ability to, basically magically, change someone's mood?)

26. What got you interested in witchcraft? I've been interested in it my whole life. No matter what kind of fantasy I was reading, I'd compare the kind of magic THEY do to the kind of magic I'D like to do. I just didn't know how to make it a part of my practical life back then.

27. Have you ever performed a spell or ritual with the company of anyone who was not a witch? ...Well there was ONE time... but it's a little ns//fw.

28. Have you ever used ouija? Multiple times. Always warding carefully, before and after, mostly at the behest of others.

29. Do you consider yourself a psychic? Yes. Well I'm an empath and I have a very strong sense of precognitive intuition, and I've interacted with spirits, so of course I do.

30. Do you have a spirit guide? If so, what is it? I do. It's... more of a "who" than a "what". But she's another one I'd rather discuss in private. (Equal parts my own inability to explain it, exactly, and her comfort.)

31. What is something you wish someone had told you when you first started? Don't be afraid of your own power.

32. Do you celebrate the Sabbats? If so which one is your favorite? Oh, Samhain, far and away with certainty! Making peace with the past, and letting it guide your future, has always been a huge theme in my life. Sensing the different kinds of spirits that wander around, being more able to detect the subtler energy layers of the world, the minimizing of energies that overwhelm me at times, while the quieter and gentler energies abound... And I've always had such wonderful meditations on Samhain, whether it was in astral travel, spirit work, or prayer.

33. Would you ever teach witchcraft to your children? I wouldn't force them to learn, but if they asked, I would answer. (I'm not very sure that I want kids at all, though...)

34. Do you meditate? It's essential to me. Used to do it every day. Now I kind of use it as an as-needed grounding tool, or to reach out to That Goddess who's Harder to Get Ahold Of.

35. What is your favorite season? Winter. ~<3 I pass out in 75F, I'm that bad with the heat. Winter, when it's below freezing every day? Winter, the season when the whole world goes just a little bit quieter? When everything outside either leaves or hibernates, and everyone inside does their best to lift their own spirits? It's the time of the year I'm most comfortable.

36. What is your favorite type of magick to perform? Astral projection, with empathic healing as a close second.

37. How do you incorporate your spirituality into your daily life? My (secret?) goddess's teachings help guide my decisions, big and small. My connection to others, human and animal and spirit alike, are highlighted by my empathy. Whenever I eat or drink, I can feel the energies of whatever touches my tongue, it's clairgustance, I've been told. I don't so much actively incorporate it, as passively revel in it.

38. What is your favorite witchy movie? Ooh, that's a hard one. Does The Crow count? I also liked The Covenant. And there's this heart-wrenching very-obscure movie called Powder, that deals with psychism and energy and psychic-level empathy as it relates to an outcasted anomaly. And THEN there's Justice League Dark, which nailed John Constantine's character far better than the Keanu Reeves movie and explored almost-- almost-- every single one of my favorite mystical heroes. i'll probably ALWAYS be saying Raven should join the JLD at some point, but we'll see if that ever happens.

39. What is your favorite witchy book, both fiction and non-fiction. Why? ~ Well fiction is, obviously, gestures vaguely at my avatar, practically anything with Raven in it. The comic series New Teen Titans was phenomenal, the Raven miniseries from 2008 was a story about empathy and compassion and struggling with these through high school, so of course I loved it, and the most recent Raven miniseries (2018 I believe?) harkened back to another comic series I absolutely LOVED, the 80's Night Force. (Again: featuring Mystical Heroes! That is EXACTLY my jam!) The Sandman series by Neil Gaiman incorporated a lot of metaphysical elements, so I'll count that one too. And for propriety, I suppose I'd better include a novel: The Winter Oak, by James A. Hetley. I did absolutely LOVE Harry Potter as a kid, and the entire Sevenwaters series by Juliet Mariller is probably my favorite novel series. ~As far as nonfiction, though? Honestly, don't laugh, but there's this book published by Llewellyn (I know, I know) called The Shadow Magick Compendium, by Raven Digitalis. His first book Goth Craft really resonated with me (a practicing ~"casual RomantiGoth"~) in middle school, and through all of high school and adulthood, I had a lot of personal struggles that shadow magic helped me pull through. Reading Shadow Magick helped me find the strength to admit that yes, I had flaws, fears, horrors, imperfections, but it also helped me find strength in who I am, flaws and all. I have a habit of being pretty divorced from my emotions, but that book... moved me to tears, more than once.

40. What is the first spell you ever preformed? Successful or not. That's... really freaking hard to trace back. I was sending out wishes to the world and sincerely expecting it to Change Things from a very, very young age. At age 14, I was performing energy exchanges / communions maybe? with plants in our backyard. My first intentional fully-craft-based Spell had to have been at 14, and I think it was a divination? I got the answer I needed, though I'd need to dig out my first mirrorbook to see what it was actually about. It must have been the answer I needed though, because I kept divining for years.

41. What’s the craziest witchcraft-related thing that’s happened to you? Well I didn't ASK for that blizzard thunderstorm, though that was pretty crazy! (Ohio weather, everyone. It was the most powerful weather I’ve ever lived through!) A lot of crazy things have happened to me though. The time I accidentally influenced the emotions of everyone in a ten-foot radius at school (before I even knew I could do that). The time I knew my doves needed me, and came to find that the cat was in the room chasing them around. The time I was helping give a back-massage to a very firm and outspoken nonbeliever in magic, bolstering it with healing/soothing magic, and he said "Where [RWT] is touching, it feels very warm, and it feels very good". The way that, as a teen, whenever I would get too emotional, and specifically when I was emotional, I'd static-zap anything I touched, and the way that, as a child, I could touch magnet-operated toys and they'd activate. The revelation of who my spirit guide is. My energies have always been an undeniably strong magic ride, guys.

42. What is your favourite type of candle to use? Well I do keep birds, and candles are very terribly dangerous for them! So I haven't used a candle in YEARS, unless I was outside or in another room (like the bathroom-- candles and baths are lovely together). I really love using beeswax candles, especially if I can find them made by a local apiary. Candles with an earthy, herbal, floral, or delicate scent are very nice too!-- as long as it's not overpowering.

43. What is your favorite witchy tool? My mind. If I have to choose a physical one, though, probably stones?

44. Do you or have you ever made your own witchy tools? Yep! I've wildcrafted and dried my own herbs, cooked my own foods for post-ritual recovery, and I guess it counts if I've set up crystal grids of my own design?

45. Have you ever worked with any magical creatures such as the fea or spirits? I met a animal-spirit guide the very first time I meditated, at least with Magical Intentions! I do a lot more encountering various spirits than "working with" them, meeting them and sometimes learning a bit before thanking them and leaving.

46. Do you practice color magic? Not really? I'm not a very visual person. Though I do perceive colors from certain spirits /places /people, and sometimes associate those colors with those things, I don't intentionally focus on the color as the backbone of the spell.

47. Do you or have you ever had a witchy teacher or mentor of any kind? Oh, absolutely. My spirit guide took it upon herself to help me work with my abilities, and every now and again my goddess will actually guide me in practice, if it's desperately needed. As far as humans go: I did, sort of, once, for a brief time. But he lived an hour and a half away, so we could really only meet on certain weekends, and then we sort of... lost touch.

48. What is your preferred way of shopping for witchcraft supplies? In person! I have to touch it, hold it, and feel out its energy myself before I take it home.

49. Do you believe in predestination or fate? I believe the universe only steps in when it Absolutely Must, and that there are certain... guideposts? that will be pre-ordained in your life, but how you deal with it and where it takes you from there is entirely up to you.

50. What do you do to reconnect when you are feeling out of touch with your practice? My goddess, my spirit guide, an assortment of crystals/stones, whatever I feel I need most-- but most importantly, I use them to connect with MYSELF.

51. Have you ever had any supernatural experiences? Oh, SO many. I've visited so many astral worlds, I've lost count. I've encountered (and... basically "consumed"?) parasitic entities at the park. I've viscerally FELT the energies of what I work. Empathy is a daily occurrence for me. The reason I went vegetarian is the vividness of what I'd sense from what I was eating. I've sent healing to people and watched the spring come back in their step, healed lethargic puppies and watched them go from dragging around to bounding away happily, taken terrified birds at a pet store and soothed them until they relax in my hands. It's an integral part of my life at this point.

52. What is your biggest witchy pet peeve? People telling others that the way they practice their craft is wrong, just because they don't believe, or they follow a different set of rules, or morality? Like, that’s all subjective. (Except, like I said before, where hate speech and incitement are concerned. Nobody has the right to harm others just because of the color of their skin, their gender, their religion, and such.)

53. Do you like incense? If so what’s your favorite scent? Oh sweet stars, I absolutely love incense. I found it at a local metaphysical shop that closed, and the last time I found it was when I visited New England for a high school field trip, but it's called "Spiritual Guide" by Padmini, and it smells JUST sweet and JUST soft and JUST earthy enough, with JUST the right balance of mid- and high notes that it simultaneously grounds me and lifts my spirit to the higher realms. Incense has so many applications and such a variety, I love picking and choosing which one to use (away from the birds, of course). I even use (unlit) incense as air fresheners in front of the air conditioner.

54. Do you keep a dream journal of any kind? Sort of. When my dreams are worth remembering, I used to write them down in my mirrorbook, but now I log them on my personal blog. 8P

55. What has been your biggest witchcraft disaster? ...Not knowing the way my spells affected others in the beginning. I'd rather not talk about that.

56. What has been your biggest witchcraft success? Learning to control it? Learning how to turn that terrifying power into something beautiful and healing? Taking ownership of MY power, and deciding how I WANTED to use it? Finding beneficial outlets for it?

57. What in your practice do you do that you may feel silly or embarrassed about? Mmmmh, worshipping the Other Goddess that I do, and who my spirit guide is. It's very complicated, and even I don't understand how it works, so I couldn't possibly explain it to people... but that's certainly who they are, and it's just... I know there are Many People who would be hostile to the idea of their existence.

58. Do you believe that you can be an atheist, Christian, Muslim or some other faith and still be a witch too? Absolutely! Your god can bestow gifts unto you, even gifts of personal power. First of all, God giving people the power to perform miracles in his name is all over the Old Testament. Secondly: King James added in lines of the bible that weren't there originally, so fearing witches isn't actually in God's Instructions to Mankind. Third of all, mind that I'm saying this as an ex-Christian, if the Abrahamic God gives you a GIFT, who are you to ignore it or suppress it? Are you going to say God made a mistake in giving this power to an individual of his creation? All that aside: Witchcraft doesn’t have to be associated with any gods at all!

59. Do you ever feel insecure, unsure or even scared of spell work? Not spell work itself. Just... the way things can go awry if I'm not very, very careful.

60. Do you ever hold yourself to a standard in your witchcraft that you feel you may never obtain? Nah, honestly I'm glad to do what I can do, and there's really no way to quantify the "success" of magic to me.

61. What is something witch related that you want right now? Rocks! I keep seeing these onyx crow/raven carvings, and gosh would I absolutely LOVE one, but alas: Finances. Rainbow fluorite! Amber! Ametrine! Azurite! So many stones I really feel drawn to, but just haven’t encountered at a small enough price tag.

62. What is your rune of choice? ...Iiiii actually don't use Futhark or Ogham runes, and the ones I do use are more... geometric? Specific? There's one I keep drawing, especially when I need to find peace or get in touch with my goddess, but it's for Personal Use Only. If I had to pick one from an established system though, it'd be Futhark "Isa".

63. What is your tarot card of choice? High Priestess.

64. Do you use essential oils? If so what is your favorite? Oh yes (but again, never around the pets). My favorites are pine, lavender, jasmine, and sandalwood. I once found this blend called MotionEaze or something, for motion sickness. Which didn't help much for that (my stomach is really touch and stubborn), but it DID help immensely with headaches, and keeping calm.

65. Have you ever taken any kind of witchcraft or pagan courses? I wanted to go to Sacred Mists college for awhile! But I don't have the money for that, even at $200/class, and right now it's on my dreambuilding list. I've always followed my books and my heart, and thus far it hasn't led me astray.

66. Do you wear pagan jewelry in public? Oh yeah. I used to wear either a pentacle necklace (usually under my shirt) or pentacle earrings (when I felt especially vulnerable) every day to high school. I even wore the necklace to my AP exams-- which were taken in a Catholic private school, so that was interesting. (I kept it hidden carefully the whole time. But one of the priests I encountered still watched me Uncomfortably Closely for the whole three minutes I was in that hall... I always wondered if he Suspected Anything.)

67. Have you ever been discriminated against because of your faith or being a witch? Well no, but I don't exactly make it public knowledge. I did wear a cloak as a jacket for several years (the only reason I don't anymore is that, A, it's tattered and badly needs mended, and B, I'm trying to get a Fancy Professional^tm Job). So of course I got a lot of questions like "Are you a witch?" "Are you a Wiccan?" And I got attempted evangelism just for wearing the cloak, but that was usually it. I tend to just say "I don't go to church because I work weekends", and when people ask what my religion is, I usually say "I'm nondenominational".

68. Do you read or subscribe to any pagan magazines? No, but one of my pictures was published in a pagan magazine! (I'd love to, but I don't think there are any local publications, and also those Cost Money. So... again, it's on the dreambuilding list.)

69. Do you think it’s important to know the history of paganism and witchcraft? Oh, absolutely. Mostly because of all the misinformation that's out there; you have to shield your mind against lies, and the best way to do that is to know the truth. It's also essential to respect where practices come from, because that's the only way to know if it's a closed practice, or even if it's the kind of practice you want to engage in. (Like if you're looking to divine truth without any bias or bells, the last place you should probably look is a sensationalizing LaVeyan Satanism spell...)

70. What are your favorite things about being a witch? It gives this strange, powerful aspect of myself a safe outlet.

71. What are your least favorite things about being a witch? That strange, powerful aspect can be downright terrifying sometimes.

72. Do you listen to any pagan music? If so who is your favorite singer/band? Not exclusively "pagan", but I've used Elvenpath by Nightwish to worship Mielikki, Mother Earth by Within Temptation to worship nature, and I believe Disturbed has a Wiccan member, and I've always loved their music.

73. Do you celebrate the Esbbats? If so, how? I used to! Nowadays I kind of just, bask in the glow of the moon through an open window, and take in the energy when I have the time, or when I need it. (But that's not even exclusive to Esbats, just... whenever I feel like I can use a little bit of a lunar touch in my life.)

74. Do you ever work skyclad? I sleep skyclad, so while the answer is Yes, Occasionally, that's not exclusive to my working.

75. Do you think witchcraft has improved your life? If so, how? Oh gods, YES, in SO many ways! It helped me understand, shape, and take control of a big part of my daily experience. It helped me make sense of this entire world of experience that nothing before had ever explained. It gave me a safe outlet for the energies blazing through me, and of course that outlet gave me a sense of fulfillment through healing and protecting myself AND those I love.

76. Where do you draw inspiration from for your practice? Honestly... anything I encounter that inspires me. Even mundane, non-witchy things-- a puppy's energy at work! The flight of my doves through the room! The wind whispering promises through the trees! The resilience of trodden grass, the gentle tug of a forest brook, the gradual yet ready shift in the trees every autumn. Things people say. Quotes that spark a sense of Purpose within me. And of course, my guides have given me a lot of inspiration, too.

77. Do you believe in ‘fantasy’ creatures? (Unicorns, fairies, elves, gnomes, ghosts, etc) Some, yes (ghosts for sure), others I think may be real things taken to a creative extreme, and other still, I believe, if they're not on Earth, not on THIS Earth, they probably exist purely through the creation of thoughtforms by now.

78. What’s your favorite sigil/symbol? That personal one I mentioned awhile ago? It's an intricate symbol with many layers, large and small components, straight and round, extremely powerful as a protective symbol, and it always makes me feel so peaceful, free, alive and well. It connects me with my goddess, my purpose, my sense of self amongst the world, and yet helps me block out those things in the world that destroy those things.

79. Do you use blood magick in your practice? Why or why not? Not really? I've just never needed to. I can trace my energies' destination by either empathy or intuition, I don't need blood to personalize, attach, or anchor anything.

80. Could you ever be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t support your practice? Well, I'm already in a very close and trusting familiar relationship with my mother like that. I'm okay with it, as long as they respect my boundaries about what I don't want to be told, how I don't want to be talked to, and that they respect that my experience is my own to name, not theirs.

81. In what area or subject would you most like your craft to grow? Ooh, uhhm... My ability to heal myself? It's this very bittersweet kind of irony that I can provide almost instant relief to others so EASILY, but when it comes to soothing my stomach or bolstering my own energy levels, I really just can't seem to do it for some reason.

82. What’s your favorite candle scent? Do you use it in your practice? Ooh, well there's this big candle warehouse in Medina, Ohio called "Root" that has SO MANY lovely scents! Their candles burn clean, their scenes are satisfyingly determinable without being overwhelming, and they have pine! They also have a very nice "bamboo" one. I've used a lot of scents from there that I really like.

83. Do you have a pre-ritual ritual? (I.e. Something you do before rituals to prepare yourself for them). If so what is it? Typically meditation, and on special occasions it’s in a bath.

84. What real life witch most inspires your practice? Probably Scott Cunningham. Though @ breelandwalker is a great source of modern witch tips!

85. What is your favorite method of communicating with deity? Astral projection and meeting them in an in-between space that we can both access easily.

86. How do you like to organize all your witchy items and ingredients? Shelves, boxes, and not too particularly, heh.

87. Do you have any witches in your family that you know of? My dad is sort of a witch (he mostly uses protective folk magic), and my paternal grandmother has a connection to animals and nature but doesn't practice witchcraft.

88. How have you created your path? What is unique about it? This is going to sound so contrived, but genuinely just following my instincts. "Okay, I heard about using light to heal... that seems to work alright, but I think it works better for me if I visualize motion instead of light." The most unique thing is... hard to put into words. My past lives have been rather powerful, so I believe I came into this life with a lot of insight and stronger memories on how to use the abilities that followed me into this body. I haven't seen a whole lot of shadow witches around-- literally, just ONE other! So maybe that's unique, too.

89. Do you feel you have any natural gifts or affinities (premonitions, hearing spirits, etc.) that led you toward the craft? If so what are they? Oh GODS yes. Empathy, the capacity for healing, past life memories, precognitive dreams, energy-sensing in general, easily getting connected to people and nature, it's just... less that I was "led toward the craft", and more like "I was led to the realization that this is, in fact, what I've actually been doing my whole life, and here's how to do it BETTER".

90. Do you believe you can initiate yourself or do you have to be initiated by another witch or coven? That depends entirely on what you're being initiated into. Jewish or Hindu practice? Absolutely, you have to convert. Like really convert, with a leader in that practice. But Wicca? That's open as hell, the Wiccan God and Goddess are really the only initiators you need.

91. When you first started out in your path what was the first thing or things you bought? A gold pentacle censar with celtic knottery and jewels. (Not, like, real gold and real jewels, but it’s a gorgeous thing nonetheless.)

92. What is the most spiritual or magickal place you’ve been? Two words: Astral Travel. ~<3 (If I gave specifics, it just... wouldn't be something I can explain HOW.)

93. What’s one piece of advice you’d give someone who is searching for their matron and patron deities? If you need them and they want you, you'll find them. They'll make sure of it.

94. What techniques do you use to ‘get in the zone’ for meditation? Meditation IS how I "get in the zone". 8F But I use the "empty mind" technique-- you know, "clear your mind" and "let your thoughts float away". Hold still and focus on your breaths. Personally, I revel in the silence, and it makes a great headspace where I can focus on clearing out my filters, strengthening my shields, and projecting much clearer and more Exactly Directed energy.

95. Did visualization come easily to you or did you have to practice at it? I've been visualizing things intentionally since before I knew what magic really WAS (whether it was in prayer, trying to get the world to do what I willed it, or just visualizing fantasy/fiction stories), so it definitely came easily.

96. Do you prefer day or night? Why? Night, absolutely night. Unless we're comparing a winter day to a summer night, in which case I'll take a cool calm day over a warm active night. The energies of a world awake can be overwhelming to me. At night, people and animals and plants all go to sleep. (At least, enough of them that it quiets around my empathy.) I love the feeling of moonlight on my skin. The sun's energy is too hot, too bright, too active for me to handle sometimes. But I have never once been overwhelmed by the night. In fact, I've always felt safer, more alert, more ALIVE at night. I'm a lunar child, what can I say.

97. What do you think is the best time and place to do spell work? For me? When I have the energy. When I was in public school, it was Saturday nights, because I had been able to sleep in, and would be able to sleep in the next day! I always do my best workings around midnight.

98. How did you feel when you cast your first circle? Did you stumble or did it go smoothly? It went so smoothly, and I felt so safe. Energy work was something I didn't... exactly struggle to PROJECT, so much as I struggled to form it into what I needed. But I got it in the right shape, anchored with some stones and some candles, and

99. Do you believe witchcraft gets easier with time and practice? Oh yes. There will always be things that come easier than others, but with practices even the difficult things become easier.

100. Do you believe in many gods or one God with many faces? Many Gods. "Everything is one god" just doesn't make sense to me. That's like saying humanity is "one person with many faces".

101. Do you eat meat, eggs and dairy? Technically I'm pescatarian, and I really shouldn't eat dairy (lactose intolerant, possibly allergic?), and I do avoid heavily-dairy foods like yogurt (unless it's kefir) and straight-up milk, but some things, like ice cream, can't feasibly be replaced by non-dairy when you're on such a tight budget! Eggs and fish are the only Protein Foods I can eat that actually feel okay in my stomach. (Clairgustance with fish is usually pretty peaceful and calming, actually. Eggs kind of just taste like energy.)

102. What is your favorite color and why? Oh, indigo! I have a heavy bias towards blue, it's such a nice color. Calm, dark, cool. Serene. Indigo is a very dark blue with a sort of richness that reminds me of the night sky.

103. What is the one question you get asked most by non-practitioners or non-pagans? How do you usually respond? "Have you ever read the bible?" (Yes, yes I have. Book by book, chapter by chapter. I remained unconvinced.) I usually tell them "I have, cover to cover. It just didn't make my top 10 books list."

104. Which of your five senses would you say is your strongest? Touch, I absolutely experience the world through tactile touch-dominance. (I see you mentioned "five", though I believe there are nine? Empathy can be so strong it's debilitating sometimes, but it's not as constant as Touch.)

105. What is a pagan or witchcraft rule that you preach but don’t practice? I'm honestly not sure. I'm of the opinion that spirituality and a personal craft like witchcraft don't have any Hard and Fast "Rules" At All, and it's different for everyone. I do make a lot of recommendations for practices that might help other people though, even if it's not something I practice myself. The most common? Meditation styles. I come across a lot of witchlings wanting to practice meditation, but the kind I've always used, for 14 years and with immense success personally, was your classic "empty mind" meditation. But that doesn't help everyone. So I recommend other forms for them to try, like with mudras and mantras, using a fidget toy as mala beads, walking meditations, prayer/divinity meditations, ways to incorporate sonomancy or vision quests or logic puzzles (a la Zen). I've never tried them myself, because I've never needed to.

#rwt personal posts #IRL canon

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