#hang on. we should probably just go ahead and post what we did finish

[echidnana]

where did this burst of motivation come from…

[dlartistanon]

I have to be honest, after everything I heard I went into Lone Trail anticipating Muelsyse character assassination-- nay, *annihilation*, for the sake of Doctor-sexual fanservice and I was ready to be disappointed. But having finished reading Lone Trail myself now... What? Her homescreen lines are utter horseshit, I completely agree, but her actual character writing in Lone Trail fits that really good analysis post by meeblo so accurately that I can't believe meeblo didn't read LT before writing

"The more I think about Lone Trail the less I like how they executed the story."

So, let me preface this with with preemptive TL;DR: If you are a fan of Silence as a character, you probably really enjoy Lone Trail.

If you are a fan of any other character, especially Muelsyse, and ESPECIALLY if you don't like or don't care for self-insert pandering, you're likely disappointed and/or frustrated with Lone Trail. I am the latter.

Let me just copypaste what my friend has to say (plus my own replies and commentary) since they can articulate the feeling better than I can:

I'm sorry. I just can't imagine a world where Saria, who means so much to Muelsyse, is nearly assassinated and in awful shape, and *she knows that* and is like "wassup doctor, heard Saria's in trouble but lets hang out"

Me: Exactly. This does not make sense with what we know of their relationship. Especially since she's later worried sick/almost breaks down at the thought of losing Saria for real

I'm just going through the story and so much of it doesn't make sense to me. And it's (I'm not done but getting there) just *so depressing* how much of the event is eaten up with kind of pointless/uninteresting doctor babysitting? She should be front & center in all of this. There's so much to work with and play with but so much of it does not make *any sense*. Muelsyse did not need to be hobbled by this. Hell, so far as I've read, Doctor didn't need to be there or could have done it on their own. Fucking frustrating.

Me: I'm not that familiar with Guide Ahead, but I can't help but imagine how much better/more concise Lone Trail could've been had they handled Samuelsten in a similar way to GA's central trio. Don't shove Muelsyse to the side, make her an active agent in the story, with the people who matter to her

I mean I’ve made it to CW-7 and as someone who’s in the middle of all of this (often by design) I’m puzzled that she’s one of the least interesting parts of the event? Kristen, HoHo, Nasti, Jara are great. We know why it matters to her but she’s on the fringes the entire time. This should have been done like guide ahead but guide ahead was much better and leaner by virtue of not needing to dedicate half the fucking event to talk about how great and interesting the doctor is. There’s no reason doctor couldn’t have been with Kal’tsit the entire time. That would actually make sense. But nope.

"It's Saria you want to see, It's Kristen who you're looking for" but why don't we just stick you with Doctor the entire fucking event and you can act like you're just on a little adventure. Cannot believe I have to rely on the furniture to give what the event should have.

This might be a controversial take, but I wish all this giant lore dump with Doctor, Priestess and Kal'tsit had been relegated to another vignette or main chapter with just mentions of Kirsten/Kristen and Rhine Lab. It's taking up much too much of Rhine Lab's event. Instead of *way too many flashbacks* with Doctor/Kal'tsit/ whoever, we could have had this building up Saria/ Kirsten/Muelsyse with their past instead of the one 3 second glimpse we got. I am so mad at this stupid fucking decision. Rhine Lab Event: featuring Rhine Lab as glorified cameos

Reply: Yeah its so annoying. It takes up sooo much god damn space and for what? And for what ? It doesn’t belong. I swear to god i wish we focused on, idk, the main relationship between saria and kirsten (and mumu but my faith is lost) instead of kirsten only showing up at the very end

Yeah, I'm sure glad FERDINAND got the most screen time out of all Rhine Lab. Just *what*. But the lore dump, while *fine* is just fucking egregious and does not belong here. This could have been referenced elsewhere and they could have fleshed out everyone else.

I have finished Lone Trail! Cumulatively, I love about two chapters worth of it! I definitely had high expectations but even if I'd had mediocre expectations I would have been let down. Not enough of the Rhine Lab founders, needless lore dump that could have gone elsewhere. It felt fragmented and like a hodge podge of things. Saria, Muelsyse and Kirsten felt like cameos in the entire event. And I'm sure the intention of this was to elevate just how goddamn special the doctor is, but the way it was written, it felt like no one at Rhine Lab gives a single solitary fuck about Muelsyse in any real capacity. These are the people she's had and adores. Yes, her loneliness was a sort of focus of the event, but the way it plays out does make it feel like "yeah, you're right to be lonely. Thank god for doctor!"

So much of my irritation is not only was she reduced to a love interest for Doctor, treated poorly by everyone at RL, she had zero agency in the whole event. She really was just floating passively for the most part. Muelsyse in Lone Trail: 1. Looks for Kirsten/ doesn't find Kirsten/ abandoned & not said goodbye to by Kirsten. 2. Looks for Saria (eventually) stopped by Saria. Saves Saria, doesn't talk to her again/ is not acknowledged by Saria. 3. Nasti tells her she's a crybaby & to get lost I mean, it really is no wonder she wanted to off herself. She built Rhine Lab with them from the beginning and this is how the event chooses for all these people to treat her? It's unbelievable.

Me: All that to make Doctor look better in comparison, right? It's jarring bc it's such a far cry from the brief concern Saria showed towards her in DV and doesn't even follow up with her claim to want to save Muelsyse in LT. Where's the consistency? She remembers that Mumu is fragile, but we don't even get a scene or mention of checking up on her after crashing back down to earth?

At least in Kristen's case, she remembered Muelsyse exists afterwards with the plantlife onboard, but it's not even presented as wrong or a character flaw how Saria ignores Muelsyse in the end, even though she literally saved her life. Just... nothing. This is the defender who protects others? The one that she fell for?

Yeah “when you’re emotional you forget that you’re fragile” & okay this is a devastating day for her so fuck her very much! No need to check on how she’s doing losing a long time friend and colleague, how she was in a thing that literally crashed but she saved *her*. And this isn’t even about Samuels in particular! This is how she was treated by the people with an established history that matter to her. Obviously the game is pandering, but given how literally everyone in the game, from the actions she can see, treats her like she is disposable trash. It’s no fucking wonder she’d be like “oh wow doctor!” Because at least they treat her like a human being who has feelings and who hurts? The fact that Saria doesn’t even reach out, that she has treated her like a stranger for the most part doesn’t track. Why did they make Muelsyse the “hero/ star” of the event banner? She’s forgotten and mistreated by everyone, gets almost zero game content, her file and voice lines are a mess and she doesn’t influence the story in any way at all. This event as a Rhine Lab story was trash.

Me: It felt so much more like a "Silence" story with Rhine Lab as window dressing. They clearly didn't have any editors around because how can you SAY that these people matter to Muelsyse but then not PROVE it? The lack of care, the disrespect towards her and other characters in relation to her is just astonishing

I like Silence a lot but wtf was she leading this? The whole thing is the conflict with Sarsten w/ Muelsyse in the middle. She got a new outfit, talked to Parvis, rehashed a conversation w Saria for the 10th time? This should have been all Muelsyse / Saria/ Kirsten but they barely existed in the event. And who the fuck polled whoever else to decide that Ferdinand and the creep Josh should get the rest of the time!Why so much build up with Jara / her closeness to Kirsten to not have any interaction with them? WTF were they doing.

I could probably write an essay about all the things I felt didn't work as a Rhine Lab event. This might have worked better as a vignette just to keep it tidy. But I think the other thing for me is that… hrm this event almost assumes that all you've seen of Silence is the manhua and thus wow! Growth! She loses the glasses and gets a new style to show that off. But the Silence of this event is the Silence we've had in the game since day one. The one in Mansfield and in Dorothy's Vision who is kind of certain about what is wrong and what is right and will stand up for that. So to me there wasn't any growth there. Because we'd already seen that growth/ that was the person we've known since the start of the game. A lot of this event kind of relies on… either not having read the manhua or exclusively having read the manhua. Because if not for the manhua you don't know/ understand why there's that Kirsten/Saria divide and how much it means. It's all very weird.

And kind of to add to my little rant… DV and the manhua allude to Muelsyse being extremely close to Kirsten and being her sidekick. But in neither the manhua or any of the events do we see any of that. Instead we get Nasti (who I like a lot) in that role and--- I just don't get it. You'll be less disappointed if you don't read the manhua. lol A ton of Muelsyse's character development and her relationship with Saria is highlighted there and this event just kind of decides to burn all of that to the ground. But if you want to see why the final chapter matters/ is special/ yes, read it.

Me: Nasti's in the role bc we had to have our self-insert fix with the hot new playable op :/

yeah. with the same motivations. but all of that should have rightfully been hers I really do think they just gave Muelsyse's role to Nasti And the cherry on top of all of it was at the end when Muelsyse is like "Huh did the three of us actually dance together or did I make all of that up?" I just can't with that final slap in the face to Muelsyse and all of them. Like her talk about loneliness is fine and well done and the little history but so much left a lot of questions.

Me: yeah… it's just. wow. there were nuggets and seeds planted that had potential, but they didn't bother to actually cultivate and develop those relationships and dynamics at which point why even include them at all

Yeah, I’ll include that in my rant, but my last point on that end is Saria’s “I would do it over again” doesn’t make sense if you haven’t read the manhua— and just doesn’t jive with what is presented in the events with her that is much more clinical. And I’ve said this about multiple things— but a story should be able to stand on its own without having needed to read a manhua for additional context— and especially when having read the manhua you’re left with ??????

[recurring-polynya]

Writing/Art Update 3.5.2024

So, Polynya, did you finish the fanfic? Well...sort of? No. No, I guess the answer is actually no.

Last week, I said I had two and a half scenes left, one of which was the epilogue, and one scene I wanted to rewrite. I wrote the scene and a half that were not the epilogue, and then I tried to do that scene re-write. It came out better than it was, but I still didn't love it. I figured I would just go ahead and write the epilogue and then maybe come back and try again. 3/4 of the epilogue went great, and then I just couldn't manage to end it, and got stuck for three days. I went back and tried to re-write that scene I didn't like *again*, and barely got into before realizing that the way I was hoping to make it better did not, in fact. Yesterday, after Much Struggle, I managed to pull together an end to epilogue with is...okay...but I don't love it. So the current state of things is: 107,408 words, and it is strictly speaking, A Whole-ass Fanfic, but with two half-scenes that I hate.

It's really frustrating, because I had a bunch of productive weeks in a row, and my brain has just utterly collapsed on me in the eleventh hour. I've been trying so hard to push it over the finish line, but it's one of those things where I can't just brute force it, I need to somehow have a good idea. I am also so so tired this week. I know, logically, that probably I just need to relax and rest up for a few days and this will be easy to fix when I am feeling better, but it's hard to relax when I have this stupid almost-but-not-quite-done fanfic hanging over my head.

Here are some other stupid facts:

The scenes in question are important and I want them to be good, but they aren't exactly load-bearing, in the sense that nothing else depends on them

I don't even *need* the epilogue, and in fact, after I realized that I end all my Heart is a Muscle fics with people drinking (not on purpose, I'm just unoriginal), it made me want to drop the whole thing on principle (except that I also don't because it's sort of a thematic lead-in to the next story in the series and also Ukitake is there)

The two problem scenes are way at the end of the fanfic. When I do start posting this thing, I plan to post one chapter per week like I often do, meaning that I have literal months to fix these

Chapter 1 is beta'd and ready to go and literally nothing is stopping me from posting it this very second

BUT I don't want to post Chapter 1 until my beta has seen the whole fic because what if she notices something in Chapter 12 that needs to be fixed back in Chapter 1

AND literally nothing is stopping me from just sending my beta the last few chapters with a little note on the scenes I'm not happy with. It's highly possible she might have some ideas! Or just be like "you are insane these are fine"!

EXCEPT I don't want her to see my bad writing that I am embarrassed about

And so, here we are. I am probably going to give it another day or two, and if I can't manage to fix those two scenes, I'll just suck it up and send the rest to her.

I guess I also should re-do the banner, except I don't feel like re-doing the banner. It's....okay. I don't know. I just kind of slapped it together based on a thing we were doing at Art Club. Maybe I don't even want a banner.

Speaking of Art Club, it's March now, which meant there was a new theme at Art Club (nature) and I decided to try to get back into my daily drawing. I think this is possibly what killed my momentum on my fanfic. I am just literally only capable of having one priority at a time, even if it's a little tiny one, otherwise my brain just plays tug of war with my priorities and it's hard to manage either of them.

Anyway, I've been in kinda rough shape for the last few days, but I am sure it will pass. It's got some good bits, but I think I just never really managed to fall in love with this one, and I'm really worried about it getting a cooler reception than I'm used to, since the fandom seems to have quieted down significantly since the last time I posted one of these. On the other hand, I've worked too hard on this to not post it. Also, it's got some stuff in it that had to happen for the series to progress. And maybe other people will like it! Who knows! Not me!!

I had hoped to be able to start posting it this week, but that's not looking likely at this point, so I guess you can have another preview.

--- from Ch 3

"You really didn't have to go to all this trouble," Rukia pointed out, as she methodically piled her bowl with a heaping serving of everything on offer.

Renji grabbed a big pinch of the shirasu before passing it over to her. "It's fine. I'm not sure when I'll be up for cooking again, so I'm trying to clean out my fridge."

"Oh, so I'm helping?"

Renji grinned. "Sure."

"I love helping! If you need me to take this pickled ginger with me, I could take it off your hands."

"I think the pickles will probably keep for a bit."

"Hmmph," Rukia replied skeptically, and scooped some more into her bowl.

It was always difficult not to just sit and watch Rukia eat, in part because she truly did have an extraordinary talent for shoveling food into her mouth, but mostly because it reminded Renji of why they had come to the Seireitei in the first place, of how lucky he was these days. You have to go to work, too, this morning, he reminded himself, and dug in.

"You know, speaking of helping…" Rukia said a few minutes later, once she'd managed to eat enough to shave the edge of her morning ravenousness. "There's something I want to talk to you about."

The pleasant feelings in Renji's chest abruptly turned cold and gloppy. He frowned, and raised one eyebrow skeptically. “Yeah?”

Rukia looked up at him with her big, stupidly blue eyes. “Do you remember when we talked about how important it was for you to have a comfortable and peaceful recovery from your surgery?”

“I do. I distinctly remember asking you to drop it and not bring it up, again, actually.”

“Right, well, I never actually agreed to that. I think that you should come stay at my house.”

Renji gave her an incredulous look. “Your house? Kuchiki Manor, you mean? Your house that is actually my captain’s house?”

“It’s very nice there, as you know. The food really is very good and we have a million servants with nothing better to do--”

“I am sure they have better things to do, Rukia.”

“--and you can sit in a sunny spot in the garden and I’ll read you books and it will be so much nicer than staying in the Coordinated Relief Station!”

Renji heaved a huge, exasperated sigh. “It’s a nice idea, Rukia, but think about the look on Captain’s face if you even--”

“He said it was okay.”

Renji felt all the blood run out of his face, possibly out of his body entirely. “You asked him?”

“I know you’re only getting it done because he ordered you to. He obviously wants you to do your best to heal up well. He cares about you, too, you know, in his own way.” 

Renji stiffened, his fingers tightening on his chopsticks. “You probably told him the whole story, then? How I broke my arm in the first place?” His voice sounded like it was coming from somewhere far away.

“Not the whole thing!" Rukia shook her head vehemently. "He knows you broke it saving me, that's the only important part.”

Renji drew in a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut. All he could focus on was the sound of his own blood pounding in his ears. “Why do you always have to do this?” he finally managed through gritted teeth. “I asked you to just leave it, but you never can.”

Rukia shoved out her lower lip. “Maybe if you took care of yourself half as well as you take care of everyone else, I would!” she protested. “Just let me spoil you for a few days, would it be so terrible?”

“Yes.”

[boiwcndr]

2 + 16 + 46 !

2. Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go?

I find that the moment I plan chapters, my will to write them dies because I already know what happens/the story, so to my weird ass (affectionate) brain, there's no point in actually writing it. that being said, every time I try to write ANY multi-chapter fics, just know that it's never ever getting completed because I suck.

16. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

I want to create the next niche DC crossover so I'm mentally writing a crossover between Batman and Detective Conan/Magic Kaito because I think it's funny. The main character from Detective Conan has been compared to Superman (because he wears glasses as a disguise) and the main character from Magic Kaito has been compared to Batman (because he uses a hang-glider to fly -- this is a bit of a stretch), which is hilarious to me because the main character from Detective Conan is, well, a detective, and the main character from Magic Kaito is a jewel thief. So, obviously, I think the detective character should get adopted by Clark and the thief character should get adopted by Bruce *bricked*.

46. How would you describe your style? (Character/emotion/action-driven, etc)

I would like to say very character and emotion driven. I like to take one character and really dig into their thoughts and emotions. This is an excerpt from a rp I did (I have very rarely written any fics for Dick), which is post-joker's last laugh back in... 2020? 2019? (He's talking to Babs). I'll put it under a read more because it's long, but I feel like it's pretty accurate to how I write just in general.

"Even though he said he killed Tim, I was going to stop, I wasn't going to kill him," Dick says without looking up at Babs. What he's about to say feels weighted, like rocks trapped in his throat. He looks up to meet Babs's eyes, his own eyes darkened by anger and grief (and it's easy to see how Dick could kill the Joker, with eyes like that), and he says, "And then he said Jason's name."

(Jason, who died while Dick was in space, ignorant to what was happening on Earth. Who returned a few weeks after the funeral to hear the news from Danny Chase. Dick had checked his phone later, after that confrontation with Danny, and while he didn't have any calls from Bruce or Alfred, he had seen the missed calls from Jason, listened to the voicemail left in his inbox that he still hasn't deleted even though he should. Jason, who no doubt died alone and scared and probably didn't think that Dick cared.).

He might have stopped the Joker for everyone -- for all of the lives he had taken, for Babs, for Tim, but it had been for Jason that Dick had snapped, killed the Joker, and let him win. Jason, who was dead. Not Tim, who he was arguably closer to now than he ever was to Jason. Not Babs, who he was definitely closer to than he ever was to Jason.

How useless, how cruel (to be saying this to someone to the Joker has hurt. To essentially say, Sorry, it wasn't your pain who made me snap, it was my dead brother's. The one who wasn't even my brother because I was never a part of the family, and I'm still not and probably won't ever be, not after this.). His grip on Babs's wrists shake, just a little.

"I don't understand why Bruce didn't just let him die," Dick says, even though he knows. He knows that other people think it's just because Bruce didn't want Dick to be a murderer, but that wasn't it, that wasn't all. It's Bruce. (He could never let a person die in front of him, not if he could help it.). "I should have just finished the job anyway, once he was back."

Should have just used a batarang to cut his throat in a way that Bruce couldn't just revive him back. Done it in front of Bruce, Tim, Steph, Kate, God, and everyone else. Say this is where he ends, this is where he stops.

("We fight because there are times where we must," Kori had once told him. "We kill because there is honour in a death from combat, but also because there are some evils that cannot be locked away, only cut from the root." And Dick had told her, taught her, "That's not how we do things, here on Earth." But he had wondered, sometimes, if her way was not better in some ways, for some people, for some monsters.).

"I don't know what to do," Dick admits. The man who always has a plan, who always has several contingencies lined up, but he doesn't know what to do now. "Go back to Bludhaven, let Bruce ignore me as much as he wants to?" Cut himself off from everyone in Gotham, everyone in the Titans. (Did he really deserve to be Nightwing?).

[thedawningofthehour]

Hi!! Yes, hello, I cried again, thank you for that. Even though you said we „shouldn’t expect too much“, my heart is still very much cracked haha

ANYWAY, since the guessing game is still on, I was thinking a lot during this chapter. My guess is, either Raph has a really stupid idea that he‘s thinking through right now and that‘s why he‘s been so quiet OR smth happens to the Hueso place and he like sacrifices himself to get his family to escape like idk maybe EPF or smth knocks at the door and he holds them off

And so I was wondering if you could tell us when this stupid thing is gonna happen, I have a feeling it might be like the book 2 finale or somewhere close to that??

ALSO, I was wondering how you organise your chapters and the plot you write about. Do you have like a pinboard and put the NYC map on it and connect the dots with red yarn? (Detective style) or do you use some program or are just…weird and memorise it all?

Maybe he hasn't actually had the stupid idea yet, but he's definitely ruminating on everything that eventually compels him to make that decision.

The stupid thing will be a direct consequence of the final climax, so it'll be coming up here soon. I'm going to put up a poll probably after the next chapter.

I'm giddy that we're getting there, honestly. There's a foreshadow I put in literally in the single-digit chapters of Book 1 and when I wrote that I couldn't imagine actually getting to that point. I always feel like I'm going to die or something before I finish stuff, like, I was shocked when I finished doth.

Oh my goooood I am so terrible about plotting and outlines and stuff. I always, always feel like I'm in elementary school filling out a worksheet. I am basically this guy

except there is no paper because I haven't written anything down I'm just sleep deprived and rambling and smoking copious amounts of weed. (I have never smoked weed)

I know generally how the plots go, and as chapters draw closer I start thinking more specifically about where parts should go and where they would fit best. The whole war kick-off thing, that originally was going to happen after the third reverse-kidnapping, (the mall with the mercenaries one) but Gale and Mikey were still having their library trips, and that just seemed like an...awkward thing to have hanging over them. And it just didn't have to be. I could have cut that arc short, delayed the third reverse-kidnapping until after after the library meetings were discovered, or I could push off the war. And the war didn't need to happen then-if anything, it complicated the other plot points that needed to happen. And I think it worked out for the better this way.

I'm not totally satisfied with this method though. When I was writing Book 1, I had probably about half the fic written before I started posting-it was all in one document, Donnie's scenes were all together and Leo's scenes were in some incomprehensible order and often unfinished because I wasn't expecting to post anything and would just stop when I felt like it, when I finally committed to putting it to order I think I had like eight documents open at one point and three different highlighter colors to denote what I'd done in the master document, it was an ORDEAL-but it meant that I could group scenes together based on what was most effective, move things around very easily. The fact that Leo and Donnie's chapters were pointedly not happening at the same time helped a lot too. In Book 2, I end up writing with two, maybe three chapters planned ahead in my brain, and I feel like that forces me to sometimes rely on short-term climaxes that add to the word count but don't really do much for the story overall, or put off certain things that I don't particularly feel like writing at the time or don't know would work there. Book 2 would probably be significantly shorter if I'd plotted it out the way I did Book 1.

...What were we talking about? Oh! I do actually have a map of NYC open pretty much constantly in my fic window, it probably shows when they were driving around last chapter that I was literally going along the border with my pointer finger. But I'm terrible and I don't write any of this shit down. I usually remember, but there have been occasions where I've completely forgotten what I was going to do, and I think it was chapter 32 where I had pretty much finished the rest of the chapter and then realized I'd forgotten the final Leo scene-which was a pretty major scene. So I guess...yeah, weird and memorize sounds correct, but I don't actually do it that well.

[riddlerosehearts]

decided i'm going to start posting my thoughts on baldur's gate 3 every so often as i make my way through the game, because it'd be nice to have some of this stuff about first playthrough written down somewhere! my tav is a half-high elf bard named elenion (he/they) who's neutral good-aligned, and despite being a bard he's very reserved and is always feigning self-confidence. also, he's a college of lore bard who honestly would've fit the sage background pretty well but i went ahead and gave him entertainer instead lol. i guess that actually gives me the opportunity to see more of the inspiration goals by not having the same background as gale! anyway though, here's a few thoughts about what i've done while still being very early in act 1:

at the point i'm at in the story right now, i was supposed to go look for halsin, but instead i decided to finally find karlach. i feel like i probably should've gotten her sooner, but once i got to the grove i didn't wanna venture too far from the main objectives--and the grove is where you recruit wyll and learn about karlach in the first place.

however, halsin sounds very wise and capable so i guess he can handle himself while he waits, and the mindflayer tadpole symptoms aren't progressing like they're supposed to, so why not just go off and act like we've got all the time in the world! maybe elenion is just easily distracted. they did waste quite a bit of time earlier when they found alfira and felt compelled to help her finish her song. and speaking of, i was not expecting such a beautiful cutscene for that?! or for the squirrels we talked to using speak with animals to be so mean and hate her song 😭 but i hope we get to see alfira again and that nothing bad happens to her, and i hope i don't eventually regret saying that!

also, wyll did say karlach is a danger to the entire sword coast, which makes hunting her down sound pretty important... and elenion has an interest in history so they recognized the phrase "advocatus diaboli" and were able to mention the blood war when wyll first talked about her. so maybe they're also interested in seeing if they can get a devil who fought in the blood war and is now wandering the material plane to answer a few questions before taking her down. anyway, point is we're leaving the druids and our quest for a cure hanging to go hunt a devil.

took me a bit to find her despite wyll's quest leading you to her, though. i have a horrible sense of direction, which i guess is okay because my horrible sense of direction did lead me to accidentally find scratch and now we have a dog!

eventually i did get to karlach, and elenion's mind connected to hers and gave him a much closer look at who karlach is and what she's doing here than he expected. naturally he convinced wyll to stand down because karlach does not seem evil. and then he tried to ask karlach some of the questions he had in mind back at camp, but she won't reveal anything until we hunt down the paladins that are still hunting her. understandable, i guess. i like her though! i should try and make sure to get her earlier on my next playthrough.

encountered mizora for the first time when i rested at camp, and i'm very intrigued by what's going on with wyll and i actually have been since way before i played the game and found out he was a fabled hero who was also a warlock. which is why i also think it's a huge shame that from what i've heard at least, he was given a lot less content for his quest and his romance than the other companions were.

wandered around the world a bit more and ended up freeing a poor guy who was being spun around on a windmill by goblins. then i got the scene with gale where he teaches you how to channel the weave, and it not only had bard-specific dialogue options but also had an option that specifically reflected my character's proficiency in history, which was all really neat to see. god, there must be an insane amount of different dialogue branches in this game. love that there was also an option to be like "yeah that was neat, but i could've done it myself lol" since a bard is already a spellcaster.

the range of these particular dialogue options is killing me LMAO

i had high enough approval with gale to trigger a very obviously romantic scene and then the game is literally like "okay, so do you want to kiss him or do you want his severed head on a spike" 😭 like wtf do you THINK?! i can't even imagine how i'd roleplay a character who would be cruel enough to get this far and lead gale on so much before picking to project an image of his head on a spike directly into his mind. and yet i am so curious about what happens if you do--but not curious enough to reload and try to find out. mostly because i cannot bring myself to be mean to gale.

anyway, i picked the romantic walk option. i thought elenion would consider the kiss thing to be a bit too forward. but that was such a sweet scene and i love flustered gale gets when he realizes how you feel about him. going into this game i really thought i'd wanna try for astarion or shadowheart's romances first, and i do like them a lot and want to keep learning more about both of them, but gale surprised me with how much i already liked him from his introduction. he's just really charming and funny and also fits well with the character i made, so i will definitely keep progressing his romance.

aaand i've been progressing a bit slowly because of irl stuff but everything about this game is so good that i wish i'd picked it up sooner! i've been spoiled on quite a bit of things about the story already, but there's also a lot that i haven't been spoiled on and i can't wait to experience all of it anyway.

[genork-the-fandork]

Note: I meant to finish this much, much sooner than I clearly did... I’M SO SORRY. Life is hard ;w;

Hello, @atsoraasayoma​ ! I’m sorry that I wasn’t clear, but @animegenork​ is my main blog, where I do my fangirling and nonsense ramblings. This is the blog where I take writing requests! (Tumblr doesn’t let you reply on posts with a sideblog, unfortunately.)

In any case, I’d be happy to write your request. c: I hope you like it!

Word Count: 2080 words

A/N: I had a hard time coming up with a real reason for why Taichi would ban Hikari from seeing Takeru, considering how much he loves Takeru as well. So that was kinda flubbed, I think, and maybe a tad out of character. Otherwise, it should be okay...?

“But Taichi,” Hikari whined, “you and I both know he didn’t mean it.”

“I don’t care, Hikari. He went too far.” Taichi scrubbed his hand through his wild mane of hair, a crease forming between his eyebrows. “I know I’m an idiot, but being told that outright to my face by Takeru? That’s a low blow.”

Hikari sighed. It had been a prank, or least Takeru’s idea of one. Everyone else had laughed, but Taichi’s eyes had shone with hurt. As his sister, Hikari had been the first to notice this and the fact that he wasn’t laughing.

“I don’t want you hanging around him outside of school, Hikari,” Taichi muttered, and Hikari widened her eyes. “At least until he learns his lesson.”

“That’s not fair! You’re my brother, not my father!” she cried. The thought of not even getting to walk home with Takeru, her best friend, was unbearable. For more reasons than she would be able to explain. “What if he apologizes? Will that fix it?”

“It’s going to take more than that. I know you two are close, but the last thing I need is my sister hanging out with someone who thinks insults are funny.” Taichi turned to leave the room, stopping with his hand on the doorframe. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, and Hikari could tell by his voice that he was. “It’s just for now. Just give me some time.”

She didn’t reply as he left, and it wasn’t until she heard the front door of their apartment close that she sat down hard on her bed, wondering what in the name of the Digital World she was going to do now.

~ ~ ~

“Taichi said what?”

Yamato let out a heaving sigh. “You know how he is. It takes him forever to get over things.”

“I thought that was you.”

“And that mouth of yours is probably why he’s pissed.”

“It was a joke!”

“For someone so grown up, you sure are childish.”

Takeru groaned. “So I can’t hang out with my best friend until this all blows over?”

“That’s the gist of it.”

“This is awful.” Takeru lowered his head, rubbing a hand down his face. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“On the bright side, at least you’ll have some time to think. Maybe you’ll come up with some nicer pranks, or at least ones that don’t hurt the gogglehead’s feelings.”

“Yeah, sure. Thanks, Yamato.”

His brother nodded and left, leaving Takeru with his thoughts. He wasn’t sure he could handle time away from his best friend--unlike Taichi and Yamato, they didn’t exactly subsist on time away from each other. They were always better together, but now they couldn’t have that except in school. And it’s not like they had much time, then.

This was going to be rough.

~ ~ ~

“Hikari? What’s wrong?”

Blinking to clear the fog over her vision, Hikari glanced over at Miyako, who was leaning down to meet her eyes. Sora and Mimi, just ahead of them, were looking back at her in concern. “Oh, sorry. It’s nothing.”

Sora raised an eyebrow. “Hikari, you’re your brother’s sister, and that face doesn’t mean nothing.”

Mimi put her hands on her hips. “Come on, girl, tell us what’s up.”

“Only if we get some ice cream.”

The girls agreed and led Hikari to an ice cream shop, where they took over a corner table and leaned in close to hear what was on her mind. Hikari wanted to smile at this, because even though they were all in high school, they had never once given her the feeling that they’d left her behind and moved on.

“It’s just, ever since Taichi forbid me from seeing Takeru outside of school--”

“--which is completely bogus and stupid! Go on.”

“Thank you, Mimi. Anyway, I’ve just been, I don��t know, feeling weird. I can barely talk to him at school because of class and everything, and not seeing him just feels... wrong. It’s like I’m empty without him.”

A worm of doubt and embarrassment slithered through her at the smirks the three other girls exchanged. “Don’t just smirk at me! What’s going on?”

Sora’s smile was kind. “I think Mimi can explain it best.”

Flicking her hair over her shoulder, Mimi set her hands on her hips and declared, “Obviously, you’re in love with him!”

“What?” Hikari’s heart beat faster as if in confirmation. But there was no way that was true... right? “How can I be in love with him?”

“You want to spend more time with him, right? And you feel empty without him around? That’s a clear sign of missing him. But while I missed all of you while I was in New York--” and here Mimi threw her arms around Sora and Miyako and squeezed them both, “--I didn’t necessarily feel empty inside without you around me. I knew I could still call or email you, and there was the Digital World, too.”

Miyako nodded. “I bet you think about him even when you two are apart, and you see things on television you wanna tell him about next time you see him because they reminded you of him.”

“Well, yeah, but isn’t that the same with everyone else’s best friends?” Hikari gestured to Sora and Mimi. “Don’t you two talk constantly about your favorite dramas?”

“It’s not the same with Takeru, is it?” Miyako shook her head. “You want to talk to me about our favorite anime, but when you see something you know Takeru likes, you want to watch it so you can talk about it.”

Hikari wanted to protest, but she knew that they were right. It was different with Takeru--it always had been. No matter how hard she tried to deny it, it had always been a different feeling when she was with him. And lately, her heart had done somersaults whenever they talked, constricting when he smiled or when he was playing with Patamon.

With a sigh, she pinched her nose and said, “Oh my God, I’m in love with him.”

“Ladies, we have liftoff.” Mimi brushed her hands together as if they’d achieved something grand. “Now what are you gonna do about the Taichi thing?”

“I can punch him for you,” Miyako offered.

“No, it’s fine. I can figure this out. I think.” Hikari released a breath. “Now I guess I just need to tell him.”

“Don’t worry, it can’t possibly go wrong. Unless I’ve been wrong about you two this entire time.”

“Thanks, Mimi, that’s reassuring.”

“Anytime!”

~ ~ ~

“Taichi is being unreasonable,” Ken said, taking the bowl of candy away from Daisuke before he ate too much sugar. “I’m sure he was just lashing out because he was hurt.”

“He never reacts like this. Did I really go too far?” Takeru groaned and fell back onto the carpet, spreading his arms out on either side like he was going to make a carpet angel. But he knew doing so would only remind him of Hikari.

“I thought it was funny,” Iori said, raising his hand like they were in class. “Although it was a bit childish.”

“Yeah, it was.” Takeru grimaced. “And I’ve been feeling crappy about it ever since.”

“I wish there was a way we could help.” Ken furrowed his eyebrows, which Takeru recognized as his thinking face. There was a moment of silence among the boys before Ken spoke up again. “Is Taichi open to an apology?”

“I hope so. I really miss Hikari.”

Daisuke narrowed his eyes and leaned across the coffee table until he was in Takeru’s face. “You miss her, huh?” A smirk climbed up his face as he rested his chin on his fist. “Are you sure that’s it?”

“What are you talking about?” Takeru could barely understand Daisuke on a good day, and this was anything but.

Iori translated. “He’s asking if you’re sure you only miss her.” The younger boy raised an eyebrow. “I’m wondering the same thing. Is that all you’re feeling?”

Why was he being psychoanalyzed? “Of course that’s it! She’s my best friend! Everything’s so boring without her; I wish she was here to help translate Daisuke-speak.”

“So you wish you were with her more often,” Ken mused, slowly unwrapping a piece of candy.

“Um, yeah? Why are you all making a big deal about this?”

“You clearly like her, you dingus!” Daisuke finally shouted. “And I should know, I’m the expert on having a crush on Hikari!”

“You couldn’t even get her to hold your hand.”

“I thought we agreed never to speak of that, Iori.”

“Like her?” The realization hit Takeru like a brick. Of all their friends, he should have been the first to realize this; he’d always been good at picking up on signals about this type of stuff. But here he was, just as clueless as Daisuke used to be. How had he been so stupid? “God, you’re right.”

“Of course I’m right!” Daisuke puffed out his chest proudly. “Now, onto the task of wooing fair Hikari’s heart--I’m thinking white horse--”

“Why would we let Takeru ride a horse when he has Pegasmon?” Ken looked confused. “And wouldn’t it be better to shower her in flower petals and present her with an extravagant present.”

“I’ve heard that he needs to sing a song. I’m sure Yamato would back you up, Takeru,” Iori suggested.

Takeru needed to stop this. “Uh, thanks, guys, I’ll consider all your ideas, but I think I need to do this on my own.”

Daisuke shrugged. “Your funeral. Don’t come crying when your boring gesture doesn’t work.”

“I appreciate the confidence, Daisuke.”

“Anytime.”

~ ~ ~

“And that’s all the reasons why you’re not an idiot and I am for suggesting you are.” Takeru pressed his forehead into the floor, his knees aching from how long he’d been crouching. “I’m really, really sorry, Taichi--please don’t be mad anymore.”

The floor creaked, and he felt Taichi’s hand ruffling his hair. “I suppose I could forgive you. Really, I could never stay mad at you, Takeru.”

Takeru lifted his head and smiled at Taichi. “That’s great to hear.”

“Just watch it next time, okay? I know I’m an idiot, but it hurts when it comes from my little brother.” Taichi wrapped one arm around him and hugged the younger boy. “But thank you anyway for the apology. It means a lot.”

“I will. Thank you, Taichi.” Takeru sighed. A weight lifted off his shoulders. Now he could see Hikari again.

There was a sound of running, and Hikari suddenly appeared in the hallway, breathing heavily even though she couldn’t have run too far. “Did you make up? Taichi, have you stopped being stubborn?”

Taichi winked at Takeru and walked away. “Yeah, yeah, yell at me later. I know you want to talk to him.”

Hikari did just that, practically tackling Takeru in a hug. Even though Takeru was very much a hugger and had been used to this sort of thing from Mimi and Miyako, he’d never received such an enthusiastic hug from Hikari before. How long had it been, five years? Six? He laughed and hugged her back, his face aching from how wide his smile was. “I missed you, too, Hikari.”

“About that.” Hikari pulled away, a determined look on her face. “I’m just gonna say it, so please don’t hate me.” She took a deep breath before saying in a rush, “I think I’m in love with you.”

Takeru blinked. He had a feeling he’d heard her correctly, but still, he had to be sure... “You’re what?”

She said it just as fast as before. “I think I’m in love with you.”

“Come again?”

“I’m not saying it again, Takeru!”

He laughed again, but this time it was nervous. He could still see some of the spikes of Taichi’s brown hair around the corner, and he didn’t want to make the older boy mad again. But hell if he wasn’t going to take this chance and roll with it before Taichi did something to undermine it all. “I, uh, I think I’m in love with you, too, Hikari.”

“Say that again?”

“Absolutely not.” Takeru gave her one of his signature crooked grins. “I missed you like hell, Hikari.”

“I missed you, too.” She lightly flicked his forehead. “Never piss off my brother again, doofus.”

“If it means never seeing you? Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Hikari smiled and hugged him again, and Takeru wasn’t sure if he would ever be as happy as he was in this moment.

[cricketnationrise]

I posted 3,853 times in 2022

163 posts created (4%)

3,690 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@kindofapieceofshit

@lilacborrower

@weneedtotalkaboutfic

@littletinydoom

@a-very-gay-disaster

I tagged 1,504 of my posts in 2022

#omgcp - 383 posts

#cricket writes - 119 posts

#fanart - 85 posts

#zimbits - 84 posts

#fic rec - 77 posts

#check please - 76 posts

#dex - 71 posts

#my maine man - 69 posts

#cricket chirps - 58 posts

#nursey - 57 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#bc given half a chance i think y1 bitty finds the part of the rink that is furthest from the other team while still being helpful for samwe

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

camilla + december 23 + falconer’s stadium parking lot?? congrats on 200!!

I haven't written Camilla before, so this was super fun to work on! Enjoy <3

_X_ _X_ _X_

Falconer's Parking Lot, Dec. 23

The things I do for you Jack Zimmermann, Camilla thinks when the wind kicks up while she waits outside the players’ exit.

She has gifts to finish wrapping, a guest room to get ready, last minute groceries to buy – but instead she is shivering despite her layers and the late afternoon sun.

Camilla had been planning on seeing one of Jack’s games, actually. Sometime in March, when she knew she had a week off. When it was a bit warmer. Her girlfriend had been baffled by Camilla going to hang out with an ex-boyfriend, but she and Jack had always been friends first – even after they started sleeping together. Once Jack decided he was friends with someone, he put 110% of himself into maintaining that friendship. They’d actually developed a fairly regular text thread, which – based on the everything she knew about Jack – was more surprising than him going into the NHL.

He’d used an emoji a few weeks ago and she almost fell off her chair.

Jack had actually called her to invite her to this game specifically – I know it’s right before Christmas and you’re probably busy but I’ve got a ticket, two if you want them – and there was something in his voice that piqued her interest. A hesitant sort of glee, like happiness was trying to burst out of him but he was reining it in for propriety’s sake.

So Camilla went to the game. It was a fun one, the Falconers beating Chicago by three points; Jack with a goal that even Camilla could tell was absolutely beautiful.

Jess: i’ve got dinner in the crockpot when you get back ❤️

“Camilla?”

She looks up from her phone to see Jack, game day suit on and a Falcs beanie – it’s a toque, Cam – covering his shower-wet hair.

“Hey, Jack! Great game,” she says, moving in for a hug. Despite the bulking up he’s done since the season started, Jack still hugs the same.

“Thanks,” he says, “The boys worked really hard, really dug in there, managed to get the pucks in deep, and Chicago was just—”

“Jack.”

“Right, sorry, habit now,” he says sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “How have you been?”

“You know how I’ve been. What did you want to tell me in person?”

“I—”

“Because I gotta say Jack, I’ve never seen you look so settled.”

“Oh,” he says, looking pleased.

And he does look settled. There’s actual calm behind his eyes, settled in his frame; it’s like contentment has been knit into his bones. She’s never seen him this relaxed, even after winning games at Samwell – it looks great on him.

A gust of wind comes up again, and Camilla shivers again.

“Shit, you should come inside, we can talk in the player’s lounge for a minute, plus there'll be a snack and at least coffee to drink if you want to warm up a bit before heading out.”

“Jack, of course I’ll come in for a minute, but you’re babbling.”

“Right. Um.” He takes a deep, steadying breath, before meeting her eyes squarely. “Come meet my boyfriend?”

She can’t help the smile that bursts out. “Even if I wasn’t freezing right now, you have to know the answer’s yes.”

He motions her inside ahead of him. She revels in the warmth as the chat about small things through the hallways. Camilla notes with interest as Jack nods and waves at various staff that pass them by. It’s a marked difference from even two years ago. 

It suits him.

They pass into the player’s lounge and Camilla gets her first glimpse of a short young man with blonde hair who’s facing away from the entrance. Is that—? She manages to keep her excited cheer behind her lips when the man turns at the sound of their footsteps.

See the full post

65 notes - Posted September 13, 2022

#4

for @the-lincyclopedia and Fandom Trumps Hate 2022

I hope you love it as much as I loved writing it! <3

---

“What are you saying, William, I’m not good enough to bond with alone? That dear Christopher must be present for us to maintain our friendship? I am hurt, nay, devastated. I have laid my heart at your doorstep—”

“Oh here we fucking go—”

“—only to have you trample it every time you cross your threshold—”

“Nursey, c’mon.”

“—Leaving me to barely survive on the meager dregs of your affection—”

“You are the single most dramatic person I have ever met,” Dex mutters, trying valiantly to hide his grin.

---

Or, 5 times Dex wishes their relationship was real +1 time he doesn't have to

85 notes - Posted July 31, 2022

#3

for the mini fic game! “The summer sun was not meant for boys like me. Boys like me belonged to the rain.” Benjamin Alire Sáenz, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe

"And then I was gonna end with 'Boys like me belonged to the rain.'" Nursey finished. "What do you think?"

And Dex - well Dex had to think about that for a while. Because he knew how big a deal it was that Nursey was showing him his poetry at all. Knew first hand how hard they had both fought to get to this friendship. Been through argument after argument; careless comments and intentional hurts.

But they had gotten here. To a place where Nursey had shyly asked Dex's opinion - I trust you bro - and Dex, powerless to refuse, had agreed to hear it. He treasured that trust, held it close.

But he was fucked. Because Dex didn't have the words for this. Not the tactful, delicate words he knew Nursey needed to hear. His life was built around tools and numbers, not prose and poetry.

And Dex hated the poem.

Well -

It was written well, so well that even someone like Dex could follow the metaphors; Dex could be let in on Nursey's thoughts, just enough for a glimpse. But the glimpse was dark and twisted and Dex was furious.

"Dex?"

There was no way he could say that. He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, trying to come up with something, anything to compliment. And, as usual, words deserted him.

"You gonna say anything, man, you're looking sort of - tense?" asked Nursey. It breaks Dex out of his reverie and loosens his jaw but without his brain's permission.

"It's really awful, Nurse."

You could hear a pin drop. The silence feels like an actual weight on his chest and Dex knows, okay? He knows how badly he fucked up. Knows he won't ever get a chance like this again.

"I mean--"

"Wow, Poindexter, harsh," Nursey says, the light in his eyes snuffed out. "If you didn't want to listen, you shouldn't have said yes."

"Wait, Nursey, I meant --"

"Save it, Dex, we're chill," Nursey bites out, already shoving his things back into his bag.

"No it was written really well I just--"

"Save it for someone who cares," Nursey says, striding across the room, hand already on the doorknob before Dex finds his voice again.

"It's awful because at one point you felt like that Nursey."

Nursey pauses, not looking at Dex, hand still on the doorknob.

"What?"

"Or that you still feel like that I don't know, but. But - Nursey. Derek. The sun is meant for everyone. And the fact that you felt the opposite strongly enough to write a whole poem about it infuriates me."

Derek has turned back now, just staring at Dex, wearing an expression that Dex has never seen.

"Because you deserve all the good things this world can possibly muster. You're kind, and smart, and strong, funny and surprising, and you just - you care so much about the world and the people in it. There's no way that the world could ever be so cruel as to just restrict you to belonging to the rain. You belong to the summer sun just as much, if not more."

Dex can feel his heart beating wildly in his chest. He has no idea where the words came from, but they seem to have dried up for now. He takes a deep breath and looks up at Derek and Derek is -

Dropping his backpack and striding toward Dex with such purpose that his breath catches in this throat. He still can't parse the expression on his face. No idea what Derek is going to do or say when suddenly he's there and reaching out and -

Lips. Full, slightly chapped, lips on his. Moving against his. Moving with his as he gathers enough brain cells to kiss Derek back. To throw his arms around Derek's waist. To sigh into his mouth, letting his tongue flick out and move against Derek's. Minutes, hours, or perhaps several sunlit days pass before they break apart, needing air.

Derek rests his forehead against Dex's, unwilling to separate further than a breath.

"Shit, Will. Warn a guy next time."

See the full post

96 notes - Posted May 28, 2022

#2

haus kitchen, 10:43pm

“Is there anything you want for your birthday? I’m obviously making you whatever you want for team dinner, but, I, uh, want you to be able to unwrap something too, ya know?”

Dex is bright red, determinedly not meeting his eyes on the first weekend back from winter break. Nursey bites down on the urge to just blurt out I could unwrap you and makes himself actually think about it.

“Huh. I don’t know, I hadn’t really thought about it this year. My birthday always kind of sneaks up on me and this year with having to figure out what post graduation looks like?” Nursey shakes his head ruefully, “It just hasn’t been on my radar.”

“Nursey, I-there’s gotta be something you want.”

Well. Obviously. But he’s been getting along so well with Dex this year, the last thing either of them needs is Nursey’s awkward confession of feelings to throw their dynamic off again. Sure, there’s been moments that Nursey’s thought maybe just maybe but--

“Have you considered...a book?” he asks weakly.

“Wow, what a novel idea. I’ll bet no one has ever thought to give you a book before,” Dex deadpans.

“Ugh, Dex, a novel idea? Novel? How dare you my good sir,” says Nursey.

“Would you believe it was unintentional?”

“...I’ll allow it. That’s your freebie for today, though.”

“Noted.”

135 notes - Posted February 12, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

what if Dex is actually bad at fixing things?

like what if he only knows how to fix one specific problem at the haus like he tightens a cabinet handle or something but then bitty sees him and decides that means dex is Handy(TM) and tells the rest of smh

and now dex is being asked if he knows how to fix everything around the haus and like his only skill is that he knows which end of the screwdriver to hold - he doesn't know how to hang a door or re-support the porch - and he tries to correct bitty but then nursey is like 'what you don't want to help the team poindexter?' and so then dex Doubles Down

tons of research, videos, how to guides, he actually gets a part time job at a hardware store "for the money" but in actuality so he can learn from the owner

and he becomes mr fix it out of SPITE

160 notes - Posted October 22, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[grippingbeskar]

hands off | matt murdock

matt murdock x fem!reader

word count: 3.6k

warnings: ADULT CONTENT MINORS DNI (mutual masturbation, mxf intercourse, dirty talk) swearing, established relationship

a/n: okay. OKAY! okay. be gentle with this one because it’s my first matt fic!!! also, i saw this video on tik tok about ppl doing this game thing, but idk who posted it first and i don’t have the videos, but that’s where the dies comes from. also this is literally just smut, don’t even look at me ITS BEEN A LONG WEEK. okay bye. literally posting this and running away to sleep bc i am afraid BYE.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Sooo? You like it?” You keep to your side of the couch as Matt brings the glass up to his mouth for a second time. He hums, swallowing and licking his lips, and you have to bite down on your own to control yourself.

Asshole.

“It’s…”

“What?”

“Sweet.” His voice rumbles. You think you should have tied yourself down or something, because there’s no way you can win this stupid bet if he was going to keep teasing you like this. He wasn’t even doing anything, really. Everything he did seemed to turn you on in some way or the other, especially now, as the alcohol starts to kick in, warmth spreading through your face, flowing all the way down.

It was your idea; this whole bet. You and Matt had been together for a while now, and the longer you spent with him you realised how much of a fucking tease he was. So, in your muddied brain, you decided two could play at that game, even though you were almost certain you would fail miserably. You were, however, planning on giving him a run for his money. Or your money, considering how you had both put two hundred dollars on the table for the winner.

The rules were simple. You drink an entire bottle of wine- your favourite brand, hence the taste testing Matt was currently being put through, and sit on opposite ends of the couch. The first one to break - to touch the other in any way, loses. You were notoriously… frisky, when you drank wine, and Matt thought the game was going to be innocent enough until you started popping more bottles.

“Good sweet or bad sweet?” You say, and he empties the glass, holding it out for you to pour him another.

“I’d give it a good 7 out of 10. I’ve tasted better.” He hears the exasperated gasp of shock, and smiles in a way that’s so classically Matthew that your heart skips a beat. He probably hears that too.

“This is the best thing I have ever had. What could possibly taste better than this?!” You pour him another glass that he downs half of quickly, eager to get to the good part.

“I can think of a few things.” Your breath hitches in your throat, and he smirks, taking another sip.

“That feels like cheating.” Your entire body ignites at the shift in mood, and you nearly shiver when his hand trails along the edge of the couch, moving dangerously close to your shoulder, then retreating back.

“Hey, you said no touching. Nothing in the rules about telling you how much I love your-“

“Okay! Okay. I get it. Finish your glass, cheater.” He downs the rest obediently, placing the glass gently on the table, right next to the stack of fifty dollar notes you had pooled. He was smirking - clearly thinking he was already ten moves ahead of you, but you had a couple tricks up your sleeve to win this thing. Well, one trick.

“So, how do you want to do this?”

“What do you mean?” You finish your glass and get rid of it, the empty wine bottles clanking together somewhere on the floor.

“Well, obviously you are going to lose, so do you want to just give up now, or do we have to play this whole little game first?” Typical. Complete confidence, right from the start.

“Listen, Murdock. One thing you’ll learn about me tonight, is that no matter how incredibly attractive you look right now, I am very competitive. Very. Competitive. Especially when it comes to money, because I am also very broke.” He laughs again, his head hanging back off the couch. “Besides, who says you won’t break first?”

“I’m pretty sure I can take you apart from right here.” His voice has dropped an octave. You recognise that tone in an instant. He only talks to you like that, all commanding and a little mocking; when he’s fucking you. Or about to fuck you. Your whole body reacts to him - you don’t even have a choice in the matter, it’s like a bell rings and you’re switched into that mode. All he needs to do is talk to you like that, and you want to get on your knees and forget all about this stupid bet and-

“Am I right? You think I can make you all sweet and desperate just talking to you?” Yes. He could. He knew it, because he’d done it before, but you weren’t ready to give him the satisfaction. Not when the game had barely started.

“Who says we’re just gonna talk?” You settle back, letting your legs stretch just this side of your half of the couch.

“Is that a threat, honey?” The endearment mixed with his slightly rough tone has you tightening every muscle in your body, and if you didn’t get a hold of yourself you might as well just shreds your money now.

“Just got a few ideas, that’s all.” You blink innocently, and he scoffs.

“I promise we’ll do all the things I know your pretty little head is thinking about right now. All you have to do is give in to it.” The way he’s sitting is so cocky; if he wasn’t so fucking sexy you think you’d slap him. Arms stretched out, one dangling over the back, the other strung lazily across his stomach, making a perfect line down to where his legs are spread as wide as possible. You don’t miss how easy it would be for you to slot yourself in to that spot, to be surrounded by him.

“Hmm. Tempting.” He shrugs, almost saying ‘I know.’ “Or, you could come over here.”

“Now why would I do that?” He asks, leaning forward. You start as slow as possible. This was really the only idea you had to get him to break. Maybe if you threatened it, alluded to it enough, he would forget all about the money and the bet and jump on you.

“Maybe I’ve got something to sweeten the deal.” You trail a slow fingertip up your leg, past your knee and creeping it along your thigh. The fabric of your skirt scrunches up as you get higher, and Matt’s head straightens when he hears it.

“What are you doing?” Still, his voice is that low, gravelly sound that sends shivers up your spine, and you bite your lip to stop a smile before answering him.

“You know how wine makes me.” He knew very, very well, being the object of all your wine-induced fantasies. “I’m all hot, and if you aren’t going to help me…”

“Don’t.” He practically growls, and you let out a breathy laugh as you use your other hand to pull up your skirt completely. He may not be able to see you - but he knows exactly what your doing and how your doing it. He can hear the way you’re moving, the skips in your heartbeat as your finger trails higher and higher. The smell of you, how it changes as you get closer to the wetness between your thighs. He knows. And he looks like he hates it.

Jaw set, he grinds his teeth as you ignore his simple demand. It wasn’t that he didn’t like you touching yourself - he loved it; encouraged it, even, but he wanted to be there for it. Involved in it. If you ever needed that specific kind of relief, he wanted to be the one to give it to you. Even on the few times he’s been away, he’s sent you videos, called you and made sure he was the only one who pushed you over the edge. His name on your tongue as you came to the thought of him, to his words or his pictures. He always wants to be the one. And he always is.

He also has never not been able to touch you, because if you knew one thing, it’s that Matt Murdock was not a man that shared what was his. Especially not you, even with your own hand.

“Stop.” Matt manages to say, and you hum, relishing in the attention he’s focusing on you. You spread your legs a little wider, making yourself comfortable. “That’s cheating.”

“Nothin’ in the rules about touching myself, Matty.” You breathe, and then gasp as your finger brushes over your most sensitive spot, still covered by your lace underwear. “Unless you want to come over here and make me stop?”

“I know what you’re doing. You’ll have to try a little harder than that, sweetheart.” His face is set so hard, like how you’ve seen him in the court room. Focused, not betraying a single emotion on that sweet face of his. You were going to wipe that stoic look off his face one way or the other.

“I’m gonna take these off.” You narrate, hooking your fingertips under the seam of your underwear, and start to slowly pull them down your legs. As you get about halfway, the fabric bunching over your knees, you sigh sweetly. “Help me out, baby?”

He exhales in a short, sharp laugh. He wasn’t technically touching you, and you both knew it was the closest he could get without forfeiting. Leaning forward, he used one hand to grab the part of your underwear not touching any skin, and starts pulls them down. The soft material slips over your shins and calves, and you know he’s going slow on purpose. You lift your feet up so he can remove them fully, and you watch intently as his thumb brushes over his new prize.

“The purple ones?” He recognises the fabric and you moan out a ‘mhmm’. “My favourite.”

“I know.” You let your legs fall open again, and you could of sworn you heard a small sound come from him at the movement. A crack in the ice. It ignites your confidence, and makes you want to keep going. Keep pushing. “Wore them for you.”

“Such a good girl, all the time. You wouldn’t be this mean. Not to me, right?” The words were sweet as honey. You loved when he spoke to you like that - with praise and a little bit of authority. It made you squirm, but you had to hold it together a bit longer. String him out a little further. You just moan again, your hand finding it’s destination, one finger running up and down in between your legs, brushing over your clit lightly. Just how he teases you. You see his face change. “You’re going to regret this.”

“But it feels so good, Matty.” His grip on the back of the couch tightens.

“Better than me?” You shake your head vehemently, appeasing his ego and moaning a negative incase he can’t figure out your answer from the sound of your movement.

“Nothin’ better than you.”

“I know, baby. Why don’t you let me take care of you? Come just a little closer, and I’ll make it all better.” Your toes curl, and you start to make small, tight circles right over your soft centre, nerves alight and sending shocks up your entire body. His voice is all you’ll need to get there, you just need him to keep talking.

“I can’t. You know I can’t.” Your jaw falls open, no longer able to hold it together. “Just want you so bad.”

“If you want me so bad, come here.” His tone is a little more demanding. Frustrated. Stubborn. Another crack. You resist the urge to smile.

“Will you- will you tell me? What you’d do if you could touch me?” He sits up, unzipping his pants and shoving them off aggressively. His erection is impossible to ignore, and your mouth waters at the sight of it when he pulls his boxers down and lets himself free.

“That’s what you want? You want me to tell you all the things I’m going to do to you when you break?” You don’t miss the cockiness in his words, but you just moan again, too lost in the feeling of your fingers against your clit. “Fuck. Okay - okay, slow down.”

You listen, obedient even when defiant. He can hear the sounds of your hands against your arousal slow to about half the speed, and the orgasm that was growing in your stomach is now only being stoked, your legs jolting every time you brush against your clit.

“Good fucking girl. I always go slow first, don’t I?”

“Mhmm.” You moan out, and he chuckles. The fucker was laughing at you. Pay back was going to be a bitch. You were really about to give in, then. Not now, though. If he was stubborn, you were going to beat him at that game, too.

“That’s it. Nice and slow for me. Want you all warmed up when you make yourself cum on my cock.” Oh. God - maybe you couldn’t outlast him. It was those kinds of words, sung to you in a voice so low and clear it was impossible to listen to anything else, that was what did it for you. What undid you every time. Fuck being stubborn.

“Oh God, Matt. Please - c-can I go faster?” He wraps his hand around the base of his cock, and you are mesmerised as he pumps his hand just once, eyebrows furrowed.

“Yeah, sweetheart. You can go a little faster. Since you asked me so nice. I’d do it for you.” You speed up, the fire in your tummy getting more aggressive as soon as you indulge the feeling. He pumps up and down once more, and his face screws up a little. Not in pleasure entirely, but something a little uncomfortable. At first you think it might be the situation, but then you look down, and recognise his problem. Your submissive side instantly takes over, your brain only knowing to do what you knew he wants. What he needs.

“You want me to help you, baby?” Matt swallows as he feels you get closer, but nods just once, taking his hand off himself. You hover above him, making sure he can feel the heat of your breath kissing the sensitive head of his cock as you angle down closer. God - what you wouldn’t give to wrap your mouth around him right now. You miss the taste of him - the feel of his hand threaded through your hair, how he tangles himself into it to feel the most of you that he possibly can.

Slowly, you let your spit drip down his length, alleviating the uncomfortable feeling of his dry hand. He doesn’t move, just lets you take your time getting him as wet as you are. Matt’s chest rises and falls so fast you think he might pass out, and his head is hung back so far that you can’t see his face from this angle. You bet it’s screwed up, and his mouth is open a little. He always looks so good when he’s strung out.

You start to retreat, careful not to brush against him as you sit back on your half of the couch, satisfied with your work. His hand wraps around his cock as soon as he feels your body heat move away, and the pain once etched on his face is replaced by only pure pleasure. The sight of him has you quickly returning your hand to your pussy, matching the pace he sets.

“Thank you.” He croaks out, and you silently high five yourself for how fucking ruined he sounds.

“Your welcome.” You sound exactly the same.

“God - I want to fuck you so badly right now.” He sighs, moaning your name as he starts pumping his hand harder, hips bucking irregularly. “You know it’d feel so good.”

“It would. You always fuc-“ You cry out as a wave of pleasure suddenly hits your chest, the new rhythm he was setting on himself having you seeing stars. “Always feel so good. Miss having you inside me.”

“Come here. Now.” He says through his teeth, and you just keep moaning out his name. He tries a new approach. “Baby. Baby, please come here. I’ll -I’ll let you cum so many times you won’t remember your fucking name. Just give it up already. I know you want to.” A new crack of determination nuzzles its way through the overwhelming pleasure at his words. Maybe it’s because it’s not actually Matt touching you right now that you are able to form a thought, but his words have you speeding up. Let you come.

Asshole.

“Fuck, Matty. I’m so cl-close - I think I’m gonna-“

“Don’t you fucking dare.” He almost shouts, hand pumping furiously at his cock as he cuts you off. It almost looks like it hurts, and maybe it does a little, but the sounds of his hand moving against himself with your spit is making your brain go fuzzy. Trying your best to keep up with him, your back arches off the couch and you turn your head to the couch cushion.

“Can’t stop, feels too good I just-“ The burn in your arm is secondary to the release you were chasing, and it was so close. You knew what you needed. He had gone silent, because he knew, too. If he spoke, that would be it. He had such a hold on you that all it would take would be a few well placed words and you would crumble in front of him, and for the first time, it was the last thing he wanted.

“Slow down. Right now.” Your back was arching off the couch, and it was an effort not to stretch your legs out. Bunched up on your end, your eyes were glued to Matthew, his abs flexing hard and free hand still fisting the couch, white knuckled. “Do not fucking finish without me.”

The tone of his voice was so low and harsh, he wasn’t meaning to but he was only making it worse. Teetering on the edge, you couldn’t seem to stop yourself from talking.

“I wish you were touching me right now. Your hands feel so rough sometimes and I always think about it, think about how good it feels on me.” Your eyes were squeezed shut, the words flowing out of you from the darkest parts of your tipsy mind.

“Baby just-“ His hand gets faster, you can hear it, his restraint snapping little by little. “You just gotta come over here. Please.” You try to block out how hot he sounds begging for a glimpse of you, so you keep talking yourself through it, thinking of the things he would say if he was fucking you.

“I want you to fuck me through this couch, make me feel you for days like you always do. Want you to…” A gasping breath cuts you off, and it takes you a moment to regain your focus, the pleasure nearly cutting off your air supply making you hiccup.

“Finish your sentence. What do you want?” He was sitting straight up, leaning so close that if you moved and inch you’d feel him. You don’t think you’ve ever wanted him to touch you as badly as you wanted it right now - and that was fucking saying something.

You’d give it one more minute.

You think you can hold out for that long. One single minute of keeping yourself on the edge, one more minute to see if you can break Murdock like he breaks you every time. If you reached a minute and he wasn’t either buried between your legs or inside of you, you think you would implode.

“I- I want you to fuck me like you did when you came home last week. Leave a mark so I could feel it for days and-“

“That’s it. Keep fucking talking.” Your eyes open for a second and he’s kneeling, the hand on the top of the couch right next to your head. You hadn’t even heard him move, but now he was practically hanging over you, almost between your legs. Maybe your words effect him just like his do to you. “You sound so pretty. Keep talking for me, okay?”

“Matty, please just touch me. I need you to mmmmfuck- make me feel good.” He chokes out a desperate sound, and you shut your eyes again, no longer able to bare the sight above you if you couldn’t touch him.

“You need me?” You whine below him, nodding and making sure he knows just how bad he was right. It was a low blow, one you knew would make him even more desperate. Those simple words always got you what you wanted, no matter how long he had been playing with you. “Yeah, you fucking need me. Just need me to touch you so bad. Mark you up. Bet you’d cum as soon as I slid inside you, huh? Already so wet, I can fucking hear it.”

“Need you. Please.” You wheeze, and hear another choked sound leave his mouth. The couch shifts underneath you. Every nerve in your body was begging for him- you were begging for him, a string of pleases mixed with his name. If only either of you was less stubborn this stupid game would have been over long ago.

“You sound good like that. Begging for me. Keep going, tell me how bad you need it.”

“I’ll do whatever you want. Whate- Whatever you want. Just please. Please, please, please…” You sounded like you were having a tantrum, so close on the edge you were almost sobbing his name in ecstasy.

This was it. It probably hadn’t been a minute but you just couldn’t hold out any longer. Fuck the bet, fuck the stupid money. Nothing was worth not feeling him, having him just out of reach, you were so fucking close-

Matt’s hand brushes against your cheek, tucking a lock of your hair behind your ear, and his thumb wipes away a tear you hadn’t realised had fallen on your cheek. It was soft; gentle.

He kisses you softly, and his hand takes over the work, replacing your own and keeping that hard, tight pace on your clit. The feeling was earth shattering - the difference between your hand and his somehow night and day, and when you kiss him back, you realise he just lost. He lost, not so he could fuck you, but so he could kiss you.

“I’m right here, sweetheart. Hm?” He murmurs, the hot air of his breath fanning over your forehead as his hand works at you, and all you could do what sob his name. “Cum for me. I earnt it.”

With that, he slides himself inside of you, and everything turns white.

“Fuck - yes.” You moan out and your cumming as soon as he hits the deepest part of you. He’s suddenly everywhere - an arm under your arched back pulling you against his chest, his mouth on yours muffling your wrecked moans of pleasure, his cock buried inside of you, hitting you hard and fast and desperate; just how you feel.

He isn’t far behind you, giving you exactly what you wanted and finishing inside, so deep you’d feel him for fucking weeks after this. He was making noises you’d never heard from him before - nearly whining with how much he needed you, his whole body tense as you ran your hands over every part you could feel, while your other hand scrunched into his hair.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” Is all he was saying into your mouth, fucking you - using you to get through his high while simultaneously working you through yours. His lips moved to your neck, biting and kissing you all over. It was borderline territorial, and you were a whimpering mess underneath him, pinned to the couch taking whatever he wanted to give you and praying for more.

His hips eventually began to stutter in their pace, then slow to a stop- minutes or hours after he came. Time hardly registered, just him finally surrounding you like you’ve been wanting.

“Matt. Matt-“ His mouth was still attached to your neck, and you couldn’t imagine what you looked like, but it filled you with a sort of pride. You almost wanted him to keep going, but you wanted him to kiss you more, so you tugged on the strands of hair threaded in your hands. “Matt. You-“

“I know, baby. Don’t move.” The words echo through you, the command exactly the one you said to him earlier. He slowly slips out of you, never taking his hands off your body, and in one movement curls you up and pulls you completely to his side of the couch.

Finally, you can stretch out, your muscles like jelly as your legs tangle with his. Your head leans back to rest against his chest, which is still rising and falling too fast for normal. Admittedly, so is yours, as well as the occasional twitch in your legs from the pleasure dissipating through your body. Strong arms wrap around your chest and tummy, holding you tight, and he leans his head down to kiss your cheek.

“We are never doing that again.” He mumbles into the crook of your neck, and you laugh breathlessly.

“You didn’t like it?” He groans at your question.

“Baby, I fucking loved it, but I hated not being able to touch you.” He was whining now, and your hand snaked up, scratching lightly through his hair. You think he would of purred if he could. “You’re mine. Don’t like it when you try to come without me.”

“Mmm. You were too far away.” You agreed.

“Was hot, though.” You laugh again and he switches sides to kiss your other cheek, forcing you to look to the other side, where your eyes catch on the significant stack of money.

“I won.” You whisper into his ear, smiling, and he groans again.

“Stupid game.” He grumbles, teeth scraping lightly along the top of your shoulder, making you shiver. “Still made you cum.”

“We can always have a re-match.” He was still mumbling and groaning against you about how dumb the idea was, but you can feel his grin as you laugh.

“I got a different game in mind.” He whispers into your ear, and in the next moment you are in the air, being swept up and carried towards your shared bedroom.

“And what’s that?”

“How about I show you?” He kicks the door closed behind him, and lays you down on the bed slow and sweet before making true of his promise and destroying you from the inside out, just like he always did.

[koushou]

i love it smmmm omg. the megumi fix is amazing it’s more than i asked for ❤️❤️ bro 6,9k is a blessing you don’t understand how glad it made me it’s so worth the wait. tumblr is so dry when it comes to anime fics and especially w megumi thank you for feeding me something other than the crumbs this website gives me. i don’t want to be too annoying but whenever you’re free if you could do a pt 2 cause that ending omg. i love it sm and i can’t thank you enough ❤️

pairing : megumi x f!reader [fluff]

warnings : slight makeout scene idk HAHA nothing too intense though (also not proofread because i wanted to get this posted as soon as i finished it)

wc : 3.5k

a/n : ur too sweet omg and im FINALLY back from procrastinating your request again anon… (i really apologize i don’t mean to take so long pls forgive me D: ) i hope this is what you wanted!!

pt. 1 (you don’t really have to read pt 1 to understand this part but i do recommend it)

loud chatter echoes through the large modern dining hall located on the second floor of the hotel.

“i’m… so full…” a certain pink haired male burps for the nth time as he still continues to stuff food into his mouth. gojo laughs at itadori’s passion for the hotel food, while doing the same as he takes a large bite of a pancake.

you chuckle, taking a sip of your drink and leaning back in your cushioned chair, already finished with your 3rd plate of breakfast. i mean, who could blame you? hotel breakfast food just hits a different type of way.

“so, spill all the juicy events that happened last night, i wanna know!” nobara nudges you excitedly, her eyes twinkling as she pulls her chair closer to yours.

rolling your eyes, you look away from the ginger female and pretend to not have heard her. accidentally, you were now faced towards megumi, sitting on the opposite side of you. your eyes met for a brief moment before you quickly turned away, breaking the awkward interaction.

“aww— c’mon, y/n! please—“

“nothing happened at all! and don’t think i forgot the way you ignored my knocks on your door yesterday,” you shot her a glare, earning a sheepish laugh in return.

“but... in the same bed..?”

you were about to retort back when gojo stands up and claps his hand over his stomach, which now seemed just… a few sizes bigger.

“alright! have we all finished our food? god, when did hotel food get so good— anyway, it’s time to pack our things and head back home!” your constantly enthusiastic teacher exclaims, as a waiter comes to collect your plates.

after thanking the waiter and paying the bill (poor gojo-sensei’s wallet), you all head back upstairs to drive back home.

a thick silence hangs over your room as you and megumi collect your items, not wanting to bring up any events from last night. finally ready to head out, you walk towards the door to open it until another hand reaches the handle at the same time.

you retract your hand quickly, while the other hand lingers in the air above the knob.

“oh— sorry, you can go first!” you gulp, backing up a bit so megumi can exit first.

he pauses for a second, twisting the knob until the door pulls open. you expected him to walk out, but he makes his way to the other side of you instead, still holding the door open.

you look over at him with a questioning look, receiving a slight shrug and a hint of a smirk.

“ladies first.”

why was his stupid face so handsome?

you shook your head at his teasing expression, making your way out the door to the carpeted hallway, him following close behind.

the others were already at the lobby waiting, their conversation becoming clearer as you reach them.

“what’s taking them both so long? you don’t think they’re too busy… y’know…” nobara’s usual cheerful voice carries her words to your ears, making you roll your eyes and spook her from being.

“boo.”

“i’m just sayin- oh my go—“ she frantically turns around, breathing a sigh of relief upon seeing it was just you.

“you scared me!”

“what were we talking about?”

“nothing important! come on, we should get going!” nobara nudges gojo and itadori ahead, escaping you as she scurries out of the lobby.

you hear a yawn from behind you, a tuft of black hair moving past you as you suppress the urge to laugh at megumi’s already messy hairstyle, amplified by his morning bed hair.

finally, you were all seated back in gojo’s car, ready to drive back to the school so you all can head back to your own homes.

the ride back was full of gojo’s irritating voice singing along to songs playing from the car radio, itadori laughing along, and the rest of you too excited to leave the car.

“alright kids! we’re here, make sure to be safe on the way back home!”

gojo waves to all of you as you hop out of his car one by one, basking in the cool summer air for a few seconds.

“see you guys!”

itadori jogs away, heading in the direction of his own home, followed by megumi, then nobara, and lastly, you.

upon reaching your house, your mother welcomes you, asking about your day, if you had fun, and other typical mother questions.

you were telling her about your day when you suddenly recalled the hotel night events, and scurried away embarrassed upstairs to your room, leaving a very confused mom behind.

you flop down onto the bed, face down, wanting to get a good few minutes of quiet nap time in before your phone dings with a notification.

grunting, you pull your phone out from your pocket, swiping across the screen to check the message.

surprisingly, it was from megumi, eyebrows suspiciously raising as you open the text message from him. you two rarely texted unless it was about school or business-related, so you couldn’t think of anything he would need from you right now.

megumi : Hey.

megumi : I have your hair tie with me. You probably left it in my bag or something.

megumi : I’m coming over in 5 minutes.

you sat up abruptly, rereading his messages to make sure your eyes weren’t playing tricks on you.

you had been so caught up with his prior messages that you failed to register that he said he was going to be at your house in… 5 minutes.

hurriedly, you swiped to see what time he had sent that last message. 12:34 AM.

your eyes moved to the top of your phone screen, reading the current time. 12:37 AM.

almost falling out of bed scrambling to your room mirror, you checked your appearance to make sure you looked fine and your hair wasn’t messy and-

you paused.

“why am i so concerned about how i look? why do i care about this?”

you slapped your face with both hands, bringing yourself back to reality when you were interrupted again, but this time by your doorbell ringing from downstairs.

making your way out of your room, you saw that your mom had already opened the door with a familiar tall figure standing in the doorway.

“oh! megumi, it’s been a while!” your mom lets megumi in with a smile, already going to the kitchen to make him some tea.

he bows politely, sitting down on the couch, now changed into a loose white t-shirt with black shorts.

“uh- theres no need to make me tea, i won’t be here for too long—“

“nonsense! you can even stay for lunch, dear megumi! i just have to prepare the last dish and—“

you finally clear your throat, standing at the middle of the stairs, catching both of their attention.

“oh, y/n! i have to go out to the grocery store for some ingredients, take care of our guest megumi, alright?” she places two cups of tea on the table in front of megumi, grabbing her keys to head out.

“wait, mom—“

she sends you a wink by the door, already outside before you can finish your sentence.

you sigh in defeat, sitting across from megumi on the other couch.

“here.”

megumi pulls out a black hair tie from his pocket, almost identical to the one currently around your wrist.

you raise your eyebrows in suspicion at the hair tie. “but i only have one? and i didn’t bring any extra yesterday..?” you motion to your own arm.

he looks back and forth between your wrist and the one he had in his hand, scratching his head in confusion.

“it was in our hotel room, so i assumed it was yours.” he shrugs, placing it on the table. “but if it isn’t, i can just throw it away.”

you hum, taking a sip of the tea your mom prepared as he does the same, cringing as the still hot tea burns his tongue.

“pfft…”

he glares at you, placing the cup down as his eyes scan around your living room, taking in the decorations.

“i’ll just keep it then, it seems new.” you take the forgotten hair tie on the table, and wear it around your wrist, now decorated with two black hair ties.

he nods, sitting back against the couch, silence falling between you both.

a question suddenly popped up in your mind, your mouth moving faster than your brain.

“you came all the way here… just to give me a hair tie?”

the question seems to set him a little nervous, clearing his throat and avoiding eye contact as he fidgets in his seat.

“well— i figured i’d return it to you before i forgot,” he shrugs, reaching out to take another sip of his tea before pulling back quickly again at the heat.

you nod slowly, still unconvinced with his answer. who goes all the way to someone’s house to return a hair tie?

“okay then, see you on monday?” you get up, ready to send him back off.

his head snaps up, still not moving in his seat as he opens his mouth slowly, as if unsure of how to respond.

“um- i thought your mom said i could stay…for lunch…?”

he averts his eyes, pink dusting his pale cheeks as he looks away. your mouth forms into an ‘o’ shape as you recall your mom’s words and those were - in fact what she had said.

it wasn’t that you were against him staying for lunch, but you two weren’t even friends or remotely close at that. rivals would even suit you both better than friends.

“but if you want i can, uh, leave now,” he starts to stand, looking uncomfortable in his position across from you.

it was then that you remembered megumi’s background, that his mother had left early at birth, plus his father wasn’t exactly present.

you couldn’t imagine living without your parents, and how lonely he must be without true family.

“no! i mean, that’s not what i meant, you can stay.” you sputter out before he gets the wrong idea.

his eyes seem to light up at your words, nodding before sitting back down on his previous spot on the couch.

you glance over at the time on your phone, it had been around 7 minutes after your mom had left.

the tension was thick in the room, and just when you thought you were about to explode from the awkwardness, he finally breaks the silence.

“do you… play that?”

you turn to where his eyes are placed on, seeing your black xbox console laying on top of a cabinet, having been untouched for a while.

“oh that? yeah, occasionally, why?”

you hear a snicker from beside you, snapping your head to find his lips curled into a teasing grin.

“oh, i just didn’t think a nerd like you would play games.”

you raise your eyebrows at his words. “you sure about that? it doesn’t seem like you’re very good at games either, megumi.” you make sure to stretch out each three syllables of his name to tease him further.

he huffs while leaning back, still maintaining intense eye contact with you, almost challenging each other to say something back.

“how about this, whoever wins against the other gets to make them do whatever they want. no matter what it is.” he nods over to the console, tilting his head as he waits for your response.

you chuckle, standing up to take the console, fiddling with it for a moment before turning back to him.

“alright, just don’t cry when you lose too much, okay?”

he shrugs, smirking as he looks around the living room for the other console, making you remember something.

“oh, the other console plus a TV is in my room, wanna just play there?”

he stiffens suddenly, before nodding slowly and following you upstairs to your room.

reaching the door, you suddenly stop, making megumi grunt and come to a stop, almost crashing into you.

“uh - wait here.”

you open the door just enough to slip inside, quickly gathering some of your belongings and cleaning as much as you could, to at least make your room seem presentable.

“okay!” you open the door for megumi, who makes no move to enter at first.

“...”

“you can come in.”

“... is this okay?”

you cock your head, not understanding his question.

“your mom isn’t home.”

“...so?”

“we’re alone.”

“and?”

“i’m… going into your room.”

“what is your point?” you began to grow frustrated at this conversation. then, it hit you all of a sudden.

“ahh, megumi? have you never been in a girl’s room alone before?” you snicker, shaking your head from laughter.

he starts to protest, before quickly closing his mouth and finally entering your room.

you connect the two consoles into your TV in your room, sitting down on the edge of your bed as you load up the games on the screen.

“you can sit here if you want,” you pat the empty spot next to you, to which he carefully sits down on, taking one console from your hand.

“ready?”

he nods, as you start the game.

-- --

“what--?!”

you throw your hands up in frustration, groaning as you flop backwards on the bed.

“i told you, you can’t beat me.” megumi chuckles, dodging a stuffed bear you threw in his direction.

you huffed, sitting back up, determined to beat him at least once.

“one last rematch!”

he lets out a laugh, a rare one that you think you might just never forget, and starts the game again.

after a few minutes of intense clicking, yelling and laughing, you let out a proud shout, the word victory flashing across your screen.

you pick up another stuffed animal from your bed and toss it straight at megumi’s face, celebrating as he lets out an ‘oof’ and glare back at you.

“but i still won around, 7 times, so i get to make you do something- oof-” he stumbles back again from another stuffed animal to the face.

“hmm? i don’t know what you’re talking about--” you pretend to not have heard him before your vision goes momentarily black from a soft object hitting your face, a pink bear landing in your lap.

“hey!”

“what, you keep throwing them at me!”

“fine…”

“hey, why are you getting so close--!”

you tackle megumi backwards onto the bed, throwing your pillows at his face -- not very gently -- as he tries to shield his arms in vain.

“ahh—! okay, okay, i’m sorry, stop it—“ he huffs as you finally stops your attack, his dark blue orbs looking up into yours.

you only now noticed your close proximity, quickly sitting back up to create some distance between the both of you. he clears his throat, fiddling with one of your pillows.

“well, a loss is a loss, what do i have to do?” you sigh, admitting your defeat.

“hmm…” he seems to be lost in deep thought, probably trying to find the worst thing he can make you do.

after a few silent, intense seconds, he finally speaks.

“are you… free tomorrow?”

you turn to him, giving him a questioning look at his strange question. he only stares back at you in response, awaiting your answer.

“um… yeah, i’m free the whole day, why do you as-“

“come watch a movie with me tomorrow.” he blurts out quickly, not even letting you finish your sentence.

you gape at him, still processing his words, unsure if you had heard wrong.

“... sorry?”

his face was reddenning by the second, yet his eyes remained firmly on yours the whole time.

“let’s go watch the new movie in the theater. i heard it’s quite popular already despite releasing only last week.”

“oh… okay, i can ask nobara if she wants to com-“

“don’t!” he says a little too loudly, clearing his throat after as he regains his composure.

“i mean, i- just, you.”

“just.. us?”

he nods.

silence fell again between the two of you, unsure if he was asking you what you thought he was asking you. you decide to test the waters cautiously.

“man.. it’s almost like you’re asking me out on a date, megumi?” you tease lightly, expecting a ‘tch’ or an, ‘as if’.

“so what if i am?”

now that was an answer you weren’t expecting.

“you’re.. joking, right?”

megumi sighs, moving closer until his body was mere centimeters away from yours.

“i’m serious.”

“do you... like me or something?”

he stares at you blankly. “would i ask you on a date if i didn’t have feelings for you, idiot?”

you only just realize how stupid your question sounded, trying to find a response until he reaches up to cup your cheek with one hand.

they felt soft, yet slightly gruff from constant training and fighting, large enough to cover one half of your face. they were warm, slightly trembling probably from nervousness, yet made you wish he’d never take it off.

“it’s okay if you don’t want to. we can forget this ever happened.” his own cheeks turning slightly pink, yours probably even worse as the space between your faces closed in slowly.

“but i don't think i can do this anymore, so just let me be a little selfish this once, okay?”

barely registering his words before he moves in to kiss you, soft lips moving against the other as his hand tightens against the side of your cheek. you barely register your own actions anymore, hands reaching up to tangle themselves in his hair, moving down to his neck, and finally finding home cupped around his face.

he groans against your lips, pressing you down until he was now hovering above you, never breaking the kiss even once in the process. you lost track of how long you both had been making out in your bed before you hear the front door open from downstairs.

frantically, the both of you separated in fear of your mom catching you in the act, catching your breaths while still processing what just happened.

you hear shuffling from downstairs, standing up to escape megumi before you were pulled back into a warm chest.

“wait—“ his arms wrap around you to trap you from leaving his grasp, your eyes looking everywhere but his, and suddenly your wall was the most interesting thing in sight.

“are we… really going to pretend that didn’t happen?” you finally gather the courage to look him in the face, almost melting at the soft pout set on his (now slightly redder than before) lips.

“ilikeyoutoo.” you get out quickly before you lose the chance to say it again.

he stiffens against you, eyes lighting up almost like an excited puppy receiving treats. “you like me? i didn’t hear you, so can you say it again?”

you huff, trying to wriggle your way out of his arms, only resulting in him pulling you closer to sit on his lap. he presses his forehead to yours, chuckling at your futile attempt to escape.

“i said— i like you—!” you ram your head into his, making him groan in pain, loosening his hold on you. the perfect chance for escape.

you saw the opportunity, dashing to the door, twisting the knob, almost getting it open until—

“nope,” megumi’s hand stops the door in time, instead twisting you around until your back was now flat against the wood, both of his palms placed beside your head.

“y/n? megumi?” your mom’s voice calls from downstairs, but all you could hear was your heartbeat thumping loudly in your chest.

“megumi! move, my mom’s home,” you place your hands on his chest, trying to push him away to no avail.

he grabs your pushing hand and places it on the left side of his chest, letting you feel the soft but fast thumping of his heart, almost matching the pace of your own.

“this is all your fault. you’re not gonna take responsibility for it?” he inches closer to your burning face, making you huff and grab his face.

you press your lips to his, feeling him immediately return the kiss, but you pull away after a few seconds, leaving him still trying to kiss you again.

“nope, my mom’s home, and i’m hungry.”

you open the door, seeing your mom begin to set the table with plates of food downstairs. you look back at megumi, who still looked sad after getting his kiss cut short.

sighing, you take his hand in yours, intertwining your fingers together before pulling him down the stairs.

“come on, it’s time for lunch. you’ll get more later.”

you feel him perk up, giving your hand a squeeze as he follows close behind.

you steal a glance at your wrist, still wearing both the hair ties. good thing he hadn’t noticed you stuffing one into his bag this morning.

[miekasa]

daylight’s wasting (you better kiss me)

↯ pairing: eren jaeger x reader

↯ genre and warnings: college au, fluff, someone please be gentle with this boy i’m begging you, jean and eren pretending they don’t give a fuck about each other whilst actually being best bros for the win

↯ word count: 2k

↯ summary: based off of that reddit post about some guy talking about his girlfriend washing his hair for the first time + hoping it fills a request for someone asking for reader playing with eren’s hair for the first time :’)

↯ notes: this is cross-posted and edited slightly from another blog in a completely separate fandom, so if you’ve seen it before, no you didn’t </2

Jean can’t say that he immediately noticed a pep in Eren’s step when the green-eyed boy met him in the library, but what he does notice is the stupid, dopey looking grin and starry-eyed gaze in his eyes that he’s sporting while he’s not doing his part for their project. And while Jean considers himself relatively attractive, he knows for sure Eren isn’t shy about making it known that he doesn’t; so the brunette doubts the literal heart eyes Eren has are for him.

“Eren? Eren, bro, are you good?” Jean calls, a dark eyebrow raised above his left eye. Eren barely registers the calls of his name, and it takes Jean waving his hands in front of the shorter’s face for him to wake from his trance, looking up at Jean with that same, longing smile (that’s, admittedly, starting to creep him the fuck out).

“Yeah,” Eren sighs, something reminiscent of a lovelorn cartoon prince, as he rests his elbow atop his notebook and his chin the palm of his hand, “I’m good.”

Jean looks at him, skeptical and confused. He shifts in his seat, but Eren’s eyes don’t follow—he just stares ahead, lost in thought and completely unaware of everything around him. He looks like a lovesick little bitch if you ask Jean. Or completely sloshed.

Slowly, Jean leads forward, eyebrows pinched, looking for streaks of red in Eren’s eyes, “Are you stoned right now?”

“What?” Eren pulls back, almost offended, “No, I’m not high—Jean, what the fuck?”

Jean simply shrugs, leaning back into his seat, “I dunno. Yesterday you were so stressed about your acrobatic salt cycle samples—”

“—Acetylsalicylic acid. It’s basically Asprin, and I wasn’t stressed, they just weren’t crystallizing the they way they’re supposed to—”

“I don’t fucking care. But now you look mellow as hell,” Jean cuts him off, “Just thought maybe you rolled a good one before coming here or something. Not that I’m judging, of course. But you’re much more of a lightweight than you think, so try not to go—”

“‘M not a fucking lightweight,” Eren groans, “You and Reiner are just heavy bodied.”

“Just admit you can’t hold your shit, Jaeger.”

“I’m not admitting shit. Mikasa makes strong drinks, that’s all.”

Jean grits his teeth at Eren’s stubborn antics, but lets it go. It’s not like the conversation was going anywhere, anyways. “If you’re not baked, then what’s got your head in the clouds?”

Eren shifts in his seat now, pulling his hand off the table, and into his lap. Jean’s suspicious eyebrow is quirked again, and that slightly creeped-out feeling is back when he spots Eren’s ears going red.

Jesus Christ, he just asked a simple question.

“Not that I care,” Jean tacks on, feigning disinterest, “But if it’s gonna keep you from doing your half of the project, just spill it already so we can get this shit over with.”

Eren rolls his eyes, but that blush is still there. He looks like he contemplates waving it off for a minute, before he sighs. “(Y/N) and I showered together yesterday,” he finally blurts.

Jean blinks. “Oh. So you got laid—”

“—No, no, it wasn’t like that!” Eren corrects him, the red on his ears spreading to his cheeks slowly, with every word that spills out of his mouth. Eren stutters, a hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck, “She just… She washed my hair.”

Eren sighs, flustered and frustrated, and annoyed that he looks like this in front of Jean’s horse-faced ass of all people; but he knows, that no matter how much shit Jean talks, he can rely on him. For better or (often times) for worse.

And Jean, for as hotheaded as he can get, and for as much as Eren annoys the shit of out him, knows how to read a room; and in this moment, he can see that Eren is actually coming to him with genuine emotions, other than masked anger and abrasiveness. So, the both of them concede; pull back from their usual pointed commentary, and listen to what the other has to say. 

“Ah,” Jean comments, lamely; an embarrassed blush of his own growing on his face at his stupidity. The two sit in silence for a moment, before Jean speaks up again, “It’s, uh… It’s nice, right?”

Eren’s eyes snap to him, wide. He almost completely forgot that Jean’s in a committed relationship, too. The two don’t often go to each other for relationship advice, or… relationship venting, but Eren makes a mental note that maybe, just maybe, he should.  

“Yeah,” Eren admits, “I don’t, uh, I don’t know how to explain it. It was just—”

“Relaxing?”

“Yeah. Like all the bullshit from school just melted away all of a sudden,” Eren confesses, “All she fucking did was wash my hair and hum for, like, five minutes, but I feel like… I don’t know. Good.”

Jean hums, acknowledging Eren’s words and mulling them over. “Loved,” he chimes in with an awkward cough, “Pretty sure that’s the word you’re looking for, Jaeger.”

Eren chokes on air, his eyes darting around the room. So, yeah, it’s still a little awkward, talking with Jean of all people about his relationship, and love, and all that gushy stuff; but, even Eren can admit, it’s comforting to know that someone knows what he’s feeling—even if that someone is Jean.

“You should tell her. Girls like that shit, when you tell em what you’re thinking, you know?” Jean comments, picking up his pen to resume scribbling in his notebook. He sounds nonchalant, but from the redness on his face, Eren can tell he’s just as flustered, and probably thinking about his own girlfriend. “Besides, you’ve been together for a long ass time now. Don’t know what you’re waiting for at this point.”

“Yeah,” Eren coughs, pretending to resume his own homework, “Yeah, I think I will.”

“Good,” Jean nods, “Now will you fucking paste your paragraph in the Google Doc so I can rewrite it and make it coherent.”

“Fuck you, it’s coherent as is.”

“As if. I’ve read your shit before, and it sounds like it was written by six year old on meth. You science majors can’t write to save your life.”

“Tough talk from someone who can’t do basic addition.”

“Derivatives and shit aren’t basic addition, they were created by a man who died a virgin. Tells me everything I need to know about them and you.”

Three days later, Eren finds himself alone in your off-campus apartment, laying on your bed, stomach to the mattress, while he tries to convince himself to study for his upcoming biology exam. He finds looking around your room to be much more interesting, though, and takes the time to notice things he hadn’t before.

There’s a small strip of images of the two of your in a clear mason jar on your nightstand���the newest addition to your collection—from the photo booth at the ice-skating rink you went to last week. Eren doesn’t know why you insist on going to every photo booth you come across, but who is he to deny you the pictures.

When he looks to your closet, he isn’t surprised to see two of his hoodies, one of his warm-up soccer uniforms, and last season’s hockey jersey hanging up. What does surprise him, is the way they’re all hung up next to each other, like they have their own little section amongst your clothing; like they were reserved, special almost. He bets they’re all probably washed and clean, too; because you take care of his things like that.

He thinks about how he has a few pairs of sweatpants and pajamas—hell, even a pair of slacks and a button-down from one of your fancier dates—all tucked away in his very own drawer in your dresser. The bucket hats thats you claim are oh-so ugly still have their own place in your room, hanging next to your belts. Even his psychology textbook sits on your desk, clearly set aside for him and taken care of, but still integrated amongst your other belongings. 

You seem to be the only person who thinks Eren and all his baggage can have a place in your life. You seem to always have space for things to fit in, no matter how stupid, or ugly, or tattered they are; no matter how emotional, or lost, or impulsive he is. Nothing is out of place here, himself included. 

Lost in his thoughts, Eren doesn’t register the sound of your front door opening, or your footsteps growing louder. In fact, he doesn’t register that you’re home at all, until you come padding into your bedroom, shaking your backpack off of your shoulders and setting it next to his on the ground.

“Hey, baby,” you greet him, almost offhandedly, as you place your coffee down on your desk. He doesn’t mind—actually the element of practiced casualness in your tone brings a kind of warmth to him, and makes his stomach flutter. 

“Hey,” he smiles, a stupidly fond look in his eye as his watched you shimmy your jacket off of your shoulders. 

Eren sits himself upwards, shifting so that his long legs dangle off the edge of your bed as he watching your silhouette move throughout your bedroom. When you’re finished removing all your layers and jewelry, you finally look to him, greeting him a second time as you walk towards him and your bed.

Eren cages you in when you reach him, his ankles wrapped on top of each other as he secures you standing between his legs. He wraps his arms loosely around your waist, while your fingers crawl up the nape of his neck.

“Your hair’s dry,” you hum, your fingers raking through his brown locks as if to make your point, “You didn’t shower yet?”

Eren shakes his head lightly, craning his neck forwards to tuck the cold tip of his nose into your collar. He holds you a little tighter when you smooth his hair down, one of your hands resting against the back of his neck, and lightly scraping at the hairs near his nape.

“How come?” you question innocently, “I thought your classes ended a few hours ago—did your lab go late again? You should tell your TA you have a life outside of trying to culture bacteria in a dish, you know.”

Eren chuckles lightly, but feels the concern in your voice tug heavily at his heart strings. You seem to really hate his lab TA.

“Wasn’t him this time,” Eren mumbles against your skin, “Was waiting for you.”

“Yeah? That gonna be a regular thing, now?”

“Wouldn’t mind,” Eren confesses, words barely audible as he buries his face into your neck. He tries tickle you with his eyelashes, shift the heat towards you, but you move out of reach too quickly; your hands on his shoulders, forcing him to sit upright.

He has to look up you, just slightly, and he hopes he doesn’t look like a complete blushing idiot. If he does, you don’t seem to mind, if the way you cup his face between your hands is any indication.

“Well then, come on. I bought two new loofahs yesterday.”

Eren follows you to the bathroom with a smile, borderline giggling with excitement all the way to the shower. When it comes down to it, he relishes in the feeling of your fingertips against his scalp, suds of shampoo cascading down his neck as you find amusement in coiling his hair into a bubbly mohawk.

It’s so mundane, so simple, yet overwhelmingly intimate the way you’re taking care of him—the way you always take care of him. It fills Eren to the brim with emotions he can’t even begin to convey with words.

And when you’ve had you’re fun, and made sure his hair is throughly clean and smells like apples, you take your body wash on the ball of his (his! his very own!) loofah, and scrub away at his back, down his shoulders, across his torso; and Eren can’t stop the tears from falling.

He realizes his must look bizzare, to be standing the middle of your shower, crying like a baby with soap and suds all over his body, but he can’t help himself.

“Eren? Baby, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, nothing,” he assures you, hiccuping between his words and sniffling away any more tears that threaten to fall. You don’t seem convinced, and once again, Eren feels his heart swell at just the sheer thought at you’d hold even an ounce of concern for him the way you do.

“You’re crying, Eren,” you point out, voice soft, but clearly concerned, as you reach your hands up to cup his face again, “Did I hurt you? What’s wr—”

Eren cuts you off by wrapping you in a hug, hoping—praying—you know that you could never hurt him. The two of you spend nearly five whole minutes like that, your arms wrapped around each other’s middles, with warm water pouring over your naked skin. Eren can feel you pressing shallow kisses into his chest, and he feels his heart physically swell every time your lips make contact with his skin.

It’s on the fifth, quiet press of your lips that Eren knows he can’t hold it in anymore; pulls away from your embrace to look you in your eyes.

“I love you,” he finally confesses, with wet hair stuck to his forehead, and teary eyes. It’s hardly a picture perfect moment, but Eren can’t bring himself to care; he needs you to know.

But, of course, you already did. “I know, Eren,” you say with a smile, kissing his chin, and then on the tips of your toes, his lips, “And I love you more.”

[sesamestreep]

AND bc i know u love a good rogue one, rogue one crew and “booties” perhaps???!!

went ahead and posted this on AO3 as well, since it got well out of hand.... thanks for waiting six months for this, phil! <3

Jyn is already back in their quarters, cleaned up from their mission and wearing fresh clothes, by the time that Cassian is finished with his debrief with Draven. He returns to find her sprawled out on their bed with her wet hair that she hasn't even bothered to comb out soaking into the pillow beneath her head and her sleep shirt folded up to her ribs so she can rest her hands on her bare stomach. She's not showing yet, not even a little, which is odd mostly because Jyn feels so different already. It's unnerving to know something is happening inside of her body and have no external sign of it, so she's taken to resting in this position as a means of coping with that weirdness.

Cassian has seen this before, of course, but he still raises his eyebrows at the sight of her, a gesture she knows to mean he's worried by her behavior but trying to act casual about it. There's a whole scale of nervous Cassian gestures she's become an expert in and, if she's reading things correctly, this one is thankfully on the milder end of it.

"Anything?" He asks, as he hangs his jacket on a hook by the door.

"No, nothing," she replies, as she watches him take off his boots and line them up neatly against the wall. He pauses a moment to arrange hers—flung off haphazardly as soon as she got home and ultimately left wherever they happened to land—in order next to them and she feels a rush of affection for him. He is so full of little kindnesses and considerations like that; she doesn't know what she did to deserve him.

"Oh."

"I'm not worried," Jyn adds. "The medical droid said we won't feel any movement or kicking until at least the second trimester."

"Okay."

"Yeah?"

Cassian sighs as he flops down next to her on the bed. "If you're not worried, I'm not worried."

She smiles. "You're always worried."

"Well, that's...true, I guess. But I'm not worried about this, at the moment."

"What are you worried about, then?"

"The threat that the Empire poses to freedom for all peoples and planets across the Galaxy, of course," he says, without a moment's hesitation.

Jyn groans. "Cassian..."

That just makes him laugh, unfortunately. When she tries to shove him away, though, he sobers immediately. "We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, you know," he says, carefully.

"I'm fine," she says, more quickly than anyone who's ever actually been fine has ever said those words, so she pauses and actually takes a moment to think about it before she continues. "You said they needed to know and I agreed. And you said that they needed to hear it from us, before I started showing or news got around the base, and I also agreed with that.”

When Cassian doesn’t say anything in response, she adds, “So we told them. And it was fine. Was I maybe expecting more of a reaction from everyone? Sure. But it doesn't really matter."

This last part of her speech would probably be more believable if it wasn’t also the moment she bursts into tears. There’s plenty of reasons she can think of that she’s losing it now—she’s coming off three long weeks on a difficult mission in one of the Empire’s last strongholds with little sleep and zero privacy, for starters—but she knows it’s really her stupid hormones that should shoulder most of the blame.

For the record, she officially hates this part of pregnancy, though that isn’t saying much. There aren’t a lot of parts she does like, to be perfectly honest, and she hasn’t done a great job of hiding that fact from Cassian. He wouldn’t want her to, she knows, but she can also tell it makes him feel guilty, that he wants this to be a magical, wonderful time for her, rather than uncomfortable and strange. She keeps assuring him that she’s going to love the actual kid when it gets here, that she doesn’t have to love being pregnant just as long as she loves being someone’s mother, but it’s been hard for both of them in different ways.

She feels Cassian wrap his arms around her middle and haul her in close to his side and she remembers that this is the thing they’re good at. It wasn’t easy in the beginning—not with the way either of them grew up—but somehow, over the years, they’ve managed to find a place in between their disparate experiences where they can make a home together, a place where they’re always safe. In moments like this, when it’s just the two of them together in this world of their own, she doesn’t worry at all about their future. So long as this baby is half-Cassian, she is going to love it beyond belief. It’s going to be so easy.

She burrows even further into his embrace and he breathes in deeply, like he’s trying to catch the scent of her soap, and then exhales in a way that makes her think he was still holding onto a lot of tension from their mission. She shamelessly exploits the fact that she’s carrying his child and therefore he can’t begrudge her anything by wiping her nose on his shirt. He makes an exaggeratedly disgusted face at her in return, which makes her laugh. If her laughter sounds a little damp, it doesn’t really matter; she’s stopped crying, at least.

“It’s okay if it hurt your feelings, you know,” Cassian says, gently, after they’ve been quiet a moment.

“What?”

“The crew’s reaction to our news. It’s okay if you imagined it going differently.”

Jyn thinks about this, really and truly, because she’s not sure what she imagined. She and Cassian had agreed to make their announcement to the crew when they returned to base after their mission. It had felt important that everyone hear it from them, rather than through the Alliance rumor mill, especially since discretion has proven to be a difficult concept to impress on medical droids and they’ve become somewhat notorious for blurting out sensitive information about patients to anyone with the appropriate security clearance. Still, she hadn’t bothered to let her imagination run wild with different scenarios of how the crew would take the news of her pregnancy. She barely knows how to feel about it herself most days, let alone trying to imagine what other people will think.

But, obviously these aren’t just any other people. The Rogue One crew is basically a family at this point and, whether she likes it or not, she cares what they think. With the clarity of hindsight, she now realizes she’d wanted them to be happy about it, which just made their nonplussed reactions that much more difficult to handle. Everyone had taken the news in much the same way they’d probably have responded to an announcement that they needed to land the ship in a different dock. It had mostly been blank stares and a few nods of understanding, and then everyone had gone back to their assigned tasks, eager to wrap up the mission and get some rest. Bodhi had clapped her on the shoulder as he passed by and murmured his congratulations to the both of them, but that was as effusive as the reactions got.

Jyn probably would have stood there gobsmacked in the middle of the cargo hold for another twenty minutes if Cassian hadn’t put his hand on her back and given her a pointed look that said they could talk about this later. He knows her well enough to understand the last place she’d like to fall apart is on a mission, in front of the crew that trusts and relies on her. She’d been thankful for him, then, just as she is now. Sometimes it can drive her crazy how well he knows her, that he can often tell how she’s feeling before she’s even figured it out for herself, but mostly it feels like a gift, to have someone like that in her life. Thanks to him, they’d been able to finish out the mission without issue and, as soon as they were back on base, Cassian had dismissed everyone else and dragged K2 off with him to report to Draven, giving Jyn the opportunity to return to their quarters and untangle the knot of emotions she was feeling in peace.

“Did it bother you?” She asks him, coming back to the present. She hasn’t fully processed her feelings on the matter and, as crazy as it might sound, sometimes she has an easier time identifying her own emotions once she hears him talk about his.

“I was...surprised, I guess,” Cassian says, choosing his words carefully as always. “I thought everyone would have more to say on the matter.”

Jyn nods emphatically, glad that they can agree on this. “That’s what I thought too! Even if they didn’t approve, I thought at least they’d have something to say about it. I mean, we’re having a baby. That’s huge! But nobody said anything at all.”

“You were disappointed.”

“A little. I guess," she says, with a small shrug. "Maybe we shouldn’t have told them. Maybe they don’t care.”

Cassian bumps his nose against her shoulder, in what she takes as a reassuring gesture. “I’m sure that’s not it.”

“I don’t know.”

They’re quiet for a moment before Cassian asks, “Do you remember when you told me about the baby?”

Jyn shifts to look at him, baffled by the question. “Of course I do,” she says. “For one thing, it wasn’t that long ago and for another, it was kind of an important moment.”

He plants a kiss on her shoulder and ignores the belligerence in her voice. “You thought I wasn’t happy about it because I didn’t react much at first.”

“I already said I remember. What’s your point?”

“If you remember that, then you also remember what I told you. That I wanted to make sure you were happy about it before I showed you that I was. Because if you weren’t happy...”

“There was no way you could be,” Jyn finishes for him. She closes her eyes. “I know. You’re a wonderful man.”

“That wasn’t my point.”

“Well, it’s mine.”

“Nevertheless, what I’m saying is that the others might be doing the same thing for you.”

“I don’t follow.”

Cassian’s arms tighten around her middle. “They love you, Jyn,” he says urgently. “They want you to be happy as much as I do. I think they’re waiting on your reaction before they get excited for us.”

Jyn turns in his embrace so she can look him in the eye. “I gave them my reaction already, Cassian! I mean, didn’t I seem happy when I told them?”

“You gave them more of a mission briefing than a reaction, I think,” he says with a soft smile that she knows is meant to stop her from getting defensive. “‘In approximately six months, Cassian and I will have a baby,’” he quotes, “‘We expect this to impact this team in the following ways…’”

She buries her face in his chest with a groan. “Why did you let me do the talking this time?” She asks miserably. “You’re the one with social skills!”

“That is entirely debatable,” Cassian replies. “And I let you do the talking because you insisted.”

“I thought it was because you were afraid Baze and Chirrut would kick your ass for getting me pregnant.”

“That was also a factor, yes.”

Jyn sighs, exasperated. “Well, what are we going to do now?”

After a moment’s consideration, Cassian picks up a lock of her hair and twists it around his finger. “I was going to get cleaned up and ready for bed, unless you had other ideas...”

“I meant, what are we going to do about the crew?” She asks, even as she feels herself blush.

“They’ll come around, Jyn. Once they see how happy we are about the baby, they’ll be right there with us.”

“You think so?”

“I know it,” he says, leaning in to kiss her forehead. “Let’s not waste precious time worrying about this.”

“Not when there’s so many other things to worry about.”

Cassian laughs and she feels it rumble through his chest underneath her ear. “Exactly.”

*

It's only a few weeks later when Cassian comes to find her after a meeting with Draven to tell her that they've got another mission.

"We do?" She asks, surprised. She’s where she always is these days when there isn’t work to be done: curled up on their bed. It turns out growing your own offspring is pretty exhausting.

"Yes."

"You're sure Draven is okay with me going on missions still?"

"Draven is still on the fence about you joining the Alliance in the first place," Cassian jokes, "but I think in this case, he's going to get as much work out of you as he possibly can, right up until the moment you physically can't go on missions anymore."

Jyn acknowledges this with a snort of derision. Even after years of working for him, General Draven still hasn't warmed up to her much. She doesn't know, or particularly care, what he thinks about her pregnancy but she doesn't imagine he's thrilled to have two of his operatives out of commission for something as trivial as having a baby, so she mostly lets Cassian deal with him these days. Cassian is his favorite, anyway, so she doesn't feel that bad about it.

"This will probably be your last one for a while, though," Cassian says, delicately, when she doesn't respond to his teasing.

“I know,” she says. “‘All beings capable of gestation are entitled to work in any capacity or department without reduction of duties or hours until they surpass 67% of their gestational period, at which point their superior officer will reduce their workload accordingly,’” she adds, quoting the administrator who’d been sent to explain the Alliance’s parental rights policies to her after the medical droid submitted the paperwork from her physical, including the blood work that had confirmed her pregnancy.

It’s unlikely, though not impossible, that this mission will stretch into her third trimester, so it should be fine, but anything after this would certainly be too risky. Jyn had honestly assumed that Draven would pull her from active duty sooner rather than later. Even though she’s still got time before her last trimester, she keeps expecting to hear that she’s been reassigned to administrative duties. She’s heard that’s the most common assignment for anyone who gets pregnant and she's prepared for it to happen to her. She and Cassian have already discussed it and agreed it would be the smartest course of action for the end of her pregnancy. And given how exhausted she feels already, she’s sure she’ll be functionally useless by her final trimester, so it’s probably better for everyone this way. Still, despite her ready acquiescence, Cassian looks like he's bracing himself for a fight.

"You feel okay about this?" he asks warily.

"Yes," she says, drawing the word out in annoyance. "We knew it would happen eventually. And it hasn’t even technically happened yet, so...”

"And when it does happen, it's not like it’s forever,” he says, in his most pacifying tone of voice. “There will be more missions for you once the baby is here and you've had a chance to recuperate."

Jyn nods, though even that feels like a lie. “I’m sure there will be,” she says, hoping that her tone is mild enough that Cassian won’t sense her internal conflict.

Of course, he immediately tilts his head and stares at her with narrowed eyes. She can’t get anything past him. “What’s the matter?” He asks.

“Nothing.”

“Jyn...”

“I’m serious,” she insists, even as Cassian comes to sit on the edge of the bed next to her. “It’s nothing!”

Of course, she has no idea how she’ll actually feel once she has the baby, but with every passing day, she wonders more and more if she’ll even want to go back to Rebel Intelligence once her leave is over. It’s always been more Cassian's thing than it has ever been hers and the idea of giving it up doesn't feel like a betrayal of who she is in the way it would be for him if anyone dared to ask him to do it. She doesn't want to ask that of him, either, she just needs to be sure he'll be alright doing it without her. Then again, he did it with only K2 for backup for years and somehow managed to survive, so maybe she's just being self-important thinking he'll care if she's with him on missions in the future or not. Still, trailing after Cassian in the field is most of what she does for the Alliance; she's not sure what else she'd be good for.

There's also the fact that she imagines she won't be in high demand for missions once she has a young child at home depending on her. The representative who explained when she would have leave from her duties was also adamant that her choice to have a family would not interfere with her chances at promotions or assignments, that the Alliance did not discriminate in that regard and she should file an official complaint if she experienced any such discrimination. Jyn knows that, in a perfect world, that would all be true. But even the Alliance isn't perfect and, if she were a general, her first choice of who to send to the front lines wouldn't be someone's parent. People will naturally assume her priorities have changed and they may even be right. She doesn't know how she'll feel yet, so she's trying to keep an open mind and imagine all the alternatives. But she doesn't want to have that fight with Cassian right now--the one where he assures her that she's valuable to the team and better in the field than she actually is and she gets mad at him, irrationally, for always seeing the best in her--so she doesn't say any of that. She just squeezes his hand.

"I'm just a little nervous about going on another mission like this, that's all," she says, which is true, so she doesn't have to feel bad about the other conversation she's avoiding. "When do we leave?"

"Three days," Cassian replies, and she knows he's choosing to let her off the hook for now, rather than actually being fooled by her excuse. This whole being in love with a spy thing is no joke.

"We'd better tell the others, then."

"Yeah, I'm on my way to do just that."

"I'll come with you," Jyn says, pushing herself up to a seated position with considerable effort. She's still not showing, but she feels more pregnant every day.

"Are you sure?" Cassian asks, brows knitting together in concern.

"You afraid the walk from here to Baze and Chirrut's quarters will kill me, or something?"

"Well, now I am!"

"The last trimester's going to be a lot of fun for you, I can tell."

He glares at her for that. "I was actually thinking that maybe you'd rather sit this one meeting out because maybe you were still upset about the team's reaction to your announcement. I could make your excuses, if that's what you want."

It really would be easy to make up a reason not to go. Between the exhaustion and the morning sickness and the insomnia, pregnancy offers no shortage of opportunities to be antisocial. And the situation with the team is more or less the same as it was a few weeks ago: everyone is still being exceedingly casual about her and Cassian having a baby. Aside from Bodhi asking her how she's feeling with increased frequency, everyone has been acting like it's business as usual. Jyn has done her best not to take it personally—she's sure Cassian is right and they would care more if she talked about it more, but she's not sure she's ready to risk it just yet.

"I'm fine," she says and almost means it. "I'm over it. I'll come with you. If we go to Baze and Chirrut's place first, we'll probably find Bodhi too. He's been over there a lot lately."

Once she succeeds in getting herself out of bed, she and Cassian wind their way through the maze of hallways on the base--Jyn swears that every time they pick up and move to evade the Empire, the rebels make the layout of the new base more confusing--and arrive at the door right before a voice within calls out, "Come in!"

Cassian looks at her with a perplexed frown on his face. She shrugs, because she presumes his confusion is about how they knew to expect them and she has no answer to that. Chirrut just knows things, sometimes. She's moved past being perturbed by it and just accepted it as a very strange part of her life. Cassian acknowledges her non-answer with a nod and punches in the code to the keypad next to the door, which sweeps open to reveal Baze, Chirrut, Bodhi, and K2 gathered together and each absorbed in the task of what looks like knitting.

"What is happening right now?" Jyn asks before she can stop herself. She looks over at Cassian again, only to find him wearing an expression as baffled, she imagines, as her own.

"We are constructing baby items," Kay answers readily.

"You're...what?" she asks, at the same time as Bodhi hushes Kay.

"Oh, right," Kay replies. "It is a secret. We are not doing anything."

"It was meant to be a secret," Baze interjects pointedly, "but I suppose that's over now."

"If it was meant to be a secret, why'd you tell us to come in?" Cassian asks, clearly still recovering from his shock.

"We're expecting Taidu and Melshi any moment," Bodhi says.

"And someone claimed he would recognize their footsteps if he heard them outside," Baze adds, with a glare at Chirrut.

"I knew they were the footfalls of our friends," Chirrut replies. "That should count for something."

Jyn shakes her head, still not understanding the situation she's walked into. "You're waiting for Taidu and Melshi to do...what?"

"To...construct baby items," Bodhi answers, with a sheepish smile.

"For...?"

Bodhi gives her a long look. "For you," he finally says, like she's being dense.

"For me?"

"Well, for your baby, technically. Yours and Cassian's. You do remember telling us about that, right?"

"Yeah, I remember, I just thought..."

"What?"

"We thought maybe you'd forgotten about that," Cassian says, after a moment of Jyn struggling for words. He puts his hand on her arm reassuringly and she's annoyed to find her eyes are filling with tears.

"'Forgotten,'" Baze grumbles under his breath as he shakes his head, which does an eloquent job of showing what he thinks of that idea. He doesn't so much as miss a stitch in whatever he's knitting, though.

"It was Baze's idea," Chirrut pipes up from his side. "Back when we used to run the orphanage in Jedha City, he'd sometimes make things for the kids when we didn't have enough donations. One of the women in the marketplace taught him, and he taught me."

He holds up what he's working on, which is a tiny, fancy-looking sock, just like the one Baze is making. There's a pile of similar items on the bed between them.

Jyn swallows around the lump in her throat. Baze doesn't often talk about their life on Jedha before she showed up and disrupted everything. Chirrut is more forthcoming, naturally, but she gets the sense it's painful for both of them, just in different ways. The fact that they're making clothes for her child makes this piece of their history even more precious to her.

"Socks?" she asks, leaning closer to see.

"Booties," Chirrut corrects, cheerfully.

"Fancier than a sock, but not as sturdy as a shoe," Bodhi adds, helpfully. When she looks over at him, she notices that's not what he's making and, as if sensing her gaze, he immediately ducks his head in embarrassment and adds, "I'm not making those anymore. I had a little trouble with the shaping."

"Bodhi is working on a blanket, which is just as important," Baze interjects, sternly, "and only involves knitting in straight lines."

"And I'm winding yarn," Kay adds, gesturing with his hands to show them the purple yarn wound perfectly around them and feeding into Bodhi's project.

"Which is also just as important," Bodhi says, deliberately, in Jyn and Cassian's direction, as if daring them to laugh.

"Yes. It is," Kay says, happily.

Jyn feels herself scramble for a reaction to all this that isn't collapsing into a ball of tears on the floor, which would be embarrassing, or fleeing from the room, which would be rude and potentially also embarrassing. Then again, sobbing in front of everyone might seem unappreciative, so that might also be rude. She doesn't have a lot of good options here.

She feels Cassian squeeze her bicep with the hand he still has resting on her arm, and she turns to him in tearful bewilderment. She sees some of her own fond confusion reflected back at her in his eyes, and just a little bit of I told you so in the small smile he gives her.

"I don't understand," she says, in his direction, but mostly to the others. "Why are you doing all this?"

"You're going to need clothes and things for the baby, and I assumed you and Cassian don't have much left from when you were that age," Baze says, as if this should all be obvious.

Jyn swallows painfully, the reminder of her childhood not being a pleasant one. But he's right. She certainly doesn't have anything from when she was a baby, and, knowing what she does of Cassian's past, it's unlikely he does either. Neither of them are really the sentimental type, anyway, by training if not by nature. At least, they didn't used to be.

Things change, though, she thinks as she covers Cassian's hand with her own. "No," she says to Baze, "we don't."

He nods, as if this was the conclusion he's been waiting for her to arrive at. "Where Chirrut and I are from, it would be your families that made such things for you when you're expecting your first child, so I thought we could put something together for you." He pauses, frowning. "Perhaps I should have--I didn't mean to assume..."

"No, it's--" Jyn takes a deep breath, overwhelmed. "Thank you."

"It means a lot to us," Cassian says to the group, as he wraps his arm around her shoulders.

Baze nods again, accepting their gratitude with his usual placidity, and Chirrut smiles down at his project. When she catches Bodhi's eye, he winks at her before turning his attention back to his stitches and K2 naturally has no idea that any of this emotional upheaval is happening right in front of him. Jyn feels more stable now and less like she might start sobbing at any moment, but the threat of it is still very real when Cassian tightens his hold on her, bringing her closer into his side.

"Alright?" He asks, quietly enough that only she can hear.

She feels a single tear roll down her cheek and hurries to brush it away, and when she looks at Cassian, she can see his eyes shining with moisture as well. At least she's not alone, she thinks as she smiles up at him.

"Yeah, I just...I'm a little overwhelmed. I mean, look at all the stuff they're making us!"

"I know," he says, fondly. "This baby is going to be so lucky, having all these people to love them."

"Right, that," Jyn says, waving a hand. "But seriously, look at all those baby socks!"

"Yeah, I see them. What's wrong?"

"It's just...how many feet do they think our baby is going to have?!"

Cassian glares at her and she can only withstand it for about a second before she starts laughing. He pulls her into his arms and she can feel him laughing too.

"Whatever happens," he says, as he kisses the top of her head, "we've got them covered."

[nebulablakemurphy]

Miss American Pie

Chapter Five: This Will Be The Day (Finale)

Warning: this series features a romantic Yelena Belova x Fem!Reader pairing.

Summary: Everyone has returned but the battle for humanity against Thanos wages on.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

You wake in a coughing fit, the rubble surrounding you sears your lungs. “Natasha.” You call into the rocks and flickering lights. Clearing your throat, you try again. “Natasha!”

“Here, I’m here.” Her voice is rough, pained.

You push yourself toward the sound, through the dust you can make out her hair. “You ok?”

“Mostly.” She’s laying face up, a few scratches visible.

“What the hell does that mean?”

“I can’t move.” She nods at the piece of collapsed cement. “My leg is broken, you should go.” Nat says, staring up at the sky.

“I should’ve never let you go to Vormir. I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.” You try uselessly to budge the blockage over her leg.

“What is Vormir?” She asks.

“Doesn’t matter.” You swallow the lump in your throat. “How much do you remember?”

“The red room.”

“Do you remember getting out?”

“No one gets out.” She shakes her head.

“We did.” You inform her. “Yelena did.”

“Yelena?” Her gaze finds yours. “You know Yelena? Is she here?”

“Yes, I know her.” You press your lips together. “She’s not here though.”

“The rest of this building is coming down. If you were really trained in the red room you have to know that.” Natasha frowns. “You need to leave.”

“Not gonna happen.”

“Don’t be a hero.” She whispers. “Let me go, it’s ok.”

“No, it’s not.” You argue. “I won’t do it again.”

“What about Yelena?” Natasha gives you a pointed look.

“She’ll understand.” This is what she would do.

“Hey,” Natasha pushes herself up on her elbows. “Would it be a good thing or a bad thing if a giant man in a metal suit carrying a smaller man and a raccoon appeared behind your head?”

You turn toward the man in question. Scott Lang. “It would be a good thing.”

———————————————————————

Natasha is taken somewhere safe. She can’t fight.

As the strange doctor and his disciples start opening portals you see that you’re not alone. Through one comes Alexei, Melina and Yelena.

Her white suit is pristine, dirty blonde hair held away from her face in ponytails.

On shaky legs you move toward her, taking your rightful place at her side. Facing what lies ahead together.

Yelena catches your hand, “this isn’t much of a welcome home.”

You can’t help but laugh, “pretty cool way to die though.”

“Very,” she agrees. “Natasha?”

“She is a little worse for wear.” You warn her, “but alive…and safe.”

Yelena gives you a watery smile, squeezing your fingers. “And you?”

“A tower fell on me.”

“Of course it did.”

Thanos’ army is nothing to scoff at. Giant airborne creatures hover over his troops. Larger monsters stand in their ranks, space ship overhead ready to destroy.

Steve is almost unrecognizable, covered in dirt, his shield battered and broken. But you know it is time when he gives the order. “Avengers, assemble.”

Fighting is easy, it’s what you know. What you were trained to do. Fight to stay alive, fight for what you believe in, fight with Yelena; for Yelena.

The two of you move together like a well oiled machine. Like riding a bike, even after all this time you could never forget.

“We’ve got company to the left.” Yelena says through gritted teeth, kicking at the alien creature beside her. Dropping an empty cartridge to the ground and reloading her gun seamlessly, firing several shots.

Despite everyone’s best efforts they just keep coming. “Do we have a plan here?”

“Getting there,” Steve replies. “Anybody have eyes on the gauntlet?”

“Yeah!” Clint rushes past you with the glove in hand. “What am I supposed to do with it?”

“Get it out of here!” Tony insists.

“What’s happening?” Alexei shouts over the chaos. “I still don’t have ear piece.”

“Just keep their army away from that guy in the tank top.” You grunt, falling backwards from the force of one of Thanos’ soldiers colliding with you.

“We have to get the stones back where they came from.” Rhodey reminds everyone.

“The time space tunnel is completely collapsed.” Tony points out.

“That isn’t our only time machine.” Lang cuts in.

“Does anyone see an ugly brown van out there?” Captain America’s voice hums through the ear bud.

“I do,” a female voice chimes in. “But you’re not going to like where it’s parked.”

After grappling for far too long, you manage to knock the creature from you. Using your knife to dismember it.

“Next time, we get the cool laser guns.” Yelena yells loud enough to be heard by everyone on the network, as she hauls you to your feet.

“Friday, please add laser guns for the ballerinas to my grocery list.” Stark gives his smart ass remark.

“What’s the word on the van?” Rhodey wonders.

“Working on it now.”

The ship at Thanos’ disposal begins raining fire, no regard for their own troops.

“We’ve got people going down!” Rocket hollers.

“Clint,” you call into the microphone. “How’s that gauntlet?”

“Moving down the field.” The archer replies, “I’m alright too, thanks for asking.”

“Good.” You bite back a smile.

Hell continues breaking loose around you. Glowing circular orbs unfold in the air above, providing coverage from the missiles. You’re not sure if this is winning or losing. It feels like a bit of both.

———————————————————————- Thanos and his army are dusted away. Leaving you surprised and still swinging as the shock wears off.

You won. You. Won.

And you lost.

You lost Tony Stark. The man you’d barely known, but offered you clarity that will stay with you forever.

You lost the Natasha you’d come to know over the five years that Yelena was gone. Some parts of the redhead stripped away for the price of the stone.

But she’s still here. Waiting in the wings to be greeted by Yelena and their little makeshift family. You share a look of understanding when your eyes meet over the blonde’s shoulder.

Others come, Banner refuses to leave her side. Despite the fact that Natasha doesn’t remember him.

Clint falls to the ground at her feet. Breaking down at the sight of his friend, his family alive and well. She doesn’t remember him either, but welcomes him into her arms somewhat awkwardly.

Her expressions flicker from happy to overwhelmed. Hesitant to open herself up to the possibility that she is wanted, needed and loved.

Too confusing for the girl who only remembers the red room. Adjusting to this life will take time.

Everyone begins clearing out, their jobs finished. Rushing home to reunite with their loved ones. Tomorrow will bring about new challenges. The world is in shambles, and so are you.

Steve decides that he should be the one to return the stones. His goodbye tells you that he has a bit more in mind. But this is his life. His choices, not yours.

“Well, I guess we should head out too.” You say after a while. Your car is gone, lost in the wreckage from the explosion.

The setting sun is eclipsed, causing all of you to turn your gaze upwards just in time to see the ship’s door open.

“Is that a raccoon?” Melina asks, pointing toward Rocket.

“Do you want a ride or not?” Rocket shoots back.

“Not the avenger’s super jet, but it will do huh?” Alexei smiles, this is his dream.

“This is better!” A man’s voice carries down from the interior.

“Well,” Yelena shrugs, “if you say so.” She leads the pack up the ramp and onto the ship.

“Fanny and the pigs will be expecting dinner soon.”

“How are they?” Melina asks, “have you been taking care of them.”

“That was me!” Alexei says proudly, bending at the waist to gather Natasha into his arms. “Aye honey,” he grunts, hoisting her up. “You are only little girl in my heart.”

Nat pushes against his chest in retaliation.

“Do you mind if I hitch a ride too?” Clint asks.

“The extra stop will cost you,” Nebula stares blankly at him from her seat.

“They always do.” He remarks, trotting up the ramp.

Bruce paces at the foot of the metal grate, watching the rest of you load up. “I gotta hang back, make sure Steve gets there in one piece.”

“After what happened with Scott the first time I’d say that’s probably the best bet.” You agree, standing near the entrance.

“Yeah,” he smiles, kindly. “Keep me posted on Nat, will ya?”

“I will,” you return the smile.

“I’ll see you around.”

You nod, “I’ll see you.”

The captain of the ship introduces himself as Star-lord, and after a moment without response, Quill.

“Any requests?” He asks, finger hovering over the control panel.

Alexei creeps over to the younger man, quietly relaying a message.

“Alright,” Quill nods. Stroking the keys until a familiar set of notes ring out.

“A long, long time ago-“ The singer croons.

You let out a chuckle.

“I can still remember how that music used to make me smile. And I knew if I had my chance, that I could make those people dance. And maybe they'd be happy for a while.”

“We’re really doing this?” Yelena puts a hand to her head, the corners of her mouth turning upward.

“But February made me shiver, with every paper I'd deliver. Bad news on the doorstep, I couldn't take one more step.” The melody carries on.

“It’s your song.” Natasha turns to her sister.

“I can't remember if I cried. When I read about his widowed bride.” Melina’s eyes are far away, carried back to their years in Ohio. Before the world had been so cruel.

“Something touched me deep inside, the day the music-“

“Died.” Yelena joins in, lulling her head to the side to gage your reaction.

You sigh, all of this beyond surreal. But you allow yourself to live in this moment, because you might not get another. “So bye, bye Miss American Pie…”

“Drove my Chevy to the levee, but the levee was dry.” The roaring chorus of voices fills the silence you’ve grown used to. Fills the parts of you that were empty for so long. “And them good ol' boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye. Singin', “this’ll be the day that I die.”

“This’ll be the day that I die.” Yelena sings, her face alight with a childlike glee.

——————————————————————-

Melina, Natasha and Alexei stay with you for a while. A few weeks as Natasha heals and becomes acclimated to her life.

She claims to hate the attention, but deep down you know she’s full of it.

The Ohio house is bursting at the seams with five adults, nine pigs and one dog.

That isn’t enough to keep visitors at bay. Namely Clint, his wife Laura and their three children.

Things feel a bit off when everyone begins moving out. Alexei, Melina, and their pigs return to the farm outside of Saint Petersburg.

Natasha finds herself drawn to New York, with Bruce and the makeshift building he’s using as a lab.

You adjust to the steady thrum that is daily life, with Fanny and Yelena.

After dinner you load the dishwasher, drying your hands on the nearby tea towel before selecting a cycle.

“So how does it feel?” Yelena asks, leaning against the doorframe.

“Hmm?” You turn to face her.

“Being a hero.” She clarifies, a smile playing at her lips.

“I’m not-“

“Oh cut the crap, Y/N. You saved the world.” Yelena narrows her eyes at you.

“I did it for you.” You say simply, because it’s true.

Yelena closes the space between you, “why?”

“You know why.” You whisper as she cups your face in her hands, gently stroking her thumb over your cheek. “It’s ok if you wouldn’t have done the same.”

“I’d do more for you, and worse.” She assures you. “But do you really want to spend the rest of your life fumbling around feelings in the dark when you could have someone who-“

“I want you. I only ever want you.” You beckon her closer. “Anyway I can have you, that will be enough for me.”

Sometimes wires get crossed and you want things you never have before. And she provides them before you have a chance to ask. You give back to her tenfold, so that neither glass is ever empty. That is love. True love, the only way you’ve ever known it.

“I am yours…in every way a person can belong to another.” Yelena breathes, “and then some.”

Series taglist: @jeyramarie @freeshavocadoooo @ilovewinter101 @3and30aresoultwins @yelenabelovv @miphas-trident @1800-fight-me

If you loved this series as much as I did, you can check out the prequel here!

[alltheworldsinmyhead]

ON FEYSAND’S PLOTLINE IN ACOSF

              !!!!MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE WHOLE ACOSF!!!!

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Let’s be honest for a while, okay?

ACOCF had potential to be SJM’s best book, if not for any other reason then because of the sheer idea of it. Coming-of-age, healing story of the most complex and polarizing character she has ever created set in the time of peace, away from the familiar setting (according to the later changed concept which still remains in the snippet at the end of ACOFAS), development of her arguably most feisty and angsty love story... It could be her absolute trumph. Even with the change to stick to Velaris instead of exploring the Illyrian culture of the Mountains and with the added conflict of the Mortal Queens and Koshei, it still could work quite well. 

It didn’t. For many, many reasons, but the most important one, in my opinion, being the feysand pregnancy plot. 

Nothing about this plotline made sense. Not a single thing. From start to finish, it was an absolute disaster from the character-writing POV, from the narration POV, from every single context of it. It broke the rules of real-life logic, it broke the rules of this fantasy world setting and it completely exposed that Rhysand, while not a bad guy, is a pretty terrible partner, even worse ruler and an absolutely terrible contender for the High King title. 

Let’s break this whole mess down (and expect this post to be mammoth-sized. it’s not my fault, though, write to SJM if you have any complains):

1) Feyre, 21, decides to get pregnant, even though less than a year earlier, she expresses the delight with not being forced to bear children to her new mate and told him herself she wants to wait a while and enjoy her life with him. Feyre decides she wants a baby though and Rhysand goes along with it, even though he is aware how young Feyre is and how hard her life has been up until this point. He wants a baby too much to have an honest discussion with Feyre about it, to stop and wonder what is the reason for her sudden change of heart, to reassure her that they have a lot of time ahead of them and don’t need to rush. No. She mades a sudden decision to have a baby after A YEAR OF MARRIAGE and not much more of being turned fae, JUST AFTER having her whole world put upside down, having received a completely new title and responsibilities, surviving the wat and being mated. Great. 

2) Feyre decides to get pregnant and Rhys goes along with it less than a year after the end of the bloody war. It is politically a delicate time, everyone is still not sure how the balance will shift, some countries don;t want to sign the peace treaty, etc. There are a lot of enemies and a lot of turmoil remaining. But sure. Let’s have a baby. Perfect time to add yet another target, another weakness that can be use by the Mortal Queens, Beron or whatever else with malicious intent towards the Night Court. 

2) Feyre gets pregnant after approximately a year of trying. I know healthy people of reproductive age for whom it takes ages more than this. Fae’s pregnancies are rare af and precious and happen once in a blue moon, but ofc SJM broke the world’s rules for her darling Feyre. And again, for Kallas and Vivianne who are also expecting the baby, even though it has been a maximum of 3 years since they’ve mated. 3 years is also not a particularly long time to try to have a baby for those who have issues with their reproductive systems like Fae women. Thank you, next. 

3) Rhys has unprotected sex with Feyre in her Illyrian form when she conceives, even though he knows full well having a winged baby would kill her. He does it anyway, for shits and giggles apparently. They probably have sex in the sky above Velaris, for all we know. 

4) The baby has wings. Now, the whole explanation with Illyrian wings being bony (bc they resemble bat wings) and Seraphin ones being more flexible (bc they resemble bird ones) is so insanely stupid that it takes around 3 seconds to wikipedia this shit and find out it’s exactly the opposite. But okay, the baby has wings and Feyre will die while giving birth, along with the baby. Madja forbids Feyre from turning into an Illyrian to carry the pregnancy because it MIGHT hurt the baby. Now, remember, Feyre conceived while in Illyrian form and then turned into High Fae. The baby survived it just fine. The baby MIGHT be hurt by Feyre turning .... but it will FOR SURE die if she stays High Fae and Feyre will too. Idk about you, but I would take the risk of MIGHT instead of FOR SURE. Especially when she is already in labour and dying. Cauldron or Nesta or idk who alters Feyre’s pelvis after the baby is cut out of her for no apparent reason but to allow feysand to make exactly the same mistakes later on. How convinient. And Nesta also alters her own pelvis bc god forbid she won’t be able give Cassian babies like the little useful mate she is now. She should’ve probably done it with Elain too, just in case she decides to fuck Az in the future, because fuck consequences and fuck the stakes in the story that make the readers actually CARE about characters bc they know the author may actually kill them and not save their life every fucking time.  

5) I don’t even want to comment on the fact Rhys hid the true danger of this pregnancy for Feyre and their family went along with it. It is absolutely disgusting. And Nesta telling her and that being condemned as the act of the ultimate cruelty which is a final straw to break her self-loathing back.... is abhorrent. It made my sick, actually, phisically sick. There is no justification for it. No at all. And the fact that they did not even consider abortion sends a message that I really don’t want to think too much about it. Feyre was 2 months along when they learned the baby is winged. 2 months. 8 weeks. It wasn’t a baby yet, let’s be honest. They could’ve at least discussed it. She - oh my god, I cannot believe SJM wrote it this way, I’m gonna be sick. 

6) For the entirety of Feyre’s pregnancy, they have no plan to really help her. Labour plan? Haven’t heard if it.  They have money and power and access to the healers of the whole land. And did not figure out how to stop her from bleeding out after a fucking C-section. THIS WORLD HAS MAGIC AND THEY COULDN’T STOP HER FROM BLEEDING OUT AFTER A FUCKING C-SECTION. Didn’t even ask Thesan, the High Lord of Healing, to be present. Cassian had guts hanging out of his stomach and survived. Az was fucking slashed apart in Hybern and survived. But yeah, Feyre was on a brink of death after a C-section. Great, Sarah. Keep it up. Let’s force the thought into young girls’ heads that labour is the most lethal thing ever, why not. 

7) Also, for the entirety of Feyre’s pregnancy, Rhys keeps quiet about this idiotic bargain. He, as far as we know, doesn’t make any plans for the moment when him and Feyre and possibly their baby are dead. If they died and baby survived.. who would take care of it? Does Rhys have a conversation with his family about it? NAH. Doesn’t write any sort of plan how to keep the Court going, doesn’t inform even the closest of his co-workers how they should proceed to act after he’s gone and his and Feyre’s power go to god-knows-who. Their deaths would mean a sure chaos for the weakend and fragile Prythian and the Night Court especially and yet nor Rhys nor Feyre make any sort of preparations for it. Rhys doesn’t tell his brothers or Mor or HIS SECOND IN COMMAND they will all soon have to somehow manage without him. He was about to just leave them to their own devices and told them in the last. possible. moment. 

And this man - this man is, according to Amren, the best candidate to handle the whole country? To unite it? This fool who makes idiotic bargains, who thinks first about his cock and his own selfish desires and considers his subjects and his responsibilities as a High Lord last and least important of all? Who has so much trust in his wife, in his High Lady, the mother of his son that he doesn’t tell her she will almost surely die on a birthing bed because it MAY UPSET HER? 

This plotline was the straw that broke my back. ACOTAR, at it’s heart has always been a ya fantasy with added ‘spice’ and I was willing to bend my critical-thinking skills in many cases and forget and forgive many smaller idiotic issues in this series. But this? It is not idiotic. It is massive and stupid to the point when it becomes insulting to the reader. It was a plot straight out of a bad fanfic, not something that should be in a published book written by someone who writes for a living. You could even argue that Twilight has handled this toxic trope better.  I have wasted my money on this book and thinking about it will always be painful for me. So yeah.

ACOSF could be great. Ended up quite pathetic. 

[wonlouvre]

hello! i see your requests are open again 😌 can i request jeonghan x reader, enemies to lovers kinda thing maybe where they have the same friends but jeonghan & reader always clash etc etc fluff at the end idk

i know you’ll come up with something amazing as always, do what you want with it 😘🥰💗

balance | y. jh. 

pairing: jeonghan x reader genre: enemies to lovers (kind of), fluff warnings: heights, ski mountain mechanical malfunctions (you know, dangling in the air kind of thing)  word count: 1.5k (i got carried away, im sorry)

💌: thank you so much for requesting!!! this was honestly fun to write although there was little to none banter, i’m so sorry :’( thank you for trusting me! i hope you like it <3 i will try to post at least two drabbles/requests per week :)

To you, Yoon Jeonghan was the type of person that looked like he would trample all over your principles in life. It’s a little dramatic of you but he can’t blame you for thinking so. He’s cocky, annoying and full of shit. The two of you stepped off on the wrong foot when he thought it was funny to pour sparkling water on your instant noodles as a prank during one of the traditional ski trips your group of friends always hold.

Soonyoung introduced him on what was supposed to be the best trip of your life only to get ruined when he made fun of you. Although technically speaking, your cup wasn’t the only victim of his shenanigan because the rest of your friends complained and threw it at the perpetrator before they could even finish eating. But you were hungry and stubborn, so you didn’t let it go. 

Ever since then, despite not confronting him, Jeonghan’s energy and wholebeing never clicked with yours. You barely speak a word to him and you rarely hang out with him, unlike with every single one of your friends. He hasn’t noticed and even if he did, you’re sure he could care less. Which is fine by you. The instant noodle prank is history and now that this year’s ski trip will be your third with him, you have just gotten used to ignoring his existence. 

“Jeonghan’s staring at you,” Seungcheol says, startling you. 

Your eyes throw daggers at him, not because he startled you, but because of what he said. 

The tall man nudges your shoulder with his. “I’m not lying. Give him a glance and then you’ll see.”

To set the record straight, you don’t have a grudge on Jeonghan for who he is. It’s more of what he does that gives a bad impression on you. Aside from the noodle incident, you noticed how much he takes pride in teasing and playing with the gullible younger ones and you hate him for that. It’s a good laugh every once in a while but it can hurt feelings at times and you don’t want that. He also likes to disagree and debate with everyone (you’re just glad you haven’t been a victim yet). When everyone else says yes, he’ll boldly say no. That’s how moronic he is to be friends with. 

Of course you acknowledge his good deeds. Whether you like to admit it or not, Jeonghan is a great friend. He is a beacon of strength among you knowing that he’s one of the oldest in the group. He knows where and when to have fun. He knows when to be there for anyone who needs him. He’s supportive. He’s loving. He’s more than okay. 

You’re just turning a blind eye because you’re still petty. 

It has come to your attention that apparently, Jeonghan has been harboring a crush on you. It’s a stupid rumor and you choose to ignore it because why. Why would he have a crush on you? You try confirming if it’s true by looking at him and observing his actions whenever he’s not paying attention. But to no avail, nothing special stood out.

In fact, it seems like all the staring and observation made you develop a crush on him. Now that’s even more annoying. 

You roll your eyes at Seungcheol’s nonsense and walk away from him to go to Jeongyeon who’s currently checking in everyone to the hotel. You might as well help her register everyone to all the activities you will be participating in. 

“Collect their IDs,” she orders without looking up from the form she’s writing on. “And tell them to fall in line so they can sign the consent form.”

“Told you we should have filled out the online form before getting here,” your complaint doesn’t go unheard by your friend who only glares at you, scaring you to immediately obey her instructions.

“IDs please,” you ask with your hand out and your friends happily complied as they chatted through the waiting time. You walk around to make sure you have everyone’s and as you double check, one last ID was missing. 

“You didn’t forget about me, did you?”

The devil himself, Yoon Jeonghan.

You take a deep deep breath before turning around and face the handsome face you’ve been sick of. Wait, did you just call him handsome?! 

Jeonghan flashes his signature smirk while pulling his wallet out from his pocket, picking one of the many cards inside it to hand to you. His gloveless fingers grazes yours and it concerns you why it made your heart skip a beat. You avoid his gaze and everything else about him and run back to Jeongyeon who’s the one asking for these in the first place. 

You heard his low chuckle and you wish you could wipe off his annoying grin with your fist. 

Moving on from what happened in the early afternoon, the rest of the day was pleasant enough for you and your friends to continue. Everyone had lunch at the local restaurant first before doing the group activities. It’s a good thing none of you are afraid of heights (except for Dokyeom, but he manages). Soonyoung leading everyone to hike the safe side of the snow covered mountain wasn’t a problem for him. 

After the quick mountain hike, you all scattered to have fun and decided to meet up for dinner in the evening. You, Jeongyeon, Dokyeom and much to your dismay, Jeonghan all went up to snowboard. 

The lift was supposed to carry the four of you up to the starting point before your adrenaline descend, but Dokyeom suddenly felt a wave of fear of heights and needed to calm down for a few minutes. He tells you to go on ahead and you did. You just didn’t expect Jeonghan to be accompanying you instead of Jeongyeon. 

You hide your disappointment and bewilderment as you make yourself comfortable. It’s awkward but it doesn’t matter. You’re just going to keep quiet and avoid looking Jeonghan’s way. This ride will probably not be a good ten minutes, right?

Jeonghan holds onto his snowboard while you place yours on the floor. A barrier of some sort to distance yourself from him. Your eyes are glued to your feet, watching them move from side to side. You also distract yourself from admiring the view outside the window, but it’s hard when you can feel his eyes burning holes on the back of your head. 

“Y/N.”

You hate it. You hate it. You hate it. 

Why does your name sound so melodic coming from his mouth?

You turn your head and raise your eyebrows, waiting for him to continue. 

But the lift doesn’t let him because it suddenly stops mid-air, echoes of metals clanking and brakes screeching following suit. The abrupt stop causes the lift to shake a little, making you hold onto the metal bars out of fear. 

“Ladies and gentlemen, there has been a mechanical malfunction of the lifts and our engineers are repairing it now at this moment. We apologize for the inconvenience and fear that this has caused. We request everyone to remain calm and seated…”

The announcement falls deaf to your ears because all you hear is ringing. You’re not afraid of heights at all. But you have never experienced an incident like this before. You’ve heard and read about it and not all of them ended well. 

“Hey,” Jeonghan’s voice snaps you out of your dilemma. 

You blink away your tears and clutch your chest to calm your heart that’s beating faster and faster. 

“Y/N?” Jeonghan calls for you again, but this time he’s reaching his hand out. “You’ll be fine. Here, take my hand.”

Jeonghan probably noticed the panic in your eyes. So, after throwing away your doubts outside the window, you carefully move a little closer to him but not beside him as you don’t want to ruin the balance of the lift. You unclench your fist and finally take hold of his waiting hand. 

Jeonghan’s warm palm and genuine smile calms you down. Your heartbeat slows down and your breathing goes back to normal. Your eyebrows furrow in both fear and embarrassment. You question the universe how and why did this have to happen. 

“Hey, don’t cry.”

“I’m not!” 

Jeonghan giggles at your outburst and you don’t know if that’s music to your ears or if it just makes you want to punch his handsome face more. 

“I like you Y/N,” he suddenly confesses and you grimace. 

“I like you too,” you confess back, tightly gripping his hand. “But now is not the time, Yoon Jeonghan.”

Jeonghan bites back a smile that says he’s in love and just gently caresses your hand. It’s unbelievable how the opportunity arose itself right at this moment, but it was now or never for him. He’d explain how much he likes you in detail later. For now, he’s okay with this. 

“But, later though?”

“Yes, now shut up before I throw you out first.”

[taestefully-in-luv]

Always You | JJK (Drabble#7)

Summary: You come back from Japan.

Pairing: Always You!Jungkook x female reader

Genre:, fluff!!

Word count: 3.8k

Warnings: mentions of sex

Notes: Here is technically the first drabble I wrote but I am only now just posting hehe. it's just a lil something something. This isn’t the end of drabbles don’t worry! Remember requests for drabble ideas are open! Lets chat:)

Taglist: @seagulljk @fancycollectormoon @justinetingball

© taestefully-in-luv

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I can’t believe it’s been a year since she left and you still get this nervous every time you see her.” Jimin playfully jabs Jungkook.

“Like, didn’t you just see her two months ago?”

Jungkook stands here, in the middle of the airport, holding a rose. He breathes in and out, his unsteady breaths making Jimin giggle.

“Two months is a long time ago dude.” Jungkook pouts, he brings the rose to his nose and takes a sniff, hoping the aroma will calm him.

“And she’s here for good now…and you know why I am so fucking nervous dude.” Jungkook keeps staring ahead, watching as crowds of people walk through the busy airport. His heart is slightly pounding as he watches in anticipation…you should be walking through at any moment.

“I know, I know.” Jimin smiles, “She’s going to love it.”

The last few months you were home before you left for Japan, you and Jungkook decided to get a place together. The few months you got to live together were pure bliss. Jungkook and you lived happily and comfortably together again, except this time sharing a room. You two did everything together, letting the newness of the relationship swallow you down in the most wonderful way. Cooking together, sleeping together, sometimes even bathing together. BFF bubble baths? Yeah, that. But naked. Just everything.

Jungkook had visited you in japan 3 or 4 times. But in a whole year only seeing you 3 or 4 times felt like nothing. He found himself feeling lonely quite often in your empty apartment but having the guys around really helped. Jungkook is beyond excited and also nervous to see you. He always feels this way, the distance that Japan put between the both of you really took a toll on him but he always stayed strong.

“I think I see her!” Jimin’s giddy voice makes it to Jungkook’s ears, “Let’s go!” Jimin grabs on to Jungkook’s arm and starts dragging him towards the crowd of people.

“Okay, okay.” Jungkook picks up his pace, his eyes scanning for you but he doesn’t see you. Why doesn’t he see you?

“Right there, right there!” Jimin begins pointing in some general direction. And then he sees you. He sees your bright green cardigan first and then he sees your smile next. Jungkook starts jogging towards you as his smile grows so fucking wide on his face, his teeth proudly displayed.

“y/n!” he calls out, now running towards you.

You see Jungkook making his way towards you, this boy is not slowing down. You start to laugh as you start walking faster and faster towards him too.

“Jungkook!” you yell at, not caring how loud you’re being. You are seeing your boyfriend for the first time in a couple months and you are so fucking excited. Especially because there is no more goodbyes after this.

Jungkook finally reaches you and scoops you up in his strong arms, he holds on to you so fucking tightly that you struggle to breathe. You’re laughing so loudly and hugging him back. He spins you around in a couple circles, his excitement is clear to any bystanders. Jimin finally catches up to you both and you catch his eye. You smile excitedly towards him and he slumps his shoulders in pout.

“I wanna hug her too Kook.” Jimin playfully frowns.

Jungkook keeps squeezing you, his head in the crook of your neck as he inhales you. He mumbles something into your hair and neither you nor Jimin understand what he said.

“My turn, my turn.” Jimin continues to whine. You can’t help but continue to giggle when Jungkook lifts his head from you and spins you around until he’s facing Jimin.

“No. All mine.” He says matter of fact and you hit his back.

“You have to share me, baby.”

“I most certainly do not.” Jungkook says in a stern voice and you start chuckling.

“Okay, okay. You can put me down now.”

Jungkook sets you down gently but he doesn’t loosen his grip around you. He continues to hold you, his eyes finally meeting yours. You look up at him and he feels himself transforming into a god damn puddle.

“Why do you look so beautiful, hm?” Jungkook leans in closer to you, “Why does my girl look so fucking beautiful?”

“Jungkook” you lean up until your lips barely touch his, “I missed you.” You whisper against his lips. Jungkook smiles and nods his head, he leans down to catch you in a sweet kiss.

Finally, he has you here. For good.

“Need I remind you, I am still here? And waiting for my hug and kiss too.” Jimin winks and you laugh into Jungkook’s kiss.

You finally pull away from Jungkook and he pouts dramatically, he does not want to let go of you ever again. You walk towards Jimin and embrace him fully, his arms go to wrap themselves around you with all his love. You guys sway your bodies back in forth in a tight hug, and you playfully kiss his cheek, making him burst out into giggles.

“Okay, back to me.” Jungkook softly whispers with doe eyes. “Back to me, back to me.” He repeats over and over, holding out his rose for you.

You finally notice the red flower and you start to turn a nice shade of pink as your blush deepens.

“For me?”

“No it’s for me.” Jimin deadpans, “Can you just take his flower already.”

You take a few steps until you’re in front of Jungkook and you reach out for the rose, your fingers brushing against his and even after all this time you feel butterflies fly in swarms in your stomach.

“This is so sweet, Jungkook.” You go in to hug him again and he gratefully embraces you back.

“Red roses symbolize love…” he says shyly, “So I thought it was appropriate.” He pulls back slightly, “I was going to give you a dozen…but I thought taking care of one is work enough already.” He chuckles, scratching the back of his neck.

“We couldn’t even take care of that Venus fly trap.” You remind him with a pointed smile, “So, smart move on your part.”

“Well, guys.” Jimin doesn’t mean to interrupt. “We should get going. Everyone’s probably wondering where we’re at.”

“What do you mean?” you tilt your head, “Where are we going?”

“Surprise.” Jungkook says with a grin. “Let’s go.”

~~~~~~

“Oh my god you guys are crushing me.” You are in the middle of a fucking group hug. Who’s idea was this? For sure Taehyung’s. He, Hobi and Jin are absolutely crushing you as they hug you tightly. Namjoon and Yoongi stand off to the side just waiting patiently for a turn, bless them.

“Because we—” Taehyung begins, “Missed. You.”

“So. Much.” Hobi finishes for him.

“SO MUCH!” Jin yells, “Visiting you once in Japan was not enough.” Jin begins to pull back, Hobi follows his lead but Taehyung continues to smoosh his cheek into your head, squeezing you so tightly it makes you laugh out loud.

“Okay, I believe it is my turn.” You hear Yoongi say calmly. “You can let go now Taehyung.”

“NEVER!” Taehyung giggles, “But fine.”

Yoongi goes in for a rather quick hug, but holds on to your arms as he speaks.

“The record shop was not the same with out you.” He somewhat whispers. “I just had to hear about Tae’s girl problems the whole time.” He teases.

“And Jin was right,” you hear Namjoon walk closer to you, bringing you in for a tight hug. “Visiting once in Japan was not enough.”

“Yeah, I haven’t seen you guys in what? 6 months?”

“And girl, that is too damn long.” You hear her voice cut through and you bubble over with excitement.

“TRINA!” you practically jump in her arms, she laughs that loud ass laugh you love so much and you can’t help but smile.

“And Holly too!” you rush to Holly’s arms, she hugs you back and you feel like everyone is here and you feel so whole.

“Happy?” you hear Jungkook’s voice from beside you. “We thought we would surprise you with a little welcome back party…”

“I’m so happy.” You admit, “Thank you.” You reach for Jungkook’s hand and interlock your fingers with his. “As much as I can’t wait to hang out here with everyone,” you bring your voice down to a whisper. “I also can’t wait until I am home alone with you.”

Jungkook turns a bit red before he’s smirking, squeezing your hand. He leads you to Jin’s backyard where everyone is starting to end up.

“We don’t have to wait until home before you can be alone with me.” Jungkook whispers back, you can hear his teasing tone and it goes straight to your lady bits.

“Be careful.” You warn, “I might take you up on that.”

“God, y/n. I am hoping you do.” He stops at the doorway and pulls you into his body, he grinds he hips into yours and you feel his half hard length.

“What are you thinking about that’s got you so worked up?” you tease, your hands running down his chest.

“You.”

“What about me?”

“Your lips have been on my mind since we got here.”

“Want to kiss me baby?” you press yourself into his chest, tipping your head up.

“So fucking badly.” But before Jungkook can lean down and capture your lips he hears someone’s throat being obnoxiously cleared.

“You guys are so fucking gross. Can’t even check if you’re alone.” Jimin rolls his eyes, he continues walking towards you two with a cup in his hand.

“Why is it always me that you guys always end up making out in front of?” He whines, and you chuckle. Not feeling too embarrassed since it’s just Jimin.

“Sorry, sorry.” You step away from Jungkook and put your hands on your hips. “Where’s my drink, hm?”

“Here, take this one. Not strong enough for me anyway.” Jimin hands you his cup and you roll your eyes with a grin.

“What about me?” Jungkook pouts, “I want a drink too.”

“You’re both fucking babies.” Jimin says with a playful smile, “I’ll make your drink, but you gotta keep me company.”

“Deal.” Jungkook nods his head, “You can go ahead and hang with everyone else baby.”

“Oh, thanks for the permission.” You salute towards him and he waves you off.

You head outside to find everyone else with their own drinks in their hands, chatting away. You find Trina and Holly and go take a seat next to them.

“I have missed you guys so much.” You sip on your drink, “Japan was so cool but nothing beats being home again.”

“We missed you too.” Holly puts a hand on your knee, “We’re so glad you’re back.” She says as she brings her hand back to her body.

“Yeah bitch, never leave us again!” Trina jumps into the conversation, “You should of seen Jungkook, honey. He was so miserable without you.”

And then you’re frowning. You know going abroad was a really tough decision. Especially because you had just gotten into a relationship and just 5 months in you went long distance. Jungkook struggled a lot in the beginning while you were thriving in Japan when you had first arrived. He talked a big game, saying you guys could handle it, saying going a few months at a time without seeing one another wouldn’t be such a big deal but it was…he grew depressed without you.

You nod your head once you get out of your thoughts, you take another sip of your drink and then you hear Taehyung speak up as he walks to you girls.

“He wasn’t that bad guys.” Taehyung assures you. “Maybe in the beginning… but after his first visit with y/n he lit up light a spot light and he got stronger. Plus he had us.” He gestures towards everyone.

You look up at Taehyung and feel immensely grateful…for his words and because he’s right, Jungkook had all of them to lean on.

“So when are you going to do it?” Jimin gives Jungkook a knowing smile, “Here? Some fancy date?” he continues pouring a “couple” shots of Vodka in his cup.

“Why the hell would I do it here? I planned a whole date, of course. I want everything to be fucking perfect.”

“When’s the date?”

“Tomorrow.”

Jimin watches as Jungkook wipes his assumingly sweaty palms on his jeans and he can’t help but softly smile towards his friend.

“It’s going to be fine, Jungkook.” Jimin’s tender voice does little to calm Jungkook though.

“What if she says—”

“She’s going to say yes.” Jimin sets the bottle of vodka down, he swirls his mixed drink with a spoon, giving it a look before shoving it into Jungkook’s hands.

“You need this one more than me.” He laughs, “Listen, just relax.”

“I can’t relax, I want tomorrow to be here already. But I am so nervous. What if things don’t go smoothly at the restaurant? What if—”

“What if it all goes wrong? Really?” Jimin raises a single brow. “But what if it all goes right?” he pats Jungkook’s shoulder. “Just do it when the moment feels right?”

“How will I know when that moment is?” Jungkook bows his head. A frown decorating his face.

“You’ll just know.”

You can’t believe you’re back home with all your friends. You’ve missed this. You don’t regret going abroad at all, you needed it, if you’re being honest. You needed to do something for you no matter what. You needed to go out into the world and experience something wild and new. And Japan was an absolutely perfect experience. Every time Jungkook would visit you two would have such a lovely time, but saying goodbye never got easier.

“What are you thinking about?” Jungkook snuggles you closer to his body, you’re sitting between his legs on the grass on a blanket.

“Oh nothing.” You sing. “Nothing.”

“y/n! Do you want chicken or beef?” You hear Jin ask over the light music filling the backyard.

“Chicken!” you yell back and sink lower to the ground, cuddling closer to Jungkook.

“I’m serious y/n…” Jungkook begins, “You don’t have to wait until we’re home to be alone with me.”

“Follow me inside the house then.” You turn your head to face him and you wink, “I’ll be in the bathroom.”

“The bathroom? Oh, we’re being classy tonight.”

~~~~~

Jungkook’s fingers barely touch you as he skids them down your bare back, you lightly moan at the contact.

“Missed touching you.” He says softly, he fingers now running up your back before they’re sliding back down again.

“Missed being touched by you.” The side of your face is pushed into your pillow as you stare at him. “I missed you so much.”

It’s the next morning, you two are lying naked in your shared bed, the sheets barely covering you. Jungkook continues stroking your back as you lazily close your eyes.

“I’m glad you found a job here.” Jungkook admits, “I don’t think I want to ever be apart from you again.”

“Was it that bad?” you whisper out.

“Baby…no matter what we can get through it but yeah, it sucked.” He chuckles, his fingers graze your skin lower and lower. He lifts the sheets back until your ass is in view, Jungkook kneads the flesh before bringing his hand back and giving you a little spank.

“So, be a good girl and never leave me again.” He goes back to massaging your cheeks and you groan.

“Never again.” You promise. You keep your eyes shut as you enjoy Jungkook’s touch. You roll over to your back, bringing the sheets to your face and you sniff them.

“It feels so good to be home…” you say, “To be with you. In our home. Together.”

Jungkook feels his heart flutter, like a butterfly is taking off and flying towards the big, blue sky.

“Are you happy?” Jungkook asks, “With everything? With…me?”

You crack open one eye to get a look at Jungkook…he’s lying on his side with one arm stretched out to stroke your soft skin and his other arm is holding up his head. He looks so soft and like he has a glow surrounding him.

“So unbelievably happy, my love.” You assure him, “With everything…with you.”

Jungkook eyes expand before they narrow at you and he smirks.

“What about me makes you happy?”

“What about you makes me…?” you begin to laugh lightly. “Can I say everything? Or do I I have to list specific things?”

“I want a list. In alphabetical order, please.” He jokes. “Least to most important.”

“They’re all important!” you close your eyes again. “But okay…A: ass…” you say and Jungkook spanks you again.

“I’m serious y/n.”

“Dude me too, you have such a nice ass.” You point out, “But fine, A: your attitude. Even when things get hard you try to stay positive and it really helps me to be honest…B: body, you are really hot. C: Coc—”

“Okay, I feel like I know where this list is going.” Jungkook cuts you off with a blush. He can’t help but chuckle.

“Really Jungkook, everything. You make me happy when you breathe. Just being here with you makes me happy. You make me laugh all the time, you make me think about life, you make me challenge myself, you push me to do things for me, you support me, you are always honest with me, you…” you take a breath, “You…love me and you don’t make me doubt it for a second.”

Jungkook looks taken aback for a moment, like your words are really surprising him. He continues to glide his hand down your back, feeling your skin beneath his fingertips. Jungkook never wants a moment like this to end. It’s perfect. You look so beautiful here, relaxing after a night out partying and welcome home sex. He thinks this is the most beautiful you’ve ever looked. But to be fair he thinks that a lot.

“Because I do love you.” He finally says, “So much.”

“Trust me, I know. And I love you just as much if not more.”

“That’s impossible.” He leans down to kiss the top of your head. “My love for you is endless, how can you top that?”

“I can live my life trying.”

This is a moment, a special moment. Does he need a fancy dinner date to create a moment like this? Or is this the moment that Jimin was talking about? The moment where he knows.

“y/n…do you want to spend the rest of your life with me?” his tone is soft, tender and shy. Your cheeks get painted a lovely shade of pink as you think of his question.

“Of course I do.”

“No… I mean it. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with me? Me and you forever? Me and you until we move on to the next life, and even then you have to promise to spend that one with me too…”

“Jungkook.” You giggle, “What are you going on about? We already said—”

“You’re it for me.” He admits, “You are without a doubt, the love of my life.” He blinks rapidly as if he were trying to rid himself of any oncoming tears.

“I mean it when I say you are the best thing that’s happened to me.” His lip slightly quivers and you reach up to caress his face.

“Baby,” you begin. “I love you.”

“Then…” Jungkook draws his hand that was stroking you to his body, he scratches the back of his neck and smiles shyly. “Will you spend the rest of your life with me?”

“Yes.”

“Then let’s make it official.” He says and you grow slightly confused. Jungkook stands from the bed and heads to the closet. You lay here wondering what the hell he is doing, is he putting on clothes? But he walks back out still naked, with something behind his back.

He comes to your side of the bed and gets down on both knees, he scoots closer to the bed until he’s face to face with you.

“Want to marry me?” he asks, reaching for your hand. His other hand holds a small box and your eyes grow twice their size. There’s no way he’s…

“Jungkook…” you breathe out, “Are you proposing?”

“Well, I have a ring. And I quite literally asked if you wanted to marry me. So yes?” he chuckles and you gasp.

“We don’t have to get married for a while. But being engaged and planning a future could be nice.” He suggests and you want to faint. You were not expecting this. Not so soon anyway. But he’s right, you don’t have to plan a wedding and get married right away. And he is without a doubt the love of your life as well.

“Jungkook.” You choke on his name, “Yes.” Jungkook sucks in a sharp breath…you said yes? His shocked expression slowly morphs into something much more soft. He takes your hand and he’s slipping the ring on your finger.

“Mine.” He says with a timid smile.

You stare down at your hand with the sparkly jewelry accompanying your finger.

“It’s so beautiful.” You say somewhat surprised.

“To be honest, Jimin really helped.” He admits with a laugh. “And by helped I mean he picked it out.”

“Figures.” You giggle and you reach for him, your hands on either sides of his cheeks as you bring him in for a kiss.

“You really want to marry me?” you raise a brow at him and he gives you his dopiest most in love bunny grin he can manage.

“I wouldn’t marry anyone else.”

“Good, me either.” You peck his lips again, “You want a whole life with me?”

“I want you in this life, the next life, the life after that…”

He plants kisses all over your face and you laugh.

“Want to marry you y/n. Want to adopt a pet with you…want to put a baby in you…want to grow old with you…” he says all between kisses.

“A-A baby?”

“One day. Multiple times.” He grins, kissing you again. “Don’t you want that?”

“Yes.” You say breathless. “One day.”

“I just really want you forever, you know?” Jungkook whispers. “Do you think you would like that?”

“Babe, I would love that.” You bring him in for another kiss, then you open your eyes and they travel to the ring on your hand. “And we just made that our plan.”