#get me out of this country 😭😭😭
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I have a possible job offer so i’m looking at apartments and wtf the fuck
#text post#WHY ARE RENT PRICES SO HIGH#yall when i was living in japan i had my own place for around 500usd/month#utilites COMBINED was around 100 usd#and of course japan has national health insurance#didnt have a car so didnt have to worry abt any of that bs#didnt have to worry abt loans#groceries were cheap af#the COL in japan is so fckn affordable#get me out of this country 😭😭😭
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last night i got home kind of tipsy and very much in tears and my mother told me the force you exert to keep someone in your life is proportional to the force with which they will leave your life. if you have to fight tooth and claw to keep them, their leaving will be just as hard, just as harsh, and just as definite.
#she said it like a law. its just momentum.#also she told me to get a therapist and start archery ASAP bc i need to get it together#and also she said even granting that this person u were in love w was So Special . as in hot motorcycle-riding iranian masc lesbian in ldn#they arent the only one on earth and that once i start my proper adult life outside of studies etc etc i will probably no longer live in th#UK. she said most non straight iranians u would like have left the country anyway . where do you think they went? theyre out there#and also she asked me to imagine how many hot gay iranians there may be in italy or amsterdam or smth and i was like ok points 😭 maybe#ur right. anyway i was having a feeling of dread bc crying into the arms of ur strict asian mother while buzzed usually results in#death chaos destruction etc in the next few days but actually i think maybe she has genuinely changed as a person and the fear is#unwarranted#anyway i need to eat breakfast and study w the date person i met yesterday#they are so nice ??? genuinely so so sweet i dont feel attracted to them at all omg i genuinely think i have a thing for hot evil ppl 😭#but we could b besties . theyre a lot more romantic than the ex situationship person too like generally . ugh they should be perfect but#alas it appears i am shallow as fuck or potentially a lesbian actually#OH THEY MIGHT ALSO BE POTENTIALLY A LESBIAN BTW#i think i just tend to not date cis ppl entirely by accident#....feel free to rb if u want btw sorry for the rant
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"why couldn't shuro have just been honest about what he felt with laios and falin it's not that hard" are you. are you White
#dungeon meshi#shuro#toshiro nakamoto#look you can hate him for other things but this is very clearly a case of cultures (& personalities influenced by these cultures) clashing#shuro is japanese/east asian-coded and laios is european white boy#i am not japanese but i also come from a collectivistic society#pakikisama is a filipino value both prized and abhorred#it relies heavily on being able to read social cues and prior knowledge of societal norms#shuro being from a different country/culture is important to his character#his repressed nature is meant to contrast with laios' open one like that's the point#they both had similar upbringings but different coping mechanisms#shuro explicitly admits that he's jealous of laios being able to live life sincerely#anyway the point is they were operating on different expectations entirely and neither had healthy enough communication skills#to hash things out before they got too bad#re his attraction to falin i personally believe he unfortunately mpdg-ed her#she represented something new & different. a fresh drink of water for his parched repressed self#alas not meant to be#i'll be honest the way ryoko kui handles both fantasy & regular racism in dm is more miss than hit for me#i don't doubt that a lot of the shuro hate is based off of marcille's pov of him#marcille famously racist 😭#characters' racist views don't often get (too) challenged#practically everyone is casually racist at some point#anyway. again if you're gonna hate shuro at least hate him for being complicit in human trafficking & slavery#he couldn't help falling for the wrong woman goddamn 😭#calemonsito notes#edit: upon further reflection i take back what i said about toshiro mpdg-ing falin!#i'm sorry toshiro 😭
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A Snow Queen Sterek art commission for @nerdherderette !
#Sterek#snow queen#stiles x derek#art commission#fan art#I love any excuse to draw OG fairy tale stuff#seriously I was obsessed as a kid#I read any and every country’s fairy tales I could get my hands on#I still keep an eye out for ones I haven’t read yet#anyway#hi#I hope your day goes well and here’s a little good luck charm for you#⭐️#sorry it finally let me tag you 😭
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saw a post about projecting your ethnicity onto a character and started missing vespa ilkay. so so bad
#pov u grow up in a 3rd world country(/planet) where healthcare workers are exported by the thousands like cheap produce to richer countries#it's your ticket out of poverty as long as you can deal with the loneliness the separation from everyone you know the discrimination etc#ive never talked about my hc that vespas mother was one of them sending money every month visiting every couple of years until it just stop#like why return to the swamps when youre doing fine working on a richer planet w much better living conditions#cost of living rises every year. sending home a % of your salary used to be enough to support your husband and daughter and then it isnt#you know how it goes#vespa is also dead set on this path until ranga realizes that hemorrhaging healthcare workers leaves them with little to none of their own#students on scholarships or in community/state universities are bound by return service agreements and are forbidden to leave the country#until theyve rendered a few years of work on ranga to pay back their tuition + as a really shitty solution to the brain drain problem#this is real in my country btw but my professors say a lot of ppl do break their rsa's and fucked off to work in other countries LOL#our state unis can barely afford decent facilities they do nottt have the budget to chase down their own alumni in other countries!#but the mental image is a bit funny#vespa ilkays first crime: tinakasan ang rsa#i do also think it lines up with her having a network of med friends everywhere in the galaxy (heart of it all) you kind of go into pre/med#expecting most of your classmates to leave to work in other countries eventually. mine are aiming for the usa / uae / europe / japan etc#anyway whether vespa breaks her rsa or not she leaves ranga asap decides to switch careers and the rest is history#i also deeply love the fact that she's superstitious i'm very sad it wasn't highlighted more (i've only heard s1-3)#as someone who did grow up in a rural area and went to more albularyos/folk healers than doctors in my childhood. (they never failed me)#lots of folk illnesses (ex. balis; pasma) local medical superstitions (dont eat noodles in hospital; youll have a really toxic shift) etcc#theres also a lot of potential in tying her past as a rangian + med student + assassin to me idk how to word this properly#being raised on cautionary tales of not to touch/disturb anything in the swamps then being given free reign to poke & prod at things in her#lab classes (now with the proper ppe)....she was having so much fun with the curemother prime too lmao#years of walking hanging bridges docks boathouses in ranga etc gave her great balance & stealth#cracking open alien shellfish in the swamps to cutting open bodies for studying then for assassination....#I MISS HER SO MUCH BALIK KN SAKEN 😭😭😭😭😭😭#i get why most people + the canon focuses on her being an assassin bc people find that cooler i guess#but vespa being a swamp girl > 3rd world med student > assassin is so personal To Me. the whole pipeline. eugh.#skl.txt
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I just caught up with the manga and found out it's about to end 😭??? I'll miss them 💔
#insomniacs after school#kimi wa houkago insomnia#insomniacs after school fanart#isaki magari#sketch#my art#drawing#art#fanart#sketchbook#Really enjoyed the latest chapters even the fact that we got a time skip I wish it could go on longer :((#And ahhh it seems I actually started reading it like exactly a year ago?! I didn't even realize 😭!! It was July 31st..#I remember reading it all in 2 days shsh I loved it sm I actually couldn't sleep#and now a year later there's one chapter left 🥲#and we got an anime too and I still didn't watch it! now will be a perfect time...#also just found out the manga recently started getting released in my country!!?! And no one told me 😭!#I wanted it so bad back thennn and now it's finally happening 🥺 I'll have them on my shelf soon 🤲#ahh this manga really was so great#I love the artstyle so much and the characters and dialogues everything#it just felt so real#love it sm :((#sad that the ending got so rushed thooo I wonder why#but eh waiting for the final chapter!#read Insomniacs after school fellas
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...
#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog#didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move#across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s#so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help#with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the#location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright#colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird#like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the#southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December#it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but#i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and#jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen#im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and#the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier#for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy#but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked#up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents#r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes#better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book#like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭#so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-]#unrelated
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i got mail... what could it be.. oh its propaganda from mr orbán himself .. paid with my taxes? .. they really shoulnd't have...
"Brussels is funding hamas" "gyurcsány" "ukraine bad" "brussels bad" (x10) "migrants" "we must protect our children from the gays" "ukraine is at war thats why we shouldt let them join the eu and also because our eu funds will go to them" "ukranian GMO grains are forced on us" "brussels is FORCING us to CHANGE our way of life they are DESTROYING us"
oh my fucking god
#'brussels is funding hamas' 😭 bro..#btw. its illegal to do even centrist peace protests about the palestinian genocide here#they straight up banned every protest that would show any kind of solidarity with palestinians#'we dont condone ukraine fighting (back) we want peace uwu' then they voted no on the palestinian ceasefire#i fucking hate this country bro. get me out of here#azért a lófasznak is van vége. kurva anyjukat.#they make these '''surveys''' '''asking for your opinion'''' like every year and spend a bunch of money on it#the questions are usually structured like 'Brussels is forcing us to accept aggressive LGBT propaganda being shown to our children. we have#to fight back. do you agree?' 'yes i agree we shouldnt let brussels force being gay on our children' 'i think they should force this on us'
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on the one hand i've never lived in a proper city before and i'm slightly terrified but FUCK am i excited to live somewhere with a proper cinema next year
#thought now that i'm finished with my degree i would go to the cinema more often#the cheap cinema is showing: the little mermaid. guardians of the galaxy 3. the super mario bros movie. and across the spiderverse#the expensive cinema is showing fast x. the super mario bros movie. are you there god it's me margaret. and book club the next chapter#i just want to see a real movie 😭#there are so many interesting films i want to see that are *technically* out in uk cinemas#just not if u live anywhere other than a big city#i have a friend who lives in london and she goes to the bfi cinema basically every day#where i come from we have one cinema that only gets movies two months after their main release#and this is what drives people to piracy bc i literally have the money and the inclination to see these films at the cinema#but i literally can't!!!!#but [redacted] where i'm living next year is like. the third or fourth biggest city in the country#so i'm hopeful <3#anyway rant over lmao#🧃
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got my first shift at my first Real Job tmrw night ending at 1am wml😔😔😔
#i love how flexible the shifts are and they're all really short it's like ideal for me but also. omfg. scary 😭#gritting my teeth. i need money to leave this shithole country and i need a job to get money it's fine. this is fine#it's literally so discouraging to know ppl in the west have minimum wages of like 15 euros meanwhile it's literally 3 eur here#like even if you work hard you're only earning a fraction of what you could be if you were doing the same shit out there😭#just like. the inherent agony of knowing im earning money that's gonna be way less valuable out there#but im not on minimum wage and it's flexible but shoulddd be around 5 - 15 euros an hour#it's the only reason i even applied at least this way i can tell myself im actually making a positive dent in my savings#idek how much i have saved rn coz i never spend on anything and I've been saving since i knew what money was#but forint is literally not worth the paper it's printed on anymore like man i remember when#a euro was worth 200 forint.... i literally have the same coins i did when i was 10 but they're worth less than half as much now. crazy#man I should've gone into economics or global politics for real i love this shit. whatever that's a whole different spiral#barking
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Why did you block meeee!!!!!!! 😭
#sxthee posts#text#for context: i reached out to this person thru email for research and then didnt answer for DAYS and EVEN WEEKS#bc of that we had to drop them as our guest speaker and be just a participant in our research#i found their fb and friend requested them first since the email doesnt seen to be working#and they said they'll get back to it since they were busy#they even thanked for the follow up#aND THEN NOW THEY BLOCKED ME RAHHHH#we were assigned a specific country and the country is PARTICULARLY HARD TO REACH CAUSE INTERNET ISSUES 😭#so now were back to square one.#gotta find more people AND WERE GRADUATING SOON HOW ARE WE TO CRAM THIS IN A SPAN OF A FEW WEEKS???#WE HADNT HAD OUR PAPERS APPROVED AND SIGNED YET 😭😭#I GIVE UPPPPP#research#practical research
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Laughing at the fact DB asked me to “come over” like okay first of all we’re on the other side of the world from each other second … literally WHAT would we do if I went to America I know exactly what would happen and there is little to nothing else that could stem from such a trip other than that. That’s a lot of money and effort spent travelling just for that bro get a girl in your own country goddamn 😭
#everyone knows there would be nothing friendly going on if I went LMFAO boys are so obvious you just have to play along to give them the#satisfaction of them *thinking* they’re tricking you or taking advantage but you’re just sitting there cause they help you take up time and#they can be entertaining sometimes#they’re so daft istg like bro you think you’re using me ? you’re not I’m *letting* you use me there’s a difference 😭#dora daily#keep in mind we had been taking for a consecutive couple of days and he says this#like if we were talking for some months or a year I’d get it but bro#you know nothing of me literally what would we do over there together#his reaction to me telling him the Eris story was also telling cause he didn’t react at all because he was doing the exact same to me LMFAOO#I’m so funny guys he’s funny for that too#yk what he asked after? he was like are you into girls ? that was his only concern 😭#like bro I bet you if I was into girls he would try to change me too#it would be a challenge in his eyes#because he knew I was aroace yet he still said things implying I’ll grow out of it#brother …. what if I don’t 😭#anyways funny story time yay#like brother I am not going to that shit ass country only to come back bearing a discord boy junior LMFAO I’m sobbing that’s foul#also I’m not gonna be with a computer science major nuh uh have you not seen the stereotype that’s nasty 😭#I’m only with an architect :3#I’m already in a relationship :333
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just learned 2 of my classmates are getting married (to clarify,,, not with each other, with different people lmao) and it's crazy like whattttt do you meannnnn we just graduated . yesterday
#im out here rotting and waiting for a scholarship and people are getting MARRIED.......... how can this be#btw yeah can i get a result of ANY of these scholarships already like 🔫🔫🔫#i already started the process and all haha like can you imagine if i didnt get any scholarship at this point. i would literally kms#the deadlines on these stuff are so........... anxiety inducing like i had to apply for ACCOMMODATION#and i still dont feel like i know for sure that i will be going 😭#but can u imagine me in a different country in 4 months....... wrow#baby's first life experience ever UwU#and i cant stress this enough people are getting MARRIED at this time . crazy stuff#🗒
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spotify why r u recommending me a song called "Dicked Down in Dallas"
#spotify just played it n i thought it was a normal country song so i wasnt rly paying attention then all of a sudden bro starts singing abt#getting “butt fucked in boston” 😭⁉️HELLO!?!?!?!#like snapped me out of what i was doing#cam says stuff
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having egg and milk allergies is literally so unbelievably exhausting in the southern us where ppl are so weirdly vile towards the existence of vegans and vegan food
#i'm not vegan but obvsly the existence of vegan food is helpful for me#and sometimes it's like mentally n emotionally exhausting having milk/egg allergies like it sounds so stupid but it's disheartening#trying to figure out things that i can like.... Eat#i've been eating my allergies for a while cuz they just made me a little sick but i think they're getting worse lately bc my#throat is getting swollen and etc which spooks me so i'm like welp time to cut out all allergens again#but it's so exhausting finding alternatives and never being able to eat out w/o feeling annoying i'm so 😭#also vegan alts being more expensive n w/e bc ofc they are#wish this country was less difficult for ppl with food allergies or dietary restrictions like#drags hands down face#daily life complaining hi KNJERNHKJNM#ʚ o. out of character ɞ ⁄ otome games are my thirteenth reason.#ʚ x. delete ɞ ⁄ an eye for an eye‚ a leg for a leg : a shot in the heart doesn’t make it unbreak.#why couldn't i be allergic to smth that isn't in 90% of food
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It feels weird going back into normal life and having to handle a bunch of responsibilities again I feel like I need another break between my vacation and irl stuff FHCJDJDNGNGJ
#i really shouldve given myself an extra day to adjust 😭#going between two diff countries is super jarring..#idk maybe its also bci didnt really rest in japan i was constantly going out#and now i just get up and have to stay at my comp for work#and the huge culture difference between here and japan is giving me whiplash too ig?
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