fleursdesang

[elibean]

I have a possible job offer so i’m looking at apartments and wtf the fuck

[autobahnmp3]

i barely survived today's shopping trip

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Okay here's one. I really dont think I'm the asshole but my ex sure does.

AITA for refusing to buy my partner a jar of pickles?

So this story has like, a little background and some confounding factors i think but i really could go both ways on whether i was the asshole.

Ill start with both my ex (21nb) and i (23f) had severe mental health issues and were working on treatment when we were together. Theyd been in and out of inpatient stays throughout our three year relationship. Towards the Day of Pickles, i had my first inpatient stay where i got help i desperately needed to keep myself safe. This happened to be about a week after my 23rd birthday, but about two and a half weeks before their 21st birthday.

Anyway, at that time i had just gotten out of the hospital and started a new job at Joanns Fabrics (i outlived that retail fucker and im proud of it). I had been unemployed for the previous year and a half because of the pandemic and so the retail job was really my saving grace to have some sort of income to buy gas and groceries. My parents let me live rent free with them in their basement but i spent a LOT of time essentially squatting at my ex's dorm because my situation with my parents was not great.

Now my ex was also being financially abused by their mom so they had a monthly "allowance" of 200$ (of their own money they made at their on campus job) and no access to their bank statements. So i spent a lot of my own money on gas and groceries for both of us, and anything we wanted to do for fun, like visit the city. Without an income, this was SUPER stressful for me and i spiraled pretty hard with feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness. Supporting two people, even minimal living expenses, on an income of exactly 0$ is the WORST.

Anyway, i got out of the hospital and pretty much immediately went back to picking up as many shifts as i could at work because id been on staff for all of two weeks before hospitalization. Knowing retail, i was probably on the precipice of losing hours or being fired altogether.

My ex wanted me to take time off to celebrate their 21st birthday (they didnt celebrate my birthday that year) and travel to see their family and drink etc. I got scheduled for an inconvenient time. I would have to miss their birthday if i didnt find someone to cover. I managed to switch shifts with another coworker who was nice enough to let me have her morning shift, so i was able to at least travel separately and be a little late to dinner.

The night of their birthday my ex wanted to get drunk and so we went to the liquor store. Now im generally pretty picky about alcohol but if i get anything special i always get enough to share. Mysteriously, no one ever offers to share the expense or pay me back. So with all of 150$ in my account, i purchased enough alcohol for myself and the rest of the party, and a bottle of (cheap af) liquor for myself. I was broke af until my next paycheck and was pretty much planning on giving up meals and staying at home because the commute to work was shorter and meant less gas.

My ex picked out a jar of boozy pickles and asked if i would get it for them for their birthday. I should note that with all the stress i was under i had found a birthday present for them but hadnt actually placed the order (was waiting to get paid). I also didnt lie to them about this and had told them that i hadnt gotten their birthday present yet. They were upset by this and told me they felt like i didnt care about them, to which i snapped and raised my voice a little.

I gave them a bit of a reality check. I told them in no uncertain terms that i was under a lot of stress, from nearly killing myself to being flat broke with little to no help from my family other than a conditional roof over my head, ordering their birthday present wasnt super high on my list of things to do and that i knew what i was going to get them and that i intended to order it as soon as i had the money to do so. After years of the sole attention being focused on keeping them alive, i needed some support and acting like i didnt care completely ignored EVERYTHING i did to keep us both afloat.They cried and played the victim as they tended to do and i was too stressed to do anything but be angry.

So when they asked for the pickles i told them no. I have NOTHING left in my bank account, and anything that was in my account was already allocated for something else.

They told me i was being selfish for buying myself alcohol on THEIR birthday, not even getting them a present, yelling at them, and then refusing to buy the one thing they asked for, especially after i refused to take off work the day before to hang out with them and their family. In front of our friends.

I told them that i was purchasing the alcohol for the whole party, that the present had slipped my mind, and that they were accusing me of not caring about them when i snapped. Then i walked out.

My bff went outside to help me cool down and i told him what was going on and how stressed i was and he said that he agreed with me, it was childish to expect me to pay for everything with no help from anyone and then act like im unreasonable for having to put limits on what i can purchase.

My ex ended up getting so pissed by all of this they broke up with me two days later, saying that their birthday was the final straw for them after I'd been so codependent and relying on them too much to survive.

I think its all ridiculous given all of the stress factors i was dealing with at the time. I feel like we're all entitled to the occasional emotional outburst/bouts of forgetfulness when we're stressed. But my ex seems to think im a selfish asshole. We've been no contact for the last two years so this isnt like a pressing concern or anything but it does make me roll my eyes occasionally.

So tumblr, aita?

(Btw im also much more financially stable now that I'm fully and properly medicated and away from them.)

[somuchfuckingsalt]

I was thinking Steve Harrington Career Thoughts so bear with me while I lay the groundwork.

So in my hometown which had a population of about 30, the two businesses we had were 3-in-1 situations. The Hotel, was a hotel, diner, and bar (after 8pm) and The Store was a grocery store, post office, gas station, and “hair salon”.

The “salon” was one 1 (one) salon chair, a sink, and one of those big blow dry chair things in the back room and a lady would come every Monday and do hair for cheap AF. And when I say cheap I mean cuts were $20 and a colour was $50 plus $5 for every extra tube of colour she had to use and when I got a cut and colour she would just charge me the $50.

Anyway, I know a popular hc for Steve is hair stylist and I was just thinking about Steve just running a salon out of the backroom of one of his friends’ businesses or his house and he barely charges anything or for supplies and whatever the client can afford.

And maybe he lets students or stylists just starting out use the space for free whenever he’s not working so they can have a place to get experience or have the space to work on clients without a lot of overhead. And there’s a collection of small children belonging to overworked parents that will only let Steve touch their hair.

In my head Steve co-owns whatever business he is using the backroom of or he’s married to Rockstar Eddie so he can afford to work for dirt ass cheap.

Community Hair Stylist Steve Harrington

[broodsys]

just queued an interesting post abt the free lunch program (essentially, offering free lunches = families not spending as much = grocery stores lowering prices = benefits for everyone) and it got me thinking abt my HS experience

so, in elementary and middle school we had a free lunch program for low-income students, like me. it was fine, iirc i got the same meals as everyone else, so that was good. the food wasn't Great or anything, but it was food and it was free

then i went to high school.

at first, they had a free "salad bar" thing where you could grab free single-serving fruit cups and the such. and honestly? that's mostly what i ate. bc my family was poor af and while sometimes i could bring food from home, i was sick every goddamn morning and my mom worked overnights and so it was unlikely that either of us could prep my lunch. but then they stopped providing the freebies! at which point i was 100% at the mercy of my friend's giving up part of their lunch for me to eat. and i never asked for it or anything, but they felt bad eating in front of me while i just sat there and tried to not stare. i remember watching ppl throw away their pizza crusts and wanting them, being kinda pissed at them for not eating the food they had access to

i wasnt vegetarian then and they sold little jerky rounds for 25c each and i would frequently get one or two of those. but an actual lunch? you're looking at like $5 and that was a rare, major treat for me. sometimes i'd bring a box of cheezits or smth from home and have that as my lunch. when i got a boyfriend we were in the same economic boat, so usually we'd share whatever we could bring. it was exhausting and i felt so guilty. i think for a while i just stopped coming to lunch and went to the library during the lunch period instead

no breakfast bc i was sick and my mom was sleeping. no lunch bc i was too sick to prep it and my mom was at work. usually not eating until i got home. i learned early on that one of the best things to consume was actually soda, bc the carbonation made you feel full and it was cheap. oh, and the school could fine kids who went to the nearby grocery outlet during school hours, even if it was lunchtime, so i couldn't buy myself cheaper food there. it was all so fucked

haven't thought much abt it for years, but yeah, i went hungry a lot at school. it was hard.

[mickgaydolenz]

so I might've accidentally sent this already but whatever I don't trust electronics so I'm doing it again

I was living in a house with a little boy and a teenage boy who was probably just a little older than I was, but he was abusive AF like he was constantly hitting the little boy and me??? ALL THE TIME and eventually when he was about to hit me again the little boy went "stop! whats the difference between hitting and beating someone!" and then the guy grabbed the boy by his collar and was like "it takes a lot longer to beat someone than to hurt someone" because he had just came into the room yelling about how he was gonna beat me to a pulp, then when he let go of the little boy I grabbed his hand and ran with him to the bathroom and locked ourselves in there to stay away from the guy, then a few hours later we emerged and went to the bedroom and got dressed, I grabbed my coin purse, I had two actually, one full of quarters and the other just coins, and I took the boy outside but the guy found us and began yelling and chasing us, and I wanted to hold the little boys hand while we ran but we ran soooooo slow when we held hands! so I just told him to stay next to me, and eventually we lost the guy and the little boy told me he was hungry, so we found a grocery store and with the money I had I looked for food for him, and a sweet older lady came over and said that the cheap food was in the back and stuff, then after I bought the boy something to eat and we went outside to find a place to hid the guy pulled up and I finally realized who this was, IT WAS HENRY BOWERS FROM THE IT MOVIE???? it was him he was the guy we were living with and he pulled up in a car and angrily and grabbed me by the hair when I tried to run away with the boy again and he grabbed the kid by the ear and threw us in the trunk and locked it, then I woke up

raya…….what the fuck……raya!?!?!?! oh my god you are just having a bad time in this one fr 😩. oof the fact that in the end you couldn’t even get away 🥶. i did, however, lose my fucking mind when the big reveal was the abusive asshole was henry fucking bowers from IT 😂

[daisybell17]

day 38: mall time!

super chill day today!! I actually went shopping and took my time at the mall which honestly was really relaxing, i needed that. then i got this really cute top and donated at the end of my purchase, OH and there was this really really cute blue top but i didnt get it bc tbh i don’t see myself wearing it till summer time,

anyways, i was looking for shorts and i saw this one store that looked really nice and i was about to get a pair of shorts when i saw the price and…DID I WALK INTO A DESIGNER BRAND?? WHAT SHORTS ARE $80??? So i left asap and then bought groceries WHICH WERE SO CHEAP I WAS ACTUALLY BLOWN AWAY, then walked a bit more but my groceries were heavy af so i went home, honestly i’d go back to that mall sometime next week just to chill but uni is not starting to push back pressure on me its crazy and tbh im slowly feeling that fear creep in

so ok i got groceries right? ONE CABBAGE IS HUGE AF?? LIKE I NEEDED TO STORE IT IN SEVERAL CONTAINERS so my kitchen looks like a cabbage patch LMAO (ok i might post a fluff fic hehe)

[theninjasanctuary]

Field notes from the trip, as written on the return flight:

A night at 4-star Citadines aparthotel at Les Halles cost very nearly the same as the one in cheapo Adagio Access near Bastille. The apartment at Citadines was easily twice as big, bigger than most Airbnbs I’ve rented, and well equipped (bath – a smallish one, but still; a balcony overlooking Fontaine des Innocents + another window with a view of the roofs of the Forum, dishwasher, kettle, toaster, microwave/grill and induction stovetop, would have been easy to cook full meals there), and if I had the budget for it/got someone else to pay for it, I’d stay there again. That being said, the floor was deathly cold; getting the shivers just thinking about it. And it didn’t have a dining table as such, but a generous desk and another fold-out chair in the hallway wardrobe (one of the two). No washer, but I’m thinking they probably have an in-house laundrette? The big room was a bit too dark at night, just wall sconces and a small table lamp on the desk, definitely not ideal for reading an actual book in bed. The bathroom vanity looked cheap to begin with and pretty tired, too, not luxurious.

The other 2 hotels were fine too, the room in Adagio Access had had a kitchen upgrade; the B&B Hotel thing had a tiny room, sparsely, if not stingily equipped (no soap by the sink; just a wall-mounted shower gel in the shower? No hand towels, just a bath towel per person?), but it was fresh-looking, clean and functional, and I slept like a log.

I had some terrible food (starving late one night and out of options, we ate at a Buffalo Grill, even the fries were bad) and some good too; found a restaurant called Le Lieu Dit that I would be happy to visit again. Ate on the go a lot, and I’m fed up with sandwichs and pastries for a while, I think. Mostly, I’m glad that my knees held up, and I didn’t get a cold. Can’t say the same for the boyf, and I might yet get what he’s got, but oh well.

Travelling part was uneventful, managed to not get caught up in strikes and thanks to the hotel staff, got a taxi to the train station during a high-demand morning station rush on Sunday. However, Google Maps is not great for directions in Paris. It routinely underestimated travel times, suggested getting off the bus in the wrong place, and we would have missed our TGV if it wasn’t for helpful bystanders.

Visited the Paris embassy on business (have been to London, Berlin, Brussels and Paris now, and also have had dinner in a New York sushi restaurant with the consul stationed there; this was never a goal in itself, it has just happened).

Didn’t shop much, a bit of skincare repurchases (Furterer shampoo, Biotherm SOS spray, Cattier hand cream, etc.), and a Uniqlo ULD collarless jacket, because it looked right on my most basic of asses. Ofc it is soft pink, too, because that too tends to look right on me. The plan is to wear it to the office under looser and thinner wool coats, and it’ll help putting up with the office temperature that’s been lowered as a cost-saving measure. Got an impressive amount of tea, too, Chinese and Taiwanese imports from Tang Frères and Twinings teabags in varieties probably intended for the French market, as I haven’t seen them anywhere else. Tuiles d’amandes seem to be having a moment, stocked up on those and some Bonne Maman madeleines and whatnot too.

As for souvenirs, got some cute af Ghibli chopsticks. Haven’t bought sushi in a while for reasons of being broke though. Have to pay the bills and see where I’m at. Anyway, the plan for tomorrow is to stay at home, maybe a quick run for groceries, and pet the cat. He has coped ok without us, but appears to be waiting for someone (he’s very alert to door-opening sounds, but we share a hallway door with the neighbours, so there’s a lot of disappointment).

[just-come-baek]

one of a kind

Pairing: Na Jaemin x female!reader

Themes: fluff | comedy | slight angst | smut | strangers to lovers!au

Word count: 12.3k

Summary: Your first encounter with Jaemin at the local convenience store goes terribly wrong. Unfortunately, this ill-fated meeting seems to be the highlight of your day because later on you get dumped via a text messange and Jaemin catches his girlfriend in bed with another man. Good thing, you help one another cope with your heartaches.

Warnings: alcohol consumption | infidelity | poor choices | poor coping mechanism | cursing | self-indulgent fluff but what’s new | threats | ill-wishing | cringe | protected sex | daddy/baby girl dynamics (I got carried away with this one, oops) | oral both parties receiving | handjob both parties receiving | spanking | praising | dick riding | I think that’s all but coud always be mistaken

A/N expect to see more jaemin fics this week as I am whipped af

[05:34 P.M.]

You were in a hurry.

Lucas was about to come to your place in about thirty minutes now, and you were nowhere done preparing the first-anniversary dinner you had decided to surprise him with. While the food was getting ready in the oven, you still had to dress up and make a run to the local grocery shop for some last-minute items that had slipped your mind yesterday.

Quickly, you took off your apron and put on a pair of old trainers. You looked like a mess, but you couldn’t afford to lose another minute, so you put on a cap on your head, hoping not to run into any familiar faces.

As soon as the doors slid open, you grabbed a basket and bolted to a modest-looking wine section. The shop didn’t offer a vast wine selection to choose from, but thankfully, one specific brand of a cheap semi-sweet rosé kind of grew on you.

You marched to aisle 13, stretching your arm to swiftly pick up the last bottle. No wonder there was only one bottle left on the shelf – it was Friday, and demand for alcohol was high.

Just when you were about to wrap your fingers around the slim bottle, you held your hand in the air, staring at a man who picked it up a few seconds before you.

“Excuse me,” you cleared your throat, gently patting him on his shoulder, obtaining his attention. With a confused look upon his face, the man turned around, raising an eyebrow. “Hi, there! I was wondering if you’d be kind enough to let me have this wine. You see… it’s my favorite, and I’m making an anniversary dinner for my boyfriend. And I would really appreciate it if you helped me make it absolutely perfect,” you politely explained in a high-pitched voice, giving the man probably too many details than necessary.

In all honesty, he looked awfully undecided. The man must’ve been weighing his options, picking up your drink of choice only to inspect the label and ingredients. He would probably hand you over that wine without having to listen to your back story.

“No,” he shortly replied, sending you a fake empathetic smile before he put the bottle inside his basket. Asshole, you thought as you tapped his shoulder again, ready to keep fighting for the wine. After all, you always have it with Lucas when there’s an occasion to celebrate.

“Bu–

“Listen up, lady. My girlfriend only drinks rosé, and that’s the only one left. If you really want to buy this one, ask the shop assistant if they have some on the back because I am not giving you this one,” he rudely spoke, taking a cautious step back as if he expected you to try taking the wine out of his basket by force.

“I–

“It’s not my problem. Have a nice day,” he added as he turned around and walked away.

You didn’t have time to go elsewhere for that specific wine brand. With a tired sigh, you decided to look around, searching for a different type of beverage. Your eyes scanned the shelves, analyzing the most suitable drink for tonight’s celebration.

Ultimately, you decided to buy a bottle of peach-flavored sparkling wine. It was your first anniversary – it seemed appropriate to celebrate it with delicious bubbles.

As soon as you put the bottle in the shopping basket, you felt your phone vibrate. Quickly, you answered the call. It was your friend, Renjun. He had some sort of sixth sense when it came to you – Renjun could always predict when you were in need.

“How are you? Is everything going according to your plan?” Renjun inquired curiously as if he already didn’t suspect everything went wrong.

“Almost,” you sighed, ready to tell Renjun what had happened a while ago at the wine section.

“Yikes,” Renjun replied, trying to comfort you after your misfortunate encounter with the rude stranger. “How is the food? Did you follow the recipe exactly how I told you to?”

“Almost, I might’ve added some more cayenne pepper, but that’s fine. Lucas likes it spicy,” you explained as you marched around the store, picking all the other items from the shipping list.

“If you fuck it up, don’t go telling people it was my recipe. I have a reputation,” Renjun warned, and you rolled your eyes, finding his reaction amusing. Lucas wasn’t a fastidious eater; there was no way he wouldn’t enjoy it. “What are you going to wear tonight?”

“I am not sure… I was thinking about that one red dress you helped me pick the other day,” you started, already knowing how much Lucas was going to enjoy that look. It was hugging your body perfectly, accentuating your best features. According to Renjun, you looked like a sex bomb, and you decided to trust him this time.

“You’re spoiling him,” Renjun spoke matter-of-factly, and you hummed in agreement. It would be a big fat lie if you said you didn’t like spoiling Lucas. “Anyway, Sicheng and I made a bet on what Lucas is going to eat first: you or the food. Let me know if I won.”

At first, you wanted to scold your friends for making that bet, but a few seconds later, you decided not to. After all, you were sure you would also take your chances if any of whom was in a similar situation.

“I’ll let you know,” you said as you reached your final stop. It was beyond you how, on Earth, you had forgotten to buy condoms yesterday, but you were in front of the shelf right now to correct your error. “Tell Sicheng I am planning on wearing that see-through lace body so he can raise the stakes.”

“That’s not fair, you can’t–

You ignored Renjun’s ramblings when you saw that asshole approach your aisle. Of course, you would meet him here again. He was planning something with his significant other. It would be such a shame if the shop completely ran out of condoms just when he was about to pick up some.

Quickly, before he managed to notice you, you swiped your arm across the shelf, letting all packages of condoms fall into your shopping basket. It’s going to be a little awkward at the checkout, but the man had been mean to you, and you wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine.

“We meet again,” he dryly said as he finally looked up and saw you standing in front of an empty shelf. “No way, it’s impossible,” he added in irritation as he realized the shop was out of condoms. Then, he peeked into your basket, and everything became crystal clear. “So you’re not just mean; you’re also a hoarder.”

“Me? A hoarder?” You wheezed, trying to keep it together. You had exchanged a few sentences with him, yet it was more than enough to make your blood boil. He was getting under your skin, and you wished you never had to see him again. “My boyfriend is just horny all the time. But don’t worry, you can always ask the shop assistant if they have more on the back,” you added with a polite smile before you made your way to the cash register.

You could swear you heard him call you a bitch, but you decided to pretend you didn’t catch that. You were content with the way you left him empty-handed after your mic drop.

“Hi, Taeil,” you greeted the cashier before you emptied your basket on the checkout counter. Just as you had expected, Taeil gave you the look when he began scanning all of the condom boxes. “Do I wanna know?”

“Let’s call it karma,” you said, not in the mood to tell this story again. Besides, this rude man could approach the cash register any moment, and you really wanted Taeil to check out your groceries so you could come back home. You had food in your oven, and you didn’t want to burn the house down.

“Your boyfriend must’ve saved a country in his past life,” Taeil jested, and you politely laughed. Unfortunately, that mean stranger approached the cash register before you managed to leave.

“Excuse me? Do you have condoms on the back? I wanted to buy some, but a psychotic witch threw all of them into her basket and flew away on her broomstick,” the asshole asked Taeil, and you squeezed your fists in irritation. How could one spit venom but sound sweet at the same time? It was absurd.

“Who are you calling psychotic?” You asked angrily, resting your hand on your hip.

Enough was enough.

“You know each other?” Taeil asked in confusion, scratching his temple, trying to comprehend this situation. It was a peaceful neighborhood, such quarrels rarely occurred, and Taeil regretted he didn’t have popcorn to munch on when watching this drama unfold.

Your blood was boiling in your veins. You needed to come back home soon unless you wanted Taeil to witness you bite this asshole’s head off.

“God, no!” You both denied Taeil’s accusations in unison. No, you didn’t know him, and you were pretty sure you weren’t missing out on anything special.

Taeil looked at you and the man and decided not to get involved.

He must’ve concluded it was for the better, and you had to admit, it was really smart of him.

“Thank you so much! See you around,” you bid farewell to Taeil when he handed you the receipt. “Have a nice day,” you added before you grabbed your shopping bag leaving the store, wishing to never cross paths with that rude asshole.

 [06:21 P.M.]

It wasn’t supposed to take this long.

Jaemin already wasted too much time arguing with you in the grocery shop, and right now, everything else seemed to go the wrong way. Having bought condoms at the drug store, he made his way to his girlfriend’s favorite Italian restaurant to pick up the delivery.

Today, Jaemin planned a surprise. Due to overload at work, he and his girlfriend didn’t have much time to romance, and today’s surprise date was supposed to make it all up. At first, they would have some dinner and wine, then he’d take her for a romantic walk, and later, at the very end, they would roll in the sheets till morning.

“We’re having lots of orders right now,” the waitress said, offering Jaemin an apologetic smile. “Average waiting time is forty minutes,” she added, and Jaemin sighed. He didn’t have a plan B, so he just had to suck it up and wait for the food to be ready.

“It’s fine. I’ll wait,” he replied, reaching for his wallet. “I’ll take two spinach and ricotta ravioli servings to go,” Jaemin ordered as he took his debit card out.

Having sat down at a small table near the entrance, Jaemin pulled out his phone, browsing through his social media feed. He checked his emails, liked his friends’ posts, and even found an interesting recipe to try at home.

Preparing food was taking lots of time, and Jaemin’s patience was running thin. He really missed his girlfriend, and he just couldn’t wait to finally see her.

“Here’s your food,” the waitress approached him and handed him a paper bag exactly forty-seven minutes after he had placed his order. “Bon appetite,” she added, and Jaemin thanked her before he bolted out of the restaurant.

There were some bumps on the road tonight, but finally, everything seemed that he got back on the right track. The food smelled delicious, and everything else was already prepared.

In excitement, Jaemin marched to his girlfriend’s apartment. He had the route memorized by heart, and he was only two blocks away.

Once Jaemin approached the doors with number 13 stuck to it, he stopped in his tracks to take a breath and pull out the keys, which he had been given a few months prior. Quickly, he opened the doors and walked inside, cocking up his eyebrow when he heard moans.

He was puzzled, but he trusted his girlfriend and opted not to jump to conclusions.

Then, it struck him.

“Are you watching porn without me again?” Jaemin hollered, a mischievous smirk dancing across his face. Apparently, they would have to fuck first and eat later.

Absolutely ecstatic, Jaemin marched to the bedroom only to find her girlfriend jumping someone’s dick as if her life depended on it. At first, he couldn’t believe it. However, when he heard his girlfriend moan somebody else’s name, it finally downed on him.

The worst thing about it was probably the fact that they were so invested in their activities they didn’t even notice Jaemin when he entered the room. She bounced on his dude’s dick with so much vigor as if it was keeping her alive, and it made Jaemin blinded with wrath.

Unable to control his emotions, Jaemin looked at the wine bottle in his hands and hurled it across the room, having no idea what it smashed against. It could’ve been either the wall or the guy’s head, but at this point, he did not care.

Jaemin just wanted to leave.

Once the pair finally acknowledged Jaemin’s presence, the room grew awfully silent.

“Jaemin,” she whispered his name, unsure what else she could say to defend herself. Unfortunately, no such words existed that she could use to put Jaemin’s heart back together. The damage was done, and no matter how much Jaemin wished to unsee things, he couldn’t.

Without saying another word, Jaemin turned around and marched out of the apartment, shutting the doors close with a loud thud.

Jaemin was furious; he needed to calm down, but he would rather do that in solitude. Right now, he felt nauseous when he looked his girlfriend in the eyes. Maybe in a few days, he would quiet down enough to have her explain her infidelity.

Any other guy would beat the guy up. Luckily for that guy, Jaemin wasn’t a violent person – he would never start a fight, even under these circumstances. Maybe he felt an urge to ball his fists and smash the guy’s face, but he suppressed it.

Jaemin would manage his anger on his own and then try to move on, knowing none of it was his fault. Perhaps he wasn’t always at her disposal, but when he was, he made sure to give one hundred perfect into anything he was doing.

One thing was sure – Jaemin tried his best for this relationship to work, and the fact that it wasn’t ideal didn’t justify what he caught her doing.

 [07:53 P.M.]

Lucas was getting late, but you didn’t even notice how late he was. Though he should’ve arrived almost two hours ago, you noticed just now. You completely lost track of time when you were dressing up for tonight.

Once you realized that everything was ready and Lucas wasn’t there, you whipped your phone and dialed him a couple of times. Each call was sent to a voicemail, so you did what any reasonable adult would do in this situation – you spammed him with text messages.

To Xiuxi 💖 | 19:58 | where are you?

To Xiuxi 💖 | 19:58 | you were supposed to be here two hours ago!

To Xiuxi 💖 | 19:58 | is everything okay?

To Xiuxi 💖 | 19:59 | why aren’t you picking up your phone???

To Xiuxi 💖 | 19:59 | Lucas! Pick up!!!

To Xiuxi 💖 | 19:59 | I am worried

To Xiuxi 💖 | 19:59 | Please call me back

To Xiuxi 💖 | 19:59 | Are you alright?

To Xiuxi 💖 | 19:59 | So you’re reading my messages…

To Xiuxi 💖 | 20:00 | Where are you???  

To Xiuxi 💖 | 20:00 | Why weren’t you picking up???

To Xiuxi 💖 | 20:00 | Answer me. It’s not cool

To My Baby 🌟 | 20:03 | Baby...

To My Baby 🌟 | 20:03 | I think we should break up

To My Baby 🌟 | 20:04 | I’ll get my stuff on Monday when you’ll be at work

You stared at Lucas’ messages, reading them over and over again. You couldn’t believe he actually wrote them. You couldn’t comprehend how cowardly Lucas was. However, what hurt you the most was probably the fact he had the audacity to do it over a freaking text message!

What a freakin’ loser!

Knowing Lucas was still using his phone, you dialed his number. Unfortunately, he chose to dodge you, sending your call immediately to a voice mail.

To Xiuxi 💖 | 20:08 | COWARD

To Xiuxi 💖 | 20:08 | pick up your damn phone!!!

To Xiuxi 💖 | 20:08 | fine.

To Xiuxi 💖 | 20:08 | Consider your shit burnt.

You texted before you threw your phone onto the couch. You realized there was no point in reaching Lucas right now. He didn’t want to talk to you. He wouldn’t pick up his phone even if you begged him to.

Driven by anger, you picked up a photo frame of you and Lucas and hurled it into the sink. The glass broke into a dozen pieces, yet it didn’t bring you solace. Your wound was still fresh, and one act of violence wasn’t going to make the pain go away.

“Fuck you, Lucas,” you whispered as you took the photo out of the sink and put it into a trash bin – exactly where he belonged.

Break-ups hurt like a bitch, but this time around, delivery pained you more than the break-up itself. Though you suspected Lucas wasn’t the love of your life, it still brought you anguish. Maybe if you saw it coming, it would’ve been easier to process.

Right now, you were too angry to cry over him. Lucas was the one who hurt you, and you refused to shed a tear because of him.

You were supposed to have a magical night, and you weren’t going to let Lucas ruin your plans. You wanted to have fun with him, but since he had decided to put an end to your relationship, everything seemed you had to have a blast solo.

In haste, you turned off the oven, grabbed your wine bottle, and left your apartment. That’s not something you had planned, but you were great at improvising. It was a Friday night, after all – you had hundreds of options to choose from.

 [09:37 P.M.]

Jaemin decided to walk his anger off. Right now, he was strolling alongside the riverside. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem to help. He walked and walked, yet anger didn’t seem to leave his side. It didn’t discourage him from trying, though. Maybe he was just a mile away from reaching internal peace. Perhaps, he just needed a few more steps to calm down.

It would’ve been easier to erase this terrible image in his mind of his girlfriend fucking some other man if he didn’t see so many happy couples passing him by every few seconds. Really, it was driving him insane. Jaemin was aware that other people are happy in their blooming relationships – he really didn’t have to be reminded of that all the time.

Then he saw or rather heard something out of the ordinary.

Amongst parading couples, Jaemin saw a woman lingering dangerously on the edge of the riverbank. She was wearing a beautiful red dress, but it didn’t distract him. When Jaemin saw her wobble in her high heels, he became anxious. She had a wine bottle in her hands – she was one unfortunate step away from tragedy.

“Watch out,” Jaemin hollered, running up to the girl, wanting to pull her away from the edge. She was visibly drunk; it was just a matter of time until she’d trip over her feet and fall into the water. “Stay away from the edge,” he yelled but got no reaction from the girl.

Quickly, Jaemin ran up to her and pulled her away. The girl mumbled something incoherent when she was being hauled, but Jaemin chose her safety over good manners.

“Hey, what the hell do you think you’re doing?!” You yelled, trying to wriggle out of the stranger’s grip. “Let me go! I was doing something,” you carried on, leaning over to bite his arm, hoping he would release you.

“Yeah, you were trying to throw yourself off the edge,” Jaemin grumbled, letting go of your hand once you two were far enough from the riverbank. “That was extremely irresponsible! You might’ve fallen and killed yourself.”

“I wasn’t going to throw myself off the edge,” you argued back, stubbornly folding your arms across your chest as if you were trying to make a point. “If anything, I would push my ex off. Fuck him,” you added, smiling at the thought alone.

Lucas was a professional lifeguard. Nothing bad would happen to him if you actually pushed him into the water, but it still sparked joy when you thought of actually doing so. It’d most definitely bring you an immeasurable amount of pleasure.

“Oh, that’s you. You’re that jerk from the grocery shop!” You exclaimed as soon as you recognized the man from earlier.

“That jerk has a name,” he reminded you, rolling his eyes at you. “I’m Jaemin, and if someone’s a jerk, then it’d have to be you,” he concluded, and you sighed, having no energy left to start another argument.

“Whatever,” you whispered with a shrug. “You can go now. I was pretty busy.”

“Yeah, I saw how busy you were…” Jaemin deadpanned, staring at you, seizing you up.

“Listen, Jaeman.”

“Jaemin,” he corrected you, but you only offered him an eye roll.

“Whatever. I had a pretty shitty day. Don’t make it even worse,” you said before you spun on your heel, ready to leave.

“I can bet mine was shittier,” Jaemin spoke, and you stopped in your tracks, craning your neck to look at him. Admittedly, he looked pretty beat up. Perhaps, you started off on the wrong foot, but everybody deserves a second chance.

“My boyfriend broke up with me on our first anniversary over a text message,” you announced before you swung the wine bottle, taking a large gulp. You knew you were oversharing, but chances of running into Jaemin again were slim. You could throw the weight off your shoulders, vent to your heart extent, and never see him again.

In all honesty, it seemed like a perfect plan to you.

“I walked on my girlfriend riding some dude’s dick when I was trying to surprise her with wine and her favorite takeout,” Jaemin confessed. You had to admit that he was way better at managing his emotions than you. If you experienced anything slightly similar, you’d go full psycho mode.

“Well… holy shit. You won,” you replied in your serious tone, only to giggle out of nowhere. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to do that,” you apologized quickly, trying to explain your bizarre reaction. “Here have some. You obviously need it,” you offered him a sip, and Jaemin gladly took it. Though he wasn’t a big fan of alcohol, he had a valid reason to get shitfaced drunk.

“It’s not a competition, but I think I am winning,” he admitted, and you gave him a comforting pat on the back. “I waited almost an hour for these,” Jaemin grumbled as he threw a plastic bag on the bench.

“Do you mind if I have some?” You inquired when you leaned over, noticing Styrofoam food containers inside the bag. “I’m starving, and it smells delicious.”

“Help yourself. I completely lost my appetite,” Jaemin said, giving you the green light to munch on his food. Impatiently, you took one container out of the plastic bag and put it on your thighs before opening it. Jaemin sat down on the bench beside you, greedily drinking your wine. “It tastes bad,” he hiccupped as he put an empty bottle on the bench next to him.

“Well… somebody has already bought the wine which tastes good, so I had to improvise,” you reminded him, stuffing your mouth with ravioli. “Wine may be pretty bad, but these are delicious, even though they’re pretty cold now,” you added, speaking with your mouth full. “You really should have some. Otherwise, I may eat all of them.”

“Yeah, I am not hun–

Jaemin opened his mouth to answer you, but you were fast, quickly shutting him up with a ravioli. Though he didn’t appreciate it, he grumpily chewed it all up.

“You’re gonna thank me later,” you proudly spoke before you stuffed another dumpling into your mouth. “One should never drink alcohol on an empty stomach.”

“If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t even be drinking tonight,” Jaemin said when he took a deep breath and leaned back on the bench, staring at the sky in thought. “Actually, I just could’ve given you that wine earlier.”

“It’s okay,” you muttered, shrugging.

“We need more,” Jaemin announced, and you looked at him.

You didn’t expect to hear that. Not from Jaemin anyway. You both just got dumped, and you considered whether you should let him join you on your night escapade or not. Though neither of you got over the break-ups, you could tell he still didn’t begin grieving. You two could have a blast of the night and then go your separate ways to properly process your heartaches.

“Let’s go,” you ordered as you stood up and threw an empty container into the trash bin. “We’re gonna have so much fun tonight. Our exes are gonna regret breaking up with us.”

“Will you tell me your name, at least?”

“Buy me a drink first.”

 [10:22 P.M.]

“I’d like some coffee,” Jaemin said when the two of you miraculously found empty seats at the bar. “I think I’ll order coffee,” he added after scanning through the menu.

“You’re not ordering coffee,” you announced as you tore the menu out of his hands. Obviously, Jaemin was less experienced than you in that area. You’d gladly guide him through the night of alcohol and bad decisions. “We should do shots.”

“I don’t really like the taste of alcohol,” Jaemin argued, and you rolled your eyes.

“No one does,” you said matter-of-factly, heaving a sigh. “We’re not drinking alcohol because we like how it tastes. We’re drinking alcohol because we like how it makes us feel, and right now, we both obviously need to take the edge off.”

“So… what do you propose?”

“Vodka shots,” you offered, and though Jaemin wasn’t particularly fond of your proposition, he didn’t oppose it. Yes, Jaemin preferred cocktails where alcohol was barely perceptible, but right now, he needed to take the edge off fast, and shots seemed to do to the job just fine.

You and Jaemin had a little argument over which flavors of vodka shots you ought to get, but then you concluded you should get all of them. You both had a pretty rough day, after all. Maybe you and Jaemin would get a killer hangover in the morning, but in all honesty, you knew it wasn’t going to be the worst thing to go through tomorrow.

“Go order them,” you told Jaemin, and he unwillingly stood up.

The moment he returned to your table with a tray of shots, you smiled, excited to get shit-faced drunk.

“Should we toast?”

“I don’t toast with people I don’t know,” Jaemin pointed out, and you properly introduced yourself, stretching your arm out, giving him a firm handshake.

“To the best night of our lives,” you cheered before raising your shot glass.

Jaemin winced when the alcohol burned his throat, and you giggled, finding it adorable.

The night went on, and you and Jaemin kept talking about everything but your messed-up relationships. Rather quickly, you also got drunk. One moment, you’re downing shots, but a few minutes later, you’re getting ready for karaoke.

“I am a terrible singer, so once the song is over, we gotta bolt,” you warned Jaemin the moment you handed him the other microphone. You couldn’t remember whose idea it was to perform, but you’re about to do it now, and there was no backing out.

Your and Jaemin’s performance was all around cringeworthy. You chose to perform a duet song from the most popular teenage musicals of the last decade – High School Musical. What’s more, you were so drunk, neither of you could properly read the lyrics. Thankfully, no one booed you out, though you could swear that some people in the audience must’ve considered it.

Maybe you had an okay stage presence, but except for that, it was really, really bad. At some point, sometime after the first chorus, you decided to fuck it up even further, shouting at the top of your lungs both Troy’s and Gabriella’s parts.

Without a shred of doubt, it was the longest 3 minutes and 30 seconds of your lives.

“Do you think I was out of tune?”

“What? No! Of course, not,” Jaemin quickly said, but you could tell he was trying to be polite. You doubted you managed to hit any note properly, but you chose not to question it further. Though it was false, you were content with Jaemin’s answer.

“Let’s get the hell out of here before the angry crowd kicks us out,” you proposed, handing the microphones to the DJ. Quickly, you grabbed Jaemin’s hand and yanked him outside, feeling the chill breeze hit your face. The pub was really stuffy, and now when you finally exited the establishment, you could take a deep breath.

 [11:15 P.M.]

“I really want to drive,” you said when a crazy idea popped up in your mind. You and Jaemin were strolling down the street without any purpose, and you assumed it was still too early to call it a night. Tonight, you really got out of your comfort zone, and you wanted to try out even more things that you had never pushed yourself to try.

“You’re not driving anywhere. Not after all the shots we’ve drunk,” Jaemin replied, and you rolled your eyes. It was evident Jaemin wasn’t your close acquaintance. If he was your good friend, he would understand what you meant. Maybe, in the future…

“Not like that!” You argued, shaking your head, determined to explain what you were getting at. “I don’t want to drive a car; that’s dangerous. I meant bumper cars.”

“Oh,” Jaemin whispered, finally making some sense out of your drunken speech.

“Where has your enthusiasm gone? Don’t you want to drive over some children?” You questioned, poking his side with your forefingers.

“It’s past bedtime,” Jaemin reasoned, and you groaned.

“There’s a fair not that far away from here. I bet there are still some children we could drive over,” you announced before you pulled Jaemin to the side. You were impatient to strap the seatbelt across your body and go on a risk-free, completely safe form of entertainment.

Jaemin was mumbling something under his breath, but since he didn’t put his heart to it, you concluded he was protesting for the sake of protesting, and not because he genuinely didn’t want to go. He just needed a little push to unleash the fun person he was on the inside.

Once you found the bumper cars station, you bought a few tickets, excited to get into this tiny car and cause havoc. Though it was already late, some children were still around, spending their parents’ money on various rides.

“I really want the pink one,” you whispered to Jaemin as you two waited in the queue for your turn. “Is it just me, or are there some bloodstains on the bumper?”

“It’s just you,” Jaemin deadpanned, taking a closer look at one of the two pink vehicles.

“Don’t forget to fasten your seatbelts. I am not going to go easy on you,” you warned, and Jaemin sighed, wondering how, on Earth, he got sucked into this.

“I am so scared. I am shaking, brrrrr…” Jaemin mocked, and you bit your bottom lip, determined to prove how dangerous the bumper car rides could get.

Soon enough, it was finally your turn. Once everyone left the metal platform, the new batch of drivers could choose their vehicles. Quickly, you ran to a pink one. You fastened your seatbelts and turned around to find Jaemin. In the sea of children, you located him in a yellow vehicle on the other side of the platform.

“Bring it!” You hollered at Jaemin, bringing lots of attention to the two of you. Well… attention as well as disapproving looks from children’s parents. Jaemin smiled out of embarrassment, trying to hide his face with his hands.

Once it was safe to begin the ride, the machine operator turned on the power, letting everyone go absolutely crazy.

At first, you drove across the platform, smashing into Jaemin’s tiny vehicle. In response, he quickly turned his car around and gave you a taste of your own medicine.

Not tooting your own horn, but it was a great idea to try bumper cars. Both you and Jaemin had lots of fun. You were giggling all the time, the fact that you both got your hearts broken was on the back of your minds. You were caught in the heat of the moment instead of worrying what had gone wrong on in your love lives. And most importantly, it was an incredible way to let out you repressed anger.

After a couple of rides, you actually felt better. It really helped you to calm down – now the number of thoughts of murdering Lucas in his sleep significantly decreased. Now, you were thinking of him stepping onto a Lego block or having the hairdresser trim his bangs too short.

And that was what you would call progress™.

“That was great,” Jaemin said in excitement, displaying his beautiful grin. He was genuinely happy, and it made you proud that you helped him feel better after the break-up.

“What should we do now?” You inquired, thinking of ways to make the night even more memorable. It was most definitely one of the best nights of your life, and it surprised you that you spent it with a complete stranger.

“I don’t know. You’re the one with ideas,” Jaemin answered with a shrug, smiling at you. “What would you do if you caught your boyfriend drilling some random chick?” Jaemin asked, but there was no sadness to his statement. He must’ve been too high on endorphins to still feel sorrow over stuff he had witnessed.

“I don’t know… I would’ve egged his house or something,” you blurted the first thing that came to your mind. Maybe it was childish and seemed like a Halloween prank, but you figured it would be the most possible and the least incriminating thing that you came up with. “Okay, it’s a stupid idea. Forget I even mentioned it,” you added, trying to laugh this off as you saw Jaemin’s indifferent reaction.

“It’s not a bad idea, but I still think we shouldn’t,” Jaemin replied, and you giggled nervously.

 [01:21 A.M.]

Though you both agreed it was a childish and stupid idea, it didn’t stop you from executing it. Alcohol was still running in your veins, so maybe that’s why your judgments were faulty. If only there was someone sober to supervise your nightly shenanigans…

You and Jaemin marched to the 24/7 grocery shop and bought a large crate of eggs. You knew Taeil would be suspicious if he saw you with Jaemin, so you picked a different shop. Of course, the young shop assistant was still hesitant to sell so many eggs in the middle of the night. It was fishy, but the shop assistant wasn’t paid enough to care. However, if he, in fact, wanted to question you about your bizarre purchase, you had a fake scenario already brewing.

“No wonder we met today at the grocery shop. Your cheating ex is my neighbor,” you concluded once Jaemin revealed his ex’s address. She lived on the 3rd floor, three blocks away from your apartment. “Are you sure you want to do this?” You asked Jaemin, looking at him in concern.

“No,” he answered, putting the crate of eggs onto the pavement. When you thought that alcohol wore off and Jaemin became his mature self, he crouched down, picked up two eggs, and tossed them on his ex’s balcony. “Holy shit,” Jaemin exclaimed when the eggs cracked against the window. “You should try it,” he encouraged, handing you the eggs.

“It has no right being this fun,” you commented when you joined in. One egg after another smashed against either the balcony’s window or doors. At first, you felt bad for Jaemin’s ex because she was going to have a lot of problems to clean it all up. However, once you remembered what she had done to Jaemin, all of your empathy towards her magically disappeared.

“Oh shit, someone opened the balcony doors. Quick!” Jaemin shouted before he grabbed your arm, pulling you away, so the two of you wouldn’t get caught. You could see someone who looked awfully like Lucas groan on the 3rd floor, looking for the culprit.

“Are you sure we’re egging the right apartment?” You asked, wondering if your mind was projecting the darkest scenario it could come up with.

Jaemin caught his girlfriend cheating around the same time you got your break-up text from Lucas. Maybe, it was a stretch to assume Lucas had an affair with Jaemin’s partner, but on the other hand, you weren’t that drunk to see Lucas’ visage on random guys’ faces.

“Yes, that’s positively her apartment. Why?”

“I know it may sound crazy, but I think I saw Lucas on her balcony. Lucas, as in my ex,” you explained, trying your best to ignore your shaking hands. “Is this the guy you caught in her bed?” You asked as you unlocked your phone, showing Jaemin the photo of you and Lucas, which you used as a lockscreen picture.

“Hmm… I was too shocked to stare, but it could be him,” Jaemin answered, scratching the back of his head, trying to remember any detail about the guy that had been fucking his girl.

“This fucker,” you cursed, boiling in rage. No, you could not let it slide. “What’s the number of her apartment?” You inquired, running up to the intercom. Enough was enough. Maybe Lucas was bigger and stronger than you, but you were blinded by fury, determined to whoop his ass. Breaking up with you over a text message was wrong, but cheating on you with your neighbor was despicable.

“Violence won’t fix your broken heart,” Jaemin said as he stopped you. Firmly, he put his hands on your shoulders, pulling you away from the intercom, making you face him. “His cheating ass is not worth a single breath.”

“You’re right,” you whispered, offering a faint smile. Jaemin was glad that he could reason with you, so he let you go, only for you to stubbornly try running inside the building to give Lucas a piece of your mind. “Let me go!” You yelled when Jaemin wrapped his arms around your waist and yanked you away from the entrance.

“Calm down,” Jaemin ordered seriously, and you hiccupped a little intimidated. Maybe, Jaemin was right. It wasn’t a good idea to barge in and start a fight. Your hurt emotions got the best of you, and it was for the better to face Lucas after you’d calm down. “You’re not going anywhere, especially not after what we’ve done.”

“Okay, fine,” you grumbled, taking a few deep breaths to quiet down. “Is he gone?” You asked, and Jaemin craned his neck upwards, checking if Lucas came back inside.

Once you made sure the coast was clear, hand in hand, you ran away.

“Thank you.”

 [02:03 A.M.]

“I’m hungry,” Jaemin mumbled as you two hung out on the neighborhood’s playground.

“Your appetite has returned,” you concluded, trying to refrain from smiling. Jaemin wanted to eat, and you considered it significant progress. When you bumped into each other by the riverside, Jaemin was really sad, and now, he seemed better.

“Is there any restaurant still open at this hour?” Jaemin asked, knowing you knew your way around this area. He might’ve visited his ex-girlfriend often, but it was you who lived here.

“I don’t think there is,” you answered, scratching the back of your neck. You could have some noodles in the convenience shop, but then you remembered you had a whole feast in your apartment. “We can go to my place. I cooked way too much food. Unless you help me, it’s gonna waste,” you started, and Jaemin licked his lips at the thought of supper.

“Beggars can’t be choosers,” Jaemin smiled, and you thought he looked ridiculously handsome when there was a big smile on his face instead of a frown. “Lead the way,” he added, pulling you out of your train of thought. You were inappropriate.

Slowly, you walked toward your apartment. You were dragging your feet along the pavement, and Jaemin followed behind you.

“The sky is beautiful tonight,” Jaemin commented, and you stopped in your tracks to look up and admire the magnificent view. The sky was pitch black, and you barely could see any stars, but it was nonetheless gorgeous.

The moment you looked up, you felt a large drop of water hit your face.

“Please be rain,” you whispered, hoping it was rain and not bird poop. With your luck today, anything was possible.

“It is rain,” Jaemin whispered as he extended his hand, letting droplets fall onto his palm. “We should get going before it starts pouring.”

“Jaemin,” you muttered, obtaining Jaemin’s attention. His eyes were on you. Jaemin was scanning your face, trying to read what you’re going to say. The rain was getting more and more intense, but Jaemin waited for you.

“What’s the matter?” Jaemin asked, still staring at you. It was raining cats and dogs now, and it was difficult to maintain eye contact, but he tried. His hair was all wet, sticking to his forehead. Your clothes were getting drenched, too.

“Can I kiss you?”

“What?”

“Can I kiss you?” You repeated yourself, staring at your feet in embarrassment. “I’ve always wanted to kiss in the rain. Do you know how hard it is to find proper timing?” You asked, but Jaemin didn’t reply, leaving you in awkward silence. “It doesn’t have to mean anything. It’s just a kiss. I’ll kiss you, and we can forget all about it.”

“I’ve never kissed in the rain, either,” Jaemin finally spoke, and you looked up. Shyly, Jaemin was smiling. “Let’s do it,” he added, walking up to you, resting his hands on your hips. “It’s just a kiss.”

Jaemin leaned in, and you cupped his cheeks, puckering your lips, excited to meet his. At first, the kiss was gentle and innocent. Your lips were tightly pressed against his, slowly moving in sync.

Jaemin was a good kisser.

The sound of rain hitting the ground echoed in your ears as you closed your eyes. The atmosphere was serene, and although you didn’t harbor any feelings for Jaemin, your heart skipped a beat. If only you were kissing someone that you loved dearly, you might’ve got a cardiac arrest.

Jaemin’s hands roamed your body, pulling you closer against him. They inched from your hips all the way up to your neck. You slightly parted your lips, and Jaemin took his chance and deepened the kiss, making you feel dizzy.

Suddenly, you heard a loud thunder, and it made you both pull away.

“It was…” you started when you parted but were unable to form a coherent comment. It was difficult to describe. A kiss with a stranger shouldn’t feel this good. The romantic rainy atmosphere must’ve made it better than it actually was. You had no better explanation.

“Agreed,” Jaemin spoke as he took a step back, giving you your space. “Let’s go to your place before one of us gets struck by lightning,” Jaemin urged, and you complied, running away as fast as you could in your high heels.

“Hurry up,” you yelled in hopes that Jaemin was trailing behind you.

You both were utterly drenched, but now when Jaemin mentioned lightning, you didn’t want to get struck by one, so you bolted. Your feet were hurting, but thankfully, you got to your building in a few minutes.

“Which floor?” Jaemin asked as his finger hovered over the buttons in the elevator.

“Fourth,” you answered, and Jaemin pressed the right button. It was completely silent inside the elevator, but you were too busy fidgeting with your keys, looking the one to your lock.

“Make yourself home,” you spoke as you kicked off your shoes and stormed to the kitchen to heat up the food. Quickly, you put the food into the oven and set the temperature.

“I don’t mean to overstay my welcome but do you have anything I could change into?” Jaemin asked as he stared at you, hoping you could help him. “My clothes are soaked. I am all sticky,” he added, showing you how uncomfortable his outfit was right now. His pants looked like a second skin, sticking to his sexy thighs. His wet shirt also left barely any room for imagination, letting you see how muscular he was underneath it.

“Yeah, sure, of course,” you answered as you stopped drooling over him. Get your shit together; you scolded yourself, offering Jaemin an apologetic smile. “I think I have something that shall fit you,” you spoke, marching to your bedroom, avoiding his scrutinizing gaze.

Cursing under your breath, you sought a clean set of clothes.

“Here, you can change in the bathroom.” You handed him a pair of sweatpants and a simple white T-shirt, pointing at the doors behind his back.

“Thanks,” Jaemin replied, beaming. “I’ll be right back,” he added, and you nodded, panicking. It was unusual for you to behave like this. You shouldn’t have kissed him. If only you could have kept your mouth shut, you wouldn’t be all fidgety.

Since Jaemin was in the bathroom, you decided to change your clothes, too. You had no idea how much time he needed, so in haste, you unzipped your dress, trying to pull it over your head. Unfortunately, your dress, as well as your sexy see-through body, was uncomfortably stuck to your skin.

Turning to the window, you took off your lingerie and put on an oversized T-shirt and a pair of leggings. This set was your go-to pajama set, and you as soon as you replaced it with your drenched dress, you felt incredible comfort.

“I put my clothes on the rack in the bathroom,” Jaemin said after he cleared his throat. “I must admit you’re pretty funny,” he added, and you shook your head, feigning innocence. “I mean… really?” He giggled as he turned around, bending forward, showing his cute flat butt.

“I am sorry, I don’t get what you mean,” you spoke, batting your eyelashes, pretending to be clueless. “Do you want me to spank you or what?” You laughed, covering your face.

“Juicy? Really?” Jaemin said, rolling his eyes. Yes, there was a gigantic shimmering juicy written across his velvet tracksuit pants, and you had to admit that Jaemin didn’t look that bad.

“Yes, really,” you whispered, trying your best not to laugh. Maybe you could name a few people who had butts more fitted for the pair of pants, but it still looked fine on Jaemin. “Anyway, I think the food is ready.”

“Good. I am starving.”

 [03:32 A.M.]

Jaemin was sitting on the edge of the couch, leaning in for every bite. You, on the other hand, were seated on the carpet right next to him. Though the both of you were famished, you barely ate half the feast you had prepared for you and Lucas. You were sure you consumed at least four hundred thousand calories, even though you ate maybe a quarter of the supper.

“I don’t get these people. It’s not really that hard,” Jaemin complained, getting too invested in a TV reality show you had randomly played on Netflix. You were in the middle of the second episode, and it was about the sixth time Jaemin groaned at the screen in irritation.

“Relax, it’s probably staged anyway,” you replied, poking his leg with your shoulder as you tried to stuff one more bite in your mouth.

“I understand being horny, but they’re feral 24/7 for complete strangers,” he carried on, and you decided to let him vent to his heart content. You’d much rather listen to him complain about a stupid TV show than let him sulk after the break-up. “They act as if their dick is gonna fall off unless they get it wet every day.”

“Oh, come on. You’d try to get some, too. Don’t act so prude,” you concluded, but Jaemin looked at you seriously. “What?”

“They are literally getting paid for not fucking, and all they do is look for someone to suck them off,” Jaemin carried on, and you chuckled, finding his shenanigans absolutely adorable.

“Maybe I should pick something else,” you proposed, and Jaemin shook his head. He was having too much fun complaining. “Okay, let’s keep watching it, but if my neighbors call the police, you’re the one who’s gonna speak with them,” you warned him as you put your plate away, slipping on the couch beside Jaemin.

“If I was on the show, I would probably just chill by the pool and enjoy the cocktails,” you started dreamily, thinking how nice it would be to go on vacation to such a luxurious resort. “Besides, these guys aren’t really my style. Who would like to interact with such notorious players?”

“So… what is your type?”

“I like reliable men who are fun and can make me laugh,” you answered after serious consideration. “My type would be any male character written by a female writer, but such men don’t exist in real life.”

“You have to be more realistic,” Jaemin agreed, heaving a sigh. “You’re smart, fun, and beautiful. And the food you made is to die for. I am pretty sure you’ll find someone who will appreciate you the way you deserve it.”

“Thank you, Jaemin. That’s really sweet of you.”

“Lucas is a loser for treating you like that,” he added, and you meekly smiled, getting emotional at the mention of your ex’s name. Though you were on the verge of crying, you decided to suppress your tears. Lucas wasn’t worth it. If there’s anything you should cry over, it’s all the time you had wasted on this piece of garbage.

“Thank you, Jaemin. You really know how to lift up the mood,” you chuckled, looking into Jaemin’s eyes. You hadn’t noticed it before, but Jaemin had beautiful eyes and long dark eyelashes. Surprisingly, these breathtaking orbs were focused on your lips. “If you want to join, I am planning on setting Lucas’ stuff on fire tomorrow,” you added jokingly, trying to make the atmosphere less tense.

“I don’t condone any of it, but it’s dangerous to do it alone. If you’re gonna do it, then I’ll tag along and supervise you. I’ll bring the fire distinguisher. Just in case you need one,” Jaemin replied halfheartedly, caressing your shoulder to provide a sense of comfort. Not being judged was a nice feeling, and you were glad Jaemin provided that instead of a lecture on how immature you were acting.

“Thank you, Jaemin. You’re a real friend,” you replied with a sigh, pleased that you decided to give him a second chance. Even though you two had had a rough first encounter, Jaemin proved himself. With ease, he became one of your favorite people.

[04:47 A.M.]

“I should head back home,” Jaemin announced as you two sat through yet another episode.

“Nonsense,” you yawned, not wanting to end your spontaneous adventure with him. “It’s raining cats and dogs outside. I am not letting you go out in this weather,” you reasoned as you sighed, glad you came up with a faultless excuse.

“It was the most fun I had in a while, but I really overstayed my welcome here.”

“I thought we were friends…” you pouted, staring into his eyes. “You’re gonna help me finish the food in the morning. You have to stay,” you stated, and Jaemin decided not to argue. You seemed to have valid reasons for him to stay, so he complied.

“Should we get some sleep? It’s almost morning,” Jaemin inquired, and you hummed in agreement. You weren’t super tired, but you concluded it would be reckless to pull an all-nighter. You had a free weekend ahead of you, and you didn’t want to spend it all on sleeping.

Having turned off the television, you and Jaemin headed to your bedroom. You were too lazy to preparing bedding for Jaemin in the living room, so you told him to sleep with you on the bed. At this point, Jaemin was too lazy too to even argue if it was inappropriate or not.

“The sun will rise soon,” you whispered as you looked through the window, seeing the dark sky brighten up slowly. “It was one hell of a day,” you quietly added as you closed your eyes, ready to force yourself to sleep.

“It really was,” Jaemin agreed, genuinely smiling. “You’re literally the last person I expected to hang out with, but I am glad we did. It was fun.”

The sounds of raindrops hitting against the windows slowly lulled you to sleep.

“Are you asleep?” You heard Jaemin’s soft voice.

“No,” you replied, turning to your side to face him. Jaemin’s soft gaze was trained on you as he lay beside you. “What is it?”

“I have a confession to make,” he whispered, and you purred, trying to focus on his voice.

“Go on.”

“I should’ve told you sooner, but I was embarrassed,” Jaemin started, and you rubbed your eyes, trying your best to stay awake. It was getting juicy, and you didn’t want to fall asleep in the middle of Jaemin’s confession. “I kind of saw you changing and didn’t look away.”

“What?” You whisper-yelled, being fully awake now.

“I know it was creepy, and I’m really sorry for it. It was right after we kissed, and I was confused, and you looked so hot, I just… I don’t know what got into me,” Jaemin blabbered, and you giggled, thinking he was adorable. “Why are you smiling? Aren’t you angry?” he asked, adjusting his position. He had his hands tucked under his cheek as he stared at you.

“Only a little bit,” you answered proudly. “You’re hot, too, so if I had a chance to check you out when you were changing, I’d probably do it,” you elaborated frankly, having no shame. “What did you see?”

“Your ass, and thighs, and a bit of a boob.”

“And?”

“And then, I had bad thoughts.”

“What kind of bad thoughts?” You egged him on, curious what he thought of you.

“You know what kind of bad thoughts,” Jaemin argued, and you giggled, shaking your head, acting clueless as ever.

“I really don’t,” you laughed, pressing your mouth against the pillow, trying to make your laughter less obvious. Of course, you failed. Jaemin saw right through you. “OK, fine. I know what you mean. If that makes you feel any better, I might’ve had similar thoughts. When we were watching that stupid reality show, they were talking about sex all the time, and it made me a little bit horny.”

“We really shouldn’t,” Jaemin stated as he inched closer, resting his face on your pillow. “We just got out of our relationships. We’re not thinking straight,” he continued, and you cursed under your breath because you knew he was right.

“I still kind of want you to kiss me, though,” you whispered as you leaned forward until you could feel Jaemin’s breath on your lips. You were lingering dangerously close, yet you waited for Jaemin to make a move.

Jaemin didn’t need to be told twice. He took the initiative and closed the gap, giving you a gentle kiss. His hand found purchase on your cheek as he held you in place when his mouth slowly moved against yours. “It has no right to feel this good,” Jaemin breathed out, tickling your skin.

“I want to go all the way,” you confessed, biting your bottom lip in anticipation. You were bold, and you hoped you didn’t misinterpret this situation. You and Jaemin were going through a rough patch in your respective relationships. It wasn’t the right time to start anything serious, and you were fine with that.

Tonight, sex didn’t have to mean anything. Maybe, once you figure your shit out, you could go on a date, but right now, you were more than okay with casual, meaningless sex.

“What are you into in bed? What are your kinks?” You asked as you propped your head on your elbow, staring at Jaemin. He was now lying on his back, looking at the ceiling. Having analyzed his body language, you could tell he was embarrassed, so you decided to go first.

If you were to have sex with Jaemin, you wanted him to know what turned you on and off beforehand. Though you didn’t doubt Jaemin’s skills in bed, you’d gladly tell him what you liked. If your relationship with Jaemin had a future, you’d let him figure out your preferences over time. Just in case you would never meet again, you gladly laid out all your cards.

“I really like to be spanked,” you started, giggling. “Oh, and I like riding dicks.”

Your boldness turned Jaemin on more than he initially thought. You were just listing stuff you liked to do in bed, giving him tips, and Jaemin was getting hard.

“Lucas always tried to dominate me, but I think I’m more of a switch. Oh, and I like when men are vocal! There’s nothing sexier than man’s moans,” you carried on, completely oblivious to what was going on inside Jaemin’s pants. “So… Jaemin, what kind of stuff are you into? Do you like being babied? Or are you into restraint? Or maybe roleplay?” You inquired, but Jaemin remained silent.

“I like to spank,” Jaemin revealed, and you nodded, excited to hear the rest of his kinks.

“What else?” You urged him, but Jaemin hummed, thinking. Was it that bad? “Come on, I am pretty freaky myself. I think I can handle whatever is on your mind,” you confessed, but it still wasn’t enough for Jaemin to be completely honest with you. “Okay, let me guess,” you tried a different approach, gently tapping your lips with your forefinger, pondering. “I think I know what you’re into.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, and I hope I am wrong,” you replied, covering your giggles with your hands. “I mean, it gotta be something big if you’re so reluctant to tell me,” you concluded, and Jaemin let you finish your thought. “I can’t believe I was going to fuck someone who’s into feet.”

“What?!” Jaemin yelled, sitting up, staring down at you with cocked eyebrows. “No! I don’t have a feet fetish! God no! What’s wrong with you?!” Jaemin exclaimed, and you pressed a pillow against your face, trying to cover your loud chuckles. “I like both receiving and giving praises. I like to overstimulate, and I am kind of into daddy/babygirl roleplay.”

Jaemin loudly listed his turn-ons, but you didn’t pay him your full attention as your laughter still echoed against the walls of your bedroom. Your reasoning was hysterical, and you needed more time to collect yourself.

Unfortunately, Jaemin wasn’t having it. With determination written all over his face, he straddled you, pinning your hands against your mattress on both sides of your head. You were still giggling, but when you looked into his dark eyes, you shut up.

“I didn’t appreciate your joke,” Jaemin said in a low voice, his tone all serious.

“I am sorry, daddy,” you whispered, knowing he’d enjoy it. “I will not joke like that. I am gonna be a good girl to daddy,” you added, batting your eyelashes innocently.

“I am happy to hear that, baby girl,” Jaemin said with a lopsided smile. “Now, what should I do with you, huh?” Leaning forward, Jaemin whispered into your ear, pressing a delicate kiss against the sensitive skin of your neck. “Do you want to suck daddy’s cock?” Jaemin inquired, and you held your breath, nodding your head.

Delighted with your timid non-verbal response, Jaemin smirked as he got off you, resting on his back with his arms folded under his head. Obediently, you straddled Jaemin’s thighs and pulled the trousers down, releasing his semi-erect cock.

“Go on,” Jaemin urged, and you bit your lips as you took a hair tie off your hand make a ponytail. Once you were ready, you wrapped your hands around Jaemin’s length, giving him a few strokes before you took him in your mouth.

Jaemin was staring at you fondly as your head was bobbing up and down his shaft. You took your time taking more and more of him, and Jaemin grunted in pleasure, enjoying the way you swallowed him. Gently, Jaemin grabbed your ponytail and guided you, forcing his cock down your throat until he could hear you choke.

“Is my cock too much for you, baby?” Jaemin innocently asked as he held your face up, rubbing your cheek with his thumb. “You sucked me well. Now, lie down on your back and let daddy take care of you,” Jaemin ordered, and you obeyed him, awaiting your reward.

Slowly, Jaemin pulled your leggings down your legs, leaving you only in your oversized T-shirt. With one fluid motion, Jaemin crawled between your thighs, spreading them even further. Though he didn’t even touch you, you trembled in anticipation.

Swiftly, Jaemin put his hands on your butt cheeks, dragging you closer to his mouth. His fingers were digging into your flesh as he licked your folds. Passionately, his tongue twirled around your sensitive bud, making you hiss in pleasure.

“Stay still. Be a good girl, and don’t buckle your hips,” Jaemin gave you the first warning as he forced you back onto the mattress. You knew you’d have a hard time controlling your urges, but you were going to try your best.

The moment you fully relaxed, Jaemin’s face reconnected with your entrance, teasing you with no mercy. Gently, he sucked on your clit, getting hushed whimpers out of you. His nose brushed against your pelvic bone as Jaemin ate you out with hunger. Your juices mixed with his saliva provided close to no friction as his fingers slipped inside of you with ease.

“Aaahh…” you hissed when the cold ring, which was around Jaemin’s forefinger, stroke past your folds. “Jaemin, I need more. I can take more of your fingers,” you moaned, shutting your eyes close.

Unfortunately, Jaemin didn’t comply with your plea. Instead, he pulled away, letting you realize your mistake on your own.

“I’m sorry, daddy,” you apologized, using Jaemin’s nickname. “Daddy, please. Give me your fingers. I want to come around them,” you whimpered, pouting in hope Jaemin would forgive you for not addressing him properly.

“How could daddy refuse you when you beg so nicely,” Jaemin whispered before he pushed three fingers at once, stretching you out. “You’re so tight. Daddy will have to work really hard to get you ready for his cock.”

Jaemin pumped his fingers in and out, and you grabbed a fistful of sheets, trying not to thrust your hips against his hand. With vigor, Jaemin curled his digits inside of you, searching for your sweet spot, trying to make you come.

Every flicker of his fingers inside of you got you moaning. Shamelessly, you breathed out his nickname as you felt your first orgasm approaching. Your walls were tightening around his knuckles, and as soon as Jaemin put your clit back between his lips, you felt completion. With a loud shriek of his name, you came undone.

“I am sorry, daddy,” you whispered, wishing for Jaemin to let this one slide.

“It’s okay, baby,” Jaemin answered as he lay on top of you, pressing his hard erection against your drenching folds. “You made daddy proud,” he added, leaning down for a kiss. You were still high after you had reached your peak, but you kissed Jaemin deeply, welcoming his tongue, massaging it with yours. “Do you want to ride me?” He asked, staring into your eyes.

“Yes,” you nodded, and Jaemin smirk, flipping you around, so now you were on top of him.

“Go bring the condoms,” he ordered, spanking you to hurry you up.

Obediently, you hopped off him to get a package of condoms. In the meantime, Jaemin took off his clothes. Within a minute, you were back, and you couldn’t believe your eyes. Jaemin was lying on your bed, gently stroking his length, waiting for your return.

“Strip,” he firmly spoke, and you grabbed the hem of your shirt before you pulled it over your head, tossing it onto the floor. “Now, come here, beautiful,” Jaemin commanded, and you made your way toward your bed, crawling on top of Jaemin’s thighs.

“Can I?” You pleaded, playing with the condom packaging, eager to roll it down his length.

“Go ahead,” Jaemin encouraged you, and you carefully draped a condom on his erect cock. “I can’t wait to finally be inside of you,” he whispered in a seductive tone as he put his hands on your butt, pulling you closer. “Hop on top of it and ride it.”

Being the good girl you were, you grabbed his erection and aligned it with your entrance, slowly sinking down, enjoying the way your walls stretched to welcome him.

Jaemin’s hands didn’t leave your butt cheeks. At all times, he was either kneading or spanking them. You, on the other hand, moved up and down his length, moaning and groaning his name like an incantation.

“Do you want daddy to help you?” Jaemin asked as he felt you were slowly losing all your energy. Your movements fell out of rhythm, and you significantly slowed down.

“Please,” you breathed out as you leaned forward to get a passionate kiss.

Though you were still on top, now it was Jaemin’s turn to do all the work. From underneath you, he thrust his hips upwards, pushing his cock deep inside of you.

“Play with your clit for daddy.”

The sounds which were leaving your mouth were obscene. Jaemin’s cock filled up well, hitting all the right places, but when he gave you permission to touch yourself, you were on the verge of the second orgasm.

“I want to cum at the same time daddy does,” you confessed, and Jaemin smirked, increasing his tempo. At this point, he was pounding you hard.

“Daddy’s close,” Jaemin announced, giving you a powerful slap against your butt cheeks, making you yelp. You were sure his hand left an imprint on your skin, but in all honesty, you enjoyed this kind of pain.

“I’m coming!” You shouted as you arched your back, completely losing your composure when an electrifying sensation ripped inside of you.

“Fuck,” Jaemin cursed when he bottomed out, shooting his load into the condom.

Your body tingled as blissful feeling slowly fleeted. You needed a moment to fully return back on Earth after your climax. Underneath you, Jaemin was still panting, basking in post-orgasmic ecstasy.

“It was world-shattering, daddy,” you giggled as you lay down on Jaemin’s chest, pressing a chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth. “We’re quite compatible in terms of sex,” you added before you gave him a deep kiss, sucking on his bottom lip.

“I wish I wasn’t so spent,” Jaemin confessed as he pulled out his flaccid cock, dropping the condom onto the floor. “I could fuck you for hours.”

 [09:27 P.M.]

Your body didn’t exactly work like other people’s. It was strange, but over the years you got used to it, considering it your superpower. While others suffered terrible headaches after a night of alcohol, you woke up feeling energized and well-rested.

Despite having maybe three hours of sleep, once you opened your eyes, you couldn’t drift back to dreamland. You had too much energy for it, so you chose to get out of bed.

Jaemin was sleeping right beside you, cuddling you. Regardless of how nice it felt, you decided to slip from underneath the covers. Thankfully, you didn’t wake him up when you were trying to escape his gentle embrace.

At first, you took a long shower. Nothing felt more relaxing than standing under the hot waterfall massaging your skin.

Then, you did all the house chores. You did laundry. You cleaned the living room after your and Jaemin’s late supper. You even watered the plants and took the trash out.

At last, you grabbed the largest cardboard box you could find and threw everything that belonged to Lucas, still pondering whether you should toss it into the trash, wait for him to pick it up, or set it on fire.

You were sad to close this chapter of your life. The only good thing about this drama was the fact that your relationship with him ended before you entirely devoted yourself to him. You had no idea how much it would’ve hurt you if you were head over heels in love with him. Thankfully, you’d never get to feel it.

Around noon, your apartment turned into a Lucas-free zone. Everything that reminded you of him was put away, waiting for your ultimate decision.

“What are you doing up? What time is it?” You heard Jaemin’s raspy morning voice as you walked inside your bedroom, wanting to double-check if any Lucas’ shit was still there.

“Rise and shine,” you chipped, sitting on the edge of the bed, looking down at the sleepy man. “It’s half-past twelve,” you informed him, reading the time off your wristwatch. “Are you hungry? I was about to heat up yesterday’s leftovers. You want some?”

“With pleasure. I’d die for a cup of coffee, though,” Jaemin purred, snuggling closer to the pillow, definitely not ready to love the bed yet.

“Okay, what coffee do you usually have?”

“Americano with six espresso shots,” Jaemin whispered, and you creased your eyebrows, hoping you heard him wrong. It had to be a joke. It wasn’t healthy.

“The best I can do is a decaf hazelnut cappuccino,” you revealed, curious how he would react to your counteroffer. Since your body didn’t handle caffeine well, you only had decaf blends, and Jaemin didn’t seem to be the type of person to enjoy coffee-flavored beverages. “Or I can hook you up with my downstairs neighbor. He should have some cocaine to get you through the day,” you proposed, wondering which offer Jaemin was more likely to take.

“Never mind,” Jaemin said as he sat up and rubbed his eyes. “Can I have some tea, then?”

“Of course,” you voiced, approving of Jaemin’s drink choice. “I’ve prepared a clean towel for you. Go take a shower. I’ll be waiting for you in the kitchen.”

Twenty minutes later, you and Jaemin were sitting next to each other on the barstools by the kitchen island, munching on leftovers.

“How come it tastes even better than last night?” Jaemin commented as he put some more food onto his plate, still hungry to devour the rest of it. “I’m gonna take it to go if we don’t finish it now,” he added, and you giggled.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” you shook your head before you put your fork down as you reached for your cup. “We’re friends. I can make some more when we’re gonna hang out,” you added, carefully watching his reaction. You had met Jaemin not even twenty-four hours ago, but in your opinion, you were already friends. Hopefully, Jaemin thought the same thing.

“I’d love that,” Jaemin said, smiling, making your heart skip a beat.

Though it was already lunchtime, you and Jaemin finished breakfast in a friendly atmosphere. You were talking about nonsense until all the food disappeared from your plates. You didn’t want to say goodbye to him yet, but you understood that Jaemin had to leave.

Just as you had to get rid of things that reminded you of Lucas, Jaemin needed to deal with his own relationship drama. However, you were hopeful that once you both mend your broken hearts, something could happen between you and Jaemin.

“Call me,” you whispered as you kissed Jaemin on the cheek before he went through the threshold of your apartment.

“I will,” Jaemin smiled, waving at you.

You watched him approach the elevator. You really wished he could stay longer, but when you thought of meeting him again, you smiled. You had no idea how much time it would take to overcome your heartaches, but Jaemin was worth the wait.

“Wait,” Jaemin hollered when he turned away and ran back to you. “I don’t have your number,” he added sheepishly, and you shook your head. You were relieved that Jaemin remembered that you had never exchanged contact information.

“Here,” you giggled as you handed him his phone back after you saved your number. “Call me sometimes,” you added before he walked inside the elevator.

“I will!”  

[chickensarentcheap]

Esme stuff :) Tyler centric :)

@tragiclyhip​, @youflickedtooharddamnit​, @secretaryunpaid​

Someone had a rough night. LMAO.

Both Millie and TJ had (very noisy) sleepovers with friends and I went out with my sister and came home so drunk that he had to carry me upstairs to bed and then I proceeded to pass out in the middle of feeling extremely amorous.   And although I apparently gave him ‘blue balls’, he still undressed me and put me in pyjamas and then fetched the puke bucket several times during the night.

Needless to say,  he’s feeling it this morning.  

Missing your bachelor days right about now, aren’t you Tae LOL

Tyler swears that Nugget is starting to look more like me, but does he not look like his dad here? Even the expression?  

LOL

That’s a Tyler look for sure 

When you're married to the hottest guy on earth.  He just gets better and better with age. While I look more and more like a busted can of biscuits.   Yet he doesn’t seem to care that I’m a mess (and not a hot one either, and he still sticks around and seems to be horny ALL THE TIME). So suck on that, thirsty bishes,  He’s all mine. 

The new ‘thing’ at our house is Tanner going into the gym to hang out with his dad while he works out.  So Tae will forgo listening to music in favour of Tanner reading to him from his favourite book of the moment.  Today however, Tanner brought in a joke book he’d found at the school book fair and apparently,  that shit is hilarious lol

And look at that adorable, clean shaven face.  I prefer the beard (as do the kids) but there’s doing he’s cute AF.

We just got her buckled in and the husband starts the truck, then sniffs the air and quickly turns the ignition off.

“Esme....check on your baby.” 

LOL

I thought she was YOUR baby,  husband. Your peanut.

Now she’s just mine?

Feels like so long ago! But baby Tanner.  In the NICU. And wearing daddy’s wedding ring.   It was a long road and we came so close to losing him so many times, but now he’s ten years old and the healthiest person in the house!  Now he loves to tell anyone who will listen that his twin brother ‘tried to kill me when we were in mum’s tummy’

Our first winter trip to the lake house.  Senior and Junior taking in the view.  My humongous  -and always and forever- love and one of my little loves :)

Back in Colorado. At the very end of the longest and most painful six months of my life.   We reconciled (under certain ‘rules’ that had to be followed) and he was finally home to stay after an eight week stint in rehab.   Clean and sober and healthier than ever.  And both of us ready to start from scratch :)

What’s more beautiful? The sunset? or the man?

I’m going with the man.

It’s hard to lay claim to him when he’s dressed like that.

*sigh* Yeah...he’s mine.

lol

Nice thighs tho, babe.   I just want to bite them.  

My husband is no ‘multiple trip bitch’ as he calls it.   He’s like this when carrying the groceries in the house too, btw. 

And holy arms, batman.  holy...everything.

#yum

That’s his “I’m going to rail the shit out of you later” look ;)

Sadly, we’re both going to have to wait. We have company. I guess he approves of the new sundress I’m wearing?  Is that what did? Or because I told him that underneath: no bra, no underwear? 

I don’t know where the foul language comes from, but she’s yelling “Where’s my f*cking bubby! (sippy cup)” as she wanders through the house.

Cheap labour. All he asks for is snuggles, apple juice, and goldfish crackers. 

Just a lazy night in the Rake house :)

A new baby means new ink :)

We’re in Finland! Just us.  And he’s ignoring me because apparently I’m too many pictures him when I’m supposed taking pictures of all the sights.

Baby, you’re the best sight of them all.

#Iwuvyou #bunches

[cryptidcircuslife]

Hi unofficial compilation of Getting Away From A Place tips

this is tailored to a specific situation so please do your own research for stuff more specific to you

running away tips subreddit

Short Term Preparation:

These are the things you can prepare now if you have to get out fast and unexpectedly

Do not tell anyone about your plan other than those directly involved in helping you.

Make a plan for your cash. You don't want to access an account your family can access or freeze. Slowly withdraw money and hide it if it's at risk of being taken. Withdrawing it all the day you leave will raise a red flag and have you on camera (atm or bank), if you even have time. As a legal adult, you may be able to get away with this because you aren't doing anything against the law. Just make sure to do it before your family finds out about you leaving. When you leave, if you don’t want to be traced- don’t use cards.

For hiding paper cash- you know your house and its occupants best. Determine what objects you have that won't be thrown away or tampered with by someone, and if they have a hollow space, store it. I used to use opaque pill bottles, hidden pockets or bindings in notebooks, the linings of old dvd or game cases, water bottles, gum cases, (all of these put in clothing or backpack pockets), opening the lining of coats and backpacks and hiding it inside of that, inside of hygeine products like the hollow part of a deodorant stick. Inside old electronics. in the stuffing of a plushie. Underneath the insoles of shoes you dont wear often.

Even if your money isn't at risk of being taken, store some of it separately anyway for emergencies.

I heard the bare minimum for running away with no destination or job is $1k. Judge for yourself your needs.

Get a backpack. Waterproof/resistant is better, but any is good. Don't pack it yet, so you don't arouse suspicion. But test out packing it to see if everything fits, and unpack it. Modify some hidden compartments so that when you travel, you will have places to hide your IDs and Cash- it's necessary so no one steals it. You want to travel light, regardless of your situation, because packing and carrying a ton of stuff takes time and you don't always have time on the day you leave.

Get a secondary bag. I learned the hard way that a backpack doesn't fit everything you'll need. Especially with amenities, food, clothing, personal possessions.... A duffel bag, one of those canvas grocery bags. A tote. Something to hold by hand.

Packing lists for running away are surprisingly similar to emergency evacuation pack lists.

Clothes to pack: 1 short sleeve shirt. 1 long sleeve shirt. 1 pair of pants. 7 sock pairs. 7 underwear pairs. 1 jacket. Some winter gear if you can, because nights will always be cold especially if you are stuck outside.

Hygeine to pack: deodorant. toothpaste. toothbrush. floss. baking soda if you’ll be on the road for a long time. Special products you may need- cream for a skin condition, sunscreen. I recommend a small essential oil bottle as a bug repellent, and some have antibacterial properties to help you/your clothes not smell musty af, and they're safe on the skin.

Must-haves to pack: you should have your social security card and another form of ID, like a state ID or drivers license. Pass port if you have one, and birth certificate or a copy if you can. Your cash. A map of your state/region.

Valuables to pack: bring a few things to keep you entertained that are small. A small book, or a notebook and pen. Try not for anything too heavy or bulky. Any survival gear you may own (sewing kits, first aid, multitools, matches, lighters).

If you will be staying outside, get a sleeping bag. Thermal blanket for cold temps.

Food to pack: bring healthy nonperishable food. Junk food won't do much for you on the move. Go for granola/protein bars, dried fruit, meat bars, jars of nut butters, canned food. A water bottle. Bring all medication you need.

Stuff to wear on you: go for baggy and multi-pocketed stuff. Don't wear your favorite clothing if you don't want to be identified, and make sure they blend well into the environment. Grey is the most unnoticeable color, then black, then neutrals. If identification isn't a problem, only wear and pack your favorite things. Wear comfortable and travel safe shirt and pants. Wear a hoodie or tie it around your waist so it doesnt take up bag space. A hat. Keep some cash in a hidden pocket if you can. Wear comfortable sneakers you can move around in for a long time and is good for the weather of where you live. Keep your self defense on you - knives, pepper spray, etc. (and learn the laws for those in your area)

Note: Storing some of these supplies around or in hiding places won't be too weird. Keeping the 'valuables' in the backpack won't be too strange to anyone either. Keeping everything nearby so you can quickly dump everything in the bags and go is a good idea. But Do Not Pack the clothes until the day you leave. clothes are a warning signal for leaving. And you cannot let them find out about your plans, especially if you are in a dangerous place.

Last note: know these are flexible to you. You can add or change stuff, as long as you have the most important things.

Long Term:

These are the things you can prepare for better

Save as much money as possible. You can secretly sell things.

Research more about what you may experience, be that attaining financial independence or how to train hop and live on the streets temporarily. Look at other people's tips for running away, or their experiences. Research moving out tips. Research specific to your area or where you will be headed. Libraries, shelters, charities, support organizations, 24-hour restaurants and locations. Research ticket prices, gas prices, etc. Apartment search. Be sure to remove those from your history. Cleaning it entirely may be suspicious if someone monitors that.

Build a budget and a food plan for how you will use your savings on the road.

As an adult, if you manage to get hired secretly for a job in your target location, you can apply for housing there, too. You will get set move-in dates and can give dates you can start working that work with your runaway schedule.

If you're running away as a minor, you can't stay with friends. However, as an adult you can. If someone is trying to find you, you'll have to be careful still.

If you need to leave fake trails because someone might search for you, there are some excellent resources by people trying to hide from domestic violence. The main tips are leaving fake trails in cities far away from wherever you will be- job applications you have no intention of following through on, apartment applications, phone calls, internet searches, purchases, etc. These can go more in-depth.

If you will be tracked, figure out how to get a burner phone. These are pretty cheap, and so are their service plans. You may want to consider this anyway to pay for your own service if your phone is taken off the existing one. Write down phone numbers you want to keep.

Make sure you have the proper amounts of medications you will need.

Be careful with this one, but figure out if you have any smaller hard-to-replace valuables that you want to bring to your new life but can't pack for your method of travel or might get stolen. Only do this if you have a place you are going to, and are going to get a job and housing there. Make a plan with a trusted friend to hold on to a few things you cannot carry in your bags and arrange for them to be mailed or picked up later. Only do this with one or two things that are easy to carry, because you will need to get it to them somehow, right? dont do this if you don't have the methods or the time before your runaway day. A good example is that I don't want to replace my laptop but I can't tow it through town and across state lines on a train. my friend can take care of it until I am settled.

Tie off any loose ends that you need to. This can be waiting for a responsibility to be gone, waiting for a last paycheck, or attending something you wanted to go to one last time.

Delete old accounts, and eventually deleting your emails and social media associated with your identity.

Note: The best thing you can do with time is make your supplies as efficient as possible, and plan. plan plan plan.

Schedule your leave date. or a range of leaving dates. But know sometimes it can be unpredictable. Make it a day when no one is home- especially if it's a dangerous situation.

On Runaway Day:

Hopefully you have a small window of time where you are alone.

Make sure you’re wearing all your runaway clothes you have prepared.

Pack your backpack and duffel bag quickly.

Leave a note, even if you don't want to. This is important, because you don't want a search for you because someone thought you were kidnapped or murdered. This way, officials can pretty much ignore it since it was voluntary.

Don’t look nervous or afraid while you are out, since that’ll draw unwanted attention.

If you made a plan for someone to pick you up, or to meet someone, make sure they are punctual. Don't meet right in front of your house if possible. Go a few streets away or somewhere less noticeable. Again, make sure whatever you bring is easy to carry so you move fast and no one tries to steal it.

If unfortunately you have to leave very quickly and haphazardly, leave anything not immediately important to survival behind.

Buy your burner phone with cash. Add your written numbers to the contacts. Create your new email and social media from there. If you're hiding, don't take pictures of yourself. Don't use your real name or information. Keep private accounts, and don't interact with anyone who will give you away.

If you have other travel plans, make your way there. Head to your safe places, your shelter, wherever you have planned. You are in your new life.

Once You Are Out:

Take care of your immediate needs. Find resources for food, water, and shelter.

Start accessing any support resources, regardless of what your situation is. In a town I lived in, there was an LGBTQ+ resource center that had entertainment/food/clothing/education clubs/showering/laundry/other amenities and programs for both lgbtq+ and homeless youth. I also took part in a gift drive for a specific minority that I qualified as, which gave me a lot of food.

Start working towards your future goals. Start job searching, and from there being able to secure housing. Start making friends. build a support structure. i hope it goes well

Rebuild your supplies and closet when you have the location security to do so.

[i-need-air]

your hybrid!bkg hcs are mad cute 😖💞 i’m in LOVE— what if reader comes home w/ a stray kitten? 🥺 katsuki doesn’t like cats but this one is all small and shivering and reader couldn’t let the poor thing starve on the streets so she takes it in. the kitten gets attached to katsuki very quickly much to his displeasure, he thinks he’s his mom lmao

I'm so glad you like them, all I want is to make people feel uwu and it's happening! 💕💕 This is so cute and I can only imagine him being a big ass momma later on ahskdjsk let's see:

[ Main Hybrid!Bakugou HCs here: Part 1 and Part 2! ]

[ BNHA Masterlist to find all Hybrid!AU works ]

× you had to stay out longer than expected so it was getting late, and the worst part was that it started raining

× very dark clouds, thunder seen in the distance, bone-chilling wind; storm looked as if it was approaching fastly

× so you rushed fast home

× but something stopped you in your tracks a few streets away from home

× a small, weak meow that somehow you heard over all the noise surrounding you

× after investigating, you found this poor little kitten behind a garbage can

× frail, tiny, trembling, balled up trying to maintain body heat

× you had to save the little life, you just had to

× when you walked through the door, throwing everything but your jacket, in which the kitten was secured in, Katsuki heard the commotion

× he got out of the shower as it seemed he also got late from work and gave you a questioning face

× bc you mumbled a small "hi" and rushed to the bathroom

× to which he follows, like wth is going on and definitely catches on as he smells you

× "What the hell is that?" blurts, tactful as always

× you explain to him in a rush as you prepare a warm bath for the kitten, asking him to google anything you could do to help it

× gives you a stink glance

× lol like I'd bother type of glance

× yet still does it as you open your jacket to show him the frail kitten still shivering

× he comes around with his phone, acting done with life while reading out loud what to do, what to feed it

× meanwhile you realize you really don't have any food that would suit the kitten so you ask him if he could gently bath it while you go out to buy some at the corner grocery shop near by

× he just took a shower and you were still wet from the rain so it made sense you'd be the one going

× cue to him complaining like an overgrown child

× "Tsk, you're gonna catch a cold"

× "Just let it dry or whatever"

× "I cleaned the fucking floor yesterday and now it's all wet!"

× all while taking the cat from you and closing the bathroom door in your face 😒

× you change fastly and go out again while rolling your eyes at him

× but

× i shit you not, the moment you arrive home and go check on them, you find him in the living room with the kitten wrapped in a towel in his arms

× he's just looking down at it with a serene expression on his face

× 🦋🦋💕🦋💕🦋💕🦋🦋🦋🦋

× honestly, i genuinely feel he'd be compassionate about it, he knows what it is to have a rough life so he's definitely going to help, and will appreciate you for saving its life

× the first few days he really bitches about it though

× "Ya wanna keep it?"

× "I'm not taking care of that damned cat!"

× "Hey, you, brat, come here, you need to eat" to the cat instantly after telling you he ain't doin it

× exagerated scoffs as the kitten approaches him and cuddles him, demands attention, so on

× "This brat is so needy, tsk"

× still pets it gently while acting disinterested

× the funniest thing is when you both realize the kitty follows him everywhere and throws small fits whenever he leaves

× you record it doing so and send it to him

× he only responds with 🙄

× [ but saves the videos in a secure folder called Brat ]

× "The fuck is it followin' me around?!?"

× cuddle time is now him on top of you and kitty burried in his neck purring

× he has a high body temperature, ideal for snuggles

× thinks that you're not looking and puts a hand on the cat for protection

× seriously his words don't match his actions

× i swear, i feel he'd be like a cat whisperer or something

× bc whenever he orders the kitten to do something kitty does exactly that

× you had to argue with the cat to get off the table, Katsuki comes, orders it and the lil shit meows and gets off

× to which, of course, smug ass Katsuki gives you a smirk like "This is how you do it 💅"

× 💕 little shits 💞

× of course you're keeping the cat

× and he demands it has to have a badass name

× like it's a cute fluffy smol bean and he wants to call it Diablo or some shit

× to which he explains it's cuz the cat is a little demon and the name just fits

× fine, whatever, what's important is that you're keeping the kitty, win-win

× will definitely 100% buy cat toys and accessories

× "So it won't destroy the fuckin house while we're gone"

× proceeds to play with the cat

× throws toy mouse a foot away, watching how it catches it and plays with it

× records it

× "What a dumbass"

× sends you the video instantly

× makes fun of you bc it's obvious who's the favorite

× enjoys when you're pouty about it but kisses your forehead

× he might be the favorite but you're still his favorite

× but when he catches you snuggling together he goes 💕💓💞💖💝✨✨✨✨

× will [ again ] bitch about it but even the cat knows he's jealous; he just wants to cuddle with you both

× will scold the cat if it throws things off shelves or something

× if he gets a "meow" back he's gonna glare at it and say "Don't talk back to me" 💀

× if you have the audacity to laugh at him for it he'll scold you too

× Big Mom Energy

× Katsuki is soft for the cat

× but dear lord, can't stand the hairs on his black t-shirts

× "Fucking amazing, LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!"

× "meow?"

× "Don't act innocent!"

× Chef Bakugou prepares the best food for the cat

× he's not buyin that cheap ass shit, nuh-huh

× vet trips make him more nervous than it should be

× he cannot stay in place, leg bouncing, all the anxiety bag

× "It's a regular check-up, Katsu—"

× "Why do they have to stab it, huh?!"

× "It's a vaccine, it's good for—"

× "Fuck off"

× 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

× "You did well, kid" and a scratch on the head after the tragic vaccination happens

× you know those pictures of big hunky dudes working out or doing manly stuff in the mirror? yano, those pics

× he sends you those but you suddently see kitty on his shoulders; the contrast is hilarious ngl

× demands you take some of those pics since he doesn't wanna disturb the cat

× he's soft, man

× his wallpaper is a picture of you and the kitty snuggling

× and he has hundreds of them

× most taken without permission or with you looking like a comfortable mess and that's his shit

× you start talking about pets, specifically cats with other people?

× his cat is better than anyone's cat

× no room for discussion

× will fight them

× his cat is a warrior, dude; no weak ass domestic cat, nope, his cat survived the streets, his cat is an apex predator, his cat is—

× akdjldkakdks you get it

× just say you love the cat and go lmfao

× then he shows em pictures of hIS cAt and it has a Christmas hat on, looking adorable af or something

× big ass apex predator, huh?

× his cat is also cute now stfu, extra 💅

× 💀 💀 💀 💀 💀

[bitchesgetriches]

Noble citizens of the aspirationally decadent Conglomerated Nation of Bitches Get Riches: let’s have a lil’ chat, shall we? It’s been a while since we chatted about our favorite topic: ourselves!

We hope you’ve enjoyed season two of the Bitches Get Riches podcast. Recording it was a bright spot for us during this dumpster fire of a year, so thank you all for listening.

As we wrap up another season, we had a few notes to share with you. Including some more personal reflections about how we’re doing, where we’re at, and what the future holds.

Let’s get into it!

Merch is back online

If you visited our Etsy shop in the last few months, you might’ve noticed the physical merch—tee shirts and coffee mugs and tote bags and such—wasn’t listed anymore. Basically, when lockdowns started, it caused a lot of disruption and delays on orders. Not wanting people to be stuck waiting for stuff, we decided to take it all offline, and only offer digital merch.

As of today, we’ve reactivated everything! But please keep in mind that there may still be delays, depending on what’s happening in the world! We appreciate your patience, if patience is indeed called for.

Visit Our Etsy Shop

Season one transcripts

Next, we wanted to let you guys know that we now have transcripts available for season one of the Bitches Get Riches podcast!

We’re committed to making BGR as accessible as we possibly can. We know that some people can’t hear, or struggle to absorb information aurally, so transcripts were something we’ve always wanted to offer.

… But, you know, at the end of the day, we’re just two people! Transcribing and editing audio is time- and labor-intensive work, and there just aren’t enough hours in the day for us to do it along with the fifteen million other things we have to do.

We were able to offer season one transcripts thanks entirely to A Purple Life, a peerlessly talented and wonderful fellow blogger who selflessly made it happen. (If you don’t already read her stuff, you’ve already disobeyed us, as we commanded you to in 10 Rad Black Money Experts to Follow Right the Hell Now. And for that, we’re strongly considering smiting you.)

We’re incredibly thankful to Purple for her hard work on this. But we also feel strongly that this DESERVES to be paid work! So the release of season two transcripts is dependent on getting more Patreon donors to offset funding it.

Season 1, Episode 1: “Should I Tell My Boss I’m Looking for Another Job?”

Season 1, Episode 2: “How Should I Behave on My First Day at Work?”

Season 1, Episode 3: “My Parents Have Bad Credit. Should I Help by Co-signing Their Mortgage?”

Season 1, Episode 4: “Capitalism Is Working for Me. So How Could I Hate It?”

Season 1, Episode 5: “I Don’t Love My Job, but It Pays Well. Should I Quit—or Tough It Out?”

Season 1, Episode 6: “I Lent My Boyfriend Money. He Took It to a Casino.”

Season 1, Episode 7: “I’m Terrible at Budgeting. Do I Suck It Up—Or Is There Another Way?”

Season 1, Episode 8: “My Mother Demands Information About My One-Night Stands.”

Season 1, Episode 9: “I’ve Given up on My Dream Career. Where Do I Go From Here?”

Season 1, Episode 10: “I Want a Pedigreed Dog. She Wants a Rescue Mutt. It Turned into a Fight… and the Fight Got Ugly.”

Season 1, Episode 11: “I Feel Cornered by a Friend Who Keeps Asking to Borrow Money.”

Season 1, Episode 12: “Should I Believe the Fear-Mongering about Another Recession?”

Bonus Episode: Merry Bitchmas! The 2019 Star-Studded Holiday Spectacular

For transcripts, scroll to the bottom of each episode and click “episode transcript.” Or read them directly in the podcast player of your choice!

Podcast reviews

We also super wanted to thank all the people who’ve etched their names in blood upon the dusty pages of our dark grimoire written reviews for the show on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, and other places!

We are beyond flattered by the kind things you guys have said about us. Like MoonPetalLily, who described us as “the snarky older sisters [they] wish [they] had.”

FunshineKelly said our “advice helped [them] land a $20k raise and a signing bonus without crying even a little bit.” GOOD! We don’t support tears in the workplace! Not even in the sanctity of your car parked way in the corner of the parking lot. Keep it together!

And God bless MelHubbs, who said, and I quote:

They’re prepared, and still relaxed; informative, and still light-hearted; comforting, and still sexual. It’s everything you could ever want in a podcast, in an internet personality, in your sisters-in-arms against the terrible war between capitalism and what humans actually need to survive & thrive. One of my favorite things about them is that they don’t have any corporate sponsors or ads, so you know what they’re saying is what they mean, not what their advertisers want them to say. If you’re able, support them on Patreon! If you’re not, listen to their podcast, take their advice to heart, reflect on your options, make your moves, then, with your newfound financial independence, become a patreon!

MelHubbs, you joyful sonnet!

Your review is so good that it reads suspiciously like something we paid you to write! But we’re too cheap for that—IT REAL!

Bitches Get Riches at the crossroads

All right. Time to level with you guys.

In keeping with 2020’s overarching theme (“everything is pure shit”), this year has become a real “shit or get off the pot” moment for the two of us.

Although I’m comfortable and doing fine, Piggy is still unemployed. And last week she received the last unemployment check she’s entitled to. It sucks. And it’s scary.

Being a partnership is awesome in almost every way. But one way that it sucks is that we have to earn double the amount of money to be truly profitable! (And no, before you ask, it’s not possible for us to only pay Piggy. Believe me, that was our original plan—but it turns out that’s not allowed in a 50/50 legal partnership. We must pay ourselves equally, or Uncle Sam will spank us. And he doesn’t do it in the sexy way—only the traumatic way!)

Piggy is doing okay for now. She has freelancing work, and an intact emergency fund. But understandably, anxiety and worry take their toll. She’s pushing through it, but it’s hard. Creativity and passion can’t thrive for long without some measure of safety and stability.

During these scary times, our Patreon community has been a lifeline. As more and more of you have joined us, it’s slowly crept up from grocery money to grocery and utility bill money! So thank you, thank you, from the bottom of our hearts thank you to those who’ve stepped up and joined.

But we’re kind of at a crossroads. Because of Piggy’s situation, we really need it to become “paying the mortgage” money. And it’s gotta get there pretty fast. Otherwise, it’s just not fair to ask Piggy to invest so much of her time in Bitches Get Riches, when she could be taking on higher paying freelancing work to keep herself afloat.

And trust me, you do not want a BGR that’s too Kitty-heavy. I am longwinded af, slowly losing my abilities to think and spell, and take every possible detour to inject disgusting sexual comments wherever they are least germane (although idk maybe you’re here for that).

Our new goal for ourselves, and you

With all of that in mind, we have a new goal: to produce season three of our podcast, we need 500 total Patreon donors.

Today we have… 294. So that’s, uhhhhh… a really ambitious goal!

It’s probably too ambitious. We’re probably gonna fail. Who cares, it’s 2020! The planet is on fire and god is already dead, so we have no reason not to give it our all!

We are leaving this in your hands. We—Piggy and I—believe that the world would be a better place if people could hear reliable, relatable financial wisdom funded by regular people, untainted by corporate sponsors with deep pockets who want us to push their capitalist crap upon you. And 294 of you have already demonstrated that you believe that too. Thank you, thank you, infinity thank yous to all of you who are already a part of our Patreon community. You are shining stars that smell faintly of vanilla.

For the rest of you: if you like what we do and you want us to keep doing it, please show us that you believe in it too. You can do that by joining us at the Bitches Get Riches Patreon.

We hope to be back soon for a third season. Until then, stay safe, stay sane, wear your masks, triple-check that you’re registered to vote, and save room for dessert. (What’s for dessert? So glad you asked—it’s the rich!)

For now, Bitches OUUUTTTTT!

Join the Bitches on Patreon

Join the Bitches on Patreon

[arathergrimreaper]

Truth be told, I grew up poor af too.

My family had money for a very brief period and my dad spent it all on garbage right before he went to prison. The way my mom talks, her parents had a similar dynamic when it came to only one breadwinner and unstable employment. The only real difference is she had full siblings that her parents were also supporting in the home and it was the 60s and 70s in small-town Ohio. Why she tries to act like we had so much more when she was raising me is baffling. Yes, the tech and how cheap it was got better. Being broke and struggling for groceries and rent got worse.

Of course, the internet, where you can share tips on how to save money and do things yourself, helped more than she realizes, but we didn't even have permanent internet in the house until I was fourteen. We were fucking homeless when I was about three apparently. I didn't even know that until a year ago.

Acting like I never knew we struggled as a kid when it was everywhere on top of all the shit I dealt with in regards to race, on top of what Dad was doing, ON TOP of fighting depression and then having the nerve to say I "had a good childhood" just because it was different from hers is rage inducing.

[yasbxxgie]

The Artist’s Way: Writer-director Radha Blank ruminates on creative frustration and rejuvenation in her debut feature, The Forty-Year-Old Version

Fair warning: This interview with Radha Blank isn’t business — it’s personal. Right now, like at this very moment, Radha is being introduced to the world as the writer, director, and star of the remarkable new Netflix film The Forty-Year-Old Version. But I remember Radha in the 1990s, smashing open mics at Brooklyn Moon in N.Y.C., rocking a fitted N.Y. Yankees cap and big hoop earrings. I remember her jumping into cyphers and catching wreck (read: she can dance her ass off) at Club Kilimanjaro. I remember sitting in the audience of her play Seed in 2011 and thinking, Damn, homegirl can write. I remember witnessing the rise of her emcee alter ego and one-woman show RadhaMUSprime at Joe’s Pub in 2014 and thinking, Damn, Radha can rhyme. AND she funny AF. Because Radha was (and is) a part of a close-knit artists’ community, I also recall her hustle, the keeping-the-lights-on-while-trying-to-make-your-dreams-come-true shuffle we know so well. Radha worked as a teacher, she wrote for children’s television and for shows such as Empire and She’s Gotta Have It.

So when The Forty-Year-Old Version won the U.S. Dramatic Directing Award at Sundance earlier this year, the community rejoiced! This wasn’t just a win for Radha, it was a win for the people. Here was a film rooted in Radha’s own story, about a woman at 40; a Black artist trying to get her stories told — as a playwright and as a rapper; a daughter grieving the death of her mother. Radha told her story her way, down to shooting the streets of New York on 35mm film in black and white. The result is a whole, liberating mood. There’s even a nod to Prince’s Purple Rain.

Karen Good Marable: First of all, Radha, congratulations! The Forty-Year-Old Version is amazing. Your success feels so much like a win for Brooklyn. A win for us all. Thank you for writing it. Radha Blank: I really did make it for us — us being Black women, Black women of a certain age, Black women artists of a certain age. I didn’t think I’d be starting a whole new career in my 40s, but I think it speaks to what’s possible if you let go of other people’s ideas of where you should be in your life. If I listened to other people and gave credence to their ideas, I would not be here.

Amen. When you were younger, did you have the boxes to check, i.e., “I need to get this done by 30, I need to get this done by 40”? Were you that girl? RB:

I think I was that girl. And I always say this about aging: It’s never really about the person; it’s about other people’s perceptions that you then take on. I thought by 40, I would be married with a couple of kids, all of my work being published, theaters asking, “Can we do a revival of this play now?” I really thought once I decided to be a playwright, which was probably my mid-20s, I thought, Oh, by 40, I’m going to be set up. I will have a house. And I do have a house, but that came from Cookie and Lucious Lyon. They got me a house.

Come through, Empire. RB:

I feel like we’ve all been conditioned to think that 40 is: You’re an adult, you’re accomplished, you’re established. What me and my character share is there’s still all of these “who am I” moments, questions around identity. Especially when my mother died, I really had to figure out who I was, because so much of my life as a woman, as a person, as a Black American, as an artist, was tied to this woman. When she died, I really had no sense of myself. So I feel like my personal experience propelled me toward telling the story. We just don’t see women of that age saying, What do I do next? Am I happy? Is this enough?

Your mother — curator, visual artist, cinephile, and arts teacher Carol Blank — figures prominently in the film. She is a goddess and a guide, but she also represents a complicated lesson in what it means to be an artist. RB: Oh, listen, I feel like everything I’ve learned, I’ve learned from my mother — from my frustration as an artist to being a teaching artist for so long. That’s where I learned how to be a director, honestly. I didn’t go to film school. I did stand-up comedy and all this performance stuff, and my first example was my mother. She knew how to turn a phrase or a joke to get the kids interested, and if they weren’t, she wasn’t going to push it. I learned from her first, and I tried to match her energy.

I don’t know what my mother went through when she turned 40, as an artist. I know she was a mom of two by that time, but I gathered — especially because she was a teaching artist for so many years — that she was hustling, jumping between these different roles, trying to make sense of something for herself. In that way, I feel like the movie and my journey as an artist brought me closer to her. I was like, Oh, this is what you had to go through. And then you had two kids on top of that?

In the film, your character is also a teacher. As much as she tries to model support and positivity, sometimes the frustration seeps through. One line stayed with me: “Don’t think that because you created something, people will appreciate it.” RB:

Yeah, I have been bitter. I was able to transform that into a film; it gave me a story to tell. But I did feel that theater as an institution didn’t pay off, there wasn’t much of a dividend. I had done a play in 2011 called Seed, and everyone was like, “Girl, this is your breakout! This is your moment! This play is going on Broadway!” None of that shit happened. Theater was not responding in the same way. I was quietly devastated by it, and I think the movie is my exploration of the why. How come things didn’t happen for me? Here’s someone who has been trying for 20-something years and my biggest accomplishment was 10 years ago when I was 30. That’s why I invented the 30 Under 30 award for my character: The idea that accomplishments are amplified by one’s proximity to youth. There’s no 50 Under 50 award. Or 60 Under 60. Being young and doing something as an artist seems more of a cause for celebration. You know what I mean?

There’s also this theme of displacement that runs through the film. In addition to your protagonist feeling out of place in the classroom and in the theater community, she’s also setting a play, Harlem Ave, that deals with gentrification. RB:

So, my parents were gentrifiers in their own way in the late 60s and 70s, when they moved to the south side of Williamsburg, Brooklyn. They didn’t displace people, because what they and their artist and jazz musician comrades would do is take over dilapidated spaces that were considered unlivable — broken-down lofts and factories and storefronts — and create community. There was an investment in engaging the community that came before you, whereas now I think gentrification really is just about an opportunity for the person moving in — “Oh, look at this dope, cheap brownstone that I can get” — with no regard for what came before.

Right. RB: The same thing happens with these artistic institutions: They find a dilapidated space, they revive it and put a million dollars into it. Then when it comes to programming, the people on the stage don’t look like the people outside of the gate. They’re thinking of their silver-haired patrons, because those people can afford a $100 ticket, and that is who I feel most of the theaters cater to. So when diversity shows up on the stage, it’s a version of diversity that protects the audience from feeling bad about racism or sexism. They can still remain in a comfortable place, so they can come back next week or next month and see something for the $300 membership.

But then you brilliantly juxtapose said institutions with the battle rap in the Bronx. RB: I wanted to show these different hubs of art in New York. This film is about capturing an authentic New York experience, and so we shot that battle rap scene at a warehouse space at the tip-top of the Bronx. Art and culture are happening in these spaces that we’re not always focusing the camera on and that don’t have the multimillion-dollar renovation fund of a downtown theater. But this is theater. This is art.

Is that battle based on an actual show? RB:

Yes. Well, we recreated that. Babs Bunny, who people may recognize from Making the Band, created this brand called Queen of the Ring. If you go on YouTube, you’ll see their battle raps. I would watch them because I just needed to see women slaying shit and not being proper or polite. I just wanted to put it into a cinematic world.

Your pen is equally hard-hitting, Radha. Rhymes like “Poverty Porn” and “This Some Bullshit” do so much in revealing character, advancing the narrative. RB:

Thank you. I mean, I feel like if we’re stopping to listen to a song, it should still be about advancing the narrative. We’re still moving forward, riding on this person’s frustration, but into the next scene, next act, or what have you. I think it comes from being a playwright, making sure that everything is earned and not just thrown in there for novelty or because it’s colorful and interesting. I feel like RadhaMUSprime is probably an explosion of her consciousness, the things that she’d been suppressing.But yeah, I’m an emcee. I rhyme. The beautiful thing about the film is I didn’t have to become a professional rapper. I don’t feel like the movie is 8 Mile. I say the movie is 2 Mile,

because she’s not trying to go that far. She’s not trying to be a hip-hop star. For her, hip-hop is a meditation and it shows up in many ways, from the trap beat floating outside her window, to her freestyling in the mirror, or with the dudes in the basement cypher at Arlene’s Grocery.

In some ways, the moral and artistic struggles of The Forty-Year-Old Version remind me of Hollywood Shuffle, Robert Townsend’s 1987 classic. RB:

I appreciate that you bring up Hollywood Shuffle, because I know that because I’m Black and I’m shooting in black and white, people always make the comparison to She’s Gotta Have It. But I feel like my film calls back to Hollywood Shuffle, about a Black artist confronting the white gatekeepers on who gets to tell a Black story and how.

Exactly. And like Townsend, you wrote, directed, and starred in your own first feature film. How was that experience, and do you think you would do it again? RB:

I wouldn’t say I regret being in my film, but I think that there’s probably more of a fascination with my film because I’m in it. And I have too much respect for actors to call myself one. I don’t come from training. I don’t sit in these auditions day after day. I don’t have to endure seven callbacks for a role. I just think that when an audience is familiar with a face, it might make it easier for them to go down the line with this person. So while I don’t plan on being in another one of my films, I do plan on mining my family legacy for storytelling, and on telling stories where music is a driving force.I really want to be an auteur. I’m hoping that my stories get quieter. Very quiet, but very potent. A slow burn, but such a beautiful payoff. I want to make work like that.

Amen.

Photographs:

Radha Blank on set, t & m

Radha Blank with her fellow cast members

[claraxbarton]

MCU Bucky Barnes

So here’s the thing.

I’m a costume designer by trade, and one thing that I actually really love about Captain America: The Winter Soldier (okay, among the things I love) is the costume design and the rhetorical value given to the clothes and, well, costumes in this movie. 

For example - when Sam and Steve have their heart to heart on the bridge that ends with Sam saying “but he doesn’t even know you” and Steve saying “he will” before going to steal his old uniform - the one Bucky last saw him in when he was Bucky. There are some other great costume points in this movie, actually a LOT of them (costumes, not wigs, don’t at me because I KNOW).

But one thing that has always stood out to me, and not in a good way, is the “I’m with you til the end of the line” flashback.

Now, here’s the thing, it’s not JUST about the clothes. We’re in MCU verse, so it’s MCU canon - obviously, the Steve and Bucky duo is drastically different in Marvel comics canon so - and Bucky starts this scene by saying his folks wanted to give Steve a ride to the cemetery.

Which is super cool and nice. So one, we know Bucky’s dad is still alive - and his mom, but two, we know they have a car.

So this is supposed to be when Steve is around 16? So it’s... 1936 (according to MCU wiki it totally is)

So cars.

Crazy popular ever since they started having closed bodies and all that. BUT, were they crazy popular in CITIES in 1936? Especially in the middle of the Great Depression?

There’s some evidence that actually no, that car ownership in a city like NYC was something like 1 car per every 43 people. Then again, looking at the NYC.gov 2015 Mobility Report we see that the population of NYC in 1936 is something like 7.2 million, and the number of registered vehicles in 764,000... or roughly one per every 9.4-ish persons. Which is a pretty drastically different number. This doesn't, of course, account for taxis or fleet cars being registered - so the number might seem inflated. I still think it’s probably something closer to 1 car per every 20 than every 43 but... I’m too lazy to dig that much deeper at the moment. Plus I'm sick, which is fueling this in the first place.

So, anyway you slice it, Bucky’s family was in 11%, 5% or 2.33% of New Yorkers who own cars in 1936. Which says something, I think, about Bucky Barnes that we don’t always - ever? - think of in fandom.

I’m not going to say that Bucky Barnes was loaded. Maybe his family owned a garage or a grocery store or a delivery service or a funeral home...?? or something. So, the vehicle could be occupational as opposed to private usage - but either way it’s a statement. Bucky’s family has money and/or Bucky’s family has steady employment.

I’ve been there. I’ve read the fics where Bucky works at the docks to put Steve through art school and get him his medicine. I love those fics. I love that head canon.

But I... don’t think it’s realistic in light of some evidence showing us that, actually, Bucky wasn’t doing too badly for himself.

Let’s now actually look at CLOTHING. Here’s the whole scene via youtube, if you want to follow along with what is about to get RIDICULOUS.

Actually, before I dive in, who is the costumer for this movie? And should I be like... reading into all this as much as I am?

Judianna Makovsky - fellow New Jersey..Ian?ite?no clue - 3 time Oscar nominee and designer of 5 MCU films and a lot of other big budget movies, including quite a few period pieces dealing with issues of race and class (The Legend of Bagger Vance, Seabiscuit, The Little Princess.. and also like Harry Potter and The Quick and the The Dead.) So, should I have some faith in Judianna Makovsky’s designs? I’m gonna go with yeah, yeah I should. 

So, back to the movie. The scene.

This is post funeral. We’re in 1936. As a general rule, the dress, colors and style of mourning wear was pretty much formalized in the early Victorian era. There was a great - read PHENOMENAL - exhibit at the MET a few years back on Mourning-wear and I’m still reeling from how lovely everything was - but the gist of it is this: you wore black when someone died. If you were a lady, and especially if you were a rich lady, you then went through a few different colors (dull black to SHINY black to purple/mauve and gray and white and then back to color within six months to one year). By the 1930s only the really rich were sticking to the actual rules of mourning - or like, really old people. And, of course, really old rich people. Really old rich WHITE people. Because it needs to be said: these are WHITE customs. I'm not saying people of other ethnicities didn’t follow them, but these are basically British Victorian practices that were assimilated into American culture.

I’m not going to go off on a huge sidebar about American fashion following in French dressmaking and British tailoring, but I need to say at least that much. Everyone who was anyone knew you got your dresses made in France or in the French style and you got your suits made in England - Savile Row in specific. I am NOT implying Bucky’s got himself an English suit, fyi. I just... have to be thorough.

BACK TO THE SCENE:

We’ve got our boy Steve. STEVE. Who just buried Sarah Rogers and what is he wearing...?

For starters, he’s wearing a windbreaker, check out the 1933 ad below, he’s the guy almost giving us the Fonz finger gesture, or maybe guy in the fedora on the end.

This thing isn’t falling apart at the seams, but it’s a very nondescript not really gray, not really blue - maybe was at one point. It also doesn’t FIT Steve. It also, in the ad above, would cost about $165.40 in today’s money.

My guess? It’s Bucky’s old windbreaker. Because it’s not cheap and because it’s just a bit too big on Steve. 

He’s also wearing a shirt that is maybe tan? And a brown tie and maybe - MAYBE black trousers. And if those trousers are black, it’s the only black thing he’s wearing. Not even a black tie, or a black arm band (which I’m pretty sure - but also pretty aggressively atheist so I don’t know - the Catholic Church would have provided for chief mourners and pall bearers right?). We also have our depressing as all shit Depression surroundings to clue us in: Steve Rogers ain’t loaded. Steve Rogers is poor as dirt. Side note: boys. Hiding a key under the ONE FUCKING BRICK on a walkway is not like... a smart idea???

So we can guess a few things here, we can guess that Steve and Sarah were really struggling - this checks out with the rest of MCU canon (wearing newspapers stuffed in his shoes, even when he had nothing he had Bucky, etc.) - and that all money probably went towards Steve’s numerous ailments, food and then the TB medication or treatment, as it was, that was available to Sarah.

We can maybe guess that Steve and Sarah weren’t very religious -but I don’t feel qualified to impart anything except my own agenda here so I’m not taking that stance. But like, real talk, not even an arm band?? 

But, well, let’s move on to the point of this whole long ass thing anyway?

--

Then we go to Mr. Barnes, looking dapper AF. Also, hey, check out this ad from 1933 featuring... pretty much exactly what Bucky is wearing down to the god-damn two-tone shoes:

If you’re curious, yeah $24.98 in 1936 is $475.44. I'm not suggesting Bucky Barnes went out and bought a brand new suit for Steve’s mother’s funeral - for one thing, this ad is from 1933. BUT, that suit fits Bucky. Quite well, and it’s in good shape. He’s also sporting that super stylish mid-late 30s into 40s deeply angled collar shirt - as is our dude up in the ad - and so we know these clothes are at least new-ish. We also can see that the suit is definitely of the mid-30s moving into the boxy silhouette of the later 30s and early 40s and NOT the look of the 20s and early 30s, which has an almost bell-bottom fullness to the legs instead of our straight-leg here (though we can debate nuance if you want to hit up my DMs.)

I should note, Bucky’s shirt is not bright and pristine white - it’s kind of grayish? And I can’t tell if that’s supposed to be an old-timey sepia thing or an indication that Bucky can’t afford to... bleach a white shirt? So that’s an odd choice for sure because we’re still in an age when a crisp, white collar shirt means something (Hey, if you want to hear me go on about the democratization of men’s fashion via shirt collars and 19th century Victorian suits, let me know because I am READY).

All this is to say: I don’t think Bucky Barnes is a poor dock worker. I think Bucky Barnes of MCU canon. Okay, so the MCU wiki on Bucky/The Winter Soldier is an actual mess (because it tells us that Sarah died in 1936 and that’s FINE but I’m not going back to change my math because I’m SICK so just... I went back and changed it. She died in 1936. Fine. The damn wiki also says that “a year later, during their art class, Barnes and Rogers found out that the United States of America had joined World War II. Which, like, I’m sick, but there are a few years between 1936 and December 8 1941... just... I’m no rocket doctor but...

ANYWAY. Bucky is a three time YMCA welterweight boxing champion by this “year later”/ 1941-1942. He and Steve are also in an ART CLASS together. Bucky also trained Steve in boxing at Goldie’s gym before the two of them went to enlist - Steve rejected and Bucky, again quoting MCU wiki, “drafted” (which I'm gonna take to mean he didn’t try to enlist when Steve got rejected, they went home and Bucky got called up later but... hey, who knows?!).

So, I can’t easily find the prices of gym memberships in NYC in the 1930s right now because I don’t feel like wading through all of the articles complaining about Equinox pricing in 2019. But I do know that part of Roosevelt’s WPA (Works Progress Administration) building projects included building more public gyms - as well as libraries, auditoriums, pools, parks etc. Check out your local public buildings - if they are WPA projects they will have a cool plaque like my local NJ library does! All that is to say, there were free or very cheap PUBLIC options where Bucky could have trained Steve.

Bucky trained Steve in a private gym. Do I like to think that this is the same gym Steve and America’s ass are working out in in The Avengers? Yes, Yes I do. Do I like to think that Steve likes to box because it reminds him of Bucky? Yes, yes I do.

But moving on: it’s another sign of wealth.

So is this “art class.” Whether we are in 1937 or 1941 - we’re still in the Depression. Steve still has all of his health issues and presumably accompanying “medication” (wanna talk 1930s medicine? Again, slide into my DMs or shoot me an ask). So Steve either has a side job making enough to cover all of that, rent? and enrollment in an art class.

OR maybe Steve is teaching the art class and Bucky is his model for life drawing instruction (yeah, it’s a fic bunny I’m sharing with the world).

OR maybe... Bucky is paying the rent and other things or Steve is living with Bucky and can afford the class and meds... somehow or...

OR I'm not saying that Steve is Bucky’s kept man because Steve Rogers would punch anyone who dared to say such a thing.

All I’m saying is, Bucky Barnes was not a poor dude. Bucky Barnes... had some money.

And also I’m about to be late for my doctor’s appointment so I gotta run.

At me with your thoughts!