#half the time it just ends up being “as a [non lesbian] heres what lesbians think!”

[nobodywhoishere]

pro tip dont ever look in the tags of a lesbain post you will see the most rancid discourse of your life

[vaspider]

Intro Post, updated March 1, 2023

I post all asks under the name they were submitted under, and I post them when I feel like answering them. I will never honor a request to answer an ask privately or anonymously. Anon is never turned on. These are hard self-care boundaries. Please block the tag "harassment tag" if you don't want to be subjected to some of the horrible shit I get sent sometimes.

If you like what I do, please consider hiring me, consider buying something from NerdyKeppie (the shop I own with my spouse - we do custom work!), consider buying me a coffee or becoming a Patron or tossing some money in my PayPal tip jar. I am a disabled, queer, fat, Jewish non-binary butch whose entire income is derived from selling Quality Queerwear via our company NerdyKeppie (we also offer patches of all sorts, nerd gear, etc -- if you don’t see it, ask!), Patreon (queer fiction for a dollar) and freelance work.

If asking me to boost a post for you, ask at most once per week, and please don't make that the only way you interact with me, or follow me just to send an ask that I boost your posts. I notice, and I'll end up just blocking you if you make me feel "used." It's gross, y'all. I'm glad to help, but don't use me. It's getting to a point where I'm starting to feel pretty gross about it, and I'm one of the more relaxed ppl about boosting posts, so please don't put me in a position where I feel like I have to stop doing it.

I will not debate my identity or its history with anyone. I am a transmasculine non-binary butch lesbian, a cripple, a dyke, and lots of other things, too. You don't get a vote in that, and if any of those words are words you can't stand to have someone use around you in reference to himself, go ahead and block me. I won't censor my identity for your comfort; I took a long time becoming proud of who I am.

No, I am not an anti or an anti-anti. Literally no one cares about these distinctions outside of Tumblr. Please leave me alone. I am not going to have that conversation. No is a complete sentence.

I’m not interested in interacting with TWERFs, SWERFs, or any sort of exclusionary LGBTQ/queer people. Y'all are exhausting.

Do the work to root out TERF/2nd-wave "man bad woman good" philosophies from your head. Do the work to root out the gendered behavior you were taught. I am not here to raise other people's children.

I am not here to raise other people's children. My daughter is an adult and I am done being responsible for the experiences of a minor. If you read or interact with me, you acknowledge that you chose to do that and I can't control what happens to what I post once I post it on my Tumblr. People will reblog it and I can't control where it ends up. I can only control what I say in my space, which I do.

Curate your own online experiences. If you don't like seeing what I write, then add 'vaspider' to your "filtered content" list and don't bother me about it. Tumblr is a 17+ environment and I am not responsible for you seeing things you don't like. Adults having adult conversations do not need to be filtered for children. This is your notification.

I’ve been Out for over 30 years. I don't tolerate lectures from strangers, especially people half my age, about history I lived through.

I'm transmasc and if you believe transmisandry/transandrophobia aren't "real things," or that transmascs aren't "really oppressed," please just leave me alone. Oppression Olympics are bad, actually.

My immediate family consists of my partners, my adult daughter, and our dogs.

No one in my immediate family is cis or het. I have been called Spider for 20+ years, & now a lot of people call me Mama Spider. Mom is a role, it need not be gendered.

This is a lot shorter than it used to be. I don't really feel like posting paragraphs explaining stuff anymore.

My icon has lore, apparently.

I post all asks and anon is never turned on.

[funishment-time]

Alright. Now that I know the questions, and forgive me if these have been asked before, 16, 19 (for Miu), and of course, our good pal, 17

whee hee hee!!!

16. Do you have any ideas for a Danganronpa murder? Share!

the series is lacking a good murder-suicide or Lover's Suicide. (i mean as an individual case/trial. you could argue that all of DR1 is a murder-suicide or Lover's Suicide)

beyond that, a high-temperature complete burning-to-death that results in ashes and little Evidence, or withholding important Medication that keeps a character alive, would both be Interesting

17. List five headcanons for your favorite characters!

special edition!! wee woo wee woo! for this one i will list 5 SFW ship headcanons, but if you're not into these Ships (or Shipping in general), i have 5 regular headcanons here too. double the value!

skip these if you don't like Ship dynamics:

KAEDE x. MIU: Kaede insists on being the little spoon, which flusters Miu for all eternity

FUYUHIKO x PEKO: they never have kids, but they do have a hundred thousand fluffy Creaturas of various sorts. dogs and cats and rabbits and chinchillas and maybe even a herd of Alpacas roaming their great Yakuza estate. "no one's gonna fuckin' take us seriously," Fuyuhiko always says, but he's smiling because his wife is

SAKURA x HINA: after scientific evidence shows that naps have a positive effect on the human body and its growth (see DR1's School Mode), Sakura tries to get Hina to take short naps with her daily. like, 20 minutes tops. unfortunately, this rarely Works, because no one taught Hina how to sit still for longer than a half-second, but it does give them cuddle time on a busy day

FUKAWA SYSTEM x KOMARU: neither of the Fukawas ever stop lusting over Byakuya. it's just that Komaru is their wife, the love of their life, their girl, their beloved. their crush on Byakuya ends up being more, uh, purely NSFW in nature. in the end, though, the Fukawa system would rather be with Komaru, because she's Domesticity, she's Love, she's Healing, even if she won't turn them into her own personal livestock or whatever it was Toko wanted in UDG (i black out during those scenes). anyway, Komaru perfectly understands this, and really doesn't feel Threatened by it at all, because it's not like Byakuya is ever going to give the Fukawa system what they want

MAHIRU x HIYOKO: after her growth spurt, Hiyoko gets intense stretch-marks, which knocks her self esteem down a peg. thankfully, Mahiru loves her terrible banana-headed gee eff Just As Much

and now for the regular headcanons:

Nekomaru is generally asexual. he's never felt shame in it, as it allows him to Focus on his athletes better in an increasingly competitive world

in a non-despair AU, Kokichi ends up on the student council every year, inexplicably, as Treasurer. no one notices when he's lifting money from HPA because no one notices when Jin Kirigiri is doing it, either

Ibuki has been the first kiss of many-a girl at HPA

in her own way, Junko felt threatened when Mukuro was pretending to be her, both in DR1 and in Zero. this factored into Junko kebabing her, but also into Junko's obsession with putting her down in Extremely Childish Ways, as well as her insistence that Mukuro was Gross and Nasty and Could Never Be Her!!! at the end of DR1. by the Despair Twins' HPA days, Junko was too far gone to ever deal with it or admit it, but so much of her final despair centered around her identity and her sister. she may not have gone full Killing Game if not for Mukuro

Sakura has dislocated bones, sometimes during a match, and then immediately popped them right back into place without hesitation or pause. this only makes local Lesbians more in love

BONUS: the Warriors of Hope do heal in their own way as they grow, but they always have a hard time patching up the wound named "Big Sis Junko." on a fairly Objective level, she did nothing but good for them and took them out of a Bad Situation when no one else did. so: while the WoH become as content as they can be as adults, they also have an exceedingly difficult journey understanding Junko as a Very Bad Person Actually

19. What kind of fantasy creature would you make Miu?

Miu is most definitely a goblin. gross, loud-mouthed little thing tinkering and tonkering, but extremely Lovable

[deepspacedukat]

Indulgence

Apologies for my absence. The last few days have been v busy. This is set just after “Nemesis.” I was itching to write something about two gals, so here we are. Enjoy! Yes, I’m a day late, shhhhhhhhh, nobody noticed, shhhhhhhhh, you saw nothing!!

Day 21: Pillow Humping

SoC prompt list here. SoC Masterlist here. Cross-posted to AO3 here.

~*~

Donatra (ST:Nemesis) x Reader

[A/N: This is smut, so 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI!!!]

Warnings: Implied interspecies sex, implied Human/Romulan sex, implied lesbian sex, pillow humping, slightly intoxicated flirting, slightly intoxicated kissing, sexual fantasies, masturbation.

~*~

Should she follow up on the offer tonight? Would that make her seem too eager?

Oh, by the Elements, this was ridiculous! Donatra was the Commanding Officer of the Valdore! She shouldn’t be worried about how she was perceived by a Human woman. What did it matter if one little Human judged her for contacting her too soon after their first meeting?

Not that the Lieutenant would judge her, of course. She seemed incredibly kind, not to mention more than a little interested in Donatra.

The Commander had finally gotten the opportunity to meet up with Captain Picard for that drink he owed her. She’d come aboard the Federation’s flagship, received a tour, and ended up at a table in what was apparently called ‘Ten Forward’ by the crew. The bartender, a kind woman named Guinan, brought them some real, non-replicated Romulan Ale, and Donatra was forced to admit that this was a hospitable group of people.

The Captain had been such a charming host that she almost hated to tell him she wasn’t interested in men. Oh, she’d seduced one or two when it was necessary, but for pleasure’s sake, she wasn’t truly attracted to them.

A few glasses into their conversation, though, she noticed a pretty Human officer stealing glances in the direction of their table. At first, Donatra had thought the woman was interested in Picard. He did seem to be a decent catch if a person was thus inclined. His wit was certainly sharp. When he’d gone to the bar to order them both something to eat, Donatra realized that it was she who’d captured the Human’s curiosity, not the Captain.

She didn’t know whether to be offended or flattered. She was, after all, a lone Romulan amongst a den of aliens - Federation aliens, no less.

Without hesitation, Donatra allowed the memory of the Lieutenant’s shy gaze to replay and roll around in her mind’s eye like marble in honey. The thought slowed her anxious overanalysis and allowed her to more closely observe the coil of warmth in her abdomen when she recalled the small smile that the Human had given her just before the Captain had returned.

Well, when she thought about it like that, she couldn’t deny that the sparks had been there from the start. Stripping out of her uniform quickly and efficiently, the Valdore’s Commander ordered the computer into No Interruptions mode and climbed into bed to indulge.

She hadn’t done this in quite a long time. Duty to the Empire - to her people - had been all-consuming for so long that she’d barely taken any time for herself. A single half of an hour stolen for herself wouldn’t go amiss...right? Slipping her hand between her legs, she closed her eyes and allowed herself to imagine delicate, curious Human fingers in place of her own.

The Captain had caught on rather quickly, especially when Donatra’s eyes followed the woman’s path quite brazenly as she walked to the bar to get another drink.

“She’s one of our science officers,” he’d stated, making the Commander blink. She hadn’t thought she was being that obvious, but then again, going without a romantic liaison for long stretches did tend to make her a bit...ravenous. “I can introduce you, if you like?”

The curve of the woman’s hips as she perched carefully on a stool at the bar was what ultimately persuaded Donatra to take him up on his offer. The exchange of names was swift, and when she shook the Commander’s hand, the latter couldn’t help the barb that slipped from her mouth - a cover for how flustered she really was.

“Never seen a Romulan before, girl?” Donatra was so used to fighting for every inch of respect that this sort of defense was automatic. Oddly, though, the Lieutenant seemed more amused than intimidated.

“I have, actually, but I must admit that I’m curious.” Oh no, why was her voice as pretty as her face? This simply wasn’t fair. Surely not everything about her was beautiful.

The course of Donatra’s thoughts shifted from memory to imagination, pondering what it would be like to pin the Lieutenant beneath her and grind against her thigh until she begged to be touched. Grabbing an extra pillow, she folded it in half and moved to straddle it.

The Commander was almost embarrassingly wet by that point, but in her defense, commanding a warbird that carried the name of one of the Empire’s most notable historical Admirals was a job that left little time for recreation. Losing herself in the fantasy of the pretty little Human officer clutching at her hips, Donatra used the pillow as she imagined using the Lieutenant’s thigh.

Picard had delicately excused himself when he noted the chemistry between the women - he didn’t want to become a hindrance to the development of, uh... peaceful relations between their people.

The evening had been easy and light, banter flowing effortlessly between them until they were both on the edge of tipsy. A wink, a murmured insinuation, and they had finally managed to reach the Lieutenant’s quarters. What sort of a person would the Commander be if she hadn’t helped her companion back home?

The Human had wrapped her arms around Donatra’s neck and pressed their lips tentatively together. The Romulan froze for a split second before crowding her against the wall beside the door to her quarters. Her enthusiasm picked up any slack left by her lack of experience with Human expressions of attraction, and Donatra left her beautiful lady gasping her name by the time they parted for breath.

As the Commander lay panting equally desperate for air, she cursed herself for having been so chivalrous the night before. She’d wanted to do so much more, but while they were both under the influence, it wouldn’t have been wise. Still, she’d been able to see the disappointment painted across the other woman’s face as they’d said goodnight.

“Oh, damn it all!” Donatra growled as she wrapped a silken robe around herself and went to her comm panel. Without a second thought, she opened a channel direct to the Lieutenant’s quarters. After all, the Valdore and the Enterprise were still working together to repair their two ships. Maybe there was still time to–

“Commander?” A wide, warm smile greeted her as soon as the channel opened, and Donatra knew she’d made the right choice calling tonight. “Can I help you?”

“More than you realize, e’lev.”

~*~*~

Taglist:

@akamitrani​ @android-boyfriends​ @attention-bajoranworkers​ @bigblissandlove1​ @darkmattervibes​ @emilie786​ @horta-in-charge​ @live-logs-and-proper​ @slutty-slutty-vulcans​ @starrynightgardens​ @toebeans-mcgee​

[thewaywardcasgirl]

ok after the initial shock of 'tf did i just read?!🙃' I'm ready to offer my two cents on Big Dragon the novel

SPOILERS AHEAD (I'm on phone and don't know how to add a cut)

[it's a short novel and the extras (if any) are not available in english so it feels pretty rushed in the middle, the translation is bad so please bare with me]

it's a wattpad novel alright, the sex is constant and overwhelming, like it's a live character, it makes as many appearances as the two leads, literally every encounter they have post the video taping scene ends up in Dragon (Mungkorn) (hate?)fucking Big(Yai) senseless for hours on end (ok i know og novels of bls are badddd to begin with so credit to production team for wringing something anything palatable out of this hot mess)

these two have a violent history going back to freshman year, this part is pretty much glossed over in the series so far, (but they talk about it at the end of the novel so let's see) they have beaten the crap out of each other on several occasions before the fateful night

later they have some revelations through jealousy and half assef communication, and start (?) dating, but it's too anticlimactic as they're practically living together even before they realise they actually love eachother and Big announces this to his father* and officially moves in with Dragon, Dragon is dragging Big to mostly his own occasionally Bigs apt to fuck him raw every time Big does something out of anger or jealousy, they don't talk and resolve their issues they just fuck and move on to the next issue, rinse and repeat for a looong time

*yes the Big's father is a good father, a lovable goof and loves his son to no end, at least that parts pretty good i like this version of fathers

the bodyguards are pretty much bg characters and their relationship with their masters isn't as fleshed out as in the series but it's hinted so ok

the sister is mentioned once and there's no sign of a previous or new mother in Big's life,

they both have a string of ex female lovers and neither go exclusive for each other from the get go, they still try to date other women but Dragon doesn't get jealous until a man is involved with Big, Big on the other hand is jealous of anyone within a 2meter radius of Dragon

phi Da ain't his dominatrix, i was disappointed but again hat's off to the production team!

now the big engagement or should I say the non engagement, we get so lil of the lesbian couple! urgh! the girls simply run away to England with Dragon's help and Big finds out as they're about to leave, so it's a pretty short lived heartbreak that leads to their mutual confessions, it's a pretty much non existent plot

dragon's parents are never mentioned again

And now for the faen fatale the episode 11 material the big shabang the short lived breakup is caused by *drumrolls please* an mpreg scare!

yes you read that right and ohhh boyyy if they keep this in the show!! we're IN for a ride mates, like it's not funny, they never once laugh about it, it's real, real pain real emotions flying everywhichway, real heartbreak over mutual misunderstanding and lot of confusion,

like i said, A+ episode 11 material!! totally cursed 👌

Big in his streak of jealousy and being cut off from Dragon's lil dragon for too long drinks a "scientific potion" he got at a rave that it's inventor claimed can make men pregnant (worth mentioning - everytime Dragon ignores him for work for days on end, he does some stupid shit, he's a total bitchass princess about it, and ends up getting fucked raw, everytime)

now several months later, after the post engagement reconciliation, Big starts throwing up left and right and can't stand stinky food like fish, he thinks he's pregnant (enter the entire video of I'm pregnant you're not pregnant here coz that's what happened) again through miscommunication Big thinks despite Dragon wanting kids he just doesn't want one with him and wants him to abort it,

so Daddy's lil princess runs back home full dumped preggers mode and his father's just like 🤷 ok I'll take care of my grandchild that bf of yours can go fuck himself! while Dragon is actually concerned for his bf's life coz how the hell he gon deliver the babee?? (their himbo brains just *chef's kiss*) there's some mention of uterus but the translation is so bad i can't make head or tale of that part,

they finally talk and understand each other(?), a night of ceaseless pounding ensues, next day Dragon makes a doctor's appointment and the doc tells them flat no preggers here, they come back home and bawl their eyes out in eachother's arms, well Big more than Dragon, Dragon's just happy his bfs (ass) gon be safe, Big is disappointed he won't get to use the baby names he picked out (yes he did that)

and just like that they move back togather and continue to fuck till the end of times

(there's some talk about future kids and more dumbassery from Big about him not being able to get pregnant but that's to be expected after Dragon having fucked his brains out for over a year now)

for the finale Big takes Dragon back to the renovated club so they can "make some new good memories in the old place" where it all started,

and it ends as it started, with a big bang fest at the same suit (now renovated) two perfectly fucked up bookends to a perfectly fucked up story (affectionate)

*bows in you're welcome*

[zoomzooomfast]

Style things in my SP AU

 so because I am normal about Stan Marsh and Kyle Broflovski I have a Bunch of headcanons around them mostly in high school and older that I haven't stopped thinking about for 3 weeks 

- Stan and Kyle are Both Bisexual and there TfT and Kyle is a trans man and Stan is Non-binary and uses They/He pronouns 

-In High school Stan Played Football and Lacrosse and Kyle played basketball and Figure Skated 

-Stan had a varsity jacket he just refused to own or wear it himself but he always had his partners waring them with Kyle ending up being the permeant owner once they graduated 

-Kyle dated Wendy for a bit in high school where Stan ended up having an executional crisis where he wondered if they were gay and he dated craig for a few months and then he dated Kenny for a bit after that. Then Stan had a mental breakdown to Wendy and Wendy told him if Kyle is cool with it we can be poly

-Kyle was cool with it and the 3 of them where together till Wendy broke up with both of them because they seemed better being just the two of them. 

-All of the core 4 ended up going to Denver for collage and the 4 shared a 3 bed apartment where even though Cartman and Kenny knew Stan and Kyle were dating they both came up with stupid reasons why they shared a room

-After they graduated collage Gerald offered to get Kyle a house of which he took up fast and Then Kyle and Stan lived together there for a while

-But Stans things that made Them fun in collage became a problem and Kyle was sick of him. Kyle kicked Stan out and told him if he can get himself together then he can come back into Kyles life

-Stan left South Park after that for 6 or 7 years just living in different places around Colorado 

-Kyle during this span of time got Married to a childhood friend Rebecca who no one in his family liked she was to quite for anyone in Kyles family or life to like her. They had there Son  Ezekiel “Zeke” Rebecca hated the nickname. The marriage lasted about a year and half after Zeke was born.

-The marriage ended when Kyle came home from work one day to find a letter from Rebecca saying that she was a lesbian and has been having an affair with a woman and left him to live her best cottagecore lesbian life.

-Kyle had a full mental breakdown with him ending up resining from his job and staying home most of the day high and drunk watching a box set of red racer that Craig gave to Kyle for Zeke 

-Luck for Kyle this around the time Stan felt like he got his life together he was a little shocked when they showed up to Kyles house to see his best friend who he knew as the level headed psychologist both high and drunk in a weird way it remined Stan of there dad.

-Stan instantly developed a connection with 2 year old Zeke. And because of that Stan knew he need to help Kyle get his life together starting with getting Kyle somewhere to go so he wouldn't just drink and smoke

-From Stan just trying to keep Kyle Sober and busy by just running around Kyle learned that he was going to have a second child and that caused a less fun round of  a mental breakdown 

-Kyle ended up working as a secretary for his dad till his daughter Tabitha was born and then Kyle felt the need to get back to having real job. So Kyle applies to be the elementary schools counselor which he got

-Stan very happily took up Kyles offer of watch my kids and you can live here rent free

-Shelia comes over a lot to help Stan with cooking and to just be able to talk to her sons partner because Stan would actually speak. The first time Shelia came over she asked Stan about an engagement ring and what season him and Kyle want to get married in. Stan was there was what where just friends we haven't dated in years. Shelia had to sit down and go back over everything that Stan and Kyle have done in just the past 11-ish months. and if Stan was sure they weren't engaged or hell even married yet given that Stan is in reality just a housewife

-Stans “Proposal” as just Stan sitting in a chair in Kyles living room asking if he could be Kyles “House Husband” and giving him a ring that Shelia gave to stan saying that Kyle would like it. and He did, Kyle also played it as very chill

-After Stan Fell asleep Kyle went to the kitchen and Sobbed over the Phone to Ike

I don't have the between of them Getting married and Zeke being 12/13 years so thats all I got 

[winderlylandchime]

I’ve seen you every once in a while mention your partner and I was wondering if you could (would want to?) tell us a bit about them/you guys? Obviously by still being as much private as you’d like to be. Swear this is not meant in a creepy way but more in a ‘awww’ type of way because they sound like a very lovely person through the little moments you’ve shared. But also if you don’t want to, that is completely understandable :)

Oh dear sweet anon! Thank you for this question. I am happy to share a bit about me and my spouse and our relationship. I’m very proud of them and who we are as a couple. It hasn’t always been easy and we have been in couple’s therapy at difficult points in our relationship. But for now I’m just going to gush. Sappy shit under the cut.

My spouse and I met in graduate school. They’re older than me but a year (kinda) behind me in school. We bonded over a shared love of music and values around social justice. Plus they are a hottie and the funniest person I know. As a result, we are both in the same field - I work primarily in the applied part of the field and they teach. Since the pandemic, they teach from home so I get to hear them lecture whenever I’m not in an appointment during their class. Um, hi, they are so talented and also the best professor.

We have been together for 16 years (17 next January). We were engaged after a year and a half together but (if you’re doing math) that was in 2008 and we had plans to move to CA but then Prop 8 passed so we had to wait until it was overturned (as well as DOMA - I don’t know if many people know this but things like health benefits got taxed at the federal level as part of income so when we were still struggling financially and domestic partners, we couldn’t shared insurance because it would have bumped us into another tax bracket). So we have been married 9 years (we didn’t immediately rush to get married as our eldest nieces had just been born and we wanted our siblings to be able to come to the wedding). Anyway! That’s the time line.

We love many of the same things. We watch most of the same TV shows and movies and we do so together. There is A LOT of pausing so we can Seriously Discuss what is happening on the screen. Together, we love Brooklyn Nine Nine, Schitt’s Creek, Drag Race (and going to live drag shows!), Good Omens, Our Flag Means Death, Heartstopper. And pretty much all the fandoms you see me scream about on here.

Queer As Folk. When I met my spouse, I hadn’t fully identified my sexual orientation. I came out as lesbian and then queer as part of being with them. When I met them, they had a chubby one-eyed cat named Kinney. Their walls were decorated with cut outs of Gale Harold from magazines. They had watched most of QAF as it aired (you know the scene in the bar where they’re watching Gay as Blazes? that was their experience watching QAF). So immediately, they sat me down and had me watch the show. They gave me a kitten for our first Christmas together and I named him Emmett. I did a rewatch in 2018 (?) and remembered that fanfiction exists and the rest is history. Unlike many couples, my spouse fully knows I read and write fanfiction. They have read some of my fanfiction and enjoy it. They think I’m talented and that I should write book (?). They buy me candy to eat when I’m writing, they let me close up for hours on end to write.

During the pandemic, we spent every day together in our apartment and we did so for longer than most folks. I have mentioned that they have a chronic pain condition and it appears to be autoimmune in nature and I have a heart condition so we’ve been especially careful (we haven’t totally avoided getting COVID which goes to show how transmittable it is). During lockdown, they also pursued top surgery and came to the non-binary identity (we’re in our 40s, identities are understood now that we didn’t have words or options). I think we became even closer during this time. I can honestly say, my spouse is my very best friend and also the cutest non-binary-bunny.

All the sappy stuff I can’t stand in fic? Tons of I love you’s, tons of (non-canon) nicknames? Ugh I make myself a little sick with how much we do all that. (Btw that is an individual fic preference)

It’s not to say we don’t have problems and we don’t argue. Of course we do. But overall they’re the best and I’m super lucky and we have worked hard to get here. Everyone who wants a partner in life should be so damn lucky.

[lesbianamalvada]

What resources is an actress stealing from the community?

Also I found this quote looking it up.

She then asked if being a lesbian means “you are ONLY” attracted to cis women and if being attracted to trans men, trans women, and nonbinary people makes you pansexual.

And it seems to stem from confusion, not any kind of maliciousness. I can see how someone who spent time in the feminism or lesbian tags would walk away confused with this same opinion because of how TERFs are trying to redefine women and lesbians.

Additionally, she uses both labels, not saying pan lesbian as one label like you made it seem.

They seem to be someone who, with a quick Google, is just confused, learning, and exploring. And you're being really hostile about it for no reason.

That said, if she thinks she's a lesbian is it stealing? If she ends up being lesbian after a few more years, is it stealing just because she didn't know that now?

I think people like you are why it takes so long for people to find identities. You make it unsafe to explore when that's half the reason the queer community exists. Because more than just straight, cishet ppl exist and we should be normalizing that.

So again, do you have a link for these stolen resources, cuz I can't find anything online.

i never said they stole resources. you are making a strawman. there isn't that many resources just for lesbians to begin with. they do steal our communities, spaces, and conversations. they scold us for not being "inclusive" enough. I'm all for people experimenting and if you identify as bi and then are gay or vice versa it is whatever. but when you try to change the definition of lesbianism, and say that men can be lesbians and we can be attracted to men, and then furthermore shame us for not being attracted to them or for our identities not being inclusive enough, i cannot support you. it is the same homophobia we experience from cishet ppl with a rainbow polish. you have made our own community a hostile environment for us. and we cannot vent about how alienating and degrading it is without people like you scolding us, saying our boundaries make others "unsafe" or how we are using bigoted dog whistles and we are the reason conservatives are winning etc etc.

we can all acknowledge that being bisexual, asexual, trans, a drag queen, etc comes with unique experiences and that they shouldn't be erased or overlooked. yet when it comes to lesbians we are not allowed to say the same? if someone is only attracted to one gender they are not bisexual so they shouldn't talk over bisexuals, police them, invade their spaces, or try to change the definition of bisexual. I just believe the same is true for lesbians.

Also someone using a contradictory label like "pansexual lesbian" and being questioned on it is not them being unsafe. they are not in any harm. what is unsafe is teaching young kids who are homosexual that they could emotionally like the other gender just not physically, hearts not parts, everyone is a little bi, the genitals don't matter that much and caring about them is weird, your sexuality should be inclusive etc. All of which I have seen happen in online queer spaces that champion the notion of mspec gays and lesbians.

It also doesn't surprise me that the only sexuality that excludes men is the one a large section of the queer community will use their dying breath to center men in. "lesbians can be men, lesbians can have sex with men, lesbians and men are best friends" it is always non-lesbians saying this. And then we push back and get comments like this. Lesbians with boundaries are the reason so many people have hard time finding their identities. Gtfo of here. Other people's feelings and journeys or whatever are not more important than our lived reality. We are the only group that is surveilled like this.

[hongtiddiez]

what are your top 5 movie recommendations?

EYY ok im a terrible person to ask because i absolutely do not watch movies unless forced to at gunpoint and most of them are not queer SO here's just like... my 5 fav movies i guess lmao

THE JACKET (2005) dir. John Maybury 🌸

(hey my first non-bl related gif!)

The narrative is a time slip fantasy in which a Gulf War veteran who suffered a death or near-death experience while on active service returns to the United States where he is blamed for the death of a policeman, and incarcerated in a hospital for the criminally insane. Subject to experimental treatments there, which involve him being shut inside a morgue casket while tied in a straitjacket, he eventually learns to travel through time and is able to offer help to various people.

i watched this in high school one lazy afternoon with my mom and became obsessed. i don't think it did well? or was really on anyone's radar? but Keira Knightley is fucking gorgeous in it as is Adrien Brody - both of which i had massive crushes on back then. it's definitely HEAVY and darker, obviously, and has a bit of an open ending but i eat that shit up.

"The important thing in life is to believe that while you're alive it's never too late."

PROMARE (2019) dir. Hiroyuki Imaishi 🌸

Thirty years has passed since the appearance of the Burnish, a race of flame-wielding mutant beings, who destroyed half of the world with fire. When a new group of aggressive mutants calling themselves Mad Burnish appears, the epic battle between Galo Thymos, a new member of the anti-Burnish rescue team Burning Rescue, and Lio Fotia, the leader of Mad Burnish begins.

i've watched promare an embarrassing amount of times, but hey, it's actually a little queer so there's that! the synopsis is just a drop in the hat of what the movie actually is. we love anarchist rebels and advocates for equal rights (and enemies to lovers between a smol angry rebel and a big lovable himbo.) small note - we lost Galo's english VA, Billy Kametz, last year to his battle with cancer. he played a huge role in a lot of my favorite shows and games and it really broke my heart.

DRAGONHEART (1996) dir. Rob Cohen 🌸

Sir Bowen, an English knight of "the Old Code", mentors Saxon prince Einon in his ideals to make him a better king than his father Freyne. While suppressing a peasant rebellion, rebels ambush and kill Freyne. Then a young peasant girl named Kara accidentally wounds Einon's heart. Einon's Celtic mother Aislinn has Einon taken before a dragon and asks him to save the boy's life. The dragon makes Einon promise to be a just ruler with honor and replaces Einon's wounded heart with half his own. However, Einon proves more oppressive by enslaving the former rebels that killed his father and forcing them to rebuild a Roman castle. Einon also has Kara's father, who led the insurgents, blinded. Believing the dragon's heart has corrupted Einon, Bowen swears vengeance on him and all dragons by hunting them down.

listen, i'm old okay? i watched this obsessively when i was a kid. i didn't own the VHS, i'm not really sure why? but anytime it was on tv i was glued to it. i think i eventually did record it onto a vhs.

MILK (2008) dir. Gus Van Sant 🌸

In 1972, Harvey Milk and his then-lover Scott Smith leave New York for San Francisco, with Milk determined to accomplish something meaningful in his life. Settling in the Castro District, he opens a camera shop and helps transform the area into a mecca for gays and lesbians. In 1977 he becomes the nation's first openly gay man elected to a notable public office when he wins a seat on the Board of Supervisors. The following year, Dan White kills Milk in cold blood.

i watched this just as i was coming to terms with my own queerness. i wanted to learn more about queer history and this movie came out at the exact perfect time for that. i was a freshman in high school, i'd never heard of Harvey Milk before, but my mom had and she encouraged me to watch it. it got me doing a lot more research into queer history and learning where we came from so while the movie may not be perfect, may not be wholly accurate, i thank it for that.

TITAN A.E. (2000) dir. Don Bluth & Gary Goldman 🌸

"Titan A.E." takes place in the distant future, after Earth has been obliterated by a mysterious alien race known as the Drej. Cale is a human teenager who has been given a mysterious map by his father, leading him on an unforgettable journey.

i am nothing if not an absolute slut for Don Bluth movies. that man illustrated my childhood. as i got older my mom told me about Titan A.E. and said it was a must watch for my nerdy ass. she was correct. it's not the perfect movie but it's a great look at what Don Bluth and Gary Goldman could've done if we'd considered "animation for adults" back then. we're finally getting somewhere with it now, and i like to think we have them to thank in part for that.

also fun story my husband met one of the animators for this film at a party where a lot of people were doing a lot of drugs and he gave him his card AND MY HUSBAND LOST IT

alright anon and friends i hope i haven't ruined your opinion of me with my taste in movies ~ thank you to all the gifmakers that have made gifs of these films, i'm so glad i didn't have to make one for all of them lmao.

[cator99]

When I was 14 I dated a scene girl who was 2 or 3 grades above me and she went by Domo. Like the weird little japanese mascot. She wore a Domo hat and backpack every day and had just transferred to my catholic school from the public school down the road because she heard that there were lots of lesbians here and she was absolutely right but by that she just meant me and my friends   I was from what I could tell the first out lesbian there and I wasn't quiet about it and so it kind of snowballed and afterwards this sort of thing was a frequent occurrence- we would get girls transferring from the public school constantly like in the middle of the school year and they'd waltz in like hi I heard about you and told my parents to switch me over here and like oh my god girl lmao but this was super convenient because junior high/high school relationships (it was a grade 7 to 12 school because. rural canada) rarely last long and so me and my friends always had a revolving door of girlfriends which naturally made for non-stop dyke drama which I think is what put us on the map you know like we would just be going about our dyke antics right in front of the school and I mean hell I ended up dating a girl once because she had been sent to fight me by some meek ex-friend of mine who didn't like that I came out like actually wait initially she asked the largest guy in our school to beat me up not knowing that one time in grade 5 I had bit a fucking chunk out of his arm when he pinned me against a fence and he'd been freaked out by me since so this guy just asked the biggest girl in our school to do it instead - she was in my grade but older because she was held back a year anyways we had so much fun during what would quickly become the most disturbingly homoerotic fight anyone in our school had ever witnessed and as a result we became inseparable and had even planned to run away to the city together at some point but that failed miserably because her foster parents found her bags all packed up - unfortunately she was one of the girls I cheated on when I was at bible camp um anyways like yeah we were loud compared to the public school lesbians who ... ok  they were also absolutely insane as I would find out later when I transferred there after being kicked out of catholic school but they had their own particular brand of fucked up that was more low-key but I was only at the public school for half a semester so I didn't really get all that acquainted with them beyond dynamics observed while we were in the smoke pit at the bridge in the forest behind the school where girls were smoking meth every day - that always seemed a more pressing matter than inquiring about interpersonal relationships

[keptin-indy]

When the Angels Left the Old Country review

Full disclosure: I won this book in a giveaway, so I feel like I'm morally obligated to write a public review instead of just talking to people in real life about it.  You are free to view me as an unpaid shill, or a shill who has been paid with one (1) book.

A little background on my perspective: I am Jewish, but not very good at it and I have extremely strong feelings on Good Omens going back more than 20 years.  I have cosplayed Aziraphale more than once like 10 years ago.  I looked up a whole lot of Yiddish words before I realized there's a glossary in the back, so learn from my mistakes.

Overall, I enjoyed this book and was sad when it started wrapping up! If the idea of a Good Omens / Fievel: An American Tail crossover sounds like a good time to you, you will probably enjoy this book.

It's a very quick and engaging read, but I happened to start reading it right before the latest round of internet discourse on antisemitism, which made for a fairly distressing combination and a solid day of Jewish navel-gazing in the middle.

It starts a little slow, both plot-wise and genre-wise, but picks up in the second half.  By genre-wise, I mean that there were long sections of the book where I could practically forget that two-thirds of the main cast were supernatural creatures.  Yes, they talked about it, but after a short burst in the beginning, they basically don't do anything with it until the second half of the book.  Even with more going on in the latter half, this is a very low magic book, so don't expect a Good Omens level of miracles and major supernatural characters outside of the main pair.  Yes, they do exist, but this is a much smaller scale story.  This isn't a bad thing, it's just different and I want to set the correct expectations.

Also speaking of expectations, this is much more a Jewish story than it is a queer one.  Yes, there are baby lesbians and what is technically a non-binary character (though I feel that a being that doesn't have a sex to begin with is a very different, less queer thing than someone who is born into the presumption of having a sex and gender).  Now I am wholeheartedly in favor of stories where the focus is not being queer, the characters just happen to be queer people and the plot does not revolve around their identities, so this was fine.  But if you're expecting a romance focus, this doesn't really have one beyond the bog standard "at the end of the narrative, the people who seem compatible get together".  Yes, the angel and demon are devoted to each other and the story treats that as very important, but I've seen a thousand stories where the same level of devotion could be played completely platonically as well.

To quibble, there are some inconsistences, where the author forgot something they'd said earlier or else made changes during writing and didn't go back and bring some other things in line, as well as some things that aren't adequately explained in my opinion, but they didn't detract much beyond occasionally breaking me out of immersion to scratch my head and go right back to reading.  It could perhaps have used another editing pass, but it's far from a major problem.

Very mild spoilers with my opinions on the main characters below:

Little Ash: I'm going to be frank here and say I didn't hugely like Little Ash because he's the kind of character that seems designed to appeal to a certain demographic of YA reader, e.g. the nonthreatening Bad Boy, who is a Rebel with a reputation for Doing Bad Things but who never actually does any of those bad things except when they're morally justified.  If you like Loki in the Thor movies and complain about him being too mean in the Avengers, or TV show!Crowley, or any of the various YA novel love interests of the leather-pants-Draco variety, you'll probably like him much more than I did.  Of the two divine beings, he's the more fleshed out and the one who feels more like a POV character the reader is supposed to identify with, which I of course was a little irritated by.

The angel: The angel's relationship with identity is the most compelling thing in the book to me, but it is unlikely to be a popular character with people who don't view strong senses of Duty, Purpose and general lawfulness as positive, which is frankly most of tumblr.  I would have liked more emotional responses to the changes in its identity, but I guess it was also learning emotions so maybe I shouldn't expect that of it yet.  While becoming more yourself is a good thing, not all parts of the experience are positive at the time, and when it encounters some of these parts, the angel mostly shrugs about it and moves on instead of mourning the loss of what it used to be.  It's a very sanitized transition.

Rose: I like her, as the sort of too-sensible girl you find in middle grade fiction, which I have utmost respect for.  She felt realistically like a young person who did not know what she was about but was convinced she definitely knew what she was about, which is just how being a teenager is.

I wanted there to be more Grandmother Rivke.  This is my biggest complaint.  She was great.

[luxshine]

So lets' finish Stranger Things 3

We have the anti-Russian squad going to find the kids at the mall, and the teen/kids squad trying NOT to cut El's leg. Good beginning.

Robin's nervous babble was really funny, if not helpful. And OMG Jonathan is our field medic! That gives him the role of healer in the party, which means, medic. I mean, Cleric.

Until El got tired and decided fuck with being a team player, I can do this myself.

Which she can, but still.

Oh, and the adults are here. FINALLY

Erica is amazing, and I can see she's becoming to Dustin what Dustin himself is to Steve. I love that.

Ah, Hopper, he should really learn the kids know what they're doing.

And Sweet Ride Steve!

Ah, the reunion between the kids was very sweet.

I notice that STEVE is sent to babysit the action group, but Jonathan and Nancy are sent to babysit the passive group.

Aww, Hooper is back to his old good side. The one who ACTUALLY talks about his feelings to his daughter, and is not being idiotically jealous because she leaves with an idiot. HE's even being NICE to Mike. Love that.

Joyce is going. Hopper has no choice.

Sure that passive group is not going to end up passive because Billy, but hey, I still notice that the adults trust more in Steve than in Jonathan and Nancy who are the ones actually BLOOD related to the team.

Murray is BAD at the bavarian drill. But Jim is good at improvising.

And Steve... Oh, Steve is the best dad for Dustin! Amazing Dad, and I love him and his gay sister Robin and his new kid Erica. He just needs a partner for the job.

"Scoop Troop"? Really? And of course, Nancy has a gun. Nancy IS the Barbarian of the team, and nothing will convince me otherwise.

So far I have Nancy as the Barbarian, Dustin as the Lore Keeper, Lucas is my Fighter, Will is the Wizard, El is the psionic, Max is the Ranger, and Steve the Paladin. I am still wondering about Mike's role. Oh, Jonathan is now the Cleric, yes.

El's batteries are really low.

Well, the Mind Flayer is kaijuu sized now. Cool. Wonder if the Russians will notice?

And the HoopBryce ship is SAILING people. It had been telegraphed since Season 1, but it's finally sailing.

The Scoop Troop has seen the danger. And I BET they're going to do something.

Griswold Family? OF course, Vacations.

I really like their codes. I might use them for season 4.

And of course, Super BabySitter extraordinary has to go and save the Griswold family. And Robin, as his lesbian best friend, is RIGHT behind him.

Through the Gap. Cool.

Also, Mind Flayer is not very good at seeing, which is great.

If Murray dies avenging Alexei, I will riot.

Lucas is VERY smart.

I am surprised he found a new braincell for the team, given that so far, we had ONE braincell and Robin.

Nancy REALLY wanted to shot Billy, I see.

AND STEVE TO THE RESCUE!!! I love Super Babysitter!

Aww... Suzy is adorable. Even if she just made Dustin sing in the middle of a battle. And he is not a bad singer!

THIS is a nice childhood romance. It is NOT the time or place to interrupt the action with Neverending story, but is REALLY realistic as how 13 year old kids can be. Especially as Suzy DOESN'T Know about the monster.

Poor Erica.

Ok, meanwhile, Billy is STILL alive. What is this man made of?! Besides Mind Flayer nastiness.

Wait... the Griswolds left El behind? NOT smart. Well, yes, given that the big kaijuu was following the Grinwalds and half the Scoop troop.

The Door is BIG. And I like that this time it's the non-powered ones who are closing it. Unless of course, Billy ruins it.

Oh, Billy is ruining it. Also, this is REALLY creepy.

Lucas and his fireworks to the rescue! I said the fighter was great and I was right.

Very cool that fight with the kaijuu and the fireworks. But I have a BAAD feeling about Hooper right now.

And El brings Billy back with a nice memory. Bit tropey, but it works.

Meanwhile, Joyce is super resourcefull, and Hooper is good at improvising.

IS Billy going to sacrifice himself to save El? In front of Max? Oh, my god. This is weird. I still don't like Billy, but I am a SUCKER for redemption means death.

Also, I wanted Billy to die, and I LOVE Epic deaths like this one.

... Hooper is not going to die. But MAN the showrunners wanted us to believe he would.

Every russian got pureed, the Kaijuu Mind flayer died, and hey, Billy even got to say he was sorry to Max. I still hate him, but good epic death and Redemption means DEath so... cool for him.

Murray and Joyce escaped together, which means that they will PROBABLY end up in a relationship for season 4, and hey, the army FINALLY arrived, late but they arrived!

Aww, Poor El. She STILL doesn't get to live as Jane Hooper. But I am STILL sure Hooper is still alive. You can't fool me Stranger Things 4.

3 Months later.

Of course, Steve and Robin lost their job at Scoops Ahoy so now they have to get a job. And omg, Robin is being his job wingman. I love it.

Oh, the Bryces are finally moving? Interesting.

Lucas and Max can die right now, if you ask Dustin.

Aw... Will never joining another DnD party. So sweet.

Nancy IS far more into keeping Jonathan than she was into keeping Steve. So I REALLY hope they don't try to put Nancy and Steve together again just because.

Oh El! What is going to happen to El? Everyone is dead that could take care of her.

Batteries still down, I see.

Oh, I see that El is going with the Byers. Good.

Ah.. the letter from Hooper? THAT is the old hooper that I love.

AWW Erica got the legacy!

HA! I knew Hooper was alive! He's in the worst place possible as he's now a prisoner of war, but hey, he's ALIVE! And maybe he can learn Russian!

And sigh. Yes, another Demogorgon. We really don't need more of those.

[xoxo-ren-xoxo]

Queer Men in Children’s Cartoons

idk if ppl have talked about it before but like... while it is great- seriously amazing- that we are getting so much lgbt rep in kids cartoons, I cannot be the only one who feels like there is a lack of mlm relationships still? And this is absolutely not me trying to say there should be less wlw relationships, nor is it a attack on the creators of all these brilliant new kids cartoons! Because im sure it is not their fault / they are just writing from their own experiences (a lot of the creators of these shows are queer women/nb ppl) and the very small amount of rep we get is still great, and there should certainly be more.

More under the cut

I’ve noticed that in a lot of cases, if a character in a kids TV show is going to be queer, they will be a woman (bi, lesbian, etc), or nonbinary (usually coded as afab? at least what I’ve seen). Gay men tend to be background / supporting characters at best, in a lot of cases.

I did look this up because I thought maybe it is just because all the media I’ve personally seen has had majority female casts, or something, but no, it was consistently true in a study I found on the topic, as well.

Link to Study (there is a lot of other interesting info about disability in queer characters too in here!)

Here is what I could decipher from this article. First of all, it looks like I was wrong, and there are more mlm characters than wlw. Looking at this graph, it seems like there are marginally more gay characters than lesbian:

[ID: a graph showing the sexual orientation of animated kid’s characters. Briefly, there are 50 gay characters, 49 lesbian characters, 22 queer, 16 bisexual, 2 pansexual, 1 asexual. End ID]

However, I started to think that this may be because the large majority of gay male characters are placed in supporting roles. And yes, upon looking further, it seemed I was right:

[ID: a screenshot reading ‘Fourteen queer cisgender and trans women represented 56% of the main-character roles, while queer men (though no trans men) represented 36%. End ID]

That is a pretty big difference. Over half of the main characters were queer women, while queer men made up only 36%. Now, this is taken from a small sample size, since again, there is not much representation at all to begin with, and I must note that this only takes US animated kid’s shows into account.

Usually, less representation for men and more for women would be a non-issue, and it is very true that due to the limited amount of representation in general, these findings could even out in a few years. But if the trend does continue, it will be worrying, I think. We have to ask ourselves what the difference is between gay men and lesbians, that make lesbians more visible in children’s media. There is the obvious history of gay men being seen as predators to children, and the general oversexualisation of gay men (not that lesbians aren’t sexualised, but I think the male body is also seen as inherently more overtly sexual- actively sexual rather than passively- which makes men a ‘threat’ rather than a sexual object).

Shows featuring male main characters are also often hypermasculine, making it more ‘taboo’ to make a character queer, which could explain the male/female gap in queer main characters.

Of course, there are endless theories that could be made, but I am neither smart enough nor do I have the free time to go on forever about this. I guess it is just something to keep in mind and be critical of when consuming children’s cartoons, and will be something to keep an eye on in the future.

[random-thoughts-i-had-at-3-am]

Do other friend-groups have like 1-2 people that nobody wants in the group but they won’t leave, or is that just me?? Cuz we have 2 of those in our group, the suck-ey part is that they’re both the only guys in the group, so they’ll call it sexist, and the one of them is the only black kid(I don’t like that term but it’s what I got) in the group so he’ll call racism, which is total bullshit cuz we got people from everywhere including but not limited to:

- 1 Scottish friend

- 1 Latina friend

- 2 Asian friends

- 1 French friend

- 1 Irish/Canadian friend ( me)

- 1 friend from unknown area in Europe

And we all have family from everywhere,

Including:

-Arabic family

-German family

-Hungarian family

-Egyptian family

- and fucking more bitches

Also 1 of us is adopted, we have a therian (sorry if I slaughtered the spelling), we have atheists, Catholics, goths,emos, bookworms, nerds, freaks, geeks, bisexuals, aro/aces, lesbians, gays, pansexuals, friends that aren’t in the main group but we love equally that are : trans, alt, non-bianary, wallflowers,

and fucking more bitches

btw one of the guys stalked one of us girls and was rly fucking creepy with her, one time on the bus he said out loud with no regard for anyone on that bus “oh fuck, I literally have a b0ner because of (her name),” half the bus was like :eww why would you say that to everyone?!

We don’t like the other guy because he’s a fuckin dick and we call him out on his bullshit, he’ll step over all clear boundaries, and just be plain rude here are some examples of times he did this (TW I guess):

The names aren’t our actual names but our DnD names

My one boundary is don’t touch my hair, head or neck—— he pulled my hair

Pineapple (yes that’s her character name)

Pineapple’s one boundary is that loud noise triggers her into a fight or flight, he got very loud yelling at the dm over a roll that she (pineapple) ended up crying because of the noise, she was in between the dm and the asshole

Ravens one boundary is being touched/hugged, he hugged her all the time

Wren is a lesbian, he said “ shut up lesbian” many times

K doesn’t talk much because she doesn’t like to, he called her “big dumb and ugly”, she is beautiful

Our smis autistic and doesn’t like change or pressure, he counts down when she’s talking, to cause pressure and he changes random things about his character when it’s not his turn

Gratías is a total nerd, glasses and all and he calls her : teachers pet, specs, piggy(lord of the flies reference, she’s not overweight just the glasses), secretly gay, etc

In conclusion, don’t call us racist if you know we’re not, don’t call us sexist if you know we’re not, if we don’t like you we have a fucking reason.

[cowboyfiles]

Heya, Lou was a common nickname while also a family nickname for Louisa, and, while probably not meaning to, this comes from a very lesbphobic standpoint. That a woman can’t express herself besides being feminine, you’re putting her in a box just like people in her time did. Please understand that you’re not helping her by shoving Louisa back into stereotypes of what makes a woman or a man. She grew up in a very homophobic time, that shunned others for loving the same sex. Being dissatisfied with being a woman does not mean she wished to be a man, and if she did say that, “being a man” came with freedom that woman did not have, and that lesbians didn’t have by being able to simply love each other. She didn’t want to be a man because she felt like a man, she wanted to escape what being a woman meant during her time.

Hi, anon!! Sorry I didn’t see this sooner!

Thank you so much for bringing this up. I think it makes for an interesting discussion of period-typical homophobia and the progress we’ve made in accepting and understanding people’s identities as a society, so it’s really awesome that you pointed it out.

I’ll be referring to Lou with they/them pronouns here, to take into consideration your argument and also what I found while researching my answer.

First, I’d like to state that everything I’d seen about Lou’s personal life and their relationship with gender, up until the point I made the post, mentioned that they preferred to be referred to as a man would (how they felt “more than half-persuaded” they were “a man’s soul put by some freak of nature into a woman’s body”). But it was, in fact, wrong of me (and thank you for making me notice this) to not take into consideration that, at the time in which they lived, the notions of gender and gender non-conformity were not at all the same as what we have today, so it would be unfair to just assume their repeated mentions of feeling unfit as a woman just meant they identified as a man.

I did some further research, and I think it’s fair to say we never will know what Lou really identified as, although I think we can all firmly agree, in today’s standards, they probably would have liked the broadened horizons of gender, and I think being non binary might have been what they would have identified the most with, but, again, we really cannot say.

I would also like to say that, as a lesbian myself, it’s really unfair that you put Lou in a position where they have to be a woman who feels disconnect from womanhood and femininity because of their feelings for other women, rather than a trans man. I don’t think it was lesbiphobic (at least not as much as it was really just wrong), from my standing point, to take the information I had been given and assume they would identify with being what today we know as a trans man, although a) you could not have known it, so, really, it was reasonable of you to conclude that, and b) it was good that you brought it up because it deepens the discussion even further, to gender non-conformity and the lesbian community. Society today, and at any point in time, for that matter, has a hard time understanding labels and identities like the LGBTQ+ community does; we understand it because we have to, because we need to understand ourselves and the people who, like us, don’t feel seen, or “proper” (which is such a pretentious word, but I could not think of any better alternative), but the world outside does not, and they don’t care. Perhaps, were they alive today, Lou would have identified as a gender non-conforming lesbian. I think it’s really fair to assume they did, but in the end, that’s really all we’ll do — assume.

Now, you mentioned their (for a lack of a better word) discontent with being a woman as being, at its core, a discontent with society’s views of them, and the issues that came with being a woman at the time; I don’t think that’s true. Really, as I’ve mentioned several times already, we could not know for sure, and all we’re able to do is take what Lou’s left in their words and quotes and assume; and, exactly because we can’t confirm anything, every assumption has a point of truth and is valid to their extent. Obviously, as every single argument ever made is, yours is sustainable and defendable, but I still think it’s unfair to take things like “I was born with a boy’s nature and always had more sympathy for and interest in them than in girls”, and assume that’s just discontent with societal norms. Again, we cannot know, and if that’s what you choose to believe in, of course that will be correct for you, and I don’t expect, in any way, to change your opinion.

To conclude, this discussion could go on for so much longer, and I find it incredible that you brought it up, because I would not have gone this far into it if you’d not made me realize my mistake, so thank you!! It’s only fair that I finish by saying that gender is, of course, a confusing concept that we as humans have come up with, and if, even with today’s knowledge and access, we still have a hard time grasping all its sharp and smooth edges, we can only imagine how hard it must have been for those before us; it’s also fair to state that for women, and those assigned female at birth, it is especially hard to have a good relationship with it, and we can only hope newer generations can grow into a world in which they have the most freedom to explore and experiment, and understand their boundaries with each form of gender expression.

Again, thank you so much for bringing this up! And I’m sorry, again, that I didn’t see this sooner!!

[pinkarachnia]

Lesbian Anime Review #3 - Bloom Into You

Ring the bell ladies, we’ve got a GOOD SHOW!

I won’t go too deep into plot spoilers here because let me be clear: this one is worth your time (with a caveat).

Our protagonist, Yuu Koito, has just started high school but she has a dilemma. Her middle school bestie just confessed his feelings to her but she doesn’t reciprocate. Oops! Yuu has been trying to figure herself out and why she isn’t into this guy at all, and has come to the conclusion that she is asexual, and that’s why she doesn’t want to date this guy or anyone really.

Then she has a chance encounter with Touko Nanami, a member of the student council. She sees Touko flatly reject a boy because she “doesn’t want to date anyone”. They talk, but when Yuu opens up about not being interested in anyone and having seen Touko express the same sentiment, Touko reveals that she had thought she was ace, but in actual fact has discovered that she has gay feelings for Yuu. Specifically, gay feelings that are conditional and predicated on the fact that Yuu will not fall in love with her back.

First I’m going to talk criticism.

I have two major problems with this show, and at least one of those can be forgiven in my opinion.

Issue #1: high school setting

This is the forgivable of the two issues because I think this show uses the setting effectively for its narrative. The characters are experiencing relatable adolescent struggles to understand their own sexuality, which make sense in context because they’re teenagers. Not to mention, the presence of ACTUAL ADULT LESBIANS in the cast serves to contrast the stability of the adult relationship with the turbulent adolescent ones. The adult lesbians are comfortable with each other and their own sexualities and they’re shown to have a nice life together grounded in mutual acceptance, where the kids can’t seem to get a handle on things because they’re so preoccupied with their own internal drama to see the other person’s struggles as equal. So despite the setting being the most overdone, played-out thing in all of anime, I think they at least succeed in leaning on it for what context it can add to the characters’ struggles instead of it just being set dressing to sell manga to teens.

Issue #2: The (non)Ending

This anime needed a second season so badly. The series ends at right around the half way point of the manga, but the ending doesn’t carry any emotional weight because they haven’t resolved any of their ongoing plots. It is hard to recommend this series if you only intend to watch the anime because it doesn’t conclude.

This is what I meant earlier when I said I recommend this with a caveat. The caveat is you need to be ready to finish the rest of the story by reading the manga. Now the great thing about that is the show is a faithful enough adaption of the manga that you can start reading from the point the show got up to and you won’t have missed anything. I went and read the whole manga after I finished the show and I loved it. I won't speak on any of the events of the manga that aren't in the anime because this is an anime review, but I do believe it's worth picking this up if you liked the show.

Now I’m going to praise the show. Oh my god, it’s good yuri anime. And it’s got meaningful discussion of sexuality within the text! Wow! One of my favourite characters is Maki, an actual asexual character who talks to the protagonist about her ongoing relationship drama over the course of the narrative. When they share their experiences with asexuality with each other, Maki is unconvinced that Yuu is ace at all from the way he sees her yearning, which serves to highlight how the protagonist has had her view of sexuality coloured by her experiences with compulsory heterosexuality in middle school.

Did I mention the adult lesbians? I know I did but I’m coming back to it now.

Yuri manga is currently leagues ahead of anime because the stories in manga are often more diverse than high school girls love. This show offered me a tiny glimpse into what we could have, and I cherished that. Cheers to those two homos.

Overall it’s hard not to feel satisfied even though the ending to the anime wasn’t really an ending at all. And I now have some manga volumes that will be some of the most cherished in my collection. They can go right next to Chainsaw Man on the cool guy shelf.

Pros

adult gay people

sexuality as a major theme of the text

just a nice looking, well presented show

opening theme very nice to look at

Cons

the anime doesn’t end well if you aren’t going to read the manga (read the manga)

high school setting (redeemed)

not on any streaming services so I hope you like crime (I do)

And I’m giving this one a 9/10.