#graph made with love and science

[space-blue]

IRL Character sheet

I was chatting with friends about our various neurodivergences today and one friend in particular is staying over because life is kicking her in the shins, so I started drawing this and asked what else should be on our spectrum checker and she deadpaned 'existential dread' so here we are. Did one for each of us, but you can have your own template for personal convenience lol

That's me, drawing this as I lost the plot twice removed on what I was supposed to do! weee

Vincent insisted his recent Gortash obsession did not qualify as fandom brainrot, just brainrot, because he, and I quote "brainrots on his own". I have failed multiple times to get him into fanfic.

The template:

I hope you can appreciate the scientific accuracy of the thing

[ban-joey]

all right grad school is making me feel like an actual scientist. okay. this is worth the money. thank god. i really am having fun

[nasa]

NASA Inspires Your Crafty Creations for World Embroidery Day

It’s amazing what you can do with a little needle and thread! For #WorldEmbroideryDay, we asked what NASA imagery inspired you. You responded with a variety of embroidered creations, highlighting our different areas of study.

Here’s what we found:

Webb’s Carina Nebula

Wendy Edwards, a project coordinator with Earth Science Data Systems at NASA, created this embroidered piece inspired by Webb’s Carina Nebula image. Captured in infrared light, this image revealed for the first time previously invisible areas of star birth. Credit: Wendy Edwards, NASA. Pattern credit: Clare Bray, Climbing Goat Designs

Wendy Edwards, a project coordinator with Earth Science Data Systems at NASA, first learned cross stitch in middle school where she had to pick rotating electives and cross stitch/embroidery was one of the options.  “When I look up to the stars and think about how incredibly, incomprehensibly big it is out there in the universe, I’m reminded that the universe isn’t ‘out there’ at all. We’re in it,” she said. Her latest piece focused on Webb’s image release of the Carina Nebula. The image showcased the telescope’s ability to peer through cosmic dust, shedding new light on how stars form.

Ocean Color Imagery: Exploring the North Caspian Sea

Danielle Currie of Satellite Stitches created a piece inspired by the Caspian Sea, taken by NASA’s ocean color satellites. Credit: Danielle Currie/Satellite Stitches

Danielle Currie is an environmental professional who resides in New Brunswick, Canada. She began embroidering at the beginning of the Covid-19 pandemic as a hobby to take her mind off the stress of the unknown. Danielle’s piece is titled “46.69, 50.43,” named after the coordinates of the area of the northern Caspian Sea captured by LandSat8 in 2019.

An image of the Caspian Sea captured by Landsat 8 in 2019. Credit: NASA

Two Hubble Images of the Pillars of Creation, 1995 and 2015

Melissa Cole of Star Stuff Stitching created an embroidery piece based on the Hubble image Pillars of Creation released in 1995. Credit: Melissa Cole, Star Stuff Stitching

Melissa Cole is an award-winning fiber artist from Philadelphia, PA, USA, inspired by the beauty and vastness of the universe. They began creating their own cross stitch patterns at 14, while living with their grandparents in rural Michigan, using colored pencils and graph paper.  The Pillars of Creation (Eagle Nebula, M16), released by the Hubble Telescope in 1995 when Melissa was just 11 years old, captured the imagination of a young person in a rural, religious setting, with limited access to science education.

Lauren Wright Vartanian of the shop Neurons and Nebulas created this piece inspired by the Hubble Space Telescope’s 2015 25th anniversary re-capture of the Pillars of Creation. Credit:  Lauren Wright Vartanian, Neurons and Nebulas

Lauren Wright Vartanian of Guelph, Ontario Canada considers herself a huge space nerd. She’s a multidisciplinary artist who took up hand sewing after the birth of her daughter. She’s currently working on the illustrations for a science themed alphabet book, made entirely out of textile art. It is being published by Firefly Books and comes out in the fall of 2024. Lauren said she was enamored by the original Pillars image released by Hubble in 1995. When Hubble released a higher resolution capture in 2015, she fell in love even further! This is her tribute to those well-known images.

James Webb Telescope Captures Pillars of Creation

Darci Lenker of Darci Lenker Art, created a rectangular version of Webb’s Pillars of Creation. Credit:  Darci Lenker of Darci Lenker Art

Darci Lenker of Norman, Oklahoma started embroidery in college more than 20 years ago, but mainly only used it as an embellishment for her other fiber works. In 2015, she started a daily embroidery project where she planned to do one one-inch circle of embroidery every day for a year.  She did a collection of miniature thread painted galaxies and nebulas for Science Museum Oklahoma in 2019. Lenker said she had previously embroidered the Hubble Telescope’s image of Pillars of Creation and was excited to see the new Webb Telescope image of the same thing. Lenker could not wait to stitch the same piece with bolder, more vivid colors.

Milky Way

Darci Lenker of Darci Lenker Art was inspired by NASA’s imaging of the Milky Way Galaxy. Credit: Darci Lenker

In this piece, Lenker became inspired by the Milky Way Galaxy, which is organized into spiral arms of giant stars that illuminate interstellar gas and dust. The Sun is in a finger called the Orion Spur.

The Cosmic Microwave Background

This image shows an embroidery design based on the cosmic microwave background, created by Jessica Campbell, who runs Astrostitches. Inside a tan wooden frame, a colorful oval is stitched onto a black background in shades of blue, green, yellow, and a little bit of red. Credit: Jessica Campbell/ Astrostitches

Jessica Campbell obtained her PhD in astrophysics from the University of Toronto studying interstellar dust and magnetic fields in the Milky Way Galaxy. Jessica promptly taught herself how to cross-stitch in March 2020 and has since enjoyed turning astronomical observations into realistic cross-stitches. Her piece was inspired by the cosmic microwave background, which displays the oldest light in the universe.

The full-sky image of the temperature fluctuations (shown as color differences) in the cosmic microwave background, made from nine years of WMAP observations. These are the seeds of galaxies, from a time when the universe was under 400,000 years old. Credit: NASA/WMAP Science Team

GISSTEMP: NASA’s Yearly Temperature Release

Katy Mersmann, a NASA social media specialist, created this embroidered piece based on NASA’s Goddard Institute for Space Studies (GISS) global annual temperature record. Earth’s average surface temperature in 2020 tied with 2016 as the warmest year on record. Credit: Katy Mersmann, NASA

Katy Mersmann is a social media specialist at NASA’s Goddard Space Flight Center in Greenbelt, Md. She started embroidering when she was in graduate school. Many of her pieces are inspired by her work as a communicator. With climate data in particular, she was inspired by the researchers who are doing the work to understand how the planet is changing. The GISTEMP piece above is based on a data visualization of 2020 global temperature anomalies, still currently tied for the warmest year on record.

In addition to embroidery, NASA continues to inspire art in all forms. Check out other creative takes with Landsat Crafts and the James Webb Space telescope public art gallery.

Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space!

[s1llyalabaster]

When mediocrity meets the supremacy - veritas ratio

Where the Doctor narrows his eyes at the trailblazer for stealing his partner's attention.. ~700 words, SFW (not necessarily connected, but read part 1!

AU where reader followed the trailblaze before quitting to pursue further studies in various fields of science with Dr. Ratio himself in the Intelligensia Guild. (Might not be entirely lore accurate, trailblazer doesnt go to Belobog)

Your mind brings you back to the soft swishes of water during your bath with you beloved. it had been almost 5 system hours since the last few drops of bathwater went down the drain, small petals being the only thing that signified your intimate rendezvous with the Doctor himself.

You shake your head, forcing yourself to pull away from the sweet, dream-esque scene. You find yourself struggling to focus on the task at hand, the smug face of Vertitas Ratio plastering itself all over the wals of your mind like the "WANTED" posters all over belobog's brick walls you saw during the journey to Jarilo VI with your old friends.

Speaking of the trailblazers, you had planned a small gathering with the Astral Express members in the evening, since they were visiting. You had yearned to see the faces of Marth 7th, Dan Heng, Himeko, Welt, even Pom Pom. You've heard from March that there had been a new member of the Astral Express, going by Caelus. Judging from March's bombarding texts of photos and videos, he seemed to have a quite....eccentric personality, but bore a kind expression nonetheless.

You'd adequately dressed yourself up after returning to you and Dr. Ratio's humble home, opting to switch to a fancier outfit. It was a speical occasion, after all. You loosely linked your arm around Veritas' very reluctant arm, walknig towards the round table where the members were sat.

"It has been a while, hasn't it?" Himeko addressed your name, and drifted her eyes to the grey-haired trailblazer to the opposite of you. Dr. Ratio narrowed his eyes, you slightly nudged him to get rid of that old habit, hard enough to get a small grunt out of him.

"Say, Trailblazer. How has the Astral Express been treating you?" You asked, watching as the gears slowly spun into action in his head, almost as if someone was controlling him through a game screen.(teehee)

"Well..I've been through lots of unforgettable journeys with the Astral Express, and they've shown me much care in a...familial way."

You nod your head, satisfied at the answer before you. You reminisce about your days spent on the Express. Whether it be happy or hurtful, significant but sad. A clink of the wine glass drew everyone at the old-fashioned western-styled restaurant's attention.

"Come on! Won't a handsome man just come up and sing along to this song with me?!"

The woman dragged Caelus' arm towards the center stage, handing him a hat. He gracefully donned it on his head as you watched in admiration. Since Caelus was younger than you, you had an almost...motherly love to him. But Veritas didn't seem to take it that way.

You clapped along to the rhythm of a song sang by the singing duo - composed of a random woman, and the newest member of the Astral Express. The soda bottles hopped in joy as the trailblazer returns to his seat. Ah, a livehouse, I see.

Throught the scene, Ratio's eyes trailed alongside your movements; every captivating smile, every clap sent to the trailblazer, every whoop or cheer sent to him, every---

Graphs and charts were buzzing about in his mind. His analytical brain was working at full speed. "What made him to be so charming when it was me that needed to be appealing?!" No amount of data or statistics could account for how much love he had for you in his heart, yet he couldn''t show it, and you were about to be taken away by--

"Veritas? Are you alright?" He had awoken to your soft touches on his face. He'd abruptly sat up on the bed that he once laid on. Pause. An epiphany occured in his mind, "You...the party...!" He tried to compose himself, yet his drunk-dazed (teehee) mind wouldn't cooperate. "The party went greatly, dear! Half the time, you were zoned out, just staring at some random poster about Robin and Sunday!"

Veritas' eyes widened. "I didn't say anything....preposterous, did I?"

"Well...only something about wanting me to be your super private secretary, and only yours-" "Ridiculous! Utterly absurd!"

Putting on his alabaster head, facing away from you. Looks like the Doctor won't be able to admit to his jealousy...

[regular-gnome]

Absolutely /adore/ your art and overall take on the Demon Realm world + it's history and the Archivists. Especially coming from someone who adores speculative biology and trying to find logic/science in magic (I'm not sure how to word it so it makes sense - basically almost everything you are doing here)

Curious if you have any ideas on how the titans managed to inhabit the planet, because Papa Titan's hand managed to reach the atmosphere just from lying down. There's no way that planet was big enough for a bunch of titans to walk around comfortably.

Idk much about planetary stuff, but is there some way the planet may have changed? Maybe the Archivists did something?

Sorry this ask got kinda long, hope you have a lovely day doing little gnome things :}

glad you like them!:D

So, one of the gnome things is overanalyzing things and avoiding doing math, but here we are, you actually made me read my biophysics notes from 4 years ago. There are a few things to really focus on and think about, but I gotta preface this by saying I am very much not an expert on speculative biology xD I just have the internet and some books I am basing my theories on

Titans:

First the titans themselves. A while ago, I made an approximation of how large the Boiling Isles titan is and got that it would be around 27 km in height post-mortem. Buuut if the titan was this height during its life is another question because it would run into some biophysics issues

Issues like the atmospheric pressure. At ground level, it is 101.3 kPa, but at 27 km, it falls is 1.6 hPa (titan bless wolframalpha for counting this as exp funtions are the death of me). That is 63 times higher pressure on their legs than on their head! Blood circulation would be shot to the moon. The blood is liquid that in general transports gasses so travelling fron upper body parts to lower ones where there is diffrent dissoving of oxygen would end up in gas bubbles, which are NOT GREAT. Additionally, their ability to stand up or lie down quickly would be pretty much non-existant as that would be super fast change of pressure and more bubbles. But okay, lets say they are like some kind of abyss fishes and keep constant internal pressure.. that would still mean their hearts would need to be either massive or they would have multiple pumping mechanisms to handle their size (maybe like the single-chamber hearts in fish??) And the thing is we saw their heart, it was big but not THAT big so unless it was just one of many, maybe the last beating heart there might be diffrent explanation. And Im not gonna even go into how temperature changes every 100m around 0,6C, lets say their fur makes them warm and cozy and blue blood avoids freezing problems like some arctic critters

bringing those graphs up again cause they show the altitude change nicely

All of this to say the titans during life were probably smaller. They would still have been massive, but maybe not three times the size of mt Everest massive. So next thing to consider is their magic. Their powers are closely tied to life, healing and creation and so, the demons on the Boiling Isles are said to have originated from it and their evolution waas likely sped up a lot thanks to it. Next we saw size-changing spells affecting King in the carnival episode, so it's not a stretch to believe that all titans could be affected by this kind of spells, with the strength depending on the particular titan's magic. So anyway as the titan was activly dying, its magic could have desperately attempted to save it by rapidly generating more cells to repair its failing systems, ending up in expansion of all tissues and their overall size. (Maybe thats why the vains were so big and empty in the mines, you cant create more energy so maybe the magic going with simmilar concept expanded everything around but not made more of blood?) However, despite these efforts, the magic would ultimately fail to save them. When it reached a critical point, maybe after using up most of its magical energy, the process would stop or change focus. There are some fun grusome possiblities on how that might have went down but this is already pretty long

So in short, I think the titans during life were big but only got island sized after death, otherwise theyd have some wild biological mechanisms battling physics and them becomming bigger would explain where did most of the blood go after death. Not to mention how much food they would need

Planet:

Next the size of the planet. While we don't have many clues to determine whether it's bigger or smaller than Earth, one clue is Luz's lack of reaction to changing gravity after passing through the door. If the planet were larger (or denser I know), she would feel change in g-force, so like the feeling of being on a lift going up in case of bigger planet or down in case of smaller. If the diffrence was significant she would develop issues with circulatory system and fatigue. But thats not the case and I do not have the energy to calculate min change xD

So let's say the planet is Earth-sized. This is still a lot. We don't know if there are any continents on the planet or their sizes, but even if there were same like earth, the scale is immense. If the Boiling Isles were the size of New York (based on titan's height) or even larger, say the size of Hawaii, compared to the world map, that's tiny. If Earh is 510 100 000 km², while NYC covers 1213,3 km² to cover the same area, we'd need 420423 titans lied up neatly next to each other. And thats if they are isles sized their whole life. There can also be landmasses where they can lay on, oceans deep enough to cover bodies, they can be stacked.... I don't think the planet necessarily needs to be much larger to accommodate creatures of this size

TOH as a show:

One thing to remember while analyzing shots from the show is that we we will run into contradictions because it's a show, one that is not focused on speculative biology. While most elements are well-constructed, some details may show inconsistencies. For example, determining the direction of north on a titan becomes challenging when one shot shows the sun setting in one direction and later another. Finding the titan's height poses difficulties when one shot shows their arm reaching the atmosphere while another barely shows them reaching it while standing. But its not due to carelessness, its more about serving purpose of the shot, conveying the atmosphere. They both show the titans are giant, the view from above is beautiful and if they were more focused on keeping them some arbitrery size it might have taken away from it

And Im pretty sure that I'm wrong around a lot of aspects here, how it wasnt supposed to be interpreted like that or its more convoluted than I realize. Thats just my take on this. World we live in can seem small as we can only see a tiny part of it but Earth is so amazingly vast. It's larger than we can comprehend, and yet, it's nothing compared to the vastness of the universe. So, yeah, some of my thoughts on titans and the demon realms planet xD peace

[oneslimybastard]

Another underutilized aspect of N, Natural Harmonia Gropius himself, is that he's conceptualized as not just a Math Guy, but a Math Genius if we go by some interview trivia notated on Bulbapedia.

It clearly shows in the way he speaks since his (translated) dialogue (idk about the original japanese one) is full of hamfisted references to formulas and frustration expressed when the chaos of the world does not align with them — which to me is like, the core of his character, something that makes him both An Asshole to deal with but also a very intellectually curios and creative individual. It's just a brand of creativity not a lot of people can keep up with nor understand.

N likes math because a lot of math is about clearly defined variables and their relationship to one another. If you come across an inconsistency that doesn't fit any prior definitions, you iron out a new definition and suddenly the field has expanded upon itself tenfold. It aligns with how his Very Autistic Brain functions, x + y = z, if I do x to y then z will happen. If z doesn't happen, then that just means I have to identify the hidden variables within the exchange and rewrite the formula to be more accurate.

Black and White's quality of writing is. Like pokémon often is. Questionable at best. The foundations are there but the execution is dumbed down and corny because it's still aimed at kids, BW in specific really cutting the theme of pokémon trainer ethics short in favor of just "dang u beat me in the pogiebattle guess ur right!". How-ev-er. In my head, and the reason why I still find the plot of those games compelling (aside for my unhinged thirst for goth man-milf Ghetsis) is that to me they're about local cult-raised autist Normal Henry Gropus bashing his head against the world over and over to desperately try and make the formulas make sense, to distill it into variables he can understand and predict on a consistent basis, and failing miserably at it. Because even if the world is Technically made up of a bunch of chemistry that you could, in theory, predict, there's just a lot of random noise in there from microscopic complexities that fuck everything up.

Pokémon are simpler creatures (discounting the eerily intelligent ones) who will be nice enough to behave like math problems most of the time. Humans rarely extend that grace, the more N studies them like a science project the more contradictory variables pop up. They have a million thoughts in their head he doesn't have access to, that brew into feelings he doesn't understand, which leads to actions he can't do a proper traceback through. Which is frustrating, devastatingly frustrating. At least at first.

Due to how BW2 pans out and my own yearning for thematic mirroring, whereas Ghetsis gives in to the Autistic Bitterness over all these NTs he doesn't fuckign understand, I like to think N develops a sort of joy in studying people like the impossibly complex math problems we are. Because he likes math, he likes figuring shit out, he likes buying a nightmare rubik's cube and charting the squares out on a nightmare variable graph (listen i am not a math guy. i respect the hustle but my skill level is too low to accurately attempt to simulate the process in writing. im sorry math guys) so he has a home-made flexible cheat code on how to solve any possible mix-up of it. It's fun for him, it stimulates his brain and he is so stupid good at it that he can only share that joy with like a stray alakazam or metagross because he's a bit of a tarzan just hanging out in the wilderness, he doesn't know any high end mathematicians he can casually geek out about combinatorial game theory with, and the normies just do not get it .

I think this math enjoying is kind of a big part of his ~Innocence~ as well, since there's a lot of childlike glee to being a Math Guy. It's the love of problem solving as a process rather than a means to an end, it's playful, but severely misunderstood to the point where people kinda might assume things about you if you are a math guy.

N's love of math helps him love the world but it also isolates him. He's a genius, but since he can't communicate it in a palatable way it'll get overlooked in favor of him just being a loomy weirdo on the street chatting up the local patrats.

If introduced to DnD though he'd spend so much time on forging ridiculously optimized multiclass builds, then migrate to digging through old obscure sci-fi ttrpgs from the 80s with hellishly complex systems just for the funsies of learning how the presented variables behave within a variety of frameworks, but then if you actually invited him to play with your group he'd look at you like you'd just called his mom a llama.

He's a neat guy to me, STEM guy who's also one of those animal rights activists who's a little too PETA-coded, I like him :)

[myneurospicyspirit]

Superstring Shifting Theory

In response to @doverealities asking for a logical explanation to shifting, I present to you: my theory on dimensions.

It should be noted that I am not a physicist. I just love learning and science! Also, this explanation is rooted in Superstring Theory (if I ever have the time I will try to do posts with other String Theory variants), which is a scientific theory but it is a plausible one.

The Superstring Theory of physics says there are 10 dimensions.

The first dimension (1D) and second dimension (2D) are something you probably learned about in middle school algebra: the x and y axis. To bring something into the third dimension (3D) the z axis is added. Thus, the 3D is actually 3 variables put together which form the observable physical world.

The fourth dimension (4D) is time, which is essential to shifting in two different ways. First, time is observable, but according to Einstein's Special Theory of relativity, time is relative - how time moves is dependent on the observer’s perspective. This is especially important to understand because it is what makes time ratios possible. A time ratio of 1 CR hour = 1 DR hour, means both realities have the same perspective of time; time moves at the same speed in both realities. A time ratio of 1 CR hour = 24 DR hours means time is “faster” in your DR from the perspective of your CR, but when you are in your DR you don’t experience time any faster than you would in your CR. It is all about perspective. 

Secondly, the 4D and 3D form coordinates to plot a point on the graph that makes up the universe. You know how people say “every time you breathe you are shifting” or “you are shifting every second”? This is what they mean. Every physical 3D change, combined with the 4D (when it happens) forms a moment different from the one before it and the one that comes after, thus we are constantly shifting to different “points” in the universe. When you shift to your DR, you are shifting to a certain moment in that universe and then continue to move along those points. Thus, this concept is important to understand so you understand what universe “graph” and the “point” on that graph which you want to go to and start at.

Alright… now here comes the fun stuff!

The fifth dimension (5D) is made of universes that have similar 3D and 4D to our current one. DRs (or maybe they should be DUs for desired universe?) like Fame and Streamer DRs, and even DRs that fall in the “realistic fiction” category (ex. Grey’s Anatomy, Bridgerton, NCIS) all reside in the 5D spatial dimension.

The sixth dimension (6D) is fairly similar to the 5D, except it stretches all the way back to the way the universe was formed at the Big Bang (not proven, but highly likely this is how the universe was formed). If there are differences in astronomy in your DR, it probably resides in the 6D.

The seventh dimension (7D) and eight dimension (8D) have a similar relationship to one another as the 5D and 6D do. The 7D describes universes that were formed in a different way than ours, and the 8D is where all the possible universes from the different 7D initial conditions reside. (If you aren’t understanding these two, don’t worry too much about it. In my opinion, these are the two least important dimensions to understand how they work in order to understand this theory).

The ninth dimension (9D) is where universes with different laws of physics are. This is where (I believe) DRs with magical and supernatural elements are. Because these elements often defy the laws of physics, they go all the way back to the 9D in order to be possible.

The tenth dimension (10D) is where anything anyone can imagine is possible. When in doubt, assume your DR resides in the 10D.

Note: just because one DR resides in the 5D and another resides in the 9D, doesn’t mean one will be easier to get to than the other. The dimensions explain how the existence of DRs is possible. They do not necessarily indicate distance.

I hope this helps!

[mint-ty]

Okay, so. Palm reading. From the poor laggy tiktok live (thank you so much @follivora for recording ❤️) which is still much more than I ever expected! Disclaimer that I learned it from my cousin's grandpa who lived in a forest and was more often drunk than sober lol, so there's no science behind it. I do this as a party trick often and it seems to be more accurate than not so who knows 🤷‍♀️ maybe drinking selfmade alcohol in the woods does give some magic powers.

I got Bojan's and Nace's hands below the cut. Sadly Jure's hand was right one (I can read only from the left, supposedly it's closer to the heart so more accurate, idk). And I couldn't catch Jan's :<

More below the cut:

Bojan:

He really has the softest babyhands because it was hard to see SHIT no matter how close to camera😬. What I did manage to see is:

Occupation line: Has many hobbies he feels strongly about and they all bring more or less good money.

Money line: (more like resources line) is nice and visible and will stay like that (so he can start subscribing to OF with no worries).

SOULMATE LINE: There is a soulmate visible who will be a very fulfilling relationship. Can't say if already met or not, but the actual settled down life starts quite later (made some +10years from now or so?). Oh! and the soulmate is met through the hobby that's bringing him the most money :) so.. :)))

Lifespan line: I think I saw something around 80+ years of life..? but really hard to say. Also when looking closely this line tells a lot about accidents and illnesses. I think.. I might have seen some accidents which are usually on a similar level like breaking a bone.. but then Bojan's health is not a secret to us (poor victorian boy).

Nace:

Jan was really fondling that hand :D so it's well visible (would love to see in person 🥲)

Nace has very clear lines which normally are for people who are confident about their decisions.

Occupation line: he has one set line which matches both hobby and job. So no surprise his hobby is his job. There are some breaks but it stays on the path (for example on Bojan's palm there are a lot more "side quests")

Money line: Actually seems to be doing a bit better than Bojan's :D Especially in the later life. Maybe Nace is taking tips from Jere and investing to real estate. Who knows.

SOULMATE line: y'all gonna love this one :D it starts very VERY early and it's the most visible one. I don't know what to tell, only that he already met the soulmate, they're already happily together, met through shared hobby/job line and it's going to stay like that to the end.

Life line: a bit hard to see but it seems appropriate long one (with a lot of slow illnesses for the last 15+ years which are usually associated with old age). Can't really spot any serious accidents, but he does seem a bit clumsy..

I can make a line graph if anyone is interested? Or if you want your own palm reading always feel free to dm :D (has to be left hand). But again, I've no idea how legit it is and for sure it's not science :D

[the-fiction-witch]

Measuring

Media The Maze Runner

Character Newt

Couple Newt X Reader

Rating Smut + Funny

Concept Measuring

Smut Nudity / HJ / Mild BJ or Kisses / Cumming / Jizz in hair

I stood in the garden shed pad and pencil in hand, counting up all our tools, all our seeds, all our garden stock that we had lining the selves in the shed. I made sure to make accurate notes as this would be used then to make the list for the box and the list for the builders to tell them how many of each tool or item we need making up for us. It should be zarts job as keeper however he outsourced it to me as usual. I was making my notes peacefully when the shed door opened wide. I glanced over to see a familiar sight.

Y/n our only girl currently, in her usual little shoes, the same cargo trousers as everyone else but she had cut them into shorts due the hot weather, a loose blue shirt with it slightly hung off her left shoulder exposing her bra strap. She had her hair in a long plait a blue ribbon worked into her plait and around her head like a headband to keep the hair out of bed face, her measuring tape around her neck and her own writing pad In her arm. She was our laundry girl and repair girl cleaning and fixing all the clothes of the glade. Frankly she had been a godsend in that respect as It meant at least we could have some fresh clothes every once in a while. 

"Hi love" I smiled 

"Take out your dick" 

I froze up for a moment having to have a moment of buffer "uuuuuuuhhh… what!?"

"Take out your dick" she repeats

".... Yeah that's what I thought you said. One more time I think I might be loosing my mind"

"Take out your dick. Your penis. Your cock. Your manhood. The doohickey between your legs" 

"I. Have. So many. Questions"

"I don't have time for this newt come on"

"Have you been out in the sun too long love?"

"Fine I'll do it" she sighed coming in more but I backed away holding my pencil like a machete as I didn't have mine and the pad to protect myself

"Ahhh no! No! Ain't nobody touching my doohickey!" I complained "now please. Explain what the bloody hell is going on"

"I'm making a graph" 

"A graph? What kind of graph?"

"I'm measuring every boys height and penis length I'm trying to see if there's a correlation"

"....why?"

"I have a day off and I'm bored" she shrugs "come on newt I have to do everyone in the glade for my research, I have them all written down"

"-im not the first person you came to with this?"

"No, I didn't know were you where your going to be my twentieth seventh subject"  

"How on earth did you get anyone to agree to that?"

"Well I'm also going to have to make a largest to smallest scale for the graph"

"AHH. That's how. You realize the only reason anyone has agreed to this is A to show the only girl in the glade there cocks and B because they all wanna see if they have a bigger cock then someone else"

"Science is science I don't care why they agreed so long as they do" she shrugs "so… may I measure?"

"No" I told her

"But my graph! Science!"

"Your graph will be fine without one participant"

"Please"

"No. Besides once Minho finds out where I am on the scale he'll never let me live it down" I sighed returning to my work 

"Why? Are you going to be one of those really weird variables?"

"Y/n. Just no."

"Fine. Fun crusher" she sighed 

I shook my head as went back to my work making notes and counting things up but as I did I noticed her out the corner of my eye with her tape measure checking my height

"Y/n!"

"Newtie 5'10 and a half" she notes on her little pad 

"You're not going to give up on this are you?"

"Nope"

"Fine" I sighed "on the condition I get to know everyone else's"

"Okay"

"Alright" I sighed making sure to lock the shed so knowone would come in 

"Go on then" she smiled with her little tape measure

"Alright alright." I told her undoing my pants unable to stop glancing at her as I did eventually they dropped to my ankles and she waited smiling at me moving to kneel on the floor In Front of me stroking her tape 

"Come on I haven't got all day" she says so I slowly tugged my underwater down enough she could do her measuring. She wasted no time immediately starting her work it was

 "For god sake newt it keeps changing" she complained

"It's cold in here love!" I complained 'don't get hard. Don't get hard. I know there's a girl like an inch away from my cock but don't get hard! She's gonna notice that'

My thoughts were rather suddenly interrupted but her blowing a warm breath across me "come on little guy I know it's cold in here but I'm trying to measure" she giggled stroking her hand up my shaft a few times

"Uuuuuuuhhh…." Well. There goes the idea of not getting hard 

"Yay there he is" she giggled returning to measuring and making her notes "thank you newt" she smiled giving me a kiss but that was enough- "Ahhhh!" She squealed in shock "newt!" She screamed 

"I'm so sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry" I told her as quickly as I could even if I was still a bit disoriented quickly pulling my pants up as she got to her feet 

"Seriously!" She yelled 

"I'm sorry!" I told her "it uhh it's in your hair"

"I know!" She complained as I had managed to hit both her face and her hair 

"I'm really really sorry y/n" I told her letting her use my hoodie to clean her face and hair 

"It's fine." She sighed "what I get for helping"

"Have you… helped anyone else today?"

"No, but I figured you'd need a hand" she smiled giving my cheek a little kiss too 

"Thank you very very much" I smiled giving her a kiss too "so where do I rank?"

"Not sure. A bit unfair given you were hard" she giggled

"Ohh trust me any guy in the glade saw you on your knees they were hard" I told her 

"Interesting" she giggled "it's fine some boys were. I'll show you my graph later" she smiled giving my cheek another kiss and heading to the door "think positive newt you beat gally" she smiled as she headed out into the glade 

[redjadethewriter]

Longing For Love: Complex Trauma Deflects Deep Connection and Love

When I look back on the dream of the “Lady with a Needle” and analyze it today, my abstract mind back then conjured a way to show me the depth to which love had penetrated in my romantic relationships. It may have seemed gruesome or even frightening, the image of love manifesting as piercing wounds on my arm, with the woman inserting a needle directly through and locking both ends to prevent its removal. But then again, many of my life traumas often manifest as wounds on my body in dreams.

In the past, I used to dream about showing someone all the stab wounds and bullet wounds I’ve endured over time. I would confidently take off my shirt and reveal my scars, whether they were freshly opened wounds or partially healed ones. However, learning about C-PTSD has shed light on how this condition affects my ability to connect deeply and allow love to penetrate.

Reflecting on this vivid dream, it’s difficult to ignore being stabbed by a long needle. It has made me realize that most of my relationships never reached such a deep level. They remained mostly surface-level, and some didn’t even pierce at all, instead tearing up my flesh with countless unsuccessful attempts. The most significant instance of this was my marriage, which caused widespread injury.

I have to admit that my life didn’t have good role models for love. I believe that many individuals who engage in introspection eventually will come to the same conclusion. Recalling a scientist’s attempt to study love through brain activity, they observed that regions of the brain associated with familiarity and novelty would illuminate.

Personally, I approach theories and studies from science enthusiasts with caution. While they may be logical and backed by numbers, graphs, and figures, I believe it is important to balance this understanding that we cannot fully comprehend human emotions. One theory, for example, suggests that familiarity and novelty are the basis of love, solely based on brain scans. If this is true, it is crucial to warn people about their modeled figures, may influence their attraction to certain people and relationships. Unfortunately, that’s their parents or caregivers. However, this concerns me because it raises questions about the context of familiarity and novelty. If a person’s parental figure was abusive or narcissistic, or the relationship displayed destructive behaviors, their children may subconsciously or unconsciously follow a similar path in choosing partners. The question then becomes, how do we change this pattern? If someone did not have exposure to a healthy form of love or a healthy relationship model, they would likely continue in a similar cycle. This is why I engage in self-reflection, as I strive to break free from this cycle. It is disheartening to see that some individuals should have ended their romantic relationships long ago because of incompatibility, without realizing the detrimental impact it would have on their children, who are the most vulnerable in their lives.

I have personally witnessed a disturbing trend among my blood relatives and their children, particularly their young sons. Even before reaching the age of 10, these boys are showing signs of bitterness towards women. This is not something to be taken lightly or ignored, as the younger generation is bearing the brunt of it. They are incredibly depressed and lonely. While many people blame millennials for societal issues, the truth is that generations before them, such as gen-x and boomers, along with their parents, are responsible as well. This is a generational issue that continues to repeat itself, with a common underlying theme: bad parenting, a lack of healthy examples of love, and the suppression of a child’s natural inclination to explore and discover themselves, including their emotions. Rather than allowing children to embrace their true selves, adults often punish or ostracize them for deviating from societal gender norms and other human devised structures that gatekeep individuals.

***sigh***

Clustering people under two categories of traits is not beneficial to anyone. For example, I may appear tomboyish, but I actually give off more mommy vibes. I admit I emanate more yin energy than yang. Interestingly, I’ve seen even the most girly of ladies give off daddy vibes. I use these terms because I may have watched too much Thai GL. Furthermore, in all my past relationships, my partners have exhibited more yang traits, and I have no clue how that happened. There seems to be truth to the idea of magnetism drawing in your opposite in romantic relationships. But the point I’m making is, so what if someone prefers to exist in a certain way? All couples work differently to coexist. It’s about whatever brings joy and fulfillment.

But let’s refocus on the main topic…

Or not…

It saddens me to see how conditioned behaviors constantly oppress our individual human nature, or even have someone dictate our human nature based on extremely biased perspectives and not consider the nurture aspect of it. It almost seems like society wants to avoid accountability for the shitshow that they have created, but that’s just my assumption.

When I observe people ending up in abusive relationships or other unhealthy circumstances, I can’t help but question the root cause. Unfortunately, it falls on the parents’ shoulders, yet they too are victims of the same circumstances, lacking healthy love and healthy parenting role models. Recognizing this vicious cycle is crucial, and it’s up to me to take accountability and start the steps for change. I have come to accept that breaking this cycle will largely be my responsibility for my lineage. I don’t expect my parental figures to take any accountability; this is about my life and salvaging whatever quality I can find to allow deep love into it.

I yearn to learn and experience what healthy love truly is, even if I have to draw from the experiences of others who also struggle with this issue. I’ve realized that love is not transactional. It’s also a fundamental part of who I am and what I desire, buried beneath layers of darkness. However, I am not desperate to seek it out, as I have learned firsthand that nothing good comes from desperation. Instead, I strive to maintain a steady mind and unwavering determination to have patience and find a romantic partner who truly aligns with my desires and values. I firmly believe that time and age should not dictate when I will meet that person, as many individuals find their soulmates or life partners later in life, often after going through many divorces or even having children in the process.

After learning this and reflecting on it, I’ve realized that if I’m going to invest my energy in someone, it needs to be in a relationship that is truly worth it. I want to build something meaningful with a solid foundation. So, when I had that dream where someone deeply connects with me and commits to both ends, it confirms to me that this person, or even myself, desires that level of commitment and will put in the effort. Even though I was initially hesitant in the dream, it turned out to be beneficial because that person genuinely cared about my well-being. They wanted to ensure I felt secure and safe. It’s comforting to think about having someone who has my back and maybe feel safe enough with them to let down my defenses.

However, I’ll conclude this rant by saying, “genuine love is not crazy.” That’s just settling for bullshit. Actually, it’s called attachment and abandonment issues.

Shit… I have a lot to work on.

Thank you.

[transmutationisms]

For half a century, US psychologists and the public have largely said one thing to Sigmund Freud: drop dead. Too bad for psychologists and the public. The father of psychoanalysis knew you can’t kill the unconscious once it’s been inscribed therein. Psychology has only ever succeeded, even to this day, in killing Freud by resurrecting him and the unconscious itself—again and again, in a rogues’ gallery of baroque disguises. Each stage of progressive advance in the human sciences has been bedeviled by the intermittent and shadowy reappearance of the unconscious—in the consulting room, in data and graphs, lit up on the fMRI, in interpretations and discourses, in historical materialism, in each of our disciplines, in the common idioms of love and hate, friends and enemies, the family and beyond. The repressed returns—especially when we repress in error. The first myth Freud sought to dismantle was that of the family; it was also where he made his first mistakes. Critical theorist Mark Poster argues that Freud failed to give birth fully to the psychoanalysis of which he was capable—the one we might need now. For just as Freud argues that the family romance was an inevitable mistake that the bourgeoise family was doomed to repeat, he inevitably made mistakes about it, relegating the symptom to private property precisely because he relegated the problem of private property to a symptom. Freud only paused to consult the medically relevant family when curing individuals, but the family form itself was not wholly in question.

https://www.parapraxismagazine.com/articles/a-tragedy-of-errors-a-comedy-of-terrors

[ninootny]

Any silly Gary thoughts?

Mmmmm,,,,, I love the artsy side of Gary!! I think he doodles a lot when he thinks about his inventions (just like when he explains his plans)- It helps him to put words on things/process his ideas better?

Also i think he would love Shadergraphs/nodes, aka maths with pictures (or art with maths :T), idk, it's very nerdy + he seems to like things with (a lot of) steps (like the thingamajig)

Like, he could def use this kind of things to create some graphs while he's developing a simulator for agents and he would be like "GADZOOKS!! LOOK AT THIS AMAZING WAVE THAT IS ANIMATED THANKS TO THE SCIENCE!! THAT'S AMAZING!!" with 3 cups of coffee in the body and no sleep. a very gary thing. (Also it's very satisfying when your shader does something cool so yeah 👍)- also he will talk about how it works for hours because hum. yeah. goofy aaah nerd emoji penguin

Also, I want Gary to listen to Hatsune Miku. I really like this thought.

btw thank you for asking it made me really happy!!! 🫡

[onefleshonepod]

Hi! My wife is looking for some new books and I was trying to remember one that was mentioned briefly on the podcast- something about lesbians who can’t touch each other? And then they brush pinkies at some point? What was that book? (Also, your analysis is brilliant and we both love the podcast soooo much!!)

hi! 🖤 thank you so much for the kind words!!

i’m very sorry to say that the book in question is not about lesbians – it’s six of crows, a young adult novel by leigh bardugo (in the same universe as the grisha books, which were recently adapted as a tv show on netflix).

the couple we love brush pinkies for two microseconds in the sequel which completes the duology, crooked kingdom (mild spoilers for the first book in the plot summary on goodreads).

i (baily) love these two books so much (as does kabriya). all the characters are delightful and well fleshed-out, the books are very funny, and there’s an exciting and twisty plot which tests all of the characters and slowly reveals their backstories.

some more book recommendations, for you/your wife and for other people who may be interested:

sticking to leigh bardugo’s work to start, i also love this book of short fairy tales from the same grisha universe (my review on goodreads). kind of hate linking my own goodreads review here in a self-indulgent way, but i hate the idea of rewriting reviews and summaries i've already written more, so there you go.

i honestly find leigh bardugo very inspirational because she substantially improved as a writer between her first series, the grisha trilogy (which relies heavily on ya cliches like the mean girl, the most specialest chosen girl ever, and the love triangle with normal guy next door and hot but morally questionable guy) and the crows duology.

if you’re looking for things to read that are like the locked tomb:

more work by tamsyn herself:

her novella “the deepwater bride,” which is not available online but can be purchased for a reasonable price here.

“the magician’s apprentice,” which is available in full here, is an early exploration of some of the themes that arise in john’s relationships with alecto and harrow in the locked tomb

“chew,” a short story about cannibalism set during wwii

"the woman in the hill" (have not read)

“the house that made the sixteen loops of time” (have not read)

wlw sff books i have enjoyed, in no particular order:

a memory called empire by arkady martine: an anti-imperialist epic, written with a historian’s love for the byzantine and aztec empires. intricate worldbuilding with spectacular little diegetic poems and excerpts that i personally really enjoy. also uses the 70s science fiction conceit of overthinking social encounters to the point where one conversation can take up to fifteen pages (think dune and early dragonriders of pern) – i love this but i know some people who grew up reading today’s snappy ya fiction really don’t. contains a memory device that i suspect tamsyn was inspired by for aim/the messenger. a debut novel with some pacing issues – it read a bit like an exponential growth graph, leaving barely enough time to explain what was happening before the book was over. i haven’t read the sequels (i have a hardcover copy of the second book sitting on my desk literally right now) but hopefully they are better paced.

the traitor baru cormorant by seth dickinson: i’ve ragged on this series for its heavy-handed writing, telling and not showing, and thinly-sketched time skips, but despite all that it’s an enjoyable read. a very dark anti-imperialist tragedy set in a homophobic empire loosely based on late victorian britain. lots of economic intrigue. has similar psychological and medical horror to harrow the ninth beginning in the second book, if that’s something you enjoyed.

the unspoken name by a.k. larkwood: the story is thrilling, the world is interesting, the characters are lovable, the names are luxurious, the romance is cute, and i plan to read the sequel. the science fantasy vibe is very similar to tlt. however, this book is trying to cram three books into one. the time skips are frustrating because it robs you of organically coming to know and like these characters. loved it but be warned!

she who became the sun by shelley parker-chan: speculative historical fiction about a chinese emperor (do not google this emperor like i did bc you will be spoiled for some elements of the story!!), with minor fantasy elements. parker-chan does interesting things with gender if you’re interested in that aspect of the locked tomb series. however, it is definitely set in quasi-fantasy ancient china, not a homophobia- and sexism-free future. this was my favourite of the three major adult fantasy novels with central f/f relationships released in 2021 that were often lumped together on social media, lol.

speaking of those novels, i also enjoyed the unbroken by c.l. clark. it has a similar anti-imperialist storyline to the locked tomb, inspired by the real-world history of morocco and france. definitely has some debut novel issues (the pacing was very uneven), but i loved the characters.

foundryside by robert jackson bennett: a unique magic system called 'scriving' that allows you to essentially speak to objects, interesting plot, and a sweet but honestly kind of understated and forgettable romance. slow to start but has a satisfying and wild ending that sets up the next book in the series.

the ruthless lady’s guide to wizardry by c.m. waggoner: a light but delightful and hilarious fantasy romance. not at all similar to the locked tomb in terms of atmosphere – this has oddball victorian steampunk vibes.

the long way to a small, angry planet by becky chambers: in many ways, this series not at all like the locked tomb – it’s very cosy and sweet and low-stakes. in one way, though, it is like tlt – imo the locked tomb is fundamentally a warm-hearted book series full of love for humanity, even though there is a lot of horror and loss and grief. you can’t take loved away, etc etc. becky chambers writes from the same point of view on life and love, but without the horrors. these books always have interesting and inventive worldbuilding. sometimes the voice of the author peeks through in a clumsy way when detailing the leftist policies of her invented worlds but since i generally agree with the author politically it doesn’t bother me. the excellent sequels are linked stories, not a direct continuation of the same plot.

sisters of the vast black by lina rather: hey, nuns in space!! some of them are gay. i gave this four stars right after reading but i can't remember anything about it, so take from that what you will.

the raven and the reindeer by t. kingfisher: wlw retelling of the snow queen!

daughter of mystery by heather rose jones: alternate history fantasy romance / fantasy of manners set in a made-up european country. enjoyable lady and bodyguard dynamic.

monstrous regiment by terry pratchett: fantasy comedy about a fictional war in discworld. the fact that i'm putting this in wlw is a bit of a spoiler; i'm sorry, try to forget that.

some wlw sff books i thought were “okay” to “fine” but you might like better:

the priory of the orange tree by samantha shannon: i feel obliged to recommend this because we’ve mentioned it so much on the pod. a solid three stars. interesting enough, just not mindblowing in any way. here's a good although mildly spoilery review if you're interested in a more articulate encapsulation of some of my issues with this book.

this is how you lose the time war by amal el-mohtar and max gladstone: it’s fine. too flowery for my taste. would have preferred to read unrelated poems from these authors and read this story written by other people.

starless by jacqueline carey: standalone fantasy with a very promising start, great central relationship, and well-sketched setting, but the plot slots into a prophecy that’s already 90% complete and the world is saved all within the last 50 pages. as long as you’re not expecting anything else, you’ll probably enjoy it! i like jacqueline carey's other work as well. i read her book santa olivia like a decade and change ago; iirc it's a wlw romance between a boxer and a werewolf in a post-apocalyptic future, but i barely remember it so can't really rec it.

bone shard daughter by andrea stewart: it’s decent. an anti-imperialist story set in a society reminiscent of ancient china. there are lesbians. interesting magic system built on draining life from unwilling subjects of the empire to create magical constructs with, essentially, computer code written on shards of these subjects’ bones.

the jasmine throne by tasha suri: another book that is fine. also anti-imperialist, with interesting magic based on spirits from hindu mythology. i loved the worldbuilding inspired by indian history. there were definitely pacing issues in this book though – the central relationship lurched from place to place without any super natural development in between, and it seemed like the book was trying to end about seven times before it actually did.

non wlw sff i love:

a natural history of dragons by marie brennan: a personal favourite of mine. the beginning of a series following essentially a female charles darwin in an alternate history england. really is nothing at all like the locked tomb but i love it so much. here's my non-spoilery review of the fifth book.

provenance by ann leckie: my review on goodreads. i personally got really pissed off at the ancillary justice series for doing a hard left turn away from the universe-spanning objectives and alien horror i expected based on book one, but i love the author’s other work, including this book.

all systems red and the rest of the murderbot series by martha wells: nothing but hilarious romps with murderbot. i can never remember anything that happened after i finish reading but i always enjoy the experience. here's my review. i love martha wells’ other work as well, like this standalone fantasy novel and this portal fantasy series. there’s an author-approved free download of her debut novel available here.

the curse of chalion and the sequel, paladin of souls, by lois mcmaster bujold: very warm and happy and above all thoughtful reads. my review of paladin of souls is here. the penric and desdemona series is set in the same world; it's a gentle and feel-good novella series which only gets better as it goes on. lois mcmaster bujold is best known for the vorkosigan saga, which is extremely good – don’t START with my favourite, komarr, but please read enough so that you love miles and then read komarr (my review here).

the goblin emperor by katherine addison: god this is so good. SO good. i can't put it better than i did in my review.

velocity weapon by megan e. o'keefe: a somewhat complicated but mostly straightforward scifi adventure – the complexity comes from the timeline and structure of the book, something i enjoy picking apart in the locked tomb.

spinning silver by naomi novik: i love naomi novik’s writing and plotting. imo, her plots unfold in the same inexorable way as tamsyn muir’s, where the characters are established and placed in situations such that they move into and resolve conflict in a way that is shocking and thrilling at first read but perfectly fitting and inevitable in hindsight.

natasha pulley’s slow but thrilling novels, particularly the watchmaker of filigree street (my review) and the bedlam stacks (my review).

sixteen ways to defend a walled city by k.j. parker: a whip-smart fantasy based on the byzantine empire (or the late western roman empire). anti-imperialist story from the perspective of someone within the empire itself. uses the very weak device of just swapping skin colours and doing Fantasy Racism against the white people, which you just kind of have to laugh at. the narrator is very misogynistic but imo funny enough to get away with it – you can tell the author is making fun of his character as much as the character is bitterly taking witty jabs at the world around him. there are 3 books in this series now, all excellent.

the wee free men by terry pratchett: speaking of monstrous regiment and terry pratchett, nona pov reminded me a lot of tiffany aching, beloved of younger me.

rivers of london and the rest of series by ben aaronovitch: my review here of the first book. the subsequent books are all better than the first, tbh, but the first isn't bad by any means, just kind of weird. the series has a charming protagonist with a very gideon-like outlook on the world (for a straight dude lol).

infomocracy by malka older: thought-provoking near-future scifi.

powers by ursula k. leguin: showcases ursula k. leguin's always-excellent worldbuilding. profoundly human and full of love. my review here.

winter’s orbit by everina maxwell: m/m scifi romance. i have to be honest, i read this first when it was published as original fiction on ao3 and i haven’t read the published version, but i don’t think it’s changed too much except to add more political intrigue. very sweet. contains a memorable scene with scifi skiing.

sunshine by robin mckinley: my favourite ever vampire story. robin mckinley has also has done a lot of excellent fairy tale retellings.

sff short reads:

this list is already way too long, so i'm just going to recommend two short story authors i love:

rich larson, story 1 that i love (my review), story 2 that i love (my review).

sarah pinsker, story 1 that i love, story 2 that i love

non-fiction (specifically about space):

the end of everything by katie mack: my review.

packing for mars by mary roach: i love mary roach so much. a laugh-out-loud read.

poetry for locked tomb fans:

incarnadine by mary szybist: strong gothic catholic vibes. i described this collection on gr as “numinous and gruesome.”

poems by denise levertov, who converted to catholicism in 1984. i prefer her poems about nature, but there's a lot of stuff there for the religion enjoyers.

horror:

i'm absolutely not a horror connoisseur, but the horror book that i think gideon the ninth fans are most likely to enjoy is we have always lived in the castle by shirley jackson. there's a fucked-up sibling relationship, a horrible antagonist who's just some guy, wild twists and turns, and a big old crumbling house.

i also loved the bloody chamber by andrea carter, particularly the bluebeard retelling.

the merry spinster by danny lavery: more dark fairy tale retellings. my review here.

[expressionbean]

updates updates! all great things. i just want to get it out buuut nobody irl is currently available to listen to theo scream time. buckle up friends

first, i'm trying to clean up all my blogs. very excited because i'm getting more time to write now than i have the past month or so.

back to school rush is over at work. that means i don't get scheduled for shifts every single day! i will get scheduled a lot during home football games because i work in a college town in the south USA. football is a big deal here. however, i have days off now, which is really nice.

as for academics: i'm talking with one of my professors later this week about possibly seeking a master's degree in actuarial science or pursuing actuarial science in general - i like the risk management side of my degree program a lot more than i thought and a job that combines risk management with statistics and data analytics... exciting. making grabby hands right now for real.

i'm doing a bunch of stuff with WSIA (wholesale & specialty insurance association) this year as usual, including traveling to conferences if all goes well. i very well may also be traveling (on a scholarship!) to london next year, so now i'm trying to go through passport obtaining hell. it's quite the process to get one these days, but it's really exciting and feels more real than it did last year.

studying for my upcoming exams is going pretty good so far. for the non-risk management/insurance/actuarial science people, i'm trying to get a lot of certificates by january 2024 and then a few more in may 2024. for anyone who does want specifics or is just curious, the next paragraphs go over what i'm actually up to with those! feel free to skip over it lol. i'll put it under a cut so it's not too long!

i have a few exams for the cpcu (chartered property/casualty underwriter designation, very very hard to obtain and holds a LOT of weight in the industry - some companies treat it like a master's degree and those who hold it do indeed sign off with it much like lawyers sign off with JD) coming up. i won't be able to get the full designation by the end of my bachelor's degree, but i will be able to get a couple!

i found out recently that i may not have to take section 520 of it at all because i attend one of a few accredited schools in the country, and my insurance ops class lets me have a waiver for it if i pass with an 80 or higher. i don't think they'll let me have a waiver for 500 since the associated class i made literally a 79, but i'll apply anyway. the ethics portion should be easy and i can schedule that for... whenever. i just have to find a block of time where i can sit and do it.

as for the exam i'm really worried about, i'm taking the alabama department of insurance's property and casualty license exam in december. and normally, i wouldn't be worried because i love p&c, but the studying materials are so awful. they're dense and have no graphs, section breaks, spacing, pictures, nothing!

it's just hundreds of pages of text in small black serif font. i'm going to break out my dinosaur sticky tabs. and my highlighters. and i will hope my ADHD brain gets excited enough about the dinosaurs to let me read the prep manual. my professor for my p&c class is letting me quiz one of the sections on thursday and i've barely opened the book. LMAO.

anyway, thanks for reading if you got this far! i hope y'all have a lovely week.

[refriedrambles]

rough notes

The Membrane family share alot of traits. Like correct me if I'm wrong here. I totally could be I haven't seen most of the show in like a year. (Don't bring comic or movie Dib and Membrane into this I haven't read or seen them. I'll get there. Don't worry) But I feel like Dib and Membrane are basically the same character aside from their interests and the fact that Membrane has charisma.

I think Membrane would be just as unhinged as Dib if say he wanted to be a doctor instead of a scientist. But Membrane makes stuff. He makes useful stuff. The man doesn't need to argue his case his inventions speak for themselves. Even if he may be discounting the contributions of others. It's always "his" inventions. "His" breakthroughs never "ours". He's proven himself. He doesn't need to make a case if he has a new theory, cause his background makes the case for him.

But Dib's interest requires convincing. It requires an arguement. And well, he's bad at agruing his case. He's in the theoratical even if he finds evidence, because it doesn't matter how good the evidences is if he's the one presenting it, it will be him being crazy or a hoax made in a sorry attempt to prove he's not to anyone else. His background fucks any proof he has. His presentation is garbage. And I think he tries to get better at that. Like he realizes it's holding him back so he tries different ways to tell people, but it's not the graphs or blurry photos or having people open their eyes that's the problem there. It's the fact that he talks to people like they're stupid.

Membrane can do that. Dib can not. And he doesn't know that. Why would he when he's lived with his absentee father for most of his life?

He's not having a discussion. He's not open to new ideas. Neither of them are. They're both close minded. (But saying that I think it's important to point out, as far as I'm aware, Membrane never once denies the existence of aliens. He denies the possibly we'd ever encounter them.) And sure Zim looks very weird, but there are some strange medical conditions out there, that most people have never heard of. So why wouldn't it just be a medical condition? It's far more likely, especially with the background mutants we see around the city, that Zim's human then he's alien that's travelled from an ungodly distance to reach earth and just happens to be humanoid/speak a human language/go to skool with his son. I'd might even argue Dib is more close minded then Membrane. We've never see Membrane out right deny something scientific (that I know of). The closest thing would be Dib's transmission in the first episode, but like he's probably heard Dib say the same shit a thousand times. Dib denies every cryptid theory we see presented from the outside. (don't remember Mr. Dwicky episode could be wrong here.)

And that could very likely because of the responces they're gotten. Membrane gets praise for his questions and pursuits. Fueling him to ask more and more. Fueling him to think bigger and better. He's created a power house in his field.

Dib gets rejection and ridicule and the crazy house for his. And thing is it's not unwarrented. He's not just being annoying with his strange interest, his unyielding dedication to his field. He's becoming a danger to himself and others. Love and attention aren't going to stop that. In fact they're just going to fuel it to higher extremes if he's not shut down. But that also carries a danger. Rejecting the paranormal, isn't just rejecting the paranormal it's rejecting him as person. That could make him double down. Make him take bigger risks. And that's why for someone close to him dismissal is the best option. So to some degree he's humored at home. He's allowed his fake science. Gaz never tell him he's wrong, she just tell him he's stupid. They're used to this.

They're both narcisstic. So is Gaz to some extent. Out of the three I'd say she has the strongest desire to interact with any of the others. She wants to spend time with her dad. She respects him. (I don't really have a lot to say about Gaz right now. I'd argue that family definitely seems to mean more to her then either of them. But that also might be headcanony bullshit. Again this is solely the show from my patchy ass memory.)

Membrane and Dib don't. Like they probably do on some level, but I don't think they hold much respect for the others. They don't hold the same interests so what's the point in caring that much. But "their" own things/events are the biggest deals ever. I could see Gaz fighting tooth and nail for annual family dinner night to be a thing for a long time before it actually happened, because "stuff" just keep coming up.

Gaz has given up on Dib. She already has on most of humanity.

I think THAT's the biggest difference between them. Membrane views humanity as something to be coddled and saved from itself, and he can do it because he's obviously so much better then everyone else. Dib views humanity as something to be enlightened and saved from its own stupidity, but its something that's actively rejecting his oh so kindly outstretched hand. Gaz has simply given up. Humanity is doomed and anyone who can't see that is too stupid to be helped. There's no point to do anything else besides drown herself in her games. And why shouldn't she, she seems to have a nack for it?

I wouldn't be suprised if Dib and Membrane shared a competitive streak with Gaz.

[doppelgangerleaverite]

Book Roundup 2022

ok ive never done this before but i read a lot in 2022 so im just gonna make a post abt it! yeehaw 🐎

Favorites:

i read so much good stuff this year but i think my two favorites were Project Hail Mary and Borne.

Project Hail Mary is a great sci fi book. Andy Weir writes very good stuff, and this is even better than The Martian imo. please please if you can go into this book knowing NOTHING about what happens. don't even read the blurb. if you like hard sci fi that has some techno talk but not overwhelmingly much you'll like this just trust me. it's so engaging and if you like reading about an extremely capable person dealing with Circumstances and Situations it's such a satisfying book.

Borne is about two people and a creature (will not be explaining him further) surviving in a post apocalyptic city that is ruled over by a gigantic flying bear. there's mutated things and other humans trying to survive and an evil corporation, etc. Vandermeer is super creative and writes very well imagined settings. i always want to climb inside his books even when they get horrifying, which they do. there's unexpectedly a lot of love in this book amidst the horror and it's quite beautiful.

I'll put the Southern Reach trilogy next, even though it's pictured last, because it's also by Jeff Vandermeer. this trilogy has a ton of captivating speculative ecology, and a biologist main character who is so much like so many biologists I've met. the first book is excellent but i think it really shines as a trilogy because the way the characters and setting unfolds and affects each other is so well done. also whitby for best character i love that little freak so much.

i reread Perdido Street Station followed by the next two in that world (not strictly a trilogy but they all take place in bas-lag and are vaguely chronological), The Scar and Iron Council. PSS is about a fucked up city and biological engineering gone wrong, the Scar is about a fucked up city but what if it was on boats and there's a leviathan, and Iron Council is what if we left the fucked up city to live on a train. they have magic disguised as science, and science disguised as magic, multiple human and non human intelligent races living together (occasionally having sex), anti-fascism, vampires, anti-capitalism, old-timey diving bells, and dirigibles. please read them i wish they had a fandom im dying inside

Reading Stats:

books read: 40

top 3 genres: fantasy, sci-fi, horror

using this to plug storygraph because goodreads is owned by amazon. i find storygraph just as useful and intuitive and they'll transfer all your stuff from goodreads for you 👍 also they made me this cool graph look

ok im gonna tag a couple people but i rly don't know how many of you read so if u wanna share your favorites please do and tag me!! @speculativefictions @crunchity-munchity @egoborderline @astronargles