#had me almost sobbing at work | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cokowiii · 1 year

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:) o7

#i had to #cass i love ur comic so much #cass apocalyptic series #rottmnt fanart #rottmnt #drawing #sketch #doodle #tmnt #save rottmnt #small artist #unpause rottmnt #this broke me ngl #had me almost sobbing at work

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solaestial · 3 months

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i made some of my chrissell pics into wallpaper engine wallpapers 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️

#end roll #russell seager #chris (end roll)#chrissell #for my enjoyment mainly BC I LIKE BEING EXTRA #but esp after i've done multiple now i figure it wouldn't hurt to share them 👀#wallpaper engine is $4 on steam so it isn't free #but personally honestly it's one of the best purchases i've ever made. as someone who likes being extra #highly recommend even for just general aesthetic wallpapers #and you can do stuff like this 😌#the other chrissell one i did a while ago and had as my wallpaper until now #but i uh. accidentally lost all the hair movement i did when going back to add toggles the other day. i may have almost cried #so i had to redo that part entirely sob #but it's better now AT LEAST EITHER WAY . I THINK—#hopefully that one works btw bc it still won't appear in the search for me after a whole day 💀

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sehtoast · 8 months

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me: MY HAIRLINE IS RECEDING OH NO OH FUCK

also me: full time student (worth noting i wrote stupid here at first without realizing), 20-30 hours in customer service every week, teaching myself 3/4 classes, teaching myself advanced algebra with a teacher (basically just a proctor) who shuts down any/all asks for help, juggling college financial woes, navigating dying relationships/people abandoning and/or attacking me bc i don't have time for things i used to anymore, none of my hobbies are making me happy when and if i have time for them,, i have no time for myself, i'm on my second all-nighter this week, i'm perpetually exhausted in a way sleep isn't fixing, my body aches because i'm so tired, and i'm barely able to stay asleep when i do get the chance bc the anxiety wakes me up

my hairline: two hops this time!

#i'm so stressed man #sehtoast rambles #sehtoast vents? fuck if i know #i just feel like i can't get ahead #i used to be able to get all my shit done by friday and have the bulk of the weekend to myself #but that's not doable at all this term #i just had a whole ass mental breakdown over fucking homework #like i'm almost grateful T made it near impossible for me to cry bc like #i was going to have a whole sobbing crying breakdown and at least i only had to feel the mental and physical anguish of it instead #it's 3am and i just made coffee so i can do the rest of my work #luckily the last two are super little in comparison but #i can't keep doing 30 pages of notes with 10 pages of homework and a 40 question 'quiz' for math #on top of making like 7 excel spreadsheets a week #not including the 50 page readings for management plus the 50 questions that follow and the writing assignments #i'm so glad my ids class is easy. dr s is my personal jesus christ for being so gentle with her students #idk i'm just... really not doin well rn #at all #idk if anyone read this far in #if you did ily and appreciate you

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lovaboy · 3 months

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new new laptop is supposed to be here tomorrowww :3c

#FINALLY. now i can make gifs and blinkies in the living room after work during tv time #my laptop is almost ten years old and has been largely inoperable outside of youtube for the last... three?#but the first one i ordered was faulty and wouldn't stay connected to the internet so i had to take it back T_T #this one was twice the price BUT better in every conceivable way so. slapped that bitch on the credit card #i miss having a laptop so bad sob it's just been me and my ipad against the world for too long #jess.txt

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feeling-kinda-sad-ngl · 2 months

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got scammed at work guys!! my top surgery savings (the one time ive actually been consistent with it!!) are gone :'p

#it was 400 dollars whoch i guess isnt huge but still. i have 5 dollars to my name rn #had a whole breakdown at work #that hasnt happened since like 2-3 years ago AND EVEN THEN it was in the bathroom in private but nope #i had 3 other managers w me in that room while i just sobbed and kept saying sorry and it was my fault #it was 400 from my money and then it was 900 from the company (my dad paid it back right away and i wasnt fired or suspended (to my #knowledge at least....) but yeah very embarrassing and i almost had a full on anxiety attack lol fun times #(i am trying to cope with humor so i dont give in and slice up my everything)#des is tired

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memes-saved-me · 2 years

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I still can't believe I got to thank Dacre to his face for what he did with Billy. I looked him right in the eyes and thanked him for everything and told him that it means a lot. Even if he forgot about it 3 seconds later, I don't care because I actually got to thank him for something he has no idea helped me so much

#i remember walking away completely fine #then i got to the back room to put my picture away and almost sobbed #i had to calm down and go back to work lol #but that moment of it hitting me that I finally got to do that #I'll never forget it

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oh-hamlet · 6 months

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finally hit hell bent on my capaldi rewatch. I'm in bits.

#that episode had no right to turn me into a weeping 13 year old like it was nothing #I haven't rewatched s9 in an age but I honestly thought I was more stoic than this 😭#twelveclara exposure therapy via fandom clearly doesn't work #need the real thing #(I remember so clearly when this episode aired I had a sleepover at a friend's house to watch it #and me her and her little brother all sobbed #her mam must have been so concerned LOL)#I almost never cry at media so I wasn't expecting to on this rewatch #but man it was like a switch flipped #that capaldi coleman chemistry don't pull any punches.....#I honestly can't believe moffat just wrote that #like that is a crazy thing to do with doctor who #and in general #but specifically with doctor who #what the hell 💀#🥺

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this-doesnt-endd · 9 months

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I still find it kinda wild that after 1 psych eval they immediently put me on antipsychotics

#i mean it was in the right direction but not the right answer #we good now tho we on the two in one epilepsy mood stabalizers ayye #i will say tho i got put on keppra for my seizures and i cant imagine being on that long term #if i stayed on it any longer than i did i prolly woulda been in the er simply cause i couldnt eat and was near passing out at every moment #but if i didnt have that i woulda been in jail #i was so fucking mad and angry all the time i thankfully was able to keep it in but oh my god #never in my life had i wanted to throw chairs at people SO bad #my mom would ask if i had found a pair of socks and it took all that was in me to not scream and throw my socks across the room #and then i got so so sad oh my god #cause i ended up taking two tweeks off work to get off it and get on a new one and i went up to see my dad #so i was on the train sobbbing my eyes out for no reason #or like a day or two after i got there we drove up into maryland to go to costco it was prolly hour 30 hour 45 #and my dad turned to look at me and my brain decided he did it wrong #i sobbed the entire way home and we had to stop at harbor freight and i cried even more #and he felt so bad and was like we can get dinner u want pizza we'll get pizza if u want and we almost couldnt find the dominos #and it almost made me worse i cried for like a solid 2 hrs and half of it was cause i was so upset abd angry that i was crying #when i didnt want to which made me cry more #god keppra is fucking evil #if it helps you of course ya got the good part but damn id never felt like that on any other med

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non-un-topo · 11 months

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When you get hit by a random powerful wave of nostalgia for like your first fandom ever

#brb gonna rewatch all of teen titans (after i do work for 7 hours sob)#my brain today is like: yo. you should draw a modern redesign of joey #because besides beast boy (ofc - BEST boy) he's my favourite character and so underrated #disabled icon?? who is also kind of traumatized and caught between good and evil?? the son of a villain?? why does no one remember jericho #like?? does anyone remember him??? hello??#sometimes teen titans comes back and hits me in the face y'know. happens a lot.#i had to take out my 18 year old beast boy figure for emotional support after writing this asdfgfdfs #do it for her - except it's a plastic beast boy from 2005 with chewed bits #also 18??????? years old???????????#one time i left him out in the sun and he started to bend like jelly bc he almost melted and that was my first panic attack #i thought he was gonna DIE and i was prepared to go with him #my asshole friend at the time also pulled his hand off (it does not naturally come off) and my nana hot glued it #- second panic attack right there.#i do not have a jericho action figure unfortunately. i don't think they ever made them. BUT i did make a doll of him myself.#the 7 year old beast boy fan to genderqueer adult pipeline is STRONG.

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jvzebel-x · 1 year

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🦋

#!!!#I HAVE A LAPTOP!!!#its pink!!! it works!!! it has microsoft word!!! its new!!! im going to sob!!!#i am. so happy lol. &sooooo incredibly terrified of breaking it like im posting this on my phone #bc i dont want to tempt the tech gods. maybe i can just. slide under their notice.#i am. so happy. this is the first time i havent had to wrestle w microsoft word in literally years. i keep all my saved drafts in #gmail drafts for easy access&orginization.#i have had two seperate laptops that just. wouldnt register my ms office code to download it or stopped allowing me access AFTER i used it #to copy over&edit my drafts.#i am almost terrified to think that this is something that wont randomly disappear lmao i keep having crazy #intrusive thoughts about breaking it in a million different ways lmao im fucking insane.#but i can write long form w/o scrolling thru a cracked phone screen again lmaoooo!!!#... god i am so terrified im going to fucking break it lmao.

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evils-corner · 2 years

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I think the stress of moving and dealing with medical bills and packing and money and everything is really getting to me and making me very emotionally volatile lately.

#evil's stupid life #don't mind me #I almost started sobbing at work over a very small fleeting thought I had #and I'm grumpy and tired and really really don't wanna do this shit anymore #tbh I'm also just sick of this job and this place but I need the money right now SO here I will stay #floral is nice but I'm just exhausted

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canisonicscrewyou · 2 years

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sorry it wasn’t very I-don’t-dream-of-labor of me to cry about how I don’t feel like I’m good at my job and the repercussions of that

#there are good and bad parts of working at st*****ks but like #I was SUCH a good barista. I was the BEST barista at my store (and heard it from others too)#and I feel like I am. by far. the weakest out of all four shift leads at my store #anyways I forgor to submit the food count tonight and had a breakdown about it and sobbed for a bit #I LOVE closing genuinely. adore it. I love cleaning I love stocking I love setting the morning up right #but everyone at my store is incredibly hard on each other for better or for worse #and I just. I feel like I can’t fucking win. and I feel like at this store they just assume that if you’re not good you’re not trying #but like. I’m trying SO HARD. there’s never a day I don’t go home and think about what could’ve been done better.#I hated my old store so genuinely at the time but I almost wish I stayed. oh well.#now I’m here and I move soon anyways #one of my coworkers is very nice though. genuinely so supportive and kind and I think he’s going to do soso well as a shift / manager #I’d be a lot more… bad if he wasn’t here and also new and vented with me #and the only other really supportive one is gone to become a SM (good for them but pls—)#anyways. now I’m here. and I know that I transfer in a few months.

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miss-anthropyxx · 3 months

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casually spiraling and dont think there's anything i can do about it at this point anymore. i wanna just give up and let myself spiral.

#something something alcohol disclaimer #what is it about depression that has a siren call no matter how well you're doing. why would i ever think it's more comfortable and safe...#been in denial for a bit now; thinking that even if i was sad i was at least dealing wtih it better than i would have in years past #that i'm just normal sad - normal ups and downs. that i was in 'control' and wouldn't fall as Low™️ as being more than 'normal sad' again #i know where things changed for me back in feb and i've been trying to 'get back to myself' since then but i keep falling flat #i've been so terrified of going back to who i was before i was doing so well and yet i feel like it's happening #i'd never done so well for so long and thought i was somewhat safe #thought i had more awareness and coping mechanisms to handle inevitable sad times in life #but almost half the year is passed now and everything is one step forward and either one or two steps back #i'm trying so hard all the time. i work hard at myself #and for what? just to get to many more nights like this where i feel like i'm not trying at all and want to let myself rot?#like the garbage i feel like i am?#i'm either spinning my wheels or getting worse. and i feel like thinking that itself is a bad sign and is hould be fighting that thought.#but it's an observation...#sometimes it's so relieving to just give up #my heart hurts and i keep getting teh anxiety tummy of constant butterflies/the sensation of zero g #every minor thing feels like the end of the world #i want to sob and drink and cvt/burn and shop and smoke weed and drive 100 mph and eat an #anyway thanks for coming to my emotional rampage if you've read this far lolz uwu #*throws self into kink for psychologically relevant catharsis & comfort*#personal

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thethingything · 3 months

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I'm really torn over how to feel about a bunch of stuff. on the one hand the oral surgeon was really friendly and is the only medical professional who's ever said "so what type of EDS do you have?" because he wanted to check how it'd impact some stuff, meanwhile we usually have to explain what EDS even is. he seemed pretty familiar with it and also checked what meds we're okay with and said the reaction we had to clarithromycin recently is why it's not typically prescribed for adults anymore. all that stuff made me feel pretty confident about things going alright.

and then sedation and general anaesthetic got brought up, and medical bills got brought up, and we had a panic attack and took multiple attempts to try and ask one question because we couldn't phrase it in a way that made sense, and then we asked some other stuff and ended up panicking even more and just sitting there crying and he made a comment that I think was meant to be reassuring but mostly just made it seem like he really doesn't get what we're so freaked out about, and now our brain has gone from "I'm mostly just deeply uncomfortable with the concept of sedation" to "I absolutely do not want to be uncoscious around medical professionals at all" and I do not fucking know what to do about this.

I keep trying to distract myself. our brain keeps bringing this shit up again regardless and then I have a panic attack on the spot. I've lost track of both how many panic attacks I've had today, and how many times I've almost thrown up, but both thing happened several times in the car and then happened again while we were getting showered.

I already wasn't sure how the fuck we're going to handle this, but now I feel significantly worse about it because I've mostly just gotten confirmation that the stuff I find most distressing about the situation is not only unavoidable, but also definitely going to be worse than I'd registered until now

#personal #thoughts #🍬 post #vent post #emetophobia tw #the thing with being scared of being unconscious around medical professionals isn't a new thing #it's a fear we've had for a long time #but I wasn't doing too badly with it until it felt like the guy couldn't grasp what I was so distressed over #and was like ''no you have to deal with [thing I was sobbing and hyperventilating over so badly I couldn't talk]''#we have a huge phobia of cannulas. it goes along with our needle phobia but these are the absolute worst #and I was like ''would it be at all possible to remove it before I wake up or right afterwards because I cannot cope with this at all''#and I understand why it's standard policy to not remove it until you're about to leave #but I can't stress enough how much this is something I absolutely cannot cope with at all #this is the reason I've almost thrown up so many times today. I keep getting flashbacks to a previous surgery we had years ago #and that includes somatic flashbacks to having a cannula in our hand and every single time we get a flashback #I start dry heaving and panicking. so yeah this is not going to work. like it just fucking isn't #I don't care if ''it makes it easier to administer emergency medications if you end up needing them''#surely there's a consent form or some shit I can sign saying I'm willing to take that risk and not fucking deal with this shit #everything else about this is extremely distressing but not having to deal with this one trigger would help immensely #so yeah now our brain is in ''these people won't listen to me and are forcing me into a distressing situation so I feel unsafe'' mode #and that's triggered the fear of being unconscious around medical professionals and now everything is so much worse

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spaceacerat · 4 months

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Remembering that time back when I was working a few years ago when I was getting set up to do a bunch of work (laundry because laundromat) as all the other employees got ready to leave (who tf thought I needed to work evening/night shift alone every night), was counting the register, finishing up with that, when my boss just leaned over my shoulder where I was sitting and placed something in my hand.

It was a little superman pill. My first thought was vitamins. Asked her why she was giving me vitamins. She looked at me like I was the crazy one, and went "Oh no, that's ecstasy. Don't tell my husband ;) we have so many for this weekend but I thought you might like some :) if you want any other drugs, just let me know!"

Ma'am. I know you and your husband did every substance you could get your hands on, but. What the Fuck.

#Drug mention #Small town laundromats man...#So much shit happened there. How I worked there for almost a year #I have no clue. Constant vigilance #I wasn't supposed to but I'd let homeless people chill or sleep in there and I'd give them some of my lunch or money for cigs/booze #They never threatened me like my manager claimed they would try #and would try to help me with taking the garbage out #I became pretty good friends with one of them and he let me ride his bike with him to the store I'd otherwise have to walk through a big #Empty dimly lit parking lot to get to. We went in together and he helped me pick out a food processor. I got him something to eat for dinner #The people I met there were usually off the walls but so was I. Only had two real problem customers and they were snooty rich people #I'm rambling but. Yeah #Sometimes love is the sweet older lady who comes out and sits with you while you wait for your ride till 12AM #After some creeps try to lure you into their car and drive away #Sometimes love is the kindness of a stranger watching me sob in the office because I had no way home and he was a father with his kids #Who saw someone afraid and distressed. And offered me a ride home AND got me something to eat

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allthatdivides2 · 4 months

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my brain telling me to go back to reading reddie fic 24/7 by making me dream about them last night

#it was taking me forever to fall asleep and then as im FINALLY drifting off i start getting this fucking incredible richie based narration #and im like i should write this shit down. but i dont want to fuck up my sleep. whatever im just gonna enjoy it #and then it was awesome.#eddie had to go in this house for something (it was his house but it wasnt his house like in the movies it had a back porch with a sliding #door and he had a dad and a brother and a big dog instead of his mom. the losers were waiting on the porch cause they couldnt go in. richie #tried to go in with him but his dad fucking HATES richie so he went outside to make it easier for eddie. problem is ITs in the fucking house #so the losers are outside and yeah theyre hearing yelling and shit but they expected that cause eddie fights with his dad all the time.#theyre chatting and shit but richie is being... strangely quiet. because hes working on this thing hes been working on for WEEKS now. its a #drawing of eddie and a poem about him. and hes super embarrassed about it but one night he couldnt sleep and he started it and now he Needs #to finish it. meanwhile eddies in the house and he doesnt immediately know ITs there. his dad is being shittier than usual even though hes #just trying to stock up some stuff from the medicine cabinet but hes like whatever im in and im out. but then his dad starts talking about #shit he shouldnt know about. like REALLY shouldnt know about. and eddie turns and his dad is much taller than he should be. and his head is #shaped weird. and all of a sudden ''hello eddie''. and eddies screaming and trying to get out and finally the losers figure out that #somethings wrong but the doors locked so they cant get in and richies about to break the fucking glass door when eddie comes barreling out #directly into him and they land in a heap on the ground. pennywise waves at them from the door and disappears and eddie is just sobbing into #richies chest curled up smaller than theyve ever seen him. richies so concerned with comforting eddie that he doesnt realize his papers just #lying out on the ground next to him. and nobody says anything because theyre having a Moment but as eddie calms down and starts talking to #richie almost like normal even though hes still clinging onto him and sitting in his lap his eyes flick over to the paper and richie about #jumps out of his skin to grab it but the damage is done eddie saw the drawing at least. and i dont remember as much of this part of the #dream but i know there was a quiet confession and they hug and its very fucking sweet and just. AUGH!!!!!

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