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bitsandbobsofwriting · 3 years

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All 6 of the Knights know about Merlin's magic, but all think they're the only one to know:

So the Knights (Arthur, Gwaine, Percival, Elyan, Leon, Lancelot) + Merlin are like,,,, investigating something

Ya know, the norm

They're out in the woods tracking down some really mean dude, and whadya know? They get attacked by bandits, as per

So, as per, Merlin hides behind a tree, keeping a careful eye on the fighting

(The knights are drastically outnumbered, BUT they're far more skilled than the bandits so it basically evens out.)

Only planning to step in, to make their own luck, when he needs to, he waits

Everything is going fine, and Merlin need only sit and watch...

UNTIL!

One more person creeps out from the shadows, and begins chanting, the knights notice this of course, and are, all of a sudden, made painfully aware that the bandit attack had just been a distraction to keep them busy, so the sorcerer could step in and do some evil shit

But distraction or not, they still need to actually subdue these arseholes with swords before they can do anything about the sorcerer

BUT that is taking far too long and as the chanting grows louder, Lancelot throws a glance Merlins way, and nods, before giving a shout in an effort to draw attention to himself, and away from Merlin

Merlin follows his cue to step out from his hiding place, but before he can drop a tree branch or something similar onto the head of the sorcerer, he's spotted

The sorcerer looks his way as he stops chanting, let's out a shout-

"Emrys!! You filthy traitor!"

- and throws his arm out towards Merlin, who instinctively, before he even realises what he's doing, extends his own arm in retaliation

Both pairs of eyes glow brighter and brighter, and streams of colour extend from each of their arms, meeting in the middle with an explosion of light that seems far brighter on the sorcerer's (or the...not-Merlin) side

Merlin had clearly overpowered the other sorcerer, but everyone is thrown to the floor with a bang

Merlin conks his head, not dangerously hard, not enough to bleed, but hard enough to leave him properly dazed for a few seconds, and confuse his thoughts

Those few seconds are enough to leave the bandits scampering off into the night in fear, and for the sorcerer to spit at the floor before quickly following them, obviously unimpressed with the fact that he was beaten

Those few seconds are ALSO long enough, for Merlin to look up, and see that the knights have rushed to stand in a circle around him

For a moment, Merlin fears that they mean to tie him down, or even kill him on the spot....

....that is until he realises that none of them are even looking at him, and are instead gesturing their swords wildly at each other, and shouting incomprehensibly, leaving Merlin very confused (not helped by the obvious concussion)

As his vision clears, he takes note of everyones position

Lancelot stands the closest to him, his sword pointed at Arthur (who is opposite him in the circle), shouting something about loyalty and fear and bravery

Arthur in return is pointing his sword at Leon (though is yelling at everyone in the circle), Leon has his sword pointed back at Arthur

Elyan has a sword pointed at Lancelot

Percival and Gwaine have somehow managed to gain second swords, with Percival pointing one at Elyan, and one at Gwaine,

Gwaine is pointing one at Percival, and the other at Arthur

(To help, it's looking like this, the colour of the arrow references who the sword is pointing at)

Merlins head hurts, and he's very confused at why everyone is yelling at each other and not him

Well he understands Lancelot shouting in his defense but....what was going on??

Despite the noise, Lancelot notices Merlin look up, and immediately calls:

"Merlin! Get behind me, quick!"

Merlin tilts his head but goes to move towards Lancelot. He doesn't really understand what's going on but,,,, he remembers doing magic, and not the subtle kind he normally goes for

but his head hurts and he's tired, and Lancelot is the only one who knows his secret, so doing what he says right now is probably the safest option for him to take at the moment

But before he can take more than one stumbled step:

"NO, Merlin I won't let anyone hurt you, come here, my friend." from Leon, (loud and forceful, but gentle as well) stops him in his tracks

At this, Gwaine let's out a growl, and both him and Lancelot move the swords previously pointed at Arthur, to Leon's direction

Merlin is even more confused at this point, and Arthur yelling-

"Absolutely Not! Get your scrawny arse over hear Merlin you idiot, I'm the King, I wont let ANY harm come to you, I swear."

- does NOT help matters

At this, Merlin reckons it's best to just stand still. His head hurts and his magic has been outed and everyone was shouting at him. Probably best to just,,,, wait it out and see what happens. His head hurts

In all honestly, he's not quite sure any of this is real, I mean he wasn't really sure what the sorcerer was chanting before the big explosion thingy, could've been anything. His head hurts, he thinks again

Maybe he hit it harder than he thought

Everyone has stopped shouting at this point, though the swords stay raised, every one of them obviously prepared to jump into battle ("with each other?? " Merlin thinks) at a moments notice

Elyan, quietly "Are you alright Merlin? You hit your head pretty hard. Everything's going to be ok just.... step behind me, I'll protect you."

When he first starts speaking, the others growl, and go to yell over him,,,, by the end of his demand, they all quiet down, and furrow their brows, though they all keep their swords high

It's Percival who speaks next:

"Wait.... are we all trying to protect Merlin?"

Gwaine shouts at this:

"I won't let any of you hurt him! He may have magic but he just saved us, and I'll run the King himself through if I have to in order to keep him safe!"

(if Arthur wasn't preoccupied with....well everything that's happening, he would be offended at the notion that his Knight is far more loyal to his manservant than him)

It's Leon again next:

"Shut up, Gwaine, did all of you...wait. Who knew about Merlins...magic, before now?"

All of them look nervously at each other, but Lancelot is the first to nod, with a:

"I won't let him be punished for bravery."

Despite threatening to kill each other for Merlin, none of them are looking him during this conversation, he however is following whoever is speaking with his eyes, becoming more and more confused... do all of them...know??

Percival and Elyan nod at the same time, and Gwaine (who is looking more serious than any of them have ever seen him) clench his jaw before letting out a low:

"I knew."

Leon looks at Arthur next, whose brow is deeply furrowed, his mouth open slightly, as he give a slow nod

It's Leon, who slowly lowers his sword first, closely followed by Elyan, Pervival. Gwaine follows them, and then Arthur, but Lancelot keeps his sword aimed at the King

"Lower your sword Lancelot, it would appear, that all of us are attempting to protect Merlin from... each other." From Arthur finally has Lancelot relaxing slightly

"...uuh, Lancelot?" From Merlin draws everyones attention back to him, and his very confused (and slightly fearful) face

Lancelot goes to rush towards him, but before his first step even lands, everyone has at least one sword pointed in his direction, quick as lightening,

He huffs as he drops his own sword to the floor:

"Look, we all know about Merlin's magic, and we're all trying to protect him alright? Come off it guys, we need to check his head."

Everyone fully relaxes at that, but it's Leon who reaches Merlin first (he had always been freakishly fast, the bastard) and as he gently tilts Merlin's head forward so he can take a look at the back of it, Arthur puts one hand on Merlin's shoulder, the other still gripping his sword tightly

Merlin is looking very surprised at all this, but his head still hurts and no one seems to be trying to build a pyre or bring out the cuffs, and Lancelot seems relaxed so...that's a good thing right?

He allows Leon to examine his head with no resistance at all,

"He's almost certainly concussed, so we'll need to keep an eye on him for a day or two, but he'll be fine, he's not bleeding and his skull isn't cracked."

Leon steps back from the dark haired manservant, and Merlin looks over his shoulder to give him a dopey smile.

Arthur, with his hand still tightly on Merlin's shoulder, starts giving orders, Percival and Gwaine were to see if they can track down the horses, who had been spooked in the attack, but were trained well to stay close by (and also had all their packs still on them)

Gwaine starts with a "Look princess, if you think I'm leaving Merlin with Uther's so-"

But is interrupted by Percival telling him to shut up, and dragging him in the direction of where the horses were last stood.

Elyan is to starting to build a fire, and Leon and Lancelot are to double check the perimeter, and collect anything left by the bandits in their hasty retreat

Lancelot looks to Merlin for confirmation, a silent "you ok with me going?" hangs in the air, and Arthur looks as though he's going to start yelling again, but Merlin's head hurts and he really doesnt want that, so he gives Lancelot a slight nod, and smile.

Lancelot glances at Arthur once more, face drawn and serious, before walking towards Leon, waiting at the edge of the clearing

Arthur watches them go, before finally settling his gaze in Merlin, and tilting his head slightly in question

Merlins response-

"My head hurts :( "

-causes Arthur to huff out a small laugh before attempting to get Merlin settled against a log, close ish to where Elyan is getting the fire lit

After half an hour or so, everyone is back at camp, the horses have successfully been returned to camp, and are grazing off to the side. The fire is roaring, and Elyan is cooking what had been caught for dinner earlier in the day

Merlin is sat in the same place as he was before, though he seems to now be squidged between a very protective Lancelot, and a very protective Arthur

Gwaine is sat on the opposite side of the fire, and has had a glare leveled at Arthur since he first sat (with Percival sat next to him. No one would say it, but everyone knows it was so Percival could grab Gwaine if he decided to keep to his word and attempt to run the King through with is sword.)

Other than Elyan, Leon seems to be the only completely relaxed one. He knows Arthur the best, and he is aware of the Kings inability to lie on the spot, or keep control of his anger,

If Arthur was intending to hurt Merlin, he would certainly have made it obvious by now

The whole camp is painfully silent all through the meal, it's only after Leon comes back with clean bowls (being one of only two people who were willing to leave the camp (Elyan had already cooked, it wouldn't be fair to make him clean as well)) that Merlin breaks the silence,

His eyes are looking a bit clearer now, but he still has a headache, and he feels like he would probably end up passing out if he tried to stand up:

"So.... I knew about Lancelot but, how long?" The question is obviously aimed at everyone, but all take in a sharp breathe, with Arthur and Gwaine narrowing their eyes, at "I knew about Lancelot"

Percival looks from Merlin to Lancelot and raises an eyebrow in question:

"I realised it wasn't possible for me to have killed that Griffin on my own, but Merlin was the only other one with me. I figured that he had enchanted by lance,"

Everyones brows lower at that

"That was years ago? You've known all this time??" From Leon

Lancelot gives a shrug, "He wasnt exactly subtle. The lance was glowing so brightly I almost fell off my horse, and the only things I could hear were my horses hooves, and Merlin crouched at the side of the road muttering to himself....or to the lance I suppose."

Everyone but Arthur huffs out a laugh at that

I guess he doesn't like to be reminded that Merlin had been closer to Lancelot this whole time

And I can't be arsed to write it out, but all of them explain when, and how, they found out about Merlin's magic. It had been Leon first (which is unsurprising, he's the only one of them who's known him the same length of time as Arthur), a year or two after Lancelot first left.

He was conflicted at first, but after witnessing all the passed up opportunities that would've been perfect for Merlin to strike, like any self respecting evil sorcerer would, he couldn't convince himself that Merlin was evil.

He of course, kept an eye on him, but stopped worrying about him as a danger after only a couple months. He laughingly admits to losing sleep all these years, worrying about Merlin being an idiot and outing himself accidentally.

Though Arthur was the last of the group to speak, he realised Merlin had magic next, shortly after Balinors death.

After some questioning (at the time) Merlin had admitted that he met his father briefly "almost recently" (which was as specific as Merlin was prepared to get at the time) but he'd died shortly after

Arthur could tell Merlin had been upset about it, and made the connection between the timings of Balinors escape from Camelot, Merlins age, and how upset Merlin had been over the death of a near stranger

He explains that he wasn't sure at first, told himself he was seeing connections that weren't there, but he paid more attention to Merlin when Merlin thought no one was looking, and learned the truth soon enough

Gwaine figured it out next, within a week of meeting Merlin, repeating Lancelot's sentiment that he wasnt that subtle with it.

Theres no cool story here, Gwaine is just a lot smarter than people give him credit for

(all those years of trying to tell if another drunkard was about to start a fight, or walk off, made Gwaine very observant)

Like Gwaine, Percival noticed Merlin's magic within a couple weeks of arriving in Camelot

He grew up in kingdom where, as much as it wasn't common, it wasnt illegal. He saw the occasional bits of magic, and knew enough to recognise it

One too many instances of luck, in the midst of a battle, had been what clued him in

Elyan was reluctant to admit it, but he'd only realised a few months ago

(probably, Merlin thinks, probably why he'd been acting so weird recently)

Though he had realised in the same manner as Percival, one too many fallen branches, one too many instances of Merlin seemingly knowing they were about to be attacked, or follow the wrong path

After all their confessions they quietly wait, mostly focused on Merlin

Who at this point

Is still concussed

Though he is greatly appreciative of the fact that none of his friends (and also Arthur, the love of his life but like,,,, he's concussed. If he starts thinking about that too much he'll start talking about it and there is a time and place. Which isn't here and now) are trying to kill him:

"Huh. Gaius is gonna have a field day with this. But he'll probably also yell soooooo... please don't leave when I tell him and also maybe stand in front of me?"

he says with a chuckle. Someone goes to reply with a "Gaius kno-?? Of course he does." But before they can speak, they're interrupted by Merlin mumbling that-

"my head hurts :( "

Everyone else lets out a chuckle at this, but it's Leon who tells Arthur that it's been long enough now,

"Get some rest Merlin, we'll head back to Camelot in the morning, and we'll protect you from Gaius' famous wrath when we get there :) " from Arthur, has Merlin going:

"Oh thank the gods." Before promptly passing out on Arthur's shoulder, much to the amusement of everyone else.

THE END!

There is of course a merthur love confession at some point. And also Gaius expectedly yelling at Merlin when they get back (for being stupid and unsubtle all these years, for revealing his magic in such a dramatic fashion the previous day, for essentially concussing himself). The lot of them giggle at that, despite Merlin glaring at them the whole time

Arthur also reveals to the whole gang, the draft on the Magic Ban Repeal he'd been secretly working on. He always wanted Merlin to trust him enough to tell him the truth, but started work on the repeal when he came to the realisation that trust and respect goes both ways.

SO like always gang, I'm shitty at writing in full so like,,,,, if someone wants to wrote this go for it, credit and tag me✌

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bonesofapoet · 4 years

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From Dusk ‘Til Dawn

[marcus lopez arguello x you]

author’s note: i dunno about you guys, but i miss this show So Much, and i wont disappear from this fandom again!! you know, probably. (used to write for deadly class under ladyofstadvst) also, this prompt is like ten years old but im still a sucker for it so here! we! are!

word count: 1148

ao3: @ ladyofstardvst (apparently tumblr doesnt like links anymore??)

two times Marcus wanted to kiss you, and the one time he did.

Marcus Lopez Arguello couldn’t remember the last time he paid attention to the world around him.

He noticed thunderstorms and sunshine, knew when it was cold enough to snow. Saw the leaves begin to change from bright, leafy greens to honey gold and russet red. Of course he saw these things. He simply stopped caring about little happenings when Reagan killed his parents.

The last memory he had of a sunset . . . he couldn’t remember.

And he still couldn’t, even with the one painting the sky right before his eyes. Because when it was transforming into a radiant Monet as the sun descended down, down, down below the skyline, then the harbor -

The only place that held his attention was you.

You, with a smile that tugged the corners of your lips up towards your eyes. Eyes that reflected the deep violets melting into vibrant magentas and swirling with heavenly golden clouds. You, standing next to him in awe at the raw beauty this world had to offer for no cost but your time.

The air had become tinted with that specific shade of pastel pink, and Marcus had to catch his breath. His chest tightened, hands began to shake just enough to be noticed. He shoved them in his pockets so you wouldn’t see.

He would trade all the sunsets in the world just to feel your lips against his own. He would do it in a heartbeat.

II.

This time, it’s different.

Power outages darkened the city, torrential rain threatened to flood the streets, shutting down trains and buses, and no, don’t even think about walking. Wind came alive to uproot small trees and gift certain people with wings. It rattled the glass of Lost Innocence Comics right inside of its frames.

You and Marcus were soaked to the bone after stepping outside to just get a look down the street.

Great, he groaned, slamming his head against the locked door. The C L O S E D sign rattled against the glass. We’re fucking stuck here.

In front of him, the clouds changed from heather gray to deep navy and, within minutes, they were almost midnight black. It began to look like night had come to call early.

“Think we can find some candles around here?”

“Uh,” Marcus scrambled to collect himself, turned to face you in the fading light. “Who knows, there’s all kinds of shit in back.”

An eyebrow raised in curiosity. “Lead the way, then.”

Thunder rumbled low and followed you into the small storeroom. It was all damp concrete and chaos and muted rainfall past the small window lodged into the far wall. Bright, violent flashes of lightning accompanied scavenged flashlight beams as you scored a box of matches. Marcus balanced the half-burned pillars he found on a stack of inventory crates to breathe the treasured warmth of fire into the darkness.

Your chilled bones didn’t complain, either.

Flickers of flame danced across you both, the silence slowly growing thick with that special sort of tension. The kind that was only present when something big was about to happen, or when no one had anything left to lose. It would have become overwhelming, but then – then. You were closer to each other than you had been before. Closer than the moment that had just passed. Maybe it was the sharp crack of thunder that made your heart beat faster when his lips were drawing so close to yours -

A bright, harsh light filled the room and you both jerked apart.

The power kicked back on, and the worst of the storm had passed.

III.

Things were different after Vegas.

Distant, secretive, hushed.

A fog followed them around like a phantom that thrived on fear, and fear alone. The friends who came back were not the same people who left the day before, not really. Those mere hours seemed to age them years, decades, eons.

Maybe it was smart that you bailed on them with Willie. You wondered if the abandonment of their two friends led to their downfall.

That was the thing about King’s Dominion - death clung to it’s students like a cloak one could never shed. You didn’t always want to rush off to meet danger at it’s doorstep when you didn’t have to. There was value in a quiet, comfortable weekend spent in your room, thank you very much. So you turned them down.

But that was the thing.

There was no such thing as comfort in a place like King’s, in a life that trained the next generation of assassins. It felt detached somehow, the reality that there were no safety nets, no promise of a life growing old, no promise of even growing at all. Comfort, ease, dreams – those ceased to exist the day anyone walked through those monstrous front doors.

Marcus forgot that too, sometimes.

Vegas reminded him that life was so impossibly fleeting, invincibility certainly did not exist, and there was no fucking time to live safely when there was nothing safe about life in the first place. When all you really had were ghosts that didn’t yet exist, and nightmares of the ghosts already born from your own making.

When San Francisco greeted them in the early morning sunlight, Marcus Lopez Arguello found himself heading straight to your dorm.

I almost died, he greeted you with tired eyes and a rough voice. Like. Five fucking times.

He watched as your eyes drifted over his silhouette propped against the door frame, all bruised and bloody boy. You expected nothing less at this point.

“But you didn’t.” came your reply.

“No,” he said. You were so close that it had gotten difficult to breathe – and, no, it wasn’t because of his bruised ribs. Probably. “I didn’t die.”

The unspoken ‘yet’ hung in the air, the elephant in your room.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t with-”

The dam inside Marcus cracked, hitched, broke.

There wasn’t a universe where he would allow you to apologize for something he had no right to ask for in the first place. No universe where he would allow death to take him home before he did the small things. The important things.

The kind of things that almost dying in an alleyway dumpster in Las Vegas made him realize mattered.

He kissed you, and you kissed him back.

It was hesitant, at first. All soft lips and warm breath questioning if this was real, if this was happening, if maybe Marcus really was dead after all. Then passion crept in, the comfort of his arms wrapped around you, your hands threaded through his hair, his own pulled you closer and closer and closer.

He was so very much alive, with a pounding heartbeat to prove it. With your skin grazing his, with your breath in his lungs. For the first time in a long time, he was so very grateful to be alive.

#marcus lopez arguello imagine #marcus lopez arguello x you #marcus lopez arguello x reader #deadly class imagine #deadly class #marcus lopez imagine #kas writes

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oh-for-fic-sake · 4 years

Text

The Ground Rules

Geralt lays down the law with the help of yennefer after catching the reader haveing a bit of me time in the bath.

Masterlist

Ok this took all day as i couldnt stop tweaking it and i got to the point iv just got to step back and throw it out there or im gonna scream.Any way this is to go along with pastry negotiations its based after that one so could be considered part two? can be read stand alone tho in all honesty these modern reader inserts are gonna jump about in timeline cos my plot bunnys are twats. Im basing my Ciri on a mix of mature netflix Ciri and slightly mischievous witcher 3 Ciri. Any way i hope you enjoy this one im pretty pleased with it xx

WARNING: Adult Themes, Smut, DubCon Swearing MxFxF 18+

Dont like it dont read it.

Geralt snaps when you take matters into your own hands.

The Ground Rules

"Well someone is excited" Jaskier drolled as he watched your form slowly creating distance between you as you marched ahead.

As the small rickety town came into veiw you cried out a victorious and dramatic "still alive" causing eye rolls and chuckles in the group. Honestly this was the first real town you'd come to since being here and you were thrilled. Sure you'd passed a tiny smattering of houses four or so days ago where you'd traded for some bread, tiny amount of dried meat and a few other essentials oh! and yenn had managed to replace your pastry to the amusment of the resident witcher. They'd both been more open with you since the whole pastry incident-which you thought was an off handed comment on yennefers part but she and geralt had since indicated otherwise.

The people in the village had mentioned of a near by town that was rumoured to have a contract out on a nest of some monster thingamajigs that you hadn't botherd to remeber the name of .You looked down the verge towards the town with immediate thoughts of eat, bathe and sleep- on a bed, a real fucking bed ,ok so it wont be a temper mattress but you could live with that-oh my fucking god hot water,a nice loooong soak you moaned in your throat the thought alone brought tears to your eyes. You walked ahead trying to usher the group.

And maybe you could have your own room. Honestly sharing a bed with the couple was becoming an issue for you,your crush on them was definatly getting out of control now constantly blushing under their heated glances and they are becoming more touchy feely, Hands lingering longer than nesscasary or leaning in so close so thier breath tickled the hairs on your neck basically doing anything to get you flustered and you swear to god yesterday yennefer copped a feel whilst helping you threw a small steam which you didn't need help with;not that she listened. Bottom line you were becoming sexualy frustrated pretty much staying in a constant state of arousal a night away from them to take care of business would be very much appreciated.

"Come ooooonnnn guys keep up" you turned looking back at them drawing out your whine befor resuming towards the town

"Someone should catch up with her she looks like a girl on a mission" Yennefer commented

"Yes. Ciri would you keep her near the main gate and out of trouble while we settle roach in the stables ,here take her this she should cover up befor anyone gets any ideas" geralt grunted as your form began to dissapear down the brow of the hill ,ciri looked between the two before shrugging grabbing his offered cloak then ran to catch up with you.

You glanced to the side as you heard footsteps noticing Ciri fall in step with you she held out his cloak.

"Here geralt said to cover up before people get any ideas" you sighed it wasnt your fault his shirt hung off of you showing a large amount of shoulder and chest luckily when the hoover portal of doom sucked you in you were in fleece lined black leggings that had been durable enough to survive the last 3 weeks on the road(your stitch t shirt hadn't survived your initial fall) because you doubt he'd have anything your hips would get in to. Rolling your eyes you pulled the heavy fabric across your shoulders repostioning it so that it wasnt draging on the floor to much but was still sheilding your body.

"He's such a dad" Ciri giggled nodding in agreement befor reciting what esle geralt had requested ordered. You scoffed shaking your head

"So he doesnt even trust me to walk through a town, he does realise im an adult right? That i can do things with out causing trouble. i mean for god sake im not jaskier" she snorted

"I think its more like he doesnt want other men trying to sleep with you" you did a double take

"The hell you know about that sort of shit? has Jaskier been corrupting you?"

A knowing smirk crossed her face as she held her hands up coming to a halt facing you just inside the wooden gates of the town.

"You think i havent noticed whats going on by myself, Geralt likes you so does yenn jaskiers noticed to, think he's going to write a song"

"He better bloody not and anyway maybe i want to find a companion for the night." You announced tersely crossing your arms only to freeze as you heard a growl from behind you.

"Oh yes, i may have forgot to mention that witchers are senses are really sensetive" she smiled sweetly, you gaped why were you only being told this now. Looking between her and the others approaching.

"Wh-what how the fuck you leave that out? d-do you think he heard us? from back there" She nodded

"Most definitely" you gulped feeling yourself shrink into Geralts cloak a little at the looks you received from Geralt and Yennefer as he spoke to her telling her what youd just said.oh fuck.

"when you say senses you mean all of 'em? Not just one or two?" hoping beyond hope that something had been lost in translation.

"Nope all of them sight, smell, hearing the whole lot" she replied watching the colour drain from your horror sticken face. You'd been getting wet over the past few days. And the realisation that he probably knew embarrassed the shit out of you. Geralt smirked obviously he heard.You were so fucked.he knew and if he knew then she knew.oh my god. You were sooo fucked.'whelp there goes my dignity' you thought. He strode past you to the mediocre stables with roach in toe ready to hitch her for the night.Jaskier and yenn followed pulling some of the bags off of the horse then passing them out to their respective owners. Geralt then stood before you all giving you all the 'game plan' as you call it.

"we will find an inn and eat after that you get settled in for the night whist i see about this contract."

"don't bother about me tonight im going to catch myself a young fair maiden for the night" you scoffed at Jaskier's announcement drawing his attention

"Sounding like a creeper there Jask, what? you gonna do throw a net in the tavern? don't think they'd take to kindly to that" he huffed through his nose aggravated.

"No im going to sing in the tavern and lure a beauty to my side for the night" you played along widening your eyes in false realization

"oohh so your gonna go pay for it, how does it work exactly is it by hour or-" Geralt quickly intervened covering your mouth one to stop the inevitable spat and two before you could corrupt Ciri any further Jaskier deadpanned giving you a flat look.

"you're welcome to come find out for yourself im sure your just Itching to get some relief-"

"JASKIER! you go ahead at least try to keep a bit of coin back this time" Jaskier 1 Y/n 0.

You glowered behind Geralt's hand as he dismissed the smirking bard who turned on his heel prancing off quite pleased with himself. You smacked Geralt's hand away wiping your mouth with the back of your hand before slowly making your way down the street into town.It had taken nearly half an hour to find a decent inn that had room for the four of you. A room with two double beds that had a heavy curtain to split the room into two it was usually rented by traveling families. You groaned as you walked in, now you really couldn't take care of business, you followed Ciri as she placed her bag on the bed on the left following suit you placed yours on the other half of it only to have Yennefer quickly relocated it to her side of the other bed. Ciri snorted giving you a knowing look.you sighed then stomped across the room. Knowing all to well that it was futile to argue with the sorceress ,the witcher was stubborn but she was something else. Geralt handed a small pouch of coin to Yennefer.

"This is for the new clothes Ciri needs a thicker cloak preferably fur lined maybe new boots to not sure how long those will last in the mountains." yennefer hummed as she pocketed the money.

"And the clothes for Y/n as well?"

"Yes, should be enough there for what we discussed if not i'v got a bit more saved" you raised your brows blinking at them.

"err what was discussed? guys? what did you talk about? was it about me? helloooo" you waved as they ignored you.Yennefer pulled off her cloak leaving it on her side of the bed. you and Ciri followed their lead only for Geralt the tug yours back across you giving a sharp look as you rolled your eyes.The group made its way down into the quiet main room of the family run inn where you were served a meal of roast beef with vegetable trimmings ,before you knew it Geralt had left to find out about the contract with a final 'Behave' thrown in your direction.To which you grunted in response,too full to even tell him to 'jog on' - a phrase that still frustrated the witcher as he didn't know the meaning-. Yennefer had asked for a bath before your meal which you were just informed was ready leaving you alone with the sorceress. You had all decided Ciri would have the bath first then you, yennefer and finally geralt if he was back before it got cold.

"I cant breath" yennefer laughed out loud you rubbed your tummy closing your eyes

"I mean honestly, I think theres food in my lungs" groaning leaning back against the chair she gave a sympathetic smile

"Well you did inhale your food, maybe next time take it easy."

"Can you blame me, been the first meat iv recognized since i got here" It was true so far you'd been living on meats that you wouldn't have necessarily chose to eat back home rabbit,mutton venison ect.

"After we've bathed we will rest for the day but tomorrow we have to run over to the seamstress and get your new clothes, not sure how long we will be here and might have to order some or have them taken up,you are a little thing.Might have to have some leather work done too." you squinted pointing an accusing finger at her

"You calling me a midget? we going for shots now are we?" she smiled sheepishly

"No .no shots?. i just meant your petite don't worry its very cute. Anyway we are only picking up the basics a few day dresses ,Riding clothes boots that sort of thing" you blinked owlishly flushing as she called you cute.

"Riding clothes yes. Dresses no thank you" she stared unblinking at you for a few moments making you squirm at the calm expectant gaze that was getting heavier by the second, it was like the eyes of a mother when you'd been caught doing some dumb shit you knew you shouldn't be doing.

"Stop it....Yenn no... cant i just get something like Geralt has..please... i'd be much more comfortable...even Jaskier i mean im not one for the puffy bits but 'd make do....."

she blinked slowly

"Oh fine but only one or two no more and your not getting rid of these leggings either" you gave in, her gaze was to unnerving and it did things to you. Her face lit up. She was looking forward to seeing you in feminine gown instead of a her and Geralt's shirts not that she minded but it'd be a nice change to your strange stetchy leggings (not that she minded you in the form fitting bottoms) She moved leaning in to your side hand on your thigh patting it lightly.

"Thank you, don't be so worried i will take good care of everything" you gulped as you felt the flushed skin of your face grow hotter,your core clenching and warming at her sultry reply you closed your eyes trying to regain a bit of control. Suddenly her attention was drawn to a pink skinned Ciri who had finished her bath and changed Yenn nodded and released your thigh. You bolted upstairs hearing a chuckle as you did.

Once in the room you sighed in relief, making your way towards the screened off section that held a large oval tub full of steaming water. Discarding your clothes as you all but melted into the hot water.You submerged yourself getting your hair wet scratching tentatively at your scalp that had begun to ache under the grime. Spotting a small stool with what you'd consider toiletries, a bar of hard sweet smelling soap and a few vials.You grabbed the soap, opting for using it for your hair as well unsure what vials did what and went where.After scrubbing all the built up sweat and dirt you you closed your eyes lounging back against the slanted end tub you relaxed a few moments it wasn't long before you were feeling much better ,tired muscles succumbing to the soothing hot water.your body hummed. 'no one would have to know' as your summarized that this was the perfect opportunity to relieve yourself of other tensions,

'its not like geralt could smell you under water, i mean i dont think dogs can thats why criminals cross rivers when their being hunted on tv isn't it?' biting your lip you peaked an eye open and listened out carefully feeling naughty when you began moving your hand to the apex of your thighs gasping as your finger ghosted over your hardened bundle of nerves .Fuck. Your clit was sensitive not surprising when Geralt and Yennefer had practically edged you for nearly a week. You whined quietly as you began a fast rhythm on your clit ,other hand slinking down to your opening rubbing your fingers up and down the warm weeping hole. You bit off a groan as your hips gyrated against your roaming hands. Stomach tensing as you drove yourself faster and faster to the edge.Almost there.Fuck almost-you jumped hissing 'shit' ,ripping your hands away from yourself , sitting up fast enough to make your head spin splashing a wave of water over the floor when you heard the door open slamming the wall beside it.

"err theres some one in here!" you called out loudly, angry at who ever just interrupted you.You got nervous as the heavy steps quickly made their way towards you.Realizing who ever it was didn't care for your modesty as they were coming your way you slung your top half out of the tub to grasp the towel screaming because before you could grasp it and cover yourself a large calloused hand enveloped your shoulder shoving you back into the water.

"WH-GERALT THE FUCK? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUTTA ME." you shouted at him as he released you then you looked down slapping your hands down to cover your self as he raised his eyebrows and gave a lop sided grin.He defiantly looked like the big bad wolf in that moment eyes ablaze with a hunger you wasn't sure you wanted to explore or not. Collecting yourself swallowing dryly before scolding him in a voice that seemed to become smaller with each word.

"hey! get the fuck out im trying to bathe you prick" you heard the door open and close again in a less violent fashion. And suprize suprize yennefer glided into view behind the .

"Thats not all you were doing tho was it? i can fucking smell you" was growled at you as geralt wet his lips you squeaked.

"huh? b-but.. i thought..w-water" you stuttered out as your brain malfunctioned on on an epic scale. Yennefer gave out a loud laugh.

"so thats why he tore threw the inn like that.honestly Geralt i thought something was wrong" she continued laughing as she replayed the way geralt had all but vaulted the tables to get to the stairs. you pouted throughly humiliated

"something is wrong" he ground out before kneeling beside you .Shifting you tired to create some distance from him. He was having none of that wasting no time thrusting his hands into the water tugging away your shielding hand the other forcing its way between your legs. You slammed back against the tub gasping trying to get away. All you'd achieved was his hand pinning your hips to the back of the bath by your pussy

"GERALT WHA-"

"Lets lay down some ground rules" He squeezed your throbbing heat in his hand curling his fingers dangerously close to your opening you bucked moaning breathlessly .Your eyes searched Yennefer's for help but she wore a similar hungry look that he had. Another slow squeeze brought your attention back to the brooding alpha male in the room.

"This is ours.ours to lick,suck and fuck as we see fit, to do what we please with and is off limits to your wandering little hands we clear on that?" You groaned out as he emphasized certain words with teasing brushes of fingers and a slow rub of his palm. Realizing that he might actually be serious.You nodded quickly babbling as he rocked his hand back and forth igniting the heat that you had built alone.

"C-crystal-please Geralt PLease" You threw your head back as his hand moved deliberate and teasing.

"You think you deserve it? after being caught up here playing with yourself?" You nodded then shook your head confused, unable to really concentrate on anything apart from his magnificent hand ,half lidded eyes and clenching your fingers tight around the thumb he was using it to control your movements as your body whithered under his ministrations.

"Really?" He said smirking as he held completely still you sucked through your teeth biting back curses.He chuckled smug bastard. moving trying to get some friction to no avail.

"Well we have been teasing the poor thing ,of course shes going to try sorting herself out the first chance she gets .Honestly Geralt what did you expect? i did tell you" yennefer reasoned as she stood behind you combing threw your wet hair you before grasping your free hand pulling it up out of the way kissing your palm before ghosting her nose down your neck pressing soft kisses along it you mewled at her and tried to coax geralt to continue again by rolling your hips.

"I suppose we could let her off this time" His voice was pure sex as he glanced down before giving into pushing two thick fingers up into you. his breach of your walls had an initial sting but was incredible as your needy walls tried sucking him deeper greedy to be filled.

"oh-oh fuck Ger-please" you arched your back pushing down onto his hand clutching onto Yennefer's wrist. you were so hot .fuck.he was gonna make you cum too quick. You panted throwing your head side to side as your legs tensed then raised up towards your torso, your pussy wrapped tight around Geralts fingers as he held them deep every few thrusts making you feel just how your walls rippled around him. he alternated between fast and shallow then slow and deep trying to build you up slowly he wasn't going to rush you, he was skilled enough to walk you up to the edge and throw you off whenever he damn well pleased. You'd never been this desperate in your life . Yenn's cool fingers delicately teased out your nipples pinching and flicking them until they stood out provocatively. You rocked against the both of them as Geralt made sure to start dragging your clit up and down with his palm as he finger fucked you curling his fingers searching for that small spot that'd send your mind reeling. Yenn had leaned down kissing your cheek and begun whispering lowly into your ear.

"He knows what he's doing doesn't he?Iit wont take him long to find every single spot you have, thats the thing with bedding a witcher they are much more observant then regular men. I have no doubt he will know when your going to orgasm before you do.He has the ability to force them out of nowhere when ever he pleases.. He is quite cruel like that" you moaned out loud snapping your head back high pitched and vulgar sounds tore from your throat as Geralts invading fingers began rubbing furiously back and forth on a soft spot inside of you.Unable to control yourself as your legs and tummy spasmed erratically as your tearfull moans and pleas filled the room

"Thats it oh i think iv found it~" he boasted as he moved his elbow pinning a knee to the side of the tub leaving your clit cruelly exposed for Yennefer,they shared a look as she moved her hand down to join Geralts taking over to rub small firm circles on your exposed clit.

"oh-OH fuck noNOno i cant please i ca-UGh to-Too much please FUCK" Yennefer was quick to swallow your moans in a kiss of clashing teeth and tongues before any one could hear ,tears streamed down your face as your body ached your pussy contracting painfully around his swiping digits. Pulling back for air the sorceress placed open mouthed kisses over your shoulders leaving red marks with her teeth and sucking bites.

"Good girl your being sooo good you don't have to ask this time" she praised as she reached your ear befor sucking harshly below your jaw. you were quickly becoming putty in their hands Geralt growled as he picked up the begining tremors of your orgasm.

"Look at me" you obeyed instantly moaning as you watched the white wolf pull his lip up in a snarl that would have scared you any other time.

"This is what you were made for, your ours, we own you, mind body and soul we own every whimper ,every tear ,every orgasm and hole they are ours for the taking when ever we choose,from now only ecstasy you will know is what we give you" You'd never have guessed how filthy his mouth could be but it seemed to have the desired effect as a sudden rush of heat was your only warning before rearing up screaming out, not sure if you'd shut your eyes or blacked out for a moment as you gushed into the bath water.Geralt pressed into you persistent while Yennefer's hand continued the tight circles efficiently drawing out the best orgasm your ever had.Finally their movements ceased and your body went limp wracked trembling in the aftermath as your orgasm ebbed away slowly. After giving you a few moments to come down and catch your breath Geralt removed his fingers you whimpered inside's still so sensitive after your orgasm, sucking on them he moaned deep and feral before plucking your clenched fingers off his thumb. Yennefer quickly wiped your pussy gently clearing the cum from between your swollen lips. Making you twitched as the cloth ran over you.Pulling you from the bath was a joint effort as they rested you on the bed and began patting you dry with the towel.Moaning in protest as your arms waved loosely trying to take over only having your hand smacked away as they finished.Lying back looking up at them bleary eyed trying to stay awake you felt like jelly, giving up fighting you rolled over yawning tucking your arms below your head Yennefer tilted her head stroking your hair sending you into a relaxed sleep.

"Poor dear ,Oh look at her geralt shes all fucked out and we haven't even fucked her yet"

"hmm she'll be ok we just need to work on her stamina" he replied patting your bottom as he pulled the cover over your washed out form.Geralt panicked

"Shit wheres Ciri?"

"well when you came charging in down stairs i told her to go find Jaskier and stay there until one of us came to get her" Yennefer said with a sly grin he shook his head and scooped her up kissing her passionately. As he took a few steps to the now vacant bath

"well the bath is still warm care to join me?"

"with pleasure lets try not to wake her tho"

See you soon xxx

#geralt x yennefer x you #geralt x modern reader #geralt x yennefer #geralt x y/n #geralt of rivia #geralt smut #witcher fanfiction #witcher imagine #witcher fic #witcher smut #geralt x yennefer x reader

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zukkatrash · 4 years

Text

atla pirate au

(soley based on me misreading a diff post and now wanting to see mai in a keira knightly getup) (also everything i know abt pirates is based on the pirates of the caribbean, treasure planet and black sails and hasty 2 am googling) (also also big fucking shoutout to @s-suki for helping me with this)

the gaang's ship - aka The Avatar

yue is captain!!! (@s-suki ur brain is huge and i luv u) so from what i know being a captain is a looot abt politics and u know our girl yue is good at that, not to mention how much her crew loves her bc she gives everything for them

sokka is navigator, one look at the stars and he knows where they are instantly, he charts a course in record time, captains have in fact fought over him but he is nothing but loyal to his captain!!!

aang spends at least half his time in the sails, as lookout and keeping knots secure(? idk shit abt sailing haha) he’s also the fastest one they got, no matter if he’s running, swimming or paddling a small boat

suki is the best fighter they have bc of course she is (also theres no misogyny in this bc i said so) grown men shit themselves when they see her / also shes boatswain (the boatswain was in charge of a ship's anchors, cordage, colors, deck crew and the ship's boats, and would also be in charge of the rigging while the ship was in dock)

toph! makes! bombs! also if u give her a gun that u found thats been underwater for three months and u give her like 2 hours, not only is it completely functional afterwards but it somehow works better than before?

katara is quartermaster and shes def like 30% of how yue keeps her crew in line

haru is ship cook (i know this has zero connection to canon but have you considered boi soft and warm like bread)

teo is the ships carpenter (highest ranking if they got more than one)

jet is a fighter obvs, also him and sokka do NOT get along but yue has this real icy stare that makes them both shut up immediately

smellerbee is dating toph and yue is not opposed to their relationship but does make sure theyre not around eachother too much when explosives are also near bc those 2 def get up to some wild shit

longshot is obvs the best shot they have and is the other lookout

appa is a parrot and he spends all of his time being adorable

momo is still a lemur and just steals so much shit

on to the firenation

ozai rules over a whole ass port/island or smth idk but like all the pirates have to deal with his fucking bullshit

zhao is his 2nd in command and yue at some point guts him 😊

azula is of course captain of her ship and she rules with an iron fist

mai is first mate (making any possible future betrayals that much worse)

ty lee is ship medic and just constantly gets underestimated in fights and wins like right away

zukos life motto on azulas ship is 'i hate it here' bc his job is basically everything nobody else wants to do (until! he is no longer on the ship. does he get pushed off the ship to drown? does he leave in the night with all the valuables he can carry and a map of a great prize? idk, YOU DECIDE)

more thoughts on zuko:

i dont think he’d join the gaang right away after he’s no longer with the fire nation but would first like half-die on some island (even if he didn’t get kicked off, i just imagine he’d do smth drastic like think he can sail a ship without getting lost just bc he’s spent a lot of time on a ship but like, honey no, navigation isnt as easy as it looks) bc zuko alone u kno

iroh is still his uncle in this, but zuko doesnt know that, so he thinks he’s just this weird hermit guy that finds him and takes him in

zuko is like "what does he want? what his secret agenda? how will this guy use this against me?" and iroh is just like "boy! eat something but also are u like okay? u want some cryptic advice thats consisting of 60 ocean metaphors?"

iroh does tell him hes his uncle tho and that he left when zuko was really young and he wasnt the only one who ran from that house that day...

URSA IS ALIVE!

she had been banished by ozai and threatened with zukos murder if she had stayed, ozai wouldve killed her but he knew he couldnt take her in a straight fight and if she had been the type you could assassinate they wouldntve ever gotten together anyway

now shes vibing with iroh and lu ten, because yes lu ten is alive (listen if there is any feasable way of my boi to be alive he is!!!)

also they’re def supporting everyone who opposes ozai as asafely as they can on whatever weird remote island theyre at

once zuko joins the crew of the avatar, sokka laughs like straight five minutes abt zuko thinking he could navigate his stolen boat after not even learning how to properly read a map, not to mention everything else that goes into navigating and zuko is like "fuck u" and sokka is like "lets show u how to read a map so this doesnt happen again" still with tears of laughter in his eyes, and maybe later when hes been on the crew for longer and maybe saved sokkas life in a fight, sokka teaches him abt the stars too and cue zuko pining after the way too beautiful guy trying to explain constellations but zuko just keeps getting lost in his eyes and being hyper aware of how close sokkas arm is when he points out specific stars

the reason zuko joins them in the first place is bc the avatar is the only crew that could protect him against azula and ozai and they’re the only ones willing/able to go up against the fire nation

also katara is the first to see zuko after he parted with the fn and she like immediately has a sword to his throat and boi just fucking faints

maybe jee is also a captain in this bc i really like it when the wani shows up in fanfics and maybe they’re not on good terms with ozai but they’re flying under the radar bc its just a small ship and they do bring in their percentage so maybe zuko joins his crew before he goes to find the gaang?

now some general thoughts:

the dai lee is the chinese navy out to get them all

miyuki is one of their highest ranking officers and gives the pirates a run for their money, but weirdly never goes to chase the Avatar

hakoda is also a captain but he’s working under ozai to take the operation down from the inside (also yes of course his husband bato is also there with him ^^)

kue is absolutely some weird hermit guy

once again big thanks to @s-suki for helping me with this check out their blog theyre great! (theyre on break rn tho but dont let that deter u!!)

if anyone wants to add to this PLEASE do!!! also if anyone draws or writes smth for this please please please tag me bc i would love to see it!! (also i will love u forever ♡)

#atla #avatar the last airbender #avatar #atla pirate au #pirate captain yue #like kellin u were GALAXY BRAINING yesterday!!!#i think if anyone draws her with a pirate hat and one of those flowy shirts ill drop dead on the spot #also i refused to go to sleep 3 times to write this haha #this idea had me up till like 4 am haha

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monochromemedic · 3 years

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Same spamton honkers anon here dhsnsns

Your entire rant resonated hard w me bc i acc have an art blog myself but its kind of underground (i made it at the beginning of 2020 in hopes that i could gain some sort of audience cuz i occasionally post on it) and i always wanted to be a [big shot] artist. I have been struggling with severe negative artistic self view and i also do the grave mistake of comparing my art to others every so often WITHOUT EVEN REALIZING AT FIRST like i see some art i like, i rb it then my mind does this thing where its like "ok god i WISH THAT WERE ME tho" and i just ????? Damn shawty ok!!!

I feel the same regarding doodles and studies, as u said, i'd prob feel better breaking and twisting my spine on a piece continuously for one week but i legit dont have the time, patience and overall energy for that kinda shit☠☠☠ i think it boils down to every individual, some love posting and spending hours and hours on a piece, others center around doodles and small projects. Trust me im still so mf overly critical of myself despite the fact that im doing relatively better compared to last year but its almost as if when im rlly proud of smth and i post it and it doesnt gain as many notes (which ik isnt a clear indicator of quality but yknow) i just go like "damn ok then" dbsbxbns if u would like to talk abt such matters im here🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶

All in all i'd say give it time, maybe dont straight out post smth as soon as its done bc i find taking a break then coming back to it sometimes helps change my perception of the drawing??? But fr i absolutely love ur art myself no cap💔

I really do feel you. I know being negative and beating myself down about my art is like very counter productive but I got into the habit a long time ago and now I can't seem to get out of it as easily as I started. I know every artist struggles with some form of it and you only see the finish product not the time it took to make it or progress. It's a very shitty situation because most of the time you only see the creative process from YOUR point of view and only see the end products of others. But even with all this information it's like it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if other artists struggle or feel the same way, they push something out, they get a good piece and yet you don't. You still compare even if you don't mean to, you're upset you can't be them or at their level and you wanna get feedback, you wanna have people look at your art you wanna make people laugh or whatever it is you hope to accomplish but to you it just looks incorrect because it will forever be YOURS. And I don't know how to get comfortable with my progress, where I am with my art currently or the fact my art will always be mine. I'd say it's nice to hear you feel that same way but I never like hearing people suffer the same viewpoint about their art, it just makes me sad that they gotta deal with the same shit. Makes me wish I could help but ya know kinda hard to. I guess I hope we both push past it. That's a good idea though. sitting on something and maybe coming back to it at a later date even if it is finished. I hear artists do a lot of WIPs. I honestly never have, I think I have one but I've never really strived to make art that took more then one session or I was too fast and quickly finished it up in the one session it took. I'm just learning I gotta take more time with my art, think things through, give it the love it deserves even if it's kinda stinky. Which ya know fights the 'why are you taking so long on this piece, people could have finished it by now' mentality. It's an endless circle. I go too quick? Why didn't I take longer on it, it could have been better if you spend 24 hours on it. I go too slow to draw something? Someone could have done that in half the time! How artists get over their art struggles, has got to take some serious determination. Or maybe it's just some [BIG SHOT] attitude adjustment I gotta get into *wink*

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leftnipsdoodles · 5 years

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Any art advice for someone who sucks?

anyway here’s advice from someone who also sucks and never takes said advice into consideration themselves

- draw what you see, not what you THINK you see- if you’re trying to avoid drawing sth, draw it. e.g. you’re trying hard to hide the hands bc you’ve tried to draw those dang things for 2 hours now and it always looks like shit. take a step back, and do a bunch of hand studies. come back to the drawing when you feel like you have a better grasp on hands. but also:- don’t let perfectionism hold you back. let’s say you did those studies, came back, drew those hands again and they still dont look right. fuck it. in half a year you’ll have improved again anyway, whether you get the hands right or not. you can always do redraws of your older pics.- the more you suck, the luckier you are, because it means you can practice a lot of things!- drawing has two sides to it: the actual act of drawing and training your eyes to see things for how they are. you know how all your pictures always have a lean and look completely different when you mirror them? it’ll get less the more you practice. speaking of which:- if you feel like you’ve stopped improving, it’s probably because you’re about to make a literal LEAP in skill. bc when you feel like everything you draw is shit no matter what you do, that means your visual perception has become better, which in turn will help you identify what you want to do differently and how. i stole this advice btw. but i can vouch for it.- as for technical stuff, if you have one of those tablets that doesn’t have a built-in screen, you should draw on actual paper once in a while. i dont know stuff. so i cant tell you why. but i can tell you that that definitely helped me. also my favorite exercise to recommend: look at something and draw it on paper, without looking at the paper. then do that again, but this time you’re allowed to look down on the paper while you’re drawing every 10 seconds or so. etc. it rly helps with the ‘drawing what you actually see’ thing and i felt it rly helped me get a better feel for the lines i was drawing.- for environments, literally just draw your surroundings. unless you live in front of a green screen, there should always be things around you, right? you can literally look up right now and decide to draw your desk. then sit on the floor and draw the desk from that new angle. etc. ezpz- for ppl, draw from porn. i’ll keep saying this but porn is a goldmine for anatomy. not only are ppl naked, they’re also at weird angles and in weird positions. you can see how the muscles move and are connected etc. sometimes your peepee gets hard but just work through that. if you need references for certain body parts, fetishists will have you covered lol- just draw from life i guess. just that ‘from life’ doesnt have to mean ‘go outside and sketch ppl’. you can draw from photos. i had an artist once tell me that she could tell if we drew from photos rather than real life because the art turns out flat. but guess what i handed in my folder and every pic in there was drawn from photos bc im lazy. some were drawn from screenshots of youtube videos lol anyway what im saying is of course she couldn’t tell. it’s bogus. - do make sure to not just draw mindlessly tho. your mind should focus on what you’re doing. you should be trying to understand what you’re drawing, rather than just copying what you see. yknow? so when you’re drawing a leg from reference, while drawing you should be thinking ‘ok here there’s a curve, but why? i’ll look up other pics and see how it behaves from other angles’. the goal of referencing and studying is to one day be able to build these constructs yourself, without references (at least, with less references. all professional artists use references but like. in a different way. whatever, we’ll burn that bridge when you get there okay!!!)- lastly, draw some sexy guys for me as payment for this STELLAR advice

#i dont know shit i dont get stuff and i dont understand things. so you came to the wrong place #but i still did my best.#buff arms reply #Anonymous

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bobafettsslut · 5 years

Text

a little gendrya oneshot

there is a better edited version here:

(but i won’t stop u from reading this lol i just didn’t really like the ending on this one)

Arya had fallen asleep only an hour ago, but Gendry felt like he had laid there for forever. He didn’t want to leave her while she slept, but first light would come soon, and Gendry could not be caught in the Princess’s bed. Her leg lays across his stomach, and every time she moves, the smooth inside of her thigh slides across his hip. Her body bare except for the thin linen that drapes across their hips. Her head is on his arm, but most of her body rests on his side, and presses her breasts against his ribs. She shifts again, and her leg ventures lower.

Her body had small scars all over, but the insides of her thighs were soft. The outsides were just as scarred as the rest of her body. He mindlessly rubbed his hand on her back, and felt some of her scars from the House of Black and White. Her arms had healed cuts from various things, but he loved the mark on her face the most. She had fallen out of a tree as a child, and split her lip open, leaving a faint scar that led up to her nostril. He tries not to despise the scars that mark her stomach, but it’s hard. She says they’re ugly, and he knows she’s self-conscious of them every time she removes her clothes for him, so he’s sure to hide the fury he feels when he sees them. They could have killed her. They almost did. Unlike the scars that littered her body to teach her lessons for losing her balance while climbing a tree or not paying close enough attention to the end of a blade while fighting. But the scars on her belly only showed that she had failed to obey an order to kill someone underserving of death. She murmurs something to Gendry and he doesn’t know if she’s waking or sleep talking. She slides her leg across his stomach, resting it just below his belly button. Her hair, which she still keeps short (albeit neatly cut to reach her shoulders) had tangled from the early events of this morning and fell across her face. A chunk stuck to the corner of her mouth and moves a little which each breath she withdraws. Gendry smiles softly and brushes it away from her face. She hums in response, finally stirring from her sleep. She opens her eyes and huffs a little.

“Morning, already?” She mumbles, and he smiles again at her sleepy state.

“You can sleep for a while longer, I need to get back to the forge,” he whispers, trying not to rouse her too much.

“Have you slept?” She asks, shutting her eyes again and snuggling her face against Gendry’s neck.

“No, I was going to sleep for a little while at the forge before everyone wakes up,” he says, and he knows she’s probably rolling her eyes at him under his chin. The war against the Night King had ended, but Cersei Lannister still wanted Jon and Daenerys’s heads on spikes for trying to rebel against her claim to the throne. And they needed weapons to win.

“Why don’t you just sleep here?”

“And have the King in the North and his wolf catch me? I think not, m’lady.” She groans in response to the nickname. “Oh, right, my apologies, Your Grace,” he teases and she shoves his chest.

“I’m not the princess, stupid. Sansa is.”

“Last I checked, having a brother for a King makes you a princess.”

“How many princesses do you know of that invite men into their beds,” she snaps, and he lets out a small chuckle.

“Men? I hope you don’t mean more than me,” he teases and she smiles against his throat. She hums. “Well?”

“Oops, you weren’t supposed to know about my many lovers.”

“Well now that you’ve told me they exist, I have to know who I’m fighting for your affections.”

“Let’s see,” she leans up from her spot and rests her head on her hand. “There’s Podrick... Samwell... my brother’s wife Meera...”

“Bronn?”

“Him, too,” she jests. “And Jaime Lannister.”

“I must say, Your Grace, you are quite the little scoundrel of Winterfell.”

“Someone had to be,” she gives him a smile, one that was reserved for him in private. When she trained in Braavos she learned to hide her emotions, but the only one that she couldn’t control around Gendry was love.

Gendry leans forward and gives her a chaste kiss. She tries to draw him in, but he knows he needs to leave her chamber soon. She kisses him again, and pushes her leg across his stomach down lower, but he catches her thigh with one of his hands.

“I have to go,” he says.

She wraps an arm protectively around his shoulder and moves to lay over top of him, trapping him. “No.”

“Arya, I could use one finger to push you off and leave if I really wanted to,” he says, but makes no move to leave.

“Then why haven’t you?” She asks as she sits up and leans her body from left to right to straddle him. She raises her eyebrow at him, waiting for his response.

“Because I don’t want to. I need to, though,” he says, with a huff. But as Arya moves and pants over top of him, he finds it’s hard to remember why he needs to be anywhere but with her.

Gendry wakes up later, as light glares through Arya’s window. “Shit!” He gasps, and tries to gather his small clothes. Arya sits up and looks at him, a small blush coating her cheeks.

“You’re still here?”

“We fell asleep,” he says, trying to keep his voice down, knowing sounds carry and people whisper. “I need to leave before anyone sees me in here.”

“Right,” Arya says, and hands him his discarded breeches by the edge of her bed. Gendry pulls them on, and tries to tie all of his clothes back together neatly. He finishes dressing and laces his boots up. “It doesn’t look much later than first light, if you leave know you can probably make it out of this wing so you don’t look suspicious.” He quickly nods and walks over to Arya. He plants a small kiss on her forehead and she shoves him lightly. “Go,” she prods and he smiles at her.

He makes it out into the hallway with only a small creak from the door. He gently shuts it after looking to make sure no one is roaming the corridor. He creeps towards one of the castles many exits, but before he has the chance to hide, the King and the Princess round the corner.

“Gendry?” Jon asks, with a perplexed look on his face.

“Your Grace,” Gendry responds, falling into a kneel. Jon motions for him to stand up and Sansa wears the same look on her face.

“What brought you to the Princess’s chambers this early in the morning?” Jon asks, but Gendry knows Jon already has the answer.

“The Princess’s sword needed mending, Your Grace. She asked me to take a look at it,” Gendry lies.

“At first light? Surely you had more pressing matters to attend,” The King snaps and he stomps towards Arya’s door. He pulls it open and Arya clutches the linens to her naked chest.

“Jon! Do you knock?” Arya shouts, as Gendry accepts that he’s going to die today. Sansa grimaces and Jon steps towards Gendry.

Jon grabs Gendry’s arm and starts to walk him away from Arya’s chamber. “Sword mending,” he grumbles to himself. Sansa shuts Arya’s door and rushes behind Jon and Gendry.

“Jon,” she says, but he doesn’t respond. Gendry keeps pace with Jon and can only hope that Ghost’s whereabouts are unbeknownst to Jon. “Jon!” Sansa snaps, and Jon stops to turn around to look at Sansa.

“Sansa!” Jon responds.

“Jon, you’re making a scene. You need to calm down,” she hisses, lowering her voice. Arya emerges from her chamber, dressed in breeches and a half-tied jerkin. Her hair remains tangled, and she rushes towards the group.

“Jon, please,” Arya begs, “Can we talk about this? Not here.”

Jon finally lets his iron-like grip on Gendry go, and nods. “Fine.”

Jon doesn’t give anyone time to respond as he starts walking again. Sansa and Arya follow him, and Gendry trails behind the three, praying to every God he knows.

They end up in Jon’s solar, and Gendry sits directly across from him, extremely focused on his hands. “Do you want to explain to me why you were in my little sister’s chamber this morning?” Jon asks, looking as angry as any King Gendry had heard about.

“I needed to mend her sword, Your Grace.”

Jon’s glower tells Gendry he didn’t give him the correct response. “I fell asleep, Your Grace.”

“We were being improper,” Arya grumbles, giving her brother an eye roll.

“I know that,” Jon hisses. “I wanted Gendry to tell me.”

“Why?” Arya snaps. “Are you going to castrate him?” She agitates, and Gendry silently curses her for giving Jon the idea.

“I’ve considered it!” Gendry moves his hand to protect his manhood. He would sooner set himself on fire than be castrated.

“Jon, be reasonable, please,” Sansa says, and Gendry is thankful for her for being the only calm Stark in this situation.

“Be reasonable? One of my trusted friends has been... has been...” he shakes his hands in Gendry and Arya’s direction.

“If I remember correctly, Arya and Gendry were friends for much longer than you and Gendry. Unless you were planning on selling Arya in a marriage alliance, it does not really matter what our sister does in private.”

Jon ran his hands through his curls. “If you had asked me, I would’ve allowed you to marry,” Jon announces, unexpectedly. Gendry perks up at the King’s words. “Now that you have...” Jon doesn’t finish his statement. “You should marry. I won’t force you, Arya, but if you respect me or Gendry, you will not refuse his hand and bear his bastard.”

“I’m only a bastard, Your Grace. I can’t give the child a bastard’s name.”

“You are the late King Robert’s bastard. I only need to sign a paper, and you could have a last name to give your child.”

Gendry turns to look at Arya, not wanting to respond without her approval. “What are you waiting for, stupid? Are you going to give me your name or not?” She says, with a small smile on her face. Arya always expressed her disgust of marrying as a child, but they rarely spoke of her having to marry as adults. Gendry nods and turns back to Jon.

“Don’t think that I’ll forgive you for this easily, Gendry,” Jon huffs, and reaches for a blank piece of parchment.

“King Robert had always wanted a Stark-Baratheon marriage,” Sansa muses, and gives Arya a small smile.

(this is highly unedited, and it’s also the first gendrya thing ive ever published EVER please be nice i’m sensitive lol)

#gendrya headcanon #gendrya au #gendrya #gendry waters #arya stark #gendry baratheon #gendry x arya #arya x gendry #king in the north #got au #asoiaf au #game of thrones #trash #game of thrones gendrya #gendrya ff

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tellmetheteruth · 5 years

Text

The GazettE in Dallas personal Live Report

I've never written one of these for a show i've been to so excuse me if it's clumsy. My concert buddies and I were aiming to get to the venue in the a.m. hours but Brittney and I took so long on hair and makeup that we didn't get there until noon. Oops.

It was Ridiculously hot and sweaty outside and I am not from Texas, i'm from near Seattle so i'm not used to it. And i didnt bring sunblock. My bf brought me some partway through the day but I still got a little burned. Met a lot of friends in the line that helped make it feel less than the 6 and a half hour wait it was. Signed the banner for the band and some Birthday cards for Reita.

The WT19 Documentary staff walked by with the camera and actually interviewed me! I thought I did well but my friends later teased me to death about talking too much and telling my whole life story so idk;;;; I still hope they use a bit of it because I didn't get in the WT16 dvd at all even though I went to LA.

I was VIP so the early entry was a lifesaver. Managed to be near the front of the merch line and actually snagged a Kai and an Uruha bear keychain. Ruki was sold out before I even saw it and Reita sold out a few people in front of me. I also got a tshirt and a hoodie but it was the bears I was REALLY hoping really bad I could get because I didn't own any yet.

And I still managed to get a really good spot after so I'm glad I didn't feel pressured to skip the merch line in favor of a spot. I wasn't directly at the barricade, i had probably 3 or 4 people in front of me. But to me it was perfect because I could see all the members without craning my neck instead of just the one close to me, and I was still way close enough to see all their beautiful faces in detail.

I don't rememeber the setlist in order whatsoever but other people posted it so. Anyway. Falling was Awesome and the first song after the intro. I was mostly distracted in awe just to be standing so close to them all. At the last show I couldn't afford VIP and I was stuck way up in a balcony. So this was just Surreal to me.

A lot of the middle is such a blur but I remember feeling like I had never smiled so wide in my whole entire life and no matter what they played I would have been happy. I was even So excited to hear Filth in the Beauty even though I usually complain about how overplayed it is. I know they played Dogma, which I heard at the last tour of course, but it was Way better being this close and personal.

Aoi is increadibly magnetic and attractive. There's no way to explain it. It's not just that he's hot- mind you, of course he Is, but.. something about him. The way he carries himself. Its hard to take your eyes off of him. The rest is pretty much what other people say, confirmed. Uruha makes a lot of Weird faces, especially during solos. But its super cute. Ruki has not gotten Any better at dancing and I wouldn't have it any other way. Kai is all smiles. Reita's always bobbing his head with the music like a little parakeet. I don't know what to say. Its all so much more touching being there to see it up close.

The last song of the encore was Tomorrow Never Dies and I was just.. crying the whole time honestly. Any final song would be a little emotional but they had to choose That one. It defeinitely got to me.

After the show VIP was immediately lining up for the meet and greet and I was confused about where to go. But we found it. I waited and took some post-show selfies with Brittney. The whole experience was just.. even more special being with my best friend after so long.

-The meet and greet.-

It was. Interesting. I was not prepared.

The line moved a lot faster than I was expecting and before I knew it my boyfriend pointed out that they were right there and Holy Shit he was right. I needed to get my gifts out of my bag and ready Pronto, because I made Ruki a drawing on the plane and I made Uruha a cute little gift bag with specially made stickers, a kitkat and a note I wrote him. (I wanted something for everyone but work got in the way and I ran out of time..) ANYWAY my baggie for Uruha got caught in the zipper of my purse. Like. Really caught bad. The line was still moving. Panic ensued. My boyfriend was behind me so i asked him to help if he could. He couldn't get it.

Then Aoi was right in front of me. The caught present would have to wait for later. I don't remember exactly what I said. A stammering excited ramble while we clasped hands. He was an amazing guitarist, beautiful, things like that. He makes eye contact. They all make good eye contact but especually Aoi. They all have soft warm hands. But each handshake passes in the blink of an eye before I can process it. My brain is a scrambled mess.

Reita. I thank him and pause briefly to think of something personal I can actually say to him. I gave an enthusiastic "You Rock", to which he smiles and agrees with a nod. "Yes!", he says. It was really cute. Probably could have said something more meaningful but at least i'm sure he understood me. Mostly everyone else got an incoherent mess of trying to say as much as I could in such a brief time period.

Ruki. I totally forget I have a present for him by the way. Im holding his hands and busy being Dazzled at how gorgeous he is in person. It's incredible. I tell him he's an amazing singer and i've always looked up to him. Throw in a few other compliments in the fleeting moment before I have to move on. Not sure how much he understands but he smiles and thanks me a couple times.

Kai. He's just glowing and beaming. Smiles so bright. Its very cute. I tell him hes an awesome drummer. I honestly forget what else I said. As I was moving between him and Uruha I remembered Uruhas stuck present. And that made me remember I was supposed to give Ruki a present. Oh shit. Panic. Reach in my bag and slide the piece of paper across the table to him. "Sorry! This is for you!" I don't mean to be chaotic I just really want him to have it. Luckily its my own boyfriend I interrupted his meeting with. Ruki seems amused and thanks me again. Hopefully he actually is and doesnt think i'm rude.

Fiddling with the god damned stuck gift bag as I step over to Uruha in a panic. Eyes wide. Stop to shake his hands. No freaking clue what I even ramble out to him I forget. Im panicking over the present because I dont have long til I have to go. I let go of his hands to fiddle with it again because I Really want him to have it. I worked really hard on it. I realize last second that i can just pull the gifts Out of the little baggie and drop them out on the table in front of him in a panic. "Kit-kat.." I drop it. He thanks me. Im sure I look like a mess. Not sure if he's frightened or flatterd by my determination as the staff starts to try to usher me along. "Stickers-!" I say as I put those down too. Really not sure he even understood what that meant. He might just think its a drawing. Don't know. But he of course thanks me. The poor staff lady is tapping at my shoulder trying to get me to leave. I still have the notecard that has to go with the stickers. I'm apologizing repeatedly to everyone involved as I finally get that to him as well and leave as quickly as possible so as to not cause chaos or hold up the line.

I get outside and meet back up with Brittney and my boyfriend who of course think the whole ordeal was Hilarious. I am mortified and I hope Uruha doesn't think i'm a lunatic. I like to tell myself he probably just thought it was funny but I have no way to know.

We all go to waffle house because its late and we are all starving. My boyfriend is in awe over how tiny Ruki is and he thinks its adorable. Brittney Genuinely misremembered and thought Ruki was sitting down at the meet and greet even though everyone else was standing?? We laugh our asses off. I'm still embarrassed but overall I had an awesome unforgettable night. I hope I didn't leave too bad of an impression. I'm sorry that was so long, i'm a writer and I like to ramble.

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having-a-freddie-time · 5 years

Text

save me

summary: Y/N is trying her hardest to get out of an abusive relationship without telling anyone. However, she can’t always hide the bruises, especially from her best friend since childhood, Ben Hardy. Once he finds out, he tries his best to help her out without her getting hurt.

warnings: doctor talk, fluff, tiny bit of angst, very sad family reunion, tears lol, some cussing. angst at the end tho lol

a/n: this part will be both fluffy and sad! also, it makes me so happy that so many people are wanting to be tagged in this!! please feel free to shoot me an ask, message or comment if you want to be tagged!! enjoy <3

word count: 2.8k

••••••••

"Mummy...?"

You couldn't believe what you were seeing right in front of you. Your mom, dad and twin brother were standing right before your eyes. Tears poured down your cheeks, your vision blurry from the salty liquid. You stood up from the wheelchair and ran into the arms of your family. You all held onto to each other, you ignored the soreness coursing throughout your body as you felt tight arms wrapped around you. You bawled into your dad's shoulders as your brother rubbed your back and your mom ran her fingers through your hair. Ben watched, his heart growing warm as he witnessed you in your happiest state. You dreamt of seeing your family again, although it was under better circumstances, but that didnt matter. They were finally there, holding you and making you feel safe.

After five minutes of crying and grabbing at eachother, the four you finally pulled away from one another. With tear stained cheeks, red and puffy eyes, you smiled brightly and help your hand to your heart. You figured Ben set this all up and made a mental note to make it up to him. Your brother, James, came up to you and placed his hands on your cheeks, wiping the tears from your eyes. You smiled and put your hands on top of his, looking him in the eyes. He had changed quite a bit from the last time you saw him. He had scruff growing all along his face, making him no longer look like a baby. You used to make fun of him for being a late bloomer, calling him "baby face" and pinching his cheeks. Now your baby brother, who was born a minute after you, was a big man. Although just 60 seconds apart, you always made him know that you were older.

"Look at how grown up my baby brother is!"

"You're only sixty seconds older than, you're not that cool." He chuckled and rolled his eyes playfully. He planted a small peck on the top of your head, taking advantage of his towering height over you. You smiled and leaned into him, scratching his back as he planted his chin on the top of your head. You both stayed in the position for awhile. Soon enough, tears formed in your eyes as guilt washed over you. You had always longed for warm and sweet hugs from your brother. His hugs had always made you instantly feel better if you were having a shitty day. He had always been taller than you, which made his hugs better. The sight made your mother cry as well, finally seeing her babies together again. She always took pictures of the hugs you and James shared. Her excuse as to why was to make y'all remind each other that you actually loved one another when you two got into typical brother/sister arguements. Everyone knew deep down that she took them for herself.

"I have missed you three way more than words could ever describe. I hate myself for never contacting you guys. I was just so-"

"Afraid? It's okay, Lily, Benny told us what we needed to know. He didn't go into too deep of detail in case you wanted to say more." Your father proclaimed, bringing you into his embrace. You wept as he held you, feeling a mix of a million emotions. You gripped your father's back tightly, as if you were going to lose him again. You cried as you heard him say your nickname he had given you at the age of three. You took in his fatherly scent, a mix of after shave and lavender. For some odd reason, your father always smelt like lavender, you never questioned it because you didn't mind it at all. It was a comforting scent you've grown to love.

The two you pulled away, looking into each others eyes. You and your dad had the exact same eye color. A mix of light blue and emerald green, almost identical. Everyone always complimented your eyes, you always bragged about how you had the exact same eye color as your dad's. James even had the same eye color, which left your mum's chocolate brown eyes out of the picture. However, your brother and you always looked more like your mum than your pops.

Your father planted a kiss on your forehead and gave you a nice big squeeze before pulling away and turning towards Ben. He clapped a hand on his shoulder and drew him in for a hug. He had always been the hugging type of man, if he shook your hand, he probably didn't like you. So coincidentally, he shook Trevor's hand when they first met, which should have been your first warning sign.

"Thank you for taking care of her, Benny." He whispered to him, just so he could hear. Ben nodded, turning his head towards you. His heart melted as he watched you and your mum holding onto each other like a mom koala and its baby. If it was possible, his pupils would have been in the shape of a heart. To nobody's knowledge, Ben had been feeling something different for you lately. Something he'd never imagined feeling about you. It made his heart flutter at the sight of you, his knees buckle when you laughed or smiled, his cheeks flush when you touched him, and his heart grow more each time you spent time together. He couldn't even begin to express his feelings for you because he didn't exactly know what it was. He had spent countless hours trying to draw up some type of conclusion. He failed nevertheless. When you had first told him about Trevor and his abusive ways, he wanted to break down right then and there. His heart broke into a million different pieces, but he had to tape it up to stay strong for you. He would go home and cry into his pillow, guilt coursing through his veins as he couldnt get the images of someone hurting you mercilessly out of his head. He shuddered at the thought and snapped out of his daze when he felt James wrap an arm around his shoulders. Ben smiled and brought James into a tight embrace. James was like the brother Ben never had. When the three of you were in high school and you were beginning the stages of womanhood, he spent a lot more time James as you spent more time with girlfriends.

A week later...

Your eyes flitted open, adjusting to the bright sunlight peaking through the curtains. You looked around, smiling at the fact that you had finally been discharged. You were discharged the following Friday when your family visited. Sadly, your parents lived five and half hours away and your brother lived even farther than them. They stayed until Friday morning, helping you get ready to leave. You spent that entire week, catching up with them and making plans for when you start feeling better. In this midst of that, Ben was off with Gwilym, making some plans of his own that you had zero knowledge of. He came back that Friday to take you back home to his flat. While you were in the hospital, James, Gwil and Ben had been moving your stuff out of your flat after it had been released by the police. You admitted to Ben that you were too afraid to live there anymore. Thus creating the idea of you moving into Ben's flat. He had two more spare bedrooms that you live in. You basically lived with him anyways so there wouldn't be that much of a difference. So you agreed, after arguing with Ben about you paying rent and him insisting that he doesnt give a damn. The two of you finally came to the compromise you paying fifty fifty of the rent with him each month.

Taking a deep breath, you swung your legs over the bed, throwing your comforter off of your body. Disconnecting your phone from the charger and slipping on some house shoes, you made your way downstairs to see Ben in the kitchen cooking the two of you some delicious breakfast. Which contained waffles, bacon, scrambled eggs, english muffins with strawberry cream cheese (your favorite), and tea. You shot him a warm smile as you walked towards the kitchen island and jumping up to plop a seat on it.

"What are we gonna do today?" You asked, reaching your hand towards the english muffins, only for Ben to smack it and tsk you. You creased your eyebrows and pulled away, playfully pouting. Ever since you got out of the hospital, living with Ben had been such a breeze. You were still on medical leave from work and Ben didn't have many big things in his acting world at the moment so you both spent quite some time together. He helped you sell your old flat and put all of Trevor's shit into a storage unit. You hadn't seen Trevor since you saw him being arrested after the attack. It was quite the heavenly sight to see, though the events that led up to it were horrific. You still had nightmares from the attack, causing you to wake up at ungodly hours in a sweat and tears. Ben wasn't aware of these nightmares because he slept like a rock. The only way you could calm yourself was to walk around the house, to become aware of your surroundings, to know that you were now safe. Often, you'd find yourself sitting outside of Ben's door, tempted to knock and crawl into his arms. Just knowing he was in the room comforted you. Luckily, he let you have the room that was closest to his, making it accessible for the two of you reach each other quickly.

"Maybe shopping? Need to get some more groceries then maybe we could go to the mall?" He asked, looking at you while carefully making you and himself a plate. Usually you'd argue about going shopping but since selling your house, you had some money in the bank. Along with the house, you also had money from your last check from work and your paid medical leave. When your boss had found out about your situation, he insisted on making it a paid medical leave as he wanted you not to worry about anything. You shrugged your shoulders in agreement. You had lowkey been wanting to do some retail therapy here lately. Usually, you'd be at the bottom of a vodka bottle, but it made you shiver at the thought of who you used to be.

"I wouldn't mind that, been wanting to go shopping lately. Retail therapy is the best way to go." You joked as you stabbed your fork into your waffle and bringing it to your mouth. Ben watched you, a smile rose on his lips as he did so. Each day he felt like he was falling harder and harder for you. He wanted so badly to ask you out but considering your trust for men has decreased dramatically, he decided against it and was willing to wait for you. He could never imagine pushing you and making you uncomfortable. It was the last thing he had ever wanted. All he wanted was to make you happy, together or not. Seeing your smile after going through a hurricane, made his heart sing.

"After this, don't forget to take your meds." Ben reminded as he started cleaning up all the dirty dishes he used to cook with. You nodded as you took a sip of your tea, not breaking eye contact with your phone. You had gotten a couple of sweet direct messages, emails and comments from Ben's fans every now and then when he post about you. His recent post was a picture of you in the wheelchair as you were leaving the hospital. You had a thumbs up and a soft smile. The caption always made you smile when you would read it.

'Strongest gal I have ever known. You're the bestest. @yourusername.'

You turned your phone off and put it face down, finishing up your breakfast and tea. You stood up, grabbing your cup and plate and placing them in the sink before heading to the upstairs bathroom. You let Ben know you were going to shower before you two would leave. He nodded and headed up to his room to get ready. When you made it to your closet, you tapped your index finger against your chin trying to decide what to wear for the day. You opted on an old vintage Queen shirt paired with some rocky denim shorts and cute wicker platform sandals. You set your outfit aside on your bed and undressed, getting ready to shower. Turning on some music, you turned the shower nob, making the shower piping hot just the way you like it. You hopped in, dancing and singing to the music that blared throughout the bathroom. You used a shampoo bottle as a microphone as you blared lyrics at the top of your lungs.

"Thank you for coming tonight. See you next time!" You announced to yourself in the mirror, trying to mimic crowd noise as you began to get ready. You dried your hair off with a blow dryer. You french braided it on both sides of your head, joining the two braids into a low messy bun. You pulled some baby hairs from your head, styling up the look a little better. After fondling with your hair, you began with your makeup. You swiped some concealer all over your face, blending it out with your sponge egg. You set the concealer with some powder and popped some nice and shiny highlighter on your cheekbones and inner corner of your eyes. You popped on some mascara, making your lashes POP and eye color beam. Finally done after applying a layer of chapstick, you slipped into your outfit. You wore a cute pastel yellow lacy bralette that went perfectly with your sandals and tshirt. Taking one last look in the full length body mirror, you nodded in content with the way you looked and finally made your way downstairs, after grabbing your wallet and phone.

Your sandals clicked against the tile as you skipped down the stairs. Ben was already done and ready to go when he saw you come down the steps. His heart lurched out of his chest at the sight of you, he couldn't help but smile at you.

"Ready to go?"

You nodded and slipped past him, beating him to his car. You waited for him to unlock it and slid into the passenger seat. You felt like today was going to be a great day. Nothing could stop the happiness you felt when hanging out with Ben.

The whole day consisted of laughter, shopping at the most random places, and loads of ice cream and random food trucks. This had been best day you've had in such a long time, all thanks to Ben. You were both strolling along inside the mall, when you spotted a Build-a-bear. You instantly started dragging Ben into the little store. When you were younger, your parents both bought you teddy bears. Ben, being the masculine boy he was, acted like it was too girly for him. Although when alone, he'd cuddle the bear close to chest and would yell at his mum if she tried to get rid of it.

"I have to get one!" You exclaimed as you went to choose your bear. Ben watched you adoringly with a loving smile on his lips. The way you stuck your tongue out of your mouth when you were trying to decide which bear you wanted made his knees want to pull below him. You ended up choosing a simple golden colored bear with green eyes. You stuffed it just enough for it to form but soft and cuddly. Finally, you got the choice of whether or not you wanted it scented. You chose not to because without anyone's knowledge, you planned on going home and spritzing it with Ben's cologne. When you were satisfied with how your bear turned out, you paid and the two of you finally ventured home.

"Today was so much fun Ben, thank you." You smiled and wrapped your arms around his waist, bringing him into a hug making him drop all the bags on the floor. He smiled and hugged you back just as warm and tight as you did. You pulled away far enough to look into his eyes. God his eyes always drew you in. You could stare at them all day long. Ben felt the same, you both were blessed with the most majestically colored orbs anyone could have. You smiled at him and brought your hands to his cheeks, softly pinching them.

"You're the best benny." You whispered as you laid your head on his shoulder. He planted his hand on the back of your head, lightly tangling his fingers in your hair.

"Come on, let's put this stuff up and go to bed."

••••••••

lol yay for shitty chapters bc i cant think straight

taglist: @benhardyisdaddy @monochromedeacon @queenbbarnes @haileylansley @shesakillerquueennn @onexlittlespark @zcars777 @loveandbeloved29 @beatlezrcool @likeit-or-leaveit @mrsmazzello @caborhapch @jacqueline1916 @thegarbage-queen @fatbottomedboi

perm taglist: @benhardyisdaddy @haileylansley @queenbbarnes @beatlezrcool @ezmina98

#having a freddie time #borhap #ben hardy x reader #ben x reader #ben hardy #bohemian rhapsody #gwilym lee #bran writes #save me #enjoy dis #ily to whoever reads this #please reblog #feedback is greatly appreciated #reblog

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karmanticmoved · 5 years

Note

1-85 uwu

j esus okay

1. describe yourself.

uh,, emotional ig, dumbass, quiet, exhausted all of the time, v queer, healthy mix of feminine and masculine, insecure, and not tha t great tbh. kinda a pussy ass b itch

2. if you could go anywhere for a week all expenses paid where would it be?

idrk. maybe somewhere like a hella nice beach in another country, maybe somewhere in europe. i like travelling but i hate the travel to get there and have no money so i havent put thought into it. maybe hawaii or somewhere like that.

3. do you have siblings?

the one thats still alive is my half brother

4. what is your favorite constellation, why?

orion maybe bc i don't know a lot but i can see that one from my bedroom window even in the city n idk. its comforting. or scorpius cause i'm a scorpio

5. favorite color.

yellow, pink, or blue.

6. what kind of music do you listen to?

almost anything. whatever catches my interest.

7. favorite flower. (you can name as many as you want cause flowers are awesome)

forgot what i said last time but those

yellow carnations i think?

8. if you could do magic, what is the first spell you would learn?

maybe smth to put myself to sleep immediately bc f uCk

9. favorite childhood memory.

my summer camp memories are pretty great. also memories of my dad and i going fishing are good.

10. have you ever been cheated on?

i mean in theory i couldve been bc online relationships but no. n im polyam and have identified as such for a majority of my relationships so no.

11. if you could describe your perfect room, what would it be?

big but not too big, yknow? like big enough that it can be filled and have room to walk around and lay on the ground or whatever but not Empty. and a pretty big bed to stretch out on, n a closet in the room. multiple windows w blackout curtains so theres light but it can be blocked out. n fluffy rugs or carpeting but preferably rugs in case smth spills so we can get it out of at least Remove the rug. and probably a cat tree thing in corner for dipper. n a computer desk and actual lights that light up the whole room. but probably,, fairy lights too bc full lights too bright. and i kinda want a pink room but blue or yellow work also. a nd pride flags on the walls + posters and various other stuff bc plain walls are boring. and tons n tons of b ooks too.

12. favorite animal.

river otter

13. what was the last photo you took of?

cat

14. do you believe in soul mates?

i'm not sure. i do kinda think there are people who you will like. really really click with and who become so important in your life that they're like. apart of u yknow? but i don't think that anyone as an individual needs to keep those people in their life forever. they arent destined to stay with them, and they shouldnt force that relationship (platonic, familial, romantic, or whatever) even if they were close for years and years. screw destiny. youll have people you care about, and sometimes you have to break that bond to save yourself, and thats okay. there will be other people who can and will be just as important. that got kinda off topic skbsks. i don't think theres really like Destiny soulmates. but there could be like. soulmates in the sense of for however long we're together, we're soul bonded. even if its not forever. does that even make se nse skbsns

15. do you hang toilet paper over or under?

over is the one thats socially acceptable right

16. your go to place to eat & your favorite thing to get there.

idk theres a place near a movie theater closeish to my house and its a nice little cafe and i dont eat there bc i dont eat much in general but i get their bubble tea and i love. raspberry bubble tea w rose popping bubbles. its comfort drink.

17. do you believe everything happens for a reason?

no. sometimes shit happens for no reason, and its bullshit, but you can't reverse it, so you gotta figure out how to move on from it.

18. guilty pressures?

im assuming thats meant to be pleasures

umm,, idrk. i don't know what exactly i like that would count as a guilty pleasure so,,

19. favorite mythical creature, why?

merpeople are s o cool i fuckin. love funky aquatic pals hell yeah. maybe im just Water babey but. they're rad. dragons are also hella cool bc like dragons???? theyre scaly and prett y and can breathe fire or have wings and kill u?? also like selkies bc again. water. but i used to hear a lot of stories abt them and theyre so nea t

20. something most people don’t know about you.

i have the potential to be a huge asshole and also kinda Wish to fuckin murder someone sometimes but. i act nice most of the time anyway.

not murder murder but i can get angr y enough that i just wanna Stab smth

21. where did you grow up, what was it like?

grew up kinda near the edge of the city, still in it but not like the main city area. in western washington. it was kinda rly boring, i used to spend a lot more time outside or just by myself playing with leaves or toys or whatever. when i had friends i played make believe w them even when outside of school. so yeah. boring id say.

22. do you believe aliens exist?

sure.

23. what was your last google search?

other than names for some actors n stuff, i was looking up various star wars things

24. what did your last relationship teach you?

the one that like. ended? i guess thatd be. be careful with your own feelings and try to figure them out before jumping into anything, and also don't try to force smth that in reality isnt really working.

25. would you relocate for love?

honestly yeah

26. do you hold grudges or forgive easy?

both. it just depends on how badly i or someone i care about was hurt by it. more likely to hold a grudge if a friend was hurt by someone d eep enough to leave a lasting impact or if they don't get a genuine apology i will be 🔫🔫. or if the person keeps hurting them. even if that person is also my friend.

27. favorite book.

favorite graphic novel is bloom by kevin panetta

favorite books in general are autoboyography, more happy than not, and what if its us. all gay. i know. its okay. im a kinnie.

28. do you consider yourself an extrovert or introvert?

introvert by far

29. have you ever kept a journal, do you now?

i tried once. i probably will have to once i go see a therapist, or at least one for my Bad Thoughts

30. top 5 favorite movies.

in no particular order

little shop of horrors, love simon, coco, it (2017 and 1990), and shazam! ig? maybe others but i definitely Forgot all the shit ive watched

31. do you believe that everything happens for a reason?

32. what is your greatest fear?

definitely gotta be all of the people i love hating me and abandoning me or secretly hating me and then leaving me without saying anything. and the worst part is im always afraid its gonna happen babeyy

33. favorite alcoholic beverage.

im baby

34. most embarrassing thing you’ve done.

im embarrassed by my own existence. i don't remember the Most embarrassing thing

35. do you believe in ghosts?

not until i have proof that i can actually trust and believe in

36. what is the best and worst part of your personality?

idk ig im nice. but im also. very easily set off on certain emotions especially the bad ones which sucks like especially jealousy bc i dont wanna!! feel jealous!! tho i think that ties into my greatest fear bc my brain immediately tells me im useless to everyone and they hate me. but. sometimes i get jealous and then feel bad for that and then hate myself for all of it. bc my friends deserve to hang out w other people and care about other people im just fucking stupid babey !!

37. should you split the dinner bill?

i rly don't get why you wouldnt tbh like if u both wanna be there u should both pay. but if one person gonna pay it should be the person that asked.

38. are you a good liar?

most of the time. when it comes to my mental health i can either lie great or im literally breaking down in front of the person so

39. what keeps you up at night?

depressing thoughts. anxiety about everything. wishing i could cuddle and fall asleep w jay. sometimes i just cant sleep bc im too restless.

40. would you rather go without your phone or music?

music. i need my phone to text my friends and i Need my friends

41. do you believe in god?

what god would let the world get to the point its at. what god would allow people to do such fucked up shit.

no. i don't.

42. how do you relax when frustrated?

cry, take a nap, take a shower, listen to music, cuddle dipper

43. what’s something that offends you?

when people go "oh yeah i support gay rights but im still gonna eat at chick fil a bc its good" like i get so fucking. pissed off by that. youre not gonna fucking s ta rv e without their goddamn chicken. i know a bi person who goes there and says its okay bc they dont Directly Give Their money to Specifically anti gay organisations but im just. ugh. fucking pissed bc there are other places to get food just avoid the one place for fucks sake. their food is good it doesnt matter. its like saying yeah pewdiepie is a bad person and nazi and a racist asshole but his videos r funni haha so im gonna watch him anyway

44. favorite food

i hate myself whenever i eat food

45. if you were on a 10 hour flight and could sit and talk to any person the entire time, who would it be?

@destinedformuchmore or @pinaplelee

46. when do you feel the most confident?

never? but ig i feel confident when working on tech construction during theater tech. as long as i know what im doing.

47. what do you do in your free time?

sleep. draw. cry. play video games. talk to my friends.

48. is there anyone who has completely lost your respect

matpat did for being a dick abt neopronouns and making a transphobic joke and only apologizing when a cis person told him to. not when hundreds of trans people did. and also other jokes that are inherently offensive to various groups. a n d for making extremely not Child friendly jokes in his videos which are very much targeted towards kids. say what you will about the target audience, there are a lot of children who watch them. please stop making creepy nsfw jokes if you won't even swear, sir.

49. have you ever broken someone’s heart?

i guess so yeah. but she also broke mine first.

50. did/do you play sports in school?

i did. i don't anymore bc highschool sports are bullshit but. basketball, ultimate, and soccer.

51. when are you happiest?

talkin 2 jay prolly

52. coffee or tea?

tea

53. what is one possession you own you wouldn’t want to live without?

my binder. or my stuffed cat puppet thing ive had since i was 7

54. what is the first thing you notice about a person?

their general emotions, mostly. like if theyre in a good mood or if theyre bored or distracted or whatever. or if they seem interested in actually talking to me

55. what is your favorite season, why?

fall. my birthday, the atmosphere is nice, it's pretty, its hoodie weather.

56. what makes you laugh?

stupid little comments or jokes my friends make tend to make me laugh a lot harder than i should but jabdn

57. are you a clean or messy person?

a mix. i Cannot have some things messy or i will ksjqkd. Die but i don't make my bed too often bc its ha rd when its against 3 walls.

58. what is important for a successful relationship?

communication communication communicati

talk about ur goddamn problems n keep talking to each other.

59. what was your upcoming like?

if thats supposed to be upbringing

idk, very relaxed. pretty easygoing and kinda boring.

60. favorite holiday?

any holiday in december rly. i don't celebrate a Lot but the atmosphere and others celebrating is nice to see. i kinda wish my parents did more to embrace the jewish part in our family blike. whatever. christmas is fun.

61. what is the first thing you’d do if you won the lottery?

give half of it to my parents. and then probably use it for plane ticket

62. what’s the best pizza topping combination?

hawaiian pizza. pinapple n canadian bacon ty

63. favorite outdoor activity.

frisbee

64. how are you? honestly.

not great. i want highschool to end.

65. would you rather go camping in the woods or stay at a beach resort?

idk. camping is fun but if i get to stay at the resort for free i would rly love 2 stay at a resort tbh ive never done that

66. what is the most beautiful thing in nature?

waterfalls. or rivers or just. water in nature. and very green forests. aNd snow.

67. favorite type of candy?

none

68. if your life was a book, what would be the title?

i can and will do arson, an autobiography

69. what movie quotes do you use of a regular bases?

i quote john mulaney and whatever my obsessions are pretty regularly

70. what was cool when you were young but not cool now?

silly bandz. pokemon cards. these weird unicorn figures i collected

71. what’s the craziest conversation you have ever eves dropped on?

im mostly the one having the weird conversations

72. what’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched?

i watched one about dogs and cats and their evolution which was lit

73. what’s the worst hairstyle you’ve had?

when i let the lady just go fuckin ham on my hair bc i was watching spirit that horse movie and didnt wanna stop so it was. rly bad bangs and hella short in back but not the sides

74. what do you like to cook?

whatever im hungry for. i don't have the energy to cook a lot

75. what’s the coolest animal you’ve seen in the wild?

really pretty tropical fish

76. what’s the funniest tv show you’ve ever seen?

idk. i rly like schitts creek its pretty amusing

77. do you usually follow your heart or your head?

heart at first but my head if things get bad

78. what is your favorite quote?

"i have a splitting headache and i think i'm dying. how are you?"

or a character just saying "try harder" when another failed to do smth.

this is supposed to be deep or whatever but im in a Mood

79. what’s the weirdest crush you have ever had?

once had a crush on a character in a minecraft parody lmao

80. what’s your love language?

sending shit that makes me think of them. n just. making tons of stuff for them both online and irl like bracelets.

81. do you ever feel alone?

oh yeah. all the time. im not but it feels like i am which sucks

82. ever been bullied?

yeah

83. are you usually early or late?

late bc of my parents rip

84. what kind of art do you enjoy most?

drawing, or writing. also theater.

85. what do you wish you knew more about?

i just wish i could remember everything ive learned more about. i know a lot i just forget all.

id like to know more about forensics tho

#asks #long post #friends

2 notes · View notes

reesewestonarchive · 5 years

Text

chapter five / rem belongs to @forlornraven / masterpost / mature content

I don’t have a tag list so if you’re interested lemme know

South of the California border, Nakoa finds it.

The weather’s good, better than the Midwest, and Rem’s attitude is better. Freer.

Nakoa likes him like this. He buys booze and cigarettes with money that he won in pool in Vegas, and Nakoa makes a deal with a hippie they meet outside a record store for weed, and strolls the streets of Ferris, California high as a kite.

He feels pretty fucking good when he finds it, a tiny shop tucked away in between a coffeeshop and a consignment store. Music plays so loud it drifts onto the street, and Nakoa steps inside after he puts his joint out.

The shop owner lifts a hand at him in greeting, but says nothing. There’s a sign overhead that reads, DISCOUNT CASSETTES - $2 and Nakoa makes his way there, ignoring the albums and the deep seated desire he has to own them again.

When he gets a job. When he settles down.

London Calling sits right on top, along with a few other albums. Nakoa peeks inside, makes sure they’re right, that they’re really the one he wants, and… they are. All of them in damn near pristine condition.

Nakoa blinks. Picks up all three albums, puts them carefully on the counter and slaps seven dollars on the counter as well.

The clerk blinks at him. “Cassettes?”

“The van only has a tape deck.” Nakoa prefers it. CDs scratch, they skip. A tape deck can be rewound, if the ribbon comes out. Spliced back together.

The sound quality sucks, but Nakoa’ll make do.

The clerk shoves the tapes into a brown paper bag, and Nakoa leaves.

Stuffs it into his pocket, and continues down the street, taking in the city.

LA’s bigger, but Ferris is huge. Nakoa feels anonymous, here, lost amongst the sea of suits and skirts. There’s freedom, here, in a way Nakoa isn’t used to, even from the days in car from Withervale.

He crosses the crosswalk, wonders what Rem’s doing now. If he found another idiot to hustle, if he’s gambling.

If he’s still lying in the room at the motel, like he was when Nakoa left him.

“Hey,” Nakoa says, when he opens the door to the motel room, digging for the joint as he does. “I have something for—”

The motel room is fucking trashed. The bed upended, the TV sideways on the floor, scratches in the walls. Broken tables.- light flickers from where it hangs on the wall, and.

There’s a lot of fucking blood. Nakoa’s mouth goes dry, and he takes a careful step forward into the room. Wonders if he should say anything. If he should call Rem’s name, or turn around and leave.

Th van still sits in the parking lot, though, so Nakoa steps forward, into the room.

“Rem?” he calls, quiet, then louder. “This some kind of fucking trick?”

Shallow breathing, and Nakoa wishes he had a weapon. But then, Rem’s arm comes over the side of the bed, still donned in the bracelets he always wears. Relief might wash through him were it not for the blood.

“What the fuck?”

Rem staggers to his feet. “It’s—fine. Shut up.”

“There’s—” Nakoa makes a gesture to the walls. “No!” He feels a bit like he’s flailing in the water, trying not to drown when he should know how to swim. It’s not the first time. It won’t be the last.

“It’s not mine,” Rem says, like that’s supposed to help. His voice is strained. He’s holding his side, limping, and—”Don’t give me that look, Warren.”

Nakoa clenches his jaw. “What happened.”

His brain is a fog of relaxation and weed and Rem is a fan blowing it all away.

Rem sits on the edge of the bed. Surveys the damage. “The van’s still out there, right?”

“That’s not a fucking answer!”

His voice sounds too loud in the space, and someone knocks on the walls, harsh and Nakoa has half a mind to ask them what the fuck happened.

The album weighs heavy in his pocket. He says, “Rem. What the fuck?”

A beat and then Rem snaps, “Like you’re some kind of fucking saint.” Before Nakoa can respond, he says, “I was cleaning up your mess.”

“What mess?!” What has Nakoa done, aside from shop, get high, fake ID himself into a liquor store; beside put the idea of leaving in Rem’s head to begin with—besides pay for the fucking motel rooms and food, and—

Nakoa grits his teeth.

“You’re an addict,” Rem says, pot calling the kettle, and, Nakoa sees red. “And you’re more trouble than you’re worth, you know that?” His tone falls flat on his tongue and, hell. Nakoa grinds his teeth, angry and lost and heartbroken. “Always looking for your next fix.”

“Fuck you,” Nakoa says, and wishes the blood on the walls were Rem’s, because maybe then he’d shut up. “You—” He wants to punch him, but—

Rem stares at the walls, at the floor, his voice sharp when he says, “Why’d I fucking come with you?”

His tone is vicious. Nakoa’s not sure he’s ever heard him so fucking irritated, so irate, so cruel. Rem says a lot of shit, his mouth gets him into trouble in more than one way, but Nakoa’s not used to being on the receiving end.

“What the fuck did I do? Besides give a shit about you, want you to be happy?” Nakoa grits his teeth. He can’t throw punches, really wants to knee Rem in the dick for this, for dragging Nakoa across the country and pulling this on him because—

Because he got fucking scared.

Rem’s still talking, continuing to throw shit around the room, cursing Nakoa’s tendencies towards whiskey and weed, at the one time he tried heroin, voice growing louder and louder until Nakoa snaps.

“You want me gone, I’m gone. Take the fucking van.” Nakoa pulls the albums from his jacket, holds them in the air, then throws them at Rem’ chest, grateful for the way he flinches, for the clack the cases make as they fall to the floor. “Good fucking luck.”

He turns, then, sticks his hands in his pocket, and disappears through the door to the room.

“Where are you going, Warren?” Rem calls, stalking after him.

“Doesn’t matter. Not here.”

Panic might settle in his chest, if it weren’t for the weed clouding his head. He’ll figure it out. Sell himself, if he has to.

But Rem grabs at Nakoa’s arm, desperation written across his face, and Nakoa almost gives. Almost. “I’m—Nakoa. Come on.”

Just fucking once, Nakoa wishes he’d say please. “What?”

Rem licks his lips, lets go of Nakoa’s wrist. “Don’t make me say it.”

Because it’s so terrible. Nakoa goes, anyway, won’t, doesn’t listen.

It starts raining. Nakoa walks around town, without Rem at his side, and in Ferris, it’s hard to not draw attention. Nakoa ducks into a bar, flashes a fake ID, and downs three shots of whiskey in one go. It’s smooth, warm, gentle.

The things Rem aren’t, and Nakoa knows he won’t find an answer at the bottom of a shot glass, but.

Worth a try, anyway.

He keeps to his own, glaring at anybody that tries for conversation. Nakoa’s chest aches with fury, but as the night wears on, and the clock ticks closer to last call, Nakoa regrets leaving.

Did Rem leave, Nakoa wondered. If all that’s left is Nakoa’s shit. Would he? Would Rem leave him here? Alone in a strange town. Nakoa’s been left in worse places, but the idea that Rem left, without him, is… fuck, he wishes he could call him. Talk to him without seeing his face.

He closes his eyes and shoves his palms against his eyes. The bartender clicks her tongue and says, “Suck it up, sweetie. Life just gets more exhausting the older you get.”

With a peek through his fingers, Nakoa says, “Great.” Life already seems pretty shit. Nakoa can’t take much more. “That’s uplifting.”

“Not my job to reassure,” she says, and Nakoa thinks he’d sleep with her, if she asked. “My job is to pour shots. You ready for round two?”

Round two ends up in the alleyway behind the bar, smell of vomit and alcohol pungent in the air. Maybe Nakoa’s not the only one drowning a past he’d rather not remember.

Rem is beside himself at the motel, pacing back and forth with his keys in his hand when Nakoa stumbles through the front door. “Thank fuck,” Rem says, his expression so relieved it looks painful.

Like nothing he’s ever felt before, Nakoa wants to touch. Rest his head against Rem’s chest and wrap his arms around his torso. Press his nose against Rem’s jaw, and…

“Are you okay?”

Nakoa nods. The world spins. He shakes his head. Closes his eyes against the onslaught of nausea and says, “Move,” shoving Rem out of the way and heading to the bathroom to dry heave into the toilet.

Sick sounds echo off the tile in the room, and Nakoa’s muscles ache, but he sits for an hour. Half an hour, until he stops feeling woozy. Until he can get up and…

He makes it to the other room, collapses on the bed. Just a second later and Rem sits beside him, drawing his fingers through Nakoa’s hair with feather light touches.

Nakoa hums. Pushes against Rem’s hand.

“Feeling any better?”

No. Nakoa says nothing, squirms down to rest his head on Rem’s lap, though, one leg on the floor to keep the spinning in his head down. Even the thought of talking sends his stomach into twists, so he draws his nails along the seam of Rem’s jeans.

With a sigh, Rem starts working at Nakoa’s shoulders. It’s as much of an apology Nakoa thinks he’ll ever get. “I’m glad you came back,” he says, his voice soft and quiet. Nakoa waits, for an explanation, for anything, but Rem says nothing. Not about that, anyway. Not about what Nakoa wants him to say. “We could stay here,” he suggests instead.

“No,” Nakoa says. He hates California already. “Mountains.”

Before he passes out, he hears Rem’s soft chuckle, thinks he must imagine the fondness seeping through.

When Nakoa wakes, it’s to the dim glow of the television, Rem’s soft breathing behind him. Rem’s arm is a comfortable weight over Nakoa’s waist.

He has, he notes with distaste, vomit in his hair, and the entire room smells of it—and lemon cleanser, distantly.

Nakoa pulls a hand up to scrub at his face, stare at the ceiling.

Thinks this place is garbage. In a way, he misses the midwest. He never got in trouble in the midwest… at least, not like this.

He shoves Rem’s arm off his waist and sits. Sits on the edge of the bed and feels a thousand years old, a headache that pounds at the back of his skull like a hammer.

“Mm?” Rem says, reaching out. His fingers brush the back of Nakoa’s shirt. “You okay?”

“Fine,” Nakoa says. “Go back to sleep.”

He goes for a shower, then, cold not by choice but by poor water heaters, lets the chill wash goosebumps over his skin. Nakoa’s been high once, one time since they left Withervale, and… what would the hippie have to do with him, now? Nakoa paid. He paid extra, even, because he liked the guy.

…is that what he did wrong?

The door to the bathroom opens. Through the frosted glass door, Nakoa makes out Rem’s form as he comes in. Still, Nakoa says nothing, turns away, shoves his face under the water.

Not sure if it’s shame or anger keeping him from speaking.

The door slides open after a minute and Nakoa hears, feels Rem’s presence as he climbs in behind him. “Shit that’s cold—” he says, and presses himself against Nakoa’s back.

“What are you doing?” Nakoa asks, his voice barely audible over the roar of the water. Rem presses his lips to Nakoa’s shoulders in a kiss. He’s tired. He aches, everywhere, but especially his stomach, his shoulders, with the effort of throwing up. The last thing he wants to do right now is balance for shower sex, or get on his knees.

But Rem’s hand doesn’t travel downward, doesn’t go anywhere except around Nakoa’s waist to tug him tight against him. He’s not hard, either. Not yet. Nakoa’ll give it five minutes and call it.

“You freaked me out,” Rem says, his voice soft. “Thought… what if he doesn’t come back?”

Nakoa goes still, his eyes set on the small bar of soap sitting on the ledge, but that’s… it. Doesn’t say anything else, doesn’t know that he can. His toes are starting to feel like ice. He twists the hot water all the way to the left, but even as the water finally starts to warm up, Rem is still like a fire against his back.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you?”

“This supposed to be an apology?” Nakoa asks. He reaches for the soap, not sure if he cares about pissing Rem off, now. Let him be pissed. What’s he going to do, leave Nakoa here? “It’s pretty fucking lacking.”

“Fuck you,” Rem says. His voice isn’t as harsh as Nakoa thinks he means for it to be, though. Instead, it’s… softer, quiet. Gentle, and Nakoa suppresses a shudder when Rem brushes his lips along the back of his neck. He pushes Nakoa’s wet hair out of the way and adds, “It’s good you came back.”

All the right sentiment and the wrong words. Nakoa relents, finally, says, “Don’t have anywhere else to go.” And he doesn’t. He’s not sure what might await him at home, but he’s not keen on finding out. The other options are hardly appealing—wandering the countryside as a homeless weirdo… Nakoa’ll pass.

Even at his worst, Rem’s still the best thing that’s ever happened to Nakoa. A lifetime of shit led them here, in this moment.

“What do you want from me?”

The water pounds against Nakoa’s skin, almost aching now in its heat. He closes his eyes, rubs soap against his body, and thinks. Commitment’s too much to ask. Nakoa’s not sure he wants it anyway. What would he do with commitment?

“I don’t know,” Nakoa says.

Rem doesn’t speak, after that.

The bed feels better after cleaning the grime off, so just as daylight begins to peek out of the curtains, Nakoa climbs back under the covers. The sheets smell like Rem and spilled whiskey, and he inhales once, twice, heavy and deep, before he settles in.

His head isn’t pounding as bad, anyway. Finally.

Rem’s pulling on his boots at the small table, though. He pauses before he ties the last one, his gaze heavy enough on Nakoa that Nakoa opens an eye, then two. He croaks, “What?” and doesn’t expect an answer.

“I’ll be back later.”

And out the door he goes.

The trouble is, Nakoa’s used to Rem’s disappearances. Before the door’s even locked behind Rem, Nakoa’s eyes are closed again. Rem does better no questions asked, so Nakoa doesn’t ask. Figures if it’s important, Rem will tell him.

He dreams of white picket fences, of guys with clubs and bats, of broken windows and Rem’s bloody knuckles. Of motel rooms across the country, of Disneyland. Of being happy, and Nakoa thinks, that’s what he should have told Rem, when he asked in the shower what Nakoa wanted from him.

Happiness.

#road to nowhere au #my writing

14 notes · View notes

bronzeflower · 5 years

Text

Who The Fuck Writes A Ten-Page Rant?????

Chapter 21: The Rappest Conversation

Also on ao3

It was your self-imposed day off, so you started the day by sleeping until afternoon. After making yourself breakfast and eating it, you played Slime Rancher for about two hours because it was a nice relaxing game that Roxy bought you for Gristmas last year.

Everything was peaceful. Nothing could possibly ruin this.

Oh look. John was pestering you. You hadn't talked to him in while, even though he was your best bro. You guessed both of you have been pretty busy lately.

-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

EB: hey, dave! EB: we haven’t spoken in ages!

TG: yeah man its been entirely too long TG: ive turned to dust while you were gone TG: ive become one with the desert and sand TG: im the sand on the beach that gets stuck inside an oyster TG: and the oyster is like what the hell are you doing here you dumbass motherfucking sand TG: im here to ruin your life oyster TG: thats basically my job TG: why are you doing this you tiny bit of sand TG: i already answered that question TG: okay fine be that way says the oyster TG: ill just turn you into a pearl so that youre no longer stabbing me everywhere TG: and then i was transformed into a dope ass pearl TG: the prettiest goddamn pearl in all the land TG: im turned into one of a pair of earrings that are sold for more that your life is worth TG: im bought by a rich woman looking for jewelry to show off TG: its passed down through the generations until the wealth they had dwindles and runs out TG: so now the earrings are sold for a dollar just to get the money for food that night TG: its a tragic tale TG: anyway TG: how are you doing

EB: dave, did you copy and paste an entire act of a play into this chat?

TG: what no TG: it is all natural and organic typing from scratch going on here TG: absolutely no foul play involved and to even imply such is an insult to my craft

EB: alright, fine! EB: i will not insult your “masterpiece” anymore. EB: if you can even call it that.

TG: oh wow sick burn TG: but like seriously speaking how is your stuff going TG: like the comedy stuff TG: have you yet to release an hour long special containing your hilarious jokes TG: and like half of the time is taken up by people laughing at them so its not even a true hour long special its more like a half hour long special and you didnt even manage to make it through all the material you had prepared TG: you know like you did in school where you accidentally prepared too much for a presentation and then get cut off because your time is up TG: and you still have like an hour and half left of material that youve collected that ended up just being a pile of wasted effort

EB: maybe not to that extreme. EB: :P EB: i haven't gotten my show up on netflix yet, but i am certainly planning on it! EB: watch out for it!

TG: do you still have that one person booing you at a bunch of your shows

EB: yeah, it is getting pretty annoying at this point, but i don't really want to do something like call security to remove someone for booing at my show. EB: that just seems as little bit over kill.

TG: i thought you were going to do a comedy sketch about them

EB: oh yeah! EB: i forgot about that.

TG: who are you jade harley

EB: what! EB: jade is great at remembering things!

TG: shes really not she just has a really fucking good system for making certain she remembers things TG: she has to build a physical barrier to her door so that she doesnt forget her keys TG: and she has so many keys to her house they are literally everywhere

EB: huh. EB: i guess i havent really visited jade in a while, have i?

TG: i would highly recommend going to her place at some point TG: and just hanging out with her in general TG: although youd probably have to plan a whole trip for it TG: just like TG: drop by or whatever next time youre where shes currently living

EB: messaging her might be a little bit more practical.

TG: yeah probably TG: anyway you really should get on writing that sketch about the lady I booing you

EB: yeah probably.

TG: yeah man how else are you going to get back at her TG: also when you finally do perform it please tell me what happened TG: or send me a recording of it TG: jk ill buy the recording TG: i always buy the recordings of your shows TG: but youll have to tell me which recording its in so that i can prepare myself

EB: maybe i won’t tell you which recording it’s in just so you're surprised by it. EB: like a schrodinger’s recording.

TG: does that mean you might be dead in one of them

EB: i hate to tell you this now dave, but i’m actually a ghost.

TG: shit ive been friends with a ghost this whole time thats actually pretty fucking dope TG: how do you do comedy sketches as a ghost TG: with the whole intangible thing TG: also with the people not being able to see you thing TG: wait TG: i wouldnt be able to message you if you were completely intangible TG: you must be a poltergeist or something TG: is there anything i can do to help you pass on

EB: yeah, you have to burn my body. EB: that’s what they do in all of the supernatural movies and shows where there’s a ghost.

TG: alright i am fully prepared to do that TG: i however have absolutely no idea where your grave is

EB: i know where your grave is.

TG: well thats not ominous at all TG: i dont even have a grave

EB: as far as you know.

TG: are you telling me that im dead TG: am i also a ghost

EB: i’m sorry i didn’t tell you sooner! EB: but yes we’re both ghosts. EB: i was supposed to wait for you to figure it out yourself, but it’s taking so long, so i guess i got a little impatient. EB: :B

TG: yeah but i still dont remember anything about dying or anything like that

EB: maybe you'll remember someday. EB: i’ve got to go right about now though. EB: i compromised my mission, and now i have to go through remedial training.

TG: ill wish you luck

EB: who needs luck when you have skill?

TG: okay then no good luck from me TG: i take it back TG: youve got this handled due to the sheer amount of awesomeness you have

-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

TG: oh no they got you TG: i know i said i didnt wish you good luck but i actually did TG: you cant give back a good luck TG: you can never give back a good luck TG: the blessing is yours now forever and ever TG: or however long you live i guess TG: thats going to take a butt load of time TG: anyway TG: i should probably get going too TG: instead of just having a conversation by myself after you left TG: and like go and have a conversation with someone else TG: maybe with jade TG: i havent talked to jade in a while TG: wonder how her pumpkins are doing TG: i wonder if shes harvested them yet TG: or if its even time for that TG: i swear i do actually listen when she talks about gardening TG: but i dont remember what half the harvest times for a bunch of the vegetables she grows TG: dont tell her that TG: or do TG: she probably already knows TG: shes always had a tendency to know things that other people would have absolutely no clue of knowing about TG: anyway TG: ill pester you again at some point eventually TG: ill go pester jade instead now TG: see ya

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

TG: yo jade how are your pumpkins doing TG: is it about time to harvest them or anything TG: or has that already happened TG: when do people harvest pumpkins again

GG: ive harvested them!

TG: awesome were they tasty

GG: of course they were!!! GG: i made pumpkin pie and roasted pumpkin seeds GG: and then i sold all the leftover pumpkins

TG: yeah what kind of profit did that turn

GG: quite a bit, actually! GG: especially with the fact that pumpkins are basically weeds GG: because they grow back no matter what you do GG: no GG: matter GG: what GG: but people fucking love pumpkins during the fall seasons

TG: yeah everyone goes batshit for that kind of stuff TG: got that pumpkin spice everywhere TG: and colorful trees and sweater weather TG: unless you live in the south TG: then there are just two seasons TG: summer and cooler summer

GG: those were basically the seasons on the island i grew up on too GG: im so glad i get to see snow where i live now!!! GG: i always wanted to play in it growing up!!!

TG: tbh we should coordinate and try to play in the snow together at some point

GG: yes!!! GG: but, no GG: :( GG: itd be way too difficult to coordinate that kind of thing

TG: yeah probably TG: but maybe one day if we happened to be in the same area and it happened to snow TG: we could get together and play in the snow and build snowpeople and snow angles

GG: dont you mean snow angels?

TG: i meant what i said TG: were gonna be drawing angles in the snow TG: forty five degrees sixty degrees one hundred and eighty degrees TG: well have all the angles right there written in the snow because no one can tell us what to do

GG: i still think id rather make snow angels though

TG: fair enough TG: you stick with your boring old snow angels TG: and ill have a fantastic time making all my fucking snow angles

GG: :/ GG: you do that, i guess GG: i still think making snow angels will be more fun!

TG: suit yourself TG: anyway im being messaged by someone else so ive gotta bounce

GG: alrighty, see ya!

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

GC: D4V3

TG: terezi

GC: H4V3 YOU S33N TH1S?? GC: F1L3.COM

TG: well it would seem that im being framed for murder and no one told me

GC: NO GC: 1N C4S3 TH4T H4PP3N3D 1 WOULD S3RV3 4S YOUR PROS3CUT3R

TG: wouldnt you be unable to participate in the trial because you have a bias because were friends

GC: Y3S BUT TH4T 1S B3S1D3 TH3 PO1NT GC: W41T GC: 1S 1T B3S1D3 THE PO1NT OR B3S1D3S TH3 PO1NT??

TG: no idea TG: does it matter

GC: 1 GU3SS NOT GC: JUST LOOK 4T TH3 GODD4MN M3M3

TG: nice

GC: H3H3H3H3H3H3

-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

CG: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

TG: so what stuck itself up your ass

CG: DID TEREZI SEND YOU THAT MEME?

TG: what meme i have no idea what meme your talking about

TG: i dont even know what a meme is TG: you could hear me say that but i pronounced meme as me me TG: because thats how little i know about memes TG: ive never even seen one in my life TG: you dont have any proof that tz showed me the meme that you are talking about like less than five minutes ago about the ten page rant that you sent to complain about my channel

CG: THAT’S REALLY SPECIFIC, AND IT MAKES ME SUSPICIOUS AND PRIVY TO THE IDEA THAT YOU ACTUALLY DO KNOW WHAT A MEME IS.

TG: please spare me i have a family

CG: I WASN’T AWARE THAT YOU HAD KIDS.

TG: youre right i dont have kids TG: not in reality TG: imaginary kids TG: all running around and being great and fantastic and not fucked up at all TG: thats the fucking dream

CG: DAVE, WE’RE NOT HERE TO DISCUSS YOUR INSECURITIES DEALING WITH THE POSSIBILITY OF HAVING KIDS OR WORKING WITH KIDS. CG: WE’RE HERE TO TALK ABOUT THE MEME TEREZI SENT YOU.

TG: why do you even care so much about a meme TG: its a meme and its harmless fun TG: even if it does include a picture of you topless

CG: EXACTLY. CG: I’M GOING TO NEED YOU TO DELETE ANY EVIDENCE OF THAT PICTURE, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU WANT TO KEEP IT.

TG: why would i want to keep it TG: maybe i already deleted it TG: maybe i didnt even save it TG: also why do you want me to delete so bad TG: its not much in the way of blackmail TG: who could possibly use it against you

CG: PEOPLE.

TG: thats specific

CG: I’M NOT REALLY IN THE MOOD FOR GOING INTO TOO MUCH DETAIL ABOUT THIS, SO COULD YOU PLEASE JUST TAKE MY WORD FOR IT AND DELETE THAT PHOTO?

TG: k

CG: REALLY? CG: JUST LIKE THAT?

TG: sure if it really matters to you that much ill make sure to get rid of it TG: you can tell me why at another time TG: i get if its too personal to talk about or whatever TG: sometimes that kind of thing happens TG: there we go TG: deleted photo

CG: THANKS

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

-- arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

AC: :33< *ac prowls up to the unsuspecting crow* AC: :33< *she asks meow the crow is doing!*

TG: *the crow says hes doing well and asks the same of the cat*

AC: :33< im fine! AC: :33< im meowstly just double checking the date and time we agr33d on for tea

TG: yeah im still on that day TG: just cant believe it in like a month and a half TG: seems like an almost unnecessary time to plan in advance

AC: :33< but it is a really meowfurlous tea place! AC: :33< its just a little exclawsive, so youve got to make reservations a bit in advance

TG: yeah i get that but the main question here is the dress code TG: can i show up in my jeans and hoodie or do ive got to pull out the singular suit i have TG: its bright red so i cant exactly wear it to black tie events

AC: :33< it s33ms more like mew should wear brunch attire

TG: khakis and a polo shirt got it

AC: ://< i guess thats brunch attire AC: :33< i would wear something a little nicer though

TG: so more like colorful khakis with a button down shirt that can hold cufflinks

AC: :33< yeah thats s33ms more appropriate AC: :33< mew could always ask kanya~a for advice on what to wear

TG: yeah im probably going to do that TG: also that cat pun in her name that you did was the best think ive heard all day ten out of ten would use again

AC: :33< thank mew! AC: :33< i like to give all meow furends cat pun names! AC: :33< its kind of hard to come up with them for some people though

TG: yeah im not sure how you can make a cat pun from dave TG: its pretty much impossible but if you do manage to do it i will be supremely impressed

AC: :33< meowbe a rhyming thing? AC: :33< like cavedave or something? AC: :33< but that makes you sound like some sort of caveman AC: :((< and thats not really cute

TG: maybe adding a hobby of mine of some sort to my name TG: like rapping TG: like rapnap dave or something TG: cause it sounds kind of like catnap

AC: :33< that certainly is a lot cuter! AC: :33< ill consider it! AC: :33< but ive got to go meow so we can talk later

TG: cool

-- arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

Since you were clearly talking to all your friends today, you might as well see if Aradia’s online as well. You’re pretty sure she was, and since you probably won’t get to contact her for a while, you might as well message her now.

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering apocalypseArisen [AA] --

TG: have you finally figured out how im going to die TG: or divined that kind of shit yet TG: saw it in the clouds or something TG: my hot as hell dead body floating in the water staining the fluid and polluting the river and making it muddy with red TG: taking a stabbing and falling and dying before i could ask if it was something i said TG: choking to death, clubbing to death TG: hit through the chest with some white magic TG: bleeding and crying as they take their last breath TG: its all just so horrible and tragic TG: having every single one of these dreams TG: but i think i know that theyre memories TG: had these nightmares since i was a kid TG: always wondered if it was something i did TG: cause they made me scared of clowns swords and puppets TG: made me too scared to watch even the muppets TG: but they’re not just mine cause it’s not always my body TG: lying on the ground looking super fucking shoddy TG: and all i can feel is the oppression and fear TG: of letting go of all we hold dear TG: stabbed with a sword we did abhor TG: all the death and the violence and blood TG: overwhelmed us like a flood TG: but try as we might we had no chance TG: we were always meant to lose this dance TG: alright im done that was a dope ass fucking rap thanks folks for listening to how awesome that was

AA: you will die on the twentieth day of april in the year of 2069 from drug overdose

TG: nice

AA: also your rap was both cool and concerning

TG: yeah im not sure if i actually thought at all about what i just said in that rap TG: so basically i forgot everything that i just wrote

AA: thats the beauty of a messaging platform AA: you can just scroll up and reread what you wrote

TG: im sorry im suddenly unable to read

AA: wow AA: youre really going to do this

TG: yes and i have no regrets TG: hi im jared im nineteen and i never fucking learned how to read

AA: your name is dave

TG: shit TG: caught in the lie TG: what time will i have to spend in jail officer

AA: well since im not a cop AA: none! AA: but im still curious about whatever the hell was going on with that rap

TG: maybe you should respond with the stuff thats bothering you in rap form TG: do a little rap battle TG: but like TG: with feelings and shit TG: you can talk about whats bothering you and then i can elaborate on the fuckery in my rap

AA: alright i dont see why not AA: it will probably help us both AA: my heart and my brains been pulled taught AA: stuck between work and the one that i love AA: cant help my job fits me like a glove AA: but i cant stop thinking about my matesprit AA: how hes gonna face it AA: cause he says he supports me AA: and he says that he agrees AA: with putting my job first and foremost AA: while he sits in one place and holds post AA: i didnt mind too much before AA: we had all i could adore AA: but since he proposed were going to be married AA: i just dont know if that life should be carried

TG: well that sounds like something you should talk about TG: because not doing so might leave you in a drought TG: in your relationship where miscommunications TG: might lead to decimation TG: or more likely just breaking up TG: but you dont want that to burn up TG: so just have a talk with him about your concern TG: and then your love will continue to burn

AA: did you just rhyme up with up

TG: dont judge me im trying to help

AA: your advice was good but i can still judge you for your lack of slam poetry skills

TG: hey ill have you know im the best in the business

AA: must be a very small business

TG: wow TG: i cant believe my own moirail would do this to me

AA: you know i had to do it to em

TG: i hate you and everything that you stand for

AA: likewise AA: aside from that AA: do you want to talk about those dreams you mentioned at the start of this conversation

TG: i will only answer that if you ask me in a rap

AA: what the fuck was up with those dreams AA: you seem to be tearing at the seems AA: with all the death and the dying AA: and it might seems like im lying AA: but ive had those too AA: hit in the face and bid me adieu AA: except im a ghost and dead AA: dont know how but i bled AA: then im a frog for some reason AA: it has something to do with treason AA: then a robot that i hated AA: someones kinks that were stated AA: then i blow up again and again AA: wake up in pajamas the color of cayenne AA: and thats when i know that im alive AA: and i know for a fact that i will thrive

TG: always thought that i was alone in this TG: but i guess im not so now ill remiss TG: on all these nightmares ive had TG: that were all really bad TG: i always thought it was because of my childhood TG: never thought that i would be old enough to get to my knighthood TG: thought i was going to die alone TG: thought they wouldnt even find a bone TG: thought no would care if i was gone TG: always felt like i didnt belong TG: i thought the dreams were a message, an order TG: to finally get rid of the disorder TG: that was me theyd promised id be free TG: but i still desperately wanted to be TG: alive and awake and active and happy TG: excuse me if this starts to get a bit sappy TG: but i wanted love TG: i wanted to be above TG: my bro who so obviously hated me TG: and everyone i know would agree TG: so no matter how much i wanted to die TG: there was always something just keeping me alive TG: a wish or a kiss or a day that gets better TG: a time when i get to open a letter TG: theres something to live for something to survive for TG: going and traveling and taking a tour TG: listening to music when i feel depressed TG: going outside when i feel repressed TG: reminding myself its gonna be alright TG: in order to tell myself not to go towards the light

AA: feeling alive is good

TG: yeah TG: it is TG: thanks for listening

AA: thank you for listening! AA: thats what being moirails is all about AA: listening to each other and doing our best to comfort each other AA: although i guess thats what friendship is about too AA: moirail is more of a formal title

TG: i get that TG: someones messaging me now though so i guess this is where we can end our convo

AA: dont be a stranger!

TG: not planning to be one TG: <>

`AA: <>

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering apocalypseArisen [AA] --

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

TT: Hello.

TG: yes just come up and start a chat using the most generic fucking greeting in the entire goddamn world TG: thats exactly how you start a conversation with someone youve known for years TG: start conversations by calling your friends a bitch like the rest of us

TT: I’m pretty sure I would like to have a little more class than that.

TG: ill bring you down to my level one day

TT: I will do my best to resist going down that low.

TG: listen TG: im pretty sure you dont have to go that far

TT: Wow. TT: Rude.

TG: thats a more appropriate way to talk to your brother

TT: I’ll be certain to use more crass language when greeting you next time I make the decision to start a conversation with you.

TG: anyway what did you want to talk to me about

TT: I would like to invite you to my party celebrating the release of my new book. TT: It takes place in a month at my house.

TG: you mean your big ass mansion

TT: Yes, I suppose that is an apt description of the location where I reside. TT: I suggest you dress formally for the occasion. TT: You can wear the suit that you had recently tailored for you.

TG: oh yeah the one kanaya made that feels like the softest goddamn plush toy in the childrens aisle

TT: Yes, please wear that one.

TG: alrighty sounds good to me

TT: Not going to argue about wearing jeans and a T-shirt instead?

TG: nah TG: not this time at least TG: im kind of excited to wear the one kanaya made anyway TG: especially since its the first suit that i actually kind of like

TT: Well, I look forward to seeing you at my party in a suit. TT: For now, I must go and give a few others personal invitations.

TG: k you do that

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

You proceeded to play videos games for the rest of the day because it was, in fact, your day off. You had to spend some of it by yourself after all.

#homestuck #hs #dave strider #rose lalonde #jade harley #john egbert #aradia megido #pale aradave #aradave

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dreamyarcana · 6 years

Text

A Price to Pay

hey y’all did you want some angst to brighten your day??

basically, I wrote my spin on the scene in Asra’s route (Book XV: The Devil) where you have to make a bargain with The Devil. Around 1800 words minus the dialogue.

All dialogue and characters minus the narrator (which is me) are obviously not mine, they’re intellectual property of The Arcana.

Help!

Faust's tiny voice is weak and vulnerable - it's one filled with fear. Asra and I share a glance, and we rush into the clearing, abandoning all caution we had before. There's a goat with a repulsive aura. It has red eyes and fur as white as snow, exactly like Lucio's. The markings on its forehead are distinct, dangerous looking, even. I recognize this new horror. However, much to my surprise, it bows before us.

Asra positions himself so he's between the goat and me. I can't help by feel a tiny blossom of light bloom in me - even in the worst situations, he was looking out for me. I wanted to cry and kiss him and hold him in my arms. But that wasn't an option right now. Worriedly, he glances back at me.

"Silver that's -" "I know who that is." I try to push whatever fear down my throat and stand up taller. No matter what, The Devil would not get the satisfaction of knowing he scared me half to death. He was one card I avoided or tried to avoid drawing, no matter what. Unlike Death, which looks bad and really isn't, The Devil, looks bad and is bad. He radiates a nefarious feeling. Cruelly, he holds Faust up as she struggles, like he was studying her intently. I clench my fist, furious. Let go! Her cries are so tiny as she struggles. I can't imagine what she's going through or thinking and wish nothing more to rescue her from this monster. A bile of hatred rises in my throat and I can feel myself glaring even more at the smug goat in the center. "Faust. Is that her name? How whimsical." The Devil's voice is not the gravelly, terrifying one I'd imagine. It had a handsome quality to it as if it was seductive and alluring me to fantasy of my dreams. I shake my head at myself and Asra gives me a worried expression before his attention snaps back to The Devil. "Asra and Silver ... welcome. First, I must apologize for the misbehavior of my underling." ...Great, we're starting out with bullshit. Glad to see this was going to go well with honesty and integrity. I curl my lip in disgust while Asra bristles indignantly beside me. His eyes are narrowed into dangerous slits, like a mother tiger protecting her cubs from the dangerous predator. "...your underling. Are you really going to tell me this is someone else's fault?" says Asra. "No need for such hostility. I simply just wished to talk to you. However..." The Devil gestures to Lucio, who slinks back just like Mercedes and Melchoir had when Portia commanded them to stop. "Rather than asking you politely, Lucio decided to kidnap poor Faust and abandon her in this maze. Most uncouth. Fortunately for everyone, no harm has come to her." Like hell no harm has come to her. You've scared her and that's a crime you would pay for by my hands if she wasn't in your ugly ass claws. I cross my arms, and then uncross them so I can take Asra's hand. He needs the comfort. "What do you want?" His voice is a growl as he spits out the unwanted words to the sinful being before us. "I want you and your dear Faust to be reunited, of course. But what is mortal saying? Possession is nine tenths of the law? I /am/ doing you a favor." Are you really? I really don't need be any closer to know than I am now, since I can smell your shit from all the way over here. I frown, making a face like I'm going to disagree and he continues. "Faust would've fared far worse in Lucio's tender care." That's an understatement, not only would Lucio have killed her, he would've likely cut her for Soup de Snake and have been broiling her or something. "I simply ask you for a favor. A trifle, really." A deal with the devil, just as the saying goes. This smells like trouble. Asra clenches my fingers even tighter now, and I try to squeeze back comfortingly. I can see how much this is hurting him and I can't help but want to take away every bit of his pain from him. "Get on with it. Tell me what you want," snarls the magician I love so dearly. I tense. I don't want Asra making any kind of dangerous deals any more. I don't want to see him hurt. He doesn't deserve any of this. "Oh, not with you. We've already dealt you and I." The Devil smiles, his defined mouth curling upwards unpleasantly. What does he mean by that? When Asra bargained half of his heart for my life, did he do it with The Devil? He couldn't have, oh please, no. Asra... I'm panicking as the gears turn in my head, but my thoughts come to a screeching halt as the snow white goat turns to me, the same sinister smile as before continuing to play on his lips. My pulse starts to increase, its drumming becoming erratic as the pounding in my head steadily agitates the rest of me. "No! No, listen to me, Silver," Asra begs, an equal amount of panic in his voice, "The Devil can't out right lie, but that doesnt stop-" Devil instantly draws a claw up to Faust's chin. No one says it, but it's easily understood that he's threatening Faust's life. I take a step forward, automatically reaching out towards the savage I loathe so much in the center. "Manners, Asra. I do detest rudeness." That's a little hypocritical, I want to say, considering you're being by holding Faust's life on the line. That's beyond rude, it's more like villainous and nonredeemable to me, but go off, I guess. "Silver, I propose you that you and I... Take a walk and have a private chat. We will be gone no more than an hour, probably less." ...that doesn't seem to awful, I guess, though I'd rather not be in the company of this terrible fiend. There were worse things, I suppose. Where was the catch though? A walk is a meaningless price to pay for Faust's safety and by extension, life. I brace myself. I am waiting for him to ask me to give up my magic or my life or half my brain or anything. I am waiting for the worst. But, strangely enough, it doesn't come. "After we are done, you will be free to go on your way. In exchange, for your charming time and company... I will immediately reunite your beloved Asra with his snake." Those words caught my interest and my eyes immediately shot to the snake his treacherous clutches. Anything to ensure Faust would return to my dear Asra alive. "Of course, if you agree to my terms, no harm will come to the three of you." That implies if I deny, harm would surely come to someone in the clearing here. All eyes are on me. Asra's are full of tears and I realize I am shaking myself and fight tears back myself. How dare The Devil make him cry! The Devil's ruby eyes gleam, but remain curious yet unreadable. My hands are tied behind my back. What could I say, no? What would that accomplish? Most likely, it would cause harm to Faust. The lavendar snake would be hurt, if not killed for a rash denial from me. However, making any deal with The Devil was dangerous. Anyone with even a smidge of goddamn common sense knew that. The way he worded his offer, it was like he was leaving out a /very/ important detail. Who knows - maybe our little walk had a staged accident. I could plummet to my death or walk into a trap that would kill me instantly. Really, the options were endless. I bit my lip. What would Asra want me to do? Would he pick his familiar over me or the other way around? Either option seemed unbearable, all I really wanted was to have a happy life with Asra, but most definitely not at the expense of his dear familiar. Refusing The Devil would be like sentencing Faust to death. Asra would probably be without the other half of his heart, Faust meant so much to him. He can't even cast spells without her. But what was Asra saying before he was cut off? The Devil couldn't lie but he could what? Trick me? Force me to play his little game? He already had Faust's life to play with. Therefore, we had to get her back, even if was the expense of my soul or even my life, whatever it may be. Secretly, I already knew the answer as soon as The Devil's words left his mouth. "Yes." The word was ragged, tired of this little game he had set up, desperate and exhausted. Asra buried his face in his hands. In response, I shut my eyes, willing myself not to cry here and now. "Reasonable and efficient. I like you, Silver." To be fairly honest, I rank your approval somewhere between shit and cobwebs in terms of preference. But that's just me. I say nothing in response. "So refreshing after the last mortal who dealt with me." "No, Silver, you don't know what the Devil has planned!" Asra looked even more anxious and I swiftly have to swipe away my tears that are gleaming like pearls in my eyes. It was the right choice, though. You know I would do anything to see you happy. I'd give up whatever that was needed for you or for Faust. I could never live with the guilt if Faust was dead. She didn't deserve to be dragged into this. It wasn't fair. Was it ever fair? Certainly not in The Devil's game. "True enough. But it wasnt your decision to make, Asra. Here is your dear Faust." I nearly collapse in relief as he released Faust, who dashes swifter than ever into her master's arms. Came to help. It is easy to detect a note of regret in her voice - she is very sorry, and thinks it was her fault. I shake my head the same time Asra shame his. "I would never abandon you, Faust," he croaks. His eyes flicker to mine and I can't bear to look at him longer. "Nor you, Silver." I'd rather you did though, if it meant the difference between life and death for Faust. Maybe he'd even gain the other half of his heart if I died again. "Most heartwarming. However, Silver and I need to settle the other half of our bargain." His seductive purr is almost amused, but remains detached. I swallow before moving towards The Devil. Like an after thought, I swerve to Asra at an alarming rate, and fall into his arms. He catches me, but I'm still able to catch him off guard with a brief hug and kiss that told him how sorry and scared I am. I pull away, much too quickly, but I know if I held onto him any longer, I could never let go. "Now then, Silver. Your time and company, if you please." The Devil offers me his claw and I take it, squeezing my eyes shut. No pain comes to me, but I know immediately I made the wrong choice. Now it's time to pay the consequences.

#the arcana game #the arcana #asra #magician asra #faust #count lucio #the devil #angst #dreamy writing #the arcana spoilers #asra route spoilers #>:3

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tumblunni · 6 years

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Aaa im so full of poke hype and lovv! <3

I feel like maybe doodling my kid self, for some reason?? Like embrace the nostalg and also show some love to that awkward lil kid who didnt really know who they were yet. Its interesting how much i've changed over the years!

Hell i might even draw personas of myself dressed as all the protags from all the different generations? But they'd be mostly the same for like the first 20 years, just me getting real tall and fat lol. I had almost floor length hair for SO LONG it felt really freeing to chop it all off and i never went back! I think i kept it cos it was loke.. Camoflage? The only 'girly' thing i had so i could pretend to myself that i was straight and cis. Plus a literal shield cos i could be 90% hair and just one eye poking out XD So yeah it'd be funny looking at me over time, its just this girly-looking kid getting increasingly more macho outfits and increasingly more girly hair and increasingly more socially anxious, until within the space of 18-25 i suddenly have this giant self discovery freedom explosion and change completely! Its funny how if anything i look less masculine now? Like im way more comfortable with the fact that i'm someone in between genders, and its not a binary of having to be something i'm not just to escape some other thing i'm not. Its also kinda funny how these gender roles felt so restrictive when i was crammed into one of them, yet dressing with both at once seems just as freeing as having neither. Tho still no matter how i dress i always get misgendered one way or another since non-binary acceptance is still far from the norm. But still im so much more me than i've ever been before, and its great to look back so i can realize how far i've come!

So lol maybe i'll just draw old kid me playing "her" first pokemon game, and leave out the next decade and a half of the same thing but taller. And i could just draw current me in a few different attempts at a pokemon outfit? Like when i did my sprite edits i just did me in my usual outfit i wear IRL, now im thinking maybe i shoulda designed a wish fullfillment ideal gym leader costume or something? Tho im too lazy to start the sprite edit project all over again with this new design lol. Oh and maybe also draw my pokemon go outfit? I dont wear it all the time but i had a fun lil look i wore the other day that i ended up laughing at cos i accidentalky wore all blue even tho i picked Team Valor! Now i wanna wear it all the time lol. Oo and maybe cosplay as my fave characters? If i cant afford to do it IRL i can at least draw it!

So yeh in summary somehow i feel really confident in my identity today and i wanna draw pics of me. Mild ego time!!! Or rather just wishing i could fly back in time and motivate my kid self by showing them that they woukd actually have the freedom to be themself some day. I dont even really think of it as "I used to be a girl" but just that i was always feeling this way and didnt know the words for it, or that other people felt the same way and it wasnt an 'abomination against god'. And for some reason playing a gane with selectable genders really helped me let out some of my feelings during that confused childhood of absolute repression. "I just pick a random gender each time cos it doesnt really matter right? Doesnt everyone just pick the one with the outfit they'd rather wear?" I absolutely knew that was a lame excuse and none of these other kids actually felt that way, but at least it kept people from suspecting i had queer reasons for my queer actions. In a time where i didnt even know what queer meant except that it was Somehow Bad. Gah, this is why sex education needs to be inclusive! Even when i was old enough to learn about straight sex i apparantly wasnt old enough to learn about gay and trans people! Let alone asexuality lol... Man it was a whole nother mess to be dealing with an anomolous lack of sexual attraction at the same time as i was repressing something everyone told me was 'inherantly too dirty for teenagers to know about'. For so long i was just told that crossdressing was 'a sick fetish men have for wearing women's underwear' not just.. A woman is a woman and is telling you she's a woman and you wont listen to her. And for some reason they always obsessed with MTF trans folk in these sensationalist hate sermons, i guess because 'a man who gets off on dressing like a woman' just sounds like the more disgusting version when youre a sexist homophobic transphobic piece of shit throwing your bigotry at children. And at the same time also aphobic and telling me i need surgery on my genitals if i dont want sex. Mannnn kids those days.. i really hope kids these days have it better! I hope everyone who dealt with that shit managed to find love and support eventually, even if its still a damn crime they had it denied to them during their most important childhood years. The whole concept of 'an innocent carefree childhood' is so unknown to me, its ironic people claim they want to keep "lgbt politics" away from children in order to preserve that innocent childhood...

Aaaaanyway im rambling lol! In summary pokemon was one of my only coping methods during that childhood and the only small way i could pretend someone accepted me. Even if it was just by whispering no when the professor said 'are you a boy or a girl' and being happy at the little genderless mons like magnemite or the legendaries. I dont think i would have ever realized it was actually POSSIBLE and had words for the complex dysphoria i was feeling, if i hadnt played this dumb lil series of games.

Anyway thats probably also why i never had any attatchment to gen 1 despite being born right as the first wave of pokemania was coming out. The memories i have of those times are complex. Im just excited to revisit kanto as a new and happy person and maybe make new memories! I already barely remembered actual Yellow compared to FRLG, it was kind of a trip to play it on virtual console and remember all the tiny bits of sexist writing that games used to have during that era. It was like 'whoa i never noticed this was wrong as a kid, this finally explains why it made me uncomfortable!' Also the gameplay was glitchy and the plot nonexistant and the translation rudimentary and limited. And the mons weren't very good and i prefer pretty much every other generation and especially Garbodor and Vanillite, dammit!

Ok im going offtopic again

So yeah like i said im happy that Let's Go has managed to make me hype even thougj i didnt enjoy kanto the first time around! And its good how much it represents my journey out of that shitty childhood so now i can revisit it and pretend this is my first time and None Of That Happened, Thanks

So anyway bunni draws past self. And gets emotional. And rambles for hours in a dumb post.

Ok bye

#why so many words

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