#gwaine and lancelot cage fight

[glass-frogs-and-dragons]

I'm a fool to hope

Gwaincelot week day 5- stare, jacket

Warnings: alcohol consumption

Lancelot was staring. Gwaine was laughing and drinking and joking around and Lancelot was staring. At first he didn’t really know what the hell he was doing, going to the tavern with the others, but they had managed to trade his guard duty with another knight and had dragged him there. Nursing his drink (because someone had to be alert and sober just in case), he spent his evening looking around. And, of course, his eyes returned to Gwaine.

Gwaine, with his long hair and his playful hazel eyes and the freckles dusting his cheeks and the mischief in his smiles. From the day they had met during the attack of the Immortal Army, he had been on edge around the other man. He had been usnure as to why for a long time, but recently he had realized that-

“You cold, Lancey- Lance?”

Gwaine was now in front of him grinning cheekily, drunkenly, but with a glint of concern twinkling in his eyes. Perhaps it was that which drew him in. It was too late when Lancelot noticed that he was shivering.

“Don’t call me that.”

“I guess it’s kinda drafty,” Gwaine continued, ignoring Lancelot. “I mean, you haven’t asked for another pint since you got the first one. Can’t be too warm, then. Can you?”

“I suppose,”

And, before he knew what Gwaine was doing, a warm jacket was draped around his shoulders. Instinctively, he adjusted it so it wouldn’t fall off, then raised his glass at Gwaine as a sign of thanks. The grateful smile he received in response kept him staring, even when Gwaine wasn’t staring back anymore.

~ooo~

Gwaine was staring. Lancelot was carefully avoiding his eyes every time he caught the other man looking at him while nursing his drink and with his jacket wrapped around him and Gwaine was staring. He knew that Lancelot had been more than reticent about going to the tavern with them and yes, perhaps he did feel a little guilty about convincing the others to bring Lancelot along, but he wanted to talk to him in private. And, for the time being, he was not achieving this.

Gwaine had not always liked Lancelot. At first, he seemed like a goody-two-shoes, a priss, a perfect little soldier who follows orders without thinking, the paragon of nobility. He frustrated Gwaine. The man was not of noble blood but had wished to be one of them so badly despite multiple rejections that it had only increased his holier-than-thou attitude; and that infuriated Gwaine to unimaginable lengths.

Then he learnt what Lancelot had done to achieve his status as a knight. He learnt of the cheating, of the tricking, of the cage-fighting and the blood, and all with that passive-agressive (but never impolite) smile on his face. His respect for him grew tenfold there and then. Had he known how chaotic the curly-haired knight was from the start and how damn well he hid it, he would have fallen for him much, much sooner.

So Gwaine was staring.

He still wasn’t quite sure why he had given Lancelot his jacket, but he had seen the other man shiver the one time their eyes met and his lack of filter had taken over. He supposed that the shivers being from the cold were much better than the alternative; Gwaine’s heart wouldn’t be able to take it.

He wasn’t ashamed to admit that the main reason he was drinking was to gain the courage to speak to him properly. He hadn’t counted on Lancelot’s eyes following him all night. An all-too familiar feeling bubbled in his gut, threatening to spill over alongside his laughter, but he did his best to force it out: no use hoping if he wasn’t prepared for disappointment. 

“Hey Lance!” He called, and it was clear to him there and then that his brain to mouth filter had turned in for the night. “According to our dear friends here, I’ve had enough to drink. Join me outside?”

Some people whistled, many with mischief in their smiles, but Gwaine paid no mind to them. Hoping Lancelot wouldn't mind too much (he couldn't tell with the blush coating his face), he winked before walking outside. The cold air of the night immediately sobered him and the bubbling pit of hope that had taken hold of him inside the tavern had frozen into a solid block of dread.

"Gwaine," Lancelot called.

"I hope I wasn't too forward, Lance," He tried with a smile, but it never reached his eyes. "You did look quite uncomfortable overall, and I hope…"

"No."

Gwaine frowned and tilted his head.

"I think… you're going to…" Lancelot opened and closed his mouth a few times, unsure and remorseful, but carried on anyway as gallantly as he could. "You like me, do you not? And you're going to tell me now,"

Gwaine chuckled but looked away. Staring, as much as he might want to, was not Gwaine's best bet. As stupid and pointless as it may be, he still held out hope. Was that a fool's hope?

"Am I that transparent?" He tried to smile.

He was baring his feelings: for the first time they were not merely being reflected in his eyes, in his stare: they were falling from lips alongside his heart.

"No. I just… I saw it in your eyes."

"And what do you say, then?"

Lancelot was silent and, for the first time, when Gwaine looked at him he wasn't looking back.

"Come on, I'm baring my heart out for you here. This isn't-"

Lancelot fought to keep his voice steady and his eyes dry. He counted his breaths in and out, in and out. And finally…

"No, Gwaine. My answer is no."

Gwaine's eyes widened and his hopeful grin broke into a blank, fake one.

"Oh. I-" He swallowed. "I hope… Well, I mean, we can still-"

But Lancelot didn't seem to have heard. He was struggling with words, trying his best to let his thoughts leave his mind like Gwaine had done.

"I didn't mean- I meant, not now. Not while you're like this."

"What?"

"Look, Gwaine. It's not that I doubt you, but… I've had bad experiences with this already,"

Gwaine didn't understand what Lancelot was trying to tell him, but then the other man's arms were around him and he was pulling him into a hug, taking this chance to whisper into his hair:

"Go to bed, Gwaine, sleep it off. Tell me tomorrow when you're sober, yes?" 

And the cracks in his voice, the whispers, the closeness, the intimacy, it all made Gwaine understand. He didn't need to look into his eyes to see it. So he melted into Lancelot's arms and Lancelot welcomed him there.

"If I do, will the answer change?"

"Perhaps,"

"Then I will. I'll ask you tomorrow."

Despite not being able to see it, Gwaine could feel Lancelot's smile against his skin, and he closed his eyes.

[adhd-merlin]

okay unfortunately i am back in your askbox bc you asked whether anyone ships morgana with someone other than gwen. the answer is yes! multiple people, e.g. merlin. however, i specifically want to pitch: morgana and lancelot...

OKAY PLEASE DO NOT JUDGE ME. i have always side-eyed people who ship something based solely on its so-called 'potential' when they never actually interact. there's nothing wrong with it, but it's always baffled me. however. i need you to listen very closely and with an open mind. the witch whose bitterness and spite turned her into a power-hungry murderer, and the bravest and most noble of them all, who wishes only to serve. a woman whose heart was corrupted and a man whose heart is unfailingly pure. an aspirant queen and a perfect servant. he could save her. tbh. he could fix her. ok i'm kidding but DO YOU SEE WHERE I'M COMING FROM??? not to mention lancelot's cage fighting days when he got desperate. as honourable as he is, he knows what it is to be reduced by circumstance to something you hardly recognise. he knows what it is to become depressed, to see life through a dark tint. they can RELATE TO EACH OTHER. the most unlikely people from entirely different backgrounds can RELATE. they know the same people, as well, and lancelot's idea of them hasn't become embittered like morgana's has. they can talk to each other about these people.

we got ONE (1) scene in canon where they actually interacted, and it wasn't even actually lancelot, and yet it's SUCH A SERVE. lancelot serving under morgana is a CONCEPT. the things she says to him... she's literally so power-hungry and bitter by the time she summons him in 4x09 and yet she says, and i quote, "I thought it would please me, molding his mind. Instead, I feel curiously sad. He was once so mighty, and now he's nothing but a shade. I should be sorry to see him go." i know she was at least partially mocking him when she said, "For you are Lancelot, the noble, the brave, the honourable. You're everything the Knight's Code stands for," but. like. even fucking MORGANA, at this stage in the game, feels sad using lancelot as a tool. c'mon.

basically i'm just bitter over how the morgana arc played out and utterly obsessed with lancelot and want to explore every possible dynamic of his, whether or not they've actually interacted. i CAN and WILL gobble up my gwaincelot crumbs of lance shaking his head when gwaine chomps an apple and scares everyone in 4x01. i will do the same with morgana x lancelot. good day.

I AM DUMB. HOW COULD I FORGET ABOUT MERGANA. I HAVE A TAG AND EVERYTHING.

But anyway no, I think I get what you mean about that Morgana & shade-Lancelot scene! And that quote!! It stood out to me as well!

the witch whose bitterness and spite turned her into a power-hungry murderer, and the bravest and most noble of them all, who wishes only to serve. a woman whose heart was corrupted and a man whose heart is unfailingly pure. an aspirant queen and a perfect servant. he could save her. tbh. he could fix her.

[little-ligi]

you have SIX PLANNED FICS OF CAGE FIGHTING GWAINCELOT???!!!

*unholy screaming*

and i will be checking out that published one later today 😌

it is such a good trope and you can get the ✨ angst ✨ in there too, it's wonderful

😁😁😁 I do indeed...! (you know what we were saying the other day about having two cakes?!! Well yeah..... HAVE SIX!!)

(Eee!! I hope you like Blindfolded, it is one of my favourite things I've written!)

Ok, so, since I love talking about my wips and I adore screaming about Gwaincelot, please allow me to prattle on self indulgently for a while...

I’m going to put this under a cut because it is kinda long and has some little snippets!! 😉

1. So first, one that is pretty much exactly like that post, set in episode 3x13. When Lancelot and Percival arrive, Gwaine takes one look at Lancelot and goes, ‘I know you’. And then immediately punches him in the face. The other soon-to-be knights split them up and Merlin has to try and reassure them that they are all friends (at which point they basically have a ‘Merlin is MY best friend! No, he’s MY best friend!’ kind of fight 😂) Equal parts angst and humour!

“Come and meet everyone,” Merlin said, leading Lancelot and Percival over to where the others were sitting.

“Good to see you again, Lancelot,” Gaius said gladly, a smile breaking over his tired face.

“Hang on,” Gwaine suddenly blurted, a frown tugging his eyebrows low over his eyes. “I know you.”

He stormed over until he was right up in Lancelot’s face, scrutinising him with disdain. Then, without warning, he drew his fist back and punched Lancelot solidly in the mouth. Lancelot staggered backwards, stunned and cradling his face. Percival caught him before he fell and practically growled at Gwaine.

“Whoa, whoa!” Leon cried, putting a hand on Gwaine’s chest and pulling him back. “What was that for?!”

2. This one is after they have become knights, and they can’t work out why the other seems so familiar, until Arthur pits them against each other in training and Gwaine does his cool disarming and catching the sword then fighting two handed thing and BOOM... ✨angsty flashbacks!✨

Lancelot’s fingers are bent backwards as the sword is twisted out of his grip. It jars his wrist painfully and he dodges back, suddenly defenceless. Gwaine catches Lancelot’s sword as it arcs out of his hand, bringing the tip down to point at Lancelot’s chest with an easy grin.

Lancelot falters. Only once before has he ever had someone disarm him in such a way; years ago, in a slaver’s fighting cage. He blinks, staring at Gwaine. He imagines him without his chainmail, his face covered in dirt and bruises, his beard longer, his hair tied into a ragged knot at the back of his head.

He stumbles backwards and falls to the ground. It was Gwaine. It was Gwaine fighting in that cage.

3. Another is basically episode 2x04, except Gwaine is there too. It’s Gwaine that does the first fight and sees Gwen (and because he hasn’t been to Camelot yet, he believes she is Morgana) After the fight he tells Lancelot about Hengist having kidnapped Morgana. Lancelot being the noble knight-wannabe he is, obviously wants to rescue Morgana, goes to her cell and finds Gwen instead. (This one is actually more Gwencelot 💕 than Gwaincelot really.)

“Hengist has captured a princess. He’s holding her for ransom.”

“This is no place for a princess,” Lancelot said darkly, his gaze fixed on the dank corner of the room, the echoing sounds of fighting coming from the main hall.

“Particularly not one as beautiful as the Lady Morgana,” Gwaine said. He shook his head sadly.

Lancelot sprang to his feet, hand on the hilt of his sword. “The Lady…? Did you say the Lady Morgana?” Gwaine nodded. “We have to rescue her,” Lancelot said firmly, his voice brooking no argument.

Gwaine considered him for a moment; he knew Lancelot had a twisted loyalty to Camelot despite the way the king had treated him, but this seemed a little crazy. Although…

“Rescuing princesses?” He ran a hand through is hair and grinned. “Sounds like just my kind of thing.”

4. This one they are prisoners and after a fight they are shoved in a cell together and start talking. Lancelot mentions Camelot and being friends with the prince’s manservant and how he was banished, and Gwaine turns around and spouts basically the entire plot of episode 5 (minus the magic bits of course 😂) Lancelot is slightly freaked out and asks how the hell Gwaine knows his whole story. And Gwaine tells him how Merlin and Arthur and Gwen all talked about Lancelot constantly the whole time Gwaine was in Camelot. Basically everyone loves Lancelot, including Gwaine before he even met him!

“You’re Lancelot!” Gwaine cried suddenly, making the other man flinch back. His jaw clenched and alarm flared in his deep dark eyes.

“How do you know my name?” he asked warily. Gwaine didn’t miss the way his hand crept to his waist to draw a dagger.

“Merlin never shuts up about you; his friend who wants to be a knight but isn’t noble.” He grinned. “You killed a griffin.”

“No…” Lancelot shook his head uncomfortably, ducking his eyes away from Gwaine’s. “I… didn’t –”

“Don’t be modest!” Gwaine crowed, slapping him on the back. “Even Arthur mentioned how brave and honourable you are.”

5. A darker whumpy one, where they are really fighting for their lives, fighting to kill each other. They are both pretty badly hurt and are just left for dead by the bandits that were keeping them. They end up grudgingly helping each other. While delirious with pain, Gwaine starts talking about Merlin and Lancelot decides they need to try and get to Camelot (screw their banishments, they need Merlin!) Lots and lots of angst!

6. And lastly, they are both in the fighting ring and have beaten everyone else so their captor keeps pitting them against each other hoping to name one of them as his champion. They are pretty much equal and there is lots of juicy 🔥rivalry🔥(my favourite thing 😉) They start betting each other, but they have nothing to bet with except their life stories so it becomes a case of every time one of them gets a good hit in the fight the other has to tell him a secret about his life. They become really close and eventually fall in love! 💗

Unfortunately you can’t have snippets from these two because neither of them actually have any words yet, just very long rambly plot plans and notes! 🙈🙈

So there we go! Ligi is finshed shamelessly talking about her wips!! (for now 😉😉) I will try and finish all of these at some point... but you know, I say that about all of my wips and then rather than doing it I create new wips instead! My wip count is now up to 84.................. 😑

While writing this post I have actually had two more ideas for new cage fighting gwaincelot fics as well.... 😂🙈😅

[thiamfresh]

Wanna write a merthur fic where Merlin gets caught using magic to defeat Sigan and Uther 'executes' him and Arthur and Morgana become the super siblings they could've been while mouring Merlins 'death'. Including shenanigans such as

- Lancelot becoming Arthur's new manservant (and live in bodyguard) after they find him and Gwen with the Wildren cage fight dude

- Eventual Knight of Camelot Morgana

- Morgana and Arthur trying to deal with kilgarrahs riddle bullshit.

- Uther accidentally learning to respect his secret prisoner Merlin.

- Merlin accidentally haunting Arthur because he doesn't know Arthur thinks he's dead.

- gwaine.

[friendlyneighborhoodcapricorn]

okay just one more teensy tinsy ask and then I promise I'm done - for today - lol

we have definitely spent too long without talking about lancelot again, so what would it be like dating him before he becomes an actual knight of camelot? like I imagine travelling with gwaine before the end of season 3 is a lot different from travelling with lancelot back then, even though they're literally travelling the same lands with basically about the same resources (which are none)

Ooh it’s definitely different! For starters, Lancelot doesn’t throw himself headfirst into every fight he sees lol

Fair warning: I kinda got sidetracked with this one lol

You meet him at some fighting ring, which has apparently become his thing after leaving Camelot.

But wait, that’s not right. You’re sure you’ve seen this guy before. You can’t remember for the life of you where, though.

So that night, when he drags himself out of the damn cage with a black eye and blood blossoming on the shoulder of his tunic, you follow him.

You nearly give him a heart attack when you speak up.

“Do I know you?”

“I don’t know, do you?”

The answer is definitely yes, and it comes to you in the dimly lit tunnels of a cursed citadel.

You didn’t just meet this guy before, you used to be his friend.

“Lancelot?”

“I’m sorry, should I- (Y/N)?”

You travelled together a few years back, after he came to your aid while fighting a group of bandits.

Three years later, with his hair cut short and a scar on his cheek, and you barely recognised him. But it is undeniably him.

“So, did you end up finding Camelot?”

“You could say that.”

“I’m taking it you didn’t become a knight.”

“Would I be here if I did?”

You both decide to travel together again.

In many ways, Lancelot is not the same as he was all those years ago. Becoming a Knight of Camelot was his dream, his calling, and now he doesn’t know what to do with himself.

But you drag him along and that’s exactly what he needs, to see that there’s more in the world than just Camelot.

Together, you take on bandits trying to raid villages -making sure no one has to suffer the same fate Lancelot did- or wayside thugs.

Fighting together comes naturally. All you need is to look at Lancelot’s face to know he’s about to toss you his sword.

He asked you out like it was the most mundane thing in the world.

It was late at night, the two of you lying next to each other in a meadow under the stars, and he just asked. Simple as that.

He surprises you with flowers all the time. He just shows up with them and tucks one behind your ear and gives you the rest.

You show up at Hengist’s castle together and both play a part in saving Gwen. Lancelot reunited with her, Arthur, and Merlin, and he introduces you to them.

You can’t go back to Camelot, but you overhear Lancelot giving Merlin the address of a friend if he ever wants to write.

And then back on the road you go.

He's pulled you out of the shelter of whatever cave you were taking shelter in, just so he could kiss you in the rain.

Occasionally, he'll grab your hand while you're walking just to spin you around and start dancing with you.

It's a simple life, but you've got each other and that's all you'll ever need.

Well, it's simple until you receive news from Merlin that Camelot has fallen.

[panickedshrieking]

Leon: Alright boys, what's the best strategy for a high risk 1 on 1 battle?

Lancelot: Homoerotic banter!

Gwaine: Take off your shirt!

Lancelot: Get really up close and personal until you're sharing breath, then push them away to throw them off guard.

Gwaine: Kiss them and then stab them in the stomach!

Lancelot: If you have to keep your shirt on, make sure that it's low cut.

Leon: Where did you learn this?

Gwaine: Lancelot.

Lancelot: Cage fighting to entertain nobility.

Leon: Does it even work?

Gwaine: Do you want to find out?

Leon: Not even remotely.

Lancelot: Not even the homoerotic banter?

Leon: Lancelot, by beloved friend. I need you to shut the fuck up.

[lit-in-thy-heart]

Theory that Gwaine used to be a bandit

(yes I'm aware that I've headcanoned this in many of my fics but you're getting evidence this time)

In 2×04 we get a cameo from Lancelot, now working as a cage fighter for the bandit leader Hengist. He wears chainmail (who knows where he gets it from but I digress) and, for all intents and purposes, looks very much like a knight. Apart from one small detail.

He has a scrap of cloth tied around his right hand. Knights, of course, wear gloves, but Lancelot is not wearing gloves, and only one hand is covered. And this scrap of cloth looks remarkably similar to one that crops up in s3:

It's never explained why Gwaine wears this cloth and it disappears altogether in s4 and s5, being replaced with the standard issue leather gloves. What's interesting, though, is the way the material is arranged. Lancelot’s covers his knuckles, leaving the skin just above his wrist exposed, whereas Gwaine doesn't mind getting his knuckles out but is very careful to keep his wrist concealed, even having the leather cuffs come up very far.

Later on in 2×04, you can see that Lancelot’s knuckles are bruised, so it's presumable that he kept his hand covered either as a flimsy attempt at protection or to stop his hand from bleeding everywhere. When he's not fighting, Lancelot removes the material.

But Gwaine removes his when gearing up to fight the two assumed knights in 3×04.

He's not trying to protect himself from injury, nor does there seem to be any injury to speak of. Unless Gaius and Merlin treated something, Gwaine's hand seems largely unblemished when we get a shot of it when he wakes up in Camelot.

Aside from those two moments, one of the only times we see his hand fully is in the boot-cleaning scene with Merlin. Shortly afterwards, when Merlin has cut his finger on the enchanted swords, Gwaine is back with the cloth.

So, to recap thus far: Lancelot ties a scrap of cloth around his right hand when fighting for bandits to protect his skin. Gwaine ties a scrap of cloth around his right hand when he is not fighting and doesn't appear to be protecting any injuries. He doesn't wear it as much when he's just around Merlin. The bulk of the coverage for Lancelot is his knuckles, whereas the bulk of the coverage for Gwaine is his palm.

So what if that scrap of cloth is the mark of a bandit? After all, in 2×04 we see several other characters sporting such an accessory, including Kendrick, Hengist's right hand (pun not intended).

Now, Kendrick's is tied in a similar manner to Lancelot’s, rather than Gwaine’s, but he isn't the only one who wears a scrap of cloth: several of the bandits in 2×04 also wear one, but apparently there is a 10 image limit soo...

The cloth that Kendrick has is more similar to Gwaine’s than it is to Lancelot’s. Lancelot’s is still in relatively good condition, especially since it's worn in combat, but both Gwaine’s and Kendrick's are significantly more frayed. Say that the cloth is the mark of a bandit -- you could argue that Gwaine takes it off to fight the 'knights' because he is equal to them, being of noble blood, and wants to do away with any thoughts of him being a bandit. Or perhaps the cloth isn't the true mark, but one lies beneath.

Perhaps there is something more permanent marking the bandits as such, like a scar on their palm. Perhaps Gwaine wears a cloth to cover up the mark, just as Kendrick and his men do to maintain the mystery before Gwen reaches Hengist. Perhaps the only person he feels comfortable revealing the souvenir of his past to is Merlin. Gwaine is one of the only knights to constantly wear gloves in the later seasons -- Percival never wears them, Elyan infrequently, and even Leon and Lancelot don't always wear them. But Gwaine does, even when he's just wandering around the castle (thinking of the 4×06 scene where he tries to get food from Merlin). Say that he does have a brand or another scar that marked him as a bandit. No way would he want to expose that in front of the other knights, particularly if he also had to explain how he was actually nobility.

We don't know what happened to Gwaine after Caerleon refused to help them. We know things didn't go well and there was perhaps something that happened with his sister (he calls her a toad but doesn't elaborate further, which makes me think she did something pretty terrible that he'd rather just brush past), so it doesn't seem completely implausible that the only way to eat was to join a group of bandits. After all, where better to learn about enchanted swords than in an environment where any means necessary are taken to be able to survive and gain as much money as possible?

Maybe Gwaine started off like Lancelot, once, using the material to protect his injuries. Lancelot removes the material outside of combat, when he's with Gwen, as if recognising that the person he is in the arena isn't the person he truly is. Gwaine removes his around Merlin. With Merlin, he doesn't have to pretend to be someone he's not. He doesn't have to be ashamed of his past. The uncovering in the fight with the 'knights' is a warning, if there is indeed a subtle mark on his skin: he knows how to fight and has potentially killed just as many people as they have. And he will not play by the rules.

In conclusion: Gwaine was a bandit before meeting Merlin. And, judging by the state of his covering, he was one for a long time.

[easily-obsessed-1985]

Viking warrior made

Merlin is kidnapped to be sold/forced to be a gladiator

Magic suppressing chains

Nordic/viking captors

Use black paint across their eyes to disguise their features

They teach Merlin how to fight so he can out on a good show

In season 4 season 5 gap

Lancelot is alive, because we love Lancelot

Lancelot was visiting Nemeth to see Princess Mithian, for trade talks and because they're courting, when Merlin is taken

Word gets sent to the kingdoms that a powerful sorcerer has been caught and any interested in purchasing him is invited to attend a tournament where he will showcase his skill

Knights are invited to participate as opponents

Merlin has been missing for a year by the time the tournament is held

A few Knights of the Round Table are interested in competing

Merlin suffered a lot during his captivity, not being able to be free from his chains more than an hour every day

The kingdoms all arrive, pavilions are set up for each for their knights, servants, and royals

Arthur is determined to question everyone present if they have seen Merlin

The servants and knights do the same

When the kingdoms all gather in a makeshift hall, the leader brings Merlin out, still in chains, so they can get a glimpse of the product

Merlin's hair has grown out and curls over his ears, his face has some stubble, and the dark eye paint keep him fairly unrecognizable

He keeps his head down and only growls once when one king touches him; he is rewarded with a swift lash, and he manages to only wince slightly

His breath rushes out when he hears some familiar voices: Arthur and Gwen

When they approach he tries to stay still but his body starts to tremble just barely

He'd been marked with large tattoos crawling around his arms

Arthur asks him what his name is and he can't breathe for a second

Another lash for stalling

He growls out the name Myrrdin half hoping he's recognized, half hoping he's not

When the royals all retire for the night, Merlin is locked back up in his cage

A couple Camelot Knights come to check out the competition

Merlin keeps his head down, until he hears Lancelot's voice

His head snaps up and their eyes lock, and Lancelot's breath rushes out as he grips the cage bars

Merlin shakes his head just enough to keep him from revealing who he is

When everyone is asleep, Lancelot comes back desperate to get Merlin out

They talk for a short time before Merlin hears his captors approaching and begs the knight not to tell anyone who he is

Merlin is brought to the arena just before dawn and is stripped to a pair of tight fitting trousers

No shirt no shoes

The woman in charge recites while painting his face with another stripe down his cheek and presses a needle through his ear and securing a metal loop leaving faint traces of blood on his lobe and down his neck

A symbol is painted on the back of his neck and he feels hands grazing over his shoulder blades

They pull his hair into a few braids, leaving his bangs to cover his forehead lest he be too noticeable

His scars are on full display, but his time in captivity has made him less self conscious

Merlin is glad he hadn't seen Gaius as he would have recognized Merlin from them

He kneels and awaits his orders

The kingdoms are all situated in the various seats surrounding the arena

Two or three knights stand in front of each kingdom as competitors

Merlin was still looking to the ground, so he didn't know which of his friends he'd be fighting

The kingdoms were allowed to go one-on-one or to go all at once, they chose the former

With a harsh command, Merlin rose to his feet, gracefully, standing to his full height, chest out, shoulders back

He fought two from Gawant, and two from Nemeth, all falling quickly

He tried to cause as little damage as he could, but his training had been harsh so he didn't hold back

Amatis and Mercia put up good fights, able to draw blood, though Merlin didn't feel it

Essetir was taken down easily, and there may have been some broken bones because he may have known one of the knights from when he was young, and he had been bullied

Camelot was last, and Merlin was tense as Gwaine and Percival circled him

Merlin made their defeat quick so as to avoid being recognized

Lancelot stepped forward when the others stepped back

Merlin had blood on his face, and blood dripping from his bicep and a small slash on his stomach

Lancelot decided to talk, but Merlin was strung tightly having fought for a few hours now

He told Merlin that he didn't need to fight, that he could stop

The Woman shouted a command at Merlin who attacked

Lancelot defended himself, barely

Merlin had him on the ground in no time, blade pressed to his friends throat

Lancelot looked up at him with sad eyes

He reached a hand up and touched Merlin's face, who leaned into the touch

"I'm so sorry, Merlin. You didn't deserve this." Lancelot told him

Merlin is dragged back then, and forced to his knees while the woman approaches, whip in hand

She speaks to him in her language, and he responds in kind

She walks behind him telling him, in her tongue, this was his own fault

The lashes start and Merling tries to hold in his cries, knowing that will only earn him more

Lancelot tries to stop it, but is forced back by the vikings

The Camelotians don't understand why Lancelot is so agitated

After 10 lashes, the woman relents and tells Merlin, in her tongue, to use his magic to prevent an infection and to heal the wounds to scars

One cuff is removed and his magic flows over him, easing his pain

Once the wounds are just scars, Merlin feels the manacle being put back on

Lancelot yells for him to fight back

Merlin locks eyes with his friend, seeing the pain there, he nods almost imperceptibly

His magic forces his captors back, and he runs to Lancelot, who crushes him in an embrace

Lancelot is whispering to him and then forces him back behind him, away from these savage people

The woman tuts at Merlin and raises her voice

Merlin tenses, but stays behind Lancelot, hand grasping the knights arm tightly

Arthur tries getting Lancelot's attention, but the knight won't move his gaze from the vikings in front of him

Lancelot tells the vikings they can't sell someone who doesn't belong to them

The woman laughs

Merlin growls

The woman then suggests a battle, one final duel and then the little birdie can fly free

This phrase catches the Camelotians attention

A whispered Merlin comes from Gwaine’s lips

Merlin turns sharply, meeting the long haired knights eyes

Gwaine rushes forward, but Merlin has been captive for too long and he quickly retreats letting go of Lancelot, trying to avoid whatever punishment he thought was coming

As soon as he's away from Lancelot the captors have him again, cuff slammed shut on his wrist, held in place by his throat

Merlin growls out in the woman's tongue that he'll accept her final duel if she ensures the Camelotians will be unharmed

She acquiesce's and the vikings begin forming a circle around Merlin and one other man

The one who trained him

The fight is brutal, but Merlin has much to fight for now

He knows that the others have figured out who he is now when he hears shouting

Merlin is quick, but has also already fought many other battles beforehand

He feels his magic straining to get free as he loses ground

As the man is standing over him, crushing his windpipe, his magic breaks free and the manacles shatter

The vikings never stood a chance against the onslaught of magic

The visiting kingdoms are all unharmed

But Merlin lay unmoving on the ground

Lancelot is by his side in a heartbeat, with Gwaine right behind him

Merlin mumbled something that only the vikings would understand

His eyes shot open, blazing gold, as he moved to stand

He collected the vikings with his magic, bringing them in the center of the arena

He spoke viking words, funerary rites, and set them ablaze as he knelt before them

He stayed there for some time before he heard the arguing

When he went to its source, he found the visiting kings ready to face off and declare war, until they noticed his presence

The Mercian King was trying to argue that he agreed to the fee requested by the woman and he intended to take his new property back with him

Merlin stopped the man talking with a flash of his eyes

He started to talk but stopped when he felt Lancelot's hand on him whispering in his ear that he needed to speak common for them to all understand

Merlin nodded, not realizing he'd spoken the other tongue, and informed those gathered he was not for sale

He'd been held prisoner for too long and he would not do so again

If they valued their lives or kingdoms they would leave and not retaliate

When the kings tried to argue more, Merlin told them they're free to challenge him to a duel if it would make them feel better, but since he'd already defeated their champions, the odds weren't in their favor

When the only kingdom remaining was Camelot, Arthur reached over as if to grab Merlin’s shoulder, but Merlin flinched and scrambled out of reach, dropping into a crouch as if prepared to fight, eyes wild

When he looked up and saw the concerned sad look in the King's eyes, he straightened up and came back to stand in front of him, slowly

His King apologized for everything that happened to him, but Merlin stopped him

It wasn't his fault, it was just bad luck he'd been captured and they had figured out some of his power

Merlin held his arm out to his King, who grasped it firmly

Merlin gave him a small smile

He hadn't smiled in a long time

When they returned to the Camelot delegation, Gwaine walked up to him slowly as if he'd spook him again

Merlin ran to him and wrapped his arms around the knight

Everyone cleared away to let hem have a moment, though they didn't go far

The trip back to Camelot was easier than the trip out

Though Merlin didn't help with camp set up, he did cook

He shared a horse with Gwaine, and barely spoke the whole way

When they rode through the lower town heading for the castle, several stared at Merlin, thinking their King brought back a powerful weapon, not recognizing him as Merlin

He was still shirtless as he'd refused to wear a spare

Most of the time he was captive he'd not had a shirt

When they arrived at the castle, Gaius was there waiting as were the courtiers

Gaius recognized the scars almost immediately and rushed to Merlin

Merlin let him inspect him, knowing he was fine aside from new scars

Arthur came over and instructed Gaius to make him take a bath and give him a thorough check up before looking in Merlin’s eyes once more, nodding, and returning to his counselors

Lancelot told Gaius he'd have a bath sent to his chambers so he could be inspected better

When Merlin was stripped down and sitting in the water, his gaze was distant

Gwaine came in and began to carefully wash him, making sure to get all the war paint off

The water was nearly black by the time he was done

Gaius was tense while checking over each new injury and mark, before he finally relaxed, only slightly, and sent Merlin to bed with a sleeping draught

The next day was full of council meetings and Arthur and Gwen were both getting frustrated

When Merlin walked in, clean of the war paint, but not really Merlin anymore, braids still in his hair, tattoos on his arms in view in a short sleeved tunic with his old brown trousers and boots, the council stopped and stared

Merlin addressed them, said he would never cause harm to Camelot, his home, nor his King or Queen. And he was prepared to swear oaths of fealty if necessary to prove such

The council jumped at the idea and within days, Merlin knelt before the King and Queen of Camelot swearing his life in service of their kingdom

He tried to adjust back to being a manservant, but was ill suited for it after his captivity

Instead he became a blade master and taught the knights new techniques

He would often get a far off look in his eyes like he was back in the arena, and would sometimes jump to defend himself when startled, but he was getting better

When he spoke, sometimes it was in the viking tongue, not realizing he'd done it

Gwaine would wake in the night to Merlin shouting and would force him awake and reassure him he was safe

They became inseparable

When they finally married almost a year after he'd been back, Arthur gave Merlin a hard time for waiting so long

Merlin rolled his eyes and reminded the King how long it took him to ask Gwen to marry him

He still didn't smile as much, but that could be because he'd discovered after several years, his friends were aging and graying, and he wasn't

He knew what that must mean and knew he'd have to live on long after they were gone

Everyone was confronted with this fact during a council meeting

Some blustery old noble pointed out that he wasn't aging and that he must be there to take Camelot when the royals passed on

That was when everyone really looked at Merlin and saw he hadn't aged a day in nearly 15 years

His eyes were full of pain and regret, but he told them that he would never take over Camelot, it wasn't his place to be ruler, not when he would live for eternity

The room fell deathly silent

Eternity? Gwaine asked heartbreaking soft

Merlin only gave them a short nod

[donttouchtheneednoggle]

I bet when Lancelot showed up in 3x13 he tried to pretend he wasn't chaotic

Like he met Elyan and Gwaine and saw they were moderately to extremely chaotic individuals and then met Leon and was like I Am Going To Like Be Him

So they're sat round the fire swapping stories and it seems to be working and Lance is just silently praying that Merlin doesn't mention that he was once a cage fighter and Percival doesn't bring up the time he got into a fight with a badger (one time!)

And Percy's very confused cos he's known this guy for like a year now he knows what a chaotic bastard he is but he's never met these people either so he just goes along with it

And Merlin's just eyeballing him like any minute now

And Lancelot is so busy silently begging Merlin not to expose him like this that he fails to notice Leon who has been squinting at him for the last twenty minutes

Until he goes diDN'T YOU GET EXILED FROM CAMELOT FOR JOINING THE KNIGHTS WITH A FAKE ID?

And Gwaine and Elyan just turn to him with identical awed expressions on their faces

And that's how Lancelot's standing as the sensible mom friend of the group gets ruined within the first day

[glass-frogs-and-dragons]

Buy me a drink and I'll hate you less

For @merlinswizardhat

(Do you think Lancelot and Gwaine met in their cage fighting days?)

Pairing: Gwaine/Lancelot

Warnings: Violence, swearing

Lancelot bit onto his belt to muffle his screams as he poured alcohol onto his wound, panting heavily when he was done and furiously rubbing the tears that had been forced from his eyes; he whimpered softly as the pain subdued slightly, but his eyes immediately snapped open as soon as he heard a cough from the doorway.

“Looking pretty rough, mate,” The shaggy-looking man commented. “Need any help?”

He glared at the man and bared his teeth, growling a soft ‘fuck off’, making the man chuckle sardonically and shake his head.

“Wow, okay. That’s what I get for trying to be civil in a shithole like this one.” He commented, grabbing the flask from Lancelot and taking a swig, ignoring the other man’s weakened protests.

“Eh… not too bad,”

“Get the fuck out of here!” Lancelot screamed hoarsely.

“You are aware that we are fighting each other after, right?”

Lancelot’s fiery glare made him shake his head and leave, leaving him alone again with his thoughts and wounds. When he first ended under Hengist’s command he had thought that after one fight he would be gone, but every day he was held back and beaten up and the sheer thrill of facing off against one- the sheer adrenaline of watching the maddened glint in their eyes fade away along with their life… it was the only thing that kept him sane after the long nights of numbness and fallen tears. Long had he mourned what he was forced to leave behind, he had kicked himself for leaving Merlin and Gwen behind, but there was nothing he could do now.

He was trapped, as the stranger had so accurately described it, in this shithole, and there was no chance of escaping this time.

The next person he had to fight was the long-haired man. As the other was an admittedly skilled fighter the fight was a challenge: they twirled and slashed and parried their hits, hitting each other mercilessly until they both drew blood and in the end, both panting and hunched over and glaring at each other with nothing but fire in their eyes. Hengist shouted. They were pulled away from each other and thrown into the same cell. They were given their rations of food and left alone. 

Nothing but their heavy breaths broke the silence in the room.

“You’re a good fighter,” Lancelot admitted after a while.

“You’re not too shabby either, but you’re too bloody propper.”

“Too bloody propper?” Lancelot scoffed.

“Come on, admit it.”

“No! I’m not-”

“Shhh,”  The long-haired man shushed him, putting his hand over Lancelot’s mouth, muffling his offended complaints. “Look, every day at this time those guards come by to bring other people to The Cage. They have the keys to every cell here. If we call their attention and attack them when they come in, we’ll be free in no time.”

Lancelot raised an eyebrow but considered his chances to escape: Gwen, Arthur and Merlin were not going back for him and the probability of leaving on his own was low; he could ditch this man as soon as they left.

“On one condition,”

“What is it?” The long-haired man huffed.

“Buy me a drink when this is over,”

Hazel eyes looked at him incredulously and raised his eyebrows, but his shock soon morphed into smugness as he smirked and winked at him.

“You have a deal, mate.”

“Alright. What’s your name?”

The other man frowned. “Why?”

“If I’m going to trust you, I’d like to know your name at least.”

After a brief pause, the hazel-eyed man ran his fingers through his hair and sighed.

“Gwaine.”

“Lancelot.”

“Nice to meet you, Lancelot,” Gwaine flashed him a cocky, snide smirk and then called for the guards.

A few moments later they were both rushing out, without turning back to look at the flames that were engulfing the slaver’s den and flickering dangerously towards their direction. They stopped a few miles north, out of breath but blissfully free, and sat down on some rocks near a stream; Gwaine let out a hearty bout of laughter before smirking.

“You’re pretty decent at surprise attacks, mate.”

“You’re pretty decent at playing damsel in distress,” Lancelot retorted, but without any true bite, making Gwaine laugh again.

“What can I say? It’s fun,” He winked, standing up again. “I’d best get going, then.” He shook Lancelot’s hand firmly and smiled: for the first time since they met, it didn’t seem forced.

They stared at each other for a moment before Gwaine surged forward, pulled by pure impulse, and pressed his lips against Lancelot’s. The kiss was slightly rough and far shorter than either of them would have wanted but Gwaine still pulled back quickly, trying to make Lancelot ignore the bright red dusting his freckled cheeks; he whispered:

“Safe travels, Lance.”

“Don’t call me that,” Lancelot answered with an awestruck smile.

“My apologies, good sir,” Gwaine bowed with a flourish and winked one last time before leaving.

“You’re infuriating!” Lancelot called out after him.

“I only aim to please, love!”

Lancelot was left to stare at his retreating figure with a soft smile on his lips and a fluttering heart, taking in as much as he could for he knew he would not see him again. He never did get his drink after all.

He did see him again, as it turns out, but he was too distracted by Merlin’s smile to notice the rogue behind him. Merlin hugged him and he melted into the embrace and only then did his eyes meet the other’s hazel ones.

“I didn’t expect us to have mutual acquaintances, Lance,”

Lancelot pulled back and glared at the long-haired man, who smirked at him in response; his frown, however, dissolved quickly into a smile as he pulled Gwaine into a tight hug.

“I had the impression that you never wanted to see me again,”

“Well,” Lancelot drawled, much to Arthur, Gwen and Merlin’s surprise (‘Too bloody propper’- the words echoed in his mind.) “You do owe me a drink.”

Gwaine laughed and Lancelot’s smile softened at the crinkling of his eyes and the joyful sound spilling from his mouth.

“It’s good to see you,”

“As touching as this reunion is,” Gwen interrupted, pointedly ignoring Arthur’s coughed ‘concerning, more like’, “We really should leave. The army will be back soon.”

And so, they were thrusted back gracelessly into the reality of war. 

They didn’t get a moment of peace until they had taken over Camelot and even then they still had much work to do, so the drink was put on hold for some time. Until now.

Gwaine was on the floor wrestling with his boots and groaning in frustration, his hair pulled back in a haphazard bun.

“Am I intruding?” Lancelot asked as he knocked on Gwaine’s door carrying a jug of wine and two goblets.

The long haired man immediately stopped and gazed up at him, his smile brightening and his eyes glistening.

“I thought you hated me, Lance,”

“You grew on me, I must admit.”

“Because of my dashing looks and charming personality?”

Lancelot raised an eyebrow before huffing and sitting next to Gwaine on the floor.

“Let’s say that it’s that and not the possible concussion you gave me.”

Gwaine at least had the decency to look sheepish.

“Or the drink you promised me which, by the way, I have right here.”

At this, Gwaine’s eager smile returned and he poured the liquid into both the goblets; he raised his and clinked it against Lancelot’s.

“To whatever life may throw at us,”

“Unless it’s another cage,”

“Unless it’s another cage.”

Gwaine drank, but Lancelot merely raised the goblet to his lips and observed the other man.

“What?”

Lancelot smiled, feeling bolder and more stupid around Gwaine than he was often allowed to be.

“Nothing, it’s just…”

“What?”

“You have wine… here,”

And with one swift movement, so uncharacteristic of him (the rogue was starting to rub off on him)he licked the corner of Gwaine’s mouth before pressing a kiss against his lips, the sweet taste of wine flooding his tongue. 

[katiecomma]

WIP Tag Game

Rules: I will post all the names of all the files in my WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous, and tag as many people as I have WIPs to do the same. Send me an ask with the title that most intrigues you and I’ll post a little snippet of it or tell you something about it.

Feel free to ask about several WIPs. I love talking about them.

@nade2308 @csinickstokes - You guys asked for it... it's... A LOT... I'm the queen of Unfinished WIPs...

I'm putting these ALL under Keep Reading... because it is NOT a small amount... also: tagging as many people as WIPs is laughable... so that's not happening... And I'm going to tag my people here so they don't have to scroll down what is going to be an insanely long list... @stephmcx @becauseimawinchester @turtle-steverogers @badwolfbadwolf @frozenmemories1987 - as always this is totally for fun and only if you want to guys.

Ok... here goes...

MacGyver (2016)

Baseball AU (listing this because it is unfinished... if you guys want to know more about what's to come you can ask for something on this one)

Tokyo

Prank War

MacDalton McDanno

5 Times - Jack/HR

Jill/Mac

Episode Related (folder title not a WIP)

- 301

- 303

- 311 - coda

PTSD

Light Pollution (Cabin Under the Stars 2)

Those Who Favour Fire (Riley/Mac Fire/Ice)

Desi/Cage

Jack/Matty/Ethan

MacDalton T-shirt Five Times

MacDaltonStokes (folder title not a WIP)

- Caught in the Act

- Hypothermia

- Dating

- Isn't It Weird Bonus Requests

- Lost and Found

- Proposal Chapter 2 - From Prompt

- Nick Kidnappers for MK

- DaltonStokes First Meeting

- Kovacs

- Fight

- Warrick

- DaltonStokes - Mistletoe

- New MacDaltonStokes verse

- Random Smut

64 Days

Bozer/Kalei

Maybe - Mac/Zoe

Jack/Cage 5 Times

Back From the Sandbox

Domestic - One Shot

Nudity

Quarantine

The Breakup

Prince/Soldier AU

Nobody's Ever Really Gone

Mac/Jack/Jill

After the Ghost in NY

Adrenaline

MacStokes

Mac/OC and then MacDalton

Hayloft - MacDalton

Werewolf/Vampire

MCU

Sam/Steve

SamSteve Fall Vacation

Storres

Rumlow/Bucky

SamSteve - First Move

Being Human (UK)

Christmas Miracle

Leverage Fic

Safe

Wanted

No Idea What I Can Do

Can't Lose You

The Old Guard Fic

Jealousy

Kindness

00Q

I Hate Flying

Star Wars (FinnPoe)

Post TroS

Waking Up

Star Trek

DS9 (folder not a WIP)

- Garashir - Home at Last

Voyager (folder not a WIP)

- Harry/Tom - Out of Uniform

- Random ABO idea

Merlin

To Bed Ideas (idea document and folder that contains the dashed list below)

- Elyan

- Gwaine

- Leon

- Percival

- Lancelot

- Arthur

- Bonus Percy/Gwaine

Love Potion

The One You Love Most

OT3 Merline/Gwaine/Arthur

Perwaine 5 Times

Gwaine Doesn't Die - Smut

Crossovers

Mac/Buck - Epilogue

Halloween (idea document and folder that contains the below)

- Scisaac

- Sterek

- Cath/Quinn

- Buddie

- McDanno

H50

415 Coda

5 Times

PTSD

Carson Rodes

Danno Maid of Honour Trash

The Future

McDanno S1 Get Together One Shot

A Little Tied Up

1013 Coda

1015 Coda

BroTPs for the Win

Super random smut

The Jersey Slip

The Missing Peace

Random Get Together

Married

Steve/Jack - Series End

Air Mattress

I'm Not Leaving

Nahele

Supernatural

Two Rooms

CSI

Warnick - Dom/Sub Smut

Warnick - Break the Spiral

9-1-1

Sleep Tight

Buddie

Anger

Buddie Almost Died

Buddie Domestic

Post Crossover Ep - Buck Comes Out

The Future

Random Smut - Eddie Panic/Control

Buddie/Step Up

Eddie's Sexual Awakening

Teen Wolf

Blood

For Life

Stiles Voyeur

Pack bond

First Touch Soulmate AU

Cabin Trip

Don't Leave

Where's Stiles?

Interrupted

Scisaac (Humpty Dumpty)

Scisaac Winter Cuteness

Isaac/Stiles/Derek - Audience

Panic

Define "Ok"

But Now I See

Consent

The Rave

Scisaac - Bike

Scisaac - Ice Bath

[bellamyblakru]

You caught me doing something dangerous and flipped out (lancelot / merlin)

EKKK I FINISHED THIS OMGGG. thank you so so much for sending this prompt in mor sksksksksk this was so much fun to write and im so happy to get back into writing (for a minute at least 😂). my mercelot heart loved every second of this, so i hope you enjoy it as well🥺💖💖it is very merlin-centric but i hope that doesn’t ruin the experience!! thank you again🥺💖

you can read it here or on ao3!!💖

Merlin stumbled up the stairs into the castle, scarcely aware of his panting echoing loudly in the empty corridor. He knew that he should be throwing himself into Gaius’s room, shutting the door, and sleeping this off, but he couldn’t make it that far. He needed somewhere to go—and fast. He felt the wound pull with each step, the blood soaking his shirt and pants enough that he couldn’t remember what color they originally were.

Lancelot is going to be furious with him.

——————that morning——————

No one was smiling this morning as Merlin made his way to the throne room. A sort of silence had fallen around the castle like a leaden blanket, and Merlin feared that it did not bode well for anyone.

Things have been fine lately, happy almost. Of course that couldn’t last—when could they ever just be at peace?

He pushed open the throne room doors as quietly as he could, peering inside to see most of the knights already assembled staring at the map with matching frowns.

As he walked closer, Eylan and Leon looked up briefly to smile and nod at him before returning to the map, and he realized Gwaine, Percy, and Lancelot were nowhere to be found. Going to his place behind Arthur, who stared at the map with such heat that Merlin was surprised it didn’t burn up immediately, he asked quietly, “Where are the others?”

Arthur jerked up and spun around toward him, surprised evident on his face, “When did you get here?”

Merlin let out a small laugh, “I told you I can be quiet when I want to be, sire.”

Arthur narrowed his eyes and huffed, “And you never want to be quiet during hunts? Even when I ask nicely?”

Merlin gaped, “When do you ever ask nicely?”

Arthur smirked, “Fair enough.” he sobered up before continuing, “The others are coming back from a quick patrol I sent them on this morning. When you were collecting herbs for Gaius, a citizen from an outlying village came sobbing about rampant magic wielders killing everyone they come across in the name of freedom.” He shook his head in disgust, “I sent Percival, Gwaine, and Lance to escort the villager home to retrieve his family and friends to bring them into Camelot for safety. They should be back soon with news.”

Merlin swallowed hard at the thought of more magic being used for evil, for destruction. How can he ever show his friends, especially Arthur, how good magic can be if they only ever see it used for pain?

He nodded sharply in reply, masking his face of any sign of distraught, and calmly walked back to the pillar he normally leans against during audience and council meetings.

Moments like these were the hardest. Where his lies buried themselves so deep in his soul that he could feel himself failing to reach the surface for air. He will dream of the pyre tonight, he knew, and will be forced awake with the sound of his own choking from asphyxiation. He will stay awake for hours after, staring into darkness, wondering how much more of his own kin he will have to slaughter before they can claim true liberation. How much blood on his hands will he need to be considered the monster everyone believes him to be with this power?

He felt himself tremble with the thoughts. Looking around the room flooded with the late sunlight, he narrowed his stare at his friends discussing plans around the table, and begrudgingly felt his panic kick in. The trapping feeling suffocating any breath he had—he was trapped, and it was a cage of destiny’s own making.

His eyes darted from door to door, the urge to run, fast and far away, becoming almost unbearable and inescapable. He was considering excusing himself with some bad reason when the door slammed open—knights and the villager in tow.

Lancelot’s eyes immediately snapped to his, and Merlin knew then that he couldn’t, wouldn’t, run—not when Lancelot’s first look towards him was filled with such a deep understanding and sympathy.

Lance knew everything and didn’t think him a monster, and that is what kept him from darting every time Arthur called him useless, or dumb, or threw something at him. He wondered then if Lancelot would run away with him if he asked. Would the knight’s loyalty be tested or would he simply stand by his King without batting an eye? He would never ask Lance to make such a decision, though.

The knight was his closest friend, his most trusted confidante, and every day Merlin ached with the knowledge that Lancelot bared his secrets alongside him. If Merlin was to burn, Lance would be on the next prye.

Merlin refused to let that happen.

He snapped himself out of the daze he fell into, eyes refocusing on the knights speaking with the King. Merlin watched how Lance’s glance kept flicking his way, and when Merlin met the barely concealed worry within them, he tried to give a reassuring smile. However, Lance’s frown deepened—Merlin sighed, And here I thought I was good at this facade.

“..gathered all the others and placed them in a large tavern in the lower town. They should be safe there,” Percy told Arthur, who nodded in response.

The villager was shaking, Merlin belatedly realized, as he looked at Arthur’s chest to speak next, “M-my family appreciates your efforts, s-sire.”

Arthur grimaced, “No need to thank me. I wouldn’t want any more of my people hurt from these maniacs.” He stepped forwards, placing a hand on the man’s shoulder, “Go now. Rest with your family, I will make sure you are all seen to, properly.”

The man sputtered his thanks and dropped into a clumsy bow before turning around. Merlin, unable to stop his feet from moving, quickly walked forwards to catch the man before he disappeared, “Sir?”

The man froze, still shaking, as he looked up to Merlin with confusion. Merlin continued, “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

The man gave him a gentle smile, seeming to relax with Merlin’s presence, “I’m alright, young man, thank you. I appreciate your concern.”

Merlin gave a tentative smile, aiming for charming and warming, “If you ever need any assistance, I live with the Court Physician. Ask for Gaius or myself, and we will be there.”

The man clasped arms with him, a crooked smile forming, “I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you again—thank you all.”

Merlin watched him go, unease in his gut. He didn’t know what it was about the man that made him uneasy, but it simmered long after the villager left them alone in the throne room.

Merlin turned around to see the others talking amongst each other and he made it to Lancelot’s side just as Gwaine began talking.

“Princess, I’m telling you: no one seemed scared! Only that man’s family seemed a little unsettled, and even then, it seems suspicious to me.”

Arthur rolled his eyes, “Do you expect them all to be sobbing and cowering? Of course they are putting up strong fronts! If my home was under attack, I know I wouldn’t want to show fear. I would rather be fighting against the attackers than hiding away in some strange town.”

Gwaine didn’t reply, but Merlin knew that Arthur’s answer wasn’t enough for the knight. Merlin stayed quiet, though, already calculating when he should go out to take care of this. Arthur ruined his calculations with his next proclaiment, however.

While rubbing the bridge of his nose, the King sighed out, “We will go as a group tomorrow to face them. Gather the provisions tonight, prepare the horses with any protection we can gather in the short amount of time. We will meet in front of the stables at first light.”

And with a ‘Yes, sire’ muttered by everyone, Arthur dismissed them.

Merlin didn’t hesitate to beeline for the door and escape before Arthur ordered him to do anything—he needed to think of something, and rather fast at that.

Merlin found himself on top of the battlements, staring at the horizon that seemed too far and much too close all at once. He usually found himself here to clear his mind. The view made him feel alive, more connected to the world, and, most importantly, he didn’t have to hold such a tight grip on his magic this far above.

No one ever came here besides him.

With a sigh, Merlin loosened his hold and let his magic out through his nose with his breathing. His skin seemed to stop crawling from the inside out, the sky looked more blue, and the air felt sweeter in his lungs. It had been too long since he could let go and he knew part of his trapped feeling had to do with his magic being stifled within his veins for too long. He took a deep breath, willing his magic back in slightly, and he laid down looking up towards the sky.

The sun will be going down soon, and Merlin figured he will be leaving after dinner to approach these rouges himself to handle them before it got the knights killed. He glared at the sky when he realized he couldn’t ask Lancelot to come with him—not again. He has endangered that man’s life quite enough just by breathing, and with his hope to keep Lancelot safe for as long as possible, he just couldn’t bring himself to ask. Lance would say yes, like always, but Merlin cannot—will not—actively put him in harm's way.

Merlin shuddered thinking of a life without Lancelot in it, and, well, it was simply unfathomable.

Lance was his rock, his reason to keep fighting when shit hits the fan, the only person who constantly sees Merlin for who he is and does not cower from it. Lancelot embraces every part of Merlin, flaw and all, and Merlin would be completely lost without him in his life. Lance swears that Merlin is the bravest man he ever met, but was it out of bravery or selfishness that Merlin faced all these threats alone? Merlin didn’t know, and he didn’t want to think too much about it in fear of the true answer (even though, deep down, he knew his answer was one he didn’t like).

So, the plan was rather simple: leave Camelot at dusk, talk or fight with the rouges, and make it back before sunrise.

It sounds easy enough.

A few hours later, after successfully avoiding Lancelot’s knowing gaze and delivering the King’s dinner, Merlin set out to the nearby town. He knew it was only an hour or two away from Camelot, so he snuck out of Camelot, grabbed his mare Honey, and set off briskly. His mare knew the drill by now and obliged easily, especially with Merlin’s magic soothing her with each gallop.

Soon, Merlin entered a clearing close to the town’s borders. He tied Honey a good distance away, leaving her some food, and took a deep breath before walking into the field. That uneasy feeling returned in gut and he knew this wouldn’t end well.

Just as he thought that, five hooded people walked out to meet him in the middle of the large clearing.

“Emrys, it’s good to see you again.”

Merlin squinted in the dark, “Again?”

The man laughed, throwing his hood back, “We met a few hours ago. I hope I left a good enough impression to be remembered.”

Merlin rolled his eyes, “Of course it’s you,” he scowled at the villager he met earlier today, “Why would it be anyone else? Why did you seek aid with King Arthur if you are part of the problem?”

Merlin was fairly certain he knew the answer already, but he needed time to access the power of each person here. The one on the left held the most potential, magic coming off her in waves, but the rest were mediocre at best, if the last person had anything at all but small tricks up his sleeve.

The man was in the middle of explaining what Merlin was sure to be an “ingenious” plan to get close to King Arthur when he interrupted, “How did you hide your magic from me? You know I’m Emrys and all, so you must realize I can read you magical abilities by proximity, but I didn’t sense it on you originally. So, how?”

The man blinked, and then glared at Merlin for his interruption, “I have a pendant that covers my magical scent. It’s been passed down through generations. My mother gave it to me to get close to the King…”

Merlin tuned him out again, pondering such an artifact. It would be useful to him against more powerful creatures, but he wondered if it hurt at all or if he could use that instead of shoving his magic deep down everyday.

When all the sorcerers looked at him expectantly, Merlin frowned, “Did you ask something?”

The powerful one spoke up this time, her voice much stronger than her peer, “We asked for you to join us, Emrys, to bring peace to our lands once more. To restore magic, free our people, make you the rightful King.”

Merlin flinched slightly, “Rightful King? I am no King. Arthur is the once and future King, the rightful heir to the throne and the only man I will serve. But I had a feeling you knew my answer already, so why try this?”

The woman shrugged, a small wicked smile on her lips, “Proving your loyalty in the flesh is a nice incentive to make it easier to kill you—the most powerful warlock or not, you are still a traitor.”

Merlin rolled his shoulders, “Let’s dance, then, shall we?”

It was brutal, to say the least, as Merlin limped back to Honey trying to ignore the blackened, scorched earth and bloodied bodies scattered about. He looked down at the wound in his abdomen and debated whether he should just stay over night or make it to Camelot before light. He completed the first two steps of his plan, he might as well continue with it. So with a painful moan, Merlin hoisted himself on top of his mare, who neighed upset at the smell of bad copper, and willed her to go back home. He didn’t have the strength to hold the reins, not when both hands were being used to staunch the blood flow.

He swayed with the frantic galloping, trying to forget the pure malice on the villager's face when he stabbed him when Merlin was off guard for a second. The villager had taunted to kill Merlin’s knight when he was done with him after he managed to stick the knife and that’s when Merlin’s magic exploded out of him. His magic responded with his emotions—and when Lance was threatened, his heart stopped beating for a second before the world exploded in a blinding white light. No one survived after that blow.

Merlin was barely conscious when he made it back to the stables, but he was able to sneak back in the way he came out—completely unnoticed by the guards, even with his blood loss, Merlin knew how to get in and out of Camelot quietly and quickly.

Merlin stumbled up the stairs into the castle, scarcely aware of his panting echoing loudly in the empty corridor. He knew that he should be throwing himself into Gaius’s room, shutting the door, and sleeping this off, but he couldn’t make it that far. He needed somewhere to go—and fast. He felt the wound pull with each step, the blood soaking his shirt and pants enough that he couldn’t remember what color they originally were.

Lancelot will freak out when he sees him, but Merlin had no other choice. Limping, he blindly remembered the route to Lancelot’s room as he clung onto consciousness with every fiber of his being.

Just a few more steps. Lance will keep you safe—he always keeps you safe.

With his vision narrowing with the blackness crawling in, Merlin quickened his steps and landed in front of Lance’s room. He collapsed, hitting the door with his body, and the last thing he saw was Lance’s terrified expression before he welcomed unconsciousness with a sigh of relief.

——————

Merlin woke up, wincing from the ache in his body, and blinked a couple times at the ceiling before he remembered what happened. He quickly sat up, and then immediately regretted the action when the room started swaying.

When he managed to calm his breathing and dizziness, he leaned against the headboard of the bed and his eyes found a still awake Lancelot, who was staring blankly at the roaring fire.

“Lance?” Merlin croaked out, his voice dry and scratchy like he had been screaming for hours.

The knight slowly looked up from the fireplace, and Merlin saw how red-rimmed his eyes were.

“Lance, I’m—“

He threw his hand up, stopping Merlin, and stood up to start pacing in front of the bed. Merlin watched, heart aching, as Lance tried to work his breathing into something less panicked, less terrified.

He stopped abruptly, spinning to look at Merlin. They held the stare for a moment before Lance started glowering at him, “Merlin.”

Usually, the way Lance says his name gives him butterflies, not that he ever admitted that to anyone, but this time made him look down in shame and he started absentmindedly picking a loose thread in the knight’s blanket. Merlin realized then that he was completely cleaned, in Lance’s small clothes, and there was a glass of water next to the bed. Merlin’s heart warmed at the actions, but when he looked back up to see a still fuming Lance, Merlin scooted forwards to try and grab the man’s hand.

Lance let himself be grabbed, and Merlin pulled him onto the bed in front of him as whispered brokenly, “I’m sorry I scared you.”

Lance huffed, his anger still not dissipated, “Merlin,” and said warlock looked up to see waring emotions in the knight’s eyes, “I was more than scared. I was...terrified.” He shook his head, using his free hand to wipe down his face, “I couldn’t find you after the meeting, so I searched the entire castle for you. I knew you were planning on doing something idiotic, but I didn’t realize you would do it so soon.”

Merlin heard Lancelot’s breathing hitch before he continued, “I thought maybe you went out for more herbs, or that Arthur had you working overtime and that's why I couldn’t find you. I-I couldn’t sleep when I figured out that you must have gone without me. And I know you can handle yourself—Gods!” He stood up again, anger and fear and pain in every movement, “I was so scared, Merlin! Do you know what it’s like to know your best friend left you behind on some self-sacrificing quest for some reason? Is it because you don’t want my help? You would rather risk your life over and over again without me at your side as backup? Am I that horrible?”

At Lance’s frantic questions, Merlin felt the tears falling down his face as he vehemently shook his head no.

Lance saw this, stopped moving, and whispered, “My heart completely stopped for a moment when I saw the state you were in. Merlin,” he let out a small, broken gasp of air, “I thought this time that I-that I would lose you. And I can’t—“ he covered his mouth when a strangled sort of sob escaped him, the anger bleeding out to utter exhaustion.

Merlin blindly reached out for Lancelot’s hand again, pulling him back down to him, and they stayed like that, intertwined, for a few moments before Merlin had regained enough strength to talk.

While rubbing Lance’s knuckles with his thumb, Merlin quietly spoke, “Lancelot,” he waited until the man’s beautiful brown eyes met his, “I cannot lose you.”

And when Lance opened his mouth to say something, Merlin plowed on, “I should’ve told you that a long time ago. You-you keep me centered. You make me want to live, Lance. Not survive, not exist. Live.

I never had someone who looks at me the way you do, who knows all the dark shit about me and continues to look at me the same way. I make mistakes, constantly. I hurt people, Lance, and it kills me a little more each time. I hurt my own kin to keep Camelot safe, to keep you safe, and I ache knowing that I damned you with me. That’s the worst pain of all. I was born damned, but you? I dragged you into it, and I will not allow you to be set aflame alongside me. I refuse.

You deserve a life without this extra burden I force upon you. I am cursed with this life, but you have the ability to turn a blind eye, to not be feared for simply breathing.”

Merlin felt the bed shift, and his brief thought that he finally drove his only true friend in his life away was squashed when Lance sat next to him, pulling him underneath his arm. Merlin’s tears came back when curled into Lance’s side, his hand on the knight’s chest feeling his heart beating steadily.

Lance stroked through Merlin’s hair softly, “Merlin,” and there were those damn butterflies again, “I choose to stay at your side. You are the best person I know. And before you deny it, I know you are forced to make hard decisions every other day, and I know you are the most powerful warlock to ever exist, and, in spite of those facts, who you are, at your core, never changes.

You can burn cities down with a flick of your wrist, you can harm anything or anyone with barely a thought, you can overthrow Arthur at any moment, but you know why you don’t? Because, in your heart and in your soul, you are a good, beautiful person. You see the light when others only see the dark, you defend those who cannot fight for themselves, you love so deeply and unconditionally that everyone you meet can’t help but adore you.

So, no, I will not let you pick for me who I chose to love. I picked you to stand by, with your magic and all, and I will always pick you. If you wanted to leave Camelot tonight, I would pack my bags without hesitation. You did not damn or burden me, love. You are all that I believe in, and I will never turn my back on you.

I will be by your side, for as long as you want me, to whatever end. If we burn tomorrow, then we burn together. I’ve made peace with my decision a long time ago.”

He kissed the top of Merlin’s head when he finished, pulling him closer to let him cry onto his chest while rubbing the warlock’s back. With his free hand, he wiped away his own tears before grabbing Merlin’s loose hand.

“So...” Lancelot said, trying to lighten the mood a bit, “if you leave on some self-sacrificing mission without letting me help you again, I will tell Gaius on you.”

Merlin gasped dramatically, leaning up on Lance’s chest to look him in the eyes, “You wouldn’t dare!”

Lance smirked, “Oh, I would.”

Merlin gaped, the smile breaking through betraying his false exasperation, “Fine. I’ll bring you with me next time, but promise me one thing?”

Lance softened, nodding, and Merlin laid back down listening to the knight’s heart beat as he spoke, “If I tell you to run, you will run without hesitation.”

There was silence for a moment before Lance responded, “I cannot promise that, Merlin.”

Merlin frowned, looking back up to see Lance’s eyes already on him, “I cannot promise that because I would rather die than leave you alone during a battle. Even if the odds are stacked against us, I will never leave you behind. If I run, you run. If you fight, I fight. We are in this together, Merls.”

Merlin couldn’t stop the tears from falling again as words sank in fully, “To whatever end, huh?”

Lance smiled softly, nodding, “Let’s get some rest. After almost scaring me to death, I am completely spent.”

Merlin went still, preparing himself to leave the warmth of Lancelot’s body, but Lance tilted his chin up as he asked, “Stay the night?”

Merlin beamed, wrapping himself completely with his knight. He fit into Lance’s side perfectly, like it was always meant to be the two of them against the world.

And when Merlin drifted off to sleep, with Lance’s hands still rubbing his back, he felt lighter than he had in years. And for the first time in a long time, no nightmares plagued his dreams.

[night-faye]

Agony + Black and blue with Gwaine please! (maybe also featuring Lancelot...)

So. Before you read this... I am so sorry.

Gwaine tried to breathe through the pain enveloping his body, but could barely do so. Mostly because the majority of the pain was spread across his entire sternum, radiating outwards from his right rib.

The inside of his mouth tasted overwhelmingly metallic, and his lips were warm-wet with the blood slowly trickling out from behind them.

Slowly, he forced his eyes open, blinking blearily at the darkness around him. There was the incessant sound of dripping water hitting stone, every five seconds, and he was sure he was going to go crazy from it before he was rescued.

If he was rescued. He’d been here at least a week, if not more. It was hard to tell how much time passed. All he knew right now was pain, the darkness of this pit, and the fights. There was no day or night, with how deep underground this abandoned cave system was.

He shifted, slightly, to try and get his head off of the jagged part of the rock it was laying on, only for his entire body to spasm in white hot agony. Every part of him felt like it was on fire, and he bit his lip, drawing more blood, to avoid calling out and alerting his captors that he was awake again.

Gwaine shut his eyes, and sucked in shaky, painful breaths, could feel the shift of what was surely a broken rib or two, and the painful pressure of something digging into his lung. The taste of metallic grew stronger, and it bubbled at the base of his throat.

He tried not to cry, because he was a knight, and the men his father had called ‘Brother’, which he hadn’t understood until the round table but had accepted nonetheless, had always said knights didn’t cry, especially when they were dying, it wasn’t the honorable way to go.

He hadn’t cared about his own honor, still didn’t, but in a twist he never saw coming he did care about Arthur’s honor. Arthur, who got into a bar fight to defend a peasant he’d never met before, simply because it was the right thing to do. Arthur, who spoke against his father, the king, for Gwaine. Arthur, who at the first chance he got had knighted three commoners and Gwaine, believing him too to be a commoner, simply because he believed they were worthy of it.

So, yeah, he cared about Arthur like he was another one of his younger siblings, and he didn’t want the nobles knighted by Uther who detested the round table, their own head knight included simply for association, to start speaking on how dishonorably Gwaine had died, and how it was a stain on Arthur, a stain on the rest of the ‘Low-born’.

Distantly, he could hear yelling, and tried not to flinch, because flinching meant more pain. He was sure the damn cage fights had started, again, which meant they’d likely come and drag him towards the ring again, soon. Never mind the fact he couldn’t even breathe, let alone move, let alone walk.

It was an old story that he knew all too well. If he couldn’t fight, he would die.

He had always been lucky enough to earn his freedom, or survive long enough for someone else to break free and leave the way out open, or to be rescued by a wide-smiling black haired boy and a blonde prince who was too much fun to tease.

Gwaine guessed his luck had finally run out, and he breathed out a slow, careful breath. At least the pain would finally be over…

Fingers, carefully probing across his chest, pressed against the right side of his sternum, had him gasping, a sharp, choked cry ripping from his throat as he body arched with the sudden pain. Careful hands clutched at his shoulders, and he heard, distantly, a soothing voice.

“Shh, it’s okay, you’re okay, we’ve got you, we’re here.”

Lancelot. Thank the gods.

His breath shuddered, and he collapsed back again, already bracing for his head to smack against the hard stone.

It landed in a lap, and rough, callused fingers pulled gently at his hair. “We’ve got a head wound, too.” A voice, authoritative and stern, yet gentle and soothing at the same time. Couldn’t be anyone else but Leon.

“Merlin…” Lancelot whispered, his voice choked and wobbling, and Gwaine wanted nothing more than to put his hands against his cheeks, and run his thumbs under his eyes to wipe at the tears that were no doubt there. But he couldn’t even open his eyes, because there was a painful brightness that was no doubt a torch they had brought with them.

“I’m trying, but his chest… It’s a mess of black and blue, and I think there’s internal damage. I don’t know if I c-” He cut himself off, teeth clacking together., a shaky breath filling the silence. ‘I don’t know if there’s anything I can do.”

“The others are patrolling the area to make sure we’re not ambushed by more slave traders, they won’t come to us until we call for them. Do whatever you have too, Merlin.” Leon said, and Gwaine tried to figure out what that even meant, before there was heat flooding through his body.

All coming from Merlin’s hands, pressed carefully over the right side of his sternum.

He gasped, and for once it didn’t hurt, and he opened his eyes to meet Merlin’s.

Merlin’s tear filled eyes.

Merlin’s golden tear filled eyes.

A moment later, and it was Lancelot’s gentle brown that he was staring into, stress and relief warring on his face.

“Hey, you alright?”

Gwaine swallowed, but nodded, his head still pillowed on Leon’s lap, his face still in Lancelot’s hands. “I… Yeah.”

There was a collective sigh of relief, and Merlin slowly pulled his hands away.

“I… Gwaine, I-”

“I won’t tell anyone, Merlin.” He said, trying to force as much reassurance as he could into the words. He still ached, but Merlin had just said he wasn’t sure what he could do, so the fact it was just aching felt like a miracle.

Merlin’s lips flickered, a there-and-gone-again smile, and he nodded. “I would do more, but, that’d be hard to explain.”

“I understand.” He told him, and carefully moved his arm to grab Merlin’s. “It’s alright, Merls. You saved my life, a little bit of aching is nothing.”

Merlin smiles, and Lancelot laughs, breathy and relieved, and Leon lets a breath go over him, and Gwaine…

Gwaine lets himself drift into sleep as a tear rolls down the side of his face, because that’s all it is. Just sleep.

And there is honor in the release that crying brings.

Posted on AO3 - Here

Prompt list - Here

[panharmonium]

I would like to add Gwaine to the list of friends Merlin had. Especially in the 3/4 seasons he really was ride or die for Merlin, they shared intimate details with each other, they truly trusted each other. There were instances where the show alluded that Gwaine knows about Merlin's magic and is fine with it.

hi there!  i’m assuming this is in response to the post i reblogged about will and lancelot being merlin’s only “real” friends?  

i’m actually happy to write about this, now that the question has been posed - it’s been a while since i wrote anything long about gwaine!

fair warning in advance: i don’t personally classify gwaine the same way i do will and lancelot, and that’s what this piece will cover in more detail, but these are just my own thoughts, and it is totally cool for everybody else to have different opinions.  my take is my take, but it does not have to be everyone’s take - if people wanna scroll past because this isn’t their vibe, i don’t mind in the slightest. :)

so, without further ado - i LOVE gwaine, and i have written extensively about how amazing his relationship with merlin is (some examples here, here, here, and here, if anybody’s looking).  he is the most likely of all merlin’s living friends to ditch arthur in the name of addressing merlin’s needs, which is super important, and he also has a much healthier friendship with merlin than arthur does (in my own personal opinion, of course, which nobody is obligated to share).  he definitely does go ride or die for merlin in S3/S4, i agree.

but my own thoughts on this particular point are still the same as they were in that original post.  i tend to hide my clarifications/explanations in the tags, so they might have flown by, but i’ll just copy/paste the relevant bit here for ease of access, as some background for the rest of this post.

re: will and lancelot were merlin’s only ‘real’ friends:

#what this does not mean: merlin has no other friends!  merlin doesn't have meaningful and important relationships with other people!   #what it does mean:  #every single one of merlin's other relationships is undergirded by the sickening knowledge that those friendships are conditional   #every single one of his other relationships is accompanied by the constant undercurrent of 'they would hate me if they knew'   #merlin knows his friends 'care' about him   #except they don't really; because it's not truly him they're caring about   #they care deeply - about someone merlin made up   #about a facade.   #in the most basic sense   #those relationships aren't Real   #the love merlin feels for the people in them is real   #but you cannot truly be 'friends' with somebody who doesn't even know who you are   #you cannot be loved without being known   #you certainly cannot be loved without being safe

obviously i suppose a person’s thoughts on this would be different if they headcanoned that gwaine knew about merlin’s magic, and that’s fine.  i personally do not believe canon indicates or supports that, but i’m not out to convince people to abandon their own fanon interpretations of things; i’m happy just hanging out in my own space talking about my thoughts.  me writing meta is the virtual equivalent of me talking to myself in my room - if other people have different conversations with themselves, that’s fine :)  i don’t mind if other folks organize their thoughts about things differently.  

in accordance with that - everybody please feel free to continue on with your own interpretations, and ignore mine if mine do not appeal to you!  if people are interested about how i organize my ideas on this, though, they are essentially as follows:

1) a cage fighter, a class traitor, and a fake sorcerer walk into a tavern

ok, to start with - here’s a graph.

(...who tf starts a meta post with ‘here’s a graph’ lol i just drew a venn diagram for the first time since like...middle school...i LOVE fandom, man, this is RIDICULOUS)

anyway

this is a very rough interpretation of how i think about gwaine, lancelot, and will:

to address some of these elements individually:

lancelot and will give merlin something that gwaine can’t - safety, authenticity, the comfort of being known and seen for real, a respite from constantly qualifying every friendship with ‘they would hate me if they knew’

lancelot and gwaine, likewise, give merlin something merlin wouldn’t be as likely to get from will (if will were still alive, i mean) - an understanding of merlin’s devotion to the Crown, a supportive ally in the fight to promote arthur’s reign and keep arthur/camelot safe

will and gwaine, for their part, are more likely to tell arthur to go fuck himself, if it’s important for helping merlin, and that’s a different kind of support that merlin also really needs.

and will, on his own, gives merlin something that neither lancelot NOR gwaine can provide, which is a friend who isn’t connected to or even particularly interested in arthur pendragon (merlin has nobody in his life like this, not after will dies) - somebody who knew and cared about merlin before merlin had any proximity to arthur, before this whole ’destiny’ issue reared its merciless head.

everybody in merlin’s life matters to him and gives him something important.  gwaine is STUPIDLY important to merlin.  the love there is real.  but in canon, because gwaine is not in the know, gwaine is still one of the people from whom merlin feels compelled to hide himself.  gwaine is right up there alongside gwen, arthur, elyan, percival, etc - every other person who merlin loves, who merlin nonetheless constantly, back-of-his-mind fears, ‘they would reject me if they knew.’

the above is part of why i personally have never been too interested in ‘so-and-so knows about merlin’s magic’ canon-imaginings.  there’s absolutely nothing wrong with them, and i’m sure people must have tons of fun with them - and in an AU context maybe i would have fun with them too - but as hopeful interpretations of actual canon, they don’t appeal to me.  merlin’s near-total isolation and desperate, constantly-frustrated desire for real, honest love is an inalienable aspect of his character for me, one i can’t separate from who he is and why he does the things he does and why he eventually ends up in the place where we find him towards the end of the show.  

2) i just want someone to see me for who i am

i have seen a bit of sentiment out there along the lines of ‘merlin should have told (x person) about their magic’ or ‘(x person) obviously doesn’t have a problem with sorcerers,’ but i guess i personally don’t think it’s as clear as all that, and i think me saying it is would be doing merlin a disservice.

merlin’s desire to be seen/known/accepted is literally the most base urge he has.  if he truly thought he could tell somebody safely, he would.

i think merlin knows the people in his orbit well enough to know how they feel about sorcery, at least in a general sense.  and even if they aren’t bloodthirsty bigots like uther, they aren’t exactly welcoming magic with open arms, either.  at the most basic, elementary level, merlin understands something that we don’t like to think about: none of his friends ever challenge arthur on the sorcery ban or express any dissatisfaction with the political status quo, and, even absent outright bigotry, this fact speaks loudly enough in and of itself.  merlin’s friends might not be out clamoring for sorcerers’ blood, but they aren’t criticizing a society that criminalizes sorcery, either, and they are never shown to have a problem with the way things are, even though the way things are is wrong.

The Way Things Are is, in fact, unjust.  it’s oppressive.  and allowing that state of affairs to continue, unquestioned and unchallenged, when you have access to the king’s ear and aren’t personally in danger of being persecuted, indicates that you’re okay with the injustice.  that you’re comfortable with the oppression.  that you don’t see a problem with the status quo, and that you're unbothered enough by it to let it be.

it doesn’t matter that merlin’s friends have never straight-up said ‘boy, magic sure is evil’ onscreen.  they never say that camelot’s policies are wrong, and that delivers a clear enough message on its own.

3) it is not a crime to fight for your freedom

to bring this back to gwaine specifically, since that was originally the focus of this ask -

for me, for all that i adore gwaine, and for all that i think he was, for the most part, an INCREDIBLY sound, healthy relationship for merlin, the truth is that gwaine is as much a part of this problem as everyone else.  does that mean i personally think gwaine would have summarily dumped merlin if he’d found out merlin had magic?  no.  but i don’t think it’s as uncomplicated as maybe we wish it might be, and i think merlin has every right to be as uncertain of gwaine on this issue as he does of everyone else.

for one thing, like i said before, even gwaine, who used to have fewer qualms than any of the knights about pushing back on arthur’s BS, has never said a word about camelot’s injustices, or ever acknowledged that the laws of the land are unjust to begin with.  

for another, there are specific moments that kind of make you wonder.

5.05 (’the disir’) is a good example of this - when gwaine finds osgar in the woods, the two of them have this exchange:

you are a sorcerer, a heretic, and a murderer.  

the rhetoric of this sentence frames all three of these things as equivalent entities - criminal ones.  

to pick this apart more carefully:

a) sorcerer

it’s worth noting here that we’re never told osgar has done anything worse than evading arrest for the crime of being a known sorcerer.  when leon mentions him in the council meeting, the conversation consists solely of the following:

“as you know, a few days ago our garrison in the forest of breckfire intercepted the man who goes by the name of osgar.”

“the sorcerer.”

“the same.  they were trying to apprehend him when he used his powers to escape.”

and…that’s it.  osgar’s crime, as far as we know, was simply being a sorcerer (and then, after that, attempting to escape an unjust arrest, thereby killing a knight in the process).  there’s no mention of any other activities that would have warranted his arrest in the first place, other than the possession of magic.

but magic, even on its own, IS a crime in camelot - and gwaine levels the accusation at osgar as such.

b) heretic

that’s a hell of a word to throw around, if you think sorcery is chill.

“heretic” isn’t a mild accusation.  "heretic” has vitriolic severity behind it.  people are accused of heresy when they’re perceived to be in brazen defiance of what is (in the eyes of the accuser) unquestionably right and correct.  “heretic” is like…it’s like blasphemer.  the connotation is not just that something is bad, but that it’s sinful.

for gwaine, either osgar’s association with sorcery and/or his defiance of camelot’s army makes him a heretic.  and that’s not something a person who is down with sorcery or supportive of a magic-user’s struggle for freedom would say.

c) murderer

if gwaine were cool with sorcery, we would expect him to understand that a sorcerer who resisted arrest for the crime of being a sorcerer isn’t a murderer.  

it’s like kara said in 5.11 - it is not a crime to fight for the right to be who you are.

camelot has been killing sorcerers for decades.  osgar mortally wounded a soldier (not an innocent civilian, i might note) who was trying to imprison him.  he was resisting the armed forces of an oppressive state.  that’s not murder.

somebody who understands that camelot is an oppressive regime wouldn’t think of this as murder.  they would understand that it is not a crime to protect your own life when the state has literally been trying to exterminate your people for years.  and even if osgar had been engaged in rebellious activities against the state (which as far as we know is not the case - nothing like this is ever referenced!), they would understand that people with magic have long been overdue for a righteous uprising.  

but gwaine is a little more like arthur, in this moment - he sees the “wrong” that osgar has done (in the form of sir ranulf’s death) without seeing the thousands upon thousands of wrongs that camelot visited upon the magical community first.

4) you can’t go armed into a sacred place

the rest of this episode is similar.  gwaine pays just as little heed to merlin’s warnings as the rest of the knights, when merlin admonishes them that the disir’s cave is sacred.  gwaine doesn’t relinquish his sword or take special care upon entering the cave.  in fact, he is the one who outright interrupts the disir while they’re speaking - as they’re telling arthur a series of hard truths, that he’s persecuted magic-users, “even unto slaughter;” that he’s desecrated their space: “you come here, to the most sacred of the sacred, to the very heart of the Old Religion, with weapons drawn - trampling hallowed relics - treating our sacred space like you do your kingdom - with arrogance - with conceit - with insolence - ”

and gwaine cuts them off, pushing to the front of the group and shouting at them “enough!  you speak of the king!”  and that’s when the fight starts, when mordred gets stabbed.

someone who was fully accepting of magic, or who knew anything about it at all, would not have behaved this way.  they would not have bristled at hearing how arthur’s regime unfairly persecutes the magical community.  they would have known that it was true.

5) i just want to be myself

the above is just one example, but it’s a clear enough one to illustrate what i mean.  gwaine IS an amazing friend to merlin.  he does treat merlin well.  and merlin loves him to death.  but gwaine is NOT totally chill with magic.  i’m not saying he actively hates it, but he is not, from what merlin has witnessed, entirely safe.  merlin loves him, but he can’t be himself around him.

and i do think that pains merlin terribly.  all these people who he loves so much, and every time he’s with them there’s always that whisper: ‘this is a charade.  all the love in my life is a lie.  they only like me because they don’t know me.  if they knew who i really was, this would be over.’  

and we wonder why he never tells anyone.  we tell him he ‘should’ have told gwaine, gwen, morgana, arthur, like it would have been easy, or even possible, for him to ever consider putting himself in a position where he could lose what precarious, partially make-believe connections he has.

merlin, in the later seasons, when he worries about his magic being exposed, isn’t afraid of being executed.  he’s afraid of becoming even more alone than he is now.  and he has good reason to feel that way - even people who appear to put him first aren’t fully on board with the thing that makes him who he is.  and merlin knows this.  he’s seen it.  none of his friends are out fighting for people like him at court.  some of his friends shake their heads and assure arthur “you are a good and just king” when arthur expresses concern that maybe the disir are right, maybe he has indeed transgressed.  some of merlin’s friends used to buck the system in defense of the powerless, but now they defend the regime even when the accusations levelled against it by an oppressed population are true.

merlin knows that revealing himself is a kind of risk that could very plausibly end with him utterly disowned.  every single friendship he has is subject to this justified fear, this bitter knowledge.  merlin has every reason to doubt the soundness of his relationships.

and, circling back to the thing that started all these musings - the only friends who never made him feel that way were will and lancelot.

that’s all i mean when i say that will and lancelot were merlin’s only “real” friends.  i wish there were a better word to use than that, because i really don’t mean it like…as if merlin’s relationships with other people weren’t…valid, or important, or based on true love and care.  they were.  but there’s just not a better way to express that will and lancelot were the only people who ever even knew who they were friends with, who saw merlin for exactly who he was and said “i love you still.”  they were the only ones whose friendship was something merlin didn’t have to be afraid of losing solely for existing.

i always think of morgana’s line in 2.11 - ‘i don’t want to be brave.  i just want to be myself. i don’t want to be alone anymore.’

around everyone else, merlin has to be brave.  he has to keep up the pretense, which means even when he’s surrounded by friends, he’s completely isolated.

with will and lancelot, though, he could be himself.  with will and lancelot, he wasn’t alone.

6) post-script

i really appreciate being given the opportunity to muse to myself about this in more detail - i actually needed to think through some things regarding gwaine anyway, for writing purposes, and this was actually really helpful in organizing my brain.  so thanks, anon, for the prompt!  

i know my answer probably runs counter to your own interpretation of things, but as i said, this is just my own personal outlook.  i typed it up because the message got me thinking, and because i know i have a couple of friends who might find it interesting, but my thoughts apply only to me, and i do not mind at all if folks think about these things differently!  nobody is obligated to agree with anything i write, or give it any further thought, or even read it at all - we’re all going to engage with this story in different ways, so if anybody finds that this isn’t their cup of tea, please feel free to scroll on by, and keep having fun with this show in whatever way makes you happiest! :)

[gremlinbehaviour]

Recognition

For @febuwhump day 24: memory loss

Fandom: Merlin

Wordcount: 1679

Elyan and Guinevere have been kidnapped and taken to Hengist's old castle with the cage fights, but when the others arrive to rescue them, Gwen is unconscious and her brother doesn't seem to recognize any of his friends.

Read on ao3

As distressed as Arthur had been when Guinevere was kidnapped and brought to Hengist’s castle the first time, and as scared as he had been to see Lancelot and her tied up in the center of the cage and unable to defend themselves, this time was worse. She was his wife now, not just a serving girl he fancied, and she had been kidnapped along with her brother. Her brother that now stood guard over her unconscious body, or, no, don’t even consider it. If only Elyan would lower his sword and let him past to see her. When Merlin had tried to get past him to check on the queen, the knight had practically growled at him and stepped to the side to come between the two of them. His clothes were soaked in blood that Arthur could only pray wasn’t his own, and there was not a trace of recognition in his eyes as he looked at his friends.

“Elyan, mate, it’s us. Your friends,” Gwaine said, hands raised placatingly. The man in question didn’t respond, or even react, to his words. There was a snarl affixed to his face, worsening whenever someone took even a half step forward. "We're not going to hurt you, or Gwen." When this still didn't prompt a reaction, he turned to look at Arthur and Merlin. "What's wrong with him? Is he enchanted?"

"I don't think so," the servant replied.

"It's more likely that his body and mind are just taxed beyond the point of reason," Arthur added. "I've seen it before, in other soldiers. They just get too tired and used to fighting to recognize when the danger has passed." It could happen during the length of even a short fight, but it was more common with longer battles or extended survival situations. A week, which was how long it had been since Elyan and Guinevere had been captured while on a picnic outside of Camelot, was evidently long enough for it to set in badly. The king wondered if Gwen would even be affected when she woke. If she woke. He needed to get Elyan out of the way so they could check on her.

"What do we do?" Percival asked. He was starting to look nervous himself, agitated by his friend clearly being in distress. Fighting their way through all the slavers hadn't bothered him in the least; in fact, it had been cathartic, but seeing one person he cared about scared and in pain was almost enough to bring the big knight to his knees.

"We can try to talk to him, try to disarm him, or simply wait for him to collapse," Leon laid out the options. Now that he pointed it out, they could all see that Elyan was shaking. His legs were planted wide apart for stability, his sword held up but in both hands, as if he barely had the strength to raise it. It probably wouldn't be long until he no longer posed a threat and they could get safely around him to Gwen, but then again, with his stubbornness and desperation, it could be longer than they could safely wait. Guinevere needed attention now . Arthur's hand clenched in frustration around his sword, and instantly Elyan’s eyes were on him. He might've been oblivious to their words and identities, but he was clearly hyper-aware of their movements and the threat that they could pose.

"Percival, Gwaine, you take his right side, Lancelot and I will take the left. Don't hurt him, at all costs, but get his sword away from him. Leon and Merlin, see if you can get past us to Gwen. If he reacts to that though, stop and get to the side of the cage out of the way." This direction was clearly meant for Merlin, but Leon nodded as well. Carefully, the king and the other knights approached their friend, swords out but not raised. They only brought them to defend themselves if Elyan lashed out, not to land any blows themself.

"Elyan, listen to me," Arthur said firmly when the knight started to get more agitated, raising his sword and baring his teeth viciously. Was this how cage fights always were? The king had a hard time reconciling this snarling, bloody image of his friend with the dignified front he usually put up. "It's us. Your friends. We aren't going to hurt you, or Gwen. We're here to help."

Whether his words would have worked was unclear, as Gwaine stepped into sword range and Elyan struck out at him. Normally, as sparring partners, the smaller knight knew enough not to let his blade into the position where the rogue could twist it away, but as he didn't recognize them this time, he didn't know how to avoid it. Lancelot caught the blade when it went flying, and now that the man was disarmed, Arthur darted forward to grab his arms.

He wasn’t prepared for Elyan to fight dirty and ram his knee up into his crotch, or to slam his head forward into his chin. Letting go instinctively, he stumbled back, but thankfully Percival had jumped in to grab the smaller knight from behind. He wrapped him in a bear hug and pulled him close to his chest, tucking his head underneath his chin and squeezing his arms tight to his sides. Elyan practically screamed in apparent frustration as he struggled and squirmed to try to get free, and the sound was horrifying in its bare desperation. Eventually, finally, he started to go still. Leon worried it was a ruse, to try to get them to let down their guard, before he let his eyes close and his body go limp.

“Percy?” Elyan whispered, so hopeful he almost sounded reverent.

"Yeah, it's me, you're okay."

"Oh, so he doesn't recognize us at all by sight, but he knows Percival from two seconds of having his arms around him?" Gwaine teased gently.

"Like you wouldn't be the same way," the big knight retorted playfully. He released his bear hug on Elyan in favor of picking him up bridal-style to carry out of the cage. 

Realizing that the danger with the disoriented fighter was over, Arthur quickly turned to where Merlin and Leon were tending to his wife. "Gwen," he said softly, kneeling down beside her. She had a bump on her forehead, but other than that she didn’t appear injured.

“I think she’ll be okay,” Merlin assured him. “Her breathing and pulse are steady.”

“Thank Heavens,” Arthur breathed. He picked her up carefully, with Merlin helping to support her head until he could lean it against the king’s shoulder. Carrying her out of the cage, he noticed Elyan had been carefully sat down on a bench, with Gwaine sitting on one side of him and Lancelot on the other. He held tight to each of their hands, but let go and quickly stood up when he saw Gwen. His legs buckled under him and Lancelot was just barely fast enough to pull him against his hip with a hand around his waist and keep him from collapsing. Gwaine jumped up to brace his other side, and Percival looked on nervously.

“Is she okay?” Elyan asked, reaching out towards his sister.

“She’ll be fine,” Merlin reassured him. “I’ll tend to both of you when we get outside.” The group of knights had killed the leader of the kidnapping ring and his right and left hand men, and scared off most of the other mercenaries and such they had hired, but it would be best to be safely away with the incapacitated queen and the king’s brother-in-law before they had the chance to come back. Gwaine and Lancelot pulled Elyan’s arms around their shoulders to help him walk as they followed Arthur towards the castle’s exit. Leon, Merlin, and Percival stayed on the lookout for potential enemies, but thankfully they encountered none and reached the horses safely. Gwen had even begun to wake up, though her brother was gradually becoming less coherent.

“Lancelot, can you check him for any head injuries?” Merlin instructed as they set up camp. Elyan was conscious, but by this point extremely disoriented, and he kept asking them what had happened, where they were, and, most disturbingly, when they were going to make him fight again. The picture was slowly becoming clear to Lancelot and Gwaine especially; the kidnappers had been throwing him in the cage for a number of fights, not just the one right before they’d rescued them.

“Don’t hurt Gwen,” Elyan mumbled as Lancelot carefully ran his fingers over his thick hair, searching for any bumps or cuts. He winced when he found blood over his left temple. “Please, I’ll do what you want, just don’t hurt Gwen.”

“No one’s going to hurt your sister, it’s alright,” Gwaine tried to soothe him. As the two knights  had both been cage fighters themselves, they were the best able to understand what Elyan was feeling and calm him down. Later, when the knight was more aware, they’d talk to him more about the fighting and try to offer their support as he worked through the trauma of it, but for now he needed their help remembering that he was safe more than anything. Gwaine was patient, as he so rarely was, and kept gently reminding him who they were and that Gwen was safe, while Lancelot gently cleaned the cut on the side of his head. It wasn’t deep, thank goodness, but there was a bad goose-egg under it. Whatever blow had caused it was enough to explain his confusion, especially coupled with the situation.

“I wanna see her,” Elyan demanded, fighting free of Gwaine’s grasp on his arms. Fortunately, Gwen herself was awake now, though just as disoriented. Percival helped her brother over to her, and instantly the two siblings threw their arms around each other and refused to let go. They would be alright with some sleep, Merlin assured everyone, and let them lie down and snuggle close together as they drifted off.

[specialagentlokitty]

Percival x reader - Die to protect you

36,32, 24 for Sir Leon or Percival (the reader has magic and Leon/Percival find out and tell Arthur) - Anon❤️

24. “Do it, I dare you, cage me, I am a monster after all.”

32. “I made a promise I’d look after you, even if it cost me my life.”

36. “I’m going to be honest, I was terrified of you when I first met you. Now i think you’re a huge softy.”

No one was supposed to be there, it was for safe space, where you went to go to practice your magic. It wasn’t anything big, a simple spell that made a few flowers grown on the grass below you, but a short gasp made you tense and turn around.

“Percival...”

“You’re magic...” he whispered.

Sighing, you knew denying it would only get you in worse trouble. You didn’t want to lie to anyone, especially not Percival. So, you nodded.

He begun to back away and your heart dropped knowing exactly what it was he was going to do.

“Percival please, I’m begging you don’t tell Arthur, I’ve never hurt anyone!”

“I... I have to.”

He ran off and you let out a chocked sob, running a hand through your hair you did the only logical things your mind could think off. You ran. You left Camelot and hid yourself in the woods, not knowing what would become of you.

After months of wondering, you stumbled into the knights again to see them begun surrounded by a small army. Much to big for them to handle, so, with a deep breath you ran over, thrust your palm out, shouted a spell that sent the army flying back.

“(Y/N)!” Merlin yelled.

“Go! I’ve got this!”

“There’s to many for one person!” Lancelot yelled.

Huffing a laugh, you hands caught flame and you lowered your head to the ground.

“Not for me.”

You didn’t dare meet any of their eyes, but you listened to their footsteps retreat.

“You’ll pay for that!” A soldier roared.

“I definitely will, though not by your hands.”

It didn’t take long to wipe them all out, but in your fight you had been stabbed, now your side bled heavily and you knew you didn’t have the energy to heal yourself.

Dropping to your knees, you took a shaky breath and placed your hands to your wounds, but the blood easily seeped through your fingers.

“(Y/N)!”

A pair of hands landed on your shoulder and someone dropped in front of you. You didn’t think anyone would turn back for you. Percival placed on of his hands over yours and you laughed weakly.

You watched as all the other knights surrounded you, Merlin begin rumaging through his bag and Arthur stood over Percival.

“You have magic.” Arthur said, “Percival told me but I didn’t dare believe it to be true.”

“Do it, I dare you, cage me, I am a monster after all.” You laughed bitterly.

“Who said anything about caging you?” Gwaine said, “you certainly aren’t a monster.”

“Lay her down.”

They did as Merlin said, Percival rested your head in his lap and brushed some hair from your face.

“Can you heal it yourself?” Lancelot asked.

“I’m not strong enough... I used most of my energy fighting the soldiers.”

“Why did you do it?” Percival asked you gently.

Turning your eyes to his, you offered him a weak by warm smile.

“I made a promise I’d look after you, even if it cost me my life.”

“Why?”

His voice was pained and he leaned down over you. Percival kissed your hairline and held you gently. You could feel Merlin cleaning your wound and trying his best to stitch it together, though the pain had numbed.

“I’m going to be honest, I was terrified of you when I first met you. Now i think you’re a huge softy.”

“You were scared of me?” Percival chuckled.

“You’re a big guy...”

A few others laughed and you turned your gaze back towards the sky. You stared blankly at the endless blue.

“(Y/N)? (Y/N)!”

“Percival...”

“Stay with us, please...”

“I’ll try...”

The edges of your vision clouded back and tears threatened to spill from your eyes.

“I love you Percival...” you breathed.

With that, your eyes slipped closed and the knights wasted no time in rushing you back to Gaius. Day by day Percival day by your side begging you to wake up, in all of their hearts there was hope that you would wake up

TAGS:

Merlin: @havlindzk @sitkafay @milleniumxhan

All: @sitkafay @havlindzk @drakelover78 @sammysgirl1997 @mp0625 @tc5322