#guy looks and acts like he actively uses tiktok. stop that

[commander-goo]

trying 2 make a stampede vash i like >_<?

[angelfoxx]

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° “…US?”

…in which their feelings for you become apparent.

FEATURING: simon “ghost” riley, john “soap” mactavish, & keegan p russ I AM SALIVATING

WARNINGS: suggestive, but nothing nsfw. yet 😇 also so sorry i write k**gan’s name and i just get fucked up. i just can’t behave myself. so i lose my mind a little in his section eek

NOTES: excuse my rather small starting lineup; i’m still new to the game and all of its lore and i’d rather get to know the characters first rather than make horrible headcanons based off of their fanon interpretations. you know, like making a six foot ten war criminal dresses in a fucking executioner’s hood a little uwu baby

— SIMON “GHOST” RILEY.

✧ Everything I see on TikTok regarding this guy makes him seem like a fucking demon in the sheets. I really don’t get that vibe. Especially not at the start of a relationship.

✧ The first time you meet, he thinks you’re attractive. And then he pushes that thought aside, because he’s a soldier. He’s actively at work doing a high-risk, high-stress job. You’re attractive, yes, but he’s not going to pursue you. This is not the right time for that.

✧ Things develop after…like, a long ass time. And it’s not sexual in the start. It’s, like…you’re cleaning your gun down after a mission, and you get a clean rag thrown into your lap. You look up into those hollow soulless fucking eyes and Ghost just shrugs, not meeting your gaze but instead just vaguely gesturing at your gun. “Your rag’s dirty. You’re rubbin’ dirt int’a the thing.”

✧ It’s small things like that. Things that are helpful but always laced with a comment that could be considered sort of rude or abrasive. He doesn’t notice; he only realizes that he’s coming off as rude and probably pushing you away after he makes a comment on your form being lazy and Price, sort of quietly laughing, asks why he’s so insistent on snarking on you. He replies that mistakes like yours could get you hurt. Which, they could. But so could everyone else’s, and he doesn’t make comments about them. So…?

✧ Phase two of him trying to…hit on you? Exist with you? Who fucking knows. Anyways, he just stops talking. He’ll still throw you clean rags, but he won’t make a comment about how using a dirty rag is ruining your gun. He’ll still make a point out of sweeping fallen food and shit off of your spot at the table after you eat, but he doesn’t grumble and scoff at you not to waste anymore. He resorts to silent acts of service to the point where it gets annoying. He’s always quiet, but now he’s unnervingly quiet and honestly, is it still him if he doesn’t catch you for random things every now and then?

✧ The silent stage can go on forever, so a catalyst really saves you. The catalyst comes when a new recruit gets a little too aggressive; a small argument about your ability on the field turns into a minor brawl. Aforementioned brawl immediately ends when the recruit dares to put their hands on you and shove you and Ghost, like some six-foot-one demon cast from the pits of hell, appears behind you and gets very up close and personal with them. Asking what the hell they think they’re doing, asking if they think that’s a good way to have a team on the field, et cetera, et cetera. Basically, he makes the recruit feel like absolute shit. Oh, and he doesn’t look at you the entire time.

✧ So, obviously, now you have a weird situation at hand. You’re getting ready to go to sleep and everyone’s sort of looking at you funny, because there’s no reason for a fucking lieutenant to jump in and break up an argument like that—pulling people apart, sure, but not so suddenly and not so aggressively. The recruit hasn’t spoken to you. Ghost hasn’t spoken to you. So, anyways, you pay him a visit.

✧ You go down to say thanks, and for some fucking reason, the guy can’t take a compliment. Or gratitude. He says you were slower than the other recruit, that it’ll get you killed on the field, et cetera. He can’t just shut up and take the thanks.

“I’m telling you, I…I came down here to thank you, of all things. Can you cut the criticism one time and accept it?”

Ghost stiffens. It’s not a thousand-yard stare anymore. It’s just a wide, pissed-off glare. For a long minute, he’s silent. And then…

“Welcome.” His voice is grumpish. “Happy?”

“Sure.” You manage a little smile. It’s sort of funny; he can’t just take your thank you and drop it. “It’s improvement.”

Ghost nods once, albeit stiffly. “Okay.”

“…so, you gonna tell me why you did it?” You ask it as a joke. You aren’t dumb. You know he wants you gone. You’re expecting a harsh “get out” or something of the like. You aren’t expecting an answer.

“Disrespect makes ignorance. Ignorance makes casualties.” Oh. An actual real, reasonable answer. Surprising. Ghost himself seems a little surprised; he blinks owlishly again, and he doesn’t say anything else. He’s just a big guy standing in a little room with a skull mask on.

“Oh.” You swallow. “That’s…rational.”

“Were you expecting irrational?”

“No. I wasn’t expecting anything.” You scoff. “You’re not exactly chatty.”

“I don’t waste words.” Ghost’s eyes narrow. “I’m not dumb.”

“I didn’t call you dumb.” You shrug. “I’m just surprised you gave me an answer that wasn’t bitching at me.”

“I don’t bitch.”

“You do.”

“I’m not a sixteen-year-old schoolgirl, recruit. I don’t bitch.”

“Even Price thinks you bitch. At me, at least. All the time.”

✧ Price thinks he bitches at you? And he’d told you? Oh, no, no. Externally, Ghost is stiff and stoic. Internally, Ghost is shitting bricks. Price had told you that? Straight-up told you that? Oh, no. You and Price talk and he comes up in conversation? Oh, no, no, no.

✧ He addresses this with Price, obviously. Storms in all puffed-out and pissy and asks what the hell he’s doing gossiping about his soldiers and Price just sort of laughs him off, asking what he’s talking about and then why he’s so upset that he’s bringing up one of his best men to one of the recruits.

✧ Oh.

✧ Ghost swears up and down it’s not like that. He swears and he bangs the side of his hand on the table and he curses on his own heart that it’s not like that but the whole time Price is laughing because in all of the years that he’s known Simon, not once has Simon broken through Ghost. But now, he has. The stumbling over words, the defensive aggression, the way he’s pacing so furiously—oh, Simon Riley is melting down inside that big mask and it’s equal parts heartbreaking and hilarious.

✧ Cue Price becoming a wingman. Ghost swears he’ll kill him every time he puts you two together to spar or puts you two on cleanup duty or god fucking forbid you’re in the doghouse doing some foul task and Ghost has to watch you. God fucking damn the captain, because he knows Ghost will grumble and complain but with you, he’ll eventually stop that in favor of helping you. And it’s sort of heartwarming for him to do his nightly rounds and it’s all quiet but there’s voices coming out of the kitchen and he can hear Ghost in that gruff, grumbly tone telling you how to mop and you snidely telling him that if you can’t do it right, then maybe he should do it instead. And he objects, of course, and then within ten minutes Price watches Ghost’s shadow come up to yours and he hears the mop change hands.

✧ It takes you a long time to realize that you’re really being assigned to Ghost’s side for every fucking thing you do. It takes you an even longer time to realize that Price tends to pass by you two on occasion, and every time he does, he’s smiling. And it takes you a ridiculously long time to realize that Ghost isn’t always radiating heat; whenever he takes the mop from you or takes the gun you’re cleaning from you, whenever he finishes off a task that you’ve started, it’s not that he’s always that hot. It’s that, under that mask, he’s flushed.

✧ It takes you a very, very long time to realize that the legendary Ghost has taken an actual liking to you.

— JOHN “SOAP” MACTAVISH.

✧ Thank fucking god this guy is next. Slow burn ass Ghost makes me want to rip my eyes out. Just have passionate angry sex and talk about your feelings after. Christ.

✧ It’s not exactly a secret that the minute you arrived on base, you gained an admirer.

✧ Soap isn’t someone who rarely gets hooked on someone else. The guy’s a walking heart eyes emoji. The difference with you was that it wasn’t the kind of attraction that had him sweet-talking you over drinks that night.

✧ This was different. Rather than chase, Soap wanted to impress — and, well, he tried. He tried his fucking hardest. He tried so hard the other higher-ups noticed. How embarrassing.

✧ Every time you’re in the room, he somehow gets even chattier. His voice drops. If he’s working out, he starts loading weights onto the bar he’s using to an almost comical degree. He loses his fucking mind. It’s like he short circuits. Which is ridiculous, because he’s a fucking soldier. What the fuck is he doing trying to lift five hundred pounds on a Tuesday morning? Why is he freaking the fuck out?

✧ The thing is, right, is you’re not exactly hovering over the guy. You have your own agenda to adhere to and also, it would be really weird if you just started laying praises on him, so you go about your day as regular and poor Soap is left heartbroken and also achy-armed because you literally could not care less that he’s lifting double, triple his body weight.

✧ Literally every higher-up notices. They make jokes about it and he borders on threatening friendly fire. It’s just a little crush. That’s all it is. Yeah. And so when you’re all doing team sparring and you keep winning, he’s just watching you like a lovesick puppy because it’s just a little crush. That’s all.

✧ Price can’t have his soldiers slacking off. Of course not. He can’t have them getting lazy — so he orders Soap to go up against you. Because, you know, he seems out of it and you’re the best of the recruits, so you’ll go against someone better. Yeah. That’s why he calls him out.

✧ God bless the poor guy. He panics for like three seconds and then makes a very thickly-accented taunt about how it’s unfair to you to go up against him. You, of course, in the spirit of good fun, reply to his taunt and tell him to prove it.

✧ He goes into the circle with you. He goes into the circle with you and he fucking falls apart.

You’ve quickly learned that talking is Soap’s weakness. If his mouth is moving, his feet fall behind.

“Get enough sleep last night, MacTavish?” You dodge a flying fist. “You look a little sleepy.”

“Got plenty.” A wry grin crosses his face. “Don’t worry about my beauty sleep.”

“I have reason to. You need it.” You wrinkle your nose. “Bad.”

Soap’s jaw drops slightly, and — there! — he hesitates. Probably out of surprise, but it’s enough. Deftly, you lunge in at his knees, swipe them out, and…hm. Simple. Almost too easy, actually, to pin him.

Soap’s heart is pounding under your hand. His chest is flat against the ground, but you can feel it through his back, which is wild in and of itself. He grunts when his cheek hits the ground; he mumbles something akin to “bloody hell”, but you can’t quite make out the words.

Grinning, you sit back and kick your heel up against his neck, keeping his head pinned down. The cheering you receive mostly comes from recruits who are impressed with your skill.

The minority is higher-ups, exchanging amused glances. They seem awfully humored with the sight of one of their own being pinned so easily by a new recruit. Hmm…

✧ From that point on, Soap somehow manages to watch more of your sparring sessions. He usually just watches, rather than critique; if you ask, he’ll just say you certainly seem to be doing fine. If you ask for help, though, he’ll help you. Christ, he’ll help you. He’ll genuinely spend time assisting you on whatever is troubling you.

✧ Eventually, after a long training day, you decide to ask Soap to join you in the ring. You genuinely just want to see how you stack up to a “better” opponent; you’ve apparently pushed beating him to the side. Or you just want to do it again. He doesn’t think of that, though.

✧ He’ll come in (after teasing you just a bit) and he will spar with you, just giving you advice and pointers mid-action. He’s whipped, but he’s also still a trained soldier. He knows what he’s doing, and once he gets through the brain fog you seem to weigh down onto him, he is genuinely helpful.

✧ Still, after you’re both hot and panting and finished and resting on the sidelines, you have to ask him why he helps you so much. You have to ask if it’s because he thinks you’re lacking, or bad, or if it’s some sort of personal vendetta for that one time in front of the recruits and the higher-ups.

✧ Soap just laughs and, rather awkwardly, rubs at his neck. He avoids eye contact, and he bites his lip, and he tilts his head around before he dares answer you, tone sheepish. “Consider it a, ah, personal interest.”

— KEEGAN P RUSS.

✧ SHITS MYSELF VIOLENTLY. SO SORRY

✧ i love this fucking man so very much and i don’t know jack shit abt him because i need to play ghosts and get the first hand experience like I don’t want to spoil his character but I URRRGHHGGGGG

✧ imma try to do him justice but sorry if im missing on important lore

✧ He’s not as uptight as Ghost, but he’s not as whipped as Soap. He’s somewhere in the middle; he’s aware that you’re attractive but he does push it aside. He’s working. You’re working. He doesn’t have time for that, and it’s also a safety concern. He remembers what they did to Ajax, and god fucking forbid they try to pull that shit with anyone else to use as bait.

✧ When he’s at base, he’s busy. He’s devoted to his work and he doesn’t cut corners to chit-chat. The most social he’ll really get is at dinner; he’s the kind of person who will eat with the group, but rather than talk, he’ll really just listen. he’s me fr fr

✧ Getting to know Keegan is sort of awkward because he’s just not super outgoing. He’s attractive (if your radio is on and you don’t buckle at the knees the first time you hear his sexy deep pantywetting voice over the thing, are you even real?) and he’s got the whole mysterious quiet guy thing down, and yet when you approach him to try and strike up a conversation with a simple question (“So how was your day?”) he’s prone to just looking at you and raising a brow and answering sort of flatly. (“Same as every other one. What, did something happen?”)

✧ Most of your bonding actually occurs when it’s just the two of you. You’ve bumped into him late at night before — sometimes he’s at the range shooting targets and fiddling with a variety of weapons, or sometimes he’s in the kitchen scouring the shelves, or sometimes he’s in the gym working out when nobody is there to bother him and ogle his fine ass fucking body holy shit his thighs. He’s a little easier to talk to at night, actually. Maybe it’s the lack of a crowd, but the first time you stumble into him making himself a pot of fucking tea at damn near midnight, he actually seems friendly.

“What are you making?” For a moment, you panic, thinking that you might’ve just scared the shit out of poor Keegan by speaking so suddenly and from behind where he’s standing beside the sink, a little humming kettle in front of him. His shoulders god his fuckinf shoulders i want to lick them don’t so much as twitch, though — and then you remember the guy’s entire job is stealth and observation. Hell, he probably heard you across camp.

“Tea.” Yeah, he couldn’t sound less concerned. His voice is as low and gravelly as usual; he sounds a little more relaxed, actually, not so brash and shout-y. “Chamomile.”

“Sergeant Russ drinks chamomile tea?” You laugh a little, sort of tentatively. You two aren’t strangers, but you’ve only had a few conversations…if you can call brief exchanges conversations, of course.

“…yeah?” Keegan actually sounds confused; it’s dark in the kitchen, but you can make out the outline of his head turning over his shoulder. “What, you got a problem with that?”

“No. No, sir. No problem.” You shrug. “I just didn’t peg you to be the chamomile tea type.”

“Didn’t you?” The short scoffish bark Keegan lets out is a brief laugh. “What did you peg me for?”

“Dunno. Black, I guess.”

“Are you calling me boring?”

“No.”

Keegan hums in response to that. He busies himself with pouring his tea and thank fucking god your eyes have adjusted to the dim light in here because god, his fucking hip to waist ratio under that gear is something wicked and you let your conversation slip. You’re in here for a snack, but you don’t want to bother—

“You come in here for somethin’ other than staring?” Oh. Good. This is the Keegan you’d expected after hearing him sass half of his team on comms. You can hear the edge of a grin in his voice; there’s a shuffle as he turns around and then a wooden groan as he leans against the counter. A short second later, you hear the almost exaggerated slurp of tea.

“Crackers. I’m hungry.”

A wooden scrubbing sound. He’s moved over, presumably to let you open the cabinet housing boxes of sort of dry, not particularly good crackers. He doesn’t say a word; he just keeps drinking his tea and pretends to ignore you as you make your way over, crouching down to fumble for a bag of crackers. Pretend, because you can feel that he’s watching you. His presence on the field is invisible; his gaze in the kitchen is not. Still, he doesn’t bother you; he lets you get your crackers and retire to the edge of the counter across from him to snack, and he doesn’t say a word.

“Are you always so quiet?” You gesture vaguely at the slight shape of him. “Is it just part of the job?”

Keegan laughs, more to himself than in response to you. “Sure.”

✧ He is, generally, pretty quiet. His usual demeanor is laid-back and observant; if he’s not under stress, though, and you start talking to him, he’ll respond almost always with something mildly sarcastic. You come to learn that he isn’t actually boring. He’s got a quick sense of occasionally-dark humor. Sometimes he laughs at his own jokes—usually after he’s started to walk away from you. He’s fiercely protective of the Ghosts and any recruits training near or with them. He also doesn’t seem to mind you.

✧ You’d hesitate to say you two were friends — it always seemed like there was something in between you, though you couldn’t name what — but you were friendly, and it was nice.

✧ During group dinners, he’d stand against the wall behind you. Or across from you, though usually doing that meant that he’d make a game out of trying to get you to squirm under his constant staring. He’d run into you late-night in the kitchen and make casual, not uncomfortable, small talk. Hell, at one point he offered you a drink post-training and made a sort of point to always offer you one whenever you had returned to base and were lingering around in the later hours.

✧ After a particularly long day, you find him in the kitchen, just drinking straight from the bottle. He offers you the thing — he seems more than a little tipsy, but when you decline (he’s been drinking directly from it, and…the fuck does army hygiene look like?) he sort of half-laughs and says, sarcastically, “What d’you look so horrified for? Too good to share a bottle, princess?” and then he immediately excused himself afterward.

✧ You know that saying, “drunk words are sober thoughts”? Yeah. Yeah.

✧ i need the fatty part of keegans thigh in my mouth right now i need to bite it i need to bite it and go rrrrrahrhrahrah like a fucking rabid dog

[houseofperfecttaste]

Liam Dunbar - Don't Touch Her

warnings: fighting, swearing, sexual activity

"Hey are you coming tonight?" Lydia asked cheerfully coming up to me at my locker.

"No Im going to one of David's friends party. I wanted to go to yours but he said I couldn't because he wasn't going to be there." I rolled my eyes slamming my locker shut leaning against it. "Bitch break up with him." Lydia said crossing her arms. "You deserve so much better than the piece of shit he is." I laughed nodding. "Yeah I do and I'll do it soon I need to work up the courage." We walked to class and I explained to her how David and I got into a huge fight about me going to Lydias party. After class ended I got a text from David saying he was outside and I sighed walking out of the school when I heard someone calling my name behind me. I turned around and it was Liam.

"Hey Lydia told me you're not coming tonight." He pouted and I frowned. "I wish I could but I'm going to Davids friends party." Liams jaw clenched and I could've sworn I saw his eyes glow for a millisecond but I shrugged it off. I said my goodbyes and got into my boyfriends car.

"What did Liam want?" David spat out rolling his eyes and I copied his action. "He was just asking why I couldn't go to Lydias." I shrugged pulling my phone out as he scoffed. "He's disappointed he doesn't get to fuck you." "What the fuck are you talking about? He's just my friend." "No guy is just friends with a girl unless he wants to fuck her." David spat rolling his eyes and I smirked pressing my tongue against my cheek.

"So you want to fuck all your girl friends?" I raised my eyebrows at him as he rolled his eyes shaking his head. "Don't start this shit Y/N." "You said it not me." I chuckled going on Instagram. I watched tiktoks on his bed for 3 hours while he played on his xbox ignoring me until it was time to get ready for the party. I was wearing leather pants with a baby blue top that wrapped around my tits and my neck. David came up to me smacking my ass and kissing my neck. I rolled my eyes nudging him away from me. He huffed grabbing his keys and going down to his car stomping along the way and mumbling things under his breath. I chuckled at his childish behavior and headed down getting into his car.

"I forbid you from talking to Liam ever again." He said his jaw clenched and his grip on the steering wheel tight. "Who the fuck are you to forbid me from talking to him ever again?" I yelled sitting up and turning my body to look at David. "Your fucking boyfriend and fix your attitude because we're here." He turned the car off and I scoffed in disbelief. "Me fix my attitude? Are you fucking serious?" I yelled getting out of the car and he rushed over to me clasping his hand over my mouth pushing me against the car glaring at me.

"Shut the fuck up now. You're going to act like you're super happy and that we're perfect." He said removing his hand as I glared at him and walked up the driveway he tried to grab my hand but I moved it away from him. We entered the party and I got myself a drink and sat on the couch with David next to me as we talked to his friends. David got up saying he was going to get us drinks and I waved him off talking to a girl I knew. After a few minutes I got up to look for David and I found him dancing with some girl letting her twerk on him. I chuckled nodding my head and going to get myself another drink or few.

Lydias house was only a few blocks away so I decided to walk to her house and I rang her doorbell waiting for the strawberry blonde to open the door. "Hey Lyd!" I exclaimed as she opened the door and she looked at me with wide eyes but engulfed me in a hug. She handed me a drink asking what happened and I chugged the drink grabbing another. "That bastard was letting some girl twerk on him so I left and we're done." I shrugged drinking the fruity liquid as I scanned the room and my eyes stopped on Liam.

"Hey Liam, you're looking amazing tonight." I said flirtatiously batting my eyelashes at him and touching his bicep. "Hey Y/N w-what are you doing here?" He stuttered looking at my finger running along his bicep. "David basically cheated on me so here I am!" I exclaimed throwing my hands in the air and laughing as I was a little tipsy.

"Oh my god Y/N ar-"

"I'm perfect Dunbar! Anyway there is someone else i've been looking at." I cut his last sentence off and winked at him when I finished my sentence. He pointed to himself and I nodded biting my lip and grabbing his hand. "Let's go dance." I lead him to the dance floor standing in front of him and I placed his hands on my hips as I swayed them back and forth. I lifted my arm and placed my hand on the back of his neck pulling him closer. I looked to my left and saw Lydia and Stiles dancing together as she recorded it on her snapchat and she panned it over to Liam and I and I smiled at the camera moving my hips on Liam and playing with his hair.

"Post it!" I yelled over the music to Lydia knowing she has David on snap and he'll lose his mind over it. I felt my phone vibrating over and over again meaning that David was calling me and I chuckled pulling my phone out.

'Why the fuck did I see a video of you grinding on Dunbar? I forbided you from talking to him.' 'Y/N fucking answer me this isn't funny.' There we're a lot of other texts and calls from him but I ignored them and kept dancing with Liam. "He forbid you from talking to me?" Liam chuckled looking at my phone and I giggled nodding. "He thinks you want to fuck me. Which I know is true but I didn't want to tell him that." I giggled turning around and wrapping my arms around his neck my lips close to his. "Damn I thought I was pretty good with hiding that." He chuckled smirking and biting his lip. "You weren't as slick as you thought."

The door was kicked open and I turned around to see David standing in the doorway with 2 of his friends behind him. "You're dead Dunbar!" David yelled pointing at him walking over to us and he grabbed Liam by the collar of his shirt slamming him against the wall punching him in the face. David turned around grabbing my arm dragging me away. "You're coming with me." Liam grabbed my other arm pulling me away from David who's face was as red as a tomato and he launched towards Liam but he moved shoving David against the wall.

"Don't touch her. I don't want you looking at her, going near her, hell I don't even want you to think about her. She's not yours anymore you fucked it up. Leave her alone and don't ever lay your hands on her."

One of the friends tried to punch Liam but he dodged it punching the guy in the jaw kicking him into the wall as Theo punched the other one who fell to the ground. Liam walked up to David turning his head to look at me then back at David with a smirk. "I know you're worried that I want to fuck her and I just want you to know that I will be." Liam chuckled patting Davids shoulder and walking over to me crashing his lips onto mine. David charged at Liam tackling him down to the ground throwing punches left and right as Liam was blocking them and Liam got out from under David and pinned him to the ground throwing punches to his face and body and David wasn't blocking them too well.

Liam got off of David glaring down at him. "Get the fuck out and leave Y/N alone." Liam growled and David got up running out with his friends. Liam came over to me and I grabbed his cheeks kissing him as he smiled into the kiss placing his hands on my waist. "Thank you Liam." I said pulling away and resting my forehead on his. "I'll do anything for you." I blushed tilting my head down and Liam shook his head lifting my chin up to look at him. "Wanna get out of here?" He asked smiling cheekily and I nodded kissing his lips before he lead me out to his car helping me get in.

"I forgot to tell you, you look absolutely beautiful." He said kissing my cheek and buckling my seatbelt for me. "You look so absolutely handsome and sexy." I bit my lip admiring his muscles and body and he had an amused look at he watched me admire him. He placed his hand on my thigh squeezing it kissing my jaw. "Get in the car Dunbar." I whispered against his lips and he pecked them before getting in the drivers seat.

He drove to his house carrying me up to his room placing me on his bed climbing on top of me placing his hand on my cheek caressing it and staring into my eyes. "Is it too soon to ask you to be my girlfriend?" Liam asked licking his lips and I shook my head. "Nope not at all." I wrapped my arms around his neck playing with hair on the nape of his neck. "Will you be my girlfriend?" "Yes Liam." I leaned up pressing my lips to his as I trailed my hands over his shoulders and down his chest and stomach.

I played with the hem of his shirt as he slipped his tongue inside my mouth exploring my mouth making me moan and I slipped my hand under his shirt moaning louder when feeling his abs and I tugged on his shirt and he pulled away letting me take it off of him. He untied my top the outline of his cock showing more. I reached forward grabbing his cock and he groaned unbuttoning my pants and sliding them down my legs. He kissed my pussy over my panties making me whimper and he pulled my underwear to the side licking up my clit.

"Ah! Liam!" I squealed grabbing his hair tugging on it as he sucked on my clit harshly and flicked his tongue over it. "L-Liam!" I arched my back and he reached up to press me down on the bed and my legs shook as I felt my orgasm approaching. "Cum for me baby let me taste you." He encouraged sticking two fingers into me as he flicked his tongue over my clit and I screamed and struggled as he lead me through my orgasm. He held my hips firmly against his face burying it deeper into my pussy making me squeal and buck my hips against his face.

He growled pushing me down as swirled his tongue around my entrance and then dipping it into me making my muscles relax against his tongue and I felt his smile against me as he circled my walls with his tongue. “You like this baby?” He teased rubbing the inside of my thighs. “Yes baby you feel so good. So fucking good.” I moaned out closing my eyes in pleasure squeezing my thighs around his head and he pulled away smacking my pussy. He took his pants off and aligned himself with my hole pushing in stretching me out and making me whimper and moan.

“Harder baby. Your cock feels so good.” I moaned biting my lip to contain my screams as he held my legs back pounding into me relentlessly. I had my eyes squeezed shut my mouth in an O shape as I arched my back feeling his cock deep in my stomach. He spread my legs wider hitting deeper making me scream his name and scratch at his back leaving marks. My vision was getting blurry and my head was spinning from all the pleasure I couldn’t even remember my own name.

“You look so hot when you take my cock like a good little girl. You like feeling daddy’s cock deep inside of you?” He teased as I nodded my head slowly my eyes rolling to the back of my head. “I didn’t fucking hear you.” “Y-yes d-daddy!” I screamed digging my nails into his back. “Did David ever fuck you dumb like this baby? Not being able to control your screams and moans.” He chuckled kissing my tits and wrapping his lips around my nipples as he slowed down his pace. “No daddy he never fucked me like this. Your cock is so big baby.” I screamed out as my body started to shake.

Liam reached down starting to rub my clit and my eyes rolled to the back of my head as I released all over his cock and he pulled out his cum covering my stomach as we both panted. He grabbed paper towels cleaning me up and kissing my lips. I threw on one of his sweatshirts and he wrapped his arms around me holding me close.

[shookmom]

hi there !! i'm really excited to bring in this majestic goat into the group and maybe even get you guys to become fans of his work too !! fair warning before i say anything else is that he's a sideblog of another account that's already in here. i’d love to plot with any and all of you so my dms are always, always open!

so, without further ado, presenting bobby orlando, a party boy wrestler that was once on a game show called frogger on peacock and… well, under the cut is all you need to know!

bobby is very much so a dude that isn't limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity. he doesn't have any preferences on who he flirts with. if you're attractive and fun to hang around then he will flirt with you.

he jokingly calls himself your mom and the fact that bobby jr isn't a stuffed animal but in fact a real goat.

he's in a team with his two best friends, bryce donovan and max caster, and like all of caster's teams they incorporate rap into it. bryce and max typically do it more than bobby does. however bobby does have a tiktok which he's very active on. a lot of the videos are comedy gold.

hasn't stopped dabbing! continues to use old slang like yolo and swagalicious. instead of using the word bitch, he calls everyone a bish. it's a word that isn't insulting in his vocabulary.

his hobbies include creating videos on various of platforms, binge watching the simpson's, training army of goats to one day take over the world, playing video games, and just generally being the life of every party.

CONNECTIONS;

@ orangepvnch - basically like his older brother, a vet that has taken him under his wing, and advocates how talented bobby is. orange also looks out for him and makes sure he eats and drinks water and takes his adhd meds and trains him.

@ dcvilscut - before jayson and orange got back together, jayson took his daughter to a beyond wrestling show, which is where they first seen bobby and lily instantly liked him because he brings a goat stuffie to the ring. nowadays, they have hung out quite often. lily has a miniature version of bobby's ring gear, and whenever the couple want to have a date night bobby will babysit lily.

@ princeofplainview - max is that one annoying friend that bobby isn't sure why he has them around still because he acts like he's better than everyone but he also treats bobby better than he treats most others despite him and max caster both enjoy playfully getting under his skin because he kinda actually cares about bobby.

@ ncwdevil - bobby had the "best night of his life" with damien filled with sex, drugs, and alcohol the first night that they'd met each other. to keep bobby coming back, damien offers to become his new supplier, giving him really good deals. they basically have sex then damien gives him drugs, offering stronger stuff than bobby's original supplier.

[captainstoneybaloney]

I have got to the point where when someone makes an obviously bullshit accusation of someone being a russian misinfo bot if you say anything critical of biden, that's an automatic block.

You KNOW they're not a bot. You just refuse to engage in good faith with what they're saying. You know the things biden does are indefensible, so you don't defend them, instead you make up different stuff to pretend the commenter said, stuff that's a lot easier to argue against, and talk to them like they're a moron. "Oh, and trump's gonna be better how, exactly?" That would be an easy argument to win, if the other person had actually said that. But they didn't. You created a strawman to argue against instead, and are gonna be loud and aggressive about it so they'll just shut up, and you won't have to worry about the ethical implications of defending an evil status quo.

Biden lied, right from the beginning, about having personally seen the nonexistant photos of beheaded babies. He used that to try to trick us into consenting to help them bomb the bejesus out of a captive population.

Biden supports the ban on tiktok, which has been giving the american people a perspective not pre-filtered by major u.s. news sources and social media. If we don't hear those nasty facts, we might stop complaining about helping them do it.

He's also denying that it's a genocide and letting his press people get pissy at reporters when they press them about it.

Biden supports the suppression of the protesting students. Not a surprise, because the BLM protests and what led to them inspired him to tell us how much he loves the cops, and how the answer to police brutality is to just give them more and more money and support.

Let me emphasize this further: biden has access to more information on this situation than possibly any other. There is no question he knows what is actively going on. He is using his power as predident to make it easier for them to commit this genocide. His response to our backlash about this is suppression and punishment of dissent.

Biden campaigned on how fucked up the concentration camps for Mexicans at the border were, and then proceeded to not only do nothing to fix it, but to let it get even worse on his watch, and just never mention it again.

There's the health coverage crisis, that if you remember, when he was running in the primary against Sanders, his platform was to not help us because our ability to choose between insurance providers in the business of not helping us was more important than getting medical care. He said, out of his own mouth, that he was not a progressive.

If trump is standing there, and you draw a line in front of him, no, in fact, fuck no, biden is not nearly different enough from trump to be qualified to stand on the other side of that line and point at trump and call the kettle black.

I undersrand a lot of you are in vulnerable positions. You might say, "hey, i have to vote for him in self-preservation, because the other side are openly planning on criminalizing my existence." To that, I say "fair point." I'm not arguing against it. In fact, and I'll capitalize it for emphasis:

I AM NOT TELLING ANYONE NOT TO VOTE FOR BIDEN. I AM SURE AS FUCK NOT SUGGESTING ANYONE VOTE FOR TRUMP.

I would pay to see both of them fall into an active volcano like the Gollum.

What I am telling people they should do is stop perpetuating bullshit. Stop trying to get people to stop saying true things because it makes it harder to pretend the guy you want them to vote for isn't both stupidly evil and arrogantly obvious about it. Stop acting like it's our obligation to eat shit and pretend it's chocolate ice cream. Stop acting like voting for biden isn't something we're being made to do under the threat of trump. Stop acting like the democrat party isn't encouraging the republicans to get further out of control because it makes it easier for them to look good by comparison while steering, (I won't say "drifting" because that implies it could be accidental) further and further right every year.

Things are dire, but you don't have to be a useful idiot and give your fucking endorsement to things worsening. You don't have to volunteer to help them hold the gun they're pointing at us to coerce us into voting for them. You don't have to run into every post rightfully critcizing biden and accuse people of a psyop while making a show of how hard you can suck his fascist dick.

[shotorozu]

‘hey y’all i’m here w/ my best friend’

tiktok prank

character(s) : todoroki shouto, midoriya izuku, bakugou katsuki (bnha)

based off this tiktok

legend : [Y/N = your name] they/them pronouns used, quirk not mentioned

headcanon type : crack, fluff (x reader)

note(s) : yeah so my activity is pretty wonky 💀 anyways have you guys seen how momo looked like in the new episode? hot and the baddest b word in the house, as always

»»————-　♡　————-««

todoroki shouto

you think it’ll be hilarious to see, because his reactions are always top tier

despite his usual stoic and neutral expressions, with you— his expressions are versatile, and he creates expressions no one thought he was even capable of 💀

when your classmates saw your tiktoks, it was shocking to all of them, excluding the obvious, which was you of course

but lowkey, you’re scared 💀 shouto could go from this loving, and sweet boyfriend, to the coldest bitch alive

still, you decide to go through with it

doesn’t think too much when you ask him to be in a tiktok, it’s quite routine at this point— plus, he finds it fun

but the AUDIOO

and shouto’s always willing to be in any tiktok you want him to be in, BUT

‘bestfriend’ 😐❓ who are you calling ‘bestfriend’

stops in place and looks at you like you just slapped him, did he hear that correctly? like,, why the hell are you calling him your ‘bestfriend’

he’s your lover

“boyfriend.” he corrects you stern, but you pretend that you don’t hear the correction, “you mean, you’re here with your boyfriend.”

and yet, you go on like you didn’t hear a thing, shouto’s eyes narrow— and it almost feels like his right side has been activated just slightly

you have to hold back a shiver when he gets real close to you “boyfriend. not best friend, i’m your boyfriend.”

he doesn’t mean to be this worked up about it, it’s just a tiktok— and when you move the camera away, completely ‘unbothered’ he feels himself growing impatient

and when the video ends, the cool atmosphere seems to break into two, when you burst out laughing

“shou, it was just another tiktok prank, we’re way past the bestfriend stage, and you know it!” you poke his cheek, still laughing at his reaction

but, he’s relieved. your acting was good— and he’s glad that he’s not just imagining things.

otherwise he’d have to start acting desperate

the video gets a good amount of views and likes, and comments are INTERESTING “ooo did you see the way he just went up all close 👀” “i can feel the cool aura BWNDKWS” “he got so worked up 🏃💨 oh to have a relationship like that 😔🖐💔”

in short, never address him as your best friend. you either address him as ‘shou’ ‘love’ ‘pretty boy’ or ‘my boyfriend’

midoriya izuku

the trend itself isn’t the funniest thing on tiktok, but it’s the reactions that makes up for it, y’know?

that’s why you decided to pull this ‘prank’ on izuku— his reactions are golden afterall

but a part of you couldn’t help but feel worried if he’d take personal offense 💀

similar to todoroki, your boyfriend is very willing when it comes tiktok pranks— despite it being well,, intense, sometimes

looked SO confused when you called him your ‘bestfriend’ and the smile is WIPED off his face

“b-bestfriend?” he has to make sure he heard it correctly, and he wants to throw a hissy fit when you ignore him

“Y/N?” he nudges his head on your shoulder, not liking the idea of being presented as your best friend, “i’m your boyfriend!” he laughs nervously

literally pouts

the struggle doesn’t last terribly long, as izuku continues to mouth boyfriend, when the word ‘best friend’ is being said (also while he smiles at the camera with awareness, he’s growing petty, can’t you tell?)

and also while he tries to make you look at him, by showcasing a look of innocence while leaning on, just because

when you finally acknowledge him with a stifled laugh, his expression is like 👁👄👁❓❓

yet, izuku’s relieved when you start full on laughing, wonderful laughter falling from your lips, the desperation calming down

and— the sudden mood change is well,, impressive! he was literally distressed from the word ‘best friend’ just a second ago, and now he’s relieved 💀

“r-right, you know i’m not just your best friend,” and he looks into the camera with satisfaction

the tiktok blows up, and comments overall— went insane over him

“mann he was so desperate 💀 he just kept correcting you” “bruh he was like ‘hold up’ 🖐😭” “NEVER call him your best friend again🏃💨 just look at that satisfied look at the end‼️” “aww look at that pout 🤩”

izuku’s surprised, sheepish— when all of his friends inform him about the sudden rise of his appearance on the app (afterall, he’ll still remain with you, even if he got even more popular)

needless to say, izuku will get desperate if you call him your best friend— man already spent some time being called your best friend and he won’t bear being called it for any longer

bakugou katsuki

should,, you be scared? you should be but you’re not 💀 you can’t find yourself fearing death, since you’re dating katsuki bakugou

you say fuck it, and rope katsuki into your tiktok antics once again.

and to any outsider’s eyes, it would be surprising when katsuki joins in on your tiktok schemes

but it not— even though the blond pretends to hate it, he secretly loves doing these with you

except, that statement is ABOUT to be retracted back, when the audio mentions the word ‘best friend’

excuse you? katsuki is faar from being your best friend. that word literally makes him cringe, he hated being stuck in the friend zone even though katsuki looked like he didn’t care when he was still stuck in it

he literally glares at the camera, his palm’s already popping with mini sparks. if you were anyone else, you would’ve started pleading for your life but you fear NOTHING at this point

“who the fuck are you calling best friend??” he’s furious, and you try your best to ignore it, biting back laughter— as you film the tiktok

“i’m talking to you!” he fumes, getting even closer to you— and you don’t seem to budge, as you continue to record

then, he YANKS your phone out of your hands, and starts talking, well yelling— as if the tiktok would record his voice anyway

“i’m their boyfriend thank you very much! now fuck off extras! this ‘bestfriend’ will beat your asses!” he scolds as if he’s talking to the potential viewers, and stops recording— and hands your phone back to you calmly

you’re laughing your ass off, experiencing absolute field day, and he’s just like 😐🖐 looking super unpleased how could he not? he’ll never admit that he was this worked up though

similar to midoriya, the friendzone was a pain in the neck for him— so to make him feel like he was thrown back in it for a tiktok

just because it’s for a tiktok, doesn’t automatically give you an easy pass

“you were SO mad” you laugh at his expression, and he just says

“shut the fuck up, and you better not post that shit!” then proceeds to scoop you up, despite all your protests— and haul you into his room

you gotta give him cuddles, or he’ll be like 👹 a literal demon for the rest of the day.

but on the bright side— you have content‼️and the video did blow up, despite initially telling your boyfriend you wouldn’t 💀

“omg, you don’t fear death, death fears YOU.” “i can literally hear his voice through the screen, we love a protective boyfriend 🤩” “fly high, it’s been 4 hours since they’ve posted 😔🕊”

and when kirishima informed him about his sudden boom of popularity on tiktok, he knew that you had some explaining to do 🧍‍♀️

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission

[leftovercheesecake]

I'm addicted to mha actor headcanons so here we go

overhaul knew eri beforehand - the two had worked together before and she was very happy to see him again

sasaki (nighteye) is a lot nicer than his character. he's very nice to newer actors and has a great sense of humour

during the scene where mirio appears in the wall near deku, sasaki couldn't stop laughing and eventually he was asked to leave until they finished filming it, causing everyone else to laugh

tamaki is surprisingly extroverted in real life. he doesn't go out of his way to talk to people but he doesnt mind sending back an order, yk?

jirou and kaminari knew each other from school before the show and became really good friends after the first season

kaminari is scarily smart

momo had a crush on jirou when they first met, but over time it went away

mr compress and twice are terrible with spoilers so they blank out any lines that aren't theirs on their scripts. dabi and toga find this hilarious

kurogiri and shirakumo are played by two different people, and kurogiri has a stunt double. the three of them are very good friends

working with nezu, hagakure and the like is incredibly awkward. Not because they're bad actors, but because it's just a person in a green screen

iida and mei are very close off camera and they hang out a lot, both of them bullying the other's characters

mina has a tiktok series where she bullies the cast when they mess up a line

shigaraki taught deku a lot of what he knows about acting and theatre, and shiggy was always someone he looked up to

hizashi finds his character absolutely hilarious. he often gets embarrassed about the things he says but he still finds it funny

often times you can see tokoyami, komori, and kuroiro making tikoks in the background, though it's only noticeable if you're looking for it

monoma always feels bad about insulting people from 1a and always apologises afterwards

shinsou constantly forgets his lines

one time aoyama was dared to just stare into the camera so he did it and then he kept doing it for laughs and now it's just a habit

it takes ages for aizawa to do a take he likes

endeavour is a really nice guy, but is just that good of an actor that everyone thinks he's mean off camera

hawks used to be a stunt double, so he prefers to do most of his stunts himself

sasaki is very active on social media and defends everyone when they get hate

stain is an absolute dumbass most of the time, and in the scene were he threatens shigaraki he whispered "are we about to kiss?". that also had sasaki howling

eri was very shy at the beginning, and she made most of her friends through the show and came out of her shell a lot

todoroki is very hard to recognise in real life because he doesn't look ANYTHING like his character

natsuo, shoto, enji, rei, fuyumi and touya hang out together in public and send the fans mad

one time, hizashi logged into his account on one of the computers in the ua staff room and started playing minecraft and didn't realise they were recording. nobody noticed until he brought it up in an interview

bakugo is very chill. he often takes members of the cast out for food or drinks (not everyone at once - lord knows)

rei did have to go to the psych ward when she was younger, and was very glad that people in there weren't portrayed offensively

mina loves working on mha, but she hates having to cover herself in bright pink body paint

nejire was a minecraft and genshin streamer and jokingly auditioned. she found out she got the part while streaming. however, she was not allowed to say, because it had a chance of spoiling part of season 3 and 4

nemuri and mitsuki are the moms of the set, and always make sure everyone eats. inko, however, just jokes around with the others and goofs off when she's not in the scene

bakugo calls mitsuki his twitter mom, because she always defends him on social media

eri and kota go to school together, and the kids in the provisional license exam (the second one with camie, bakugo and todoroki) are their classmates

when eri grows older, she's still known as "eri from my hero academia"

[thefanficmonster]

Rumors

Corpse Husband x Bimbo!Reader (Female)

Warnings: Mentions of Slut Shaming, Swearing

Genre: Fluff, Tiniest bit of Angst, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: When some rumors start floating around, every content creator does their best to either ignore them or defuse the situation. However, sometimes, the fans attempt to do the defusing themselves which only leads to a worse disaster. That’s the case for Corpse whose fans were quick to jump to his protection of some ‘false’ rumors.

Requested by Anon. Hi dear! Thank you so much for your request, it was a joy to write. I’m sorry for how long it has taken me to complete and post the fic but here it finally is and I hope you enjoy reading it at least half as much as I enjoyed writing it! Love, Vy ❤

Corpse cracks his knuckles, then his shoulders, then his collarbone, then the his neck. He clenches his jaw as he breathes steadily and rhythmically, trying to control an overwhelming wave of anger that he has never felt before. This is a situation he’s never had to deal with nor did he ever think he’d have to deal with and address on a fucking livestream on top of all, but here he is now, doing his best to count to ten and not go on a Twitter responding spree, calling people out on their bullshit. He wanted to do so, he still wants to, but he was stopped in his intentions and brought to a calm mindset where he was swayed into dealing with this the civil way and not by roasting the fuck out of any and every foul-mouthed person he’s seen on his Twitter timeline.

He can’t really guarantee and civility during the stream either, he’s aware his tolerance is as thin as a stretched out, old rubber band and is a slight tug away from snapping and allowing him to unleash hell on these people because of who he’s been seeing red these past few days. 

Let’s not risk a misunderstanding here - Corpse absolutely loves and adores his fans, but seeing this behavior from them is quite upsetting and disappointing. When he uses the terms like ‘assholes’, ‘jerks’ and ‘rude motherfuckers’ he isn’t referring to them. He knows they are good people, but are using the completely wrong tactic of defending him, not to mention he doesn’t even need defending. Even if he did, he’s more than capable of doing it on his own and not getting other people involved.

“Hello everyone, hope you’re doing well.“ He finally settles on saying, officially kicking off the stream. If there’s any indicator of the serious nature of this stream, it’s probably the lack of lo-fi and the lack of even attempted playfulness and cheeriness in his voice. That’s how you know shit isn’t to be messed around about. “I just realized I didn’t specify what I’ll be doing in the Tweet, but I’ll tell you now, so those who aren’t interested in the subject or want to steer clear of the drama can leave. However, I wouldn’t advise clicking off considering this will be an overall, how do I say this, rant, of sorts? It’s meant to knock some sense in the people who have been spreading hate for a specific person on all social media platforms she’s active on.“

The majority of the viewers are already familiar with the subject, some even guilty of spreading the hate Corpse mentioned, but there are a few that are completely clueless - the ones actually not interested in online drama, not just saying they ‘hate drama’. With those people in mind, Corpse takes to addressing the issue from its very beginning.

“So, for a month now, me and this streamer, who’s also a TikTok star, by the name of Y/N have been interacting a lot on social media. She’s an incredibly sweet girl that a lot of people have prejudice towards. She’s very misjudged and misunderstood because people see he solely as her content, if that makes sense. They only know she’s that streamer who wears revealing clothes on her streams and posts risqué pictures on her Instagram. Like, no.“ Corpse cannot even fully believe he has to address this and that slut-shaming people is still a thing in the twenty-first century. He closes his eyes for a moment, fist tightening and his knuckles turning white, “I don’t understand how so many people can be so shallow and just plain jerks towards her in general, but then again - this is especially for my fans, the members of my fandom - I don’t understand the need you guys feel to put Y/N down to defend me from some ridiculous rumors as if it’s the first time I’ve had to deal with people talking shit for attention or to get someone canceled.“ He sighs, reminding himself to slow his roll as to not confuse any viewers who still don’t know the full story, “Anyway, back to the timeline of events. So, considering we’ve never interacted before, all the replying to comments, retweeting, liking posts and whatever sparked some dating rumors. Isn’t that just fucking hilarious - you see two people interacting on social media and the first thing that comes to mind is that they’re in a romantic relationship. Where did the friendship go? Does no one value or consider friendships to be a valid type of human relation anymore?“ He runs a hand through his hair, making another pause to clear his mind and prevent his frustration from overflowing. He promised he wouldn’t lose his cool and would remain calm and collected, but the more he talks about it the tighter he clenches his fist and the faster his heartrate is. His neck and ears are red from the tension he feels all over, almost like he’s physically restraining a raging wild animal and not just his own thoughts and emotions.

There’s layers to his anger, the lower ones - aka the ones he’s yet to get to - will be a nightmarish test of his self-control, he already knows it. Judging by how much of a toll this rant has already taken on him, his patience and control growing thinner and thinner, he’s not sure how he’ll power through the last layers without his voice raising awfully high in volume and his fists searching for some object to punch. To an ignorant eye, his reaction would seem exaggerated and overboard, but little does that ignorant eye know...

“When some of my fans saw those rumors, they reacted very badly. It was quite disappointing to see. Guys, I appreciate you standing up for me even though you shouldn’t do that - I can defend myself, not that this was a matter I needed defending from to begin with. But just the way some of you went about it was horrifically wrong and quite upsetting, to me but especially to Y/N herself.“ He can feel it, the aggravation growing, bubbling up in his chest, “What I saw disgusted me, I’m not gonna sugarcoat it. The things some of you were saying...I couldn’t believe you are in fact the same people who are my fans, my lovely fans who I’ve always thought so highly of. Never did I think you could be able of slut-shaming so vulgarly and grossly, I couldn’t believe what I was reading.“

He has every right to be upset - the things being said about Y/N were truly awful and a lot of things being said were meant to defend Corpse and defuse the rumors, doing so while stomping all over Y/N and her content. Rightfully so, many of her fans were outraged and quick to jump to her defense but were unfortunately outnumbered, leading Corpse to believe not many of her fans are actually real or as dedicated as his which only fueled his fury further.

Anyway, let’s take a look at Y/N’s point of view. Being a content creator for as long as she has, refusing to change her style no matter how many people disagreed and insulted her about it, she’s grown quite used to people spitting insults at her on every social media possible. It’s sad how throughout the majority of her content creating career she’s only had haters, creeps and fake fans watching her videos and streams. Rare are those in her fandom who’d actually stick up for her and defend her in ‘scandals’ such as this one. However, no amount of experience with dealing with hate could have prepared her for this outpour of some of the meanest shit she’s ever heard and been called in her life.

Y/N likes the content she makes, she’s comfortable in her skin and loves her body. She loves showing it off too and nor she nor anyone who wants that deserves to be shamed for who they are and what they do, especially when they aren’t hurting anyone and their content is still appropriate. People have always bashed her for all elements of who she is: her appearance, her clothing style, her streams, her gaming skills, her voice on occasion. She can count the instances when she’s received positive feedback on the fingers of her hands which would depress anyone else but not her. She’s always created content for her own amusement and entertainment so people’s opinions never really bothered her. Until now, until this very drama that has hit a specific nerve, an insecurity of hers she’s never talked about. The comments such as:

(Vy Speaking: Comments containing slut-shaming ahead, go to ### if you want to skip)

“Corpse would never date a slut like her“

“Corpse dating this thot? Please internet stop being ridiculous“

“Corpse ain’t a pimp, y’all need to chill“

“Even if they datin they gon break up soon - whore stays a whore“

###

bothered her far more than she’d like to admit. She has no one to open up about it either, she knows what she’ll get in response if she does - she’ll be told it’s her fault. Her fault because of the way she dresses, the way she talks and acts, because she chose this career to begin with. All her fault. The only person she can turn to she refuses to because she doesn’t want to be a bother - not after so many people confirmed her worries that she’s not good enough for him already anyway, the least she can do is avoid bothering him the best she can.

And that is exactly why this has upset Corpse so much.

“Here’s a little message specifically meant for those who claimed I’d never date someone like Y/N or specifically Y/N. You better listen carefully: Don’t you ever, and I mean EVER slut-shame my girlfriend or any other person ever. I cannot believe I have to explicitly remind you that your behavior isn’t ok. You should fucking know that your behavior isn’t right and that you’re a massive piece of shit for saying those awful things about others you judge solely on appearance and clothing. Does it surprise you that I am, in fact, dating Y/N? If you say yes for the reason you think she’s not good enough for me or that I deserve better, please get the fuck out of my fandom. No one disrespects my girl and gets away with it. That’s final!“

Though still under the influence of a flurry of negative emotions, overhearing Corpse literally telling people to exclude themselves from his fandom for being mean to her, Y/N’s taking a step towards emotional recovery knowing her boyfriend will always have her back. He’ll always be there to prove people wrong, defend her and stand by her. He’ll be there to catch her when the hate knocks her off her feet.

But most importantly: he’ll never ask her to change. Not her style, not her clothes, not her personality, nothing. He fell for her the way she is and for who she is, and he will never allow anyone to try to change her either. For someone who’s never had much support all her life, a single speck of support overpowers all the hate within the blink of an eye. Corpse will always be her knight in shining armor, the knight who defeated all the hateful demons by just entering her life. And though she’s still struggling with the ‘Am I good enough for someone so wonderful?’ and ‘He deserves better, doesn’t he?’ questions, with his hand holding hers, she’ll never let those doubts and insecurities overpower her.

@maat-the-prescriptive  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @itsminniekat  @hacker-ghost  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat  @idontknowwhatthisisfam  @evi-ka  @classyandfabulous00  @redperson58  @lilysdaydreams @solowheein  @mythicalamphitrite  @axen-gers  @luckygirl144  @nj01  @buddyemily   @the-albino-lioness  @stardream14  @gdhdkfnn  @nomadicgypsyy  @preciousskye  @fluffysuicideunicornsworld  @o-kaelin  @manacharlotte  @awkward-youtube-trash  @lolalee24  @bonky-beerns  @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian  @strawbrinkofdeath  @teenloves  @tams0527  @browneyespinkhair  @starstruckllamapuppy  @daisychains012  @y0ulooked  @tinytacosuitcaseflap @supernatural-is-my-only-life  @jula-pauline  @melodykitty  @just-that-bi-girl  @crazybutconfidentaf  @lowellshade @alphakees  @bellero  @weallneednamjesus  @starryhanji  @boiled-onionrings  @husherstan  @fockingwhore  @melaningoddessthings  @prettypastelpetals  @haleypearce  @godwhyamiawkward  @y-napotat  @daisychainyoonmin  @little-miss-rebel3  @free-wheelin-bi-sexual  @redmoon261 @darkacademic2  @wiseflamingoqueen  @into-the-end  @namikhai-i  @nastiablr  @thelittleplantlover  @mirktuan  @dont-hyuck @jjk-bunny  @vintagegothlover  @easygoingtheatre  @itsrandombooklover  @miiaivi  @emmybaybee  @befourgolden  @jjk-is-my-shit  @eternalteaaars  @spacebadgerx  @princesslunalight  @acequinn14  @samm48  @misselsbells06 @simp-lykawa  @fo-love  @marishimomura-blog  @therealglenncoco  @cinnamonbun332  @killtherandomness  @sanshinexxxsan  @fee-btheweeb  @press-lay  @cathleenpotgieter16  @jazzydoesstuff  @moonlxghtbay  @forestrain2000  @hyunjinhugs  @blood-of-fandoms  @lovellylies  @ukiyolixx  @simpforhpcharacters  @chrisdylan17  @parkerjisung  @pedernille  @theodonyous  @wineandionysus  @malfoystilinskii05  @morbid-x  @coryisagee  @jessewa26  @scoobydooluver97 @mindintheskies365  @raeanneinwonderland  @indecisive-empanada  @gluttonypalace  @loriane2503  @btsiguess-kpop  @khaoticbunny  @lucidlycactus  @smiithys  @rottenroyalebooks  @kpopgirlbtssvt  @fangirl-tc27  @fr0z3n-1  @notmesimpingfortechno  @shotarosleftpinky  @kunoi-chan  @idk-whats-wrong-with-me  @yikeroonie  @goldenstarofthunderclan  @poetry-and-tea  @ama-do-writing-stuff  @wishbonewolf  @emeraldxhope  @t0xick1tty  @kusuinko  @speakyourselfloveyourself  @sophia902103  @lo-manburg  @classsykittykat  @dmgama  @depressedpuppythatneedscoffee  @btsiguess-kpop  @akaashi-baby  @gun-jong-simp  @geschichtenfee  @yerapotato-wp  @browneyedgirl365  @thysagclub  @sparklycloudnight  @helloatomicshadow  @queentorresstuff @vtte @val-gal  @lucy-bunny17  @aaliyahh0  @katluckybear  @boyleanti  @straybids  @franchesca-791  @cosmicstorm19  @averyisbackinthetrashcan  @hisokaslefttiti

[shirophantomvox]

How Illumi, Hisoka, and Chrollo would react to their S/O in the hospital

Hi, anon! You are welcome to join my Discord Server if you are a fan of Hxh, Voltron, or both! I promise this is a safe environment! This is an interesting topic for sure! To the other anon(s), I am working on your request! This will contain both fluff and angst. I forgot to include Leorio in this, so I’ll include him in the next HxH post. You’ll have to forgive me, I have 2 more requests in my inbox and I am not feeling the best. I just got my second Covid shot and it is hurting like hell. Nevertheless, I encourage you all to get your shot if you can. I will be on this site one and off and I should be on it for real next week. I have run out of ideas to write and I began to think I was annoying people with my HxH content (no one said this I just assumed). This post has 1974 words. After these requests are finished, I plan on doing a character analysis for Leorio.

Anyway, let’s get into the post!

We’ll start with Hisoka this time.

Hisoka

In all honesty, this man has heard of a hospital (since he sends a lot of people to it after fights) but has never been in one.

The signs, floors, staircase numbers, and elevators all confuse him. He has only been in one once when he was a kid and has never been again.

He isn’t a social butterfly in this setting because this is a professional establishment and not a college party. Asking for directions takes quite a toll on him because of his established pride. You know guys act when they want to find a destination on their own and will go miles out of the way instead of just asking for direction.

He doesn’t talk to anyone; all he wants to do is find you and make sure you are alright.

He is the tallest person in the freight elevator. So tall that everyone at turns to look at him at once for at least 10 seconds and turn back around surprised.

“How tall is he,” one of the nurses ask.

“Tall enough to be my house!”

This annoys him. He takes out the Joker card and lays it against his thigh but realizes he cannot make any hasty decisions. His bloodlust was activated merely out of irritation and not by threat. You were on his mind and destroying these worthless humans wasn’t an option for today.

He approached the guest desk and waited for about 2 minutes before he was acknowledged.

“May I help you,” a smug receptionist asked. Wow, these people do not know who they’re talking to.

“I’m here to see y/n.”

“Y/n is in room 345. Go down the hall and to the right all the way down.”

This man nearly ran with a quickness! His jester shoes somehow made the floor shake as he ran.

You were awake, eating the horrible food the hospital provided and watching TV. It seemed like you were doing ok, but you had just been in a car accident. Your arms and right leg were still sore. It was so bad that you’d be fine with Hisoka carrying you everywhere.

When you two are alone in serious public places, he doesn’t play games or tricks. He is often portrayed as a ruthless man, but in settings like this, he places the jokes and games aside for later. When he enters your room, he is silent for 30 seconds. Much too long. He was shocked; he walked around your hospital bed, pulled up a chair, and stared at your cast. It had many names written on it.

“Yes, I am ok.”

“I apologize for not being there for you,” he began to say.

“Shh… it’s ok. This is life. It hurts like hell, but I’m a trooper!”

Admiring your cast and its multiple fonts of handwriting and messages, he grabbed a sharpie marker, wrote his name, with a heart and spade next to it. Surprisingly, his cursive was very neat and legible.

“I didn’t know you knew how to write in cursive! Why don’t you write me letters?”

“I see you every day and it hurts my hand.”

The doctor wouldn’t be in for another 1 ½ hours, so Hisoka used your thigh as a pillow as he took a nap. He had been up for countless nights thinking about you. He was screwing up so bad, Chrollo let him leave early.

“As soon as your better, we will fight again. I won’t go easy on you. You won’t be in the hospital but you get the jest.”

Illumi

Illumi isn’t the type of man to overreact in these types of situations. When you both agreed to date each other, you knew you all were tough cookies. You were aware of the dangers of dating an assassin and he knew about the dangers of dating a bounty hunter. People hated you both and you targeted.

One night you both were caught in a vulnerable state. While you both enjoyed chocolate milkshakes at a laid-back 1950’s styled diner, two men were previously thrown out for fighting. While your back was turned one of those men shot your arm, causing you to carelessly throw your body to the ground due to impact.

While everyone else was screaming, Illumi jumped to the ground and tied his hair tie around your arm to temporarily stop the bleeding.

“Illu, why does it feel cold in here,” you managed to breathe out.

His heart dropped to his stomach for the first time in history.

“Don’t say things like that!”

Illumi is already horrible at displaying emotions, but all he could do is frown in fear. Once the EMS came barling in, he demanded that he ride with you.

Illumi hadn’t experienced anything like this since Killua had been injured when he fell from a tree.

You and he were separated when you were rushed into surgery leaving him alone in the waiting room.

When Illumi is stressed and cannot properly display how he feels, he tends to act in “odd” ways.

He begins to furiously turn pages in magazines or bother the receptions every 2 minutes about the status of your surgery. When the woman finally says that you’re still alive, he tones it down a little.

Illumi is open to conforming advice from strangers; he has been receiving it secretly from strangers. Since Silva was busy abusing him, he often found comfort from “the streets”.

He has a bad habit of pacing back and forth and fidgeting in his seat while horrific images fill his mind. All he has seen is pain and even though he was used to it, he didn’t want you to go through it as well.

While sitting in his seat (finally!) and head in his lap, doubled over indescribable sorrow, a little girl walks up to him with her hands folded and a doll under her arms. Illumi feels her presence and looks up. The girl’s curly hair covered her endearing eyes and her smile is wide.

“They’ll be alright. I just know they will,” turning around returning to her mother, the girl said with confidence.

On cue, Illumi placed his hand over his heart, smiling just a little.

He walked quickly to your room once you were out of surgery.

His speed walk mimics one of a soldier; his left arm in since with his right leg. His shoes echoed throughout the hall.

As soon as he enters the room, he shuts the door harder than usual and gives you a tight embrace. This surprises you! You’re lucky if he lays his head on your shoulder!

Illumi had been working out lately. He wanted to beat you in the “squish the melon” contest. He is very competitive and even if he lost, that doesn’t hurt his ego. Not in the slightest. Since it was just the both of you alone, he bends down to hug you tight, so tight that your face is squished against his.

This behavior is only surprising because he usually doesn’t coddle you even when you get hurt, but this time he realized that you could have died from the gunshot wound.

After that he kissed your forehead and almost simultaneously the doctor barreled in just missing the sweet moment between you and your beau.

Chrollo

When Chrollo is holding meetings with the Phantom Troupe, he always appears to be neutral. That is very important. A leader has to show strength even through the worst/hurtful times of their lives.

Chrollo had gotten a call from Nobunaga that you had gotten hurt on a mission and had actually gotten captured by the enemy. Phinks was able to get you back but you suffered horrible injuries.

This is protocol; they do this for any of the members. The troupe was oblivious to the fact that you and Chrollo were dating. They thought you were here to replace Uvo.

In situations like this, he is calm on the outside but screaming on the inside. Common sense will tell you if you are startled by the news you’ve just received and you begin to drive, you could cause more harm on the way to your destination.

Chrollo is very silent; he doesn’t call to check on your status or anything; he would rather see it for himself.

You were a trooper! After all, you are dating a dangerous robber.

Chrollo already knew what room you were in so he just went.

“I knew I should have kept y/n by my side. Y/n insisted on doing my dirty work that they almost died! How foolish could I have been?” He constantly cursed himself for letting his guard down with you.

He always gave you room to think and complete your own tasks but he can’t help his protective nature; one he has for the troupe but times 10.

His childhood friends had been shot by law enforcers, his home was horrific, and the last thing he needed was for you to be gone. You were keeping him afloat in society.

When he opened the door, Phinks was sitting in a chair, one leg over the other, laughing at a TikTok video.

Nobunaga on the other hand was watching the world news and seemed invested that he didn’t hear Chrollo enter the room. Once they both saw, they stood to their feet.

“Y/n is ok boss. They suffered a few cuts and burns, but they're breathing.”

Chrollo’s straight face remained as he stared at you.

Chrollo’s silence is something the troupe has internalized as a sign of anger, rage, or both. When he didn’t speak and just stared, everyone knew that their next mission was going to be a brutal one.

Chrollo is a man that isn’t afraid to express how he feels. He could cry right now if he wanted to and no one would dare laugh at him or insult him. After all, Nobunaga cried when he realized Uvo was dead.

Nobunaga and Phinks excused themselves as they saw him place his hand over his mouth.

Once the door closed, He pulled up the chair, grabbed your hand, and gently squeezed it. His warmth woke you up instantly and you turned your head. You winced in pain causing Chrollo to jump from his seat, moving to your right side so you wouldn’t turn your head too much.

“I’m glad you're alive, darling. What were you doing putting yourself in danger? Feitan could have handled the beast!”

He isn’t trying to doubt your ability to fight, he’s just concerned for your safety. Even so, why would he insist that you join the spiders?

A tear dropped from his face as he silently kissed your hand three times. You smiled warmly and placed your right left hand on top of his.

“I am fine, boss. You need not worry. I’m a trooper, remember?”

He placed your hand against his dry cheek and continued to kiss it. You were his lifeline and he wanted to spend every moment with you.

[skullstarz]

bakusquad hangout night!

-> ashido mina, sero hanta, kaminari denki, kirishima eijiro, and bakugo katsuki x gn!reader (separately)

once again, the idea, in my head, is frickin god tier and the execution? whoever told her she was cute was lying to her, she's nothing of the sort 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️ hate this shit

warnings: denki's is kinda gross LOL, sero's has weed/smoking, overall lots of swearing !!

word count: 181 (mina), 186 (sero), 183 (kami), 185 (kiri), 188 (baku).

alternative title: lemme show you a micropenis

check out my masterlist for more of my works !!

with the school week coming to an end, kaminari, sero, kirishima, and ashido decided to have a fun night, dragging you and bakugo with them, whether you wanted to join in or not. everyone got in their pajamas, bringing snacks and various activities with them. when you got there, everyone’s doing something different. who’re you joining?

ashido, trying to paint the boys’ nails

✿ well, at first it was just her nails that she was painting

✿ but she finished quickly and she was all sad

✿ “DAMN that was speedy as fuck iida aint got nothin on me but what tf do i do now”

✿ then she starts painting the boys’ nails

✿ started with kirishima but he was tryna fight an enderman and he got nail polish all over his thumb LOL

✿ when you join in you get denki to pull out cards with one hand so that you guys could paint the other

✿ gave him yellow nails with a black middle finger nail and honestly he’s liking it

✿ you two go around trying to paint the boys’ nails and running away from bakugo, before settling down in the middle of the room

✿ kirishima just got red nails, sero’s were multi colored, and bakugo allowed black nails but ONLY black nails

✿ you decide to add details to her painted nails as she plays with your hair, and you two end up watching the tv together cuddled up in a blanket for the rest of the night.

sero, smoking out of the window on the bed

✿he was getting pretty lonely smoking that blunt by himself QQ

✿ but i mean the weed was delectable, chefs kiss 10/10 soooo he didn't mind

✿ he had the company of his tiktok for you page (and this mans is on DEEPTOK so yk that shit’s trippy as fuck)

✿ when you joined in he was quick to wrap his arm around your shoulders and pull you closer to watch videos together

✿ which meant every time you exhaled the smoke out of the window BEHIND you guys you had to turn your face towards him which made for some very,, unintentionally intimate moments

✿ “stop kissing over there!!” ashido would laugh every now and then, only leading to you being very flustered and sero yelling “we aren’t kissing!!!”

✿ you were indirectly kissing though, you were sharing a blunt

✿ might as well kiss already anyways >3< pucker up serito

✿ no matter what your tolerance to weed is, you ended up smoking wayyyy too much, but you were having a good time nonetheless.

✿ he took care of you the rest of the night, covering you, bringing you snacks and drinks, etc.

kaminari, playing cah by himself

✿ no one wanted to play cards against humanity with him so he just played by himself

✿ anyone else watching the scene would say it was sad he was playing by himself but he was honestly having so much fun

✿ when you walked in he was cackling loudly, and when you joined him you asked what he was laughing about.

✿ he showed you a group of three cards that said “the entire internet: hours of fun. easy to use. perfect for a cat video so cute that your eyes roll back and your spine slides out of your anus!”

✿ what the FUCK is goin on man 🧍‍♀️

✿ you bet that you could beat him if you guys played together and so the battle started

✿ “hey baby, come back to my place and i’ll show you a micropenis” was his best one, but you won the game withhhh

✿ “when i was tripping on acid, a cooler full of organs turned into free samples.”

✿ it was so gross but fun, and you guys laughed the whole time as you continued, and the game lasted the whole night.

kirishima, playing minecraft poorly

✿ when you walked in, mans was tryna beat an enderman with his LIL BLOCK FISTS

✿ you laughed and joined him, and once the enderman killed him you reminded him that he has to make a sword

✿ he hadn't even made a little hut at that point, he was just wandering around

✿ and he thought he could beat the frickin ENDERDRAGON LIKE THAT

✿as if,, his irl quirk,, would translate into minecraft,, um,,

✿ you start playing on separate controllers and you two became cute lil adventurers together !!

✿ the amount of villages you guys raided together before finally settling on a flower biome (!!) is too many to count

✿ you guys even got dogs and named them pebble, rock, and boulder !! cutest in da world

✿ he did lots of hunting and defending your little base cause he thought it was the manliest

✿ you did lots of farming and building, along with, well, pretty much everything else

✿ you guys would go mining together and he’d always share the ores and such that he got

✿ cute lil domestic minecraft playing. you guys stayed up the whole night playing the game

bakugo, grumbling to himself in a corner

✿ he did NOT wanna be there bruh

✿ he was just in the mf corner, moaning and groaning about how this wasn't fun at all and he wanted to go to bed

✿ then you came and sat next to him and started talking

✿ as much as he enjoys your company he still felt like he had to do something or he was gonna fall asleep

✿ you two ended up leaving the group anyways, going over to the kitchen as you guys looked for something to cook or eat

✿ he decided to cook up some late night instant ramen and when he finished you guys sat on the counter and ate it together

✿ you burned your tongue a couple times and he told you to stop acting like the food’s running away from you

✿ fuckin bitch LMAO but he also bit his tongue so he got what he deserved

✿ you guys talked about everything and nothing, at times the conversation actually getting really deep, like what he genuinely wants for the future

✿ in the end, you got to spend a nice night talking with each other over some bomb ramen

[pr1ncessm00n]

for sale or wanted — jean kirstein x fem! reader

series masterlist

prev | next , part two

warnings: cursing, porco being toxic lol. dates are wrong once again sorry !!

[ playlist : love again - dua lipa ]

eight.

Half asleep and ready to go to bed, Y/N fell back into her bed. She picked up her phone, hoping to mindlessly scroll through some TikToks. Instead, she was met with two messages. Audibly gasping as she read Porco’s name, she dropped her phone, hitting herself in the face in the process. “Ow!”

Porco? Y/N thought incredulously. What the hell does he want?

Contemplating asking Ymir and Sasha for advice, Y/N then decided against it. This was her life, she couldn’t expect her friends to guide her though it. But God, was she such a coward when it came to Porco. It wasn’t like he was Prince Charming, but Y/N had an extreme loyalty complex. She couldn’t ever allow herself to let go of people. Porco used to berate her for that constantly.

Why are you so clingy? He would ask.

Who’s the clingy one now? Y/N thought bitterly. She decided to ignore Porco’s text until she could think of a reply that wasn’t along the lines of “No, fuck you.” She slid her thumb over to Jean’s message.

Great. Another text asking to talk. Why couldn’t people just send their question and save a girl the anxiety? Y/N scolded herself for allowing her egotistical ex to ruin her mood. Jean didn’t deserve her snappiness.

Jean sighed in relief. Thank God she replied. He didn’t know if he could handle the mortification if she didn’t.

Y/N pondered for a bit.

Y/N laughed quietly to herself. So Jean could in fact match her sense of humor. She exited out of their chat, mindlessly scrolling through social media. She actively avoided Porco’s message, not wanting to burden herself with the chore of responding to him. What could he possibly have to say? She headed to Twitter, hopefully finding something relatable to retweet. As Y/N scrolled, she saw a familiar face appear on her timeline.

Recommended for you from contacts, the header read. Below it was about 3 profiles of people in her contacts she had not followed yet. Among them, was Jean.

Y/N’s breath caught in her throat.

Should I? She questioned. Would she be overstepping some unspoken boundary? What if she hurt her own feelings by stalking and seeing something she wouldn’t like/had no business seeing? Maybe she should just ignore it. She doubted Jean was some internet creep… but wouldn’t it be good to know if he was? Curiosity getting the better of her, Y/N decided to invade that boundary and look at his account.

He didn’t have much content from what Y/N could see. He just retweeted fancy cars and some funny memes. She spotted Connie, Sasha’s lifelong friend and Jean’s infamous roomie. She mentally hoped Jean didn’t tweet like Connie. That would be the ultimate ick.

Y/N’s thumb stopped scrolling, hovering over a tweet. Her heart beated ten times more rapidly.

well she is pretty lol, Jean’s tweet read. Tweeted just an hour after he met Y/N.

Could it be? Y/N wondered. No way. There’s no way it’s about me. I’m just jumping to conclusions. Why would he say that about me? I’m just being self absorbed.

She brushed off her inquiries, deciding to just stop stalking his account entirely. From what she already saw, there wasn’t anything suspicious or icky enough to make her want to not interact with him. And she was already paranoid, so every tweet she saw she would begin to assume it was about her as well. She was just getting her hopes up.

Rolling over on her side, Y/N placed her phone to charge and went to sleep. It was late, which was probably what was causing her mind to become fuddled.

——

“You should’ve told me Sasha’s third roomie was Y/N,” Reiner had said to Jean in the truck. “I totally blindsided her. Top ten worst encounters of my life.”

“Uh, care to enlighten me? Do you guys have beef or something?” Jean asked, perusing the radio stations.

Reiner sighed. “She’s dating- was dating- my childhood friend, Porco.”

Jean felt his stomach drop. “Oh.”

Reiner glanced at him before stopping at a red light. “I said dating. He dumped her like a week ago. It was pretty trash.”

Jean secretly felt more at peace hearing that. Poor Y/N, but.. she could probably do better than this Porco person.

“So what does that have to do with you?” Jean asked.

Reiner shrugged. “I guess I didn’t really help. She said she felt a little betrayed. Like I agreed with Porco and my friends that she’s the crazy one.”

Jean nodded. “So you were a bystander.”

Reiner sighed again, tilting his head in an I guess motion. “It’s just hard. Porco’s like my brother, and I don’t agree with how he acted… but maybe I should have spoken up sooner.”

Jean patted his shoulder. “Don’t blame yourself, man. That was between them.”

“Yeah. I could have at least told Porco to step it up, though.” Reiner murmured.

I’m glad you didn’t. Jean snickered to himself.

“So, you think she’s cute?” Reiner shot Jean a devilish grin. Jean rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, I guess. You goin’ to Historia’s birthday?” He slyly changed the subject.

“Is it open invite?” Reiner’s eyebrows scrunched up.

Jean shrugged. “I have an invite. Maybe you can be my plus one.”

Reiner made a “Hmm” sound in response, weary at Jean’s invite. “What are you dressing as if you go?”

“I was thinking swag era Justin Bieber.” Jean replied, smiling widely.

Reiner gave him a look. “You for real?”

Jean’s smile dropped. “What?”

Reiner laughed. “I’d pay money to see how badly you embarrass yourself with that.”

“It’s a 2000’s party?” Jean was confused.

“Yeah, but everyone does like, early 2000s. Think Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake.”

Jean shot him a curious look.

“What? Pop culture is my guilty pleasure.” Reiner explained himself. “And everyone knows Britney Spears.”

Jean hummed in response. “I just think you got a thing for pop girls.” He referenced the earlier Becky G mishap.

“I’m not even gonna deny it anymore.” Reiner agreed, defeated.

——

“Guys,” Y/N said the next morning. Ymir and Sasha were at the breakfast “nook” (a corner of their miniature kitchen designated for a small table that barely fit all three of them), Sasha eating cereal and Ymir chomping on an apple while scrolling on her phone. “Porco texted me last night.”

Ymir continued scrolling, unfazed. Sasha’s eyes widened and she swallowed her food before speaking. “What? Why?” Y/N glared at Ymir.

“Thanks for your interest YMIR, but as i was telling Sasha-“

“I’m Sasha.” Sasha cut in, obviously confused.

Y/N gave Sasha a look.

“Did you say something?” Ymir said, bored. She still hadn’t looked up from her phone.

“Ymir!” Sasha scolded. “Y/N’s telling us Porco texted her!”

“Who’s Porco?” Ymir replied, monotonous.

Y/N sighed in exasperation. “Are you stalking Eren again? I already told you to stop comparing your subscribers-“

“I’m not stalking Eren!” Ymir snapped defensively. “I’m…” She mumbled the next part incoherently.

“Huh?” Sasha and Y/N asked in unison.

“I SAID,” Ymir repeated, annoyed. “I’m looking up Britney Spears outfits. Historia wanted us to go as different eras of her. But I can’t find anything that matches my style.” She grumbled.

Y/N’s heart melted. It was adorable watching Ymir struggle to find a matching costume for Historia. It was like Marilyn Manson wanting to get along with a CareBear.

“Just go as JT,” Sasha said, chewing her cereal.

“One, close your mouth, and two, Historia asked for us to go as Brittney. I can’t just show up like a dude.” Ymir visibly deflated as she scrolled through countless pictures of a younger Spear’s iconic looks.

“Why don’t you try her bandanna phase? That wasn’t so over the top, and she wore mostly jeans.” Y/N suggested as she squeezed into the corner chair.

Ymir sighed. “I don’t want to wear a skirt or some bimbo shit. That’s y’alls look.”

“How do you manage to sound endearing trying to please your girlfriend while simultaneously insulting us?” Y/N wondered aloud.

“It’s a talent.” Ymir waved her off. “What did you guys get her though?”

“A giftcard to Urban Outfitters,” Sasha replied. “I got tired of searchin’. I put $50 on it. I think that should be enough for like, a shirt and a half. She better like it, too. ‘Cus I’m broke.” Sasha pointed her spoon at Ymir accusingly.

“I got her the Taylor Swift vinyl she’s been wanting. And some pink film for her camera.” Y/N added. Ymir nodded approvingly.

“I hope she likes my gift. I don’t know if I’m moving too fast though?” For the first time since Y/N mer Ymir, Y/N hadn’t ever seen her this distraught.

“Calm down,” Y/N reassured her. “You’ve been together for years now. I don’t think you can move any slower.”

Ymir rolled her eyes, leaning back im her chair with arms crossed. “It’s a small trip to Seoul. I know she’s been dying to go. It’s not like it’s anything she hasn’t seen before with her family… but I figure it’d be different with just us.” Y/N’s heart melted.

“That’s so sweet!” Sasha exclaimed, eyes watery. “I want an Ymir!”

“Well, you can’t have me!” Ymir laughed. “It’s not a big deal. The sponsorship I managed to land gave me a decent payout.” Ymir sheepishly replied, her cheeks a faint red

Y/N nudged her. “Look at you, being modest.”

Ymir waved her hand. “Shut up. How does this look?” She turned her phone to Y/N, showing a picture of Britney Spears clad in low waist jeans, a black tank top and sure enough, a yellow bandanna.

“That’s perfect.”

Ymir smirked, smug. “Just like me.”

“Y/N!” Sasha shouted. “Go back to the Porco thing!”

“Oh, yeah. What did Oinky want?” The girls turned to face Y/N, who shrank a bit back in her seat.

“That’s a new one,” Y/N chuckled. “I thought of one last night, too,” She paued for dramatic effect. “Porker!” She gasped out, giggling, hitting the table in a slight fit of laughter. Sasha and Ymir gave Y/N a blank stare, unamused at Y/N’s mediocre roast.

“Not funny, didn’t laugh.” Sasha spat.

“If your career was stand up you’d be living in a box.” Ymir deadpanned.

“Tough crowd,” Y/N sighed, wiping imaginary tears from her eyes. “But if you must know…” She purposely stalled a bit, knowing it would send an impatient, jittery Sasha over the edge and annoy Ymir even more, even if she pretended she was not interested in the relationship drama between Y/N and her disgraced ex.

“Just say it already!” Sasha begged.

“I…don’t know. I haven’t responded.” Y/N finally admitted, putting her head in her hands. “I just-“ Her words were muffled by her hands.

Ymir removed her hands from her face. “Your words, darling.” She scolded, voice oozing sarcasm.

“Ugh,” Y/N groaned. “I’m too pussy to respond. He just asked if we could talk. What could he possibly want? What if he wants the couch? It’s just too much.”

Sasha gave her a sympathetic gaze. “Just leave him on read! If he wants to talk so badly he’ll find a way to say what he needs to.”

“For once, I agree.” Ymir added.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Y/N stretched. “But it did keep me up at night wondering what he wanted.”

“Y/N, forget him! Historia’s party is soon, there’s no time to worry about ugly men!” Sasha stood up, rushing to put her bowl in the sink. “I got a lecture in a few, but you need to find your costume! We’re all going as Britney!” She said before disappearing into her room.

“Um, who’s gonna tell her we’re not all dressing as Britney?” Ymir inquired.

Y/N snorted. “Not I. I’m probably going as Suki from Fast and the Furious.”

“Niiceee,” Ymir fist pumped Y/N. “She was my sexual awakening.” Y/N choked on her muffin.

“Ymir, what’d we say about uncalled for horniness?” Y/N reprimanded. Ymir made her way to the coat rack, searching for her car keys in her leather jacket’s pocket.

“If I was gonna be chewed out for liking women I would’ve lived with my parents!” Ymir called out. “I gotta pick up Historia!”

“Will you be back?” Y/N shouted back.

“Get off my dick!” Ymir shut the door. Laughing to herself, Y/N picked up Ymir’s dish to place in the sink. She was, out of the three, the more tidier one. Ymir did the best cleaning, but she was selectively lazy.

“Bye, Y/N!” Sasha shouted before leaving in a rush. One thing Y/N had grown used to was the fairly chaotic mornings. She secretly hoped they would be like this for a long time.

Since Y/N had transferred, Ymir and Sasha had been the best roommates she could ask for. Yes, Ymir was snappy and Sasha was a bit ditzy, but it was the perfect combination and they were respectful. Y/N had transferred from Sina University purely for academic reasons, but she had not expected to fit in so well with the girls or their group of pre establish friends. She worried she would not fit in since they had already been so tight-knit, but found that wasn’t the case at all. They were open, accepting and loyal. Y/N couldn’t be happier where she was, and even though she wouldn’t admit it, she was grateful for how close they had all gotten in their short time together. Who knew randomly assigned rooming would provide her with friendship to last a lifetime?

Which is why every time she thought about Porco she kicked herself. How could she have let some… meathead ruin her freshmen year of college? She should have been having fun, interacting with Ymir and Sasha’s friends more, lived her own life. But no, she chose to become involved with a self absorbed fraternity guy of all people. Now she was semi-heartbroken, extremely humiliated, and about a year’s worth of time and effort short. She had allowed him to take advantage of her so much, that he felt he could contact her still after basically using her. The thought made her want to rip her hair out and scream.

Almost as if through divine intervention, her phone beeped with a notification.

What the actual hell? Y/N thought.

She froze for a second. What does she do? Respond? Ignore? Block?

After a few seconds of mental deliberation, Y/N finally decided. She was fed up with the lack of bravery she showed and decided to just end it once and for all. Typing out a response, she clicked send and decided to go to the mall for the retail therapy she was sure to need after whatever Porco said what he wanted to say. Turning the shower on, she braced herself for his response. What could Porco want? She couldn’t wrap her mind around it.

This better be good, Y/N thought.

taglist : @tsunderehokage @lagrimasdeglitter @snowyseungs @mukeovernetflix @bakugouswh0r3 @punicorn999 @deadlyaffairs @usernamehere91 @calumsfringe

a/n: woohoo!! long chapter. so to recap: i graduated!! i am finally free from the clutches of high school. i might do a face reveal :) bc i loved my grad dress. anywho, my fever cleared up, i have chapter 9 already completed (just need to revise + edit) and this is NOT proof read!! it’s 2 am guys i’m tired. but i hope you enjoyed this :) sorry for the weird cropping too. peace out

[tanzaniiite]

can i request the trend of tiktok “the faster you get to me the more kisses you get!” with tsukishima, akaashi, bokuto and hinata? 🥺👉👈

“THE FASTER YOU GET TO ME, THE MORE KISSES YOU GET” TREND

w/ tsukishima, akaashi, bokuto, hinata & iwaizumi

requests: OPEN

warnings: talk of pee and poop in iwaizumi’s

a/n: of course you can! thanks for the request! 💓 (also the trend is used more as a prompt than it is as the main focus whoops 🤡)

i added iwaizumi bc he was requested in another ask so i just merged the two. my character limit is still four max!

who gave him the right 🥵

the salt lick himself

this dude is annoyingggg

you already knew what his reaction was gonna be,, so why bother?

welll you just wanted to be like all the other tiktok girls 👉🏽👈🏽

you wait until you see tsukki and yama walking out of the club room and towards you

you’re bracing yourself for the embarrassment

“babe! the faster you get to me, the more kisses you get!”

no shit, he stops in his tracks. yama’s just looking at him like ‘what you finna do?’

you know what he does? turns around and starts walking in THE OTHER DIRECTION

you are… baffled

when finally catch up to him, you’re pouting

“dude, what the hell?”

he glances at you, then flicks your forehead dummy hard

you’re triggered, “did you just flick me?”

this snarky mf is now laughing at you

btw yamaguchi is very uncomfortable rn

tsukishima the leans down, bean pole headass, and kisses your forehead

“sorry i don’t do dumb tik tok trends”

“it’s not dumb! you just didn’t want to kiss me”

he looks at you with an unimpressed look, as if saying, ‘we both know that’s not true’

alas you’re still pouting

yama: “haha this is me, see you guys tmmr” *leaves in awkward*

tsukishima knows your not gonna stop acting like a baby until he gives you what you want

he sighs, walks a couple feet away from you, pulls out his phone and starts recording

“say the thing”

“huh?”

“the trend thing. say it”

your eyes light up so much and tsukki smiles a bit

he’s so soft for you uwu

“the faster you get to me, the more kisses you get!”

because he’s a tall boi, it only takes him a few steps to get to you but when he does, he kisses you hard

like damn, okay sir

when he pulls away you’re flustered asf, he chuckles and stops recording

“happy?”

this poor boy wouldn’t know a tiktok trend if it punched him the face

i hate to say it, but he’s a boomer 😔🤘🏽 just like dadchi

he’s at your house picking you up for a date and your sibling is bombarding him with questions

when you come out, akaashi is like ‘oh thank goodness’

you smile at him, then wack your sibling in their side

“stop bothering him you weirdo!”

“what we’re just having a nice lil chat”

you shake your head and start to walk away but your sibling is holding akaashi back, giving him the typical ‘you hurt her, i kill you’ speech

now you know your boyfriend is great when he’s under pressure but.. this is new territory for him

you remember a trend that you saw a while back and decide to do it now

you know keiji wants your family to like him, so he’ll be conflicted between going to you or staying and listening to your siblings speech

it’s perfect really

so you pull out your phone and start recording

“baby! the faster you get to me, the sooner we can go on our date and the more kisses you’ll get”

my guy just blinks, “it is getting late..”. plus he’s not opposed to the kissing part so he starts to walk towards you

“hey! i’m not done talking to you”

‘that’s true, it would be rude of me to walk away mid conversation… if you could even call it that’ he thinks

you laugh slightly, you can practically see the gears spinning in his head

“keiji come on we don’t have all day”

“don’t you walk away from me”

akaashi sighs loudly. the longer he spends talking to your sibling the less time he has with you. if he walks away, he’s at risk of your sibling hating him. he’s stumped.

suddenly he turns to your sibling, “sorry l/n, we can continue this discussion later. y/n and i have a date that’s very time sensitive. i apologize”

he then walks to you and grabs your hand before walking off

“y’know my crackhead sibling was just mess with you right? you could’ve just walked away”

“i figured, but that’s still rude”

ugh we stan boy who has manners

“so.. um, may i get a kiss now?”

omg he’s so cute i love him 🥺

you grin and pepper his face with a bunch of kisses, making him blush slightly

tbh you don’t even need to ask, this dude is infatuated w/ you

he’ll run to you any day of the week

but what had happened was.. y’all were on a date and bokuto went to go get ice cream

but that was like 15 mins ago and you’re just sitting on the park bench looking like a fool

and ngl you were a little worried bc bokuto is so easy to distract you’re thinking he fell into a pond or something

so you go to look for him and tbh it doesn’t take long cause cmon,, it’s bokuto

he be loud asf

n e ways, there he is in all his glory playing with a German Shepard who looked like it was trying so hard not to bite him

the owner looked nervous asf but was probably too nervous to say something social anixety be like that

bokuto spots you and waves at you frantically

“hey babe! look at this dog! it’s so cute!”

ugh bless him

you send the owner an apologetic look and turn back to bokuto

“it is cute but i think you’re aggravating it.. i don’t want you to get bitten. let’s go”

“it won’t bite me!” *to dog* “right? you’re too good to bite me, yes you are, yes you are”

*inhales* this stubborn kid, so now you got to think of a new tactic

you suddenly remember that bokuto is affectionate x1 mil

he would never miss a chance to be smothered in love

this was as good a time as any to do this trend and save your bf in the process :))

you whip out your phone, “hey baby? the faster you get to me, the more kisses you get”

when i tell you his head SWIVELED

the dude is an owl confirmed 🙌🏽

literally almost trips trying to get to you, now he’s looking at you like an excited puppy ready for pats

the owner gives you thankful look and leaves

bokuto is still staring at you, waiting for his smooches

so you deliver 😌 you grab his face and kiss all around and place a final kiss on his lips

bokuto looks so happy, like he’s smiling so wide rn

all hail tiktok it rly be saving your stupid boyfriend

my bby 🥺

he loves you so so so so much

hinata will do anything for you yes anything

and the feeling is mutual, but sometimes you cannot comprehend what goes on in that mind if his

like,, you could not, for the life of you, understand why he ran into MOVING TRAFFIC

let me tell you what happened

so you were shopping with your friends (and just to clarify y’all were a strip where there’s a bunch of stores on each block)

you guys were just casual walking and then your friend pointed out that it sounded like someone was calling your name

you looked around and there was your orange fuzzy bouncing up and down on the other side of the street

“BABY! BABE! Y/N! LOOK!”

too cute i swear

you smiled and waved, “hi baby!”

“wait until i get across this street imma kiss you so hard!”

cue your friends gagging

you giggle and decide to reference a tiktok cause why not?

“the faster you get to me, the more kisses you can get!”

b-but he thought you were serious

so yes he ran into the middle of a busy street

you are traumatized, paralyzed with fear if you will, you thought your boyfriend was going to die right in front of you

when he finally reached you, you scolded him mother hen mode activated

“why the hell would you do that hinata?!”

uh oh, you used his last name.. not good

“but you said–”

“i was joking!”

oh. now he’s embarrassed and sad bc you’re mad at him

at least he thought you were until you grabbed him and hugged him tightly, “don’t ever do any dumb shit like that again, okay? you scared me”

“i won’t,, but since i did risk my life, can i get a kiss?”

“NO.”

i feel like y’all have a relationship where you guys can be mean(?) to each other w/o getting offended

so you guys are at your house watching Netflix together and he suddenly gets up and leaves your room

“where are you going?”

“gotta piss”

istg i hate the word “piss” but IK he says that instead of “pee”

n e ways you resume watching the show but your bf’s been gone for like 10 mins

you go to the bathroom and knock on the door, “hey, you good in there? it doesn’t take 10 minutes to pee”

you hear him groan, “fuck off”

and then,, it all clicks, “are you constipated?!”

“FUCK OFF”

now you’re laughing your ass of bc what the fuck

“don’t clog my toilet nasty”

“y/n i swear to god if you don’t leave me alone–”

“what? are you gonna fling your doo doo on me?”

you finally stop teasing him and go back to your room

you send him a text, ‘still constipated? 💩’

‘breaking up w/ you is looking mighty tempting rn 🥴’

‘rude 🤧 but hey, the faster you poop, the more kisses you get’

this dude left you on read

and didn’t return until 20 mins later

“damn i know my bathroom stinks now”

“shut up and give me my kisses”

you raise an eyebrow, “i– you took 20 mins”

“okay.. did you want me to get up mid shit and come to you?”

you don’t why but that shit had you cackling, you reach up and pull him close to you

you give him a couple of pecks and a deep kiss

aww he’s smiling 🥺

“i love you my lil doo doo machine”

he pushed you off your bed

tanzaniiite © 2020 — all rights reserved. do not repost, modify, or copy. do not plagiarize. thank you.

[sultryvodka]

𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙜𝙚! 𝙖𝙤𝙩 𝙗𝙤𝙮𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙣𝙨 | 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩 1

𝙥𝙪𝙗𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙝 𝙙𝙖𝙩𝙚 - 𝙢𝙖𝙮 4𝙩𝙝

warnings: mild swearing, mildly suggestive (if you squint lol)

| armin - colt - eren - jean - porco |

armin arlert

• i think most, if not all of us, agree that armin looks like the type to get all flustered with PDA & shy away from his emotions --- HOWEVER.

• rather than being all over you, he finds himself most comfortable with holding your hand or having an arm wrapped around your shoulders.

• he wouldn't mind you being clingy though 👀

• would occasionally place a gentle peck on your forehead, cheeks & his personal favorite; the palm of your hands.

• you guys' dates would mostly end up being in a library, café & restaurants with a nice warm atmosphere.

• i bet he would be the kind of guy to take you to the beach whenever you're stressed out in hopes of calming you down.

• gets very defensive when his friends tease you, if a man could bark his friends away, it's armin arlert.

• this lad over here would establish a routine with you (with your consent & opinions ofc)

• mondays to friday mornings are centered on school, you guys do your own thing at school & walk you home while making sure to stop by a convenience store for snacks, assuming that you guys don't live together yet.

• both of you make it a point to check on one another to make sure you guys aren't wearing yourselves out.

• which leads me to the conclusion that your parents grew very fond of him & treats him more like their child

• when you guys are having a sleepover, this whole lowkey facade of his takes a 180 and the second you reach the bedroom he'll shower you with cuddles and kisses.

• you would watch movies (mostly rom-com just bc armin makes it work okay) tucked in a warm futon with popcorn and candies between you two.

• armin strikes me as a very studious guy and he does this to ensure you guys' future together ^-^

• all in all armin cares about you so much and he doesn't mind being vulnerable to you. he is your safe haven, and so are you to him.

colt grice

• okay can we talk about how this perfect man deserves some more attention

• colt, my man, gives me disney's prince florian vibes. the soft-spoken, kind-hearted, & just an absolute dream.

• he's the kind of guy to take you to the park, a greenhouse, & WORKSHOPS!!!

• given the idea that he is in fact a shy little baby, he is actually pretty active with you. every date you guys have is different. mans has a quest planned out for y'all.

• at school i think that you might be the one to initiate skinship. doesn't have to be kisses on the lips, it's more of gently trailing your index on the back of his hand or rubbing a hand on his forearm when he gets a little anxious.

• the type to peek through your classroom's door because bubba's too shy to ask someone to call for you 🤧

• colt, in my opinion, is very domestic in private, now don't get me wrong he may be a little too shy in public because he isn't used to it but i promise you he takes on the nurturing role of the relationship more than you are.

• he helps you with cleaning, folding your clothes, and god if you guys get periods, he's got a whole pouch in his locker just for you.

• he doesn't do it intentionally, he happens to know you so well that he notices the slight change in your moods & cravings.

• colt often reads a book while you guys cuddle during the afternoons once all the work is done, he'd make you tea or whatever you want. he hums a tune, probably from old disney movies that his brother falco used to enjoy as a kid.

• your parents are more invested in your marriage than you and colt combined.

• okay, now if you happen to have a baby or a toddler somewhere around the house, someone keep this man from turning into a putty.

• as much as colt acts prim and proper most of the time, he has his moments where he just wants to be an entire mess. perhaps sleeping past his usual waking time, indulging in more snacks than usual. you know, loosen up? yeah, that is a side of his that only YOU will ever be allowed to see.

• so yes you and colt would be labeled as the: put-together couple who needs a little bit of adventure every now and then.

eren jaeger

• i hope i don't ramble too long because i love him sm

• mr. loverboy over here is a simp for you, more than you are a simp for him! he is not afraid to show you off and shower you with flattery. now he does this because he feels so lucky to have you.

• he can be a little cliché (well maybe not as much as jean --- more on that later), like he'll randomly interrupt your vacant class with a gift box he put together, & a bouquet. yes. (carla helped him pick out flowers from her shop)

• he's the type to crash his lips with yours in the middle of campus when you achieve something or when he does, vice-versa. if he plays in one of your school's teams, there just HAS to be a bet that if he wins he gets a kiss... or more... or something else.

• dates with eren are usually random than planned. like it pops in his head and he'll inform you right away. he respects your vacancy too of course but if you aren't he might pout just a little bit.

• his ideal dates are prop shop dates, going to hotspots, amusement parks, antique shops! & maybe late night drinks at a quiet bar where you can both enjoy the solace of the atmosphere.

• on special occasions, he does plan ahead. usually it's something on the simpler side. candlelit dinners at home or somewhere you guys both enjoy dining.

• if eren's had a bad day, best believe that he will run to you for comfort. only you can help keep his aggressive response to anger at bay.

• if given the chance he would take you around the world, he's that passionate in making sure you live a little

• hear me out... you and eren would probably have the most philosophical conversations, just laying on your backs beneath his room's skylight? heavenly.

• eren can get a little poetic expressing himself & i believe that it's just wonderful. no one can describe their feelings as good as eren.

• his favorite look of yours is when your eyes beam with excitement, it usually happens when you spot something that you used to enjoy as a kid or when you're concentrating on one of your hobbies.

• he's a very touchy person too, his hands are usually on your stomach/waist, his kisses are random & they linger for awhile.

• when you're asleep next to him, it's his habit to solemnly watch you while his own drowsiness starts to take over.

• eren is passionate & sometimes people might take it the wrong way. one of the reasons eren loves you is because of the way you understand how he is. mutual growth for y'all ♡.

jean kirschtein

• jean is not afraid to pull a live performance for you, you see this man is at the top of the world when he's with you. from 80s hits to recent releases this man will blast his playlists catered for you.

• dates with jean are certainly spent on concerts, (him & eren bond over chase atlantic don't argue with me) music festivals, thrifting & late night drives!!!

• personally, i don't see jean as very gimmicky unless you guys are with his friends, he takes you very seriously and you are his top priority.

• at school i think he's definitely one of those flirtatious boyfriends. the kind who would not miss an opportunity to blow you a kiss or throw you a wink. he can be a bit of a dork, who wouldn't be? if he can get one of your rare smiles 🥺

• jean's the type to ask his pals for help when it comes to styling. not because he dresses badly but he's too focused on getting a flush on your cheeks. he's a hopeless romantic.

• if you guys happen to stay at home, he'll definitely serenade you with the amount of songs he had written recently just for you.

• since he bonds with sasha and connie, his jokes are either dad jokes or something that went viral on tiktok. he's the perfect balance of goofy and mature.

• if you aren't much of an active person he wouldn't mind being lazy with you and insist on a diy spa day at home.

• it's just netflix with a tub of ice cream and face masks on.

• since jean is quite the romantic, he would be into couple outfits or items that aren't cringey obv and probably doesn't mind using your perfume or vice-versa.

• jean probably asked you out during one of his gigs, offering you a single rose afterwards.

• he's the type to leave you random post-it notes if he visits your house. just random phrases or doodles. and boy does he pick you up every single day on his smexy motorcycle.

• he'll bring you coffee and breakfast to-go. this man's spoiling you baby.

• aside from that, i feel like jean would make you hand-made gifts with the help of his momma. he thinks it's sentimental when you make your presents because it's one of a kind.

• jean does all these things because he's 100% about you being a constant person in his life. he loves how he can be whoever he wants when he's around you, i'm certain you guys wouldn't have it any other way either.

porco galliard

• porco can be a dick if he wants to not to you though, this tough guy turns into putty just for you. he definitely loves being treated like a baby.

• at first he might come off as cold because he isn't used to the whole romance thing and he gets flustered with the slightest pecks so you might have to initiate at first.

• but once you guys get through the awkward phase this boy would straight up greet you with a passionate kiss and does not give a damn about everybody who witnessed it. he might even have a stupid smirk on his face.

• like eren, i feel like porco would be very passionate and intense. he doesn't say much but he definitely shows you just how much he adores you.

• speaking of friends (: reiner would tease him every second of the day. i bet he would team up with bertholdt to annoy this poor boy. annie and pieck's not much help either.

•whenever you're stressed, porco would run you a bath and give you massages very often. he'll sit on the edge of the tub while he runs his hand through your hair.

•his type of dates would be watching at a cinema or a drive-in, going to the mall just to look around,he's a simple guy.

•if you guys happen to have an argument, porco would distance himself for a few minutes to a few hours just to process the situation and avoid anything his aggression might cause.

•he knew that if he wanted you guys to work he needed to be better.

•he would come back though and hold you in his arms while you guys talk it out.

•i bet he's one of the aot characters who would be an athlete, so most days you'll end up watching him practice.

•overtime, porco would be more open to being intimate in public and post stories of you two just doing things most couples do.

•he's proud that you're his and he's all yours.

•porco is a great guy and he would do anything just to make you smile.

i hope you guys liked these~! let me know who you guys want to be in the second part. requests are open and as always, stay safe! - 🌸☁️

[bisluthq]

It’s really sad how mean Gaylors are being towards Joe. They truly have nothing to gain from all of this. They could use this energy to amplify other queer female (particularly WOC) artists but they don’t. Instead, they are upset that Taylor isn’t the doll that they created in their head. They stereotype gay men by circulating photos of Joe from his college days to insinuate that he’s gay. They repeatedly create lies about him not being William Bowery. The way they are acting reminds me a lot of how closeted kids are bullied in middle school / high school.

And how does behavior embolden Taylor to come out? Honestly — and forgive me if I lose you here — but their actions high key feels biphobic. Like they’re retaliating against Taylor (who is probably bi imo) because she’s with a man.

“And how does behavior embolden Taylor to come out?” -> this is something I actually feel extremely strongly about. I have a lot of new readers so allow me to share a TikTok on this with a lot of thoughts I agree with:

I’m sorry but did ANY OF YOU come out because people yelled “lmfao that’s so gay” at you?

I have shared a story here before about how two of the most embarrassing moments for me in middle and high school - like as I was sorta becoming yk sexual - were related to people IMPLYING (maybe on accident) that I’m gay.

The first was in middle school and tbf I got bullied a bit in middle school so she might’ve meant it in a gay way idk but like I used to make these Photoshopped edits for all my school projects using female celebs I liked (but on theme so like I made one for a Switzerland project with Renee Zellweger and I made other ones too but the Renee one is where this came to a head and it’s the one I remember best). So I had my little gay ass cover and this girl who sorta lowkey bullied me went “why do you always make these covers with the girls on them it’s so weird” and she might’ve meant it’s weird I Photoshop because it was weird but I just heard the “with the girls” part and almost died and never showed my little graphics again irl I think maybe ever actually.

The other incident was for sure on accident, like it was just banter: a guy friend of mine in high school looked at my laptop screensaver, which was Olivia Wilde in that GQ photoshoot yk the gymnastics one lol and he went “lol noice picture you got there lmfao” and it was an era where gay jokes were funny and that’s defs where he was going with it but because I’m actually gay I DIED and I went “yes I like House” and he was like “???” because that wasn’t the right response and I was like “yeah I like House dude why the fuck else would I have this picture lmfao” and a few days later I changed it to a pic of Hugh Laurie and had that for months before changing it to Amy and Eleven which I felt comfortable with and in hindsight both of whom I wanted to fuck although at the time I just figured it was neutral territory.

Now that’s me sharing my closeted experiences. I’m sure many of you have yours. I’ve NEVER heard of someone saying “ya people called me gay so I went well shucks you got me and came out! Thanks everyone who called me gay!!!”

If you think Taylor Swift is CLOSETED then why in the fuck are you trying to out her?

If you - like me tbh on some days idk I’m just not invested at this point - think she might be bi and signaled that (as other artists have done before formal coming outs) then like dope, she’s one of us, let’s make gay jokes and move on. She actively doesn’t mind Gaylor which suggests to me it’s either this or she’s a weird straight lady. Idk. Fuck, maybe she doesn’t know.

Either way, legit Hetlors and Gaylors - people whose online identity revolves around truthering her sexuality either way - are all equally out of line.

She’s got her London Boy, maybe she likes boobies, she doesn’t mind if you think she does, the end.

And if you genuinely think she’s a secret lesbian like BRUH STOP SAYING THAT OUT LOUD THEN like let it go dude. Because she sure as shit has NEVER implied this!? And calling closeted gays gay on main does not ever help them??? Ever??????

[atinydise]

Ateez reacting to Yunho being a grown man

❦ Genre: Fluff, suggestive.

❦ Pairing: OT8.

❦ Word count: 2k6.

❦ Requested: Yes, thank you! 🦋

HONGJOONG

The leader lazily and sleepily got out of his bed. He realized how early it was when he saw Yunho, still sleeping peacefully/ Hongjoong hesitated to jump back in his warm bed or to stay awake. He opted for the 2nd option and quietly left the door. At his big surprise, Mingi and Wooyoung were in the kitchen, cooking. "Pasta? For breakfast?" Asked Hongjoong, questioning their life choice. "Breakfast?" Repeated Wooyoung. "It's 1PM Hyung." The leader glanced at the clock on the microwave. "Yunho is till sleeping, I thought it was 8 AM." The 2 boys snored at the same time. Hongjoong raised a brow. "What's so funny? It happens to sleep until late." Mingi and Wooyoung exchanged a quick stare. "Tell me." Insisted Hongjoong.

"I think we should tell him." Said Mingi. Wooyoung sighed, but finally nodded. "Okay close the door really quick." The leader was completely lost. Why were they acting so weirdly? "Okay, keep the secret because Yunho ignores that we know." Started Mingi. "Know what?" "We saw him and Y/N making out yesterday." Claimed Wooyoung. Hongjoong raised a brow. "Yunho and Y/N? Come on... what you saw was wrong." "No! She was almost naked and kind of riding him." The leader almost threw up at this image. "Y'all so nasty." "Nasty about what?" Asked Yunho, entering the kitchen. "Ah Yunho!" Snapped Hongjoong. "These 2 idiots are trying to prank me." "Hyung..." whispered Mingi. "They said that they saw you making out with Y/N yesterday." He sneered. "But I told them that you were not into "this". He air-quoted. "Oh." Replied Yunho. "But they are right Hyung." He faced Mingi and Wooyoung. "Sorry that you saw that boys." They both shrugged, not turning this into a big deal. While Hongjoong was wondering if all of this was a prank. Yunho is so shy and pure, he would never do this yet. "S-So, you are-" he paused. "Sexually active? Heck yeah! Have you seen Y/N?" He smirked. The leader gagged once again. "Come on, don't act like it's a big deal." "It is!" "It's not." Replied Yunho, picking an apple before leaving the kitchen. Mingi and Wooyoung smirked at Hongjoong. "So, you believe us now?" "Our baby is a grown man." He whispered. "Of course... he turned it as a big deal." Sighed Wooyoung.

SEONGHWA

Yunho are you ready?" Asked Seonghwa, looking for his tall friend. "I'm born ready." He replied joyfully. They both decided to hang out together since the other members had their own schedule. At first, they went to the arcade game because it's Yunho favorite place and Seonghwa really wanted to make him full and relaxed. As a second destination, Seonghwa picked a good restaurant. They really chose everything they wanted on the menu. The table was full of food, few people were even looking at them like if they were crazy. "Soju?" Offered the eldest member. "Yeah! But not too much today okay?" "Sure."

1 hour later, these 2 boys were laughing crazily at everything. Their noses and cheeks were completely red because of the amount of alcohol in their body. "Do you remember when Mingi said that he could be the leader when Hongjoong pranked us?" Puffed Seonghwa. "We were all crying but he just wanted to replace him." Laughed Yunho. "Like if he could lead us. He would quit in 2 days." Giggled Seonghwa. "Y/N would last longer than him." Added Yunho. "Ooooh Y/N! I miss Y/N! Where is she?" Seonghwa tugged on the wall next to him. "In her house. She's tired." Smirked Yunho. "I thought she was in vacation or a week off." "Yeah, she is," he hiccupped." I didn't mean tired in the way." Even in his state, Seonghwa understood that his friend didn't get it. "We had seeeex," giggled the tallest boy. Seonghwa almost spitted the soju he had in his mouth. "You what?!" "Oops." Laughed Yunho. "How?!" "How?" He raised a brow. "Well, I thought you knew, but I put her legs on my shoulders and I-" "No!" Stopped Seonghwa, disgusted. "Don't say anything." "But you know it better than me." He winked. "Jeong Yunho." "Park Seonghwa." He giggled. "You better use a protection." "Of course. I bought one with your credit card by the way." "I don't know if it's because I'm drunk or this situation, but I'll throw up." "I would say too much alcohol." "No, too much information, perv." He gagged. "Wait! I'm gonna tell me you mooore!" "Time to go back home!" Shouted Seonghwa, standing up but instantly tugging on the side. "Waitress! PLEASE! Save me!" He yelled in the restaurant, Yunho laughing behind him.

YEOSANG

"Yunho have you seen my phone?" Asked Yeosang. "No. Have you looked under your pillow?" "Yeah. Can I borrow yours 2 sec? Just to text Wooyoung." "Sure." He handed his phone to Yeosang. "You are still going to the theater?" "Yep. Do you want to come with us?" Yeosang searched Wooyoung's contact. He spotted that except you, Yunho wasn't texting his friends that much. "Depends which movie you are going to watch." Replied Yunho. "I think you watched it already. It's Tenet." "Oh! I'm down. I really like this movie." Accepted Yunho." "Cool. Then get ready because-" *ting* ["Okay there's nothing to worry about anymore."] Yeosang unconsciously read your message even though he tried to avoid it. "Text Wooyoung, I'll look for my wallet." Yeosang nodded and finally warned his closest friend to join them in 10 minutes. *ting* ["I just had my period. I'm not pregnant."] Yeosang's eyes widened. Just by this concrete text, he understood a lot of things. He got it that Yunho started to be a grown man. But not that much. "I'm ready." Said Yunho smiling widely. Yeosang handed him back his phone, acting like he never knew these messages. "I'll take a jacket." He almost ran to his bedroom. The tallest guy shrugged and unlocked his phone. He instantly saw the notifications with your name on it. He took 5 seconds to process the situation. "Shit!" He rushed to Yeosang's room and asked: "Have you seen anything particular on my phone?" His friend shook his head, lying. "Not at all." Yunho sighed, relieved. "Okay." "Is there something to know?" "No." "Sure?" "Yeah, there's nothing." "Okay cool." "I thought you were freaking out because I know that Y/N isn't pregnant." "You lied!" "You had sex! And not even fully protected!" "It just cracked. It's an accident." "Disgusting disgusting." Yeosang covered his ears, leaving the room. "Don't tell anyone!" Almost begged Yunho, following him. "What's going on?" Asked Jongho. "They're just crazy." Shrugged Mingi.

SAN

San sighed for the 3rd time in a minute. He accepted to help Seonghwa a bit. As every day off, he took some time to clean the entire dorm. "Less sighing, more cleaning." Sang Seonghwa, putting down a pair of new sheets on San's bed. "Hyung!" Whined San. "How can you like something like cleaning? It's so boring!" "Hm... how can you like throwing your food on Woooyoung's face and not cleaning the tomato sauce which splashed on the wall?" Asked Seonghwa. San stayed quiet for a second and finally gave up and turned back to his desk. "That's what I thought..." smirked the eldest member. "Dictator..." whispered San. "Don't forget to tidy Yunho's sheet in the wardrobe too." "Yeah sir." Just when Seonghwa left, San jumped on his bed, tired of these efforts. He stared at the ceiling a minute and finally glanced at the messy wardrobe. "Argh... I'm so lazy." He sighed. "Oh. What is this?" San spotted a clothe like a maid dress, hung up in Yunho's side. He got out of the bed and walked slowly toward the dress. When he was finally sure that he was right, he picked the hanger. "The heck are you doing with this Jeong Yunho?" Before he could realize, his friend entered the room. "Seonghwa said- no wait. Threatened me, to help you." Yunho stopped in his track when he saw that your dress was in San's hands. His face was bending, reading your name on the collar of the dress. "San, it's not what you think it is." He claimed, freaking out. "I wasn't aware you were into cosplay..." he smirked, trying his best to not laugh. "I don't judge." "It- It was her idea!" Yunho ripped the dress out of San's grip. "Soo... you are... doing "the thing" now?" He crossed his arms on his chest. "It's- personal." Blushed Yunho, hiding the dress in his sport bag. "Oh, come on!" For sure you have secrets, gossips and juicy things to tell me!" "No!" "Yunho, you are a real man now. And a nasty one." he added. "No need to be shy." "San!" The tallest boy rolled his eyes. "Okay okay! I stop." Giggled San. "But don't forget to be gently with Y/N." "I am." He replied. "I will treat her gently and never ask her to do something she doesn't want to." "Good." Nodded San. Both of them started to clean their part of the room, quietly. When San added. "Don't be too nice then. Maybe she likes it rough." "I'll kill you!" Growled Yunho, running after San.

MINGI

Mingi was laying on Yunho's bed. It's been 2 hours since they exchanged a word. Yunho has been looking website on his computer, while Mingi was lost on TikTok. The atmosphere wasn't awkward at all. Until Yunho asked: "Song Mingi." "Hm?" "I know that you had many girlfriends, so I think you could help me." Mingi gulped. He lied about the numbers of girls he dated. He said something like "10", but in reality, it was like 1. He’s too shy for that. "Yeah? What do you want to know?" He sat on the bed. "How you knew that you are "doing well"? He asked, blushing a bit. "Doing what?" Repeated Mingi, naively. "You know..." Mingi raised a brow, not having a blue about what he wanted to talk about. "With Y/N, we took the next step. And I don't really know if I'm-" "The next step?" "Yeah. Sex." Yunho raised a brow. "You know what it is? Because I thought you did it a tone of time. Right?" Mingi was shocked and scared. Yunho had been his friend, probably the closest one, since a long time and to know that he was now sexually active was surprising. "Mingi?" "Huh? Y-Yeah?" He sneered. "A ton of times!" "So how do you know they liked it?" "Huh. I-I-Well-Haha." He stuttered, laughing nervously. "You know! The moans and stuff." "Moans?" "Yeah. The more she's loud, more she likes it." He said coolly. "Really? I don't think that's a good value. She can fake it." "Why would she do that? That's mean." "To be nice with me probably. To not ruin the mood." Mingi blushed. "Women does that?" "Some of them, I guess. For our ego." Yunho shrugged. "Wow. Well." He paused, trying to keep his composure. "Just talk to her. Conversations are the key. Yunho nodded, satisfied with his answer. "You are probably right." "Of course! You are talking with a pro!" "Why we never met one of them by the way?" "Oh! Seonghwa is calling me! We are going to talk about that later okay?" Mingi ran away. "I'm coming Hyung!" "N-Nobody called you." Whispered Yunho confused.

WOOYOUNG

Wooyoung was laying on the living-room's couch. One leg on the headrest, the other one falling on the floor. "The answer is Spring Day!" He yelled throwing a chip on the TV screen. "How can you ignore this when you claim about being an army." He rolled his eyes. Wooyoung almost had a heart attack when the bell rang loudly in the dorm. He growled lazily, and finally walked to the door. "Mingi you forgot your key all-" "Hello." You bowed politely and shyly. Wooyoung had the instant reflex to hide behind the door, ready to slam it at your face. "Oh no! I'm not a fan!" You tried to reassure him. "I'm Y/N." "Y/N?" He repeated. "Like Yunho's Y/N?" You nodded, shy to be categorized as Yunho's girlfriend. "Yunho is not here." He's filming his k-drama." "Yeah, but he told me you would be there." You smiled. "I just need to pick something I've left here." "Oh. You already came here?" Asked Wooyoung. You ignored his question, too shy to answer it and pointed at the hoodie hanging on Yunho's doorknob. "Here it is!" You removed your shoes quickly and walked past Wooyoung. He was looking at every of your moves, trying to know how you left suck a big piece of clothes here. "Now that I have it. I should go." You waved at Wooyoung who was still confused. "Huh- bye." He replied. When you closed the door, Wooyoung's brain tilted. At the terrible image of Yunho doing profanities at the dorm, maybe right where he was sitting few minutes ago, he almost threw up. "Disgusting Jeong Yunho."

The same night, Wooyoung was waiting patiently his friend's return. "We are home!" Yelled San, followed by Seonghwa, Yunho and Jongho. Wooyoung almost tripped on his run to the hallway. "Yunho Hyung... Y/N came here to take back the thing she left here." "Y/N?" Repeated Seonghwa. "She came here?" Asked Jongho. "Y-Yeah one time. It was raining this day." Replied Yunho, blushing a bit. "So, it was cold too?" Insisted Wooyoung. "Yeah." "So how did she leave without her hoodie?" He smirked. Yunho took a second to realize that Wooyoung knew. "Let's talk in my room." He gripped his friend's arm before heading to his room. "You a little nasty boy." Shouted Wooyoung, sure that everyone would hear it. When the door slammed, the 3 other boys were looking at each other. "The hell is going on in this house now." Sighed Seonghwa.

JONGHO

"You can't beat me Hyung." Laughed Jongho. "I just need more training." Replied Yunho, trying to launch the basketball right in. "How can you not put at least one, with your height?" "You are talking way too much for someone who faked to have a cramp when I had a point." Smirked Yunho. "This is a strict basketball rule." Shrugged Jongho. "It's not." Jongho took the advantage of Yunho's distraction to rip the ball out of his large hands. This action was followed by an intense match. Jongho was still the best, but his friend's score was close enough. Only one point was missing to give Jongho the victory. Unexpectedly, Yunho tried to dunk, thinking that he already won, but the ball bounced out. "How can you miss this with your height?" They both looked at you. "That's exactly what I said." Added Jongho. Your boyfriend ran to you, greeting you with a kiss on the cheek. "Hi babe." "Hi." You replied, smiling widely at you. "Do you want to play with us Y/N?" Offered the maknae. "If you are not scared to lose." You threatened him. "Never." "Okay go then." You removed your hoodie which could be annoying to play with. When you made sure everything was okay, you nodded at the boys but both of them were like a bit petrified. At their face, you realized which mistakes you made. "Shit!" "Yu-Yunho did this to you?!" Asked Jongho, pointing at your neck and collarbone. "Jongho shh!" You put your hand on his mouth. "Keep it as a secret." Begged your boyfriend. Jongho removed your hand." Keep the secret about you making Y/N look like a pepperoni pizza?!" "He's right about that though. You made a bunch of hickeys." Yunho rolled his eyes and handed you back your hoodie. "Put it back before someone else see it." "So. Wait. Pause." Realized Jongho. "So now you are into sex?" "Jeez that's awkward." You whispered. "We are not going to talk about it right now and here." Refused Yunho. "We are going to talk about it right now." Replied the maknae, arms crossed over his chest. "Gosh, Hongjoong is that you." You giggled. "Oh yeah, good idea. We should tell our beloved leader." "Nice one Y/N..." Sighed your boyfriend. "It was supposed to be a joke!" You freaked out.

[americachavez]

did cas really tell dean to kneel before their new god? did that actually happen? i thought him beating the shit out of dean in that alley was the most unrestrainedly horny thing this show had ever done ACTUALLY you know what scratch that new question: top horny moments from the cw's supernatural (2005 - 2020)

getting this ask feels like my sins of the last week have been weighed against the Trials I Have Gone Through since the premier of supernatural on the wb in september of 2005 and I’m not sure if it is a punishment or reward

some notes before we begin:

the ep with dean’s male siren was like, conceptually horny but not actually that horny because the dude was uglie. I’m sorry to this man

all you sam girls out there. I respect you but I do not respect jared padalecki who is JUST tall and has zero sex appeal. but those eps where he’s like, drinking ruby’s blood and then eating her pussy are. you know. I’ll give you that

I am ONLY UP TO SEASON 10 so fair warning this is not comprehensive but the horniness does seem to drop off sharply after the mark of cain is no longer in play lol gotta love a good demon murder tattoo plot

this is easily the most insane thing I’ve ever done, including the destiel manifesto

S1 EP12: the scene where dean gets healed by the faith healer, on his knees with a hand in his hair and looking somewhere between religious ecstasy, brain death and an orgasm. starting this list off great

S1 EP22: azazel possessing john winchester. no I will not explain further if u know u know <3

S3 EP10: dean being taunted by a dream version of himself, this is where we first got the daddy’s blunt little instrument line. still burned in my hippocampus a good 13 years later thank yew

S4 EP1: dean crawling out of his own grave covered in grave dirt. hot. the HANDPRINT. HOT. also tangent but this reveal after the s3 finale was WILD back in 2008 I hollered in my dorm room after canvassing for obama. simpler times man

S4 EP 1: cas’ intro scene. the barn. the shadow wings. the hair??? getting stabbed in the chest by the man you just pulled out of hell. getting aaaallll up in that personal space. his little eyebrow. “you don’t think you deserve to be saved.” OUTRAGEOUSLY FLAMING

S4 EP02: “I dragged you out of hell I can throw you back in.” <<< this angel tops. mark dean down as scared and horny etc

S4 EP16: this ENTIRE EPISODE but specifically the part where dean tortures alastair as some kind of foreplay and then alastair kicks his ass. carved you into a new animal. jesus.

S4 EP16: wait I forgot about the part where cas also gets his ass kicked and looks all....hm. dazed and covered in blood while he’s on his knees and about to die. yeah.

S5 EP4: I mean this entire ep is unfairly horny considering everyone is dying of a zombie plague and hasn’t showered in like, 4 years but if I had to pick one hmmm. the dean/dean interrogation scene with the panty kink yeah I know it’s not original but hm. it happened. also misha collins just being able to convey that CAS IS A FLEXIBLE SLUT with a single roll of his shoulders. who SAYS this man can’t act!!!!!

S5 EP18: the ALLEY SCENE. DEAN DOESN’T FIGHT BACK. CAS HOLDS HIM UP OFF THE GROUND AND THEN THROWS HIM ACROSS THE ALLEY. WHY DID EVERYONE THINK CAS COULDN’T TOP. you all had brainworms.

S5 EP18: when cas locks dean in the panic room to stop him from saying yes to michael and “well cas not for nothing but the last person who looked at me like that I got laid” I hate this show. wait I think the blow me cas line is in this episode too what the fuck were they on here

S6 EP5: the scene where dean gets turned into a vampire. between the old dude who I think calls dean a pretty boy (??) and soulless sam....watching??? no ******* but there were just some absolutely foul energies in that scene and I still do not understand WHAT they were thinking

S6 EP20: cas doing a double smite on two demons by slamming them to the ground and then shoving another demon back in its vessel and then smiting him in the same motion. TOP. ENERGY.

S6 EP22: season 6 is possibly cas’ horniest season because he’s like, going through angel puberty after getting his first boner for dean, but the final cas eps are. whoof. cas eats a bunch of souls and proclaims himself to be a new god in order to handle said boner, and then the season ends with cas telling them to bow down and profess their love to him, their new lord, or he will destroy them. note: the way this is framed makes it look like cas is only staring at dean while he says this, even though sam and bobby are also there. the season ends with dramatic zooms on both cas and dean’s faces respectively. this made me actively regret ditching this show after s5 lol

S8 EP??: literally EVERY SINGLE PURGATORY FLASHBACK. cas dean and benny are all purgatory hot in the “pop 10 cranberry pills and risk the UTI” kind of way but also. dean being the hot girl bottom between two tops who hate each other. I really. whew. I need to go take a shower.

S8 EP17: if I get canceled for including the crypt scene on this list I blame you bud. but dean on his knees begging a brainwashed cas to stop killing him WAS sexy. how many times has dean been on his knees in this list wait there’s another one coming up next jsldjfsldkjf

S9 EP2: abaddon getting dean on his knees (YEAH) and pulling his hair and praising him for always coming when called HELLO???? the only thing that ruins this is dean says “I can’t tell if we’re gonna fight or make out” because this is the CW and they won’t let him say fuck

S9 EP6: ah. this entire episode is Emotionally Horny but the horny horny part is when they’re in the car and dean is telling cas to unbutton his shirt and. watches. I know this was on my destiel manifesto but I need it here too

S9 EP9: cas, covered in blood, slitting another angel’s throat and eating his grace after getting tortured. that shot alone made me understand why this website was so goddamn horny for misha collins for nearly a damn decade

S9 EP11: MARK OF CAIN BABEY. cain watching dean beat up a bunch of demons as an audition for taking on the mark, while crowley also is a fucking voyeur to the whole thing. cain is also a hot silver fox with daddy energies. I said what I said

S9 EP 16: dean getting the first blade. he’s chained to a pillar and being menaced by a foppish dandy who wants to add him to his “collection” (WOW). dean then kills him with the blade and whew. murder is sexy sometimes

S9 EP21: dean being pinned against a wall by abaddon’s power, then using the mark of cain to break her hold, calling the first blade to him psychically and then killing her. god the mark of cain is hot

S9 EP23: dean waking up with the demon eyes NUT

S10 EP2: demon dean beating up that dude with the boring backstory and kicking his ass. really was a go on baby I got your flower moment because I hated that dude and I love demon dean

S10 EP3: demon dean being chained up and taunting sam about how his brother is gone, then hunting sam through the bunker. demon dean in general was VERY fun for me, someone who loves trash

S10 EP9: dean going berserk and killing a bunch of pedophile rapists/child abusers. I’m sorry I know this show is trying to preach morality at me about monsters and unnecessary murder and humanity or whatever but we blew past that like 8 SEASONS AGO. also the mark of cain is sexy

S10 EP14: the rest of this list is really gonna be mark of cain stuff isn’t it look I’m here to have fun. cain and dean’s fight. cain continuously tossing his mane of hair back and taunting dean with the picture of what he’s going to become, who he’s going to kill. dean begging cain to tell him that he can stop, and then ultimately killing him. rip daddy.

S11 EP4: again I have not watched this however. every shot of this episode is PRESTIGE TELEVISION because driving a muscle car is sexy. and especially the shot of dean all beat to hell and begging his car to start and giving her a little kiss from his fingers to her dash. ugh. masculinity.

S12 EP10: the bearded salt-and-pepper daddy look returns, only it’s an angel this time and he’s wearing a vest and shirtsleeves and he swordfights with a hot redheaded lady in a suit and an eyepatch. this show is good sometimes!!! and oh fuck lol I just realized this is the same guy who played krissy’s hot hunter dad in s7 probably the first guy who’s hotter as an angel than a hunter. huh.

S12 EP 11: dean riding larry the mechanical bull to “broomstick cowboy.” I have no idea where this factors into the ep but I have seen. the youtube clip

S13 EP23: from what I can tell s13 is way more emotionally horny than boner horny, although dean burning cas’ body was sexy. but the horniest part was dean saying yes to michael and then michael taking over and saying “thanks for the suit.” we are going to ignore the silliest fight scene in existence as well as the final shot ending on a FREEZE FRAME like a goddamn tiktok

S14: not gonna pick a specific moment because I have not watched yet!!! but michael dean is hot. idk why michael is weirdly hot and I cannot stand any iteration of lucifer on this television programme. it should be the reverse but I’m forever an older sibling stan apparently. someone who is catholic could probably explain this better.

S15 EP13: genevieve padalecki and danneel ackles fight flirting as ruby and anael I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY HELD OUT ON THIS TILL THE LAST SEASON

I know I am missing things but this is already an absolutely incomprehensible screed. I know I’m missing shit from the latter seasons but give me time I’m pacing myself