#had to draw stuff for the sake of drawing stuff. i feel better about my art now

[3-inch-doodles]

oh shit i arted aahhh scary

[heraxic]

Hello :o

I just wanted to say thank you (and also thank crumb) for getting me back into thinking about Karl Heisenberg 24/7.

I really love your artstyle, from the amazing expressions (especially the peeved/angry ones) to the scribbly lineart. As someone that’s trying to learn to draw more digitally, I really like to observe your stuff o.o

Your Moldy Family comics are funny, cozy, sweet and comforting all at the same time, and they made me discover and appreciate Eveline (oh man I love how much of a goth tween she is), and the way you draw Heisenberg (his physicality if that makes sense, his clothes, his hair, his everything) is just *chef’s kiss*.

As a former Greek Mythology child, that AU is so so nice owagh. I love all the monster adaptations/designs, it’s all so clever: I love that Kyril is scaley, hairy AND has wings (which I feel aren’t depicted often nowadays with gorgons), Alina is so majestic, with the black tipped limbs and the blood soaked dress, and the daughters being harpies/sirens(?) is also so perfect.

Idk if you’ve already said it, but what is it about Karl’s character that made him interesting to you?

I hope it makes sense (I’m a bit tired) and thank you again for the excellent food :]

Thank you so much!!!<<<3333

he lives in my head rent free…. his crusty-ass hair and barrel-shaped bod gets me every time

im glad you like my scribbly lineart! I tend to get concerned whether it really looks like anything haha

I miss drawing the mold family but i think my forte has always been fantasy, especially cause i love mythology more than anything. That’s not to say i wont go back to the modern mold family though

For greek au karl i wanted him to look like someone had haphazardly stuck animal parts to him so it’d look deliberately unnatural for him to have a relatively normal human body under all that-

I’m not sure i can fully describe why Karl is so interesting. Surface level, being voiced by Neil Newbon is always a big plus and his face model Joel Hicks is awesome-looking. His character design matches his abilities and personality really well, and speaking of personality, queer-coded villains who make a big show out of everything are always going to be my favourite. His gritty, masculine aesthetic is really inspiring in terms of gender as well. On a deeper level, in spite of all the terrible things he’s done, i find him sympathetic and relatable. After decades spent in a highly dysfunctional family, not living on his own terms, completely alone, I need him to finally be okay and get better for his own sake, with the support of people he trusts. It’s the same reason i love Eveline. Morally dark-grey characters who deserved better and could’ve gotten better with a good support system.

[cowboys-tshot]

EDIT: DO NOT TAKE MY WORD AS THE 100% TRUTH!!

I took some classes and wrote a paper about ancient Greek culture, but I am in NO WAY an expert. Please read through the reblogs to see some good criticisms and discussion about this topic further. My point overall stands that you can't apply modern rules and standards to ancient stories, but my evidence is undoubtedly flawed!

I'm seeing everyone pointing out the possible issues with Epic the Musical's deviation from the original story of Circe and Odysseus, and as someone who's studied Ancient Greece/ancient Greek myths a bit, I wanted to say some stuff about it. This will be a bit of a long one, so apologies for my rambling!

Note that I'm not trying to shit on SA survivor's perspectives and (completely valid) arguments. I'm just trying to offer some context surrounding the original myth and how it fits (or rather, doesn't fit) with a modern audience. If I'm wrong with any of this, feel free to call me out! Criticize the shit out of me! I like learning about Greek culture and myths and would 100% love to hear other perspectives on this.

So, a few points about Ancient Greek myths to kind of explain the context around Circe and Odysseus:

Greek myths generally did not have good views/depictions of women. Women were almost always depicted as conniving, selfish, sexually insatiable creatures. To largely summarize the process within actual Greek society, women had three/four stages in their life: child, dangerous/wild virgin (after first menstruation), married woman (whose wildness was tamed by her husband), and then a "real" woman (a mother). There are a few deviations from the "evil" trope, the most prominent of which being Penelope herself—she's basically the ideal Greek wife, staying loyal to her husband for 20 years and all that.

Adultery only applied to women. Husbands cheating on their wives wasn't merely tolerated, but expected. Marital sex wasn't seen as enjoyable, rather something that had to be done for the sake of reproduction and continuing the bloodline/securing inheritance. Men cheated on their wives with various kinds of prostitutes, concubines, mistresses, etc, but sleeping with unmarried women (that weren't specifically prostitutes) or married women was looked down upon. Women didn't have this same standard. They could only sleep with their husbands, hell, their husbands were pretty much the only men they could even interact with (excluding family, obviously).

The original myth has Hermes very plainly lay out how Odysseus' confrontation with Circe will go: Odysseus will eat the moly, draw his sword at her, she'll proposition him, and Hermes directly tells Odysseus to accept. Basically a "sleep with her if you want your men to live" situation. (See this post for more specifics on this).

So, let's apply this to Epic: The Musical. Here's some reasons I think may explain the Circe myth being changed:

The Greek "women being evil" stereotype is... problematic. While I 100% understand that it's important to acknowledge male victims of SA, I don't think the original myth was focusing on Odysseus being a victim—I saw it more of an emphasis on Circe being a sexually selfish woman, as all Greek women were believed to be. Changing Circe to be less conniving and evil deviates from the concerning Greek stereotype.

The SA in the myth is not actually very clearly SA. Yes, with a modern perspective, it absolutely is sexual coercion, but for Greeks, not so much. It made sense to them that sex could be transactional. It's already been established that Epic, while still generally accurate to the original myth, does change things relating to morality/themes in order to better align with modern Western ideas (i.e. OG Odysseus not being as remorseful and merciful, as that was expected of a Greek hero, but Epic Odysseus having more empathy because that's more modernly heroic). If something from the original myth doesn't translate well into modern culture, then it's understandable to want to change or omit it.

In the case that the original Circe myth wasn't SA (I'm not saying one is more right than the other, I'm just covering all the bases), then it wouldn't even constitute as cheating. Like I described earlier, it was perfectly acceptable and expected for men to sleep with women that weren't their wives. Plus, being a goddess, she's already kinda exempt from being blamed if Odysseus slept with her—only women are ever really blamed for sleeping with (or being SAed by) gods, and even then, their husbands sometimes don't even give a shit. But modernly, we would not see it that way. To us, it's not societally acceptable for a married man to sleep with another woman (without his wife's consent, at least). While Ancient Greeks viewed Odysseus as a good (or at least okay) husband, a modern audience wouldn't. Making Odysseus loyal to Penelope and not sleeping with other women (assuming this wasn't SA, but again that's one interpretation) makes him the good, loyal, empathic, modernly heroic man that Epic is clearly aiming for. Repeating my last point: If something from the original myth doesn't translate well into modern culture, then it's understandable to want to change or omit it.

Applying modern perspectives on Ancient Greek society and mythology isn't worth it. Like, we all joke about Ancient Greece being super gay, but they didn't actually like gay men. Homosexuality was literally only acceptable when it was between a young man and a prepubescent boy (it was called pederasty if you want to know more) or between women (they only considered penetrative sex to be 'real' sex so they didn't really care what women did with other women). Y'know the Hades and Persephone story? Like, the original one with the kidnapping? Yeah, that was normal. The myth of Demeter and Persephone is tragic, yes, but it was so normal that wedding ceremonies often included references/recreations of it! Girls got married off ASAP after their first menstruation to men of at least 30 years old. We don't tolerate that shit today (for the most part, at least)! But it was normal in Ancient Greece. Applying modern rules and standards to ancient culture just does not work.

Anyways, I'll shut up now! I'm gonna go keep listening to The Circe Saga lmao

[mauesartetc]

A while back I got a comment that demonstrated a misconception as to what the character design process actually entails, and I thought it had real "teachable moment" potential. So let me make this perfectly clear:

Drawing a character is NOT the same as designing one.

Let's say I wanted to draw a guy. No backstory, no defined personality traits or preferences, no details about his current life, just doodling some random, generic guy who popped into my head.

That's just a drawing.

But what if I decided to flesh him out more? What if I wanted his appearance to reflect his lifestyle and inner life as well? Here's where the note-taking comes in.

And now for the visual research:

I thought the bodybuilding angle would provide a fun contrast with this guy's profession. The mental image of a huge, burly dude working on a clock or watch with tiny, precise movements just makes me smile. Perhaps I could give him small, nimble hands that would suit his line of work.

Now that I have a better idea of how Mikhail's face and body will look, it's time to establish a pose.

Of course, I never expected to employ all the personality traits I started out with inside this single pose; those were just a jumping-off point. No one drawing will ever be able to encapsulate every single facet of a character, unless they're extraordinarily flat and generic (see also: random guy I doodled at the start of this post). If I wanted to write a story with this guy, I'd have to figure out how all the traits play off each other and how they'd cause him to react to different situations. There would be a lot more note-taking and development involved, but for the sake of keeping this post (somewhat) brief, let's just focus on visuals for now.

On to color!

I decided to give Mikhail a carnation in his pocket (for its round shape), specifically a red one, which represents deep love and an aching heart. Thus, the flower needed to maintain its red color for the symbolism to come through.

For some reason I initially pictured this guy wearing a pink shirt (perhaps as an offshoot of the "romantic" angle), but I wanted to try some different colors inspired by the 70s catalog pages I found. I ended up really liking the contrast of the cool blue shirt with the warm red pants, and that option made it into my top three as a result. I lined them up next to each other to compare them, and in the end, blue won out over pink. I think it also reflects the "colder", more cerebral, less-emotional parts of his personality well (namely "systematic", "stern", and "callous"- one from each column!). Just goes to show that you shouldn't get too attached to your first draft, as better ideas are just around the corner.

I then lightened the blue of the shirt so it wouldn't compete so much with the rest of the outfit, and wouldn't be quite as loud and "in your face". Mikhail strikes me as a bit of an introvert, so the calmer, quieter blue is a better fit. I added a darker belt and watchband and de-saturated the flower just a bit to make the values feel more balanced, and I think we've got it!

Let's see the final result!

Y'all, I was not expecting this process to make me emotional, but there's something special about fully realizing a little guy you've spent hours working on. All of a sudden you look at him and go, "Oh my god, there he is. That's him." This man wasn't even a twinkle in my eye a couple weeks ago and now I'd protect him with my life.

And the thing is, the only reason I'm calling this design "done" for now is that I basically just brought it into existence to make a point. But if this dude were attached to a larger story, he'd be nowhere near finished. I'd have to make a ton more iterations and go a lot more in depth with my research than I did (especially with the Armenian cultural stuff). Overall, though, I hope this quick project properly highlighted the difference between a single drawing and a more fleshed-out character.

Later!

[ronkeyroo]

A positive Update

Friends, kind folk - Hello Again 🤍

Ever since my last update post, I've been thinking about it , a lot ;; I knew I needed time to cook and reflect, and im so glad I gave myself that...

2024 started rough for me; I fell severely ill again - I was too busy cursing my life and dwelling over how betrayed I felt by things still not getting better despite my efforts that I didn't realize I was walking into a self fulfilling prophecy. Its true that the struggles I'm going through are yet to be solved, that its gotten so much to the point giving up seemed easier, and that a couple individuals haven't been making it easier on me either; I swayed and i rattled and I steered within feelings ranging from confusion to anger to dismay and all of this back and forth did nothing but remind me of yet another self-destructive loop I just don't want to allow in my life anymore. Its exactly the kinda stuff that made me ill to begin with, and I've been so lost dealing with everything in between that i forgot to tend to the actual core centering all of this...

It grew unbearable how much emotional and physical turmoil I was pushing myself into, and knowing how intertwined these two elements have been; I had to draw a line before i majorly screwed myself over, gathering any bit of inner will to discipline myself back into some sort of clarity, enough to at least look through a lens OUTSIDE my pain for once, towards the kind of life I want to lead, and the kind of life I don't; and I came to an understanding.

From my physical state to my mental, to the people and memories I've experienced, both the good and the bad - I want to prioritize the good.

Not in a shitty ass, toxic optimism kinda way but in a "I want to prioritize knowing and living the possibility that even when it hurts, even when i want to be gone, even when life doesn't align - There's still every good reason in the world to keep moving forward, to face things from a perspective of growth & compassion, and to grow to love the promise of a better tomorrow even when today was unbearable." To know that I don't end or begin in my suffering, that the infinite potential I speak so fondly of applies to me, as well...

I want to be able to wield and create and share that goodness, too, Especially when it is already in decline...And for all gods sake, to internalize that all of this STILL exists and STILL matters even when it doesn't work the first couple or dozens of times.

As for my place here in Tumblr...I know the sentiment might feel silly to some but the experiences, memories, and connections I've made here have truly been such a significant force in my life, and i don't want to give up on that ;; Not because of my own insecurities, or an inner state of hopelessness, and especially not over a bunch of emotionally immature Anons that dont know how to handle themselves; I want to forgive all of that.

I'm stubborn, and there's an unyielding force within me that no matter how many times it is struck down, it proved itself ridiculously resilient. I'm perking up with with a fiery confidence realizing just how many times it rose back up, enough to realize it is an unchangeable part of me ;_; I shouldn't underestimate that force, and I want to keep living by its side. Whatever positive change I can sprinkle onto my life and the lives of those I care for, I will! And the reason why this space in particular is so important to me, is because so much of that already exists here, alongside you folks;

THAT'S the kind of energy i want to nourish and walk into the new year with! I want to continue growing as a person, challenging my inner turmoils, undoing the self punishing dogmas that still haunt me, stop flexing my teeth over things that don't deserve my time and god DAMN, just - indulge in the stuff that makes me happy, even when I'm going through unhappy times.

So yeah...I guess that means, I'm back & I'm staying ;_;)🧡

I know i may seem like a broken record when it comes to expressing gratitude but - Thank you, thank you thank you everyone who have reached out for me, who so fondly kept me in their thoughts and kept encouraging me whenever i was hurting, both then and now...You folks mean more than whatever ailment or struggle I can go through, and while I'm unsure of how the future will look like as I'm still going through various challenges- I couldn't have asked for a cooler, sweeter audience to have by my side whenever Its time to take a rest or hype over our sexy delicious blorbos!

Speaking of which....................I have been cooking quite a lot of things in the time i was away 👀✨ I most definitely intend to serve them, eheheh

[nicodrawings]

Dump time featuring Billie Morales aka Silly Billie

Update 2: oh! Also the first two illustrations are based on Yotsuba art!

Update: ok HC time, if you wanna know more keep reading as usual.

BILLIE SECTION

-I made Billie 5 years old.

-I’ve mentioned this before but Billie has Asperger’s.

-She didn’t talk until she was like 3 going on 4.

-Her nickname is "silly billy"

-Miles always says "how's my favorite girl in the whole wide world?" when he comes home from school on the weekends.

-Miles is a doting big brother and helps take care of her as well as connecting with her interests.

-As much as she loves her parents, she thinks the world of Miles. She's up under him the most, especially when she's over stimulated, stressed or sleepy. His heartbeat calms her.

-She has a limit to physical contact and taps when she’s ready to let go. She usually only hugs her family. Her and Ganke do hand touches instead of hugs.

-The family helps her navigate her environment and her emotions as well as socializing but never push anything that makes her uncomfortable. They always ask questions and have special routines to help her.

-A part of her routine is on Saturdays they go to the park so she can see the pigeons.

-Miles does not like pigeons, but tolerates them for Billies sake.

-They also have special songs for her like "🎶when you walk across the street take ur eyes off your feet🎶" to remind her to look both ways and pay attention when walking across the street since she can get distracted easily.

-The songs they use also attach her to music. So whenever they go to ganke he plays the piano for her and they make songs up and when she hears a song she likes she starts stimming and wiggling.

-She also takes interest in drawing because she sees Miles drawing and they draw animals and watch Steve Irwin on Saturdays too.

-She doesn't understand figure of speeches so if you say "don't sweat it" she would be like "...sweat what?"

-she doesn’t show a lot of emotions unless she’s feeling something intense.

-She rarely sees Miles in superhero mode in public but when she does she just goes “SPIDER!” and smiles and he waves at her.

-Moral of this story, she is loved.

HOBIE

-He lives with his grandparents in the Bronx area (I’m not sure which side yet tho).

-He loves his grandparents very much.

-One time at a punk rock concert a wise man told him “the most punk thing to do is to take care of yourself, don’t be reliant on the system to do so, cuz they ain’t”

-He told his grandpa the following day and they had a heart to heart about it considering that Hobie was very depressed at the time.

-So with that being said, health is incredibly important to him.

-Some ppl tease him and call him “straight-edge” but it don’t bother him much.

-Hobie officially meets the other spiders when he’s 16.

-Clicks with Gwen and Miles almost immediately.

-Especially Miles, Peter always jokes and says that they were definitely brothers in their past lives.

-Gwen and Hobie bond over music.

-Gwen gets the crush first.

-But unlike Miles she’s more forward and doesn’t wait a billion years so she’s asks him out.

-Hobie says yes.

-Only one that knows how to drive by the time he’s 18.

OTHER STUFF

-Gwen’s relationship with her father just…never gets better in my AU. He’s just an ass and as far as Gwen is concerned they’re not family, they’re just related. With that being said, although it’s never acknowledged, Gwen definitely sees Peter as a father figure in her life. She even has him as her top emergency contact. Peter started to understand this when she was 16, he never questioned it and sees her as his oldest daughter. When she’s had really bad arguments with her father she goes to Peters and spends the night.

-Peter and MJ’s home is open to all the spiderkids. No questions asked.

-Peter and MJ always say “On our taxes we have one kid” when people ask them how many kids they have.

-When Peter gets home he sees how many pairs of shoes are at the door then yells “how many kids are in the house?" They usually yell in response which gives him an idea as to how many kids are there.

-On average there’s no less than 2.

-One time he asked and a really deep voice responded along with the kids.

-It was Venom.

-All the spiders have their own therapist’s but every other weekend there’s a group therapy session for kids with powers funded by S.H.E.I.L.D. It’s not required that they go but it’s open for them regardless, just sign up and come in.

-Ganke donates some of his legos to the program and helps assist sometimes with running it since it’s not ran in the best shape.

-This connects to a bigger problem of helping hero’s with their mental health and stability, especially when they decide to retire.

-If you read the other AU list I had, this is the reason why Ganke switches his major to Social Work when he goes to college.

NICKNAMES

Peter’s nicknames for the kids:

Miles-“Junior/Little Man”

May-“Mayday”

Gwen-"Gwennie Pie”

Ganke-“Goober”

Hobie-“Hobie” (obviously)

Anya-“Ani”

Ganke’s nicknames:

Friends-“Gee” judge calls him “G-money”

Miles’s mom-“Honey”

Ganke’s mom-“Gee-Chan”

The boy that bullies him AKA Sean “Gay-ke”

Peter-“Goober” (as I’ve said before)

Venom and Eddie-“Boy”

Miles’s for when he’s feeling affectionate-“Cariño”

Anyway that’s all I got for now! If you have any questions about my AU please feel free to ask away. I love talking about it as you can see.

[n0tangeliccc]

I have an idea! NSFW Jealous possesive top creek x reader, the asian girls start drawing reader with other ppl and the ships became very famous around town, tweek n craig have no other option than fuck reader until she can't think straight bc they're jealous as hell and they need to prove that reader belongs to them 💏💏💏💏

You’re ours

Craig x Fem!Reader x Tweek

(EVERYONE IS 18+)

Warning: Smut, unprotected sex, oral (m! + f! receiving), cum swallowing (it’s implied), threesome, fingering, degradation (the tiniest bit of praise), slight edging (?), semi-public sex (idk other people can hear you), uh i think that’s everything i don’t know how to tag these things😵‍💫(some parts might sound ooc im sorry!!)

A/N: I didn’t expect y’all to love the Creek stuff but here you go my loves🤭 (also this was not proofread please tell me of any misspellings!!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ✧˖°.

There stood your two lovers, Tweek and Craig, their hands shaking in rage as they looked at the huge mural of you and their close friend Clyde together. Ever since you started hanging out those same girls who once got them together have been shipping you and Clyde together and this made Tweek and Craig absolutely furious. “AcK- Craig can you believe this?” Tweek’s mind was racing with panicked thoughts of you leaving him and Craig “W-what if she leaves us for him aHh! This is too much!!” “Calm down honey” Craig rubs Tweek’s back trying to calm him down before sighing “I knew we should’ve just been open and told everyone we’re in a poly relationship now look at this shit!” He face palmed mentally. Craig knew you were well known around South Park it would have been only a matter of time before you started getting shipped with someone he just wished it was with him and Tweek, I mean they were your boyfriends for fucks sake! “T-That was too much pressure!!” Tweek was practically about to pull his hair out. “Don’t worry I’ve been thinking of a way to make it know” Craig smirks and Tweek gives him a confused look “Don’t worry honey I’ll tell you all about my plan on the way, now come on I’m sure Y/N’s waiting for us at the coffee shop”

As they walk to the shop they couldn’t help but notice something that only fueled their anger and jealousy even more, Clyde. Craig’s whole body tensed up and his grip on Tweek’s hand tightened causing the blonde to turn and look at what was happening.

You had been cleaning a bit while waiting for your lovers to arrive when Clyde had walked in and struck up a conversation. You’re body leaned against the counter as you and Clyde spoke when suddenly you heard the cafe door slam open. “So then I- What the hell??” Clyde jumped as Craig and Tweek walked in “Oh hey guys what’s up?” His smile fading quickly as his friends glared at him “Okay?..Anyways Y/N-“ “AH!-Actually WE need to t-talk to her right now” Tweek cut him off ‘Weird’ you thought, you’d never seen them act like this before “Well we can go into the back office, I’ll be right back Clyde!” You waved as the guys dragged you away from him.

You could feel the tension in the air as you walked in turning to look at your boyfriends. “So…What’s going on guys?” You asked awkwardly “What’s going on?? Seriously Y/N don’t you see what’s being spread around??” Craig answered back angrily “All these people are convinced you’re with Clyde!!” The jealousy pumping through his veins as he pulled you towards him and Tweek “You’re ours and I think it’s time we let people know” he growled in you ear. “I-In here?” You questioned as he grabbed you and sat you on the desk “People will hear guys” Craig smirked “I’m sure you’d like that considering how much of a whore you’ve been lately, don’t you think Tweek?” Tweek chuckled and nodded in agreement “B-better they hear and know”

He kissed down your neck as Craig untied your apron and unbuttoned your work shirt. Both men began leaving trails of hickies down your neck and breast switching sides so Tweek was now in front of you he continued to kiss down your torso, Craig removed your bra and began teasing your tits making you whimper. Tweek unzipped your pants and pulled them down to around your ankles before beginning to kiss your inner thighs running his hands painfully close to your aching core “Tweek..” you whimpered again making both men laugh. “What’s w-wrong baby? Feeling needy?” Tweek looked up at you with a sly grin, you rarely got to see this overly dominant side of him but when you did god did it make you wet. “Please Tweek” “I don’t know Tweek I think she’s been to much of a slut to deserve it” Craig smirked giving your breast a soft squeeze making you groan “So fucking slutty, bet you’re soaked just from us teasing aren’t you?” You hear Tweek chuckle as he pulled down your panties “Oh s-she is Craig” his fingers hovered over your clit teasingly making you shiver in anticipation “F-fucking whore” Tweek growled before sticking two of his fingers into your wet folds. You gasped loudly as he began sliding them in and out of you rapidly “F-Fuck Tweek!!” You moaned loudly “So loud, though you didn’t want anyone to hear this you slut” Craig grinned smugly as he undid his pants “Time to get that pretty mouth of yours to work” he said as he pulled cock out from his pants “Come on bitch you know you want it” You laid back on the desk as Tweek continued to ravish your pussy and Craig tapped his cock on your cheek “Go on, suck it whore” You wasted no time getting to work giving his tip kitten licks as you stoked the rest of his length. “Fuck…good whore” Craig groaned as you began to slowly began to sick your head down his shaft. Tweek smirked and flattered his tongue against your clit teasingly before harshly sucking on it making you moan around Craig cock “Yeah j-just like that baby” he removed his fingers from inside you switching to his tongue, he lapped your juices rapidly making moan even louder as you felt yourself getting closer to cumming. “A-Are you close?” Tweek asked as he pulled away, his thumb circling your clit as you pulled away from Craig and nodded desperately. “Switch?” He asked Craig “Switch” he grinned mischievously as they exchanged spots with Craig between your legs and Tweek in front of you face now. You quickly began to stroke Tweek’s dick before bringing it to your mouth as Craig teased your entrance with his cock making you whimper around Tweek. “G-gah!” Tweek moaned as your mouth did wonders on his cock. Craig slid into your wet folds a low groan escaping his lips as he began slowly began to thrust into you “That’s it take it like a good slut” he cooed in your ear as his thrust began to speed up. You’re moans we’re sending chills up Tweek’s spine as you sucked him off, he grabbed onto your hair pushing himself deeper into your throat “F-fuck- close!!” You continued even faster as you hear his breath quicken “Ngh! Y/N!!” He let out one last high pitched groan before he came in your mouth holding your head down on his cock. Craig chuckled and began thrusting even faster and harder that before as he felt your walls clenching around him “That’s it whore, cum for us” His animalistic thrust sent you over the edge and you came hard screaming out in pleasure “F-fuck” Craig grunted as his thrust became sloppier and he pushed himself into you on last time before he came.

By the next day everyone knew of your relationship with Tweek and Craig. Not because you guys announced it out loud but because poor Clyde heard the whole thing from outside the office and told everyone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ✧˖°.

Longest oneshot I’ve written (why it took me so damn long😭) also the dirtiest oml😮‍💨

[queenofbaws]

! Pride Month Challenge 2024 !

Well hi there, everyone! With May winding down to a close and June just around the corner, it's about that time again...the time where @jadedsunshine, @unicornaffair, and I host our yearly create-a-thon! 🥳

What's the Pride Month Challenge, you might find yourself asking? Well, this year it's a little bingo game we've put together, featuring some classic tropes. The aim of this particular game? Make something!!! Anything! Just get those creative juices a-flowin' and see if you can snag a B-I-N-G-O along the way!

This challenge is open to everyone and anyone who wants to take part, whether you know the three of us or not! We're going to be using the tag #pridemonthchallenge2024 for the stuff we create, so if you decide to join in on the fun and games, feel free to stick that tag on whatever you make, too! If you're interested in more details, you can check below the cut or reach out and ask ;)c

Either way, happy almost-pride, and happy creating!!!

I don't write fic - can I still participate?

Ab. So. Lutely!!! We've done this challenge for a few years now (we've missed a year or two for weddings and other life stuff, whoops!), but in the past we've had people doodle, sketch, draw, make edits, create props or other physical art, and even curate playlists! The three of us are writers, so you're very likely to see fic or ficlets from us...but you? Oh. Oh, you can do whatever your heart desires!!!

Are there word limits/expectations for a finished product?

NO!!! :D Zero. Literally zero expectations. We aren't putting together an exchange, we aren't holding a competition, we're just trying to get the spirit of creation in the air. That's it! So whether you're writing 50 words or 5,000, whether you've made a rough sketch on a notebook page or fully lined/colored a scene, you're good! You're so good. As long as you've made something, you've earned a stamp on that bingo card, baby!!!

What if I don't want to do something fandom-y? Can it be OCs/original work?

OF COURSE!!! 100%. You don't even have to ask!!! Show the world your OCs! Tell the world about your story's worldbuilding! It's all fair game :)

What if I don't want to post what I made?

Don't sweat it! Again, this is...the farthest thing from official. This is for fun, and this is for the sake of making something. Sharing your work can be nerve-wracking - don't feel like you have to! We'd love to see you playing along with us, of course, but as long as you've made something that you're proud of, you've earned that stamp! No ifs, ands, or buts!

Is it cool if my creations aren't necessarily pride-themed?

Totally! We host this challenge during pride month because (1) it traditionally works better for the three of us than NaNoWriMo because of our schedules, and (2) we're queer creators ourselves! But if you're feeling a prompt and can't find a way to make it relevant to pride, PLEASE don't sweat it! As I've been known to say (and then get laughed at for saying), this challenge is no rules, just right, Outback Steakhouse :P

Let's say I get a bingo...what do I win?

:) Nothing. <3

Wait, really?

:) Really <3 Hehehe, in all seriousness, this challenge has been a fun way for us to sit down, take our minds off of life and our bigger projects and just...make some fun stuff! In our humble opinion(s), being able to point at a finished piece and say "I did that! I made that!" is its own kind of reward. The bingo board itself is really more for bragging rights ;)c Which, of course, we encourage wholeheartedly. Nothing wrong with a little bragging!!!

We hope to have you along for our month-long adventure! Again, we're going to be using the tag #pridemonthchallenge2024 for our own stuff, so if you'd like to use that tag - or tag any of us!!! - in whatever you end up creating, feel free!!! We love seeing what everyone comes up with, and this challenge is always so much more fun, knowing other people are taking part! <3 Hope to see you along for the ride!

*The bingo board was made by the lovely @jadedsunshine 🥰

[padfootdaredmetoo]

Hey 👋 I’m not too sure if your doing requests( if not completely ignore this it’s fine:)) but I was requesting a peaky blinders one-shot where reader is like an orphan and lives in an orphanage and tommy the philanthropist he is goes down to the orphanage with Polly,John,Arthur,and Ada and whoever else you want and they see reader going at it with on of the sisters. You could choose the conflict or their argument but yeah, if you could draw the reader as someone who’s quick and sarcastic with their words like a speak before thinking type of person you know. Also can this be like a tommy Shelby x daughter!reader kinda like a found family kind of trope. Sweet kisses love your stories❤️

Dear Anon,

I hope this does it justice!! I changed a few things because I felt like it fit the story better (I hope that's alright) but there is lots of family stuff. And lots of Lizzie and Tommy - not something I have ever written before so hopefully that's also alright. Sweet kisses back to you love, thank you for this wonderful idea!!!

Warnings: peaky type stuff, religious language? Implied that a priest was going to assault the reader, bad words, not descriptive death of parents, mentioned death of a baby, grief, so much sweetness and hurt comfort and hopefully laughs. I promise it's not as dark or sad as it sounds. Also some Grace bashing / group hate.

Word count: 6606 - may have gotten carried away...

Part 2

Tommy watched Lizzie closely as they approached the large building. According to his sources it housed around a hundred and fifty children, the building was large but it didn't seem that large. 

It was gray and rainy, much like every day. The dark dampness didn’t bother him as it had seeped into his bones and made a home long ago. At this point, he was convinced that the sunlight would simply cause him to turn to ashes if it ever reached his skin. 

Lizzie looked nervous but that was expected, he felt beyond nervous. Suddenly hoping she would change her mind altogether. Children were overrated, he would know having raised Finn and half of John's kids. But after her she lost the baby, he would do anything to bring some happiness to her. He knew he wasn't the best husband, but he was trying to do better every day. 

Walking up the steps a voice in his mind started to remind him that he would only be bringing this baby into a world of danger and horror. Only going to ruin them so no God would allow them refuge. He pushed them down as best he could, reaching out to hold Lizzie’s hand. She looked taken back at the gesture, another thing wrong with them. Wrong with the situation. 

They were escorted in to look at the babies. They were just as expected, plump, cute, and small. Tommy tried not to look at them too close, no point in getting attached. Lizzie would pick a baby, and he would attempt to be a good father. 

He hated that he knew what it felt like to reach out for parents that were not there to hold you. He was sulking when a commotion caught his attention. 

“For Fucks sakes woman! ” A girl shouted. 

“You listen here. Father Stryker is a noble member of this community and organization. You will do what he asks of you.” A woman responded in a cold tone. 

“We both know that’s not what God would want you old bat.” The girl snapped back and he held back a smile. 

“Now you listen here, we do not know what God wants, that’s not our place. He has a way -” 

“No, he sure as hell doesn't. God would NEVER.” The girl demanded. “I thought God was in all of us, and GOD doesn't want me to be alone with him. In fact, I would say he’s overcome with passion about the issue. It would be a sin for me to ignore his protests.” 

“I will not tolerate such language, you foul girl!” The sound of a slap was dealt out. Tommy felt an odd feeling of unease about the situation. 

“You let this happen! You. And you will BURN FOR IT. Mark my words, you will suffer an eternity for his sins. There are no amount of crosses under the sun for Jesus to croak on that would make up for your grotesque choices you evil witch.” The girl's voice was pure venom, and Tommy was overcome with an urge to protect the girl. What type of place were they running here? 

“I want her,” Lizzie said clearly standing next to him looking at the Sister that was showing them around. 

“Sorry Mrs. Shelby ?” She asked looking for clarification. 

“The girl in the hall.” He looked at Lizzie landing her eyes on a girl that must have been about 15 standing off with the nun in the hallway. Her face was beet red, making her blue eyes seem extraordinarily bright in contrast,  her fists clenched ready for a fight of any size. That girl did not care what happened, she wasn't going to back down. 

“Ah, are you sure? She’s quite temperamental.” She responded looking embarrassed. 

“Excellent, I’ve never seen anyone look so much like my husband,” Lizzie said with a smirk on her face.  

“We’ll take her. And I’d like a word with management.” He asserted firmly. This was not the sort of thing he could look the other way on, plus it would only further the family image. Win-win. 

______________________________

Another sister came into the hallway. 

“Sister Margret, she has been requested by a family.” She said quickly. 

You were positive this must be some type of trap. But a tall angular woman moved into the hallway. She looked like someone from a painting, impossibly pretty, elegant, clothes worth a small fortune. This was impossible. 

The sister grabbed your arm and pulled you away from that bitch. Far away from the classroom you were terrified of. 

The lady looked you up and down and removed the sister's hand from your arm. She shot her a warning look and the sister apologized. Whoever this woman was, she meant business. 

“I’m Lizzie, Lizzie Shelby.” She said in a voice that belonged on a stage. You introduced yourself feeling embarrassed. 

“We’d like to take you home if you're alright with that.” She asked holding her arm out. Normally you didn’t like being touched for any reason, but being escorted out of the place was a good enough reason for you to make an exception. 

You looped your arm in hers and she strode out of the place with her head held high. 

“The Paperwork -” The sister called out 

“Get my husband to deal with it.” She called back, her voice dripping with power. You accompanied her into a very expensive car. You sat in the back seat beside her and watched her take in your appearance as if it had changed being in the natural light. 

“Do you read?”  She asked you lighting a cigarette.

“I had a tutor before my parents died.” 

“How did they pass?” 

“Car accident.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Me too.” 

“We’ll expect you to go to school.” 

“You’d be a shit parent if you didn't.” You mentally kicked yourself. “Sorry I -didn't” You were stumbling over an apology as the door opened and a man got into the driver's seat. 

“That’s my husband. Thomas.” 

“Hello,” You said feeling completely deflated. “It’s nice to meet you, both of you, It’s nice.” You couldn't remember a time being so embarrassed. You wished that they would just run you over with their expensive tires. There were just too many emotions in such a short period. 

An hour ago a priest was forcing himself on you, telling you God would never allow you to get adopted, and here you were making a fool out of yourself with your new parents. 

That phrase stung so bad you visually imagined pushing it from your mind.

“Did you sort the paperwork?” Lizzie asked in a frosty tone that made you wonder what their relationship problems were like. 

“That and a few other things.” He responded in a tone you assumed only ghosts were capable of. 

“Like what?” She said looking out the window with resentment. 

“Taking the place over.” He responded easily. As if it was no big deal, like spending money on petrol for the car. 

“What do you mean?” This caught her off guard and you watched a bit of hopefulness come to life in her eyes. 

“Saw things.” He hesitated, obviously aware of your presence in the car. “That I didn’t think God would approve of.” You caught a slight smirk on his face in the mirror. His eyes told you it was easier to poke fun at the situation. 

Lizzie hummed in approval, and even though you’d only known them a few minutes it felt like progress. 

_______

They wanted to give you a few days to settle in before introducing you to the whole family. Something you saw as a bit of a red flag. The house was massive, but it was clean and quiet. Both a blessing and a curse. You were too shy to ask for something to do or go explore. Your bedroom was unbelievably beautiful, and warm. 

There was a knock on the door that caused you to jump. 

“Yeah?” 

“Can I come in?” Lizzie’s voice rang through the door. 

“Of course” You responded stiffly. She came in and smiled at you, she pointed to your bed but you didn't understand what she was looking at. Should you not have been laying on it during the day? 

“Is it alright if I sit?” She asked you and you realized that’s what she meant. 

“Yes!” You sat up straight feeling like an idiot once again. You’d had to sit through two dinners each equally painful due to your rambling. 

“How are you settling in?” She asked kindly. 

“Um, fine. It’s nice. I love my room.” 

“What do you get up to in here?” She looked around with a frown. 

“Mostly sitting and thinking.” You responded blandly. 

“Are you sure I can’t take you shopping for anything?” She’d asked at least three times, and you felt horrible imposing on them further. 

“I don't want to bother you.” You finally broke. She let out a strange laugh. 

“Bother me. All the time. Big stuff little stuff, doesn't matter.” She picked a piece of lint off of your bedspread. “Plus kids cost money you know. That’s no one's fault, so don’t carry it like a burden.” 

Your eyes stung with tears. That was not the narrative you had grown up with parents or none. You’d always been acutely aware of the burden your existence placed on people. Her words made you feel like you were special, not something your parents could give you. This brought on a very large mix of feelings. 

“Don’t cry, really all this is-”  Her face appeared displeased with your reaction and it only made your hurt more. 

“Normal. Not for me, it’s not. If you wanted a kid that was used to this you should have had one yourself.” the words flew out of your mouth and she was up and out of the room before you could try to apologize. You felt so much worse, you wanted to pull out all your hair trying to make it stop. 

You stopped trying to hold the tears back and got up off your bed to apologize. An embarrassing apology was better than them shipping you back. 

You followed the sound of her soft crying sounds. Through a door that was slightly ajar. It was a beautiful nursery. They had tried to have their little spoilt children, the guilt only became worse. 

You locked eyes with her and decided the truth was always best. 

“You treat me better than my parents. But they're dead and it hurts. I don't want to bother you both, it's already some kind of miracle that I got adopted at this age, I don't want to push my luck. Or live through you getting bored of me and then tossing me aside.” 

For a moment you thought she was going to shout at you. But she just nodded in understanding. You both were crying, so why not try to risk a hug. You got down on the sheep skin rug next to her and hugged her. 

Her grief wrapped around you with her slender arms. She pushed your face against her chest and kissed the top of your head. You didn't understand, but the hurt in her felt a lot like the hurt inside of you. So you leaned into the feeling crying just as hard. 

“I lost her. She was born and - nothing anyone could do about it.” She said after a long while. The thought made your heart break all over again. “They told me I couldn't have kids. Spent years avoiding it like it was the plague and now, God it hurts.” 

“I’m so sorry.” 

“I’m sorry for you too. My dad left before I was born, mother passed when I was 13. Prostitute till I was twenty.” She let out a sad laugh. “This life.” She motioned to the house with her arm. “Is not the life I came from and my husband doesn't have much. But he has money, so don’t ever feel bad for spending it.” You looked up at her in shock. There was no way she was telling the truth. She looked like she belonged in a palace like you wanted to trust her with the whole world. So elegant, kind eyes. 

“We’re the same then” you whispered. 

“Absolutely not!  If you become a prostitute I will have officially become the worst mother in history.” She said causing you both to laugh. 

“I’m not good with people.” You joked along. Tommy pushed the door open and you stiffened slightly. No matter how you tried to calm down, he made you uneasy. Like he would be impossible to please or get to know.

“It’s not a whore house?” He said with a confused look having caught the end of the conversation. You’d never seen a man look more confused as the both of you were tear-soaked holding each other on the floor. 

“Not anymore it's not.” Lizzie quipped causing him to almost smile. You wondered what made him so stuck up.

“Good lord, how did you guys make all this money again?” You asked cheekily, causing Lizzie to laugh. 

“Just you wait.” She said lightly, but you couldn't help but know already that it was not God’s work that placed them here.

“Come down for lunch?” he asked you both, still slightly put off by the situation. 

“Yes” she wiped her cheeks with the back of her hands, you watched her walls of composure surround her once again. 

“Come on. Let’s see how much trouble we can get in before supper.” She said helping you up. 

_____________________________

You stopped by to pick up people on the way to the shops. 

“We’ll get Esme first. She’s John’s wife. Tommy’s younger brother - he made a deal with the Lee family - a bunch of gypsies - Tommy needed men, and she needed a husband. Technically I almost married John. It was a complicated time. But they both get along like a house on fire. She holds him down pretty good, probably the only reason he’s still alive.” You listened as she drove you through the countryside. “Then we’ll get Polly. She’s Tommy’s Aunt. She probably goes up against him the most. She’s some kind of Gypsy royalty, a very peculiar woman, but she means well. Hated Tommy’s first wife Grace. Well, we all hated Grace. Us women tend to stick together. We have to put up a good front against the boys or they raise hell like nothing else.” 

“You’re all gangsters then?” You asked her catching her slightly off guard. 

“Technically he’s a gangster turned politician. But trust me having been on the receiving end of both there really isn't a difference.” 

You blushed at her words and tried to hold your tongue. 

“I shouldn't have said that last part.” She flicked her cigarette case open and lit one up. “Forget I said that.” but you started laughing. You pulled up to a country-style house, chickens squawking loudly at the car engine. 

“Oi! That is not a baby!” A woman with wild curly hair approached the car. She slid into the backseat and you felt awkward sitting in the front. You looked at her looking you over. “Total babe, but not a baby.” She said with wide eyes in disbelief.

“She’s fifteen,” Lizzie responded looking at you like you were a brand new car. 

“Good lord. Going to have to beat the boys off of her. She’s pretty like you.” 

You blushed heavily at her words unsure of what to do with the attention. 

“Eh, as long as we keep her close I think we’ll manage just fine.” Lizzie smiled and turned the car around. 

“I’m Esme, I’m sure Lizzie caught you up to speed.” She lit a cigarette and smiled at you as you introduced yourself. She asked you lots of questions, about how you liked the place. 

“It’s cold. You can say it, love.” Esme blurted out. “It’s a monument to Grace. Should have been burnt down the second she left us.” You could tell this was a part of the stormy ocean of problems that rested between your adopted parents. You put that piece of knowledge into your back pocket. You pulled up to a stylish-looking complex and a woman in a black suit and sunglasses approached the car. 

“I was going to offer to babysit for you when you need a rest - but by the looks of it I’ll be asking you for help, love.” 

“How many kids do you have?” You asked while you waited. 

“Too fuckin’ many,” Polly responded climbing into the back seat. “I thought you asked Tommy for a baby, not a miniature replica of yourself?” 

“Come off it Pol,” Lizzie said starting the car. 

“I’m serious, I thought I was seein’ a bloody ghost. I’ve known you since you were the size of a potato, when I say she looks just like ya, I fuckin’ mean it.” 

You looked at Lizzie and wished you looked even a fraction of how beautiful she was. 

“How's he managing with this then? He was always good with the kids when they were little but I can’t imagine he’d know what to do with her.” Polly said stealing Esme’s cigarette. 

“Eh, like everything else, he’s adjusting.” Everyone seemed to find this funny. 

“You look at me, that boy gives you any trouble you call me alright. I’ll set him straight.” She was strong like Thomas but soft like Lizzie, and something distinctly her own. You could tell she was in charge. 

“Thank you.” You said sheepishly unsure of what else to say. 

“You're welcome, love,” She said kindly. 

Shopping was a lot. You cried on the way home and they had a unique way of comforting you while also making fun of you, making you laugh. Once you started laughing with them it seemed impossible to stop. You assumed that you would all pile into the sitting room, but instead, you piled into the kitchen, which quickly became your favorite space in the house. A large wooden table surrounded by something that felt so perfectly warm. Grace clearly didn’t touch this space much. 

They poured you cranberry juice and set into a bottle of whiskey. The jokes got worse as the night progressed and for once your sharp tongue and misplaced comments brought a great deal of joy. 

“Where did you find this girl!” Esme said between laughs 

“Fighting off a Nun in a hallway,” Lizzie replied still laughing from the joke before. Tommy and you assumed his brothers appeared in the doorway.

“Wow, Looks like you Lizzie, but with Tom’s eyes” John said, or you thought it was him because he went to stand behind Esme and she looked up at him in a way you hadn't seen before. 

“And his mouth.” Esme quipped and you hoped it was a compliment. He reached across the table to shake your hand. 

“John” 

“It’s nice to meet you” You introduced your self. Arthur came and gave you a crushing hug. 

“They got you out numbered now brother.” He joked letting you go to pour himself a glass of whiskey.

Tommy gave you a tense look, like he was worried about something. He took the seat next to you puting space between you and the boys. 

“Might be enough women to put some life back into this place.” Polly said with twinkling eyes. 

“I’ll try my best.” You responded quickly seeing that Tommy didn’t seem happy. 

He stuck close to your side, sliding glasses of Whiskey away from you as the boys started drinking. His youngest brother was only a few years older than you, and he showed up with a bunch more men that introduced themselves politely before joining into the savagery. 

You scooted your self along the bench to sit closer to Tommy not knowing the others well enough to want to sit as close. 

“Thank you, Lord, for blessing us with such a wonderful girl! May she shine bright for us in these dark times. To the newest Shelby!” Arthur’s voice boomed and your face turned bright red. Everyone finished a drink, but you caught Lizzie and Tommy sharing a look. 

Tommy put his arm around and you were grateful to have something to lean into with all the commotion. They were the loudest and rudest, most funny group of people you’d ever seen. 

“Think it’s time for bed, eh?” He asked you quietly and you nodded. 

“Alright! Clear out you lot. She’s got to get to bed. We can have a proper dinner tomorrow night!” Tommy called out causing a few groans. 

“But we just got here!” Finn mumbled.

Everyone said their goodbyes and goodnights to you moving out of the kitchen. Polly placed a kiss to your forehead. She said something in a different language, to which Tommy responded with a sharp nodd. 

Once everyone had piled out the front door, they took you up to your room. You hit the bed feeling more tired than you could ever remember.

_________________________________________

You slowly became more at ease around Tommy. Sitting alone at the table didn’t frighten you nearly as much. You heard him shout at people occasionally and that made you determined to keep your distance. 

It wasn't until Lizzie stayed away for a night getting stuck at Esme’s due to a storm. You assured her that you ate dinner and that everything was fine. In reality, you'd been sitting by the front window praying for her to come back. You hated storms and you’d just trusted that she’d be there and know what to do about it. 

Eventually you decided to retreat to your room to avoid any conflict. 

“Goodnight.” You poked your head into his study. 

“Night, love.” He responded kindly looking up from his papers. You thought about bothering him for a moment, telling him that you were scared. You decided to slip up to your bedroom instead. Girls your age didn't get scared of these types of things. 

Without Lizzie, there was an impending sense of doom about the place. Like there was pressure pushing down on you. Listening to things creak and shift, you had an idea that maybe without Lizzie here Grace’s ghost would try to snatch you up. 

Laying there listening to the storm and the house, your mind cooked up a story of revenge. Grace would kill you to get back at Lizzie for stealing her mourning husband. Maybe that’s why Lizzie’s baby wasn't born right. Your heart started to race as your stomach twisted.

There must have been some deeper story, Lizzie always seemed like she was very hurt by Grace, despite having come into Tommy’s life after. But Polly’s known Lizzie since she was a baby….

Questions were swirling in your mind non stop trying to make sense of it all. Your door made a horrid sscreeching sound and you let out a scream in response, pulling the blankets up above your head. 

“LEAVE ME ALONE GRACE.” You shouted hoping that it was enough that you could see it was her this whole time. She’d be deterred by your cleverness and the quilt Polly had made you. 

The quilt was tugged away from your face and you balled your fists ready to fight her off. However you looked up at Tommy’s horrified face instead. 

“I don’t do well with storms” You blurted out hoping that would make it better. You both looked at eachother for a moment.

“Let’s make some tea.” He said firmly. You knew that you’d fucked up and the last thing you wanted to do was have tea over the situation. You got up and he pulled your quilt around you, keeping his hand on your shoulder as you moved down the stair case. 

You watched him light a fire in the kitchen and grab two glasses and fill them with whiskey. 

He passed one to you and sat across from you, he took off his glasses and placed them on the table.

“Why do you think my first wife is out to get you?” He cut right to the chase.

“I got scared of the storm, and Lizzie is trapped, Grace- it’d be the perfect opportunity to get revenge on Lizzie for stealing her mourning husband.” You rushed the words out wishing you were dead. Tommy actually chuckled.

“That’s the story you’d been told then?” 

“No, just the one that made sense.” 

“How so?” He took a sip of whiskey. 

“Everyone says this place is some kind of shrine for her, Lizzie hates it. Hates her, why exactly,  I’m not sure but I know it’s because she’s hurt.” 

“Lizzie is hurt by Grace?” He asked with a wrinkled brow, you didn't think he was capable of such emotions. 

“That’s obvious.” You said sadly. He made a humming noise.

“I didn’t intend to marry Lizzie. She got pregnant and I married her.” He answered easily, suddenly you were very angry at him. Happy he did right by her and married her but - 

“Doesn’t mean she hasn’t always loved you.” You argued. 

“Is that so?” 

“Obviously. Have you ever looked at her? This place, the family, everything, me. Obviously.” You were dumbfounded. How on earth could someone so smart and sharp be so daft. “She puts up with a lot of shit around here. Not once has she ever mentioned leaving or hating you.” 

“Perhaps I should talk to her about it.” 

“You’d better. Everywhere we go men look at her.” You said trying to scare him into doing the right thing. 

“I’m sure they do, she’s a pretty woman.” He answered tensly. Suddenly you started to worry that maybe he wont ever love her, and if that was the case he would certainly never learn to love you. Panic started to wash over you.

“Do you want to watch the storm then?” 

“How?” You answered even more uneasy. He got up and you followed him through to the dark sitting room. He pulled the curtains open adding the slitghtest bit of light to the room. You helped him turn the couch around to face the big window. 

You watched him pour more wiskey and sit down motioning for you to do the same. Wrapped in Polly’s quilt you sat next to him and he put his arm around your shoulders.

“The only way to stop being scared is to face the thing that scares you.” He explained easily. He held you close to his side as you watched the dark figures of trees swaying violently. The lightening causing you to jump. Eventually things calmed down but you found yourself wishing that it would continue on so you could spend more time sitting like this. He just sat with you tucked into his side sipping his whiskey. 

“ I do care for you and Lizzie. More than anything.” He kissed the top of your head. “Things in the past weren't always easy or safe. Keeping her at arm's length seemed like the best way to keep her from ending up like Grace.” 

You listened to his voice in the dark, feelingthe pain in his words. 

“However, I would hate for her to leave me for a man at the shops.” He said lightly and you snorted. 

“Sorry for overstepping - I didn’t mean that she looked back at them” 

“S’alright.” He answered easily. Suddenly you saw headlights coming up the drive. You felt his body tense. “Hide behind the desk,” he said seriously. He grabbed a gun hidden in the paneling on the wall. You could hear the door open and to your relief, you heard Lizzie’s voice. 

“Fuck sake, Thomas! A gun! Scared the bloody life out of me!” She started to scold him but suddenly she stopped. “Are you alright? Where is she?! I knew something was wrong! Where-” her voice was muffled and you assumed it was because he was holding her.

“She’s fine, in the sitting room” He answered calmly.

“The sitting room at this hour!” 

You got up and moved back to the couch hoping that they might sit with you a while longer before going up to bed. 

“Why is the couch the wrong way?” She asked sitting down pulling you against her. “Miss me enough to sit up at the window like a couple of dogs.” 

“Something like that.” You said enjoying the way she held you tightly. Tommy came to sit down on the other side of you. His arm came across your shoulders pulling Lizzie towards you slightly. 

“Did you give her whiskey? She smells like distillery.”

“One glass to calm her nerves, won’t hurt her any.” You felt him reach over you to kiss the top of her head. 

“Alright. But don’t you go turning into your father.” She said sternly causing you to laugh. 

You sat for a while with the them till eventually the gray sky started to brighten with the sun of the next day. 

“Let’s get to bed. We can all get in a nap before the day starts.” Tommy said. Lizzie followed you through to your room to help you into bed and make sure you were okay. After you were settled you heard them talking down the hall and hoped that he was ready to face his fears. 

The next day you all had breakfast around noon in the kitchen. Lizzie and Tommy seemed in better spirits, might have had something to do with the marks on her neck, but you hoped he’d talked to her about the situation. 

After that night things were noticeably different. You went to school and tried to get along with the other kids, your marks were not great, leading to long nights in the kitchen studying extra with various family members. Esme was the best person to sit with, having learned maths and reading from her mother. She knew how to encourage you without stressing you out. 

Tommy on the other hand would look over the material and already look stressed. He always tried to keep his temper in check, but it was unbearable feeling him be frustrated with you. Eventually he caught on that you did worse with him there because of the added pressure, he learned to just sit next to you and work on his problems and offer you help when you needed it. 

It took a lot of struggling but eventually you were caught up and getting good marks. 

Things were going well till some old business needed to be handled. Tommy was to go away for two weeks, something that seemed to crush Lizzie. 

To her surprise he called her everynight. You’d watch her sitting on kitchen counter talking and occasionally laughing. Then he’d talk to you about school and the weather, telling you that he missed you. That was when you realised that something must be very wrong. He was clearly in a great deal of danger where ever he was. Polly came to stay at the house with Arthur, you enjoyed having them around but it only confirmed your suspicion. Everyone seemd it was best to keep you in the dark on the whole thing. 

 When he came back he was very different. Somebody, or some people, were most certainly dead. A great relief fell over the family and something was different about him. He had a smile on his face when she rushed to the door to greet him. You watched how they held eachother and thought back to when you’d first met them. Things were very different. You eventually butted into the hug feeling left out. 

______________

Extra Blurb. 

Eventually the unthinkable happened. The boy you had your eye on at school asked you out. Not knowing what to do or what the rules are you decided to get some more information on him make sure he was worth the risk of asking. 

Finn laughed at you.

“Not from the best family. But not a rival either, Tommy’s sure to have a fit, and Lizzie, I’m not sure. All in all, I don't mind the guy, you might be better off not telling them.” He said looking out the stained glass window of the Garrison. “If he gives you a hard time, come see me yeah? Don’t let him take you out of Small Heath” He looked at you seriously. 

“Sure thing.” You said getting up. You shouted a thank you over your shoulder rushing out of the pub. 

You thought long and hard about the situation. He made you laugh, didnt seem to care to much about your last name or who your dad was. Didn’t care that you were adopted. He was very polite, but enjoyed your peculiar sense of humor and misplaced words. 

You thought about turning him down. It was too complicated and anything that would upset your parents was too much of a burden. Thinking of what you would say to him, your heart gave a painful wrench. 

You went downstairs towards Tommy’s study. God this boy better be worth it or you’d put him in the ground. 

You poked your head in to see him writing and Lizzie sitting on the sofa reading a magazine. 

“Erm - So.” You started and watched them both look up at you. 

“What are you wearing?” Lizzie said smiling at your dress. 

“Go upstairs and change” Tommy cut you off before you could respond.

“Theres a boy -” You watched his face fall into his hands. “And he’s picking me up in a half hour if that’s allowed.” You fumbled with your words, wanting them to say yes badly.

“What boy” They said at the same time, giving eachother a glare. 

“Noah Solomons. I met him at school.” you responded expecting an explosion. 

“No. absolutley not. No way on earth am I sending you anywhere with him.” 

“Finn said he’s alright.” You started by stopped once he let out a sigh. 

“Finn! Fucking bastard.” He pinnched the bridge of his nose. 

“Where is he taking you then?” Lizzie asked

“Just around Small Heath for dinner. I told him that I can’t be out late.” Your face got red and you looked out the window.

“Put on a longer dress. The purple one, and put your hair up -” 

“Tommy! Don’t make her wear the purple one” Lizzie started to argue but stopped once she saw the look on his face. Her eyes narrowed back at him. 

“How bout I wear the red one -” 

“The black one is fine” They both answered suddently. 

“Just put on a cardigan,” Lizzie said getting up. “I have a nice one upstairs.” You followed her up to her bedroom. She pulled out a nice cardigan and some less opaque stockings. After you’d changed you looked yourself over, more modest, but that wasn't a bad thing. Especially if it got Tommy’s blood pressure back down. Lizzie got your hair up and you were grateful for her help. 

“Do you think dad will let me go?” You asked as she fixed your make up. 

“Dont think he can stop you. But, we’ve done business with his father. I think he’s worried this is apart of some elaborate plan.” 

“I don’t think so, but I’ll keep an eye on him” You were even more nervous now. Lizzie gave you lots of advice and you felt bad making her this worried. When you walked down stairs you could see Tommy talking to Noah at the door. 

You loved the way his face lit up when his eyes landed on you, he looked at you like you were the most beautiful thing in the world. You watched the front door swing shut, keeping him on the other side. 

“No.” He said firmly looking at Lizzie.

“Going to have to let her find her own way sometimes.” 

“No I don’t. Not with boys, not dressed like that.” He responded angrily. 

“Look, I told Finn where we are going, he said him and Isaiah would be around to keep an eye out. I’ve known him for the past two school years. I - please” You looked up at him in what you hoped were puppy dog eyes. You saw the conflict rage in his eyes.

“Fine.” He sighed in defeat. “But you don’t like something, anything, you call me from the restaurant and -” You cut him off with a big hug. 

“I won’t be out too late. Love ya” You said flying out the door before he could change his mind. 

__

He kissed you on the cheek on the door step, promising to take you out again next weekend. After saying goodnight you watched as he drove down the drive way before opening the front door.

You were surprised at how quiet it was. You slipped your shoes off and followed the lamp light into the sitting room. Much like the day with the storm, they sat on the sofa turned around to face the large window. You moved towards them to see your dad looking beyond relieved, and mum asleep on his lap. 

“So how was it then?” He asked you handing you the last bit of whiskey in his glass. You sat down next to him, watching him look you over for anything out of place. 

“Felt a bit like the Queen to be honest. More Blinders than people in that restaurant. Not to mention people watching from their windows.” You gave him a look as he started out the window. “But he was nice. I -He is nice, I enjoyed myself”

“Just for food then straight back?” 

“You already know that’s what happened. Can you help me get the pins out of my hair?” You turned away from him and felt him struggle to find them, pulling slightly too hard. 

“What? No, this is my job hands off.” Lizzie said groggily. “What did I miss? Tell me everything.” You felt the two of them shift and Lizzie's expert hands start bringing your hair down. By the time she’d gotten it brushed Polly and Esme had showed up for a full debrief in the kitchen. 

You were giggling like mad for hours with them, hearing their stories about past lovers. Some sweet, other cautionary. Eventually it was time for bed and you stopped into Tommy’s office before going to wash up. 

“Dad.” He gave you a shocked look then you realised what you had said. You didnt feel like apologizing though, too tired to make a big deal of it. You leaned over and gave him a hug. “Thanks for letting me go tonight.” You felt his arms wrap around you tightly. 

“I don't like it, and there will be lots to talk about tomorrow. But I'm happy that you're happy.” You kissed his cheek then headed up to bed. You knew that he’d probably already called Noah’s father, a tense conversation awaited you, but you had no doubt it was because he loved you.

@kpopgirlbtssvt

Tags List: Feel free to send a request or message to be added.

[clonehub]

this year it'll be the three year anniversary of the start of the #UnwhitewashTBB movement. it still exists. Part of the reason why it's not active is because TBB itself isn't active. Another reason is that I had to go on a break/hiatus with managing it for the sake of my own mental health. The endless harassment, stalking, and gaslighting was making me paranoid and had a noticeable negative impact on my physical health lol.

also, simply, life! I've grown distant from star wars due to a lack of interest with the new stuff they're putting out. I haven't felt that click in ages, and I was never a fan of repeating myself until I'm blue in the face, hence why I don't make as many posts about uwwtbb as I used to. What needs to be said has been said. I've seen every corner of pushback possible. It's going on three years and I'm immobile in my views.

Wish I could say I'm here today totally unscathed. You'll notice I rarely if ever engage with the fandom. Maybe you've seen how snappy I get/easily annoyed I am. Blame the bullshit with uwwtbb dissenters! People who've been here since 2017 when I first made this blog will remember how perky and outgoing and chatty I used to be.

(It's still possible. yes anon's been off the better part of....well probably more than a year at this point akjshdflksjdf but if I ever get around to drawing my OCs with regularly. well. i'll talk then!)

maybe now that I feel there's a "safe" distance between then and now, I'll start talking about it more again. Maybe now that I've blocked a huge number of dissenters (a lot of whom are basically inactive now, notice) I'll talk about the more specific problems that I faced having a stalker(s) and waking up to sexual harassment on a near-regular basis.

[wiltking]

(same person here) I would actually love a "starter fantasy list" or something similar, if you have anything like that! I've been trying to get back into fantasy lit as an adult, but i've admittedly had kind of a rough go of it.. :/ I like my fantasy best when it's weird and sincere, and that seems strangely harder to find now than it did when i was 8 and spending every second of my free time in the library. But maybe I'm just more jaded now, IDK. i'd appreciate any recs you've got, though! i haven't had much energy for reading recently, but i really, really want to get back to it this year. fingers crossed

also i feel like i should say that i don't...necessarily hate urban fantasy, under the right conditions it can be fun, I'm pretty sure I just got exposed to wayyyy too much of it when i was a high schooler and now i've built up some kind of resistance to it. it was completely inescapable (in my circles) in the 2010s and now it's like i can smell the genre conventions from a mile away. so if you have urban fantasy recs i wouldn't turn them down! it's just not suuuper high on my preference list

secret ending note: I know your main thing is drawing, but I'm pretty sure you like to write too - I remember you saying something a long time ago about how one of the main things that motivates you to write gay fiction is spite that there isn't better stuff out there already. and, tbh? my writing muscles are REALLY rusty, but if it turns out the only way to get the fantasy i want is that i have to write it my god damned self, then i /will/ pick up the pen again, faustian bargain though that may be

luckily for you i like to think 'weird and sincere' is my driving force. here's 5 titles in ascending order of density/difficulty, with each being either a single novel or duology: 1. Lord of the While Hell by ginn hale 2. The Fire's Stone by tanya huff 3. Obsidian Island by arden powell (*horror fantasy, but whimsical) 4. The Still by David Feintuch 5. Ariah by B.R. Sanders

If you're ready for weirder books or longer series, you can check out these lists:

M/M Fantasy Rec lists - my favorite m/m fantasies, no YA, though i'm very much a series guy and these recs might be a little overwhelming!

Old(er) LGBT Book recs - as it says on the tin, pre-2010 adult books with queer characters. some overlap with the m/m list but also contains scifi, and other types of queer fantasies

and yes, i still write! i've been throwing my head at the keyboard with spite and sincerity in my veins for a few years now. most of what i have available is fanfiction (a great way to get back into writing, imo) but i have originals in the works too. it definitely helps keep me sane, and writing for the sake of making the stories you want to read is one of the best reasons to go for it. best of luck!!

[kxhbee]

Love From You

Part Three

~ Rowan Laslow x Reader

~ Friends to lovers

~ Fluff, light angst

~ 1,680 words

~ You fell first but Rowan fell harder

~ Not my best work

~ Not proof read

Key:

~ Y/N: YOUR NAME

~ Y/L/N: YOUR LAST NAME

~ A/N: AUTHORS NOTE

A/N:

I’m so sorry this took longer than I wanted! I wrote an alternate version of this (specified in bottom a/n.) and I’ve had a pretty busy week. But here’s part three! There will be a part four :)

Distracted by all the happiness you were feeling right now from finally talking to Rowan and even having his hand in your own, you completely forgot about the plans you made earlier.

This includes the person that’s standing right outside the Nurse’s office, gaping at the people in front of her.

“Oh. My. God.” She squeals. “You finally spoke to him.”

“Enid…” You can already hear the secrets that are about to be shared and the things she’s going to say to embarrass you, as if you preordered them. God it would be useful if I could pre-hear what Enid was going to say. That way I could embarrass her before she gets a chance.

“It was about time. I didn’t really want to hear ‘Oh my god,’” She puts on an impression of you. “E, I wanna talk to Ro so much but I don’t know how to start a conversation with him. I’ve written so many stupid letters it’s insane.’” She grins at her impression, clearly proud of her accuracy and success in embarrassing you.

Your face goes red when Rowan’s face appears in your line of vision. He’s smiling softly and his head is tilted so he can see you.

“Ro?” He asks, a light blush sitting on his cheeks.

“Thank you so much, Enid.” You say sarcastically. “I’m walking Rowan to his dorm now. I’ll meet you back at my dorm.”

“Okay then! Have fun! I’m sure all that kissing practice will come in handy now.” She winks and skips away humming, a bag of soft drinks and snacks swinging from her hand.

“Oh my god, please ignore her, she lies for fun.” You turn away from him to hide your face. Enid didn’t waste one second.

“You called me Ro?” Turn around and look at him Y/N for God’s sake. Stop being a coward. You turn back to him, and his soft smile is gone. Instead, a smile wider than you’ve ever seen on him is on his face. How has my face gotten even hotter??

“Maybe…” You smile back, beginning to walk down the hallway. “Is that a bad thing?”

“No…” He mumbles shyly. “I like it… I’ve never had a nickname before.”

“Seriously?? Your family never gave you one?”

“I don’t count ‘Ro-barb’ as a nickname. Courtesy to my mother and her… odd choice to nick name me after a rhubarb.”

“What?” You chuckle. “I think that’s adorable. My one wasn’t any better, I got called “Pumpkin-Bumpkins” by my sister for 6 years straight. And still counting.”

“Still counting?”

“Yep. If you meet her at the parents day she will ruffle your hair.” Using your unoccupied hand, you reach up and ruffle his hair with the most aggression you can. Gotta make it seem like the real thing. “Just. Like. That”. You draw your hand back, smiling. He really does look adorable when his hair is messy.

“She must be an older sister then.” He says, returning the smile again. “Will she really do it that aggressively?”

“If you thought that was aggressive, you’re in for a treat,” You make a turn onto some stairs as you talk. “and you’re right. She’s about 20 now. She used to come here. Mind reader. One-of-a-kind.” You wave your hand around dramatically.

“I’ve never heard of a mind reader Nevermore student.”

“Yep. Would’ve been cool if I got her powers. All I got was some shit I can’t control.”

“You can’t control your powers?”

“Nope. I don’t even know what they area So far I’ve… accidentally set fire to my desk at my Normie school- the one I was at before I transferred here, because I was stressed about a surprise test, smashed a glass souvenir with my mind because I was disappointed that I got expelled from said Normie school, and some other stuff.”

“Like throwing me across the room with your mind?”

You stop and gape at him.

I forgot I would need to have this conversation.

“Surely you didn’t believe that I thought a fencing sword did that damage.”

“Aren’t you mad?” You ask cautiously. All this work to get to a friendly point with him is about to go out of the window…

“Are you kidding? From your reaction I assumed that you had no idea what you were doing. Of course I’m not mad.” He stated matter-of-factly. “I could never be mad at you.” He mutters the last part under his breath.

“What was that?” You ask, a teasing tone to your voice.

“Nothing…”

“Right… anyway, it’ll happen less. I’m taking extra lessons so we can figure out what the hell is going on. Hopefully I stop sending you flying across the room.” You wink at him.

He laughs nervously, his cheeks turning a light pink.

“Well if you need some more help… I’m here? I mean, I can’t help as much as the teachers can but I can help in some way.”

He stops walking and stands out the front of a dorm door, letting go of your hand. You can’t help but feel slightly disappointed.

“This is my room… um… thank you, Y/N. For everything you did Today. That includes throwing me across the room.”

You laugh.

“You’re welcome, Ro.” You watch his face go slightly redder at the use of the nickname and you smile at him. “And thank you, for the help offer. I’ll definitely take you up on it, especially if it means I get to spend more time with you.”

Smooth Y/N. Good job.

“That’s great then! I’ll um… see you around.” He opens his door but you put your hand on top of his, which was resting on the doorknob.

“Wait… sorry if this is sudden, but can I,” You take a breath in. I won’t get a yes if I don’t ask. “Can I get your phone number?”

Silence. He looks down at your hand that’s still resting on his and you pull it back. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked him. You’re about to apologise but he pulls his phone out of his pocket.

“Just um… just give me a second. I don’t have it memorised.”

You pull your phone out and hand it to him. He pushes his glasses, which had fallen down a bit, up higher on his nose. Every single thing that this man does leaves you weak at the knees. Surely it’s not healthy to love the way someone does every little thing. Like the way he takes his blazer off when the Greenhouse gets too hot. Or the reflection his glasses leave on the walls, tables and floors when the sun shines on it. Or the way he loops his handwriting when taking notes. You’re completely starstruck by him, but are you complaining?

It takes you a while to realise that he’s done. He holds the phone out to you, waiting for you to take it.

“I’ve also put my instagram in there… I hope that’s okay.”

“Oh! No that’s okay, I’ll follow you right now.” You tap the ‘request follow’ button on his profile and look back up at him.

“Wait… stand still.” You open the camera app and point the camera at him.

“I need a contact photo for you… smile! You can take one of me too.” He smiles awkwardly. It catches his personality perfectly.

“Can’t we… take a selfie?”

“That’s an even better idea! Come.” You pull him close and wrap an arm around his shoulders, holding up the peace sign. It’s your go-to pose, as is most people’s. Rowan looks up at the camera and smiles again, but this smile seems more genuine. You can’t help but notice the light touch of pink lingering on his face. It ties the photo together well.

You send the photo to him and finally say goodbye, feeling happier than you have in a long time.

“You guys are so cute.”

“AH WHAT THE FUCK.”

Enid laughs.

“How long have you been there? I thought I was meeting you at my dorm?”

“I got bored so I decided to catch up with you.”

“Did you even make it to my dorm?”

“No.” She says, holding the bag up so it’s level with her face. “I got bored.”

“Okay. Fair enough.”

“So… you and Rowan, huh?”

“Oh come on. We’re just friends.”

“You held hands.” She points out.

“We hold hands.”

“Point taken.”

__________________________________________

After making sure the door was closed, Rowan leans against it, sliding down to sit on the floor, the photo that Y/N sent to him open on his phone. Someone wants to be my friend. Someone actually wants to be my friend!

It’s been far too long since Rowan had made a friend. He’d tried- of course he had tried. But he had zero luck, so he believed he was destined to be an outcast.

Until someone showed up with their perfectly enchanting smile and threw him across a room.

“What was all that about?”

Rowan scrambled to his feet, turning his phone off as fast as he could.

“Oh. Hi. I thought you were at fencing.”

“Just came back.” Xavier throws his helmet onto his bed and takes a seat at his desk.

You can see the complete difference in personalities between Rowan Laslow and Xavier Thorpe just by looking at their shared room. It’s split almost perfectly down the center, with two desks on the same wall. Xavier’s desk looks like the rest of his room- there’s clutter everywhere; clothes, books, pencils, a towel draped over his chair, his school bag sitting messily on the floor, and his bed is unmade. Rowan’s side however is much neater. His books are stacked neatly in a bookshelf, his drawers contain all of his clothes, cleaned and folded, his pencils and pens are ordered neatly in pencil holders, and his bag is sitting on a shelf above his shoe rack.

They could not be more different. Which is exactly why Rowan is in full belief that he and Xavier Thorpe will never be able to get along as friends.

“So. What was that all about?”

A/N:

Hi! The alternative I had drafted was one where Xavier opened the door and saw Y/N and Rowan before he let go of your hand, and started teasing you guys. If you’d like the alternative let me know!

I’m also planning to build a friendship with Rowan and Xavier, and I’d like to put Wenclair in this fic but I don’t want to upset people who don’t ship them, so I’ll think about it before I add them.

This wasn’t proof read, so I’m sorry if it’s got any errors.

Hope you enjoyed :)

- Kai

[lizaluvsthis]

What got you to start drawing the boys do you take requests? Cause I like the cafe au

IT MIGHT SEEM CRAZY ON WHAT IM BOUT TO S-

When I said I've been a SMG4 fan for 4 years, I left the channel for i dunno how many weeks or months has it been. Then one day I saw WOTFI 2023 recommended in my youtube page and was.

"Wotfi 2023? But I thought- wait- who are these characters again?"

Turns out I forgot that Ive only seen SMG4 and SMG3's (cocomelon ass) designs during wotfi 2022 where it was both of their first redesigns from the movie. I stopped watching for a bit cuz I got busy.

Then I came back to see they were both redesigned in a better version now. Now that I thought about "where was their second redesign then?"

So I knew that I had to binge watch every single episodes from smg4's channel right after wotfi 2022

I then saw how much Three has changed ever since after the 2022th christmas episode.

If I were to be honest, watching igbp for the first time in my life even Mar10 day. I was about 85% sure that Smg3 worries too much for Smg4's sake.

They both are cosmically linked and three can feel what the other of his partner is feeling soooooo?

*circles both of my hands*

Three's gay. He looked fruity he felt fruity. During the movie and during right after he helped four's ass to get his channel back from running again.

It suddenly gave me some time for my brain to tell me "DUDE WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS COULD BE A HINT- THIS IS MAYBE AN ENEMIES TO LOVERS!" I responded to my brain like- HELL YEAH I'M NOTING THAT DOWN.

Cuz I cant just sit here and just "watch the movie without sayin nothin" I HAD to do something AND make analysis about it because thats what I do when I notice simple details!

So when smg3 confessed those feelings of his to Smg4 and even running to save his life back again and even after saying "we're friends!" This gave me a bit of a shock. Three. Did you know what you did? Did you realize how much it meant for smg4? Did you FORGET- that you said you and him werent friends during the 2020th wotfi?

So then after all of this time... that means smg3 has been the one and always a tsundere to smg4

Even after the castle disappeared, him and three's chemistry started going into an actual progress from both of their chemistry from the relationship.

Thats a dedication for me right there. I do it not only for fun, I do it for my wants, have, and needs.

I know its funny for a minor like me to do all of this dedicaded in just a simple job, I have all kinds of specialities to include my works and skills and use them for this fandom again from how I did to the past ones. (But those past fandoms are dead-)

Ahem- what was I talking about again? Oh right- 3 and 4... sorry got a little bit too chatty-

So I noticed even more about Smg3's notebook and was like- "gahd damn- three had his own personal notebook this whole time?! Whats even inside of it? I'm curious..." so yeah-

Now jumping to where I watched 2023 of wotfi again (twice now) to see its context about it- I was flabberGHASTED in after the "drawing" and also the mysterious tv guy whose also appearing on as the final antagonist in the modern era and a new one from the new era.

"Holysht. This is about to go bonkers for the fans making up stuff about those 'what-ifs' that smg4 made from the previous video back then. (The part where waluigi won or desti being alive)

I'm curious enough to see what happens and even if its about tv adware. Yes too.

(THERE. In November I started to become quite more invested from the fandom and decided to drop in my luggage and load out all of my junks called Info-Analysis?)

So- hello! (Again-) :D it was a pleasure meeting every and one of you all- I stopped in just to come back from the fandom that I never made commentary about but now I can ^^

I started with doodling and knowing basic anatomy and shapes of SMG3 and SMG4's design (the new one) so that I could start on doodling about them. But what I didnt expect for myself is that I had created a long time chapter of "Indigo Secret" that wasn't supposed to be there on purpose.

It was just supposed to be a "silly" comic about it from where ■■■■■■■■ to ■■■■■■■ about the problem and then the part in this that came into ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ from ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■

*BEEP*

I took myself a big motive after my blog gained 10+ followers and more notes. I thought working here 24/7 would make me feel something more for destiny and the trip!

So- yeah. Work. :) even when I'm at school I also complete my assignments and all of the shts and after that I can continue on with continuing the pages and with some cute doodles with the boys from a scenario playing through my head.

Now you have me making all of this and that ^^

Thats whay I'm popular for :)

--

---

--

2nd answer...

Thank you for liking the cafe au! It means so much to the both for me and shay from the collab to move on!

I did say from my boundaries I take free art request 1 at a time only- and I could allow a second art request if I do have the time ^^

Yes I do take art request :)

(Except for-

oc-shipping with SMG3/SMG4 cuz they're both together in the au

NSFW

Some stuff that I can't approve on-)

Ask away :)

Thanks for asking me stuffs anon I really enjoy talking ^^

[hopefull-mindset]

Hello this is my main for @/dazai-on-my-mind I was going through your abuse post (have yet to finish it so forgive me if you've discussed this already) what are your theories for what lies under Dazai's bandages? The main fan theories that I've seen so far is that they're either covering self inflicted injuries or Mori experimented on Dazai at times during his Port Mafia days but again coming from your abuse post this theory seems highly unlikely. So I was wondering if you had any thoughts about that.

Hello! Sorry this took a bit. I saw your other ask, so I'll try to get to that. It's absolutely fine you haven't finished it. I'm personally surprised at how long it is myself. I actually haven't talked about what is under Dazai’s bandages, so sure! I also have some brief thoughts on the bandages itself.

(Edit: that was not brief, it turns out I had a lot of thoughts)

It's an average topic with this fandom, so I don't know how much I can add really!

We do know he has scars from what Oda said in Dark Era:

And we also get this tidbit from Harukawa talking about designing Dazai:

The special thing about this series was that apart from the settings from Asagiri, the characters probably should have certain aspects of the authors they were based on, but I tried to draw them based on the character settings first when doing up the initial drafts. […] For Dazai, I wrapped him up in bandages because of his suicide mania, and took note with other items.

—Harukawa35, Behind The Scenes of The Character Design!

Of course, the intent behind what the bandages are and what is behind them can change over time when they get to know their own characters better! They look like they're implying two different things, but I'd argue it's the exact same thing, even if they come from different places.

Out of all the assumptions, what's under there is probably scars he gained while throwing his life away in the face of danger, even when he doesn't need to. It's no different than the average suicide attempt by him. I wonder if he has a scar from the Old Boss’s scythe, that'd be sick. This is what sounds most likely to me, but I’ll entertain other ideas for the sake of it being too short of a note to end on.

You can obviously tell I don’t dig the idea of Mori committing medical malpractice. Not only is that an insane idea to come by, how does he even benefit from that thought process? The only type of stuff happening is Mori forcing him to take his vaccinations and taking drugs Dazai got from his medicine cabinet out of his young hands. I also think people think this way because of what he said about Mori telling him the shots won't hurt in The Day I Picked Up Dazai Side A.

A doctor is telling a child his shots won't hurt… ??? Sounds pretty normal.

I know people won't like it when I say this, but that was typical teenage Dazai childishness. He does genuinely not like pain of course, so it could be that he's overexaggerating because that's what it felt like to him haha. That scene is meant to be comedic, so this sentiment shouldn't be that serious in context. It's not like this is idk Black Butler.

I remember in Side B that Dazai says pain is what reminds you that you're alive. Maybe that's why he doesn't like it, even if he was a torture specialist. To understand death, you have to understand what it is to be alive because life is both of those things. Dazai prefers the state of being dead rather than the process, but also thinks the attempt is easier than actually committing. Dear god, your commitment issues don't need to go this far.

As for self-harm, it's pretty 50/50 with enough arguments on both sides to make a case. Dazai doesn’t like pain, but people don't usually do it because they like the feeling of the pain itself. They could do it to punish themselves, the feeling of it afterward, etc. I think Dazai putting himself in those situations like I mentioned earlier counts enough as self-harm (you can even count his implicit drinking habits too if you'd like), but this specifically on what I know you mean just depends on whether you think Dazai would do so.

I can't imagine it from Dazai, but if people think so, there's nothing stopping them from it. There's nothing implying he wouldn't, suicidal people don't always resort to this. I’m personally just tired of people using it for their whump narratives, in all fandoms actually.

I don’t care much for it if that’s what they’d like to do because I understand, but it’s not something I like being depicted in weirdly graphic detail for no reason other than the character to suffer. Besides that, there no harm in it. I don’t want to get all “you shouldn’t write this stuff because I said so”, that’s stupid.

(-150 points if it’s for white knighting ship content)

Now I hope you don’t mind me rambling off a bit! It’s been on my mind since last week to talk about the bandages.

Symbolically, the bandages can mean a couple things. All very similar things haha. It’s like what Chuuya’s gloves are to him and how personal it is to take them off outside of Corruption, or how he said he used to put his hands in his pockets because he wanted to protect his humanity while fighting.

Core things they can mean are:

A thin barrier to separate and hide himself from others (including from himself)

To minimize skin contact from his ability aka himself (not as literal as it sounds)

Abilities in Bungou Stray Dogs are apart of the user. No matter if you move your ability on to your child (Kyouka and her Mother), have it be mutilated into something unrecognizable (Verlaine, Chuuya), or to naturally be imbedded into you, you cannot separate it from your humanity. It’s still you, as Atsushi had to eventually accept this fact.

You can say a lot about the nature of abilities and 55 Minutes made some worrying discussion points about Abilities that I wish were touched on more by others, but let’s go with first thought process because it’s the one Asagiri let’s us off easy with.

No Longer Human, as Asagiri told us, is based off of the feeling he got when reading Dazai Osamu’s writing. Functionally, his ability is a bit horrifying to me as something born from himself. Maybe I just overreact, but when you translate what his ability mean functionally against every ability user we know, you can come up with interesting conclusions.

It’s not like how Atsushi can cut through abilities as a Tiger as I’m sure that was meant to imply something about his psychological breakthrough and combating other’s soul born abilities with his own. Dazai just straight up takes away other’s abilities. As long as he’s touching you, you have become a victim to his soul’s vacuum of searching for humanity or lack there of.

That’s not to say others who don’t have abilities aren’t human, I think the difference is that ability users are forced to put a part of their humanity up for show and scrutiny, which makes them appear inhuman to the average human being. Dazai is as paradoxical as his own ability. He’s functionally the average human being, but he also lacks something… human when you put him up against another ability user.

Sorta this middle ground in what to think and how he also tends to be. When I read No Longer Human, it popped out to me too often that Yozo Oba was incredibly human while putting himself in this position of inhumanity.

When Dazai’s ability is in effect, he takes away a piece of your humanity, making your less than who you were before. So when Dazai covers skin with his bandages, he’s covering up the metaphorical cavity that is his ability and inhumanity. When the bandages starts going everything when he’s using his ability, he’s swallowing that piece whole and embracing you falling to his level.

Am I overanalyzing a stylistic choice that usually only appears in official art? Yes, but it’s fun.

You can tell I skipped the first one, but that’s because it has to do with an example that’s been the reason I keep thinking about this and it sounded more fun to talk about. In the Onsen CD Drama, there’s two scenes I want to put emphasis one.

The first one being when Dazai says that they’re all getting closer because of them being in the hot spring, but Kunikida calls out the fact he’s still wearing his bandages. I could’ve passed it off as being not that significant because it’s a joke scene if it weren’t for the next one.

Atsushi wanted to wash Dazai’s back since Kunikida had been occupied and he wanted to help them like they did for him, but Dazai had already walked away. Later when they’re still awake while the others had slept, Atsushi tries again and actually gets the opportunity to do it. Only problem, Dazai still has his bandages on. Dazai just tells him it’s okay and to scrub anyway.

This made me feel… how do I say this… speechless? Not because Dazai was entirely insistent on them being apart of his body like the troll he is, but because of the simultaneous intimacy of the act and abruption of it with the bandages. You can pass it off as a running joke, but we both know Dazai absolutely heard Atsushi thank him and avoided that confrontation by playing it off as being sleepy.

I’ve said this a couple times to people I’ve talked to before, but Dazai is the type of guy who you would talk to every day, invite you everywhere, and always go out with a lot of people, but if you were to be asked what you personally know about him, you’d be able to say nothing but surface level stuff everyone knows.

With anyone and everyone, there’s always this level of personal separation between them and Dazai, and they know it. Even if you are closer to him like Oda and Chuuya are and Dazai had willing shared stuff usually wouldn’t (mind you, it took Mimic for Dazai to share more about himself to Oda and Ango), he doesn’t let himself be that vulnerable or let himself go.

I’m arguing that the bandage are a more literal barrier between him and the world. Either to protect himself or to protect others from what they’ll realize about him. He hides himself because of what he is…or something like that at least, I don’t know what goes though his head. Im still trying to figure out his perception on things thoroughly and if he really cares about it.

The eye bandage has been talked to death by now. Yes yes, Dazai left his eye covered for depth perception in the dark and Oda uncovering it for him to see the light as well. We all know it. Still, I think it’s quite meaningful that when he’s finally having an heart-to-heart with Odasaku, he’s the one to open up that bandage. It doesn’t fix everything, but he’s been opened up to that possibility.

For Beast, Dazai having a bandage on the other eye can be seen as a misguided attempt of seeing everything with Oda in mind by seeing it all in the eye he uncovered, but still needing to cover the other to guide himself in the dark. He’s also a mirror image of the original Dazai if you’d like to see it like that.

In Side B, Dazai covers his whole face up. Ironically, while I called the bandages on his body a cover up for his inhumanity, the face bandages cover up his emotions, suppressant of himself. Dazai is not typically that emotional, but Side B Dazai is going through a lot when it comes to Odasaku… so while he’s covering his face to hide it from Oda, he is also hiding the overwhelming feelings he has.

In the ending of Side B where he takes off the dirty bandages, he’s so wracked with emotion he almost fails himself in his plans, and presumably forces himself to cover up his one eye again. When he falls to his death in the ending of Beast, bandages fall when he’s able to let himself go.

In the manga, Hoshikawa was evil and drew the bandages falling into Oda’s hands. Let’s say… they’re a symbol of his protect of Oda and remembrance of the scene where Oda pulls them off. You can even say they where still taken off with Oda’s influence!

OKAY ENOUGH, I’m talking you ears off. It seems I like the sound of my own voice and wanted to share as much as I could.

[nonsensical-gashi]

Things that could make wish a better movie, and more rant stuff

Magnífico seems to be evil for the sake of being evil, he has a point, and he was the authority..... So why was he so cartoonish. He never felt like a king, and the authority that he should hold.

You can be a narcissist and not be evil. It seems that he cares more about himself rather than having a place to live in peace (without taking into account the kingdom, just thinking is a good life)

I was expecting a sad song when Asha ran to the tree, why was she so happy, your core beliefs as part of society just got destroyed.

It could have been such a great story if Asha granted everyone's wish, and that turned wrong. Like, this has good consequences and bad consequences, but you never stopped to see the bad thing and now you have to think how to solve this.

This could lead to the MAIN CORE OF THE ORIGINAL DISNEY MOVIES, like Cinderella, to grant a wish to good people that really need help, not to everyone, and not to every good person. You need to be critical to choose which wish to grant (and how you're going to grant it), but with a new perspective.

We didn't need a song full of singing animals. The song doesn't explain much about the star. It just feels like they're throwing a philosophy to everyone.

Magnífico was so powerful, but when he thought there was a single menace related to magic it looked like his first option was the book. He didn't even go to see what happened.

I wanted more meaningful situations between Asha and her family.

I wanted the mother to retrieve her wish, to be "I appreciate that you wanted to return my gift, but gived it to the King for a reason, I like rosas and this is what I gave to live here" and gave it back when he magnífico arrived at her home. To prove that she respects her king.

If the goat was an old goat it could lead to a cute scene, where Valentino talks to Asha about something that he knows about her father but she doesn't know. Maybe a moment where her father helped him, or talked about something important, leading to a revelationor emotional grow (Like Tadashi video in BH6 or Tiana with Facilier, at the end of the movie)

Less jokes because he was a naive new born goat, that doesn't add much to the plot.

The target audience in this movie is confusing. It's supposed to be a kid move first and a family movie second..... But I doubt that any kid from this generation has seen snow white. I don't know how to fully articulate this point tho. I wanted it to be a gratitude letter to all the people that had been watching them for the last 40 years (or more). There's a huge audience that was watching every single Disney movie just because it was Disney.

We want star boy

There should have been an additional reason to hold on to everyone's wish, like, I use it energy to make this land better (better soil, a good weather, etc) without harming our people, and that doesn't mean that he's making himself powerful just to make himself powerful. Like my magic makes this a good kingdom, and the wished enhances that power to be even better.

And, by using the corrupted magic, the system that provides a good place to live is infected. And not just "I should have started to drain wished long time ago"

Now I want to draw about this ideas.......

[maythearo]

Yeah! The g3!! I know it has certainly been a uhhhh controversial topic lol

Imo draculaura looks sooo cute

Certainly lolll

You know how it goes I'm gonna ramble again so I'll put the read more thing for the sake of scrolling past it 😭

Well I'll start off by saying that, in this era of reboots and mass adaptations of every mildly old franchsie ever, is kinda impossible to avoid negative reactions from the people who were fans of the first generation of such franchises, because it happens, when someone takes something you grew up with and changes it to a modern audience most people's reaction will be "what in the world that's not how it was back in my days" + the phenomenon of older generations not liking the stuff that comes all for younger generations and etc. And I mention all of this bcs this definetely affects how people's opinions on things such as design (of MH in this case) go, there's lots of strong biases in this conversation of reboots and all

And tbh I wasn't immune to that 💀 at first I didn't like a lot of small decisions they made because I was used to the old one and "the og's always better" type of opinion, monster high was a big part of my childhood and probably a big boost to my interest in art! Which is what I live for baisically nowadays so ofc I felt strongly about it 😭 but when I came back after some time I realized, hey it's not that serious. I don't even remember specifically what those things I criticized were about, so that's an indicator of how much I actually cared, deep down lol. Like, pink Lagoona did not kill me, can you believe that? /s.

My opinion as of now, is that I think the g3 designs are really cute on their own!! I'm gonna stop myself from comparing it to the first gen because for the most part that's a waste of time and also a huge tangent from where I want to get 😭 recent reboots are a product of this era and they adapt accordingly. Sometimes they hit sometimes they miss, I think g3 mh is going well mostly!

(Talking about the concept designs and doll designs in this part) g3 takes from general modern fashion, clothing-wise the characters are not draaastically different from each other, they all just dress like how teenagers nowadays do but each got their own little motifs to their wardrobes. I don't think this "lack of difference" between each other's outfits is an enormous one nor is it inherently a bad thing because hey, if it looks good it looks good, and you can distinguish their clothings between one another just fine imo. In some cases I got some nickpicking in terms of "the pattern of this shirt is not working with these pants" or "whoa there's a lot going on with these colors" or "they really love to put bright pink lipstick on everyone huh" but it's rarely something I heavily dislike (only cases I can remember are that I wasn't a fan of was Heath 💀 feels like halfway through the process of his design mattel said "no you can stop now he's good like that" nothing is happening with that look, it's crazy, what happened to my boy. And Twyla, that wasn't as bad a s Heath's, but it just didn't work for me)

I can't say anything about the quality of the material of the dolls themselves bcs I don't have any of the new ones but oh my god, I also think Draculaura is adorable 😫 I think Venus dropped too recently and I'd buy her for sure!! The braided hair is everything and her fashion sense is probably one of my favorites so far? I also love Abbey's doll, and Frankie too especially that one line that they got a guitar? Instrument? Rockstar theme I think? (I'd cosplay that, no joke) from what I can see the designs are putting a lot more variety on drawing and sculpting different body types, features and details on the dolls and I think that's super fucking awesome! G1 also experimented with facial features and details on the body every once in a while but not as nicely done as now!

For the animated series I understand they had to tone it down to some extent because inserting all details the dolls and concept art had could lead to technical trouble (I think), so it isn't fair to compare them to one another. I'm just gonna ignore the animated series in terms of design for now, cause it's in the dolls and in illustration that a franchise like monster high work best anyway. I don't think much abt the cartoon tbh and I'm also not up to most episodes, idk who else dropped recently. But honorable mention, in the standards of the animated series my favorite designs are Deuce and Medusa for sure

That's long enough of a post so I'm gonna stop right hereeee, this was more of an overview of the g3 as a whole rather than ratings of each character, but yeah! I'm no longer a hater, I'm ok 👍 (if you're one of the people who heard me extensively complain over g3 before in another social, honestly I don't even know what it could have been about but you know what, disconsider it, it's easier that way 😭) I may have more opinions about it but that's all I could remember for now. Also my brain is fried.

And I can always change my mind on this, so there's that! Someone get me a Venus and Frankie doll rn please and thank you