#had a really bad period this week | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

swordsonnet · 2 months

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note to body: one chronic illness is more than enough. we don't need more

#had a really bad period this week #i'll spare you the details but let's just say it was quite literally a bloody mess #so i did some research and apparently even what i consider 'normal' periods are way above average #in terms of pain and blood flow #and i should really get it checked out #atm i think it's either endometriosis or uterine fibroids but i'll have to see a gynaecologist to make sure #problem is that for both of these conditions there isn't really any proper treatment #aside from 'take painkillers/hormones/the pill and hope for the best'#ugh ugh ugh #(technically i already had two chronic illnesses bc i've been diagnosed with me/cfs and pots #but they have very similar symptoms so i kinda just view them as one thing)#chronic illness fuckery

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tittyinfinity · 6 months

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it's crazy finding out you're autistic as an adult bc then you start to notice the ways it affects you and has affected you throughout life

and then it becomes a hyperfixation bc you're like "omg this makes so much sense now" and you start feeling a bit better about yourself knowing that there's an explanation to everything

#.bdo #autism #''panic attack disorder'' they have all been full-on meltdowns #which is just as much of a reason that I stopped working as my chronic pain #bc the last job i had i quit in the middle of a phone call #bc the lights and sounds on top of the problem solving on top of my ADHD were Too Much #i was also incorrectly diagnosed with both bipolar type 1 and BPD #it was the PTSD mixed with everything else like my post-partum depression and psychosis #found out that the ''bipolar'' was just me being happier when i have my pain meds #and getting everything done in those couple of weeks where i felt better (''mania'')#and of course more depressed when i'm in more pain bc i can't not notice it #and then also my period really fucks me up too and i get extremely angry for 3-7 days straight #but anyway #i noticed how i stim and how the way i think specifically in patterns and numbers #i've always had really bad texture issues w both food and fabric #i have misophonia and can also feel certain noises (ESPECIALLY mouth noises)(ESPECIALLY if it's repetitive)#it makes me feel like i need to make the noise too #and half the people in my family have vocal stims #ik they can't help it but it sends me into panic attacks & meltdowns #i can hear electricity on top of my tinnitus #i get socially overwhelmed easily bc of all the masking #i talk to myself and make my own noises when im alone #i have repetitive thoughts that will cycle for weeks sometimes months at a time #so i think the ocd is comorbid #bc ever since i was like 5 i've had this pattern that i HAVE to tap on things every now and then or it drives me insane #i get intense hyperfixations for months or years #there's just a lot i notice about myself now

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8rujaa · 2 months

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anytime The Suffering™️ stops i hate myself so much less. like no i wasn’t a useless stupid worthless idiot that couldn’t bring myself to finish a task, i was just being tortured with pain to a level normal people don’t experience everyday and extreme sensory issues and a million thoughts a second is all.

#like oh i was not expecting all this self compassion but it feels good!!! maybe i am too hard on myself!!#when my symptoms go away completely i always have the SAME thought #and it’s ‘no wonder people can accomplish so much in one day. there’s no obstacles!!!!!’#i’ve been burnt out so bad cuz i worked like 60 hrs and that was A Lot #60 hours weekly with sometimes only one rest day #specially considering I was not working months before due to chronic pain affecting my mobility and giving me brain fog really bad #so my pain had been going on again and I kept pushing through because I didn’t want to let myself down #anyways i got medicated today and my entire nervous system feels Fixed. like even my pain went away which i didn’t expect #im outside skating and enjoying my day with a frog in my throat because I got so much accomplished today #and I feel so at peace and I feel like I can do anything #like I got done today what would’ve taken me all week. and i’m still excited to finish other projects tonight #discovering my neurodivergence has been such a journey #im like worried cuz yesterday i actually was begging god to take my suffering away and i said it would make me a believer again ……….#like??? okay who heard me? 🤔 which religion was it??? 🤣🤣#my period makes me dramatic as fuck sometimes 🤣🤣#iris.txt #brain vomit

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restinthewest · 2 months

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I wish she didn’t need it, but I am grateful for the time spent with Hallow every day while I do her maintenance massage and stretches. It’s meditative for me, it’s quiet time to connect with her, it’s such a lovely thing I can do to instantly relax her and make her feel better.

Barring some brief periods of time when I’ve slacked off, we’ve been doing this every day for over two years. She looks forward to them and asks for them. Instant relaxation, instant snoring. Thank god for our rehab vet who taught us how to do this.

#I really do think they help her #I’ve noticed during the periods where I miss a week or so #her knuckling reflex in her right hind gets really bad #and that leg just looks really weak #(she’s never had knuckling problems or weakness in her left hind which is weird)#I’m thinking of starting her on gabapentin #she doesn’t have obvious symptoms of pain but idk how she wouldn’t have some #*sigh.* I love this dog beyond reason and I wish she wasn’t broken but I’m happy there are things I can do for her.

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charlotterenaissance · 7 months

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having an almost comically bad couple days so i'm microdosing on all my fixations by alternating episodes of kids in the hall, night court, h2o just add water, and conan o'brien remotes. just having a normal one

#the fun part of being the child of my alcoholic dad and junkie mother is that my form of vice is old tv shows #as i try to zone out while stone-cold sober #i had a bad day at work which was the capstone to a rough couple weeks #which is why haven't really been on here #and i'm pretty sure i can't trust my own vision or whatever because i look at things and get told i'm wrong #and then i found richard moll died so i'm not doing so great #i am so sad #i'm just so so sad and scared #all the time and i hate this so much and i hate being a burden to the person i love #and i just feel so alone and not good at anything and not good enough for anything or anyone i'm just not worth anything #it's my fault for only being able to conceptualize relationships via the familial bond #so i take my boss who is normally sweet and patient with my stupid worthless self #yelling at me as rough as you can possibly imagine #she didn't even yell at me specifically but every time she came by i flinched and any time i said something she got mad and yelled at me #i don't know i'm sorry #i just want to disappear #i'm also on my period one more cosmic corkscrew of pain

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seilon · 7 days

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i wish there was a cure for the sheer genuine dread I feel for summer like I really can’t stand it

#well. there is a cure and that’s the ability to travel. especially to places with enjoyable bodies of water. and I don’t even mean that far #I mean like literally a two hour drive west or east (the ocean or Lake Tahoe)#where it’s a bit cooler And there’s enjoyable bodies of water (enjoyable in different ways of course)#but alas!!!!!!!!!#I can’t fucking drive. going anywhere is expensive. I have to abide by work hours and the work hours of my friends. and that’s if they’re #even in town (the one who usually drives for example is going on a 3 week trip to Italy until the end of june) and I don’t have many friends #at all #my friends don’t really like spending money on anything. etc etc etc #it’s not fucking easy #so all summer is is just.#unbearable 100+ degree weather where every day is the same bleak dry desert nothingness #I don’t live on my own still and my mother basically refuses to use the air conditioning unless it’s like 95+ degrees outside. and even then #it’s for short periods of time.#I can’t go anywhere without ending up soaked in sweat and feeling like I want to fucking die #my heat tolerance has gotten so fucking bad it makes me feel sick #it’s fucking awful and I don’t know what to do about it #I’ll inevitably be walking in that hell weather anyway to get to the bus and go to work so woohoo #kibumblabs #I really wish I had the freedom and funds and friends to enjoy summer. I really do

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spikeisawesome456 · 8 days

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#I might delete this later but I'm feeling a bit disheartened and want to just put this out there into the world but not super publicly #But like #The worst part of being overweight in my opinion is that it's so so hard to feel cute or pretty or even decent looking #I'm going to Japan with my older brother next week and I've been curating a cutesy Lolita-esque style outfit for the trip and I finally #got the last of the pieces so I tried it all on. And it's just... no matter how hard I try I can't really see myself as cute in it #I don't know maybe pink isn't my color and this just isn't my style. But.#I tried really hard to make an outfit I'd feel cute in and it's devastating to not really see myself as cute #And it's not really that I think I look bad per se it's just...#I don't know #Not what I wanted it to be I guess #And I know that if I posted pictures people would say ''wow you look great!!!'' because people always say that kind of thing #But I'd always think they were lying or were playing it up #Even if they really weren't #I just wanted to feel cutesy and everything and it hurts somewhere deep inside to not feel that way #I'll still wear the outfit in Japan since I spent enough time and money on this outfit but it really dampens my enthusiasm #And this wasn't the first time I've tried on the dress obviously. I've been trying it on periodically all along #But I kept hoping that once it was done and I had the makeup all on maybe I'd finally be able to see myself as cute #But no #I still don't. Not really.#It doesn't help that the dress itself doesn't even fit properly #I got it on sale which is what sparked this whole idea in the first place and it was always a size too small #It never zipped properly but I was able to work around that with an outer corset that held it closed #And a lace shrug that helped hide the weird bunching in the back #I can sometimes get the dress zipped now since I've lost a little weight #But it's a struggle and I can only do it about half the time and it feels like I'm going to break the zipper each time #I'd think to buy a new dress but a) that would cost even more money and I've already spent way more than I had wanted in my endeavor #to feel cute in this dress. And b) all of the accessories are tailored to this dress specifically #It would be hard to find a good replacement and there is no guarantee that would even help #So I just... I don't know #It's just hard.

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homuncvlus · 12 days

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Pmdd is actively fucking ruining my life fuck fuck this shittt

Why do I have to live with the consequences of things I do when I'm like this and why do i only get one good week a month if I'm lucky

#ive messed up really bad bc now my teacher just thinks im making excuses when i want to explain everything and why its not so easy for me #well i didnt say anything but i said i will send her an email and i left in a hurry so now shes worried abojt what it is im going to say #its related to when i was posting about how i tried to be truthful about the situation but again it was only half #and i dont have an official diagnosis i havent beem abck for a checkup yet fuck this #i left in a hurry and now im in bed i didnt mean to but my default is reaction is flight and i had to get out #this whole day i thought i was going to die the anxiety got so bad i almost cried at lunch arghhhh #tldr i deleted a bunch of work when i got too overwhelmed and just wanted to see it again and now deadline is wednesday #i dont have time for this my exams start in 2 weeks #and i got my period this morning #i need to kill someone why do people not understand the difference between an excuse and an explanation when im literally trying my best to #be honest here #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #pmdd posting #lasar being incoherent

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herawell · 1 month

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#negativity cw #menstruation cw #looks like dry peeling skin on my face is a new pms symptom 🙄#I mean I’ve always had dry skin there #but in the last 1.5 weeks it’s gotten really bad #like after taking a shower my face would feel not just dry but painful #and the skin all around my mouth and nose would be peeling and flaky #couldn’t wear concealer for days because it would just dry out my face even if I moisturized underneath #so I just went to work w my acne scarring #good thing I connected it with other PMS symptoms and I didn’t buy any new moisturizers or foundation #now that my period is here the flakey peeling has stopped #thinking back this also happened about a month ago during my last cycle #I am wondering if this new symptom is indicative of some hormonal something or other #at least I can wear concealer again

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ridiculously-over-obsessed · 1 month

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Had a horrifically dysphoric week and it's made me even more frustrated and pissed off with the state of Gender Affirming Care in the UK and that it'll be a minimum of three years before I can even start on the path to T/top surgery, not to mention the fact that the cost of living crisis just has me completely broke, and I can't work because I'm just a mess, like just the idea of it gave me a massive 3 day long panic attack... I'm just feeling very frustrated and exhausted lately 😔😔😔

#max rambles a lot #idk what this even is maybe just a scream into the ether #having an absolutely savage period when i'm feeling super shit about my gender is def not helping #i'm just soooo tired and frustrated lately #also my back has been really bad at the latter end of this week which has NOT been fun #wishing i just had a magic wand to suddenly just be male presenting rather than just existing like this #just feeling crappy ✌🏻

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cannibalkissies · 3 months

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I'm having the worst health issues this month ;~;

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caffeinatedopossum · 11 months

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Oh god I'm having flashbacks

#i know it probably sounds really bad but i wish i had 'normal' flashbacks like the stereotypical ones #that last like 10 minutes like a typical panic attack and afterwards and sometimes during it youre like 'oh this is whats happening'#because that is not the case for me 😅 i straight up dont fully know what im having flashbacks to and they can last like weeks upon weeks #they also happen where im like having flashbacks to multiple distinct but similar events amd it fucks me up #because the time periods get all scrambled

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newtness532 · 1 year

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the worst possible thing happened (i got my period)

#i hate this #its not even that bad yet #it wasnt supposed to come until Saturday and i was glad bc it was very convenient timing but ofc it had to come now thats very inconvenient #i have a 3 hour long lab tomorrow #and i will go earlier to eat there #(at the uni restaurant not the lab lol)#so ill have to be out for like 4.5 hours #and i wanted to go to the gym but yeah just no #but at least it explains why my legs were so weak today #and im also gonna have to be taking iron supplements which i hate for various reasons #ugh can we just skip this week please #ugh and on Thursday i have 2 lessons. 3 hours each and i have to go #have i mentioned how much i hate this? cause i really do #period problems #jo says stuff #personal ramblings

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natjennie · 4 months

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can anyone explain to me why im apparently on my period right now?

#i have pcos so usually. with no medical intervention. i just dont have one #i had some occasional heavy ones when i was like 14/15 and then it just stopped #and then ive been on birth control #but a mixed progesterone one #because the estrogen ones make me nauseous as hell #so ive been on that which doesnt have a skip week for your period because it just doesnt do anything #but im really bad at remember to take my meds #so i take it for like a week and then dont for a while and then take it and then dont #and it doesnt make me have a period.#but today??#ive been experimenting with taking my meds at night to see if i remember better #but havent for like 3 or 4 days #is there something about taking it at night that makes it work. better. different.??#anyway im sick i slept like shit im apparently on my period #life is hell

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theygender · 1 year

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Me: idk... maybe I don't want a hysterectomy. it seems like the recovery would really suck... maybe keeping my uterus... isn't as bad in comparison?

My uterus: aww, thank you 🥰🤗❤️✨

My uterus: THOUSAND LIGHTNING BOLTS BLAST

#endometriosis #youre really not helping your case here bud #i just got hit with a wave of cramps so bad that i literally almost screamed out loud #i had to physically stop myself bc its quiet hours at my apartment and i dont want someone to think im being murdered #4-8 weeks of recovering with open wounds in my abdomen... vs ~30 more years of living with endo pain and sickness #neither one of those sound good. but at least hysto recovery would have a definite ending?#but it would hurt a lot and i would be fully out of commission for a while #but endo hurts too and already puts me out of commission frequently?#ughhhh idk #but the pills didnt help and the shot isnt helping #this is my third dose and im currently on a period that has lasted a full month so far 🙃 and still going #rambling #menstruation mention

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kkujo · 6 months

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also idk i feel so fucking good abt myself idk genuinely being consistent with my gym routine has done everything for my mental health and confidence like i still feel bad abt myself sometimes but for the first time since i was probably 9 i'm having days where i look in the mirror and thinking DAMN i look good and those days are getting more frequent it's really the best feeling

#and it's not just the weight loss like. being overweight was such a struggle for me esp bc i've had issues w eds and stuff and.#idk it made me miserable. and i wasn't the healthiest bc i'd gained a lot due to pcos and my periods were irregular etc like it wasn't good #and now i'm medicated and fuck man my period is regular now and my weight is more normal and i just feel like. good abt that #bc i spent so long being unable to lose bc of my hormones and it was so disheartening bc i was doing everything 'right'#i feel a little bad talking abt it bc ik it's a sensitive topic and i have had issues w eds i obv don't think weighing less makes u healthy #etc etc. for me it was the healthy thing to lose what i've lost so i'm proud of that and i did all of that mostly without relapsing #over 2 years and i've had like. maybe a month of relapse total over that time and each time i've come out of it after a week or two #so i'm definitely stronger mentally etc BUT. my point is. the confidence hasn't come from trying to be smaller #and now i'm actively trying to build muscle and for the first time ever my confidence comes from looking BIGGER bc i want muscle growth etc #the confidence truly comes from within and when i was overweight i started to give myself that confidence #by starting to wear cute clothes and stop hiding my body #it is so true that losing weight won't make you like yourself or your body.#like. you can lose weight if you want but you HAVE to respect yourself first. i lost a lot of weight unhealthily in 2019 and regained it #& bc i did it out of self hatred i NEVER felt better abt myself when i got smaller. you rlly have to be able to love yourself as you are rn #it's cliche but very very true #anyway i don't rlly talk abt this stuff on here bc ik it's a sensitive topic but!!!#i really would recommend weightlifting and strength training if you wanna feel more confident #ik it won't work for everyone but for me it's genuinely transformed the way i see myself.#i no longer try to force myself to be as small as possible. and for me that's everything yk #ALSO LIKE. THE MENTAL HEALTH ASPECTS. just having the routine and getting exercise and getting out every day rlly helps too #i really would recommend it i've never felt better or more confident abt myself #the only thing is unfortunately and it's a very real problem but gym/gym bro culture often leans v close to e/d culture #it really sucks bc a lot of gym folks genuinely do love it and are very healthy with it #but the chicken and rice gym bro types are pretty rampant too and there's a LOT of dysmorphia and such in the community #so i kind of avoid gym bro circles for that reason bc i do think a lot of people take it too far and are very mentally unhealthy with it #but weightlifting/going gym in itself isn't the problem and if you're eating properly & taking care of yourself it's not gonna be like that #it's just knowing the types of ppl to avoid bc a lot of the mindset is pretty toxic 😭😭 but there are def a lot of ppl who do it healthily #like. i understand why people do it but i'm kind of against bulking/cutting at least for myself #bc for me it's not abt looking as strong as possible it's abt being fit and healthy physically & mentally if i look buff asf that's a bonus #but a lot of ppl take bulks/cuts too far & a lot of it is just regurgitated e/d shit unfortunately. just b careful who you interact with

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