#guess i have a talent for that but it doesn't make my life easier also

[adore-gregor]

So

[vultbae]

water and oil ✩

tashi duncan x female reader blurb

↳ summary: the two female college tennis archenemies play against each other.

↳ warnings: angst, being closeted.

↳ notes: english is not my first language pookies! also, I couldn't believe there aren't almost any Tashi fics??? and happy pride! not proof-read btw

word count: 1.1k

An ear-piercing scream rips through the air, slicing through the ambient noise of the tennis court like a knife, instantly making your body freeze. Your chest aggressively compresses as you watch your lifetime opponent, Tashi Duncan, fall on her back and crumple to the ground in agony, hands clutching her injured knee as if trying to hold herself together. 

Everything has diverted into penetrating silence, and you feel your racket gradually slipping from your fingers, the once-familiar weight slipping away unnoticed as you stare at Tashi Duncan with shock and a rigid, fast-pounding heart. Her face is a torturous portrayal of suffering, with knitted eyebrows and a constant audible sob escaping her lips.

You can't —or are incapable— of moving a muscle; they have locked themselves with a key you forgot where you placed. Instead, you stare with tears brimming at the corners of your eyes, threatening to spill over but held back by sheer will. Suddenly, the sour mutterings from the crowd began to stab the thick fog of your shock. At first, the voices were just a faraway hum, but soon, the words became crystal clear.

"Why isn't she helping her?" 

"Look at her—she doesn't even care. She will win by default."

"They hate each other; she won't help." 

You are aware that the public perception of your rivalry with Tashi is intense, fueled by years of competitive clashes on and off the court. So, technically, they aren't wrong. You kind of hate each other, at least publicly. Even college recruiters had recognized early on that your rivalry was too severe to coexist on the same team—you for UCLA and Tashi for Stanford. You are polar opposites in playing style and temperament, each embodying traits that clash rather than complement. 

While other tennis players in your age group get praised for their ability to work beautifully together, Tashi and you resemble more water and oil.

And water and oil don't mix. 

Your heart sinks further as your gaze shifts from Tashi Duncan to the male figure now hysterically rushing onto the court. He is tall and good-looking, with blonde curls and an exaggerated expression of concern that you find melodramatic and infuriatingly genuine all at once. Recognition dawns upon you like a dark cloud—Art Donaldson, the young tennis promise Tashi had been talking to lately, also from Stanford.

The sight of Donaldson crossing onto the court, jumping over the net without hesitation, and acting like a wannabe hero stirs a mixture of sour emotions within your core—jealousy, resentment, and a deep sense of helplessness. Of course, it makes absolute sense Tashi Duncan is dating a handsome, talented tennis player from her same school... and guess what? He came to the rescue! You internally cringe at the horrid thought of everyone applauding him for caring for your girlfriend.

The crowd's accusatory murmurs continue behind your back. Your fists clench at your sides, nails digging into your palms as you follow Art Donaldson's silhouette kneeling beside Tashi's body with eyes filled with hostility and envy. You watch as he gently takes Tashi's hand in his, his facial expression softening as he murmurs charming words of reassurance to the girl deliriously in pain. You can't tolerate it. You stay there, still torn and immobilized, with your mind racing and endeavoring to decide what to do. 

"Sometimes I wish I was a dude," you murmured, voice barely above a whisper in the quiet of Tashi's dimly lit college dorm. Tashi's fingers lightly brushed through your hair but abruptly stopped. "If I was that Patrick dude or the other blonde guy, my life would be ten times easier."  

You heard her sigh. 

"But you wouldn't be as good at tennis," Tashi softly replied, and you could tell she was avoiding conflict at all costs. 

A beat.

"But I would have you," you said, turning your head to face Tashi, whose expression remained reflective and contradictory as she stared into the soft glow of the lamp lying on her night table. "I promise that's all that matters to me, Tash," you reassured.

Your eyes met, each with equal sorrow and frustration. Tashi broke eye contact first.

Tashi knew that picking arguments with Patrick was very easy, and she didn't have the urge to speak of anything else annexed from tennis and sex with him. You somehow managed to actively amuse her with conversations regarding your crusty dog back home, the food you have tried when you travel abroad, and everlasting anecdotes that provoke you to giggle and steal a genuine smile from Tashi's lips every single time. 

And it wasn't too long after you exchanged your first words in private for her to realize she loved you. But not in a chummy way. Tashi romantically loved you.

But she never said it. Tashi just guessed you would assume she maniacally loved you, and you would satisfy yourself with that.

But the belief of Tashi loving you felt unimaginable in situations like this.

And now, the panorama of them together reflecting a couple straight out of a film—Art's concern etched on his face, Tashi's distress requiring attention—served as a stark, fucking bitter reminder of the captivating image they could market for years. They look perfect, they look—right.

So, why bother ruining Tashi's career? If her key to branding conquest is right there, kneeling next to her aching body in the form of a six-foot gorgeous tennis player.

In that rare moment of clarity, you make a sore, silent vow to honor your secret, to continue navigating the labyrinth of hidden tenderness and affection if Tashi doesn't decide to drop you after this.

But, as you are one intrusive thought away from stepping out of the court —or, better said, escape— Tashi's hazel orbs, flickering with anxiety and in between dried and brand-new tears, disembark on your outline. Internally, she wonders why you cry —at least as much as her, and you wish you could clarify is because you feel powerless. You are powerless. 

Tashi stares one, five, fifteen, thirty seconds. She doesn't quit. You stare back. Encircling her, the Stanford medical team consoles her and provides instructions to which she doesn't pay attention. To her right side, and almost covering the view of her, the blonde guy starts to question what —or who— she is looking at.

You mouth, "I love you."

Tashi's eyes widen slightly in surprise, and you can see that little pout of hers appearing over her lips.

Art turns to track Tashi's gaze, falling over you.

And when he's not looking, Tashi mouths back.

"I love you too."

And that's what matters because no one else needs to know that water and oil can mix.

[web-novel-polls]

Hidden Web Novel Character Submissions

Last Checked: September 20th, 2024 - Please check the original post for updates

Death to popularity bias! Submit any character you'd like, and they'll compete completely anonymously.

Rules

Must be a character from a web novel or similar

Propaganda must be sufficient to judge without giving away the character (just do your best, no stress)

Write the propaganda with the character's name, and I'll edit it out for the tournament itself

No limits or rules for the length of the propaganda. Either people read it or they don't

Please do not reveal a character’s identity if you guess it. If you want to guess anonymously and/or submit additional propaganda, you can do so here:

Based on:

@guess-that-ship

@mysterycharacterflowers

& others I can't find

Tag: #hidden wn character tournament

Alcoholic

Submission:

[Alcoholic] woke up in the body of a guy on Earth some years in the past and decided(read got forced) to go into the entertainment industry.  This guy egosurfs a lot, was an alcoholic and got an intervention for it. Plus he goes to therapy!! Also got kidnapped once and escaped by beating up the kidnapper . There was also the one time he went into a parallel universe.

Mod Propaganda: [Alcoholic] (seemingly) starts the novel with a “I’ll do anything to survive” mindset but grows to genuinely care about and for his friends while dealing with a LOT. He’s smart and calculating, which also manifests itself in supporting his friends and the people around him AS WELL AS himself.

Boccia

Submission (Edited to remove identifying info): 

He’s a demon. He wanders the human realm to find little human trinkets, possibly to sell them. He is a good boy who wants to make a living, and deserves to be acknowledged.

Farmer Guy

Submission: [Farmer Guy] was reborn in a xianxia world after living a boring life as a civic engineer in Canada. He spent about 24 hours in a cultivation sect before quitting due to bullying and corruption in the sect, and decided to move to bumfuck nowhere to take up farming instead. After all, superstrenght & endurance makes it way easier to pull a plow, put up buildings & so on. So why is his chicken starting to do martial arts?

Moonlight

Submission: 

[Moonlight] is the boy of all time. From his perspective, he successfully scouted out a talented new coworker, got blatantly propositioned while the ink was still wet on the contract, thought "wow, this guy is forward, but we really need his skills so... okay," within a month had fully progressed to, "it's fine to get married first and fall in love later," and then just. fell SO HARD. for a guy who, in his own POV sections, HAD NO IDEA his behavior even could be interpreted as flirty. For his actual character, the gap moe between "doting thinks-he's-a-boyfriend" and "super serious taskmaster" is adorable. 

Sunshine

Submission: 

My sunshine son!! Got isekai'd into another world pretty similar to his original one, and basically just went "welp, time to restart my career from the bottom! I did it once, I can do it again!"  Re: the differences from his original world, he straight-up just asks people questions and takes notes in front of them? And when they're like "how do you not know this, this is preschool level knowledge," he just laughs and goes, "yeah, I'm really forgetful and didn't pay attention in school." Iconic, honestly. Still doesn't stop him from mistaking social cues so thoroughly that he  accidentally gets into a romantic relationship without realizing it, due to having multiple chicken-and-duck conversations with his would-be boyfriend. (He got into the situation by basically propositioning the guy without noticing, having not paid attention to the social differences between worlds.)

Poor Single Dog

Submission: 

[Poor Single Dog]! My brilliant dumbass son! He's so book smart, yet can't see what's right in front of his face. He's really concerned about losing his Best Friend Status when the protags start spending time together (read: going out, because they're in love). There is no level of PDA he can't misunderstand as mere friendship. When he FINALLY gets hit by a clue-by-four (read: walks in on the main couple cuddling while doing the dishes, and one of them says, quote, "This is EXACTLY what it looks like!") his reaction is: [Poor Single Dog] remained silent for what seemed like a century. Finally, amidst his chaotic thoughts, he said: “You….so….then, am I still your best friend?”

[bosskie]

Draw Abe and Molluck kissing.

'You know, Abe, I always somehow liked you. I didn't name you the employee of the year for nothing. I designed Mudokon Pops look like you for a reason. I would still have enjoyed killing you, I wasn't even supposed to like you, so killing you including my own feelings toward you would have been the right choice. You, blue bastard, ruined my life but also saved it... I have dreamed of crushing you but now, instead of that, I feel another kind of desire of a crush. Kiss me, you schmuck!' Molluck told Abe after they had done their parts of the deal of helping each other.

I'm actually glad that you suggested me to draw that since I have been joking about Molluck and Abe turning from enemies into lovers but never said a word about it. So, thank you for giving me a reason to draw it! (Y) Yeah, what an odd couple they would be but hey, it's Oddworld! The best 'from enemies to lovers' thing I could still imagine (I know nothing about this stuff though, only the concept).

Frankly, I'm kinda surprised at how little Abe x Molluck stuff I have seen, just one 'spicy' drawing... (I don't know about fan fiction, I don't read it.) So yeah, I personally like this ship. It's not easy to explain why but it just has depth, is odd but 'makes sense'... It's just would be quite interesting in general.

I basically had two ideas for this but I chose this one since I got this 'from enemies to lovers' idea, and well, now I 'came out' with it. I wasn't sure about where to draw them but they are somewhere at Nolybab where the sun doesn't shine, underground I mean. Molluck's name has been cleared and Abe could meet his mother, and it was all thanks to their collaboration. They were reluctant to work together at first but their relationship developed during that, and Molluck let his softer side come out more. This is idea is basically behind this Molluck x Abe thing. I know, it can sound so odd but it's not the first time if I'm odd for something I like; I have heard it for so many times already. Oh, and yeah, maybe you also noticed that Abe has no longer his stitches; it makes the kissing easier too. (Y)

And yeah, this came out more 'proper' than I planned but it's still 'quick-ish' since it's not fully rendered and looks kinda sketchy. This was also challenging to draw and I wasn't' sure of how to draw them kissing, like I didn't want it to be 'too intimate', so something simple enough. I hope that this looks okay at least. I just felt really bad about my drawing skills last night out of nowhere, so I just wish that my art doesn't look like Slog shit. I just kinda don't like how this came out but that 'better image' I have inside my head feels 'too intimate'... Just didn't feel like going 'too far' with this. Also yeah, I used a bit different style here since I'm still trying to figure out my way to do digital art, even I have done it for so many years... It's just that it feels like I'm never pleased with my art style; it makes difficult for me to feel like I had any artistic talent... I'm still always just trying my best.

Let's just say that posting stuff like this in public is difficult for me, even I still would like to post stuff like this... I don't even draw proper self-ship stuff and I rarely even draw it, even I think about myself with Molluck every single day. I guess it's mainly due to my self-hatred, like why I would spend so much time on drawing something only I'll see. I just have never drawn anything as proper as this about me and Molluck. Maybe I should but I cannot help myself but think that it's waste... I'm sorry but I just feel so awful about myself... Last night was just another night when I asked Molluck to eat me... I'm so sorry for this vent but I'm just so tired of this and cannot be silent, pretend that I was okay when I feel like crying...

I still hope that my stuff is enjoyable, even when I feel like I should just delete everything here... It's just because I can see my stuff looking so awful sometimes. I just don't feel like I draw Molluck well enough; he is still challenging to draw... I think that I should end writing for now; I just feel so bad about my stuff right now...

This doesn't really relate to the drawing, anon. This is just the usual stuff my condition makes me feel... But hopefully you like it and don't regret suggesting me to draw that kiss. I really liked drawing this still and that's probably why I painted this more than I planned; the idea of this drawing amuses me. (I tend to enjoy creating stuff in general but I rarely like what I created, the outcome I mean... Oh, and I don't really mind Molluck being with someone else than me. They are just different stories and I'm just glad that Molluck gets love!)

I just have difficulties with expressing love in public (even if it didn't relate to me, being about a ship like this), even I do have done it many times here, told you how much I love Molluck but, it still feels challenging... Like posting my 'Molluck love sculpt' was kinda scary actually but I still posted it, especially because I put so much effort on him. I don't even know what I was afraid of, I'm already used to people seeing me as a weirdo. Maybe I'm just afraid of love because this self-hatred just makes me even wish that no one loved me. But my heart still tells me that it's not true that I'm not someone to love.

Even I love Molluck with my whole heart, wish to hug and kiss him, enjoy his body every single day, it kinda scares me to be loved back... I know, it can sound odd but it's just that I don't see myself worth loving and just wish good for the others when I try to prevent them from loving me since I feel like I'm only waste of everything. My condition really makes me act and think like this. Even I realize how this is unhealthy and I imagine Molluck being confused about this behavior, it's still so difficult to feel like I'm someone to love... But the important thing is at least that I always imagine Molluck loving me, even it's difficult for me to receive that love. Even I do enjoy imagining that Molluck enjoys and loves me too, I still can feel like it's better for Molluck if he didn't... It makes me feel bad/sad but it just feels 'right' since I'm not someone to love...

These awful thoughts just don't wanna leave me alone... And if I sometimes do not vent to my posts, it doesn't always mean that I felt better. It can also mean that I feel like I should be just silent, I'm only ruining everything with my vent... It's just making me feel a bit less alone with this shit when I write this stuff here, and hopefully I can give some peer support. Also, if one day my stuff is gone or if this blog seems abandoned, you know why. I don't wish to bring more negative energy to here but I just cannot hide my condition; I'm just trying to save my life.

~ I really appreciate your tolerance and support!

[averseunhinged]

klaroline fic rec friday #1, i guess? meant to start this up for months, but i'm verbose, and time management is hard.

fine china and dull silver by @yespumpkindoodlesthings

in my dotage, i've been less into the constant hardcore angst consumption of my youth and have pivoted slightly toward fluff. but i'm super picky and it can't be fluff for fluff's sake. like my favorite characters are usually some level of The Worst, and if they're going to gently bake a cake, it has to be a murder cake. if you know what i mean.

this is one of my favorite secret good blorbo fics in this fandom, as well as being a secret good season six. pumpkin doodles is great at a lot of things, but they're especially good at maintaining a certain level of assholery even while fluffing up the place. klaus and caroline are very sweet together in this, but they're still klaus (a complete dick, but he's trying) and caroline (anxious and overcompensating, but she's learning). they're filled with a lot of love, even as they power through some of the major plot points of s6.

it jumps off from friendsgiving, which was the point where i too was like oh fuck this show. it just felt like such a regression to s2 for caroline after her s5 character arc. she came so far and learned so much and suddenly we're back to the menfolk discussing whether she deserves to be loved despite her sin of, like, having some level of expectations for the people in her life.

as for klaus, his TO storylines are cleaned up pretty tidily at the beginning in a way that feels relatively natural without putting anyone through all of that. you understand his problems aren't gone, but having caroline around, someone whose moral compass he actually trusts, goes a long way with him.

and the rest of the ensemble is great, too. everyone still has their foibles (elijah is stiff, damon is irreverent, hayley doesn't care about anyone who isn't designated as pack/family, stefan lacks self awareness, etc.), but it's easy to swallow. everyone is still awful in their own ways, but it feels pleasant to read.

it also touches on the idea that caroline could be devastated that stefan would abandon her without having romantic feelings for him. he's her best friend. he saved her from all the people she should have been able to trust, but who wanted to kill her for something that wasn't her fault. he had faith in her and she put her faith in him. and the previous two times he disappeared off the face of the planet, it was because he was actively being harmed and came back all the worse off for it. it would be soul crushing to find out he gave up on her while she worried about him constantly. that's a much more interesting story,imo, than the watered down side romance it became.

small spoilers under the jump

my favorite part is when caroline figures out that she can't follow through on the impulse to turn her humanity off, because there's someone in her life who very much needs her to be present, who loves her and is notorious for holding onto the people he cares about so hard it can crush them.

“I can tell when you’re actually terrified,” she said. “You want me to stay because if I go off the rails, you go off the rails?”

“Something like that,” he said, noncommittally. He wasn’t going to tell her that he thought it would be uniquely dangerous if both of them abandoned Caroline’s moral code.

“Which makes me responsible for your behavior,” Caroline said. 

“Someone has to be responsible for me,” he said. “Elijah’s really given up--and you’re so much more talented and energetic than he is, really.” She started to laugh and then her laughter turned to rough sobbing. He pulled the car over and wrapped his arms around her. 

“I’m your tower of strength, huh?” Caroline said, through tears.

“Yes,” Klaus said quietly. “I need you.”

“I didn’t think anybody really needed me,” Caroline said.

he won't abandon her and he needs her to not abandon him, even when it would be easier, maybe even kinder in a way to let her turn it off.

[sugirandom]

Major Trigger warnings for mental health issues, low self-esteem, negative body image, dysphoria, misgendering, mention of toxic parents and abuse, it's very personal, not positive so you don't have to read it.

Hey guys, gonna be honest here. My mental health is still pretty shit at the moment. I mean, it hasn't really been particularly good for a while but I completely spiraled after a really honestly trivial experience at Walmart so it just shows me how my tolerance for stress is just not there right now.

The fact that I was only healthy for one week so far this year doesn't help, I got sick again at the beginning of the week because my best bro got sick and inevitably I got sick from him (again). So yeah, I'd just got back to auditioning and felt good about that but now I'm sick again so can't really audition.

We were buying cold medicine at Walmart and apparently they have to check your ID for this medicine. With me, the lady didn't even bother but when my best bro was buying his medicine she asked for his ID and after seeing his birthday said "You look younger than that." and that's the silly thing that set me off. My best bro who is one year older than me being asked for his ID because for some reason he looked under 18 to that cashier and she didn't even bother with me. That's what set me off and I know it's stupid but my brain said "ha, you look old now!" And it went into all my other insecurities.

I realize a lot of what I dislike about myself is stuff I can't change and it's hard for me to swallow that even though I know on a mental level that is what I have to do somehow. I can't wear men's shoes because my feet are too small, I'm constantly being misgendered when I wear my mask probably because of my height and how my hips look. These are also things I can't change. I could dye my hair I guess when I make more money and that would fix some of looking old I guess but the bags under my eyes won't go away unless i fix my insomnia which I've had next to no luck with, especially getting sick again.

I've also just felt insecure about my talents and kept wishing i was just a little more talented so I could actually making a living doing the things I love rather than being forced into doing work I don't want to do if I can even get hired at some point. I know that a lot of my perceptions are warped by my own low self-esteem and being surrounded by one parent who was abusive and another who as much as a I love her was very vain. So I still have a lot of toxic crap I've internalized that I've placed upon myself and it's pretty overwhelming to work through it all. I think my mom passing at an age I feel was way too young also panicked me, that and the fact that she looked much older than she actually was. I guess that's what made me spiral. I guess I thought "Oh, is it happening to me now?" "Do I look 20+ years older than I am." The answer is probably no but my brain won't let me see that.

The craziest part is I'm an Empath so at the end of the day it's possible that all that insecurity I've harbored for myself and my skills and talents could be from my parents, it's how they felt about themselves. My mom with her looks and my stepdad with his talents and skills, he hid it behind pride but we could tell. Writing this out like this is a small first step to healing from it I know, so thank you for putting up with me posting it on here. I don't really know how I'm going to heal going forward but I do want to somehow because I want to succeed in my goals in life and live a life i can be happy with rather than feeling like I'm just going to progressively get worse each year. I want to figure out how to make optimism less exhausting and easier to obtain again.

[phoomwhoosh]

Whomst is rayford? May I ask?

(share more of your oc stuff if you want)

Yessss, thank you so much for asking!

So, Rayford is an OC I've had kicking around since 2018 although technically it's been longer, he was just based roughly off of another character of mine who wasn't named Rayford.

(Cut because I know this is gonna get long lol)

His name is actually a combo of me knowing someone named Ray and misreading "Sanford" as "Stanford" and going, "Well, I don't want to name him Stanford. But Rayford could be a good combo..." and then his surname just popped into my mind one day and I went, "Yeah, okay, there we go. He is named."

I came up with him around the same time I was watching Critical Role (The Mighty Nein campaign) so, naturally, I gave him a dice set because I thought I was gonna play him in a D&D campaign then I decided not to after I saw how he rolled. His dice are super cursed. What I mean by this is, every time I use them for him, they roll really badly. Even after I made him in Baldur's Gate 3, he still rolls like garbage lmao. My boy can't catch a break. (For reference, I use DnD dice to roll for combat stuff in my stories 'cause it makes keeping track of everyone easier.)

His appearance/age has changed over time but four things have remained consistent: he's inherently kind, he's not very perceptive, he's asexual, and he has pink hair. Why did I choose pink? I honestly can't tell you. But it's naturally pink, which is important for me to point out.

The Rayford that I commissioned Cookie for is 16 and a half-elf. No one knows what his other half is, just that his dad vanished one day and reappeared with a baby and they were all like, "Hold on, dude, where did that come from and why does it have pink hair???" His dad never told them who his wife was for Reasons. To Rayford, she was a beautiful pink-haired lady with pretty blue eyes. Did her eyes sometimes glow weird? Sure, but he was a child and gave it no thought because that was his mom and also magic exists. -_o_-

The first five years of his life were excellent, fantastic, his parents weren't murdered. Then they were murdered and the next five years of his life were hell but he held onto his kind nature despite that. Then some stuff happened and he got adopted by someone who genuinely cared for him and made sure he got whatever he wanted. He's not spoiled because he doesn't really ask for anything. He's content with what some might call "ugly grandpa sweaters" (they remind him of his dad) and cutting-up a pair of jeans for shorts (even though his adoptive mom would 100% just buy him a pair of shorts if he would ask). He's just happy about living in a loving home again. That was all he really wanted.

However, he attracts trouble like nobody's business. Actually, that's been another thing that's stayed consistent for this OC. He could bump into a girl and just be helping her pick up her books and her boyfriend sees him doing that and is like, "He's trying to steal my girl!" Rayford is asexual and has no interest in stealing your girl but, well, stupid's gotta stupid. (Alternatively, the OG Rayford walked into a cave once and almost got killed by a wight. He rolled so poorly that day. Failed that perception check almost into unconsciousness.)

Rayford does actually tie-in with Alis and Tali. They all go to the same magic school (which is literally nothing like HP, don't even get me started on how different my world is. I've been cultivating this world for well over a decade).

Anyway, Rayford just transferred to that school from another one and, if he was honest, he wanted to go to this one anyway. Eventually, he meets Tali and Alis and they become friends because Alis is like, "you don't have any friends yet? guess what, meet your new friends ^_^" and Tali rolls with it lol.

Tali is actually going by a nickname because her dad thought it'd be neat to name her "Taliesin." She likes her name and all but going by Tali makes her full name sound like "talented" if it's said fast enough and that's brought her endless amusement.

Alis is pronounced like "Alice" but spelled that way because I just like the spelling for some reason. I seem to have developed an affinity about half-elf/elf names ending with "-is" and I don't know why. It all started with Elder Scrolls: Oblivion...not that it's not every half-elf/elf I make just, you know, I've named more than one like that XD

My "face claim" for Rayford was basically me pointing to one of Cookie's drawings of Daniel and going, "I'm gonna be honest, I love the way you draw Daniel and, obviously, Rayford isn't gonna look exactly like that but you know." So, yeah, his face claim is basically Ralph Macchio lmao. I'm not sorry.

When Cookie showed me the WIP, I had to take a moment because I was like, "That's Rayford omg." Same with Leo when they did Alis and Tali for me! I was all starry-eyed and like, "This is them." I actually combined both pieces into one so I could have all three of them as a desktop background because, genuinely, I love both so much! I do plan on commissioning the rest of the gang one day since there ARE six of them.

In conclusion, here are his cursed dice:

[enneamage]

my dream is to become a content creator, could I have the mage analysis/speech you were mentally drafting up for that other anon, pretty please? curious what you think about it

I might have overestimated how long I would need to go on for, but The Urgency was real. 

If this were more one-on-one, my impulse would be to walk people through their motivations for wanting to be a CC and being sure that those wants wouldn't get met easier somewhere else. It's very possible to truly want to Post, and I'm not trying to be the person who scares people off from their dreams, but if the motivation leans into a general "I want to feel like I make a difference in people's lives", that might be better served by another line of work. I'm saying this part in particular because I've heard people who grew up watching or looking up to CCs can have an outstanding sense of the positive impact that CCs can have on people, and can focus on that as a source of connection and meaning-making over other things. Being a CC can be very lonely, unstable and high-risk, so my impulse is to make sure people are sure what they're signing off on beforehand. 

I guess I think it's important to understand early on that being a CC is the gig economy wearing a wig. A lot of what drives people crazy is how conditional it turns out to be, the lack of stability seems to slowly wear on people's minds and ethics. Maybe it's not that much of a secret, but sometimes the survivor bias around the scene makes it look like it's something that people 'outgrow' as they get bigger, but that isn't fully the case. 

I guess this is the same speech I would give to anyone who wanted to go into 'creative performing' on some level, since "I want to be an actor/singer/writer" became "I want to be a CC" in early life stat gathering. It makes sense-- normal life can feel like there's no room to 'play' or be creative as an adult, so sometimes people come to think of doing something creative as a job as a way to preserve that in their lives. It can look like CCs have maximised freedom from the outside, but they're probably most vulnerable to the wants/needs of the market, and the 'doing your own hours' thing can easily become working all the time with no clear borders. It can be easy for your life and crativity to be co-opted by something you don't have as much control over as you would like. This is the point that I would want to make the clearest, since It's a tragic mistake to make a bid for freedom on one hand and then wind up stuck more consumed by the job than an office 9-to-5. It's a big bait and switch that people sign up for before they can see the other shoe drop, most people are stuck chasing results over fully being able to forge their own path.  

Being a CC also puts people in front of the court of public opinion in a way I'm sure you've seen if you're on this part of tumblr. People can be unfair, obscure in their reasoning, and hard to predict. Sometimes you'll even have to worry that your peers will go after you, which is a whole other thing. I wont go into this part as much since you probably already know, but this is also a big factor that I would want to warn people about. 

I don't know anything about your background, but my hobby is worrying about everybody, so don't take my fretting personally. Like being an actor, someone's gotta do it, and it's never impossible. It's probably enjoyable for the people who are deeply passionate and have a will to develop a talent for it. I just want to provide an alternate speech to the 'but what if it doesn't work out' lecture, since there are plenty of drawbacks that come from things working out 'perfectly' for an imperfect job too. 

[luverofralts]

Arkhelios Adventures

"So I know it's not much, but it's got great potential," Adrian said, gesturing to the lounge around them. "This would make a perfect club. It still has the lights installed from the previous owners. Wanda is offering some impressive rebates to anyone who promises to bring jobs and interest into Arkhelios. It's practically a steal at this price."

Roman looked around him at the pulsing lights and half empty bottles of beer. He'd never been one for the party scene, but charging an entry fee for a club sounded easier to make money quickly than painstakingly crafting an entire meal.

"It's worth going over with the accountant," he conceded. "I'm not sure if it's the right move, but it's a thought. I'll talk to Abe about it."

"Great. Let's break for lunch at that little sandwich shop in Pleasantview. We can review the twins' report cards while we eat. I want to make sure Luci is following the math curriculum well. Her last test was barely passing."

"And Rien's lack of social skills?" Roman suggested.

"That too," Adrian sighed. "Her twin sister can't stop socializing, but Rien doesn't seem to have the talent for it. I know my parents once said that Maura was a shy child. Maybe she can recommend me a resource she might have used. She's certainly charismatic now."

"You can certainly say that," Roman muttered to himself. Maura had no love for him, and she'd been very clear about what she'd do to him if he walked back into her life. Shy was the last thing he'd call Maura.

"Well, after lunch, go home and do wherever needs to be done," Adrian ordered. "Come into the restaurant for the dinner shift. I've got some ideas about how we can improve, but I want you to be surprised. It took quite a few calls to pull it off."

Roman raised an eyebrow, very curious as to the nature of this surprise. Adrian could be extremely thoughtful, but also very set in his ways. Spur of the moment surprises were his specialty, but he never veered too far from his comfort level. Once he had his mind set on something, it was hard to persuade Adrian on a different approach. He and Roman had had disagreements about how to run their business, and whatever this surprise was, Roman expected it to be the solution Adrian favoured.

"Okay," Roman agreed, seemingly powerless to do otherwise. "Let's go get lunch, I guess."

When Roman entered the kitchen that night, nothing seemed to be different. Tennyson was getting ready for the night rush and Dorian Hydes was washing up. They were loyal employees, who really seemed to like working with Roman. Dorian was about to head to college soon, but Roman wouldn't be surprised if he still took a shift now and then. The kid had a passion for food, just like Roman had at his age.

"Luci? Are you helping tonight?"

Roman whirled around to find his daughter washing her hands behind him.

"Yep, Dad asked if I wanted to and I said yes," she replied. "It's better than sitting with the babies."

If Adrian had brought Luci, her younger siblings were likely upstairs in the office playroom. Roman had a space by his office where he could drop the kids when he needed to have them at work with him. If Luci were here, then Rien, Saturnia, Fiolett and Abe Jr were likely there as well. Usually Adrian would take the kids off of Abe's hands when Abe needed a break from diapers and bottles, while Evren would take their two boys with him to work. He had childcare provided at the coven, and he wanted to get the boys in early classes if possible. Fiolett had started magic lessons on weekends and at school, but she seemed more content to follow Adrian around most of the time.

"Well, Luci, why don't you grate some cheese for me," Roman called. "You remember where we keep it, right? After that, you can help sort the cutlery."

Those were easy enough tasks that Roman felt confident leaving with his daughter. She did help at the restaurant from time to time, and she had certainly helped with dinner at home, so she had the necessary skills.

"Welcome! Can I show you a menu?"

Roman could hear Adrian outside the kitchen, charming guests and helping them get a table. They were down a server though, Adrian would probably be swamped with people, which would make irritated, hungry guests leave as they usually did.

"Bellamy Family Dining, how can I help you? For two people? Sure, I guess."

Roman thought he was hallucinating when he heard his son's familiar voice echo into the kitchen.

Theo? How? Could Theo actually be here, helping out? Adrian really did have a surprise. It's not just the younger kids, it's all of them!

"Let me get you seated in the VIP section, Your Highness. Thank you for joining us tonight, Evren simply can't stop talking about your ideas for the Arkhelios coven. You're an amazing leader. Your patronage is appreciated."

"Well, of course I had to come see this place for myself," Alicia warmly replied. "Your partner is a talented warlock, and frankly, a much needed breath of fresh air in Arkhelios. That Wanda. There's no way that she could make it in Strangetown with ideas like hers. Evren is a godsend."

Adrian smiled genuinely. He didn't need salesmanship to talk about Evren.

"Thanks, I think he's pretty great too."

"Hi, Mr Bellamy. Am I doing this right? What happens if I break a glass? Should I be wearing gloves?"

Roman turned around, hardly believing the voice he'd heard.

"Adam? What are you doing here? What's going on?"

The teen shrugged while Dorian snickered behind him.

"His Grace asked me to help out," Adam replied. "He talked to my parents and said that if Theo was a part of my family, then I was a part of his too, and family helps each other out. My parents agreed that I could help Theo at his job if I wanted and I get to keep my whole paycheck! If I had some spending money, I could afford to take Theo out on more dates."

"Uh huh."

Roman was baffled at the eagerness of the teen, but he couldn't fault the boy for his excitement. In fact, it was an admirable trait considering how Roman himself had been as a teenager. When he had to work in a bakery after his grandfather cut him off while at school, Roman had been miserable and angry. He felt entitled to the riches of his grandparents and peers without doing anything to deserve them. It probably had more to do with the proximity to Theo and the ability to impress him, but Adam's attitude was encouraging. Adrian had probably sold the Maricourts on something for this to happen, but Roman couldn't argue with results.

"What did His Grace tell you to do?" Roman asked. If this was part of Adrian's scheme, surely Adam had been assigned a role.

"Whatever you need," Adam boasted. "Though, I'm not a very good cook. If dishes are anything like cauldrons, I'm good at cleaning those."

Roman looked at the anxiety ridden teen and sorted through his options. No way would Adam be a good server with his nerves. Dishwasher and general support might be the best fit.

"Start with dishes and we'll work from there," he decided. "If you're here to work, then no slacking off with Theo on the clock. He doesn't have the...wisdom you seem to have, so you need to set an example."

Princess Alicia Toyonaga sipped her drink, watching the restaurant staff work the room. It wasn't a bad little place, probably because it had a man from Twikkii Island at the helm. Everything else in Arkhelios seemed to be chaotic and low class, so it was refreshing to see some actual service.

Her own daughter, Lexy, had been here for too long. She was beginning to enjoy this place and some of the people in it. If she hadn't moved into college last week, Alicia would have taken her daughter back to Strangetown. It was run by her hated father in law, but it at least had standards.

Still, Adrian had convinced her to hold her budget planning meeting at the restaurant. He was charming and even offered a discount if she brought more people of her station to the restaurant. Looking around, Alicia could see some of her coworkers at tables, as well as some others she recognized from Twikkii Island's royal court.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to drop that glass."

Adam mopped up juice and glass on the floor with embarrassment. It was only the second cup he'd dropped since starting his shift, but Roman hadn't seemed bothered by it. Considering how Theo's parents usually treated him, Adam was surprised to see Roman treat him with kindness and not suspicion.

"I'm meeting a business associate, not dining on my own, thank you. I'll have you know that Launce and I come to support this place quite often, you don't need to continue to rob me. Theo, did you book my usual table?"

Elaine stared at her grandson expectantly, while Theo ignored her in order to exaggerate his phone call. There was no way that he was going out of his way to serve his grandmother, who was at best apathetic to him. Let her seat herself, Theo was working.

"Hi, Theo. Is my table ready?"

Wanda burst through the doors of the restaurant with confidence. She was still the leader of Arkhelios after over a decade in office. She was a mother, leader, wife and witch. There wasn't a single thing she couldn't do if she put her mind to it, and right now, she was going to meet her husband for dinner date night and gorge on Roman's excellent cooking. With her busy schedule, it was difficult to have food ready at home, and she was supporting a local business and her nephew.

"Yeah, it's ready," Theo replied, checking his listings. "Go sit down and Tennyson will be with you shortly."

"Thanks."

"Grandma, you'll have to wait ten minutes, there's a birthday gathering that's just wrapping up. Sorry about the wait," Theo said with what could barely be called sympathy in his voice. "There's a waiting couch for old people in the hall."

"Spotless," Adam declared, holding up his cup as evidence. "This cup is cleaner than any cauldron will ever be. There's nothing to it."

"Good, now put it with the rest," Roman ordered, his attention focused completely on the meat he was cooking. "Start the next set. We're actually pretty busy tonight."

"This water isn't cold," Elaine remarked to her server. "Can't Roman afford to chill his drinks properly?"

"I can bring you another one," Dorian replied sympathetically. "It's just busy tonight, but I can absolutely fix your drink for you."

"You're Melvin's kid, right?" Elaine paused when the boy nodded. There was no benefit being rude to the police chief's son, when her true target was the head of the Bellamy family. "I'll tell you what. You can fix this if you bring this glass back filled with some vodka. Now."

"Adrian! What did you do? We can barely seat people fast enough tonight! You didn't make a demon deal, did you?" Roman teased as Adrian quickly popped into the kitchen to tighten a leaky sink that Adam had knocked into earlier.

"I only deal with one demon family, and they keep me busy enough," Adrian laughed. "No, I just talked to some people. And then some other people. And maybe a bit in the royal court. I may have offered a discount or two and greased some Maricourt palms. It's important that this place succeeds. I just told people how great it is."

"I'm sure that's all you did," Roman said skeptically, stirring the pot he was working with. "Like you've never done all that before. How did you get Adam here? His parents hate me and anything associated with me."

"Not as much as you'd think. It seems that the Maricourts have been doing some research on you and decided that there's some merit in keeping a friendly relationship with you. They came to me."

"They came to you?" Roman repeated. "What on earth have they read about me in the brief time since we last spoke? They knew about Dorhack and my mom last time, what else is there to know?"

"Something about getting to know the Bellamy family better," Adrian said with a casual shrug. "I didn't question it, you never do when the Maricourts are on your side for once. They have their own reasons and we're just expected to follow them."

A well-dressed redhead wandered into the restaurant, milling quietly around unnoticed. It wouldn't take long for the tiara to be noticed in a place like this, though.

Queen Maura II of Twikkii Island walked around busy tables, looking at the artwork on the walls.

Several pieces were pictures of Roman and his various family members, and others were clearly imported pictures from the mainland. She recognized a well-known Pleasantview warlock in one, but laughed when she saw the famous imagining of Hailee Evans. The woman was part myth as it was, and one local to what was now Crystal Cove. She had nothing to do with a restaurant in Arkhelios, except maybe letting visiting Crystal Cove residents feel more at home. Roman didn't have the intelligence or knowledge to try something like that, so it must have been Adrian's idea. They didn't exactly teach foreign deities in Arkhelios public schools, after all.

At least he hadn't borrowed from Twikkii Island's mythology- that she could see at least. The last thing she wanted was any trace of her family on Roman's walls. Sure, they were also Adrian's family, but a queen outranked a duke. It was Maura’s opinion that mattered here. Only her opinion.

"Your Majesty? Can I give you a menu?"

Adam approached the monarch cautiously, unsure if this was somehow a trap. Queens didn't just walk through restaurants unescorted or need to order from mediocre restaurants in foreign countries.

"Ah, you're the little warlock who loves my godson," she replied. "How nice to meet you. I will take a look at that, if you don't mind."

Adam warily handed Maura a menu and kicked Theo's foot to get his attention.

"Your godmother is here," he hissed. "Should I be worried? Is she about to arrest your dad for something? Why is she here?"

Theo shrugged, hanging up the phone. The same lady had been calling to make reservations every single hour they were open, only to change them again. Theo was convinced that this woman had nothing better to do with her time than irritate him. In his frustration, he'd completely missed their famous guest.

"Are you looking for a table for two?" Adam asked cautiously. "If your kids are coming too, we could probably accommodate them. We'd just need to move some tables around."

"Aunt Maura? Did you actually want to eat here? Don't you have personal chefs at home?"

"No, I think I've lost my appetite actually." She handed her menu back to Adam and smiled. "Adrian has improved this facility immeasurably, though not enough to entice me. Do send my regards to Roman though. Let him know that I stopped by."

The threat in her words hung heavy in the air. Adam tried not to show how nervous he was to have a queen glowering at him, but probably failed.

"That was weird," Adam noted, still somewhat stunned to see a monarch milling around an Arkhelios business like she had.

"Very weird," Theo agreed. "Maybe we shouldn't tell my dad about this. It's been a really successful night, and I'm sure the queen's appearance won't help his...everything."

"Deal."

[millennialgrandma]

15 Questions/15 People

Rules: answer these 15 questions and tag 15 people

Thanks for the tag, @schmem14! This seems like an excellent way to put off the last few tasks of my work day 🙃

Are you named after anyone? Nope! My name has no familial significance. My parents just liked the names together.

When was the last time you cried? Two nights ago when I finally watched the third season of Derry Girls - those last two episodes took me the fuck out. WAIT. This is actually a lie. I cried last night watching Vir Das' covid comedy special on Netflix.

Do you have kids? No, but I have no shortage of little humans in my life that leave their smudgy little fingerprints on my heart 💗

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Honestly, yes. Though incrementally less as the years pass.

What's the first thing you notice about people? Oooohhh this is a thinker. Now I'm going "oh my god, when was the last time we saw people? Do we? See people?" 😂😂 I'm thinking back to a meeting I had a couple days ago, and I'd say the first thing I noticed when I walked in the room was what color of clothing people were wearing (there was an inexplicable amount of red in that room). This makes it easier to find them again after the initial noticing 😆 I'd say this is typically followed by their facial expressions/mood, so that I can vary my approach to how I interact to put the other person most at ease.

What's your eye color? Listen, this is actually a very big point of contention for me. At first glance, they appear brown. Just regular, run-of-the-mill brown. But CLOSE UP and IN THE LIGHT it becomes evident that around my pupil is a ring of honeyed brown, and then a lighter golden green, and then a darker green around the outside. The point is, there is GREEN in my eyes, and my entire family has been playing a game the last decade where they refuse to acknowledge the existence of any bit of green in my eyes and they are EVIL FOR IT.

Scary movies or happy endings? Give me a happy ending, but make me suffer so hard for it. I categorically do not like to be scared. That being said, I once went to a showing of Jaws where you float in tubes on a giant lake at night with the movie projected on a screen on the shore. Legs dangling, not touching the bottom, in the dark while watching a shark movie. There is only one explanation for the decisions that led me to that moment and that explanation is demon possession.

Any special talents? Yes, and that is my ability to make a disaster out of literally every kitchen I've ever set foot in. If I make something, I also make a mess. Those are the rules.

Where were you born? In the heart of the U.S. Midwest.

What are your hobbies? Does collecting hobbies count as a hobby? I'm actually so good at getting really interested in something, going balls to the wall, and then losing interest for 6-72 business months because something else caught my attention (see knitting, creative journaling, paper crafts). Reading is the one constant, and I guess writing belongs on this list now.

Do you have any pets? I like other people's pets, but I just don't think I'm a pet person myself, you know? We never had inside pets growing up. And I travel for work, so it doesn't really seem practical.

What sports do you play/have you played? I'm far more creatively than athletically inclined. Growing up I played softball and volleyball. I was a social tennis player (read: ya girl was Not Good™️). But I was more of a band/choir/theater/speech kid, and carried the choir and theater aspects forward into college.

How tall are you? I am 5 ft + 4.75 inches (or about 164.5 cm). Shortest one in my family. The only reason my mom and I are the same height now is because she started shrinking.

Favorite subject in school? Honestly, I loved every subject. I just loved to learn. Even in college, I don't think I could give an answer. I loved taking history courses. And I loved my finance and accounting courses because I adore financial analysis.

Dream job? I'm living it: a job where I get to interact with coworkers and the public; where I get to constantly learn new things; where assignments and teammates rotate; where I can apply for special assignments; that pays me a comfortable salary; that has great health and fringe benefits; that keeps me from getting bored.

Tagging 15 people feels exhausting, so let's go with a smaller multiple of 5 and say 10. Please feel free to ignore or participate as you are able (or please join in if you'd like to and weren't tagged): @akorah @eveningstruggle @whimsymanaged @echoesofmyfootsteps @juls99 @roseharpermaxwell @pia-bartolini @petalsfordraco @they-call-me-megs @sunlightdaydream

[twistedsea]

I know it doesn't really amount to anything since I'm just some random person on the internet, but I really hope things get better for you. Life is really awful a good chunk of the time, but I think it's probably worth holding out in case something better happens.

I spent ages 10-22 thinking I was some kind of horrid, broken robot of a person because I didn't develop crushes like all my friends were. They were ogling celebrities and getting into their first relationships, and it all felt so alien to me. When the first boy asked me out as a teenager, I thought I was going to vomit. He was very nice and there was nothing *wrong* with him, but the thought of being *with* him was like asking me to eat a slug. When I was 17, my neighbors tried to arrange a date with me for me with a man twice my age. It was all so odd.

I didn't even consider that liking women could be an option. Like, I'm from a very open and tolerant family. There are tons of well-respected and very loved LGBT people in my family that have been out of the closet for decades. There was zero danger for me if I came out as any persuasion. I didn't start thinking about it until one of my childhood friends came out as transgender. He said one of the things that made him realize that he wasn't a girl was that, when we were very small and played make-believe games, he would get so envious when I got to pretend I was a prince or a king. The other girls always made me play the "boy" roles because I was the tallest in the group, and he was tiny and thin and fit the conventional princess role better. He said that it took him years to figure out whether he wanted to *be* me or whether he had a crush on me. In the end, he realized it was both. He's engaged to a really handsome guy nowadays and I'm really happy for him.

But at the same time, I felt so weird about the whole situation. Thinking back, I would have definitely dated him back when he thought he was a girl. I guess I mistook the whole "unusually close female friendship" thing as just platonic, because we'd hold hands or hug or be affectionate all of the time. It was just what girls did. But I always felt that same sort of envy that he felt whenever I saw my best friends being affectionate with other girls. I didn't really think about it heavily until covid lockdowns. I started spending more time online and chatting with people that were very open and secure in their sexualities. None of them were a perfect match for the alien feelings I felt, but it made me realize that I have a very strong preference towards women. I still don't have a label for whatever it is that I am, just somewhere between queer and asexual, but I'm still not out about it. I'm still super uncomfortable talking to family about it, but it's slowly getting easier to talk to friends and people online.

I still feel weird and broken, but it's really nice listening to people talk about their journies about living with whatever their truth is. Sometimes you have to just find a place where you can pour out your feelings. Sometimes it helps just hearing about other people's struggles. There are some days when I want to curl up and die, but they're less now. I don't feel so alone when I hear how other people are struggling and surviving.

I have no idea what a *good* future looks like for me, let alone my ideal future, but I think things are better for me than they were ten years ago. Maybe ten years down the line will be better too.

Getting some good antidepressants also helped *a lot.* I can't handle proper therapy yet, but the pills I'm on make it so that my depressive states don't feel like they'll go on forever. They also make it easier to drink less, since I'm not always in a really dark pit. The depression is definitely still there, but it feels bearable.

Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is that life is really hard, but you've made it this far. You're a really talented artist and you seem like a good person, and you've managed to survive the horrid thoughts that your mind conjures up about you. I think that's something to be proud of. Your art helps me keep going, too. The colors are always warm despite the violent imagery, and I always get the vibe that Laura and Abigail are in this cycle of death and rebirth. When they pop up on my dash, it makes me feel really hopeful.

I think I said this before, but my depression and anxiety are the reason why I’m in such a bad state of mind. My internalized homophobia is just one more thing that’s hurting me, more so lately because of the amount of time I have spent with my family during Christmas (and therefore some of their hurtful comments). I am convinced that if I was in a better place right now, this wouldn't worry me as much.

Yeah… I also feel broken for many reasons. Currently I’m not taking any medication because in the past it did nothing to help (I tried several different antidepressants without results)

Maybe that's why I feel like I'm at a dead end.

I'm going to be honest, it's not that I see a grim future for me, it's that I literally don't believe I have a future at all. As soon as I get up, I think “this is probably going to be my last day” and I wish that these horrible thoughts and overwhelming emotions would give me a break.

And despite this I'm doing everything I can to just stay alive. Even if they are few, there are moments when I realized that it is worth it to keep fighting.

Regarding my sexuality: on one hand, I find it funny because when I was only 6 years old I realized I liked girls and I already took it for granted that this was something that was “wrong” and that I had to hide and repress it. I’m a bit of a loner and I have difficulty socializing, and that has made it easier for me to ignore it.

But like you said, hearing other people’s journeys with their sexuality and/or gender makes me feel less alone. Which is something I’m grateful for. Unfortunately where I live there is still a lot of bigotry and if it wasn't for the internet, well… I just don’t know where I would be.

Despite the fact that we are complete strangers, your message helps me tremendously. Thank you for opening up in such a sincere and kind way to a perfect stranger just to help. It means the whole world to me. Hell, what you’ve said about my art and ocs made me tear up a little too hahah.

I apologize if this is not very coherent. English is not my main language and I’m not used to writing so much 😭🙏

[myjunkisyuzuruhanyu]

Same anon as before and thank you so much for your fast and super detailed reply! It explains a lot, especially the bit about scoring. I had no idea shoma’s technique was so controversial ( I just think he’s beautiful on ice and I love the way he moves, and that’s enough for me ^^;)

Can’t believe ppl think his family buy his scores though, is his family *that* wealthy? ( I mean they’re obviously well off, but).

I’m also well aware of the controversy around his words and I personally think it’s a steaming pile of bullshit. I hate current internet culture where you just need to say something stupid ( if it was him at all) once and you’re cancelled forever. smh. I can’t believe people still bring that up. Especially given that it happened in a very dark period of his life, I can only imagine how Shoma was feeling in that period :/ anyways, I’m really happy to see him in a much better place now 🥰

I’m so grateful for his YouTube channel too, it really gave me so much insight into his personality and I find him super endearing. I want to sit his haters in front of those videos and make them watch all of them u.u

Anyways, I guess I will just stay away from the toxic fan communities from now on ^^; do you have any recommendations for places (beyond tumblr) that are good for Shoma fans?

Thank you again <3

No need to thank, glad I could help. I'd rather answer such things quickly if I see them as I don't like to have them in my inbox. Better tick off the uncomfortable questions...

___

Yes Shoma's technique is controversial, but Shoma is far from the only skater with technique issues on the contrary many skaters have technical issues. Shoma only gets more hate because he wins and because skaters with the "right" technique don't "benefit in scoring" from their technique being better.

___

Anyone in this sport is from rather wealthy families. I don't know any skater who isn't "well off" however I do think that Shoma's family can be called rich. (there are fans who look for the prices of the stuff they have at home as what you can see on the puppy YT channel and they own loads of exclusive and expensive stuff)

Shoma buying his scores is big fat bs. There is no proof or any words of any official that ever pointed to this direction. It was just made up and spread by haters. Ppl who believe such bs are ppl who don't know how scoring works and can't properly evaluate Shoma's skills in this sport. I don't say that money can't have influence in scoring but any money cannot help Shoma land quads and develop the skill that he has. He was praised for his skating skills back in juniors when he wasn't even able to land 3A or quads and experts found it rather sad that such a talented guy would probably never win titles without the high scoring elements but as we know things turned out differently. In scoring consistency and reputation is key. Shoma may not always be clean but he can still deliver better than most other competitors and his results are pretty consistent. Shoma managed to stay one of the top skaters throughout his complete senior career, that's something that doesn't happen this often.

___

The only advice I have is to curate your own social media spaces. Hate can be anywhere. Block ppl on platforms who hate on Shoma, there is no use to argue with them. Then any social media platform can be a nice space.

I only use Tumblr and Twitter, but I know that Reddit for example is also quite nice for Shoma fans. Goldenskate forum has a Shoma fan fest section and there will only be talk about Shoma and hate isn't tolerated and will be deleted. (I know there can be drama in other general threads on other skating topics but as I don't use it I can't tell for sure)

Tumblr is mostly a safe space for Shoma fans, but as Twitter could crash at any day I see many Twitter users get back here and I can only hope they're not bringing the toxicity with them. But tbf I think it's easier to avoid hate on Tumblr as you need to tag words to make them show up in the search. You can also just stay with those you follow and you won't see any hate at all. (and thank goodness the confession block is gone) (and also because you can't see the number of followers you won't know who is "popular" around here and how blogs are connected and you can like whatever you want and it won't show up in recommendations)

There is one space for Shoma fans I can wholeheartedly recommend and use quite frequently but you should send me a PM that I can invite you to it as it's a little group of Shoma fans who created their own space.

[amazing-spiderling]

What’s some of your favorite characters to write and what’s some of your least favorite?

Friendo, please know that I have been staring at this ask in my inbox for a while and always going "HUH." because it feels like such a big question, sometimes I don't know how to answer it. skfdjs

I think, broadly, my favorite characters to write are going to be the ones who have some attribute I've managed to zero in on with some amount of personal understanding. It doesn't have to be a character I think is "just like me", (I don't know that I've felt that about many if any fictional characters) so much as one that I think I have one or two things in common with that I can focus on in a story. I guess the trick is remembering to focus on lots of aspects of their character so I don't reduce them to just that, though.

As for favorites...

From Metal Gear, I really liked writing from Otacon's POV. While he is brilliant and talented in his own right, in a lot of ways he is the best person to have an outside perspective on the crazy things that are happening in his world. Yes, he's an unparalleled engineer and hacker, but he's surrounded by genetically altered super soldiers pumped full of nanomachines, and it tends to put things in perspective. I think that's why Project Itoh chose to write the MGS4 novelization from his POV. Since I often feel like an observer around people who seem to lead more dramatic and interesting lives, I think I find it enjoyable to write stories with a "friendly outsider" perspective.

For Marvel... I think it's *easier* for me to write for Peter Parker, again, some similarities between us I feel I can tap into with ease, but I think its more *fun* to write Wade. He does get to have all the best banter, and if I want to write a joke that isn't actually that funny, well, then it's just that much more in character. I think I prefer writing Foggy to Matt, again, because of that "involved outsider" thing he has going on. He's emotionally involved in a lot of the goings on, even if he isn't in the middle of things (and then sometimes he is in the middle of things, but that's another issue). I also like writing Foggy in Earth-65 contexts because I think a lot of Murderdock comes from what he isn't saying. If we're inside his head and seeing the reasons behind his actions, some of the mystique is ruined. But if we are sitting on Foggy's shoulders, and only seeing the external (albeit, from someone who has a better understanding of Matt than most) we have to piece things together and make more inferences, and that gives me the chance to drop little breadcrumbs and easter eggs and I LIVE for that.

On the flip side, characters I've had little luck with... ugh. Hm. That's really tricky. I think I don't tend to write the characters I don't have fun with, life is too short. Sometimes it's required though, especially when I'm writing with a partner and we're splitting up the side characters, but even then... it can be fun to write characters I hate and go, UGH, THEY'RE AWFUL. (See: Huey from MGSV)

I guess the most difficult would be characters like Elektra, not because I don't like her- but because I think that we haven't got much in the way of real, solid characterization and motivation for her that doesn't revolve around Matt Murdock. (Well, not counting the Elektra movie, so maybe I should just use that as her model from now on lol.) If I'm totally honest, I feel like a lot of the meta I read about Elektra is from people who have pinged some characteristic within her (like I have for my faves) that doesn't ping for me, so I don't find it relatable or interesting to explore. But I also don't want to throw her into a fic just to make her a bad guy so my ship can kiss, you know? And it's just... bleh, it's a lot of homework, so that's probably why I've avoided it. Does that make me a bad fan? Maybe. I never claimed to be a good one.

[chaotictomtom]

thanks @egirlgarak for tagging me!!

tagging anyone who wants to do this hehe im too shy to tag ppl smh

Were you named after anyone?

only one of my middle deadnames lol, my grandma italian's name she had to change when getting to France. adam came from seeing cool ppl with that name + movie with hugh dancy getting me to finally pick it. i mean i DID a strawpoll on twitter back then to help me choose lol. so not really after anyone ig technically. thomas was given to me by people calling me this name umprompted even before i came out to myself so like. alright will keep it I GUESS random people in my life chose it for me

When was the last time you cried?

ppl say T will make you unable cry and....prob depends on the person. i still do cry seeing videos of cute dogs getting groomed and seeing general good in life and people 👍 so i think it was 2 days ago watching daily dose of internet last vid cos a bit about a kid trying to make friends made me tear up lol. humanity.....<333333 cries like a baby instantly

Do you have kids?

if da bébé (cat) counts yes. but no.

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

i don't think! a lot! but i guess i do use it sometimes. more irl tho i just realised i never really use it online in case it doesn't read as sarcasm. mibbe when i rant in the tags on my own posts tho lol

What sports do you play/have you played?

played a bunch of different sports during my school years but it's been years of not doing anything and it's a struggle between thinking how my knee can suddenly fuck up and needing exercise to be healthy </3

What's the first thing you notice about someone?

i honestly don't know............. ig i try are they. like not a cunt and a bigot. can i exist without them thinking im out of line by just. being me fdhglkjhdflkjd. also. do they think im funneyyy >:)

Eye color?

light brown. i think

Scary movies or happy endings?

not picky i like em all 👍

Any special talents?

that pepe silvia scene with charlie kelly but it's me linking everything to Die Hard. not kidding. it's a curse i could think "pff no way what im watching rn is linked in any way to Die Hard" and i can while saying that already do the mental exercice to link the two things. everything is fucking linked to these movies. even bands. mcr! weird al! talking heads!!! movie/tvshow is easier to link up to Die Hard but still anyway been thinking abt doing twitch stream abt this for years now. like that wikipedia speedrun game thing but. mmm die hard......

Where were you born?

South-ish east of France, didn't live there long at all was a babey when we left to get further south 👍👍👍

What are you hobbies?

movies 👍 tvshows 👍 music 👍 im so original ik. i like to draw too!!!! computer stuff yumyum!!!! viddie games 👍👍👍👍

Do you have any pets?

How tall are you?

da bébé (basically garfied if he slayed more + had longer hair)

</3333333333 like 5'2. jerma voice why are u short because god doesn't fucking love me that's why

Favorite subject in school?

honestly don't remember much </3 ig art back in middle school. and i liked learning about everything we had but highly depended on the teachers + class too. learning is fun!!!! not in france's school system tho

Dream job?

scary question..................... currently having a "realistic" work project (very long term) to be a cyber café owner!!!! but capitalism wasn't a thing i guess would like to do my shit, drawing and creating other things to trade for other things................ wanted to work in space as a kid so ig this too

[herbs-and-spices-and-flowers]

Youtube Comment Fanfics; SaM Stuff

@krei-ations6918

1 year agoI have heard a theory that moons voice is normally supposed to be just a whisper and the reason it sounds raspy is because he is speaking louder than his voice is meant to go I fully support that theory and I think his voice would sound like the first song

@allaniadall9686

4 days agoMy OC, Rose, likes this because she gets agitated and uses her thorns a lot in the outside world. His voice calms her down almost easly. More easly then when her friend, Sunflower stops her.

@krei-ations6918

4 days ago @allaniadall9686  I’m guessing your OC is a flower? Sound cute

@allaniadall9686

4 days ago @krei-ations6918  Yes. Almost. She and her friend, Sunflower are not human or animatronic. They call themselves other people. The animatronics are confused by it, so they call them nymphs since it's easier. They don't mind. Nymphs worked.

@krei-ations6918

4 days ago @allaniadall9686  kinda reminds me of my OCs Tiger Lily, Blue Orchid, and Willow. All plants.

@allaniadall9686

4 days ago @krei-ations6918  Cool. Wanna hear more later?

@krei-ations6918

3 days ago @allaniadall9686  yes!

@allaniadall9686

3 days ago @krei-ations6918  Rose Chamomile Thorn is the daughter of judge(preachers who take care of their town), so she know orthodox and theology. She is stubborn and passionate about her faith. So she fights on the internet and in real life. She know art, writing and music. She can sing sapranno, alto and can play flute. She is protective of her friends and will do what she can to protect them. She trusts Moon, but their relationship depends on which Moon you're talking about. We got the calm, gentle and soothing Moon, whom Rose can fall for easily. There's the caring but sarcastic Moon, they can be friends, but his behavior will bother Rose and they will just be friends. Then there's hostile Moon. Rose can never fall for that Moon. She likes Lutheran Satire, CS Lewis, George Mcdonals's Lillith book, Shiloh and Bros and a few other stories and channels. She usually wears an elegant dress, but when she's doing active activities, like weeding or mowing, she might wear a shirt and pants. She wears an eye patch covered in roses and vines, not because something is wrong with her eye, but because she has glowing markings shaped like rose petals around her eye which she doesn't like people to see. She is stubborn, proud(but not vain), and tries to be independant, be she can ask for help. She is usually reserved, but she sometimes shares her thoughts, especially when it involves heratics.

@allaniadall9686

3 days agoThen there’s Sunflower Thyme Field, Rose’s close friend from middle school. She is cheery and kind and also loyal in her faith. She does not lash out as often as Rose, rather would try to stop Rose from getting worse. Like Rose, she can draw, sing and play music. She plays saxophone. Unlike Rose, she is more into photography than writing or other crafts, but they do enjoy each other’s art. They are both thoughtful of theology and orthodox. Probably from being raised in similar situations. She loves Sundrop a lot and tries to comfort and support him as she would her other friends. And persuade them not to do something irrational. Like talking Rose out of suicide(she had bloody thoughts in their teens). Eventually becoming the mother of Ray, Sun’s beam of light. Since she is like a sister to Rose, she calls Sun her brother in law.

@allaniadall9686

3 days agoAnd last we have Parsley Sage Sunflower. She is the third member of the Herbs, Spices and Flowers trio. She is also religious and talented in art and music. She doesn’t play an instrument, but she is in choir with Sunflower and Rose. Whenever Rose lashes out, Parsley Sage would laugh quietly for some reason. Maybe she does that to make herself feel better. She is not a helper, but she does visit sometimes. She is a prey of evil Eclipse. When he saw her, he made it his target to take her. He does it by putting a mirror in the daycare and talks to her through the mirror. Her curiosity got the better of her and then he reached through the mirror and pulled her through. Good Eclipse saves her and returns her to her friends who were about to come find her. She is the most cheerful of the group and gets really excited when group activity stuff happens. Rose likes her alone time, but doesn’t mind time with her friends. She grew to like good Eclipse, but he’s more into his work and spending time with Lunar than with her. So she likes him, but he only sees her as a friend.

@krei-ations6918

3 days ago @allaniadall9686  dang they would prob get along with my OCs S.a.(h)r.a., Nubis, and Krei

@allaniadall9686

3 days ago @krei-ations6918  Who are those?

@allaniadall9686

2 days ago @krei-ations6918  I also have this headcannon where the reason Moon's eyes are red is because Rose accidently bled on them turning his blue eyes red.

@krei-ations6918

2 days ago @allaniadall9686  interesting. they are my fnaf OCs. Nubis is an animatronic that was salvaged from the og pizzeria and now are in the pizzaplex as a historian of sorts. S.a.r.a. Is kinda the program for Nubis/the ghost kid. And Krei is just me, as seen by my username. Sorry I couldn’t respond earlier, Google was acting weird

@allaniadall9686

2 days ago @krei-ations6918  It's alright.

@allaniadall9686

2 days ago @krei-ations6918  Cool. Reminds me of my OC, Lillith. She is Michael's second eldest sister. She is the last to die and she has her own animatronic to posess. Lillith knows metal crafts, violin and piano. She sometimes plays music to sooth agonizing souls. She is also protective of children. "Don't open the door. Don't open the door." Some robots call her "green eyes" because she has green eyes. She cares about Gregory because he reminds her of a little brother she once had. also she suspects G. Freddy might be her eldest brother, Michael. I introduced her to some people and someone said, "It's interesting you called her Lilith because in arabic, it mean ghost or night monster". I thought that was interesting too since I didn't know the name Lilith meant that.

I made this with a new youtube friend,

@krei-ations691 I had fun with her, or him. Check him or her out.

[ask-lmanburg]

[Tommy knocks twice on the door to Wilburs office before letting himself in]

Hi Wilbur, how's it going?

How many balloons could fill the office do you think.

[Tommy pauses in confusion before taking a look around the office]

I'd say at least fifty, that sounds right. Why are you wondering about balloons, man?

Chat and I were talking about it earlier. How balloons lift spirits, surely with fifty…..

What- are you okay? I don't think balloons are gonna be the answer to your problems, even if you've got fifty of them.

That’s so mean, you’ll hurt their feelings with that kind of talk.

Sorry? I didn't mean to offend your fifty imaginary balloons, I'll do better next time. How fucking long have you been in here to get to this point?

I don’t know, all day today, all day yesterday… all… day before, or was it most of the day before…

Holy shit man, you need to get out of here! Go to sleep or something! Go on a walk! You sound like you've fucking lost it!

But I like it in here. It’s warm, and I don’t need to go outside. And we can fill it with balloons easier than the van.

It's warm and it's sending you down a fucking balloon rabbit hole! What are you even doing in here thats taking up days of your life? Also, going outside is pretty important the last time I checked.

Nothing can see me in here.

What?

It’s safe.

I'd argue the whole country is pretty safe? I think you'll also feel safer if you go to fucking sleep, but I guess that's just my opinion here.

You’re not supposed to sleep where you work.

Yeah, so leave the office. See the outside world. Escape the paperwork for more than five minutes.

Absolutely not.

And why's that? What has you so fucking emotionally attached to your chair?

They can’t see me here.

Who?! Who can't see you here? Help me out, man, I'm really not following.

…I can’t say their name. Them, Tommy.

[Tommy stares at him, blinking mindlessly]

...Okay, so you're not gonna leave? You're just gonna marinate here?

[Wilbur nods.]

Then sleep here, I don't fucking know.

That’s bad workplace etiquette.

Who's gonna call you out for it? Take a nap, you look like you're about to disintegrate right now.

I’m gonna call me on it, I sleep at my desk enough already.

Well, I'm gonna call you out for calling you out on it. Checkmate, bitch! Besides, what's one more desk nap gonna do?

Wreck my neck, or my back.

Okay, fair, but you're not doing too great without the nap. What, do you want me to drag a bed through the door? Because I will try.

You can get me fifty balloons.

Is that all you want right now? Fifty balloons flooding your office? Is that the Wilbur Soot dream?

It will lift my spirits.

Okay, well I don't have fifty balloons. I can draw fifty balloons, but that's as close to lifting your spirits I'm gonna get.

Since when could you draw?

Hey! I'll have you know I've got many secret talents up my sleeve! I'm basically a master artist!

The only thing up your sleeve is your arm. Which isn’t achey or anything right? Just normal arm feelings?

No? It's not achey, why are you-

[Tommy cuts himself off, the realization finally hitting him]

Ohhhh, okay, this is making sense now.

What?

Uh- nothing, it's nothing. But listen, okay, just because you've never witnessed my incredible talents doesn't mean they aren't real! I will draw you those fifty balloons and they will lift your fucking spirits! I'll even cut them out for you to add to the magic.

We don’t have scissors.

I can rip them out perfectly. You won't even know the difference.

Are you willing to put money on it?

Y'know what, yes! I'll prove it to you, and you're gonna be so sorry you doubted me!

Fifty emeralds, one for each balloon.

Fucking bet! Give me some paper, I'm gonna tear your ass apart!

This is an office Tommy, there’s paper everywhere.

Oh, yeah fair point. I'm still gonna tear you apart though.

[Tommy grabs a stack of paper and sits himself on the floor to start drawing]

You better be trembling in fear of my fucking power right now.

Sure, whatever makes you feel better.

Fuck off!

[Tommy starts drawing, very clearly struggling as time goes on, but continuing on anyway]

You having trouble?

Absolutely not, this is entirely purposeful. It's part of my... artistic process.

Right.

Oi, don't doubt me! They look like balloons! You just have to use a bit of your imagination.

But that won’t make me richer, Tommy.

Fuck off, you are not winning this! You're gonna be amazed by my balloons, you just gotta let me finish first. I've gotta do this shit fifty times to lift your damn spirits.

I mean if you’re tired you can stop before fifty.

I'm not gonna admit defeat I'm gonna draw these fucking balloons. You're gonna be fucking joyous, just watch.

Sure.

[Tommy continues on the balloons for a while, determined to finish, before throwing the page across the floor midway through]

I give up. Fuck your balloons.

Fifty emeralds, please.

Come on, Wilbur, have mercy on me. I got so far!

How far?

... Eight. But if you do some math it's basically fifty! We can call it a tie!

Do the math. Right now.

Seriously?!

How is eight basically fifty.

Oh my god, fine! Eight times five is like, forty and then another eight is forty-eight. So, fifty! Bitch.

Wrong.

You were gonna say that no matter what!

I’m way too tired for math.

That's why I told you to sleep.

And I already told you, I can’t.

So then what do you plan on doing besides sitting here and thinking about balloons?

See but the balloon thing kept me occupied.

Really? Well shit, guess you're gonna need another random thought to think about for five hours.

…Utah.

Utah? You wanna talk about Utah?

Someone in chat mentioned it today.

Okay, cool. Tell me about Utah, man.

Well it’s [yawn] not real, for starters.

Ah, so it's a myth. Utah exists nowhere outside of our heads.

Exactly.

Utah can be a state of mind. Feeling very Utah right now.

What does Utah feel like?

... Feels like Utah, man. That's just it.

I feel like Utah means you win.

Winning? Okay, fair. Utah is success.

Oh fuck I’m exhausted….

Don't drop dead! I know you said you can't sleep, but I honestly think you're gonna sleep whether you want to or not at this point.

Don’t go?

I'm not getting up any time soon, your floor is comfortable.

So true.

[Wilbur slowly slides off his chair, lying down beside Tommy.]

Welcome to the floor, it's great to have you. We hope you enjoy your stay.

You still owe me fifty.

That's a future Tommy problem. I'm not thinking about that right now.

At least you… at least you know.

Yeah. You'll get your fifty eventually.

Night Tommy.

Goodnight, Wilbur.