#griefcore

[rottedtitz]

Grieving someone still alive is the worst thing because I rather mourn the person and love the memories than hate the person and mourn the memories.

[prettycoloursblackthoughts]

one day i hope i can say your name without hearing what could've been echo back to me

In last nights dream i found a chalk outline in my bedroom of all the love i thought you had for me

Leigh Bardo // Raye // Rupi Kaur // Red Queen // Dark Phoenix // 10 Things I Hate About You // Sabrina Carpenter // Labyrinth // Pinterest // Wafia // Courtney Peppernell // Alexandra //

[hellscape-halogens]

WHY ARE ALL OF MY FRIENDS FUCKING DYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

why is it that all of my friends are dying?

it isn't even COVID. they're just... dying.

one in a car wreck.

one from a congenital condition.

and now I have yet to confirm another friend's death.

I think he killed himself.

why are you gone?

why did you have to go?

my mouth is so fucking dry.

my hands don't feel real.

I see my hands on the keyboard, but they don't feel real.

I wish there was a vaccine against killing yourself.

I thought it was hard to handle my other friend's deaths-

Those were accidents.

Just a fluke.

But you... you wanted to go.

You were allowed to be sad.

And I will never, ever know why except I know you suffered with depression.

It is far more painful knowing you did this,

And I can't be mad at you

Because it isn't fair or helpful to be mad at someone who was suffering.

The grief of knowing,

It skipped the knee-jerk cry response completely

And went straight into being completely, totally numb.

I can feel your absence 3,000 miles away.

I couldn't breathe.

I wish you were here.

I miss you.

Please fucking talk to me.

But I know you can't.

I just hope that all the pain I'm feeling now means that you aren't suffering anymore.

You are the third friend in three years.

I hope you're the last to go.

I feel like I might break apart completely if I lose another friend.

I hate the rain.

I hate your genetics.

I hate that you hated yourself so much that you thought the world was better off without you in it.

I want to message you but I know you will never respond.

[ari-shipping-stuff]

shut UP there are 3 VERSIONS OF HER. 3. IN THE MV. FUCKING 3-

[greatandquestionablecontent]

An introduction to narrative styles of the Locked Tomb series, care of me rambling about it on discord

Book 1 is like LMAO BONES. And hot girls 😏 Murder mystery dinner party, with sciency magic but mainly we just understand the swords. Protag has no idea what’s going on but that’s actually very helpful for helping the reader understand what’s going on.

Book 2 is like Psychedelic Celestial Griefcore, with very complex magic Sci Fi that gets elaborated on at length. Dark. We are In Space for most of the book. God is there. Protag has no idea what’s going on because her brain is fucked and it’s… sad? And extra confusing for the reader.

Book 3 is like Sunshine and Rainbows! Too much sunshine for most people actually! All the surrounding characters are living in a shitty urban sci fi dystopia but the narrator is full of love and joy in her city of riots and poverty and sweltering sun. Protag no idea what’s going on because she’s only been alive for 6 months. Love & Light 🥰

[anthyies]

Hi! Can I ask for more info about the necessity of reading Baru books 2 and 3? Because ngl, I really disliked book 1. Not because of the ending. The ending was the only part I liked. I was like, "Something is FINALLY happening in this goddamn book, the promised treacherous behaviour is FINALLY here." I know some people are reluctant to read on because they found the ending of book 1 devastating, but that was not my experience. Sure, it's sad, but it's narratively necessary. So... WILL reading the sequels help, in my case? I see so many people talk about how amazing this series is, comparing it to other series I really like (like Locked Tomb). What is it that makes the sequels worth reading to someone who didn't enjoy the first one?

tl;dr: idk if you’d like them. if you’re invested in baru as a character and her emotional arc try them. Long post under the cut lmfao sorry

without knowing why you disliked the rest of the first book i can’t really tell you whether you’d like the second and third. negative reviews of monster and tyrant revolve around a) “Baru is too emotional and messy and i wanted her to be a calculating mastermind cryptarch plotting” b) on the other hand “Baru is too cold unemotional calm and it’s freaky” (she is just autistic, most people who think this drop out at traitor) c) not connecting with how the cryptarchs are portrayed as a messy group of people / not liking the expanded scope and introduction of the cancrioth (secret cancer cult) / not liking the story of ash sections that focus on a new character, tau indi bosoka. take that as you will i guess? you need to be invested in baru as a character for them to work, i think. and it depends on what you want/expect from the books. if you were bored by the first book well the second and third do have a lot of things happening like the aforementioned cancer cult. basically yeah traitor is just the start of baru, i think monster and tyrant are necessary if you’re going to talk about baru being “grimdark” (imo it’s not), or if you want to figure out what the series wants to say, but if you didn’t like the start of baru’s arc idk if you’ll like the rest of it you know? it really does depend on ur investment in baru + what you want from her; a lot of neg reviews of monster are from people who expected something completely different.

monster and tyrant are special to me because of how baru’s arc is carried out as she deals with the aftermath of traitor - her narration does get wildly more emotional which im obsessed with personally #griefcore #widowpilled, and the emotional catharsis of baru freeing her mind from the influence of empire is incredibly important and personal to me. and i rec that people who have finished traitor and can’t make themselves read the next two because of emotional devastation read them because baru dealing with the emotional devastation helps 👍 it gets worse it gets to the worst place she could possibly be and then it starts to get better. also monster and tyrant have tau in them ❤️‍🔥 and ISCEND. and ulyu xe becomes so important. and aminata gets to be so fucked up and closeted-to-herself-probably-bisexual. they have fucked up gay women in these books 👆

re; locked tomb comparisons I’m not into tlt like that but i don’t really understand them beyond the superficial level of “lesbians who commit atrocities and also there’s an empire and also lobotomies and also dead gf in your head”. the lobotomy and dead gf in head happen in monster and tyrant fwiw (although the context of the lobotomy is so different .. they don’t match up thematically at all lmao. the htn lobotomy is out of love the baru lobotomy is an existentially horrifying threat). baru has a very different prose style and also is a much more focused look at empire like it is about empire and colonization that is what the books are about. whereas at least gtn/htn were not that focusedly about empire. also crucially baru is about homophobia it is very much about homophobia and tlt is queernormative (i prefer baru because she feels truer to my own experiences like when i say she is just like me her journey is personal to me i mean it lmfao. stream this essay)

[spearxwind]

Ouhhh I got tagged in a Put My "On Repeat" Playlist On Shuffle & Post 10 Songs That Come Up tag game by my pal @excaive time for tunes and putting my ass on blast

I've linked yt videos for every song, but some of the vids have flashing so I have also included warnings where necessary!

Onto the list let's goooo:

1.La partida - LUNA KI // wow.... starting off real strong 😭 lunka ki's music is a guilty pleasure of mine, i love dancing to it when im alone in the house. It's rly fun

2. Made to be broken - H.E.R.O ⚠ HUGE FLASHING TW FOR THE VIDEO!!! there are no yt alternates for this T^T here is the spotify link for this song if you are photosensitive ⚠ // It slaps <3 I have three songs from this album in my repeat playlist and theyve been there. Since january.

3. Voices - ALESTI, Loveless ⚠ Mild flashing for this one ⚠ // TALAS SONG TALAS SONG!!!! This tune rips hard and im obsessed and also the album cover is pink and blue god bless

4. Cynical - H.E.R.O // ANOTHER song from these guys. This one slaps hard too. "Show me my heartbreaks, run, repeat my mistakes"

5. Emotion Sickness - said the sky, will anderson, parachute // I love this tune sm and also its a CF song. I'm normal <3

6. Love me like my demons do - FALSET // Swag tune, I love the high pitch lyrics a lot

7. Without me - Dayseeker // Ough Dayseeker my beloved... they are one of my fave bands. Rory is my fave singer I think. All their songs are certified Coping songs but they also slap hard, without me is in my griefcore playlists. This one also starts soft and then kicks in HARD

8. Nigredo - The Sidh // It's techno and bagpipes, what's not to love. Also the title means alchemical decay which I think is dope as fuck. This whole album rules too I recommend it.

9. By the sound - Caskets // Some of the lyrics for this one literally make zero sense but also some other lyrics hit like a fucking truck there's no in between. "When you wake up, don't waste your heart in mourning me" kills me

10. Dreamstate - Dayseeker // Another dayseeker song that destroys me <3 "And maybe when the night comes I'll find you in another world" also kills me

Bonus song!! my current most looped song:

Back to you - ILLENIUM, All time Low // I literally keep listening to this song so much. Like I cant stop listening to it. I would like to make an art... comic thing for it eventually because it has a lot of personal meaning to me but I'm not sure when I will be able to do it. But man its good!! It's good!! All of the lyrics got me fucked up man

Andn tagging uhhh whoever wants to do it honestly. You specifically reading this. Give me your swag tunes 👆🎼NOW! (if you'd like to)

[hotpinkinthenight]

taylor swift is so griefcore

[feline-strange]

#Repost @rah.fookinhell • • • last stop of uk tour was brighton and we went to say hiiiii to @mishkinbird and gary. thanks for your hospitality, beds, delicious food and tea, and the mug and letting us listen to awesome work-in-progress! 🖤 it was all very NICE. (actually really really lovely!) #brighton #uktour #touringmusicians #tiredmusicians #griefcore #byebye ps: everybody go and listen to @birdeatsbaby right now! https://www.instagram.com/p/BxcfApsIOhz/?igshid=17af4vgb1g8nk

[rottedtitz]

My grief is just the love I have for you. I still give you my love for those moments down here without you, the beautiful sunsets, witnessing love in every little thing. You give me that.

Thank you.

[prettycoloursblackthoughts]

I fell in love with a ghost, to Him I raise this toast. If anything was ever real: Show yourself; end the upheaval.

Nilu // Pinterest // Ella Henderson // Sasha Alex Sloan // PrettyColoursBlackThoughts // sweetnightinkale // The Haunting of Bly Manor (2020) //

[greatandquestionablecontent]

“What if chidi anagonye was a gay ghost (dead, constantly having an ethical crisis and feeling the need to teach people ethics despite being the spiritual embodiment of indecision and anxiety) in the style of harrow the ninth (celestial psychotic griefcore in dream land, haunted both literally and metaphorically)”

I want someone to appreciate this description!

Unfortunately the overlap of people who I talk to about my OCs + people who have read Harrow the Ninth is 0, let alone someone who also has seen the Good Place. 😔

(Unless theres a follower on tumblr who fits this bill 👀 In which case hello this post is for you!)

[prettycoloursblackthoughts]

Do I ever cross your mind? Do you ever wake up reaching out for me?

Edna St. Vincent Millay / Sandra Cisneros / Pinterest // Joseph Morris / Grease (1978) //

[prettycoloursblackthoughts]

Whether fondly or bitterly, in the end we realise that grief is probably a bit easier to handle when we have the right people to hold our hands.

No matter how long and how intensely we grieve, in the journey of life, new people keep joining us, and make the old memories a little less painful. They aren't meant to replace the ones we lose, but to assure us that there's more to look forward to. You never really shut the doors on grief, but you realise that when the waves of grief come rushing in, they might hit less hard because you have new pairs of hands holding you up.